PART 3

The Accelerated Program for Six-Figure Copywriting

The Secret Structure of
Direct-Response Sales Copy
 Part 3 – Contents
The Secret Structure of
Direct-Response Sales Copy
A Quick Review: What You Should Know By Now.......................................................................3-1
The Myth of “You”… Two Powerful Principles of Selling Revealed.........................................3-5
The Myth of “Fear” and “Greed”… and What Really Makes Us Tick.....................................3-19
37 Copywriting Emotions...................................................................................................................3-20
It’s All About Benefits — Not Features.......................................................................................... 3-39
3 More Bonus Secrets.......................................................................................................................... 3-45
Enough Theory… Back to Basics! Revisiting the Basic Elements
of a Direct-Response Letter............................................................................................................... 3-50
Headlines — Grabbing Your Prospect By the Lapels............................................................... 3-62
Subject Lines — 10 Helpful Hints for Crafting an Effective Email Copy “Headline”....... 3-82
The Lead — Sinking the Hook Into Your Prospect.................................................................... 3-96
The Secret of Transubstantiation....................................................................................................3-113
Writing Sales Copy for the Web..................................................................................................... 3-120
The Architecture of Persuasion.......................................................................................................3-141
The Envelope “Teaser”: Enticing Your Prospect to Read Inside............................................3-218
Testimonials & Endorsements: Boosting Your Credibility..................................................... 3-233
Lift Notes: The Voice of Authority................................................................................................. 3-246
A Little Something Extra: The Secret Power of Premiums.................................................... 3-262
Putting It All Together: Polishing and Proofing........................................................................ 3-285
Suggested Reading & Resources................................................................................................... 3-301

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 Part 3
The Secret Structure of
Direct-Response Sales Copy

A Quick Review:
What You Should Know By Now
By Mark Morgan Ford

B efore we get down to business, let’s review a few things. By now,

you have a pretty good idea about what it’s like to be a part of
this wonderful world we call “direct marketing” or “direct-response
advertising”…

You know the benefits of being a direct-response

copywriter — the freedom you could soon have… the
money you could be making… the lifestyle you could enjoy.

You know the skills you need to be a copywriter — the

desire to sell… a basic ability to write… a dedication to the
craft… and the desire to never stop learning.

Part 3 3-1
 You also know what you don’t need to be a successful
copywriter — like academic degrees… a lot of start-up
money… or the literary stylings of a Hemingway or Nabokov.

You know the basics about how the direct-marketing industry works
— how you’ll be hired to write
a package that’s “test” mailed or
emailed against an existing “control”
promotion… how, when your “test”
letter beats the control, it becomes
the new control promotion… and
how other writers will then be
gunning to beat out your control.

You know that writing “controls”

is the secret to making a lot of
money in this business — and how,
when you’re the proud owner of one
(or several) controls, you not only
get paid for writing the letter, but
you might also get paid a royalty or
“roll-out” fee each and every time
your letter mails or emails.

3-2 Part 3
You know Mark Ford’s 3 fundamental rules about selling:

People don’t like the idea 2

of being sold.
People buy things for emotional, 3
not rational, reasons.

Once sold, people need to satisfy their

emotional decisions with logic.

You understand the fundamental principle of “Know Thy Prospect”

— that in the world of direct-response copywriting, there is no
more important person. You’ve learned how to examine the
product data card, the buyer profile, and past promotions to
discover not just your prospect’s age, income, and gender,
but a deeper knowledge about him… what interests him…
what keeps him awake at night. Using this process, you’re
now able to create a living, breathing representation of your
prospect and “see” him as if he were standing right beside you.

You know the “secret” structure of a successful direct-response

promotion. This is the framework of all successful direct-response
advertising — the unique selling proposition… the promise… the
picture… the proof… the push… the close… and the offer.

Part 3 3-3
 You understand the importance of research — and how
little nuggets of useful information infused into your sales
copy can actually make your prospect feel obligated to buy
what you’re selling.

You know what being “seeded” means

— and you’ve seeded yourself onto the
mailing lists and email lists of some of the
major direct marketers in the business by
purchasing a few inexpensive products from
them and subscribing to free e-newsletters.
These samples will serve as a powerful
resource for you in the months to come.
They’ll be sending you a constant stream of their best sales letters. Think of
this as having the “secret blueprints” to some of the most powerful money-
generators ever written delivered directly to your door or computer!

Finally, you understand the basics of “power

writing” — the secret to persuading people
with your words. You understand why you
need to write as if you’re “talking” directly
to your best friend… using short, succinct,
honest, straightforward, benefit-oriented
words and sentences.
All successful copywriting is based on these surprisingly few, surprisingly
simple concepts. The more deeply these simple ideas become ingrained
in your mind, the more successful you’ll be. That’s why it’s so important for
you to fully understand them.
If you don’t — stop right here. Then back up and review any of the previous
sections of this program that you’re not entirely sure of. Read them and re-
read them — until everything up to this point makes as much sense to you
as putting on your socks before your shoes.

3-4 Part 3
 The Myth of “You”… Two Powerful
Principles of Selling Revealed
By Mark Morgan Ford

T here’s a longstanding rule in direct marketing that says you should

write in the second person. That is, you should address your prospect
by the personal pronoun “you” throughout your copy. (Hence, the “you”
rule.) And if you speak to most copywriters — even the top-notch ones —
they talk about writing in the second person as if it were one of the “Ten
Commandments” of copywriting.
But, in fact, there are many
“Using a first-person narrator is instances of extremely
successful direct-response copy
simply a matter of hearing the voice
that’s not written in the second
inside yourself.” — James Lee Burke person. Sometimes it’s written
from a first person perspective
where the writer uses the pronoun “I.” Other times, it’s written in the third
person with the pronouns “he,” “she,” and “they.”
How can we explain this phenomenon? Does some copy work well in the
first or third person, but would work better in the second? The answer is “no.”
Just look at these powerful examples from the AWAI “Hall of Fame: Great
Selling Ideas From 50 Super-Successful Direct-Mail Letters and Direct-
Response Ads.”
A first person narrative from The Thompson Cigar Company …

Sometimes I wonder why I’m in this business at all — and

why I go all over Hell’s half-acre to insure my supply of
good tobacco. Yet, if I didn’t go right down to the tobacco
farms and check the crops for myself, I’d never be able to
offer you the cigars I do. And I certainly would never have
found the priceless bales of wrapper I brought back from
my last trip to Central America.

Part 3 3-5
 Check out this third person piece from the enormously successful Wall
Street Journal letter …

On a beautiful late spring afternoon, twenty-five years ago,

two young men graduated from the same college. They
were very much alike, these two young men. Both had
been better than average students, both were personable
and both — as young college graduates are — were filled
with ambitious dreams for the future.

So what’s going on with this deeply rooted copywriting rule? Is there any
validity to it?
In my extensive direct-marketing experience, I’ve found that the “you”
rule is really just a crutch to help ordinary copywriters follow two universal
selling principles… the principle of benefit and the principle of intimacy.

The Principle of Benefit

As you’ve already learned, the best way to sell any product or service is to
talk about all the benefits or advantages it will bring your prospect.
So, if you’re selling a microwave
oven, you wouldn’t tell your reader
“People want riches; they need
that it’s got 1.52 kilowatts and is 24
fulfillment.” — Robert Conklin inches wide. You’d show him how
it’ll make his life infinitely simpler.
How he’ll be able to prepare gourmet meals for friends and family in 15
minutes or less. How he’ll never have to worry about cleaning a dozen
pots and pans. And so on. In other words, you’d address the benefits of the
product, not its features.
By focusing your prospect’s attention on his future benefits, you’ll create
in him a psychological link between your product or service and the
fulfillment of his desires. So as he moves through your copy, he’ll start
to equate your microwave oven with becoming more organized, more
sophisticated, and more esteemed.

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 “Basically, a feature is something the product is or contains.
And a benefit is what the product does. Mark Ford teaches
us to go beyond features and benefits and include what
he calls the ‘deeper benefit,’ which is how the product can change
the prospect’s life.” — Bob Bly
And it’s true that by speaking in the second person, you tend to touch
upon the benefits of your product or service. It’s just naturally easier to
project benefits when you talk in terms of “you.” For example…
“You’ll never have to worry about rushing to prepare that special meal for
your friends and family.” Or, “Are you sick and tired of cleaning your range
top? Well, now you can prepare delicious meals without even turning on
your stove!”
However, I want to point out that
it’s entirely possible to speak in
“The only way to advertise is by
the second person and never
not focusing on the product.” communicate benefits. For
— Calvin Klein example, if you were selling a car,
you could say something like …
“As an automobile owner, you can appreciate how state-of-the-art the
new Infitron is. It has the finest anti-lock braking system available and the
most sophisticated built-in security mechanism.” As you can see, this only
describes the features of the product.
Or, if you were selling a financial service, you might say…
“As an investor, you can appreciate the fact that I graduated from Harvard
Business School and have an IQ of 170.” Although you’re speaking in the
second person, here you’re really focusing on yourself. It’s like the old joke,
“Let me stop talking about myself. What do you think about me?”
In both cases, you’ve created ineffective copy, because you’ve ignored the
universal principle of benefit… show your prospect all the advantages he’s
getting at every opportunity!

Part 3 3-7
And that’s why AWAI-trained copywriters don’t follow the “you rule.”
Because they realize that the “you rule” — like every rule — sometimes
works and sometimes doesn’t. Instead, they follow universal principles
which work every single time. So, when you hear other copywriters tout
the glories of the “you rule,” you’ll automatically know you’re smarter than
they are. Because you realize that writing in the second person often helps
you project benefits, but doesn’t guarantee that you will.
And while we’re on the subject of principles… let’s look at the other principle
that the “you rule” invokes — the lesser known and talked about principle of
intimacy.

The Principle of Intimacy

Intimacy is a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal
relationship with another person or group. In direct-response copywriting,
the principle of intimacy is based upon the observation that there are
really only two ways to sell anything — 1) the classical approach and 2) the
charismatic approach.
As you’ll recall, the basic thrust
of the classical approach is to
focus the reader’s attention on
the benefits he’s going to derive
from your product or service.
In the charismatic approach, you
create an additional overriding
benefit… the benefit of
becoming familiar or “intimate”
with the seller himself. (Hence,
the principle of intimacy.) If you’ve ever bought something you didn’t really
need just because you liked the salesperson and/or wanted to reward him
for his kindness, you, too, have been bitten by the charisma bug. In other
words, the seller had a personal quality that allowed him to influence your
opinion or behavior.

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 Of course, it’s not always appropriate in direct-response marketing to adopt
the charismatic approach and to evoke intimacy. Generally speaking, the
level of intimacy you want to create depends on what you’re selling and
your relationship with the prospect.
For example, if you know you’re never going to “see” the prospect again,
it doesn’t make sense to evoke intimacy. Why make the prospect trust and
like you if your relationship with him is over?
But since we nearly always want an ongoing relationship with our prospect,
we can assert that creating some level of intimacy is generally helpful in
the sales process and should be done whenever possible.
Speaking in the second person is just one of many ways of evoking
intimacy. But as I mentioned earlier, you can speak in the second person
and not create intimacy. In fact, if you reread the automobile and financial
service examples from before, I think you’ll agree that they’re not very
intimate.
On the other hand, I can show you examples where the writer speaks in the
second person and does establish intimacy. From the Popular Mechanics
letter…
************************

************************

***********************************************
If you want to live better…
Don’t mind hard work…
Like to pay your own way…
Let me ship you VOL. 1 of the exciting
POPULAR MECHANICS DO-IT-YOURSELF
ENCYCLOPEDIA.
And I want you to keep it. FREE!
(because you’re
***********************************************
my kind of guy)

Part 3 3-9
And from the National Geographic letter…

Once you understand the principle of intimacy, you’ll realize you can
“connect” with your prospect without going into the second person. You
can write in such a way that the reader likes you, trusts you, and wants to
hear from you again.
Which brings me to my next point…

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 Forging a Personal Connection
Adopt an Intimate Voice
Remember learning about your selling voice? Well, if you want to evoke
intimacy with your reader, you’ll have to speak to him in a voice that’s
honest and sincere. But that voice doesn’t have to be in the second person.
In fact, it’s very often in the first or third person.
As we’ve said before, everyone has a natural selling voice. That’s the voice
you use to persuade your family, friends, and people who are close to you.
When you can write a letter in this voice, you’ll have a powerful tool at
your disposal. Because you’ll automatically be speaking with the power of
intimacy.
But sometimes you won’t have that luxury. On behalf of your client, you
may be speaking as a university dean, a director, or a president of a large
company. In those cases, you’ll still need to employ intimacy — even if it’s
in a business-like voice…
Here’s an example from The National Arbor Day Foundation…

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So, you see, whether you’re writing in the first person, the third person, in
your natural selling voice or not, you can still speak to your prospect in a
way that’s open and intimate…
Now, for some more techniques…
Include a Photo
This is one of the simplest — yet
commonly overlooked — ways
of establishing intimacy. If you
want to make your prospect more
comfortable with you, show him
who you are! Prove to him you’re a
real, live person.
Try to choose images tailored to
your audience. If you’re writing to
affluent businessmen, you might
select a picture of the author
of the letter in a suit wearing a
confident grin. Likewise, if you’re
writing to the “average guy,”
you probably want him dressed
casually and assuming a more
modest demeanor.
Put Yourself in Your Prospect’s Shoes
A powerful way to build trust with any prospect is to relate to the specific
situation he’s in. If you’re writing to a middle-aged man, and you’re a
middle-aged man, state that in the copy! Talk about what life is like at
50. Commiserate with his aches and pains. Complain about the young
kids who are taking away your jobs. Dream with him about regaining his
youthful physique. In other words, paint a picture that reminds him where
he is and then take him where he wants to be!

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Even if you’ve never been in the same situation as your prospect, you can
still put yourself in his shoes. Talk to a friend or family member who’s had
the same experiences as your reader. Then incorporate those feelings,
beliefs, and desires into your copy. Your reader will gravitate toward you as
a result.

“My boss sent me to work in the mailroom… and while I was

opening the mail, I noticed that almost all the checks we
received were written by people with shaky hands
and shaky fingers. I realized these were really old people sending
in donations. And they were all women. So maybe I should write a
letter as if I were writing it to my grandmother.”
— Jerry Huntsinger, featured in AWAI’s Copywriting Genius: The Master
Collection
Instead of sitting at the computer and composing his letters, Jerry dictates
the letters. He doesn’t type a letter, he says it out loud. His winning
control for the Center for Marine Conservation has never been beaten.

And now for my personal favorite…

Include Revelations
It goes without saying that the more your prospect can “see” into you, the
more he’ll trust you. Let’s say you’re buying a car. Would you buy from the
guy who showed you a picture of his newborn baby and told you about
the joys of fatherhood, or from the guy who never told you a thing about
himself? More than likely, you’d pick salesman #1: the charismatic/intimate
seller. Why? Because by revealing something about himself, he made you
feel closer to him. You started to think he was an “all right” guy, and you
sensed that you could trust him.
Well, the same holds true for direct-response copywriting. When your
prospect opens your letter or email, chances are he has no idea who you
are. So, your challenge is to get him to warm up to you and feel like he
knows you — just like our car salesman did. And the way you do that is by
revealing small, personal details about yourself (revelations).

Part 3 3-13
 Let’s say you’re writing a sales letter as the president of a multinational
bank, and you’re trying to attract new, young cardholders. Even though
you’re a classy guy, you could still establish intimacy by sharing bits of
your life. You might tell the reader that your best friends call you “Cornfed”
because you grew up in Des Moines, Iowa. Or that you love to play your
guitar on weekends. And
“The glue that holds all relationships if you’ve done your job
well, your prospect would
together — including the relationship
feel like he really got to
between the leader and the led — is know the president of a
trust, and trust is based on integrity.” billion-dollar bank. (And
— Brian Tracy who wouldn’t want that
pleasure!)
Now, for a special type of revelation…
Show Your “Achilles Heel”
If you’re writing copy for self-improvement products and services (e.g.,
diets, training courses, business opportunities), you should always reveal
something I call your “Achilles’ Heel.”
With its origin in Greek mythology, the phrase “Achilles’ Heel” refers to a
portion, spot, area, or the like, that is especially vulnerable and can lead to
potential downfall.
The reason it’s so important to reveal your Achilles’ Heel in self-improvement
copy is because your prospect has built-in insecurities. He might be insecure
about his weight, or his intelligence, or his career. So you must prove to
him that you don’t consider yourself to be better than he is — even if you
really are. In fact, the more obvious it is that you’re smarter, richer, or more
attractive than he is, the more you must show your Achilles’ Heel.
So if you were writing a sales letter as Michael Jordan, you might tell the
prospect how you were cut from your high school basketball team or you
might reveal a moment in your life when you wondered whether you could
really play good basketball.

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If you were writing a promotion for a weight-loss supplement, you might
say something like, “I used to be so overweight that I cried when I looked at
myself in the mirror.”
And if you were writing for a business opportunity program, you could
say… “I remember when I didn’t have enough money to buy groceries for
my family. There I was at the checkout counter telling the cashier to ‘take
back’ each item one by one. I tried to ignore the snickering, but it echoed
all around me.”
In all of these scenarios, the writer proves he’s a real human being with
insecurities and flaws just like the reader.
The Achilles’ Heel also works at a deeper psychological level. By revealing
something embarrassing about yourself, you give the prospect a little
power over you. He now knows one of the most upsetting moments in
your life, and that puts him one up on you. Now, he can’t help but feel a
certain closeness and intimacy toward you.
Are you ready for my very last technique? It’s so subtle your prospect won’t
know what hit him…
Include Your Reader in “Your Special Group”
Anytime you can, you should try to include your prospect in a special
group along with you. This group could be just about anything from
fishermen to geopolitical thinkers to doctors and lawyers.
Here’s a wonderful example of a special group from the Fly Fisherman
letter…

Fellow Angler:
There’s bait casting. There’s spin fishing. And then there’s fly
fishing —
— what Robert Traver (author of Anatomy of a Murder but
best known to fisherman for his love affair with trout) called
“one of the more amiable forms of an incurable madness.”

Part 3 3-15
 If the hairs on your neck tingle at the vision of a dusk-rising
brown gently finning as he looks upstream for hors d’oeuvres,
you’ve got the madness.
I know I do. I’m the Editor of FLY FISHERMAN. Like Robert
Traver I fish because …
“… in a world where most men seem to spend their lives
doing things they hate, my fishing is at once an endless
source of delight and an act of rebellion …
“… because trout do not lie or cheat and cannot be bought or
bribed or impressed by power, but respond only to quietude
and humility and endless patience …”
I’ve got it bad; this amiable madness. And so do all of us
here at FLY FISHERMAN magazine.

The writer immediately groups himself and his prospect as fishermen with
an “incurable madness” for fly fishing.
Once you’ve created a special group with your reader, you can forge an
even stronger connection by placing that group in opposition with a
common enemy…
Differentiate Yourself From the Enemy
What better way to “connect” with your prospect than to show him how
everyone else is wrong… except for your special group?
For example, if you were writing to a hard-working average guy, you might
set your group apart from the lazy, rich crowd. You could say something
like… “We know how hard it is to make a buck today… but not everyone
does. Some people get it all handed to them on a silver platter.”
It’s you and him against these “other” people. You and he know what life’s
really about. You and he have it all figured out. But not those rich people.
They just don’t have a clue. This positioning transforms you into a special
friend rather than just a salesperson.
And that concludes this section on establishing intimacy!

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Remember, intimacy is fundamentally caring for your prospect and building
trust. We all look for trust and warmth in our personal relationships, in our
business relationships… and even in the direct-response advertising we’re
exposed to every day. So above and beyond all…

Love Thy Customer!

Before you sit down to write any sales letter, picture someone you truly
love in your mind’s eye. It could be anyone that’s close to you… a spouse,
a friend, a relative, etc. Then, write to your reader as if you were speaking
directly to him. Put yourself in his situation. Include him in your special
group. Reveal a personal moment in your life. When your copy starts
bringing in money, you’ll be glad you know how to do this!

“A hit song from 1958 by the Teddy Bears holds the true,
core secret: ‘To Know, Know, Know Him Is to Love, Love,
Love Him.’
If you want to write strong, great, killer copy, you MUST know your
prospect intimately. You must know her so well that she is real to
you. If she is real to you, your copy will sing to her.” — Will Newman

Coming up — after you complete exercise #7 — you’ll learn how to

determine your prospect’s emotional “hot buttons” and more about the
importance of stressing benefits to the reader. These are classic techniques
that you’ll learn about only from AWAI.
But before we move on, I thought it would be encouraging to hear from
some people who have already traveled down the road you’re now on.
These aren’t people who had years of copywriting experience like some of
the masters you’ve been learning from to this point. They were just like you
are now… coming from different careers and taking up the challenge to
create a career and lifestyle of their own choosing. Most important, they’re
succeeding!
Read on as Marcella Allison and Mary McNamara share their tips for getting
your new career started on the right foot…

Part 3 3-17
 Don’ t let the learning curve intimidate you. Take it one
step at a time. Learn something new every day. One
day you’ ll wake up and suddenly realize all those tips,
tricks, and techniques have become second nature.
Remember, you don’ t have to be perfect … just start
writing toda y. If you wait for perfection, you’ ll miss
out on your life.
Also, don’ t let criticism shut you down. Look at every
comment and every piece of feedback as someone
helping you get one step closer to your goal.
— Marcella Allison

Be dedicated to the dream. I have a framed quote from Richard

Bach on my desk — “A professional writer is an amateur who
didn’t quit.” There will be days when quit ting sounds easier,
but then you’ll never know what could’ve been.
— Mary McNamara

Your Next Exercise:

Exercise #7

The letter in this exercise was written by Paul Hollingshead, who you met
earlier in this program. Paul has become legendary as a top copywriter in
the financial industry. He makes more than $300,000 with a single client
annually. He’s been working in this industry for nearly 20 years — and
there’s no one better at writing copy that hits at the heart of a reader’s

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emotions, worries, dreams, desires and wishes. To do that, he follows the
principles of intimacy, benefit and “loving thy prospect.”
In fact, Paul has said this about his approach to writing financial letters:
“I try to picture in my mind who I’m writing to — an actual person. And,
typically, it’s someone between the ages of 45 and 55 who’s not making
the money he thinks he could be making in the markets, and perhaps
hasn’t saved enough money for retirement — and he’s starting to get
worried about it. Then I try to picture him at his ‘maximum point of
anxiety.’
So my sales letter is essentially the guy who comes along with the
answers, who puts a hand on his or her shoulder and says, ‘Don’t worry
about it… we can take care of this right here and now. Let me tell you
about this strategy a lot of professional investors are using to make a lot
of money fast…’”
Now, let’s see what you’ve learned. Please go online to acces Exercise #7…

The Myth of “Fear” and “Greed”…

and What Really Makes Us Tick
By Mark Morgan Ford

If you read most copywriting books, you’ll hear about two basic emotions:
fear and greed. Appeal to fear and greed, they say, and you’ll motivate
your prospect to buy. And most copywriters follow this piece of advice
when they write sales copy.
But when the responses come in, they’re consistently disappointed
because their promotions generate only mediocre results. Hard as they try,
they just can’t get out of their rut. They’re confused and frustrated. After all,
they’ve done what they were told.

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 The problem is, they’ve followed an erroneous rule. Human beings are
motivated by much more than fear and greed. We’re capable of feeling
a wide array of emotions… from happiness to anger… from passion to
indifference. Think about yourself for a moment. Do you think you’re
driven by just two emotions?
Most people are not. And
“Your intellect may be confused, but that’s why if you just appeal
your emotions will never lie to you.” to fear and greed, you’ll
— Roger Ebert only reach a handful of your
prospects.
But if you stimulate several emotions, you’ll not only reach more of your
audience — you’ll reach them more deeply.

37 Copywriting Emotions
• Curiosity • Benevolence • Exhaustion • Insecurity
• Optimism • Boredom • Happiness • Complacence
• Laziness • Sadness • Pessimism • Revenge
• Anger • Pride • Desperation • Passion
• Patriotism • Whimsy • Love • Loneliness
• Annoyance • Surprise • Envy • Sympathy
• Disgust • Shyness • Lust • Embarrassment
• Guilt • Indifference • Fear • Vanity
• Confusion • Wit • Stupidity • Confidence
• Altruism

Why We Stir Emotions

At this point in the program, you may be wondering why you should
bother to evoke emotions at all. After all, you’re not a psychologist…
you’re a budding copywriter. You’re in this business to sell things.
The truth is, all selling involves a firm understanding of the human psyche.
If you want to persuade someone, you need to know what spurs him to
action.

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 And emotions are, simply put, strong feelings within your prospect which
do just that — move people to action. In fact, the word “emotion” comes
from the Latin verb motere which means “to move” — implying that
emotion leads to movement.
You already know this
“I have my own particular sorrows, loves, to be true. When you
experience anger,
delights; and you have yours. But sorrow,
your body prepares
gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to itself for action. Your
all of us, in all times and in all places.” pulse races, blood
— Harry Overstreet flows to your hands,
and adrenaline rushes
through your system. As a result, you may take several different actions…
yell and scream, kick a wall, exercise, talk to a friend, and so forth.
The point is, the emotion moved you toward an action.
As a copywriter, you’ll be arousing emotions within your prospect to
encourage one specific action… to buy what you’re selling!
Specifically, you’ll stimulate emotions to create a desire within your
prospect to purchase your product or service. We call this process the
3-Step Buying Tier.
Let’s examine this idea with an example…
Say we’re selling a sporty car to a middle-aged man. First we The 3-Step
need to identify his emotions. From our direct-marketing Buying Tier
research, we know he’s insecure about his appearance, afraid
ACTION

Ç
of getting old, and bored with his usual routine. So as we
write, we’ll subtly depict our car as sexiness, self-worth, and
excitement incarnate! As our prospect moves through the
copy, he’ll start to develop a strong desire for our car. Finally, DESIRE
when that desire becomes strong enough — when he can
actually see himself becoming all that he dreams — he will Ç
EMOTION
have been spurred to action (i.e. purchasing the car).

Part 3 3-21
 The “So What?” Technique to Discovering Your Prospect’s
Core Buying Emotion
— Mark Morgan Ford
Let’s say you’re selling a car that has a 345-horsepower engine. That, of
course, is one of its features. Very few people will respond to it. So you
ask yourself “So what?” The answer: this car will accelerate quickly and
safely. That’s a surface benefit.
“So what?” you ask yourself AGAIN. The answer: If the car accelerates
quickly and safely, you’ll be able to get where you’re going on time…
and keep your family — and anyone else who’s in the car — safe. That’s a
deeper benefit.
“So what?” you ask yourself once more. The answer: Well, you’re getting
to places on time, and your family is safe when they travel with you. You
really are a responsible adult and a good parent.
Ah, there’s a core emotional benefit!

See how that works? That’s the process you’ll be using every single time
you write a package. First you’ll be evoking emotions within your prospect.
Then you’ll be moving him to desire your product or service. Finally, you’ll
get him to sign on the dotted line.
Keep in mind that each direct-
response promotion you write
“The desire of gold is not for gold.
will be a study into several
It is for the means of freedom and different emotions. Here’s one of
benefit.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson the emotions you may choose to
include…

Curiosity: Why Pandora Opened the Box…

The same so-called “experts” who tell you that fear and greed are the most
powerful emotions in copywriting are the same people who will deny the
power of curiosity. Curiosity, in my opinion, is probably the most important
emotion. In fact, if you examine the greatest direct-response headlines,
you’ll find that over 50% of them rouse curiosity at some level.

3-22 Part 3
 “She had nothing to do but look at the golden box. What
could be in it? Before too many hours had passed, she
could stand it no longer… She opened the box a crack.
But nothing could be seen. She opened the box a little
more. A slight buzzing sound came from within. At that,
Pandora could not stop herself. She threw open the box
all the way”…
— Pandora’s Box, by Lisl Weil

Here’s a classic example from the Phillips letter…

Part 3 3-23
Wouldn’t you agree that this works largely on curiosity? After all, wouldn’t
you like to know which food could help you achieve a longer, healthier life?
That’s why this headline was so successful. It piques the interest of even the
most casual reader and ushers him into the copy.
Notice that it also works on fear. If the prospect doesn’t find out what this
food is, he could age more quickly.
Check out this one from the Instant Improvement letter…

Again, curiosity is hard at work. How could you possibly burn disease
out of your body? Could it have something to do with the mind-body
connection? Do people really have the power to heal themselves? This
headline prompts a dozen questions, and in doing so, moves the prospect
into the letter.
Lastly, from the Senmontier Strategy…

A RARE OPPORTUNITY TO
TURN $5,000 INTO $3.52 MILLION
Notice how a specific number can stimulate a prospect’s intellectual
curiosity. The prospect is inclined to ask, “Why will I make $3.52 million and

3-24 Part 3
 not $3.5 million? Hmmm… they must be talking about some special kind
of system or formula. I wonder what it is…”
See how curiosity works? It’s a powerful emotion you can use to supercharge
headlines, subheads, and body copy.
But that’s not the only emotion you’ll be using. Allow me to introduce
you to…

Vanity
Vanity is excessive pride in one’s appearance, qualities, abilities, or
achievements. In direct-response copywriting, it’s used to sell to people
who want to improve themselves or their physical appearance.
As you may have guessed, the whole fitness industry revolves around
vanity. Ab Rockets, Belly Burners, Booty Slides, and dozens of other
new exercise gadgets that flood the market each year are sold almost
exclusively on vanity.
Likewise, diet programs, teeth-
“Your face is always on display.” whitening systems, cosmetics, skin
— Estee Lauder and hair care products appeal to
vanity.
What other products are sold on vanity? Language courses, literary and
reading series, memory enhancement courses…
Most of these products promise: “Buy this and people will notice a
difference in you.”
Here’s a sales letter that’s based on vanity…

Have a “Washboard” Stomach in 60 Days or Less!

Dear Friend:
Forget everything you’ve heard about washboard stomachs
taking years of back-breaking work to develop.

Part 3 3-25
 Now there’s a scientifically proven way to have a rock-hard
washboard stomach in less than 2 months!
And here’s the best news: You don’t have to spend hours in
the gym. You don’t have to eliminate your favorite foods. And
you don’t have to have a “genetically correct” body to make it
happen for you.
It’s all because of a revolutionary new product — developed
by doctors and fitness experts — that isolates the most
prominent and most difficult abdominal muscles to develop.
Imagine removing your shirt in public to reveal
rock-hard, rippling abdominal muscles.
Imagine walking down the beach and being the subject of
every woman’s stare and the envy of every man.
Imagine losing forever those “love handles” that sag over
almost every man’s belt.
Imagine virtually eliminating all backache because your
stomach is now doing most of the work to support your
upper body.
Imagine no more!
Because your abdominal muscles — once the hardest to
develop — are now the easiest… thanks to this amazing
scientific and medical breakthrough.

It’s a rare man who wouldn’t want to have a firm, hard stomach — just like
most women would jump at the chance to have the body of an 18-year-old
supermodel, if they could have it easily and quickly.
Notice that this copy also stimulates the prospect’s confidence and offers
him the hope that he can really be who he wants to be.
The writer evokes both of
these emotions by painting a
“I love the confidence that makeup
convincing picture. Painting a
gives me.” — Tyra Banks picture lets your reader visualize
himself as being better off as

3-26 Part 3
a result of your product or service. Here, the prospect can actually see
himself becoming stronger, sexier, and more desirable because of this new
gadget.
Here’s another reason this copy works… because it plays off the
insecurities within the prospect.
Chances are, this prospect really wants to be more attractive,
because he senses some deficiency in himself. Maybe he’s
insecure about his social status, or his level of power,
or even his sexuality. And he’s seeking some way
to overcome these feelings. So when he sees your
product, voila! He’s offered hope.
As you’ll learn later on, insecurity is so
fundamental that we can trace its roots in many
other copywriting emotions (particularly greed).
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
On to our next example, which you’re already somewhat familiar with…

They Laughed When I Sat Down At the Piano.

But When I Started to Play —
Arthur had just played “The Rosary.” The room rang with
applause.
I decided this would be a dramatic moment for me to make
my debut. To the amazement of all my friends, I strode
confidently to the piano.
“Jack is up to his old tricks,” somebody chuckled. The crowd
laughed.
They were all certain I couldn’t play a single note.
“Can he really play?” I heard a girl whisper to Arthur.
“Heavens No!” Arthur exclaimed. “He never played a note in
all his life…
But just you watch him. This is going to be good.”

Part 3 3-27
 I decided to make the most of the situation. With mock
dignity I dusted off the piano keys. Then I rose and gave
the revolving stool a quarter of a turn, just as I had seen an
imitator of Paderewski do in a Vaudeville sketch.
“What do you think of his execution?” called a voice from the
rear.
“We’re in favor of it!” came back the answer. The crowd
rocked with laughter.
Then I Started to Play
Instantly an intense silence fell on the guests. The laughter
died on their lips as if by magic. I played through the first
few bars of Beethoven’s immortal Moonlight Sonata. I heard
gasps of amazement. My friends sat breathless — spellbound.
I played on and as I played I forgot the people around me. I
forgot the hour, the place, the breathless listeners. The little
world I lived in seemed to fade — seemed to grow dim —
unreal. Only the music was real. Only the music and visions
it brought me. Visions as beautiful and changing as the wind
clouds and drifting moonlight that long ago inspired the
master composer. It seemed as if the master musician himself
was speaking to me — speaking through the medium of
music — not in words but in chords. Not in sentences but in
exquisite melodies.
A Complete Triumph
As the last notes of the Moonlight Sonata died away, the
room resounded with a sudden roar of applause. I found
myself surrounded by excited faces. How my friends carried
on! They shook my hand — wildly congratulating me — and
pounded me on the back in their enthusiasm! Everybody was
exclaiming in delight — plying me with rapid questions…
“Jack! Why didn’t you tell us you could play like that?” …
“Where did you learn?”… “How long have you studied?”…
“Who was your teacher?”
“I have never seen my teacher,” I replied. “And just a short
while ago, I couldn’t play a note.”

3-28 Part 3
 “Quit your kidding,” laughed Arthur, himself an accomplished
pianist.
“You’ve been studying for years. I can tell.”
“I have been studying for only a short while,” I insisted. “I
decided to keep it a secret so that I could surprise all you
folks.”
Then I told them the whole story…

That’s a successful use of vanity. Who wouldn’t want to be able to impress

his friends by playing the piano like a pro? Again, notice how the writer
made you feel like you were there by painting a picture. In fact — as you
read — you almost become the pianist.
You walk up to the piano. Everyone thinks you’re at it again — just goofing
around. But when you play, the laughter is replaced with awe. (As you read,
you can practically hear the room go quiet.) People are amazed — no,
spellbound — by your ability. And afterwards, everyone surrounds you,
shakes your hand, and slaps you on the back. You’re the hit of the party —
and who wouldn’t want to be that?
That’s vanity at its finest. Which is why this letter was such a blockbuster
success.
Here’s another heavy hitter you’ll be evoking…

Fear
Fear is a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc.,
whether the threat is real or imagined.
And in direct-response copywriting, fear is powerful. Fear of loss. Fear
of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of being duped. Fear of missing an
opportunity. Fear of
physical harm. Fear of
“There is only one universal passion: fear.” death. Fear of being
— George Bernard Shaw ridiculed. The list goes
on and on…

Part 3 3-29
But you have to be careful when appealing to a prospect’s fears. The fears
you introduce have to be real. They have to be specific. And the product or
service you’re selling must offer a solution.
For instance, you would have no success trying to sell a car by saying, “Your
friends will abandon you if you don’t buy the brand new Lexus.” That’s not
believable. It’s not appealing to a real fear. Would you have invested in this
program if we suggested your retirement would be threatened unless you
became a professional copywriter? Of course not.
The fear must already exist in your prospect’s mind. And you must be able
to enflame it.
Let’s look at some examples. First, from The Wall Street Underground letter…

3-30 Part 3
This letter is powerful. Nobody wants to lose everything he’s made to
forces he can’t control. And notice the “forces” threatening the prospect’s
welfare… the greedy government, Wall Street insiders, even his own
naïveté. So the prospect is hooked emotionally. He wants to know what
more he has to worry about — and how he can ultimately put those
worries to rest.
Use Polling Sites to See People’s Opinions
“I’ve read of a lot of pro copywriters who use polling sites
(ZogbyAnalytics.com for example). If you find overwhelming
majorities of people thinking that the economy is taking a turn for the
worse, then you can nip at that emotional feeling in your promotion.”
— Greg Grillot, featured in AWAI’s Copywriting Genius: The Master Collection
Greg’s Agora Reserve promotion broke Agora Financial’s sales records by
pulling in $6.5 million with the initial mailing.
Fear can be used to sell all kinds of products and services. Here’s a very
successful promotion that sold millions of dollars worth of subscriptions to
a health newsletter…

Got Milk?
Get Heart Disease
The Calcium in milk contributes to PMS, arthritis,
heart disease (the #1 killer of men and women).
There are much better ways to prevent osteoporosis
than with lots of calcium.
You’re probably getting too much calcium already…
Dear Friend,
Can milk cause heart disease?
Can your deodorant cause breast cancer?
In the course of a typical day, there’s a lot we take for
granted. We rarely stop to ask questions about everyday
items. Like the deodorant we put on this morning. Or the
milk we have with breakfast.

Part 3 3-31
 But we should.
For instance, milk advertising claims that drinking three
glasses of milk a day is healthy, and will protect you from
osteoporosis and its life-threatening consequences.
That’s a big, fat half-truth that’s being used to sell you
more milk …

The use of fear is especially effective here because most people drink milk.
And most people think of milk as being very healthy and wholesome. So
when a milk-loving prospect gets this message in the mail or sees the
headline as the subject line of an email — there’s very little chance he’ll
toss it in the trash or delete it without at least taking a look at it.
Also notice there’s a strong use of curiosity in the letter. It opens up with
two thought-provoking questions and entices the prospect to read on to
uncover the answers.
Next up on the emotional hot button hit parade…

Benevolence
So far, we’ve focused on the more
“No act of kindness, no matter “negative” emotions within your
prospect. But your prospect is also
how small, is ever wasted.”
driven by positive emotions…
— Aesop specifically benevolence, or the
inclination to do good.
Look at how Kimberly Seville used benevolence to raise funds for the
Covenant House…

“Does God still love me?”

“I’m not afraid, Sister,” Michelle said. “Really I’m not.” Her
eyes had that look that the dying sometimes get… a serene
gaze that can seem close to angelic. That’s how I knew she
truly meant what she said.

3-32 Part 3
 I took her frail hand and pressed it to my heart.
She had lost so much weight, her hands were as light as
birds’ wings. I felt if I didn’t hold on, they could just flutter
away, towards heaven.
She smiled at me, a smile that could light up a room. That’s
what the rest of the kids at Covenant House remember about
Michelle the most.
She was always ready with a smile.
“Sister? Can I ask you a favor?”
“Ask away,” I replied, my throat sore from holding back tears.
“Will you be here when I die? Just like this, holding my
hand?”
“You can count on it.”
Michelle was already HIV positive when I met her.
That was back in 1990. She showed up at our door late one
night — a scrawny, raven-haired beauty with deep-set eyes
and an infectious laugh.
But the symptoms, those horrible symptoms of AIDS, had
already begun to eat away at her…
Sometimes she had night sweats and cried out in her sleep.
When she woke up in the morning, the sheets would be
soaked all the way through.
She had a hacking cough that never left her. And there were
dry patches on her skin that nothing could seem to cure.
We fed her and clothed her and loved her, just like we do all
our kids.
Only this time, it was a little different.
Because there was no escaping her fate. The kids knew it, I
knew it, our staff knew it.
Sooner or later, Michelle was going to die.
There were so many things she wanted to know about death
and dying — questions that have challenged theologians and

Part 3 3-33
 philosophers since the beginning of time.
Questions that, often, I didn’t know how to answer.
“Sister, why did God give me this disease?”
“Sister, does God accept drug addicts in heaven?”
“Sister, does God still love me? Did God ever love me?”
The best I could do was tell Michelle what I believe: that
God’s love and forgiveness are limitless. And always.
That when she left this earth, she would leave pain and
suffering behind. That the unconditional love she never
received from her parents would be found in the tender
embrace of a loving God.
When I told her these things, she nodded sagely.
“You know, that’s just how I thought it would be. That’s
why I’m not scared to die. I think heaven is going to be a
wonderful place, where I never feel lonely or sad.”
“You know what I think heaven will be like, Sister?”
“What?” I asked.
“Like living at Covenant House.”
We buried Michelle just a few weeks ago. I wish you could
have met her, and gotten to know her as we did. I think you
would have liked her. I know you would have…

It’s hard to read this letter and not want to help kids like Michelle. That’s
because the writer creates a poignant scene of Michelle’s struggles and her
quest for truth and love.
But that’s not all that’s going on in this letter. Not only do you feel
compassion for Michelle, but you also want to reward Covenant House and
its staff for all their good work.
That’s why so many letters seeking contributions for non-profit agencies
make benevolence their main emotional target. Who can resist a well-told
story about the plight of the homeless, battered women and children, AIDs
victims, and a whole host of society’s less fortunate.

3-34 Part 3
 When you ignore benevolence, you ignore that part of human nature that
wants to do good, that wants to reach out, to nurture and love. Remember,
people are motivated by both positive and negative emotions — and
benevolence can be a powerful motivator in your copy.
“Luth Research recently reported that 65 percent of all
donors toured the websites of non-profit organizations
before writing a check, licking a stamp, or attending an
event. Clearly, they are looking for reasons to donate… but want
(and need) to be convinced to do so with strong, fundraising-
specific copy.
If you know the secrets of fundraising success, you’ll be well-
positioned to take your place among that industry’s most successful
copywriters.” — Will Newman
And now for our final emotion… the granddaddy of them all.
Drum roll, please…

Insecurity
Insecurity is self-doubt, or the lack of confidence or assurance… and it’s so
ingrained in the human psyche that it’s often not regarded as an emotion
at all.
But when you take the time to look below the surface of the more
“common” copywriting emotions — especially greed — you find insecurity.
Why are people greedy? Is it because
they have an inordinate desire for
“I don’t want to make money.
material possessions? If you were an
I just want to be wonderful.” ordinary copywriter, you might think
— Marilyn Monroe so. And you’d consequently push the
“greed button” throughout your copy.
But because you’re a budding AWAI copywriter, you know better. People
seek material things because they give them a feeling of self-worth.
Because they make them feel important. And better yet, because they think

Part 3 3-35
these things make them appear important in other people’s eyes.
That’s because deep down, these prospects are suffering from some form
of insecurity. So they overcompensate for it by surrounding themselves
with status symbols (e.g., expensive cars, designer watches) and/or by
joining exclusive groups.
Many of your “AWAI Hall of Fame” letters directly reflect this scenario.
Here’s one example from the classic American Express invitation letter…

Dear Mr. Ford:

Quite frankly, the American Express Card is not for everyone.
And not everyone who applies for Cardmembership is
approved.
However, because we believe you will benefit from Cardmem-
bership, I’ve enclosed a special invitation for you to apply for
the most time honored and prestigious financial instrument
available to people who travel, vacation, and entertain.

By inviting the prospect into an “elite” circle, the writer gives him a
newfound sense of security. After all, “not everyone who applies for
Cardmembership is approved.” Also notice how the American Express
Card actually becomes a symbol of prestige and status.
Check out this letter from The Oxford Club…

THE OXFORD CLUB

U.S. MEMBERSHIP OFFICE • 105 WEST MONUMENT STREET • BALTIMORE, MD 21201

You have been chosen from a select list to receive an invitation into what
must be the world’s most remarkable — and profitable — financial alliance.
It’s an alliance that includes many wealthy investors, financial experts, and
extremely successful entrepreneurs …
There’s an excellent reason why you were among a select few chosen to
receive this invitation — a reason that will become very clear to you in a moment.

3-36 Part 3
 This letter works particularly well for its targeted audience. It aligns
ordinary, everyday people with successful businessmen, entrepreneurs,
and educated strategists — a circle they would not ordinarily have access
to. The prospect is flattered that he’s even been considered to join this
group and reads on in the hopes of establishing his membership.
This is a powerful emotion because every single prospect you’ll encounter
will be insecure about something to a lesser or greater degree.
So there you have it. Five of the most powerful emotions in copywriting.
Curiosity. Vanity. Fear. Benevolence. And Insecurity. Of course, you’ll have
many more than five emotions to choose from — in fact, we listed 37 at the
beginning of this section. So never limit yourself. When in doubt, go deep.
Uncover who your prospect really is and what motivates him to act…
Then put all these different emotions together in your direct-response
promotions…

The Primary Emotion

How do you meld these diverse emotions? As you get more copywriting
experience, you’ll be able to weave several emotions throughout your sales
copy almost effortlessly.
But for now, just try to identify the primary or main emotion you’ll be
evoking. Then pick out the secondary emotions that lie within your
prospect.
Let’s look at a simplified
“People make decisions based on a example. Say you’re selling a
Franklin Mint ceramic plate.
feeling, need, or emotion… that’s
You research your prospect.
why intangible benefits are the keys Then your product. And
to persuasion.” — Dean Rieck you finally decide that your
primary emotion will be
insecurity. Why? Because you believe the prospect wants to surround
himself with valuables to establish his own self-worth.

Part 3 3-37
But that’s not all that’s going on inside his head. After all, he’s not sticking
this plate in some corner of his house. He’s going to display it in his curio
cabinet. He wants other people to see it and perceive him as being
sophisticated, interesting, and refined. So, now you have your secondary
emotions: pride and vanity.

Always Go Beyond Fear and Greed!

Now when you hear about the “wonders” of fear and greed, you’ll
know something that 99% of copywriters don’t know — that masterful,
moneymaking copy always goes beyond fear and greed.
When you write, try to tap into as many of your prospect’s emotions as you
possibly can. Keep raising the bar. It’ll not only strengthen your copy, it’ll
boost your response.
Emotion causes action. If you want to persuade someone, you need to
know what spurs him to action. As a copywriter, you’ll use your prospect’s
emotions to write your best direct-response letters. Listen to what Katie
Yeakle has to say on the subject…

Appealing to Your Prospect's Heart and Brain — Listen as

Katie talks about how using emotion in your writing strengthens
your copy and influences your prospect to take action.

Get Ready for Your Challenge …

Exercise #8

See how well you’ve mastered the emotions you’ll use to influence your
prospect to take action.
Please go online to access Exercise #8 …

3-38 Part 3
 Exercise #9

It’s time to start working on your first direct-response copywriting sample.

In this exercise, you’ll choose one of three fictitious products we’ve created
for you, and then decide which format you’d like your writing sample to be
in… either for print or online.
It’s a good idea to print out the booklet we’ve provided called “Materials
for Writing Your First Direct-Response Copywriting Samples,” as you’ll be
using it through the balance of the program.
Now, please go online to access Exercise #9 …

It’s All About BENEFITS — Not Features…

By Mark Morgan Ford

T hroughout this program, we’ve touched upon the idea of benefits and
features. Benefits, as you’ll recall, are the specific advantages a product
or service can offer a prospect. So, if we were selling a car, we might find
the following benefits… safety for you and your passengers and ample
power to pass on the open highway.
Simply put, benefits show the reader what’s in it for him. They keep him
moving through your copy. And they create a psychological link between
his desires and your product or service.
That last statement is so important, I’d underline it if I were you.
Remember how we said that people are sold emotionally? Well, benefits
stir the emotional desires within your prospect and connect them with
what you’re selling.
Take our car, for example. We said that one of its benefits is ample power.

