STUDENT NUMBER

SET With Diab & Co.

2020 HIT Program

ENGLISH ADVANCED
PAPER 2 – MODULES

General • Reading time – 5 minutes

Instructions
• Working time – 2 hours
• Write using black pen

Total Marks Section I – 20 marks

60 • Attempt ONE question for this section
• Allow about 40 minutes for this section

Section II – 20 marks
• Attempt ONE question for this section
• Allow about 40 minutes for this section
Section III – 20 marks
• Attempt both parts of the question
• Allow about 40 minutes for this section
Section I – Module A: Textual Conversations

20 marks
Attempt Question 1
Allow about 40 minutes for this section

Answer the question for this section in the Paper 2, Section I Writing Booklet.
Additional writing paper is available.

Your answer will be assessed on how well you:

• demonstrate understanding of how composers are influenced by another text’s concepts
and values
• evaluate the relationships between texts and contexts
• organise, develop and express ideas using language appropriate to audience, purpose
and form

Question 1 (20 marks)

Composers use textual conversations to repurpose narratives.

Apply this statement to the pair of prescribed texts that you have studied in Module A.

Focus your evaluation on the resonant and dissonant aspects of the textual conversation crafted
by the composer of the second text.

2
The prescribed texts are:

Shakespearean Drama and Film

- William Shakespeare, King Richard III
and
- Al Pacino, Looking for Richard

Prose Fiction and Film

- Virginia Woolf, Mrs Dalloway
and
- Stephen Daldry, The Hours

Prose Fiction and Prose Fiction

- Albert Camus, The Stranger
and
- Kamel Daoud, The Meursault Investigation

Poetry and Drama

- John Donne, John Donne: A Selection of His Poetry
The prescribed poems are: The Sunne Rising, The Apparition A Valediction: forbidding
mourning, This is my playes last scene, At the round earths imagin’d corners, If poysonous
minerals, Death be not proud, Hymne to God my God, in my sicknesse
and
- Margaret Edson, W;t

Poetry and Film

- John Keats, The Complete Poems
The prescribed poems are: La Belle Dame sans Merci, To Autumn, Bright star! would I
were steadfast as thou art, Ode to a Nightingale, Ode on a Grecian Urn, When I have fears
that I may cease to be, The Eve of St Agnes, XXIII
and
- Jane Campion, Bright Star

Poetry and Poetry

- Sylvia Plath, Ariel
The prescribed poems are: Daddy, Nick and the Candlestick, A Birthday Present, Lady
Lazarus, Fever 103°, The Arrival of the Bee Box
and
- Ted Hughes, Birthday Letters
The prescribed poems are: Fulbright Scholars, The Shot, A Picture of Otto, Fever, Red,
The Bee God

Shakespearean Drama and Prose Fiction

- William Shakespeare, The Tempest
and
- Margaret Atwood, Hag-Seed

3
Section II – Module B: Critical Study of Literature

20 marks
Attempt Question 2
Allow about 40 minutes for this section

Answer the question for this section in the Paper 2, Section II Writing Booklet.
Additional writing paper is available.

Your answer will be assessed on how well you:

• demonstrate an informed understanding of the ideas expressed in the text
• evaluate the text’s distinctive language and stylistic qualities
• organise, develop and express ideas using language appropriate to audience, purpose
and form

Question 2 (20 marks)

"The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself."

--Albert Camus

Considering the idea in the stimulus provided, critically analyse how your interpretation of the
enduring relevance of a central idea in the text you have studied has been shaped by the text’s
construction.

4
The Prescribed Texts are:

Prose Fiction
- Jane Austen, Emma
- Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
- Kazuo Ishiguro, An Artist of the Floating World

Poetry
- T S Eliot, T S Eliot: Selected Poems
The prescribed poems are:
o The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock
o Preludes
o Rhapsody on a Windy Night
o The Hollow Men
o Journey of the Magi

- David Malouf, Earth Hour

The prescribed poems are:
o Aquarius
o Radiance
o Ladybird A Recollection of Starlings: Rome ’84
o Eternal Moment at Poggia Madonna
o Towards Midnight
o Earth Hour
o Aquarius II

Drama
- Henrik Ibsen, A Doll’s House
- Dylan Thomas, Under Milk Wood

Nonfiction
- Edmund De Waal, The Hare with Amber Eyes
- Vladimir Nabokov, Speak, Memory

Film
- George Clooney, Good Night, and Good Luck

Media
- Gillian Armstrong, Unfolding Florence

Shakespearean Drama
- William Shakespeare, King Henry IV, Part 1

5
Section III – Module C: The Craft of Writing

20 marks
Attempt Question 3
Allow about 40 minutes for this section

Answer the question for this section in the Paper 2, Section III Writing Booklet.
Additional writing paper is available.

Your answer will be assessed on how well you:

• Craft language to address the demands of the question
• Use language appropriate to audience, purpose and context to deliberately shape
meaning

Question 3 (20 marks)

(a)
Choose a minor character from one of the texts you have studied in Module A or
Module B or Module C. Compose an imaginative response from the perspective of
this character, exploring his or her reaction to a significant episode. This may or
may not be an episode from the original text.
(12 marks)

(b)
Justify how you have used features of language in Part A to create an authentic
perspective, inspired by the representation of this character in the prescribed text.
(8 marks)

6
The prescribed texts are:

Prose Fiction
- Kate Chopin, The Awakening
- Elizabeth Harrower, The Fun of the Fair
- Franz Kafka, Metamorphosis
- Nam Le, Love and Honour and Pity and Pride and Compassion and Sacrifice
- Colum McCann, Thirteen Ways of Looking
- Colum McCann, What Time Is It Now, Where You Are?
- Rohinton Mistry, The Ghost of Firozsha Baag

Nonfiction
- Helen Garner, How to Marry Your Daughters
- Siri Hustvedt, Eight Days in a Corset
- George Orwell, Politics and the English Language
- Zadie Smith, That Crafty Feeling

Speeches
- Margaret Atwood, Spotty-Handed Villainesses
- Geraldine Brooks, A Home in Fiction
- Noel Pearson, Eulogy for Gough Whitlam

Poetry
- Boey Kim Cheng, Stamp Collecting
- Gwen Harwood, Father and Child
- Wallace Stevens, Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird
- Alfred Lord Tennyson, The Lady of Shallot

Performance
Poetry
- Kate Tempest, Picture a Vacuum

7
 HURLSTONE AGRICULTURAL HIGH SCHOOL - ENGLISH FACULTY
HSC ENGLISH ADVANCED – TRIAL HSC FEEDBACK – MODULE A

Question 1:
Composers use textual conversations to repurpose narratives.

Apply this statement to the pair of prescribed texts that you have studied in Module A. Focus your evaluation
on the resonant and dissonant aspects of the textual conversation crafted by the composer of the second
text.

BREAKDOWN OF THE QUESTION

ADDRESSING THE QUOTE

➔ This quote allowed for YOU to choose the direction.
➔ Whilst you did need to address the narrative, when dealing with a quote (within a question) it is
important to think about the meaning drawn from the quote. What does this quote say about how
composers use textual conversations? This needed to be the overall focus of your response. It was
integral that you chose to use this interpretation (and not your own) to shape your response.
ADDRESSING THE QUESTION
➔ Your response needed to address BOTH the resonant and dissonant issues. The question did not
say ‘or’ but ​‘and​’. As part of your evaluation you needed to note both what resonates between the
two but also dissonant concerns.
➔ The second part of the question noted ‘crafted by the second composer’. As such Edson borrowed
from Donne and this should have been at the forefront of your structural decisions. Remember that
Donne did not know that Edson existed… you must structure your response and your arguments
accordingly.

