7 Ways to Get the Kids Off the Couch This Summer

If you start the season with good intentions (chores! books! fresh air!), only to find your child camped out in
front of YouTube, read these fun ideas about summer activities for kids.

Every June, I have the best of intentions: I'm going to keep the kids on a schedule. They're going to do more chores and read more books.
We're going to take a family bike ride or walk every day, preferably in the cool of the morning. We'll be closer than ever.

And by the time the Fourth of July rolls around, things have usually slid out of control. The kids are sleeping in way past breakfast, lounging
in front of the TV (or YouTube), and texting the afternoons away. It usually starts with a soft-hearted moment on my part ("They need a
break after the school year — I'll let them sleep in today"), but quickly turns into a pattern. And since I'm still busy — with work, laundry,
etc. — I sidestep my guilt and let them veg.

It's a common problem. By the middle school years, kids are too old to play Monopoly or go to town camp all day, but not old enough to
drive or have real summer jobs. Though children may beg for "free time," it's not in anyone's best interest to let them achieve total
slackerdom. "Tweens and teens often believe they'd just love to have weeks of 'doing nothing,'" says Annie Fox, M.Ed., author of the Middle
School Confidential series. "But the reality rarely matches the daydream. Kids get bored, and, like puppies, bored kids often get into stuff
they shouldn't." They also fall behind academically (more on that later). And, to be honest, we parents often have unrealistic, Norman
Rockwell-like notions about bonding with our kids; we put an awful lot of pressure on ourselves and our kids to get closer than we are
during the busy school year, says Michael J. Bradley, Ed.D., author of Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind:
"Parents who approach summer with too many plans for bonding usually wind up feeling like they're in a Chevy Chase movie where every
thing goes wrong." But there are realistic ways to sneak some structure, learning, and — yes — family time into the summer without feeling
like a drill sergeant. Here, the smart strategies:

Get On the Same Page:

Good intentions often fizzle because kids have one set of summer goals (say, making it to the next level in Halo 3) and parents have another
goal for them (tackling all of Charles Dickens). Many struggles can be avoided, says Fox, if parents and kids sit down before school gets out
to discuss what worked in the past and then brainstorm together. "Ask questions such as: 'What was the best day/week of last summer?
Worst?'" says Fox. Point out that plans that worked were probably those that left kids and parents feeling good about themselves and one
another ("I liked biking to the pool instead of your driving me"), and that those that didn't work left everyone crabby ("I resented the mess
you made playing upstairs").

It helps to think of your kid's day like the food pyramid, suggests clinical child psychologist Joyce Cooper-Kahn, Ph.D., coauthor of Late,
Lost, and Unprepared: A Parents' Guide to Helping Children with Executive Functioning. On the bottom are the essentials: hobbies, social
time, brain work, and volunteer time; in the middle are exercise, outdoor time, and chores. Shoot for a few daily "servings" from each list —
a total of about six hours altogether, says Cooper-Kahn. Then top off the pyramid with a limited amount of video games and TV (more on
setting limits later). Remember that some activities fall into more than one category — soccer practice is exercise, and it's social — and that
even playing Wii can be physical. Your kid probably won't hit all the sections of the pyramid on any given day, and that's OK, says Cooper-
Kahn. "You're looking for overall balance, which can take a few days," she says.

Step Up the Chores

Having jobs around the house sets expectations and gives kids a sense of accomplishment. "Summer is ideal for learning responsibility,
because tweens and teens simply have more time," says Susan Kuczmarski, Ed.D., author of The Sacred Flight of the Teenager: A Parent's
Guide to Stepping Back and Letting Go. Of course, not many kids volunteer to do chores, and sometimes we parents fall into the "it's easier
to do it myself" trap.

To make sure that doesn't happen, give kids a choice so they can feel a sense of ownership, suggests Kuczmarski, and offer tasks that feel
like new privileges. For instance, I let A.J., my 12-year-old, take over lawn duties last summer; he didn't do the neatest job, but was
enthused about operating the electric lawn mower on his own.

