FTNDING A NnME

"S7HAT's My NAME, Mommy?" I, Pooh, was ten years

rl old and curious.
"You know what your narne is." My mother's face
was beautiful, but it was thin and there was a little
frown on her forehead as she looked at me.
"No, I mean my REAL name) not my nickname."
"You don't have a real name."
"\flhy not? Everybody else has a real name."
"Because, when you were born, you were such a
perfcct baby girl that your father and I could not find
a name perfect enough for you. \We decided ro let
you choose your own."
I was not surprised My parenrs often said that
I was a "perfect" child. It irritated me but I was used
to it. It was very hard being perfect and do every-
thing my parents expected me ro do, especially since

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 ll,rrrLrr'()() l rN Ilrnr, A W't;nr.rr \X/nt lI Clrrrr.r)rr()()l)

t lrcy ry seldom told rne what that was-it seemed

ve being sure no wax would drip on the thin, wispy
l)rgcs
ls if'Iwas supposed to know what was the thing to of the old dictionary as I knelt over it on rhe lloor-.
do, without being told. Outside the cicadas were buzzing and a dog barkccl
At first they had called me Poodle bccause my nose down the street. The candle light sent shadows up
turned up like a poodle dog's, they said. As I grew along the soot-stained walls of the room, and the small
my name became Pooh because the Winnie-the-Pooh words on the pages quivered and flickered. I startcd
stories were my favorites and, Iike Pooh Bear, I loved with the lt's, one by one. I knew what I was looking
sweets. for-a name that meant pirates and ships, sails roaring
The idea of choosing my own real nanre was across the stormy oceans. I wanted to go to sea. I
exciting! I chased after my mother, who had turned wanted to be a pirate!
and was u'alking down the hall. I was excited and in a hurry-I looked for all the
"\(/here can I find a book of names?" capital letters, skipping quickly over boys' names like
"Look in the dictionary. There are lots of names AAron, and strange names llke Abd-el-Kadir, until I
there. " came to the first girlt name-Abigail. k sounded
I ran up to my fhtherk desk. Carefulnot to disturb pretty. I tried to think how it felt to be Abigail. It
the papers, small tins of paper clips, his pipe stand, didn't feel right. Besides, it didn't have anything to
and rubber bancls about the desk, I stood on his chair do with pirates. I read on, running my finger down
and reached across the table for the big, heavy dic- the pages. Nothing in the At, although I stopped for
tionary. My father could not see very well, especially a while to think when I got to Arc, Jeanne d'. Joan of
at night, and it would make him very angry if anyone Arc. How often I had gazed at the picture ofJoan of
moved anything, even an inch to one side, fronr where Arc in one of my books-she was ried to a post, about
he had put it. He knew where eve rything was on that to be burned up, with her face looking toward the
desk. sky. She seemed so brave. But no one would call me
It
was getting dark in the room; there were no "Arc." T'hey would call me "Joan," and that wor.rld
electric lights. It was \World \Var II in the Philippines, not do at all. This was going to take me all night, ancl
and the country was under occupatioll by the Japanese I knew that my fbther wouldn't let me wasre candles.
Army. I took a candle in its bottle and lit it carefully, He would say "tWhy can't it wait until tomorrow?"

14 r5
 A \7orrr.rr V/nn ll Clrtr r)rr()()t)

But I couldn'1y12i1-f had to have my nanre thar night.

I got to rhe B's and found it-BARIIARA,
feminine af barbaru.i, foreign, srrange. As I read thc
words, I knew this was me. Barbarian seemed almosr
the same thing as pirate. "Foreign, strange" would
explain why I was nor like other children, why they
threw stones and mud at me, why they yelled ar me,
" Mestisong bangtts, madaling
maubos!'which literally
translated means "you hallwhite fish, quickly earen
up" and is meant to be derogatory. My farher was
Filipino, but my mother was lrish-English and had
grown up first in British South Africa and then in the
United States of Arnerica. I was half white, and
because of that, a foreigner, a stranger in my own
country. It did not help marters that I hardly ever
wore a dress, mostly shorts or overalls and a cotton
shirt, and did not behave in a way that little Filipino
girls were supposed to behave.
My family seemed diffbrent from the other families
around us. One difference was thar we didn't have
any relatives. Other children seemed to have grand-
parents, uncles, aunts, and cousins around. But not
I knew what I utas lookingfor-o name that meaTtt us. M1. morher's father lived in Canada, but he did
pirates sailing across tlte seas. not wanr to have anything to do with us; he hadn't
liked the idea of my mother marrying someone who
had brown skin. Vhen she did, by eloping to the
Philippines with my father, he never communicated

l6 r7
 ll /\ rr t.t l; () ()'l' r N F i t{ ri A \7<rnr_r> V/an ll Ctttt.t)tt()()l)

