ARTEMIS

A NDY W EIR
hing

For Michael Collins, Dick Gordon, Jack Swigert,

of companies whose Stu Roosa, Al Worden, Ken Mattingly, and Ron Evans.
omhouse.com
Because those guys don’t get nearly enough credit

the author of this

d Patents Act 1988

s are the product of

ual persons, living or

rs, an imprint of the

use LLC, a Penguin
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of Ebury Publishing

m the British Library

s PLC

nable future for

book is made
ed paper.
 Apollo 11/ Artemis
S Visitor Center
E
A
O Tranquility Bay
F Freight Airlock

T
R
A
N Bean
Q
(40 n

U
km)
i
Tra

I L
I T
Y

MOLTKE
CRATER
ARTEMIS
Smelter/
Reactors
Foothil 0 meters 200
e

ls
Moltk

MOLTKE A
0 km 20 To Artemis (1 km)
B
The
Apollo 11 Visitor Center Sanch
Aluminum
Bubb
TV Camera

EVA Solar Wind Composition Train Airlock

Airlock EAST
CRATER
Apollo 11
Descent Module
Apollo 11
Visitor
Center Paths traversed by
Armstrong & Aldrin

Train Airlock Passive Seismic

Laser Ranging Experiment Package
To Artemis
(40 km) Retroreflector 0 meters 50 0 meters 50
 Artemis Conrad
Airlock
er To Apollo 11
Visitor Center
(40 km)
Conrad
Tranquility Bay
Freight Airlock

Aldrin

Bean
I L
I T Armstrong
Y ISRO Airlock Port of Entry
Train Station
Freight Airlock

MOLTKE Shepard
CRATER

0 meters 200
To Smelter & Reactors (1 km)

km 20
Smelter &
To Artemis (1 km)
Reactors
Berm
The
Reactor 1 Reactor 2
11 Visitor Center Sanchez
Aluminum Smelter
Bubble

position Train Airlock

EAST
CRATER
dule

aths traversed by
mstrong & Aldrin

mic
Package
ls
0 meters 50 Pane
Heat Rejection
meters 50
ARTEMIS
 1

I bounded over the gray, dusty terrain toward the huge dome
of Conrad Bubble. Its airlock, ringed with red lights, stood dis-
tressingly far away.
It’s hard to run with a hundred kilograms of gear on— even in
lunar gravity. But you’d be amazed how fast you can hustle when
your life is on the line.
Bob ran beside me. His voice came over the radio: “Let me
connect my tanks to your suit!”
“That’ll just get you killed too.”
“The leak’s huge,” he huffed. “I can see the gas escaping your
tanks.”
“Thanks for the pep talk.”
“I’m the EVA master here,” Bob said. “Stop right now and let
me cross-connect!”
“Negative.” I kept running. “There was a pop right before the
leak alarm. Metal fatigue. Got to be the valve assembly. If you
cross-connect you’ll puncture your line on a jagged edge.”
“I’m willing to take that risk!”
“I’m not willing to let you,” I said. “Trust me on this, Bob. I
know metal.”
I switched to long, even hops. It felt like slow motion, but
it was the best way to move with all that weight. My helmet’s
heads-up display said the airlock was fifty-two meters away.
2 ANDY WEIR

I glanced at my arm readouts. My oxygen reserve plummeted deprivation heada

while I watched. So I stopped watching. at least. I’d manag
The long strides paid off. I was really hauling ass now. I even The hiss died t
left Bob behind, and he’s the most skilled EVA master on the Bob finally ma
moon. That’s the trick: Add more forward momentum every the small round w
time you touch the ground. But that also means each hop is a “Status?” he ra
tricky affair. If you screw up, you’ll face-plant and slide along “Conscious,” I
the ground. EVA suits are tough, but it’s best not to grind them “Can you stand
against regolith. Bob couldn’t co
“You’re going too fast! If you trip you could crack your face- airlock with a bad
plate!” the city could open
“Better than sucking vacuum,” I said. “I’ve got maybe ten sec- “No need.” I g
onds.” steadied myself
“I’m way behind you,” he said. “Don’t wait for me.” cleanse. High-pre
I only realized how fast I was going when the triangular lunar dust swirle
plates of Conrad filled my view. They were growing very quickly. vents along the w
“Shit!” No time to slow down. I made one final leap and added After the clean
a forward roll. I timed it just right—more out of luck than skill— I stepped into t
and hit the wall with my feet. Okay, Bob was right. I’d been going plopped down on a
way too fast. Bob cycled thr
I hit the ground, scrambled to my feet, and clawed at the emergency tank (w
hatch crank. the normal pumps
My ears popped. Alarms blared in my helmet. The tank was joined me in the a
on its last legs—it couldn’t counteract the leak anymore. I wordlessly h
I pushed the hatch open and fell inside. I gasped for breath should never mak
and my vision blurred. I kicked the hatch closed, reached up to but it’s a pain in t
the emergency tank, and yanked out the pin. returned the favor
The top of the tank flew off and air flooded into the compart- “Well, that suc
ment. It came out so fast, half of it liquefied into fog particles “You almost d
from the cooling that comes with rapid expansion. I fell to the have listened to m
ground, barely conscious. I wriggled out
I panted in my suit and suppressed the urge to puke. That a jagged piece of m
was way the hell more exertion than I’m built for. An oxygen- like I said. Metal
 ARTEMIS 3