MARKER’S COMMENTS, ADVICE AND SAMPLE RESPONSE

INTRODUCTION

➔ A good introduction is concise but includes all the information required to establish the premise of the
argument that will be substantiated through a discussion of the paired text(s).
➔ The longest part of the introduction is the thesis. In high ‘A range’ responses, the thesis is an
overarching argument rather than split into two distinct ideas
➔ In a question with more than one part, your introduction will naturally be a little longer.
➔ DO not include specific examples or techniques in the introduction.

MARKERS FEEDBACK GUIDELINES SAMPLE

The foremost function and beauty of

Answer the question immediately ✔ Use the wording of the
textual conversations is explicated in their
and explicitly. question and elaborate
unmatched ability to transcend the
✔ The best way to do this on each part to ensure
bounds of objective context and
was to reword the you are not just
repurpose the narrative of man’s
question, elaborating on rephrasing the question.
experience for the subjective reader. As
each part.
such, through the conceptual and
 ✔ Ensure your thesis is an ✔ When there are parts to contextual resonances and dissonances
overarching argument - not the question, develop constructed between Donne’s collection
a phrase which says your ideas methodically. of poetry - more specifically “A valediction
‘Edson and Donne explore ✔ Use 2-3 sentences to forbidding mourning” and “Hymne to God
mortality and relationships’. build your thesis. my God in my sicknesse” and ​W;t,​ Edson
What was the connection ✔ Try to use elaboration as recontextualises the undying value of
between these two things a way to begin mortality and relationships in a world that
and further, how did this developing your thesis. lacks a deep degree of introspective
serve as a narrative? spirituality.
✔ Insightfully identifies the
actual narrative in the -------------------------------------------------------
question and HOW they
are repurposing it. Within one text lies the heart and soul of
✔ When you chop and a thousand others, linked and intertwined
change the phrasing of the with the fabric of human values. Textual
question you effectively conversations are a product of literature
create a new question. that composers implement to fashion
This is poor essay form. narratives that are inspired by the values
You cannot achieve a good in older narratives, with the intention of
mark if you do this. After reinvigorating values that have been lost
all, if you remove or alter due to changing contexts. In particular,
parts of a recipe you’ll end Margaret Edson’s postmodern play W ​ ;t
up with a very different repurposes the complex
outcome. Flour, eggs, seventeenth-century poetry written by
sugar, butter, milk, vanilla John Donne, reimagining the genius of
= basic cake mix. Remove his stories within his poems to extract the
the flour and add cream age-old values concerning the
and you’ll get a great inevitability of death and the faith and
custard. But it’s not a cake. self-awareness required to cope with this
Your job is not to change mortal fate. Through drawing resonances
the recipe but embellish it with Donne’s narrative, Edson is able to
– you want to turn that subsequently make dissonances and
plain cake into a lavish repurpose his narratives to compel her
three-tiered chocolate cake contemporary society to recognise the
with icing. absence and importance of these values.

TIPS FROM YOUR MARKER

- Many students were able to repurpose (ha) what they used in the previous responses. Students ARE
advised to take care when doing this though. For eg, the issues (forgiveness) may not have been as
effective as other issues which were written for this question.

BODY PARAGRAPHS

● Expect to write between 800-1000 words in the body of your essay.

● A good paragraph builds one part of the argument. All paragraphs eventually combine to prove the
thesis as a whole. Stronger responses used an overarching thesis and then broke this into two
 sub arguments which worked together to answer the question AND their argument. (KIT KAT
APPROACH- Break your thesis in two to form the focus of your two body paragraphs!)
● A distinguishing feature of good analysis is the judicious selection of examples and techniques –
choosing the quotes that best support your idea and use these to develop your argument.
● Context is embedded in a purposeful way. Eg, paragraphs include textual grounding. THIS IS VITAL
IN MOD A annnnnnnd is relevant to argument.
● Decide how many body paragraphs you will use by taking into consideration the scope within the
question and how many steps you need to develop a clear and strategic question. Remember this
is a ‘Comparative Study’ so you already know that you must examine each text in relation to the
other. YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO ACHIEVE TWO.
● Remember, there is no need to examine the same Donne poems in all paragraphs of the response.
All the poems are one text, so you use the parts of that texts as you need through the response in the
same way as you do the play. You do not have to limit yourself to two poems either, just as there is
no need to write about all of them.
● Be specific about what is being reframed. Eg, this ‘arrogance’ is reframed by…
● ‘A range’ responses tend to begin with a comparison between both texts, which is framed as part of
their thesis. Then in analysis they move to unpacking this comparison within each text. Usually
begins with that common grounding.

MARKER’S FEEDBACK GUIDELINES SAMPLE

The impending reality of death and

● Topic sentences need to ✔Present a clear and specific
mortality is a universal human
clearly connect to the main statement that is linked to
struggle. By utilising the spiritual,
ideas in the introduction. your thesis. Christian lens present in the
Use specific words/phrases ✔Both the question and a part Jacobean era, Donne showcases
from your introduction. of your thesis need to be the journey associated with
● You should be relating the echoed in the topic sentence accepting one’s inherent mortality.
topic sentence to the Edson expresses this idea through
✔ To move from the topic
question – use key word/s a secular, postmodern lens, in
sentence to the text, which there are no spiritual or
from the question.
you should provide a religious metanarratives to guide
● Good analysis is based concise summary of the one’s conceptualisation of death.
on clarity and a specific text, relative to the idea In Donne’s sonnet “This is my
focus being applied to you just established. playes last scene”, Donne utilises
the text. ✔ Be concise and precise. the sonnet structure to showcase
● Too many students How does this text how in order to overcome the
anxiety associated with death,
used the text grounding relate to the idea in your
one’s mortality must be accepted.
sentence as a way to topic sentence?
The metaphorical comparison
summarise the text. created in “This is my playes last
✔ Remember to write from
This is not the purpose scene; here heavens appoint …”
out-side the text.
of this sentence. comparing life to a play,
✔ All references to
Rather, set up your showcases the impending sense
techniques or features
analysis of the text by of approaching death. By
of writing must be
establishing the focus comparing the protagonist’s life to
connected to the a “pilgrimage” Donne makes a
or lens, and establish
composer, not symbolic comparison between life
any contextual
characters in the text. and a spiritual journey,
concerns which may be
✔ Develop clear showcasing that life is just a
relevant to your journey to something beyond,
references that are
argument. depicting the spiritual lens on
based concepts/ideas in
 the text and supported acceptance of one’s mortality. In
● Your analysis must
with purposeful use of the metaphoric “leave this world,
show evidence of your
quotes. Aim to integrate the flesh and the devil”, the
ability to synthesis. You persona has accepted their
quotes and analysis.
should also develop a impending mortality, as Donne
✔ Link ideas to the
cohesive discussion of showcases religion’s ability to help
responder and how we
relevant examples that one conceptualise death. Edson
are positioned IF it reimagines this narrative through a
substantiate the
flows. Otherwise leave secular lens, in which Vivian must
argument you have
this until the final come to this acceptance without
established.
sentence of the spiritual guidance. Edson
● Too many students
paragraph. repurposes Donne’s commentary
used examples from
✔ Quotes aren’t necessarily on the requirement for acceptance
earlier essays, of their for one to be at peace with death
long but purposeful!
own or others and this in the cyclical restructuring of ​W;t.​
✔ Use evaluative
diminished engagement In the opening stage directions,
language to make your
with this question. the imagery depicts Vivian in “two
point effective and
● You must be able to hospital gowns … hospital ID
authoritative.
decide which examples bracelet” showcasing her fragility
should be used to and weakness during her
impending journey towards the
answer the question at
end of her life. Edson’s use of the
hand.
medical choice for death is
● To wrap up your reflective of her postmodern
paragraph, reiterate the context, and depicts Vivian’s
main idea and reinforce acceptance of her morality in her
how this proves your choice of “DNR: do not
thesis. resuscitate”, resonating with
Donne’s values and ideas. In the
concluding stage directions of the
play, a symbolic call-back is made
to the opening stage directions as
Vivian is described to leave the
world as “... naked and beautiful
…” as the parallelism shows the
symbolic removal of the hospital
gowns and bracelet, indicating that
she was at peace with her
mortality. By utilising a
postmodern, secular approach,
Edson repurposes the values and
ideas present in Donne’s “This is
my playes last scene”,
recontextualising the human
struggle that is the acceptance of
one’s mortality.

