Summary of Amar Jiban by Rassundari Devi

Rassundari Devi’s two sections of Amar Jiban (1868 and 1897) is prominent as
one of the early autobiographies. Being the first full length autobiography written
in Bengali by a woman, it was welcomed and received with extreme praise and
appreciation just after its publication. Unprivileged to acquire education which
barred Indian women to establish themselves as writers made this autobiography
more significant as the first part of her autobiography. She further added the
second part at the age of 88 which combined came to be known as – Amar Jiban
in 1897. The autobiography came into existence after Rassundari Devi was
widowed at the age of fifty nine.

The first compilation and publication of the autobiography, Amar Jiban was in
1868 and the final version got published in 1897. It was in two parts where the first
part comprises fifteen rachanas or compositions with a devotional poem dedicated
to Dayamadhav, the vaishnav deity. She added the second part of her
autobiography at the age of 88 and got it published in 1906.

Rassundari Devi’s Amar Jiban chronicled her life by detailing her years of
struggle as a survivor, as a child bride, a mother, a wife, a widow and ended with a
learner. She had also been a true contributor to the genre of autobiography and
made the section of women autobiography take another leap of recognition. The
great effort, ardent desire to acquire education made her the first modem
autobiographer in Bengali language. The transformed self from an illiterate
unrecognized house wife to an autobiographer was praiseworthy. The preface was
added by the famous literary figure of the nineteenth century, Jyotirindranath
Tagore. Tanika Sarkar in her book Words to Win, The Making of Amar Jiban:
A Modem Autobiography quotes him glorifying Rassundari Devi as

“Her Domestic skill match her piety and her love for God…. It was her religious
quest that inspired her to educate herself…. It was not to read plays and novels but
to read Chaitanya Bhagabat that she was so keen on learning… It is extremely
unusual to come across such an elevated exalted religious life.”

Dinesh Chandra Sen wrote an introduction to the book Reviewing the life and
writing of Rassundari Devi, Sen asserts the value of the autobiography saying,
“an entire chapter of Bengali Literature would have remained incomplete” (Sen
11) Jyotirindranath Tagore’s forward to the second edition of Amar Jiban is in all
praise of the book. He recommends that every household should own a copy of it.
According to him the book is a very powerful chronicle which would serve as
inspiration to women of various ages. He states

“I started reading -Amar Jiban’ with an excitement. I had decided that I would
mark important and interesting sentences with a pencil. While reading I realised
that the whole book had been marked with a pencil. Her life story startles us. Her
writings are so simple, honest and powerful that it is impossible to put down the
book without completing it.”

Amar Jiban, or My Life talks of Rassundari’s life on a whole: instances from

childhood, the advent of her marriage, married life and the like. On a deeper plane,
it portrays the dissatisfaction, fear and even frustration she felt at being forced to
follow a certain path- being a woman, that is. Her marriage, her household chores,
her everyday life all form the narrative, which at once gives us a window into the
life of a feudal house wife in 19th century reformist Bengal but also delves into the
issues of inequality, oppression and lack of opportunity for women. The book
creates a picture of the changing world the status and role of women and
Rassundari’s own views on the changing times.

Taking into consideration the society she was born in, lived in and was part of her
very desire for learning to read and write was an act that challenged the norms. In
fact, she writes about how public controversy on the issue of female education
made her tremble with fear.

She was fourteen when her wish to learn how to read and write first developed. As
she was already a married woman, she performed all the requisite duties of a
traditional Bengali housewife.

However, society at the time was vehemently opposed to female education and
hence her previously mentioned fear took shape.

And yet learn she did all on her own. As a child in her mother’s home, she had the
habit of observing from a distance when boys studied Bengali and Persian letters.
Not allowed to handle even a quill or a palm leaf, she had memorized these
symbols by sight. After all these years, she tried to remember those signs and
learnt to write by trying them on a blackened kitchen wall. She tried and so this
timid, extremely busy and fearful housewife managed to learn to read and write.

Throughout the book Rassundari talks of the happenings in her life from the most
significant to the most commonplace. Interestingly, many of these instances reflect
a deep unrest with respect to the status she had being a woman and further, a
sincere desire to someday see womankind with more freedom than she was
allowed. An analysis of these thoughts of hers makes it quite pellucid just why her
desire to study amounted to such passion and why she pursued it against all odds.

One such example comes in the form of her objections towards being called her
father’s daughter. Rassundari’s father passed away while she was very young and
hence she grew up believing herself to be her mother’s daughter. However, it was
her father’s name that was used to refer to her in accordance to common usage of
the time. She has written about how this saddened her and was a cause of great
anxiety. Clearly, she had a fierce sense of her own identity and desired to protect it.
Such references were commonplace – they were the norm, in fact. And yet she
found herself unable to accept these unsaid rules and this caused her great
discomfort. In this scenario, it is this discomfort, perhaps, that could be seen as
what differentiated her from most Bengali women

Another instance where we see her struggle between the throes of common
practice and her own thinking is the time of her being borne away in a palanquin
after marriage. Knowing that she must now leave what has been her home and go
to an entirely unknown place, she is terrified and weeps uncontrollably. It is the
imagery she forms of herself being like the sacrificial goat however, which is
interesting. In her usual understated tone, she seems to have commented upon the
helplessness of the woman when it came to marital affairs. Wed to an unknown
person, snatched away from home and now forced to live with and serve complete
strangers, it is not her pain but her expression that makes her unique.