with her again. I often wished I had relatives; I smoking his pipe, my five-year old brother aslcc1,,,t'
thought that the word "cousin" had the nicest sound. my mother's lap. Mv 8-year-old sister, Snufly, rv,rs
Another way our family was differenr was that we sitting on the top step holding her cat.
didn't belong to any religion. In the Philippines most The mosquitoes attacked me immediately-thcy
people are Catholics. Almost everyone went to church were worse out here than inside the house-but I was
on Sundays and knew how to pray rhe Rosary. Once, used to them.
I asked my father utltat we were, since we weren't "I found my name," I announced.
Catholics. He said we were "freethinkers." I didn't "\(/hat name?" my sister asked.
know what that meanr excepr that we didn't go ro "My real name. I want my real name to be
church and we didn't pray. BAITBARA."
The biggest difference about our family was that "\7hy Barbara?" askcd my mother.
my mother was a "white" woman, and we children "Because it means barbarian, like a pirate."
were called "mestizo" (mixed race). This was not a good "It's a nice name," said my mother. Everyone was
thing to be in the Philippines unless you were rich, quiet after that. Maybe everyone was thinking. I wasnt
which we weren't. I wasn'r usually bothered by our thinking-I was just feeling proud and all puffed up.
family being different excepr when other kids would After a while rny mother said, "Could I add some-
call me names or throw srones at me. My father said thing to your name? A long time ago there was a lady
that people of mixed races were often more intelligent who was very nice to me; I thought the world of her.
than other people, and that persons who married into She is a doctor and lives in San Francisco, in California.
their own families had stupid children. I didn't know Her name is Ann Purdy" it would make her very h"ppy
whether to believe hirn or nor, but sometimes when to know that you have her name. Can you add Ann
he said it I would feel better. after Barbara?"
Barbara-strange, fbreign. I had found my name. I sounded it in my head: Barbara Anz. lt sounded
I put the dictionary back exactly where it had been very nice. It sounded like the two names were meant
on my father's desk, blew our rhe candle, and found to go together.
my way in the dark to the front porch. My parents I was feeling very expansive-"Yes, that can be my
were sitting in the wicker chairs-my father silently name.t'

i8 19
 llntrt.t;()()'l tN Ft trr,

Ancl so it was. Some years later it became legal

when I had to have a passport. The passport was my
nrotht:r's and had her name on it-Doreen Barber
(lamboa. Also on the same passport was Snuf$r's real
name, Phylita Joy, and my brother's name, Spencer 2
Comte. My sister had been named after my father,
Felipe (my mother called him Philip). My brother was
named after tlvo philosophers, Herbert Spencer and CT_IICKE,NS AND CuILDRE,N
Auguste Comte, but we all called him Trotsky because
my father said he was "very revolutionary." There had
been a Russian named Leon totsky who had helped
lead Russian workers in a revolt against the Russian Mv p,cngNls coNSIDERuo themselves to be "leftists."
Czar around 1917 , and was later assassinated. My This didn't rnean that they were left-handed. As far
father greatly admired Leon Trotsky. as I could tell, this meant that they wanted to change
Pooh, Snuffy, and Trotsky-odd nicknames for the world so that there would no longer be any poor
children. After I had grown up, I read in a book that people or rich people-everyone would have the same
"a nicknamed child is a loved child." Our parents must amount of money for what they needed. This made
have loved us very much. great sense to me but I didn't understand why ir wasn'r
that way already. My father would rry ro explain it to
me but it was too complicated and I didn't pay very
much attention when he was doing his explaining. I
was more interested in his chickens and in all the stuff
he had in his boxes.
My father's study was filled with tins and small
boxes of things such as paper clips, rubber bands,
metal washers and rusty screws, old keys, string, wire,
and pieces of shoe leather (a "tongue" cut from an

20 21
 ll.rnnFO()'l'tN Fttrl

Many afternoons after that, I

waited for the
Japanese officer to come back and listen to me play.
But he never did.

10

Tnp S pv

'fur
bu't camps in some of the fierds
Jar eNEsn Anrrav
around our neighborhood;
t'h"y built stor-afe
areas for gasoline, oil
drums, "lro
;ig crares of army
""e
'supplies' Sentries arways warked
these areas, which were "*ra the edges of
surrounded by barbed wire.
ln one field, Korean soldiers
pl""r;; vegetables; they
would not allow any people
n.", th" vegetable fiel<I,
which. was also gu"rd.j
Vy L*., and I would
somerimes take walks in
the evenings along rt ..o"a.
llcside the camps and srorag.,;;:"

, .t: was always cooler ourlid. in the evenings than

irrside our house, so the
family;";i; sir out on the
porch, slap at mosquitoer,
*"r.h the srars conre
orrr. SnufTy and I would look "rj for
the first star and
ttrake a wish. She and I
would
the .sky, waiting for shooting "k; ; ep our eyes orl
srars.
80 8l
 A V/otrr.tr \7,tt Il (lnlt.t)ll()()L)