TIPS FROM YOUR MARKER

● Punctuate the title of a text. Be consistent with this. Don’t underline the title one time and then use
inverted commas the next time.
● Strive not to use acronyms to refer to the title of a text. (AARGH!!!) ​Remember one of your criteria is
“using language appropriate to audience, purpose and form”; acronyms do not show that you are in
control of your style and language.
● Choose connectives that develop your argument in a cohesive way and aid you in developing a
well-structured response. You can and should refer to the ‘textual conversation’ as a means of
establishing this connection. Other words from the rubric can also serve in this manner. Examples of
further effective connectives with an academic register include but are not limited to: ​in a similar vein;
extending this idea; on the other hand; by adapting the concept/theme; due to; this stands in contrast
to;​ …
● Avoid top and tail paragraphs, where the last sentence of each paragraph simply reads, “Hence Edson’s
repurposing of Donne’s poetry shows her understanding of mortality.” – or similar. The words of the
question may be used but the specific intent of the question is not being demonstrated. This can also
lead you to be accused of #logicjumping!!

CONCLUSION

Your conclusion should reinstate the question, surmise the main ideas you used throughout the essay
and reiterate your thesis.
Most students completed the essay and wrote a coherent conclusion. :)

MARKER’S FEEDBACK GUIDELINES SAMPLE

In conclusion, Edson has

A good conclusion is like the ✔Do not include new
repurposed, to great effect,
wrapping on a present. Without examples or content.
Donne’s poems to reinvigorate the
it the contents are the same but ✔Limit this to two sentences role of spiritual faith and
the overall effect is not as maximum. self-awareness in elevating
pleasing. ✔If you run out of time, forfeit individuals’ perceptions of death.
the conclusion, not analysis. Through the numerous references
However, you should not ✔ However, a good conclusion in her narrative and
sacrifice analysis for a is really your last chance to characterisation of Vivian
conclusion, especially if you are pack a punch and prove to compared to Donne’s personas
and stories, and her dissonances
working in first draft conditions. your marker that you
in the beliefs embodied by her
answered the question
contemporary context and
clearly and concisely. Donne’s seventeenth-century
context, Edson has successfully
repurposed an age-old narrative to
convey timeless truths about
human values.

TIPS FROM YOUR MARKER

 ● Conclusions should do more than restate what was presented in your introduction.
● Students are advised to re-read the ‘relate’ section of their body paragraphs and consider what the
take-away message truly is. Use these conclusions (drawn from your analysis) to better surmise
how you have unpacked your thesis.
● ALSO, do not sacrifice your body paragraph to write your conclusion. Where are you getting your
marks?? In your body paragraphs or your conclusion??

MOVING FORWARD

As a general piece of advice, all students are encouraged to re-consider the structure of their response.
You have been gifted with the structural guide of STAR which works harmoniously with Module A.

For the following activity you will need highlighters (or coloured pens) to section off in your response, your
trial module A response and a positive attitude (ha!)

For the four sections of the STAR structure, highlight in your response where you have addressed the
structure.

You can use the example below.

Please note!!
Context is important (literally when you hear mod A you must silently say context and values) and can be
included in your text grounding or analysis. What is MOST important is that when you stipulate your context
you add the issues/values which arise from this. CONTEXT IS THERE TO REVEAL WHY YOUR
COMPOSER CHOSE TO MAKE A TEXT WHICH HIGHLIGHTED THE VALUES/ISSUES OF YOUR
DISCUSSION. ​Sorry to yell, but this truly was a massive distinguishing feature of an A and B.

As you can see in the example below, the connection to Donne’s and Edson’s context circulates around
death. Please deviate from adding fun facts like, A statue of Donne was the one statue from the old St.
Paul’s to escape the Great Fire of 1666 (​cool but why??)​ and ensure your context is relevant regardless of it
stemming from your textual grounding or analysis. ​Look, no one did have that incredibly interesting fact… but
I hope you see my point!

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? IN YOUR RESPONSE

1. Statement It is ​through the continuation of time that we see how attitudes

Identify the first idea you will towards mortality have changed.
discuss, linked to a value [1
sentence]
Donne’s poem​ ‘Death be not proud’ offers the counter-narrative
2. Text Grounding that death is not to be feared; it is natural and will bring an
Ground both texts in this idea [1-2 individual to the afterlife. This is in accordance with a society
sentence(s)] that perpetuated great anxiety over the shift from Catholicism to
the Church of England. Dissonantly, Edson’s play ‘W;t’ delves
into the finite nature of death reflecting a society which did not
believe in the afterlife and so seeked to experience everything
on Earth.

3. Analysis The personification​ of death “death be not proud, some have

Begin analysis of text 1, providing called thee mighty and dreadful; for thou art not soe” reassures
the first example and supporting a society dependent on religion that death is not something that
quotes/features of the they should fear. Donne offers a counterargument in order to
text/reference to contextual reassure a society dependent on religion that death is not
influence [2-3 sentences] something that they should fear. Donne offers a
Begin analysis of text 2, providing counterargument in order to reassure those in society who
one parallel example and have thought of death as ‘mighty and dreadful’ that it is not.
supporting Additionally Edson’s use of dramatic irony “I know all about life
quotes /features of the and death, I am a scholar of John Donne afterall’ highlights the
text/reference to contextual dissonance in values overtime. Constructing Vivian to speak
influence [2-3 sentences] with high modality emphasises that the character believes she
Remember to use a valid knows all about life and death but as responders soon see, she
connective when moving from cowers in the face of death. Thus illustrating that when
text 1 to text 2! individuals are confronted with their own mortality their
reactions are uncontrolled and unexpected. Moreover, Donne’s
Return to analysis ​of text 1, use of extended metaphor “one short sleepe past and wee shall
providing the second example wake eternally” further affirms his narrative reassuring
and supporting individuals of the powerless nature of death. This comparison
quotes/features of the to death as eternal life offers a positive non-fearing connection
text/reference to contextual to mortality. Contrastingly, Edson's use of stage directions and
influence [2-3 sentences] wavering tone “ (crying)... I don’t feel so sure of myself
Return to analysis of text 2, anymore… oh yes I used to feel so sure”, showcases to the
providing the second parallel responder that now confronted with mortality her realisation is
example and supporting different. The intention depiction of Vivian, lost of words
quotes/features of text/reference enforced through use of tone and ellipsis, further highlights her
to contextual influence [2-3 fear of death. Edson juxtaposes the headstrong and high
Sentences] Remember to use a modality Vivian in the opening to the uncertain and stream of
valid connective when moving conscious meander when met with her own mortality. .
from text 1 to text 2!

