THE

PREPARED
 THE

PREPARED

© 2024
 TABLE OF CONTENT

Introduction

Chapter 1: What to do While You Wait

Chapter 2: Desperation Must Be Far From You

Chapter 3: Becoming a Complete Woman

Chapter 4: Building a Balanced Relationship with Jesus

Chapter 5: Sis Your High Expectations Can Blind You

© 2024
 INTRODUCTION

“No one goes for an exam without preparing

for it, only those who plan to fail!”

As ladies, we all desire to become brides, wives and even mothers

yet the average young lady walk into marriage with little or no
idea of what to do, who to become and what achieve in marriage.
No one goes for an exam without preparing for it, only those who
plan to fail! The same principle applies in becoming a wife and
mother, without the knowledge you need to succeed you may be
setting yourself up for failure.

Before searching for the perfect dress and shoe for the wedding,
build the right mindset, study about your role and responsibility
as a mother and wife, seek counsel, submit to mentors and gather
substantial knowledge to run with. Becoming a bride goes
beyond the fantasy of a dream wedding but your position as a
wife, mother and helpmeet.

When it was time to prepare for my wedding, many people

wondered at my less concern for things like hair, shoe and even
my dresses. Now relax, I still had to plan but I was not perturbed
by the “latest and trendy” dresses or shoes instead I settled for
what I was comfortable with and could afford. Prior to this time,
I understood that planning and preparing for marriage itself was
more important than having the best wedding ceremony.

It would be a pity if after the whole ceremony; I am unprepared

to face what comes after. In this book, I will be sharing proven
steps to becoming a prepared bride which includes having a
relationship with Jesus, becoming a complete woman, having the
right mindset and living above desperation.

Let’s call this a mini book you could read over and over. As you
expect a more updated version, enjoy! I love you.
 CHAPTER ONE

WHAT TO DO WHILE YOU WAIT

“The best time to prepare for marriage is

before the coming of the groom,”
“The horse is made ready for the day of battle…”
Proverbs 21:31a
’

The world system would always present the fantasies of a

beautiful wedding ceremony, a white flowing dress, a well
decorated hall full of family and friends, butterflies in your belly
and emotions running from here to there but how many of this
people prepared for marriage before the wedding?

You may ask me, Sis what is the need of preparing to be a bride
when I am not engaged or in a relationship? Why wait? Here is
the mistake most ladies make, they wait until they are faced with
different suitors or when planning for the wedding before
preparing while some never get the time to plan, seek counsel and
build themselves for marriage

Are you only saving beautiful wedding gowns from the internet?

Do you have your preferred hairstyle already?

Pause and think!

What kind of bride would you be?

 One that is focused on the bridal train dresses, colors,

shoes and hair over the purpose of marriage itself?
 The bride who chooses to look at the buoyancy of the
groom over God’s purpose for their home?

Now relax, no one can boast to have all the knowledge about
marriage as it is progressive; yet no one is advised to enter
marriage clueless.

Dear Sis,

Your groom may be near or just a door away, so prepare for the
season of marriage before the ceremony comes. The story of the
10 virgins in Mathew 25:1-12 shows the clear difference between
the foolish and the wise even though virgins. The wise virgins
were termed wise for their preparation for the coming of the
bridegroom beforehand. Therefore, the best time to prepare for
marriage is before the coming of the groom, so you will not be
caught unawares.

Get all the extra oil you need, get all the wisdom you need,
become that better version of yourself, build your character,
submit your desires to God and invest in your spiritual growth by
persevering in prayer. Prepare in the word, prepare through
prayer, prepare your mind, learn and study widely, seek counsel,
enjoy your single season and refuse to lose your joy over the need
for a spouse.

It is 100% possible to get God’s approval for marriage even when

you least expected. The way of God cannot be fathomed and
those who walk with the Lord will definitely enjoy all of His
benefits.

