A family-friendly pantomime!

Written by Sian Wake

Inspired by the original tale by Hans Christian Andersen

A youth production for actors aged 6 to 16 years

Copyright held by SCRIPTED Drama ©

Performance via permission/license only
Contact sian via [email protected]

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A traditional pantomime with a modern twist!
Pantomime Synopsis
The young Emperor is forced to take the throne after his selfish, fashion-model Mum abandons
him to go to Italy to buy more shoes. The advice his mother gives him as she leaves is: “To be a
good Emperor you just have to look fabulous and execute anyone who steps out of line”.

She also reminds him to collect lots of taxes so he can update his wardrobe regularly. Eager to
impress his Mother, the Emperor does exactly that: He increases the taxes and demands the
villagers make him the most impressive outfit ever!

One of the villagers – a clumsy teenager called Sissy - is determined to be a fashion designer and
volunteers for the job. But she is actually a terrible designer with no skill or experience! In
desperation, Sissy and her dramatic mother (Nanny – The Emperor’s babysitter) decide to trick the
Emperor to embarrass him and teach him a lesson.

They pretend to create an amazing invisible fabric, which tricks the Emperor in to parading around
in his underwear!

SHOW RUN TIME: Approx 30 to 40 minutes

MAIN ROLES:
Nanny: Can be played by a boy dressed up as a girl (panto dame) or a girl. A funny
character! The traditional pantomime dame. She is the Nanny or “Babysitter” of the Emperor and
the Mum of Sissy. She is a very over the top, dramatic and funny character!

Sissy: GIRL. Sissy is a stubborn, clumsy, forgetful but loveable teenager who can’t decide what
she wants to do with her life. She suddenly decides to be a fashion designer...even though she is
terrible at it and has no experience!

Grotty The Chef – CAN BE A GIRL OR BOY: The disgusting, bogan chef. He/she is exactly NOT
the person you want near your food! He/she is always scratching, sneezing picking their nose,
coughing etc around the food.

Emperor: CAN BE ACTED BY A BOY OR A GIRL. The emperor who doesn’t really know what
he’s doing! He’s a bit dumb and a big wimp!

THERE ARE LOTS OF OTHER MINOR ROLES TO “SHARE THE SPOTLIGHT” &
LOTS OF CHORUS SCENES
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 CAST LIST
SUITS A CAST OF 10 to 40 actors
LEAD ROLES
Nanny:
Emperor:
Sissy
Grotty the Chef:

MINOR LEADS
Snotty (Grotty’s nephew):
The Emperor’s Mother:
The Secretaries:
The Maid:
The Factory Manager:

FEATURED CHORUS
Rick & Celia - The 2 Fashion Parade TV hosts:

Miss Fashionista 1 : can be played by a boy)

Miss Fashionista 2: (can be played by a boy)

VILLAGERS 1 to 17
(There are lines allocated for up to 17 Villagers to give all Chorus atleast one solo
line each)

Worker 1
Worker 2
Worker 3
Worker 4

Camera man

2 x Security Guards (smallest cutest cast members)

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 CUE TRACK 1: Overture (choice of song)

SCENE ONE: GOODBYE MOTHER

*DIRECTOR TIP* Easy Set Suggestion: A throne stands at the
centre of the back of the stage (a chair with red fabric draped
over it will suffice). On either side of these throne are clothes
racks with various outfits hung on them. A Full length mirror
stands to the side of the stage.

CUE TRACK 2: Barbie Girl by Aqua (cue immediately after Track 1)

LIGHTS UP when Barbie girls starts

Optional opening Number: BARBIE GIRL Song & Dance

With ALL CAST dressed in pink outfits with blonde wigs (including the boys). They are “the
Barbies”: Fashion obsessed followers of the Empress.
(If a dance is not desired, can play an excerpt of Barbie Girl as an overture)

Song Finishes and all the “Barbie Girls” strike a pose. Then exit to get their suitcase. The
EMPEROR’S MOTHER struts forward. She is dressed like an over the top fashion model and
wears heels.

EMPEROR’S MOTHER: (putting on big fashionable sunglasses) Where’s that son of mine?
Where’s that boy?

The EMPEROR steps forward.

EMPEROR’S MOTHER: Excuse me servant, fetch my son will you?

EMPEROR: Uh….Mother it’s me! I am your son!

