a 31-day guide

how to
PRAY
for your
WIFE
MARK A. WEATHERS
“Women need their husbands to love and cherish
them. This book provides guidance for husbands to make
their prayers meaningful and sustaining for the marriage
relationship.”
—LINDA HITCHCOCK, Senior Vice President,
IndyMac Bank

“Mark’s wise insights into Proverbs 31 have raised my

awareness of the many ways my wife blesses me and our
children. Reading this book has equipped me to pray more
specifically for the Lord’s continued work in her life.”
—GORDON SPAUGH, Area Executive,
Branch Banking and Trust Co.
HOW TO PRAY FOR YOUR WIFE
C R O S S W AY B O O K S
A PUBLISHING MINISTRY OF
GOOD NEWS PUBLISHERS
WHEATON, ILLINOIS
How to Pray for Your Wife
Copyright © 2006 by Mark A. Weathers
Published by Crossway Books
a publishing ministry of
Good News Publishers
1300 Crescent Street
Wheaton, Illinois 60187
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a
retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of
the publisher, except as provided by USA copyright law.
Cover design: Josh Dennis
First printing 2006
Printed in the United States of America
Except for the Scripture verses at the top of each day’s entry, Scripture is taken
from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®. Copyright © 2001 by
Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by
permission. All rights reserved.
 To my mother,
NANCY
whose heart and life have been molded by the gospel
as demonstrated through her unconditional
nurture, love, and hospitality

and

To my wife,
Tara
my perfect partner, lover, and devoted friend,
who has been embraced by the gospel and communicates it
excellently to others in word and action.
 CONTENTS

Acknowledgments 11
Introduction 13
How to Use This Book 17
Proverbs 31:10-31 21
Day 1: Security 23
Day 2: Treasure 27
Day 3: Trust 31
Day 4: Provision 35
Day 5: Rewards 39
Day 6: Creativity 43
Day 7: Service 47
Day 8: Devotion 51
Day 9: Bargain-hunter 55
Day 10: Entrepreneur 59
Day 11: Strength 63
Day 12: Artistry 67
Day 13: Excitement 71
Day 14: Multitasking 75
Day 15: Hospitality 79
Day 16: Mercy 83
Day 17: Covering 87
Day 18: Balance 91
Day 19: Significance 95
Day 20: Light 99
Day 21: Majesty 103
Day 22: Laughter 107
Day 23: Wisdom 111
Day 24: Grace 115
Day 25: Watchwoman 119
Day 26: Active 123
Day 27: Cherished 127
Day 28: Appreciation 131
Day 29: Idol-smasher 135
Day 30: God-fearer 139
Day 31: Praise 143
Study Guide 147
Notes 153
Bibliography 157
 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

hrough writing this book I have come to appreciate that I

T do not minister in a relational vacuum. So many of my
ideas, thoughts, and writings were not birthed solely by me.
They are, rather, the result of an intricate weaving contributed
over time by family and friends.
Much praise goes to my wife, Tara, who has been the inspi­
ration of this book. I can’t express enough thanks for her
devoted heart and brilliant theological mind as she read over my
evolving manuscript.
Standing applause goes to my parents, Bill and Nancy,
whom God has used to model a beautiful marriage that has
stood the test of time. Many thanks go to my brother Paul and
his wife, Emily, for their excellent help in the editing process.
Thanks also go to my brother Steven for his extraordinary
thoughts and ideas, which have made the themes of this book
stronger.
When I began writing this book, it was not my aim to see it
published. Obviously God had other plans. I would like to
acknowledge my good friend Dave Vosseller, who ushered my
original draft into the hands of Crossway Books.
Praise goes to my mentor and partner in ministry, Stephen
Baldwin, whose pastoral influence permeates these pages and
is reflected in much of the text.
11
Acknowledgments
Much appreciation goes to my spiritual family at Providence
Presbyterian Church in Concord, North Carolina, for their
encouragement and care for me as one of their pastors. It is
the Holy Spirit working in their lives that has created such a real
and vulnerable community, like none I have ever seen.
I am deeply indebted to my former professors and friends
at Covenant Theological Seminary, especially George Van
Groningen, Phil Long, and Jack Collins, who instilled within me
a passion for Hebrew (still my favorite subject). I also thank Per
Almquist, a walking library who was always willing to help
me find the source I was seeking.
A final acknowledgment goes to my editor, Lila Bishop,
and the folks at Crossway Books for their excellent work of
communicating the gospel through publication. (By the way, if
you do not have a copy of the English Standard Version in
your Bible collection, you are missing out on a great master­
piece of translation.)

12
 INTRODUCTION
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother
and hold fast to his wife,
and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24

see a unique tree every day while traveling to the church

I building where I minister. It’s a dogwood, and for the major­
ity of the year it looks like any other dogwood in the south­
east—slender divided trunk with a bushy green top. But this
past spring it caught me off guard as it was coming into full
bloom. The tree boasted of both white and pink blossoms inter­
mingled throughout its branches.
It then occurred to me that this dogwood was not a single
tree; it was two. Twenty plus years ago two dogwoods—one
with white blossoms and one with pink—were planted only
inches apart. As these two trees grew, their trunks fused into
one, and their branches intertwined with the appearance of
being just one tree. Only in the spring, when the vivid blos­
soms emerge, the tree reveals its uniqueness.
“And the two shall become one flesh.” What a beautiful pic­
ture this tree is of the mystery of the union created by God
between a husband and wife. Two individuals grow together
in such a way that their lives fuse together, and their gifts and
13
Introduction
talents intertwine to create a glorious and unique bouquet for
the world to see.
As romantic as this picture is, though, I will be the first to
admit that marriage is not always a bed of roses, or dogwood
blossoms for that matter. It is true that God has wired men
and women differently so as to complement each other, but
the world, the flesh, and the devil seek to pervert these differ­
ences in order to disrupt unity and to taint intimacy.
In view of this, how do we as men in our God-given roles
promote and encourage intimacy in our marriages? The only
answer is through the gospel of grace. As children of the king­
dom, God loves us unconditionally. He has entered into an ever­
lasting covenant with us—a relationship not based on our
works but based on his unchanging love. And since the mar­
riage covenant is designed to reflect the heavenly covenant, the
grace that holds us to God (i.e., “cling” as in Genesis 2:24) is
the same grace that holds us to each other.
While the covenant is all of grace, we would be wise to study
and better understand the uniqueness of masculinity and femi­
ninity as expressed in marriage. This is what I seek to do
through this journal and study guide.
As a husband, I know it is my responsibility to pray for my
wife. Often, though, I do not know the words to use, and I end
up feeling that my prayers for her could be more effective. From
marriage counseling and pastoral experience, I have met many
men who share the same concern. The average Christian man
does not know how to pray for his wife. Unfortunately, when we
do not know how to pray, we end up not praying at all.
14
 Introduction
In this process of discovery, I have also found that many
Christian women, who are honest enough to admit it, are not
enthusiastic about Proverbs 31 because they think that they will
never be able to measure up to its seemingly larger-than-life
standards. This passage on the “excellent wife” can actually
leave them feeling inadequate as wives and mothers. To make
matters worse, churches can easily misinterpret this beautiful
passage, stripping it of its intended grace, and use it to lay
greater guilt on women who are just trying to make it through
another day.
It was these thoughts that led me to study this mysterious
passage and apply it to husbands for prayer. After an exegeti­
cal study of Proverbs 31, which, I might add, was written by a
woman, I created this prayer calendar to aid in my prayers for
my wife. Having prayed through these requests over the course
of several years, I have seen the Lord bless both my wife and my
marriage. With this book now in your hands, my prayer is that
you and your wife might also experience the Lord’s blessing in
your marriage. May the Lord give you grace and understanding
of his gospel in such a way that your life and marriage stand
as a monument to Christ and his glorious church.

15
 HOW TO USE
THIS BOOK

his book is comprised of two parts. The first is an inter­

T active prayer journal with thirty-one entries to correspond
with the number of days in the month. It is a guide to
help you understand and pray for your wife better (or your
wife-to-be if you are single). With each day’s entry, you will
see three things:
1. Translation: I have translated each verse at the top of
the entry from its original Hebrew into a more literal reading,
one that helps to bring out some nuances of the words and
phrases.
2. Explanation: I have provided a further explanation point­
ing out significant details about the text and how they point to
Christ and the covenant.
3. Supplication: Borrowing from the themes in the transla­
tion and explanation, I have supplied some suggestions for
prayer. As you pray through these items, though, please do not
feel limited to my suggestions. Use the translation and expla­
nation as a starting point for your own prayers. This is where
the journal becomes interactive. You will see spaces where you
can write in your own thoughts and prayers.
The second part of this book is a Study Guide designed to
17
How to Use This Book
help pastors and leaders in their teachings on marriage. It can
be used in men’s Bible studies, men’s retreats, premarital coun­
seling, or discipleship meetings. Feel free to be creative in your
implementation of it.
As you read and pray through this devotional, I would like
to encourage you to keep a couple of things in mind. First,
Proverbs 31:10-31 was originally written as an acrostic poem.
This means that the first letter of each verse corresponds to the
Hebrew alphabet. This is significant because as an acrostic
poem, it was easier to memorize, suggesting that the author
wanted these important truths to be embraced.
Second, not only does this passage serve as instructional
literature about women, but it also gives great insight into eccle­
siology, the study of the church. God created marriage between
a man and woman to be a physical picture of the spiritual union
between Christ and his bride, the church. As you work through
the deep truths of redeemed femininity, my prayer is that you
will not only appreciate how your wife is constructed, but that
you might also acquire greater insight into the role and mis­
sion of the church.
May these deep truths assist your prayers, and may your
wife and you be encouraged by God’s grace as you grow in
intimacy with the Lord and with each other. As you find your­
selves embraced by grace, may your marriage become a beau­
tiful reflection of the gospel for the world to see.

h
18
 How to Use This Book
He who does not believe in God will not believe in God’s people
either. But he who has come to believe in God’s people will have
his eyes opened to the glory of God, even if he was unable to see
it before. Only the masses of simple, humble people and their
growing spiritual power will be able to convert the atheists. . . .
And what good is the Word of Christ without an example? A
nation is lost without the Word of God, for every human soul
thirsts for the good and the beautiful.
Fyodor Dostoevsky,
The Brothers Karamazov

19
 PROVERBS 31:10-31
(ESV)
10
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13
She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14
She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15
She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16
She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17
She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20
She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21
21
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22
She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23
Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24
She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29
“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