I wish you a beautiful ride on this mini book. Pray as you

continue!
 CHAPTER TWO

DEAR SIS,
DESPERATION MUST BE FAR FROM YOU

“Desperation is like stealing from the Mafia:

you stand the chance of attracting the wrong attention.”
-Douglas Horton

I know this may sound like “see finish” but some men actually
complain that they could not keep up with a lady because she
always talked about marriage or a guy ending a relationship
because his partner was bent on getting him to marry her
desperately. Of course there is great need to define relationships
and set goals, but with all sincerity some ladies do not even know
they portray desperation in their attitude towards the topic of
marriage.

Some Signs of Desperation;

1) You think only about marriage and all your focus is on

the talk of marriage.
2) You feel left out, you even refuse to attend people’s
wedding or serve as a bridesmaid.
3) You talk with hate and anger about your peers or those
younger when they are married.
4) That is the only prayer point you have.
5) You are threatening to leave the church, marry an
unbeliever or compromise to get married.

They may be other ways to identifying desperation but with

these 5 points you could clearly tell when a sister is desperate
and needs help towards finding rest in God before marriage.

Marriage is beautiful, I could tell you as a married woman

that it is satisfying to finally get to that stage of life but before
that you must know that your rest and peace is found in God
not your partner. This does not mean your partner will not
make you happy or add to the peace in your heart but let that
be God’s obligation not his.

How to Overcome Desperation While Waiting?

You may begin to feel you are late or missing out of your
plans but girrrl! Who goes ahead crying over their own plans
when God is planning the best for them? Get over it sis, just
trust and follow God.

1) Have a Working Relationship with God: When you

have a working relationship with God, you will know
 when He says wait, yes or not now. It will even be easier
when you need a confirmation for a husband. Stop
waiting until 10 men are asking at the same time before
you go running to God in confusion. Build a relationship
with God now so that when someone says “God said” you
will quickly confirm if it was God or not.
2) Get Busy with Serving God: When you are busy serving
God, He will definitely be working out things for you. It
is normal to expect testimonies or miracles when you put
your time towards the service of God yet it is your role to
just trust God while you serve Him with your heart. You
may feel discouraged but serve God because you are
called to, not because of the incentives you are expecting
from Him. It will happen at God’s timing but let your
focus be right and your motives be pure towards service.
3) Build Yourself: As a single lady, you are unrestricted and
this would be the perfect time to find purpose, start a
career, learn skills and flexibly do anything to build
yourself. You can be married and still do all these but now
you have the time, why not? Take some time to focus on
becoming the best of you and it will leave you with no
time to be desperate.
 SCRIPTURES TO PRAY WITH AS YOU
TRUST GOD FOR YOUR SPOUSE
Dear Sis, I would advice that you pray for your spouse
instead of losing sleep or crying endlessly. The word of
God is complete, God’s promises are true, and yes you
can walk in them.
 “Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he
may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an
appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie:
though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it
will not tarry”. (Habakkuk 2:2-3) After you have written
all you desire in your spouse, then present it to God in
prayer and thanksgiving.
 “Search from the book of the Lord, and read: Not one of
these shall fail; not one shall lack her mate. For My
mouth has commanded it, and His Spirit has gathered
them. ”. (Isaiah 34:16 emphasis added) The keyword
here is “none will lack a mate” so pray with this and keep
trusting God.
 “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls
it down with her hands.” (Proverbs 14:1). Pray to
become a wise woman so you can build your home.
 “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she
who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.” (Proverbs
12:4) Pray to be a crown not a thorn to your husband.
Pray for the building of your inner man and proper
preparation to becoming an excellent wife.
 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of lights with whom there
is no variation or shadow due to change. (James 1:17)
God gives good gifts so trust Him and pray for His
perfect will for you in marriage.
 “He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him
up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give
us all things?” (Romans 8:32) If God can give up His
son for you then a husband is the least to doubt Him for,
pray with this scripture and declare that you receive your
spouse freely and with ease.