Also give kids a choice about when they accomplish a chore, says Bradley; this appeals to their need for autonomy. "Imagine how you would
react if your spouse said, 'Take out the trash, now!'" he says. A better approach: "It would help me a lot if you'd take out the trash. When
do you think you can get it done?" You may have to give kids a time frame ("Garbage pickup is at noon, so the cans have to be out front by
then"), but dole out as little direction as possible.

Next: Summer learning activities for kids

Of course, there's also something to be said for the occasional well-placed bribe. Says family physician Jill Grimes, M.D., a mom of two
middle schoolers: "Whether it's a trip to the yogurt shop or a new sports accessory, you can use that as a carrot." And if one of Dr. Grimes's
daughters asks, "Can I go to my friend's house today?" she replies, "Absolutely — as soon as your room is clean."

Another tip: Avoid what Bradley calls the "chain gang" chores — those jobs that, like moving a humongous pile of gravel from the front yard
to the back, never feel done. "For kids this age, anything that can be finished in an hour is best," he says. "They're not built for delayed
gratification."

Finally, remember to praise your kid to keep the good vibes going, advises Bradley. If he tidies the kitchen (though perhaps not perfectly),
say, "It's such a pleasure to come into a clean kitchen. Thanks!"
Layer in Some Learning:

First, the scary news: Kids can fall behind in school if they slack off in the summer. "It's hard to overstate the importance of summer
learning," says Karl Alexander, Ph.D., a sociology professor at Johns Hopkins University who recently found that disadvantaged first graders
who had fewer enriching summer experiences (going to museums, visiting libraries) were two and a half years behind their more
advantaged and involved peers in reading by the end of fifth grade. By ninth grade, the gap widened to five years. Most learning loss
happened over the summer, notes Alexander; during the school year, all the kids advanced at a similar rate.

You don't have to hire a pricey tutor to keep kids on track. You can promote reading with these tactics:

 Let kids pick their own books: Last summer, A.J. got hooked on Maximum Ride, an action-packed sci-fi series I never would
have chosen for him. (My pick, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, probably would have languished under his bed.) Even if kids
gravitate to books that seem to be too easy, encourage them to read what they want, says Diane W. Frankenstein, author of
Reading Together: Everything You Need to Know to Raise a Child Who Loves to Read — they'll move on to more difficult books
when they're ready. "Kids only read for story. If they can't engage with what they're reading, they won't stick with it," she says.
 Revisit old favorites: My 15-year-old daughter, Mathilda, has read the Harry Potter series so often she has sections of each
book memorized, but that's OK, says Frankenstein: "It's like spending time with an old friend. Each time kids read an old favorite,
they see something new."
 Create a summer book club: According to James S. Kim, Ed.D., assistant professor of education at Harvard, research shows
that kids who discuss what they read actually comprehend more. And any summer learning — whether it's practicing the violin or
reviewing math facts — is more fun with a buddy, says Michele Borba, Ed.D., author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. "Set
a weekly schedule with other parents, and rotate houses," she suggests.
 Use technology to your advantage: Websites and even YouTube can encourage reading — through videos of author
interviews, for instance. Some great tween/teen sites: guysread.com (cool, boy-friendly picks), teenreads.com (tons of reviews
and info on how to start a book club), and readergirlz.com (an online book community for teen girls that has a young-adult
author in residence). Just be sure to monitor, as always, where your child clicks to on the Web.
Encourage Good Works:

Help kids to explore volunteer opportunities, from spending a couple of hours helping out at the local rec center so they can have pool
access later on to working at an animal shelter just because they love to. Look online at volunteermatch.org for local openings, or ask at
your local community centers and houses of worship.

Amp Up the Family Time:

"For many kids, bonding is usually the result of taking them out of their routine and creating an atmosphere where they have to rely on the
family for friendship and fun," says Marybeth Hicks, author of Bringing Up Geeks and a mom of four. That doesn't mean you need to go on a
two-week backpacking trip, she insists: "A few years ago, we'd head into the yard with a small DVD player and pop in a movie. It was our
own version of a drive-in, and everyone loved it."