EMPEROR’S MOTHER: (lifting her sunglasses to look at him more closely) What? Oh yes so you
are. Sorry sweetie I didn’t recognise you. When did you get so tall? You’ve grown darling.

EMPEROR: Mother, I’ve been the same height for 5 years!

EMPEROR’S MOTHER: Really? (she shrugs) Well darling I’m off.

MISS FAHSIONISTA 1 brings on a suitcase for her. MISS FAHSIONISTA 2 brings a fur coat

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EMPEROR: Off where?

MISS FASHIONISTA 1: It’s fashion week in France darling!

EMPEROR’S MOTHER: Do you really think I’d miss it? Then I’m off to Italy to extend on my shoe
collection – 6000 pairs of stilettos just isn’t enough you know! I must get more!

MISS FAHSIONISTA 2: 6000 pairs of shoes is just soooo….

MISS FAHSIONISTA 1 & 2: (snobbily) Basic. (they toss their blonde hair back over the shoulders
with sass)

EMPEROR: When will you be back?

EMPEROR’S MOTHER: July.

EMPEROR: (shocked) July next year?!

EMPEROR’S MOTHER: More like July 2028. It’s a long trip sweetie.

EMPEROR: But what about the kingdom? You’re the Empress!

EMPEROR’S MOTHER: Don’t stress dear, you can take care of it while I’m gone. I officially
pronounce you The New Emperor!

ALL “BARBIES” strut in rolling their suitcases (all cast)

EMPEROR: What?! But I don’t know how to rule!

MISS FASHIONISTA 1: OMG He is such a whiner!

ALL BARBIES (all cast) nod and mumur in agreement, looking at The EMPEROR like he is an
unappealing bug they want to squash!

MISS FASHIONISTA 2: Honey, this is why you should never have children!

EMPEROR’S MOTHER: (getting impatient) Honestly darling it’s not that hard! You just have to
look fabulous and execute anyone who steps out of line. Oh – and don’t forget to collect the taxes!
That’s very important!

EMPEROR: Collect taxes? From the peasants?

MISS FASHIONISTA 1 & 2 & EMPEROR’S MOTHER: Ofcourse sweetie!

EMPEROR’S MOTHER: How else will you afford to update your wardrobe every season?!

ALL BARBIES (all cast): (with sass) Helllooooo!

EMPEROR’S MOTHER: You MUST charge all those peasants taxes – and make sure you put
them up regularly. Now I really must be off. Ready girls?

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ALL BARBIES (all cast): Ready honey!

EMPEROR’S MOTHER: Let’s hit that catwalk!

MISS FASHIONISTA 1 & 2: Ah-one and ah-two and ah-strut that stuff!

They start to strut off with attitude

EMPEROR’S MUM: (turning back) Remember what I said darling: Fashion, execution and taxes!
That’s all you need to be a great leader.

EMPEROR: But –

EMPEROR’S MUM: Ta-ta darling!

ALL BARBIES: Ta-ta!

She exits

NANNY enters

NANNY: There you are sonny! Why the long face?

EMPEROR: Mummy just left! She’s not coming back until July 2028!

NANNY: 2028?! Well good riddance I say! She was a right pain in the buttocks! (seeing THE
EMPEROR’S sad face) oh don’t worry my boy! You’ve still got old Nanny here to look after you!
Lets be honest, I did all the parenting anyway! That mother of yours was useless! She was more
worried about nail polish and fashion then she was about spending time with her son! But don’t
despair! Your beloved old Nanny is still here for you my dear! I would never abandon you my
sweet sweet boy!

(NANNY Grabs EMPEROR dramatically and squeezes/hugs him. THE EMPEROR chokes as
NANNY squeezes him too tightly )

NANNY: You’re like a son to me – WHOA hang on a minute! (she pushes Emperor aside) If your
Mum’s gone, who’s gonna pay me wages?! I don’t babysit spoilt brats for free you know!

EMPEROR: Don’t worry Nanny! Mummy told me I just take money off the peasants to pay for
everything! That reminds me, I have to go increase the taxes!

NANNY: (shocked) Increase the taxes?! INCREASE THE TAXES?! How could you be so
heartless? Those poor peasants are struggling as it is! You horrible little man! I ought to smack
your little bottom! I thought I taught you better! Come here and let me smack you!

