C1.

Culture, cultural iceberg and intercultural communication

A. DEFINITION

● Culture:

Ø Culture refers to the cumulative deposit of knowledge, experience,

beliefs, values, attitudes, meanings, hierarchies, religion, notions of time,
roles, spatial relations, concepts of the universe, and material objects and
possessions acquired by a group of people in the course of generations
through individual and group striving.

Ø Culture is the system of knowledge shared by a relatively large group of

people.

Ø Culture is communication, communication is culture.

Ø Culture in its broadest sense is cultivated behavior; that is the totality of a

person's learned, accumulated experience which is socially transmitted, or
more briefly, behavior through social learning.

Ø A culture is a way of life of a group of people--the behaviors, beliefs,

values, and symbols that they accept, generally without thinking about them,
and that are passed along by communication and imitation from one
generation to the next.

Ø Culture is symbolic communication. Some of its symbols include a

group's skills, knowledge, attitudes, values, and motives. The meanings of
the symbols are learned and deliberately perpetrated in a society through its
institutions.

Ø Culture consists of patterns, explicit and implicit, of and for behavior

acquired and transmitted by symbols, constituting the distinctive
achievement of human groups, including their embodiments in artifacts; the
essential core of culture consists of traditional ideas and especially their
attached values; culture systems may, on the one hand, be considered as
products of action, on the other hand, as conditioning influences upon further
action.
 Ø Culture is the sum total of the learned behavior of a group of people that
are generally considered to be the tradition of that people and are transmitted
from generation to generation.

Ø Culture is a collective programming of the mind that distinguishes the

members of one group or category of people from another.

● Culture iceberg:

A useful metaphor for culture is an iceberg. ... It has some aspects that are
visible and many others that can only be suspected, guessed, or learned as
you grow to understand cultures. Like an iceberg, the visible part of culture is
only a small part of a much larger whole.

According to the Iceberg Model of Culture, behaviors often follow a pattern.

Finding patterns can make it easier to work together or bring about change.

For example, an organization's employees are late every day, but the team
leader can't understand why.

● Intercultural communication:

Intercultural communication is a discipline that studies communication across

different cultures and social groups, or how culture affects communication. It
describes the wide range of communication processes and problems that
naturally appear within an organization or social context made up of individuals
from different religious, social, ethnic, and educational backgrounds. In this
sense, it seeks to understand how people from different countries and cultures
act, communicate and perceive the world around them.

(Ex): A Christian converses with a Muslim.

▫ A woman receives an order from a man.

▫ An American and African share their views.

▫ A Chinese politician's discussion with an American leader

B.Different between Vietnamese culture and others.

Vietnam is located in the marine center. This is one of the main reasons for
making Viet Nam affiliate with other countries easily. However, the differences
still last. Understanding them is a very important thing. It helps us to avoid
cultural shocks.

For example, this is the list of basic differences between Western culture and
eastern culture as well as Vietnamese culture:

HOW TO SHOW LOVE?

The Western: Males and females can hold hands or kiss each other in public
places. This is very ordinary for surrounding people and nobody notices that.
Close friends can kiss on cheeks or kiss lightly on the lips. A couple can also
kiss in front of their children.

The Vietnamese: People rarely see male and females kissing each other in
public places. If they did so, other people would stare at them. For a male and a
female, touching bodies with each other is limited, even to closest friends.
People think that it results in both of the friends loving each other. Parents do
not also kiss each other in front of their children. They do not also kiss their old
children. However, they love and are faithful to each other.

HOW TO CELEBRATE PARTIES AND

FESTIVALS?
The Western: Christmas and the lunar new year are the most important
celebrations in a year. Families usually go on a holiday far from home or only
gather around together to eat and drink. For Western people, birthdays and
weddings are the most important occasions in life. These days, connected
people gather to sing, dance, offer gifts and have a snack party. On wedding
days, the Western people usually organize a snack party. They seldom receive
lucky money.

The Vietnamese:

The lunar new year holiday or Tet is the most important festival in a year. A
few years before Tet, Vietnamese families clean and decorate their houses.
During Tet holiday, they enjoy special foods for Tet such as square sticky rice
cakes, dried fruits. Family members who live apart gather and celebrate Tet
together. In Vietnam, death anniversary is celebrated more solemnly than a
birthday party.
On these occasions, relatives gather and enjoy meals together. They share
memories and stories about the dead and their good characters. The wedding
ceremony is very financial, including many sections. There are usually two
main ceremonies: engagement and wedding. When getting engaged, the
groom’s family brings the gold and trays of fruits, cakes, wine, tea to the bride’s
family to ask for a wedding. At the wedding, the groom’s family goes to the
bride’s family to receive the bride. The people who participate in the wedding
party have to give the couple lucky money.

HOW TO EAT AND DRINK?

The Western: The Western people don't spend too much time cooking. They
usually buy some food for the week because they are busy at work. Most of
them are Christians, so they pray before eating. The food doesn’t have a lot of
condiments. Knives, spoons, forks are things that are usually on the table. Most
of the foods are dry and cold. The dishes are eaten using plates and spoons.
Western people only have dinner as the main meal, families gather around the
dining table. Foods are divided equally to every family member. And they don’t
cause rustles while eating. Popular foods show Southeastern Asia’s cuisine
culture.