22
 DAY 1:
SECURITY
Proverbs 31:10a
An excellent wife . . .

Explanation
The original author of Proverbs 31 chooses an interesting adjec­
tive to introduce us to the woman of excellence. Instead of grace­
ful or careful, which we might expect, she uses a strong word
more closely related to battle imagery than to femininity. Some
of the meanings attached to the word excellent are “valiant,”
“mighty,” “fearless,” “strong,” and “morally worthy.”1
In my experience as a pastor I have found that one of the
universal characteristics of women is their desire for security.
Simply put, a woman’s biggest nightmare is to feel insecure
and abandoned. Look at the story of Cinderella, or consider the
books and movies women love, and you’ll see that in every
woman is a girl waiting to be rescued and protected by her man.
The bottom line is, women want to feel safe. But from where
should true security come?
Ultimate security comes from God and is provided by the
gospel. Christ, our Head, fought to rescue us from death, and
he promises his presence for eternity.2 In addition to looking to
Christ for ultimate rescue and security, women look to their
23
Day One: Security
husbands. As husbands, we are the heads of our wives,3 and it
is our calling to provide security for them in the same way that
Christ provides for his bride.4 We do this by creating an atmos­
phere where our wives (and children) can feel safe and secure.
When done according to God’s design, our marriages become
things of beauty that point others to the glorious gospel.
As God demonstrates his love for us by guarding and
defending us, and as we demonstrate the same love for our
wives, an atmosphere of safety is created, an arena where a
woman can come to life. Within a safe environment she can
more easily shed her fears and insecurities and thus be freed to
express the image and glory of God in her femininity.
A man is made to display strength, and a woman is made
to respond to it. Husbands display their strength when they ten­
derly direct it toward their wives and fiercely direct it toward
anything or anyone that would harm them. Such strength is
redemptive and life-giving, and it provides the security a wife
needs to be strong.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, set my wife free as a redeemed daughter, and restore
in her your image so that she might become a strong and
mighty woman.
2. Enable my wife to trust in you that you might deliver her
from fears and insecurities that haunt her.
3. Enable me to be a husband who provides security to my
family just as you provide security for your people. Help me
to point my family to you through my words and actions.
24
 Day One: Security
Journal
Are there specific insecurities with which your wife struggles
and from which she desires freedom? Write your prayer for
her in the space below.

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife in this area? When was the last time you admired your
wife’s fortitude? Include it here.
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

25
 DAY 2:
TREASURE
Proverbs 31:10b
. . . who can find?
Her value is far above jewels.

Explanation
After introducing us to a mighty and fearless woman (Day 1), the
author asks, “Who can find such a woman?” The question alone
implies that this type of person is rare. In fact, if found, her
value far exceeds that of precious jewels such as diamonds. The
Hebrew word for “jewels” here is also the word for “pearls.”
It is fascinating that the excellent woman is compared to a
priceless gem that has been cut and polished to perfection. Both
diamonds and pearls undergo a process through which they are
made beautiful. Diamonds are cut and polished with great pre­
cision and care by a master artist. Pearls are created as a result
of a piece of sand that has been lodged inside an oyster. This
marine mollusk secretes a substance that calcifies around the
sand, creating a pearl. Zoologists tell us that this process is as
painful for the oyster as it is for a woman to give birth. So a
carbon rock becomes a priceless diamond, and a common grain
of sand becomes a pearl of great price. Also in both cases, an
artist transforms the stones into beautiful and valuable jewels.
27
Day 2: Treasure
This process is very much like the transformation of a sinner
to a saint, since the process of salvation is performed by the
Master Artist and requires his immediate care and attention.
Women do not work harder to transform themselves into per­
sons of excellence. Rather they submit to God’s dealings as he
works upon them through time, experience, and often through
pain to make them beautiful testimonies of God’s artistry. God
admonishes us husbands to both find and behold the emerging
beauty within our wives. A diamond in the rough is still a dia­
mond, and a pearl hidden in a rough and ordinary oyster shell
is still a pearl. A woman in the process of sanctification is appre­
ciating into a valuable, “hard to find” woman—a treasure
worth so much more than the rarest of diamonds. Begin to view
her as such, and you’ll discover that you’ll value her more and
more.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, help me see that my wife’s value is greater than any
earthly thing.
2. Enable me to treat her as the “rare find” that she is.
3. Use me to encourage her in your process of sanctification that
you are directing.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

28
 Day 2: Treasure

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife in this area? Relate instances where you have seen your
wife grow in grace through painful times.
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

29
 DAY 3:
TRUST
Proverbs 31:11a
Her husband trusts in her fully . . .

Explanation
What does it mean for a husband to place his trust in his wife?
Literally expressed, this verse reads, “The heart of her hus­
band trusts in her.”
On a surface level the sentence means that the husband relies
on and has full confidence in his wife. The image is of a healthy
relationship where the husband does not look over her shoul­
der, micromanage her actions, or criticize her every move.
Usually a man who constantly nitpicks in this way does so not
because his wife is inept but because he is insecure.
On a deeper level the husband trusts his wife with his very
heart. Instead of being aloof or safeguarding his ego, he is will­
ing to be completely vulnerable with her, knowing that she loves
him and has been especially designed to care for him. As men,
is it safe to place the very core of our heart’s trust in a woman,
knowing that we might get hurt?5 The answer is, no, it is not
safe. But God does not call us to be safe; he calls us to sacrifice
for our wives—even to the point of death.6
You display trust in your wife when you are willing to be
31
Day 3: Trust
real, when you express to her your own fears and struggles,
and when you share with her your hopes and dreams. True,
there may be times when your wife may not respond in a way
you had hoped, or she may hurt you by dousing your dreams
with the cold water of reality. In such instances, do not stop
trusting in her. Allow her to be used by the Holy Spirit in your
process of being restored into the image of God. As the wise
king said earlier in the book, “Iron sharpens iron, and one
man sharpens another.”7 You and your wife were designed to
sharpen each other.
As your heart trusts in hers, it will accomplish several things:
1) it will build up her confidence, 2) it will cause her to feel loved
and trusted by you, and 3) it will enhance the intimacy within
your marriage.

It takes great courage to see the world tainted in all its glory and
still love it. It takes greater courage still to see it in the one you
love.
Oscar Wilde,
An Ideal Husband

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, knowing full well that I risk being hurt, show me how
to trust in my wife.
2. Allow my wife to feel the trust I have in her, and use me to
build up her confidence in the process.
3. Help me not to be defensive and self-preserving when my
wife is being used of you. Enable me to listen to her.
32
 Day 3: Trust
Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

Answers to Prayer
Record the times when you have witnessed your wife growing
in confidence through your trust in her. Can you recall times
where the Holy Spirit has enabled you to “lay down your life”
willingly for her? Thank the Lord for his work in your
marriage.
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

33
 DAY 4:
PROVISION
Proverbs 31:11b
. . . And he is never lacking in spoil.

Explanation
Today the author uses another battle term: spoil. In virtually
every instance in the Old Testament this word is used in con­
nection with war. When a city or nation is conquered, to the vic­
tor go the spoils. Through the provision of the woman, her
husband is never lacking in spoil. The implication is that a
valiant woman is fighting for her man.8
At face value this does not mean a woman fights all the
family’s battles and brings home the spoils, while her husband
sits around all day, lazily doing nothing. There are many mar­
riages where this is the case, and wives literally “spoil” their
husbands. Such men hide passively behind their wives, giving up
the reins in all decision-making. In contrast, this verse echoes
Genesis 2:18-24, which describes the creation of Eve.
In all the creation, Adam could not find for himself a suit­
able helper. The phrase “suitable helper” can be translated lit­
erally to “helper according to his opposite.” Like a left and
right hand, the two are equally made but correspond exactly as
mirror images. In other words, God created the woman as a
35
Day 4: Provision
helper for the man, and a man to be a helper for the woman—
as one hand is a helper to the other. After all, it is not good
for man to be alone.9 Like a faithful general who fights for his
king and brings back the spoils, the woman, out of great devo­
tion to her husband, comes to his side and fights with him
and for him in the kingdom of earth and in the kingdom of
God.
The bottom line is that God designed your wife to comple­
ment you. We understand from the context of this verse in its
usage of the word spoil that there are some things women do
better than men. As you think about your wife, what are the
things she is better at than you are? The more you appreciate
her feminine design, the more you will see her flourish.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, enable my wife to flourish in the ways you have gifted
her, and bless her as she provides for the family and me.
2. Knowing that laziness (abdicating responsibility) is a ten­
dency in all men, please guard me from it. Enable me to fight
the battles that I’m called to fight and not expect my wife to
do it.
3. Thank you, Father, for creating my wife especially for me.
Help me to be appreciative of her and never take her for
granted.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below. Also take
this time to express your thanks to God for giving you your
36
 Day 4: Provision
wife. List things that she does for which you are thankful. Don’t
forget to tell her.

Answers to Prayer
How have you witnessed your wife growing in her concern
and provision for the family?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

37
 DAY 5:
REWARDS
Proverbs 31:12
She shows him good, not evil,
all the days of her life.

Explanation
The phrase “she shows” could also be translated “she
rewards.” This is to say that the Proverbs 31 woman rewards
her husband with good every day of her life. Rewards are usu­
ally earned by a certain kind of behavior or performance. But
this is not the case here. This verse implies that the woman
respects and provides for her husband “whether or not he actu­
ally deserves it.” This verse is packed with grace! While most
wives would be tempted to retaliate evil with evil, the excellent
woman never stops being good to her husband.
This graceful action of the woman parallels the apostle
Paul’s admonition in Ephesians 5 that wives are to respect their
husbands just as husbands are to love their wives (Ephesians
5:33). Again the theme is the same. Men are to love their wives
even when their wives may not deserve it, and wives are to
respect their husbands when they may not deserve it. Such
actions must be done not in our own strength but in the grace
of God.
39
Day 5: Rewards
The key to Paul’s instruction is that women thrive on feel­
ing loved, and men thrive on feeling respected. When loving and
respecting are done in God’s strength, the marriage becomes a
beautiful cyclical dance: The husband shows his wife love by
cherishing and protecting her, and the wife gives honor and
respect to her husband. When one partner happens to give in
to sin and “misses a step,” the other does not retaliate but keeps
the dance moving forward.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, give me the grace to love my wife always and to pro­
vide her with the security she needs.
2. Help me to be a deserving husband my wife can easily
respect, and help my wife to show goodness and grace to
me even when I don’t deserve it.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

40
 Day 5: Rewards
Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your wife?
Don’t forget to thank the Lord for his work of grace in her life.
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

41
 DAY 6:
CREATIVITY
Proverbs 31:13
She seeks wool and linen and works
in delight with her hands.

Explanation
In today’s verse the excellent woman shows herself to be active;
there is nothing passive or weak about her. She seeks wool and
linen, implying that she either goes directly to the pasture for
sheep’s wool or that she goes to the market for it. In either case
she takes the raw material and gets busy putting it on the loom
(Proverbs 31:19 and 24).
The significant phrase in this verse is the attitude with which
she works. The excellent woman delights in work. For her, the
work is not a duty or drudgery; it is something she enjoys. She
takes pleasure in the work of her hands.
Throughout the entire book of Proverbs a contrast resounds
between the foolish woman and the wise woman. Early in the
book we read of wisdom personified. Consider Proverbs 8:30­
31, describing wisdom’s vantage point: “Then I was beside him,
like a master workman, and I was daily his delight, rejoicing
before him always, rejoicing in his inhabited world and delight­
ing in the children of man.” As God fashioned the world with
43
Day 6: Creativity
amazing creativity, we behold the poetic image that he did it
all with wisdom. An excellent woman, therefore, is one who
rejoices in the diversity of the created world and then seeks to
reflect her Creator as she works in great delight beside him.
As your wife goes about her business of creating, whether it be
cooking meals in the kitchen, writing at a desk, researching in a
laboratory, engineering a project, designing on a computer, or scrap-
booking on the dining room table, pray that she would be sur­
prised by joy as she has the opportunity to reflect the Master Artist.