4. Relate Vivian encapsulates​ the uncertainty of Edson’s context which

Evaluate how a comparative differs from the sense of certainty of Donne’s. Vivian does not
study heightens responders accept the same narrative for death as Donne has created but
understanding of instead surrenders and reveals the vulnerability in approaching
... (whatever is in the question) death. In this way, Edson reengages with Donne to repurpose
his narrative of death into one that better reflects the
uncertainty of modern society.
 HURLSTONE AGRICULTURAL HIGH SCHOOL - ENGLISH FACULTY
HSC ENGLISH ADVANCED – TRIAL HSC FEEDBACK – MODULE B

TASK DETAILS

This was a Module B essay response. You were required to respond to the following question:

“The purpose of a writer is to keep civilisation from destroying itself.” --Albert Camus.
Considering the idea in the stimulus provided, critically analyse how your interpretation of the enduring relevance of a
central idea in the text you have studied had been shaped by the text’s construction.

This question was accessible but challenging accessible because it incited a personal response from you (a key component of
Module B; challenging because it included a stimulus which required synthesis with your personal response. It was also challenging
because the question has two parts which must be synchronised and addressed in a conceptual yet strategic way – infusing a
response which directly addressed the quote and the question which focused on the central idea and the ways Shakespeare
constructed his text to retain relevance across contexts. There is no ONE WAY to do this. But, you did need to think about and
know how you wanted to execute your argument to manage the question in a skilful way, which is the key descriptor for a band 6
response.

Use the following feedback and guidelines for improvement, alongside the samples to evaluate your response and to work on
improving your Module B responses.

Let’s Unpack the Question and Possible Arguments We Could Have Taken:

“The purpose of a writer is to keep civilisation from destroying itself.” --Albert Camus.
Considering the idea in the stimulus provided, critically analyse how your interpretation of the enduring relevance of a
central idea in the text you have studied had been shaped by the text’s construction.

Planning:
- Unpack all aspects of the question “purpose of writer, texts constriction, civilization from destroying itself,
- Modern example ensure it links to your argument better and more authentically, and provide strong evidence for it.
- Plan for 2 minutes so have different edges during the
- Paper 2
 Let’s Revise Our Module Statement (Again...)

This is where all the magic happens...

In this module, students develop detailed analytical and critical knowledge, understanding and appreciation of a substantial literary
text. Through increasingly informed and personal responses to the text in its entirety, students understand the distinctive qualities of
the text, notions of textual integrity and significance.

Students study one prescribed text. Central to this study is the close analysis of the text’s construction, content and language to
develop students’ own rich interpretation of the text, basing their judgements on detailed evidence drawn from their research and
reading. In doing so, they evaluate notions of context with regard to the text’s composition and reception; investigate and evaluate the
perspectives of others; and explore the ideas in the text, further strengthening their informed personal perspective.

Students have opportunities to appreciate and express views about the aesthetic and imaginative aspects of the text by composing
creative and critical texts of their own. Through reading, viewing or listening they critically analyse, evaluate and comment on the text’s
specific language features and form. They express complex ideas precisely and cohesively using appropriate register, structure and
modality. They draft, appraise and refine their own texts, applying the conventions of syntax, spelling and grammar appropriately.

Opportunities for students to engage deeply with the text as a responder and composer further develops personal and intellectual
connections with the text, enabling them to express their considered perspective of its value and meaning.

Unpack each of the key terms from the Module Statement (in your own words preferably):

develop detailed analytical and critical knowledge,

- Module has to be a combination of both ANALYTICAL and CRITICAL knowledge, have to analyse text within and critically
outside

increasingly informed and personal responses to the text in its entirety,

- Essay should have a large focus on PERSONAL and INFORMED responses to provide a cohesive, strong and personal
response.

the distinctive qualities of the text, notions of textual integrity and significance.

- Focus on the distinctive components and features of a text (soliloquy, stage directions, act structure, dramatic irony, breaking
the fourth wall) etc. as these provide stronger, succinct analysis which can be linked a lot more smoother. (Think construction)

- Features of Form (History Play, 5 Act Structure, Stage Directions)

- Features of Style (What Shakespeare brings to a text) (iambic pentameter vs blank verse, soliloquys, monologues, figurative
language. Inclusive pronouns, power of rhetoric)
 - close analysis of the text’s construction

- 100% of the time, the question will focus on the texts construction and purpose of the writer, make sure this link is explicity
within the analysis

detailed evidence drawn from their research and reading.

- Evidence and analysis should be strong, ALSO based on other research and informed reading (modern link, critic readings,
other perspectives)

evaluate notions of context with regard to the text’s composition and reception; investigate and evaluate the perspectives of others;
and explore the ideas in the text, further strengthening their informed personal perspective.

MARKER’S COMMENTS, ADVICE AND SAMPLE RESPONSE

The Introduction

● A good introduction is concise but includes all the information required to preamble the argument that will be substantiated
through a discussion of the text(s).
● Include a thesis that answers ALL aspects of the question by including some of the key concepts stated in the stimulus and the
question. You do not necessarily need to quote the stimulus word for word.
● DO not include specific examples or techniques in the introduction. DO make mention of distinctive features and the
construction of the text.
● Embed some aspect of context that is relevant to your argument to highlight what Shakespeare was influenced by in his
construction of his play.
● Show where your essay is heading by briefly showcasing what you will later speak about in your body paragraphs.

Teachers’ Comments Guidelines for future Mod B responses Sample

Answer the question immediately and directly. ✔ Use the wording of the question The purpose of a writer, and of
● The best way to do this was to reword the and elaborate on each part to literature, is to write stories that
question, elaborating on each part. This also ensure you are not just are reflections of both the
included the stimulus that you were provided. rephrasing the question. strengths and weaknesses of
● You must not alternate/substitute words in the ✔ When there are parts to the humanity, thus ensuring readers
question. For example continue to speak to 21st question, develop your ideas will recognise what it takes to
Century readers and enduring relevance are not methodically. keep humanity from destroying
synonymous, you need to unpack this further. ✔ Use 1-2 sentences to build your itself.
The question used the quote from Camus to thesis (I know a lot of you have
get you to consider how canonical texts carry been conditioned to strictly use 1
perennial messages which allow audiences to but this is not always useful and (Thesis option 1 – focus on
reflect on their own flaws to avoid humanity can be very limiting). strengths/weaknesses and
from destroying itself across time. It also provide a moral message for the
✔ Try to use elaboration as a way
encouraged you to consider how this audience to showcase how
to begin developing your thesis.
message still resonates with 21st century literature can influence
✔ To elaborate on a question, you
audiences to showcase what we can still learn individuals to reflect on their own
divide into noun groups or
from this text in our own context. flaws to avoid humanity from
clauses and ask questions for
● When you chop and change the phrasing of the further destroying itself).
each part.
question you are, in effect, writing a new
question. This is poor essay form and you
cannot achieve a good mark if you do not Literature can reveal to
address the question. audiences the ways in which
power can be manifested by
civilisation to destroy itself. In the
● To establish a thesis that is clear and ✔ Be specific. Establish a rehemerted play ‘King Henry IV
purposeful you had to elaborate on all parts of the conceptual thesis that draws Part 1’, Shakespeare represents
question. from a common theme from the the dichotomies of soft power
● There were two parts to the question: core text and the related text. and hard power as enduring
­ - The stimulus paradigms of destruction within
­ - Drawing on a key idea and speaking about society, and how they are
the ways in which Shakespeare constructs manifested by political leaders to
his play for it to retain relevance in our 21st respectively persuade or coerce
century context. populations.
● You needed to elaborate on each part throughout
OR (thesis option 2 – focus on
your response.
leadership, politics and forms of
● You need to avoid stating the entire stimulus and
power).
instead embed some concepts of the quote
throughout your response with your references to
the question.
Narratives which centralise
● If you asked a question for each part, this would
around universal, transcendent
have helped you elaborate and this will also
themes are able to endure the
develop your thesis. test of time despite contextual
● What is the enduring relevance of text? differences...Such a narrative is
● What does it have to “say” that it hasn’t finished relevant to modern readers as
saying? This is where you needed to be usurping power through
conceptual eg. Ideas about honour, leadership, illegitimate means has become
power, corruption etc) the dominant narrative in the
● HOW is it relevant for 21st Century audiences not political sphere. Hence this study
just stating that it is. allows for civilisation to be better
prepared against political
destruction.
OR (thesis option 3--focus on
power, narratives, political
destruction).
● You should finish the introduction with an ✔ Be concise. Influenced by the remodelling of
outline of the main ideas, and you should ✔ Combine the outline and the sovereign power and the
also in the case of this Module B question, sourcing of texts to be metanarratives of the
position how the texts shapes your discussed. Renaissance paradigm,
understanding in the 21st century and ✔ Remember to punctuate the Shakespeare dramatically
through this you will show an appreciation text accurately. constructs antithetical characters
for the text (another key component from to represent the impacts of these
✔ If you are stretched for time,
the module statement). behaviours within society and
you could leave out the
politics. Respectively,
outline in the introduction and
Shakespeare shows Hal’s
 This should be infused with your thesis just source the texts to be conformity to societal
statement. examined in the essay. expectations to prevent chaos
● Includes aspects of context to show how and turmoils in the social sphere,
Shakespeare was influenced by his era in the while the feral Falstaff
construction of his play. hedonistically defies these
constructs, causing turbulence in
the structure of society.