EMPEROR: (running away from Nanny in fear) But Nanny! More taxes means a payrise for you!

NANNY: (suddenly changing heart) Come to think of we are due for tax increase! Well then go
ahead and up the taxes you clever boy! I taught you well!

EMPEROR exits. NANNY suddenly notices the audience.

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NANNY: (to the audience) Oooh hello hello hello, we have visitors to the palace I see! I hope you
have the proper visitor passes! Hello everyone!

(wait for response)

NANNY: Oh goodness gracious me. Don’t you know how a pantomime works? There’s this thing
called audience participation. You’re supposed to participate!! So if I say “Hi everyone” You’re
supposed to shout back “Hello Nanny!” Let’s have a practice. *clears throat* Hello everyone!
(waits for audience response)

CHEF enters carrying a saucepan and a spoon, MAID enters with him with a broom.

CHEF: (talking to Maid) So he said he wouldn’t eat it, just cos there was a toenail in it! Crazy
huh?! I had to cook him a whole new meal! Took me ages!

MAID: You’re getting no sympathy from me! How many times do I have to tell you? Stop cutting
your toenails in the kitchen and you won’t have this problem Grotty! (she shakes her head and
starts sweeping the floor)

CHEF: (spotting Nanny) Oi Nanny! You’ve been stealing form my kitchens again! Where’s the
cake gone that I made last night?! (He gives a big disgusting wipe of his nose)

NANNY: Oh don’t bother me now Grotty! I’m talking to our visitors here. I was just teaching them
to be a good pantomime audience. Watch this: (to audience) Hello everyone!

Wait for response.

CHEF: (scratching his underarm with his spoon as he talks) Awesome! Can I try?

NANNY: No.

MAID: (coming forward) Can I?

NANNY: No.

CHEF: Why not?

NANNY: Because it’s MY game.

CHEF: But I let you play my games!

NANNY: It’s still a no

MAID: That’s not fair!

NANNY: Life’s not fair! Get used to it! If life was fair I would have married Brad Pitt (or insert name
of relevant famous heartthrob) and had Justin Beiber as a son and I’d be rich and gorgeous living
the high life in Hollywood….instead I’m stuck here in a cold old castle with you idiots for company!

CHEF: Well can I tell them a joke?

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NANNY: Oh alright then, hurry up Grotty! We haven’t got all day! This is a short show. We only
had 10 weeks to rehearse you know!

CHEF: Alright, alright! (clears his throat excitedly and spits on the floor) Knock knock

AUDIENCE: Who’s there?

MAID: Whoa whoa whoa! Grotty, Did you just spit on my floor?!

CHEF: No

MAID: You filthy liar! You did! (to the audience) He just spat on my floor didn’t he?!

AUDIENCE: Yes!

NANNY: If you want to tell that joke of yours you better clean it up PRONTO!

CHEF: Fine! (calling out) Oi Snotty! Get out here and clean up this floor!

SNOTTY rushes on and CHEF directs him to wipe up the spit with his shirt.

MAID: Who on earth is that?!

NANNY: How long have you been hiding a little man in the kitchen?

CHEF: It’s my nephew!

SNOTTY: Hello little lady! Snotty’s my name and cooking’s my game! Uncle Grotty took me on as
an apprentice!

NANNY: Your name is Snotty?

SNOTTY: Yep!

NANNY: So you’re Snotty and Grotty?

SNOTTY & CHEF: Yep! (they spit on the floor in unison)

MAID: What did I tell you about spitting on my floors?! It’s disgusting!

CHEF: Yeah Snotty! (slapping him over the head) No spitting, it’s disgusting! Clean up that mess!

SNOTTY: (dropping down to clean the mess with his shirt again) Sorry Uncle!

CHEF: Anyway, back to my joke! (clears his throat & goes to spit but Nanny & Maid put up a
warning finger so he swallows it. He says to the audience:) Knock knock!

AUDIENCE: Who’s there?

CHEF: Kanga

AUDIENCE: Kangaroo who?

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CHEF: Actually it’s Kanga ROO get it right! (cracks up at his own joke)

MAID: Dreadful!

NANNY: Your jokes are as bad as your cooking!

CHEF: Speaking of cooking, what did you do with my cake?

NANNY: What cake?