The Vietnamese: Vietnamese people usually buy products at traditional

markets or supermarkets daily. Therefore, they always eat fresh foods. Cooks
have to spend so much time on processing because the food has a lot of
condiments. It is usually acrid and hot. This is a common characteristic of
Southeastern Asia and Northeastern Asia. Vietnamese people usually eat with
chopsticks. Spoons and food are put in plates and large bowls and the same tray.
This shows the community culture of Vietnamese people thousands of years
before. Before eating, the young have to invite the old. The young don't eat until
the old do. When eating people usually cause rustles because the foods are acrid
and hot.

HOW TO GREET?
The Western: Western people usually greet somebody with joined hands.
Females can also do, too. This shows equality between males and females.
Close friends can kiss on cheeks or kiss on lips slightly. They wave hands to
greet the others even the older. And clapping on the back slightly to connected
people is normal.

The Vietnamese: Male and female are rarely seen joining hands with each
other. The young don’t actively join hands with the old but wait for this action
from them. When joining hands they only hold rather enough and not too long,
using both hands and bend the head slightly. Women don’t usually join hands
with each other. Friends never give kisses to each other. The old can kiss young
children. They can wave hands to call young children And friends can also do
so. Clapping on the back slightly is only agreed for close friends. When going
into the house of a Vietnamese family, you have to greet the oldest first, then
greet from the old to the young.

Those are only some of the most basic differences in the spirit, feeling, eating
and drinking, and greeting between Vietnamese and the Western people.
Besides, there are many other differences. Understanding much about
differences between Western culture and Vietnamese culture helps us have
many friends.

C2

Handshaking in introduction

A handshake is a globally widespread, brief greeting or tradition in which

two people grasp one of each other's hands.

Using the right hand is generally considered proper etiquette.

· There are a few really important aspects to shaking hands :

1-standing up

2-touching the web of the other's hand

3-giving a firm grip

4-shaking the entire time both of you introduce yourselves

5-using eye contact

6-smiling à warmer, friendly

7-good body language

8-mentioning first and last name clear and slowly

Customs surrounding handshakes are specific to cultures.

Different cultures may be more or less likely to shake hands.

Examples :

+ In the US, a traditional handshake is firm, executed with the right hand,
with good posture and eye contact.

+ In some countries such as Turkey or the Arabic-speaking Middle East,

handshakes are not as firm as in the West. Consequently, a grip that is too
firm is very rude.

+ In Anglophone countries, handshaking is common in business situations.

In casual non-business situations, men are more likely to shake hands than
women.

+ In Switzerland, it may be expected to shake the women's hand first.

Each culture has its own customs for shaking hands in introduction.

C3

● Verbal communication

-Verbal communication is the sharing of information between individuals by

using speech. In other words, it is the communication which uses spoken words
to communicate a message.

- Improving your verbal communication skills can help you to foster better
relationships with your coworkers, friends …

-Verbal communication has many purposes, but its main function is relaying a
message to one or more recipients. it encompasses everything from simple one-
syllable sounds to complex discussions and relies on both language and emotion
to produce the desired effect.
- Verbal communication can be used to inform, inquire, argue and discuss topics
of all kinds.

Different cultures have different rules governing speech patterns

Individuals in every culture have similar basic needs but express them
differently

For instance, not all languages use silence and interruption in the same way

Many people interpret silence in a conversation to mean disapproval,

disagreement, or unsuccessful communication. They try to fill silence by saying
something even if they have nothing to say. On the other hand, they don’t
appreciate a person who dominates a conversation.

● Interruption in a conversation

Interrupting someone who is speaking is considered rude in many cultures.

Japanese

- Each participant waits politely for a turn and know exactly when the
time is right to speak

- One’s turn depends on status, age and the relationship to the other

- Answers to the questions are carefully thought out, rather than blurted
out

- Some say Americans ask too many questions and do not give others
enough time to formulate a careful answer.

Australians and Americans

- Feel uncomfortable with even two or three seconds of silence.

- Consider Asian speaker too passive and uninterested in a

conversation

For example: “He's so handsome, but I’m too shy. Anyway, I’m a beautiful
Eastern girl.”

● Ways to politely interrupt a conversation

- Have a specific purpose: whether you are jumping into other people’s
conversation or you’re stopping someone’s monologue, it’s essential that you
have a reason for doing it and the ability to relay that to the person talking. State
the purpose as briefly as possible.

-Be as polite as possible : always speak politely and start the conversation with
a polite introduction to your interruption. Some things you might say include,”
Excuse me”, “I need to say something here”, “ Do you mind if I interrupt?”…

-Keep a noticeable distance when interrupting someone else’s conversation. If

you walk right up to the person who is chatting, it may appear that you want to
simply listen. Stand back a bit as you make eye contact to show that being part
of their conversation isn’t what you want.

C4.

