Perfectionism

A guide for when striving for

excellence becomes unhealthy
 People with unhealthy
perfectionism react to mistakes
in an extreme and highly
self-critical manner and are
very uncomfortable with
uncertainty.

Some years ago Jessica Lahey wrote in the New York Times: “We all
know perfection is an unreasonable burden to place on our children
‘Tyranny of the Shoulds’
but we also reward them when they strive for that perfection.” People with unhealthy perfectionism often have the same very high
Her article was an attempt to understand the complex nature of standards but the standards are not realistic or only attainable with
perfectionism in today’s world where achievement is valued significant negative consequences; such people react to mistakes in an
at almost any price. extreme and highly self-critical manner and are very uncomfortable
So what does unhealthy perfectionism look like and what is the with uncertainty. The self-esteem of such perfectionists is almost
distinction between such perfectionism and ‘healthy striving for exclusively dependent on striving and achievement but they constantly
excellence’? People with a healthy striving for excellence have very high perceive themselves to have failed and live in fear of such failure and
standards but the standards are potentially achievable; when they do what it means for them. Such perfectionism was described almost
not reach their goals, people with healthy striving for excellence are able seventy years ago as the “Tyranny of the Shoulds” (Horney, 1950).
to stand back and reflect objectively on their mistakes so that they can A few years later, Hollender (1965) painted the following clinical
learn from them. They are able to tolerate uncertainty and don’t react to picture of perfectionism:
their failure with intense self-criticism. “The perfectionist finds it difficult to sort out items in order of their
importance or to maintain a sense of proportion. A small detail that
has been missed may deprive him of gratification from a job otherwise
This leaflet is based on work conducted well done. He is constantly on the alert for what is wrong and seldom
by Prof. Roz Shafran in collaboration with focuses on what is right. He looks so intently for defects or flaws
Prof. Tracey Wade and Dr Sarah Egan.
that he lives his life as though he were an inspector at the end of a
production line.” (p. 95)

People with a healthy striving

Help our resources have a greater impact. for excellence have very high
Please consider sharing this booklet with standards but the standards are
someone who might also benefit from it
instead of recycling it. potentially achievable.
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 Spotting unhealthy
perfectionism Some questions…
to help spot when perfectionism
It is not always easy to detect this is a problem are:
unhealthy perfectionism and very often
• How hard are you pushing yourself
people themselves do not consider it
to meet your goals?
to be a problem. Instead, it can cause
difficulties for those around them. The • Do you tend to focus on what you
area in which the perfectionism is have not achieved rather than what
expressed is also very important. you have achieved?

Unhealthy perfectionism applied in the • Do other people tell you that your
domain of work may lead to someone standards are too high?
being labelled as a ‘workaholic’ but the
• Do you feel a failure as a person
same type of perfectionism applied
because you have not succeeded in
in the domain of dieting and weight
meeting your goals?
loss may lead to an eating disorder.
Typically such perfectionism is applied
Other types • Are you afraid that you might not
across many areas of life and can cause of perfectionism reach your standards?
multiple difficulties. We know that
• Do you raise your standards after
perfectionism of this sort is associated There are other types of perfectionism
meeting them?
with depression as well as other that might also be posing a problem
difficulties such as eating disorders, such as having high standards for other Treating • Do you judge yourself on your