Suggested Prayer
1. Father, help my wife to find delight in the rhythms and rou­
tines of life. Let her feel your smile as she shops, cooks,
works, and creates.
2. Give my wife creativity and excitement as she starts new
projects. Bless her in her work and hobbies, and use me to
encourage and motivate her.

Journal
Does your wife ever think that she lacks creativity, or does she
feel uninspired when it comes to creating? Write some of your
own prayers in the space below.

44
 Day 6: Creativity
Answers to Prayer
Have you seen your wife excited about new projects or
creations?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

45
 DAY 7:
SERVICE
Proverbs 31:14
She is like trade ships;
she brings her food from a great distance.

Explanation
What a great analogy to describe the excellent woman! In
this verse she is compared to a fleet of merchant ships that
have sailed a great distance to bring back supplies. In today’s
culture we could use the analogy of a supply plane, a fleet of
eighteen-wheelers, or even a freight train—all of which travel
far and wide to carry supplies.
The woman is undaunted in her service of providing for
her family. Whether the children are sick or the husband is at
work, the woman goes to great lengths to bring them “her
bread” (the literal translation). She delights to serve her family.
Regardless of the time or culture, the role of a servant has
never been a popular title. Servants have dirty jobs. Servants get
no rest. Yet this is how Christ Jesus continually referred to
himself: “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but
to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark
10:45). The whole drama of Christ’s incarnation, death, and
resurrection is a picture of God traveling a great distance to give
47
Day 7: Service
us heavenly bread. The role of a servant, therefore, is a
Christlike occupation. As a woman serves, she has the great
opportunity to reflect the Savior.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, as my wife serves the family and me, enable her to
see that it is a service rendered for you. Let her service be a sweet
offering of praise to you.
2. Father, I know that I am not exempt from serving. On
the contrary, as the head of this house it is my responsibility to
set the example of service. Help me also to serve joyfully so as
to reflect you.
3. As I see my wife “travel” to serve me, let me never take
it for granted. Remind me to praise her for her selfless service.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

48
 Day 7: Service
Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife in this area? Is God transforming her attitude in the realm
of service?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

49
 DAY 8:
DEVOTION
Proverbs 31:15
And she gets up while it is still dark,
and she gives food to her family
and portions to her servant girls.

Explanation
The day has not even begun, and the woman gets up early to
provide for her family and her servants. Having lived in a cul­
ture where maids and nannies are employed, I find it ironic
that the woman arises first to get the day going. In many cul­
tures it is the servants’ job to do this. Yet here we see the woman
devoted to serve the servants.
In the seventeenth century there lived a French monk
named Brother Lawrence. By his own confession, he was
rather clumsy and not too bright. Because of this the other
brothers placed him in the kitchen to cook meals where he
might not be a bother. It was in the kitchen, however, where
Brother Lawrence learned what he called “the practice of the
presence of God.” In essence, he fell in love with the Savior
through humble service to his fellow monks. In the early morn­
ing as Brother Lawrence prepared the meal, this was his
posture:
51
Day 8: Devotion
We can do little things for God; I turn the cake that is frying on the
pan for the love of Him, and that done, if there is nothing else to
call me, I prostrate myself in worship before Him, Who has given
me the grace to work; afterwards I rise happier than a king. It is
enough for me to pick up a straw from the ground for the love of
God.10

What an amazing devotion to God and to his fellow broth­

ers! And yet as amazing as it is, it is possible for all of God’s chil­
dren to feel such love and devotion to God that will then
overflow to the family and others.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, as my wife humbly serves the family, let her feel your
smile and your presence.
2. Father, as my wife devotes herself to you and the family,
may she truly worship as she works.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

52
 Day 8: Devotion
Answers to Prayer
When have you beheld your wife falling in love with the Savior
as she goes about her routine duties?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

53
 DAY 9:
BARGAIN-HUNTER
Proverbs 31:16a
She considers a field and buys it.

Explanation
The excellent woman is a bargain-hunter. She considers buy­
ing a field before she actually “takes” it. The word considers
means that she purposefully contemplates and strategizes a way
to secure it, and then she does just that.
Often I have heard men express misunderstandings about
their wives’ shopping habits. “Why does a woman need to visit
ten stores just to buy one pair of shoes?” To us men, who con­
sider ourselves to be practical, women’s shopping methods seem
to make no sense. But after careful consideration of this verse,
it implies that a woman knows exactly what she is doing.
Whether it be shopping for the best bargain, meticulously cut­
ting out coupons, or even buying real estate, women are wired
to be smart shoppers.
Interestingly enough, in our country more women than men
work as real estate brokers.11 As brokers, they reflect the excel­
lent woman by researching property on behalf of their clients
and then presenting it for possible purchase. Women often give
business a personal touch, demonstrating that they are gifted
in generating trust and showing reliability.12
55
Day 9: Bargain-hunter
Granted some women go overboard, turning shopping into
an idol, but the average woman finds joy in the study and strat­
egy of buying. The key is in understanding the purpose in the
shopping. The excellent woman devises13 a plan that will bene­
fit the whole family, as opposed to scratching the itch of the
shopping bug. In either case, when it comes to purchases of
any kind (especially high-priced items), we would do well to
include our wives in the planning process.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, I pray that you would grant my wife discernment in
all her endeavors and wisdom in all her purchases.
2. Give her joy as she contemplates and considers her future
buying.
3. Enable me to encourage her and bless her in her shopping
abilities.

Journal
Perhaps your wife has formed some bad habits in spending.
How does this passage apply to her? Write some of your own
prayers in the space below.

56
 Day 9: Bargain-hunter
Answers to Prayer
How has God answered your prayers in the area of your wife’s
purchasing wisdom? Has God changed your attitude through
a better understanding of your wife’s abilities?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

57
 DAY 10:
ENTREPRENEUR
Proverbs 31:16b
From the fruit of her own hands,
she plants a vineyard.

Explanation
Immediately after buying a field, the excellent woman wastes no
time. With her own hands, she plants a vineyard. There are
several implications in view here. We can assume that she pre­
pares the field by clearing it of rocks and weeds. She tills the
ground, plants the seeds, and erects some type of pergola to
which the grape vines will cling. The fact that she creates a vine­
yard suggests that she may have the ultimate goal of making
wine. And all of this is done “from the fruit of her own hands.”
Whether she has help from her children or from the family ser­
vants, we are not told. Nevertheless, the excellent woman ini­
tiates the work and executes it.
These aforementioned details are vitally important for us
to consider because through them we see that the excellent
woman is not afraid to work—and to work hard. It’s also safe
to assume that just as she works in delight at the loom (31:13),
she works in delight in her new vineyard.
Underlying these actions is a beautiful work ethic. We should
59
Day 10: Entrepreneur
enjoy the work that God has ordained for us—especially when
it comes to subduing creation. Adam and Eve were given author­
ity to rule over the earth (Genesis 1:28-30). Whether the work
is growing a garden, pruning a tree, pulling weeds, or simply
mowing the lawn, we are ruling over creation by not letting it get
out of control. These are simple things, but they fulfill our pur­
pose as God’s representatives on earth, in addition to reflecting
the work of our God. As Moses said in Psalm 90:17: “Let the
favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work
of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!”

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, I pray that you would make my wife into a strong and
resourceful woman who loves to work and to create.
2. Empower my wife to research new undertakings, follow
through with them, and succeed.
3. May she be an example for me to find new delight in my
work.
4. Lord, give my wife joy as she “plants seeds” and puts down
roots in our community—and as she watches them grow.

Journal
Regardless of how your wife works (at home, full time away
from home, part time, etc.), she still works. How does this pas­
sage apply to her? Write some of your own prayers below.

60
 Day 10: Entrepreneur

Answers to Prayer
How have you witnessed God answering your prayers for your
wife in regard to her work ethic?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

61
 DAY 11:
STRENGTH
Proverbs 31:17
She dresses herself in strength, and
she makes her arms strong.

Explanation
The excellent woman is strength personified. She puts on
strength like clothing, and she makes her arms strong. Does this
verse mean that she puts on workout gear every day and heads
to the gym to lift weights? Not exactly. This verse appears in the
midst of various activities typical of a resourceful, energetic
woman of the day—namely, of weaving, bringing food, buy­
ing, planting, and creating. It is through these activities that
she makes her arms strong. The poet emphasizes her point by
saying the same thing in two different but parallel ways—
namely, that this woman is strong and mighty.
What does this mean in the context of femininity? After
all, are not men supposed to be the strong ones? Without read­
ing masculinity into the woman’s disposition, the author rather
depicts the strength of femininity.
To help us understand better the intended strength and
beauty of a woman, we can look at the church. The redeemed
wife is like the church in its role as the bride of Christ. How,
63
Day 11: Strength
then, does the church show itself to be strong? Answering this
question provides insight into the strength of femininity. The
church enthusiastically submits to the Lord in fulfilling its call
to make disciples.14 The church is being made holy and beauti­
ful by the Bridegroom.15 The church tenderly cares for and nur­
tures the people of God.16 The church is an ambassador of
reconciliation,17 the sweet aroma of Christ.18
Craig Van Gelder puts it this way: As Christ’s bride,

The children of the kingdom are now to participate in this great

redemptive drama by plundering the strong man’s stronghold.
They are to reclaim lost territory by bringing back to right rela­
tionship with God what was lost in the fall. The enemy has been
defeated and is bound. Although his power still operates, he has
encountered someone stronger. Greater is he who is in the children
of the kingdom than he who is in the world.19

The church is strong because she has been empowered by

Christ. Our wives are strong because they have been empow­
ered by Christ too, but in another sense they have been empow­
ered by us, their husbands.

Suggested Prayer
1. Father, make my wife into a strong and mighty woman, free
from insecurity and fear.
2. Allow our marriage to be a miniature example of the church
and Christ’s love for his bride.
64
 Day 11: Strength
Journal
Are there specific areas where your wife does not feel strong,
emotionally or otherwise? In the space below write your prayer
for her in these areas.