serve plummeted deprivation headache took root. It’d be with me for a few hours,
at least. I’d managed to get altitude sickness on the moon.
ng ass now. I even The hiss died to a trickle, then finished.
VA master on the Bob finally made it to the hatch. I saw him peek in through
momentum every the small round window.
ans each hop is a “Status?” he radioed.
nt and slide along “Conscious,” I wheezed.
not to grind them “Can you stand? Or should I call for an assist?”
Bob couldn’t come in without killing me—I was lying in the
d crack your face- airlock with a bad suit. But any of the two thousand people inside
the city could open the airlock from the other side and drag me in.
got maybe ten sec- “No need.” I got to my hands and knees, then to my feet. I
steadied myself against the control panel and initiated the
or me.” cleanse. High-pressure air jets blasted me from all angles. Gray
en the triangular lunar dust swirled in the airlock and got pulled into filtered
wing very quickly. vents along the wall.
nal leap and added After the cleanse, the inner hatch door opened automatically.
f luck than skill— I stepped into the antechamber, resealed the inner hatch, and
ght. I’d been going plopped down on a bench.
Bob cycled through the airlock the normal way—no dramatic
nd clawed at the emergency tank (which now had to be replaced, by the way). Just
the normal pumps-and-valves method. After his cleanse cycle, he
met. The tank was joined me in the antechamber.
anymore. I wordlessly helped Bob out of his helmet and gloves. You
gasped for breath should never make someone de-suit themselves. Sure, it’s doable,
sed, reached up to but it’s a pain in the ass. There’s a tradition to these things. He
returned the favor.
into the compart- “Well, that sucked,” I said as he lifted my helmet off.
into fog particles “You almost died.” He stepped out of his suit. “You should
nsion. I fell to the have listened to my instructions.”
I wriggled out of my suit and looked at the back. I pointed to
rge to puke. That a jagged piece of metal that was once a valve. “Blown valve. Just
lt for. An oxygen- like I said. Metal fatigue.”
4 ANDY WEIR

He peered at the valve and nodded. “Okay. You were right to a pass?” He closed
refuse cross-connection. Well done. But this still shouldn’t have take the test in si
happened. Where the hell did you get that suit?” I blocked his pa
“I bought it used.” my life on hold be
“Why would you buy a used suit?” “Pay more att
“Because I couldn’t afford a new one. I barely had enough around me and ou
money for a used one and you assholes won’t let me join the guild you get that leak
until I own a suit.” I watched him
“You should have saved up for a new one.” Bob Lewis is a for- “Fuck.”
mer US Marine with a no-bullshit attitude. More important, he’s
the EVA Guild’s head trainer. He answers to the guild master,
but Bob and Bob alone determines your suitability to become a
member. And if you aren’t a member, you aren’t allowed to do I plodded through
solo EVAs or lead groups of tourists on the surface. That’s how At least it wasn’t
guilds work. Dicks. meter across.
“So? How’d I do?” I live in Artem
He snorted. “Are you kidding me? You failed the exam, Jazz. It’s made of five h
You super-duper failed.” derground, so Art
“Why?!” I demanded. “I did all the required maneuvers, moon city should
accomplished all the tasks, and finished the obstacle course parts that are bel
in under seven minutes. And, when a near-fatal problem oc- Armstrong Bu
curred, I kept from endangering my partner and got safely back Conrad, Bean, an
to town.” neighbors via tun
He opened a locker and stacked his gloves and helmet in- as an assignment
side. “Your suit is your responsibility. It failed. That means you balls and sticks. I
failed.” It’s pricey to ge
“How can you blame me for that leak?! Everything was fine city can’t just be r
when we headed out!” working-class peo
“This is a results-oriented profession. The moon’s a mean old tard III to clean h
bitch. She doesn’t care why your suit fails. She just kills you I’m one of the l
when it does. You should have inspected your gear better.” He I live in Conra
hung the rest of his suit on its custom rack in the locker. ground in Conrad
“Come on, Bob!” noisseurs would d
“Jazz, you almost died out there. How can I possibly give you and poor life decis
 ARTEMIS 5