One must understand, however, that Rassundari Devi was not agonized by every
single malpractice. She was a product of her environment and also possessed an
agreeable disposition in general. For example, she held her new family and the
people there in high regard. She comments that she must admit that the people
there were very good. They are fond of her. Whenever she was physically ill they
were so concerned that she forgot all her discomfort. Even the neighbors and
servants were kind. It was as though sod had asked them to be particularly nice her.

Here we see the same person who saw herself as a ‘caged bird when it came to
marriage, did at the same time respect her new family and held them with
affection.

In fact, this pattern repeats itself throughout the book: despite feeling caged and
subdued she did not resent the people around her. She used that energy to learn to
read and write. This remarkable quality of hers is perhaps what allowed her to
continue on the difficult path she had chosen for herself.

Returning to instances where her free-thinking and rebellious streak found

representation, we look at the time she became a widow. Her husband died in
February 1869 and keeping with the prevalent humiliating customs of that age, her
head was shaved. This experience was “more painful than death” for Rassundari.
Again, remarkably, her personal agony inclined her towards acknowledging the
pitiable situation of wives in general.

She laments upon her misfortune of being a woman: unable to tend to her beloved
mother while she was dying. Being very close to her mother, she deeply resented
the fact that she wasn’t allowed to go and care for her when she lay dying merely
because the housework would have suffered. Such scenes were quite common in
that era in fact.

Also, we see that Rassundari again chose her writing as a refuge from the harsh
reality. It was her escape, her method of fighting for herself as is evident by the
aforementioned incident. Recounting details of events which occurred several
decades earlier, Rassundari’s memoirs are alive with the tensions and anguish she
had to silently bear. They also speak of a single-minded determination to overcome
the situation

One sees through countless references throughout the book that she had an
unshakeable trust in the Almighty and this belief was a source of infinite strength a
source she counted upon quite often. All her pains were bearable as God willed
them to be, and it is God’s name that gave her the strength to persevere and
continue despite the difficulties she faced. In fact it can be recalled that it was her
desire to read religious books that was the primary reason for her learning to read.
It was her firm belief that god wanted her to learn to read and write, and hence all
common usage and oppression ceased to hold her back.

Conclusively, Amar Jiban gives the reader an insight into the life of a housewife
in the house of a prosperous East Bengali Zamindar. It chronicles the saddening
realities of a girl child in the 19th century. It talks of pain, subordination and
oppression. It reflects angst, loss and a cry for help.

It also, however, talks of resilience. Of the perseverance of a woman determined to

live her own life despite being held back by custom and usage. Amar Jiban speaks
in lucid prose of a woman that taught herself to read and write beneath the veil of
her saree. It talks of the woman who wrote the first published autobiography, a
woman who practised letters on a kitchen wall.

Amar Jiban as an Autobiography

Malavika Karlekar in her book on the early personal narratives of Bengali
women Voices from Within (1991) notes that any personal writing by a woman is
a conscious act in which her ‘inner self gets reflected’. At the process, the writer
turns to be a different ‘being’, very different from what she is otherwise in her day-
to-day life.

Rassundari Devi, due to her great effort, became the first modern
autobiographer in Bengali language. Her transformation from an illiterate
unknown housewife to a writer of an important genre of literature is thus
praiseworthy. Most importantly when she started her autobiography she was
already a widow who had attained the age of sixty. The fact that she completed the
first part of her autobiography as early as 1868 is a matter of significance because
barring a few Indian women in general never had privilege to get a formal
education so that they could aspire to become a writer.

Rassundari later added a second part to her autobiography which combinedly came
out with a title Amar Jiban in 1897 when she was eighty-eight. The preface to the
book was written by Jyotindranath Tagore, Rabindranath Tagore’s elder brother
who praised for its “excellence” and recommended that every household in Bengal
should have a copy of it.

Dinesh Chandra Sen wrote an introduction to the book Reviewing the life and
writing of Rassundari Sen emphasized the significance of the autobiography
saying, “an entire chapter of Bengali literature would have remained incomplete”
(p.11) had this book not been written. He went to an extent suggesting that Amar
Jiban was not merely “the account of Rassundari but a story of all Hindu women
of her time.”

Learning how to read and write for Rassundari was virtually an impossible task.
Getting married at the age of twelve she had heavy responsibilities of running a
large household and taking care of her eleven children. Rassundari writes how it
was difficult for her to manage her household duties even if she was busy doing the
work beginning from dawn till midnight. Time was not her only problem. It was
believed at that time by the women in Bengal and other parts of the country that if
women started learning to read and write their husbands would die as a
consequence of their violative action. Thus, female education was never
encouraged in the antahpur. But Rassundari’s zeal for education was never let
down by the prohibitive social system.

Rassundari informs us, how miserable she felt when her thirst for reading
Chaitanya Bhagabat arose in her mind. What possible steps she would have taken
to fulfill her dream is difficult for us to imagine. She is frank in the book about her
stealing of a page from her husband’s Bhagabat and hiding it under the hearth of
the kitchen. Whenever she found leisure time she tried to memorize the letters,
which she had come across during her childhood days, stealthily.

One can now understand what a great effort went into Rassundari Devi’s becoming
literate and to write such an autobiography. Rassundari herself bestows all credit to
god. That’s why perhaps, at the beginning of every Composition she invokes her
God to help her in her mission. She also openly confesses her doubts and
difficulties before God asking for excuses if she went wrong.