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife in this area? When was the last time you admired your
wife’s fortitude? Include it here.
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

65
 DAY 12:
ARTISTRY
Proverbs 31:18a
She sees that her merchandise
is good . . .

Explanation
Not only is the excellent woman a strong and resourceful
entrepreneur (days 10 and 11), but she also creates a great
product. She is proud of her work and makes things that are
excellent, as opposed to shoddy. Literally translated, the
woman “tastes” her produce and sees that it is good (could this
be a reference to her making wine from her newly acquired
vineyard?). This wording echoes the original creation. After
God created the world out of nothing, he looked upon it and
saw that it was “good.” The woman reflects her Creator
through the act of creating things, including products such as
wine. In all of her mini-creations, the excellent woman sees
that they are good.
In their book Culinary Artistry, authors Dornenburg and
Page dedicate their writing as follows: “For the original
Creator—architect, artist, author, composer, designer, and mas­
termind of it all.”20 Reflecting on their dedication, Stephen
Baldwin writes:
67
Day 12: Artistry
Dornenburg and Page . . . understand that putting a fish sign on
a menu doesn’t make the food good. Rather, when a Christian
makes food it ought to look and taste terrific. It should be excel­
lent in every way. They demonstrate this in their cooking as well
as writing, which their receiving the 1996 James Beard Book
Award for Best Writing on Food recognize. . . . Often we keepers
of the story of redemption forget that God is on a mission to
redeem the universe, and that means the entire world and all we
do in it (whether on a cook top, at a keyboard, in a classroom or
practice) is a potential canvas for redemption. The Original
Creator is doing something much bigger and more holistic than we
think when we consider “the church” or “my job.” And that
should change the way we think about everything.21

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, whenever my wife undertakes to create something, I
pray that she would be proud of it and that it would indeed
be excellent.
2. Bless her skill in a way that it might reflect your work by
being “good.”

Journal
How does Proverbs 31:18a apply to your wife? Write some of
your own prayers in the space below.

68
 Day 12: Artistry

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife in this area?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

69
 DAY 13:
EXCITEMENT
Proverbs 31:18b
. . . She does not extinguish her lamp
at night.

Explanation
Have you ever been so engrossed in a book that you can’t put
it down, even after your normal bedtime? Or have you ever
been so excited about a project that you can’t retire for the
day because you want to keep on working? If so, then you know
what the excellent woman must feel in this verse. We read that
she does not extinguish her lamp, possibly implying that she’s
so excited in creating that she can’t go to sleep. She works in joy
to complete her project long after the sun has set.
Once again the woman demonstrates a strong work ethic.
But in this verse we do not detect even a hint of her working
out of a sense of duty. She is not staying up late because she
has to finish. She is not cramming for an exam or finishing a
project that she waited until the last minute to begin. Instead,
she works because she loves to work (and sometimes some of
the best work is done when the house is quiet, and all the kids
are in bed).
When Jesus’s disciples returned with food from a Samaritan
71
Day 13: Excitement
town, they encountered Jesus just after he had spoken to the
Samaritan woman. When they encouraged him to eat, he
explained his lack of hunger by saying, “My food is to do the
will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work.”22 Doing
the Lord’s work was so fulfilling that it trumped his desire to
eat. Jesus was accomplishing the work for which he came, and
that supplied nourishment akin to actual food.
As you see your wife become engrossed in and excited about
a project that fulfills her calling as a wife, woman, or mother, do
you give her encouragement and praise?

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, give my wife joy as she works. Help her to know your
calling upon her life and her work.
2. Enable me to praise her and be excited about her projects and
her many creative works.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below. Perhaps
your wife has lost a sense of purpose. Pray that God would
inspire her to create.

72
 Day 13: Excitement
Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife in this area?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

73
 DAY 14:
MULTITASKING
Proverbs 31:19
In her hand she holds the distaff, and
her hands grasp the spindle.

Explanation
In addition to buying real estate, planting a vineyard, and mak­
ing wine, the excellent woman sews—though “weaves” is more
accurate. She gives new meaning to the word multitasking. In
the image of sitting down at her loom (an ancient weaving
machine), she shows herself to be a capable woman who holds
it all together.
I have heard many a man say that he appreciated his wife the
most when he had to care for the house and kids for an
extended period of time. There are too many things to keep up
with in the domestic arena: making sure the family is fed, know­
ing when to take out the trash, stocking the fridge, cleaning,
washing, folding, etc. The list goes on to a point that the aver­
age man risks blowing a fuse if he has to manage these things
full time. Women are generally better built to keep up with
details. The same applies beyond the home front. Some women
have become successful career women who can lead a board
meeting and still keep their children’s soccer schedules and
75
Day 14: Multitasking
birthdays straight. The point is that God has wired women to
be excellent multitaskers.
While men may universally agree with these statements,
the importance lies in expressing them. Scores of women feel
unappreciated by their husbands because they feel more like
battered slaves than cherished wives. They do so much and yet
are praised so little. Have you taken the time lately to pause
from your schedule and praise your wife for her multitasking
abilities?
It is also worth mentioning that even though women are
wired to multitask, there are still times when they feel over­
whelmed. Such overloads can give rise to feelings of failure,
anxiety, bitterness, or anger. When a wife gives in to such
temptations, a husband’s reaction is to withdraw. This is a
sinful response. What a woman needs at such times is a
strong man who is not afraid to enter the conflict, help her
regain perspective, and reassure her that she is loved and
appreciated.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, help my wife, who cares for so much on a daily basis,
to see herself as of great value to the family.
2. Enable her to hold everything together and not feel over­
whelmed at all the pressures confronting her. Show me what
I can do to help.
3. Help me to show genuine appreciation for her and never take
her work for granted.
76
 Day 14: Multitasking
Journal
Perhaps your wife feels overwhelmed at times and needs extra
encouragement. How can you pray for her to live up to the
way God has built her?

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife in this area?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

77
 DAY 15:
HOSPITALITY
Proverbs 31:20a
She spreads out her
hands to the poor . . .

Explanation
Verse 20 (spread between today and tomorrow) contains
some rich concepts regarding a woman’s merciful heart. The
excellent woman is not solely focused on her family; she has
a big heart for others. She is deeply concerned about the
needs of those who are poor, suffering, and afflicted—the
latter two words are usually connected with the word poor.
In her concern, the woman “spreads out her hands” to
receive those who are in need, allowing them to come and
be cared for.
In opening wide her arms to receive the poor, the woman
becomes a beautiful picture of gospel hospitality. The true
meaning of hospitality does not just mean opening up one’s
home for entertainment. It implies opening up one’s life as a
refuge for the weary, whereby she creates a safe place for the
troubled to find rest.
In our increasingly suburban society, however, I watch as
families retreat to their own homes and blockade themselves
79
Day 15: Hospitality
like knights in a castle. A sense of community is eroding as
Christians become reluctant to open their doors to host others.
In contrast, the hospitality early believers practiced was
significant in the formation of the church, and hospitality is
still one of the best methods for communicating a message of
grace. As Henri Nouwen wrote:

Hospitality is the virtue which allows us to break through the

narrowness of our own fears and to open our houses to the
stranger, with the intuition that salvation comes to us in the form
of a tired traveler. Hospitality makes anxious disciples into pow­
erful witnesses, makes suspicious owners into generous givers, and
makes close-minded sectarians into interested recipients of new
ideas and insights. But it has become very difficult for us today
to fully understand the implications of hospitality. Like the Semitic
nomads, we live in a desert with many lonely travelers who are
looking for a moment of peace, for a fresh drink and for a sign
of encouragement so that they can continue their mysterious
search for freedom. What does hospitality as a healing power
require? It requires first of all that the host feel at home in his
own house, and secondly that he create a free and fearless place
for the unexpected visitor.23

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, I pray that my wife would be a woman of great com­
passion for the poor, needy, and afflicted.
2. Give my wife the grace to open her hands to make our home
a hospitable refuge for those in need.
80
 Day 15: Hospitality
Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife in this area? When was the last time you were awed by
her hospitable heart? Tell about it here.
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

81
 DAY 16:
MERCY
Proverbs 31:20b
And [she] reaches out to the needy.

Explanation
Yesterday’s reading described how the excellent woman opens
her hands to the poor. The second half of this verse talks about
how, with those same hands, she reaches out to the needy. By
her own initiative, she seeks opportunities to show mercy. Such
action mirrors the Savior, who said while quoting Isaiah:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,

because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives
and recovering of sight to the blind,
to set at liberty those who are oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”24

Through this passage, Jesus teaches that true mercy ministry

is done through the anointing of the Holy Spirit, as opposed to
being generated by human effort. True motive for mercy comes
through the enabling of the Holy Spirit, who was sent to lead us
in the continuing ministry of Jesus. Put simply, we become
Christ’s hands and feet to minister in a broken world wrecked
83
Day 16: Mercy
by sin. Under the Spirit’s anointing, we proclaim good news to
the poor; we proclaim liberty to captives; we help the blind to
see and proclaim that now is the time of God’s favor.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, enable my wife through the power of your Spirit to be
Christ’s hands and feet to the poor, needy, and afflicted.
Give her a heart of compassion.
2. As my wife comes into contact with others who may be in
spiritual bondage, use her (and her gifts) to set them free.
3. I pray that you would give my wife wisdom and discern­
ment as she cares for others and that she would know how to
create good boundaries.
4. Pray through Luke 4:18-19 (page 83), asking the Lord to
make you and your wife instruments of God’s mercy through
the demonstration of the gospel at work in you.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

84
 Day 16: Mercy
Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife in the area of mercy? Cite some specific times when she has
reached out with hands of compassion.
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

85
 DAY 17:
COVERING
Proverbs 31:21
She is not afraid of snow
for her household, because all
of them are doubly clothed.

Explanation
Once again the excellent woman shows herself to be fear­
less. Even in the severest of weather she is not afraid because
she has doubly clothed the members of her household. Some
Bibles render the latter phrase as “clothed in scarlet,” which
is an optional translation. In either case, the meaning has
the same thrust: Because the woman has provided covering
for the members of her household, she is not afraid of com­
ing snow.
In this beautiful verse much more is implied than a
woman buying (or making) clothes to cover her family ade­
quately. The very redemptive heart of God is reflected in these
actions.
In Genesis 3 soon after Adam and Eve had broken God’s
command by eating of the forbidden tree, they felt guilt for the
first time. In their shame they sewed together leaves to cover
their nakedness. When God called to them, it was obvious that
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Day 17: Covering
their shoddy attempt to make themselves presentable to stand
before the Lord was insufficient. So God slaughtered an inno­
cent animal, and from its hide he clothed them.25 Throughout
Scripture the same story is told over and over: God provides
covering for his people. From Adam and Eve all the way to the
cross, God was providing clothing for his people so that they
could live in his presence forever. The message of the cross
shouts aloud that we cannot stand before God dressed in our
shoddy attempts at good living. To stand before God requires
that we be dressed in the goodness of Christ, whose innocent
blood was shed to cover us. Therefore we need not fear in the
severest of spiritual weather because we are sufficiently clothed
from on high.
Open your eyes to behold the ways your wife prepares for
the “heavy weather” that may come and how she is imaging the
Lord in providing for the various needs of the family. Pray that
she would provide a double portion of all that is needed, both
physically in the areas where she works hard and emotionally
through her encouragement, support, and praise. Encourage
her to see how she reflects the message of redemption in pro­
viding sufficient covering for the family.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, in the severest of weather (or circumstances), set my
wife free from anxiety and fear because you have clothed us
with the goodness and righteousness of Christ.
2. Enable my wife to give every member of the house a double
portion of provision—both physical and emotional.
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 Day 17: Covering
Journal
Does your wife ever get frustrated over all that she has to do
to care for the family? How can you specifically pray for her
in view of this verse?