In the next chapter, I will buttress more on becoming a

complete woman, keep reading.
 CHAPTER THREE

BECOMING A COMPLETE WOMAN

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who

fears the LORD, she shall be praised”. Proverbs 31:30

When you see a fully grown lady with well developed hips and
probably above 20 years, she should be seen as a lady or even a
woman and no one would dare call her a girl. Every grown
woman, especially married with kids wants to be respected and
receive her flowers. What makes a complete woman? What
differentiates every regular woman from a complete woman?

A complete woman is focused, confident and purposeful. She

knows what she wants and does not follow the crowd. A complete
woman is not confused; she sets goals and runs with them. She is
willing to take risks for her destiny, not lazy or idle.

A complete woman loves the Lord and delights in His word; she
is always available for kingdom work and soul winning, she is
ready to spend and be spent for the work of God. She has an
understanding of her calling as a woman, she knows she is not
like every other woman; she is different, anointed and set apart
for great works.
A complete woman is established in the word of the Lord, every
step she takes is backed by the word of God, and she is willing to
learn, relearn, unlearn, grow and be pruned. A complete woman
is humble, simple, not defined by her age, hips or body figure.
She knows better than to depend on how she looks to gain favors,
she pursues knowledge and gets it.

A complete woman understands her place as a mother and wife,

she goes beyond producing an offspring to building and raising
them in the way of the Lord, she is a crown to her husband’s head
and her home flourishes because of her.

An example of a complete woman would be Ruth from the bible,

she knew what was right and she followed it, she sought counsel
from the right source and was not double minded. She made the
decision to follow Naomi even when it was not in her favor, yet
she decided to follow the right path. Just like Ruth, you may need
to look at some of the steps that would build you into becoming
a complete woman.

1. Building Your Confidence: Most females tend to lose their

confidence as teenagers. There are a lot of factors that might
have affected their esteem from their childhood; it could be
body shaming from their peers, the environment or
comparison by parents and some of us may have been victims
 of these, thereby losing your self-confidence. Yet, it is
important to move on, then figure out the need to build your
confidence and work intentionally on yourself.
You start by seeing yourself how God sees you, accepting
your flaws, learning from your mistakes, moving on from the
past and always seeing the best version of yourself.
Read books relating to confidence, learn a skill and be
productive. Study scriptures that affirm God’s love and
declare them daily. When you do all these, you will become
confident by the day, this way you will be ready to conquer
your fears and the world.
A complete woman is a confident woman!
2. Staying Optimistic Always: When you are confident, you
begin to see everything around you differently and as a
believer negativity will be far from your lips. You will trust
God to enjoy the good things of life and walk in the
supernatural. A complete woman believes “All things are
working for her good” she is not moved by the situation
around her and she enjoys peace all around. This is only
possible when you know Jesus and have submitted your all to
Him.
3. Knowing Jesus: You can claim to have every other thing life
requires but when you are not surrendered to Jesus, you are
 empty because it is Jesus that fills and completes you. You
cannot fulfill life’s purpose without having a relationship
with Jesus. To become a complete woman, you need to have
an experiential knowledge of Jesus. These changes
everything about you as you will stand out as a kingdom
warrior and be able to impact your generation.
4. Knowing/Understanding Your Purpose and Calling: To
be focused and confident about where you are headed in life,
you need to know and understand your purpose as it will
direct you towards decision making in life. When you are
unaware of your purpose and calling in life; anything goes for
you. We all have that special purpose and calling for our lives,
seek God, find yours and begin to take one day at a time
fulfilling your purpose.
5. Building Your Personal Mindset and Skills: “As a man
thinks, so is he”. Whatever you think about yourself is
basically what limits and makes you. You must be intentional
about the state of your mindset and acquiring skills. You
should be able to offer impactful words when you speak and
be skillful with your hands just like the woman in Proverbs
31. You can also create wealth with your skills, support your
home and be useful to the society at large.
What is the Expected end of a Complete Woman?

You could guess from the story of Ruth that her end was beautiful
and from the story of Esther that she saved a whole nation from
being destroyed. It is not enough to be a beautiful woman, to
beauty add intelligence, skill, sound mind, productivity and
above all be a woman that fears the Lord, that alone makes you
complete.