(This examples shows you ways

in which you can include context
and expand on the question).

The Body Paragraphs

● Expect to write between 900-1100 words in the body of your essay.

● A good paragraph builds one part of the argument. All paragraphs eventually combine to prove the thesis as a whole. A
distinguishing feature of good analysis is the judicious selection of examples and techniques – choosing the quotes that best
support your idea and using these to develop your argument.
● Decide how many body paragraphs you will use by taking into consideration the scope within the question and how many steps
you need to develop a clear and strategic question.
● Consider the following advantages and disadvantages for the three types of scaffolds outlined.
Features of Scaffold 1 Scaffold 2 Scaffold 3
a body 2 body paragraphs 3 body paragraphs 2 body paragraphs
paragraph Positives Issues Positives Issues Positives Issues
In this scaffold 2 ideas are used to In this scaffold three ideas are used to In this scaffold ONE idea is
develop the thesis develop the thesis used to develop a thesis
Statement 2 topic You need to 3 clear and A lot of ideas to tackle One clear Sustaining a
sentences for the ensure that specific topic in a short time. and skilful discussion
essay you’re topic sentences specific may prove more
sentences, topic challenging. An
whilst focused sentence. in depth
on different knowledge of
idea, address the idea needs
the question. to be
established and
maintained.
Text Textual Challenge to Analysis in each You will probably not
grounding grounding is make sure paragraph is be able to go as in
needed after you’re textual immediately depth in each
each topic grounding is not linked to the paragraph due to time
sentence to link retelling the play topic sentence. constraints. Quality
the idea you are and connects to over quantity.
discussing in the two different Shows breadth
each paragraph ideas. of knowledge.
to the question
and what aspects
of the play you
want to focus on.
Analysis your analysis Paragraphs can Analysis can be Links between the text Paragraphs
following each become quite more succinct and the 21st Century become quite
quote will be long so structure and if done must be established to long and you
linked to the idea and flow is correctly, you ensure the three ideas need to be able
you are something to can use the are working together. to really draw out
discussing and consider. judiciously This will be analysis of ONE
this specificity selected challenging! idea and
examples to You will be relying on substantiate its
 can make your answer the less textual evidence connection to the
essay insightful. question. per idea to make your question.
point. This is risky!
This is the same
Relate for all scaffolds
you follow, you
must relate back
(ideally in your
analysis) and
especially at the
end of the
paragraph to the
question. Think
about “why is
what I am
discussing
important to the
question/stimulu
s I have been
offered?”
● Many students used scaffold 1 for this part of the trials. You should spend some time writing essays in the different scaffolds to
find the one that works for you and suits you.
● Think about which scaffold is suited to a question with multiple parts when you plan your response. Also note that the scaffold you
choose may change for different types of questions.
● Remember, there is no need to examine all characters and ideas in King Henry. You could write an entire essay purely on the
idea/representation of honour, and have one paragraph unpacking what this looks like through Prince Hal, then another paragraph
positioning this against the representation of Hotspur. There’s no one way to approach this.
● Scaffold 1 is the preferred scaffold and can give you maximal results if done correctly. Scaffold 2 is problematic due to time
constraints.
● Students who used scaffold 2 tend to not achieve the depth of analysis which is required to hit an A range.

Use the comments and guidelines provided in the following table to evaluate your own writing for the assessment task.

Teacher’s Comment Guidelines Sample

● Topic sentences were not ✔ Present a clear EXAMPLE 1

always clearly connected and specific statement
Through constructing inchly humanlike characters riddled
to the main ideas in the that is linked to your
with vices, that at times outweigh their virtue, writers
introduction. thesis.
confront us with the reality that man is inherently imperfect
● You should be relating the ✔ Both the and emotionally complex when met with his deepest
topic sentence to the question and a part of insecurities.
question. your thesis need to be
echoed in the topic
sentence EXAMPLE 2
Power has the ability to tempt those in positions of authority
to employ deceptive means to gain political power.
Shakespeare’s constructions of prince Hal and King Henry’s
deceptive facade warns audiences against politicians who
manipulate the public for power.

● Good analysis is based ✔To move from the topic EXAMPLE 1

on clarity and a specific sentence to the text,
As such, Shakespeare’s ‘Henry IV’ asserts to us that only
focus being applied to the you should provide a
through a recognition of our flaws are we able to keep
text. concise summary of
civilisation from destroying its senses of identity and itself.
● Too many students used the text, relative to the
the text grounding idea you just
sentence as a way to established.
EXAMPLE 2
summarise the text. This ✔ Be concise and
is not the purpose of this precise. How does this The play serves to dispel uncertainty around Elizabeth I’s
sentence. Rather, set up text relate to the idea reign by cautioning audiences against such potential
your analysis of the text in your topic successors.
by establishing the focus sentence?
or lens.

● Your analysis must show ✔Remember to write EXAMPLE 1

evidence of your ability to from out-side the text
synthesise. You should (ie “Shakespeare
 also develop a cohesive respresents” or
Roche asserts that Shakespeare perceptively constructs a
discussion of relevant “Shakespeare
“piece meal mosaic” of his characters whereby we are
examples that constructs” NOT “King
encouraged to subvert the first four acts of the play, to
substantiate the argument Henry does” blah.
maintain its focus on crafting his characters through a wide
you have established. ✔ All references to
variety of seemingly inconspicuous situations and
● Too many students used techniques or features
experiences. It is only in Act 4, whereby audiences are
examples which did not of writing must be
positioned to recognise the fermenting and festering tension
work well together and preceded with the
that culminates in ‘The battle of Shrewsbury’ where we are
seemed to just present author’s name.
not with the conflict of each of the characters most distinctive
what you may have ✔ Develop clear flaws and vulnerabilities. As such, the integrity of the play as
thought are impressive references that are a piece which foreshadows the self destruction and descent
nuggets of knowledge based on episode(s) in of humanity maintains its poignancy within his subsercive
(hint, nothing is the text and supported constructive of deeply vulnerable characters. Most notably,
impressive if you’re with purposeful use of whilst Hal is often viewed as the paradigm of real politic that
putting in there just to quotes. Aim to we as an audience are truly able to identify with the modern
impress – it’s about integrate quotes and man within a potent blend of Falstaff and Hotspur who are
analysis). These were analysis. both un-unified by their deepest insecurities. This becomes
obviously from prepared
✔Link ideas to the crystalised through Falstaff’s catechism of honour as “herd
essays (Matrix I see you).
responder and how we who thus had it/ He died yesterday”, forcing us to recognise
● You must be able to are positioned as 21st the futility of such intangible concepts used by those in
decide which examples Century responders IF authority to manipulate the collective. As such, within
should be used to answer it flows. Otherwise Hotspur’s scathing sarcastic comment to his wife whereby
the question at hand. A leave this until the final he taunts her “how will I get thee? Well of course on my horse
skilful response considers sentence of the love” we are able to empathise with his character, unlike Hal
the selection of textual paragraph. and thus forgive him for his ethical breaches and continued
examples. They need to code of honours as we recognise his insecurities concerning
work together to build his masculinity. However, it is ultimately this masculinity that
towards your thesis and Shakespeare indicates which culminates to the violent
answering the question. destruction of mankind.