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife in this area?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

89
 DAY 18:
BALANCE
Proverbs 31:22
She makes for herself
coverings of tapestry; and linen
and purple are her clothing.

Explanation
After thirteen verses describing the excellent woman’s actions
toward others, she finally pampers herself. She makes for her
home beautiful coverings of embroidered tapestry, perhaps a
carpet or bedspread, demonstrating that she is an able interior
decorator. As for her clothing, it is fine linen and purple, an
expensive color signifying royalty.
We understand from the whole chapter that the excellent
woman has a beautifully balanced life. She takes care of her­
self but does not neglect her family (31:14). She dresses in regal
clothes but is still willing to serve the servants (31:15).
Balance in life is hard to achieve. Some women over-pam­
per themselves and in their selfishness neglect their families
and callings. Self has become their idol, and they worship
themselves as those who deserve the best. On the other hand,
some women feel guilty any time they seek to rest from life’s
demands, thus playing the role of the martyr. Such women
have assumed too much upon themselves and feel that if they
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do not do it all, they are failures. This too is self-worship
because they want everyone to know how much they slave
for the family. In either case, how are women to be liberated
from this tension?
John gives the example in John 13 when Jesus took a towel
and washed his disciples’ feet. Jesus could do this because he
knew exactly who he was, where he had come from, and
where he was going. 26 “Secure in that knowledge,” wrote
Edmund Clowney, “he was untouched by the defensiveness
of insecure pride. So, too, the knowledge of glory equips us
to serve: first as sons in the Son, then as servants in the
Servant. With the cry ‘Abba, Father’ on our lips, we can take
the towel as Jesus did. God’s grace first saves us and then
equips us for service. . . . We serve as we use the gifts of the
Spirit. Our ministry is therefore humble service, not selfish
manipulation.”27
As your wife seeks to live a balanced life, help her to know
who she is, where she has come from, and where she is going.
She is a beloved princess in the kingdom of God, dressed in
the very royal robes of Christ.28

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, guard my wife from idolatry in the form of self-
indulgence or self-martyrdom.
2. Help my wife to see herself as a princess who loves life in
your kingdom.
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 Day 18: Balance
Journal
There is much more that can be derived from Proverbs 31:22.
Do you have any further thoughts as to how you can pray for
your wife?

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers in this area?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

93
 DAY 19:
SIGNIFICANCE
Proverbs 31:23
Her husband is known at the city gates
where he takes his seat
with the elders of the land.

Explanation
When coupled with the whole passage, this verse demonstrates
that the family is well respected in the community. The husband
of the excellent woman is an honored elder who takes his seat
with other wise men as a leader of the city. This group of eld­
ers judges the cases brought before the assembly.
God created man as the king and ruler of creation, and he
has wired men to desire honor and respect.29 If a woman’s great­
est desire is for security (see Day 1), a man’s greatest desire is for
significance.30 When a man does not feel significant, it negatively
affects his work, his family, and his marriage.
As men, we face several temptations when it comes to feel­
ings of insignificance. First, there is a tendency to find our sig­
nificance in other things, such as work or pleasure. Second, it
is tempting to blame someone else: “If I feel insignificant, it is
my wife’s fault. I deserve to be treated with respect.” In either
case, just as women are to seek ultimate security from God,
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Day 19: Significance
we must seek ultimate significance from him as well. Even if you
were a perfect man who commanded respect, it would still not
guarantee that you would receive it. Regardless of how we are
treated, our significance must be derived from the gospel. We
are created in God’s image,31 and we have been adopted into
his family.32

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, make our marriage (and family) one that is known
and respected in the community.
2. Help my wife to know how to show me respect and signifi­
cance. And even when she doesn’t, let me derive my signifi­
cance from you.
3. Lord, are there “idols” in my life that tempt me to trust in
something other than you for my worth? If so, reveal them to
me and give me the grace to repent of them.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

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 Day 19: Significance
Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray in this
area?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

97
 DAY 20:
LIGHT
Proverbs 31:24
She makes linen garments,
which she sells,
and gives belts to the merchants.

Explanation
The excellent woman shows herself to be a light to the world.
She makes exquisite articles of clothing, which she then sells to
the merchants. The word for merchant is Canaanite, signify­
ing that these folks were foreigners. By selling and delivering
needful things, the excellent woman displays a concern for
those who do not yet know the God of Israel, and she gladly
engages in commerce with them.
By giving the Israelites the land of Canaan as an inheritance,
God had set his chosen people in a strategic position. In this
“street corner” location, anyone traveling between Asia Minor
and Egypt had to pass through Israel. God’s design in this was
that his treasured people might be a conspicuous light to the
nations.33 Throughout the Old Testament, however, we read
that Israel misunderstood the vision God had for them. Either
they fully embraced the religions and idols of the surrounding
nations, or they looked down upon them with an elitist attitude.
In either case, they were not bringing the light of the gospel.34
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Day 20: Light
Within the church we fall victim to these two sins of Old
Testament Israel. Either we embrace the idols of our culture and
therefore look no different from the world around us, or we
huddle together in Christian enclaves, condemning the world’s
actions from a safe distance. Both behaviors are wrong and
stand opposed to the gospel that Christ wants us to uphold. The
excellent woman is not afraid to stand and work among for­
eigners or to get to know them by name. In so doing, she dis­
plays God’s compassion for a lost world. Jack Miller sums this
up best in his book Outgrowing the Ingrown Church:

[God’s] purpose is a grand redemptive one, the forming of a com­

pleted new people of God out of the rubble of fallen mankind. In
the Scriptures this completed church is called “the bride,” “the
wife of the Lamb,” who upon His return will be made perfectly
spotless and complete. But the church herself is more than the
goal. She is also the vehicle, the instrument, for gathering in the
people of God. Christ has no other agency for accomplishing this
work. . . . It is commissioned to act as Christ’s sole representative
for carrying the gospel to the nations. Thus the Great Commission
assigns the church a task, a missionary purpose, as the means for
accomplishing Christ’s broader purpose, the ingathering of the
whole people of God.35

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, make my wife into a compassionate woman who con­
tinually shines your grace.
2. Give my wife a fearless heart that seeks to display your gospel
within the world.
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 Day 20: Light
Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife in this area?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

101
 DAY 21:
MAJESTY
Proverbs 31:25a
Strength and majesty are her clothing.

Explanation
This verse is very similar to verse 17 where we read of the
woman dressing in strength. Here, though, the author uses a
new word: majesty. Other possible synonyms include dignity,
honor, and glory.
Considering the author of Proverbs 31, this verse stands
out as a beauty. Verse 31:1 indicates that King Lemuel’s mother
wrote this passage. It is thought that Lemuel was another name
for King Solomon,36 the overall author of Proverbs. If this is
true, the original author of Proverbs 31 would be none other
than Bathsheba, the wife of King David.37
Whether or not Bathsheba originally penned these words,
we can, nevertheless, learn much from a brief overview of her
life. When she first appears on the biblical scene, Bathsheba is
caught immodestly bathing upon her roof in full view of the
palace.38 Later we might get the impression that her husband,
Uriah, was more devoted to his work than to his wife,39 possi­
bly suggesting that all was not well within their marriage.
Bathsheba and David fall into an adulterous relationship that
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Day 21: Majesty
leads to a pregnancy, and David stages the murder of her hus­
band. Given these details, Bathsheba does not seem to be a
woman who personifies majesty or dignity.
In spite of Bathsheba’s sin and culpability in her affair with
David, her life majestically stands as a tower of grace. How
can that be? The Lord stepped into the situation and took
actions to redeem it. David and Bathsheba received pardon, and
God granted them a son, whom they named Solomon. And it
was Bathsheba who became one of the ancestors of Christ.40 It
is tempting to think that had the couple not sinned, the line of
Christ would have been broken. But this is not the case. God
sovereignly worked through David and Bathsheba’s failings to
accomplish his set purpose. Not only is Bathsheba mentioned in
Matthew’s genealogy of Christ, but he also includes three other
women who stand out as majestic pillars of grace: Tamar, the
daughter-in-law of Judah who tricked him into fathering a son;
Rahab, the former prostitute of Jericho; and Ruth, the widowed
foreigner of Moab.
Whatever history your wife brings into your marriage, know
that we serve a God who not only redeems the past, but he
also uses it for the advancement of his kingdom. As your wife
puts her faith in the gospel, pray that she might stand as a
majestic tower of God’s amazing grace.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, cause my wife to stand as a tower of grace as she looks
to you for her righteousness, and help her to become a
woman of majesty and dignity.
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 Day 21: Majesty
2. When my wife is temped to despair because of her past mis­
takes, help her to recall the gospel that has both saved her
and is currently restoring her.

Journal
Does your wife struggle with feelings of disgrace or shame because
of her past? Write some of your own prayers specifically for her.

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife in this area?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

105
 DAY 22:
LAUGHTER
Proverbs 31:25b
And she laughs at the days to come.

Explanation
The author of Proverbs 31 uses a colorful verb in this verse to
describe the excellent woman. “She laughs” can also be trans­
lated to “she plays.” In other words, this regal woman can
sing, dance, and laugh. Not only is she strong and majestic;
she is a carefree woman who knows when to “let her hair
down.”
One of the most attractive things to a man is a woman who
is free-spirited and seeks to live life to the fullest.41 Such a
woman is unencumbered by the unrealistic pressures of the out­
side world because she stands confident in her inner beauty.
She knows when to be proper and when to cut loose. She beats
to the tune of heavenly drums and attracts others to her ongo­
ing party.
I believe that within each woman is a yearning to laugh.
Women’s magazines still maintain that the attribute a woman
is looking for most in a man is a sense of humor. This should tell
us that a woman longs to feel safe in the arms of a man who will
keep life in perspective by not taking everything so seriously and
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Day 22: Laughter
by leading them into laughter. Understood from the sovereignty
of God, we can all laugh and play as we look to the future
because we know the One who orchestrates all things. A
woman in such a relationship knows not just who she is but
whose she is.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, make me into a man who provides safety and security
for my wife on all levels: emotional, spiritual, and physical.
2. Lord, whenever I fall victim to my own insecurities, thereby
refraining from leading my wife in the way she needs, enable
her to cling to you in faith.
3. Lord, never let my wife lose the heart of a child. Let her
laugh, dance, and play because her confidence is in you.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

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 Day 22: Laughter
Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife? Can you recall recent times when you have seen your
wife laughing?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

