Something Golden

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/40567737.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: F/M
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Relationship: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Additional Tags: Angst, Death Eater Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy is Bad at Feelings,
Draco Malfoy Hates Everyone, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Battle
of Hogwarts, Physical Abuse, Grief/Mourning, Self-Harm, Sorry Bill
Weasley, rated t for trauma, draco loves knives, no beta so enjoy the
fucking typos, carmen is a simp for draco malfoy, Draco Malfoy in
Therapy, Found Family, Draco is a dad in the second epilogue, Memory
Loss, Pining Draco, Draco pov, Hogwarts Era, Post Battle of Hogwarts,
Canon Divergence, death eater draco, yes it's first person, hermione
granger is dumb, like really dumb, she'll probably piss you off, she gets
better eventually though, ginny is great, Dark Draco, toxic and unhinged
draco malfoy, draco hates blueberry scones, is Hermione actually that
bad or is Draco just an unreliable narrator?, you'll get a hea but you have
to suffer first, there were two beds but it still ended up being a one bed
trope
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of Something Golden
Collections: WIPs I’m still reading, Dramione re-reads, Dramione TBR 😎,
Completed Read Dramione, R, Dramione to Die For, To all the fics I've
read before, future reads, holy crap dramione is hot, Draco and Hermione
Go Horcrux Hunting, Dramione
Stats: Published: 2022-07-25 Completed: 2022-11-21 Words: 290,935
Chapters: 94/94
 Something Golden
by justalazywriterr

Summary

"Hermione Granger is undoubtedly the most irritatingly opinionated, patronizing,

overbearing, excruciatingly optimistic and self righteous human being I have ever met but
there's something about her that draws you in, something golden." -D.M.

What is the plot of this fic? The plot is Draco Malfoy having a terrible fucking time and
never being able to catch a break. It will begin fifth year and take you through his journey of
being a death eater, the Battle of Hogwarts and post-war. It will loosely follow some canon
events but timelines and dates may not be identical. The story itself is one big what if. What
if Draco and Hermione started dating before he became a death eater? What if Draco had
been present for certain events during the horcrux hunt? What if the war ended this way and
these certain people were lost? The characters and story are in no way meant to be canon but
instead, an exploration into other possible characterizations of them.

It's also wise to remember, this is entirely from Draco's point of view. Who is to say that he's
a reliable narrator?

Notes

WARNING : mentions of abuse, annoying and immature Hermione Granger, graphic

depictions of violence, self harm and mentions of suicide.

Binding Policy: blanket permission to bind for personal use, gifts or bind exchanges. My
work is to never be bound for any exchange of money.

Translations: permitted. However, please link the original story.

 Chapter 1
Chapter Summary

Welcome to Part One

Chapter Notes

Russian translation : https://ficbook.net/readfic/12662657 - translation done by Alina

Tomil

Disclaimer about references to other fics: if an intentional reference is made or

inspiration was pulled from another fic, there is a note at the bottom of the chapter. (i.e.
Lance Gainsworth being a nod to Right and Wrong series by lovesbitca8)

If there appears to be parts that sound similar to other fics that I have not added a note
for, know that it was done unintentionally. I’ve personally read a handful of dramione
fics so it seems likely that throughout the process of writing this I may have
unknowingly drawn inspiration. These similarities are in no way me trying to steal any
ideas.

Editing Status: working on it. There is a note at the bottom of each chapter that has been
edited. Once all chapters have been edited, individual chapter notes will be deleted and a
note will be added here.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

October 12 1995
Her hand flies into the air and she instantly begins speaking, not waiting to be called upon as
per usual. "Sir, wouldn't you add the dragon scales next and whisk twelve times clockwise?”

Wrong.

"Must I remind you every day, Miss Granger, that it is inappropriate to speak out of turn?”
Snape drawled. “Twenty points from Gryffindor,” he announces, earning annoyed groans
from her fellow housemates.

"Now, who can tell me the proper next step for Aggrotenia?" Snape asks as he slowly makes
his way around the room.

“Mr Malfoy,” he says as he stops in front of my desk, my eyes traveling up to meet his.
“What follows after adding the knotgrass?”

I can feel the eyes of everyone in the room burning through me, especially Potter, whose
thoughts are so loud it’s giving me a migraine.

“There’s no way Malfoy knows the answer, he doesn’t even pay attention.”

Brave of Potter to insult my intelligence when the twat wouldn’t be able to tell his arse from
his elbow.

“Dragon scales and don’t stir,” I answer confidently.

"And why do we not stir?"

"It breaks apart the scales and doesn't allow them time to fuse with the fluxweed sap
properly."

"Excellent, Mr. Malfoy,” Snape commends, his lips still remaining in a straight line. “Fifty
points for Slytherin."

Leaning back into my chair, I flash a smirk over at Potter, who is already glaring me down.
Just over his shoulder I can see Granger, who looks like she’s ready to hex me into oblivion.
Her grip on her quill is so tight the bloody thing is sure to snap in two at any moment.

If there’s one thing the swotty witch hates it’s being wrong, and the fact that I was the one to
correct her mistake was just the cherry on top – at least for me it was.

I flash her a quick wink, causing her cheeks to flush which is then followed by an irritated
huff as she crosses her arms and pouts in her seat.

Too easy.

I watch as she swings her left leg over the other, her skirt lifting ever so slightly, exposing her
mid-thigh for just a moment before she quickly pulls it back down and smooths out the
fabric.

Tease.
Throughout the remainder of class, I can feel Granger’s eyes fixed on me but every time I
turn to look, she whips her head around. She may be “brilliant” book wise, but she sure is
daft in every other department.

Once class is dismissed, Granger gathers all of her belongings as Quincey as possible and
flees the room but before she can make a getaway, I corner her outside.

With her back against the wall, I block her from escaping with my own body. Her eyes scan
the crowd of students that are rushing by us, as if she was in some sort of imminent danger
and someone would undoubtedly come to her rescue at any moment.

Again I say, daft.

"Something wrong with my hair Granger?"

"What? No?" she replies, the odd question catching her off guard.

"Are my robes on backwards?"

"N-no?"

"Must be something stuck in my teeth then.”

"What are you on about, Malfoy?"

“Those are the only reasonable explanations as to why I fell victim to your less than desirable
glare during class. Unless, of course, you just merely felt like admiring how good I look,” I
taunt.

Her spine straightens and her shoulders roll back at the accusation. “I would like it to be
known that I was not, nor have I ever, admired your good looks,” she argues as she stomps
her foot on the ground.

"Ah, so you do think I'm good looking," I smirk, earning an irritated huff from her for the
second time today. “Maybe if you paid more attention to the lesson, you wouldn't embarrass
yourself so brilliantly in front of the class.”

"I did not embarrass myself! The book specifically states to whisk clockwise twelve times.”

“Do you believe Professor Snape to be a fool? Uneducated? One to make mistakes?” I ask as
I take a step toward her.

Granger tries to take a step back to return the distance between us but all she’s met by is the
brick wall, which offers her no room to move.

"No-that's not what I meant-I was just-" she stammers.

Our bodies are so close to one another that when a student walks by, a gush of wind blows
through her hair causing the scent of her shampoo to practically slap me across the face.
 Vanilla and coconut.

For a moment, I picture her standing bare in the shower as her fingers evenly distribute the
shampoo through her wild curls. Her hands running along every inch of her bare body as she
lathers herself and the water dripping down between her brea-

The sharp pain of my nails digging in my palms from my hand clenching snaps me from the
fantasy. My attention returns to the pair of big brown, almost golden like, eyes that are staring
directly at me.

“Not every answer can be found inside of a book, Granger. If you wish to remain at the top of
the class, I highly suggest taking that into consideration.

Her lips begin to part as she prepares some snarky response but before she’s given the chance
to do so, I turn on my heels and disappear into the sea of students.

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 2
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

October 31 1995

The dungeons echo with music and chatter as students begin to fill in for our annual Slytherin
halloween party. It’s the one time of the year that we generously open the doors to our
common room to all houses. Call us saints. Halloween is about being whoever and whatever
you want, correct? Why not let the less fortunate pretend that they’re worthy of Slytherin for
one night?

Surprisingly, the Hufflepuffs are the ones you can always count on to bring some pretty
decent party favors.

"Jansen, I assume this is that Muggle herb?" I ask as I hold up the vial and examine the green
contents within.

He nods his head "Even better batch than last year.”

"Excellent. You can hand this off to Zabini."

A few Ravenclaw girls bat their eyes at me as they pass by. I give them a curt nod but decide
against engaging any further with them. Instead, I make my way over to where Theo is, who
is currently busy eyeing up every girl who enters and stamping a rating on each as if it was
some sort of contest.

“Seven. Heard she blew some fourth year Hufflepuff in the prefects bathroom last term,”
Theo tells Blaise and I as his eyes track the blonde Gryffindor.

“How the hell did they even get in?” Blaise asks as he passes me the Muggle herb.

“Probably blew a prefect too,” Theo shrugs. “Now that right there is a nine.”

I follow his line of sight over to the front door while I slowly inhale the smoke. Instead of
locating whatever witch Theo was referring to this time, I end up spotting Potter and
Weasley. Handing the herb off to Theo, I cross the room to where the two idiots are.

"Well well," I chime, earning their attention. "The two lovers decided to come party together
huh?"

"Piss off Malfoy," Weasley sneers.

“That’s no way to speak to the host,” I reply. “Where’s your babysitter at? I have to say, I’m
surprised the two of you managed to navigate your way through the school without her
assistance.”
"Why do you care where Hermione is?" Potter asks, his tone insinuating.

“Just curious as to who will be taking care of both of your arses after you make proper fools
of yourself tonight,” I state as I snatch two cups from a fourth year. Turning back to face the
two numpties, I shove the drinks into their hands and say, “Enjoy.”

-*-

Leaning against the back wall, I look over at Blaise, who has a Ravenclaw in his lap, and
Theo, who has two Hufflepuffs in his.

“Disgusting,” Pansy scoffs as she approaches.

"Don't be jealous, Pans," I tease.

Removing the cigarette from my mouth, she places it between her lips and takes a drag before
saying, “I know it’s tradition to allow all houses in for the night but couldn’t we have made
an exception in banning those two?”

I follow the direction in which her finger is pointing. My eyes land on Potter and Weasley
once again, who are sloppily bumping into everyone and spilling the contents of their drinks
on the floor.

Gods, those are the two that everyone deems capable of taking down the Dark Lord?

Pathetic.

I only last another hour before I grow irritated of rubbing shoulders with everyone in the
common room and having wasted girls trail their slimy hands along my arm. Don’t get me
wrong, I’m a teenage boy, obviously I want girls to be all over me, but I’d prefer it if they
weren’t mere seconds away from hurling everywhere.

Slipping out without any of my friends noticing, I begin heading for the astronomy tower but
then I spot her.

Granger is propped on a window sill in an empty corridor, using the moon as a source of light
to read her book. Her hair is gathered into a messy ball on top of her head and her wand is
poking through to hold its place. Her eyebrows are furrowed together as she tugs at her
bottom lip with her teeth while she consumes the text.

"You know it's past curfew, right?" I question, my sudden presence startling her.

She quickly regains her composure and a sneer instantly appears on her face as soon as her
eyes meet mine.

"I could say the same to you,” she argues.

"Yes, well, I've never been one to care for rules."

"More like you believe you're above them."

"What are you reading?" I ask, ignoring the snide remark as I snatch the book from her.

“Give that back!” she demands as she shoots up to her feet.

Holding it up high enough to where it’s out of her reach, I read off the title.

“Hogwarts A History. Honestly, Granger, is this the only bloody book you read?” I scoff.

Once I lower my arm, she jumps up and manages to rip it from my grasp.

“I’m surprised you even know what a book is, Malfoy.”

"Ouch,” I say as I place my hand on my chest. "How will I ever recover from that one?"

"Don't you have a party to be at?" she questions as she rolls her eyes and returns to her seat
on the ledge.

I always thought the sun had a magical effect on her but now, standing here, the light from
the moon reflecting off of her, I discover my new favorite time of day to look at her.

"Your children are making a mess of my common room. The first years will be scrubbing the
floors for days," I tell her as I remove a cigarette from my coat pocket and place it between
my lips.

"Those things will kill you,” she states.

"Betting on it, Granger,” I reply before lighting it with the tip of my wand.

The air falls silent between us as she continues with her reading and I finish my cigarette.
There’s distance between us but apparently not enough for her liking.

“Do you plan on lurking around all night?” she questions, annoyance lacing her tone.

“Depends,” I shrug.

“On?”

“If it would piss you off,” I say with a smug look.

Snapping her book shut, Granger stands, pats the dirt from her pants and begins walking off.

“Gainsworth,” I call out.

Stopping in her tracks, she turns around and shoots me a confused look.

“Lance Gainsworth. He’s an author. That means he writes books,” I explain in a taunting
tone.
“I know who Gainsworth is,” she replies, her words full of attitude. “But why are you saying
his name to me?”

"Just figured you needed a recommendation. Unless you plan on being loyal to one book your
entire life."

Her fingers grip tightly onto her book as she pulls it into her chest defensively.

“I’ve already read the first Undesirables,” she states.

“And what did you think of it?” I ask as I take a step toward her.

“It was magnificent.”

“What did you like about it?”

As she gushes on about how his style is unparalleled and how it reignited her love for
reading, I continue to slowly clear the distance between us.

“He manages to fully submerge you into the story. It feels like you’re on the journey with the
characters and the complexity of each of them is just-”

“Raw?” I interject.

Granger nods her head in agreement. “The way he explores the flaws of each of them is so
unique and real. He doesn’t make excuses for any of their behaviors or actions but he
provides you with enough insight that you can’t help but sympathize.”

"Wait until you read his second one."

This time she’s the one who takes a step forward, removing any remaining distance that had
separated us.

“You’ve read it?!” she asks, to which I nod. “But, how? It’s not set to release for another two
months?”

“My mother has her ways,” I say casually. “I have a copy in my dorm if you’d like to borrow
it?”

Her eyes light up as she jumps up and down, unable to contain her excitement.

“That would be-wait.” her demeanor quickly shifts and she takes a step backwards. “What’s
the catch, Malfoy?”

"Catch?"

"I'm not dumb. I know you, there's always a catch."

That's right. How could I forget? I'm Draco fucking Malfoy, the cruel son of a vile Death
Eater, the person who is incapable of doing anything with pure intentions. Wanting to loan a
 book to a fellow lover of the author? The fucking horror.

However, her accusation did bring me back to reality and remind me of who I’m talking to.
Hermione Granger, the brave and brilliant Gryffindor who is loved by all. It’s practically
written in the stars for us to be enemies. She, the best friend of the chosen one, and I, the one
chosen to be the villain in their story.

If this school has taught me anything, it’s that it’s far easier to lean into the role that you’ve
been assigned than to ever try and prove otherwise. So, that’s precisely what I do.

Narrowing my eyes, I say, “The catch is that you’re an even bigger fool than Potter and
Weasley combined if you believed for even a second that I’d let your filthy mudblood hands
anywhere near one of my belongings. Perhaps you could seduce Potter into using some of his
societal power to snag you your own copy.”

"You're unbearable Malfoy," she hisses.

"Then why are you still standing here talking to me?"

In one swift movement she turns, her hair whipping by my face and flooding my senses with
the intoxicating aroma of her shampoo, and storms off.

Come play again, Granger.

Chapter End Notes

edited
Lance Gainsworth reference is a nod to Right and Wrong series by lovesbitca8
 Chapter 3
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

November 7 1995

Snape floats around the room as he inspects everyone's cauldrons, disappointed remarks
handed out here and there. When he reaches my table, he eyes the book in my hand and say,
“I assume there’s a good reason as to why you’re reading instead of working on your potion,
Mr Malfoy?”

"I finished twenty minutes ago," I reply, not bothering to look up from my book

"Is that so?"

Letting out an irritated groan, I snap my book shut, step aside and motion for him to take a
look.

He snatches a piece of parchment from under Longbottom’s elbow and tears off a corner. The
other students at my table lean in and intently watch as Snape drops the ripped piece of
parchment into the cauldron. As soon as it touches the purple liquid, it disintegrates.

“Perhaps you should all start taking notes from Mr Malfoy,” Snape announces, earning
everyone’s attention. “He appears to be the only competent amongst you all.”

Finnigan glances over at me but as soon as his mouth opens I shoot him a glare.

“Fuck off, Finnigan.”

He quickly averts his eyes and stares down at his cauldron, which is boiling over.

After potions class, I’m waved down by McGonagall who, once again, reminds me of the
dinner taking place this Friday.

"Seven pm. Got it." I nod as I rush off, not wanting to stick around to hear another speech on
why it's such an ‘honor’ to be invited. There were far more important things for me to focus
on than some trivial dinner. One of which being quidditch.

-*-

“Tonight we have Slytherin versus Gryffindor!” Lee announces as we make our way out onto
the field. “Last time these two went head to head, Slytherin won when their seeker, Draco
Malfoy, caught the golden snitch, nearly breaking the school record for time.”
While Lee continues to speak, both teams meet in the center. Potter is glaring me down as he
death grips his broom. The twat has been talking a lot of shit the last few days, saying the last
game was a fluke and that I should “watch out” this time. In my humble opinion, this twat is
due for some humbling… or a trip to the infirmary.

“Try not to fall off of your broom this time, Potter,” I mock.

“I didn’t fall. You ran me into a post,” he retaliates.

“Maybe if you spent less time admiring me and focused on the game, you would’ve seen the
giant wooden post that was right in front of your face.”

“Fuck you, Malfoy,” he spits.

“Sorry, you’re not my type,” I quip.

Potter’s eyes narrow and his jaw clenches. Gods this guy needs to learn to take a fucking
joke.

“Let the game begin!”

And just like that, my eyes immediately lock onto the snitch. Flashing one last smirk at
Potter, I lean forward on my broom and dart off. Potter is, of course, trailing right behind me.
I’m surprised he can even see the damn thing with how shit his eyesight is.

After a few minutes of Potter riding my tail as I weave in and out of the stands, I decide that
I’m deserving of a little fun before ending the game and putting the pathetic Gryffindors out
of their misery.

Coming to an abrupt halt in front of the Gryffindor student section, I squint my eyes and say,
“Is that Cho, making out with Finnigan?”

Potter’s face instantly drops as he whips his head, his eyes frantically scanning the stands for
his little Ravenclaw, but all he’s met by is a confused look from Weasley and Granger.

“For the being the so called chosen one, you sure are fucking gullible,” I chuckle before
speeding off.

Eventually Potter manages to catch up with me but by the time that he does he’s too late.

“Draco Malfoy has caught the golden snitch! Winning the game for Slytherin and also setting
a new school record with a time of eight minutes and twenty-three seconds!”

-*-
As we're walking off of the pitch I spot the infamous golden trio just ahead. It looks like
Granger and Weasley are doing what they can to try and console a sulking Potter.

“Better luck next time, Potter!” I shout.

"Shove off, Malfoy!" Weasley replies, grabbing Potter by his jersey to keep him moving
forward.

"Someone seems upset. I'll tell you what Potter, I'll put in a good word for you with Cho after
she's done sucking me off."

Ripping away from Weasley’s hold, Potter shoves past Granger and lunges for me. Pushing
my hand against his chest, he stumbles backwards but quickly finds his footing and
idiotically lunges for me again. This time I’m less kind and swing my fist around, a small
cracking noise informing me that I’ve successfully broken his nose. In my opinion, I think I
did him a favor. His now crooked nose helps draw attention away from the rest of his
unfortunate face.

“Harry!” Granger gasps as she runs to his side. She attempts to examine his face but Potter
waves her off, telling her that he’s fine as he gets back up to his feet.

With each step he takes closer to me, I have to continuously tilt my head further down.
Weasley is following close behind him and while he is closer to my height, he’s still entirely
incapable of throwing a decent punch and his dueling skills are equivalent to that of a first
year.

“You’re a right foul git, Malfoy!” Potter hisses.

“Is that so?”

“Yes!”

“Oh no,” I gasp. “How will I ever live with myself?” each word laced with sarcasm.

“You’re going to end up just like your father,” he scowls. “A cowardly Death Eater.”

Everyone around us falls silent, the only sound being the faint crunching of the leaves
beneath my feet as I approach Potter, my eyes darkening with each step.

"You better watch your fucking mouth, Potter.”

"Or what?" he challenges.

“Like you said, I’m going to end up just like my father. Only difference is, I’m not weak like
him. Which means,” my voice just above a whisper. “I wouldn’t hesitate to torture each and
every last person that you care about, forcing you to watch before killing you myself.”

I can see the little wheels in his brain working overtime as he begins planning several
different ways to kill me. Pleased with myself for once again getting under his skin, which is
far too easy, I turn around to face my team.
As I’m walking away, I mentally start counting down from three.

Three…

Two…

One.

And just like clockwork, I can hear Potter rustling around behind me. With one swift motion,
I remove my wand and block whatever hex he had just sent my way. A collection of gasps fill
the air.

“Trying to hex someone while their back is turned to you?” I say as I glance over my
shoulder at him. “And they say Slytherins are the evil ones.”

Potter just stands there, his wand shaking slightly as hatred consumes his eyes.

“Harry stop,” Granger begs as she attempts to lower his wand. “You’re going to get yourself
expelled!”

She continues to try and reason with him but he’s too blinded by rage to listen. Eventually,
Potter pushes her aside, Weasley manages to catch her just before she hits the ground.

I swear to Merlin, if Potter touches her one more time.

"For fucks sake Harry, what's the matter with you?" Weasley questions.

"Me?!" he snaps over at him. "What about him?”

"He's just trying to get under your skin like usual, it's what he's always done."

Stowing my wand in my pocket, I raise my hands in the air. “Go on then,” I nod. “Show
everyone the real you, Potter.”

There’s a thirst for blood etched into his face. For once, it appears that Potter is allowing the
darkness to take over. He wants to hurt me, possibly even kill me, and in an odd way, I’m
almost proud of him. Seems like Potter has been working on backing his words with actions.
If I had the authority to hand out house points, Gryffindor would be receiving at least ten
from me right now.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t granted the honor of being hexed by the almighty chosen one because
Professor McGonagall caught wind of what was taking place and immediately rushed over to
ruin the fun. As she stands in the middle of us, her head snaps back and forth between myself
and Potter.

"Mr. Potter, what in the heavens are you doing?" she asks.

Potter’s face instantly relaxes as he snaps out of his anger induced trance and his eyes begin
scanning the students surrounding us. He quickly lowers his wand and attempts to hide it
behind his back as he stutters his way through his reasoning for what was taking place.
 “Malfoy-he-”

“Is unarmed,” McGongall states, cutting him off.

“He had his wand out earlier, Professor McGonagall.”

“That may be so but from what I heard, it was to block a hex from you. One that you cast
while his back was turned might I add.”

Potter squirms as he attempts to spin the story to try and make himself sound like the good
guy while I stand behind McGonagall, a smug look stained on my face.

"Enough with the babbling, Mr Potter,” McGongall interrupts. "This isn't like you, I'm very
disappointed. Fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor. Now, everyone, off you go. Except
you Potter, you'll be accompanying me to Dumbledore's office."

McGonagall escorts him off of the pitch and all of the students begin to disperse. Weasley
and Granger give me a displeased look before following behind and I can't help but laugh at
the irony of the entire situation.

Harry Potter, the bad guy, and Draco Malfoy, the good guy.

What a historic day.

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 4
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

November 10 1995

There's a loud commotion coming from the courtyard, several students from all houses
gathered around. I nearly continue on, not caring for the petty school drama, when all of a
sudden I hear Theo's laugh.

"What is it this time?" I groan as I head towards the crowd and begin pushing my way
through. Once I reach the center, I see Theo backed up against the tree and Victor Daniels, a
Hufflepuff, who is shoving his wand into Theo’s throat.

"Bit early for a beheading, isn't it?" I ask.

The sound of my voice catches both of their attention.

“Draco!” Theo says cheerfully.

“Theo,” I nod. “Should we wrap this up or are you not done playing around?”

“I am a bit peckish.”

"Very well."

While I kick in the back of Daniels’ knee, Theo swings his arm around, knocking the wand
from his wand.

“What seems to be the issue here, Daniels?” I question as join Theo at his side.

Now on the ground, Daniels clutches his leg as he angrily stares at us. “He slept with my
girlfriend.”

My nose scrunches in disgust as I look over at Theo. “Melinda? Really mate?”

“It was just a blow job,” he says innocently.

"Ah, see!" I exclaim. "Problem solved. He didn't sleep with her. It was just a blow job,” I
reiterate to Daniels.

"Yeah, I fucking heard,” he snipes.

"Wonderful. Since we're done here." Theo and I both turn to one another and nod before
walking off.
"Pretty pathetic that you needed your little bodyguard to save you Nott!" Daniels shouts from
behind.

Both of us come to a halt and glance over at one another, both of us silently agreeing on how
to proceed. Turning around, we head back over to Daniels, who is still sitting on the ground.

“You should be thanking me for stepping when I did,” I tell him. “Or else you’d be finding
yourself with more than just a broken knee.”

He scoffs at my statement. "Theo would be the one in the infirmary,” he says far too
confidently, which causes Theo and I to burst into laughter.

"Fuck Victor, I almost forgot how funny you are,” Theo chuckles. "Do you actually believe a
word of that?"

Daniels looks between the two of us, confused as to why we’re laughing at him. "I-I had you!
You were defenseless."

Theo kneels down so that they're eye level with one another. And says, "See, unlike you, I
don't need to rely on a wand to fight my battles. Not sure if you noticed, but I disarmed you
in just a few seconds."

"Only because Malfoy kicked my bloody knee in!"

“I did that purely for my own enjoyment. It wasn’t necessary by any means,” I shrug
nonchalantly.

“Maybe next time I’ll let you get a punch in.” Theo harshly pats Daniels’ cheek before
standing up. “See ya around, mate. Oh, and let Melinda know that I’m free tonight,” he
smirks.

-*-

As we’re sitting in the library, I can’t help but let out a soft chuckle as I think back on today’s
earlier events.

“Oh piss off, I don’t want to hear it mate,” Theo groans.

“It’s just.. Melinda.. really? Out of all the girls?”

“She’s not that bad,” he says defensively.

“Look Theo, I know you’re desperate to wet your whistle, but at least try to have some
dignity.”

“A mouth is a mouth at the end of the day,” he replies. “It got the job done.”

“You’re a fucking idiot,” I say as I roll my eyes.

Suddenly, a giant stack of books are slammed down on the edge of our table. Looking up, I
see Granger who is wearing her usual “I’m disappointed in you and I’m about to give you an
entire speech as to why” look on her face. A look that is eerily similar to the one my mother
often gives me.

“Is it both of your life missions to be utter arse holes or does it just come naturally?” she
questions.

“Careful Granger,” I warn. “You might hurt my feelings.”

“We’re only three months in and the two of you have collectively managed to send four
students to the infirmary.”

My head cocks. “Four? I can only account for three?”

“Remember that sixth year Gryffindor?” Theo asks. “We were headed to divination and you
overheard him say something about Blaise?”

“Ah, yes, my apologies.” Returning my gaze to Granger, I say, “You were correct. Four.”

Unamused and disgusted by Theo and I’s lack of empathy when it comes to the topic,
Granger lets out an aggravated huff.

“Don’t you have anything better to do than torment everyone?”

Theo and I shake our heads.

“Already tried knitting. It wasn’t really my thing.”

“I gave pottery a go,” Theo adds. “Only lasted about a week.”

“I think that bowl you made was pretty good,” I tell him.

“You really think so?” he asks surprised.

“Definitely. It didn’t have any cracks and held up when I ate some soup out of it.”

“You kept it?!” tears forming in Theo’s eyes.

“Of course I did.”

“Ahem,” Granger interjects.

Theo and I return our attention back to Granger, whose hand is now on her hip and is tapping
her foot impatiently.

“Why do you even bother coming back to school if you hate it here so much?” she directs at
me.

“I don’t hate it here,” I correct. “Though, if the professors took the time to teach something of
use for once, perhaps I’d show more interest in class.”
“Everything they teach us is useful!” she argues.

“Not when it’s things you already know.”

A mocking chuckle escapes the back of Granger’s throat. “You’re telling me that you already
know everything within our curriculum? Gods Malfoy, I knew you were arrogant but I didn’t
realize just how bad it truly was.”

Leaning forward, I rest my arms on the table and clasp my hands together.

“Tell me, Granger, has that brilliant mind of yours been able to figure out how to turn metal
until silver yet? What about gold?”

Her silence is all I need to know the answer.

“Thought not,” I smirk. “I have.”

Her eyebrows furrow. “When?” she asks.

“Beginning of last term,” I say casually as I lean back into my chair.

“Alchemy isn’t offered until sixth year,” Granger shakes her head. “That’s not–”

“Not what, Granger? Not possible that someone may know more than you? Or is it the fact
that the someone is me, the arrogant bully?”

Regaining her composure and crossing her arms, she says, “You’re lying.”

“Entirely possible,” I shrug before picking up my book and flipping it open. “You could
always ask McGonagall tonight at the dinner. If I’m remembering correctly, it starts at seven,
right?”

"How did you know about that? It's only for-"

"The brightest?" I interject. "Hand picked by her and Dumbledore personally?”

Peeking up from my book, I can see the rage building within her. Her face is an aggressive
shade of red and her neck is strained as she struggles to hold herself back from screaming and
cursing me out.

Angrily swiping her books from the table, Granger spins on her heels and stomps off.

“I bet she’s crazy in bed,” Theo states as he watches her walk off. “The type a, nerdy, know-
it-alls always are.”

The thought of him laying a single finger on her is enough to make my blood boil. I have to
restrain myself from ripping his arms from his body as I peek inside his mind and see all of
the things that he’s fantasizing about doing to her.

“Stick to your half-grade already spoken for lot,” I threaten.

 Theo has lost his mind if he thinks Granger would ever get with someone like him. She may
be a mud blood but she’s still well out of his league. He wouldn’t even know how to handle a
woman like her. His usual rotation includes half-witted girls with raging daddy issues. None
of which Granger is.

If you told that witch to kneel she’d stand even taller. Tell her to run, she’d more than likely
walk at an excruciatingly slow pace. Granger is a stubborn and swotty witch who will argue
until she takes her final breath.

She’s also filled out spectacularly over the summer.

Of course the only one who isn’t aware of such a fact is Granger herself. Or perhaps she is
and is choosing to not flaunt her newfound curves. Which, if that were the case, then Madam
Pomfrey should be thanking her for staying modest because if she had chosen otherwise, then
the infirmary would be flooded with every guy who dared to steal a glance in her direction.
All sent there by yours truly.

“So what’s this dinner you two were going on about?” Theo questions, interrupting my
fantasy of following behind Granger and hexing every guy that looks at her.

“What?”

“The dinner,” he repeats. “The one that seemed to enrage Granger?”

“Right, that. Don’t worry about it.”

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 5
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

The Dinner

There's a total of six of us in attendance for tonight's dinner. Granger was the first to arrive
but are we really surprised? She was already deep in conversation with Frances Knox by the
time I decided to grace everyone with my presence. Rather irritating that I wasn't offered so
much as a quick side eye from her when I arrived. I spent extra time making sure that I
looked as cocksure as possible.

Full suit, tie pin and I even threw in a pocket square just to top it off for fucks sake. People
really don't appreciate effort these days.

Discussions regarding everyone's families and their well-beings takes place during the
appetizer.

"How is your father getting on these days, Frances?" Professor Mcgonagall asks.

"Well, thank you. He's set for a promotion at the Ministry before summer," Knox replies.

What an exasperating braggart.

Bored with the conversation, I turn my attention to Granger who is staring down at the three
spoons laid out before her.

Hopeless witch.

Granger's eyes scan around the table as she attempts to identify the correct spoon to use for
her pumpkin soup. By the time her gaze lands on me, I have my spoon held in front of my
mouth and my pinky is lifted obnoxiously high.

And right on cue, she rolls her eyes at me.

Her internal fight over which utensil to use is interrupted when McGonagall turns to her and
asks what her parents do for work.

"My parents are dentists," she answers.

"And what does that entail?" McGonagall questions.

"They work on people's teeth."

Granger continues to babble on about some story of a child biting her father and how he
ended up needing twelve stitches afterwards while the main entree is served. Once
her fascinating story is over, the other students waste no time in blowing smoke up their own
arses.

And I'm the pompous one? I haven't even said shit, and I could easily be sharing far more
fascinating and impressive stories than these twats.

I zone out for the remainder of dinner in an attempt to maintain some sort of sanity. Desert
felt like it went on forever but once everyone managed to scarf back the last bit of their food,
the real reason as to why we were invited here this evening is finally brought up.

"As many of you know," McGonagall begins. "Each year we select the two students with the
highest marks from fifth, sixth and seventh year. You will work collaboratively with the
student in your year to compose a research paper. The pair who presents the highest quality
paper will be given the opportunity to work alongside Dumbledore to further research their
topic and will, eventually, be published."

While the others gasp and clap their hands excitedly, I let out a groan and lean back into my
chair.

Great. More homework.

A bowl floats down the length of the table and stops right in front of McGonagall. She goes
on to inform us that the topics will be chosen at random for each pair - as if that wasn't
already made clear by the fucking bowl levitating in the air.

McGonagall reaches into the bowl and removes the first piece of parchment. "Knox and
Henders, you will be researching ancient runes." The two dimwits high-five one another like
the prats they are. "Alys and Crowley, you have arthimany. Lastly, Granger and Malfoy."

Granger is on the edge of her seat as she leans towards McGonagall, impatiently waiting for
the topic to be called out.

"Occlumency," McGonagall states.

For the first time this evening, my attention is piqued, causing my eyes to dart up from my
lap. Professor Snape's head is cocked slightly as he studies my reaction but I keep my
expression neutral.

As soon as dinner is dismissed, I get up from the table and rush out the door. If I spent even a
minute longer in a room with those people I'd avada myself. Of course, my escape is quickly
interrupted by Granger who rushed after me. In true Hermione Granger fashion, she's already
took it upon herself to curate a tedious studying schedule for us.

"We'll meet tomorrow at seven pm," she states.

"No," I reply.

"No?"

"Correct."
"I should've known," she scoffs. "You don't care about this assignment at all. Why did you
even bother coming tonight? I mean honestly Malfoy, do you know how many students
would kill to be in your position? You are such a..a.." she hesitates.

"I'm such a what, Granger?" I question as I step toward her. "Go on, use your words."

"A dick," she whispers.

"Sorry, what was that?" I ask as I hold my hand behind my ear, gesturing for her to speak
louder.

"A dick!" she shouts.

"Easy there Granger. If you keep saying such sweet things to me, I might think you're flirting
with me," I smirk.

"You're exasperating, Malfoy," she snarls.

"Thank you," I smile. "Also, the reason I can't meet at seven tomorrow is not due to the fact
that I don't care about this assignment, I have quidditch practice."

Granger narrows her eyes at me before releasing an irritated groan and saying, "Fine. Nine
pm then, we'll meet in the library. Do you know where that is?" her words dripping in
sarcasm.

"Yes Granger, I'm not a daft git. Would you like for me to show you that I'm capable of tying
my own shoes as well?" I mock.

She lets out an aggravated huff before turning on her heels and walking away. "Nine pm
Malfoy and not a minute late!"

The Next Evening

"You know you're allowed to change out of your uniform when classes are over, right?" I ask
as I slump down in the seat across from her.

"You're late," she scolds.

"By five minutes."

"Still late."

"You need to learn to chill the fuck out Granger. Don't your muggles have some sort of drug
for that?"

"And you need to learn to be respectful of other's time," she counters. "From now on be here
right at nine."
"I'll consider it," I shrug before kicking my feet up onto the table.

"I've already pulled all of the books that mention occlumency."

"I'm sure you have," I mumble which earns me a death glare.

Granger continues to list off all of her findings as she readjusts the mess that she calls hair.
It's almost painful to listen to her speak right now. Nearly every "fact" that she's listed has
been incorrect due to her shit interpretation but correcting her every five seconds seems like
an exhausting task.

At some point while she was giving me a history lesson on the first known wizard to perform
occlumency, I fully checked out and checked in on the blonde Slytherin who is sitting at the
table to our right. This witch hasn't stopped eyeing me since I've arrived and it's driving me
insane, and not in the good way.

"Are you even paying attention?" Granger asks.

"No."

Her eyes follow mine over to the other table. "You would be attracted to her, seems to be
your type," she scoffs.

I'm almost positive there was an underlying tone of jealousy in her words which is the most
fascinating thing I've heard all night. Intrigued, I turn my attention to her. "And what is my
type Granger?"

"Slutty," she casually states.

"That's not very feminist of you." Picking a book from the stack on our table, I lazily flip
through the pages and say "Despite your confidence in knowing what gets my dick hard,
she's not my type at all."

"What is then?" she asks, though it's clear she doesn't actually care to know.

You are.

"Ones with an IQ greater than that of an ogre. A nice arse wouldn't hurt either," I reply.

Granger lets out a mocking chuckle. "And what makes you think any girl with a half a brain
would show an interest in you?"

Snapping the book shut, I lean forward and say, "No one is immune to being seduced
Granger. No matter how much intellect they may possess."

Looking down at the non-existent watch on my wrist, I set the book down and get up from
chair.

"As riveting as this all was, some of us actually have a life."

 "You can't leave yet, we barely made a dent in our assignment," she argues.

"I'm sure you'll muster something up," I shrug. "I'll provide some revision tomorrow. nine
thirty, right?"

"Nine," she corrects, her tone harsh and commanding.

"Maybe," I smirk before leaving.

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 6
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

November 11 1995

I'm one more smack of the lips away from taking this fork and burying it in this sod's neck.
For some reason unbeknownst to me, Pansy has decided to expand her horizons, and legs, by
adopting a Hufflepuff.

Jason Inglebee to be exact.

Pans can do as she pleases but I would highly prefer if she didn't please herself right beside
me while I'm trying to eat my pudding. Maybe she's getting back at me for something that I
did but regardless, it's annoying and rude. She knows how much I've been looking forward to
this pudding today and now she's making it nearly impossible for me to keep it down.

Thankfully, I'm able to get the rest down without hurling.

As Blaise, Theo and I are walking out of the Great Hall, Pansy runs up to us and invites us to
hang out with her and Inglebee. "We're meeting some of his friends down by the Black
Lake," she states. Blaise and Theo agree and then she turns to me. "What about you Draco?"

"I'd rather light myself on fire," I drawl.

Inglebee pats my back and says, "Come on mate, it'll be fun."

Grabbing his wrist, I pull him away from Pansy and slam his back against the wall.

"Listen here, Inglebee. You may have managed to weasel your way into Pansy's knickers but
let's get one thing straight." He struggles to pull in a breath as I press my forearm down on
his trachea. "I'm not, nor will I ever be, your mate. Also, the second you fuck up and trust me,
you will, I will find immense pleasure in disfiguring you."

Stepping back and releasing my hold on him, he hunches over and coughs. Pansy doesn't
bother checking on him and instead just gives me a look that say 'Did you really have to do
that?' in which I respond with one that says 'Yes, he's annoying'. I turn to Theo and Blaise and
inform them that I'll meet up with them later before walking off and heading for the library.

-*-

If I keep up my pace I might actually make it on time today, which will not work. So I decide
to slow down and take my time, making sure to throw an insult or two at every portrait that I
pass. Unfortunately, my attempt to be late failed. While being on time for once might earn me
points with Granger, I hugely prefer having her scold me.
Standing outside the library, I stare at the clock and patiently wait for it to read 9:01 before
heading inside and locating Granger.

"You're late, again."

As Granger scolds me for my tardiness, just as I had hoped she would, and educates me on
how to read a clock, I snatch the parchment from the table.

"The small hand is the one that tells you what hour it is..."

Occlumency is the act of closing one's mind in order to protect their thoughts and feelings
from a legilimens.

"...and the bigger hand is for the minutes."

"This is a joke, right?" I question.

Her gaze shifts over to the parchment in my hand. "No and I worked hard on that. Besides,
it's just a first draft."

"Well congratulations Granger, you managed to compose a thesis that resembles the work of
a half-baked inbred."

Snatching the paper from my hand and tucking it safely underneath a book, she turns back to
face me and angrily places her hand on her hip as she prepares to scold me, yet again.

I think this is my favorite version of her. Her hair is a tangled ball and her wand is poked
through to hold its place. And the little vein in her forehead is protruding as she curses me
out for my pretentious ways.

My beautiful Granger.

Gods the things I would like to do to her. Surely her mouth is useful for things other than
yelling at me.

"You're not even listening to me!" she shouts, which earns an angry "Shh" from the students
near us. "You shh!" she shoots back at them. Letting out a deep breath to calm herself, she
looks up at me and says, "As repayment for being late again, maybe you can figure out a way
to get Madam Pince to let us into the restricted section. I'm certain there are books in there
that go more in depth on occlumency."

"That won't be necessary," I state.

"If you want me to write something that meets your oddly high standards for this research
paper, then yes it is," she argues. "You just don't want to ask her because you're afraid that
you'll get denied. I thought you said no one was immune to being seduced Malfoy?" she
smirks, clearly proud of herself for using my own words against me.

Precious.
 "And I stand by that statement, just like I stand by my statement about the restricted section.
You don't need to gain access to another book on occlumency."

"And why not?"

"Because you have me," I grin.

"Right, because you have been so much help so far," she mocks.

"Have you taken the time to ask about my knowledge on the subject?"

"You honestly expect me to believe that you know more about occlumency than any of the
books in this library?"

"You can believe whatever you want Granger but it doesn't change the fact that I do."

Even after all the times that I've gotten higher marks than her in class she still refuses to
acknowledge my intellect. It doesn't make any sense and honestly, it's insulting. People can
be good looking and smart, she of all people should know that.

I guess it's time for me to lecture her.

"Compartmentalization and separation," I say, which earns me a confused look from her. "It's
one of the methods used in occlumency," I continue. "There's also rudimentary methods but
those only get you so far and are more of a suppression that will only hold for so long. The
few facts in those books of yours are correct but they're purposefully vague. Thus leading to
your quite shit interpretation of how it's performed."

"And let me guess, you know the proper way?"

"That I do," I reply with a cheeky grin.

"Go on then, what is it?"

"Now Miss Granger, it wouldn't be very educational if I just handed you the answers now
would it? Besides, I have somewhere I'm meant to be right now. Perhaps I'll consider writing
a few facts down for you, if you ask nicely that is. Oh, and just so you're aware, I'm not
opposed to bribery," I wink. "Tomorrow, nine pm, and not a minute late."

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 7
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

November 15 1995

"Can you go over the separation part again?"

"Granger, I can explain it as many times as you'd like but I can't understand it for you," I
groan.

She pulls at the end of the quill with her lips and furrows her eyebrows as she stares down at
her paper and I, once again, explain the information. I've been providing her with small
pieces of my knowledge on occlumency for the last few days. Yes, I know, how kind of me.

Occasionally she throws an insult or two at me but a majority of the time she asks me follow
up question after follow up question about every single thing I say. It's rather annoying if I'm
being honest, if it were anyone else I would've left ages ago. However, if I were to leave, then
I wouldn't be granted with the gift that is Hermione Granger's mind. Whenever I use
legilimency on her to take a peek at the thoughts she's too afraid to verbalize, I always remain
right at surface level so she isn't aware of my presence.

"He barely pays attention in class. How am I supposed to believe a single thing he's telling
me? Let's be honest, Malfoy probably bullies other students into doing his homework."

Low blow Granger.

"I do my own homework," I state.

Granger's head cocks. "What?"

"Nothing. Shield, not block," I correct as I point down at her paper.

"What's the difference?"

"Everything. If you go about occlumency with a blocking mindset eventually it'll falter. Your
walls will crack after a certain amount of pressure and persistence."

She lets out a frustrated sigh before striking through her work and revising it.

Ever since Granger and I have started working on this paper, Blaise and Theo have been up
my arse about where I've been disappearing to the past few nights. Their current theories are
that I'm shagging some fourth year Ravenclaw and that I'm too ashamed to admit it, an
extremely idiotic theory but at least it keeps them off my back, unlike Pansy. She's been, how
you say, getting on my last fucking nerve as of late. You'd think she'd be too preoccupied
with her little Hufflepuff to be worrying about my whereabouts but of course, in true Pansy
fashion, she's managed to find the time to take note of my every move.
Make eye contact with some busty blonde in the corridor? Noted. How many times I've
sneezed in the last twenty-four hours? Pansy knows the exact number.

Usually I wouldn't find her overbearing nature that annoying but it's the reason as to why
she's doing it that's aggravating me. Pans wants to make sure that I'm okay, that I'm not
spiraling due to the events that are to come. I really wish she'd just leave me alone and focus
on herself.

I'll be fine. I'm always fine.

Having her constantly track what I'm doing has also made my trip to the library rather
grueling. I have to walk to the complete opposite end of the castle just so I can then lose her
in the greenhouse. It's not that I'm ashamed of what I'm working on or who I'm working with,
I'd just rather not be berated by questions from my friends regarding the matter.

As Granger and I are wrapping up for the night, I inform her that I won't be able to meet in
the library tomorrow. As predicted, she readies herself to lecture me on how I need to care
more about our paper, how it's a once in a lifetime opportunity and so on and so forth. I don't
know why she wastes her breath giving me that speech, I already have it memorized word for
word. This time, however, I raise my hand to stop her from speaking.

"I'm not saying that we can't work on it tomorrow Granger. I'm just letting you know that
we'll have to work at a different location."

"I guess I can allow that," she replies. "Where are we meeting?"

"The quidditch pitch."

Her eyes widen. "The quidditch pitch?! What if your teammates see that I'm waiting there for
you?"

"Afraid to be spotted with me Granger?" I smirk.

"No-that's not what I-all I'm saying is-"

"Calm down, I'm only joking," I reassure her. "You also have nothing to worry about, they
won't even notice that you're there."

But if they do... if they so much as look in her direction for one second, it'll be the last thing
they ever see.

"Fine but I still think it's a bad idea," she states.

"Of course you do," I reply as I roll my eyes. "Meet me down there at eight-thirty."

"Okay," she nods. "Eight-thirty."

-*-
The second I step foot into the common room I'm ambushed by Daphne and Millicent.

"Where have you been?" Daphne scolds. "We've been looking for you everywhere!"

"Apologies, let me just install a tracking device in my neck for you real quick," I deadpan.

Daphne rolls her eyes before saying, "It's Pansy." The distraught tone of her voice makes it
obvious that it's something serious.

"What happened?" I ask, my eyes narrowing.

"It was Jason, he-" Millicent shakes her head.

"Where is she?"

"Your room," Daphne answers.

Pushing past them, I rush up the stairs and head straight for my dorm. As soon as I open the
door, my eyes land on a small figure curled up in the sheets of my bed.

"Pans," I say quietly.

Her head lifts at the sound of my voice, revealing a mixture of blue and purple coloring
wrapping around her neck.

"I'm going to kill him," I seethe before turning on my heels and storming out. I can hear the
faint sound of Pansy calling out for me but I don't look back. She has Astoria, Daphne and
Millicent with her, she'll be fine. I, however, won't be. Not until after I pay Inglebee a visit.

Reaching Theo and Blaise's dorm, I bang on the door until one of them finally answers. Theo
gives me a confused look as does Blaise, who is laying on his bed.

"Either of you fancy a round of beat the badger?" My question paired with the look in my
eyes is enough to tell them all that they need to know. They both nod their heads and follow
me out.

On our way over to the Hufflepuff common room, I spot a third year dressed in yellow and
black. Grabbing him by the back of his shirt, I drag him the rest of the way and push him
forward once we reach the entrance.

"Open it," I command.

His hands shake as he taps the barrels. Once he's completed the sequence, one of the lids
swings open, granting us access. Storming in, my eyes scan the room until I find who I'm
looking for.

"Inglebee!" I call out.

His head whips around and as soon as he spots me, his eyes widen and he scrambles up to his
feet. Before he has the opportunity to run off, I close in on him and grab him by the collar of
his shirt with my left hand. Balling my right hand into a fist, I make direct contact with the
side of his jaw.

"Surprised to see me?" I ask. "Well, you shouldn't be." Placing my hands on his shoulders to
steady him, I thrust my knee into the center of his abdomen. Releasing my hold on him,
Inglebee drops to the ground and clutches onto his stomach as he pulls in short ragged gasps.

"I told you what would happen when you fucked up. Though, I have to say, I didn't expect it
to be this soon. It's been, what, four days since we've had our little discussion Inglebee?"

"How.. did you... get... in... here?" he chokes out, blood dripping from the side of his mouth.

"The logistics don't matter. What does matter is that I did. You didn't really think you could
hide yourself from me, did you? There's not a corner of this earth where you'd be safe from
me." Bending down, I grab a fistful of his hair and hold is head up to look at me. "So tell me
Inglebee, would you rather live without a foot or a hand? Usually I wouldn't let you have a
say in the matter but tonight I'm feeling rather generous," I grin.

"Fuck you," he spits out.

"Both it is then."

Dragging him over to the fireplace, I stop in my tracks when I hear one of his housemates
scream, "Stop! You can't do this!"

Dropping Inglebee onto the ground, I slowly turn around and face the girl. "Are you friends
with that?" I ask, tilting my head to the side to point to Inglebee.

"Y-yes," she stutters.

"What's your name?"

"Claire."

"Claire," I nod slowly as I walk up to her. "Word of advice, Claire, you should find yourself
some new friends because your current one likes to beat girls."

She shakes her head in disbelief. "No, that can't be true. Jason would never do that."

"Oh, but he would. Isn't that right Inglebee?" I ask as I return my attention to the pathetic git
behind me. "Tell me, what made you snap? Last I remember, you two were still in the
honeymoon phase. Was it Pansy? Did she break your fragile little heart? Or was it you who
finally came to their senses? Did you realize that no matter what, you'd never be good enough
for her?"

"He didn't do anything!" Claire shouts.

"She wouldn't shut up," Inglebee snarls.

"And there it is, a confession." Glancing back at Claire I say, "Sorry to break your heart
darling, but I told you he was no good."

"All she would talk about is you!" Inglebee continues. "It was always 'I wonder where Draco
has been' and 'I miss Draco, I haven't seen him much lately', it drove me insane! Hell, she'd
even talk about you while we were shagging!"

"Please," I scoff. "The mention of my name is probably what got you off in the first place."

With a wave of my hand, I signal Theo and Blaise to join us. While they drag him off to the
side and take turns punching and kicking him, I turn around and meet the horrified stares of
his peers.

"You all can stay or leave, I couldn't care less either way. But what you won't do is intervene.
If any of you even try to sneak away to alert a professor, I promise you a fate just as bad as
his, if not worse."

A few flee the room while the others remain frozen in place, their jaws practically on the
floor as they watch their friend get beaten.

Theo and Blaise step aside when I rejoin them. Kneeling, I grab Inglebee's arm and push his
sleeve up to reveal his bare arm. Yanking it to the side, I hold his arm just above the flames of
the fireplace.

"Any final words Inglebee?" I ask.

"Go to hell," he snarls.

"You first."

Agonized screams escape the back of his throat as I force his arm down into the flames. A
mixture of gasps and cries bounce off the walls as the skin on his arm slowly burns off.

-*-

When I return to my room, I dismiss Astoria, Daphne and Millicent. Once they've left, I
lower myself into the chair beside my bed and carefully brush the hair out of Pansy's face.

"Dammit Pans," I curse under my breath. "You just had to mess around with a Hufflepuff."

Her eyes flutter open and a small smile creeps its way across her lips. "I wanted to see what
all the hype was about," she jokes. "Badgers are supposed to be passionate and aggressive."

"I know you like it rough but this was a bit extreme don't you think?"

Pansy lets out a soft chuckle, her face twisting in pain as she lets out a small whimper.
 Taking out my wand, I summon a glass, press the tip of my wand to the rim and mutter,
"Aguamenti." Carefully lifting her head, I bring the cup to her lips and say, "Drink." Once
she's finished the water, I place the cup on the nightstand and relax back into my chair. As I
reach for the book on the floor, I feel her hand softly grab onto mine.

"Lay with me?" she requests.

"You know my rule Pans," I sigh. "I don't share a bed."

"Please?" she begs.

"No, now try and get some sleep. I'll be right here if you need me."

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 8
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

November 16 1995

Sleeping in a chair all night made quidditch practice unbearably painful. My back is stiff,
every muscle in my body is sore and my mind is still fuzzy from not getting enough sleep.
Even the slightest shift in wind caused me to nearly fall off of my broom. Thankfully, today's
practice was spent mostly discussing different tactics rather than actually flying around and
testing them out.

As we all walk off of the pitch, I offer my teammates a curt nod before breaking off to go join
Granger, who is hiding behind the stands.

Leaning against the wooden post, I begin taking off my gloves and say, "Coast is clear
Granger." Slowly, she sticks her head out and checks both ways before tiptoeing out. "I have
to say, I'm surprised you went back there."

"Why's that?" she asks as she pats the dirt off of her skirt.

"That's where everyone goes to hook-up."

"People snog back there?!" she asks.

"That and other things."

Her eyes widen as she looks back at where she was just standing. "That's foul!" she exclaims,
her face twisted in disgust.

"Juvenile is the word I would've used," I reply as I grab onto the wooden post and twist my
torso to help stretch my back.

"I must say Malfoy, your performance out there was rather weak compared to usual. I believe
you almost fell off your broom not once, but twice," she taunts.

"Can't keep your eyes off of me, can you Granger?" I smirk causing her lip to curl as she rolls
her eyes.

"Anyways," she huffs as she places her books down on the bench. "Shall we get started?"

"We're not working here."

"Why?"

"I don't know about you but I'd prefer to not get a splinter in my arse." Grabbing her books
with one hand and my broom with the other, I begin walking off. Granger pouts for a moment
but eventually she begins following suit. In true Hermione Granger fashion, she berates me
with the questions the entire way down - none of which I offer her an answer to.

"I'm beginning to think you have no intention of working at all-" her sentence is abruptly cut
off when her head crashes into my back due to her being too busy talking to notice that I had
stopped walking. Her eyes light up as she takes in the scenery before us. "What's this?" she
asks.

"A lake," I reply.

"I meant this," she states as she waves her hands at the blanket that's laid out on the grass.

"A blanket. Honestly Granger, aren't you supposed to be the brightest witch of our age?" I
mock as I carefully set the books down on the blanket.

As I walk over to the tree and prop my broom up against it, Granger takes a seat. Her legs are
off to the side, her ankles neatly crossed as she pats the fabric of her skirt down to cover as
much of her thighs as possible.

"I'm assuming this was your doing?" she says. "Unless, of course, we just happened to
stumble upon it."

"Everyone knows you would never let a book touch the ground," I state as I remove my skin
and arm guards. Tossing them aside, I take off my jersey and kick off my shoes. While I'm
unzipping my pants, Granger lets out a gasp.

"Malfoy! What do you think you're doing?" she asks as she hides her face in her hands.

"Going for a swim."

Stepping into the water, I glance over my shoulder at her only to discover that her eyes were
already trained on me. Her cheeks instantly flush when her eyes meet mine. She clears her
throat and redirects her attention the book in her lap as she attempts to hide her blush.

Stare all you want Granger.

Diving into the water, I swim out until my feet can no longer touch the bottom.

"You know there are grindylows in there, right?" she calls out. "They wouldn't think twice
before drowning you!"

"I'm sure you'd love nothing more Granger."

"And they bite!" she adds.

"Don't you have a research paper to be working on?" I question.

"It's kind of hard to do so when my main source of information is off galavanting in the
water," she argues.
"I can answer the million questions you have from here Granger."

Angrily, she picks up her notepad and dramatically slams it down into her lap. She begins
asking question after question as she twirls her quill between her fingers. In return, I offer her
vague answers to each as I peacefully float on my back.

"What about legilimency?" she asks.

"What about it?"

"Well, wouldn't it be fair to say that understanding legilimency would help strengthen your
occlumency? It's a common war tactic, know your opponent so that you can better dismantle
them."

There's Wizarding England's brightest witch.

My lips part and I'm about to respond when suddenly, I feel a sharp pinch in my arse. "Fuck,"
I wince. Looking down I see none other than a blood grindylow swimming below.

"Everything alright over there?" Granger asks.

There's absolutely no fucking way I'm letting her know what just happened, I'd never hear the
end of it.

"Just fine!" I shout back. Kicking the gremlin the head, I promptly swim back to shore.

"Gone pruney?" she teases.

"A tad," I reply. "Mind throwing me that towel?"

Reaching behind her, Granger grabs the folded towel and tosses it over to me. As I'm drying
myself off I begin speaking on her previous statement.

"Understanding legilimency would definitely be useful but being able to perform both skills
would give an individual a true upper hand in the situation." I stop speaking once I notice that
the bloody witch isn't even listening to me. Instead, her eyes are examining every inch of my
body as she runs the edge of her quill along her bottom lip.

Part of me considers letting her continue to do so. I'm not ashamed to admit that I've zoned
out while she was speaking and instead memorized every curve of her body. Gods, the things
I would do to this witch. The thought alone of her soft lips wrapped around me is enough to
get me off. I could rip that ghastly skirt of hers off and take her right here, right now and
listen as she recites everything I've taught her on occlumency as her bring her to completion.

The idea is appealing but I'm a realist, which means I know that if I actually tried to make
any sort of move on her I'd only be met with a slap in the face, maybe even a fist, and most
likely a year's worth of detention after she reports the incident to McGonagall.

Sorry Granger, looks like your show has to come to an end.

Granger is snapped from her daze by the sound of my clearing my throat. Her eyes peel away
from my torso and flicker up to meet mine.

"I'm not speaking just to hear my own voice Granger," I ridicule. "Do try your best to pay
attention."

She readjusts her position and bites the inside of her cheek shamefully. "S-sorry, continue."

"With pleasure. As I was saying, if someone was able to perform both legilimecy and
occlumency then they could not only defend themselves from a legilimens but they could
also turn it back on them. By the time the attacker noticed and put up defensive walls, the
other individual would've already had enough time to sift through any valuable information."

"This is brilliant Malfoy," she exclaims as she scribbles everything down.

Granger switched between asking follow-up questions and gushing about how big of a
breakthrough this was, even as we made our way back to the castle. Usually I hate when
people ramble, the constant sound of their voice typically agitates me within less than a few
minutes but not hers.

Granger speaks with precision, there's intention behind every word. Her eyes light up and the
left corner of her mouth tugs upwards whenever she speaks about something she's passionate
about.

Watching her is like watching the sun set. It's a very simple act and yet there's something
magical about it.

We both stop once we reach the courtyard. As we're standing, I shift my weight to the left
causing a slight groan to escape the back of my throat.

"Sorry," Granger apologizes. "I didn't mean to talk your ear off."

I shake my head. "It's not you, I'm just sore from practice." and from getting bit by that
bloody grindylow.

"You could try making a balm out of dittany and bitterroot. Professor Sprout has a sizable
amount that I'm sure she'd be willing to share."

"I'll be sure to give that a try," I say, offering her a tight smile.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then. Have a good night, Malfoy."

"You too, Granger."

-*-

The journey back to the common room was the most unpleasant thing I've done all day. By
the time I finally step inside and spot Blaise, who sprawled out on the couch by the fire, I'm
limping like a complete idiot.
 "Where did you run off to after practice?" Blaise asks.

"I went for a swim," I reply as I continue making my way through the common.

"Why are you walking like that mate?" he chuckles.

"Because I got bit in the arse by a grindylow Blaise!"

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 9
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

November 18 1995

As we're leaving the library, Granger informs me that she'd like for us to sit down with
Professor Snape to discuss our research paper with him. Why she wants to do such a thing is
beyond me.

"Ron told me that he's a skilled legilimens. I believe it would be highly beneficial to our
research if we spoke with him," she states.

I'm about to tell her that she can interview him on her own if she so pleases but that I will not
be joining her but before I can, she starts talking again.

"Professor Snape has set aside time for us this afternoon at six."

I should've realized that bringing up meeting with Snape was merely a formality. This is
Granger we're talking about. Of course she took it upon herself to schedule the bloody thing.

"He seemed rather excited to discuss this with us. Well, as excited as Professor Snape can be
that is. Still, it was a bit odd," she shrugs.

I don't find it odd at all. Ever since the dinner Snape has tried to approach me on several
occasions to speak about it. He'd ask me stay behind after potions and would then proceed to
ask me for updates on how it was going.

"I'm sure you are having no issues comprehending the material," he had told me a few days
ago.

In addition to that, I've also felt him attempt to use legilimency on me a handful of times.
Unfortunately for him, I'm not a complete fuckwit. Each time he'd try to look into my mind,
I'd lower my walls just enough to grant him access to the hundreds of disturbing thoughts
within my head. For some reason, each time he'd extract himself there'd be a disturbed look
in his eyes. I can't possibly imagine why..

"Did you hear me?" Granger asks.

"Yes Granger, I heard. Six sharp and not a minute late," I drawl.

6:00 pm

For once, I've actually arrived at the exact time that's been requested of me. But of course my
timely arrival garners little acknowledgement since Granger had already made herself
comfortable.

"Mr Malfoy," Snape says in his usual slow and monotone voice. "How nice of you to join
us."

Not offering any pleasantries in return, I make my way over to where they are, lean against
the wall and shove my hands into my pockets - just to make sure they're aware of how bored
I am.

"As I was saying Professor," Granger continues. "Malfoy and I have recently discussed how
valuable it would be for an occlumens to become skilled in legilimency as well."

"Is that so?" Snape asks, his eyes still trained on me.

"Yes," Granger nods as she also glances over at me. "The occlumens would be able to shut
out the legilimens and be able to then turn the legilimency back on them."

Snape's brow slightly raises. "This is a rather advanced approach Miss Granger. I presume it
was your idea?"

She shakes her head. "No sir, it was actually Malfoy's."

"I see," he hums. "It seems you are in no need of my assistance regarding occlumency, so
what was it you wished to consult me for?"

Yes Granger, why are we here?

"Well since Malfoy and I have started expanding our research into legilimency, I was hoping
that you might be able to help shed some light on that." She hesitates for a moment before
saying, "I was thinking perhaps a demonstration?"

Both Snape and I's eyes widen at her request. A demonstration? Is this witch seriously asking
for a professor to perform legilimency on her? I had to have heard her incorrectly.

"Miss Granger, I will need you to be more specific" Snape tells her.

"As I'm sure you know, there's very limited material on the topic. I believe experiencing it
firsthand would be extremely beneficial so that I may properly understand the process."

"You want me to use legililmency on you?"

Say no.

"Yes."

What a fucking idiot.

Has Granger not listened to a single thing I've said. People spend decades trying to perfect
their occlumency to keep legilimens out of their mind for a reason. Does she not realize that
by asking this she is granting him full access to every memory, thought, fear and desire
within that stupid head of hers?

Snape stands up from his chair, slowly walks around his desk and approaches Granger.

"Are you certain that this is what you want?"

She nods confidently. "Positive."

Everything happens so quickly. Snape mutters "Legilimens," and immediately, Granger's grip
tightens on the edge of her seat. The sight of her body seizing causes my eye to twitch but I
try my best to maintain my composure. After a few minutes, Snape extracts himself from her
mind. My jaw unclenches as I watch Granger relax back into her chair.

"That was..." she trails off as she collects her thoughts. "Not at all what I imagined it would
be like but it brought a lot of clarity. "Malfoy," she says as she looks over at me. "You need to
give it a try. Everything that we've discussed makes even more sense once you've
experienced it for yourself."

"I don't believe he would benefit as you have, Miss Granger," Snape interjects. "He is no
strange to the act. Isn't that correct, Mr Malfoy?"

Without a word, I storm out of the room. I can hear the faint sound of Granger thanking
Snape for his time which is then shortly followed by the sound of her footsteps trailing after
me. She's calling out my name, asking me to slow down and wait, but I keep walking.

"Malfoy!" she shouts as she turns the corner, her body crashing into mine.

Reaching out, I grab onto her elbow to keep her from falling back. Her eyes dart down to
where my hand is as she lets out a startled gasp.

"What the hell was that Granger?" I ask, my words dripping with anger.

"W-what do you mean?"

"Why did you feel the need to get Snape involved? Am I not providing you with enough
information for this stupid paper?" I ask, my hand still gripping her elbow.

She shakes her head. "No, you are, it's just-"

"Then why in Merlin's name did you ask him to perform legilimency on you?"

"You're hurting me Malfoy," she winces.

Immediately, I drop my hand and take a step back. Dragging my hand down the length of my
face, I let out an aggravated sigh. "Why do you care so much?"

"In general?"
 "No Granger, that I already know. You have an exasperating tendency to put the needs of
others far above your own. What I'm asking is why do you care so much about the research
paper?"

"So that we can come out on top and work alongside Dumbledore."

I shake my head and take a step into her.

"You've never been one to care about coming out on top. Sure, you like to be the brightest but
ranking isn't something you've ever cared for. Try again."

"If you know me so well then why don't you answer your own bloody question," she
suggests.

"Because if i knew then I wouldn't be asking, would I?"

Granger rolls her eyes and folds her arms. "I don't know what you want me to say Malfoy."

"I want you to tell me why you willing let Snape enter your mind and don't say that it was for
the paper because we both know that's bullshit. I'm giving you one last chance to be honest
with me Granger."

There's a moment where I see it, her mask drop. It was quick and would've easily been
missed if i wasn't paying close attention.

Don't lie to me Granger. Don't lie to me.

"I told you, it was for the paper," she says quietly.

She may be brilliant but she's a terrible liar. I don't know what her ulterior motive is here but
the last thing I need is to be around someone who I don't feel like I can trust, not with what's
about to come my way. It's my fault for being foolish enough to believe that I could do one
last normal thing like work on some stupid research paper before everything goes to shit.

"Right," I say, my jaw clenching. "I can't do this with you anymore Granger. I'll get someone
to deliver my notes and revisions to you but that's it. No more library meetings. I'm done."

Maybe she'll fight back.

Maybe she'll fight for me to stay.

"Okay, I understand."

Guess not.

"Goodbye Granger."

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 10
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

November 27 1995

It's been a little over a week since I've last spoken to Granger, in person that is. I've enlisted a
third year to deliver our notes back and forth. Even though we're no longer working together
in the library, I can still hear her nagging voice ringing in my ears.

She's tried to approach me a few times between classes and in the Great Hall but before she
can get close enough, I manage to slip away into the crowd. I only had to use a
disillusionment charm a handful of times when I couldn't locate a getaway.

Some might say I was overreacting over the whole Snape thing but those people can piss off
for all I care. I know Granger well enough to be able to tell when she's lying and when she
looked me in the eyes that day and said that her reason for the meeting and asking him to use
legilimency on her was solely for the project, dishonesty was written all over her face.

Snape has also solidified his place on my list of people I don't trust.

After class he pulled me aside and told me that, and I quote, "If you ever find yourself in
need of help in the future, you know where to find me."

Father always spoke poorly of him and I can see why. The guy is annoying and seems to
enjoy sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. He and Granger have that trait in common,
maybe that's why she wanted to meet with him. Maybe the little lion has some unrequited
feelings for the greasy old man and asking him to enter her mind was her version of flirting.

No. That wasn't it. As much as I wish it were that simple, I'm not an idiot. Nothing is ever
simple when it comes to Hermione fucking Granger. She has a real talent when it comes to
making things far more complicated than they need to be.

What she doesn't have a talent in is lying. If she could learn to have some sort of control over
her facial movements maybe she'd be able to get away with a few lies here and there but until
then, she might as well stick to telling the truth.

For example: stuttering.

Granger usually speaks with confidence, even when she really shouldn't be, except for when
she's lying. She'll stumble over her words and some times even repeat herself.

Another way to tell is the volume of her voice. Like that day when she said, "I told you, it
was for the paper." She was practically whispering, which is how I knew what she was telling
me was utter bullshit.
In addition, she'll often find it hard to make any sort of eye contact while lying. It's probably
her conscious taking over. I'm pretty sure somewhere in the handbook on how to be the
perfect Gryffindor, it says lying is for sinners and that to be in that house you can't be a
sinner. Somewhere in parentheses it probably says 'if you want to be a sinner, go join
Slytherin.'

Regardless, I don't even care why Granger felt the need to lie to me. It's just the fact that she
did. I already have enough people in my life who refuse to ever be truthful with me, I don't
need another. It's probably for the best anyways, at least for her. The more distance she keeps
from me, the better off she will be.

No longer having to meet her in the library at night has also gotten Theo and Blaise off my
back which is a relief. Pansy, however, still feels the need to track my every move. I don't
know why she does but, whatever makes her happy I guess.

Blaise and Theo are bickering over who gets the last roll when, Nolan, the third year I had
mentioned earlier, appears at my side.

"Here you go," he says as he hands me an envelope. Once I remove the item from his hands
he rushes off. I think he's scared of me, couldn't tell you why though. I personally think I'm
an extremely nice individual.

Pansy reaches across the table and tries to snatch the envelope from my hand but I jerk away.

"What's in that envelope of yours anyway?" she huffs as she sits back down.

"None of your business Pans," I say before placing it in my lap.

"Who cares about what's in that bloody thing," Blaise scoffs. "We have more important things
to be focusing on."

He doesn't need to say anything else for me to know what he's referring to. Slytherin is going
against Hufflepuff this coming Thursday and after what Inglebee did to Pansy, the whole
team has been itching to get their hands on them.

"I have a few new plays that I can't wait to put to use, specifically against Inglebitch," Blaise
states.

"Inglebee," Pansy corrects.

"Same shit," he says as he rolls his eyes.

In all honesty, I'm surprised Inglebee was cleared to play this afternoon. I'm even more
surprised that he's able to stay upright on his broom after the makeover I kindly gave him.
Madam Pomfrey may have been able to salvage his foot but his hand was a lost cause. If you
asked me, I'd say he got off rather easy.

Blaise is now using the peas on his plate to demonstrate a few of the new plays he was
referring to earlier. He's pushing them around with his finger and then suddenly, he slams his
fist down, crushing one of the peas.
"That one was Inglebee," he proudly states before crushing another one. "And that one was
Crawley. I never did like that twat."

Crawley is the boyfriend of a girl who is "rumored" to have slept with Theo last Wednesday.
Everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but knowing Theo, I think it's safe to say he's guilty.
His innocence, or lack thereof, means nothing though. Word has gotten around that Crawley
has it out for Theo which immediately puts a target on his back.

This upcoming match seems to be becoming more of a 'who can hit the other with a bludger
the most' rather than an actual quidditch game, which I'm perfectly content with. It's been far
too long since anything exciting has happened around here.

Slytherin vs Hufflepuff

Dark clouds fill the sky above us as a storm rolls its way in. I've always enjoyed a nice storm
on game day. The possibility of someone on the opposing team getting struck by lightning
makes things far more interesting.

As both teams make their way out to the center of the pitch, Inglebee and Crawley position
themselves directly across from Theo and I. I don't know what's happening with their faces
but I'm guessing it's their attempt at trying to intimidate us, which they're completely failing
at. From my perspective, it just looks like they're both extremely constipated.

A light gush of wind causes Inglebee to wobble on his broomstick.

"Having trouble holding on Inglebee?" I mock. "Must be difficult to steer with only one hand.
If you'd like, we can offer you a head start. We've always had a soft spot for the
handicapped."

"You'll be the handicapped one after this game Malfoy," he sneers, his knuckles turning white
as he tightens his grip on his broom.

"Now, don't go making promises you can't keep."

Crawley leans over and whispers something to him. Whatever he said managed to calm him
down and cause him to go silent. These two are up to something and I'm honestly quite
excited to find out what it is.

A crack of thunder harmonizes with the sound of the horn which is immediately followed by
the release of the snitch, bludgers and quaffle. Blaise and the other chasers make their way
down the field, tossing the quaffle back and forth. Theo assumes his proper place in front of
the rings as our keeper and I head for the snitch.

Glancing over my shoulder I see Crawley following closely behind, which doesn't make
sense considering he's a beater but if he wants to chase me around then so be it.
 I'm just about to grab onto the small golden sphere but out of the corner of my eye, I see a
bludger heading straight for me. Leaning to the left, I dodge the bludger. Pulling up on the
front of my broom, I flip over and reposition myself behind Crawley.

He frantically looks around to try and find me but because he has less than three brain cells,
he doesn't think to check behind him. After a few more minutes, he gives up on his search
and instead seeks out Inglebee. I watch as they signal one another before both flying off.

What the hell are these two up to?

Moving up higher so that I can see the entire field, I look over at Blaise who is still traveling
down the field with the other chasers. Theo is in his own world per usual, paying barely any
attention to the game and Inglebee and Crawley are hitting a bludger back and forth... going
the opposite direction of everyone else. Taking a closer look, I notice that they're both
mumbling to themselves.

They're headed for Theo.

"Nott!" I shout, attempting to get his attention but my voice is drowned out by the
combination of rain and thunder and even if he could hear me, he's too occupied with some
Ravenclaw in the stands to the left of him.

Crawley and Inglebee are closing in and I know what I have to do. I'm not happy about it by
any means but I either intervene or Theo possibly loses his head.

"For fucks sake," I groan before pushing down on the front of my broom and rushing down to
where Theo is. Just as the bludger is about to slam into Theo, I place myself in front of him.

It feels like all of the air has been smacked out of me as I fall off my broom and slam down
onto the ground. The collective sounds of gasps is the last thing I hear before my vision goes
black.

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 11
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Regaining consciousness, I slowly open my eyes. Madam Pomfrey is hovered over me as she
examines my torso and as I turn my head to the side, I spot Blaise and Theo, who are
snickering about how dumb I looked when I fell.

"Look who decided to finally wake up," Blaise grins. "You looked like a proper chump mate.
Your arms were flailing about like overcooked noodles."

Theo chuckles at his statement but immediately stops when I shoot him a glare.

"What are you laughing about?" I ask. "You're the one who was originally supposed to be in
this bed."

Theo clears his throat. "I know, thanks mate. I owe you one," he says as he leans forward and
gently squeezes my shoulder.

"Here's a wild idea, sleep with girls who aren't already spoken for."

"Yeah, I suppose that's a good idea," he sighs. "I really am sorry."

"I'll consider accepting your apology after you two tell me about what happened to Crawley
and Inglebee. It's obvious that they hexed the bludger, so what punishment have they been
handed?"

Blaise and Theo both avert their eyes, making sure to look at everything but me.

"You're joking, right?" I ask. No response. "They got away with it?!" An agonizing pain
shoots through my chest when I sit up.

"Mr Malfoy, you need to take it easy," Madam Pomfrey warns me.

I wave her off and mouth that I'm fine.

"Speak Blaise," I command.

He lets out an exaggerated sigh before saying, "Madam Hooch is refusing to acknowledge
any of our claims. Harper is investigating the bludger, trying to find a way to prove that it
was tampered with but not many people saw what happened. Everyone was too focused on
the actual game which was taking place on the opposite end of the pitch."

"Inglebee and Crawley are gave some half arsed excuse as to why they were near us in the
first place," Theo adds.
Madam Pomfrey hands me a glass with some sort of potion in it. I don't even bother asking
what it is and shoot it back before swinging my legs over the edge of the bed.

"Easy there," she says as I struggle up to my feet. "You have three broken ribs and a
punctured lung. The potion should fully heal you but you need to take it easy for a bit."

"Yeah, yeah," I groan as I slip on my jacket.

"You seem calm," Theo says. "Doesn't he seem calm?" he directs at Blaise.

Blaise nods. "Too calm."

"Yeah, far too calm." Theo turns back to face me. "Do you have a concussion or something?
Have you gone deaf?"

"No and no," I reply.

"Then why are you so calm?!" Theo asks. "We just told you that Crawley and Inglebee are
getting away with what they've done!"

"No, they're not," I say. "After curfew, grab the both of them and bring them up to the
astronomy tower."

"What are you going to do?" Blaise asks.

"It's a surprise," I smirk.

-*-

Eleven pm rolls around and Madam Pomfrey has just left for the night. She gave me the
choice to return to my dorm tonight but I decided against that because being here provides
me with an alibi. The healer for the night shift isn't due to arrive for another ten minutes,
granting me the perfect window to sneak out undetected.

Sneaking my way out of the infirmary, I head for the astronomy tower. I always enjoyed
going up there when everyone else was asleep. In a way, the astronomy tower offered me
sanctuary - a place where no one was expecting anything of me, a place where I could just be
alone and be myself.

Shame that tonight I'm going to be tainting it with the presence of two dimwitted Hufflepuffs.

As I climb up the stairs, I hear the faint sound of two voices shouting.

"Let me go Zabini! You saw what happened to Malfoy after he messed with me!" Inglebee
says.

Merlin I've missed the sound of weak threats echoing through the air.

Reaching the top floor, I round the corner and say, "A few broken ribs and a punctured lung
isn't what I'd necessarily classify as a success. Now, if you had managed to paralyze, blind or
even kill me, then perhaps I'd pay my respects."

Crawley's eyes widen while Inglebee's narrow at me, his eyebrows knitting together as his
tiny brain tries to comprehend how I'm still standing.

"We've got to stop meeting like this Inglebee."

"They said you were in the infirmary," he says. "They said that you were unconscious and
would most likely be out for a week."

"It's going to take a lot more than some rogue bludger to take me out."

Crawley takes the smart route, which is staying silent. Whereas Inglebee continues to run his
mouth. Growing tired of hearing his voice, I mutter "Oscausi," causing his mouth to seal
shut. Walking over to Crawley, I bend down so that I'm at eye level with him. I wave my
hand, signaling Theo to force his head up. Once Crawley's eyes meet mine, I focus my
attention on the space between his eyebrows and force my way into his mind.

And there it all is, playing out before me like a movie.

Inglebee approaching Crawley in the Great Hall a few days ago and capitalizing off of his
fresh wound after just finding out that his sweet girlfriend cheated on him with Theo.

If I had a single sensitive bone in my body, I might feel bad for him.

Good thing I don't.

"We can make them pay for what they did to us Owen," Inglebee says to him.

"I don't want to make anyone pay. I just want to sit here and sulk while I eat my pudding,"
Crawley replies .

Inglebee pulls his plate away, grabs him by the shoulders and turns him to face him. "Nott
and Malfoy run around this school doing whatever they want. They believe that they're
untouchable, that no one would dare to challenge them but not anymore. We can do this
Owen, you just have to trust me."

Crawley lets out a defeated sigh. "Alright, what did you have in mind?"

Blinking, I break the connection and extract myself from his mind.

"Word of advice Crawley, don't give into peer pressure," I state. "And never put your trust in
someone who is missing an entire hand." Patting his cheek, I stand up and return to Inglebee.

Grabbing his arm, I push up his sleeve and take a moment to inspect the poorly healed area
where his hand once was. "Looks rather plain," I frown. "Perhaps we should add some more
character to it." Reaching into my back pocket, I retrieve the small pocket knife and flick my
wrist causing the blade to flip out. "Hold still Inglebee, wouldn't want to ruin my artwork."
Flipping the knife in my hand so that the blade is pointing towards the floor, I press the tip
into his forearm and begin carving into his skin. Blaise holds his body in place as he wiggles
around, his screams muffled due to the charm I placed on him earlier. Once I've finished, I
hold up his arm and admire my craftsmanship. Engraved into his skin is неудача.

"What does it say?" Blaise asks.

"Failure," I reply. "This way you'll have a permanent reminder of what you are," I direct at
Inglebee. "You're welcome."

Inglebee attempts to speak but nothing comes out. Feeling generous, I lift the spell.
Immediately, he spits in my face. My left hand quickly finds its way around his neck and I lift
him up to his feet.

"That's no way to thank someone Inglebee."

Releasing him, he wobbles for a moment but once he finds his footing he lunges for me.
Casually stepping to the right, I avoid him entirely. He quickly turns on his heels and readies
himself to lunge for me again.

"Tell you what, I'll grant you one swing," I state.

He rolls up his other sleeve and cracks his neck before swinging his arm around. His fist is
only inches away from my face but before it can make contact, i sweep his foot out from
under him. Grabbing the back of his shirt, I keep him from falling forward and spin him
around. Dragging him over to the railing, I push him forward so that he's hanging over. His
hand scrambles to grab onto me, his nails digging into my skin.

"You're really starting to become a major pain in my arse Inglebee," I say before grabbing his
arm, twisting it behind his back and popping it out of place. "Now, I will only say this once,
so do try your best to pay attention. If you even think about pulling some shit like you did out
on the quidditch pitch, you'll find yourself in this exact same position. Only difference is, my
fingers might just accidentally slip."

Letting go of his shirt for a moment, his body begins to fall forward. Just before he goes
completely over the edge, I grab back onto him, pull him up and throw him onto the ground.
As I step toward him, he frantically crawls backward.

"Do we have an understanding?"

He quickly nods his head yes.

"Good," I smile.

Turning my attention back to Crawley, I decide that he'd be a good test subject to see how
strong my legilimency has gotten. "It's nothing personal Crawley," I say as I place a hand on
his shoulder and once again, force my way into his mind.

It takes me less than a minute to find what I'm looking for - his biggest fear. Now that I have
what I need, I sift through his mind a little bit more and find a weak spot but instead of
 looking into the memory, I alter it. Once I hear him scream, I pull back and watch as Crawley
breaks from Theo's hold and begins frantically swatting at his body.

"S-s-spiders! A-all over!" he screams.

To be honest, I didn't expect it to work that well. It was my first time altering a memory to
create a realtime hallucination. Gods I'm good. Inglebee rushes over to his friend's side,
attempting to try and calm him down by telling him that there aren't any spiders but nothing
works.

Satisfied with our work, Theo, Blaise and I head down and break off into opposite directions.
They both return to the common room while I head back to the infirmary. When I reach the
door, I peek inside to see where the night shift healer is. Thankfully, she's busy looking over
another student's chart on the east end of the room so her back is to the door. Quietly, I sneak
inside and rush over to my bed.

I've only been back for five minutes or so when I hear a collection of footsteps and whispers.
Closing my eyes to pretend that I'm asleep, I listen as Professor Sprout and McGonagall
question Inglebee.

"What happened to your arm Jason?" McGonagall asks.

"Mal-" he beings but he quickly corrects himself. "Owen and I were just messing around,
practicing our dueling and I slipped and fell on my shoulder."

"There's blood on your sleeve Mr Inglebee."

"Like I said, we were practicing our dueling. I failed to block one of his hexes."

"And what about Mr Crawley? Is his current state a result of your dueling practice as well?"
Sprout asks.

"No," he replies. "I.. I don't know what happened. He was fine just a few minutes ago," he
lies.

Very good Inglebee, you're finally learning.

Chapter End Notes

noted
 Chapter 12
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

December 5 1995

I was finally released from the hospital wing today. I should've taken Madam Pomfrey up on
her offer my first night because apparently the night shift healer left a note stating that my
condition was "too severe" and that I required more observation time. I don't know why
people always look so refreshed when they leave the infirmary, that room was far too stuffy
and the bed was so stiff I almost slept on the floor instead one night.

On top of my less than relaxing stay, I was also given the gift of homework. Apparently if
you nearly die on school property, the professor's like to send a get well soon present in the
form of assignments. How thoughtful.

Luckily Pansy would bring me my work each day so I could stay on top of it. Her visits
tended to be my least favorite part of the day though. Usually I don't mind her company but
her constant rants and several mentions of Granger made me want to avada myself. Even now
as we sit in the common room she's still talking my ear off.

"She's been asking about you," Pansy tells me.

"Who?"

"Granger."

My eyebrow furrow as I try to figure out what could have possibly caused Granger to ask
Pansy about me. It couldn't be because she's mad at me about the research paper. Even while
in the infirmary I kept up my end of the deal and sent her notes. I guess there is the
possibility that she's upset with my latest one. The last draft she sent me was the worst thing I
ever read, I don't think there was a single line in that thing that I didn't cross out. Still, her
asking my friends about me doesn't make any sense. I need more context.

"What has she been asking?"

Pansy replies with a shrug and continues to inspect her nails. I should've figured she wouldn't
tell me.

-*-

After turning in the last of my assignments and suffering through countless "I'm glad you're
doing better," and "happy to see you're back on your feet Mr Malfoy," I enter the Great Hall
and join Blaise and Theo. They're in the middle of debating on where flamingos are from.
Why they're debating such a thing, I have no idea.
"I hate to interrupt but Pans mentioned earlier that Granger has been asking about me. Do
either of you happen to know anything about that?"

"She came up to me during divination the other day," Theo tells me. "I thought she was
coming to finally confess her undying love to me."

"What did she want?" I ask.

"To know about you."

"What about me?"

"Mainly how you were recovering, which was weird. She also asked if I knew anything about
the classes that you're currently taking and if you took any over the summer, which was even
weirder."

"Why?"

"Because why would she want to talk about you when she had my attention?" he replies.
"Everyone knows I'm a lot more fun than you."

I roll my eyes at his stupidity. "I meant why was she asking about the classes I've taken
Theo."

"Oh, I don't know. Once I told her that I had a hard enough time memorizing my own
schedule she walked away."

None of this makes any sense.

Looking across the room, I spot Granger at the Gryffindor table. It's not surprising to me that
her gaze was already on me but it is confusing. Once our eyes meet, she quickly averts her
attention down to her plate and uncomfortably shifts in her seat.

What in Gods name are you up to Granger?

December 8 1995

She keeps staring at me.

I feel like a fucking caged animal on displace. What's next? Is she going to throw some
peanuts and ask me to dance? Usually I'd be flattered to be on the receiving end of her gaze
but considering the fact that she's been going around trying to get information from my
friends about me, I'm more agitated than flattered.

In a circumstance like this, I'd usually use legilimency to figure out what has caused her
sudden interest in me but the drugs that Madam Pomfrey has me on for pain fuzzes my mind,
rendering me unable to do so. I think the most annoying thing is that she isn't just coming
directly to me and asking her stupid questions.
This is just another reason for me to not trust her.

December 9 1995

I'm talking with Blaise and Harper as we walk off the pitch after quidditch practice when
suddenly I hear my name being called out. Looking up I see Pansy angrily marching towards
me. Great, what's angered her today?

"You dickhead!" she shouts as she smacks my chest. "All the times you skipped out on
parties and hanging out with me, claiming to be too busy, you were working on some stupid
paper for some secret little group?!"

My entire team is now crowded around us, watching in amusement as she continues to curse
me out as she slaps and shoves me.

"Are you done yet?" I drawl.

"No!" she snaps, rage consuming her eyes. "Not only did you keep this from me but you also
kept the fact that you've been working with Hermione bloody Granger?!" disgust lacing her
voice as Granger's name falls from her lips.

"That's enough Pans!" I scold, grabbing her wrist mid swing and dragging her away. Once
we're out of sight, I release her arm and say, "I don't know what your problem is but you need
to calm the fuck down."

"My problem is that it's insulting! Especially since I had to find out from her," she pouts,
crossing her arms. "Do you know how embarrassing it was when I didn't have a clue what
she was talking about? I mean seriously Draco, were you ever going to tell us or did you plan
on taking it to your grave? Though, I guess I don't blame you. If I were you I wouldn't want
anyone to know that I'm working with that filthy mudblood either."

Taking a step forward, I pin her against the post and say, "Let's get one thing straight Pans,
neither yours or anyone else's opinion means shit to me. Also, what I do in my free time is of
no concern to you, so try this thing called minding your own damn business. As for Granger,
the same rules apply. Leave her alone Pans, I mean it."

-*-

After a quick shower, I head to the library to find Granger. It's about time this investigation of
hers on me comes to an end. The plan is simple really, I will kindly ask her to keep my name
out of her mouth and to leave my friends alone. And if that doesn't work, a threat or two
should do the trick.

Closing in on our usual table, I scan the nearby area only to find no sign of Granger.
Checking the clock to my right, I see that it's exactly nine pm. Where the bloody hell is she?

I give it another fifteen minutes before deciding to call it a night but as I'm leaving I notice a
piece of parchment on the floor. Bending down, I pick it up and instantly recognize the
handwriting.

Pansy.

Storming out of the library, I make my way through the courtyard and out of the castle. As
I'm heading toward the Black Lake, I spot four figures in the distance. Three of them are
standing and the fourth is knelt down.

I swear, it's like Pansy is begging me to kill her.

"Don't you think this is going a bit far Pans?" I hear Daphne ask as I close in on them.

"If you don't like it then leave," Pansy replied. "But I'm not going to let this mudblood dig her
claws any further into Draco."

Now standing directly behind them, I roll my eyes and watch as her arm raises, my knife in
her hand.

"Ahem." All of their heads whip around at the sound of my clearing my throat. "Looks like
someone is having trouble listening," I tsk.

Pansy immediately drops her arm and attempts to hide the knife behind her back. "Draco,"
she gasps, her eyes full of panic. "What are you doing here?"

I look over at Millicent, whose hands are on Granger's shoulders to keep her from running
away.

"Are you going to let go of her or am I going to have to force you to?" I ask. Millicent
quickly removes her hands and steps away. "Very wise."

Approaching Granger, I kneel down in front of her, lift her chin and examine the cut on her
cheek. "It's superficial," I state. "It should heal on its own but it might scar."

As Granger nods, a tear escapes the corner of her eye. Gliding my thumb across her cheek, I
wipe it away before standing and saying, "Wait here."

Turning back to face Pansy, I walk up to her, reach around and grab her wrist, slowly adding
more pressure until eventually the knife falls from her grasp.

"You two are dismissed," I direct at Daphne and Millicent before dragging Pansy away.

"Ow! You're hurting me Draco," Pansy winces.

Releasing her arm, I say, "Do you mind telling me what the actual fuck you were doing? I
know you like to act dumb but we both know you aren't this fucking stupid, Pans."

Pansy remains silent as she gently rubs her wrist.

"Oh, so now you've decided to finally shut up," I mock.

"I was helping you!" she finally says.

"Helping me?"

"Yes."

"And what in Merlin's name could you possibly be helping me with?"

"With her!" Pansy says as she points over at Granger. "With stopping all of this before she
manages to wrap you even tighter around her finger than you already are."

The muscle in my jaw twitches as I narrow my eyes. "You don't know what you're talking
about, Pans."

"Don't I?" she challenges as she crosses her arms. "Please, Draco, anyone with a working
brain can see that you feel something for the witch. It was subtle at first but now you might as
well pin a bloody sign to your forehead that reads, 'I'm in love with Hermione Granger'."

I glance over my shoulder at Granger, who is still sitting on the ground as she looks at the
knife that Pansy used on her.

"What do you think your father would say if he found out, Draco? What do you think your
father would do if he found out? I'm only trying to protect you," Pansy said, her voice
softened with empathy.

My eyes flicker back to meet hers. "I don't need your or anyone else to protect me."

"I know you don't need anyone to but can't you just let someone? For once, can't you let
someone be there for you?"

"Go back to the common room."

"Draco-"

"Go back to the common room, Pans," I repeat, my voice harsher this time. "Go back and
never bring this up again. Do that and I'll pretend that none of this happened."

Pansy let out a defeated sigh. "It's okay to let people in, Draco," she said as she gently rubbed
my arm before walking off.

Letting out a deep breath, I head back to where Granger is. Her fingers are grazing over the
family crest on the handle as she stares down at the knife.

"She took it from my room," I tell her as I join her on the ground.

"Why do you have it?" she asks.

"What did your parents give you for your birthday, Granger?"

She raises a brow and gives me a confused look but says, "Books and some pocket change."
"I was given that knife," I tell her. "It was my thirteenth birthday."

Granger nods as she glances down at the knife once more before carefully handing it to me.
Pushing the dull edge against my knife, I push the blade back into the safe guard and place it
in my pocket.

"How did you know where I was, Malfoy?"

"I saw the note," I tell her. "And I must say, for someone as clever as yourself, you were
rather daft to believe that I wrote that. You'd think you've seen enough of my handwriting to
be able to tell that wasn't mine."

"I didn't give it much thought I guess," she shrugs.

"Clearly," I mock. "So, Granger, it's been brought to my attention that you've been asking an
awful lot about me recently. Care to tell me what's with this sudden fascination of yours?"

Her face instantly flushes out of embarrassment. "Oh-well-I-you see-" she stammers.

"Coherent sentences would be preferable, Granger."

"There's just a lot about you that doesn't make sense, that's all," she admits.

I raise a brow. "And you thought cornering my friends and questioning them about me was
the best course of action?"

"I just wanted a little more insight."

"What about your reasoning for telling Pansy about the research paper?"

"That one was a mistake, it sort of just slipped out."

As Granger apologizes for overstepping and goes into further detail about what it is about me
that confuses her and why she asked my friends the questions that she had, I can't help but
focus on the cut along her cheek. I'll never tell Pansy that she was right but she was pretty
fucking spot on with what she had to say about my feelings toward Granger.

I'm not in love with her or anything but she is the star in a majority of my fantasies and I've
discovered that with sexual attraction comes just actual attraction. The kind where you take
note of every small thing about them. From the way they prefer their tea in the morning to
which scent of perfume they tend to favor. It's exhausting to be so consumed by the thought
of someone else but it's even more exhausting to try and deny yourself of them.

"I really am sorry, Malfoy," Granger apologizes again. "I just wanted to know more about
you."

Fuck. There it is, the one feeling I hate the most in the world - guilt. If I hadn't been ignoring
her, maybe she would have just asked me directly instead of going around and talking to my
friends. And if she never talked to my friends, she never would've told Pansy about the
research paper and then none of this would've happened to her.
 Shit.

I already know I'm going to regret saying this.

"I will allow one question, Granger."

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 13
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"I will allow one question, Granger."

Gods. Why the hell did I say that? I can already see the millions of invasive questions
flooding into her mind as the area between her brows pinch together.

Granger is like a child, never satisfied with just one gift. I'll willingly cut my arm off if this
witch manages to ask me something without any follow up questions.

"Okay," she exhales, "I have one."

I wave my hand, signaling for her to continue.

"Occlumency," she states.

I roll my eyes. "Of course."

She shoots me a glare before asking, "How do you know so much about it?"

What a waste of a question.

"The same way you know how to tie your shoes," I reply.

"You were taught."

I nod.

"By who? When? Why?"

Looks like I won't be losing an arm. Thank Merlin, I really wasn't in the mood for that.

"That's three extra questions I didn't give approval for, Granger," I ridicule.

Her gaze remains trained on me. Some would call her determined. Maybe even brave for not
backing down. I, however, would call it was it truly is - stubborn.

I let out an irritated groan before answering. "My mother taught me last summer for reasons
unknown to me."

She doesn't even thank me for extra answers, just proceeds to ask for another.

"One more?"

"Granger," I sigh, growing tired of this interrogation.

"Please?" She bats her eyes and places her hand on top of mine, causing me to sharply inhale
as every muscle in my body tenses.

This is the first time she's ever initiated physical contact with me. That is if you don't count
the time she punched me in the face third year. Bloody brilliant day that was. That evening
was the first time I had ever fantasized about. There's just something so deliciously attractive
about a women who isn't afraid to put you in your place. I could've done without the broken
nose, but that's beside the point.

I glance down at her hand that's still resting on mine, her fingers gripping gently onto me.

If answering some nonsensical questions results in more of this, then I'll gladly sit here all
night doing so.

My eyes flicker up to meet hers. "What would you like to know, Granger?"

Her eyes instantly light up, her face beaming with joy as a giddy smile danced across her lips.

Scratch everything I have ever said. This, right here, is my favorite version of her.

The Next Morning

I've just poured myself a cup of tea, the rim barely grazing against my lips, when all of a
sudden the worst sound I have ever experienced rings in my ear.

"We need to talk, Malfoy," Potter seethes.

Lazily, my eyes shift up to the left and land on scar head, who is fuming with rage as he
hovers over me.

"At least let me enjoy a sip of my tea before forcing me to speak to the less fortunate." I raise
my cup to my mouth again, the heat of the liquid brushing against my skin, but before I can
get a taste Potter smacks it out of my hands.

Unaffected by his childish act, I grab a new cup and fill it. As I'm lifting it to my mouth, I see
Potter raise his hand out of the corner of my eye. Just as he was about to waste yet another
perfect cup of tea, I firmly grab onto his wrist.

Still holding onto Potter, I take a well deserved sip of my tea and carefully place it down on
the table.

"Okay," I say as I get up from my seat. "Now you may throw your fit."

He yanks his arm from my grasp. "What did you do to her?" he asks as he massages his wrist.

I raise a brow. "You're going to have to be more specific than that."

"Hermione!" he shouts.

If people weren't already staring, they certainly are now.

"I saw her cheek this morning," he continues. "I know you had something to do with it. I
thought maybe somewhere in that messed up head of yours would be some sort of moral
code, but I guess I was wrong because apparently, Draco Malfoy..."

"You better choose your next words wisely, Potter," I threaten.

"...beats girls!"

Grabbing him by the front of his robes, I lift him up and slam him down onto the table. Plates
and cups crash onto the ground and the sound of gasps echo throughout the room.

"What is going on?" Granger screams as she rushes towards us.

"Leave it Hermione!" Potter yells. "I'm handling it."

"Yes Harry, you really look like it," Granger rolls her eyes as she crosses her arms. "I told
you to stay out of it!"

"Well, I'm not," he replies. "Malfoy can't keep going around doing whatever he wants without
any repercussions. It's time he finally pays for what he's done."

A mocking chuckle escapes the back of my throat. "And you are going to be the one to do
that?" I press my forearm down onto his chest, causing him to wheeze as all of the air escapes
his lungs. "You're even dumber than I thought, Potter."

I have his tie in my free hand, ready to strangle the twat with it, when all of a sudden I feel a
relaxed hand on my shoulder.

Her hand.

Unlike last night, my body doesn't tense under her touch. Instead, it relaxes.

"Draco." The sound of my given name rolling off of the tip of her tongue makes my eye
twitch. She says it so casually, like we're old mates who haven't spent the last five or so years
solely referring to one another by our family names.

"Let him go," she says quietly.

I don't know why but I do as she requests.

As soon as I step back, Granger positions herself between Potter and I. I fully expected her to
go into panic mode and check on her moronic friend but instead, she's facing me and asking
how I am.

"Are you okay?" The sincerity in her voice catches me off guard.
 Without a word, I turn on my heels and flee the Great Hall.

I'm halfway down the corridor when I hear her calling out for me, begging me to wait.
Coming to a halt, I closely listen to the sound of her footsteps as they close in on me.

"I'm sorry about that," she apologizes, my back still turned to her. "I told Harry that it wasn't
your fault and to stay out of it." Her hand finds its way to my shoulder again.

She needs to stop doing that.

If she keeps initiating physical contact or continues to call me by my first name, I'm going to
take it as a sign that she's perfectly fine with me pinning her against the wall and devouring
every inch of her.

Gods do I want to do that right now.

"There you go lying again, Granger," I say as I slowly turn to face her.

"What?"

"Last time I checked, it was entirely my fault that Pansy hurt you." I raise my hand and press
my palm against her cheek, my thumb lightly brushing over the wound.

She jumps slightly and takes a sharp breath in before relaxing under my touch. "It wasn't your
fault, Malfoy," she says quietly.

"Back to Malfoy, huh?"

She says nothing.

"If I hadn't avoided you, then you never would've approached my friends. You never
would've gotten hurt."

She leans her head into my hand. "Then don't avoid me again."

"You're going to be the ruin of me, Granger."

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 14
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

December 13 1995

Granger and I started working together on the research paper again. A saving grace for her,
considering everything she had been composing up to this point has been utter shit. Which is
odd for her, but as of late, Granger has been doing several odd things.

She's continued to stare at me during classes, not in an appalled or disgusted way though,
more like in an... intrigued way. Aside from the unashamed glares, the main thing I can't
seem to get off my mind is the sound of her calling me by my first name. It was only one
time but still, it happened.

I would give my entire inheritance just to hear her say it again.

As for Potter, his outburst last week caused more trouble that I care for. An entire school of
teenagers who possess the ability to do fucking magic and yet they still seem to only care
about gossiping. The entire school had heard about our interaction in less than hour, including
my friends.

When I had returned to the common room that day, I was met by a literal interrogation. Theo
allowed Blaise to believe that he was leading the questioning while Pansy shot silent death
glares my way.

Though I owe them no sort of explanation, I found it far easier to just tell them about the
damn research paper. I did hold up my end of the deal by not bringing up what Pansy had
done to Granger but it apparently Pans had very little belief in me. The second Theo asked
about what had Potter so upset in the first place, Pansy made herself scarce.

I've seen very little of her ever since then. Lately, whenever I enter a room she immediately
flees the area. It's rather childish but I'm not going to force her to stay put.

The sound of whispering coming from the table to our left catches my attention. The second I
look over at the prats, they instantly avert their gaze and stop talking. They're bloody lucky
Granger is here because if she weren't, I'd be showing the various ways in which a person can
maim someone with a quill.

Rolling my eyes, I turn my attention back to the parchment in front of me. I don't need to
look at her to know that Granger is staring at me again. I've felt her eyes burning through me
for the last ten minutes.

"Granger," I hum, still refusing to look at her.

"Hmm?"
"You're staring again."

This time, I do lift my head and steal a quick glance. Her cheeks and neck are flushed as she
clears her throat and shifts in her seat.

"S-sorry," she stammers as she focuses on her book.

"That wasn't me telling you to stop."

She lifts her head, her lips pulling into a soft smile as our eyes meet.

"Have you finished?" she asks.

I nod before sliding the paper over to her. "When it comes to this method, you can't substitute
one singular thing. You have to remove yourself entirely and relocate to a safe place," I tell
her, which earns a confused look from her. "You need to imagine you're somewhere else,
Granger," I explain. "You need to focus on every detail. The way it smells, sounds and so on
and so forth. This new location needs to consume your thoughts entirely. So much that
everything else ceases to exist."

She's looking at me and nodding her head but it's obvious that she didn't hear a word I just
said.

"Does that make sense?" I ask.

"Er-yeah-completely," she lies.

Leaning back, I cross my arms and say, "Explain it to me then."

Granger tries her best to hide her panic but it's written all over her face as she reads over the
paper and furrows her brows.

"Substitute memory and focus on details," she says confidently.

I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop a grin from forming.

"That was wrong, wasn't it?" she asks, her face turning red from embarrassment.

"What's on your mind, Granger?"

"It's nothing important."

"I never said it was, but it's distracting you so why don't you just tell me what it is so we can
resolve it and move on?"

She's silent for a moment but then says, "I need your help."

My brows raise and I lean forward. "I never thought this day would come," I admit. "Alright,
tell me who it is and how much you would like for them to suffer."

"What?" she gasps. "No," she shakes her head. "I don't need you to beat someone up."
"Oh," I say disappointedly.

"I need your help with the potions assignment," Granger explains.

"Oh," I repeat, slumping back into my seat. "That's rather boring."

Grabbing a spare piece of parchment from the table, she crumples it into a ball and throws it
at my face.

"Why is violence always the first thing that comes to your mind, Malfoy?"

"It's not."

"No?"

"No. It's the third."

"What are the first two then?"

I smirk. "Do you really want the answer to that question?"

She gives me a disapproving look before letting out a soft giggle. "Even if it is third on your
list, I still think you need to work on your temper. Violence isn't the answer to everything."

"Yes it is," I retort. "And besides, I'd rather put my energy elsewhere, Granger," I say
suggestively as my eyes scan down her body.

Lowering her head in an attempt to hide her blush, she clears her throat. "So potions," she
says. "Will you help me?"

"I suppose," I shrug. "Meet me in the potions classroom in an hour."

-*-

Snape is the only professor in this entire castle who locks his classroom when he's away.
Apparently he believes that if he leaves it open and unattended then students will help
themselves to his secret stash of herbs and liquor in the back closet of his office.

He's entirely correct.

Theo and I discovered it the beginning of term fourth year and a locked door didn't do a
single thing to keep us out. I swear Snape forgets that we have these things called wands and
were taught an unlocking charm our first year. He's a brilliant professor but a completely daft
human being.

With a quick, alohamora, the door unlocks and I step inside. Entering his office, I scan over
the shelves until I locate one specific book. Taking a seat at his desk, I start flipping through
the pages.

"Malfoy, are you in here?" I hear Granger ask.

"Back here!" I shout.

A minute or two passes before she appears in the doorway. "I'm surprised Professor Snape
gave you permission to go into his office?"

"That would be surprising, if he had done so."

Her eyes double in size and she takes an immediate step back. "You broke into his office?!"

"Broke in is a strong term, Granger. His office door was wide open. The one to the classroom
was locked, so I guess you could say I broke into his classroom but I really don't see a point
in stressing over the details."

"Malfoy I don't think-"

Cutting her off, I say, "Found it!"

"Found, what?"

Flipping the book around, I point to the right page. "Last paragraph."

Hesitantly, she steps into his office and reads over the text. "This is instructions on how to
brew wolfsbane."

I nod my head. "You said you wanted my help with the assignment, didn't you?"

"Yes but I meant with understanding it so I can write the paper, not for you to brew the
bloody thing," she replies.

"It's a good thing I won't be the one brewing it then." Standing up, I snatch the book and
place it back on the shelf.

"You want me to brew it?!" she exclaims.

"Considering we're the only people here and I just said I won't be doing it, yes, I want you to
do it," I state before exiting Snape's office and picking out the necessary ingredients.

"I don't think this is a good idea, Malfoy. Unlike yours, my parents can't afford to pay for any
damages to the school."

"Relax, Granger. I won't let you blow up the school," I chuckle.

Once I've collected everything that we need and have it all nicely laid out on the table, I step
off to the side and motion for her to begin. Granger remains frozen as she stares down at the
empty cauldron.

"You have to place the items inside the cauldron for it to actually do something," I mock.
Her eyes flick up to mine. "Yes, I know, but what if I mess up? Improper brewing of
wolfsbane can be dangerous, lethal even."

"Then don't mess up," I shrug. "Now, start with the powdered silver and then cut up the
aconite root."

When she remains unmoving, I step toward her and say, "You'll be fine, Granger. I'm right
here." Picking up the powdered silver, I place it in her hand and give her a reassuring a
smile.

Letting out a deep breath, she raises her shaky hand and drops the ingredient into the
cauldron. Repositioning myself so that I'm behind her, I watch as she carefully cuts, crushes
and tosses the aconite root. Her hands eventually stop trembling as I walk her through the rest
of the ingredients and I can see her confidence starting to increase.

"Good, now stir," I instruct.

Picking up the wooden spoon, she places it into the cauldron and begins stirring.
Immediately, I reach around and grab her hand to stop her. Her body jolts slightly, causing
her backside to brush against my crotch.

"Slower, Granger," I whisper as I guide her hand in a circle around the cauldron.

"Like this?" she asks.

"Mhm, just like that."

After stirring it seven times clockwise and then seven counter clockwise, I pick up the
valerian root and hand it to her.

"Final step."

She hesitates for a moment before dropping it in. A small crack along with a burst of smoke
erupts from the cauldron which results in Granger letting out a frightened gasp as she spins
around and buries her face in my chest. Her tight grip on me causes my hands to ball into
fists at my side, the pain of my nails digging into my palms being the only thing keeping me
from grabbing her by the hips.

"Did it blow up?" she mumbles into my chest. "What's happening?"

"It's a bit hard to get a proper look while you're holding onto me."

Granger looks up at me and releases my shirt before stepping back and apologizing. The
warmth of her body pressed against mine lingers as I move forward and take a look inside the
cauldron.

"Well?" she says nervously.

"Not bad, Granger."

 Slowly, she approaches the table and stands on her tippy toes to look inside.

"Why is it bubbling like that?"

"I said not bad, I didn't say perfect," I state. "You added too much moonseed."

Her eyes fill with terror as she shuffles backwards.

"Calm down, you didn't add enough to kill us," I reassure her.

Her shoulders relax as she lets out a sigh of relief. As I talk her through the other small
mistakes she made, she pulls her hair up into a ball on top of her head and pokes her wand
through.

Merlin, if only she knew the thoughts that were flooding my mind right now.

"Do you uh," I clear my throat. "Do you understand the wolfsbane potion now?"

She shakes her head. "No, but I think I know enough to at least write the paper."

I nod my head slowly as I shove my hands into my pockets and awkwardly rock back and
forth on my heels.

What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Give her a pat on the shoulder? Offer to help her
write the damn thing? Walk her to her common room? This is far easier when we're in the
library. At least then I can just get up and leave, maybe throw a snide remark or two in, but
this? I mean, why is it so bloody awkward?

It's awkward because I have an overwhelming urge to kiss her.

"I have to go," I blurt out.

"Oh, alright," she glances down at the mess on the table. "I'll just clean this-"

With a casual flick of my wrist, the table is cleaned and everything is back on the shelf where
it's meant to be.

"See you around, Granger."

"Thank you again," I hear her say from behind as I rush out of the classroom.

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 15
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

December 22 1995

Almost every student cleared out of the castle this morning for the holiday. Usually I return
home as well but this year I decided to stay at Hogwarts. I'd much rather enjoy a peaceful
week to myself then go back home and listen to my parents bicker the entire time.

I didn't expect father to fight me on the matter. He's been even more intolerable lately, always
on edge and lashing out. I did expect mother to argue with me though, but to my surprise, she
seemed almost relieved in her letter back after I had informed her that I wouldn't be coming
home for Christmas.

It was odd but I didn't bother looking into it.

Theo tried to convince me to join him and Pansy at Blaise's mother's house but I declined. As
much as I love our tradition of spending Christmas together, I yearned for the time alone.

Well, I thought I yearned for the time alone. If I'm being honest, I'm extremely fucking bored.
I've already rearranged Blaise and Theo's dorm, I hope they enjoy their new yellow sheets
when they return. I've also insulted an impressive total of twenty portraits, made a third year
cry and broke into the kitchen and stole some cookies and it's only midday.

It's official, there isn't shit to do at school when the school part isn't taking place. Perhaps I
should have gone home after all, or at least joined my friends.

I must be really desperate for something to do considering I'm now finding myself in the
library. Making my way up and down the aisles, I scan over each title until I manage to spot
one that sounds even the least bit interesting.

"If We Never Met," Granger says quietly. "A rather odd choice in literature for you."

Snapping the romance book shut, I shove it back onto the shelf. "Granger, of course you
would be spending your holiday in the library."

"Am I that predictable, Malfoy?" she places a hand on her chest, pretending to be offended. "I
have to say, I'm surprised you're here."

"In the library or school in general?"

"Both but more so the latter," she says as she makes her way out of the aisle and into the next.

"I could say the same to you," I reply as I trail behind her, my eyes fixed on her backside as
she bends over and picks out a book. "Isn't Christmas a cherished holiday for Muggles?"
She stands and faces me. Any other man would've tried to hide the fact that they were just
staring at her arse, but not me. Granger deserves to know that a man appreciates the curves of
her body. She didn't seem to mind, I'd almost go as far to say that she was flattered,
considering the smirk she gave me once she noticed.

"It is," she says, referring to my statement about Christmas. "My min and dad are traveling
this year for it."

"Didn't care to join them?"

"I'm not a massive fan of cruises."

"Cruises?"

"It's a massive ship with a bunch of rooms on it," she explains.

My face contorts with disgust. "Sounds dreadful, no wonder you opted out."

Granger continues to explore five more aisles, picking out a handful of books along the way.
Somehow I've ended up carrying them for her which I'll allow since she's allowing me to
proceed with my important task of appreciating every inch of her body.

Once she has what she deems to be an acceptable amount of books, she makes her way over
to our usual spot and sits down. Placing the stack of books on the table, I slump down into
the seat beside her.

"Since you're here, perhaps we could work on finishing the research paper?" she suggests.

"Granger," I groan. "Have you ever taken a break from school work and did something fun?"

She holds her chin between her pointer finger and thumb and cocks her head. "Fun? I don't
think I've ever heard of that."

Even though her words are dripping in sarcasm, I know there's some validity to her words.
I've never once seen this witch do anything other than chase scarhead and weaslebee around
or stuff her nose into a book. It's depressing to think about.

"Come with me," I say as I grab her hand and drag her out of the library.

Once we find ourselves just outside of the transfiguration classroom, I turn to face the portrait
hanging on the wall and gesture towards it.

"Tell him to go fuck himself," I instruct.

Granger's eyes grow wide. "What?" she exclaims. "Why in Merlin's name would I do that?"

"Because you have the ability to do so," I simple state.

She remains quiet.

"Come on, Granger," I groan. "Loosen up. Besides, there's a high chance he won't even hear
you."

Her eyes skip over to the portrait and then back to me, her hands placed firmly on her hips.

"If I do this, then you have to do something for me," she states.

My eyebrow raises. "I didn't realize we were negotiating."

"Well, you do now. Do we have a deal?"

What's the worst that can happen? Granger isn't the type to come up with something that
would be too painfully embarrassing. She will probably just make me go back to the library
with her and finish our research paper. Not exactly my ideal way to spend my day but
considering I have nothing else to do and this would provide me with a chance to spend more
time with her I see no harm in agreeing.

"Very well," I nod.

"We have a deal?"

"Yes, Granger, we have a deal."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

She gives me a skeptical look.

My head cocks. "What? Do you want me to make an unbreakable vow or some shit?"

"Would you?" she questions.

"Depends," I shrug.

"On what?"

"My mood."

"What does that have to do with–"

"Granger," I interject. "Can you just get on with insulting the damn portrait already?"

She rolls her eyes at me before facing the portrait. Clearing her throat, she says, "Go fuck
yourself," in the most polite tone.

It takes everything in me to not burst into laughter. Never in my life have I ever heard
someone say those words like that. It sounded more like a suggestion when falling from her
lips, but nonetheless, it was extremely satisfying to hear her say it.
"There, are you happy?" she asks but before I can respond, a grumbling noise comes from the
portrait.

"Watch your language little girl," the man scolds.

Granger's face turns a bright shade of red. "I'm so sorry," she immediately apologized. "I
didn't mean it–I shouldn't have–"

"You children seem to get worse each year," he scoffs. "No wonder you're hanging around
that detestable Slytherin boy." He snarls in my direction.

"I really didn't mean it," Granger says.

Grabbing her hand once again, I flip the man off and say, "Always a terrible time seeing you
Greg," before walking off with Granger.

"My name is Geoffrey!" he yells.

"I really don't care!" I shout back as I raise my middle finger.

As soon as we round the corner, Granger smacks my arm. "You said he wouldn't hear me!"

"I said there was a high chance he wouldn't hear you," I correct. "That old sod usually sleeps
through everything."

She gives me her famous disapproving look for a moment before bringing up my end of the
deal.

"Yeah, yeah." I wave my hand. "We can go work on the bloody paper now."

Granger shakes her head. "That's not what I'm having you do."

Before I can question anything, she drags me down the corridor.

I could get used to this whole hand holding thing.

Coming to a stop, Granger takes out her wand and conjures a jacket and scarf for both of us.

"I'm not cold," I say as I inspect the outerwear.

"You will be when we're outside."

"Outside? What are we doing? Making a snowman?" I mock.

"You'll see," she grins.

I already don't like this.

-*-
After what felt like hours of trucking through snow, we end up in Hogsmeade. The street is
packed with people, smiles on each of their faces as they exit and enter stores with presents
stacked in their arms.

I think I might throw up.

To our left is a small group of elderly witches standing in a line as they sing some traditional
Christmas songs. Granger approaches the women and placed some money in their jar. As I
wait for her, I feel someone bump into me. My first instinct is to punch the person in their
face but when I look to my right I see that a young boy and retract my hand.

I've never been to Hogsmeade during this time of the year. It's even more nauseating than I
thought it would be.

"This is a cruel form of torture, Granger," I drawl when she rejoins me.

"We're only getting started, Malfoy." Her lips pull into a devious smile as she glances over at
the Three Broomsticks. "Considering the surplus of people who are here shopping, I would
say it's bound to be packed with inebriated and highly irritating individuals. I want you to
join me for a drink."

"A drink? That's it?"

She shakes her head.

"What are the rules, Granger?"

"You can't say a single snide remark to me or anyone else."

"Fine."

"And no matter what, you can not lose your cool. Which means, even if someone spills their
drink on you, you have to control your anger and not react."

"Longbottom has a better chance at making the quidditch time," I scoff.

"Don't be so pessimistic," she says.

"I'm not, I'm being realistic."

Refusing to acknowledge the fact that this is a horrible idea, Granger pulls me into the pub.
The second we step inside, someone crashes into my shoulder and spills half of their
butterbeer on my jacket. The man's slurred apology is abruptly cut off when I throw him up
against the wall.

"What's your problem mate?" he asks, his breath reeking of alcohol.

"You are. you fuckwit!"

"Malfoy!" Granger shouts as she attempts to pull me away but my feet remain cemented in
place.

"I hope you enjoy drinking out of a straw because when I'm done with you, that's the only
way you'll be able to consume anything," I seethe as I wrap my hand around the man's throat.

His face is turning blue due to a lack of oxygen and I can see his eyes beginning to roll back
when suddenly, I hear the only thing that has ever been able to calm me down.

My name.

Her saying my name.

"Draco."

If her voice were a drug, I'd inject it directly into my veins.

"Let him go," she says firmly.

Removing my hand from his neck, the man stumbles forward. Shoving him to the side, he
crashes into a nearby table and apologizes through coughs as he tries to draw in a breath.

"Tsk tsk, Malfoy," Granger tuts. "You broke one of my stipulations in under a minute."

"I let him go, didn't I?"

"You did, which I guess counts for something. Come on, there's an empty table over there."

I'm disappointed when she chooses to sit in the seat on the opposite side of the table rather
than the one next to me but I guess I did almost just choke a man out in front of her. Probably
not the best way to start off a date.

Wait.

Is this a date?

Do I want it to be a date?

I don't think I want it to be a date.

I don't do dates.

But it's Granger, and her cheeks are that perfect rose shade and the lights in this building
highlight the golden flakes in her eyes.

Maybe I do want this to be a date.

"What are we having?" an elderly gentleman asks.

"One butterbeer and a..." Granger looks over at me.

"A firewhiskey," I answer.

The man nods before walking off.

The volume in this room is so loud I can already feel myself getting a migraine. There's men
slurring every other word as they shout behind us, a couple arguing at the table to our left and
a man who apparently feels the need to brush his unhygienic body against me every time he
passes by.

I'm going to lose it.

The muscle in my jaw tenses and my hand grips onto the side of the wooden table as I
evaluate the items within my reach that I could use to permanently silence everyone in this
detestable place.

Fork - straight to the trachea for the man who has never heard of personal space.

Cup - break it over the bald man's head who is at the table behind us and then force one of the
glass shards down his friend's throat.

Granger's scarf - easy. Wrap it around the man's neck who is at the table to our left. Based on
what I've heard, it sounds like the woman sitting across from him caught him cheating.
Maybe she'd thank me for disposing of him. That would be nice.

Wooden chair - break off one of the legs and–

"Are you okay?" Granger asks, interrupting my train of thought.

I watch as the man from earlier returns to our table and places our drinks down.

"Having the time of my life, Granger," I groan before taking a sip of the liquor.

My eye twitches when another drunk individual bumps into me. I'm just about to get up from
my chair and begin making my way down the list I had curated earlier when all of a sudden I
feel something press against my ankle. Looking under the table, I see that it's Granger's foot.

"I'm redirecting your attention," she explains. "I read that parents often calm their children
down with physical touch whenever they're overstimulated."

"Did you just compare feeling my leg up with your foot to a parent calming their child?" I
ask. "What's next, Granger? Want me to call you mum?"

"Not in public," she smirks into her glass.

Fucking hell.

As my agitation becomes more and more apparent with each passing minute, Granger
continues to list off more "coping" mechanisms for me to try. Deep breaths, distractions,
grounding, the list seemed to be never ending. All methods seem rather useless when
compared to my personal favorite - her saying my name and rubbing her foot against me.
Once both of our drinks are finished, I offer to get us another round. Granger took it is a kind
gesture but the reality was, I needed a break from her feeling me up under the table. Don't get
me wrong, I highly enjoyed it, but I only have a certain amount of self control.

Now at the bar, I lean against the counter and wait for the younger woman behind the bar to
return with our new drinks. As I'm doing so, I take this time to steal a glance at Granger.

I've always found it fascinating to observe people when they think no one is watching, you
learn a lot about someone this way. For example, every time she spots a couple, Granger's
eyes light up and she can't help but smile. And whenever she's in a situation where she's
unsure of what to do, she either plays with the ends of her hair or tugs at her sleeve to try and
look busy.

From my brief analysis of her in this moment, I've come to the conclusion that Granger is the
embodiment of perfection and far too good for me.

"Your drinks, sir," the woman says, earning my attention.

I give her a curt nod and just as I'm about to accept the glasses from her, out of the corner of
my eye I see a man approaching Granger. Once I shift my focus to them, it becomes evident
that she's extremely uncomfortable.

Breathe, I remind myself.

Inhale.

Exhale.

The man steps closer to her.

Ground yourself, list four things you can touch.

1. glass cup

2. sleeve of my shirt

3. wooden counter top to my right

4. his neck in my hand.

List four things I can see.

1. portrait on the wall

2. man passed out on the floor to my left

3. plastic tray

4. his fucking hand on her shoulder.

Within two long strides, I close the gap between us, grab him by the shoulder and turn him
around.

"I think it's best you fuck off now," I state, trying my best to control the anger building within
me.

"Oh yeah?" he lets out a mocking laugh. "Make me, pretty boy."

Well, he did ask.

Instantly, I swing my arm around and connect my fist with the side of his jaw, causing him to
stumble backwards. He quickly regains his balance and sloppily throws a punch at me, but
misses entirely. He attempts to punch me again but this time I kick in his knee and grab the
plate from the table beside me and break it over his head before punching him in the face, a
cracking sound informing me that I've successfully broken something in that dreadful face of
his.

With him now on the ground, blood gushing from his face in various areas, I press my foot
down on his chest and say, "Touch her again and I'll fucking kill you."

"Okay, okay," he says frantically, his hands raised in surrender. I kick him in the side, just for
the fun of it, and then look up to find Granger but her seat his empty.

fuck.

-*-

"Granger," I call out as I follow her into the castle.

She doesn't respond.

"Dammit, Granger," I say as I rush forward and grab her by the arm to stop her.

"Let go of me, Malfoy," she hisses, yanking her arm away.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"You are!"

"And what exactly have I ruined this time?" I ask.

"Everything," she throws her arms in the air. "We were having a good time and then you just
had to go and ruin it by beating that man up."

"He technically asked me to," I reply.

"I don't care," she bites out. "You chose to do it. I managed to look past what you did to Jason
and Owen because after our talk at the lake I thought that I saw some sort of redeeming
quality in you but-"
"I have never once sought out redemption, Granger," I interject. "And I never will."

"Why not?!"

"Because that would mean that I felt some sort of regret for my actions."

She lets out an aggravated groan. "You're loathsome, Malfoy," she snarls as she takes a step
toward me.

"I'm fully aware," I reply as I do the same.

"Barbaric," she adds.

"Clearly."

She advances another step forward and so do I.

"Arrogant."

"As I should be," I smirk.

"Manipulative," Granger continues.

"If needed."

We're now stood so close to one another that I can feel the heat from her breath as she says, "I
should hate you."

"That would be wise."

I watch intently as she licks her lips. Gods I want to kiss her, to taste her and feel her body
pressed up against mine. I want to make every single fantasy that has ever crossed my mind
become reality and I want to make her moan my name and beg me not to stop as she digs her
nails into my back.

"Why did you do it?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper. "You were doing fine."

"He touched you," I simply state.

"So?"

"So," I say as I take one final step into her. "I don't like people touching things that are mine."

She sharply inhales at my confession, her eyes doubling in size as she stares up at me. This is
the first time I have ever seen Granger at a loss for words.

"I-" she chokes out. "It's late, I should get to bed," she stutters before turning on her heels and
disappearing down the corridor.
Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 16
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

December 24 1995

Yesterday and today have primarily consisted of me wandering the school, I even found
myself chatting with Myrtle in the girls lavatory. When she's not crying or screaming she's
actually not too bad to be around. Granger has actively avoided me since our previous
engagement but I figured that would happen. The other students who are still at school are
gathering in the great hall for some Christmas celebration meal, you couldn't pay me enough
to join in on that.

I'm laying on a bench in the oxford corridor, bantering back and forth with one of the
portraits. "You've really got to stop giving Dodderidge food Giffard, she's one scone away
from not fitting in her frame." I say, tossing my apple up into the air.

"The bloody woman has been pregnant for centuries. It would do you good to find some
decency in that cold-shriveled heart of yours Mr. Malfoy." He says. "Especially if you wish to
win over a young lady like her."

I raise a brow as I follow his line of sight, tilting my head back to see an upside down
Granger marching her way towards me. "We need to talk Malfoy."

I reposition myself so that I'm no longer laying but instead sitting on the bench, gesturing for
her to continue on.

"Right." She huffs, now standing in front of me. "You can't go around punching every guy
who looks my way, in fact you can't just go around punching people in general, it needs to
stop." I go to speak but she holds her hand up to stop me. "If, whatever this is between us, is
to continue you need to learn some self control."

"I have perfect control over myself Granger." I argue to which she practically laughs in my
face. "Is that so? Dare I bring up Victor Daniels? I believe you broke his knee."

"He had his wand dug into Theo's neck." I shrug.

"What about Jason and Owen?"

"They tampered with a bludger that ended up costing me a few days in the infirmary."

"Jason's hand was mutilated far before then." She says.

"He laid his hands on Pansy."

"Fine. Then what about Andrew Clevely, he was sent to the hospital wing with a broken rib."
"He was just annoying." I admit.

"This is what I'm talking about Malfoy! You have no control over your impulses and always
have to even the score with revenge." She snipes.

"You call it revenge I call it returning the favor." I say, standing up from the bench. "As for
the guy at the three broomsticks, you can't possibly tell me that he wasn't crossing the
line." "That's not the point." She says, shaking her head. "Then what is the point, Granger?"

Neither of us move a muscle as she stares up at me, the corridor is quiet enough to where I
can hear her take a sharp breath. "The point is," She pants. "I can't be with someone who
turns to violence for everything."

Be with someone? My head tilts, unsure if I'm understanding her correctly. "Not even just as
friends." She adds, thankfully clarifying for me before I do anything stupid.

"And what if I don't want to be friends Granger?" A small smile tugs at the corner of her
mouth before speaking. "Then you'll miss out on all of the festive activities I have planned
for us this evening."

I'm not one for festivities but I am one for spending time with her, even if we are just friends..
for now.

She reaches into the small bag hanging from her shoulder and pulls out a red triangular
shaped hat and a god awful jumper, a wide smile on her face as she holds them in front of
me.

"Absolutely fucking not." I scoff. "You will put this hat and jumper on and you will join me
while we partake in various holiday activities and not a single complaint will escape your
mouth." She orders, shoving the items into my chest.

"Strike the outfit and the complaint part from your list of commands and I might be open to
it." I say.

"You wear the jumper and you get 5 complaints." She offers.

"10."

"8."

"Deal." I smirk. "But I'm covering this monstrosity with a coat."

**

As we're stepping out of the fireplace, I pat the dust from my coat and pull it tightly shut to
cover the massive tree embroidered on the front of my jumper. I look around the building to
try and get an idea of where this witch has dragged me to. I couldn't understand a single word
she said when she threw the floo powder down as I was too focused on how scratchy the
fabric of the jumper was against my skin.
I follow her outside and colorful lights lining each building brighten the dark sky. There's a
massive tree in front of one of the buildings, baubles and tinsel covering every inch of it.
There are a few stands posted along the street and a fenced off area that is covered in ice.
Based off of all of these details I think it's safe to say we are surrounded by muggles.

Looking over at Granger, I watch as her eyes light up as she takes in the scenery. I should
have figured she'd enjoy things like this. The look on her face is similar to the one I'm
guessing was on mine when I first saw the nimbus 2001.

Her body shivers as a slight breeze hits us, I told her it would be wise to grab a scarf. I
remove my own and place it around her neck. She smiles and thanks me before guiding us
over to the tree. Her head leans back as she takes it in, the damn thing easily stands at 24
meters.

"My mum and dad used to always take me to town during this time growing up, there was a
tree just like this one there." She tells me. "I remember seeing it for the first time as a little
girl and thinking about how beautiful it looked, the lights glistening and the red and green
tinsel perfectly weaved through the branches. It was the most magical thing I had ever seen."

We begin walking towards the fenced area as she continues talking. "My dad took me ice
skating, I remember falling every few seconds despite him holding onto my hands. When we
got off the ice I remember being so disappointed in myself for failing. My dad walked off and
later returned with a cup of hot chocolate and told me that trying is not the same as failing.
He told me that it's important to focus on what I did do rather than what I didn't. It was such a
simple saying but has always stuck with me, you know?"

When she looks up at me I find that I have no response for her. If there was a spectrum on
parenting her parents and mine would be on complete opposite ends. My childhood wasn't
terrible, I know that I had it better than others but there was a major lack of compassion. My
mother did her best to show her love for me but my father spent most of his time molding me
to be the perfect Malfoy heir.

As for failure, I'm often reminded by him of whenever I am one. My first quidditch game
against Potter I fell from my broom, when he found me afterwards he lectured me for nearly
an hour on how embarrassing it was for him to watch his son fail at yet another thing.

During the time when parents are most likely building up their child's confidence he was
breaking mine down, finding my weak spots. Words of encouragement were replaced by
threats. Hugs were never a thing instead a harsh pat on the back in rare occurrences. Hagrid
will become headmaster before I ever hear my father say that he is proud of me.

I look away from her and turn my attention to the people in front of us, there's odd shaped
boots on their feet with what appears to be blades on the bottom. I'm assuming this is the ice
skating activity Granger had mentioned she'd done with her father.

"Have you ever done it before?" She asks.

"Do I really need to answer that Granger?"

I continue watching as people awkwardly walk on top of the ice, children falling every few
steps. When I look to my side I see that Granger has disappeared. Scanning the faces around
me I spot hers, two pairs of the weird boots in her hands.

"I am not doing that." I tell her as she approaches.

"I paid 12 pounds each for these, you will be putting them on." She says, handing it to me.

"I'll pay you triple to return them right now."

She grabs me by the sleeve of my coat, drags me over to a nearby bench and begins kicking
off her shoes. Once she has, what she referred to as, skates on her feet she begins pulling at
the laces of my shoes. I attempt to swat her hands away but she smacks the back of mine, my
skin instantly turning red.

"Some would classify that as abuse Granger." I say, rubbing the back of my hand.

Both of my shoes are now off and as she attempts to put the skate onto my foot I jerk my leg
around to make it as difficult for her as possible. "If you don't stop moving I will stupefy you
Malfoy." She threatens.

I lower my leg and cross my arms as she shoves my feet into them, once she begins pulling at
the laces I wave her off. "I know how to tie my own bloody shoe." Perhaps if I take a really
long time tying these stupid things she'll grow irritated and call the entire thing off.

"We have all night." She smirks, seeing right through me.

Rolling my eyes I finish tying both and stand up, my body swaying as I try to regain my
balance. Granger holds out her hand for me and as much as my pride wants to do this all on
my own, the idea of holding onto her wins. Taking her hand, we slowly make our way over to
the ice.

I watch as she effortlessly steps on and moves over to the side for me to do the same.
Carefully, I place my left foot onto the surface and instantly slip. Her hand tightens around
mine as I steady myself before bringing my right foot forward. Now on the ice, several
people flying by us, I stand frozen in place.

"It's just like roller skating." She tells me.

"Granger, I have no idea what the fuck that is."

She lets out a small giggle as she glides forward, pulling me along. My knees buckle as we
make our way around the area, my free hand out to the side to help balance myself. "Try to
keep your torso straight and just slide your feet." She instructs.

Straightening my posture, I slowly push back my right foot and then left. I'm still a bit
wobbly but it's already far better than I was doing before. "There you go!" She cheers.
"You're getting it."
As we're gliding across the ice, a small child squeezes between us, bumping into Granger's
leg. She loses her balance for a moment and I'm not even sure how but I manage to turn in
front of her and grab her.

We're now standing in the middle of the ice, my right hand on her waist, my left still
intertwined with hers and her free hand gripping onto the lapel of my coat.

Her eyes glisten as she looks up at me, the lights hanging above us causing the hint of yellow,
almost gold-like, flakes in her eyes to become more prominent. Her smile is barely peeking
out from under my scarf that is wrapped around her neck and her curls dance behind her as
the wind blows through.

The tip of her nose and cheeks a bright shade of red from the cold air but in my head I'd like
to think that it's due to her being just as flustered as I am right now.

In this moment, muggles skating all around us, I picture our future. One where every year on
Christmas eve we visit town, admire the lights and trees, her hand clutching onto mine as I
miserably fail at ice skating. I'll be dressed in whatever hideous jumper she's picked out for
me that year and she'll sport my slytherin scarf because despite all odds we fell in love.

The sound of her clearing her throat pulls me out of my fantasy. "We should probably get
back to school before it gets too late." She says, releasing her grip on my coat.

After returning the skates we head back to the shop down the street and go into the back
room where the floo is. Granger grabs a handful of floo powder and mutters "Hog's head."
Before throwing it down, green flames engulfing us.

We enter the castle just as the clock strikes midnight, informing us that a new day has begun.
It's silent between the both of us as we walk down the corridor. Reaching the stairs to the
Gryffindor tower she stops and turns to me.

"Thank you for joining me tonight." She tells me.

"You didn't give me much of a choice." I joke, causing her to smile.

"Right, well I will see you in the morning then."

She begins walking up the stairs and my mind floods with all of the things I want to tell her.
"You looked beautiful tonight." "Drag me into any activity you want." "I don't want to be your
friend, I want to be your everything."

But instead I settle for. "Happy Christmas Granger." She looks back over her shoulder and
smiles. "Happy Christmas Malfoy."
Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 17
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

December 25 1995

"And then I just said ‘Happy Christmas Granger’, when did I become such a prat?" I groan.

Myrtle’s hand hovers above my knee. In her mind, she’s offering a comforting touch and for
some reason, I don’t have it in me to tell her that I can’t feel it. Sometimes I think she
genuinely forgets that she’s dead.

“If things don’t work between the two of you, you know I will always be here,” she smiles as
she bats her eyes at me.

“Er–thanks, Myrtle. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” Standing, I offer her a quick goodbye
before exiting the lavatory.

As I stroll the corridors, Granger’s gift in hand, I continue to try and process everything that
happened last night. Granger has always occupied a space in my mind, whether it involved
beating her in academics or in more…. explicit ways. But it was always something I could
shut off. That I could escape from. But now, all I can think about is her.

I think I’d be okay with it if the thoughts primarily consisted of her barely clothed because at
least then I could blame it on teenage hormones but no. Instead, I’m sitting here thinking
about how much I want to hold her. I want to be the one who she can count on to protect her,
to make her laugh and also be there to comfort her when she’s sad.

I’ve always laughed at the idea of love. It always seemed like such an idiotic fantasy and
dating in general was never something I entertained. I never saw a point in granting someone
the ability to hurt you.

Shagging a girl a few times and never speaking to them again has always been the ideal
route. The smart way to go about things. No strings. No emotions. No responsibility. No
chance of getting hurt.

Granger has always been an object of desire for me sexually. I mean, I’d have to be bloody
blind for her not to be. But at some point over the past few months she has managed to turn
me soft and no, that’s not a dick joke. I mean soft emotionally. As in, I have emotions… for
her.

Previously if Granger snuck her way into my mind at night I would be fantasizing about
burying my face between her breasts but now I just think about how nice it would be to lay in
bed together, both fully clothed with my arm around her or her head on my lap as we read our
books. I mean honestly, what the fuck is that about?
In what possible world could her and I possibly work? We don’t make sense together. She has
and always will be destined for greatness and I… well, everyone knows what I’m destined
for.

Granger is too good for me. She may have the nauseating tendency of always looking for the
good in everyone, regardless if there’s none to be found, but that doesn’t make her blind to
someone’s true character. All I will ever be is the damaged kid who comes from a fucked up
family that will, inevitably, become the villain in her and her friend’s lives.

She might be okay with befriending me but I know that romantic feelings will never be on
the table. I guess I’ll take it though- being friends. It feels like I’m swallowing an entire
bottle of acid when she refers to me as such but if it means I get to have her in my life, then
I’ll happily endure the pain.

While I was lost in my own head I must’ve made my way to the library which also means, I
made my way to her. As usual, she has her nose buried in a book. I can feel sweat form on
my palms as I take a deep breath and begin making my way towards her.

“Granger,” I say as I close in. “I have something for-what the fuck is that ghastly creature?!”
My eyes dart over to the ginger haired beast sitting on the table.

She looks over at the animal and then back up at me. “My cat,” she says. “Crookshanks.”

"That is no cat. It looks like it swallowed a cat and attempted to take its form but failed
miserably."

The furry gremlin leaps off the table and strides over to me, rubbing its odd face against my
leg. I try to shoo it away with my foot but it remains attached.

"He won't hurt you,” she giggles.

A deep, almost threatening sounding meow escapes its small mouth. "Are you sure about
that?” I ask. “I don't speak demon but that certainly didn't sound like a friendly hello."

She rolls her eyes at me as she laughs and bends down to pick him up. "There, better?"

"Immensely."

"Was there something that you needed, Malfoy?"

"Yes-no-er, I just wanted to give you this." I hold out the present for her.

She places her ‘cat’ back down on the table and takes the present. As she pulls back the
wrapping paper, the item is revealed. Granger lets out a small gasp as she removes the
remaining wrapping and her entire face lights up.

“The second Undesirables,” she says as her hand glides over the cover.

"Open it," I instruct.

The front cover is barely lifted before she snaps it shut. "I can't accept this, it's too much."

She tries to hand it back to me but I gently push it back towards her. "You have to,” I say.
“Unless there's another witch with the exact same name as you, this isn’t something I can re-
gift."

Opening it again, her eyes scan over the inscription on the inside. I've had this copy sitting in
my dorm for about 2 months now. After our conversation on Halloween I sent a letter, and a
couple hundred galleons, to Gainsworth. About a week later I received a second copy with a
personalized note for her written on the first page.

"Thank you, Malfoy, truly,” she says. "I actually have something for you as well." Reaching
into her bag, she pulls out a small box and hands it to me. As I’m removing the lid she says,
“Now you have no excuse for being late.”

Her statement makes sense once the item is revealed to me- a watch. Taking a step towards
me, she removes the watch and places it on my wrist. As she messes with the clasp, her
fingers brush against my skin which causes my heart rate to spike.

“Do you like it?” she asks as she stares up at me, our faces only a few inches from one
another.

“It’s perfect,” I reply, not referring to the watch.

Her cheeks flush and she lightly pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. I’m keenly aware of
her hand still on my arm. My skin is burning under her touch and all I want at this moment is
to press my lips onto hers. To wrap my arms around her and feel her body against mine. And
the way she’s looking at me. Gods. It’s like she’s begging me to throw away all of my
common sense and just take what I want.

To take her.

“Was there anything else you needed, Malfoy?” she asks me and those words combined with
the look in her eyes is enough to send me over the edge.

Screw being friends.

My right hand quickly finds its way to her waist, my left grabbing her cheek as I pull her into
me. The second our lips touch she pushes against my chest and pulls back.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Granger, I'm-" I start to say but before I can finish the sentence she throws her arms around
neck. It feels like time stopped when her lips meet mine again. For a moment, I’m frozen.
Too stunned by her actions, but the feeling of her hand raking through my hair snaps me out
of the daze.

My fingers dig into her skin as I press our bodies closer together. I can feel her heart beating
against my chest as our tongues dance around one another. I haven't a clue if the other
students in the library are watching us but I couldn't care less. I'm too focused on how soft
 her lips feel against mine and how the taste and smell of her invades all of my senses. The
longer she stays pressed against me the more I need, she's like my own personal drug.

I reach down and wrap my hands around her thighs, picking her up and placing her back
down on the table. Her hands tug at the collar of my shirt as I press myself in-between her
legs, a small moan escaping her mouth. My mouth trails along the side of her neck, leaving
small bite marks as I make my way down to her clavicle.

"Draco," she pants, causing my cock to twitch against her.

"Say it again," I command, pulling the skin of her breast between my teeth.

"Draco," she moans once more, her legs wrapping around my torso.

My fingers are curling around the side of her knickers when there's a loud crash, causing both
of our heads to snap to the side. Her stack of books now lay on the ground, her cat sat at the
edge of the table as he stares at us.

I rest my forehead on her shoulder for a moment while I catch my breath. "I'm going to
murder your cat Granger."

She smacks my chest playfully. "You will do no such thing!" Stepping back, I help her off the
table before readjusting my shirt. She straightens her own and pats down her skirt. Her lips
are red and swollen and certain spots on her neck are already beginning to bruise. She pulls
her hair up into a messy ball on top of her head, stabbing her wand through to hold its place
like she always does.

"Since you're here, perhaps we could do some work on our research paper?" she suggests,
taking a seat.

"I'd much prefer to work on something else." I say, walking behind her and leaning my head
down, kissing her neck.

"We need to focus, the paper is due soon and we barely have any of it written."

"I can multitask." I hum against her skin.

"Draco." She giggles, looking up at me.

"Alright, alright." I groan, taking the seat beside her. "Let's get this bloody thing over with."

Chapter End Notes

Gainsworth books is directly inspired by the rights and wrongs series by lovesbitca8 and
will be a reoccurring thing throughout the fic.
edited
 Chapter 18
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

December 26 1995

Let's get one thing straight, I don't date. I don't ask girls to be my girlfriend and I certainly
don't allow them to have any sort of claim over me.

I don't hold hands — unless it's Granger's.

I don't buy presents for girls — except for Granger.

I don't like my hair being touched — unless it's Granger.

And I certainly don't wear red — unless Granger asks it of me.

"It looks perfect!" she exclaims as she claps her hands together. The white fluffy ball
continues to fall against my forehead no matter how many times I shove it to the side.

"I feel like a prat," I groan, my scalp already becoming itchy from the hat.

Ignoring my complaint, she positions my body in front of the tree and holds up her camera.
"Smile!"

My mouth remains in a straight line and my arms crossed over my chest to show my
displeasure. As she lowers the camera from her eye, surely about to curse me out for being so
difficult, her vile cat rubs against my ankle a few times before sitting down and staring up at
me.

“The fuck are you looking at?” I snarl. The stupid thing doesn’t even blink. Its face just
remains in an angry frown as per usual.

“Crookshanks,” Granger chimes, clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth to gain his
attention. “Over here!” Once she catches his attention, a bright flash is produced by her
camera which nearly blinds me.

Slowly, the film slides out from the bottom. Tugging at the film, she lightly waves it in the air
as she walks over to me. Now positioned in front of me, with her back to my chest, I grab her
shoulders and pull her closer to me so I can rest my chin on the top of her head as we watch
the photo develop.

“Not that’s a Christmas card,” she proudly says. As Granger goes on about how the
ridiculous hat that’s still on my head really pulls the entire photo together, I find myself
praying to Godric that this doesn’t become a regular occurrence.
Is she going to want to continue to dress me up like I’m some doll so that she can take a
photo and send it off to her friends and family every holiday? Will there be an absurd hat for
each one as well? If so, I truly hope they’re made of better quality next time. Will she ever
join me in the photos? Perhaps she could sit on my lap for the next one and my hand can rest
on her thigh as she wraps her arms around my shoulders. I think I would like that and it
would certainly make me less irritable. If she’s set on making me look like a complete dolt,
the least she can do is be in the bloody thing with me.

Perhaps dating isn’t as bad as I once thought it was, but only if the person I’m dating is
Granger.

December 27 1995

Today’s activities have involved Granger introducing me to the Muggle “delight” known as
eggnog. It’s as revolting as the name sounds. She, however, seems quite keen on it-one of her
few flaws.

Another one of her few flaws is the fact that she is completely incapable of keeping her hands
to herself. Usually I wouldn’t mind that trait but last night she discovered the only ticklish
spot on my entire body and has taken it upon herself to abuse it every chance she gets.

I’m grabbing a book for her? She tickles me. I’m eating my lunch? She tickles me. Even
when I’m fighting with her bloody cat she tickles me. Usually I would find such childish
behavior irritating but unfortunately for me, I’ve grown fond of the act. Not only does it
involve her touching me but it has also provided me with a few opportunities.

Earlier this morning she was on my bed and saw an opportunity to tickle me and instead of
playfully swatting her hands away, I gathered her wrists in one hand and pinned them above
her head. I could’ve done whatever I wanted to her at that moment and there were a lot of
things I would’ve liked to, especially once she wrapped her legs around me, but to both of
our surprise, I didn’t. Well, I teased her a little bit but that’s it.

Granger isn’t some random slag that I pulled into my dorm because I was horny. If I’m going
to do this, I’m going to do it right.

She's Hermione fucking Granger for Merlin's sake, she deserves to be properly courted.

December 28 1995

I gave her flowers today. Peonies, if we’re being specific. She had mentioned they were her
favorite in third year during Herbology. She went on this whole tangent about how they’re
linked to healing and goodwill, or some shit like that.

It was a proper pain in the ass to get them though. The winter season isn’t exactly prime time
for them so it ended up taking a few long nights worth of floo calls to Asia and a decent
amount of galleons to get them here but the look on her face when she saw them made it all
worth it.

“What are these for?” she asks.

“For you, obviously?”

"No-I know that,” she giggles. “I asked what they’re for, not who. Is there an occasion that
I’m unaware of?”

"Must there be one for me to give you something?”

"I guess not, but I haven't got anything for you," she frowns.

“Granger,” I say, cupping her cheek. “I don’t give you things with the expectation of
something in return. I got these for you because I wanted to. Besides, that look on your face
is a gift in itself.”

Her cheeks flush, the corner of her eyes wrinkling slightly as she smiles up at me.

"Yup,” I smile. “That one right there."

December 29 1995

We talked about her family today. She explained their jobs to me but I still haven't a clue as
to the meaning behind their occupation.

She told me about her childhood, the family trips they would take together and how
sometimes she wished she had a sibling but did enjoy having them all to herself (Of course
she immediately felt guilty afterwards for saying so).

As expected, her parents' approval in who she is with means a great deal to her but if it was
the right person, she wouldn't let their feelings dictate.

Note to self: attempt to be less of a tosser when meeting Granger's parents.

December 30 1995

I let her have the last cookie, that earns more points than the flowers right?

December 31 1995

"Granger," I whisper, lightly shaking her shoulder. She rubs her eyes before slowly opening
them, her small body curled up against me on the bench.
 "Hmm?"

Carefully, I move her off of me, stand up and hold my hand out for her. "I want to show you
something.”

Guiding her through the castle, we make our way up to the astronomy tower. It’s nearly
midnight, the only light coming from the moon and stars dusted across the night sky.

“Over here,” I say, positioning her on the north side. Her hands are gripping onto the railing
as she looks out and I position myself next to her. “Should be any second now,” I tell her as I
glance down at my watch.

Just as the clock strikes midnight, a high pitched whistle comes from below. A few seconds
later a small spark flies up into the sky and a collection of various colors explode, painting
the dark night. Her mouth opens slightly in awe as she watches the fireworks go off one by
one.

“I didn’t know Hogwarts does fireworks for New Years,” she says.

“They don’t,” I reply. Her eyes shift over to me, her eyebrows pulled together as she gives me
a confused look. “You had mentioned that your parents would take you to go watch them and
since you couldn’t go to them this year, I figured I would bring them to you. It’s good to
know that fourth years aren’t completely incompetent and know how to follow a few simple
instructions.”

She kisses my cheek before saying, “You must stop spending money on me, Draco.”

“I’d spend my last sickle on you without a second thought,” I say as I place my hand on top
of hers. “Whatever you want, just say the word and it’s yours.”

Her body shifts to face me, her hands laid on my chest while mine find her waist. "And what
if what I want is you?"

"Then I am all yours, Granger. For as long as you'll have me."

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 19
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

January 3 1996

Everyone returned from Holiday break last night and I have to admit, I much preferred when
the castle was practically empty. It gave Granger and I free range to go and do whatever we
please whenever we please but now, with watchful eyes scattered throughout the corridors,
we have both agreed to keep our newfound relationship a secret. Feelings are already
complicated enough so there isn't a need to add the opinions of others on top of that.
Opinions we are certain wouldn't be in our favor.

Speaking of feelings, apparently some sparked between Theo and Pansy over break. When
they entered the common room hand in hand, I thought my vision must've been going.

"What in the fuck is this?" I ask, pointing at the their intertwined hands.

"Jealous?" Pansy smirks as she rests her head against his arm.

"Repulsed is more like it."

"You think that is nauseating?" Blaise groans, throwing his body onto the couch and laying
his head in my lap. "I was the one who walked in on them shagging, nearly got a second taste
of my supper. My poor mum's lounge chair. A rather expensive gift from her third husband,
may he rest in peace, now defiled by the love making of those two." He makes a disgusted
face at them before looking up at me, fluttering his eyelashes like a schoolgirl. "Looks like
it's just you and me mate," he says. "Perhaps we can say to hell with women altogether and
marry each other instead."

"Sure Blaise," I say, patting his arm. "But you're signing a prenup. You are your mother's son
after all," I tease.

For the next hour or so Blaise fills me on everything they got up to over break. Usually all of
us spend the Holiday at the manor but since I decided to stay at school, Blaise became host
and he was not a fan. While he continues to tell me about their holiday, I can't help but glance
over at Theo and Pansy. They haven't stopped snogging this entire time and as horrifying as it
is to watch, they oddly make a good pair.

"What do you say we go elsewhere and get a drink," Blaise suggests. "Give those two love
birds some time alone?"

Nodding, we both get up and head for the common room door. Just as we're about to step out
I hear Pansy call my name and shortly after, she grabs my arm and pulls me off to the side.
Remaining silent, I stare at her and wait for her to speak.
"How was your break?" she finally asks.

"Delightful," I reply, my voice emotionless. "Was there something that you needed, Pans?"

"I was-I just-" she lets out a defeated sigh. "Are we okay? You know, after everything?"

Pansy was a proper bitch for what she did to Granger but at the end of the day, she's one of
my oldest friends. There are very few people who I have let get close to me and I'll be
damned if I lose one because I decided to hold a grudge. Besides, it wasn't the first time she
pulled some stunt like that, it's sort of her speciality, and I've forgiven her before so might as
well forgive her again.

"We're fine," I tell her.

"Are you sure?" she asks. "You seemed rather cross with me when I left for break. You
wouldn't even speak to me."

I raise a brow. "I'm pretty sure it was you who ran off every time I entered a room, Pans," I
say. "Rather hard to talk to someone when they do that and you know I'm not the sort of
person to chase after someone."

"You're right," she sighs. "Well, I'm glad that we're back to normal then. I missed hanging out
with you, Draco."

"Yeah, yeah. I missed hanging out with you too." Wrapping my arms around her, I give her a
quick hug to reassure her that we are in fact okay which seemed to work since she looked up
at me with a big smile before returning to her spot on the couch with Theo. Before rejoining
Blaise, I look at Theo and Pansy and say, "If the two of you ever fuck in my room, I'll make
sure you regret it." I can tell Theo is about to reply with some smug remark so before he can
speak I add, "I'm pretty sure your mum has always fancied me, Theo. Shag in my room and
I'll make sure to give her a visit. I heard being a stepfather isn't too bad." I flash him a cheeky
wink before exiting the common room.

***

As I sip on my already half empty bottle of firewhiskey, I lean against the wall as I watch
Blaise miserably fail at flirting with a sixth year. I have to give it to him, it's rather impressive
how, even after countless rejections, he's never once let it tear down his ego (even if it
should). Unfortunately for all witches, I think the rejection actually strokes his ego even
more.

"Ah whatever." He waves his hand in the air as the sixth year walks away with her friends.
"She wasn't my type anyways," he tells me before taking a swig from his bottle.

"What even is your type?"

"Ones that are into me," he states which causes me to roll my eyes as I let out a small
chuckle.

"I think your type is anyone with a beating heart," I smirk into my bottle.
"At least I'm open to it," he shrugs. "Unlike you. It's been what? A year since you last laid
down with a girl? I know Astoria has been praying for the day you finally make a move on
her and same goes for every bloody girl in our year."

"I don't like Tori that way," I tell him.

"And? You don't need to have romantic feelings for her to sleep with her."

The thought of being with anyone other than Granger causes bile to rise in the back of my
throat. The last girl I hooked up with was dreadful and not because she was ugly or anything
but because even then Granger had her hooks in me. Every time I closed my eyes, all I saw
were her wild curls and big brown eyes. I'd find myself just on the edge of finishing and then
the girl I'm with would speak and the sound of her voice would break the fantasy.

Gods I miss Granger. I saw her just last night but I was so used to seeing her right in the
morning and then spending most of my day with her and now, I'm left with Blaise to keep my
company. This whole hiding in the shadows thing is already starting to become irritating. If it
doesn't get easier I think I'll only be left with one option- jump off the top of the astronomy
tower.

***

Blaise and I took it upon ourselves to raid the remaining alcohol hidden in the dungeons.
With each of us now two, maybe even three, bottles of firewhiskey deep, we find ourselves
sprawled out across the cobblestone floor.

"I'm fucking starving," Blaise whines as he clutches his stomach.

"Cookies?" I suggest.

Instantly, he sits up and nods his head repeatedly,

The second I stand up the alcohol hits me and for the first time, I realize just how drunk I
actually am. I squint my eyes and hold my arms out to the side as I try to balance myself and
decipher which of the three Blaises I see in front of me is the real one. After a few more
seconds I give up entirely and decide that it doesn't make much of a difference anyways.

With our arms wrapped around one another's shoulders, we begin walking-no-stumbling,
with a few skips here and there, our way to the kitchens. During break I built a decent
relationship with one of the elves, Poppy, and thankfully, she was still on shift when we
arrived.

"Come on, Pop, just a d-dozen or t-two," I slur. "I know you have some left."

The elderly elf checks her surroundings before letting out a sigh. "Poppy can give Mr. Malfoy
and his friend twelve but only because Mr. Malfoy looks ill," she says.

"Thank you, Pop," I smile before placing a sloppy kiss on the top of her head.
In less than a minute, Poppy returns with a tray of cookies and we thank her again before
running out.

Now halfway down the corridor and nearly every cookie already eaten, I feel my eyes
starting to grow heavy when suddenly Blaise smacks my arm, almost knocking the cookie
out of my hand.

"For fucks sake, Blaise," I groan. "I could've dropped my cookie!"

"Look!"

I follow the direction of his finger and spot Granger and the two nitwits. Gods she's
beautiful. I watch as she pulls out a disastrous excuse of a jumper from the gift bag in her
hand and then pulls Weasley in for a hug as she thanks him. Of course she loves it. I swear,
you could gift that woman a bloody rock and she'd be close to tears.

"Looks like Weasley and Granger are finally getting together," Blaise chuckles. "Took them
long enough."

"What?" My eyes snap over to him. "Weaslebee and Granger?" I ask, my tone a bit too bitter
but he's too drunk to notice.

Blaise shoves another cookie into his mouth before saying, "Didn't you see them at the yule
ball?"

"I saw Granger with Victor Krum."

"Yeah and Weasley threw a proper fit," he says. "Overhead the two of them barking at one
another just outside the Great Hall."

Surely he's gone mad. There isn't a single universe where she would ever see that twat as
anything other than a nuisance. Granger cherishes intellect and Weaslebee is in possession of
none. Potter I could possibly see, considering he's the almighty chosen one, but even with the
title she's still extremely out of his league. Regardless of the validity behind Blaise's
observations, I will not allow that red headed bastard the possibility to even think he has a
chance with my Granger.

Tossing the now empty tray, I close in on the group in just a few strides. "Well, well, what do
we have here?" I say, gaining their attention. Granger smiles at me for a moment but quickly
wipes the expression from her face and clears her throat. "Adorable jumper, Weaslebee. Find
it in the trash?" It takes no time for a scowl to find its way onto his face as he steps forward
and pushes me. "Ooh, someone is a bit testy today," I smirk. "Did your romantic holiday
away with Potter not go well? Don't tell me there's trouble in paradise?"

"Piss off, Malfoy," he sneers. "At least I wasn't the one moping about school."

"Oh I did many things over break but moping wasn't one of them," I say, stealing a quick
glance at Granger who is biting her lip and lowering her head to hide her blush.
"Don't you think this whole antagonistic personality of yours is getting a bit old, Malfoy?"
Potter asks.

"Let me think." I scratch my jaw as I pretend to think over the question. "Hmm, no. You two
make it far too easy."

Potter steps into me, his hands balled into fists. Weasley and Granger both grab him by the
shoulder and pull him back. He's such a frail human so provoking him has always been easy
but even I'm surprised at how quickly I got to him today.

"Well, as fun as this way," I say. "I believe I've reached my quota in charity work for the year
by speaking to you for the last five minutes." As Blaise and I push past the, I gently graze my
fingers against Granger's hips which causes her body to jolt slightly. With both of our friends
too oblivious to notice, I flash her a quick wink and smile.

***

On our way back, Blaise and I made a quick pit stop at Flitwick's office to steal back the
absinthe that he had confiscated at the beginning of term. By the time we reach the common
room we're both completely drunk and barely still standing. Stumbling our way over to where
Theo and Pansy are cuddled up on the couch by the fireplace. Blaise grips onto my shoulder
with one hand and covers his eyes with the other.

"Evening l-love birds," I slur as Blaise and I wobble and knock over the table beside us.

"Are they still snogging?" Blaise asks. I remove his hand from his eyes and he lets out a sigh
of relief when he sees that they're not.

"Merlin," Pansy pinches her nose, "I can smell the liquor seeping out from the both of you.
Did you consume every drop of alcohol within the castle?"

"No, but we did get this back!" I proudly hold up the bottle which causes me to lose my
balance a bit.

"And cookies!" Blaise adds, doing his best to support my weight and keep me from falling
backwards. "Are those fizzing whisbees?" he gasps as he leaps into Theo's lap and pushes
Pansy out of the way.

"Toss me one."

Blaise grabs a sweet and throws it up into the air. As I try to position myself to catch it in my
mouth, I trip over the corner of the rub and fall backwards. There's a brief moment of silence
as I get back up.

"Got it!" I exclaim as I throw both hands in the air. Blaise jumps up to his feet and celebrates
with me.

"You both are properly sloshed," Theo laughs.

 "You could have been too if you didn't stay in all night with your girlfriend," Blaise says,
slinging his arm around me.

"She's not my girlfriend," he says.

"Oh really?" Pansy snipes.

"Well-I mean-technically no-but-" Theo stutters.

Blaise and I both watch as the two of them bicker back and forth. Pansy begins throwing the
sweets at him and I have to hold Blaise back from reaching for them.

"We're just gonna go," I say but as we slowly begin walking backwards, Blaise trips over his
own feet which causes us both to fall onto the floor.

Pansy's eyes dart over to us. "Leave!" she screams.

Blaise and I scramble up to our feet and rush for the stairs.

Once we're out of earshot, Blaise says, "That witch has serious issues."

"I bet ten galleons they don't last the week."

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 20
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

January 5 1996

During potions, I slipped a note into Granger's pocket telling her to meet me in the astronomy
tower tonight. I've barely gotten any time with her since everyone returned. We've managed
to get a few quick snogs in empty corridors between classes but no actual time together. So
once dinner ended, I broke off from Theo, Pansy and Blaise and made my way to our meeting
spot.

The light sound of shoes against the metal steps is shortly followed by a quiet whisper.
"Draco?" I hear her say. "Are you up here?"

Turning, I spot her curls poking out from the shadows and instantly a smile paints across both
of our lips as our eyes meet.

"Get over here Granger," I say.

Quickly clearing the space between us, Granger jumps into my arms. My arms wrap tightly
around her waist as I press my lips onto hers. Slowly lowering her until her feet are on the
ground, I bury my face in the crook of her neck. I forgot how much I enjoyed these moments
with her.

"I've missed you," she says which makes my heart swell.

"I've missed you too." My hand caresses her cheek as I kiss her once more on the lips before
making my way down her neck. "Remind me again why I can't do this every time I see you?"

She lets out a small giggle. "Because we agreed it's easier this way, without the opinions of
others."

"Mhm, right," I hum against her skin, my right hand making its way to her breast. "You
know, Granger, I've never been one to give a shit about what other people think of me." My
fingers begin fiddling with her shirt, sucking on her skin as I unbutton it, earning a small
moan from her.

"Yes but what about your father?" she asks.

I lift my head and look down at her. "Is my father really who you're thinking about in this
moment?"

"Sort of," she admits causing me to raise a brow. "Not like that!" she laughs, slapping my
chest. "I meant, if he found out about us I can't imagine he'd be very happy would he?"

"When is he ever?" I drawl.

"You know what I mean, Draco," she sighs.

"He'd more than likely disinherit me but-"

"Exactly!"

"-I don't care,"

"Which is precisely why we need to-wait, what?" She shakes her head and looks up at me,
unsure if she heard me correctly.

"I don't care," I repeat. "About the inheritance, what my father thinks or anyone for the
matter. You are the only thing I care about and if keeping us a secret is what you want then I'll
comply, but just know that I would proudly stand by your side in front of everyone."

Her eyes start to glisten as she looks at me. Is she crying? Gods, I hope she isn't. I don't know
how to handle that. Did I make her cry? What did I say? Fuck. What am I supposed to do?

Every question running through my mind is pushed aside when she pulls me in by my tie and
caresses my lips with hers. Her fingers fiddle with the buttons of my shirt but since she's an
impatient little thing, she lets out an aggravated noise before just ripping it open.

"In a hurry there, Granger?" I smirk.

"I want you," she says.

"You have me."

"No." She shakes her head and presses her hands against my bare chest. I watch as she slowly
runs them down the length of my torso as she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth.

Placing my finger under her chin, I tilt her head so that she's looking at me again. "Tell me
what you want."

"I want you," she says shyly.

Grabbing her by the hips, I pull her into me and crash my lips onto hers. Her fingers rake
through my hair, tugging at the ends. Picking her up, I walk us over to the platform
underneath the archway and gently place her on her back.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yes but-" she pulls in a nervous breath. "I've never... you know."