EXAMPLE 2- Complete paragraph

In Hal’s soliloquy Shakespeare characterises Hal’s frivolous
behaviour as a facade within “so when this loose behaviour
I throw of/...By how much better than my word I am/ By so
much shall I falsify men’s hopes.” The first person narration
and the active verb of “throw” and personified “loose
behaviour” indicates Hal’s awareness of carrying out his
intention of deceiving the masses. Shakespeare’s
construction of the soliloquy positions responders to
consider Hal’s manipulative character that reflect the
duplicitous nature of politicians through the contrast between
Hal’s private, deceptive motivations and waywards
demeanor. Kristin Bezio (2016) discusses “the significance
of sovereign performance to the maintenance of power.”
Elaborating on Bezio’s idea, Hal’s facade is used to obtain
the support of the lower class which is necessary for political
power to lead England. Subsequently, Shakespeare
metaphorically reflects that Hal’s true purpose is to “drink
with any tinker in his own language” where the third person
possession “his” deliberately segregates Hal and the
commoners, highlighting Hal’s exploitive intentions to
socially amalgamate with the lower class to gain political
traction of his future subjects. Shakespeare constructs this
monologue in prose to appeal to the lower class trust by
distancing Hal’s character from the cunningness associated
with nobility, further shaping our distrusted view of Hal.
Likewise, King Henry usurped the throne through deceptive
means, admitting that “I stole all courtesy from heavy.”
Through the oxymoron of “stole” and “courtesy” and the
connotations to duplicity where Henry “dressed myself in
sich humility/that I did pluck allegiance from men’s hearts,”
Shakespeare characteristics King Henry as a manipulator
who gained power through a falsified image that appealed to
 the populace. Consequently, Shakespeare unveils the
corruption of the integrity of leadership to caution audiences
to always critically examine politicians who have the ability
to deceive us as we ourselves will be manipulated by similar
figures. In our context, Hal and Henry’s ascension through
deceptive means parallels Scott Morrison, who decisively
utilised Dutton as a pawn to explore Turnbull’s vulnerabilities
which he then explored to obtain his prime ministership.

● To wrap up your ✔ Write no more EXAMPLE 1

paragraph, reiterate the than two sentences.
In saying this, within Hotspur and Falstaff, as an audience
main idea and reinforce ✔ Do not include the values rawly transparent and unabashed characters over
how this proves your new examples. the medieval concept of primogeniture and political facades,
thesis. ✔ Use evaluative we resonate with these characters as the dying
language to make your representations of humanity and our emotional
point effective and vulnerabilities.
authoritative.

EXAMPLE 2
Therefore, through Shakespeare’s construction of Hal and
Henry, he presents the enduring message that power
catalyses deception, aiming to keep audiences aware of
manipulative political strategies to ensure we continue to
defend against such politicians and don’t destroy civilisation.

● Repeat the above for the subsequent body paragraphs.

The Conclusion

Your conclusion should reinstate the question, surmise the main ideas you used throughout the essay and reiterate your thesis.
Many students ran out of time and so did not manage to write one.

Teacher’s Comment Guidelines Sample

A good conclusion is like the ✔ Do not include Shakespeare constructs ‘Henry IV, Part I’ as a didactical
wrapping on a present. new examples or text that aims to warn audiences on the severe
Without it the contents are the content. consequences of power to ensure we remain alert to
same but the overall affect is ✔ Limit this to two leaders who have the ability to destroy civilisation. Hence,
not as pleasing. sentences maximum. Shakespeare’s evocative characterisation represents the
✔ If you run out of enduring relevance of the corruptibility of power.
However, you should not time, forfeit the
sacrifice analysis for a conclusion, not
conclusion, especially if you analysis.
are working in first draft
conditions.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

Written Expression and Cohesion

● Do not compensate clarity in written expression at the expense of ‘sophistication’ in vocabulary. Your thesaurus is not your
friend. It is deceptive and it could be trying to trap you in a lower range grade…
● Using key words from the question throughout your response is imperative because it shows the marker that you are attempting
to answer the question. But do not hide behind these terms – ensure you have unpacked the key components (e.g you cannot
keep repeating a “text never finishes saying what it has to say” which saying what the text ACTUALLY has to “say”. Make
sense?)
● Source your text clearly using the composer’s full name, text’s full title, and year of publication in the introduction. There is no
need after this to repeat the full name of the composer or the full name of the text. Refer to the play as King Henry after writing
the entire title in the introduction (do NOT write K.H).
● Punctuate the title of the text. Be consistent with this. Don’t underline the title one time and then use inverted commas the
next time.
● Do not use acronyms to refer to the title of a text (in bold for emphasis).
● Choose connectives that develop your argument in a cohesive way and aid you in developing a well-structured response.
Examples of effective connectives with an academic register include but are not limited to: in a similar vein; Extending this idea;
on the other hand, by adapting the character; However, due to, this stands in contrast to…
● Avoid overuse of the same connective. In addition, do not use a connective that isn’t actually building ideas by definition of the
connector (that is, when you write ‘however’, the idea after this connector should provide an alternate point of view. On the
other hand, when you write ‘moreover’ the idea after this is not a new one but continuing to elaborate on the previous point.
So, in the weeks leading up to the HSC, revise connectives and practise how they can be used as tools of cohesion to build
your argument, not just to link the sentences in your paragraphs.
● Avoid top and tail paragraphs, where the last sentence of each paragraph simply reads, “Hence honour is shown in
Shakespeare’s play as an important concept which has relevance for a 21st Century audience”.
● Do not throw in a critic if it does not relate to your points, or at the expense of compromising your own analysis. The marker is
always more interested in what YOU have to say about the text and the question.

General Comments
● Skillful responses focused on the enduring relevance of the play for a 21st Century audience, the way in which the play serves
as a vehicle which warns against humanity’s downfall. The stimulus was considered holistically to form a thesis and infused
with an understanding of 21st Century relevance. Textual examples selected were insightful in that they demonstrated a strong
understanding of textual form, and worked to demonstrate how Shakespeare CONSTRUCTED his ideas through stylistic
features in the play.
● Effective responses engaged with the stimulus but students were not always able to sustain the thesis or synthesise the
argument through to the end of the essay. These responses often relied on explanation rather than analysis of the text, though
they did offer some adequate analysis of textual details and features to support their ideas. In these responses, the analysis of
text was not always connected back to the question and relevance to the 21st Century. Students who achieved in this range
were able to write clear responses that weren’t affected by consistent errors though expression could be tighter.
● Adequate responses relied heavily on explanation and were unable to engage in a suitable level of textual analysis and/ the
stimulus. References to textual features were limited and the discussion of these was superficial. The language in these
responses was often colloquial, segmented and demonstrated variable control of the writing mechanics. Students who
achieved in this band were able to establish a thesis but were not able to sustain it.