109
 DAY 23:
WISDOM
Proverbs 31:26a
She opens her mouth with wisdom.

Explanation
Whenever the excellent woman opens her mouth, she speaks
with wisdom. Throughout the book of Proverbs, wisdom is col­
orfully portrayed. Wisdom is a tree of life (15:4). Wisdom
brings healing (12:18). Wisdom is an edifying builder (14:1).
The caricature of wisdom is beautifully diverse, but one of its
common themes is that it is life-giving.42 In the context of this
verse, the excellent woman uses her mouth to build up, to heal,
and to promote instruction.
In contrast to the wise woman, the woman of folly is loud
and ignorant.43 Instead of building up, she tears down. Instead
of communicating life-giving instruction, she promotes death.
This contrast of wisdom versus folly teaches us that the tongue
can either be an edifying tool or a destructive weapon.44
Since women are generally better communicators than men,
they are more susceptible to the sins of the tongue such as gos­
sip or slander. Both gossip (speaking incriminating truth about
someone) and slander (speaking incriminating lies about some­
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Day 23: Wisdom
one) are destructive. The motivations for these deadly sins of
speech are subtle: the lust for power and control over someone
else’s reputation or the feelings of insecurity that drive one to
tear down another in order to feel good about self.
Seen from wisdom’s perspective, though, the excellent
woman’s tongue operates out of love. If you love someone,
you will care for his or her reputation enough not to defame
it. If you love someone, you will seek to build the person up
through encouragement, praise, and instruction (and even
sometimes through a loving rebuke).
As you listen to your wife, do you discern her communi­
cation to be motivated by love, resulting in life-giving words,
or do you perceive them to be fueled by insecurities, result­
ing in destructive speech? Pray for her as she struggles in
these areas.

Suggested Prayer
1. Father, I pray that your love would so fill my wife’s heart
that she would use her tongue to speak edifying words of
wisdom to me, to the family, and to our community and
church.
2. Lord, you know my wife’s heart. Please deliver her from inse­
curities that would motivate her to use her tongue in a
destructive way.
3. Give me the strength to love her enough to confront her if she
sins in this area, and give her a wise and receptive heart to
hear it.
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 Day 23: Wisdom
Journal
Does your wife struggle in this area? Write some specific prayers
of your own in the space below.

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife’s heart and speech?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

113
 DAY 24:
GRACE
Proverbs 31:26b
And the law of grace is on her tongue.

Explanation
A literal translation of verse 26 reads, “She opens her mouth
with wisdom and speaks of the law of grace.” I want to men­
tion two things about this beautiful phrase, “the law of
grace.”
Law: The law is something we live by. Laws govern our
lives and allow us to live at peace with one another. The law
is something we are to submit to lest we endanger others and
ourselves. In this verse, as the woman speaks, she proclaims the
law of grace, implying that not only does she live by it, but also
she communicates it to others. The law of grace governs her
life.
Grace: In this verse the writer uses the most famous Old
Testament word for grace. In Hebrew it’s pronounced hêsed,
and it almost always refers to God’s steadfast love for his peo­
ple (see Psalm 136, which has the repeated refrain “for his
steadfast love endures forever”). The implication is that the
woman trusts in the grace of her Lord to an extent that she
cannot keep silent about it. Her God loves her with an ever­
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Day 24: Grace
lasting love, and she loves others with the same grace. I think
the apostle Paul sums it up best when he wrote to Titus saying:

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all
people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly pas­
sions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the
present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the
glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave him­
self for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for
himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good
works.45

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, let the doctrine of grace rule my wife to the point that
she talks about it to others.
2. Help her to understand your grace—that she is your dearly
loved child not because of what she has done, but because
of what Christ has done.
3. Purify my wife as your own possession that she would be
zealous for good works.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

116
 Day 24: Grace
Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife? Have you heard her remarking lately about how amaz­
ing God’s grace is?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

117
 DAY 25:
WATCHWOMAN
Proverbs 31:27a
She watches over
the way of her household.

Explanation
The excellent woman gives new meaning to the statement, “The
woman is the manager of the home.” Here we find her watch­
ing over all the doings, travels, and ways of the household.
The Hebrew verb for “watches” also appears as a noun
throughout the Old Testament as “watchman.” The watchmen
were the soldiers who stood guard over the city walls through­
out the day and night, watching for a possible attack on the
city. When they perceived a potential threat, they notified the
military and the civilians so that defensive action could be taken.
In a similar way, the excellent woman stands as a watch-
woman over the ways of her household. She observes the com­
ings and goings of each family member, and she is alert to any
danger that might invade the domestic arena.
The two greatest complaints that I have heard children voice
about their mothers (or husbands about their wives) are that
they ask too many questions and that they nag. While interro­
gating and nagging can, at times, be sinfully overdone, these are
two ways a woman fulfills her design as a guardian over her
119
Day 25: Watchwoman
family. Asking questions is her way of saying, “To help keep you
safe, I need to know where you are going, what you’ll be doing,
and when you’ll be home.” Nagging is her way of communi­
cating, “Take action! I’m looking out for the well-being of the
family and household. So please clean your room. Please fix that
leaky faucet, etc.”
The bigger picture here is that what the woman does for
her family is what God does for his children. Psalm 121 and 139
are beautiful passages that poetically celebrate how God
watches over his loved ones.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, help my wife to fulfill her design as a watchwoman of our
home. When she sees danger and alerts me to it, enable me to
take action as the man of the house and not be critical of her.
2. Help my wife to be vigilant as she seeks to watch over the
family. Give her keen insight into the dangers that might infil­
trate our home through the television, the Internet, or ideas
brought home from school.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

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 Day 25: Watchwoman
Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife in this area?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

121
 DAY 26:
ACTIVE
Proverbs 31:27b
. . . And [she] does not eat
the bread of slothfulness.

Explanation
As the excellent woman watches over the ways of her household,
she is not guilty of slothfulness. Other synonyms of slothful­
ness include laziness, sluggishness, or idleness. Does this mean
that the excellent woman is a work machine, constantly busy
and never at rest? The key phrase is that the woman does not
“eat the bread of slothfulness.”46 This is to say she does not
reap the rotted fruit of laziness; nor does she indulge herself in
sluggish behavior. As journalist Henry Fairlie expressed it:

Sloth is preeminently the sin of omission . . . it is a sin of neglect.

We neglect what we ought to do, and especially we neglect our neigh­
bors . . . even to callousness. We pass by on the other side, partly
out of pride, of which there is a lot in sloth, but partly out of mere
indolence, a laziness of the spirit as well of the flesh. Increasingly in
our societies, we barely lift a finger for the poor and the down­
trodden. Our technology and our gadgets have freed us from most
drudgery, and what do we do with the time that is now available to
us? We turn inward and become utterly absorbed in ourselves.47
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Day 26: Active
While it might seem that men tend more often to be guilty
of sloth than women, the focus in today’s reading is that sloth­
fulness can affect women. Just because one is busy does not
mean she is not guilty of slothfulness. In our culture, there is an
unchecked emphasis on self-actualization. From self-help books
to spa retreats, consumers are proselytized to worship them­
selves as the center of their universe. Women are praised for their
busyness, not on behalf of their families but for themselves.
This is at the root of slothfulness. The excellent woman, there­
fore, is an active woman who is not self-absorbed. She is a
redeemed soul who looks not only to her own interests but to the
interests of others as well,48 especially to those in her household.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, as you work in my wife’s heart, guard her from being
self-absorbed. Give her a heart that seeks to love and care
for those around her.
2. Enable my wife to have the same attitude as that of Christ,
caring for the needs and interests of others above those of her
own.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below. Perhaps
your wife is too busy and needs to slow down. How would
you pray for her in light of Proverbs 31:27b?

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 Day 26: Active

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife in this area?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

125
 DAY 27:
CHERISHED
Proverbs 31:28
Her children stand up
and call her blessed;
and her husband praises her.

Explanation
The family of the excellent woman cannot stay seated about her.
The children are crazy about their mother and stand up to
remind her how blessed she is. The woman’s husband also
joins in the praise by boasting of what a great wife he has. The
excellent woman is a cherished woman.
One of the most dangerous sports in which a man can engage
with a group of his buddies is verbal wife-bashing. Like a bel­
ligerent cloud of hungry locusts, a group of men can strip bare
and ravage their wives’ characters in a fraction of a moment.
To a man it may seem like harmless teasing, but every time he
makes a joke about his wife in her presence, you can see a sad­
ness appear in her eyes. What may then proceed from her mouth,
though, may be a different story. Many a marriage suffers due
to a husband’s unchecked teasing or complaining about his wife.
The bottom line is that a woman needs to be cherished and
loved by her husband.49 One of the greatest ways to convey your
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Day 27: Cherished
admiration for your wife is to communicate it to others in such
a way that she hears it or will hear it later. Such praise makes a
woman beam. If you have children, praising your wife will
strengthen their admiration for her as well; not to mention, it
will also reassure them that even though Dad and Mom some­
times disagree, they still love each other deeply.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, forgive me for the times when I have callously made
fun of my wife in front of others.
2. Father, help me to praise and cherish my wife. Let her feel
loved and admired as I seek to use my mouth to build her up.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray in this
area?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________
128
 Day 27: Cherished
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

129
 DAY 28:
APPRECIATION
Proverbs 31:29
“Many women do noble things,
but you go beyond them all.”

Explanation
This verse is in quotes because it should be read as the
praise echoed by the husband and children. The family
acknowledges that though there may be other women who
act nobly, this woman surpasses them all. If you detect a
bias here, you understand the theme correctly. In modern
times, it might be like seeing several women wearing a shirt
that says, “World’s Best Mom.” Logic tells us that there
can only be one best mom. But that is not the point.
According to the children and husband, their woman is the
best.
When it comes to appreciation, we will praise what we
value. If something has depreciated in value, it receives less
praise (compare a new car to a used car, for example). In
marriages, the tragedy is that when a wife depreciates in
her husband’s eyes, criticism replaces praise.50 How does a
woman gain appreciation? It is not through working harder.
For a woman to increase in value, the value must be given
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Day 28: Appreciation
to her by her man. Ultimately, the Lord must transform a
man’s heart. It is all of grace—and not as a result of our
actions—that the Lord loved us and entered into a covenant
with us. 51 In the same way, our love for our wives should
not be based on their actions, but on the covenant we made
with them as we stood and exchanged vows. Eugene
Peterson expanded on these themes when he wrote about the
Song of Solomon:

God, delighting in us, festoons his creatures, just as we, when we

delight in another, enhance and elaborate the beloved. With the
help of a vocabulary learned in the Song [of Solomon] we see
God’s people (and ourselves) not through the dirty lenses of our
own muddled feelings, and not through the smudgy window of
another’s carping criticism, but in terms of God’s word. We never
know how good we can look, how delightful we can feel, or how
strong we can be until we hear ourselves addressed in love by
God or by the one who represents God’s love to us. That which
in itself is without value acquires value by the fact that it is the
object of God’s love.52

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, forgive me for being quick to criticize my wife and
reluctant to praise her.
2. Father, I beg you to transform my heart. Renew my passion
and appreciation for my wife—not based on her actions but
based on my love and commitment to her.
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 Day 28: Appreciation
Journal
Are you convicted by today’s reflection? Write some of your
own mediations and prayers in the space below.