CHEF: Snotty & I baked one fresh this last night for the emperor and now it’s gone. That’s the 3rd
one this week Nanny, You’re going to get fat if you keep stealing all the puddings!

NANNY: Fat?! FAT? What do you mean? I’m gorgeous! I look like a super model!

MAID, CHEF & SNOTTY: Oh no you don’t!

NANNY: Oh yes I do!

MAID, CHEF & SNOTTY: Oh no you don’t!

NANNY: Oh yes I do!

MAID, CHEF & SNOTTY: Oh no you don’t!

NANNY: Oh you be quiet you! I’ll let the audience settle this. (to the audience) I look like a
supermodel don’t I?

AUDIENCE: Oh no you don’t! (Grotty, Snotty & Maid lead/encourage the correct audience
response)

NANNY: Oh yes I do!

AUDIENCE: Oh no you don’t!

NANNY: Shut up you lot! (Nanny hurries over to the full length mirror to check her figure)

Suddenly shouting is heard off stage (from the chorus)

CHEF: Oi Snotty, can you hear that?

SNOTTY: Nuh! Hang on, I can’t hear properly. I got ear wax (he sticks his finger in his ear to clean
it, then sucks off the wax) Oh yeah! I hear it!

CHEF: We got visitors Nanny!

THE FACTORY MANAGER strides in. He is followed by TWO SECRETARIES wearing big
glasses who are scribbling frantically on their clipboards. One also carries a mug, the other a
coffee pot.

THE FACTORY MANAGER taps Nanny importantly on the shoulder

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FACTORY MANAGER: We got your delivery here, lady. The trucks are pulling around the back
now and we will bring it all in for you.

(He snaps his fingers and THE SECRETARIES hurriedly pour him a mug of coffee).

NANNY: Bring what in? I’m not expecting a delivery!

FACTORY MANAGER: The Emperor’s new clothes ofcourse! Duh!

THE SECRETARIES: (showing NANNY their clipboards) Sign here please!

FACTORY MANAGER: (Calling out to her workers) just dump ‘em on the old lady guys, she can
deal with it.

THE CHORUS file on hurriedly & importantly. They each carry a piece of clothing.

NANNY: Old lady?! Now wait just a – oof!

VILLAGER 1: (interrupting Nanny and dumping a coat in her arms) Delivery for the emperor!

VILLAGER 2: Delivery for the emperor! (She also dumps clothes in Nanny’s arms)

VILLAGER 3: Delivery for the emperor! (She also dumps clothes in Nanny’s arms)

VILLAGER 4: More for the emperor! (She also dumps clothes in Nanny’s arms)

NANNY: Goodness me I can’t hold all of this!

VILLAGER 5: Delivery for the emperor! (she dumps clothes on Nanny’s head)

VILLAGER 6: Delivery for the emperor! (she also dumps on Nanny’s head)

VILLAGER 7: Delivery for the emperor! (she also dumps on Nanny’s head)

VILLAGER 8: More for the emperor (she also dumps on Nanny’s head)

NANNY suddenly lets out a shriek and falls over but no-one takes any notice. More villagers dump
clothes on top of the fallen NANNY. CONTINUE UNTIL EVERYONE IN THE CHORUS HAS A
LINE. Other villagers bring in empty clothes racks.

CHEF: (asking the audience) Should I help Nanny?

(waits for response)

VILLAGER 9: That’s enough all of you! Let’s help Nanny up.

Nanny is helped up as she finally gets to her feet. SISSY enters in a rush. SISSY is not watching
where she is going and just as NANNY gets to her feet SISSY bangs in to her. NANNY shrieks
and throws all the clothes in the air in fear and falls back over

ALL VILLAGERS: (moaning) Sissy!

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FACTORY MANAGER: If she’s damaged any of that stock, you are NOT getting a refund! Give
her a copy of our refund policy girls!

THE SECRETARIES: Yes, boss!

THE SECRETARIES strip a piece of paper off the clipboards and hand it to SISSY

THE SECRETARIES: No refunds! Sorry!

VILLAGER 11: Sissy! You’re always causing trouble!

VILLAGER 12: She’s such a pain!

ALL VILLAGERS agree vocally

SISSY: Sorry guys! Sorry!

She desperately tries to pick up all the clothes and just trips over again

VILLAGER 12: Just leave it Sissy! You’re making it worse!