Next: Fun ideas for family time

Also consider these other cool ideas for together time:

 Take it outside: Eating together is the ultimate way to bond, says Barbara Fiese, Ph.D., professor of human and community
development at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Fiese recently led a study that showed that tweens who ate
regularly with their families had healthier weight levels and sleep patterns and a better quality of life. Why not eat alfresco one or
two nights a week? Even the most cynical teens enjoy picnics; go to goodhousekeeping.com/picnics for ideas.
 Get thee to a museum: Chances are there's some undiscovered gem within a day's drive of your home. Find everything from
military landmarks to offbeat museums (the Skateboard Museum, anyone?) on museumspot.com, where you can search for fun
destinations by geographic area or subject matter.
 Force the issue: Teens may resist what they see as dorky family outings, but "indulging every 'I don't want to' teaches them
they don't need to extend themselves to build relationships," says Hicks. Stand your ground.
Let Bedtime Slide (A Little)

During the summer, most kids consider sleeping late an inalienable right. But snoozing until lunchtime is a major mistake, says pediatric
sleep specialist Jodi Mindell, Ph.D., author of Take Charge of Your Child's Sleep: The All-in-One Resource for Solving Sleep Problems in Kids
and Teens. "Sleep is as important for tweens and teens as it is for younger kids," she says. Moving bedtime and wake-up time later in the
summer is fine — but don't let them sleep much past 9:30, even on weekends, or you'll throw off their natural body clock. To get kids
moving, schedule activities such as swim practice for A.M. hours, advises Mindell.

And remember: No electronics in your kid's bedroom; they're simply too stimulating to promote good sleep. "And the bright light suppresses
the production of melatonin, a sleep hormone," says Mindell.

Make Peace with Electronics:

A few times each summer, I threaten to toss the television out the window because I can't stand my kids' zombie-like stares another minute.
Knowing that research shows that TV and video games contribute to weight gain only adds to my discomfort level.

However, I'm also savvy enough to know that electronic entertainment is here to stay — and the American Academy of Pediatrics-approved
number for kids' daily screen time (two hours) often seems like very wishful thinking. (I'll admit that on days when I'm busy, a Guitar Hero
marathon can feel like a blessing — the house is quiet! There's no bickering!)
Still, experts recommend hammering out summer rules (say, no screen time before 3 p.m., or no more than two or three hours per one-day
period) and sticking to them. "If it seems like my kids are slacking, I have them keep a log of how much time they spend playing," says Dr.
Grimes, "and then review it with them. I reward compliance with something like a trip to one of their favorite restaurants."

Or, says Bradley, use the cell phone company's "rollover minutes" concept. "You all agree on a reasonable amount of video game time per
day: say, two hours," he says. "If they stop after 90 minutes, then they can have half an hour extra the next day." The beauty of the plan,
he adds, is that kids get some decision-making power, which helps them buy into the program.

"The crucial thing is to balance electronic entertainment with doses of fresh air and physical activity," says Hicks. One idea that's worked for
her: "I've had the kids earn screen time by reading — a half hour with a book buys a half hour online." You can do the same with outdoor
exercise; once kids are pushed outside, they usually find things to do. (Softball? Frisbee? Who knew?) And maybe — just maybe — they'll
find that there's more to summer than Halo 3.

How to Make a Choice You'll Never Regret

Forget the psychic and Magic-8 Ball. Simply using these clear-headed strategies can ensure that you do the
right thing.
1. Go with Your Gut Instincts A study found that when making simple choices (like what cereal to buy), it pays to be rational. But when
it comes to bigger ones (like which job to take), you're better off listening to your instincts. That's not to say you should buy a car on a
whim, but if you have weighed the pros and cons and still can't reach a conclusion, let your snap judgment be the tiebreaker and go with
what just feels right.