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers in this area? Do you
find yourself praising your wife? Have you heard your chil­
dren praise her?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

133
 DAY 29:
IDOL-SMASHER
Proverbs 31:30a
Elegance is a lie; beauty is vanity.

Explanation
From glamour magazines to soap operas, the world sets a high
bar for women. According to our culture, beauty is defined by
externals: a pretty face, graceful actions, and a nice figure. In
this verse, though, we are given the true definition of beauty,
where the author accurately describes what beauty is not. It is
not in being graceful and elegant, having all the right moves—
that is a lie. Nor is it about possessing a gorgeous face and body,
having all the right looks—that is empty.53 Considering these
concepts, both we and our wives need to embrace the magni­
tude of this verse.
Sin has so perverted the idea of what is beautiful that both
sexes can be guilty of idolatry. Women prostrate themselves to
the idol of beauty when they compare themselves to the women
of fashion. The mirror thus drives women to worship at the
altar of the bathroom vanity. We men are just as guilty when we
worship the idol of beauty in the form of lust. Whether letting
our eyes linger too long on a voluptuous figure or gawking at
outright pornography, we show ourselves to be enslaved by a
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Day 29: Idol-smasher
manmade idol. Through such actions we send the message that
our wives are lacking in beauty, which can drive them to
despair.
As disciples of Christ we need to engage in the spiritual
battle of shattering this culturally made idol of beauty. In your
prayers, ask the Lord to work in your wife’s heart that she
would refuse to let culture dictate her idea of beauty. Second,
consider this great truth by Bruce Marshall: “The young man
who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for
God.”54 Within our hearts is a desire for what is truly beauti­
ful, and Marshall hits home with this thought, because deep
down we are seeking true intimacy. Giving in to the tempta­
tion of lust is settling for a cheap imitation of the intimacy that
only God can provide. When you are tempted, ask the Holy
Spirit to give you a spiritual nudge that will drive you to your
knees to seek intimacy with the Father’s heart.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, help my wife not to compare herself to other seemingly
beautiful women.
2. Enable her not to derive her idea of beauty from popular
women’s magazines, television, or movies. Instead expose
their deceit and emptiness.
3. Father, help me to shatter the idol of beauty in my own
heart and so build up my wife in her own true beauty and
confidence.
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 Day 29: Idol-smasher
Journal
There is a lot to think about in this verse. Write some of your
own prayers as they apply to you and your wife.

Answers to Prayer
As the spiritual battle of idol-smashing rages, how has the Lord
answered your prayers in both you and your wife?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

137
 DAY 30:
GOD-FEARER
Proverbs 31:30b
A woman who fears the LORD—she
shall be praised.

Explanation
Here the author explains that an excellent woman is one who
fears the Lord. Such a woman receives praise, as opposed to
women who boast only of elegance and beauty, as we read yes­
terday. Not only does this verse echo the main message of
Proverbs,55 but it also serves as the foundation for all the
woman’s attributes:
Confidence—She fears the world so little because she fears
God so much.
Work ethic—She is so awed by God’s work that she desires
to represent him in her work.
Grace—She has been embraced by God’s grace such that she
cannot keep silent about it.
Submission—She submits to her husband because she has
first bowed in submission to the Lord.
In his fictional series The Chronicles of Narnia, C. S. Lewis
creates a scene where Aslan, the majestic lion and Christ-fig­
ure of Narnia, is first mentioned:
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Day 30: God-fearer
“If there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their
knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else just silly.”
“Then he isn’t safe?” said Lucy.
“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver. “Don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver
tells you? Who said anything about safe? ’Course he isn’t safe.
But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”56

An excellent woman is one who has met the Savior, the

Lion of Judah,57 and she has been altered forever. She has
allowed him to invade her heart so that she wants to do his will.
She can stand tall for him because she has first bowed low to
him. She fears him with the greatest awe and respect and
thereby becomes a woman of respect. She loves him with a
passion because he first loved her. She serves him because he
was willing to lay down his life for her.

Suggested Prayer
1. Father, above all else cause my wife to be a woman who
fears you, and may her fear of you draw her praise.
2. Lord, help me also to fear you and use me to direct my wife’s
vision to you.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

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 Day 30: God-fearer

Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers for you and your
bride?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

141
 DAY 31:
PRAISE
Proverbs 31:31
Give to her the fruit of her hands,
and let her works
praise her at the city gates.

Explanation
This verse serves as the conclusion of the entire passage and as
an admonition to husbands. A modern-day maxim says that
behind every great man is a great woman. In this verse, how­
ever, the author implies just the opposite: Behind every great
woman is a great man. The admonition is for the husband to
encourage his wife continually in her activities, as she will do far
better with his support and encouragement. In other words, a
husband should not stifle his wife, but he should delight to see
the work of her hands bring her more praise.
Because of the insecurities that lurk deep in all men, how­
ever, I have found that many men cannot be excited, or even
supportive, when their wives succeed. How can we as men
encourage our wives in their work when we struggle with our
own craving for praise? Notice in this verse that the woman
receives praise at the city gates. Where else in this chapter are
the city gates mentioned? In verse 23. The woman’s husband
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Day 31: Praise
sits as a respected elder at those same city gates. What a tremen­
dous visual image with which to close Proverbs 31. The woman
stands at the city gates as the elders of the land rise from their
seats and give her applause—and her husband is among them!
The praise afforded to the woman is a direct praise to her man
also. I can imagine the elders remarking to this man par excel­
lence, “Brother, you are a fortunate man to have such a wife.”
Indeed, he is blessed. He is blessed because he gives his bless­
ing to his wife.

Suggested Prayer
1. Lord, please use me to encourage my wife. Let her always
know that I am her biggest fan.
2. Lord, empower me to give her the support she needs, and
help me to be genuinely excited about the praise that comes
to her as a result of her own work.
3. Lord, forgive me for allowing my own insecurities to eclipse
my wife’s praise. Renew my confidence in you and use me
to be a blessing to my wife.

Journal
Write some of your own prayers in the space below.

144
 Day 31: Praise
Answers to Prayer
How has the Lord answered your prayers as you pray for your
wife? When was the last time she received praise from you
and/or others?
Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Date: _______ Answer: ______________________________________

___________________________________________________________

145
 STUDY GUIDE
he study guide draws from the themes of the daily readings
T in this book. I have categorized them under headings so
that they might lend themselves to teaching, marriage counsel­
ing, men’s retreats, etc. Feel free to take this material and adjust
it to fit your specific need.

I. Sacrifice and Submission

1. In Ephesians 5:22-33, Paul states that a wife is called to
submit to her husband. Submission is not a passive activity. In
other words, a woman is not a doormat or a slave. A woman
who truly submits to her husband actively supports him in his
mission and calling. The very construction of the word sub­
mission speaks of support: sub means under, and mission speaks
of purpose and vision. One who is “sub-missive” has come
under the mission to support it. How, therefore, does a wife
fulfill the command to submit? What does it look like?
2. If wives are designed by God to submit to their husbands,
as evidenced in the creation of woman as a suitable helper to the
man (Genesis 2:19-20), why do they struggle with this issue?
3. Is it ever appropriate for a woman not to submit to her
husband?
4. If a woman desires to support her husband in his mis­
sion, how do you think she feels (and what might she do) if
she does not know what the mission is due to lack of commu­
nication, laziness, or ignorance on the part of her husband?
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Study Guide
5. As a man, do you have a mission? What is it? Do you have
goals (temporal and eternal)? Do you know who you are and
where you are going? Do you and your wife discuss these
things?
6. In Ephesians 5:22-33, Paul states that a husband is called
to sacrifice for his wife. Just as submission is not passive, neither
is sacrifice. What does it mean for a husband to sacrifice for
his wife in an active manner? Does it mean giving up all deci­
sion-making and letting the wife have her way?
7. What things do you think men are supposed to sacrifice?
What things are they not supposed to sacrifice?
8. If God has wired men to sacrifice for their wives, why do
they struggle with this issue?
9. Understanding that marriage points to Christ and the
church, how can a husband and wife, who are sacrificing and
submitting, reflect the relationship of Christ and his bride?
10. How does Christ sacrifice for the church in the past, in
the present, and in the future?
11. How does the church submit to Christ (both in this life
and in the life to come)?

II. Security and Significance

1. In Ephesians 5:33, Paul admonishes husbands to love their
wives, and he admonishes wives to respect their husbands. This
idea can also be expressed as women desiring security and men
desiring significance. Where have you seen this to be true?
2. Reflect on a woman’s need for security (see also the read­
ing from Day 1). Why do you think God is so concerned with
widows and orphans throughout the Scriptures (James 1:27)?
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 Study Guide
3. What type of security does a woman crave on an emo­
tional level? On a physical level? On a spiritual level?
4. How is a man built to meet a woman’s desire for security?
5. How does a man crave significance on an emotional level?
On a physical level? On a spiritual level?
6. How is a woman built to meet a man’s need for
significance?
7. What is the difference between the movies and books that
women like as opposed to the books and movies that men like?
Does this give you insight into the differences between men
and women?
8. Consider this diagram demonstrating the healthy cycle
where a husband and wife fulfill each other’s greatest needs:

SECURITY SIGNIFICANCE

9. How does a woman want (or need) to be pursued, res­

cued, and made to feel safe? How is a man made to pursue
and rescue her?
10. What makes a man feel significant? How can his wife
make him feel significant?
11. When a woman is made to feel insecure, the tendency
is for her to withhold respect. Conversely, when a man is made
to feel insignificant, the tendency is for him to withhold love
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Study Guide
or to disengage. Thus a vicious cycle can result. Consider the
diagram below where a husband and wife fulfill each other’s
greatest fears:

INSECURITY INSIGNIFICANCE

12. As was stated in question 11, a woman’s sinful defense

mechanism is to withhold respect. How does she manifest
this (actively and passively)? What does this do to her
husband?
13. If a woman is not feeling secure in her marriage, how
else (or where else) might she wrongly seek security?
14. A man’s sinful defense mechanism is to withhold love.
How does he manifest this (actively and passively)? What does
this do to his wife?
15. If a man is not feeling significant in his marriage, how
else (or where else) might he wrongly turn for significance?
16. How is the vicious cycle broken? Put bluntly, how can
a woman respect a man who doesn’t seem worthy of respect?
And how can a man love a woman who isn’t lovable? (See read­
ing from Day 5: Rewards. Also consider the overall message
of Paul to the Ephesians, especially chapter 2).
17. How does a couple’s desire for security and significance
point to Christ and his bride? How does Christ provide secu­
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 Study Guide
rity for the church? How does the church rightly give to Christ
the significant place he deserves?