Part 3 3-39
 The benefit of ample power
“When your prospect becomes may actually stimulate our
emotionally attached to a product, prospect’s desire to be
powerful. So as he reads
he will often buy automatically on
about our car, he starts seeing
impulse. The stronger the emotional himself becoming strong,
reaction, the quicker your prospect vigorous, and maybe even
will buy.” — Joe Vitale invincible. Eventually, the car
becomes a symbol of power
in his mind. And that moves him one step closer to the sale. That’s how
strong benefits are.
Features, on the other hand, are raw facts about your product or service.
In keeping with our car example, they might be the overhead cam engine
and anti-lock brakes.
As you might have guessed, features do little to stimulate emotions within
your prospect. But, they do serve a purpose in direct-response copy —
after your prospect is emotionally “sold” on the benefits. Remember, after
people are sold emotionally, they need to rationalize their emotional buying
decision. And features provide a nice comfortable way to do just that.

“Benefits are what a product does to improve the prospect’s

life. Benefits appeal to consumers, top-level executives,
entrepreneurs, first-time buyers, end users, and prospects.
Being able to finish your vacuuming in half the time is a benefit.”
— Mark Morgan Ford

As a copywriter, you’ll be communicating a multitude of benefits in every

sales letter you write. So let’s get some practice with features and benefits
by examining a common everyday object — a yellow, number two pencil.
Go ahead. Grab a pencil and place it in front of you. If you don’t have one
handy…here you go!

3-40 Part 3
Note all its physical attributes. These are its features. Then, think about
all the benefits these features can offer. How they can make your life
easier, more rewarding, and so forth. On a plain piece of paper, make two
columns, and write down all the features and benefits of your pencil. Or, if
you prefer, you can print out the worksheet we’ve provided in the Exercises
area of your myAWAI page.
Once you’ve done that, look at how one of our AWAI experts, Bob Bly,
tackled this assignment in his book, The Copywriter’s Handbook…

Features and Benefits of a #2 Pencil

Features: Benefits:
The pencil is a wooden cylinder Can be re-sharpened as often as you like
surrounding a graphite core. to ensure clean, crisp writing.

Convenient eraser lets you correct writing

One end is capped by a rubber eraser.
errors cleanly and quickly.

Tight-fitting metal band holds eraser

Eraser is attached with a metal band. snugly in place — so you’ll always have an
eraser when you need it.

Pencil is 6 inches long. Long length ensures long writing life.

Slender shape makes it easy to hold and

Pencil is ¼ inch in diameter.
comfortable to write with.

Graphite core is blended so that it writes

Pencil is a #2.
smoothly, yet is crisp and easy-to-read.

Bright yellow exterior ensures that it’s easy

Yellow exterior. to spot on a messy desk or in a crowded
drawer.

Sold in a convenient 12-pack, so if you lose

Sold by the dozen. one, you don’t have to run to the store for
another. Also, more cost-effective.

Did you come up with some of these features and benefits? If so, good job!

Part 3 3-41
You’re already getting a handle on an extremely important copywriting
principle. (See how much you’ve already learned in this program!)
Now take a closer look at Bob’s list. Wouldn’t you agree that the features
are pretty bland? I mean, there’s nothing emotionally stimulating about a
graphite core, a metal band, or a yellow exterior. Worse yet, the features are
impersonal. You just can’t get close to them.
But check out the benefits. In every one, the prospect is promised
something that will save him time and frustration and make his life more
productive.
Also note that by listing the features first, it’s much easier to uncover
benefits. That’s because every single fact about a product or service can be
transformed into a specific advantage for your prospect. (Often times, one
feature can be turned into several benefits. We’ll talk about that in just a bit.)
After all, who would have thought that an ordinary pencil could have eight
distinct benefits? Just imagine how many benefits you could uncover in
a watch, a computer, or a car? Could you find… Twenty? Fifty? A hundred
benefits?

Look for That One Unique Difference Nobody Else Seems

to Have
“It should be something the customers like and something you
are personally excited about… because you cannot write good copy if
you are not enthusiastic about what you are selling.”
— Joe Vitale, featured in AWAI’s Copywriting Genius: The Master Collection
While most people use bullets to list benefits, Joe uses “hypnotic writing”
to hint at benefits by asking an engaging question that cannot be
answered without the customer having the product. For example, “What
are the secret payoffs you get from solving this problem?” Everybody
wants to know a secret.

One direct-marketing legend, Gene Schwartz, sold billions of dollars’ worth

of products through direct mail, largely because he could cram more
benefits into his copy than any of his contemporaries.

3-42 Part 3
 His secret: He researched and re-researched his products. He squeezed out
every possible benefit and wove it into the copy. (In fact, Gene told us that
before writing an ad for a particular 700-page Rodale Book, he read the
book — all 700 pages — a whopping four times.)
So, if you want to pack power in your copy, follow Gene’s lead and…

Know Your Product Or Service Intimately

The best way to uncover the many benefits of your product or service is
to know it inside and out. If it’s a food product, eat it. If it’s an information
product, read it and follow its advice. And if it’s a service, use it. Know it
even better than your prospects do.
If you were writing a promotion
“Stretch out your benefits in time… for Omaha Steaks, for example,
showing the product at work, not you’d want to sample the steaks
for just an hour or a day, but over a yourself. You’d observe the way
span of weeks and months.” they looked, how they tasted,
— Gene Schwartz and how they smelled when
they were cooking.
Then you’d examine some of the steaks’ “features.” Let’s say you found
the following two features: 1) the beef is corn-fed; and 2) the steaks come
in a reusable, double-insulated cooler. (Of course, when you write real
sales copy, you’ll be exploring dozens of features. But for the purposes of
illustration, we’ll keep it simple.)
Next, you’d think about turning these features into benefits. Let’s look at
the first one. Corn-fed beef. What could that offer your prospect? Hmmm…
What about pure eating enjoyment with peace of mind? Here goes…
“Enjoy the rich flavor of extra-lean, corn-fed beef… You’ll never have to worry
about your cholesterol again!” That’s not bad. But let’s raise the bar a little…
How about, “When you taste our rich, corn-fed beef, you’ll feel like you’ve
just dined in a luxurious four-star restaurant.” Wouldn’t you agree that this
is stronger… and takes the prospect to a higher level of satisfaction?

Part 3 3-43
Okay, what about the second feature? The cooler. Well, we know it’s
reusable. That means it can be used over and over again even after the
steaks have been eaten. And it’s insulated. So it keeps everything inside
it fresh and free from spoilage. That seems like two distinct benefits.
(Remember, when you can get two benefits instead of one, go for two.
Offer your prospect as much as you possibly can.)
Let’s see… Benefit number one: “Use your reusable cooler for all your
picnics, barbecues, and sporting events. (You’ll never need to buy another
cooler again!)” Here the prospect is being offered convenience and value.
Now for the second benefit: “Rest assured knowing that no matter what
it’s like outside, your steaks will always remain fresh and juicy inside your
double-insulated cooler.” In this example, the prospect gets freedom from
anxiety.
See how easy that was? And once you get more practice with it, it’ll
become second nature.
Mark Ford’s Personal Techniques for Communicating Richer,
Deeper Benefits

llTell a simple story. Share details of how the testimonial-givers’ lives

improved.
llKeep idea clutter to a minimum. Big ideas can be hard to handle.
Sometimes, they multiply. They can bog your copy down and wear out
your prospect.
llThink of a blockbuster movie. Keep your core-copy idea simple,
packing “deeper benefits” between the lines.
llLay on the details, nice and thick. Rich details can be the strongest
mules in your stable, pulling your reader relentlessly to the sale.
llKeep it real. Authenticity builds trust. And trust leads to more checks
in the mail and more click-throughs online.

In a Nutshell
Any time you write, you should have a chorus running through your

3-44 Part 3
head… Benefits, not features… Benefits, not features.
Remember, benefits connect the prospect’s emotional desires with your
product or service. Features appeal to the prospect’s logic. So first sell with
benefits, then rationalize the buying decision with features.
In the next section, you’ll learn three “Masters” level secrets. But first…

Your Next Exercise:

Exercise #10, #11

Now, it’s time for your practice exercises…

Please go online to access Exercises #10 and #11 …

3 More Bonus Secrets…

By Mark Morgan Ford

C ongratulations! You’ve made a lot of progress. At this point, you already

know 90% of what most professional copywriters know. And you’re not
even half-way through the program.
You’ve learned how to identify your audience, how to speak in a voice
that’s persuasive and conversational, and how to tap into powerful selling
emotions that move your prospect toward the sale. That’s a lot of valuable
knowledge in a very short amount of time…
Now that you’ve mastered the basics, I’m going to take you further along
by sharing more powerful copywriting secrets with you in the sections that
follow. These are secrets that most seasoned copywriters don’t even know
— never mind use.
When you use these secrets, you’ll make even more progress and move
faster ahead in this lucrative world of freelance copywriting.

Part 3 3-45
 The Negative Power of Clichés
You’ve seen them pop up online and in magazines, books, movies, radio
shows, and television programs. They even show up in your direct mail.
And you probably use a few in your everyday speech. Clichés.
What are clichés? They’re expressions that have lost their descriptive power
and freshness through overuse. Some examples are “the squeaky wheel
gets the oil,” “better late than never,” and “knock on wood.”
Although everyone can relate to these expressions, they’ve been said
so frequently that they’ve been stripped of their power. They no longer
communicate profound ideas. And they don’t inspire people intellectually.
And that’s why clichés are killers in direct marketing. They make your copy
seem obvious and predictable.
Think about it… When
your reader opens your
“People regurgitate the same old clichés letter or email, you
and it becomes like a photocopy of a want to get him excited
photocopy of something that’s vaguely about your product or
interesting.” — Steve Coogan service. You want to say
something fresh and
tantalizing to engage him.
But when you use clichés, something else happens to your prospect. A
little switch inside him turns off. He says to himself, “I know this already… I
don’t need to give it any more attention.”
And before you know it, he’s dismissed your copy. There goes your
response rate… and there goes your potential for writing a winning letter
and gaining the control.

So What Can You Do?

After you’ve written your copy, go back and reread it for clichés. If you
find any, underline them and think about what they really mean. Why do

3-46 Part 3
 people relate to these expressions in the first place?
Because here’s something you should know about clichés. Every single one
contains a fundamental element of truth.
But you must uncover it, then use it in
a fresh, new way to sell your product
“Let’s have some new clichés.” or service.
— Samuel Goldwyn
Let me try to make this idea clear
with a metaphor.
A cliché is like a fruit that has dried up and lost its flavor. You’ve got to peel
away the withered exterior and uncover that precious substance inside.
That pulpy sweetness which represents the very essence of the thing.
And you’ve got to extract it and repackage it to sell your product or service
in the strongest possible way.
When you can do that, your copy will be infused with life. Your words will
be fresh and thought-provoking. And your reader will keep turning the
pages or scrolling on his computer.
Remember, as a copywriter, you’ve always got to keep your prospect from
getting ahead of you. If he can anticipate what you’re going to say, he’ll
assume he knows what’s coming — and you’ll lose him.
What other secrets can you use to power charge your copy? Here are
samplings of some heavy-hitters from our Masters Program for Six-Figure
Copywriting…

Bonus Secret #1:

The Core Buying Emotion
As you’ve already learned, people buy for emotional, not rational reasons.
In fact, most direct-marketing purchases probably wouldn’t be made if
people gave them enough thought. There’s always someplace you can
get whatever it is you’re considering cheaper — and often, you’re buying
something you really don’t need at all.

Part 3 3-47
That’s why, throughout any direct-response promotion, every step of the
way, you must tantalize and tug at your prospect’s core buying emotion.

The Fastest Way to Know Your Prospect’s Core Buying

Emotion
— Rebecca Matter
llNext time you’re doing research on your prospect, visit online chat rooms.
llSimply select a chat room where you think prospects may be and listen
to what concerns them.
llFind out what they’re saying and the way they’re saying it to determine
the emotional hot buttons and words they’ll respond to in your
promotion.
llFor example, if you’re writing a health promotion, visit the message
boards at WebMD on a health topic.

This buying emotion isn’t a solitary emotion like fear or vanity… but a rich
mixture of intertwined feelings. A mixture that represents the core of who
and what your prospect truly is.
When you reach the Masters Level, you’ll learn the secret formula for
determining the core buying emotion for all kinds of prospects. You’ll know
what emotions to emphasize… which ones to avoid… and which ones to
treat subtly. By the time your prospect is halfway through your copy, you’ll
have captured his heart… and won his sale!
Here’s another one of our secrets… sure to supercharge any direct-
response promotion…

Bonus Secret #2:

The Golden Thread
Remember how we said that predictable copy is headed for the trash? Well,
the same holds true for dull and sluggish copy.
Your ongoing challenge as a copywriter is to keep your prospect interested
in what you have to say. You don’t do that by talking about your success…
telling cute little anecdotes… or filling pages with hype.

3-48 Part 3
 An Example of How the Golden Thread Works
— Will Newman
Let’s say you’re selling a nutritional supplement for men that
improves prostate function and also burns fat. The core complex for
your prospect (an active, 61-year-old, married man) is made up of fear,
embarrassment, vanity, and pride. So you’d make promises to him that
this supplement would eliminate his fears about all the health problems
an enlarged prostate can cause. He won’t have to worry about being
embarrassed by the symptoms that bedevil men with that problem.
You’d also promise that when he walks down the street, women will look
at his trim body and smile, while other men his age will be jealous.”

You do it by constantly stimulating what is meaningful to your reader… his

core beliefs, feelings, and desires. This is what makes up what we call “the
golden thread.”
When you weave this golden thread into your copy, you’ll hook your
prospect and keep his interest piqued throughout an entire promotion…
even if it’s a 20- or 30-pager. You’ll know how to keep your copy fresh and
stimulating — no matter what you’re writing about. And you’ll know just
how to mend the “slack” in your copy.
And lastly…

Bonus Secret #3:

The Four-Legged Stool©
For years, I watched promotions that seemed ordinary make tremendous
splashes in the direct-marketing waters. And I couldn’t figure out why.
Until one day I discovered the magic formula behind them. Each one
contained four critical parts that gave it strength and balance. Benefits.
Ideas. Credibility. Track Record. (Hence, the “four-legged stool©.”)
When you have all four parts, your copy will stand firmly on solid footing.
But forget to include just one of these legs, and your package will topple
over like a poorly constructed stool.

Part 3 3-49
 Soon you’ll learn how to develop and refine each leg and how to put them
all together. Once you master this technique, you’ll be able to evaluate
every direct-response promotion you write for
“Balance is beautiful.” depth and balance. And you’ll be able to scan
— Miyoko Ohno competing promotions and know — in a matter
of seconds — if they’ll succeed or fail.
When you have a moment, be sure to go to your myAWAI copywriting
member page and check out the link to the PDF of my
special report called, “Understanding the 4-Legged
Stool.” Inside, you’ll discover how using these four
critical elements… benefits, ideas, credibility, and track
record… will help you to write strong, balanced, winning
direct-response packages.
And, as I mentioned earlier, our Masters Program for Six-
Figure Copywriting is chock-full of powerful secrets…
24 to be exact. And each one of them can supercharge
your copy and break the sound barrier to full-force
copywriting success…
But before you’re ready to consider the Masters program, there are dozens
of secrets to learn in the sections that follow. Secrets that will give you
power and get you ready for top-notch copywriting…

Enough Theory… Back to Basics!

Revisiting the Basic Elements of a
Direct-Response Letter
By Mark Morgan Ford

O kay — you’ve got your feet in the water… now let’s jump in. We’re
going to revisit the basic elements of a direct-response letter and start
putting it all together…

3-50 Part 3
 Are You Ready to Move Forward?
If you haven’t been doing your exercises — if you’re just skimming this
program —please stop here. Go back to the beginning and start over. If
you think you’re going to hit a six-figure income without sitting down and
doing the work, think again.
These exercises aren’t here just to test your intellectual comprehension —
they’re here for neuron building. What you learn by doing the exercises
takes you to a level far above that of intellectual comprehension. This is the
way you really absorb the material. And, eventually, this is what allows you
to write… without worrying about structure… without concentrating on
tone or style…
…because it flows out of you. The patterns and language become second
nature, and you don’t even have to think about them. But this comes only
after countless hours of practice, practice, practice. So until you have that
under your belt, you have to do the exercises.

Practice, Practice, Practice…

“One of the things that helped me quickly hone my copywriting
skills was reading proven sales letters, and then writing them out
by hand. Every week, I’d pick one letter from AWAI’s Hall of Fame book.
Once a day, I’d read it and write it out by hand. Almost everyone at the
top — no matter what field or industry they’re in — got there because of
practice, practice, practice.”
— Ed Gandia, AWAI member since 2003 and AWAI Wall of Famer
Ed is an expert on the topic of transitioning from employee to freelancer.
He’s the publisher of the audio program Before You Quit Your Day Job:
Smart Financial Habits and Strategies to Boost Your Chances of Freelance
Success and the editor of The Profitable Freelancer, a free e-newsletter for
aspiring and working freelancers.

If you’ve been doing your exercises, congratulations! You’ve already internalized

a number of powerful copywriting techniques that you can use in your direct-
response sample. And you’re ready to step up to the next challenge…

Part 3 3-51
 Let’s Put the Pieces Together and
Start Filling in the Gaps…
Remember the secret structure of direct-response letters? Well, we’re going
to review all the basic elements we talked about earlier in this program,
and add in some selling techniques, so you can begin thinking about how
you’ll put all of this together.
When we’re done, you’ll have all of the preliminary work done for your
copywriting sample. You’ll know which direction to take. And you’ll have a
very good idea of how to put together real sales letters in the future.
Remember, every single element we’ll look at will accomplish a specific
purpose. So include them all in your letter. And make them as strong and
compelling as you possibly can.
Okay, enough said. Let’s get this ball rolling…

The Headline
This is where you grab your prospect’s attention and usher him into
the copy. How do you do that? You say something meaningful to him…
something that appeals to his core beliefs, feelings, and desires. If he’s
insecure, you promise to make him a better pianist, a sophisticated
intellectual, a better lover. If he’s afraid, you can offer him hope, a chance
to turn things around.
The point is, you need to try
“The headline is the ‘ticket on the and figure out where your
meat.’ Use it to flag down readers prospect is emotionally when
who are prospects for the kind of he opens up your letter or
product you are advertising.” email. And you need to hit him
— David Ogilvy with it. Head on. So he can’t
help but continue reading.
Remember, you have only a few precious seconds to grab his attention. So
make them count. Consider all possible headlines before settling on one.
(It’ll pay off in the long run. Believe me.)

3-52 Part 3
 As you read through each of the copy elements in this section, always
keep the copywriting sample you’re working on in mind. Keep notes on all
your ideas. We’ll get much more specific on each of these elements in the
upcoming sections, and you’ll have the skill to start putting together a solid
sample.
Now, for our next element…

The Lead
Here’s where you “hook” your prospect. You’ve just captured his attention
with the headline and want to keep his interest going strong…
So what do you do?
You deliver the big promise. You show him how your product or service will
make him richer, smarter,
sexier, or more powerful.
“I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.”
In other words, you show
— Don Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando) him what he’ll get if he
in The Godfather continues to move through
your letter.
As we discussed before, there are many ways to “lead” into your promise.
You can paint a picture in your prospect’s mind. Debunk a common myth.
Or spout off some facts and figures. All of these approaches work just fine.
However, your specific approach for this letter will depend on how you
believe you can best reach your prospect.
Whatever you choose, make sure you offer your prospect a promise he
can’t refuse.
What’s up next? You remember. It’s the big daddy…

The Body
Here’s where you’ll be doing most of your “hard selling.” You’re going to
make your case for your product or service. You’ll draw out its many benefits.
Prove that it can do everything you say it will. And introduce fresh, new ideas.

Part 3 3-53
But to make the body really work, you have to do your homework.
Remember, if you want to uncover the benefits, you have to become
intimate with what you’re selling. If it’s a food product, eat it. If it’s an
information product, read it and heed its advice. If it’s a service, try it out
on yourself. Think of all the ways it can improve your prospect’s life… then
load up your letter with benefits.

Gain Experience With the Product

“Get the product or the service and live with it, become a
customer of it. You have to become involved with it to find out
what it’s all about. So the very first thing is physical research when you
use the product yourself.”
— Joe Vitale, featured in AWAI’s Copywriting Genius: The Master Collection
If you’re interested in marketing, copywriting, publicity, or advertising,
Joe Vitale has written about it. He’s the author of the international #1
bestseller, The Attractor Factor, the #1 bestseller Life’s Missing Instruction
Manual, the #1 best-selling e-book Hypnotic Writing, and many others.

Then, you’re ready for the “proof” part of your letter. Here’s where you
can take off your creative cap for just a bit and start constructing your
argument. What kind of evidence would you need to persuade your
prospect? A specific study? Facts and figures? A testimonial from a doctor,
a lawyer, or a government official? You need to dig deep here and see what
“golden nuggets” you can find. (Don’t forget the Internet and your library
for these precious pieces of information.)
How else do you prove what you say? You establish credibility. You use
articles, studies, testimonials, or any other “independent” data that
supports your argument. You can also cite any degrees, published works,
or credentials for someone you’re quoting extensively. The point is, you
must show your prospect that you can back up what you say. And you do
that by giving him independent and reliable sources of information.
Finally, you must communicate compelling ideas to feed your prospect’s
mind. The trick here is to introduce ideas that your prospect will embrace.

3-54 Part 3
 How to Search for “Scholarly” Research
— Will Newman
The credibility of your copy depends on how well you’re able to
prove what you say. Frequently, this means relying on scholarly
publications like journals, where you can get data on the gross national
product of China or clinical research on the herbal extract Ashwagandha.
Google Scholar lets you do this easily and for free — using Simple Search
and Advanced Search (recommended). Advanced search lets you refine
your search options to weed out returns you won’t need.

And the way you do that is by analyzing your prospect’s core beliefs,
feelings, and desires.
Whew!… We just did a lot of good work, didn’t we? But we’re not done just
yet. We’ve still got two more elements ahead of us…

The Close
You’ve just proven your case and moved your prospect one giant leap
closer to the sale. Now what?…
You’ve got to look him straight in the eye and ask for his money! You’re at
that point in your letter where there’s no turning back. You must solidify
the buying decision in your prospect’s mind. There are four important
parts of this process… Let’s briefly look at each one…
1. Before you even reveal the price, you have to remind him of all the
wonderful benefits he’ll get from your product or service. Or — even
better — you could throw in some additional benefits to get him
excited.
2. T hen you make the offer. You tell him, in crystal-clear terms, what
you’re offering him in return for a modest payment. If you’re selling a
book for $19.95, then say it’s a book for $19.95. Don’t try to be cute or
clever here.
3. After you’ve revealed the price, you’ve got to prove to your prospect

Part 3 3-55
 that he’s really got nothing to lose by trying your product or service…
that all his money will be refunded if he’s not happy. That’s where
your 100% money-back guarantee comes in.
4. Finally, you’ll want to include a strong P.S. to throw your prospect over
the top. You could use the P.S. to introduce a surprise benefit, convey
urgency, or offer a special bonus related to what you’re selling. (Most
copywriters offer a bonus like a special report, audio CD, or calculator
that the prospect can keep even if he cancels — so he stands to gain
in the long run. Maybe even get something for nothing.)
Let’s take a quick look at this basic structure on a simple 1-page sales letter.
This famous “9 Reasons” letter for Trans-Lux Corporation illustrates the
effectiveness of focusing on benefits versus features. Written by a copywriter
at William Steiner Associates of New York, it includes 9 very strong bullet
points that each highlight a unique and useful benefit the reader will enjoy if
he or she buys a Trans-Lux Teleprinter. Notice that the benefit always comes
first in the bullet, followed by details or features that offer proof.
By the way, the letter on the next page is featured in The Greatest Direct
Mail Sales Letters of All Time by Richard S. Hodgson. If you can only buy one
reference book on direct marketing… this is the one!
Lastly…

The Order Device

Here’s where you turn your prospect into an actual buyer.
But to do that… you must use this element to reinforce his buying
decision. You must reactivate his initial desires and eliminate any possible
buyer’s remorse.
That being said, effective order devices and web pages restate benefits,
restate the money-back guarantee, and restate the special bonus (if
applicable). There are good order devices. Then there are GOOD order
devices. So take your time. Make this element as strong as you possibly

3-56 Part 3
H
E
A
D
L
I
N
E

LEAD

OFFER

BODY

CLOSE

P.S.

Part 3 3-57
can. Here’s an example of what a strong order device looks like:

Let’s introduce those selling techniques I mentioned earlier…

Creating the Picture

Remember this technique? This is where you paint a compelling image in
your reader’s mind… to “connect” him with your product or service.
Some of the most effective pictures in direct response have been only a
few lines long. So don’t go overboard here. Paint the picture just enough
so your prospect can see himself reaping the benefits that you’ve laid out
for him. Then, once he’s hooked, move on.
How else can we move our prospect closer to the sale?

Using Your Picture to Make Your Promise Feel Real

— Will Newman
Let’s say you’re selling men’s vitamin supplements. Your promise
could be that the reader will reduce the arterial inflammation that is a key
factor in heart disease. Your picture could be something like:
“Imagine the day you take the mortgage firmly in hand and burn it in the
fireplace. A few short years ago, you weren’t sure you’d be around long
enough to see this proud day. But you took action. You made sure you
strengthened your heart by reducing life-threatening arterial inflammation.
And now, the only ones prouder than you… are your family.”

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 The Unique Selling Proposition (USP)
You guessed it… we show him how our “widget” is the best and
only answer to all his wants and desires. How it’s different, unique, or
fundamentally better than anything else around.
That’s a tall order, isn’t it? That’s why USPs are most effective when they’re
woven throughout a letter.
Because the more times you
“The greatness of art is not to find
can remind your prospect
what is common but what is unique.” that your product or service
— Isaac Bashevis Singer offers a truly unique solution,
the more likely he is to buy.
So do some research. Find out what makes your “thing” a better solution
than the competition’s “thing.” Does it save more time for your prospect?
Make him smarter than his colleagues? Try to find your angle… then think
of different ways to convey that message.
Here’s another technique you might use…

Subheads
As you learned before, subheads make everything a little bit easier for your
prospect. They break down larger ideas into digestible bits. They draw the
reader’s eye to your most important copy. And they allow him to get the
basic thrust of your letter quickly and painlessly.
So when you write your letter, don’t forget to include a handful of
subheads. They’ll increase your letter’s readability and keep your prospect
engaged in the copy.
With subheads, you’re actually “selling” the reader on wanting to continue
to read your letter. So they should read like mini-headlines, full of benefit-
oriented tidbits.
And don’t forget to use…

Part 3 3-59
 The False Close
This is a wonderful technique for breaking up a linear argument.
Remember, if your letter is too predictable, you give your prospect the
opportunity to race ahead and say, “I know what this is… and I don’t need
it.” So you have to change the pace from time to time… leap around a
little… to keep him interested.
The false close is a perfect place to do this. Your prospect is expecting
the sale, but instead you pull the plug on him and switch to something
completely different.
It might sound something like this:

You’re probably wondering how to get hold of this

(product) by now. I’ll tell you in just one moment.
But before I do, I’d like to tell you a little story
about an experience I had a few years ago…

Then you go on to tell a story about how you found miraculous benefits
from the product. Your story can then lead straight back to the real close
— but now, it’s stronger. Your prospect isn’t “prepared” for it anymore. His
defenses, his objections, are down.
There you have it. All the elements and techniques for a successful direct-
marketing letter are right at your fingertips. Now, you just have to start
writing…

A Brief Word About Writing Copy…

This is tricky. We can’t write your copy for you.
Just keep in mind that everybody is different. Some copywriters write way
too much, going on and on about every little detail. Then they go back and
cut out the slack. Others have trouble writing enough, painfully squeezing
out copy word by word.
Almost all writers agree that the toughest part of the job is getting started.

3-60 Part 3
 Some spend hours staring at that blank sheet of paper or computer screen
before the words start to flow.
But they also agree that it’s vital to set goals and to be self-confident in
order to succeed in any career. Follow these tips from other AWAI members
to build your path to copywriting success…

en do something every da y
Be clear on your goals, and th
you feel like it or not.
to reach those goals, whether
eir goals, not because it’s
Lots of people never reach th
unwilling to fully commit
impossible, but because they’re
to them on a daily basis.
When the “Can I really do this?” dou
— Mike Klassen bts try to creep into your
thoughts, acknowledge they are the
re. Then tell them to go away
and immerse yourself in reading
or writing or researching to get
your mind busy. Don’t ever cave in
and give up. These questions
are really telling you that you’re
very close. Just keep going!
— Vicky Heron

For you, though, that won’t be much of a problem. After all, you already
have your lists of features and benefits… and if you don’t, now is the time
to get to work on completing them.
We’ve given you a strong foundation and overview of the structure of a
direct-response letter. Now, we’ll be reviewing in detail each element and
how you’ll use each to put together your own samples.
In the next section, we’ll show you how to write powerful headlines that
grab your prospect by the lapels.
Here’s to happy writing!

Part 3 3-61
Headlines — Grabbing Your Prospect
By the Lapels
By Mark Morgan Ford

W hen your prospect opens your letter or email, the very first thing he
sees is your headline. It must reach out, grab him, and lead him into
the copy.
But… easier said than done. Headlines are funny creatures. Sometimes you
come up with one even before you start writing. And it’s so powerful you
can build your entire promotion around it. In fact, it’s so clear and strong
that the entire package seems to just flow from it.
More often, though, you have to sweat and grunt and spend hour after
frustrating hour trying to put your finger on just the right words. You may
even write the whole letter first and then come back to the beginning to
finally get the headline right.
Now, there’s a lot of conventional wisdom out there about headlines. The
best book on the subject, as far as we’re concerned, is from our own AWAI
Panel of Experts member Bob Bly. In his best-selling book, The Copywriter’s
Handbook, Bob does a great job of explaining the fundamentals of
headlines.

20 Attention-Getting Words and Phrases

That Can Supercharge Any Headline …
Ÿ Discover Ÿ It’s Here Ÿ Sale
Ÿ Easy Ÿ Introducing Ÿ Why
Ÿ Free Ÿ At Last Ÿ How To
Ÿ New Ÿ Guarantee Ÿ Just Arrived
Ÿ Proven Ÿ Bargain Ÿ Now
Ÿ Save Ÿ Last Chance Ÿ Announcing
Ÿ Results Ÿ Quick
Source: The Copywriter’s Handbook by Bob Bly. This book is considered the “beginning
copywriter’s bible” by many direct-response companies, including L.L. Bean.

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 So before we go any further, let’s review some of the headline basics that
Bob Bly points out in his book. First, the primary purpose of any headline…

HEADLINES GET ATTENTION!

Seems obvious, doesn’t it? But just wait until
you try writing them…
Seriously, it’s amazing how far off-track
writers can get. Some writers get completely
lost by trying to be cute or clever. Others try
to pack too much information into the headline.
As a result, it gets too complicated — and that
weakens it.
Remember, you have only about five seconds to get your
prospect’s attention. If you haven’t grabbed his interest by
then, you’ll never get it.
According to David Ogilvy, one of the legends of advertising, the headline
is the most important part of an ad. On average, five times as many people
read the headline as read the body copy.
So with your headline, your client has essentially spent eighty cents out of
his advertising dollar.
Using the same logic, you
“If you haven’t done some selling in could spend eighty percent of
your headline, you have wasted 80 your time writing the headline
percent of your client’s money.” and it wouldn’t be wasted.
— David Ogilvy That’s just how important the
headline is.
Use your headline to target a specific audience. In other words, great
headlines have a positive and negative effect. They attract the target
audience and let the rest of the world know the message is not for them.
The purpose of the headline, most copy experts say, is to get the prospect

Part 3 3-63
to read the sales letter. But that is not entirely true. If it were, almost any
outrageous headline would do.
Great headlines — like great envelope teasers — do more work than that.
They attract attention. They arouse curiosity. But they also must bring the
prospect into the letter with the right emotional expectations… emotional
expectations the copywriter will tap into later to sell the product.

Building a Powerful and Compelling Headline

One of the oldest ideas about headlines is that they should be short —
fewer than eight words. So let’s take a look at the headlines of some of the
super-successful direct-response promotions published in the AWAI Hall of
Fame book to see how this theory holds up:
llTrout Spoken Here. Also Bass. Salmon. And Bonefish.
llWhat Never to Eat on an Airplane
llProfit With the Insiders Without Breaking a Law
llRead This Or Go Broke!
llBurn Disease Out of Your Body
llA Rare Opportunity to Turn $5,000 Into $3.52 Million
llTax Saving Information Most IRS Agents Don’t Have
llFearless Conversation!
llThe Lazy Man’s Way to Riches
llEndangered Antidotes
ll11 Medical Breakthroughs That Will Rock the World
llThe Plague of the Black Debt
When it’s all said and done, 26 headlines in the AWAI Hall of Fame contain
eight words or fewer.
If you stroll through Carl Galletti’s “2001 Greatest Headlines Ever Written,”
you’ll find that about 60% of the headlines contain eight words or fewer.

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Most telling for me, however, is this: Of the dozen or so direct-response
promotions that worked best for my clients this year, the lion’s share had
short headlines:
llFed Up?
llUnlock Wall Street’s Secret Logic!
llThe Coming Oil War!
llNot Just for Millionaires Any More
llThe Greatest Opportunity of Our Times
So what can we conclude from all this? How about this? Although there
are plenty of exceptions, it seems clear that when it comes to headlines,
brevity is a virtue.
What’s so good about brevity? Let’s start with the obvious. Short headlines
are easy to scan. A headline of five or six words, printed boldly on top of a
letter, across an envelope, or at the top of an email cannot be missed. Its
power to attract the eye is almost 100%.
Contrast that to a headline that is almost a paragraph long. It may very well
“work,” but only after a significant number of prospects have dumped it in
the trash basket or deleted the email because they:
a) recognized it as advertising and
b) made an instant decision that they didn’t have 15 or 20 seconds to
read it.
That never happens to a short headline.
And if your sales letter is used online, a short headline also works really
well as an email subject line. (Jay White will go into more detail about email
subject lines in the next section of the program.)
However, getting your headline read doesn’t guarantee success. Unless
your headline says something that links with your promotion’s Big Idea, is
compelling, and implies a benefit, it will end up in the same trash basket
— just a second or so later.

Part 3 3-65
Great headlines — breakthrough headlines — are “tipping point”
phenomena. They encapsulate the cutting-edge thoughts, feelings, and
beliefs that a given group of people feels about a specific thing.
When, for example, Lee Euler wrote his blockbuster headline
for Strategic Investment, “THE PLAGUE OF THE BLACK
DEBT,” he correctly identified what was a major investment
anxiety. The black plague metaphor was just the thing, it
turned out, to quickly summarize a complex and powerful
fear about U.S. debt and financial markets.
The importance of limiting the length of your main headline
doesn’t mean you have to scrap longer copy as part of your headline.
If your main headline grabs your prospect’s attention in five to eight
words, you can build on your prospect’s interest and curiosity with strong,
compelling deck copy — copy that comes between the main headline and
“Dear Friend,” as shown below:

3-66 Part 3
To be successful, deck copy need to be as powerful and compelling as
any headline component. And, if it builds on the excitement of the main
headline, you most likely have a winner on your hands!
So that, in a nutshell, is the conventional wisdom on headlines. And this is
very helpful information when you’re just starting out in the business. (In
fact, I would recommend Bob Bly’s books and David Ogilvy’s books for any
aspiring copywriter. They’re loaded with wonderful advice.)
But today, I want to take you a step further and share a secret technique
that has made AWAI copywriters’ headlines among the most successful in
the world.
When you use this secret, you’ll never have to rely on arbitrary tips and
rules to create rock-solid headlines. You’ll know how to create them
intuitively.
So without further ado, let me introduce…

The Secret of the Four U’s©

The Four U’s© describe the four critical parts that can supercharge any
direct-marketing bullet, any subhead… and any headline.
It’s like a power-packed copy vitamin. You use it and suddenly your
headline has more power, more strength, and more energy. Things just
start working better for you.
What are the “Four U’s©”? They are…

URGENCY USEFULNESS
The headline should give the The headline should communicate
prospect a reason to desire the something of value to the prospect.
benefit sooner rather than later.

Part 3 3-67
 UNIQUENESS ULTRA-SPECIFICITY
The headline should suggest that what Vagueness should be avoided at all
it’s offering is in some way different from costs. The prospect must know what
everything else of its type. All claims specific benefits are in store for him.
should be uniquely associated with
a certain product or service.

The secret of the Four U’s© is deceptively simple. When put together,
they hook your prospect’s interest, entice him with a benefit, establish
credibility, and urge him to read on.
Any time you have a so-so headline that needs a little sprucing up, you can
apply our Four U’s© formula and instantly strengthen it.
Consider how these four promises offer solutions that are Urgent, Useful,
Unique and Ultra-Specific…

Save $1,560 a year dining out! Just flash one of these

cards and you’ll automatically save up to 50% at 1,870
fine restaurants worldwide, while supplies last!

How to make $10 million, improve your health, and have a

really good tan… all before dinner tonight.

A virtual cure for arthritis that stops the soreness and

pain — and rebuilds new cartilage in less than 30 minutes.

Starting tomorrow, you can have better sex at 40 than

you did when you were 21. “These simple exercises can
increase sexual performance,” says Dr. Smith.

In fact, when you apply the Four U’s©, your headline will not only grab
attention, it will perform several other functions …

3-68 Part 3
 What Else Can Your Headline Do?
It can…

1. Grab your prospect’s attention.

2. Target your prospect by saying something
meaningful to him.
3. Stir curiosity.
4. Make a promise.
5. Introduce a compelling idea.
6. Make an offer.
7. Challenge the prospect.

Now that I’ve told you what the Four U’s© let you do, let me tell you the two
things they don’t allow you to do…

What Your Headline Should NEVER Do

Say something standard or conventional. Because if your
prospect can guess where you’re going, he’ll save his time and
stop reading.
Mislead or trick the prospect. If you make a promise in the
headline and fail to deliver in the body copy, you’ll not only lose
your reader’s trust, you’ll lose his sale.
Got it? When you use the Four U’s©, you’ll not only know in which direction
to go, you’ll also be shielded from pitfalls along the way.
Now that we’ve talked about the Four U’s©… let’s see how they work in the
real world of direct-response headlines.
You’ve seen this headline from your AWAI Hall of Fame collection before,
but it’s so strong, we want you to consider it again…

Part 3 3-69
 The Simple, Direct — and Powerful — Approach

What do you think about this one? Does it get your attention? It sure got
mine. First of all, we’re used to thinking that you have to kill disease with
drugs, radical chemical treatments, or painful surgery. Then we read, “Burn
Disease Out of Your Body” Must mean no drugs or surgery. Hmmm…
That stirs my curiosity.
Secondly, the word “burn” acts as a powerful metaphor. People understand
that when you burn something out, it’s gone forever. And that’s what
they’re really seeking… to “burn” or completely eradicate disease. “Burn”
also implies a quick and easy solution.
Now, let’s see what kind of score it gets when we apply the Four U’s©…
Is this headline urgent? Yes. The prospect is given a real reason to find out
more about this exciting treatment today. Especially if he’s already in pain.
Then he’ll really want to know how he can end his suffering.
Next up… usefulness. Does this headline have value to the prospect?
Certainly. The health-conscious prospect is grabbed — instantly. And he
gets the message that this is quick and easy. No doctors, no hospitals, no
drugs, no exercise, no work at all.
What about ultra-specificity? Yes, again. The prospect knows he can learn

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how to burn disease out of his body by rubbing himself with the palm of
his hand.
Lastly… uniqueness. Check. The prospect knows that the copywriter isn’t
just making up this claim. He must be talking about a certain technique
where you lie on your back and use the palm of your hand. He can’t be
talking about a regular massage. Or acupuncture. Or a hot bath. It must be
some special technique.
Pretty good headline, isn’t it? It scored 4 points out of 4 on the Four U’s©
test. And that’s no small feat. But even headlines that don’t pass all Four
U’s© can still be extremely strong. Generally speaking, you’ll be shooting
for headlines that score between 3-4 points when you write your direct-
response sales letters and emails. (In just a bit, we’ll look at some excellent
3-point headlines.)
Here’s another good one. The envelope copy says…

Bills It’s Okay to Pay Late

Even though this copy is grammatically incorrect (it should say, “Bills that
are okay to pay late”), it certainly rouses curiosity. Wouldn’t you just love
to know what they are? Even if you never pay your bills late, you’d still like to
know, just in case…
Another great headline from earlier times shouts:

Part 3 3-71
Pretend that airlines still feed passengers during flights — and you’re one
of those passengers. In that case, what does this headline do? Well, it tugs
at the curiosity that dwells in most of us. “What should I never eat on an
airplane?” you ask yourself. “Gee, I’d like to know. I fly a couple of times a
year… ” And you’re hooked.
Both of these headlines are classified as “fascinations,” because they arouse
interest or curiosity. Developed by legendary copywriter Gene Schwartz,
these small bits of benefit-oriented copy immediately involve the reader
and pique his interest. (By the way, Gene’s book “Breakthrough Advertising”
is considered by many to be greatest book ever written on direct-marketing
and advertising. It’s such a rare, in-demand book that I recently saw original
hardcover copies going for nearly $400 on Amazon.com.)
What else do these fascinations do? Let’s look at the last one and see how it
measures up on the Four U’s© test…
Does it create urgency? Yes. The prospect wants to find out right away what
these potentially harmful airline foods are so he can avoid them at all costs.
Usefulness? Check. Even the most casual flier could benefit from this
information.
Uniqueness? Yes and no. It seems like the writer is referring to certain
airline foods, but we can’t be absolutely sure. We’ll give it a half-point.
And what about ultra-specificity? Same thing. We’ll also give it a half-point.
Overall, this got 3 points… a score you should be shooting for when you
sit down to write your own headlines. Note that this particular headline
doesn’t need to be very specific or unique because the lack of information
is precisely what draws the reader into the copy.
Here’s one more…

Own This 24-kt. Gold Watch for $5

If You Respond By June 25

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As you can see, this is a very direct headline. There’s absolutely no confusion
about what you’re getting here. The offer is clearly stated.
As a result, the target prospect is immediately interested in the copy.
How could he possibly get a 24-kt. gold watch for $5? That seems like an
incredible deal.
But… he can’t get the deal if he waits too long. He must respond by June
25. A direct appeal to urgency. (1 point)
Is this information useful? Yes. Anyone who is interested in watches or gold
jewelry would be interested in this offer. (1 point)
Unique? This claim could be about any gold watch, so I’d say it’s not
particularly unique. (no points)
And finally… is it ultra-specific? Yes. We know the watch is 24-kt. gold and
that it can be ours for the super-low price of $5. (1 point)
Again, we have a solid 3-point headline.

Another Plain, Simple Approach — As Easy As 1-2-3

Another way to make a direct impact with your headline is with numbers.
Here are three examples…

7 Reasons Why You’ll Make

More Money Investing in
Telecommunications Companies
6 Simple Steps to Better Health
8 Ways to Beat the Taxman
When you use specific numbers, it’s easy for your prospect to see where
you’re going and why he should read on. So don’t forget to add numbers
when you get the chance.

Part 3 3-73
 Now, let’s move one step
“I’ve always wanted to be somebody, beyond the use of direct
but I see now I should have been headlines and use a secret of
more specific.” — Lily Tomlin the Masters — what we call
“The Secret of Indirection.”

The Secret of Indirection

This one comes from master copywriter Bill Bonner, Founder of Agora
Publishing, principal author of The Daily Reckoning financial column, and
author of two New York Times best-selling books. Bill has written some of
the most impressive controls in the direct-response industry.
Here’s how his secret goes… when you write direct headlines (like the ones
you’ve just seen), you raise your prospect’s sales resistance. He knows you’re
trying to sell him and is more likely to resist your offer.
So instead of telling your prospect what’s coming, you lead him into it in a
roundabout way. That way, he’s more open to your sales message.
Let’s look at a couple of examples.
First, from a classic letter promoting the Porter Stansberry Investment
Advisory newsletter…

There’s a New
Railroad Across America
And it’s making some
People very rich…
This headline, written by Porter himself, was written to attract any investor
on the lookout for new opportunities. But, it was just a little bit clever.
Because the letter wasn’t really about a new railroad stock.
The new railroad was the Internet! The writer talks about all the money

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that can be made on the Internet if you get in right away. This was wildly
successful a while back… and these days, he could be talking about Social
Media, blogs, online video marketing or the next new big thing online.
He likens your great opportunity to the one faced by the first investors
in our railroads. The idea is that if you get in early on this breakthrough
opportunity, you too can become rich like the railroad giants.
Notice how this headline eases you into the copy and how you’re intrigued
and fascinated by it. Had Porter’s headline simply said, “Find Out How You
Can Become Rich Off the Internet,” your level of resistance would rise. First
of all, the headline wouldn’t seem believable. You’d probably think it was
talking about some kind of get-rich-quick scheme. Secondly, you’d know
right off the bat that you were going to be sold. And nobody likes that.
The letter begins…

Dear Investor,
Imagine yourself wearing a top hat and tails, on the
balcony of a private rail car, the wind whistling past
you as you sip the finest French champagne…
It’s 1850; the railroad is growing like a vine towards
the west. And, although you don’t know it yet, the
same rail that you are riding on today will soon more
than triple your wealth, making you and your family
into one of the great American dynasties…
America’s economic history is illuminated by stories
of quick fortunes made by daring entrepreneurs with
new technologies — railroads, motorcars and more
recently, computers…

What about the Four U’s©? Urgency? Yes. The prospect wants to cash in on
the opportunity NOW. Usefulness? Definitely. What about uniqueness?
Yes. We know it’s some special kind of new railroad. Lastly, ultra-
specificity. Here’s our only “no.” This headline is not really specific. But
that’s the whole secret of indirection. You lead the prospect in with an
intriguing idea and then you move into details.

Part 3 3-75
Again, this is an extremely strong headline and scores 3 points on our Four
U’s© scale.
Lastly, one more powerful headline…

It Has More Oil Reserves Than

Exxon and You Can Own It Now
for $1.60 a Share
The prospect reads this headline and immediately thinks he’s going to
hear about a stock. But he’s mistaken. Because this letter is really about a
special advisory service that targets natural resource stocks. The idea is that
if you want to learn how to profit from natural resources, you really need
the insider advice. Once again, we’ve got a headline that indirectly leads
the prospect into the promise. It doesn’t say, “Build Wealth With the Most
Sophisticated Financial Service in the World…”
This headline is also useful, unique, and stresses urgency. And again,
because it’s using the technique of indirection, it’s not attempting to be
ultra-specific. Overall, this is a very strong headline.

Do You See What We’re Getting At Here?

In the beginning, try writing powerful, direct headlines that clearly
communicate your promise, offer, or idea. Then, step it up a notch to join
the greats. That’s when you’ll be writing headlines and promotions that
mail or email again and again.
Now it’s time to test yourself a little…
Rate these headlines based on the 4 U’s©. Try not to peek at our answers
below!

Save $1,560 a year dining out! Just flash one of

these cards and you’ll automatically save up to
30% at 1,870 fine restaurants worldwide.