2. Put Down the Mojito There's a reason Google Mail Goggles was invented: Cocktails make it easier to act. Although one drink can relax
you while you're agonizing over a choice, more than that can cloud your judgment.

3. Sleep on It...but Just for One Night Researchers say unconscious deliberation (i.e., getting shut-eye) can help you analyze your
options and come to a conclusion, which is why people will often tell you to sleep on it. However, belaboring a decision for too long means
you aren't comfortable with any of the choices you have before you and you need to consider alternatives.

4. Get into a Stress-Free State Go for a haircut right after you are laid off and you could wind up looking like Javier Bardem in No
Country for Old Men. The reason being, we tend to act rashly when we're nervous or upset. Research suggests that anxiety not only makes
it more difficult to settle on something but also actually makes you more likely to come to the wrong conclusion. So if you're fighting with
your boyfriend while choosing between two apartments, try to resolve the disagreement quickly so you can make a more clearheaded
resolution. And since one study found that stress has a residual effect, wait a few days after you've kissed and made up before forking over
your security deposit.

5. Talk It Over with a Select Few Chatting about your predicament with close friends, your mom, or whomever you trust to give an
honest opinion is a good idea. Hashing out your options allows you to further process the decision, and hearing others' perspectives
(whether you agree with them or not) can help you arrive at a more informed — and better — conclusion.
6. But Avoid Discussing It with Everyone So you know that running your decision past a few key people in your life is smart. But it's
best to keep your hairstylist, trainer, and barista out of it. Soliciting too many opinions — especially from people who don't know you that
well — can leave you with lots of conflicting (not to mention bad) advice. Before seeking someone's opinion, ask yourself if the person is
really in a position to know what's best for you. If the answer is no, keep it to yourself.

7. Consider the Long-Term Consequences Some decisions make short-term sense but in the long run can be disastrous. For example,
telling your guy you cheated on him once three years ago may relieve your guilt, but it will probably cause him to break up with you.
Similarly, doing things like sitting in the sun or having unprotected sex often can feel right in the moment, but these toxic behaviors have
serious health ramifications.

A good rule of thumb: Play out each possible scenario in your mind...and consider the outcome (on your health, on a friend's or boyfriend's
feelings, on your credit-card bill — whatever) before making a controversial move.

8. Don't Leave It Up to Chance It can be dangerous to make a major, life-changing choice based on what your horoscope instructs you
to do. While it's definitely fun to let these things influence small decisions (which dress to wear on a date, if you should ask out a guy), the
bigger stuff (dumping your boyfriend, moving across the country) should not be left up to the stars.

9. Blow Off Bullies Who Are Pressuring You When grappling with a decision, it can be easy to be swayed in one direction by someone
who has self-serving motives — whether it's a salesperson talking you into buying a pair of shoes you can't afford or your parents being all
up in your grill about going to a particular grad school. Distance yourself from the person or people pressuring you while you sort out your
thoughts. And if that's not possible, pretend you're advising a friend on the matter, which will help you act more logically and guilt-free.
10. Remember That You Can't Always Use the Past to Predict the Future Especially when you're making a choice that will seriously
affect your bank account or lifestyle, it's important not to rely simply on experience. In our rapidly changing world, experts recommend
assessing each new opportunity with a fresh mind-set. What might have been a shrewd move a few years ago — like buying a house or
leaving your 9-to-5 gig to start up your own business — could wreak havoc on your life today.

5 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Tame the green-eyed monster with these tips from Marie Claire's Living Flirtatiously blogger Maura Kelly.

1. Remember that you don't have the same DNA that someone else has. Some people are just naturally born with fantastic looks, enormous
brains, incredibly physical acumen. Some people are natural Marilyn Monroes, like my friend Duval. Some people are naturally Steve Jobs or
Conan O'Brien — they naturally operate on a higher intellectual level. And then there are...the rest of us. Who are sexy, attractive, and
interesting in our own ways.