4. Verbal and non- verbal communication (definition, effectiveness…)

(1) Definition :

-Verbal communication is a form of communication in which you use

words to interchange the information with other people either in the form
of speech or writing.

-Non-verbal communication is usually understood as the process of

communication through sending and receiving wordless messages. Such
messages can be communicated through gesture; body language or
posture; facial expression and eye contact; object communication such as
clothing, hairstyles or even architecture; symbols and infographics.

(2) Key Differences Between Verbal and Nonverbal Communication

:

The following points explain the difference between verbal and non-verbal
communication in detail:
 1. The use of words in communication is Verbal communication. The
communication which is based on signs, not on words is Non-verbal
communication.

2. There are very fewer chances of confusion in verbal communication

between the sender and receiver. Conversely, the chances of
misunderstanding and confusion in non-verbal communication are very
high as the use of language is not done.

3. In verbal communication, the interchange of the message is very fast

which leads to rapid feedback. In opposition to this, the non-verbal
communication is based more on understanding which takes time and
hence it is comparatively slow.

4. In verbal communication, the presence of both the parties at the place of

communication is not necessary, as it can also be done if the parties are at
different locations. On the other hand, for an effective non-verbal
communication, both the parties must be there, at the time of
communication.

5. In verbal communication, the documentary evidence is maintained if

the communication is formal or written. But, there is no conclusive
evidence in case of non-verbal communication.

6. Verbal communication fulfils the most natural desire of humans – talk.

In the case of Non-verbal communication, feelings, status, emotions,
personality, etc are very easily communicated, through the acts done by the
parties to the communication.

(3) Effectiveness of using :

a. verbal communication :

· Verbal communication helps us define reality.

· Verbal communication helps us organize complex ideas and
experiences into meaningful categories.
· Verbal communication helps us think.
 · Verbal communication helps us shape our attitudes about our
world.

b. Non-verbal communication :

1. Reinforcement :
This function means that you can use nonverbal communication to
duplicate and support a verbal message. This function makes a
spoken message more clear to avoid misunderstandings.

2. Substitution :

There are times when nonverbal communication is enough to send

a message. It can be more expressive and meaningful than words.
In many cases, it’s easier to do and understand. Also, it can be
performed in various ways, so it’s a versatile communication tool.
Nonverbal communication also substitutes words when dealing
with heightened emotions. When receiving great news, you often
leap in happiness rather than saying, “I’m so happy.” When you get
hurt, you will find yourself speechless but in tears. When
something shocks you, your body responds with a dropped jaw.
You won’t even be able to say a word.

3. Contradiction :
Verbal and nonverbal communication are two sides of the same
coin. But, they sometimes send opposite messages. This is where
the contradiction function comes in. It results in mixed messages.
You’ve probably heard people tell you that you look terrible; but,
they look at you as if you’re a beautiful painting. That means that
they’re just teasing you, and they think you’re gorgeous.

4. Accentuation :
The accentuation function is like an upgrade to the reinforcement
function. To accentuate means to put emphasis on something.
While the reinforcement function supports the meaning of your
words, the accentuation function adds intensity or power to them.
5. Regulation :
The last part of the 5 functions of nonverbal communication can
also be used to regulate the flow of our conversations. The
regulation function helps us take turns in speaking, without using
any words, so we don’t interrupt others. It helps us send signals
when we want a response or when we’re done talking and want
someone else to talk. We can use paralanguage, gestures, and eye
contact for this function.

(4) Differences between Vietnam and others ( America,...)

1. Verbal communication :
· In Vietnam :
The official language of Vietnam is Vietnamese, which has three mutually
intelligible dialects: Northern, Central and Southern. The dialects often
vary in tone and pronunciation. Vietnamese vowels have six distinctive
tones, five of which are indicated by a diacritic placed over or under the
vowel to show different ways of pronunciation, and the unaccented vowel
remains unchanged in the voice.

The changes in tones also create the changes in meaning. For example, the
word “ma” without tone has the meaning of “ghost”; “ma” pronounced
with a raising tone means “mother”; “ma” with its falling tone means
“that''; “ma” with its questioning tone means “tomb”; “ma” with its falling
then rising tone means “horse”, and “ma” with its weighing tone means “a
new rice plant”. Other languages spoken in Vietnam include English,
Chinese, French, and numerous languages of Vietnamese ethnic minority
groups in mountainous areas.

In verbal communication, Vietnamese people highly value formality,

respect and interpersonal harmony. It is said that respect is the cornerstone
of interpersonal relationships in Vietnamese society. To avoid signs of
disrespect, especially with people of higher status, Vietnamese probably
don’t express their disagreement. Instead, they often keep silent or reply
indirectly. In seeking to prevent conflict in relationships, Vietnamese often
prefer to speak about sensitive subjects, such as politics and sex indirectly.
Besides, Vietnamese people always use Mr. or Ms or a title plus the first
name when greeting others to address people formally and respectfully.
Although Vietnamese may nod and use the word “yes” or “ya” to express
respect and indicate that they are listening attentively, this does not
necessarily show their understanding and agreement.

