UNITY AND SUBORDINATION

The fundamental qualities of an effective sentence are unity, coherence, emphasis, and
variety. Unity and coherence help to make a sentence logical and clear. Emphasis makes it
forceful, and variety lends interest. Usually every good sentence contains all these equally
necessary qualities of style.
Unity and Logical Thinking
A sentence is unified when all its parts contribute to one clear idea or impression. In such
a sentence, the thought and expression are one, and the parts unite to form a perfect whole.
However, a sentence lacks unity when it combines unrelated ideas, when it has excessive detail,
and when it is mixed, obscure, or illogical. Therefore, you should bring into the sentence only
related ideas and pertinent details. You should complete each thought logically.
1. Unrelated ideas should be developed in separate sentences. If the ideas are related, they
should be expressed in such a way that the relationship is immediately clear to the reader.
UNRELATED : Mr. Smith is my teacher and he has a large family.
IMPROVED : Mr. Smith is my teacher. He has a large family. [Ideas given equal importance]
Mr. Smith, my teacher, has a large family. [Unity secured by subordination of one
idea]
2. Excessive detail and clumsy, excessive subordination should not be allowed to obscure the
central thought of the sentence. Such detail, if important, should be developed in separate
sentences; otherwise it should be omitted.
OVERLOADED : When I was only five years old, living in an old village house, little of which
remains today, I could already walk the two miles that separated the house from
the railway station.
BETTER : When I was only five years old, I could already walk the two miles between my
house and the railway station. [If you consider other details important, you may
write another sentence to include them: I was living in an old village house,
little of which remains today.]
3. Mixed, obscure, or illogical constructions should be avoided. You should complete each
construction clearly and logically.
MIXED : Because he was sick caused him to stay at home. [Here an adverb clause, a part
of a complex sentence, is mixed with the predicate of a simple sentence.]
CLEAR : His sickness caused him to stay at home. [Simple sentence]
Because he was sick, he stayed at home. [Adverb clause retained, main clause
added to complete the complex sentence]
MIXED : To banish is where a person is driven out of his country. [Adverb clause misused
as a noun]
LOGICAL : To banish a person is to drive him out of his country.
One of the most important tests of good writing is the soundness of its reasoning; you should
make sure that all your sentences are well thought out and contain no slips or weaknesses in
your chain of reasoning.
Subordination as an Aid to Unity
The principle of subordination is of great importance in composition since it is one of the
best means of achieving sentence unity. The ability to differentiate between the main idea and
the dependent idea is also a mark of maturity. As we develop the power of expression, we avoid
short, choppy sentences, or a series of brief main clauses connected by “and” in favour of the
more precise complex sentence in which our ideas are properly subordinated. For example, a
child will express himself somewhat like this:
I walked down the road. I saw a bird. It was in a tree. It was singing. [Short, choppy
sentences]
At a slightly older age, the child might say:
I walked down the road, and I saw a bird, and it was in a tree, and it was singing. [A series
of brief main clauses connected by “and”]
A mature writer will express in the main clause of his sentence the idea he wishes to stress and
will subordinate all other ideas by reducing them to a subordinate clause, a phrase, or a word.
As I walked down the road, [subordinate clause] I saw a bird [main clause] singing [word]
in a tree. [phrase]
If singing of a bird is more important than the seeing of the bird, the sentence might read:
A bird was singing in a tree as I walked down the road.
Therefore, you should determine the most important ideas of the sentence and express it in the
main clause, and you should put lesser ideas in subordinate clauses, phrases, or words. You
should use coordination only for ideas of equal importance.
1. In general, a related series of short, choppy sentences should be combined into longer units in
which the lesser ideas are properly subordinated.
CHOPPY : This is a wreck. It was formerly the stately Industrial Exhibition Hall. It is
preserved deliberately as a reminder and symbol.
BETTER : This wreck, formerly the stately Industrial Exhibition Hall, is preserved
deliberately as a reminder and symbol.
2. Do not write and, so, or but sentences when one idea should be subordinated to another. Use
coordination only for ideas of equal importance.
WEAK : The weather was hot and I stayed at home.
BETTER : Because the weather was hot, [Subordinate clause] I stayed at home.
INEFFECTIVE : I had always wanted to go to college, and I had always wished to become a
tourist guide, and so I enrolled at STBA Sebelas April Sumedang.
IMPROVED : Because I had always wanted to enter college and prepare myself to become a
tourist guide, I enrolled at STBA Sebelas April Sumedang.
The conjunctive adverbs however, therefore, and consequently are often used in transitions
when subordination would be preferable. Main clauses linked by these conjunctive adverbs can
usually be combined and the proper relationship indicated by a subordinating conjunction.
Subordinating conjunctions express such relationship as cause (because, since), concession
(although), time (after, before, since, whenever, while, until), place (where), or condition (if,
unless).
COORDINATION : I became increasingly uneasy; however, I kept my seat.
SUBORDINATION : Although I became increasingly uneasy, I kept my seat. [Subordination
is usually better.]
COORDINATION : Ali knows almost nothing about farming; therefore, I do not expect
him
to enjoy much success.
SUBORDINATION : Since Ali knows almost nothing about farming, I do not expect him to
enjoy much success.
3. Do not place the main thought of the sentence in a subordinate clause or construction.
FAULTY : A cow kicked over a lantern, thus causing one of the world’s great fires.
BETTER : A cow caused one of the world’s great fires by kicking over a lantern.
FAULTY : When we have made a good soldier out of a rookie, he has learned how to
march, use his weapons, and respond to commands.
BETTER : When a rookie has learned how to march, use his weapons, and respond to
commands, we have made a good soldier out of him.
Emphasis
As our ideas vary in importance, so our expression should vary in stress. In most types of
writing, some sentences may be rearranged to achieve emphasis without sacrificing naturalness
of expression. Hence, you should select words and arrange the parts of the sentence to give
emphasis to important ideas. Emphasis may be gained through the subordination of less
important ideas. We may also emphasize ideas:
- by placing important words in the important positions at the beginning and end of the
sentence - especially at the end.
WEAK : The colonel will bluntly refuse, in all probability. [The weakest part of
the sentence is given the most emphatic position – the end]
EMPHATIC : In all probability the colonel will bluntly refuse. [Strong end]
- by changing loose sentences into periodic sentences. (A sentence in which the main
clause is either placed at the end or completed at the end is called periodic.)
LOOSE : Practice daily if you want to become a good pianist.
PERIODIC : If you want to become a good pianist, practice daily [More emphatic]

***
 Taken from Hodges, John C. and Whitten,
Mary E.. 1962. Harbrace College
Handbook. Harcourt, brace & World, Inc.