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 The easiest way to make $10 million
while learning to improve your health
Apply this Nobel Prize-winning method
of futures investing — and turn $500 into
$4,820,000 in 30 days.
Now compare your assessment with ours below:
1. Unique, Ultra-specific, Useful. Could be more Urgent.
2. Useful. Could be more Urgent, Unique, and Ultra-specific.
3. Has it all. It’s Urgent, Unique, Ultra-specific, and Useful.
Four Interlocking Pieces of the Great Headline Puzzle
— Will Newman
An effective headline must fulfill four purposes that work
together. They all must be there… or your headline structure will
collapse. A powerful headline…
llBegins to develop a relationship with your prospect
llDelivers a complete message
llCompels your prospect to read more
llGrabs your prospect’s attention

Some Final Words on Headline Writing…

Remember, don’t try to be cute or clever. Direct is your best bet
1 in the beginning.

If you come up with a powerful headline that’s new and

2 creative, use it. But don’t be afraid to use proven formulas.
After all, there’s no need to reinvent the wheel if you don’t
have to.

Part 3 3-77
 Be careful when using a headline that asks a question. You
3 never, ever want to ask a question that can be answered in a
way that isn’t supported in your copy. (e.g., “Are You Happy
With Your Marriage?” or “Are You Looking for a New Home?”)

You can use a testimonial for a headline. You see, prospects are
4 used to having people tell them directly how good something
is. When they see a quote, they’re immediately alerted to the
fact that someone else is testifying for the information that’s
coming. Instant credibility.

Always use the Four U’s© to strengthen your headlines! Shoot

5 for a 3- to 4-point headline every time!

And after a while, writing headlines will become second nature to you. You
won’t even have to concentrate on them. You’ll just automatically come up
with idea after idea. But the only way to get to that point is to keep writing
headlines — and to use the Four U’s©!
Before we move beyond the subject of headlines, let’s talk about
subheads…

This Is a Subhead… Use It to Attract

Your Prospect and Win His Business!
Subheads are like miniature headlines that appear all throughout your
letter. They accomplish several purposes:
1. Subheads break up copy into manageable segments and move
your prospect into the copy. If your prospect has 15 pages of
unending copy in his hands, it looks like a lot of work to read it. He
has to make a decision, right away, whether or not to read your whole
letter. Without subheads, you’re inviting him to choose not to.
On the other hand, if it looks like he can simply scan the copy —

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 picking up points of information here and there — it’s inviting. He can
drop in and out without effort — and you have lots of opportunities
to pull him completely into your copy.
2. Subheads power your copy! A serious prospect will read your
letter from the first line to the last. A quick prospect will scan the
copy, looking for points of interest. You can satisfy both of them, and
exclude neither.
How do you do this?
By having tight copy flow from beginning to end. This will satisfy the
serious prospect. If you visually break up your copy with subheads,
you also invite the quick prospect to enter at any point. He may just
read sections, or he may go back and read the whole thing once
you’ve locked him in.
3. Sometimes subheads themselves can sell your product or service.
A wonderful example on the next page is the classic Wall Street Journal
letter, written by the late Martin Conroy, and mailed continuously from
1975 to 2003 (28 years!). The entire sales message is embodied in the
subheads…
This is what I call a soft offer. The benefits/promises are clearly stated in the
subheads, and the prospect doesn’t have to exert much effort to get the
general idea of the letter. This approach captures both the serious prospect
and the quick prospect.
On the other side of the coin is the hard offer. Here the subheads do not
directly sell the product or service. They are more oblique and ease the
reader into the copy. Generally, they appeal to the more serious prospect.

Part 3 3-79
3-80 Part 3
Here’s a great example from the Ken Roberts Company (Letter #15 in your
AWAI Hall of Fame book). Just check out how these subheads, which have
been excerpted from the sales letter, indirectly guide the reader right
through the copy from beginning to end…

Do you recognize this picture?

“The next step …”
It all began when I followed through with that one
(scary) idea … Once you know what direction to
face, this “secret” will propel you from there.
“The rich get richer and the poor get poorer”
refers to much more than money alone.
You’ll find out what this paraphrase of the ancient
proverb really means. But more importantly, you’ll
learn how to invoke its tremendous power!”
Anyone can do this …
What is this amazing technique?

The subheads in this letter go on and on like that…

The writer tells you a personal story, then motivates you to succeed, and all
the time you don’t really know what’s being sold… or if you’re really being
sold at all! Talk about indirect!

3 Important Points to Remember About Subheads…

1. Subheads should state benefits and connect to the main benefit of
your package.
2. Sometimes, if you just read the subheads, they can “sell” the product
or service.
3. Headlines that were good but didn’t quite make the cut for the
opening of your sales letter may well turn out to be useful subheads.
Next, Jay White has some helpful hints for crafting email copy headlines
and subject lines…

Part 3 3-81
Subject Lines — 10 Helpful Hints
for Crafting an Effective Email Copy
“Headline”
By Jay White
Jay White honed his copywriting skills in the radio and catalog
market — skills that have come in very useful writing email
autoresponders. Jay knows how to craft short, hard-hitting copy
that immediately gets the attention of his audience, quickly makes
a connection, and then delivers results. In his stellar albeit quiet rise
through the copywriting ranks, Jay has had the pleasure of working
with greats such as Alex Mandossian and Rich Schefren. Mandossian
has called him “The best autoresponder copywriter I’ve ever seen.” And Schefren
has courted him to be an exclusive copywriter on his team.

M ark Ford has been talking to you at length about headlines and how,
in the world of direct-response copywriting, they’re such a critical
piece of the puzzle. If you don’t have a powerfully effective headline, the
rest of the copy — no matter how well it’s written — can suffer greatly.
This not only pertains to the print world of direct-response, but the world
of email as well. Emails offer the marketer an easy, cost-effective way of
selling his products. An online (or offline) business owner who maximizes
his use of email marketing can double or triple the profits of his business in
a very short time.
But the key here is not to just “send an email.” Because in today’s world of
media frenzy, your client’s prospects are constantly bombarded with sales
messages from every direction — and email is no exception.
Look at your own inbox… how many sales-related emails do you receive
every day? Dozens? Hundreds? You can literally spend hours just sifting
through your email, trying to clear out the clutter and get to what’s really
important.
There is where the challenge lies: establishing that your client’s message

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is IMPORTANT, something that must be read as soon as possible. And it all
starts with the subject line…
Needless to say, your subject line is crucial to the success of your client’s
emails, because it’s the door that opens to the entire message. Unlike a
traditional headline, which usually stands atop of the body of
copy, a subject line stands completely ALONE. There’s nothing
else to see, nothing else you can scan down and look over,
no details to gather with a quick glance. If the subject line
doesn’t grab your prospect’s attention enough to elicit an
email open, then everything you’ve written INSIDE the email
is wasted copy, since not one word of it will ever be seen.
Therefore, the importance of the subject line in your email copy cannot
be understated. As a copywriter, you need to know exactly what’s going
to get the prospect to open and read your email… instead of deleting it
without even opening it.
Here are 10 time-tested, proven-to-work tips for crafting email subject lines
that entice… allure… attract… create curiosity… and simply BEG to be
opened.

1. Keep it short.
Research indicates that the shorter the subject line, the better. There
are many theories on why this is the case, but most experts agree it’s
because of the time factor. Prospects open their inbox to see email after
email begging for their attention. So they tend to scroll through them
quickly, scanning the subject lines to examine what’s most pertinent at the
moment. Which means the longer the subject line, the less likely it may be
to get looked at — let alone opened.
There are other reasons that shorter subject lines tend to get opened more
than longer ones. In your email inbox, there’s only so much horizontal
room on one line. And with most email setups, you’ll have a “From” field,
a “Subject” field, plus the date the email was received. There are only so
many character spaces to go around, and this real estate becomes VERY

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valuable. If your subject line goes too long, it may “bump” into another
field’s space, causing the remaining words and letters to turn into an ellipsis
(those three little dots you occasionally see at the end of a sentence to
indicate that there’s more…).
While this isn’t necessarily a “kiss of death” for your email, it does drop the
open rate considerably. And why? Because most people won’t take the
time or effort to see what’s on the other side of that ellipsis. There are just
too many other emails to consider. This means yours gets deleted without
even being opened.
Of course, every copywriter and marketer has his own definition of what
“short” actually means in a subject line. One leading online direct marketer
I know strives to keep his email subject lines under 25 characters total.
Others will stretch this out considerably or lower the bar even further. So
there’s no right or wrong number here. What you need to remember is to
make your subject line as intriguing as possible in as few words as possible.
Take a look at these two examples:

Subject: Watch This Free Video To Get Insider Access To

Our Webinar on How To Become a Six Figure Copywriter!
Subject: Free Videos Reveal Copywriting Success Secrets

The first subject line tells a lot about what’s going on, but it also uses a
whopping 100 characters, which is typically excessive for a subject line.
However, the second example only uses 46 characters, yet gives all the
information needed on what’s inside.
So, when crafting your own subject lines, always think to yourself, “Can I say
this in fewer words without losing effectiveness?” You’ll be surprised at how
much better your subject lines will be (and how many more opens you’ll get).

2. Intrigue is your friend.

In the early days of email, open rates were almost through the roof for most
marketers. Why? Because email was still such a novelty that we basically

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 opened ANYTHING we got — no matter what it was! Some marketers even
refer to this as the “golden age” of email, because it was so incredibly easy
to sell — just press the “send” button to a list and they would gobble up
whatever sales message was presented. It was almost like printing money.
But as our lives got busier,
“Either write something worth reading and more and more
emails starting flooding
or do something worth writing about.”
into our inboxes, open
— Benjamin Franklin rates began to plummet.
And marketers needed to
find newer and better ways to entice prospects into opening their emails.
That’s where intrigue comes in…
Creating intrigue in your email subject line is a powerful tool to making
the reader take the next step. Intrigue taps into the basic human tendency
toward curiosity, the essential need inside all of us to “know more.”
This is what I call “the National Enquirer effect” because of the way that
magazine pulls people into buying with just a few words plastered on the
cover. Why do you think these gossip rags are always placed in checkout
lines (some of the most prime real estate in a store)? Because they sell, and
sell BIG. Millions of copies every week are bought by people who have a
need to know more. And you can use that same technique in your email
subject line copy.
Here’s an example of an intriguing subject line for a golf product…

Subject: Tiger Woods called this swing “frightening”…

Whose swing is it? Why is it frightening? And why would Tiger — the best
golfer in the world — be affected by it in this way? These are all questions
that cannot be answered — UNLESS you click open the email. The copywriter
has presented a lot of intrigue here, perfectly targeted toward his golf-savvy
audience with the mention of Tiger Woods. And this email had a HUGE
opening rate.

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 So when you’re searching for a great subject line, don’t always go with
the obvious. Dig a little deeper and see if you can tap into your prospect’s
curiosity by offering something a bit more vague — but nonetheless just
as interesting. After all, enquiring minds want to know!

3. Avoid spammy language.

We’ve all seen them. Those emails that flood our inbox in droves, claiming
that we’ve received an unknown inheritance or have won the lottery or
can make 8 trillion dollars in one day using some newfangled product. Yes,
we’re talking about spam, the proverbial boil on the bottom of the email
marketing industry.
Spam is basically
“Like almost everyone who uses email, unsolicited email that’s
blasted to millions
I receive a ton of spam every day. Much
of people who don’t
of it offers to help me get out of debt necessarily want it.
or get rich quick. It would be funny if it It can take all forms
weren’t so exciting.” — Bill Gates and shapes, offering
everything from
the highly specific to the completely outlandish. And it’s only geared
toward one thing and one thing only — getting as much of your contact
information as possible so they can send you even MORE spam (or worse,
steal your identity).
As a business owner, you deal with spam virtually every day. Even though
your inbox is set to send spam email to the “Junk” folder, there are always a
few that somehow sneak past your filters and end up in front of your face.
YUCK!
But let’s look at spam in another light for a moment — in the terms of
crafting a subject line…
Spam writers vary from the incredibly talented to the extremely verbally
challenged. In the same day you’ll see spam emails that look and seem
plausible (and downright intriguing) along with some that look like they

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were written by a second-grader. And this, my friends, is NOT what you
want to emulate.
Spam subject line language tends to by very hypey, very LOUD (see tip #5
below about not shouting), and very obnoxious. And as we see more and
more of these types of subject lines hitting our inboxes, we tend to get
a feel for what’s legit and what’s a load of bull. And the “bull” emails get
deleted without even a thought.
This means, as a subject line writer, you need to avoid anything that looks
even remotely spammy. The easiest way to do this is to open your own
“Junk” folder.
Examine the types of subject lines in there, how they’re structured,
what they say, how they come across. This is what you DO NOT want to
do. Because most email filters are set to send messages with spammy
language straight to the “Junk” folder, never to be seen again. So even
if your client’s email DID reach the actual inbox, chances are it would be
instantly deleted by the reader because of a spammy subject line.
So make sure you check your subject line several times before sending
copy to your client. Read it out loud. See if it sounds spammy in the least. If
it does, strike it immediately and come up with something else. Your client
will thank you.

4. Initial caps only.

Here’s something that’s been tested multiple times in regards to open rates…
An email subject line that contains initial caps — having only the first letter
of the main words capitalized — tends to get more opens than an email
subject line with all lower case letters or all upper case letters.

Much like the shorter subject lines we talked about earlier, theories on why
this happens vary. But when you look at a subject line in all three formats,
a few things stand out. For example:

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 Subject: free videos reveal copywriting success secrets

Subject: FREE VIDEOS REVEAL COPYWRITING

SUCCESS SECRETS

Subject: Free Videos Reveal Copywriting Success Secrets

Which one was easier on the eyes to you?

The first with all lower case letters is very bland and doesn’t do anything to
stand out. Therefore, the reader may skim over this subject line entirely.
The second example is just the opposite — EVERYTHING stands out, but
to the point that the reader feels shouted at. In the digital world, this is a
big-time no-no, and would most likely cause the reader to reject the email
immediately.
The third example, however, has a nice balance of each element that’s
easy to read and quick to consume. Plus, we’ve been “trained” by print
marketers and advertisers over the years to see headlines in this manner.
They convey that this important message needs to be read. So there’s a
sense of familiarity there that doesn’t occur with the other two examples.
So, when putting together your email subject lines, think initial caps only.
They’ll be much easier to read, and you’ll most likely have a better open
rate. Plus, your audience won’t feel yelled at, which brings me to…

5. DON’T SHOUT!
This is a common mistake made by email marketers, especially those
who are just starting out. They want to make their message as loud and
as proud as possible, so they JACK UP THE LETTERS TO AS BIG AS THE
PAGE CAN HOLD AND SMOTHER THEM WITH MULTIPLE EXPLANATION
POINTS!!!!!! And then they’re amazed at why their email campaign didn’t
perform very well…
Truth is, there was a time when a message like this was very prevalent in
the advertising world. If you look at old ads from a hundred years ago,

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you’ll see a wide variety of examples of big, bold letters and in-your-face
statements. Obviously they did the trick, because virtually every business
seemed to be using this style of advertising at the time.
But in today’s Internet marketing age,
such a tactic would probably prove
to be disastrous. Emails with subject
lines that are in all caps and end with
one or more exclamation points only
do one thing: paint your client as a
carnival barker. And when’s the last
time you trusted a carnival barker
with your hard earned cash?
It may be tempting (especially if this is your first email copy client and
you’re looking to make a big splash), but avoid shouting at your reader at
all costs. It’s okay to use the occasional all-caps word or short phrase for
emphasis — just like it’s acceptable to use an exclamation point when
you really want to accentuate something. (If you scan this chapter, you’ll
see examples of both used sparingly. But that’s the word to remember —
SPARINGLY.) Caps and exclamation points are both like a good spice… just
a pinch adds flavor and substance. But too much can overwhelm the entire
dish and ruin it.

6. Use an ellipsis.
This is something I alluded to earlier but want to go into more detail about.
Because this is one of those “hidden secrets” that leading email copywriters
use to make their subject lines stand out from all the others…
When you see an ellipsis (such as the three little dots that ended the
sentence in the previous paragraph), it signifies that the author’s thought
is not finished yet, and there’s more to be said. It automatically signals a
continuation of some sorts. Could be on the next line, the next page, the
next chapter, or whatever. But one thing is for certain — there’s MORE to
be had.

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And when you tap into the natural human tendency toward curiosity (see
tip #2 above) using an ellipsis, there’s a good chance you can “pull” you
reader to the next line. Or in the case of an email, you can prompt your
prospect to open the message and continue reading.
For example, here are those two subject lines again:

Subject: Free Videos Reveal Copywriting Success Secrets

Subject: Free Videos Reveal Copywriting Success Secrets…

The first is fine as is. It’s a statement, clean and simple. But in the second
one, there’s the allusion to something more, in the form of an ellipsis…
something that we don’t quite know about, something that’s almost
mysterious in nature. You almost feel “pulled” to read the next line —
which, in this case, is inside the email itself.
When we’re talking about using an ellipsis in email subject lines, that’s
EXACTLY what we’re doing — pulling the prospect to take action and open
the email. But not in a bold, brassy way. It’s actually more of a gentle nudge
than a pull.
The ellipsis leaves the prospect hanging just enough that he feels he MUST
know what’s on the other side. So he clicks. It’s all very subtle and natural
— not forced or bullied. The reader feels like he’s making a decision based
on his own wants/needs/desires/problems. He’s not being sold anything
— just peeking behind the curtain to see what’s behind it.
Using an ellipsis in your email subject line can turn a ho-hum message into
a must-see almost instantly. But like all caps and exclamation points, don’t
go overboard. A message with too many ellipsis sprinkled around is clunky
and hard to read.

7. Ask a question.
Here’s a subject line strategy that’s EXTREMELY powerful, yet you don’t see
a lot of email copywriters taking advantage of it like they should…

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If you can mold and shape your email subject line into the form of a
question, you’ll once again be using natural human instincts to your
advantage. Because let’s face it — we’ve all been taught from the earliest
age to answer any question we’re asked, right? (See, you just answered me
in your head, whether you wanted to or not. GOTCHA!)
It’s one of the first things you learn — hear a question, answer the question.
And you don’t even have to do it audibly. You answer questions in your
mind all day long. Don’t believe me? Just watch Wheel of Fortune and see
how many times you answer the contestants when they ask for a letter.
In an email subject line, a question has much of the same effect as the
ellipsis. It entertains the notion of there being more to the story, something
that’s not quite finished. And when you ask a question in a subject line, the
automatic human response it to either A) answer or B) find an answer. So it
works something like this:

Subject: Free Videos Reveal Copywriting Success Secrets…

Subject: Did You See These Free Copywriting Videos?

Posing the second version as a question stirs a response that the first
version does not. It causes the reader to think for a moment and act upon
that notion. It virtually FORCES him to deal with the subject at hand —
hopefully with a click to find the answer inside the email.
See how simple this is? (Gotcha AGAIN!)
And what’s even better is you can use the question format inside your
email as well, especially right before placing a link to the page you want
the prospect to click through to. It works in the same exact way — causing
the reader to act in such a way that he’s been trained to act since before
school.
So next time, see if you can use a question in your subject line and watch
your open rates skyrocket!

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 8. Use first names.
When you’re trying to build a relationship through your emails — say, with
an autoresponder follow-up series — personalization can play a major role.
And one of those places where that role is most prominent is in the email
subject line.
Chances are, you’ll open almost all of the emails you receive from people
you are personally familiar with, like friends and family. And you don’t really
think about it — you just see an email from somebody you know, like, and
trust, and you open it. Marketers realized this early on, and developed a
way to personalize their own emails using “firstname” fields.
Here’s how they work…
The marketer will set up a web page asking for the reader’s contact
information (name, email address) in exchange for something of value.
This is called an “opt-in.” You’ve probably opted in for things yourself,
and you get emails from marketers selling related products and services
because of it.
When you opted in, your name went on a list of people to market to through
email. And before these messages come to you, there’s a personalization
field code installed into the copy that automatically pulls the first name of
the recipient out of the list and places it in the appropriate area.
So when you see an email subject line that say’s “Steve, We’re Having a Big
Sale,” the actual copy of that subject line may have looked something like
this when the marketer set it up using his email sending software:

Subject: <firstname$>, We’re Having a Big Sale

That weird looking thing at the front tells the computer program that sends
the emails to insert a first name there. And voila! Instant personalization.
Some studies and tests have indicated that adding the first name of
the recipient in the email subject line can cause a nice increase in open

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rates. The reader feels like this message is more personal than the others,
because he thinks, “Hey — they’re using my name! Only my friends know
my name!” So they’re more comfortable opening the email than if it
weren’t personalized.
If you can squeeze a first name into a subject line and it works with the
copy, by all means give it a try. But, if it makes the subject line too long
or causes it to sound forced and unnatural, then avoid it. You can always
personalize inside the body copy itself, as well.

9. Get the “lean in.”

When budding young copywriters ask me for the one single element that
will make or break their autoresponder emails, I can basically sum it up in
two words: I call it the “lean in.”
Here’s how it works…
Imagine an early morning gathering at your workplace. Might be the water
cooler, coffee machine, or munchie stop — any location where a few people
come together for a couple of minutes before heading
off to their desks.
Usually during this gathering, the typical
corporate gossip will start to emerge. Who’s
getting promoted, who was seen having
lunch with a married co-worker, who’s
extra crabby and should be avoided that
day… blah blah blah.
Now, picture yourself saying something
like:
“You wouldn’t BELIEVE what happened to me on the way to work today.”
Or, “I’m so mad I could spit nails…”
Or even, “I’m not sure if I can even say this or not…”

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What’s the immediate response? That’s right — everyone gets quiet, stops
what they were doing, looks directly at you…
…and LEANS IN.
Why? Because with that one line, you’ve completely set yourself up to
continue with something interesting… something that will engage your
audience for the next few moments and keep them there.
Could be funny. Sad. Shocking. Revolting. It doesn’t matter. What DOES
matter is that you’ve got their complete attention in the palm of your hand.
And it’s yours to do with as you please.
You see, we’re basically a bunch of nosey people. We gotta have the scoop,
all the scoop, and nothing but the scoop. So when somebody intimates
that they have the “scoop,” we automatically listen to see what’s going on.
We can’t help it!
This is a powerful tool you could even use for creating sizzling hot email
and autoresponder subject lines that engage readers and keep them from
deleting. If you can get the reader to “lean in” and listen to your client’s
voice, he’s suddenly intrigued in the conversation instead of giving it a
sideways glance.
With those few simple words, you’ll pull the prospect into the email and
give him a reason to stay — instead of going away.
Now you can take this same principle and apply it to your client’s email
subject lines!

10. Test, test, test.

Lastly, here’s a method that always helps you and your clients achieve
better results. But unfortunately, it gets lost in the shuffle much of the time.
TESTING!
Whenever you write an email subject line for a client, don’t just stop at
one. Go ahead and craft another 3, 4 or even 5 different subject lines. Make

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 them shorter, longer, mysterious, straight-forward, goofy, serious, whatever
you want. And then ask your client to test each one to see which pulls best.

To: Bill Smith

Subject: Did You See These Free Copywriting Videos?

To: Bill Smith

Subject: Free Videos Reveal Copywriting Success Secrets…

Because the truth is, email marketing is an inexact science. What works
for one client and/or niche won’t necessarily translate as well to another
one. It happens all the time. Someone will set up an email campaign with
perfectly crafted subject lines that are a sure bet to set open-rate records…
and it tanks horribly. Or they’ll throw something together with a subject
line that seemingly violates every
“Never stop testing, and your “rule” in the book and it pulls an off-
advertising will never stop the-charts response. You just never
improving.” — David Ogilvy know what’s going to strike a chord
with the audience.
That’s why it’s always a good idea to present a variety of different subject
lines to your client. Not only does it show that you’ve gone over and above
what you were asked to do, spending more time and effort to insure the
client’s success, it also shows you’re genuinely concerned about your
client’s results and you’re working your hardest to help them become
successful.
So go ahead — break the rules. Write some extra subject lines and test a
few that don’t seem to fit the mold. You may be pleasantly surprised at the
results.

Starting the Conversation with Your Reader — Listen as

Rebecca discusses the critical role headlines and subject lines
play in enticing your prospect to read your offer.

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 Now, it’s time for your exercises…

Exercise #12, #13

In Exercise #12, you’ll practice rating some headlines based on the Four U’s©.
And then in Exercise #13, you’ll apply what you’ve learned by starting to
craft 25 possible headline ideas or email subject lines for the sample sales
letter you’re working on.
Please go online to access Exercises #12 and #13…

The Lead — Sinking the Hook Into Your

Prospect
By Mark Morgan Ford

Y ou’ve already tentatively determined the attention-getting headline

you’re going to use for your sample sales letter. Now it’s time to work
on your lead…
This is the foundation of your letter. You can catch your prospect’s
attention with a good headline, but if you don’t engage him completely
with your lead, he’ll never read through your promotion.
So let’s get started. First off…

What’s a Lead?
Generally speaking, the term lead refers to the copy directly after the
headline. The lead delivers your big promise and introduces any important
ideas that will be woven throughout your letter.
There’s no hard and fast rule regarding the length of a lead. They come in

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 all shapes and sizes. Some move into the big promise and big idea right
away. Others ease into them more subtly.
For our purposes, though, we’ll say that the lead should take up about
10% to 30% of the copy following the headline. But no matter where your
lead falls within that range, remember that it must always accomplish two
things…
1. Deliver the big promise
2. Introduce the big idea
So when your prospect reads the lead, he should know what’s at stake and
why he should keep turning the pages.

Promises… Promises… Promises

Throughout this program, we’ve made references to promises. Promises
are simply claims about the benefits of your product or service. Notice that
I say benefits and not features. Promises always show the prospect what’s in
it for him…
What are some of the promises
“It takes a big idea to attract the of a table lamp? How about…
attention of consumers and get the romantic ambiance a soft
light will provide… the ease
them to buy your product. Unless
with which you’ll be able to
your advertising contains a big idea, read, without having to squint
it will pass like a ship in the night.” and strain your eyes… and the
— David Ogilvy beauty and elegance it brings
to your room.
Notice how these promises deliver benefits.
What about a magazine? What are its promises? You may be offered 12
monthly issues, delivered to your door, for half of what you can buy them
for at any newsstand.
But is that what makes you buy? Do you ever wake up and say (as one of

Part 3 3-97
our expert panelists is famous for pointing out), “Gee, honey, we’re out of
magazines — I think I’d better buy some.” Of course not.
What motivates a prospect to buy a magazine is the idea that the information
in it will help him in some way… show him how to be more stylish, how
to eat better, lose weight… make more money… or get a better deal on
electronics, cars or boats. Those are the promises of a magazine.
Again, they communicate benefits.
Now let’s take it a step further…

The BIG Promise…the Overriding Benefit

So, what’s all this talk about the BIG promise? How is that different from
any other promise? Simple.
The big promise is the overriding benefit that your product or service
offers the prospect.
Let’s revisit our magazine example.
What’s the big promise here? It may be that the prospect will be a more
informed person who’s in complete control of his life. How will he be more
informed? By getting the inside scoop on a whole host of things… how to
lose weight, how to make more money, how to snap up bargains, and so
forth.
See how that works? The big promise encapsulates all the smaller promises
and brings them up a notch.
What’s the big promise of exercise equipment? It’s that the prospect will
be perceived as an attractive, powerful person. What about the latest
computer or touch-screen phone? Perhaps that he’ll become the most
efficient, technically adept “cutting-edge guy.” An educational program?
That he’ll be perceived as an intelligent person… or even, become more
secure with himself.
In essence, your big promise really taps into the deeper psychological

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benefits your prospect is seeking. So when you sit down to create your big
promise, scratch below the surface a bit. Delve into your prospect’s diverse
feelings, beliefs, and desires. What does he want? What does he crave?
What gets him excited and makes him scream for more? Then use that
understanding to formulate your promise.

Revealing Deeper Benefits

— John Forde
A deeper benefit is the unseen part of the product iceberg. It’s
the great goodness implied between the lines of your pitch. The larger-
than-life stuff. Often, it’s an intangible, emotional thing. It’s the feeling
beyond the feeling.
Trouble is, deeper benefits are more abstract. So, conveying them can be
difficult. Stating them outright doesn’t work. Deep benefits sink in much
better when they’re absorbed or realized, rather than stated or explained.
Here are four ways to solve this:
llTell a simple story
llKeep idea clutter to a minimum
llLay on the details, nice and thick
llKeep it real

Now, let’s look at a generic product that you could be selling… a multi-
vitamin, for example. Let me ask you a question… Do people really want to
buy vitamins? No. Why not? Because how do they really know they work?
I mean, you can’t directly see the results of vitamins. They don’t give you
big, bulging muscles or help you lose weight. They don’t get you a better
job. And they don’t help you save time or money. In fact, they cost a lot of
money!
Plus, you have to remember to take them every single day. (Some even
three times a day.) That sounds like work.
And even if you’re offering the vitamins at a great price, who wants to pay
money for something you have to remember to take… which, after all, may
or may not work.

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Hmm… Now making the sale seems a little harder, doesn’t it? Or does it?
What about the big promise?
What if you could show your prospect that this supplement is really the
magic bullet he’s been searching for… that he really can become the self-
confident, masculine man he deserves to be…
Ah, now we’re in business…

Remember: He Won’t Be Buying the Vitamins

— He’ll Be Buying Your Big Promise!
In every sales letter and promotional email
you write, you want to focus on the big
fundamental benefit that your product or
service can offer your prospect. You never
want to focus on the product or service
itself.
llNot the car — but how prestigious
he’ll look driving that car.
llNot the treadmill — but how sexy
she’ll become after she uses it.
llNot the financial newsletter — but
how he’ll be perceived as a powerful,
savvy man after he follows its advice.
llNot the vitamin supplement — but…
what?
Got it? Good. Now, let’s look at some
examples…
The following classic lead was written by Frank Johnson for American
Heritage magazine. (Frank Johnson is credited for inventing a sales-letter
offer-summary device now called “the Johnson Box.” More on that later!)

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Now, an amateur writer might talk about what a great magazine this is,
full of history and interesting stories — all for only $XX per year. Instead,
this writer makes a powerful promise to the prospect… the big promise of
privileged knowledge. Check it out…

Dear Friend:
You know why Lyndon Johnson vilified John F. Kennedy.
Why Jefferson sabotaged Washington.
Why Henry Ford destroyed his son.
Why FDR made secret tapes.
Why Truman summed up Lyndon Johnson with a curt: “No
guts!”
Or you should. And you can. With this invitation. It brings
you the next issue. And it brings it to you free. Thumb
through it. Read it a bit. See what you think. And receive a
great free book just for sending your reply.
American Heritage. It’s not the sugarcoated stuff that made
you want to sleep in school. It’s people as they really were.
Places as they really were. Moments as they really happened.
Myths as they were really made…

Here, Frank Johnson is implying that the prospect will acquire special
knowledge that will awe other people. And, as a result, it will earn him
prestige. This is a very effective — and subtle — appeal to pride.
Here’s another lead. This one is the Personal Improvement Corporation letter
written by copywriter Bob Matheo. It appears in the classic compilation,
The Greatest Direct Mail Sales Letters of All Time, by Richard S. Hodgson.

Dear Lover of Life:

I myself am middle-aged. I really enjoy life. But when I heard
that Dr. Hrachovec could help me live past 100, my first
reaction was, “Who wants to?”
I was thinking of some old people I’ve seen. Senile. Incontinent.
So weak they can hardly walk. If that’s what old age is, I don’t
want it.

Part 3 3-101
 But I soon discovered that isn’t the kind of old age Dr.
Hrachovec has in mind. His wish for all of us is:
LIVE YOUR LIFE FULLY
TO THE LAST DAY OF YOUR
ALLOTTED TIME.
And he shows us how to make that allotted time last 25
years longer than you might ordinarily expect.
How? By eliminating or reducing disease-inducing, life-
shortening errors before they do you irreversible harm.
He does not want you to buy injections or treatments.
He does not want you to buy vitamins or medications.
He does not want you to buy fancy exercise equipment.
He only wants you to “buy” the idea of avoiding errors.
And it costs you nothing — except discipline.

That’s quite a promise, isn’t it? Increasing your life span by up to 25 years…
without drugs, vitamins, or special equipment. Talk about benefit! But
there’s an even bigger promise implied in this lead, isn’t there? It’s the
power of completely controlling your own health.
Instead of trying to sell a book, this
“Promise, large promise, is the writer made a big powerful promise.
soul of an advertisement.” Yes, the product is a book that’s
— Samuel Johnson going to tell you how to live a full,
healthy life. But nobody except a
bibliophile wants a book. A book is ordinary. Conventional. It takes up
space. Gets in the way. Has to be put away. But first, it has to be read. And
that’s work.
But the promise is not the book. It’s power. Powerful secrets the prospect
can use to eliminate disease, heal himself, and turn back the hands of time…

That’s Exciting — and That’s What He’s Going to Buy!

To sell anything, you have to see beyond the actual product or service and

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get to the big promise you can make to your prospect. And you have to
make sure that promise connects with his core beliefs, feelings, and desires
in all their complexities.

How to Decide Where the Promise Should Be in Your Copy

— Mark Morgan Ford
Most direct-marketing copy I see has at least several paragraphs
at the beginning of each sales letter that sound good but do little selling.
As a general rule, you’ll probably find the “true lead” on the second or
third page.
To find the true lead of any package, cross out everything in the
beginning until you get to a single sentence that makes a strong promise.
In nine cases out of 10, this is where the sales letter should begin.
Ask yourself, “Where is the big promise?” And then, when you find it, see
if the letter wouldn’t work better if that were pushed ahead.

Before You Try Your Hand At It,

Let’s Do a Quick Review…
In the letters I’ve shown you so far in this section, you’ve seen big promises
made — promises to solve problems and satisfy desires.
llFrom the American Heritage letter: The promise of having knowledge
most people don’t have.
llFrom the Personal Improvement Corporation letter: The promise of
personally controlling your health.
Remember, you need to make a big meaningful promise to your prospect.
You’ve got to make him believe that the product or service you’re selling
can make him…
llPowerful
llSexy
llAdmired, or
llSought after… and so on.
Now, let’s master this important secret…

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 What’s the Big Idea?
By the time your prospect is through with your lead, he should not only
know what’s in store for him, he should also be mentally engaged in your
copy.
How do you engage your
prospect? You present
“Big ideas come from the unconscious. him with a big, thought-
This is true in art, in science, and in provoking idea.
advertising. But your unconscious has
Truth be known, most
to be well informed, or your idea will copywriters don’t even
be irrelevant. Stuff your conscious mind include ideas in their
with information, then unhook your copy. They think it’s a
rational thought process. You can help big waste of time. After
this process by going for a long walk, or all, the prospect is really
taking a hot bath, or drinking half a pint interested in the benefits
of the product… not the
of claret. Suddenly, if the telephone line
idea associated with it.
from your unconscious is open, a big Right?
idea wells up within you.”
— David Ogilvy Wrong! Fact is, if you want
to reach your prospect,
you have to appeal to his
intellect as well as to his appetite. And you do that by introducing a fresh,
compelling idea in your copy. An idea he can relate to and toss around in
his head.
Let’s look at some examples. First,
from the Organic Gardening lead
from Rodale, a leader in direct-
response marketing with more
than 26 million active customers in
its database…

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 Dear Gardening Friend:
If you’re working harder and enjoying your garden less…
…could be, you’re making a few common mistakes like our
friend in the color photograph on our outside envelope —
mistakes that may be causing you extra work and added
frustration.
Could be. Because one trait that the world’s best gardeners
have in common is how little physical labor they actually do.
It’s true.
After all, it’s not how much you do that leads to garden
success, it’s how much you know.
And right now, if you’d like to know more and work less…
…we’d like to send you — absolutely free — a copy of
THE BEST GARDENING IDEAS I KNOW, THE ORGANIC
GARDENING HARVEST BOOK and BUILD-IT-YOURSELF
HOMESTEAD
…these wonderful work-saving guides are yours just for
taking a no-obligation look at ORGANIC GARDENING
magazine.

What’s the big idea here? Well, it’s that knowledge lets you work less to get
more. Hmm… working less to get more. That’s certainly an appealing idea
to any gardener. No more backaches. No more blisters. No more battling
with pesky rodents and insects. Just smart gardening without all the hard
work and frustration.
As you continue reading the letter, there are many other smaller ideas
peppered throughout. For example, the concept of natural, organic
gardening. But we’re not worried about smaller, specific ideas in the lead.
(Just like we’re not worried about smaller promises.) We want the big
overriding idea to come through for the reader — to pique his interest and
drag him into the copy.
Here’s a very big idea. From the blockbuster Strategic Investment bookalog
written by copywriter Lee Euler, Plague of the Black Debt…

Part 3 3-105
 THREE LITTLE CHARTS AND THE
COMING “END OF THE WORLD”
You don’t have to be a conservative, a liberal, or anything at
all to understand that America is about to be flattened by a
tidal wave…
That’s right, folks. Now that Clinton’s budget bill has passed
— and if his economic projections are on target — we’re going
to add $1 trillion to the federal debt in the next four years.
That’s more than George Bush added in his four years. And
it’s almost as much as Reagan added in eight years.
It doesn’t matter whether you prefer my figures or Bill
Clinton’s. We’re merely talking about different shades of
disaster. When you’re dead, you’re dead. There aren’t some
people who are “more dead” than others.

Here, Lee Euler compares the national debt to a plague that sweeps over
the nation and drives it into depression.
That’s a pretty broad idea. But it’s easy to understand. And the prospect
can see right away how it can affect his life.
Not only that, it rouses his intellectual curiosity. After all, the growing
national debt is nothing new. We’ve been falling deeper and deeper into
debt for years and everything seems to be okay. But in this letter, it’s made
clear that the federal deficit will cause a catastrophic event. “Hmm,” the
prospect is likely to ponder, “there must be something I don’t know.” And
that’s just enough to make him read on…
What are some other big ideas that have been used in direct marketing?
Let’s see…
Less is more.
The government exists for its own welfare, not yours.
Emotions can kill you.
No matter how bad the market is, there are some investors who’ll
always make money.

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 Most people cannot be blamed for their weight problems. (And so
on.)
Get the idea?
Now, let’s turn to the sample letter you’ve been working on. What kind of
ideas could you introduce in your lead? Picture your typical prospect in
your mind’s eye. What would spur his interest? If you get stuck, look over
your materials again. Study the product. Review the data card (particularly
the buyer profile). Then get ready for…

Putting It All Together…

When you actually sit down to write your lead, you may change your mind
about the promise or the idea that you selected. In fact, many writers
make changes halfway
through a letter. They find
“Your eloquence should be the servant something fresher, newer,
of the ideas in your head. Your rule and more stimulating
might be this: If a sentence, no matter as they write. It just hits
how excellent, does not illuminate your them. And this is perfectly
subject in some new and useful way, fine. In fact, it’s a natural
part of the writing process.
scratch it out.”
Great copywriting takes
— Kurt Vonnegut a lot of thinking, writing,
and rewriting.
But in the beginning, we’re going to give you an easy way to approach
leads and save you some time at the drawing board. All leads — no
matter what their ideas and promises are — break down into two basic
categories… direct and indirect leads.

The Direct Lead:

“Just the Facts, Ma’am”
When you use the direct approach, you more or less state your big promise
in the offer right up front. For example…

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 Now you can DOUBLE your masculine power with Player
Cigars. And we’ll let you try them FREE for 30 days.

Right away, the prospect knows what’s at stake. There’s no confusion or

ambiguity. This strategy works well for products whose approximate value
is known, such as beds, watches, and jewelry. That’s because the reader, in
a sense, is already somewhat “sold” on the product’s worth…
But sometimes you’ll be selling things whose perceived value is not known.
In these cases, you’ll want to use the indirect approach…

The Indirect Lead:

“So, Let Me Tell You a Little Story… ”
It’s usually harder to price out services and information products, because
what they give you is mostly intangible. Take a financial advisory service,
for example. Sure, they might give you a newsletter. But, that’s not what
you’re really paying for. You’re really paying for its strategic money-making
advice, its savvy tips, and its insider secrets…
How much is that worth? $500, $1,000… $5,000? The average person just
doesn’t know. So you have to create the perceived value. The way you do
this is by adopting an indirect lead.
In the International Living letter you’ve seen earlier, Bill Bonner doesn’t
say, “Learn how to retire in luxury with our premiere travel communiqué.”
Instead, he paints a picture… a compelling picture of an idyllic retirement
in a tropical paradise…

You look out your window, past your gardener, who is busily
pruning the lemon, cherry, and fig trees… amidst the splendor
of gardenias, hibiscus, and hollyhocks.
The sky is clear blue. The sea is a deeper blue, sparkling with
sunlight.
A gentle breeze comes drifting in from the ocean, clean and
refreshing, as your maid brings you breakfast in bed.

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See how that works? By opening with this strong picture, he raises the
promise of the newsletter… and also the price tag.
But, creating a picture in your prospect’s mind of all the benefits he can
enjoy is just one technique you can use for an indirect lead. Here are
several others…
1. CHALLENGE THE PROSPECT. Ask him a question or make a statement
on a subject related to your product or service. Here’s an example from
Boardroom’s classic Bottom Line letter: “What never… ever… to eat on an
airplane!”…

This letter is about information that’s “none of your business.”

For example…
Did you know that certain specific foods they serve on planes
will lower your blood sugar count at high altitudes — leaving
you tired… cramped… headachy?
Now, perhaps you’re thinking, “Why would airlines want to
make me tired and grouchy?” Well, they don’t want to, of
course. But they do want to slice the cost of each meal — so if
it’s cheaper, and (artificially) tastier… then — why not!!

Here, Boardroom challenges the prospect to see what’s really going on

behind the scenes… a perfect way to sell a book on “insider” information.
2. CREATE A THREAT OR A WARNING. Describe a potentially harmful
situation. Here’s an example from Boardroom’s “Twelve Smiling Swindlers”
promotion…

They may act like your friends. But they’re not. That’s why
they hope you never look inside…
The Arrogant Doctor… who doesn’t listen and insists his way
is the only way.
The Greedy Lawyer… who bills you for work he’s never done.
The Pushy Real Estate Broker… who would rather make a
sale than sell you the right house.

Part 3 3-109
 The Tricky Travel Agent… who never intended to honor the
super-discounted rate she advertised.
The Lazy Accountant… who cuts corners on your tax return
and triggers an audit.
The Know-It-All Insurance Agent… who sells you a policy
that’s best for him — not you.
Look inside to PROTECT YOURSELF NOW!

This copywriter shows how each of the people the prospect depends on…
is actually out to get him. The prospect has no choice but to read on.
3. MAKE A PREDICTION. Predict an event that’s indirectly related to what
you’re selling.

A bank run like no other will hit every major bank on earth
in 1999.
A worldwide panic is now inevitable. It has literally been
programmed into bank’s computers.
Everything you own is now at stake. But there are steps you
can take now that will give you a head start on this crisis…

By predicting a future catastrophe, the writer spurs the prospect to search

for a solution to the problem. By the time he’s finished reading the letter,
he’s found the answer… a subscription to a Y2K newsletter.
4. REPORT ON A PIECE OF NEW INFORMATION. Share information the
prospect doesn’t know. Here’s an example from “Year 2000 Forecasts”…

If you’re like me, you’re sick of hearing about Y2K.

In fact, I’ve spent thousands of dollars in research,
commissioned a number of studies and come up with a
simple conclusion: The direct, technical fall out from the
Millennium Bug will be relatively minor here in the US.
But my research also turned up something quite unexpected
— an indication that, even if the roll-over to the year 2000

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 doesn’t cause a single computer to crash, we will still be
faced with a dire economic crisis.
Because of this discovery, you could make more money in
the next 184 days than you may have in the last five years
combined.
I’m not talking about slow, plodding gain. I’m talking about a
chance to double your money near-term… and make 2,000% or
more after that.

Notice how this shocking tidbit of information leads into a benefit for the
reader — the chance to double his money.
5. DEBUNK A MYTH. Shatter a common belief with evidence. Here’s an
example…

Got Milk?
Get Heart Disease
The Calcium in milk contributes to PMS, arthritis,
heart disease (the #1 killer of men and women).
There are much better ways to prevent osteoporosis
than with lots of calcium.
You’re probably getting too much calcium already…
Dear Friend,
Can milk cause heart disease?
Can your deodorant cause breast cancer?
In the program of a typical day, there’s a lot we take for granted.
We rarely stop to ask questions about everyday items. Like the
deodorant we put on this morning. Or the milk we have with
breakfast.
But we should.
For instance, milk advertising claims that drinking three
glasses of milk a day is healthy, and will protect you from
osteoporosis and its life-threatening consequences.
That’s a big, fat half-truth that’s being used to sell you more
milk…

Part 3 3-111
Most people think that milk is a good, wholesome food… but this writer
tells them otherwise.
Try Cross-Fertilization for a Big Idea
— Guillermo Rubio
Roger von Oech’s book, A Whack on the Side of the Head, offers
several tips on how to come up with a Big Idea, including “cross-
fertilization.” “Often the best ideas come from cutting across disciplinary
boundaries and look into other fields for new ideas.”
Apple CEO Steve Jobs once gave this example: “I went to Reed College,
where most of the men took modern dance classes to meet the women.
Later at Atari, I was able to relate how much resolution of movement you
need in terms of perceiving things for video games.”
To accomplish this yourself, read things you normally wouldn’t read. If
you regularly read cigar magazines, try Cosmopolitan or The National
Enquirer. The ideas you come across when you “cross over” will provide
plenty to work with when it comes time to generate new ideas for your
sales letters.

Your Next Exercise:

Exercises #14, #15, and #16

Well, that sums up this section on leads. Now, it’s time for your exercises…
In Exercise #14, you’ll hone your skills of recognizing and identifying the big
promise.
Then, in Exercise #15, you’ll come up with a list of promises you can make
about the product or service you’re selling in your writing sample.
And finally, in Exercise #16, you’ll narrow down your big idea by deciding
which promise is more powerful than all the others on your list.
Now, please go online to access Exercises #14, #15, and #16…
Good luck… and happy writing!

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 The Secret of Transubstantiation
By Mark Morgan Ford
(Edited from an essay originally published in Early To Rise.)

I f you take the time to “get” the marketing secret I’m about to reveal —
the way I got it years ago — it could make you a much more powerful
and successful copywriter. It’s a sophisticated technique that can give you a
huge edge over your competition.
During the past 20 years, I spent a considerable amount of time teaching
young copywriters the secrets of direct marketing. Most of what I taught
was the handed-down wisdom of the legendary advertising masters of
earlier times — such master advertisers as David Ogilvy, John Caples, and
Claude Hopkins. But a few of the secrets I shared were my own. Or at least
they seemed like my own when I taught them.
Of course, we never know how truly original our “original” ideas really are.
There are always strands of past influences in the fiber of new concepts.
But, that said, several times in my career I’ve had the experience of a
sudden illumination, an insight into why things are or how things should
be done that feels new and even revolutionary.
That’s the feeling I had when I came up with the idea of “transubstantiation”
— an idea that’s one of the cornerstones of this program.
You may be familiar with the word “transubstantiation” in the same
religious context where I first encountered it. It means the changing of an
ordinary substance into one
that’s extraordinary, and, as
“No idea is so outlandish that it
part of the Catholic Mass, it’s
should not be considered with a used to describe the miracle
searching but at the same time a by which bread and wine are
steady eye.” — Winston Churchill changed into the body and
blood of Christ.