ALL VILLAGERS shake their heads and whisper about Sissy as they start to pick up the clothes
and hang them on the bare racks.

NANNY finally gets back up. She is furious!

NANNY: Sissy!!!

SISSY: Oh….hi Mum!

NANNY: Don’t you “Hi Mum” me you naughty girl! How did I get stuck with such a useless clumsy
daughter?

SISSY: I’m not clumsy!

VILLAGER 13: Then how did you get that black eye?

SISSY: uhhh…I was pulling up my blanket and punched myself in the face…

ALL VILLAGERS: See?! Clumsy!!

SISSY: Sorry about your clothes. Can I help you put them away?

SISSY goes to help pick up the clothes but the VILLAGERS rush to stop her

ALL VILLAGERS: No don’t! Stop! Leave it etc

VILLAGER 14: You’ll just make it worse Sissy!

NANNY: What’s with all these new clothes?

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THE SECRETARIES: The Emperor ordered them!

SNOTTY: All of these? Blimey! How many clothes does a bloke need?

CHEF: I’ve just got one of everything: One shirt, one pair of pants, one pair of socks and one pair
of undies! That’s all you need!

EVERYONE looks at CHEF with a horrified look.

ALL VILLAGERS: GROSS!

VILLAGER 16: No wonder you stink!

CHEF: What do you mean?! I wash my clothes once a week!

VILLAGER 17: but….if you only have one pair of clothes, what do you wear when they’re in the
wash?

CHEF: Nothing! I let it all hang free mate.

ALL VILLAGERS: Eeeeewwwww! You’re gross! That’s horrible etc etc

FACTORY MANAGER: Come on guys, back to factory! The emperor has put in another order.

SECRETARY 1: Nice to see he’s putting our tax dollars to good use….

SECRETARY 2: NOT!

ALL VILLAGERS shake their heads and leave – hanging up any left over clothes on the racks on
the way,

SISSY: (excited) hey Mum I’ve got some great news! I know what I want to be! I’ve chosen my
dream job!

CHEF: Another one?! Gee you change jobs more than the Emperor changes his outfits!

SISSY: Not true!

MAID, CHEF & NANNY: Is true!

NANNY: What about your career as a hairdresser? That lasted about a week!

SISSY: well….I got fired for cutting off that lady’s ear… it was an accident!

CHEF: And then you were a baker – for about four days!

SISSY: The early mornings were really hard!

MAID: What about your career as a dog walker?

SISSY: Dogs hate me! I got bitten six times in one day! I had to quit!
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CHEF: Then you tried to be a beautician – look how that turned out!

SISSY: It’s not my fault that lady’s eyebrows fell off…it was the chemicals in the face cream!

NANNY Silences SISSY with a wave of her hand

NANNY: Hang on, Sissy - What on earth are you wearing?! You look ridiculous!

SISSY: That’s what I was going to tell you about – I’ve decided I’m a born fashion designer!

CHEF, NANNY SNOTTY & MAID burst out laughing

CHEF: Sissy you’d be a terrible fashion designer!

SISSY: What are you talking about?! Look at this outfit I threw together today! Isn’t it awesome?

MAID, CHEF, SNOTTY & NANNY: NO.

NANNY: You look like something out of a Dr Suess book!

CHEF: It looks like a unicorn threw up on you.

SISSY: You guys don’t know anything about fashion. (to the audience) I look fabulous don’t I?!

(wait for audience response)

NANNY: Enough mucking around all of you! It’s that stupid Emperor! He’s brainwashed my dumb
daughter to think fashion is a worthy career! Ooooh that spoilt little brat! He hasn’t got the brains to
be Emperor!

(The Emperor enters, but NANNY doesn’t notice)

NANNY: He’s a useless , selfish lump! Wasting all the taxpayers money on stupid clothes that
make him look like a turkey! I wish he’d crawl in a hole and stay there!....What an absolute idiot!
….He’s behind me isn’t he?

MAID, CHEF, SNOTTY & SISSY: (awkwardly) Yep.

EMPEREOR: Nanny.

NANNY: (turning and trying to win him over) Yes my sweet wonderful boy?

EMPEROR: Have all my clothes arrived yet?

NANNY: I sure hope so! (gesturing to the clothes racks) Look at all those clothes! You could stock
the Salvos for a decade with all that lot!

