The Three Little Pigs – Roald Dahl
The animal I really dig, He cried, "Oh Wolf, you've had one meal!
Above all others is the pig. Why can't we talk and make a deal?
Pigs are noble. Pigs are clever, The Wolf replied, "Not on your nelly!"
Pigs are courteous. However, And soon the pig was in his belly.
Now and then, to break this rule,
One meets a pig who is a fool. "Two juicy little pigs!" Wolf cried,
What, for example, would you say, "But still I'm not quite satisfied!
If strolling through the woods one day, I know how full my tummy's bulging,
Right there in front of you you saw But oh, how I adore indulging."
A pig who'd built his house of STRAW? So creeping quietly as a mouse,
The Wolf who saw it licked his lips, The Wolf approached another house,
And said, "That pig has had his chips." A house which also had inside
"Little pig, little pig, let me come in!" A little piggy trying to hide.
"No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin- "You'll not get me!" the Piggy cried.
chin!" "I'll blow you down!" the Wolf replied.
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your "You'll need," Pig said, "a lot of puff,
house in!" And I don't think you've got enough."
Wolf huffed and puffed and blew and blew.
The little pig began to pray, The house stayed up as good as new.
But Wolfie blew his house away. "If I can't blow it down," Wolf said,
He shouted, "Bacon, pork and ham! I'll have to blow it up instead.
Oh, what a lucky Wolf I am!" I'll come back in the dead of night
And though he ate the pig quite fast, And blow it up with dynamite!"
He carefully kept the tail till last. Pig cried, "You brute! I might have known!"
Wolf wandered on, a trifle bloated. Then, picking up the telephone,
Surprise, surprise, for soon he noted He dialed as quickly as he could
Another little house for pigs, The number of red Riding Hood.
And this one had been built of TWIGS!
"Hello," she said. "Who's speaking? Who?
"Little pig, little pig, let me come in!" Oh, hello, Piggy, how d'you do?"
"No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin- Pig cried, "I need your help, Miss Hood!
chin!" Oh help me, please! D'you think you
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your could?"
house in!" "I'll try of course," Miss Hood replied.
"What's on your mind...?"
The Wolf said, "Okay, here we go!"
"A Wolf!" Pig cried.
He then began to blow and blow.
"I know you've dealt with wolves before,
The little pig began to squeal.
And now I've got one at my door!"
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The Three Little Pigs – Roald Dahl
"My darling Pig," she said, "my sweet,
That's something really up my street.
I've just begun to wash my hair.
But when it's dry, I'll be right there."
A short while later, through the wood,
Came striding brave Miss Riding Hood.
The Wolf stood there, his eyes ablaze,
And yellowish, like mayonnaise.
His teeth were sharp, his gums were raw,
And spit was dripping from his jaw.
Once more the maiden's eyelid flickers.
She draws the pistol from her knickers.
Once more she hits the vital spot,
And kills him with a single shot.
Pig, peeping through the window, stood
And yelled, "Well done, Miss Riding Hood!"
Ah, Piglet, you must never trust
Young ladies from the upper crust.
For now, Miss Riding Hood, one notes,
Not only has two wolfskin coats,
But when she goes from place to place,
She has a PIGSKIN TRAVELING CASE.