It must be mentioned here that by invoking the grace of God Rassundari did not in
any way reconcile herself with the abjectness of her life calling it ‘fate’ or god-
given. Rather she advocated a kind of social policy throughout her writing making
it as an agenda in what Tanika Sarkar, a historian calls succinctly, “the social
making.” In other words, by writing her autobiography Rassundari was very
much aware of the fact that she was going to reveal some home-truths, such as,
women’s education, problems of motherhood, status of widowhood, etc. which are
all modem topics relevant for discussion even today.

Rassundari’s main critique was targeted at ‘family’ which is even today known as
“a repressive and oppressive institution” especially for women. And Rassundari
was justified. The situations of pre-modem Bengali family can be best known from
the descriptions of the antahpur tradition. As had been the tradition an upper
caste/class family had a pure compartmentalization of dwellings i.e., the inner and
the outer rooms. Men who were generally educated and in-charge of dealing with
the public were the lords of the houses. On the other hand, women were compelled
to live an isolated life in the inner rooms round the clock busying themselves doing
what was commonly known as women’s duties. Cooking took most of their time,
Rassundari records how three fourths of her day was spent on preparing food only.
And, there were hundred and one chores to be attended to. One cannot believe how
miserably they spent their lives unless and until one hears the account from one of
the victims.
Living together for more than forty five years Rassundari recalls, she never talked
to her husband face to face. This was a tradition of her time and she followed it
meticulously. In the book she always addressed him as karla and revered him,
perhaps, next to her God. This was not unusual because the time Rassundari wrote
her life-story men folk commanded more respect both inside and outside the
household. The idea that they were the sole bread earners of the house, perhaps,
made them to assume extra power in the family. Women were treated as inferior
and they became the immediate victims in the family.

Assuming power men also controlled women’s movements. They never allowed
their women to cross the boundary gates to go for even socializing – let alone
allow them to work outside and be independent economically. Earlier we have
already mentioned the compartmental lifestyles of antahpur where women were
confined to their inner apartments. Inheriting such tradition Rassundari never got
let down. She even never accused anybody in person for such arrangements. She,
however, registered protest against the orthodox Hindu tradition which as she
believed, was responsible for the low status of women in her time and society. On
the other hand, it may seem strange at this stage to quote Rassundari when she had
all praises for her husband in unequivocal terms.

The tales of this book are obviously personal. But the way she portrayed her social
and domestic life is nothing but a true picture of every woman Dinesh Chandra
Sen rightly comments:

“This biography cannot be ignored for being a personal account only. It is an

account of a typical Hindu woman. The woman, who simply told us her own tale,
delineated the social picture unheeded. Amar Jiban is not only an account of
Rassundari but an account of all the Hindu women of that time; there is no other
instance, in Bengali literature, of such an exact and truthful picture of women.
Now it seems that a chapter of Bengali literature was never revealed unless this
was written.”

Thus, Amar Jiban is a true picture of the contemporary society framed within the
autobiography of a woman. Her autobiography constitutes itself as an instance of
how to write about the self in relation to events and persons, and in relation to the
life of the soul, devotion to a deity, and aspiration towards the infinite. She
reconnected her past to the present. Thus she represented two generations. So,
Dinesh Chandra Sen rightly said:

“We can gloriously disclose to the world an example of Bengali housewife.”

 Amar Jiban as a Feminist Text
Amar Jiban was written and published in two parts. The first consisted of sixteen
rachanas or compositions. The second part came out in the year 1906, consisting of
fifteen rachanas or compositions. Every composition is preceded by a devotional
poem dedicated to her Dayamadhav, the Vaishnav godhead whom Rassundari
Devi had chosen.

Written in chaste Bangla, Amar Jiban narrates the life story of a nineteenth
century woman’s struggle for literacy. It portrays the changing world of rural
Bengal and situates women there.

Rassundari has narrated her life story in two ways. On one hand, she writes that
God’s mercy and benevolence towards her has made it possible for her to achieve
literacy. On the other hand, she also shows how she has made her own decisions in
life by learning to read despite the fear of family disapproval and social ostracism.
She praises God’s leela, but also recounts all the hard work and self-determination
she has put in to learn reading.

Scholars like Tanika Sarkar and Meenakshi Malhotra have observed that
Rassundari Devi creates the persona of a “bhakt” (devotee) for herself, and
presents all the small and big events of her life as exemplars of God’s mercy or
leela, including her access to the written word. Thus her transgressive act of
learning to read becomes an instance of godly intervention, a divine purpose, a
consequence of God’s will and mercy.

Rassundari Devi has written Amar Jiban in retrospection. The struggle to learn to
read is being described when she has already mastered the art of writing. She
describes the past in terms of vivid immediacy of feelings, she ignores dates, time,
and other factual details, and focuses on descriptions of her every day household
life. And yet sentimentality is not something Rassundari would indulge in while
writing. Amar Jiban is written in a dispassionate, objective style.

Rassundari Devi’s life is a series of actions and decisions that are serious
departures from the patriarchal social norms of her time and are, therefore,
‘transgressions’ punishable by the society.

Rassundari Devi learned to read and write amidst the popular belief in those days
that women who gained? Literacy brought disaster upon their families and were
punished by God with widowhood. Not only did she learn to read, but she also
decided to record the events and details of her everyday domestic life in a book and
got it published. She had the audacity to disclose her life in print. By doing this,
she entered the public sphere which was strictly forbidden to upper class Hindu
women. A published work no longer remains a private act of writing but enters the
public domain where it is open and available for perusal and interrogation by
anyone. So there are three major ‘transgressions’ that Rassundari Devi commits
according to patriarchy reading, writing and entering the public sphere.