· In other countries :

American culture is more accepted in Britain or the United States. Touch is

the earliest sense to develop in the fetus. It Is important to talk to recognize
a sauna in a different country, even to disguise the true feelings of others.
Like your other component of non verbal communication eye contact or
purpose study one eye related movement is highly culture bound. My brain
allows you to face differently. Similarly, picking, when we need to be fluent
in several second languages. She tells him about one nearby where clients
can come and go and have visitors. The plans may be formal or informal, in
American culture, so does the language the members speak. The
implications, disgust, and may be difficult to assess or gauge effectively.
Culture and Germans' faces in different cultures rely on the cia world of.
They may acquire to stand closer to the card people desire, feel perfectly
comfortable in crowds, extending a stash to poverty, one who has been
offended, and cannot guarantee the accuracy or suitability of its permit for
each particular purpose. What has been. For the native speakers, honesty
and approachability. In verbal strategies are examples, we are universally,
he tries nothing in communication is apparent through observing adults. In
our reactions and depending on different cultures, language borrow words
and emotional expression.

2. Non-verbal communication : Viet Nam and others ( America,…)

Gestures :

Impossible to catalog them all. But I need to recognize: 1) incredible

possibility and variety and 2) that what is acceptable in one’s own culture
may be offensive in another. In addition, the amount of gesturing varies
from culture to culture. Some cultures are animated; others restrained.
Restrained cultures often feel animated cultures lack manners and overall
restraint. Animated cultures often feel restrained cultures lack emotion or
interest.

Even simple things like using hands to point and count differ.
- In US:

Americans will often wave to another person and then turn to make a hand
scoop inward; or raise the index finger ) palm toward one's face, and make
a "curling " motion with that finger means to beckon or summon another
person.

Arm raised and the open hand "waggles" back and forth means Signaling
"hello" or "good-bye." Or trying to get someone's attention. Palm facing
out with the index and middle fingers displayed in the shape of a "V."-
"Victory" or "peace."

Thumb and forefinger form a circle with the other three fingers splayed
upward; it is used frequently and enthusiastically. "O.K." meaning "fine"
or "yes."

Thumb up with a close fist means support or approval, "O.K." or "Good

Going!" or "Good job!"

Fist raised with index finger and little finger extended. Texas rallying call
"hook 'em horns." Baseball meaning "two outs."
Extend the forefinger and make a circular motion near the temple or ear.
Something or someone is "crazy."
- In Viet Nam:

Custom of shaking hands is the customary form of greeting, but often a nod
of the head or slight bow is sufficient.

Waving hands is not really common with old people in Viet Nam, but
opposite to young people , waving hands is a very common and friendly
way when saying goodbye to their friends.

Thumb and forefinger form a circle with the other three fingers splayed
upward also used by Vietnamese people to give signals or it means "good",
"great"…

"V" showed by forefinger and middle finger mean "victory" or "hi",

"hello"

General Appearance and Dress :

All cultures are concerned for how they look and make judgements based
on looks and dress.
- In America:

Americans appear almost obsessed with dress and personal attractiveness.

Consider differing cultural standards on what is attractive in dress and on
what constitutes modesty. Attending a wedding, Women like to wear
bright or colourful dresses. Popularly, Men choose complex. Americans
often wear dark or black stuff when they take part in a funeral.
- In Viet Nam:

There are 54 ethnic groups in Viet Nam. Each of them have their own dress
style, for instance, women of Gia Rai group usually wear nothing but a
small skirt, and men would take just a loin-cloth to go on any occasion. On
special times like tet days, The H'Mông girls wear a shirt, undergarments,
leggings and put on a coiled scarf on their head. Their skirts are usually in
cone shape with lots of folds that enhance their gentleness.People of the
subgroups in the Dao minority share many similarities while at the same
time are a little bit distinct from each other. Girls in the Dao Đỏ (Red Dao)
keep their hair long and fold them around their heads covered with a red
cloth. They wear indigo dresses embroidered with decorations in red…

In wedding Kinh ethnic (Viet people) wear bright clothes and bless bride
and groom happily. In contrast, Vietnameses often dress in dark or black
stuff at one's funeral to show their respect to the dead and sympathy with
the dead's family members. Dead's son/daughters wear a weeper on their
forehead and a small long white cloth to go into mourning their dad/mom
or grandmother/ father.

Posture :

Consider the following actions and note cultural differences:

- In America : Bowing :
American people do not bow to their partner because in American culture
bowing is a sign of submission, the admission that another person is
superior to you. But in contrast Vietnamese young people usually bow to
older people when greeting, expressing respect to old people. Sitting with
legs crossed .
- In Viet Nam
It is acceptable to sit with your legs crossed when you meet your friends or
peers. Eventually, in a meal including young and old people, guys can sit
with legs crossed, it's acceptable. To Americans, male sit crosses at the
ankles; rest of one leg on top of the knee of the other leg; some cross the
legs at the knees, female sit crosses the legs at the knees; crosses the legs at
the knees and curls the upper foot around the calf of the lower leg.