EMPEROR: (browsing the clothes selection) No….erugh!...no…no…boring!....yuck!....not cool

enough…..no, no NO! They’re just not fabulous enough! Mummy said I had to look FABULOUS!
I’ll need to order more.

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MAID: Haven’t you spent enough money sir?

EMPEROR: Oh yeah you’re right, I’ve spent all the tax money already….that’s OK I’ll just put the
taxes up AGAIN! I’ll be back Nanny! (He rushes off)

CHEF: This is NOT going to go down well with the villagers…

BLACK OUT

*DIRECTOR’S TIP* If you have no stage lights, cue Track 3 as

scene change music. During the music, remove the throne &
mirror but leave the racks – you have now transformed the
stage in to the clothes factory!

SCENE 2: GRUMPY VILLAGERS

CUE TRACK 3: I Need a Dollar by Aloe Blacc (excerpt)

The VILLAGERS enter the factory as WORKERS & do a (optional) dance as
they “work”

ALSO OPTIONAL TO USE KARAOKE TRACK and have strong singers sing the
song in the microphone. Otherwise, just use the standard track as scene
change music or dance music.

SOLOIST ONE & TWO (singing): I need a dollar dollar, a dollar is what I need

ALL VILLAGERS/WORKERS: Hey hey

SOLOIST ONE & TWO (singing): Well I need a dollar dollar, a dollar is what I need

ALL VILLAGERS/WORKERS: Hey hey

SOLOIST ONE & TWO (singing):

said I need dollar dollar, a dollar is what I need
And if I share with you my story would you share your dollar with me
Bad times are comin' and I reap what I don't sow

ALL VILLAGERS/WORKERS :Hey hey

SOLOIST ONE & TWO (singing): Well let me tell you somethin' all that glitters ain't gold

ALL VILLAGERS/WORKERS: Hey hey

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SOLOIST ONE & TWO (singing): It's been a long old trouble long old troublesome road
And I'm looking for somebody come and help me carry this load

FACTORY MANAGER: Come on everyone! Hurry it up! The Emperor wants these clothes by
nightfall and if we’re late it’ll be my head on the chopping block! (he snaps his fingers and THE
SECRETARIES give him more coffee)

SECRETARY 1: What was wrong with the last order?!

SECRETARY 2: We worked hard on that!

FACTORY MANAGER: The clothes weren’t “fabulous enough” apparently

ALL WORKERS groan and moan in disapproval, shaking their heads in disbelief.

WORKER 1: Oi Boss! We better be getting paid overtime for all this work!

ALL WOKERS; Yeah! Darn straight! Absolutely etc!

WORKER 2: Think of all that extra money!

FACTORY MANAGER: well actually –

WORKER 3: (interrupting) Think of the holidays we can go on!

FACTORY MANAGER: But –

WORKER 4: (interrupting) wax up the surfboards guys! We got a tropical holiday coming up!

CUE TRACK 4 – Suring USA by The Beach Boys (Cue “tropical holiday
coming up!”)
OPTIONAL short Song & Dance – or movement/action to music. Workers get our Hawaiian shirts
& leis etc celebrating & preparing for their holiday. The song is cut short by the Factory Manager

FACTORY MANAGER: Guys! Listen! We aren’t getting paid overtime!

ALL WORKERS: WHAT?!

FACTORY MANAGER: The Emperor hasn’t even paid for the last order yet! Who knows when he
will pay for this one!

ALL WORKERS: (even louder) WHAT?

EMPEROR Enters.

EMPEROR: Good day lowly peasants! I hope you’re all working hard on my order. Just thought I’d
drop by to let you know that I’m upping the taxes again – ta-ta! (turns to leave)
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ALL WORKERS: (louder again) WHAT?!?!

EMPEROR: The taxes, I’m putting them up again. How else will I pay for all those clothes you’re
making? Helllooooo! Use your brains peasants!

WORKER 6: Soooo….you’re taxing even more of our money to pay for YOUR clothes?

EMPEROR: Yep!

There is a moment of stunned silence.

ALL WORKERS: Oh hell no!

The workers let out an angry cry and chase THE Emperor off stage and in to the audience. During
the chance, the throne & mirror is replaced to transform the stage in to the palace again. NANNY,
MAID, CHEF & SISSY enter – they are still sorting clothes from the last order

EMPEROR runs on stage. He is terrified.