"We'll take it slow," I say. "Just tell me if you want to stop, okay?"

"Okay."

As my hand reaches around and unclasps her bra I trail my mouth down her neck, along her
clavicle and breast until I reach her nipple. Circling it with my tongue I look up and watch as
her eyes shut and her head falls back. My hand slowly glides down her body, lifting her skirt
up and pressing my palm against her center while I simultaneously suck on her nipple
causing her to let out a gasp.

"Stop?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "No."

I move down as I palm her over her knickers and begin kissing up her inner thigh, her body
twitching at the contact. Her skirt now bundled up around her hips and myself positioned
between her legs I check in on her, she's watching me carefully, panting, hands balled into a
fist.

"Say the word and I'll stop," I tell her as I remove her knickers. I keep my gaze locked on her
as I lower my head and press my lips against her, her hand flying to my head and gripping my
hair.

"S-sorry," she apologizes, releasing.

I grab her hand and place it back in my hair. Starting at the bottom, I glide my tongue along
her slit, pressing harder once I reach her clit. Her legs try to close but I pull them back open,
sliding my tongue further inside of her. Her fingers tug at my hair and her head falls back, her
hips buck against me as she moans, causing my cock to twitch. My tongue continues to lap
around her, my hands holding her legs open as she squirms. Moving up, I suck on her clit and
she lets out the most satisfying noise.

"Fuck, Draco."

I lift my head and watch her face closely as I tease her outside with my finger. Her eyes open
and lock onto mine as she pants. As I slide a finger inside her head falls back again as she
bites down on her lip. Slowly, I begin pumping in and out of her.

"Stop?"

"Fuck no!" she snips, causing me to chuckle.

As I continue pumping inside of her, I dip my head back down, flicking her clit with my
tongue, occasionally pressing and adding pressure against it. Her thighs continue to try to
close in on me but I hold them open as I add a second finger. My mouth latches onto her as I
curl my fingers inside, pressing against the rigid wall. Her hips jump up and her grip on my
hair tightens even more, pressing my face further into her causing me to groan as my cock
throbs at the sound of her pleasure filled moans.

"Draco.." she whimpers, looking down at me.

"Cum for me, Granger," I coo. "I want to watch as you cum all over my fingers." Picking up
the pace with each thrust, her eyes tightly shut again as the muscles in her stomach contract.
Her hips raise and I suck on the inside of her thigh.

"Draco.. I think I'm-"

 "That's it," I encourage. "Cum for me sweetheart."

She removes her hand from my hair and grips onto my arm. I pick up my pace even more,
thrusting my fingers deeper, harder. She digs her nails into my skin as I feel her tighten
around me. Her body relaxes and eyes open as she lets out a long sigh. Pushing her skirt back
down, I help her sit up. She drops her head, resting it on my chest. I tuck her hair behind her
ear and kiss her forehead.

"Did I.." Her face turns red. "it didn't taste.."

I raise my hand and place my fingers in my mouth, sucking them clean.

"You taste like transcendent fucking bliss, Granger."

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 21
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

January 10 1996

I managed to steal Granger away for 10 minutes before lunch today. She protested the entire
time saying anyone could walk in on us and in the back of my head, I was praying they
would. Because at least then we could stop hiding in the shadows and I would be able to
openly steal glances at her during class, though I already do, but she wouldn't chew my ear
out afterwards for being so obvious.

Sure, our friends would take some time to come around to the idea but I don't give a fuck
about them. They can drop me altogether if they have such an issue with it and, if needed, I
might even be open to the idea of not being as big of an arse to her imbecile friends. But only
because I know it would make her happy. I couldn't care less about them.

We finalized our research paper two days ago so we no longer have that excuse for meeting
in the library which only leaves us with quick snog sessions between classes and every other
day in the astronomy tower past curfew. I cherish every moment I can get with Granger but
I've already grown tired of keeping this, us, her, a secret.

During defense against the dark arts I slipped a paper crane onto her desk before the other
students filed in. I watched from the back of the room as she sat down, her cheeks growing
red as she picked it up, knowing it was from me. I waited for her to look over her shoulder,
just for a few seconds, to offer me a small smile, something, anything but she didn't. Potter
had shortly after taken his seat beside her and she quickly shoved it into her pocket, out of his
sight.

Countless times I've thought about marching up to her in the great hall and kissing her,
claiming her, in front of everyone. Ever since Blaise told me about her and Weasley the night
of the yule ball I've watched them closely. He leans into her, his eyes travel down to her
mouth as she speaks and he laughs far too much when I know that whatever she had said
wasn't funny enough to warrant such a reaction. He holds the door open for her, which could
just be seen as him having good manners but let's be fucking real, he's a Weasley, there isn't a
hint of class in his grimy fingers. I don't know why he thinks he would ever have a chance
with her but delusion does seem to a rather distinctive trait within their house.

Granger deserves a man who can take care of her and support her throughout all of her
brilliant achievements and Weasley is entirely incapable of doing so. She does not need to be
someone's caretaker. She needs someone who can stand on their own and he can't even
properly do his own bloody tie. His shirt is always untucked, wrinkled, and covered in stains.
His pants are far too loose and, apparently, he's never heard of a belt. His shoes have skid
marks all over them and they're falling apart at the seams, which is expected since everything
he gets is a hand-me-down.
No. Even if I wasn't in the picture, Weasley wouldn't stand a chance at ever being more than a
charity case for Granger, but since I am in the picture, perhaps he'll cease to remain even
that.

January 15 1996

He's touching her fucking arm. Nowhere in the directions does it say one must touch their
partner's arm in order to properly brew a simple fucking antidote.

Now he's laughing again.

What could be so damn funny about adding mistletoe berries to a stupid cauldron?

If he moves even the slightest bit closer to her...

You know what, I told Granger I'd stop using legilimency on unknowing students after her
lecture on how it's an invasion of privacy and should only be used in dire circumstances but
I'd say this could fall under that class. This sod has been making eyes at my girl for far too
long and so it's practically my duty to peek inside his head, for her protection of course, he
could be planning her murder for all we know.

I take a deep breath before focusing my gaze and attention on him and there it is. Countless
streams of consciousness all relating to Granger, my Granger. They're rather juvenile thoughts
for the most part but there are the occasional ones where he's stolen glances at her arse and
thought of her naked. Over my dead body Weasley.

He really thinks he could pleasure her? The muppet wouldn't even know where to begin, he'd
probably wet his pants before she even took her shirt off. What a pathetic git.

She's intelligent and uptight, likes things a very particular way. She may not be very
experienced but that doesn't mean you can just shove one in her and she'll be satisfied.
Weasley would probably find himself rubbing the inside of her thigh thinking it's her clit. I
don't even need to lay a single finger on Granger to bring her to completion twice over.

Breaking the connection from the twat's mind I turn my attention to her.

Look at me Granger.

She blinks a few times before looking up from her book and across the room at me.

There she is.

I flash her a smirk before letting myself in.

"I'm one obnoxious laugh away from breaking your friend's neck, Granger."

Her eyes flicker over to Ron and then back at me, her eyebrows pulling together as she tilts
her head, giving me her all too familiar 'don't you dare' stare.
 "He's fantasized about you and I'll be damned if I let him continue to do so."

The vein in her forehead begins to protrude, just like it always does when she's about to yell
at me. She slams her hands down on the table, earning odd stares from her peers.

"You can curse me out in your head sweetheart. I'll hear it."

She apologizes to Potter and Weasley before fixing her hair and letting out a huff as her eyes
meet mine again. "You can't go using legilimency on people Draco, especially my friends."

"He doesn't want to be just friends and if I'm not allowed to publicly claim you as mine ,then
I think I'm entitled to making sure no one else thinks they can."

She rolls her eyes. "I am not a piece of property, no one has any claim over me."

I let out a small chuckle. Foolish bint. "I'd argue you thought differently when you were
moaning my name in the broom closet just an hour ago, begging me to touch you."

Her cheeks flush and the muscles in her shoulders stiffen as she clears her throat.

"Or a few days ago in Flitwick's empty classroom," I continue. "When you had your legs
wrapped tightly around me, my cock throbbing between your legs as I swirled my tongue
around your nipple. Or perhaps even a week ago, when my face was buried so deep between
your legs as you moaned my name, begging me to keep going. Remember that, Granger?"

Her entire neck is now the same shade of red as her face, her fingers messing with her tie as
she shifts in her seat.

"Because I do," I say. "I remember pressing my tongue against your clit as I thrust my fingers
in and out of you. I remember your nails digging into my skin as your walls tightened around
me as you came undone and I most certainly remember the way you tasted as I licked every
last drop. The thought alone is enough to get me off."

She's biting down on her bottom lip now as she grips the edge of the table and I can see her
legs shifting, pushing together.

"I bet my entire inheritance that if I was to run my hand between your legs right now, your
knickers would be dripping wet."

Her chest rises as she takes in a sharp breath and stands, asking Professor Snape to be
excused to use the lavatory. As she's just about to exit she pauses in front of the door and
glances over her shoulder. "Are you coming or not?"

This bloody witch.

Chapter End Notes

edit
 Chapter 22
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

February 7 1996

My fingers are brushing through her curls, her head resting in my lap as she tells me about
the constellations forming in the night sky. I'm trying my best to pay attention but all I can
think about is what happened during dinner tonight.

Frances sitting down beside her, making her laugh, his hand touching her back. I didn't even
need to bother using occlumency to know what was going through his head. He fancies her
and of course he fucking does. Granger is remarkable both physically and intellectually, she's
the woman of practically every man's dreams and to the public she's up for grabs.

"There's actually a constellation named after you, though it's not very prominent most nights -
what's on your mind?" She asks, regaining my attention.

With no hesitation I reply "I want to tell my friends and I want you to tell yours." She just
stares at me, waiting for me to say that I'm joking. "We can do it together if you want." I add.

Sitting up she begins biting her nails, I hate when she does that. Grabbing her hand to stop
her, her eyes flick up to mine. "Where is this even coming from?"

"Don't act like it just came out of the blue Granger." I scoff. "You know that I've wanted to
for awhile now."

"Yes and we've already agreed that it's a bad idea."

"No, you said that it was a bad idea and I just didn't fight it."

"Sure but you know it was with good reason."

"Was it?"

"Yes Draco!" Her voice raising.

"Do enlighten me then."

"To protect us! To keep your father from finding out. You're the one who said he would
disinherit you if he caught news of us."

"To which I then said that I don't care so that argument is invalid."

Her eyes search mine, full of disbelief that we are even having this conversation, then
something flashes across her face and she throws my hand and stands. "This is about Frances
isn't it? I can't believe it!"
"So what if it is?" I challenge, also standing.

"I am not your property Draco! People are allowed to speak to me!"

My jaw clenches, biting my tongue before I speak. Keep calm, file the anger away, lock it up
and build a wall. Stay level headed.

"He touched you." I say calmly.

"And what about it?" She snips.

"He wants you."

"So?"

One word has never hit me as hard as that one just did. Her tone wasn't her usual soft,
empathetic and reassuring that is usually used when we have arguments over things like this.
No, it sounded more like she saw no problem with other guys wanting her, almost like she..
enjoys it.

File away. Lock. Bury. Lay bricks down. Build a-

"What's so wrong with other guys showing interest in me?" She says, her question derailing
my entire effort of controlling my temper. My eyes lower, darken, as I step forward. "What's
wrong about it is that you are already spoken for and even though they may not be aware you
are. So forgive me for not being ecstatic over the fact that I have to sit back and watch as
guys make eyes at you all day and you not stopping them."

"You act like girls aren't all over you Draco." She argues. "I see Astoria following you around
all the time like a lost puppy. I don't see you telling her to piss off."

This witch is really trying this shit with me? "You've got to be fucking kidding me." I laugh.
"A girl could literally drop her robes in front of me and I wouldn't bat an eye at her."

"You're really telling me that in a room full of the hottest girls, every single one you've ever
wanted, you wouldn't even look at them?" She mocks.

"You would be the only girl in the room Granger."

"Because I know tha- what?"

"You are the only girl that I want, that I've ever wanted."

She shakes her head "That's a lie. I know for a fact that you've slept around, girls would tell
anyone who would listen that they were with you."

"That doesn't mean that I wanted them." I say, cupping her cheek. "In the past if a girl threw
herself at me I didn't pass up the opportunity, I'm still a teenage boy after all."

"And I'm to believe that things are any different now?"

"Yes."

"Why."

"Because I have who I want."

Her shoulders relax, face softens, attack mode turning off as she places her hand on top of
mine and lets out a sigh. "I'm not ready to tell them." She admits. "I want more time, of this,
of us just being happy together. Is that too much to ask?"

She's going to cry, I can see the water beginning to pool in her eyes. As mad as I am I can't
stand the sight of her crying, especially when I know that I'm the cause of it. I pull her into
me, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her forehead as she nuzzles her face into my
chest and grips onto me. I don't see what good waiting will do, we can still be happy together,
happier even. But it's been a long day and we only have a few more minutes before we need
to get back to our dorms and I don't want to spend the remainder of our time together
fighting.

"Fine but I don't know how much longer I can do this Granger but I'll try, for you."

February 8 1996

"Are you even paying attention?" Blaise asks, punching my arm.

"Mate, if you punch me again I will cut your hand off and shove it so far down your throat." I
threaten.

"Oh good, it's relieving to see that violent side of you is still in tact."

This isn't the first time he's made a comment like this to me and he's not the only one who has
been pointing things out. Ever since they've returned from break they've been on my case
about being "off". Apparently it's strange that I haven't sent anyone on a trip to the hospital
wing, Pansy has even been keeping track of how many days its been, 70 days as she so kindly
reminded me this morning.

It's not that I haven't thought about it or even come close to doing so because believe me I
have, countless times, but Granger made it very clear that she can't be with someone who is
quick to violence. As much as I want to break every bone in Weasley's, Knox's and every guy
who looks in her direction body I won't, it's not worth possibly losing her.

I also have been rather absent both mentally and physically. If I'm not spending time between
classes pulling her aside or at night with her in the astronomy tower I'm still focused on her.
Thankfully, my friends have their heads too far up their own arses to notice where my
attention lays, not that I care if they do.

Pansy, however, has been throwing small digs at me, hinting that she knows something is
going on. I figured she'd be the first to do so, she's always had me under a microscope
whether it be due to her heavy interest in my inheritance or simply because she's just
annoying like that but regardless I wish she'd just fucking say something. I'm not one to enjoy
vague comments, if you have something to say then say it. Tip toeing around subjects is for
the weak.

"Are you coming tonight or are you locking yourself away in your dorm again?" Blaise asks,
referring to the Ravenclaw party tonight.

I really don't feel like going but Granger can't meet tonight, she has to tend to her friends as
they have been nagging her about being gone so often as well. Ravenclaw parties are alright,
nothing special and usually end in some disastrous way but it would help keep my mind off
of her.

"I'll come."

"Fuck yes! The gang is getting back together!" Blaise cheers as Theo and Pansy enter the
common room.

"What's going on?" Theo asks.

"Numpty over here just agreed to join us tonight." Blaise tells them.

"About time." Pansy says with her usual attitude.

"Miss me Pans? I thought choking on Theo's dick would finally help take your mind off of
me." I smirk causing Theo to chuckle but her eyes to roll.

"No. I just figured you'd hide away in your room for the rest of eternity. Something or
someone on your mind Draco?"

Again with the vague accusations, what an annoying cunt.

"Perhaps I just enjoy my dorm." I shrug. "I know you did, especially when it would be my
cock down your throat. Have you shown Theo that tongue trick I taught you?"

"Fuck you Draco."

"Sorry, I'm already spoken for." I say, her eyebrow lifts. "Isn't that right love?" Slinging my
arm over Blaise who immediately gets into character and rests his head on me.

"That is right darling, so piss off Parkinson!" He snarls.

**

In true Ravenclaw fashion, the room is dimly lit, a purple hue filling the room. The one thing
I hate the most about their parties is that they open it up to all houses. Why they do so is
beyond me. After Slytherin, their house is next in the superiority line and the only house we
have a sort of truce with. At least most houses stick to their respective corners of the room
keeping my interaction with Hufflepuffs and such at a minimum.
Pansy drags Theo out into the middle of the room to dance while Blaise and I stick near the
drinks table. The second we walked in his eyes started scanning the room to find someone to
shove his tongue down.

"Talia isn't too bad, especially if you close your eyes."

"Does your dick ever switch off Blaise?"

"No." He admits. "Besides, this." Pointing to his crotch. "Is going to get us both laid tonight."

"I'm good but by all means have your fun." I tell him, finishing off my first drink and pouring
myself another.

"Oh come on." He groans. "You finally come out and you aren't even going to have any fun?"

"I'm having plenty of fun." I say, lifting my cup.

"Yeah well you could have more fun with a girl in your lap. Look, here comes Astoria." And
just as he stated I look up to see her heading straight for us. It's nothing against her
personally, she's perfectly nice and isn't ugly by any means, in fact she's rather fit but she isn't
my Granger.

"Drink?" Blaise offers her, she nods her head and he turns to pour her one.

"Hi Draco." She smiles.

"Tori." I nod, taking a sip of my drink.

Blaise hands her a cup and instantly asks if she brought any friends for him.

"No but I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding someone tonight." She tells him, patting his
back.

He straightens his posture and grins. "You have always been my favorite." He winks, causing
her to laugh. Such a prat.

We're all talking when my eyes land on a familiar set of curls entering the room. My eyes
devour her body, she's in a red dress that leaves very little to the imagination and barely
covers her bum. What have I done to deserve this woman? My feet take one step forward in
her direction but I come to a halt when I spot Potter and Weasley beside her, reminding me
that I'm not allowed to go to her.

I watch as she makes her way to the other side of the room, my eyes burning through
Weasley's hand placed on her lower back as he guides her. Last time I checked she was fully
capable of walking on her own.

Astoria must've noticed my shift in mood because her hand lightly squeezes my arm. "Are
you okay?"

"Fine." I reply, keeping my gaze on Granger.

I finish off four more drinks in the ten minutes since she's arrived, not paying any attention to
what Blaise and Astoria are saying. Potter has already begun to make a fool of himself,
throwing his arms around as he dances. Weasley has joined him and grabs Granger's hands to
join them, she fought against it at first but eventually gave in.

Potter gets pulled away by Cho and Weasley excuses himself from her side to go talk to
Finnigan providing me with an open window. I down the rest of the contents within my cup
and toss it aside before I slip through the crowd and straight for her.

Her back is turned to me as I approach. I place my hands on her hips and lower my head so
my mouth is level with her ear. "What are you doing here Granger?" I whisper.

She lets out a small gasp as she jumps, turning to face me. Her face relaxes as she lets out a
sigh of relief once she sees its me but quickly she tenses again, frantically checking around
us. "Draco. We can't. Someone might see us."

With her now right in front of me, I take a better look at her. My eyes scanning every inch of
her body, licking my lips as my fingers tighten on her hips, pulling her closer into me. "The
things I want to do to you right now."

Even with the lack of light in the room I can see her cheeks turn red. "You clean up pretty
nice yourself." She smiles, running her finger down my chest as she bites her bottom lip. "I
always thought you looked nice in black."

I grab her face and pull it up to mine, caressing her lips with mine. She sighs into me as I
slant my mouth, tilting her chin and running my tongue against hers. Someone bumps into us
causing the connection to break and for her to pull away from me.

"You can't do that, not here!" She wipes her lips with the back of her hand and looks around,
checking to make sure no one saw.

"Granger, it's so dark in here people can barely see their own bloody feet. Relax." I say,
grabbing her by the back of the neck and connecting our lips again. Her hands tug at the front
of my shirt while my right hand travels down her back until I reach the end of her dress,
gripping tightly onto her arse.

I bite down on her bottom lip before making my way to her neck. "You drive me insane
Granger." I groan. I remove her left hand from my shirt and place it on my crotch, pushing
her palm against me to feel how hard I am. "It's been that way since the moment I spotted
you."

"It's just the dress." She says, her voice breathy as I bite at her skin.

I lift my head and look down at her. "No. Even in those atrocious pajamas of yours you do
this to me. Do you know how many times I find myself having to cast a cooling charm during
class to get rid of my boner? You're the only person who can satisfy my endless hunger."

My tongue sweeps along her neck and down to the top of her breasts which are on perfect
display due to the low neckline of her dress.
"Draco." She moans as I suck on her skin, marking her as mine.

"Mione!" A voice calls out, her head whips over to her left and spots Potter pushing his way
through the crowd and over to us. She jumps back and pushes me away, as she's adjusting her
dress she spots the bruise that is already forming on her chest.

"Why did you do that?!" Her voice full of panic.

"What? Worried your little boyfriends might notice?" I scoff.

"You did it on purpose! You want them to see it, to force me into explaining, into telling them
about us!" She shouts though it's barely heard over the music bouncing off the walls.

"If I wanted to force you I would've grabbed you the moment you stepped inside the room
Granger." I say flatly.

She glowers at me before speaking. "This." Her hands gesturing between us. "Can't happen
here."

"It already did, in the middle of the room for everyone to see."

"That was one time!" She argues.

"Twice actually."

"Fine! Twice! But that's it!" Her eyes widen as Potter gets closer. "Go back to your friends
and leave me be!" She demands as she attempts to push me back but I remain in place.
"Draco please! Go before Harry gets here. Please!" She begs.

"Fine Granger. I'll leave."

"Thank you, I'll meet you afterwards."

"No." Her eyes shoot up to me. "You want me to leave you be? Then I will. But don't expect
me to sit around and wait for you to make up your mind."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what it means! You don't want to keep us a secret for the sake of me or
our relationship. It's purely out of self interest. You can either keep your image in tact or be
with me but you can't have both so you're trying to decide which means more to you."

"That's not-you're being unfair."

"Am I?" I look over to my right to see Potter who is only a few steps away. "Time to make
your choice Granger."

Her chest is rapidly raising as she looks back and forth between Potter and I.

"Just go Draco!"
 "Happily." A scornful look on my face before walking away.

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 23
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

February 14 1996

She’s been avoiding me like a proper child. Everytime she sees me she runs off and latches
onto Potter, Weasley or Weaslette. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t give a damn who
she’s with when I see her next. I’m going up to her and we are talking.

Lucky for her, I’ve just spotted her in the corridor and she’s by herself. She doesn’t notice me
so, like any logical man would, I follow her into the girl’s lavatory. Once inside, I lean
against the wall with my arms folded across my chest as I wait for her to finish. When she
steps out, she still doesn’t notice me and begins washing her hands. It’s not until she reaches
for a towel that she spots me in the mirror.

“You’ve been avoiding me, Granger,” I say.

“Draco!” she gasps as she spins around and grips the sink behind her to keep her steady.
“This is the girl’s lavatory.”

“Always the observant one,” I say, walking up to her. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

"I figured you wouldn't want to see me."

"On what basis?"

"Because we broke up?" she says, as if this was common knowledge.

My eyebrow quirks. "Since when did we break up? I don't recall that ever happening."

Now her arms are crossed as she glares up at me. "At the Ravenclaw party, remember? When
you stormed off and everything?"

I let out a sharp and mocking chuckle. "You mean when you commanded–no– begged me to
do so?"

"Yes-no-I mean-" She lets out an irritated sigh. "You said all of those things."

"That's called a fight. Something couples, especially you and I, tend to do. That doesn’t mean
we’re broken up. Unless that's what you want?"

She shakes her head. "No, it isn't."

"Then it's settled,” I say. “So you can stop running away every time you see me now."
A smile tugs at the corner of her mouth as she rolls her eyes. "So does this mean we're okay
then?" she asks, placing her hand on my cheek.

"No."

Her hand drops. "But-"

"We aren't broken up but that doesn't change what I want.”

"What is it that you want, Draco?”

For fucks sake, does this witch even listen to a word I say?

“All of you dammit” I snap, causing her to flinch. “I want all of you and not just in broom
closets, empty classrooms or late at night in the astronomy tower,” I continue. “I want more
time with you. I want to show the entire world my amazing girlfriend. I want to be able to
hold your hand, walk you to class, take you on dates, pass you cheesy fucking love letters and
watch as you get flustered while reading them. I want to kiss you whenever and wherever I
want and I want to threaten every guy who looks at you. Merlin, I want so badly to be able to
do that.”

"I want that too,” she says.

“No you don’t!” I shout, punching the mirror behind her. “No you don’t,” I repeat, my voice
quiet and broken. “Because if you did, then you wouldn’t be asking me to wait. If you did,
you wouldn’t keep putting me through this.”

“Draco…” She tries to reach out for me but I back away from her.

“No, Granger. I told you that I would try and I am, truly, but sometimes I feel like I’m the
only one who is. I get that you aren’t ready to tell our friends yet but I just–” my voice
cracks. “I need more,” I say. “I want back the girl who proudly clung to my arm as we paced
the corridor. The girl who wanted me. I want back my Granger. So, whenever she reappears,
come find me.”

“Draco, please I–” she begins but I leave the lavatory before I can hear the rest of her
sentence.

Even as I walk away I can hear her calling out for me but I don’t stop because if I do, I know
I’ll give in. All she’d have to do is bat her eyelashes up at me and ask me to understand
where she’s coming from, to give her more time and to just be happy with what we have, and
I would’ve agreed. I would do anything she asks of me and that is by far one of my greatest
weaknesses.

She is my greatest weakness.

***

When I return to my seat in divination, Pansy instantly notices the fresh wounds on my
knuckles.
“Gods, Draco,” she says as she pokes at the separated skin. “What happened to your hand?”

“Nothing,” I lie.

“Do you want me to heal it for you?”

“No.”

“Fine but at least take this,” she says as she hands me a handkerchief. “I don’t need you
bleeding all over my textbook.”

I press the cloth down on my cuts as I listen to Trelawney go off on some nonsensical
tangent.

“Now, I’d like for you to switch cups with your table partner and decipher each other’s tea
leaves,” Trelawney instructs.

Pansy and I exchange cups and immediately she begins examining mine. “Yours is an X,” she
says. “No, wait, it’s a cross. Which means…” her finger scans over the page as she locates
the correct section, “you’ll be experiencing trials and suffering.”

Sounds about fucking right.

“What’s mine?” she asks.

Holding up her cup, I squint my eyes as I try to make sense of the blob at the bottom. “Er- a
mountain maybe?” I tell her. If i’m being honest, it doesn’t look like shit but there is a slight
curve in there somewhere so it very well could be a mountain… if you use your imagination.

“What does that mean?”

I flip the page and find the paragraph explaining the meaning behind the symbol. "Journey
ahead, Pans. Feel free to stay away as long as you need or, even better, don’t come back at
all,” I say with a mocking smile.

“Journey?! Let me see that!” Pansy rips the cup from my grasp and begins examining it
herself. “Where in Godric’s name did you see a mountain?”

"I didn't see shit,” I admit. “It could be a thumb for all I fucking know."

She slams the cup down onto the table and leans back into her chair as she lets out an
aggravated huff.

***

I tuned Trelawney out for the remainder of class and instead poked at the tea leaves in my
cup with the tip of my wand. Once we were dismissed, I broke off from Pansy and started
making my way to meet Blaise before our next class. As I’m turning the corner, someone
grabs my tie and drags me into a broom closet.
“What the–” I begin but a hand quickly slaps over my mouth. Shortly after, a small glow
emanates from a wand, providing just enough light for me to see her.

I rip her hand away from my face so I can speak. “As much as I love our little broom closet
escapades, I’m not really in the mood so if you could just–” I’m cut off mid sentence again
but this time she pushes the tip of her wand into the side of my neck.

“If you don’t shut up, I will hex you!” she threatens. “Now be quiet so I can listen.”

Granger places her ear against the door for a few seconds before slowly opening it and
peeking her head out. “Okay, it’s clear. Come on.”

Once again, she grabs me by my tie and drags me out of the closet.

“Do you mind telling me what this is all about?” I ask as I’m being dragged through the
courtyard.

“We’re ditching class,” she says casually. I come to a complete halt which causes her to get
yanked back slightly. “What are you doing?” she asks as she attempts to pull me forward but
ultimately fails. “Draco, we don’t have much time before Filch makes his rounds!”

“This isn't like you.” I say.

Letting go of my tie, she throws her arms in the air and says, “You’re maddening!”

“And you’re not someone who skips class. Where are we going anyways?”

“Out.”

“Out?”

Yes, out. On a date,” she specifies. “I’m taking you on a date just like you wanted.”

“I’m pretty sure I said that I wanted to take you on a date.”

“Is there really a difference?”

“Yes, many actually,” I reply.

I notice her glancing over my shoulder so I follow her line of sight and spot Filch.

“Are you coming or not?” she aks, holding her hand out for me to take.

Knowing that she must be close to wetting her pants at the thought of getting caught not only
skipping class but also trying to leave school grounds, I decide to take my sweet time on
making a decision. I know Filch is starting to get closer based on the panic consuming her
eyes. Once I see sweat beginning to form on her forehead I begin walking in her direction but
I don’t take her hand.

“Fine.” I say. “But I want desert.”

 **

Stepping out of the floo, she takes out her wand and transfigures our school robes into some
hideous Muggle attire.

“Fix it,” I demand.

“I think it looks nice,” she giggles as she traces the lettering that spells out ‘I love London’.

“Granger…”

“Okay, okay. No need to lose your head over it.” She holds up her wand once more and
switches out the ghastly shirt for a plain black one.

As we step outside, I move her to the inside of the sidewalk and intertwine my fingers with
hers as I stare down the man whose eyes raked up and down her body.

"Oh so now you'll hold my hand?" she mocks.

"Why are we in London?" I ask, ignoring her snide comment.

"Because I like London and so do you. Anymore questions or can we get on with our date?"

"Just one. Why do we have to be around muggles?" I ask as I guide us to the far side of the
sidewalk to avoid the dirty man sitting on the ground. "They're repulsive."

"They're not that bad. You're just close minded."

"Granger, that man is peeing into a can."

Her face scrunches as she watches in disgust "Okay, maybe some of them are but we're not
leaving."

We continue walking for another 10 minutes or so until we reach a blocked off street that is
set up similarly to the one from Christmas Eve. Tents and stands line the sidewalk, muggles
flooding the area and everything seems to be some shade of pink and hearts are plastered
everywhere.

She tells me that today is a Muggle holiday known as Valentine's Day. Apparently they only
take one day out of the year to show love to their partners, no wonder discussions in muggle
studies consist heavily of their failed relationships.It seems like it's an all age inclusive
holiday as there are kids around age 13 up to the elderly, who look like they're surely about to
croak any moment.

Her choice in color for her shirt makes sense now. At first I thought she just couldn't bear the
idea of not dressing in Gryffindor colors but taking a closer look, I noticed that it is in fact a
darker shade of pink.

My black shirt seems fitting for this occasion. Not saying that I'm heartless, hell, I'm here
with her aren't I? I'm just simply put off by this entire "holiday". It's ridiculous if you ask me.
Why must there be a designated day for a person to show they give a damn about someone?
These Muggles only continue to prove why they're inferior.

I watch as men hand women cheap bouquets of flowers that look like they were plucked off
the side of the road but regardless of the low quality, the women seem ecstatic that they were
thought of at all. Pathetic. If Granger allowed me, I would buy her an entire field of flowers,
an entire collection of various gems and her own bloody bookstore.

I'm still considering the bookstore idea if I’m being honest. Perhaps that would finally get
her to read something other than Hogwarts A History. I would get her first editions of her
favorite books and exclusive early copies of the Undesirables as they're released, each with
handwritten notes in the front like the one I gave her for christmas.

"For you," she smiles, handing me a tiny heart shaped item.

"Thank you, I've always wanted a.." My fingers fumble with the object as I try to figure out
what it even is.

"It's a candy,” she says.

"It feels like chalk."

"You don't have to eat it," she giggles.

"I wasn't planning on it,” I admit.

***

Granger left me on a bench. I haven’t a clue what she ran off to do but I also don’t care too
much because I have a cup of lemonade. At least, I think that’s what she said it’s called. It has
far too much sugar in it but I also can’t stop drinking it.

I’m in the middle of fighting with a pigeon when two girls approach me. They’re dressed in
small denim shorts and I’m almost positive my family owns napkins that are bigger than the
so-called shirts they have on.

The blonde obnoxiously flips her hair before saying, “You look lonely.” Her high pitched
voice makes my ears bleed. “Do you need some company?”

“No.”

Apparently they’re just as stupid as they look because despite me saying no, they both take a
seat. The blonde is on my left and the redhead is to my right. And, thanks to the blonde’s
disgusting voice, my damn pigeon flew away.

“Ouch, what happened here?” The redhead asks as she grabs my hand and looks at the cuts
on my knuckles.

I swat her hand with my free one and pull away. “I punched a mirror,” I reply before taking
another sip of my lemonade.
“Ooh a bad boy,” the blonde giggles as she leans closer. “My name is Cassie and that’s my
friend Hannah.”

“I didn’t fucking ask.”

“We’re heading to the pub,” the redhead says.

“Good for you.”

“Do you want to join us?” the blonde asks.

“I’d rather kill myself.”

They both dramatically throw their heads back as they burst into the most obnoxious laughter
that very much resembles the sound a hyena makes. The blonde’s hand is on my bicep when I
spot Granger in the distance. She looks like she’s ready to rip their heads off which I think is
very fun.

As she marches towards us, her hand rests on her left pocket where her wand is stowed. If she
hexes them, I will have no choice but to marry her instantly. I’ll also probably get a boner.

“Might be wise for you to remove your hand,” I tell the blonde.

“Why’s that?” she asks.

“Because my girlfriend is heading over here and she’s not very good at sharing.” Granger is
right in front of us before the two even have time to process what I just said. “Ah, hello
darling,” I say with a smug grin.

“Care to introduce me to your new friends?” she asks, her words dripping in anger and
jealousy.

“I’d love to,” I smile. “This is Katie and Haley.”

“Actually, it’s Cassie and Hannah,” the blonde corrects. “We were just asking him if he’d like
to come with us to the pub.”

“How kind of you,” Granger says with a tight lipped smile. “Unfortunately, we already have
plans. So if you could fuck off now that would be great.”

The two girls let out shocked gasps while I swallow my chuckle. This is the first time I’ve
seen Granger jealous and I have to say, I’m extremely turned on.

When the girls still refuse to get up and leave, Granger grabs my hand, pulls me up to my feet
and kisses me. My right hand snakes around the back of her neck as I slant my head and slip
my tongue into her mouth. I swallow her moan as my left hand finds its way to her lower
back.

“I think they’re gone now,” she pants, pulling back and looking around.
 Some people are staring but most offer a kind smile and nod at what they presume is young
love at its finest. They aren’t aware that they just witnessed Granger getting a taste of her
own medicine.

“Hurts, doesn’t it?” I ask. “At least you had the ability to piss off.”

“Draco,” she sighs. “Can we please not ruin this by fighting again?”

“Ruin what, exactly?”

“Our date.”

“Oh, you mean the date that you conveniently planned in a Muggle area?” I ask. She goes
silent. “Yeah, don’t think I didn’t notice that, Granger. It was clever, honestly. Muggle area so
very little possibility that anyone would recognize us. We might not be in a broom closet but
we’re still hiding!” I say before walking off.

“Why is nothing ever good enough for you?!” she asks as she chases after me.

“ You are good enough for me!” I shout as I turn to face her. “Too good, even. Look, I’m
flattered that you skipped class for me but it’s not going to change how I feel.”

Granger lowers herself until she’s sitting on the curb and buries her face in her hands. The
ground is filthy but I sit beside her anyways. She’s crying again. Despite her best efforts and
muffling her sniffles, I can hear them. Placing my hand on her back, I pull her into me and
kiss her forehead.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry,” I say. “I appreciate you doing this. Even if it did
lead to me having to listen to some dull-witted Muggles.” Her body shakes slightly as she lets
out a small laugh. “I’ll try to be more patient,” I tell her. “But only if you stop entertaining
Knox and Weasley.”

She looks up at me and nods. “Okay but I still don’t think that they’re actually flirting with
me.”

I wipe the tears from her cheek with my thumb and say, “You’re a bloody brilliant woman,
Granger, but you’re completely daft when it comes to men.”

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 24
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

February 26 1996

We're down by the black lake, my back propped against the base of the tree while she sits
between my legs. It's still a bit cold out so most students prefer to stay indoors which allows
us to come out here undisturbed.

"Can you show me how to make one?" she asks, holding up the paper crane I made for her.

I tear a piece of paper out of my notebook and walk her through the steps while she watches
carefully, mimicking each fold I make.

By the end I have a perfectly made paper crane while she has one that looks like it was in a
terrible accident. She instantly tears out another piece of paper and commands me to show
her again. Granger does not take well to being bad at something.

After a few more failed attempts she calls it a day, pouting of course.

"I'll make you as many as you'd like," I tell her. "There’s no need to be a brat about it."

"I'm not being a brat," she whines.

"Right,” I chuckle. "Not at all."

She sits up and turns to face me, eyes narrowed as she attempts to look intimidating.

"Come here you wretch." I grab her by the waist and draw her into me, her hands resting on
my knees to support her weight as our lips meet.

Things have been better since our excursion to London. The only fights we've had were over
her greedy self eating all of the sweets. Knox seems to have taken the hint and left her be,
Weasley not so much but that is a more difficult task as he just has to be one of her best
friends, but at least the physical contact has become minimal.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, it's my natural color,” I reply as I run a hand through my hair.

"No, not that," she says, rolling her eyes as she sits back down. "What's the scar from that's
on your right shoulder blade?”

It takes me a moment to realize what she's referring to. I never see the bloody damn thing
since it's on my back and my friends know better than to ever bring it up to me after what
happened when Pansy had asked third year.
"My father,” Isimply state, praying that she doesn't ask any further questions but of course
she does.

"Why did he-how did he-"

"Like I told you a while back, Granger, nothing is ever good enough for him, especially me."

"So he hurt you because you disappointed him?" she asks.

"In simple terms," I shrug. She's not going to let this go, I know she’s not. I let out a sigh
before continuing. "When his friends asked who was top of our class I couldn't tell them that
it was me. He waited until they left to dig a knife in my back. Couldn’t let them know he had
a failure son and that he was abusive."

Granger is silent as she gives me that look that I loathe. It’s the same one Pansy and all of my
friends gave me when they first found out the type of man my father truly is. I hate it. I don't
want to be pitied. People pity the weak and I am not weak. I'm not some fragile thing that
needs to be handled with care. I have a shitty father and a mother who refuses to ever stand
up for herself but that doesn’t warrant me sympathy.

"Do I need to go break some fourth year's leg to wipe that dreadful look off your face?" I
ask.

"Why do you do that, Draco?"

"Do what?"

"Deflect,” she says. "And act like your trauma isn't a big deal."

"Trauma?" I mock. "I assure you, Granger, my father driving a blade into me was not
traumatic. It was painful, yeah, but expected. Did you really think he was the type of parent
to slap me on the wrist and tell me to try harder next time?"

“No but–”

“I. Don’t. Have. Trauma,” I sternly state.

“Okay,” she says quietly as she nods her head. “Was that the only time he’s done that to
you?” she asks nervously.

“No,” I sigh. “It’s just the only one that left a scar. The blade was cursed. It took almost an
entire year for it to fully heal.” I reach for my notebook and rip out another piece of paper.
“Should we see if your origami skills have improved?”

“Does your mother know?”

“Merlin, Granger, what’s with the fucking questions today?” I groan, folding the paper.
“Does that brain of yours ever turn off?”

“Rarely.”
“Figured.” I flip over the paper and crease it once more.

“I just want to know you,” she tells me.

“You do know me,” I say, bending and gathering the edges. “Whether or not my mother stood
idly by while my father dealt his punishments has nothing to do with who I am.” I hold the
crane out for her but pull it back when she reaches for it. “It’s my turn to ask the questions.”
After she agrees, I hand it to her.

So many questions come to mind when it comes to her. Why do you continue to associate
with bottom feeders like Potter and Weasley? How come you never wear muggle jeans at
school? Do you wish I was different? I don’t even need to bother with asking the last one. Of
course she does. She once listed off every unacceptable quality in a partner and I checked off
almost every box. Really makes one wonder what she’s even doing with someone like me.

Suddenly, I remember the one question that I’ve always truly wanted the answer to. “Why did
you allow Snape to perform legilimency on you?” I ask. “The real answer this time.”

Her nail finds its way between her teeth, an obvious sign that the question caught her off
guard and she doesn’t know how to respond. “I– I can’t tell you,” she stutters.

“Of course,” I scoff. “I tell you about being my father’s own personal cutting board and you
can’t even answer one simple bloody question.” Gently, I push her off of me and stand up.

“But it’s not a simple answer, Draco,” she says, trailing after me. “And it’s not even mine to
really tell.”

Stopping, I turn to face her again and ask, “Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do,” she replies.

“Then answer my question,” I plea. “What was so important that you gave up your privacy to
him?”

Her eyes are darting around as she anxiously picks at the skin on her arm, something she only
ever does when it involves… you’ve got to be kidding me.

“Potter,” I exhale. “What does he need from you this time?”

“I told you to not use legilimency on me like that, Draco!” she hisses.

“Fucking hell, Granger, I didn’t! You’re easier to read than a damn book, but it’s nice to
know you’d think I’d go against your wishes,” I scoff.

“Well, it’s not like you haven’t before!”

My jaw clenches. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” she asks, angrily crossing her arms.

 “Turn this on me! I didn’t do shit. So for once can you just be fucking honest and tell me why
Potter asked that of you?!”

Her defensive stance falters, but only for a moment. “He didn’t ask me to do anything. I can
make decisions for myself.”

“But he has something to do with it, doesn’t he?”

She looks off to the side, biting down on the inside of her cheek. Her shoulders relax slightly
and her hand releases, no longer balled in a fist. “I was just testing a theory,” she tells me.

“On what?”

No response.

“Granger.” I grab her cheek and turn her head to face me but she continues to avert her eyes.
“Granger, look at me.” She lets out a deep breath before doing as I requested. “I can help you
but you need to tell me what’s going on.”

Her eyes look between mine as her fingers wrap around my wrist. I hate seeing her like this.
She’s stressed and struggling. She will never be the one to ask for help even if she
desperately needs it.

“I want to help you. Please, let me help you,” I plea.

“I can’t,” she cries before running off.

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 25
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

I gave her a five minute head start before going after her. I wouldn’t say I ran, it was more of
a brisk walk, but considering her strides are nearly a third of mine, I was able to catfish up
rather quickly.

As I push through a group of third years crowding the corridor, one of them falls to the
ground and starts to yell at me but as soon as he locks eyes with me, he promptly shuts his
mouth. Smart thinking on his end and very appreciated. I’m too busy to deal with that right
now.

Just as Granger reaches the Gryffindor common room entrance, I corner her and grab her by
the elbow to stop her. She greets me with a harsh slap across my cheek. Unphased by the
action, I pin her against the wall and tightly grip her wrist.

“I’ll let that one slide,” I say.

Her face is flushed and her eyes are bloodshot. “I’m sorry,” she says, her head dropping as
she chokes back her tears. “I didn’t mean to do that.”

I place a finger under her chin and tilt her head so she’s looking at me. “Are you going to tell
me what’s going on now?”

“I told you, I can’t.” She shakes her head. “Harry, he–”

“Did he hurt you?” My jaw clicks and my eyes darken. “I’ll fucking kill him.”

“No!” she cries out. “He didn’t do anything to me.”

“Then why are you crying?”

Silence.

“Dammit, Granger!” I shout as I punch the brick wall behind her, causing more tears to
stream down her face.

Like the true hero he paints himself out to be, Potter appears from behind the portrait, rage
consuming his eyes as he takes in the scene before him. “Let go of her, Malfoy!” he demands
as he lunges for me.

Shoving him back, I say, “Piss off, Potter!”

He regains his footing and cracks his neck before stepping forward and slamming his hands
against my chest in an attempt to push me. I respond with a harsh smack on the back of his
head.
“Did you not understand me the first time? Piss off!” I growl before turning back to Granger.
“Come with me, we can go talk somewhere,” I whisper to her.

“She’s not going anywhere with you!” He’s now pointing his wand at me. “Hermione, get
behind me.”

Releasing Granger’s wrist, I position myself in between them and turn my attention back to
Potter. “You’re really starting to get on my nerves,” I say before stepping into him. In one
swift motion, I grab his hand, twist his arm behind his back and squeeze until he eventually
drops his wand. “If you ask nicely, I’ll spare you a broken arm,” I offer.

“Go to hell, Malfoy,” he spits out.

“That was not very nice.” As I twist his arm further, he lets out a pain filled grunt.

I’m just about to snap his arm in two when Granger shouts for me to stop. Stepping out from
behind me, she says, “Let him go.” Her voice is calm and soft as she rests her hand on top of
mine. “Let him go, Draco ,” she repeats, causing my eye to twitch.

Letting go of his arm, I push Potter forward and watch as Granger checks on him. Once he’s
convinced her that he’s fine, he rushes forward and punches me in the jaw.

What a little shit.

“Harry, stop!” Granger squeals.

I spit the blood from my mouth on the ground before grabbing his fist mid swing. “I’m only
offering one free pass today, Potter,” I say. “And you’ve reached your limit.”

Yanking his arm away, he returns to Granger’s side and wraps his arm around her. “Come on,
Hermione. Let’s go inside.”

“You go, I’ll be right behind you.”

“Mione…”

“Harry,” she says sternly. “Go.”

He stares me down for a brief moment before finally disappearing back behind the portrait.
Once he’s gone, she walks up to me and frantically begins checking my jaw and knuckle.

“Are you okay?”

“Splendid, Granger,” I say bitterly. “Must be national hit Draco in the face day.”

“I told you that I didn’t mean to and Harry, he–”

“I don’t give a fuck,” I snap, cutting her off. “I just want to know what the hell is going on
with you. I’ll stay your secret but I won’t tolerate you keeping secrets from me.”
She runs her hands down her face as she lets out a deep sigh. “Okay,” she says, finally giving
in. “Meet me in the astronomy tower at 10:30.”

“That won’t work.” She gives me a confused look. “There’s an astronomy paper due
tomorrow,” I explain. “Students will be up there all night to work on it.”

“Oh.”

“You can come to the Slytherin common room though.”

“That’s not exactly laying low, Draco.”

“No one will be there. There’s a party tonight.”

“On a Monday?” she asks, clearly appalled by the statement. Sometimes I forget how big of a
stickler she is.

“Yes, on a Monday,” I chuckle.

“Fine,” she sighs. “I’ll be there at 10:30.” Granger quickly checks our surroundings to make
sure we’re alone before giving me a kiss on the cheek.

As she’s turning away to head into her common room, I grab her hand and say, “Don’t bother
showing up if you aren’t going to be honest with.”

Slytherin Common Room

“Open please,” I hear her kindly request on the other side of the door. Shortly after, there are
three soft knocks and for a moment, I consider letting her stand out there and continue on
with her pleasantries. I don’t though and eventually go over and open the door for her.

“Are you selling something?” I ask as I stand in the doorway.

“What?” Her head cocks. “No?”

“Then why are you knocking?”

“To let you know that I’m here,” she says.

“I already knew you were here, Granger,” I say. “I also know that you arrived five minutes
early and paced around the dungeons until it was precisely 10:30,” I tease.

“You just know me so well huh?” she mocks.

“That I do,” I smirk.

“Well, are you going to let me in or not?”

Stepping aside, I hold open the door and motion for her to come in. As she enters, her eyes
double in size as she scans the room.

“You’re acting like you’ve never been here before,” I say.

“It was different last time,” she says. “I didn’t have much time to properly look at it.”

“And now that you have?”

“I like it,” she smiles at me. “It reminds me of you.”

“Right, well, if you’re done comparing me to my common room, we can head up to my

dorm.”

She nods her head and follows me up the stairs. Once we’re in my room, she heads straight
over to my book case. “I didn’t know you liked Jane Austen.”

“I don’t.”

“Then what’s this?” she asks, holding up one of the books that clearly has the name Jane
Austen on it.

“That was one of my many attempts at understanding you,” I say. Her eyebrows knit together
in confusion. “It was the only other book I’ve ever seen you carry around.”

“This is a Muggle book though.”

“Yes and it pains me every day to see it touch bindings with the works of Gainsworth and
Waffling,” I say as I take the book from her hand and return it to its proper place on the shelf.
“Alright, that’s enough delaying, Granger. I believe there’s something you wish to share with
me?”

“Right,” she sighs. “You might want to sit down.”

“I really don’t see a need for that. Unless you’re about to tell me you’re pregnant which
shouldn’t even be possible since we got you on the contraceptive ch–”

“Draco,” she says sternly.

Letting out an irritated sigh, I do as requested and lower myself onto the edge of my bed.
“There, happy?”

“Yes, thank you,” she says. “Okay, before I begin I need you to promise not to tell anyone
what I’m about to say.”

“I think I’ve already proven that I’m fully capable of keeping my mouth shut. Besides, who
would I even tell?”

“Swear to it, Draco!” she commands.

“Merlin’s left tit, Granger! Alright, I swear.”

She lets out a breath of relief. “Okay, good.” She begins picking at her bottom lip as she
paces the room.

I wasn’t worried at first but now I find myself wiping the sweat off my hands onto my pants
every few seconds. I can feel my heart rate spiking but I’m trying my best to maintain my
composure.

“The real reason I asked Professor Snape to perform legilimency on me is because of the
Dark Lord,” she finally says.

Instantly, I shoot up to my feet and narrow my eyes. “Granger what–”

“Sit back down.” Her hands push down on my shoulders, lowering me back onto the bed.
“Let me explain everything first and then you can ask questions.”

I roll my eyes but agree. Granger proceeds to explain to me that Potter has been experiencing
some sort of visions, ones that he believes are from the Dark Lord himself. She then tells me
that when we discussed oclumens also using legilimency, it gave her an idea but she didn’t
want to propose it to him until she had a more solid foundation and understanding of how it
worked.

“I wanted to know what legilimency felt like,” she tells me. “I wanted to try and see if it was
like what Harry had described to me. Even though I didn’t see any of Professor Snape’s
memories, the feeling was similar. Invasive and brutal. It all started to come together after
that, my plan. Harry can use occlumency to keep the Dark Lord out and then also use
legilimency to peek into his and gather any useful information.”

“Am I allowed to speak now?” I ask, my tone a bit condescending but she chooses to ignore
it.

“Yes, you may.”

“Terrific. There’s one problem with your plan,” I say. “Potter is a shit occlumens. His mind is
a wide open gate. It’s really no shock to me that Voldemort was able to penetrate it so easily.”

“Don’t say his name!” Her eyes are full of fear as she looks around the room, as if he was
about to appear at any moment.

“Why not? He’s already laid his eggs in Potter’s deformed head,” I shrug. “I also still don’t
see why you felt like you couldn’t tell me any of this.”

Granger’s shoulders relax. “Harry didn’t want anyone to know about his visions.”

My head cocks. “I didn’t realize I was just anyone.”

“You’re not, it’s just…” she trails off.

There’s more. Of course there’s more.

“Say it, Granger.”

“No, it’s honestly quite stupid,” she says, shaking her head.

“Then it should be a fairly easy thing to say.”

She takes a deep breath before saying, “Harry believes that,” she pauses for a moment, “he
believes that you’re going to become a Death Eater.”

Granger watches me carefully, waiting for some sort of reaction, but I have none. I’m not
surprised by the accusation, the twat has been going around saying it for years now.
Sometimes even to my face.

“Alright,” I say calmly.

“Alright?” she asks.

“Yes, alright,” I repeat. “Is that not an appropriate response?”

“Not when someone is accusing you of being a cruel Death Eater!”

“I’m already cruel. So really, it’s only a matter of titles that sets us apart at this point,” I
casually say.

“No!” She takes my face between her hands. “You are not like them and you are nothing like
your father,” she says. “You are a good man, Draco Malfoy. Whether you choose to believe it
or not.”

“As long as you think so, Granger.” My eyes are trained on her lips as I feel the warmth of
her breath brush against my cheek.

Placing my hand on her inner thigh, I slowly make my way up and under her skirt. My finger
is curled around the thin fabric of her knickers when suddenly, there’s a loud crash from
downstairs.

“What was that?” she gasps.

Standing, I walk over to the door and stick my head out into the hallway. “They’re back,” I
say as I close the door.

Her eyes widen. “I thought you said they would be at a party?”

“They were and now they’re back. It’s really not that difficult of a concept.”

Granger smacks me in the chest before walking over to the door and checking for herself. She
quickly closes the door when she sees some students heading up the stairs.

“How am I supposed to leave?”

“Easy, we head down hand in hand, stroll through the common room, I give you a nice kiss
goodnight and you walk out the door.”

“Draco,” she groans as she glares at me, her hand on her hip.

“Figured you’d react that way,” I smirk. “Looks like you’re sleeping here, Granger.”

“Here?! With you?”

“It’s either that or my first suggestion,” I say as I walk over to my dresser and pull out a t-
shirt and pajama pants.

“Surely they’ll go to bed soon,” she says. “I can sneak out once everyone is in their dorm.”

I hand her the clothes before grabbing the book off my nightstand and settling into the
armchair by the window. “Theo and Pansy have been occupying the couches. Their
roommates aren’t too fond of listening to them snog all night,” I tell her as I flip open my
book.

“They have roommates?”

“No, I just made that up for fun,” I drawl.

“But, you don’t have one?”

“Contrary to popular belief, money can buy you happiness.”

Granger tiptoes around for a bit before finally crawling into my bed. “So, I’m sleeping here.”

I look up from my book and over at her. “Is that a question or a statement?”

“I will be sleeping here with you,” she rephrases.

“If that’s what you decided on.”

Her hand brushes over the silk sheets. “Do you have a preferred side you like sleeping on?”

“The left,” I tell her. “But you can sleep wherever you’d like. Take the middle if you so
desire.”

She lets out a small giggle. “I don’t think that would be very comfortable for you.”

“I’ll be perfectly comfortable over here,” I say, patting the armrest of my chair.

She tilts her head. “You’re sleeping there?”

I nod.

“Why?”

“I don’t share a bed, Granger. Not when sleeping.”

 “Afraid you might wet the bed?” she teases.

“Something like that.”

Granger rolls her eyes before grabbing the clothes I gave her and sliding out of bed. I fully
expected her to go into the bathroom and change but instead, she begins stripping out of her
uniform right in front of me. My grip tightens onto the book in my hand as I watch her skirt
falls down to her ankles. Her cheeks flush as she stands before me in nothing more than her
knickers and bra.

“Take it off,” I instruct.

“This?” she asks, looking at my innocently as she points to her bra.

“Yes.”

Her hand slowly slips behind her back and unclasps it, revealing herself to me. My knuckles
are white now from how hard I’m gripping this damn book. As Granger reaches for the shirt I
gave her, she perfectly arches her back, displaying her every curve. I watch as she puts on my
t-shirt but opts out of the pants, leaving her legs bare.

Getting up, I step towards the bed to join her but she raises a finger to stop me. “What do you
think you’re doing?” she asks.

“I’m coming over there to show you just how much I enjoyed watching that little strip tease
of yours,” I reply.

“You’re the one who said you don’t share a bed, remember?”

“For sleeping purposes,” I say.

“Precisely and I am awfully tired.” She lifts her arms up and pretends to yawn before lying
down.

This witch.

“Goodnight, Draco,” she smiles as she closes her eyes.

Walking over to the side of the bed, I pull the blanket up and cover her before placing a kiss
on her forehead.

“Night, Granger.”

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 26
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

February 27 1996

"What in Merlin’s shriveled left testicle is this?!”

My eyes dart open and over to my dorm door where Blaise is standing, a smug look painted
on his face. Thankfully Granger is a heavy sleeper, she doesn’t even flinch at the sudden
intrusion.

“Blaise, did you tell him or not–” Pansy stops dead in her tracks, her jaw practically on the
floor as she stares at the Gryffindor in my bed. “The fuck is this?!”

Getting up from my chair, I walk over to the door and push them both out. “Haven’t either of
you ever heard of knocking?” I ask as I quietly close the door behind me.

“You don’t get to act like that,” Pansy scolds. “Especially since we just caught her in your
bed!”

“What in Godric’s name is taking so long?” Theo says as he approaches. “We’re going to be
late for breakfast.”

“Screw breakfast, Theo! There are more important things to tend to,” Blaise says.

“What are you going on about?”

“This bastard,” Blaise proudly pats my back, “is shagging Hermione fucking Granger.”

Theo’s eyes widen and his jaw falls open just like Pansy’s had. “You’ve got to be fucking
kidding me. I was supposed to be the one to deflower that uptight witch,” he jokes, which
earns him a slap from Pansy. He offers her an apology before returning his attention back to
me. “So, when did this start?”

I pinch the bridge of my nose as I pull in a deep breath. It’s far too early to be having this
discussion and I slept like shit. “We’ll discuss this later,” I say. They all respond with
different variations of no, some more harsh than others. “It wasn’t a fucking request,” I snarl.
“I’ll meet up with you all later and don’t you dare speak of this to anyone. Especially you ,
Pans, keep that big mouth of yours fucking shut.”

She rolls her eyes at me but doesn’t argue. Once they all leave, I head back into my room and
sit on the edge of the bed. “Granger,” I whisper as I lightly shake her. “Granger, it’s time to
get up.”

Her eyes flutter open and her mouth slowly pulls into a soft smile. “Good morning,” she says.
“Morning,” I smile as I brush the hair out of her face.

Even with her messy hair and dried drool on the corner of her mouth, she’s still the most
breathtaking woman I have ever seen.

“Everyone has left for breakfast,” I tell her. “It’s time to get you out.”

Granger quickly changes back into her uniform and we make our way down to the common
room. Just as we’re about to leave I hand her a roll of parchment.

“What’s this?”

“A guide to occlumency written by yours truly. It’s for Potter,” I say. “I still think he’s utterly
fucked but I know how stubborn you are and, for reasons unbeknownst to me, you care a lot
about him. I’d also prefer it if you didn’t return to Snape for help.”

Immediately I’m pushed up against the wall and her lips are devouring mine. When she pulls
away, her face is beaming as she tightly clutches the parchment.

“Like I said, you’re a good man, Draco Malfoy.”

“Only for you, Hermione Granger.”

***

After Granger and I parted ways, I headed to the Great Hall to meet with Theo, Blaise and
Pansy. When I take my seat, they all stare at me and impatiently wait for me to speak.
Knowing that, I take my sweet time pouring myself a cup of tea. It’s not until after I’ve
finished half of it that I finally meet their gaze.

“How was the party last night?” I ask.

Blaise grabs a piece of toast from his plate and throws it at me.

“Dammit, Blaise, I just got this cleaned,” I say as I wipe the butter from my robes.

“I think you owe us an explanation,” Pansy says.

“I don’t owe any of you shit,” I scoff.

“She slept in your bed, Draco!”

“And so have you,” I argue. “But that didn’t mean anything, so what makes you think this is
any different?”

My eyes travel over to my right, watching as Granger enters and strolls over to the Gryffindor
table. Theo nudges me with his elbow to regain my attention.
“Mate, we’re not dumb,” he says.

“Arguable,” I murmur.

He ignores my comment and says, “We just want to understand.”

“Understand what, exactly?”

“How you managed to snag her,” Blaise bluntly states. “I mean, you two don’t necessarily
make sense.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because she’s Hermione Granger, best friend of the chosen one and you’re, well… you,” he
shrugs. “No offense though.”

“Charming as always, Balise.” I roll my eyes as I take another sip of my tea. “Just drop it, all
of you. There’s nothing to know so don’t bring it up again.”

***

As we’re leaving the Great Hall, Theo and Blaise let me know that there’s a team meeting
tonight. Just as I’m walking away, Pansy grabs my arm and pulls me aside.

“You need to be careful,” she warns.

“It’s just a team meeting, Pans. I think I’ll be fine.”

She shakes her head. “Not with that. I meant with Granger. I know you’re finally getting
what you’ve always wanted but you need to be cautious.”

“I know the contraceptive charm,” I say. “I am, after all, the one who taught it to you.”

“You’re not listening! You and her aren’t right for each other and it’s only a matter of time
until she realizes it too, if she hasn’t already,” she says. “Things are about to happen and
she…” She pauses for a moment. “She won’t understand,” Pansy sighs. “It’ll never work.”

Anger instantly floods my body. “You think I don’t know this?” I snap. Students around us
stop and stare but I couldn’t care less. “You think I don’t know that whatever Granger and I
have is completely going against nature? That, despite her dirty blood, she is and will always
be too good for me?” My jaw clenches and my eyes darken. “I know what’s coming, Pans. I
know that sooner than later, all of us will be forced to choose a side and that she and I will
pick differently. So, if you don’t mind, I’d like to enjoy what time I have left as a free man
with the girl who makes waking up every day worth it.”

Pansy lets out an empathetic sigh and gently squeezes my arm. “I’m only trying to protect
you, Draco,” she says. “She’s just going to end up hurting you.”

“My whole life has been nothing but pain,” I shrug. “I’ll survive. Just like I always have.”
 ***

Theo, Blaise and I return to the common room after our quidditch meeting. We’re in the
middle of discussing the new plays when I spot Granger sitting uncomfortably by the fire.
Across from her is, of course, Pansy.

“What are you doing here?” I say.

“I asked her to come,” Pansy says. “Well, technically you did.”

Granger retrieves a note from her pocket and hands it to me.

Granger,

Meet me in the Slytherin common room tonight at 6.

-d.m.

I crumple the note and toss it into the fire. “At least you attempted to mimic my handwriting
this time,” I say to Pansy. “Come on, let’s go.” I hold my hand out for Granger but Pansy
yells for us to stay put. “I’ve never once taken orders from you so what makes you believe I
will now?”

“If you two insist on continuing to gallivant about, then we, your friends, have the right to
speak with her,” Pansy says.

Granger looks up at me. “How does she…?”

“They saw you in my room this morning.”

Theo and Blaise take a seat on the couch beside Pansy and as much as I want to tell them all
to piss off and mind their business, I know that they’ll never let this go. So, I take a seat
beside Granger and motion for Pansy to continue.

“What are your intentions with Draco?” Pansy asks her.

“Pardon me?” Granger says.

“Your intentions,” she repeats. “What are they? Are you merely using him for his body and
inheritance or do you actually enjoy his shite personality?”

“Careful Parkinson,” I say with a warning tone before turning to Granger and nodding,
signaling for her to answer.

Granger clears her throat and adjusts her posture before saying, “I’m quite fond of his
personality and his body.”
“So you’re not just after his inheritance?” Pansy asks.

“No.”

“You aren’t using him just to make Weasley jealous?”

“Also no.”

“How did the two sods take it when they found out you were letting dear old Draco between
your legs?”

“I–er–” Granger stammers.

Pansy stares at her for a moment, waiting for her to finish her sentence. When she doesn’t, a
mischievous look creeps across her face. “I should have figured,” she laughs, leaning back
into the couch and crossing her legs. “They have no idea, do they?”

“No, but–”

“Is it embarrassment? Shame? Or a combination of both?”

“Neither, I just–”

Pansy cuts her off again. “Honestly, if anyone should be either of those things it should be
him. You are a filthy mudblood after all.”

“Watch your fucking mouth,” I threaten.

“I told you, Draco. You two will never work and darling Granger here is fully aware of that,”
Pansy says. “That’s probably why she refuses to tell her little friends. Save herself the
humiliation when she inevitably breaks it off. Look, I get it,” she says to Granger. “He’s a
good shag and there’s a thrill with sneaking around with the enemy.”

Granger looks like she’s on the verge of tears. “I shouldn’t be here,” she says before shooting
up to her feet and running out of the room.

“You’re a real bitch, you know that?” I scowl at Pansy.

“Maybe,” she shrugs. “But at least I was never ashamed of you or kept you hidden.”

“Get your witch in line, Theo, or I swear I’ll kill her,” I say before chasing after Granger.

Stepping out into the dungeons, I spot her just down the corridor. She’s on the ground, her
knees pulled into her chest and her face buried in her hands. Bending down, I place my hand
on her back, causing her to flinch.

“It’s just me,” I say softly.

“I’m not ashamed or embarrassed of you, Draco,” she cries.

“I know.”
“I’m not keeping us a secret to be malicious.”

“I know.”

“I’m just scared.” Tears are streaming down her cheeks as she chokes on her words. “And I…
don’t want… to hear… them talk poorly of you.”

“Granger, I know.”

“They don’t know you like I do,” she continues, her voice trembling. “They’ll only judge you
on the bad things you’ve done, no matter what I tell them.”

“I don’t care what your friends think of me,” I tell her as I wipe her tears with my thumb.

“But I do! I know what they’ll say if I told them. I know how they’ll view me.”

My hand drops from her face and I stand up. It feels like I’ve just had the wind knocked out
of me.

“What?” she asks, looking up at me.

“Pansy might have been wrong about your reasoning, but I wasn’t,” I say.

Granger gets up to her feet and tilts her head. “What.. what are you talking about?”

“It all comes down to you . I could have murdered someone and that still wouldn’t be the
actual reason you insist on keeping us a secret.”

“Draco..” she attempts to grab my hand but I take a step back so that I’m out of reach.

“Don’t. Fucking. Touch. Me.”

“I.. I don’t understand.” She shakes her head. “What are you going on about?”

“You know, everyone always says that I’m selfish and they’re right. Which means I’m fairly
good at spotting when someone else is too,” I say, my eyes darkening. “You aren’t worried
about Potter or Weasley’s perception of me. You’re worried about their perception of you .”

“Draco–”

“You can’t bear the idea that they will see you as anything other than the brilliant, level
headed, kind hearted and selfless friend you’ve always been. And if you told them that you
were dating me, well, that would rip that entire image up, wouldn’t it?” I angrily chuckle.
“You say you’re doing this because you want to protect us, because you don’t want to hear
the bad things they’ll say about me and all of this other bull shit but, in reality, it’s because
you don’t want to hear all of the bad things they’ll say about you when they find out that
you’re dating a fucked up person like me, isn’t that right, Granger?”

“Draco, please–”
“Do you want to know something pathetic?” I ask. “My friends could never speak to me
again and my family could disown me but as long as I have you, I would be the happiest man
alive. But not you, Granger. Me loving you will never be enough. You need everyone to love
you.”

“You.. do you?” she asks as she takes a cautious step towards me. “Do you love me, Draco?”

“Does it fucking matter?”

“Yes, of course it does!”

“Why?! Would it change anything? Would you finally tell your friends about us? Would you
stop hiding me like some dirty secret?”

She doesn’t respond.

“Figured,” I scoff. “You should leave. Like you said, you shouldn’t be here.”

“Stop!” Granger positions herself between me and the entrance to the common room. “This is
exactly what Pansy wanted to happen.”

“It probably is and maybe she was right for wanting it.”

“Do you ever stop and wonder why she keeps doing this?” she asks, her voice raising. “Do
you ever think about why she constantly insists on interfering?”

“Pansy is annoying and makes a lot of stupid choices,” I shrug. “If I were to spend time
dissecting it, I’d never get anything else done.”

“I think it’s because she loves you,” Granger says.

I can’t help but laugh in her face. “Gods, Granger, are you really that fucking daft?! That
witch doesn’t love me. In case you failed to notice, she and Theo have been together for some
time now.”

“That doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings for you,” she argues.

“If there’s anything Pansy has feelings for, it’s my inheritance,” I reply. “She’s a friend who
sticks her nose in places it doesn’t belong, that’s it.”

“Do friends sleep with each other?” she sneers as she crosses her arms and shifts her weight
to one side. “I know that you two were sleeping together in fourth year.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Do I look like I am?” she challenges.

“Fine, if you want to play this game then we can. Yes, Pans and I used to shag. There,
happy?” Her lips part as she prepares to respond but before she can, I say, “And since we’re
 at it, you should also know about everyone else too. Let’s see, there was Bell, Clearwater, Li,
the Davis sisters–”

“That’s enough, Draco!”

“Oh but isn’t this what you wanted? To talk about the people I’ve slept with?”

“No and you’re just being cruel!”

My eyes narrow as I take a step into her. “Correct and I always will be,” I say, my voice low
and threatening. “All I am and will ever be is cruel. And if you weren’t so worried about your
precious little image, you would’ve taken the time to realize that.”

“Fuck you, Draco!” she spits out.

“Yeah, fuck you too, Granger.”

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 27
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

February 29 1996

I’ve barely eaten. I’ve barely slept. I’ve barely done anything other than think about Granger
who, since our fight, I haven’t spoken to.

Pansy has been all too happy about that fact. She’s been prancing around and any chance she
gets, she tells me she told me so and that I should listen to her more often.

Blaise and Theo have wisely avoided the topic altogether and have focused solely on our
game today. It’s the first time we’re playing since the bludger incident so the entire team is
filled with excitement. Not me though.

My focus is shit and I barely have enough energy to stay on my bloody broom. It also doesn’t
help that there are strong winds today. As everyone flies around, I just sit there and look like
an absolute moron. I haven’t a clue where the snitch is and I really can’t be bothered to try
and find it.

All I can think about is the fact that Granger isn’t in her usual spot in the stands between
Potter and Weasley. I don’t know if she’s been attending classes or not because I’ve chosen to
lock myself in my dorm.

I don’t know how long I’ve just been floating her, staring off into the distance, but it must’ve
been a while because suddenly there’s a loud horn and cheering from the Ravenclaw student
section.

“Cho has caught the golden snitch! Ravenclaw has won!”

We lost our first game back and truthfully? I couldn’t care less.

March 10 1996

For the last three days Blaise has been threatening to drag me to the hospital wing and
admitting me for, “Turning into a complete sad sack of balls,” as he so kindly put it.

Pansy has been barging into my room every night with a plate of food which always goes
untouched. She usually just tells me about the latest rumors or people that have annoyed her
but today, she’s brought up Granger.

“She looks almost as bad as you. She didn’t even bother correct Flitwick on the
pronunciation of a spell and even I knew that he said it incorrectly.”
Good.

I don't feel as pathetic now that I know that she isn't doing well either.

March 20 1996

"Mr. Malfoy!" Professor McGonagall calls out. I stop in the middle of the corridor, turn
around and wait for her to catch up to me. "I've been meaning to speak with you for some
time now but you have been absent from class the past few weeks."

"I haven't been feeling well,” I tell her.

“Mm,” she hums. “I can see that.” Her eyes take in my appearance as she adjusts my crooked
tie. “I just wanted to remind you of the party next Friday. All of the other students who
worked on the research paper have RSVP’d. All except for you.”

I'm about to respectfully decline but she speaks before I am able to.

"I'm afraid it is mandatory, Mr. Malfoy. We will be announcing whose paper was chosen."

Great.

"It begins at 7. Feel free to bring a plus one, if you'd like."

March 29 1996

I’m slipping on my coat as I descended the last stair into the common room when Blaise
looks over and starts slowly clapping.

"Amazing!” he cheers. “The man has finally rediscovered the shower!"

"Going somewhere handsome?" Theo smiles.

“Yep, I’m on my way to go visit your mom,” I smirk. “She always told me she liked the way
I looked in a suit.”

"You're a proper git."

"A git that is about to become your new step father," I reply. "Make sure you're in bed by
10."

He grabs a handful of sweets from the box beside him and throws it at me as I walk out.

**

I’m halfway to where the party is being held when I check my watch for the time. I don’t
want to be a prat who is on time or, even worse, early so I decide to slow down my pace.
As I’m strolling through the corridors I can’t help but wonder what would happen if I turned
around now and went back to my dorm. Sure, McGonagall said it was mandatory but what
will she do if I don’t show? Give me detention? In all honesty I’d rather do that than endure a
night of mingling.

Against my better judgement, I continue on and arrive 15 minutes late. Which is technically
early for me.

Stepping inside, McGonagall greets me and tells me that the dinner will be served in a half
hour. I head to the back of the room and pull the flask out from the inside pocket of my coat.
I pour the contents down my throat, letting the liquor burn its way through, not caring if
anyone notices.

As I scan the room, I notice that Granger is nowhere to be found which is odd considering
McGonagall said everyone RSVP’d and Granger would sooner shave her head than be late. I
vividly remember all the times she lectured me on the importance of arriving places early.

I should honestly be relieved that she’s not here but I’m not. She’s the most frustrating person
I have ever met and she angers me like no other, but she’s like a drug to me. No matter what I
do, I always crave her and it’s been so long since I’ve last seen her. This isn’t the first time
we’ve had a fight and in the past we’ve always found our way back to each other, even if we
shouldn’t. I think she’s just as addicted to me as I am to her.

My pride usually wins in most cases but with this one? With her ? I’ll happily push it aside if
it means getting her back. It’s really the only reason I came tonight.

Remaining in the back of the room, I take another sip from my flask as I wait for Granger’s
arrival.

“I believe drinking on school grounds is worth a reduction of 80 house points, Mr. Malfoy,”
Snape’s slow and monotone voice says from behind me.

Turning, I look up at him and say, “And I believe performing legilimency on a student
warrants immediate suspension, Professor .”

His eyebrow makes the slightest arch as he folds his hands behind his back. “I read yours and
Miss Granger’s paper. It appears my demonstration was of great use for the two of you.”

“I can assure you that Miss Granger’s momentary lapse of judgement when coming to you
made no impact on the quality of our paper. We would have produced the same results
regardless.”

“Hmm,” he hums. “I heard from a few colleagues that you two became rather.. familiar, over
the holidays. For a moment I thought perhaps something was forming between the both of
you,” his eyes shift over to the front door, “but I see I stand corrected.”

Following his gaze, I turn and see Granger entering the room.. on France fucking Knox’s
arm.
My blood boils as I watch them greet everyone with big smiles. Frances looks like a wanker
per usual and Granger.. Granger looks as beautiful as always. For someone who didn’t grow
up attending etiquette classes, she has always managed to carry herself with such grace. Her
presence alone commands a room which is unfortunate for her since she hates the attention.

I watch as Frances takes her hand in his and raises it to his lips, placing a kiss on her
knuckles as his eyes meet mine.

This twat is begging for me to kill him.

In four long strides I close the gap between us, grab him by the lapel of his jacket and punch
him in the face. Gasps erupt throughout the room as he falls to the ground. The bottom of my
shoe makes contact with the side of his head and then I bend down, lift him by the back of his
hair and say, “Stay the fuck away from her.” I’m just about to break his nose when I feel
someone’s hand on my arm, pulling me away from his barely conscious self.

“Mr. Malfoy!” McGonagall screeches. “This behavior is unacceptable! I ask that you leave
immediately.”

“With pleasure,” I say with a tight smile before jerking my arm away from Filch.

**

As I’m marching down the corridor, I yank at my tie which is suddenly feeling far too tight. I
want to rip Knox’s arms from his body, cut him open and paint the walls with his blood. And
I want to fucking kill Granger.

What a maddening, self righteous, ridiculing, grotty little witch!

I want to watch as she begs for mercy as she endures even an ounce of the pain she
continuously inflicts upon me.

I want to hold her in my arms.

I want to wrap my hand around her neck and watch as the life slowly leaves her eyes.

I want to kiss her.

I want.. I want.. I want her.

Fuck!

This fucking witch is driving me mad! I want her to die. I want her out of my life for good. I
wish I had never met her but I also desperately want to hear her say my name again. I want to
pin her against the wall and taste every inch of her. I want to continue to fight with her and
then make up and do it all over again.

I want her to fucking choose me.

I didn’t realize where I was headed, all I knew was I needed to get as far away from the party,
as far away from her , as possible. But now I find myself in the astronomy tower, my hands
gripping the railing as I look out over the edge. Even this place, the one spot that used to be
the only place I could go to breathe, is tainted by the memories of her and I.

“What the hell was that, Malfoy?!” Granger’s enraged voice cuts through the silence.

“Oh, so we’re back to Malfoy huh?” I scoff. “Guess we really are done this time. Though
your choice in a date made that pretty fucking clear.”

With my back still turned to her, I hear the sound of her heels clicking against the floor and
shortly after, she grabs my jacket and forcibly turns me around to face her.

“What in Merlin’s name is your problem?” she shouts.

" You are!"

"Is that so?"

"Yes!”

"And I assume I'm to blame for what you just did to Frances too?"

I rub my hands over my face, dragging in a deep breath as I feel all of my emotions
beginning to boil over.

File away the anger.

Lock it away.

Bury it.

“It’s also my fault that you can’t control your anger and that you have the world’s worst
fucking temper,” she continues. “Gods, Draco! You don’t get to blame everyone else for your
inability to restrain yourself! For once you need to take responsibility for your own actions.
You need to–”

“You hurt me, Hermione!” I finally snap, her name sounding foreign and feeling like a curse
as it rolls off the tip of my tongue.

There’s a pinch of satisfaction as I watch her body seize and pain flash in her eyes in
response to me using her name like a profanity.

“I told you what hurts me the most and you managed to execute it perfectly, congratulations.
High marks all around.” I pause for a moment. “I would have never done that to you,” I say,
my voice cracking. “I would have never made you feel that way.”

Granger shakes her head. “I didn’t think..”

 “That’s the problem, isn’t it?! You never fucking think!” For the first time, I’m fully yelling
at her. My voice a mixture of anger and hurt. “You just do whatever you want without ever
considering the consequences. Without ever considering me !”

“What do you want me to do? Revolve my life, my every move, around you? I would never
ask that of you!”

“You wouldn’t have to, I already do,” I reply. “You haven’t a clue how strong of a hold you
have on me or maybe you do and choose to ignore it. But regardless, you could ask me to cut
my own bloody arm off and I would. That is how much power you have over me.”

“I never asked for it to be that way,” she says, her voice frail.

“Yet at the same time, you did,” I say. “You told me that you couldn’t be with someone who
turns to violence. Have you heard of any students being sent to Madam Pomfrey on my
behalf since then? Like you said, I have a difficult time controlling my anger. But I have
been. I have been for you.”

She lowers her head. “I guess I hadn’t really noticed.”

“And why would you? The only thing anyone has ever noticed are my wrongdoings so why
would you be any different?” I slip off my coat as I walk over to the archway and take a seat
on the steps.

Shortly after, Granger joins me but makes sure to leave some space between us. Her leg is
rapidly bouncing which means she’s anxious. Even though I don’t want to, I place a gentle
hand on her knee to help calm her.

After a few more minutes of silence, I say, “I was all in.” My voice is brittle. “You were it for
me.”

“ Were ?” she ask, her own voice breaking.

I lift my head, my view of her blurred by the tears trying to force their way out. “I’m
exhausted, Granger,” I admit, sounding defeated. “I don’t have the energy for this anymore. I
thought that maybe we would work things out tonight, just like we always do, but you
showed up on another man’s arm.”

Her eyes soften. “That didn’t mean anything.”

I shake my head. “Yes it did. You made your choice and it didn’t include me. So, please , if
you ever gave a damn about me just leave me be.” I gently squeeze her knee before standing.
“All I ever wanted was for you to be happy.” Bending down, I place on last kiss on her
forehead before walking away.

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 28
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

March 30 1996

Our research paper was chosen. At least we managed to do one thing right. I'm sure she's
ecstatic, this is all she's ever dreamt of and talked about. The second I was notified I sent a
letter formally stepping away. There was no fight on McGonagall's end. I'm sure it has
something to do with my actions at the party. You break a man's jaw and all hell breaks loose
apparently.

I'm happy for Granger. I'm glad she's getting what she wants.

April 17 1996

Owls fly through the Great Hall to distribute mail like they do every morning. Today though,
Theo, Blaise, Pansy and I each have a letter dropped before us. We all stare at the black
envelopes, knowing what’s within. We’ve been wondering when they’d arrive. Silence falls
amongst us as we stare at one another, none of us daring to open the letters here.

As soon as breakfast is over, we push our way through the busy corridors, fighting against the
current of students heading to class. Once we reach our common room, we head straight up to
my dorm, lock the door, and silence the room.

“Right,” Blaise exhales. “Should we do as the Muggles say and pull it open like a band-aid?”

“I don’t think that’s how the saying goes,” Theo says.

“Whatever.” He rolls his eyes and waves a dismissive hand. “Let’s just get this over with. We
already know what it is.”

Pansy is trying her best to remain calm but I can see her hands trembling as she slides her
finger underneath the flap of the envelope. The room is quiet as our eyes scan over the
words.

Draco Lucius Malfoy,

You have been chosen for the Reformation .

Your initiation will commence July 5th. Failure to attend will be categorized as abandonment
and punishment will be handed out accordingly.

It is an honor to be selected for this program.

 May He reign forevermore.

“Well?” Pansy’s voice shakes. “What sector was everyone assigned?”

“Communications,” Blaise says as he lets out a sigh of relief.

“Figures. Even he knows you love the sound of your own voice,” Pansy mocks, trying her
best to mask her nerves. “I was placed in operations. What about you, Theo?”

His eyes glance over the words once more, double checking to make sure he read it correctly,
before looking up at us and saying, “Reformation.”

I can visibly see Pansy’s stomach drop. Snatching the letter from his grasp, she reads it over
to check for herself.

Blaise turns to me. “Draco?”

My jaw clenches. “Reformation.”

Theo collapses onto my bed and runs his hands through his hair as Pansy paces the room. I
remain in place, hands shoved into my pockets as I stare at the ground, my eyes vacant.

“This has to be some sort of mistake,” Pansy says. “I specifically remember them saying that
you had to be of age to be a part of the Reformation program and, last time I checked, neither
of you are 18.”

She continues to ramble on but I block out her voice. I knew this was a possibility. I
overheard one of the meetings over the summer and there were talks about wanting someone
younger. Someone who could go undetected in the school. The look that stained my mother’s
face ever since was enough for me to know that my name was brought up. I just wish Theo’s
wasn’t also.

“We have to do something! You can’t do this, Theo.”

“I don’t have a choice,” he says to Pansy.

“Bull shit!”

“He’s right,” I say, gaining their attention. “You read the letter. If we don’t comply, there will
be punishment and we all know what that would be.”

Pansy claims the spot beside Theo and rests her head on his shoulder. He slings his arm
around her shoulders and pulls her close as he tells her that everything will be okay. While he
comforts her, Blaise pulls me aside.

“Mate, the Reformation program is..”

“I know.”
“I mean, I know you enjoy dealing out your fair share of torture but this– you’ll have to–they
will–”

“Blaise,” I say as I place a firm hand on his shoulder. “I know.”

His eyebrows knit together as he nods and looks over at Theo and Pansy.

“You look after Pansy,” I tell him. “You two will work in close quarters. I’ll take care of
Theo.”

“Who is going to take care of you?” he asks.

“I am.”

April 24 1996

It took a few days but Pansy has finally started to calm down. She still tries to suggest us all
running away together but you can tell that even she has given up on that plan. There’s no
escaping this. It doesn’t matter how far away we go or how well we hide. He will find us.

School seems even more pointless now too. I used to dream about my career post Hogwarts.
Perhaps I’d work at the Ministry or even open my own business with my hesitance but now,
the only thing I’m focused on is doing what is needed in order to stay alive.

April 27 1996

It’s a quarter to midnight when I hear a knock on the common room door. I know it’s
Granger, though the abrasive knocks almost had me second guessing. This isn’t the first time
she’s come here. It’s not even the second.

She’s been strutting her stubborn arse down here every other day ever since I opted out from
the research with Dumbledore. You’d think she’d be happy to have him all to herself.

I want to answer the door so I can tell her to go away but I don’t. I can’t. I know that if I see
her, I’ll break. I’ll fall right back into her arms and I can’t let that happen. Not now. Not with
where my life is headed and what is going to be asked of me. She can’t be around for that.
I’m going to become everything that her friends have expected of me. Maybe even worse.

These people I’m about to join will use anything to keep me in line and if they find out about
her, if they discover my feelings for her, they’ll use it against me. They’ll use her against me.
I’d sooner die than put her in harm's way.

May 13 1996
I'm exiting the lavatory when her small frame steps out from around the corner.

"You've been avoiding me,” she says, her hand on her hip.

"Clearly not well enough," I state as I push past her.

Trailing after me, she continues to say, “Why did you step down from the research?”

“Because I wanted to,” I reply, picking up my pace.

I make a left and enter the greenhouse, the plants lining the room are overgrown and offer me
enough shielding as I weave in and out of the rows in an attempt to lose her. Once I no longer
hear her voice, I take it as a sign that I’m in the clear and head out to the courtyard.

“Just because we broke up doesn’t mean we can’t still work together!” she shouts from
behind me.

Of course she’s still following me.

I let out an irritated groan as I turn around to face her. “What happened between us has
nothing to do with it,” I say.

“I find that awfully hard to believe.”

“Not everything has to do with you. If you ever took the time to notice, I never once said I
was interested in working with Dumbledore.”

“Well, you should be,” she says. “This could benefit your future immensely.”

“What bloody future, Granfer?!” I ask, the reality of everything hitting me for the first time.
“Mine has already been decided for me and some stupid fucking publication isn’t going to
make a difference.”

“You can always change your course, Malfoy. You have control over your life. Over who you
become.”

I let out a mocking chuckle. “You know, I used to think your extreme optimism was
admirable, charming even.”

“And what do you think of it now?”

“Now,” my jaw tenses, “I just think it’s childish and naive. You need to grow the fuck up,
Granger. The world isn’t some fairytale land where all of your dreams come true.”

“So that’s it then huh? You’re just giving up that easily.”

“I’m not giving up. I’m coming to terms with reality and you should try to do the same.”

“Is that what you told yourself when you walked away from us?” she asks. “That it was
coming to terms with reality? Because if so, that’s a load. Even coming from you.”
 “I might have been the one to walk away but you gave up on us far before. Tell me, Granger,
did you ever see a future with me?”

Her tough guy act falters. “I.. I don’t see how this is relevant”.

“Answer the question.”

“No,” she sheepishly admits. “But only because I’ve never thought that far ahead.”

“Well I did,” I say. Her jaw goes slack and her eyebrows raise so high they’re nearly touching
her hairline. “You were my entire future and for the small amount of time I allowed myself to
believe it would be possible, I was excited. I was excited to build a life with you. To be there
to celebrate your accomplishments and comfort you on the hard days. So yes, I came to terms
with reality. But don’t you dare mistake that as me giving up.”

She’s about to say something but I can’t be bothered to stick around to hear what she has to
say. I’ve already spent more time with her than I wanted to and I can already feel myself
beginning to crack beneath her.

This time, when I walk away, she doesn’t follow me.

Chapter End Notes

edited
 Chapter 29

July 1 1996

We arrived at the manor late last night. Theo has always spent the first two weeks of summer
with me but with our current situation Blaise and Pansy have also joined us. My mother was
confused when I informed her that she only needed to have two guest rooms made but once
we stepped inside, Theo and Pansy's fingers intertwined, she understood.

"How long have those two been an item?" She asks as I join her at the table for breakfast.

"Longer than any of us expected."

"I always thought Pansy was a wonderful girl."

I chuckle into my cup as I take a sip of my tea. "You are a terrible judge of character
mother."

"I would disagree." She states. "I think highly of you."

"Which only further proves my statement." I say, taking a bite of my toast.

Blaise joins us and shortly after Theo and Pansy do as well. None of us have spoken that
much over the past two weeks. As the last day of school grew closer we grew quieter. Pansy
has had the hardest time so far, not a single insult has come out of her mouth in days which is
refreshing but concerning.

She'll be fine though and she knows that, it's Theo and I she's worried about, him more so.
While none of us know the full details of our assigned sectors we have a base idea.

Blaise being in communications is just what it sounds like. He will be in charge of speaking
and delegating amongst the divisions on behalf of the higher ranks. Essentially, he's a human
version of an owl.

Pansy is in operations which really just means she's there to count heads, to take note of
deserters. Theo and I are in Reformation. Our sector is titled as such because we will be
assisting in doing just that, reforming, by any means necessary. Dolohov will be the one
training us with the assistance of Greyback.

The main concern Pansy has for Theo is the fact that we will be working alongside Greyback.
The two of them have history, most of which have to do with the death of his mother. He's
not as quick to violence as I am but he's shit at biting his tongue, one of the main reasons he'd
get into so many fights with other students at school. (That and he'd sleep with a lot of their
girlfriends.)

"Do you all have any plans for today?" My mother asks. "I heard the pub in town is hosting a
live music event."
"Mother.."

"You should take them out and show them around. It would certainly beat sitting inside
sulking all day."

"That's enough mother!" My fist slams down onto the table causing the plates and glasses to
clatter. "In case you've forgotten, our lives end in three days. So if we want to sit around and
be miserable until then, then we will."

"That's nonsense Draco, your lives will not be over."

"Really? You wouldn't classify us being forced to become child soldiers for a psychotic
murderer as the ending of our lives? Because I would. If we manage to make it out alive the
only thing that will be awaiting us is a cold dark cell at Azkaban."

Her eyes gloss over as she stares at me. Her finger quickly wipes away a tear that escapes
from the corner of her eye before excusing herself from the table.

"That was harsh mate, even for you." Blaise says, stabbing his fork into his eggs.

"That's nothing compared to what is about to come." I reply, standing up from my seat. "I
highly suggest all of you take the next three days to extract any emotion you're capable of
and bury it. Lock it in a fucking box and seal the cracks. They'll be of no use and will only
get you killed."

July 2 1996

Mother hasn't spoken to me. I shouldn't have lashed out on her like that but I'm so tired of her
acting like everything is alright, a running theme for her my entire life. Father is a merciless
man but at least he's straight forward with me.

My mother didn't want him to tell me that I was to become a death eater this summer. She
said she wanted me to have one last year of peace. Comical, really. When have I ever known
peace? Father sat me down and told me the truth, what was to come and what was expected
of me.

Theo was also informed that same night. My father told him that it's what his parents would
have wanted, that it was his duty to represent the family name.

We all agreed that we preferred to know, to be aware. It provided us with some time to
process, to prepare ourselves, to do the things we wanted before everything went to shit.
Blaise's goal was to shag as many girls as he could, he failed pretty miserably. Pansy
pretended like it didn't affect her at all, almost like she refused to come to terms with it until
now which is probably why she's having the most difficult time.

Theo took it the worst right out the gate. He already had his issues with Greyback and swore
that one day he would kill him. Finding out that he'd one day be working with the bastard in
some capacity was his tipping point.
In regards to myself, it wasn't any sort of shocking news to me. I've been told my entire life
that I would end up just like my father. I went about life as normal because this was my
normal.

Thinking back on the timing of my mother insisting on teaching me occlumency it makes

sense. Apart from it being a useful skill to protect memories it also aides in suppressing
emotions. Emotions she knew I needed to be rid of in order to be successful.

There's a cracking sound in my room, poking my head out from the bathroom I see Mippy
stood in the center.

"Master Draco!"

"Mippy." I nod.

"Mippy is to tell you that Master Malfoy is back."

"Thank you, please deliver dinner to Blaise, Theo and Pansy and remind them that they need
to stay in their rooms tonight." I instruct before grabbing my coat and heading downstairs.

I fiddle with my ring as I approach his study. Taking a moment, I let out a deep breath and
bring all my thoughts and emotions to the forefront. I acknowledge them before filing them
away, placing them in a dark room, locking the door and placing brick after brick until it's
completely blocked.

Once my mind quiets and goes blank, my shoulders relaxed, I push open the door and step
inside. My father is sat at his desk, glasses lowered to the tip of his nose as he reads over the
paperwork before him.

"How is everyone settling?" He asks, not looking up.

"Well father."

"And yourself? Are you prepared?"

"Yes father."

His cold eyes meet mine, flicking between them, testing me. "Your occlumency has
improved, very good Draco." He removes his glasses, folds them and places them on his
desk. "I was told you were chosen for the Reformation program."

"Yes, I'm honored to have been selected."

"As you should be. I expect great things from you son. You will make this family proud while
in Edinburgh this summer." He says, returning his attention to the files.

"Sir, I thought training was to be conducted in London?"

"It is, once you have completed training you will then be sent to Edinburgh."
"What about school?"

"You will not be returning." He looks up at me, dropping his quill and folding his hands.
"Will that be an issue, Draco?" The question sounding more like a threat.

"No, father."

"Good. Now, head back to your room for the night. Guests will be arriving shortly for a
meeting."

July 3 1996

I could barely sleep last night as I processed the news. I wouldn't be returning to Hogwarts
which means I wouldn't be assigned the task I had overheard them discussing last summer. I
should be relieved but instead I'm on edge.

If they didn't need me for that then what do they need me for? What about Theo? Will he be
joining me in Edinburgh or will he be the one sent to Hogwarts? I contemplated warning him
but I don't even know for sure what is going on at this point. There's no use in preparing him
for something that may not even possibly happen.

July 4 1996

Today is the day, initiation. The beginning of our end. Blaise is his usual self, acting like he
doesn't give a fuck. Pansy appears collected but there's a haunted look in her eyes. Theo is
silent and I am a clear slate. Anger won't do me any good in this moment, scared is never an
emotion I allow myself to feel and happiness wasn't even an issue when occluding.

We're lined up in the middle of the drawing room when they arrive. Five sets of black robes
with hoods covering their faces. My aunt Bella gliding across the marble floor and following
just behind her is him. The second he steps into the room everyone takes a knee and lowers
their head in submission.

"My lord." We all collectively chime.

I know better than to look up until I am instructed to do so. I watch as his bare feet slowly
circle Blaise, Theo, Pansy and I. "Rise, Draco." A whispered command. I do as I'm told, my
posture straightening as I lift my eyes to meet his. His presence in my mind feels like knives
but I maintain my composure as he searches the emptiness.

"Very impressive." A sinister look on his face as he examines me. "I have many plans for
you, you are going to do extraordinary things."

Don't speak unless asked a question or accepting a command.

He makes his way down the line, analyzing each of them and their memories. Pansy is last.
She's weak, I can infiltrate her mind without even glancing over at her. For her sake, I hope
she has nothing to hide. He lingers around her longer than he did the rest of us but doesn't
speak a word to her before returning in front of me.

"Your arm." He requests, holding his hand out.

The more you fight it, the more it will hurt.

I offer him my left arm. His fingers wrap around my wrist, piercing the skin as he tightens his
grip. He pushes my sleeve up and places the tip of his wand against the middle of my
forearm. There's no spell that escapes his lips, just a burning sensation that lights my arm on
fire.

Showing pain is admitting weakness.

My jaw tenses as the black lines begin to appear, slithering around to form the mark of a
killer. I spot my mother in the corner, her eyes are full of horror as she grips tightly onto her
handkerchief. Father whispers something to her which causes her to shift in place. Returning
my attention to my arm I watch as it solidifies. He mumbles an inaudible incantation before
lifting his wand. I roll my sleeve back down as he brands the rest of them.

Once he finishes he takes his place at the front of the room, a wide and uneasy grin on his
face as he congratulates us. He tells us what the mark stands for, what we now stand for.

"Liberate and purify both the muggle and wizarding world by achieving pure-blood
dominance, ridding the world of impure blood."

We are briefed on our responsibilities and then he begins assigning our tasks. Over the
summer, Blaise is to shadow Karkaroff and will eventually be responsible for negotiations.
Theo and I are to train with Dolohov and Greyback, join them on missions throughout the
summer. Theo will return to Hogwarts and will remain on standby and I will be sent to
Edinburgh, just as father had stated. Then there's Pansy.

She is to also shadow Karkaroff and every third day she will accompany the Carrows, to offer
her insight on what happens to the deserters and then he explains her task. His voice became
a muffled sound halfway through. Pansy has been given the task that was originally supposed
to be for me.

"You will be escorted to Borgin and Burkes a week prior to returning to Hogwarts." He says.

Sweat is forming on Theo's forehead.

Pansy's breathing has become unsteady.

"Failure to execute will cost you your life." Is the last thing he says before excusing all of us,
except for Pansy.

Karkaroff pulls Blaise aside to go over the training schedule and Theo follows me up to my
room. The door clicks shut and his panic is released. He's pacing the room, throwing and
knocking everything in his path.

"We have to do something." His voice frantic. "She can't-she won't survive it."

"Theo-"

"She acts tough and she is, she's one of the strongest people I know but she won't be able to
do it." He continues, ripping through his hair with his hand.

"Theo."

"He'll kill her for failing and if she does manage to go through with it, it'll destroy her. We
have to do something, we have to get her out, we have to-"

"Theo!" I shout, grabbing him by his shoulders. "She's going to be fine, she won't have to do
it."

His body relaxes as he takes a deep breath. "What are we going to do?"

"I'll handle it."

His eyebrows knit together as he shakes his head. "No. You can't do that."

"Yes I can." I tell him. "It was supposed to be me anyways." As I'm opening the door he
slams it shut. I turn and forcefully shove him back. "Do you want to keep her safe or not?!"
"Of course I do." "Then stay the fuck here and let me take care of it."

Stepping into the hallway I spot her on the opposite end. The second she sees me she runs
straight towards me, collapsing into my arms as she sobs, I attempt to calm her down. Her
body trembles against mine as she chokes on her tears.

I've only seen her cry once in all the years we've been friends. She showed up at the manor
the summer before third year, bruising painting her left eye. Her father is almost as big of a
bastard as mine. Pansy's mother passed during birth, ruining any chance he had at getting
what he wanted, a son. He blamed Pansy for it, his abuse mostly verbal but the nights he
returned home drunk it would become physical.

She cried all night until she managed to fall asleep. The next morning she refused to
acknowledge what had happened. Her and I are alike in that way, we found it easier to ignore
the pain, to become accustomed to it. We found different ways to cope though, I turned to
violence while she turned to finding validation from any man who would offer it.

Pansy is a raging cunt most of the time but even she doesn't deserve this. Theo is right, she
wouldn't survive this.

I take her face between my hands. "Look at me." She lifts her head, her eyes drowning in
tears. "I'm sorry Pans, I'm so sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen. You're going to be okay,
I'm going to fix it."

"It hurts Draco." She cries, clutching onto her arm. "It hurts so bad."
It's inflamed, swollen and burns at the touch. She must have fought against it, whether she
was aware or not. It's a complicated form of dark magic that even I barely understand but
what I do know is that it doesn't take kindly to resistance.

"I know Pans." My voice soft as I gently cover it with the fabric of her sweater. "Go to my
room, Theo is in there."

As I'm descending the stairs I pass by Blaise. I tell him where everyone else is and that I will
join them in a bit. He doesn't say anything but by the expression on his face I can tell that
there's an understanding on what I'm about to do. He offers me a nod before continuing on his
way. Everyone is sat around the dining room table when I approach.

"Draco." Voldemort smiles. "Something is on your mind."

"My lord." I say, slowly lowering my head. "I would like to be appointed Parkinson's task in
the execution of Albus Dumbledore."

"Why should I allow that?"

"She's weak, unstable, you saw how easy it was to get to her. Parkinson is not fit for an
assignment of this caliber."

"And you are?" He asks.

"Yes, my lord."

Slowly, he stands from his chair and creeps his way over to me. I remain still as he places his
wand against my neck.

To be scared is to be weak. The weak do not survive.

He traces his nail along my jaw line as he lets out a low menacing laugh. "I knew you would
make a good soldier. Unafraid to do the dirty work, unlike your father. You will return to
Hogwarts with the rest, you will carry out Miss Parkinson's task and your own in
Edinburgh."

"Thank you my lord, I will not fail you."

 Chapter 30
Chapter Notes

It’s 1996, Draco should technically be 16 but due to poor calculations he’s 17. Let’s
pretend I did that on purpose.

July 6 1996

Today is our first day of training. Theo and I are stood outside some shops, the area is
desolate and the street light flickers above us. "Are you sure we're in the right place?" Theo
asks, stretching his arms as he lets out a yawn. I pull my sleeve back to check my watch, the
watch Granger gave me for Christmas, it's five till 4. We are at the corner of Kingsgate and
Canon St, just as the letter had instructed.

"We're early." I tell him, retrieving the box of cigarettes from my coat pocket and placing one
between my lips. As I'm lighting the end of it Theo looks over at me, his face twisted in
disgust.

"How are you doing that right now? The damn sun hasn't even begun to rise." I offer him a
subtle shrug as I inhale, the smoke filling my lungs. "Besides, I thought you quit."

I did. I quit for Granger. She hated the way the smell would linger on my clothes, in my hair.
Told me that if I continued to do so she wouldn't kiss me anymore. I quit that same day. It
wasn't pleasant, I was groggy, fidgety, more irritable than I already am but when I would be
around her it would all dissipate. She was my new fixation, the thing that I craved.

Things have changed though. My body isn't dependent on the buzz from the nicotine, it
doesn't aide me in that way anymore but they do serve a purpose. Countless muggles have
died from their abusive use of these things, I haven't heard of any witches or wizards
inheriting the same fate but perhaps I could be the exception. I don't want to die, everything I
do is out of self preservation, but what a rush it is to entertain the idea that the extinction of
the Malfoy line could be at the hands of a muggle made product.

"Good, you're both here."

Theo and I turn to see Dolohov approaching, Greyback is dragging a small man behind him,
his face covered by a cloth sack. I flick the remainder of my cigarette to the ground and
squash it with the bottom of my shoe.

"Follow me." Dolohov instructs.

He leads us down the street and into a house, it's obvious that we don't have permission to
enter as he kicked the door open. Greyback disappears up the stairs, taking the man with him,
while Dolohov takes a seat in one of the chairs. His leg swings up and he rests his foot on his
knee as he leans back, looking right at home. Theo and I both stand there, unsure of what we
are supposed to do, neither of us daring to take a seat.

"Ah!" Dolohov claps his hands. "I almost forgot." He reaches behind the chair and throws a
bag in front of us. "Welcoming gift."

Theo looks over at me, a single brow raised in confusion. I bend down and open it up. Once I
see what is inside I lift the bag and dump the contents onto the floor. Knives of different
shapes and sizes lay spread out before us.

"Your weapons." He tells us.

"We have our wands though." Theo says.

Dolohov nods. "I'm well aware Nott." He stands and picks up one of the knives and begins
spinning it around. "You are under the age of 17, correct?"

"Yes."

"No."

Theo and I simultaneously respond.

"Regardless." He says. "Wands can be tracked, whether you still have the trace or not,
especially if an unforgiveable is used. Our mission is not limited to our world, we will be
infiltrating the muggles as well." Dolohov returns to his seat as he continues. "You are both
being taught to be lethal and work in the shadows, to operate under the radar. Unless you
wish to have the ministry breaking down your front door, you will avoid using your wands as
much as possible."

It's difficult for me to not laugh in this moment. Voldemort and the death eaters sole purpose
in doing all of this is to gain power, to show that those of pure-blood and magical abilities are
superior and yet here we are using muggle equipment to do so, the entire situation is irony at
its best.

Theo and I are thrown different variations of holsters to stow our knives. One that wraps
around our thigh, another that fastens across our chest, a smaller one for our torso to go under
our shirts and even two small ones for our ankles. By the time we have everything on we
both have 15 blades strapped among our bodies.

There's a loud thud from upstairs. "Sounds like Greyback has your first lesson prepared."
Dolohov says, standing from his chair and guiding us up the stairs. There's three rooms that
line the hallway, two to the right and one on the left. The left door is the only one that is shut
and as we pass by I can see the faintest glimmer from the ward that outlines it.

We enter the second door on the right. Greyback is positioning the man from earlier, his
hands now tied behind his back and blood streaming from his eye and down his face as he
kneels in the center of the room.
"This may be of shock to the two of you but our intent isn't always to kill." He tells us.
"Sometimes we just need to dismember or leave them right on the brink of death, it's a very
effective way to send a message."

Greyback pulls the man's head back by his hair while Dolohov inspects the blade of his knife.
"Welcome to anatomy class soldiers."

For the next three hours we watch as the two of them take turns cutting into the man's body
while informing us on the results of each strike. Back of the neck at the base of the skull will
sever spinal cord and brain stem, blade must be held flat and sharp edge towards spine, stab
deeply and firmly with blade point angled toward front center and firmly yank towards spine,
will cease all body functions and result in death.

Stab straight into neck to the side of larynx to kill, slashing will not cut through cartilage.
Another lethal target is the axillary artery which is accessed through the armpit. Pierce lungs
to cause victim to drown in their own blood. Femoral artery, thrust knife into groin area in
crook of leg and drag down, this one is Greyback's favorite.

For non-fatal assignments: anywhere below belly button, lateral to midline. Right flank,
nicking the liver. Shoulder, avoid major blood vessels.

"I've found removing a toe, finger or ear is highly rewarding as well. Cauterize the area so
that they don't pass out from blood loss, it's no fun if they're unconscious for the show."
Dolohov says as he wipes the blood from his blade onto his pants.

They order us to stay put as they drag the man's limp body from the room and close the door.
Once their footsteps grow faint Theo turns to me, his eyes wide. "These people are fucking
insane!" His attempt at a whisper failing.

"Keep your voice down!" I hiss. "You need to get your shit together Theo and unclench your
damn fist. Greyback was eyeing you the entire time."

"I wonder how he'd feel if I practiced on him."

I know that look in his eye and it's not the time for him to be acting or thinking this way.

"Don't even think about it." My voice stern. "You'll only get yourself killed which will also
result in my death and I'd prefer to make it past 17."

He goes to say something but Greyback returns before he is able to do so. He instructs us to
follow him over to the other room, the one that had a ward on its door. There's a girl sat in a
chair. Shoulder length brown hair, big green eyes, face stained with fear. She can't be older
than 10. Theo hesitates in the doorway but is pushed forward by Greyback.

"Show me what you have learned." Dolohov tells us.

Theo and I are silent, frozen in place.

"What has she done?" He asks. Fucking idiot.

"I beg your pardon?" Dolohov's jaw clicks.

"She's a child." Theo continues. "What threat could she possibly pose?"

In one stride Dolohov crosses the room, his hand tightly gripping onto Theo's neck. "You are
not here to ask questions or determine whether or not someone is deserving of punishment.
She is a muggle, that alone is reason enough." He releases him and walks back over to the
girl, gripping the back of her chair.

"Now do as you're told, soldier."

Theo grinds his teeth before retrieving the knife from his side holster, his knuckles white as
he grips tightly onto the handle.

There's a flash in his eyes before he swiftly turns on his heels and pins Greyback against the
wall with his forearm, digging the edge of his blade into his throat.

My eyes close as I let out an exasperated sigh.

Just as Dolohov reaches for Theo I yank him by the back of his jacket, spin him around and
position my own knife against his neck.

"You've just made a big mistake." Dolohov says to me as I back him away from where Theo
and Greyback stand.

"As did your mother the day she gave birth to you."

The young girl stares up at me in horror, my eyes soften as I look back at her. "Go." I tell her
but she remains frozen in place. "Now!" My voice raising. Her body shudders before she
jumps up to her feet and flees the room.

"Theo." I call out but he doesn't respond, his focus remaining on Greyback who looks more
amused than anything. He could easily overpower Theo if he wanted to. "Theo!" I repeat,
shouting this time. His head twitches slightly. "If you're going to do something then do it or
stop being stupid and drop it."

He doesn't move.

What an obstinate pain in my arse.

I focus in on him, slipping my way in.

"This is a messy way to go about it. You will have your chance but it's not the right time. Step
away Theo."

This time he listens. He hesitates at first but backs away. As he releases his hold on Greyback
I also let go of Dolohov. Theo is knocked to the ground and the side of my left knee is met by
a boot.

"You're just as dumb as your father." Greyback snarls down at him.

"Don't talk about my father!" Theo shouts back.

"I will talk about whoever I'd like boy."

I feel two pairs of hands grab my arms, lifting me up to my feet. Pain radiating down my leg.

"Your disobedience and foolish act will not go unpunished." Greyback tells him as Dolohov
rips open the front of my shirt and throws me down onto the ground. "For every gash, every
mark on his body, every scream of pain I want you to remember that this was your doing."

As I hear the sound of two blades gliding against one another I push everything away. I
compartmentalize and suppress every emotion. They are using me as an example and I refuse
to give them even the hint of satisfaction by showing any discomfort or suffering.

My eyes are trained on the carpet beneath me as I feel the tip of the blade dig into my back.
The muscle in my jaw twitches as I endure slash after slash. I can feel the blood trickling
down my back with each cut, each puncture. My mind remains blank and not a single sound
slips from my mouth.

After Greyback and Dolohov finished decorating my back with blood and cuts we were
released for the day. There's silence between us as we exit the house and apparate. Once we
step inside the manor I head straight for the stairs, Theo trailing after me as apologies spew
out of him.

Entering my room I find Blaise and Pansy inside, both of them jump to their feet and watch
as Theo chases after me.

"Draco just hear me out, I'm sorry!"

Walking into the bathroom I slam the door behind me and in his face. I grip onto the edge of
the sink as I listen to muffled voices bounce around outside.

"What the hell is going on?" Pansy asks.

"I fucked up." Theo says.

"What happened?" Blaise asks. "And was that blood on Draco's shirt?"

I slip my jacket, holsters and shirt off and turn around so my back is facing the mirror. My
eyes scan over the various cuts sprawled across my skin. I go over to the shower and turn the
water on, drowning out the sound of Theo's pathetic voice. I grab my wand and point it at my
knee.

"Episkey." A quick cracking sound and my knee is set back into place and I step into the
shower.

The cold water stings as it hits my body, the tile beneath me staining red as the blood washes
off. I rest my forehead against the wall as I wait for the water to run clear.

Theo is so fucking stupid.

My back is on fire.

Once I'm done showering I step back out into my room, my towel slung around my hips and
my eyes avoiding the three pairs watching me closely.

"Draco your back." Pansy gasps as I turn to open a drawer.

"Bloody hell." Blaise mutters.

I slip on a shirt and pair of pants before turning around, my face impassive. Theo is hunched
over on my bed next to Pansy.

"Dinner will be served in 20." I tell them, my voice curt.

Without another word I exit the room.

 Chapter 31

July 9 1996

Walls lined in framed photographs. Smiles, genuine smiles, staring back at me. Arms
wrapped around one another, clutching tightly, passionately.

The same couple now kneeled before Theo and I. Fear and panic now sit where warmth once
was. They moved into this house just last month, a week after their wedding.

And now.

Their hands intertwined, holding each other one last time.

"Step forward." Dolohov commands.

Theo and I move in sync. The young woman looks up at me, eyes pleading for
mercy. "Please," she cries. "We'll never say anything, we'll stay silent. Please." She begs
once more.

Theo's jaw clenches and his eyebrow twitches but he pushes it down, locks it away. I require
no time to do the same. I separated, detached and discarded every memory, emotion and
feeling four days ago and I haven't allowed them to return since.

It's easier this way.

Draining.

More efficient.

Numbing.

Necessary.

"Execute." Dolohov says. "That's an order."

My right hand slips the knife from the holster strapped to my thigh while my left reaches for
her head, tilting it to the side as I drive the tip of my blade into the side of her neck.

There's some resistance as I twist but then it gives, informing me that the cartilage has been
severed. Her body falls in unison with her husband's as Theo and I take a step back.

Greyback approaches the pair and inspects them before nodding up at Dolohov, a wide smile
appearing on his face. "Excellent." He pats our backs as he squeezes between us and leaves
the room, Greyback following closely behind.

As I run my knife along my sleeve, removing the blood, I turn to Theo who is staring down at
the now lifeless bodies, his face plastered with shame.
"Let's go." I say, tugging him by his shoulder and guiding him out of the room.

Back at the manor we all gather at the table for dinner. Blaise is filling us in on what his
training consisted of today.

"How Karkaroff was placed in communications is beyond me." He says between bites. "The
man's English is dreadful. He sounds like a child learning their first words. You. Package.
Disaster!" Blaise waves his arms around as he mocks Karkaroff.

Theo has been silent since we returned this afternoon. Locked himself away in his room, he
wouldn't even let Pansy in.

"You need to eat more. You've barely touched your food." Pansy's voice is soft as she speaks
to him.

"I'm not hungry." He mumbles.

"Theo, you've skipped nearly every meal the past few days."

He pushes his plate forward and leans back into his chair.

"If you're going to be a prat then do so elsewhere. Don't take your childish vexation out on
my mother's tableware." I scoff, rolling my eyes as I lift my cup to my mouth.

"Childish vexation?!" His eyes beaming with fury.

"It means frustration, annoyance, worry." My tone taunting.

"Don't be smart Malfoy!" He hisses.

"One of us has to be."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning," My voice harsh. "You have been a complete fuckwit. First you pull that shit with
Greyback and now you've decided to starve yourself as a way to repent your sins. Hate to
break it to you mate but malnourishment won't change a thing."

"Unbelievable!" He scoffs, slamming his hands down onto the table and kicking his chair
back. "You've really lost it, haven't you?!"

"You're the one throwing the fit, not me." I reply casually, undeterred by his biting tone.

"You want to know what I think?" He asks.

"Not particularly but I assume you're going to tell me anyways."

"I think you're a coward." He says. "Hiding behind occlumency, refusing to actually face the
repercussions, the reality of everything. We had to kill someone today and you're over here
acting like it's just another Tuesday!"
"It is just another Tuesday." I reply. "Just like tomorrow will be another Wednesday and all of
the days to come. This is our new normal Nott and the quicker you can get that through your
thick head the better."

He stares me down, challenging me, but I don't give ground.

His jaw releases as he backs down. "I wonder what Granger would think of this new you."

Before I know it, my hand is firmly wrapped around his neck. Plates and glasses spread along
the table as a result of my sudden lunge across. Pansy is clawing at my arm to get me to let
go.

"Sit the fuck down Pansy!" I command.

Once she's sat down I turn my attention back to him. His face slowly turning a shade of
purple due to the lack of oxygen.

"Cheap shots are beneath you Nott." My eyes narrowing. "You may be like a brother to me
but if her name comes out of your mouth one more time I will not hesitate to snap your
neck." I snarl.

Detaching my hand from his throat, he lets out a wheeze as he gasps for air.

"Pick up your fucking chair and eat your food." I order, returning to my seat. Theo glares at
me as he lifts the chair and plops down into it.

Blaise clears his throat before speaking. "Is this a bad time to ask what's for desert?"

Pansy kicks his leg underneath the table.

"Ow! I was just asking." He says, holding his hands up in surrender.

July 17 1996

Fear.

A four letter word.

Derived from the Proto-Germanic word feraz which meant danger.

An adaptive response to things that endanger the body or the mind.

A complex biomechanical process that involves adrenaline and a number of areas of the
brain.

Fear.

A waste of energy and a sure way to die.

July 22 1996

My first solo assignment.

Target: Lawrence Minchum, son of Harold and Agatha Minchum.

Objective: Terminate

Location: Stockbridge. Edinburgh, Scotland.

Time: 4:45 am.

I stalk the perimeter of the stone cottage, familiarizing myself with the layout.

Exit points: front door, two windows on west end and one on south end.

A single street light four houses down leaving this one completely submerged in the early
morning darkness. Neighbors are an elderly couple who wake around 7, both hard of
hearing.

I check my watch, a small ping in my chest as the memories of her try to escape their box.
4:58 am. Minchum should be waking shortly. I approach the door, carefully examining it for
any sign of a ward, nothing. Slowly turning the knob I discover that it's unlocked as well.
Idiot.

5:00 am.

He stops mid step as he flicks on the lights and spots me. I'm sat at his dining table reading
over today's edition of The Daily Prophet. "You should never trust the writings of Skeeter." I
say. "Dolohov is 5'8 at best."

"Wh-what are-how did-who are you?" He stutters.

I fold the paper and place it down on the table, looking him in the eyes for the first time.
"Apologies, where are my manners?" Standing, I saunter over to him while twirling a quill
between my fingers. His right hand twitches near his left pocket, a faint outline of his wand
creases the fabric.

"Go on then," I nod. "I'll permit one free shot."

As he retrieves his wand and raises it I slam his arm back into the wall, piercing through his
palm with the quill. He lets out an agonized scream which shortly ceases as I drive my dagger
upwards just behind his chin. "I'm Draco by the way." I say as I remove my knife. His head
drops and blood begins rapidly pouring out onto the floor.

I grab an apple from the basket on the table before leaving. Stepping out, I close the door and
adjust my coat before taking a bite and walking off.
 Chapter 32

August 28 1996

Theo joined me in Edinburgh last week after finally passing his training. He continued to
resist and disobey. It took weeks and several torture sessions for him to submit. In the amount
of time it took for him to be released I have already successfully completed 14 missions,
today's making it 15.

"I'm beginning to think Skeeter is doing this on purpose." I scoff. "That, or she's just terrible
at gauging height. I'm 6'3 not 5'9, measured myself this morning. This isn't a bad photo of us
though Theo, your mask is a bit crooked but nevertheless."

"Can you put that bloody thing down and help me over here?" He clips.

I let out a groan as I walk over to him, he's hunched over as the woman screeches beneath
him. It takes me less than a minute to pinpoint where he went wrong. "You missed the
artery." I tell him. "You need to hold it flat and yank down. Try again." He requires another
five minutes before giving it another go. This time he does it correctly.

He's still struggling to stomach everything, his face is pale as we return to our hotel. It's his
fault really, if he hadn't missed the first time then he wouldn't have had to listen as the woman
screamed.

Once we each gather our belongings Theo grabs onto my arm and we apparate.

There's only a few days until we are set to return to Hogwarts. Today we were required to
meet with Dolohov and Greyback in Kingsgate to go over our assignments. Alongside
mending the cabinet and Dumbledore's assassination, I will be required to continue to travel
to Edinburgh and anywhere else the dark lord requests. Since Hogwarts has an anti-
apparation ward, I was given a portkey of sorts.

Theo will mostly be on standby but it was mentioned that there will be occasional times
where he will join me. Extra training is what they classified it as. The meeting was short and
to the point. I was offered a few words of praise on my recent accomplishments before our
dismissal.

The last time we were here Theo had his eyes on this one shop. He said he saw something in
the window that he wanted to get for Pansy. As much as I'd prefer to go straight back to the
manor I decide to allow him ten minutes to run over to it. While he's off shopping, I take the
time to wander down the street.

Nearly every building is made of stone, it's refreshing to see a town maintain it's history. A
few more blocks down and I find myself in front of a yellow house, a harsh contrast against
the rest of the buildings lining the road.

"Shopping for a new house? Is the manor not cutting it anymore?"

I'd recognize that snide tone anywhere.

Turning my head, the corner of my mouth tugging up into a smirk, I see her.

"Granger."

"Malfoy." Her curls dance in the wind as she smiles up at me. The faint scent of her shampoo
causing my throat to tighten. "I must say, this house seems rather small for you. Are you sure
there's enough room for your ego in there?"

"Charming as always."

Her eyes dart down to the bag in my hand. "Have you been traveling over the summer?"

"You could say that." My grip tightening around the handle. "What brings you to Kingsgate?"

"This, actually." She says, turning to face the house. "It's where Jane Austen used to live. I've
been meaning to visit it for some time now."

I should have figured. If Granger's nose isn't in a book she's somewhere that relates to them.
Jane Austen is one of her favorite authors though I don't see the appeal in staring at a building
where she once resided. However, I do see the appeal in watching her do so. Her eyes light
up and those gold flakes within sparkle under the sunlight.

She's just as, if not more, beautiful than I remember.

Then I remember why I'm here. It wasn't for some sightseeing tour of previous homes of
deceased authors. I was here for business, business that does not afford me the luxury of
gawking over a girl, even if that girl is her.

I check my watch to see how much time Theo has left and then I quickly cover it with my
sleeve, praying that Granger didn't see. She doesn't need to know that I still use it, that I've
worn it every day since she's given it to me. That even though I've placed her in a box and
stowed her far far away, at night I let myself feel something, just for a moment, for her.

It's foolish and unwise but some days it's the only thing that keeps me going.

The possibility.

The hope.

"Malfoy?"

My eyes snap back over to her, she must have been talking to me this entire time.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"I was just asking how you were holding up with the recent news of everything."

My eyebrow quirks. "News?"

"You know, with the.." She searches the area around us and lowers her voice. "The death
eaters."

My jaw clicks and eyes lower. "Why would this news affect me in any capacity?"

She's startled by the harsh tone of my voice. "I was just-"

"Theo is waiting for me." I snipe, cutting her off. "See you at school Granger."

I can't keep allowing her to slip through the cracks, to let my guard fall when around her. She
needs to stay in her box, she needs to stay where I carefully put her because if she doesn't...

My mind is racing a million miles a minute when I run into Theo.

"Easy there, what's the rush?"

"Are you finished? Did you get everything that you need?" I ask, refusing to make eye
contact.

"Hey," He drops his bag on the ground before placing his hands on my shoulders. "Are you
alright?"

"I'm fine Theo."

Out of the corner of my eye I see a flash of red. My head turns to see Granger stood just
down the sidewalk, staring at us. Theo follows my line of sight and spots her.

"Oh." His hands drop, suddenly understanding my shift in demeanor.

"Can we leave now?" My voice strained.

He nods as he picks up his bag. "Yeah, let's go."

Back at the manor I'm greeted by my mother the moment I step foot inside. She hates what
I've become but the fear of losing me outweighed. For a moment it almost feels nice to be
back home but then my father appears. He's.. smiling? It's the most unsettling thing I've ever
seen in my life.

"Draco, it's good to have you back."

"Father."

He pulls me into a stiff and uncomfortable embrace. He has never once hugged me before. Is
he okay? Has someone cast an imperio on him? As he pulls away he holds my face between
his hands, still smiling.

"You have performed well, just as I knew you would. The dark lord is very impressed with
your recent work. There's been talks of a promotion."
Ah, I see. Do well in school, get top marks, break countless records for quidditch and you're
still a failure. Brutally murder people and make him look good in front of Voldemort...
praise.

"And you Theo." My father turns to him. "I heard you stepped up quite a bit over the past
week. I am to assume this was a result of his teaching?"

Theo offers me an empathic look before straightening his posture. "Yes Mr. Malfoy, Draco
was an excellent mentor. Everything I know is thanks to him."

"I expected nothing less. He is, after all, my son." He boasts. "If you'll excuse me, I have a
meeting to attend."

The second the front door shuts my mother and Theo both reach for me. I jerk away from
their hands and head straight to my room. On my bed lays a small parcel with a note
attached.

Mr. Draco Malfoy,

Please find inside an early copy of the third installment of my Undesirable series. Your
requested edit has been made and can be found on the first page. Happy reading to both you
and Miss Hermione Granger.

All the best,

Lance Gainsworth

I tear off the wrapping and flip open the book, reading the customized inscription.

"The course of true love never did run smooth."

~William Shakespeare

To the girl I will happily fight with, and for, for the rest of my life.

-D.M.

How could I have forgotten about this? Cost me three times as much as the first one. Authors
apparently aren't too keen on adding the works of others into their own. I was going to give
this to her for her birthday. I had it all planned out.

I was going to take her to that dirty muggle town we went to on Christmas Eve and I would
have made her wear the gaudiest jumper. We would have dinner at the italian restaurant that
was near the tree, the one that made her mouth instantly salivate as we walked by.

Afterwards we would go for a walk, there was a bookshop just around the corner. I was going
to place this one on the shelf and watch as her eyes popped out as she spotted it. Then, after
she read the inside, because she always has to before purchasing one, I would have said it. I
would have handed her all the power needed to destroy me. I would have told her what I've
been trying so hard to deny all these years.
I would have told her that I love her.
 Chapter 33

There's a rustling in my bed, it's subtle but enough to wake me from my sleep. I'm on high
alert as my eyes shoot open, searching the room while I simultaneously reach for my
nightstand where my wand and knife lay.

Then there's a hand on my arm. A gentle, warm and caring hand. I turn to my right and it's
her. She's here, she's in my bed, she's with me and she's here.

But how? How did she get in here? How did she get past the wards? Why is she-

"It's okay Draco, it's just me." She whispers, the sound of her voice instantly calming me. My
hand that was originally reaching for my nearest weapon is now tangling itself in her curls,
pulling her into me.

"Granger." I exhale. Relief washing over me as I rest my forehead against hers. "What are
you doing here?"

Her fingers trace over the scars that mark my chest and torso. Her eyebrows twisted together
as she flits her eyes back up to mine.

"You're damaged."

"What?" My head cocks. "No. I'm fine."

"You're cut up and damaged." She repeats.

I take her hands in mine and lift them to my mouth, kissing them. "I'm fine, they're just
scars."

She ignores me and pushes her hand against my shoulder, twisting me around to provide her
a full view of my back which is even more unsightly.

"Damaged... mangled..."

I spin back around, quickly growing irritated with this examination of hers.

"Granger, stop."

But she continues.

"..broken... defective..."

"Stop."

"... irreparable... disgraceful... failure..."

"Stop!"
She keeps going and going and going. My hands are covering my ears and my eyes are
tightly shut as I beg for her to stop but she doesn't show any mercy.

"Please," I plea, my voice breaking. "Please Hermione."

And then silence.

I open my eyes and she's no longer next to me, she's walking out of the room. I jump out of
my bed and follow her.

"Where are you going?" I ask as we descend down the stairs but she doesn't respond, her face
is a blank slate. I continue bombarding her with questions but I'm met with the same result
each time.

She only stops walking once we reach the drawing room. I step in front and grab her by the
shoulders.

"Granger, what is going on? Talk to me!" I shout, shaking her body.

"It's about time you joined us."

Every muscle in my body stiffens, the hairs on the back of my neck shooting straight up. As I
turn around I tuck her behind me, shielding her with my body.

"I was beginning to worry you weren't going to come." He says as he slowly closes the
distance between us. "But I knew you would. You are my strongest soldier after all. So
obedient. So lethal."

"My lord." My grip on her arm tightens as I bow my head.

He presents a dagger to me. "Take it."

I grab it with my free hand and he turns my body around to face Granger again. She struggles
to bend down. Voldemort rips my hand away, allowing her to fully get on her knees.

His mouth is next to my ear, I can feel the warmth of his breath brush against my cheek.

"Execute." He whispers.

"What?!" I take a swift step away from him. "No."

"That wasn't a request, it was an order."

"I'd sooner kill myself!" I spit, throwing the knife to the ground.

"You would rather die than take the life of an innocent?" He questions. "What has changed?
Where was this clemency with the others?"

I shake my head. "That was different."

"How so?"
"Because-"

"Because you did not love them? You think that just because you've been between this girl's
legs that it spares her from death?" He lets out a mocking laugh as he steps towards me and
places another dagger in my hand.

"You will kill her." He says.

"Go fuck yourself."

Before I even have time to process what's happening a burst of green light slams into her
chest and her body falls back onto the ground, her chest still.

"No!" I scream. "You fucking bastard!" As I lunge forward, the tip of the blade just about to
pierce his skin I feel my body being yanked and I'm awake. There's a shadowed figure
hovering over me and I go into automatic attack mode.

As I flip the person over and pin them down I swipe the knife from my nightstand and press
it into their throat.

"It's me! It's just me! It's Theo!" His voice full of panic as he holds his hands up.

"Theo?"

"Yes! Fucking Merlin's tit! It's me!"

"What are you doing in here?" I ask.

"Could you maybe put that damn thing away and let me sit up first?"

I climb off of him and move over to the other side of the bed. He lets out a deep sigh of relief
as he flicks the lamp on.

"Do you sleep with that under your bloody pillow?"

I roll my eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. I keep it on my nightstand."

"Right." He chuckles. "How stupid of me."

"Are you going to tell me what you're doing in here?" I ask, annoyed with his sarcasm.

He runs his hand through his hair before speaking. "Pansy wanted some water."

"And you came to my room for that?" I question, lifting a single brow.

"You were screaming. I thought maybe you were..." his eyes soften. "Like you used to when
were kids."

My stomach drops and twists and turns and I can feel the bile creeping its way up my throat.
"No." I state. "It wasn't that."
"Oh, good." His shoulders relax as he nods "That's good. Do you want to talk about it?"

My spine straightens and I'm on defensive mode again.

Brick. One after another. Walls. Reinforced with concrete. Another set of bricks and wall
after wall until everything is secure, locked away.

I exhale through my nose. Settling into the silence. The void.

"You don't have to do that around me mate." He tells me. "You can allow yourself to breathe,
to relax."

"Pansy isn't a very patient women Theo. Might be wise to not keep her waiting for too long."

He studies me for a moment before standing. "Yeah, I'll get on that." As he's leaving he stops
in the doorway. "We care about you Draco. We want to be there for you. Let us be there for
you."

September 3 1996

It's different being back at school this time. The cheerful voices of first years are more
nauseating than ever and the days seem to drag. Pansy and Blaise have adjusted well, their
duties have come to a momentary pause while they're here, whereas Theo and I are on high
alert. Other students have been whispering, theorizing.

"I'm telling you Clara, it's him in the photo on The Daily Prophet. It's Draco Malfoy, I'd
recognize him even with the mask on. He's a death eater, he's the one who is responsible for
all of those deaths."

I walk out from the aisle and drop my books down onto the table. The Ravenclaw's head
snaps over and they both sink back into their chairs when they see me. I don't even bother
glaring at them, it's evident that they're already terrified from just being in the same vicinity
as me. They scramble to gather their books before rushing out of the library.

Good.

If being a death eater has any perks it's providing me with the silence I so desperately crave.
Those girls weren't the first ones I've overheard. The moment I got on the train I began to
hear it. At least Potter has some balls and will say it to my face.

I've just opened my book when I hear the sound of the chair beside me scratching against the
wooden floor. Peeling my eyes from the page, I see Granger, all smiles as she plops down
beside me.

My grip on the page tenses and my hand jerks, nearly ripping it out. Her lips part as she's
about to speak but I storm off before she's given the chance to do so.
Back in the common room I ignore Blaise's request to join them and go straight to my dorm.
Locking the door I step into the bathroom and splash myself with cold water to cool my face
which feels like it's on fire.

I need to get better control over this. Over her. With how my body reacts when near her,
when thinking about her. Flashbacks of her lifeless body laying on the drawing room floor at
the manor replay over and over in my head. I head back into my room, snatch the knife from
my top drawer, go back into the bathroom and take a seat in the shower.

Exhaling, I allow her to escape from her box. Her smile, the smell of her shampoo, the sound
of her laugh.... I raise the knife and drive it into my thigh.

The way she chews on the end of her quill, how her eyebrows knit together as she studies...

Stab.

How her small frame feels against mine...

Stab.

The way she says my name...

Stab.

How badly I want to tell her that I love her...

Stab. Stab. Stab.

The knife falls from my hand and blood pours out from my leg and slowly travels down the
drain.

Inhale. Focus. Connect the pain in my leg to the thought of her, to every good and bad
feeling I have in regards to the curly haired smart-mouthed witch. Exhale. Carefully place
her back in her box. Lock it. Seal the cracks. Cover it in concrete. Dig a hole. Place box in
hole. Cover. Inhale. Lay brick after brick. Build wall after wall. Exhale.

My jaw releases and my head falls back against the wall as I'm left with nothing but a white
room.

Empty.

Sterilized.

Controlled.

"Fucking hell!" My eyes snap open and I see Theo, his mouth wide as he stares down at my
leg. "Exploring our masochism tendencies are we?"

I brush off his snarky remark and remove my tie, wrapping it securely around my upper thigh
to make a tourniquet — a muggle technique that I learned when I was young. Once the blood
has slowed, I limp my way past Theo and exit my room.

"You should really go see Madam Pomfrey about that." Theo says as we step down into the
common room.

"No."

"Well then at least let me heal it."

"Drop it Theo!" I snap. "It's fine. Besides, I missed any major blood vessels or arteries. I
know what I'm doing."

"Forgive me for calling bull shit on that!" He shouts. "If this is some call for help then it's
been heard loud and clear."

Pansy and Blaise have now joined us, both of them full of concern as they take notice to the
state of my leg.

"I don't need nor do I want your help." I snarl. "So you can all stop looking at me with those
sad pathetic eyes and fuck off. I have some work to do."
 Chapter 34

September 20 1996

I've started to run. It feels all too muggle but it helps keep me in shape and maintain a clear
head. I run approximately 32 kilometers a day. 12 in the morning and 20 at night. I've had a
harder time sleeping lately which shouldn't be an issue that I'm experiencing seeing as I've
already been sent on four missions in Edinburgh and all my free time is spent on that damn
cabinet.

I should be exhausted. Drained. If not from the physical exertion but the mental. Occluding
all day every day takes a toll on even the strongest but I can't afford to let myself slip, not
even for a moment. I swear I've even managed to perfect it in my sleep.

I used to dream all the time but now... nothing.

It's a quarter till 3 in the morning. I'm just now returning from my run and rounding the
corner to the common room entrance when I see someone curled up and passed out on the
floor. Usually I wouldn't offer them a second glance but they're blocking the door.

Letting out an aggravated huff I approach the drunken mess. As I get closer my eyes adjust to
the dim light and I'm able to get a better look at the individual.

Gryffindor robes.

Messy mop of curls.

No. Absolutely not. I am not doing this. I refuse.

"Granger," I say, lightly shaking her body while also kicking myself for not turning around
and walking away. "Granger."

She lets out a groan and lazily swats the air around her, waving me to leave her be. "Bugger
off crooks." She mumbles.

"Granger, it's me."

Her eyes struggle to open halfway as she tilts her head. "It's youuu!" She smiles as she slowly
sits up.

I place my hand on her back to help keep her steady. "What are you doing down here?" I ask.

"It's my birthday toda-er-yesterday you know." Her words slurring together.

"Yes," I sigh. "I'm aware."

"Ron and Harry threw me a party, you didn't come. Why didn't you come?"
Merlin, how much did this woman have to drink? And why did those two idiots let her
wander off in this state? If someone else were to find her like this who knows what they
might've done. The thought of anyone touching her, especially without her consent, makes
my skin itch and blood boil.

"Let's get you back to your dorm yeah?" I take her arm and slowly try to help her up to her
feet. "Can you stand?" My question is answered when her knees instantly begin to wobble
and she fully collapses into my arms. I really shouldn't do this. This is by the far the dumbest
thing I've ever done.

"Alright, let's go Granger." With ease, I sling her limp body over my shoulder, mutter the
password and carry her inside.

Reaching my dorm, I close the door behind me and cast a ward. I really don't need a repeat of
the last time she was here.

Walking over to my bed, I gently lay her down and she begins to giggle.

"You're so strong." She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and brushes her fingers against
my cheek. "Strong and handsome." She says, tapping the tip of my nose.

The Granger I placed in a box tries to claw her way out at the sound of her drunken
confessions. I take my wand out and transfigure a cup. "Aguamenti." I sit beside her on the
mattress and support her weight as she sits up. Bringing the glass to her mouth I instruct her
to drink. She takes a pathetic three sips before resting her head on my shoulder.

My body is on fire and it feels like the skin on my shoulder is burning right off.

"You're sweaty."

"I went for a run."

Her head pops up. "Since when do you run?"

"New hobby." I shrug. "I'm going to go take a quick shower, do you need anything?"

She shakes her head and lays back down on the mattress. I get up and head for the bathroom
but I'm stopped when she speaks up again.

"I really wanted to spend my birthday with you, Draco."

I don't dare to look back at her. "Me too, Granger."

The freezing cold shower managed to regulate my body temperature and help me collect my
thoughts. As I open the door I peek in to see her eyes closed and face buried into a pillow.
Stepping out, towel wrapped around my waist, I walk over to my dresser.

The sound of the sheets rustling together is then followed by a gasp.

"Your back." She says. "What happened to your back?"

I slam the drawer shut.

"Go back to sleep Granger." My throat tight. It's reminding me too much of that dream-no-
nightmare. I can't do this, not again.

I can hear her climbing out of the bed. Her footsteps close in and then her hand presses
against the skin of my back. I flinch and my body tenses.

"Who did this to you?"

I spin around and grip her wrist, making sure to keep my left arm behind me, to keep her
from seeing the mark that now covers it.

I'm about to speak when I see her eyes widen, her hand slapping over her mouth.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I think I'm gonna-"

Realization slaps me across the face and I rush her over to the bathroom. She practically
lunges at the toilet and hunches over. I pull the curls from her face and hold it back as she
empties the contents of her stomach.

Once she has nothing left to throw up I help her back over to the bed. I manage to get her to
drink some more water before laying her down. I put on my jumper and as I'm about to head
for the chair she grabs my hand.

"Lay with me."

"Granger..."

She lightly tugs on my arm. "I know you don't share a bed. You don't have to stay the entire
time, just for a little. Please?"

Everything in me is telling me not to give in. To keep as much distance between her and I as
possible. But the way she's looking at me right now, the way her hand feels on mine. It's
everything I've been aching for, dreaming about.

As I crawl in she scoots over to give me some room. I stay sitting up, my back against the
headboard. I'm relieved when she keeps space between us. I listen as her breathing slows
down and steadies, my own beginning to match the tempo of hers.

My eyelids begin to grow heavy but I'm suddenly wide awake when I feel her drape her arm
across me and rest her head on my stomach. My hand hovers over her back and I hesitate
before placing it down.

Just a few minutes... a few minutes and then I'll go over to the chair.

-*-
When I wake up it takes me a moment to come to terms that this is real. That it's really her
laying beside me and that I actually fell asleep in the same bed as someone, as her.

I check the time and see that it's 7 am. I do my best to be quiet as I slip out of bed. She's most
likely going to be asleep for awhile but when she does wake she will need food. Slipping on
my shoes, I step out and reinforce the wards before heading off.

After my morning run I return to my room. With a tray of food in hand, I open the door to see
her sat in the chair by the window as she reads a book. I'm anxious for a moment as I try to
read the title, to make sure it's not the one I was planning to give her. I relax once I see that
it's one of the few Jane Austen books that I own.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, shutting the door.

She looks up and rubs her temple. "Quite awful actually."

"This should help." I say, lifting the tray slightly as I walk it over to her.

"Thank you." She smiles, picking up a piece of toast. "This is a nice reading area, though it
can't be comfortable to sleep in. Your shoulders must be killing you."

"They're fine but probably because I didn't sleep there." I tell her.

"Where did you sleep then?"

I point over to the bed and she practically chokes on her toast. "You mean-we shared a bed
last night?!"

"It was a painful experience." I say, taking the bread from her hand and finishing the rest of
it. "Did you know that you kick in your sleep?"

The most delightful sound escapes her mouth, I could drown in her laughter.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing. I hope I didn't kick you too hard."

"I may not be able to have kids one day but perhaps that's a good thing." I shrug.

We remain silent as we eat our food, only a single dispute when it came down to the last
scone but it was short lived as I conceded and let her have it, per usual.

"Thank you, by the way." She says.

My eyebrow lifts. "For?"

"Last night, taking care of me. You didn't have to do that."

"I'll always take care of you Granger."

Her cheeks flush as she tries to hide her smile. "Will you come with me somewhere?"
"I'm beginning to think I rubbed off on you too much. This would be the, second? Time
you've asked me to skip class? Attendance plays a part in keeping your high marks Miss
Granger." I smirk.

She rolls her eyes and grabs my hand, my skin burns at her touch again but this time it isn't
painful. It's electrifying, intoxicating, just like her. Her presence alone gets me high in a way
no drug has ever done so before.

We're at the Black Lake. I've avoided this area since being back. It's a bittersweet feeling
being here with her again.

"Are we going for a swim?"

"That's a brilliant idea!" She immediately shakes her robe off and fiddles with the buttons of
her shirt.

"I was joking Granger."

"Well I'm not." She says, sliding her shirt off.

My nails dig into the skin of my palm as I clench my hand. It takes everything in me to not
let my eyes wander down her practically bare chest.

"I haven't been since the triwizard tournament. I've always been too scared but in light of
turning 17 I think it's about time I face my fears. Wouldn't you agree?"

She now stands in just her knickers and bra and is simultaneously testing every ounce of my
self control.

I watch as she runs into the water and dives under. I haven't a clue who this witch is but I do
know that it's not the same Granger from last term. There's something different about her,
more carefree and I'm drinking in every last drop of it.

"Aren't you coming in?" She asks.

I lean against the tree and cross my arms. "There's grindylows in there you know and they
bite." I would fucking know.

"Since when were you afraid of grindylows?"

"Never. I just don't feel like splashing around in the water like a child." I reach into my
pocket and pull out my box of cigarettes. Just as I place one between my lips it's ripped out.

What a swift little bitch.

"I thought you quit." She says, snapping it in half. I go to pull out another but she yanks it
from my hand and tosses the entire thing into the lake.

My eyes follow as it plops down into the water. "I believe that's called littering, Granger. The
Hufflepuffs will have your head."
For the first time today, I allow my eyes to scan her body. The water dripping from her hair
falls between her breasts. Her bra nearly see through providing me with a clear view of her
nipples.

The knickers are new. Thin, covered in lace and surprisingly, a shade of green. Her fully
clothed is enough to make me hard but this, the way she looks now, it's enough to drive me
insane.

"Let's get this off, shall we?" Her hands tug at the hem of my shirt but I push it back down.

"Not a chance."

"Oh come on." She groans, attempting to lift it again.

"Never gonna happen short stack."

"Did you just call me short?"

"I didn't call you anything. I simply stated a fact, you're short. It's not your fault, just a result
of poor genetics."

"That's it." She says, yanking my arm as hard as possible. "You're getting in this water!"

Granger continues to drag me towards the lake, failing of course but it's cute to watch her
struggle.

"You're going to hurt yourself if you keep this up." I warn.

She stops pulling and releases me, her hand flying over her mouth just like it did last night
when she was about to be sick.

"Shit." I rush to her side and pull her hair back. "I got you."

In the blink of an eye I'm under water. This bloody bint is not getting away with this. She's
laughing hysterically as I climb out, it actually looks like she's in pain. "You think that was
funny Granger?" "I do." She struggles to get words out between laughs. "Funniest thing I've
seen in a long time."

She lets out a yelp as I wrap my arms around her torso and carry her over to the water. She's
kicking and flailing her arms as she giggles and screams for me to let go. "Your wish is my
command." I grin before throwing her into the water. She practically attacks me once she is
able to find her footing again.

It's a trading game at this point. She pushes me under, I return the favor and the process keeps
repeating until we both come to a truce. I'm smiling. Laughing. It's a strange sensation but
exactly what I've needed.

I'm doing the best I can at wringing out my clothes while Granger slips back into her dry
ones.
"Here." She holds out her wand and casts a drying charm. It doesn't completely rid them of
the moisture but it's a hell of a lot better. "Thanks." She nods before casting the same charm
on her hair. Once she's all put together again we find a place in the grass under the tree.

"The course of true love never did run smooth."

My heart stops. My breath catches. Throat tightens. Stomach twists. My entire body is
paralyzed.

"Excuse me?" I manage to choke out.

"It's beautiful, all of it." Her voice soft and innocent and it's infuriating. She was never
supposed to see that and if she did it was to be on my terms. For me to decide when and how
to give it to her. To watch as she read it. To see her reaction.

"Draco, I wanted to tell you that-"

"Give it back." I demand.

"What?"

"Are you deaf? I said Give. It. Back."

"I don't have it on me." She says.

"Bull shit!" I stand up and snatch the bag from beside her and begin digging through. "It's in
here. I know it is."

Granger gets up and tries to snatch it back but I turn and dodge her as I continue to shuffle
through the seemingly endless items within.

"Draco stop!"

"Not until I find it."

"You're being ridiculous!"

"No you are!" I want to wring her fucking neck. "That wasn't yours to take! You weren't even
supposed to see it!"

"I didn't mean to – I stumbled upon it and-"

"Have you ever thought about asking first instead of just taking? Has that ever crossed
your brilliant mind Granger?!"

"Let me just..." she reaches for the bag again but I move away and her hand instead lands on
my left forearm. Her eyes trained on the black lines that are faintly visible due to the
dampness of my white shirt.

"Draco... what is-"

"Fuck this and fuck you!" I snarl. "Keep the damn book for all I care." Shoving the bag into
her chest before storming off.

"Draco please!" She calls out.

"Stay the fuck away from me Granger!"

Glass everywhere. Bed stripped of its sheets, the fire turning them to ash. My room stained
with her scent. I'm losing my mind.

I'm going absolutely fucking insane.

There's a knock at my door. I open it, it's Theo. "What?" I bark out at him. His eyes glance
over my shoulder and take in the current state of my room but wisely chooses not to pry.
"Granger is outside the common room, she's asking for you?" His voice is timid, knowing
that it's the last thing that I want to hear right now. "Get rid of her." I command.

"What do you want me to-"

I slam the door in his face and resume the destruction of my room, of ridding any lingering
sign that she was ever here.

What a stupid little fucking thief. I don't even give a fuck about the book itself anymore, I'm
mad that she stole my moment, my chance to ever do it properly.

Why must she insist on doing whatever she pleases? Sometimes I wonder if there's even a
brain in that beautiful head of hers.

What a stupid stupid stupid cunt.

And to think, she is who I shared a bed with last night? What a fucking mistake. How could
my mind betray me like this? To think that I could trust her?

I can't trust anyone.

Not even myself.

That was the one thing I've managed to stick by all these years. I do not share a fucking bed
with anyone. I do not permit myself to be in that vulnerable state next to someone. To allow
them the chance to see me like that. Not after what has happened.

But yet I did. And of course it was her. It just had to be her.

Gods, am I really this pathetic? After everything, after all my efforts, I've become just
another man that succumbs to the fluttering eyes of a woman?

My father was right. I am a failure. I hate everything about him but I do find myself envious
of his ability to never steer from his plan, no matter who or what anyone says.
There's a tapping at my window, an owl. I open the window and retrieve the envelope, tearing
it open.

Target : Philip Milne

Objective : Execute
Location : Dalry. Edinburgh, Scotland.

For once I'm actually grateful to be given an assignment. Apologies Philip but you've caught
me at a bad time. This is going to hurt and you will endure every minute.
 Chapter 35

September 23 1996

All weekend she's been trotting her nosey self down here, pounding on the door, demanding
to be let in but I refuse each time. I'm done, that was it for me. Pansy was fucking right. All
this witch does is cause me agony, it's the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life and I
don't know how much more I can take. She cuts me open, breaks me down, weakens me. I
can't afford to be weak, not like I ever could before but especially not now.

The cabinet is proving to be more difficult than she is. I'd say they'd stand a better chance at
waltzing through the front doors than I am at getting the damn thing to work properly. At
least I've continued to manage to do one thing right.

I've been promoted. 17 years old and a Lieutenant General of the fucking Reformation. What
an honor, surely this will secure me plenty of jobs in the future. Who wouldn't jump at the
opportunity to hire a trained assassin with questionable morals?

The new title hasn't provided any new perks other than more work and a new added stress of
making sure my subordinates aren't complete fuckwits. (They are) If I'm not on an
assignment of my own during the night or working on the cabinet I'm off babysitting these
knobheads.

Theo has yet to be summoned but it's only a matter of time. Just yesterday there was a
meeting on an upcoming mission in which he is to assist me. Dolohov and Yaxley tried to
argue that someone else would be better suited seeing as Theo has yet to successfully carry
out orders solo but that only helped further prove my argument.

In all honesty I don't want him there because I think he will be of value to me, I could easily
handle this on my own, but the dark lord has insisted on two men going and Theo is the only
one I can stand to be around. I can literally feel myself lose brain cells when talking to the
rest of them. Being a death eater has already taken any sort of life I had away but my intellect
will not be another thing I'm stripped of.

I was supposed to be in Livingston tonight but got last minute word that I was no longer
needed. Thank merlin, I've needed a night to myself. Blaise rejoined the quidditch team this
year and has a game tonight so he's away. Theo chose not to try out again as did I. He and
Pansy are taking this time to enjoy the rare occurrence of having his dorm room to
themselves which leaves me to sit in the common room, undisturbed.

I've just poured myself a glass of whiskey when, like clockwork, there's a knock on the door.
Part of me wants to just answer the damn thing, to tell her that her endless knocking gives me
a headache and to piss off. Instead, I gulp down the contents of my glass and lay down on the
couch. She'll leave eventually.

Another five minutes pass by and she's still fucking knocking. Grabbing the pillow from
behind my head, I smash it down onto my face. She's pounding so hard on the door that it
almost seems possible she's close to breaking the bloody thing down.

It takes another ten minutes of this nonsense for someone to finally descend down the stairs.
"Fucks sake, I'm coming!" It's Pansy. I hear the creaking of the door which is then followed
by a "What the hell do you want?"

"Is Draco in there?" Granger asks.

"Merlin, you look worse than usual and that's saying a lot."

"Just tell me if he's here Pansy!" She shouts, unamused by the insult.

"Who was it?" Theo's voice rings.

Then I remember that I never told any of them that I didn't end up having to leave so they
both think that I'm gone and seeing as I'm laying down, shielded from their view by the
couch, they also don't know that I'm no more than a few meters from them.

"Ah, should have figured it would be you." Theo says. I can hear his hand slam against the
door, most likely to prevent Granger from entering. He informs Pansy to head back upstairs
and that he'll join her in a moment.

"What do you want this time Granger?"

"I just want to talk to him Theo."

"About what?" he asks.

"That's none of your business."

"I'd argue that. He's my best friend, my brother even, and every time your know-it-all
Gryffindor arse gets near him he returns worse than when he left. All you do is hurt him
which is a pretty hard thing to do. If I didn't care so much about the bastard I'd commend
you."

"That's not true." She says, though the tone of her voice gives away the fact that even she is
having a hard time believing her words.

"Draco has sworn off relationships his entire life and then you come around." Theo begins. "I
don't know what you did or how but you managed to melt that ice cold heart of his. A man
who would rather die than ever be vulnerable with someone says that he wants to be with
you, to date you and what do you do? Hide him away like he's some terrible secret."

"I had my reasonings which he was aware of."

"I don't care about your reasonings but I do care about him. You toy around with him because
you know that no matter what you do or say or how badly you treat him he's always going to
come back to you. You're his fucking achilles heel and you abuse it, whether it's intentional
or not."
"You think I enjoy this?! This back and forth with him?" Her voice strained.

"I don't know, do you?"

"No! Of course I don't!" She screams. "But he's so frustrating and then once things seem
good again he snaps and runs off and avoids me, just like he is now. He's being a coward!"

"No disrespect Granger but you don't fucking know anything." Theo scolds. "The things that
guy has been through... his whole life... I mean his father-"

"Is a piece of shit. I know."

"But you don't! Hell, I barely do and I've been there for a majority of it. Don't get me wrong,
Draco is a complete fucking dick who has a shitty attitude and is even shittier at handling his
feelings, which he refuses to ever admit he has, but there's a reason for that. He didn't just
wake up one day and decide to be the world's biggest tosser. If you had gone through even a
sliver of what he has I can guarantee you wouldn't be able to handle it."

There's silence for a moment before he continues.

"I know you saw it. It's written all over your face. You can't save him Granger, not from this.
Not even the brightest witch of our age can fix this."

There's a sniffle which I'm guessing is from her, if it was Theo then he's an even bigger wuss
than I thought.

"Can you at least tell me how he's doing? Please?" Her voice breaking on the last word.

He sighs before answering. "He's surviving, we all are. Truthfully, Draco has been holding up
the best or at least he appears to be, most likely because he's been occluding all the time. He
doesn't even drop it when it's just me."

"Is that a bad thing?" She asks.

Theo lets out a mocking laugh in response to her ignorance. "I watched him get tortured,
thirty times that man was cut and stabbed and then the next day... I don't even want to repeat
what happened then. But thirty fucking times Granger and do you know how many times he
flinched? Made even the slightest sound of discomfort or pain? Zero."

"That's what the scars on his back are from? Who did it? Why did they?"

"It was my fault really and I'll never forgive myself for it." He admits. Yup, a wuss.

"Theo, tell me what happened."

"Occluding is useful for many reasons, especially for keeping emotions at bay or discarding
them altogether." He says, ignoring her question. "But just like anything, too much is
unhealthy. So to answer your previous query, yes. The fact that Draco could literally be cut
open and not bat an eye is a bad fucking thing."
"I can help, I want to help him."

"If that's true, if you really mean that, then let him go. Give him one less thing to worry
about. Let him go Granger because merlin knows that he won't-can't let go of you. As long
as you keep coming back he's always going to hold onto to you."

What a fucking git. Speaking on behalf of me, as if he has even the slightest bit of insight on
my feelings. But it seems like his words struck something in her, forced her to finally
surrender.

"Take care of him Theo, please." She says.

"Trying my best."
 Chapter 36

September 28 1996

Since Granger's conversation with Theo her nightly ritual of pounding outside the common
room has come to an end which has been a blessing. My head is clear again resulting in my
focus returning. I'm sharper than ever and my occlumency hasn't faltered for even a second
since. No outbursts, no damaging my room or other inanimate objects. Just empty white
walls and everything neatly filed away.

I slip on my black robes, boots and grab my mask before heading over to Theo and Blaise's
room. Theo opens the door before I'm even given the chance to knock. They're all dressed in
their proper attire and remain silent. I step into the room and offer a curt nod.

"Ready?" I ask.

They all stand up and gather around me in the center of the room, each placing a hand
somewhere on my body. I take out the portkey and unwrap the cloth from around it. Once my
finger touches the pendant the room twists and turns and our bodies are pulled out of
Hogwarts and are then placed just outside the manor.

We have a meeting tonight, all sectors are required to attend. This will be my first time
stepping before everyone since my promotion. It didn't take long for those within
Reformation to fall into place, Dolohov tested me at first but I quickly reminded him of his
ranking. With that being said, I'm unsure of how easily everyone else will follow suit.

There's five sectors that make up the entirety of the death eaters. Operations,
communications, emissary (an extension of communications), reformation and the supreme.
My father works in emissary and my aunt Bella is within the supreme.

I'm no fool, I know that my father will never acknowledge me as anything other than his
offspring, no matter what ranking I may be in possession of. My aunt Bella is of no concern,
she's very quick to submit to those of higher status but it is her sector that has me on edge.

The Supremes are named as such because that is what they are considered, at least to
themselves. It's a small department containing the dark lord's most trusted followers. They
were the ones who remained strong by his side from the beginning of his rise to power and
after his falling.

Their jobs? Kiss the pale ashy arse of a psychopath.

Wormtail opens the door for us, his head immediately lowering as he catches sight of me.
"Lieutenant Malfoy." He says. "An honor to welcome you tonight." I extend no pleasantries
in return and continue my way through the foyer, stopping just outside the west study.

"You three head to the dining room and join the others. We will be out shortly." I inform
them. Blaise and Pansy nod their heads before departing, Theo stays back. "That includes
you, Nott."

He clears his throat before speaking. "Draco, if I could just-"

I pivot on my heel and meet his eyes with a hardened stare. "You are not permitted to speak
to me in such informal terms here. You are also not permitted to speak unless prompted to do
so and if you are you will use the proper title. It would be wise to remember your place
soldier. I am in no position nor do I have the energy to once again suffer the consequences of
your foolish tongue."

His throat bobs as he gulps back what I'm assuming are countless expletives.

"Have I made myself clear?"

He nods his head.

"I want verbal confirmation." I command.

"Yes, sir." He says through gritted teeth.

"Good. Now leave."

I run my hand through my hair and straighten my robes before entering the study. Voldemort
is sat behind the desk which is a perplexing visual to process. My father, Bella, Amycus and
Karkaroff are already inside, standing along the perimeter of the room.

"If it's not my rising star." Voldemort declares. "Lieutenant General Malfoy."

"My lord." I say, bowing my head.

"I trust you've come with some updates for me?"

"Yes, my lord. All targets have been properly disposed of and everything is set for
Southampton this coming Thursday."

"And the cabinet?" He questions.

"I have successfully transported inanimate objects but have yet to do the same for any living
ones."

"Very well. I am pleased with your progress, for now."

The others brief him on any current updates within their sectors before we all make way for
the dining room where everyone else awaits. Once the doors open they all rise to their feet
and watch closely as we enter. Everyone finds their respective seats, Voldemort at the head.
He waits a moment before motioning for us to sit. The meeting proceeds as usual, recaps of
the latest events and briefings on any future plans.

"There has also been a demotion and promotion within Reformation." He announces.
Dolohov's jaw tightens as he glares at me from down the table. Wanker. "As many of you are
already aware, Draco Malfoy has been assigned as Lieutenant General."

There's three small claps from everyone before the room fills with silence again.

"At such a young age and in a short period of time he has proven himself far more capable
than any of you before me. I would like to take this time to educate you all." He summons
Wormtail who shortly after enters the room, a woman trailing behind him. Her body is
dropped from the air and onto the ground just off to the side of the table. Voldemort stands
and gestures for me to follow.

"Our mission is simple." He begins. "Extricate the world of the weak. Something we will
never accomplish if you continue to be weak yourself. Lieutenant Malfoy."

"My lord." I say.

"Execute."

I reach under my robes and retrieve the knife from the holster strapped around my chest. As I
take a step towards the woman he grabs my shoulder.

"Execute but make her suffer." He commands.

Pansy, Theo and Blaise are all sat next to one another at the table, their spots providing them
with a clear view. I first remove an ear before cutting along her lower abdomen. All of the
color drains from their face as they watch in horror as I slowly dismember the woman.

They aren't the only ones who seemed to flinch at the sight. In fact, a majority of those
outside of Reformation seemed bothered which makes sense seeing as their duties primarily
keep them far away from partaking in any dirty work.

Once I've drained her of nearly 80% of her blood supply I finish off by driving the blade into
the side of her neck. The floor beneath her and robes of those sat too close by are stained with
splatters of red, my hands included. I wipe the blade on my sleeve before holstering it and
returning to my stiff stance with my hands folded behind my back.

"Take this as a warning." Voldemort announces. "If you fail your assignments then you are
failing me and it will be you that I have cut into next time."

October 10 1996

It seems Voldemort's little show worked well in getting everyone to stop slacking off and also
garnering me the respect that I was missing from those below me. I'm not entirely sure if it's
true respect or just fear but I see no difference in the two, something my father instilled in me
at a young age.

Theo didn't talk back once or hesitate to follow commands during our assignment last week
and even Blaise and Pansy seem to be taking their roles more seriously, even if they are off
duty at the moment. The look on their faces whenever they see me now doesn't bother me in
the slightest.

They're scared, disgusted, unsure of the man I've become and they should be. Everyone
should be. Despite Granger's constant efforts to convince me otherwise, I am not a good man.
The only difference between who I am today and who I was last year is that instead of
breaking noses I break necks.

October 19 1996

This cabinet is hopeless.

Ancient piece of shit.

I proposed using a portkey similar to the one I have to get their incompetent arses in here but
apparently there's some ward Dumbledore installed. Each student and faculty member has the
ability to pass through and those not within those categories must be granted permission.

Sounds like a load of bull shit if you ask me. I say we use a test dummy. Perhaps Greyback or
Yaxley, no one would miss either of them. Besides, they both cause more trouble than they're
worth. It's not that I want to speed up the process of killing my headmaster but I am growing
tired of this constant back and forth from Edinburgh or wherever it is they decide to send me
every other day. I manage a total of three hours of sleep, on a good day.

Thank Merlin for pepperup potion.

October 26 1996

I'm reading over the Carrows report on their recent assignment from when they joined
Greyback when there's a knock at my door.

"Come in." I say.

My eyes stay trained on the parchment in front of me as I hear the door quietly open and
close. I'm marking a section within the third paragraph when I hear him clear his throat.
Already well aware of what it is he's come to speak to me about I say. "Yes Blaise, the
Slytherin halloween party can still take place."

An almost inaudible "Yes." Is muttered under his breath but he's still standing there which
means that's not all he had to say. Placing my quill down I lean back in my chair and cross
my leg overtop the other, resting my ankle on my knee. "What is it?" I ask.

"This just arrived for you." He says, handing me a letter. As my eyes scan it over he begins
speaking again. "I am to inform you that any oppositions are forbidden."

Of course.
My jaw tenses before I meet his eyes again, careful to not show any shift in emotion. "Very
well, is that all?"

"Yes."

"Then you can go. I have a lot of work to do."

Once he's exited my room I read over the letter once more, gripping the parchment tightly
between my fingers.

Lieutenant General Draco Lucius Malfoy,

You are to begin courting. Below are a list of suitable woman that you may choose from.

The dark lord will be expecting reports from Mr. Zabini throughout the rest of term on your
progress.

- May he reign forevermore

October 31 1996

Astoria was the easiest choice. There wasn't anything wrong with the other four girls but I
barely know them and I don't have the energy or patience to change that. Astoria is perfectly
nice, not terrible looking and knows when to keep her mouth shut. She does as she's told and
generally stays out of the way. If I have to pretend to be with someone then all of those
qualities are preferred. It's also helpful that her father is also a death eater, it gives some
common understanding on how this will work.

"Yes. Yes! Of course!" She exclaims, practically jumping out of her seat.

"Tori, you do realize I'm not actually courting you, right?"

Her excitement dims as she adjusts her posture, rolling her shoulders back and folding her
hands neatly in her lap. "Yes." She says more calmly this time. "Of course."

You could say this was a bit of a cruel thing for me to ask of her. Whether or not Blaise took
it upon himself to constantly remind me, I am well aware that she has had a crush on me for
years. For a brief moment during third year I considered a future with her but in the end I
couldn't see it working out. She's not dumb but also isn't bright. She's embarrassingly
submissive, chews obnoxiously loud and her posture is far too stiff which reminds me too
much of my mother.

Tori is nice, yes, but she's not who I would want to spend the rest of my life with.

If I were to ever marry she has to value her education and take pride in her intellect. She
needs to have a mind of her own and be willing to fight back should anyone ever challenge
her. She needs to know the appropriate times to be refined and when to let her wild mind run
free. I do not want a life with someone who simply hosts tea and dinner parties. I want a life
with an equal. Someone who challenges me and vice versa. A woman to proudly stand by as
she accomplishes great things and for her to do the same with me.

I want Granger.

But her name wasn't on the list. I checked. Six times to be exact, just to make sure.

"Blaise is to report for the rest of term, we will go about this in a business manner." I tell her.
"I do not have the extra time to make this seem believable but a few appearances out together
should be enough to please the dark lord. First one will be tonight at the halloween party. I
will meet you there at 10:30."

I've already gotten up from my chair and began walking away when she says. "I thought the
party started at 10?"