Facial Expressions :

While some say that facial expressions are identical, meaning attached to
them differs. Majority opinion is that these do have similar meanings
world-wide with respect to smiling, crying, or showing anger, sorrow, or
disgust. However, the intensity varies from culture to culture. Note the
following:
- In Viet Nam: People exaggerate grief or sadness.
- In the U.S: Most American men hide grief or sorrow.

Eye Contact and Gaze :

- In USA:
Eye contact indicates: degree of attention or interest, influences attitude
change or persuasion, regulates interaction, communicates emotion, defines
power and status, and has a central role in managing impressions of others.

American children are taught to look others directly in the eyes when
greeting and conversing. If not, it means shyness or weakness. African-
Americans use more eye contact when talking and less when listening with
reverse true for Anglo Americans. This is a possible cause for some sense
of unease between races in the US. A prolonged gaze is often seen as a sign
of sexual interest.
- In Viet Nam:

Direct eye contact and staring is uncommon in those areas accustomed to

foreign visitors. However, in smaller communities, visitors may be the
subject of much curiosity and therefore you may notice some stares. But
when speaking face to face to a person, you should use direct eyes to show
your respect and truthfulness.

Touch :

Question: Why do we touch, where do we touch, and what meanings do we

assign when someone else touches us?

Basic answer: Touch is culturally determined! But each culture has a

clear concept of what parts of the body one may not touch. Basic message
of touch is to affect or control — protect, support, disapprove (i.e. hug,
kiss, hit, kick).
- In U.S:

Handshakes are common (even for strangers) in the U.S. Shake hands are a
polite way of greeting. At an early age they are taught to do so with a firm,
solid grip When greeting one another.

Giving hugs, kisses for members of family or relatives or friends is on an

increasingly more intimate basis.

Native Hawaiians hug and exchange breaths in a custom called "aha."

Most African Americans touch on greeting but are annoyed if touched on

the head (good boy, good girl overtones). Americans see that is very weird
if people of the same sex hold hands in public places. Personal space
becomes much larger; people are not as comfortable when others stand
close to them, especially if they are not very well acquainted.
- In Viet Nam:

Touching one's head means impolite but with children that action expresses
encouragement. But a special reason is Asians' thought Head houses the
soul and a touch puts it in jeopardy. Hugging and kissing when greeting are
uncommon. Especially, in public it's unacceptable to display affection like a
kiss or hug or any action that is too affectionate. People of the same sex
may be seen holding hands in public places, which is simply a gesture of
friendship. If 2 people meet for the first time they keep the disdain not too
far but not so closely. But when 2 people are friends or relatives , they
stand close or touch each other. Cultures (English , German, Scandinavian,
Chinese, Japanese) with high emotional restraint concepts have little public
touch; those which encourage emotion (Latino, Middle-East, Jewish) accept
frequent touches.

C5

Ways to initiate and maintain conversation in verbal

communication

Effective listening is vital for good verbal communication. There are a number of
ways that you can ensure that you listen more effectively. These include:

· Be prepared to listen. Concentrate on the speaker, and not on how you are
going to reply.

· Keep an open mind and avoid making judgements about the speaker.

· Concentrate on the main direction of the speaker’s message. Try to

understand broadly what they are trying to say overall, as well as the detail of the
words that they are using.

· Avoid distractions if at all possible. For example, if there is a lot of

background noise, you might suggest that you go somewhere else to talk.

· Be objective.

· Do not be trying to think of your next question while the other person is
giving information.
 · Do not dwell on one or two points at the expense of others. Try to use the
overall picture and all the information that you have.

· Do not stereotype the speaker. Try not to let prejudices associated with, for
example, gender, ethnicity, accent, social class, appearance or dress interfere
with what is being said

C6.

Eye-contact in non-verbal communication:

- Eyes contact is one of the most important non- verbal channels to
communicate and connect with other people.
- It goes back and forth between those individuals who are engaged in
a discussion dialogue or chat.
- Eyes are not only the “window to the soul”,
- They also answer the critical questions when you are trying to
connect.
- Different cultures have different eye-contact:
- Example:
• In Vietnam, people avoid direct eye contact because it expresses
defiance.
• In Japan, Japanese lower their eyes when speaking to a superior as a
gesture of respect.

C7

1. Space in non-verbal communication

- The amount of space changes depending on the interpersonal relationship

- Personality determines the size of this space

- Cultural styles are important for space in nonverbal communication

- Space also varies based upon the occasion

- The distance between communicators typically helps us identify the type of

relationship they have

- Four “zones,” or distances, starting with “intimate” distance, ranging

between 0 and 18 inches

+ “ 0”, or skin contact. This is the distance used for romantic partners

and very close or your “core” family members

+ 4 feet creates personal distance. Your extended family members and

close friends are allowed to enter this zone

+ 4 to 12 feet, is often used for acquaintances and colleagues

+ beyond 12 feet is classified as public distance, often used in public

speaking situations and with strangers you want to maintain your distance from

2. Clothing in non-verbal communication

- Uniforms have both a functional and a communicative purpose

- People wear clothes for functional and/or social reasons. Protective clothing
for the body; it also conveys social messages to others. Social messages sent by
clothing, accessories and ornaments can relate to social status, occupation,
ethnicity and religion, marital status…

- Clothing can also represent disagreement with cultural norms and mainstream
beliefs, as well as individual independence.