Remember!

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who

fears the LORD, she shall be praised”. Proverbs 31:30

Becoming a complete woman can be a process, do not give up on

becoming that woman God has called you to be, go extra, push
harder, and strive to be the best. You have a generation tied to
your impact, a nation waiting for you to emerge. Come up hither
sis, the time is now!
 CHAPTER FOUR

A BALANCED RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS

“A spiritually mature woman will be the first to do what is right

even when no one else is doing so. We live for God and not for
man, we live to please God and not people”.
Joyce Meyer (The Confident Woman)

Most women want to be married but only a few understand the

importance of having God direct them towards choosing a spouse
and staying married. It is important to note that a bride can only
be fully prepared to face the world of marriage when she has a
relationship with God. Marriage was instituted by God and to
succeed in marriage, be a better parent or even choose the right
partner, you need God more than Google. God is able to guide
you to the right partner, build your home and prepare you for
parenthood.

It is disheartening to see that most ladies prefer to fantasize over

the wedding dress to wear, shoes, accessories and the rest of it
while forgetting the main purpose of marriage and the home; so
they throw away the need to grow or build a better relationship
with God. Some do not even see the need of God’s wisdom and
help in running the home. It is not always about the “owo”
(money in Yoruba language) in the pocket; marriage needs a solid
rock to stand on.

What is the difference between every other woman and a

spiritually balanced one? A woman who has a balanced
relationship with God will seek to become better in her walk with
God, she will pursue to know what God requires of her in home,
what God has called her to achieve in the life of her husband and
the children God has given to her. She will desire to grow into
that person God has prepared her to be, building herself into that
woman of purpose and working towards fulfillment.

Come closer sis! Singlehood is one of the best times to chase

vehemently after God. You have more time and no distractions
as a single woman to get fully involved in the service of God; this
way you are preparing yourself to remain active in service when
you get married.

This is not a way of encouraging laxity when you are married but
you must understand that your marriage is first the ministry that
is closer to you than the general audience. You will have to
sacrifice, be absent in some meetings, stay at home to look after
the family and so many other responsibilities that comes with
being a wife and mother.
A wise woman once told me “As a woman, it is better to be
unavailable in the crowd than to be missing in your own home,
you have God given responsibilities and no one should do them
for you”. You may have to pause on some of your dreams but
please do not ignore your home especially when you are raising
toddlers.

Dear bride to be,

Do you think you have the wisdom and strength to raise a home?
Would it be possible to raise a home without seeking wisdom
from God? Then why make that step without involving God in
the process. You need God all the way as a single woman, a wife
or a mother. Yes! you do.

HOW TO BUILD A BALANCED RELATIONSHIP WITH

JESUS:

 Study the scriptures: You cannot eliminate the need of

studying the scriptures if you want you have a balanced
relationship with Jesus. As you study the word of God, you
know Him better, you are transformed and renewed. This is
how you grow in the knowledge and wisdom of the Lord
Jesus Christ. “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a
 workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the
word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15)
 Have a prayer life: Prayer is communication, communion
and a place of koinonia with God; we grow better as
Christians when we pray, and we are empowered to live holy
and serve God even better. …men ought always to pray, and
not to faint;… (Luke 18:1)
 Fellowship with the brethren: Never underestimate the
need to fellowship with brethren. You cannot successfully
build a balanced relationship with God without having a
community of believers to fellowship together. You need
community; you need people who will encourage and support
your spiritual growth. Don’t stop meeting together with other
believers, which some people have gotten into the habit of
doing. Instead, encourage each other, especially as you see
the day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:25)
 Build Godly relationships: As a Christian lady, trust the
Lord to connect you to the right friends that would be there to
help and support you in your toughest times. Intentionally
pray about the right relationships if you do not have any. It is
a blessing to have Godly friends who are committed to your
growth. One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
 but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
(Proverbs 18:24)
 Seek counsel and submit to an authority: Do not be an
island. Commit yourself to spiritual teachings and Godly
materials, seek counsel from those that have gone ahead of
you and submit to a spiritual covering as God leads you.
Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the
multitude of counselors there is safety. (Proverbs 11:14)
 CHAPTER FIVE