You were right to a pass?” He closed the locker and started to leave. “You can re-
till shouldn’t have take the test in six months.”
?” I blocked his path. “That’s so ridiculous! Why do I have to put
my life on hold because of some arbitrary guild rule?”
“Pay more attention to equipment inspection.” He stepped
arely had enough around me and out of the antechamber. “And pay full price when
t me join the guild you get that leak fixed.”
I watched him go, then slumped onto the bench.
Bob Lewis is a for- “Fuck.”
re important, he’s
the guild master,
bility to become a
en’t allowed to do I plodded through the maze of aluminum corridors to my home.
urface. That’s how At least it wasn’t a long walk. The whole city is only half a kilo-
meter across.
I live in Artemis, the first (and so far, only) city on the moon.
d the exam, Jazz. It’s made of five huge spheres called “bubbles.” They’re half un-
derground, so Artemis looks exactly like old sci-fi books said a
uired maneuvers, moon city should look: a bunch of domes. You just can’t see the
e obstacle course parts that are belowground.
fatal problem oc- Armstrong Bubble sits in the middle, surrounded by Aldrin,
nd got safely back Conrad, Bean, and Shepard. The bubbles each connect to their
neighbors via tunnels. I remember making a model of Artemis
es and helmet in- as an assignment in elementary school. Pretty simple: just some
. That means you balls and sticks. It took ten minutes.
It’s pricey to get here and expensive as hell to live here. But a
erything was fine city can’t just be rich tourists and eccentric billionaires. It needs
working-class people too. You don’t expect J. Worthalot Richbas-
moon’s a mean old tard III to clean his own toilet, do you?
She just kills you I’m one of the little people.
r gear better.” He I live in Conrad Down 15, a grungy area fifteen floors under-
the locker. ground in Conrad Bubble. If my neighborhood were wine, con-
noisseurs would describe it as “shitty, with overtones of failure
I possibly give you and poor life decisions.”
6 ANDY WEIR

I walked down the row of closely spaced square doors until I traffic. It’s only on
got to my own. Mine was a “lower” bunk, at least. Easier to get much energy.
into and out of. I waved my Gizmo across the lock and the door The shittier th
clicked open. I crawled in and closed it behind me. rad Down’s halls a
I lay in the bunk and stared at the ceiling—which was less enough for two pe
than a meter from my face. I wound throug
Technically, it’s a “capsule domicile” but everyone calls them None of the eleva
coffins. It’s just an enclosed bunk with a door I can lock. There’s three at a time. S
only one use for a coffin: sleep. Well, okay, there’s another use Earth— short littl
(which also involves being horizontal), but you get my point. the tourists more
I have a bed and a shelf. That’s it. There’s a communal bath- stairs are each a
room down the hall and public showers a few blocks away. My Anyway, I hopped
coffin isn’t going to be featured in Better Homes and Moonscapes level. Walking up
anytime soon, but it’s all I can afford. rible, but it’s not t
I checked my Gizmo for the time. “Craaaap.” Ground level is
No time to brood. The KSC freighter was landing that after- bles come in. Natu
noon and I’d have work to do. ist traps want to b
To be clear: The sun doesn’t define “afternoon” for us. We only Conrad, that most
get a “noon” every twenty-eight Earth days and we can’t see it, who can’t afford r
anyway. Each bubble has two six-centimeter-thick hulls with a A small crowd
meter of crushed rock between them. You could shoot a howitzer only way to get fro
at the city and it still wouldn’t leak. Sunlight definitely can’t way around throu
get in. passed by the hug
So what do we use for time of day? Kenya Time. It was after- nel breached, the e
noon in Nairobi, so it was afternoon in Artemis. closed. Everyone
I was sweaty and gross from my near-death EVA. There was tunnel at the time
no time to shower, but I could change, at least. I lay flat, stripped “Well, if it isn
off my EVA coolant-wear, and pulled on my blue jumpsuit. I fas- acted like we were
tened the belt then sat up, cross-legged, and put my hair in a “Dale,” I said.
ponytail. Then I grabbed my Gizmo and headed out. He hurried to
We don’t have streets in Artemis. We have hallways. It costs Nothing else gets
a lot of money to make real estate on the moon and they sure as “Hey, remembe
hell aren’t going to waste it on roads. You can have an electric to say? Oh wait, m
cart or scooter if you want, but the hallways are designed for foot “I hear you fa
 ARTEMIS 7

uare doors until I traffic. It’s only one-sixth Earth’s gravity. Walking doesn’t take
east. Easier to get much energy.
lock and the door The shittier the neighborhood, the narrower the halls. Con-
me. rad Down’s halls are positively claustrophobic. They’re just wide
g—which was less enough for two people to pass each other by turning sideways.
I wound through the corridors toward the center of Down 15.
eryone calls them None of the elevators were nearby, so I bounded up the stairs
I can lock. There’s three at a time. Stairwells in the core are just like stairwells on
here’s another use Earth— short little twenty-one-centimeter-high steps. It makes
get my point. the tourists more comfortable. In areas that don’t get tourists,
a communal bath- stairs are each a half meter high. That’s lunar gravity for you.
w blocks away. My Anyway, I hopped up the tourist stairs until I reached ground
s and Moonscapes level. Walking up fifteen floors of stairwell probably sounds hor-
rible, but it’s not that big a deal here. I wasn’t even winded.
.” Ground level is where all the tunnels connecting to other bub-
anding that after- bles come in. Naturally, all the shops, boutiques, and other tour-
ist traps want to be there to take advantage of the foot traffic. In
on” for us. We only Conrad, that mostly meant restaurants selling Gunk to tourists
nd we can’t see it, who can’t afford real food.
thick hulls with a A small crowd funneled into the Aldrin Connector. It’s the
d shoot a howitzer only way to get from Conrad to Aldrin (other than going the long
ht definitely can’t way around through Armstrong), so it’s a major thoroughfare. I
passed by the huge circular plug door on my way in. If the tun-
Time. It was after- nel breached, the escaping air from Conrad would force that door
s. closed. Everyone in Conrad would be saved. If you were in the
h EVA. There was tunnel at the time . . . well, it sucks to be you.
I lay flat, stripped “Well, if it isn’t Jazz Bashara!” said a nearby asshole. He
ue jumpsuit. I fas- acted like we were friends. We weren’t friends.
put my hair in a “Dale,” I said. I kept walking.
d out. He hurried to catch up. “Must be a cargo ship coming in.
hallways. It costs Nothing else gets your lazy ass in uniform.”
n and they sure as “Hey, remember that time I gave a shit about what you have
n have an electric to say? Oh wait, my mistake. That never happened.”
e designed for foot “I hear you failed the EVA exam today.” He tsked in mock
8 ANDY WEIR