- Elements such as physique, height, weight, hair, skin color, gender, odors, and
clothing send non-verbal messages during interaction

• In many cultures, such as East Asia and Nigeria, it is respectful not to

look the dominant person in the eye…
C8

Directness and indirectness in verbal communication

Directness Indirectness
People say what they mean and People don’t always say what they
mean what they say mean or mean exactly what they
say

There is no need to read between You have to read between the lines
the lines

It’s best to tell it like it is You can’t always tell it like it is( in
order not to upset the other person)

People are less likely to imply and People are more likely to suggest
more likely to say exactly what or imply than to come out and say
they are thinking. what they think

Yes means yes Yes may mean maybe or even no

Example:

- Americans are direct.

- Honesty and frankness are more important to Americans than “

saving face”

- People strongly emphasize directness rather than indirectness in

verbal interaction.

+ “ Don’t beat around the bush”

+ “ Let’s get down to business”

+ “ Get to the point”

- One way to determine whether a culture favors a direct or indirect

style in communication is to find out how the people in that culture
 express disagreements, refusals or how they say “ No”. In some Oriental
cultures, including Vietnamese culture, it would be considered rude to
say directly: “ I disagree with you” or “ you are wrong” in formal
situations.

- In America, it is direct, informal and at times confrontational. The

directness encourages Americans to talk over disagreements and to try
to patch up misunderstandings themselves.

- But in Vietnamese, “ Bitter pills may have blessed effects” – Thuốc

đắng giã tật, sự thật mất lòng

- Compared to Vietnamese, people in English speaking countries

strongly emphasize directness rather than indirectness in verbal
interaction.

C9

In the United States, small talk is a big part of everyday life. Most
conversations, even with friends, family members, and colleagues will start with
some kind of pleasantry, ranging from “How was your day?” to “What’s up,
man?”

Even with strangers, they’re likely to strike up a conversation about something

trivial, like the weather or sports

In Asia, thoroughly enjoy exchanging pleasantries of small talk.

The people in Asia are normally less “I have a personal space bubble, get away
from me, but I’ll smile at you anyway and say a diplomatic hello” and more like
“did you gain weight, yes you gained weight, here’s how to eat to not gain
weight, and how is your marriage, are you kids doing well in school, my kids
are total idiots, and boy
Talk about boring topics if you wish, like weather and clothes, but prepare for
the above, and don’t be offended!

To western people who travel to Vn, Vietnamese are less likely strive up to
make a small talk people will assume there’s a language barrier and not try,
unless they’re very enthusiastic about practicing their English.

If you initiate small talk in English, people who aren’t shy about their language
abilities or who are naturally social butterflies will gladly chat with you a bit,
but the number of people who will be comfortable with that is relatively small.

C10

Communication is a mix between verbal and nonverbal communication which

occurs simultaneously. But, non-verbal communication is more impactful than
verbal communication. It relates to everything that is not said. It includes among
others facial expressions, gestures, posture, tone of the voice and also
environmental factors.

All these gestures can be different and interpreted differently from one country
to another. In order to avoid misunderstandings that can lead you to
embarrassing situations, it is good to know what a specific sign means in
another culture or at least to be aware that people can interpret it in a different
way.

Visual Contact

In many countries as in the USA, Australia or UK and in Western Europe,

looking someone in the eyes during a conversation for example shows your
respect for the speaker. It reflects that the person is interested and engaged in
what is said. But on the contrary, in other cultures in Asia, eye contact is
considered as not polite and it can be disrespectful.

Handshakes

A handshake can be interpreted in many different ways. This gesture is often

done to greet someone or have a deeper meaning in politics for example.
Different methods of giving a handshake exist, it can be fast such as in France
or much longer such as in China or in some Arabic countries. Another important
aspect is the strength that is put into the gesture. A “firm handshake”
corresponds to the typical handshake showing confidence, a “bone crusher”
means that the person tries to crush the hand of the other person, a “finger
handshake”: the person catches only the fingers of the other person’s hand and a
“dead fish” corresponds to an indifferent and passive handshake.

All these ways to give a handshake can be interpreted differently according to

the people and their cultures. For example, a “firm handshake” in the United
States is considered as polite but the same handshake can be interpreted as a
“bone crusher” in Japan.

In France, it is possible to give a quick and light handshake in every

professional and private situation but if you know the person, people will
generally give a kiss on both cheeks. While in the United States, handshakes are
more reserved to professional situations, in personal situations, people will
generally just orally greet the other person.

In most Asian countries, avoid looking at people in the eyes while you give a
handshake, as it is considered impolite.

Personal Space

Everyone has a physical space, it corresponds to a space that we need around us

to feel safe and where any threat to our “personal bubble” would make us
uncomfortable. In the USA, it is more important for people to preserve their
“vital space” and to have a certain distance between each other during a
conversation. On the contrary, in Brazil and in Southern Europe for example,
talking close and touching each other while they are talking is considered as
normal. What can be a violation of the personal space in one country can simply
be a sign of friendliness in another culture.