Part 3 3-113
“And do not think that transubstantiation is symbolic,” Sister Christophene
warned us. “You’ll get the back of my hand and a thousand years in
purgatory for even thinking so.”
Perhaps as a result of being taught by Sister Christophene for three years
running, I believe in the power of transubstantiation, too — at least as it
relates to business. I believe it’s possible to completely change a business
or product from something ordinary to something miraculous. In fact, I’m
pretty sure this is how most great new developments (even scientific and
social developments) occur.
What happens is this: For years, you and your friends have been wearing
narrow-cut pants. They look good, and they emphasize the slimness of
your legs. The only problem? The cuffs keep getting caught in your penny
loafers. As the years pass and the size of your shoes becomes larger, this
problem gets worse.
One day, you wake up with an idea: “I know how to fix this. I’ll make the
bottom of the pants longer and wider. That way, there will be no chance
that they’ll get caught in my shoes.”
What you’ve done is transubstantiate trousers. You’ve taken an ordinary
pair of chinos and turned them into something new and wonderful: bell-
bottoms!
Here are some more examples of transubstantiation in the marketplace:
llA plain eraser becomes white-out.
llA simple typewriter becomes a word
processor.
llA boring sandwich becomes a wrap.
llA commonplace pair of sunglasses
becomes a pair of photo-sensitive
eyeglasses.

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 Resist the Mundane
In copywriting, transubstantiation is the creative process of imagining and
representing a product or service in a way that’s bigger, better, and more
valuable than it normally appears. It results in a perceptual change from
something mundane to something desirable.
It involves the right-brain function of leaping from the ordinariness of a
particular thing to something greater and different, but not so different as
to strain the left brain’s logical circuitry.
Transubstantiation includes
the process of analyzing
“Many a small thing has been made both things — the object
large by the right kind of advertising.” transubstantiated and the
— Mark Twain object it becomes — and
listing the qualities, features,
and benefits of each.
It begins with an idea that seems like impossibility and is advertised by a
claim that sounds questionable.
Let me give you an example…
Let’s say your job is to write a promotion that sells bread. Your client
has tried every sales, marketing, and merchandising trick in the book to
boost sales, but nothing has worked. The problem, you realize, is that
they’re selling bread. If only it could be something else… something more
important, more exciting, more amazing.
You want to write about the bread as if it’s more than bread. It needs to
be something else. What will it be? You think about the possibilities and
then come up with this: “Your client’s bread will do more than merely feed
people. It will transform them into beautiful, muscular athletes.”
There’s the “impossible” idea. Now you need to make the questionable
claim. You spend some time brainstorming with your client and come up
with it: It will be called Wonder Bread — and it will build healthy, beautiful,

Part 3 3-115
 muscular bodies in 12 ways. That sounds great, everybody agrees.
But the bread your client sells doesn’t actually do that. It’s ordinary white
bread. And that’s not good enough.
OK. No problem. Your client decides to improve the bread.
Your client decides to
reinvent the product
“All things must change to something to make it capable of
new, to something strange.” building the body in 12
— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow different ways — and they
make sure it looks, smells,
and tastes like it does, too.
Four months later, everything is ready. Your client is no longer selling
ordinary bread. They’re selling renewal, renovation, and personal
transformation. And guess what? Your copy works. Sales skyrocket, and
your client’s customers love the product.
Your client began with a boring product that wasn’t selling. But instead of
hyping the marketing copy — shouting louder, as it were — you helped
your client transform the product. You did it by resisting the mundane…
by having the courage to commit to creating the impossible and selling the
improbable.
Here’s another example…
Let’s say you’re asked to write copy for an ad campaign for a Japanese
sports car that’s going to retail for $60,000. If you were an ordinarily good
copywriter, you would probably study the features of the new car — the
size of its engine, its acceleration, torque, braking range — and then find a
beneficial equivalent of each. For example, if this particular Japanese sports
car had a brand-new, state-of-the-art antilock braking system, you could
write a few strong lines about the comfort of knowing the car would stop
safely and immediately in any weather.
Feature by feature, benefit by benefit, you could create a powerful ad that

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ably demonstrates your car’s superiority over other sports cars in the same
price range. If you did your job, and dramatized the benefits, you would
probably boost sales. Maybe even significantly. But it would be unlikely
that such a campaign would cause a fury.
Why not? Because your ad would be up against dozens of others, all of
which had been written by very experienced, very well-paid copywriters.
These ads would also dramatize benefits and identify unique selling
features. These ads, too, would speak with a winning voice and offer proof
of all claims.
So, how do you separate yourself from this very elite crowd?
You know it, don’t you? It’s… transubstantiation!
In this particular case, you’ll have to put your little Japanese sports car on a
whole new pedestal. You’ll have to transform it from a very good, $60,000
sports car into something entirely different.
Just like Acura did when they first introduced the NSX back in 1991…
They could have taken the conventional path, the road more traveled,
by positioning the NSX as just another great luxury sports car. But they
wanted more than that. They
wanted the NSX to become a
signature vehicle for its entire
luxury line. They wanted to
position the NSX in a more
prestigious light than any Acura
yet sold.
This is what Acura did. They sold the NSX not as a great $60,000 sports car,
but as the world’s first four-wheeled jet fighter. The ad copy demonstrated
many ways the NSX was, in fact, like a jet fighter.
The comparison may seem absurd, but the facts and figures Acura’s
copywriters assembled (e.g., the billions spent on research and
development, the top-notch scientists who worked on it, the cloak of

Part 3 3-117
secrecy it was developed beneath, the high-tech gadgets that had, until
then, only appeared on the control panels of jets) proved the point!
The sports-car-buying prospect, interested in the NSX’s beautiful look and
impressive performance characteristics, but a bit daunted by the price tag,
was now swept away with copy that transubstantiated the NSX into a jet
fighter… and who wouldn’t pay a mere $60,000 for a jet fighter? It was a
steal at that price!
And, in fact, the technique worked. The NSX sold brilliantly. Within weeks of
the launch of the ad campaign, buyers were bidding up the MSRP. At one
point, dealers were charging more than $90,000 per car!
NSX sales did not continue after the initial year or two. But it turned Acura
into a brand that was thereafter equated with high performance and
reliability — a reputation it still enjoys today. Acura is about to launch a
new NSX, and, again, car aficionados are excited about it.

Transubstantiation Has No Limits

In his book, The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell explains that most
revolutionary social and business changes occur when some gradually
developing awareness of a problem or opportunity
suddenly reaches a point where the need for a solution
or an answer becomes overwhelming. At that point —
the tipping point — the first person with a new idea
becomes rich and successful.
That new idea, the one that solves a mounting
problem or answers a growing opportunity, is usually a
revolutionary iteration of a longstanding thing. In other
words, it’s usually a product of transubstantiation.
There’s no question about it: If you can learn how to
transubstantiate in your writing, you can reap some life-
changing rewards.
And there’s no limit to what can be transubstantiated…

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Whether you’re selling costume jewelry, a magazine on health, a travel
package or a tax service, transubstantiation can make a big difference in
your success. Virtually any product or service can be transubstantiated. A
financial newsletter can become the world’s most exclusive investment
club. A trip to Honduras can become a romantic fortune hunter’s
expedition. A cubic zirconia tennis bracelet can become a rare and
magnificent heirloom, as exciting to own as the Hope diamond.
I’ve personally used the secret of transubstantiation a hundred times in my
career and it has never failed to boost the power of the copy exponentially.
It’s a rare skill — one most copywriters don’t even understand — and not
a skill you would use on every promotion you write. But when you really
need something more — a much stronger sales pitch or a higher price —
there’s no other secret I know that’s more powerful.
Follow these easy steps to transubstantiate any ordinary product:
1. Ask, “How is this product ordinary?” (Make a list.)
2. Ask, “How is this product unique?” (Make a list.)
3. Ask, “How is this product extraordinary. (Hopefully you will have a
list.)
4. Study the first list and resolve not to mention any of those features or
benefits in your copy.
5. Study the second list and ask, “How does this unique feature make
the product more than the product it is?”
6. Ask that same question of the third list.
7. Look for analogies — but analogies that have a higher perceived
value. (Example: fighter jets rather than sports cars)
8. Write bullets and short paragraphs… many of them… for every
unique or extraordinary feature. 
9. Imagine how you can use graphics to enhance the emotional impact
of the transubstantiation.

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Writing Sales Copy for the Web
By Rebecca Matter
Rebecca Matter, who you met earlier, is President of AWAI and
Founder of Wealthy Web Writer. A marketer with over 15 years
of experience in publishing and direct-marketing, Rebecca has
spearheaded successful million-dollar campaigns for countless
products, both online and off, and has spoken and written on
topics ranging from getting and working with clients to successful
web-marketing strategies. Rebecca recognizes the tremendous
opportunities available to people who know how to write and market
effectively on the Web. She’s dedicated herself to keeping AWAI members
ahead of the curve… and in demand… by creating cutting-edge programs
on the most marketable writing skills today.

T he Web gives us so much opportunity as copywriters, and it’s growing

every single year! Online sales of products and services — often referred
to as e-commerce — is a booming industry. E-commerce sales rose to over
$1.471 trillion globally last year — according to eMarketer — and those
figures are expected to keep rising dramatically over the next few years. In
fact, Internet sales and investment have been growing 20% year over year.
And Forrester Research predicts the money spent on online marketing will
reach $77 BILLION by the new year, just in the U.S. alone. Not surprising.
Especially when you consider that small businesses (like many in your local
area) are among the largest group to jump onboard with online marketing.
That’s a lot of potential projects — and fees — up for grabs.

What does this mean for you — as a copywriter?

That now is a great time to get involved with web writing!
As more and more business gets done online, the more important you become
if you know how to write for the Web. There are more than one billion websites
already! And companies desperately need writers who understand the Web
to write their copy — both direct-response and content.

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At AWAI, you’ll often hear us refer to online copy as “web copy.”
Web copy is different than direct-response print copy. The basic elements
are the same, but the writing is a little different to fit the needs of the Web
and achieve the goals of the company.
“Broadly speaking, the copywriter who focuses on only one type
of media does disservice to client and self. The best clients are, or
can be prodded into, being users of multiple media, including
online and offline and specifically including direct mail, and the
copywriter able to do well financially is adept at attracting and assisting
such highest value clients. If either the client or the writer is restricted to a
single media for any reason — ignorance, bias, ego, sloth — the value of
the client and earning opportunity of the writer suffers, and the value of
the writer to the client is also minimized.” — Dan S. Kennedy
Dan Kennedy has lived, worked, and prospered as a copywriter for over 30
years. With average project fees from $50,000 to $150,000 (plus royalties) and
well over $1 million per year earned from consulting and copywriting for clients,
part-time, Dan is certainly one of the highest paid copywriters in the world.

The Internet is a Unique Market

Before we get into the differences between web and print writing, I want
you to understand that companies of ALL shapes and sizes need web writers
to help them stay competitive online.
As I mentioned, over a billion websites are already out there, making it
tough for an online business to set itself apart. These days, even a mom-
and-pop business can whip up a professional-looking site. The only way
for businesses to get a competitive edge is with their copy.
Originally, webmasters and “techies” wrote most of the content. But marketers
now recognize it really has to be done by people who specialize in writing
words that sell online. Words that convert.
And another distinction of the Web is the way in which industries now
reach their target market…

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In the past, copywriters wrote to large, diverse audiences. They often used
mailing lists that could be sorted by any number of things — interests,
age, income — but they could still end up writing to a very mixed group of
people.
Now — thanks to the Internet — it’s easier to reach more targeted groups.
For instance, typically you would have known that your target market loves
gardening. Online you can segment even further — which means you
might write copy that speaks directly to people who are passionate about
growing organic heirloom tomatoes.
What other changes in this unique market do you need to know about?
Let’s jump right into that…

The 5 Major Differences of Web Writing

If you receive a sales letter at home, it’s likely to be your only
interaction with that company. Unless you take the
time to do further research, you won’t know anything
other than what’s in the sales letter. That’s why sales
letters have so much copy — to give you all the
information you need to make a buying decision.
On the other hand, if you visit a website
and see a promotion for a product or
service online, you have easy access to a
lot of information. You can easily learn
more about the company or see what
others have to say.
Because of this, websites need a lot of pages that work together. And, the
copy on those pages has to grab and keep the reader’s attention because
the reader is surrounded by distractions — from his email inbox and all the
links on the website to everything else going on around him.
It’s a totally different experience interacting online. So it’s important you
understand these five differences of writing for the Web…

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 1. The Internet was never created
to be a commercial media outlet.
Even though today’s Internet appears to be full of promotions and ads — the
original Internet wasn’t created for commercial use.
In fact, the Internet was developed by the military. And then universities got
interested. And then the hyperlink came along and changed everything.
That little bit of code gave
people the ability to jump
from one place to another. It
made sharing so much easier.
Think about it. With links, you
can essentially jump from one
“book” to another “book” on
the other side of the world in
an instant.
So from the start, the Internet was for sharing information and having
discussions. Not for selling things.
People don’t like to be sold, as we’ve discussed. That’s especially true on the
Internet. But online, it’s easier to share information that leads people to buy
without making them feel like you’re only interested in their money.
2. The customer is also the marketer.
In the past, companies could control their message. They had access to the
media — TV, radio, and print — where the average person didn’t. But on
the Internet, everyone can have a voice. Buyers can say good things about
a company. Or very bad things.
As a copywriter, you need to be aware of this. Claims online have to be
backed up with proof — because nowadays, the customer can quickly
research anything you say. If there’s something dishonest in a company’s
message, you’ll lose that relationship right out of the gate. And, if word
gets out, you’ll damage other relationships, as well.

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So you’ve got to be up front. But, there is an upside to customers having
the ability to share their opinions and experiences… Companies can have a
small marketing campaign go viral with little to no budget at all — which,
in turn, creates an even bigger opportunity for web writers.
3. The audience is alert and task-oriented.
Many web users go online looking for something specific. They are task-
oriented. They are active. They are in control — and they want results.
When they land on your web page, they scan quickly to see if you have
what they need. If there’s any doubt, they’ll hit their “back” button and go
someplace else.
As an example, think about a website versus a physical store… If you’re
shopping for a drill and can’t find it, you can ask an employee to show you
where it is. You can even ask for recommendations.
Most websites don’t have that kind of service. If your visitor is looking for a
drill, you need to make it easy to find. Give him the information he needs
— quickly — to make a decision. If you don’t, he could easily get frustrated
and go to the competition.

4. It can be challenging to find

what they’re looking for on a website.
Consider the store scenario again…
It’s important for websites to be simple to navigate, so visitors
can easily find what they’re looking for. Remember, they’re
searching for something. And it’s up to you to help them
find it. If your website isn’t clear, or if there’s a lot to sort
through and it isn’t well-organized, it can seem like a maze.
If what they’re looking for isn’t readily obvious to them, then they
have to make a decision — should they click another link (going
deeper into the maze), or should they start over with a competitor?
Your job as a web writer is to help visitors make decisions by guiding them

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with your copy. Basically, your copy leads them through the site from the
time they arrive until they reach their ultimate goal. The easier you can
make the reader’s journey to what he’s searching for, the better results your
copy will get.
5. Web visitors need relevance — and they need it now.
The Internet has made it possible to find nearly anything online — from
cooking utensils to complex computer systems. Remember, web searchers
are task-oriented. They’re looking for something specific. When they come
to a website, the first thing they check is that it’s relevant to what they are
searching for.
For instance, if someone is searching for “beach condo rentals Treasure
Island Florida,” then he’s looking for exactly that. Whatever website he
lands on must signal immediately that it contains information relevant to
that topic. If not, he’ll leave.
If he lands on a page advertising Maine vacations, he’s not going to stick
around. Or if he finds a site that’s related, but not exactly what he wants,
he’ll just hit the “back” button.
As a web writer, you must be focused on the potential customer’s needs
— and instantly let him know he’s in the right place when he lands on a
website. You have to tell him his search is over. In this instance, the page
headline should be direct, so there’s no confusion:

5 Tips for Writing Winning Online Copy

When you write online, the copy you send to a client won’t necessarily be
the same as what you would use for a print package. With a direct-mail
package, you can be successful simply by being interesting.

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But online, your sales copy can’t just be interesting. It has to compete with
everything in the online environment. Instant messages. Emails. Social
Media. All the other search engine results for that same topic.
The online prospect is different than the prospect reading a direct-mail
package in the comfort of their favorite chair. Online prospects are active.
They are task-oriented. They’re looking for something. And they’ve come to
your online sales letter intent on finding out as quickly as possible if there’s
a reason to continue reading.
Which brings us to the first tip to writing sales copy that holds that reader’s
attention…

Tip #1: Know Your Audience

Now, you’ve already learned quite a bit
about getting to know your audience. You
know to find out about their emotional
hot buttons, the problems they’re dealing
with, what keeps them up at night, what
language they use.
But online, there’s more you can learn and use to improve your writing and
get better results.
The first thing to understand is how they got to your online sales letter.
Were they searching for something through Google? Did they click through
from an email you sent them? Are they on your client’s email list? Did
they arrive from a Pay-Per-Click (PPC) ad? Where your reader comes from
matters.
You need to consider if your reader was searching for a solution to a
problem on his own, or if he came to your sales letter because your client
identified a problem and reached out to him, offering to fix it.
How your reader gets to your sales letter will impact how you speak to him.
A great way to start getting this information is to speak to your client.

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Bonus Tip: When you ask your client about how the customer comes to
their sales page, you learn about their other writing needs. You can offer to
handle those needs as well, increasing your project scope… and your fees.
In addition to talking to your clients, there are a few handy online tools that
can help you learn more about your visitors, what they are looking for, and
where they’ve come from.
Tool 1. Website Analytics
The first thing to review is the website analytics for the site you’re starting
to work with.
Most websites have an analytics program installed that gathers data about
where clients are coming from, how they move through the website, how
long they stay, and even what keywords they used to find you.
Reviewing the site analytics before you start writing is crucial, so ask your
client for access.
Knowing where visitors come from can give you insight into who they are
and what interests them.
Knowing what keywords they used to find the site can help you know what
they are looking for and give you direction for meeting that need.
Seeing how a visitor moves through a website can show you which pages
are strongest and what may be missing from the site.
All of this information can inform how you write sales pages and any other
copy that is related to or included on the site.
Tool 2. Keyword Research
Another vital component of your online
audience research is keyword research.
It can show you what words and phrases
your visitors are using to search and find
your website and your content.

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By doing keyword research, you can discover what language your target
audience is using. That can influence how you write your copy. It can also
reveal the intention of your visitor, which again, may change the approach
you use in your copy.
For example, through keyword research, you might discover that a lot
of people are searching for “digital camera reviews.” The fact that they
are looking for reviews shows you they’re in the research phase. They’re
learning. They’re not yet ready to buy.
But if you see a lot of searches for a particular camera, that would indicate
people who are further along in the buying process. Your copy for them
would be different than what you’d write to the people looking for reviews.
Bonus Tip: This is another opportunity to propose additional projects to
a client. If you see holes in their website based on your keyword research,
you can offer to write the copy they need to fill those gaps.
Tool 3. Forums, Blog Comments, and Product Reviews
Visiting forums that cater to the people who are interested in the product
you are writing about can give you an inside look at the conversations your
audience is having. You’ll learn the language they use when taking about
products like yours. You’ll discover their biggest pain points, what they are
excited about, the questions they are asking, the objections you need to
overcome and more.
Visiting blogs that cater to your audience
is another way to get this kind of insight.
Pay particular attention to the comments.
In the comments, you’ll see members of
your target audience weighing in with
their opinions. Another opportunity to
learn their language and to tap into their
concerns.
Reading personal blogs is smart, too. They can help you see exactly what
your customers are saying about products like the one you are writing

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about. You can see how they talk about their interests, and find new ways
to connect with your audience.
And product reviews on sites like Amazon are priceless for audience research.
Visit the description pages for competitive products and read through the
reviews. You’ll discover what people are happy about, what they hate, and
the language they use to express it all.

Tip #2: Get Those Benefits Front and Center

You already know the core of successful copy is to focus on and highlight
benefits rather than just talking about features.
That’s true for online copy, too.
Imagine it’s April. The weather is just starting
to warm up and people are making summer
plans. Your reader is searching for a way to
lose 20 pounds by the time summer starts.
And you have a product that’s a perfect fit.
When you write your online copy, don’t
focus on the seven, patented supplements
included in the diet program you offer.
That’s a feature. It’s worth a mention. But it’s
not what she wants to talk about.
Instead, focus your sales copy on what losing those 20 pounds will do for
her. How it will make her feel… how it will change her energy levels…
how it will lift her confidence.
Selling with benefits is one of the most important things you’ll learn in
this program. When writing online, the placement of those benefits is
critical. You want to have them front and center. Remember, people online
are often impatient. They are often distracted. Or they are looking for
something specific. They’ll scan your page quickly to see if you have what
they need. If they don’t get immediate confirmation that they’re in the
right place, they’ll move on.

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Don’t make them guess. Make sure that the biggest benefit is there and
easy to see right when the user lands on the page. You’ll hear the term
“above the fold.” This is the area of the web page that a user sees without
having to scroll down. Make sure that you put a big benefit in that area.
The difference with a print package is that once the reader sits down and
decides to read your package, they’ll likely read at least the first full page or
two. That’s not the case online. Online, you have a couple of paragraphs at
most to grab them and convince them not to click away.
So make sure your readers know the benefits of what you’re offering them,
right up front.

Tip #3: Pay Attention to Layout and Design

As a web writer, you don’t have to be technical. (That’s a common
misconception.) You don’t have to be involved in web design. Technical
skills are NOT required. Knowledge of coding is NOT required.
But, it’s good to understand the design basics…
how things should appear… and what works online.
That knowledge can help you take those elements
into consideration when you write your sales pages.
When you hand a project over to a client, it
will be a Word document — just like with print
promotions. But you may decide to include some
comments about how you want certain things to
look.
And no matter what, you will want keep a few design-related things in
mind as you write. The following tips can help your copy work better
online and improve your results.
You’ll notice every one of these tips centers around ease of reading…
You want to make your copy as easy and effortless to read as possible.
Remember, your readers are ready to click away. All they need is the
slightest excuse. If something is hard to read, they’ll move on.

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 Get Rid of Distractions
If something doesn’t help move the reader to your call-to-action, get rid of
it. Sales letters should be on clean pages — no sidebars with competing
offers. Links that go to other web pages — if they aren’t carrying your
reader forward to the call-to-action, leave them out. Graphics that aren’t
building your case — gone. Make it easy for your reader to focus and move
through the sales text.
Use a Single Column
It’s been tested again and again. Online, single-column copy is easier to
read. Don’t break your online copy into columns. Don’t make your readers
jump around. Just let them read from top to bottom.
Use a Comfortable Column Width
If the column is too wide or too narrow, it makes the reader tired. Your web
designer will handle this, but if you notice a web layout using a very wide
column, don’t hesitate to ask the designer to narrow the column width.
Use a Larger Font
Choose a font size that is large enough for everyone to read. You’ve probably
been to a website where the font was so small it was hard to read. You either
had to squint or enlarge the page. Don’t make your reader jump through
those hoops. Again, this is something that the web designer will handle,
but if you notice the copy looks too small, speak up.
Choose a simple font like Verdana. One that’s been proven easy to read
online. Readability is the top priority.
Break Up Your Copy
Huge blocks of text are overwhelming. Especially online. If someone lands
on your sales page and he sees great big, long paragraphs, he’s going to
think twice about reading.
So keep sentences short. And keep paragraphs short.

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 Be Generous With Subheads and Bullets
Online readers do a lot of scanning. Using subheads and bullets often
during your copy can help your scanning readers get a sense of what you
are saying without reading deeply. If you catch their interest, they’ll read
a little more. And a little more. And every minute you hold their attention
brings them closer to your call-to-action.
Subheads and bullets also help to break up your copy, which makes it
appear easier to read.
Ask to See the Final
Make sure you ask for a chance to review the final copy and design before
it goes live. That way, if there is anything that doesn’t look quite right, you
can work with the designer to fix it before it goes out to your audience.

Tip #4: Give Special Attention to Your Call-to-Action

Congratulations! You got your reader’s attention. You held it all the way
through your sales copy. You know exactly what you want him to do at
this point, but how you ask him to do it is critical in the online world.
Word choice at this point matters. Think
about where your reader is in the buying
process and what action you want him to
take. Then specifically and succinctly tell
him what to do.
If you want him to buy, tell him to order now.
If you want him to sign up for an event, tell
him to register now. If he’s not as far along in the buying process, and you
want him to sign up for a free newsletter, ask him to subscribe now.
Where you place your call-to-action is also important. You want to make it
easy for the reader to take the action you want. Provide links in the copy.
But also provide graphic buttons that are easy to see and click.

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 Tip #5: Revise, Test, Repeat
Things are always changing online. In online marketing, there really aren’t
any final drafts.
One of things that makes online copywriting awesome is that you can
easily and quickly change things without your client having to pay for a
whole new print run.
This means you can test a lot of elements. You
can test headlines. You can test buttons. You
can test, test, test. This adds value to what
you bring to your client. You can continually
bring new ideas for updating your sales letter
to improve results. And if you have a royalty
arrangement, you’re helping yourself and your
clients.
No matter how good you’ve done, watch for ways you can do better. And
then test what you find.
What to Revise
You may be wondering what to revise. You have so many options.
Look at new ways to drive visitors to your sales letter. You may have an idea
for a PPC campaign or an email blast. There may be an opportunity for a
joint venture promotion or a webinar to drive people to the letter. In each
case, you want to look at the letter and tweak it to make it perfect for the
incoming audience.
Look for things that have changed within your target audience. Spend
a little time keeping tabs on the audiences you have written to recently.
If you notice a news story they are excited about, a new trend, or a new
keyword phrase that’s increasing in popularity, you can revise your sales
page accordingly.
Also, ask what pages are linking to the sales letter that weren’t before? If
your sales letter is doing well, your client may begin sending people to it

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from new pages. And you may want to make changes to the letter based
on what you know about where your audience is coming from.
What to Test
You can really test anything. And you’ll be surprised at how big of an
impact even small things can have on the response rate. Every test provides
you knowledge that you can apply forward to new projects. You just keep
getting better and better. Things you might test include:
llHeadlines
llBullets
llButtons
llFonts
llColors
llGraphics
llLeads
llOffers
llSubheads
Think of your sales copy like an athlete. Athletes are always training and
working to get better. To set a new personal best. Treat your copy the same
way. Look for ways to continually tweak the copy to get better and better
results.
Remember that while your audience for an offline sales letter and an online
sales letter may be the same, the way they read and the attitude they have
may be different when they’re online. Your job with an online sales letter is
to control your reader’s attention until he gets to your call-to-action.
You do that by letting your reader know right up front that he’s in the right
place. And by ensuring your copy is engaging and easy to read, so the path
between your reader and the call-to-action is clear.

What Makes a Great Online Sales Letter

When it comes to online marketing, there’s a ton of variety in the projects.
You might write product pages, websites, landing pages, emails, social

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media posts, video scripts, content… the list goes on and on. And you will
be able to apply your new persuasive writing skills to every assignment
you choose to take on. (Not to mention be more effective than most online
copywriters!)
Now, just like in direct mail, the long-form online sales letter is in huge demand
and pays very well. They are equally effective, but uniquely challenging.
The first thing you need for this kind of copy
is a great idea. Remember, people online
get easily distracted. And the only way
you’re going to hold their attention through
15-20 pages of copy is with a strong idea.
A great idea resonates with the audience. It
strikes a deep emotional chord. It bridges
the gap between what your reader already
feels, believes, and wants and the product
you’re writing about.
A great idea doesn’t persuade or change people’s minds. It joins the
conversation the reader is already having in his mind.
The next thing you need is a solid structure. Most successful sales letters
start by identifying a problem. And then you agitate that problem. You
get the reader nodding along and longing for a solution. That’s when you
offer the solution. You show how the solution addresses all the problems,
and you offer proof that it works. Offer a premium or a free gift. Provide a
guarantee to free the reader of risk. Then close with a strong call-to-action.
The thing with using that structure is you can’t make it too obvious. You
have to weave a story that your reader wants to read. You need to engage
the reader emotionally. And the best sales letters leave the reader feeling
like they’ve drawn their own conclusions.
If you can get your reader nodding along with you as they read, that’s the
key. If they’re nodding in agreement and you keep them nodding as they
read along, you’ll make a sale.

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 Basic Web Copy Principles
Your job is to create value. Remember, people online don’t see it as a
commercial environment. They are not expecting to be sold. Granted, the
value you create can lead people to a sale. But if all you do is sell, sell, sell
and you don’t offer value, your online readers will move on. And they’ll
move on quickly.
Always give your visitor a clear path to your call-to-action. Then make
it easy for them to take that action. Do not write content pages, sales
pages, or any other online page that is a dead end. Always give your reader
somewhere to go.
Get to know your audience (very well). The Web provides an immense
opportunity to get to know your audience in a way that was never possible
before. So use it! Talk to your readers. Pay attention to what they are saying.
Get involved in their environment.
Keep your copy easy to scan. Most readers will not start out reading
your copy deeply. They’ll read the headline, the first paragraph, and then
scan the subheads and bullets. If you make the copy easy to scan, you do
two things. You compete better against the distractions that continually
bombard online readers, and you increase your chances of drawing your
reader into your copy and engaging him on a deeper level.
Pay attention to your link copy. This is the copy that you want your reader
to click to take the desired action. Write benefits into your links. “Download
your free report” versus “Learn the 7 Secrets Now.” The second example is
much stronger, so pay attention to those links.

Don’t Like to Sell? No Problem!

Now, we’ve been focused on direct-response sales copy because
understanding the principles of persuasive, benefit-rich writing will make
whatever type of web-writing you choose to do better and more effective.
But one of the great things about web writing is that there are so many
opportunities to do writing that doesn’t have making a sale as the

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immediate goal. There’s writing to generate leads, to build relationships, to
attract traffic, to inform, and to entertain.
And they all are in high demand because they play an important role in
most every content marketing strategy out there.
So, even if you don’t want to write sales letters — or especially if you don’t
want to write sales letters — the Web has an opportunity for you.
1. Opt-in or Subscribe Offers
This is where you’ll ask the visitor for an email address and other basic
information. A good rule of thumb is that the more information you ask
for, the fewer takers you’ll have. However, the more information a visitor
gives you, the more qualified the lead is. These offers work best when you
give something of value in exchange for the contact information, such as a
product coupon or free downloadable report.
2. Newsletters or E-Newsletters
These are information publications from marketers that are usually delivered
directly to email inboxes. This is value-based information — in the form of
stories, metaphors, and simple advice — to build trust for future business.
Many of these publications will have a link to the company’s services at the
end, but they don’t do any hard selling.
3. Emails and Autoresponders
These are sent out to email lists to tell people about
products and special offers. The goal of these emails
is to entertain with just a little bit of promotion. The
desired action should be to get the reader to click on a
link that takes him to a web page — commonly a sales
letter. With emails and autoresponders, you can make
a reader want the solution before he arrives on the
sales letter page. Then, there’s a much higher chance
at converting him to a sale.

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 4. Social Media Marketing
Social networking is on the leading edge of online marketing. Many businesses
will hire web writers to handle their online social media, and these projects can
pay really well. Social media experts are in high demand because they help
marketers reach a huge audience.
Even though many social media networks provide platforms for marketing
and advertising, they are still primarily places for people to connect with
each other. That’s why social media marketing is less about selling and
more about sharing and connecting.
5. Website Audits
Another option for web writers that doesn’t include “sales copy” is website
audits. Basically you take a look at a client’s website and give them a list
of suggestions to make it stronger. Since almost every website can be
improved, a web writer who understands how to make websites perform
better can quickly become in high demand.
If you’re interested in writing a lot of copy — including sales copy — you
can use website audits as a way to start working with a potential client.
Any recommendations you give them are potential projects that you could
write for them.

Can you work as an online copywriter for people

outside the U.S.?
Absolutely! Clients can come from anywhere — and by the same
token, no matter where you live, you can build a successful
career. For example, Shelley Jacobson is based in Canada and
works for both U.S. and Canadian clients. Jan Marie Mueller lives in
Germany and does web copy and social media for clients all over
the world, in both German and English.
And when Jen Adams was first living in Ecuador, one of her biggest
clients was a German man living in Brazil who did web marketing in
Asia. You really have no boundaries anymore, thanks to technology!

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 The Opportunity Before You is Huge
It’s important to understand writing for the Web because it’s huge. You’re
going to find more opportunity writing for the Web than you will anywhere
else. For direct response, especially.
There’s a huge opportunity and it’s growing.
Remember. The Internet and e-commerce is growing by 20% every year.
Some people think it’s too late to get involved in online marketing. That it’s
here and it’s massive, but that they’ve already missed the boat. That’s just
not true. The investment in the Internet is growing at such a rate that the
existing pool of copywriters who understand the Web can’t possibly keep
up with the demand.
And in addition to high demand, there’s also a low risk for marketers to hire
you and test your work. Which means breaking into web writing can be very
easy.
Plus, they can see if your writing is delivering the desired result within hours
of sending out what you’ve written.
This means online marketers are more willing than ever to work with new
writers. So it’s easier than ever to get your foot in the door with new clients.
You can start with a small project, prove yourself, and then work your way
up into bigger assignments with that client.
The other important thing to realize about writing online is that no matter
what kind of writing you like to do, there’s an opportunity that will suit you
perfectly.
Online, there is certainly a demand for direct-response sales copy. But there’s
a huge demand for other kinds of writing, as well.
Whether you like to write sales letters… stories… informative articles…
what you’re learning here will help you succeed at the type of web writing
you love to do.

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You can choose to write:
llSales pages
llContent
llWebsite home pages
llLanding pages
llBlogs
llE-newsletters
llEmail
llSocial media
llVideo Scripts
And that’s just a short list.
The Web offers you an unending opportunity to make a very good living as
a copywriter. And everything you’re learning here in The Accelerated Program
for Six-Figure Copywriting will lay a strong foundation in persuasive writing
that will make you an effective web writer. From here, it’s just a matter
of choosing which web projects you’d like to take on, and applying what
you’re learning to that particular format — keeping in mind the difference
between the print prospect, and the one reading your copy online.
Now, regardless of whether you decide to write online or off, you first must
master the basics of persuasion. And in the next section, Mark Morgan
Ford (pen name Michael Masterson) teaches you
his simple process for writing sales copy that has
beaten countless controls, launched over a dozen
multimillion-dollar businesses, and generated sales
and profits most direct marketers only dream about.
Through a simple metaphor, Mark reveals the
secrets to persuasive writing with stunning
simplicity and unmistakable power. What you
are about to learn are universal principles that
will improve your copy tenfold.

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The Architecture of Persuasion
By Mark Morgan Ford
This section includes excerpts from Mark Ford’s book, The Architecture of
Persuasion: How to Write Well-Constructed Sales Letters (written under
his former pen name, Michael Masterson). Within its 121 pages, Mark goes
into extensive detail about the principles you’re about to learn. You may want
to get a copy of this book eventually, but for now, read on to discover how this
powerful process will help you nail every sales letter.

A Simple Yet Powerful Five-Step Formula for Writing

Winning Sales Letters — Listen as Rebecca explains how this
proven system will help you construct more persuasive copy.

W hen you break down the whole selling process, you find there’s a
special rhythm and energy to it that gives it life.
There’s the smooth whisper of persuasion. The sure, solid voice of reason.
And the melodic crescendo of rising promises, dreams, and expectations.
Selling, in its purest form, is nothing short of a romantic endeavor. It’s the
subtle art of using persuasion to evoke emotions and move your prospect
from one level of commitment to another.
Think about it…
In the very beginning, you must attract your prospect. You must grab her
attention by saying something meaningful to her.
Then — if she responds favorably — you strike up a conversation. You tell
her interesting, compelling tidbits about yourself to keep the momentum
going.
Once you’ve passed this initial stage, you begin the courting process.
During this time, she asks questions to assess your integrity and intentions.
You must be prepared to prove yourself. You must show her you’re capable

Part 3 3-141
 of keeping your promises. And convince her that you’re not like all the
others…
When she starts trusting you, you can inch your way closer and closer to
her. You can share your ideas with her, and she’ll embrace them. You can
slowly move her up the stairwell of commitment… and she’ll follow you.
Eventually, when you’ve captured her heart, you can reach the ultimate
goal — a meaningful, lasting relationship with your prospect.
Anytime you sit down to write a sales letter, you must go through the
persuasive process I’ve just described. You must fall in love with your
prospect… and have her fall in love with you. You must create the seed of
romance in your mind and plant it in your copy.
After all, your prospect can be the most
“To see things in the seed, important person in your life. If you
that is genius.” — Lao Tzu consistently treat her well, she’ll be
yours.
You’ll not only be able to “sell” her once, but many times throughout the
course of your relationship.
Better yet, she’ll tell everyone she knows about you. Your reputation will
grow, and people will start to associate your name with quality, reliability…
even perfection.
So, without further ado, let me start building the “Architecture of
Persuasion”…

Let the Romance Begin!

Picture in your mind an exquisite house. It’s
composed of spacious rooms, hardwood
floors, and it stands firmly on a massive
foundation.
This house represents your sales letter.
Every part of it corresponds to a different

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 element of your letter. And, as you’ll soon learn, there are certain things
that must, should, and can happen in each of the rooms.
Your ultimate goal is to forge a permanent relationship with your prospect.
But to form this relationship, you must lead her into your home, take her
through the rooms, and eventually up the stairs.
Before we move through this process, let’s make absolutely sure we know
the person we’re talking to, and their deepest needs, hopes and desires.
Let’s prepare your foundation.

Building Your Foundation on Solid Ground

At the base of the house is your foundation. Your entire sales letter rests
upon this.
If the foundation is weak or uneven, the house will certainly topple over…
no matter how well the rooms are constructed or how precisely the roofing
is laid. So spend some extra
time setting the foundation
“A great building must begin with before you move on to the
the unmeasurable, must go through rest of the house.
measurable means when it is being
In the sales letter, the
designed, and in the end must be
foundation represents your
unmeasurable.” — Louis Kahn written proposal. This is all
the mental work and research
you need to do before you can begin writing the actual letter. Here’s where
you plan the full, three-dimensional direction your letter will take, and who
you’re talking to.
Specifically, the foundation should…
Identify the core feelings you’ll stimulate in your prospect (curiosity,
anxiety, anger…).
State the big promise of the sales letter (more security, more love…).
State the offer (a gold watch for $24.95).

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These three pieces should always be part of your foundation. But there are
a few other things you can include, such as…
The length of the letter (4, 8, 12 pages…).
By predicting a future catastrophe, the writer spurs the prospect to
search for a solution to the problem. Your basic point of view (“debt
is bad,” “the government is robbing us”…).
The voice you’ll use (a doctor’s voice, your natural voice, etc.).
The format (a self-mailer, a “bookalog,” an email message, a web
landing page, etc.).
Testimonials (words of praise from customers).
Truth is, most copywriters don’t even think about creating this foundation.
But they should. For three reasons:
1. The foundation is the perfect place to “test drive” your letter. If you
have a half-baked idea or contradiction, you can take it out before it
shows up in your letter.
2. T he foundation “packages” all your ideas and pushes them to the
forefront of your mind. So they can be right there when you need
them.
3. When you submit this foundation or proposal to a prospective client,
you appear professional and polished. He knows you’ve put thought
into your letter… and he’ll be more inclined to give you the business.
Now, on to our elements…
Now what?
First, here are the 5 copy parts of a typical sales letter:
1. The Envelope Teaser
2. The Headline
3. The Lead Copy

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 4. The Sales Argument
5. The Closing Copy
Let’s go through each one.
So here’s your prospect. She’s
beautiful… she’s charming… and
she’s waiting outside your door.
You’ve got to say something
meaningful to her. And you’d
better say it fast…

Opening Lines:
Grabbing Attention With Teasers and Headlines
The very first thing your prospect sees is the
facade of your house. This facade represents the
teaser and headline copy in your direct-response
promotion. (In direct mail, “teaser” copy is often
found on the outer envelope. In email marketing,
it’s usually the email subject line.)
Teasers and headlines have the same goal: to grab your prospect’s
attention and usher her into the copy.
Although they must always grab attention, teasers and headlines can…
llMake a promise. (You can lose 10 pounds in 10 days! It’s easy AND
free!)
llDraw a picture. (Imagine waking up in the morning with the body of
a 20-year-old model…)
llState a fact. (The average American consumes nearly 75 pounds of
fat a year… he’s unhealthy, overweight, and headed for disaster!)
llAsk a question. (Did you know that the antiperspirant you put on
each morning can cause breast cancer?)

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If the paint is chipping off your house or if you have grimy windows, you
can forget it. You’ll never get this lovely lady to walk through your door.
After all, she’s got other places to go. Why should she waste her time?
But, let’s say — being a diligent AWAI member — you did your homework.
You found out she loves country cottage-style houses… so you paint your
house white and add a white picket fence…
It works like a charm!
You have persuaded the young lady
to come to your house by using an
irresistible opening line. She’s taken
with your keen sense of style and
sophistication. Within seconds, you
hear a light tapping at your door…
And if she takes a peek inside the
envelope or opens your email, and she
sees that the contents are consistent
with what she expected from the
teaser, she will read the headline.
Now this is a very important point! Make sure the headline reinforces the
teaser, so you’ll put your reader at ease. It will be consistent with your reader’s
expectations and make her feel comfortable as she enters your home.

The Lead: Tiptoeing Into the Foyer

You greet her warmly and take her coat. The two
of you start conversing, but you can tell her mind
is elsewhere. She’s trying to figure out who you
are and what you want from her.
After all, she’s just stepped inside. If she doesn’t
get a good feeling about what’s going on, she
might bolt for the door.

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 But you don’t want to lose her. So you turn to your research again. (See
how the proposal works!) You know she secretly desires a sensitive,
intellectual man.
So, rather than tell her you’re these
things, you show it to her…
“Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.” The first thing she sees in your foyer
(which represents your lead) is your
— Robert Frost
tasteful décor and your extensive
library. To her right is a classic Roman
bust. And the coffee table boasts a beautiful, glossy book with your name
printed on it. You catch her eyeing it. She’s noticeably interested.
What if you’re the one she’s been searching for? The promise of a “poet
warrior” dances through her head…
As you’ve already learned, the lead must make a full, major promise to
your prospect. That is, a promise that appeals to her core feelings, beliefs,
and desires.
But a lead also can…
llShare a historical perspective. (In 1845, one man decided to build a
machine like none other…)
llDebunk a common belief. (Think milk is good for you? It could just
be the leading cause of heart disease in America…)
llFormulate a prediction. (In just two months, you’ll see a complete
meltdown of the banking system…)
llProvide facts and figures. (Last year, over $64 billion was handed
out in government giveaway programs…)
llImpart data. (More than half of the women in America will be victims
of a violent crime…)
llPaint a picture. (Imagine sauntering down the street with all eyes
fixed on your tight, lean body…)

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 llState the offer. (Act now, and you can get this gold watch for just
$24.95…)
Generally speaking, a good lead is short and concise. So make your
promise, put your prospect “in the mood” — so to speak — then move on.
Because there’s a lot of work ahead of you in the next room…

The Living Room… Crafting Your Sales Argument

In your living room (your sales presentation
— the body of your letter or email), you must
accomplish several tasks. Here’s where you must
prove to your prospect — beyond a shadow
of a doubt — that you’re the man she’s always
dreamed of. That you can give her a relationship
like no other.
Consequently, your sales presentation must…
llMake and prove claims. (You’ll be making a six-figure salary in less
than a year! Just ask Walter Smith of Seattle, WA… )
ll Restate the promise. (You can have a lean, sexy body in 30 days or less!)
llShow benefits. (You’ll become so organized with The Exec Planner
that you’ll never miss another meeting again…)
llPresent your USP. (This program is like no other. It’s written by some
of the top executives in the world.)
llState or restate your offer. (That’s right… a beautiful, handcrafted
watch for just $24.95 — if you respond today!)
It also should…
llIntroduce an idea. (For centuries, the Chinese have believed that
regular, everyday people can heal themselves…)
llProvide testimonials. (“Thank you so much for this wonderful
program, AWAI!” — Martha Chu, Topeka, KS)

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 llIntroduce the product. (How can you start making a six-figure salary
from the comfort of your own home? Let me tell you…)
llUse subheads to tease, stimulate, and bring your prospect back
into the copy.
The living room is an extremely important part of the selling process. It’s
where you actually sit down and have a drink with your prospect.
You start by showing her all the benefits you can offer… respect, love, and
your undivided attention. Then you
offer some “proof.” You point out
“The best proof of love is trust.” your framed degree from Harvard
— Joyce Brothers University — where you learned the
fine art of book publishing.
Everything seems to add up. You seem like the real thing. But she needs to
be sure. After all, she’s fallen for men who’ve appeared sensitive, kind, and
intelligent. And she’s not about to get fooled again. So she starts asking
some pointed questions…
As you may have guessed, this is a dangerous room. It’s where you stand
the greatest chance of losing your prospect. Because right behind you is a
spiral staircase leading to your bedroom.
She sees it out of the corner of her eye… and tries to resist you. She doesn’t
want to make a mistake…

“It’s not thinking about the reader, but being able to look at
it as if you were the reader. See things through the reader’s
eyes… and write what the reader wants to hear.”
— David Deutsch, featured in AWAI’s Copywriting Genius: The Master
Collection
David’s been a copywriter for more than 30 years, after starting as a typist
at Ogilvie & Mather. His Estate Planning Guide promotion for Boardroom
was a control for many years, with several million mailings.

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But you keep selling her the promise. You appeal to her desire for a poet
warrior. And you make her feel like she can really complete you.
As you talk, she finds something warm and familiar in your eyes. She starts
opening up to you. You know she’s already there. So you lead her up the
stairs…

The Bedroom… Closing the Sale

Here you are, just outside the bedroom with your lovely
lady. You’ve done a lot of good work to get her to this room
(the close).
You know she wants what you want. But you don’t want any
regrets. So you remind her that you’re not like all the others
who’ve come and gone. Then you look her in the eyes and
ask for her permission. She reaches for your hand…
A strong close must…
llRestate the promise. (In 30 days or less, you’ll be the talk of the
town!)
llEquate the product with the desired benefits. (How can you be in
complete control of your career? There’s only one way… and it’s with
The Exec Planner.)
llRestate the USP. (Unlike most programs, this is written by people
who’ve sweated it out in the real world…)
But wait! There’s more! Before you extend your final offer to her… try this
powerful technique:

The Surprise Element of Approaching

and Withdrawing With the False Close
At this point, she knows what you’re after — or at least she thought she
knew what you were after. But instead of heading straight to the bedroom,

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 you made a quick, unexpected turn into the next room
over. The anteroom (your false close).
She’s a bit surprised… and her resistance level recedes.
Maybe she’s got you wrong after all.
Of course, you know her guard is down now. So you
provide another benefit of the relationship. You recite
a beautiful poem while slipping a promise ring on her
finger.
Remember, in order for the false close to work, it must…
llCome after the sale has been adequately made.
llApproach and withdraw. (Where can you get this wonderful
program? Before I answer that, let me tell you about another benefit
of membership…)
llMake another promise or state another benefit. (Not only will you
make six figures, but you’ll never have to work for a grouchy boss again!)
You’ve exceeded her expectations. She’s made the decision. So without a
moment to lose, you lead her to the bedroom. And this is where you finally
do two main things to close the deal…
llAsk for the sale. (Just send us your first monthly payment of $9.95
with this return coupon…)
llState or restate the offer. (If you send in just $24.95 today, you’ll
soon be wearing a beautiful, gold watch!)
The close also should…
llSummarize key benefits. (The Exec Planner is the only way to ensure
you’ll never miss a meeting, appointment, or special occasion again!)
llMake the deal seem like a good value. (If you had to pay separately
for each of these hand-bound books, you’d spend over $400. But
today, you can get them all for $89.95!)

