Book Reviews 117
seminars (particularly at the Ph.D. or advanced M.A. level) in intercul-
tural communication.
Mitchell R. Hammer
The American University
Washington, D. C.
INTERCULTURAL MARRIAGE: PROMISES AND PITFALLS
Dugan Roman0
Yarmouth, ME: Intercultural Press, Inc., 1988, 162 pp., $14.95 (paper)
Since geographical distances are no longer a barrier to meeting and
getting to know individuals of different cultures, a growing number of
people are meeting prospective marriage partners from cultures and con-
tinents other than their own. There are few books available to guide a
person considering marriage with someone of another culture. Dugan
Romano’s insightful book, Intercultural Marriage: Promises and Pitfalls,
attempts to fill the void. In comparing intercultural marriage to a very
serious game in which each of the partners has been provided with a
different set of rules, Roman0 suggests that the promises and pitfalls in
intercultural marriage lie in sorting out these rules and in negotiating new
ones. She (a) gives a brief overview of what makes intercultural marriages
different, (b) discusses the major problems and challenges in intercultural
marriages, and (c) offers some suggestions to the intercultural couple
toward managing the differences effectively.
Chapter one develops a typology based on people who share certain
personality traits or matrimonial motives. It categorizes people into out-
casts, rebels, mavericks, compensators, adventurers, escapists, and un-
stables. While categorization is a useful tool in descriptive research, the
above typology puts labels on groups of people, risking the potential for
stereotyping. Chapter two identifies 18 potential problems or pitfalls of
intercultural marriage. They range from different food and drink prefer-
ences to friends, in-laws, religion, male-female roles, the expatriate
spouse, and raising children. The author needs to be commended for
having touched upon such an impressive list of potential trouble spots.
The final chapter focuses on (a) managing cultural differences in inter-
cultural marraige, (b) predictors of a successful intercultural marriage,
and (c) specific considerations before entering an intercultural marriage.
The author draws effectively on conflict management theory in present-
II8 Book Reviews
ing various types of “marital models,” such as submission, compromise,
obliteration, and consensus. Ten factors for a successful intercultural
marriage are presented, although each of these factors can be considered
essential for any marriage.
Roman0 emphasizes that knowing the partner’s language is crucial to
understanding his or her perspective. However, while learning the lan-
guage of one’s partner is a very positive step toward better understanding,
the importance of knowing that language can be exaggerated. Perhaps it
is not a particular language that is so important but the ability and
willingness to be in tune with each other. While one may never quite learn
the native language of one’s partner, one does need to learn his or her
culture to understand and empathize with him or her.
Throughout the book, the author weaves into her discussion stories
and examples of intercultural couples whom she has interviewed. The
experiences of these couples make the illustrations vivid and alive. How-
ever, this book relies heavily on the data gathered from expatriate inter-
cultural marriages, and little from marriages between people from differ-
ent races, ethnicities, and religions within a nation.
As a long-time partner in an intercultural marriage, I find this book to
be insightful. It covers intercultural marriage in its various stages, which
are similar to culture shock or culture adjustment. I commend the author
on her insights and coverage of a variety of intercultural challenges that
need to be faced and managed in an intercultural marriage. This is a
practical, easy-to-read book which gives many useful tips and much food
for thought to anyone at the threshold of an intercultural marriage. It is
apparent, however, that the negative points, the problems, and trouble-
spots of intercultural marriage are emphasized more than its positive
points. The balance between “promises” and “pitfalls” suggested in the
title is missing.
As an intercultural researcher and educator, I would have appreciated a
larger variety of intercultural couples interviewed to support generaliza-
bility and validity for the author’s point of view. In addition, the very
brief discussion of values is somewhat sketchy, simplistic, and general.
For a serious student of intercultural marriage, this pioneering and prac-
tical volume needs to be supplemented by more in-depth readings on
intercultural communication, cultural anthropology, and marriage based
on love.
Overall, I would recommend this book to be read by anyone consider-
ing an intercultural marriage. It also offers intercultural couples a chance
to compare their experiences with those of other similar couples. In
addition, friends and relatives of intercultural couples will find this book
useful in helping them appreciate various aspects of an intercultural mar-
riage. Indeed, Dugan Romano’s book provides a practical, valuable, in-
Book Reviews 119
sightful, welcome, and timely contribution toward developing a greater
understanding of the complexity of the factors involved in an intercultur-
al marriage.
Erika bra
St. Cloud State Un~vgrsity
St. Cloud, Minnesota