disappointment. “Tough break. I passed on my first try, but we I make in a mont

can’t all be me, can we?” income).
“Fuck off.” Despite the cos
“Yeah, I got to tell you, tourists pay good money to go outside. supply. Middle-cla
Hell, I’m headed to the Visitor Center right now to give some experience with s
tours. I’ll be raking it in.” in crappier bubble
“Make sure to hop on the really sharp rocks while you’re out trips and stay in n
there.” More than any
“Nah,” he said. “People who passed the exam know better temis.
than to do that.” There was noth
“It was just a lark,” I said nonchalantly. “It’s not like EVA someday, I’d have
work is a real job.” anyway. I took one
“Yeah, you’re right. Someday I hope to be a delivery girl like to the Port of Ent
you.” Aldrin is the
“Porter,” I grumbled. “The term is ‘porter.’ ” want rich people
He smirked in a very punchable way. Thankfully we’d made poverished areas,
it to Aldrin Bubble. I shouldered past him and out of the con- I strolled throu
nector. Aldrin’s plug door stood vigil, just as Conrad’s did. I hur- sive airlock comp
ried ahead and took a sharp right just to get out of Dale’s line (Only Aldrin Par
of sight. slid my way betw
Aldrin is the opposite of Conrad in every respect. Conrad’s In town, you have
full of plumbers, glass blowers, metalworkers, welding shops, re- But the port is fo
pair shops . . . the list goes on. But Aldrin is truly a resort. It has Longstep and can
hotels, casinos, whorehouses, theaters, and even an honest-to- At the north s
God park with real grass. Wealthy tourists from all over Earth the train airlock. M
come for two-week stays. chez Aluminum’s
I passed through the Arcade. It wasn’t the fastest route to uses insane amou
where I was going, but I liked the view. everyone agrees i
New York has Fifth Avenue, London has Bond Street, and well . . . they’re nu
Artemis has the Arcade. The stores don’t bother to list prices. Dale slithered
If you have to ask, you can’t afford it. The Ritz-Carlton Artemis Apollo 11 Visitor
occupies an entire block and extends five floors up and another ride provides stun
five down. A single night there costs 12,000 slugs—more than tor Center is a gre
 ARTEMIS 9

y first try, but we I make in a month as a porter (though I have other sources of
income).
Despite the costs of a lunar vacation, demand always exceeds
oney to go outside. supply. Middle-class Earthers can afford it as a once-in-a-lifetime
now to give some experience with suitable financing. They stay at crappier hotels
in crappier bubbles like Conrad. But wealthy folks make annual
s while you’re out trips and stay in nice hotels. And my, oh my, do they shop.
More than anywhere else, Aldrin is where money enters Ar-
xam know better temis.
There was nothing in the shopping district I could afford. But
“It’s not like EVA someday, I’d have enough to belong there. That was my plan,
anyway. I took one more long look, then turned away and headed
a delivery girl like to the Port of Entry.
Aldrin is the closest bubble to the landing zone. Wouldn’t
want rich people dirtying themselves by traveling through im-
nkfully we’d made poverished areas, right? Bring them straight into the pretty part.
nd out of the con- I strolled through the large archway into the port. The mas-
onrad’s did. I hur- sive airlock complex is the second-largest chamber in the city.
out of Dale’s line (Only Aldrin Park is larger.) The room buzzed with activity. I
slid my way between workers who efficiently glided to and fro.
respect. Conrad’s In town, you have to walk slowly or you’ll knock over tourists.
welding shops, re- But the port is for professionals only. We all know the Artemis
uly a resort. It has Longstep and can get a good head of steam going.
ven an honest-to- At the north side of the port, a few commuters waited near
om all over Earth the train airlock. Most were headed to the city reactors and San-
chez Aluminum’s smelter, a kilometer south of town. The smelter
e fastest route to uses insane amounts of heat and extremely nasty chemicals, so
everyone agrees it should be far away. As for the reactors . . .
Bond Street, and well . . . they’re nuclear reactors. We like those far away too.
her to list prices. Dale slithered over to the train platform. He’d be going to the
z-Carlton Artemis Apollo 11 Visitor Center. Tourists love it. The half-hour train
rs up and another ride provides stunning views of the moon’s terrain, and the Visi-
slugs—more than tor Center is a great place to look at the landing site without ever
10 ANDY WEIR