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 llRationalize the buying decision. (If you went to a personal trainer,
you’d spend hundreds of dollars plus hours of your time to look good.
With my nutritional program, you’ll spend a fraction of the time and
cost of personal training… with better, faster results!)
llAdd an additional, unexpected benefit. (Did I mention how
much more quality time you’ll have with your family when you start
freelancing?)
llProvide a guarantee. (We’ll look at this in just a bit…)
llCreate a sense of urgency. (I only have a limited number of seats
available. If you don’t act soon, there’s a very good chance they’ll all
be filled.)
While you’re busy in the bedroom, I’ll move on to two final elements to
consider…

Your Guarantee and P.S.

At the very top of your house is a roof. Not only
does it complete the overall structure of the
house, but it protects your prospect.
The first half of your roof is the guarantee. This
is where you prove to your prospect she’s got
absolutely nothing to lose by giving you a chance.
If you’re not everything you promised — or if
she’s unsatisfied with the relationship for any
reason — she can leave you. No questions asked.
Consequently, your guarantee should…
llState the actual terms of the refund policy. (Take my nutritional
program for 10 days at the super-low price of $49.95. If you don’t lose
10 pounds in 10 days, just return the unused portion within 30 days,
and I’ll refund every single penny. No haggling. No questions asked.)
llAlleviate any residual buying reservations. (In fact, even if you cancel

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 within 30 days, I still want you to keep the two special reports as my gift
to you. Just for giving me some of your time. What could be fairer?)
Now, for the second half of your roof: the P.S. Here’s where you provide a
few more enticements…
llRestate a benefit. (You’ll look so beautiful that men will flock to your
door!)
llMake another promise. (Within 12 months, you’ll be leaps and
bounds ahead of your friends and colleagues… all because you went
into business for yourself!)
llProvide more credibility. (Not only is Dr. Woo a Board-Certified
heart surgeon, but he’s also a trained acupuncturist who’s healed
over 3,000 people.)
And finally, our very last component…

The Order Device…

The floor of your house is the order device. It must
be rock-solid or else everything on top of it will fall
— including your bedroom.
Your order device should…
llRestate the major promise in an affirmative
way. (You really can lose weight and feel
confident again!)
llRestate the guarantee. (That’s right… you get 30 days to decide if
you want to continue taking this revolutionary new program…)
llCollect all relevant data. (Purchase price, payment/shipping
options, customer information, etc.)
llSecure the signature. (Ask your prospect to sign on the dotted line.)
llPrompt the action. (Don’t delay… This offer is only good until
December 31st.)

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The order device can also…
llRestate the primary benefits.
llRestate the additional benefits.
There you have it. The secret “Architecture of Persuasion.” The
process by which you must court your prospect, charm her, and
ultimately bring her into a meaningful relationship.
When you keep this powerful metaphor at the front of your
mind, it will steer your copy in the right direction. You’ll have
the tools to win your prospect’s heart over and over again —
and to win many sales throughout the course of your career.

Use the Power of Words to Get What You Want

— Will Newman

1. Know your prospect (who you’re dealing with).

2. Make the message about the other person and her interests, needs,
and desires… not about you.
3. Spell out the benefits she will get.
4. Make benefits concrete and easy to imagine.
5. Support your claims with proof and logic.
6. Keep it simple.

The Sales Presentation… Wining and

Dining Your Prospect
By Mark Morgan Ford

A s you’ve just learned, the sales presentation (the living room) is where
you do the bulk of your work. It’s where you prove yourself to your
prospect, show her all the benefits she can enjoy, and move her to a
greater level of commitment…

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 Truth be known, it’s where most copywriters lose their prospect. After
doing so much good work in the headline and lead, they drop the ball
during the sales presentation in the body of the letter or email.
They forget to hook into their prospect’s core feelings, beliefs, and desires.
They lose sight of their big promise. And their copy starts to wander off
course…
They talk about ideas that are
“The space within becomes intrinsically interesting to them, but
the reality of the building.” not to the prospect. Or they go into
— Frank Lloyd Wright too much detail about the technical
intricacies of their “widget.”
What they fail to realize is that the sales presentation isn’t writing for
writing’s sake. It’s writing with a targeted purpose. To solidify the buying
decision in your prospect’s mind and move her toward the sale.
In order to do that, your sales presentation must…
üüMake and prove claims
üüRestate the promise
üüShow benefits
üüPresent your USP
üüState or restate the offer
It also should…
üüIntroduce an idea
üüProvide testimonials
üüIntroduce the product
üüUse subheads to tease and stimulate
How do all these parts work? I’ll show you. Let’s step inside the living room
for just a bit…

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 Making and Proving Claims
Throughout your sales presentation, you’ll be making and proving claims
to intensify your prospect’s desire for your product or service.
Remember, it’s not enough just
to make claims. You have to
“To be persuasive we must be prove that they’re reasonable
believable; to be believable we and accurate. And you have to
must be credible; to be credible prove them to your prospect’s
we must be truthful.” satisfaction.
— Edward R. Murrow Let’s say you were writing a sales
letter for a financial advisory
service not too long ago, during the height of the U.S. economic crisis. Your
letter claims that the American economy is in the toilet and that we’re in
one of the worst recessions since the Great Depression.
Would you expect your prospect to immediately accept this claim? Maybe.
But not always. Because you realize she needs to see proof before she’ll buy
into your idea.
So, you wisely gather up all the independent data you can get your hands
on… and embed it in your copy.
First, you share some government statistics…

According to the U.S. Department of Labor, the unemployment

rate has risen by 2.7% in the past 12 months. This may not
seem like much of a crisis — until you realize this increase
represents 4.1 million MORE people who are now jobless and
not contributing to the economy.

Now your claim seems more believable, doesn’t it? After all, you’re not
making up these numbers. They come from reliable sources.
But you don’t stop there. You show the nation’s track record over the past
century. The evidence is overwhelming. Every time unemployment has

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reached hyper levels, the country has undergone a deep and lengthy
recession. All the telltale signs are there.
Your prospect is now at ease with your claim. You’ve substantiated it with
sturdy, unbiased proof.
But, you want to be sure that you’ve completely erased any doubts she
may have. So you offer another tidbit of proof…
You find quotes from the nation’s top economists about the disastrous
financial climate… and you sprinkle them throughout your copy.
Now, you’ve proven your claim beyond a shadow of a doubt to your
prospect. Her skepticism recedes, and she follows you through the letter.
Let’s look at another example, this time from the AWAI “Hall of Fame: Great
Selling Ideas From 50 Super-Successful Direct-Mail Letters and Direct-
Response Ads” letter Swiss Money Strategies (Letter #16). This letter was
written in the 1990s by Don Mahoney. It was his first letter, in fact, and it
made between half a million and a million for this company.
Don started off with a bold claim…

Your wealth is in imminent danger.

The government wants — no, it needs your money. And a lot
of other people have set their sights on the savings that you
have worked hard for!

Taken at face value at the time, this was pretty audacious. It may have even
seemed like a ploy to stir the prospect’s fear. Why would anyone have
believed that their financial livelihood was at risk back then? It implied
they’ve somehow lost control. That someone got the better of them.
But Don was well aware of these mental objections. So he hurdled them
immediately.
He listed not one — but nine — threats to the prospect’s wealth in an
easy-to-read bulleted list and backed them up with statistical and factual
support. First, he addressed the threat of litigation…

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 In 1991, total court costs in the United States came to $132.2
billion! Yes, BILLIONS! If you include indirect costs, the figures
are much higher. And the more money you have, the more
likely you are to get sued.

The prospect was astonished by the figure. That’s certainly a lot of money
disappearing out of people’s pockets…
But she wasn’t satisfied yet. She still needed more to accept this claim. So,
Don nailed down another piece of proof. This time, it was the forfeiture
demon…

Federal forfeitures alone have taken over $2.5 billion from

U.S. citizens since 1985. State and local governments have
seized billions more. And it’s not just from drug smugglers.
Thousands of honest, private citizens have been attacked.
And more are being attacked every day…
These billions can be taken without charging or convicting
anyone of a crime, which is exactly what happens in 80%
of these cases. And remember, many of the victims of the
seizures are ordinary citizens. For instance, the IRS seized
the $26.37 bank account of a 6-year-old girl in order to help
reduce her parents’ debt. And because the U.S. indicted
Bobby Fischer for violating economic sanctions by playing
a chess match in Yugoslavia, Fischer faces forfeiture of
his chess prize if he returns to the U.S. These aren’t drug
smugglers. This is a child and a chess champion. It can
happen to anybody.

This one had it all… statistics, factual evidence, even the mention of a
quasi-celebrity.
Better yet, it prompted the prospect to ask herself: If the government can
seize money from a small child and a chess champion, what will they do to
me? The proof made the claim real and believable in the prospect’s mind.
As she read on, she discovered yet more menaces… theft, embezzlement,
and fraud.

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 Forget the burglar! White-collar crime costs U.S. businesses
over $40 billion a year. These criminals include accountants,
lawyers, and bankers who have access to your money.
According to criminologists, these crimes are increasing at
an exponential rate as more professionals become frustrated
with their careers. Who is handling your money?

Don provided even more proof to establish the validity of his claim. And if
this isn’t enough, he provided six other threats throughout the sales letter.
As these examples illustrate, you must always provide enough proof for
your claims to dispel your prospect’s skepticism.
But here’s the secret — and
this is where most novice
“The truth isn’t the truth until people
copywriters fail — you don’t
believe you, and they can’t believe have to prove your claims
you if they don’t know what you’re exhaustively. You don’t have
saying, and they can’t know what to go on for two pages
you’re saying if they don’t listen to explaining why you’re right.
you, and they won’t listen to you if In fact, you shouldn’t go
you’re not interesting, and you won’t on and on. Because then
you’ll enter into an academic
be interesting unless you say things
discourse with your prospect.
imaginatively, originally, freshly.” You’ll neglect her core
— William Bernbach feelings, beliefs, and desires
— and then you’ll lose her.
As a general rule of thumb, you should place your most compelling,
airtight proof toward the beginning of the sales letter. This will dispel your
prospect’s doubts when they’re at their strongest.
Once you’ve erased her doubts and gained her trust, you can prove your
claims quicker and with less explanation throughout the presentation.
What else happens in the living room?

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 Weaving the Promise
Promises. Promises. Promises. We can’t say it enough to our copywriters.
As you move through the body of your letter or email, you must never lose
sight of your promise.
After all, this is what your prospect is most interested in. This is what
brought her into your living room and on to the sofa. The promise of a
strong — yet sensitive — poet warrior.
But for a promise to truly resonate with your prospect, it must reach her on
three levels:
1. Desires
2. Beliefs
3. Feelings
Let’s look at an example. Say you’re selling gold coins to a middle-aged
male investor. From your research, you know he’s motivated by the
following beliefs, feelings, and desires…
llThe desire to be vindicated. (For years, he invested in gold with so-
so results while other investors made out like bandits in the stock
market.)
llThe belief that tangible items (gold) hold value better than intangible
items (stocks).
llThe feeling of anger with younger investors who think his investment
strategy is outdated.
So you take in all these ideas and try to create a full, three-dimensional
promise. Okay, let’s give it a try…

“When the Internet Bubble bursts,

your XYZ Gold Coins will still be standing tall.”

That’s not bad. It captures his burning desire for vindication … for power,

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 even. Let’s face it… This guy’s sick and tired of all those snot-nosed kids
making a killing in the market. “Sure,” he thinks, “some people make
money. But easy come, easy go. Everyone knows that gold is sure and
stable… tried and true.”
See how this promise is so much closer to your prospect’s heart than
something standard like…

“Buy XYZ Coins, and you’ll double your money.”

That type of one-dimensional promise doesn’t even come close to your

prospect’s wants.
Now that you’ve created your big promise, you must skillfully weave it
throughout your presentation. You must remind your prospect that the
day is going to come when he’ll be in the victor’s seat. People will suddenly
realize that he was right all along… and they’ll look up to him.
When you re-stimulate and resell
“But I have promises to keep,
your promise throughout the
and miles to go before I sleep,
presentation, you strike a chord
and miles to go before I sleep.” with your prospect and draw him
— Robert Frost further and further into your copy.

BENEFITS! BENEFITS!
Yes, I’ve said it time and time again. You can never have too many benefits.
Your teaser and headline will be benefit-oriented… your lead will deliver
your full, benefit-laden promise… and your body will s-t-r-e-t-c-h out every
last possible benefit.
Let’s review some benefits from your AWAI “Hall of Fame: Great Selling
Ideas From 50 Super-Successful Direct-Mail Letters and Direct-Response
Ads” collection…
From the Wall Street Journal, we get the benefits of knowledge and power.
The Gene Schwartz letter for Instant Improvement Inc., gives us the

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benefits of eradicating disease and living fully to the last day of our
lives.
And American Express provides us with a whole host of benefits…
travel services, hotel reservations, purchasing power, and financial
freedom.
As we’ve said, the best way to uncover benefits is to become truly intimate
with your product or service. You must explore its many parts. Try it on.
Heed its advice. Pull it apart. Take it, if at all possible.
Once you’ve done that, record your observations carefully. Ask a friend or
two to do the same. When you approach your product or service this way,
you’ll never miss a benefit… or an opportunity to wow your prospect.

The USP:
Your Point of Differentiation
Remember your Unique Selling Proposition (USP)? It’s where you show
your prospect all the ways your product or service is different, unique, or
fundamentally better than the competition.
If you’re selling a health newsletter, your USP may be that it’s written by
some of the most esteemed doctors in the country. If you’re selling a pair of
shoes, it may be that they’re made of the finest Italian leather available.
Generally speaking, you’ll want to spin this uniqueness throughout your
sales presentation. So your prospect never has an opportunity to forget
why your “widget” is the best and only solution to her needs.
Let’s say you’re selling a membership to a discount travel club. How might
you run the USP through your copy? First, you might talk about the fact
that the club has been around for 100 years — 50 years longer than any
other travel club in America.
Then, a bit later, you might mention that it’s the only club that has received
awards from Conde Nast Traveler and Travel & Leisure.
Finally, toward the end of the sales presentation, you might inform your

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prospect that it’s the only travel club that gives members opportunities to
win free vacations.
See how that works? The first piece of uniqueness piques your interest and
draws you into the copy. The next bit hits you a little harder. After all, this
can’t be some ordinary travel club. It seems different. Special even. Finally,
the last piece establishes the club’s perceived uniqueness and drives the
point home.
The Secret of the USP: Be Different… Get Noticed…
Be Successful

llWhen developing your own product, writing about someone else’s,

or promoting your own services as a copywriter, you MUST find a
way to stand out from the competition.
llFigure out the USP for your product by listening to the audience.
What is it they really want but can’t find in products that exist in
the marketplace now? Coming up with the right USP can mean the
difference between selling 100 and 10,000 items.
— Matthew Lesko, featured in AWAI’S Copywriting Genius: The Master
Collection
Matthew’s the guy on TV in his question-mark suit — an “oddball”
appearance used deliberately to get noticed. The New York Times noticed
and ran an extensive article about him. He became known as the “Free
Money Guy” with a USP: There’s no other place you can find so many
sources for “free” money.
Well, now that we’ve gotten our prospect’s attention, let’s start talking
numbers.

Stating the Offer… No IFs, ANDs, Or BUTs

Okay, we’ve finally reached that point in your letter. You’ve got to tell your
prospect straight up what she’s getting for what price and at what terms.
Don’t drag your feet in the living room.
If you’re selling a yearly subscription to a financial newsletter for $59.95,

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tell your prospect she’ll be getting a yearly subscription to a financial
newsletter for $59.95. Now is not the time to mince words.
Here’s a classic magazine subscription offer from Newsweek…

27 WEEKS OF NEWSWEEK FOR ONLY $2.97

That’s just 11 cents a week — little more than
1 1/2 cents a day!

Simple. Straightforward. To the point.

Here’s another from The Wall Street Journal…

Put our statements to proof by subscribing for the next 13

weeks for just $28…
Or you may prefer to take advantage of a longer term savings
for greater savings: an annual subscription at $107 saves you
$20 off The Journal’s cover price.
Our best buy — two years for $185 — saves you a full $69!

Notice that in this offer, the writer gives you a couple of options… and
draws out the benefits of each choice. Of course the best option — surprise!
— is the $185 subscription.
Sometimes your offer will be so strong that you may choose to state it in
the headline or in the lead. That’s a decision you can make once you have
some more experience under your belt. If this is the case, you’ll be restating
the offer in the sales presentation.

Ideas… the Stuff Dreams Are Made of

In the course of creating sales letters, many writers forget that they have to
do more than just paint benefits for their readers. They have to stimulate
their minds.
When you add ideas to your copy, you reach your prospect on a whole
different plane. You get her wheels turning… you give her something to
tinker with… something to pique her intellectual curiosity.

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 We’ve already discussed some
of the big ideas that have made
“Ideas are the beginning points their way into the AWAI “Hall of
of all fortunes.” — Napoleon Hill Fame: Great Selling Ideas From
50 Super-Successful Direct-Mail
Letters and Direct-Response Ads.”
Like “The Plague of the Black Debt” or “Year 2000 Forecasts.”
These are big ideas that appeal to specific audiences, such as conservative
investors or geopolitical thinkers. Although they don’t spell out a specific
benefit, they are intrinsically interesting in and of themselves. These types
of ideas are generally used to sell information products and services (e.g.,
books, newsletter and magazine subscriptions, advisory services).
But there are also smaller ideas you can bring out in your copy… such as
the idea of eating healthy, natural foods or the idea of making more money
for yourself. Here the reader-oriented benefits are easily identified. And so
we call them beneficial ideas. Because they’re easier to grasp, beneficial
ideas tend to be used for products such as watches, jewelry, and the like.
Before you start writing, think about how you might introduce a beneficial
or big, intrinsically interesting
“Ideas are like rabbits. You get a idea. What kinds of things
would your prospect respond
couple, learn how to handle them,
favorably to? What would
and pretty soon you have a dozen.” make her nod her head in
— John Steinbeck agreement? Smile? Move
closer to you?
Then, start building this idea in your sales presentation. It will enrich your
copy and increase your chances of winning the sale.

A Drum Roll, Please!

Presenting Your Product Or Service
Up until this point, you’ve told your prospect about all the ways your
product or service can improve her life, you’ve backed up all your claims

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with solid data, and you’ve proven your uniqueness. Now you’ve got to tell
her what’s behind Curtain #1…
You must present the actual product or service you have for sale.
Here are a couple of common ways to introduce a product or service:

The only place you can get this type of information is in XYZ
Digest…

Or…

Hi, my name is Joe Blow, and the reason I’m writing to you
is because I’m concerned about the political situation in Latin
America…

But we want our copy to be better than common. So let’s check out some
examples from your AWAI “Hall of Fame: Great Selling Ideas From 50 Super-
Successful Direct-Mail Letters and Direct-Response Ads.”
From the classic Wall Street Journal letter…

And that is why I am writing to you and to people like you

about The Wall Street Journal. For that’s the whole purpose
of The Journal. To give its readers knowledge — knowledge
they can use in business.
A Publication Unlike Any Other

Here the writer equates knowledge and power with the publication. If you
want to know more and make more out of your life, you need to look no
further than The Wall Street Journal…
Here’s one more from Prevention magazine…

But I know of only one publication that tells you — sincerely

and consistently — how you may combat these problems…
what you may do to try and live healthier in this unhealthy
world of ours: PREVENTION magazine.
If you’ve ever seen PREVENTION, you know its style…

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 This writer sets up the publication as the ultimate guide for natural, healthy
living.
And that’s how easy the product or service presentation is…
Of course, when the product becomes “your love and affection,” the task
becomes a little harder…

Testimonials… the Credibility Builders

Not only do you have to prove your claims, you have to prove that the
person(s) associated with your product or service can really deliver.
One of the best, most effective
“Get someone else to blow your ways of doing just that is by using
horn — and the sound will carry testimonials from real-life people.
twice as far.” — Will Rogers People who can attest to all the
good things your “widget” can do.
Let’s look at some Hall-of-Famers. First, from the Gene Schwartz letter…

“This book saved me from having a plastic disk put in my

back as advised by my doctors. It worked for others, so I’m
sure it wasn’t just me. I will buy any and all books by the
author — just let me know…” — Helen E. Mendata, Illinois

The book actually saved this woman from a painful and stressful surgery.
Now she’s a customer for life!
And another, from the Oxford Club…

“A 433% gain on one stock.”

“The information (The Oxford Club) provides is not available
elsewhere. You explain things that are often written in
code in the media. You make sense. I understand your
recommendations. That’s why I got in early on Caledonia and
made 50%. That’s why I picked up Hong Kong Shanghai Bank
at $30 (it’s now at $160, a 433% gain.)” — Carol J., Alaska

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Wow, a 433% gain!… That certainly says something for The Oxford Club’s
stock picks! This testimonial also vouches for the informative, easy-to-
understand newsletter.
See how testimonials work? Instead of telling your prospect how wonderful
your product or service is, you show him evidence… real words of praise
from real-life people. That’s so much stronger than just talking about your
product or service… and a great way to establish credibility.
As with your claims, you’ll want to place your strongest, most convincing
testimonial first to dispel your prospect’s skepticism. And you’ll want to
avoid a long list of testimonials because they tend to get skipped over.
Generally, it’s best to sprinkle them throughout your sales letter or email.
That way, you can keep reminding your prospect that you and/or the
people associated with your product or service can really, truly deliver.
Using Testimonials for Maximum Effect
“Testimonials work well if they are true. And the closer you can
get to truth, the stronger your sales message will be. When
working with testimonials, ask yourself, ‘How can I show this customer
experience as dramatically and truly as possible?’ You’ll get a much better
response.” — Mark Morgan Ford
And now for the final piece…

Subheads:
Breaking Your Copy Into Bite-Size Pieces
Throughout your sales presentation, you’ll be breaking up ideas and
information with subheads… big, bold words usually centered on the
page. They’re like mini-headlines that you sprinkle throughout your copy.
You should generally shoot for about two subheads per page.
Subheads have a couple of very specific purposes…
First, they break up long copy, making your letter or email easy to read. As
a result, your prospect will be more likely to stay engaged, giving you the
opportunity to develop your sales pitch more naturally and effectively.

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Second, they’re a great way to hook a prospect who’s simply giving your
copy a quick scan to see if anything sounds interesting. That way, she can
drop in and out without a great deal of effort. A good subhead will attract
her attention and arouse curiosity, so that she wants to read the next
section completely.
And here’s an added bonus… if your subheads provide enough interesting
ideas and compelling copy by themselves to keep the prospect engaged,
she might even decide to buy without ever reading the rest of your letter
or email.
Here are 3 tips for writing strong subheads…
1. Make sure every subhead you write relates to the copy that
follows it. If, for example, your subhead says something like, “How to
Accomplish More in 3 Hours of Work Than Your Coworkers Do in 8,”
you’d better have something in the next subhead that at least hints
at an answer. If you don’t, you’ll lose credibility, and your prospect will
think you’re trying to flim-flam her.
2. Once you’ve written a draft subhead, improve it by using the
4 U’s:
Is it Unique? Is the subhead different from other subheads in your
promotion and in other promotions? Or is it similar to subheads your
prospect has seen in many other ads?
Is it Useful? For instance, “How to Accomplish More in 3 Hours…”
might be good for a letter selling a supplement that boosts energy,
but it’s not very useful if you’re selling an investment newsletter.
Is it Urgent? Does the subhead push your prospect to act quickly?
Does it express urgency or timeliness? Or does it just sit on the page?
“How to Accomplish More in 3 Hours…” is certainly more urgent than
something like, “8 Vitamins You Need Daily.”
Is it Ultra-Specific? Don’t settle for generalities in your subheads (or
headlines). Tell the prospect, “17 Weeks to Lose 4 Inches” instead of,
“Lose More Weight Than You Thought Possible.”

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 3. Avoid using the product name in subheads, even at the close.
That’s like putting it in neon lights, which causes your prospect’s sales
resistance to rise before you get a chance to convince her you have a
way to make her life easier, more prosperous, healthier, or whatever.
Once you embrace subheads as the powerful copy elements they can be,
you’ll start to enjoy writing them… because you’ll quickly see how they
strengthen your copy.
The “When” of Writing Subheads
— Will Newman

Once you get used to working with subheads, you’ll develop a sense
for when one is needed in the copy. If you feel that one is needed while
you’re writing your first draft, go ahead and add it then… IF, that is, it
flows naturally from what you’re writing. But if that feeling hits you and
you don’t know what the subhead should say, don’t stop and try to figure
it out. Put “Subhead Goes Here” (in the same formatting you’re using for
the other subheads in the letter), and go back to it later.
Don’t expect to write good subheads with your first pass. Revise them as
you revise the rest of the copy. And try moving them around, bringing
them up or down by one or two paragraphs.
That wraps up the sales presentation. Remember, if you do a good job
here, you’ll have won more than half the battle. You’ll have moved your
prospect from desiring your product or service to actually buying it. And
once you’ve mentally “sold” her, most of your work is done. But it’s not all
done. Because there are still a few more steps you’ll need to take before
you can get the sale.

Your Next Exercise:

Exercise #17

Now, please go online to access Exercise #17…

Good luck… and happy writing!

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 The Anteroom… An Unexpected Turn Into
the Adjacent Room
By Mark Morgan Ford

A t this point, you’ve completed your sales presentation.

Your prospect is smiling up at you from her wine
glass. She’s feeling more comfortable with you, and she
starts opening up…
The proverbial ball is now in your court.
But you pause for a moment.
You’re not sure what to say. How do you get her up the
stairs and into your anteroom? And what do you whisper
to her while she’s there?
In just a moment, we’ll answer these and other questions for you. By the
time you complete this section, you’ll know how to whisk your prospect
off her feet and exceed her greatest expectations.
But before we go up the stairs, let’s linger in the living room for a bit.
Because you can’t move your prospect to a greater level of commitment,
if she’s not ready…

The Sale Must Be Adequately Made

Before you can even think about going up the stairs, you must know —
unequivocally — that your prospect is emotionally “sold.”
How do you know this? You know
she’s “sold” when you’ve convincingly
“Charm is a way of getting the and effectively played your strongest
answer ‘yes’ without having selling cards in the living room…
asked any clear question.”
You must have made a big, desirable
— Albert Camus
promise which rouses her feelings,
beliefs, and desires. You must have

Part 3 3-171
proven your claims to her utmost satisfaction. You must have established
the credibility of your product or service and the people associated with it.
And you must have articulated all the benefits to her in a concrete, detailed
way…
Still not sure?
Then, try this clever test: Give your letter to an outside reader who
resembles your prospect. If your prospect is a middle-aged woman, ask
a middle-aged woman to read your copy. If she’s a Generation Xer, get a
Generation Xer to read it.
As she moves through your sales presentation, see if she has the “Eureka”
experience. Is she charmed by what you’re saying? Is she smiling and
nodding her head?

The Purpose of the False Close

— John Wood
The false close in your sales letter serves three purposes:
llIt breaks up the linear nature of your sales letter. In copywriting,
there’s something called the Secret of the Categorical Imperative. In
a nutshell, it means if your reader can anticipate what’s coming up
next in your letter, he’ll recognize it and dismiss your letter. So while
your reader may be expecting you to ask for the order, by using a
false close, you surprise him, which keeps him guessing and keeps
his interest.
llIt lets the reader off the hook. Because the reader is expecting
to be asked to part with his money soon, he has his guard up. He’s
expecting the close, and when it doesn’t come, he feels a sense of
relief and lets his guard down.
llIt gives the reader another reason to buy what you’re
promoting. If you’ve written a good sales letter, the reader should
be excited by the benefits in store for him and ready to buy what
you’re selling. So when you divert his attention to yet another (and
unexpected) benefit or reason to purchase, it heightens his desire
for your product.

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If the answer to these questions is “yes,” you can be sure that the sale has
been made. She is right at the point where you want her to be.
But if — for some reason — the answer is “no,” the emotional sale has not
been made. Her skepticism outweighs her optimism. And you can’t move
on to what we call “the false close.” Because if you try to get her up the
stairs before she’s ready, there’s a very good chance you’ll lose the sale.
She’ll make some excuse. It’s getting too late. She has to work tomorrow…
and she really must go.
Then, it’s over. You’ve lost your shot.
So, always make sure your prospect is ready before you take her to the next
level…

Approaching and Withdrawing…

Moving Your Prospect Up the Stairs
Now that the sale has been made, what do you
do?
Well, you’ve got to say something to her.
Something that’ll indicate to both of you that
she’s ready to move forward…
So you lean over and say, “I’d really like to show
you the etchings in my bedroom.”
You both know what this means. She gazes
at you for a moment, and then starts moving
slowly toward the staircase.
This is what we call the “approach.” You use phrases assuming your prospect
has made the decision.
Salesmen have long referred to this as the “assumptive clause.”
Let’s look at some wonderful approaches from your AWAI “Hall of Fame:
Great Selling Ideas From 50 Super-Successful Direct-Mail Letters and Direct-

Part 3 3-173
Response Ads” collection. First, from the Popular Mechanics letter written
by John Francis Tighe. It remained a control for many years…

So what are you waiting for? Say YES today!

The price is right!

See how this works? It assumes the prospect has made the buying
decision… and motions him toward the actual, physical sale. It tells the
prospect to boldly say “Yes!” to Popular Mechanics…
Here’s another example, this time from National Geographic…

So join us as we circle the globe for a breath-taking ride.

The key word here is “join.” Join means “buy” to both the copywriter and
the prospect. And it signals the approach of the real sale.
Here are some other examples …

“When you become a new member…”

“As a new subscriber, you will…”

“After you’ve enrolled in this program…”

“In several weeks you will…”

See what’s going on here? All these approaches assume the prospect is
ready and urge her to consummate the sale.
But here’s something you have to remember about the approach. The
closer you get to the actual sale, the more aware your prospect is that
she is — in fact — being sold. Pretty soon she’s going to have to buy
something…
And this creates some apprehension within her. Even though she trusts

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 you, she’s still afraid of making a mistake. Because even savvy
buyers have been led to make poor decisions…
You — being a diligent copywriter — are well aware of her fear.
And you want to convince her that she’s making the right
decision. Because this isn’t a one-time thing. Your goal is to
establish a meaningful, lasting
relationship with her.
So instead of going straight to
the bedroom — which is what she now expects
— you make a quick turn into the adjacent room. The
Anteroom. At this point, she’s a bit confused. Maybe she’s
got you wrong, after all. Her apprehension dissipates…
This is what we call the “withdraw.”
You move her toward the sale. You get her all ready. Then you pull away.
Here are two examples of withdraws…

“By the way, there’s one thing I forgot to tell you …”

“Before I finish this letter, I want to tell you about …”

Notice how they move your prospect away from the sale…
At this point, you may be wondering why you would want to withdraw.
After all, you’re going to have to make the sale eventually. So why not
now?
Here’s why… When she thinks you’re going to ask for her money, her
resistance level rises. Apprehension starts to sink in. But when you do
what she least expects — which is to hold off on the sale — her sales
resistance drops. For a few precious moments, her guard is completely
down…
Which puts you in a sweet position…

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 An Added Benefit…
Because now you can hit her up with another benefit of your product or
service — right when she’s most open to you — and inflame her desire for
the sale.
Let’s see how some of the masters have tackled the false close. Back to the
National Geographic letter…

So join us as we circle the globe for a breathtaking ride…

{Approach}
Of course, there’s more to membership than the magazine.
{Withdraw}
You’re also invited to share other Society pleasures and privileges.
Your membership will bring you several handsome wall maps
each year in selected issues of NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC.
{Additional Benefits}
You’ll enjoy the opportunity to examine — FREE — low-cost
Society books, atlases, and globes in your own home… before
you decide to purchase. Intended as an inexpensive way to
build a home library, they also make beautiful, easy-to-order
gifts.
What’s more, you can take pride in knowing that a portion of
your dues will help the Society’s ongoing worldwide research,
exploration, and educational projects. Membership fees
enable the Society to fund geography education for children…
and the ventures of such scientists as Jane Goodall, Richard
Leakey, Eugenie Clark, Robert Ballard, and others.
When you join, you’ll also receive a personalized Membership
Certificate that’s suitable for framing, and a brief history of
the Society.

How’s that for additional benefits! The writer knew the prospect was
expecting him to go for the sale. So he wisely moved away from it… and
took full advantage. The writer doesn’t just throw in one benefit… but
seven distinct goodies! Now National Geographic seems like a stupendous
deal.

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Here’s another power-packed false close…

This is your invitation to become a charter member to New

Cures & Remedies, to start receiving our monthly journal
of new cures and treatments, to gain access to all the
background research and data you or your doctor will want
to know, to discover every new medical option nature and
science offers. This is your chance to give yourself a powerful
new way to stay healthy and avoid sickness by exposing
yourself to every new and important health discovery.
{Approach}
Let me give you one more example. It’s a problem that
30 million American men suffer from. I’m speaking about
impotence… {Withdraw}
New Erectile-Dysfunction Treatments Really Work!
{Additional Benefits}
For example, a Parkinson’s drug called apomorphine
appears to be able to greatly assist men troubled by erectile
dysfunction by stimulating portals of the patient’s brain.
And I’m sure you’ve heard of Topiglan by now. Or have you?
Topiglan uses a technology developed by MacroChem Corp.,
of Lexington, MA., that allows potent drugs to seep through
the skin by opening a temporary window in skin’s normally
impenetrable barriers. Topiglan results in strong erections
(with no side effects) in about 70% of the cases.
New Cures & Remedies Will Help You With “Smaller” Health
Problems Too!
You certainly don’t have to have serious health problems to
reap big health benefits from New Cures & Remedies. We’re
delivering treatments and cures that make just everyday
living fuller and healthier.
For example…
ŸN
 ew Treatment for Cuts: Have a cut? Need stitches? Ask
for “super glue” instead. New tissue adhesive fixes cuts
painlessly — in children or adults — without sutures or
anesthesia.

Part 3 3-177
 ŸA
 Medicine Your Children Will Love — Sugar! A common
sweetener can prevent ear infections in your child. A
recent study showed that xylitol sugar was effective in
preventing ear infections in children, and decreased the
need for antibiotics. BONUS: xylitol also helps prevent
tooth decay.
ŸC
 enturies-Old Joint-Pain Remedy Discovered: Researchers
working with aborigines in the Australian bush report
that tribes have been using wild rosella — an all-natural
herb — for generations as a powerful painkiller. This
herb neutralizes toxins that travel to the joints and cause
inflammation and pain. Rosella has also been found to
have strong antioxidant properties and is an excellent
source of vitamin C.
ŸP
 rotect Yourself from Persistent and Annoying Colds:
Human breast milk contains a fatty acid derivative called
glycerol monolaurate. This naturally produced substance
attacks the coating that enables viruses to latch onto
your normal, healthy cells. When these coatings are
destroyed, the viruses wither and die. Laboratory
research shows that glycerol monolaurate destroys
herpes, influenza, and a dozen other viruses.

Talk about benefits! The writer just keeps laying on benefit after benefit. He
gives the prospect so many goodies, the sale is inevitable. He must buy…

When to Use the False Close

— Katie Yeakle

llThe False Close comes near the end of your letter.

llJust when your prospect is expecting the sale… you switch to
something completely different such as another benefit or promise
your reader won’t be expecting.
llDon’t spend a lot time on your False Close… come back to your real
close quickly and it will now be stronger.

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 How do these masterful copywriters come up with so many additional
benefits? Well, I’m going to let you in on a little secret…
They don’t spend all their benefits in the living room. Sure, they play their
strongest cards to move their prospects up the stairs. But they always hold
back one or two benefits. They tuck them in their sleeves. Then, when they
get to the anteroom, they pull them out.
If you don’t have any extra benefits for the anteroom… if you needed
every single one just to move your prospect up the stairs… then you have
to do some reworking. Your product or service really isn’t extraordinary. It’s
merely mediocre. And you have to come up with different ways to make it
better.
When you do provide additional benefits for your prospect, you show her
you’re someone who delivers more than he promises. You establish her
confidence. And she starts to look at you in a benign way.
You also give her a taste of what it’s
like to be in a relationship with you
“If opportunity doesn’t knock, before she buys. If you were to lead
build a door.” — Milton Berle her up the stairs and immediately
jump on her, she would have a
negative experience with you.
But since you wowed her with all these wonderful benefits, you’ve
given her an extremely positive first experience. You’ve exceeded her
expectations. And she looks forward to starting a relationship with you.
Before you can whisper another word in the anteroom, she’s leading you
into the bedroom…
Just keep in mind that the false close is a sophisticated copywriting
technique. Consider using one in the sample letter you’re working on, if
you think it fits.

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The Bedroom… Closing the Deal
By Mark Morgan Ford

W ell, here you are in the bedroom. All your hard work
has finally paid off. Very soon, you’ll get just what
you came looking for. A loving, lasting relationship with the
woman of your dreams.
But, before you can consummate the sale, you want to make
sure she’s completely comfortable with her decision. You
need to assuage her fears, rationalize the purchase, and
convince her that she has nothing to lose… but everything
to gain.
Truth be known, this isn’t such a tall order. Because even if you bungle the
close, you’ll still get the sale.
How? Let me explain. If you’ve done a good job in all the other rooms
(especially in the anteroom), your prospect has already decided that she
wants your product or service. She really wants to make the sale happen.
So even if you trip on your words — even if you stumble and fall — she’ll
still be yours.
But we don’t want to botch up in the bedroom. We want to be just as strong
and compelling as we were in all the other rooms. We want to exceed her
expectations once again. We want to satisfy her.
In order to do that, our close must…
Restate the promise
Equate the product with the desired benefits
Restate the USP
Ask for the sale
State or restate the offer
It also should…

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 Summarize key benefits
Make the deal seem like a good value
Rationalize the buying decision
Add an additional, unexpected benefit
Provide a guarantee
Create a sense of urgency
Now, let’s look at each of these elements, one by one…

Return to the BIG Promise

As you’ve already learned, the big promise is the overriding benefit that
your product or service offers the prospect. If you’re selling a diamond
ring, the big promise may be wedded bliss. If you’re selling a financial
newsletter, it may be the chance to make a killing in the market.
And if you’re selling an
educational course, it may
“People get caught up in wonderful, be the opportunity to start
eye-catching pitches, but they don’t a meaningful, prestigious
do enough to close the deal. It’s no career.
good if you don’t make the sale. The point is, when you start
Even if your foot is in the door or you to “close” your prospect,
bring someone into a conference you must go back to the
room, you don’t win the deal unless big, original promise that
you actually get them to sign on the brought your prospect into
dotted line.” — Donald Trump the letter or email. You must
remind her of what she’s
really getting.
This is important, because in the course of the sales letter, you’re going to
move around a lot. You’re going to talk about benefits… then you’ll move
into proof… maybe you’ll even reveal some of the product’s features. And

Part 3 3-181
you don’t want to lose sight of the big, enticing promise you initially made
to your prospect.
A Reminder: The Big Idea Flows Throughout the Letter
— Katie Yeakle
Sometimes, new copywriters struggle with the difference
between the sales letter’s lead and the Big Idea. Think of the lead/Big
Idea relationship as this:
llThe lead “houses” the Big Idea. The lead’s job is to hook the
prospect emotionally into the product and to hook him into
reading the rest of the letter. You accomplish this with a powerful,
compelling Big Idea.
llA successful sales letter takes this Big Idea and weaves it into the
copy throughout the entire letter — even into the close as you’ve
learned here.
The Oxford Club invitation letter in the AWAI “Hall of Fame: Great Selling
Ideas From 50 Super-Successful Direct-Mail Letters and Direct-Response
Ads” collection illustrates the importance of returning to the big promise.
The letter opens up with the promise of earning remarkable profits. Then,
it discusses the Club itself. We soon find ourselves at chapter meetings,
galas, and worldwide profiteering expeditions.
But we don’t stay there long. Because the writer keeps coming back to the
original promise he made to his prospect: that he’ll earn substantial profits
when he becomes a Club member.
Notice what a good job he does at the
close. By giving the prospect specific
examples and figures, he whets his
appetite for Oxford Club membership.
And by “showing all the marbles” by
doing the math for the prospect, it
helps the promise feel tangible.
What else do you need to do?

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 Product Or Service = Benefits
You need to equate your product or service with all the wonderful benefits
you’ve been talking about. This is important. Because, when it’s all said
and done, your prospect isn’t going to get prestige, health, adventure, or
beauty through the mail or online. He’ll be getting a product. A newsletter.
A nutritional supplement. A watch. Or a piece of exercise equipment.
And you need to start bringing your prospect closer to the actual product
or service you have for sale. Now, I’m not saying to go into a discourse
about its physical properties and specifications. Nobody likes that. It’s
boring. It’s overkill. And worse yet, it detracts from the sale.
What I’m talking about is presenting your product or service as the
embodiment of all those good things you’ve been talking about
throughout your sales letter or email.
Let’s turn to some examples from the AWAI “Hall of Fame: Great Selling
Ideas From 50 Super-Successful Direct-Mail Letters and Direct-Response
Ads” letters.
First, from PREVENTION magazine. This old-fashioned letter was very
successful in its time. It launched a magazine that’s still huge today for
Rodale, one of America’s most successful publishers. Notice how the writer
equates the magazine to all the big benefits he’s laid out in the letter:
staying better and getting better the all-natural way.

Because PREVENTION is the cheapest, most easily accessible

source that you have to much of the latest medical research
findings… to some of the alternative ways to try to “get
better” and “stay better” without resorting to drugs and
surgery… to the basic, earthy, natural approach to better
health and better living that my Grandmother (and perhaps,
yours, too) knew almost intuitively.

Here’s a short but sweet example from American Express. In one concise
sentence, Trembath shows the prospect how his product really can deliver

Part 3 3-183
 all the travel, entertainment, and “privileged” benefits he’s outlined in his
letter. By the way, this billion-dollar letter, written by William J. Trembath of
Ogilvy & Mather Direct, was mailed for 12 years to over 280 million names
in 14 countries. 150 other letters were unable to beat this control!

In a few words, American Express Cardmembership is the

most effective letter of introduction to the world of travel,
entertainment, and the good life yet devised.

Here’s one more example from Health Sciences Institute. Promising “hope,”
especially in the close, is key to selling health products…

You may no longer have to fear these dreaded diseases.

And neither do your loved ones. You can give the life-saving
information we uncover to your children and grandchildren —
and ensure that your loved ones prosper in the years to come!

That’s how easy it can be.

Tell Her Again and Again Why You’re

Different From All the Others…
In the living room, you told your prospect how you’re not like all the other
guys who’ve come her way. You’re different. And you can offer her a
relationship unlike any other.
That’s your USP… your unique selling proposition. And you want to keep
coming back to it throughout your letter or email. You never want your
prospect to think what you’re offering is merely ho-hum.
Especially in the bedroom.
“The greatness of art is not to find This is where you want
what is common but what is unique.” to remind her of all
— Isaac Bashevis Singer your “unique attributes”
(whatever they may be).
Let’s turn to a wonderful example in the AWAI “Hall of Fame: Great Selling
Ideas From 50 Super-Successful Direct-Mail Letters and Direct-Response

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Ads” letters. The billion-dollar blockbuster Wall Street Journal letter written
by Martin Conroy.
In the sales presentation, the writer touts the newspaper’s USP…

A Publication Unlike Any Other

You see, The Wall Street Journal is a unique publication. It’s
the country’s only national business daily. Each business day,
it is put together by the world’s largest staff of business-news
experts.
Each business day, The Journal’s pages include a broad range
of information of interest and significance to business-minded
people, no matter where it comes from. Not just stocks and
finance, but anything and everything in the whole, fast-
moving world of business… The Wall Street Journal gives you
all the business news you need — when you need it.

Then, he wisely restates the USP in the close of the letter. Now the prospect
can’t help but be impressed…

Much of the information that appears in The Journal appears

nowhere else. The Journal is printed in numerous plants across
the United States, so that you get it early each business day.

After the writer completes this important closing element, he has nowhere
else to go. He must…

Look Her Straight in the Eyes

and Ask for the Sale
By this time, you should have no embarrassment about asking for the sale.
She’s ready to buy, and you’re ready to give her what she came in for. There
is no mystery or confusion.
Let’s see how some of the masters pop the big question… From Swiss
Money Strategies…

Part 3 3-185
 Reduce Your Financial Profile Today!
Once again, the time to take advantage of Swiss Money
Strategies is right now! By the time you see one of the
locomotives bearing down on your nest egg, it’s going to be
too late! Pick up that nest and move it!

This writer boldly asks for the sale and even creates a sense of urgency in
the prospect’s mind. Nobody wants to see the nest egg they worked so
hard for crushed and destroyed!
What about this?

TRY Newsweek.

It doesn’t get any simpler than that!

But — hold on — before you can move to the sale, you need to remind her
what she’s actually getting…

Ask Three Times

— Katie Yeakle
The right way to close a sales presentation is to ask for the order
more than once. Three times is ideal.
Ask for the sale… provide an additional benefit… then ask for it again!
And repeat.

Restate the Offer

You need to tell her specifically what she’s getting and for what price.
llIn the Swiss Money Strategies letter, it’s a special report for $29.
llIn the American Express letter, it’s cardmembership for $35 a year.
llIn the Newsweek letter, it’s a 27-week subscription for $2.97.
You get the idea.
If you’ve diligently focused on benefits and promises throughout your letter

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or email, your offer should be a strong one. And your product or service
should have a higher perceived value than the amount you’re going to ask
for.
But, if you have any reservations about asking for her money, you need to
remind her of what she’s really getting before you reveal the price. One of
the ways you can do this is by summarizing your product or service’s key
benefits…
Benefit #1 (BAM!)…
Benefit #2 (BAM!)…
Benefit #3 (BAM!)…
The close is the perfect place to pull out the strongest, juiciest benefits
you have for your prospect… and remind her of all the great things she’s
getting.
It works like this… First, you lay Benefit #1 on her… and she moves a bit
closer to you. Then, you go for Benefit #2… and she starts to give you
those eyes. And by the time you’ve laid out Benefit #3, she’s yours.
Let’s see how one guru (Bill Bonner) summarizes key benefits in one of the
longest running controls in the newsletter business. He does this to justify
his price and move closer to the prospect…

In this brief letter, we have only been able to skim the

surface of the opportunities… adventures… money-making
and money-saving strategies presented in each and every
issue of INTERNATIONAL LIVING. And for every topic
covered, INTERNATIONAL LIVING surveys the best
information available… from government agencies, from
private firms, from independent analysis.
On currencies, for example, INTERNATIONAL LIVING
studies the predictions of world-renowned expert Robert
Czeschin, editor of World Investor. It would cost you
hundreds of dollars to get this advice on your own. But this
information comes to you in simple, concise form as part of
your subscription to INTERNATIONAL LIVING.