Some evenings my father would get up from his

wicker rocker where he had been smoking his pipe,
lrnd say to me, "Let's go for a walk, Big." He called
rne "Big" because I was his biggest child. Another
narne my father called me was "oo-sa," the word in
the dialect (usa) for "deer." He said it was because
sometimes I looked like a frightened deer. I had never
seen a deer except in pictures, but he had seell many
of them when, as a young man, he had worked as a
lumberjack and cook in the forests of Oregon.
My father couldn't see at night because he had
"night blindness," an eye disease. During our walks,
every time we passed the Japanese camps and storage
areas, I knew he would want me to count the tents,
and the oil drums stacked up, and the crates. FIe also
wanted me to remember where the piles of tires rn'ere
stored and where the trucks were parked. F{e didn't
want me to tell him out loud about all this; I was just
to keep everything in my head.
\7hen we got back home \.'e would sit at the
dining room table in the lamplight, and I would tell
him the list from my head while he wrote it down
Snffi and I tuoulcl leeep our e.yes on the sh1, on a piece of paper using a code. I knew what this
waiting fo r h ooting stars.
s was for. My father was a member of "Marking's Guer-
rillas," a group mostly of men who lived in the moun-
tains of Rizal province. Every so often, at night, some
of them would quietly enter the Japanese camps all

82 83
 A \i/rttrt-t> or)(/,tn II (lrrtt I)il()()l)
R'rt<tlF()()'l t N ljt l<t'

gasoline and was going on. I was too late."fhe person had gotttr,
over the province ancl try to blow up the
but my father was getting dressed and my mother was
oil drums and other siored material (this stealthv
"sabotage")' packing a small bag with solne liood. She was tcllilg
destruction of enemy property is called
mv father, "Take Pooh with you, you will neve r find
lb do this, the g.r"rrili"' needed information on the
much of it your way in the dark."
exact locations-of the material and how 'fake Pooh u/tere? I was
setting excited.
there was. lt was my fither's job to collect
this
the "No," my father said, "l won't have to gtt, vou'il
information from the camps in our area' Because
Japanese sentries in
our neighborhclod knew about see.tt
My parents were in their bedroom, and I watched
*y f"rh.r's night blindness, they didn't pay any as my father opened a bottom drawer where mv
to him and his little daughter who guided
"tt..ttio,-,evening walks' tWe walked slowly because mother kept her nightgowns: he took out something
him on
to count heavy wrapped in a white canvas. I knerv what it was.
he couldn't see, w'hich gave me more time
everything was" It was his gun. I had for"rnd it in that drawer sometime
and, remember rvhere
loud ago, but had not told an1'one; I just put it back.
Some nights I would wake up hearing
from the "Phil, don't take that! lf they catch you with it, it
explosions oid -.r.h commotion coming
will be worse!" My mother sounded worried. My
direction of the camps' and I knerv some guerrillas
work' The father said he was just checking it; he knew he would
had gotten through io do their sabotage
not need it. He put the gun back in the drawer. They
,t.*r"<'l"y *. .,rnid see srnoke still r:ising from
the
both turned and saw me standing in the doorrvay.
burning camps' ancl we were glad' If the smoke
was
My rnother said" "Put on your clothes, Pootr--you
thick Jr,,a t,i".t , we knew it was oil or gas.li^e
my may have to lead your firther down the trapdoor and
burning. I never knew until the war ended hor'v
in outside the back way."'Ihere was a trap door in mv
father io, th" information to the guerrill;i units
me to ask' parents' bedroorn that was covered with a srnall rug
tl-,., ,r-to-u,',tains. lt never occurred to
()ne night someone came to our house' I was in with a chair on it; the door opened down to my sloping
asleep' bedroom. \(/e never used the trap door because there
my rootlr .l"o*nrt"i,, under the house' almost
were no stairs. If an1'6ns tried to get down it, thcv
*h.n I heard the noise upstairs' I got up' went out-
into our house to see what would have to ju*p through ihe door onto the slopine
sic{c ancl up the stone
"tp'
85
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 B,rtr.:l;()() l r N Ilr trn A \W()nr_rr \X/nn ll (lrrrr.r)u()()r)

floor below. I went back to my room and changecl After the war ended, my fatl-rer tolcl me about thosc
out of nly pajamas into some clothes. I was very two days. The person who carried the code about the
excited, but also a little scared. Where were ue going? Japanese camps and storage areas from my ltather to
whv? the guerrillas hacl been an 18-year-old girl named
All night we sat in the dark in the living room, Nene. The night that I had been awakened was wlten
waiting...I didn't know fbr what. I fell asleep in my a man came to tell m)' father that Nene had been
chair several times. Finally it was morning, and I woke caught by the Japanese and that they were making
up-still in tl-re chair. Mv parents were in the kitchen her tell them the names of all her contacts in all the
fixing coffee. It wasn't really coffee-it was dried corn neighborhoods. The man had corne to tell my father
that had been roasted and pounded into pieces, and to get away as fast as he could. But my father had
nrixed with some kind of tree bark. But my parents been very sure that Nene would never reveal the
fixed it like coffee, called it coffee, and drank it like names of the people, like my father, who had given
coffee. i went into the kitchen and they smiled at me. her information, no matter what the Japanese did to
They gave me some coffee in a cup, and this surprised her. He was right. Nene never told, and she was killed.
me because I had never been allowed to have coffee That was why my father was crying two days later
before. I tasted it carefully, and it was very bitter. I when he was told about it. I never knew or even saw
didn't like it very much and drank only a little. Nenc, but I know she must have been very, very brave.
For the next two days my parents still seemed to
be waiting for something or someone. My mother said
not to go too far from the house except to get water
from the artesian well. -fhen a man came to visit them,
and they talkcd quietly in the living room for a while.
Aftcr thc m:rn left, rny father told me that everything
was all right, that we wouldn't have to go an1'where,
just like he had said. But he seemed very sad; I could
almost sec the tears in his eyes. I wanted to know what
hacl happe ned, but knew better than to ask.