"It does. I have other tasks to take care of first. Like I said, I will meet you there at 10:30."
 Chapter 37

"Yes. Alright. Sure. Understood." The call ends and the flames return to its usual red and
orange coloring as I step away from the fireplace. The floor is rattling from the blaring music
coming from downstairs and I already have a headache. Partying is the last thing I want to do
right now, regardless of the fact that students from all houses will be in attendance. I give my
bed one last longing look and let out a sigh before turning the knob and heading downstairs.

This is the most packed it has ever been and in all honesty I'm surprised. With the rumors of
myself flying through the corridors I would have assumed that no one would dare to step foot
into the Slytherin common room, to take the chance to even be near me and it's disappointing
that I was wrong.

I locate Blaise by the sound of his voice which is easily heard over everything else. He's off
in the corner with Theo, Pansy and Astoria. Perfect. I can mingle for a few minutes and stand
just close enough to Astoria so that he has something to report back at the end of the week.
Adjusting my tie, I push through the sea of students and close in on them.

"Lieutenant!" Blaise mocks, stiffening and straightening his posture as he raises a flat hand to
the corner of his eyebrow. I snap the back of my hand into his stomach which causes him to
hunch over. "It was an honor to be assaulted by you sir."

"Blaise, shut the fuck up." I groan, taking a seat beside Theo on the couch. "You don't have to
speak to me that way here." Pansy, who is sat in Theo's lap, offers me a bottle and I gladly
accept. Blaise claims the chair across from us and slumps down into it.

"Well fuck me for not wanting to end up on your bad side." He says. "Though I'm not sure
you even have a good one."

I'm about to say something when I feel a finger tap on my shoulder, looking up I see Astoria.

"Hello." She smiles.

"Hi."

"Can I?"

I move closer to Theo to offer her space beside me but instead she takes it upon herself to sit
in my lap. Theo, Pansy and Blaise all stare at us with wide eyes, their bodies still as if a bomb
was about to set off. "What do you think you're doing?" I hiss. "Just relax." She whispers,
patting my chest. "I know what I'm doing." I wrap my fingers around her wrist and remove it
from my body. "Don't touch me." I threaten and she obeys.

Like I said, embarrassingly submissive but right now I find myself grateful for it.

Refusing to make anymore physical contact with her than I already am, I drape my right arm
along the backside of the couch just behind Theo and bring my left hand, which is clinging
tightly onto the bottle, up to my mouth. Everyone takes this as a cue that nothing is out of the
ordinary and to continue on with their night.

I've been checking my watch every 30 seconds for the last 5 minutes. Just 10 more and then I
will have reached an acceptable time to leave and go back to my room.

"That's a nice watch." Astoria says. "Was it a gift?"

My fingers wrap even tighter around the glass bottle, so tight that I wouldn't be surprised if it
shattered in my hand. My jaw tightens and teeth grind as I attempt to maintain my
composure. She isn't aware that such a seemingly innocent question is enough to unravel all
the work I've put into keeping certain emotions and feelings at bay.

Thankfully, Astoria isn't clueless when it comes to reading body language. She takes notice
of mine and changes the subject entirely, this time addressing the entire group.

10 minutes. Just 10 more minutes.

"And then he literally spit in my sandwich!" Blaise exclaims, throwing his hands up in the
air.

"So what did you end up doing?" Astoria asks through her laughter.

"I told him to take his wand and shove it up his tight Russian bum." He says proudly.

Now everyone is laughing hysterically, except me. I'm not amused by his juvenile story nor
am I inclined to pretend to be. Blaise looks over at me and crosses his arms. "Oh come on
mate, that was a good one. Even you have to admit it."

I pour the final drop of liquor down my throat before replying. "It was childish and reckless.
You're lucky you got away with it."

"Loosen up, there was no harm. Besides, what would they have done? Turn me into a cutting
board like that one bint?" He mocks.

"Yes." I reply casually. He nearly drops his cup onto the floor as his face falls and eyes fill
with fear. "And I would have been the one to mark you." I add. Astoria shifts in my lap as I
sit forward, I almost forgot she was there. "This isn't the inquisitorial squad Blaise. You step
out of line and you will be dealt with accordingly. Umbridge's blood quill will look like
child's play compared to what you'd receive. So wise up and stop mucking about."

The energy instantly shifts, everyone is too afraid to be the first to speak up and break the
silence between us. I check my watch and see that my time here has finally ended. I tap
Astoria's knee and gesture for her to stand. Once she's up and out of my lap I get up to my
feet.

"Are you leaving?" She asks. What a stupid question, what does it look like?

"Yes." I say. "Feel free to stay with them, though I'm sure there's others that are far less
insufferable."
"I like them, they're fun."

"Okay." I turn to leave but she grabs my hand to stop me. We're going to have to have a
serious talk about personal space. Surely we can pretend to court without all of this skin to
skin contact.

"When are we meeting next?" She asks but as my head turns to look at her my eyes catch on
another pair, one with golden flakes that are visible even in this dark room. The brown eyes
now red flames as they burn through the hand gripping onto mine.

I can't remember what Astoria just asked me as I'm too focused on watching the wild curls
float through the room and away from me. I don't know what comes over me but I rush after
her, shoving every student who gets in my way. A Gryffindor spills their drink on my shirt
but I don't have the time to deal with him. Brushing my shirt, I continue on, following her out
into the empty and silent corridor.

"Granger." My usual flat tone faltering.

She stops in her tracks but keeps her back to me.

What was she doing here? What am I doing? I've finally been rid of her entirely and yet here
I am, chasing after her, praying that she will say something.. anything.

"That was quick." Her voice is small and quiet, so quiet that I'm unsure if she actually spoke
or if I just imagined it.

"What?" I ask and I hate myself for it. I hate when people ask me that. It's so stupid and just
shows how little they pay attention but right now it's the only word I'm able to form.

She turns, slowly and carefully. Her eyes are red and cheeks stained with tears. Tears that I've
caused once again. I want to wrap my arms around her and apologize. Tell her that I never
want to be the reason for her pain again but I don't. I keep my feet planted firmly because I
know that it would be a lie. There's no path that I can take where I won't hurt her, no matter
how hard I try.

Her broken voice bounces off the walls again. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you'd end
up with her."

Instinctively, I take one step forward. She takes one back and I freeze again.

"Granger, that wasn't what it looked like." I tell her.

"It looked like Astoria holding your hand."

"Alright, yes, that is correct but there was nothing to it."

"I can't believe I was actually going to come and fight for you." She says, shaking her head.
"Why was I daft enough to believe that you would still want me? That you were suffering
just as much as I have been?"
"Granger.."

"Don't do that."

"Do what, Granger?"

"That! Say my name like that. Like you..." Her eyes shut as she chokes back tears. "Like you
still care about me." She says, meeting my gaze again. "Like you still feel something for me."

Slowly, I take a step towards her and this time she doesn't back away. "Of course I still care
about you."

"You do?"

"Yes." I say, stealing another step closer. "You are the only person I care about. The only
person I will ever care about."

"That's not true." She says.

"But it is." I reply, another step and then another and another until there's only a brush of air
separating us. "Granger, I want you to listen to me very closely. No one and I mean no
one will ever hold my heart like you do. You are the only person I have ever given it to and I
never want it back. It and myself are yours forever, do with it as you please."

"You're drunk."

"Maybe." I shrug, grabbing a strand of her hair and twirling it around my finger. "But I've
never felt more awake." I drop the strand and brush my thumb against her cheek. "You're
beautiful."

She doesn't respond. Instead, she tucks her hair behind her ear and drops her head as she
smiles, the most beautiful shade of red washing over her cheeks.

For a moment, I forget how to breathe.

Her fingers wrap around my wrist and the feeling can only be described as a drug finally
entering my bloodstream after weeks of withdrawal. It's such a simple thing and yet it feels
like fucking ecstasy to have her skin against mine again.

I'm definitely drunk and the alcohol flowing throughout my body is the only reason I'm
saying any of this but I have no regrets, no shame. This life of mine is based on a
contingency that I have very little control over and I'll be damned if I waste it refusing myself
of the one thing that I want, that I've ever wanted.

I've been lucky enough to steal the attention of Hermione fucking Granger and she's here,
standing right in front of me and looking up at me with those big beautiful and perfect brown
eyes of hers and it makes every aching bone in my body go numb. Every muscle is turned to
absolute fucking liquid and any common sense I have is thrown out the window never to be
returned.
This is not what I should be doing. This is not who I should be with. This is careless, unwise
and selfish. So so fucking selfish.

fuck it.

Snaking my hand around the base of her neck I pull her into me and catch her lips with mine.
There's a hunger from both of us. The kiss is desperate, aggressive, sloppy and it feels like
I'm both dead and alive. If my heart were to stop right now I would gladly accept my fate. I'm
slanting my mouth, preparing to taste more of her when a wave of music shakes our bodies
and pulls us apart.

There's laughter and footsteps closing in. I grab her hand and pull her into the nearest open
door, a broom closet to be exact. Brings back some less than proper memories that would
surely disappoint my mother.

Once the voices have trailed off we both release a breath that neither of us had realized we
were holding in. I drop my head and rest my forehead against hers, taking her hands in mine
and kissing her knuckles.

"I don't know how we're supposed to do this Granger." I admit as reality sets back in.
"Everything is different this time. This isn't us against my father and your friends anymore,
it's so much bigger than that. It's dangerous."

She takes back her right hand and rests it gently against my cheek. "Then we will face it,
together."

Gods how does she manage to make me believe in anything? Am I really considering this?
Against all my better judgement am I really about to jeopardize everything, my life and
hers?

Standing up on her tippy toes she places a kiss in the center of my forehead.

Yes. I am going to. But only after I tell her everything. If she still wants to do this after
having all the facts then I am all in, no more running away or locking her in a box.

"Granger, there's some things you should know." I say but she cuts me off.

"You don't have to."

"Yes I do." I argue. "You deserve to know the truth. I'm not the same person I was last year.
There's things that I've done and more that will be expected of me. You need to know who I
am."

She shakes her head. "I know who you are."

"But-"

"Stop. Stop trying to scare me away, it's not going to work." She says. "I know who you are
Draco. You are the person who laid out a blanket because you knew that I would never let a
book touch the ground. You're the person who protected me from your own friend, who made
sure I was okay. You are the friend who takes cursed bludgers to the chest and knives to the
back because even though you say you don't, you care about them. You're the person who
spent an absurd amount of galleons to get me early editions from my favorite author and
cared for me when I showed up drunk outside your common room. And as much as you hate
it, you're the son who will do anything for his family, no matter how horrible they have been
to you. I know who you are so stop telling me that I don't."

I want so badly to tell her that I love her right now but it wouldn't be enough. Those three
words wouldn't be enough to truly explain how I feel about her.

"It's going to get ugly." I say. "This won't be easy."

"I was never a fan of easy anyways." She smiles and I swear my heart stopped.

I don't know what's going to happen and I can't make many promises but the one thing I can
promise is that I will do anything I need to in order to keep her safe, to keep her alive. I will
sacrifice myself before I ever let a single hair on her body be disturbed. I may be a death
eater and a lieutenant general of the reformation but my allegiance belongs to a short, smart-
mouthed, stubborn, brilliant, breathtakingly beautiful witch.
 Chapter 38
Chapter Summary

Welcome to Part Two

November 7 1996

I'm signing off on a report when Granger shuffles across the room and wraps her arms around
me from behind, resting her chin on my shoulder. "What are you working on?" She asks. "Do
you really want to know?" I ask, lifting a brow. Her eyes scan over the paper for a quick
moment before shaking her head. "Thought so." I say, kissing her once before standing up
and pulling my shirt up and over my head.

"Are you ever going to tell me where you got those scars from?"

"Theo already told you."

"He told me about the ones on your back but not your chest-wait-how did you know that?"

A smile creeps onto my face as I retrieve a new shirt from my closet.

"Draco.."

"I was on the couch." I tell her as I slip my arm through the sleeves.

"And you didn't say anything?!"

"You two sounded like you were having a moment, a real heart to heart. It would have been
rude of me to interrupt." I grin, buttoning my shirt. She walks over and slaps me on the chest.
"You dick!" "Ow!" I wince. "Shit. Draco-I'm so sorry-I didn't realize-" Her panic ceasing the
second I start laughing. "I'm fine Granger." I smile. "I'm just messing with you."

"Arse hole." She giggles, rolling her eyes as she walks back over to my bed and sits down.
"So, are you going to tell me or not?"

"Not."

"One day, Draco Malfoy," She says. "One day I will be able to crack you. You'll be spilling
all of your dirty little secrets to me."

"I wouldn't hold your breath Granger."

And she really shouldn't. There will never be a time where I burden her with my problems.
There's no need for her to ever know everything I have endured, especially at the hands of my
father, she already knows too much. What good would it do if I told her that the scars across
my chest were given to me the following day after Theo's misstep with Greyback? How
would she ever benefit from knowing that my father cursed me out for appearing that I care
for anyone other than myself? For showing weakness. Granger doesn't need to know that the
reason there's 17 scars is because that's the number of years I have been an embarrassment to
him, a failure.

My father will never change, he will never become a better man, just like she will never
change who she is which means she would think she could fix this. It would be a waste of her
energy and would only cause more problems and right now I have enough to deal with. I do
not regret my drunken confession to her because now I have her back. She's with me again
and I am never letting her go but my love for her does not grant her full access to my entire
life. There are some things that are best left unspoken and she will just have to learn to deal
with that.

If I wasn't still occluding I'd be a mess right now. Constant worry would consume me as
every possible way this, her and I, could go terribly wrong. She may not be in her box
anymore but she is still hidden and everything else still remains locked away. I allow my
guard to partially fall when around her but only enough so that I don't come off as an
emotionless soldier but any other time that is exactly what I am.

Just because I finally have the one thing that I want does not mean that I am free of my other
duties, including appearing to be courting Astoria. This time, it's me who is insisting on us
remaining in the shadows. Blaise wouldn't intentionally out us to the dark lord but his
occlumency is absolute shit so I can't chance it.

Today's assignment is a public display, I will be escorting Astoria to dinner in Hogsmeade.

Voldemort has eyes everywhere and I know he's not stupid enough to only trust Blaise's word
on the matter. Granger is less than happy about the arrangement but she understands. It's also
a perfect way to draw the attention away from her and I. As far as my friends are aware, I am
courting Astoria and Granger and I simply tolerate one another after our break-up, friends
even.

"You're not going to kiss her are you?" Bitterness infecting her every word.

"What's wrong with your face?" I ask, caressing her cheek. "Is that.. the look of jealousy?" I
smirk.

She swats my hand away which only makes me laugh. Grabbing my coat from the closet and
slipping it on I walk back over to her and lean down, touching her lips with mine. "No, I'm
not going to kiss her." I reassure her.

"Good." She exhales, relieved. "Because I'm not opposed to detention for hexing someone."

"You're extremely sexy when violent Granger." I say, running my thumb across her bottom
lip. "I don't think I've ever been more turned on than I am right now."
"Is that so?" Her fingers tugging at my belt.

I nod. "Surely Astoria wouldn't mind if I was a few minutes late."

Her hand brushes over me, pressing against my length causing my breath to catch. "Careful
love," I warn. "If you push me too far I can't say I'd be able to stop myself from ripping every
article of clothing off your body and bending you over my desk." A bright shade of red
dances across her face as she removes her hand from my body.

"As disappointed as I am, wise choice." I readjust my trousers and give her one last kiss. "I'll
be back in an hour."

"I like when you call me love." She admits just as I'm about to step out the door. I turn around
and look at her, the corner of my lips lift. "Then I will see you in an hour, love."

Hogsmeade

"You brought us to the Three Broomsticks?" Astoria asks, still clutching onto my arm. I've
been fighting her on it the entire walk down here but she was insistent on doing so, saying
that you never know where his people could be and that we have to at least try to seem
believable. I'm not sure if she takes me for a fool but I know it's just so she had an excuse to
touch me. At least I have a shirt and coat acting as a barrier between herself and I.

"Would you have preferred the grimy shack just down the road?" She doesn't respond. "That's
what I thought." I say, holding the door for her. "After you."

We find a table off to the right and near the back but not too far from the rest of the crowd,
making sure that we stay within view. We both order drinks and then settle into the silence
between us. Just because I have to be here doesn't mean I have to converse but apparently she
doesn't think the same way.

"How have your assignments been going?" She asks.

"Fine."

"And how are you settling into your new role?"

"Fine."

"The halloween party was fun, students are still raving about it."

"Good for them."

"Is this how it's always going to be Draco?"

"Yes."

She lets out a frustrated sigh and grabs her purse. "I'm going to use the loo."
"Wonderful."

Our drinks arrive not long after she left. I down nearly half of mine within the first minute of
being in possession of it. This is by far the worst assignment I've been given. I would
understand if it was my father who was ordering this but I fail to see what Voldemort gains
from me galivanting about with a woman.

Astoria's father has benefited from the arrangement though. There's certain perks of having
one of your daughters be courted by someone of high ranking within the death eaters. The
main one being, others fearing you. They're too afraid to cross him as they worry I would
show up at their house and cut a limb off or kill them altogether. I wouldn't. I couldn't care
less what they say or do to him, he is not family and never will be.

"Oh! Our drinks arrived, that's good." Astoria says, returning to her seat. She takes a sip
while I scan the room, if someone was sent to spy on us then I would be able to spot them.
It's decently crowded but not enough to hide anyone. I've cleared the west side of the room
and move on to the north and then, I spot her.

Elizabeth Trotley, operations. I've seen her a few times at the meetings and her name is
familiar as Pansy is constantly bitching about her to everyone. She's most likely in her mid
40s, stands just under 5 feet and has dirty blonde hair that appears to never have been brushed
through. An easy individual to point out in a crowd like this. I've spotted her before she's
found us, returning my attention to Astoria, just as Trotley's eyes land on us, I reach across
the table and grab her hand.

"What are you doing?" Astoria asks, choking on her drink.

"They're here." I say. "11 o clock." Her gaze turns to the complete opposite direction. "My 11,
Tori." She readjusts and takes a sharp inhale once she locates her.

"She's not what I would have expected." She tells me.

I lift a brow. "What would that have been?"

"I'm not sure." She shrugs. "Maybe someone who looks a bit more... I don't know.. like a
death eater?"

That one nearly earned a laugh from me. "And what does a death eater look like?" My senses
are on high alert, I can tell by the slight shift in her eye that Trotley is still watching us
carefully so I run my thumb against the back of her hand.

"I-" She gasps. "Er-I don't know. Scary? Dangerous?"

"Smile." I silently mouth to her and she does, then I say. "Is that how I appear? Scary,
dangerous?"

"Most of the time." She admits. "But there's also a mystery to you, it's intriguing and
inviting."

"Hmm." I hum. "The perfect combination to lure people in you could say."
"Yeah."

A few more minutes pass until Astoria informs me that Trotley has abandoned her table. I
turn to check for myself and see that she's correct but that doesn't necessarily mean she isn't
still here. I check my watch to see the time, we still have another 40 minutes or so.
Considering there is a chance that there's still eyes on us I decide, against my better
judgement, to ask Astoria about herself.

"How are your classes?"

"My what?" she asks, confused by the question.

"Your classes Tori, the thing you attend for nearly 10 hours a day."

"Oh, right, yes. Um, they're good."

I immediately check out from the conversation mentally but stay aware enough to nod my
head and pretend to look interested. She's telling some story about charms but all I've taken
note of is the fact that she has used the word 'um' thirty-seven times and the word 'like'
twenty-nine times. Rather inarticulate for someone that comes from a pure-blood family. That
and it's annoying. I don't even need to occlude to shut my brain off, her rambling has done it
for me. I check my watch and we still have 20 bloody minutes here.

"My turn to use the loo." I interrupt.

When I return I see an older gentlemen at our table and he's awfully close to her. When his
finger grazes her shoulder it sets absolutely nothing off within me, not a single shred of
anger, but then I spot that damn witch again. Trotley has repositioned herself to the front
corner of the room and she's watching their interaction very carefully, most likely waiting for
me to return and cause a scene.

I let out an exasperated groan as I run my hand down my face. Taking my sweet time, I
finally approach our table.

"Draco." Astoria says with extreme relief.

"Tori." I nod, my voice flat.

The man straightens and turns to face me. "Oliver." He extends his hand as he introduces
himself.

I look down at his hand and then back up at him, my own hands remaining stuffed inside my
pockets. "I didn't ask." I say.

He sizes me up before speaking again. "You're that Malfoy boy, aren't you? I can tell by your
pompous demeanor and blinding hair color. I know all about your family, specifically you."

"Do you now?"

"Yeah, I do." He says, pushing against my chest.

Catching his wrist, I say. "I find that hard to believe. You look far too calm, let me change
that." Releasing his wrist and repositioning my hand behind his neck, I slam his face down
onto the table causing our cups to topple over and for Astoria to let out a scared gasp.
Snatching a fork from a woman at the table beside us, I spin it between my fingers before
driving it through his hand. He lets out a pain filled scream as I lower my head down to
where his is. "There, a much more appropriate reaction to my presence." I motion for Astoria
to stand and she does so. Placing my hand on her lower back, I guide her out of the pub.

When we return to the common room Astoria thanks me for the hundredth time. I don't know
why she keeps doing so when I made it very clear the first time that I had only done so
because Trotley was watching. I'm just about to head back up to my room to see Granger
when Blaise pulls me aside.

"What is it Blaise? I've had a long day."

"Sorry mate but it looks like it's not quite over yet." He says, holding up a black envelope.

Fantastic.

A last minute assignment. At least I will be able to let Granger know when I grab the portkey
from my room.

"This was also sent." Blaise says, holding up a small box. "It's a portkey."

"I already have one."

"I was told to have you use this one and to tell you to leave immediately."

Fucking great.

"Alright." I exhale. "Just do something for me." I grab a spare piece of parchment from the
table and scribble down a note.

forgive me love,

duty calls, running a bit late. don't wait up.

- d.m.

I neatly fold it and hand it over to Blaise. "Slide this under my door. Open it and I'll kill you."
I threaten.

"But-"

"Ask questions and I'll kill you. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, yeah. Alright you wanker."

Location: Moscow, Russia

Time: 2:00 am

He's crying, he's been crying. This man stands at 6'5 and is currently curled up into a ball on
the floor, knees tightly held to his chest as he sobs like a toddler. "Fucks sake Minsky, at
least try to maintain some dignity." I ridicule.

"I-I don't k-know anything." He whimpers.

We've been at this for nearly 6 hours. I must say, I much prefer when I'm ordered to just cut
off their heads because this is just pathetic to watch. Throwing my dagger down, the blade
piercing through his left foot, I walk over and lift him up by the back of his hair. "Listen here
Minsky, I have already dealt with enough shit today and I'd really like to get going. So stop
with the fucking water works and tell me what I asked for."

"I told you!"

"No. You told me that you don't know anything which is a lie and I don't take kindly to liars."
Dropping his head and pulling my knife from his foot I begin to slowly pace in front of him
as I inspect the blade. "This would have been a lot easier if you didn't tamper with your
memories. A simple use of legilimency, a toe or two cut off and then you would have been on
your way. But, seeing as that's not the case your only option to make this end is to start
talking. Do try to remember that I not only have an extensive file on you but also your wife.
If you continue to refuse then I might just have to go pay her a visit. If I'm not mistaken she's
in Odintsovo currently."

His sobs come to a halt as he gulps back the last of his tears. I swiftly dart forward, pressing
my knife into his neck. "Speak." I command in Russian. He closes his eyes and mumbles a
quick prayer before finally answering, entirely in Russian just to be a prat about it but that's
fine. Once I've gotten what I wanted I break his arm, the pain intense enough to make him
pass out.

It's close to 3 am when I finally return to my dorm. The lights are off and Granger is most
likely fast asleep so I do my best to stay as quiet as possible while I slip off my jacket. Just as
I'm reaching to unclasp the holster around my chest the side lamp flicks on, a very alert
Granger staring at me as she sits up in my bed.

"You're awake."

"And you have blood on your shirt." She says.

"Does it make it any better if I tell you that it's not mine?"

"Oddly, yes."

"Then it's not mine." I smirk.

She rolls her eyes and fights back a smile. "Get over here."

I do as requested and clear the space between us in two strides, climbing on top of her as she
wraps her arms around me and pulls my face into hers. "Draco." She whispers. "Hmm?" I
hum against her neck. "Do you already have a boner?" My head pops up as her hand reaches
down my leg. Her eyes widen as she grips onto the handle of the knife strapped to my right
thigh. I sit up and watch as she holds it up and examines it.

"I'm honestly a bit insulted love, that is much smaller than my cock." I tease but she's still
concentrated on the blade.

Getting up from the bed I hold my hand out for her to return it and she does. I walk over to
my closet and begin removing the rest of the various knives and holsters from my body
before stripping out of my clothes. "How many of those do you have?" She asks. "15." I tell
her as I slip into a pair of joggers and a t shirt.

"Why do you have so many?"

"You of all people know that it's best to be overly prepared."

"Prepared for what?"

"Granger, we're not doing this."

"Why not Draco?"

"Because." I say, climbing into the bed.

"Because why?"

"Because I said so." My voice harsh.

Great. Now she's pouting. She's lucky I love her. "Come here." I say, holding my arms out.
She climbs over and lays on top of me and I begin stroking her hair. "I'm sorry but you know
that I'm just trying to separate that world and this one as much as I can."

"I know." she sighs, burying her face into my chest. I kiss the top of her head as I continue
running my fingers through her hair. "Can you at least tell me one thing? It doesn't have to be
much, just something." She requests.

I take a moment to think it over before answering. "I think about you the entire time I'm
away."

This seemed to suffice as she doesn't continue to pry. I listen as her heart rate slows and
breathing steadies as she drifts off. Once I know that she is asleep I allow myself to do so as
well.
 Chapter 39

November 16 1996

This cabinet is fucking stupid and a waste of time. I've made no further progress since
transporting that apple. It's five till midnight and I've spent my entire day in here which took
me by surprise when I checked my watch. There's no windows so I had zero concept of time.

Calling it a day, I head to the back of the room. Sometime during my second week of coming
here I discovered the mirror of erised hidden under an old blanket. I had read about it before
and figured something like this would be stowed away somewhere within the walls of
Hogwarts. I don't use it often but on harder days I find myself standing before it, today being
one of those.

It takes no more than a few seconds for her to appear behind me in the reflection.

"I've made a mess of things grandmother." I say. She doesn't respond, of course she doesn't,
she's dead. She does, however, offer me a sympathetic nod. "I had an out, a sure way to keep
her safe but I was selfish." I continue, taking a seat on the ground. "Do you remember the girl
that I used to complain to you about? The one who was always managing to mark higher than
me?"

She clasps her hands in front of her and nods again.

"It's her. I didn't mean for any of this to happen, to fall for her. I first fell in love with
competing against her, it was refreshing to have someone challenge me academically. I
analyzed her, took note of all of her quirks and weaknesses. She didn't have many of the
latter." I let out a soft chuckle. "She's extraordinary, you would have loved her. She's bold,
ambitious, caring, extremely stubborn and absolutely mesmerizing."

I'm now fiddling with the lace of my shoe, unable to look my grandmother in the eyes. "I
don't know when I switched from loving the competition to loving her. Perhaps I always
have." I admit. "All I know is that no matter what I do I'm always going to love her but I
don't know how to keep her safe. That's not to say I won't do whatever I can but father he-"
My voice catching. "He's done what he does best, put himself and his ego first without
thinking about who it will effect. And now here I am, a 17 year old assassin in charge of
other assassins. This wasn't what I wanted."

Finally stealing a glance up at her, I see her hand resting gently over my shoulder in the
reflection. I want so badly to break right now, to let everything spill out, but I can't because if
I do I don't know if I'll be able to put everything back. I have to remain strong right now, I
have to remain numb to it.

"I wish you were still here grandmother." Gods do I wish she was. She was the only one who
was ever brave enough to step up to my father, to call him out on his selfish ways. I
remember overhearing a heated argument between the two of them when I was 10. She was
scolding him for not prioritizing his family, telling him that he's failing my mother as a
husband and me as a father. That if he continued the way he was I was going to end up just as
messed up as him and she was right because that's exactly what happened.

She passed three years ago and it still hurts to think about. I think I've always used a form of
occlumency growing up, even if I wasn't aware of it. Once my father started to really show
his true colors and "toughen" me up is when I began sorting and locking away certain
memories and emotions.

If I ever cried or screamed when he would hurt me I was met by more punishment. The only
way I was ever able to get through those nights would be to file everything away. It makes
sense that I mastered it so quickly when my mother began teaching it to me.

I spend a few more minutes with my grandmother before departing.

Back in my dorm, Granger in my arms as she reads a book, I finally say what I've been
thinking about for awhile now. "I'm going to teach you occlumency."

She drops her book immediately and looks up at me, eyebrows knitted together.
"Occlumency?"

"Yes." I say. "I can protect you physically but not mentally, I can't save you from your own
thoughts."

"What's wrong with my thoughts?" She asks, turning over and propping herself on my lower
abdomen.

I brush her hair back and out of her face. "Besides the fact that you have far too many?" She
playfully slaps my chest which makes me laugh. "There's nothing wrong with them. I would
just feel better if you were capable of controlling what people have access to should anything
happen."

And there it is. That look in her eye. Telling me that her mind is already spiraling as she
composes hundreds-no-thousands of different scenarios where one might try to peek into her
memories. She sits up and crosses her legs. "Okay." She nods. "Teach me."

November 18 1996

"You're trying to do too much at once, focus on one at a time." I tell her.

She takes a deep breath and slowly releases it before instructing me to go again. There's
slight resistance but I'm still easily able to gain access. This round I choose one from her
childhood, she's running around the backyard with her father. He's chasing her while she
screams and attempts to outmaneuver him. She's wearing a pajama set that has various
different cats printed onto it. If I had to guess, I'd say she's around the age of 9 here.

I pull back out.

"Cute pigtails." I smirk.

"Shut up."

"You should start wearing it like that again." I say, grabbing her hair and sectioning it into
two.

"Why are you still able to see everything?" She asks.

"Because you still have no control."

"I'm trying!"

"Try harder."

She collapses back onto the bed as she lets out an irritated huff. For the past two days we've
spent all of our free time doing this. Me, using legilimency and her, failing at using
occlumency. I knew it wasn't going to be an overnight thing but the same can't be said for
her.

"Come on." I say, lifting her body and turning her around so that her back is resting against
my chest. "What would you do in the past when you'd struggle with an assignment?"

"Approach it from a different perspective." She says.

"Then implement that same work ethic into this. View this as just another assignment."

"How did you get so good at it?" She asks, turning to face me. "It seems like you picked it up
right away."

"I had a lot to suppress." I admit. "It was almost like second nature, a way for my mind to
protect me."

She's giving me that sympathetic look again. "Granger, we've discussed this. I will not be the
recipient of that sort of look."

"What sort of look?" She says, pretending to be oblivious.

"The one where you look at me like I'm some sort of abused puppy."

"Fine. What about this one?" Her eyes darken slightly and there's a glint of mischievousness
to them as she bats her eyelashes seductively. Her fingers trail slowly down my chest and
stop just above my waistband as she pulls at her bottom lip with her teeth.

Fucking hell.

Instantly, my cock twitches and my trousers are suddenly uncomfortably tight. "Now that one
I can get behind."

November 29 1996
"Tell me why I have to do this again?" I groan as she drags me down the corridor.

"Because, we may be keeping our relationship a secret right now but one day we will have to
tell everyone and it will go over a lot smoother if we introduce you as a friend first." She tells
me. I stop dead in my tracks which causes her to fall back slightly.

"What is it?"

I fold my arms across my chest. "I don't like you calling me your friend. I am not your
friend."

She rolls her eyes and walks up to me, placing both of her hands on my chest. "You're right,
you're my best friend."

A single brow raises. "I thought Potter and Weaslebee were your best friends?"

"Nope, you are."

"What about Weaslette?" I question.

"Still you." She smiles.

"Hmm. Can you say this when we see them? I'd love to see their faces when they find out." I
grin.

"Come on." She sighs, grabbing my hand and dragging me again. "We're going to be late."

Personally I think this is a terrible idea. There will never be a world where her friends and I
will ever get along. This is just another example of how her excruciating optimism clouds her
judgement.

We're about to approach the south courtyard where we're meant to meet the dumb fucks when
I stop her once again. "What is it this time Draco?" She asks, growing impatient. "A
warning." I say. "Your children better play nice because despite your absurdly high opinion of
me and the fact that I'm occluding nearly every emotion, I am still incapable of standing idly
by when someone challenges me. I am, however, perfectly capable of disemboweling
someone with my bare hands."

She begins laughing but immediately stops when she realizes that I'm not kidding. "Right."
She gulps. "This should go well."

And there they are, scarhead and Weaslebee. They jump up to their feet the second they spot
Granger, wrapping their arms around her like she's been overseas for the past decade. I
already feel like I'm going to vomit.

"Merlin Mione, your message made it sound like you were dying or something." Mrs.
Weasley's sixth biggest mistake says.

"You seem to be in one piece." Four eyes adds as he checks her body for any cuts or bruises.
"Stop it Harry." She says, swatting his hand away. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Well then what is it you needed to urgently see us for and why couldn't we just meet in the
common room?" The more Weaslebee talks the more I justify punching him.

Granger's head turns to look at me, their eyesight following. They immediately begin
objecting to my presence and spewing countless questions such as "Have you gone mad?
What are you doing with Malfoy?" and "Has he drugged you? Are you under an imperio right
now?"

"Quiet!" She shouts, instantly shutting them up. "Draco, come here."

"Draco?!" Potter's jaw drops. "Since when did you get on a first name basis with the twat?"

"She's gone completely mental, I'm telling you." Weaslebee says.

"I am perfectly sane for your information." She argues. "Draco and I are friends."

Best friends, tell them that we're best friends Granger. Do it. Do it. I want to see them cry.

"Now. I expect both of you to try your best to be as cordial as possible." She tells them.

"Cordial?! Give me a second to process all of this Mione. My brain hurts just thinking about
you two even being friends." Weaslebee says, rubbing his temple.

"You would have to have a brain in order for it to hurt." I say which earns a harsh slap to the
arm from Granger.

"It would make me very happy if you all could be friends or at least friendly." She tells us.

"You want us to be friends with that?" Potter's voice full of disgust as he points at me.

"It's an unfortunate circumstance for me too Potter." I reply. "Has anyone ever been honest
enough to tell you that your face is slightly lopsided? The scar is the best thing that happened
to you, gives an excuse as to why you ended up looking the way you do."

"Hermione you can't be serious." Potter groans. "He's only spoken twice and each time was to
insult the both of us."

"I wasn't insulting either of you." I scoff. "I was simply describing you."

"Enough!" Granger snaps. "All of you are important to me and you will get along, whether
you like it or not."

There's silence between all of us, both of the pinheads are glaring me down while I stare back
at them blankly. This is the longest I've actually taken notice to what they really look like,
they're even uglier than I remember. Perhaps I should suggest using them in the future when
we torture information out of people. The sight of them alone would be enough to get people
to beg for us to let them go.
"I'm not shaking your hand or anything." Gingerfuck snarls.

"Please," I mock. "I wouldn't touch you if my life depended on it."

Granger slings her arm around my shoulder and Potter's, pulling us closer together, a wide
smile plastered on her face. "This is going to be fun."

I think I'd like to kill myself now.

 Chapter 40

December 4 1996

My morning tea, the only time I'm able to relax and have a moment of peace. A peace that is
interrupted by the slamming of a book down on the table followed by a fiery redhead stealing
the seat directly across from me.

"Charity cases sit over there, Weaslette." I scornfully remark, pointing over at the Gryffindor
table.

"What are your intentions with Hermione?" Her blunt question catching me off guard.

"My intentions with Hermione?" I reiterate as I slowly bring my cup to my mouth.

"Yes. What is the true nature of your relationship together?"

"The true nature of our relationship?"

"Stop repeating my questions back to me Malfoy!"

"Then stop asking stupid questions, Weaslette."

She gives up on her prying but doesn't leave me be entirely. Instead, she grabs a scone from
the dish sat between us and bites into it as she stares me down. I think I preferred it better
when her friends still believed we hated each other. They're like cockroaches, no matter how
many times you stomp on them they just keep coming back and more annoying each time.

10 minutes have passed and the youngest Weasley is still eyeing me down and she's eaten the
last scone. Invasive and has no manners. "Don't you have some first years to round up?" I
ask. "Don't you have some second years to bully?" She challenges. "No, that's not scheduled
until later this afternoon." I smirk. Weaslette rolls her eyes as her greedy fingers now snatch
up the last slice of toast.

"You truly are your brother's sister." I mock.

"I know you and Hermione are dating." She admits casually. "Or at least shagging."

I blink at her. The only part of my body that I allow to react to her statement. Perhaps I
misheard her.

"It was quite obvious, to me at least. She never sleeps in our dorm anymore and then all of a
sudden she's forcing you, Harry and Ron to be friends? Hermione is extremely talented at
many things but subtlety is not one of them. I also don't know why she thought forcing the
three of you to be friends would work."

Finally, someone who has their head on straight but wait - why isn't she more upset about
this? Not even a hint of opposition to Granger and I being together. Yeah, I don't trust this
shit for one second. Focusing my eyes on her I break just past the surface, enough to garner
me access to her thoughts but not deep enough to where she would be aware of it.

I immediately break the connection when fantasies of her and scarhead play out before me.
Revolting.

"Surely you can do better than Potter." I say.

Her eyes practically pop out of her head as she chokes on the toast. "How did you-"

"Why aren't you upset?"

"About what?" She asks through a cough.

"Granger and I. You haven't even attempted to hex me which, I must admit, is unsettling."

"Because."

"Because?"

"Because," She exaggerates. "For a month or so she was miserable to be around, constantly
sulking about the dorm and then one day she quite literally skipped her way in, I'm assuming
that's when you two got together." The mere thought of Granger skipping out of happiness
makes me smile. "Stop smiling." She demands. "It's unnerving to see you display any
emotion other than anger or disgust."

Ignoring her snide comment I say "So you're... happy for us?" She shakes her head. "I am
happy that Hermione is happy, I honestly couldn't care less about your emotional state." "Aw,
Weaslette, the feeling is entirely mutual." I smirk.

There's silence while a few scowls are exchanged back and forth before she speaks again.
"So, your intentions. What are they?"

"To taste every inch of that delicious body of hers." I reply, her face instantly scrunching up
in disgust. "And," I continue. "To protect her and do everything I can to keep her happy."

"Hmm." The redhead crosses her arms as she studies my face, searching for any hint of
dishonesty. "If you hurt her I will kill you."

This earns a small chuckle from myself. "Trust me Weaslette, if I somehow fuck this up I will
have no objections to that."

There's an unspoken understanding from the both of us and a truce to tolerate one another, for
Granger's sake. "I still think you can do better than Potter." I tell her. "Malfoy, with the
utmost offense, piss off." The remainder of breakfast is thankfully silent as I sip on my tea
and she finishes off every last crumb of food before her.

Returning to my dorm, Granger sat in the chair by the window with a book in hand, I
approach her from behind and massage her shoulders as I lean down and kiss her.
"How was breakfast?" She asks.

"Interesting."

"Interesting?"

I nod as I continue rubbing her shoulders. "The girl Weasley sat with me."

"Ginny?!"

"Mhm, marched right on up and claimed her spot like she owned the bloody place." I tell her.

Granger snaps her book shut and turns to look at me. "What did she want?"

"To know my intentions when it came to you, she's aware that we are more than just friends. I
have to give it to her, she's got some giant balls calling me out like that." I laugh.

Both of her eyebrows raise as she stares up at me. "So, you're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad love?"

"Because Ginny knows."

"Again, I ask, why would I be mad? I'm honestly surprised it took her this long to piece it
together. Besides, I thought you'd be happier about this piece of news, now you have
someone you can go gossip to about me."

"That would be nice." She admits. "Maybe we can even spend a few nights in my dorm!"

"Love," I sigh. "Weaslette may be alright with us dating but I don't think she is too keen on
the idea of us all sharing a room and I'm not sure I am either. Her face isn't really something I
wish to see in the morning when I wake with a hard on."

"Surely you could manage to control yourself." She teases, now propped up on her knees as
she leans over the backside of the chair.

My jaw tightens as I take my time scanning over her breasts which are on perfect display.
"I'm afraid I am completely incapable of doing so when around you." I say, running my
finger down the side of her neck and along her clavicle. There's that glint of mischief in her
eyes again, her eyelashes slowly batting as she looks up at me.

My hand pinches at the top button of her shirt and I continue making my way down, pausing
and raising a single brow when a sheer slytherin green bra is revealed, my cock twitching at
the sight of it. "It's new. Do you like it?" Her voice far too innocent for knowing all too well
what she's doing to me right now.

"You look positively ravishing."

Her fingers dance their way down my torso. Reaching my waistband, she hooks her finger
around my belt loop and forcefully yanks me forward, her tongue wasting no time in finding
mine. As I swallow back the moan that escapes her throat I glide my hand up her inner thigh,
pressing my palm against her center, her hips jumping into my hand.

My left hand tangles within her curls, pulling her head back to provide me full access to her
neck. My mouth trails along her neck, kissing, sucking and biting my way down to her
breasts while my right hand teases the outside of her perfect little cunt.

"Draco.." She moans.

The sound is enough to turn me feral. Gods I want her so bad, all of her. I want to feel her
warmth wrap around my cock as I slide inside of her, to feel her walls tightly grip around but
we agreed. We agreed that we wouldn't go that far unless she wanted. She had to be the one to
ask because if it was up to me I would have taken her ages ago.

"Draco, please."

Lifting my head, I take her face in my left hand. "Use your words, love."

"I-" her breath hitches as I flick her clit.

"Tell me what you want." I command, my voice low and husky.

"I want you." She pants. "All of you."

This catches me off guard. My hand now moves down to her throat, my fingers firm but
gentle around her neck. "Are you sure? Because once I start I don't think I'll be able to stop,
even I don't possess that much self control Granger."

"Yes." Her fingers work swiftly to unbuckle my belt. "I'm sure. I want this, I want you."

That's all I needed to hear. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pick her up and carry her
over to my bed. Throwing her down onto the mattress, I crawl on top of her and waste no
time in ripping open her shirt and connecting my mouth to her breasts, my tongue lapping
around her nipple before kissing my way down her stomach until I reach her skirt.

My fingers slide between her skin and the cotton fabric. Gripping onto the edge, I rip it open
down the middle. My eyes devour her body, the only article of clothing left being her
knickers which perfectly match her bra. "Gods you drive me insane." I groan before lifting
her left leg, kissing and biting my way up them until I reach those sinful knickers of hers.

"I never want you to take these off." I say, pushing them aside and pressing my mouth against
her pretty cunt. My thumb rolling over her nipple as I run my tongue up the length of her slit,
her hips buck but I force them back down with my free hand.

I bring my right hand to her entrance and slowly slide a finger inside, her head falling back as
she lets out a pleasure filled groan. Gods she so wet for me, she's practically dripping all over
my bedsheets. My mouth hovers over her clit as I pump in and out of her.

She's mumbling, moaning, begging for more.

Her fingers are tangled in my hair, tugging at the ends. "Please Draco. I want you now."

"All good things come to those who wait." I smirk.

She wasn't pleased with that. Her lips are curling, preparing themselves to curse me out but
it's interrupted when I curl my finger inside and press against her wall, sucking on her clit
simultaneously.

"Fuck." She mutters. My jaw tightens and I groan into her.

I can feel her walls tightening around me, her hips fighting against my hand as she edges
closer. I pull away. Sitting up, I remove my fingers and place them inside my mouth, sucking
and licking every last drop of her. "You taste fucking divine, love."

Granger tries to sit up but I force her back down. Removing my tie, I lower myself and
command. "Hands." She raises them, palms facing me, as if surrendering. I let out a chuckle
before gathering them both with my left hand and pulling them towards me, securing them
together with my tie.

Slipping off my shirt and removing my trousers, I pin her bound hands above her head. "I'll
go slow at first but the second a moan escapes that pretty mouth of yours I'm not holding
back, understood?"

She nods.

"I want verbal confirmation Granger."

"Y-yes." Her voice shakes. "Understood."

Lowering my hips down between her legs, my cock pressed tight against her. "Good girl." I
smirk, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. I reach down with my right hand, push her knickers
to the side and run my tip along the outside of her entrance, she bites down on her bottom lip
as I slowly push my way in. She lets out a small whimper which instantly alerts me. "Are you
okay?" I ask. "Yes, keep going." I do as requested and continue until every inch of me is
inside and our hips meet.

"Fuck." I groan, biting into her shoulder. "Tell me I can move, please."

"You can mo-" My hips retreat and then snap into hers before she can finish her sentence and
then there it is, a moan.

Pausing, I lift my head and look down at her. "Would you like to take that back?"

"No." She sheepishly responds.

"Very well." I grin.

I begin thrusting, fast and hard. Her heat swallowing me, her walls pulsating around me as
her hips buck up into mine. I attack her neck with my mouth, moving up and down and along
her jaw line.
My right hand moves down, raising my hips to provide just enough room for it to slip
between us. My thumb finds her clit and I press and draw circles around it.

Fucking hell, she's moaning so loud I wouldn't be surprised if every student in this damn
castle can hear her crying out my name.

I pull my hand away and retrieve a spare pillow, tucking it just under her hips to provide me
even deeper access.

She's squirming underneath me, unable to contain the pleasure. Her eyes are rolled back and
lips are parted ever so slightly as countless "fuck draco" and "please don't stop" escape them.

Everything I've dreamt of, fantasized about, is nothing compared to this. The way her cheeks
are stained red, how her breasts bounce as she takes every inch of me and gods the way her
cunt is dripping all over my cock. My mind is a haze, too consumed by this witch and the
way she feels around me.

She's trying so hard, fighting to reach for me but I still have her arms bound and pinned
above her head.

"Please Draco, I want to touch you."

I lift her arms up and slip my head between. Her fingers scratch into my upper back and for
the first time in months I drop a part of my occlumency, the area that numbs any pain.

Every single one of my nerve endings are on fire. Her nails are digging into me, I can feel her
ripping open my skin and the blood trickling down my back but all I feel is pleasure. It's
radiating throughout my entire body and it's driving me mad. I bite into the skin just above
her breast and it causes her to dig even deeper.

"Fuck Draco.." a breathless moan. "I'm going to-I'm-"

I remove her arms from around me and pin them above her head again, my right hand
wrapping around her neck.

I quicken my pace. Her hips buck. I thrust, harder and deeper with each stroke. Her back
arches. She groans.

"Look at me." I command. "Look at me sweetheart." She struggles to keep her eyes open but
eventually meets mine. "Good girl." Her pupils have consumed her iris, only a sliver of
brown remaining.

She's so tight. So fucking tight. And she's gasping, moaning my name. Every muscle in my
body is constricting and my hand moves to her cheek, caressing it as I slip my thumb inside
her mouth and she wraps her lips around and fucking sucks on it. Fucking minx.

It's enough to send me over the edge but not yet. Not until she does. I thrust even faster and
harder and I feel her walls tighten even more and her chest is arching towards me.

"That's it love," I praise. "Cum for me. Cum all over my cock."
She groans and I snap my hips once more and she comes completely undone and so do I. Her
body stiffens and her chest stalls for a moment before exhaling and relaxing down into the
mattress. My head drops down, my forehead on hers. Our panting echoes throughout the
room as we struggle to catch our breath.

My left hand unties her wrists as I kiss her forehead, cheek, nose and then her lips. Her arms
now free, she wraps them around my neck and pulls me tightly into her. I kiss her forehead
once more before getting up. "No, don't go." She whispers, her breath still unsteady.

"I'll be right back, I'm just grabbing you some water and a towel to clean you up."

Lifting myself off the bed I head to the bathroom and do just that. Returning, I hand her the
glass and begin wiping between her legs while she sips on the water. Climbing back into bed,
I pull her into my chest, cover her with the blanket and stroke her hair until she drifts off.
 Chapter 41

December 5 1996

"I truly hope this isn't going to become a regular thing." I groan, taking my usual spot at the
end of the Slytherin table in the great hall, Weaslette sat on the opposite side.

"I'm going to figure you out." She tells me, her eyes narrowing as she points a finger at me.

"You will have a better chance at getting a normal family." I mock. She picks up a sausage
from her plate and throws it at me, it bounces off my chest and onto the floor. "How old are
you again? 10?"

"I'm only a year younger than you dickhead."

"And yet you refuse to act accordingly." I reply. "Throwing food and shit, you're almost as
immature as Blaise."

"Speaking of, why don't you sit with your little fan club?" She asks, looking down at them.

They're already staring at us, clearly confused as to what a Gryffindor is doing at our table.
"Blaise talks too much." I tell her, pouring myself a cup of tea. "Another thing you two have
in common, perhaps you should shift your affection from Potter to him."

"Yeah, no thanks." She says, a repulsed look on her face. "How come Hermione doesn't join
you for breakfast?"

I let out a slow and exasperated sigh. "Why do you ask so many questions?"

"Because I'm trying to understand what my best friend sees in you. There must be some sort
of redeeming quality about you hidden deep deep deep-"

"I get it." I drawl.

"-Deep deep and I mean deep down." She continues. "So what is it then? Why doesn't she
join you for breakfast or even come down at all?"

This one I only have half an answer for. "She knows I like to spend my mornings alone,
unlike someone." Weaslette rolls her eyes. "As for the second half of your question." I
continue. "I haven't a clue."

Okay, that's a slight lie, I do kind of know. She's been working on her occlumency as often as
she can. She's made some progress, nothing to write home about, but regardless - progress is
progress.

I've tried to tell her that she can take breaks, recommended she see her friends more often.
I've suggested such for her own sanity and for mine. Not that I don't love spending every
minute with her but I want to know that, should anything happen to me, she will still have a
life and friends she can turn to.

I don't want to feel like I am her only person, I mean - I do - selfishly I want to be the only
person she gives a damn about but I also know that it would be unwise and unhealthy for her
to be that way. She needs more, she needs her friends, even if they are complete morons.

Every day that passes is a day closer to death eaters, well... more death eaters, invading
Hogwarts. It's only a matter of time before I get that damn cabinet to work properly and once
that happens I won't be able to be with her all the time. Granger will need to find solace in
her friends while I find it in knowing that she is safe.

I hate the look she gives me whenever I return from an assignment. There's so much worry
and it seems to take longer to fade each time I leave. She's unaware of the details and for
someone who likes to be in control like herself it's an unsettling situation to be in but I
remind her that she is the one who said she didn't need to know.

I tried to tell her, to give her insight, and she refused. Just because I now occasionally return
with blood stains does not mean she's allowed to go back on her word. She made her decision
and she's going to have to learn to live with it.

"Hello!" Weaslette snaps her fingers. "Are you even listening to a word I'm saying?"

I blink. My expression impassive. "No."

"You're a prat." She scoffs

"And you're getting on my nerves." I say, rolling my eyes as I take a sip of my tea and open
my book. "Now shut up, eat your food and let me read in peace."

December 6 1996

For fucks sake, you've got to be kidding me. I didn't think it was possible for someone to be
more stubborn than Granger but Weaslette seems to be proving me wrong. As I approach my
usual spot, her lips begin to part but I hold up a hand to silence her. "At least let me have my
cup of tea before you begin interrogating me."

She watches as I take my time pouring myself a cup, her foot tapping impatiently below the
table as I take even longer to drink it. Once I've finished, I place the cup slowly back down
on the saucer and close my eyes as I drag in a deep and much needed breath, slowly releasing
it and relaxing my shoulders, I meet her eyes.

"Alright, what are your fifty questions today?" I ask.

Her arms are folded across her chest as she sneers at me. "Oh, are you done now?" Her tone
full of sarcasm.
"Now that you mention it," I say, reaching for my cup. "I could go for another." She smacks
the cup out from under my hand causing it to fly off the table and crash to the floor. "Careful
Weaslette, I don't believe your father has the means to afford your poor temper."

There's a flash of guilt in her eyes knowing that, regardless of my snide tone, I'm right.

"Let's not stress." Retrieving a galleon from my pocket and placing it down on the table in
front of her. "That should cover three teacups. Just remember, you've already used one."

She doesn't respond, just stares at me.

"You don't want it?" I ask, lifting a single brow. "I guess I'll just take it back then." As I reach
for it she quickly swipes it and shoves it into her pocket. "Thought so." I smirk. "Are you
planning on speaking today or am I finally getting the silent morning I've so desperately been
craving?"

"When did it start?" She asks.

"When did what start?"

"Your feelings for her."

"Yeah, I'm not answering that."

"Why not?"

"Because why would I tell you that when Granger hasn't even heard the answer yet?"

"Fine. That's fair." She admits. "Well then what do you like about her?"

"What do you like about her?" I question.

"Easy. She's kind, caring, generous, extremely selfless and always there for her friends. She's
the best person I know."

I wonder what my friends would say about me.

"You left out the fact that she's absolutely dreadful at shutting her brain off." I add. "Never a
quiet moment in that head of hers."

"Yes, there is that." Weaslette sighs. "It can be a bit much sometimes."

"I find it endearing." I shrug. "Annoying but still endearing."

The fuck is wrong with her face? Something has caused freckle-face's mouth to pull up into a
smug smile.

"Are you having a seizure?" I ask. "Because I know how to help if you are, not that I would."

"You love her." She tells me, her eyes softening a bit.
"You love her."

"Yes, I do."

"Glad we settled that." I say, directing my attention down to my book. "You've reached your
limit of being a pain in my arse for the day which means it's time for you to shut up for the
next 24 hours."

December 15 1996

I'm not even surprised when I see her at my table in the mornings now. Just as I had worried,
it has become a regular thing. Every. Damn. Day. She claims her spot across from me and
asks some nonsensical question. Granger is all too happy about it. I think she's just glad that
I've managed to be around one of her friends without killing them... yet.. still a very real
possibility.

I'll admit, Weaslette is probably the least insufferable of the lot so if I must be in the presence
of one of them at least it's her. Today I have a box of sweets in hand which I slide over to her
before taking my seat. Her eyebrows raise to her hairline as she stares at the box.

"Relax freckles, they're from Granger." I reassure her which causes her shoulders to lower.

"Thank Merlin." She says relieved.

"I was the one who paid for them though, so feel free to thank me as well."

"Th-th-tha- nope." She shakes her head. "I can't do it, not sorry."

"You have a terrible personality freckles."

"And you have an ugly one, also why are you calling me freckles?"

I shrug. "You have freckles, do you not?"

"I do."

"Then there's your answer. If you'd prefer a different name I can assure you I have plenty.
Let's see.. there's shit-for-brains, bug eyes, oh! I could lend you one of your brother's,
gingerfuck."

"Alright! Freckles is fine.. I guess." She groans.

"I knew you'd love it." A proud grin on my face. "So, what's the question of the
day, freckles?"

"Aren't you going to have your tea first?"

"Ooh, someone's been paying close attention to me." I smirk. "Careful red, the missus doesn't
take kindly to other girls flirting with me. Also, I don't like you that way, I don't even like you
in general."

"I can assure you I was not flirting with you and the distaste is mutual. Also red? Really?"

"Your hair is-"

She holds her hand up and waves it to cut me off. "Okay, yeah, I get it."

Today's questions made no fucking sense, not that any of the other ones ever did but what
scent do guys prefer? Really? Who gives a damn. Also I don't see how asking what body part
guys first notice in a girl is relevant to figuring out what Granger sees in me.

Freckles may be more tolerable than the rest of her unfortunate family but she's still fucking
weird and any bit of intellect I awarded to her has been promptly revoked.

December 16 1996

"Arse." I say, sitting down.

Her head snaps up and her eyebrows knit together. "Huh?"

"That's the first body part that I, as a guy, notice on a girl." I explain. "Except for Granger, her
eyes were first and then her hair. She does have a magnificent arse though but I'm guessing
Potter probably notices something juvenile like a smile first, his virgin eyes are too scared to
venture elsewhere."

She takes a sharp inhale and straightens her posture as she tries to tell me that she hasn't a
clue what I'm on about.

"Don't act daft freckles, you've got a hard on for scarhead. It's embarrassing but it's your
truth, own it, being ashamed just makes it worse."

I'm expecting an insult back or at least some string of expletives but instead I get "I just wish
he would see me as anything other than Ron's younger sister."

No. no. no. This was not me inviting her to discuss her unrequited love for Potter. It's bad
enough she's already interrupting my mornings. Over my dead body will I allow her to do
so and make me listen to this bull shit.

"I think you misunderstood, I don't care." I tell her.

"Too bad, you stole my best friend from me so I have no one else to talk to about it."

"Give me five minutes, I'll drag her from my dorm and deliver her to you."

"Nope. Today you get to sit there and listen to my problems."

"Can't you just kill me instead?" I groan. "It would be far less painful."

"Tempting." She says. "But no."

That's it, Granger is no longer allowed to spend breakfast in my dorm.

December 17 1996

"I really need to work on my occlumency Draco." Granger whines as I escort her to the great
hall.

"Love, if I have to listen to one more second of freckles crying about Potter I will kill the
both of them. She's your friend after all, you get babysitting duties today."

"She's your friend too." She grins.

I chuckle "I disagree. I tolerate her, that's it. Now go, I will see you later."

"Wait." Granger turns to me. "You're not joining us?"

"No. I have some things to take care of but I'll be back this afternoon." There's that worried
look again. I want to tell her that this assignment is nothing. That it doesn't entail killing or
even torturing anyone, if all goes well, but I don't. It would be a waste of breath because she
wouldn't believe me anyways. I grab her cheek and kiss her forehead. "Go on, your friend
misses you. Also, grab your food quickly because freckles eats like a fucking animal."

She let's out a small giggle before lifting up on her tippy toes and kissing my cheek. I watch
as she enters the great hall and finds a seat next to her friend, they both hug and immediately
begin talking. I take a moment to watch as Granger's head falls back as she laughs, gods she's
beautiful. I steal one last glance before heading off.

-*-

I did end up having to use some.. less than kind tactics today but in my defense I did try to be
patient. I allowed the sod to complain for a whole five minutes before I drove my knife into
his thigh, a new record for me. Granger should be fine though, I made sure to not get any
blood on myself this time. As I step into my dorm a quarter past 7 I fully expected to see her
but I did not expect her to have company.

"What, and I can not stress this enough, the fuck is going on in here?"

"Draco." Granger jumps up to her feet and crosses the room, taking my hands in hers as soon
as she's close enough. "I thought we could all hang out tonight. I figured you wouldn't mind
since you two have already been spending time together."

"Tolerating her company over a cup of tea in the morning is vastly different than sitting in my
dorm with her." I argue. "Why the fuck would you even want to come here?" I direct at
freckles.
"I didn't." She says. "But I miss Hermione and wouldn't pass up a chance to spend more time
with her, even if it does mean I have to be around you."

"I see you still have a giant stick up your arse freckles, perhaps you could enlist Potter's help
to remedy that."

"Fuck off Malfoy."

"This is my room, so if anyone should fuck off it's you." I reply. "Plus, I would really enjoy
fucking your friend so unless you wish to watch I suggest you get going." I tell her, opening
the door behind me and gesturing for her to leave.

Granger takes my face in her hands and turns it to look at her. "I really want to spend time
with both of you, please let her stay Draco. For me?" She requests, batting her eyes up at me
as she smiles innocently.

I let out an irritated groan. "Fine. One hour, that's all. I wasn't joking when I said I wanted to
fuck you." I smirk which causes her cheeks to flush. "Deal." She giggles as she kisses me.

"You two are disgusting." Freckles says.

Ignoring her I head over to my closet and slip off my jacket, revealing the single holster
strapped around my chest. "Are those knives?" Weaslette asks. "Very observant dipshit,
would you like to find out how I use them?" "I'll pass but thanks for the offer. I just figured
death eaters would use magic not muggle weapons."

I quickly turn on my heels, my eyes narrowed as I stare down Granger. "You've got to be
fucking kidding me." She quickly runs over to me to try and calm me down, explaining that
she didn't mean to but some things slipped out.

"Relax Malfoy, I already had my suspicions."

"Weaslette, it would be wise of you to shut the fuck up for once in your life." I threaten,
turning my attention back to Granger. "Love, a word?" Before she has the chance to respond I
take her hand and drag her into my bathroom, silencing the room once I close the door.

Deep breaths. Remain calm. Relax. Control the anger. Don't explode.

"I'm sorry Draco, I really didn't mean to."

My fist goes through the wall. She jumps. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before
speaking. "That was by far the dumbest thing you've ever done Granger."

"I know and I'm sorry, I really am but-"

"What makes you think you can trust her?" I say. "How do you know she won't go running
off to tell Potter? Do you realize the position you've just put me in?"

"She won't, I know she won't. I can trust her, she won't say a thing."
"And what makes you believe that?"

"Because she cares about me, she wouldn't do that to me." She says.

"This isn't about you though!" My voice raising. "You would not be the one she'd be
condemning."

"Ginny wouldn't do that to you either."

I let out a mocking laugh. "I think you've overestimated her tolerance for me. Do you know
what her and I talk about in the morning?" I ask. No response. "She questions me, tries to
figure out what her loving friend could possibly see in a bastard like me because she, like
everyone else, feels nothing but hate and disgust for me and that was before you opened your
big mouth and told her that I'm a death eater."

She's silent.

"You better pray to merlin that she doesn't say anything. Because if she does and Potter or her
twat of a brother try anything I will not hesitate to put a dagger through their head's."

"You wouldn't do that." Her voice frail.

"Oh but I would. I will not allow my demise to be at the hands of any of your friends."

She places her hand on my cheek. "I'm sorry Draco, really."

My breathing steadies and heart rate lowers. I know she would never do anything to hurt me
on purpose but gods she's so daft sometimes, so unaware of her actions. She's so quick to do
but never takes the time to think through the repercussions.

"I love you." She says.

My fists release and my body relaxes. "You do?"

"Yes. I do. I love you, Draco."

Fuck me. How am I supposed to stay mad at her now? I snake my arm around her waist and
pull her into me, attacking her face with my mouth, kissing her cheeks, nose, forehead, chin,
everywhere. "Say it again." I command.

"I love you, I love you, I love you." She says through laughter. "I love you Draco Malfoy."

"I guess I forgive you." I tell her.

"Is that so?" She smiles.

"Mhm, but I would still kill your friends. You loving me doesn't grant them immunity."

Granger rolls her eyes. "At least try not to."

"I'll think about." I say, reaching for the door knob. "Should we rejoin your friend now? I
don't trust her alone in my room."

December 18 1996

"Does she know?" Freckles asks me. It's the first time she's spoken all morning, I was just
getting excited that she might spare me the questions this one time.

"Does she know what?"

"That you occlude."

I lift a curious brow.

"Hermione was constantly having me read over the research paper you both worked on.
Blank face, empty eyes, all signs of occlumency and all things you are constantly in
possession of." She explains.

"Yes."

"But is she aware that you even use it when around her?"

"No."

"I figured."

It's not that I'd lie if Granger asked me but I also won't just come right out and tell her. I
already know what her reaction would be, she would be hurt and disappointed. She would
take it far too personally and would assume she did something wrong, that I don't feel
comfortable enough around her or trust her.

I do trust her, even if she does make dumb decisions sometimes, but I can't just drop my
occlumency fully when with her and then turn it back on when needed. There's too much I'm
locking away, it would be far more draining if I did that and I also don't wish to find out what
toll months of occluding has taken on me mentally.

I've never used it for this extensive of a period but I can't imagine I'll be completely fine if I
ever do drop it. In fact, I believe I will be the complete opposite and right now I can't afford
to spiral. I need to remain sharp, this is only the beginning.
 Chapter 42

December 22 1996

"Do you have to go?" Granger asks, her arms snaked tightly around my torso. She's been
clinging onto me all morning, even when I went to the bathroom. "You already know the
answer to that." I tell her. "It's just a few days, I'll be back before Christmas."

I peel her arms off of me, her fingers struggling to remain gripped onto my jacket. "You have
to let go now, love. I need to go." Finally, she releases her hold, I take her face between my
hands and place a kiss on her forehead. "Feel free to stay in my room whenever you'd like,
you have a key. No visitors though please." She nods her head and forces a smile, tears
beginning to fill her eyes. "And no crying." I say.

Granger chokes back her tears and I give her one last kiss before heading down to the
common room to join the others. This assignment is odd to say the least. Pansy, Theo and
Blaise are all to join me, the reasoning I was given was to help cross train them. Pansy and
Blaise's current duties do not include any sort of fighting but when the war begins they will
be expected to stand in line with the rest of us.

"Everyone ready?" I ask, joining them near the fireplace. They're nervous, it's written all of
their faces but they nod. Each of them grab onto a part of my body and I retrieve the portkey
from my pocket. The walls around us twist and in seconds we have gone from standing in the
common room to now standing in a hotel room in Doncaster.

"Theo and Pansy will share a bed and Blaise will occupy the other." I inform them, placing
my bag down.

"Where will you be sleeping?" Blaise asks.

"If I manage to find the time to do so, right here." I say, patting the couch. "Now, unpack and
get changed. We leave in ten."

The streets are full of muggles who cheerfully skip along, drunk on the holiday spirit.
Usually I'd be nauseated by this fact but I guess they should be allowed to enjoy what time
they have left happy. I'm getting closer to fully mending the cabinet, I managed to transport a
bird. It didn't survive the return but regardless, it's a major step, which means the war is
approaching and muggles will not be excluded from it.

Voldemort's plan doesn't just involve conquering the wizarding world, the overachieving
psychopath wants the entire world. He wants every muggle to know that we exist and that we
should be feared. He's already had us visit some of their government leaders, to offer them
the chance to either be an ally or an enemy, most go with the first choice. Today we will be
visiting Damien Brown, the mayor of Doncaster and someone who refused our first offer.

The assignment is to last for two days, the first will be spent showing the mayor that he made
the wrong choice, the second will involve using his family as a tool to change his answer.
Pansy is meant to observe and take notes, Blaise is to try and convince him with words while
Theo and I are meant to do the same but in the form of torture.

"You two will remain in the corner and not a single word will come from either of you,
understood?" I direct at Pansy and Blaise.

"Understood." They both reply.

"And you." I say, turning to Theo. "You will take the lead."

His adam's apple bobs but he nods his head. "Yes sir."

We approach the door and I knock three times. A minute or two passes before the door
slowly opens, the mayor's eyes bulging the second he sees my face. "Mayor Brown." I smile.
"Lovely to see you again." He attempts to close the door but I slam my hand against it and
force it open. He stumbles back and trips over his feet, falling down onto the ground.

Slowly, I approach him and lean down. "That's no way to treat a guest, where are your
manners?" Grabbing him by the lapel of his coat, I lift his body and drag him to the living
room, throwing him down onto a chair. He tries to get back up but I shove him back down
and swiftly remove the knife from my thigh holster, stabbing it through his foot.

He's screaming like the pathetic man he is, his nails digging into the armrests of the chair.
"Now that I have your attention, I have a message for you. The dark lord would like to extend
his offer to stand by him."

"I would rather-" He stops midsentence when my fist meets his jaw.

"Did I say that you could speak?" I snarl. "I do not care to hear your answer, that's a
conversation for tomorrow. Today I am here to show you what happens when you
go against him."

He remains silent this time, wise.

I step back and face Theo. "Begin, soldier."

He looks over my shoulder at Pansy before retrieving one of his knives. He approaches the
mayor and hesitates for a moment. "If you don't drive that blade into his body right now I will
drive mine into yours." I threaten. This gets him to move, he swings his knife across the
man's chest and then stabs it into his bicep.

I lean my back against the wall, Blaise and Pansy on either side of me. They observe as Theo
continues slicing and stabbing into the man. Pansy turns and lowers her head, unable to
continue watching. "What do you think you're doing?" I whisper.

Her eyes flick up to mine. "I can't."

"You can." I correct. "And you will. You were not sent here to act a coward in the corner, you
were given orders, obey them."
"But Draco.."

"I am not your friend right now." My voice stern. "Just like Theo is not your boyfriend. You
are not watching as a girlfriend, you are observing and taking notes as a member of the
operations sector. So get rid of those tears, swallow every insult I'm sure you're conjuring in
your head and pay attention."

She does as commanded, rolling back her shoulders and folding her hands in front of her, she
returns her attention back to the mayor and Theo. Blaise managed to, for once, keep his
mouth shut. After about ten minutes or so I join Theo's side and take in the current state of
the man.

There's a bruise already forming along his jaw line from when I hit him, his shirt is in pieces
from the countless times Theo took his knife to his torso and blood is staining the carpet
below him. I bend down and remove my knife from his foot, the man is too exhausted from
the repeated pain to even wince.

"Mayor Brown." I address. "Take the night to rethink your stance on our original offer. We
will return tomorrow evening to see if you've had a change of heart." Leaving the room,
ordering the rest of them to follow suit, we exit the house and head back to the hotel.

Everyone was silent for the first few hours, it was only broken when food was delivered to
our room. Blaise has a blank look in his eyes as he takes a bite of his chicken and Pansy is
struggling to eat at all, her eyes trained on Theo as he casually sits back and eats.

"Is there something you'd like to say, Pans?" I ask.

Her eyes turn to me, anger consuming them. "How could you do that?!" She snaps. "How
could you make Theo do that to him?"

"Pansy.." Theo attempts to calm her down but she shoves his hands off of her as she shoots
up to her feet and walks over to me.

"Who even are you anymore? Because the Draco I know would never make his best friend do
something like that!"

"I did nothing but make him follow orders." I reply casually. "That was also not me making
my best friend do anything, that was a Lieutenant making sure his soldier fell in line."

"Right, how could I forget." She scoffs. "You aren't his friend or mine or Blaise's or anyone's
when doing stuff like that."

"You're finally catching on, congratulations."

"What about right now? Are you our friend here in this hotel room?"

I look down at my watch and then back up at her. "For the next 20 minutes, yes, so if there's
something you wish to get off your chest I suggest you do so quickly. I won't be as forgiving
later on."
"Oh happily." She laughs. "Ever since the summer you have been nothing but a grade a dick!
You care so little about anyone and have no remorse for those that you hurt, it's almost like
you enjoy it!"

"Babe." Theo tries to cut in but she brushes him off.

"Actually, you know what? No. Ever since you got into that stupid mudblood's knickers
you've been this way!"

I quickly stand from my chair and lower my eyes, stepping into her until she backs up into
the wall. "You better watch your fucking mouth Pans."

"Or what?" She challenges. "You know it's true, we all do, they're just too afraid to say
anything because for some reason they're scared of you."

"Which is a very wise choice."

"Well I'm not!" She spits. "You may be Lieutenant General but don't forget that you're still
just a 17 year old boy. A boy who hides behind his occlumency, who will never make his
daddy proud and will always be a disappointment and failure! But you don't need me to
remind you of that, you can just go look in the mirror and see the scars that line your chest
and back!"

My right hand pulls out the knife from under my left arm and I pierce it into the wall just
beside her head, the room falls completely silent. "I'm warning you Pans." My jaw tightening.
"I don't give a fuck if you're dating Theo, that we've been friends for over a decade or that my
cock has been down your throat. Do not speak to me about my father."

The overly confident look she previously wore is now replaced by a frightened one.

"I am not your father so I will never lay my hands on you but trust me when I say that I don't
need to in order to make your life a living hell." My voice low and threatening. I take a step
back and return to my seat. "Now sit down and eat your fucking food, I don't want to hear
you complain that you're hungry later."

She's frozen in place, anger slowly returning to her eyes and hands forming a fist at her side
but she does as told. Returning to her seat beside Theo, she picks up her fork and stabs into
her chicken.

"Did any of you notice that ridiculous family portrait hung above his fireplace?" Blaise asks,
his voice cutting through the thick tension. We all offer him a confused look. "Really, none of
you?" He scoffs. "It was the first thing I noticed. I feel bad for his daughter, I'd cut my own
head off before being photographed in such a ghastly jumper."

My mind begins to spiral. Daughter? There was no information on a daughter in his file that
was provided to me. The only family listed was his wife, Gemma. How could a whole ass
child slip through the cracks?

December 23 1996
It's almost 4 am, everyone has been asleep for hours now but not me. I'm pacing the room as I
try to figure out what I'm going to do. It took me about a half hour to remember the portrait
Blaise had mentioned but I did, he was right. Mayor Brown has a daughter, Sarah. She's 16
years old, attends Hall Cross Academy and as for the absence of her existence in her father's
file, she's hidden from the public eye.

She is not in possession of her father's surname but instead holds her mother's maiden,
Robinson.

I could pretend I was never the wiser, leave her be. But Blaise, Theo and Pansy know and
their occlumency is terrible, they would never be able to hide their knowledge of the girl.
Fucks sake, why did he have to say anything?

I didn't sleep at all. It's 10 in the morning and I have found myself sat on a bench in Elmfield
park, staring at the girl. She greatly resembles her mother, they share the same eyes and hair,
long and brown.

She's with her friends, unaware that later this evening her parents will be punished for her
father's foolish mistake. I did more research, Mayor Brown was aware we'd show up one day.
He's sent her to stay with her grandparents for a bit which was a good call.

She's 16. Fucking 16. I already have my oppositions when a grown woman's file is handed to
me but gods, a child? A child that has nothing to do with her father's choices, a girl who is
currently running around with her friends.

I can't do it but I also can't leave without doing something. If news that we had knowledge of
another immediate family member and left her be reached the dark lord, we would all pay a
hefty price.

I rise to my feet, buttoning my suit jacket and heading towards her. Her friends take notice of
me first, their eyes turn to hearts as they point in my direction and giggle. I'm not a moron, I
know that I'm attractive and despite my better judgement, I'm using it to my advantage today.

Sarah turns around and looks me up and down, a small smile creeping onto her face. "Hello."
I say. "Hi." "I'm Draco." "Sarah." She replies, shaking my hand.

"I'm Lily."

"And I'm Phoebe." Her friends introduce themselves.

"Pleasure." I nod at them before turning my attention back to her. "Sarah, I was wondering if
you'd like to go on a walk with me?"

"Y-yes! Of course!" She answers all too quickly. Muggles. Such idiotic creatures. Did her
parents never teach her to not walk off with a stranger? Whatever. It's made this a lot easier
for me.

We're walking along the sidewalk that twists and turns throughout the park. Once we're out of
her friend's line of sight I begin speaking again. "How's your family?"
"My family?" She asks. "They're uh good, I haven't seen my parents in a few days."

"That must be hard, with the holidays approaching and all." I fake sympathize.

"Yeah." She sighs. "My father is away often so I'm used to that but I've never been away from
my mother this long."

I gently grab her elbow and direct her towards a line of buildings. "Are you very involved
with your father's work?"

"Not really, he tries to keep that part of his life separate from the one we have at home, says
he doesn't want the stress or worry of it to affect my mother and I."

And this, I completely understand. It's exactly how I feel when it comes to Granger. She's too
kind, too pure to be weighed down by the darkness that overshadows my life. I take a left
down an alley and she blindly follows me. "It must be tough to have your father be the
mayor. A lot of pressure to act a certain way I presume."

"It can be but I'm lucky where I don't have to be a part of a lot of it." She tells me. "Wait -
how did you know that my father..."

I grab her shoulders and pin her back against the brick wall, covering her mouth to silence
her scream. "Shut up. Don't speak, don't make a sound." I command. "I'm going to remove
my hand but you have to promise to not say a word, okay?"

She nods her head slowly.

"Okay." I drop my hand from her mouth and she's silent, thank merlin. "Your father has made
my boss very angry Sarah." I tell her. "I've been sent to properly handle both him and his
family. Thanks to your father's choice of hiding you from the public eye, you were not
accounted for but the family portrait on his wall brought light to his little secret. I can't leave
you without a single scratch, it would only result in my death and yours."

Her chest is rising and falling so rapidly. Her eyes are terrified, terrified of me and she should
be but it makes me nauseas.

I remove the knife from my pocket, her eyes widen and she tries to wiggle from my grip.
"Stop." I say, tightening my hold on her. "I'm going to do this but you won't feel a thing, not a
shred of pain."

"Why should I trust you?" She asks, her voice small and timid.

"You shouldn't. You should never trust people like me but right now, it's your only option.
Now give me your arm."

Sarah hesitates for a moment before holding her right arm out. I push her sleeve up and press
my thumb into her skin and mumble a numbing charm. I pinch her skin between my fingers
and she winces.

"You can't honestly tell me that hurt." I say, lifting a brow.

"It didn't." She replies. "Just an automatic response I guess.

"Okay, good. I'm going to do it now, you may want to look away."

She turns her head and shuts her eyes tightly. I place the tip of my knife into her skin and run
it along her arm. It takes me only a minute or so to finish.

"It's done."

Her eyes open and she looks down at the words carved into her. "No one is safe?" She
questions, reading it aloud.

"It's a message, for your father. I only broke the surface, it should heal in two weeks time and
won't scar." I roll her sleeve back down, covering the mark.

Her fingers wrap around my left wrist and pokes at the very end of my dark mark that's
peeking out from under my sleeve. "What's that?"

"My death sentence." I reply flatly. "You should get back to your friends now, I'm sure they're
worried."

She shakes her head. "I doubt that. They're probably hoping you'll come back, they think
you're fit."

I let out a small chuckle.

"I do too." Sarah admits, a blush staining her cheeks.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"I know it seems 'cool' and 'fun' to be attracted to the bad boy but it's not. If you value your
life I highly suggest staying far away from people like me Sarah. Now go."

"Wait- are you going to hurt my mum and dad?"

The question makes my eye twitch slightly.

"Yes." I sigh. "And unlike you, they will feel everything."

Hogwarts

"Merlin's right testicle Theo!" I groan. "Just because I'm occluding doesn't mean I can't feel
your finger digging around inside my shoulder."

"Sorry mate I'm just trying to get the damn thing out!" He shouts as Pansy opens the door to
my dorm and Blaise and Theo carry me inside.
"What happened?!" Granger's voice is frantic as they set me down in a chair.

"What the hell is she doing in here?" Pansy scoffs.

"Babe, now really isn't the time." Theo scolds. "Go get a towel from the bathroom."

Blaise is ripping off my shirt and Granger rushes towards me, crouching down in front of me
and placing her hands on my knees. "What happened Draco?" She asks.

"A fucking muggle shot him." Blaise says.

"What?!" Granger's eyes fill with concern as her hand flies up to her mouth. "Why? Where?"

"Love, I appreciate the concern but I'll be fine." I tell her.

"Not if we don't get this damn thing out." Theo adds, shoving his finger into the open wound
on my shoulder. "It's really lodged in there."

"Have you tried using your wand?" Granger asks, standing up and walking behind me, a
horrified gasp escaping her mouth.

"Yes, it didn't work. We have to manually get it out." Theo says.

"Just cut the damn thing out!" I growl.

"Mate, I think there's safer ways to go about this." Blaise suggests but I shake my head.

"If there was I believe dickhead wouldn't still be fingering my shoulder, would he?" I turn my
head to look at up Theo. "Cut it out. That's an order."

He nods, takes out his knife and begins cutting away at my body. Granger returns to her spot
on the ground in front of me, tightly clutching my hands.

"It's going to be alright, everything will be okay." She says.

"It doesn't hurt Granger." I chuckle. "I can feel what he's doing and it's uncomfortable but
that's it."

"I know, I'm not saying it for you I'm saying it for me."

Pansy returns with a towel and positions herself next to Theo, wiping the blood off my back
as it pours out. Five minutes have passed and Theo finally removes the bullet, dropping it
into my hand.

"Muggles certainly know their weapons, don't they?" I say as I examine it for a moment
before tossing it into the trash.

Theo tries to push me back down when I stand but I smack his hand away and head into the
bathroom. I turn and twist so that I can get a view of the damage, it's not that bad, I've had
worse.
Opening a drawer under the sink, I pull out my vile of dittany and pour a few drops over the
gash. Theo's precision is dreadful, he easily could've been successful without cutting this
much of me open, I'll have to remember to show him the proper way to do it.

Exiting the bathroom, everyone stands up when they see me. "You can all relax, I'm still
breathing aren't I?"

Granger crosses the room and wraps her arms around me, I let out a small grunt from the
force but relax into it and hug her back. "It's okay love, I'm fine." I reassure her.

"Are we all just going to ignore the fact that these two are clearly fucking again?" Pansy
questions.

"Yeah, wait a damn minute." Blaise adds. "Are you two back together or some shit?"

"Does this answer your question?" I grab Granger's face and caress her lips with mine.

"That it does. Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because you can't keep your mouth shut." I tell him.

"That's hurtful!" He says.

"But the truth." I shrug.

"I thought you didn't want to see her anymore?" Theo questions. "Didn't you want her to
finally leave you be and let you go?"

I shake my head. "I never said that, you did. Which by the way." I reach over and smack him
in the balls. "That's for speaking on behalf of me you fuckwit."

"Hey man." He groans, clutching his crotch. "I just thought I was helping."

"Well don't ever again." I tell him. "As much as I appreciate you all for what you have done
for me please get the fuck out of my room. Getting shot reminded me that it's been far too
long since I've been between Granger's legs."

Pansy is the first to leave, scowling at me and rolling her eyes as she does so. Blaise pats my
back, right on top of my fresh wound, twat.

Theo pulls me into a hug and there's a moment where we just stare at each other. There wasn't
a single word spoken but I can tell what he's thinking. He and I may fight a lot and we may
not have been on the best terms as of late but at the end of the day we're still brothers and
neither of us would be okay if we lost the other.

"I know." I tell him. "Me too."

He hugs me once more and offers Granger a small smile before leaving and closing the door
behind him.
"Now." I say, turning back to her and lifting her up. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

I sit down on the edge of the bed, her legs straddling me. "Allow me to show you just how
much I missed you." I begin attacking her neck with my mouth, biting her skin every other
kiss.

"I want to talk Draco." She says. I let out a groan and drop my head, resting it directly on her
breasts. "Talking is so overrated though." I mumble. She lifts my face with her hands and
runs her fingers through my hair. "Can you tell me what happened? Why did you get
shot? Who shot you?"

She is not going to drop this, even though I know she can feel how hard I am between her
legs. I move us up to the top of the bed and she repositions herself so that her head is resting
on my chest. "We were in Doncaster visiting someone who turned down the chance to be an
ally to Voldemort." I begin. "We went to visit him again today and as I was... dealing... with
his wife he shot me."

"For hurting his wife?" She asks.

"That and his daughter."

Her head shoots up. "I am not a good man love and I will never pretend to be but it is worth it
to note that I barely touched her and she didn't feel a thing."

"But you still had to do something to her, didn't you?"

"Yes." I nod. "There was no information on her in his file but Blaise pointed out a photo in
his home. I knew that once we were all aware of her existence I wouldn't be able to get away
with not doing anything. I located her and did what I had to do. She's fine, physically, I'm not
sure how she's holding up mentally but that's not my problem."

"Why did you let her off so easy? I'm not saying you shouldn't have but there must have
been some reason."

No. I know what she's hinting at. She's doing that thing where she searches for the good in
me, no matter how awful I am.

"Granger, don't." I say, sitting up.

"Don't what? Draco, I know you. You don't do anything recklessly, every move you make is
calculated and has a reasoning. You c-"

"I did not care about the girl! I do not care about anyone but you. I feel no remorse for her or
what I had done to her parents or any of the others I've killed."

Her jaw drops.

"Yes, that's right. I've killed people but don't act so surprised. You aren't stupid, you had to
have known that if I hadn't already I would eventually."

"How are you saying all of this so casually?" She asks, appalled.

"What would you prefer for me to do? Be broken up over it? Crawl into a ball and cry? That
would be a weak move and I can not afford to be weak."

"This isn't you Draco." Her hand reaching for mine. "You aren't sounding like yourself."

"I'd argue that this is the most I've sounded like myself." I scoff. "I tried to tell you that I am
not the same person I was last year but you refused to listen. Instead, you chose to continue
on with this fantasy of yours where I'm just a misunderstood damaged child from a broken
home. I am not a hero, I will never be Potter. I do what I have to in order to stay alive. I take
what I want, hurt who I need to and I never apologize."

She's looking at me like I'm some sort of stranger. I can see it in her eyes that I'm breaking
her heart right now and even though I hate myself for it I'm relieved. Relieved to have finally
broken her stupid image of me, her false hope that I will become good.

I do not view my life choices as being either good or bad. I see it as live or die. It's that
fucking simple. Refuse to join the death eaters, to follow orders, die. Do as told, live. Allow
guilt of my actions consume me, die. Turn it all off and focus on self preservation, live.

"I've had a long day Granger and I haven't slept in days but I would like to now. You can stay
or you can go, either way, it doesn't matter to me."

Stay.

She crawls off my bed and heads over to the door, offering me one last glance before walking
out, the door clicking shut behind her.
 Chapter 43

December 24 1996

There's a sudden pressure on my left wrist, my eyes dart open and I see my father hovering
over me, his hand pinning me down. "Father-" I'm cut off by the back of his hand meeting my
cheek. "Shut up boy." He growls, removing a dagger from his pocket. "Never allow yourself
to be vulnerable." Is all he says to me before running the tip of the blade across my skin,
cutting open my left forearm.

I want to scream, I want to tell him that it hurts, but I know better. Showing pain, struggling,
it only makes the lesson go on for longer. I'm biting down on the inside of my cheek, my teeth
piercing the skin, the metal taste of blood trickling down my throat.

It's almost over, it's almost over, it's almost over.

This hurts more than usual, it feels like my blood is on fire.

I don't know how much longer I can last.

I'm about to cave, a whimper just on the verge of escaping my lips when he stops. My right
hand flies over to the fresh wound, my blood dripping onto the wood floor. My father's eyes
are dark, his breathing heavy. He's looking at me with so much disgust, like I'm the worst
thing that has ever happened to him.

"Vulnerability leads to death, son. You must remain sharp at all times and never trust anyone,
no matter how well you think you know them."

I'm yanked awake, a pair of hands on my shoulders shaking me. I shoot up and reach for
whoever's neck is in front of me. The second my fingers grip onto them my vision focuses
and I see Theo.

"Easy mate, it's just me." He tells me.

I release my hold on him and drop my face into my hands. I'm drenched in sweat and I'm still
struggling to catch my breath. "Sorry." I mumble.

"It's alright." Theo reassures me. "It was that dream again, wasn't it?" Lifting my head,
embarrassed to even look him in the eyes, I nod. "I thought those stopped?"

They did. I haven't had one of those in a few years. Ever since I began suppressing certain
memories and feelings the nightmares went away but now here I am, Theo's face full of
concern and sympathy just like it was in the past when he would wake me up and tell me that
I was screaming again.

"Why is it happening again?" He asks.

"Not sure." I shrug. "Perhaps my occlumency isn't as strong right now. After getting shot I
can feel that my body is weaker."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

Thankfully Theo knows better than to push me when it comes to this topic. He gently pats my
back before standing up and leaving. I lay back down once the door closes behind him but I
don't fall back asleep, I can't. Instead, I just lay there and stare at the ceiling.

I wish Granger was here.

I've always hated the idea of sharing a bed with someone. Sharing and having someone
invade my personal space are both things I'm not a fan of and then you also factor in the
chance of me having those nightmares, allowing someone to see that pathetic side of me.

The nightmares first started when I was 12, the day after my father did in fact cut my arm
open in the middle of the night with a dagger that was dipped in poison. I remember having
to suck the poison out because magic didn't work on it. For years I would wake up in the
middle of the night just like I did today, drenched in my own sweat and apparently
screaming.

I don't know why that particular instance was what caused it all to begin, it wasn't the first
time my father had done something like that to me. He began giving me "lessons" once I
turned 6, said it was time for me to grow thicker skin and prepare myself to become the
perfect Malfoy heir.

The rules were simple. Don't fight back or make a single noise. One time I cried, it was the
biggest mistake I ever made in my life. Malfoy men are not allowed to show any weakness,
any emotion other than hate, disgust or arrogance.

I should have walked away that day with no more than a small cut on the back of my hand
but instead I left with a broken arm. I remember lying and telling my mother that I had fallen
while playing outside, too afraid of what would happen if I told her the truth. She knew and
she didn't do anything.

I never thought the day would come where I would want to sleep beside someone but here I
am wanting that more than anything but not just anyone, I want her, I want my Granger. Our
fight was stupid, I don't think anything I said was in the wrong but allowing her to leave so
easily was.

She angers me like no other and says so many stupid fucking things but I can't shake her. I'm,
as Blaise would say, fucked. Utterly fucked. Granger's tiny fingers have the tightest hold on
my heart and no matter what I may say I never want that to change. I hate feeling this way
though. I hate that she's all I can think about and sometimes I wish I could hate her but it's
impossible, every cell in my body craves her.

I think I'm going insane, perhaps I should visit Madam Pomfrey soon.
 -*-

For once I'm actually surprised to see freckles sat at the Slytherin table. Actually, no, I take
that back. Of course she is, the witch has most likely been impatiently awaiting my arrival all
morning so that she can bitch me out for upsetting Granger.

Her words have absolutely no affect on me but considering I barely slept and the little I did
manage was complete shit, I'm really not looking forward to this. Taking my usual seat, I
cross my arms and stare at her.

"You look like shit." She says.

"You look the same." I reply. "Not that that's a good thing."

"Well I guess it's good to know that you're still in possession of your reprehensible
personality. I was worried you might break down and cry or something today."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because of your fight with Hermione." She tells me.

"Right." I sigh. "How is she?"

"Last I saw she was okay, she's not very happy with me at the moment."

If I was tired before I'm definitely not now. I understand why Granger would be upset with
me but I can't even begin to fathom what dear old freckles had to have done in order to end
up on her bad side. I'm very intrigued to say the least.

"Don't look so happy about it Malfoy, this is your fault anyways."

"Mine? How could I possibly be at fault here?"

Freckles takes an angry bite out of an apple before answering. "Hermione came back to our
dorm last night all angry and slamming doors. When I managed to calm her down and get her
to tell me what had happened I reacted the exact opposite of how she wanted me to." Another
angry bite, the poor apple. "I'm not saying I sided with you but I definitely didn't disagree
with what you had said."

My jaw is practically on the floor. Am I asleep right now? I must be hallucinating. Did
freckles really just say that she kind of agreed with me instead of her beloved best friend?
Merlin, what a strange fucking day to be alive.

"Aw freckles," A fake smile on my face as I place my hand over my heart. "I always knew
you had the hots for me."

"Piss off." She wastes no time in throwing her half eaten apple at me. "I just couldn't
understand why she was so upset about you being exactly who you are."

"Which is?"
"A sociopath."

"I'm not a sociopath." I reply, slightly offended. "I've been tested, I'm just a dick."

"Sociopath.. dickhead.. honestly I don't see the difference when it comes to you."

"Your words truly touch my heart freckles, I think I might actually cry."

"Please don't."

For once I find myself not entirely repulsed by her company. I honestly find it hard to believe
that she's related to gingerfuck, the only thing they have in common are their parents. If it
was Weaslebee Granger had gone to last night there's no doubt in my mind he would've
instantly sided with her and probably taken advantage of her vulnerable state. As much as I
don't entirely hate freckles, I am still heavily considering killing her brother, I'm sure she'd
understand.

"So what do we do now?" She asks.

I lift a brow. "We?"

"Yeah, it's your fault she's not talking to me."

"I'm sorry but I think I missed the part where I gave a fuck."

"Don't be an arse Malfoy." Freckles groans.

"It's the only thing I know how to be." I shrug. "Besides, I'm sure you two will be fine.
Granger loves you, you're like a sister to her. As for myself, I already have a few ideas on
how to make it up to her."

"Do you need any help?"

"No."

"Oh come on, let me help." She whines. "It could be a good bonding experience for us!"

"Why would I want to bond with you?"

"Just let me help!"

"No."

"Yes."

"Freckles, no."

I'm really losing my touch because despite my opposition I now find myself hanging out with
the irritating redhead. "Can you stop touching everything?" I say, snatching the book from
her hand. She sticks her tongue out at me before taking a seat on the edge of my bed.
"You have a lot of books."

What an astute observation.

"I like to read." I tell her.

"I didn't realize you actually read. I always thought you were just pretending to do so in the
mornings."

"Why would I pretend-didn't I just tell you to stop touching everything?!" I shout at her as
she's digging through my nightstand.

"I've never held a knife before." Her finger grazes the handle as she stares at it with
fascination. "It looks heavy."

I swear this child was taught zero manners, now I'm going to have to spend all night
disinfecting that and burning yet another pair of sheets since she decided to sit on them. "It's
not." I tell her. "That's the lightest one I have actually. Feel free to hold it since you've already
put your greasy fingers on it."

Her hand hovers over it, hesitating for a moment before eventually picking it up. Her eyes
grow wide and a giant smile appears on her face. She looks just as dumb as first years do
when they go wand shopping.

"You really use this on people?"

"No, I just keep it around as decoration." I mock. "Now if you're done I actually could use
your help."

Ignoring me completely, she stands and crosses the room over to me, knife still in hand.
"Show me how to use it."

"Excuse me?"

"Show me how to use it." She repeats.

"Why?"

"Because I want to know how to use one. What if I'm in the battlefield and my wand breaks
and all I'm left with is a knife? I need to know how to properly use it."

I let out a taunting laugh. "Freckles, you can't be serious."

She doesn't respond, just stares at me. Okay, I guess she is being serious. I run my hand down
the length of my face and along the back of my neck. Why am I even entertaining this? I have
more important things to be doing, like getting my fucking girlfriend back.

"Stab me." I say.

"What?"
"Stab. me."

Freckles sheepishly swings her arm back and then forward, I smack her wrist with my hand
causing the knife to drop onto the floor. I slide the tip of my shoe underneath the handle and
kick it up into my hand, swiftly lunging forward and holding the edge of the blade right in
front of her neck. Her body stiffens and hands fly up in surrender.

"What the fuck Malfoy!"

"Don't hesitate. Don't think. Just do." I instruct before lowering the knife and placing it back
in her hands. "Try again."

She's a little more confident this time but still slow. I smack the inside of her forearm to
divert the knife away from my body. She's mad now, I can see it in her eyes. Freckles picks
up the speed and force but I continue to deflect her every single time.

"Why are you aiming for my stomach? Go for my neck or at least my eye." I tell her. "That
blade is short, you wouldn't be able to drive it deep enough in my torso to kill me." She
listens to my criticism and swings at my face, the edge grazing the side of my head and
causing a small piece of my hair to fall off. Alright. Lesson over.

I grab her wrist and twist her arm so that it's behind her, tightening my hold until her fingers
release the knife. "Don't lazily throw your arms around, it makes you vulnerable." I release
her arm, pick up the knife and shove it into my pocket.

"Usually I charge for training like that but since your family is embarrassingly poor, that one
was on the house, you're welcome." I smile.

"How did you get so good at that?" She asks, rubbing her wrist.

"That's by the far the dumbest thing you've ever asked me freckles."

"I think it's a valid question. I mean I know that you had to have some sort of training being a
death eater and all but I find it hard to believe that you learned all of that from them."

"I was familiar with knives before I became a death eater." I tell her as I look through the
stack of books in front of me.

"In what way?"

"Merlin's tit! Must you know everything?"

"Yes. I opened up to you about my feelings towards Harry." She says, as if that should mean
something to me.

"That was not because I asked you to."

"Still." She shrugs. "I did. I just want to get to know you better."

"Why?!" I question, my tone harsh. "Why do you care so much about who I am?"
"Because, for some reason, I don't hate being around you. I think I'm starting to kind of see
what Hermione sees in you but unlike her, I want to know everything. Even the dark shit. So
stop being a prat and tell me."

I let out an irritated groan. Having one stubborn witch in my life was already too much but
somehow I've ended up with a second one and she's even worse. She couldn't care less if she
pisses me off. Freckles is annoying and she knows it, owns it even.

"I held my first knife when I was 7." I don't know why I decided to give in and share
anything but here we are.

"7?!"

"Yes, it was my father's and for my 13th birthday he gave me one of my own. So yes,
freckles, I had prior knowledge on how to use a knife before joining the death eaters. Now
can we return to me getting Granger back?"

Her face remains stunned for a minute or two as she processes this new piece of information
on my extremely exciting childhood but she shakes her head and manages to come back to
earth.

-*-

It took about an hour or so to sort through everything and get it set up but it's finally done.
Weaslette informed me that Granger usually stops by their room around this time so now it's
just a waiting game. I know that I can't buy Granger's love but I don't think spending money
on something I know she'll love would necessarily hurt.

A couple of minutes pass before the door handle slowly turns and her perfectly messy curls
poke through. "Draco?" Her voice full of shock. "What are you doing in here?" She asks,
stepping into her dorm and closing the door.

"Happy Christmas, love." I smile, stepping to the side to reveal the bookshelf behind me. Her
eyes light up as she scans it over.

"What-I-this is for me?"

I close the gap between us and take her hands in mine. "I'm sorry for how I acted last night. I
was exhausted and angry that I got shot by some muggle."

"You got shot?!" Freckles shouts from behind us. I glare at her over my shoulder before
turning my attention back to Granger.

"But even so, I shouldn't have snapped like that." I continue. "I'm sorry and I miss you, gods
do I miss you."

She places a gentle hand on my cheek and tears threaten to escape the corner of her eyes. "I'm
sorry too." She says. "I know you've been dealing with a lot and that you tried to tell me
earlier about everything but I chose not to know. I think I just got scared seeing you hurt, it
made everything seem so much more real."
I remove her hand from my cheek and kiss her palm. "So, we're okay?" I ask.

She nods. "Yes, of course we are." My hand snakes around her waist and my head lowers, our
lips caressing and my tongue massaging against hers.

"Ahem." Weaslette clears her throat. "Yeah, hi, I'm still here. Please try to remember that
before ripping each other's clothes off."

I turn my head to look at her. "Ah, freckles, I almost forgot." I reach into my pocket and
retrieve the knife, tossing it over to her.

"You're giving this to me?!"

"Happy Christmas dipshit."

"Thanks Malfoy." She smiles. "Oh! I got you something too!" My brow raises as I watch her
reach into her bag. When her hand reappears there's nothing in it but her middle finger is
raised. "Happy Christmas."

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood." I tell her, rolling my eyes. "So, love, would you like to
take a closer look at your present?" Granger is practically beaming with excitement as I walk
her over to the bookshelf. "There's a few new ones I thought you might enjoy but it primarily
consists of your favorites, all first editions."

Her jaw drops as she looks up at me. "First editions?"

"Mhm."

"But Draco, there has to be at least a hundred books here."

"Hundred and fifteen, actually." I tell her.

"That had to have cost you a fortune!"

"Love," I chuckle. "I think you sometimes forget that money is no issue for me. The amount
all of this cost was less than what I usually carry on me."

"Wait a damn minute!" Weaslette chimes in. "Can I exchange this knife for money instead?
1000 galleons should suffice." I snatch a pillow from Granger's bed and throw it across the
room at her, hitting her directly in the face. "It was worth a shot."
 Chapter 44

December 28 1996

Part of me regrets giving Weaslette that knife. Every day since she has taken it upon herself
to locate me and teach her more, it's really cutting into my alone time with Granger.

With it being the holidays, I've been busier than ever with assignments and overlooking other
operations since they know I don't have any school. I'd much prefer to spend the little free
time I have with my girl, not my girl's irritating friend.

"If you manage to break skin I'll give you 50 galleons." I offer, knowing damn well she'll
never be able to.

"And what if I manage to cut off a hand?" She asks.

"Ginny." Granger's tone a warning.

"Then I'll give you 1,000." I reply. I look over at Granger, who is barely able to watch, and
give her a quick wink. "Alright freckles, give it your best shot, last one for the day."

She places her left foot forward slightly, rolls back her shoulders and raises the knife. I
remain casual, hands in my pocket, a taunting yawn escaping my mouth.

"Any day now." I drawl.

She lunges forward, aiming for my shoulder. Stupid mistake. I grab her wrist and yank her
arm down, the knife dropping out of her hand and into my free one. Swiftly, I reposition
myself behind her and hold the knife near her neck.

"Dead." I whisper.

"I could've sworn I had you that time!"

"You're improving, barely, but still - improving." I tell her, spinning the knife between my
fingers.

"It's that knife!" She argues. "I need a bigger one."

"I am not giving you another one."

"But I-"

"No."

"Malfoy just-"
I raise a hand to silence her. "My charity work is done for the day, please leave and make sure
the door hits you on the way out." I push down on the blade, locking it back into its guard
before tossing it over to her.

"Such bull shit!" She shouts, throwing her hands up into the air as she stomps out of my
room.

"That kid has an awful attitude." I say to Granger as I join her on the bed.

"That kid admires you."

I quickly bring the back of my hand to her forehead, then to her cheek and then I check her
palms.

"Draco," she giggles. "What are you doing?"

"I'm checking your temperature. Do you feel warm? Nauseas? Do you have a headache?"

She playfully slaps my hand away. "I feel perfectly fine, what are you on about?"

"Well you must be ill if you think freckles admires me. There's nothing about me to be
admired, by anyone."

Granger rolls her eyes. "Yes there is. I'm not saying she admires the fact that you've.. you
know.. killed people but I do think she admires the fact that you're so well versed in combat.
Ginny's the youngest and only girl among her siblings, the girl likes to fight."

I wonder what it would have been like to grow up with siblings. I think I would've mostly
hated it but it could have been nice to have someone else around. Merlin knows neither of my
parents offered me much attention. I guess I did sort of grow up with a sibling though, Theo.

He and I have been friends since we were young and when his parents were killed he began
staying with us a lot more. Most summers he spent at least the beginning weeks with me at
the manor. Part of me feels bad for sort of abandoning him once we became death eaters but
at the time it was hard. Hard for me to separate our friendship and what needed to be done.

If I hadn't distanced myself my occlumency would've faltered. I wouldn't have been able to
treat him like a solider when needed and that would just end up getting us both killed.

I know I say that Granger is the only person I care about, and believe me when I say that if it
came down to saving her or anyone else I'd choose her, every damn time and without
hesitation, but that doesn't mean I'd be okay with Theo dead.

He understands how my brain works, which honestly makes things worse. He knows that no
matter what, at the end of the day I will always make the selfish decision, it's how I was
raised.

Put yourself first. Every. Time.

Putting Granger first is my way of doing that because without her, if something were to
happen to her.. I'd probably die. No, not probably, I would.

But back to Weaslette. No way does that girl admire me. If anything, she just enjoys having
another person she can try to beat up and spew her countless insults at. I don't mind the
banter, it's refreshing to have someone who doesn't cry the second you say something.

"No." Is all I say, snapping back to reality.

"No?"

"No, freckles does not admire me. I, however, am fully admiring you." I smirk, running my
finger down the side of her arm.

Goosebumps line her skin and she takes a quick and sharp inhale. "I quite admired watching
you with that knife." Her cheeks turning a soft shade of red.

"Oh really?"

"You're very good with your hands." She admits, embarrassed. "And it's kind of hot to see
how.. lethal you are."

"Miss Granger," my eyebrows raised out of both shock and curiosity. "Are you asking to see
more of my knife work?"

"Maybe." Her teeth pulling at her bottom lip. My jaw tightens and fingers grip at the sheets
underneath her.

I lean in, her eyes trained on my mouth as her breasts brush against my chest. Reaching past
her and opening my nightstand, I retrieve one of my daggers.

Holding it out in front of her, I study her reaction. Her neck is now the same shade as her
cheeks and her breathing has picked up. The usual brown and gold flakes that make up her
eyes are nowhere to be seen, her pupils invading the entirety.

"I would like it to be known," I whisper as I trail the tip of the blade lightly down her inner
thigh. "That I am, in fact, very good with my hands." I press the flat side of my knife against
her skin and push open her legs, her body jolting slightly.

Her eyes are filled with desire as she licks her lips. "Is this what you want Granger, to feel the
cold metal of my blade against your skin?"

"Y-yes." She nods.

I lower my body, positioning my head between her legs and placing a gentle trail of kisses up
her thigh. "What else do you want?" Her hips jump as I press the flat metal against her center.

"Careful sweetheart," My eyes shifting up to hers. "Don't want to accidentally cut into that
pretty skin of yours, do we?"
I press my left hand against her lower abdomen, forcing her hips back down into the mattress.

"Now, I'll ask once more. What else do you want?"

"I want..." Her voice a breathy whisper as I suck on the skin of her hip. "I want you to keep
using that knife and then I want you to fuck me, Draco."

I let out a satisfied moan against her skin. Sitting up, removing my knife from her body, I
look at her, a serious expression on my face.

"If we are going to do this then you must do as I say, I don't want to hurt you."

"Okay."

"And if at any point you want me to stop then just say the word, immediately."

"Yes, okay." She agrees.

"There's something else you want, isn't there?" I say, cocking my head. Her eyes drift down
to the tie hanging from my neck. "This?" I ask, reaching for the knot. She nods her head. I
unwrap it and she quickly holds her hands out. I shake my head.

"Sit up for me, love." Once she's up, I wrap my tie around her eyes and help her lay back
down. "Turn that big brain of yours off and focus on the pleasure."

I take my time unbuttoning her shirt, reveling every moment of her laid down, completely
submitting herself to me. It takes everything in me to not fuck her the instant I see that damn
green bra again. I've never loved the color green more than I do right now.

Next, I remove her skirt. It's not the same green knickers but these ones cause me to spiral
just the same, if not more. White, covered in lace and I can feel the hunger within me
growing by the second.

"You're trying to kill me." I groan. She lets out a small laugh but her breath catches the
second she feels my knife against her skin again.

Carefully, I run the tip down the length of her stomach. I've already anticipated her to move,
my hand tightly clutches her hip.

"Don't move." I instruct, her wiggling ceasing. I drag the metal back up to her breasts,
circling around and then pressing the flat side against her nipple. Her lips part as she lets out
a moan.

Removing it from her skin, I sit back and watch as her chest rapidly rises and falls as she tries
to figure out my next move. "I told you to turn your brain off, love." She goes to speak but
chokes back her words as I angle the knife and run it slowly up her arm, over her shoulder
and along her clavicle.

I rest the flat side down on her neck, the blunt edge towards her and the sharp edge protected
by my wrist. Lowering my head, I place a soft kiss on her lips. As I pull away she attempts to
sit up but I stop her. "Did I say you could move?" My voice low, dark - threatening.

With my knife laying against her neck, I reach down between her legs and press my palm
against her, the weight of my body on top keeping her still.

"Gods you're so wet for me."

The most delicious moans ring through my ears as I circle her clit over her knickers.

"Draco." She pants as I press a kiss into her neck.

"You will be the death of me, Hermione." I whisper against her ear as I move her knickers to
the side and push a finger inside her cunt without warning causing her to let out a pleasure
filled groan. "Gods, you're practically dripping already." I pull my finger out and slap her
inner thigh.

Another moan accompanied by my name.

"Draco, please."

"Mmm, I love it when you beg."

"Please." She begs again.

"Please, what?"

"Touch me again."

I remove my knife from her throat and place it on my nightstand. Sitting up between her legs,
I wrap my hands around her thighs and pull her down into me. Snaking my hand around her
back, I unclasp her bra and toss it to the side.

My mouth wastes no time in finding her nipples, my tongue lapping around it while my hand
massages the other.

"Merlin.." she moans.

I kiss my way up to her neck, sucking hard against her skin as I run my thumb over her
bottom lip. "Open." Her lips part slightly and I sit up, displeased. "Wider." I command.

Once I'm satisfied, I place my pointer and middle finger in her mouth. "I want you to make
my fingers as wet as you are between your legs right now, love."

Her lips wrap themselves around my fingers and her tongue begins circling them. "That's a
good girl." I praise, removing my fingers from her mouth and moving back down to her
center.

Without warning again, I thrust both fingers inside of her as I suck down on her clit, her hips
buckling up into me and legs closing.
I dig my fingers into her thigh and pry her legs back open as I continue pumping into her.

"Oh gods... Draco." She whimpers. I let out a deep groan against her clit which causes her
back to arch, my fingers curling inside simultaneously.

Her hand flies to my hair, pulling and scratching for me. I sit up, remove her hand and mine
from inside her and flip her over onto her stomach.

"We're going to try a different position, if you don't like it tell me, okay?"

"Okay." She mumbles.

I gather her arms behind her back, remove the tie from around her eyes and wrap them
around her wrists. I unbuckle my belt and push my trousers down. Kicking them off, I grab
onto my cock and run the tip along her slit.

She turns her head to the side and stares up at me with those vixen eyes of hers as I bury
myself deep into her cunt.

"Fuck." I groan, my head falling back. "You feel so fucking good." I lean down and kiss
along her back as I thrust into her, biting down into her skin when I feel her walls tighten
around me.

"I love the way you feel inside of me."

My hips snap so hard against her when the words escape her mouth. I sit up and grab her by
the hips, pulling her up so that her arse is in the air.

My left hand wraps around her bound hands while my right grips tightly onto her arse as I
jerk forward, hard and fast. The headboard is crashing against the wall but her cries of
pleasure cover the sound of the wood clashing with the wall.

"Draco, I'm-"

I reach around and grab her neck and pull her up. Her head falls back onto my chest as I
thrust up into her while I rub circles around her clit.

"Are you going to cum for me sweetheart?"

"Y-yes." She pants, her voice barely audible.

My face is buried in her neck, devouring every inch of her with my mouth. My hand smacks
against her clit and I feel her tighten so hard around me, suffocating my cock and it pushes
me over the edge.

"Fuck baby," I growl.

Her whole body is shaking. I cover her mouth with mine, swallowing all of her moans as she
unravels all over me while I fill her insides.
I free her hands and pull out from her. She quickly turns around to face me, her arms slinging
around my neck as she pulls me into her and sighs into my mouth. I run my hand through her
hair, pushing it out of her face.

"I love you." She tells me and I'm about to say it back. Every part of me wants to say it back.
She already knows but I've never actually said those words out loud and I'm just about to
when there's a knock on my door. I can feel every muscle in her body tense against me.

"It's probably just Theo." I tell her. "I'll get rid of him."

Climbing off the bed, I grab her clothes off the floor and hand it to her. I slip on my pants, not
bothering with a shirt. I wait until she is fully dressed before I open the door.

"What do you fucking wan-" and suddenly it feels like I've just been punched straight in the
gut.

"Hello darling."

My grip on the door handle tightens and I swear I heard the wood split. My jaw is so tight it
feels like my teeth are about to crack.

"Katya." I say through gritted teeth. "What an unpleasant surprise. Russia finally kick you
out?"

"Oh Dray," she says, placing her hand on my chest. "Always the charming one. Aren't you
going to invite me in?"

"Let me think about that... no. What the fuck are you doing here?"

"That's no way to speak to a friend." Her hand still on my fucking chest. "And last time I
checked we were awfully good friends." Her eyelashes flutter as her hand trails down my
torso.

I grip her wrist and remove her hand from my body. "Cut the bullshit Katya." She tries to step
into my room but I move in front of her. "What do you want?"

"You." She smirks. "But I heard you're courting. What was the bint's name again?" Her finger
tapping against her chin. "Ah! Yes, Astoria Greengrass. Is she in there? Is that why you're
being so rude? Hi Astoria!" She shouts.

I roll my eyes at her obnoxious pettiness. "You're telling me you came all the way from
Russia just to be a bitch to the girl I'm courting?"

"No Dray, what kind of girl do you think I am?"

I fucking hate when she calls me that. Dray? Really? My name has five fucking letters, what's
so hard about just saying Draco? Fucking cunt.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours." She smiles. Before I can even begin to figure out
what she's referring to she forcefully yanks my left forearm and places her own beside it, two
dark marks staring up at me.

"What the fuck?"

"That's right lover, I'm just like you now." Katya says, all too happy. "I'm actually here on
business. You see, I may or may not have convinced the dark lord that I would be a much
more reliable source to report back if you are truly courting Astoria. I mean, we did date after
all."

"We never dated." I correct.

"Dating, slept together for years, honestly what's the difference these days?" She waves her
hand in the air. "Regardless, I'll be here for a bit."

"What a fucking treat."

"Yes, I am. Well, I better go unpack. If you need anything I'll be rooming with Pansy during
my stay." She leans in and kisses my cheek before walking off.

Slamming the door, I turn around to see a very confused Granger. Fucking brilliant.

"Katya?" She asks. "Who is Katya?"

"No one." I reply, walking over to my closet and pulling out a shirt. "She was sent here to spy
on me, to report on my courting with Astoria."

"Oh."

I slip my shirt on and head over to her as I button it. "I have to go talk to Theo and Blaise but
I won't be long. Are you okay staying here?"

"Er-yeah-sure."

"Okay." I lean down and kiss her forehead before rushing out of the room.
 Chapter 45

"So she just showed up? Just like that?" Blaise asks, again. I nod, downing the remainder of
my drink before running my hand down the length of my face.

"What about the wards? I thought you couldn't step foot onto the grounds unless you were a
student or professor?" Theo adds.

"Her dad probably paid her way in." Blaise replies. "That man uses money to get her
whatever she wants. Isn't that right, Draco." He winks at me.

"What are you? – oh go to hell Zabini, her dad did not pay me to fuck her." I scoff, throwing
my cup at him. He ducks his head to avoid it, the glass shattering against the wall behind
him.

"So what are you going to do mate?" Theo asks.

Honestly? I have no fucking clue. Faking the courting in front of Trotley was easy, the
woman barely knows me. All she knows is that I'm a 17 year old who mercilessly kills people
so to her, me barely clinging onto Astoria's hand must mean I'm in love.

But Katya... fucking Bulgarian petty ass princess Katya knows me pretty well. I've known her
since we were ten and the last time I saw her was just before the beginning of fifth year.

Her family and mine would get together a few times throughout the summer, either at the
manor or our estate in France.

Have we slept together? Yes. But only a handful of times so I don't know where she's getting
this years bull shit. She was the last girl I slept with before Granger. Katya was the one who,
while I was inside of her, all I could think of was Granger. Her big brown eyes and mop of
curls.

And now here I am. Granger waiting for me in my dorm after I actually fucked her and Katya
just down the hall, fully prepared to call bluff on my courting Astoria.

My head hurts. My eyes hurt. I'm exhausted. Annoyed. And I have no energy for this, not
with the million other things I have going on.

"We could kill her." Blaise suggests, shrugging innocently.

My eyebrows raise and I tilt my head, not entirely opposed to the idea. Theo on the other
hand just has to be a drag. "You can't just kill people!" He argues.

"Why not?" I ask. "That's all I've been doing for the past five months or so."

"For the love of merlin." He murmurs, taking a deep breath. "Draco, how I see it is you have
two choices here. First one, go public in your relationship with Granger."
"Absolutely fucking not!"

"Figured you'd react that way." He says. "Okay, so then you need to court Astoria and I
mean actually court her. Take her on proper dates, buy her flowers, walk her to class and shit,
at least until Katya leaves."

"I prefer the third option." I tell him.

"Third option? What's the third option?"

"Killing her."

Blaise claps and begins agreeing with me but is quickly shut down when Theo punches him
in the arm.

"You can't kill her." Theo says to me, his tone reminding me of my mother's.

"Fine. How about I kill myself instead?" I suggest. "Quick dagger to the jugular should do the
trick or if I want to get real flashy with it I could pitch myself off of the astronomy tower."

Theo stands up from his chair, takes two strides towards me to clear the gap and smacks me
across the face, Blaise nearly falls off his bed at the sight of it.

"Did you just.... Did you just fucking slap me?!"

"Yes." Theo says causally. "How do you feel?"

"I feel like I'm about to go confiscate Mayor Brown's gun and put a bullet through your
head." I snarl.

His eyes go wide for a moment but then he relaxes, his eyebrows pulling together. "Hmm,
that's not what I was expecting."

"And what exactly were you expecting fuckhead?"

"To knock some sense into you but it appears it didn't work, perhaps it's because you're
occluding, you are occluding, right?"

"Yes, why do you care?"

"Because somehow you seem to be more hostile when you're not. It's a very backwards way
your brain works mate, have you ever considered getting that checked out?"

Aggravated by this conversation, I stand up and head for the door.

"Where are you going?" Blaise asks.

"For a run," I tell him. "Maybe find a cliff to jump off of, I don't know."

I ran 12 kilometers. 12 fucking kilometers and I still can't shake this pit in my stomach.
Everything was fine until Katya showed up. Granger and I were good again, I've been able to
endure freckles' company and even though I've been up to my neck with reports and
assignments of my own, I was managing.

I'm starting to think this is how my life will always be. A small time where I'm allowed to be
content, happy even, and then bam. A 5'9 Bulgarian will come knocking on my door to ruin it
all.

Theo is probably right, even though I still think killing Katya is the most logical option, but I
can't actually court Astoria. I'm good at turning off my emotions not faking them. She's pretty
and nice and that's all great but I don't like her like that. I've only ever felt true attraction for
Granger, every other girl it's been purely physical.

I'm rounding the corner for the common room when I spot a flash of red hair out of the corner
of my eye. For once, I'm glad to see her. Now I have an excuse to not go back to my room
yet, I'm not exactly excited to have to explain our new circumstance to Granger.

"Lost are we, freckles?"

Her head pops up and even though she managed to wipe her eyes, the faint redness within
them gives away the fact that she's been crying. I changed my mind, I am not glad to see her.
Maybe if I just back away really slowly she'll forget that I was ever here.

I move my left foot back but she's already talking before I can move my right. Fuck me.

"I was actually coming to see you." She tells me.

My eyebrow quirks. "Me? Why?"

"Because you're a guy."

"You have a true talent at pointing out the obvious."

I wait for her to insult me, shoot some snarky remark back, but she doesn't. Instead she says
"Is it a male thing to be completely oblivious or is there actually something wrong with me?"
I never thought I'd see the day where Weaslette would be crying over a guy. She always has
such a strong front, like nothing in the world could ever hurt her but I guess I do the same. It's
easy to push it away but eventually, it'll all force it's way out.

"There's nothing wrong with you freckles." I say, sitting on the ground beside her. "Well, I
mean there is but I'm sure you'll grow into your ears eventually." This earns a harsh slap to
my chest but I'll let it slide. "Why are you letting some sod like Potter get to you? I've said it
before and I'll say it until the day I die, you can do better. Anyone can do better than scarhead
but especially you."

"Did you just compliment me Malfoy?" She asks.

"No, I was insulting Potter but take it however you'd like I guess."

She rubs her eyes and then runs her hands through her hair. "I make it so obvious that I like
him and I think he likes me too but he acts so dumb about it."
"In his defense, I don't think he's acting." I reassure her. "He's actually just dumb, he'd
misplace his head if it wasn't attached to his body."

She's crying again. Sobbing. What the hell am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to even do
anything? Do I walk away? Do I just awkwardly sit here until she's done? I guess I could try
to... comfort her? I lightly pat her back a few times. "There, there. You'll be alright kid." I
thought that would've worked but nope, still crying. I'm extremely uncomfortable.

"Ginny can you stop?" I ask, her head immediately shoots up. Okay. Maybe that wasn't the
best thing to say? "Uh-sorry-do you want me to get Granger? Will that make you feel better?"

"You just called me Ginny."

"Well that's your name, is it not?"

"Yes but you just called me Ginny!" Her voice raising as she stands up. "Not freckles, red,
Weaslette or even kid. Ginny!"

I think this girl is having a stroke. She's gone completely mad. If I leave now I can get
Madam Pomfrey here in 5, 10 minutes tops. I'd probably have to carry the old hag because
merlin knows she's the world's slowest walker but I can't let this kid die on my watch,
Granger would have my head.

"Do I have to call you Draco now? Why did you have to ruin this!" Now she's shouting and
throwing her arms in the air. "Everything was fine - just fine! And then you just have to go
and do this!"

"Can you tell me what the fuck you're on about?"

"You called me Ginny!" She shouts at me again.

"Yeah, that part I managed to gather on my own but why do you look like you're about to set
the place on fire?"

"Because!" She stomps her foot down and I'm honestly preparing myself to get punched in
the face but then she let's out a long and slow deep breath. "Now I have to be your friend,
like actual friend."

"What?!" My eyes go wide. "I don't see why that needs to happen."

"Well it does because you called me Ginny which means I've finally managed to break
through to you so now we have to be friends, that's just how it is."

"Uh, yeah, no. I'm good on that. Do you want me to insult you or something? You know
what, I'll just go ahead and do it. Your haircut is uneven, your eyebrows look like a child
drew them on and just because you got your robe hemmed it's still obvious that it once
belonged to one of your brother's because your family is too poor to buy you a new one.
There, did that work?"
She shakes her head, crosses her arms and smiles at me. This is the most horrific thing I've
ever seen in my life. "Sorry Draco but you and I?" Her hand gesturing between the both of
us. "We're friends now. How does it feel?"

"I'll just add it to the list of all the other terrible things that have happened to me today." I
groan as I stand up and begin heading for the common room.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning for breakfast!" She shouts from behind me.

"Please go away freckles!" I yell back.

December 29 1996

Just as I had expected, Granger wasn't thrilled about the news of me having to put more effort
into courting Astoria. She also seems to not particularly like Katya as a person, I don't blame
her. I managed to sneak Granger out of the common room early this morning before my run
but when I returned I was immediately cornered by Katya.

"Finally!" She exclaims, getting up from the couch. "I thought you were never going to
show."

"Oh, you're actually here? I thought it was a terrible nightmare." I say, rolling my eyes and
walking right past her and up to my dorm. When I reach my room I go to close the door but
her foot stops it and she steps inside.

"I like the room Dray, it's very.. you." She says as she walks the perimeter of my room. "I was
hoping you could escort me to the great hall for breakfast. This school is massive and I
haven't been able to map it out yet."

"Here's a better idea, leave. Go back home or back to Russia, I couldn't care less, just as long
as it gets you away from me."

"Merlin Dray, you've never been this rough before. I mean, you have." She smirks. "But I
thought you'd be more excited to see me."

"Well I'm not." I reply, stripping off my shirt and pulling a fresh one from my closet. As I'm
snaking my arm through the sleeve I feel her hand press against my back. Spinning around, I
grip her wrist tightly, our faces only inches from one another. "Don't touch me." I growl.

"Gods I love it when you're angry."

I push past her and make my way down the stairs as I finish buttoning my shirt, of course
she's right on my heels. She spent the entire walk to the great hall talking about shit I couldn't
care less about. Everything from her latest drama with her mother to the guys she shagged in
Russia.

"I mean they are wild-"

"Here we are." I say, cutting her off. "You can sit with Pansy, I'm sure she'd love to hear all
about the several guys you shagged.” She starts talking again but I've already walked away.
As I head for my seat I steal a quick glance over at Granger and wink, her face instantly
turning red.

"If you keep sitting here people are going to start thinking that you're trying to switch
houses." I say to freckles as I take my seat.

"Who's the bimbo you walked in with?" She asks, staring down at Katya who is sat between
Blaise and Pansy.

"Katya Viktor."

"That explains nothing to me."

"Freckles." I groan, releasing an exasperated breath. "I can't believe I'm saying this but can
we just talk about you today?"

She was far too excited to fill me in on her latest revelations when it came to Potter. Telling
me that she believes she cracked the code to winning his heart and how to get herself out of
the "best friend's little sister" zone. Good for her, honestly. I hate Potter and think he's
extremely incompetent but if he makes her happy then so be it. Maybe if she can finally snag
him she'll leave Granger and I alone more often, primarily me.

This morning felt like the longest breakfast ever and I wish we had classes or I had some
assignment to be sent off on today, anything to get me away from here or at least Katya but
nope. The second breakfast was let out I tried to sneak away to get Granger but I was
stopped.

"I'm surprised to see you don't spend breakfast with your little girlfriend. Then again, you
never were one to show much affection outside of the bedroom. Are you even capable of
romance Dray?" Katya asks.

For you? Never. For Granger? Always.

"Do you ever get tired of hearing your own voice?" I scoff.

"No."

"Well I do, it gives me an instant migraine. Also, if you insist on staying can you at least call
me by my actual fucking name? I've told you countless times that I hate that stupid nickname
of yours."

"I think it's cute." She argues.

"It's not."

"What's got you in a mood, Dray?"

I'm about to snap this woman's neck. "I have a lot of work to do so if you could kindly fuck
off that would be great."

"I hope some of that work involves preparing for the new years party."

I stop in my tracks. Shit. I completely forgot about that. The dark lord has decided that we are
one big happy family which means we should all be together to ring in the new year. It's also
his way of gathering everyone in one place and observing who makes a fool of themselves.
My mother, of course, volunteered to host it, which means it will be held at the manor. We
should start charging him if he's going to continue to use our home as his own personal
headquarters.

"I'm assuming you'll be bringing Astoria as your date?" She asks.

"Of course." I reply though it pains me to do so. Granger is going to hate this. We had plans
to go watch the fireworks together in London with her parents. Shit. Shit. Shit. I was
supposed to be meeting her bloody parents for the first time. Hermione Granger was
bringing me home to meet her parents, to take part in one of their oldest family traditions and
now I have to not only tell her I can't anymore but that I'll be spending the holiday with a
completely different girl. This is just fucking perfect.

December 30 1996

The second I spot her in the corridor I grab her hand and pull her into the nearest empty
classroom, locking the door and silencing the room. "Draco!" She gasps. "What are you_"

"I waited for you." I interrupt, crossing my arms.

"W-what?"

"Outside the common room. I waited all night for you but you never came. Why didn't you
come Granger?"

"I just thought - Katya being here and all - I didn't think I should-" I silence her rambling by
pressing my lips to hers, her hands instantly finding their way to the back of my neck and
mine around her waist.

"I never want to experience another day where I wake up and you're not by my side Granger."
I whisper against her ear before kissing down her neck.

Her fingers begin fumbling with my belt, letting out an aggravated huff when it gets stuck.
"Someone's a little impatient." I chuckle. "Shut up." She says, rolling her eyes as she finally
gets my belt off and unzips my pants.

"How long until you need to leave today?"

My breath catches as her palm presses against my length. "Ten minutes." I tell her.
"Better make it quick then."

"Love," I smirk. "I only need five to get you off."

"Prove it." She challenges.

I bend down and lift her up, her legs wrapped around my torso as I pin her against the wall.
This. This is everything. Her body pressed into mine. The sound of my name intertwined
with her moans. The softness of her skin against my lips, her nails digging into my back and
gods the way her warmth tightly wraps around me. If heaven is real, this is surely it because
there will never be a feeling that's better than the one I'm experiencing right now.

It's honestly not even about how I feel. Just knowing that I'm the reason for her eyes rolling
back, her lips to part, hips to buck and toes to curl, it's all I need. She's a fucking goddess and
she and her body deserve to be treated like so. Every fantasy that I've ever had of her will
never compare to the real thing. The raw and pure beauty that Granger is as she comes
undone. I almost want to buy a pensive and pull this memory so that I can re-watch it time
and time again but I never want to give someone the chance of possibly seeing it, of seeing
her, like this. This is mine. She is mine and no one will ever get to experience this except for
me.

As we're both readjusting our clothes the weight of reality sets back in. I have to tell her that I
can't be with her on new years or meet her parents. I really don't want to but considering new
years eve is tomorrow and I won't be back until late tonight it's really the only time I'll be
able to.

"There's something I need to talk to you about." I tell her, instant panic floods her body. Her
shoulders stiffen, eyes go wide and her breathing has become rapid.

"Okay, what is it?" Her voice small, shaky.

"It's about tomorrow." I begin, taking her hands in mine. "I can't go with you."

"Do you have an assignment?"

"Kind of. All of us are to attend a party at the manor, even lower ranks."

I'm expecting her to yell at me for backing out but instead she asks about Katya and the
calmness of her tone is even more confusing.

"Katya?"

"Yes, Katya. Will she also be in attendance?" She asks.

"Yes?"

"Will she be spending a lot of time with you during this party?" And there it is. The very rare,
but familiar, sound of jealousy.

"You needn't worry about Katya Granger." I smile.

"But you two have slept together in the past, right? That's what she had said when she came
to your room the other night."

I let out a sigh. "That's correct but it was purely out of convenience. Her family and mine
have always gotten together since I was little. It was something that was bound to happen but
it never meant anything to me."

"What about me? Does it mean anything with me?"

"It means everything." This manages to calm her, to subside her insecurity but then she
suggests the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard. "No." My voice stern. "Over my dead
body will I allow you to step foot into that place."

"But Draco-"

"I said no Granger! There's a reason I haven't paraded you around. Don't you know that it
kills me to still have to hide our relationship? To still be sneaking around. But it's to keep you
safe. You are the best friend of the one thing Voldemort wants more than anything else. Do
you know what would happen if he found out about us?" I ask but I continue before giving
her a chance to respond. "He would use you as leverage against me and to get Potter so that
he can kill him and then once that's done he'd either make me watch as he killed you or make
me do it myself. Everything that I do is to protect you and I'm sorry that I can't be with you
tomorrow or meet your parents but I am not going to let you prance right into a room full of
death eaters."

"But what if I wasn't me? What if I was Astoria, appearance wise." She suggests. "I still have
some polyjuice potion, don't ask why, all I would need is one of her hairs and then I could-"

"No. Polyjuice is too unreliable, there's no telling how long it would last."

"That's true but I do know that it lasts at least for an hour which would be an acceptable
amount of time to be there, would it not?"

"Yes, it would be but my answer is still the same."

"Well then how do you expect to convince Katya that you're actually courting Astoria?" She
asks. "I've seen you two interact and it's clear as day that you aren't romantically interested."

"I'll figure it out."

"Can you at least think about it?"

"I have and I've given you my final answer."

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Yes, fine." She repeats.

"Granger..."

"What?"

"Don't even think about going against me." I warn. "If I find that even a single hair is missing
from Astoria's head I will lock you in my dorm."

"Hair falls out all the time, it's a natural bodily process."

"Love.."

"What?!"

"I mean it. Don't do anything stupid."

"When do I ever?"

I don't think she wants me to answer that.

 Chapter 46

December 31 1996

The manor is brighter than usual, inviting almost. Any furniture that once resided within the
foyer and drawing room have been migrated elsewhere, leaving an open floor for the many
guests that have already begun filing in.

Mother always did love hosting parties, she used to host them often but over the past few
years I noticed them become fewer and farther between. Even though tonight's guests
primarily consist of death eaters, I can see a glint in her eye that has been absent for a long
time.

"Draco, darling." She smiles, spotting me the instant I step into the room.

"Mother, the place looks nice." I tell her. She gently squeezes my arm and takes in her
surroundings, proud of how it all came together.

"Has Astoria arrived yet?"

"No but she shouldn't be long."

"I see." There's a shift in her eyes - her entire face actually. I can't quite decipher what this
odd expression means but I'm not a fan of it.

"Is everything okay mother?"

She blinks a few times and lightly shakes her head, her lips pulling up into a rather forced
smile. "You know that all I want is for you to be happy, right?"

Not really.

"Of course." I reply.

"Good, good. It's all I've ever wanted for you, to be happy." Her voice strained. "I never
wanted any of this for you. I wanted you to have the ability to make your own life decisions."

I know that she's being genuine but sometimes I still have a hard time believing her. If she
truly wanted that for me then she would've done something - anything, when it came to my
father. She knew what he would do to me, the way he tortured me and the life he was
prepping me for.

Even now, when he cut into my chest just a few months ago, she just stood idly by in the
neighboring room. She even had the nerve to try and comfort me afterwards. If my father
taught me anything it's that people lie, turn on you and will leave your life as quickly as they
entered it. The only person you should ever rely on is yourself, everyone else is expendable.

"Draco?"
I blink. Return my gaze to her. My eyes gloss over as I cement my occlumency. Her face
drops again.

"Please, you needn't do that around me. I would never invade your privacy."

"I'm sure everyone will have a great night." I reply, ignoring her comment. "Perhaps Skeeter
will cover it in tomorrow's Daily Prophet. If you'll excuse me, Astoria should be here any
moment." I lean down and place a gentle kiss on her cheek before breaking away.

As I'm on my way to the front door I'm stopped by Katya. Her hair is pulled back, diamond
necklace hanging from her neck and she's in a floor length black dress that clings to her body.

"Such fond memories flood back whenever I return here. All the fun we used to get up to."
She smiles as she delicately places her hand on my shoulder. "Some of which took place in
this very room if I remember correctly. Right in that corner over there on a couch. What ever
did happen to it? I don't recall seeing it last time I visited."

My gaze shifts down to her hand and then back up to her eyes. "We burned it." My tone flat
as I peel her hand off of me. "If you don't mind, my date has just arrived."

Stepping around her, I approach Astoria just as she's handing her coat off to one of the house
elves.

"Tori." I nod.

"Hello." She smiles, dipping down into a curtesy. What the hell was that? Brushing off the
odd action, I extend my hand to help her down the stairs. Her grip tightens as she trips on the
last one, my hand flying to the mid of her back to steady her.

"A bit off kilter tonight are we Tori?"

"Just a tad." She nervously laughs. Once she finds her footing we continue on our way. As we
step inside the drawing room, I retrieve two glasses from a serving tray and hand one to her.
"What is it?" She asks, examining the drink.

"Champagne?" I reply, confused by her lost expression.

She takes a cautious sip, her eyes expanding the instant the liquid touches her lips. "It's
delightful!" She exclaims.

I am extremely confused. Why is she acting like she's never had champagne before? I know
for a fact that she has, I've seen her drink it and her father is notorious for his love for the
particular beverage.

I'm just about to ask her why she's acting so weird when Katya approaches us. Tori's hand
flying over to mine, intertwining our fingers, Katya is very quick to take note of this.

"Dray, this must be Astoria."

"You're still in possession of some common sense, that's good to know." I taunt. "Tori, this is
Katya."

"Pleasure to meet you." Astoria smiles, reaching out to shake her hand but hastily lowering it
when she realizes our hands are still connected.

"Hmm, cute." Katya says, eyeing her up and down. "I'll see you both later?"

"If we're unlucky enough." I reply, offering her a fake smile.

Once Katya steps away and is out of earshot I turn to Astoria. "What's going on?" I ask.
"You're acting strange. Also what's with the hand holding? Usually you opt to clutch onto my
arm, your hand is really clammy too."

Her face flushes out of embarrassment, pulling her hand back and wiping it off on her dress
as she apologizes.

"Stop." I place my hand on hers. "I didn't mean for it to come off as an insult it's just – you
don't seem like yourself. Are you okay?"

"Just a little nervous is all." She admits. "It's a bit intimidating being in a room full of, you
know."

Sometimes I forget that just because her father is a death eater doesn't automatically mean
she's acquainted with them. Mostly everyone here is rather timid but I can level with her, see
where the discomfort could be coming from.

"Relax, no one is going to hurt you here. None of us bite, unless prompted to do so." I joke
which earns a small laugh from her. "We can go over and join Theo, Blaise and Pansy if that
would make you feel more comfortable?"

"Sure-yeah that would be nice."

I guide her to the other side of the room to where they are, Pansy instantly slinging her arm
around her. "Thank merlin." Her voice full of relief. "I was beginning to suffocate on the
overwhelming amount of testosterone in here."

The girls engage in their own conversation while Theo, Blaise and I step off to the side. They
ask me if I've reconsidered their suggestion and I tell them that I haven't so they can drop it
already.

"I'm not kissing her, I don't care how it looks." I scoff.

"But it's tradition for every couple to do so at midnight!" Blaise complains.

"Well then it's time for a new one. I will offer her an oh so loving pat on the back, that's it."

"Whatever mate, it's your life on the line, not mine."

"It's about time you came to that realization." I reply.

We exchange a few insults back and forth, Theo making sure to rip on Blaise for his choice in
wearing a pink bow tie. "What's wrong with it?" Blaise asks, offended. "Ladies love a good
bow tie and the color pink." "You're still not going to get laid tonight." Theo chuckles.

They're full on bickering now but I'm not paying attention, instead I'm focused on Astoria.
She's been off since she first arrived and the longer I watch her interact with Pansy it's even
more apparent how weird she's being.

Pansy and her have been friends for years and yet her body language is so closed off, like she
barely knows her, uncomfortable even. Somethings not right. I continue studying Astoria, her
body movements and word choices and then I see it.

She's biting her nails.

Astoria does not bite her nails, something every daughter of a pure blood family is taught to
be improper and inexcusable.

But you know who does bite their nails?

I'm going to fucking kill her.

I step over and join the girls, snaking my hand around "Astoria's" waist which causes her to
jump. Another thing she wouldn't do, that girl soaks in any physical contact from me that she
can get.

"Bit jumpy, Tori?" I ask, quirking an eyebrow.

"Er-no-uh." She stammers. "Just caught me by surprise is all."

Good save.

We continue standing like this, my hand tightly gripping onto her side while Pansy rambles
on until everyone's attention is requested to be directed to the front. The room grows silent as
Voldemort steps out, her body tensing against mine when she sees him. He smiles as his eyes
scan across the room.

"It's always an honor to be able to stand before all of you." He begins. "My loyal and trusted,
in one place. You have remained resilient in your work and I promise you this, it will not be
for nothing. As each day passes we grow closer to achieving purity throughout the world."

Everyone cheers but not her. She's silent. Still. Terrified.

"As of last week we have secured the alliance of both the muggle and wizard minister."
Voldemort continues. "All of which would not have been possible if not for our very own
Lieutenant General Draco Malfoy." His hand reaching out in my direction, everyone turning
to look at me. I remain composed, unaffected by this public commendation.

I can feel her eyes on me, waiting for me to meet them with my own, but I don't. Even though
she looks like Astoria right now I'd still be affected because I know that it's her, that she is the
one looking at me with a mix of horror and confusion.
He wraps up his speech a minute before midnight. Grown men and woman excitedly count
down the seconds, every couple grabbing onto one another once the clock chimes.

I reach over and grab her cheek, turning her head towards me as I lean in and kiss her. It's not
her but at the same time it is, she kisses me with the same hunger and love she always does.
When I pull away I can see her mind beginning to spiral, absolutely livid that I just kissed
another girl, unaware that I know it's her.

I lean my head down so that my mouth is beside her ear and whisper "We'll be discussing this
later, love." I can hear her breath catch as she realizes she's been caught. She tries to play
dumb, saying that she has no idea what I'm talking about but I grab her hand and hold it out
in front of her.

"You know I hate it when you bite your nails."

She finally drops the act and attempts to explain her reasoning but her pathetic excuses are
interrupted when Isaacs, one of my subordinates, informs me that I have been summoned to
the west study. We're only a few steps away when she asks me what's going on.

"I don't know but don't speak unless I say otherwise." I tell her.

"Okay." She nods nervously. I can feel the worry coursing throughout her body, how scared
she is.

This is precisely why I hated this polyjuice idea. It wasn't because of the uncertainty of how
long it would last, it was because I knew she wouldn't be able to handle this, it's too much.
But she made her choice and now she's going to have to deal with it, no backing out now.

As the doors to the study open I see Dolohov, Greyback and Yaxley all sat inside. "Ah,
Lieutenant." Dolohov grins. "This must be the lady we've been hearing about." He stands up
and attempts to reach for her hand but I step inbetween them.

"Dolohov, what is the meaning of this meeting?" I ask.

"Always straight to business you are." He chuckles. "I swear I sometimes forget you're just a
boy, barely even 17."

"I asked you a question, soldier."

He hates when I remind him of the fact that he's lower than me. That I, a 17 year old, got him
demoted, reverting him back to a nobody, a number.

He works his jaw as he returns to his seat, gesturing for me to take my own. I place my hand
on her lower back and guide her over to the desk, positioning her to stand behind me as I sit
down in the chair.

"We have a gift for you, Lieutenant." An unnerving grin on his face. Gifts from Dolohov are
never small boxes that are wrapped neatly with a bow on top, I feel my jaw tense as I begin
imagining what he has for me. "Yaxely, if you would."
Yaxley stands, steps out of the room and shortly returns, a young man being dragged in
behind him. He's thrown down onto the ground in front of my desk, Granger's fingers
tightening on my shoulders.

"You remember the young girl that you graciously let go on your first day with me, don't
you?" Dolohov asks.

"Hardly." I lie.

"Right. Well I was unable to locate her but I did manage to snag her older brother. I thought
you might enjoy starting the new year off with making up for the only target you've ever
failed to execute."

This is a power move, a way for him to order me around even though he no longer holds the
authority to do so. He knows that I can't afford to let him go free, to appear weak in front of
my subordinates. He's forcing my hand and Granger has a front row seat.

"Unless you've suddenly gone soft on us?" Dolohov says. "I'm sure the dark lord would love
to hear that his shining star willingly released someone."

I remain silent as I get up and make my way around the desk, retrieving the knife that sits in
the pocket inside my jacket. Flicking my wrist, the blade snapping out and into place, I grab
onto the kid's shoulder and drive the blade into the side of his neck. Blood spurts out as I
yank my hand back, his hands flying up to his neck as he chokes on his own blood. Yaxley,
Dolohov and Greyback all watch in admiration of my work, verbally applauding me for
being so ruthless.

"Your man is a stone cold killer darling." Yaxley says to Granger-Astoria. "I feel bad for any
guy that attempts to steal even a second of your attention away from him." They all laugh and
offer me one last statement of praise before leaving the room.

"You shouldn't have seen that." I mutter, slowly turning around. Her eyes are full of terror,
glued onto the lifeless body. I step towards her, removing the distance between us and grab
her chin, forcing her to look away.

Her breathing is rapid and her body is shaking. "Look at me, love, you need to calm down.
Intense emotions cause the polyjuice to wear off quicker, you need to try and steady your
breathing." She attempts to draw in a slow breath but fails, her panic only increasing. I can
visibly see the affects of the potion beginning to fail, her hair already scrunching up into curls
and eyes returning to her usual shade of brown. In under a minute her appearance as Astoria
has completely fallen and now all that stands before me is a hysterical Granger.

I'm attempting to console her while simultaneously trying to think of a way to get her out
unnoticed when the doors to the study open. Turning around I see Wilson, a soldier within the
reformation, his eyes immediately landing on Granger. Fuck.

He begins reaching for his wand but I'm quicker. My knife flies out of my hand and slices
through his. He's on his knees, crying out in agony as he clutches tightly onto his now
mangled hand.
"It's nothing personal Wilson." I say, picking up the letter opener from the desk as I walk over
to him. "But when it comes down to choosing between your life or hers, I'm picking hers."

His mouth opens to say something but I've already split his throat open before he's able to
form a single syllable. His body drops down beside the other, the entire rug now stained red. I
call for Mippy and within seconds there's a light cracking sound and she appears at my side,
paying no mind to the bloody scene in front of us.

"Master Draco called for Mippy?"

"Retrieve Mr. Nott, Zabini and Miss Parkinson for me." I instruct.

"Yes Master Draco, Mippy will go right away." Another crack and she's gone.

I return to Granger's side and sit her down in the chair. "Are you alright?" I ask. No response.
Her body is still, stunned as she stares at me blankly. "Granger I need you to talk to me." I
say, caressing her cheek.

"You killed someone." Her voice small, quiet.

"I know." I sigh, dropping my head. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"You killed someone." She repeats, placing her hand under my chin and lifting it so that I
meet her eyes. "For me."

There's no longer a look of fear but instead love, a sense of safety. She's never looked at me
this way before and it makes my legs weak, so weak that I literally drop down onto my knees,
her fingers run through my hair as I rest my forehead in her lap.

I'm a monster and she's seen it firsthand now but she isn't condemning me for it, no, she's
loving me. Loving me for putting her first, for doing whatever is necessary to keep her safe
and for the first time in my life I don't completely hate myself.

A knock on the door is enough to pull me back. I'm expecting Theo to announce himself but
he doesn't. The door swiftly opens and Katya walks in, ignoring the dead bodies and focusing
solely on Granger and I. "Well isn't this cute." She says, closing the door and walking over to
us. "Draco Malfoy and the Hermione Granger."

"You know who I am?" Granger asks.

"Of course I do, you were a rather regular topic for dear Draco over the summers." She tells
her. "The dark lord is going to love hearing about this."

Shooting up to my feet and grabbing her arm I say "You won't be speaking a word of this."

"Is that so? What's in it for me?"

"Of course you want something." I scoff. "What is it this time, money? Daddy finally grow
tired of you burning a hole through his pocket?"
"You know what I want."

"Humor me."

"A kiss." She smirks. "I want you to kiss me and not some juvenile peck. I want you
to really kiss me, like you used to."

"You've officially lost your mind I'm not doing th-"

"Do it." Granger speaks up, my head whipping around to her.

"Granger..."

She gets up from her chair and takes my face between her hands. "Do it. It's just a kiss, it
doesn't mean anything compared to your life, it's okay."

"I like her." Katya says, a smug look on her face.

"Shut the fuck up." I snipe at her before looking back at Granger. "I'm not kissing her."

"You have to Draco, you know what will happen if she tells him."

And I'm back to hating my life. Like I said before, things will be going just fine and then a
five foot nine Bulgarian comes along to ruin it. She's telling me to do it, that it's okay and I
can see that she's being genuine but I strongly disagree. Giving into Katya, letting her get her
way, it will only give her the idea that she can continue to request things from me.

Granger turns me around to face Katya and takes a step back, watching us carefully as our
faces slowly inch closer, my hand finding it's way to her waist. The second our lips brush
against one another I spin her body around so that her back is tightly against me, my knife
pressed into her neck.

"I don't take kindly to blackmail Katya." I whisper. "So here's what you're going to do. You're
going to report back to the dark lord, inform him that my courting Astoria is as authentic as it
gets. You'll tell him that there's no reason to waste his resources on trailing us anymore,
yourself included and then you'll pack your shit and stay out of my life. Understood?"

She slowly nods her head, careful to not accidentally cut herself on the blade.

"I want to hear you say it." I command, pressing the knife tighter into her.

"Understood." She squeals.

The doors fly open again, this time Theo, Blaise and Pansy stand in the doorway. "Bloody
hell!" Pansy gasps. "Quite literally." Blaise adds, taking in the entire scene. "When did she
get here?" He asks, looking over at Granger.

"I'll explain that later." I tell him. "Katya here was just leaving. Pans, do you mind escorting
her?" Releasing my hold, I push her forward. Pansy grabs her arm and drags her out of the
room. "Blaise, I need you to get Granger out. Use the underground passage to get her past the
apparition point. Theo, you'll stay behind to help me clean up this mess."

They both nod, Theo immediately gets to work and Blaise walks over to Granger.

"Wait!" She says, grabbing onto my arm. "You aren't coming with me?"

"No. I need to take care of this, a soldier was killed tonight, there's procedures. Blaise will
bring you to my room, I'll meet you there later."

"But-"

"Granger." I sigh. "I need you to just do as I say for once and not ask questions. Can you do
that for me?" She nods. "Good." I kiss her forehead before sending her off with Blaise.
 Chapter 47

January 1 1997

It's almost noon by the time I make it back to Hogwarts. Voldemort wasn't upset when I gave
him the news of Wilson’s death but he did assign me the task of finding his replacement.
Wilson wasn't of much importance but he did serve a purpose, we all do. Finding a
replacement was as easy as picking a name out of a cauldron but proving that they were the
right fit was what took so long.

Initiations into new roles is taken very seriously. Every opportunity we are offered is
supposed to be seen as a privilege, we are to be grateful – willing to do anything to prove
ourselves worthy.

When I was promoted I had to demonstrate my skills, my ability to do whatever is needed

and most of all my loyalty. I tortured six, fought in hand to hand combat with five (till death,
of course) and underwent the crucio for hours at the hands of the dark lord himself.

Henders, Wilson’s replacement, had it easy in my opinion. It was primarily a lot of

questioning and he only had to exhibit his knife work on one individual. At the end of the
session he walked away only missing a toe, other than that, he was left unharmed. The
paperwork is what drowned me. So much fucking paperwork. I'd be fine if I never saw
another piece of parchment again in my life.

Granger is awake when I enter my room and by the looks of it she never went to sleep in the
first place. She immediately jumps from the bed and runs over to me, launching her body into
my arms. It's a moment of relief holding her, knowing that she's okay but it only lasts for so
long.

After what she saw today I know she's going to have countless questions, she's going to try
and insert herself and mend things, as if that were even a possibility.

"Granger." I exhale. "I should be upset with you for the stunt you pulled."

"But you're not?" She asks.

Oh no. I am. I'm fucking livid. This woman is going to stress me to death. I love how strong
minded she is, how she stands tall for what she believes in but I just wish it wasn't always the
opposite of what I tell her to do. She has easily aged me by fifty years at this point.

"I don't have the energy to be upset with you right now." I tell her, stripping off my clothes as
I walk over to my bed. "Come here."

She crawls up the mattress, plopping her body down directly on top of mine, her curls
tickling my chin as she lays her head down on my chest.

"Draco, can I-"

"Granger, can you please let me sleep for a little before you ask your million questions? I'm
tired, love."

My eyes are closed but I can feel her shift slightly in my arms, her head lifting to look at me
for a moment before resting it back down. She doesn't speak another word and I'm grateful,
allowing the exhaustion to finally defeat me.

By the looks of the dark sky just outside my window I presume it's sometime late in the
evening when I finally wake. Granger, of course, is already up, smiling as she stares at me.

"You look very peaceful when you sleep." She tells me. "The most serene I've seen you."

"Perhaps it's because it's the only time nothing is expected of me." I say casually, tucking her
hair behind her ear.

Her face falls, eyes drowning in sadness. It kills me that this pity filled look is for me. I do
not wish to be pitied, I do not deserve to be. What I do is for survival, yes, but at the end of
the day I'm still the one making the choice, to be the way that I am.

"I want you to tell me." She says.

"Tell you what?"

"Everything."

"Why Granger? How will it be of any benefit to you?"

"After what I saw, who I saw, I need to know. I knew he was back, that he was surely
planning something but I didn't realize how extreme it was. Harry's visions had me worried
but I think I kept sheltering myself from the weight of it, refusing to accept the dark reality."
She takes a deep breath before continuing. "And then there's you. I had an idea of what you
do but I didn't understand the full capacity of it."

Here it goes. This is it, isn't it? The part where she rips my heart from my chest and squeezes
it tightly within her small hand, destroying it.. destroying me. The part where I lose my only
reason for waking up each day, for living.

"There's so much expected of you by not only your father and Voldemort but everyone in that
room. You've been singled out, put on a pedestal. Every single one of your moves is tracked,
watched closely by hundreds, anxiously waiting for you to mess up. Grown men are afraid of
you and they should be but you also shouldn't have to be in that position, to endure all of that.
I'm sorry for being so naive to your situation, to all the pain you must suffer and things you
have seen."

What the fuck? That is not what I was anticipating. I remain silent, unsure of how to respond.

"You've done terrible things, have hurt many but I can see now that you had to make a
choice. Their life or yours but last night you chose neither. You chose me. You risked
everything just to keep me safe and that is why I love you, Draco Malfoy. So allow me to
choose you, to hear everything that you've kept hidden away. Allow me to take some of the
weight that you're constantly having to carry around, even if it's just for a moment. I'm tired
of being scared, of acting like a child. I want to understand, to fight, to be there for you.
Please let me be there for you Draco."

There's so many things I want to say to her right now but no combination of words can even
come close to explaining how I feel, not truly. Anything I'd say right now would be an
injustice to my feelings for her, so instead I just say

"Okay."

We're up all night. Me telling her about my childhood, my father, the things he would do to
me. How my mother never advocated for me but my grandmother did. How much I miss my
grandmother. I went into detail on the history of my friendships and even the house elves I
grew up with.

Then we got to present time. How I knew what was coming, what was expected of me. I told
her about my training, briefly covered what my assignments entail including the cabinet and
his plans for it, for Hogwarts. It's the first time I've allowed myself to see the situation for
what it truly is as a whole, which is fucked. I mean, I always knew I was fucked but I've
never acknowledged that everything I was doing was helping lead to one giant fucked
situation.

I've just finished telling her about my initiation for the position I'm currently in when she
speaks for the first time in hours.

"You use occlumency to subdue the pain, right?"

"That is correct."

"Was Voldemort able to tell that you weren't affected by the crucio?"

A small chuckle slips from my lips.

"What?" She asks.

"My occlumency is very strong, I'll openly admit that but it's not strong enough to counter
hours of a continuous crucio." I explain.

Her eyes go wide. "So you felt all of it?" Her face horrified and voice trembling.

"Yes."

"I don't mean to sound shocked but how are you still alive Draco?"

"He took breaks," I shrug. "Allowed me just enough time to regain the needed energy to
survive. Have you never been tortured Granger?" I ask sarcastically.

"No, I can't say I have."

"Good." My tone turning serious. "I intend to keep it that way."

"Can I ask another question?"

"What else could you possibly need to know?" I ask, drained from the hours of talking.
"Would you like to know the order in which I wash my body? I start with my face then-"

"No, no." A small giggle as she playfully slaps my chest. "Occlumency."

"Ah, should have figured."

"Theo told me that one night that you're constantly occluding. That you don't even lower it
when it's just him around."

"Where are you going with this Granger?"

"Is that still true?" She asks, her shaky voice outing her nervousness.

"Yes."

"Even when you're with me?"

"I lower it enough to have some sort of personality but yes, even when I'm with you."

She's sitting up. Staring at me. Fuming with rage. Really? Out of all the things I've told
her this is what has her mad? This witch is unbelievable. Oh good, her arms are crossed now
too. I think her anger has created an electric current because her curls are practically alive
with static.

"You can't be serious." I groan, running my hand down my face.

"Why don't you feel comfortable enough around me to drop it?"

"Granger that's not-"

"Do you not trust me?" She asks, hurt and worry lacing her words. "Do you think that I
would try to access your memories?"

"Trust me, that has never been a worry of mine." I mock. "Your occlumency is terrible so I
can't imagine you'd be much better at legilimency."

"Draco." Her voice stern and expression telling me that it's not the time for snarky remarks.

Vulnerability is not something I'm comfortable with or well versed in. It's something I was
conditioned to associate with being weak and being weak in my family is unacceptable. But
before me is my Granger. My beautiful Granger. And she's trying her best to comprehend the
shit show that is my life and in order for her to have a fair chance at doing so I have to at least
try.

I reposition myself so that I'm now sitting, my back against the headboard. I stare down at my
hands, fiddling with the ring around my pointer finger.
"I'm trying my best, Granger."

"Trying your best to what?" She asks, her tone softening as she inches closer to me.

"To keep it together. To maintain some sort of sanity, though I'm not sure I have any left.
What I am sure of is you. I will do anything for you, whatever it takes to keep you safe but I
can't do that if my head is a mess, if I'm not focused."

Granger reaches for my hand, tightly squeezing it with her own. "And occlumency helps you
do that." She says, finally understanding.

I meet her eyes and nod. "I've been occluding continuously for the past six months. I got a
preview of what it will be like for me if I drop it after I got shot. My body was weak and
needed to recover so it channelled all of my energy there." I flinch at the memories of waking
up covered in sweat after that nightmare, my chest tight as I struggled to breathe. "I can't
afford to be like that, not right now. I'm not doing it to hurt you, I'm doing it so that I can
protect you."

"But what about you?" Granger asks.

"What about me?"

"Who is protecting you? Who is making sure that you are safe?"

"You don't need to worry yourself with questions like that, my love." I say, running my
thumb across her cheek. "As long as you are still breathing then I will be too."

"And if something were to happen to me?"

No amount of occlumency can protect me from the pain that courses through my body from
the thought of her dead.

"Then I'm done." I tell her. "There's no reason for me to be alive if you aren't as well. I told
you Granger, you're it for me. Without you, I am nothing."
 Chapter 48

January 9 1997

Granger has been different ever since new years, not in a bad way but different nonetheless.
She's focused, determined to take down Voldemort and I believe in her, truly. If anyone is
capable of doing so it's her but I'm worried, there's a lot she still needs to learn. For starters,
her occlumency is still terrible. One of Voldemort's favorite things to do is use one's mind
against them, their fears, memories of loved ones. Granger is a walking bleeding heart and
that can very easily be used against her.

The next is her combat skills. She's an excellent duelist but without a wand all she's left with
is that big brain of hers which is helpful for strategy but ultimately useless when someone is
charging at you with a dagger. I keep having to remind her that us death eaters are cross
trained. We were forced to become resourceful with and without magic, I could easily kill
someone with a fucking feather if I needed to.

All I've been able to think about as of late is what happens after I finish mending the cabinet.
The aftermath of me killing my headmaster and death eaters invading Hogwarts. War. War is
what happens. Sides will be chosen and even more blood will be shed. Sometimes I think she
forgets that we will be on opposite sides when this happens.

January 15 1997

"How many people have you killed?" Granger casually asks as we're laying in bed.

"How many goalposts are there on the quidditch pitch?"

She wastes no time in answering "Six."

"Times that by five."

"Merlin!" She gasps. "I mean, I guess that's not as bad as I thought it would-"

"Or by six.. maybe seven.. eight? Honestly Granger, I haven't a clue." I shrug. "I got bored of
keeping track after 5."

"How on earth does one get bored of keeping track of how many people they've killed?"

"When it surpasses the number five." I reply. "It just became too tedious at that point."

Truth be told, I could give her a number if I wanted to. I don't know it off of the top of my
head but I do have the ability to figure it out. If I had to guess I'd say just north of 60. I
remember their names, their faces, where they lived, age, family members. I'm given
extensive files on each target and part of my job is to study them, memorize everything that I
can. It's not that I intentionally remember these facts, it's just how my brain works. Once I've
learned something it sticks.

January 23 1997

"You're not even moving out of the way now!" Weaslette complains.

"And yet you still can't mark me. Honestly, you should be extremely embarrassed at this
point."

I've agreed to continue to train her on the condition that Granger begins partaking as well.
They're both dreadful and seem to only get worse each time, I didn't know that was possible.
Freckles lunges for me again and I simply take one step to the left to avoid her completely,
ruffling her hair as she passes by.

"Are you trying to be terrible at this?" I genuinely ask. "At this point I think a bloody first
year would have a better chance at stabbing me."

"I'm trying!"

"Well if this is you putting in effort I can see why Potter has no clue you fancy him. Minimal
effort is a waste of time, energy and will provide you with no results. It's all or nothing."

She attempts to take a cheap shot at me while my back is turned but I grab her wrist just as
the tip of the blade was about to make contact with my neck. "That was better." I smirk. "It
almost seemed like you were actually trying to kill me that time."

"I was." She says.

"Unbelievable," I scoff. "You'd really kill your only friend freckles?"

"I have other friends besides you." She argues.

"I find that very hard to believe."

"But it's true."

"Okay, name one then and don't say Granger, she doesn't count."

"What? Why doesn't she count?"

"Because you two are practically family." I tell her. "Family doesn't count as friends." She
crosses her arms and rolls her eyes as she lets out an irritated huff. "I'm still waiting for you
to list a single name." I taunt.

"Har-"

"No."
"You didn't even know who I was going to say Draco!"

"You were going to say scarhead and he doesn't count either. You want to shag the man not
be his friend. Try again."

The room is nothing but silence for a few minutes before she finally says "Fine! I don't have
any friends other than you. There, happy?"

"Aw, freckles." I frown.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asks.

"Because your life was already so sad to begin with but now it's just depressing."

She attempts to charge at me but I stick my arm out, my palm smacking against her forehead
to stop her.

"Such a fucking git - spoiled prat - blond bitch." She's swinging her arms and trying to kick
me as she continues to mutter several insults and curse at me.

The door swings open and in steps Granger but her presence doesn't distract Weaslette from
the task at hand, which based off of the current direction her legs are swinging, I'd say is to
kick me in the balls.

"Hello love." I smile over at Granger.

"Draco, what's going on here?" She asks.

"Oh you know, just another day of quality bonding with freckles here."

"Hermione, I swear I'm going to kill your boyfriend!" Weaslette shouts.

"She's very good at talking a big game but never following through." I say, dropping my hand
which results in her falling face first into my bed. Walking over to Granger, I pull her into me
by her waist and lower my head down to kiss her.

"You both make me want to hurl."

Nonverbally, I conjure my door to swing open and point for her to leave. "Did you just do
wandless magic?" She asks, her tone full of shock.

"Time for you to fuck off freckles." I mutter before kissing Granger again.

"But you just-"

"Now!"

I hear the sound of her footsteps crossing the room as she mumbles several expletives. Once I
hear her step just outside the room I conjure the door to slam shut and lock.
February 8 1997

"A horcrux, you're sure?" She asks me.

"Yes, he made seven in total."

"Do you know where the rest of them are?"

I shake my head. "All I know is that you won't be able to kill him unless you destroy those. I
mean, you technically could but he wouldn't stay dead."

I've been providing Granger with any useful information I come across and then she relays it
to Potter and Weasley. They've been giving her a hard time, asking her how she knows any of
this and when she says she can't tell them they just throw a fit. I think she would be better off
just doing this without them, their stupidity will only slow her down.

She'd never leave them behind though, a fact I absolutely loathe. I don't know why she
bothers with them, they don't bring anything useful to the table.

"They're my friends." She always tells me. So? Blaise, Theo and Pansy are my friends but
that doesn't disable me from being able to see how moronic they are.

When it comes to war you need to rid yourself of anything that weighs you down and in
Granger's case, it's her friends. Potter thinks that because he's the chosen one he has all the
answers. He doesn't. Almost everything he's accomplished has been due to Granger. As for
Weasley, I really don't know what purpose he serves. I guess he'd make for a good sacrifice.
If someone tries to kill you just push gingerfuck forward and run. I think that's a good plan,
even suggested it to her. She wasn't a fan.

I don't know what she sees in them, especially him. Potter has been doomed from birth so I
guess it makes sense she attached herself to him, she's extremely incapable of turning away a
charity case. But Weasley? Fucking Weasley. He is the most useless human being I have ever
met in my life. My house elves rank higher in society than he does. I'm pretty sure they're in
possession of more intellect than him as well.

February 24 1997

I immediately come to a halt when I step into my room and see Granger in my bed and her
demonic cat laying in her lap. "What the fuck is this?" I ask, tossing my coat on the nearby
chair.