Part 3 3-187
 The same is true for all the subjects INTERNATIONAL
LIVING covers. You get information that would cost you
hundreds of dollars annually, and take hours of your time to
compile — if you had to arrange it all on your own. We put
you in touch with a network of correspondents throughout
the world. Writing from Great Britain, the Greek Islands,
Hong Kong, North America, France, the South Pacific, and
dozens of other areas around the world, these correspondents
make sure you have the first hand, unbiased information
you need to benefit from your international travel or living
experience.

You have to admit… that’s certainly a lot of benefits for any prospect.
She gets loads of travel and lifestyle information from some of the
best correspondents around the world. She gets currency information,
opportunities, money-making and money-saving strategies…
Notice how Bill Bonner also starts to position his subscription as a “good
deal.” He says:

It would cost you hundreds of dollars to get this advice on

your own. But this information comes to you in a simple,
concise form as part of your subscription to INTERNATIONAL
LIVING.

Then, he pushes the card a little further:

You get information that would cost you hundreds of dollars

annually, and take hours of your time to compile — if you had
to arrange it all on your own.

Now the subscription seems like an incredible deal — especially when he

unveils the price (an annual subscription for just $49).
This is an extremely powerful selling technique that you should use in your
own letters. Let’s look at it for just a bit longer…

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 Make the Deal Seem Like a Good Value
As you’ve just seen, one of the best ways to move your prospect toward
the sale is to make it seem like a good value. That she’s getting something
much bigger than what she’s paying for.
It’s no secret that people everywhere like to get good deals. Bargains even.
It makes them feel as though they’re shrewd buyers… in complete control
of their decisions.
Let’s check out a super deal from The Oxford Club letter…

How Much is Membership Worth to You?

It’s impossible to put a dollar value on the information you’ll
receive as an Oxford Club member — through your monthly
communiqué, special briefings, bulletin letters, club trips…
even the knowledge you can gain from one-on-one interaction
with other successful members at club events.
If one were to try, I suspect the minimum value of
membership could be in the neighborhood of $2,000 or more,
based solely on what I’ve listed above. But I can also tell you
through experience that any financial advisor with a track
record of investment success like ours — assuming 1) they
exist, and, 2) they take on individual clients with less than $1
million — could command many thousands of dollars for his
or her services.
Furthermore, there’s no telling what that advisor would
charge if he had a history of 200%, 400%, and $1,300% on his
most aggressively recommended investments, like The Oxford
Club has in recent years. And of course, few advisors can
provide you with all the additional wealth-protection benefits
The Oxford Club can — like global diversification, currency
protection, offshore money havens, tax-savings information,
estate planning, and so much more.
However, membership in The Oxford Club will not cost you
several thousands of dollars. It won’t cost you $500… or even
half that.

Part 3 3-189
 One year’s dues to The Oxford Club is just $150.
But as excellent a value as that is, you won’t pay that
amount, either.
As a specially sponsored invitee — someone we’ve singled out
for membership in our Club — you can join for a mere $119 for
one year — a 21% savings. Or, if you prefer, you can choose
the extremely popular two-year membership option for only
$179 — a more than 40% savings.
I know these dues seem absurdly low.

How’s that for a deal? This technique is very masterfully done. The writer
builds the Club membership up to a value of at least several thousand dollars.
But, you won’t pay a couple of thousand bucks. He offers you a year in the
Club for just a fraction of what it’s worth. Only $150.
Just as you’re about to look for the order form, he makes you an even better
deal. Because you are so special, he’s going to give you the whole enchilada…
for just $119! Remarkable. Now the prospect has every reason to buy.

Rationalize the Decision

Making the deal seem like a good value is probably the most powerful way
to rationalize the buying decision in the prospect’s mind.
The key word here is rationalize. You’re going to tell the prospect why she
has every reason to go ahead with the decision she’s made. Because she’s
getting this and that, and because this is really the best deal around.
From this 11-year control for Omaha Steaks International…

Do you agree you should sample Omaha Steaks, especially

since you can have them at more than 40% off the usual
price? Do you agree you should give me the opportunity to
prove my point: that you deserve the best, and this is it?
Do you agree you can’t lose, since I’m taking all the risk as
proof that we do want you in the select group we regard as
“family” — those who have tasted the royalty of fine steaks?

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Notice how the writer talks to the prospect’s head… instead of to her
heart. He’s giving her every logical reason to send in the form today. She’s
getting the best steaks for more than 40% off the regular price. And —
better yet — she has nothing to lose in the worse case scenario. All the risk
falls on him.
What else can you do to convince your lovely lady that she’s making the
right decision? How about giving her…

An Additional Benefit
You can never put in too many benefits. And the close is no exception. If
you have even one more benefit to lay down, do it here. Give your prospect
that little extra push.
Let’s look at another example from Bill Bonner’s International Living sales
letter…

And even if you never take advantage of any of the

exciting ideas in each issue of INTERNATIONAL LIVING,
you’ll still find your subscription well worth the price. You
see, INTERNATIONAL LIVING is entertaining as well as
informative.
It can bring you the excitement and glamour of living in
foreign countries even if you never leave your armchair.
INTERNATIONAL LIVING is your passport to a brighter,
more exciting, more adventuresome future.

Now, that is an additional benefit! Not only will International Living give
the prospect all the information she needs to live a better life, it will also
take her on exciting adventures throughout the world… without her ever
having to leave her armchair. That’s appealing… and it gives the prospect
yet another reason to go for the sale.
Sometimes, you’ll want to save that additional, unexpected benefit for the
P.S. of your letter or email. In the next section, we’ll show you how to use
the P.S. to attract even the most skeptical prospect.

Part 3 3-191
 Find the Deeper — Often Intangible — Benefits…
— Will Newman
Look even deeper into your product to find core benefits. This is
the larger-than-life stuff. Often, the core benefits are intangible.
For example, the core benefits for the Magical Cat Litter Box include: I’m
keeping my family safe from potential diseases carried by cat waste. My
neighbors will no longer sniff the moment they walk into my house. And
— most important for a cat lover — my cat will love me more for keeping
his litter box pristine.

Plus, it goes without saying that your prospect wants some kind of
assurance that she’s not going to make a mistake. She doesn’t want to feel
like a fool after the transaction has been made.
So you’ll give her a guarantee. A 100% satisfaction, money-back guarantee
that proves she really has nothing to lose by trying your product or service.
Now, there are guarantees. And there are guarantees! When we get to the
next section, we’ll show you several kinds of guarantees as well as the one
cardinal rule guiding every single direct-response guarantee.
But, I’m getting ahead of myself. First, let’s finish up the close.

Create a Sense of Urgency

If you can, try to think of a reason why someone should buy your product
or service now rather than later. Will all the seats be filled up? Is there some
kind of time constraint? Are you allowed to offer the opportunity only to a
certain number of people?
Generally speaking, it’s better to think
of a real reason why your prospect
“Without a sense of urgency, should make the purchase now. But if
desire loses its value.” you can’t, you can always give her some
— Jim Rohn kind of an incentive for responding
early. Maybe a special report or a free
cassette.

3-192 Part 3
If you don’t have anything extra to offer, you can simply make a “call to
action.” Prospects are used to seeing phrases like, “respond in the next
seven days” or “please respond immediately.” In most cases, they won’t
even question it.
Now, let’s turn to some final examples. From the Gene Schwartz letter for
Instant Improvement…

The sooner you start, the better you’ll feel. So order today.

This is an interesting approach. More than likely, this prospect is currently

in pain or has had a history of health problems. So when this writer tells her
to order now, he actually gives her a real reason to do so. The sooner she
gets the information she needs, the better she’ll feel.
4 Easy Ways to Add Urgency to Your Copy
— Bob Bly

1. Promise quick results. “Get rid of foot pain — in just 7 days!”

2. Put a deadline on your offer. “To get Product X, you must reply by
February 15, 2009. After that, it’s too late.”
3. Offer a quick-response bonus — an extra free gift if they reply within
the next 10 days: “Act now and you’ll receive a FREE bonus — an
exclusive audio interview with Katherine Harris, not available in stores.”
4. Add a time element. “How to Make $100,000 Working At Home This
Year” is stronger than “How to Make $100,000 Working At Home.”
What about this example from National Geographic?

I honestly believe you’ll enjoy being a member of the National

Geographic Society… And because this may be the only
invitation you’ll receive this year, I urge you to mail the
enclosed acceptance form with your dues today.

Here, the writer gives the prospect a seemingly legitimate reason to take
advantage of the offer today. Invitations are only sent out once a year. And
if she doesn’t respond now, she’ll miss out on a wonderful opportunity to

Part 3 3-193
 become part of the prestigious National Geographic Society.
See how that works? Good! Because this completes everything you need to
know to make your big move in the bedroom… and get your prospect to
consummate the sale.
Yes, we’re in the home stretch now! In the next section, we’ll talk about the
all-important guarantee and P.S. — the roof completing the structure of
your house.

The Roof… Protecting Your Prospect From

Any Harm
By Mark Morgan Ford

C ongratulations! You’ve just consummated the

sale! Now, you’re ready to move on to two
more important elements. The guarantee and the
P.S.… the roof of your house.
Not only does the roof complete the basic
structure of your house, it’s also a key part of the
“romantic” selling process. It offers your prospect
protection and security after she’s made the
buying decision.
Because it isn’t enough to just “sell” your prospect. You’ve got to reassure
her and make her feel good about her choice.
So, you must shingle the
“Every man I meet wants to protect roof… first by building a
me. I can’t figure out what from.” rock-solid guarantee and
— Mae West then by nailing down a
power-packed P.S.

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Let’s start at the beginning…

Why We Need Guarantees

The guarantee is one of the most powerful ways to offer reassurance to
your prospect.

Rationalizes the Reduces buyer’s Initiates the ongoing

buying decision remorse relationship

Specifically, your guarantee fulfills three goals…

Let’s look at each of these points briefly…
After you sell your prospect emotionally, you must sell to her head. You
must rationalize the sale.
Well, the guarantee helps you do just that.
It allows your prospect to provide herself with an ironclad reason for
committing her money. Because she really has nothing to lose. There are no
risks.
With a guarantee, the sale is really not a sale at all. It’s merely an agreement
to pay after a certain trial period has ended. And who can refuse that?
(In just a bit, we’ll look at an example from the AWAI “Hall of Fame: Great
Selling Ideas From 50 Super-Successful Direct-Mail Letters and Direct-
Response Ads” collection that conveys this specific idea.)

Part 3 3-195
Guarantees also address emotional responses such as buyer’s remorse. This
is that nasty little feeling the buyer gets when she starts to question her
purchase. It’s when she realizes that moisturizing cream she’s going to buy
isn’t really a natural facelift… that what she’s really buying is a product.
And suddenly, that doesn’t seem so exciting anymore.
Even though your prospect may have been initially satisfied with the
product at the literal level (e.g., it’s made of the finest age-defying
ingredients), she’s suddenly missing the deeper, psychological benefit she
hoped it would bring (e.g., the love of a handsome young man).
Your job — as the savvy copywriter — is to dispel these negative feelings.
To reduce her buyer’s remorse and lead her closer to the sale.
So, what do you do? You present your guarantee.
You show her that she has absolutely nothing to lose — but everything to
gain — by purchasing your product. If she isn’t completely satisfied… if the
cream doesn’t do everything you said it would… she can get a full refund.
Now, that’s peace of mind. The buyer’s remorse starts to dissipate, and
the prospect has renewed faith in her purchase. She is making the right
decision…
Finally, your guarantee initiates the ongoing relationship. If your prospect
knows that you stand behind your product, she will see you as a
trustworthy, ethical person.
As a result, she’ll be much more likely to buy from you again. This not only
creates a loyal customer, but a profitable customer — who will generate
repeat sales for you.

Relationships and the True Purpose of Advertising

— John Forde
True marketing and honest advertising aims only to connect
worthy sellers with interested buyers.
That is, responsible advertising builds relationships. GOOD, responsible
advertising only hastens them.

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That’s enough talk about guarantees. Let’s look at some examples from the
AWAI “Hall of Fame: Great Selling Ideas From 50 Super-Successful Direct-
Mail Letters and Direct-Response Ads” collection…

The Standard Fare

First, from the Wall Street Journal letter…

Should the Journal not measure up to your expectations, you

may cancel this trial arrangement at any point and receive a
refund for the undelivered portion of your subscription.

What do you think about this guarantee? Overall, it’s a good basic
guarantee for the product.
As you can see, The Wall Street Journal’s subscription offer is nothing
special. It’s typical of the newspaper industry.
But this copywriter makes it seem special to the prospect.
He cleverly uses the phrase, “Should the Journal not
RISK FREE
measure up to your expectations…”
This sounds like a customized trial offer (instead of a
subscription) and makes the deal seem more flexible
than it really is.
Also note that this guarantee is appropriate for this specific product. Since
The Wall Street Journal is a reputable — even esteemed — publication, it
doesn’t need to be backed up by a super-strong guarantee. The prospect
already believes that it will deliver. (We’ll talk more about this idea in just a
moment.)
Here’s another one…

Better Than Average

From the Dale Carnegie space ad for How to Win Friends and Influence
People…

Part 3 3-197
 It is not necessary to send any money now… If this book does
what we claim, it will mean more to you than ANY book you
have ever read. If it doesn’t, we do not want you to keep it.

Now, this is a little stronger, isn’t it? First off, the writer gives her a chance
to receive the book and then make up her mind whether to return it or
pay for it. Then, he tells her that she must be personally satisfied that it will
mean more to her “than ANY book” she has ever read or she gets to return
it with no questions asked. That’s a pretty strong statement — stronger
than the statements made in our previous example.
Of course, this guarantee isn’t stronger for its own sake. It’s stronger
because it has to be…
In our previous example, we illustrated how The Wall Street
Journal’s guarantee fits the product. After all, The Wall
RISK FREE Street Journal is an established newspaper and most
people believe that it can deliver its big promise (i.e.,
provide unparalleled financial, business and world news).
But what about this product? How do we know that
this book can really be a more meaningful book than
ANY book the prospect has read? Especially when you consider that other
books, such as the Holy Bible, may play a very important role in her life.
See what I mean? The claim is much less believable. The product is more
questionable. So the guarantee must be stronger and must include more
persuasive language.
Finally…

The Unequivocal Guarantee

From the Burn Disease Out of Your Body letter…

Try these Internal Exercises, on your own body, in the privacy

of your own home, for as long as you wish, entirely at our risk.

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 If they do not do everything that Dr. Chang says, if you are
not delighted beyond belief, simply return that book at any
time, and every cent of your purchase price will be refunded
immediately, without quibble or question.
What could be fairer?

This book promises to show the prospect how to burn disease out of her
body. Now, that’s a strong claim. (Even if the book could show the prospect
how to do this, it’s questionable whether it’s physically possible to “burn”
disease.) In either case, it’s sure to raise the prospect’s suspicion.
So to reassure her, the copywriter needs to create an extraordinary,
unequivocal guarantee. And that’s exactly what he does.

RISK FREE The prospect’s complete and utter satisfaction is

guaranteed. Period. There are no qualifiers or disclaimers.
She can try the Internal Exercises for as long as she
pleases risk-free. The guarantee doesn’t “expire” in a
couple of weeks or couple of months. It lasts forever!
Also observe the language and tone in this guarantee: “If you are not
delighted beyond belief… every cent of your purchase price will be refunded
immediately, without quibble or question.” And “try these Internal Exercises on
your own body, in the privacy of your own home.” Not only does it treat the
prospect with the utmost care, it appears to convey much more than the
“bare bones” offer really provides.
The unequivocal guarantee
“If you work just for money, you’ll tells the prospect that she
will receive a high level of
never make it, but if you love what
service in her relationship
you’re doing and you always put the with the product. No ifs,
customer first, success will be yours.” ands, or buts. As long as
— Ray Kroc she remains a customer, her
satisfaction is guaranteed.

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This is the strongest type of guarantee you’ll want to have. Because if you
go much more beyond it, you’re likely to lose some credibility.
Let me explain…

BONUS SECRET: Why You Should Avoid Screaming,

Triple-Your-Money-Back Guarantees…
In the course of creating direct-response promotions,
many copywriters strive to conjure up the strongest
guarantee they possibly can. And you can’t blame them.
Because they’ve been told over and over again that
stronger guarantees generate greater sales.
And while it’s true that a stronger guarantee will generally increase your
response, it’s a fallacy that you should create super-strong, screaming
guarantees.
Here’s why…
Your guarantee must always be tailored to your product or service. If
you’ve established a good deal of credibility and value for your product (as
in the Wall Street Journal example), it doesn’t make sense to have a roaring,
undignified guarantee.
You don’t need to. The prospect already believes that the product can do
everything that you said it would.
A super-strong guarantee is used only when you sense that it’s still hard
for your prospect to believe your promises and claims (and when you can
financially afford to do so). In that case, you may want to step back and
examine your sales letter. Why is it hard for your prospect to believe your
claims? Is it because you need to establish more credibility? Is it because
your product or service is really just mediocre… instead of extraordinary?
Try to fix these other areas before relying on an extra-strong guarantee.
It’ll make your sales letter or email structurally better and your offer more
believable.

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 Remember, the more credibility
“The aim of marketing is to know and believability your product or
service has, the more dignified
and understand the customer so
your guarantee should be. (When
well the product or service fits him you get to the Masters Program
and sells itself.” — Peter Drucker for Six-Figure Copywriting, you’ll
learn even more secrets about
guarantees. Like how to satisfy your prospect without having to refund her
money. But for right now, I want you to absorb the basics.)

Let Me Say This Again…

As you may have guessed, it’s always a good idea to repeat or restate your
guarantee throughout the promotion. You want to constantly remind your
prospect that she has nothing to lose and that her complete satisfaction is
guaranteed.
If you’re writing a direct-mail package, you could repeat it on your order
device (we’ll look at this element in just a bit) or expand upon it in the
P.S. to increase the strength of your letter or email. You may even want to
create a separate element in your package, such as a buckslip or lift note, to
showcase your guarantee.
If you’re writing an email letter or a website landing page, you might want
to repeat the guarantee in a sidebar
or at the top of the shopping cart
order page.
The point is, your
guarantee is worth
repeating, especially “Tell them once so they
toward the end of
see it, tell them twice so
your letter when
you’re justifying the they understand it, and
sale. So, don’t worry tell them a third time
about being repetitive.
As they say in sales… so they buy it!”

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 Use Your Guarantee to Dispel Your
Prospect’s Fears and Objections
Even if your prospect is emotionally and intellectually sold on your product
or service, she may still have several objections or fears that you haven’t
addressed.
For example, if you’re selling a water filter, she may be worried that it will
make the water smell or taste funny. This is a completely legitimate fear,
but maybe one you’ve overlooked.
So, you might say something like this in your guarantee…

I’m convinced you’ll love your new Wondra-Filter… that you’ll

find drinking water a pleasure once again. I’m so sure every
glass you drink will be crystalline clear… free from odors…
and so close to tasting like spring water… that I’m offering
you a 100% satisfaction, risk-free guarantee…

Before you create your guarantee, write down any fears or objections that
your prospect may have about your product or service. Then seek to dispel
them in your guarantee.
Don’t worry if your guarantee is a little bit longer than some of the
guarantees you’ve seen in the AWAI “Hall of Fame: Great Selling Ideas
From 50 Super-Successful Direct-Mail Letters and Direct-Response Ads”
collection. The last thing you’d want to do is lose a sale because your
guarantee didn’t address one of your prospect’s greatest fears.

The P.S.: A Few More Enticements

The postscript — or P.S. — is a vital part of any direct-response offer.
It’s true. The P.S. actually inflames your prospect’s desire for your product
or service right before she signs on the dotted line. That’s powerful stuff…
How powerful? Some copywriters claim an exemplary P.S. can boost
response all the way up to 100%!

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Now, we’re not going to take it that far. While it’s true that an exemplary P.S.
can lift your response rates, it would be absurd to think that it could double
your sales. That’s just not possible.
In fact, this is just another example of the various copywriting myths floating
around out there. Here’s another one…
That the primary purpose of a P.S. is to
restate, reinforce, or summarize the offer.
Wrong! This is just not the case. You could
do that, and it certainly wouldn’t kill your
letter. But you wouldn’t want to do it.
The P.S. can be a very powerful tool — if
you know how to use it. (And that’s what
you’re going to learn right now.)
You see, in an ideal world, your prospect
would sit down with your letter and read
it from beginning to end. But that’s not what usually happens. What usually
happens is that she glances at your headline and turns to the end of your
letter to see what it’s really about. This is when she comes across your P.S.
When you look at it this way, you can see that your P.S. becomes an
opportunity to pull your prospect into the promotion… and move her one
step closer to the sale.
So, if you simply restate your offer, what are you doing? You’re
presenting it stripped of any emotion. And you know (or you ought to
know by now) that a prospect doesn’t buy simply on the basis of price or
value. Everyone buys on emotion — so you’d better make an emotional
appeal in your P.S.…

Putting Passion Into Your P.S.…

If you want to build a P.S. that really reaches your prospect, you must create
it with passion. You must return to the original promise that brought your
prospect into the copy and stir the emotions that dwell within her…

Part 3 3-203
 For example, if you promised your
prospect that she’s going to become
transformed into a young woman with
glowing, soft skin, you would want to
keep that promise in the P.S. You’d want
to remind her of all the good things
that are going to happen to her.
You wouldn’t want to stick the
moisturizing cream in her face and tell
her that she can get a three-month
supply for the super low price of $59.95.
Your P.S. should be an extension of the ever-flowing emotional thread
that moves through your copy. It should give the prospect a reason to get
excited all over again for your product or service.
Here’s an excellent example from the United States Historical Society letter
in your AWAI “Hall of Fame” collection. Notice how this unique P.S., like
the entire letter, appeals to the common desire to be part of something
greater than yourself. Throughout, it appeals to the prospect’s emotions
by “speaking from the heart”…

P.S. In years to come, this treasured work of art will be a

reminder — perhaps to generations yet unborn — of America’s
finest hour.

Got it? Good. Now, let’s see how you can create a passionate P.S.…

5 Ways to Create a Powerful, Passionate P.S.

The easiest way to evoke emotion is to remind your

Restate Benefits
prospect of all the wonderful things your product
or service will deliver. I’m talking about restating
benefits…

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 P.S. If you take pride in work well done, want to give
your family the better things in life… then you need
POPULAR MECHANICS how-to-do-it information on AIR
CONDITIONERS… BARBECUES… BOATS… BIRDHOUSES…
BOOKCASES… BURGLAR ALARMS… CAULKING…
CAMERAS… CONCRETE… CLOCKS… DOORS… DRILL
PRESSES… ENGINES… FAUCETS… FENCES… GUNS…

Make another Hold back one (or two) strong benefits or promises
promise/introduce from your letter and introduce them here. This will
a surprise benefit throw any prospect over the edge…

P.S. Don’t miss Dr. Hrachovec’s supplementary chapter, “How

to Survive a Heart Attack.”
As you probably know, coronary heart disease needn’t be
the killer it is. Simply by following the book’s advice, you not
only reduce your chance of heart attack; you also reduce your
chance of dying from a heart attack you might get by 90%!
But, in case you should suffer a heart attack before this
program has had its full beneficial effect, it would be good to
know how to recognize the symptoms (including those tricky
“silent” attacks). And you should also learn the two critical
things you must do in the first 15 minutes to ensure survival.

Provide more Give your reader an extra dose of credibility… an

credibility ironclad reason to believe that you and/or your
product or service are the real thing:

P.P.S. I’ve talked at length about the remarkable people The

Oxford Club is privileged to count as members. Here are
some comments from them:

Part 3 3-205
 “I joined the Club in 1991 and I’ve made a lot of money lot
of money from your recommendations over the years. The
two I’ve most benefited from were Caledonia Mining and
Hopewell Holdings. I made over 1,000% with Caledonia and
a little more than $17,000 profit with Hopewell. I also saved a
fortune with your sell recommendations on Japanese stock a
few years back.
Furthermore, I was never a successful currency investor until
I joined The Oxford Club. I haven’t had a negative return
since.”
Cliff M., Redding, California

Motivate your prospect to take action. This is very

Communicate important, as most people are procrastinators. So
urgency the P.S. gives you an opportunity to remove any
foot-dragging on the part of your prospect by
reinforcing how important it is to act right away.

P.S. We’ve ordered enough FREE CREELS — we think — to

meet the anticipated response. But they are likely to go fast,
so why risk waiting months while we re-order? Since your
creel will be shipped as soon as you pay for your subscription,
why not get it immediately by enclosing payment now?

Remember what we said about the guarantee? You

Restate/expand can never mention it too many times. If you want to
your guarantee remind your prospect that she has, in fact, nothing
to lose — if you want to spell out your terms further
— you can do it right here:

P.S. INTERNATIONAL LIVING will show you how to live the

sort of life that used to be available only to the very wealthy.
Try it yourself. If you’re not completely satisfied, simply
cancel your subscription. We’ll promptly reimburse you for all

3-206 Part 3
 the issues remaining in your subscription, no questions
asked. And no matter what, all of the free INTERNATIONAL
LIVING reports are yours to keep.

Have You Got the General Idea?

Are You Ready to Try Some on Your Own?
P.S. Oops, almost forgot. Here’s one more powerful
Introduce a new type of P.S.:
premium/bonus You can use it to introduce a new premium or bonus.
For instance:

P.S. The Oxford Club not only wants to make absolutely sure
you have every opportunity to begin earning mouth-watering
profits right away — we want to ensure your money is safe,
too. That’s why if you join within 10 days of receiving this
invitation I’ll make sure you get Insider Secrets to the Stock
Market Revealed — your guide to how brokerage firms really
work. Just some of the valuable information you’ll discover in
this information-crammed report includes…

Did you notice how that worked? You thought we were done giving you
information about the P.S. And now, you’re pleasantly surprised to find
another very useful angle. Done right, the P.S. can’t help but please and
surprise.
When working on your sample letter, don’t forget that your guarantee
must assure your prospect she has nothing to lose by ordering your
product. And, your P.S. will be read by 80 percent of your prospects, so
focus on making an emotional appeal.

Part 3 3-207
The Floor… The Foundation of Your Sale
By Mark Morgan Ford

H ere it is… the final structure in the “Architecture

of Persuasion.” The order device… the floor of
your house. The foundation upon which your entire
sale rests. In direct mail, it’s usually a separate (or
detachable) order form. On the web, it’s the order
landing page.
Do a good job here, and you’ll win a customer. Do a poor job, and your
bedroom will come crashing down… along with your relationship. You’ll
lose the sale… despite all the hard work you’ve done throughout your sales
letter.
That’s how critical the order device is. Yet surprisingly, many copywriters
treat it as an afterthought — considering it to be a place where the “selling”
stops and the “business” begins.
Big mistake.
Why? Because if you do that, it’s a lost opportunity. Studies have shown
that, in direct mail, once your prospect has opened the envelope, she reads
the order device before she reads anything else. (Just so you know, she
typically reads the order device first, then the P.S., then she looks at the
letter itself.) She does this because she wants to get a sense of what the
product or service is — if it’s something useful to her — before she invests
any more of her time.

Seal the Deal With a Strong Order Device

— Will Newman
Some master copywriters start a package by writing the order
device first. Why? Because a successful order device restates the core
promise(s) and benefits of your product in a concise, easy-to-understand
manner. And that’s a great starting place for writing your entire sales
promotion.

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This is less likely to happen with online sales letters and emails, but
sometimes the reader will jump to the order page to see the price and
then go back to the main sales letter page if she’s still interested.
This is why it’s so very important that you treat the order device as another
way to get your prospect into the copy…
How do you do that? You hit her with some of the most compelling
elements of your sales letter…

The Big What your product or service will do for her.

Promise

The How your product or service will make her healthier,

Benefits wealthier, wiser, or more desirable.

The What she’ll get for her hard-earned money.

Offer

The Why she has absolutely nothing to lose by giving your

Guarantee product or service a shot.

Right now, you’re probably thinking: “If I tried to cram all that on an order
form, it would be half the size of the letter!”
Oh, ye of little faith.
I’m about to show you how you can sum up all those things very effectively
on your order device — in just a few lines.

Part 3 3-209
 Writing Order Devices
— Don Mahoney
When you’re working on a package, start on the order device
right away. Look for a similar package with a strong order device. Then
copy the order device and use it as a template for your package.
The order device can make or break your sale. So go over it at the end like
you’re seeing it for the first time. Make sure all of the elements are there
and that you’ve made it easy for your prospect to say “yes!”

The Specific Elements of a

Well-Constructed Order Device
It all starts with an urgent, promise-oriented statement. Let’s go back to
our old peanut diet example. The big promise? Weight loss. So, you might
resell the big promise by putting something like this, big and bold, at the
top of your order form:

Order Today and Be Thinner in a Week!

As trite as it may seem, it’s important to ask your prospect to respond

immediately. Otherwise, there is no implied urgency, and there’s a chance
she’ll set aside your promotion and forget about it. “Order Today” gets
that message of urgency across loud and clear. And “Be Thinner in a Week”
illustrates the main benefit.
Next, you need an acceptance acknowledgment (with major benefits
included). This is where you ask your prospect to commit to your offer. You
want to reinforce her buying decision by painting a picture and restating
major benefits. So you may write something like this:

___ Yes! I can’t wait to show off my new fat-free body at the
beach, wear hip, trendy clothes again, and feel healthier than
I’ve felt in years! Please rush me your Amazing Peanut Diet
so I can start shedding pounds — simply by eating all the
delicious, tasty peanuts I want!

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Voila! You’ve created a compelling image and emphasized your benefits.
And you did it in two sentences.
Now it’s time to bring in the premium (or bonus) summary. For example,
you may have offered a free bonus report as a premium to anyone who
ordered the peanut diet within five days. So, your next line on the order
device might look something like this:

___ Yes, I’m ordering within 5 days! Don’t forget to include

the FREE BONUS you promised me: “Shaking Off the Pounds:
Your Guide to Permanent Weight Loss,” where I’ll learn how
to lose an extra six pounds a week — with virtually no effort!

This accomplishes two things: 1) it reinforces a sense of urgency — a call to

action. And 2) it restates the promise and benefit of the premium.
Now the selling is done. Well, almost…
You’ve revisited your prospect’s emotional hot buttons with what the
product and the premium will do for him. Now it’s time to target his
rational decision to buy. How? You remember… by reintroducing your
guarantee. But this time, with a little twist. See if you can spot it:

Your 100% Satisfaction, No-Risk Guarantee

Remember, if you don’t begin losing weight immediately
with the Amazing Peanut Diet, simply return it to us in good
condition. We’ll refund every dime you paid us — and you can
keep your free bonus as our gift to you… just for giving our
diet a try! So you see… there’s absolutely no risk to you!

Do you see what we’ve done? We’ve strengthened the guarantee by

offering the prospect the opportunity to keep the free bonus — even if
she returns the diet for a full refund.
This does two things. First, it exceeds her expectations about the guarantee.
Secondly, it makes her think this must be a pretty great diet if we’re willing
to spend money to get her to try it.

Part 3 3-211
Here’s another tip about the guarantee… On a direct-mail order form, it’s
always a good idea to have the guarantee positioned in such a way that
the prospect can easily tear it off and keep it. This gives her peace of mind
because she has “proof” of the guarantee.
Now, at this point, it’s safe to say that most of the “selling” is really done,
and the “business” part of the order device begins. But it’s important to
keep this in mind as you complete your order device copy: You want to
make it as easy as possible for your prospect to respond.
As a writer, it’s tough to make people cry. Tougher to make people laugh.
But the toughest thing of all is to get people to give you money.
You’ve just written a dynamite sales letter or email that can do it. So, don’t
risk blowing it by having an order form or web order page that’s difficult or
confusing to fill out.
You need to make sure the entire order device is clean, uncluttered, and
easy to follow so that your prospect doesn’t abandon the sale out of
frustration.
Admittedly, the graphic designer has a lot to do with how the order form
or web order page will be laid out. But it is up to you to ensure that all the
necessary “business” elements are included:
Purchase Options
Make a clear distinction between the regular price and the special offer
price — and be sure to show how much your prospect is saving.
For example, if the peanut diet normally sells for $49.95, but you’re offering
it today for $24.95 — be sure to tell your prospect she’s saving 50%.
Also, if you’re giving her a break for buying two (“one for you, one for a
friend”) show her how much of a break she’s getting.
Payment Options
Include all the types of payment that your client accepts: Checks, credit

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cards, money orders. If he accepts credit cards, make sure there’s enough
room to include a card number and expiration date. If the space is too
small, that’s enough to make your prospect not bother with it.
Buyer’s Information
Be sure you leave enough space for your prospect to include her name,
address, phone number, and email address. Explain that you need her
phone number and email address in case you have any questions about her
order. (You don’t want her to think that you’ll be making sales calls to her or
— worse yet — selling her personal information to a slew of telemarketers.)
Seller’s Information
Most direct-mail packages (except inserts) include a self-addressed,
postage-paid envelope for the prospect to return her order by mail. Even
so, it’s absolutely crucial that you put the seller’s address on every element
in your sales package. That way, if the envelope or individual pieces get
lost, your prospect can still mail in her order using her own envelope.
It’s also important to include the seller’s website order page (for ordering
online) and the seller’s phone number (for phone orders). And if your client
still offers an option for placing an order by fax, be sure to include the fax
number as well. These should be prominently featured in a box on the
order form. This gives your prospect alternative ways to order your product
more easily.

Now Let’s See What a Good Order Device Looks Like

When All the Elements Are Put Together…
This first powerful example (on the following page) is the order device
from the Instant Improvement package (Letter #14 in your AWAI “Hall of
Fame” collection). It has many of the elements we’ve talked about… the
big promise is restated… the guarantee is clear and direct… valuable
premiums are offered… it’s loaded with benefits… and it’s simple to use.
Take a good look at it — read it two or three times if you have to — before
checking out our next example.

Part 3 3-213
This next example for you to study is from the Bottom Line Personal
promotion (Letter #6 in your AWAI “Hall of Fame” collection). It’s very
straightforward and even easier to use than the Instant Improvement
order device. It does the job. And it does it well. By asking the prospect to
simply place a “yes” or “no” sticker onto the form and providing a pre-paid
business reply envelope, ordering couldn’t be simpler.

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Finally, on the next page, is one from the web. This type of online order
form is very common today, even for direct marketers using mail, television,
radio, print advertising, and other “offline” advertising methods.
Keep in mind there’s no cut-and-dried formula for the perfect order device.
You may even develop a new standard at some point in your career.
But for now, try to stick closely to the tried-and-true formulas that have
been working for years.

Part 3 3-215
3-216 Part 3
 Order Device Checklist
Did you…
üüResell the big promise?
üüObtain an acceptance acknowledgment from your prospect?
üüInclude urgency?
üüSummarize the premium (or bonus)?
üüReintroduce the guarantee?
üüClearly outline the offer?
üüInclude all types of payment?
üüAsk for all necessary buyer information?
üüProvide all necessary seller information?

One Final Word…

Remember, your order device shows your prospect what kind of
relationship she can expect from you now… and in the future. If your order
form or web order page is poorly written or contains typos, she’ll assume
that she’s not very important to you. If you talk in hyperboles and scream
and shout about your product, she won’t take you seriously and will think
you have little to say. And you also want to make sure the tone is consistent
with the tone used in the rest of your letter or email.
So, before you write, take a moment to think about the kind of relationship
you want to foster with your prospect. About the way you want your
prospect to perceive you.
If you want a healthy, long-lasting relationship, you must treat your
prospect with respect and care.
Don’t cheat her, don’t talk down to her, and don’t expect her to believe all
the hype…
Be open. Be honest. Spend your time with her. Show her you care… and
you’ll have a relationship that lasts a lifetime.

Part 3 3-217
 How to Write Better Copy by Being Honest
— John Forde and Mark Morgan Ford
The unflinching principle of all successful advertising… of all
marketing… of all business… of all relationships… is one of the oldest
success secrets in the world: “Do unto others as you would have them
do unto you.” Good ad copy will always emphasize the strong points,
but great advertising campaigns must be fundamentally honest, plain,
and true.

The Envelope “Teaser”: Enticing Your

Prospect to Read Inside
By Mark Morgan Ford

Y ou already know how critically important your headline is to the

success of your sales letter. If it’s bold and engaging, it will usher your
prospect into the copy. If it’s trite or predictable, you’ll lose your prospect
right from the start. He’ll put down your sales letter and pursue something
more interesting.
Well, the same holds true for your envelope copy (or “teaser copy,” as
we like to say in direct marketing, because it “teases” the prospect into
wanting to read on).
If your teaser doesn’t reach the reader in a meaningful way, he’ll never
even open the envelope. Never. He’ll toss it in the trash without a second
thought.
Why? Because your average prospect is
“I get mail; therefore I am.” being inundated with mail. Hundreds of
— Scott Adams, creator millions of pieces of mail are delivered
of Dilbert comic strip every day to more than 141 million
homes and businesses in the United

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 States — and over 55% of it is advertising. Or, put in a slightly different
context… the average household receives about 41 lbs. of advertising mail
per year.
So, when your prospect gets to
his mailbox, he becomes very Total direct-marketing expenditures
selective. He gives each piece
in the U.S. are projected to grow to
of mail about three seconds.
$196 billion by 2016.
That’s it. Three seconds. And
Source: DMA Statistical Fact Book 2013
if you don’t dazzle him in your
allotted time…
Well, great teasers change all that. They differentiate your letter from all
the other “junk” mail he sees. They break down his defenses and pique his
interest long enough for him to take a second look. And they get him ready
for the sale before he even reads your letter.

Great Teasers:
Putting Your Prospect “in the Mood”…
As you know, the main purpose of a teaser is to get your envelope opened.
Plain and simple. But, contrary to popular belief, that’s not its only purpose.
In fact, a teaser must do more than that.
Let me explain…
It has been proven time and time again that an envelope without a teaser
(i.e., a blank envelope) will usually get opened.
Why? Because the average prospect
will open it out of sheer curiosity. He
“Curiosity is one of the great
has no idea what it’s about or who it’s
secrets of happiness.” from. It could be about some exciting
— Bryant H. McGill and profitable opportunity. It may
even appear to be a personal letter.
So, he takes his chances and opens it. But, as soon as he gets inside, he
realizes he’s reading a sales letter. His initial excitement starts to dissipate.

Part 3 3-219
Now, let’s change the scenario a bit.
Instead of finding a blank envelope in his mailbox, our “average” prospect
finds an envelope with a great direct-response teaser on it. It says…

Bull Financial
123 Market Highway
Buffalo, MN 55313

INSIDE: The Coming Bull Market Blow-Up!

 Shocking new information reveals why a financial
crisis is virtually assured this year.

 PLUS: The one stock that could still multiply your

money 20 times over no matter what happens!

Now, that’s better. He’s filled with feelings of curiosity and fear and a strong
desire to make money. He desperately wants to know how he can profit
from this coming disaster.
These feelings and desires not only provoke him to open the envelope,
they actually prepare him for the sales letter he’s about to read.
That’s why envelopes with great teasers consistently beat out blank envelopes.
Not only do great teasers get the envelope opened, they fill your prospect
with the specific selling emotions that you call upon in your sales letter.
They put him in the right “mood.”

How Do I Evoke the Core Selling Emotions?

That’s a good question. There are many ways. But for the purposes of
this section, we’ll focus on four main techniques. (As you’ll recall from
the “Architecture of Persuasion,” these techniques apply to teasers as
well as to headlines.)
Your teaser can…

3-220 Part 3
 1. Make a promise
2. Draw a picture
3. State a fact
4. Ask a question
Let’s briefly look at one.
What kind of a promise could you make to your prospect? You could promise
him that he’ll lose 20 pounds in one month… without ever having to set
foot in a gym. Or that he’ll make $576.50 extra each month just by filling out
a special form every week.
Notice how both of these promises offer the prospect a specific type of
benefit in the immediate future. And how each one urges him to action.
(You’ll find out why in just a bit.)

What Kind of Envelope Works Best?

— Mark Morgan Ford
As you can imagine, a lot of time has been spent by direct-
marketing pros analyzing this question.
There’s the “live” stamped envelope versus meter-marked… the window
envelope versus no window… the 9” x 12” envelope versus the standard
size (and everything in between).
Most of the time, the person you’ll be writing for — usually the marketing
manager — will know which of these formats will work best for a
particular promotion. When it comes to the envelope, your main concern
as a copywriter is what to say on the outside.
My practical recommendation to my clients is always this: Create the
strongest envelope you can. It should state — in the most intriguing
possible way — the essential and dominant promise of the copy. Do
everything you can — with copy and graphics — to make opening the
letter irresistible. Then put it in the mail.
If it works, back-test a plain, first-class-looking envelope on your rollout.
Sometimes, that will work better. When it does, continue to test an
advertising-oriented envelope against it.

Part 3 3-221
Just remember, anytime you make a promise to your prospect, you must
be sure that you can deliver it. If you make a bold promise on the envelope
— and don’t deliver the goods inside — your prospect will feel like he’s
been tricked. And not only will he be upset with you, but he’ll pay you back
by tossing your letter in the trash.
Or, instead of making a promise, what picture
could you draw for your reader? You could
show him as an attractive, fit man who catches
the eyes of beautiful women. That’s appealing
to his confidence and vanity.
Or you could show him as a successful
businessman who’s constantly negotiating
deals and getting himself a cut of the action.
That’s appealing to his pride… the desire for
money… and even the desire for security.
How about facts? What facts would draw your prospect into the package?
You could tell him that one out of every four men will be diagnosed with
cancer next year — and that he can find out NOW if he’s at risk. That’s
appealing to his fear… curiosity… surprise… and maybe even anger.
Or you may tell him that the government gives away over $100 billion
every year to small business owners. Inside, he can find out if he qualifies
for some of that money. That’s appealing to his curiosity… excitement…
and his desire for money.
See how this technique works? You don’t just present facts for the sake
of presenting facts. You do it to evoke the core selling emotions in your
prospect.
Lastly, you could ask your prospect a question. For example, how does he
feel about human cloning? (Curiosity… disgust… fear.)
Again, these specific types of questions rouse feelings within your prospect
and urge him to read on.

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 Great teasers actually follow the same powerful, yet deceptively simple,
formula, for great headlines. Do you remember what it’s called?
You guessed it…

It’s the Secret of the Four U’s© Again!

This formula is like a power-packed copy vitamin. It instantly strengthens
and fortifies weak or sagging teasers, headlines, subheads, bullets, and
even body copy.
Let’s take a quick look at the Four U’s© to refresh our memory…
rgency — Your teaser should give the prospect a reason to desire
the benefit sooner rather than later. You can use words like… “right
now,” “limited time,” and “new.” The trick is to make your prospect
think he’s going to lose out on an opportunity if he doesn’t act NOW!
sefulness — Your teaser should communicate something of value to
the prospect. Remember, your prospect cares mostly about himself.
If you want to hook him, you need to concentrate on benefits.
niqueness — Your teaser should suggest that what it’s offering is in
some way different from everything else of its type. All claims should be
uniquely associated with your specific product or service.
ltra-Specificity — Vagueness should be avoided at all costs. The
prospect must know what specific benefits are in store for him. As in
our earlier example, instead of saying, “Make extra cash,” you’d want
to say something like, “Make $576.50 extra each month.”
When you put the Four U’s©
“The most interesting thing about together, you instantly hook
a postage stamp is the persistence your prospect’s interest, entice
with which it sticks to its job.” him with a benefit, establish
— Napoleon Hill credibility, and urge him to
read on.
You can use the Four U’s© for any of the four main teaser techniques we

Part 3 3-223
discussed before… making promises, drawing pictures, stating facts, or
asking questions. It can be applied to any of these.
So, anytime you write a teaser, you should check it against the Four U’s©. If
it meets at least three U’s, you’re in good shape. If not, you need to go back
to the drawing board.
Are you ready to write your own teaser? I thought so. Let’s go…

A Copywriting Tip That Can Skyrocket Response

— Don Hauptman, Master Copywriter
Give a headline, envelope teaser, or email subject line a
creative twist that makes it sound new and surprising.
One of the biggest challenges a copywriter faces is to devise a headline
or envelope teaser that communicates the sales message in a different,
exciting, attention-grabbing way. To launch Tax Angles, a consumer tax
advisory newsletter, I came up with an envelope teaser that quickly
became the control: “Counting on your tax advisor to help you cut your
taxes? You’re making the most expensive mistake of your life!”
Then my client, the publisher, wrote one that was more concise but
equally successful: “You don’t have to cheat to cut your taxes.” Ingenious!
It encapsulated the publication’s major benefit, but with an unexpected
twist. It’s especially clever because of what it implies without stating
outright.
Decades ago, a magazine ad was headlined: “How to pick the best color
portable [TV] from Sears or anyone else.” Note how those last three
words give the ad real credibility.
I’ve long been convinced that my most successful headline, “Speak
Spanish Like a Diplomat,” would not have generated tens of millions of
dollars in sales if it had read “Speak Spanish Like a Native.”
Finally, sometimes you can tweak a cliché or familiar phrase so that it
becomes fresh and startling. One example: “Get Rich Slowly.”
These are just a few illustrations of how an ordinary idea can be
expressed in an extraordinary way.

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 Let’s Create a Teaser…
Let’s say you’re selling our infamous peanut diet book. What kind of a
teaser would you write? Would you say…

Peanut Publishing
86 Main Street
Denver, CO 80202

?
t To L o s e Weight
Wan
ide …
Look Ins

No. That’s not the ticket. Sure, you might get a few people who are so
desperate to lose weight that they’ll look at anything. But this copy does
nothing to pique the average prospect’s interest. It asks a question, but it’s
not a terribly engaging question. Plus, it only meets one of the Four U’s©:
usefulness. It’s not unique, urgent, or ultra-specific.
Not to worry. We’ll just give it another shot.
First, we need to revisit the big promise of our peanut diet. As you’ll recall,
it’s “lose weight by eating peanuts.” Then we need to consider all its
wonderful benefits: “No starve yourself diets… no rabbit food.” Now, let’s
think about our unique selling proposition: “Someone’s figured out a way
for you to shed weight by eating tons of peanuts.”
Now we need to take all that information… and ask ourselves that all-
important question…
What would make me want to read more?
So you begin writing. And here’s what you come up with…

Part 3 3-225
 Peanut Publishing
86 Main Street
Denver, CO 80202

L o v e P eanuts?
ht?
Overweig …
ils inside
See deta

Not bad. But not great either. The question is more intriguing. The prospect
has no idea what peanuts have to do with his weight problem… and this
stirs his curiosity. How about the Four U’s©? It’s still useful. It’s somewhat
unique. But it’s still vague and not very urgent.
Let’s try another one…

Peanut Publishing
86 Main Street
Denver, CO 80202

k
8 p o u n ds a wee
s e …
You can lo ts. Details inside
anu
eating pe

This is definitely better. We’ve focused on the big promise. It’s useful,
unique, and ultra-specific. But it could be a bit more urgent.
Okay. Let’s give it one more shot. We’ll try to be as audacious as possible

3-226 Part 3
while still making it believable. This might seem like a tough task — and,
yes, there’s a fine line to walk here.
If you say something crazy, it won’t be believed. If you say something
ordinary, nobody will care. As a copywriter, one of your greatest challenges
is to convince your prospect — quickly — that you can make the
impossible happen.
How about this…

Peanut Publishing
86 Main Street
Denver, CO 80202

Doctors Uncover “Lost” Study:

INSIDE: A proven way for you to lose
8 pounds a week — EATING PEANUTS!