The BIGGEST factor contributing to a mark below an A range was an inability to engage with specific techniques/stylistic
features of a play. There were techniques which were included in the body paragraphs which were insignificant holistically to
the overall text. A random metaphor or simile is not significant, in comparison to dramatic irony, asides, monologues, soliloquies,
stage directions etc. (use these techniques to show the marker you understand the “distinct features” of the text’s construction
which is a key component of the Module B statement which focuses on textual integrity).

Another big factor for being limited to a low B or below was an inability to engage with the question: many responses simply
said “Shakespeare’s play remains relevant for 21st Century responders” without ever once delving into WHY. Most concerningly,
were the amount of essays which were discussing the corruptible force of leadership and familial relationships. Whilst these
arguments are fine, not many essays linked these to the stimulus. So if you were recycling the idea of the corruptible force of
leadership, that is fine! But, many of you did not take the next step which was to say that Shakespeare explores the corruptible
force of leadership, in order to warn mankind against contributing to its own downfall (or something along those lines).

You need to be a bit more game, and draw upon personal/societal context to establish a clear and logical argument as to WHY
it remains a relevant text in the 2000’s and WHAT the play shows us about humanity’s destruction. Imagine one of your teachers
standing over your shoulder during the exam and screaming “why?” every time you made a sweeping statement such as “this
remains relevant for modern audiences”. When you can longer answer “why”, then you have adequately delved deep enough
�

FROM ASSESSMENT OF LEARNING TO ASSESSMENT AS LEARNING – 3 Rs

Reflect

Answer these questions as you re-engage with the task and refine your approach to the question, in preparation for your HSC
● Did you clearly state what the relevance of the quote by Albert Camus is?
● Did you identify what aspect of the text is relevant to 21st Century readers? More importantly, did you state WHY?
● Did you think about what the text is trying to explore in regards to the destruction of civilisation? What aspects highlight this
concept? How is this enduring/perennial and transcends beyond the intended context of the text’s inception?
● To address the scope within the question in a way that is meaningful you had to be able to marry the point about the text
showing us the potential for civilisation to destroy itself, and amalgamating this with how it remains relevant for a 21st Century
audience.
● Did you have a solid understanding of how to analyse different characters in relation to different ideas? I.e. Hotspur, Prince
Hal, King Henry, Falstaff. All these characters relate to many of the ideas in the text (such as honour, leadership, integrity etc)
however, some of your responses showed that this understanding was not developed. Remember, with this Module you CAN
be asked a character or text specific question. A lot of you showed in various parts that this knowledge is under-developed. Do
not be afraid to get personal and establish an opinion about any of the four main characters.

● Did you include a point or two from a critic/s? If you did, was it a throwaway sentence? Or did you use conjunctions to synthesise
the critic’s response with your own? Eg. This complex characterisation of Prince Hal is echoed by Suzanne Andre who presents
the idea that the play is very much an exploration of “INSERT RELEVANT QUOTE”.

Revise

Traffic Lights Strategy to Identify Areas for Improvement

Use this Assessment Task response to identify areas for improvement in your AOS essay and to determine if you know what to do
to improve or if you’ll need to ask for help.

What you need:

Post it notes/different colours are ideal OR
Red/Pink highlighter
Orange highlighter
Green highlighter
OR three different coloured pens
A copy of the response written during the assessment task time.

What to do:
You will be reading your response at least 4 times.
1. Read and reflect on the feedback sheet comments and advice. Answer the reflection questions on page 5.
2. Read to identify areas for improvement, for which you know how to address the issues in your writing.
Highlight these parts of your essay in green.
On a post it note labelled ‘FIX’, using dot points, outline what you need to do to improve this part of the response.
Examples of these areas might include:
⮚ Sourcing texts accurately.
⮚ Omitting overuse of the full name of the composer or the full title of the text.
⮚ Fixing misuse of connectives.
⮚ Identifying where you have chopped and changed the question.
⮚ Identifying phrases that you could omit from your writing to write more concisely (DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?).
For example: ‘A technique used by Shakespeare to represent this idea is metaphor. The metaphor in the quote “***”
shows ***’. Too many words!
3. Read the response again, looking to highlight areas for improvement that you are aware of and for which you have some idea
how to fix BUT will need someone (perhaps a peer) to check over for you.
Highlight these parts in orange.
On a post it note labeled ‘DO’, explain how you can fix each issue you have identified.
Examples of the types of issues that you can look for include:
⮚ Highlight topic sentences that refer to the text. On the post it note, you would write: use a topic sentence that is
nominalized with an idea and no reference to the text.
⮚ Text grounding sentence is just a summary of the text and does not clearly relate to the idea in the topic sentence.
⮚ Muddled expression.
4. Read the essay one last time �, looking to highlight any glaring issues in your response for which you have no idea how to
begin improving the response.
Highlight these parts in red (or pink – because I haven’t seen many red highlighters!)
On a post it note labelled ‘ASK’, write questions to ask your teacher so that you can move these questions to a FIX post it.

Rework
Rewrite your essay. Pair up with a peer and arrange to mark each other’s improved response. Those who work together, learn
together and improve together.
 HURLSTONE AGRICULTURAL HIGH SCHOOL - ENGLISH FACULTY
HSC ENGLISH ADVANCED –TRIAL HSC FEEDBACK
PAPER 2 - MODULE C

THE QUESTION
Part A: Choose a minor character from one of the texts you have studied in Module A or Module B or
Module. Compose an imaginative response from the perspective of this character, exploring his or
her reaction to a significant episode. This may or may not be an episode from the original text.
Part B: Justify how you have used features of language in Part A to create an authentic perspective,
inspired by the representation of this character in the prescribed text.

This question has two parts for you to address and instructs you to write imaginatively in Part A and reflectively
in Part B.

In Part B you are instructed to create an authentic perspective but this is not included in Part A. Therefore it is
fundamentally important to read and understand the requirements of the entire question before beginning your
response.

Use the following feedback and guidelines for improvement, to evaluate your response and to work on improving
your Module C response for the Trial HSC and for subsequent responses you will write in preparation for the HSC.