"Crookshanks." She smiles innocently.

"Yes, I know what that thing is but why is it here, in my room?"

She stands up, the furball in her arms and walks over to me. "I just figured with me sleeping
here every night that I should bring him."
"No. Absolutely not."

"Oh come on, he's harmless." She says.

"He's hideous and has tried to kill me."

"You're being dramatic. He wasn't trying to kill you."

"I strongly disagree. The thing laid directly on my face, that's attempted murder by
suffocation. Trust me, I'm very familiar with the tactic."

Granger completely ignores me and sets the thing down on the ground before kissing my
cheek. "I'm going to go take a shower."

"He's not staying!" I shout as she walks off.

The bathroom door shuts and is shortly followed by the sound of the shower turning on. I
look down at the furball by my feet and he just sits there, staring at me. "What the hell are
you looking at?" He lets out a small meow. "You're not staying." I tell him. "The second she's
done with her shower you're out, understood?" He meows again. "I have no fucking idea
what you're saying but I'm going to take that as a yes."

I carefully step past it and walk over to my desk, pulling out the chair and taking a seat. As
I'm reading through my latest stack of reports I hear a meow again. Looking down to my left
I see him right beside me. This thing has terrible attachment issues.

"Go away." I say, waving my hand but he remains planted. I grab a scrap piece of parchment
and crumple it into a tiny ball, holding it up for him to see. "Look, a toy, go get it!" I toss the
ball of paper across the floor and his head turns, watching as it falls to the ground but he still
doesn't move, just turns his head back and stares up at me again. "Whatever, I tried. Just stay
over there and don't touch me." Rolling my eyes and turning my attention back to my work.

Whoever is in charge of writing these reports needs to be replaced. I already have a headache
from the countless spelling errors within the first paragraph. I'm leaning back in my chair,
stretching my arms out to the side when suddenly the bloody thing jumps into my lap.

"You've got to be kidding me." I groan. He looks at me, meows, rubs his head against my
torso and then curls up into a ball in my lap. "You're a lot like your mother." I say. "She
doesn't listen to me either." I can feel a small vibration against my thigh as he purrs. I slowly
lower my hand and lightly pat his head. "I guess you and I have a lot in common too. We
both love being touched by Granger and... well I guess that's it actually." He lifts his head and
slowly blinks at me.

I look over at the bathroom door and listen to hear if the water is still running. Once I know
that it is I turn back to the cat and whisper "You can understand me, can't you?" He stares at
me, blank expression, not a thought in those eyes. "Yeah.. you definitely can." I say,
narrowing my eyes. "You're not fooling me. If I let you stay, you better not pull some shit like
last time. If your hairy arse comes anywhere near my pillow I will transfigure you into
bloody fish and feed you to the grindylows, got it?" This time, his eyes widen a bit. "I knew
it!"

"Knew what?" Granger asks, stepping out of the bathroom as she dries her hair with a towel.

"Oh nothing, nothing at all." I reply.

Her eyes land on crookshanks in my lap, her lips instantly curving up into a smile. "It looks
like the two of you have finally made up."

I look down at him, a smug look on my face and say "You could say we came to.. an
understanding."

"Good." She says, walking over and kissing me. "I'm glad you two can finally get along."

Returning my gaze to the cat I whisper "I meant it hairball, get near my face? You. Fish.
Grindylow."
 Chapter 49

March 10 1997

I'm on my way to the room of requirement to work on the stupid cabinet when I hear Potter
call my name from behind. Turning, I see him marching his self righteous arse right towards
me, his hands fisted into a ball at his sides.

"Scarhead, what an unpleasant surprise."

"What's going on with you and Ginny?!" He yells.

"Ginny?"

"Yeah, you know, Ron's little sister?" He says. "I've noticed you two hanging out a lot and
she's always sitting with you during breakfast. Are you two-"

"I'm going to stop you right there." I say, raising my hand to silence him. "Gods, are you
really that thick in the head? There is nothing going on between Weaslette and I."

"I don't believe you."

"I really don't care if you do."

"Then why has she been acting so strange lately?" He asks.

"You're going to have to define strange Potter."

His eyebrows pull together as he begins listing off several things such as, her face going red
whenever he talks to her. How she runs out of the room anytime he walks in and the way
she's started stuttering if he does manage to get her to talk to him. It's official, they're both
imbeciles.

"Have you ever heard of someone liking you Potter?"

His eyes go wide. "Liking me?" He asks, as if it's a foreign concept. "No.." His entire face
and neck turn a bright shade of red as he shakes his head. "Ginny doesn't.. there's no way
she.."

"I know, who would have ever thought the day would come where someone would show
romantic interest in you? But congratulations," I say, patting his back. "You've managed to
defeat the odds."

Shit, if I knew that all it took to get him to shut up would be to tell him that Weaslette has
feelings for him I would have done so a long time ago. He's much more tolerable when silent.
After a few minutes of staring at him, his jaw on the floor, I remove myself from the area and
continue on my way to the room of requirement.
March 27 1997

It's almost fully mended. Just a few more weeks and this ancient piece of shit should be ready
which means I'm running out of time. Granger's occlumency has reached an acceptable level
but I'm still working with her on it. As for her physical combat skills... I love the woman but
I pray to Godrick that she never finds herself in a position where she has no wand.

Ever since I informed the dark lord of my progress on the cabinet Blaise and Pansy have
started to receive assignments of their own. As we get closer to invading Hogwarts a few
death eaters have started breaking off, attempting to run. Pansy has been put in charge of
tracking a few, when she finds their location she informs me and I'm sent to dispose of them.

Blaise is still a glorified human owl. He collects our mail and delivers it to us but he's very
proud of his work. I see no harm in letting him continue to feel as important as he does. Theo
has been given more work as well. He's assigned a target of his own a week and has been
ordered to shadow me on mine. Our friendship isn't back to normal by any means but it's not
nearly as strained as it was before.

Apparently him and Pansy are getting pretty serious, he even entertained the idea of marrying
her one day. Pansy Nott, what a fucking trip that would be. I'm happy for him though, both of
them. During this time we have to find whatever it is that gives our life meaning, any light we
can manage to find in this dark fucking abyss.

April 11 1997

I've been thinking a lot. I hate it. No matter how much I occlude I can't rid myself of these
thoughts. What am I going to do with Granger? I know she's going to stick with Potter and
Weasley and as much as I hate and have zero trust in them to keep her safe I understand that
it's the best option. It's not like she can come stay with me at the manor but I need to figure
out a way to keep tabs on her.

Letters are off the table, everything will be closely monitored. I'll check in on her as much as
I can and if there ever comes a time where she needs me I will be there immediately but how
am I supposed to find her? Surely they will never remain in one place for long. I need to
figure out a way for her to share her location without being detected.

April 22 1997

Granger doesn't even like wearing jewelry but I don't fucking care, it's the only thing I could
come up with. I'm staring down at the thin silver circle that has a single jade gem on it as I
frustratingly tap my wand against my leg. I considered a ring but that seemed a bit.. much.
Besides, when the day comes where I do give her a ring I don't want it to double as a tracking
device. A bracelet was the next best option.
It's simple, doesn't draw attention and easily accessible should she need to alert me. Now, the
hard part. The locator spell was easy, I could've done that in my sleep but linking it is what's
giving me some trouble. The communication between the stone and my signet ring has been
faulty to say the least.

I've done a few test runs and I keep encountering the same two problems. Either the damn
thing doesn't send an alert at all or there's too big of a lag between them. Every second counts
and I can't afford a delay. I'm fucking exhausted. I'm either being sent off on an assignment,
training Weaslette and Granger, catching up on school work (only gods knows why I continue
to even bother) or working on this stupid bracelet. At this point I can't remember the last time
I've gotten more than an hours worth of sleep.

The bracelet has been a task I work on in the middle of the night down in the common room
while Granger sleeps. Even though it's sole purpose is to act as a tracking device I still want
to surprise her with it, to make it a gift, so until it's perfected she can't see.

"Still haven't figured it out?" Theo asks, joining me on the couch and handing me a cup of
tea. Since I've started spending my nights in the common room I've come to find that Theo
barely sleeps these days as well. Despite my constant suggestion, he refuses to occlude and
rid himself of the burden of being a death eater.

"No." I say, thanking him as I take the drink from him. "The beacon is unreliable, if it does
work there's a forty second delay."

"Have you tried running a diagnostics on it?"

"Yes, several times actually. The first was pretty straightforward, a few of my calculations
were off and the locator spell was interrupting the signal but now when I do it. Here, I'll just
show you." Pointing my wand at the bracelet, blue glowing symbols begin hovering in the air
above it.

Theo leans in, rubbing his eyes and squinting as he examines. "What's that one?" He asks,
pointing to the zigzag shaped symbol. "That one tracks her pulse." I tell him. "It's so I can
know that's she's.." "Still alive." He finishes. I look over at him and nod. He offers me a
sympathetic look and it takes everything in me not to punch him for it but thankfully it
doesn't last long and he returns to the diagnostics in front of us.

April 29 1997

Theo has been helping me every night now with the bracelet. It's helpful to have another set
of eyes and, as daft as he is sometimes, he does know a thing or two. We've made some
progress, the delay has been cut down from forty to twenty-seven seconds but that's still not
good enough. If Granger was in a life or death situation those twenty-seven seconds could
make all the difference, especially if I'm far away.

Working with Theo has also given us some time to catch up outside of assignments, a chance
for us to reconnect. This has all been really hard on him, becoming a death eater was never
something he wanted but, like me, he knew it was inevitable.

His father was a death eater, it's how our families became close in the first place. My father
and his were close, some might even say friends. He doesn't talk about his parents, it's too
hard for him but sometimes he would vent to me when things became too much.

I remember the day his father was killed, we were young but I can still vividly remember the
pain in his eyes when my father sat him down and informed him of the news. I don't know all
the details but what I do know is he was out with Greyback and something went wrong, they
were cornered and when the option came for Greyback to either stay back and help Theo's
father or run, he chose the latter.

It's why Theo hates Greyback and wants nothing more than to see him dead, to kill him. At
the funeral Greyback had the nerve to approach Theo and tell him that if his father was
stronger, smarter, he would still be alive. He was a fucking child who just lost his father and
Greyback still felt the need to say that.

I feel for Theo, as much as I hate my father I'm still glad I didn't have to practically grow up
as an orphan, his mother became mentally absent following his father's death. Theo's uncle
took him in, he's not a bad man but he was never there for him like he should have been. My
father adopted Theo in a way, bought him clothes and his school supplies. In all honesty, he
treated him more like a son than he ever did me. I despised him for a period of time, angry
and jealous that he got to get all the good parts of my father while I had to endure the bad
ones.

I don't feel that way anymore though. If I wasn't raised the way I was then I'm not sure I
would have been able to survive everything I've been going through as of late. It was cruel
and I wasn't deserving of any of it but it's made me into the man I am today, it made me
stronger. I have no problem in doing what is necessary to survive whereas Theo has self-
preservation far down his list.

His main priority has always been to have fun. Shagging girls, especially ones already spoken
for, seemed to be his way of doing so. I guess that's changed though, Pansy seems to have
taken the number one spot. They were an odd pairing at first but the more I think about it the
more they make sense.

Pansy yearns to be loved and to love someone and Theo is someone who is in desperate need
of that. He has a temper but is far more level headed and calm than I will ever be which
serves him immensely when dealing with her shite attitude.

As for Blaise, I don't fucking know. The man has zero game but there's still some hope for
him. If I managed to win the heart of Hermione Granger than surely he can find someone...
one day.

May 7 1997

"Okay, on the count of three press down on it." I instruct. "1... 2... 3."
Theo presses on the stone and immediately a subtle shock is sent from my ring and through
my hand.

"Well?" Theo asks. "Did it work?"

I'm silent, at a loss for words as an overwhelming wave of relief washes over me. Finally. It
finally fucking works.

"Draco, did it work or not?" Theo asks again, walking over to me.

"It worked." I say, still in shock. "It fucking worked." I grab Theo's face and kiss the top of
his head. "You brilliant bastard!" I exclaim, taking the bracelet from his hands.

"Holy shit, so recalibrating it actually worked? Like it instantly sent a signal?"

"Instantly."

"Fucking hell." He brushes his hand through his hair and heads back over to the couch,
falling back onto it. I follow suit and take a seat beside him.

We've been working nonstop on this and now it finally works properly, it's exhilarating and
all I want to do is run up to my room, wake Granger and give it to her but I can't help but take
notice in Theo's shift in mood. "What is it?" I ask. He looks up at me, only for a moment,
then back down at his hands.

"I just..." He lets out a deep breath. "It was fun working on this with you. Stressful and
aggravating but fun. We barely hang out anymore and... I don't know, I miss you mate, that's
all."

I've been a shit friend. I spend all of my free time with Granger. I guess I assumed he would
be fine, seeing as he has Pansy but I guess I was wrong. Plus, the time we do spend together
I'm usually a grade A dick, not that I want to be and he understands that but still.

"Sorry I've been shit lately." I tell him which catches him by surprise, as it should. I don't
apologize. The word sorry is not a word that is often present in my vocabulary.

"It's fine." He assures me. "I know that you've had a lot going on."

"Still, I could've set aside a few minutes to check in on you, see how you were holding up.
You'll always be my brother, you know that right?"

He meets my eyes again, the corner of his mouth lifting up into a half smile. "Yeah, I do."

May 8 1997

"What's this?" Granger asks, a single eyebrow raised as she looks at the box in her hands.

"If you'd just open it you would know."

"You know that I hate when you buy me things Draco. Besides, what's the occasion? Is there
a holiday that I've missed?"

"Granger." I groan, running my hand down my face. "Can you just open the bloody thing?"

She lets out an irritated huff but then lifts the lid, revealing the bracelet. "Draco." She says, a
glint in her eye as she removes it from the box. "It's beautiful." I take the bracelet from her
hands and wrap it around her wrist, clasping it in place.

"I charmed it." I tell her. "If you press down on the stone it will instantly send me an alert,
there's a locator spell on it so that I know where to find you. I don't want you to ever take this
off, okay?"

"Of course but why is it necessary?" She asks, her fingers fiddling with the stone.

"Because, love, once I finish mending the cabinet then everything is going to go to shit. We're
going to get split up so you wearing this provides me with a way to make sure you're safe. If
you ever need me all you have to do is press that. I will always come for you Granger, no
matter what."

"Even if I just need a hug?" A cheeky smirk on her face.

"I'd prefer if you used it for when you're in danger but, yes, even if you just need a hug."

May 30 1997

I finished mending the cabinet. Everything is set to take place in one month.
 Chapter 50

June 5 1997

30 days. 30 days until death eaters invade Hogwarts and I am to execute Dumbledore. 30
days until Granger and I are forced to go our separate ways. It's real, this is all really
happening and I only have myself to blame for it. I'm the one who mended the cabinet, who
provided them with a way to enter school grounds. I'm the one who has already secured the
cooperation of both the muggle and wizard minister.

There's been more talks of Potter lately. Voldemort is obsessed with full purity of the world
but not nearly as obsessed as he is with killing Potter. He knows about Weasley, he knows
about Granger and he has no problem using either of them as a way to get to him. Weasley
can die for all I care, Potter too but I will never let him lay a finger on Granger.

I've told her everything that I know. The horcruxes, cabinet, the day everything is going to
happen, even about Dumbledore. She still doesn't believe that I'll do it, she's wrong. I have no
choice, I have to. If I don't then he'll kill me and someone else will be enlisted to do it. I'll kill
whoever I need to in order to stay alive. I can't very well protect her if I'm dead.

Weaslette is far too excited to get her hands dirty, says she can't wait to bury her knife into a
death eater.

"Just as long as it's not me." I tell her.

"How am I supposed to differentiate?"

"Easy, I'll be the only one not trying to kill you dipshit."

"You're in a mood." She scoffs.

"I'm not in a mood."

"You most certainly are, have been for a few days now. What's got you even more intolerable
than usual?"

I don't respond. Instead, I harshly stab into my eggs with my fork.

"I'm not Hermione you know." She says.

"Really? What a fucking revelation."

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm not Hermione, which means you don't have to pretend
around me." Freckles reaches across the table and grabs my hand, halting the murder of my
eggs. "It's okay to be worried, scared even. It doesn't make you any less of a man. Being
human isn't a weakness Draco."
That's where she's wrong. I can't allow myself to feel any of those things. Am I worried about
Granger? Fuck yeah I am but I can't let it get to me. Just like everything else, I have to lock it
away, secure it behind countless brick walls and never let it out.

Pulling my hand away from hers I say "Please don't touch me again, it was by far the worst
thing I've ever experienced and I've been cruciod."

June 17 1997

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Voldemort has a file on Granger. He knows that she's a muggle-born. He knows where her
parents live. He fucking knows all about her and it's taking everything in me to remain
composed right now. Dolohov is proposing we kidnap her parents, use them as leverage to
lure her out which would eventually get Potter as well.

My jaw is tense and my hand is gripping tightly onto the armrest of my chair. All I want to do
right now is reach across this table and rip Dolohov’s throat out.

"It would be an easy task." Dolohov says. "They're muggles and I highly doubt they will put
up a fight. We get them then we get the girl and then the boy is sure to follow."

Voldemort praises him and immediately signs off on it and since it was Dolohov’s idea he
gets to put together a team and execute the plan himself. I have to tell Granger, she's going to
lose her mind.

June 18 1997

"Granger stop."

"No Draco! I have to go right now! I have to get them out, get them away!" She's screaming,
crying and frantically throwing clothes into that tiny bag of hers. "I can't let anything happen
to them!"

"Granger look at me." My tone stern, grabbing her shoulders. "Nothing is going to happen to
them, okay? We'll figure something out but this, you running out of here, isn't a good idea.
Where would you even take them?"

"I don't.." She shakes her head. "I don't know. Somewhere. Anywhere!"

"Simply moving them out of their current house and into a new one isn't going to be enough.
We need to have a plan and we will but first I need you to calm down. Breathe love."

It takes a while but she's finally settled down. We're laying in bed, her small frame curled up
in my arms as I stroke her back. I don't have to use legilimency to know what she's thinking,
the horrific images that are flooding her mind, they're most likely the same ones I see when it
comes to her.

"I can't lose them Draco." Her voice small, cracking, she's on the verge of tears again.

"I know love, I know."

June 19 1997

I know what needs to be done, I've known the second I heard Dolohov’s plans for them. Their
connection to her is what's useful. If they wanted to just use them as bait they wouldn't wait,
they would have already gotten them but they haven't. They're not going to their house until
early July. It's their knowledge they want, to extract any and all information from them. The
solution is simple, any memory of her needs to be wiped.

June 22 1997

Their passports arrived today. Passports, identification, plane tickets, deed for their house,
everything. I submitted for all of it a few days ago and now that it's here it's time to tell
Granger the plan. She's going to hate it but I hope she has a clear enough head to see that it's
the only way. I hope she doesn't hate me for this.

June 23 1997

"Australia?" She asks, staring down at all of the documents in front of her as she clutches
tightly onto the plane tickets, her hands trembling.

"It's the safest place for them." I explain that Australia is one of the very few places not on
Voldemort's radar at the moment. He's primarily focused on Europe and America for the time
being. Wiping their memories will save them from being any source of information for
Voldemort but they'd still be at risk if they stayed here.

"Why does it say their names are Wendell and Monica Wilkins?"

"It's an alias, a way to fully sever their connection to you. I know this is a lot and seems
extreme but I wouldn't be suggesting this if it wasn't the only way to ensure their safety."

A single tear drops from her eye and onto the ticket and then shortly after several start
streaming down her face. "They'll never be able to remember me, will they?" She asks,
looking up at me. I shake my head. "I don't know love. There's been case studies on reversing
the effects but I haven't heard of any success."

She nods her head slowly, reaching for the passports, smiling down at the photos of her
parents. It's killing me to see her like this, there's so much pain in her eyes. She's losing her
family in the worst way possible. They aren't dying, they're going to live full and happy lives
and will never grieve their daughter because they won't remember they even had one but she
will. She'll remember everything.

I remember seeing a few of her memories when I first started teaching her occlumency. They
seem like wonderful parents, a very loving family, which only makes this harder. If they were
vile people then perhaps it wouldn't hurt her so much but they weren't.

I saw the time when they found out she was a witch. They were confused and shocked which
is fair but they didn't hesitate for a single second before wrapping her up in their arms. They
told her that they always knew she was special and her acceptance letter just further proved
that. They told her that they were so proud of her, that they would love her no matter what.

June 24 1997

She's been quiet ever since I told her the plan which I expected. She's still processing
everything but she has agreed that it's the only option. We're set to go visit them tomorrow.

"I want to be the one to do it." She says.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. They're memories of me anyways, it only feels right that I'm the one to do it."

"Okay. Whatever you want Granger, I'll follow your lead."

June 25 1997

Their house is modest, charming, it looks like an actual home. Sometimes I wish I grew up in
a place like this. The manor always felt so cold to me as a child, it resembled a museum more
than a home. Granger's parents live in a small neighborhood, there's trees in the front, flowers
lining the porch and the house is composed of warm toned bricks.

She's nervous, she barely slept last night. I take her hand in mine and gently squeeze it. "I'm
here Granger, whatever you need." She takes a moment, lets out a deep breath and then steps
up onto the porch, lightly knocking on the door. It swings open and she's immediately greeted
with a tight hug by both her mother and father.

"Hermione! Why didn't you tell us you were coming?" Her mother asks.

Granger fakes her best smile, hiding any sign of sadness or pain. "It was last minute." She
tells them. "Mum, dad, this is Draco."

Her father extends his hand out to me and smiles. "It's nice to meet you Draco."
"You as well Mr. Granger." I smile back, shaking his hand. Her mother opts for a hug, it was
strange at first but I relaxed into it the best I could.

"We've heard so much about you." She tells me. "Please, come in."

Granger walks in first and I follow behind, closing the door and wiping off my shoes once
I'm inside. We all take a seat in their living room, her mother hurrying to the kitchen to grab a
pot of tea for us.

"You know Draco, you're even more handsome than Hermione had said." Her mother
gushes.

"Mum." Granger groans, clearly embarrassed. I look over at her and smirk, lightly pinching
her side which makes her wiggle in her seat and let out a small giggle. I've missed the sound
of her laugh, it feels like it's been forever since I've heard it.

Her mother hands me a cup of tea and I thank her before taking a sip.

"You must be from a pureblood family." Her father says which catches me off guard. My
surprised face makes him laugh. "I might not have magical abilities like you two but I have
done my fair share of research." He says proudly.

I clear my throat before speaking. "Yes sir, my family is of pure blood."

"I knew it!" He celebrates by clapping his hands together. "I could tell by the way you're
dressed and the way you carry yourself. Very proper lot you all are."

I let out a soft chuckle. "Yes well, we're taught proper etiquette at a very young age."

"When are you ever allowed to just be a kid though?" He asks. This question hits me hard.
Truth is, I wasn't. I mean I was a kid and had a few toys but it was a very isolating childhood,
until Theo came along, but even then there was never a time where we were allowed to run
around outside and get grass stains on our clothes or play in the dirt like the other kids. We
attended galas and had tea with adults on the weekend.

"Draco?" Granger lightly taps my knee, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Sorry." I apologize, returning my attention to her father. "I guess you could say it wasn't a
traditional childhood but it was alright."

He and I talk for a little bit more, Granger just stares at me and smiles. This is how new years
was supposed to go. It was meant to be spent here, with her parents. This is nice getting to
know them and see how happy she is being with them but that happiness quickly fades when
her mom asks "So what brought you here today sweetie? I thought school wasn't out for a
few more days."

I place my hand on her thigh, squeezing it to let her know that I'm right here, that everything
is going to be alright.

"I just wanted to see you both is all." She chokes out. "I missed you."
"Darling." A warm smile on her father's face. "We missed you too." Both of her parents get
up from their seat and close the distance, hugging her again. Her eyes are filling with tears
but she swallows them back as they pull away.

Mr. Granger and I are in the kitchen, preparing the table for lunch while she and her mother
are outside in the garden. It looks just like it did when she was kid, a few of the trees are
taller now but other than that it's the exact same.

"She's great." Her father says, smiling as he looks out the window at the two of them.

"Yeah, she is."

"She talks about you a lot you know." He tells me. I shouldn't be surprised to hear this but I
am. It feels like we only just started consistently being on good terms. Fifth year was a shit
show to say the least and this one has had it's troubles as well. "I have to admit that I was
worried at first." He continues. "The first time she told us about you I knew your last name
sounded familiar." Shit.

"I don't mean to come off rude by any means but your father has quite the reputation. I know
in your world I'm considered a dumb muggle but with my daughter being a witch I've taken it
upon myself to learn as much as I could. Your father is not very fond of my kind, my
daughter's either for the matter."

I gulp, hard. My grip tightening onto the plate in my hand.

"I trust my daughter's judgement in character and from what I've seen so far you don't seem
anything like your father." If you only knew. "I haven't seen Hermione this happy in awhile
so I just wanted to thank you."

"Thank me?" I ask.

"Yes, for being the reason behind that smile of hers. I see the way you look at her, how your
hand is always quick to find its way to her back, it's very clear how much you love her and
want to keep her safe."

I nod. "I'd do anything for her, sir."

He places his hand on my shoulder and smiles. "I know you would."

I know he's a muggle and it would be impossible for him to see into my head right now but
for some reason I lock down my occlumency even more, sealing every crack. It's the way he's
looking at me, it feels like he can see right through me, like he knows something is going on.

"Take care of my girl for me." He says.

"Sir?"

He shakes his head, telling me to just stay quiet right now. "Make sure she always knows that
she is loved. Will you do that for me?"
"I will."

Granger and her mother rejoin us in the kitchen, everyone takes a seat at the table, her father
flashing me a wink before asking his wife to hand him the salad.

I don't know how but I think he knows. Whether or not he's aware of the full extent I couldn't
say but regardless he knows we aren't just here because Granger missed them and couldn't
wait a few more days until school let out.

Lunch was filled with laughter, her parents telling me stories about her as a child. She would
sink down into her seat whenever they would tell, what she classified as, an embarrassing
story while I sat there drinking in every minute of it.

She was hesitant about letting herself have the day with them before wiping their memories,
she was worried that it would be too painful but sitting here and watching them all I can tell
she's happy that we did. She's the perfect balance of both her mother and father.

Granger has her mother's grace and eyes and she has her father's warm smile and laugh.
They're lovely people, I can see why Granger is the way she is.

Her parents are waiting for us in the living room while we finish cleaning off the table. It's
time and her nerves have quickly reappeared. I place the last plate into the sink and grab her
hands.

"Are you sure you still want to be the one to do it?" I ask.

She looks over at her parents and then back at me. "Yes."

"Okay, I can wait in here."

"No. I want you with me."

"Okay love."

"Are you coming darling? We just found an old photo album of yours!" Her mother calls out
from the other room.

"Be right there mum." Her voice trembles. She clutches onto my hand and takes a few deep
breaths. Once she's ready I follow her into the living room. Her parents are huddled together
on the couch, flipping through the album of baby photos.

We're stood directly behind them as Granger raises her wand, her entire arm shaking. I place
my hand over hers to steady it and whisper "Together?" She nods and takes one last look at
them, memorizing everything she can before saying "Obliviate."

I can feel her magic coursing up my arm and throughout the rest of my body, it's intense and
full of sorrow. Our hands slowly turn and her parents shoulder's stiffen slightly as their
memories of her are being extracted. It takes a few minutes before everything is wiped. Her
parents have a blank expression on their face, their bodies motionless. Granger chokes back
her tears as we exit the house.
"Are you okay?" I ask once we're outside.

She's using all of her strength to not break down right now, to remain strong, I wish she
wouldn't. She needs to allow herself to feel these emotions but she refuses, at least for right
now. "We need to go." She says, gesturing towards my coat pocket.

I pull out the portkey and she clutches tightly onto my arm.

Along with their new identifications, tickets and house I knew they wouldn't be able to just
sit around all day for the rest of their lives. I set up a place for them to work and also bought
a portkey so that Granger and I could go and make sure everything is in place.

We're now stood on a sidewalk in Australia, a line of shops before us.

"It's right over here." I say, taking her hand and leading her down the street, stopping just
outside a bookstore. "This is it." I reach for the door and hold it open for her.

Her eyes are scanning every inch of the place as she steps inside, her fingers grazing over the
bindings of each book that line the wall.

"You got them jobs at a bookstore?" She asks.

"No Granger." I say, stepping over to her. "I bought them a bookstore. They own this place."

"I - I don't understand. How did you buy them a bookstore?"

"With money."

"Well, yes, of course but how did you manage to buy them one in Australia? And why?"

"My family has connections here, it was fairly simple. As for the why, that too is simple.
Even though they aren't aware of it they'll always have a piece of you. Have you noticed what
books are on the shelves?" I ask.

Her eyebrows pull together as she turns to face the wall, reading over a few of the titles.
"These are all of my favorites."

"Every book in here is a reflection of who you are Granger. What makes you smile, cry,
laugh, everything. Your parents may not have any memory of you but every day they come in
for work they'll be surrounded by you. I know it's not the same but-"

"I love you." She says, cutting me off. "I love you and I love this and I just.." She's crying,
the weight of everything finally breaking her. I grab her by the waist and pull her into me, her
arms clutching onto me like I'm the only thing keeping her from drowning. "This is too
much, everything you've done is too much and I just- I don't know how to thank you."

"There's no need to thank me Granger. I told you, I'd do anything for you. I know this is hard
and no one can ever replace your parents but I want you to remember that you're not alone,
you have me. I'm right here and I'm never going to leave you."
 Chapter 51
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

June 29 1997

"How will I find you afterwards?" Granger asks.

"You won't." Her head shoots up, ready to argue but I speak before she can. "I mean it
Granger. You go with Potter and Weasley and stay put. I'll come find you when I can."

"When will that be?"

"I don't know."

She's been a mess all day and rightfully so, she just lost her parents and now she feels like
she's losing me as well. None of this is ideal, in a perfect world I'd take her and run. Start a
new life somewhere else – amongst the muggles even, if that's what it took.

This isn't a perfect world though. It's dark, twisted and most of all, utterly unfair.

June 30 1997

It took nearly an hour for me to pry Granger's arms off of me. I kept having to remind her that
this isn't the last time she's going to see me, that it just might be a little until I'm able to go to
her. The plan is simple - get the death eaters in, execute Dumbledore and reconvene at the
manor. As for Granger, she is to round Weasley and Potter and get the fuck out of here.
Voldemort won't be on the premises but if someone like my aunt Bella saw any of them she
wouldn't hesitate to call for him.

Blaise and Pansy left this morning, Theo is to stay behind with me. We've just entered the
room of requirement, he's looking around as we walk through, touching everything within an
arms reach. "I just can't believe I've never been in here before." He says. "This would have
been a great hookup spot."

"Focus Theo."

He practically runs right into me as I stop in front of the cabinet. I send him a quick glare
over my shoulder before pulling the blanket off.

"Once I open the passageway I have to leave. You'll stay behind until they all get through,
understood?"

He nods. I take out my wand, close my eyes and focus as I mutter the enchantment. The
handle slowly turns, the door creaking open as thick black smoke begins to pool out. I say
nothing to Theo as I move past him, a strong gust of wind hitting my back as I walk away.

As I'm climbing my way up the astronomy tower, my fingers wrapped tightly around my
wand, I take this time to lock down my occlumency even more. If there's anything I know for
sure about Dumbledore it's that he will try to get in my head, to convince me that I don't have
to do this, that I'm a good man - a lie that would work on most but I'm not one of them.

lock the emotions away, any guilt or shame placed securely in a box.

place box in hole, lay cement on top.

lay brick after brick, build wall after wall.

"Good evening Draco." His tone casual, like greeting an old friend. "What brings you here on
this fine evening?"

"You'll have to forgive me headmaster, I'm afraid I'm not one for small talk." My wand at the
ready in my right hand while my left hovers over my pocket where my knife is stowed.

"Draco, you are no assassin."

"There's enough blood on my hands to argue that one, sir. If you don't mind, spare me the
speech, it won't make a difference and is an awful waste of my time and yours."

"Very well." He sighs, his eyes shifting just past my right shoulder. He's looking at something
- no, someone. My left hand retrieves the knife as I turn on my heels, my forearm pushing
against the body and slamming it back into the wall, my blade against his neck.

"Snape, I should have figured." I sneer. "My father was right about you, untrustworthy and
weak."

"Mr. Malfoy," He drawls in his usual aggravating monotone voice. "You do not have to be
this person. You have the ability to be more than the obedient soldier your father raised."

"And become what? Like you?" I ask. "A spineless traitor still sulking over a dead woman
who never wanted you. It's been over a decade professor, it's pathetic." A nerve was hit with
that one, his normally impassive expression broken by a subtle twitch of the eyebrow.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Dumbledore raise his wand. Keeping my hold on Snape, I
disarm him. Dumbledore's sympathetic look remains, unphased by the action. With his hands
clasped in front of him, he takes a cautious step towards me and says "It's okay to be scared,
Draco."

"I assure you I'm not scared of either of you."

"Of course not, I never believed you were." Dumbledore says. "In fact, I believe there's very
little that do scare you. Being scared was never a luxury you were afforded, was it Draco?" I
don't respond. "You've been occluding." He continues. "Ridding yourself of all feelings,
emotions but not when it comes to her, correct?"
A small crack in my occlumency - my jaw tensing as a piece of her slips out from her box.

Granger. no.

Hundreds of bricks are dropped down, walls after walls flying up - my knife digging further
into Snape's neck as my jaw releases.

Dumbledore begins speaking again. "You're scared for her, it's the only thing you struggle to
suppress. The thought of losing her, of not being able to protect her, of her dying."

"Your pairing with her on the research paper was not by chance, Mr. Malfoy." Snape adds.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Your topic was not by chance either." He continues, ignoring my question. "We knew of
your.. fascination for her. It's a heartwarming story, the two of you."

"I urge you to get to the point already." I snarl.

"The point is." Dumbledore says, taking another step forward. "All of this." His hands
gesturing between the three of us. "Is of no surprise. I was aware of the task you've been
assigned far before you ever were. Your mother teaching you occlumency was due to Snape's
suggestion. Your partnership with miss Granger was done with reason as well. Love works
wonders, it can puncture through even the toughest. You've done your part well Draco but
now you need to step aside."

"Step aside? What are you-" A forceful pressure against my chest causes me to stumble
backwards. Snape turns, his wand raising and then everything begins playing before me in
slow motion. A burst of light escapes the tip of his wand, soaring through the air and crashing
into Dumbledore. His arms swing as he falls back and off the edge of the astronomy tower.

"What the fuck did you just do?" I shout, lunging towards Snape, grabbing him by the throat.
"I should fucking kill you, that was my task to do."

"Remove your hand from me, Mr. Malfoy." He commands.

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on!"

"Everything will make sense in time but right now your task is completed, Dumbledore is
dead. It's time for us to go."

Before I can argue further Bella's voice dances in the air. Turning, I see her and the rest of the
death eaters walking over to us. "What do we have here Draco?" she asks. I look up at Snape,
unsure of what to say. I have no idea what's going on, none of this makes any fucking sense
but there's something in his eyes telling me that I need to trust him.

I step back, removing my hand from his neck. "Nothing." I tell her. "It's done. Dumbledore is
dead."
She lets out a high pitched squeal, rushing over to the edge to look down and see his dead
body for herself. Once she does another squeal of excitement escapes her as her hand flies up,
casting the dark mark in the sky. Theo steps out from behind Greyback and approaches me,
asking me if I'm alright.

"Fine." I tell him. "Let's go, we're to report to the manor."

As we're walking through the castle Bella takes it upon herself to break as many things as she
can. The sight of the great hall being destroyed caused Theo to freeze. "Come on mate." I say,
grabbing his arm. "We don't have time for you to sulk."

We're just about to exit the school and catch up with the others when three prefects step in
front of Theo and I. "I knew it was you in the photos in the Daily Prophet Malfoy." Inglebee
says. This fucking git again? "A death eater just like your father, what a surprise." He adds,
spitting on my shoe.

I take a step forward, closing the gap between us and drive my knife into his abdomen. I rip
his prefects pin from his robe before removing my knife, his body collapsing down to the
ground. Kneeling down, I take the pin and place it over his eye, slamming my fist down onto
it so that it lodges in.

Standing, I look over at the other two students, their eyes bulging out of their heads and jaws
on the floor as they stare at their now dead friend. "Right." I say, wiping the blood off the
blade. "Would either of you like to join him?" Neither answer. I take a step forward and they
immediately run off.

"That was a bit unnecessary, don't you think?" Theo asks as we continue on our way.

"He spit on my shoe, do you know how expensive these are? They're dragon hide Theo,
dragon hide!"

July 3 1997

Everything is fairly normal still. The news of Dumbledore's death was celebrated for a total
of an hour before we were sent back to our regular duties. Pansy and Blaise were already
settled by the time Theo and I arrived that night. I haven't told any of them about what really
happened. There's something going on but right now I can't be bothered to try and figure it
out.

I'm trying to not worry about Granger too much. There haven't been any sightings of her,
Potter or Weasley which is good and I can feel the light tempo of her pulse against my finger
which means she's still alive. Weasley better not lay a single finger on her or I'll turn him into
Voldemort myself.

Finding any time to go check in on her has become impossible. I've been assigned, at
minimum, three targets a day and I'm to oversee everyone else's as well. This job blows, I
don't even get paid. All of this and for what? So a bunch of unhygienic death eaters can
 invade my house and eat all of my food? The idea of killing them all has crossed my mind at
least a hundred times over the past three days, Greyback is first. He sheds everywhere, worse
than Granger's bloody cat does.

At least I'm being sent to Berlin tomorrow, I'll be stationed there for a month so I'll be able to
get some time away from these incompetent morons. I chose Theo to join me, Pansy nearly
ripped my head off for it. Whatever, she'll live.

July 18 1997

"The rules are simple really," I say as I walk back and forth in front of the man, twirling my
knife in my hand. "You move or make even the slightest sound, you die. I don't see where
you're having trouble understanding."

"Please," He whimpers. "I don't even know what I did." Gods I hate it when they beg, it's
extremely pathetic. If you know you're going to die then at least do so with some of your
dignity still in tact. "If you would just tell me why you're doing this then perhaps I could-"
Whatever he was about to say will forever be a mystery seeing as he's now laying on the
floor, choking on his own blood.

"Someone is bad at following rules." I tut, wiping the blood off my blade with his shirt.

I've just stepped out of the man's house when my ring sends a subtle shock through my hand,
stopping me in my tracks. I stare down at the ring, wondering if it was a real alert or if I just
imagined it and then another shock and another and three more.

Granger.

Chapter End Notes

I know, I know. I'm sorry this was shorter but I promise the next few chapters will be on
the longer side! Consider this a sort of transition chapter. Also, I wanted to take the time
to thank you for reading my story. Reading your comments and hearing how much you
enjoy it means the world to me. This is a story I had been planning out for awhile so
seeing it come to life and have others enjoy it is everything.
As for the next chapter, if I don't have another up by tonight then you can expect AT
LEAST two new chapters tomorrow ;)
 Chapter 52

I haven't a clue where I am but by the looks of it I'm somewhere in London which explains
why I feel a bit off kilter. Apparating from Berlin to London on a few hours of sleep should
knock me on my arse but the adrenaline and rage coursing throughout my body is enough to
counter the exhaustion.

I'm staring at, what appears to be, muggle housing. As confused as I am right now I'm just
glad that I didn't apparate straight into a lifeless Granger on the floor but this still doesn't
mean she's okay. I approach the black metal fencing and notice the slightest glimmer when
the sun peaks out from behind the cloud. There's a ward on this building.

I take out my wand and immediately begin dissecting it. I'll give props to whoever put these
in place, there were a few tricky ones and a rather nasty beheading hex but regardless of any
of these wards and their complexities it takes me no more than a minute to dismantle them
all, including the fidelius charm. It's clear that whoever occupies this place has gone to great
measures to keep it from being found - a worrying revelation.

Wasting no more time, I march straight up with my wand pointed at the door. "Bombarda!"
The door blows apart, wooden pieces flying everywhere. Stealth is of no concern to me at
this time. I flick my wrist up slightly, every knife on me rising up into the air. Charging
inside, I break down the first door to my left - empty.

"Granger!" I shout as I make my way down the hallway. No response. There's another door
on my right, my boot slams into the center, breaking it off its hinges - empty. There's a faint
sound of footsteps coming from the room at the end of the hallway. Heading straight towards
the source, I enter the room and immediately grab onto the back of the individual's neck and
slam them down onto the floor.

"Bloody hell! What the fuck is this?!" A familiar agitating voice yells.

"Where the fuck is she Potter?" My voice a low deep growl.

"Who?!"

"Granger!"

"Why would I tell you?"

I flip him over so that he's on his back, his eyes go wide as he stares at the knives floating in
the air above me. "If you don't tell me where she is-"

"What? You'll kill me?" He asks.

A smirk creeps its way onto my face. "Don't tempt me with a good time, Potter."
"You wouldn't do it." He challenges. I'm just about to prove him wrong when I hear her say
my name. My hands relinquish their hold on Potter, my knives fall to the ground and I shoot
up, running straight over to her.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" I'm frantically inspecting every inch of her body to make
sure that everything is where it should be. Two arms. Two legs. One mop of curls. Two
beautiful brown eyes. Everything seems to be in tact, not a single hair misplaced. "You look
okay. What's going on love, what happened? Did they hurt you? Did Weasley touch you? I'll
fucking kill him."

I step around her, ready to search every room in this house until I locate the slimy red headed
bastard but she pulls me back by my arm.

"Draco no, look at me, I'm fine." She assures me.

"But I got an alert?"

Her cheeks flush as she attempts to lower her head but I grab her chin and lift it back up for
her to meet my eyes.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I just.. I missed you and wanted a hug." She sheepishly admits.

My eyebrow quirks as I stare at her. "You had me apparate all the way from fucking Berlin,
blast down a door and assault Potter for... a hug?" She nervously nods. "You are quite literally
going to kill me one of these days Granger."

"I'm sorry." She whispers. "In my defense, I didn't know you were that far away."

I let out a deep sigh and roll my eyes. "Well, I already came all this way so, come on." Her
arms snake around torso and I hold her small frame closely to my body. I'm kissing the top of
her head when I feel a hex hit the center of my back. There's a sharp sting which is then
followed by every muscle tensing and I fall to the ground. A muffled Granger yelling for
them to stop is the last thing I hear before my vision goes black.

When I wake and manage to open my eyes I instantly begin examining my surroundings. It
appears that I'm still in the same house just on a different level, underground. The walls are
made up of exposed stone and the only source of light is a single bulb dangling from the
ceiling.

Charming.

"Good, you're awake." A male voice chimes from behind me. I go to turn my head to match a
face to the voice but find that my range of motion is constricted. "Careful." He warns. "The
rope is charmed to tighten each time you move."

Purely out of curiosity, I move my head again and just like the man had said, the rope
squeezes down on my neck. Impressive, I'll have to make sure to ask him for the details on
this one. It appears my neck isn't the only thing that's bound, both of my ankles are tied to the
legs of the chair I'm sat in, my hands tied behind and there's also one wrapped around my
torso.

"You'll have to forgive me for the excessiveness." The man says, finally coming into view.
He's an older gentleman, most likely in his late 30s, brown hair and a sad excuse of a
mustache. "You don't recognize me?"

"Should I?"

The corner of his mouth tugs up slightly. "Well, I was your defense against the dark arts
professor once."

"Ah, yes, Professor Lupin." I say, slowly remembering. "You're the man who turns into a
feral dog." He winces slightly at the comment, gods everyone is so bloody sensitive.

He moves on, paying no mind to my less than kind description of his condition. "I hope the
ropes aren't too uncomfortable."

"It's not my first time being tied up." I shrug nonchalantly, relaxing back into the chair. "You
could've gone tighter honestly."

Lupin nods his head and offers a tight smile. "I want you to know that I trust Hermione's
judgement when choosing what sort she surrounds herself with but your reputation has me
worried." He goes on to tell me that he is very aware of my involvement and ranking within
the death eaters, the people I've killed and lastly Dumbledore's death.

"Unfortunately, I can't take credit for that particular death." I tell him. He seems intrigued but
also extremely skeptical. "You don't trust me." I say. "A wise choice admittedly."

"I'm to believe that you had no part in Albus Dumbledore's death?"

"That's not what I said, I simply stated that I couldn't take credit for his death." He's still
looking at me like I'm speaking a different language. I let out an irritated groan before
explaining further. "I would've killed him, it was my job to do so but someone else beat me to
it. Was I up there when he died? Yes. But I was not the one who took his life. Are you
following or do I need to speak slower?"

Lupin is unamused by my patronizing tone but remains professional as he continues his little
interrogation. "Who was the one who killed him then?"

"An old colleague of yours actually. Never smiles, monotone voice, extremely greasy hair
that sticks to his face."

"Severus?" He asks shocked.

"It was the greasy hair that gave him away, wasn't it? I swear I don't think that man has ever
touched a bottle of shampoo in his life."

"Mr. Malfoy, I need you to look me in the eyes and swear that what you're saying is true.
Severus Snape is the one who killed Albus Dumbledore?" His tone is far too serious right
now and he's also way too close to my face, I can smell the dog food on his breath but
nevertheless I entertain his request and look him directly in the eyes.

"Yes. Severus Snape killed Albus Dumbledore that night in the astronomy tower, I swear it."

He remains a few inches from my face for what feels like an eternity, staring and studying to
see if I'm being genuine. I just continue to look back at him with an impassive expression.
This is extremely boring and not at all productive.

He must've gotten what he wanted because he finally backs away and says "I'll have my
people look into it." People? What people does he have? Some other fur friends that he likes
to meet up with once in a full moon?

Lupin walks behind me as he continues talking. "Like I said, I trust Hermione's judge in
character but you're still a death eater, a rather high ranking one at that. Which means you
must have a decent amount of knowledge that could help us immensely."

I hear the sound of knives sharpening and it's enough to warm my cold heart. What a
delicious tune two blades make when gliding against one another, I feel right at home now.
He steps back in front of me, holding two of my knives. "Good choices." I commend. "Those
are my favorites as well. They're best for cutting through cartilage, barely any resistance."

The man looks horrified. "What? No. I'm not going to use these on you."

What little trace of happiness that was on my face has quickly dissipated. "Shame. I was just
getting excited."

"I ran a diagnostics on them to check for any magical properties, signs of poison, tracker,
anything but I was surprised to find nothing of the sort." He tells me. "These are just normal
muggle knives."

"Yes." I sigh. "They're rather mundane but I have found with just the right amount of
creativity they can be a whole lot of fun."

"I see." He says, placing them down on the table. "I'm not very familiar with the sort so I'll
just stick with using my wand, if you don't mind?"

"Not at all. What's your course of action here, professor?"

"I'm going to use a variation of different hexes, nothing that will kill you but the amount of
pain will have you wishing it would. I wanted to remind you that the more you struggle the
tighter the bindings will become."

"Finally." I exhale with extreme relief. "Someone who knows how to have a little fun." The
corner of my mouth pulling up into a smirk. "I give the torture threat a solid seven out of ten
professor. If I was a frail human like Weasley it would've been a ten but alas, and thank
merlin, I'm not. I do feel bad though."

His eyebrow quirks and head cocks. "For what?"

"This entire set up is spectacular, just the right amount of creepy and intimidating. The single
hanging bulb is what really pulls it together, but I'm afraid it's a waste. You didn't need to do
all of this to get information out of me, I'll just tell you. Besides, it would've never worked.
I've been tortured before professor, hours of back to back crucio and I never once cracked.
You can still try your little pain session out on me if you'd like and I can give you feedback, I
don't need to be back in Berlin for another hour or so."

"I don't understand." He says with the same skeptical look from earlier.

"You have an awfully hard time grasping information." I ridicule. "Should I stick to shorter
sentences? Would that make it easier for you?"

"Why would you willingly provide us with information and most importantly, how am I
supposed to believe that what you say is reliable?" He asks. "You're the one who said it was
wise to not trust you."

"And I still stand by that but not because I'm a liar, I'm just in general not someone you
should trust. I'm an incredibly selfish person with no moral compass."

"You aren't helping your case here Mr. Malfoy."

"I didn't realize I was on trial."

This man looks like he's ready to slap me and you know what, I hope he does. He looks like
he's ready to go full werewolf on me right now and it's exhilarating, I've never fought a
werewolf before. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm going to get to today either because Granger
storms in, instantly demanding that Lupin release me.

"This is barbaric!" She shouts. "He is not a prisoner, stop treating him like one!" Gods she is
so sexy, I love when she gets all riled up.

"Hermione, I know you're friends with the boy but how do you know we can trust him not to
turn on us?" Lupin asks. "He's a death eater, his loyalty lies with Voldemort, not us."

"You're wrong." Granger says.

"I'm very positive he's a death eater, the mark on his forearm is enough proof."

She shakes her head. "No, not about that, about him being my friend. He's not my friend." No
fucking way she's about to really do this. "He's my boyfriend." She proudly states. Holy shit,
I guess she really is doing this. "Draco Malfoy is my boyfriend and I love him."

Lupin is staring at her, stunned and at a loss for words. I'm staring at her like she's the most
incredible thing I've ever seen, I'm also undressing her with my eyes and thinking about my
face between her legs. I have absolutely no shame if Lupin notices that I'm hard right now,
that's my woman and she's claiming me, openly and proudly.

They continue conversing about me as if I'm not right here but I don't mind, this is the most
entertaining thing I've witnessed in a long time. He's telling her that regardless of her feelings
for me that they still need to be careful to believe that I wouldn't, in simple terms, fuck them
over. Granger did not respond well to this.

"If I may." I chime in, both stop mid sentence and look over at me. "This has been very fun
and a nice break from my usual escapades but I do need to get going soon."

"Release him right now Lupin." Granger commands. Lupin doesn't move, just stares at her,
still reluctant to have any faith in me. He just continues to prove how smart of a man he is but
I'm growing tired of this and my back hurts. "Lupin!" She shouts at him but he still doesn't
break.

"It's alright love." I tell her but she ignores me and continues arguing with him, she even
threw in a few threats which made me very proud. While the two of them bickered I got to
work on the ropes, the charm itself was far too easy to break. A quick nonverbal counter spell
and the ropes were cut through and I was free.

I walk over to Granger and gently grab her shoulders. "As much as I enjoy hearing you spew
several threats, it isn't needed."

"No Draco he doesn't- wait- how did you get out?"

Both Granger and Lupin look at me like I'm a damn ghost.

"What's with the weird faces?" I ask.

"I can't believe it." Lupin says. "You could've broken free at any point, couldn't you have?" I
offer him a casual nod. "Why didn't you?"

"It was a nice change of pace to be the one in the seat." I shrug. "Now, do you want your
information or not?"

-*-

Granger and I have been sitting, listening as Potter and Weasley throw absolute fits for over
thirty minutes now. Most of it involved them asking how she could be so insane to date
someone like me which was then followed by her telling them that they know nothing about
me.

"Who do you think wrote those notes on occlumency for you Harry?" She asks. "How do you
think I knew about the horcruxes and how many there were or about the cabinet and the death
eaters coming to Hogwarts?" This causes both of the morons to go silent. "That's right, it was
Draco. He was the one who told me all of that, you don't honestly believe I just randomly
figured it all out on my own do you? Draco is the one who warned me about my parents, who
got them safely out and set them up in Australia. He may not be a saint and yes he is a death
eater but there's more to him. You have no idea what it's like being in his position!"

Potter shakes his head, his eyebrows knitting together. "This is a lot Hermione and I'm having
a hard time processing this. I'm glad that he was able to help your parents but he killed
Dumbledore."
"How many times do I have to say that I wasn't the one who killed him?" I groan. "It's cruel
of you all to keep reminding me of my failure."

Weasley turns to Granger and says "Mione you can't be serious. This man is completely
insane!"

"It must be frustrating Weaslebee." I say. "Knowing that you're a complete nonentity,
especially when compared to both Granger and Potter."

"I'm going to fucking kill you Malfoy." He snarls.

"I really wish people would stop teasing me with such empty threats." I sigh, leaning back
into the couch and turning to Granger. "Love, I really must get going."

She places her hand on my thigh, squeezes it tightly and nods. "Okay, will you come back?
We could really use your help on figuring out what our next steps should be. I know they
aren't acting like it but I know that Harry and Ron agree that your insight will be highly
beneficial."

"I suppose I can stop by in a weeks time."

Potter and Weasley are busy pouting in the corner while Granger walks me out. "Thank you
for coming." She says. "I'm sorry for dragging you out here and for Lupin and for Harry and
Ron and, well, all of it I guess."

"Don't apologize, I gave you that bracelet so that you could call for me whenever you need
me and I did technically say you could use it even if you just wanted a hug." I cup her cheek
and pull her into me, kissing her for the first time since I've gotten here. "I will always come
for you Granger, no matter what."
 Chapter 53

July 25 1997

Weasley has been staring me down ever since I arrived. He's just sat there in the corner with
his arms crossed as he plays out several different ways he's going to kill me in his head.

"Is there something you'd like to say, Weaslebee?"

He instantly jumps up to his feet, his lip curling as he says "I want you to stay away from
Hermione."

"Are you her father?" I ask.

"No."

"Her mother?"

"Obviously not."

"Then you have no authority to declare such things." I tell him, returning my attention to
today's copy of the Daily Prophet.

"You don't deserve her Malfoy."

Raising a brow, I look back up at him. "And you do?" I quip. I neatly fold the paper, place it
beside me on the couch and stand. He's not as short as Potter but I still have to lower my head
to meet his glare. "In what world do you think Granger would ever disrespect herself enough
to see you as anything other than an unfortunate mistake? The only reason you're in her life is
because you and Potter were a package deal."

His entire face is now the same shade as his hair but he doesn't respond.

"You aren't someone who possesses much intellect but even in that empty head of yours you
know that if it came down to her choosing between either you or Potter she'd go with the
latter. You would never be able to make her happy Weasley. In fact, the best thing you could
do for her is cease to exist. You're more of a liability than anything."

Weasley greatly resembles a large child when he's angry, I'm waiting for him to start babbling
like one too but he doesn't. For once he actually backs his rage with physical action, swinging
his fist towards my face.

Snatching his wrist, I twist it back and grasp his throat with my free hand. "Seems I've hit a
rather sensitive spot." I smirk. "Listen to me very closely Weasley, even if one of your many
scenarios where you kill me were to somehow come true you would still have no chance with
her. If I see you so much as look at Granger in any way other than platonic I will rip your
throat out."
"Go to hell Malfoy!" He manages to secrete just enough saliva to spit in my face. Why the
fuck do these pinheads keep turning to their bodily fluids as a fighting strategy?

Lifting him up by his neck, I slam his body down onto the ground. I remove the knife from
my thigh holster and press the tip against the middle of his abdomen.

"You wouldn't kill me." He says far too confidently.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I scoff, irritated by the false accusation. "I would
most certainly kill you and I wouldn't lose a second of sleep over it."

"Hermione would never forgive you."

"I'd argue that she'd thank me.. eventually. She'd come to terms with the fact that it was for
the best."

My hand presses forward, the blade just breaking the surface of his skin, when I feel a pair of
hands yanking at my arms.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Malfoy?" Potter scolds.

"Making the world a better place."

Weasley let's out a high pitched wail as I break through another layer of skin while Potter
continues his pitiful attempt of pulling me off. His efforts are equivalent to someone
punching a brick wall and expecting to make a dent.

"What is going on in here?" Granger shouts. "Draco." She gasps. "What are you doing?"

"Hello beautiful." I smile up at her. "Give me a moment would you? I'm preparing an early
birthday present for you."

"Draco.."

"You said you don't like me spending money on you and disposing of Weasley doesn't cost
me a single sickle, I thought you'd appreciate my thoughtfulness."

"Mione do something!" Potter screams as he realizes he has a better chance at seeing his
parents again than ripping me off of Weasley.

"Draco." Her voice is soft, soothing, a beautiful melody in my ear as she crouches down
beside me - her eyes level with mine. She gently places her right hand on my shoulder and
says "Draco, look at me." Her left hand touches just above my knee, slowly trailing up my
thigh.

This fucking witch knows exactly what she's doing.

I shift my gaze over to her, willingly falling under her spell as her hand grazes up my side
and down my arm until she reaches my hand that's gripping the knife.
"Let go, Draco."

Just like that, my fingers unwrap from the handle and the knife falls into her palm. "Other
hand too Draco." She tells me.

"But his neck feels so good in my hand. Look, it fits perfectly, like it was made just for this."

"Other. hand."

I roll my eyes, click my tongue on the roof of my mouth and release my hold on his throat.
Once I get up and Potter helps Weasley to his feet he attempts to lung forward at me but
Granger steps in front of me like my own personal body guard, unnecessary but cute.

"Stop it Ron! What has gotten into you? This isn't like you."

"Me?!" He exclaims. "My reaction to a murderous death eater is perfectly valid! What has
gotten into you Hermione?! You let the bastard between your legs and suddenly lose all
common sense! He just tried to kill me!"

"You better watch your fucking mouth Weasley." I warn. "Or else I'll finish what I started."

"You see!" He screams while throwing his arms around. "Where is your fucking dignity
Hermione? How could you betray me like this!"

"Betray you? In what way am I betraying you?" She snipes. Weasley just fucked up on a
massive level. "I'm failing to see how my choice in who I date has any impact on you Ron."

"That's - that's not what I meant-"

"Oh please tell me what you did mean then."

"I just meant-Harry help me out mate!"

Potter shakes his head, takes a step back and raises his hands. "You're on your own with this
one."

Weasley let's out a frustrated groan, frantically brushing his fingers through his hair as he
turns back to Granger. "Mione, I just meant - how could you choose to be with him? It just
doesn't make sense, you're better than this."

He really thought he just saved himself with that one, even looks proud of himself but he
severely miscalculated because Granger looks even more furious than before. Little lion is
about to eat the weasel alive and I'm so looking forward to it.

"I am more than the person I date! I still have my own identity and just because I was able
see past a hardened exterior does not mean that I have lost any of my dignity nor does it
make me less of a person."

"Hardened exterior? The man is a killer! This isn't just some school bully anymore but even
then he was fucking mad. He burned someone's hand off for fucks sake!"
"I've had enough of this Ronald!" She clips. "Draco has been helping us and has also chosen
to continue to do so and if you're going to let your differences get in the way of possibly
saving thousands of lives then you are the one who has changed, not me."

"This is fucking ridiculous! You're going to let Draco fucking Malfoy come between us?"

"You're the one letting that happen!" She corrects. "You need to grow up and see the bigger
picture. Voldemort is ready to execute every Muggle-born which I am in case you forgot!"

The room instantly falls silent. It's the first time Granger has actually spoken about this to
anyone, even me. When I first arrived and told her of his plans for Muggle-borns she brushed
it off casually but now it's very evident how much it's affecting her. Everyone can see it, the
strain in her eyes and shift in her demeanor.

"Hermione." Weasley says, his voice soft and calm now. "I'm sorry, I know this has been
really hard on you."

"It's been hard on everyone Ron." She says. "Look, I'm not asking for any of you to be best
friends but I'm just asking for you to at least try to not kill each other. There's going to be
enough death as it is without you two going for each other's neck."

Now she turns to face me, she's disappointed in me and while I feel no guilt or shame for
what I did to Weasley I do hate that I've upset her.

"I need you to try to control yourself, please, for me?"

I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear and nod. "Okay Granger."

"Thank you." Her lips pulling into a soft smile. "And you?" She asks, turning to Weasley.
"Can you try?"

His eyes shift over to me and then back to her, his shoulders relaxing. "Whatever you need
Hermione." He says.

"Good." She lets out a breath of relief. "I prepared lunch for everyone so let's just shake this
off and go eat."

As we're walking out I grab Weasley by the shirt and pull him aside.

"What do you want Malfoy?"

"I meant what I said Weaslebee." I whisper but the threatening timbre is still present. "Even a
hint of anything other than platonic towards her and I rip your throat out."

July 29 1997

Apparently the house they've been staying at is also serving as headquarters for The Order.
What a drab choice.
"You don't approve?" Tonks asks me, taking her seat at the table.

"Do you ever get annoyed that your hair makes you the human equivalent to one of those
muggle mood rings?"

Her hair immediately switches to red, her eyebrows furrowing as she glares me down.
Pleased that I'm still able to easily get to her, I smile and sit back in my seat.

The others join us shortly, Lupin leading the meeting per usual.

"As we are aware, thanks to Mr. Malfoy, Voldemort plans to begin enforcing the muggle
registration and interrogating individuals on their blood status come this August."

As he's talking I glance over at Tonks who is completely entranced by the man-dog.

"Purple huh?" I smirk over at her, interrupting Lupin mid sentence. "Someone's feeling
horny."

Tonks swiftly picks up the fork in front of her and throws it across the table, straight for my
neck. I catch the utensil between my fingers just before it was set to drive into my skin.

"Always so easily embarrassed, cousin." I taunt, a smug look on my face.

Lupin clears his throat. "If you two are finished. Kingsley and I were discussing how to
approach this situation with minimal casualties. Mr. Malfoy." His attention turning to me. "If
you had to estimate, how secured will the ministry be by then?"

"Do you want the honest truth or would you prefer I continue feeding into the false hope that
seems to flood this room?" I ask.

He gives me an impatient look. "Honest truth, if you would."

"It will be nearly impossible to penetrate the ministry under the radar. There will be, at
minimum, twenty death eaters guarding the floos and Yaxley is constantly sweeping the
area."

"And what about the lower levels, where the courtrooms are and where the trials will be
held?"

I shake my head. "You'd be better off just killing yourself."

"Why is that?" He questions. "What sort of security will be in place?"

"Lethal." I tell him.

"Can you elaborate? Wards? Dementors?"

"None of the mentioned."

"Then what?" Tonks asks.

"Me." I casually state. Everyone just stares at me, as if they had forgotten that I am in fact a
death eater and not some random bloke who happens to be in possession of all of this
confidential information.

"I don't understand." Potter says. Figures, when does he ever? "If it will be you down there
then why wouldn't we be able to get through?"

"Because scarhead, I won't let you."

"Why not?"

"Because it's my job fuckwit."

"Then why are you even helping us if your loyalty still lies with him at the end of the day?"

"I'm given orders and I follow them, it's that simple." I reply. "And for the record my loyalties
don't lie with the dark lord. If they did I wouldn't be here, would I?"

"So you're loyal to the order?" Tonks asks, her voice full of hope.

"No cousin, sorry to break your heart."

"Then where?" Potter asks.

"Why are we even bothering?" Weasley adds. "The man doesn't have a single loyal bone in
his body."

"I do happen to have a loyal bone in my body Weaslebee." I correct.

"Really?" His tone mocking. "And who does it belong to?"

"Granger." I grin. "And it's a big bone." I turn to my right to look at her and say "Isn't that
right, love? Why don't you tell Weasley how much you love my loyalty."

Her cheeks are the brightest shade of red I've ever seen, brighter than gingerfucks hideous
hair. "I-er" she stammers. "Let's get back to the plan, yeah?" She suggests.

Everyone is staring at her which makes her sink back into her chair as she drowns in
embarrassment. Lupin saves her by proceeding with the meeting. I lean over and lower my
head to level with her ear.

"It's okay love." I whisper, my hand finding its way to her inner thigh. "I already know how
much you love it." I slowly move my way up her leg until I find her center. Her hips snapping
into my hand as I press my palm against her. "I love how wet you get for me Granger." I
groan into her ear.

"Isn't that right Hermione?" Lupin's voice causes her to jump in her seat. Her eyes dart over
to him, failing to mask how flustered she is.

"S-sorry, what did you say?" She chokes out.

Lupin looks between the both of us and gives me a displeased look as he begins to piece
together the situation.

"I was just telling everyone how you're getting close to finishing the polyjuice potion." He
says.

"Oh, right, yes." She nods. "That is correct. I just need to get a few more ingredients but it
should be ready in time."

I'm really starting to enjoy these meetings.

 Chapter 54

August 1 1997

"I-I don't understand." His voice shakes. "I did everything that you asked of me. I pledged my
allegiance to you."

Voldemort slowly circles around Scrimgeour who is on his knees in the center of his office.

"You served valiantly, minister." Voldemort says. "This is not a reflection of your
cooperation, it's just simply what needs to be done." He raises his hand ever so slightly, a
subtle flick of his finger to call for me. I take two steps forward and wait for his signal.

"It is a shame that magical blood must be spilled but I hope you know that your death will not
be in vain."

Another finger lifted – I draw my knife

"What is to become of my family?" Scrimgeour asks nervously, fully aware of the protocols.

"They will suffer not." Voldemort assures him. "Lieutenant Malfoy will make sure of that, he
is extraordinarily precise."

A wave to the side – I reach for his shoulder, crouch down and drive my blade up just behind
his chin, twisting before yanking it back out.

Scrimgeour's body convulses on the floor for a minute or so before going fully limp. Bloody
footsteps trail their way across the office as Voldemort steps out, myself following closely
behind.

"Inform Zabini of the minister's falling, have him spread the word." He instructs.

"Yes my lord."

I locate Blaise and relay the message, he immediately begins sending word to the other
sectors which means I have precisely ten minutes until Greyback, Yaxley and the Carrows
head out.

There's chaos erupting throughout the building as the news of the minister's death begins
spreading which offers me perfect coverage to leave unnoticed. I turn my signet ring once
clockwise, pinning down on Granger's location and apparating.

I told these knobheads countless times that it was not the time for a wedding but did they
listen to me? No. They'd always say some dumb shit like "You're just an antagonist when it
comes to anything remotely happy." I'm not adverse to happiness but I am to stupidity and
that's precisely what this was – fucking stupid.
The newlyweds are peacefully spinning around together on the dance floor when I approach
Granger. Taking a hold of her arm I say "Time to go love."

"But they just started their first dance." She complains.

"Good for them, now let's go." She fights back when I try to pull her away. "This is not the
time to be stubborn." I tell her, my voice stern.

"Mr. Weasley said they reinforced the wards, I don't see how they would even be able to get
in."

I do not have the patience for this right now.

"Granger, if you don't move those feet of yours immediately then I will throw you over my
shoulder and carry you out."

"But Draco-" Her dispute is interrupted by gasps bouncing around us as a ball of blue light
glows in the center. Everyone remains still as they carefully observe, waiting to see what is
about to happen.

"The ministry has fallen." Blaise's voice echoes. "The minister of magic is dead."

"Are you ready now?" I ask, irritated that she chooses the worst times to be difficult. Granger
is about to say something when they arrive, breaking straight through the wards and
shattering every piece of glass in the surrounding area. Panic sets off, everyone begins
frantically running around, the smart ones apparating.

"Who is it?" She asks.

"Yaxley, Greyback and the Carrows." I tell her. "We have to get you out of here."

She tugs on my arm. "But what about everyone else? What about Harry and Ron?"

I grab both of her shoulders. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Then act like it and come with me."

For once she doesn't argue or ask questions, without hesitation she takes my hand and I
apparate us to Grimmauld place. Once she finds her bearings I instruct her to stay put and
apparate back.

Only those dumb enough stayed behind and attempted to fight, Potter and Weasley being two
of them. They haven't been spotted yet which is the only reason they're still breathing. A
shame. I was hoping I'd be too late, I had my whole speech prepared for Granger.

"Sorry Granger, I tried my best but by the time I made it their insides were already sprawled
across the floor."
But no. The two biggest pains in my arse are still alive which has resulted in me pushing
through the crowd over to them. When I approach Weasley shoves his wand in my face.
Slapping his arm away I say "If you'd like to keep your head attached to your body I highly
suggest you never do that again."

"Malfoy, what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to get Hermione out." Potter
says.

"I already did."

"Then what are you still doing here?" Weasley questions.

"Please try to talk less." I groan. "Your voice makes bile pool in the back of my throat."

Whatever insulting comeback he was preparing is cut off when a hex flies straight for their
heads. I grab the back of their jackets and pull them down, the hex just barely grazing their
hair.

"Try not to hurl all over me." I say before apparating the both of them out. Granger jumps up
to her feet the second we arrive, rushing straight over and throwing her arms around them.
While the three musketeers celebrate that they're still alive I take the time to inspect the
grounds.

"Homenum revelio." Nothing.

Not fully trusting it I personally check each room and then the wards outside to make sure
that they haven't been tampered with, strengthening them before heading back inside.

"Is someone going to explain what the bloody hell that was?" Weasley asks.

"That's called an attack you numpty."

"No shit Malfoy." He snipes back. "I'm talking about the message. You said Voldemort was
going to take control over the ministry not that the minister would be killed."

"I didn't see the point in wasting my energy going over the details." I tell him. "Besides, it
wouldn't have made a difference. It's done. You're alive. You're welcome."

"I'm not thanking you."

"Figured as much, why would you do such a thing after I saved your ungrateful arse from a
hex to the face."

"Wait." Potter chimes in. "Who killed the minister?"

"That's an idiotic question." I say.

"It was you?" Granger turns to me, a shocked look on her face.
"Obviously. Did you really think Voldemort would do it himself? The man can't be bothered
to do any of his own dirty work and he doesn't have to, he has me."

"Reason number one thousand why we shouldn't trust him!" Weasley announces. Granger
shoots him a death glare before dragging me off into another room, locking the door behind
her.

"Don't." I say.

"Don't what?"

"Act surprised. It's exhausting constantly having to remind you of who I am, what I am."

She shakes her head and closes the distance between us. "The things you've done don't define
you Draco. I know who you really are and this isn't it. Your hands are tied at the moment but
it won't be like this forever."

I caress her cheek and brush my thumb across her skin. "I love the way you view me, truly,
but I wish you'd stop expecting so much of me. I'm not a good man Granger, I'll only
continue to disappoint you."

"That's not true."

"But it is, it's the most honest thing I've ever said." I tell her. "I'm terribly selfish, every
decision I make is purely based on self preservation."

"And yet you risked your life by coming to save me." She says, placing her hand on top of
mine.

"That's because I can't live without you."

"Then what about Ron and Harry?" She asks. "You went back to get them. How does saving
them fall under the category of selfishly motivated acts?"

"Because you can't live without them."

"Draco." She says my name like an oath, a promise that she will always be mine and I
crumble under it every time.

"Gods, I'll never grow tired of hearing you say that."

"Draco?"

"Yes."

"Draco.." She whispers.

"Yes, my love?"

"Kiss me."
Two words, six letters and the best damn order I've ever been given. My hand slides down
and around to the base of her neck, pulling her up and into me.

My tongue glides across her bottom lip as my left hand grips tightly onto her arse causing her
to gasp, simultaneously granting me complete access to taste her. I swallow back the several
moans that escape her throat as our tongues dance around one another.

Her fingers are curling tightly around the collar of my shirt as I step backwards, guiding us to
the other side of the room.

"There's no bed in here." She informs me but I was already fully aware of this piece of
information. Placing both of my hands on her hips, I spin her around and pull her backside up
against me so that she's now facing the floor length mirror propped against the wall.

I gently push her hair off of her shoulder and trail my mouth down the length of her neck
while I reach for the bottom of her dress and pull it up.

"You're so beautiful." I whisper before sucking on the skin just above her clavicle. "My
beautiful Granger." My hand makes its way between her legs and down her slit.

"Draco." She pants, her head falling back onto me.

With my free hand I grab her chin and force her head back up. "I want you to watch as I
make you cum all over me."

I watch as her eyes follow my hand as I push her knickers to the side. As I slide a finger
inside her eyes shut. "Open your eyes." I command. "I want you to see how breathtaking you
look riding my fingers."

Once her eyes open again I begin thrusting in and out of her while my thumb circles her clit.

She's panting, moaning my name as her nails dig into my leg, her half lidded gaze still locked
onto my hand. "Do you like watching while I fuck your pretty cunt with my fingers?"

"Y-yes."

Her mouth falls open as my left hand makes its way to her breast, my fingers teasing her
nipples while my right thrusts faster, harder and deeper inside of her.

"Gods..." she moans.

"Wrong name, love."

Her hand flies up to my hair, her fingers pulling at the ends as I curl my finger inside of her.

"Draco... I..."

"That's it." I praise. "You're doing so good sweetheart, cum for me."
I feel her walls tighten as her backside grinds against my cock, her legs shaking as she begins
to unravel.

I allow her no time to recuperate as I spin her back around to face me but it seems she doesn't
require any as she immediately removes my belt and unzips my trousers.

"Jump." I instruct. My hands catch her thighs as her legs wrap around my torso and I back
her into the wall.

She reaches down and guides my tip to her entrance. I lower her body down onto me and let
out a deep groan as I feel her heat wrap around my cock.

"Fuck Hermione, do you know how badly I've missed this?" She goes to answer but all that
escapes is a sharp inhale as I snap my hips into hers. "You're all I fucking think about." I tell
her as I tangle my fingers in her hair. "Your voice - those eyes - this tight cunt - gods you are
so perfect. So fucking perfect." My voice becoming more ragged with each thrust.

"Draco, please." She begs

"I'm yours Granger. Forever." Emphasizing each word with a thrust, each one harder and
deeper than the last. "All yours."

"Gods.. yes.. yes.. Draco .."

"Say that you're mine." Pushing her dress off her shoulder and down to her stomach to reveal
her breasts. "Tell me that you'll always be mine Hermione." I command, lapping my tongue
around her nipple.

"I'm yours." She pants. "A-all yours. Forever."

I groan against her skin as I suck down on her nipple, my hips snapping into hers. I lift my
head and find her mouth with mine, kissing her once.

"Draco - please I'm so close."

I move my left hand back down to her thigh, tightening my hold on her as I thrust even faster
and harder.

"You're so good - so fucking good."

"Draco!" She cries out, her walls suffocating my cock as she comes undone. I grip onto her
even tighter as I thrust once more - my right hand flying up and onto the wall to support the
both of us as I fill her insides.

Once we both manage to catch our breath I kiss her once before carefully setting her back
down on her feet. Pulling my trousers back up and fastening my belt I head for the door.

"Where are you going?" She asks.

"I'll be back, I'm just going to go get you some water and a towel."
As I'm walking back from the kitchen I come across Weasley who takes quick note of my
current state - messy hair, wrinkled shirt, a light glisten from the sweat that's still lingering.
His eyes widen as he stops in his tracks.

"Weaslebee." I smirk, patting his back as I pass by.

 Chapter 55

August 8 1997

"I see karma is finally catching up with me, seeing as you're here."

"I missed you too dick head." Freckles smiles. "I heard you tried to kill my brother."

"If that's true then why haven't you thanked me yet?" A smug look on my face as I find my
seat at the table.

Our little reunion is cut short when the rest of the bleeding heart Gryffindor gang joins us, I
hope stupidity isn't contagious or else I'm fucked. First they don't listen to me and nearly get
themselves killed and for what? A bloody wedding. I'm honestly surprised they all managed
to walk away in one piece and even after all of that they're still planning on raiding the
ministry. I swear, the only qualifying attribute one must possess to be sorted into Gryffindor
is a severe lack of brain cells.

Potter takes the lead today, standing at the end of the table. "Ron and I were thinking-"

"I didn't realize either of you were capable of such a thing." Granger elbows me in the side
and apologizes on my behalf before telling him to continue. I wasn't wrong though because
after hearing their plan it's obvious that they aren't.

These people need to pull their heads out of their arse and stop blindly following Potter's
lead. So what if the prat survived the killing curse? Has no one taken the time to consider that
perhaps the scar on his giant forehead is an indication that he doesn't have a functioning
brain?

"Malfoy, what do you think?" Potter asks.

"I think your mother's sacrifice was a waste."

"Draco!" Granger scolds.

"What? Clearly he doesn't appreciate his second chance at life seeing as he's proposing a
suicide mission."

"It's not a suicide mission." He contests.

"Right because Harry bloody Potter trotting his chosen one arse right into a death eater
infested ministry is bound to go smoothly."

"Don't you think you're being a bit too pessimistic about this Draco?" Granger asks me.

"I'd argue that I'm not being pessimistic enough." I say to her. "And by the way, you
are not joining wanker one and two on this half-witted mission."
"I've already made my decision and you aren't going to change my mind."

"We'll be fine Malfoy." Potter says.

"I don't think you understand Potter, I couldn't give a damn what happens to any of you. The
only person I care about, and will ever care about, is Granger. If she dies due to your
negligence I will snap every single one of your necks."

The next half hour is filled with useless arguments, Lupin does his best to dictate and settle
everyone down but it's no use. Freckles is holding her imbecile brother back, Potter is in my
face and Granger is attempting to calm me down.

I don't know how many times I have to tell these people that I'm not here to help them. I have
no interest in the order or what they stand for and I'd gladly watch as they all burned with the
rest of the world.

Lupin finally grows tired of the entire situation and drags both Weasley and Potter into the
other room, Granger following close behind leaving just Weaslette and I.

"Good to see you're still the prick I know and don't entirely loathe."

"Always a pleasure living up to your expectations, freckles."

"Are you still occluding?" She asks, her tone turning serious.

"What do you think?"

"Draco, the longer you occlude the worse-"

"I know." I clip, my jaw tensing as I meet her eyes.

I'm fully aware of what's going to happen the day I finally let my occlumency drop but it's
nothing worth worrying over at the moment. There's very little I have control over right now
but what I do have is the ability to contain, manage and dispose of my emotions – most of
them at least. Dumbledore's words have taunted me every day since that night in the
astronomy tower.

"You're scared for her, it's the only thing you struggle to suppress."

Scared is not an emotion I've ever allowed myself to feel, not until her. Granger in general
terrifies me. The way she can get me to bend at her will with just a simple fucking word and
light touch of the hand. How her smile is enough to make me drop to my knees and don't
even get me started on those sinful eyes of hers – the things that flood my mind whenever she
looks at me.

The one thing that tops the list though is when she gives me that disappointed look of hers,
one I'm often gifted. Never in my life have I cared if I let someone down, not even my father,
but Granger is different. I hate the way it makes me feel – caring is a revolting emotion.
No matter what I do, how hard I try, she always manages to slip out of her box that I've
carefully placed her in. It doesn't matter how tightly I seal the cracks or how deep I bury it.
Every damn time she escapes, it's a rather large blow to my ego.

August 13 1997

"What are you writing?" I ask, peering over her shoulder. Her hand quickly covers the piece
of parchment, shoving it off to the side. "Is it about me?" I smirk. "Are you writing a love
letter Granger?"

She stands, her body lodging between myself and the desk. "You look tired Draco." What a
way to change the subject.

"I'm fine, love."

Her fingers brush through my hair. "When was the last time you slept?"

"A few days ago." I shrug casually. "Between the hearings and coming here I haven't been
afforded the luxury of sleep."

She frowns. "You need to rest."

"And you need to stop worrying about me. How are you doing?"

"Fine."

Liar.

Grabbing her hands, I bring them up to my lips and kiss her knuckles. "You know I'd never
let anything happen to you, right?"

"I know."

"But you're worried about your friends." I state.

"I know you don't get along with them.."

"That's an understatement."

"But they're important to me." She continues. "I need them just like I need you."

"I know Granger." I sigh, hating the fact.

"Then help them. Be there for them like you are for me, please Draco."

Love makes even the strongest feeble and I'm ashamed to admit that I'm no exception.
August 14 1997

"I'll do it." I tell Lupin, marching into the study. His eyebrow quirks as he sets his quill down.

"What caused the change of heart?"

I let out an exaggerated exhale. "What do you think?"

-*-

"I don't understand." Potter's eyebrows knitting together.

"Shocking." I mock, rolling my eyes.

Lupin gives me a warning glare before facing Potter and says "Mr. Malfoy has agreed to
make the unbreakable vow."

"Why do I have to be the one he binds it with?"

"Because Harry, even though you choose to not acknowledge it, you are the head of this
resistance." Lupin tells him.

"What happens if he goes against his word?"

"I die." I answer, uncrossing my arms as I step forward. "A rather unforgiving piece of magic
the vow is."

"I thought your loyalty didn't lie with the order?"

"It doesn't."

"Then why link your life to the protection of it, of us?" Potter asks.

"Granger asked me to." I simply state.

Both of his brows relax. "You really love her, don't you?"

"Try to not sound so surprised." I tell him, grabbing his arm and turning it so that his palm is
facing up.

"What are you doing Malfoy?"

Grabbing the alcohol cloth off of the table, I begin wiping his hand. "Disinfecting. Only gods
knows where your hands have been. I don't need any grease marks on my jacket, it costs
more than your life is worth." Once I've wiped every inch of his exposed skin twice, I drop
his arm and say "There. Much better."

"You're insufferable." He scoffs.

"And you're repulsive."

"Alright." Lupin says, stepping between us and looking at me. "You're certain you want to do
this?"

"Yeah, whatever, let's just get it over with already."

He nods his head and takes out his wand, instructing the two of us to grasp onto one another's
forearm.

"Fucks sake Potter, do you have any muscle on your pathetic body? It feels like I'm holding
onto a twig."

"Piss off Malfoy."

"Gentlemen, focus please." Lupin says, raising his wand, a thin glowing string twisting
around both of our arms. "Will you, Draco Malfoy, assist the order in their attempt to raze
Voldemort and the death eaters?"

"I will."

"And will you, to the best of your ability, protect the order and all of its members?"

"I will."

The line glows brightly before evaporating into the air, a faint outline still indenting my
sleeve as Potter and I release our hold on one another.
 Chapter 56

August 18 1997

"You're a liar." Umbridge sneers down at the woman.

"N-no," she stutters. "I told you my mother is a witch and m-my father is a muggle."

"Enough!" Umbridge shouts, snapping the wand in half. "Lieutenant General." I step forward.
"Dispose of Mrs. Parsons."

I pivot on my heel, facing the terrified woman. Her fingers grip onto me as she begs for
mercy. "Please, I have a family." Her tear filled eyes are met by my glazed over ones,
unmoved by her pleas.

The sound of my knife sliding out of its holster causes her body to shrink back into the chair,
her hands now raised in front of her face as she screams.

"Silence her, Lieutenant." Umbridge commands.

Gathering her wrists in my left hand and yanking them down, I run the edge of the blade
against the mid of her throat. Her wails muffled as blood begins pouring out and down the
front of her body. Isaacs is called forward, he removes the body from the premises as I wipe
the blood off on my sleeve.

"I hate it when they scream." Umbridge scoffs.

"Then perhaps you should have taken my suggestion in using a silencio." I tell her.

The corner of her mouth lifts. "That would take away the fun though."

What an annoying woman. Twenty cases a day, twenty piercing screams ringing in my ears.
I'll be lucky if I'm able to still hear by the end of the week. As she's talking to Mafalda while
Yaxley drags in the next individual, a flash of light coming from her chest catches my
attention.

"Thomas Hawthorne." Yaxley tells me, handing me the case file.

Approaching the stand, I take a closer look at the necklace hanging from Umbridge's neck.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

August 20 1997
"You're certain it was the locket?" Potter asks me for the hundredth time.

"I am not repeating myself again." I say, leaning back into my chair.

I've been here for an hour now and the fuckwit still can't comprehend what I've said. What is
so hard to understand? Umbridge is sporting the Slytherin locket that doubles as a horcrux
like it's a fucking fashion statement. It's rather straight forward but leave it to scarhead to
have zero ability to process such simple information.

"How do you know it was the locket?" Weasley asks.

"And how did Umbridge get it?" Potter adds.

"I'm not answering either of those questions."

"Why not?" They both ask simultaneously.

"Because they're dumb." I tell them. "I know it's extremely difficult, but at least try to use
your tiny brains for once before asking questions that have obvious answers."

Oh good, I can literally see the wheels in their heads spinning. It takes an embarrassingly
long time but the bulb finally lights.

"Voldemort gave it to her!" Potter exclaims.

"What a fucking revelation." I groan.

"But why?"

I stay silent as I stare at him, my arms folded across my chest as I lift a bored brow.

"Can you not be a pompous dick for two seconds and just tell us?" He asks.

Useless.

"After further investigation, the locket was confiscated last Thursday from a man who was
trying to pawn it off on the street." I inform them. "Voldemort is an extremely paranoid
person, if you'd even classify him as such anymore. Regardless, he'd want to keep the locket
nearby so that he can keep tabs on it. Umbridge is also constantly escorted by a high rank
which secures the safety of it."

"So she's a walking safe box." Weasley states.

"Essentially. Congratulations Weaslebee," I say, placing my hand on my chest in mock

admiration. "You did it, you used your brain. What a miracle."

He snarls at me while Potter says "How are we going to get it from her?"

"We? No. There will be no we. You two will do what you do best, sit around doing absolutely
nothing. I'll handle the locket."
"And we're supposed to just trust you?" Weasley challenges.

"Well I did make a fucking vow, didn't I?"

He narrows his eyes "I guess."

What an ungrateful bastard. I'm still trying to figure out a way to kill him without it resulting
in my own demise. I think it'd be fair to say he doesn't fall under the category of "The Order"
considering he has never once contributed anything of use. It might just be worth it to test the
theory one of these days.

August 27 1997

I'm stalking the halls of the lower levels of the ministry as I await Umbridge's arrival. This
should be simple enough and if she doesn't cooperate then I'll just simply kill the bint. No one
would miss her, I'd probably receive another promotion in all honesty.

The elevator arrives with Umbridge inside, dressed in her usual clothes that look as if a
pigmy puff threw up on her. Walking over, I slide the gate to the side and hold it open for her.

"Thank you Lieutenant." She smiles, stepping forward.

As I'm about to close the gates I feel a slight breeze and a faint brush against my shoulder.
These fucking morons. Catching up with Umbridge, I follow her into the courtroom. I'm on
high alert as I scan the room, waiting for the prats to make themselves known.

I've just begun inspecting the west wall when I see a piece of parchment slightly lift. Got you.
Umbridge makes her way up to the stand, unaware of anything per usual. I make my way
over to the other side of the room while our first case of the day is brought in, stopping just
before the desk.

Keeping my eyes forward, I reach behind me and grip onto the invisible cloak, a small gasp
causing my eyebrow to twitch. Turning, I pretend to look over the files before me as I
whisper "Stay put."

I release my hold on the fabric when I hear Umbridge say "Ah! Albert, good to see you."
Looking to my right, I see an unusually stiff Runcorn pushing forward a disheveled
Cattermole.

"Reg?" The woman in the chair calls out, turning to look at him. Cattermole uncomfortably
joins her side, his hands shaking as they hover over her shoulder before placing them down.
This is just fucking fantastic. Why do I even bother anymore?

I take my usual place and study Runcorn Potter as Umbridge begins the hearing of Mrs.
Cattermole, her loving husband by her side.
"Mary Elizabeth Cattermole, a wand was taken from you upon your arrival at the ministry
today. Mrs. Cattermole is this that wand?" She asks, holding it up for her to see.

"Yes."

As the proceedings continue, I watch "Runcorn" out of the corner of my eye as he saunters
his way closer to the stand. Nice. Brilliant. Extremely well thought out plan Potter. Let's just
walk right up to the witch and yank it from her neck, that'll go well.

"I got it at diagon alley," Mrs. Cattermole says. "At Olivanders when I was eleven. It chose
me."

"You're lying." Umbridge says. "Wands only choose witches and you are not a witch."

I hear the faintest sound of footsteps approaching behind me. Turning my foot slightly out to
the side, I feel her shoe hit against mine. I can sense her presence and that's all I need in order
to gain access inside her head.

Keeping my eyes trained on the stand, I focus and push my way in.

"Someone's been an awfully bad girl, love. Why can you never stay where I put you?"

"What on earth are you doing Albert?" Umbridge's question causes my head to snap to the
left, watching as Potter's face slowly begins to reveal itself.

"You're lying Dolores." He says. "And one mustn't tell lies..." Don't do it. Surely you can't
be this stupid. "Stupefy!" Well, I guess he can be.

Granger shucks off the cloak and sprints forward, ripping the locket off of Umbridge's neck.
Mafalda is frantically digging through her purse to locate her wand when I approach.

"No hard feelings Mafalda." I say before placing my hands on either side of her face and
swiftly twisting it to the side, a cracking noise as her neck breaks and her head falls down
onto her desk.

Potter is stood next to Granger, examining the locket while Weaslebee still remains under the
polyjuice.

"What the actual fuck do you three think you're doing?!" I shout, walking over to them.

Potter proudly holds up the locket. "What you couldn't."

I angrily run my hand down the length of my face. "You daft git, I was perfectly capable of
retrieving that on my own."

"Is that so? Because from what I saw it looked like you were making no efforts to do so."

"That's because, unlike you, I had a smart plan. One that didn't involve stupefying, killing or
alerting anyone!"
"Sounds like a load to me." Weaslebee scoffs.

"Don't you have a wife to tend to?" I snipe at him before turning my attention back to Potter
and Granger. "You seem to often forget my ranking in the death eaters. A ranking that grants
me a high amount of authority, high enough to just order the fucking witch to hand the locket
over to me!"

Granger steps forward "Draco we didn't-"

"No." My voice stern. "I'll deal with you later."

An alarm begins wailing throughout the building, alerting the other death eaters that there has
been a break in.

"You three have five minutes at most to get the hell out of here." I inform them. Potter shoves
the locket into his pocket and tugs on Granger's arm as he begins walking. As he passes by I
firmly grasp his arm.

"You better get her out of here safely or I swear."

"Malfoy I got her, okay? She'll be fine, I promise."

I tighten my grip and pull him closer. "I don't think you understand the severity of the
situation Potter, you look far too calm, allow me to elaborate. If you don't get her out of here
without a single scratch I will kill every last person you care about and then I will bury my
knife in your chest, that is a promise."
 Chapter 57

August 28 1997

"We still haven't been able to locate them, my lord." Yaxley says. Voldemort takes a slow and
deep breath before speaking.

"Your continuous failure disappoints me Yaxley."

"My lord-"

Voldemort raises his hand, silencing him as he calls me forward. I step up from behind,
joining him by his side. "Lieutenant." He says, tilting his head to look at me. "Remind your
subordinate what happens when one fails to carry out a task."

Closing in on Yaxley in two strides, I grasp the base of his neck and drive my dagger through
his right eye, blood spurting onto my cheek as he yells out in agony. Grabbing his wrist, I
twist his arm back and push his head down, snapping his arm over my thigh. Yaxley falls to
his knees, his left arm hanging limp at his side while his right hand covers his eye.

"Get up." I command. He looks past me and over at Voldemort before staggering up to his
feet, the front of his shirt now completely stained with blood.

"Left or right, my lord?" I ask.

"Left."

Stepping around, I puncture the back of his calf with my knife and drag it down to his ankle.
Voldemort stands from his desk and heads for the door, myself following behind as I drag
Yaxley by his good arm.

As we both walk out onto the floor, everyone stops what they're doing and directs their
attention to us, their eyes full of horror as they take notice to Yaxley's mutilated state.

"It appears that there has been a misconception spreading amongst us that effort is equivalent
to success." Voldemort announces. "Take this as a warning that a mindset like that will not be
tolerated."

Dropping Yaxley on the ground, I lift his head up by the back of his hair and cut open his
throat. The room is silent as they watch him bleed out.

"Everyone who was on the lower level the day of the break in will be subject to questioning
with Lieutenant General Malfoy. If you have nothing to hide then you have nothing to fear."

As Voldemort dismisses himself I summon Isaacs who immediately comes running forward.
"Clean this up." I order. "And send both Runcorn and Cattermole to my office."
August 30 1997

"Draco!" Granger jumps into my arms the second I walk through the door.

"Hello, love." My voice giving away how exhausted I am.

"We were so worried when we hadn't heard anything from you. Are you okay?" Her fingers
graze over the cut on the side of my neck. "What happened here?"

"Where's Potter and Weasley?"

"In the living room but Draco-"

"Not now Granger." I snipe, my jaw rigid. "It's not a good time."

Joining the twats, I wait for Granger to take a seat before I begin speaking. I offer them vague
details on what has taken place since their little escapade at the ministry and inform them that
their location has been compromised. I'm grateful that, for once, I don't find myself having to
repeat every word I say. Potter and Weasley begin listing off different locations, each one
worst than the last.

"It has to be somewhere with no connection to any of you." I tell them. "Preferably secluded,
away from any form of civilization."

The two of them continue talking amongst themselves while Granger pulls me into another
room.

"Can we talk now?" She asks.

"I'd rather not."

"Are you upset with me?"

"No, I'm not upset with you Granger, I'm fucking furious. You did exactly what I told you
not to do."

"Draco I-"

"I'm not done." I growl, stepping into her. "You put yourself at risk by going there, do you
have any idea what would have happened if you got caught? What he would have ordered for
me to do?" For each step forward I take, she takes one back. "Do you know what happened to
the men Potter and Weasley pretended to be?" Her back meets the wall. "They were ripped
apart, tortured, forced to endure hours of pain and do you know who inflicted it?"

"Stop." The word barely audible as it catches in the back of her throat.

"I did. I listened as they screamed, swearing that they had nothing to do with the events and
then I killed them, it was the most mercy I had shown them by doing so."
Her legs give out, weighed down by the consequences of her and her friend's actions. I lift
her chin, her eyes drowning in guilt as she meets mine.

"You have an extraordinary mind Granger but where does all of that brilliance go when you
make decisions?"

She's breaking, unable to stomach the reality that two innocent people's lives were taken and
that it's her fault. Every bone in my body wants to comfort her, to wrap her in my arms and
tell her that everything is alright, but I don't. She needs to realize that we're not at Hogwarts
anymore, that her careless actions won't result in some juvenile punishment. This is a war and
when there's war there's death and running around doing whatever the hell you please will not
end well.

"I made an oath - an unbreakable vow to protect you and your friends." I tell her. "But you
should know this." My thumb gliding across her bottom lip. "If you die Granger, I'm done. If
you die, I will kill every last person that failed you, myself included."

Dropping her chin, I exit the room, offering her no chance to even attempt an apology.

September 8 1997

I haven't gone to see her since as I've felt no obligation to do so. The faint pulse emanating
from my ring is enough to tell me that she's alive and last time I checked they were far away
from Grimmauld place and civilization as a whole, it's about time they listened to me.

Even if I did want to go see her I wouldn't be able to. Voldemort has been on edge ever since
the horcrux was stolen and it doesn't help that the other death eaters performances haven't
been up to par. Somewhere around the tenth execution he realized that we couldn't afford to
continue killing our own so instead, he turned to taking his frustrations out on me.

It's become routine now. 7 pm rolls around and I find myself hunched over on the ground in
my own damn office, every nerve ending in my body being set on fire as he casts the crucio.
At this point I've learned to numb myself enough to not audibly show that I'm in pain which
seems to have taken the pleasure out of it for him, he resembles my father in that way.

There have been the occasional times where magic induced torture wasn't enough. Greyback
came back from a mission one day empty handed. All the man-dog had to do was secure an
old man, how fucking hard is that to do? The cut Granger so graciously pointed out that day
is nothing compared to the state of my body now. Lines now paint my skin, the most recent
cuts at the hand of Voldemort himself and what makes it even better is they were done by my
own knives. That was a fucked up thing to do, even for him.

I've just arrived at the manor for the night, heading up the stairs when I run into Theo.

"Merlin's left tit mate, the fuck happened to your face?"

I forgot that we haven't seen each other in awhile since, up until recently, any spare time I had
was spent with the idiotic golden trio but even lately I still haven't been around. If I'm not at
the ministry I'm being sent off, seeing as everyone else appears to be incapable of doing a
damn thing correctly, except Theo I guess. He's mostly been in France and based off of the
reports, he's doing his job well.

His hand reaches for the cut that starts just above my left brow, runs across my eye and ends
mid cheek. I smack his hand away and he winces a little as he shakes it out.

"As unfortunate as that is for you I'm quite happy." He says which causes my brow to quirk.
"I'm most definitely the better looking one now." He smirks.

I roll my eyes at his delusion and ask "How are Pans and Blaise?"

"They're good." He says, following me up the rest of the stairs and into my room. "Well, as
good as they can be I guess. They're still able to stay under the radar when it comes to their
involvement."

I nod my head as I begin stripping off my holsters. "And yourself? I see France is treating
you well."

"Yeah, I'm alright. I mostly just stand around and instill fear, nothing compared to what I
heard you've been doing." His jaw practically drops to the floor as I slip my shirt off. "Fucks
sake Draco, you're a right jigsaw at this point."

"It's nothing." I tell him, brushing it off. "Theo, how is your occlumency as of late?"

"My occlumency?" He asks.

"Yes."

"Better, I guess. I had Blaise test it the other day but the man is a shit legilimens so I don't
think that garners me much praise."

"Let me try."

"What? Why?"

Walking over to him, I grab him by the shoulders. "Focus, I'd rather not see the several ways
you and Pans have disgraced the guest room."

His eyes shift between mine for a moment before relaxing into it. Pushing my way in I'm met
by a steel door, it's sturdy but I'm able to easily find the weak spots but that's only because I
know the exact method he's using, I taught it to him. It's not the best but it'll work.

"Are you going to tell me why you just fucked my mind or..?" He asks as I break the
connection.

"I need your help with something but you knowing could very possibly lead to your death."
"Ah, wonderful, just what every guy wants to hear. Alright, out with it."

It only takes me around fifteen minutes to explain to him everything from the order, the
incident at the ministry and the vow I took but it takes him three times the amount of time to
do anything other than just stare at me.

"Let me get this straight." He says, shaking his head. "You made an unbreakable vow?"

"Yes."

"A vow that connects your life to the safety of the order?"

"Yes."

"Just because Granger asked you to?"

"Yes."

"That witch really has you on a tight leash mate."

"I'm aware." I say, letting out an irritated sigh.

"So what did you need my help with?"

"Voldemort is considering using the imperio on a select few as a way to help soothe his
neurotic arse. If he ends up using it on me I need you to do two things for me. The first is go
to Granger, use my ring to find them and do whatever you can to protect her."

"Okay... what's the second?"

"Kill me."
 Chapter 58

September 10 1997

It's strange being back at Hogwarts, it feels like it was a lifetime ago when I was stepping
into the great hall for the first time. There was a warmth to it, a calm and reassuring energy, a
safe place for me but none of that is present anymore. Today as I make my way down the
corridor everything feels darker, lifeless. It feels like a prison.

"Lieutenant Malfoy." Snape drawls.

"Headmaster, I believe you took the saying 'I'd kill for the job' a bit too seriously." I smirk, he
didn't find it funny, what a dull man.

"I wasn't aware you would be visiting today."

"Yes, well, that is the point of a surprise evaluation." I tell him. "If you were given a notice it
would defeat the whole purpose."

"Certainly."

He looks just as, if not more, unamused than usual but there's something off. There's a strain
in his eyes and while it was subtle, his shoulders tensed when I mentioned the word
evaluation. He's hiding something. I don't know what and I'm not entirely sure I care but it is
intriguing.

"Should we get started then?" I ask. He holds his arm out, gesturing for me to lead the way.

As we're walking I closely analyze his body language and how he reacts to certain topics.
Snape in general is as emotionless as they come, when I was younger I believed he wasn't a
real human... I'm still not fully convinced.

"How are the Carrows doing?" I ask. "They've neglected their reports the last few days."

Snape stops in front of a door and reaches for the handle. "Why don't you see for yourself?"
The door opens, revealing students lined along the wall. Any and all sounds abruptly cease,
every student's eyes locked onto me as I make my way across the room.

"Lieutenant General Malfoy." Amycus says, fear lacing his words as he straightens his
posture.

"Amycus, I didn't think either of you were still alive."

"Sir?"

"Well it's the only explanation as to why I have yet to receive a single report from either of
you." I tell him. "But alas, here you are, very much breathing."
His lips part, surely ready to give me a bull shit excuse, when a sniffle from behind
interrupts. Turning, I see a first year sat on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest.

"What's this?" I ask, raising a brow at the siblings.

"Today's lesson." Alecto states.

"Care to elaborate? I did just get here."

"They're practicing the cruciatus." Amycus says. "I had just finished a demonstration when
you entered."

I turn my attention back to the young girl, crouching down to her level. Her eyes are red,
puffy and full of fear. "Did it hurt?" I ask. She nods. "Would you like for them to hurt?"
Another nod. "Very well." Standing, I let out a slow and controlled breath before spinning on
my heel and reaching for Amycus' throat. Alecto takes a step towards me but comes to a
sudden halt when my eyes meet hers.

"Stand down, that's an order." I command. She steps back, clasping her hands in front of her
and lowering her head. Dragging Amycus to the center of the room and throwing him down
into a chair, I face the students.

"Now class, in my personal opinion, the cruciatus is ineffective and quite honestly, lazy." I
say. "If you want to hurt someone, then hurt someone. For example." Slipping the quill from
the desk behind me, I twirl it once in my fingers before driving it down into his thigh, my
hand flying over his mouth to muffle his high pitched squeal.

"Now Amycus." I tut. "Surely you don't allow your students the opulence of reacting to pain
in such a child-like manner, do you?" Looking up, I direct the question at the Gryffindor in
front of me. "Does he?"

The boy stares down at Amycus, rage filling his words when he says "No sir, he does not."

"He does it longer if anyone flinches." Another student adds.

Searching the class, the side of my mouth lifts when I spot who it was. "Freckles, always a
displeasure seeing you."

She steps forward from the line, positioning herself in the center of them all. "The only thing
either of them have taught us is how to be vile."

"And have you?"

"Have I what?"

"Learned to be vile." I say, removing the knife from my chest holster and holding it out for
her. "You're familiar with one of these, right freckles?"

Weaslette cautiously approaches, takes the knife from my hand and steps up to Amycus.
There's anger in her eyes, a thirst for revenge and I'm both surprised and proud to see it.
Before everything all she talked about was how ready she was to kill the death eaters and
now is her chance, a free shot.

She raises her hand, the light catching on the blade. Go on kid, do it. Her chest falls as she
exhales all of her rage. Pitiful. I gave her all of those lessons and now she has a chance to
actually put them to use but no, she lets her conscious win like the Gryffindor she is.
Disappointed, I take my knife back and motion for her to rejoin the rest of the students and
call Alecto forward.

"Show me your lesson plan."

"W-what?" Her eyes darting over to her brother.

"Am I speaking a different language? Show me. Your lesson plan." I command, grabbing her
arm and dragging her over to where I am.

Her hand shakes as she raises her wand and points it at her brother. Silently, she mouths "I'm
sorry" to him before casting the cruciatus. His body jolts in the seat, the vein in his neck close
to bursting as every muscle in his body tenses but he doesn't make a sound, very wise. After a
few minutes I instruct for her to stop.

"Today's lesson is this," I say to the students. "Trust no one. Anyone can turn on you at any
moment, even family."

Turning back to the siblings I whisper "As for the both of you, take this as a warning. Fail to
send your reports again and I'll hang your dead bodies from the astronomy tower."

Snape and I continue on with our tour of the school grounds. I've learned that most of the
curriculum is still the same with the exception that students aren't permitted to use magic. In
the rare occasions that they are it's used on one another and under the supervision of the
Carrows.

"Everything seems to be in order." I tell Snape. "I'm sure the dark lord will be pleased to hear
so."

He doesn't say anything, just nods. Snape is a man of very few words, perhaps he has a
speech impediment and that's why. Something like a lisp would really take away from his
whole, mysteriously evil persona.

"I'm going to look around a bit more, unattended."

His eyebrows raise slightly and he says "Mr. Malfoy I don't think-"

"It's Lieutenant General." I correct. "And I wasn't asking for permission."

Once Snape is gone I make my way down the rest of the corridor, take a left and find myself
just outside of the room of requirement. It also feels like a lifetime ago I was coming here
and working on that damn cabinet. Closing my eyes, I wait a few seconds before the door
appears. Stepping inside, I make my way to the back of the room.
"That was a rather embarrassing performance from you, freckles." I scoff, approaching their
little group.

"What did you want me to do?" She asks. "Kill him?"

"Yes. That's exactly what I wanted you to do."

She's in the middle of rolling her eyes at me like she often does when Finnigan lunges for me
and screams "You slimy death eater! I'm going to kill you!"

I hold my arm out, my palm smacking against his forehead, stopping him in his tracks. "It'd
be wise of you to never do that again." I tell him. "I haven't the energy to entertain your
juvenile tantrum." Turning back to Weaslette I ask "How are things on your end?"

She begins speaking but is cut off by Finnigan, he's not a part of The Order so there'd be no
repercussions if I ripped his throat out.

"Ginny why are you talking to him so casually?!" He asks. "He's a death eater!"

"Not even just that." Longbottom adds. "He's practically Voldemort's right hand man."

"Longbottom," I smirk. "I see you've finally grown into your ears."

"Guys stop!" Weaslette shouts. "He's on our side."

This statement causes the entire group to erupt. Countless expletives and accusations of her
being a liar and traitor flood the room. Such children. I don't have time for this. Pulling her
aside I repeat my question again. She informs me that the group has been doing the best they
can to protect the other students and fight back but they aren't sure how much longer they'll
be able to last.

"Okay, hold out as long as you can. Either myself or Theo will check back in a few weeks."

She nods and says "How does Hermione feel about your new beauty mark?" Pointing at the
scar across my eye.

"I wouldn't know, she hasn't seen it."

"What?! When was the last time you saw her?"

"A week or so ago." I shrug.

"What did you do this time Draco?"

"Why does it always have to be my fault?" I ask, agitated by the accusation. She doesn't
respond, just crosses her arms, raises a brow and waits for me to talk again. I let out an
annoyed groan before saying "She went against me and nearly got herself killed in the
process."

"So you've decided to ignore her?"

"I'm not ignoring her."

"You're ignoring her."

"Freckles, do you want me to tell the Carrows to start using the killing curse on students?
Because I will if you don't shut the fuck up."

"You have such a shitty temper." She scoffs. "You and Hermione fight all the time but you
always make up so piss off with the chip on your shoulder and go see her already."

"I can't."

"You can, you just won't."

"No Ginny," I sigh. "I can't." My use of her first name and the strain in my voice causes her
demeanor to shift.

"What's going on Draco?" She asks, her tone softening.

My jaw tenses as I meet her eyes. "I can't do it anymore. I can't handle the way she looks at
me or the thoughts that flood my mind. All I see when I'm with her is her dead body in my
arms. She makes me weak, I can't afford to be weak, not right now."

"Draco you.." She begins but my attention is pulled away when I feel a shock in my hand, the
usual steady rhythm of her pulse on my finger now rapid.

"What is it?" Weaslette asks concerned.

"I have to go." I say before apparating.

 Chapter 59
Chapter Notes

Hello! I just wanted to take a moment to say that while I am including canon events the
timeline of them may not always match up perfectly. With that being said, on to the
chapter and I hope you enjoy it :)

The building before me resembles an enlarged chess piece more than a house. The windows
are shattered and the sound of screams, her screams send me flying forward. Stepping inside,
I immediately spot a terror stricken man who I register as Mr. Lovegood, the resemblance is
far too uncanny. His entire body is shaking and his lips begin to part but I raise my finger to
my own to silence him.

Making my way through the kitchen, I spot Selwyn creeping his way up the stairs. I'm
carefully approaching him from behind when I hear another scream from above, Granger's
pulse against my finger even more rapid than before.

"Lost are we?" My sudden presence causing Selwyn to look back, his neck met by the edge
of my blade. "I never did care for you." I tell him before sliding the metal along his neck, his
body falling from my arms and down the stairs. Reaching the second level I see two more
death eaters stood in the hall just outside a door, Isaacs and Jugson.

Their eyes go wide and shoulders roll back when they spot me. "Lieutenant." Jugson chokes
out. "We weren't aware that you'd be joining us on this assignment."

"I'm not."

His brow quirks. "Sir?"

My left hand pushes his back into the wall, my right driving my knife into the side of his
neck. Isaacs is frozen in place as he watches his friend's blood spill out in front of his feet.

"Shame Isaacs, you were almost tolerable."

"You don't have to do this, I won't say anything! Please!" His voice frantic as he raises his
hands.

"Alright." I exhale. "You can go."

"R-really?"

My hands swiftly find their place on either side of his head and twist, his neck snapping.
"Idiot." I scoff before kicking down the door in front of me. Travers spins around to face me,
countless questions spewing from his mouth but my focus is on the small frame behind him.
Her wrists are bound, shirt disheveled and there's fresh blood trinkling down from her bottom
lip. Instantly, all I see is red, my eyes darkening as they meet his.

"Lieutenant I asked if-" His sentence is cut short when I lunge forward, grab him by the
throat and drag him over to the desk by the window. Picking one of the books off the shelf, I
place it on the desk, line his neck with the spine and slam my fist down on his head. Turning
around, I look at Granger, the sound of Travers' lifeless body falling as she runs over. I cut the
ropes that bind her wrists and she instantly throws herself into me.

"You came." She cries into my chest.

"Always, Granger." The muscles in my body relaxing as her arms tighten around my torso.
Pulling back, I lift her head and brush my thumb over her split lip. "You're bleeding."

She wipes her tears with the back of her sleeve before saying "It's nothing, really. It doesn't
even hurt anymore."

"Did he touch you?"

"Draco, I'm okay, truly."

"You're not hearing me Granger. Did he touch you?" My jaw clenching.

Her eyes widen as she realizes what I'm asking, her head shaking as she says "N-no, not like
that, no."

Thank fucking merlin. Though, I guess it wouldn't make much of a difference for him, he's
already dead. My eyes scan the room in search for fuckwit one and two but they're nowhere
to be found. Maybe they've already been disposed of, that would be nice.

"They're in the other room." She tells me. Damn. I can't have anything. Wishful thinking I
guess.

Once we've gathered Potter and Weasley from the other room we all make our way
downstairs, Mr. Lovegood still curled up in the corner as he stares at Selwyn's dead body at
the bottom of the stairs.

"That's going to be you soon if you don't start talking." I threaten, lifting him by the back of
his shirt and dragging him over to the kitchen, throwing him down into the chair.

He's still in a daze and remains silent. Granger walks behind him and retrieves a book off of
the table. "Could I see that, love?" She hands it over to me, a confused look on her face
which is quickly replaced by a shocked one after I smack Mr. Lovegood across the face with
it.

"Ow!" He shouts, rubbing his cheek.

"Oh good, so you are capable of speaking."

"P-please, I didn't mean any harm." His voice trembling.

"That's a fucking load." Weasley scoffs from behind. For once I actually agree with him, what
a strange fucking day. Turning my attention back to the old man, I take out two of my knives
and run the edges against one another. "Do you know who I am Mr. Lovegood?"

"Yes, you're the Malfoy boy."

"Is that all you know of me?"

"No. You're also a death eater."

"And what do death eaters do?"

"Kill people."

"Gods, what a smart man you are." I say with false praise. "Which means you knew very well
what would happen to them by calling for the death eaters."

His eyes shoot up, bouncing between the three of them. "I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to
do. They have her, they have my Luna."

"What?" Potter asks, stepping forward.

"They took her last night." He tells him.

"Did you know about this?" Potter directs at me.

"Is my shocked face not enough to tell you that I was just as in the dark about this as you?" I
ask with an impassive look.

His eyebrows lower out of annoyance. "You don't look shocked at all. In fact, you look rather
bored."

"That's because I am." I admit. "So much talking, let me just kill the bastard and we can get
on with our day."

Potter rolls his eyes and pushes me aside as he continues talking to Mr. Lovegood. He goes
on to tell us all about the raid, a small group of death eaters came in the middle of the night
and dragged her out. Before they left one of them told him that if he wished to ever see her
again then he needed to hand the three of them over. Sounds like a bull shit story to me, this
man is clearly not right in the head but leave it up to saint Potter to not only believe the
lunatic but also empathize with him. I think I'm going to vomit.

Another hour is spent listening to the old man talk out of his arse and both Potter and Granger
reassuring him that it's okay, no hard feelings, they understand. This is the first time Weasley
and I seemed to be able to stand one another because we both stood off to the side in
complete disbelief of their stupidity.
I escort the lot back to where they're staying, a tent located deep within the forest. Potter and
Weasley both head out to do who knows what, I'm sure they told me but whenever they talk
their voices seem to go in one ear and straight out the other. Granger and I haven't spoken
much, the tension in this damn tent is so thick I could choke on it.

Thankfully, she takes the lead of breaking the silence. "You're a dick Draco." I love when she
sweet talks me.

"Have I ever pretended not to be?"

"You left me." She says, standing up and walking over to me. "You left and I had no idea if
you were okay. You're a selfish and cruel man!"

"You're finally understanding, that's good." My tone patronizing.

"You drive me insane Draco!"

"Like you're some walk in the park for me, Granger."

"You're a coward who hides behind occlumency." She continues.

"I do what it takes to get things done." I retort.

She begins smacking my chest repeatedly as she curses me out. I just stand there, unbothered
and unaffected by the tantrum. After a few more slaps her hand raises and heads straight for
my cheek. I grip her wrist tightly to stop it and pull her into me.

"Are you done?" I snarl.

"I should have never let you into my life!" She snipes.

"That would've been a wise choice, love."

We both go still, our heavy breathing the only sound in the tent as we stare down one
another.

"You left." Her voice quiet, airy, broken.

"I know."

Both of our heads lean forward simultaneously, her lips latching onto mine as her fingers dig
through my hair while I pull her into me by the waist. She lets out all of her anger and
frustration with her lips and shortly after, her tongue as well. There's hate, hurt and longing in
the way her tongue tangles with mine.

Her hands move up to my shoulders, an irritated groan escaping the back of her throat as she
attempts to push me down.

"If you wanted me on my knees, you need only say so." I smirk. A bright shade of red
instantly dances across her cheeks, her teeth pulling at her bottom lip. "Use your words, tell
me what you want."

"I want- I want you on your knees." She stammers.

As requested, I kneel down in front of her, my eyes still locked onto hers. "What else?"

"I want you to take my pants off."

My fingers find her waistband, tugging down the denim until they're at her ankles while my
mouth leaves a trail of kisses along her stomach. "Don't go silent on me now, love." I murmur
against her skin.

"Draco."

"Yes sweetheart?"

"Touch me."

Instantly, my palm presses against her center, her body jumping at the contact. "I missed
you." I tell her as I circle her clit with my thumb.

"I missed you too." She pants.

My finger curls around the lace fabric and drags them down, her legs kicking slightly to rid
herself of the clothing altogether. My finger finds its way back to her center and drags along
her slit. "Always so wet for me Granger." I growl. My hands grip her waist and spin her
around so that her back is against the single post in the middle of the room. Lifting her left
leg, I drape it over my shoulder as I slide a single finger inside of her, my mouth sucking on
her clit.

"Oh gods.."

Her hips buck as I begin pumping in and out of her, my tongue lapping her clit as my free
hand grips onto her breast, my thumb brushing over her nipple. "Why do you never listen to
me, love?" I ask, adding a second finger. She tugs at my hair as her back arches against the
post. "Why must you always go against me?" My fingers curling and pressing against her
walls.

"B-because." She chokes out between moans. "I can make m-my own decisions."

I thrust my fingers harder, deeper and faster into her. "Do you like to see me in pain
Granger?"

"Draco... please... I'm.."

Removing my fingers, she lets out a whimper as I push her leg off of me and stand, firmly
wrapping my fingers around her neck. "I asked a question."

"No."
"No what?"

"No," She repeats, her fingers unbuckling my belt and pushing down my trousers. "I don't
like to see you in pain."

I bend down slightly and grab the back of her thighs, her legs wrapping around my
torso. "Every time you put yourself in danger it feels like a piece of me dies." I tell her as I
run my tip along her slit. "The pain you put me through is worse than any torture that has
been inflicted on me." My hips snap into hers, my cock burying deep inside her cunt. Her
head falls back as she lets out a pleasure filled moan.

She pushes my jacket off and rips open my shirt, her nails digging into my back. "You stupid.
Stubborn. Bleeding-heart. Fucking. Witch." I grunt, each word emphasized with a thrust,
each harder and deeper than the previous.

"Oh gods!" She wails. "Don't stop Draco, please."

My teeth dig into her shoulder as her thighs tighten around me. Her moans grow louder and
louder with each snap of my hips.

"Be a good girl for once and cum for me Granger, cum all over my cock."

Her breathing becomes rapid - louder as she inches closer to climax. Grabbing her face, I pull
her lips into mine, swallowing each and every one of her moans. My left arm snakes around
her waist and I hold her close to me as I thrust once more. Her nails draw blood as her walls
tighten around me, her breath catching as we both come undone.

Carefully setting her down, I pick up her clothes and wait for her to steady herself before
handing them to her. As I'm fastening my belt there's a rustling sound behind us. Turning, I
see Potter and Weasley standing at the entrance of the tent, both of their faces full of disgust.

"It's a bloody tent, thin walls." Potter states causing Granger to instantly blush. They both
push past us and head to their quarters of the tent, Weasley angrily closing the makeshift door
made out of a blanket.

"I should probably.." I begin but she grabs my hand and says "Stay."

I'd prefer to not share a twin sized cot but alas here I am doing just that with Granger laying
on top of me, her finger brushing over the scar on my face.

"Who did it?" She asks.

"Take a wild guess."

Her face falls as her eyes scan the rest of my body. "Did he do these too?"

"Most of them, there's a few older ones from my father."

She rests her head down on my chest and my fingers begin brushing through her hair.
"Draco?"

"Hmm?"

"I know it's a ridiculous thing to ask but... could you come back for my birthday?" She asks.
"It's just- I didn't get to spend it with you last year and I'd just really like to-"

"Yes."

Her head instantly lifts. "Really?"

I nod. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you this Granger, I'd do anything for you.
Just tell me what you want of me and I'll do it."
 Chapter 60

September 19 1997

"It looks perfect Mippy, can you box it for me?" She nods her head and rushes off, careful not
to drop the cake while doing so.

"Here's your bloody roses." Theo says, placing them on the table.

"They're not roses, they're peonies." I correct.

He waves his hand, rolls his eyes and says "Whatever, they're flowers. Flowers that were an
absolute bitch to get I must add."

"Would you have preferred to go on the Laughlin assignment?" I question, knowing damn
well he wouldn't have, no one in their right mind would've which is precisely why I assigned
it to Dolohov. I'm sure he reveled every moment of Laughlin's company, a short and
overweight man who prefers to do all meetings in the nude.

"On second thought," Theo adds. "Send me on the piney assignment any time!"

"Peonies."

"Same thing."

"Extremely different things but I don't have the time or patience to educate you." Picking up
the flowers, I inspect them and make sure every last petal is healthy and perfect.

"So you're finally going to do it huh?" He asks, a stupid grin on his face.

"I haven't a clue what you're talking about."

"Don't play daft mate, it doesn't work for you. You're finally going to tell her that you love
her. Draco Malfoy, loving someone and admitting it, a day that will go down in history." His
arm slinging around my shoulders as he pats my chest. "We should throw a party! It only
seems right."

I don't know why he's making such a big deal out of this because I'm certainly not and I'm the
one doing it. All I've done is have Mippy bake her favorite cake, cherry bakewell, got her
favorite flowers and had the books that I got her for Christmas transferred here and placed in
my room to keep safe. I also received the third installation of the Undesirables from
Gainsworth yesterday morning, even amidst a war he's continued writing which is
appreciated. Like I said, I'm not making a big deal.

"So what do you say?" Theo asks. "Party? We can even get more of your penis flowers."

"Now you're just being a prat." I say, pushing his arm off of me. "When was the last time you
got Pans some flowers?"
"I've never gotten her any." He admits. "She's not the type of girl to like things like that." I
raise a brow. "What?"

"Every girl is the type to like flowers, even someone like Pans. Here." I take a single flower
from the bouquet and hand it to him. "You can thank me later, just don't fuck in my room."

Things have been going rather smoothly as of late, even after the mysterious deaths of a few
of our own. Voldemort couldn't be bothered to notice as his attention was stolen away after
the idiot trio destroyed another horcrux. There's some type of connection between him and
the items, a sort of signal is sent, it's like he feels it. I guess it makes sense though, they're
practically extensions of himself. Surprisingly, his reaction was far more tame than when it
was stolen. I don't trust it though.

Talks of using the imperio have only increased, I thought I had a problem with needing
control but no nose has greatly surpassed me.

"So when are you going?" Theo asks, redirecting the conversation back to Granger.

"Later, the dark lord is coming here for a meeting."

"Should I leave?"

I shake my head "That's not necessary, it shouldn't take too long. It's probably just to discuss
recent findings on Grindelwald."

An hour or so has passed when the flames erupt and Voldemort emerges from the fireplace.
I'd say he looks like he's in a bad mood but I'm pretty sure that's just his face.

"My lord." I greet, bowing my head slightly. His gaze shifts over to Theo for a moment then
back to me.

"Lieutenant, I don't think I need to tell you how poorly your subordinates have been
performing." He says. "They've become a rather large embarrassment to me."

"Agreed, sir."

He studies my face and I can feel him trying to access my memories but my occlumency
doesn't give. Voldemort pulls back and takes a slow, steady deep breath. "I believe it's safe to
say that you are the only one I can trust to do what needs to be done." He positions himself
behind me. "You, Draco Malfoy, are my greatest weapon." The warmth of his breath gliding
across the base of my neck.

"It's an honor to be so, my lord."

"Then I hope you will also find what I'm about to do an honor as well." Immediate pain
begins radiating in the center of my back causing me to fall to my knees. "Your occlumency
is extraordinary but I'm afraid it will only interfere with my plans for you."

It feels like every muscle in my body is on fire, every bone breaking only to be healed and
then broken again. I don't know what curse this is but it's ten times the pain of the cruciatus. I
can feel the skin of my back tearing open, it's like a thousand knives digging into me at once.
He wants me to show that it's hurting, to submit under the pain but I can't. My occlumency
has become second nature at this point, a defense mechanism and right now it's in full force.
Theo is stood off to the side, unable to peel his eyes off of me as Voldemort tears my body
apart.

There's a moment of relief, my breathing is heavy and rapid as he steps around and stands in
front of me. He lifts my chin up with the tip of his wand, focuses and pushes his way in but
he's only met by brick wall after brick wall and eventually finds himself in nothing other than
an empty white room.

"You're only making this harder on yourself, Lieutenant."

His wrist flicks back and forth, each motion cutting open a different part of my body. First it
was my shoulder, then my abdomen and lastly the side of my neck. None of them are deep
enough to cause any lasting damage or kill me but are enough to cause my body to redirect
my energy used for occlumency to healing itself. He raises his wand once more and the pain
begins all again.

Hours of my bones being broken, body being cut apart and my skin feeling like it's on fire
and somehow my occlumency still remains strong. Only a few memories were accessed,
none of which were of much importance and nothing that involved Granger.

My head hangs as I still remain on my knees, I'm not even sure how I'm still sitting up as I
barely have the energy to even breathe. Voldemort rests a gentle hand on my shoulder and
says "It will only get easier with time. You are my new project and I intend to see it through
to the end." His footsteps grow faint as he heads for the fireplace. Once the flames erupt,
signaling that he has departed, Theo rushes to my side.

"Fucking hell." His voice full of panic. "We need to get you to a healer - St Mungo's -
somewhere."

"No."

"Mate you're barely hanging on by a thread, we have to do something."

I manage to muster enough strength to lift my head and meet his frantic stare. "Granger." I
say. "Take me to Granger."

"Listen, I know she's brilliant but I don't think she's who you need to be seeing right now." He
argues. "Besides, I don't even know where the lot is."

My hand trembles as I slide the ring off of my finger, my arm barely able to lift as I hold it
out for him. "Turn it clockwise, it will pin their location so you can apparate us." He pushes
my hand away, shakes his head and says "No way, apparating right now could kill you, you
aren't strong enough."

"Theo." My tone stern. "Take me to my fucking girl, please."

He lets out an aggravated huff before grabbing my arm and wrapping it around his shoulders,
an agony filled groan escaping the back of my throat as he helps me to my feet.

"If you die because of this I'll never forgive you."

He's just turned the ring and is about to apparate us but I tell him to stop. Reaching over to
the table I snatch the book and shove it inside of my jacket.

"Okay, now we can go." I tell him.

"I don't think Granger is going to care about some bloody book once she sees the state of
you."

"Theo, I may not be able to stand on my own right now but that won't stop me from killing
you if you don't shut up."

"Even on the verge of death you're still a major twat." He scoffs. "Good to know you'll stay
true until the end."

Apparation has always taken a toll on my body but this time the feeling is unexplainable. My
chest feels so heavy that I can barely draw a single breath and when I do manage I'm met by
an excruciating pain. Theo trips over something causing both of us to fall onto the ground.

"Smooth landing shit head." I jeer.

"Wonderful, you're still alive." He says, wrapping my arm once again around his shoulders
and lifts me up. We stumble our way over to the tent, each step more painful than the last.
Entering the tent, Theo shouts "If any of you are skilled in healing now would be a bloody
brilliant time to speak up!" Potter and Weasley jump up to their feet and immediately begin
asking him questions.

"What the bloody hell happened to him?" Potter asks.

"His body looks like it was glued back together by a toddler." Weasley adds.

"Still better looking than you, Weaslebee." I retort.

Theo drops me onto the floor and begins explaining what happened when all of a sudden the
room falls silent. Slowly, I turn my head to the right and see Granger stood at the entrance, a
pile of sticks in her hands.

"Happy birthday, love." I say with a weak side smile.

Everything falls from her hands as she rushes over to my side, her brows knitting together as
she wraps her arms around me and pulls my head into her lap. "Draco." Her voice breaking.
"What-how-"

"I told you I would come." My hand reaching up to caress her cheek.

"What happened?!" She shoots over at Theo.

"It was Voldemort, he - I don't even know what he did exactly but it went on for hours." He
tells her.

"Harry, grab my bag! There's a vile labeled dittany in there. NOW!!"

"You're beautiful."

Her attention turns back to me, tears now streaming down her face. "Shh Draco, save your
energy. You're going to be alright, okay? I'm going to help you. You're going to be alright."

"So so beautiful." I continue. "I don't think I tell you that enough. My beautiful Granger."

I'm struggling to keep my eyes open, each blink my eyelids becoming heavier and heavier. I
can feel her touch, her hands on my chest, my neck, everywhere. There's a faint sound of
glass clinking and the voices echoing around the room warping. I've only experienced peace
once in my life and this is it. Right here, this exact moment, in the arms of the girl I love.

The muffled sound of her voice is the last thing that I hear.
 Chapter 61

September 20 1997

The sun is shining down, warmth covering every inch of my body. There's a light breeze that
brushes through my hair as the sound of birds chirping echo around us. Her curls form a
messy ball on top of her head, her wand poked through to hold its place. Beauty radiates
from her as she plants the last of the flowers along the front of the cottage, our cottage.

Never in my life did I think a small house composed of bricks, lined with a variation of
flowers and completed with a white picket fence would be a place I'd call home but here I am
and there's nowhere I'd rather be.

"Are you going to just stand there and gawk or are you going to help me?" She asks, the gold
flakes in her eyes more prominent than ever. She pats her hands against her pants to rid them
of the dirt and walks up to me. "What's going on in that head of yours Draco?"

A smile creeps its way across my lips as I shake my head, my thumb brushing the dirt from
her cheek. "Nothing." I say. "You're just beautiful is all."

Blush stains her cheeks as she smiles down at her feet. "You know, the more you say it the
more I begin to wonder if you're lying."

I place my finger underneath her chin, tilting her head back for her to look at me. "I would
never lie to you, especially not about that. You're the most breathtaking thing I've ever seen in
my life Granger." She lifts up on her tippy toes, her lips meeting mine. It's short but enough
to fill my entire body with ecstasy.

"Now enough of the sweet nothings, back to work." She says. "Can you go grab my gloves for
me? They're on the kitchen table."

Stepping inside our house, I take a moment to look over the photos that line our walls.
There's the one of that bloody cat and I in front of a christmas tree from our time at
Hogwarts, a few of us from the trips we've taken, even one of all of her friends and I but the
one that stands out the most to me is the photo hanging above the couch.

She's dressed in a floor length white dress and I in a black tux, it's from our wedding day. The
day that we both promised to love each other forever, through the good and bad, until the day
that we die but the thing is even when I die I'll still love her.

"Draco!" She calls for me, snapping me out of my sappy thoughts. Locating the gloves, I
head back outside.

"Here you go Grang-" I stop in my tracks, the gloves falling from my hands.

"Draco?" Blood is pouring out from her abdomen, staining her hands. Rushing over to her
side, I catch her in my arms just as her knees give out.
"Granger - what- what happened?" My voice breaking as I slowly lower her down to the
ground.

"You weren't there." She says. "Why didn't you come?"

"What? What are you talking about? Come where?"

"Y-you said you'd always come for me." Her voice weak as her breath hitches.

"I don't understand. I'm right here sweetheart, I'm right here."

She lets out one final breath, her chest lowering as her arms fall limp and eyes shut.

"No, no, no, no, no." I lightly shake her body as I beg her to wake up. "Come on love, just
open your eyes for me, can you do that?" No response. "Just open your eyes dammit!" I
shout. "Please Hermione, wake up, you can't leave me."

My eyes snap open as I shoot up, a small pair of hands pressing against my chest.

"Draco, you're fine, you're okay, calm down."

"Granger?" I ask in disbelief as my eyes begin to focus. There she is, staring back at me with
those beautiful eyes of hers. She's alive.

"Yes, it's me." She tells me. "You're alright."

My arms wrap around her and I pull her tightly into my chest, relief washing over me as I
bury my face into her curls. She's alright, she's safe, she's alive. Apparently there was the
same amount of concern over whether I'd live as well. Granger goes on to explain to me my
current condition and everything she had done to try and heal me but I'm not retaining any of
the information, all I can think about is that dream.

Everything felt so real, especially the last part. I already knew that I loved her and that if
anything were to happen to her it would destroy me but I've never taken the time to think
about our future, not truly. I knew that I always wanted her in it, that I wanted to be by her
side through everything but marriage never crossed my mind.

I can probably blame my parents for that, their relationship was enough to deter me away
from love as a whole let alone marriage. But now, sitting here in some tent in the middle of
the woods amidst a bloody war all I can think about is marrying this woman. Theo would
probably smack me across the face if I ever told him, he'd tell me that I'm being impulsive,
that we're still young and have our whole lives to get married but that's the thing.

No one's life is guaranteed, especially not during a time like this. I'm not saying I'm going to
be getting down on one knee anytime soon, at least not for that specific reason, but my
outlook has changed. I would still die for her if that's what it took to keep her safe but now
I'm fighting for more than just her survival, I'm fighting for ours, for our future.

I still feel weak but I am able to stand on my own without assistance now. As I'm putting on
the rest of my clothes I realize something is missing. As if she could read my mind Granger
says "It's over on the table. Don't worry, I didn't open it. I figured we didn't need a repeat
from last time."

Walking over to the table I pick up the book and hand it to her. "Happy birthday, love."

She smiles and thanks me as she lets out a small giggle. Taking the present in her hands, her
fingers begin unwrapping the paper that covers it. "The third Undesirables." She gasps, her
fingers grazing over the cover. "I hadn't realized he was coming out with another."

"Yes, well, it's a bit hard to keep up with the latest literary news when you're on the run." I
tease which earns a playful slap to my arm. It kind of hurt if I'm being honest but she doesn't
need to know that. The last thing I need is for her to feel bad about hurting me after saving
my life. "Open it." I tell her.

She turns to the first page, tears filling her eyes as she reads over the inscription.

"Y-you do?" She asks, looking up at me. "I mean, I had a feeling but you never actually said
it so I didn't-"

"Yes. Of course I do." My hand caressing her cheek. "I love you, Hermione Granger. Gods do
I love you. I love you with every fucking bone in my body. I love you so much that it causes
me physical pain. My entire life I believed I was a man incapable of both being loved and
loving but then you came along. It terrifies me how much I love you, the things that I would
do to keep you safe. I would sacrifice my own life for you, Hermione."

When she kisses me it feels like my brain is on fire, flooded with a sensation I haven't
experienced in well over a year - emotions. It's only one and it feels good but I'm drowning in
it. Whatever Voldemort did to me worked, at least slightly. It takes everything in me not to
break under the weight of it all but I don't want to worry her. I can patch my occlumency
back up, put everything back where it belongs and rebuild the walls but right now I want to
enjoy this as much as I can.

September 28 1997

Voldemort has continued with his work on me but thankfully it appears the first session was
the worst of it. Don't get me wrong, it's still annoying and painful but it's manageable. My
occlumency is the strongest it's ever been but I've led him to believe that his plan is working
by slowly allowing him access to other memories of mine. Most include times from when I
was younger, of my father giving me his own "lessons" and a few from my years at Hogwarts
but never of her.

When I last saw the lot I informed them of how Voldemort seems to physically react when a
horcrux is destroyed, how it seems to almost weaken him in a way. Potter and Weasley's
brains had a hard time comprehending that piece of information so they're damn lucky they
have Granger. I swear, if she wasn't around the two of them would've been dead a long time
ago which I really would have preferred but alas here we are.
I've just stepped into my office when I feel a shock come from my ring. I immediately pin her
location and apparate. They've changed locations but they're still opting in for the whole
forest theme which I really hate if I'm being honest. There's so many damn bugs and I always
leave with mud covering my boots, it takes Mippy ages to clean them when I return home.

Stepping into the tent I rush over to Granger and grab her shoulders. "What is it? What's
wrong? Did snatchers come by again?"

"No, nothing like that." She says.

"Then what is it? Why did you send an alert?"

"I just wanted to see how you were doing."

My head drops as I let out a deep breath. "Granger, that's really not what I gave you that
bracelet for."

"I know but I get worried, especially after the condition you were in that one day."

I get it. Maybe having Theo take me to her when it looked like my limbs were barely attached
to my body wasn't the best idea but I had to be there, I couldn't miss another one of her
birthdays but for fucks sake. This is third time in the past eight days she has done this, at least
one of the times there was some sort of information. Snatchers had been sniffing around their
old campsite, I tried to follow their tracks but ended up losing them a few kilometers out.

"I'm fine, see." I say, stepping back so she can get a full view of my body. "Two legs, two
arms, head attached to my body and a heart that's all yours. Everything is how it should be."

Even then she still insists on running a diagnostics and taking a closer look, I think she just
wanted me to take my clothes off. She should know by now that all she has to do is ask.
Giving in for the sake of soothing her mind, I sit through her little evaluation. Once she's
done applying some dittany to the new marks I received yesterday I fill her in on the latest
back home.

"Freckles said to let you know that she's fine, her and Longbottom have been working
together to fight back against the Carrows. I offered to just kill them but she seemed opposed
to the idea which is boring." I tell her. "We're still working on locating Grindelwald and I still
don't have any details on what it is Voldemort exactly wants from him."

Granger takes note of everything so that she can relay it to the two knobheads when they get
back. She then goes on to give me their updates which isn't shit. Weasley has been listening
to a radio, Potter has been kicking himself for being the failure I always knew he was and
Granger has been reading, all in all everything seems to be the exact same.

I spend a few more minutes not talking about anything war related and just enjoy her
company, checking in to see how she's holding up. She says she's fine but it's obvious to
anyone with a single brain cell that she isn't but she will never admit that, her and I are
similar in that way which others could argue is bad but I find it comforting. Eventually I tell
her that I need to get going due to some work I have which isn't a lie but I also just don't want
to see Potter and Weasley's faces if I don't have to.

As I'm about to leave I turn to her and say "I love you, Granger."

"I love you too Draco."

Gods, I will never grow tired of hearing that.

 Chapter 62
Chapter Notes

I would like to dedicate a certain part of this chapter to my lovely ladies, you know who
you are and I'm certain you can pinpoint which part I'm referring to.

October 15 1997

"I have to give it to you Potter, you have a true talent of coming up with the dumbest fucking
ideas."

"I don't see how it's dumb." He argues.

"Where to even begin?" I mock. "Let's start off with the fact that Godric's Hollow is
the first place he had me send soldiers to."

"How many are on watch at a time?"

"Upwards of fifteen."

"Would you be able to get us past them?" Weasley asks.

"Obviously." I scoff, offended that there was even a hint of doubt in my skills.

"Draco." Granger's voice soft as she grabs my hand. Hell no. I know exactly what she's doing
right now. "Will you get us past them?"

I let out a groan as I lean back into my chair. "Granger, in order for this plan to work it
sounds like I'll have to actually put in effort and you know how much I loathe that."

"Please? For me?" She asks, batting her eyelashes. What a devious little witch and what a
weak fucking man I am for caving.

"Fine." I groan. "But not yet, there's some things I need to get in order first. I'll let you know
when we can go on our little field trip."

October 27 1997

I've had Theo pulled from his France assignment which he was not at all excited about. He'll
get over it. I need him here, not that he's of any use skill wise but he's someone I can trust to
do what's necessary should things go sideways.
This whole escapade to Godric's hollow is already a major pain in my arse. I've had to
completely rearrange the shifts so that the most dull-witted ones are on guard when we go. I
did, however, leave a few of the higher skilled ones just to keep things interesting for myself,
it's so boring when there's no challenge.

I've also put Theo on watch so that, if by some miracle, the other death eaters manage to find
their competence I have some sort of assistance. Gods knows Potter and Weasley wouldn't be
able to hit a target even if it was standing completely still, blockheads.

November 3 1997

"If you're lost on any part of the plan, let me know."

Potter slowly raises his hand and says "I'm lost."

"Thanks for letting me know, moving on."

"What the hell Malfoy?"

"I told you to let me know, I didn't say I'd do anything about it." I tell him. "Now, if you
wouldn't mind shutting your oddly shaped mouth there's a few more things I need to go over."

Once I've finished explaining everything from start to finish Potter and Weasley break off to
go get ready, I hope their getting ready involves them turning their brains on. Granger is
sitting beside me, watching as I sharpen my knives. The way she's looking at me reminds me
of how first years would stare at any of the older kids at the table in the great hall - complete
awestricken.

"Remember this one?" I smirk, holding up the knife I once trailed along her bare skin. Her
cheeks turn bright red as she bites down on her bottom lip. I would gladly bend her over this
table right now but fuckwit one and two were repulsed just from overhearing last time so I
doubt they'd be able to endure watching. Shame for them, perhaps they'd be able to learn a
thing or two, not that they'd ever find a girl desperate enough.

"Do you ever miss using your wand?" She asks me.

"Yes and no. Yes because it takes far less work and no because there's something extremely
satisfying about feeling the blade tear through their limbs."

"You scare me sometimes."

"No need for that, I would never leave a single mark on your body." I say, titling her chin
with the flat edge of my knife. "Unless you requested it of me." Leaning in, I run my hand up
her inner thigh, bring my mouth to her ear and whisper "I remember how much you squirmed
underneath my knife, it's almost like you wanted me to cut you." Her muscles tense and she
takes a sharp inhale as I trail my fingers between her legs, just barely avoiding her slit. "Is
that what you wanted, love? For me to cut you?"
"I-" The word catching in the back of her throat.

"All set!" Potter announces as he rejoins us. His eyes dart down to where my hand is and his
face instantly twists in disgust. "Oh - fuck off- are you serious right now?"

"Hey scarhead, keep your four eyes up here." I tell him. Weasley walks in next and his eyes
do the same damn thing. "Do you two want me to kill you?"

"If you did you'd only be killing yourself in the process, remember the vow?" Weasley says, a
smug look on his face.

"That would be a sacrifice I'm willing to make, Weaslebee."

Granger swats my hand away and stands, clearing her throat before speaking. "If everyone is
ready then let's get going, yeah?"

The streets are dark, a single lamp post providing just enough light to illuminate the death
eaters patrolling this block. I turn to face them and say "Alright, stick to the plan and you just
might walk away with all of your limbs still attached." They nod their heads and remain in
place as I move forward.

Using the darkness to my advantage, I creep my way up to the first pair of death eaters. I
position myself behind the one on the left and swiftly break his neck, the other turns as soon
as he hears the body drop which only leads to him impaling himself on the tip of my blade.
"Oops, how did that get there?" I say, twisting it once before shoving his body off. I signal for
the three of them to move up and wait until they settle into the alley nearby before continuing
down the street.

The same process takes place for the next three blocks, myself picking the soldiers off one by
one and the heroic golden trio inching their way forward. We've finally reached our
destination and I just finished driving my knife up just behind the man's chin when Potter
joins me at my side.

"This- this is where it happened." He says. "This is where he killed my parents."

"An unfortunate day for us all Potter." I tell him as I wipe the blood off my blade and place it
back in my holster.

"Really?"

"Yes because somehow you lived and we haven't heard the end of it since. Voldemort always
goes on about how that was his biggest failure and I couldn't agree more."

"Do you have a single sensitive bone in your body Malfoy?"

"No and thank merlin for that or else I'd be a frail human like you." I call forward Granger
and Weasley and remind them of the plan. "You're all to stay behind me at all times, no
wandering about the house. Theo is inside with two other soldiers, once we've disposed of
them then you can go look for whatever it is you wanted."
Granger steps directly behind me and the other two behind her. Entering the house, I scan the
front area before carefully proceeding down the hall. No one. As we're in the kitchen Potter
of course gets distracted and breaks off from the group.

"Potter, what part of staying behind me did you not understand?" I whisper.

He bends down and picks up a feather from the ground. "This is one of Hedwig's." He says,
as if I care. "She must have come here. It doesn't make sense though, why would she? I've
never brought her here before."

"Can I see that?"

"Why? Are you going to use it to kill someone?" He mocks as he hands it to me. "Even you
couldn't manage something like that."

"Your words wound me Potter, therefor I accept the challenge."

"It wasn't a challenge Malfoy."

"It is now."

Once we reach the second level I make eye contact with Theo who is in the room at the end
of the hall. His eyes dart to the left and then to the right to inform me of the other two death
eater's positions. Making my way over to him, I stop just outside the doorway.

"Wait here." I instruct before looking back over at Theo. I give him a small nod to let him
know that I'm ready and he does the same. Stepping into the room I say "Evening,
gentleman." Avery and Thomson both turn around, Theo steps to his left and buries his knife
into Avery's neck while I take out the feather, run the vane between my fingers to smooth it
out and slash it along the mid of Thomson's neck.

As his hands fly up to his throat and blood begins to spill out I lunge forward, grab him by
the base of the neck and drive the shaft of the feather deep into his left eye. With both
soldiers now dead on the floor I inform Potter, Weasley and Granger that they can come in.
 (art by imperiness)

"Bloody hell." Potter's eyes widen as he stares down at Thomson. "You actually did it."

"Anything is sharp enough to kill someone if you're smart enough." I casually say. "You all
have around fifteen minutes before the next shift starts so get a move on." As they all
disperse I hang back with Theo.

"So what are they even looking for?" He asks me.

"Fuck if I know." I shrug. "I'm beginning to think this was just for Potter to reminisce."

"What a twat."

"You're telling me."

"I can hear the both of you." Potter says, peeking his head back into the room.

"Good, I was hoping you could." Theo smirks.

Theo and I continue talking, he tells me about how he finally came to his senses and bought
Pansy some flowers the other day, she loved it, just like I said she would. I don't understand
why no one ever trusts my advice. He goes on to inform me on how she and Blaise are both
doing.

Blaise is currently in Russia working with Karkaroff and Pans is still at the ministry. I've
done the best I could on my end to keep them off of any assignments that would draw too
much attention to either of them just as I have with Theo. Keeping their faces and names out
of the Daily Prophet to aide in hiding their association with the death eaters is the least I can
do. When all of this finally ends and we're all put on trial, the less evidence they have of their
involvement the better odds the three of them have at staying out of Azkaban. As for myself,
I already know I'm fucked and there's not much I can do about it.

"You've got this whole partnership with the order though, couldn't that earn you some
clemency?" He asks.

I'm about to answer him when an alarm begins blaring throughout the house. The both of us
rush out of the room and locate them in a bedroom down the hall, Potter is stood by an open
window.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask.

"I didn't know it would set off an alarm!"

Pushing him aside, I look out the window to see around thirty death eaters approaching the
house. "You're just as dumb as you look Potter." I ridicule. "Theo, head downstairs and
inform them that there was a break in. Once they begin sweeping the house apparate back to
the manor." He nods his head before rushing downstairs.

Turning back to Potter and Granger I ask "Where's Weaslebee?"

"He's downstairs." Granger says. "We have to go get him!" She attempts to run out the door
but I pull her back.

"We will but we need to be smart about this, okay?"

"Okay."

"Same plan as when we got here, stay behind me and no wandering."

As we reach the first floor I can hear the faint sound of Theo's voice from outside as he talks
to the other death eaters. Carefully, I begin searching the rooms for Weaslebee but he seems
to have completely disappeared. Next time I'm putting a leash on him. Just as we reach the
living room the front door breaks open and hexes begin flying towards us. I grab Potter and
Granger by the back of their shirts and pull them behind the wall. Potter retrieves his wand
from his pocket but I push his hand down.

"You're not going to be able to expelliarmus your way out of this one." I tell him, the window
behind us shattering as a curse hits it.

"I thought you said you were all trained to use knives instead of wands!" He shouts.

"We were but not all of those soldiers are from my sector." Poking my head around the
corner, I see Dolohov closing in on us. "Time to go, grab onto my arm." I tell them.

"But what about Ron?!" Granger asks.

"We'll be of no use to him if we're dead so grab onto my arm!"

Once both of them grip onto me I apparate us out of the house and back to their tent.

"Right." I say, patting the dust off of my jacket. "I'd say that was a successful mission."

"We left Ron!" Potter shouts at me.

"Like I said, a successful mission."

Granger walks up to me, hand on hip which is giving me far too many flashbacks from our
time at school and says "Go back and get him Draco! If he dies then your vow will be
broken."

"I'd argue that I did my best at protecting you all, it's not my fault the shit for brains
wandered off."

"Draco..."

I throw my head back and roll my eyes as I let out an exasperated groan. "Finee! But I can't
promise he'll come back in one piece."

Once I get back to the house I begin kicking down every door until I find gingerfuck in a
closet.

"This is fitting." I smirk. "I'm so proud of you for finally coming to terms."

"Malfoy." He sneers. "Figured you would have left without me."

"I did."

There's a loud crash from upstairs and I hear Dolohov shout for everyone to check the first
floor again. Reaching down, I drag Weaslebee up to his feet by the front of his shirt and
apparate us out. If we were at Hogwarts I'd say this would earn Slytherin at least 100 points.
 Chapter 63

November 4 1997

"It was Grindelwald, he's the one who stole the elder wand." Granger informs us as she
places a book down on the table. "This is why Voldemort has you tracking him down."

"And the elder wand is?" I ask, raising a brow.

"Only the most powerful wand in the world you numpty." Weasley adds.

"I should have left you back in Godric's hollow."

"Can we focus please?" Granger says. "Draco, what exactly does Voldemort want you to do
once you find him?"

"Kill him."

"Yeah, I could've answered that one for you Hermione." Potter says.

Granger smacks him on the back of the head, which very much so turned me on, and takes
the seat beside me.

"You can't kill him Draco."

"Love, I think after last night I've proven that I am very much capable of doing so."

She shakes her head. "No, that's not what I meant. You can't kill Grindelwald because if he's
the owner of the elder wand and you kill him then his allegiance will then turn to you."

"What if I just say no?" I suggest. "Just tell the stick that I'm not its mother and want nothing
to do with it."

Her head falls into her hands as she takes a deep breath. The table begins lightly shaking as
her leg begins rapidly bouncing, she's stressed. Placing my hand on her thigh to calm her I
say "I'm sorry, I'll stop with the wit. Talk to me Granger." As her eyes meet mine again, I
brush my thumb across her cheek.

"Voldemort and Harry's wand share a feather from the phoenix Fawkes." She begins. "He
knows that if he wishes to beat Harry in a duel he would need something far more powerful.
If you become the owner of the elder wand he'd kill you."

Well that's some shit luck. Perhaps I should have been worse at my job. I just have to be great
at everything that I do, huh? There's nothing that I can say or do to make her feel better right
now. My orders are simple, locate Grindelwald and execute. This is also probably a bad time
to tell her that I'll be away for a bit but here goes nothing.

"Bulgaria?!" Her words full of disbelief.

I nod. "My father arrived there this morning. He's getting everything in order but I'm to
oversee everything else."

"When do you leave? How long will you be gone?"

"Tomorrow and I'm not sure, a few months maybe?"

Her leg is bouncing again, she's biting her nails and I can see the strain in her eyes as she tries
to hold back her tears. I look over at Potter and Weasley and tilt my head to the side,
gesturing for them to give us some space. For once, they listen and leave us be.

"Granger, look at me." Her head lifts, I lower her hand from her face and tuck her hair behind
her ear. "Everything will be fine. I may not be able to come see you as often but this changes
nothing. I made that bracelet for a reason, whenever you need me I will always come, no
matter how far away I am. Whatever you need, just say the word and it's yours."

"What if you get hurt? What if Voldemort hurts you again and you're too far away and I can't
help you?" Her voice shaking.

"Love," I smile, taking her hand. "The only person in the world who is capable of truly
hurting me is you. Everything else is simply an inconvenience."

Most of the night was spent with her body latched onto mine. She held me in a way that she
never has before, it was like she was trying to memorize every inch of my body, every curve,
every scar and I was very much doing the same. I have no intentions of this being my last
time seeing her, I plan on experiencing moments like these for the rest of my life but I'll
gladly take any chance I can to hold her.

It's nearing three in the morning, Granger has been asleep on top of me for the last five hours
and as much as it pains me, it's time for me to go. Gently, I lift her small body up and rest her
carefully back down on the cot. Pulling the blanket up to cover her, I lean down, kiss her on
the forehead and whisper "I love you, Hermione."

Sofia, Bulgaria

"Ah! Draco, you've arrived. I hope you don't mind my use of your first name, I know proper
titles should be used but you've always felt like family to me."

"Not at all, Mr. Viktor." I say, shaking his hand.

"Your father is already at the Council of Ministers building. We'll be joining him shortly but I
first wanted to show you around our headquarters here."

He goes on to give me the grand tour of his home which now houses several death eaters
from all sectors as we begin our expansion in Bulgaria. I don't know why he's doing so as I've
been to his place many of times but he's an alright man so I'll entertain it.
"Everything looks great." I tell him as we round back to the living quarters. "I'll be checking
the wards later and implementing a few of my own as well."

"Of course, by all means." His lips curve up into a smile as he places a hand on my shoulder.
"I'm very proud of you, son. I always knew you were going to go on to do great things.
You're a very impressive young man, especially for your age."

"Thank you, Mr. Viktor."

He just stands there and smiles at me for a few seconds too long before finally removing his
hand from me. He's always been a good family friend but I'd still prefer it if he refrained from
ever touching me again. Mr. Viktor guides me down the hall and stops in front of a door, his
hand reaches for the handle as he says "This is where you will be staying, it's the largest guest
sweet within the house and your belongings have already been brought up." He informs me
that the house elves come by every morning to clean and that if I need anything washed to
just leave it on the bed. I'm about to offer him my thanks when I hear the door open again.

"Hello lover."

Every. Damn. Time. This is by far the cruelest form of punishment. Somebody please kill
me.

Turning, my lips pulled into a tight and forced smile, I greet her. "Katya, always a painful
time seeing you."

"I know, it must be terribly hard to restrain yourself around me." She says, not caring that her
father is still in the room. She isn't wrong though, it is terribly hard to restrain myself when
around her, every muscle in my body wants to rip her throat out.

"Well, I'll leave you two to catch up." Her father says, walking over to the door. "We'll be
leaving in ten minutes so meet me downstairs then." As soon as the door clicks shut the
Bulgarian princess prances her annoying little arse over to where I'm stood.

"I've been an awfully good girl as of late, Dray."

"I find that very hard to believe, Katya."

"I've kept your little secret, haven't I?" She says.

"This is true, impressive I must say considering we both know how hard it is for you to keep
your mouth shut."

"Well you did always say you liked it wide open."

I'm going to vomit. The biggest mistake I ever made in my life was not becoming a death
eater or killing people, no, it was ever laying a single finger on this girl. From the moment I
did I sentenced myself to a life full of nausea. Maybe this is the world's way of punishing me
for all of my wrongdoings, I think I'd rather spend the rest of my life in Azkaban with the
dementors.
"How is little miss Granger doing anyways?" Katya asks as she sits on the edge of the bed.
Note to self, request new sheets and have those ones burned.

"We both know you don't care so let's get straight to it. Are you going to try and blackmail
me again? We both know how that went last time."

"I don't want anything." She tells me. "I heard you were going to be staying with us for a bit
so I just wanted to say hello. We did use to be friends at one time, in case you forgot."

"I wouldn't have ever classified us as friends but whatever helps you sleep at night I guess."

She lets out a sigh as she gets up to her feet. "What I'm trying to say is-"

"Oh good, you're still talking."

"What I'm trying to say is." Her tone full of annoyance. "I'm sorry, I can be a bit of a bitch
sometimes."

"You don't say?" I mock.

"You make it extremely hard to be around you. Always such a dick."

"And yet you still won't leave me alone, clearly I'm doing something wrong. I'll have to set
aside some time to reevaluate."

Pushing up my sleeve, I check my watch to see that I have less than three minutes to get
downstairs. I've been here for less than an hour and I'm already hating it here and I haven't
even seen my father yet. It's official, this is my punishment. I personally don't think anything
that I've done has been that bad.

"I have to meet your father downstairs so it's time for you to leave and preferably, never come
back." I say, holding the door open for her. She rolls her eyes as she saunters over and out of
my room. I close the door behind me and cast a quick ward to keep her and everyone else out.
As I'm about to walk down the stairs I say "Oh and Katya, if you even say her name again I'll
make good on my last threat."
 Chapter 64

November 13 1997

I've been in Bulgaria for a little over a week now. Even with all the work that I've been doing
I've still somehow managed to find time to miss Granger. Katya for the most part has left me
alone which is smart of her because I'm afraid I'm all out of patience, not that I really had any
to begin with. It's very clear to me why I had to come and oversee the operations here
because I have yet to meet a single intelligent individual.

Mr. Viktor provided me with a translator my first day and the short bastard was just
embarrassing to listen to, I fired him an hour later and reminded Mr. Viktor that I do in fact
speak Bulgarian, he was the one who taught me it after all. He apologized and said he wasn't
aware if I would want to bother with it which I guess could be seen as thoughtful but the less
people I have to interact with the better. Both he and my father have been rather preoccupied
with each other which has been a saving grace.

Building the relation with the muggle Bulgarians took no time at all. A few compliments on
their land and charming words to their wives and we had reached an agreement, muggles are
so predictable.

December 1 1997

I am extremely bored. It's been, what? A month or so since I've been able to do anything fun.
My days are filled with meetings with one prat just to jump into another with an even bigger
prat. If I'm not doing that I'm teaching those in other sectors common sense, tell me why I
know how to do their jobs better than they do.

Voldemort is set to visit in two weeks time which means I have fourteen days to try and make
this lot at least appear to be capable of carrying out simple tasks. If I have to explain the
proper way to fill out a report one more time I just might start killing everyone, I told them
that too, they thought I was joking. Like I said, morons.

December 15 1997

Silence falls across the room as the fireplace erupts and Voldemort steps out, everyone lowers
their head as I approach him.
"My lord."

"Lieutenant. I presume things have been going smoothly?" He asks.

"Yes, let me show you the grounds."

We begin making our way across the room as I fill him in on the latest updates, everything
from day to day operations and also the recent agreements we had signed with the muggles
last week. Once we round the corner and reach the study he instructs me to close the door and
lock it.

"You've done well with what you were given Lieutenant General Malfoy, I expected nothing
less from you."

"Thank you, my lord."

"But I'm afraid your talents are being wasted here." He says as he slowly approaches me.
"Dolohov has performed well but he lacks the... efficiency that you possess. You will train
and prepare the soldiers over the next few days but come end of next week you will return to
your original post."

"Understood."

He focuses his gaze on me and I can feel it, he's trying to access my memories. Just like I
have in the past, I provide him with a few meaningless ones but there's something different
this time. It's like his legilimency has gone into overdrive, it feels like he's cutting my head
open from the inside. He's managed to reach the back walls, the space I've safely stored
Granger and everything involving The Order. He's scratching, pounding and tearing down the
walls but for each brick he removes I lay three more. After what feels like a lifetime, he
breaks the connection.

"Your occlumency goes much deeper than you led me to believe." Voldemort says, raising his
wand and immediately casting a crucio. The exhaustion from actively combating his
legilimency has worn my body down, causing me to drop to my knees. "It's unfortunate that I
must weaken you like this but I'm sure you understand."

The crucio lifts granting me a few seconds of relief only to then be met by the same
excruciating pain from the first time he did this. As I'm hunched over on the ground, every
inch of my body on fire, all I can think about is her. The sound of her voice, the way her curls
dance behind her as she walks, the way her body feels against mine. The pain reaches an
unbearable level causing me to topple over which only makes him increase the pain.

I want Granger. I want my girl. I want Hermione.

December 16 1997
I feel my bed shake and a muffled voice saying "Wake up. Wake up!" One more harsh shake
and my eyes snap open, I attempt to sit up but end up falling back down in pain "Pathetic."
My father scoffs as he hovers above me. "I hope you enjoyed your beauty sleep."

"What time is it?" I ask.

"10:30 am, you've been out since 6 yesterday. You've once again embarrassed me
tremendously, son."

Slowly, I push through the pain, sit up and take in my surroundings. I'm in the guest room, I
don't ever remember coming up here. My shirt is missing but I'm still in the same pants I
wore yesterday. How the hell did I get here?

"Every single one of your subordinates heard your pitiful screams yesterday." My father tells
me as he walks over to the dresser and picks up one of my knives. "You're meant to be a
leader, a Lieutenant General for fucks sake!" His words laced with disgust as he spits them
out at me. "You're a Malfoy, you are not permitted to show weakness and yet that's precisely
what you did."

He walks back over to the side of my bed and buries the blade into my upper thigh, it hurts
but after yesterday it's comparable to a paper cut. I don't flinch or wince, I know better. I keep
my eyes trained on his hate filled ones while he twists and buries it deeper.

"The dark lord has chosen you to be his right hand man, the one he can rely on to remain
strong and keep others in line. Tell me son, how do you expect others to follow your lead
after they all witnessed how truly pathetic you are?"

I remain silent. Nothing I say would make a difference and even though his words were
formed as a question, he doesn't want a response.

"Don't think I haven't taken notice to all of the mysterious deaths of our own Draco. Only a
fool would fail to realize it's your handiwork all over them and I am no fool." He removes his
hand from the handle but leaves the knife lodged into my leg as he takes a step back and
readjusts his jacket. "I don't know what it is you're up to but I assure you, I will find out."

My father shows himself out, slamming the door behind him. Pulling the knife from my leg
and tossing it onto the ground, I get up to my feet and stumble my way into the bathroom. As
I rinse off my newly acquired wound I focus my attention on the steady rhythm of Granger's
pulse against my finger.

Just a few more days and I go back, a few more days and I can see her again. I haven't
received any alerts from her since being here which should be a good thing but I often find
myself distracted by the absence. Several times a day I'd stop to check to make sure she was
still alive, it's very out of character for her to not be pressing down on that damn bracelet for
no reason. It's probably for the best that she hasn't today though considering my current
condition but damn do I wish she'd call for me just for a stupid hug.

After I finish cleaning and wrapping my leg, I change into fresh clothes, make my way
downstairs and gather the appropriate individuals. They're looking at me with such
commiseration and it makes me want to hurl.

"Spare me the pity filled looks, it's insulting." I scoff. "I received orders from the dark lord
yesterday that I am to return to the main headquarters next week which means I only have a
few days to whip your sorry arses into shape, a seemingly impossible task but lucky for you,
I love a good challenge."

I grab the bag of various knives off of the table, throw it down in front of their feet and say
"Many of you are familiar with these but let's not mistake familiarity for capability." They all
just stand there staring at the bag like it's about to explode any moment until finally, one of
them steps forward.

"What's your name soldier?"

"H-henry Trotley, sir." He stammers

"Trotley you say?" I take a step towards him. "You wouldn't happen to be related to Elizabeth
Trotley of operations would you?"

"Y-yes sir. She's my mother."

Oh this is brilliant. First I had the hag spying on me back at Hogwarts when I was courting
Astoria and now I have to deal with her blundering son. I've said it once and I'll say it again,
this job blows.

"Well congratulations Trotley, you're up first." I tell him, dropping a knife in his hand.

December 22 1997

"Are you trying to seduce me or are you trying to kill me?" I ask, smacking the kid across the
cheek. "Stop batting your fucking eyelashes and stab me Trotley."

He lunges forward, his free arm flailing about off to the side. Stepping over to the left, I grip
his left wrist and twist his arm around to his back.

"If your goal was to obtain a broken arm then you succeeded." I tell him before shoving him
forward. Another one of the soldiers, Newman, let's out a laugh as Trotley stumbles to the
ground, my eyes immediately shoot over to him.

"Something amusing, Newman?"

His smile instantly disappears and shoulders roll back. "No, Lieutenant."

"Step forward." I command. Once he and Trotley are stood next to one another I move over
to the side and instruct for them to begin.
As Newman looks over at me for clarification Trotley wastes no time in getting started, his
fist connecting with the side of his jaw causing him to fall onto the ground. Trotley then
proceeds to get on top of him and press the edge of his knife into his neck.

Approaching the pair, I stare down at Newman who looks like he's ready to piss his pants
"Execute, soldier." Newman's eyes go wide and fill with terror.

Trotley glances up at me and says "Sir?"

"Did I stutter? Execute."

He turns his attention back to the man underneath him, hand shaking and knuckles turning
white as his grip tightens around the handle.

"Please." Newman begs.

"Get up Trotley." As soon as he does, I crouch down in front of Newman. "Are you alright?"
I ask, he nods his head. "Good, good. Let me help you up." I hold out my hand and he
hesitantly accepts it, assisting him up to his feet I turn to face the rest of the group.