leaving pressure. And for those who do want to venture outside “Good morning
to get a better view, Dale and other EVA masters are ready to had been buddies
give them a tour. like a beloved unc
Just in front of the train airlock there was a huge Kenyan “Get in line wi
flag. Beneath it were the words “You are now boarding Kenya Okay, maybe m
Offshore Platform Artemis. This platform is the property of the “Come on, Mr.
Kenya Space Corporation. International maritime laws apply.” ment for weeks. W
I stared daggers at Dale. He didn’t notice. Damn, I wasted a “Did you trans
perfectly good bitchy glare. “Did you stamp
I checked the landing zone schedule on my Gizmo. No meat- He maintained
ship today (that’s what we call passenger ships). They only come pulled out a still-s
about once a week. The next one wouldn’t be for three days. “I don’t see a
Thank God. There’s nothing more annoying than trust-fund way every damn t
boys looking for “moon poon.” “You grew up
I headed to the south side, where the freight airlock stood He set his Gizmo
ready. It could fit ten thousand cubic meters of cargo through in tial. You pissed it
a single cycle, but bringing it in was a slow process. The pod had “You mean twe
arrived hours earlier. EVA masters had brought the entire pod He shook his
into the airlock and gave it the high-pressure air cleanse. around. More risk
We do everything we can to keep lunar dust from entering “That seems m
the city. Hell, I hadn’t even skipped the cleanse after my faulty lem,” I said. “We a
valve adventure earlier that day. Why go through all that has- “Hmm,” he sai
sle? Because lunar dust is extremely bad to breathe. It’s made of then. See if there’
teeny, tiny rocks, and there’s been no weather to smooth them I pursed my l
out. Each mote is a spiky, barbed nightmare just waiting to tear brought up my Giz
up your lungs. You’re better off smoking a pack of asbestos ciga- fer. The Gizmos di
rettes than breathing that shit. each other and ve
By the time I got to the freight airlock, the giant inner door Nakoshi picked
stood open and the pod was being unloaded. I slid up to Nakoshi, and nodded with a
the head longshoreman. He sat at his inspection table and exam- anyway?”
ined the contents of a shipping box. Satisfied that it contained no “Porn, mostly.
contraband, he closed the box and stamped it with the Artemis He snorted and
symbol—a capital A with the right side styled to look like a bow And that’s how
and arrow. simple, really. All
 ARTEMIS 11

to venture outside “Good morning, Mr. Nakoshi,” I said cheerfully. He and Dad
sters are ready to had been buddies since I was a little girl. He was family to me,
like a beloved uncle.
as a huge Kenyan “Get in line with the other porters, you little shit.”
w boarding Kenya Okay, maybe more like a distant cousin.
he property of the “Come on, Mr. N,” I wheedled. “I’ve been waiting on this ship-
ime laws apply.” ment for weeks. We talked about this.”
Damn, I wasted a “Did you transfer payment?”
“Did you stamp the package?”
Gizmo. No meat- He maintained eye contact and reached under the table. He
s). They only come pulled out a still-sealed box and slid it toward me.
be for three days. “I don’t see a stamp,” I said. “Do we have to do things this
g than trust-fund way every damn time? We used to be so close. What happened?”
“You grew up and became an underhanded pain in the ass.”
ight airlock stood He set his Gizmo on top of the box. “And you had so much poten-
f cargo through in tial. You pissed it away. Three thousand slugs.”
cess. The pod had “You mean twenty-five hundred, right? Like we agreed?”
ght the entire pod He shook his head. “Three thousand. Rudy’s been sniffing
air cleanse. around. More risk means more pay.”
ust from entering “That seems more like a Nakoshi problem than a Jazz prob-
se after my faulty lem,” I said. “We agreed to twenty-five hundred.”
ough all that has- “Hmm,” he said. “Maybe I should give it a detailed inspection
eathe. It’s made of then. See if there’s anything in here that shouldn’t be. . . .”
r to smooth them I pursed my lips. This wasn’t the time to make a stand. I
ust waiting to tear brought up my Gizmo’s banking software and initiated the trans-
k of asbestos ciga- fer. The Gizmos did whatever magic shit computers do to identify
each other and verify.
e giant inner door Nakoshi picked up his Gizmo, checked the confirmation page,
lid up to Nakoshi, and nodded with approval. He stamped the box. “What’s in there,
n table and exam- anyway?”
hat it contained no “Porn, mostly. Starring your mom.”
with the Artemis He snorted and continued with his inspections.
to look like a bow And that’s how to smuggle contraband into Artemis. Pretty
simple, really. All it takes is a corrupt official you’ve known since
12 ANDY WEIR