Now we’re getting somewhere. We made a convincing promise and stated

an intriguing fact. PLUS, we hit all Four U’s©.
Good job!
But, remember what we said about keeping promises. There had better be
a “lost study” — and you must be able to prove in your sales letter that the
diet works.
Now, we’re not saying that this “peanut diet” teaser is the best it could
possibly be. There will always be something better, stronger, and more
effective. And there’s no cut-and-dried formula for determining which
copy will work the best. That’s why, of all the testing done in direct mail,
most of it involves envelope copy.
But enough about our crazy peanut diet…

Part 3 3-227
 Let’s Look At Some Real
Examples of Envelope Copy…
Here’s a good one for Men’s Health books. It accompanies a picture of a
beautiful woman looking very seductive:

Men’s Health
733 Third Avenue
New York, NY 10017

INSIDE: 10 female flirting signals

that secretly say, “I want you!”

What man wouldn’t want to open up that envelope to find out what those
flirting signals are! But remember the rule. The whole thing could backfire
if those 10 secrets aren’t inside. (By the way, we opened the envelope and
couldn’t find them. It left us wondering whether the book would really
deliver the goods.)
What about this teaser? (And the envelope is signed by the doctor, himself.)…

Dr. Stanley Smith

123 Lincoln Avenue
New York, NY 10018

Now — Fast Relief from Your Arthritis

Pain and Stiffness — GUARANTEED!
And Here’s the FREE SAMPLE

ey Smith
You Asked Me to Send You …

Dr. S tanl

3-228 Part 3
 Now, the first part of this teaser isn’t great. It’s certainly useful and somewhat
urgent, but lacks uniqueness and ultra-specificity. It’s possible that it could
attract severe arthritis sufferers who are desperate for anything to relieve
their pain…
But the teaser needs something more. So the writer adds the second part
to virtually guarantee that the letter will be opened. By enclosing an actual
sample, he introduces urgency. By having the doctor’s signature on the
envelope, he adds a shot of uniqueness.
Now, you won’t always be
able to use this technique.
“All credibility, all good conscience, But when you can, it’s very
all evidence of truth come only from effective. Remember what
the senses.” — Friedrich Nietzsche we said about promises?
Well, this package keeps
its promise beautifully by
including a little “wet-nap” sample soaked in the product. That gives the
letter instant credibility.
However, if you say, “Here’s the FREE REPORT you asked me to send
you”… and inside all you deliver is just another sales letter disguised as
a report… it’s not going to work. You’ve deceived your prospect. Lost
credibility. You must give him a sales letter that not only looks like a report
and feels like a report, but also contains useful information like a report.
Many copywriters give a one-line teaser, followed by “Here’s the FREE
INFORMATION you requested.” This is a technique known to work. But
here’s the problem. If enough letters use it, and then don’t deliver what’s
promised — or if it’s simply overused — it loses its effectiveness.
That’s why it’s important to keep your eye on the mail. Pay attention to
“teaser” techniques that are being overused. In time, you’ll get a feel for
what’ll work and what won’t.
Nothing Beats a Solid, Well-Written Teaser
— It’s a Real Art Form — One We Hope You’ll
Practice Long and Hard

Part 3 3-229
Before we get you started on your envelope copy, let’s take a look at some
more teasers…
For a financial newsletter…

YYZ Financial
326 Courtland Road
Atlanata, GA 30322

How to MAKE MONEY if the stock

market goes up … and MAKE A LOT
OF MONEY if it goes down!

Conventional wisdom tells you that you win if the stock market goes up —
and lose if it goes down. But this teaser introduces a new idea — a win-win
scenario for the prospect. Now, that’s something most investors would be
interested in finding out about.
It piques the prospect’s curiosity by surprising him and rouses his desire to
make money. Again, this promise is unique, urgent, and useful. It could be
more specific. But overall, it’s very good and gets 3 points on the Four U’s©
test. This next one is written in plain typewriter print…

555 50th AVE, SE

New York, NY 10018

Astute business owners pay $3,000.00 an hour (with

a 2-hour minimum) to learn these secrets self-made
millionaires practice.
Now they’re yours FREE, INSIDE …

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What do you think about this one? It’s certainly useful. Who wouldn’t want
to learn the secrets that people pay $3,000 for? Plus, its uniqueness piques
the prospect’s curiosity. The average prospect wonders how this writer is
able to give these secrets away for free. It’s also ultra-specific and relatively
urgent. We’d give it 3 1/2 points.
This one comes from Poets & Writers…

Poets & Writers Magazine

PRESORT
P.O. Box 422460 STANDARD
Palm Coast, FL 32142 U.S. POSTAGE
PAID
POET & WRITERS

Wondering how to get your work published?

Find a literary agent?
Get a grant?
Join a workshop?

One in four of our subscribers has found publication

through POETS & WRITERS MAGAZINE.

Now it’s your turn!

INSIDE: A FREE file card listing 14 vital contacts you

need for your writing career.

Pretty good, isn’t it? It asks questions that are meaningful to aspiring
writers. It plays on their curiosity… their optimism… and their desire for
achievement. Plus, it gives away a valuable freebie. (We were pleased to
find the file card in the package as promised.)

Part 3 3-231
It’s ultra-specific. Urgent. Definitely useful. And somewhat unique (in the
fact that one in four writers have found publication through the magazine).
Overall, it’s quite strong and gets 3 1/2 points.
Here’s one more. The last one…

Texas OilCo PRESORT

P.O. Box 947 STANDARD
Houston, TX 77058 U.S. POSTAGE
PAID
TEXAS OILCO

More oil than Chevron, Mobil, BP and Texaco combined …

Yet this company is virtually unknown …
It pumps more oil every day than the fabled oil rich sheikdoms
of Dubai, Bahrain, Yemen and Qatar combined. It has more land
than Denmark, Holland and Switzerland put together.
But its shares are so cheap, you’re paying prices from a century
ago for its oil reserves.

This example proves that you can have a substantial amount of copy on
your envelope — so long as it helps achieve your goal. This copy does that
because every line effectively advances the prospect’s curiosity.
First, he’s impressed by the sheer size of the company (and he wonders
what it could be and why he hasn’t heard of it).
Then, the last line appeals hard and fast to his desire for money by
suggesting this is a once-in-a-lifetime profit-making opportunity.
As you may have guessed, this teaser is our big winner with 4 points in all!
There you have it. The basics on writing great envelope copy.

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 6 Ways to Make Your Teasers Stronger
— Katie Yeakle

1. Review the prospect’s core complex.

2. Study past examples.
3. Write many of them.
4. Say them out loud.
5. Subject them to the Four U’s©.
6. Test them with a peer review.

Your Next Exercise:

Exercise #18

It’s time to write teaser copy for your sample envelope if you’re working on
a print sample. For a web copy sample, the teaser copy can be the subject
line of the email. This won’t be submitted for review, but will be part of a
complete package for your portfolio.
Remember what you’re trying to achieve. Not only are you trying to get
your envelope or email opened, you’re trying to fill your prospect with the
core selling emotions you’ve evoked in your sales letter.
Now, please go online to access Exercise #18…

Testimonials & Endorsements: Boosting

Your Credibility
By Mark Morgan Ford

W e’ve touched upon testimonials several times in this program. As

you already know, testimonials are words of praise from satisfied
customers.

Part 3 3-233
 When inserted in a sales letter or used
as a separate “gate,” testimonials help
“A satisfied customer is the
rationalize your prospect’s buying
best business strategy of all.” decision. They back up your claims
— Michael LeBoeuf and vouch for the benefits of your
product or service.
But those are just the basics. In this section we’re going to go full throttle
into testimonials.
By the time you’re finished with this section, you’ll know…
llHow to create rock-solid testimonials for different products and
services.
llThe Four Golden Rules of Testimonials.
llHow to indirectly “ask” for testimonials… and the one thing you must
avoid when writing them.
Before we get there, let me start off by telling you a little story…

The Secret Power of Testimonials

Not too long ago, Paul Hollingshead was in a store looking at a deep
massage recliner. If you’ve ever tried one of these chairs, you know how
great they are. How relaxed they make you feel.
The only problem is, they’re $3,000.
That’s a lot to pay for a chair, no matter how you look at it.
Nevertheless, Paul sat in one for a good 20 minutes. He
pictured himself relaxing in one at home after a tough
workout. Or after working in the yard. He felt the
relief the powerful rollers brought when they
kneaded up and down his back.
But $3,000? How long would he use it?
Would he get tired of it?

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 The salesman tried to overcome Paul’s reservations. He told him that he
had one and used it every night. Never got tired of it. That made Paul feel
better. But still, he wasn’t sure.
A few minutes later, two
“It’s a mistake for the copywriter to guys came into the store and
walked over to the chair. One
get too caught up in his own display
guy said to the other, “I got
of writing brilliance, when the person one of these a year ago and
reading the copy will be much better I don’t know how I got by
persuaded by what real people just without it. I put it in my office
like him have to say.” and whenever I’m feeling
— Dan Kennedy stressed, I sit in it for 10
minutes. It’s like a vacation!”
That’s all Paul needed. Suddenly, the big price was justified. And he bought
the chair. (He loves it!)
That’s the power of a testimonial. It’s a glowing review for your product or
service from an unbiased source. An indisputable stamp of approval.
Endorsements — on the other hand — are a bit different.

What’s the Difference Between a

Testimonial and an Endorsement?
I’m glad you asked. It’s very simple, really. A testimonial comes from a
satisfied customer who’s used the product or service. An endorsement
comes from an expert, professional, or celebrity who’s tied to the product
or service.
For example, the guy who came along and talked glowingly about the
massage chair gave a “testimonial” for the product. He had one… used it…
and loved it.
In other words, he was an unbiased source of information. He had no
vested interest in the sale of the chair. He was merely expressing his
feelings.

Part 3 3-235
 An “endorsement” would likely come from a doctor or a chiropractor
saying that the chair is good for the back because it stimulates blood flow
to certain muscles.
Generally speaking, endorsements are paid for. Now, we’re not saying that
the occasional doctor who truly believes in your product won’t lend his
name to it out of the goodness of his heart…
But, more than likely, he’ll want something for it.
Celebrities are some of the most pricey endorsers around. It’s not unusual
for a top celebrity to ask for hundreds of thousands of dollars — or even
several million dollars — to stand behind a product or service.
As a direct-marketing copywriter, you won’t have to worry about this. In
most cases, your client will provide you with any and all testimonials and
endorsements he has for the product. But… what if he doesn’t have any?

The Subtle Art of “Asking” for Testimonials

Normally, if a product or service is established — if it’s had some success in
the market — you’ll get a bunch of testimonials and endorsements from
your client.
But what if your customer’s product or service is brand-new… or if nobody
bothered to collect any testimonials?
Well, you can’t “make
“Just by supplementing your sales package up” testimonials or
endorsements. (This
with ‘social proof,’ you can do more selling
is the one thing you
in a single paragraph than you’d otherwise must never do!) Not
accomplish in a full page.” — John Forde only is it unethical,
it’s illegal.
So what do you do? You take the initiative and get them for your client.
One way to do this is to call up your client and ask him for the names of
satisfied customers who may be willing to supply testimonials.

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Now, contrary to what you might think, you can’t just call up these people
and ask for testimonials. Even if you got people who were willing to do
it, they would probably say something vague like, “The XYZ oven is really
great.”
That’s not what you’re looking for.
So you do something else. You create what I like to call a “customer feedback”
questionnaire. And then you give your client’s customers a call. (You can do
this by email, but the personal touch of a phone call goes a long way.)

Customer Feedback Questionnaire

1. Why did you purchase your (name of product or service)?

2. Please list the three things you like most about your (name of product or service)?
Why do you like them?

3. What, in your opinion, is the strongest feature of your (name of product or service)? Why?

4. How has your (name of product or service) saved you time, money, or frustration?

5. Is there anything about your (name of product or service) that you would like to see changed?

6. May we use your comments for promotional purposes?

Part 3 3-237
Let’s briefly go over this sheet. The first question sets up your phone
call as a genuine, customer-feedback call. Remember, we don’t want the
customer to know we’re digging for testimonials. We want him to give us
his real, honest-to-goodness reactions.
What about the second question? What exactly did he like about it… and
why? Note that we’re asking him to come up with three distinct features/
characteristics. This “forces” the customer to think more specifically about
our product or service.
Some customers won’t be able to come up with three specific features
right off the top of their heads. That’s fine. There will be others who’ll share
more. Write down every word they say!
Also notice how we phrase the question in such a way that already assumes
the customer enjoys our product or service. This increases our chances of
getting a positive response.
The next question, #3, is even more specific. It forces the prospect to
evaluate the benefits of our product or service. Plus, it asks him to explain
his feelings. (You’ll find out why in just a bit.)
Question #4 is one of my favorites. It leads the prospect right to the response
we’re looking for. In essence, it makes him tell us how our product or service
is fast, easy, and/or inexpensive. (Note how it encourages specificity.)
We ask question #5 for three reasons: 1) It shows the
customer that we really do care about his feedback;
2) It validates the “customer-feedback”
nature of the questionnaire; and 3) It
clues us in to any problems that we
can or cannot fix.
If the problem has to do with
packaging or positioning,
we can probably
remedy the situation.

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 If it has to do with some structural element of the product, there’s not
much we as copywriters can do.
Lastly, question #6 protects us from any legal repercussions. If we’re going
to use a customer’s direct quotation, we need to get his permission first.
(More than likely, he’ll say “yes.”)
But even if he verbally agrees over the phone, you still need to mail or
email him a copy of his quote and request a reply with his signed approval
to use it. This way, you’ll have the “agreement” in writing.
Occasionally, you’ll get a satisfied customer who simply says “no.” In that
case, simply thank him for his feedback and move on to other satisfied
customers.
Now, let’s say we just conducted this questionnaire. We’re selling a new
state-of-the-art convection oven… and this is what we came up with…

“I love my new XYZ oven. It’s fast, efficient, and convenient.

It’s certainly not cheap. But, my husband doesn’t seem
1 to mind. Last night, I cooked juicy filet mignons in just 5
minutes. Thanks, XYZ!”
— Phyllis Washington, Salt Lake City, UT

“I really liked the oven until my wife burnt her arm on it.
2 The scar is terrible.”
— Burt Brantley, Albany, NY

“The best thing about the new XYZ oven is its preprogrammed
features. It comes with 100 delicious recipes already in
3 memory. All I have to do is press one button, and I’m
making a soufflé! Unbelievable!”
— Lauren June, Dallas, TX

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 “The oven is so simple to use. You just turn the dial and go! Anyone
can operate it. Even an idiot — like my husband! Plus, I really like
4 the color of it.”
— Sally Souers, Miami, FL

What do you think of these? As you’ve probably noticed, some are stronger
than others. Some say too much… some are specific… and some say the
wrong things.
How do we polish them up? We use our patented, golden rules…

The Four Golden Rules of Testimonials

Be as SPECIFIC as possible. If the oven saved the customer 2.5
1 hours of cooking time each day, say so. Don’t say “around 3” or
“over 2.” Specificity sells in every aspect of direct marketing.
Stick with ONE BENEFIT per testimonial. A testimonial is more
2 powerful if you focus on one main benefit. Too many take away
from the impact and dilute the potency of what you’re saying.
Make sure the testimonial appears BELIEVABLE. When you edit
3 the testimonial, keep it in the same conversational tone that your
customer used. Don’t try to rewrite it in a formal manner. It’ll look
contrived and — therefore — unbelievable.
Also, use full names and addresses (and pictures if you can). A lot
of people don’t like to give their full names and addresses for fear
of being telephoned and harassed by your prospects. But this is
very powerful when they agree to do it — because it immediately
erases any suspicions from your prospect’s mind as to whether
these people actually exist.
Keep the testimonial TARGETED to your audience. Don’t
4 include anything that’s irrelevant or potentially offensive to your
target audience.

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Now, let’s apply these rules to our XYZ oven testimonials…

Polishing Up Your Testimonials

Okay, we can immediately eliminate Testimonial #2. It’s negative and will
actually hurt the sale.
What about Testimonial #1? It’s certainly specific. Believable. Focused. And
targeted. But, it does bring up a drawback of the oven. Its price. So, with
Phyllis’s permission, we can eliminate those two lines and keep the rest of
the testimonial.

“I love my new XYZ oven. It’s fast, efficient, and convenient. Last
night, I cooked juicy filet mignons in just 5 minutes. Thanks, XYZ!”
— Phyllis Washington, Salt Lake City, UT

Now, that’s better!

Let’s try Testimonial #3. This is a great testimonial. If you could get
testimonials like this everyday, you’d be very lucky. It’s believable, specific,
targeted to the audience, and focused on one benefit. We’ll leave it alone…

“The best thing about the new XYZ oven is its preprogrammed
features. It comes with 100 delicious recipes already in memory.
All I have to do is press one button, and I’m making a soufflé!
Unbelievable!”
— Lauren June, Dallas, TX

Lastly, Testimonial #4. It’s not as specific as the others, though it does
talk about the user-friendliness of the oven (benefit). Plus, it’s not entirely
focused. Sally talks about both the oven’s ease of use and its color. She
also makes a negative comment about her husband, which could offend a
portion of our audience.
So, we need to do a little editing work here. How about this…

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 “The oven is so simple to use. You just turn the dial and go!
Anyone can operate it.”
— Sally Souers, Miami, FL

Much better!
See how that works? That’s how easy it is to “create” supercharged
testimonials.
How to Separate the Testimonial Diamonds From the Rough
— Hallie Mummert, Editorial Director, Inside Direct Mail

llThe best testimonials back up your unique selling proposition.

llThe real “gems” are specific, not general.
llOne benefit per testimonial for maximum impact.
llTestimonials should describe results and help answer any objections
the prospect might have.
llLike fine crystal, real testimonials have a genuine ring to them.
llTestimonials that sound fake do more harm than good, even if they’re
true.
Well, now that we’ve got a bunch of great testimonials, we need to do
something with them…

There Are Several Ways to Inject

Testimonials Into Your Promotion
Since our testimonials are strong, we might decide to work them into our
sales letter as “stories” — as proof that our product does what we say it’ll
do. For example:

If you don’t think it’s possible to cook a main dish in five

minutes, just ask Phyllis Washington of Salt Lake City, Utah:
“I love my new XYZ oven. It’s fast, efficient, and convenient.
Last night, I cooked juicy filet mignons in just 5 minutes.
Thanks, XYZ!”

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 But Phyllis Washington is just one of thousands of people
who are making delicious, home-cooked meals in mere
minutes…
Lauren June of Dallas, Texas, never thought cooking could be
so easy…
“The best thing about the new XYZ oven is its preprogrammed
features. It comes with 100 delicious recipes already in memory.
All I have to do is press one button, and I’m making a soufflé!
Unbelievable!”

Remember, testimonials are used to rationalize your prospect’s emotional

buying decision. This is best done in the later stages of your sales letter
when you want to prove that your product has worked for real people.
If your letter doesn’t lend itself to a list of testimonial “stories” within
the copy flow, you have two other options. 1) You can pepper them
throughout your letter. (Usually in boxes at the top or bottom of the
pages.) Or 2) you can put them on a separate sheet as an individual “gate.”
Let’s look at some examples of these strategies. First, the “pepper” strategy
from The Oxford Club. Here the writer sprinkles testimonials on the right-
hand side of each page…

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As the prospect moves through the copy, he becomes more and more
impressed. Several Oxford Club members praise the Club, and each one
emphasizes a different benefit of membership.
As you’ll notice, the last names of members have been hidden. Normally,
we would tell you not to do this. But the reason it works here is because
the Oxford Club is a secret, elite organization — where privacy and
confidentiality is of the utmost importance.

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The magazine, Poets & Writers, takes the second approach. They include 20
testimonials on a separate blue piece of paper in the direct-mail package
— a separate “gate.” Let’s look at two of those testimonials…

Read what 20 top literary pros

have to say about Poets & Writers
“A year ago I replied to a call for manuscripts in your Classifieds. Seal
Press of Seattle was looking for writing by women about fishing. This
month (October 1991) Uncommon Waters: Women Write About Fishing,
edited by Holly Morris, was published as a handsome trade paperback,
and early reviews are quite good. I am thrilled to report that my essay …
appears within … If it sounds like I’m bragging, I am. It wouldn’t have
happened without POETS & WRITERS. Thank you!”
— KATHERINE WEBER,
Bethany, CT

“Your magazine has offered me a banquet of publication opportunities,

workshops and other valuable resource materials. One of my first poetry
submissions will be published in an anthology, thanks to your listings of
calls for manuscripts! I look forward to the continued diversity and quality
that I received from my subscription. Thank you!”
— ROBIN A. ALLBRIGHT,
Philadelphia, PA

By including 20 different testimonials on one page, the copywriter

astounds the prospect. He’s immediately impressed with the publication…
and this moves him one step closer to making the purchase.
Notice how these testimonials follow the Four Golden Rules that we set
forth earlier. They’re focused on one benefit, targeted to the audience
(every writer is desperately trying to get published), believable (full names
and locations have been provided), and relatively specific.
My only objection is that the first testimonial is very dated. That makes me
think that this copywriter has not attempted to get fresh, new testimonials.
(If he had read this section, he would’ve known just how to do it!)

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Ideally, you should have testimonials and endorsements in your sales letter
as well as on a “stand-alone” gate.
This can’t help but give your prospect the feeling that people love the product
or service you’re selling — and that he can’t go wrong by joining them.

How Many Testimonials?

As a general rule, it’s better to have a few really good testimonials than a
lot of so-so ones.
However, if you’re selling a product that seems too good to be true and/
or if you make very strong promises, you’ll want to include as many
testimonials as possible. I’d recommend one or two pages of testimonials
in your sales letter as well as a separate testimonial gate. The sheer volume
of testimonials will dispel your prospect’s initial skepticism and get him
revved up about your product or service.
A word of caution: Try to have no more that three or four testimonials for
each benefit your product or service offers. Not everyone makes a buying
decision for the same reasons. By including a few testimonials for each
benefit, you’re bound to hit more of each prospect’s “hot buttons.”

Lift Notes: The Voice of Authority

By Mark Morgan Ford

Y ou’ve already mastered one of the most powerful elements of your

promotion… the envelope. Now, it’s time to turn to our very first
“gate.” The lift note.
Lift notes — also known as lift letters — are so named because tests have
shown that including one in your promotion can “lift” response by as much
as 50%.
That means sales letters that earned a 1% response without a lift note have

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been known to get a 1.5% response with a lift note. Send a million letters,
and that could mean the difference between 10,000 responses and 15,000
responses.
That’s a significant number. Especially for the copywriter. It could mean the
difference between a winning promotion and a mediocre one. Between a
nice fat royalty check and a skimpy, paltry one.
In just a minute, we’ll show you how you can turn lift notes into copywriter’s
gold. But first, let’s take a quick look at this very important consideration…

So What Exactly Is A Lift Note?

Good question. A lift note is usually a short letter from someone other
than the writer of the main sales letter. It offers a second promotional voice
for the product or service and typically has a different tone than the sales
letter.
In a direct-response mail package, it’s usually — though not always —
printed on one or two sides of a single sheet of paper that’s smaller than
letter-sized paper (for example, 4” x 6” or 5” x 8”). In an online promotion,
it’s usually a short message (just a few paragraphs) above or linking to the
full-length promotional email letter.

Selecting Your Lift “Voice”

The lift note can come from any person who can enhance or
support your claim about your product or service.
When selecting a “voice,” keep in mind that it will determine the
relationship you forge with your prospect.
If your note comes from someone in a position of authority, it’s easy
to flatter or impress your prospect. If it comes from someone low on
the totem pole, you can appeal to his sympathy.

Lift notes can come from publishers, marketing directors, editors, satisfied
customers, celebrities, experts, or even the creators of the particular
“widget” you’re selling. They often talk about the product from an entirely
different perspective.

Part 3 3-247
In fact, good lift notes generally include benefits that are not in the main
letter — something extra that the prospect can discover about your
product or service.
Something that can get him excited enough to open up his wallet and
make the purchase…

A Two-Fold Purpose
Contrary to popular belief, lift notes serve two purposes. They 1) bring the
prospect into the sales letter with a good feeling and 2) provide a final
push after the sales letter has been read.
How does a lift note do both of these things at once?
Let me explain…
There are basically two kinds of prospects out
there. There’s the diligent one that goes right
to the sales letter, reads through it, and then
checks out all the accompanying “gates” (e.g.,
lift note, guarantee, order device).
We’ll call him Diligent Dan. Dan becomes
interested in your product or service after he’s
read the letter, but isn’t quite ready to buy. So
you include a powerful lift note to give him
a final push toward the sale. (Purpose #2)
Then there’s Speedy Sam. Sam doesn’t have a
lot of time on his hands and wants to get right
to the bottom line. So he fudges a bit. Instead
of reading your sales letter, he checks out your
order device, your guarantee… and your lift
note… to find out what you’re all about.
He’s actually trying to dismiss your promotion
so he can save even more time. But when he

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starts reading your lift note, guess what? He’s hooked! He becomes so
intrigued by what you’re saying that he moves right into your sales
letter with a positive feeling. (Purpose #1)
See how that works?
Effective lift notes sell to both the Dans and Sams out there.
(And — as you may have guessed — you’ll be “talking to” a lot of Speedy
Sams.)
As you move through this section, you’ll discover powerful lift notes that
speak to both of these typical prospects. But first, let’s start with one of our
favorite examples…
You guessed it… our beloved peanut diet.
The main letter is written and signed by the diet’s creator. And the lift note
comes from an expert in the field…

Dr. Smith, M.D.

Harvard Medical Center
“Why I’m convinced you can lose weight eating peanuts.”
From the Desk of Dr. Smith, M.D.
Dear Friend:
As a doctor specializing in nutrition, I’ve seen just about every diet under the
sun.
None, however, has the ability to melt away pounds like the Amazing Peanut
Diet.
It’s not surprising. I treat overweight people every day. And the number one
reason most diets fail is because they are so difficult to stay on. For one
thing, most diets starve you. That’s not the answer. Many diets feature bland,
bad-tasting food. That promotes cheating.
Not the Amazing Peanut Diet.
It allows you to eat all the peanuts you like (and who doesn’t love peanuts!)
day in, day out. And because you actually enjoy the food you’re eating —

Part 3 3-249
 you’re less tempted to stray from your diet.
There are other benefits, too. Peanuts are packed with protein and other nour-
ishing minerals. They’re loaded with energy, so you feel fit and strong all day.
In fact, I see no downside to the peanut diet whatsoever — except that you
may lose too much weight!
If you’re 40, 30, 20 — even as little as 5 pounds overweight — I highly recom-
mend you try the peanut diet immediately.
Sincerely,
Dr. Smith
Dr. Smith, M.D., Head of Nutrition
Harvard Medical Center

This lift note is strong because it immediately boosts the credibility of

the Amazing Peanut Diet. The diet is being praised by no less than an
established Harvard physician who specializes in nutrition. The prospect is
immediately impressed.
Plus, the physician shares a new, interesting fact with the prospect — the
number one reason why most diets fail. He tells him it’s because they’re
difficult to stay on. Not so with the Amazing Peanut Diet. Unlike other
programs, it allows him to eat as much tasty food as he can possibly enjoy.
That’s an added bonus… another compelling reason to give the Amazing
Peanut Diet a try.
Now, let’s see what a lift note from a satisfied customer might look like.
Check out this one…

“Learn why I cried when I wrote this letter …”

Dear Friend:
You should know I’m actually crying as I write this letter.
Why?
Because I get so emotional when I think about the Amazing Peanut Diet.
Six weeks ago I was 60 pounds overweight. I was squeezing myself into a size 16

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 when I should have been a size 8. It got to the point where I dreaded leaving the
house. What’s worse, I was getting heavier and heavier. My weight was growing by
about three pounds a month. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Then a friend introduced me to the Amazing Peanut Diet. She said all I had to do
was eat peanuts all day long and the weight would fall off me.
Sure, I was skeptical. But I was also ready to try just about anything.
Sure enough, a week after starting the Amazing Peanut Diet, 10 pounds had van-
ished. Two weeks later, I was 23 pounds lighter. Now, only 6 weeks later, I’ve lost
60 pounds.
I’m actually back to my ideal weight!
But that’s not all!
When I was gaining weight, my face was covered with blotches and pimples. But
since following the Amazing Peanut Diet, my face has completely cleared up! M
doctor says it’s the natural peanut oil that helped restore my youthful complexion.
Maybe now you can see why I cry when I talk about the Amazing Peanut Diet. It
changed my life — I feel like a beautiful woman again!
Sincerely,
Marge Smith
Marge Jones
Toledo, Ohio

This letter is particularly strong. First, it boosts the credibility of the

Amazing Peanut Diet by providing a personal testimonial. Then, it
communicates a powerful surprise benefit to the prospect.
Not only did the peanut diet help Marge lose weight, it also helped her
regain her youthful complexion and feel like an attractive woman again.
You can bet that any female prospect who’s reading this lift note will be
immediately intrigued. In fact, this might just be the extra push she needs
to buy the diet book.
Notice how both of these lift notes sell the peanut diet from different
perspectives.

Part 3 3-251
The first one — from a doctor’s viewpoint — talks about the reason most
diets fail… and why this one is practically foolproof. The second one is a
story from a woman who’s seen extraordinary results from the diet. Both
hail the product as effective — with extra benefits to boot.

How to “Lift” the Lift Note

While most lift notes are simply inserted along with the main
sales letter, tests have shown they perform better if they’re put in
their own envelope… and if they have their own teasers…
For example, you might say, Please read only if you’re still not
convinced… Or, Still not convinced? Would a doctor’s word help
you decide?
Each of these teasers is effective in piquing the prospect’s interest to
the point where he can’t not open the envelope. And if you have a
strong lift letter waiting inside for him — as well as a very effective
sales letter — chances are you have a winning package.

But enough about our crazy peanut diet. Let’s look at some live examples
from direct-response packages…

Ratcheting Up Your Guarantee

Here’s a good one from PREVENTION magazine…

If These “Natural Prescriptions” Don’t Work for You …

Send Them Back to Us — FREE!
Dear Friend,
In the field of medicine, there are no guarantees. I guess that’s why your doctor
does not have a sign on his door that says …
“Either You’re Cured, Or Your Money Back!”
But we at the PREVENTION BOOK CLUB feel so strongly about Dr. Giller’s new
book NATURAL PRESCRIPTIONS that we’re willing to break with medical tradi-
tion and back it up with a remarkable guarantee.
Just drop the enclosed card in the mail (the postage has already been paid), and

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 we’ll send you a preview copy of NATURAL PRESCRIPTIONS to use in your own
home for three full weeks — absolutely free.
Try some of Dr. Giller’s “prescriptions” of fruits, vegetables, vitamins, and min-
erals on minor aches and pains that crop up in your household. And if you don’t see
results within 21 days, you can use the “Merchandise Return Label” on the back of
this letter to send the book back to us at our expense.
But do me a small favor, will you? Spend at least part of those three weeks thinking
about whether or not you’d like to join the PREVENTION BOOK CLUB.
If your final answer is “yes” you can keep your copy of NATURAL PRESCRIP-
TIONS for just $1.95 (plus a small charge for postage and handling). And we’ll auto-
matically enroll you in the Club for free.
That’s better than a money-back guarantee, don’t you think? It’s a no-money, no-
risk, no-obligation guarantee, and it’s yours when you drop the enclosed card in the
mail today.
Sincerely,
Pat Corpora
Pat Corpora
For PREVENTION
PS. If you do decide to join the Club, remember that “Merchandise Return Labels”
like the one on the back of this letter are always yours for the asking as a free ben-
efit of membership. You’ll never be “stuck” with a book you don’t want, and you’ll
always have three full weeks to try it, free.

This lift note is pretty clever. It actually “sells” the guarantee by making it
seem stronger than it actually is. After all, says the writer, you don’t get a
guarantee from your doctor. But we’re going to give you one. Try Dr. Giller’s
“prescriptions” and if you don’t get results in 21 days… you can send the
book back to us at our expense.
As you already know, money-back guarantees are a standard in direct
marketing. Virtually every product or service you see is backed up by
one. But by making this clever comparison, the writer can ratchet up his
guarantee.
As a result, the prospect will feel like he’s being offered more than a fair

Part 3 3-253
deal and will move into the sales letter (if he hasn’t already done so) to get
more information.
What else can you do with a lift note?

Nailing Down Claims and Benefits

Check out this classic lift note from Forecasts & Strategies (even though it’s
from the 90s, it’s still a great example of what you can do with proof)…

If you’re not sure that you need Dr. Skousen’s investment strategies, this little
chart might help you decide …
Readers of Dr. Skousen’s Forecasts & Strate-
gies jumped on the buying opportunity. They
beefed up their positions in a few select com-
panies — for 30% to 55% immediate gains.
If you felt overwhelmed by Meltdown Mon-
day and you didn’t have a lick of a strategy in
place for profiting when stocks bounced back
on Tidalwave Tuesday, maybe you need a new
strategy.
And don’t worry that you missed out on October’s buying opportunity. As Dr.
Skousen will explain in his letter, you’ve got lots of Meltdown Mondays and easy
30% to 55% gains in your future.
Another Meltdown Monday is coming very soon. Find out about it, and prepare
to jump on this opportunity!

This lift note works because it substantiates a specific claim about a specific
benefit. It proves that on October 27, 1997, Skousen readers cashed in on a
profitable buying opportunity for 30% to 55% gains.
How does it do that? It uses a simple — yet effective — graph to back up
the claim.
So, in a relatively short period of time, the prospect is convinced that
Skousen made money for his readers at a particular point in time.

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Of course, that’s not enough to make the prospect buy the newsletter
subscription. But that’s not what a lift note is supposed to do…
Remember, a lift note does two things. It brings the prospect into the main
sales letter with a positive feeling, and/or provides a final push toward the
sale.
This lift note will accomplish either goal. If “Speedy Sam” hasn’t already
read the letter, this will provide enough of an incentive to get him in. (More
than likely, he’ll want to see if Skousen has had other big hits.) If “Diligent
Dan” has already read the letter, this will give him another reason to
consider the purchase. (The graph may persuade him to order before he
misses out on another profitable opportunity.)
Sometimes you’ll want to include a lift note from a person in a position of
authority (like our friend, Dr. Smith)…

Calling Upon People in High Places

This one comes from the Editor in Chief of Archaeology magazine…

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3-256 Part 3
This is a very effective lift note. First, it addresses a specific objection right
up front: that most people who subscribe to Archaeology magazine are
archaeologists.
So it refutes that belief with facts… fewer than 1 in 30 subscribers are
archaeologists by profession. In fact, the majority of subscribers are
doctors, lawyers, executives, teachers, students, journalists, writers,
artists… interesting people all.
Hmmm… That’s me. And you.
Then, after you’ve been included in Archaeology’s special group, the editor
takes it one step further. He flatters you into submission. He basically
says, we know you’re not an archaeologist, but we do know that you’re
intellectually adventuresome… well-read… cultured… sophisticated…
global minded.
Now, who doesn’t want to hear that? The prospect can’t help but feel good
after reading this lift note… and will move swiftly into the main sales letter.
A Few More Special Uses for Your Lift Note…
— John Forde

llUse it as a place to test your “second-best” or alternate promo headlines.

llUse it to emphasize a time deadline on the purchase.
llUse it to keep the message newsworthy. Let it cover relevant events
that have happened since the initial mailing of a control package.
llHandwrite it or use an extra-friendly tone to get an even more
personal feel.

Calling on the Satisfied Customer

Instead of calling upon a person in a position of authority, you may want to
enlist the support of a satisfied customer… someone who rose through the
ranks or improved his life because of your product or service.
Check out this powerful lift note from Writer’s Digest…

Part 3 3-257
 ONE WRITER’S TRUE STORY:
I USED TO GET FOOD STAMPS!
NOW I GET FAT CHECKS …
Dear Writer,
Not that long ago, I had a head full of article ideas, dreams of living the
writing life and, oh, food stamps.
Then, one day, a friend showed me an article in Writer’s Digest about
writing query letters. Irresistible ones that open doors. Sure, I said. Right.
No sweat. Slam dunk.
But I tried it — and guess what?
My first try I landed a magazine cover article that paid me $5,000 —
exactly 10 times all the money I had in my checking account.
This year, I will make more than $100,000 writing in my spare time at
home. You can too. How?
With a little help from Writer’s Digest. Like no other magazine, Writer’s
Digest understands that you need more than great ideas and a love of words
to succeed.
You need to know about markets. How to write a “knock-em-dead” query.
How to promote yourself. How to gain comfort with the business of being a
writer.
Trust me, there really are secrets and shortcuts that’ll save you years of
trial and error.
Whether you dream of writing magazine features … a family memoir …
or a screenplay that’ll steal Hollywood’s heart … you’ll find the HELP you
need in Writer’s Digest.
Send for your FREE issue today!
Sincerely,
Jay White
Jay White
Minneapolis, MN

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One of the reasons this is so strong is because it comes directly from
someone who’s benefited from the product. That’s credibility.
Another reason is because it understands its target audience. Writers are
naturally skeptical. They question things more than the average prospect.
So this skillful copywriter acknowledges this fact and addresses it directly.
He tells the prospect that he was skeptical when Writer’s Digest claimed
query letters could open doors for him. Sure, he said. Right. I don’t go for
this type of thing. But then when he actually gave it a shot, it worked for
him.
By putting on a skeptical suit for the prospect, he immediately overcomes
the prospect’s objections and wears down his sales resistance. He can’t
help but want to move into (or take a second look at) the main sales letter.
Also note how concise this letter is. It does the job quickly but powerfully.
An exceptional lift note.

Don’t Throw in the Kitchen Sink

Each lift note you’ve just seen accomplished a certain task. One strengthened
the guarantee, one backed up a specific claim/benefit, one provided an extra
shot of credibility, and one addressed the prospect’s reservations/objections.
This was not by accident. Successful lift notes are those that hit one
selling point… and hit it strongly. Remember, your lift note is printed on a
relatively small piece of paper. Or, if it’s a lift note for an email sales letter,
it’s a very short message above or linking to the main promotion. So you
must narrow your focus. You must give your reader a specific, concrete
reason why he should purchase your product or service right now.
If you try to summarize the theme of your package or your basic offer in
the lift note, you actually do yourself a disservice. Why?
Remember Speedy Sam? He’s the guy who doesn’t want to spend time
reading your sales letter. So he cheats and goes to all the “gates” first.
If you summarize your basic offer or theme in the lift note, you allow him to

Part 3 3-259
dismiss your product before he even gets to the meat of your promotion
— your sales letter.
As you may have already guessed by now, it’s virtually impossible to make
a slam-dunk sale off the lift note. There’s just not enough room for all the
selling techniques to take place.
And that’s why the “kitchen sink” lift note never works. You always run the
risk that someone will read it first and base the whole package on it. (This is
also true of every other gate that’s a smaller piece in the package.)
So why try to do the impossible? Take the sure and easy route. Pick one
thing that’s intriguing or compelling about your product or service and
ratchet it up a bit.
Let’s take a look at another lift note, this one from the American Automobile
Association…
Remember, in lift notes, less is more…
and more is less. When you try to include
too much, you deliver too little. Say less,
but say it perfectly. Powerfully. Give your
prospect a reason to read on.

A Final Word… or Two

Lift notes are like movie previews. Bad
movie previews show you the whole flick.
They reveal too much of the comedy…
too much of the suspense… and too
much of the excitement. When an
interested movie-goer views the preview,
he feels like he’s already seen the show
and decides not to buy the ticket.
Great movie previews tantalize the
viewer by leaving him with a burning
desire to check out the whole shebang.

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They pump up some specific aspect of the movie and get even marginal
prospects through the door…
Lift notes are aimed at marginal prospects… at people who are teetering
on the edge. Your goal as a copywriter is to lasso them in — using all the
techniques we’ve outlined in this section — so that they can become bona-
fide buyers who’ll help you create your lucrative career!

Your Next Exercise:

Exercise #19

Take this time to continue working on your writing sample. This exercise
focuses on the lift note, but there’s no rush to work on it, if you’re not ready.
Write at your own pace. Take each element in turn.
Then go online to access Exercise #19…

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 A Little Something Extra: The Secret
Power of Premiums
By Mark Morgan Ford

L ook at any direct-response offer, and you’ll see that virtually every one
of them offers a premium — a “special bonus” you get for buying the
product offered.
It may be a calculator… or a special report… or a free e-book.
As a direct-response copywriter, you’ll become very familiar with premiums.
That’s because most of the time you’ll be creating them. That’s right. Unlike
products or services (which are generally developed by the client), premiums
are often created in the minds of copywriters.
This means you may be developing the name and focus of the premium
as well as the number of premiums you want to include in your package.
In some cases, you’ll just be
selecting premiums from your
“The difference between ordinary client’s available “inventory.”
and extraordinary is that little extra.” Now, this whole process may
— Jimmy Johnson sound like a lot of extra work
— but it’s really a good thing.
Because it puts you in the
proverbial “driver’s seat.” When you can create your own premium, you can
tailor it to fit your promotion and boost your chances of winning the sale.

Why Use Premiums At All?

Simply put, premiums strengthen your offer by giving your prospect
something of value for free.
So, for example, instead of just getting your investment guide for the
super-low price of $19.95, your prospect also gets a calculator, a guide to
success or some other desirable item free of charge. Gratis. Complimentary.
Just for the heck of it.

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Now, that makes the deal a little “sweeter,” doesn’t it?
In fact, when used effectively, premiums will justify the price of your product
or service (even make it seem like a bargain), break down your prospect’s
natural sales resistance, and make him an offer he simply cannot refuse.
That’s the secret power of premiums!

The Greatest Premium of All Time…

TV infomercials are famous for their effective use of premiums. They
spend 20 minutes convincing you that you absolutely need a “Magna-
Duster.” And just when you’re thinking, “Well, maybe I do need one of
those” — wham! — they throw in a kitchen sink full of valuable and
creative premiums.
Now, there are premium offers… and then there are premium offers. By far,
the most successful premium offer was put together several years ago in a
memorable television commercial…
Does anything come to mind? We’ll give you a clue. It had to do with
knives… in fact a whole bunch of knives and other cooking utensils…
You remember. The ever-popular Ginsu knife commercial. The ultimate
premium “bribe.” Here’s how it goes…
First, the announcer sells you on the Ginsu knives. They’re
made of the finest stainless steel blades. They can cut
through anything. (Even tin cans!) They come in their own
attractive wooden block. And they’re durable, easy to use,
and maintenance-free.
Hmmm… You start to scratch your head, “They certainly
seem high-quality… but how much do they cost?”
The television quickly chimes in, “Just $19.95…”
Just as you’re almost ready to pick up the phone and order
your Ginsu knives, the announcer cries, “But wait, there’s
more!”

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If you order now, you can also get this wonderful set of steak
knives. They’re just as durable and sharp as our original Ginsu
knives… and now your whole family can enjoy them, too. You’re
impressed with the offer. Now you’re even more excited about
buying the original knives!
Then the announcer exclaims…”But wait, there’s more!”
He shows you a special kind of sharpener you can use on all
your knives. It ensures their long life. It fits conveniently in your
wooden block. And it’s made of the
same durable material as all the knives.
Just as you’re thinking, “This is too much,” the
announcer interrupts your thoughts with the same
outcry…
“But wait, there’s more!” Now he shows you a
complete set of pots and pans for your kitchen.
You get the original set of Ginsu knives, plus a full set of Ginsu steak knives,
plus a handy knife sharpener, plus a full set of pots and pans for your
kitchen… all for the same, low, low price of $19.95.

You’re completely overwhelmed. You were ready to buy when he

just showed you the original set of knives. Now, he’s exceeded your
expectations. You have no choice but to buy.
That’s the ultimate premium.

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In fact, I met Arthur D. Schiff, the man who created the original Ginsu knife
commercial. He claimed to have originated the long-lived copywriting line,
“But wait, there’s more!” — and he certainly made a lot of money and a
successful career out of a carefully crafted premium offer. (And you can,
too.)

Success Clue
Arthur D. Schiff, the legendary genius behind, “But
Wait, There’s More!”
Copywriter extraordinaire Arthur Schiff, who passed
away in 2006, was responsible for many of the classic
direct-response techniques still used today to generate
millions of dollars in sales. According to his fascinating
obituary, “From 1976 on, Schiff continuously reinvented
direct-response television advertising, coming up with
new techniques for selling product by putting together
many of the most irresistible offers ever seen on TV.”

The Ginsu knife example is what we like to call a “bribe” premium, because
it actually seduces the prospect into making the purchase. In just a
moment, I’ll tell you all you need to know about making skillful “bribes.”
But first, let’s look at the two basic types of premiums you’ll be offering
your prospect…

A Special Gift for You!

One of the most common premiums you can offer your prospect is a
tangible “gift” that he would find desirable. Calculators, radios, tote bags,
and flashlights are all gift premiums. Generally speaking, these are items
that would appeal to most people and are unrelated to your product or
service.
For example, you don’t need to be a “financial person” to understand the
value of a free calculator. Anyone can benefit from this premium. Business
people. Homemakers. Students. Even kids.

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 If you were selling an insurance policy, you might offer your prospect
a free calculator and tell him to add up the savings your plan will bring
him. Although you’ve cleverly tied the calculator into your promotion, the
calculator itself remains unrelated to your service.
It doesn’t give your prospect a better idea of the insurance policy’s
benefits… or tell him how the plan is fundamentally different from all the
other plans out there. But it does give him that little extra push to make the
purchase…
The secret behind “gift” premiums is to select something that has a high
perceived value which can be purchased cheaply.
For example, let’s say you want to offer your prospect a really cool portable
speaker for his MP3 player. So you go to a company that specializes in
finding inexpensive premiums. They do their magic and tell you they can
get you speakers for just $4.50 a piece. Not bad!
The perceived value of
“The man who will use his skill and these speakers might
be $50.00. So when you
constructive imagination to see how
offer the speaker as a
much he can give for a dollar, instead freebie in your sales letter,
of how little he can give for a dollar, is your prospect will feel
bound to succeed.” — Henry Ford as though he’s getting a
tremendous value.
See how this works?
One of the best strategies is to offer a knock-off version of a product that’s
currently trendy. This way, you can play off the trend and still keep your
premium costs down to a minimum.
If you’re selling a product to women, you may offer an attractive pair of
sunglasses or clutch bag as a premium, because they’re the latest fashion
trends in today’s budget-conscious fashion industry promoting accessories
as a way to spiff up an outfit.

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What other kinds of premiums can you offer your prospect?