2. Remember that you may not have had the kinds of advantages others have had. Even if you've had *some* advantages, that doesn't
mean you've had *all* the advantages that your friends, peers, and colleagues have had. For example, a while back, a friend of mine was
beating himself up for not being more successful. "I've had every advantage in the world!" he was saying. But I pointed out to him that,
okay, sure, he has a degree from an incredibly elite college — the kind that cannot be beat. At the same time, his parents don't have fancy
educations themselves; they got divorced when he was very young so there was a lot of childhood turmoil; and they were relatively poor.
Plus, his father is basically morally reprehensible, if you ask me. What's more, my friend struggles with emotional problems — and I suspect
*his* DNA comes with a lot more biochemical imbalances than the average person's.

3. Remember that you haven't had the same lucky breaks or random opportunities as other people. Sometimes all it takes is the right first
job — or right second job — to catapult a person into a completely different stratosphere.

4. Remember that other people may not have had the same unlucky breaks as you've had. You may have had some enormous setbacks —
related to illness or injury, for instance, or perhaps to the death of someone close to you — that other people have not had to endure.

5. Think about what you can do to change yourself — but don't beat yourself for not being a different person. I think it can be healthy to
make comparisons at times. And I think if you realize your friends are doing things you're not doing — dating more actively, improving
themselves through classes or a new exercise regime, or whatever — it might help incite you to take some positive action. What you DON'T
want to be doing, however, is looking at everyone around you and saying to yourself, "Man, they're all so awesome — and I'm so sucky."
Because I just have a feeling that isn't true.

18 Get-Off-the-Couch Games

Get your kid moving with these fun games -- he won't even realize he's getting exercise!

Kids need exercise! Today's kids are getting fat! You've heard people screaming about it everywhere, but do they have to
come up with safe, easy ways for children to get their hearts pumping and muscles working? Clearly not, or they wouldn't
be making us moms feel so guilty for supposedly raising a generation of couch potatoes. We're here to help your brood the
old-fashioned way: with games so fun -- and simple -- you'll all forget they're good for you, too.

Games for the Family

Classy moves - Ask your child to teach you how to do a move she learned at soccer camp or karate class, and then share
a fancy pose from your yoga class. Take turns teaching each other a skill until one person can't think of anything else to
share. First one out of ideas is in charge of making the post-workout popcorn.

Speed-read - Turbocharge storytime: Choose a word that will be repeated often ("green," for instance, if you're reading
Green Eggs and Ham) and have your child stand up or sit down each time he hears it.

Animal charades - Write the names of various animals on slips of paper and drop them into a bowl. Take turns choosing a
slip and acting out the animal (try it with no sounds for a real challenge) until someone guesses correctly.

Freeze frame - Gather a few stuffed animals, crank up some tunes, and boogie until one observer (Mom or Dad) pauses
the music. Dancers must freeze, and if anyone budges before you start the music again, he must pick a stuffed "dance
partner." Keep dancing (and pausing) until all the animals are in play. Then, when someone moves, he must take an animal
from an opponent. Dance until one person has all the animals or you're wiped out!
Catch with a catch - Have each player toss a beach ball into the air and try to touch his nose or high-five the other
players before the balls drop. Make the challenges harder as you go along.

Color walk - Have your child gather sheets of construction paper or a stack of mismatched hand towels and lay them
down in a path all through the house. (To keep her from slipping, tape down the construction paper or towels with painter's
or masking tape, which won't ruin your floors.) Tell her to keep colors separate, so there won't be, say, three sheets of red
paper in a row. Once she's done, the challenge is on: Can she walk from one room to the next by stepping only on certain
colors? Can she make it from one end of the house to the other, stepping only on blue and red? Can she manage it on all
fours, or by hopping?

Balloon volleyball - Yes, volleyball usually takes more than one person. No, you don't have to play this version. Why? The
whole fun of this game is for your kid to play both sides. Blow up a balloon, set up the sofa or a chair as the center line, and
have your child run back and forth to hit the balloon before it lands on the ground. See if he can keep it aloft for 21 turns,
the usual winning score in volleyball.