you were six years old. Getting the contraband to Artemis . . . town: Trond Lan
well, that’s another story. More on that later. telecom industry.
I could have picked up a bunch more packages to deliver ground floor— stu
around, but this one was special. I walked over to my cart and daughter, and a l
hopped in the driver’s side. I didn’t strictly need a cart—Artemis wanted to have a
wasn’t set up for vehicles—but it got me around faster, and I just brought him i
could deliver more stuff that way. Since I’m paid per delivery it I parked Trigg
was worth the investment. My cart is a pain in the ass to control, trances, anyway)
but it’s good at carrying heavy things. So I decided it was male. veal a bulky Russ
I named him Trigger. since the dawn of
I paid a monthly fee to store Trigger at the port. Where else She stared at m
would I keep him? I have less space at home than a typical Earth “Delivery,” I fin
prisoner. times in the past,
I powered Trigger up—there’s no key or anything. Just a but- I came to the door
ton. Why would anyone steal a cart? What would you do with it? She snorted, tu
Sell it? You’d never get away with it. Artemis is a small town. No tion to enter.
one steals shit. Well, okay, there’s some shoplifting. But no one I made snide f
takes carts. mansion’s foyer. S
I motored out of the port. opposite direction
“Always a plea
Through the a
wearing sweats a
I wound Trigger through the opulent passageways of Shepard I’d never seen befo
Bubble. It was a far cry from my sleazy neighborhood. The hall- “Anyway, the m
ways of Shepard feature wood paneling and tasteful, noise- and flashed a wid
absorption carpeting. Chandeliers hang every twenty meters to Trond’s guest h
provide light. Those, at least, aren’t stupidly expensive. We’ve and fumbled it clo
got plenty of silicon on the moon, so glass is locally made. But I normally wouldn
still, talk about ostentatious. “Good to see yo
If you think vacationing on the moon is expensive, you don’t couch.
want to know what it costs to live in Shepard Bubble. Aldrin is Trond gesture
all overpriced resorts and hotels, but Shepard is where wealthy Kong. Jin, this is
Artemisians live. here on the moon.
I was headed to the estate of one of the richest richfucks in Jin bowed his
 ARTEMIS 13

nd to Artemis . . . town: Trond Landvik. He’d made a fortune in the Norwegian

telecom industry. His home occupied a big chunk of Shepard’s
ckages to deliver ground floor— stupidly huge, considering it was just him, his
er to my cart and daughter, and a live-in maid. But hey, it was his money. If he
d a cart—Artemis wanted to have a big house on the moon, who was I to judge? I
und faster, and I just brought him illegal shit as requested.
aid per delivery it I parked Trigger next to the estate entrance (one of the en-
the ass to control, trances, anyway) and rang the buzzer. The door slid open to re-
cided it was male. veal a bulky Russian woman. Irina had been with the Landviks
since the dawn of time.
e port. Where else She stared at me wordlessly. I stared back.
an a typical Earth “Delivery,” I finally said. Irina and I had interacted a zillion
times in the past, but she made me state my business every time
ything. Just a but- I came to the door.
uld you do with it? She snorted, turned, and walked inside. That was my invita-
s a small town. No tion to enter.
ifting. But no one I made snide faces at her back while she led me through the
mansion’s foyer. She pointed down the hall and walked in the
opposite direction without saying a word.
“Always a pleasure, Irina!” I called after her.
Through the archway, I found Trond reclining on a sofa,
wearing sweats and a bathrobe. He chatted with an Asian man
eways of Shepard I’d never seen before.
borhood. The hall- “Anyway, the moneymaking potential is”—he saw me enter
d tasteful, noise- and flashed a wide smile—“Jazz! Always good to see you!”
twenty meters to Trond’s guest had an open box next to him. He smiled politely
expensive. We’ve and fumbled it closed. Of course, that just made me curious when
locally made. But I normally wouldn’t have given a shit.
“Good to see you too,” I said. I dropped the contraband on the
pensive, you don’t couch.
Bubble. Aldrin is Trond gestured to the guest. “This is Jin Chu from Hong
is where wealthy Kong. Jin, this is Jazz Bashara. She’s a local gal. Grew up right
here on the moon.”
chest richfucks in Jin bowed his head quickly, then spoke with an American
14 ANDY WEIR

accent. “Nice to meet you, Jazz.” It caught me off guard and I it sounds—remem
guess it showed. and picked up a w
Trond laughed. “Yeah, Jin here is a product of high-class coffee. You’ll love
American private schools. Hong Kong, man. It’s a magical might like it too.”
place.” “Coffee’s just a
“But not as magical as Artemis!” Jin beamed. “This is my hot drink worth h
first visit to the moon. I’m like a kid in a candy store! I’ve always “You Saudis do
been a fan of science fiction. I grew up watching Star Trek. Now Yes, technicall
I get to live it!” been there since I
“Star Trek?” Trond said. “Seriously? That’s like a hundred from Dad, but I wo
years old.” an Artemisian.
“Quality is quality,” Jin said. “Age is irrelevant. No one Trond got to w
bitches about Shakespeare fans.” it’ll be a minute.”
“Fair point. But there aren’t any hot alien babes to seduce know what the he
here. You can’t quite be Captain Kirk.” Jin rested his
“Actually”— Jin Chu held up a finger—“Kirk only had sex a popular romant
with three alien women in the entire classic series. And that here?”
number assumes he slept with Elaan of Troyius, which was im- “Not really,” I
plied but never made clear. So it might just be two.” couples trying to s
Trond bowed in supplication. “I will no longer challenge you He looked conf
on anything Star Trek–related. Are you going to the Apollo 11 “Gravity,” I sa
site while you’re here?” great for couples
“Absolutely,” Jin said. “I hear there are EVA tours. Should I rediscover sex tog
do one, you think?” “I never though
I piped in. “Nah. There’s an exclusion perimeter around the “Lots of prostit
whole site. The Viewing Hall in the Visitor Center gets you just “Oh! Uh, no. N
as close.” to recommend hoo
“Oh, I see. Guess there’s no point, then.” and I’ve never und
Suck it, Dale. ment. What’s the
“Anyone want tea or coffee?” Trond offered. I shrugged. “I
“Yeah, please,” Jin said. “Dark coffee if you have it.” thousand slugs.”
I slumped into a nearby chair. “Black tea for me.” “I won’t.” He
Trond vaulted over the back of the couch (not as exciting as “So . . . why is Art
 ARTEMIS 15