86 87
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storchouse where the Japanesc I'rad l<cpt secl<s and s:rcks

of rice \ .as torn open, and peoplc wcre crushing in to
take away as much ricc as thcy cor-rlcl. In the Philip-
pines, ricc is the mosr important lbod ar-rcl no one
T4 had had hardly any rice for a long time .
I was overcome with excitement. My parents told
"HELLo, Jon! r.rs to stay indoors, although there was only sporadic

gunfire. I couldn't understand why my father wasn'r

CHocoLATE, JoE!" running out to the warehouse to get rice like every-
body else.
"Daddy, let's go and get some rice!" I was running
back and forth from the front porch to his chair.
He walked with me to the front door to watch the
I'r was A cr.oRrous oay in 1945 when the U.S. Army's people running along rhe road. He said, "T'he worse
lst Cavalry roared inro our neighborhood in huge tanks thing you could ever do is to take anything that does
and trucks. \7e knew they were coming because not belong to you. The rice does not belong ro us.
gunfire and strafing by American airplanes around 'fhose people are looting." I was suddenly subdued.
us had been nonstop for several days. People said the I couldn't understand-if it was wrong to take the
Americans had liberated, the town of San Juan; they rice, why were all our neighbors doing it?
were shooting their way into our foothills along with It wasn't always easy to know what was right or
the guerrillas who had come out of the mounrains ro what was wrong. Once I was in a neighbor's house
join them. and walked into their dining room. No one else was
Some days before, all the Japanese and Koreans in the room, and there on the dining room table was
had suddenly left our neighborhood. \fhen that a bowl of bananas. I was very hungry, went up to rhe
happened, there was pandemonium. The people ran table, pulled a banana quickly off the bunch, and put
into the vegetable fields that the Koreans had guarded it in my pocket. Later outside, I peeled it and ate it
and ripped up all tire vegetables to take home. A big Fast, hoping no one had seen me. All the rest of the

110
 ?
I
Rntrr..r:()().1. r N F r lr.. A \X/otrt.tr \7nn Il (ittltl)ll()()l)

day I didn't feel very good. I knew I shouldn'r h:rr, oc!" Behind the tanks came huge brown trucks with
f
done what I did. \Mhy did I do it? That night I coultlr'r tt,t roofs, fiiled with U.S. Arml' soldiers carrying rifles,
get to sleep for a long time. I wanted to tell sorrlconr wuving and grinning at us, and throwing cigarettc
about what I had done. jumping up and
;,,rcks and other things to the people
The next morning, when no one else was arourr<l .lown along the road. Dust was everywhere, but no
I told my mother about it. I was crying. She put h,.r ()lle Cared.
arms around me and said, "If someone had sonr, Something fell in the road in front of me, thrown
bananas and didn'r offer one ro a srarving little gir.l,
by a grinningAmerican soldier. I picked it up quickly.
they deserve to have that banana taken! yo., dii{n', It was something wrapped in paper with brown
do anything wrong. Bur don't tell your father abour writing that said Hershey. My mother, standing next
this." I nodded through my rear.s. to me, said "Open it, Pooh, it's a chocolate bar!" And
My crying finally stopped, but I still clidn't fecl so it was. It was not like the Hershey bars around
good. I knew it was wrong to take the banana. \hi, today. It was narrower-about three centimeters
did my morher nor say so? I knew that my father wide, about six centimeters long, and about three
would say it was wrong, and he would be very angry centimeters thick, and divided into three equal
at me. That was why my mother didn't want him to sections. It was part of the Army's "D" rations, I late r
know-she didn't wanr him ro get angry. I also realizecl found out. My first D-ration Hershey bar' and the
that my mother truly did not believe that what I did taste of it on my tongue is something I have never
was wrong. But my fr"ther would have. \Which of thern
forgotten. Nothing else in this world has a taste and
was right? I knew then that I could never ask anyone
feeling compared to that.
else about right and wrong-from rhen on, I had
to From then on I ran after every U.S. Army jeep or
decide for myself. truck that came down our road yelling, "Hello, Joe!
The roar of the American tanks and trucks coming Chocolate, Joe!" Sometimes I'd get one' sometimes
up our road was one of the most exciting sounds I not. I also yelled for cigarettes because I remembered
have ever heard. All the people, including us, stood
that my mother liked to smoke. She liked Camels and
along the roads, waving and shouting and rcr.aming, Lucky Strikes. My father smoked the cigarettes' too'
"Hello, Joe!" and "Cigarette, ,,Chocol"t!,
Joe!" and but he preferred his pipe. He would tear open the

112 113
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A W'orrt.tr \X/,rrr ll (-tttt.l)ll()()l)

, ig,urette papcr and stufT the cigarette tobacco inttr

t hc bowl of his pipe .