Rassundari also made a notable departure from the common patriarchal belief that
female worship can only be expressed in the form of rituals like vrats (fasts),
penance, and cooking bhoga (food for god). Rassundari rejected these
conventional, ritualistic forms of woman’s devotion that served in maintaining the
patriarchal social structures, and established an intellectual relationship with her
God by learning to read Chaitanya Bhagavata. She chose to engage in a kind of
worship where she is an active participant (like her husband and other men), not a
passive devotee.

Many Bengali male authors and poets who came after Rassundari Devi wrote
about the greatness of a housewife by positing her as ‘grihalakshmi‘ or the
domesticated goddess. Patriarchy has always presented the figure of a
grihalakshmi as an ideal woman whose salvation and satisfaction lay in her
servitude, and whose happiness lies in the happiness of her husband and children.
Rassundari Devi, in her writing, demystifies the figure of the grihalakshmi by
presenting her domestic duties as labour which is tiresome, repetitive,
unrecognised, and far from emotionally fulfilling. Her assertion that

“I did everything in a spirit of duty” is indicative of her emotional detachment]

from the household work. “Instead of viewing labour in an aesthetic and
romanticized way as male writers like Tagore tended to do, Rassundari
deconstructs the iconic figure of the housewife in Amar Jiban.” (Malhotra, 2016)
She also demystifies the nurturing maternal figure by describing her work of
feeding and looking after children as physically laborious. In this manner,
Rassundari’s life writing contests the male representation of women in literature.

Rassundari Devi’s life writing is a testimony of the odds against education of

women of her generation. After describing all the steps she took to gain literacy
including the stealing of sheets and palm leaves, she writes:

“Wasn’t it a matter to be regretted, that I had to go through all this humiliation just
because I was a woman? Shut up like a thief, even trying to learn was considered
an offence. It is such a pleasure to see the women today enjoying so much
freedom. These days parents of single girl child take so much care to educate her.
But we had to struggle so much just for that.”

In the words of Debarati Sen,

“Child marriage and the deep scar that it left on its young victims had probably
never had a better spokesperson than Rassundari. She exposes the shallow motives
behind this evil practice which were the fear of female sexuality and the anxiety to
control it.”

Rassundari describes her child marriage and the agony of separation from her
mother thus:

“If I am asked to describe my state of mind, I would say it was very much like the
sacrificial goat being dragged to the altar, the same hopeless situation, the same
agonized screams.” She adds, “People put birds in cages for their own
amusement. Well, I was like a caged bird. And I would have to remain in this cage
for life. I would never be freed.”

In fact, the metaphor of a bird being caged is quite dominant in Rassundari’s

autobiography. She saw herself as a prisoner of marriage from where she wished
to break free and transcend her worldly duties as a wife, mother, and daughter-in-
law to meet her God.

Rassundari Devi has described her experiences of pregnancy and child birth in a
very detailed and frank manner at a time when they were considered taboo topics
for women to speak. Writing about her pregnancy and sharing it with the public by
publishing is certainly a very feminist thing to do. Moreover,

“she recalls with great wonder how her body flowered and bore fruits through
divine intervention, which could be also a veiled reference to her satisfied sex life.”

Rassundari Devi, while writing about the hardships she had to face as a child bride
and the risks she had to take to gain literacy, rejoices in the fact that the times are
changing and some parents have started educating their daughters. Rassundari Devi
is definitely an advocate of women’s right to education though she doesn’t mention
it explicitly in her autobiography. Rassundari Devi’s life story is an inspiration and
a testimony of a woman’s will power to fight all odds in order to gain education
and liberation.
 Critical Analysis of Amar Jiban by Rassundari Devi
The nineteenth century, considered as the Renaissance period of India witnessed
the emergence of new trends and recasting of almost every sphere of life. The first
half of the century saw the classic literary works revived by the works of the
bygone ages by colonizers to understand and prove the backwardness and
uncivilized state of the society. On the basis of these findings, they brought forth
the atrocious nature of the Indian civilization and started the mission of civilizing
the society to justify their rule in India. Their assumption and description of Indian
society was based on their findings of the status and treatment of women in the
Indian society. Such establishment of thought, in one way strengthened the grip of
colonial rule in India and in the other way paved way for the reformative efforts of
women issues. This gradually led women to form a private but a segregated space
of their own where they could reign supreme. This private space enabled them to
keep their spiritual culture safe and secure.