"Lesson for the day soldiers, if you're going to beg you better pray they show no mercy and
kill you because if they don't and I find out, I'll kill you myself." Slipping the knife from my
thigh holster, I puncture the side of his neck, blood instantly spurting out as he drops down to
the floor. Shit, now I have to fill out even more paperwork. Maybe Granger was onto
something when she said I'm too quick to violence, whatever.

December 25 1997

Snow covers every inch of land around me, the ground, trees and now my boots. There's a
small crunching sound as I trek my way through. I never thought I'd be so happy to see a tent
in my life, every muscle in my body relaxing as relief washes over me. There's a faint sound
of voices and as much as I wish the two knobheads had somehow managed to get themselves
killed it's comforting to know that she hasn't been alone this entire time.

Stepping inside, I see the three of them sat around the table, a makeshift Christmas dinner
spread out in front of them. When her eyes meet mine I forget how to breathe, my mind goes
hazy and bones turn to complete liquid, it's a miracle I'm still able to stand.

"Happy Christmas, Granger."

 Chapter 65

January 23 1998

"Granger, we've talked about this countless times, you can't be keep abusing that bracelet." I
groan as I fall down onto her cot. I lift my head as she sits beside me and rest it back down in
her lap. She's sent an alert every other day ever since I came back on Christmas. I'm glad she
missed me but this is starting to get out of hand.

"I'm sorry." She says, brushing her fingers through my hair. "What were you doing?"

"Just a meeting." I shrug, closing my eyes to enjoy my first downtime in weeks.

I can feel the rough texture of the sleeve of her sweater rubbing against my cheek. "A
meeting that involved blood?" She asks. I don't even need to open my eyes to know that she's
giving me her signature look of disapproval.

"It was a rather tedious meeting so if you don't mind turning that brain of yours off for a few
minutes, I'd quite enjoy a nice nap." She's not saying anything but I can feel the heavy rise
and fall of her chest, this woman is incapable of relaxing for even one second. Letting out an
exaggerated sigh, I open my eyes, look up at her and ask "What is it Granger?"

"Did you find her yet? Luna?"

Ah yes, Lovegood, should have figured that's what this was about. Granger has completely
moved past the fact that I kill people around the clock and has now begun to hyperfixate on
the well-being and whereabouts of her beloved former classmate. I have nothing personally
against the girl and if I had to be honest, she doesn't deserve what they're most likely doing to
her but this whole tracking her down has consumed an awful lot of my time, time I could be
spending with my head resting in Granger's lap, or between her legs, whichever she allows.

"Yes." I reply.

"And?"

"Can I at least take my nap first?"

"Draco." The word sounding more like a warning than my name.

"Fine." I say, sitting up. "But don't go getting all mad at me when I get cranky because you
wouldn't allow me a few minutes of rest."

"You're always cranky." She argues.

"Careful love," I smirk. "You know how much I love it when you call me out like that. I can
show you just how much, if you'd like?" Leaning in, I turn her head and begin kissing along
her neck.
"Luna." She whispers.

"Wrong blonde." I hum against her skin while my right hand travels up her thigh.

"No Draco, Luna.."

"Is quickly becoming my least favorite topic." I say as I drop my head onto her shoulder. Her
hands gently push me back so that I'm looking at her again. With her arms now crossed and
an impatient brow raised, she waits for me to speak.

"She's fine Granger and by fine I mean alive, I don't have all the details on her physical state
and as for her mental – well, would we honestly be able to tell the difference?" Granger balls
her hand into a fist and punches my arm, actually punches it. I don't know where this hostility
has come from but I'm enjoying it tremendously.

"Do you know where they're holding her?" She asks.

"For the past few weeks she was with the rest of the lot in London but they're moving her in
the next week or so."

"Where?"

"Are you going to punch me again if I don't answer?"

"No but I might take after you and hold one of your knives to your neck until you do."

"Gods I love you." Both of my hands flying up to my chest and resting over my heart. "Please
threaten me for the rest of my life."

"Draco please focus."

"And now you're begging too? Fucking hell Granger, how do you expect me to give a single
shit about Lovegood when all I want to do right now is bury myself between your legs?"

"Draco!" She shouts.

"Okay, okay." I surrender. "She's going to be moved to the manor, most likely in the
dungeons with the others."

"What others?"

"No one worth mentioning."

"Tell me." She demands. Seems like someone else is the cranky one today. I can't blame her
though, I'd be irritable too if I had been shacking up with the two dumbest people on earth for
weeks on end.

"Some goblin and the wand bloke."

"Mr. Ollivander?!"
"Sure."

Now she's pacing – back and forth and back and forth and merlin I'm going to get dizzy if I
keep watching this.

"You have to get them out, all of them." She tells me.

"Granger, I really don't-"

"If you don't then I will!"

"Absolutely fucking not." My jaw tightening as I stand. "You won't be going anywhere near
the manor."

"Then it looks like you have some planning to do."

How the hell did I get myself in this position? I knew relationships had their challenges but
no one told me that it would involve me having to constantly save people I couldn't care less
about. The Lovegood girl I could see her wanting to help but a goblin and an old man, really?
I've met the goblin, he has a shit attitude and that's coming from me. As for Mr. Ollivander,
he's probably got three years left in him at best. I'm really struggling to find any reason to
waste my energy on this.

January 27 1998

"Have you even tried to come up with a plan?" Granger questions, she's still in such a mood,
I think the camping is starting to get to her.

"Yes, love, I have." I tell her, which isn't a lie. I've allowed myself to consider a few different
options a whole three times over the past five days. Each one had their own challenges and
while I know I could easily remedy them I'm still lacking a single fuck to give. Besides,
Lovegood won't be at the manor for at least another two weeks. Dolohov and Greyback are in
charge of the transportation of prisoners and they've both managed to lodge their heads so far
up their own arse that they've caused a simple task that should've only taken two days, take
six. I see why Voldemort wanted me to come back.

Speaking of the no nose having ashy bastard, he's been rather absent as of late. Of course, he
always makes sure to come around every few days to put me through hell. It took Granger a
bit to stop crying every time she'd spot new marks on my body or notice the strain in my eyes
when I'd see her afterwards.

There's one thing about this whole "Draco saves the day once again" thing that she has
requested of me. One prisoner missing could easily go under the radar but three? Even the
daft dimbos will notice that. I could proposition replacing them with Potter and Weasley
since Granger seems to care so heavily for the goblin and old man. If she were to agree to
that stipulation then I'd definitely be more inclined to put some actual effort into this.
February 7 1998

Potter, Weasley and Granger are all sat around the table while I explain the, if I do say so
myself, ingenious plan that I've curated. They're all silent once I finish sharing the details.
Granger is busy considering the... ethics of it all. Weasley looks the same as usual, utterly
lost, and Potter is just staring at me.

"Shut up." I shoot over at him.

"What?!" Potter says, taken back by the sudden outburst. "I didn't even say anything?"

"You were thinking, you're constantly thinking. It's annoying."

"Hermione thinks a lot, you don't tell her to shut up."

"Yeah but she's pretty." I smile at her causing her to take a moment from her analyzation of
my proposal to blush. "And you." Returning my attention to scarhead. "Your face alone
offends me."

Granger has just begun listing off every possible way things could go wrong with my plan,
while also emphasizing on the importance of minimizing as many casualties as possible,
when she stops mid sentence due to the sudden sound of rustling and footsteps just outside
the tent. I gesture for them to all stay put before walking out to investigate.

A sound from my right causes me to swiftly turn, a pair of hands gripping onto my shoulders
and mine finding their way around the person's neck.

"Could you maybe not? If I'm going to die from being choked I'd prefer it to at least be at the
hands of a woman."

"Theo." I groan, releasing his throat. "What the hell are you doing here? Also how the hell
did you even know where here was?" He reaches into my left coat pocket and removes a
small pin. "You've been tracking me?!"

Lunging forward he throws his hands up and says "Hey! Before you go all murder Malfoy on
me you should know I'm saving your uptight arse right now!"

"Is that so?" Sarcasm and irritation lacing my words.

"Yes, he came to the manor today."

"That doesn't make sense though." I say, shaking my head. "He's supposed to be in Romania
until Thursday."

"Mate, when has anything he's ever done made sense? The man's whole thing is based on
pure blood supremacy when the dick is a half blood. I mean what a contradicting f-"
"Theo." I sigh, cutting him off. "Can you fast forward to the part where you tell me why he
decided to randomly show up?"

"Right– yeah– my bad. He didn't really give a clear reasoning. In fact, he showed up and just
started throwing avada's around like they were some party favors. All I know is he was
asking where you were. He seemed pretty mad... like more than usual."

Fantastic. Always a good sign when the already psychotic individual shows up and manages
to seem even angrier than normal. Maybe someone stepped on his foot again, I don't know
why he walks around barefoot, it's extremely unsanitary.

"Alright, I'll go let Granger know and then we can head back. Also, if you ever track me
without my knowledge again I will gouge your eyes out."

"That's an extremely aggressive way to say thank you but you're welcome." He smiles,
patting my back.

Walking back into the tent, I look around the room and find the three of them huddled
together behind one of the hanging blankets.

"Yes, let's all hide behind a thin piece of fabric that barely covers gingerfuck's enormous
head, brilliant idea." I ridicule.

Granger steps out first and makes her way over to me. "Theo." She says, a slight nod of
acknowledgment before turning all of her focus on me. "What's going on Draco? Why is
Theo here? How did he even find you?"

"The how doesn't matter because he's never doing it again, isn't that right Theo?" My voice
lilting.

"Need I remind you again of how I'm saving you right now?" Theo asks.

"Saving?" Granger instantly becoming worried. "What does he mean by saving?"

I shake my head and wave my hand. "He's being dramatic, everything will be fine, there's just
been an unexpected visitor at the manor that I need to go tend to."

"Visitor?"

"I don't need to clarify for you Granger, you already know."

"But you said–"

"I know what I said." The words coming out harsher than I meant for them to. "I know what I
said." I repeat, my tone softer. "Plans sometimes change but everything is okay."

"I mean, I wouldn't say okay.." Theo interjects. "The guy went on a killing spree."

"Theo." I hiss. What a fucking idiot. Great, now Granger looks like she's about to be sick.
"Hey, look at me." I say, taking her hands in mine. "You don't need to worry, okay?"
"What if he found out about your work with The Order Draco? What if he knows?" Panic
filling her words.

"Then I'll handle it but I highly doubt that's the case. He's an oversized child, he throws
tantrums all the time."

"But what if he did?"

"I really hate to interrupt this again but we really gotta get going soon mate." Theo says.

Ignoring him, I tuck a strand of Granger's hair behind her ear and rub my thumb across her
cheek. "Everything is going to be okay, love." I assure her.

"You'll come back to me as soon as you can, right?" She asks, her eyes drowning in worry.

"Yes."

"Swear to it Draco, swear that you will."

"Draco, we need to leave, like now!" Theo says.

"JUST GIVE ME A FUCKING MINUTE!" I pull Granger in and hold her body tightly
against mine, her face nuzzling into my chest. "I swear it." I say, kissing the top of her head.

"I love you Draco."

"I love you too, Hermione."

 Chapter 66

Just as we're about to reach the drawing room I step in front of Theo and place my hand on
his chest. "Leave." I command. "What? Hell no." He retorts, smacking my arm away. "I
wasn't asking Theo. Leave. That's an order."

My jaw is tense as I stare him down. I don't know what's going on but based off of the several
dead bodies we had to step over, it's nothing good. Should things go poorly I can't risk having
him in the crossfire, I need there to be someone I can trust to take care of Granger, to make
sure she's safe. His eyes study mine for a bit before he reluctantly walks away. Once he's out
of sight I reach for the handle and open the door. As soon as I step into the room Voldemort
begins speaking.

"Do you know why I entrusted you with overseeing the Reformation?" He asks though I
know he doesn't actually want an answer, much like my father. He's about to give a
monologue about how I've disappointed him and I'm to remain silent and listen, nod my head
even. "From the very beginning you proved your skills but it was your obedience that truly
earned you your ranking."

He crosses the room, bloody footprints trailing behind him. Now standing directly in front
me, his wand just underneath my chin, he says "Unfortunately, obedience does not mean
loyalty. Tell me, Lieutenant, what are your reasons for executing nearly a third of your own
regime?"

This is an actual question.

"They were in the way." I reply.

"A waste of magical blood." He says. It takes everything in me not to offer a side glance at
the countless bodies scattered across the room. What a contradicting prick. "Your father
suggested it was for other reasons." He continues. "While I know better than to ever fully
trust a word that comes from your father's mouth, it did have me thinking." He thinks? This is
news to me. "You're hiding something, Draco. Behind all of that occlumency, there's
something you're keeping hidden, I intend to find out what it is."

Pain. A feeling I became rather acquainted with at a young age. Scrapes on the knee that
would usually have any other child crying were nothing to me, large gashes on my arm felt
like paper cuts by the time I was seven and now as I fall to my knees under the cruciatus I
find that even this has become rather numbing. After a few minutes he lifts the curse, a rather
short session which is unlike him.

"Stand." I do as commanded, every bone in my body feeling brittle and every muscle weak as
I get up to my feet. "Grindelwald has been located." He informs me that he was found in
Nurmengard Castle and that we're to leave in five minutes. Just as he's about to leave the
room he stops and says "If I find that you have betrayed me, I will kill you, Lieutenant."
Nurmengard Castle

All I can think about is what Granger said. If Grindelwald is the owner of the elder wand and
I kill him then its allegiance turns to me, ultimately resulting in my head being the one that is
cut off next. I hadn't given much thought to what I would do once I was in this situation, to be
honest I never thought we'd find the man. It's been weeks of searching and he seemed to
cease to exist, part of me figured he was already dead. But now here we are, just outside a
cell at the top of the tallest tower of Nurmengard, a dirty and seemingly sane man sat against
the wall.

"I knew you would come one day." He grins. "But surely you must know I no longer have
what you seek."

Voldemort signals for me to move forward. In one stride I close the distance, my knife
against his neck. "Tell me Grindelwald, tell me where it is." There's desperation in
Voldemort's words, an unfamiliar tone when it comes to him. Another signal and I reach for
another one of my knives with my left hand and drive it into the man's thigh, he immediately
begins laughing. There's the insanity I was expecting.

"The elder wand," He chuckles. "Lies with him of course, buried in the earth. Dumbledore."

Voldemort takes a step back. "Execute."

A swift motion of my wrist and his neck is split open, blood spewing from the wound and
onto the floor as we apparate. Before us now is a grave sight. As Voldemort uncovers the
white marble tomb a small shock emanates from my ring. This is not a good time Granger.
Ignoring what is most likely another one of her worried alerts, I keep my attention on
Voldemort. He's now inside of the bloody thing, hovering over my former headmaster's
lifeless body like he's ready to shag the man.

"Do you know what this is?" He asks, holding up a wand as he climbs out. "This is the key to
the success of our mission. With this, we have the power needed to purify the wizarding
community and, most importantly, end Harry Potter once and for all." Fantastic. Riveting.

Another shock is sent through my hand from my ring as Voldemort parades around, soaking
in his new power. Fucks sake Granger, I know you were scared when I left but it's only been
a few hours. Another shock, then another and another and I finally give in. As I focus my
attention in on the ring I notice that her pulse is more rapid and unsteady than its ever been.
Turning it once clockwise, my stomach drops and it feels like all of the air has been knocked
out of my lungs. She's at the manor.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Questions instantly begin flooding my mind. Why is she there? Was she really that worried
about me that she was dumb enough to go? No. Granger is many things but even she isn't that
reckless. Or is she? Fuck. I have no idea what events have led to her location now being at
the manor but what I do know is that this isn't good. Even with Voldemort not present the
grounds are still infested with death eaters, even if half of them are dead. Theo is there
though, she'll be fine if he's there... I hope. I swear if something happens to her.
Can this bastard be done with his gloating already? Congratulations, you managed to pry a
wand from the hands of a literal dead person, what an achievement. Every three minutes I
keep checking her location, praying that she goes back to their shit hole tent but she doesn't.
Every second that passes I feel myself slipping further and further into insanity. Her pulse
spikes again but she didn't send an alert. Fuck this. I don't care about Voldemort and his
orders right now, Granger needs me and if she's in trouble and something happens to her then
he can kill me for all I care.

The Manor

Greyback is stumbling out of the house when I arrive. "That witch is fucking mental!"
Scabior shouts as he pushes past me. Before I can even begin to wonder who he's referring to
I hear her laugh, Bellatrix. Instantly, I rush inside and barge into the drawing room, the doors
nearly breaking off of the hinges.

It feels like I've just been hit with a stupefy as soon as I see it. Granger's motionless body in
the middle of the room, her left arm out to the side as blood slowly drips from the carved
letters in her skin. mudblood. When her strained and agony filled stare meets mine I finally
feel it. Full and unfiltered pain. It's like every bone in my body has simultaneously been
broken, my skin set on fire and my heart torn straight from my chest.

"Draco." Bella smiles. "So good of you to join us. We were just about to call for you."

It takes everything in me to pull my attention from Granger but I do. I turn my head to look
over at Bella just as she's approaching. "I got you a present nephew." She says proudly. "A
filthy little mudblood for you to play with." Her words instantly causing bile to rise in the
back of my throat. "Come on, take a closer look." As her fingers wrap around my arm I grasp
her by her neck and throw her down onto the ground.

"Draco!" My mother gasps. "What are you-"

"Quiet mother!" I snap at her.

"What's the meaning of this?" Bella asks. "This is no way to treat family, to show your
gratitude!"

"Gratitude?" I scoff, pushing the edge of my knife into her neck. "In order to show such a
thing you would've had to have done something worth appreciating. All you've been is a
nuisance and quite honestly, I've grown tired of it."

"You wouldn't do it." She challenges.

"I really hate when people say that." Bringing my hand back, I bury my knife into her
abdomen. "See you in hell, aunt Bella." Getting up, I walk over to Granger and fall to my
knees beside her, lifting her small frame into my arms. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry love." My
voice cracking. "You're safe now, I'm here. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."
 Chapter 67

She still hasn't spoken yet and honestly, I'm thankful. If she speaks and I hear a crack in her
voice or even a hint of pain I just know I won't be able to handle it. I can feel it, I can feel
everything beginning to slip. Voldemort's several attempts at breaking my occlumency have
never done as much damage as seeing her laying on the floor did. I'm trying my best to keep
it together, to mask the agony that's consuming me. I'm not used to this, not anymore. She's
laying there on my bed, just as still as she was in the drawing room.

"Granger," I whisper, gently pushing the curls out of her face. "Is there anything that I can get
you?"

Silence.

It hurts. All of it hurts. But what hurts the most is that I'm not enough. I'm not enough to help
her right now, to bring her comfort.

"I'm going to go check on something, I won't be long though, okay?" I say as I stand up from
the bed. Please say something, anything. Grab my hand, tell me that you want me to stay, that
you need me to stay.

Nothing.

"Okay." I nod before exiting the room.

I have nothing to check on but I can't be in there. I know that she's hurting, that what she just
went through was traumatic but I just need a break. A break from pretending that I'm not
drowning.

As I'm making my way through the manor I pass by Potter and Weasley who are conversing
with Luna, Mr. Ollivander and Griphook. I don't even have the energy to be annoyed or angry
with either of them for letting this happen, I still don't even know how it did. What's even
more frustrating is that I can't even place the blame on them, it's all on me. She tried to call
for me, several times she asked for my help and I ignored her. If I had just gone the second I
got the first alert none of this would have happened, she would be okay. I do, however, find
the energy to be angry once Theo steps into my line of sight.

"You fucking useless human!" I snarl, shoving him back.

"Mate, let me just-" My fist connects with the side of his jaw.

"I trusted you!" I shout, grabbing onto the front of his shirt. "I fucking trusted you Theo! You
were supposed to protect her if I couldn't!"

"Draco I-"
My fist meets his jaw again then his nose then his stomach. "I should kill you!" I scream as I
continue punching him. He doesn't fight back though, he just stands there and accepts each
blow and I hate that I even feel the slightest bit of guilt.

"What on earth is going on in here?!" My mother scolds, pulling at my arm to get me to

release my hold on him. "Draco stop! Look at me. Look at me darling."

My view of her is blurry as tears try to force their way out. Anger, embarrassment, disgust,
guilt and shame all begin flooding my body.

"I'm sorry." Theo coughs out, my mother now checking on him. "I didn't know until it was
too late, I didn't know what was going on."

"I don't believe you!" I reply. "You had to have known! You had to have heard her Theo!" My
eyes tightly shut, my face twists together and my hand rips through my hair as the thought of
her screaming – crying out for me begin playing in my mind.

"Draco..." My mother takes a cautious step forward, her hand reaching for me but I flinch at
the movement.

"Fuck this!" I say, waving my hands and storming outside.

I used to always come out to the gardens after my father would cut into me, break one of my
bones or whatever his lesson of the day was. It was where I would go to escape, a place
where I felt comfortable enough to feel everything. I guess I was hoping it would work the
same this time but it isn't. The birds are too loud, the sun too bright and there's too many bugs
swarming me. I'm ripping off the tree branch that keeps waving in my face when my mother
takes the seat beside me.

She doesn't turn to look at me, just neatly places her hands in her lap, stares out in front of her
and says "You killed your aunt."

Nice.

"I'm aware but thanks for the reminder."

"You killed my sister."

Is she going to just keep repeating this all day?

"If you're going to ask me to apologize don't waste your breath mother." I scoff, breaking the
branch in two and throwing it onto the grass in front of me.

She lets out a deep sigh. "So you and the-"

"Don't." I wince and my jaw tightening. "Don't call her that."

"I wasn't going to Draco." She assures me. "You love her, don't you?"
Love. What a cruel fucking joke. All love has ever brought me was stress and pain – a never
ending cycle of torture. I meet her eyes but I don't say anything, I don't need to, my answer is
written all over my face.

"Oh Draco.." Her hand resting gently on my knee. "Why couldn't you have just stayed away
from her? At least then you would have had a chance at survival."

"What's the point in living if I don't have her?" I say. "I am nothing more than a product of
my father. But with her... with her I'm somebody."

It's pathetic and depressing to admit but it's the truth. I'm no more than a damaged child, a
man with a poor temperament and an obedient soldier without Granger. I need her and I hate
it. I've never needed anyone before and I never wanted to. People will only disappoint, leave
and hurt you. They think they know you, they say that they will love and be there for you
through it all but everyone has their breaking points and what if this was hers? I mean my
own damn family did this to her.

"You're still so young Draco, you have a whole life ahead of you." My mother says.

"Do I though?"

"Yes."

"In what way?" I challenge. "The other's deaths were overlooked but Bella's won't be and if
that isn't enough for him to finally kill me then what? I spend the rest of my time as his
lackey until one day someone puts an end to him and then I'm sentenced to a life in Azkaban?
Forgive me mother but I'm failing to see how that's a whole life."

"Please try to calm down Draco, I didn't mean to upset you."

"Upset?" I rise to my feet. "I can assure you this is not me upset. I am fucking miserable right
now. The girl I love is currently paralyzed by fear from the torment my own family inflicted
on her and the worst part is that's not even what's hurting me the most!" And now I'm pacing,
shouting. "It's the fact that I'm completely and utterly useless in this situation! I can't do
anything! She doesn't need me and all I want is for her to need me because I'm selfish.
I need her to need me."

It feels like I'm losing my mind. It's too much. It's all too much and I can't make it stop, I
can't sort and file. I can't compartmentalize and separate and I.. and I... I just..

"Draco.. Draco." Her voice is muffled and I see her, I see my mother's hands on my arms but
I can't feel it. I'm feeling everything and nothing all at once and I can't rid myself of the
sound of what Granger's screams must've sounded like or the distant look in her eyes and I
just fall. Like the weak man my father has always said I was, I fall to my knees.

"You're okay, you're going to be okay." My mother bends down in front of me. "You need to
breathe Draco, you need to breathe and calm down."
"I can't I-" The words catching in the back of my throat. "There's too many– and I just– I
failed. Not Theo, not Potter or Weasley, me. I failed her. She called for me and I didn't– and
now she-"

"She's going to be okay, we'll make sure of it, but right now you need to pull it together. You
need to try and level it all out. Word of Bella's death and your part in it will travel and
eventually the dark lord will be here. You can't be like this when he does." Her hand is now
on my cheek. "You love her, Hermione, correct?"

"It's the only thing I'm sure of."

"Then you need to continue to be strong. You need to be strong enough to rebuild the walls."

"I don't know if I can."

"You can. You just need to try again." She says. "Inhale and sort through the emotions, exhale
and place them in a box."

Inhale.

Anger, frustration, hurt.

Exhale.

Place in a silver box.

Inhale.

Love, worry, doubt.

Exhale.

Lock the box, bury, build wall after wall.

Inhale.

Hermione – the bricks immediately crack at the thought of her, the agonizing feeling
returning but I push forward. New bricks laid down, a steel door. It's a weak assembly and
won't hold for long, especially if someone attempts to infiltrate but it's enough to help me
stabilize, to be able to think clearly.

I killed Bella. She was one of the Supremes. Her death won't be so casually passed over as
the rest. It'll lead back to me and Greyback and Scabior knew Granger was here, that all of
them were. Voldemort will waste no time in coming as soon as he gets word. I need to get
them out, I need to set my shit aside and put her first.
 Chapter 68

"What about Hermione?" Potter asks. "She still hasn't spoken."

"I'll take care of that." I say.

As I'm walking up the stairs and close in on my room I can't help but think over all of the
ways this could possibly go wrong. I've never heard of a man telling their girlfriend to
essentially, get a grip, going well but it has to be done. She needs to get out, they all do.

Stepping inside of my room, Granger still in the same spot as when I had left, I approach the
side of the bed and let out a deep breath before saying "I've given you your space but it's time
now, you need to get up Granger." My tone is stern and borderline harsh but it's what's
necessary. Her head slowly turns and her stare meets mine, she's angry and annoyed and
honestly, I don't care. She can be mad and curse me out all she wants but she'll only be able to
do so if she's still alive.

"Up we go Granger." I say as I lift her up into my arms.

"Stop Draco." She whines.

I shake my head. "Sorry love, no can do." She weakly kicks and slaps at me as I carry her
down the stairs, I only set her down once we've rejoined the others. "Right, now that the lot is
back together, you all need to get the fuck out of here."

"Where are we even supposed to go? Our campsite is compromised." Potter says.

"I know somewhere." Weasley adds. "It's-"

I raise a hand to stop him. "Don't tell me. It's better if I don't know."

As they all begin preparing to leave I step over to Granger, crouching down to meet her level.
"I know it's not fair for it to be asked of you right now but you need to be strong." I say,
brushing my thumb against her skin as I caress her cheek. "You need to be your brilliant
minded self, we both know they're hopeless without you."

She rests the weight of her head into my palm and says "I'm not like you, I can't just turn it all
off."

"You don't want to be like me, love. I'm not asking you to turn off the hurt and pain you're
experiencing, I'm simply asking that you use those feelings to fuel that fire of yours."

"What if I can't?"

"Can't has never been a word within your vocabulary before."

"It hurt." She admits, her voice cracking. "It still hurts."
"I know." I sigh. "And I wish I could make it go away but I can't. What I can do is make sure
that nothing like that happens to you again but in order to do so I need you to leave. I need
you to go with your friends and get as far away from here as possible. Can you do that?"
Slowly, she nods her head. "Good girl. Let's get up then?" I say, standing and holding out my
hand.

Once I help her up to her feet the others gather. I inform them that I'll find them when I can
but to at least attempt to stay under the radar for now. Doubtful they'll do that, they seem to
always do the complete opposite of what I say. I call for Mippy and instruct her to take them
to whatever location Weasley provides. I steal one last glance at Granger, memorizing every
detail of her face and then, just like that, they're gone.

About an hour has passed when the fireplace erupts and Voldemort steps out, his eyes darting
over to the blood stains on the floor where Bella's body once laid.

"I believe explanations are in order, Lieutenant."

"She stepped out of line, my lord." I tell him.

"And that warranted her execution?" He asks, walking over to me. "A member of the
Supremes?"

I nod. "I did what was necessary."

Now he's circling around, positioning himself behind me. "There were others here. The boy."

Inhale.

Separate.

File.

Build wall.

Exhale.

"And a girl." He continues. "A mudblood."

My jaw clenches as my wall cracks – a subtle movement but enough to give myself away.
The back of my leg is kicked in and I drop to my knees, a crucio immediately following.

I've never experienced the full cruciatus curse, not physically at least. Even though my
occlumency was never enough to fully protect me it still offered a barrier, a cushion, but not
this time. It's too weak, I'm too weak. I can feel it. All of it. It's the most unimaginable pain
and I find myself wishing it would just kill me already but of course it doesn't, that's far too
easy for him. Voldemort enjoys efficiency which usually results in swift deaths but if you
betray him... he prefers for you to suffer and that's precisely what I'm doing. Suffering.

The small crack in my wall is now large enough to cause the entire thing to fall. The bricks
crash to the ground, the steel door blown in and every thought, memory and emotion is dug
from the ground and released. The physical pain is no match for the mental. Every inch of my
body is burning as I break. My brain is on fire while he claws his way through every last bit
of information. When he reaches Granger's box I try. I try to fight back but I fail. I've failed
her again. I keep fucking failing her.

"Pathetic." He scoffs. "Pathetic and a disgrace to your bloodline and to our people. Falling for
a mudblood? Have you no shame Lieutenant? No disgust for yourself?"

Everything is being ripped open, shred to pieces and I'm tired. I'm tired of constantly
fighting, of doing everything that I can only to continue to be met by defeat. Everything I
have done... it's been a waste. I can't do anything right. I thought I could do this, I thought I
could be both who I am and who she needed me to be but it's finally catching up.

"You were meant for great things." Voldemort whispers against my ear. "Together we were to
lead but it appears you are not worthy of such."

The excruciating pain begins to subside as my mind slowly becomes a foggy haze. My body
feels disconnected from me and I feel... nothing - everything. I'm in pain but I'm numb, I'm
scared but I'm calm. It feels like I'm trapped inside of my own head, screaming to get out, but
I can't.

A muffled voice and suddenly I'm standing. I didn't do that but I did? I'm trying to turn my
head but I can't. I hear the voice again and now I'm pivoting. My left foot steps forward and
then my right, neither movements voluntary. I'm told to kneel and I do.

Strange. This isn't how I expected being under an imperio to be. I'm conscious, aware of
what's happening but I can't do anything about it. I always thought my mind would shut off
completely, that I would be a vegetable of sorts but nope. Here I am. Fully aware of
everything and in control of nothing.

Theo and my mother step into the room and I'm screaming at them to leave but no words are
coming out. They need to go. If he makes me hurt them... I just- this isn't a good time for
them to be here. My mother is explaining to Voldemort what happened and I wish I could
laugh right now because of course she chooses the worst time to finally try and be of any help
or support to me.

Theo remains quiet as he stares at me. He's studying me carefully, trying to search for any
signal from me. Yeah mate, the signal is that I'm not fucking blinking. Something finally
clicks for him, I can see the shift in his stare when he realizes. There's panic now. He's
remembering what I asked of him if this was to ever happen to me and I can tell that he's
considering his options which makes me want to strangle him. There are no options. He has
two jobs. Protect Granger. Kill me. And I swear if he doesn't follow through with either one...

"Stand." Voldemort commands and I shoot up to my feet. "Locate Harry Potter and bring him
back to me alive." He says. "Execute everyone else."

No. No. No. Go fuck yourself, I'm not doing that. I'm not hurting her, I'm not killing her. No.
I refuse. You can take your wand and shove it so far up your-
"Yes, my lord."

fuck.
 Chapter 69

"You need to listen to me mate." Theo says as he tugs at my arm. "You're stronger than this,
you can fight it. Just fucking fight back!" He's been screaming those same words over and
over ever since I was given the orders. The second we apparated he's been trying to drag me
away from the small cottage and as much as I want to listen to him my feet keep moving
forward.

Just as I'm reaching the door he steps in front of me, his hands firmly gripping my shoulders.
"Mate you need to fight this because if you go in there and you-" His voice catching.
"Please." He whispers. "I know what you asked me to do but I- you're my fucking brother
Draco. I can't kill you."

If you truly care about me you would do it Theo.

My hand wraps around his left wrist and twists causing the bone to snap. He lets out a small
gasp of pain and as he clutches down onto his arm, I shove him aside and kick down the door.
The first person I see is the eldest Weasley, he immediately jumps up to his feet and
approaches me. Idiot. As he's asking for an update Theo rushes in, shouting for him to back
away but he's too late. My hand is already clutched onto his throat, crushing down on his
trachea. His wife, Fleur, let's out a horrified shriek as she enters the room.

"Stop!" She shrieks. "What are you doing?! You're killing him!"

Quickly, everyone begins flooding the room to see what's going on. Theo informs them that
this isn't me, that I'm under an imperio and tells them the orders I was given. He's instructing
them all to stay back, to not intervene. Meanwhile, the eldest Weasley's face is turning a
shade of purple as he swats and scratches at my face, attempting to fight me off but I'm
stronger. His eyes are just beginning to roll back and his arms falling limp to his side when
Weaslebee steps forward. He can die, I wouldn't mind that. I'd also then have a valid excuse
as to why I killed him but Theo pushes him away. Irritating.

My fingers dig further into his neck, I jolt it to the side and then I feel it, the bones in his neck
snapping. I release my hold and his body drops to the ground, Fleur practically throws herself
overtop her now dead husband's body and I feel no remorse but also waves of guilt. I didn't
want to do that. I didn't know him but I didn't want to kill him. He didn't deserve it and she
didn't deserve to witness it.

"Draco?" I hear her soft voice call out. Turning to my left I see her, she's at the bottom of the
stairs and her eyes are glued onto the body in the center of the room.

"Get the fuck back Granger!" Theo yells. "He's not-you can't be here right now!"

Then I see him, fucking Potter. Before I can even register what I'm doing I'm stood just a few
feet from him, Granger being the only thing between us.
Please Hermione, please move out of the way. Don't do this to me. Don't make me do this to
you.

"Draco." She says again, resting her hand on my cheek. "Draco it's me. I know you're in
there."

I'm here Hermione. I'm right here.

"Push through it, rebuild the walls, kick him out of your head." She tells me.

I'm trying. I'm fucking trying.

"I love you and I know that you love me too. You wouldn't hurt me, you wouldn't kill me."

I do. Gods I do. I love you but I can't control it, I can't make it stop.

"Draco plea-"

My knife is at her throat, my left forearm slamming against her chest, her back pinned against
the wall.

"I love you." Her voice strained. "I love you Draco."

The blade digs further into her skin and I can see the blood beginning to spill out. She's not
fighting, she's not even attempting to push me away. She's fully trusting me not to do this, to
not kill her and I love and hate her for it. I'm kicking, clawing, screaming at the walls that
have me contained but nothing is giving. I'm sorting, burying, laying bricks down but they
don't hold, the imperio is too strong. I'm putting all of my strength and energy into combating
it but I'm weak, I'm too damn weak.

Her hand raises, meeting my cheek again. Her thumb brushes along my cheek just like I often
do to her and she whispers "You could never hurt me Draco. It's okay."

No. Don't fucking say that! It's not okay, none of this is okay and it's my fault! All of this is
my fault. If I had just stayed away, if I had walked away and left you alone. People are dead
because of me and now the girl I love is about to join them and I'm useless once again. All I
ever wanted was to protect her, to keep her from harm but this entire time the only person
who was ever truly going to hurt her was me and now here I am, the edge of my blade against
her neck and she's just standing there. She's telling me she loves me and that it's okay.

"Stop!" Theo commands as I feel the tip of his wand press against my temple. My head turns
to look at him, his eyes are narrowed as he fights back the tears that are trying to force their
way out. "Let her go Draco, let her go or I'll-"

Yes. Please Theo. Please do it.

"What are you doing?" Granger asks.

His hand is shaking but he keeps a solid stance. "It's what he wanted Granger." He tells her.
"The night he told me about the horcruxes, the order, he asked two things of me."
"And one involves killing him?!"

"Yes." He chokes out.

"Put your wand down Theo!" She shouts.

He shakes his head. "He said to keep you safe. This is me keeping you safe. You have to
understand. This is what he wanted."

Yes.

"No!" She argues. "We can break him out of it! We can-"

"Can what?! He's already killed one of you and you're currently bleeding out all over his
hand! He doesn't want to do this Granger!"

I'm ready. Do it.

Suddenly, I'm tackled to the ground, my knife falling out of my hand. Looking up, I see
Potter on top of me. This is disgusting but I'm grateful. I can't kill him, the orders were to
bring him back alive. He has me pinned down but he's small and barely has any muscle, I can
overpower him.

"Cut this shit out Malfoy!" He demands. What a pep talk. "Stop this now or I swear I'm going
to-" He's cut off when I slide one of my other knives out and drive it into his bicep. I
probably could have stopped that one from happening but oh well, he'll live. Pushing him off
of me I spot Weaslebee charging straight for me. Well, it was terrible knowing you Weasley,
see you on the other side.

I'm just about to meet him halfway, my knife ready in my hand when I feel something stab
into my left shoulder blade. With my occlumency down I feel the full weight of the pain.
Dropping down onto my knees, I attempt to reach around and grab it but every movement
causes it to hurt more.

"I'm sorry." Granger says as she steps in front of me. "You're going to be okay." She raises
her wand, points it at me and says "Stupefy." Every muscle in my body stiffens, every joint
locking. My head slams into the floor as I fall back and my vision goes dark.
 Chapter 70

Muffled voices bounce off of the walls as I slowly come to. My head is hanging as my eyes
struggle to open and I can feel that my arms and legs are bound.

"He killed Bill, Hermione." The French accent dancing across the room, pain lacing every
word.

"I know." Granger sighs. "But it wasn't him, not fully." I really wish she wouldn't make
excuses for me. I let out a small groan and instantly feel her hands on my knees. "Hey, it's
me. You're okay." She assures me. No. No I'm not. I can still feel it, I can feel the hold on me.

"Don't." My voice is weak, quiet.

"What?"

"Don't." I repeat before drifting off again.

I could fight it, whatever it is that they've done to sedate me but I don't want to. I'm
exhausted. It's felt like forever since I've been able to just exist, where nothing is expected of
me, where I don't need to act a certain way. My occlumency has fallen and the only thing
holding me together at this point is the imperio. It's selfish but I don't want to be free of it yet.
I just want some more time where I can be like this because I know once there's no hold on
me anymore I'm going to feel everything to its full capacity and I just don't have the energy
right now to handle it, to process it, to survive it.

It's nice, this state that I'm currently in. My mind is blank, truly and fully blank and I'm able
to just breathe. I can hear her trying to wake me up, to examine me, but I don't want to.
Everything is a mess, my mind specifically.

I just need some more time Hermione, please just give me a little more time.

February 8 1998

"He's been out for hours now, are you sure you didn't give him too much?" I recognize the
voice, it's Theo. He's been coming around a lot. I mostly hear his footsteps as he paces back
and forth.

"I'm positive." Granger says. "I gave him the smallest dose, I don't know why he hasn't
woken up yet."

"I do." The sweet and light voice belonging to Luna chimes in.

"You do?" Theo asks.

"Isn't it obvious?" Neither of them reply. "He's hurting." Luna continues. "I can feel it, his
energy. It's not physical pain from the wound in his back, no, it's emotional – mental."
"What do you mean by mental?" Granger questions.

"Well, with how long he's been occluding and then for it to fall then be put back up then
undergo the imperio and have it all fall again it seems only logical that his mental state would
be suffering. He went from feeling nothing to everything. I'd say his current state isn't due to
an overuse of your potion."

"You wouldn't?"

"No, I'd say it's by choice. He'll wake, when he's ready."

February 9 1998

My eyelids are heavier than ever but I know it's time, I can't avoid this any longer. Opening
my eyes, I slowly blink as I look around the room. I'm in a bedroom, my arms and legs are
tied to the chair and sat in the corner is Theo.

"Still having trouble following orders I see." My voice causes him to instantly get up and
rush over to me.

"You're awake." He says, letting out a breath of relief. "How are you feeling?"

Terrible.

"It's still there." I tell him. "It's not as strong but it's there."

"So you still..."

"Yes."

He steps back and falls down onto the bed, his head dropping as he focuses his eyes on his
hands.

"I couldn't do it." His voice cracking. "I'm sorry but I just couldn't."

I'm angry, I am, but I can't express it. There's a lot that I'm feeling that I'm incapable of
expressing right now with the imperio still present. What I can do is tell him what needs to be
done.

"The rest of it needs to be drained out of me."

His head lifts and eyebrows pull together. "Drained?"

"I think the pain of Granger stabbing me did something, weakened it in some way."

"No." He shakes his head as he stands. "I'm not doing that."

"I wasn't asking you to."

"Then who?"
"Potter. I'm sure he'd love nothing more than to do it plus he's the only one I was ordered
to not kill, it's the safest option." He's going to try and argue with me, I can tell, but I speak
again before he's able to do so. "Get him Theo. At least do this for me."

Guilt flashes in his eyes and he nods. It takes only a few minutes after him leaving for the
door to open again, Potter stepping in. His arm is wrapped, I almost forgot I did that, I'm sure
there's no hard feelings.

"Malfoy."

"Potter."

"Theo said you think you figured out a way to fully rid yourself of the imperio?"

"That I did, it's something I think you'll highly enjoy."

"Go on then." He instructs, taking a seat on the bed.

"Pain. Physical pain. I don't know how or why but it manages to override it." I explain.

"So you need me to essentially cut you open until you no longer feel the effects?" He asks,
his brow raising and the corner of his mouth lifting.

"At least try to not look so smug about it Potter." I scoff.

"Can't." He shrugs. "You did stab me after all."

"Did I? My hand must've slipped."

There's some bickering and less than kind words exchanged for a few minutes but eventually
we get started. I instruct him on places that wouldn't be lethal and he nods his head but I can
tell he isn't retaining any of the information. He truly is a useless human being. He's now
standing in front of me, his hand shaking as he grips onto one of my knives.

"Enough foreplay Potter just fucking do it." I command, growing more irritated by the
second.

As his hand lowers he turns his head and closes his eyes, the blade burying into my thigh and
scraping against the bone of my knee.

"For fucks sake!" I shout. "What the actual hell was that?!"

"That's where you said to go!" His voice frantic as he pulls the knife out.

"I said my mid thigh not my knee!"

"Well shit Malfoy, it's not like I go around doing this all the time!"

"Clearly."
It hurts which is good. I can feel the pain. I can feel it all but merlin, I'm beginning to think
choosing scarhead for this was the absolute worst idea but we've already come this far and I
really don't feel like giving another anatomy lesson.

"Go again. Maybe this time try to keep your eyes open." I ridicule.

We've been at this for over half an hour now. I'm covered in my own blood, Potter looks like
he's ready to puke any second and the imperio is fading but not fully. There's something
missing, the physical pain is chipping away at it but it's taking too long. It's Granger. She is
the missing piece to all of this. Getting stabbed hurt, yes, but it was the fact that it was her
who did it. She's the only one truly capable of hurting me.

As if he could read my mind Potter says "You need her to do it, don't you?" Maybe he isn't as
stupid as he looks considering he's also managed to figure it out.

I nod.

"I'll go get her." He says.

This time it feels like hours have passed before the door opens again. Her curls are the first
thing I see peek through the crack and then shortly following is the rest of her small frame.

"Hi." She smiles.

I don't say anything back. I don't want to ask this of her, for her to see me like this. Her being
in the same room as me right now is enough to hurt me but it's too late now. She's already
here and I know that no matter what I say, there will be no convincing her to leave. My eyes
scan over the gash along her neck, my body shudders and jaw clenches as memories of me
holding my knife to her neck flash before me.

"Harry explained everything to me." She says, picking up the knife from the dresser and
walking over to me. "Are you sure about this?"

I really hate that even right now I'm finding myself turned on by her but I mean come on. I'm
tied up and she's twirling one of my knives in her hand, this is quite literally one of my
fantasies coming true, only difference is it's not going to end with her nails digging into my
back as she screams my name. This day just keeps getting worse.

"Go for it, love. The power is in your hands."

She saunters over to where I am, her finger trails along my jawline, her head lowers down to
my ear and she whispers "I never loved you."

I feel my stomach drop. "Granger, wha-" I'm cut off by the excruciating pain of the blade
digging into my leg.

"How could I ever love someone like you? You're a monster."

She continues muttering similar statements, each followed by her twisting and digging the
knife further into my leg. I don't even acknowledge the trauma to my body, all I'm able to
focus on are her words. Each time she speaks it feels like she's twisting, squeezing and
ripping out my heart. And then it happens. Everything breaks and comes crashing down.
Every wall I've ever built is shattered to pieces and I feel both relieved and suffocated. Relief
as the imperio lifts and suffocated by the flood of emotions.

"You failed me Draco." She's getting ready to twist it again but I speak up, cutting her off.

"Please." I beg. My voice small, timid and broken – just like me. "Please stop." A single tear
slips from the corner of my eye.

Her eyes instantly soften and she takes my face between her hands. "Draco?"

"I didn't mean to- I never wanted-" I stammer, unable to get out a full sentence. "I'm sorry– it
was never supposed to-"

"Shh, you're fine, you're alright." She reassures me, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "I
didn't mean any of that, I was just trying to get through, I'm sorry. I love you. I love you
Draco. It's okay."

"I'm sorry that I hurt you Hermione." I choke out. "I'm so sorry that I failed you again. I was
supposed to protect you and I–"

It feels like someone is pushing down on my chest and like my throat is closing. I can't
breathe. I can't think. All I can do is fucking cry and it hurts. It hurts too much and my body
is shaking. I didn't even notice her cutting my hands and legs free until she pulls my arms
around to hold onto her.

"It's okay Draco, you're okay." She whispers, brushing through my hair in attempt to calm me
down.

"I can't breathe– I– it feels like I'm suffocating and I just-" I'm panicking and I want her close
to me but I also want her as far away from me as possible. I push her away and slide off of
the chair and onto the floor. My hands aggressively begin ripping at my hair as I hunch over.
"Make it stop. Make it stop. MAKE IT STOP!"

I feel her hand gently rest on my back and the other on my arm. She doesn't say anything, just
pulls me into her. I wrap my arms around her waist again and clutch onto her as tightly as
possible.

"It's too much." I cry. "There's too much. I'm feeling too much. I'm going insane and I just– I
almost killed you. I can't do this Hermione, I can't, it's killing me and I don't know what to
do."

I'm full on sobbing and it feels like I'm about to throw up. Everything. Everything is
resurfacing. Every drop of guilt and shame that I've suppressed this entire time is surfacing
and I can't process it, all I can do is feel it.

"It's my fault." I gasp. "It's all my fault. I wasn't there when you called for me. I left and I
didn't come for you and I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry and then I–you–" I can't even speak
anymore. Every time I try to continue my voice catches in the back of my throat and the only
thing that escapes is a scream or cry and I feel so pathetic right now. Pathetic and weak and I
don't know what to do. I don't know how to make it stop. I'm drowning and I don't know if I
have the energy to stay afloat.

My heart is pounding so hard it feels like it's about to burst out of my chest. I'm sweating and
shaking and my breathing is rapid. The room feels like it's both spinning and closing in on
me. Everything is too bright and my ears are ringing and my throat is dry and tight. My skin
is burning and every bone in my body hurts. I don't want this anymore. I don't want to feel
like this.

She's talking to me, I can hear her trying to talk to me but I can't understand her. Her voice is
distorted and everything is blurry and I feel like I'm being ripped apart. I can't. I can't do this.
I can't. It's too much. I can't.

Make it stop. Please. Make it stop.

 Chapter 71

February 11 1998

Now it's me who is curled up in bed and refusing to speak. After my breakdown with Granger
I've locked myself away in this room. There's too many things going on in my head and I just
need quiet.

For awhile I was trying to figure out how I'm not dead, I killed the Weasley bloke. I finally
settled on the fact that it's because it wasn't under my control, a loophole if you will. Still, I
can't bare the idea of facing Fleur right now which is so pathetic. Since when have I ever
cared about what others think of me? I'm beginning to think my occlumency dropping has not
only turned my emotions back on but also turned me into a weak little git.

Granger pops her head in every few hours to bring me food but I know she's actually just
trying to see how I'm holding up. Everyone is worried I'm about to off myself but not her,
she's worried that I'm going to occlude again. Honestly, I've thought about rebuilding the
walls, locking everything away, but I don't have the energy right now. Feeling sad, angry,
even somewhat guilty really takes it out of you and I'm not a fan.

Luna has visited me a few times, she's the most tolerable of them all. She just stands over by
the window and goes on about whatever nonsense is in her head, I'll never tell her but I'm
thankful. I've always hated pity but especially now. I hate the way Granger looks at me. Her
eyes are full of such worry and sympathy. I'm not deserving of that. Oh no, poor Draco,
dealing with emotions again. No. Just because I broke down doesn't change who I am, what I
am. Crying doesn't suddenly make me a good person. At least Fleur still sees the true me, a
killer. The occlumency helped with everything and perhaps it aided in a more merciless
approach to all of the assignments I was given but I still would have done them regardless.

I've decided to put my own pitiful feelings aside and focus on the task at hand. I've been gone
for days now and for the first time, I've failed an assignment. Voldemort surely knows
something went wrong and as if he didn't already want me dead... if I show my face again
and return empty handed then that's it. I'll just be another dead body on the floor. There's no
going back now, no more playing double agent. It makes me nauseas to say this but it looks
like I'm fully stuck on the "good" side.

In-between hyperventilating I've tried to remember every piece of information I have that
could help the mighty golden trio with their horcrux hunt. There really isn't much but I have
my theories. First off, that bloody snake is clearly one. It's like Voldemort's safety blanket and
for the longest time I couldn't understand why he constantly had it attached to his hip but now
it makes sense. I'd be more than happy to kill the damn thing but if it's truly a horcrux then
none of my knives would be able to do the trick. As for the rest of the horcruxes, I haven't the
slightest fucking clue what or where they are. Okay, I have one other theory but it might just
be fueled by my distaste for the certain individual.
I should probably share my recent discoveries with the bleeding-heart fools but that would
involve speaking to them and right now that's the last thing that I want to do. I may be able to
occasionally slow my mind down enough to have a few minutes of clarity but my throat still
feels tight and anytime I go to open my mouth I instantly get choked up. I'd rather die than let
any of them see me that way.

There's a knock at my door and I already know that it's Theo. Along with Granger's constant
check ins he's also been visiting every hour. He doesn't share the same expression as her
though, he knows that I've been through far worse than this. Another difference is, if it were
up to him I'd already be occluding again, apparently I'm more "stable" when doing so.

Most of the time when he comes in he just sits in the corner and stares at me, this time is a bit
different though. He still seems timid, unsure of what to say but he walks straight up to me,
rips the covers off of my body and says "You need to shower." I don't say anything, I just
offer him a side eye that's essentially telling him to fuck off. He lets out an irritated sigh, rolls
his eyes, reaches for my arm and drags me out of the bed. I react as any sane person would,
my fingers wrap around his throat and I slam him up against the wall.

"I know you're hurting mate and I'm sorry that I fucked up but you're beginning to freak
everyone out." He says, his voice strained as I press down on his windpipe. "You're the
strongest one of us all and if you're breaking then it doesn't give much hope to the rest."

I don't fucking care how the others are feeling. If they're starting to doubt themselves and
think that they're weak then good riddance, it's about time they became self aware.

"Talk to me Draco, let me help you. For the first time in your life let someone fucking be
there for you."

Even if I wanted to I wouldn't know what to say. It's impossible to put into words what I'm
feeling, how I'm feeling, so attempting to do so seems like both a waste of energy and time.
I'll be fine. I'm always fine. I've never been allowed to be anything but fine. Releasing my
hold on him I pull my shirt off and head to the bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking
it behind me. As I turn the shower on I can faintly hear the sound of the bedroom door
opening and then closing, informing me that Theo left.

Ridding myself of the rest of my clothes I step into the shower, the hot water slamming
against my skin as I rest my forehead against the tile. I want to scream, I want to scream until
my voice gives out but I can't. Instead, I begin punching the wall over and over again until it's
stained red. It feels good to have this sort of pain again, something to distract me from the
pressure in my chest that has yet to subside even for a moment since my occlumency dropped
but the relief is only temporary. The weight of everything comes crashing down on me again
and my knees give out. Dropping down, I run my hands down the length of my face as tears
try to force their way out.

"You're weak." I hear my father's voice say. "Your existence is an embarrassment to me."

weak. pathetic.
"I got you a present nephew." Bella's voice rings. "A filthy little mudblood for you to play
with."

no. don't.

"I love you." Granger whispers. "You wouldn't hurt me."

My nails are digging into the back of my neck as I mutter "I'm sorry" over and over again. I
can hear it. Her screams. It's almost worse that I didn't actually hear them because my mind
spirals imagining what it must've sounded like. I reach my hand up and turn the knob, the
water turning ice cold. It's not enough to distract me, not even for a second. If I can't occlude
then I need something else to help numb everything. If they need me to get my shit together
then I can't continue on like this.

Stepping out of the shower, I quickly dry off and slip on a pair of pants, not bothering with a
shirt and step out of the room for the first time in three days. As I enter the kitchen everyone's
conversations abruptly stops as they stare at me. Everyone's eyes scan over my bare torso
that's covered in scars, everyone except Granger, her eyes never leave mine. I pay no mind to
any of their gawking and head over to the cabinets. Thankfully the eldest Weasley, may he
rest in peace, had good taste in alcohol and has a few bottles of firewhiskey. Pulling one out
and twisting the cap off, I begin chugging it like it's water and I've been dehydrated for years.

The room remains silent as I continue downing the liquor, my throat burning as the liquid
travels through. The bottle is halfway gone when Theo speaks up and walks towards me.

"Mate, do you think maybe you shouldn't-" I smack his hand away as he reaches for the
bottle. Now Granger looks concerned, fantastic, just what I needed. I finish the rest of the
bottle and grab two more, as I'm heading out I stop and turn to face everyone. I attempt to
look at Fleur but fail, something I've been doing quite often as of late. My eyes now trained
on my feet I manage to croak out "I'm sorry." My voice is so quiet I'm not even sure if they
heard me but I'll be damned if I repeat myself. Turning on my heels, I head back up to the
room, lock the door and get started on the second bottle.

February 12 1998

I cleaned out ever last drop of liquor in this stupid fucking cottage last night but it did force
me to get creative. I believe I'm due a recognition award for figuring out a spell to refill them
when inebriated. Granger would be so proud of me. Granger... gods I miss her, touching her,
kissing her, tasting her.

It's closing in on 4 am as I stumble my way down the hall to what I'm hoping is her room. I
lazily raise my hand and tap my knuckles against the wooden door, her soft angelic voice
sings "Coming!" and a few seconds later the door opens and there she is. My beautiful
Granger.
"Draco?" Her eyebrows furrowing. "What are you doing up? Are you drunk?"

"Are you the most l-lovely thing I've ever laid my eyes on?" I slur, the corner of my mouth
pulling up into a lazy smirk. I grab onto the end of one of her curls, twist it around my finger
and pull down on it before letting it go, the strand bouncing back up. "I love your hair." I say
before running my thumb along her bottom lip. "And your lips and your eyes, nose,
everything. But I t-think.." I hiccup. "What I love most is this." My hand resting on her chest.

"My boobs?" She questions through a giggle.

"No - yes - no - I mean, I do love them, they're fucking perfect." I circle and brush over her
nipple with my finger, my mind wandering away from my train of thought as I remember the
times I trailed my tongue along every inch of her skin. "But no." I say, shaking my head. "I
meant your heart." I continue. "It causes you to make some stupid stupid decisions, loving me
being one of of the bigger ones but like I've said, I'm a selfish man so I'm glad for it."

"Draco.." she sighs, surely ready to give me a speech on how loving me isn't a stupid decision
but I cut her off.

"Did you know him?"

"Know who?" Her eyebrow raising.

"The eldest Weasley."

"Bill?"

I nod.

"No, not that well at least." She says. "Ron told me stories about him but I only just met him
the day of his and Fleur's wedding."

"I see."

"You know she forgives you, right?" She says, resting her hand on my cheek.

"She shouldn't." I say, removing her hand.

"Draco, you had no control over it."

"Or did I?" I challenge. "I managed to not kill you and I easily could have. Maybe
I wanted to kill him. Maybe I enjoyed killing him and watching as she wept over his dead
body." I don't even know what I'm saying at this point. I know that I didn't want to kill him
but I also do know that there's some validity to my earlier statement. Somehow I was able to
fight the imperio enough to not slit her throat open, I delayed for as long as I could but when
it came to him I didn't even try to resist it.

"I know that you didn't because if you truly did enjoy killing him or anyone else then you
wouldn't have broken down like you did, you wouldn't be hurting so much that you've turned
to drowning yourself in alcohol."
"You think the guilt I have is for him?" I scoff. "Not a single drop of what I'm feeling right
now has anything to do with the first born Weasley or anyone else I've ever killed."

"So then what? You're just tormented by fake emotions?" She mocks.

"You really don't get it, do you?" I take a step forward, my eyes narrowing and darkening as
my head lowers and jaw clenches. "Everything is for you. Every ounce of hurt, shame, anger,
happiness, love, frustration – it's all for you, Hermione. The only reason I'm still breathing is
because of you. I don't give a shit about anyone else. I will choose you over everyone every
damn time. I will kill every last person on this earth for you and I would happily give my
own life to save yours. So no, these aren't fake emotions by any means, they're just only felt
for one person."

She's staring at me like what I've just said is some shocking news to her which is aggravating.
How does she manage to always remain so oblivious to just how strong her hold on me is? To
the fact that there's not a single thing in this world I wouldn't do for her. This whole
conversation has sobered me up too much and I can feel everything creeping its way back in.
I'm not in the mood for a repeat of me sobbing in her arms.

"I should get back to my room and let you get some sleep." I say. She doesn't say anything.
"Night Granger." I nod. Once I'm halfway down the hall I hear the light tapping of footsteps
from behind, as I turn I see her launching herself forward and into my arms, her lips falling
onto mine. The sensation that overcomes my entire body is indescribable, the only way I can
describe it is intoxicating.

She breaks the connection and pulls me down the hall by the front of my shirt, shoving me
into my room and locking the door.

"Sit." Her voice stern as she points over at the bed. I raise a brow at this new commanding
side of hers but I entertain it and take a seat on the edge of the bed. I watch as she picks up
one of my knives off of the dresser and walks over to me.

"You said all of your anger, frustration, hurt, happiness and love are for me, correct?"

"Correct."

"Hmm." She hums, her finger running along the edge of the blade. "But where is the
pleasure?"

"The pleasure?"

She joins me on the bed, straddling me as her arms wrap around my neck. Usually I wouldn't
take very kindly to someone having a knife so close to my face but for her, I'll allow it.

"Yes, Draco, the pleasure. Or is that not a feeling you were granted when your walls fell?"
She shifts her hips in my lap, my cock twitching at the movement. Her eyes look down at my
trousers, a satisfied grin appearing on her face as she feels how hard I already am. She lowers
her head so that her mouth is by my ear and whispers "I want to show you that feeling
everything doesn't have to be miserable." Her lips press gently against the area on my neck
just below my ear.

"Take your shirt off."

I grab the bottom of the fabric and lift it up and over my head. Once I toss it over to the side
her hand presses against my chest, pushing me down onto my back as she raises the knife to
my throat.

"Seems only fair that I get to hold one to your neck too." She says.

I'm too turned on right now to even feel the pain or guilt that usually emerges whenever I
think about what I did to her.

"Do with me as you please, love." I smirk.

"Good boy." She praises.

Fucking hell.

I feel the coldness of the metal against my skin as she begins trailing the tip of the blade
down the length of my torso. When she reaches my trousers she begins kissing and sucking
along my lower abdomen as her other hand unbuckles my belt, unzips and pushes them
down. No man would ever feel comfortable in a situation where someone had a knife this
close to their crotch but right now I find myself feeling nothing but complete trust in her and
extreme arousal. Her fingers graze over the wounds on my thigh that are still healing and are
quite sensitive which causes me to wince slightly. Her hand jolts at the reaction resulting in
her nicking my side.

"I'm sorry." She quickly apologizes.

"For?"

"I just cut you– I didn't mean to– maybe I shouldn't be-"

I grab her wrist to steady her hand that's clutching onto the knife and sit up. "Did I say that
you couldn't cut me?" I ask. Her eyes widen and cheeks turn a bright shade of red.

"Y-you want me to cut you?"

"I didn't say that, I just didn't say that you weren't allowed to." Carefully, I raise her hand so
that the knife is at my neck again, turning her wrist so that the flat side is pressed against my
skin. "Kill me if you wish, I couldn't possibly imagine a better way. The control is all yours
love, for as long as you want it." I can see the confidence return in her eyes as I lay back
down.

She begins running the knife down my body again, a similar path to the one I used on her.
Along my chest, down my stomach, my legs and just gliding past my crotch so that I felt the
cold metal and then she stops, the knife on my stomach as she lowers herself down.
"Don't move or I might cut you." She warns.

"Don't tempt me with a good time, love."

She rolls her eyes at me as she wraps her fingers around my cock, her tongue starting at the
base and licking its way up to the tip. "Fuck." I groan, my eyes rolling back as she wraps her
lips around my length. The warmth of her mouth hugging around me is something I've
fantasized about countless times but I've never wanted to push her to do it but now here she
is, taking every inch of me, her tongue lapping around my tip as her hand simultaneously
works my shaft.

I reach down and grab onto her hair, holding it back and out of her face. "Look at me." Her
eyes flutter up to meet mine just as my tip hits the back of her throat. My hips buck up
slightly earning another cut and for her to immediately sit up.

"What did I say about not moving?" She scolds.

"Oops." I innocently shrug.

"Oops is right." She says, climbing off of the bed. I'm just about to reach for her and pull her
back over when she starts stripping, her back facing me. She removes her shirt and then her
pants, bending over as she pushes them down providing me with a perfect view of her arse.
Next she unclasps her bra but keeps her knickers on.

"Remember these?" She asks as she positions herself on top of me again. Of fucking course I
do. They're the same green ones she wore the first time.

Before I can make any sort of comment the knife is back at my neck and her hips are slowly
grinding against mine. I can feel how wet she is through her knickers which brings me
immense pleasure but is driving me insane. All I want right now is to flip her over and have
my way with her but the little lion decided she wanted to run the show today and honestly,
I'm quite enjoying it.

"Do you want to fuck me Draco?"

My fingers tightly grip onto her hips as she continues grinding against me.

"I want to fuck you until you can't think or walk straight." I tell her.

"Mmm." She smiles. "Did you miss feeling how wet I get for you?"

"It's all I ever thought about."

She leans down so that our faces are only inches apart, pulls at my bottom lip with her teeth
and whispers "I missed feeling you inside of me, Draco."

Gods, where the hell is this all coming from? As much as I'm enjoying this she's going to
have to fuck me soon or else this little role reversal is going to come to a quick end. As if she
could read my mind she reaches down, pushes her knickers to the side and lowers herself
down on me, her head falling back as a moan escapes the back of her throat.
I watch as she begins raising and lowering herself, her pace slowly picking up as I rub my
thumb in circles against her clit.

"Oh gods.. Draco..." she moans.

"That's it sweetheart, get yourself off on my cock."

I devour every inch of her body as she bounces up and down, the pleasure of her walls
tightening around me is no match for how I feel watching her ride me. This is all her,
about her pleasure, I'm merely just a tool in this situation and I've never been more okay with
something in my life.
Her grip on the handle of the knife releases and I toss it over onto the ground and grab her
hand, positioning it to where mine was on her clit.

"Show me how you touch yourself when I'm not around, love."

There's a brief moment of embarrassment but once I begin matching her strokes with a thrust
the pleasure overrides and I watch as her fingers begin pressing and circling against her clit.
She's biting down on her lip, the muscles in her stomach are contracting and her head is
thrown back as I thrust faster and harder into her.

"Fuck.. Draco.. I can't... I need..." She pants.

"My turn?" I ask and she nods. Immediately I sit up, wrap my arm around her waist and flip
her over onto her back. I lift her legs up onto my shoulders and wrap my hand around her
neck. "Open." I command. Her lips part and I shove my pointer and middle finger into her
mouth, her lips wrapping around and sucking on them. "That's my good fucking girl." I
praise, snapping my hips into hers.

"Gods, I missed your pretty little cunt." I growl, thrusting harder and deeper into her as she
gags on my fingers.

"I want you to cum for me." I say before sucking down on the skin of her inner thigh. "Cum
for me Hermione."

The headboard is slamming into the wall as I bury my cock in her, her muffled screams
echoing throughout the room as her walls tighten and legs begin shaking. Removing my
fingers from her mouth I lean down and caress her mouth with mine, her lips parting to
permit me entrance. The kiss is wet, sloppy, aggressive and everything I've been fucking
craving. A moan escapes the back of her throat as she comes undone and I swallow it back as
the muscles in my abdomen contract and I release myself inside of her. I kiss her forehead
before placing her legs back down on the mattress and rolling over to the other side, our
heavy panting the only sound in the room.

Note to self, sex is a far better cure to shutting my brain off than drinking.
 Chapter 72

February 19 1998

"So the snake.. it's a horcrux?" Potter asks.

"How many different ways are you going to ask for clarification on this?" I groan. "My
answer is going to continue to be yes." I knew I should've just kept this information to
myself, I've been explaining this for the past twenty minutes and the only one who seems to
be comprehending a single shred of it is Granger.

"That still leaves three more though." Weaslebee adds. Wow, an astute observation for once,
how is that gingerfuck is slowly starting to become more intellectual than scarhead? They
continue on with their rambling and eventually we even consult with the goblin and
wandmaker. Apparently the reason both Greyback and Scabior were leaving the manor in
such a hurry that one day was due to the fact that they were in possession of the sword of
Gryffindor which was apparently meant to be stowed away safely in Bella's vault at
Gringotts. As fascinating as it was to learn that she only ever had a replica of the sword and
Potter realizing that a horcrux must be hidden in there as well, it didn't come close to the
information Mr. Ollivander decided to grant us.

"So what you're saying is..." Granger begins, unable to finish the statement, Mr. Ollivander
nods.

"When Mr. Malfoy disarmed Albus Dumbledore that night in the astronomy tower the elder
wand's allegiance transferred to him."

"What does this mean?"

"As of now, all it means is that he won't be able to access its full power." Mr. Ollivander says.
"But I'm afraid that once he comes to this conclusion himself he will-"

"Kill me." I interject, my tone far too casual. Granger's eyes widen, appalled and angered by
my nonchalant demeanor.

She whips her head back to the left, her gaze returning to the old man. "But all he would have
to do is disarm Draco."

"That route would require the sod to be sensible." Theo adds, plopping down into the chair
next to me. "And I think we're all fully aware that he is the exact opposite."

"So what are we supposed to do then?"

"Nothing." Potter answers. "At least not about that, not right now. We still have more
horcruxes to locate and we have to find a way to destroy them all."

"Harry.."
"I can't believe I'm saying this.." I say, standing up. "But Potter is right. The wand is the least
of our concerns right now." Tapping Theo's shoulder, he also gets up from his seat and we
begin making our way for the door.

"Where are you two going?" Granger asks, grabbing my hand to stop me.

"To Gringotts."

"What? Why? You can't go there, what if someone sees you?" Her voice growing more
frantic with each word.

"If Potter is correct and there is a horcrux there then one of us has to and it can't be any of
you three. In case you forgot love, I killed my aunt, so there's no polyjuicing your way into
this one."

"So you're going to what? Waltz on in and demand to be let into her vault?" Now she's
standing too, hands on her hips while she gives her infamous disapproving look.

"Yes and if that doesn't work I'm sure cutting open a few throats would do the trick."

"You can't just go in and kill them!"

"Why not? It's not like anyone would miss them, I've never heard anyone say a single decent
thing about goblins." Griphook meets my stare and says "I get it, no need to apologize." "I
wasn't going to."

"You're a highly unpleasant individual Mr. Malfoy."

"And you're a grimy and untrustworthy little gremlin."

"You better watch your privileged pure-blood mouth." He warns, hopping out of his seat and
waddling over to me.

"Or what? You'll punch my leg? Be my fucking guest."

"I swear to Godrick.."

"Go on then, give me your best, I'll even bend down so you can reach my face."

"Okay, okay." Granger says, stepping in-between the two of us and placing her hands on my
chest. "You're supposed to be laying low right now Draco and I'm sorry but I don't think a
mass Gringotts murder is really the way to do that."

"Then how do you expect to get the damn thing?"

There's a small cracking sound in the living room followed by my mother's voice saying
"Thank you Mippy but perhaps next time you can give me a warning before apparating us."

"Apologies missus, Mippy will give countdown next time."

Heading straight into the other room, my mother's shoulders relax and she lets out a deep
breath of relief when her eyes land on me. "Draco, darling, you're okay."

"Mother, what are you doing here?"

She removes the space between us, taking my face between her hands, her lips pulling up into
a soft smile as she runs her fingers through my hair. She's looking at me like it's a miracle
that I'm even alive which I guess it sort of is.

"I was so worried when you didn't come back. I tried waiting, to give you some time to return
or send word but I couldn't continue sitting around. I had Mippy bring me here, I figured if
you were anywhere it would be with her." She looks over my shoulder at Granger and offers
a small nod. "Hello Hermione."

"Erm-hello Mrs. Malfoy."

I grab both of her hands with mine and remove them from my face. "As good as it is to see
that you're well mother, Theo and I have somewhere to be."

"Gringotts I'm assuming?"

My eyebrow quirks. "How did you-"

"Oh darling." She says, shaking her head. "I know I haven't given you much reason to but it
would be nice if you could at least try to pretend that I'm not entirely incompetent." She
reaches into the bag hanging from her shoulder, pulls out a small golden cup and hands it to
me. "When Bella... passed... I had to take care of her things, her vault included."

"How did you know about the horcruxes?" Potter asks.

"My husband is a quite secretive man but he is also extremely boastful. When the dark lord
entrusted him with information on them he had to tell someone." She explains. "I suppose he
chose me because he assumed I would never do anything with the information."

I hand the cup over to Potter and everyone watches carefully as he examines it.

"Well Harry, is that it?" Weaslebee asks.

He nods. "Yeah, I don't know how to explain it but I can feel it, I can feel him." Everyone
heads back into the kitchen, all of their voices intertwining as they begin discussing what
steps to take next, Theo and Granger are the only ones who stay back.

"Hermione, would you mind giving us some privacy? There's something I'd like to discuss
with these two." My mother requests.

"Oh, yes, of course." Granger says. "I'll just-I'll be with the others."

Once she's gone my mother asks if there's somewhere we can go. I guide her up the stairs and
into my room, she closes the door and silences the room, Theo and I are stood over by the
bed as we wait for her to speak.
"So, you two have fully abandoned your posts I see."

"It's not like I could return empty handed, mother."

"I understand." She says. "And you?" Her eyes flitting over to Theo. "What is your
reasoning?"

"I couldn't leave this twat here alone." He says, slinging his arm around my shoulder. "He'd
be at an absolute loss without me."

"I would've been completely fine." I argue, pushing his arm off of me.

"Oh really? Who was the one who helped you get to your little girlfriend when you were
practically dying?"

"That was purely circumstantial, I would have gotten there regardless."

"Well what about when you came storming in here ready to kill everyone?"

"You mean the time you failed to do the one thing I asked of you?" I scoff.

"Just say you need me mate."

"I'd rather gouge my own eyes out."

"Say it."

"No."

"Say it!"

"Fine." I exhale. "I need you Theo... to take your wand and shove it so far up your-"

"Boys!" My mother chimes in. "Enough. You two are family and love one another, whether
you admit it or not."

"Some would even say we're in love." A smug look on his face as he rests his head on my
shoulder and bats his eyes up at me.

"No one would ever say that." I retort, flicking his forehead.

"Can we please postpone this squabble?" My mother asks.

"Gladly, what is it that you wanted to talk to us about?"

She begins fidgeting with her ring, a habit I seemed to inherit, and slowly paces back and
forth in front of us. My mother has always seemed to be in possession of some degree of
worry but for some reason it's more unsettling this time around. Maybe it's just because I'm
still trying to level out all of my own emotions but I really wish she would just spit it out
already.
"You're aware of the other horcruxes, correct?"

"The snake is one of them." I say.

"Yes and now you also have the cup but what about the others? Have you figured out what
they are yet?"

"No but I'm assuming you know?"

She nods. "Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem, your father had mentioned that it's hidden
somewhere in Hogwarts."

"Okay, that's easy enough. We can just-"

"There's one more." She adds, cutting me off. "The boy."

"Potter?" Theo questions.

"Yes."

I fucking knew it. I mean, I entertained the idea but I never actually allowed myself to
explore the possibility. It makes sense though, a lot more sense than him somehow being the
only person to ever survive the killing curse - especially as a damn baby. This, unfortunately,
puts me in a tough spot. What's the proper way for someone to inform their girlfriend that her
best friend needs to die? The answer is there isn't, especially when your girlfriend is
Hermione Granger. The witch would willingly sacrifice her own life for a complete stranger
if needed but the idea of anyone else ever doing the same will never be accepted by her. She's
going to go absolutely mental which is why I never brought it up in the first place.

"There's more." Of course there is. She goes on to talk about the elder wand, basically saying
all of the same things that Mr. Ollivander had earlier, only difference is she has the current
owner wrong.

"It's not Snape." I tell her.

"Draco I know that, for whatever reason, you're upset that he completed your task for you
but-"

"No, mother. Snape isn't the owner of the elder wand right now. He killed Dumbledore, yes,
but he isn't the one who disarmed him, I am." The room falls silent as she processes this new
piece of information. Her eyebrows knit together and I can see her hands beginning to shake.

"Does he- is he aware of this?" Her voice shaking.

"Yes. The last time he used legilimency on me he saw."

She manages to make her way over to the chair before her knees give out and she falls back
into the seat. Her hand raises to her mouth, her chest rising and falling rapidly. It hurts to see
her like this, it's times like these where I wish I was still occluding. My mother has failed me
in her own ways but she was and will continue to always be a far better parent than my father.
I know that everything I've been through has caused her pain in some way but it wasn't until
now that I've been able to see just how much. It's like I can feel it myself, like I'm siphoning
her emotions, all the guilt, worry and pain.

"What are you going to do?" She asks me, tears flooding her eyes.

I'm so tired of people asking me this, it's a useless question as they're already aware of my
answer but yet they still feel the need to ask it. I think they believe that by having me say it
will somehow change my mind, they're wrong. Just because I don't have everything sorted
and filed and my walls are no longer up doesn't mean I won't still do what needs to be done.

"Let's not waste our breath going over this. You're not going to change my mind."

"You can't."

"Why not? You seemed perfectly fine when you thought it was Snape in my position."

"That's not- you can't just give up."

"I'm not giving up, I'm doing what needs to be done. I'm doing what you, Granger and
everyone else has always asked of me, the right thing."

"Do you not value your life?"

"Of course I do." I scoff. "But what's my life compared to everyone else's? To hers? All you
ever tried to teach me throughout the years was to open my heart, to allow myself to care for
others, despite what father instilled in me and now I finally have. If I could have it my way I
would live the rest of my life with her but I've quickly learned that things will rarely ever
work out in my favor. Her well-being is the most important thing to me and while Voldemort
is still around she'll never be safe so if I have to die in order to get rid of him once and for all
then so be it."

There's another moment of silence before she gets up and walks over to me. She takes my
hand in hers, tightly squeezes it and says "You didn't deserve this Draco, you didn't deserve
any of the terrible things that you've been through but especially not this."

"I'd argue that after everything I've done this is precisely what I deserve."
 Chapter 73

February 24 1998

"Have you given anymore thought to your other options?" Granger asks.

"No and I wish you wouldn't either." I say, pulling back the sheet. "Now come here."
Reaching out, I grab her by the waist and drag her into the bed.

She lifts her head to look up at me "I was thinking that maybe-"

"Less thinking more sleeping, love." My hand gently pushes her head back down to lay on
my chest, my fingers combing through her curls.

This is all I want right now, to lay here with her and not worry or talk about anything else. I
just want to enjoy simple moments like these, to pretend that everything is fine, even if it's
only for a moment. Ever since the recent discoveries regarding the elder wand and my
mother's random appearance things have been more tense than usual. They've all been
working to try and figure out a way to destroy the cup while myself and Theo have been
putting together a plan to get into Hogwarts and retrieve the diadem.

Granger has been spending any free time she has to try and find a loophole or alternate route
to the elder wand situation. I love her but sometimes I wish she wasn't so brilliant and I
certainly wish she wasn't as stubborn. Every day, from the moment we wake, she's talking
about it, telling me about some new plan she came up with. I swear this woman studies and
works in her sleep, her dreams probably take place in a damn library, probably the one at
Hogwarts if we're getting specific.

Before my mother left last week I made both her and Theo swear to not tell anyone about
Potter's... unfortunate fate. My mother was quicker to agree than Theo, he argued that the
longer I keep it from Granger the worse the fallout will be but I really don't care. Each day
we get closer to getting everything in place, we've already started communicating with the
other order members which means the inevitable war is closing in.

I'll eventually tell her and everyone else about Potter's situation, who knows, maybe she
already knows but I know that once I do she'll be an even bigger mess than she is now and
selfishly I want to steal as much time as I can just the way we are. Yeah, we spend most of
our days talking strategy but there's still some windows of peace, like right now. She's in my
arms, her curls are tickling my chin and I can feel her heartbeat matching mine. It's perfect,
she's perfect.

I try to not spend too much time dwelling on the fact that there's going to be a time where I
won't be able to hold her like this and I sure as hell do not let myself think about some other
guy putting his hands on her. I do, however, think about the fact that this is probably the best
possible outcome for her, for us.
As much as I liked to believe that her and I had a chance at a normal and happy life together
it's just not the reality. It has nothing to do with our families, my mother doesn't seem entirely
opposed to the idea and as for my father, I really couldn't care less. He could disinherit,
disown and threaten to kill me. He's taken enough away from me but she would not be one of
them. No, at the end of the day it simply comes down to who we are.

She's Hermione Granger, the brilliant minded and selfless witch that is loved by all and after
this will surely be put on a pedestal even though she will absolutely hate it and I'm Draco
Malfoy, the cold and cruel death eater who is responsible for countless deaths. She says she
doesn't care what people think and I believe that she believes she doesn't but she does.

If I managed to make it out alive I would have one of two futures awaiting me. The first is a
given, a lifetime in Azkaban or maybe even a nice little kiss from the dementors, probably
not though because that would be seen as letting me off too easy after everything. The other
would be allowing me to continue to live as a "free" man which really means a life of people
most likely spitting in my direction and a low chance of ever developing any sort of career.
Azkaban sounds better in my opinion.

These are things she doesn't think about, she's very focused on the present which is a good
thing but there comes a time where you need to be able to take a step back and look ahead.
How would we ever work? She'll be admired but also hated and looked down upon for being
with me and it would rip her apart, being with me would destroy her. But this way, with me
dying on the other side, the "correct" side, it would help lessen the hate that gets thrown her
way for ever being with me while also providing her with a way out, a chance to start over
and reach her full potential without being weighed down by all of my shit.

I want her to have everything that she's ever dreamt of, to share her mind and heart with the
world because gods know they need it, this world is fucking plagued by people like my father
and if there is any hope in restoring it, it's her. In my opinion, which is correct, Potter is an
easy person to cast as the face of hope. He has a tragic little story that intrigues everyone but
in reality he didn't do shit, he was a child, if anyone should be talked about it's his mother.
But Granger, no one ever takes the time to consider her, not truly.

Without her they would've never gotten as far as they have but all people seem to see is that
Potter has once again defeated Voldemort in some way. Her own friends barely even take the
time to acknowledge how much she's given up. She obliviated her own damn parents but
what was the main thing they focused on and ridiculed her for? Who she was dating. She gets
tortured and is barely allowed any time to process and recover from it because, like I said,
they're fucking useless without her.

For now, I'm going to soak up every minute I have with her.

March 8 1998
"You need to tell them mate." Theo says as we're walking the perimeter of the house and
strengthening the wards.

"I will, just not right now and you'll continue to keep your mouth shut."

"I just think that the longer we wait-"

"Drop it Theo." I snap. "I don't want to hear about it anymore, just do your fucking job."

March 17 1998

Potter is talking about something but all I can focus on is Theo who is whispering something
into Granger's ear. If his goal was to get on my nerves he's achieved it. He's been at this little
game all week, pulling her aside and making it seem like he's telling her something he's not
supposed to but I know him, he won't. It's annoying though and I don't see why he cares so
much.

I guess in a way withholding the information has slowed down our progress because our
morning meetings are filled with theories on what the final horcrux could be. Shacklebolt and
Lupin have both voiced that they don't feel comfortable with infiltrating Hogwarts until we
have all of the key components, knowing the last horcrux being one of them.

We've already set everything up for getting onto the premises without being instantly detected
but that doesn't mean word won't travel. Essentially, the second we enter the school it will set
off a chain reaction. Snape will be notified and then soon after Voldemort, all of the death
eaters will be summoned and the true war will begin.

The last we heard from freckles there hasn't been much change there. The Carrows are still
being their charming selves and having students torture one another and Snape rarely leaves
his office. It sounds like they can afford to continue on like that for a bit longer.

April 1 1998

"I need to talk to you." I say to Potter as I approach him at the table while everyone else is
busy in the other room.

"Okay, what about?"

"Not here."

"Malfoy, if you want to call me a dumb fuck or the wizarding world's greatest mistake again
you can just say it."
"While I still believe all of those things that's not what this is about." Something in my
expression must've spoken to him, showed that, for once, I'm trying to be genuine because he
stands up and waits for me to lead the way. Once we reach my room I lock the door and cast
a silencing charm.

"If you're going to try and seduce me I'll stop you right now."

"You should feel lucky that I'm able to stand being this close to you as it is."

"So what is it then? What did you need to cast a damn silencing charm for?"

I don't even know why I'm doing this right now. Nothing significant happened for me to
decide to finally tell him it just kind of hit me. Maybe I'm just tired of being locked up in this
stupid house and I just want to get it all over with. Regardless of my reasoning, I'm already
here so I might as well just follow through.

"You're the last horcrux." I say casually. Hmm, I probably could've found a way to ease into
that but that would mean that I cared how this news affected him and I don't.

"Is this an April fool's joke?" He asks.

"Potter, I have no idea what the fuck that is."

"So you're being serious?" I don't respond, just stare at him. "Got it, serious." His eyebrows
pull together and he looks slightly surprised but not nearly as much as I thought he would.

"You realize this means you have to die, right?"

"Yeah, I know what it means." He says, waving his hand.

"Are you depressed or something? Is dying what you've always wanted? Because you seem
far too calm."

"No, you dickhead."

"You knew, didn't you?" I ask.

"I didn't necessarily know but it's crossed my mind a few times. I don't think he intentionally
meant to make me into a horcrux but.."

"You just continue to prove why your entire life is one big mistake."

"But it makes sense why I can see into his mind sometimes and him into mine, why I can feel
the other horcruxes and why he wants to kill me so badly."

"How does that make you feel?"

"How does what make me feel?" He questions.

"Knowing that the man is aware that by killing you it brings him one step closer to death but
he hates your existence so much he's willing to do it." I taunt.

"I really don't understand what Hermione sees in you." He scoffs.

"That makes two of us." I mumble under my breath.

There's some uncomfortable silence between us before he speaks again. "So what do we tell
the others?"

"Nothing more than what they need to know." I say. "We tell them that we know what the last
one is and that we can get a move on with our plan."

"You don't think they should know that it's me?"

"How do you think that'll go over if we did?"

"Probably not well, Hermione would surely freak. She's already losing her mind enough
about your situation."

"Precisely, we'll just tell them that we have it under control and leave it at that."

"How exactly do we have it under control though? I mean, what are we going to do?"

"There really isn't much for us to do."

April 7 1998

Telling Potter has screwed me in ways I didn't account for. Since we both agreed to not tell
the others, at least not right now, it's caused him to believe we have some sort of bond. Theo
knows too but I don't see him getting constantly pulled away by scarhead.

Nearly every day the shithead steals me away from Granger to talk about "our plan" which is
essentially no plan at all. We both die, it's pretty simple. I don't know if he thinks that our
mutual fate in death is supposed to bring us together in some way but if it is he needs to rid
himself of that immediately. I don't care what's happening, I will not be holding his hand or
some shit when we stand before Voldemort.

"Do you think there's something on the other side? You know, after death?" He whispers.

"I don't know."

"Do you think it will hurt?"

"Probably."

"Are you scared?"

"The only thing I am right now is annoyed Potter. As you keep bringing up, we're going to
die, so if you could stop interrupting my time with my girl I'd greatly appreciate that." I pat
his back, far harsher than needed, and rejoin Granger in the living room.

April 20 1998

"Lupin, I thought I smelled wet dog." I smirk as I stand in the doorway.

"Mr. Malfoy, always a lovely time seeing you." He replies sarcastically through a tight smile
as the rain continues to pour down on him. "If you don't mind?"

I step aside and gesture for him to enter, he makes his way into the kitchen and is warmly
greeted by everyone. Not far after the rest slowly begin to file in, Tonks, Shacklebolt, even
the rest of the Weasley lot, excluding freckles. They seemed even less fond of my presence
than normal which I didn't understand at first but then I remembered, I killed their precious
Bill. My bad.

Once everyone is settled we begin going over the plan. Everyone takes a turn sharing
whatever they came up with for their respective assignments. Theo and I explain the
passageway that leads straight into the room of requirement and how freckles will gather
everyone to meet us there.

"Right, now that all of that is out of the way." Lupin begins. "There's one last thing that needs
to be done before all of this takes place. While Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Nott's passageway is
good and very helpful with getting into Hogwarts we need to go investigate the surrounding
area, take note of how many death eaters are on watch at a time and their shifts. Voldemort
has grown far more paranoid since Mr. Malfoy's failure to return. I've gone once myself, only
for a brief moment but I saw enough to feel the need to say that this will be a dangerous task.
The chances of being spotted and something going wrong are high so I want this to be a
volunteer situation, I'm not going to force anyone into this."

The Weasley twins and Tonks immediately raise their hands as does Potter, Lupin accepts
everyone's offer except his.

"Why not?" He asks.

"Because Harry, you're far too essential to risk in an assignment like this one. I appreciate
your bravery and urge to help as much as you can but, respectfully, I'm going to have to ask
you to sit this one out."

Potter leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, pouting that he's been denied. I figured
he'd be better at rejection, he's had to have a lot of experience in that department. Weaslebee
raises his hand next, he's hesitant when doing so and you can tell he instantly regretted it but
it's too late for him to back out seeing as Lupin has already accepted and his older brothers
are patting him on the back, congratulating him on finally growing a pair. The next person to
volunteer instantly makes me rise to my feet and object.

"Absolutely fucking not!"

"She can do whatever she wants." Weaslebee says.

"Stay out of this shit for brains." I snipe over at him before looking back at Granger. "Put
your hand down."

"No, this is important and thanks to you, I have a decent amount of knowledge on how the
death eaters operate."

"I don't give a shit." Now turning my attention over to Lupin I say "I'll go in her place, if
anyone would be of help it's me, I trained a majority of them anyways."

He shakes his head. "Believe me, I thought about asking you to join several times but.."

"But?"

"But you're just as high of a target as Harry is right now and we also need you down the road.
Your skills in.. disposing will be extremely valuable when we get to Hogwarts, should they
be needed. I'm sorry but my answer for you is the same as Harry's."

My hands slam down onto the table causing all of the glasses to fall over. "This is bull shit
Lupin! How is Hermione's life not as valuable as pinhead's and mine? She's the smartest one
of us all for fucks sake!"

"That she is which is why it would be very helpful to have her with us, that's not to say I don't
value her life just the same. I need you to remove your personal feelings and see where I'm
coming from. You of all people are familiar with strategizing like this when it comes to
missions, it was your entire job at one point."

"Yeah and I knew that I was always the most qualified to do nearly every single one of them,
so once again I say, keep Granger here and let me go."

"My answer is still no and you won't be swaying it."

Granger grabs my arm and tries to calm me down but I yank away from her grip and storm
off. Reaching my room, I slam the door so hard that the frames hanging on the wall shake
and nearly fall off. This is so stupid, so what if they've been instructed to be on high alert for
me? Out of everyone down there I'm the one who is best suited to do this. I mean fucking
hell, Weaslebee is going to be there which means things are surely going to go sideways
because he has never once in his life done something correctly.

Over the past few months I've managed to level out and control my emotions but those were
mostly just sad depressing ones, they weren't this type of frustration and anger. My skin is
burning and itchy and I'm clenching my jaw so tightly that I can feel my teeth beginning to
crack. I want to beat Lupin's face in, I want to rip out Weaslebee's throat for even existing and
I want to strangle Granger for being so stupid.
I'm pacing and ripping at my hair when there's a knock and a soft "Draco?" called out.
Opening the door I see Granger, she steps inside and calmly closes the door behind her.

"I know you're angry but-"

"Angry doesn't even come close to what I am right now." I say through an almost manic
laugh. "Why do you always do this?"

"Do what?" She asks.

"Throw yourself into situations like your life doesn't mean anything."

"I don't do that."

"Yes, you do."

"I just want to help Draco."

"And you can but you don't always have to risk your life to do so. You're not some soldier
that can be easily replaced, you're Hermione fucking Granger, you're the brightest witch of
our age."

"How smart I am has nothing to do with this."

Gods, she's not listening. She's not fucking listening to me. I'm about to lose my mind and go
completely insane, I may already be for all I know. There's so many things racing through my
head right now and I'm trying to not lash out, to contain the anger and rage that's building up
inside of me but fuck! Why can she never value her own life like she does others?

"You aren't going to change my mind." She says. "You can't stop me."

"I know. I know I can't." I reply, letting out a frustrated sigh. "But I can ask you. I can ask
you to, for once in your life, be selfish and put yourself first." She's going to argue with me,
tell me that all of this is bigger than just her, I can tell. I run my hand down the length of my
face. "What do I need to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"To keep you here." I say. "Do you want me to beg? Because I will."

She shakes her head. "No Draco that's not-"

"Stay. Please. Don't do this to me, don't fuck me up even more than I already am. You're the
only good thing that's ever happened to me, I'll never feel this way about another again and if
something were to happen to you I-" My eyes shut and I wince slightly as the image of her on
the drawing room floor flash in my head. "I can't lose you." My voice cracking. "So
stay, please Hermione, stay."

She angrily rubs her face. "This isn't fair of you. Whenever I try to bring up you finding
another way when it comes to the elder wand you shut me down!" She shouts.
"That's different."

"How? How is it any different?!"

"Because that has to be me, this doesn't have to be you! Lupin already has plenty of people
willing to join him, you don't need to be there!" And now I'm screaming too and I hate this, I
don't want us to be like this but I'm still not used to feeling everything to this extent and I'm
drowning in it.

"Why are you the only one allowed to put their life on the line?"

"I'm not!"

"Do you think I'm not capable of taking care of myself in dangerous situations?!"

"That's not what I'm saying Hermione!"

We're just screaming back and forth at one another and it's so loud I wouldn't be surprised if
our voices are breaking through the silencing charm and everyone can hear us.

"Just because I'm not some trained assassin like you doesn't mean I can't do things like this!"
The vein in her forehead is beginning to pop out, just like it used to whenever she would
curse me out at school. "I'm going and that's final!"

Apologize to her. Just give up and tell her that you understand. Don't ruin this.

"By all means go then! You've never listened to me before, no matter how many valid points
I make, so why would this time be any different?"

"Glad we're on the same page." She sneers.

"Yeah, just fucking fantastic." I scoff, rolling my eyes.

 Chapter 74

April 22 1998

I've barely spoken to her today. In fact, I've said more to Potter over the past two days which
is highly concerning for myself. Part of me was hoping that she would've changed her mind
but I always knew she wouldn't. They're all gathered around the table and going over the plan
once more and then they're headed to Hogsmeade.

"She's going to be fine." Tonks tells me. I look her up and down, stopping and spending an
extra few seconds observing her hair color slowly changing. "I don't know what blue means
but I don't like it." I say. "Bring her back in one piece or I'll rip your lover boy's arms from
his body, understood?" Speaking of the prat, I feel a hand grab onto my shoulder just as he
asks if he can speak with me.

"You're going to be here tonight when we return, yes?" I'm not even going to answer that.
What a stupid question, where else would I be? My head slightly tilts to the side and
eyebrows lazily raise as I stare back at him. Realizing that I won't be responding he
continues. "Good, I was hoping to consult with you on our findings."

"Ah, so instead of just letting me see for myself you'd prefer to scribble some notes down and
have me try to make sense of them. Brilliant thinking Lupin, who said dogs weren't smart?"

He lets out an exasperated sigh as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "I understand that you're
unhappy with me."

"Oh do you?"

"Draco.."

"I preferred when you only used my last name. Just because you're laying with my cousin
doesn't mean we're family."

"Alright, Mr. Malfoy." He corrects. "I'm asking for your help here, it would be very beneficial
to have your opinion."

"My opinion is that you're an idiot."

"Can you at least try to work with me here? To do your part?"

"My part?! I've provided you with plenty of information on Voldemort and the death eaters
regime, I've saved humpty and dumpty's arses several times and in case you've forgotten, I
took a damn oath. I'd say I've done my part."

"Hermione would-"

"Don't."
"Don't what, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Use her against me, that's a cheap shot, especially for you." Glancing over his shoulder I see
her, she's slipping her coat on and is mid sentence when our eyes meet. I want to go over and
talk to her, hold her, wish her luck and remind her how much I love her but my stupid pride is
standing between us like a damn brick wall. "Just try not to get killed." I say, turning my
attention back to Lupin. "I know that's a pretty big ask when Weaslebee is in attendance."

"I'll bring her back to you, I promise."

Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it.

April 23 1998

8 hours. It's been 8 fucking hours since they left and all I've managed to do is pace the
perimeter of this stupid living room. I know that she's okay, technically speaking, her pulse
only spiked for a second and that was right after they left so it was most likely due to
apparating. Every third step I check the door, waiting for them to step through but they don't.

What am I doing? This is ridiculous. I should've just gone with them, screw Lupin's orders he
isn't in charge of me. I could still go, I know where they are and since Granger is wearing the
bracelet I gave her I have their exact location. She would hate me if I did though. She'd, once
again, accuse me of not believing in her ability to take care of herself which isn't true.

I know that she's perfectly capable of doing so, that's not the issue. The issue is that the rest
of them aren't, especially Weaslebee. I have yet to see him do a single thing correctly.
Bringing him along was possibly the biggest mistake Lupin made, besides keeping me here. I
can already picture several different ways he screwed this mission up. The other issue is that
for some reason these bleeding-heart fools seem to have no problem with sacrificing one to
save the rest and Granger tends to volunteer herself for that position quite often.

I'm fiddling with my ring as my eyes flick back and forth between my watch and the door.
Once the small hand lands on 3, indicating that it's now been 9 hours since they left, I turn it
once clockwise and pin down on their location, fully readying myself to apparate – regardless
of how mad Granger would be, when suddenly the door bursts open and three of them
practically fall inside.

"What happened here?" I casually inquire as I watch Tonks and Lupin struggle to support
Weaslebee's weight. I follow them into the kitchen, lean against the wall and cross my arms
as they set him down in a chair, blood dripping out from his right thigh.

"Can you grab the bottle labeled essence of dittany from the cabinet?" Lupin directs towards
me.
Ignoring his request, I look around and search for Granger. "Where is she?"

"Go get the damn thing!" Tonks shouts as she cuts his pants to get a better view of the
wound.

"I'll consider grabbing it when you tell me where she is."

"This isn't the time to be a twat Draco! We have to tend to Ron's leg."

"Oh please." I groan. "He'll be fine, that cut isn't even close to being deep enough to kill him
which is unfortunate."

"Do you ever get tired of being a complete git?" Weaslebee snarls.

"Do you ever get tired of being a disappointment to your family?" I quip. "I told you bringing
him along was a mistake." I direct at Lupin who has decided to retrieve the vile on his own.
"Now I'll ask once more, where is Granger?"

He's just about to administer the solution when his hand and the rest of him seem to
completely freeze. In one stride I clear the gap between us and grip him by the front of his
shirt, slamming him up against the wall. "Where the fuck is she Lupin?" My voice low and
threatening.

"We had one last shift to observe when Ron got hurt, I suggested returning another time but
she-"

"You left her there?!"

"She insisted."

"And you just gave in? Are you out of your damn mind?! I thought you Gryffindors were
supposed to be loyal! To be the kind to never leave one of their own behind!"

"I didn't leave her behind! She asked-no-demanded to stay!" He argues. "And it's not like I
left her alone, Fred and George stayed back."

"As if that means shit to me Lupin! You knew how I felt about her going in the first place and
you expect me to suddenly be okay with you abandoning her because the identical charity
cases are there? You promised, you fucking promised that you would bring her back to me!"

"Hermione is going to be fine."

Just as the words escape his lips my ring sends a shock through my hand, her pulse rapid.
"You better pray that she's okay because if she isn't, an entire lakes worth of dittany won't be
able to repair what I'll do to you." Throwing him to the side, Tonks catching him in her arms
to keep him from falling, I turn my ring and apparate.

Everything is relatively quiet, a few pair of voices echo in the distance but other than that,
nothing. I check my surroundings and find that I'm in an alley across from Scrivenshaft's but
no sign of her. I'm just about to step out onto the street when I feel someone yank me back.
Instincts kick in and I spin around, ready to snap the neck of whoever was dumb enough to
put their hands on me when I hear it, my name. The light tone laced with both love and relief
instantly causes me to relax.

"Granger." I gasp, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her body into mine. "Are you
okay? What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Several more questions pour out as I cup her cheek and
tilt her head back so I can examine her.

"I'm okay Draco, I'm okay." She assures me. "But Fred and George-"

"Great, let's go." Grabbing her hand, I prepare to apparate us back but she yanks away.

"No! Fred and George both got caught!"

"Then they'll leave this world the same way they entered it, together, how poetic. Now let's
go Granger."

"I'm not leaving without them Draco!"

"I didn't come here for a little game of 'save the less fortunate', love." I sigh. "In case you
haven't noticed, I don't have any weapons, not a single knife or even my bloody wand."

She reaches forward to grab my hands, holds them up and says "These will work just fine."
And before I know it I'm being dragged down the street and shoved into yet another alley,
this one being right beside what used to be Ollivanders. "They're in there." She whispers.

Peeking around the corner, I look through the broken window and see the pair both tied to a
chair, their backs to one another. Four unfamiliar death eaters are inside with them,
Voldemort must've followed through with recruiting more. Admittedly, that was my idea. Our
numbers were starting to significantly decrease when he had me executing our own after the
locket was stolen during the muggle trials.

This should be easy enough, if they were enlisted after my departure it's highly unlikely they
got any sort of proper training. After evaluating the situation for a whole three minutes I've
come to the conclusion that taking the four of them out will be a fairly simple task. The only
problem is I still haven't been able to locate a single fuck to give when it comes to saving the
two clowns.

"What's our plan?" Granger whispers.

Turning around, I grab her by the shoulders and move her farther back into the alley. "If I
actually decide to do this you're to stay right here."

"But I-"

"Stay. Here." I reiterate. "I mean it Granger."

"Fine." She huffs. "So you're going to go and get them then?"

"I'm still weighing out the pros and cons."

"Draco!" Her hand smacking against my arm. "If you don't do it you'll be breaking your
vow."

"Would I though?"

"Yes!"

"I'm going to need a list of actual Order members because lately it seems like everyone with
a beating heart is a part of it, makes it quite difficult to know whose life I'm supposed to
pretend to care about."

"Go get them!" She scolds. Fucks sake, since when did she turn into my mother? Flailing her
arms about and berating me like I've just stolen a tart from the kitchen before dinner. I really
don't appreciate the hostility, especially when I'm about to, yet again, save her useless friends.
I guess it's the least I could do though, seeing as I did kill their older brother.

Granger is impatiently tapping her foot as she stares me down, waiting for me to get a move
on. Being a 'good guy' is exhausting. Do this, go there, save this person, blah blah blah. This
job sucks just as much as, if not more than, being a death eater. Still not getting paid a single
sickle and everyone apparently thinks they can just order me around. Whatever, I'll go rescue
the halfwits but I'll be sure to bring this up the next time Lupin tries to make me sit out on
another assignment.

"If I see even a single curl of yours pop in I will leave the both of them and apparate you and
I back to the house immediately, understood?" She hesitantly nods as she verbally agrees.
That was the opposite of convincing but I don't have the energy to argue over it. I've told her
what I'll do if she doesn't stay put, if she decides to not listen to me then that's her problem.

The building hasn't been repaired which means there's an opening in the back that was caused
by the explosion. Giving her one last warning glance, I step inside and quietly make my way
through the room and to the front where the group of them reside. Fred spots me first and
then shortly after George, at least they were smart enough to not make it obvious and keep
their facial expressions neutral.

I check the area around me and take a moment to evaluate the items I have access to. There's
a few bricks and dozens of wands scattered across the floor, these will work. Picking up a
single brick and shoving two broken wands into my back pocket, I step around the counter
and whistle to gain their attention. Just as the shortest death eater turns I smack the brick into
his temple, his body crashing down onto the floor and blood spilling out from his cracked
skull.

The next one, a rather feeble man, charges towards me as he removes a knife from his side
holster. Taking one step to the left, I kick my right foot out to the side causing him to trip. As
he's falling forward I grab his wrist and steady the blade, positioning it just behind his chin to
impale him. The last two stand in a ready position, their chests puffed out in attempt to
intimidate me.

"I'm usually more of a 'one partner at a time' kind of guy but for you two, I'll make an
exception." I smirk. The burly one literally growls at me as he takes a step forward.
Crouching down, I pick up the brick from earlier and just as I'm pulling out one of the wands
from my back pocket I feel a pair of hands clasp onto the front of my shirt.

"You're a blood traitor." The large man snarls.

"And you have terrible breath." My face twisting in disgust. "Have you ever heard of a little
thing called a mint? You should really invest in a few... thousand."

"Time to die."

"Yes, it is." I agree before raising and stabbing the splintered tip of the wand into his eye,
hammering it farther in with the brick. As he stumbles backwards I walk forward, remove the
second wand from my pocket and drive it into his chest. "I guess you should have
specified whose time it was." A rustling sound from behind alerts me, my left hand shoots up
and tightly wraps around the man's throat, my head slowly turning to look at him. "Sneaking
up on someone when their back is turned?" I tut. "That's by far the most cowardly thing a
man could do."

Lifting him up, his feet just barely hovering above the floor, I spin us around so that his back
is up against the wall. "You look familiar." My head titling to the side and eyes narrowing as I
try to place how I know him.

"We had muggle studies together." He chokes out. "I sat in front of you."

"Ah, yes, that's right. Fletchley, is it not?" He nods. "You're a Hufflepuff if I remember
correctly." He nods again, his face slowly turning a shade of purple as I continue clamping
down on his neck. "Have to say Fletchley, never thought I'd see the day where a badger
would join the death eaters."

"It wasn't my choice."

"Unfortunately, neither is your death. What was that saying muggles like to use? Oh-yes-see
ya, wouldn't want to be ya." With a swift twist of my wrist I feel his neck snap in my hand.
The feeling of satisfaction from finally doing something other than sitting around in that
stupid cottage is abruptly interrupted when the sound of the door creaking open catches my
attention. My eyes snap over to the entrance and I let out a deep breath as Granger creeps in,
stopping in her tracks as she scans over the bodies sprawled across the floor.

She clears her throat and straightens her posture. "Someone got a bit carried away I see." Her
tone far too judgmental considering I just saved her friends.

"I'd say that was me on my best behavior, love."

"You couldn't have just, I don't know, kindly killed them?"

"Kindly?" A single brow raising. "How does one kindly kill someone?"

"I don't know." She shrugs. "Maybe by not puncturing their eye with a wand?"
"Trust me, you would've done the same if you were getting slapped across the face by the vile
stench that was seeping from his mouth."

"It's true." Fred pipes in, or was it George? I don't fucking know. "He stood an arms length
away from me and I could still smell it."

"Resembled the odor of a pair of sweaty socks that hadn't been washed in over a month." The
other one adds.

The two continue taking turns comparing the man's breath to various repulsive scents and I
even found myself nodding in agreement with a few when Granger steps in, shutting all of
the fun down by talking about how "We're still in a death eater infested zone" and "We really
need to get going before more come." Let them, I would love nothing more than to add a few
more to my count but it doesn't look like that's going to happen considering she's already
untied both of them and is reaching for my hand. Once she has a hold on me the room twists
and turns around us and suddenly we're back at the cottage.

"Thank merlin you're all okay!" Potter's voice consumed with relief as he hugs each of them,
pausing when he gets to me.

"Don't even think about it scarhead."

"Wasn't planning on it but since you seem so appalled by the idea.." He trails off as he slowly
inches closer to me, arms wide.

"Stop it." My hand swatting at him.

"Just relax, it'll be okay."

"I will kill you Potter."

Despite my very real threat he continues forward until he has me backed into a corner and his
frail arms wrap around me. "This is nice, isn't it?" He asks, resting his head on my chest. My
hands are up in the air, avoiding any further physical contact as if he's infected with a deadly
disease. Everyone else just stands there, staring at the both of us as they hold back their
laughter. This is actual hell and I'm pretty sure I can feel the sweat from his hands seeping
through my shirt. Thankfully, he releases me from his hold and steps back.

The rest of the night is spent comparing all of their notes and suggesting different strategies
on how to get around undetected. There's an obvious window that I managed to identify
within the first five minutes of their discussion, the new shifts aren't that different to how they
were when I was scheduling them so how they move, where they go and why is pretty
simple. The only thing I can't seem to figure out is how Weaslebee managed to return with a
hole in his leg. Based off of what they're saying the only time they encountered anyone else
was after Lupin, Tonks and Weaslebee left.

I've been eyeing him down for around ten minutes when he finally notices. He looks around
and checks behind him to make sure it's actually him that I'm staring at.
"What's your problem?" He asks.

"I'm just trying to figure out how you got wounded while hiding in a shrub. Were the leaves
too sharp for your fragile body?" The color of his face instantly matches his hair and
everyone else goes silent. "Am I missing something here?"

Granger attempts to make up some excuse to justify what had happened when Weaslebee cuts
in. "The spider was really big."

"Clearly. I mean it had to have been if it made that big of a gash in your leg."

"The spider isn't what caused it." He tells me. "In my defense it was dark so my vision was
limited and I'm not used to having something like that on me so I just-"

"Can you get to the point already?" I groan. "We all know you're perfectly capable of
finishing quickly."

"I freaked out when I saw the spider and when I fell back I landed on my side causing the
knife in my pocket to stab my leg." The words spewing out as fast as humanly possible.

"Wait-knife?" I question. "Where did you even get... you took one of my fucking knives?!"

"I thought it would be good to have in case we needed to.. you know.. kill someone without
causing too big of a scene!"

Shooting up to my feet, I hold out my hand and command for him to give it back. He doesn't
move but I do feel a light tap on my shoulder. Turning my head I see Tonks extending her
arm out, my knife in her hand.

"How did you manage to stab yourself with the only one that has a safety guard?" I genuinely
ask him.

"I didn't know how to put it in."

"That's not surprising." I mock. "Listen Weaslebee, I'm not mad that you touched my
belongings."

"You're not?"

I shake my head. "No. I'm mad that my blade pierced your body and I wasn't on the other end
holding it."

"You're such a.."

"A what? Go on, insult me, call me whatever you want. At least I'm not the fuckwit that got
scared by a spider and stabbed myself with my own bloody knife."

"Gentleman!" Lupin interjects. "Can we hold off on this quarrel and focus on the task at
hand? We've already taken too long as it is, we need to act soon. So, for the good of mankind,
let's set aside our differences and work together." He looks between the two of us, waiting for
some sort of truce to commence.

"Touch my shit again and I'll cut your head off and leave it on your mother's doorstep." I
threaten before sitting back down.

April 25 1998
"What are you thinking about?" Granger asks as she joins me by the window, her arms
snaking around my torso and head resting on my back.

Honestly, that's a pretty loaded question in this moment. Everything and nothing is on my
mind. Remaining almost oblivious to everything that is currently and about to happen is the
only way I'm able to stay sane but without my occlumency I'm only able to maintain that for
so long. The rest of my time is spent going over every possible way things could go wrong,
most including Granger getting hurt somehow. I've also been thinking a lot about this whole
elder wand situation, I think she's finally managed to get in my head about it.

My original plan was to just show up and kill the man which I always imagined ending in my
own death but now with Potter in the equation things just had to get more complicated. He
knows I'm the owner of the elder wand which means he'd want me first so he could then kill
Potter and if he doesn't kill Potter then I can't get rid of him, not fully. This whole situation is
aggravating and several times I've come close to just telling Granger everything but I don't.

"Have you eaten?" I ask, the random question catching her off guard.

"What?"

"Have you had dinner yet?"

"No but I'm fine I'll just-"

"I'll go get you something." I say, kissing her forehead before leaving the room.

It's hard for me to be around her right now even though it's the only thing I want. I've never
experienced any difficulty with keeping things from anyone before, not even her, but as of
late it's been killing me and I don't know why. She's fully aware of where I currently stand
when it comes to my situation and she's the farthest thing from happy about it but she knows,
it's not like that's what I'm keeping from her. I don't know what it is that's hurting me when
she's around but I can't stand it. It feels like someone is pushing down on my chest while
simultaneously ripping my heart out. All I know right now is the days are counting down
until we head back to Hogwarts and with each day that passes the more I begin to wonder if
what I'm about to do is the right thing. I mean, I know that it is but then again I've never been
one to do that. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised when I do things that are out of character
for me, Granger tends to have that effect on people.

April 27 1998
"So you're changing your mind?" Theo's words are full of hope, too much hope.

"I didn't say that."

"But you didn't deny it. You're considering your options, second guessing the whole dying
bullshit you had committed to."

"All I said is that Potter's situation is causing complications within my original plan."

"Which means you're second guessing."

"No Theo." I snipe. "I'm just simply reevaluating."

"You can rephrase it however you'd like mate but that doesn't change the fact that
you are second guessing."

I roll my eyes at his irritating persistence but choose to opt out of continuing down this path
of me saying something, him taking it the wrong way and me correcting just for him to not
even listen. I only told him because I have no one else to talk this over with. Well, I do, but if
I find myself willingly choosing to converse with him then that's all I need to know that I'm
fucked.

"What's your plan now then?" Theo questions.

"I have no fucking idea."

April 29 1998
Well, it's official, I'm truly and utterly fucked because here I am sitting outside with none
other than Potter and I was the one who asked him to join me.

"So what is it you wanted to talk about Malfoy?"

"You dying." I casually state.

"Well that was fucking blunt. Ever heard of having compassion?"

"No."

"Alright then." He rolls his eyes before continuing. "What about me dying did you want to
talk about?"
"It's become extremely inconvenient for me."

"Oh has it?"

"Yes."

"Well shit, my bad Malfoy, I apologize that my death is causing so much trouble for you."

"Thank you." I reply, fully aware of his sarcasm.

Silence falls between us and I don't know exactly how it happened but we managed to both
find ourselves on the same page.

"He's going to go after you first." Potter states. I keep my eyes trained on the tree in the far
distance as I clench my jaw. "What do you need me to do?"

I know how this needs to go. I've thought it over countless times and last night it finally hit
me. Potter is a horcrux technically speaking but he wasn't intentional nor was his entire
existence to be one. The part of Voldemort that lives inside of him is precisely that, a part, it's
not his entire being which means there's a chance that he could survive it. It's just a theory,
one I feel highly confident in, but what I do know for certain is that Voldemort can't gain full
possession of the elder wand regardless if Potter survives or not.

I turn my head to meet his stare and for once I'm not completely repulsed by his face. Maybe
it's because there's no sign of pity, just understanding. As much as I shit on him for not
actually doing anything he is familiar with this feeling, the one where you know at the end of
the day it has to be youmwho walks straight into the fire.

"You have to disarm me." I tell Potter. "I'll rebuild my walls enough to keep it from him so
that he still believes killing me earns the elder wand's allegiance."

"Okay but then what am I supposed to do?"

"You live. It's your whole thing anyways. Live Potter. Kill the bastard and live. And take care
of my girl, take care of Hermione."
 Chapter 75

May 1 1998
We leave tonight. After months of planning it's finally happening, we're breaking back into
Hogwarts. The first half of the plan is pretty simple. There's a six minute window between
shifts where there's no death eaters near the Hog's Head Inn which is where the tunnel is
located. It'll take us underground and lead us directly into the room of requirement where
freckles and the others will meet us.

As for the horcruxes, Potter informed us that he used a basilisk fang to destroy Tom Riddle's
diary so it only makes sense that it could be used on the rest as well. Most of yesterday
consisted of him telling Theo and I how to locate the chamber of secrets and also teaching us
basic parseltongue since that's required to open it. While we retrieve that, Granger, Potter and
Weasley will search the room of requirement for the diadem. As for the second half of the
plan, well, there's still some things that need to be taken care of.

"Go on then." I instruct as I lazily hold up my wand.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Potter, you're acting like you're taking my fucking virginity or something. It's not that big of
a deal, just disarm me already."

"Expelliarmus." And just like that my wand flies from my hand and onto the floor.

"Congratulations, you're now the proud owner of the elder wand." I say with mock joy.

With that now out of the way everything else is just a matter of following the steps, I've
decided to approach this war in a checklist fashion. First, have scarhead disarm me, done.
Second, get the imbeciles into Hogwarts in one piece, feasible. Third, collect a basilisk fang
and destroy both the cup and diadem, seems simple enough. Fourth, lure the snake away from
baldy, a tad more onerous. Fifth and final, be some sort of hero and sacrifice myself so that
the rest can live, so that she can live.

The cottage is at full capacity today, everyone slowly began arriving late last night. Nearly
the entire Weasley army is here, even their little shithead Percy who not too long ago was still
kissing the arse of Voldemort but whatever, what do I know? Tonks and Lupin have mostly
kept to themselves, soaking in as much time as they can alone. Shacklebolt also decided to
make an appearance, for the most part he's been traveling, meeting with others in hiding in
attempt to begin the process of restoring the ministry for once Voldemort falls. Everyone is a
balanced mixture of both eagerness and panic but not Theo, he's calm, the most calm I've
seen him in a long time.

"Everything alright?" I ask as I pull a chair up next to him.

"I never wanted to be a death eater." He says.

"Yeah, I know."

"I always knew I had no choice in the matter though, that even with my father being gone it
was still going to be expected of me."

There's certain parts of our lives that are vastly different, most of which relate to the way we
process things but I think the reason Theo and I have always had a close bond is because we
understand each other, in ways no one else could even come close to. I also think that, in a
way, he and I being so close is what sealed his fate with one day becoming a death eater. I
saw him as a brother which then resulted in my father seeing him as a son, someone he could
also force his beliefs and expectations on.

I never wanted any of this for him. Theo can be a complete prat sometimes but at the end of
the day he's one of the good ones, probably the best of our entire friend group. Sure, he had a
tendency to get with girls who were already spoken for and he may have instigated fights
here and there but all of those actions were simply his unhealthy way of coping, of handling
emotions he never felt he deserved to feel.

"After tomorrow everything is going to change." He continues. "How it'll change, I don't
know. We could be successful but we could also fail, all I know is that things will be
different. I may have this damn mark on my arm for the rest of my life but I won't have to be
an actual death eater anymore. Everyone else is nervous about the outcome, is it wrong that I
couldn't care less about which way it goes? That I'll just be happy to finally be fully relieved
of my duties?" When his eyes flick over to mine a strange, almost reminiscent feeling hits
me.

He looks so much younger right now, almost peaceful. It's reminding me of who he was
before any talks of war were happening, before the both of us sported a dark mark on our left
forearm. Theo struggled the most when we were enlisted in the Reformation, it took a toll on
him mentally which was then evident in his appearance. A few months in he was visibly
exhausted, eyes constantly strained but now, as we sit outside, everything about him is
relaxed. Some would say his tranquil demeanor is worrisome but I understand where he's
coming from.

"I'd be concerned if you felt any other way." I tell him. He slowly nods his head a few times
before returning his gaze to the tree in front of us, focusing on the leaves as they sway in the
wind. Reaching into my pocket, I pull out a small suede bag and toss it into his lap.

"What's this?" He asks as he opens it.

"A portkey. After we get the basilisk fang I want you to use that."

"No way, I'm not leaving you."

"I don't care what you want Theo. Once your part is complete you leave. Just because we're
standing opposite of Voldemort this time doesn't mean we'll be pardoned. I've done
everything that I can to keep yours, Blaise's and Pansy's involvement with the death eaters
under-wraps, to at least try and keep any incriminating evidence against you three at a
minimum."
"None of us asked you to do that."

"You didn't have to, I think it's obvious that Azkaban isn't where any of you would like to
spend the rest of your lives."

He opens his mouth to argue with me further but promptly decides against it, knowing that
there's nothing he can say to change my stance on the matter. We both just sit in silence for
the next few minutes, something I've always appreciated about our friendship, neither of us
have ever felt the need to constantly fill our time together conversing. It's not until
Shacklebolt calls for us that we speak again. As we're about to step inside he grabs onto my
shoulder and says "Look, I know we don't say shit like this but if there was ever a time to do
so, it's now. I love you mate, you're always going to be my brother."

He's right. This isn't what we do, we don't make sappy little comments like that but, as he
mentioned, now is the time to make an exception.

"I love you too brother." I reply. "Take care of yourself, yeah?"

"I'll give it my best shot."

May 2 1998

12:15 am
Thirteen knives are strapped to various parts of my body and my wand is holstered on my
right hip. I was just rolling my sleeve down when I pause, my finger grazing over the face of
the watch Granger gave me. Sometimes I find myself wondering, if I could go back to that
time knowing what I do now, would I do anything differently? Would I have still pursued her
or would I have left her be? I'd like to think that I would be a decent man and relieve her of
the stress and agony that she's had to endure due to having me in her life but in reality I
wouldn't change a thing.

This life of mine has always had its uncertainties. I'm not saying I always pictured myself
dying just before my 18th birthday but I've also never lived like tomorrow is promised.
There's a lot of things I wish I was able to do but knowing that I was lucky enough to
experience love, her love, is all I need to be okay.

"I always liked when you wore your hair like that." Her voice dances across the room as she
walks towards me. Turning to face her, she reaches her hand out and runs her fingers through
my hair, a smile creeping its way onto her face. "Something about it being messy and just
laying across your forehead makes you look gentle, more human, not your usual hardened
appearance."

I take her hand in mine and bring it to my lips, kissing the inside of her wrist.

"How are you doing? Are you ready for this?"

"I don't think I'll ever truly be ready for a war but I'm ready to do what's necessary." I let out
a small chuckle in response to her statement. "What?" She questions.

"Nothing it's just– you sounded a bit like me when you said you were 'ready to do what's
necessary.'"

"And that's funny because?"

"It's not funny, more like ironic. You always got so upset whenever I'd say things like that."

"I don't think that's true."

"Oh trust me love, it is." I smirk. "If I'm remembering correctly, you started smacking me one
time for doing so."

She bites down on her lip in attempt to conceal her smile as she remembers the time I'm
referring to. "That was a heated moment." She admits. "Water under the bridge?"

"What bridge?" I ask confused. "The one at Hogwarts? I'm pretty sure there isn't any water
under there."

"It's a figure of speech Draco." She giggles. "It means what happened in the past doesn't hold
any importance anymore, that it's not worth arguing over."

That literally makes no fucking sense. It must be a muggle thing, these figurative sayings. No
wonder they have so many problems relating to miscommunication, how the hell does water
being under a bridge insinuate that something is in the past? Regardless of the nonsensical
statement I'm just glad I got to hear her laugh again, it feels like it's been far too long since I
have. I think besides her saying my name, her laugh is my favorite sound.

12:30 am

We're all gathered in the living room. Myself, Granger, Tonks and Lupin stand along the wall,
facing the rest of the group. Granger's eyes latch onto Tonk's and Lupin's hands that are
intertwined together and I can see as her mind begins to imagine one of them losing the other,
pain flashing across her face as her heart breaks at the thought. I take her hand in mine,
mimicking the gesture, and lightly squeeze my fingers around hers. She turns her head to
look up at me, tears brimming her eyes as she offers me a soft smile.

"I wanted to start off by saying that I'm incredibly proud of each and every one of you."
Lupin begins, his voice is strained but he does his best to appear strong, to continue to
occupy the role of the leader. If he breaks then surely the rest will too and he's fully aware of
this. "It takes a lot of bravery to stand where you do, to be willing to put your life on the line.
We've spent a lot of time planning for this moment, if we stick to it then there's no doubt in
my mind that we will come out of this successful. Let's all remember that it's the quality of
one's convictions that determines success, not the number of followers." As he looks over at
Tonks I can see the worry in his eyes. If I was a sensitive man I might've shed a tear or two at
the sight but thankfully, I'm not. He clears his throat and says "Mr. Malfoy, would you be so
kind as to go over the plan once more?"

I nod my head and step forward, Granger still tightly gripping onto my hand. "I'll run point
and Theo will cover the backend. We'll apparate to the outskirts of Hogsmeade and keep off
any of the main trails. At 12:54 the death eaters will abandon their posts providing us with six
minutes before the next shift arrives. During that time we'll move forward and into Hog's
Head Inn. From there we'll take the underground passage which will lead us directly into the
school. I would like it to be known that if any of you decide to wander off," My glare landing
on Weasley. "You will be left behind. We may be going into this together but at the end of the
day we don't have the time for any rescue missions. Once inside Potter, Weasley and Granger
will work on locating the diadem while Theo and I will retrieve a basilisk fang. The rest of
you will stand guard along the perimeter of the school and set wards."

12:53 am

I glance down at my watch and observe as the big hand ticks forward. My head lifts just as
the four soldiers begin walking away. I reach behind me and tap Granger's knee, signaling her
that it's time. Thirty seconds or so passes before she gently taps my shoulder, telling me that
everyone has been informed and that we can proceed. Standing, I carefully lead the group
down the hill, along the backside of the buildings and down an alley. We're just about to the
round the corner when there's a crashing sound from behind. Whipping my head around I see
Percy stumbling away from a stack of crates. A string of expletives and insults are just about
to fall from my lips when a siren courses throughout the air, red lights flashing, orders being
shouted and the sound of footsteps running towards us.

"Plan b it is." I mutter under my breath. "Stealth is no longer needed, right now it's all about
speed." I advise the lot. "Keep your head down and whatever you do, don't stop, not even for
a second." I take Granger's hand and begin running out from the alley and down the street,
not even bothering to check if the rest are keeping up. Thankfully we weren't far from our
destination and arrive at the building in under two minutes. I push the door open and drag her
in behind me, the rest falling inside right after. Once Theo steps in he closes the door and I
join him over by the windows, we both take a moment to check our surroundings. After
we've noted that no one followed us and that we're in the clear we rejoin the group.

"Being a fuckup must be knitted into your family's dna." I ridicule as I push past Percy.

"It was an accident." He tells me.

"Was it?" I challenge, stepping into him. "I already had a hard enough time believing that you
actually switched sides. Now, after that stunt, my urge to kill you has increased."

"Good, you all made it safely." The husky voice causing my hand to halt just as it hovers over
one of my knives. As he steps out from the shadows gasps fill the room as they take in his
appearance. "I don't remember setting off the alarms being a part of your plan, Mr. Malfoy."
He says to me, ignoring the gawking stares.
"I'm accompanied by nearly the entire Weasley lot, did you really expect it to go smoothly?" I
retort.

He nods his head and then faces everyone. "It's a pleasure to meet you all. I'm-"

"Aberforth." Granger interjects. "You're Dumbledore's younger brother."

"This is her I'm assuming?" He directs at me.

"What gave it away?" Sarcasm lacing my words.

"Besides her seeming to know everything?" He mocks. "I believe you greatly undersold her
when speaking of her beauty."

"Watch it you old perv." I warn. "Keep your fucking dick in your pants."

"You didn't tell us that your contact was Aberforth." Lupin says.

"Should I have? I didn't really see any reason to do so."

"It would have been nice."

"Why?" I question. "It doesn't change anything." Theo comes up to me and lets me know that
the next step is ready. "Moving on from this pointless conversation, if you'll all follow me." I
guide the lot into the back room and stop in front of the portrait of a young girl. "Always a
pleasure seeing you Ariana." I say, she gives me a soft smile and a slightly bows her head. I
step aside and motion for everyone to climb in. Theo goes first to lead the way and Granger
and I are the last to enter.

As the portrait closes and we begin making our way through the tunnel she asks "That was
their younger sister, Ariana, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"How is it that you know him? You two seemed rather familiar with one another."

"I wouldn't say we're familiar. When Weaslette discovered the passageway in the room of
requirement I figured out where it lead to, he just happened to be on the other end. In my
opinion he's a bit of a git."

"He briefly mentioned that you spoke about me."

"Did he?"

"I'm just curious as to how I was of any importance when talking to him about this plan."

"You are the only important factor when it came to this, love." I tell her. "Do you really
believe I would've done a single thing for any of these people if you weren't involved? If it
didn't mean something to you that I did?"
"I'd like to believe so."

"Then by all means continue to do so but just know, it's not the truth." In the distance I can
see light beginning to break through meaning we're getting close. I grab Granger's arm to
stop her and say "I need you to promise me something."

"Okay, what is it?"

"Promise me that you'll put yourself first today. That no matter what happens you'll value
your own life more than other's."

"Draco, you know that I can't-"

"Promise me Granger. If you don't then I can't say I'll follow through with any of this. If you
don't I won't be able to stop myself from taking you and I far away from here and leaving
everyone behind."

She lowers her head and tugs at the sleeve of her shirt. "Okay." She whispers. "I promise."

"You promise, what?"

Her eyes find mine again. "I promise to put myself first today."

For once she actually seems like she's being genuine which is relieving. We continue on until
we catch up with the rest of the group. Making my way through and up to the front with
Theo, I pat his back as a way to communicate to him that everything is going to be fine, that
we got this. Pushing open the portrait, students below turn their heads and get up to their feet.
I let Potter step forward which seemed to be quite the crowd pleaser. As everyone claps and
celebrates that the almighty chosen one has returned I help everyone get down. Everyone
swarms Potter, hugging and telling him how happy they are to see him but the crowd quickly
splits in half when freckles appears.

"Harry." She gasps, her eyes wide as she awkwardly stands there.

"H-hi Ginny." He stutters.

"Er-how are you?" She asks.

"Fine erm-and yourself?"

"Just peachy."

This is fucking painful to watch. Even with the possibility of dying today the pair are still
incapable of admitting that they both have feelings for one another. At this point I think
there's a better chance Longbottom will get married before either of them make a move. As
much as I enjoy watching this trainwreck there are a few things that still need to be done.
Clearing my throat, I move in-between the two of them.

"Freckles, glad to see you're still alive." I smirk.

"Can't say the same for you."

"Ah don't worry that'll change soon."

Her head cocks and eyebrows pull together. "What do you mean?"

I wave my hand, brushing off the topic. "Someone," I drawl as I side eye Percy. "Caused the
alarms to go off in Hogsmeade. Has there been any talks about that yet?"

"Yes. Snape just made an announcement, he wants all of the students to gather in the great
hall in five minutes."

"Very well." I say before calling Potter forward. "You'll go with them, throw on a robe or
something to help blend in. You can make your big entrance just like you've constantly talked
about and then the rest of us will join. I'll take care of Snape, once he's gone Theo and I will
head down to the chamber and you, Granger and Weasley will head back here to look for the
diadem."

1:30 am

Potter is giving his little speech as I make my way along the wall to the other end of the
room. I've just finished taking out both of the Carrows when he starts shouting. "Tell them
how it happened that night! Tell them how you looked him in the eye, a man who trusted you,
and killed him!" Gods he's dramatic. He wasn't even there when it happened, why is there
such a large stick up his arse. Just as Snape draws his wand I wrap my arm around his chest
and hold the edge of my knife against his neck.

"I see you still haven't figured out how to use shampoo. Come on Snape, as headmaster you
could at least try to maintain your hygiene."

"Lieutenant General Malfoy." He hums.

"It's just Malfoy now. As you can see," Turning him around so that he has a view of the
Carrow sibling's dead bodies. "I've switched teams."

"I'm sure your father has some less than kind words on the matter."

"That's nothing new to me, headmaster. I've been a disappointment to that man since the day I
was born. So if you planned to somehow use him against me, it's not going to work."

"You've misunderstood, I have no intention of trying to sway you. By all means, kill me but
before you do I urge you to use legilimency on me. You're quite skilled in that, are you not?"

"If this is your way of trying to stall-"

"It's not. You remember that night in the astronomy tower? I told you that everything will
make sense with time, now is that time."
"Malfoy what are you doing? Do it already!" Potter yells.

"Potter shut the fuck up! Go find the bloody diadem, I'll catch up with you in a bit."

Hermione speaks up next "But Draco-"

"Go Granger." I command. "I'll be fine."

Lupin grabs the both of them and escorts them out and McGonagall begins working with the
other professors to calm the rest of the students down while I pull Snape off to the side, Theo
joining me.

"You have three minutes, speak." I tell him.

"Harry is the chosen one in his own right but so are you, Mr. Malfoy." He begins. "Your part
was just as essential as his was in all of this."

"All of this? What are you on about?"

"Killing Voldemort."

"You're trying to tell me that all this time you've wanted him dead?" Theo asks. "That's a
pretty pathetic way to try and save your own arse."

"Yeah it's not adding up." I add on. "If you were really working against him this whole time
then you wouldn't have killed Dumbledore."

"I only killed him because he requested it of me." Snape tells us. "You had to be the one to
disarm him but you couldn't kill him. Voldemort needed to believe that I was the owner of the
elder wand."

"Well you fucked up in that department because he's aware that you're not."

"Yes, I recently heard the news." He sighs. I've never heard this man sigh before, can't say I
like it. "This isn't how it was supposed to go."

"How was it supposed to then?" Theo questions.

"Eventually you were to discover the situation with the elder wand and have Harry disarm
you. Voldemort was to remain believing I was the true owner and kill me once he realized he
didn't have its full allegiance."

"You're leaving out the part where you knew that Potter needed to die and that Voldemort
needed to be the one to do it."

His eyebrow lifts slightly. "How did you?"

"He can survive it though, can't he?" I ask.

"Dumbledore always believed he could."

"Wonderful. Since you've provided me with absolutely nothing of use and your three minutes
are up, I believe it's time for you to die, just like you had planned."

"You're not going to use legilimency on me to validate my story?"

"No. Why would I waste my time doing that? It doesn't change anything." Raising my knife
again I say "Don't worry headmaster, I'll make this as painless as possible." Puncturing the
side of his neck, his hands fly up to the wound as his back falls against the wall and his body
slides down to the ground. "Say hi to Mrs. Potter for me, would you?"

1:58 am

We're standing outside of the chamber of secrets, Theo steps forward and clears his throat
before giving his best attempt at parseltongue. "Epsa marhata." Surprisingly, it worked.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

"Green apple."

"Why?"

"I don't know." He shrugs. "It's all I remembered."

What an idiot. Once the door fully unlocks and opens, we run inside and gather the basilisk
fangs. It seemed like a smart move to grab more than one considering who else is involved.
Knowing Weaslebee he'd most likely find some way to lose the damn thing. As we're heading
back to the room of requirement all of the torches dim and a loud shriek bounces off the
walls. Looking to my right I see a girl hunched over, her hands tightly pressed against her
ears and then I hear it, Voldemort's voice.

"I know that many of you want to fight. Some of you may even think to fight is wise but this
is folly. Give me Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. Do this and none shall be harmed. Give me
them and I shall leave Hogwarts untouched. Give me Harry and Draco and you will be
rewarded. You have one hour."

The torches ignite again, students around us stop in their tracks and stare at me. "If any of
you want to try and lay a single finger on me then go right ahead." I state. "Can't say it'd be a
very wise choice though." Their eyes quickly avert and they continue pushing their way
through the corridor.

"One hour? We didn't plan on having a time limit mate." Theo says to me.

"Not a specific one but we knew we didn't have all the time in the world. This doesn't change
the plan though, we continue to stick to it, got it?"

2:15 am
Just as we're reaching the fifth floor the sound of glass breaking and a loud crash is followed
by several students screaming. The death eaters must've broken through the wards. As much
as I don't care about what happens to the other students we can't just walk away and let them
invade the school, we still have too many horcruxes to destroy. Theo and I take a sharp left
and enter the corridor and spot four death eaters. We both break off, him to the right and
myself to the left and simultaneously take out the first pair. As soon as we grab onto the last
two I hear Theo shout "What the fuck are you doing here?" Confused, I look to the side to see
none other than Pansy. What the? Pulling the mask off of the individual in my grasp I find
myself face to face with Blaise.

"Hey mate, good to see you!" He exclaims before throwing his arms around me. I peel his
body off of me and drag him over to where Theo and Pansy are.

"Why are you two here?" I question.

"Moldy Voldy is making everyone fight, it doesn't matter what sector you're in." Blaise
informs us.

Of course he is. It doesn't matter that he's already doubled the size of the Reformation since
I've left. I bet he even has the old hags out there fighting right now. This is fine though, Theo
can take them with him and then I'll know that they're all safe. Pans is having a moment like
she usually does, scolding Theo for letting her believe that he's been dead this entire time.

"I hate to interrupt this lovers quarrel but it's really not the time." I say. "Theo, change of
plans. Give me the basilisk fangs and use the portkey, take Pans and Blaise with you."

"Hell no! I'm staying until we destroy the other two horcruxes."

I run my hand down the length of my face and let out an exasperated groan. "Theo, stop
being a bitch and just go."

"No, I'm not leaving you any sooner than I have to! This is the last time I'm ever going to see-
"

I hold my hand up to stop him, glaring him down for opening his big mouth.

"Last time?" Pansy asks. "What does Theo mean by last time?"

"Nothing Pans."

"You're lying. I know you're lying. Tell me what's going on Draco!"

"Way to go shithead." I spit over at Theo. "Since you just have to know, today will be the last
time this world is graced by my presence."

Both Blaise and Pansy's jaws drop at my statement and they immediately begin arguing and
shouting at me.

"You can't just go off and die!" Blaise yells.

"Is this all for the stupid mudblood?" Pansy asks. "Was she the one who asked this of you?"

"Don't fucking call her that Pans." I snipe. "And no, she's just as opposed to it as you are."

"Then why are you doing it?!"

"Because it's what needs to be done Pans!" I shout. "Unless you want to live under
Voldemort's ruling forever you need to get the fuck out of my way and go with Theo!"

"You're such a selfish prick!" She yells, smacking my chest. "Have you ever thought that
maybe I don't care about whether or not Voldemort lives or dies?! That I'd rather spend the
rest of my life as a stupid death eater than not have you around?!" Her voice breaking and
tears pouring out from her eyes as she continues to hit me.

I gather her wrists in my hand to stop her. "Pans look at me." I say, lifting her chin with my
other hand and wiping her cheek with my thumb. "You're going to be fine, you're all going to
be fine but I need to do this. You don't need to agree with it but I do need you to understand,
this is already hard enough for me as it is."

"I never meant any of those horrible things I said to you." She chokes out. "Especially back
in Doncaster."

"I know Pans." I sigh. "I didn't either." She tightly wraps her arms around me, gripping onto
my shirt as she continues to cry.

"I love you Draco, even if you are a major dick most of the time."

"Yeah, I love you too Pans." Removing her arms from me I step back and turn to Blaise. The
man who is usually always cracking jokes has never looked more serious than he does right
now. Unlike Pansy, there were no words that needed to be said for us to know how the other
felt. Instead, we give each other a quick hug and pat on the back. Theo and I share the same
exchange, especially since we already had our little sappy heart to heart moment earlier.

"Right, now you all need to go." I say as Theo hands me the basilisk fangs. "That portkey
will take you to the Malfoy estate in France. Everything you need should be there, I had
Mippy set it all up a few days ago."

If you were to ask me a few weeks ago if I cared about any of their well-beings I would've
told you no and to fuck off but standing her now, watching as Theo removes the portkey from
his pocket and they all huddle together I find my answer changing. They've been the only
constant in my life, I always knew that no matter what arguments we got into I'd still have
them at the end of the day. It's disgusting to admit but they're my family so knowing that
they're going to be okay means a lot to me. Pansy grips tightly onto Theo and Blaise's arm, I
offer them a half smile and a nod before they all disappear before me.

2:50 am
I've finally reached the seventh floor and I'm only a few turns away from the room of
requirement when I hear someone call my name from behind. "Hello lover." Not this bitch.
Turning, I see Katya with a giant grin on her face as walks towards me, her heels clicking
against the floor. Of course the bint is wearing heels to a bloody war. "You look surprised to
see me Dray?"

"Not surprised, just more annoyed that you're still alive."

"That's not very nice."

"Since when have I ever done nice?"

"I have to say Dray, father and I were pretty disappointed when we heard of your change in
allegiance."

"Darn, how will I ever be able to live with myself?" I say, rolling my eyes. "As horrible as it
was to see you, I have somewhere to be." As I turn back around I feel a stabbing pain in the
back of my left arm. Looking down at the area I see a small dagger lodged into my skin.
Removing it and tossing it onto the ground I say "Well that was rude."

"Sorry lover but the boss gave his orders and one of them includes bringing you to him."

"And you think you're going to be the one to do that?" I mock. "You're even more delusional
than I thought." In one stride I close the distance between us and throw her down onto the
ground, my knife at her abdomen.

"Come on, you won't kill me, we have history. At one point I even heard your father
discussing us getting married one day. You wouldn't kill your future wife, would you Dray?"

"You will never be my wife Katya. My father has never and will never have any say in that
department."

"Don't be so sure about that." She grins.

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't honestly believe that Voldemort cared about who you were courting, do you?"
She asks. That never did make sense to me now that I think about it. "Your father suggested it
to him. He always knew you had some fascination with the mudblood and when he heard
whispers about the two of you being together at school he wanted to make sure that it didn't
progress any further. Hence, the courting order."

I push the tip of my blade further into her stomach causing her to let out a small cry. "Why
are you telling me this Katya?"

"No specific reason. I just knew it would make you mad and you know how I love it when
you get mad."

I don't have time for this shit. The hour is quickly ending and I still haven't gotten these damn
fangs to Granger yet. "As much as I wish I could drag this out and make you suffer for as
long as possible, I'm running on a bit of a tight schedule. Have fun burning in hell Katya, I'm
sure I'll meet you there soon." Pulling my hand back slightly, I forcefully drive it forward into
her stomach and twist before lifting myself off of her.

3:20 am

Finally, I reach the room of requirement. Granger is pacing back and forth while Weasley and
Potter are sat on the ground.

"Bloody hell Mione, calm down, I'm sure he's fine." Weasley tells her.

"Shut up Ron!" She scolds. "He should've been back by now."

"So did you find it or not?" I ask, approaching the trio. Granger's shoulders drop as she lets
out a breath of relief and runs over to me, her body crashing into mine as she tightly wraps
her arms around me.

"Draco! I was so worried that something had happened to you."

"I'm alright love."

"Where's Theo?" Potter asks as he gets up.

"He's gone."

"Gone?"

"Yes. Now did you find the damn thing?"

Once he holds it up for me to see I toss him one of the basilisk fangs and hand the other to
Granger.

"Why are you giving this to me?" She asks.

"You have the cup which means you get to destroy it."

"I don't know if I can do it."

"You can and you will." Reaching into her bag, I remove the cup and place it on the ground in
front of us. We both crouch down and her hand shakes as she grips onto the fang. Potter and
Weasley have the diadem on the ground before them and look over at us, waiting for the
signal. "Take a deep breath love." I tell her. "You're a lot stronger than you give yourself
credit for. You can do this." As her hand steadies I offer Potter a nod. The two of them both
raise their arms and stab down into the horcruxes in front of them, black smoke shooting out.

Potter falls back and his eyes go wide. At some point freckles must've entered because almost
immediately she's by his side and holding onto him as she asks if he's alright. It takes him a
few minutes but he finally comes to.
"It's working." He says. "It's weakening him, I can feel it." Before anyone can say anything
the lights around us dim again and this time its Granger who is screaming as she covers her
hears. Just like last time, Voldemort's voice begins echoing throughout the room.

"You have fought valiantly but in vain. I do not wish this, every drop of magical blood spilt is
a terrible waste. I therefore command my forces to retreat, in their absence dispose of your
dead with dignity. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, I now speak directly to the both of you.
On this night, you have allowed your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself.
There is no greater dishonor. Join me in the forbidden forest and confront your fate. If you do
not do this, I shall kill every last man, woman and child who tries to conceal you from me."

Potter and I look over at one another and share a look of understanding, the time has finally
come. He stumbles up to his feet and walks over to my side before speaking to the rest of
them. "After me, all you have to do is destroy the snake and it's just him."

"Woah, what are you on about mate?" Weaslebee asks. "After you?"

"We didn't want to tell any of you until it was time." He continues. "There was no sense in
having you both worry more than you already were. Malfoy and I have had time to come to
terms with this, it's what needs to be done."

"No." Freckles chokes out, shaking her head. "I'm not losing the both of you, you're not
going." Potter and Weasley both chase after her, leaving me alone with Granger.

"I'm coming with you." She says.

"No, you're not."

"Yes."

"No Granger, you're not coming."

"I'm not letting you two go alone!" She argues.

"We won't be alone, we'll have each other, not that his company means much to me."

"I want to go with you Draco."

"I don't want you there." I tell her, my words hitting her like a dagger to the heart. "I want
you to stay here with the rest of your friends, I want you to stay safe." I caress her cheek in
my hand. "I want your last memory of me to be this moment. When you think back on the
last time you saw me I want you to remember the way I held your cheek in my hand, how I
kissed you and how you felt every drop of love I have for you when I did so. I want you to
remember me alive, not some lifeless body on the ground. Stay here. Don't follow us."

Her bottom lip quivers as she shuts her eyes, unable to hold back her tears. "I'm not ready to
say goodbye." Her voice breaking. "There's so many things I still haven't had the chance to
tell you, things I still want to experience together. You asked me once if I ever saw a future
with you and I said no but that was a lie. I want forever with you. I want to continue to fight
with you and make up and grow old together. Please don't go, don't leave me Draco."
I can feel her pulse emanating from my ring. It's quick and unsteady and it's breaking me but
I can't give into her, not this time around.

"I promise that one day you and I will meet again, whether it be on the other side or in
another life. I will always come back for you, it just might take me a bit this time around. But
right now you have to let me go, love. Let me, for once, do the right thing. Let me go be the
man you always believed I was, the man you deserve. I love you Hermione, I will
always love you, never forget that."

Brushing my thumb along her bottom lip I can't help but smile. How lucky am I to have ever
had this woman love me. It might be a cruel thing to think but there's satisfaction in knowing
that she's this distressed over losing me. Never in my life did I think I would get to
experience something like this, to have someone love me like she does. Leaning my head
down, I caress her lips with mine. I hope she feels it, I hope she can tell how much I truly
fucking love her.

3:45 am

Potter managed to calm Weaslette down but that isn't to say she's okay. At least Granger has
had time to process me leaving, not to say this is any easier for her but we did just hit freckles
with both at the same time.

"You're going to be fine." I say, nudging her shoulder.

"I hate you."

"I would hope so."

"How can you be so okay with leaving us like this? Leaving Hermione?"

Her question sent a pain through me I wasn't prepared for. I don't want to view this as me
leaving her. I would never leave her. No. What I'm doing is sacrificing for her. I'm giving my
life so that she may keep hers.

"I have something for you." I tell her, ignoring her question. Removing the knife from my
chest I take one last look at it before placing it in her hands. "That's my favorite one so if you
lose it I will come back from the dead just to kill you."

Great. Now she's crying again. There will never be a time where I'm not uncomfortable at the
sight of freckles breaking down. Unlike the time outside of the Slytherin common room I
attempt to console her by placing my arm around her and dragging her into me.

"What are you doing?" She asks as she wipes her nose on the back of her sleeve.

"The fuck does it look like?" I scoff. "I'm hugging you. Enjoy it while it lasts, it will be the
last time after all."

"That's not funny." She says, punching me in the stomach.

Once everyone has had their chance to say their goodbyes we all head out. The walk was
silent and Granger tightly gripped onto me the entire way. As we reach the doors Potter and I
step ahead of everyone and remind them once again that all they'll need to do is kill the snake
and then Voldemort will just be another man. I give Granger the basilisk fangs and kiss her
once more.

"I love you Hermione."

"I love you too Draco."

4:15 am

The forbidden forest has always freaked me out, maybe it's because of that one time we all
had to serve detention out here but this time as we walk through it feels even more
harrowing. I've never put much thought into how I would feel right before I died but that's
most likely due to the fact that I never imagined I'd have some sort of warning beforehand. I
can see them in the far distance, Voldemort's bald head is perfectly catching the moonlight
but even I can't seem to find the energy right now to make some remark about it.

The grass beneath us makes a crunching noise as we approach him. There's a group of death
eaters stood behind him, I only recognize a few but one of them is my mother. Her eyes fill
with horror as they land on me. I think she hoped that I would change my mind, send Potter
on his own, run away.

"Ah, Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy, how nice of you to finally join us." Voldemort exclaims.
"You've greatly disappointed Mr. Malfoy. You were meant for such great things but now here
you are, standing before me, ready to die for the people who would rather see you rot in a cell
at Azkaban."

I don't say anything. There's nothing to say. I'm not going to beg for mercy or justify my
actions. If I'm going to die then I'm going to keep my dignity.

"Come forward." He commands and I do. "Kneel." He says, so I do. "Your death is a result of
your treachery, Mr. Malfoy. You not only worked alongside those who stood against me but
also withheld information on the true owner of the elder wand, letting me believe that it was
Severus."

Why does there always have to be a speech? If he keeps talking I'll die of boredom before he
gets the chance to actually do it. I can see my mother out of the corner of my eyes, it reminds
me a lot of how she looked the day I got the dark mark. She can't do anything to stop this,
just like she couldn't back then.

Voldemort raises his wand, readying himself to kill me when Potter shouts "Stop!" What the
fuck is he doing? Everyone's attention snaps over to him, Greyback holds him back as he
tries to step forward. "He isn't the owner of the elder wand." He says. Shut the fuck up Potter.

"He's not?" Voldemort questions.

"No."

"Then tell me Potter, who is?"

What the fuck is he doing? I catch his gaze and mouth "don't do this." but he ignores me and
says "I am." Voldemort swiftly rushes over to him.

"Don't lie to me." He seethes.

"I'm not. You can even see for yourself."

Everyone watches as he pushes his way into his mind, it only takes him a few minutes to
gather the information needed to validate Potter's statement.

"She needs you." Is all Potter says to me before a burst of light shoots out from the tip of
Voldemort's wand and slams into his chest, his body flying back and onto the ground. My
mother is called forward to verify that he's dead. She takes her time walking over to him. It
feels like hours have passed before she looks back at us and says "Dead." What the actual
fuck just happened? This was not the plan. This is not how it was supposed to go.

"You." Voldemort snarls, wrapping his hand around my throat. "You have betrayed me far too
many times." His grip tightening, each breath becoming harder to draw in. I can feel my eyes
beginning to roll back when I hear my father's voice.

"Look who I found, my lord."

I'm dropped to the ground and begin coughing as I try to catch my breath but all of the air is
knocked out of me again when I see who my father is dragging forward. Granger. He tosses
her down onto the ground, just before Voldemort's feet.

"Hermione Granger." He sings. "What a pretty girl."

"Kill her, my lord." My father suggests. "Killing Draco would be far too easy of an out for
him after all he's done. If you really want to hurt him, to make him suffer, kill his pretty little
mudblood."

Instantly I lunge forward, I don't even know which one of them I'm going for but it doesn't
matter but I'm blindsided by a stupefy from Greyback. Every muscle in me tenses and freezes
and I can't move. I can't do anything but just lay there like a pathetic and useless piece of
fucking shit. My father approaches me, grabs me by the back of my neck and holds me up.

"I want you to remember something son." He whispers in my ear. "This is your fault."

I try to scream, to move, to fight back, anything but I can't. All I can do is sit here frozen in
place and watch. I hear my mother try to stop him, I can hear her rustling off to the side but
another stupefy is thrown and once I hear the thud I know that she's now in the same position
as me.

My father reaches around and removes one my knives and tosses it over to Voldemort. He's
going to use my own fucking knife to do it because he's a sadistic fuck. My heart is beating
so fast and breaking over and over as I watch him step towards her and grab her by the back
of her hair. He's saying something to her but I can't hear it. All I can hear is my own voice
screaming and shouting for him to stop but he doesn't. His hand raises and her eyes flick over
to me, a single tear falls from the corner of her eye and she mouths "I love you" just as the
blade drives into her stomach.

It feels like every bone in my body was simultaneously broken, my heart ripped from my
chest and pain. Unimaginable pain and guilt and anger and then suddenly a sharp sting in my
back and everything is black.
 Chapter 76

May 3 1998

All my life I've been in survival mode. Every decision I made was purely based on self
preservation and then came along Granger. My own well-being ceased to hold any
importance, she became my life and so now, as I struggle to open my eyes and the weight of
what feels like a thousand bricks on my chest, I find myself wanting nothing more than to be
dead. I just lay here, completely debilitated by denial, staring at the ceiling.

I twist my ring between my fingers and wait to feel something, even the faintest pulse but
there's nothing. No. It wasn't real. This isn't real. It can't be. There's a light knock on my door
as it begins creeping open, my mother's head popping inside as she says "Draco, are you
awake?" I'm silent. This is all just a nightmare. I'll wake up soon. My mother must've stepped
further in and seen that my eyes were open because now she's rushing across the room, her
hands folding overtop mine, the mattress dipping down as she sits beside me.

"Do you know where you are?" She asks, her eyes flicking back and forth between mine. Of
course I do, I'm in my room at the manor. "Do you know what day it is?" Now that, I don't
have an answer to. "It's Sunday May 3." She tells me. Okay, so it's the next day. How did I
get here? The last thing I remember is- my eye twitches slightly. Mother must've been able to
read my mind because she goes on to say "I brought you here when the rest headed back to
Hogwarts."

"Is father here?" I ask, unsure of how I'll react if she says yes.

Her head shakes. "I don't know where he is, he hasn't returned." I feel her hand tighten
around mine. "Draco, do you remember what happened?"

Please don't say it, don't make me relive it.

"The boy stepped forward and was killed, I've received word that he survived somehow.
Draco, darling." Her voice softening as her fingers brush the hair off of my forehead. "They
did it, Voldemort is dead, they won. But the girl.." She trails off.

No. I don't want to hear it. It isn't true.

"Hermione- she-"

Sitting up, I climb off of my bed and walk over to my closet. Quickly, I slip on a jacket, a pair
of shoes and grab the single knife that lay on my dresser. My mother is calling out for me as I
descend down the stairs but I don't respond. I head straight for the kitchens and locate Mippy.

"Mr. Malfoy!" She exclaims, startled by my sudden presence. "Are you hungry? Mippy can
make you something!"

"Take me to the cottage." I instruct.

"Yes Mr. Malfoy. Right away Mr. Malfoy."

As she reaches for my hand my mother barges in. "Draco, where are you going?"

"I made a promise mother. I intend to make good on it." Turning my attention back to the
house elf I say "Now, Mippy."

I'm not even sure how many of them survived or if they'd even come back here but it's the
only place I could think of. My hand shakes as it hovers over the handle. If I step in there and
she doesn't come running towards me, if she doesn't throw her body into my arms like
always, I-

Taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling, I turn the knob and push the door open. As I step
inside I find myself wishing I appreciated my time here, our time here. It was overcrowded
and boring but we were together. The sound of footsteps cause my head to snap up but once I
see that it's just him my chest tightens and throat begins to close.

"Mr. Malfoy, you shouldn't be here." His hair is disheveled and it's obvious he has yet to
shower as dirt still covers his face. I don't know how to explain it but I can feel his grief, the
sorrow that's consuming him. I recognize the strain in his eyes, it's the kind that only one
holds when they've lost someone that they love. "The ministry has already begun rebuilding
and there's an order out for y-"

"Where is she?" I ask.

His eyebrows pull together. "Where is who?" He takes notice of my grip tightening around
the handle of my knife and I swear I can see his heart visibly break for me. I don't want his
pity, I want him to answer my damn question.

"Where is she Lupin?" I reiterate, my tone sharper - harsher.

His face softens as he slowly shakes his head. "She's gone." He tells me as he takes a step
forward.

"No."

"I'm sorry." Now only an arms length away, he places his hand on my shoulder.
"I'm so sorry."

"She can't-you're lying!" I shout, slapping his arm away. "You're fucking lying to me Lupin!
Tell me that you're lying! Tell me where she is!"

"Draco.." his voice is too tender, too full of hurt and sympathy.

"No you're- this isn't-" It feels like someone has cracked open my chest and is gripping
tightly onto my heart, squeezing and twisting it with each breath I take. It hurts. It fucking
hurts and this doesn't make sense. This doesn't make any fucking sense! How did this
happen? Why did this happen? I can't take it. The pain is too much for me and I can't handle
it, I can't-
"Hermione gave me a-"

Hearing her name causes a flip to switch in my head, for all of the agony to be pushed aside
to leave me only with anger. Anger for myself, for my father, Voldemort and all of her
stupid stupid friends who failed to protect her. I told her that if anything ever happened to her
that I would kill them and I meant it. The man before me isn't a man at all, he's just a
contributing factor in her death and he deserves to die.

Lupin notes my shift in demeanor and immediately takes a step back. "This isn't what she
would've wanted." He tells me.

"How would you know? It's not like she's here for us to ask. Like you said Lupin, she's
gone." Verbally admitting it causes bile to rise in the back of my throat but I swallow it back.
"Where were you when she was taken?" I ask as I continue stepping into him. "Why was my
father able to so easily capture her?"

"I-I don't know." He replies as his back meets the wall. "I was in the great hall helping the
healers."

"So you never saw her?"

"No."

"You're lying." I seethe, my fist meeting the side of his jaw. "There's no possible way Granger
didn't come looking for you, to make sure that you were alright." Another blow to his face.
"Tell me the truth Lupin, don't let your last words be a lie."

He raises his hand in surrender. "I only saw her for a second." He coughs out. Reaching
down, I grab him by the collar of his shirt, lift him up and pin him against the wall, digging
the edge of my knife into his throat. "The second she saw Ron and his family mourning Fred
she lost it. She ran out before I even had a chance to speak with her."

"And you didn't think to run after her? You just let her go like that?!" His skin is now broken
and blood has begun to stain my hand.

"I knew she was going to go find you. There was nothing that I could've said to stop her and
you know that. What was I supposed to do?"

"Lock her in a fucking broom closet for all I care! Anything! But don't just let her run off on
her own!"

"I'm sorry Draco, truly, I'll never be able to forgive myself but you need to understand that I
wasn't in the right headspace. I had just lost Tonks, Fred and so many others. I couldn't- I
wasn't thinking straight." He's on the verge of tears and it infuriates me. Granger would still
be here if he had just taken two seconds to go to her, to stop her.

"Hermione loved you and I know I don't need to tell you that but you deserve to hear it."
Hearing her name again breaks me. "She loved you more than anyone was ever willing to
take the time to understand." He continues. "On paper you two didn't make sense but I saw it.
I saw the way you both looked at each other, how you would instantly relax when in her
company."

My hand is shaking and I can feel the hurt forcing its way back in as the anger begins to
dissipate.

"What you two had was very special Draco and even though she may not be here anymore
you'll always be able to carry that with you."

I can feel them, tears. My vision is blurring as my knees buckle.

"I know this is hard and unfair. I understand your pain, you shouldn't have to be experiencing
this, not at such a young age but you need to leave. They're looking for you and I don't know
how long it'll be until they search here. Draco you need to.."

He's still talking but his words are inaudible as my ears begin to ring. I remove the knife from
his neck and stumble backwards, my left hand runs through my hair and drags down my face
as I shake my head. I can't breathe. "She's- she's gone." I croak out, the tears I was trying so
hard to fight back now streaming down my face. "I was t-there and I couldn't d-do a-
anything." My voice breaking with every word. I'm hyperventilating and no matter what I do
I can't steady it. My legs finally give out and now I'm on my knees in the middle of the room.

"Draco-"

"It was supposed to be me." My eyes snapping up to meet his. "It was always supposed to be
me!" I cry out. "It wasn't meant to go this way, it isn't fair. She was supposed to be okay. She
was going to be okay." I wrap my arms around myself as I hunch over and drop my head. As
soon as my forehead meets the floor I let out an agonized scream.

She's dead. Hermione is fucking dead. I can't even find the words to explain how I'm feeling
right now. It's like I've been punched in the stomach, all of the air escaping as my lungs are
crushed and my heart is stabbed over and over and over. Every bone in my body is cracking -
breaking. Every muscle is tensed and on fire and it feels like acid is being poured over me.
My throat is so tight and I just can't- I - she's fucking dead and I'm alive and it was never
meant to be this way.

My entire body is shaking, my fingers are ripping at the ends of my hair and I can hear
Lupin's voice again just as I feel his hand touch my back. "Don't!" I shout, sitting up. "Don't
touch me! Don't you dare fucking touch me!" I don't even recognize my own voice at this
point. It's so broken, so small - even when I'm yelling. Every word is drowning in my
suffering. The realization that Tonks and even the stupid Weasley sod being dead hurts me.
Why are they dead and I'm the one that's still alive? I don't deserve this. I don't deserve to still
be here. I don't want to be here, not without her, not without my Granger.

Lupin's eyes go wide and he tries to rush towards me but I raise my hand to stop him while
my other steadily holds the blade to my own neck.

"Hermione wouldn't want you to do this." He attempts to come across as calm but I can hear
the slight waver in his voice.
"Again with the 'Hermione wouldn't want' bull shit." I scoff. "She's dead Lupin! What she
would or wouldn't have wanted we'll never fucking know because she isn't here to tell us!"

"That may be true but I know for a fact that she wouldn't want you to kill yourself, she would
want you to live Draco."

"There's no point in living if I don't have her. She was the only thing that made waking each
day sufferable. She's what made everything worth it." I feel the sharp sting and the warmth of
my blood trickle down my hand as I push the blade deeper into my throat. "I want to be with
her Lupin, I want to be with Hermione."

"Don't do this. Let me help you."

"I'm going to be with her." As I begin sliding it across, the cool metal a harsh contrast against
the burning sensation of my skin splitting apart, I feel a sense of calm, of peace. I shut my
eyes and I see her. I see her wild curls dancing in the wind, her eyes sparkling as they look
into mine, her lips curved into a smile and she's saying my name - she's calling for me and
she looks beautiful, so fucking beautiful. "I'm coming, love." I mutter. This is what I want, to
be with her, in any way that I can.

My ears are ringing again as an explosion erupts from behind. Lupin lunges forward, knocks
the knife from my hand and blocks my body with his own to protect me from the shards
flying through the air. So many voices are bouncing off of the walls, Lupin's included. He's
yelling for them to stop, that I'm unarmed and need a healer but it doesn't appear they're
listening or maybe they are and simply don't care. A pair of hands grab onto me and flip me
onto my stomach, slamming my face into the puddle of my own blood on the floor.

"Draco Malfoy, you are hereby under arrest for your involvement with Voldemort and the
death eater regime. You will be brought to the ministry where you will remain in custody
until your hearing before the wizengamot, do you understand?"

I can feel myself fading, the pressure from the elbow on the base of my neck is not only
cutting off my air supply but also causing the gash on my neck to expand. "Understand this,
you half-wit wanker." I choke out as I lift my hand, my middle finger raised.

"You smug piece of shit." I hear someone spit out before my face is met by the underside of a
boot.

May 8 1998

"You have a visitor." The guard informs me as he blinds me with the beam of light emanating
from the tip of his wand. I hear the door slam shut and then a pair of footsteps closing in. The
sliver of light coming from the single window in the room is enough to provide me with
visual of the last person I wanted to see right now.
"How is it that you look worse than I do? I'm the one who has been denied the basic human
right of a shower for the past five days."

"Even behind bars you manage to find a way to be insufferable." He retorts. I may not be able
to see it but I know for a fact that he's rolling his eyes at me right now, at least some things
haven't changed.

I remain sat in the same spot I've been since they first shoved me in here. The shackles
around my ankles clink together as I lean back into the wall, cross my arms and extend my
legs out. "Tell me Potter, what could I have possibly done to be tormented by your presence?"

"It may be of surprise to you but me visiting was meant to be an act of comfort."

I'm ready to burst into laughter right now. Comfort? How could scarhead possibly offer me
any of that? My first three days in this dark hole were spent crying, screaming and even
attempting to suffocate myself — it didn't work (clearly). First they refuse to let me die by
healing the wound on my neck and now they're full on fucking with me by sending him in. I
don't know what kind of sick joke this is but I'm not entertaining it.

"Save your breath Potter. I assure you there isn't anything you can say or do to bring me a
single drop of the sort." There's silence between us, the only sound being the faint ticking
coming from my watch. My finger grazes over the face, my eyes close as I imagine the sound
being her heartbeat. I haven't slept more than an hour since my arrival here. Every time I shut
my eyes I kept seeing it, Granger before me as Voldemort buried my knife into her stomach.
Maybe I am dead and this is all just my own personal hell — a life without her, plagued by
the never ending replay of her demise.

"Fred died." Potter whispers, though I don't believe he intended for the words to come out in
such a small and frail manner.

"I'm aware." For once there's no mockery in my tone. There were a lot of people who lost
someone during the battle and even though I don't believe anyone can come close to feeling
as much pain as I am, I understand the struggle of coming to terms with no longer having
someone and the overwhelming grief that comes along with it. "You did it though." I
continue. "Mother told me that you managed to kill the bastard which makes sense seeing as
I'm sitting in this cell."