After that day thercr wtis one excitement after

ilnother.'l'he lst Oavairy set up carrlp in the fields abotrt
,r l<ilonieter from our house. \7e kids in thc ncieh-
s lrorhood would spend every chance w-c got in rhe
camps. I was at a decided advantage, being able to
speak i:nglish. My mother had never learned nrore
tlran a few words of the nativc dialect, 'lhgaktg, so
we always spoke English at home. Outside my home,
Irowever, I spoke the dialect. Sometin-res when I
couldn't quicklv think of the right word in one lan-
guage, I d use a word fiom tl-re other langu:rge, almost
without knowing what I was doing. tVhenever my
father heard this, he would stop it. He insisted that
we not rnix up the two languages in the salne sentence
or even in the same conversation. He said if we
couldn't think of the right word in one la.nguage, it
was just laziness.
I got my first taste of Coca-Cola in the U.S. Armv
camp-there was a big barrel of it proppecl up above
From then on I rtn after et,ery U" S. Army jeep or trt/ck the ground and the barrel had a spigot. One soldicr
thrtt came t/ou,n our road ltelling, "Hello Joe! Chocolate [oe! " gave me a metai canteen and he showed me how to
open the spigot and get a thick black syrup into rny
canreen. He told me not to take too much of the svrup'
just a little, and then fill the canteen up the rest o{'
the way with water. It was delicious. It didn't havc

t l4 l15
 R,A.nirl()()'f I tt Ft trn A \)7oRt-t> V/,ru II (ltttLt)ll()()l)

the frzz that Coca Cola from a bottle had, and it was -fhc "sunshine" song went like this:
l)oats."
warm from sitting in the sun and being inside my
You are my sunsltine, my only sunsbine,
canteen all day, yet it was delicious. Sometimes I
You mabe me happy when shies are grd)/,
wouldn't add any water at all, but drink the syrup
Yau'll ne'uer knotu, dear, how much I loue you-
straight. It was better with water.
Please don't tahe my sunshine away.
Another camp was ser up for sick soldiers. k was
surrounded by barbed wire, and no one was allowed
The other night,dear while I lay sleeping
inside that camp. However, we were allowed to come
I dreamt I held you in my /trrms,
to the movies shown in that camp some nights. The
But when I woke up, I was Tni5YaPgn-
big movie screen was set up outdoors, about twenty
Please don't take my sunshine (tudy.
feet on the outside of the barbed wire fence. All the
soldiers, most of whom were wearing light blue
You are my sunshine, my only sunsltine,
hospital pajamas, sat inside the fence on benches
You mahe me happy uhen sbies are gra!,
facing the screen. The neighborhood people sat
outside the fence, on the ground between the fence
You'll neuer hnow, dear, /tow much I loue you-
Please don't take my sunshine (ilulzy.
and the screen. \(henever my parents let me go
(which was about one night a week), I would ger rhere
I would sing at the top of my lungs. The soldiers'
before the sun went down to pick the best spor.
voices would be the loudest of all. The people from
As soon as it got dark enough, the show would
the neighborhood wouldn't sing-they were impa-
begin. It always began with singing. Not many of the
tient for the movie to begin. But I loved the sing-
soldiers would be on their benches for the singing,
ing and was always sorry when it ended, although I,
but one by one the benches filled up. The words of
too, was eager for the movie to begin. My father never
the song were put on the screen, and there was a ball
carne to the movies, nor did he want my mother to
on the screen that bounced from word to word in
go. But once in a while she did. My mother loved to
time to the song being sung over the loudspeakers. I
sing, too. Her favorite song during those evening sing-
learned many American songs that way. The ones I
alongs was "Don't Fence N{e In."
liked best were "You Are My Sunshine" and "Mairsy
 [3,r lrtl't,()().1 r N Iit trt,. A \iTottt.tr'Wnrr l l (ltt l t-l)ll()()l)