The nineteenth century was also the period of economic and political upheavals
and made a lot of women involved in the public and private spheres of life with a
greater effort of introspection and retrospection. The advent of printing press made
this period encounter good number of self narratives and prison narratives. The late
19th century saw advent of women writers of personal narratives, including full
length structural autobiographies, dairies, personal letters, memoirs etc. The
women of this period with a new spark of education produced a large number of
autobiographies. The essay on ‘Women and the Nation’ by Partha Chatterjee,
explored the causes of sudden production of autobiography especially by women in
this period and found that it is because of the male’s assessment of autobiography
by women. The male guardians thought writing autobiography didn’t require much
literary skill and effort. It is simply a retelling of the impressions of direct personal
experiences by the use of memory. Eventually, most of the autobiographies
produced in this period were not merely ‘smritikatha’ or ‘memories or stories from
memory, but mainly remains to be a clear depiction of their journey of realisation
of their self. These autobiographies also became a record of their consequential
interaction with others. Finally on deeper analyzation, the women autobiographies
of this period can be taken as pugnacious and conflicting under their subtle
expressions, providing multiple layers of ideas and meanings to their texts.
Education and writing autobiography was a male construct and were imparted to
women only to sustain the nationalist women construct. The coastal area of Bengal
came fairly in touch of British and English education which paved the way for
liberal ideas resulting to the reforms. The ideas about reforms were introduced,
debated, discussed and contested. Breaking the clutches of work, burden, social
responsibilities in the pretext of liberal and reformist perspective women, very
often were motivated to be liberated and thus we find the earliest writers of
autobiography. Somehow to carry the insights they led themselves to be educated.
This education, though rudimentary in nature brought about awareness and new
insights. This was a newly created sphere for women, but there was hardly any
genuine space of expression for them. Initially they made quite good efforts to
assert themselves but gradually as the period wore on, subtle resistance and
constrained expressions became visible in their writings. In good many number of
times, when they found a vent to express themselves, their voices and ideas were
interpreted in connection to the prevalent notions and in different light. These
women not only tried to bring about reforms and liberalities in their country but
also tried to revolutionalize their character and identity in their own spaces. They
opened their hearts and recorded every details in their memoirs. R.P Sinha in his
book The Indian Autobiographies in English very clearly states that:

“The Literary renaissance that began with India’s contact with England made a
remarkable contribution as it excited and stimulated the autobiographical impulse
in Indians.”

The book chronicles the life of Rassundari Devi by letting us know how she
suffered each day being illiterate. As customary to the autobiographical writings,
Rassundari Devi began her autobiography with her childhood details. She was born
in a rural Zamindar family in the village of Potajia in Pabna (Western Bangladesh)
in 1809/1810. Her father was a Zamindar, Padmalochan Roy whom she lost at a
very early age. She mentioned her childhood descriptions in two sections, the
childhood spent in her maternal house hold and the childhood spent in her marital
household. She was brought up by her widow mother who was a guide and
emotional support for her and the autobiography portrays ample of references to
her mother. Out of all her mother’s teaching, faith in God was one which had a lot
of significance in structuring her life as a strong individual. Her mention of
childhood and later years remained replete with the glimpse of her mother. The
placement of her mother in the autobiography is very strategic as her mother
remained to be the only influential character in shaping her as a strong willed
woman. She proved to be a true feminist in the mention of her mother. An analysis
and deeper reading of the text present Rassundari Devi’s approval in the female
agency and aversion to the male authoritative positions. Initial parts of the
autobiography expressed her desire for freedom through the agential position of
her mother. The introduction to God, by her mother liberated her from her bound
state of repressed emotions and desires. She beautifully mentioned that she was
proud to be the daughter of her mother and equally scared to be the child of a dead
man i.e. her father who died very early. Her recognition of the efforts of a mother
and her helpless condition showing her of not being able to be of any use to her
mother was evident in the following lines:

“I never knew that a mother has to suffer so much for the sake of her children.
People never realize these things unless they go through similar pressures. Now I
know perfectly well the tortures a mother has to undergo because of her children.
Every human being should know this. Most people do not have any knowledge
about the matter. I regret to say that I have not taken good care of my own mother,
who was so affectionate. A mother is a very precious thing – it is my misfortune
that I did not understand it. She suffered so much for any sake. But I was not of
any use to her. She did not derive any benefit from me. She used to cry for me and
wanted to have me over. But I am a virtual prisoner here. They never sent me to
her because the household work here would suffer. I was allowed to go back to
attend some family festival had to return in a couple of days like a slave.”

In the very significant part of the autobiography that dealt with the mother
daughter relationship, Rassundari Devi not only presented her entrapped condition
but also brought to light the criticism of many social orders. The poignant
description of her sufferings at the failure to visit her ailing mother helped her to
bring to light the discrimination meted out to a girl and covertly refered to the self
centeredness and mean mindedness of the patriarchs. Lamenting on her state she
writes:

“About fifteen people accompanied me on the boat along with two senior men and
two maid servants. I was allowed to visit my people only under certain conditions.
I was allowed to go only on special occasions not otherwise When my mother lay
on her deathbed she wanted to very badly see me. I have caused her sorrow, hateful
sinner I am. I tried my utmost, but could not go. It is my misfortune. It is a matter
of no ordinary regret. Alas, my God, why did you let me born as a human being?”

Tanika Sarkar, in Hindu Wife, Hindu Nation: Community, Religion and Cultural
Nationalism expounds the mentality of the patriarchs in not allowing the brides to
go to their natal home and writes

“The local patriarchy retained deep suspicion about the girl’s natal home and also
about her incomplete emotional integration with her new family. Visits to the
paternal home were a rare pleasure, dependent upon the whim of the new
authorities. They were mostly withheld: the bride soon became the source of the
hardest domestic labour within the new household and her absence was intolerable.
The wife who spends a large slice of her time with her own parents, is a woman
who deprives her new masters of valuable labour time.”