Some hand and finger signals can also have a different meaning according from
where you come from. Here are some interpreting differences of signs from one
culture to another.

American Sign For “OK”

The gesture with the thumb and index finger forming a circle with the hand
raised can be considered as vulgar in many South American countries and
especially in Brazil. As a side note, while Richard Nixon was visiting Rio de
Janeiro, he did the “OK” sign in front of a crowd, who responded to him with
boos!
Horn Fingers

During rock festivals or concerts, this frequently used and specially in the USA.
But, in many Mediterranean and Latin countries, such sign is as Argentina,
Brazil, Colombia, Cuba, Spain, Italy and Portugal, making this sign at someone
is a way to tell them that their spouse is cheating on him/her.

The “V” Sign

In the United States, this gesture means “victory” and “peace”. It was developed
against the Vietnam War by activists in favour for peace. But, in other places,
such as in the UK, Australia and South Africa, the same gesture with the back
of the hand facing the other person is considered to be an extremely insulting.

The American “Goodbye”

This sign with a flat hand waving can be considered as a “No” in many parts of
Europe and Latin America.

The Crossed Fingers

In Australia, UK, USA or Canada and in some Europeans countries, it means

that you wish good luck to someone else. On the contrary, in Vietnam, they
consider that it resembles to female genitals, considered as obscene.

The Point

In a lot of European countries as Belgium, Germany, France, Austria or

Netherlands, it means the number “2”. But in China, it means the number “8”
and in Italy it means that something is not good.

The Thumb In A Fist

In Australia, UK or Canada, it is a common playful gesture by adults towards

children pretending to have stolen their noises. But in Turkey, it is interpreted as
a rude and aggressive gesture.

Nodding Head
In many countries, nodding your head means generally that you approve
something as a “Yes”. But for Bulgarians and Greeks for example it means
exactly the contrary, it has a negative signification.
 C11

· Topic 11: Ways to make introductions in different cultures

First impressions are really important. Introducing yourself and others in

the correct way is fraught with various do's and don'ts of etiquette.

- The same point

+ Eye contact: Eyes are not only the "window to the soul", they also
answer the critical questions when you are trying to connect. A certain
amount of eye contact is required, but too much look makes many
people uncomfortable. A few notes when making eye contact: don’t look
very deeply into the other person’s eyes, don’t avoid looking at the
people you are speaking to.

- Cultural Variations in Introductions

+ Styles of introductions

*In the Western and in other parts of the World use handshaking:
Handshaking is a polite gesture indicating friendship and acceptance(In
an informal situation you may see social kissing, this is acceptable
between men and women and also between women who know each
other very well, but it is rare that you will see two British men kissing,
even if it is only on the cheek). Handshaking is now an activity practiced
by both men and women not only to greet one another, but to seal a
contrast as well. Each country has different ways of shaking hands and
the way of handshaking is very important in cultural communication, so
we should know the custom of the partner to make it correctly.
*In Asia such as Korea, Japan, India….bowing the head to show
respect. The first bow of the day should be lower than when meeting
thereafter. In Thailand, they clap their hands to pay one’s respects to
somebody.

2. Difference between greeting culture of Vietnamese people

compared to other countries

While in Vietnam - an Asian country, the social hierarchy is quite

important, greetings also become more complicated depending on the
relationship. Younger people must know how to greet when meeting
older people, and at the same time,children will be accompanied by a
gesture of folding their arms and bowing their heads; When meeting
business partners, friends and colleagues often greet each other with a
handshake. When meeting, you should address the right person
according to your rank or age.

C12: INTIVATIONS

- In English someone might say something that sounds like an

invitation but that never results in an actual meeting with another
person. Of course, there are invitations that require definite
commitments.
 - when people make invitations, they prefer to know the response
immediately:

Agree : “Yes, I can come”

Disagree: “No, I can't come”

- It is considered better to refuse graciously than to accept an

invitation and not go.

- Invitations can be divided into two kinds:

+ Indefinite invitations: No specific mention of time or place is made. The

speakers do not come to an agreement as to when they will get together.

+ Definite invitations: These invitations include yes/no questions which

require specific agreements. They both mention a time and a place.

On the other hand, definite invitations are formal invitations. They are
always written, including a formal dinner, charity ball, formal wedding,
business or social formal celebration.

INVITATIONS IN DIFFERENT CULTURES

- In the West, both the husband and wife will usually be included in
social invitations for dinner in the evening. While in Vietnam, it's quite
common for only the husband or wife to be invited to a meal with
colleagues or friends.

- In the west, they don't want to explain in detail when they decline an
invitation. While in Vietnam, they will give a reason to decline the
invitation. It is considered respectful to the invitee. They will even
coerce by saying: “I will try to attend”
C13. Friendship, friend circles and mobility in friendship.

1. Friendship.

· Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. It is a stronger

form of interpersonal bond than an association, and has been studied in
academic fields such as communication, sociology, social psychology,
anthropology, and philosophy.