Some of the soldiers in the camp wouid asli aborrr the Katzenjammer Kids. After the war, comic books
rny Iirnily" 'I'hey r.vanred ro know rvhy I sp.rke Englislr
such as Superman, Donald f)uck, Archie, arld
so well and didn't look "very Filipino." I explained rn
Captain Marvel came into otrr neighborhood from
them that my father was Filipino and my mc;ther i,v:rri the U.S. Army camps.
Irish who grcw up in Arnerica, in T.rac1'. (lalifornia. At the corner store the Chinese storekeeper, Mang
'l'hey wanred to mect my mother,
so I invired thcni to (lorio, had a rack of comic books outside that were
come to lny housc. My parents were always glad to not For sale br,rt coulcl be rented. T'he top racks had
see the soldiers. \X/hen my tnorher wasn't feeling too
the almost-new comic books that rented fc,r ten
sick, she would cook fr-ied chickcn for thern. \We kepi centavos, the middle racks had older comic books for
sonle nativcr chickens in our chicken coop for eggr five centavos, arnd the bottotn racks had really old
and hatching chicks. comic books, most of which no lclnge r had covers'
'fhe soldiers liked coming to our house to
visit an<l These could be rented for nvo centavos. \Ve kids
eat fried chicken. Sonretimcs my morher would makc:
in the neighborhood would periodically check the
chicken fr:icassce and dumplings for a change. 'fhe racks as we ran by the store to see whether the Super-
soldiers would always bring cans of C-rations, fruit man comic had made its u'ay down the racks. \fe
cocktail, and cigar:ctres for my parenrs. They would could never figure out how Mang Gorio decided
sit at our round blacl< table , covered with my mother'.s
when to move a comic book from the ten-centavo
lace tableclotir, listen ro my father rall<, and ear my rack to the five-centavo rack, or down tcl the twcl-
nrother's fried chicken. During those exciting da1,s,
centavo rack.
going to the well to keep our warel drum f,ull and If ,vou w-anted to rent a cou:tic book, you paid
doing all my other jobs around the house, made me Mang Gorio your money, picked out a conric book
impatient-l would nruch rather stay in the camps, from the rack, and sat down on one of the big stones
talk to the soldiers, and read their comic books. by the roadside to read it. C)fte n there were two or
Clomic books were a subject of argurnenr berween three kids looking at the same comic book. lvlang
rlr). parents and rne--I was not allowed ro reacl them.
Gorio did not object to this-he knew that many kicls
l]efbre the rvar rny father had read ro us some of the
did not have even one celttavo. He had a rule, thor:gh,
comics in the Sunday newspaper. I Ie especially liked
that you couldn't pass a comic book from one kicl ttr

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another. You had to read it together. None of us hat.l were "brain burners." \7hat this meant was that if
ever heard him say this rule but somehow we knew it. you read too many of them, your brain would become
Most of the kids could not read English but figured useless for anything else-all you would want to do is
out the story from the pictures. read comic books. This didn't sound very possible to
Inside Mang Gorio's store were brand-new comic me; I didn't see anything wrong in reading comic
books for sale. I didn't have money ro renr a comic books and I said so. But I didn't say I was reading
book very often, and certainly never enough to buy Mang Gorio's.
one, but once in a while if Mang Gorio was in a good One evening my mother came home with a paper
mood, he would let me read a brand-new comic book bag and handed it to me. Inside were two comic
for free, just before he would hang it on his For-Rent books. I pulled them out. They were brand new, crisp
rack. and smelling wonderfully. But I had never seen this
The first thing I did was ro open up rhe comic kind before. They were both "Classic Comic" stories
book and hold it to my face-I loved the smell of a from books that I'd already read. I liked them but
brand new comic book. But I was always careful not they weren't the same as Superman or Captain Mar-
to bend or wrinkle it. I never asked Mang Gorio to vel, my favorites.
let me read a comic book-sometimes, when I would Another night she came home with a "True
be at his store buying vinegar or candles or somerhing, Comics" about Joe Louis, a champion boxer in Amer-
he would nod his head at me and hand me a new ica; people called him the "Brown Bomber." He was
comic book. I never saw him do this with the other a real man rvho was still alive. I liked that comic book
kids, and he never did it when any orher kid was and read it over and over; I particularly liked the part
around. I think he liked me because I didn't call him where he knocked out Max Schmeling when no one
names or throw stones at the rvall of his store as some thought he could win. My father said that even these
kids did. comic books were "brain burners," but he let me keep
My parents would have been angry if they knew them because my mother had brought them. She
that I rented or read comics. One day I complained didn't bring any more home' however, and I
to my mother, asking her why other kids could read continued to read Mang Gorio's comic books and
comics but I wasn't allowed to. She said comic books those in the U.S. Army camPs'

1',20
 l].,irrr,r ()()'r rN Frtrr,. A \7otrt.t; \X./'rir ll (.tllll)ll()()l)