UNPACKING THE QUESTION

KEY LINK TO THE MODULE IDEAS TO CONSIDER
WORD/PHRASE IN
THE QUESTION
Part A
minor character imitate specific aspects of writing – MINOR character - not a dominant one.
narrative, character. Choose a character that enables you to
create an authentic significant episode.
Module A, B or C. Selected texts from any module as Which text allows you to best do this? Don’t
well as Module C will allow insight use a prescribed text that focusses on the
into aspects of writing craft. commentary of writing when creating an
imaginative response.
Imaginative imaginative recreation: sustained Form not specified - therefore choices are
response and cohesive composition; apply very wide. Choosing a straight short story
their knowledge of textual forms and narrative may indicate less experimentation
features of writing during the year.
perspective imitate specific aspects of writing – Experiment with narrative voice. !st, 2nd
narrative, perspective and 3rd person.
reaction convey ideas and emotions with Avoid cliches, avoid melodramatic
power and precision; to express emotional responses. Avoid flat
insights and evoke emotion characterisation.
significant episode complex ideas Keep the story limited in time and place - it’s
an episode - not a saga.
Part B
justify Evaluate how writers (including you) How do you prove that your imaginative
use language creatively and response reveals an authentic perspective
imaginatively to shape a from your chosen character. Is your choice
perspective; evaluate the versatility, of language features reasonable for the
power and aesthetics of language character that has been created? Why?
 This links to your learning from the other
modules.
how explain the effects of your writing How did you do this? You must be very
choices for audiences and purposes. familiar with narrative elements and have
practised identifying them in your own
writing.
language features comment on specific aspects of experiment with sophisticated language
writing – narrative, character, point of features - allusion, intertextuality,
view, argument, figurative language, personification, sensory imagery etc.
genre, perspective, style.
authentic perspective convey ideas and emotions with You need to create a whole character - with
power and precision. dreams, aspirations, conflicts, flaws and
strengths. How can you use dialogue to
emphasise the authenticity of your
character (only a teeny bit or none at all)
inspired aesthetic elements of the text and You need to be very familiar with your
how this may influence your own prescribed texts in all modules.
compositions
representation experiment with various figurative, focus on the show and less on the tell.
rhetorical and linguistic devices, for Indirect representation is a more effective
example allusion, imagery, narrative and sophisticated way to create characters.
voice, characterisation, and tone.
prescribed text a model and stimulus for the Dont write like the composer of the
development of your own writing prescribed text.
style. Don’t write a story directly connected to the
plot of these texts.
Be creative - stretch yourself by accessing
all modules.
MARKER’S COMMENTS AND ADVICE

COMMENTS & GUIDELINES

PART A
✔ Start with the specific requirements you need to include in your imaginative response. Too many students missed
1 or 2 of the specific elements required. You must create a MINOR character that REACTS to a SIGNIFICANT
EPISODE with an AUTHENTIC PERSPECTIVE.
✔ Write a sustained imaginative response.
- expect to write approximately between 600-800 words in Part A - you should spend the amount of time which
corresponds with the marks allocated. In this paper, you should spend approximately 26 minutes on the
imaginative response.

In better responses, students were able to:

● compose a highly engaging piece of writing that skilfully incorporated these elements.
● effectively used imaginative style in their choice of form.
● evoke and sustain a particular perspective of their chosen character by crafting their language through
figurative, rhetorical and linguistic devices
● demonstrate a transformative element in the character, as stipulated by the question.
● demonstrate an authentic and engaging character appropriate to the purpose and style of the writing
● demonstrate skilful control of language and structure throughout their response, appropriate to audience,
purpose and context.

Areas for students to improve include:

● responding to the requirements of the question in authentic ways to engage the reader
● including the significant episode as an integral aspect of their writing, rather than inserting a perfunctory or
cliched plot device.
● developing and representing complex idea(s), showing insight into how language has been crafted to shape
meaning
● developing an emotional response in the reader from the authentic reaction of the character.
● developing their own authorial, original voice and avoiding emulating the voice of a writer from the prescribed
text(s), unless that is a specific composition choice.
● structuring a response, using one or more of the writing styles, with a specific emphasis on ‘crafting’ their
writing for a specific purpose and audience
● developing clarity, cohesion and skilful control of language to engage the reader.
● develop skill and confidence in writing from a range of narrative perspectives. Too many responses were
pedestrian narratives or recounts that were narrated in first person and did not include any sophisticated
language features - only very basic description.

PART B
✔ Write a sustained response
- Expect to write approximately 400- 500 words in Part B - you should spend the amount of time which
corresponds with the marks allocated - in this paper that would be 18 minutes on the reflection.

✔ A good reflection is based on clarity and a specific focus on your own writing and how it has been informed
by your study of the prescribed text. Your reflection must show evidence of your ability to experiment with
forms and features in an accomplished way. You should also develop a cohesive discussion of relevant
language features examples that substantiate the creation of your chosen character.

- Too many students referred to examples of language features that related more to those used in the
prescribed texts but did not explicitly state that their intention was to imitate the style of the prescribed text.
- You must decide which examples best support HOW and WHY you chose a specific character.
- Remember to write as a composer - use evaluative language to make your points effective and
authoritative.
- All references to techniques or features of writing must be connected to you as the composer, not to the
composers of the prescribed text.
- Aim to integrate quotes from your imaginative response into your justification.
✔ To wrap up your paragraph, reiterate the main compositional decisions and reinforce how this proves that your
character possesses an authentic perspective.

In better responses, students were able to:

● provide a comprehensive explanation of how their language was crafted to create a character that has an
authentic perspective
● specifically and comprehensively address the key word ‘justify’ when responding to their own text and at least
one prescribed text from Module C
● explain how they were influenced by the ideas and craft of their chosen Module C text(s) rather than analyse
these texts in isolation
● engage with textual references using the prescribed text(s) to justify their choices in Part (a)
● organise and synthesise ideas in a cohesively structured response
● demonstrate skilful control of language.
Areas for students to improve include:

● showing a clear awareness of their own crafting of language in order to create authentic characters.
● explaining how various figurative, rhetorical or linguistic features have been used to shape meaning and
engage the audience in their own writing
● explaining the way the prescribed texts inspired their own writing.
● demonstrating a comprehensive evaluation of their own writing in relation to the inspiration of one of the
prescribed texts in Module C. and at least one of the prescribed texts in Module C
● using specific and relevant references to their own writing and the prescribed text(s)
● demonstrating skilful control of language, including syntax, spelling and punctuation.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Answering the Question
PART A:
- When a question includes specific requirements, it is crucial that these be incorporated into the
response in an authentic manner. Too many responses wrote a response in Part A from a dominant
character’s viewpoint, namely Edison, Hal, etc. Where a minor character was selected, too many responses
did create a significant episode or did not create an authentic reaction to it.
- The question gave specific requirements to include in the imaginative response. It was expected that
responses would engage with these ideas in a sophisticated and accomplished way.
PART B:
- responses needed to justify their use of language features. Too many students did not understand what
justify expects. To justify something is to prove its validity, to state how something is reasonable or true.
It was not enough to say that “I used x language feature and therefore my character had an authentic perspective.” You
needed to explain how your study of the prescribed texts, along with your experimentation with specific writing features
inspired you to create your specific character.
Conclusion
✔ Your concluding statement should reinstate the question, summarise the main features you used to create your
character and why they enabled an authentic perspective to be created.
✔ Most students completed their reflection but wrote a limited conclusion.
Part A Structure
The question required you to create an imaginative response. Form was not specified. Therefore you could have written
a short story, diary entry, recount, newspaper article, memoir, biography extract, interview, playscript, etc.
However, the majority of responses were unspecified narratives or recounts that were linear in structure and used 1st
person perspective.
It is vital to demonstrate that you have experimented with FORM and FEATURES in the drafting stage of your study of
the module so that your examination response has a readily identifiable form for the marker. You are expected to have
experimented with narrative structure - only about 20% of responses revealed other styles of narrative structure:
circular, flashback etc.
Skillful responses:
Part A
✔ Focused on the creation of an authentic MINOR character. This character has experienced a SIGNIFICANT episode
and reacts to it.
✔ Wrote a sustained and coherent narrative which used a range of language features in a skillful, sophisticated
manner which demonstrated their ability to write with power and precision.
✔ Wrote in 2nd person or 3rd person
✔ revealed traits of the character in a direct fashion through description, sensory imagery, mood.
✔ the narrative voice was engaging and authentic.

Part B
✔ Began with an introductory statement that addressed the question, outlined the name and type of character and
from which prescribed texts and module this character was created.
✔ Was a sustained evaluation of HOW they represented a minor character’s reaction to a significant episode.
✔ Validated how the prescribed text (s) inspired their compositional choices.
✔ Chose judicious examples of the language features they employed to substantiate their evaluation.
✔ Included a clear concluding statement that summarised the main compositional choices and how they justified an
authentic character.