perfectionism
anxiety, chronic fatigue syndrome, people and constantly feeling let down. ability to meet your standards?
obsessive compulsive disorder and Similarly, some people erroneously
• Do you repeatedly check how
low self-esteem. Unlike depression, believe that other people have high
well you are doing at meeting
‘perfectionism’ is not a diagnosis and standards for them and that they Until relatively recently, no treatment
your standards (for example, by
it can sometimes be difficult for an feel they are constantly letting other for perfectionism had been developed,
comparing yourself to others?)
outsider to spot. people down. In some cases, people are partly due to the suggestion that
focused on the need to appear perfect perfectionism was an unchangeable • Do you keep on trying to meet your
and in others their perfectionism personality characteristic. However, standards even if you miss out on
may predominantly be focused in in 2002 the Oxford Centre for Eating other things?
an area such as sport or religion. Disorders proposed a cognitive-
• Do you react to small mistakes with
behavioural approach to perfectionism
intense self-criticism?
(Shafran, Cooper & Fairburn, 2002).
Although it was controversial, it • Do you avoid tests of your
paved the way for research and performance in case you fail?
Unhealthy multiple studies have now shown
perfectionism applied that the treatment based on this These questions can help detect
in the domain of work approach is effective both in terms when perfectionism is interfering
of reducing perfectionism but also with functioning and is likely to be
may lead to someone with respect to the impact that the associated with low mood
being labelled as a treatment has on other difficulties and anxiety.
‘workaholic’. such as depression and anxiety.
4 Perfectionism charliewaller.org • [email protected] 5
 The treatment can be delivered individually, in groups, FURTHER READING
using a self-help book or over the internet. Some of the key
NEZU, A. M., NEZU, C. M., D’ZURILLA, T. J. (2007)
treatment strategies are:
Solving Life’s Problems: A 5-step Guide to Enhanced Well-being.
• Understanding what maintains • Trying to rebalance attention so SHAFRAN, R., EGAN, S., & WADE, T. (2018)
the perfectionism. It is helpful that it isn’t always focused on Overcoming Perfectionism 2nd Edition: A self-help guide using scientifically
to understand the causes of the the negative. supported cognitive behavioural techniques. Robinson.
perfectionism but, like other SHAFRAN, R., EGAN, S. & WADE, T. (2012)
• Helping with self-criticism by
cognitive behavioural approaches, Changing Perfectionism: This booklet describes ‘clinical perfectionism’ and its
increasing compassion towards
the focus is on the factors that keep link with how people evaluate themselves.
oneself and having the same
the perfectionism going.
expectations for themselves
• Dispelling myths. For example, many and others.
people believe ‘the harder I work,
• Dealing with avoidance,
the better I will do’ but there comes
procrastination and other related
a point at which over-working may
problems such as poor time
backfire and cause a deterioration in
management; problem-solving
performance due to tiredness
strategies such as the ones described
(for example).
by Christine and Arthur Nezu
• Conducting surveys to be able to get can be particularly helpful (and
information about others’ standards problem-solving is also an effective
to enable benchmarking. intervention for depression!)

• Testing out beliefs using ‘behavioural

experiments’. For example, if a
person thinks that they will fail
an assignment if they do less than We have a number of other guides that might be of interest
to you. To view these and all our other resources please visit
The future
eight hours work, he/she would
be encouraged to do seven hours charliewaller.org/resources
work and to use that extra hour to To order hard copies of this leaflet please go to
do something enjoyable instead; We have come a long way in our shop.charliewaller.org
gradually the amount of work would understanding of perfectionism and
be reduced and the person would in developing interventions that work.
learn that three to four hours is However, there remains a great deal ABOUT THE AUTHOR
sufficient for that type of assignment. of work to do so that we can help Roz Shafran is a Professor of Translational Psychology at University College London and a
people with a wide variety of forms Chartered Clinical Psychologist. She is a Trustee of the Charlie Waller Trust and founded
• Addressing ‘all-or-nothing’ thinking of perfectionism and to see whether
the Charlie Waller Institute of Evidenced Based Psychological Treatment at the University
of Reading.
by helping the person realise the the interventions work for children She is also co-author of ‘Overcoming Perfectionism: a self-help guide using scientifically
shades of grey between ‘success’ and young people. We also need to supported cognitive behavioural techniques’.
and ‘failure’. make sure that people can access the
REFERENCES
treatments that they need in a timely
Hollender, M. H. (1965). Perfectionism. Comprehensive psychiatry, 6(2), 94-103.
way. I am hopeful that such ambition
Horney, K. (1950). The Collected Works of Karen Horney: Self analysis. Neurosis and
reflects healthy striving for excellence human growth (Vol. 2). WW Norton.
and an achievable goal, but only Shafran, R., Cooper, Z., & Fairburn, C. G. (2002). Clinical perfectionism:
time will tell… A cognitive-behavioural analysis. Behaviour research and therapy, 40(7), 773-791.

6 Perfectionism
 Remembering Charlie
Charlie Waller was a strong, funny, popular, good-looking and kind
young man, with a close and loving family. To the outside world,
he had everything to live for. Yet in 1997, at the age of 28, Charlie took
his own life. He was suffering from depression.

In response to this tragedy, his family founded The Charlie Waller

Trust, to open up the conversation around depression, and to ensure
that young people are able to understand and look after their mental
health and to spot the signs in others.

Charlie sits at the heart of our story, our vision and our purpose.

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0044 / 09.2022