He nods his head "Ginny was the one to kill the snake." He tells me as he removes his glasses
and wipes them off with his shirt. "She used the sword of Gryffindor to do it." There's a
feeling of both relief knowing that freckles made it out and pride hearing that she was the one
to complete that task. The fact that the sword came to her is of no surprise to me. After
Granger, I'd say Weaslette is next in the list of most competent. Brave and fiery little thing
that witch is.

"Lupin and I are going to speak at your hearing."

"Don't."

"Don't?" He questions, his eyebrow quirking.

"I don't want your help."

"Malfoy, if we don't speak, if we don't tell them about how you helped The Order then you'll
be sentenced to life at Azkaban or maybe even the kiss."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yes, Potter, good."

"Since when have you been the type to just give up? To go down without a fight?"

"Since Hermione died." I state. This is the first time she's been brought up and I can only
imagine that was done on purpose. It looks like I've just stabbed the prat, his head turns as he
shuts his eyes but when he looks back at me all I see is the same pity filled look Lupin gave
me.

"She would want-"

Shooting up to my feet, I clear the small distance between where I'm sat and the bars that
separate Potter and I. My arm snakes between them and reaches out, grabbing onto his neck.
"Don't tell me what she would want." I snarl. "I'm sick and tired of people speaking for her."

"I'm not speaking for her, I'm speaking on behalf of her." He struggles to get the words out as
my fingers clamp harder down.

"What are you talking about?"

"Hermione-she-when we were still looking for horcruxes she wrote something, just in case
anything were to happen."

I yank him forward, his face now pressed against the metal bars. "Get to the point already
Potter."

"A letter, she wrote a letter for you." He explains. "She gave a copy to everyone."

I remember the times I'd catch her writing something down and how she would always
quickly stow it away or block it with her body so that I couldn't see.

"What are you writing?" I ask, peering over her shoulder. Her hand quickly covers the piece
of parchment, shoving it off to the side. "Is it about me?" I smirk. "Are you writing a love
letter Granger?"

She stands, her body lodging between myself and the desk. "You look tired Draco." She says
as a way to change the subject.

There were a handful of times after that moment at Grimmauld place that went the same way.
I'd walk into the room and she'd be scribbling away but the second she took notice of my
presence she'd push it aside and talk about something else to veer away from my questions
about it. I thought it was just a way for her to work through the million thoughts that seemed
to constantly run through her mind, never did I think it would be some bloody statement on
my behalf for if I ever ended up before the wizengamot.

I'm just about to question Potter further, to ask what exactly she wrote but the door swings
open and three guards begin rushing towards me. One of them pulls Potter back while
another stuns me, the third opening my cell. Potter is quickly escorted out while I'm thrown
to the ground. The two guards take turns punching and kicking me while going off about how
they can't wait for me to get what I deserve and that I should rot in a cell and be beaten for
the rest of my life for the crimes I've committed. The stupefy is wearing off, I could easily
fight back but I don't. Instead I remain still and accept each blow, happy to be feeling pain
from something other than the Granger sized hole in my heart.
 Chapter 77

May 13 1998

For the past three hours I've stood here and listened as they listed off every individual that
had the displeasure of my company since I joined the death eaters. Horrific gasps often filled
the air whenever specifics were provided on their state when discovered. I'm bored, annoyed
and there's a knot in my neck that I can't rid myself of no matter how much I massage it. I've
never sat in on a proper wizengamot trial before, the closest thing to one I've experienced
were the muggle trials Umbridge conducted and those were far shorter.

Everyone has just returned from their fifteen minute recess, I wasn't offered the same luxury.
The rows begin to line with red and black robes. I've come to find that the color differentiates
the lot on their rank. Red is worn by those whose opinions are valued but black is sported by
the ones who essentially have the final say.

Shacklebolt was appointed minister but I wasn't foolish enough to believe for even a moment
that it would work in my favor. Sure, he was a part of The Order and is aware of the
information and help that I provided but his title is new. Starting off by pardoning me of my
crimes would not only look bad on his behalf but would surely result in a prompt dismissal.

"Mr. Malfoy." He begins. "We will now be hearing from witnesses. Once those have
concluded you will be given a chance to also speak, do you understand?"

Why does everyone keep asking me that? Do I look like an inept muppet? Of course I
understand, I do have a brain after all. My response to Shacklebolt is nonverbal, a simple
wave of my hand as if this entire trial is nothing more than an inconvenience to me. He
lowers his eyes and gives me a disapproving look before letting out a sigh and calling
forward the first witness. My eyes are trained on the floor of the cage, my foot kicks at a
single pebble that clinks against the metal bars just as the questioning begins.

"Please state your full name." Shacklebolt instructs.

"Remus John Lupin." Oh great, he's here. The bruising along his jawline has almost
completely healed as is the cut across the mid of his neck. Part of me feels bad for what I did
to him but in my defense, I could have actually killed him but I didn't. I'd say that should
count for something. He starts off by sharing his occupation, his involvement with The Order
and then, what everyone in the stands really wants to hear, he begins talking about what I've
done.

"Mr. Malfoy was in fact a death eater. He served as a Lieutenant General within the
Reformation sector and was essentially Voldemort's right hand man." Is he supposed to be
advocating for me right now? Because if so, he's going at it in a really shit way. "I'm not here
today to stand before you all and justify nor excuse any of Mr. Malfoy's actions. You have all
heard hours of the the horrendous things he has done but what you haven't heard is the full
story, which is what I am here to provide."
It's reminding me of being in class back at Hogwarts as I listen to him drone on about my part
within The Order, how I made an unbreakable vow and provided them with any knowledge I
had on the whereabouts of the horcurxes. He finishes off his testimony with going over the
war, how I orchestrated the Hogwarts infiltration and even the part about me willing to
sacrifice myself for "the greater good". His words, not mine. My jaw is tightening and fist
clenching as I anticipate him bringing her up but he doesn't.

They all begin mumbling amongst themselves before one lady clears her throat and begins
spitting out a rapid fire of questions for him, trying to find any holes in his story but she
doesn't. Shacklebolt and Lupin exchange a look, if I were to read into it I'd say Lupin was
telling him to do what he can to help me to which Shacklebolt replied with something along
the lines of his hands being tied. Whatever. I'm not here today to receive any sort of
redemption. If it were up to me I would've already been on my way to Azkaban.

I don't need nor do I want any sympathy or empathy from anyone, especially none that sit in
this room. The things I did for The Order were not in hopes of helping to clear my name or
provide me with a chance at escaping my inevitable sentencing. They were for Granger. From
the moment I found out that I was to become a death eater I knew that if I managed to
survive, this day would come. I feel things now that I didn't expect to but that's not to say I
would go back and refuse orders. I was fully aware of what I was doing, I was occluding not
under an imperio.

Lupin is dismissed and the next person to step forward is someone I definitely wasn't
expecting. She's asked to state her name, just like Lupin was and she does. "Ginevra Molly
Weasley but please, call me Ginny."

"Ginny." Shacklebolt says through a small smile. "Would you please describe your
relationship with Mr. Malfoy."

Her eyes dart over to me and the corner of her mouth tugs up slightly before turning her
attention back to the council. "We tolerate one another." She answers.

"How would you describe Mr. Malfoy's character?" A lady dressed in a red robe asks.

Freckles searches the stands as she tries to locate who specifically just spoke but gives up
after a few seconds. "Draco is a prat." She casually states. I hide my chuckle behind a cough
which earns me a glare from Shacklebolt and a few of the others within the stands.
Apparently when one is on trial they're not allowed to laugh.

"A prat that has managed to surprise me with his growth and complexity." Freckles
continues.

"Would you please elaborate on that?" Another random voice within the sea of robes
requests.

"Draco Malfoy was your standard bully while at Hogwarts. He was arrogant, crass and had
the world's worst temper. It took very little to set him off and nearly every student who
visited the infirmary was on his behalf. He was completely incapable of saying a single world
without a hint of mockery and I'm almost positive he's the reason one of the students was sent
home early after going completely mental."

This. This is what I wanted. Tell them the truth freckles, show them that I'm a piece of shit,
that I'm undeserving of any forgiveness.

"Miss Weasley." Shacklebolt interjects. "Is there a point to be made within this oration of
yours?"

"Oh-right." She shakes her head and straightens her posture before continuing. "I began the
painful process of getting to know Draco due to some.. mutual interests. He was everything I
expected him to be, which in simple terms was a dick, forgive my language. What I didn't
account nor could have possibly prepared myself for was finding out that he had a heart. That
man over there," Her arm extending and finger pointing at me, as if they had no clue who she
was referring to. "Is so full of shit. He goes on about how he's selfish but I've seen him put
another's life so far above his own time and time again. He has more scars on his body than
people in this room and has undergone things I'm sure none of you want to even imagine. It
might sound harsh but there's nothing special about him, he's just like us, he's a human being
who has made some poor decisions and at the end of the day he fought with us, not against
us."

Fuck you Ginny. Go back to speaking ill of me, to rolling your eyes and scoffing at my every
word. Go back to calling me a dick and telling them how vile I am. Stop trying to humanize
me, to garner me commiseration, I don't want it. I don't deserve it.

The same woman who questioned Lupin is now doing the same to her. She asks if she ever
heard me state that I had regrets for what I've done.

"No, I can't say that I have."

"Did he ever show remorse for his cruel acts?"

"No but-"

"And wasn't it he who killed your eldest brother, Bill?"

"Yes but if you'd just let me–"

"Miss Weasley." The woman cutting her off once again. "Do you or have ever had
any feelings for Mr. Malfoy?"

Now freckles looks both shocked and offended. "Pardon me?" She asks, appalled by the
question.

"Have you ever been romantically involved with the accused?"

"That would be like being with my own brother!"

"Answer the question, Ginny." Shacklebolt calmly tells her.

"No. I have never once had feelings for or been romantically involved with Draco Malfoy."
She states, clearly irritated that she even had to clarify.

"Very well." The woman hums. "We will take your statement into consideration. Thank you
for your time Miss Weasley, you may exit the room now."

As she steps down from the podium and walks off, her eyes catch mine. I can see that she's
displeased with how that went. I offer her a slight shrug and a look that says "it's whatever,
you did your best." And she did, just like Lupin but they're both too blinded by hope to see
the reality of my situation. This whole hearing is merely a formality, a step that must be
taken, but my fate was decided before I entered the room, probably even before I was in their
custody. They could tell them that I was the one who killed Voldemort and that I saved an
entire room full of newborns or some shit and it still wouldn't change a damn thing.

I'm informed that the final witness is being called forward, I don't even need to bother
looking up to know who it is. Potter states his name just like the other two had and he begins
his little speech while I start picking at the calluses on my palm. Being the chosen one has
gained him more respect and attention when speaking but I'm afraid even the great Harry
Potter is powerless here. He's just told them about the forbidden forest and is undergoing a
round of questions from several members of the council. Just as they're wrapping up his time
and are dismissing him I hear the rustling sound of paper.

"If you don't mind, I have a letter that was requested of me to share with you all on behalf of
my friend." Potter announces.

"And who might this friend be?" A male voice questions.

"Hermione Granger."

My eyes shoot up at the mention of her name and my heart rate quickens. The letter. My
hands instantly begin to sweat and I'm now standing straight up instead of lazily leaning back
against the bars like I have been. I watch Potter's hands shake as he fumbles to unfold the
parchment. His chest slowly rises and then falls as he lets out a deep breath. He adjusts his
glasses, clears his throat and begins reading.

"If this letter is being presented to you then that must mean, by some unfortunate
circumstance, I am unable to be there myself. I wanted to start off by requesting that you all
take the time to truly listen to my words. To open your ears and hearts and set aside your bias
towards the accused, even if just for a moment.

Draco Malfoy has done everything that I'm sure you've already listed off. He's hurt people
and seemingly showed no remorse when doing so but there's so much more to him than the
blood that stains his hands.

During our time at Hogwarts I was assigned a research paper in which I worked alongside
Draco. Throughout the period of our collaboration I discovered several things about not only
him but also myself. I was, in kinder terms, rather ticked off to find that there was someone
who possessed more knowledge than I when it came to certain topics.
As the days progressed he slowly began showing me more of the many layers that make up
his being. The first was how loyal he is to those he cares about, though he'll never admit that
he's capable of caring about anyone other than himself. The next was how much he valued
his education. He'd always appear so uninterested during class but I later found that it was
solely because he had not only already learned but mastered the subject. He somehow
managed to make me look lazy when it came to my studies. Can you believe that?

Anyways, the first time I ever truly began to see him as anything other than the antagonist he
so perfectly portrayed himself as was during our fifth year. Neither of us were on speaking
terms with the other but that didn't stop him from dropping everything to come to my rescue.
He went against his own friends to protect me, the girl he had actively been avoiding. That
day I watched as he dropped his guard and allowed me insight into his life. The things that he
told me broke my heart and forced me to reflect on my own tendency to be far too critical of
others before having all of the facts.

Days turned into weeks that then turned into months and later, years and I still found myself
uncovering new sides to him. Draco Malfoy is an extremely private person and would rather
die than allow himself to be vulnerable, to appear weak and I blame not only his father but
our society as a whole for that. The first day he stepped foot into Hogwarts he was casted as
the villain, a child no older than eleven being persecuted for things he hadn't even done. Who
are we to decide that a person is incapable of being good based on the individuals they share
dna with or the house they were sorted into?

I refused to admit it back then and even now as I write this I find it painful to say that Draco
Malfoy is far wiser than I. From a very young age he was forced to grow up, to uphold the
seemingly unattainable standards his family had set for him. While I was running around my
backyard as a child, picking flowers and getting grass stains on my knees, he was being
scarred by his own father. In school when every other student was falling under the stress of
midterms Draco was having to decide between his life or another's.

Just before death eaters invaded Hogwarts myself, Harry and Ron became targets for
Voldemort which lead to a planned attack on my parents. Draco took it upon himself to
ensure their safety. He provided them with aliases and set them up with an entirely new life.
He stood by my side while I obliviated them and made sure that I was alright. He has done
whatever it took to keep me safe, including killing his own aunt without a second of
hesitation. He's saved my friends more times than I'm sure he wanted to but nevertheless he
did.

The man who sits in the opposite room of me as I write this is not the same one I met years
ago. He's opened his heart to not only be loved but also love others. Against everything his
father has instilled in him, he has allowed himself to care, to step into a position that makes
him susceptible to being hurt and I hate to say that I have been one to inflict such pain on
him.

I understand how trials like these go, especially when it's a death eater on the stand. If my
name is ever capable of carrying any weight or importance I urge it to be now. This is not
about determining whether someone is good or evil, this is about a boy who was never given
a choice. You can't crucify him for doing what needed to be done in order to survive – for
choosing life. I'm begging you, do not fail him like his own family has. Show him that he is
worthy of a chance at building a future for himself, to become the man he wants to be.

And now I speak directly to you, Draco. You are not the monster your father created or the
mistakes you have made. You are your own person. You are a wonderful man, you are a
good man and I am eternally grateful and lucky to have you in my life and I'm sorry for not
telling you that more often (As you know, I can be quite stubborn and daft sometimes). You
deserve to be happy, you deserve forgiveness.

- Hermione Jean Granger"

I had prepared myself for this, I knew it was coming but yet I'm still finding it hard to keep
myself upright as I process her words. Why Hermione. Why did you have to write that? Why
did you have to break me all over again? I'm just a man, I can only handle so much. They're
staring at me, closely observing as I struggle to draw in a breath and hold back the tears that
are brimming my eyes. If they're wanting to see me breakdown before them it's not going to
happen, I refuse. I'm not here to entertain them, to gift them with the once in a lifetime show
of a sadistic death eater crumbling at the words of their golden girl.

I'm provided with no time to recover from the emotional slap across the face of that letter
before they begin interrogating me. Most of the questions are what I assume people are asked
in therapy. "How did that make you feel?" "What thoughts did that bring forth?" I offer them
nothing but silence. A note is passed to Shacklebolt, his face drops and I can see the
contemplation and how torn he is within the wrinkles of his forehead as his brows pull
together.

"Mr. Malfoy." There's a strain in the way he says my name, this must be a good one. "Would
you say that Hermione Granger was in love with you?"

You've got to be fucking kidding me. They're really going there with this? I let out a mocking
laugh of disbelief as I say "I'm not even going to entertain that question, Minister."

"So you'd say that Miss Granger had no bias towards you? That her statement was not
swayed in any way?"

"What are you trying to get at?" I clip.

He folds his hands and lets out a slow exhale. "Mr. Malfoy, we are simply trying to evaluate
the statement just as we did with the others."

"No you're not." I argue. "You're trying to invalidate it by suggesting Granger was some doe-
eyed school girl that was too blinded by emotions to see the true nature of who I am. It's
pathetic and insulting to her."

"I apologize if it came across that way but I assure you that wasn't my intention." He tells me.
Yeah, sure it's wasn't you prick. "There are questions we have to ask and since Miss Granger
isn't able to be here to answer them herself we have turned them to you."

"You shouldn't even have any questions."

"And why's that?"

"Because everyone in this damn room knows who she is! You'd have to be a proper fuckwit
not to."

"Would you be so kind to clarify?" He asks. "Just in case there are a few... less
knowledgeable individuals in attendance today."

"Happily." I sneer. "Hermione Granger is undoubtedly the most irritatingly opinionated,

patronizing, overbearing, excruciatingly optimistic and self righteous human being I have
ever met but there's something about her that draws you in, something... golden." My mind
wanders to the thought of her, of the way her eyes sparkled whenever she'd speak on
something she was passionate about. How her nose scrunched whenever she was mad and the
way she'd say my name like both a curse and a promise. Gods I miss hearing her say my
name. I shake my head and blink a few times, returning my attention to the room of people
who are all just staring at me, waiting for me to continue. "Hermione had an exasperating
tendency to constantly see the good in others, whether they were deserving of it or not, it's
just who she was. So to suggest that her statement was corrupted by love is both lazy and
makes you a fool."

Whispers erupt throughout the robed individuals but Shacklebolt's gaze remains trained on
me. There's a glimmer in his eye, a plan brewing.

"What about yourself, Mr. Malfoy?" He questions.

"What about me, Minister?"

"Would you say that you were in love with Miss Granger?" Well fucking played Shacklebolt.
Show the people that I have feelings, that Granger's words rang true.

"I'd be an even bigger fool than you not to be." I admit.

Murmurs. Side eyes. A mix of both sympathetic and hate filled glares are what I undergo for
the next thirty minutes while I stand here in this tiny cage, my body feeling even heavier than
usual. I just want this to be over already. For the past ten days I've been drowning in guilt and
haunted by the memory of her and today, after hearing the letter, I've reached my max. I'm
exhausted. My eyelids are heavy and I'm finally giving into the weight of them when
Shacklebolt's voice cuts through the room.

"After reviewing all of the evidence and taking each testimony into consideration we've
reached a verdict." Lupin, Potter and Weaslette have rejoined us and are sat off to the side.
Potter and Lupin are looking at Shacklebolt, anxiously waiting for him to continue, while
Weaslette watches me and my reaction when my sentencing is announced. "The accused has
been found guilty in the following charges, conspiracy to commit murder, attempted murder,
acts of terrorism and murder in the first degree."

"At least I never used an unforgivable." I interject, casually shrugging. That didn't go over
well, not a single chuckle not even from freckles. These people need to lighten up.
"Draco Lucius Malfoy," Shacklebolt continues. "You are hereby sentenced to sixty years in
Azkaban, five of which will be excused for your partnership with The Order." The gavel is
struck and Lupin immediately shoots up to his feet as he begins shouting for them to
reconsider. Potter is silent but I can tell that he too is angry and as for Weaslette, she just
continues to stare at me.

As the cage begins to lower back into the ground I turn my head to look at her. Raising my
hand, my pointer and middle finger touch the corner of my brow and salute forward.

"Take care, freckles."

 Chapter 78

May 15 1998

Apparating while handcuffed is by far one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever
experienced. Your entire body is being twisted, turned and pulled in different directions, so to
have your damn wrists bound together is not at all pleasant but it's nothing compared to the
immediate feeling of complete despair that struck me the second my feet landed within the
walls of Azkaban. I can hear the waves crashing against the building and a loud crack of
thunder erupts just as the guard shoves me forward.

I'm thrown into a small room, a single bulb dangling from the ceiling and water covers the
floor, at least I hope it's water. I'm instructed to strip and when I make no effort to begin
doing so the stubbier man takes a step forward. "Do you not have a brain? He said strip,
prisoner." He snarls. Casually raising both of my hands I say "How exactly do you expect me
to do so when my hands are quite literally tied? Perhaps it's you who lacks the brain."
Unamused by my snide remark, the loaf of a man lunges forward and slams his fist into the
center of my abdomen, his left hand gripping onto my shoulder as I hunch over.

"It would be wise of you to keep that mouth of yours shut. Wouldn't want to give us reason to
mess up that pretty face of yours, would you?"

"It's very kind of you to say that I have a pretty face but you're really not my type." That
remark earns me a knee to the gut and a fist to the eye.

"Keep it up and next I'll have you bent over-"

"Now you're just doing it on purpose." I interject, spitting the blood from my mouth onto the
ground. "If you fancy me just say so..." My eyes squint as I focus in on the name
embroidered across his chest. ".. Winston." He throws me up against the wall and begins
screaming - swearing that he's not gay, as if it were some sort of crime. "No need to be so
defensive, I have no ill feelings towards the sort." I assure him. "In fact, I believe I have a
cousin who is, though he as a whole has always been a rather touchy subject but not due to
his preference in who he lay with at the end of the day. This is a safe space Winston, by all
means get a hard on due to our close proximity, I won't judge."

The next fifteen minutes or so are spent with him kicking and punching me, even a few slaps
were mixed in. In other words, he took his own internal frustrations regarding his sexuality
out on me. It takes a very frail and insecure man to be so easily affected by the mere
suggestion that you prefer balls over boobs. Once his little tantrum comes to an end he
rejoins the other four guards and instructs me once again to strip. Not in the mood for him to
use me as his own personal punching bag again, I do as I'm told. The whole thing is rather
invasive and redundant, I see no reason for them to stare at me naked.. besides Winston,
cheeky little closeted bastard.

They throw me a striped, almost pajama-like set and as I slip on the new fashionable outfit
they stuff my old clothes and shoes into a bag. I'm most certainly going to contract at least
one disease walking around this filthy dump barefoot. Next up is what appears to be their
favorite part of the intake process, the branding. I watch as one guard removes a metal pole
from the firepit in the corner of the room while I'm placed back in handcuffs and forced down
onto my knees. Winston is handed the tool and approaches me, the stencil at the tip of it
glowing red. My head is yanked to the side to provide him with complete access to my neck.

I can feel the heat emanating from the metal which is only an inch or two away from my skin
when he's told to stop. "What did you not understand about removing all of your clothes,
prisoner?" The slim and scruffy guard scolds. "Last time I checked a watch was considered
jewelry, not clothing you dense lard." I retort. He doesn't offer me a response and instead
begins working at unclasping it, anger instantly filling me. I've been playing nice this entire
time, letting them humiliate and abuse me but this is where I draw the line. If I'm to spend the
next 55 years in here I'm going to do so with that damn watch tightly bound to my wrist, it's
all I have left of her.

Abruptly, I strike the man in the face with my shoulder and shoot up to my feet, slinging my
bound wrists around his neck. His body is pressed back into mine as I dig the handcuffs into
his throat, his arms flailing about as he tries to reach around and grab onto me. With a swift
twist I hear the bones in his neck snap, his body collapsing onto the ground before me. The
other guards stare at their now dead coworker, frozen in shock, but not long after one of them
steps forward. He's the youngest of them all and clearly the most foolish. I took note of every
item within the room the second I was brought in so I need no time to consider my options in
weaponry.

Wedging my foot underneath the broken pipe to the right of me, I kick it up into my hand.
Just as the young guard closes in I swing the pipe around and into his side. As he hunches
over in pain I strike the side of his knee and the base of his neck. With him now on the floor,
I flip the pipe in my hands so that the jagged end is pointed to the ground and drive it into his
chest. A hand grasping onto my shoulder causes me to spin on my heel. I strike the side of
the man's jaw while simultaneously sweeping his legs out from under him. Removing the
badge that's attached to the front of his shirt, I swipe the small claw clip along his throat, his
skin splitting open and blood spurting out.

More guards have flooded the room and each one that approaches me ends up just like the
rest – on the ground in a pool of their own blood. "Petrificus Totalus!" The incantation flies
through the air, my entire body stiffening as the beam of light crashes into my chest. The stun
doesn't last long, I can already feel the effects beginning to lift but then an all too familiar
sensation courses throughout my body. The cruciatus curse. My nails are digging into my
palms as I ball my fists and jaw tightens. I'm a firm believer that curses like this one cause a
different level and feeling of pain depending on the witch or wizard casting it, that their
intention and emotions alter it in a way.

Before, it was always just straight pain. Excruciating, bone breaking, unfiltered pain and
that's precisely what Voldemort wanted. He never had any ulterior motives, he just simply
wanted to hurt you, to break you down, but this one... this one feels different. It's still painful,
gods it's fucking painful, especially without any occlumency but there's more to it. I can feel
the disgust and hatred the individual has for me, it feels like venom is being injected directly
into my veins.
"Draco Malfoy." The man hums as he stares down at me, lowering his wand. "My name is
Richard Quellen. You don't know me but I sure as hell know you." I'm sensing a speech is
about to commence, why do people always feel the need to give some sort of monologue
beforehand? If you want to beat me then just do it, I really don't care to hear your reasons.
"Laura Amorim." He states in a way that suggests the name should mean something to me.
When he's met by nothing but silence and a slightly quirked brow he continues on. "My
newly wedded daughter and son in law had just finished settling into their home. I was there
just the day before, I helped them hang their photos." The last of his words catching in the
back of his throat.

It's like getting hit by a train as the memory of the young couple return to me. It was our last
day of training with Dolohov and Greyback or at least my last day of training. Theo was still
struggling with the morality of it all whereas I had already solidified my occlumency.

The man takes a deep breath before continuing. "You killed her. You buried a knife into the
side of her neck and just left her there, like she was nothing." He spits out. "The state of her
body when we had found her... when I found her, it was–" His eye twitches and his grip
tightens around his wand as he works his jaw. I'm waiting for him to hit me with a crucio
again. I know he wants to, I can feel it, but he doesn't. "She was almost unrecognizable at that
point but her memories were still viable. I witnessed my little girl crying and begging for her
life and you just stood there, unaffected and looking almost bored, like the entire thing was
far too tedious and unworthy of your time." Anger now laces his every word and for once I
feel shame. Not for what I had done to the girl but for what I had done to him.

I now understand the agony that accompanies losing someone you love but it doesn't matter. I
could apologize but it wouldn't do anything, nothing can change the facts, nothing could
bring her back. I'm too distracted by this newfound emotion that I didn't even notice Winston
walking up to me. The searing pain caused by the metal rod pressing into my neck pulls me
from my thoughts and then a sharp pinch in my arm causes my mind to instantly go hazy. My
eyes flit down and spot the syringe just as it's being removed from my skin. What the fuck
did they just give me? Everything feels heavier... slower.

The man crouches down, lowering his head so that his mouth is level with my ear and
whispers "You made my life a living hell, Mr. Malfoy. It seems only fair I return the favor."
As he stands and steps away, a pair of hands grasp the front of my shirt and drag me up to my
feet. I couldn't tell you how long the walk to my cell was, it felt like both an eternity and no
time at all had passed as I dozed in and out of consciousness. I'm thrown into my cell, the
gate is pulled shut and locked. I crawl over to the thin mattress that's pushed against the side
wall and roll myself onto it, my eyes closing as I finally give into the exhaustion.

-*-

"Draco..."

"Draco wake up."

"It's time to wake up."

My eyes flutter open, my hand raising to block the beam of light shining through the window.

"There you are." Turning my head, I see her. Her curls framing her face as she looks down at
me and smiles. Her fingers push the hair from my forehead and she says "I always liked when
you wore your hair like this." The sun catches her eye and I see them, the gold flakes. My
hand cautiously reaches for her, my body relaxing as she leans her cheek into my palm.

She's here.

"Hermione." My voice is almost unrecognizable in this moment. I'm feeling so much right
now but most of all, I feel peace. "I thought I lost you."

"You could never lose me." She assures me. Removing my hand from her face, she turns my
arm – my dark mark now on display. Leaning down, she places a gentle kiss within the center
of it. "The things you have done do not have to define you, Draco. It's never too late to
choose a new path, to make a better life for yourself."

There's so many things I want to say to her right now but all I manage to choke out is "I
missed you." I'm crying. I'm fucking crying and I don't even care. I want her to see – to feel
how much losing her hurt me. Her thumb glides across my cheek, wiping away the tears as
they continue to fall.

"I have to go."

No.

As she gets up from the bed I grab her wrist to stop her from moving any further away. "Don't
go." I say. "I love you Hermione. Don't go. Don't leave me again, please."

She offers me a soft small. "I love you too, Draco. I'll see you again, this isn't the end.
Remember, you always come back for me." I feel her arm slip from my grasp but she hasn't
moved. Suddenly, everything around me begins to fade, including her.

no. no. no.

I'm not ready. I'm not ready to say goodbye. I'm not ready to lose her all over again. I want
more time. I need more time. Please just give me one more minute. One more chance to feel
her touch, to hear her voice. Just give me one more second of her.

My eyes snap open and I shoot up. My breathing is heavy as my head whips around and I
scan the room for her but nothing. All I'm met by are four walls and I feel everything in me
break all over again. Lifting my left arm, my right hand clutches tightly onto the watch as I
hold it against my chest. Laying back down, I close my eyes and imagine that the faint
ticking sound is her heart beating against mine.
June 5 1998

I keep dreaming of her. I think it's the only thing that's helping me hold onto my sanity. The
only source of light is whatever the sun and moon provide through the small sliver of a
window within my cell. I've come to learn the routine of everything. As soon as the sun
breaks a metal tray is slid under my door, a single piece of bread and an unidentifiable pile of
slop make up most meals.

When the sun sets the screaming begins. Not my screams but the other prisoners. I've always
heard that people go mad when in Azkaban but the only individuals I knew who had been
were my aunt Bella and my father, I think it's safe to say neither of them have ever been right
in the head. But now I know that the rumors are true and I understand why. The dementors
stalking the perimeter cast a constant feeling of dread and anguish. I'd be lying if I said that it
wasn't affecting me at all but I've experienced worse. After dinner, if you were lucky enough
to receive any, mail is delivered. From what I've observed it's a very rare occasion that
anyone does.

I never held out any hope to receive any. For all I know my friends are blissfully unaware of
my situation and are moving on with their lives in France. As for the bleeding-heart lot, I just
pray I never hear from any of them. It's bad enough I'm in here I don't need to add nausea on
top of it at all from reading their pity filled words. I'm extremely busy with counting the
number of cracks on the ceiling when a single envelope is slid through the bars and dropped
on the floor. Reaching over, I pick it up and see the exact name I didn't want to.

Potter.

There's not a single bone in my body that cares to hear from him and the moon is now
hanging in the night sky which means any minute now a group of guards will come visit my
cell. Their nightly routine consists of taking turns beating me, whether it be kicking and
punching or using random objects they picked up along the way but they never use their
wands. If I had to take a guess I'd say these practices of theirs aren't ministry approved. Much
like the Reformation, no wands.. no trace. Even when I'm in Azkaban Potter still manages to
find the most inconvenient times to try and talk to me.

Whatever, I'll read it. It sure as hell beats counting cracks in the ceiling like an insane person.
Ripping open the envelope, I pull out the piece of parchment, unfold it and begin reading.

Malfoy,

I've written this letter several times but each time I've discarded it as I struggle to find the
proper way to go about telling you this. As I'm composing this one Ginny is breathing down
my neck and will surely force me to send this one out so if it's shit just know, I had no choice
in the matter.

About a week or so after your trial something happened and firstly I wanted to let you know
that I had absolutely no idea. If I had I would've told you the moment I found out which I
guess that's exactly what I'm doing now, or at least trying to. I don't know how to go about
this. I've been having such a hard time figuring out how to tell you this, especially
considering your circumstance.
Fucks sake Potter get to the damn point already.

Ginny is yelling at me to just get to the point already.

Like I've said, besides Granger, freckles is next on the list of most competent.

Your mother came to us and...

The abrupt sound of my cell door being pulled open causes my eyes to jump from the letter
and up at the three guards who stand in the entryway.

"Evening gentlemen." I chime, sliding the letter underneath my mattress. "I've missed you all
so very much, I do hope the feeling is mutual."

"Do you know what day it is?" Quellen asks.

"Hmm." I take my chin between my finger and thumb as I pretend to ponder the question.
"One that ends with the letter y?"

"It's your birthday."

"Last time I checked the word 'birthday' ended in a y which means I was correct. Unless
they've changed the spelling of it within the last 20 days I've been here."

"We have a present for you." He tells me, ignoring my snarky remark.

"Quellen, you shouldn't have. All I have to offer in return is an analysis as to why your entire
existence was a complete waste of your father's magical seed."

I'm dragged to my feet and out of my cell which is not usually part of the routine. Perhaps a
nice stroll in the moonlight is my birthday gift. Some would say it's a bit cynical of me to be
happy about spending my birthday here. It's not that I've always had some weird dream of
turning 18 within the cold and grimy walls of Azkaban but since I'm here and my father isn't,
it means that for the first time in over a decade I won't have to undergo his yearly evaluation.

Since my sixth birthday my father would sit me down and go over a list of things about me
that he disapproves of which seemed to only become more extensive as I got older. For each
unbefitting quality I possessed I was gifted some sort of punishment, most involving him
inflicting some sort of pain. But not this year. This year he doesn't get the satisfaction of
telling me how embarrassing it is for him to have me as a son, of screaming at my mother and
blaming her for the way I turned out. If anything, I'd say my current circumstances would
almost make him proud. He'd rather have his son rot in prison because at least that means I
did something worthy of such measures.

My theory about the stroll in the moonlight seems to be correct considering we've just
reached the fifth floor and a door to outside is just at the end of the hall we're currently
making our way down. All of the guards still have a rather malign expression on their face
which isn't far off from usual but there is something different. The entire walk I've heard
muffled snickers from the two behind me and Quellen looks far too excited as we approach
the end of the hall. He should really get his teeth fixed if he plans on smiling so often. If
Granger's parents were still here I'd refer him to them.

"Do you feel that?" Quellen asks me.

"If by that you mean Padley's hand grazing my arse, yes." I state, turning my head slightly
and glancing back at him. "That one was free but next time you want a squeeze I want an
extra two minutes of shower time."

Quellen shakes his head. "Not that. Notice anything different? Any changes in temperature?
What about the air surrounding you? Does it feel thicker? Harder to breathe?"

I don't know if his questioning is causing some sort of placebo effect to take place but as I
draw in my next breath I do find myself struggling and my chest feels heavier. As for
temperature, I'm used to being cold but I have taken note of the goosebumps that now cover
both of my arms. It's not until I notice the same harrowing feeling that I realize what, or more
so who, Quellen was referring to in his original question. Dementors. You can feel them no
matter where you are within the building but when they get closer everything intensifies. The
fear, the anxiety, the misery and right now I'm feeling it more than ever.

As soon as the door opens I'm hit by a strong gust of wind. There must be some sort of
silencing ward on this place because there's no other explanation as to why I've never heard
the waves violently crashing. It's so loud I can't hear a word Quellen is saying to me and his
lips are practically pressed against my ear. He must've been commanding me to step outside
because before I know it I'm being shoved forward and out onto the platform. The back of my
knee is kicked in and I fall to the ground. Whatever light the moon was providing before is
nowhere to be seen as a dark shadow is now casted over me. I don't need to look up to know
what's in front of me.

"Come on Malfoy, don't be rude." Quellen says as he yanks my head back by the ends of my
hair. "Say hi to your first and final visitor."

I'm now face to face with a dementor. I'd say eye to eye but there's only a seemingly endless
pit of darkness in place of where those should be. I don't know what its doing but from my
perspective I'd say I'm being examined, its trying to locate my weak spots - both mentally and
physically. Its head cocks slightly before it glides forward and then I feel it - the pull. We
briefly discussed dementors at Hogwarts but nothing we learned came even close to
describing the true feeling of having every drop of happiness extracted and of then having
that then replaced with an all consuming feeling of both despair and emptiness. Something no
textbook or lecture ever covered was the fact that while the dementors drain you of
everything that makes up your being they also sift through your memories.

It's not legilimency but it's extremely similar. There's no stopping and pausing, they know
what they're looking for and how to find it and once they do it's brought forward and you're
forced to watch - to relive it over and over and over. Your worst memory, the one that you
tried so hard to block out.

"Kill her, my lord." My father suggests. "Killing Draco would be far too easy of an out for
him after all he's done. If you really want to hurt him, to make him suffer, kill his pretty little
mudblood."

Just like I was then, I'm frozen. Unable to move, to scream, to do anything.

My father approaches me, grabs me by the back of my neck and holds me up. "I want you to
remember something son." He whispers in my ear. "This is your fault."

This isn't real. I'm not really here. This is all just a game, a manipulation. It's not real. It's not
real. It's not real.

As Voldemort raises the knife her eyes meet mine and a single tear falls and she mouths "I
love you" just as he buries the knife in her stomach.

My heart is cut open again and I'm bleeding out. My ears are ringing, my head is pounding
and my skin is on fire.

I did nothing, again. I failed her, again. I lost her, again.

I want to die. I want to fucking die. I can't take this. I can't do this again. Let me be with her,
let me be with Hermione. Make this all end. Even if I'm not with her in the afterlife at least I
wouldn't be alive without her. This isn't what I want. I don't want to be here.

It's close, I know it is. I don't feel weak or like I'm dying, it just feels like I'm fading - it's
tranquil, like falling asleep. My eyes close and roll back and I'm just about to draw my last
breath when I'm yanked by the back of my shirt, my back slamming onto the cold and wet
floor. I'm inside.

"You didn't think we'd really let you off that easy, did you?" Quellen lets out a mocking laugh
as he slams the door shut. "The ministry may have sentenced you to Azkaban for your crimes
but that's not your true sentencing. Every news stand was plastered with articles on your trial
and the main topic of discussion amongst them all was your little love confession for none
other than Hermione Granger."

I want to wring his neck for speaking her name but I have no energy left. I was pulled away
just as I was about to cross over. I was right there. I was so close.

"Near death encounters with dementors have been recorded to leave the survivor with a form
of PTSD, the kind that has such a strong hold that it usually drives the individual completely
mad. That is your sentencing, Draco Malfoy. Living. Living and being haunted by your own
memories and it gives me immense pleasure knowing I'll get a front row seat to it all. Happy
birthday." He grins as he raises his fist and strikes my temple, knocking me out.
 Chapter 79
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

June 7 1998

I was moved cells. I don't know when and I haven't a clue how long I've been out but when I
did finally wake I still found myself in a small enclosure but this one is different. It's darker -
something I didn't realize was possible to achieve. It's colder, smaller and most of all it's
quieter. The only thing I can hear is the sound of my own breathing and it's driving me crazy.

June 18 1998

I keep hearing them, the voices. They aren't real though, not anymore but that doesn't stop the
pain it causes me each time.

"If you really want to hurt him, to make him suffer, kill his pretty little mudblood."

I even started hearing her say that she loves me just before Voldemort drives my knife into
her. It's reminding me of her screams after the manor, how my mind would take over and
make each one more gut-wrenching than the last. I used to love the sound of her voice but
now I shudder the moment I hear it. I used to dream of her eyes, of her smile and now all I
want is to rid myself of the memory of it - of her.

July 21 1998

Denial

"None of this is real." I repeat over and over and over as I tightly press my hands over my
ears, rocking back and forth until exhaustion eventually catches up with me and I fall asleep.
I don't like sleeping. Every time I close my eyes I see it all replay before me and it feels so
real, like I'm actually there. I can feel everything. Voldemort's hand tightening around my
neck, the feeling of all the air within my lungs being knocked out of me. The stupefy. My
body going stiff and crashing onto the ground. My father gripping the back of my neck,
lifting me and forcing me to watch as she dies.

This is all just some sick and twisted nightmare. The battle at Hogwarts never happened.
Potter never deviated from our plan and Granger never died. She couldn't have. I never
appeared before the wizengamot and I was never brought to Azkaban.
No.

Granger and I are laying in bed right now. She's wrapped in my arms, her face is nuzzled in
my chest and her curls are tickling my chin. I'm going to wake up soon. I'm going to wake up
and she'll be right there. She'll look up at me with those big beautiful brown eyes and the gold
flakes will sparkle underneath the sunlight. She'll ask me how I slept and then we'll go
downstairs and join the others.

Potter will say something stupid and Weasley will give me another reason to justify killing
him. Lupin will order me around while simultaneously trying to step into the fatherly role
that he seems to think I so desperately need. Tonks will eye him up and down and I'll make
some snide remark about the color of her hair.

Everything will be fine. This will all be fine. She will be fine.

"None of this is real."

September 12 1998

Guilt

I should've locked her in our fucking room. I should've tied her to the damn bedposts and left
her there. I should have never let her come with us. What was I thinking? I knew it was
dangerous, I knew the possible outcomes and I still didn't do anything. I should've escorted
her to Lupin and I should've been there for her when she saw that Fred had died. I should've
consoled her and calmed her down before leaving. I should've.. I should've-

The bile is rapidly raising in the back of my throat and I lunge for the toilet in the corner of
my cell. There's nothing left in me to throw up at this point, it's just stomach acid and it's
burning and tearing my throat apart. Collapsing onto the ground, my body begins to shake.

Every bone is aching. My own touch burns. My eyes are throbbing and I'm too weak to even
hold my head up for more than 30 seconds at a time. The physical pain is no match for the
mental. It feels like my brain is on fire and I still can't rid myself of the images.

This is my fault. All of this is my fault.

I've never had a heart attack before but I imagine this is what it feels like, only difference is
there's seemingly no tipping point for me. I continue to breathe, I continue to live and my
chest continues to constantly feel tight and a sharp pain radiates throughout my entire body.

Every time I think of her I either throw up or cry, sometimes even both at the same time. At
first I would also scream but my vocal chords are shot and even swallowing my own spit
burns due to the state of my esophagus after the repetitive puking.
Why am I the one that survived? Why is Tonks dead and not me? Why is Fred dead and not
me? Why is anyone dead and not me? I shouldn't be here. This isn't how it was supposed to
go. It was supposed to be me. She was supposed to be grieving me. She would've been better
at it, she's stronger than I. She would've had people to help her, she would've gotten through
it. She would've found someone better and moved on, she would've forgotten all about me.

Why is Hermione dead and I'm alive?

September 19 1998

"Happy birthday, love."

November 3 1998

Anger

My fist meets the stone wall again as I continue to yell.

"If she would've just listened to me for once! If she would've just stayed where I fucking put
her!"

My left hand punches the wall.

"None of this would have happened if she would've just listened to me!"

My right hand slams into the stone.

There's no longer any skin on my knuckles and bone is beginning to protrude but I don't stop.
I keep punching and screaming and kicking and shouting and why couldn't she have just
stayed with Lupin?! Why couldn't she have gone and been with Ginny? Hell! Why didn't she
go and have fucking Weaslebee console her?! Why did she need to run out of the damn
school and come looking for me? Why did she need to be so fucking stupid?!

"Stupid. Selfish. Fucking. Witch." Each word emphasized by a punch and the stones that
make up the left wall of my cell are now completely painted with blood. I've been at it for
hours now, maybe even days, but it's not enough. I'm so angry and nothing I do seems to
alleviate it.

"Fuck!" I scream, slamming both of my fists into the wall.

February 17 1999

Bargaining

If only I had just stayed away, if I had just left her be. I had so many chances to let her go but
I just had to be selfish and I couldn't. But what if I had? What if I had refused to speak to her
when I returned to Hogwarts? What if I had just left her drunk outside of the Slytherin
common room that night? What if I had let her believe that I had moved on with Astoria
instead of chasing her out? What if I had never kissed her again? Gods I was so stupid. I
knew what was happening and Voldemort's plans and my part in it all and I still fucking
involved her.

What if I had never accepted McGonagall's invitation to the dinner? What if I had told the
hag to piss off and let another student take my place? If I had only continued to let Granger
remain just a sexual fantasy, if I had kept my distance. If I had just remained the pompous
antagonist in her and her friend's lives, maybe she'd still be alive.

April 30 1999

Depression

I have no concept of time. I have my watch, sure, but seeing as I have nothing else to do with
my life I spent an entire week staring at it and found that it's behind by 80 seconds. I don't
know how or why but I do know how to count to 60 and this thing took nearly twice as long
to do the same so needless to say, the one thing I have that's supposed to tell me the time is
failing to do so accurately.

I don't know if it's day or night as there are no windows within view. The only thing giving
me slight context as to the time of day are when my meals are delivered and as for the date,
I've marked the wall each day with a small rock that I found. If I had to guess I'd say it's
either mid or nearing the end of April which means I'm coming up on one year since the
battle, since she died.

Almost a year ago today a large piece of me died with her. I meant what I said to my mother
that day at the manor after I killed my aunt Bella. I am nothing without her. Before her I was
no more than an overly privileged child who was incapable and afraid of ever allowing
himself to care for anyone besides himself. While being with her I was still that but I had a
reason to not be anymore, I had a purpose.

I wanted to be a better man for her. I wanted to be a man deserving of her. I wanted to keep
her safe and not just safe from physical harm but mental and emotional too. I wanted to
protect her from the world, to shield her from the darkness that constantly plagued it. At the
time I thought keeping her locked away in her own little box was the right thing to do but
now I don't know if that's true. Maybe if I had told her sooner, if I had just eased her into the
reality of our world, then she would've had more time to comprehend and prepare herself.
Maybe then she would've known better than go looking for me that night.

It all still hurts. It's painful to think of her and the memories still haunt me but I've reached a
point where I'm just tired. I don't have it in me to be angry and scream anymore or to feel
guilty and spend hours trying to understand why it is that I'm still alive when so many others
who deserve to be aren't. I have no appetite, my brain is so full of fog I have a hard time
thinking straight. When Quellen or Padley or any of the guards come to try and set me off I
have no response for them. No snark, nothing, not even just in my head.

Out of all of the months that I've been locked in this area the past few weeks have felt the
most isolating. Around the third day of being in my new cell I came to found that I was in
fact all alone down here. At first I was relieved to know that I no longer had to listen to the
pathetic screams of the other prisoners but quickly I found myself wanting nothing more.
Being left alone with only my thoughts, or lack thereof, seems to have done the one thing
many people have tried countless times to do but failed - break me.

And I don't mean just making the defensive wall I constantly have up fall or causing me
physical pain, I mean truly and utterly break me. Everything that made me who I was is
nowhere to be seen now. I'm merely just a ghost of the man I once was and some might say
that's good considering the things I've done or the unhealthy ways I opted to handle situations
but I find it terrifying. I've only ever been able to depend on myself and myself only and now
that I've managed to even lose that I-

I'm just not sure where to go from here and quite frankly, I don't see a point in trying to figure
it out.

June 5 1999

Acceptance

Another year and another birthday, at least this one hasn't consisted of a tea party with a
dementor. It has made me think though. When I do manage to get out of here in 54 years I
don't want to be like my father or my aunt Bella. I don't want to be some vile human being
who puts his own ego above everything else and I surely don't want to be mentally insane
like Bella was. But in order to ensure that I become neither of those things I need to get a
fucking grip.

I've been talking to myself which doesn't help my case in trying to avoid sounding like a
crazy person but it's helped. For 90% of the day I'm down here by myself which means
there's no worrying about if someone else hears me and I think that's helped me feel
comfortable talking and working through things that I otherwise would have never admitted
out loud.
I started off reflecting on my childhood and the combination of coming from a wealthy pure-
blood family and also having a father whose favorite pastime was breaking down every
ounce of his son's self worth and also his bones or cutting him open. I'm not a psychologist
but I'd say it makes perfect sense why I turned out the way that I did and I don't mean death
eater wise I just mean being a seemingly emotionless and remorseless dick. But I already
knew that, I didn't need to actually talk that one through but it was a good way to get started.

Next I moved onto my mother and the lack of balls she seems to have. I think she's the reason
I so easily lose respect for those who tiptoe around conversations and can't stand up for
themselves. I love my mother and I'll always take care of her but that doesn't mean a part of
me hasn't always resented her in a way. She never abused me or treated me the way my father
did but she still contributed into me becoming as fucked up as I am by standing idly by and
not doing a damn thing. If I ever get the chance to have kids I will never let them feel this
way.

After that I briefly went over my friends and how they're all idiotic but I already admitted to
their faces that I love them so there's really no returning from that one. I even spent some
time talking about school which made no sense to me but it was a nice change of pace to talk
about something I didn't fail. Academics was something my father held me to a high standard
but around fourth year is when I took it upon myself to strive even higher. Around that time I
had dreamt about making a future for myself and I didn't want to do so by relying solely on
my last name. I wanted to earn it on my own and detach myself from my father in a way. This
topic then sent me on a tangent for the following two days but I'm not even going to revisit
that.

Eventually I reached the subject I had been dreading, Hermione.

It was a painful experience but also cathartic in a way. I've never missed her more than I do
right now and I don't think there will ever be a time where the thought or mention of her
won't hurt me but I know her and she wouldn't want me to torture myself anymore than I
already have. I can quite literally hear her voice saying that to me. So I'm going to. I'm going
to try and pull myself out of this, to find a way to exist in a world where she no longer is
without it completely destroying me. I'm going to do it for her and I'll be damned if I fail her
again.

2 Years Later

May 23 2001

"Honestly Hillman, stop being such a spineless wimp and tell the lady that you want to shag
her." I scoff which earns an irritated sigh from the young guard.

"It's not that simple." He argues.

"It is. You're just making excuses. From what you've told me the lady clearly likes you, for
whatever reason, and has been practically begging you to ask her out."
Around 6 months ago Hillman was assigned babysitting duties. The exact title they assigned
him was in fact babysitter. Usually I'd take offense to that but seeing as I'm trying out this
whole changed man thing I let it slide. Besides, it's been nice to have someone to talk to
about normal every day things and the bloke isn't completely insufferable. He's also proven to
be a rather useful person to have in your corner. He's managed to swap my bread and mystery
slop for some almost appetizing food and has even managed to sneak me a few books to read.
If I'm going to sit in prison I'm not going to let my intellect fade away with the rest of my
life.

"All I'm saying is your face doesn't look like it's been hit with a bludger." I tell him.

"Gee thanks, I really appreciate that."

"What I meant was you're not ugly so I don't see why you act like this girl would be repulsed
by the idea of being with you. Unless you have some deformity that I'm unaware of? Do you
have an extra toe or something?"

"I hate to break up this little love fest of yours." Another voice interjects, the door slamming
shut as Quellen steps forward, a piece of parchment in his hand. "I just received word that
pretty boy here is to be released today."

"What?" Both Hillman and I simultaneously say.

"You're to be released into the custody of the auror department. Everything will be explained
by your handler." He tells me, annoyance lacing his words. "Hillman, prepare the prisoner.
He's to be at the ministry in an hour, you'll be escorting him there."

Once the sound of the door shutting again informs us that Quellen has left we both shoot up
to our feet.

"Holy shit you're getting out." Hillman continues going off about how excited he is for me
and is providing his own theories as to what has caused such an early release like this but I'm
not paying attention. All I can think about is the fact that in one hour I'll no longer be sitting
in this dark and damp cell, that I'll be in my own clothes and actually be wearing a pair of
damn shoes.

The next hour is hectic to say the least. I'm rushed to the same room I was brought to my first
day here and I'm again instructed to strip but I don't give a fuck. I'll lick the bottom of
Winston's big toe if needed, whatever it takes to just get me the hell out of here. I'm handed a
bag that contains the clothes I had arrived in and I've never dressed myself quicker. The shirt
is a bit tight on me but I expected that. To go along with my self discussions I also began
working out, at least as much as I could with the space I was provided. Along with not
leaving here a complete imbecile I also didn't want to be some scrawny looking prat. Hillman
fills out some paper work and then before I know it he's gripping onto my arm and apparating
us to the ministry.

It's strange being here, it looks the same but also completely different. Granted the last time I
was here they were still working on rebuilding it after Voldemort died. I always thought the
interior choices for the ministry were rather gloomy for it being the center of what most
consider "the heart" of the wizarding world and apparently so did someone else because now
there's actual color and life in this place. They should give a large raise to whoever suggested
that.

Hillman and I are making our way up to the third floor where the auror department is located
and the entire way I was the recipient of countless less than kind glares but I couldn't care
less. I don't know what the conditions of me being here are but what I do know is that I'm not
here seeking redemption or forgiveness from anyone. I may be working on being less of a
dick and becoming a more level headed man but there will never be a day where I waste my
energy on trying to prove that I've changed to any of these people. I owe them nothing.

Reaching the auror department is an odd sensation. For a brief moment when I was younger I
entertained the idea of one day being an auror myself. There was something intriguing about
the idea of having ministry approved authority to use whatever force needed to detain
individuals. That dream quickly dissipated when my father came home one day and went off
about how only incompetent fools work in that department. The things I'd give to see his face
right now. His son finally did something right by being sent to Azkaban to only then be
released into the custody of those incompetent fools he so greatly despises.

Stepping inside, I'm instantly met by chaos. People are running around like they have their
heads cut off and several different orders are being shouted across the room. Seems like
someone is in desperate need of more employees or just smarter ones.

"Hey, you." Hillman calls out, stopping a random man as he passes by. "I'm looking for-"

"Malfoy."

For once I'm glad to hear the annoying little shit's voice. Turning around, the corner of my
mouth tugs up into a smirk as I say "Potter, what a displeasure it is to see you."

"You're early." He says. I have to admit, his reaction to seeing me is very anticlimactic and he
also looks like he's about to both hurl and wet his pants.

I lift my left arm and check the time. His eyes grow wide as they latch onto the watch and
now he most certainly looks like he's about to throw up. What's his problem?

"Only by five minutes or so." I tell him, ignoring the utterly moronic look on his face.
"Honestly Potter, I thought you'd be a bit more excited to see me, seeing as the last time I saw
you it looked like you were about to cry over the fact that I was being sent away."

He shakes his head and blinks a few times, snapping him out of whatever weird trance he was
just in. "Malfoy, did you ever receive my letter?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And what?"

"You don't have anything to say about it?" He asks.

"Now that you mention it, I do. How is it that you manage to be insufferable even in a
letter?"

"That's it?"

"Yes, those are the only notes I have for you."

His eyebrows pull together. "That's not the reaction I was expecting. I thought you'd be- I just
didn't think you'd be handling it so... calmly?"

"Three years in prison gives you an awful lot of time to reflect and grow as a person." I tell
him. "I also never did make it to the part where you got to the bloody point, so I guess that's
another note for you."

"You didn't read the whole thing?!"

"I was a bit busy having my soul nearly sucked from my body by a dementor so you'll have
to forgive me for not finishing your little love letter Potter."

"Malfoy there's something that you need to kno-"

"Hillman. I think your duties here are done. Potter will take perfect care of me, you can trust
him. He is, after all, the oh so mighty chosen one."

As he hands Potter all of the necessary paperwork I take it upon myself to explore the place.
It doesn't take long for me to locate Potter's desk, it's the only one with both a Gryffindor
mug on it and a photo of Dumbledore. Note to self, interrogate him on if he was in love with
the old man or not. I've just sat down in his chair and began riffling through his drawers when
he approaches.

"Malfoy we really need to-"

"No fucking way." I say in disbelief as I grab the picture frame and hold it up. "You and
freckles huh? Finally grew a pair and asked her out? I feel like a proud parent right now." I'm
pretending to wipe away a tear from my eye when he snaps at me, the entire office silencing
for a moment as they stare at us. It must be a very rare occasion that scarhead has little
outbursts like this because they're all looking at him like he has three heads.

"You need to listen to me!"

"Fucks sake Potter, alright." Holding my hand up in surrender. Setting the picture frame
down, I lean back into the chair and motion for him to continue.

He lets out a deep breath. "About a week or so after your trial something happened. We still
don't have all of the details.."

His words begin to muffle and eventually I block out his voice entirely as my attention turns
to the left corner of the room. I could've sworn I just saw- and there they are again. A wild set
of curls bunched into a ball with a wand poking through. No. It couldn't be. It's impossible.
My mind is just playing tricks on me. She's not the only person with curly hair and surely
 loads of witches use their wand to hold it in place. I shake my head and tune back into
whatever it is Potter is going on about.

"You should know that we're working tirelessly to figure out a way to restore..."

My attention is pulled away again when I hear a laugh. It sounded an awful lot like- and then
I see them. Those big brown eyes and the gold flakes catching under the luminescent lights.
Anxiety, confusion and disbelief flood my body as I shoot up to my feet and push past Potter.
It can't be. This isn't happening. I must be seeing things. He's calling out for me from behind
but I ignore him and head straight for her.

She's not real. She's just a figment of my imagination. This isn't real.

And then I hear it. Her voice. My stomach drops and my pace quickens. It feels like I'm
moving in slow motion as I close in on her. There it is again, her voice. The voice that
haunted me and that I've tightly held onto for the past three years. It's no longer just a
memory inside my head, it's live and echoing throughout the room and it's real. She's fucking
real. She's now only an arms length away and my hand is reaching out to grab her before I
even have time to fully process what's happening but the second I feel it, the second I feel
her..

"Granger."

Chapter End Notes

Hillman one shot - https://archiveofourown.org/works/42893379

 Chapter 80
Chapter Summary

Welcome to Part Three

"Malfoy!" Potter shouts but she's already facing me, her eyes are already looking into mine
and I'm already clutching tightly onto her.

"Granger how are y-"

Her wand is at my neck and everyone around us is frozen, their eyes are wide and there's
silence. So much silence. Her stare is piercing and like a warning, one stating that if I even
dare move a muscle she'll hex me into oblivion. I don't understand. I'm so confused right
now. Why did no one tell me that she was alive? How is she alive? Why is everyone staring
at us like we're a bomb that's about to go off? And why is she looking at me like she doesn't
even–

"It would be wise of you to release my arm." She clips.

"Granger I-"

"I know all about you, Draco Malfoy." The way she says my name... it's like it makes her
nauseas to even do so. "You may not be in Azkaban anymore but that does not mean you get
to roam about like you're a free man. Let me remind you that you're here on a lengthy list of
conditions. Violate a single one and you'll be sent right back to whatever cold and dark cell
you just came from." My hand falls from her arm and she looks over my shoulder at Potter.
"Keep him in line, you are his handler after all."

She's already walked away and most likely on the complete opposite end of the office but I'm
still standing here and staring out in front of me where she had previously stood.

"I was trying to tell you..."

Turning on my heels, I take a quick step into him, my eyes darkening and jaw clenched.
"What the actual fuck is going on Potter?!" He grabs my arm and drags me into a nearby
office. Locking the door, he lets out an exaggerated sigh and removes his glasses, cleaning
them with the bottom of his shirt.

"By all means, take your fucking time." I scoff.

"The letter I had sent you." He begins. "It was all in there."
"As you know, I didn't get a chance to read it, so if you don't mind reiterating what you had
wrote that would be just splendid."

"We should really wait for Remus to-"

"No!" I shout, throwing a chair against the wall. "I'm done waiting! For the past three years I
thought she was dead! Fucking dead Potter! And now I come to find she's been perfectly fine
this entire time and you expect me to just sit around and wait for the human flea bag to
arrive?" I'm on the verge of tears but I refuse to let them come forward, to let him or anyone
else in this damn office see me break like that, even though I want to. I want to so fucking
badly. She was there, she was right in front of me. I was touching her and she was real and
she said my name and– "Please." My voice quieter – weaker. "I thought I lost her forever.
Please, Potter, just tell me what's going on."

He motions for me to take a seat and when I remain standing, my arms crossed, he begins
explaining everything to me and by everything I mean a whole lot of "we don't really know"
and "we're working on it".

"You were early." He says. "You weren't supposed to see her yet, we wanted to talk to you
first."

I'm even more confused than before. About a week after my trial she just happened to show
up at the manor? My mother just happened to go downstairs and see her sitting by the
fireplace? She just happened to call up Potter and let him know? And she just happened to be
completely fine? Not a single scratch on her body or hair out of place? She was, all in all,
completely okay and herself.. except for the fact that she doesn't seem to remember me... at
all. I don't fucking buy it. It doesn't add up, it doesn't make any sense. I saw it, I saw
Voldemort stab her, her pulse was gone. She was dead. She was gone. I grieved her, gods did
I grieve her. I cried and screamed and begged and then I accepted and for what? For her to
now look at me and only see the man whose file she was handed when they announced I'd be
released into their custody? No.

"You're lying."

"Malfoy..."

"No Potter! What you're telling me is such a load of shit and I'm insulted that you'd think I'd
just sit back and accept this. There's no way that she's forgotten everything that we've been
through, everything that we had – how much we love each other! You're wrong, Lupin is
wrong, everyone is wrong and I'll prove it." Crossing the room, I reach for the door but he
steps in front of me.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asks.

"What does it look like? I'm leaving this room. I'm going to go talk to her, she'll remember
me, I know she will." My hand reaches for the handle again but he stops me, again.

"Why would I lie to you about this?"

"I don't know!" I say, throwing my hands up out of frustration. "To screw with my head. To
get back at me for the way I treated you in school. Because you're a sick bastard. Because..
because–" Potter rests his hand on my shoulder and I can see it in the way he's looking at me,
in the way his grip is firm but also gentle – he isn't lying. This is all real, this all actually
happening. She's alive, she's been alive and she doesn't remember me... she doesn't remember
us. I want to break down, I want to scream and cry and curse the world for bringing her back
into my life only to take her away from me again and in the most cruel of ways. It hurts. It
hurts more than when she died and I'm so close to letting it all out but I don't – I can't. Not
here, not right now, not with him. "What am I even doing here Potter?" I ask, taking a step
back and falling into the chair.

"Can you at least wait until Remus gets here for that one? I've already messed up one thing,
I'd really rather not add onto the list."

"Alright." I sigh, my head falling back as I close my eyes and continue to try and wrap my
head around all of this.

-*-

It takes around an hour for Lupin to finally join us. When he enters the room he takes a brief
moment to analyze both Potter and I's expressions. Neither of us need to say anything for him
to understand what has happened. Both his shoulders and face drop. "You saw her." He says.

I say nothing.

"It wasn't supposed to go that way." He tells me as he picks up the chair I had thrown earlier,
placing it down in front of me and taking a seat. "We had a plan."

"I don't see how any sort of plan would've made that any less painful, Lupin." I retort. "What
did you expect? To sit me down and calmly explain everything and for me to just be like
'Okay, yeah, sure, totally get it, how fun!'" I say with mock joy as I wave my hands.

"Of course not Draco. I just thought that maybe after you received Harry's letter you-"

"I never read it." "He never read it." Potter and I simultaneously tell him.

"Oh– I see.."

"Yeah. Hell of a first day."

"Did you fill him in on the rest?" Lupin asks Potter, he shakes his head. "Right." He nods,
turning his attention back to me. "We had been working on getting you out since the day you
were taken to Azkaban but we couldn't get anything approved without good reason. You did
kill an awful lot of people."

"So I've been told for the past three years."

He's giving me that pity filled look again and I still can't stand it. No amount of self reflection
and other growth bullshit will ever make me feel comfortable with or deserving of such a
look.

"What convinced the ministry of my release?" I ask.

"The death eaters." He states. "You're familiar with the sort, right?"

"I think I've heard a thing or two." I reply, matching his sarcasm.

"Around three months ago or so there was an increase in crime, mostly among our world but
also a few within the muggle. We weren't quite sure who was behind it until two weeks ago."
He reaches for his bag, pulls out a file and hands it to me. As I open it and begin looking
through he continues explaining. "We received a letter and well, as you can see, someone is
trying to rebuild the death eater regime and carry out Voldemort's plans. Each attack is on
someone who was either openly against Voldemort or related to someone who was. We still
don't who's curating it all but what we do know is that things are escalating quickly and if we
don't start acting soon then I'm afraid we'll find ourselves amidst another war."

Each case has extensive notes but I only needed to see the photos to know that Greyback has
a part in this. A young male with a knife wound that starts in the groin area in the crook of his
leg and drags down — his favorite, I remember him showing Theo and I on our first day of
training. If Greyback is involved then they're right to assume that they'll be met with some
sort of war in the near future.

"This still doesn't explain why I'm here." I tell him, closing the folder and tossing it on the
desk behind me.

"We proposed using your knowledge on how these people work to aide us in catching them. I
may have also suggested that your specific set of skills would also be of great use."

"And the ministry just went ahead and approved it?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures." He shrugs.

"More like the ministry gets to dispose of the last of the death eaters without having to get
any blood on their own hands. Why not let the mass murderer handle the other murderers,
right?"

"Regardless of their reasonings for approving this, they did. This is not to say there aren't
several stipulations."

"Figured." I scoff. "Alright, go on then, what are they?"

"Harry is your handler so what he says goes, please try your best to at least pretend to respect
him and his orders."

"No promises. What else?"

"You're also to stay with Harry."

"I am not staying at the Weasley home for the misfortunate."

"For your information I have my own flat now." Potter tells me. "And I only live
with one Weasley, one that I recall you being rather fond of." Oh great, freckles.

Lupin carries on listing off the rest of the terms and conditions. I'm to report to the auror
office and when the day is over, straight back to casa de Potter. I'm not allowed a wand and
I'm also to attend weekly therapy sessions with a healer.. I think I'd rather go back to
Azkaban at this point. Of course there's the whole "If you make one unauthorized move you
will be sent back to Azkaban with no chance of a rehearing and the 52 years you have left
will turn into a full life sentencing." On the other hand, if I'm successful in helping them
completely dismantle this new death eater regime then there's a chance that I'll be offered a
full pardon.

Potter is granted an early dismissal from work today so that he can take me back to his place
and get me settled in. As we're walking out Lupin pulls me aside and asks how I'm doing. I
really hate that question, especially when there's an obvious answer. It's bad enough that I'm
going to have to talk over my "feelings" with a bloody healer so he's completely lost his mind
if he thinks I'm actually going to confide in him. I also loathe the way everyone keeps
looking at me, like I'm some fragile child that just had their favorite toy stolen. I'm not a
child, not anymore. Am I fond of the fact that Granger seems to remember everyone and
everything but me? No. But I'm not giving up that easily. They say they've tried to restore her
memories, that they've done everything that they can but they haven't because up until now I
wasn't here.

It's fucking sappy and borderline nauseating to admit but there's certain things that only love
can fix and what she and I had was the strongest and most pure form of love I've ever
witnessed. Through everything, every fucked up thing I did, every stupid decision she made
and every fight we had we always came back to each other. I might be naive to believe that
my love for her, our love, will be what fixes everything but I don't care. She never gave up on
me even when she should have. She never walked away, not fully, so I'm not giving up on
her.

-*-

Potter's place is rather shit for one with the title "The Chosen One" and "The Boy Who
Lived Twice" but I'm trying this whole... nicer thing so I bite my tongue even though there
are several insults that flooded my mind the second I stepped foot inside.

"I'm going to go make sure that your room is ready, I'll only be a moment." Potter tells me.

I wave him off like the nuisance he is and say "Yeah, yeah. You don't need to coddle me
Potter, I'm not some feeble human like Weaslebee. I'm fine." He carefully analyzes my
expression before slowly nodding his head and exiting the room, finally granting me with my
first moment alone since I was stabbed in the heart this morning. I take this time to, in simple
terms, snoop. You can learn an awful lot about someone from the things they keep in their
flat. For example, Potter has managed to go off and gain some sort of importance and
authority within the auror department but is still hanging onto his days at Hogwarts by
displaying his quidditch jumper in his bloody living room like the prat he is. Secondly, he and
freckles are irritatingly a cute couple, though I still stand by my statement that she could do
far better than him.

I'm looking over the several pictures that line their fireplace mantel when I feel my stomach
drop. My hand shakes as I reach out and pick up the frame. Staring back at me is Granger, my
beautiful Granger. It's one of them all sat in this very room in front of a Christmas tree, those
stupid red hats and all. Freckles is holding onto Potter and Granger is holding onto... I'm
going to kill him. My eyes are burning through his hand that's clutching onto her side and I'm
ready to throw the damn thing as I look at the stupid grin on his face, smug fucking bastard. I
always knew I should've killed Weaslebee. I turn around and find the corner that they all
stood in the photo and every emotion hits me like a wave and I don't know if I have it in me
to keep my head above the water.

She was here. She was right in that corner on Christmas day holding onto that fucking tart
while I was mourning her in a dirty cell. She was happy and smiling and laughing and
opening presents while I was most likely breaking every bone in my hands by punching the
stone wall. While I clutched tightly onto the watch that she gave me, to the last piece of her
that I had, she was clutching onto him and probably batting those damn eyes of hers up at
him.

Breathe.

Inhale.

Exhale.

She's alive, that's all that matters.

Like the idiot that I am I glance down at the photo again and this time I do throw it. Glass
flies everywhere as it shatters against the wall and the anger I'm so desperately trying to hold
onto is being forced out by the complete devastation and agony that I've been burying ever
since I saw her. I thought watching as Voldemort drove my own knife into her was the worst
pain I've ever experienced and then in Azkaban that was replaced with every minute of my
day spent being haunted by the memories of her, the sound of her voice and the way she'd
look at me but no, this is by far the worst.

I can hear Potter walking around in the room above me and I'm just thankful that he didn't
hear my little outburst, or maybe he did and for once he's using his common sense and
leaving me alone. I've suppressed and refused to allow the full weight of everything to come
forward but now I'm finding it hard to keep it up. My hand runs down the length of my face
and around to the back of my neck as I begin pacing. My breathing becomes more unsteady
with each inhale and the tightness in my chest that I became all too familiar with while in
Azkaban has returned. I'm used to pain - it's the most common feeling I've experienced but
this, this is different and I don't know how to handle it.
I'm tired. I'm tired of everything going to shit, of never being able to catch a damn break.
Why? Why does everything have to take such a turn every time I just managed to come to
terms - to learn to cope and live with it. I try every technique I used when working through
the loss of her but none of it works. I've reached my tipping point and if I let it all spill over
I'm not sure I'll be able to pull myself out of it this time. I'm just about to say fuck it and let it
all out, to allow myself to feel everything and not care but of course I'm interrupted and I
instantly rebuild the walls.

"Freckles." I say, taking a deep breath in and forcing back the tears once again. "Quite a place
you have, unfortunate that you have to wake up every day and see that revolting face of
scarhead's though." My attempt at our usual banter is weak and easily seen through,
especially by her.

"Harry told me that you would be coming today." The way she speaks to me is the same as
everyone else. She feels sorry for me and I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Don't look at
me like that Weaslette, don't pity me. Stop walking towards me, stop reaching out like I need
someone to comfort me.

"I'm guessing you saw her." She says. Still such an observant individual, what an absolute
genius. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine freckles, really, I just... I need a moment alone." The waver in my words is working
against me in this moment but I just hope she allows me to keep some of my dignity and
kindly fucks off.

"Draco.." She takes a cautious step towards me but I hold up my hand to stop her.

"Really. I'm fine. I'm always fine. This is just another thing and I'll-" My voice breaks and so
do I. Falling to my knees, my head drops into my hands and I just start crying. She rushes to
my side and pulls me into her arms. I fight it at first, I try to push her away, but she holds her
ground and continues to hold me. "I'm f-fine." I stutter between sobs. "Y-you don't need to-"

"It's okay for it to hurt Draco." She tells me. "It's okay for you to be hurt." And just like that I
drop everything - every defensive wall and last bit of strength I have left.

"I can't do it." I cry as I tightly grip onto her arm like she's a life raft - like she's the only thing
keeping me from drowning in this moment. "I c-can't do this Ginny. I missed her so much
and now she-"

"I know Draco... I know."

"It hurts. It fucking hurts and I just-"

"Its okay." She whispers, I can hear the pain in her voice. "It's going to be okay."
 Chapter 81
Chapter Notes

Russian Translation : https://ficbook.net/readfic/12662657 courtesy of Alina Tomil

May 24 2001

Sleeping in a regular bed was a luxury I never thought I'd live to experience again but yet
here I am, waking up and rolling over on one. The mattress dips along with my body and I'd
prefer to not leave this spot at all today but duty calls — more like Potter does. He's been
banging on my door for the past five minutes, shouting that we have to leave for the ministry
in fifteen. Letting out a groan, I slip out from under the sheets and saunter over to the door.
As I'm opening it he goes to knock again, his fist nearly slamming into my forehead but I
grab his wrist to stop him.

"Don't you have some gold pins to be polishing or something?"

His brow quirks. "Gold pins?"

"Yeah, I figured they'd give you one of those shiny little muggle things for all of your
heroics."

"You mean a medal?"

"Sure, that." I reply, rolling my eyes as I stretch my arms out to the side and let out a yawn.

"No Malfoy, I didn't get some war hero medal."

"Shame. I know how much you would've loved to have yet another thing to be pretentious
about."

"Ginny made breakfast." He states, choosing to not engage any further in our previous
conversation. "If you get dressed quickly you'll be able to grab a bite before we head off."

"Does it ever bug you?"

"Does what ever bug me?" He asks, annoyance lacing his tone as he anticipates my next
words to be some sort of joke at his expense.

"Waking up every day and knowing that even though you managed to survive two killing
curses, you'll still never be worthy of her."
"Yes." He answers simply. "You don't need to tell me that Ginny is too good for me, I'm well
aware."

I nod my head a few times before patting his back. "At least we can agree on that." He takes
the time to remind me once again that we need to leave soon before excusing himself and
heading downstairs. I take my time showering, not caring about his uptight schedule. It's been
years since I've been able to experience the sensation of hot water rolling down my skin.
Azkaban had one temperature and that was freezing cold which didn't really matter since you
were limited to three minutes per day. Surprisingly, prison was not a relaxing holiday.

Once I'm finished with my shower, I head to the closet. Just as I'm about to open the doors I
remember that this isn't my house so I'm either going to have to wear the same clothes from
yesterday or whatever ghastly outfits Potter loaned me. If any of his clothes are in there I just
pray freckles managed to not only burn any remnants of him but also enlarge them. Potter is,
even after all this time, a rather scrawny noodle.

I'm both relieved and shocked when I'm met by a full wardrobe that clearly does not, nor has
ever, belonged to scarhead. Everything is a shade of black, grey or white with a few darker
green options thrown in. The tops are a mixture of t-shirts and a few button ups. I'm grateful
there isn't a single pair of muggle jeans within sight and as for the shoes, they're acceptable.

I decide to go for a black pair of slacks and a white button up shirt, leaving the top two
undone. I debated on buttoning it all the way up as a way to cover the branding on the left
side of my neck but in the end I saw no point in trying to hide what everyone already knows.
Rolling the sleeves a quarter way up, the ending of my dark mark just barely peeking out, I
steal one more minute to check my appearance in the mirror.

My hair grew out while in Azkaban, once a month we were offered a haircut but it was
always absolute shit. The only good thing about my outgrown hair is that is helps cover the
tattoo on the back of my neck. It felt very cliché of me to get one while there but there's no
taking it back now — apparently they're permanent. No matter what the current
circumstances are I don't regret getting it. Besides, it's not even in English so it's not like
anyone will be able to read it.

Deciding that Potter has squirmed enough while impatiently waiting for me, I head
downstairs and find the happy couple sat at the dining room table.

"Nice of you to finally join us." Freckles states as she pours me a cup of coffee. "I see you
located your new clothes, you're welcome by the way."

Grateful that she's not bringing up last night's events where I sobbed like a proper child in her
arms, I accept both the mug and attitude and say "I see you still haven't grown into your ears.
Don't worry freckles, scarhead has terrible eyesight so I'm sure he can't even tell."

"Glad to see prison didn't take away your sparkle." She teases.

"Sparkle?" Potter turns to her as I reach across for a scone. "Bloody hell." He gasps.
Realizing that his eyes are trained on the side of my neck, I flick the tip of his nose before
taking a bite of the pastry. "Ow! What the fu-"
"Don't we have somewhere to be?" I ask. He looks down at his watch and instantly grows
frantic. Shooting up and out of his seat, he leans over and places a kiss on freckles' forehead
and wishes her a good day before literally running out the door.

"How you deal with that is beyond me."

She stands up, grabs a bag off the table and forcefully shoves it into my chest. "Give this to
my boyfriend would you, Draco?"

"Sure thing, Ginevra." I smirk.

Making my way outside, I see Potter sat inside of the car, his hands firmly gripping onto the
steering wheel as he impatiently watches me take my sweet time on over to the passenger's
side. The second my door shuts he reverses and begins speeding down the road. Why he
chooses to still use such pointless muggle transportation is beyond me. They have a bloody
floo in their building, it's far quicker and I don't fear for my life like I have both times I've
been driven around by him. He abruptly turns the wheel to the right and weaves in and out of
the two lanes.

"Honestly Potter, if you want to kill me you needn't go to these lengths." I inform him as he
slams his foot down, my body jolting forward and seatbelt locking in place as we come to a
sudden halt.

"Maybe if you spent less time checking yourself out I wouldn't have to speed to make up
time."

"Or." I exaggerate. "We could stop role playing as muggles and just use the floo or apparate."

"Ever since the war Gin has been a bit apprehensive when it comes to magic as a whole. She
lost a lot of people she cared about. Fred, Tonks, Lee and-"

"Granger. I know." I clip, still sensitive to the topic.

"Actually, I was going to say you." I look over at him, a single brow raised as I wait for him
to elaborate. "You may not have died but you might as well have." He continues. "I don't
understand the odd companionship between the two of you and I really don't care to, but I do
respect it. You mean a lot to her and she was a complete mess after your trial. Yes, Hermione
was gone at the time and that took its own toll on her but losing you... it affected her in a far
different way. She'd never admit it but I think she relies on you to some degree, that you
make her stronger."

Potter's confession on freckles' behalf is both surprising and, dare I say, heartwarming. It's
only ever been me growing up. I had Theo who was, in some way, a brother which was nice
but the thought of having a sister never once crossed my mind. Wait - no - that's a lie. I
remember some time during third year a group of girls were trotting around wearing close to
nothing. I personally had nothing against it but I do recall thinking that if I had a sister, any
guy who so much as breathed in her direction would end up at the bottom of the black lake.
I guess freckles managed to sneak her way into that role in my life. Does this mean I get to
drown Potter for touching her? I'm now staring him down, countless different ways of
making him mysteriously disappear running through my mind. Aurors go missing on
assignments all the time, it was a regular topic when my father would discuss the lot. I
remember in muggle studies that car crashes seemed to be a quite frequent occurrence.
Sometimes the bloody thing even manages to catch on fire, leaving the driver completely
unidentifiable, that could work.

"Don't even think about it." He says, snapping me out of my fantasy of watching him slowly
burn to death.

"Think about what, Potter?"

"Whatever it is that's going on in that twisted mind of yours. We're here by the way." The car
comes to a stop in front of a small rundown shop. Potter gets out and I follow suit. As we
enter the building both he and the elderly woman behind the counter share a friendly smile
and nod before the both of us head to the back room.

"I thought we were headed to the ministry?"

"We are." Pushing a small table to the side, a fireplace is revealed. You've got to be fucking
kidding me.

"We drove all this way just to end up using a damn floo?" I let out a scoff of disbelief.

"Just get in." He groans, handing me the jar. "And don't even think about going anywhere
other than the ministry."

Stepping inside of the fireplace and grabbing a handful of powder I say, "Wouldn't dream of
it." I wink as I throw the powder down and call out "Ministry of Magic." The flames instantly
erupting and engulfing me. In seconds I'm back within the building that is even busier than
yesterday. Not long after, Potter appears. As he's patting off his jacket, he begins making his
way across the floor. Apparently, I'm supposed to be following - considering the glare he's
shooting me over his shoulder.

Catching up to him just as he closes in on the lift, I hear the one sound that I'm not sure I'll
ever be prepared for - at least not anytime in the near future. "Good morning Harry." Her
voice is light and bubbly, a stark contrast to her tone from yesterday.

"Morning Hermione." He attempts a friendly smile but fails miserably as his nerves take over
and his eyes dart between her and I. Once the lift returns, Potter slides the gate to the side and
I reach out to hold it open.

"After you." I tell her.

"A renowned murderer and a gentleman? What a fascinatingly complex individual you are,
Draco Malfoy." She mocks. There's still the presence of distaste in her words when speaking
to me but at least she didn't sound like she was on the verge of hurling when saying my name
this time.
"What can I say, Miss Granger, I never was one for simplicity."

"Clearly." She replies as she steps in. Potter files in next and then myself.

Almost immediately upon our arrival, Lupin requests that we all join him in the conference
room. He shuts the door behind us and wastes no time getting straight to business.

"Harry, you'll be joining me on the Watford assignment today." Lupin states.

"Watford? What about Malfoy?"

"He'll be staying here."

Sounds good to me.

"I'm not supposed to leave him unattended."

"He won't be unattended. He'll be under the careful supervision of our brightest."

All of our attention turns to Granger who is casually leaning back into her chair, legs crossed
as she twirls a quill between her fingers.

"Hermione, you're okay with this?" Potter asks.

"It was my idea." She tells him which surprises both scarhead and I. "Besides, would you
really trust this task with anyone else? Collin can barely send an owl out and Val–" There's a
look on her face when saying the name that even I'm having a hard time deciphering but from
what I can tell, we don't like whoever this Val is. "Like I said Harry, it was my idea. So yes,
I'm okay with it."

"Right, since that's settled." Lupin says as he gets up from his chair. "We were meant to leave
well over twenty minutes ago."

"Don't give me that look Remus." Potter groans. "It was Malfoy's fault we were late."

"Maybe if you didn't make us drive halfway across town and just let us use the perfectly
working floo that's right in your bloody building we would've been on time." I argue.

"I thought Ginny was getting better?" Granger questions.

"She is." He says, once again putting on the world's worst front. "I just don't want to set her
back in any way."

"I see." She nods. "Maybe I should come by soon. I know it's been awhile, I've just been so
busy with work as of late and after what happened with–"

"Mione." Potter interjects. "It's okay, she understands. Come over any time, I'm sure she'd
love to see you." He offers her a kind smile before exiting the room, leaving the two of us
alone.
Never in my life did I think I'd find myself uncomfortable in her presence but that's exactly
what I am right now. It's not that I don't want to be alone with her, I just don't know what to
say or do or how to act. She doesn't remember me so everything I've always dreamt of telling
her if I ever somehow saw her again is off the table. It's complete torture sitting no more than
an arms length away from her and not being able to pull her into me and just hold her. It's all
I want right now. I want those innocent moments back. I want to brush my fingers through
her hair, I want her to nuzzle her face into my chest and feel as our breaths sync.

She looks different. I mean, of course she does, it's been three years. Even I don't look the
same as I did when she last saw me – not that she even remembers. But I'm not talking about
her physical appearance. She's beautiful – radiant but that's nothing new. No. It's in the way
she carries herself, how her shoulders are both rolled back but also relaxed. It's the way in
which she speaks of others. In the past you would've had a better chance at catching a
demiguise than to hear her so openly insult someone on their intelligence. She's still Granger
but with an almost hardened exterior and more cynical outlook.

"If you're done with your gawking, I do have some work that needs to be tended to." Quite
the attitude for being the one to suggest this particular arrangement. I might be foolish to say
this but I don't buy her little excuse to Potter as to why she did so. I'm not saying she was
searching for an opportunity to get me alone but it is a theory I'm highly enjoying
entertaining.

"Pray tell Granger, what is on that tedious and most likely color coded schedule of yours?"

Her hand slams down to cover her planner which is, just as I said it would be, color coded.
"How did you–" She begins but quickly decides against finishing.

Because I know you, love. Just like you know me.

She rolls her eyes at the smug look on my face, stands and opens the door. "Well come on
then. I don't have all day. Some of us have a job."

-*-

We're now at her desk and I've been sat in this stupid chair for the past hour watching as she
scribbles away at the forms spread out in front of her. I always found it ironic how neat and
organized of a person she is and how those same qualities seemed to completely dissipate the
second she began working on something. I remember countless nights I'd return to my dorm
to find the bed completely covered in parchment and books. Most times she wouldn't even
notice my presence as she was too consumed by whatever assignment it was that night.
"I'm sure if you'd just ask they'd provide you with a larger workspace." A male voice rings
through the air. Both Granger and I's heads shoot up. Annoyance instantly stains her face as
her eyes land on the prat now stood before us.

"Reid." Her lips pulling into a tight smile. "Like I've told you countless times, I don't require
nor do I desire a larger workspace. What I have is perfectly fine."

His eyes scan over the, what I'm sure he categorizes as, disorganized mess but that's because
he doesn't know that this is how she works best and why would he? That would require
taking the time to actually get to know and understand her. Instead, he's too busy getting to
know the area just below her clavicle and it's taking everything in me to not smash his head
in.

"I find it hard to believe that you're able to be productive with such clutter Hermione."

"It's called chaotic organization." We both state at the same time which doesn't shock me but
clearly she can't say the same as her gaze darts over to me and eyebrows pull together. She
shakes her head and returns her attention back to the little git.

"Anyways Reid, as lovely as it was receiving even more unsolicited advice from you, I need
to get back to my work." This must be some sort of daily routine for these two. Consider
yourself added to the list Reid, right underneath Weaslebee.

-*-

Another two hours pass before she gifts me with her acknowledgement of my presence,
something she's refused to do at all costs.

"How did you know what I was going to say back then?" She asks, a question that's
obviously been on her mind since the very moment it happened.

"Because I know you, Granger. You may not know me but I know you."

"I can assure you that I do in fact know you."

"You know what you've had access to, which admittedly aren't my greatest moments." I
fumble with the parchment in my hands, making folds and creases as I continue. "I don't
know what Potter, Lupin or anyone else has told you but there was a time where you were the
only person who truly knew me, all of me."

"What, like your favorite color or something?"

I can't tell if she meant for that to be a joke but regardless, I let out a soft chuckle as I make
another fold.

"That and also other things." I place the paper crane on the desk and watch as her eyes flit
down to it. I swear I see something pop into her mind, a flash of a memory perhaps but let's
be honest, I'm most likely looking too much into it. "One day you'll understand, one day
you'll remember, but until then I'm not going anywhere."

"Well it's not like you have much choice in the matter." She states. "You're here on ministry
order."

I shake my head. "I didn't mean here as in this office or even this building. I meant here,
Granger." My hand resting down on top of hers causing her to let out a small gasp and
shoulders to straighten but she doesn't pull away, at least not until someone walks by.

I lean back into my chair and cross my arms, the corner of my mouth lifting. "Yeah, there was
a time you acted like that too. It's okay love, I can be a patient man... for you."

-*-

The rustling sound of papers catch my attention, pulling me from my riveting counting of the
cracks on the ceiling. Just as I'm turning my head to look at her she drops a letter in my lap.

"What's this?" I ask as I pick it up.

"Read it."

I'm a paragraph in and still haven't a clue as to why this was given to me, a fact she must've
picked up on because she goes on to say "Skip to the bottom."

Sincerely,
Percival Parkinson

"Ring a bell?" She asks.

"Obviously, it's Pansy's father. Wait – do you know who Pansy is?"

"Yes Malfoy, I know who Pansy Parkinson is and I'm assuming you do too seeing as you
were both in Slytherin."

How did she know what house I was in?

"It was in your file." She informs me.

Is this fucking witch reading my mind or am I that obvious? Gods, am I turning into Potter?
A man who is completely incapable of doing anything but display his every thought and
emotion through his facial expressions. Fuck that. Absolutely not.

Not wanting to grant her another chance to answer my question before I'm able to ask it I
quickly spit out "Why are you showing me this?"

"Because we're meeting with him for lunch."

"We?"

"Yes. I'm relying on your relationship with the family to help earn his trust which might
possibly be the most moronic thing I've ever done and if it goes sideways I'm sure I won't
hear the end of it but we'll cross that bridge when the time comes." She's grabbing her
belongings and motioning for me to follow her which isn't necessary, I'd willingly follow this
damn woman into a burning building.

The walk was almost entirely silent. Usually I appreciate it when someone doesn't feel the
need to fill time with unnecessary small talk but all I want is for her to do that, to just speak
to me. She can insult me for 24 hours straight, 365 days of the year and I would just be happy
that I have her attention in any capacity. But nope. I was barely even given a side glance
which was only offered when I nearly ran into a post due to being distracted by a muggle
man screaming into a small rectangular device.

"It's a cell phone." She told me, as if that explained a single fucking thing.

Reaching our destination, which happens to be a small muggle café, I instantly spot Mr.
Parkinson sat at a table near the front window. Granger's entire demeanor shifts the second
we step inside. Her eyes narrow, posture straightens and there's determination in her eyes -
this woman means business. Gods this is not the time for me to be turned on by her.

She confidently marches up to him, myself following close behind. When he notices us he
stands like the proper pure-blood he is and takes her hand in his, kissing her knuckles.

"Miss Granger, it's a delight to finally meet you in person." He says, flashing her a charming
smile.

"Likewise, Mr. Parkinson. Glad you could finally fit me into your busy schedule."

"And you, Draco. I can't tell you how relieved and excited I was to hear of your early release
from Azkaban. I do hope your momentary stay wasn't too dreadful." His arm extending out to
me. I shake his hand because it's the polite thing to do and my mother would be rather cross
with me if I didn't at least act like I respect the man.

"Always a pleasure crossing paths with you, Percival." Which is one of the biggest lies I've
ever told. Ever since I found out how he treated Pansy any drop of respect I had for him was
discarded. I will never understand a man who treats a woman that way, especially their own
daughter, and that's coming from me.

The first ten minutes or so are spent with him essentially blowing smoke up his own arse
which is very in character of him. If there's anything this man loves more than money it's
himself, understandable why he and my father got along so well. Both put their status above
their family and each get off from the sound of their own voice. Finally, we get to the real
reason we're all gathered here today.

"Mr. Parkinson, it's a known fact that you had involvement with the original death eater
regime." Granger begins. " I don't mean to be brash but I didn't come all this way to hear
about the newest piece of art you've acquired. You were the one to reach out to us to offer
information on the new assembly after all."

He takes a sip of his coffee and just sits there and stares at her for a moment like the dick he
is before speaking. "There were talks amongst a few members about what should happen if
the dark lord were to fall."

"And what did these talks entail?" She questions.

"Precisely what is taking place currently, rebuilding and seeing his wishes through. Miss
Granger, I believe you're familiar with the name Antonin Dolohov, correct?"

Her hardened stare doesn't falter at the mention of the individual but her leg does start rapidly
bouncing, she's anxious. I know that she doesn't remember me but I can't help to wonder if
that means everything we had done together was also lost. For example, does she remember
Dolohov? Does she remember the fact that he was the one who curated the plan to capture
her parents? And does she remember what steps were taken to ensure their safety? The
countless questions I have aren't important right now though, what's important is being there
for her and not letting this self righteous twat get to her.

Underneath the table, I reach over and gently rest my hand on her knee, the bouncing seizing
upon contact. Her eyes flick over to me and I give her a slight nod as a way to tell her that I'm
here, that she's okay and that she can do this. The small gesture must've worked in some way
because she carries on, not allowing his attempt at sidetracking work. I sit back, my hand
never leaving her knee, and observe as she practically rips him a new one. That's my girl.

By the end of the meeting Percival has given us very little useful information but enough to
provide a good starting place with this case. Based on all of this I'd say it's safe to say that
Greyback and Dolohov are in charge of the attacks but neither are the ones calling the shots
which I could've told you, they're both far too incompetent for a role of that caliber.

Granger is her usual polite self when we say our goodbyes, myself not so much. Unlike when
we first arrived, I don't offer him so much as a fake smile. He does, however, grab my
shoulder to pull me aside as we're about to walk away.

"Percival, I'd appreciate it if you didn't touch me." I say, slapping his arm away. "I don't need
you dirtying my brand new clothes with your woman beating hands."
His jaw tightens but he ignores my comment. "Your father would drop dead if he knew you
were working with them."

"I could only be so lucky if he did." I retort. "I'm sure he'd have some things to say about
your actions today. I believe what you've just done was considered an act of disloyalty.
Would be a shame if word got back to them somehow, we're both well aware of what happens
to traitors." I smirk.

"Your father is a ruthless man Draco but I needn't tell you that. What I do need to tell you is
that he is far more sinister than even you may believe. I highly suggest staying alert at all
times and keeping a watchful eye on those you care about, like the girl." His head nodding in
Granger's direction. I look over to see her just outside talking to some homeless man. Of
course she is, the humanitarian in her makes it impossible for her to not feel for the sort.

Turning my attention back to him I say "What do you know Percival? I know there's more
than you led Granger to believe. If you know something about her current state tell me."

He shakes his head. "I haven't a clue as to what you're referring to." Lying bastard. "It was
good to see you Draco. If you happen to see my daughter, tell her that I say hello and that I
miss her." This time he's the one who tries to walk away and I'm the one to stop him, my grip
on his arm so tight that if I were to add just the smallest amount of pressure his bone would
snap in two.

"If I find out that you're lying, that you knew something about her, I will kill you." I threaten.
"The only reason you've managed to live to see today is because Pans made me swear to not
get involved but all I need is one reason to break that promise." I release my hold on him and
harshly pat his cheek before walking away.

The journey back to the ministry is just as silent as was the one to the café. There's something
on her mind which isn't anything new, there's always something going on in that head of hers,
but whatever it is right now it's bugging her.

"Alright, out with it Granger." I command.

She stops mid stride and looks up at me. "Out with what?"

"Whatever it is that's causing the vein in your forehead to nearly burst, it's an obvious tell that
something is bothering you."

"Can you stop that?" She bites out.

"Stop what, Granger?"

"Pretending to know me! To know what it is that I'm thinking and like and just stop!"

"I'm not pretending, I do know you. I know that you bite your nails when you're caught off
guard, I know that whenever your leg starts bouncing like it did earlier it means that you're
either stressed or anxious. I know that you work best on an assignment with everything
spread out in what everyone else perceives to be a sloppy mess. I know that your nose
scrunches when you're mad, just like it is right now." I say as her nose does in fact scrunch. "I
know that you prefer tea over coffee and that you like a spoon of honey in it but you don't
like it stirred in. I know that peonies are your favorite flower because they're linked to
healing and goodwill and that even though you sometimes wished you had a sibling you
enjoyed that you had your parents to yourself. I know you Granger, I know you because I
love you and somehow I managed to get you to love me too."

She looks like she's about to slap me and I'm fully prepared for her to. Was this the best way
to go about saying all of this? No, probably not, but I don't care. She needs to hear it, she
needs to know that I'm not some random bloke who fantasizes about her naked. I mean I am
but that's not all I think about, to be honest it's the last thing that crosses my mind. I'm the
man who laid awake all night as I held her in my arms and dreamt about our future together.
I'm the man who killed my own aunt for hurting her and I'm the man who will do whatever it
takes to get her back.

"For the past three years all people have done is try to tell me who I love." She says. "Every
week I go and see a healer to try and restore memories that I apparently used to have,
memories of you. I continue to attend the sessions for Harry, Remus and Ginny because for
some reason me regaining them means a lot to them, though I still fail to see why. I have
enough people telling me what I'm supposed to feel and I don't need another added to that list
Malfoy!"

"I would do anything for you Granger, except what you're asking of me right now."

"Why the hell not?!"

"Because!" I quickly pull back and correct my tone. She may be yelling but I don't want to be
doing the same. I'm trying to show her that I'm more than what's in my file and shouting
won't help me with that. "Because." I repeat, my voice calmer. "I can accept you hating me
for leaving you that day at Hogwarts. I can accept you changing your mind and wanting
nothing to do with a man like me. But this?" My hand gesturing between the both of us. "You
not remembering me at all? That I can't accept. I refuse to."

I take a step forward, closing the gap between us and take her hands in mine. "I'm sorry that
you're constantly being told how to feel by others, truly, but it's because even your friends
who used to be just as disgusted by me as you are now, also saw what we had. How much we
love one another. I've already lost you once and it nearly killed me, I'm not losing you again."

I want to kiss her but I know that I've already done too much and I should just be thankful she
hasn't hexed me yet. I hate the way she's looking at me right now, like I'm some stranger who
is invading her personal space, which I guess I technically am but that doesn't mean it doesn't
hurt.

"You once told me that I was a wonderful man, a good man. That you were grateful and
lucky to have me in your life and that I deserve to be happy, that I deserve forgiveness. I don't
believe for even a second that how you felt about me then isn't still somewhere inside of you.
Come back. Come back to me, love."
As she pulls her hands away it feels like a dagger straight to the heart and the words she says
next only twist and bury the knife deeper.

"I don't love you Malfoy, you need to move on, just like I did."
 Chapter 82

May 25 2001

"Name?" The elderly man requests.

"Rubeus Hagrid." I answer.

His head lowers and eyes peer over the brim of his glasses. "Your actual name, Mr. Malfoy."

"Clearly you already know it."

Now he removes his glasses altogether, folding and placing them down on the table beside
him. I've never understood the concept of therapy. How is some healer sitting and staring at
me for an hour straight supposed to "rehabilitate" me? And what do I need rehabilitating for?
Last time I checked I wasn't physically impaired nor do I have any sort of drinking problem.
This entire thing seems ridiculous and an utter waste of time.

"Do you know why you're here today?" He asks.

"I believe the anatomically correct answer is my father's seed fertilized my mother's egg and
nine months later I was forced into this insufferable world."

Unamused by my snark, he continues on to say "The ministry has asked me to provide them
with updates on your emotional state, to alert them if I believe you are at risk of hurting
others or yourself. Would you say you feel an inclination towards either of the previously
mentioned Mr. Malfoy?"

"Depends on my mood." I shrug.

"And what mood are you currently?"

"Annoyed, bored and my choice in clothing has me a bit agitated."

"And why is that?"

"The material this shirt is made out of feels like the underside of a porlock's–"

"I was referring to you being annoyed, Mr. Malfoy." He informs me.

Rather rude to interrupt someone, especially when the whole purpose of this meeting is for
me to talk. This room smells weird too and it's all far too sterile for something that's supposed
to give off a warm and inviting feeling. The couch I'm sat on is the cheapest leather I've ever
come in contact with, it more closely resembles the material in which muggle rubber ducks
are made of. Regardless of my distaste in his choice of furniture, I entertain his question.

"No offense...?"
"You may refer to me as healer or Mr. Nuttall."

"Unfortunate surname, may I ask what your given is?"

"Glenice."

"Glenice Nuttall?" A soft but mocking chuckle escaping the back of my throat. "Your mother
really hated you, huh?"

"My mother passed away last year." Shit. "And yes, she was in fact, not the biggest fan of
me. What about your relationship with your mother? Are you two close?"

Ah what a slick git, I should've seen that one coming.

"My mother is, in simple terms, a weak minded individual."

"Would you mind explaining it in more complex terms?" He requests.

Actually, I would. I don't see what my relationship, or lack thereof, with my mother has to do
with him reporting back to the ministry on whether or not I'm about to go kill someone,
which I am fairly close to doing. My last conversation with Granger ended in the worst
possible way, her confirming that Weaslebee and herself have been locking lips and then
storming off. Potter tried to pry information out of me on our way back to his flat that
evening but I didn't grant him any of the sort.

I stayed up all night trying to wrap my head around the fact that someone as intelligent as
Granger would be so daft to even give the weasel a chance, let alone actually date the moron.
It was around 2 am when I made my way downstairs which led me straight into a late night
conversation with freckles.

"You're up late." She states.

"And you're still very talented at pointing out the obvious." I retort as I head over to the
cabinets.

"You're not going to find any."

"Find any what?"

"Liquor. We only buy some when we have guests and these days, that's not a very common
occurrence."

I'm not confirming that I was looking for liquor but I do close the cabinets and join her at the
table. "Potter said you've been rather put off by magic since the war." I say, grabbing a
cookie from her plate and taking a bite out of it. "He may have also suggested that you were
completely distraught when I got sent off to Azkaban. Very touching to know that I mean so
much to you freckles." I smirk.

Smacking the remainder of the cookie out of my hand she says "I was not distraught , I just
didn't think they gave you a fair trial. That bloody witch barely let me speak and as for your
statement about magic- yes, that's correct."

"First of all, rude." I say, wiping the crumbs from my lap. "Secondly, why? Are you really
going to let some man who is now nothing more than a pile of ash taint magic for you? Are
you really going to waste all of your potential?"

"Potential?"

"Don't act like that." I ridicule.

"Act like what, Draco?"

"Modest. It's not befitting of you and quite insulting, Ginevra. We both know that Potter being
an auror is solely due to his celebrity status, just like we know that you would be far better
suited for the position. I'm not saying you need to go work alongside your little boy toy but
don't wither away in this flat. Reignite that fire of yours and show the world that not all of the
Weasley lot are complete boneheads."

While she takes the next few minutes to digest my wise words, I grab another cookie - this
time I manage to eat it all before she smacks my hand.

"I thought after three years you would've managed to develop some sort of manners." I scoff.
"No wonder you don't have any guests. Being a good host doesn't involve abuse."

She looks angry, genuinely angry. The fuck did I do now?

"It's a bit hypocritical of you to sit there and tell me to not wither away in this flat." She
scolds. "Harry told me that you and Hermione spent the day together and considering you're
talking to me in the middle of the night, I'd say it didn't go well."

"To clarify, I didn't come down here seeking out your company."

"You know that she and Ron are together, right?"

"Yes and thank you for pouring salt into an already painful wound, freckles." I bite out.

"So what are you going to do?"

"In regards to?" I ask, annoyance lacing my words.

"Hermione. How are you planning on getting her back?"

I lift a single curious brow at her. "You do realize that the poor excuse of a man she's
currently with is your own brother, right?"

"Please don't remind me." She groans, rolling her eyes.

"So you're okay with me stealing his girlfriend from him?"

"Technically you wouldn't be stealing anything, she would leave on her own. Whenever she
comes to her senses that is." The last part is muttered under her breath and I don't believe
she intended for me to hear, so I won't comment on it. I will, however, file it away and add it
to my ever growing list of things to think about instead of sleeping. "Anyways, what's the plan
then?" She asks. "Are you going to pass her little notes in the office? Ask her out to dinner?
Flood her with gifts? Flowers? Chocolate? She's been on a real sweet tooth kick last I
heard."

The way freckles speaks about Granger makes it obvious that the pair haven't spoken in some
time. I figured it had been a bit since they've seen each other based on Potter's statement this
morning but at most I thought maybe a few days. Now I'm beginning to think it's been weeks,
maybe even months. Maybe she should be focusing more on her own relationship with
Granger instead of mine but what do I know?

"No." I reply. "I will not be wining and dining Granger nor will I be trying to buy her love,
we both know that will only result in her hating me even more."

"Then what?"

"I'm going to do what I've always done, I'm going to be there for her."

The sound of a throat clearing pulls me back to present time and to the old man who is
unfortunately still sitting across from me.

"Ah, there you are. Very nice of you to rejoin me. As I was saying, would you please
elaborate on your relationship with your mother, Mr. Malfoy?"

I really don't like this man but if providing him with details on the tragic story that is my
childhood will keep me out of Azkaban for the time being then so be it.

"My mother sat around and watched as my father dragged a knife across my body and broke
both my bones and self worth. She said and did nothing but still tries to tell me that all she
wants is for me to be happy, that I didn't deserve any of the terrible things that happened to
me. I think she's full of shit."

"And why do you think that?"

"Because if a person, if a mother truly felt that way, then she would've done something to
stop said terrible things from happening in the first place. If her continuing to believe that she
had no say in the matter helps her sleep at night then by all means."

He's nodding his head and I'm just now realizing that he hasn't written a single thing down,
he doesn't even have a quick-quotes quill. I've never been to therapy before but I do know
that usually some sort of scribbling takes place.

"It must've been hard to grow up so quickly, to never be allowed to just be a kid." Is there a
question hidden in there somewhere? It sounds like there might be but I can't locate it. I don't
know what he expects me to say so I'm just not going to say anything at all, seems like the
best course of action. "Let me rephrase." He says, leaning forward and resting his arms on his
knees. "Do you ever wish you had a normal childhood?"

"Define normal, Mr. Nuttall."

"One where you spent your afternoons running around the backyard with your friends or
playing gobstones. One where you didn't undergo such harsh punishment for things I'm sure
warranted no punishment in the first place."

Yeah, no. I see what he's trying to do here. He may be some sort of professional but even he
lacks the ability to mask the pity he feels for me. This isn't what I expected. I predicted this
meeting to go one of two ways. The first, Mr. Nuttall being repulsed by my very presence and
sneering at me the entire session. The second would've involved him trying to fight me, that
would've been fun. But this? Him trying to understand me? To sympathize? I'm not allowing
it.

"My father was a proper dick but I'm a stronger man because of him. If I had been afforded
the luxury of a childhood like the one you described then I highly doubt I'd still be alive."

“And how does that make you feel?” The timer sitting on the table beside him goes off just as
the last word falls from his lips and I’ve never been more grateful to hear the annoying
sound. I would rather have every single one of my teeth pulled out one by one than answer
such a cliché question.

“Well Mr. Nuttall.” I say, slapping my hands down onto my thighs before standing. “As fun
as this was, I believe our time is up.”

“I will see you next week at the same time as today, Mr. Malfoy.” He tells me, extending his
hand out. My eyes flick down to the clammy and slightly trembling hand but I don’t shake it.

“Easy mate, you may have popped my therapy cherry today but let’s not get ahead of
ourselves. There will need to be at least two more dates before I consider going to second
base with you.”

“Second base?” He questions.

“You know, hand stuff.”

He quickly retracts his hand and shoves it into his pocket as he clears his throat. “Like I said,
same t–”

“Yeah, yeah.” I say, waving my hand. “Same time as today.”

–*–
“Put the sponge and plate down, you’re coming with me.” I command as I enter the kitchen.
Freckles jumps at the sudden sound of my voice, nearly dropping the plate into the sink.
Spinning around, she lets out a sigh of relief as she rests her hand over her heart.

“Fucks sake Draco, a warning next time would be nice.”

“If you perhaps left this bloody place every once in a while you wouldn’t be so startled by the
mere presence of another individual.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be at the ministry with Harry? Does he know you’re here?” She
asks.

“Does he know that you have a subscription to Wizard Weekly?” Her face instantly turns the
same shade as her hair. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Don’t worry freckles, your little secret is
safe with me.” I smirk. “Now, like I said, you’re coming with me.”

“And where exactly are we going may I ask?”

I offer her a shrug. “Out. I was locked in a cell for the past three years and apparently, so
were you. I’d say we deserve some fun, don’t you?”

“This completely goes against ministry orders.” Gods, she sounds like Granger.

Walking up to her, I grab her shoulders and lightly shake her. “Loosen up freckles. Besides,
there’s a few gray areas in the terms and conditions when it comes to my freedom that could
easily be argued.”

“Even you being here without Harry could get you sent back to Azkaban.” Her tone full of
worry.

“Then we might as well make the most of it.” I state. Before she has the chance to give me
another poor excuse or reason as to why this is a bad idea, I grab her arm and drag her
towards the door.

Reaching the lobby of their building, she yanks back and shouts “Draco stop!”

“Fucking hell freckles.” I groan, turning around to face her. “Since when did you become
such a recluse?”

Offended, she crosses her arms and says “I am not a recluse.”

“Is that so? A recluse, someone who lives a solitary life and tends to avoid other people.
Sounds just like you. I’m sure if we were to find a book on the topic your face would be
plastered across every page.”
“I was only telling you to stop because I don’t have any shoes on.” My eyebrows pull
together as I look down at her feet to see that she is indeed without any. “So if you don’t
mind, I’ll just run back upstairs to get a pair.” I grab her wrist just as she’s turning to leave.
It’s a valid excuse she has but I know better than to trust her to come back.

“Needn’t worry freckles, I can remedy that.” A small flick of my wrist and a pair of trainers
appear on her feet, her eyes going wide as she rocks back and forth in place.

“I thought you weren’t allowed magic?”

“Ah see, a perfect example of a gray area.” I grin. “I was only informed that I wasn’t allowed
a wand, no one said anything about magic in general.”

“And you just happen to be skilled in wandless magic?” She questions.

“Your tone of surprise is hurtful.” I say. “Now that your feet are properly dressed, can we get
on with our adventure?”

Reluctantly, she nods her head. As we approach the floo I can see the hesitation she has.
Gods, Potter wasn’t exaggerating when he said she was apprehensive when it comes to
magic.

“This won’t do.” I tell her, shaking my head.

“What won’t?”

“This.” My hands waving in front of her face. “You look like you’re about to either cry or
puke, maybe even both. I don’t understand how the war deterred you from magic to such an
extent.”

Yup, she’s about to slap me. At least if she did I’d know that some piece of the freckles I
know and don’t entirely loathe is still in there. Her hand raises but instead of her palm
making contact with my left cheek her fingers pinch at the bridge of her nose.

“I really don’t want to talk about it Draco.” She sighs.

“Fine, we won’t take the floo.” Reaching into my pocket, I remove the set of keys and dangle
them in front of her. “Guess we’ll be living like the muggles today.”

Her eyes widen. “Are those the keys to Harry’s car?” I casually nod as I begin heading for the
door, freckles following close behind. “Why do you have them?” She questions as we
approach the, in my humble opinion, piece of shit. You’d think scarhead would use his title to
help him afford a decent vehicle.

“How do you think I got back here without a trace?” I say as I open the door to the driver’s
side. “Your boyfriend needs to be more aware of his surroundings, it was far too easy to
swipe them from him.”

She’s once again resembling Granger and I can’t say I’m a fan of it. Her arms are crossed and
the look she’s giving me is full of disappointment. If I could see her feet right now I’d say
she’s even tapping her foot.

“Remove the wand from your arse and get in the car freckles.” I instruct before climbing in.
It takes her nearly five minutes but she does end up joining me. I flash her a grin to which she
does slap me, at least it was only my arm. Inserting the key into the little hole like before, I
turn it and listen as the familiar humming begins. “I will give the muggles this, there’s an
exhilarating feeling that comes from driving that neither apparating or using the floo
provides.”

“I didn’t know that you knew how to drive.” Freckles says. “It doesn’t seem like something
your parents would’ve spent time teaching you.”

“You would be correct.” I tell her as I fiddle with the stick handle thing until I feel the car
slowly move forward.

“What do you mean I’d be correct? Are you telling me that you don’t actually know how to
drive?!”

“Can’t say I do.” I casually reply as I press my foot down on the little rectangle. “But clearly
I got myself here in one piece so we’ll be just fine.”

We’ve been on the road for less than ten minutes and she’s already argued three times that
she should be driving, screamed that I was about to hit the car in front of me when I wasn’t
even close and has scolded me for not using my “blinker”, I still have no clue what that
means.

To be honest, I have no idea where I’m going either. All I know was that after suffering
through that therapy session I didn’t feel like heading back to the auror office and following
Potter around all day, I also wasn’t too keen on the idea of facing Granger again. Freckles
wasn’t originally part of the plan but reflecting on our last conversation I figured she would
benefit from this excursion just as much, if not more.

There were a lot of things and people I thought about while in Azkaban but I can’t say she
was one of them. If you asked me then why that is I’d probably say something along the lines
of “She doesn’t hold enough importance in my life for me to do so” but the truth is I think it’s
because she does hold a lot of importance. She’s not as highly ranked as Granger is in my life
but she’s up there. I’ve never found myself wondering where I fell in freckles’ list of
priorities because there’s always been a sort of unspoken understanding between the two of
us. We care about one another but will kill anyone who tries to get us to admit it.

I’ve also never worried about her in general, until now. She’s always been a strong individual
who I knew to be perfectly capable of handling her own but the girl sitting next to me now is
the exact opposite. She looks like freckles, physically, but everything about her is off. She’s
sunken down into her seat and I know that’s not solely due to my “poor” driving skills. Her
confidence is now replaced by uncertainty and though she still manages to carry the same
banter as before I can tell that it’s forced and something she’s no longer accustomed to.

In summary, I fucking hate this version of her. This isn’t who she’s meant to be and I’ll be
damned if I just sit back and watch as she wastes her life being some sort of housewife to
Potter.

Spotting a sign that has a symbol of a train, I make an abrupt turn and continue down the
street until we find ourselves in front of a train station. Fiddling with the handle thing again
to position it next to the letter p, I turn and remove the keys. Entering the muggle infested
building, I join the queue.

“Where are we going?” Freckles asks.

“Wherever the next train is headed.”

“Next!” The clerk shouts. Stepping forward, I offer the woman a curt nod and say “Two
tickets for whatever train is departing first.” She found this to be a rather annoying request.
Releasing an exasperated breath, she angrily clicks down on the board covered in letters.
Turning her head to face me again she informs me that it will be £15. Just as I’m reaching
into my pocket I spot freckles reaching into her own.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” I question.

“Paying.” She replies. “I highly doubt you have any muggle money.”

“I’m not fond of the clearly little confidence you have in me. I was very aware that galleons
and sickles wouldn’t be able to fund this excursion.” Taking out the proper muggle money
that’s been requested, I slide it across the desk and in exchange I’m given two tickets. “Looks
like we’re headed to London.” I smirk as I hold them up.

“You two make an awfully cute couple.” The clerk says, both of our heads instantly whipping
around.

“We aren’t dating.” Weaslette blurts out. “I’d rather kill myself.” I scoff.

“Oh, my apologies. It just seemed like you two were- nevermind. Well hey, if you’re not
seeing anyone, I get off in an hour.” The girl gushes as she leans forward and bats her eyes at
me.

“No.” I reply, my face twisting in disgust at her advance. “I have a girlfriend- sort of- it’s
complicated. See I got sent to prison and while I was there I grieved said girlfriend because
my former boss had killed her in front of me but apparently she wasn’t actually dead and
while I was suffering she was out dating freckles’ prat of a brother.”

“Who is freckles?”

“I am.” Weaslette says.

“That’s an odd name.”

“It’s not my real name.”

“Then why does he call you freckles?”

“Because she has freckles.” I state. “Honestly I don’t see how that’s what you decided to
focus on out of everything I just told you.”

“I’ve heard weirder.” The girl shrugs.

“If I gave a shit I’d be concerned about you but thankfully, I don’t.” An announcement is
made that our train is preparing to depart. “That’s our cue.” I say to freckles, grabbing her
arm and dragging her away. The clerk shouts something but I can’t be bothered to figure out
what. Making our way through the cart, we find a pair of empty seats and settle in.

“You know, Harry is probably losing his mind trying to find you right now.” She tells me.

“Wonderful, this can be a test to see how good of an auror he truly is. If he manages to locate
me before sunset I’ll award five points to Gryffindor.” I smirk.

“How did you even manage to get muggle money? And how much do you have?”

“Where everyone else gets muggle money obviously and I don’t know, 200 galleons worth is
what I requested.”

Her jaw is practically on the floor as she stares at me. “Bloody hell Draco, why did you get
so much?”

“That’s not a lot?” I say but then I remember who I’m talking to. She was lucky if she
managed to get a pair of socks that hadn’t been remade from some fabric her mother found
around the house. I’m about to make some snide remark but she speaks before I’m able to do
so.

“If you went to Gringotts then surely Harry is on our tail.” She states. “You aren’t exactly a
person who blends in with the rest.”

“Oh, I didn’t step foot in that place, I’m not an idiot. I had Hillman go and he met me at the
ministry.”

“Hillman?” Her eyebrows knit together as she tries to place the name. “Wait. You mean the
guy who brought you to the ministry on your first day?” I nod. “You had a guard from
Azkaban run around and do errands for you?”

“That’s what acquaintances are for, are they not?”

“You’re unbelievable Draco.”

“And you’re talking a lot. Sit back and shut up for the next hour would you? I’d like to try
and get some sleep before our big day.”
London

Muggles are revolting. As we exited the train station I saw one of them passed out on the
floor, watched as four of them just threw their trash onto the ground even though there was a
bin just ahead and I’m pretty sure I witnessed a man wet himself. Regardless of my aversion
to the lot, London has always been a place I’ve thoroughly enjoyed visiting. My grandmother
used to take me during the summer and then there was the one time Granger took me. Both of
those facts will cause London to forever remain a special place to me.

“Now what?” Freckles asks as we stand on the sidewalk while muggles pass us by.

“Seeing as we not only drove and took the train like proper muggles, I say we experience
London like them too.”

“Are you suggesting we act like tourists?”

“Even worse.” Leaning into her, I whisper “American tourists.”

She lets out an over dramatic gasp and her hand flies up to her mouth. “The horror!”

“I know, how will we survive?”

“I don’t believe we will.”

“I’d have to agree.”

Our first task as American tourists was purchasing the proper attire. She settled on an I heart
London shirt while I opted in for a hat with the same design. Now that we look the part we
make our way to the first destination, Buckingham Palace. Apparently it’s a rather big deal to
see some men dressed in ridiculous outfits walk from one spot to the next. The aspect that
really peeked both freckles’ and I’s attention? The guards aren’t allowed to react to people.
Specifically, they’re not supposed to laugh.

The gates are surrounded by tourists, each one clutching tightly onto a small device that I was
told to be a camera. I’ve seen a camera before, Granger had one and used it often, those look
nothing like it. On our way we asked a passerby what time the guards take a stroll. “Eleven
and it’s not a stroll, have some respect for the ceremony.” He ridiculed, what a wanker.

“How much longer?” She asks as we push our way through the crowd.

I lift my arm and check the time. “Ten minutes or so.”

“What? That doesn’t seem right. The man said eleven, correct?”

“Correct.”

“The last store we passed had a clock and it said five to eleven, how did we manage to gain
time?”
“Fuck if I know freckles but it doesn’t matter because it looks like it’s starting.” I say,
grabbing her shoulders and turning her around. We watch in silence as three men march their
way over to the others. It’s a very underwhelming experience but everyone else seems to be
completely enthralled by it. We share a quick glance and agree to move on to what we really
came here for.

Weaslette steps forward first and goes on to make a full on fool of herself by doing weird
dances and making even weirder noises which earns some stares from those around us but
nothing, not even the slightest quiver of the lip from the guard. Giving up, she steps away and
rejoins me.

“Well that was embarrassing.”

“I gave it my best shot.” She shrugs. “But if you have any ideas, by all means.”

“I have one.” I tell her. “Follow my lead.” Once I find myself standing just in front of the
guard I begin one of the greatest performances of my life. “For the last time Mary, I’m not
role playing as a guard during our hanky-panky time!” I shout in my best American accent.
Freckles’ face turns a bright shade of red as the muggles around us turn to stare. “I could
never fill the uniform out as well as he does.” My left hand covers my eyes as I pretend to
cry.

“Draco, what are you-”

“I mean can you believe it?!” I direct at the guard as I throw my hands up in the air. “Do you
know what that woman has requested of me?” His eyes remain trained on the area in front of
him. “She wants to dress as the Queen and watch as I march back and forth.” I tell him. “And
then when she’s satisfied with that she wants to..” I pretend to check my surroundings before
leaning closer in and whispering “She wants to London bridge me. Do you know what that
is?”

Silence.

“Usually it involves two men with a woman in the middle to form a sort of bridge.” His
eyebrow lifts slightly, signaling that I’ve caught his attention. “But she wants me to be the
bridge.” The corner of his mouth twitches but he fights back the smile. Time for the finale. “I
guess I should just be grateful she’s moved on from the school girl fantasy.” I sigh. “The skirt
was scratchy and I do not look good in plaid.” It takes a minute or two but he finally cracks.
An abrupt and single chuckle escapes his mouth which quickly turns into a full on burst of
laughter. Everyone is staring in disbelief and amazement as the guard struggles to regain his
composure.

Satisfied, I walk back over to Weaslette, a giant grin on my face.

“What did you say to him?” She asks as she continues to look at the guard who is now
pointing at the both of us.

“The specifics don’t matter, what does is that we have successfully completed another task.
What’s next?”
She takes out the pamphlet that we received when purchasing our clothing items. “Visit the
houses of parliament.” She reads.

I shake my head. “We’re going to have to skip that one.”

“Why’s that?”

“Let’s just say the day after I last visited the houses of parliament the flags were at half-
mast.”

“For the love of merlin Draco.” She groans. “Please tell me that’s the only place you defiled
with your murderous ways.”

“We should probably avoid St. Paul’s cathedral too.”

“You killed someone in a church?!”

“At least he died where he felt his God’s presence the most.” I shrug. “It’s very beautiful if
you look at it that way.”

Punching my arm and rolling her eyes she says “Come on, I know where we can go next. I’m
almost positive you’ve never stepped foot in this place let alone killed someone in it.”

–*–

“I don’t get it.” I state as I cross my arms and tilt my head to the side.

“What don’t you get?” She asks, clearly annoyed.

“The point. Why would anyone want a version of themselves made out of wax? And why
would people pay to see them? I mean who even are these wankers?” I ask as I poke the
cheek of one of them, quickly pulling my hand back as if it were about to turn its head and
bite me.

“These guys were in a band called The Beatles.” She tells me. “They’re the muggle
equivalent to Celestina Warbeck, status wise.”

“The Beatles? What a stupid name.” I scoff. “Did they dress as beetles when they
performed?”

“I don’t believe so.”

“Like I said, stupid name.”

–*–

After visiting a few more spots listed within the pamphlet we find ourselves sitting on the
edge of a fountain in Trafalgar Square. Being a tourist is exhausting.

“What time is it?”

I glance down at my watch and say “A quarter to 7.”

“Let me see that bloody thing.” Grabbing my wrist, she yanks my arm towards her. “Your
watch is seven minutes behind.”

“What? No it’s not.” I say, pulling my arm from her grasp.

“Yes it is, look.” Her arm raises and she points at the clock tower just ahead. Comparing the
two times I discover that she’s correct. Dammit. This thing was only 80 seconds delayed back
in Azkaban. “Perhaps you should look into getting–”

“No.” I cut her off. “I’m not getting a new one.”

“I wasn’t going to tell you to Draco.” Her voice soft. “I know she gave it to you. I was just
going to suggest getting it fixed.”

This is the first time I’ve thought about her in hours and I’ll have to admit, it was nice. She
has invaded my every thought since fifth – maybe even fourth year. I love her and I never
want to live a life where she isn’t on my mind but a break from the constant torment that is
knowing she doesn’t remember me has been nice to say the least. Today was meant to serve
several purposes. Get back out into the world I’ve been denied for the past three years, get
my mind off of the fact that my girl is with another man and fix freckles. I guess it’s time for
the latter.

“So what was it that made you so terrified of using magic?” I ask.

Her head snaps over to me, taken back by my question though the shock quickly turns into
anger. “I’m not terrified of using magic.” She argues.

“Okay, then what are you?”

“I just don’t see the need for it.”

“That’s because there isn’t one.” I reply which earns a confused look. “No one needs magic
but that doesn’t mean they’ll refuse to use it when convenient, such as using the floo.” I
explain. “What happened during the war that suddenly made you so opposed?”

Her head drops and she begins picking at her nails. I really hate that I know this witch well
enough to know that she’s anxious right now. Gods, when did I become such a soft little
bitch? Reaching over, I place my hand on top of hers.

“Come on Ginny, talk to me. I want to help.”

Her eyes search mine until she finds what she was looking for, sincerity.

“I just saw what magic did to people, how one could become so easily consumed by both it
and the desire for more.” She begins. “I lost Fred and a lot of my friends. Professors I once
had laid lifeless on cots and the same man who took them was also responsible for you being
sent away.” Her voice cracking as her eyes begin to fill with tears. “When Hermione returned
and we discovered the holes in her memory we began working to find a way to restore them.
We spent countless nights researching and even testing theories on her but nothing worked.
Remus and Harry are still working tirelessly to find some sort of answer but I–”

“You gave up.” I finish for her, she nods.

“It’s not that I think it’s a lost cause or that I don’t want to help, I just– it was my last straw I
guess, I finally hit my breaking point. All I could see was the downside of magic.”

I get it, I do. Her feelings and reasoning is valid but at the same time, pathetic and I tell her
that.

“I’m not pathetic!” She spits out defensively.

“I didn’t say you were pathetic, I said your reasoning is.” I clarify. “I mean seriously, come
on Ginny. Yeah, magic in the hands of the wrong sort can cause some shit things to happen
but why would you let those bastards strip you of something any of these muggles would kill
to have? If you repeat this, I will kill you… you’re an extraordinary person who deserves the
recognition for being so. There’s a fire in you that very few possess and if you’d just tap back
into that you’d go on to do great things. Stop letting things you had no control over ruin your
life. Hate to break it to you but you sustaining from using magic won’t stop others from using
it to harm others. In fact, that’s the sole reason I’m even able to sit here right now and say this
to you. Evil people are going to continue to be evil, that you have no control over. What you
do have is the ability to help stop them before something like the war happens again but you
can’t do that if you continue to deny yourself of the gift you were given the day you were
born.”

Reaching into my back pocket, I remove her wand and hold it out in front of her.

“How did you– Harry had been holding onto that for me.”

“Like I said, the twat needs to learn to be more aware of his surroundings.” Placing it in her
hands I say “You’ve had your fun playing house elf but now it’s time to be the witch Potter is
far undeserving of. I need my friend back.”

A smile creeps its way across her lips. “That’s the first time you ever referred to me as your
friend.”

“Yeah and it’ll be the last if you don’t wipe that stupid look off of your face.” I say as I
playfully shove her. “So what do you say freckles? Ready to kick some death eater arse
again?”

Her lips part and just as she’s about to say something a high pitched scream echoes from just
around the corner. We share a quick glance before shooting up to our feet and heading
towards the source. Turning down an alley, a young woman is crouched against the brick wall
while a tall figure dressed in black robes hovers over her.

Hero Draco saves the day again I guess.

Closing the gap between myself and the figure in three strides, I grab onto his shoulder just as
he raises his wand. “I was having a rather pleasant day, you know.” I say as I spin the person
around. “Let’s see what fuckwit decided to ruin that for me.” Ripping off the mask, I instantly
recognize the man. He was never of any importance within the Reformation but he was one
of the few who managed to successfully carry out any orders given to him. “Yucovitch, what
a terrible surprise it is to see you, still nothing more than a mindless soldier I see.”

“At least I’m not a blood traitor like you.” He snarls.

“Come on Yucovitch, you’ve had three years to think of an insult and yet all you have is
blood traitor? Boring and unoriginal.”

“How’s that little mudblood of yours?” A devious glint in his eyes. “Your love confession in
front of the Wizengamot will live on to be the most pathetic moment in pure-blood history.”

Instantly I see red and throw him up against the wall, his feet hovering above the ground as
my hand wraps tightly around his neck. I could’ve talked my way out of getting reprimanded
for my little day trip to London but if I do this, if I kill him, I’d most likely be shipped right
back to Azkaban.

“What’s the matter, Malfoy? Lost your homicidal touch?” He mocks. “Don’t tell me Azkaban
managed to break you like the rest.”

Fuck it.

My left hand latches onto his arm and twists. There’s a loud crack as his bone snaps in half
causing him to let out an agonized scream. “You of all people should know better than to
underestimate me, Yucovitch.” I sneer. My right hand is clamping down on his throat and I
can feel the bone about to break when there’s a sudden sharp pain in my ankle. My eyes dart
down to see the woman who was previously trembling in fear now digging a knife into my
leg. What a little bitch. This was a set up. Whoever it is the two of them work for knew I was
here. They wanted to lure me in here, but why? I don’t have time to ponder these questions
right now, there’s a fucking crazy lady burying a blade into me.
Lowering Yucovitch so that his feet are planted on the ground again, my fist meets his temple
and his body falls unconscious onto the ground. Bending down, I remove the dagger from my
ankle and just as I’m about to return the favor I hear “Stupefy!” shout from behind and then a
burst of light flies past me and slams into the woman’s chest. Looking over my shoulder, I
see Ginny with her wand still raised.

Approaching her, I carefully lower her arm and wait for her to blink. Once she finally does, I
say “Welcome back freckles, good to see you again.” She’s about to speak but is once again
cut off, this time it’s not by a scream but instead something far more annoying.

“What in Godrick’s name do you two think you’re doing? Do you know how much shit I’ve
been in since you failed to return to the office Malfoy?” He stops in his tracks once he spots
the two bodies on the ground and then his eyes widen even more when he notices the wand in
freckles’ hand. “What– what happened here?”

“We did your job for you, you’re welcome.” I grin, harshly patting his back. “Oh, I also
managed to help your girlfriend more in just a few hours than you have in years. So again I
say, you’re welcome.”

“You.” His eyes narrow as he steps towards me. “You went against ministry orders by
running off after your session with healer Nuttall.”

“Nuttall?” Freckles giggles.

“I know right? Dreadful fucking name.” I say to her. “And get this, his first name is Glenice.”

“Glenice?! His mother must’ve hated him.” She says.

“That’s what I said!”

“If you two are done.” Potter clips. “You’re in deep shit Malfoy and I don’t know if there’s
much I can do to help you.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“But I’ll do my best. That’s Yucovitch over there, is it not?”

“It is.”

“We’ve been tracking him since before your release so you apprehending him might help
your case.”

“Oh thank merlin.” I say with mock relief. He rolls his eyes at me before turning his attention
to freckles. He takes her face between his hands and immediately begins spewing out several
questions, most of which are asking if she’s okay.

“Yes Harry, I’m fine, I promise.” She assures him. “I’m actually better than fine. I did it, I
used magic again.”

“And you’re.. okay?”

“More than okay.” She smiles up at him. “I think I want to reach out to Remus about that job
offer.”

“Really?” He questions.

“Mhm.” Her head nodding. “A wise person told me that I’m an extraordinary person and that
even though I have no control over evil people doing evil things, I do have the ability to help
stop them. I want to do that. I want to help.”

Both of them are now looking at me and I want to take this knife and stab myself in the neck.

“Thank you, Malfoy.” Potter says.

Oh great, now I’m about to barf.

As he’s checking on the two unconscious death eaters, freckles walks up to me and nudges
me with her elbow.

“I told you if you repeated that I’d kill you, any last words?” I say, half joking as I flip the
knife in my hand.

“Thank you for knocking some sense into me Draco. I missed having you around, it wasn’t
the same without you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I say, messing up her hair. “I missed you too kid.”

Her arm snakes around my waist and for the second time in all the years we’ve known each
other, we hug.

“What happened to his arm?” Potter asks, ruining the moment.

“It was already like that when I got here.”

 Chapter 83

May 28 2001

"The girl still won't talk and Yucovitch won't shut up about wanting a lawyer." Potter groans
as he joins us in the conference room. "He's giving me a right headache with all of his
blabbering."

"Does anyone have any suggestions?" Lupin directs at the rest of us. The other aurors remain
silent, a few of them offer shrugs like the useless individuals they are while the rest pretend
to look through their notepads.

"We could cut his head off." I suggest. "That would get him to shut up."

"I meant in regards to the girl, Mr. Malfoy." Lupin says. He's been a bit cross with me ever
since freckles' and I's London adventure. I was met by a lengthy speech which primarily
consisted of "I'm very disappointed in you" and "Do you know what's at stake?" I understand
why he was upset but I think the whole thing was blown up far more than it needed to be. I
mean if we hadn't spent our day as tourists then we never would've caught Yucovitch and the
bint. If anything they should've thrown us a celebration of sorts. I've only been here for a few
days and have managed to do more than every auror combined.

"What if we–" Reid begins but is abruptly cut off by the door swinging open and a rather irate
Granger stepping into the room.

"Hermione, aren't you supposed to be at St. Mungos?" Lupin questions.

"Oh please Remus." She scoffs. "You should know that some pointless appointment with a
healer falls far below this case on my list of priorities. Were you planning on filling me in any
time soon or were you just going to let me continue sorting through paperwork like the quill-
pusher you've so desperately tried to keep me as?"

I'm starting to get the feeling that there's tension between Granger and basically every person
in this office. Personally, I love it. This woman is brilliant. She takes zero shit and if they get
offended then it only speaks to their weak character. Highly enjoying this moment, I lean
back into my seat and fold my hands behind my head as a smug look creeps its way onto my
face.

"Hermione, you know that my intentions are never to keep you out of the loop." Lupin sighs.

Her hand finds its way to her hip and her weight shifts to one side. "If that's true then you'll
have no problem debriefing me on the recent developments."

"Of course, if you'll just have a seat."

"I'm perfectly comfortable standing."

"Alright." Lupin is clearly struggling to keep his temper, it seems I'm not the only one who
has been giving him a hard time lately. He goes on to explain all of the information that we
currently have on the situation which isn't very much if I do say so myself. Sure we have two
death eaters in custody but what good are they really? I still think we should just dispose of
them now and continue on, that is the whole reason I'm here isn't it? Execute the remaining
death eaters for the ministry?

"And what is the plan for moving forward?" Granger asks.

"We're still trying to produce one. If you have any ideas we're all ears."

"Actually, I do." She states as she reaches into her bag, removes a folder and drops it onto the
table in front of him. "Malfoy and I's meeting with Mr. Parkinson didn't provide much but it
was enough to give me an idea of where to start. After cross referencing the original death
eater files and victims with the newest regime's I believe their next attack will take place in
Kingsgate."

Lupin is flipping through the rather thick folder and nodding his head. "Why Kingsgate?"

"The first known attacks took place there and it was the most common location that they
would be spotted. I'd even go as far to say that Kingsgate was home to one of their first
bases."

Now Lupin's attention is on me. "Is this true?"

"Yeah." I casually reply. "It's where my first day of training took place and where Greyback
and Dolohov had me meet them for any assignment updates."

"Do you have an estimate on when this said attack will happen?" He directs at Granger.

"Based on the pattern they've been following so far I'd say in two weeks."

"Very well, we will send a small team out to Kingsgate in two weeks time then. In the
meantime, I want us to continue trying to pry any and all information from our new guests."

"Remus." Granger takes a step towards him. "I would like to take the lead on this assignment.
I was after all the one who brought forth the information."

He takes a moment to think it over but, just like everyone else in the room, he knows that
saying no is not an option. Her tone may have been professional and carry a friendly tune but
the look in her eyes clearly states "If you say anything but yes, I will hex you." This
commanding side of her is irritatingly arousing.

"Okay." He nods. "But I'd like for you to go undergo training from Mr. Malfoy."

"Training? I don't need any training, I already passed my dueling assessment for the year."
She argues.

"I understand Hermione but these individuals don't fight like most, they use physical combat
and seeing as Mr. Malfoy trained a majority of the lot, he's the best suited for preparing you
for such."

It's evident she wants to argue further but in the end she decides against doing so. The
meeting is wrapped and as I exit the room a hand grabs onto my arm and drags me to the
side. "I don't need your help Malfoy." She bites out. They need to get new lighting in this
place, the fluorescent bulbs that line the ceiling highlight the gold flakes in her eyes which
makes it nearly impossible to focus on anything else, including whatever it is she just said to
me.

"Did you hear me?" She asks.

"No." I admit, still transfixed by her eyes, the very eyes that are looking into mine. She's
looking at me, I mean really looking at me and I feel myself turning into a fucking puddle
with every second that passes.

She lets out an aggravated groan before saying "I said I don't need your help."

She's so beautiful.

"I'm perfectly capable of handling this case..."

"I know."

"... and I certainly don't need– wait, what?" Her eyebrows knit together as she processes what
I just said.

"I said I know, Granger. I'm not here to undermine you."

You'd think I just told her that all house elves had been set free based on the way she's
looking at me right now. Pure and utter shock. It's moments like these where I'm confused the
most by my own emotions. Part of me loves watching as I slowly break down all of the
misconceptions of the evil human she believes I am but a bigger part hurts. It's a reminder
that even though she's alive, I still lost her. All I want is to be around her but it's fucking
painful. I meant what I said to freckles, I'm going to be here for her, whatever she needs of
me I'll do and discovering these new quirks of hers and getting to know the woman she has
become over the last three years is intoxicating but gods I just want my girl back.

She clears her throat and adjusts her posture, her shoulders relaxing and attack mode turning
off.

"We'll meet in the training room at 3, understood?"

"Whatever you say, Granger."

3:10 pm

"You're late." She scolds.

Checking my watch and comparing the time to the clock on the wall I discover the damn
thing is now ten minutes behind. Great. If Granger hates one thing the most it's tardiness.
Unlike back at Hogwarts, I wasn't trying to be a prat by showing up late but now that I think
back on it, my lack of punctuality sort of worked in my favor.

"Ten minutes won't kill you Granger, I'm here now aren't I?" I smirk.

Rolling her eyes at me like she often would back at school, she steps over to the padded mat
in the center of the room and motions for me to join her. As much as I loathe taking orders
from Lupin, I am quite looking forward to this particular one. Training Granger in physical
combat entails both spending one on one time and also being physically close to her, all
things that I'm a massive fan of.

"How does this work?" She asks. "I'm assuming wands are to be discarded."

"You would be correct, ten points to Gryffindor Miss Granger." She's trying really hard to
look annoyed but I can see the slight satisfaction she gained from my house points remark.
This woman loves being correct and receiving any sort of recognition for it and I'll gladly be
the one to provide such things. "Hit me." I instruct as I fold my hands behind my back.

"What?"

"I know you heard me, you're not deaf. Hit me, show me what you got."

She hesitates for a moment but takes a swift step forward and swings her right arm around. I
casually lean to the left and completely avoid her fist. Adjusting her stance, she swings her
right arm again and then her left, each attempt failing to make contact with any part of my
body. Growing impatient and aggravated, her form becomes increasingly sloppier. Her left
knuckle is headed straight for the side of my jaw when I grab her wrist. She lets out a sharp
inhale as I pull her into me, our faces close enough that I can feel the warmth of her breath
dance across my skin.

"You can't let your emotions take over, love." I tell her. "Keep your focus on the task at hand,
don't allow your opponent's arrogance to throw you off. Be patient, everyone has a weak spot.
Tire them out until you manage to locate it and then once you do, strike." Her eyes travel
down to my lips as she wets her own. My jaw clenches as I fight back the urge to kiss her
right now. Releasing my hold on her, I clear my throat and take a step back.

"Right, let's try that again."

May 30 2001

"Honestly Malfoy, what's the point in wearing a watch if you refuse to actually use the
bloody thing?" She scoffs as I enter the training room.

"Relax, I'm only three minutes late today."

"Still late." She argues.

"How about we channel that anger into something productive." I suggest, dropping a bag on
the ground.

Her brow quirks before bending down and zipping it open, her eyes widening as she takes
note of the contents within. "Do I even want to know how you managed to get your hands on
this many knives?" She asks.

"Probably not."

She takes a few minutes to sift through them all and eventually picks one out, the particular
knife causing me to chuckle. I try my best to cover my reaction up with a cough but I'm not
successful.

"What's so funny?"

That's the knife you once asked me to drag across your bare skin.

"Nothing." I lie. "As you're aware, the death eaters were trained to use weapons like the one
in your hand rather than their wands. I'm not saying you need to use the same approach but
understanding their strategy will highly benefit you. Unlike magic, this type of fighting style
requires the individual to rely on stealth to sneak up on their target. Movements are swift,
fluid and if done correctly, will seemingly come out of nowhere."

As she looks down at the knife she's holding I step around and position myself behind her. "I
still don't understand why they-" Her sentence comes to a halt as my left arm wraps around
her chest and my right hand holds a blade to her neck.

"What did I say about staying focused, love?" I whisper. I can feel her heart rate increasing
and listen as her breaths become more unsteady. She tries to squirm out from my hold, her
backside brushing up against my crotch which makes me instantly pull away. As much as I
would've preferred to keep her body pressed against mine, I don't think her feeling how hard I
am right now would end well for me. It makes me want to vomit thinking about it but she is
technically spoken for. I hate it but I am going to respect it.

May 31 2001

As I step in the room I immediately raise my hand just as her lips begin to part.

"Save the speech Granger. I know, I'm late."

"Well at least you're self aware." She mocks.

We both kick our shoes off and as we're stepping onto the mat I say "This time it wasn't my
fault. I was actually on track to be here right at 3 today but I got cornered by that receptionist
on my way down."

"Which one?"
"Fuck if I know. Blonde, sounds like she constantly has a cold." I explain as I gesture for her
to begin.

Her eyes narrow and her entire energy shifts as she lunges at me. If I didn't know any better
I'd say this witch was actually trying to kill me just now. Smacking her arm as I step to the
side to avoid the tip of the blade, she spins on her heels and charges for me again, swinging
the knife around and directly for my throat.

"Granger, I didn't realize I'd have to remind you of this but I'm not actually your enemy."
Ignoring my statement, she rushes at me again and for once manages to perfectly execute
everything I've been trying to get her to do the past few days. Sweeping my feet out from
under me and pushing back on my chest with her left hand, I fall back onto the mat. Her legs
straddle my torso as she digs the edge of her knife into my throat.

Gods I'm in love with this woman.

"As much as the idea of my demise being at the hands of Hermione Granger turns me on,
might I ask what suddenly has your knickers in such a twist? Surely my tardiness isn't what
provoked such hostility." Her eyes are consumed by hatred and if I were daft enough to
believe it, jealousy. Gently wrapping my fingers around her wrist, I slowly lower the knife.
She tries to fight back and even though she may have managed to catch me off guard, I'm still
far stronger than she is.

"It's me Granger." My voice soft as I take the knife from her hand. "It's just me." Realization
flashes in her eyes and she shoots up and off of my lap.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- I don't know why I just-"

"It's okay." I assure her as I sit up. "What's going on?"

"I don't think you want to hear it." She tells me as she brushes her hair out of her face.

"Try me."

"The blonde receptionist who sounds like she constantly has a cold is Val." Ah, the infamous
Val. I was wondering when the time would come where I'd figure out why Granger seems to
hate the witch so much. "She spends more time flirting with everyone in the office than
actually doing her bloody job." She continues. I'm still failing to see what caused this woman
to be a topic that makes her to go into full on killing mode. "When Ron visited me at the
office one day.." Nope. She's right, I don't want to fucking hear this. "She was all over him
which only became increasingly worse every time after. At the Christmas party she was
practically sitting in his lap and now she's even taking it upon herself to flirt with you! I mean
I guess I should have seen that coming seeing as ever since your file was handed out in the
office she wouldn't shut up about you."

Okay, now I'm listening again.

"Val would insert herself into every conversation that involved your arrival. She'd go on and
on about how she couldn't wait to meet you and how she bet that you were even more
handsome in person."

"And what was the verdict?" I question.

"The verdict on what?"

"If I'm more handsome in person or not."

"Yes-I mean no- the girls- it was unanimously decided that you are, yes."

"I see." I grin. Her cheeks are the most delightful shade of red right now. Some might say I'm
a dick for what I'm about to ask but she's the one who brought it up in the first place so I
think it's only fair that I get to ask some follow up questions. "Why does it bother you so
much?"

"Why does what bother me so much?"

"Val and her flirting. I mean I can understand why her batting her eyes up at Weaslebee might
set you off, though it shouldn't, you're far superior both physically and intellectually. If any
man were given the choice of being with you or any other witch in the entire world, I can tell
you right now that they would choose you. What I'm asking is, why does Val fancying me
upset you to such a high degree that you went on to nearly cut my throat open?" Her hand
finds it's way to her mouth and teeth begin biting down on the tip of her nails. Reaching over,
I gently remove her hand from her face and say "Come on Granger, don't go quiet on me
now."

She lets out a deep breath. "For the last three years I've constantly been told about memories
that I have no recollection of. Memories of you and I. Based off of what Harry, Remus and
Ginny have told me and the way they spoke about it, I can tell that there was a lot of love we
had for one another. They showed me everything that they had, which wasn't very much but
they did show me a letter I wrote. Apparently it's the one that Harry read at your trial."

Now it's my heart that's racing. I'm trying my best to appear calm but my mind is spiraling
right now. She read it, she read what she wrote about me and I know it's fucking stupid but
this news combined with how upset she got about Val showing interest in me gives me hope.
Even if she doesn't technically remember me maybe her heart does. Maybe subconsciously
everything is still there and all I need to do is bring it forward.

"It was really hard to hear at first." She continues. "It was a mix of emotions. I was angry that
everyone seemed to remember a rather big part of my life except me and I was confused. All
I had were clippings from the daily prophet and your file, I couldn't understand how I was
with someone so cruel." The knife that's been lodged in my heart ever since the first time I
saw her was just twisted again. "I'll be honest, I tried to deny it for a really long time but
eventually I accepted it. There was no reason for any of my friends to lie to me about such a
thing and after the last few days I am starting to see that there's maybe more sides to you than
I thought." Her head drops and she looks down at her hands. "I guess a part of me was just
angry that Val was not only trying to dig her nails into my current boyfriend but also my
former one too." I really wish I never asked that stupid question.
I don't want to be her former anything. I want to be the one that she comes home to after a
long day and vents to about whoever annoyed her in the office but instead I seem to have
found myself in a position where I get to listen as she talks about some other witch hitting on
her current man. Fuck, am I in the friendzone? Is that what we are? Friends? I swear if she
uses that word with me I will jump off the top of this building.

"Anyways, it's stupid of me to have acted that way and not appropriate." She says. "I'm sorry,
I shouldn't have crossed the line like that."

Please continue crossing the line with me, it's all I want.

"It's fine Granger. Besides, you finally showed enough understanding and skill for me to tell
Lupin that combat wise, you're ready for next week's mission."

The last hour of our training was pretty pointless seeing as I was an utterly useless trainer. All
I could think about was the fact that she had read the letter and her words kept replaying in
my head like a broken record. "Eventually I accepted it." Like what the fuck? How can she
talk about coming to terms with our relationship like it was some terminal illness she was
diagnosed with? And how long did it take her between doing that before she found herself in
the arms of gingerfuck? And then she gets all pissy about some random witch whose name I
never even bothered to learn finding me attractive? This is pure bull shit.

Still, I hold onto the hope that she's going to come back to me. Not even Pansy, the world's
most jealous witch, ever got that angry about another woman talking to me. Granger's
feelings for me are still in there somewhere, I just know it. Maybe she was able to easily push
them down when I wasn't around but now that I am here, perhaps it's become more difficult.
For now I'm sticking to the original plan, be there for Granger. I know she's a generous
person but eventually she'll grow tired of her charity work with Weaslebee and when she
does, I'll be right here waiting. I'll be ready to show her the type of man and love she
deserves.

"Again I'm sorry about earlier." She apologizes as we're leaving the training room.

"Like I said, it's fine, truly."

"Okay, good." Her lips curling up into a smile causing me to slightly trip over my own feet.
Gods I'm such a weak man when it comes to her. "So I'll see you the same time tomorrow?"
She asks.

I shake my head. "I have a date."

Her smile instantly falls and she stops in her tracks. "A- a date?"

"With a man."

"A man?!" Her eyes widen and jaw falls slack.

"Yeah, it's getting pretty serious. He even tried to shake my hand last time but I told him that
I don't put out like that."
"Malfoy I didn't realize- wait." Her shoulders dropping and hand finding its way to her hip.
"Are you talking about your mind healer?"

"Shhh Granger, keep your voice down." I whisper as I pretend to check our surroundings.
"You know patient relationships are forbidden."

Rolling her eyes, she tries to fight back a smile as she playfully shoves me. My entire body
fills with warmth and a static-like feeling that I believe the muggles refer to as butterflies as
her laugh fills the corridor. I would do unspeakable things to hear this sound for the rest of
my life.

"I'll see you in the office tomorrow Malfoy."

"Looking forward to it, Granger."

 Chapter 84
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

June 1 2001

I could get used to this whole “auror” thing. I don’t know why anyone ever complains about
working, this shit is so easy. I come into the office, coffee is already made and there’s free
food. As I enter the break room, I pour myself a cup of coffee and whip up some tea for
Granger. Just as I’m about to leave I stop by the treats table to collect my usual raspberry
scone when suddenly, anger floods my body. Marching into the main room, I cross the entire
length of the office and find myself in Lupin’s doorway.

“Morning, did you receive my note– what’s the problem?” He asks as he takes notice of my
expression.

“Whoever is in charge of the scones needs to be fired.” I tell him.

“And why is that?”

“There’s only blueberry this morning.”

He sets down his quill, removes his glasses and leans back into his chair. “Would you mind
telling me why this would warrant someone being let go?”

“Because it throws off my entire day!” I exclaim, irritated that he isn’t understanding how big
of a deal this is. “Every morning I get my cup of coffee and enjoy a raspberry scone while
Potter goes on about who knows what. Now here I am, coffee in hand and no raspberry
scone!”

“What’s wrong with having a blueberry one?” He questions.

“The problem is that it’s not raspberry. Honestly Lupin, how you’re still failing to see the
issue here speaks volumes.”

He lets out a soft chuckle and gets up from his chair. Making his way around his desk, he sits
on the edge and crosses his arms.

“I see you also have another cup in your hand. If I’m not mistaken it’s ginger chai with..” He
takes a moment to sniff the air before continuing. “Honey. Hermione’s favorite is it not?”
How astute, must be the canine senses.

“Don’t ask me questions with obvious answers Lupin.” I scoff. “And don’t try to change the
subject. So, how are you going to deal with the fuckwit who handles the scones? Might I
suggest transfiguring them into a rat and offering them up to the owls down in the mail
room?”
“As reasonable and valid your feelings are, I don’t believe you would want me to do that.”

“And why not? You really need to get this whole idea that I care for others out of your head. I
may be a reformed man but I’m still me, which means I’m still very much without a
conscience.”

“Because your daily morning treats aren’t ministry provided, an employee takes it upon
themselves to bring them in.” He tells me.

“Okay? I’m still not seeing why I would be against the previously mentioned.”

“The employee is Hermione, Draco.”

Fuck.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He says, patting my shoulder. “You really should give the
blueberry a shot, it’s quite delicious.”

“I hate blueberry.” I mutter under my breath before turning and exiting his office.

This is terrible. How am I supposed to live knowing that the woman I love would do
something this horrific? There must be some mistake, perhaps she was running late and asked
someone else to pick them up this morning. Yeah, that has to be it. There’s no
way my Granger would do something like this to me.

As I’m closing in on her desk I rehearse several different ways to casually bring up the troll
in the room. “Hey Granger, here’s your tea. By the way, did you happen to slip and hit your
head this morning because that’s the only reasonable explanation as to why you would do
such a vile thing like get blueberry.” No, that’s too harsh. “Morning Granger, I got you some
tea. Also, do you really hate me that much that you would do something so fucked–”

“Good morning Malfoy.” Her voice dances in the air.

“Er– morning, Granger.”

“Oh,” Her eyes flitting down to the two mugs in my hands. “A bit parched are we?”

I extend my left arm out. “For you.”

Carefully, she retrieves the cup and brings it up to her nose. Her eyes closing and lips lifting
up into a smile as she takes in the scent. “Mm, ginger chai, my favorite. Thank you.”
Opening her drawer, she removes a small jar of honey.

“I already added it.” I inform her.

Her brow lifts. “You did?”

I nod. “And don’t worry, I didn’t use that overly processed junk that’s in the cabinets. One
spoonful of unfiltered and unpasteurized honey, not stirred of course.”
“You just carry around raw honey?” She questions.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I make Potter keep it in his briefcase.”

She’s saying something about how muggles have been known to use honey to treat burns but
all I can focus on is the blueberry scone sitting on the corner of her desk. I’m trying so hard
to bite my tongue but I just can’t anymore.

“Is that yours?” I blurt out.

“Is what mine?” I tip my head in the direction of the abomination and her eyes follow the
path to the corner of her desk. “The scone?” She asks, I nod. “Yes, why? Were there not any
left? I tried to get enough for everyone but I forgot to account for our visitors today.”

This is the worst day of my life.

I’m not trying to be rude but if I stick around any longer I don’t think I’ll be able to stop
myself from saying things that I know for a fact I will regret. Turning, I walk away without a
word. Approaching Potter’s desk, I slump down into my seat and take a sip of my coffee.

“There you are.” Potter says. “Where’s your scone?”

I wince at the question and hold up my hand. “Don’t say the s word to me, not today.”

“Alright?” He says, clearly confused. “Anyway, do you have everything ready for this
morning’s meeting?”

“Meeting? What meeting?” I question.

“The one with the Magical Duma. Didn’t you receive Lupin’s note?”

“Can’t say I did, this is the first I’m hearing of it. Why are the dum-arses even here?”

Potter shushes me and looks around, making sure that no one heard my rather clever
nickname.

“Can you at least try to not be a prat today?” He requests.

“Any other day I’d consider it but this morning is already off to a rough start for me. You
didn’t answer my question by the way.”

Removing his glasses, he runs his hand down his face. The only time I’ve seen him this
stressed out was the other day when we walked into his flat and he realized he forgot to pick
up the chicken freckles had asked him to get on the way home.

Putting his glasses back on and pushing them up the bridge of his nose he says “They’re here
to discuss the death eaters, specifically Yucovitch.”

“Makes sense.” I shrug, taking another sip of my coffee.

“It does?” He asks.

“Yeah, Yucovitch’s father works for the Magical Duma.”

“And you didn’t feel like that was necessary information to disclose?”

“No.”

“Malfoy.” He groans.

“Potter.” I reply, mimicking his tone.

“You should have told us!”

“You didn’t ask!” I retort.

Giving up, he falls back into his chair and massages his temples. He needs to learn to relax,
it’s not that big of a deal. Maybe he’s really just upset about the absence of raspberry scones
this morning like I am, if that’s the case then I completely understand.

The next hour is spent with Potter frantically trying to gather the proper documents while I go
about my usual duties – absolutely nothing with the occasional glance across the room at
Granger. It was a pretty painful task but once she finished off the rancid scone it became far
easier. Everyone in the office seems rather on edge, everyone besides myself that is. I don’t
understand the reasoning for such an increase of stress. So what if a couple of Russian
ministry members are here today? Personally I think the fear of them is nonsensical. First of
all, they hold no jurisdiction here. Secondly, there isn’t a single intimidating factor about
them. If the language barrier is what frightens my frail colleagues then they mustn’t have
done their due diligence on me. I’m fluent in several languages, Russian being one of them.

As we’re heading to the conference room, Potter looks like he’s a few seconds away from
wetting his pants and the always so smug Reid even looks like he’s on the verge of being
sick. Pathetic. Granger, of course, confidently enters the room and finds her seat, not a single
shred of concern or anxiety in sight. She’s organizing the several folders in front of her when
Lupin enters the room, two men dressed in brown robes following closely behind.

“If you’ll please take a seat, we’ll get started in just a moment.” Lupin informs them. Reid
shifts in his seat, attempting to appear taller as he rolls his shoulders back and lifts his chin
slightly while they settle into the chairs beside him. What a blockhead. I pay no mind to the
two men sitting across from me and instead focus on Granger’s fingers which are currently
straightening the two quills in front of her.

Lupin starts the meeting off with a quick debriefing on where we currently are on the
dismantling of the new death eater regime. Potter then takes over and explains the situation
with Yucovitch and the girl, whose name is apparently Dara. Once he’s finished with his little
presentation, Granger stands and walks to the head of the table.

“It’s a delight to have you both with us today.” She directs at the two men who offer no
pleasantries in return. Strike one. “As you’ve been informed, this new regime has been
following the same pattern as the original death eaters.” She continues on to explain how
after a careful analysis of previous attacks she was able to pinpoint where they will strike
next but the two men aren’t listening. Instead, they’re whispering to one another. Strike two. I
couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to what they were saying before but since whatever it is
seems to be far more important than what Granger has to say, I tune in.

“Eta ved'ma nadoyela mne do smerti.” The fatter man groans.

“Yesli by tol'ko yeye top byl chut' nizhe, vozmozhno, togda mne bylo by interesno, chto ona
govorit.” The ugly one states causing them both to chuckle.

“Yubka dovol'no krasivaya, ideal'no oblegayet yeye izgiby.” The first one adds.

Their eyes are scanning up and down Granger’s body as they continue to objectify her in
their native tongue. Strike three. Yeah, this isn’t going to work for me.

“Kto-nibud' iz vas tsenit svoyu zhizn'?” I question.

The fat one's eyes snap over to me, appalled that I’d speak to him in such a manner.

“Izvinite menya? Ty znayesh' kto ya?” He snarls.

“Mne vse ravno kto ty.” I reply. “V kontse kontsov, tvoye imya ne budet imet' znacheniya,
yesli ty prodolzhish' govorit' o miss Granger kak eto.” Leaning forward, my eyes narrowing, I
say “Proyavi k ney takoye zhe uvazheniye, inache ya razrezhu tebya i otpravlyu tvoi
vnutrennosti v chto by ni bednaya zhenshchina zhdet tebya doma.”

“Ty polon der'ma.” He says, shooting up to his feet.

“Ispytay menya, zhirnyy ublyudok.” I spit back as I also get up from my seat.

Lupin rushes forward. “Gentlemen please, if we could just settle down.” He requests but
neither of us back down. Potter is now standing and trying to drag me back into my seat but I
hold my ground. It’s not until I hear the one thing that has always managed to get me to step
away, my name, her saying my name. At first I thought I was just imagining it but then I hear
it again.

“Draco.” My name rolling off the tip of her tongue just like it used to. My jaw tightens and
I’m trying so hard to not give in, I can’t let this wanker think he won but then I feel a hand on
my shoulder and I know it’s her. “Draco, look at me.” My eyes shift from the pair in front of
me and over to the ones beside me, to hers. “It’s okay.” She tells me. “Just let it go and sit
back down.”

They were disrespecting you, Granger. They were treating you like an object. You don’t
deserve that, you deserve respect.

Her hand moves from my shoulder and down to my hand. My stomach drops at the physical
contact and bodily functions that usually take no thought, like breathing, now seem
impossible.
“It’s okay.” She repeats. “Please, calm down.”

“Okay.” I whisper, though I didn’t intend for it to come out that way, it was merely a result of
every muscle in my body tensing because she held my hand – she’s still holding my hand. It’s
such an innocent, and most likely meaningless, action to her but to me, it’s everything. It
feels like every inch of my body is on fire in the best possible way and the way she’s looking
at me right now, the way she’s saying my name. I can see it, I can feel it. The woman who
loves me is still in there and right now she’s presenting herself, whether Granger is aware of
it or not.

Lupin manages to calm the two fucktards down and the meeting proceeds. Granger finishes
her presentation and this time the two men actually pay attention, a wise choice. Once she’s
wrapped her part I’m asked a few questions in regards to how I plan to handle the death eater
situation, specifically Yucovitch.

“In a perfect world his neck would've been split open the second I spotted him.” I informed
them which didn’t go over well, they were promptly assured that we would not be using that
approach. Boring. Near the end of the meeting, the true reason as to why the two of them are
here comes to light. Apparently Yucovitch’s father wants a full pardon granted and for us to
release him into their custody. Lupin was smart for once and denied the request, of course he
was far nicer and diplomatic than I would’ve been.

It took awhile but eventually they came to an agreement. No harm would come to Yucovitch
and once he provides us with any useful information on the remaining death eaters we’ll hand
him over. I still think we should kill him, he ruined my day off. Lupin escorts the men out
leaving Reid, Potter, Granger and myself alone in the conference room.

“That went better than expected.” Reid says, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Your entire shirt is drenched in sweat, are you aware of that?” I ask. Granger lets out a small
giggle but promptly clears her throat and apologizes when Reid glances over at her.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be, Malfoy,” Potter says.

“I still have..” Lifting my watch to check the time. “Fifteen minutes and it takes less than half
of that to get there.”

“Actually, you only have three.” He informs me.

“You really should get a new one.” Granger adds. “What’s the point in wearing a watch that
doesn’t even tell you the correct time?”

Per usual, Potter completely fails at the art of subtlety when it comes to his facial expression.
His eyes are practically popping out from his hideous face.

“What?” She asks, confused by his reaction.

“Ignore him.” I tell her. “He probably just realized that he forgot his anniversary with
freckles.”
“Anniversary?” He questions.

Rolling my eyes, I look over at him and ask “What day is it Potter?”

“Friday.”

“The actual date you numpty.”

“June fir… oh shit.” It’s like he’s just been slapped across the face as he falls back into his
chair and runs his hand through his hair. “It’s our anniversary and I completely forgot.”

“How could you forget your anniversary Harry?” Granger scolds.

“I don’t– I don’t know.” His voice growing more frantic with each word. “I was just so busy
with work and making sure everything was prepared for this meeting. It must’ve just slipped
my– oh gods what do I do?!”

“The shops down the street are still open and if you hurry you might be able to still get a
reservation at the Italian restaurant she loves.” Granger suggests.

“Right.” Smacking his hands down on the table as he stands. “Tell Remus that I’ve left early
for the day– wait, Malfoy.”

“I know Potter, you’re welcome.” I smirk.

“No, not that you tosser.” He scoffs, smacking my arm. “I’m supposed to collect you after
your appointment. You’ve lost the privilege of finding your way back on your own after your
last excursion, remember?”

How could I forget? I thought Hillman being referred to as my babysitter in Azkaban was
insulting but this is a whole new level. I'm sure if Potter could get clearance he’d put an
actual leash on me. It’s like the bloke doesn’t trust me or something. Ridiculous.

“I can do it.” Granger volunteers.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

Snapping my eyes up at Potter, I give him a look that says “I swear to merlin if you don’t
fucking agree I will strangle you in your sleep.” My message must’ve been received loud and
clear because he does in fact agree before rushing out of the room and thanking her once
more for covering for him.

This day is slowly beginning to turn around.

-*-
“I was notified of your recent adventure, Mr. Malfoy.” Glenice says as he swings his right leg
over his left. “Many people at the ministry believe you were trying to run away.”

“Glenice.” I sigh. “May I call you Glenice?”

“I’d prefer if you didn’t–”

“Great.” I say, cutting him off. “Glenice, you and I both know if that were the case I wouldn’t
be sitting across from you right now.”