EMPEROR: Help me Nanny! Help me!

(he runs and hides behind Nanny as the villagers enter shouting angrily)

VILLAGER 1: Where is that evil Emperor?

NANNY: He’s not here.

FACTORY MANAGER: Don’t lie for that idiot Nanny! Tell us the truth. Where is he?

NANNY: I told you, he’s not here. (trying to distract them) LOOK OVER THERE! (she points to the
other side of the stage. All the Villagers look where she is pointing and THE EMPEROR takes the
opportunity to sneak behind the villagers)

FACTORY MANAGER: You can’t fool us Nanny! We know he’s here somewhere!

THE SECRETARIES: Why don’t’ you ask the audience boss?

FACTORY MANAGER: Who?!

VILLAGER 2: That huge crowd sitting right infront of us. Surely they saw him,

THE SECRETARIES: Let’s ask them, boss!

FACTORY MANAGER: Alright I will! (to the audience) Is the Emperor on stage right now?

Wait for response (“he’s behind you!”)

THE SECRETARIES: Where is he?

Wait for response

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FACTORY MANAGER: I think they said he is behind us!

VILLAGER 3: Well we don’t want him to know we are coming!

VILLAGER 4: Yeah! We must be sneaky!

FACTORY MANAGER: Yes! We will sneak up on him! Then we’ll show him who is boss! Follow
me!

All the villagers sneak in a big circle around the stage looking around. THE EMPEROR follows
behind them. They go in a big circle and end up back where they started – with THE EMPEROR
still behind them.

FACTORY MANAGER: (to the audience) You lied to us!

THE SECRETARIES: (to the audience) Where is The Emperor?

Wait for response

FACTORY MANAGER: They said behind us again! (to the audience) Alright we will take one
more look! Follow me everyone!

All the villagers sneak in another big circle around the stage looking around. THE EMPEROR
follows behind them. They go in a big circle and end up back where they started – with THE
EMPEROR behind them.

FACTORY MANAGER: (to the audience) You lied to us again!!

MAID: Oh my goodness I can’t stand this any longer! (She strides us to the FACTORY MANAGER
and physically turns him around so he can see THE EMPEROR) He is right there!

ALL VILLAGERS: There he is!

VILLAGER 5: I’m gonna beat him to death with my shovel!

ALL VILLAGERS: Yeees!

VILLAGER 6: I’m gonna stab him with my pitchfork!

ALL VILLAGERS: Yeees!

VILLAGER 7: I’m gonna bake him in a pie and eat him!

ALL VILLAGERS: Yeeeee – oh! (they look at Villager 7 in shock)

VILLAGER 8: That’s a bit excessive Julie!

VILLAGER 9: Well something needs to change or The Emperor is going to take a long walk off a
short pier!

(The Emperor shrieks in fear and runs off)

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NANNY: (shaking her head) Heart of a lion that boy! (to the villagers) Now what’s got all your
knickers in a knot?!

VILLAGER 10: The Emperor has put up the taxes again!

VILLAGER 11: That’s twice today! I can barely afford to feed myself!

VILLAGER 12: I’ve had to sell everything I own just to pay my tax bill!

ALL VILLAGERS: Me too! It’s not fair! I’ve got nothing left etc etc

CHEF: Look guys, cool your boots! He’s new! He’s just getting used to his new job that’s all. I’m
sure he’ll get better – won’t he Nanny.

NANNY: Probably not.

Suddenly THE EMPEROR reappears – followed by 2 short, young and cute security guards
wearing sunglasses. They stand next to him with their arms folded and with serious faces.

EMPEROR: Right you peasants! That’s enough! You have to do as I say or…or…or Mummy said
I’m allowed to execute you!

ALL VILLAGERS react in shock

EMPEROR: It’s true! Mummy said I can execute anyone who steps out of line. I’ve got the two
toughest security guards in all the land and they WILL squash you like a bug if I tell them to! Does
anyone else have any death threats for me?

(THE EMPEROR glares at the villagers as the security guards rub their fists menacingly. THE
VILLAGERS look at the floor)

EMPEROR: Now that’s more like it! (Starting to pace up and down infront of the villagers) I have
some very important guests coming to visit tomorrow – the Emperor’s from neighbouring kingdoms
wish to meet me. I want to host a fashion show to show off! And I will be the model. The clothes
you have made me so far are not good enough!

