Self-harm and teenagers
What is self-harm?
Self-harm (or self-injury) is when someone deliberately harms their body but without
suicidal intent. It can be done by cutting or by other means. You may not understand
it, or why your child might be doing it, and it will probably be very confronting. It’s
really important for you to learn more about self-harming and support your child by
identifying the cause of the behaviour and helping them to develop more effective
coping skills.
For most young people who self-harm, it’s a way to cope with or gain relief from
painful or difficult emotions, thoughts or memories. It’s not a direct attempt to end
their life. However, people who self-harm may be at a greater risk of accidentally
causing potentially life-threatening injuries.
For some young people, self-harm may be happening alongside having suicidal
thoughts and there may be more going on with them than just the physical behaviour.
Why do teenagers self-harm?
Self-harm in teenagers is usually a reaction to emotional stress. Research shows that
around one in three young people have considered harming themselves, and in the
past decade young people have consistently had the highest hospitalisation rates for
self-harm.
While every situation is different, there are common immediate causes stemming
from a wide range of issues that people may not be directly aware of or associate with
the self-harming behaviour. These can include:
bullying in or out of school
stress and depression
a troubled family life
lifestyle factors such as housing insecurity or financial stress
relationship issues or breakdowns
study or performance stress
childhood trauma or abuse
mental health problems.
The response to any or all of these issues won’t always be to self-harm. Whether your
teen reacts to these issues by self-harming may depend on if they have alternative
ways of coping with stressors and how overwhelmed they feel by their situation. It can
be difficult to understand why your child has resorted to self-harming behaviour, and
it’s important to listen to them and try to understand rather than judge them.
Some reasons that young people have put forward to explain their self-harming
behaviour include:
trying to express strong, complicated or hidden feelings
proving to themselves that they aren’t invisible
feeling in control
getting an immediate sense of relief
communicating a need for support.
If your teen is self-harming as a way to communicate that they need support, it’s
important not to imply that it’s attention-seeking behaviour. Attaching negative
judgements to a self-harming situation may isolate your teen and prevent them from
seeking health or emotional support from you in the future.
The signs of self-harm in teenagers
It can often be hard to spot the signs of self-harm as many people will try to keep
them hidden. Sometimes you’ll notice unexplained injuries, but more often the signs
are changes in normal behaviour.
Social and behavioural signs may include:
wearing long-sleeved clothes in hot weather
avoiding swimming or other activities where a lot of their body can be seen
hiding clothes or washing them separately
being secretive about their room or possessions
creating strange excuses for injuries
changing their eating, sleeping or communication habits
being less active socially or less interested in school and hobbies.
Emotional and physical signs may include:
having frequent injuries or sores
being less energetic or appearing pallid
often feeling sick and unwell
feeling sad, angry or irritable
appearing disconnected or disinterested during conversations
putting less effort into their hygiene or appearance
feeling guilty or ashamed
Because the self-harming behaviour is often hidden, the signs may not be obvious.
This is why it’s important to be alert to any indications that your child may be thinking
about self-harming or has already self-harmed.
How is self-harm treated?
There are different approaches to treating self-harm. Your doctor, counsellor or
psychologist will work with you to develop a treatment plan.
Psychological therapies can help you understand why you self-harm. They can also
give you tools and techniques to help you cope with any challenging thoughts and
feelings.
Psychological therapies for self-harm may include:
cognitive behaviour therapy
dialectical behavioural therapy
mindfulness
problem solving therapy
What techniques can be used as distractions from self-harming?
Techniques that work as alternatives and distractions from self-harm can help relieve
distress in the short-term. But remember, it’s important to seek medical help to stop
self-harming behaviours.
Examples of alternatives to self-harm that can relieve distress in the short term
include the following.
Distract yourself by doing an activity that you enjoy such as reading, art,
journaling, listening to music or going for a walk.
Divert to an activity that will not cause injuries, such as holding ice cubes in
your hands, wearing a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it when you feel
you need to, or punching a pillow.
Doing some deep breathing and relaxation exercises.
You may want to copy your list of alternative activities onto a piece of paper or into
your phone. This way you have it when you need it.
Complications of self-harming behaviour
Self-harming behaviour can have very serious complications, such as an increased
risk of serious physical harm or accidental suicide. These complications can occur
when you cause more damage than intended.
People who repeatedly self-harm may become suicidal or feel hopeless.
Activity!
Make a short paragraph on how to help a friend/peer who
has the tendency of doing self-harm or suicidal thoughts.