Related Premiums:
The Power of Special Information
Sometimes you won’t be offering your prospect a “tangible” gift… you’ll
be offering him the gift of special information. A news-breaking health
alert. A stock advisory bulletin. A booklet about planting roses…
We call these informational premiums “related premiums,” because they
are, in fact, related to the product or service you have for sale. They give
your prospect some idea of the benefits of your product or service.
Related premiums, like gifts, can be used with both products and services.
For example, if you’re selling a bed, you might throw in a special booklet
called, “22 Tips for Successful Sleeping.” Although this booklet doesn’t give
your prospect an actual “taste” of the bed he’ll be buying, it does reinforce
the sale. It clues him into the problems that most people encounter when
they sleep and offers him valuable, proven solutions.
One of the most common ways to sell
an informational/advisory service is to
offer a related premium. Let’s say you’re
selling a gardening magazine. Halfway
through the copy, you mention how
difficult it is to grow roses.
So you create a premium called “16
Secrets to Perfect Roses.” As you can
see, this premium is specifically tailored
to your magazine. By offering your prospect tried-and-true solutions to a
common gardening problem, you reinforce his interest in your product.
I’d like to let you in on a powerful secret for maximizing related premiums,
which I’ve taught to many of my copywriting protégés. They’ve used it over
the years to generate hundreds of thousands of dollars in sales. And now,
you can use it, too…

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 As you know, when you create a promotion, you have one large, dominating
promise and several other smaller promises.
One of my approaches
“As a general rule, the most successful is to take one or two of
man in life is the man who has the best those smaller promises
information.” — Benjamin Disraeli and turn them into
related premiums.
Let’s say you promise the prospect that he can “heal” himself through
natural, home remedies. He’s interested and wants to know how he can do
just that.
So you tell him that as soon as he places his order, he can get the
breakthrough report, “The Garlic Cure,” completely free of charge. In this
amazing report, he’ll find out how one of the most common household
seasonings can eradicate disease and ensure his long life.
Now that’s a tempting premium… and a great reason to make the purchase!
Premiums can be very powerful tools in the selling process. Used
effectively, they can give your prospect that extra little impetus he may
need to buy. Plus, they create a sense of value — and help him rationalize
his buying decision.

“Bribe” Premiums:
The Art of Seducing Your Prospect
At some point in your career, you may have a product or service that’s
hard to sell. It happens to all of us. It may not have any special features. It
may not be the most technologically advanced. And you may be unsure if
people will actually buy it.
In this case, you may need to “bribe” your prospect. That is, you may need
to throw in so many enticing premiums that your prospect no longer
cares about the product. He’s seduced by your premiums and makes the
purchase just to get them.

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That’s what we call a “bribe offer.” Generally speaking, anytime you offer
your prospect more than three premiums, you’re starting to bribe him.
You’re giving him so much value that he starts to focus on the premiums
and lose sight of the product.
The classic bribe offer is the Ginsu knife commercial. After they broke out
the steak knives, the sharpener, and the pots and pans, didn’t you start
to forget about the original set of Ginsu knives? Of course you did! That’s
because that skillful copywriter bribed you…
Why did he bribe you? Truth be told, the original set of Ginsu knives was
originally made very inexpensively in China. They weren’t the best knives
out there. They didn’t have a technological “edge” over competing knives.
And the copywriter knew that. So he made you a tremendous offer you
couldn’t refuse. He seduced you into making the purchase.
But even skillful bribes have their drawbacks. Generally, the more you
“bribe” your prospects, the more returned orders you get. In a sense, bribes
stimulate refunds, because they persuade the prospect to do something he

The Most Useful Copywriting “Secret” You Will Ever

Come Across
— John Forde
There’s one copywriting “secret” that makes me more money than any
other…
By throwing in the right bonus, switching to the right price, or rewording
your guarantee… you can do in minutes what weeks of crafting a whole
new sales letter might not accomplish. You can even make “dead” lists of
customers start responding again.
That’s why I now don’t even think of writing a sales letter without
working out the offer details… even writing the offer out… before I do
anything else.
Nothing has done more to make sure I’m thinking about the customer,
right out of the gate… no step has done more to focus my headline and
lead ideas… and no insight has made it easier for me to focus on the rest
of what my sales message needs to do, while I’m writing.

Part 3 3-269
wouldn’t otherwise have done. And once his “premium fever” has worn off,
he’s no longer interested in your offer.
Moreover, when you offer bribes, you have to be aware of fact that there
are people who will just try to get your premiums for free. Remember, the
rule with premiums is that if your prospect returns the product during the
trial period, he gets to keep your premiums as your gift to him.
Now, you don’t want to give away the whole store. So you can’t offer any
premiums that will kill your bottom line if you do indeed get a number of
refunds.
As a copywriter, you must really take the time to evaluate your offer and
see if you can legitimately make the sale without bribing your prospect.
The best way to do that is to keep your eye on your swipe file. Keep
collecting and analyzing direct-marketing pieces. See what’s being offered
in the marketplace. Find out what works. And what doesn’t work.
This will help you determine the type and number of premiums you should
offer. It will even let you know if you should offer a premium at all.
Now, that may seem like an odd thing to say after I’ve just said how critical
premiums are to the selling process. But there are many offers that don’t
include premiums…

When You SHOULDN’T Offer a Premium

Anytime you’re selling a product or service that’s very expensive, it’s usually
not a good idea to include a premium.
For example, let’s say you’re selling a limited-edition collectible. You start
the letter off by telling the prospect that only 100 of these signed ceramic
plates have ever been produced. They’re handcrafted by an established
artist. They’ve been trimmed in 24-karat gold. And we just don’t know how
long our offer will last.
Now, after you’ve said all of this, would you throw in some small ceramic
figurine as a premium? Of course not. It would only diminish the perceived

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 value of your original collectible. People would start to question the quality
of the plate and — worse yet — start to question your entire offer.
The same goes for high-end
“Your offer can make a hero or a merchandise and services.
Imagine throwing in a free
bum out of the finest, slickest string
alarm clock with the purchase
of words you ever turned out.” of a Rolex watch! Or a tote
— Gene Schwartz bag when you join a $5,000
financial advisory service!
In these cases, premiums do you and your product or service a disservice.
They erode the value of whatever it is you’re selling and cast a shadow on
the offer.
In fact, there’s almost an inverse relationship between the number of
premiums you offer and the value of your product or service. As a general
rule, the less expensive your product or service is, the more premiums you
should have. Conversely, the more expensive your product or service is, the
fewer premiums you should have. (In some cases, you’ll have none.)
Got it? Good.

Ta Da! Introducing Your Premium

There are three main ways to introduce premiums…
1. The “But Wait, There’s More!” Strategy
2. The Foreshadowing Strategy
3. The Front-Door Strategy
Let’s look at each one…

But Wait, There’s More!

The most common way to introduce premiums is right after your false
close. Remember the false close? It’s when you’re just about to tell your
prospect how much your product or service is going to cost him.

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You’ve sold him on everything else. Now, you want to push him over the
edge. Guarantee he’ll take action. So you throw in a desirable premium…
Let’s say we’re selling the ever-popular peanut diet. How might we
introduce our premium?
How about this?

There’s no question that the “Amazing Peanut Diet” is an

outstanding value. In fact, we’ve had happy customers tell us
they’d gladly pay 3 times what they paid for it. Why? Because
they’re thinner, healthier, happier and more fit than they’ve
been in years!
But before I tell you how you can get your hands on this
amazing breakthrough in modern weight loss — let me tell
you about a SPECIAL GIFT I’ve reserved in your name. It’s
a special gift that I promise will help you shed even more
unwanted fat faster — UP TO 6 POUNDS A WEEK MORE!

Now you hit him with the premium.

Let’s talk about that for a moment.
In effect, premiums are “mini products” that you offer your prospect. You
have to create value for them — much in the same way you create value
for your main product or service.
Let’s pretend the premium in this case is a booklet filled with simple exercises
you can do around the house. On its own, it’s not very exciting, right?
But you’re going to change that. You’re a professional copywriter!
Remember what you learned? Sell a promise. Show benefits.
Think of the copy you write to sell the premium as a “mini” sales letter.
Begin with a subhead:

Got 15 minutes?
Lose 6 extra pounds a week!

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Then, your copy underneath the subhead might read…

Who says you have to pump, grunt, and sweat in an

expensive gym over heavy equipment to lose extra weight.
There is an easier way!
Doctors at the XYZ Institute have discovered a natural way
to boost your metabolism by as much as 100% — simply by
doing one very simple exercise — at a specific time of the day.
Studies have shown that once your body is “trained” to
expect a certain amount of activity at a certain time of the
day, your metabolism begins gearing up nearly two hours
before you actually begin the activity.
The result is your body gets the benefit of a two-hour
workout — with only 15 minutes of light activity.
Furthermore, doctors have learned that certain exercises
work better at certain times of the day. Now you can learn all
the details about this breakthrough weight-loss discovery in
a just-published report called, “Shaking Off the Pounds: Your
Guide to Permanent Weight Loss”…
And it’s yours FREE — our gift to you if you order the
Amazing Peanut Diet in the next five days!
This easy-to-read book is crammed with proven, simple
exercises that you can do right in the comfort of your own
home.
And here’s the best thing of all. You can choose the exercise
that’s easiest for you from dozens of doctor-approved
exercises. Do one exercise a day for just 15 minutes… and
you’ll lose an extra 6 pounds a week!

Notice how this gives the premium value. No longer is it a plain old book.
It’s an easy way to lose even more weight, faster. There’s a strong promise
(lose an extra 6 pounds a week) and many benefits (easy to do… in your
own home… 15 minutes a day… no gym to join).
Chances are, your prospect won’t even think of it as a “book.” Instead, it
becomes an easy way to become even thinner. And best of all, he didn’t
expect to get it.

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As we said before, you’ll often have more than one premium. But you’re
just beginning, and we all need to walk before we can run.
So let’s keep it simple for now. One premium. Two at the most.
Now, let’s look at an example of the “But Wait, There’s More!” strategy from
Letter #19 in your AWAI “Hall of Fame” collection…

… if you embrace the idea that safe, secure wealth as well as

personal and financial privacy are essential to your success and
well-being …
… if you believe that flaunting your wealth, your sources,
your financial strategies is a big mistake and that these actions
undermine your ongoing ability to prosper …
… if you believe that the best defense is a powerful offense — and
the best way to protect your wealth is to increase it …
… then you are likely to prosper as an Oxford Club member.
Let me share with you some of the things you — as a new Oxford Club
member — will learn about in the coming weeks:
 How to double and triple your cash yields: In recent months, Club
researchers traveled the world (literally) in search of safe, high-
yielding investments held in attractive global currencies — currencies
that are due to perform much better than the greenback in the coming
months. What they found was nothing short of remarkable: 10 of
the world’s safest and highest-yielding bonds, with annual profits
ranging from 8% to 15% — many guaranteed and many available
in currencies that have trounced the U.S. dollar year in and year out.
We’ve detailed them all for you in a concise, fast-reading private
report called UltraCash Today — 10 Easy Ways to Supercharge Your
Income — yours FREE when you join the Club.
 How to have safe, hidden, untouchable wealth: You’ll learn valuable
strategies for making your wealth completely hidden, untouchable,
and unassailable by anyone. You could have millions and millions
of dollars, yet nobody would know it, nobody could find it, nobody
could touch it — not with a team of lawyers, not with the most

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 powerful government on their side. And when you die, it will pass
quietly, unnoticed and untaxed, to the heirs of your choice. It’s all
detailed in a special briefing entitled Fortress of Wealth — How to
Protect What’s Rightfully Yours — yours FREE with your membership.
 How to reclaim your right to privacy: In this age of high-tech
communications and lightning-fast information highways, anyone
who wants information about you and your personal affairs can easily
get it. To fight back, we asked one of our members, who — how do
I put this delicately — specializes in corporate espionage and high-
end financial recoveries — to write a special report revealing every
imaginable way to hide your assets and protect you and your family’s
personal and financial privacy. This information-crammed briefing is
the only report of its kind that I know of that’s written especially for
individual investors. It’s called Reclaim Your Right to Privacy — and
it’s yours FREE with your two-year membership. You’ll learn about
such privacy techniques as how to hide your physical address from
anyone — including the government … how to send sensitive records
and data anywhere in the world, safely and privately … how to tell if
anyone is checking up on you … and much, much more.
Information like this is invaluable in itself.
But I haven’t even begun to tell you about some of the explosive stocks
The Oxford Club will be recommending in the coming weeks.

In the beginning of this passage, the copywriter appears to be “closing” the

letter. He tells the prospect that if he embraces certain ideals and beliefs,
he is “likely to prosper as an Oxford Club member.”
“Aha!” thinks the prospect, “Now he’s going to ask for my money. Well, he’s
not going to get it!”
The copywriter knows what the prospect is thinking. So, instead of moving
into the offer, he steps back and hits him with three valuable and exciting
premiums.
Notice how each premium is built-up and promoted in the copy. “Club
researchers traveled the world (literally) in search of safe, high-yielding

Part 3 3-275
investments”… “You could have millions and millions of dollars, yet
nobody… could touch it — not with a team of lawyers, not with the most
powerful government on their side.” …“This information-crammed briefing
is the only report of its kind that I know of that’s written especially for
individual investors.”
The prospect is surprised and delighted. He thought he was going to be
“sold,” but instead was offered three powerful reports for free.

Foreshadowing Your Premiums

Sometimes, copywriters choose
to briefly introduce their
premiums in the copy but hold
off on “the sale” until the end of
the promotion.
This is usually done when
they’re talking about a specific
problem and solution. Check
out this example from The
Complete Investor…
Here, the copywriter briefly
introduces the premium but
doesn’t push it too much. It
isn’t until you come to the end
of the promotion that you find
out all the wonderful inside
information this report can
bring you.
Here’s another example from a
promotion for the diet programs
of Dr. Atkins, a very successful
direct-response marketer in the
1990s and early 2000s…

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 The definitive study on sugar and refined carbohydrates was written
by Surgeon-Capt. T.L. Cleave in his book, The Saccharin Disease, 1978.
He studied cultures around the world and in every one, 20 years after a
significant increase in sugar and refined carbohydrate consumption —
diabetes and athero-sclerosis appear, and in proportions equal to what
happened in America.

Diet is key to the cause and cure of the century’s major cause of death. Two
striking examples of Cleave’s law are Iceland beginning in 1920 and the
nomadic Yemenite Jews.

Before sugar and refined carbohydrates were introduced into both of these
cultures, there were no incidences of diabetes or atherosclerosis. Just two
decades later, both cultures were plagued with the Western illness.

A.M. Cohen was another pioneer in studying the effects of excessive sugar
consumption. Cohen and his associates discovered, much to their chagrin,
that a whole breed of diabetic rats could be created — simply by feeding
them sugar and breeding the most sugar-susceptible rats (Metabolism,
1972). And the worst part: the process only took six generations! We are now
in the fourth generation of increased sugar consumption. Are we doomed to
the same fate as Cohen’s rats?

Not by a long shot — if you follow my diet.

At the Atkins Center, we have seen more than 6,000 patients with adult
onset diabetes. Because we understand that this illness is caused by diet, we
know how to treat it. And with astonishing success!

We have helped over 90 percent of patients with adult onset diabetes!

You can kick the sugar habit, too! Find out how in my exclusive special
report, Secrets of the Atkins Center, available only to readers of Health
Revelations. (See page 23 for more details!)

Notice how the copywriter clearly communicates the problem with

excessive sugar consumption. He uses studies and facts to make his case
— then just after he piques your interest and stirs your emotions, he offers
you a powerful solution. A free special report that will help you “kick the
sugar habit.”

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You want to learn more about this report… but the writer makes you
wait until you get to page 23 (the end of the promotion). When you get
to page 23, you realize that this special report is chock-full of valuable
information…

This is it folks! We’re opening up the doors and letting you in on three
decades of powerful health and healing secrets in use at the Atkins Center.
The following list represents just a small fraction of what you’ll learn in this
exciting new report!

• Dr. Atkins’ most important recommendation for daily heart protection:

This vitamin alone will protect your heart for decades.

• Attention women! Find out the KEY to overcoming your menopause

symptoms without increasing your breast cancer risk.

• Six steps to alleviating arthritis pain …and nine supplements that

practically guarantee pain-free joints and comfortable, easy range of
motion.

• The 7- second secret to drug-free headache relief.

• The remarkable nutrient that combats varicose veins and allergies! This
natural substance derived from pine tree bark is a great antioxidant, too!

• The Atkins Center “trick” to putting an end to after-dinner snack binges!

WARNING! Some blood pressure drugs are harmful to your memory! If

you’re taking medication for high blood pressure, there are two very popular
drugs that have recently been shown to impair verbal memory in both
normal and hypertensive patients! Dr. Atkins will tell you what they are …
and how to lower your blood pressure without medication!

Send in your reply coupon within the next 10 days and we’ll send you this
exclusive report ABSOLUTELY FREE!

Now, that’s selling a premium!

How else can we introduce premiums in our sales letter? How about being
upfront about it?

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 The Front-Door Strategy
In some cases, you’ll feel your premium is so strong that you’ll want to
promote it right from the beginning of the letter. In essence, you’ll be
selling your premium in order to get sales for your product or service.
This is the only time that a premium is not used to “sweeten” the deal. It is
the deal.
Of course, it would be a mistake to sell a premium from the beginning if it’s
not powerful enough to captivate your audience. You’ll lose the sale right
in the lead of your promotion.
For this very reason, the Front-Door Strategy is reserved for master
copywriters who can really evaluate the “saleability” of their premiums. It’s
a risky strategy for beginning copywriters.
But, let’s see how Bill Bonner, from our AWAI Panel of Experts, tackled this
challenge. From page 1 of his International Living promotion (Letter #5 in
your AWAI “Hall of Fame” e-book)…

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The prospect can’t help but get excited about The 5 Best Retirement
Destinations in the World. It’s more than a special report — it’s a private
invitation to the most beautiful retirement Edens in the world. It’s an
adventure in an exotic land, where life is simpler, less expensive… and
more savored.
When this copywriter has captured the prospect in this dreamy mood, he
introduces the product he has for sale… a subscription to International
Living. By this point, the prospect is already “sold” on a lot of the benefits
that the publication can offer… and he’s more open to the claims that will
be presented in the body of the letter.
But even if you introduce your premium in one of the three main ways
we’ve just discussed… “But Wait, There’s More!”… “Foreshadowing”…
“The Front Door”… you’ll still want to feature it on a separate “gate” in your
package. That way, your prospect can’t help but notice it when he opens
up your envelope…

If a Premium Is Strong Enough, It Gets Its Own “Gate”

This separate piece of paper (the gate) is often called a “buckslip,” because
it’s generally about the shape and size of a dollar bill.

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The same rules for selling a premium in your sales letter apply to selling it
on a buckslip. You must have a promise of what the premium will do for
your prospect, and you must give him as many benefits as possible.
The only difference is you need a headline that differentiates the premium
from the main product or service. For example, many times premiums are
offered as a way to solicit immediate action.
Let’s return to our trusty peanut diet. Say we’re going to create a buckslip
for our special report.
Here’s how our headline might read on our buckslip…

FREE — when you order in the next 5 days!

SPECIAL REPORT: Lose 6 EXTRA Pounds a Week
— Fast and Easy!

Remember, the buckslip is like a miniature sales letter. You have to make a
strong promise and reveal benefits.
Obviously, there are a few problems associated with trying to cram an
entire sales message onto a buckslip. So you have to set it up a little
differently.
You already have your promise in the headline: “Lose 6 extra pounds a
week.” Now you have to paint your big benefit…

Imagine stepping on your bathroom scale a month

from now and being thrilled to discover
you’ve dropped 24 pounds!

Now you’ve painted a picture — the vision of your prospect stepping on

the scale a few weeks down the road, only to discover that 24 pounds have
disappeared. The next sentence has to prove that this can actually happen.
So now you say…

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 Stop imagining! It can happen to you — thanks to a remarkable
new process doctors have discovered to speed up your
metabolism naturally — without drugs! They’ve discovered
that if you perform some very basic body movements — at
very specific times of the day — you could double your body’s
metabolism. And it’s all in this brand-new “doctor-approved”
report, “Shaking Off the Pounds: Your Guide to Permanent
Weight Loss!”

Although you can’t go into a lot of detail to prove your claim, you can use
certain language that suggests the validity of your “proof.” Phrases like
“new process,” “without drugs,” and “doctor-approved” help establish the
believability of your claims…
Now it’s time for some specific benefits. Since we’re limited for space on a
buckslip, the best way to do this is with bullets.
How do you find these bullet benefits? Normally, you would go through
the report and pick out all the wonderful things it can offer your prospect.
Then you would use the Four U’s© to create urgent, benefit-oriented
bullets…
First, we need a transition that leads into the bullets…

Impossible-to-lose pounds will begin to drop off like magic —

as many as 6 per week — as you learn these simple and easy
techniques for naturally boosting your body’s metabolism:

Now it’s time for our bullets…

• 8 fat-burning movements you can do while watching

your favorite TV show.
• The single best 5-minute routine for boosting your energy
levels by 100%.
• The one thing you should do before you get out of bed
every morning (and one thing you should never, ever do).

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 • This one-minute movement you can do after each meal
can shed a pound a day. (It actually feels great and
anyone can do it!)
• Add this everyday, household food to one meal a day and
watch the fat fall off. (Every household has some!)

Notice how specific these bullets are: “8 fat-burning exercises”… “5-minute

routine”… “one-minute movement” … “shed a pound per day”…
Also note how they’re about information that people aren’t likely to know.
The average copywriter might have written a bullet like this: “Learn how
special exercises help promote weight loss.” That’s not very intriguing, is
it? Everyone knows exercise promotes weight loss — but they don’t know
that there’s a one-minute movement that can shed a pound a day.
Okay, what’s next? We’ve made the promise… painted the big benefit…
offered some proof… and communicated some specific things our
prospect will learn. Now it’s time for the close.
As you may have already guessed, “closing” your prospect on a premium
isn’t quite the same as closing him on an actual product or service.
After all, you’re not selling the premium directly. You’re giving it away. So
how do you close the premium sale? You remind your prospect that this
report is valuable in itself — that on its own it could help him lose all the
weight he wants to lose. So you say something like…

This information-crammed, fat-shedding report would easily

be worth $29.95 in bookstores. But it’s yours FREE, just for
ordering the Amazing Peanut Diet within the next 5 days!

Presto! You’ve given your premium real value. Now you have a winning
buckslip insert for your premium — a mini sales letter within a sales letter.
Let’s see how it looks when it’s all put together…
In this case, the buckslip may be two or three times the normal size, but
folded down in half or thirds. On the outside, we’d start with…

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 FREE — when you order in the next 5 days!
SPECIAL REPORT: Lose 6 EXTRA Pounds a Week
— Fast and Easy!
Imagine stepping on your bathroom scale a month
from now and being thrilled to discover
you’ve dropped 24 pounds!

Once opened, the buckslip reveals how the reader can achieve these
results…

Stop imagining! It can happen to you — thanks to a remarkable

new process doctors have discovered to speed up your
metabolism naturally — without drugs! They’ve discovered
that if you perform some very basic body movements — at
very specific times of the day — you could double your body’s
metabolism. And it’s all in this brand-new “doctor-approved”
report, “Shaking Off the Pounds: Your Guide to Permanent
Weight Loss!”
Impossible-to-lose pounds will begin to drop off like magic —
as many as 6 per week — as you learn these simple and easy
techniques for naturally boosting your body’s metabolism:
• 8 fat-burning movements you can do while watching
your favorite TV show.
• The single best 5-minute routine for boosting your energy
levels by 100%.
• The one thing you should do before you get out of bed
every morning (and one thing you should never, ever do).
• This one-minute movement you can do after each meal
can shed a pound a day. (It actually feels great and
anyone can do it!)
• Add this everyday, household food to one meal a day and
watch the fat fall off. (Every household has some!)
This information-crammed, fat-shedding report would easily
be worth $29.95 in bookstores. But it’s yours FREE, just for
ordering the Amazing Peanut Diet within the next 5 days!

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Not bad! Now, you’ve probably noticed that we stuck in a few lines that you
don’t recognize. Here’s why:
When we put the paragraphs together, we realized that some of the
elements had to be strengthened. We decided that the picture wasn’t
strong enough, so we added the idea of going to the beach and fitting
into smaller clothes. Then we decided that the offer needed more urgency.
So we added the line: “Only a limited number of reports are available for
immediate delivery.”
Remember, good writing comes from rewriting.

Your Next Exercise:

Exercise #20

This exercise reinforces the concepts of writing premium promotions and

applying those to your sample letter or email promotion.
Please go online to access Exercise #20…

Putting It All Together: Polishing and

Proofing
By Mark Morgan Ford

I f you’re going to gain a solid reputation as a professional copywriter,

you want to make sure every piece of copy you submit to a client is as
compelling as it can be… that you said everything you wanted to say in the
strongest way possible.
You also want to make sure the copy you submit is “clean”… that it flows
smoothly and is free of obvious errors.

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 This will make your clients very happy. They’ll be less likely to nitpick their
way through your copy. This means fewer rewrites and revisions for you…
and you’ll be able to move on to your next paying project more quickly.
So, be sure to build in some time
for editing and refining each
“Revision is one of the exquisite
writing assignment until you’re
pleasures of writing.” completely satisfied that it flows
— Bernard Malamud smoothly and you’ve written a
winner.
You’ll be amazed at how a few hours of polishing and proofing will make
your copy sing.
Here are 5 simple steps to ensure your copy is the best it can be before
turning it in to a client or for review…

Step 1: Do Absolutely Nothing.

That’s right — nothing!
Once you’ve finished writing your copy, you
need to put it away for a while. Two days
should do it.
Why? Because it’s almost impossible to look
objectively at something you’ve just written.
Your eye is more likely to see what you
meant to say instead of what’s actually on the paper.
So, take a break. You deserve it!
Once you’ve taken a step back from your work and then start reading it
again, you’ll be amazed at your ability to spot sentences that seem stiff,
awkward, or confusing.
You’ll also be able to find little errors, like where you wrote “you” when you
meant “your”… “there” that should be “their”… “it’s” that should be “its”…
and so on.

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 Step 2: Print Your Copy and Read It Out Loud.
Sounds crazy, but printing out your copy and reading it out loud
does two very important things…
First, it forces you to read every word slower than if you were
reading it silently to yourself.
Second, it’s one of the best ways to catch awkward or
“twisted” phrasing that can creep into even the best
writing. Sentences that don’t naturally roll off your
tongue. Words that are difficult to pronounce. Phrases
that are too long to say in one breath.
Remember, good copywriting is conversational writing.
If your writing doesn’t sound like you’re talking to your best friend, it’s not
good copy.
If you need an example of the way your copy should read, take a look
at the way we’ve written this program. Sentences flow. The tone is
conversational. Paragraphs are nice and short.
So, start at the top. Read every word. Record yourself doing it, if you like…
and then listen back to the recording.
1. Do the sentences flow easily? If your speech sounds awkward, dull
or pretentious, revise it. Then check it again.
2. Check for long, complex sentences that can be broken up and
made more direct. It’s easy to spin on and on as the thoughts flow.
But no one speaks in multiple clauses. So be on the lookout for long
sentences with or without lots of commas. In most cases, you’ll be
able to turn them into multiple sentences that are shorter.
3. Try holding the page at arm’s length. If you see any big blocks
of text or too much consistency in the length of your paragraphs…
break it up.
4. Review for structure and content. Does the piece make sense? Do

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 the thoughts flow in some sort of logical order? Are important ideas
connected… or do they float freely, apart from one another?
You can often fix structural problems by simply moving sentences,
paragraphs, and sections around to make the piece tighter.
5. Read it again like you’re seeing it for the first time. Be your
prospect. Fold your arms and adopt a suitably skeptical scowl. It’s
you against the person trying to sell you something. When you
get to the end of the letter — to the call to action — honestly ask
yourself, “Would I respond to this? Would I buy this product?”
You’ll be shocked by how much better your copy reads applying this
important step.
Get Back That “Conversational Tone”
By John Forde
The grand-daddy of rules about copy is that we’re supposed
to “write like people talk.” This is NOT, however, an excuse for sloppy
writing. Rather, it means, among other things… using more clipped
phrasing… shorter sentences… smaller words… lots of contractions…
and even a lot of these (“…”) things.
If you’re worried you didn’t get it right the first time around, no problem.
Simply hit the “find” feature on your word processor and start searching
for phrases like “cannot” or “is not” or any other opportunities to pull
words together.
It’s also a good rule of writing to cut back on as many “that” occurrences
as possible. You’ll find it won’t change the meaning in about half of your
sentences. But your “flow” will vastly improve, and your message will
shine through.
After you’ve read your copy out loud and have corrected all the clumsy
wording, it’s time for Step 3…

Step 3: Let Others Read It.

This step comes in two phases. A general phase and a fine-tuning phase.

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 In the general phase, you’re looking for
overall “broad-stroke” comments. So
you give your promotional copy to at
least two people and ask them to read
it as if they had just received it in their
mailbox or as an email.
You can ask anyone you want. It can be
your spouse, a friend, your mother, your
father, brother or sister. Just ask them to
read the letter as you’ve written it.
After they’ve finished reading, ask them the following questions:
1. How would you rate the overall appeal of this letter on a scale of 1
(least) to 20 (most)? Explain why.
2. Does the letter have an intriguing idea? Does it illustrate different
benefits of the product or service? Does it establish the credibility and
track record of product or service provider?
3. Do you believe the claims that are being made?
4. Do you understand the offer?
5. Would you purchase this product or service in the mail or online? Why
or why not?
6. Would you purchase this product for the price asked in the letter?
What do you think is the most appropriate price for this product or
service?
Chances are, you’ll get an honest answer to the first four questions. But
you’re not going to be so lucky with the last two. You’ll find that people
either don’t want to hurt your feelings and will answer “yes.” Or that they
don’t want to admit that any letter could convince them to buy anything,
so they’ll tell you “no.”
After a while, you’ll get to know if a letter affected them by their reaction.

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 If the response is sincere, they’ll act genuinely excited. If they’re “faking it,”
they’ll tend to choose their words very carefully.
If you’re not sure (or if they told you outright that your letter didn’t interest
them), ask these two “follow-up” questions:
1. What is it about the letter that didn’t work for you?
2. What would make you buy the product or service?
Again, take what people say with a grain of salt. If you’re absolutely
convinced you’ve written strong copy, don’t change it.
On the other hand, if you
“So the writer who breeds more find that all your readers
words than he needs, is making have problems in the same
a chore for the reader who reads.” areas, you’ll probably need
to do a little tweaking.
— Dr. Seuss
Now it’s time to get some
specific feedback. The best way to do this is through a “prospect read.”
Simply put, this is where you give your copy to people who would be
typical prospects for your product or service.
If you’re selling vitamins to people over 40, you’ll want to find readers who
are over 40 and who have previously purchased vitamins through the
mail or online. If you’re selling computers to tech-savvy Generation Y’ers,
you would want to find a few 20-somethings who’ve bought computers
through the mail or online.
How do you do that? You give your copy to at least three typical prospects
and have them rate every single paragraph and bullet as “strong,”
“mediocre,” or “weak.” If it’s strong, ask them to put a “3” in the margin…
if it’s mediocre, have them put a “2”… and if it’s weak, put a “1.” This way,
you’ll know exactly where your copy hits the mark and where it wanders
off course.
You also want these readers to let you know if they have any “Eureka!”

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moments — when they’re genuinely sold on your product and are ready to
order. Have them mark the specific places in the copy where they get this
overwhelming feeling by circling it and putting a star in the margin.
Truth be told, Eureka moments don’t always occur, but when they do
they’re a reliable sign of copy strength.
Finally, you want to know if your readers find any parts of your promotion
unclear and/or boring. Have them mark these problem areas as “confusing”
(with a “C” in the margin) and “boring, you’re losing me” (with a “B” in the
margin).
When you use this powerful step, you’ll be leaps and bounds ahead of
most professional copywriters. You’ll know exactly how to tailor your copy
for your target prospects. You’ll know where you should strengthen it. Play
it down. Or eliminate it completely.
Now, for the next step…

Step 4: Put Your Copy Through a “Punch List.”

In the construction trade there’s something called a “punch list.” It’s the
list of small details and unfinished items that the contractor uses in a
final walk-through of the project. As a copywriter, you can use a punch
list to write better marketing copy.
Every copywriter’s punch list will be unique. As you gain
experience and get feedback from your clients, make note of the
types of tasks you sometimes forget to do in your copy. Then use
that to build your own personal checklist for all future writing
projects.
Here’s a sampling of punch list items to get you started:
1. Did you use a consistent “voice”?
Are you talking to “you,” the reader, throughout the whole piece?
2. Is the headline still consistent with the lead and main idea?
Sometimes the emphasis has shifted and the original headline no

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 longer promises on what the body delivers. Go back to the headline,
if you wrote it earlier, and make sure it’s still a meaningful lead-in to
the first paragraph and the rest of the content.
3. Did you satisfy the Four U’s©?
Apply the Four U’s© formula — Urgency, Uniqueness, Usefulness,
Ultra-Specificity — to all your headlines and subheads to instantly
strengthen them.
4. Bullets, verbs, and numbers.
Bulleted lists of benefits, features, and facts are ubiquitous (that
means “all over the place”) in sales copy. On a second pass, make sure
most of those bullets start with a number, a powerful verb, or — at
least — a hook phrase like “how to.”
5. Did you remember to include an effective call to action?
Did you give the reader something practical and specific to do? Make
sure the call to action seamlessly fits the message and comes across
as natural and helpful.
6. Check transitions between paragraphs.
When you cut and paste in order to put the text into a more logical
order, something may get lost. Make sure the sentences and
paragraphs include transitions that smoothly guide your prospect
from one idea to the next. From one benefit to the other.
7. If you’re optimizing your copy for search engines, make sure
your keyword phrases fit seamlessly into the text.
Reading your piece out loud will help eliminate “keyword stuffing,” a
signal to the search engines that you’re nearing the realm of spam. It’s
also a turn-off to the reader. Conversely, if you notice an opportunity
to add an appropriate keyword phrase without altering the meaning
or messing up the language, now is the time to insert it.
You’ll have your own punch list of the things you’re likely to forget when
polishing your copy. Print the list, use it, and check each item off as you do it.

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Keep going through this editing process until you feel that no word,
phrase, or paragraph can be deleted. Every word in your copy is carrying
its own weight and serves its own purpose. You end up with a streamlined,
lean, effective, persuasive, powerful piece of copy without an ounce of
extra fat on it. 
Only then is the project ready for the final step…
The Fiskars School of Editing
By Will Newman
Computers are so handy for editing copy that many copywriters
have forgotten about doing it the old-fashioned way: with a pair of
scissors.
But, sometimes…
Let’s say you’ve read and improved your copy for the second or third
time. You’ve nailed your promise. The words say what you want to say.
And everything is just about perfect.
Except… not everything is in the right place.
When this happens, don’t cut and paste on screen. It can get confusing.
Instead, print out a copy of your promo. Cut out the parts that don’t feel
like they’re in the right order. Mark each of these snippets with the page
number where they originally came from.
Lay them out and read them. Move text blocks around to experiment
with different orders. When you hit on the one that works best, mark
each snippet with a reminder of where you intend to move it. Staple the
snippets together and do your on-screen copy/paste using them as your
guide.
Once you’ve completed this editing process, go back and reread the
results. You may have to change/add transitions. But after doing that,
your copy will be much stronger. Just as you intended.

Step 5: Proofread Every Sentence of Your Copy.

One of the difficult tasks you face as a copywriter is proofreading your
own work. You’ve written and revised it several times by now, and it’s that
closeness that can blind you to your mistakes.

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 After all, you know how it’s supposed
to read. So, as you read it, your brain
fills in missing words. It makes sense
of nonsensical phrases. It seems that
no matter how hard you try to find
typos and errors, there are always two
or three hiding out.
But to be seen as a professional
copywriter, you MUST proofread your
writing. Done properly… you might
even enjoy it.
Just remember: proofing is NOT revising… or rewriting. It’s important to
complete Steps 1-4 first — get your copy exactly where you want it, as
close as possible to your finished product — BEFORE you proofread.
Then, when you proofread, don’t even think about making any major
changes. If you do, you’ll lose track of what you were trying to do and end
up doing yet another rewrite.
If you spot any problem areas while completing this last step, simply
circle them and go back later to revise when you’ve completed the entire
proofreading process.
While there’s no foolproof way to proofread, here’s a strategy that works
for many writers:
1. First, run the spellchecker. But don’t depend on it. These software
devices are handy, but they’re not foolproof. And they don’t usually
detect missing phrases or words, or clumsily worded passages.
 hen, print out a hard copy, because you can’t see errors or copy
2. T
problems on the monitor as easily as you can on the printed page. Make
any necessary corrections, then transfer them to your computer file.
3. Proofread grammar and word usage. Start by reading each
sentence word for word. Then reread the sentence as a whole. When

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 you’re done with all the sentences in a paragraph, go back and read
the paragraph as a whole.
Of course, you don’t have to adhere strictly to classroom rules of
grammar when writing promotional copy. But make sure you don’t
make any obvious blunders that your reader is likely to notice.
For example, make sure you’ve used the correct forms of “there,”
“their,” and “they’re”… “you’re” and “your”… “its” and “it’s.” And be
aware of any inconsistencies as to voice, person, and tense… which
could confuse your reader.
Another technique you can try is to proofread your copy in reverse…
starting with the very last sentence and working backwards, one sentence
at a time. This slows you down. It forces your brain to pay attention to
what’s on the page and not what you think is on the page.
Plus, when you’re reading
“When you write a book, you spend backwards, it’s much
day after day scanning and identifying more difficult for your eye
the trees. When you’re done, you have to jump ahead. Therefore,
to step back and look at the forest.” your concentration is on
spelling, punctuation,
— Stephen King, On Writing
grammar, and so forth.
Bottom line is, you should always strive to turn out copy that is absolutely
flawless. Every nick and scratch in your copy is a negative reflection on your
professionalism. Misspelled or misused words could make the difference
between a sales letter that’s rolled out and one that’s discarded.
By proofreading your work carefully, you’ll turn out much cleaner, more
professional copy. Simple enough, right?

One Last Thing You MUST Do…

Read the Whole Thing One More Time… Aloud
Better yet, have someone else read it to you while you follow along on your
own printed copy. Do NOT try to follow along on the monitor.

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 What you’re listening for are spots that will bring your reader to a grinding
halt — cumbersome passages that just don’t sound right… phrases or
sentences that seem awkward or klutzy.
Mark any spot where your partner misreads a word or stumbles. That might
indicate a place where your copy isn’t flowing as well as it should.
Now, before you go on to the next section, I’d like to say a word about how
to become truly successful…

Theory of Accelerated Failures

The way to become truly successful is twofold. First, you must be willing
to make mistakes. Second, you need to make most of your mistakes in the
beginning of your career and immediately correct them. (Hence the term
“accelerated failures.”)
For example, let’s say you’ve just written your first promotion. You’ve put
a lot of good work into it and you’re pleased with it. But when your client
tests it, it brings back only mediocre results.
After reviewing the package more
thoroughly, you find a mistake.
“The road to success is paved
Your copy wasn’t really directed
with accelerated failures.” toward the prospect. You talk
— Mark Morgan Ford about your own experiences a bit
too much…
So, what do you do?
You apply the theory of accelerated failures.
First, you need to realize that you (like everyone else) make
mistakes. And since this was your first effort, it would be unrealistic to
expect a perfect promotion. (Imagine if your very first promotion were a
blockbuster hit… you’d think that every promotion you wrote would be as
successful… and you’d soon be in for a rude awakening.)
Now, you must address the second half of the theory…

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You must correct the mistake immediately. You must learn how to
establish intimacy with your prospect by practicing several different
techniques. Then you must practice these techniques again… and again…
until you have them down cold.
Finally, you must remember to never make that mistake again.
See how that works?
You immediately correct the mistakes you make your first time around so
they don’t happen the second time around. When you get to your second
effort, you follow the same process. You correct the mistakes, learn from
them, and make sure they don’t happen your third time around. And so on.
So in each successive effort you make, you’ll be making “smarter” and
“smarter” mistakes. (In fact, you’ll know you’re really ahead of the crowd
when you see professional copywriters making mistakes you’ve already
corrected and learned from.) That’s the power of accelerated failures.
When you look at it this way, you start to see how failures are actually
precious gifts to you. They force you to look in new directions, approach
different angles, and continuously learn.
It’s true. Most of the very successful people in our time have reached that
status because they weren’t afraid to make mistakes… and because they
quickly learned from them.
Think about it…

Babe Ruth would never have gotten a home

run if he weren’t willing to get struck out first.

Henry Ford would never have created the

Model T if he had given up after his first try.

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 And Walt Disney would never have created Mickey Mouse if
he weren’t willing to get laughed at first…

Perhaps the most noteworthy example is Thomas Edison.

According to historical accounts, Edison failed 10,000 times
in his storage battery experiments. When asked about these
failures, Edison replied, “Why I have not failed. I’ve just
found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Edison went on to win 141 patents for storage batteries as well
as 389 for electric light and power, 195 for the phonograph,
150 for the telegraph, and 34 for the telephone. 1,093 patents
in all.
How’s that for learning from your mistakes?
So, when you sit down to
write your copy, take the
“Failure is success if we learn from it.”
Thomas Edison example
— Malcolm Forbes (August 19, 1919 – to heart. Remember that
February 24, 1990) was publisher of true success can come only
Forbes magazine through failures. Never be
afraid of making a mistake.
While I’m on the subject of mistakes, let me say a word about criticism…

Why You Should ENCOURAGE Criticism…

Now you know that successful people are people who aren’t afraid to be
wrong and make mistakes.
Let’s expand on this idea…

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Successful people are also smart enough to accept criticism from people
wiser than they are. Because they realize that criticism is a gift. It allows
them to grow and learn much faster than they ever thought possible.
As a starting copywriter, you want to get as much criticism and advice as
you possibly can. It will allow you to broaden your understanding of selling
strategies, architecture, and voice of a winning sales letter, and all the other
direct-marketing goodies we’ve discussed thus far.
It will allow you to know — instantly — when you’re doing something that
will increase your chances of winning a sale… and when you’re not. (It’ll
even help you correct the weaknesses.)
Criticism will help you create winning copy for a variety of products and
services with different selling propositions.

Success Clue
The Benefits of Forming a Copy Circle
“My fellow group members are submitting their work
for Peer Review, telling us about projects they’re
working on, asking for and getting support. It has been
awesome!” — Jacqueline P.
“I like being able to shoot an email to a copywriting
buddy with a draft project and know he or she will give
me feedback on it.” — Theresa R.
“Our group gives each other support, encouragement,
and feedback on our copywriting. Along with the
occasional kick in the butt when it is needed. One of
our members was recently inducted into the AWAI
‘Wall of Fame,’ and I’m sure others will be following
soon. Everyone in the group has been paid for our
copywriting, and with the support and encouragement
of each other are all well on our way to living the
copywriter’s life.” — Laura M.

Part 3 3-299
One of the strongest suggestions we can offer to help you receive this
invaluable criticism is to form a Copy Circle and use AWAI’s Peer Review
System. Join with other AWAI copywriters in your area to form a group and
commit to supporting each other on your quest to becoming six-figure
copywriters.
How? By becoming ongoing sources of inspiration for each other… by
critiquing each other’s copy… by sharing marketing ideas… brainstorming
concepts… and cheering each other on during this journey.
(You can find details about the AWAI Peer Review System on your myAWAI
member page.)
Finally, don’t worry about mistakes as you’re
starting out. Here’s what Leo Burnett had to say
about mistakes:
“To swear off making mistakes is very easy.
All you have to do is to swear off having ideas.”
And who is Leo Burnett? He was an advertising
executive, but not just any ad exec. Burnett was
named by Time magazine as one of the 100 most
influential people of the 20th century. He created
some icon brands you might have heard off… the
Jolly Green Giant, Charlie the Tuna, Morris the Cat,
the Pillsbury Doughboy, and Tony the Tiger.
Mistakes will happen, and it’s okay. Use the Copy Circle and Peer Review
System to learn from those mistakes and improve your copy.

3-300 Part 3
Suggested Reading

Suggested
Reading
“Create More Compelling Copy by Going Beyond Features and Benefits,”
by Bob Bly

“The ‘So What?’ Technique for Squeezing Core Benefits Out of Your Product’s Features,”
by Mark Morgan Ford

“Revealing Deeper Benefits,” by John Forde

Vitale, Joe. The Attractor Factor: 5 Easy Steps for Creating Wealth (or Anything Else) From the
Inside Out. Wiley; 2nd edition (September 22, 2008).

Vitale, Joe. Life’s Missing Instruction Manual. Wiley; 1st edition (February 24, 2006).

Vitale, Joe. Hypnotic Writing: How to Seduce and Persuade Customers with Only Your Words.
Wiley; 1st edition (December 22, 2006).

Hodgson, Richard S. The Greatest Direct Mail Sales Letters of All Time.
Dartnell Corp; Rev Sub edition (September 1995).

Gladwell, Malcolm. The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference.
Back Bay Books (January 7, 2002)

“Using Your Picture to Make Your Promise Feel Real,” by Will Newman

Bly, Robert W. The Copywriter’s Handbook: A Step-By-Step Guide to Writing Copy That Sells.
Holt Paperbacks; 3rd edition (April 4, 2006).

Ogilvy, David. Ogilvy on Advertising. Vintage; 1st Vintage Books edition (March 12, 1985).

Galletti, Carl. 2001 Greatest Headlines Ever Written. Speaker Fulfillment Services (2007).

“Why ‘Grabbing Attention’ Is Not Enough for a Truly Powerful Headline,”

by Will Newman

“How to Generate BIG Ideas… and Even BIGGER Paychecks!”

by Guillermo Rubio

Part 3 3-301
Masterson, Michael. The Architecture of Persuasion: How to Write Well-Constructed Sales
Letters. American Writers & Artists Inc. (2008).

“Use the Power of Words to Get What You Want,” by Will Newman

“The Secret of the USP: Be Different… Get Noticed… Be Successful”

“Using Testimonials for Maximum Effect,” by Michael Masterson

“Show & Tell and the Law of Writing Gravity,” by Cindy Cyr

“The Movie Die Hard’s Copywriting Lesson,” by John Wood

“5 Shockingly Simple Ways to Influence Your Buyer,” by John Forde

Cialdini, Robert B., PhD. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.

HarperBusiness; Revised edition (December 26, 2006).

“An Irresistible Guarantee: Overcoming Your Prospect’s Final Reservations,”

by Will Newman

“Skyrocket Response by Eliminating Your Prospect’s Risk,” by John Wood

“Seal the Deal With a Strong Order Device,” by Will Newman

“How to Write Better Copy by Being Honest,” by John Forde and Michael Masterson

“Let THEM Say It For You — They Can Do a Better Job,” by Dan Kennedy

“Picking the Best Testimonials,” by Hallie Mummert

“Mastering the Hidden Power of Lift Notes,” by John Forde

“12 Ways to Use Lift Notes to Boost Response,” by John Forde

“Arthur D. Schiff: Direct-Response Television Pioneer,” Boston Globe, August 25, 2006.

3-302 Part 3
 Additional
Resources
“AWAI Hall of Fame: Great Selling Ideas From 50 Super-Successful Direct-Mail Letters and
Direct-Response Ads”

ZogbyAnalytics.com

Gallup.com

WebMD community discussion groups

“Understanding the Four-Legged Stool”

The Masters Program for Six-Figure Copywriting

Email Copy Made Easy: How to Write More Persuasive Emails That Get Opened, Get
Read, and Get Click-Throughs

Copywriting 2.0: Your Complete Guide to Writing Web Copy That Converts

How to Make Money As a Social Media Marketing Expert

Site Audits Made Simple

Part 3 3-303
 Published by:

American Writers & Artists Inc.

245 NE 4th Avenue, Suite 102
Delray Beach, FL 33483