The American soldiers loved fried chicken. J'Lrt Mr. V/ong's (larclen, tht- qirls atrcl tlrc soltlicrs crrting
people in rhe neighborhood invired some of tht er the tables wr:re alrvavs IatrqhirlLl:rrrtl havilrg tt goocl
soldiers to their houses for fried chicken once in .r tinrc.
while . i gLress this gave one of our Chinese neighbors, One day, aiicr rhe lst (lavrllry hacl lelt ottt'
Mr. \X/ong, the idea of opening a restauranr scrvinq neighborhoo.l encl hac{ becrr replacer<1 by thc -}7th
fried chicken and other dishes. Mr. \Wong rook ove r lnfar-rtry, one olt my soldier friends Lranle to oLlr housc
an old burned our rwo-srorey building filled with lirr suppcr, bringing.rnodrer soiclie r rvith him. During
broken concrete and tall weeds. T'he neighborhoocl the conversatiol] with my parents, it turned out th:lt
kids used to play in that building because it had this soldier was r-rne of the grown children of a rvoman
concrete beams high above the ground. \il/e would in Clanada who had married nrv'granclfather' She was
climLr up to one of the beains and walk across ir, his third wi{e.
-l'hc
balancing carefully. It was scary and we would nor ler soldicr said his sLepfather (my granclfather)
the little kids do it. My sister would rhreaten to tell hacl said hc had a daughrcr living in the I'}hilippines
my parents but she never did because she knew thar but had lost touch with her and didn't know whar
I d get mad at her and wouldn't take her with me when had become of he r during tire war. My mother began
I d go places. to cry.'f he soldier h:rd us all stand outside in the front
\When Mr. Wong fixed the burned
building, wc yard and took a snapshot of us with his camera. ('fhat
could no longer plav rhere. He also built a fence with very snapshot is reproducecl on page 2 of this book')
the words " BAWAL PUMASOtr' ("NO TRES- FIe was very excited abor-rt writing to his stcplarher
PASSING") painted on a sign. Mr. -Wong hung pretty and sending him a picture ollts. lv4y mother wrote il
colored lanterns around the yard, and set out chairs letter to my grandfather, too, for the solclier to include
and tables at which tood was servecl. He put up a big in his le tte r. 'I.hat snapshot and letter were eventually
sign on the hor-rse that said "\7ong's Garden: Chinese to bring us to Anrerica, but we did not know it then'
and American Dishes." Every evening American ln the meantime, I would go throueh the best time,
soldiers came to have supper. Sornetimes they had and the worst time, of my twelvr: yelrrs.
older girls fi'om the neighborhood with them, and
whenever we kids would peer rhrough the fence of

t22 123
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A'i/oRI-u \X/an II Clltll.t)tl()()l)

At the end of the meal, the soldiers would rinse

out their kits at a faucet and file out of the yard. That
would be a signal for us kids to begin shoving and
jostling, climbing the fence and reaching over it with
L5 our tin cans. The sergeant's helpers would take our
cans, one by one, and fill them with food left over in
the pots. \(/e were always on the lookout for special
CUERRY PrE treats) such as cherry pie. It would not Inatter that
the pieces of pie were lumped on top of potatoes and
gravy, or ste% in our cans. There was never enough
cherry pie for every can. The biggest boys got their
THp ercc;Est'ATTRACTToN of the U.S. Army camps in cans over the fence first, and usually got the cherry
our neighborhood was food. One camp ser up its field pie. I wasnt very big and would hardly ever get cherry
kitchen in a rented house that had a very big back- pie in my can. After our cans were handed back over
yard, surrounded by a high wire fence. At breakfast, the fence, we would disperse into the neighborhood'
lunch, and supper, the soldiers in the camp would taking the precious food back to our homes for our
file into the yard and line up in front of big steaming families' next meal.
pots of food and a table loaded with bread and pies. One morning, nose to the fence with the other
An Army sergeanr and his helpers would ladle out kids as usual, waiting for breakfast to be over, I noticed
the food onto the metal mess kits held out by the that behind the steaming pots several soldiers were
soldiers. The soldiers would take their mess kits of food standing near some tables peeling potatoes for the
and sit around under rhe rrees in the yard. \We, the noon meal. I had an idea. I could get a job in that
neighborhood children, pressed against the outside field kitchen peeling potatoes.
of the fence, clutching rin cans with make-shift wire I dashed home with my can of scrambled eggs,
handles. Ve would srarr congregating at the fence combed my hair with water, put on a clean shirt and
long before meals were served, waiting and watching ran back to the field kitchen. Only a few soldiers were
the soldiers eat. working in the kitchen area. I went up to the sergeant'

t25
 B,rtrt r,()()'l tN FIliti

a vely big soldir:r wearing his olivc-drab unifor,ir

pants, boots, "f-shirt, and cap. I asked him if i coul,i
work in his kitchen; he wouldn'r have ro pav m(
moncy, just let me har..e some leftover food. He looketi
down at me, his hands on his hips. He seemcrl
surprised that I could speak such goocl Flnglish.
"\7hat kind of work can you do?" he asked me.
"I can peel potatoes," I answerccl. I hac{ nevrr
peelecl a potrro in rny life, but I had watched tht:
soldiers do it, i had seen cartoon pictures of Privatc
Dave l3reger doing it, and I had peelcd camores. i
was sure I could peel potatoes.
"LIow old are you?" he asked.
"-Eleven, " I ansrverecl.
"You look small lor eleven," hc said.
'"1'm strong and ] never eer sick," J saici.
He thought fbr a nrinure and then said, "O.K.
\bu can start by washing our rhose pc-rrs." He pointecl
to a pile of big metal pots beside thc yard faucet.
I began to rvork. I wrs in seventh heave n. I was
doing real work, and I rvas going ro get paid. All dav
was bliss. The sergeanr's helpers all talked ro me, thev
sholved me pictures of their families. I peeled potaroes
and chopped onions, rears srreaming down my face
lrom the onions and sniftling untilone of the soldiers "l m strong ,tnd I neuer get sich,"
gave rne his olive-drab handkerchieito blow my nose. I told the sergednt.
He told me to keep the handkerchief and I did-for

t )1
 1
:

B,q n p. l; () ().t. r N F r rr r,, A \Wont-p \7nn Il (lllrt,I)ll()()t)

years. At lunch time, I was all puffed up wirh pride as "Mommy, I have a job!" The sergeant saw her ar-rd
I helped ladle out the food to rhe soldiers, while th... r'illlle OVer tO US.
neighborhood kids at the fence stared ar me in silenc... "Ma'am," he said, "is this your little girl?"
(also envy, I suspected). After the soldiers had their "Yes," my mother answered.
lunch, and the leftovers had been distributed to rhc "Please, mdam, take her home. If the captain finds
kids at the fence, I sat down with the sergeanr and hi.s ()ut that I have a female in my kitchen" "" He shook
helpers under the trees and had lunch myself. Then, lr is head, not finishing his sentence. I listened with a
was no cherry pie that day, bur it didn't matter to rnr. sinking f'eeling in the pit of my stomach'
at all. I was totally happy. "Vity didn't you tell her yourselft" my mother
After lunch we cleaned up, and the sergeant ancl ,rsked him.
his helpers left for a resr. I stayed around the yard, "Ma'ant, when she looked at me with those big
cleaning everyrhing up better. Then it was tirne to cyes of hers and asked for a job, I couldn't say no'
prepare the evening meal, and all was busy again.'fhe l)lease take her home."
supper routine went much the same as lunch, excepr I didrit wait to see how the conversation ended,
that there were more kinds of food. The sergeant tolcl or notice that the sergeant had given my mother the
me to save our all the food I needed to take home ro box of food to take home. I ran out of that field kitchen
my family before the soldiers filed in. He gave rne and all the way home in the dark, tears stinging my
several cans to pur rhe food in so rhar they wouldn'r eyes. I was disappointed, but I was also angry' I think
be all mashed up rogerher. He also gave me a big I was more angry than anything else' It wasn't fair!
cardboard box for carrying home all the cans of food, \Why should it matter that I was a girl? I could do
and an unopened box of Milky \fay candy bars! the work even better than a boy couldl \7hy wasn't
After supper, it was gerring dark but rhere was I born a boy?
still cleaning up to do. While I was finishing the tWhen I got home, my father was waiting for me'
cleaning, I saw my morher come through the gate. furious that I had been gone all day without telling
\When I hadn't come home all day,
she had started anyone where I was, and getting home after dark' He
looking for me and one of the neighborhood kids was still lecturing to rne when my mother got back
told her where I was. I ran ro her, saying excitedly, with the box of food. I didn't think it would be any

t28 r29
 IJ,rRl1l;()()'t r N lr I tr.li

use to explain anyrhing to him. My rnother did, later..

Also larer, she told me rhat the sergeanr was sorry
he couldn'r Iet me work in his kitchen anymore, ancl
he said ttrat I had been a very good worker. She also
said he was inviting me ro have supper with him ancl r6
the soldiers in his kitchen the next evening, when they
would be having cherry pie. I did not go, nor did I
ever return to the fence with my can. I went to LTnuTENANT GEoRGE lxrtr-1,
another fence, in another camp, with anorher fielil
kitchen, although ir was much farther from my house.
I found our larer from the other kids that one of rhe
older boys fiom the neighborhoocl, one of rny worsr Fnort'r'ttt'. T'IMF,rvas six years old, I had been
I
enemies, was working as a helper in the sergeant's fascinated by flight. IVly mothe r had given me a book
kitchen.'fhat made me more angry. 'I-hey Blazed
irr the Christntas of 1940 called How
i didn't sray angry very long, however, because the Way: Men Who [Jaue Aduanted Ciuilization'
something else came into my life-a Piper Cub. byJ. \Xralker McSpadden. The book contained biogra-
phies of importaut people, starting with Hippocrates
ancl ending with \Tilber and Orville Wright' My
favorites were l-eonardo L)a Vinci, Thomas E'clison,
Madame Curie, and the \Wright brothers' Aftcr
finishing the book (which I reread many times over),
I decided to bec,tme an invcntcr who could fiy'
Once, when I was about seven years old' I took e
big urnbrella, ope ned it up and jumped from a small
balcony of our two-storey house in Manila' I hrl..l
visions of myself flr:ating gentlv to the ground, lil<e
the lVlontsolfier brothers and their gas-filled ballOOrr.

130 1:ll