e off guard and I it sounds—remember the gravity here). He slid to the credenza
and picked up a wicker basket. “I just got some high-end Turkish
duct of high-class coffee. You’ll love it.” He craned his neck toward me. “Jazz, you
n. It’s a magical might like it too.”
“Coffee’s just a bad kind of tea,” I said. “Black tea is the only
med. “This is my hot drink worth having.”
store! I’ve always “You Saudis do love your black tea,” Trond said.
ng Star Trek. Now Yes, technically I’m a citizen of Saudi Arabia. But I haven’t
been there since I was six. I picked up a few attitudes and beliefs
’s like a hundred from Dad, but I wouldn’t fit in anywhere on Earth nowadays. I’m
an Artemisian.
relevant. No one Trond got to work on our drinks. “Talk amongst yourselves,
it’ll be a minute.” Why not have Irina do it? I don’t know. I don’t
n babes to seduce know what the hell she was for, honestly.
Jin rested his arm on the Mystery Box. “I hear Artemis is
Kirk only had sex a popular romantic destination. Are there a lot of newlyweds
series. And that here?”
us, which was im- “Not really,” I said. “They can’t afford it. But we do get older
two.” couples trying to spice things up in the bedroom.”
ger challenge you He looked confused.
g to the Apollo 11 “Gravity,” I said. “Sex is totally different in one-sixth G. It’s
great for couples who’ve been married a long time. They get to
VA tours. Should I rediscover sex together—it’s like new.”
“I never thought of that,” Jin said.
meter around the “Lots of prostitutes in Aldrin if you want to find out more.”
nter gets you just “Oh! Uh, no. Not my thing at all.” He hadn’t expected a woman
to recommend hookers. Earthers tend to be uptight on that topic,
and I’ve never understood why. It’s a service performed for a pay-
ment. What’s the big deal?
I shrugged. “If you change your mind, they run about two
have it.” thousand slugs.”
or me.” “I won’t.” He laughed nervously and changed the subject.
not as exciting as “So . . . why is Artemisian money called slugs?”
16 ANDY WEIR

I put my feet up on the coffee table. “It’s short for soft-landed or coffee can be. A
grams. S-L-G. Slug. One slug gets one gram of cargo delivered aren’t used to it.
from Earth to Artemis, courtesy of KSC.” Jin discreetly
“It’s technically not a currency,” Trond said from the cre- picking it up agai
denza. “We’re not a country; we can’t have a currency. Slugs are “What brings y
pre-purchased service credit from KSC. You pay dollars, euros, He drummed h
yen, whatever, and in exchange you get a mass allowance for ing on a business
shipment to Artemis. You don’t have to use it all at once, so they so I wanted to me
keep track of your balance.” Trond settled i
He carried the tray over to the coffee table. “It ended up being band. “I told you,
a handy unit for trade. So KSC is functioning as a bank. You’d “Trond it is,” J
never get away with that on Earth, but this isn’t Earth.” Trond tore the
Jin reached forward to get his coffee. As he did, I got a look dark wooden box.
at the box. It was white with stark black text that read zafo several angles. I’m
sample —authorized use only. it was a thing of b
“So this couch I’m on is an Earth import, right?” Jin said. and it had a taste
“How much did it cost to bring here?” “What have we
“That one weighs forty-three kilograms,” Trond said. “So it Trond flashed
cost forty-three thousand slugs to have it shipped.” four cigars, each i
“What does a typical person make?” asked Jin. “If you don’t can cigars. People
mind me asking, that is.” It’s all about the D
I grabbed my tea and let the cup’s warmth seep into my I smuggled a b
hands. “I make twelve thousand a month as a porter. It’s a low- to love regular cu
paying job.” He pointed to t
Jin sipped his coffee and made a face. I’ve seen it before. I headed to th
Earthers hate our coffee. Physics dictates that it tastes like shit. hind the finely ap
Earth’s air is 20 percent oxygen. The rest is stuff human bod- the handle shut. H
ies don’t need like nitrogen and argon. So Artemis’s air is pure If the bubble loses
oxygen at 20 percent Earth’s air pressure. That gives us the Some people are p
right amount of oxygen while minimizing pressure on the hulls. just in case. Wast
It’s not a new concept—it goes back to the Apollo days. Thing pressure loss in A
is, the lower the pressure, the lower the boiling point of water. “I have a spec
Water boils at 61 degrees Celsius here, so that’s as hot as tea “The smoke never
 ARTEMIS 17