III. Physical and Spiritual

1. Have you ever considered the sensual language of the
Bible? The Song of Solomon is clear, as are the prophets Isaiah,
Jeremiah, and Ezekiel, where God compares the unfaithfulness
of his children to spiritual adultery. But consider John 17:20-26,
for example, where Christ talks about being in us. This should
not be surprising since intimate relationships are only to be
enjoyed in the context of a covenant.
2. In the physical covenant of a husband and wife, there is
penetration, deposit of seed, and ultimate fertilization.
Interestingly enough, one of the Hebrew words for male is
zakar, which comes from the verb to pierce, and one of the
Hebrew words for female is neqeba, which means to be pierced.
The physical picture is self-evident. How, though, does a hus­
band penetrate his wife’s soul, character, and heart? (See also
entry from Day 3: Trust.)
3. Just as a man wants to be in his wife on a physical level,
so also Christ wants to be in his bride on a spiritual level (see
John 17:23). Consider the parallels:
Penetration: Christ coming into his church: Revelation 3:20
(we teach our children to ask Christ to come into their hearts).
Deposit of seed: The Word of Christ is likened to seed that
is spread to germinate in our lives: Mark 4:1-20.
Fertilization: God desires that the Word of Christ might take
root within us and produce fruit: John 15:1-17.
4. How should these insights transform the way we view
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Study Guide
worship, prayer, and participation in the sacraments (the most
intimate things we can do in the church)?
5. If these insights seem crude, it is because our culture has
perverted physical intimacy. How can Christians help restore
the glory and sacredness of the physical union?
6. Many churches tell men to suppress their sexuality and
masculinity. Not only is this wrong and impossible; it is also not
biblical. How can men express their masculinity according to
God’s design without crossing over into the realm of sin? (See
also Day 29: Idol-smasher.)
7. In a parallel fashion, many churches tell women to sup­
press their sexuality and femininity. This too is wrong, impos­
sible, and not biblical. How can women express their femininity
according to God’s design without crossing over into the realm
of sin?
8. In the context of fidelity, how can the church be unfaith­
ful to Christ?
9. Couples who have never been guilty of an extramarital
affair can still be guilty of unfaithfulness. What are other areas
where a husband can be unfaithful to his wife, and vice versa?
10. Can you think of other parallels between the earthly
covenant of a husband and wife and the spiritual covenant
between Christ and his church?

152
 NOTES
1. F. Brown, S. R. Driver, and C. A. Briggs, A Hebrew and English Lexicon of
the Old Testament, abridged (Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1907).
2. Cf. Matthew 28:20; John 14:1-21; Hebrews 13:5-6.
3. 1 Corinthians 11:3.
4. Ephesians 5:25.
5. Throughout the Old Testament, this Hebrew word for “trust” is always pre­
sented in the negative when used in the context of trusting in human relation­
ships, communicating that trust in man (or nations) is a false security. The same
word, however, is always used in the positive when referring to trusting in
God as the only sure foundation. Proverbs 31:11 is the only exception, mak­
ing this type of trust dangerous but also commendable. R. Laird Harris,
Gleason L. Archer, Jr., and Bruce K. Waltke, Theological Wordbook of the
Old Testament, Vol. 1 (Chicago, Ill.: Moody Press, 1980), p. 102.
6. Ephesians 5:25.
7. Proverbs 27:17.
8. A woman who truly submits to her husband actively supports him in his mis­
sion and calling. The very construction of the word submission speaks of sup­
port: sub means under, and mission speaks of purpose and vision. One who is
sub-missive is one who has come under the mission to give support.
9. Genesis 2:18.
10. Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God (Grand Rapids, Mich.:
Baker Book House, 1958), pp. 90-91.
11. In 2005 women realtors outnumbered male realtors by 54 percent in full-time
employment and 59 percent part-time (statistics taken from www.realtor.org).
12. The average woman abhors the old adage: “It’s not personal; it’s business.”
This phrase strikes at the very core of most women, who have a lot to teach
us men about the value of a relationship, especially as it applies in business.
13. This word in 31:16 (considers or devises) is “used mainly of the Lord carry­
ing out his purposes in judgment against the wicked nations or of wicked
men who devise schemes against God and the righteous. . . . The book of
Proverbs contains the broadest range of meaning relative to this term. There
is a sharp division between the negative concept of ‘men who devise evil’ and
the positive notion of ‘discretion.’ . . . The verb [form] occurs only twice, in
Proverbs, once with the normal meaning of ‘plot’ (Prov 30:32), and once in
the sense of ‘consider’ (31:16). This latter meaning is found in the epilogue of
the book, a poem honoring the woman who exemplifies wisdom at its best.

153
Notes
This excellent wife ‘considers a field and buys it.’ Instead of spending her time
dreaming up wicked schemes, she makes plans that will bring great benefit to
her family.” Harris, Archer, and Waltke, Theological Wordbook of the Old
Testament, Vol. 1 (Chicago, Ill.: Moody Press, 1980), pp. 244-245.
14. Matthew 28:18-20.
15. Ephesians 5:25-27; Revelation 21:2; 1 Peter 2:9.
16. John 21:15-19.
17. 2 Corinthians 5:11-21.
18. 2 Corinthians 2:15.
19. Craig Van Gelder, The Essence of the Church, A Community Created by the
Spirit (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Baker Books, 2000), p. 83.
20. Andrew Dornenburg and Karen Page, Culinary Artistry (New York: Van
Nostrand Reinhold, a division of International Thomson Publishing Company,
1996).
21. Stephen Baldwin, “Redemption’s Story,” Charlotte Observer, November 14,
2004, 6K.
22. John 4:34.
23. Henri Nouwen, The Wounded Healer (New York: Image Books, Doubleday,
1972), p. 89.
24. Luke 4:18-19.
25. Genesis 3:21.
26. John 13:3.
27. Edmund Clowney, The Church (Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press, 1995),
pp. 62-63.
28. Isaiah 61:10.
29. Genesis 1:28; Ephesians 5:22-33.
30. A man’s sense of a lack of significance is a leading cause in extramarital affairs
and midlife crises. A man who feels insignificant at home (due to his wife’s
lack of respect or from her henpecking) might sinfully seek significance from
another source—a secretary or co-worker, which can lead to an affair, or an
addiction to work, which can lead to workaholism. This does not excuse a man
for such actions, but it does help to explain them.
31. Genesis 1:27.
32. Galatians 3:26— 4:7.
33. Isaiah 42:6; 49:6.
34. Out of Israel would come God’s anointed Messiah, who would eventually draw
all nations to Zion (Isaiah 66:18-24).
35. C. John Miller, Outgrowing the Ingrown Church (Grand Rapids, Mich.:
Zondervan, 1986), p. 55.
36. The New International Dictionary of the Bible (Grand Rapids, Mich.:
Zondervan, 1963), p. 590.

154
 Notes
37. 2 Samuel 12:24.
38. 2 Samuel 11:2.
39. 2 Samuel 11:8-9.
40. Matthew 1:6.
41. In contrast, one of the most unattractive things to a man is a woman who is
ill-tempered, fretful, and quarrelsome (Proverbs 21:19; 25:24).
42. See Proverbs 3.
43. Proverbs 9:13.
44. See also James 3:1-12.
45. Titus 2:11-14.
46. Throughout the Scriptures, various types of figurative bread are mentioned:
The bread of the land (Numbers 15:19); bread of affliction (Deuteronomy
16:3); bread of wickedness (Proverbs 4:17), etc. In these cases, bread is either
the product of something (like the land, implying what the land yields as
food) or something in which one indulges or has been given to eat (like the
bread of wickedness).
47. Henry Fairlie, The Seven Deadly Sins Today (Notre Dame, Ind.: University of
Notre Dame Press, 1979), p. 129.
48. Philippians 2:4.
49. Ephesians 5:28-33.
50. Consider this passage from Proverbs 30:21-23 where we are given the picture
of an unappreciated woman (italics mine): “Under three things the earth trem­
bles; under four it cannot bear up: a slave when he becomes king, and a fool
when he is filled with food; an unloved woman when she gets a husband, and
a maidservant when she displaces her mistress.”
51. Ephesians 2:8-10; Titus 3:4-8.
52. Eugene Peterson, Five Smooth Stones for Pastoral Work (Grand Rapids, Mich.:
Eerdmans, 1980), pp. 64-65.
53. In Hebrew the word is emptiness, the same word that the author of Ecclesiastes
used when he wrote, “Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities!
All is vanity” (Ecclesiastes 1:2).
54. Bruce Marshall, The World, the Flesh and Father Smith (Boston, Mass.:
Houghton Mifflin, 1945), p. 108.
55. Proverbs 1:7: “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools
despise wisdom and instruction.”
56. C. S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (New York: Collier Books,
1950), pp. 75-76.
57. Revelation 5:5.

155
 BIBLIOGRAPHY

Brother Lawrence. The Practice of the Presence of God with Spiritual

Maxims. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Spire Books, 1958.
Brown, F., Driver, S. R., and Briggs, C. A. A Hebrew and English Lexicon
of the Old Testament (abridged) (Based on A Hebrew and English
Lexicon of the Old Testament, by F. Brown, S. R. Driver, and C. A.
Briggs. Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1907. Digitized and abridged as a
part of the Princeton Theological Seminary Hebrew Lexicon Project
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Chapell, Bryan. Christ-Centered Preaching. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Baker
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_____. Each for the Other, Marriage As It’s Meant to Be. Grand Rapids,
Mich.: Baker Books, 1998.
Clowney, Edmund P. The Church, from the commentary series Contours
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Doriani, Daniel. The Life of a God-made Man, Becoming a Man After
God’s Heart. Wheaton, Ill.: Crossway Books, 2001.
Dornenburg, Andrew, and Page, Karen. Culinary Artistry. New York: Van
Nostrand Reinhold, a division of International Thomson Publishing,
1996.
Dostoevsky, Fyodor. The Brothers Karamazov. Trans. Andrew H.
MacAndrew. New York: Bantam Books, Inc., 1970.
Douglas, J. D., and Tenney, Merrill C. The New International Dictionary
of the Bible. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan Publishing House,
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Fairlie, Henry. The Seven Deadly Sins Today. Notre Dame, Ind.: University
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Feyerabend, Karl. Langenscheidt’s Pocket Hebrew Dictionary to the Old
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Wordbook of the Old Testament, Vols. 1 and 2. Chicago, Ill.: Moody
Bible Institute, 1980.
Lewis, C. S. Till We Have Faces. Orlando, Fla.: Harcourt Brace
Jovanovich, 1957.
_____. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. New York: Collier Books,
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Miller, C. John. Outgrowing the Ingrown Church. Grand Rapids, Mich.:
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Nouwen, Henri J. M. The Wounded Healer. New York: Doubleday, 1979.
Peterson, Eugene. Five Smooth Stones for Pastoral Ministry. Grand
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Van Gelder, Craig. The Essence of the Church, A Community Created by
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158