Games for One

Snack grab - Lay down a straight or zigzagging line of tape from the kitchen snack cupboard to the dining table. Place a
big bowl on the table, and tell your child she can use it to mix up her own custom trail mix. The fitness hitch: She has to
choose one snack at a time (like dry cereal, nuts, and chocolate chips) and then walk -- or hop -- along the tape without
stepping off to deliver it. If she veers from the line with an item, she can't use it in the snack mix. You can bet she'll be
extra careful when she's carrying the chocolate!

Crab carry - Show your child how to walk like a crab: hands and feet on the floor, stomach facing up. Once he can do it,
give him a goal. He can balance some beanbags on his belly and move across a marked finish line, or gather some wayward
toys and move them to his room. (Don't mention that he's helping you clean up!) Which is faster: carrying one toy across
the room at a time, or a whole pile at once -- without spilling.

Stretch and sprout - Get ready for spring with this fun stretch: Ask your child to curl up on the floor as tightly as she can,
pretending to be a small seed. Have her imagine the warm sunshine, letting her body slowly unfurl and reach toward the
sky. Repeat the cycle, getting faster each time until the little flower blooms so quickly that your child jumps into the air.

Cotton-ball crawl - Dump a pile of cotton balls on the floor in your child's bedroom and place an empty bowl on the floor
in another room. Set a timer for four minutes, and have your child move all the cotton balls from his room into the bowl --
using a spoon and crawling on hands and knees. The cotton balls are so light, they're likely to go flying if he isn't careful. If
he makes it, challenge him to do it in three minutes!

Games for Two (or More)

ABC - We all know the drill when the '70s song "Y.M.C.A." comes on the radio. Take a cue from the Village People and
show your kids how to form letters with their bodies. Have them work together to create letters or form their names or
short words, either in a standing position or lying flat on the ground. Snap pictures of their letters so they can see how
great they look.

Monster mirror - Take the classic game of Mirror to gigantic proportions. Have two monsters (aka kids) face each other
and mirror each other's movements. Of course, monsters will use BIG motions, with their arms and legs fully extended.
Comb that monster hair: It's so long they'll need to stretch all the way to the ground. Wash a monstrous window, way up
high. Take a deep breath and growl out a monster roar!

Balloon pop - Tie a balloon to each player's right leg with a three-foot length of string. When everyone's outfitted,
assemble the kids in the garage or a room with lots of open space. The goal is to pop the other players' balloons by
stomping on them. Once a kid's balloon is popped, he's out. Loud, wild, fun. (Have them pick up the bits of balloon left on
the floor afterward. They're a choking hazard for littler kids.)

Traveling basketball - Place a large bowl or bucket in each room and give each player a rolled-up sock. Have the players
stand in the doorway and take aim, trying to get their sock into the bowl. As each player scores, he progresses to the next
room. The first person to complete the entire circuit is the winner.
Hip waddle - Pull out a beach ball (or blow up a balloon) to rev up a simple walk across the room. Stand two kids side by
side and place the ball between their hips. Now send them across the room, and see if they can get there without dropping
the ball (it's easier if they link arms, but they'll figure that out!). If they do, they have to pick it up and start over again. As
long as you have enough beach balls or balloons, you can play this with any number of kids. It gets harder (but goofier) as
you add more players to the line.

Stand together - Have two kids sit on the floor, back to back, with arms linked at the elbows. See if they can work
together to get themselves into a standing position. They'll need to push against each other in order to get to their feet.
Then see if they can stay linked while walking around and trying to pick up items from the floor.

Potato drop - Got some competitive kids? Set up a race: Place two widemouthed jars (or small bowls) at a finish line. Mark
a starting point about 15 feet away, and give each child a potato. They'll race, carrying the potato between their knees, to
see who can drop it into the jar first, no hands allowed. If racers (walking, hopping, running, falling down laughing) drop
the potato, they must go back to the starting line.