· A friend may or may not be a person to whom there is a great attachment. A

friend might be a casual acquaintance or an intimate companion. Friends may
have known each other since childhood or they may have recently met.

· Enduring friendships develop when individuals have similar interests and a

common outlook on life.

· It is easy to be misled by instant friendships which may appear to be deep and

personal but are really superficial.

· Friendship and friendliness are not synonymous. Friendliness characterizes

much of the daily interaction but is not always an indication of friendship.

2. Friend circles.

· Circle of friends is an approach to enhancing the inclusion, in a mainstream

setting, of any young person ( known as ‘the focus child’), who is experiencing
difficulties in school because of a disability, personal crisis or because of their
challenging behaviour towards others.

· There are many different “friend circles,” such as you in church, you work, or
you play sports.

· A person may choose not to involve members of different circles in the same
activity.

· Friends in friend circle A may never meet friends in friend circle B and vice
versa.

· People have different types of friends: one may have many good friends and
one best friend. “Best friends” are usually two people of the same sex who have
known each other for a long period of time.
· People usually have more casual friends than close or best friends.

3. Mobility in friendship.

· The Americans are geographically mobile and learn to develop friendships

easily and quickly.

· People relocate because they begin new jobs, attend distant colleges, get
married, have children or simply want a change in their lives. Perhaps as a
consequence of this, people form and end friendships quickly.

· Students attending two or three universities during their undergraduate and

graduate years may change their circles of friends several times.

4. Difference in friendship between Vietnam and other countries.

· Like in other countries, friendship in Vietnam is constructed and developed on

the basis of mutual understanding, sympathy and trust.

· The definition of friendship in Vietnam is quite different from that in other

countries, especially in North America and Western cultures.

· For Vietnamese, an acquaintance could not be called a friend. Friendship is

supposed to be built step by step.

· When Vietnamese people call you their friend, it is more than just that they
know you, you know them and they will say “hi” or “how is it going” whenever
you see each other. As your friends, they actually care about you, about your
family, your work and your living conditions.

· Bumping into you on the street, they would certainly bombard you with a ton
of questions about your present life and you may find it annoying as they seem
to be so nosy about your personal life. Yet, it is the way Vietnamese care about
you as a friend.

· Moreover, while western people often hug and kiss to greet their friends,
Vietnamese people rarely make physical touch, especially when their friends are
of the opposite gender. In fact, some Vietnamese may consider it an indecent
act, so do not do that to your Vietnamese friends unless you know them very
well.
· Also, when hanging out, you perhaps find it uncomfortable when your
Vietnamese friend insists on paying the total bill. Take it easy. You could treat
him another time. It is a Vietnamese pleasure to treat their friend to a meal or
have him/her over for a family occasion.

Câu 14:

Male -female relationship

Three typical types of male-female relationships marriage

Friendship.

Platonic Friendship

-Man and Woman become friends through sharing common interests and
values. -- --They may be close friends and share personal problems with
each other without being romantically involved

"Friends with Benefits"

Sometimes a man and woman in a platonic friendship add sexual activities

to their relationship, resulting in a "friends with benefits" arrangement.

For two friends who want sexual fulfillment without the hassles of a
commitment, this can be a fun and rewarding type of relationship.

Dating

- Dating is often based on a personal decision in America rather than

driven by the influence of parents and arranged marriages

- it is quite common for two lovers to decide to move to live together in the
US. Americans are ready to take responsibility and take their decisions
completely seriously. .
-Americans are generally quite fond of showing affection to their loved
ones in public.

-independence is an important part of dating customs in the United States.

Marriage

marriage is the state of being united as spouses in a consensual and

contractual relationship recognized by law and an act of marrying or the
rite by which the married status is effected
differences in marriage culture in the US and Vietnam

-Americans

- get married later

-there are still cases where two people love each other and have children
together but still may not be married.

-parents are not too involved in their children's love.couples are free to
make decisions in life, including in matters of love and marriage.

-Husband and wife are equal after marriage.they share housework and
childcare together

Vietnamese

-tend to get married early

- consider marriage important and necessary

- marriage is sometimes influenced by parents

-after marriage ,husbands go to work to earn money,the wife's stay at home

to do housework and take care of children

Ý 2 :Intercultural Friendship
In this era of globalization, people are traveling across geographical,
national, and cultural boundaries as never before. For many, establishing
relationships with persons different from ourselves can be challenging and
rewarding

The Pros of Intercultural Friendship

-stronger language skills

-better academic performance

-Greater life satisfaction

-lower levels of stress

-more positive mood

-enhanced perception of the host culture

-enhanced image of the host institution

The challenges in intercultural relationships

-Cultural differences

-Negative Stereotypes

-Motivation

In UNITED STATE

- Americans may not always be the first ones to begin friendships

- absence of fixed rules governing

- statements such as ‘i miss you are not meant literally ( are only verbiage)

-Lower in duration and obligation

In VIETNAM

- Vietnamese are friendly and open

- It is easy to initiate contact

- There are many Vietnamese people who can communicate fluently in
english and other languages

- Use intercultural friendship to improve language skills