NANNY: Surely there is something in that collection you can wear! Let’s try some on!

EMPEROR: No! They aren’t fabulous enough! I need someone to make me THE BEST outfit in
history. Who will volunteer?

There is silence. The Villagers all hastily step away and look anywhere but at THE EMPEROR.
SISSY tries to put her hand up. NANNY yanks it back down. SISSY tries to put up her other hand
but CHEF yanks it down.

EMPEROR: Anyone?!

SISSY: Me! Me! Pick me!

Sissy steps forward excitedly but trips and falls into the villagers who all fall over like dominoes!

ALL VILLAGERS: Sissy!

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SISSY: Sorry guys sorry! (getting back up) I’ll do it Emperor! I’m a fashion designer!

EMPEROR: YAY! What experience have you had? What have you designed?

SISSY: Uh… nothing.

EMPEROR: Nothing?!

NANNY: She means she hasn’t designed anything you’ve heard about Emperor! But my Sissy is
actually very, very famous in…in…in

(The following 3 lines are spoken at the exact same time):

MAID: Bulgaria CHEF: China SNOTTY: Sweden

MAID: I mean China CHEF: I mean Sweden SNOTTY: I mean Bulgaria

EMPEROR: (suspicious) Are you trying to trick your new Emperor?

EVERYONE: No! (standing up very stiff and still)

EMPEROR: You better not be! Or my security guards will make you wish you’d never been born! I
want THE BEST outfit in history ready for tomorrow morning. Oh and by the way, the taxes are
going up again to pay for the fashion show.

ALL VILLAGERS: What?! Again? You are can’t do that? Etc etc

THE SECURITY GUARDS steps forward menacingly and all the VILLAGERS fall silent.

EMPEROR: So get to work peasants! I’m going to go write a letter to Mummy to tell her the good
news!

THE EMPEROR stomps off.

THE SECURITY GUARDS glare at them all then turn to follow THE EMPEROR. ALL THE
VILLAGERS breathe a sigh of relief and stop standing so straight. Suddenly THE SECURITY
GUARDS turn back around and THE VILLAGERS all snap back up to standing straight. THE
GUARDS do the “I’m watching you” fingers sign, then stomp off. THE VILLAGERS sigh and slump
again.

VILLAGER 5: What were you thinking Sissy?!

VILLAGER 6: You have NO idea how to design clothes!

NANNY: She wasn’t thinking! That’s the problem! Typical Sissy!

SISSY: This is my big opportunity Mum! I’m not going to blow it! I’m going to sew him the best
outfit ever!

CHEF: Have ya ever sewed before?

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SISSY: No but –

MAID: Do you even know what a needle is?!

SISSY: Ofcourse I do! I get my flu jab every year!

THE VILLAGERS all groan at how dumb SISSY is.

VILLAGER 7: Not that kind of needle Sissy! A sewing needle!

SISSY: A what?!

SNOTTY: You’ve got one she can borrow hey Uncle?

CHEF: (picking his nose as he speaks) Sure do! We use a nice big one to sew up the turkey’s
bum every Christmas! That’s the trick to keeping the stuffin up there ain’t it Snotty?

J WE HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS PREVIEW! J

(The final script is 27 pages long)
Should you wish to perform this play, get in touch via [email protected]

LICENSING INFO: In order to perform this script you must

purchase a license.
There is a flat rate license fee of $69.95 AUD. This flat rate fee entitles you to perform this show as
many times as you wish in one calendar year. Should you wish to repeat the performance in a
different calendar year, a new performance license must be obtained.

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Use of the suggested music is optional. You can cut out the music entirely or add your own. You
will need to source the music tracks yourself. You can do this easily on Apple Music, iTunes,
YouTube and similar. Please source music legally.

In Australia, the use of music in public school-produced performances is covered by a blanket DOE
license. To ensure you fall within the limits of this license see the following document:
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and ensure you comply.
Any questions? Feel free to contact me anytime! J [email protected]
Perusal Copy Only – Not to be performed without obtaining license from SCRIPTED Drama
Perusal Copy Only – Not to be performed without obtaining license from SCRIPTED Drama