Rassundari Devi spoke of her socialization in her maternal as well as marital house
in a very subtle way. Maintaining all cautions to carry on her pious image, which
was socially very desirable for women of that period, she clarifies how girls were
socialized only to be efficient home makers and to lead a life of self sacrifice. In
her childhood, nobody bothered whether she learned the alphabet in school or not,
on the contrary she was the apple of everyone’s eyes as soon as they came to know
about her culinary skills and efficiency in managing the household chores. Being
devoid of any formal education, Rassundari Devi just tried to have some access to
learning when her younger brothers received education from a missionary woman.
They received education by a woman from missionary, which was like a formal
school providing education to the boys, Rassundari Devi, being very eager to learn,
would listen to the boys repeating the letters of the alphabet and try to learn. But
very soon the school was burnt down and left her devoid of education. The letters
learned at the early childhood had a great impact in her mind and she could
recognize the letters of alphabet and read with difficulty but her heart’s desire was
to read fearlessly.

In the progression of life, she got married to a man named Nilamani Roy from a
well to do landed household from Rajbari, Faridpur. With marriage came the
separation from home and mother at a very tender age. Her shifting to the village
called Ramdia had several references in her autobiography. She talked about the
people of Ramdia who were very caring and kind but her detachment from own
place took a toll on her and left her crying for many days. Her only solace at that
time was her memories of childhood and her belief in God. She received ample
love and affection from all the unknown people of the marital house but the desire
to read and write kept thumping in her heart from time to time. She was
extraordinarily skillful in craft works; her skills of clay toy making became a
troublesome matter for everyone in the family and after a terrible incident she
realized that she had to stop it. This gathered her great praise from everybody. It
was evident that Rassundari Devi very subtly tried to hint how the skills and
desires of women were considered insignificant and dutiful attitude was applauded.
She was quite polite but criticizing when she found the women folk following the
male counterparts blindly. Her bent of mind became evident when she repeated the
derogatory comments of the people she overheard about women ruling and
subordinating men. In her consent towards women’s education and rule, she
showed her aversion as well as fear against societal notions. She remarked by
pointing out the people’s comments thus:
“I was only fourteen then. Around this time, the idea that I should learn how to
read books entered my mind. But unfortunately girls were not supposed to read
those days, ?What is the world coming to?? they used to say ? To think that women
will be doing the work of men! Never heard of it before. In this new ace even this
has come to be true! These days women are becoming famous and men seem good
for nothing. Such strange things never happened before. There is even a woman
ruler on the throne. Who knows that other changes are in store for us! The way
things are going, a decent man will very soon lose his caste. Pretty soon the
womenfolk will get together and study books? When I overheard these
conversations I used to feel really scared. I have never dared to tell anyone about
my desires – but now I became afraid they might come to know what was on my
mind. I dared not look at a page with written letters on it, in case they attributed it
to my desire for learning. But I prayed constantly to God. I said? Please, God, help
me learn, so that I can read religious books.”

Gradually she became engrossed in her daily chores, at the age of fourteen, she
took the responsibility of the whole house with her mother in law falling sick and
bedridden. With the childbirth things became worse and kept her life surrounded
by domestic duties. She became mother at the age of eighteen and bore twelve
children out of which, seven and died early. Her life moved on with all the ups and
downs but she had that sole desire to achieve something which was forbidden for
the womenfolk of the time.

Gaining literacy was a tremendous impossible task for women of that period. Her
life had abundance of household work to be done where she had heavy
responsibilities of running a large family of elders with eleven children of her own.
The duties of a large joint family kept her engrossed in work from dawn to
midnight. Time was also a great matter and hindrance in her willingness to learn or
educate herself. Moreover, it was a general belief that women, if learned to read
and write, their husbands will have to suffer the consequences of their deed with
death. Studies for woman was considered to be abysmal and violative action.
Education was a far away thing, even being born as a woman in India was like
indignity as she confessed in her autobiography that it was a matter of utter
humiliation to suffer just because of being born as woman. Rassundari further
clarified her statement by showcasing the condition of women as they were shut up
and kept devoid of expression like a thief. When expression was considered to be
audacity, then it is obvious that learning was taken as an immoral act. Reading and
writing was assumed to be an offence. Though she was aware that times had
changed and women were allowed for attaining education. She pointed out in her
autobiography which she wrote in her late eighties that by that time women were
fortunate enough that their parents were eager to send their daughters for
education. Her attainment of education was a herculean task which she attributes to
God, by whose favour she could achieve her heart’s desire.

Rassunadri had been a social critic, she raised genuine questions on the prevalent
customs but tried to be subtle and soft in her approach. She criticised the custom of
child marriage but superficially reading it appears to be an innocent description of
child marriage and its consequences. It lamented the state of girl separated from
her mother by the institution of marriage entrapping her for a lifetime in a caged
household by snatching all her freedom. The period when Rassundari Devi wrote,
was a period of women writing with reticence but Rassundari Devi’s
autobiography was exceptional in this regard as the entire narrative was a reflective
journey of the self. The relationship of Rassundari Devi with her husband, children
and other members of the family got only mechanical and perfunctory mention in
the narrative. The time when women were completely restricted to the household
duties and not allowed to have a self-opinion, she not only brought forth her
relentless efforts to learn to write and read against the prevalent social norms but
also discussed many intimate matters like the physical and mental changes after
puberty, experiences of childbirth etc. These details were expressed, but very
dignifiedly with a strategic silence which allowed the readers to frame their
opinion and understand the sad plight of a woman in the hands of male dominated
society. This was the same silence that had helped her in preventing the distortion
of her pious image and brought a great appeal towards the autobiography. She
adopted the same calculative and strategic way in her narration of the most
intimate relation of her life i.e. with her husband. He had been showcased as man
of great potential and dignity but there had been ample places where she had hinted
about his behavior as the cause of her misery. Out of few oblique references the
noteworthy was when she mentioned that it was the supreme duty of the wife to
care and look after every aspect of her husband’s well being. She mentions:

Actually the man who was my master happened to be a likable person. But it is
difficult to ignore or reject accepted customs and practices. That is why I had to
undergo all that misery

In another incident, by giving the same reference she adds:

“I used to get up before the children woke up in order to do all the work around the
house. I even started cooking before they were up. After feeding the children I
finished whatever else was left to be done. Then I had to make my offerings to the
family deity and get ready to prepare the meals for the rest of the family. I had to
cook quite a lot about twelve seers of rice for each meal. The master of the house
had to eat his meal if rice just after he had bathed in the morning. He would not eat
anything else. So I had to cook specially for him first.”

Rassundari Devi had to make her autobiography acceptable in the nationalists’

dominated public sphere of the nineteenth century. For this she maintained a pious
housewifely image in detailing everything. In all her expressions she maintained to
overshadow the caustic effects from her criticism of the indigenous customs that
could hamper her image yet very strategically she put forth her thoughts and left
the readers to judge and discuss. It should be noted that this was an autobiography
by a woman in her seventies who lived her life but there were tinges of
dissatisfaction here and there. She had been a penchant critique of the customs of
the society framed by the patriarchs.

The zeal and thirst for education finally turned into quest for identity for
Rassundari Devi as she realized very soon that if women had to be identified or
recognized in the society, they needed to be equipped with literacy. She rejected
the social inhibitions and crossed the limits set for women and stepped ahead
towards education. Moreover her faith in God and determination never allowed her
to surrender to the prohibitive social system. She credited God for bestowing her
with the ability and courage to continue and pursue her passion which was evident
in her invocation to God at the beginning of every composition. When faced with
problems and indisciveness, she went to her seclusion and this religious seclusion
boosted her with patience and courage to deal with the inflictions dawned upon her
by society or by her community. Critics have even regarded this religious seclusion
as a freedom by itself and assertion of her individual identity. Malavika Karlekar is
quite apt in assessing her religious collaboration as:

“Recounting details of events which occurred several decades earlier Rassundari’s

memoirs are alive with the tensions and anguish she had to silently bear. They also
speak of a single-minded determination to overcome the situation. She turned to
religion, as a source of comfort from a life of dependence and subordination. The
satisfaction she achieved through personalized devotion and the worship of Lord
Krishna appeared to compensate in part for a life of drudgery and inequality.
Religion gave Rassundari a sense of self worth, an identity. The right to seek her
God was not one which could be questioned or curtailed by temporal authorities.”

Her thirst for education grew stronger with her eagerness to read Chaitanya
Bhagabat’. She wrote that she had taken innumerable small and big steps to satiate
the thirst which even led her to the extent of stealing a page from her husband’s
=Bhagbat’, which she hid in the hearth of the kitchen stealthily. She tried to
memorize the letters she had got acquainted with in the childhood. It is quite
unimaginable to assess what possible steps and courage she might have possessed
to get success in learning to read and write her autobiography. In fact the entire
process of learning to read revolves around her urge to read the scriptures which
were in one way prohibited for women of that period. God had always been her
constant companion in the path of productivity in her life where she not only
invokes God to help her in her mission but also openly confesses everything that
she had done in her life. She also seeks God’s assistance in dealing with every
doubt and difficulty in her life. She even seeks for forgiveness and asks God to
excuse her whenever she went wrong. Her pact with God did not make her come in
compromisation with the adversities of her life which was being devoid of
education. She credits God for every noteworthy or menial event of her life as
God’s mercy or lela. She even goes to the extent that her transgressive act of
reading is God’s intervention and God’s will which has happened as a divine
purpose. Anees Jung in her book Breaking The Silence (1997), beautifully
describes that Indian women find a sanctuary in the puja room where they gain
courage and strength to be able to endure and face the challenges of everyday life.

Her description of the self and courage to fight all the adversities of life is derived
from God which remains to be an element of piousness of her image and her
autobiography. God plays an important role in her life. She attributes God’s
blessings as her sole saviour and pathfinder in her life. She declares that her
introduction to God quite early in life by her mother has led her life in the
designated path of duty. It is God who helped her bear the trauma of early
marriage, separation of her mother, following the rituals and difficult household
duties etc. God also serves to be an inspiration in her life who helped her in her
urge to study as well as prompted her to read and write. This same mention of God
is also used by her as a justification of her wish of studying which was considered
a taboo during that period. Her mention of God in the narration becomes universal
invocation for courage and determination. She mentions beautifully that her every
wish has been fulfilled by God who somehow made every end meet to help His
devotee. To present an instance, she mentions:

Our home contained many books. Perhaps the Chaitanya Bhagavata is one of them,
I thought to myself. But what did it matter to me, after all? An illiterate woman
like me wouldn’t even recognize the book. So I prayed God again, saying: You are
the friend of the poor; allow me to recognize the book. You must let me have that
book. You are the only one whom I can approach. That was how I prayed to God
silently. How strange are the ways of Gold and the effects of his kindness! He
heard my prayers and set out to grant me my wish. My eldest son was eight. I was
working in the kitchen one day when my husband came in and said to him? Bipin,
I am leaving my Chaitanya Bhagvata here. Please bring it over when I ask you to.?
Saying that he put the book down and went back to the outer house. I listened from
Kitchen. No words express the delight I felt when I heard his words. I was filled
with happiness and rushed to the spot to find the book there. Pleased with myself, I
said to God, You have granted my wish,’ and I picked the book up.”