He stares at me for a moment before speaking, a pattern of his I caught onto rather quickly
during our first session. I think he believes that his pause will somehow get me to spill my
deepest darkest secrets. The more I partake in therapy the more confused I become by the fact
that they’re the highest paid employees at the ministry, after the minister himself that is.
Glenice should be paying me for gracing him with my presence, I know it’s the best part of
his week.

“What was the true reason for you not returning to the office after our last session then?” He
asks.

“I needed to stretch my legs.”

“Mr. Malfoy, set aside the snark for just a few minutes. There are many people within the
ministry who are eagerly waiting for you to misstep so that they may condemn you to a life in
Azkaban. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t believe that’s the type of future you have
envisioned for yourself.”

Oh great, he’s doing the thing again. The thing where he acts like he knows what I do and
don’t want. What’s even more irritating is that he’s right, at least in this instance. At first I
wouldn’t have given a rat’s arse about whether or not I stared at the same four walls for the
rest of my life but that was before I saw her, before I knew that she was alive. And after
today, after she spoke my name and touched me like she used to years ago, I’ll do whatever it
takes to stay here, to stay in her life.

“Lupin went off on an entire tangent about how lucky I was to be out, to be a free man.” I
begin. “I can see how from his perspective I’m such but I disagree.”

“Disagree with what? About you being a free man?” He questions. “Why wouldn’t you
consider yourself to be free?”

“Because I’m not.” I simply state, leaning back into the chair. “There’s more rules here than
there were in Azkaban and while I may not be locked in a physical cell anymore, I’m still a
prisoner. My perimeters have just increased.. barely.”

“You know what I’m going to ask next.”

“Yeah, yeah. How does that make me feel?” I groan. “It makes me feel like shit Glenice. I
understand that Lupin and even Potter think they’ve done something amazing for me and I
guess on the one hand they have but on the other they’ve completely fucked me up. I mean I
was doing fine in Azkaban when I received word of my release. I had accepted losing her, I
was surviving. Do you know how long it took for me to get to that point?”

No response, just a stare. Of course.

“Years. It took me years.” I continue. “I appreciate them giving a shit about me and
continuing to work on finding a way to get me out but sometimes I find myself wishing
they’d just left me there. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fucking grateful that she’s not dead but
now I’m having to grieve her in a different way. She may not be dead but the girl who curled
up in my arms every night, who launched herself at me the second I walked in the door and
wrote that letter… that girl is dead. And to make matters even worse, I think I royally fucked
myself and somehow ended up in the friendzone. At least I think I did, there was a moment
today that has me reassessing that.”

“A moment?” He questions as he lifts a brow.

“Don’t get too excited Glenice, it wasn’t anything to write in your diary about but it was
enough to completely derail me.” I go on to explain everything that happened during the
meeting. From the men disrespecting her with not only their words but also their eyes, to the
friendly conversation I had with them as a result and ending it off with Granger saying my
name and holding my hand.

“Oh, she also volunteered to be the one to ‘collect’ me after our little play date today since
Potter is not only an incompetent human being in general but even more so as a lover.”

“You said the way she acted today greatly reflected how she used to?” Glenice asks as he
leans forward, curiosity written in the wrinkles of his forehead as his eyebrows pull together.

“Don’t try to psychoanalyze me and say that I’m looking into it too much, I know what I
saw.”

He shakes his head and removes his glasses. “I’m not trying to do that at all.” He assures me.
“It’s just– what do you believe sparked such a moment?”

I have never heard this man speak with such eagerness. Usually his sentences are drawn out,
much like the late Professor Snape, I hope he’s resting peacefully with his unrequited lover.

“Old habits die hard.” I shrug. “Who is she if she’s not having to stop me from killing
someone at least a handful of times per week. It was sort of our thing.”

“Except it’s not, at least not anymore.”

What a dick. I’m about to take this gaudy decorative bowl that’s beside me and smash it over
the top of his head.

“What I meant was, yes, that was your thing a few years ago, when she still had her
memories of you.” He explains.
“Was that meant to sound better than your previous statement? Because it didn’t. In fact, it
only angered me even more.”

“What I’m trying to get at is–”

“Yes, do try to get to the point already, Glenice. I believe our time is running low.”

“You say old habits die hard which has some validity behind it but not in cases of memory
loss, at least not severe ones.” He begins. “The fact that she knew exactly what to do in order
to get you to calm down and step away without anyone instructing her suggests a possibility
that–”

“No.” I snap, raising my hand. “Don’t do that, don’t give me false hope. I’m already pathetic
enough as it is when it comes to this situation.”

“It’s not meant to provide false hope, Mr. Malfoy. Just a new path to possibly explore.”

What’s with his sudden interest in Granger and I? Specifically, the holes in her memory. I
thought his job was to make sure I didn’t go on some murder spree or off myself. There’s
something else going on here, something he’s not telling me and I’m going to figure out what
it is. Taking a note from his book, I cross my arms and tilt my head to the side as I stare and
wait for him to continue on with his rambling.

My tactic must’ve worked because he goes on to say “Over the last three years Miss Granger
has shown no evidence of her lost memories resurfacing, not until now, not until you arrived.
I don’t know why no one ever considered the fact that the key to it all could be the person
whom she had seemed to have forgotten in the first place.”

Wait a damn minute.

“Hold on.” I say, raising my hand to stop him before he carries on with his babbling. “Why
are you speaking like you have personal insight on her case? It almost sounds as if– are you
her fucking healer?!”

“I–” Whatever weak lie he was about to give me is interrupted by the aggravating noise of the
timer. This time it’s me on the receiving end of a rather curt send off. Nuttface is practically
pushing me out the door while he mumbles that he’ll see me at the same time next week.

“You better believe I’ll be bringing this up next session Glenice!” I shout as he slams the
door in my face. What an ill-bred prick, I bet 50 galleons he was a Gryffindor. I’ve just
kicked the bottom of his door when Granger approaches me.

“Woah, what did that door ever do to you?” She teases.

“It got shut in my face is what.” I scoff. “It’s the man behind it who I actually want to kick
though. Tell me Granger, you don’t happen to know Glenice by any chance?”

“Glenice?” Her brow quirking. “Can’t say I’ve ever met a Glenice.”

Interesting.
“Why do you ask?”

“The decrepit twat said something that made me think that maybe– you know what?
Nevermind, it doesn’t matter. I’ll just ask him about it during our next meeting, leave the
attitude behind next time!” I shout, kicking his door once more. There's a muffled groan that
comes from inside his office, informing me that he heard me.

“If you’re done damaging ministry property.” She says. “Might we head back to the office?”

5:50 pm

I've reorganized Potter's desk in a way I know he'll hate and bothered Lupin once every half
hour but all I can think about is the stupid old man and what he had said. There's no way he's
Granger's healer right? I mean I vividly remember Lupin saying that she goes to St. Mungos
for her treatments but still, I can't shake the feeling that he has something to do with her case
and if he does why wouldn't he just tell me? I really thought he and I had something.

The last three hours felt like they went on for an eternity but eventually the clock strikes six
and everyone wraps up their work and heads out for the night. I'm still sat at Potter's desk, my
feet propped as I lean back and toss a small foam ball up in the air. The office is quiet and the
lights have been dimmed, Granger of course being the only other employee still here.

She's lost in her own world, a giant stack of files in her hands as she mumbles to herself and
rushes over to Lupin's office. I wonder if she's aware that I'm still here. Should I knock
something on the ground to make myself known or do I just sit here quietly and do my best to
not disturb her? Apparently I went with neither of the above seeing as I now find myself
leaning in the doorway of the office with my arms folded across my chest.

"Last I checked the ministry doesn't offer extra credit Granger."

She lets out a small gasp and her body jolts before spinning on her heels to face me. "Malfoy,
I didn't realize you were still here." Great. Back to Malfoy. "Why are you still here?" She
questions.

"I received an owl an hour ago from freckles informing me that it would be smart to not
return until much later tonight. I think it's safe to say they won't be making it to any dinner
reservations."

Letting out a small giggle, she finishes whatever it was that she was doing before I came over
and claps her hands together. "Right, my place or yours?"

"What?!" I can feel the blood instantly rush to my face. Am I blushing right now? It feels like
I'm blushing. Gods I hope I'm not blushing.

"Pub wise." She clarifies. "I assume you have a favorite?"

Is she asking me out right now? I'm definitely blushing. I don't think I've ever blushed before,
this is a strange sensation. My cheeks feel hot and my hands are clammy, hopefully she didn't
notice me wipe them off on my sleeve. Alright Draco, be smooth, don't make a complete fool
of yourself, you got this.

"I was in prison for the last three years." The second the words fall from my lips and I see her
body tense, I mentally smack myself. That was the opposite of smooth.

"Oh, I didn't mean to-"

"No, wait." I shake my head. "Let me try that again." Taking a deep breath and a single step
forward I say "I've been... away for some time so I'm not even sure what pubs are still
around."

Her body relaxes as she too takes a step forward. "Mine it is then." She smiles up at me.

So. Fucking. Pretty.

6:45 pm

Of course her favorite pub would be muggle owned, though it is far better than the one Theo
dragged me to that one time. I wonder how he's doing, I wonder how all of them are doing.
All I know is that Pansy hasn't seen her father in some time which isn't surprising, that man
often made my father look like a saint which says a lot.

I've thought about reaching out to them but every time I go to grab a piece of parchment and
quill I find some excuse not to. As much as I hate to admit it, the truth is I'm just not sure I
can handle anymore change. It's easier for me to remember them as the people they were
three years ago then be forced to once again face the reality of how much time truly passed
while I was away and how much I missed out on.

If I find out that Pansy and Theo got married while I was in Azkaban I might just throw
myself in front of a bus and if Blaise somehow managed to snag himself a girl then that'll be
confirmation that I am actually dead and this is all just my own personal hell. I do hope
they're happy though, that they managed to build lives for themselves. I think a part of me is
embarrassed too. If they came back and saw my current circumstance, specifically with
Granger, I just know they'll shit on me.

Theo understands how much she means to me but that's because he got to see it for himself
for months whereas Blaise and Pansy still had a hard time comprehending how a single witch
could have such a strong hold on me. I can hear it now, Pansy telling me that it's pointless
and to move on and Blaise suggesting that I just need to get laid. I don't want to get laid
(okay, I do) and I sure as hell don't want to move on. I once told Granger that I will always
love her and I meant that. There's no one else for me, it's either her or no one at all.

I feel a tug on my arm and then I hear a soft "Hey." Blinking a few times, I look over to my
right and see Granger looking up at me, concern written all over her face. "Are you okay? I
lost you there for a bit."

Please, don't even get me started on losing someone.

"I'm fine, just a bit tired is all." I lie. "So, this is your favorite pub huh? I have to say, it's not
exactly a place I'd picture you choosing to spend your evenings."

"Oh is that so?" She questions as we take a seat at the bar. "And what would be a place I'd
spend my evenings?"

"The library or at home but certainly with a book in hand. The specific book is where you've
got me at a bit of a loss but that's not due to my lack of knowledge in the sort you enjoy. With
the current situation at work I'd say you've been spending less time getting lost in the words
of Jane Austen or Lance Gainsworth to focus on the files you've smuggled out of the office."
I say pointing over at the manila envelope that's just barely peeking out from her bag.

Her cheeks flush and I can see the smile that's crept its way across her lips, even as she
attempts to hide it behind her hand. There's a lot of things I've taken for granted in my life but
the one that tops them all is her. I'm not saying I took her as a whole for granted but the little
things I certainly did. Like the small wrinkles that appear at the corner of her eyes when she
smiles and how she always looks down at the ground whenever she giggles.

I always took great pride in the fact that I knew everything about Hermione Granger, down to
the very last detail, but I'm quickly realizing that there are many things I let slip through the
cracks over the years. I may know the exact temperature she likes her tea but I recently
discovered she only ever crosses her right leg over the left, never the other way around. I
know she bites her nails when caught off guard and scrunches her nose when mad but only
yesterday did I notice that she always dips her quill into the ink twice and taps it on the rim
three times before writing anything.

Admiring Granger has always been a favorite pastime of mine and one I engaged in quite
frequently but something about me seemingly ceasing to exist to her a majority of the time
has caused me to observe her in a different way. Each day I'm gifted with the opportunity to
discover a new quirk of hers and as much as it sucks, and it really does fucking suck, that
we're having to start all over, I can't help but feel damn lucky to have the chance to fall in
love with her all over again.

8:30 pm

"It's an ale."

"It's fucking awful is what it is." I retort, my face twisting in disgust as I set the glass down. I
don't know if it's the alcohol I've consumed or if I'm just simply intoxicated by the divine
sound of her laughter but my usual restraint is nowhere to be found as I move a curl out of
her face and tuck it behind her ear, my thumb brushing over her cheek. It feels like
everything and everyone around us has frozen in time as she leans her head into my palm and
those beautiful eyes of hers meet mine, I could stare at them for hours.
"Another mojito for you?" The bartender asks her, causing the both of us to pull away.

"Erm- no, thank you though." She croaks out. Just as the young man begins walking away
she calls him back. "Actually, could we get two shots of tequila please?" He nods his head
and in no time at all three small glasses are placed in front of us. Two of them are filled with
a clear liquid while the third contains slices.

"First you lick the back of your hand." She informs me before going on to demonstrate. I
copy her actions, trying my best to not get turned on as I watch her tongue glide across her
skin but fuck - I'm only human and a rather weak one when it comes to her. Next she grabs
the salt shaker and pours some onto the both of our hands before handing me one of the lime
slices.

"Lick off the salt, drink the shot and then suck on the lime, okay?"

"On your cue Granger." I smirk as I pick up the glass.

She taps her glass against mine. "Cheers." We both follow the steps she had just given and as
I watch her suck on the lime I decide that some man must've created this technique because I
have never been more aroused in my entire life. Have her lips always been that shade of
pink? They look so soft right now. I want to kiss her.

"Malfoy you.."

I lift a brow as my head quirks.

"You.. it's just.." She's barely able to get out the few words as her small giggle quickly turns
into a full on belly laugh. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude or make fun but-" The laughter
continues while I remain confused as to what's suddenly so funny. "Here, just look." She says
as she grabs my shoulders and turns my body forward to look into the mirror behind the bar.
Staring back at me is someone who looks like me, only far more ridiculous. While I was busy
fantasizing about Granger's lips on mine I seemed to have forgotten that there's a bloody lime
slice wedged in my mouth. I immediately spit it out but that doesn't bring and end to her
hysterics.

"Enjoying ourselves, are we?" I question.

"I'm sorry, really." She says as she clutches onto her stomach. "It's just you always look so
proper, so to see you like that was.. it was unexpected and sort of endearing."

"Mhm." I hum, squinting my eyes. "Well I hope you enjoyed it enough to witness it a second
time." She pushes down my hand just as I raise it but the bartender already took notice of my
signal.

"I'd say we've already had far too much to drink, wouldn't you?"

"I strongly disagree." I tell her. "You've only just now gotten the giggles which means we're
due for at least five more drinks until we can officially call it a night. Unless you have
somewhere you need to be?"
Please say no.

She shakes her head. "My evening has never been more open."

"Music to my ears, Miss Granger."

1:30 am

"You really should have let me pay Malfoy, I was the one who invited you out in the first
place."

"Nonsense." I scoff as I hold the door for her. "I may have done some objectively terrible
things in my life but letting you pay will never be one of them. Besides, I've been trying to
spend the rest of the muggle money I had left over from my outing with freckles." Rolling her
eyes, she wraps her arms around herself as we step out of the pub.

"Are you cold?"

"A little but it's oka-" Slipping off my coat, I drape it over her shoulders and rub her arms.
"Thank you." Based off of the way she's looking at me right now I think it would be safe to
bet two things. One, she is constantly forgetting that, while I may have been in prison for a
few murders here and there, I am still in possession of my manners. And two, Weaslebee has
never offered her the same decency, just another reason to kill the tart when I see him. If
you're going to take my girl, at least treat her right.

We had been walking for twenty minutes or so when she stops outside a closed café. The
stroll was mostly silent but I didn't mind it, I'm just enjoying spending time with her.

"Shit." She gasps.

"Well what did you expect Granger? It's the middle of the night, of course the place isn't
open."

"What?" Her head turns to look at the shop and then back at me. "No, not that. I live in the
flat just above it."

"You live here?" I question, though I'm not surprised.

"Yes, which is the problem."

"Yeah, I can imagine living above a café can grow irksome. Waking up every day to the
obnoxious voices of muggles screaming at the poor barista for getting their fancy muggle
drink wrong."

"That is a rather common occurrence unfortunately." She says. "But no, not that either."

"Okay, then what is it?"

"We're at my place."

"Yes, we've already established that."

"No Malfoy, we're at my place."

"Granger, it doesn't matter if you put emphasis on a particular word this time. It's still the
same sentence containing a fact that, like I said, has already been established."

"How is it that even drunk you still manage to carry such a snide tone?"

"I'm not drunk." I argue.

She crosses her arms and shifts her weight to one side. "You're wobbling."

"I'm not wobbling."

"You're definitely wobbling."

I am definitely wobbling but I won't admit that.

"And you're still not explaining why you seemed so upset that we're standing outside your
place."

"Right, that." Uncrossing her arms, she lets out a deep breath as she rubs her temple. "You're
not supposed to be left unattended and I know the way I worded that made you sound like a
child incapable of taking care of themselves but it's ministry orders."

"Okay, and?"

"And we're at my place instead of Harry and Ginny's, which is on the complete opposite side
of town."

"I still don't see the issue here Granger. I'll just apparate, it's really not a big deal."

"You are not apparating." She scolds.

"Oh, I'm definitely apparating."

"How? You don't have a wand."

A soft chuckle escapes the back of my throat as I say "I don't need a wand."

"You're telling me you're skilled enough in wandless magic to apparate?" Such mockery
lacing her words. If I was an insecure individual I'd be highly offended right now.

"That is exactly what I'm telling you. I can even demonstrate if you'd like."

She's going on about how that isn't necessary as I bend down, pick up a small rock off of the
sidewalk and hand it to her. "Wow, a rock, thanks Malfoy. Like I was saying.." As she
continues on with her tangent I hover my hand over hers and swiftly flick my wrist,
 transfiguring the rock. "And how would you even know how to-" Her breath hitches as she
stares down at the flower. "You-it's a peony, that's my-"

"Your favorite, I know." There's that look of surprise I've become far too familiar with seeing
as of late. When will this witch just accept the fact that I know her? At least most of her. Like
I did earlier in the bar, I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's late, I really should be
getting back. I don't need a repeat of father Potter scolding me again." I tell her.

"Okay." She whispers.

Taking a step back, I can't help but smile as I watch her lift the flower to her nose and take in
the scent. I'll buy you an entire fields worth of peonies, love.

"Goodnight Malfoy."

"Goodnight Granger."

She makes her way over to the door and flashes me a small smile over her shoulder before
stepping inside.

"I love you, Hermione." I whisper as the door shuts behind her.

Chapter End Notes

Russian Translation

"This witch is boring me to death." The fatter man groans.

"If only her top was just a bit lower, perhaps then I'd be interested in what she has to
say." The ugly one states causing them both to chuckle.
"The skirt is quite nice, perfectly hugs those curves of hers." The first one adds.
Their eyes are scanning up and down Granger’s body as they continue to objectify her in
their native tongue. Strike three. Yeah, this isn’t going to work for me.
"Do either of you value your lives?" I question.
The fat one's eyes snap over to me, appalled that I’d speak to him in such a manner.
"Excuse me? Do you know who I am?" He snarls.
"I don't care who you are." I reply. "After all, your name won't matter if you keep talking
about Miss Granger like this." Leaning forward, my eyes narrowing, I say "Show her the
same respect, otherwise I'll cut you open and send your insides to wherever the poor
woman is waiting for you at home."
"You're full of shit." He says, shooting up this feet.
"Test me, you fat bastard." I challenge as I also get up from my feet.
 Chapter 85
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

June 2 2001

Muggle liquor tastes dreadful and also produces one hell of a migraine. My head is pounding
as I drag myself out of bed and make my way downstairs. As I turn the corner, bile instantly
rises in the back of my throat as my eyes focus in on the scene before me. Snatching the
paper from the table, I begin rolling it as I clear the distance between myself and the revolting
couple. This morning’s Daily Prophet now transformed into a solid weapon, I smack Potter
across the face.

“Ow!” He winces as his hand flies up to his head and turns to face me. “What the fuck
Malfoy?!”

“Don’t touch her, you’ll infect her with your muggle aids.”

“I don’t have muggle aids!” He says defensively. “How do you even know what aids are?”

“I read about it in a book.”

“When?”

“In Azkaban.”

“You read while in prison?” He questions.

“Why is that so surprising?”

"I don't know, I just never really pictured prisoners sitting down and reading a book."

"It's not like we had anything else to do. Now if you'll move, I'd like to enjoy a cup of
coffee." Pushing him aside, I come face to face with freckles who is leaning against the
counter and wearing nothing but a robe and a smug look.

"You got home late last night." She states as she hands me a mug.

"Well I was instructed to avoid this area at all costs. I do hope you know the contraceptive
charm, Ginevra. I don't think the world needs another one of those." I say, darting my eyes
over to Potter. Sitting down, I take a sip of my coffee while both Potter and freckles join me
at the table. Why are they looking at me like that? If anyone should be on the receiving end
of such a look it should be them, they are after all the ones who were just caught snogging in
the kitchen.

"Do you two plan on just staring at me like idiots or are you going to actually say what's on
your mind?" I question as I take another sip.
"How was your night out with Hermione?" Potter blurts out which earns a slap from his
lovely girlfriend.

"For fucks sake Harry, have you ever heard of being subtle?" She scolds.

As he rubs his arm he says "What? I thought he would appreciate us getting to the point."

"Excellent." I answer causing their side dispute to come to a halt and their attention to turn to
me.

"What's excellent?" Freckles questions as she leans forward.

"Potter managing to get to the point for once instead of dancing around the subject." I
explain. "I'm very proud of you scarhead, would you like a gold star to add to your shrine of
personal achievements?"

"But what about your night with Hermione?" Such a nosey little witch, doesn't she have
anything else to do besides focusing on my attempt at winning my girl back?

"That was excellent as well." I casually say before finishing off the rest of my coffee. "Have
either of you ever had a tequila shot? The drink itself isn't anything grand but the process is
certainly noteworthy."

"Tequila?" Potter questions. "You and Hermione drank tequila together?"

"Yes and I'm paying for it right now." I groan as I rub my temple. "You wouldn't be able to
make your voice any less grating would you? It's causing my already painful migraine to
worsen."

I don't know what happened in the last few seconds for the both of them to go completely
silent but I'm not a fan of it. These two are the most talkative individuals I have ever met in
my life so the fact that they're both sat in silence is unsettling. I haven't done this in awhile so
I'm a little out of practice but it should be simple enough. Focusing in on Potter first, I push
my way into his mind.

"Hermione is drinking again, this can't be good. And it's tequila, that's a sure sign that
something is going on. Oh - Ginny is looking at me. Aw, she's so pretty. Wait- oh gods. She's
giving me some sort of look, I don't know what that look means. Okay, nod your head like you
understand."

What a knobhead. I wonder what he means by drinking again. Did Granger have a problem
with drinking before? And why is tequila specifically some sort of alert that something is
wrong? Per usual, Potter is useless but maybe his far more intelligent girlfriend will be able
to answer my questions. Jumping my gaze over to freckles, I enter her thoughts which are far
louder than Potter's.

"He's doing that thing again where he nods his head to make it seem like he understands
what my look means. I love this man but he's so bloody stupid sometimes. If you don't know
what I'm trying to tell you then just ask for gods sake! But back to Hermione and Draco. I
was rather shocked that she addressed her letter to me and not Harry last night, it's been a
long time since we've spoken to one another. I guess inviting her over for dinner tomorrow
helped open up the line of communication. But shit, not the tequila again. I hope she's
alright."

What's the fucking deal with the tequila?! And Letter? What's with this witch and her letters?
And dinner? She's coming here for dinner tomorrow? What the fuck is this? Was freckles
planning on telling me or was she just going to blindside me with it by having me walk
downstairs to see Granger sat at the table? Usually my legilimency helps provide me with
answers but now I'm even more confused than before.

"Sharing is caring, freckles."

Her eyes rip away from Potter's and the death glare drops. "What are you talking about?" She
asks.

"Once again you're proving why you make a terrible host. Not informing one of your guests
of a dinner party is a sure way to end up on the black list."

Picking up an apple from the bowl on the table, she throws it at me and shouts "Don't use
legilimency on me you fucking dick!"

"Don't keep stuff from me then you moron!"

"You're in my house." She argues.

"And you're keeping information about my girl from me."

"Technically she isn't your anything!"

"Are you wanting me to kill you? Because if so you can just ask, no need for the dramatics."

"Hey, guys." Potter chimes in. "Could we all maybe just calm down?"

"Shut up!" We both snap at him. Freckles stands and slams her hands down on the table, I
also stand but leave out the childish attitude.

"You can't just waltz your way into my thoughts without permission Draco, it's a complete
invasion of privacy."

"Since when did you care about privacy?" I mock. "Just a few minutes ago you and Potter
were about to shag in the kitchen."

Potter's face is a bright shade of red as is hers but not for the same reason. While his eyes are
full of embarrassment, hers are drowning in rage. I wouldn't say I'm scared because I'm
certainly not but I am taking note of any and all sharp objects that are within her reach.

Fork.

Letter opener.
Spoon - if she got creative enough.

"Your girlfriend not remembering that she ever loved you does not grant you permission to
use legilimency on whoever and whenever you want!"

She definitely wants to die.

"Alright!" Potter shoots up to his feet and claps his hand. "This conversation is not productive
and will surely end terribly if we don't all take a breather and approach this in a different
way."

"Harry don't even think about it." Freckles warns.

"Oh, I've thought about it and it's happening." He tells her before disappearing into the living
room. When he returns he has a broken wand in hand and holds it up. "This is-"

"A broken wand." I interject.

"Yes but-"

"Harry I mean it." Freckles cuts in. "I really don't see how this will-"

"If you two would just shut it for a moment." He hisses which takes us both by surprise. The
man is a renowned pushover and freckles clearly wears the pants in the relationship, so for
him to raise his voice at her - let's just say I'd award 50 points to Gryffindor. "Great, now let
me start over. This is the immunity stick, anything you say when holding it will not be held
against you. If you are not holding the stick then you can't speak, you must wait your
turn." This is by the far the dumbest thing I've ever heard of but before I can oppose, freckles
rips the stick from his grasp and continues on with her little fit.

"Look Draco, I get that what you're going through is absolute shit and I can't even begin to
fathom how you're feeling but just because you're going through it does not mean you can
just help yourself to my thoughts you fucking wanker!"

Reaching across the table, I snatch the damn stick from her hand. "Ginevra, I understand that
you've been sitting around this flat collecting dust for the last three years and have
completely forgotten how to function like a normal human being but I do hope you'll realize
that it's wise to never keep anything about Granger, especially her coming over for dinner
tomorrow, from me." Potter sheepishly raises his hand like we're in class again back at
Hogwarts.

"What?"

"It's just, are you done?" He asks. "Because if you are then you can place the stick back down
on the table."

"One last thing." I say, turning my attention back to her. "Your robe makes you look like a
stay at home mother who hasn't felt the warmth of the sun on her skin since she popped out
her fifth child. A hairbrush might do you some good as well. Okay, now I'm done." I smirk as
I toss the stupid thing on the table and sit down.
Freckles reaches for the stick but Potter gets to it first. "That was... not what I was hoping
for." He says letting an exasperated sigh. "Let's try this instead. I will ask a question and each
of you take a turn answering it. The same rules still apply, whoever has the stick gets to speak
and anything they say can't be used against them or brought up later, understood?" We both
roll our eyes at him and nod.

"Wonderful." He smiles. "I'd like for you both to speak about what's truly upsetting you so
much. Gin, I know there's more to this anger of yours than Malfoy being the usual prick he is.
And Malfoy, as much as you try to hide it, I know this Hermione situation is bugging you
more than you allow anyone to believe. Now, who would like to go first?"

There's an awkward silence that fills the room but eventually freckles raises her hand and
Potter hands her the speaking stick/immunity stick/literally just a broken fucking wand but
whatever gets him off I guess.

"I've been rather stressed lately for many reasons." She begins, her voice far calmer than
earlier. "To start off, my first day working at the ministry is Monday."

"You're going to do great Gin."

"Potter, you're not supposed to speak." I shoot over at him. "Follow your own rules. No stick,
no speak. Fucking tart."

"As I was saying." Freckles continues. "I'm nervous and stressed about my first day but I also
realized that joining you both in the auror department also meant joining Hermione, who I
haven't spoken to in close to a year. I had so much anxiety about seeing her that I impulsively
sent her a letter asking if she'd join us for dinner tomorrow. The reason I hadn't told you is
because I didn't know whether Ron would be joining her or not so I figured it would be best
to wait until I found out."

This time I'm the one raising my hand.

"Yes, Draco?" She groans.

"So I'm guessing you still don't know, seeing as you hadn't told me yet."

She shakes her head. "I'd ask Ron himself but it's been even longer since I've spoken to him.
Also, in regards to the letter from her I'm sure you're now aware of, I received it last night.
She was asking if you made it home safely. Okay, that's all."

This is all such interesting information. Granger checking in to make sure I made it home
safely? What an adorable little witch. I guess it's my turn to share my feelings, I didn't realize
I'd have to attend two therapy sessions this week. Freckles tosses the broken wand over to me
and for a moment I consider listing off a string of snide remarks but I decide against it. Gods,
look at me, I really am a reformed man.

"I think Granger's memories of me are still in there and are slowly coming back to her." I
state causing both of their jaws to drop. "I also think Glenice is either her mind healer or at
least working on her case." Both of their hands immediately shoot up into the air. "I know
what you're thinking." I say, nodding my head. "How could Glenice keep such a thing from
me? I too was hurt, I was just starting to consider shaking the old man's hand."

"Fuck the stupid stick." Freckles says. "What do you mean you think Hermione's memories
are slowly coming back to her? Did something happen?"

I go on to explain every instance where I believed I saw a piece of the woman who loves me,
even how she managed to pick the one knife that was once pressed against her center. I'll
admit, I got a bit side tracked explaining that one. Feeling generous, I also offer them a
debriefing on last nights activities, ending it off with asking why it's such a bad thing she
consumed some tequila.

"A few months after she showed back up and we began trying to restore her memories
Hermione fell into a weird place." Potter tells me. "I mean, I guess all of us would if we were
constantly being told we weren't remembering such a big part of our lives. Anyways, she
turned to drinking but the nights when we'd find her with a bottle of tequila rather than a
glass of wine were always the worst. She eventually worked through it and was fine for
awhile but then.."

"But then her and Ron started dating." Freckles takes over. "She was happy, at least she
seemed happy, but they would fight.. a lot. I told her dating him would be a mistake.
Anyways, when the fights became more frequent then so did her drinking and always tequila.
I don't know why that's what she turns to but it is. That's why when you mentioned that you
two were drinking that last night we got worried."

And here we have another reason to kill Weaslebee. At this point I hope he comes to dinner
tomorrow, he's been hiding away for far too long, it's time for him to face the consequences.
If he was a perfect gentleman to Granger I would've let him off with a severed limb or two
but the more I hear about his failure to even be a decent human, I'd say he should start writing
down where he'd like whatever is left of his body to be buried.

"I'm sorry but can we revisit the fact that Hermione's memories might be coming back?"
Potter asks. "I mean, if being around you is the key to it all then maybe we should consider
exploring that."

"No." I state.

"Why not?"

"Because, as you hinted at earlier, this entire situation has me entirely fucked in the head. I
may be seeing glimpses of her but we were just talking about how she's dating someone else.
I want my Granger back more than anything but I won't be another person trying to tell her
how she's supposed to feel and who she's supposed to have said feelings for. If her memories
come back then brilliant."

"And if they don't?" Freckles asks.

"Then I'll probably kill myself."

"Draco.."

"Fine, I won't kill myself but I'll certainly want to. Look, I still don't understand how I got
that woman to love me the first time around and I find getting her to do so a second time an
impossible task but that doesn't mean I won't do everything that I can to at least try to get her
to."

"So you're in for the long haul then?"

"I'll spend the rest of my life trying to get her back if that's what it takes."

June 3 2001

Now this is a sight to see. Freckles running around the kitchen with an apron wrapped around
her waist while she barks orders at Potter. This woman was ready to cut his damn head off
when he placed the incorrect forks on the table.

"Merlin Gin, it's just Hermione, I don't see why we need to pull out our fanciest silverware."

That was probably the dumbest thing he could've said right now. Freckles looks like she's
about to beat his head in with the wooden spoon in her hand and I have to say, I'd thoroughly
enjoy witnessing that.

"It's not about Hermione, this is the first guest we've had at our place in years Harry!"

"I understand that but-"

"No buts!" She shouts as she slams the cabinet door shut. "Did you sweep the entryway like I
asked you to?"

"Er-no not yet but I-"

"Go do it. Now!"

Potter trips over his feet as he rushes out of the room and I can't help but laugh. The fun I was
having is abruptly cut short when a knife flies past my face and lodges into the wall right
beside my ear.

"Now what the fuck was that freckles?" Turning, I remove the knife from the wall and
instantly recognize it. "You really tried to kill me with my own knife?" I ask, letting out a
scoff of disbelief.

"Is your room clean?" She asks, ignoring my question.

"What are you? My mother?"

"Is. It. Clean?"

"Probably."

"Probably isn't good enough. Go make sure it's clean!" She commands.

"Are we planning on showing our guest to my room this evening or something? I mean I'm
not opposed but I'm just-"

"Now Draco!"

Fucks sake, what is this witch's problem? I always wondered how freckles dealt with Potter
but now I'm starting to think the opposite. Poor bloke.

6:00 pm

Of course right as the clock strikes six the doorbell rings. Freckles rushes over to the front
door, pats down her dress and takes a deep breath before opening it. Potter and I are in the
living room, confused expressions on both of our faces. She really is making a far bigger deal
out of this than needed. I mean she even made us dress up for the occasion, I'm talking full on
suits.

"Hi Gin." Granger smiles.

"Hi." She smiles back.

The two of them just stand there for an awkward amount of time before finally hugging.
Once that painful exchange is finished, freckles steps aside and invites her in. I'm really glad
I'm sitting right now because gods, the effect this woman has on me. I'm too focused on how
beautiful Granger looks that I failed to even notice Weaslebee walk in but once I do and his
eyes meet mine, he stops dead in his tracks.

"Malfoy." He inhales sharply and his eyes widen.

"Weaslebee." I smirk, standing and walking over to him. "I was wondering when I'd finally
see you, it almost started to feel like you were avoiding me."

The tension in the room is extremely high but I'm not bothered, unlike gingerfuck here who is
clearly about to wet himself. I can feel everyone's eyes on us as they anxiously wait for the
expected fight to happen. As I raise my hand I watch as the sad excuse of a man flinches and
blocks his face with his arms. He's even more dull-witted if he believed I would kill him in
front of her.

"You're supposed to shake it." I say as I hold my hand out.

He peeks out from behind his arm and slowly straightens his back. "Wh-what?"

"Like this." Grabbing his right hand, I place it in mine and shake it. "See? Handshake. It's
what people still do these days to greet one another, is it not?"
"Er-yeah, it is." He replies, skeptical of my friendliness and he should be.

"Uh, hey Ron." Potter says stepping forward.

"Harry, it's good to see you."

"Yeah, you too."

The pair share an even more awkward hug than freckles and Granger's. This dinner is going
to be so much fun.

7:00 pm

The first hour was filled with painful small talk between the girls but once they each
consumed a glass of wine they seemed to relax and were able to move on to talk about
something other than the recent weather. Freckles is telling her about how excited and
nervous she is to be joining us at the ministry and Granger, of course, offers her words of
encouragement and says how she can't wait to have her with us. Now that they've had their
little moment I think it's about time we move onto the main course of the evening,
humiliating Weaslebee.

"So Weaslebee." I begin, leaning back into my chair as I take a sip of my firewhiskey. "What
sort of work has been occupying your time these days?" He looks extremely frightened that
I'm speaking to him right now. He should save that for later, I'm only getting started.

"I-er-I've been working alongside George." He tells me.

"Is that so? Where at?"

"The Weasley's Wizard Wheezes."

"So you co-own the place?" I question.

"No."

"Not that the option isn't there." Granger mumbles under her breath. If she meant for no one
to hear that, I hate to be the one to tell her that she miserably failed.

"Do you have something to say Mione?" Weaslebee asks as he looks over at her.

"Nothing you haven't already heard Ronald." She bites out as she rolls her eyes and takes a
rather large sip of her wine.

"We've discussed this, you know I prefer just working on the floor."

"More like you prefer to have no responsibilities even though your brother has asked for your
help countless times."
Hmm, maybe I won't even need to embarrass him myself. It seems like Granger is doing a
perfectly fine job for me. The two continue to bicker back and forth and while the other
couple of the night seems rather uncomfortable, I'm having one hell of a time. Much to my
displeasure, their arguing is interrupted by the kitchen timer going off.

"Dinner's ready! I'll go get that." Freckles announces as she jumps up from her seat.

7:45 pm

"So Malfoy, how was prison?" Weaslebee asks as he shovels more food into his mouth.

"Ronald!" Granger hisses as she smacks his arm.

"What? I'm genuinely curious, I've never had the chance to speak to someone who has been.
You don't mind, do you Malfoy?" He grins. I know what he's doing, he's trying to set me off
so that he can show Granger that I am in fact the terrible human I'm sure he's painted me as
over the years. Unfortunately for him, I'm far too smart to fall into his trap.

"Not at all." I casually reply. "Prison wasn't all that bad. I mean, yes, the guards spent quite
some time beating me and one time they even offered me up to the dementors but I think it's
exactly what I needed. I was able to really spend my time there reflecting on my actions and
even worked through some rather traumatic things I had pushed aside for a long time."

Angered that I didn't react in a way that worked in his favor, the twat stabs his fork into his
chicken and says "Yeah, I'm sure it was tough thinking back on all of the innocent people you
slaughtered."

"That's enough Ron!" Freckles scolds. She looks like she's ready to rip out his insides but I
raise my hand to signal for her to calm down.

"Slaughtered is a rather dramatic way to put it but yes, you are right when you say that they
were innocent. I won't sit here and try to justify my actions nor will I seek out any
forgiveness, I'm well aware that I'm not deserving of such. What I did was what was
necessary in order to survive and that I will never apologize for. What I will apologize for is
the pain I inflicted on the lives of their loved ones." My eyes flick over to hers as I say "I
have firsthand experience with the pain that comes with losing someone you love."

I don't need to use legilimency to know what's going on in that brilliant mind of hers right
now, it's written all over face. The way the tension in her shoulders dissipated, how her brows
relaxed, eyes softened and lips parted. Usually I hated being on the receiving end of such a
sympathetic look but right now, I'm relishing in it - especially since it's seeming to drive
Weaslebee completely mental.

8:30 pm
For the remainder of dinner gingerfuck kept his mouth shut like the good boy he is. I think
once he took note of the way Granger looked at me he realized he'd only be digging his own
grave by continuing. Freckles and Potter work on clearing the table while I escort our guests
to the living room.

"Another glass of wine, Miss Granger?" I ask as she takes a seat on the couch.

"That would be lovely." She smiles. "Thank you Malfoy."

"I could use another as well." Weaslebee states.

"Bottles are in the kitchen." I inform him as I fill her glass. Like the child he is, he lets out an
aggravated huff as he gets up to his feet and leaves the room.

"I'm sorry about Ron, he's been rather.. irritable lately." She tells me.

"Please Granger, never apologize for the poor attitude of another."

Whether it be due to the alcohol or my personal favorite theory, our close proximity, a light
shade of pink dances across her cheeks. There's a single curl dangling in her face and if I
were a stronger man I'd ignore it but I'm not and any excuse I can find to touch her, I will. As
she raises her glass I reach over and gently brush the strand from her face, the cup stopping
just before her mouth.

"I haven't had the chance to tell you how beautiful you look tonight." I tell her as I tuck the
hair behind her ear. "You are a mesmerizing woman Miss Granger and I'm afraid you've
ruined every other witch for me." Her chest rises as she pulls in a sharp breath, her eyes now
completely consumed by her pupils as she wets her lips.

"I-" She begins but is suddenly cut off by a very soon to be dead Potter.

"I have pie!" He exclaims as he enters the room and places a plate down in both of our laps.
"Gin made it from scratch. I beg you both to at least pretend to like it or else I'll have a
sobbing mess of a girlfriend to deal with later." He whispers.

"Thanks Harry." Granger sets down her drink and picks up her fork. As soon as she lifts her
hand to take a bite I push it back down.

"I'm telling you this because I care about you, don't eat it." I look over my shoulder to make
sure freckles isn't within earshot before continuing. "She had me test her recipe last night and
all I'll say is, the food in Azkaban is gourmet in comparison."

"Oh, I see." She whispers as she too checks on freckles' whereabouts. Slowly, she sets her
fork back down on the plate.

"I'll take care of these." Walking across the room, I crack open the window and toss both of
our plates out. Just as I'm closing it I spot Potter, freckles and Weaslebee making their way
over. Rushing back to my seat I look at Granger and mouth "Act casual." She nods her head
and flashes me a wink before repositioning herself in a totally natural, not suspicious at all
way.
"How did you like the pie?" Freckles asks as she takes a seat on the couch opposite of us. "It's
my mother's recipe but I tweaked a few things."

We both spew out a collection of "It was delicious" and "By far the best pie I've ever had."
Granger does, however, take it a bit too far by adding in "I was devastated when I looked
down and my plate was empty."

"Oh! I can have Harry get you some more, just give him your plate and he'll-where are your
plates?"

"I-erm-" Granger stutters as she looks over at me for help.

"You know what freckles, it was just so good that we even ate the plates."

"You two are so full of shit." She sneers. "Just please tell me you didn't throw it out the
window again."

"I can tell you that but I would be lying."

"Fucks sake Draco, do I need to remind you that we live on the fourth floor? Someone
probably had a proper heart attack when they all of a sudden had two slices of pie come
crashing down on them."

Much like last night, a single soft giggle escapes the back of Granger's throat but rapidly
turns into a full on burst of laughter. It's an intoxicating sound that manages to infect the rest
of us, everyone but Weaslebee that is. While we all laugh and joke about the possibility of
someone getting hit in the head by a slice of pie, the git crosses his arms and pouts.

10:00 pm

Potter and freckles are showing Granger around their place when I pull the weasel into the
office. Locking the door, I mutter a silencing charm before cracking my neck and turning to
face the coward.

"Have you had your fun?" I question.

"I'm sorry?"

"You should be. Look Weaslebee, it's bold of you to try and fill my shoes while I was away
and I'll give you props for having the guts to even attempt to do so but from what I've heard
you haven't been following the rules."

"What rules?"

"There's only one and it's quite simple, yet you've managed to fail miserably at it." Making
my way over to the desk, I pick up the letter opener and run it between my thumb and pointer
finger. "The rule for when taking advantage of a situation and stealing my girl is to treat said
girl far better than I ever did and to worship the ground she walks on. It seems you've been
doing the exact opposite." My eyes snap up to his and the whole nice guy and unbothered act
I've been putting on all evening vanishes.

"Malfoy look-"

In two strides, I clear the distance between us and grab him by the throat. "No you listen." I
snarl. "Some fucking how you were given the opportunity to be with that woman and now
I'm hearing that you were a contributing factor to her apparently unhealthy relationship with
drinking?" Pressing the tip of the letter opener into his abdomen I say "You were right to
flinch when I went to shake your hand, only I'm not going to hit you." My hand pushes
forward, driving the metal into his stomach. "I'm going to break every single bone in your
body Weaslebee and then when I'm done I'll heal you but not for your sake, for Granger's.
She doesn't deserve the torture of having to take care of your pathetic arse."

I twist the blade once before yanking it out from his body. His hands fly up to cover the
wound as he hunches over. Slipping off my jacket, I hang it on the coat rack and roll up the
sleeves of my shirt.

"Try to keep the screaming at a minimum." I request. "I may have silenced the room but I'd
rather not listen to your pitiful sobs."

10:50 pm

Weaslebee is leaning against the door as he tries to his best to hide the pain he's in while
Granger says her goodbyes. I healed him like I said I would but considering I didn't have a
wand, I'd say it's highly likely that not every bone was put back the way it should be.
Whatever. He'll live which is unfortunate for the rest of us.

Granger has just finished hugging Potter when she turns to me. "I'll see you at work
tomorrow?" The question itself isn't anything special but the way in which she asked it and
how she looked at me when doing so definitely is.

"Looking forward to it, Granger."

June 4 2001

"I mean it Potter, if I walk into some stupid party I will make your life a living hell." I
threaten.

"Oh because you're such a joy to be with now." He mocks. "Besides, I don't know where you
got this idea that Gin was throwing you a birthday party in the first place. I never once said or
did anything to make you think so."

"You quite literally asked me what my favorite type of cake was this morning you daft
dimbo."
"Well maybe that had nothing to do with you or your birthday!" His voice full of stess as he
tries to play it off. "Maybe I was just trying to get to know you."

"Right because finding out what cake I like best is an extremely important detail."

"It is when it comes to birthdays." He mutters.

"See!" I exclaim, smacking the back of his head. "I fucking knew it. Get her to call it off."

"But she-"

"I don't care how much time or planning has gone into it Potter. Call. It. Off."

I would rather be hung by my toenails than be thrown a birthday party. I have never had the
desire to be celebrated in such a way and I never will. Maybe my distaste stems from how my
father would treat me on the specific day but regardless, I will never see a reason for making
such a big deal of the day my mother birthed me and nothing will ever change
that, especially a party.

June 5 2001

As I'm about to exit the lavatory the blonde receptionist that Granger hates, Val, steps out in
front of me. I move over to the left to get around her but she also shifts to the side to block
me.

"Move."

"Lupin wants to see you in the conference room." She informs me.

"Okay, tell him I'll be there after I get my cup of coffee." I step to the right to once again try
to get around her but just like before she mimics the movement to continue to block my path.
"Val, I'm asking nicely here.. get the fuck out of my way."

"Conference room three."

"Coffee first."

"No."

"No?" I question as I quirk a brow.

"No." She repeats.

I cross my arms and say "I know you're smart enough to know that ordering me around never
ends well."

"Just go to conference room three!" She screams as she flails her arms in the air.

"Merlin's tit, alright."

"Thank you."

"Val."

"Hmm?"

"You're going to have to move out of the way in order for me go to the bloody conference
room."

"Oh, right." She steps aside and gestures for me to step out. "Apologies."

"You're fucking weird."

I don't know what could be so important that Lupin instructed the receptionist to corner me
outside of the lavatory and why it couldn't wait two minutes for me to get my coffee but it
better be good or else I swear I'll-

"Happy birthday!" A collection of voices shout as I enter the room.

You have got to be kidding me.

"Happy birthday!" Val screams in my ear as she blows into an oddly shaped object that
releases a noise almost as annoying as her voice. "Sorry for trapping you outside the loo but
my job was to get you here." Ignoring her entirely, I scan the room until I spot scarhead who
is hiding behind freckles. I'm about to lunge forward and strangle him when Granger steps
forward.

"Happy birthday Malfoy." She smiles as she hands me a small box.

"Not you too Granger." I groan.

"Just open it." She demands, placing it in my hands.

There's a room full of people staring at me right now so the last thing I want to do is open a
present while they all watch but a long time ago I came to terms with the fact that I'm
completely incapable of saying no to this witch. Pulling at the ribbon that's wrapped around
the box, I take my sweet time carefully removing the rest of the wrapping, Granger clearly
annoyed and growing impatient with my slow movements. After what I'm sure felt like
centuries to her, I finally remove the lid.

"A box within a box, creative. What a special gift Granger, I love it, truly." Sarcasm lacing
my words.

"Open the second box you insufferable prat."

Removing the smaller box, I open it and as my eyes land on the item within my heart stops
and I forget how to breathe. There's absolutely no way that she- I must be just imaging this
because there's no way that-

"Now you have no excuse for being late." She says, just like she did the first time.
This has to be some sort of sick joke, right? I mean there's no way this is all happening right
now.

She takes a step in, removing the watch she had given me years ago and replaces it with the
new one, completely unaware of the history she's repeating.

"Do you like it?" She asks, once again repeating herself word for word years later.

It takes me a moment to even remember how to speak but when I do I say "It's perfect." And
just like back then, I'm not referring to the watch. She looks up at me only to discover that
I'm already looking at her, she lowers her head in attempt to hide the blush that's moved
across her cheeks. Her fingers linger on my wrist and it feels like my heart is about to burst
out of my chest.

This is her, this my Granger. All of the previous incidents where I thought I saw a glimpse of
her could have easily been written off as a coincidence but this? There's absolutely no way. I
remember that day back in Hogwarts so vividly and right now it feels like we're back in that
moment. An overwhelming amount of emotions that I can't even be bothered to properly
acknowledge flood my body and for once, I don't think and just do. Pulling her body into
mine, I wrap my arms tightly around her and bury my face in her curls.

My Granger, my beautiful Granger. Come back to me.

"I'm glad you like it." She mumbles into my chest as she lets out a small giggle. Pulling back,
I caress her cheek with my hand and I so badly want to do something stupid right now but
someone cuts in before I do.

"I got you your own stapler so you can stop stealing mine." Reid tells me. I really hate this
guy but I am thankful that he spoke up because I definitely forgot that we're standing in the
middle of a room which is still very much full of random coworkers. The few people I do
know are frozen in disbelief as they stare at Granger and I. Turning my attention back to her,
my hand drops and reality sets in.

I think I'm going to be sick.

Rushing out of the room, I pull at my tie and exit the office. Taking a left, I make my way
down the corridor, not stopping until I reach the very end. My hands grip onto the window
ledge as I try to steady my breathing.

Inhale.

Exhale.

I've almost leveled my breaths out when I do the dumbest fucking thing, I look down at the
new watch that's strapped around my wrist. Turning around, my back pressing against the
cold stone wall, I slowly slide down until I'm sat on the ground. Dropping my head, I run my
fingers through my hair and pull at the ends as I begin hyperventilating all over again.

"Draco."
Even though it's a male voice and I know exactly who it belongs to, I still pray that it will be
her who is standing in front of me as my eyes snap up but it's not.

"Lupin I really d-don't feel like t-talking right now." I manage to choke out.

He walks over and joins me on the floor. For a few minutes he doesn't say anything, he just
sits with me and I'm grateful for it but the silence only lasts for so long.

"Harry told me that you thought Hermione's memories were slowly coming back." He begins.
"I know that she gave you that first watch. It must be hard to have such significant moments
like that repeat all these years later, especially considering the current circumstances."

Hard? It's fucking torment and I'm very familiar with such. I've had my bones broken by my
father, my skin cut open and have undergone countless hours of the cruciatus curse but none
of those things have ever come close to the agony that I experience when around her. She
makes me fill with juvenile butterflies and warmth while simultaneously twisting and ripping
my heart out, it's by far the most cruel form of punishment that I've ever been sentenced to.

I want to be around her, I want to spend every single minute in her company but I always get
too carried away and blinded by the small things like making her laugh. I forget that only just
over a week ago she still hated me and that she is still very much in a relationship with
someone else and every time I'm hit with that realization it feels like I'm watching her die all
over again.

I want to curse this stupid world and whatever higher being I'm supposed to believe in for
doing this to me, for doing this to us. I've been handed bull shit after bull shit my entire life
and I endured it all, I did what was expected of me and never asked questions. Only once in
my life have I done something just for me and no one else and that was open my heart to
Hermione Granger and what do I get? I get to watch as she dies, I get to be haunted by
memories of her as I grieve in a cold cell and once I come to terms - once I finally accepted,
I'm broken down again by her return.

I'm aware of the things that I've done, things I've said and merlin knows I deserve to suffer
but this.. this is too much, even for me.

"It's killing me." I whisper. "Being around her is killing me."

"I know." Lupin sighs as he rests his hand on my back. "But that's love for you, isn't it? When
you love someone so much, so deeply, the idea of not being with them is enough to cause an
unmeasurable amount of hurt but it's also a beautiful thing, to be able to allow yourself to feel
such things." He looks like he's in the same amount of pain as I. Sometimes I forget that he
also lost someone during the battle, only difference is his girl didn't come back to life. "I
know you don't care what I think but I want you to know that I'm proud of you, Draco. I can
see how hard your trying and how much you've changed for the better."

"I'm proud of you." I've only heard those four words once before in my life and they were
spoken by Mr. Viktor. They didn't hold much meaning to me though, he was never someone I
cared to hear it from and I was only offered such praise for being exactly what my father
raised me to be - an obedient soldier. But Lupin, he was never someone whose opinion I ever
 expected to give a shit about but somehow the annoying man has changed that and hearing
him say he's proud of me - it means a lot.

Gods what have I become?

Chapter End Notes

here's your academic reference - to the two who inspired Potter's lack of subtlety
 Chapter 86

June 11 2001

“You can’t just avoid her.” Freckles says as we step into the lift.

“Are you sure? Because I’ve been managing to do just that for the last five days.” I tell her as
I pull the gate closed.

“You need to grow a pair and stop running away every time you see her in the office.”

“I don’t run away.” I say defensively. Which isn’t a lie, I briskly walk. I also think the word
avoid is a tad extreme, I simply redirect myself if I happen to spot her but it’s not like she’s
made some sort of effort to come up to me either. After my small breakdown on my birthday
Lupin and I returned to the conference room and found that mostly everyone went back to
their desks. Freckles and Potter remained as did Val and of course Reid, he’ll gladly do
anything other than his actual job.

While no sign of Granger made my stomach drop, I was fucking relieved she wasn’t there. I
don’t know what that witch wants from me right now. She’s with Weaslebee but also taking
me to her favorite pub and seducing me with that sinful shot technique. She brings him to
dinner but then proceeds to point out how big of a joke he is in front of all of us and I swear
to Merlin she was flirting with me at one point — not verbally but definitely with those damn
eyes of hers. I haven’t been this confused since the day I started puberty and randomly began
waking every morning with a hard on, at least that had a simple solution. Granger is a lot of
things but simple has never been one of them.

“I mean what do you expect to do tomorrow when we’re sent to Kingsgate? You can’t just
ignore her or run off when we’re there.” She asks.

Opening the door for freckles, I wait for her to step inside the office before following behind.

“I’ll figure it out.” I shrug. “For now, I’m going to continue on with my regularly scheduled
program of staying as far away from her as possible. Tell scarhead I’ll be a few, I have to talk
to Lupin about tomorrow’s assignment.”

That was a lie. I don’t need to talk to him about the assignment, I need to talk to him about
my latest date with dear old Glenice.

**
“Remus said you’ve had a rather tough week.” Glenice says as he holds out a plate with a
single raspberry scone on it. Never once has this old man offered me any sort of food. If this
is his attempt at poisoning me, it’s working. Picking up the scone, I settle back into the chair
as I take a bite.

“I see you decided to continue wearing your old watch even though Miss Granger gifted you
a new one.”

“Good eye, Glenice.” I praise. “You truly are a brilliant man.”

“Would you like to tell me why?”

“Not really but I’m going to go ahead and guess that your question wasn’t really a question
at all and was only worded that way as a formality.”

“Seems like I’m not the only brilliant one in this room.” He smirks.

I take my time savoring every last bite of the scone before giving Nuttsack what he wants.
“The new watch she gave me is fine, perfect even, there’s nothing wrong with it technically
speaking.” I tell him as I wipe the crumbs from my lap.

“And if we were to be speaking about it in non-technical terms?” He pries.

“Well then there’s a lot wrong with it. Clearly I don’t wear the damn thing because I’m
concerned about the time. I wear it because the day she gave it to me was a turning point for
us and while she may have quite literally quoted herself and repeated the same actions, it
wasn’t the same. There was no turning point, not for her at least.”

“You know what I’m going to ask next, Mr. Malfoy.”

“I do but I miss hearing you say it. Go on, do your therapist thing.” I smirk as I cross my
arms. I swear he just rolled his eyes at me, not very professional of him but I’ll let it slide.

“How does that make you feel?”

“Despite the smile on my face, not good Glenice.. not good at all. I also don’t see why
everyone has such a large stick up their arse about the condition of my watch. Sure, it has a
few scratches and might not be in perfect condition but that doesn’t mean it’s broken.”

“We aren’t talking about the watch anymore, are we?” He questions.

“Obviously we aren’t talking about the watch anymore Glenice!” I scoff. “The fact that you
had to even get clarification on that should be a sign to possibly reconsider occupations.”

“Remus told me that you believe Miss Granger’s memories might be coming back.”

“Did he now? Remind me to never tell that man anything ever again. But since you brought it
up, why don’t we revisit our last session.”

“Mr. Malfoy you know I can’t–”

I raise my hand to stop him. “I’m not asking you to give me details, hell I’m not even going to
ask you to say anything. But if you are, in any capacity, working on Granger’s memory
restoration case, blink once.” Leaning forward, I carefully study his face. For a while he
remains completely still and I mean completely still, he doesn’t even breathe but then I see it
– one single blink.

“I knew it!” I shout, shooting up to my feet.

“Blinking is an action that every human does.” He states. “Did you expect me to never blink
again?”

“Oh don’t try to pull that shit with me.” I scoff. “You know, it’s never good to start a
relationship off with a lie.”

“I never once lied to you.”

“I’d argue with you on that one.” Great, now I’m pacing. He probably thinks I’ve gone mad
and you know what, maybe I have.

Ever since Granger gave me that damn watch I’ve been an absolute nutcase and I mean
NUTCASE. My nights have consisted of me doing exactly what I am now – pacing. Pacing
and talking. All. Fucking. Night. And you know what the worst part is? I’m not even talking
to anyone! It’ll just be me! I’ll just walk the length of my room over and over and over again
while I have full on conversations with myself. Freckles has yet to make even the slightest
snide remark about it which only validates my theory that I’ve gone completely mental.

“If you’re meaning for me to hear what you’re saying, you’ll need to speak up.” Glenice
informs me.

Fantastic. I’m doing it again. If the man hasn’t already written me a one way ticket to the
psychiatric wing at St Mungos, I’m sure he’s getting ready to.

Walking over to his bookshelf, I read over the titles in an attempt to help slow down and focus
my thoughts. “Tell me this, Glenice.” I say as I run my finger over one of the spines. “If you
have to give an estimate, how likely would you say it is that she’ll remember me?”

Silence.

And then..

An exhale.

“Thirty percent.” He replies.

I slowly nod my head as I pick the book out from the shelf and walk back over to the chair
opposite of his. “That’s pretty shit odds.” I say as I fall back into the seat, my eyes remaining
trained on the cover. “If we were back at Hogwarts, she would be receiving a failing mark.
Granger and failing don’t belong in the same sentence, Glenice.”
“Have you read that one?” He asks and even though I’m not looking at him, I know he’s
giving me that same sympathetic look I’ve been the recipient of ever since I was transferred
from one prison to another.

A soft chuckle escapes the back of my throat as the corner of my mouth lifts up into a weak
smile. “I read it before it was available to the public, we both did.” My pointer finger traces
over each individual silver letter.

U-N-D-E-S-I-R-A-B-L-E

**

“I’m resigning.” I announce as I slam the door behind me.

Lupin’s head snaps up but as soon as he sees that it’s me his shoulders instantly
relax. Removing his glasses, he rubs his eyes and leans back into his chair.

“You can’t resign Draco.” He sighs.

“I’m pretty sure I just did.”

“Resigning would mean you were hired in the first place, which you aren’t. So no, you
actually can’t.”

I hate it here.

“Then at least take me off tomorrow’s assignment.” I request.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible either.”

“Why the hell not?!”

“Because your familiarity with not only the original operations of the reformation but also the
area are both extremely vital to the success of said assignment.” He explains. “Do you care to
explain why you’re suddenly trying to quit a job you don’t even have?”

Pulling out the chair that’s positioned in front of his desk, I slump down into it and let out a
frustrated groan as I run my hand down the length of my face. I know I said I would never
tell him anything again but right now he seems to be the only person I feel I can talk to about
her.
“She’s not going to get them back.” While that statement has crossed my mind more times
than I care for, this is the first time I’ve ever said it out loud and it’s even more painful
hearing myself admit it.

“I thought you said you were seeing glimpses of her recently?” Lupin questions. I’ve always
appreciated the fact that I’ve never had to go into detail in order for him to grasp what I’m
referring to.

“Yeah but that’s all they are, glimpses. There won’t be nights where she decides to pick a
fight by bringing up some stupid remark I made during fifth year. She’s never going to look
at me like she used to, like I’m her entire world – her safe place.”

At some point during my confession he must’ve made his way around the desk because when
I lift my head he’s standing directly in front of me.

“And you want to quit because?”

“Because while I’m falling in love with her all over again she can’t even be bothered to
notice that I’ve been avoiding her.”

“So you admit you’ve been avoiding her?”

“Let’s not make me feel even more pathetic than I already do, Lupin.”

He lets out another sigh, people have been sighing an awful lot when around me as of late
and I’m really starting to hate it because it’s usually followed by something I don’t want to
hear.

“I can’t take you off of the assignment and I can’t take her off of it either, we both know if I
did it would end with my head on a stick… literally.”

He’s not wrong. Granger would absolutely cut his head off which only makes me love her
more. Gods, why can’t this woman just do something so repulsive that I lose all interest in
her. I’m not even sure what could manage that though. Perhaps if she went blonde? Nope,
she’d still take my breath away. Maybe if she lost all of her teeth? Got a face tattoo? Ate
blueberry scones every single day for the rest of her life? Let’s be realistic, this woman could
show up one day with a dangling eye and the world's worst body odor and she’d still have the
ability to make me drop to my knees.

Being in love sucks.

June 12 2001

Against my own wishes, I find myself in the conference room with both Potter and freckles
who are going over the checklist once more before we head off to Kingsgate.
Lupin has just entered the room and following closely behind is Granger who greets everyone
with a warm smile, including me. The two love birds offer her the same pleasantries in return
while I opt in for a curt tip of the head.

“Let’s take this time to go over the plan once more.” Lupin begins. “You’re to search the area
for any sign of the death eaters. If you manage to locate any of them, the use of force has
been approved by the minister.” He’s just about to say something else when I raise my hand.
“Yes?”

“Define force.” I request.

“Take a look for yourself.” He casually replies as he slides a folder over to me.

Curious as to what has caused such a mischievous look to find its way onto his face, I flip
open the folder. I only need to scan over the first section for me to understand.

Name : Draco Lucius Malfoy

Asset Activation Status : Approved

Fucking finally.

“Those were my exact words.” Lupin says. Shit, did I just say that out loud? “Yes and you
also said that out loud.” He informs me.

That’s it. Brain off. No more thinking. I don’t need to continue down this path, especially
before I think certain things about a certain someone who may or may not be in this room
right now.

“What is it?” Potter asks as he leans across the table.

“Shacklebolt activated Draco’s main contract last night.” Lupin tells them. “While you all
have the authority to execute out of self defense, please try your best to refrain from such.
Draco is the only one approved to use lethal force regardless of the circumstance.”

“Why?”

“Because they can’t have word getting out that the wizarding community's beloved chosen
one has blood on his hands.” I answer.

“Would you stop referring to me as that already?”

“Don’t act like you don’t fancy the title Potter, you have a bloody mug with the name on it
and don’t think I haven’t found your secret stash of clippings from The Daily Prophet.” I
smile.

“Hey! What did I say about going through my desk?!”

“Gentlemen!” Lupin shouts as he flicks his wrist causing the door to the conference room to
slam shut. “This isn’t the time for your childish disputes.” He continues going over the plan,
making sure to repeat the part about bringing certain death eaters back to the ministry should
we come across them – alive was a rather emphasized word in that statement.

“I have a question.” Potter states as he raises his hand. Lupin gestures for him to carry on.
“Where the hell are we staying? I mean I don’t mind camping but I’d really rather not.”

“No tents will be necessary.” Lupin assures him. “Ginny has handled the boarding situation,
she’ll apparate you all there first so you can get settled. Any other questions?” We all shake
our heads and remain silent. “Wonderful. Val will be by shortly to distribute the proper
paperwork you’ll need should you encounter any muggle authorities. Once you are in
possession of those you may head out. I would stick around to send you all off but I’m afraid
I have a meeting to get to.” He lifts his arm to check his watch. His eyes widen and he
frantically gathers his belongings. “One I’m already running late for. Best of luck, I have
nothing but the utmost faith in you all!” He shouts as he rushes out, nearly knocking Val over
while doing so.

“I had asked if he wanted me to give him a five minute reminder.” Her eyes land on me and
she instantly fixes her hair. “Well don’t you look handsome Draco.” She gushes. “The all
black look suits you.”

“Ahem.” Granger clears her throat as she gets up from her seat and approaches the
receptionist. “Are those for us?” She asks, looking down at the papers in her hand.

“Oh, yes. Here you go.” Val smiles. Granger, rather harshly, takes them from her. There’s
jealousy written all over her beautiful face right now but I’m choosing to ignore it. It most
likely has nothing to do with me anyways, she’s probably just still bitter about the
receptionist flirting with her boy toy.

I must not have been the only one who spotted the tension between the two witches seeing as
Potter awkwardly stands and says “Er-let’s get going, yeah?”

“Brilliant idea Harry.” Freckles adds, also getting up to her feet.

“Yeah, alright.” I’m the last to stand. Positioning myself to the right of freckles, both her and
Potter between Granger and myself, I can see Granger staring at me out of the corner of my
eye but I keep my focus on literally anything other than her.

“Everyone ready?” Freckles asks, we all nod our heads. I grab onto her arm, she grabs onto
Potter’s, Potter grabs onto Granger’s and suddenly the room twists and turns.

Kingsgate

3:00 pm

“Gin, I know the ministry locked down on expenses this year but I do think it was within our
budget to get the proper amount of beds.” Granger says as we set our bags down in the room.
“It was the only one they had left.” She shrugs. “Besides, at least they’re separated. You and I
will share the west wing and Harry and Draco will share the east.”

“Oh great, I get to listen to scarhead mumble in parseltongue all night.” I groan as I fall back
onto the couch.

“I don’t do that anymore.” Potter argues.

“You most certainly do.”

“It’s true.” Freckles adds.

“What?! Why didn’t either of you tell me?” He questions.

“We just did.” She and I both state.

“Now.” Freckles claps her hands together. “I don’t know about you lot but I quite fancy
myself a shower. Harry?”

“Hmm?” His jaw practically falls onto the floor as he takes note of her raised brow and
suggestive smirk. “Y-yeah, me too!” He says as he scurries across the room.

“Yeah, I’d rather not be within earshot of this area while you two clean yourselves.” I say as I
get up from the couch.

“Suit yourself, just remember you can’t leave the hotel witho–”

“Without anyone, yeah I know.” I say waving her off as I exit the room.

9:00 pm

I’m well aware that it doesn’t take six hours for them to “shower”. Knowing Potter, I’d say it
takes less than five minutes but steering clear of Granger is an awfully hard task to complete
if I’m stuck in the same bloody room as her. I tried to occupy myself with what was available
to me in this stupid place. I started off with sitting in the lobby and watched as people came
and went which got boring rather quickly so I moved on to getting some food, it was shit.

The bar was where I expected to find solace from the beginning but I wanted to hold off for
as long as I could. In my experience, drinking and being around Granger never ended without
me making some sort of love confession to her but alas here I am, drunkenly stumbling my
way back. Entering the room, I fully intend to head straight to bed but I’m almost
immediately stopped and by the one person I was hoping to dodge.

“I wouldn’t go in there if I were you.” She warns.

“And why’s that?” I ask, still refusing to look in her general direction.
“Last I saw Gin was when she ran out in nothing but her knickers, snatched a bottle of
whipped cream and then immediately ran back in there. They haven’t come out since.”

My face twists in disgust at the thought of them doing anything other than holding hands and
even that makes me want to hurl.

“Yeah, that was my same reaction.” She says. I forgot that just because I’m refusing to look
at her doesn’t mean she isn’t looking at me. “You can take my room if you’d like, I’m going
to be up for a while looking over these files and will most likely crash on the couch.”

“I’m not letting you sleep on the couch, Granger.” I tell her. Honestly, what kind of man does
she think I am?

“You aren’t letting me do anything. Just take the bed and get some sleep, it looks like you
might need it.”

I find it very offensive that she practically just told me that I look, more or less, exhausted.
Even though I am, being told you “look like you might need” some sleep by the girl who is
the cause of your fatigue is never a good feeling.

Too tired and drunk to argue further on the matter, I take her up on her offer.

“Thanks.”

“Night Malfoy.”

“Night, Granger.”

12:30 am

“Shut up boy.” My father growls as he removes the dagger from his pocket. I’m shutting my
eyes and preparing myself to feel him cut into my forearm like he always does but the sound
of a high pitched scream causes them to snap back open.

Granger.

She’s knelt on the ground, her hands covered in blood as she clutches onto her stomach.

“I told you love only makes you weak, son.” My father says as releases his hold on Granger,
her body toppling over.

This isn’t real. This isn’t real. This isn’t real.

I feel a hand grip onto the back of my shirt and I’m lifted up to my feet and dragged over to
where she lay. Her chest is still rising and falling but each breath is slower than the last. Her
eyes meet mine and I watch as a single tear escapes the corner of her eye and she mouths “I
love you.” Just like she did that day in the forest.

“No!” I scream, lunging forward and throwing my body on top of hers. “I got you. I got you
Granger.” Lifting her into my arms, I brush the hair from her face. “You’re alright, you’re
going to be alright.” I say. “I just need you to open your eyes for me, okay?”

Her eyes slowly open and I see them, I see those beautiful brown eyes of hers and those gold
flakes that always have me so transfixed.

Raising her arm, she places her hand on my cheek and whispers “You are a good man, Draco
Malfoy.” Placing my hand on top of hers, I close my eyes and feel as a tear rolls down my
cheek.

“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. It should have been me.” I cry. “I love you, Hermione. I
love you so much.”

“A good man.” She repeats through a weak smile before her eyes shut and I feel her take one
last breath.

“No, no, no. Come on, open your eyes Hermione. Just open your eyes and look at me.”
Nothing. “Look at me dammit!” My voice cracks as I lightly shake her body. “Please, open
your eyes. Stay with me, love.” Still nothing.

“This is your fault, son.” My father says as he approaches me and bends down so that we’re
eye level. “Look at me!” He shouts. Once my tear filled eyes meet his hate filled ones he says
“Maybe if you were stronger, If you were good enough, she would still be alive.”

“This is your fault! You did this to her!”

“Did I?” He questions. “Was I the one who got involved with her knowing damn well what
future awaited me? Knowing the danger I’d be putting her in by being a selfish child?” He
leans forward and tightly grips my shoulder. “I may have been the one to drive the knife into
her stomach but you were the one who led her here.” Peeling my left hand from her lifeless
body, he hands me the dagger that is still covered in her blood before standing and walking
away.

Make it stop. This isn’t real. Not again. It can’t be. Make it stop. Bring her back. Bring her
back to me.

“Please Hermione, please wake up.” I plea as I lift her body into mine and rock back and
forth.

The feeling of someone grabbing my arm causes my eyes to snap open and for me to shoot
up as I frantically scan the room for my father.

“Hey, hey. It’s just me, you’re okay.” She reassures me.

Granger.
My arms wrap around her and I pull her into me. As I bury my face into the crook of her neck
I feel the gentle rhythm of her pulse and I let out a breath of relief as I relax into her.

She’s alive. She’s okay. She’s here. She…

“Shit.” I curse under my breath as I pull away. She doesn’t remember, she isn’t mine. “Sorry,
I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay.” She tells me as she rests her hand on top of mine.

This is the first time in days that I’ve looked at her, I mean really looked at her and gods I
feel like I’m 14 again. That’s when I first really noticed how truly beautiful this woman is but
unlike every other guy at school, it wasn’t the night of the Yule ball.

We were in herbology, Longbottom was telling her the history of some plant and it was clear
as day that Granger had no interest in the topic yet she still gave him her undivided attention.
I remember sitting there, watching as she nodded her head and made sure the poor bloke felt
heard. He must’ve said something funny or at least attempted to because her lips curved up
into a smile and that was the first time I ever heard her laugh.

It was such a fucked moment. The most fucked of all fucked moments because I was truly
and utterly so so very fucked.

From that day on all I could think about was her. All I could hear was her laugh, all I could
see was her smile and all I could think about were those wild curls of hers. That was the
moment my observation of her solely for academic rivalry purposes had switched to me just
admiring her because I wanted to, because she was pretty and the most intriguing person I
had ever met.

“Were you having some sort of nightmare?” She asks, pulling me from my trip down
memory lane.

Nightmare. Ha, That’s one way to put it and it’s easier to just leave it at that. I mean what am
I supposed to say? Actually, it was almost an exact recreation of the night I watched you die.
Yeah, not a chance.

“You can say that.” I tell her as I wipe the sweat from my forehead.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Granger, I realize you don’t know me that well but come on. Did you really just ask me
that?”

“Very well then.” She says as she crawls over to the other side of the bed.

“What are you doing?”

Grabbing the small rectangle thing from the nightstand, she points it at the other rectangle
thing that’s hanging on the wall. “We’re going to watch a movie, it’s what my parents always
did when I’d have a bad dream.” Movie? What the hell is a movie?
The black rectangle suddenly flashes a bright white, illuminating the entire room and then
moving pictures appear.

“What’s your favorite movie?”

“I’m sorry, my favorite what?” I question.

“Movie.” She repeats. “Don’t you have a favorite?”

“I’ve only just discovered that the black box plays pictures.”

“It’s called a television.”

“Okay, that doesn’t change anything for me.”

“Wait. Are you telling me you’ve never seen a movie before?” She almost sounds appalled
by her own question.

“Considering I still have no clue what a movie is, yes, that’s precisely what I’m telling you.”

“Well this just won’t do!” She exclaims. “I hope you got enough sleep because you will not
be getting anymore until you’ve watched all of the classics.”

5:00 am

“I mean it Granger, I will throw myself out of that window over there if you make me watch
another one.” I threaten.

“I still don’t understand how you didn’t like a single one.”

“What was there to like? Some toys came to life, which isn’t that crazy.. we are wizards after
all, a blonde girl got her license and started dating her brother who isn’t actually her brother
and then some guy just ran a lot.”

Grabbing the pillow from behind her, she smacks me in the face and says “Do not speak
poorly of Forrest Gump!”

“Relax, all I said was that he ran a lot. I don’t see how that’s speaking poorly of the man.”

“Fine. What about Home Alone? You didn’t mention that one.”

“The one about the kid’s family leaving him behind?” I ask, she nods. “That one was alright,
probably the best of the batch. I quite enjoyed watching him kick those two knobhead’s
arses.”

“Of course you did.” She smiles as she rolls her eyes. “I still think we should watch one
more, I really think you’d like this one. It has men in suits and there’s aliens and-”
“Granger.” I softly say, cutting her off and lowering her hand that’s holding the (what I’ve
recently learned to be) remote. “It’s late, we have a busy day ahead. Perhaps we should get
some sleep, yeah?”

“Oh, right, the assignment. What time is it anyways?”

Checking my watch I say “Five fifteen.”

“Bollocks, we have to be up in less than four hours.”

“Like I said, we should get some sleep.”

“Alright.” She sighs. “But we’re going to watch that movie soon, I mean it.”

I let out a soft chuckle and say “Whatever you want Granger.” As I swing my legs over the
edge of the bed I feel her grab my hand.

“Where are you going?”

“To sleep on the couch.” I tell her. “As kind as it was for you to offer it to me the first time,
I’ll be damned if I let you do it again.”

“Oh, okay.” She almost sounds.. disappointed? Am I missing something here?

Not allowing my mind to entertain that question, I get up from the bed and make my way to
the door. Just as I’m about to step out I look back at her and say “Goodnight Granger.”

“Goodnight, Malfoy.” She smiles.

5:45 am

Well I’m a fucking idiot. How did I manage to forget to grab the one thing I needed to make
sleeping on this couch bearable? I’ve tried bunching up my coat and using that as a makeshift
pillow but that failed miserably. This couch is also as solid as a rock, my bed in Azkaban was
comfier than this.

I’ve been tossing and turning the entire time trying to find some position that would allow me
to sleep but, just like my attempt at making a pillow, I’ve failed. The second I stepped out
here I debated on going back into the room and taking one of the six pillows from that bed
but decided against it but at this point I just might have to.

No. Granger is probably sound asleep and I’m not going to risk waking her just because I’m a
little uncomfortable. This is fine, I’ll figure it out, I’m sure there’s some way I can make this
work.
Flipping around so that my head is now on the other end, I discover that this isn’t any better, I
don’t even know why I thought it would be. For the last ten minutes I tried everything and
anything I could think of to make this situation better, I even tried the floor but nothing. Fuck
it. I’m sure if I just quietly sneak in she won’t even notice.

Getting up from the couch, I cautiously make my way over to the bedroom. My hand is
hovering over the handle when suddenly the door swings open and I find myself face to face
with Granger.

“Oh! Malfoy–” “I was just–” We both stutter at the same time. “You first.” I instruct.

She tucks a single curl behind her ear and says “I was bringing you this.” Looking down, I
see a damn pillow in her hands. Merlin I love this woman. I’m about to thank her but when
she hands it to me her choice in sleepwear is revealed and my mind goes blank. It’s a black
silk two piece with lace along the edges and the top cuts just low enough to make any man go
crazy.

Fucking hell.

“Malfoy?”

It takes every ounce of willpower I have in me to peel my eyes from her body but when I
finally manage to I find that her sinful outfit is no match for the look in her eyes. Her cheeks
are a soft shade of pink, she’s wetting her lips and her eyes – those damn eyes.

“You’ve absolutely ruined me, Granger.” I say as I brush the hair from her face. “How is it
that you’re standing in front of me in an outfit like that and yet all I can think about are those
gold flakes hidden within your eyes?”

She’s wetting her lips again and we’re standing so close that I can smell her shampoo. Vanilla
and coconut, same as it was back at Hogwarts.

“You’re going to have to walk away now, love.” I say as I brush my thumb across her bottom
lip. “I’m afraid I’m not strong enough to do so and if you stand here any longer I won’t be
able to stop myself from doing everything I’ve dreamt about since the moment I saw you.”

Please don’t walk away. Stay right here, stay with me. Let us stay just like this. This is
perfect.

The sound of the other bedroom door opening causes both of our attention to break from one
another. My head whips around but before I can see who’s stepping out I feel myself getting
yanked forward. The door is swiftly shut and suddenly I’m pushed back into it.

“I want you to kiss me.” Her voice wavering.

I quirk a brow. “Was that a request or a question, love?”

“Neither.” She states, placing her hands on my chest. “It was an order.”
I’m dead right? This isn’t actually happening. I mean it all seems real, feels real too. But
there’s no way that she–

“Follow orders and kiss me, Draco Malfoy.”

Holy shit.

Placing my hands on her hips, I spin us around so that it’s her who is now pinned against the
door. Resting my left forearm against the space just above her head, I wrap my hand around
the base of her neck. I take a brief moment to inspect her face, her eyes, everything – unable
to spot any sign of regret, I lower my head and crash my lips onto hers. My entire body fills
with the most intense wave of pleasure I’ve ever experienced. Every inch of skin is burning
with desire, more. I need more of her. I need her closer.

My hand finds its way to the mid of her back and I pull her into me, her hips pressed against
mine as I slant my mouth and glide my tongue against her bottom lip. Her lips part and I
deepen the kiss, her tongue and mine tangling with one another as her hands reach for my
hair and pull at the ends.

Breaking the connection, I whisper “Jump.” Granger doesn’t hesitate before doing just as
instructed, my hands catching her thighs as her legs wrap around my torso and I guide us
over to the bed. Placing her down on the mattress, I make my way down her neck – kissing
and biting into her soft skin until I reach the bottom of her shirt. Pushing the fabric up, I
gently kiss along her lower stomach just above the waistline of her shorts.

“Malfoy.” She moans. The use of my last name is enough to snap me out of the trance this
witch so easily puts me under. Immediately, I get up and begin pacing the length of the room
as I aggressively run my hand through my hair and down the back of my neck.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” She asks as she sits up.

“What the fuck was that Granger?!” My biting tone startling her. “I mean, what was this
entire night? Why are you fucking with my head like this? Crawling into bed with me,
cozying up while we watch those pictures and now this?” She’s trying to say something but
I’m not finished. “You understand that I’m in love with you right?” My question sounding
more like an angry statement. “You know that all you need to do is say the word and I’ll do
whatever the hell you want! Ask me to cut off my own damn arm and I will.” I’m still pacing
and I’m still not letting her speak. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Dr-”

“You may not remember it but I have put your safety, hell, I’ve put your friend’s safety far
above my own. I’ve killed my own family for you, I dropped everything I was doing just to
come give you a damn hug! I have given you all of me time and time again and all it has ever
brought me is pain. Whether you care to admit it or not, you know that I bend at your will but
I have feelings Hermione! And this– it hurts.. especially from you!”

“Draco look at me!” She shouts, standing up and taking my face between her hands. I’m too
caught off guard to even register the fact that she just called me by my given name but when I
do I feel my heart stop and then it begins racing. Am I having a heart attack right now?

“I wasn’t trying to mess with your head.” She tells me and I’m hearing her or at least I’m
really trying to but I’m still too hung up on the fact that she just called me Draco. “I’m sorry
if I made you feel like I was taking advantage of you in any way, that was never my
intention.” Okay, I’m listening. Gods did she really call me by my first name? I’m going to
need to hear her say it again, maybe I’m losing my hearing.

“Draco are you listening to me?”

Okay. I can die now.

She said it again, I wasn’t just hearing things. She has called me by my first name twice now
and neither of the times was it said out of spite and I honestly think I’ve lost all functioning
of my brain. I am now no more than an absolute puddle at the feet of Hermione Jean Granger
and there’s nothing else I’d want in the world.

“Draco..”

“Love, if you keep saying that I will fall dead on this floor. My blood will be on your hands.”

“Say what? Your name?”

I nod.

“Draco.” She says once again as she takes a step into me.

“Yes, love?”

“I want you.”

Merlin, three words have never made me weaker. I think that’s my favorite thing I’ve ever
heard her say.

“And what about the weasel?” I ask as tuck her hair behind her ear. “I may lack a conscience,
especially when it comes to him, but I know that you are quite the opposite.”

She shakes her head. “We broke up.”

Okay, I take it back. Those three words are my favorite.. I thought my birthday was last week,
what is this?

“You broke up?” I question, my brow arching.

“Yes.”

“So what does that make me? A rebound? You know what, it doesn’t matter, I don’t care.”

“No. You are not a rebound.” Granger takes yet another step into me, only a breath of air
between us now. “You are the man who has managed to take me by complete surprise.” She
begins, her hands now on my chest. “All I have been able to think about is you. The way I
feel when you touch me, it’s both terrifying and intoxicating and I want to drown in
it. You have absolutely ruined me, Draco Malfoy. So I’m going to say this once more, kiss
me.”

She’s barely able to even get the last of her words out before I pull her into me again,
caressing her lips with mine. The kiss is aggressive, desperate and hungry and it’s fucking
perfect. Leading us to the bed, I lay her back down and pick up right where I left off. While
my mouth trails along her lower stomach I press my palm against her center causing her body
to jolt, I can feel how wet she is for me.

“Do you know how much I’ve fantasized about this, love?” I ask as I remove the silk shorts
from her body. “You are the object of my every desire, the only person who will ever be able
to satisfy my endless hunger.” Positioning myself between her legs, I say “You. Are. So.
Fucking. Perfect.” Kissing and sucking her skin between each word. My mouth now hovering
over her center, her hand reaches for my head and tries to push me down as a whimper falls
from her lips.

“Bit eager are we?” I smirk up at her.

“Shut. Up.” She pants. “I want to feel you inside of me Draco.”

“And you will but I’ve been without you for three years so I’m going to savor every last drop
of you.” Her objection is cut off by my tongue pressing against her clit. She takes a sharp
inhale and her fingers dig their way into my hair. My left hand moves up to her breast, my
thumb rolling over her nipple while my tongue laps around her.

Moan after moan escapes the back of her throat when I introduce one finger and then another.
I suck down on her clit while thrusting my fingers in and out of her, each deeper and harder
than the last and I swear the people back in London can hear her countless prayers to Merlin
with how loud she’s being. Her walls tighten around my fingers and her hips buck against my
mouth. “That’s it sweetheart.” I hum against her skin. “Cum for me.”

“Draco.. I’m..” She pants as her head falls back.

“You’re doing so well love.” I praise as I begin thrusting even faster. Her hand balls into a
fist, the bed sheets falling victim to her death grip as her back arches and she comes undone.
Her body collapses down onto the mattress as she struggles to steady her breathing.

Sitting up I place my pointer and middle finger in my mouth, her eyes locking onto mine
while I do so. Her lips part as she intently watches as I do just as I said I would - savor every
last drop of this bloody witch.

“My turn.” She says as she sits up and gently pushes against my chest until it’s me who’s
laying down. Her hand unbuckles my belt in one fluid motion and in another, removes my
trousers entirely. Her mouth attacks my neck and down my chest as she rips open my shirt.
Every time her lips make contact with my skin my body fills with such intense pleasure it’s
almost unbearable. I didn’t even realize how far she’s traveled down until I feel her fingers
wrap around my length.
“Granger.” I whisper, though I don’t know why I did. Maybe it’s because we’ve never done
this before, not that I didn’t want her to. I just never wanted to make her do something she
wasn’t comfortable with but apparently that’s not an issue, she seems extremely comfortable
right now.

Her soft lips are wrapped around my length while she firmly grasps it with her hand and
when those bewitching eyes of hers look up at me while she lowers her head I swear I forget
how to breathe, think, fucking exist. This is heaven I think to myself as her head bobs up and
down, her tongue twirling around my tip each time she comes up. What in gods name have I
done to deserve this? I can’t think of a single thing that would’ve earned me this moment but
I’m not going to argue.

“Am I doing alright?” She asks as she comes up for air and wipes the corner of her mouth.
What a stupid question and she’s aware of that, it’s written all over her face. She wants to
hear me say it, she wants the praise, and I have no opposition in giving her what she wants.

Sitting up, I tilt her chin back with my finger and say “You’re incomparable, Granger.
Flawless even.” She gets up to her knees and slings are arms around my neck.

“Draco.” She coos.

“Yes, my love?”

Positioning her mouth beside my ear she whispers “I want you to fuck me so hard that I
won’t be able to see, think or walk straight.”

Your wish is my command Granger.

Grabbing her by the thigh, I swing her leg around so she’s straddling me and I get up to my
feet. Pinning her back against the wall, my teeth dragging along her collarbone while I rip the
shirt from her body. My mouth moves down to her breast, my tongue circling around her
nipple as my right hand drags my tip along the outside of her slit.

“Please Draco.” She begs.

She did say please. Without warning, I snap my hips into hers, filling her walls with my
length. “Fucking hell Granger.” I hiss. “You’re so tight, so ready for me. I can feel you
dripping all over my cock right now.”

“I-” She begins but I cut her off with another snap of my hips.

“What was that, love? Speak up.” I command. Her lips part as she attempts to speak but is
once again cut short by a sudden thrust. Grabbing her face, I remove the space between us
and swallow back each and every one of her moans as I continue thrusting deeper, faster and
harder into her. Her nails dig into the skin of my back as her walls tighten around me. So.
Fucking. Tight. I can feel every pulse against my own.

“Oh gods!” She cries out. My left arm snakes around her waist and I hold her body close to
mine as she comes undone for the second time and her body goes limp. Pulling out, I lower
her down until her feet are on the ground. I allow her a few seconds to recover before
spinning her around and bending her over. Her hands slam down onto the mattress and I
reach around, grab her by the neck and lift her head so that she’s now staring back at me in
the mirror that’s propped against the wall.

“I want you to watch as I fuck this pretty little cunt of yours.” I whisper into her ear. “If at
any point you want me to stop then say the word, understand?” She nods. Harshly, I snap my
hips forward causing her to let out a sharp gasp. “Use your words Granger.”

“I understand.” She croaks out.

“Good girl.” Releasing my hold on her neck, I gather her curls, wrap it around my hand and
pull back. “Eyes on me Granger, I want you to see what you do to me.” As soon as her gaze
locks onto mine I move my hips back and immediately thrust forward, over and over again.
Her back is arched, lips parted and she’s moaning, crying and cursing my name and it only
sends me into overdrive. Bringing my free hand up to my mouth, I suck down on my fingers
before relocating them to her clit.

Becoming more comfortable with the position, she begins matching my thrusts with her own.
My attention moves from her face, down to her breasts that bounce with each snap and then
to her perfect arse which is slamming back into me as she takes every inch of my cock. My
head falls back and I let out an almost animalistic groan as I feel her clench her walls around
me.

“Fuck sweetheart, you’re trying to kill me.” I say before leaning down and biting down on
the skin of her back.

“Draco… I don’t know if I… I need to..” Her words are breathy and full of desperation.

Dragging her up so that her back is now pressed against my chest, I thrust up into her and
continue working her clit as I watch her in the mirror. Her eyes shut and her head falls back
onto me as her breathing pauses while she unravels. I’m just about to do the same but she
pulls away, turns and firmly grasps my cock. Her lips wrap around my length as she begins
pumping her hand along my shaft. Grabbing onto the back of her head, I guide her pacing.

“Do you like tasting yourself on my cock sweetheart?” My voice a low deep growl. The
vibration from her moan nearly pushes me over the edge. She’s looking up at me through her
eyelashes and there’s something about that innocent look still being present while she takes
every inch of me that causes some switch in my head to flip. My previous gentle guiding of
her head is now replaced by me rapidly thrusting into her mouth. I pause at the sound of her
gag but she keeps going, her tongue lapping the underside of my cock.

“Fuck Hermione.” I grunt. “Just like that, you’re doing so well.”

With one last lap of her tongue and thrust from me, I release down the back of her throat and
she swallows every last drop like the fucking perfect witch she is. Gods, this woman is
actually going to kill me. As she sits up, I lean down to kiss her but she places her hand on
my chest to stop me.
“Draco, I just had your-”

“I don’t give a fuck.” I scoff before removing the rest of the distance between our lips.
 Chapter 87
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

8:45 am

So much for sleep. No matter how exhausted I may be, the reality of having Granger, my
Granger, curled up in my arms as her hair tickles my chin is enough to keep me wide awake.
She’s perfect, this is perfect, and I never want to leave this bed ever again. I keep waiting to
wake up, to find out that this was all just a dream, but I never do. This is real. Glenice is in
for a real treat when I get back.

“What are you thinking about?” She asks as she lifts her head and rubs her eyes.

She’s so pretty. Messy hair, half open eyes, dried drool and all. She’s the most stunning
woman I have ever had the pleasure of seeing and she’s mine. She’s in my arms again. While
she slept I came to the conclusion that even if she never gets her memories of me and us back
I don’t care. We can make new ones together, we can make a lifetime's worth.

“Nothing.” I say. “I’m just glad you managed to find your intellect and dropped the charity
case.”

“Draco!” She scolds as she playfully smacks my arm. “He’s not a charity case.”

“Fine, he’s not a charity case. But you dating him was, in fact, charity. It’s okay love, we all
make mistakes.” I tease.

“You’re unbelievable.” She says through a smile as she rolls her eyes and lays her head back
down on my chest.

As my fingers begin brushing through her hair I say “I stabbed him.”

“I know.” Her voice soft, the complete opposite of what I thought it would be.

“With a letter opener.” I continue.

“I know.”

“And I broke all of his bones.”

This time she lets out a sigh before saying “I know.”

“I did heal him though.”

“Yes, Draco. I know.”

“You’re not mad?” I question.

“No.”

Well this is fucking strange. If I had told her this a few years ago she would’ve chewed my
ear off and that’s when they were just friends. Why is she so okay with this? I’m missing
something, aren’t I? Dammit. I mean, my mind has been a bit fuzzy ever since she told -
no, commanded me to fuck her. Like the brilliant witch she is, she picks up on my confusion
and repositions herself so that she’s looking at me.

“I understand why you did it. I may not be a fan of how you went about it but nonetheless, I
understand.” She tells me. Weird. I accept it though, I’d have to be a proper fuckwit to argue
with her for not being mad that I nearly killed her ex-boyfriend. I wonder when they broke
up.

“Right before you joined us at the ministry.” She says. Is this witch reading my mind? “No
Draco, you’re mumbling to yourself.” Shit. I really need to sort that out.

“Wait. Did you say before I joined you at the ministry?” I ask, just now processing what she
had said. She nods her head. “But then why did freckles and Potter still think that you two
were together? And why did you bring him to dinner?”

“Ron and I were never a topic of discussion between Harry and I. As for Gin, well as you
know we hadn't spoken for awhile so it just never came up. Bringing him to dinner was a
mistake, I can admit that. My reasons for asking him to come were selfish. I was starting to-
you know what, nevermind.”

“Nope, not allowed.” I say. “Finish whatever it was you were just about to say.”

Her shoulders drop as she lets out an exasperated sigh. “I was starting to develop…
feelings for you and I-”

“Geez Granger, try not to sound so thrilled.” I mock.

“I was just- I spent the last three years doing everything I could to get everyone to leave me
alone about feelings I apparently had for a man I didn’t know, that man being you by the
way.”

“Yes, I’m aware that man is me. Go on.”

“Anyways, when we started spending more time together and I got to know you… I don’t
know, feelings just started to develop and at first it angered me because I had just spent so
much time trying to prove to everyone that I didn’t have any of the sort when it came to you."

“I have another question.” I say.

“What is it?”

“If you and the weasel broke up before I was released then why did you tell me you were still
together after we met with Pansy’s dad?”
“It just seemed like the best way to keep you at a distance. I didn’t want another person in my
life telling me how I was supposed to feel.”

This is a lot of news that I'm, admittedly, having a very hard time comprehending but at the
same time it makes perfect sense. What’s a good way to get rid of your ex-boyfriend who you
don’t even remember dating in the first place? Easy, tell him you moved on while he was in
prison. This does prove one thing though, Hermione Granger was most certainly flirting with
me that night at the pub and at dinner. I knew it. Ten points to me.

“One last question Granger.”

“I suppose one more won’t hurt.”

“What do you want from me?” Clearly this was a question she wasn’t prepared for. It’s not
like her to not have an immediate answer for something but yet here she is, completely silent
as she chews away at her bottom lip. Caressing her cheek I say “I can tell you what I want
first, if you’d like?”

“Y-yes, that would be good.”

“I want to take you on a date.”

Her brows furrow and she cocks her head. “A date?”

I nod. “A date, Granger. Several dates actually. I want to pick you up at your place and take
you to dinner, walk with you through the town, I’ll even stay in and watch those dreadful
muggle pictures with you.”

“They’re called movies.” She giggles.

“Whatever. The point is, I want to date you. I want you to get to know me, the real me. I want
to surprise you with your favorite flowers and chocolate and I want to get nervous as I reach
for your hand. I want us to have a fresh start, no more bringing up forgotten memories.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of something in my life.”

“Why me, Draco? What’s so special about me? You could’ve gone for anyone, especially this
time around. You could’ve started over with someone new, someone who you didn’t have
such.. complicated history with.”

“Granger, you can forget me a thousand times over. You can curse my name, wish the most
painful death upon me and pray I go to hell but at the end of the day, I will always choose
you.”

“Draco I-”

The door swings open and in walks Potter. “Mione have you seen Dra- oh!” His hand flies up
to cover his eyes as he freezes in the doorway.
“Have you ever heard of knocking Potter? Or is a lack of common sense something you
inherited due to your wretched childhood?” My tone scornful as I cover Granger’s bare body
with the bedsheet.

“I didn’t realize I’d be walking in on you two shagging!” He argues.

“We weren’t you pinhead.”

“Then why is there clothes sprawled across the floor?” Potter asks. The smug look on my
face is all he needs to understand. Clearing his throat, he says “Right, well if you two
wouldn’t mind putting some damn clothes on, we’re meant to head out in ten minutes.” As he
turns to leave he runs straight into the wall due to his hand still blocking his vision.

What a sad man, I almost feel bad for him. I wonder what it’s like to live with such a small
amount of brain cells. Once the door closes Granger and I both crawl out of bed and get
dressed. I’m just about to put my shirt on when I feel her fingers press against the base of my
neck.

“What does it say?” She asks, referring to the tattoo. I always forget that that’s there. In my
defense, it’s not like I’m carving out time in my day to stare at the back of my neck.

“Moya lyubov', moya zhizn'.” I say as I turn to face her.

“English would be appreciated.”

“My love, my life.”

“That’s beautiful.” She smiles. “What made you get it? Is it for someone?"

Either she’s playing dumb or I really did fuck her until she couldn’t think straight because
what a ridiculous question. Amused by how oblivious she is, a soft chuckle escapes the back
of my throat.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” I say, shaking my head. “It’s just.. it’s for you.”

Her eyes widen with surprise. “Me?!”

“Yes, Hermione. I thought it was pretty self explanatory. My love, you. My life, also you.
Like I told you, I will always choose you, there's no one else for me. I’m afraid you’ve
managed to steal the heart of a ruthless death eater.”

“Is that so?” She questions as she steps towards me and threads her fingers through my hair.
“What happens if I break your heart? Tattoos are quite permanent.”

“You could rip my heart from my chest and shatter it to a million pieces, I would just be
happy that I was on your mind long enough for you to do so.” I tell her as I get rid of the
remaining space between us. “It’s all yours anyways, do with it as you please Granger.” My
lips have just barely brushed against hers when Potter shouts for us to stop fucking and that
it’s time to leave.

Aurors going missing on assignments is a common occurrence right? Surely no one would
miss him. I’m thinking something along the lines of, “I don’t know Lupin, I looked away for
two seconds and then he just fell into the water. We looked all night but no sign. If I had to
guess I’d say some muggle creature ate him for dinner, shame.” Yeah, that could work.

June 15 2001

9:30 pm

We’ve been in Kingsgate for three days now. So far the most action I’ve seen is in the
bedroom, not that I’m complaining, but this assignment is turning out to be a complete failure
- something Granger is not very pleased about. She’s so displeased that she’s now had us
spend most of our evenings staking out the area, a rather irritating order seeing as those hours
could be better spent with her and I laying naked together in bed.

As I’m staring at her and thinking about how pretty she looks in the moonlight, I spot a pair
of black robes sneak into a building just down the road. Perhaps Granger’s refusal to ever fail
at anything might have saved this mission after all.

“Don’t get too excited but I believe I just spotted our beloved death eaters.” I whisper.
Granger’s head, of course, immediately whips around to search the area in which I’m
looking. Considering they’ve already walked into the building, she doesn’t see anyone.

“Where were they?” She asks.

“Brick building, two o’clock.”

“And you’re sure it was them?”

“Admittedly, I was primarily focused on you but yes, it was them.”

“Okay, let’s go get Ginny and Harry first and then we’ll come up with a strategy.”

10:00 pm

“So you want us to do what? Stand in the corner while you rip their heads off?” Potter asks.

“Don’t be so dramatic.” I scoff. “Ripping their heads off would take far too much effort and
we all know how I feel about that.”
“Apologies, how could I forget? Effort and Draco Malfoy never belong in the same
sentence.”

“Precisely. Good job Potter, you’re finally using that small brain of yours.” The corner of my
mouth lifting up into a smirk.

As Granger goes over the plan for the third time, I can hear the irritation growing in her
voice. She’s been itching to locate these twats ever since we got here, everyone has really, but
she’s far more intense about it. There’s a blood thirsty look in her eye that I’m unfamiliar
with. I’m not opposed to it by any means but it’s definitely strange. All she would advocate
for in the past was avoiding violence as much as possible and now here she is, going over her
perfectly curated plan which will ultimately result in several people losing their lives. As
long as no harm comes to her then there’s very little I wouldn’t do. I must say, it’s rather
arousing to be ordered to execute someone by the woman you love.

The plan is fairly simple. I’ll lead point, aka I’m the test dummy – should there be any deadly
wards and such I’ll be the one to discover them. Granger will follow close behind me, next
freckles and then keeping watch on the back end will be Potter. Once inside the building
we’ll search the rooms and dispose of any and all death eaters, when I say we I mean me.
Potter can scribble down a little report after I do all of the heavy lifting. Like I said, simple
plan.

With the sun being down, remaining out of sight is fairly easy as we close in on the building.
I will say out of all the spots for them to convene I never would’ve guessed this. Now
standing just outside of the muggle hostel, I look over my shoulder at Granger and signal for
her to stay put. Once she nods her head, I move forward and check the perimeter for any
wards – nothing. Rookie mistake, this must be where they’re lodging newbies. Now at the
door, I examine the handle and discover that it too has no security measures, it’s not even
locked. It’s like these imbeciles are begging to be killed. Motioning for the rest of the lot to
move up, I wait until they’re behind me before opening the door and stepping inside.

Are these prats afraid of the dark or something? Every damn source of light is on and there
must be some sort of charm on them to make it even brighter than usual because fucks sake,
it’s like I’m looking directly into the sun. The sound of footsteps approaching from my right
catches my attention. “Get the lights.” I whisper to Granger as I slip the knife from my thigh
holster. Stepping around the corner, I get a quick glimpse at the man standing in front of me
before all of the lights go out. It was short but long enough for me to confirm that he’s a
death eater which means he’s fair game.

My left hand grips his shoulder while my right drives the knife up just behind his chin.
Twisting the knife clockwise, I yank the blade out and listen as a small thud echoes
throughout the room as his body falls to the ground. The noise is enough to alert the others
within the room. Based on the footsteps, I would wager there’s just a little over a dozen
individuals in here.

“Corner. Now.” I command. As soon as I hear Potter, Granger and Freckles shuffle back I
narrow my eyes to help focus in on the shadowed figures walking towards me. “It’s been
awhile.” I announce. “Please be gentle with me.” My taunting tone sends them flying
forward.
The first one, a rather fat, not broad.. FAT shadow closes in on me. His arm swings around,
the tip of his blade catching in the moonlight. I have all the time in the world to avoid his
knife seeing as the fat lard is practically moving in slow motion, standards have really fallen
this time around when it comes to the Reformation I see. Ducking, I simultaneously step
around and cut open the back of his ankle. He lets out an agonized groan as he bends down to
reach for the wound, I stand up and bury my blade into the back of his neck. Kicking him
from behind, I remove the knife and turn on my heels, the person who was attempting to
sneak up behind me walks straight into my knife.

“Whoops.” I say before kicking his knee in.

The figures keep coming at me like there’s some machine in the back popping a new one out
every time one falls. I don’t mind though, you could even go as far as to say that I’m having
fun. At one point my knife gets lodged in the side of one of their necks, before I can retrieve
it I feel a hand on my shoulder.

“Please don’t touch me, my lovely lady spent all morning making sure there were no
wrinkles.” I casually say before peeling his hand off of me and yanking his arm forward. As
the man winces at his shoulder being pulled out of its socket, I place my hands on either side
of face and swiftly twist, breaking his neck. With my knife still stuck in some tart’s neck, I
decide it’s time for the improv portion of tonight’s show.

Picking out an umbrella from the basket in the corner, I swing it around just as another death
eater rushes toward me, the wooden handle cracking against his temple. Flipping the
umbrella around in my hand, I drive the tip of it down into his right eye. Next, I spot a teacup
on the table near the window, Granger would love it. It has little birds and flowers, I should
grab it for her. On my way over to the table I snap two more necks. With the teacup now in
my hand, I admire the artwork painted across the exterior but then suddenly, it’s knocked
from my grasp and crashes to ground.

“What the fuck man?!” Annoyance lacing my words as I look up at the hairy prat. “That was
extremely rude. Do you have anything to say?”

He mutters something in a language I fail to decipher.

“Do you come with subtitles? Because I haven’t a clue what you just said.”

“Die.” He growls.

“Oh, so you do speak English.” I scoff. “Which means you understood when I said it was
rude of you to knock the cup from my hand. Apologize now, I’ll wait.” Crossing my arms, I
stare at him with a blank expression, my right brow ever so slightly arched.

His shoulders drop and face softens as he stares back at me. “S-sorry?” He struggles to get
out.

“See, now was that so hard?” Bending down, I pick up the largest broken piece of the cup
which still has the handle attached to it. “Look at what you’ve done…?” I tilt my head
forward slightly, prompting him to give me his name.
“Romee.” He answers.

“Romee, that’s a nice name. Now Romee, as I was saying, look at what you’ve done to this
beautiful teacup. I was going to give this to that girl over there.” My finger raising and
pointing over at Granger, she awkwardly waves at us and Romee offers an equally awkward
wave in return. “I was going to give this to her.” I continue, his attention turning back to me.

“Pretty girl.” He says.

“Yes, she is very pretty and so was this teacup Romee!” My voice raising causing his head to
fall in shame. “I just got her back. I’m still trying to win her over and this cup would’ve
really helped in that department but thanks to your temper I’m shit out of luck. What do you
have to say for yourself?”

“Romee is sorry.” He says under his breath.

“Yeah, Romee should be sorry.” I scold. “I’ll tell you what, you can make it up to me by
telling me where your boss is.”

“Boss?” His head cocking.

“Yes, boss. B-O-S-S. You know, the person you take orders from because I know it wasn’t
any of those incompetent wankers.”

He turns around and looks at the area behind him which is covered in dead bodies. “Boss not
them.” He tells me. I swear I think I’m getting dumber with each minute I spend in this man’s
presence.

“I’m fully aware, Romee.” I groan as I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Where is your actual
boss then?” He points above him. “Upstairs?” He nods. “Just him?” He nods again.
“Wonderful, thank you for doing something correctly for once.”

“Romee is sorry for breaking pretty girl’s cup.”

“Yeah, I know you are. All is forgiven, okay?”

“Okay.”

I pat his shoulder and cross the room over to where Granger is. “Here, I got you this.”
Handing her the cup, which is now just a handle, she offers me an extremely confused thanks.

“Let’s go.” I motion for them to follow me.

As we’re making our way up the stairs Potter asks “Why would you leave the one guy?”

“That guy has a name and it’s Rodney.” I shoot back at him.

“Erm, Draco.” Granger chimes in. “It was actually Romee, I overheard you say it.”

“No, it was Rodney.”

“No, it was definitely Romee.”

Stopping mid step I say “Really? Hmm, whatever. Rodney, Romee, it doesn’t really matter. In
regards to your query Potter, the loaf of a man isn’t a threat to us. If needed, you could
probably take him out, which says a lot.”

When we reach the second floor Granger instructs Potter and Freckles to check the rooms
down the left hall and that she and I will take the right. The first three rooms contain nothing
but beds but when I kick in the fourth door I have to quickly grab Granger as she tries to bolt
towards the individual in front of us. I’ve never seen Granger this angry, there’s a thirst for
blood in her eyes that actually has me concerned.

“Calm down, love. You need to try and calm down.” I whisper into her ear. “We’ll take care
of him, he’ll get what he deserves. I promise.” This manages to relax her, at least enough to
where I feel comfortable releasing her from my hold.

“Dolohov.” I say, stepping forward. “Still just as ugly as I remember.”

“And you’re still holding onto that mudblood of yours I see, Lieutenant.” He sneers. “Or
should I just refer to you by your last name? Considering you decided to switch allegiance.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, my allegiance has always been with Granger but it’s not
surprising you failed to figure that out, things quite often flew right over your head if I
remember correctly. Pray tell, how’s my favorite little furry monster?”

“Greyback is just fine, he’s actually with your father right now.”

“How unfortunate for him.” I retort.

His brow lifts. “You don’t seem even the least bit vexed by the mention of your father.”

“Am I supposed to be?”

This time, he lets out a chuckle. “So you still don’t know. It’s alright Malfoy, we all fall
behind sometimes.”

What the fuck is this prick on about? Don’t know what? And why should the mention of my
father annoy me? I mean, he is an annoying man but I threw out any reactions when it came
to him a long time ago. I really hate when people speak in such vague terms, just say what
you want to say, no need for the riddles and other bullshit.

“You son of a bitch!” The sound of Granger’s voice snaps me from my thoughts. Dammit. I
trail off for one damn minute and this witch goes running at someone with a knife. Wait.
Knife? Looking down at my holsters I see that one is missing and is now in her right hand as
she heads straight for Dolohov. She does manage to cut into his abdomen. I’m not surprised
she was able to do so, I had nothing but faith in her when it came to that. What I’m surprised
about is the fact that she actually fucking did it and Dolohov seems to be right there with me.

He stares down at his fresh wound in complete shock but as Granger goes to swipe at him
again I see his eyes darken. Yeah, that’s my cue. He’s about to turn on her but I reach him
 first. Grabbing his arm, I twist it back and break his forearm in half causing him to drop to
his knees.

“Tsk, you’ve gotten sloppy Dolohov.” I say before connecting my fist with his temple, his
body toppling over. “Don’t you remember what I taught you?” The front of my shoe meets
his stomach. “Always keep track of all of your opponents.” I bend over and lift his head by
his hair. “Love?” I call out. Granger steps around and positions herself in front of me.

“Yes?”

“I know Dolohov is one of the few individuals Lupin requested be brought back alive but
you’re the one running point on this assignment. What’s your call?”

She doesn’t even hesitate before saying “Execute.”

“With pleasure.” I smirk. In one fluid motion, I slip the knife from my side holster and run it
across the mid of his neck. Dropping him, I stand and join Granger’s side as we both watch
as Dolohov drowns in his own blood.

I still haven’t gotten around to asking her if she remembers events that took place where it
was just her and I, like obliviating her parents as a result of Dolohov’s suggestion to kidnap
them. I mean she has to, right? That’s the only thing that would make sense for her to go
against direct orders from Lupin, a man she respects more than bloody Albus Dumbledore. I
guess I could ask her now, it seems like appropriate timing.

“Granger do you–”

“What. The. Fuck.” A sudden voice cutting me off.

I roll my eyes as I prepare myself for what I’m sure will be a lengthy speech from Potter on
how I’m in deep shit for killing Dolohov. Turning around, I begin to say “Potter, for once
remove the stick from your–” but the words catch in the back of my throat as my eyes land
on the individual who is in fact not scarhead. He’s staring back at me with a distressed
expression, a look I’m sure I’m also in possession of at this very moment.

No. Fucking. Way.

“Draco, is that– is that really you?”

“It’s been awhile, Theo.”

Chapter End Notes

small edits have been made 11/8/2022

 Chapter 88
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Theo remains frozen in the doorway, his jaw hanging as he stares at me like I’m some sort of
ghost. He aggressively rubs his eyes and when he looks over at me again he seems even more
surprised that I’m still standing before him.

“Theo..” I say as I cross the room. He raises both of his hands, warning me to not come any
closer but I keep stepping forward. One step and then another and another. I can hear the
sound of his unsteady breaths as I take one final step in. “Theo.” I say once more. “It’s
fucking good to see you brother.” As soon as my hand rests down on his shoulder he throws
his arms around me. We’ve never been the affectionate sort but just like the last time we saw
one another, we make an exception. His fingers claw at my jacket like I’m about to vanish
into thin air at any moment.

“You’re alive.” His voice wavers. “You’re fucking alive.”

“I won’t be for much longer if you keep squeezing me like this.” I choke out as his arms
slowly crush my ribs. He releases his hold on me and takes a step back only to then swing his
arm around, his fist making direct contact with my jaw. “What the fuck was that for?!” I ask,
spitting the blood from my mouth onto the floor and working my jaw.

“That’s for not telling us that you were still alive, you son of a bitch!” He ridicules. “Do you
know how many nights I spent consoling Pans because of you? How many bottles of
firewhiskey I consumed because I thought my best friend was dead? Even Blaise was messed
up! He didn’t make a single joke for a whole month. A MONTH! Do you know how bad he
had to have been for that to happen? And this whole time you were alive?!”

“It’s not like I was given a stationery kit while in prison to write you some love letters Theo.”
I argue, my voice remaining calm while his only grows angrier.

“If I know anything about you it’s that you’re fully capable of charming whoever to
get whatever it is you want so don’t give me that bullshit mate!” He shouts as he goes to
punch me again but this time I stop his fist with my hand.

“Calm down.”

“Fuck you!” He swings his left fist around but I stop that one as well.

“Theo!” My voice raising as I push him up against the wall. “Calm. Down.”

“You let me believe that you were dead!”

“Not on purpose.”
“Three years mate.” His voice cracking as his anger fades and tears begin to fill his eyes.
“Three fucking years. I thought I lost you. I.. I t-thought I lost my family.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” I sigh. “But you should’ve known you couldn’t get rid of
me that easily.” The corner of my mouth lifting up into a smirk in an attempt to lighten the
mood.

“You’re a proper git, you know that?”

“I’m fully aware.” Releasing both of his fists, I pull him into me again and whisper “I’ve
missed you mate.” He hesitates for a moment but eventually wraps his arms around me, soft
sobs escaping the back of his throat.

“I missed you too.”

-*-

Once Theo was able to calm down he and I spent around an hour catching up. He tells me
that thanks to the wards I implemented they were able to stay at the France estate this entire
time without any disturbances. I was hoping they would hold up, I didn’t know if my father
would attempt to go there.

My father.

Why does he keep getting brought up? First Pansy’s dad and now Dolohov. And why can’t
they just tell me what it is I apparently don’t know? I’m not a Ravenclaw for fucks sake, I
don’t get off on figuring out riddles. Some bluntness would be greatly appreciated.

“So yeah, that’s about it for me.” Theo says.

“I’m just relieved to hear that you didn’t lose your head and marry Pans.” I mock.

“Piss off.” He says, punching my arm. “We talked about it but it didn’t feel right. It felt…”
He trails off.

“Desperate?” I finish for him, my brow arching.

“Do you want me to punch you again? Because I will, though I don’t think miss golden girl
would appreciate me messing up your pretty little face.”

Glancing over my shoulder, I watch as Granger talks with Potter and freckles. Potter was a bit
ticked when he found us in the room and saw Dolohov’s lifeless body on the ground. She
tried to take the blame for it but I stepped in. I was the one to kill the bastard after all and I
would have regardless of her answer. I still need to find out how much she knows about him.

“What about you?” Theo asks, pulling my attention back to him.

“What about me?”

“Has marriage been a topic of discussion for you and the little lion?”

“I-” My voice catching and face growing warm as all of my blood rushes to my cheeks. I
forgot he doesn’t know about her situation. “No.” I manage to croak out, though it’s a lie.
I’ve always thought about a life with Granger, a full life, just her and I. For some time I
figured we’d take over the manor but after what happened to her there– let’s just say I quickly
scrapped that idea.

No. We’d live in a cottage in the countryside, somewhere peaceful and away from
civilization. Somewhere she and I could be free from the judgement of society. Just like the
dream I had some years ago, she’d plant flowers in the front and I’d be utterly useless when it
came to helping but I’d do so anyway because I’d just be happy to spend time with her. We
would host dinners for our friends during the holidays and if that vile cat of hers is still alive I
suppose he could join us too.

We’d spend the first few years of our marriage just enjoying one another’s company,
enjoying being able to finally have some peace and quiet but then eventually we’d start a
family. If I could choose, we’d have a son first and then a daughter so that she had someone
to protect her, not that she would need any of the sort – she would be the daughter of
Hermione Granger after all. Our daughter will never be allowed to date though, at least not
until she’s 50.. even then we’d have to have a discussion about it. Now names, honestly I
hadn’t thought that far yet but what I had thought about was how much love they would
receive. It would probably be so much that they’d be repulsed by it but I don’t give a rats
arse, I never want my children to go a day feeling like they aren’t good enough or cared and
loved for. Granger would be an excellent mother and I’d do everything I could to be an
equally excellent father.

Hermione Jean Malfoy — it has a nice ring to it.

Or would I take her last name? I’d take her last name if she wanted.

Draco Lucius Granger.

Or would we hyphenate?

Mrs. Hermione Jean Malfoy-Granger and Mr. Draco Lucius Malfoy-Granger.

Granger-Malfoy?

“Oi, did you hear me?” Theo asks, snapping his fingers in front of my face.

“Huh? No. Sorry. What did you say?”

“I was asking how things were going between the two of you. I have to say, she seems a bit
off. Barely even offered me a tip of the head when I said hi to her, I thought she and I bonded
during our months at the Weasley cottage.”

Well, I guess now is as good a time as any to fill him in. I start from the beginning – the
battle at Hogwarts. I tell him how Voldemort stabbed her and how I then got knocked out,
how I woke up and my mother told me she was dead and then me going and seeing Lupin. I
then tell him about getting released from Azkaban and seeing her at the ministry, how she
then proceeded to dig her wand into my throat and finding out that she had no recollection of
me. It made me nauseous to fill him in on the details of her and Weaslebee but once I got to
the part where I broke every bone in his body I felt better. Wrapping up, I tell him about the
odd deja vu including her gifting me yet another watch and end it off with the most recent
developments.

“Let me get this straight.” He says as he shakes his head. “Granger’s memory of you was
somehow wiped and you still managed to get that witch to fall in love with you again?”

“I didn’t say she was in love.” I correct him. “But in general terms, yes.”

“Look mate, I know you’ve always been the first to scoff at the idea of soulmates but.. you
know what? Fuck it. I’m just going to say it.” Yes, thank you Theo, someone who will just
get to the damn point. “You and Granger are soulmates which is kind of fucked up if you ask
me.”

“How so?” I question.

“You two couldn’t have been born on further ends of the scale. She was bathed in the light
her whole life while you were drowned in the darkness. I guess it makes sense why you two
would be drawn to one another but it’s fucked in the sense that from the very first day you
were set up to fail. It’s like handing a first year a broken broom and expecting them to go fly
around and not crash.”

As much as I hate him for saying that, I can’t argue because I’ve always felt that way. Our
fates had been written the day we were born and it certainly didn’t end with the two of us
running off into the sunset. I’m beginning to think the moronic false hope that comes with
being a Gryffindor is contagious because as of late I’ve found myself overflowing with just
that. Like Theo said, I’m not a believer when it comes to soulmates but what Granger and I
have is the closest damn thing to it. The sound of someone clearing their throat earns our
attention. Theo looks past me while I turn to face the individual, I should've figured it would
be Potter.

"I understand that it's been some time since the two of you have seen each other but I feel the
need to remind you that we've just gone against strict ministry orders." Always the first to
bring down the mood. "Lupin will be expecting my report by the end of the day and once he
gets word of what has happened I can't say he'll be very happy with us."

"I have a suggestion." I say. "Don't tell him."

"What?!" He asks, his voice full of shock. He's looking at me like I've just suggested we kill
the man, leave it to Potter to always be the overdramatic one.

"Open your ears Potter, I really do hate repeating myself." I groan. "Don't. Tell. Him."

"Ah yes let me not only break the single rule we were given, fail to turn in a report and since
we're at it why don't we just go full on rogue!"

"Brilliant idea, I didn't realize you were capable of such a thing." Getting up to my feet, I turn
back to Theo. "You wouldn't happen to have some extra space where you're staying, would
you?"

"We could figure something out." He tells me as he also stands.

"Wonderful, all those in favor of Potter's plan?" Granger and freckles take very little time to
raise their hands and agree, Potter on the other hand is throwing a full on fit.

"We can't do this!" He argues. "We're already in deep enough shit as it is."

"It was your idea."

"I was being sarcastic!"

"You know what sarcasm is?" I question. "Hmm, perhaps you do have some redeeming
qualities. Anyways, it's too late Potter. Everyone has already agreed and Theo just told me
that they have information on the whereabouts of the remaining death eaters."

"You do?" Granger directs at Theo as she steps forward.

He nods. "I've been tracking Greyback ever since I caught word of their return, he and I have
some unfinished business. During my research on him I managed to gather data on the entire
lot."

"This is fantastic news!" She exclaims.

"Hermione!" Potter whines.

"Oh come on Harry, you want to get rid of them just as much as I do and if Theo really has
their locations then it would be ridiculous to not accept. Unless you'd prefer to continue night
long stakeouts that rarely ever produce anything."

"Fine but I still think this is a bad idea." He mutters.

-*-
Now this is a hotel that's up to my standards. Free drinks upon entrance, employees opening
doors for you and not a single muggle in sight. I'm beginning to think freckles purposefully
chose that shit hotel on purpose, she always was annoying like that. Potter continues to drag
his feet and mumble about how much trouble we're going to be in, specifically me, but I'm
too focused on Granger to pay much attention to it.

"Can I ask you something?" I say to her as we wait outside the room for Theo to come get us.
He said he needed some time to explain everything to Blaise and Pansy before we all waltzed
on in.

"Sure, what is it?" She asks.

"Back there with Dolohov, you seemed... I don't know." I don't want to say different or not
like herself because for all I know a murderous look in her eye could be very much like her
these days. "What do you remember about him?" She crosses her arms and readjusts her
stance, the question clearly causing some sort of discomfort. "You don't have to tell me." I
say. "I was just curious as to if your lost memories of me also bled into events that I was in
attendance for."

"No, it's fine." She assures me. "I don't necessarily remember anything about him. Gin and
Harry had told me early on that he was the reason I ended up obliviating my parents, they
also told me that you were there for me and were the one to set up their new lives in
Australia. I can't say I remember that either. I've always wanted to find him, to make him hurt
for taking my parents away from me but back there, I don't know how to describe it. Once I
looked into his eyes something came over me. They weren't actual memories coming back
but more like feelings, angry feelings. It reminds me of how I felt when I was first around
you, I couldn't exactly place it at the time but it was sort of like muscle memory only
emotional. I don't know, I'm probably not making any sense."

"You're making perfect sense, love." I tell her as I lift her chin. "I'm sorry you're having to
experience that, it must be confusing."

"It is or rather, it was. But I think me constantly trying to fight against it was what made it so
hard. You can only suppress for so long before everything boils over, you know?"

Yeah. I fucking know.

The room door swings open and Theo's head pops out. "Well come on then." He says as he
waves us in. There's a pair of muffled voices, the higher pitched one dominating the other. It's
very rare that Pansy isn't ticked off about something but this tone of hers is unfamiliar to me.
As I turn the corner, Blaise wastes no time in running up and throwing his arms around me.
I'm doing my best to be present and comfort him but her eyes are burning through me and I
can see her anger level rising drastically with every second that passes.

"Hey mate, it's great to see you." I tell Blaise as I pull out from the hug. "You look good."
"I know right." He smirks as he pretends to flip his imaginary hair. "I've been doing this thing
called skincare, you put a bunch of oils and shit on your face. Feel it." He grabs my hand and
smacks it onto his cheek. "Soft right?"

"Yeah, the softest." I chuckle. Man I've missed this guy. "I'd love to catch up more but if you
don't mind?" His gaze follows mine over to Pansy and he nods his head before stepping
aside. "Hey Pans." I smile at her. "I like the new hairstyle."

She marches forward, and just like her boyfriend, she immediately begins yelling at me while
slapping my chest. "Hey Pans?! I like the new hairstyle?! You fucking cunt!" Pansy screams
in-between slaps. "I fucking cried over you! I grieved you for months and this entire time you
were just hanging out?!"

"To be fair, I wasn't 'hanging out', I was in prison."

"SHUT UP!"

In the past I wouldn't have taken so kindly to such words but considering the circumstances, I
allow her to continue on with her little fit. I get the anger she has right now, grieving
someone and then finally accepting only to then find out that they're still alive is one hell of a
thing. She continues to slap, punch and even kick me for another fifteen minutes before
finally, she breaks down and collapses into my arms. Gently lowering the both of us down
onto the floor, I lean my back against the wall as I hold her.

"I h-hated my-myself for l-leaving you t-that day." She cries out. "I t-thought you were g-
gone forever."

"It's okay Pans." I whisper. "I'm here."

Theo must've escorted everyone into the other room because when I look around I see that it's
just her and I, unlike before when she was hitting me and everyone stood in the hallway
staring at us. It's almost heartbreaking seeing her like this, how broken she is and feeling her
body shake in my arms. I can't imagine what she must've been like all those years ago when
she thought I was dead and selfishly, I never want to. It was hard enough seeing the look in
Theo's eyes when he saw me and then Blaise and now Pansy, the strain in their voices. It's too
much for me to handle.

I never really took the time to think about what it would be like for them to see me again.
Granted, I never expected it to happen. But now here we are, all in the same room and it feels
like no time and all of the time in the world has passed. They look the same for the most part,
just a bit older which makes sense. None of us have ever verbalized how much the other
means to us, the closest we came to it was during the battle at Hogwarts. I think we've all
been too proud, too afraid, to ever do so. It's not like any of us grew up in a household that
allowed such vulnerability.

Almost an hour has passed when Pans finally calms down. Calms down is maybe the wrong
way to put it. She cried and cried until there was nothing left and then she fell asleep in my
arms. Theo came out to check on us and when he saw she was sleeping he carefully picked
her up and carried her to their room. The next half hour was filled with silence. No one knew
what to say or how to act really. Today was filled with so many different emotions and I think
we're all just drained, I know I am. While I was with Pans they all sorted out the sleeping
arrangements. Theo and Pans in one room, Potter and freckles in another and Blaise kindly
offered to take the couch so Granger and I could have a room. It's a quarter past midnight by
the time we all collectively decide to get some sleep. Even as we made our way to the rooms
no one said a single word. It's not until Granger and I are alone and she closes the door that I
finally hear the sound of something other than the low humming noise of the ceiling fan.

"Are you okay?" She asks. I don't know why but her question manages to crack the wall that
keeps me from constantly having to face my emotions. I'm not occluding again, even though
I've thought about it, but I have been filing certain things away. Protective barriers are what I
referred to them as. I was a wreck on my birthday and I knew if I didn't do something I
wouldn't be able to be near her. "Draco." She says as she walks towards me. "You know you
can talk to me, right? You don't always have to appear so strong." Those words are what
finally do it for me. My legs give out and I fall to my knees. Granger is quick to bend down
and pull me into her. My hands are gripping onto her arm, to her waist, her shirt, everything.
Just like Theo was with me, I'm holding onto her as if any moment now she'll just fade away.

I don't even know why I'm crying. I'm happy, I really am. I have everyone back. I have my
friends and most importantly I have my Granger but yet I'm still crying. If I'm being honest I
think I'm scared which pains me to admit. I'm never scared, or at least I don't ever
acknowledge if I am. Acknowledging makes it a reality. I don't want to be scared but fuck.
I'm terrified. There. I said it. I'm terrified because I know how this goes, I know how my life
works. I'm happy for a moment and then something will happen, someone will be taken from
me and I can't. I can't do that again. I'm tired of losing people, I'm tired of goodbyes, I'm tired
of never knowing what's going to happen next. I've always tried so hard to gain control over
the situation but I always fail. I'm a fucking failure just like my father said. No matter what I
do, no matter how hard I try, and I really fucking try, it's never good enough.

I'm never good enough.

June 16 2001

It's a slow morning which feels wrong for some reason. Maybe it's because of how high
strung Potter was just last night about us abandoning our posts or because of all the intense
emotions that seemed to suffocate me. Regardless, it feels weird. I feel weird. I sobbed like a
fucking child in Granger's arms last night. She didn't make me talk about it which I was
thankful for, though I think the reason for that was because she knew. I don't know how she
knew but she did. It's like she could just see everything I was feeling and I love her for that.

"Thank you." She smiles up at me as I hand her a cup of tea. I lean down and kiss her
forehead before settling into the seat beside her.
"You two are still as revolting as before." Pansy scoffs. At least she's back to normal.

"Alright, here we have it." Theo states, dropping a stack of parchment onto the table.

"What's all of this?" Granger asks as she picks one up and begins reading it over.

"Everything I have collected on the death eaters since their return." He informs her.

"This is rather... extensive." She says as she looks over at me with wide eyes and holds up the
parchment. You've got to be kidding me. If I'm seeing this correctly Theo has gone as far as
to taking notes on their bathroom breaks. When all of this is over I think we should have him
evaluated, maybe Glenice has some availability in his schedule to see him.

We spend the morning reading over all of his notes. From what I've gathered, the group that I
took out last night was nothing more than a bunch of new recruits. Dolohov was there to train
them which checks out. The ones that we really want are separated into two groups, one was
last seen in Bristol and the other in Cardiff. Theo had originally thought Greyback would've
been with Dolohov seeing as he helped him last time with training but since he failed to make
an appearance yesterday, he's come to the conclusion that he must be with one of the other
packs.

"Would it be possible that Greyback is at the head of all of this?" Freckles questions.

"Highly unlikely." I reply. "Greyback's brain is comparable to that of a walnut. While they
may be sloppier this time around their strategy is far too complex. Greyback would've never
thought to split everyone up. Also the letter that the ministry received actually made sense, I
don't think that man is capable of forming a single coherent sentence."

"It's true." Blaise adds. "I think he reads at a second year level, if he can even read at all.
Whenever I'd be with him and he'd receive a note he'd make me read it out to him but even
then he seemed to have a hard time understanding."

"So what's the plan then?" Potter asks as he joins us at the table.

"Well look who finally decided to stop pouting." I smirk over at him.

"I wasn't pouting." He argues as he quite literally pouts.

"The plan is simple." Theo says. "We go here." His finger pointing at the map. "We find
Greyback and we kill him."

"And the rest of the death eaters." Granger chimes in.

"And the rest of the death eaters." He reiterates. "Questions?"

"Several." Potter replies. "But I'm guessing I'm not going to get any answers, am I?"

"Aw, he really has developed a brain." Theo directs at me.

"I told you." I reply. "It's like watching a child walk for the first time."
"I hate both of you.”

4:30 pm

I haven’t been to Bristol in what seems like forever. My family and I used to come here often
during the summer and by my family I mean my mother. My father was always too busy with
something more important. Everything was always more important than us. I was fine with it
though, I knew if he were to come he’d ruin it all. Whenever it was just my mother and I the
stress that I was almost constantly in possession of would dissipate.

It still looks the same, at least from the little I was able to see. Unfortunately we aren’t here
for a nice day out, we’re here to fulfill a lifelong dream of Theo’s — killing Fenrir Greyback.

The building in front of us looks like an abandoned warehouse but I guess that’s the point,
right? To appear as a seemingly abandoned building? I swear if muggles just took two
seconds to look closely instead of glossing over everything they would’ve discovered us
decades ago. Such simple minded creatures.

“Remember the plan.” Theo whispers to everyone. “Draco and I will take the lead. Once we
send the signal the rest of you will file in behind. Got it?”

They all nod their heads to let him know that they understand. Releasing Granger’s hand, I
step forward and join him. We move in sync as we approach the front door. Whoever is here
is at least smarter than the others because the door is both locked and warded. I motion for
Granger to move up and she does.

“All yours.” I say as I move over to the side to give her space. Removing her wand, she
begins working on the ward. It takes her less than thirty seconds to break through and unlock
the door. “Magnificent.”

“Not really, that was a rather simple one.” She says.

“You’ve misunderstood me, love. I wasn’t referring to the ward.” I smirk, her cheeks
instantly turning red as she tries to hide her smile.

Theo and I proceed forward and carefully sweep the front area. Once we confirm that it’s
clear we signal the others to join us. With everyone now directly behind us, we move further
into the building. The first room is empty as is the second and third. We’re just about to
check upstairs when a distant voice catches our attention. Theo raises his hand to signal for
everyone to halt. We wait until we hear the voice again and once we do we head straight for
it.

There’s only a rusted metal door between us and whoever it is on the other side. Different
looks are shared amongst our group and I can only pray that we’re all on the same page. Theo
counts us down from three with his fingers, the second his pointer finger drops we push the
door open and what we’re met by isn’t surprising by any means but it is irritating, at least for
me. I was really hoping they’d be spread throughout the building so I could really relish in it
all but instead the entire lot decided to convene in a single room. Based on my quick scan of
the area, I’d say there’s about twenty-five of them. Good odds, for us.. not them.

Theo immediately takes the left while I take the right and everyone else scatters about to
cover any empty spaces. My knife hasn’t seen this much action in so long, it’s sort of nice
doing this again. I have to make sure to not mention that to Glenice, surely that wouldn’t go
over well with him. I’ve just broken some man’s neck over my knee when I look over and see
Granger gracefully making her way across the floor as she interchanges between using her
wand and the knife that I had given her. What an absolutely stunning woman. My hand lifts
and rests down on my chest just over my heart as I watch in complete awe as she slides her
blade along the mid of some guy’s neck.

My gawking is interrupted when, out of the corner of my eye, I see an individual lunging
straight for me, his knife heading for my face. Holding out my hand, my fingers wrap around
his wrist to stop him. Yanking him forward, I snap the bone in his arm and lift his head up by
the back of his hair.

“Do you see that woman over there that just slit your buddy’s throat open?” I ask. He
attempts to nod but his movements are limited due to my hold on him. “That’s my girlfriend.”
I proudly state. “I swear to Merlin I’m going to marry her one day. I’d wager the ceremony
will take place outside, somewhere quiet and only a small group of people in attendance.
Gods she’s going to look so breathtaking in white. Shame you won’t live to see it, it’s going
to be beautiful.” Twisting his already broken arm behind him, I hear his shoulder pop out. His
agonized wail is silenced when I take his face between my hands and swiftly twist causing
his neck to snap.

I must say, it’s strange to see Pans and Blaise in such a combative state. Perhaps it’s because
during their time as death eaters they were rarely ever out in the field and if they were, it was
purely for observation. But not now. I just got to witness Blaise cut some poor bastard’s
stomach open and Pans just kicked another’s knee in and then drove her knife into his temple.
Even Potter and freckles have left a trail of bodies. This is nice. It’s like we’re one big family.

“Having fun are we?” The thud of a body dropping onto the floor is the last thing I hear
before turning around to see Greyback standing in the doorway. “A bit rude to not only
trespass but also kill a majority of my men.” Greyback says. “But it is good to see that even
after all these years you’ve both retained the skills I so kindly taught you.” There’s a smug
look painted on his face as his eyes flick over to Theo. Stay calm mate, don’t let him get to
you. “Still have a daddy sized chip on our shoulder I see.” He taunts.

Fuck this guy.

It takes only a quick shared glance between Theo and I for us to understand what the other is
thinking. We both dart forward at the same time, Theo sweeps his legs out from under him.
As soon as his back crashes onto the floor I press my foot down on his neck.

“Greyback.” I smirk. “Hope you managed to get the fleas under control.” When he tries to
speak I add more weight, his face already beginning to turn a shade of purple due to the lack
of oxygen. “As much as I’d love to be the one to kill you, I couldn’t possibly take the
opportunity away from the one who truly deserves to do so.” Bending down, I grab him by
the front of his shirt and drag him over to where a chair lay on the ground. Still holding onto
him, I pick up the chair with my free hand and flip it open. Throwing Greyback into the seat,
I retrieve the knife from my thigh holster, flip it in my hand, drive it down into his upper
thigh and drag it down to his knee. “That one was for you.” I tell him. “If my memory serves
me right, that’s your favorite move.”

He tries to shoot up to his feet as he reaches out for me but the action only causes the already
large wound to worsen and for more blood to begin pouring out from his leg. “Tsk, you know
better than to make such abrupt movements when injured Greyback.” I tut. “Now be a good
boy and sit.” Pushing him back into the chair, I step around so that I’m now standing behind
him.

I’m really proud of how calm Theo appears to be. To be honest, I expected him to have
already cut his head off. Perhaps he’s finally learned the importance of foreplay. Theo
saunters over as he sharpens one of his knives with the other. Ooh, very creepy. I like it.

“Remember that one time I had my knife to your throat dear old Fenrir?” Theo asks.

No response.

Leaning down so my mouth is near his ear I say “Hey buddy, when you’re asked a question
the polite thing to do is respond.” Slipping a knife from my chest holster, I bury it into his
right bicep causing him to let out a pain filled groan. “Ah so you are still in possession of
your voice, how about we use it to answer my friend’s question hmm?”

“Yes.” He says through gritted teeth.

“What was that?” I ask as I remove the knife from his bicep only to then lodge it in his
forearm. “Speak up.” I command. “If you do, we might give you a treat.”

“Yes.” He says louder this time.

Whoever said it was hard to train dogs clearly wasn’t doing it right because that was
extremely easy.

Theo’s now standing directly in front of Greyback and despite him still appearing to be calm
on the outside I can see the rage beginning to flood his eyes. He’s been talking about killing
this pinhead for, well, forever. I’m just glad I get to be here to witness it finally happen. In
one fluid motion, Theo clears the remaining space between them and pushes the edge of his
knife into Greyback’s throat, blood droplets slowly trickling down onto his hand.

“Unlike last time, I won’t be talked out of doing this.” Theo says. “But I’m a nice guy, so if
you have any last words the floor is all yours.”

“Lucius Malfoy.”
Man what the hell? Way to ruin the mood. I was having so much fun and then my father just
had to be brought up.

“What about him?” Theo questions as he adds more pressure, his hand almost fully painted
red now.

“Based on your reply, I’d say you still don’t know.” Greyback chokes out.

“Just kill him already Theo.” I groan.

“No, wait.” He says to me before returning his attention to Greyback. “Still don’t know
what?”

“How much of a part he’s played in all of this, in the girl’s condition.”

What the fuck did he just say?

Stepping around, I grip onto the back of the chair and lean into him, my eyes darkening and
jaw clenching.

“What about her condition? What does my father have to do with it?” I question. He just
smiles, even laughs. Looking over at Theo I say “May I?” He shrugs and pulls the knife away
just long enough for me to slap the dickhead across the face and then promptly returns the
blade to the mid of his throat. “Answer the question Greyback.” I command.

“Who hates you most in the world, Malfoy?”

Easy, my father.

“And who would do whatever he could to make your life miserable? To make you suffer?”

Once again, my father.

I don’t see how… and then it clicks. Taking a few steps back, I run my hand through my hair
and then down the length of my face.

“Mate, what is it?”

“Kill him.” I snap at Theo. “Do what you’ve always wanted and kill the smug bastard. I have
to go.”

“Where?”

“The manor.”
Chapter End Notes

Hillman one shot - https://archiveofourown.org/works/42893379

 Chapter 89

“What do you mean the manor?” Pansy calls out from across the room.

“Wait, we’re going to the manor?” Blaise asks.

“What’s this about the manor?” Potter adds.

“I’ve always wanted to see the infamous manor!” Freckles chimes in.

Granger is the only one who doesn’t say anything.

Greyback’s body topples over onto the ground, his hands gripping onto his neck as the gash
from Theo’s knife spurts out blood.

“We aren’t going to the manor.” He says as he approaches me. It takes only a minute or so for
everyone else to huddle around as well and they’re all talking at the same time and their
voices are echoing so much in this giant empty fucking room, I can’t even hear my own
thoughts as the sound of theirs overpowers and my eyes are now locked onto Granger’s and
there’s worry in them. Worry for me or for herself I really couldn’t tell you right now because
everyone is too loud and the voices in my head are too loud and I’m going to fucking lose it.

“Everyone shut up!” Granger shouts, every single one of them immediately falling silent,
their jaws hanging as they stare at her. “Draco.” She says as she clears the distance between
us, her voice calmer – more level. “We can’t go to the manor right now.”

“Granger, if my father–”

She grabs onto my hands, shakes her head and says “We can’t go to the manor right now.
That’s not to say we won’t but in this moment you need time, we all need some time. If you
don’t take a second to process this, to properly plan this through, who knows what will
happen. Let’s go back to the hotel and give it the night, okay?” Why is she the calm one right
now? If what Greyback said means what I think it means, and I’m almost positive it does,
then she should be more infuriated than all of us combined but she’s not. She’s the only one
still thinking straight, thinking logically.

As much as I want to storm into that damn house and tear every limb from my father’s body
right now, I know Granger is right.

7:00 pm

I’m already regretting agreeing to come back to the hotel. Just like at the warehouse,
everyone has been talking nonstop. This is the first time that Granger’s friends and mine are
engaging in a proper conversation, a monumental moment. Too bad the monumental moment
is the most aggravating thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. I fucking hate when people
talk about me like I’m not in the damn room sitting just beside them. I get that they’re
worried, that they just want to keep me safe and all of that other bull shit but they aren’t
going to change my mind. I’m going to the manor, I’m going to go see my father.

“Have you met the man? He’s a full on psychopath!” Potter exclaims.

“You do realize that I practically grew up at the manor, right?” Theo questions.

“All I’m saying is, if Malfoy goes in there then there’s a high chance he won’t come out.”

“Always the optimistic sort Potter.”

“I still don’t see why we’re even wasting our time weighing out the pros and cons.” Pansy
adds. “The answer is simple, none of us are going, especially Draco.”

Not wanting to suffer through another second of this moronic debate, I get up from my seat
and head to my room. Closing the door, I mutter an enchantment to prevent anyone from
entering and also a reverse silencing charm. My shoulders drop as I let out a sigh of relief
- finally some peace and quiet.

Walking over to the mirror in the left corner of the room, I remove my shirt and scan over
every inch of my body. As much as people like to make me sound like someone who loves to
stare at their own reflection, I’m not. I hate what I look like. I’m not saying I’m ugly by any
means, I’m not a daft git. I have no shame in admitting that I’m a good looking guy. My
hatred for my own appearance has nothing to do with my bone structure, muscle mass or the
color of my eyes. It has to do with the scars that cover nearly every inch of my body. It has to
do with the fact that the hatred my father has for me is permanently written into my skin, that
the mistakes I’ve made are constantly staring back at me in the mirror.

I can grow and change, file and sort, attempt to allow others in and do all the good a single
human being is capable of all I want but it won’t change the fact that every day when I wake
and look in the mirror the person staring back at me is still broken. The individual I see will
always carry permanent reminders of every failure and every wrong choice.

There’s a knock and then shortly after follows the sound of the door creaking open. Turning
around, I see the only person I allowed to still have access to the room when casting the ward
who also happens to be the biggest reminder of my failures. The lacerations that paint my
body will never affect me as much as she does. She’s safe and alive but that’s not because of
me. I failed her the second I entered her life, the second I decided to be a selfish dick and
hold onto her. I don’t care that she doesn’t have her memories of me but the only reason her
mind was ever tampered with in the first place is because of me. It had nothing to do with the
fact that her best friend is Harry bloody Potter or that she’s a muggle born. It’s because my
father’s entire life mission is to make sure that I’m miserable and he knew letting her live but
have no recollection of me would do just that.

He did something to her and I want to kill him. I want to go to the manor, rip his throat out
and watch as he struggles to take his last breath. I want to see the look in his eyes as his
disappointment of a son finally succeeds at something.
“We should talk about it.” She says. I disagree. There’s nothing to talk about. For the first
time there’s nothing she can say or do to change my mind. “Draco.” Granger whispers as she
takes my face in her hands. “Look at me, please.” My eyes flick up to hers, my fingers gently
wrapping around her wrists and removing them from my face.

“Sorry love, that’s not going to work this time.” I tell her before walking over to the dresser
where my knives lay.

“You didn’t listen to a single thing anyone was saying out there, did you?” She asks.

“I heard enough.” I say as I pick up two of the knives and slide the edges against one another.

“They think your father wants you to go to him, that he has something planned. They think if
you go there he will try to.. to…”

“To kill me?” My head turning to look over at her. “They’re probably right.” I casually shrug
before returning to my sharpening.

“So that’s it then? You’re going to just walk straight into whatever trap your father has
waiting for you even though you know there’s a high chance you won’t make it out alive all
because a few people have taunted you with his name? You’re just going to give in that easily
huh?”

Granger and I have been playing this whole game of mirroring our past, down to her
repeating exact words, so I’m not surprised that it’s happening right now but I’m also not in
the mood. “So that’s it then? You’re just giving up on yourself that easily huh?” are the exact
words she said to me back at Hogwarts a few weeks before I became a death eater. She didn’t
understand then and she doesn’t understand now. I’m not giving up, I’m doing what needs to
be done. Not feeling like arguing with her, I remain silent and begin sharpening another set of
knives.

“Would you stop with the fucking knives!” She shouts as she rips them from my hands and
slams them down onto the wooden dresser. “Look at me.” She commands. “Draco look at
me!”

My head snaps up and I take a sharp step into her, she jumps slightly at the sudden movement
but her feet remain planted and stance strong as she narrows her eyes to match the look I’m
giving her.

“I realize you don’t have any memory of it but-”

“You said we weren’t bringing them up anymore.” She says, cutting me off.

“I’m. Not. Finished.” I bite out. “You may not remember but I do.” I continue. “I remember
that night. I remember my father dragging you out and throwing you onto the ground at
Voldemort’s feet. I remember my father forcing me to watch as Voldemort buried one of my
knives into your stomach. My. Knife. Hermione. I remember waking up and my mother
telling me that you were gone and then Lupin was saying it and then everyone just kept
fucking talking about it!” I close my eyes and let out a slow deep breath as I attempt to calm
myself down. I don’t want to yell at her, she isn’t who I’m angry with.

“I kept having to hear over and over again about how you were dead.” The pain in my voice
matching the pain that floods my body whenever I think about that day. “I had to relive that
moment in the forbidden forest countless times while in Azkaban and every memory I had of
you haunted me for months, years. Your voice was the only thing I heard most days and it
drove me fucking insane. Every time we’d have some fight about you not liking my choices
I’d say the same thing, that I’m doing what needs to be done and that hasn’t changed. I’m
doing what needs to be done, love. I’m going to the manor, I’m going to see my father and
I’m going to kill him. I’m going to kill him for the way he treated my mother all of these
years, for the things he’s done to me but most of all, I’m going to kill him for what he did to
you. I have failed you more times than I’ll ever care to admit and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I
couldn’t protect you but I swear on my life Hermione, I’m going to do whatever it takes to
make sure nothing like that ever happens to you again but in order to do that I need to go. I
need to see my father.”

Her eyes are softer now and shoulders dropped, like all of the fight in her has disappeared.
Her expression is similar to the one she had when we said goodbye at Hogwarts, when she
thought I was going to die. Granger and everyone else may be right about the possibility of
my father trying to kill me but me going there doesn’t mean I intend on letting him succeed.

“I don’t want you to get hurt.” She chokes out.

“Granger.” I whisper as I tuck a curl behind her ear. “My beautiful Granger.” My thumb
brushing against her cheek. “I meant it all those years ago when I said the only person truly
capable of hurting me is you, everything else is simply an inconvenience.”

“I don’t want you to have to experience more inconveniences.” She says.

I let out a soft chuckle. “My whole life has been nothing but inconveniences. From the day I
was born my father had my life planned out. Who I was going to be, the values I would carry,
what types of friends I would have. I have never been granted the opportunity to decide what
it was that I wanted for myself, not until you. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life love, but
you were never one of them. You, Hermione Jean Granger, are the only thing I’ve ever gotten
right. I would happily endure a life’s worth of agonizing inconveniences if it meant that at the
end of it all I got to be with you. I love you, Hermione.”

“Y-you do? I mean, you still do? Even after everything?”

“Yes and I always will.”

“Draco, I-”

“You don’t need to say it back. I didn’t say it expecting anything in return. I just wanted you
to know, I wanted you to hear me say it. I love you Hermione. I will always love you and I’m
going to spend the rest of my life proving it to you but first I need to go take care of my
father, okay?”
“Okay.”

7:45 pm

Granger and I step out of our room and rejoin the others, their conversations come to an
immediate pause when they take notice of us. I’m just about to speak but Granger beats me to
it.

“We’re going to the manor.”

“What?!” They all collectively say, including me. Everyone is spitting countless questions at
her but they all carry the same context. They think it’s a stupid idea and that it’s the last place
we should be going.

While they all throw a fit I lean into her and whisper “I wasn’t planning on anyone joining
me, including you love.”

“Well that’s too damn bad because we are.” She says before turning back to the rest of the
group. “Isn’t that right?”

“I’m sorry but I think I missed the part where I took orders from you.” Pansy scoffs.

“These aren’t orders.” Granger corrects. “No matter how much we berate Draco he’s still
going to go and we’re all fully aware of that. Theo, Pansy and Blaise, I may not know you
that well or maybe I did at one point but regardless, the one thing that I’m certain of is that
we all care about him. You three, besides Draco himself, are the ones who truly know just
how terrible his father has been to him. Harry and Gin, no matter how much you deny it, I
know that you both care about him too. This isn’t just about a son facing his father, this is
about friends-no- family standing together. If he goes then so do we, he’s had to face enough
in his life alone but this won’t be one of them.”

The room is silent as Theo stands up and walks over to us. He places his hand on my
shoulder and says “I’m with you until the end, brother.”

What a sappy little fuck.

“Until the end.” I reiterate before hugging him. We’ve been doing an awful lot of hugging,
it’s not terrible but I do hope it doesn’t become a regular occurrence. Blaise is the next to
stand and join us, his arms slinging around both of our shoulders as he says “You know me, I
hate being left out.” “Yeah, we know.” Theo and I both say. “I’d follow the both of you into a
burning building.” Blaise says. “The manor isn’t far off from that.”

“I would’ve paid big money to see Lucius Malfoy finally get his arse handed to him.”
Freckles says as she gets up from her seat. “So the chance to see that happen for free? Count
me in. You aren’t going to hug me again, are you?” She asks me.
“I’d rather light myself on fire.” I reply, a smirk creeping its way onto both of our faces.

“Fuck it. I’m going to do it, don’t be nervous, I’ll be gentle.” She says as she spreads her
arms out.

“Back off freckles, I don’t want the muggle aids you contracted from Potter.” I say as I swat
at her arms.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Her arms wrap around my torso and as much as I hate that everyone is
suddenly extremely comfortable with touching me, I hug her back. I didn’t even notice Potter
get up but he’s inserted himself into the hug as well.

“Look at all of us, a real family.” He grins up at me.

“I killed one of my family members.” I retort.

“You’d never kill me.”

“If that’s you challenging me, I accept.”

“It wasn’t a challenge and no you don’t.” He says. “Deep down in that cold heart of yours,
you see me as a friend. I’d even go as far as to say you care about me.”

“The only reason I care about your wellbeing is because for some strange reason, freckles is
into you and I care about her.”

“Awh, you just admitted that you care about me.” She smiles.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Draco Malfoy cares about a Weasley, what a historic day!” She exclaims.

“Alright, I’ve had enough of this.” I groan as I rip away from both freckles’ and Potter’s
grasp. Looking over at Pans, who is still sitting on the couch with her arms crossed, I walk up
to her and hold out my hand. “What do you say Pans? Care to join the bleeding-heart
Gryffindors? I promise you’ll only want to vomit a handful of times.” She gives me her usual
glare and remains silent for a moment as she pretends to think over the offer even though it
was obvious that the moment Granger finished her speech she was on board.

“I guess I can make time in my schedule.” She sighs as she takes my hand and I help her up
to her feet. “But I swear to Salazar if you try to sacrifice your life again I’ll kill you myself.”

“We both know your threats are nothing more than empty promises, Pans.” I smirk.

“I mean it Draco!” She says, slapping my chest. “Promise you’re going to value your life for
once. You aren’t some disposable being, you have people who care about you.”

Apparently it’s not a good time for jokes or teasing. I’ve never seen this witch so serious in
her life, I’m used to a Pansy who is either throwing a fit about some minuscule thing or
batting her eyes at some poor bloke. If Granger wasn’t standing behind me right now I’d
almost think it was her in front of me polyjuiced to look like Pansy. Her hand is on her hip,
weight shifted to one side and she looks both infuriated and scared. It’s Granger to a fucking
t.

If she’s acting like Granger then I’m going to go ahead and assume handling this situation as
if she actually were her would be the best course of action. I’m not going to kiss her or
anything but some reassurance will most likely do the trick.

“I promise to not go in with the intention of dying.” I tell her.

“I want you to say that you’ll fight to stay alive, no matter what.”

“I’ve always done that.”

“No you haven’t, not recently at least.” She says. “I see how much you love her and it’s
terrifying. I know I’ve only ever made snide remarks about the two of you but I am happy
that you found someone. But with that being said, I need you to snap out of this bull shit
mindset that you don’t matter anymore. No more being casual about dying or saying some
idiotic shit like ‘as long as Granger is safe, that’s all that matters’ because it’s not! You think
she wants to live a life without you?” I go to reply but she cuts me off. “I’ll answer that for
you, she doesn’t. No matter how much us women may say we don’t need men, and I mean
we really don’t, that doesn’t mean we want to be without you moronic twats!”

“Pans-”

“And I swear Draco, if you try to somehow keep us out when we get there I will cut your
dic–”

“Pans!” My hands grabbing onto her shoulders. “I got it. Stay alive, fight to the end. Okay?”

“Fine.” She huffs. “But I mean it, if you die I will resurrect you just to kill you myself and I
will cut your dick off.”

“Why do women always turn to cutting a man’s dick off when making threats?” Blaise
questions.

“Because it works.” All three of the girls say in unison.

“Right.” I say, clapping my hands together. “Now that my life and dick have been threatened,
may we move on to the part where I kill my father?”

“I can’t decide if I should be more concerned about how casually you said that or about how
normal it sounded to me.” Potter says as rubs his forehead.

“It’s okay sweetheart.” Freckles says as she rubs his back. “These are confusing times.”
10:00 pm

After what felt like centuries of planning and plotting and discussions, so many fucking
discussions, we’ve finally made it to the manor. I don’t know why they insisted on talking so
much, as if we’ll have any control over what will happen once we step inside. They were the
ones going on and on about how my father must have something planned for my arrival
which means all the strategy talk was a waste of energy but whatever, we’re here now.

The manor has always had protective wards that ran along the perimeter of the grounds but
there doesn’t seem to be any up. I’m fairly good at spotting them but just to confirm I did test
it. I pushed Potter onto the lawn and instead of him falling to the ground and seizing he
remained standing, perfectly unharmed. Shame.

“Yup. I’m positive there aren’t any wards.” I announce to the group.

“You weren’t positive before?!” Potter questions.

“I was seventy-eight percent positive.”

“That’s an extremely specific number.”

“There’s factors that went into it but I won’t bother explaining them to you, your tiny brain
wouldn’t be able to comprehend it.”

Potter rolls his eyes and says “I still can’t believe you used me as your test dummy.”

“Your whole thing is being the boy who lived, it only seemed right that it was you.” I shrug.
“Now come on, just because there aren’t any wards that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been alerted
of our arrival.”

I’ll be honest, it’s unsettling that we were able to just walk onto the grounds. I’m not going to
voice that because Merlin knows this lot would instantly become frantic and they probably
should but I don’t feel like dealing with that right now. I need to stay focused. I haven’t seen
my father in years but I can’t imagine our dynamic would be any different this time. As much
as I hate him he’s always had the ability to break me down. This isn’t the first time I’ve
talked about killing him, there've been several times where I thought and even planned out
how I would do it. There is one big difference though, this time I mean it. In the past I still
held onto that foolish hope that one day he’d be the father I had always waited around for
him to be. That maybe one day I’d make him proud and he wouldn’t spit in my direction.
Fuck that. I don’t need him. I don’t need his validation. I do need Blaise to stop talking.

“Blaise can you shut the fu–” My sentence is cut short when I step up onto the front porch
and the rest of them are stopped by seemingly nothing. What the hell? They’re pounding their
fists against what looks like nothing but thin air. Stepping over to the side, I observe as the
moonlight catches on the ward, a faint glimmer separating myself from the rest of the group.

“Draco, I told you not to pull this shit!” Pansy’s voice is muffled by the barrier between us
but the annoyance in her words is still clear.
“Calm down.” I say. “I didn’t do this.”

Granger steps forward, takes out her wand and begins working on breaking through.
Whoever casted these really put all of their energy into this because Granger is barely able to
make a dent and I know she’s trying really hard, her tongue is poking out of the corner of her
mouth. My attention is pulled away from her when I hear the door unlock. As I turn my head
the door slowly opens. I can hear everyone yelling for me to not do it, to wait for them to get
the ward down so that they can join me. If they had really thought this through like they
pretended they did, they would’ve seen this coming. My father has always gotten what he
wanted and if what he wanted was for me to be alone, then he was going to make sure of it. I
look back at Granger who is begging me with her eyes not to go.

“Please.” She mouths.

I step as close to her as I can, hold up my hand and move it forward until my palm is pressed
against the ward. “A cottage.” I was unsure of how well she would be able to hear me but
based on the way her head tilts to the side, I’d say she hears me just fine. “A cottage
somewhere secluded, just us.” I continue. “We’d have a white picket fence and you’d plant
flowers along the front. That’s what I see for us, that’s what I will fight to stay alive for.”

A single tear falls from the corner of her eye and rolls down her cheek as her lips curve up
into a soft smile. “That sounds nice.” She says. “Promise you’ll come back to me.”

“I’ll always come back for you, love.”

If you were to ask me just a week ago if I would’ve had the strength to walk away from her
right now, I would’ve said no. I just got her back and nothing would’ve been able to get me to
leave her side but that was last week. As I face the open doorway and step inside the building
I once called home, I don’t view this as me walking away from her. I see this as me fully
choosing us because in order for the future I envision for Granger and I to become reality,
this needs to happen. I always thought Voldemort was the true evil that plagued our world but
he wasn’t, people like my father are.

I didn’t know how I’d feel stepping foot inside of my childhood home again. I figured it
would be strange and maybe a little off putting but now that I’m here, I don’t know. It’s
heavy - the air, the weight on my chest, the memories that are flooding my head as I make my
way further through. It looks exactly how I remember it, I think I would’ve preferred for it to
be different because at least then I wouldn’t be feeling like I’m a teenage boy again.

As I pass by the dining room I remember the countless meetings that took place here. The
death eaters that filled the seats at the table, myself being one of them. Voldemort sitting at
the head as he dragged on about whatever wasn’t meeting his standards at the time. I
remember as Pansy, Theo and Blaise sat there and watched as I dismembered and murdered
an innocent woman. I remember lashing out at my mother three days before our initiation.

My mother.

No, actually.
She’s right in front of me.

She’s standing just outside the kitchens and she’s staring at me.

She’s staring at me and the look on her face can only be described as conflicted.

“Hello mother.”

The distance between us is cleared within seconds as she dashes forward and throws her arms
around me. Her frame is smaller than I remember and her usual perfectly tailored clothes now
loosely hang from her shoulders.

She looks weak, tired, broken.

“Draco, darling.” She smiles as she rests her hand against my cheek. “Look at you, you’re all
grown up.” I have so many questions for her, all of which mainly have to do with Granger
and her part in her return but it’s not the time.

“It’s good to see you.” I tell her which seems to have been the wrong thing to say because
now she’s crying. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“No.” She says, shaking her head. “It’s alright, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just- I
didn’t know if I’d ever see you again but here you are.” As the last words fall from her lips
her entire demeanor shifts. “You shouldn’t be here Draco.” Her voice is frantic as she whips
her head around to check our surroundings. “Your father, he’s here and if he sees you-”

“I’m aware that he’s here, that's why I am.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know he did something to Granger, I know he’s the reason there’s holes in her memory. I
don’t know what your part was in all of it and I sure as hell expect you to tell me but not right
now. Right now I need you to tell me where he is.”

“He’s changed, Draco.” She whispers.

“Oh has he? Is he now a proper husband to you? By the looks of your gaunt appearance I’d
say the answer is no. Has father suddenly become a charitable man? Does he no longer go
around barking orders as he throws money to get his way? Does he no longer believe that the
purity of his blood makes him better than others?”

“No.”

“Then it doesn’t sound like he’s changed at all.”

“What I meant was that he’s changed in a bad way. Who he was when you last saw him is
nothing compared to what he’s become over the last three years.”

“You mean since he became the new high lord?” I question.

She lets out a small gasp and her eyes widen as she says “How did you know?”

“I didn’t, not for certain, but now I do. So I’ll ask again, where is he?”

“Now, that’s no way to speak to your mother Draco.” His voice echoes through the room. The
low timbre used to scare me when I was younger, I think it’s because he’d always pair the
threatening tone with what appeared to be a kind smile. I could never tell what he was
thinking or feeling but as I turn to look at him now, I know exactly what’s going on in his
head. He thinks he’s won.

Fucking idiot.

“My, I guess there’s no need for me to ask how you filled your time while in prison.” He says
as his eyes scan over my body. “I must say, I am surprised you were able to move enough in
that tiny cell of yours to properly work any muscles in the first place.”

“I always manage to work with what I have access to.”

“That you do.” The corner of his mouth lifting up into a grin as he slowly begins crossing the
room. “Tell me son, how were the accommodations? I never did get to see the final
renovations for the lower level.”

My brows pull together, final renovations? And how did he know where I was moved to?

“Don’t think too hard.” He mocks. “Your questions will be answered but first, I’d like to have
a proper family dinner. It’s been quite some time since we all sat together for a meal.”

“You’re out of your mind if you think I’m going to sit at the table and eat like we’re some
happy family.” I scoff.

“I figured you might react this way, though I was hoping you’d surprise me for once. Very
well.” He lets out a sigh before removing his wand, pointing it at my mother and casting a
crucio. I can hear the sound of her knees cracking as she drops down onto them.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” I shout at him. Her screams are so loud I can barely hear his
response.

“If you wish for me to stop then all you must do is take a seat at the table, Draco.”

“You’re a fucking psychopath!”

“And you’re only causing more pain for your mother.”

Gods, what the fuck? I mean what the actual fuck!

“Alright!” I say as I raise both of my hands and walk over to the table. Pulling out one of the
chairs, I keep my eyes trained on my father as I sit down.

“Very good.” He grins as he lowers his arm. My mother begins gasping for air as she’s
released from the curse. I move to go assist her but he raises his wand again, warning me to
not move any further.

He’s really fucking lost it.

Leaning back into my seat, he once again lowers his arm and walks over to my mother.
Helping her up to her feet, he practically drags her frail body to the table and sets her down in
the chair opposite of mine before claiming his own spot at the end.

“Now, where is that bloody elf? Mippy!” He yells and in no time Mippy comes running out
from the kitchens, several plates being balanced on top of one other.

“Mippy is here master. Mippy brings food.” The plates are quickly distributed and the
anxious house elf promptly exits the room.

As he cuts into his food and plops a piece into his mouth I keep my hands in my lap,
uninterested in doing the same. I’m not saying my father would try to poison me but I’m also
not saying he wouldn’t try to poison me.