SIS, YOUR HIGH EXPECTATIONS CAN

BLIND YOU

“The height or complexion of your partner does not

determine
the peace you will experience in your home.
Instead, look out for the fruits of the spirit”

Marrying a rich man or one with a glaring future would be every

lady’s first choice including yours right. Many ladies are stuck
with the mindset of marrying a rich man or not marrying at all
and because of this, they refuse to listen when God speaks
concerning their life partner, they ignore God’s direction when
they cannot smell money on him. Some even go as far as ignoring
the will of God because they see their marriage as a get rich
scheme and their husband as a destiny helper.

If it is Gods will for you to be blessed with a rich husband at the

beginning, that is good but lest you forget; God is the lifter of
men and any man who walks with God can enter into wealth and
become great beyond what you can ever think or imagine. It is
always a win-win when you accept Gods will in marriage. You
get a man submitted to God, full of visions and walking with God
to achieve them, you also enjoy peace and fulfillment in your
home. That is the full package sis!

Aside money, some of us have several expectations and

specifications that we are holding unto when it comes to marriage
and a life partner. It could be the desire for a fair, macho, tall man
or the dark, slim, pinked lips guy! I get it sis, we all have our
dreamy prince charming but you must not hold unto these
expectations and refuse to submit to Gods will because of them.

I am not fighting with those desires for a short or tall husband;

you can pray about them and trust God for those features but
when you refuse to submit those desires to God’s will, it becomes
an idol. Pause and listen to this counsel sis, the height or
complexion of your partner does not determine the peace you will
experience in your home. Instead, look out for the fruits of the
spirit and pray with them. Ask God to give you a partner that
loves Him, one that is patient and kind, one that will love you like
1Corinthians 13! Choose the right prayer points, desire the long
lasting attributes.

Submit your expectations to God, let Him guide you. Submit your
desires to God; let Him lead you. It is better to look foolish in the
eyes of men for choosing a particular partner than to miss out of
Gods plan for you in marriage.

As you trust God for the right partner, let your heart be fixed on
Jesus, stop looking for a destiny helper and sponsor but be
intentional about Gods perfect will for you. Stop looking after a
particular specification and look forward to a man submitted to
God. Following God’s will is the best decision to make as you
prepare for the journey of marriage.

The Right Prayer Points for Your Partner

 Pray for his heart: Pray for a man with a heart submitted
to God, sold out to the will of God and not swayed by the
issues of life.
 Pray for his eyes: Pray that he looks unto Jesus, lives a
life of purity and he is not bound by pornography and the
immorality in our generation.
 Pray that he walks/fulfils purpose: Instead of praying
for a macho man, pray for a man who is walking in
purpose. Pray for a man sensitive in His walk with God
and working towards fulfilling purpose.
 Pray that he finds you when it is time: Pray against
delay and declare that at the expected time He will find
you.

 Pray that he manifests the fruits of the Holy Spirit

and His character evidently shows that he loves Jesus.
 CONCLUSION

Let me end with this, marriage for every Christian woman should
be focused on fulfilling God’s will for your life, your spouse and
home. Let your desire be to bring God’s intent for the home and
community to reality. The world may have its own standards,
they may be focused on gaining earthly commendation and
appraisal or living as the top rated couple but it is different for
believers.

We are to be kingdom minded and seek to glorify our King not

the world. Starting from raising Godly children to standing in
your role as a wife and mother with the principles of the scriptures
and seeking to be the light everywhere you go.

Dear Prepared Bride,

I hope you are girded up and ready for the journey ahead, let your
standards of purity be upheld and seek to wait for God’s perfect
will for you. No matter how long it seems, God is never late.

I believe you have been blessed by this book?

You can drop a review on selar, Facebook, Instagram @The
journey of a Christian Lady or send a direct message via
Whatsapp (09150792446)

© 2024