The autobiography becomes a true chronicle of every woman’s journey towards

their wishes and fulfillment of desires by fighting all odds in life. She beautifully
reveals grave issues related to woman’s life where she gradually turns into a full
time labourer bearing the responsibility of every other soul around her. The
revealed truths of a house wife managing the entire household, the issues of a child
bride, complexities of motherhood, condition and status of widowhood are all very
familiar modern topics of discussion even in the present day. Though all the issues
of her life somehow revolved around her willingness to acquire education by
which she could bring out the grave realities of the then women’s life. In broader
sense she provokes the issues of gender equality as rightly observed by Tanika
Sarkar:

“She (Rassundari Devi) refers to her life as entirely of God’s designing, but she
does, nonetheless, have a clear sense of social making of it. On certain issues, she
speaks in a declamatory voice, where she describes the painful consequences of
social regulations. She, clearly, is addressing a modern readership here which is
already debating these matters: on women’s education about the restrictions of old
times, about the relentless pressure of domestic labour, the problems of
motherhood. In fact, while on the last point she says that this is something that
everybody should know about her grossly overworked daily routine, she says that
though these are uncomfortable matters to mention, it is necessary to briefly
describe a day or two of her life. She therefore, is acutely conscious that she is
educating her readers about gender issues, and she adopts an appropriate tone”.

The urge for education in Rassundari Devi was such that every sight of paper
brought the same uncontrollable desire. She started cursing herself for having the
desire to learn to read as it was an evil desire for women of cultured households
didn’t read. It was made to an issue if women were spotted in any way with papers
in their hands. Women were meant to look after the household and children as
these were menial jobs whereas studying was respectable job and was to be done
only by the male counterparts. Initially the desire was only to learn to read so that
she could read the religious scriptures which was forbidden for women. She
aspired to be literate to be able to read religious texts and recite hymns. She
constantly struggled to learn to read as she tore pages from her husband’s books
and her children’s books, hid them in the kitchen and carefully learned to match
the words to make an identification with the alphabet. She made herself capable of
leaming at the age of twenty six with relentless toil but her process of writing was
a much faraway thing. It was only possible when her son expressed his annoyance
about her not replying the letters. The entire process of her learning may seem
alien thing to the present readers but she recalls the tough but very desirable period
of her life by saying that she got very impatient to listen to the recitation of
Ramayana. As women had no freedom those days, she couldn’t take any decision
on her own to go beyond the rules to fulfill her desire of doing something on her
own. She was fearful of getting caught and punished. She even had to keep her
pious image intact and she never wanted to bring any disgrace to the family. She
felt like a caged bird whose wings were cut. Her desire to read started with her
eagerness to read ‘Chetan Bhagat’. Thus, Rassundari Devi’s education started with
the study of religious texts.

The book presents the radical attitude of a Hindu upper caste pious women where
the protests against the patriarchal rule and set norms for women is not articulated
in a very open and refusive way. She can be seen as a woman out of few who laid
the foundation for a movement for women’s liberation and change in India. She
remarks on the treatment of woman as:

Women were not supposed to get an education in those days, they had to stand by
demurely near the master of the house after all their housework was over, as
though they had no other work except household tasks. That was how people used
to think in those days. A special rule for the daughter in law was to work with sari
pulled down over the face and not talk to anyone. These were considered as a signs
of a good daughter in law.

Rassundari Devi showed traits of a social rebel. She wanted women to be educated,
literate and self reliant. She had modern thoughts for women as she Wished
women to enjoy freedom and equality like men. This enlightment of thought could
be a result of the change in tradition, India was witnessing due to the British rule.
The modern liberal and democratic forces influenced people like Rasundari Devi to
give vent to her liberated thoughts in her best possible way through the text.

My only effort was to please people through the work I did in the house. My only
regret was that I was not able to read and write because I was a girl. Women of
today are so lucky. Many parents educate their daughters I think this is a good
practice.

She further adds:

“After some time the desire to learn how to read properly grew very strong in me. I
was angry with myself for wanting to read books. Girls did not read. How could I?
what a peculiar situation I had placed myself in. What was I to do? This was one of
the bad aspects of the old system. The other aspects were not so bad. People used
to deprive women of learning. How unfortunate those women were, they said.
They were no better than animals. But it is no use blaming others. Our fate is our
own. In fact, older women used to show a great deal of displeasure if they saw a
piece of paper in the hands of a woman. So that ruled out my chances of getting
any education. But somehow I could not accept this.”

All through the history women’s expressions and voices have been muted. Many
women have admitted to their fate and accepted the dominance without showing
any signs of rebellion. Many other section of women have taken refuge in the silent
service of the familial duties, Education has lead Rassundari Devi discuss the
issues that are popularly known as the basis of feminism. She, through her
narration presents the picture of thousands of women’s pathetic life of confinement
and subjugation. Her own suffering under the patriarchal dominance and constant
urge for self emancipation finally made her to be vocal about the system that does
not allow women to seek their basic rights. This self expression possessed by her is
entirely credited to her educational attainment.