“Don’t tell me you managed to lose all of your manners within a short span of three years,
son.” He scoffs as he takes notice of my untouched food. “Mippy worked tirelessly to prepare
this meal, eat.”

“Forgive me for not wanting to ingest anything you’re giving me father but you are a
sociopath after all.”

“Your distrust pains me.” He says as he clutches his heart. “I would never try to kill you.”

“Add shit liar to the list.” I retort. “And abusive husband.”

“That’s enough!” His fist slamming down onto the table, my mother jumping in her seat as
she struggles to even keep her head up. What has he done to you all this time mother? Why
do you stay with him? “I’m sorry my darling.” He tells her as he rests his hand on hers. “I’ve
just grown tired of our son’s disrespect.”

“That’s a load coming from you.” I scoff.

“Have I not provided you with a life far more grand than your peers?” He questions as he
turns his attention back to me. “Have you no appreciation for the things I’ve done for you?”

“What things have you done for me father? Are you referring to the yearly assessments where
you’d scrutinize my every choice and then proceed to break my arm or leg? Actually, you
know what, you’re right. How ungrateful of me to not thank you for teaching me how to heal
my own wounds by cutting into my arm, back and chest growing up. And of course I can’t
forget the time you forced me to become a child assassin. Fucking father of the year.”

“You’re stronger because of me.”

“I’m fucked in the head because of you!” I snap.

“You are alive because of me!” He snaps back as he shoots up to his feet. “You think the dark
lord would have let you live had I not offered up the girl? I did that to save you!”

“I didn’t want saving!” I reply as I also stand. “I was fully aware of what he was going to do
to me.”

“Which only further proves that the filthy mudblood makes you weak.”

“Don’t fucking talk about her.” I snarl.

“Oh for fucks sake Draco, look at you! You had a clean slate and still chose to go back to that
bloody witch! Do you not see how pathetic you are when it comes to her? It’s embarrassing. I
should’ve just let her die.” His last words cause every ounce of my self control to disappear.
My right hand swings around and makes contact with his left eye. My mother lets out a weak
gasp but other than that she remains silent as I grab his shoulders and knee him in the
stomach. While he’s hunched over I swipe the fork from the table and drive it into his left
hand that’s resting on the back of his chair.

My father straightens his posture, casually removes the fork from his hand and tosses it onto
the ground. “You really are my greatest disappointment.” He says as he works his jaw.
“Using our best silverware as a tool in your childish tantrum over a girl who doesn’t even
remember you.”

In one fluid motion I grab the knife from the table and throw it at him. As soon as it lodges
into his shoulder I reach for the spoon which causes a mocking chuckle to escape the back of
his throat.

“Still creative with our weapons I see.”

“Just for you father.” I sarcastically reply. Lunging at him, my fist flies forward only for him
to block it with his arm. We take turns swinging at one another, both of us failing to land a
single hit. I take a step in and he’s already begun taking a step back. His fist is coming at me
but I’m already moving out of the way. It’s a dance that neither of us are in control of which
is infuriating for both parties.

We’re now near the fireplace and as I go to reach for something he snatches the metal rod and
says “I’m always a step ahead of you son.”

“Clearly not.” I smirk as I retrieve a handful of floo powder and throw it in his face. While
he’s temporarily fazed by the irritation to his eyes, I sweep his feet out from under him and
crouch down, pressing my knee into his throat. As soon as I grab the wand from his side
pocket I’m overwhelmed by the magic coursing up my arm, it’s a sensation I’m unfamiliar
with. I’ve used magic here and there but I haven’t held an actual wand in years. Shaking my
head and blinking a few times to break myself from the trance-like state, I snap it in half and
toss it to the side. I’ve just slipped the knife from my leg holster when I feel myself being
yanked away. Once I look up and see who is holding onto me I let out a groan as I roll my
eyes.

“What the fuck Romee! I thought we were cool?”

“Romee sorry.” He says as he drops his head. “Romee just following orders.”

“Make your own decisions for once you gentle giant blockhead!”

“Your father is bad man.”

“Yes and he could be a dead man if you would let go of me.” I say as I try to rip away from
his grasp but even I’m not strong enough to do so.

“You’re wasting your energy.” My father says as he pats the dirt from his clothes and cracks
his neck. “Romee here will do whatever I say or else his lovely wife and daughter will suffer
the consequences.”

“You didn’t tell me you were married?” I direct at Romee.

“Pretty boy did not ask.”

“Yeah well I was a little preoccupied with the broken teacup in my hand.” I reply. “You still
should’ve found some way to tell me, that’s what friends are supposed to do isn’t it?”

“Friends?”

“Don’t expect me to be inviting you over for dinner any time soon but if we were to run into
each other out in public I’d say hi so I’d consider that friend status, wouldn’t you?”

“Romee never had friend before.”

“Surprising.” I scoff. “Romee, if you release me right now I promise no harm will come to
your family.”

“Your father said-”

“I know what he said but he won’t be able to follow through with said threats if he’s dead,
now would he?”

“Always so quick to threaten my life.” My father chuckles. He tilts his head forward slightly
and Romee lets out a regrettable sigh before tossing me to the ground. As I go to stand I
watch as a wand is thrown to my father. Immediately, I’m met by the familiar pain of the
cruciatus. Just as I remember, it starts as a sharp centralized sting and then rapidly begins
spreading throughout my entire body. Every limb feels like it’s being set on fire and every
bone simultaneously breaking.

File.

File and sort.

Build a wall.

Lay brick after brick.

Place the cement between each and-

More pain. A new pain. One that has never accompanied this curse in the hundreds of times
I’ve experienced it. It’s unexplainable, it’s debilitating and most of all it’s killing me. It’s
slow and excruciating and I can’t break out of it. I can’t strip my focus away long enough to
build the proper protective barriers, to lock the emotions away to grant me enough cushion to
push through. All I can do is sit here and struggle to drag in a single breath.

“You really think Quellen was smart enough to come up with that fun idea to drag you out to
the dementors? You think he alone knew that if he pulled you away at just the right time
you’d still survive?” His wrist twists clockwise, the pain increasing as he continues to talk.
“If it weren’t for me they never would’ve thought of creating an isolation cell, of stripping
you from all human contact. You were falling apart, Draco. You were dishonoring the Malfoy
name left and right, I thought some time alone with your thoughts might help remedy that but
clearly I was mistaken.”

He lifts his leg and kicks my shoulder, knocking me over onto the ground as I continue to
seize under the cruciatus. I should have known he would’ve gone as far as to assist the guards
in my torture while in Azkaban. None of this is surprising news to me.

“I’ve told you countless times son, love makes you weak. Your failure to heed my warning
was by far the most foolish thing you’ve ever done. I’ve grown tired of your antics and I’m
afraid I no longer have the patience to aid in your rehabilitation.” He tilts the tip of his wand
down and now I’m screaming. All of the pain is too much to keep in and the only way I’m
able to find even the slightest of relief is to verbalize it, to give him what he wants. He enjoys
hearing my discomfort, my suffering. My throat is constricted but not enough to stop me
from getting any oxygen, not enough to kill me… yet.

“The second you let that girl into your life, into your heart, you failed not only me but
yourself. The things you could’ve accomplished, the power you could’ve obtained, all thrown
away for some stupid muggle born.” He spits out, hatred lacing his every word. “You are no
son of mine and soon you’ll cease to be anything to anyone.”

I don’t want to die. For the first fucking time in my life I really don’t want to die. I want to
live, I want to see her again, I want to hold her while we lay in bed and I want to listen as she
rambles on about work. I want to get that damn cottage with her and I want to host dinner
parties for our friends. Fuck, I even want to see my friends again. I want to sit in a circle like
we used to and share a bottle of firewhiskey. I want to hear more of Blaise’s shit jokes, to
hear Pansy criticize my choice in.. well, everything. I want to be alive to see the day Theo
makes the biggest mistake of his life and marries that witch. I want to stand with him and
watch as he cries as she walks towards him in a white dress, I’ve always believed he’d be the
sort to cry.

I think I’m the sort now as well, at least in that situation. Gods, imagine that. Hermione Jean
Granger gliding down the aisle in a white dress, clutching onto a bouquet of peonies as she
smiles at me. I want that. Fucking hell do I want that. I want everything. I want the life my
father never allowed me to imagine for myself. I want the chance to have my own kid and
show them the love I was never offered. I want to bring them to platform nine and three
quarters and wave them off as the train leaves the station, Granger will be a mess that day.
I want to grow old with her and witness our children become parents themselves. I want a
life, I want a life with her. I want to fucking live.

My father finally lowers his wand, freeing me of the crucio. He crouches down and lifts my
head by the ends of my hair and places the edge of his knife against my throat. I’m trying to
fight back like I promised Pans. I’m trying to find the energy to make it out alive so I can
return to my Granger, just like I told her I would but I’m weak and tired. I’m so fucking tired.

“I may be the one holding the knife to your neck right now but in the end it was her who
killed you. The person to blame for your death is Hermione Granger.” A loud booming sound
coming from over by the front door causes my father’s head to whip around and for his blade
to cut into my skin.

“You called?” Her voice dances through the room.

“Granger.” My father drawls. “Of course you’d be here.” Another sound emanates from the
same general area. “And you brought friends.” He adds. “Nice to see you three are still
alive.”

“Lucius, I see you’re still a piece of shit.” Theo replies.

“I always viewed you as a son Nott, unfortunate to see you’re acting like my actual one.”

“Can we just get on with the plan?” Pansy groans.

I can’t see any of them right now but I’m guessing there was some sort of nonverbal
agreement because in just a few seconds there’s an even louder crashing sound. Debris flies
past me and my father lets go of me. I think I hear him shuffling away but I can’t tell for sure
because smoke is engulfing the room making it impossible for me to see anything. I feel a
hand grab onto me again but I know that it isn’t him, it’s her, it’s my girl.

“Granger.” Seeing her face clearly now, I suddenly feel all of the strength I was lacking
earlier flood my body. I try to stand but as soon as I sit up she gently places her hand on my
chest to stop me.

“Wait here.” She instructs.

I go to argue with her, to tell her that I’m fine and that we can’t let him get away but she’s
already walked off. She’s never listened to me before so I think it’s only right I go against her
wishes as well. Using the chair beside me to help support my weight, I manage to make it up
to my feet. There’s another explosion and I’m just going to go ahead and guess that it was
Blaise, he’s always enjoyed the use of explosive spells. Making my way over to the table, I
locate my mother who is still sat in her chair.

“Mother, are you okay?” I ask as I wave my hand in front of my face in an attempt to clear
the smoke. “Are you hurt? Can you stand?”

“Draco, darling, I’m fine.” She says through a weak smile. “You need to get out of here.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“I’ll be okay, he won't kill me.”

“I’d argue with you on that one mother. Just earlier he used an unforgivable on you and you
didn’t seem shocked, which tells me it wasn’t the first time.”

She shakes her head and grabs my hand. “He’s only done it once before. He was only trying
to get to you, to use me in order to get you to do what he wanted. I’ll be fine, really.”

This woman is almost as infuriating as Granger.

I notice a figure emerging out of the smoke and based on the slim frame I know it must be
one of the girls. Soon enough, Pansy comes into view and I call her over.

“Merlin, what happened to you Narcissa?” She asks as she runs to her side.

“Get her out of here Pans.” I say. “ Take her back to the hotel and stay there.”

“What about you?” She asks.

“I’m going to do what I originally came here for, kill my father.”

Maybe it was the tone of my voice, a look in my eye or the adrenaline from the entire
situation but for once she doesn’t try and argue with me. She doesn’t hound me with
countless questions and actually does as I requested. One moment I’m watching as she helps
my mother up and the next they’re gone.

I continue my way through the manor, checking each room and finding no sign of anyone.
Not Theo, Blaise, Granger or my father. I’ve just turned the corner to the hallway in which
my father’s study is located when I crash directly into what feels like a brick wall but it’s not,
it’s fucking Romee.

“For fucks sake Romee!”

“Friend must come with me.” He says as he reaches for me but I yank my arm away.

“No, friend needs to go kill his father.” I argue. “So get out of the way!”

“Friend’s friends are taking care of it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Friend’s friends have him.”

“Where?”

“Romee was told to get friend out safely.”

“Romee is going to die if Romee doesn’t tell me where the hell they are!”

“Romee hates his job.” He sighs. “Friend’s friends are in study but friend must not-”
“Brilliant. Good work mate!” I say as I pat his arm and push past him. Apparently I do run
because that’s precisely what I’m doing, running. I haven’t done this since my time at
Hogwarts when I’d engage in the physical act at ungodly hours. Finally reaching the study, I
kick open the doors and manage to hear my father’s last words just before Granger does the
one thing I failed to do earlier.

Theo and Blaise let go of his arms and I watch as my father falls to the ground.
 Chapter 90

He’s dead. I mean he’s actually fucking dead.

I'm standing in the doorway and staring down at this lifeless body and I'm silent, I don't even
know what to say. I thought I’d feel some sort of relief, some kind of weight lifting off of my
shoulders but I don’t. She did it, Granger was the one to kill my father and I’m not mad that
she was but I do hate that she had to do it in the first place. The last thing I heard him say was
"You don't have it in you” and then I witnessed as Granger wasted no time proving him
wrong.

“He was going to kill you and I couldn’t-” The words catching in the back of her throat.
“They told me, your friends. While I was working on dismantling the ward they told me
about the awful things he used to do to you, about the nightmares you would have.”
Reminder, punch Theo for opening his big mouth. “When I saw you on the ground, when I
saw him holding a knife to your neck, that's when I knew what needed to be done. I know
you could've done it yourself but you shouldn't have been put in that position in the first
place. I'm sorry if it felt like I took that away from you I just thought-" Her unnecessary
apology is cut short when I pull her into me and caress her lips with mine.

"Thank you." I whisper. "Thank you for coming for me."

"I'll always come for you, Draco."

I didn’t think it was possible to love her anymore than I already do but I’ve found myself
being proven otherwise. Is it a bad time to ask her to marry me? Yeah, it probably is. I don’t
even have a ring for her, why don’t I have a ring? Probably because before this trip I thought
she was still dating someone else but still. Another reminder, get Granger a ring.

The Hotel

“Draco.” My mother says softly as she slowly sits up in the bed.

My head whips over to her and I hastily make my way to her side. Grabbing her hand as I
take a seat on the edge of the bed I say “You need to take it easy, Pans said you’re dehydrated
and that your-you just need some rest.”

Apparently Pansy has been studying to become a healer, it was a surprising fact to hear but it
did come in handy. As much as I wouldn’t have cared about calling for an actual healer,
having one that you know will keep their mouth shut on your whereabouts is useful.. not that
it would have mattered at the end of the day I guess.

When the rest of us returned to the hotel Lupin was conversing with Potter and freckles. I
guess while they were stuck outside of the manor Potter got some alert on his little muggle
device from the hotel informing him that there was a guest in the lobby asking for us. Lupin
was described as a rather tall and irate man who greatly resembled an angry father catching
his kids after they snuck out in the middle of the night, I guess the description wasn’t far off.

He attempted to scold me when I arrived but ended up backing down and letting me spend
the evening with my mother undisturbed. There’s more to what Pans had told me about my
mother’s condition but she’s not a certified healer yet so it’s clear she doesn’t know what the
fuck she’s talking about. There’s absolutely no way that what she said is true, I probably
heard her wrong, I was extremely out of it by the time we got back.

“Draco.” My mother says again, her hand trembling as she struggles to squeeze mine.
“There’s something at Gringotts that I want you to have.”

“I don’t need any money, mother.”

She slowly shakes her head and lets out a soft chuckle. “It’s not money darling, though it is
worth quite a lot of it.”

“Then what is it?”

“It was your grandmother’s. Before her passing she told me that she wanted you to have it for
when you found the right one.” Immediately I know what she’s referring to. “It’s in my
personal vault, I contacted them some time ago to grant you full access.”

“Mother-”

“She makes you happy.” She says cutting me off. “The kind of happy that I had always
wished for you. My darling, I’m sorry for not advocating for you, for standing idly by while
your father put you through so much.”

“It’s okay, I understand that you were in a difficult position.”

“Was I though? I fear you are still too quick to excuse my negligence.”

“I’m not excusing it.” I say. “I just know how complicated things can be when it comes to
father or rather, used to be.”

“Hmm complicated, yes.” She hums. “Hermione loves you, you know?” This is the first time
she’s ever referred to Granger by her first name, I’m not even attempting to hide my shock. “I
want you to know that I had no part in what your father did to her, I wasn’t aware that she
was alive or that he was in possession of her until it was too late.”

I want to know what happened to Granger, I do, but I don’t know if I can handle it right now.
So much has happened today and I just want to pretend for once that everything is fine, that
everything has always been fine, but I can see that this has been weighing heavily on my
mother so I let her continue.

“It was a day just like any other, I had just finished my cup of tea. I was actually about to sit
down to write to you, I just received the necessary information to communicate with you at
Azkaban but then I heard a scream from down in the cellar. It was startling to say the least, it
had just been myself and the house elves for days and then all of a sudden there was this pain
filled shriek, one that I recognized because I had heard it before.”

I know she’s referring to that time in the drawing room with Bella, it’s odd to see the
discomfort the memory brings her considering how cold she appeared to be towards the
situation at the time.

“On the outside she looked fine but it was clear she was under distress and had been for some
time.” My mother continues. “I didn’t know what to do or say when she looked up at me, just
like you and everyone else, I thought she was dead. Your father appeared before me not long
after and when I confronted him about it he was all too quick to gloat about his
accomplishment in saving her just in time. He had it all planned out, he knew you would try
to sacrifice yourself and it angered him that you would do such a selfless thing for those he
deemed unworthy of such.”

She goes on to tell me everything that he told her that morning. My father was torturing her,
he was taking his anger for me out on her and using legilimency to get information on The
Order and how they operated. The death eater regime never did fall apart, there was always a
fail-safe. Should anything happen to Voldemort, my father was to take over. He could’ve
chosen any of The Order members but he saw Granger as the best option. Not only would he
get the necessary information, he would be able to fuck me up even more than he already
had.

“I would sneak down there whenever I could.” My mother says. “I would bring her some
food and water because Merlin knows your father wasn’t doing so. We would talk, she told
me that she was going to protect you, that she wouldn’t let him hurt you anymore. I wasn’t
sure what she meant by that but eventually it all sort of clicked. She was using occlumency to
conceal her memories.”

Occlumency, how could I have forgotten that she knew how to do that? I mean I was the one
who taught her the skill in the first place. Granted, she was rather shit at it but she was doing
her best.

“I used legilimency on her once, just to confirm my theories. I saw everything, her greatest
fears, her memories with those two boys but I didn’t see you, not even once. You were the
only thing she was protecting. It was very apparent to me how much you loved her but it
wasn’t until then that I was able to see and feel just how much she loved you as well. Her
occlumency wasn’t necessarily weak but she wasn’t skilled enough to know how to properly
sort and file everything.”

I was always telling her that she needed to be more mindful when separating and suppressing.
In true Granger fashion, she’d constantly be thinking of a million other things which is
always a recipe for disaster when occluding. Things get lost and if you aren’t a strong enough
occlumens you may not be able to relocate them.

“One day when I went down to bring her food I had asked about you. I was missing you and
found that talking about you helped make me feel better. I asked when it all started for her,
when she knew she had feelings for you.” She says. “There was so much confusion in the
way she looked at me, she had no idea who I was referring to.”
So that’s it. My father didn’t wipe her memories, not intentionally. Granger had stowed them
away with occlumency and because she’s incapable of ever quieting her mind, the bloody
witch misplaced them entirely. It makes sense why no mind healer could figure out what was
causing the memory loss. They were most likely approaching it as they would in a trauma or
obliviation case. Everyone assumed someone else must’ve tampered with her memories when
this whole time, it was her.

There’s very little research on obliviation and its complex nature, especially when reversing
the effects, but there’s even less when it comes to occlumency. It's an intricate skill that very
few have managed to master and as much as healers like to believe they’re the brightest of
the lot, they’re not.

“So they’re still in there, somewhere.” I say as I try to remain calm and not allow myself to
become consumed with hope again.

My mother nods. “I believe so. Things are never fully lost Draco, they’re just in the wrong
spot.”

My mind is racing as I begin thinking of all the different ways to get the memories back but
it’s a conflicting feeling. I told her that I didn’t care and I don’t, not enough to force anything
upon her, but fuck. If it’s really all down to her occlumency then I could do it, I could help
her.

“There’s more.”

Of course there’s more.

“Just like the first time around there were measures put in place should anything happen to
your father. You have to get rid of the rest of them, you have to execute the remaining death
eaters.” Hearing my mother talk about me killing people in such a casual manner is almost as
strange as when Granger did. “Your father may have lost his sanity even more over the years
but he still remained the same boastful man. I can give you the location of where the rest are
but you have to give me something in return.”

And now she’s bargaining? Maybe I have a concussion or something and I’m just
hallucinating all of this.

“What is it?” I ask.

“A promise.” She says. “A promise that you’ll marry that girl, that you’ll create a beautiful
life with her and rid yourself of the past. Move on Draco, allow yourself to be at peace.”

“Oka-”

“And keep a seat empty for me at the wedding.” She adds, this demand I hate.

“It won’t be empty.” I tell her. “You’ll be sitting in it.”

Her hand finds its way to my cheek. “Pansy might still be in the process of her healer studies
but she didn’t misdiagnose me.” Stop. “I had mentioned earlier that your father used an
unforgivable on me once before, it was right after I discovered that he had Hermione. Shortly
after he had told me about the plans he put in place for you while at Azkaban and I was
furious. I was screaming at him to release both you and Hermione immediately. You know
your father, always such a short temper, especially when being ordered around by his usually
obedient wife. A few days after I had called for a healer, I just couldn’t shake the fatigue. I
was first diagnosed then.”

No. No. No.

Don’t say it, please don’t say it.

“A muggle disease, multiple myeloma. Cancer is the simple term muggles use and not
something my side of the family is entirely unfamiliar with. Healer Danfrey was able to
provide me with various potions to help fight it off and in normal cases it would’ve worked
but the cruciatus weakened me. I’ve made it longer than she thought I would, I believe it was
my hope to see you again that’s kept me around this long. But I’m tired darling, I don’t have
much fight left in me.”

She’s been a shit mother, she’s allowed her husband to abuse their son and never did a thing
about it. She allowed her sister to torture the girl that I love and she never told anyone about
Granger’s true condition. Time and time again she has done things that should make me
loathe her just as much as my father but I can’t. No matter how badly I want to, I can never
hate her. I can’t crucify her for being scared, for remaining quiet all these years because I
know that she only did so as a way to try and keep the family together. When I was younger
I’d often hear her speaking with my grandmother about how she can’t leave my father, how
she didn’t want to put me through yet another traumatic thing. Her intentions have always
been in the right place, she’s just never executed them correctly.

I never thought about what life would be like if I were to lose my mother. I think in my head I
always viewed her as this eternal being. She’s always been around so why would that ever
change?

I’m not ready to say goodbye. I don’t want to say goodbye.

“I’m not leaving.” She says as she takes my hand in hers. “Not yet.”

2:00 am

It’s the first time I’ve left my mother’s side since being back at the hotel. I tried arguing with
her, to convince her to keep taking the potions that healer Danfrey gave her. If they’ve
worked this long then who’s to say they wouldn’t continue to? I gave up on that argument
after twenty minutes or so. Like she said, she’s tired and it’s clear she doesn’t want it to work
any longer. She’s ready, even if I’m not.
Granger and Lupin are the only ones still awake. They’re both sitting together on the couch
when I approach. Granger is the first to stand, her arms wrapping around my neck while she
asks how I am.

“I’m okay, love.” I tell her as I carefully remove her arms. “Lupin, can I speak with you?”

He points at himself and his brows lift up to his hairline as he waits for me to confirm that he
is who I had just requested for. I don’t respond, I just stare at him. Once he remembers who I
am and that I’m not the sort to entertain stupid questions, he clears his throat and gets up to
his feet. I inform Granger that she can go to bed and that I’ll join her soon. I really hate lying
to her but sometimes it’s for the best.

Lupin and I now find ourselves in the lobby of the hotel. Even though everyone was in their
respective rooms, I didn’t want to risk any of them overhearing. We’ve just sat down, the area
around us empty and quiet.

“I know what happened to her.” I say.

“Oh?” His brow quirks as he uncrosses his legs and leans forward.

“My father was torturing her and using legilimency to extract information. During that
process she was using occlumency to conceal her memories of her and I.”

“I didn’t realize Hermione was an occlumens.”

“She’s not. I mean, she knows how to use occlumency but it’s not a strong skill for her.”

“I see.” He nods. “So the use of occlumency is what did it?"

I shake my head. “No. When you separate and place certain memories or feelings somewhere
they don’t disappear, they’re still there and you don’t forget them.”

“So then why has she?”

“Like I said, it’s not one of her strong suits. She did the steps needed to keep my father from
having access to said memories but she didn’t do it properly. The mind is a complicated
place, think of it like a giant body of water. Now imagine dropping a sickle into the said body
of water, it’s not gone and you could eventually find it but it would take some time and a lot
of work.”

“Her memories of you are lost at sea.”

“Sure Lupin, phrase it however you need to in order for it to make sense.” I quip. “There’s
more.”

“Why is there always more?” He groans.

“My mother provided me with the location in which the rest of the death eaters currently
reside. My father, their high lord, may be dead but it won’t take long for the next in line to
step forward and take over. My guess is they’ve only just gotten word of his falling which
means right now they’re weak and unorganized. If there were ever a time to strike, it’s now.
Pick them off one by one and be done with it, for good.”

“Okay.” He says as he begins standing. “So let’s brief the others and-”

“No.” I interject, causing him to freeze.

“No?”

“I know why you’re here Lupin. We went off of the assignment and I’m sure you were
getting your ear chewed off for it. You came for damage control and to collect me, I violated
my terms.”

“Draco..”

“It’s fine. I was the one who pushed for us to abandon our post in the first place so I’ll gladly
accept whatever new sentencing I’m handed but before I get turned in, let me go do this. Just
me, no one else.”

“Why alone? Why wouldn’t you want our help?”

“Everyone is already in enough shit, I don’t need them to lose their jobs or get even more
blood on their hands than they already have. Besides, this was the whole point of me being
let out wasn’t it? To kill the death eaters so that the ministry didn’t have to send their own to
do so?”

Lupin has always been an intelligent man, he’s fully aware that fighting with me is a waste of
energy and will never end with him winning.

He lets out a sigh of defeat before saying “You do realize Hermione isn’t going to like this,
right?”

“Oh Lupin.” I smirk as I get up to my feet and pat his shoulder. “When has that witch ever
liked a thing I’ve said?”

2:50 am

“I’m coming with you.” Theo says.

“Theo…”

“Draco, shut the fuck up. I told you, until the end. I’m coming and that’s it, we can fight over
it if you’d like.”
I roll my eyes and wave my hand. “Fine, whatever, but only because I don’t have the energy.”

“I’m coming too then.” Blaise adds.

“No.” I shoot over at him. “You’re staying here and watching over the girls. I’ve already
spoken with Pans and she agreed to monitor my mother.”

“Man what the fuck.” Blaise whines as he falls back onto the couch and pouts. “I never get to
do anything fun.”

“What about Granger?” Theo asks.

“She’s-”

“Yes, what about me?”

Oh great.

“Hello love.” I smile as I turn to face her. “I thought you were in bed?”

“I was in bed but then I got out of it, it really is that simple.” She retorts. “Now, are you going
to tell me what the hell is going on or am I going to have to wring it out of Remus?”

“Let’s leave the nice man out of this one.” I suggest as I clear the space between us and
gently tug at her arms to uncross them. “I know where the rest of the death eaters are. Theo
and I are going to go take care of them, Blaise will be staying back with the rest of you.”

“With the rest of us?” She questions. “Don’t you mean with everyone else? Because you
know damn well I’m not staying behind.”

“Granger.” I sigh.

“Don’t Granger me.” She bites out. “You are not going without me.”

“Yes, we are.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No Draco!” She shouts.

“Yes Hermione!” I shout back. Fucking great, now everyone is awake and walking out of
their rooms. Running my hand down the length of my face, I grab onto her elbow and guide
her over to our room. Just as I’m about to mutter the silencing enchantment she begins
yelling again.

“I can’t believe you were really going to go without even telling me!”

“It wasn’t meant to be seen as an insult.” I calmly say.

“Well it feels like one. As you’ve witnessed, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
I can help Draco!”

“I know that you can, I never had a doubt in my mind about that.”

“Then what is it? Why are you so set on me not coming? Theo gets to go!”

“That wasn’t by choice.”

“Draco.” My name sounding like a warning as it falls from her lips.

She just wants an answer, an honest answer, and I want to give her one but how do I say it
without sounding like a depressed little bitch? Granger, I just found out that my mother is
dying of fucking muggle cancer and not that I care about my father being dead but he's just
another to add to the list of people I've lost. I mean shit, do I tell her that as much as I present
myself to not care about others I actually do? That the thought of losing one more person
might just be enough to push me over the edge? That because I’ve never had stability in my
life I’m constantly worrying and wondering when the next shitty thing will happen?

“Answer me you maddening man!” She commands as she presses her hands against my chest
and shoves me back.

Steady breathing. Slow inhale. Slow exhale. Remain Calm. Don’t Snap. Keep it together.
Stay level.

She continues flailing her arms around, slapping and hitting my chest as she yells at me and I
continue with my internal form of meditation - something I seem to do often when around
her.

“Fucking tell me!” Granger shouts as she balls her hand into a fist. Oh, so we’re full on
punching now are we?

Okay, I think she’s had her fun.

Gripping her wrist to stop her fist just an inch away from my face, I yank her forward so that
the front of her body is now pressed against mine. I can feel her chest rapidly rising and
falling as the anger within her is released through sharp breaths.

“Are you done?” I ask, my voice low and commanding.

She closes her eyes and lets out a slow exhale before speaking. “Why don’t you want my
help?” She asks, her tone full of hurt.

“It’s not that I don’t want your help, love.”

“Then what is it?”

“I can’t risk losing you, not again.” I admit, her body relaxing against mine. “I barely
survived it the first time. There’s only so much loss a man can endure before he breaks
entirely.”
“You won’t lose me.” Her voice soft.

“I wish your words alone could promise that but unfortunately that isn’t how life works.” I
say. “My mother is dying.” The words feel uncomfortable as they roll off of the tip of my
tongue. “I’ve watched you die and now I’ll have to watch as she dies as well. I hate to break
it to you love but I am human which means I have feelings, ones that seem to be more present
than ever before. If you get hurt again-” My voice breaking as tears threaten to force their
way out. I turn my head, close my eyes and take a deep breath before returning my gaze back
to her. “I need you to stay here Hermione. Please, for my sanity, stay put for once.”

“I can help.” She croaks out.

“I know you can but you’ve done enough. Sit this one out Granger, let me do what the
ministry enlisted me to do.”

3:45 am

“Can you guys at least try to wait for me?” Potter groans as he struggles to catch up. This
is not what I agreed to. I allowed Theo to come mainly because I didn’t feel like arguing over
the matter but he’s also competent. Potter however, reminds me of a little brother that tries to
constantly tag along with his siblings and their friends.

“It’s mandatory for an auror to be with you at all times.” Lupin told me. To which I replied by
reminding him that we clearly aren’t following ministry guidelines anymore. He didn’t
appreciate that and I’m pretty sure he threatened me, it’s nice to know that he and I are on the
level where he feels comfortable enough to do that now. He left shortly after to do more
damage control and to try and buy us some more time.

Apparently there’s a tracker on me which means my location is available to them. Any

moment some pinheaded ministry members could come barging in to drag me back to my
cell in Azkaban. All I gathered from that information was that we needed to work quickly,
which means Potter should not be here.

“We’re here.” Theo announces. “Do try to keep up.” He directs at Potter who takes
immediate offense.

“I can be swift!” He says defensively.

“Potter, the only time you’re quick is most likely in bed, which would explain why freckles
always looks so unsatisfied.” I mock.

His lips are parting to say something, most likely in a whining tone, when his jaw promptly
snaps shut as a collection of muffled voices echo from within the house. Theo jumps to the
left while I go to the right and drag Potter with me. All three of us press our backs against the
wall as five men in black robes step out.
While they’re busy lighting their cigarettes, Theo and I exchange a quick nod before stepping
out. Theo goes low while I go high on the first pair of individuals who are at the front of the
pack. Twisting the man’s head, his neck snaps and body crashes onto the ground. Theo
removes his knife from his target’s abdomen and tosses it over to me. Grabbing onto the
handle, I swipe it across the next man’s throat and drop it down for Theo to catch who then
drives it behind another man’s chin as he stands up. With now only one soldier remaining,
Theo and I both glance over at Potter who is still off in the shadows.

His brows pull together as he cocks his head before checking behind him, searching for what
it is that we’re looking at.

“Oh! You meant-you want me to?” He stammers. Neither of us respond. “Right, let me just
step on over.” Potter takes his sweet time joining us. Useless. The remaining death eater
attempts to run inside but Theo yanks him back by the collar of his robes.

“You’re the one who wanted to come.” Theo says as he drops the blood covered knife in
Potter’s hand.

“Actually, Remus didn’t give me a choice.” He corrects.

“Potter, make your move or I’ll make it for you.” I instruct.

“I’m really more of a wand guy.” He says.

“Then use your fucking wand.” Theo replies.

“But what did he ever do-”

Grabbing him by the lapels of his coat, I pull him into me, narrow my eyes and say “Potter. I
have a very limited window of time before your fellow coworkers come to detain me. Either
get your fucking act together or leave.” He stumbles back a few steps as I release my hold on
him. As expected, he extends his arm out for Theo to take his knife back.

Theo grabs the man by the throat and jerks his hand to the side, the sound of his neck
breaking resembling that of a twig snapping in half. “Moving on.” He casually says as he
swipes his dagger from Potter’s grasp before stepping inside the building.

‘You two are terrifying.” Potter admits as he carefully steps over the dead bodies.

Based on what my mother told me there shouldn’t be that many death eaters remaining. The
regime was on the smaller side to begin with and the two larger groups we’ve already taken
care of. If I had to guess I’d say we should be expecting somewhere around fifteen, lightwork
- if Potter manages to stay out of the way that is.

Unlike the two previous times, we locate the lot right away. They’re all sitting around a table
and are discussing the next steps in moving forward now that my father is gone when we
enter the room. Not a single one of them seems to know what to do as they all just sit there
and stare at the three of us in the doorway.
“Evening gentlemen.” I smirk. “Care to put your training to the test?” Sliding the small
dagger from my side holster and throwing it across the table, the man’s head falls back as the
blade sticks out from his eye. Like a domino effect, one by one they all get up to their feet
and rush towards us. Pushing Potter to the side, he trips over his own feet and falls down into
the chair that’s against the wall.

“Stay.” I command before whipping my head back around just as the first individual closes in
on me. As he swings his hand around I lean to the left to avoid the tip of his knife. Picking up
the metal chair, I bring it around and smash it into the side of his knee. Potter sticks his leg
out causing the man to trip and fall onto the ground. Taking out another one of my daggers, I
bury it in the base of his neck and twist it clockwise before yanking it out. “Good job.” I tell
Potter as I wipe the blood off on the sleeve of my coat.

“Glad I could help.” He smiles.

For the next ten minutes Theo and I make our way through the room, taking out each
individual that approaches. We waste no time with the dramatics for the most part and stick to
the quick and effective route of going for the throat. The once white carpet that lined the
room is now a bright shade of red and when we reach the other end of the room we look back
to see Potter still sitting in his chair.

“That was easy.” Theo says as he places his knife back in the holster.

“I had fun.” I reply before looking over at Potter. “What about you?”

“Yeah it wasn’t too bad.” He shrugs.

“We should do this more often.” Theo says.

“What, kill a bunch of people?” I question.

“I mean sure but I really just meant hang out. I’ve missed you mate.”

“Maybe we can be true adults and go out to dinner some time with the girls. If I don’t end up
in prison for the rest of my life that is.”

“Prisoners have broken out before, it can't be that hard to do it again.”

“I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” Potter says.

“That’s probably a good idea.”

“Should we get back to the hotel then?” Theo suggests.

I nod and gesture for Potter to get up. As we’re about to step out of the room there’s a
cracking noise from outside. Two female voices bickering back and forth are followed by a
frantic Granger running straight for me and an exhausted freckles trailing just behind her.

“Thank Merlin you’re okay.” Granger says as she throws herself into my arms.
“What’s going on?”

“They’re coming for you.” Freckles answers. “We just received word from Remus.”

“We have to get you out of here.” Granger attempts to drag me away but I don’t move. Her
eyes dart down to my feet which are firmly planted on the ground and then she meets my
eyes. “What are you doing Draco? Didn’t you hear Gin? They’re coming to arrest you, we
have to go.”

“Go where, exactly?” I ask.

“I don’t know, somewhere, anywhere! You violated your terms, they’re going to give you life
in prison.”

“So what’s the plan then? You want me to run?”

“Ideally, yes. It’s a far better option than rotting away in Azkaban.”

“Come here.” I say as I pull her into me and caress her cheek with my hand. “I’m not
running.”

“But Draco-”

“I’m not running.” I repeat. “If I do then that’s all my life will ever be. The ministry needs a
bad guy, someone to pin everything on. Unfortunately, I’m that someone.”

“But you’re not the bad guy in this situation.”

“And all that matters is that you know that, love.” I push her hair out of her face and tuck it
behind her ear.

“What about all of the plans you made for us?” She asks, her voice breaking as tears begin to
fill her eyes. “What about the cottage and the white picket fence? How are we supposed to
have that if they send you back to Azkaban?”

“As nice as all of those things would be, the only thing that I ever really wanted was you,
Hermione. The cottage, flowers and dinner parties would just be an added bonus.”

There’s another cracking sound from outside, several actually.

They’re here.

“It’s time, love. Maybe if I go willingly they’ll grant me visitation rights, you can come see
me at my fancy resort. Azkaban’s food is to die for.” I joke, earning a small laugh from her.
Gods I love that sound.

“Can I at least walk out with you?” She asks.

I nod and intertwine our hands together. With my free hand, I tilt her chin back and press my
lips onto hers. No matter how many times I experience it, I’ll never get over the way she
makes me feel. Peace was never something I was in possession of, not until she came into my
life. When I’m with her it’s all I feel, even when she’s driving me insane. People often like to
talk about their purpose in the world, that they believe they were sent to do something
specific. I always thought they were mental and full of shit but I get it now because I’ve
found mine.

I wasn’t brought into this world to be the perfect Malfoy heir, the most lethal soldier or
biggest prat of all time. I was given this life for one single thing, to love this absolutely
brilliant, maddening, pain in my arse, breathing taking woman.

If everyone’s purpose in life were a competition, I’d say I won.

As we’re making our way out I exchange quick goodbyes with Theo, Potter and freckles. I’m
glad none of them are making a big deal out of this, it’s not like I’m dying. The crisp air
brushes against my skin as we step outside but instead of the comfort and relief I usually
experience, I feel a sharp sting in my left shoulder and then a warm sensation trickling down
the length of my torso.

I’m bleeding.

I’m fucking bleeding?

Letting go of Granger’s hand, I poke at the wound to make sure I’m not just seeing things.
When my finger presses against it and it hurts, like actually hurts, I realize that this is real.
The knife wedged in my shoulder is real and so is the blood.

What the fuck is going on?

As I’m removing the knife the six figures just ahead step into the light. Those weren’t aurors
or any sort of ministry members that we heard arrive. It was death eaters. Do these things
never die? I swear for every one you kill another seems to pop up out of nowhere.

I feel a small breeze near my cheek as a knife flies through the air towards me. The man in
the middle throws another and then another, each directly for my face. What a dick. Theo,
Potter and freckles are already dashing towards them. Granger turns to me and there’s a look
in her eye, one that says I got this and I couldn’t agree more. Leaning down, I place a quick
kiss on her forehead before we both split off to join our friends.

Where did these bastards even come from? They're putting up a far better fight than their
comrades and they seem to have more than one brain cell each. I glance over at Theo who is
struggling to land a single hit on his opponent which makes me feel better about my own
struggle to do the same. Potter and freckles have teamed up which seems to have done the
trick seeing as I just witnessed them kill a man. Theo must’ve noticed as well because he’s
now at my side.

We move in sync, not needing to verbalize our thoughts, we just know what the other is
thinking - something we’ve been able to do since we were kids. He swings high, I go low. He
steps forward and I move around to the back. The teamwork pans out in our favor as we
finally manage to take out the two soldiers we were failing to dispose of on our own earlier.
Three down, three to go.

As a rather small and stubby man heads towards us, I notice Potter and freckles out of the
corner of my eye taking care of the one to the left of us but what about Granger? My eyes are
frantically scanning the area when Theo says “Go. I can handle this one on my own.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, now go find her.”

I waste no time before doing just that. I checked the area by Potter first, maybe I just didn’t
notice her the first time but no, nothing. I glance over in Theo’s direction just to double check
but she’s not there either. Where the fuck is she? I run over to the other side of the house and
I feel my stomach drop as soon as I turn the corner and my eyes land on her. She’s hunched
over, her hands clutching onto her stomach and the bastard looks over at me with a smug
fucking look on his face as he pulls his arm back. Her body falls down onto the grass as soon
as the knife is removed.

“Do we think she’s lucky enough to survive it twice?” He taunts.

Fucking piece of shit.

Every ounce of regret, anger and shame I’ve been bottling up since that day in the forbidden
forest fuels me as I lunge for the man. I don’t even bother to try and dodge the knife he’s just
thrown at me. As soon as it buries into my right thigh I causally remove it and toss it off to
the side as I continue to close in on him. Once he’s within arms reach I tightly wrap my hand
around his throat. He raises his arm and slams it down onto mine in an attempt to break free
but my hold on him only tightens. He presses his finger into the open gash on my shoulder
and while I feel the pain, that doesn’t affect me either.

He raises his hand again and this time I grab onto it and fold it backwards, breaking his wrist.
Dropping him, I kick the side of his jaw and then his stomach. Retrieving my last remaining
knife, I drive it down into his left eye. While he screams, I pick up the shovel by my feet. In
one swift motion, I raise it in the air and slam it down into the mid of his neck, the metal edge
cutting straight through.

“Draco.” The sound of her calling for me snaps me back to reality, to the reality where I just
watched her get stabbed – again. I practically throw myself onto the ground beside her and
frantically lift her into my arms.

“Hey, hey. You’re okay, you’re going to be okay.” I tell her as I move the hair out of her face
and brush my thumb against her cheek. “Everything is going to be okay.”
She tilts her head to look down at her stomach as she raises her hands which are both
completely stained red. “Well that doesn’t look good.” She says, her voice weak.

“No, no it’s fine.” I say. “ We can fix it, we can get someone to fix it. Potter!” I shout, praying
that he hears me.
“You’re hurt.” She says as she struggles to raise her hand high enough to point at my
shoulder.

“It’s nothing.”

“I’m sorry that they hurt you.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, love.”

“You don’t deserve it, you never deserved it.” She coughs out. There’s blood, not just on her
abdomen but on her face now.

She’s coughing up blood.

“Potter!” I scream. "Potter get someone!" Please, somebody hear me, anyone. Fuck it. I begin
muttering enchantment after enchantment to try and heal her, to try and get some of this
damn blood back into her body but it’s not working. Nothing is fucking working. Why isn’t
it working?

“Come on!”

I continue trying every spell I know. I’m channeling every last drop of magic and energy
within me but it’s still not enough. I’m not enough. I can’t save her.

“Can you tell me more about it?” She asks.

“About what, my love?” I question, trying my best to keep my composure. I don’t want her to
see that I’m worried or scared but holy fuck I am. Her eyes are barely half open, her voice is
so weak it’s almost inaudible and there’s blood everywhere.

so much blood.

“The cottage.”

I shout for Potter, for Theo, for freckles, even for the damn muggles that may be nearby.

“Draco.”

“Huh? Yes, what is it?”

“The cottage.” She repeats. “Tell me more about the cottage.”

My eyes are looking everywhere, for any sign that someone heard me but nothing.

Where the fuck are they?!

“The cottage.” I say, trying to stay calm and return my focus to her. “It would be small but
not too small.” I begin, my voice breaking as I try to hold back the tears. “It would have three
bedrooms. One would be ours, the second would be turned into a library and the third would
eventually be our kid’s room.”
“I didn't… know you.. wanted… kids.” She struggles to get out.

“Of course I want kids with you Hermione. I want everything with you.”

“Tell… me… more..” She requests. “The.. flowers… you mentioned… flowers.”

She’s slipping. I can see it, I can hear it, I can fucking feel it. She’s slipping away from me.

“We’d plant all of the flowers.” I say, my vision of her blurring as the tears I was trying so
hard to keep back force their way out. “Peonies of course because they’re your favorite and
then maybe lilies, those are my mother’s favorite.”

“What’s your… favorite?”

“My favorite flower?”

She slowly nods.

“Goldenrods.” I answer.

“Those aren’t flowers.” She lightly chuckles. “They’re weeds.”

“To some but to others they’re viewed as a wildflower and regardless of what people classify
them as, everyone agrees that they add a golden touch to the world. Once you notice the true
beauty in them you’ll find that every other flower is ruined forever, you’ll never be able to
find anything better.”

Her lips pull into a soft smile. “You aren’t.. talking about… flowers anymore.. are you?”

“I love you Hermione.” I lower my head and rest it on top of hers. “I love you so much. Just
hold on a little bit longer okay? Someone is coming.”

“I think goldenrods… are my new… favorite.” She whispers as her eyes close.

“No you can’t sleep, not right now love. Come on, open your eyes. You have to stay awake
for me, okay? Open your eyes. Open your eyes sweetheart.”

She’s not opening them. She’s not saying anything. She’s not moving, her chest is but barely.
Each of her breaths grow farther apart.

“Come on Hermione, stay with me.” I say as I lightly shake her body. “Stay with me love.”

No response.

“Dammit Hermione! You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to leave me again. Open your
fucking eyes!”

Still no response.

“Fuck!”
Her breaths are so shallow now and I can see the color draining from her face. She’s dying.
She’s fucking dying in my arms and I’m useless. I’m fucking useless.

“Harry!” I scream. “Harry please! It’s Hermione she-Harry she’s dying!” I cry out.
“Hermione is dying!”

There’s a rustling sound and I know it’s them and I should be relieved that they finally came
but I’m not because she’s still not opening her eyes, she’s still not looking at me or talking or
moving and why isn’t anyone doing anything?!

“What happened?” Potter frantically asks as she joins us on the ground, his eyes taking in the
giant hole in her stomach.

“We need to get her to a healer, we need to get her to St Mungos.” I tell him.

“St Mungos? Draco that’s– that’s all the way in London. We’d have to apparate and with her
current state it might kill her.”

“She’s already fucking dying!” I snap. “Get us to the damn hospital Harry! Please. I can’t
lose her, not again.”

“Okay, okay."

Ginny walks up and grabs onto his shoulder, Theo grabs onto mine and Potter grabs onto my
arm which is tightly wrapped around Granger and we apparate.
 Chapter 91

St Mungos

It felt like I was moving in slow motion when we arrived. It felt like everyone was moving in
slow motion. They weren’t tending to her fast enough, they didn’t seem concerned enough
about her injury, no one seemed to be doing enough and I wanted to rip their throats out, I
even verbalized that which earned me a threat from security which only made me laugh. It
took both Potter and Theo holding me back to stop me from showing the fuckwit how
moronic he was for doing so.

They rushed her into a back room and they wouldn’t let me be with her. They made me wait
outside with all of the other sobbing messes who anxiously waited for their loved ones. It felt
like years had passed before they finally came out and got us. She’s stable is what they said
but unconscious and they weren’t sure how long it would be until she wakes.

She’s fine.

She’s alive.

That’s what matters.

I’m at her bedside now and I haven’t let go of her hand since we were brought back here. Not
when Potter or Freckles were crying and hugging her and especially not when those bitchy
healers ran some more diagnostics. They can sneer at me all they want but I’m not moving,
I’m not leaving her. They can work around me. Fuck them.

The sound of her heartbeat is the only thing keeping me sane right now. It’s the only thing I
have telling me that she’s still alive because she sure as hell doesn’t look like it. She’s pale
and her hands are freezing. I’ve never wanted to hear the sound of her voice more than I do
right now.

“You could talk to her, you know.” Freckles says as she enters the room and hands me a cup
of coffee. “There’s studies that show talking to someone when they’re in a coma helps them
wake up. Of course, it was a muggle study but I still think it holds credibility.”

“Okay.” I say, setting the cup down on the table beside me.

“Are you going to try it?”

“Not while you’re in here.” I scoff. “Merlin knows you’d write down whatever I say and
throw it in my face one day.”

“Yeah, probably.” She shrugs. I’m glad she’s treating me the same right now. Potter and Theo
have been talking to me like a child, as if even the slightest shift in their tone might cause me
to break. They’re wrong. I’m way past that. All I am right now is numb.
“Let me know if you need anything, we’ll be right outside.” Freckles tells me before exiting
the room. Once the door clicks shut I scoot closer to Granger.

“If you can hear me right now that’s great but don’t ever tell freckles that you did, I don’t
want her to get a big head about it.” I say as I brush my fingers through her hair. “You have a
lot of people that care about you Granger. They would be absolutely lost without you, I’d be
absolutely lost without you. So you need to wake up soon, okay? Can you do that?”

I know she’s unconscious right now but still, I wait a moment before speaking again to give
her time to respond.

“I’ve been thinking about our kids.” I continue. “If we have a daughter I think I’d like to have
her middle name be Ella. My grandmother’s full name is Druella but those close called her
Ella. My mother told me if she had a daughter she would’ve named her that. Of course if you
have any objections then we don’t need to, you would be the one giving birth to her and all
but I just thought I’d put that out there.”

I feel ridiculous right now. Ridiculous but also comforted by the possibility of her hearing me
and that inside her head she’s replying to me.

“I’d like to take our kids to that Christmas market you took me to during fifth year. We can
all wear hideous jumpers and you can teach them how to ice skate. We can show them the
giant Christmas tree and everything. That’s one of my favorite memories of us, I wish you
could remember it. You lit up when we were there.”

When my mother had explained the true reason for Granger’s memory loss I began thinking
of different ways to help trigger her memories, to bring them forward enough so that we
could return them permanently. One idea stood out the most but it’s complicated. You cast
your own memories onto them in a way, it’s extremely difficult to do because their own
thoughts fight against yours but maybe it would be easier to do right now. I’m already talking
to her as if she can hear me, might as well give it a shot.

Leaning in, I let out a slow and deep exhale before channeling my focus on the one specific
memory. It’s like legilimency in the way I can feel it when I access her thoughts but instead
of sifting through hers I try to push them aside to make room for my own. It takes some time
but eventually I manage to plant it. Closing my eyes, I watch as the memory plays out.

“I am not doing that.” I tell her as she approaches.

“I paid 12 pounds each for these, you will be putting them on.” She says.

“I’ll pay you triple to return them right now.”

She grabs me by the sleeve of my coat, drags me over to a nearby bench and begins kicking
off her shoes. Once she has the skates on she begins pulling at the laces of my shoes. I
attempt to swat her hands away but she smacks the back of mine, my skin instantly turning
red.

“Some would classify that as abuse Granger.” I say, rubbing the back of my hand.
It’s like watching those moving pictures Granger played that night at the hotel. Everything is
so clear, it almost feels like I’m there again.

I watch as she effortlessly steps onto the ice and moves over to the side for me to do the same.
Carefully, I place my left foot onto the surface and instantly slip. Her hand tightens around
mine as I steady myself before bringing my right foot forward. Now on the ice, several people
flying by us, I stand frozen in place.

“It’s just like roller skating.” She tells me.

“Granger, I have no idea what the fuck that is.”

She lets out a small giggle as she glides forward, pulling me along. My knees buckle as we
make our way around the area, my free hand out to the side to help balance myself. "Try to
keep your torso straight and just slide your feet." She instructs.

Straightening my posture, I slowly push back my right foot and then left. I'm still a bit wobbly
but it's already far better than I was doing before.

“There you go!" She cheers. "You're getting it."

As we're gliding across the ice, a small child squeezes between us, bumping into Granger's
leg. She loses her balance for a moment and I'm not even sure how but I manage to turn in
front of her and grab her.

We're now standing in the middle of the ice, my right hand on her waist, my left still
intertwined with hers and her free hand gripping onto the lapel of my coat.

Her eyes glisten as she looks up at me, the lights hanging above us causing the hint of yellow,
almost gold-like, flakes in her eyes to become more prominent. Her smile is barely peeking
out from under my scarf that's wrapped around her neck and her curls dance behind her as
the wind blows through.

The tip of her nose and cheeks are a bright shade of red from the cold air but in my head I’d
like to think that it’s due to her being just as flustered as I am right now.

As the memory comes to the end I rest my forehead on her hand. “You had me absolutely
bewitched, love.” I whisper. “Though I think everyone knows you had your hooks in me far
before then.” I didn’t know how it would feel to share a memory with her. I figured it would
be odd at first but would then turn into an almost sweet moment. Then again I had imagined
she’d be awake for it and we’d be able to talk.

I pictured her asking a million questions. Like what could have possibly happened for me to
accompany her to a muggle Christmas market? And for her to scold me for being so stubborn
about putting the skates on. And then I imagined she would make some comment about her
appearance because it was from my perspective. For the first time she would see herself the
way that I do.
She would’ve noticed the gold flakes in her eyes like I did that night. She would’ve seen the
way her cheeks were flushed and how elegantly she glided across the ice like it was nothing.

But she’s not awake and she’s not asking questions. She’s with me physically but emotionally
I’m on my own right now. It was bittersweet reliving that moment. I can’t tell if I want to
smile, laugh or cry but I guess it doesn’t matter because I don’t think I have it in me to do any
of those, not right now at least.

“I have loved you for the greater part of my life, Hermione.” I say as I sit back up. “It took
me some time to pinpoint the exact moment I first fell in love with you but I did manage to.
One day I’d like to tell you about it, I can even show you if you’d like. I think you’d like it,
though you’d probably be confused as to why it was that specific moment. It’ll make sense
after I explain it to you. I know you’re tired love and that you’re doing your best but I’m
going to be selfish right now and ask you to try harder. I need you to wake up. I need you to
continue to exist in this world with me.”

I’m waiting for her to magically open her eyes and say my name as she smiles up at me but
she doesn’t. Of course she doesn’t. Me talking to her and showing her some memory of us
during the holidays won’t just fix her. My head drops into my hand and I’m rubbing my eyes
when I feel it, the smallest twitch of her finger against mine.

“Granger?”

And then another twitch.

“Granger, love.” I say as I shoot up. “If you can hear me, if you’re in there, give me a sign.”

Another twitch and then another and another and then suddenly her body starts convulsing.
What the–

“Draco Malfoy.” A voice booms through the room as the door swings open. “You are under
arrest for the violation of your probation.”

“Can you be useful and get a fucking healer in here?” I shoot over at him.

He ignores my request and gestures for the two men on either side of him to move forward.
They’re trying to pull me away from her but I’m fighting back and I’m calling out for her to
hold on and that a healer is coming.

“Listen here you dimwitted oaf!” I shout at the man on my left. “If you touch me again
I will kill you.”

The pair look over at the man who is still standing in the doorway and wait for his nod of
approval before continuing. One is tugging at my shoulder while the other is attempting to
remove my hand from Granger who is still seizing. Releasing her arm, I grab the guard’s
wrist and twist it back. He lets out a hissing sound as his bone breaks in my hand.

I’ve just swiped the clipboard from the bedside table and broke it in half over my knee, my
hand is raised and I’m about to make good on my word to kill him when two healers come
rushing into the room and start yelling for us all to leave as they begin working. Dropping
both the clipboard and the guard’s arm, I turn on my heel and watch as they run a diagnostic.

“What’s wrong with her? Why is she seizing? Is she okay?” I ask but I get no response, no
answers. “Is she going to be fucking okay?!” My voice more commanding this time. Finally,
the elderly woman looks up at me.

“You need to leave the room Mr. Malfoy.” She tells me.

“You heard the nice lady, time to leave.” The man says.

“Shut the fuck up.” I spit over at him before turning my attention back to the healer. “What’s
happening to her?”

“I’m not sure but if you’ll give us some space to work I promise we’ll do everything we can.
Now please, vacate the area.”

Grabbing Granger's hand, I hold it tightly between both of mine and kiss her knuckles. “I
promise I’ll come back for you.”

There’s a sharp sting in the center of my back and every muscle in my body stiffens. I really
fucking hate stuns. Two pairs of hands grab onto me to keep me from falling over. As I’m
being dragged away I keep my eyes on Granger until she’s no longer in my line of sight.

“We’ll figure something out.” Potter says as we pass by him. “Remus will help you!”

I want to yell at him, to tell him to not worry about me and just stay with Granger but I can’t
because of this damn stupefy. If Glenice were to ask if I felt inclined to kill someone right
now, my answer would be a giant yes.

June 20 2001

I was just about to be transferred to Azkaban when Potter stormed into the room announcing
that I was granted a hearing. He was so proud of himself when commanding them to back
down, how adorable. Potter spent a few minutes filling me in on the details. I guess Lupin
spent hours in Shacklebolt’s office convincing him that my violation was necessary, that if I
hadn’t done so the new death eater regime would still be up and running. Apparently he even
went as far as to claim that I was responsible for saving us from yet another war.

As heartwarming as it was to hear that he spoke so fondly of me behind closed doors, all I
cared about was finding out how Granger was doing. Potter picked up on this and the way his
energy shifted told me everything that I needed to know.

“She’s still not awake.” He says. “She is stable though and hasn’t had any incidents like the
one from that day.”

“Do they know what caused it?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “They did say that she had a spike in brain activity, like an overwhelming
amount and that could have possibly caused it but they don’t know for sure.”

A spike in brain activity. Was that because of me? Did I fucking do that to her?

“Lupin got the Wizengamot to agree to letting a few of us testify on your behalf.” Potter tells
me.

“Cool.”

“Cool?”

“Yes Potter, cool. What else am I supposed to say? I’m not a moron, no matter who testifies it
won’t change anything. Just like last time, their minds are already made up. This whole
hearing is a waste of everyone’s time and you know it.”

“It never hurts to try.”

“It does when you’re the one having to stand in that cage lined in spikes for hours on end.” I
scoff.

“Malfoy-”

“If you don’t mind Potter, I’d appreciate it if you just left me alone right now. I have a long
day of listening to people talk tomorrow so some quiet would be nice.”

“Alright.” He says as he gets up. “She’s going to be okay, Hermione. They’re going to make
sure she’s okay.”

Yeah. They fucking better.

June 21 2001

“Mr. Malfoy.” Shacklebolt begins. “I trust you remember how this process went the last
time?”

“Of course minister, you never forget your first.” I quip.

“Then if you wouldn’t mind, please state your full name.”

“Draco Lucius Malfoy.”

“Mr. Malfoy, you find yourself before the Wizengamot today on the following charges.
Violation of clear terms and conditions when it came to your release from Azkaban, assault
of a guard and I was recently informed that you made one of the interns cry this morning?”

“He tried to give me a blueberry scone.”

“I don’t see how offering you a treat warranted the string of expletives and insults I was made
known of.”

“I hate blueberry.” I simply state.

“I see.” He says with a rather fed up and exhausted expression. “In regards to the other
charges, do you have any objections?”

“Just one.”

“Go on.”

“You said clear terms and conditions, I’d argue they were anything but that. There’s several
grey areas, not that I’m pleading not guilty or anything, I just thought you’d like to know.
Whoever is in charge of composing that paperwork is a negligent imbecile.”

Shacklebolt lets out an exaggerated sigh before saying “I’m the one in charge of said
paperwork, Mr. Malfoy.”

“Well, a little constructive criticism never hurt.” I shrug.

“If that’s all, let’s hear from our first witness.” Shacklebolt signals the guards in the back to
open the doors and soon after Lupin walks in. He gives me his usual sympathetic look as he
makes his way up to the stand.

“Please state your name.”

“Remus John Lupin.”

This was already dreadful enough the first time around, I’m really not looking forward to
having this piece of my past repeat. Lupin starts off just like he had before by stating his
occupation, his involvement with the collaboration of the auror department and myself and
then begins his speech that I’m sure he spent all night drafting.

“Around three years ago I stood in this very spot, many of you were there that day and while
you may have no recollection of what I had said, I do. While this may all feel like a repeat of
Mr. Malfoy's first trial, there are several differences, all of which have to do with the
individual standing in the cage to the right of me.” He says as he motions over to me.

Yes Lupin, I’m sure they were very confused about who you were referring to and are
grateful you took the time to point me out.

“Last time I said that I wasn’t here to justify or excuse any of his actions.” He continues.
“Today, I am here to do just that. Mr. Malfoy did the job we had assigned to him, he executed
the remainder of the death eaters and did so without any casualties to our own. I feel the need
to remind you all that he was not unattended when he abandoned his post, he was in the
company of three of our own aurors, respected aurors might I add. As Mr. Malfoy so kindly
mentioned earlier, there are some holes in his terms and conditions. His job was to assist in
razing the death eaters and he was to do so under the supervision of an auror, both of which
he did.”
My eyes scan over the sea of robes that line the stands before me, some are nodding their
heads, others are scratching their chins as they mull over his statement but a majority of them
look utterly uninterested in what he has to say.

“Duties aside, I’d like to speak on his character. The Draco Malfoy I met a few years ago was
a snarky and pompous teenage boy who would've stood back and watched as the entire world
burned down in front of him. While he’s still just as snide and self righteous, he’s grown in
more ways than one. He’ll probably hate me for saying this but I’ve seen him cry, I’ve seen
him completely break and though he may have never verbalized it to me, I’ve seen the
remorse he has for past actions. This young man has been through hell and back and I have
no shame in admitting that if I were in his position, I would’ve lost it a long time ago. I’d like
to once again remind everyone that thanks to him, the death eaters have been completely
dismantled. Are we really going to assign a life sentence to the individual responsible for
saving us from yet another devastating war?”

The room is silent as he concludes his testimony but eventually the questions begin rolling
out. They aren’t as harsh this time, probably because he works for the ministry now, but it’s
clear they’re still adamant about locking me up and throwing away the key. At least they’re
consistent.

Twenty minutes is how long it takes for Lupin’s segment to come to a close. I stopped paying
attention to the questions the second a squeaky voice woman started speaking, there are some
people in this world who shouldn’t be allowed to talk - that witch being one of them.

Next up is Potter who seems all too surprised when they ask for him to state his name. I don’t
think he’s realized that his whole chosen one celebrity status has reached the end of its time,
poor bloke. He adjusts his glasses and clears his throat before unfolding the crumbled piece
of parchment in his hands.

“During Draco Malfoy’s time with the auror department he spent most of his days being an
absolute pain in my arse, from rummaging through and disorganizing my desk to insulting
me in my own home. He was never someone I would have imagined myself willingly
spending time with but now I would consider him a friend.”

I roll my eyes at the term.

“I’m sure he’s rolling his eyes at me right now.” Potter says. What a git. “I won’t stand before
you all today and say that he’s made a complete turn around because he hasn’t but he has
changed. I don’t think anyone, myself included, ever took the time to truly acknowledge the
difficulties he’s had to face. Have any of you ever had to make the decision of whether or not
to kill your own father? Because I know I haven’t.”

“What are you trying to get at here, Mr. Potter?” An older gentleman dressed in a black robe
questions.

“Well if you’d just wait a second, I was getting to the point.” Potter bites out, even he looks
surprised by the amount of attitude in his voice. “Apologies, what I’m trying to say is Draco
Malfoy has been in that position and he didn’t need time to decide. Yes, he may have
technically deserted his post but it wasn’t an attempt to run away. He continued to follow
through with the orders given. I don’t see how him successfully completing a task the entire
ministry was failing to do on their own should earn him a life in prison.”

“How do you propose we handle the situation?” A younger woman, clearly a new addition to
the Wizengamot, asks.

“A full pardon.” Potter’s answer earns several gasps and enraged oppositions from the
council.

“He’s a murderer!” One of them shouts.

“He doesn’t deserve mercy!” Another yells.

Potter is trying to speak over them but his single voice is lost within the collection of theirs.
It’s not until Shacklebolt himself stands and commands everyone to calm down that the room
falls silent once again.

“Mr. Potter, we appreciate your time and insight on this case. You may be excused now.”
Shacklebolt informs him.

“But they didn’t question me yet?”

“I don’t believe opening the floor to questions would be productive at this time. We will
break for recess and continue with the remaining witnesses afterwards.”

2:15 pm

I understand that my comfort isn’t at the top of their list of priorities but a chair or perhaps
even a bathroom break would be greatly appreciated. During their recess I asked one of the
guards for either of those things and he practically laughed in my face. A qualification to
work at the ministry must be being a complete wanker. Refusing the use of the bathroom has
to be against my basic human rights, I bet the muggle court would let me go.

As expected, freckles was the next speaker this afternoon. She started off rather strong, stated
her full name and even held eye contact with the woman who interrogated her about our
“relationship” during my first trial. Her testimony followed the same premise as Potter and
Lupin’s, she went on about how I’ve matured and somehow managed to find an emotion
other than anger. Almost immediately after she finished the questioning began.

“On May 25 Draco Malfoy failed to return to the auror department following his session with
his mind healer, correct?” The witch freckles has been eying down asks.

“That’s correct.”

“And it was you who he forced along, was it not?”

“Forced is an exaggerated way to put it but yes, I was with him.”

“Was Mr. Malfoy aware that by doing this it was a clear violation of his probation?”

“Yes but-”

“So you admit that Mr. Malfoy was never confused as to what he was and was not allowed to
do during his time outside of Azkaban?”

Freckles takes a deep breath and puts on her best fake smile. “May I ask what your name
is?”

The woman is clearly confused by both the question and her calm demeanor but regardless,
she answers. “My name is Alice but you may refer to me as-”

“Great.” Freckles interjects. “Alice, I know you’re not familiar with the concept of letting
someone finish their sentence but I’m going to challenge you to do just that right now.”

“Pardon m-”

Freckles raises her finger “Tsk Alice, already off to a poor start.”

The witch turns to Shacklebolt and waits for him to step in but he remains silent. I, on the
other hand, can’t help but laugh. I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of Weaslette than I
am right now, this is the entertainment I needed to make this dreadful day sufferable.

“As I was saying.” Freckles states. “Yes, Draco was aware that a day out in London was
against his terms but that’s all it was, a day out. If any of you were to spend three years
confined to a small cell with little to no human interaction what would be the first thing you
would want to do? Go outside and see the world, see people. Draco is no different than the
rest of us, he’s a human being and wanted to experience life again. He didn’t run off to
commit some sort of crime, he spent his day playing tourist. He visited Buckingham palace,
local parks, even a bloody muggle wax museum!” She exclaims.

For the first time today, the witches and wizards that make up the council seem to actually be
listening.

“I’m sure none of you care to hear this but I lost myself after the battle at Hogwarts. My
brother, Fred, was killed as were many of my friends and former professors. The war took a
toll on a lot of us and as much as I hated to admit it, I was no exception. I had sworn off
magic entirely and rarely left my house.” When she looks over at me, the tears brimming her
eyes instantly make me uncomfortable.

Never have I seen her this way, not during the battle, not when we sat on the edge of the
fountain that day in London. This is new and I don’t know how to handle it, to process it. The
look in her eye can only be described as thankfulness and love. Not the same type of love she
has for Potter or that I feel towards Granger but nonetheless, love.

“That day with him was what I needed, he was what I needed. If it weren’t for him, I don’t
think I would’ve ever found myself again. Draco saved me.”
Now you’ve done it freckles. I mean for fucks sake, I swear I just saw the ancient man on the
far end of the room wipe a tear from his eye. I miss the days where we only ever insulted one
another. The woman, Alice, hesitantly raises her hand and clears her throat.

“Oh, right.” Freckles says as she wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. “Yes?”

“While that was a touching story, it doesn’t change the fact that he violated his agreement.”

“For Merlin’s sake.” She groans. “If I hear the word violate one more bloody time I might
just lose it! You people love to throw that term around but refuse to acknowledge the fact that
each time he’s done so it’s resulted in getting your dirty work done.”

“Miss Weasley, please try to calm down.” Shacklebolt warns.

“Respectfully Minister, no. So what if he didn’t return to the auror office that day? If he
hadn’t then we never would’ve brought Yucovitch in.”

“If i’m not mistaken, Yucovitch’s capture didn’t aid in the process of eliminating the rest of
the death eaters.” An individual in a red robe states.

“So?” She scoffs. “That doesn’t change the fact that he accomplished more within three days
than any of you did in three entire months! You can say all you want about Draco Malfoy, list
off every single terrible thing he’s done but you can’t argue with the truth.”

“Which is?”

“Without him you would all be shit out of luck and no, I don’t apologize for my language.
Without Draco you would most likely still be looking for a single crumb of the death
eaters. Thanks to him your children get to live a life free of the horrors that my peers and I
had to experience. Thanks to Draco you get to go announce to the entire wizarding
community that you and you alone managed to rid the world of evil.”

Everyone is too stunned to speak, too blindsided by the lack of respect. These pompous tarts
aren’t used to anyone talking to them in such a casual yet harsh manner, a humbling
experience this was for them and I’m forever grateful I got to be in attendance for it. Once it’s
clear to Shacklebolt that there will be no further questions for Freckles, he politely excuses
her.

Now that the three numpties have spoken they’ll probably call for another recess and then
reconvene to give me my sentencing just like last time. I don’t know why they act like they
need time to discuss everything when everyone already knows what their decision is. I think
they do it just to fuck with me, they have to know how cramped it is in this stupid cage.

I’m cleaning the dirt from under my nails as Shacklebolt begins speaking but what he says
catches me off guard.

“Please state your name.”

What? Who else could possibly be here to speak on my behalf?

“Glenice Nuttall.”

No fucking way.

“Mr. Nuttall, would you be so kind as to state your occupation and relationship to the
accused?”

“Gladly.” He says. “My main occupation is providing psychotherapy services here at the
ministry to aid in the rehabilitation of various individuals, on the side I offer consultation
services at St Mungos. Mr. Malfoy was required to meet with me on a weekly basis upon his
release from Azkaban.”

“And you are here on your own accord, correct?”

“Correct, Minister.”

“Very well, the floor is yours.”

“Thank you.” Glenice takes a moment to turn his head in my direction and offer me a small
smile and slight nod before beginning. “I was assigned to provide the ministry updates on Mr.
Malfoy’s mental and emotional state. I was to inform them if I ever believed he was at risk of
hurting either himself or anyone else. While Mr. Malfoy was a rather unpleasant individual
for a majority of our sessions, he never once showed any signs of the previously mentioned.
He’s a very bright young man, possibly too bright for his own good. While he may appear to
many as a rather emotionless individual he is quite the opposite.”

Oh great, another person talking about how “sensitive” I am.

“While many of us express emotions outwardly, Mr. Malfoy tends to keep it within. I can’t
say I know everything about his upbringing but from what he’s shared with me it’s clear he
wasn’t raised in an environment in which he was taught or allowed to ever show struggle. At
a young age our parents made sure we knew that feelings are normal. That it’s okay to be sad,
angry, frustrated, even happy. Mr. Malfoy was not offered the same.”

Glenice flips open the folder in front of him and holds up a piece of parchment. The words on
it are too small to read from this distance but the ministry crest on the bottom is large enough
that someone on the complete opposite of the room would be able to identify it.

“I was given this letter alongside his file a week before our first session. Most of it is legal
talk that I won’t bore you with but there is a section I’d like to share.” He removes the glasses
from the chest pocket of his coat, unfolds them and carefully puts them on before reading.
“The prisoner is a level three threat, he is unpredictable and manipulative. DO NOT engage
in physical contact. Prisoner is unstable, violent and has been classified as a high risk to
himself and others. Following my first meeting with him I immediately found myself
disagreeing with the majority of what was stated. For starters, and I’m sure it will hurt his
ego to hear this, but Mr. Malfoy is in fact extremely predictable.”

Yes Glenice, that did hurt my ego you wrinkly bastard.

“Predictable how?” The squeaky voiced woman from earlier questions. I really hate her
voice, surely there’s some sort of charm that can fix it. “Based on past reports he seems to
switch from calm to deadly in just a matter of seconds.”

“Miss..?”

“Reynolds.”

“Miss Reynolds.” Glenice says. “If you were to look closely at the events that led up to those
moments in which he seemed to snap out of nowhere you would see that one of two things
most likely happened. The first would be him having to choose between his life or another’s.
As much as we’d all like to believe we’d choose the latter, we would do just as he did. The
second is one I’d rather not speak on as someone else is far more suited to do so.” Everyone’s
gaze follows his hand as it extends out to his side and motions towards the back of the room.
The doors swing open and my eyes remain locked on her as she makes her way up to the
stand.

A million thoughts and questions are flooding my mind right now but I can’t make sense of a
single one as I watch Glenice moves aside and she steps into his place.

“Please state your name.” Shacklebolt requests, I can hear it in his voice and see it on his face
that he feels ridiculous for asking such a thing. Everyone in this bloody room knows who she
is.

“Hermione Jean Granger.”

 Chapter 92

“Miss Granger, we weren’t aware you would be joining us today.” Shacklebolt says.

“Now you are.” She clips. “Being adaptable is a major component in your job minister, it
would be wise of you to tap into that.”

Well fuck. And here we all thought freckles’ snippy attitude was going to be the most
surprising thing today.

“I understand your frustration.” The change in his tone makes it obvious that he’s no longer
talking to her as the Minister but instead, as a friend.

“My frustration?” She mocks. “Frustrated is an understatement but I know I don’t need to
tell you that.”

“If you’ll please just ca–”

“Do not tell me to calm down.”

He closes his eyes and lets out a deep sigh. “Alright, the floor is yours. At least try to be
respectful.”

“I’ll give it my best shot.” Granger sarcastically replies before directing her attention towards
the council. “I’m aware that you all prefer to just sit back and daydream but since you failed
to listen to me the first time, I demand you open your ears and pay close attention to what I
have to say.”

She offers them a moment for any objections but even they aren’t foolish enough to do so.
People like to say that I’m scary, unpredictable too apparently, but I’m nothing compared to
Granger when she’s angry. This woman commands a room and if she doesn’t agree with you,
she’ll make sure you know. She has a kind heart that’s far too big sometimes but that doesn’t
mean she’s soft. I fully believe this witch would’ve cut off the hand of any individual who
raised theirs right now.

This is fantastic. Confusing but nonetheless, fantastic.

“We’re gathered here today because Draco Malfoy violated his probation, yes?” She asks.

“That’s correct.” Shacklebolt replies.

“Wrong. We’re here because you have once again found it far easier to pin the blame of
others on a single individual. I must admit, I’m rather disappointed in all of you right now.”

I love it when she talks to people like they’re children, it’s easily the most offensive way to
speak to this lot.
“Disappointed but not surprised.” She says. “You can take the wizards and witches out of
Hogwarts but you can’t take the juvenile prejudice bullshit out of them.”

“Miss Granger.” Shacklebolt interjects. “I urge you to tread carefully.”

“And I urge you to be the man that earned the title of minister of magic in the first place. You
were aware of his involvement with The Order, of the invaluable information and help he
provided us and yet you did nothing. Has the stress of politics broken you down so much that
you’ve misplaced your conscience Kingsley?”

“There were protocols to be followed.”

“Since when has being a coward fallen onto the list of protocols? I understand that you were
new to the position, that you wanted to earn the respect of your colleagues and the wizarding
community, but this is someone’s life we’re talking about.”

“I understand–”

“No you don’t understand!” Granger flips open the same folder Glenice pulled from earlier
and angrily holds up a piece of parchment. “This was the letter Harry read on my behalf three
years ago. In one part I state that this trial is not about determining whether someone is good
or evil but about a boy who was never given a choice. Years later, Draco was given a choice.
He was given the choice of whether or not to assist the ministry. Countless times he could’ve
fled and he would’ve been successful in doing so but he didn’t. He chose to stay, to fight with
us once again.”

She places the paper back in the folder and takes a deep breath.

“As I’m sure all of you have, I’ve seen the countless articles that circulated the stands
following his trial. The death eater and his golden girl. Whatever it takes to make the front
page, right?” She scoffs. “Money grab title aside, Skeeter did manage to bring up a valid
question for once. What would have Hermione Granger said that day if she were
present? Well, I’m here and I’m present, so go ahead and ask me.”

“What is it you’d like for me to ask, Miss Granger?” Shacklebolt questions.

“The same thing you asked Draco in this very room three years ago, if I was in love with
him.”

“This isn’t neces–”

“Just ask the bloody question Kingsley.”

He takes a moment to gather himself, the man is clearly struggling to keep both his
composure and professionalism. I’m also struggling but not in either of those departments.
What I’m struggling with is understanding what the fuck is going on right now. I’m almost
certain I blacked out for the first few minutes of her testimony.

I mean she’s here. She’s walking and talking and she’s really ripping these knobheads a new
one. And what’s even more fucked is that she’s doing it on my behalf. I’ve always been in
awe of this witch but my gods, she is truly captivating right now.

“Were you, Hermione Granger, in love with Draco Malfoy?” Shacklebolt finally asks.

Without even the slightest bit of hesitation she confidently says “Yes and I still am. I have
been in love with Draco Malfoy since the day he bought me my favorite flowers on a random
Thursday just because. I was in love with him that night when he let me have the last cookie
even though he clearly wanted it for himself, when he gave me an early copy of my favorite
book and that day when I dragged him to a muggle Christmas market and forced him to go
ice skating with me.” Her head turns and her eyes catch mine. “And I was in love with him
when I gifted him that very watch on his left wrist.”

There it is. That look. One she hasn’t given me in years. She’s seeing me and us and she
remembers.

She fucking remembers.

My hands grip onto the bars of the cage as I step forward. “Hermione?” I call out.

“Hi.” She smiles. “I missed you.”

What the fuck. What the fuck? What. The. Actual. Fuck.

“How did–when did–I don’t understand.”

“I’ll explain everything, I promise.” She tells me before turning back to face the council and
continuing on with her speech. “Draco Malfoy was first a pawn in his father’s game, then
Voldemort’s and now the ministry’s. He’s always done what was expected of him, what was
needed. But when does he finally get to do what he wants? When does he finally get to live
his own life?”

Granger steps out from behind the stand and approaches the council.

“You may want to argue that all of his past decisions were his own but you know they
weren’t.” She says. “With his father, he was a child doing whatever it took to earn the love
we were all given for free from our parents. With Voldemort, he was trying to stay alive. And
with the ministry… I have so many things to say but I’ll keep it short. You all gave him the
choice to either continue living in solitary confinement or in the real world under strict
supervision. There has always been rules and stipulations when it came to his life. Don’t you
think after twenty-one years of fighting he’s earned the right to be at peace? To not have to
report to anyone and just simply exist for once?”

Peace. That sounds nice.

Shacklebolt is the first to speak amongst the group. “And you trust that if he were granted a
pardon, to walk out of this courtroom today, that he would bring no further harm to anyone?”

“I do, yes.” Granger says.

“How can you be so certain?”

“Because he’ll have me.”

7:00 pm

Four hours. Four grueling fucking hours I’ve been left alone in this room, my only company
being the janitor that came in to sweep. The council broke off for a recess hours ago and still
haven’t returned. I have to admit, today has been strange. Lupin and Potter both failed to
surprise me but Freckles and Glenice both managed to.

Then there’s Granger. My Granger. I wanted more time with her, to ask how she was here
since the last I heard she was still very much unconscious but most of all I wanted to figure
out just how much she remembered. I mean it’s clear she remembers a decent amount
considering the things she brought up but was that it? Or did she have everything back? And
if so, how?

I think I’m going insane.

The doors swing open and the collection of black and red robes begin filing in. Not long after
Lupin, Potter, Freckles, Glenice and Granger also enter. Shacklebolt looks like he’s lived
through an entire war over the last four hours. His movements are slow as he enters the room,
there’s an exhausted and blank look on his face as he finds his seat and stares down at the
files in front of him.

“There were a lot of discussions to be had.” He begins. “Mr. Malfoy was offered the chance
of a reduced or even full pardon of his sentencing if he were to successfully complete the task
assigned to him, which he did manage to do. At the same time, he was also made aware of
the fact that if he were to violate any of the terms he would be immediately sent back to
Azkaban. So how do we decide which to honor?”

Everyone is hanging on Shacklebolt’s every word as he explains the process the council went
through when making their decision but I’m not listening. My focus is on the only thing that
matters in this room.

“Revisiting the true extent of the help he provided The Order…”

Granger is gripping tightly onto Freckles’ arm as she stares down Kingsley.

“And the sacrifice he was willing to make during the battle at Hogwarts..”

I’ve always loved the way her hair looks when it’s a messy ball on the top of her head, she
even has the wand poking through.

“Taking a closer look at the conditions of his stay at Azkaban that were provided by Mr.
Hillman..”
I never noticed the freckles that dance along her jawline, how have I never noticed those
before? They remind me of the stars I’d stare up at in the astronomy tower on nights where I
just needed a breather, to be away from everyone.

“And his success in executing the new high lord and remaining death eaters..”

I still can’t believe she’s actually here. I don’t think I’ll believe it until I touch her, until I feel
her skin pressed against mine.

“While we can’t excuse the part he played in the original regime we can reduce it by…”

Her lips are curved up into a smile but her eyes are full of so much sadness. I hate when she
does that, when she pretends like everything is okay, and I hate that her stupid friends are
buying the bull shit act. How can they not see that she’s upset? Wait. Why is she upset?

“We will grant him five minutes with a visitor before his departure.” Shacklebolt announces.
“Guards, please escort Mr. Malfoy to the holding room.”

This time the cage doesn’t descend into the floor but instead the bars around me raise and I’m
promptly yanked forward by the guards. Have they ever heard of consent? They could’ve at
least offered me a snack or something before being so rough.

7:40 pm

I’ve been sitting in this room for a few minutes now and no one has told me anything. Such
poor communication in this establishment. I think this room is more depressing than the cell I
was in a few days ago. The walls are such a pure shade of white and the lights make it even
more blinding.

There’s a few muffled voices out in the hall and then the sounds of keys being fumbled with.
I remove my feet from the table and sit straight up in my seat as the door begins to slowly
open. Once a single curl comes into view I immediately get up to my feet. She’s barely
stepped into the room when I wrap my arms around her and pull her into me.

“Granger.” My voice full of relief as my body relaxes. I can feel her, she’s real, she’s awake
and she’s in my arms and her wild curls are brushing against my chin. My hands move up to
her face and I lean back and just stare at her in disbelief. “How are you here?” I ask.

“Well my parents fell and love and one night they decided to-”

“Love.” I sigh. “As much as your use of sarcasm turns me on, I’d really prefer a genuine
response right now.”

She lets out a small giggle before saying “I woke up at St Mungos, well, more like shot up in
my bed. I was frantic and covered in sweat, I think I gave my healer a heart attack.”
“Why were you frantic?”

She removes my hands from her face, guides me over to the chairs and motions for me to sit.

“I heard you. I heard you talking to me. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell Gin.” She winks. “And I
saw it, the memory. I saw us at the Christmas market and us ice skating- also why were you
being such a prat that day about the bloody skates?” She questions which makes me chuckle.

“They were hideous.” I reply. “You already had me in that revolting jumper.”

“Anyways.” She says as she rolls her eyes. “After that more memories began flooding back,
it was overwhelming and too much if I’m being honest but then it all went black. There was
nothing for a moment and then suddenly, everything. Every conversation and look shared
between us, every angry and sad and happy emotion I’ve ever felt towards you.”

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

“So that means you remember…”

She nods her head as she looks down at her hands that are clutching onto mine. “I remember
what happened in the forbidden forest. I remember the excruciating pain I felt when I was
stabbed and what Voldemort had said to me.” Her eyes flick up to mine. “He told me that I
would be your downfall, the thing that finally broke you once and for all.”

I hope there’s another horcrux out there so that I can resurrect the bastard just to kill him
myself. What a fucking piece of sh-

“Draco.” Granger’s palm presses against my cheek causing both my mind and body to
instantly relax. “We don’t have much time left before they come and get you.” Oh, right. I’m
going back to Azkaban, I think? I really should’ve paid attention. “I’m sorry that I failed
you.”

“Failed me?” I ask. “How on earth did you fail me?”

“You still have to go back.”

“And?”

“And?! You shouldn’t have to Draco. Even if they did reduce your sentencing down to five
years it’s still not right.”

“Five? That’s it?”

“With the three you served counting towards it.”

“So two?”

“Yes, Draco.”
“Granger.” I say before kissing the back of her hand. “My beautiful Granger. You managed to
convince an entire room of witches and wizards who have sticks so far up their arse they can
taste it, to change my original fifty-five year sentence down to only five. Don’t you dare try
and say you failed me.”

“But the whole point was to keep you from going back entirely.” She argues. “You were
supposed to come home with me. We were supposed to start our life together."

The same sound of keys clinking together causes me to shoot up to my feet and Granger to do
the same.

“Marry me.”

“Wh-what?!” Her eyes widening.

“Marry me.” I repeat. “I don’t have a ring for you right now so this will have to do.” My hand
wraps around her forearm and I quickly mutter an enchantment. There’s a light orange glow
around our arms that disappears as quickly as it appeared.

Granger blinks a few times and shakes her head. “What did you just do?” She asks.

“I transferred my magic to you.”

“You did what?!”

The door swings open and the two guards from earlier are now standing in the doorway. I
gently grab Granger’s chin and turn her head so that she’s looking at me again.

“I love you, Hermione.”

“I love you too but Draco, you can’t just give me your magic.”

“I already did. Besides, it won’t be of any use to me where I’m going. Me giving you my
magic is my promise to always love you and to spend the rest of my life with you. It's no ring
but it's all I have to offer you right now."

“Time’s up Malfoy.” The black haired guard states.

“Yeah, yeah. Piss off for one more minute you overly large wanker.” I scoff.

“Draco.” Granger tugs on my arm. “Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, I will marry you.”

I think my heart just stopped.

“Are you sure?” I ask. “Actually, no. You don’t get to change your mind, you said yes and
that’s that. Holy shit. I mean, holy shit. You’re going to be my wife Hermione.
Fuck. I’m going to be your husband.” I think I'm word vomiting right now and I don’t know
how to stop it. “Do you want me to take your last name or do you want to take mine? We
could hyphenate, I’ve thought it over and they don’t sound bad together but it’s whatever you
prefer.”

She takes my face between her hands and she’s smiling and I’m melting and fucking hell.

“I love you, Draco.”

“I love you too. Gods Hermione, you have no idea how much I love you.”

The guard clears his throat and once again tells me that it’s time to go. Doesn’t this shit stain
know how to read a room? This unbelievable woman just agreed to marry me. Surely my hot
date with the cold and disturbingly wet cell at Azkaban can wait a few more minutes.

“I’m going to get you a ring.” I tell her. “I promise I’m going to get you one.”

“I don’t care about the ring.” She laughs. “But I know you will.”

“Seriously Malfoy.” The guard interjects. “We’ve given you far more time than you were
granted. It’s time to go.”

I’m about to say some less than kind words to him but Granger stops me. “It’s okay Draco.
Don’t give them any reason to fight back on your new sentencing.” She says.

“But how am I supposed to leave you now?” I ask as I brush the hair out of her face. “Two
years may be nothing compared to the decades I was originally given but it’s still an awfully
long time.”

Stepping up on her tippy toes, she presses her lips against mine before saying “You’ll come
back for me, just like you always do.” Damn fucking right I will. “Now go.”

Lowering my head so that my mouth is next to her ear I whisper “I could easily take those
two tarts out and we can make a break for it. Just say the word, love.”

She harshly slaps my arm. “Don’t you dare.”

“Fine.” I groan. “I’ll go willingly.”

The two guards step forward. The bigger one grabs a hold of my wrists, positions them
behind my back and cuffs them. There's absolutely no reason for him to make them as tight
as he did but whatever, nothing can ruin my mood right now.

Granger gives me one last kiss before I’m dragged out of the room.

Azkaban
“Honey, I’m home!” I chime as I step into the front room and come face to face with the
same guard I first met the last time I was here. “Winston, did you lose weight? You look
good.”

His brows twist together. “What the fuck is wrong with him?” He directs at the guard to the
right of me.

“Lover boy finally got the girl.” He replies.

“Ah, fallen in love have we?” Winston taunts as he approaches me.

“I have and it’s one hell of a thing. You should try it sometime.” Winston’s head cocks at my
unexpected pleasantness, I guess being friendly isn’t well perceived. “Granted, there’s most
likely not a single witch or wizard out there desperate enough to date you.” I add.

His shoulders relax as the corner of his mouth lifts up into a grin. “There you are.” He says.
“For a moment I thought we had a polyjuice case on our hands. Alright, you know the drill.”

“Of course.” I say with a tight smile. “Time for me to strip. Please try to not make it too
obvious that you’re devouring my naked body with your eyes Winston, I’m shy.”

1:30 am

There was something about this cell that seemed familiar the second I walked in but I
couldn’t quite figure out why, not until I laid down. Looking up at the ceiling, I recognize the
cracks I had once spent countless hours counting - this was the same one I was in before.

I wonder if…

Reaching underneath the mattress, I pull out the letter from Potter that I had stashed here
years ago. Quite disgusting to confirm my theories that they never clean this place but I’ll try
my best to not think about it too much. The parchment is a little damp and some of the ink is
smeared but other than that it’s still legible.

Malfoy,

I’ve written this letter several times but each time I’ve discarded it as I struggle to find the
proper way to go about telling you this. As I’m composing this one Ginny is breathing down
my neck and will surely force me to send this one out so if it’s shit just know, I had no choice
in the matter.

About a week or so after your trial something happened and firstly I wanted to let you know
that I had absolutely no idea. If I had I would’ve told you the moment I found out which I
guess that’s exactly what I’m doing now, or at least trying to. I don’t know how to go about
this. I’ve been having such a hard time figuring out how to tell you this, especially
considering your circumstance.
Ginny is yelling at me to just get to the point already.

Your mother came to us and told us that Hermione is alive. I didn’t believe it at first, I
thought she was lying. I feel like I need to apologize for screaming at your mother, I said
some rather rude things and it took me a long time to calm down but once I truly thought
about it I realized she had no reason to lie to us about such a thing.

Later that evening myself and Remus joined your mother at the manor, it was weird being
back there after what had happened the last time but then I saw her. Hermione was sitting on
the couch by the fire and sipping on some tea like nothing ever happened.

She’s alive Malfoy.

There is something else I think you should know and this is the part I’ve been struggling to
write down because everything is still so unknown to us and we haven’t made any progress
but Ginny is threatening to burn all of my brooms if I don’t send this letter out today so here it
goes.

Hermione is fine in all aspects except one. You. She has no recollection of you or any memory
that seemed to involve you, most of the months we spent hunting the horcruxes are a blurred
mess to her. We’ve tried asking if she knew why she was at the manor and what had happened
to her but she shuts down. Mr. Nuttall, a consultant who is assisting the healers at St Mungos,
said it’s most likely a trauma response. That the things that happened to her while there were
too painful so as a defense mechanism her mind just turns off and blocks it out.

I want you to know that we’re doing everything we can to restore her memories. I’m sorry
that you’re having to find all of this out through a letter but you deserved to know.

We’re going to take care of her Malfoy. Hermione is going to be alright, she’s going to
remember you. I promise.

-Harry

Still holding the letter, I walk over to the small window and look up at the night sky. I used to
spend a lot of nights in the astronomy tower doing this, wishing that I was born into another
family and dreaming of a life where I was happy.

Tonight, as I look up at the stars, I feel peace.

Peace in knowing that after all the years of pain, I finally found my happiness. That even
after countless fights, heartbreak and loss, I got my girl. I got my Granger.

“The course of true love never did run smooth.” I recite to myself as I lay back down.

Two more years and then it begins, our life together.

June 21 2003

“I still can’t believe you chose to go to America for your honeymoon.” I scoff as I hand the
photos back to him.

“Maria is fascinated by their culture, particularly their portion sizes with food.” Hillman
explains. “I swear I went up three pant sizes by the end.”

“And what about business, is it going well?”

He nods as he carefully places the photos in his bag. “We’ve just secured a meeting with
Hogwarts’ school board to discuss implementing a course on social prejudice.” He tells me.
“I know you threatened to break my leg the last time I did this but thank you. If it wasn’t for
your funding I never would’ve been able to start the non-profit and would most likely still be
waiting to get a hearing with the ministry. Thanks to you we’ve already been able to advocate
for twenty-three individuals who were wrongfully accused. You play a major part in this
whether you like it or not.”

“Just like I told you in the beginning, as a silent partner I’m here to provide and discuss
anything funding related. I don’t need your gratitude or any sort of recognition.”

“I still think it’s idiotic of you to want to keep your involvement a secret. This could be the
perfect way to change the wizarding community’s perception of you.”

“I’m not looking for any redemption Hillman.” I sigh. “I’ve done my part in playing the bad
guy and I’ve served my time. Now all I want is to move on and go see my girl. So do what
you came here for and get me the fuck out of here.”

1:30 pm

“Don’t take this the wrong way but I hope I never see you again.” Winston says as he hands
me my belongings.

“The feeling is extremely mutual.” I reply. “But remember what I said, if anyone tries to give
you and Jackson any shit just send word and I’ll gladly come out of retirement to kill the
fuckwits.”

“I thought we agreed you’d stay far away from anything illegal.”

“It’s only illegal if you get caught.” I shrug.

“Just get changed.” He groans as he rolls his eyes.

“Do you want to watch? I promise I won’t tell Jackson if you don’t.” I smirk.

“Piss off Malfoy.”

"Hey, I'm your ally not your enemy."

"You're a pain in the arse is what you are."

"A pain that you'll miss dearly."

"Please just hurry up and leave."

2:00 pm

About a year and a half ago Hillman brought a proposal to the ministry regarding the food
situation at Azkaban. Instead of some mystery slop that greatly resembled something a troll
threw up, we were given chicken (unseasoned of course, we’re still criminals after all),
potatoes and some mixture of veggies.

While the food may be somewhat appetizing, I’m glad I chose to opt out of the meal today.
Apparating for the first time in years is enough to make you nauseous even on an empty
stomach, I’d rather not hurl all over Granger when I first see her.

I’ve lucked out with the weather today. The sun is out for a change and the warmth on my
skin is everything I’ve dreamt of for the last two years. I never used to mind rainy days but
after constant thunderstorms, it’s nice to hear the birds chirping for once.

We’re now in Westminster and standing just outside of the entrance to the ministry of magic.
Hillman looks like he’s about to cry. Such a soft man.

“You’re acting like you’re never going to see me again.” I say. “Granger told me that you
RSVP’d to our holiday dinner two minutes after she sent out the damn invitation.”

“I know.” He sniffles. “I’m just happy for you is all.”

“Alright, enough with the tears. Do you want a hug or some shit? Will that make them stop?”

He nods and holds his arms out. I have a feeling this will only be the first of many hugs for
today. Rolling my eyes, I step forward and into his arms. I allow him one whole minute
before patting his back and pulling away.

“That was a good one.” He says.

“Please don’t get used to it.”

“Oi! Shit head!” A voice calls out from behind us.

Turning, I spot both Freckles and Potter approaching. “Well look at you, you’ve gotten rather
fat.” I say to her. As soon as she’s close enough, Freckles punches me in the arm.
“Take it easy Freckes, you don’t want to cause any distress to the mini scarhead that’s
floating around in your stomach.”

I still find it revolting that she’s pregnant because that means her and Potter had.. Nope. I
can’t say it.

“It’s good to see you.” She says as she pulls me in for a hug. Just as I thought, today is going
to consist of an awful lot of these. And per usual, Potter inserts himself into the hug as well.

“Look at us, all back together.” He cheerfully exclaims.

As happy as I am to see the two of them I can’t help but feel disappointed as I look around
and see no sign of Granger. I had imagined this moment playing out far differently. She was
meant to come running towards me and jump into my arms the second my feet touched the
ground but instead, I’m being suffocated by these two.

Crouching down, I slip out of their hold and ask “Where is she?”

“Oh, Hermione wanted to come and sends her best but she got tied up with some work.”
Freckles informs me.

Sends her best? Tied up with work? Well this is some bull shit.

“We’ll take you back to the house and she’ll meet us there later.” Potter tells me.

“House?” I question as I wave bye to Hillman and begin following them. “You two finally
upgraded from that dingy flat of yours?”

“Sure, something like that.” Potter smirks.

3:30 pm

We’ve been in this car for what feels like centuries and Potter’s driving skills haven’t
improved at all. In fact, I think they’ve gotten worse. Every few minutes I ask how much
longer until we get to wherever it is we’re going and each time Freckles yells at me to shut
the fuck up. She’s so moody.

Closing my eyes, I rest my head back on the seat and pray that when I wake next we will
have made it. In one piece would also be preferred but I’m not getting my hopes up, he’s
almost crashed four times already.

5:45 pm
I opened my eyes just in time to see a sign welcoming us to Sibton.

“What the fuck are we doing in Sibton?” I ask.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” Potter says as he glances back at me. “We’re only a few minutes
out.”

“Out from where? I know I would shit on your flat but this is where you chose to relocate?”

“You were far more tolerable when you were asleep.” Freckles says.

“And you were far more tolerable when you weren’t knocked up by scarhead.”

“We’re here.” Potter announces as he brings the car to a rather abrupt stop. “Now please, get
the fuck out.” He shoots back at me.

“Gladly.” I say through a tight smile. Pushing the rusted door open, I step out and take in the
surrounding area which in simple terms, is a whole lot of nothing. I think the two of them are
fucking with me and I’m just about to say that to them but Potter is already backing out and
driving off.

What a prat.

There’s a small stone pathway just ahead. Seeing as there’s no sign of life anywhere else, I
follow it. It’s not long until I spot a building peeking out from behind a collection of trees.
The closer I get, the more details I notice. The building is a cottage made of red bricks and
finished off with an arched doorway painted teal, peonies and lilies lining the front. Off to the
left is an assemblage of goldenrods blocked off by a white picket fence and there’s a steady
stream of smoke escaping the chimney.

This is it.

This is the home I envisioned for Granger and I.

As I step up to the door I notice the doormat which reads Granger-Malfoy.

My hand hovers over the doorknob as I close my eyes and draw in a deep breath in an
attempt to lower my heart rate but I’m positive a calming potion wouldn’t even be able to do
that right now. Grabbing onto the handle, I slowly turn it to the right and push open the door.

There’s a fireplace to the left, two couches facing opposite of each other in the center of the
room, photos of the two of us and of our friends lining the walls. Warmth is the best way I
can describe the way I feel when I step inside. Warmth, joy, peace and ho-

“Welcome home.” Granger smiles as she steps out from another room.

Granger.

My beautiful Granger.
Just as I had imagined, she comes running towards me and jumps into my arms. I bury my
face in her curls as I hold her tightly. Everything I’ve been through, every time my father cut
into me, that I underwent the cruciatus, the years of grief and time in Azkaban, it was all
worth it because it all led me here. It led me to Granger. It led me home.

As I set Granger down I feel something rub against my ankles. Looking down, I spot the
orange furball.

“Oh great, you’re still alive.” I say to it which earns a soft meow. Bending down, I pick up
the strange cat and instantly he starts purring as he rests his head on my chest. With my free
arm, I pull Granger into me and kiss her forehead.

“It’s good to be home, love.”

 Epilogue
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

July 12 2003

“Where do you keep running off to?” Granger questions as she sits up, stretches out her arms
and releases a yawn.

“That’s for me to know and for you to try your best to not worry about.” I say as I finish
buttoning my shirt. “I’ll be back before dinner, okay?”

“Okay.” She smiles.

Walking around to her side of the bed, I lean down and kiss her before heading out.

At first I pictured our first few weeks together after me getting out of prison to primarily
consist of the two of us sitting around the house doing absolutely nothing but a month into
my stay in Azkaban I knew what needed to be done and I had a lot of time on my hands to
plan it out perfectly.

A rushed proposal in some holding room at the ministry wasn’t how I envisioned asking
Granger to marry me. She deserved the flowers, the speech and a bloody ring would probably
be nice too. I know she’s told me that she doesn’t care, that her answer is still the same but I
care. This is the start of our life together, one where no one else is pulling the strings and it’s
just us.

A few days after my return she transferred my magic back to me. I honestly wouldn’t have
cared if she kept it forever but it is coming in handy right now seeing as I’ve been apparating
quite a lot. As fun as muggle cars can be, I much prefer the quick two second commute.

Australia

“You’re late.” Glenice says as I approach.

“By five minutes.” I argue. “Don’t tell me you have somewhere better to be? I know you
miss our little sessions together.”

“Will there ever be a day where you aren’t a swotty little shit?”

“Highly unlikely.” Grabbing the door, I hold it open and gesture for him to enter. “After you.”
The bookstore looks the exact same as it did the first time I stepped foot in here six years ago.
“Sales have been good and it’s become a rather popular spot for the teens.” Mr. Granger
informed me the last time I was here.

Glenice and I have been coming here every day for the last week and a half. It’s exhausting
apparating all the way to Australia but it’s worth it if it means we can get her parents back.
During my time in Azkaban I started composing several different techniques to test out when
it came to reversing the effects of an obliviation. I also sent a post out to Glenice telling him
that I had recruited him to help me whether he liked it or not, he had no opposition but it
wouldn’t have mattered if he did.

The first thing we tried was what worked for Granger. I casted a memory of mine into her
father’s head, it was from when we first met and were talking in the kitchen. I didn’t expect it
to work like it did on Granger because the two cases are far different but it was worth a shot.
Today we’re testing out one of Glenice’s ideas. Photos. It seemed like really fucking dumb
when he brought it up. I mean, if an actual memory wouldn’t do it then why would some
photos do anything? He told me to shut up.

“Ah, Draco.” Mrs. Granger smiles from behind the desk. “We thought you weren’t coming
today.”

“And why would you think that?” I ask.

“You’re late.” She replies. Instantly Glenice opens his mouth to say something but I hold my
hand up to stop him.

“I’ve brought you something today.” I tell her as I approach the counter. Mr. Granger steps
out from the back room and greets us as he joins his wife’s side. Reaching into my jacket, I
retrieve the stack of photos and place them down in front of the two of them.

“What are these?” Mrs. Granger asks as she picks one of them up.

“You remember the girl I told you about? My fiancé?”

“Yes of course, she sounds lovely.” She smiles.

“That she is.” I nod as I offer her a smile back. “I thought you might like to see some photos
of her.”

It was an absolute pain collecting these. The ones of the two of us weren’t too hard to get but
I underwent several questions from her when I requested some from when she was a child.
Sometimes I wish the witch would just go with the flow but I know there will never be a day
where that’s a thing.

“Oh wow, she’s absolutely stunning.” Mrs. Granger gushes as she shows her husband.

“She gets it from her mother.” I say to the woman who is completely unaware that I’m
referring to her. “Except for her smile, that she gets from her father.”
“And will they be there? When you propose to her again?” Mr. Granger questions. “I know
you mentioned wanting to have them there this time.”

“I’m still working on the logistics of it all but I’m hopeful.” I tell him.

The afternoon is spent with them looking through the photos and me giving them backstories
on the ones of her and I. Every once in a while one of them made a comment about how the
scenery looked familiar and Glenice would take note of it.

As much as I want to throw it in Glenice’s face that his plan didn’t work, I don’t. Every time
we visit them I pray that this will be the time where something finally sticks, that something
will trigger their memories and they’ll remember their amazing daughter but so far that hasn’t
happened.

We say our goodbyes and let them know that we’ll be back at the same time tomorrow and
exit the store. Once we’re a few blocks away Glenice begins discussing the results from
today but I don’t want to hear it. It’s the same as every other day, no real significant
improvements.

“Be honest with me Glenice.” I say, cutting him off mid sentence. “How likely is it that we’ll
be able to reverse the obliviation?”

“It’s a complicated task. There are less than a handful of studies on the matter and-”

“Just give me the number, I know you have one.”

“Forty percent.” He says.

“I guess that’s higher odds than you gave Granger and she got hers back.” I massage my
temple as I take a deep breath. “Alright, let’s keep trying.”

July 13 2003

“I remember this book!” Her father exclaims.

“You do?” Glenice and I both ask.

“Yes, it was my favorite as a child. My parents would read it to me every night.” He explains
causing both Glenice and I to relax back into our seats. “I had always said if we were lucky
enough to become parents ourselves I would read it to our child.” You did Mr. Granger, you
read that bloody book to Hermione every night. “Unfortunately, we never were able to
experience such a wonderful thing.” He says as his face drops and hands the book back to
me.
July 22 2003

Another day and another failure. Granger kept letters that her parents had sent her while she
was at school and today we brought them. All we got was a statement from her mother saying
that the handwriting was very nice and her father laughing at a joke that he had written -
though he wasn’t aware that it was him.

This is the most frustrating thing I’ve ever experienced. How can they not remember her?
How can they continue to forget that they gave life to the most extraordinary person I’ve ever
met in my life? I get it. They’re obliviated but for fucks sake, Granger isn’t an easily
forgetable person. Maybe if they just saw her, talked to her. Maybe that's what it would take
to trigger something in their heads.

I keep advocating for that but every damn time Glenice shuts me down and I think he’s a
complete fuckwit for it.

August 4 2003

Usually I try to keep my disappointment and annoyance bottled up until we’re far enough
away from them but today I couldn’t contain it. Storming out of the bookstore, I slam the
door shut and begin pacing along the sidewalk. Not long after, Glenice joins me outside and I
can see that he wants to scold me for losing my temper in front of them but I’m not in the
fucking mood.

“Don’t.” I warn him. “Don’t fucking tell me to calm down or that I shouldn’t have done that.
I’m fed up with this shit Glenice. Nothing we’re doing is working, they haven’t made any
improvements in days!”

“I told you that this process would be complicated and that it was very likely we would reach
a plateau at one point.” He calmly tells me.

“I’m going to tell them.”

“You will do no such thing.”

“And who’s going to stop me? You?” I scoff. “They need to know about her. They deserve to
know. I can’t sit back anymore and listen to her father tell me how much he wishes he was a
father because he is! He’s the father to the most wonderful fucking woman and he deserves to
fucking know Glenice!”

“I understand your frustration-”

“No you don’t! You don’t see the way Hermione looks when she talks about her parents. She
had this whole vision for her wedding day and it includes having her parents there. She’s
supposed to go dress shopping with her mother and her father is supposed to walk her down
the aisle. She misses them Glenice, she misses them so fucking much. She’s been through
enough, she deserves to get her parents back.”

“So what’s your plan then Draco?” He asks. “ Walk in there and tell them that they have a
daughter who also happens to be a witch but because of some psychotic man, their daughter
had to wipe her from their memories entirely?”

“I hadn’t thought that far ahead but yeah, that should work.”

“You aren’t thinking this through.”

“I’m tired of thinking! I’m tired of sitting back and waiting and hoping that by some miracle
it will finally click for them.”

“You need to have patience.”

“I’ve never been in possession of the sort.”

“That you haven’t, except when it came to her, to Hermione. This is about Hermione after all,
is it not?”

“You already know the answer to that.”

Glenice closes the gap between us and places his hand on my shoulder. “Then relocate that
patience. Give it some more time, we’ll figure it out.”

“One month Glenice, that’s all I can promise. I’ll give it one more month.”

August 11 2003

“You look like shit mate.” Theo says as I walk up.

“You always knew how to make me feel good about myself.” I sarcastically reply. “How’s
Pans? Is she still being a dreadful bridezilla?”

“Listen, I love the woman but she’s driving me absolutely mental.” He says. “Who cares if
there’s six or seven flowers on each table? I don’t think the guests will give a shit either
way.”

“Oh, I will. There better be seven flowers on my table or I will burn the entire place down.”

“Shut up.” He groans as he punches my arm. “How are things going with Granger’s parents?
Any new developments?”

“Please don’t bring that up right now.”

“That bad?” He questions. “I thought things were going well, I mean that’s why we’re at
Gringotts isn't it?”

“No. We’re at Gringotts because I need to get my mother’s things in order."

My mother passed a few months into my stay at Azkaban. Granger and Pansy were with her
leading up until then, the money I would’ve paid to see those two in the same room. It was
hard reading the letter informing me that my mother was gone but I knew she was ready.

I haven’t been to the manor since my release and I’d like to avoid doing so for as long as
possible. Theo and Blaise have thankfully gone a few times just to make sure nothing was
stolen and to release the house elves. Mippy pops into the cottage once a week to bring us
food, I think she feels a bit lost now that she doesn’t have anyone to serve. Granger doesn’t
mind the company and I don’t mind the food. I love Granger but she’s an awful cook.

I was granted an extension on taking care of my mother’s things since I was a bit tied up
when she passed but now my time is running out. The manor was transferred into my name
but her vault was only ever in hers. Today is my last day to gather her belongings before they
empty it out. I don’t even know what’s in there besides one item.

As soon as we enter the bank the goblins stop what they’re doing and stare me down as we
approach the main desk. Apparently a former death eater isn’t offered a warm welcome here,
strange.

“Mr. Malfoy.” The head goblin states. “We were beginning to think we’d never see you.”

“Yes, I’m sure you would’ve loved that but here I am.”

“What can I do for you?”

“You know why I’m here, I need to clear out my mother’s vault. I’m also running on a pretty
tight schedule so if you could speed up this process that would be greatly appreciated.”

“Very well. Gornuk!” He shouts, the goblin appearing seconds later. “Take Mr. Malfoy and
Mr. Nott down to vault 981.” He instructs before turning his attention back to me. “Enjoy
your day, Mr. Malfoy.” He sneers.

“You as well, try not to exhaust yourself. Pretending to scribble things down for hours on end
can really take it out of you.” I quip before following the other goblin over to the lift.

-*-

“Vault 981, sir.” Gornuk informs me as he hands Theo the lantern.

I thank the goblin which he finds rather odd, I forgot people aren't used to me being "nice".
Stepping inside, I see a room that resembles a closet more than a vault. There’s dresses and
robes filling nearly every inch of the area and I can’t help but laugh. Of course my mother
safely stowed her clothes here.
Very often I’d overhear my father and her having a discussion in regards to her spending
problem. She had once told him that she would part with an item each time she bought a new
one. Apparently, departing with an item really meant placing it in a secure vault at Gringotts.

Theo is looking over at me, waiting for me to break and for the reality of my mother being
gone to hit me but it doesn’t. I accepted that she was a long time ago. Being in a room full of
her things is strange but not painful. In a way I feel closer to her right now than I have in a
long time.

“What are you keeping?” Theo asks as he sifts through the racks of clothing.

“My mother said she wanted her belongings to be donated. I don’t know what a bunch of
poor people are going to do with these designer dresses but I’m certain Granger won’t be
sporting any of them and as nice as they are, they aren’t my style.”

“So we’re just here for the ring?”

“Yes.”

“Very well, let’s find the damn thing then.”

-*-

We’ve been searching this damn vault for close to an hour now. Leave it to my mother to tell
me where something is but offer no specifics, the woman knew how big of a disastrous mess
it was in here. All I’ve found so far are old love letters she received from my father during
their time at Hogwarts, the second I saw the word ‘breasts’ I gagged and avoided any other
pieces of parchment.

“Hey mate, I think I found it.” Theo says.

Immediately, I drop the box in my hand and rush over to where he is. He hands me the small
velvet box and I carefully open it. I never paid much attention to my grandmother’s jewelry,
she always had several pieces on her but this one always stood out to me. It was the least
flashy piece she ever wore and the only one that wasn’t entirely lined in diamonds.

It’s simple but still extravagant, just like her. The golden band is bare and the only stone is in
the center, a single emerald that covered nearly half of my grandmother’s finger and will
surely do the same to Granger.

“Do you think she’ll like it?” I ask Theo.

“I think that witch would love a pebble you found on the sidewalk.”

“Theo I’m serious, it has to be perfect.”

“Yes mate, I’m certain she’ll love it.”

August 17 2003

“I thought you already proposed?” Potter questions as he joins Freckles and I at the table.

“Yeah, in a sterile room at the ministry, doesn’t really scream romantic.” I reply as I roll my
eyes at his stupidity.

“So when are you planning to do it?” Freckles asks.

“On her birthday and I want you both to be there. I’m also planning on asking Lupin, Theo,
Pansy, Blaise and her parents to attend as well.” The last part I mutter under my breath in
hopes they don't catch it or ask any questions but it seems I've failed.

“Her parents?!” Both Potter and Freckles say in unison.

“Yes.”

“You mean like her actual parents?” Potter asks.

“Unless she has some fake ones I don’t know about, yes Potter, her actual parents.”

Gods this man is a moron.

“I thought she obliviated her parents.” Freckles says.

“She did but Glenice and I have been working with them for a few weeks now on reversing
the effects.” I explain.

“So that’s where you’ve been going.” She says. “Hermione thought you were going to the
gentlemen’s club this whole time.”

“The gentlemen’s club? What? Why the fuck would I be going there?”

She shrugs and says “To blow off some steam, I don’t know. But this is far more fascinating.
What progress have you made? How much have they gotten back?”

Great, my least favorite question. My jaw clenches as I run my hand through my hair, unsure
of how to even answer that. I mean we’ve made some progress but nothing worth mentioning
in all honesty. There seems to be some small signs that pieces are coming back but nothing
significant.

Sure, Mr. Granger remembered going to the national park seven years ago but he still doesn’t
remember the fact that his daughter was in attendance. And yeah, Mrs. Granger remembered
planting sunflowers one summer but she doesn’t remember that Hermione tripped over the
hose and cut open her knee.

I told Glenice that I would give it a month and I will but we’re closing in on the end of that
period and regardless of any progress made, I’m telling them. They’ll be attending alongside
the rest of our friends and they will be at the wedding, even if the only person they recognize
is me.

“It doesn’t matter.” I say to the both of them. “All that does is that they’ll be there. Now, if
you don’t mind, I have to get going.”

August 28 2003

“It’s a beautiful ring Draco, Hermione is a very lucky lady.” Her mother smiles at me.

“Thank you Mrs. Gra-Wilkins.”

“Quite the piece.” Her father adds. “Based on the photos you showed us she’s a rather petite
young lady, she’ll have to drag her hand along the sidewalk when she wears that thing.” He
chuckles.

Today we didn’t do any interventions. Glenice said it was to give them a break but I know he
really did it for me. He could see how close I was to snapping and that if I had to leave this
bloody bookstore one more time with no new updates, I would probably do something that
would earn me a one way ticket back to Azkaban and he’s right.

I knew that I wanted to do this for Granger but I didn’t think about the toll it would take on
me. I thought it would be similar to what I went through with her memory loss but it’s not
because this isn’t for me, it’s for her.

As much as I enjoyed my short visit with them that one day, I never had any real emotional
investment in either of them so whether or not they were in our life it never personally
affected me. But seeing the sadness in her eyes and hearing the pain in her voice when she
speaks about them kills me.

I don’t think any of her friends have taken the time to truly understand how much Granger
has lost. Yeah, Freckles lost her brother and Potter lost his lover Dumbledore but neither of
them have had to go through what she has.

Potter’s parents died before he was able to make any real memories or get to know them and
my parents are dead but honestly, it’s for the best. My father was a dick and my mother was
suffering but Granger, her parents are neither of those things. They’re wonderful people and
of course they are because shitty people would’ve never been able to produce someone like
her and the worst of it all is that they’re alive.

They’re alive and healthy and she doesn’t get to have them in her life.

I’ve been through and witnessed a lot of fucked up things in my life but that day when I had
to watch her obliviate her parents tops the list.
How come I get to spend these afternoons with them while she sits at home? How come I get
to hear her father’s terrible jokes and listen as her mother laughs but Granger doesn’t? No.
That’s not right and I don’t care what Glenice has to say or how many valid points he makes,
I’m telling them.

September 3 2003

“You seem stressed.” Granger says as she wraps her arms around my torso and rests her face
on my back. “Maybe whatever it is you’re working on can come to a pause for a little?”

“I’m fine.” I say as I turn around and tuck her hair behind her ear.

“You don’t seem fine and you’re never home. I feel like I barely see you anymore.”

“I’m sorry, love. How about tomorrow night I cook dinner for you? I promise to not just
come home and go to bed like I have been.”

“You know how to cook?”

“Yes? Why do you find that so hard to believe?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I just figured growing up with house elves who prepared all of
your meals would leave you pretty useless in the kitchen.”

“Miss Granger, your lack of confidence in my culinary abilities is insulting and quite
hurtful.” I say as I place my hand on my chest in mock offense.

“Well it’s not like you’ve given me any reason to think otherwise.”

“Then it’s settled. Tomorrow night I will be cooking you the most exquisite meal you have
ever had in your entire life.”

“Is that so, Mr. Malfoy?” She smirks.

“It is and maybe I’ll even be so kind as to provide dessert.”

“I like chocolate and cake, both combined would be nice.”

“Beggars can’t be choosers my love. You’ll get what I give you.”

September 4 2003
Per usual, Glenice is waiting for me at the café just a few blocks down from the bookstore
but instead of sitting back and relaxing while he sips on a cup of tea, he’s standing and
impatiently tapping his foot as I walk up to him.

“Bit eager today, are we?” I ask even though I know that’s not the case. In fact, I’d say he’s
rather dreading today because it’s been exactly one month which means it’s time, I’m telling
her parents.

“I know I’ve already voiced this countless times but this is a bad idea Draco. Do you really
expect this to go over well?”

“No, I don’t actually but once it’s over with then that’s it. No more keeping secrets from
Granger or her parents. They’re going to be shocked and confused which is understandable
but at least then they’d know. We can explain things to them and they can meet her and it’ll
be fine so stop with the foot tapping and let’s go.”

Glenice continues to go off about the possible terrible outcomes as we make our way down
the sidewalk but the second we step into the bookstore he goes silent. Now it’s my turn to
speak.

“Draco!” Mrs. Granger smiles. “I must say I’ve grown rather fond of our daily meetings. I’ve
just sent Wendell back to fetch the tea, do you want to-”

“Your real name isn’t Monica Wilkins and your husband’s name isn’t Wendell. Your last
name is Granger and your daughter is Hermione, Hermione Granger.” I blurt out. Mr.
Granger steps out and as soon as he takes notice of his wife’s expression he turns to me and
asks what’s going on. “Sir, I want to apologize for misleading you both this entire time.”

“Mislead? What on earth are you talking about Draco?”

“Please, if you’ll both just have a seat I’ll explain everything.”

It takes a moment but eventually he manages to guide his wife over to the chairs. Once we’re
all sat, he asks me to continue and so I do. I tell them everything and I mean everything.

“You two weren’t childhood friends with my parents and this isn’t my uncle.” I say
motioning over to Glenice. “I didn’t come here to reconcile as old family friends that you had
forgotten about, I came here because the woman that I’m marrying is your daughter.”

“D-daughter?” Mr. Granger asks, his eyebrows pulling together. “Draco, we don’t have a
daughter.”

“Yes, you do. Her name is Hermione and she’s extraordinary. Gods is she extraordinary.
She’s loving, kind, strong, extremely stubborn and most of all, she misses you both.” They’re
staring at me, unsure of what to say and like I’m some crazy person which to them, I’m sure I
am. “Six years ago Hermione and I visited you at your house in Hampstead. We spent the day
reminiscing over embarrassing moments from her childhood and then while you two were
sifting through an old photo album, she wiped your memories.”
“Hold on.” Mr. Granger says as he shakes his head. “Wiped our memories? How would one
even do that?”

“With magic.”

“Magic?”

“Yes, magic.”

“Magic isn’t real.”

I figured this would happen. Raising my hand, I snap my fingers and the teakettle lifts into
the air. Mr. Granger’s eyes widen while his wife remains the same amount of stunned as
before.

“Just because you haven’t witnessed something doesn’t mean it isn’t real.” I tell him. “Magic
has been around for centuries and we’ve walked among you for just as long. I’m sure you’ve
even spoken to others like me, you just weren’t aware of it.”

He looks over at Glenice, then back at me and then back at Glenice, waiting for one of us to
tell him that we’re joking but once he realizes we won’t be doing such, he slumps back into
his seat and runs his hand through his hair.

“So Hermione, she’s.. she’s a..”

“A witch.” I finish for him. “Yes. The brightest one of her age might I add.”

“And she used magic to remove our memories of her?” He asks.

I nod.

“But why? Why would she do that?”

“Because just like your people, there’s bad ones amongst us. There was one who went by the
name Voldemort, he formed an army of sorts and made it his mission to extricate the world of
those he deemed unworthy. During his attempt to do so you and your wife became a target. I
was the one to set you up here in Australia and to provide you with your new names and
house. I had offered to also be the one to wipe your memories but Hermione, your daughter,
knew that she needed to be the one to do it. It killed her to do so but she knew it was the only
way to ensure your safety.”

Her father continues to ask questions but it takes close to an hour for her mother to finally
speak.

“I have a daughter?” Her voice full of disbelief.

“You do.”

“And she’s the girl in the photos you showed us?”

“Yes.”

“We have a daughter.” She says as she turns towards her husband and clutches onto his
hands.

“We have a daughter.” He repeats, both of their eyes filling with tears.

“C-can we meet her?” Mrs. Granger sniffles as she looks back over at me.

“Of course you can.” Reaching into my coat pocket, I pull out two plane tickets and hand it to
her. “I’ve arranged for a car to pick you up from the airport and bring you to the house.”

Both of her parents reach across the table and grab onto my hand.

“Thank you.” Her mother says.

“Thank you for taking care of our girl.” Her father adds.

“I told you I would, sir.”

6:00 pm

The second I got home I headed straight for the kitchen. Granger was quick to notice my
major shift in energy but decided to not question it which I’m thankful for because if she had
I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from telling her.

It’s a strange feeling the amount of happiness I’m experiencing right now but I’m reveling in
it. For once, everything is falling into place and nothing will be getting in the way of that.

“Do I get to know what’s on the menu for tonight?” She asks as she enters the kitchen.

Spinning on my heels, I block her view of the stove top and point towards the living room.
“Out Granger.” I command.

“Just let me have a peek!” She whines.

“Absolutely not.”

“Don’t be a prat.” She says as she walks towards me. “Let me see!”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“But what if I–”

“No.”

“You didn’t even let me finish my sentence!”

“Because the answer is going to be no regardless of what you have to say.”

She lets out a childish but adorable huff and places her hands on her hips as she furrows her
brows at me.

“Careful love, don’t want any premature wrinkles.” I tease. “Now respectfully, get the fuck
out of my kitchen.”

“No.”

“No?”

“You heard me, no. I think I’d rather stay.”

What a stubborn little witch.

“Alright, you left me no choice.” Without a warning, I pick her up and sling her over my
shoulder. She starts kicking her feet as she commands me to put her down while she laughs.
“No can do love, you brought this upon yourself.” Throwing her down on the couch I swipe
the book off the side table and hand it to her. “Now, stay put and read your book. I’ll let you
know when dinner is ready.”

6:30 pm

“Okay!” I shout and in seconds Granger comes rushing in from the living room. Excitedly,
she takes her seat and claps her hands together as I place the plate down in front of her.

“You really went all out, huh?” She asks. “Silver dome thing and everything.”

“It’s called a cloche.” I inform her. “Respect the cloche.”

“Sorry, the cloche is very much respected.”

“Good. Now, prepare yourself for the most mouthwatering meal you’ve ever laid your eyes
on.” Lifting the cloche, Granger’s smile quickly drops and is replaced by a confused
expression.

“Draco..”

“Yes, love?”

“Is this a grilled cheese?”

“No, it’s gruyere, muenster and white cheddar cheese delicately melted between two slices of
artisan bread.” I correct.

“So.. grilled cheese?”

“No.”

“Draco, it’s grilled cheese.”

“Fine it’s fucking grilled cheese Granger.” I concede as I fall back into the chair beside her.

“And it looks delicious.” She adds before leaning over and kissing my cheek.

“It better, I worked really hard on it.”

“I know you did, thank you.”

September 18 2003

“So her parents arrive tomorrow?” Lupin asks as he hands me a glass of firewhiskey.

“Yes, I set up a muggle car service for them. I figured apparation would be a bit too extreme
this early on.”

“That was probably a wise choice.” He says as he takes a seat. “Do you have everything in
order? I trust Theo has managed to secure the flowers?”

“That he did.” I nod as I take a sip of my drink. “Mippy is working on the cake, Blaise is in
charge of delivering the books and Pansy will set up the library.”

“And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well I assume you have a speech prepared and a ring this time.”

“If you want to see it you need only ask Lupin.”

“Fine, I want to see it.”

“Thought so.” I smirk before handing him the small box.

“Wow.” He blinks a few times as he stares down at the ring. I swear if he cries I will leave
immediately. “It’s beautiful Draco.”

“It was my grandmother’s.” I tell him. “You don’t think it’s too much, do you? I thought
about transfiguring it into something a little less… intense.”
“No, I think it’s perfect.” He smiles.

“Okay, good.”

Lupin hands the box back to me and turns his head to hide the fact that he’s wiping a tear
from his eye, I’ll just pretend I didn’t see.

“I wanted to thank you." I say.

“What for?”

“For believing in me. For not giving up on me even when you should have and advocating
for me. I’ll only say this once so cherish it, you mean a lot to me and I’m grateful to have you
in my life.”

He leans forward, places his hand on my shoulder and lightly squeezes. “You were never
someone worth giving up on.”

Well fuck Lupin, now I might cry.

“Look, I don’t do this often but.” Standing up, I hold my arms out.

“Is this what I think it is?” He questions as he also stands.

“If you think it’s me offering a hug, yes, but you need to hurry before I change my mind.”

Lupin wastes no time and immediately wraps his arms around me.

“I’m extremely proud of how far you’ve come, son.” He says.

September 19 2003

Freckles has dragged Granger away from the house so that we can set everything up and I
hate to say it but I think I’m resembling bridezilla Pansy right now. The imbeciles were
setting up the tent in the front of the house when I clearly stated for it to go in the garden. I
mean honestly, how stupid. Why the fuck would I want it in the front?

At least Theo managed to get all of the flowers here in perfect condition and Blaise just left
to get the remaining books from the manor. Pansy is diligently working on setting up the
library and I didn’t even need to tell her to organize them alphabetically by the author’s last
name, she just knew. I never thought I’d say this but thank Merlin for Pans.

Potter’s job at the moment is to simply stay the fuck out of the way which he’s doing
flawlessly and as for myself, I’m just trying my best to not lose my head.

“Mr. Malfoy!” Mippy chimes.

“Mippy, when did you get here?”

“Just now sir. Mippy brings the cake!”

“Perfect, you can bring it out to the back and join the others.”

“The others?” Mippy questions.

“Yes, Lupin and Potter are both back there.”

“Mr. Malfoy wants Mippy to stay?”

“Obviously, you were invited.”

“Mippy didn’t realize that Mr. Malfoy viewed Mippy as guest.”

“Well now you do. So please, go mingle.”

“Yes Mr. Malfoy, right away Mr. Malfoy.”

“It wasn’t an order Mippy, just enjoy yourself. You’re a free elf after all.”

12:30 pm

“Malfoy! They’re here!” Potter shouts from outside.

Rushing out, I greet Granger’s parents just as they’re getting their belongings out from the
trunk of the car.

“Mr and Mrs Granger, I’m glad you both made it safely. I trust the flight wasn’t too
strenuous?”

“Not at all. Though I must admit, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to travel any other way now.
First class is a whole different experience.” Her mother tells me.

I let out a small chuckle. “I’m glad you were comfortable. I can take those for you.”
Grabbing their bags, I guide them inside and up to the spare room. Granger and I fully intend
to make it out kid’s room one day but we’re in no rush to have any offspring so for now it’s
serving as a guest room.

“Your house is very charming.” Mrs. Granger tells me.

“Not a bad paint job either.” Mr. Granger adds as he inspects the walls. “I don’t see a single
streak.”

“The beauty of magic, Mr. Granger.” I joke. “Please feel free to relax and take a shower if
you’d like. The bathroom is just down the hall and is first door on the left. If you need
anything I’ll most likely be in the library which is the second door on the right.”

“Draco.” Granger’s mother grabs my arm just as I’m about to walk out. “Is she here?”

I shake my head. “Not yet but she will be soon.”

2:15 pm

“Quit your whining Blaise and help me move this table.” I instruct.

“But I’m so tired.” He groans. “It took me four trips to get all of these damn books here. Do
you know how exhausting apparating back and forth is?”

“I do, now shut up and help.”

“Fine.”

Granger will be here in fifteen minutes. 2:30 is the time Freckles and I agreed on and while
everything looks like it’s in place, I can’t help but feel like something is missing. What is it
though?

“Looking for this?” Pans asks as she holds up the ring box and hands it to me.

“Yes, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Hey Pans.”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you, for being competent and helping set this up – for being my friend –and taking
care of my mother – and just – thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She smiles. “Now wipe the sweat from your forehead and go over that
speech of yours. Granger will be here any minute now.”

I’m not swea–oh, I guess I am sweating. I don’t know why though, I’ve already asked her to
marry me once and I know what her answer will be. I think it’s because of her parents. I
stayed up all night wondering if I made the right call. I mean, I know she wants to see them
again but will it be too painful for her seeing as they still don’t have any recollection of who
she is?

Gods, did I fuck up? Should I send them away? I think I should send them away, they can
come back another time. I’m sure they’ll understand. Yes. That’s what I should do.
Just as I’m about to head out to the back garden I hear the front door open and Freckles send
the signal we discussed for their arrival.

“I WOULD REALLY LOVE SOME TEA!” She screams.

Very subtle, dipshit.

I guess there’s no going back now, her parents are here and all I can do is pray that she
doesn’t hex me for bringing them. Perhaps the cake will make up for it. Here goes nothing I
guess.

Taking one last look at the library, I step out into the living room and there she is. My
beautiful Granger looking stunning as always and completely unaware of what’s happening.
She had her suspicions that we were putting something together for her birthday but not even
her clever mind would have been able to figure out the extent of it.

“Happy birthday, love.”

“Oh, you’re home.” She smiles as she sets down her bags and walks up to me. “I thought you
would be out like usual.”

I shake my head. “Not today. Come with me, I have something I want to show you.” Taking
her hand in mine, I guide her to the library. As we step inside I step back and watch as her
eyes scan the hundreds of books that line the shelves.

“Are these?”

“Your books, along with a few new additions. Blaise helped me transfer them here from the
manor.”

As she goes to take a closer look at them, I shove my hand into my pocket and grip onto the
velvet box. Fuck my heart is racing. I think I’m sweating again and I definitely feel nauseous.
Get it together, you got this. You can do this, it will be fine. She’s going to love it, it’s going
to be perfect.

“Love.”

“Hmm?” As Granger turns to face me she nearly drops the book from her hand as her eyes
dart down to the box that my trembling hand is clutching tightly onto. “Draco.” She gasps.
“Is that-are you-”

“Hold on, give me a second.” I request. “Even after eight years you still manage to turn me
into a nervous idiot.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath before stepping into her and
grabbing her hand. “You said you heard me, that day at St Mungos when I was talking to
you.”

“Yes.” She says, tears already starting to pool in her eyes.

“I told you that one day I wanted to tell you about when I first fell in love with you, I’d like
for that day to be today.”
“Okay.” She sniffles.

“It was during fourth year. Krum had just pulled you from the Black Lake and you were
wrapped so tightly in those blankets to keep you warm.”

“You first fell in love with me when I was drenched and freezing?”

“Yes but like I said, it’ll make sense when I explain it to you.” I tell her. “Krum was trying to
warm you up which in reality was just an excuse for him to touch you. I watched as you
proceeded to slap him straight across the face.” A soft chuckle escapes the back of my throat
as I reminisce on the memory. “You were shouting at him about something and then
proceeded to run back over to the dock and anxiously wait for Potter to surface. I’ll admit, I
was highly attracted to how aggressive you were in that moment but that wasn’t what caused
me to fall in love with you. It was when you were just sitting there, staring at the water. It
was the first time I saw you, like really saw you. Your nose wasn’t buried in a book and you
weren’t interrupting the class every two minutes to correct the professor.”

“Hey!” She giggles as she slaps my arm. “It’s not my fault the professors failed to properly
know their own materials.”

Merlin, I love her.

“Anyways, like I said, you were just sitting there and you were beautiful. You were chewing
away at your bottom lip and your leg was bouncing and I knew that you were stressed and
anxious and I was taken back by the fact that I knew that. I spent those four previous years
taking note of all of your quirks as a way to help me surpass you in class but it was that
moment where I knew me watching you wasn’t for academic reasons anymore. I wanted so
badly to go over and comfort you and that terrified me.”

“I probably would’ve slapped you as well if you had.”

“I know you would’ve.” I laugh. “From that point on all I could think about was you, I
thought it was just a sexual attraction but then it happened again. The night of the dinner with
McGonagall to discuss the research paper, you were making an absolute fool of yourself
trying to figure out the proper spoon to use.”

“I still don’t know which one I’m supposed to use.” She admits.

“Which is why I love you. You didn’t spend your childhood going to etiquette classes or
taking ballroom dance lessons like all of my friends. You weren’t raised to one day become
the perfect housewife and host. You valued your studies not because you wanted to be the
smartest in every room but because you were creating a life for yourself, you knew what you
wanted and nothing was going to stop you. That was the second time I fell in love with you
but again, I refused to acknowledge the fact.”

Walking her over to the right side of the room, I pick out the copy of Jane Austen. “This was
the only other book besides your worn down copy of Hogwarts A History that I ever saw you
carry religiously. I had never seen it before so of course I immediately went and got a copy of
it. I must admit, I made a few snide remarks when I discovered that it was a muggle book.” I
smirk to which she rolls her eyes. “I spent that entire night reading it from start to finish and
all I could think about was the possibility of you and I. I’m sure I don’t need to give you a
book report on why but in short, I knew there would be several obstacles we would have to
overcome if we ever wanted to be together but the fact that you clearly loved this story so
much gave me hope. Hope that you could maybe see me as more than just the house I was
sorted into, the last name I was in possession of and my rather shit reputation.”

Placing the book back in its correct spot on the shelf, I also take the one from her hand and
place it down on the small table to our right.

“I never cared what anyone thought of me, except for you. I so badly wanted to be seen by
you and not as the pompous bully I was for so many years but I knew that was a big ask. I
couldn’t just walk up to you one day and ask you out, so I did what any teenage boy would
do, I did everything I could to annoy you because when you would chew my ear off at least
for those few minutes, I had your attention and I was on your mind.”

I’m definitely sweating right now but I don’t care. I’ve been wanting to tell her all of this for
so long and now I’m finally getting to. She’s crying and I knew she would but Merlin, it’s
making it extremely difficult for me to keep my composure and not cry as well.

“I have fallen in love with you more times than I can count, Granger.” I continue. “Many of
the moments are rather ridiculous, like the time you practically told Trelawney that she was
full of shit. The point is, you have always had my heart whether I liked it or not. For so long I
loved you from the sidelines just patiently waiting for an opportunity and then the research
paper happened. Somehow I managed to get you to love me back and that is by far my
greatest achievement in life.”

Bending down, I get on one knee and hold the box out in front of me.

“I know I technically already asked you but it was rushed and I didn’t have this, so I’m doing
it again. I want to be the person you come home to and rant to about the knobheads at work. I
want to be the one you spend your afternoons reading with and I want to proudly stand by
your side and support you through all of your achievements and comfort you on the hard
days. I want to be in a crowded room and be able to point over at you and say that’s my wife.
I want to continue to spend an absurd amount of money bribing your favorite authors to send
me early copies of their newest books. You’re my best friend, don’t tell Theo he’ll punch me.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I promise to never let a day go by where you
aren’t reminded of how much I love you. I want to give you the world, Hermione. Whatever
it is that you want, just say the word and it’s yours.”

“And what if what I want is you?” She chokes out.

“Then I am all yours, Granger. For as long as you’ll have me.” I reply. “Marry me,
Hermione.”

“Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.” She cries out as she throws her body into me, nearly
knocking us to the ground.

“I didn’t even show you the ring yet.” I laugh.

 “To hell with the ring!”

“Are you sure?” I ask as I open the box and hold it up for her to see.

“Oh.” She gasps. “Er-okay, maybe not to hell with the ring.”

“I love you, Hermione.”

“I love you too Draco.”

3:00 pm

Once we both managed to stop crying and Granger stopped rambling about how she doesn’t
feel like she deserves to have my grandmother’s ring, I escort her out to the garden.

“I knew you were up to someth-” She’s stopped mid sentence when all of her friends shout
happy birthday but it isn’t the abrupt appearance of Potter, Freckles, Lupin or any of my
friends that take her by surprise, it’s her parents.

“Draco what are they-”

“I need you to know something.” I say. “The past few months I’ve been joining Glenice in
Australia. We were meeting with your parents to try and find a way to reverse the
obliviation.”

“D-did you?”

I shake my head. “No, love. We did everything we could think of but nothing seemed to work
but that doesn’t mean we’ve given up but I wanted them to be here. I wanted them to know
you. I’m sorry if I made the wrong decision and if you’re mad at me I underst-” I’m cut off
by her lips pressing against mine.

“Thank you.” She says.

“You aren’t mad?”

“Not at all. I thought I’d never see them again but you brought them back to me. Thank you,
Draco.”

I place a kiss on her forehead and take her hand in mine. “Come on, let’s go see your
parents.”

Chapter End Notes

I lied. I have one more epilogue for you.
 Epilogue 2
Chapter Notes

Okay, for real this time. This is the final chapter.

(this one is very dialogue heavy, hope you enjoy it)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

August 22 2018

“Love, I really don’t see why we need to go to all of this trouble. He’s just going to rip it
open anyways.”

The glare that this witch shoots over at me is terrifying, especially combined with the scissors
in her hand. “It matters because it’s the effort that went into it. While he may not care about
the wrapping I do.”

I raise both of my hands in surrender and continue with my task of ripping off pieces of tape
and handing them to her. I still think doing this the muggle way is quite foolish. We’ve been
at it for nearly an hour now and there’s still four more things that need to be perfectly
wrapped and topped off with a bow. If we just used magic, like I suggested, we would’ve
been done ages ago. I gave up on that argument after his second birthday when Granger
proceeded to transfigure me into a ferret — I didn’t appreciate that.

“Draco.” Her harsh tone is all I need to know she’s discovered the present that I contributed
to the pile.

“Yes, love?”

“What in Merlin’s name are these?” She asks as she holds up the set of various knives.

“Knives.”

“Yes I’m aware that they’re knives but what are they doing in Scorpius’ pile of presents?”

“You’re the one who said we needed to wrap everything.”

“We are not giving our eleven year old son knives!”

“Technically he’s twelve in three.. two…” I begin counting as I stare down at my watch. The
second it turns midnight I shout “One! Twelve. Scorpius is twelve, the proper age to receive
such a gift.”

“No.”
“Why not? I was only a year older when I received my first knife.” I argue.

“And how did that work out for you?”

“Pretty well.” I shrug. “Earned me a fancy title and everything though I never got a raise in
that position, or any money at all which I still think is utter shit.”

“Draco.” She groans.

“Relax.” I say as I brush the hair out of her face. “He’s our son, being skilled with a knife is
in his dna.”

“We aren’t giving them to him. Now get them out of my sight before I remind you just how
skilled I am with one.”

“Love, don’t sweet talk me like that. You know how much I love a good threat.” I smirk.

“Now Draco!”

“Alright, alright.” Grabbing the knives, I begin walking out of the room but stop in the
doorway and turn back around to face her. “Hey Granger.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re still the most beautiful witch I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

Her cheeks turn a soft shade of red as she bites down on her bottom lip to help hide her smile
as she rolls her eyes. “It’s Granger-Malfoy.” She corrects.

August 23 2018

“It’s still so strange to think about the fact that we’re both dads.” Theo says as we stand in the
corner of the room and watch as Scorpius and his son, Henry, run around the room with their
brooms.

“You know what’s even more strange? The fact that Blaise managed to find someone to have
a kid with.” I joke.

“Speak of the devil. Hey shit head! Nice of you to finally join us.” Theo shouts over at Blaise
as he walks through the front door, his daughter pushing past him and over to where the rest
of the kids are.

“Sorry for being late.” He says. “The missus had to make sure her hair was perfect.”

“Not true!” Daphne exclaims as she smacks his arm. “It was him who took forever with his
hair.”
“Yeah, clearly.” Blaise says as he points to his practically bald head.

“Good to see you Daph.” I smile. “Hermione is in the kitchen but fair warning, she’s rather
explosive right now. Apparently the cake had the wrong icing.”

“I’ll go attempt to calm her down.” She tells me before shoving her purse into Blaise’s arms
and walking off.

“Marriage sucks.” He groans.

“Oh shut up.” Theo says. “It’s a miracle you even found yourself married in the first place.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“As much as I’d love to provide you with an essay long speech on the topic.” I say as I pat
his shoulder. “I believe my wife is about to cut my head off if I don’t go help her this instant.”

Granger is in fact staring me down and the look in her eye is very similar to the one she had
that night with Dolohov. I learned my place rather quickly in this marriage. Keep the wife
happy, do as she says and you get to continue to live.

Simple enough.

“Your forehead vein is popping out, where’s the fire?” I ask as I pretend to look around for
the flames.

“Shut up.” She giggles as she smacks me with a towel. “Can you please round up everyone in
the garden? I’m about to bring out the cake.”

“Of course.” Placing a kiss on her cheek, I head outside and inform everyone to please go
inside or else I’ll be a dead man. Everyone kindly does as requested, all except one.

Walking up to the small individual, I bend down and pluck one of the peonies. “For you, my
love.” I say as I hand the flower to her.

“These are my favorite.” She gushes as she brings the flower to her nose and sniffs it.

“Of course they are.” I smile as I tuck a single curl behind her ear. “You are your mother’s
daughter after all. Now come, we’re about to bring out your brother’s cake.” Offering my
hand, her fingers wrap tightly around my pointer finger and I help her up to her feet.

“Daddy?”

“Yes Ella?”

“Do I get presents today too?”

“No, it's your brother’s special day.”

“Oh.” She says as her head drops.

Merlin give me strength. I told myself I wouldn’t let those sad eyes work on me as a father
but each time I’ve seen them I’ve completely failed. Bending down once again, I place my
finger underneath her chin and lift her head.

“Perhaps we can go to the shops tomorrow and get you something, yeah?”

Instantly, her eyes light up and a giant smile that takes up her entire face appears.

“Okay!” She excitedly exclaims.

“But you have to be on your best behavior today.” I tell her. “No fighting with your brother.”

“Okay daddy.” She smiles.

“Promise?” I ask as I hold out my pinky.

“Promise.” She nods as she wraps her pinky around mine.

“Then it looks like we have a deal. Now, up we go.” I say as I pick her up and carry her in my
arms. “Your mother looks rather cross with us doesn’t she?”

“Mummy is always stressed on birthdays.”

“You do make a valid point there my love.”

Stepping inside, Granger shoots me yet another glare (probably for taking so long) but her
eyes soften once they land on Ella, who is licking her lips as she stares at the cake. Granger
begins singing happy birthday as she carefully carries the cake out, everyone else quickly
joins her in singing.

Scorpius has always been a rather shy one, especially when it comes to birthdays. He’s
refusing to make eye contact with anyone other than his mother and I. A wave of relief
washes over his face once the song comes to an end.

“Make a wish sweetheart.” Granger instructs as she rubs his back.

Scorpius tightly shuts his eyes and takes a moment to think over his wish before blowing out
the candles. Everyone is clapping for him and he quickly returns to his bashful state. Ella on
the other hand, is reaching out in front of her as she chants the same word over and over..
cake. Granger promptly cuts her a small piece and hands her the plate and places a kiss on her
forehead.

“Why does she smell like a mixture of dirt and flowers?” She asks me.

“Because that’s precisely where I found her.” I reply. “Isn’t that right?” I direct at Ella. “Do
you have something you want to give your mother?”

As her left hand shovels cake into her mouth, her right holds out the single flower I had given
her earlier. “For you mummy.” She says with her mouth full.
“Why thank you darling.” Granger smiles. “You really shouldn’t have.”

“Okay.” Ella shrugs before retracting her arm and holding the flower against her chest.

“She really is your daughter, isn’t she?” Granger teases.

“That she is.” I proudly state. “It’s only fair she got my charming personality since she got
your wild curls and brown eyes.”

“Scorpius got your hair and eyes.” She says. “And your snark might I add.”

“He did, didn’t he.” I grin. “But he has your love for books and is in possession of your
intellect. I’d say they’re the perfect balance of the both of us.”

“I can agree with you on that one.” Granger smiles as she leans in to kiss me.

“Ew!” Ella slaps her hand over her eyes.

“Ew?” I question as I raise a brow.

“Yes, ew! Mummy and daddy do not kiss!”

“Mummy and daddy do in fact kiss.” I reply as I place my hand on the back of Granger’s
neck and pull her into me, making sure to keep our lips locked for longer than usual.

“Gross!” Ella says as her nose scrunches out of disgust.

“You’ll find a boy one day that you’ll want to kiss.” Granger tells her.

“No she won’t.” I argue.

“Yeah, no I won’t!” Ella agrees.

“That’s my favorite girl.”

“Oh, you have a new favorite now huh?” Granger questions.

“That I do. Sorry love, the second you gave birth to this one right here you automatically
moved yourself down the list.”

“Daddy is even taking me to the shops tomorrow to get a new toy!”

“What the fuck Ella?!”

“Draco!” Granger hisses. “Language.”

“Sorry- I meant, what the hell Ella?”

“You’re impossible.” She says as she rolls her eyes and goes over to join Scorpius who has
just started to open his gifts.
“How could you out me like that?”

Ella just shrugs. “Does this mean we don’t get to go to the shops tomorrow?”

“You know damn well that we’re still going.” I sigh. “Let’s go watch your brother open his
presents.”

Granger made sure our children were the most well mannered kids in all of England but
despite Scorpius’ best fake smile, I can tell he hated a handful of his gifts and I don’t blame
him. I mean what the hell is a twelve year old going to do with an encyclopedia? He loves to
learn and all but for fucks sake, give my son something cool like a wizard’s chess set or
something. At least Hillman got the memo and gifted him exploding snaps.

The next gift he’s handed I instantly recognize because I was the one to wrap it. Granger’s
brows knit together as she picks it up and hears a clinking noise but brushes it off and hands
it to him. Scorpius rips off the wrapping and his face instantly beams as he stares down at the
three knives. I’m nodding my head and have a huge grin on my face which doesn’t falter
when Granger’s eyes shoot over to me.

“What is it Scorpius?” Blaise’s daughter, Amelia, asks.

“They’re knives!” Henry exclaims.

“No way that’s so cool!” Amelia adds.

“That was your doing, wasn’t it?” Pansy asks as she walks over to me.

“Obviously.” I reply.

“Your wife is going to kill you.”

“And what an honor that would be.”

August 24 2018

I slept on the couch last night.

Granger was not very happy with me for giving him the knives and refused to speak to me
the second our guests left. Scorpius was extremely happy with me though. Several times I’ve
found him rummaging through my desk and staring at my knives. He was fascinated and
clearly wanted one for himself. I’d be a terrible father if I didn’t get them for him.

Still, I figured it would be a good idea to grant Granger some space for the day so she can
cool down. As a way to get out of the house, I’m making good on my promise and find
myself at the shops with Ella. We’ve already been in four different ones and she still hasn’t
found something worthy enough to add to her collection, her words.. not mine.
“What about this?” I ask as I hold up a stuffed animal elephant.

She shakes her head.

“Okay, how about this?” This time I’m holding up a doll.

“Nope.”

“You want the thing, don’t you?”

For the first time today, I’m offered a response other than no. She’s nodding her head so fast
she’s probably giving herself whiplash.

“Alright.” I sigh. “Your mother is actually going to kill me, you know that right?”

“Sounds like a you problem.” She quips.

Gods. She really is my daughter.

-*-

“I’m serious Ella, if your mother asks, just say some kind stranger on the street gave them to
you for free.” I tell her as we enter the house.

“But why would a stranger give me fireworks?”

“I don’t know, just go with it.”

“Draco? Ella? Is that you?” Granger calls out from the kitchen.

“Yeah!” I shout back. “Hurry, go to your room and hide those.” I whisper to Ella to which she
quickly runs down the hall to her and Scorpius’ room.

“I was wondering when— where’s Ella?” Granger asks.

“In her room. She’s absolutely knackered after our day of shopping.”

“Ah, I see. Could you help me set the table?”

“It would be my honor, love.”

Joining Granger in the kitchen, I take the stack of plates and place them along the table while
she sets down the proper silverware. I kept my eye on her when she got around to the knives.
She may appear calm right now but I know her, she’s a sneaky one.

“I’m not going to stab you.” She says.

“Hey, you know I’m not opposed to such.” I reply which makes her smile. Thank Merlin, I
was beginning to miss seeing that.

“So, did Ella manage to find anything? I know she’s been rather difficult with toys as of late.”
“She did but nothing crazy or anything.” The second the lie falls from my lips there’s a high
pitched screeching noise which is shortly followed by a loud boom.

“Draco Lucius Malfoy. You. Did. Not.”

“Hey, it’s Granger-Malfoy.” I correct, which was a mistake. She’s about to strangle me, I can
see it in her eyes. Good thing I have my will set up, I hope Theo enjoys owning my collection
of socks that have various weird prints on them. I know Blaise will enjoy owning my hair
combs. Pans will most likely cherish the daily prophet clipping I saved from their wedding
day — she’s mid sneeze in the photo, it’s fantastic.

Oh gods, she’s slowly approaching me. Right now, she’s the lion and I’m her prey and I’m
both aroused and terrified. At least she doesn’t have a knife in her hand, just a spoon.
Granted, I know how to kill someone with a spoon so I wouldn’t find it surprising if she
knows how to as well.

I hope my children look back on our memories together fondly.

“You. Brought. Her. To. The. Joke. Shop?” She bites out.

“More like I followed her. She’s rather quick, I almost broke a sweat trying to keep up with
her.”

“Draco.” I’ve never liked the sound of her saying my name when she’s in this sort of mood.
I’d prefer it if she went back to saying my name in that light and loving way, not this whole
‘I’m going to murder you’ tone.

“Hermione, love, let’s talk about this.” My back meets the wall and she is in fact pressing the
tip of the spoon into my abdomen. Yeah, she definitely figured out how to kill someone with
a spoon. Well, I had a good run.

“I thought we agreed to never go there. To never bring our children around him.” Her face
twists in disgust at the mere reference of Weaslebee.

“Does it make it any better if I say he wasn’t working when we were there?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“No you idiot!”

“Well shit!” I say as I raise my hands. “Love, we’re still on good terms with George aren’t
we?”

“Yes but–”

“And you’re the one always saying we should support our friends and their endeavors,
correct?”
“Don’t use my own words against me.” She snarls.

“I’m not using them against you, I’m just reminding you that it’s George’s
business not Weaslebee’s.” I explain. “So I got Ella some wildfire whiz-bangs, that’s five
galleons in George's pocket.”

This is not going well, her eyes are still full of anger and I think if she adds anymore pressure
with that damn spoon she might actually puncture my skin. Alright, plan b.

“Granger.” My voice soft as I gently cup her cheek with my hand. “I know you don’t want
Weaslebee around our children for countless reasons. I checked to make sure he wasn’t
present before letting Ella go in but I’m afraid there’s going to come a time when they’re old
enough to go out with their friends and they might end up going there and run into him.
There’s only so much within our control.”

Something I said must’ve worked because her hand drops and the flames that were
previously in her eyes have now diffused.

“I know.” She sighs. “I just hate what he did and how he took advantage of the situation back
then, how he took advantage of me.”

“Trust me, I know. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t fantasize about killing the
fuckwit.”

“He got married last summer.” She tells me.

“I heard.”

“He’s a step dad, his son will be attending his first year alongside Scorpius.”

“I know.”

“Which means we’re most likely going to see him at the platform.”

“That we are.”

“Are you going to kill him when you see him?”

“Is this you giving me permission to do so?”

“No.” She says as she lets out a soft giggle. “I guess we were always bound to see him again,
it’s a small world.”

“That it is and his large head takes up a lot of space.” I joke which makes her laugh. Good,
we’re calming down. This is nice.

“I’m still mad at you.”

“I figured. Do you want me to make you a grilled cheese for dinner?”

“Don’t you mean gruyere, muenster and white cheddar cheese delicately melted between two
slices of artisan bread?” She mocks.

“Granger, it’s a fucking grilled cheese.” I deadpan.

“Yes, that would be nice but you have to serve it with the cloche just like you did that one
time.”

“Oh, I was going to whether you asked for it or not.”

August 31 2018

I had dreamt about this moment for a long time but even more so since the day Scorpius was
born. I remember how excited I was when I first stepped foot onto platform 9 ¾. My mother
was stressed beyond belief, I’m pretty sure she double checked my trunk five times to make
sure I had everything that I needed. My father was his usual eerily calm self and proceeded to
give me a lecture on how I needed to make sure I befriended “the right” sort. Potter was one
of the individuals he had suggested. He wasn’t too happy when he caught word that I royally
fucked that friendship up. Ironic that years later he ended up hating the fact that I was
friendly with scarhead.

Speaking of the bastard, Potter and Freckles approach us with their son Albus. I still think
Potter was in love with our old headmaster, I mean why else would he name his first born
after him? He tried to give me shit for Scorpius’ name when we first told him to which I
promptly reminded him that he was planning on naming his son after the man who raised him
like a pig to be slaughtered, that was a fun evening.

“Freckles, I see you decided to get the typical ugly mum haircut.”

“Draco, I see you’re still an insufferable prat.”

“Hi Gin.” Granger smiles before pulling her into a hug.

“How are we holding up?” Potter asks me.

“Fine?”

“It’s okay to not be fine.”

“Potter, shut the fuck up. I’m fine, really.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that once Scorpius gets on the train.” He smirks.

“I will kill you.”

“You say that an awful lot but I’ve still yet to see you attempt to do so.”
“Oh really? Are you forgetting about the time I used you as a test dummy to check for any
wards at the manor?”

“I haven’t, just like I haven’t forgotten that you said you were seventy-eight percent positive
there weren’t any wards up.”

“Yeah, that was a lie.” I say as I place my hand on his shoulder. “It was more like twenty
percent.”

“What the fuck Draco?!”

“Easy! Watch your language around my children.” I sarcastically ridicule as I place my hands
over Ella’s ears. “Tsk Potter, you’re a terrible influence. Ten points from Gryffindor.”

His lips are parting and his finger is raising as he prepares to curse me out but his eyes catch
onto something behind me that makes him freeze. Turning my head, I spot what’s caused him
to go silent. Weaslebee. Looking over at Granger, I discover that she’s already taken notice of
his presence. Look, I’ve sworn off my killing lifestyle but I’d gladly make an exception and
come out of retirement just for him.

“H-hi Malfoy.” He sheepishly says as he approaches.

“It’s Granger-Malfoy.” I correct.

“Right-yeah-sorry.”

“You should be.”

“Is this your daughter?” He asks as he points down at Ella who is hiding behind my legs.

“It is but she gets scared quite easily and your face is surely the most terrifying thing she’s
ever seen. So if you could please stop looking at her, that would be greatly appreciated.”

“O-okay.” He says before clearing his throat. “Er-this is my wife, Olivia.” A rather petite
brunette woman steps around and offers me a kind smile as she extends her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you.” She says.

“Likewise.” I say through a tight smile as I shake her hand. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“My loss?”

“Of your dignity, seeing as you’re married to this tart.” My chin jutting in Weaslebee’s
direction. Out of the corner of my eye I see Granger and Scorpius approaching. “This is my
wife, Hermione.” I inform Olivia as I place my hand on Granger’s lower back.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Hermione.”

“You as well and this is our son Scorpius.”

“Well hello there.” Olivia says as she crouches down to his level and shakes his hand. “It’s
very nice to meet you, I’m Olivia.”

“My father talks about killing your husband a lot. I’ve heard stories, he’s rather good at
killing and I think he might actually do it.” Scorpius casually says, which causes both
Granger and I to snicker.

“Charming.” Weaslebee says. “Well, it was good to see the both of you.” He’s now looking at
Granger who is looking everywhere but at him.

Stepping in front of her to block his view, I say “You should probably get going now.”

“Right, er-see you around I guess.”

“Highly unlikely.”

Once both he and his wife are out of earshot, Potter lets out an exaggerated sigh and says
“Well that was fucking awkward.”

“Language!” Both Granger and I shoot over at him.

“Merlin, my bad.” He says. “I’m going to go make sure Albus has everything he needs before
he boards the train.”

Granger looks like she can finally breathe again now that it’s just the four of us. Snapping
back into mother mode, she goes down her checklist with Scorpius who seems to only be half
listening.

“Hey.” I say, lightly nudging him. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “I think maybe I want to wait another year before going.”

Granger and I exchange a look which results in her taking Ella over to where Freckles, Potter
and Albus are while I pull Scorpius over to the side.

“What’s going on?” I ask. “You were excited the whole way here.” His head is hanging while
he kicks at a stone on the ground and pulls at the loose strings on his shirt. “Scorpius, look at
me.” Hesitantly, he lifts his head and his eyes meet mine. “Talk to me son.”

“I’m scared.” He admits.

“Scared? About what?”

“Everything.” He says as he throws his hands up in the air. “What if I don’t get sorted into the
right house? What if I don’t make any friends or people think I’m weird? What if I’m not
good enough dad?”

Six words I had hoped to never hear come out of either of my kid’s mouths. It pains me that
for even a second he would’ve thought he wouldn’t be good enough, it’s the exact opposite of
how I want him to feel. My only mission as a father was to make sure my kids knew how
much they were loved and that they could never be a failure in our eyes. So to hear him even
entertain the idea that he could possibly not be good enough kills me.

“I want you to listen to me very closely, son. There will never be a world in which you aren’t
good enough. You carry both the Granger and Malfoy name, that alone is enough to prove
that you are capable of doing whatever it is you set your mind to.”

“I just don’t want to disappoint you or mum.”

“You could never disappoint us. Unless you get sorted into Hufflepuff, then you might as
well just never return home.” I sarcastically say which makes him laugh. “Even if you got
sorted into Hufflepuff, your mother and I would still forever be proud of you. Some rather
successful individuals were sorted into that house, one of which is your godfather.”

“Uncle Ben was in Hufflepuff?” He asks.

“He was.” I nod. “So you see, there isn’t a single thing you could do that would disappoint us
so rid yourself of that thought immediately.”

“How are we doing over here?” Granger asks as she approaches, Ella clutching tightly onto
her hand.

“Dad said it’s okay if I got sorted into Hufflepuff.”

“Oh did he?” Granger’s eyebrows raise out of surprise.

“I did and it pained me to do so.” Gently grabbing Scorpius’ arm to regain his attention, I ask
if he’s feeling better to which he nods his head. “Good. Now, one last thing. What do we do if
someone gives us a hard time?”

“Punch them in the throat.” He confidently says.

“That’s fucking right.” I proudly exclaim as I clap my hands together.

“Draco!”

“Relax love, no one is going to mess with him.” I assure her. “But if they do, give them hell.”
I wink at Scorpius. “Let’s get you on that train, yeah?” Taking his hand and picking up his
trunk, I walk him over to the entrance and hand his belongings off to the conductor.

While Scorpius is hugging Granger and Ella, I can see the tears that she's been fighting back
all day beginning to fall from her eyes. I knew I was right when I said she’d be a mess today.
Next, Scorpius tightly wraps his arms around my torso. Fuck. Am I about to cry too? No. No
way. Okay, I just might but not right now.

“I love you dad.” He mumbles against my stomach.

“I love you too.”

 Picking up Ella and taking Granger’s hand, we both step back and watch as he gets onto the
train and rushes down to his cart. Just as the train starts to move we spot him in the window
and wave him off.

“Daddy, when do I get to go on the train?” Ella asks.

“Never.” I say, my voice cracking as I muster all of my strength to keep myself from crying.

“Mummy, why does daddy’s voice sound so weird?”

“Your father is a bit emotional right now.” Granger tells her as she gently squeezes my hand
to comfort me.

“Don’t cry daddy, I’m still here.” Ella says as she places her hand on my cheek.

Grabbing her hand and kissing her palm I say “Yes you are my love and you’re never
leaving.”

I feel a hand on my shoulder which is shortly followed by the sound of Potter’s voice.
Fantastic. “I knew you’d cry. I even bet Gin ten galleons.” He says with a smug look on his
face.

“Fuck off Potter.”

“Hey! Language.”

Chapter End Notes

Well fuck, we made it to the end huh?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. This is the first one I've ever
taken the time to properly plan out, truly put effort into and actually see through until the
end (my username was not meant to be ironic, I usually abandon a story at the most
random of times)

I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. It's crazy to look back on the
beginning chapters and comparing it to the most recent ones.

Oh how the characters (and word count) developed.

I've had a few people either comment or direct message me asking about getting it
binded. I have had a few people who bind books reach out asking for permission but
only for personal use. With that being said, if a binder requests permission to put it
together for commission (as long as no profit is being made) I will gladly authorize
such.
I wanted to also say that seeing as I had no beta there are bound to be several typos
scattered throughout the story. I will be going through (at some point) and editing those
alongside some sentences or areas that may just need to be smoothed out. (Nothing
major to the story or plot will be changed)

Again, thank you. Thank you for sticking around and suffering through the grueling
process that is following a WIP. Thank you for your comments and to those of you that
have recommended my story to others.

I'm so excited to watch as new people randomly pop in and experience this story for the
first time and if you decide to revisit this again I have one question, are you okay? (No,
it’s fine, I understand. We love the pain.)

With all of that being said,

Until next time.

This has been one hell of a journey.

Xx justalazywriterr
Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!