ort for soft-landed or coffee can be. Apparently it’s disgustingly cold to people who
of cargo delivered aren’t used to it.
Jin discreetly put the cup back on the table. He wouldn’t be
aid from the cre- picking it up again.
urrency. Slugs are “What brings you to Artemis?” I asked.
pay dollars, euros, He drummed his fingers on the ZAFO box. “We’ve been work-
ass allowance for ing on a business deal for months. We’re finally closing the deal,
all at once, so they so I wanted to meet Mr. Landvik in person.”
Trond settled into his couch and picked up the box of contra-
“It ended up being band. “I told you, call me Trond.”
g as a bank. You’d “Trond it is,” Jin said.
n’t Earth.” Trond tore the wrapping off the package and pulled out a
e did, I got a look dark wooden box. He held it up to the light and looked at it from
xt that read zafo several angles. I’m not much for aesthetics, but even I could tell
it was a thing of beauty. Intricate etchings covered every surface
, right?” Jin said. and it had a tasteful label written in Spanish.
“What have we here?” Jin asked.
Trond said. “So it Trond flashed a shit-eating grin and opened the box. Twenty-
ped.” four cigars, each in its own paper holder, rested inside. “Domini-
Jin. “If you don’t can cigars. People think Cubans are the best, but they’re wrong.
It’s all about the Dominicans.”
mth seep into my I smuggled a box of those things in for him every month. Got
porter. It’s a low- to love regular customers.
He pointed to the door. “Jazz, would you mind closing that?”
ve seen it before. I headed to the doorway. A starkly functional hatch hid be-
it tastes like shit. hind the finely appointed wall panels. I slid it closed and spun
stuff human bod- the handle shut. Hatches are pretty common in upscale homes.
temis’s air is pure If the bubble loses pressure, you can seal your house and not die.
That gives us the Some people are paranoid enough to seal their bedrooms at night
sure on the hulls. just in case. Waste of money if you ask me. There’s never been a
pollo days. Thing pressure loss in Artemis’s history.
ng point of water. “I have a special air-filtration system in here,” Trond said.
at’s as hot as tea “The smoke never gets out of this room.”
18 ANDY WEIR

He unwrapped a cigar, bit the end off, and spit it into an ash- “Have a good o
tray. Then he put the cigar in his mouth and lit it with a gold I left the two m
lighter. He puffed several times and sighed. “Good stuff . . . good didn’t know what
stuff.” Trond did all sort
He held the box out toward Jin, who politely waved it away. he’d brought a guy
Then he offered it to me. way more interest
“Sure.” I grabbed one and slipped it into my breast pocket. I rounded the c
“I’ll smoke it after lunch.” a nasty look as I d
That was a lie. But why would I turn down something like the door behind m
that? I could probably get a hundred slugs for it. I was just abou
Jin furrowed his brow. “I’m sorry, but . . . cigars are contra- A porter job had j
band?” so the system offe
“Ridiculous, really,” said Trond. “I have a sealed room! My “PICKUP LOCATI
smoke doesn’t bother anyone! It’s injustice, I tell you!” UNSPECIFIED. PAYM
“Oh, you’re so full of shit.” I turned to Jin. “It’s fire. A fire in Wow. Four hun
Artemis would be a nightmare. It’s not like we can go outside. what I’d just made
Flammable materials are illegal unless there’s a really good rea- I accepted. I ha
son for them. The last thing we want is a bunch of idiots wander-
ing around with lighters.”
“Well . . . I guess there’s that.” Trond fiddled with his lighter.
I’d smuggled it in for him years ago. Every few months it needed
new butane. More money for me.
I took another swig of warm tea and pulled out my Gizmo.
“Trond?”
“Right, of course.” He pulled out his own Gizmo and held it
next to mine. “Still four thousand slugs?”
“Mm-hmm. But fair warning: I have to bump it to forty-five
hundred next time. Things got more expensive for me recently.”
“Not a problem,” he said. He typed while I waited. After a mo-
ment, my screen popped up the transfer verification. I accepted
and the transaction was complete.
“All good,” I said. I turned to Jin. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Jin.
Have fun while you’re here.”
“Thanks, I will!”
 ARTEMIS 19

spit it into an ash- “Have a good one, Jazz.” Trond smiled.

lit it with a gold I left the two men behind to do whatever they were up to. I
ood stuff . . . good didn’t know what it was, but it sure as hell wasn’t aboveboard.
Trond did all sorts of shady shit—that was why I liked him. If
ely waved it away. he’d brought a guy all the way to the moon, there was something
way more interesting going on than “a business deal.”
my breast pocket. I rounded the corner and left through the foyer. Irina gave me
a nasty look as I departed. I wrinkled my nose at her. She closed
wn something like the door behind me without saying goodbye.
it. I was just about to hop into Trigger when my Gizmo beeped.
cigars are contra- A porter job had just popped up. I had seniority and proximity,
so the system offered it to me first.
sealed room! My “PICKUP LOCATION: AG-5250. MASS: ~100KG. DROP- OFF LOCATION:
ell you!” UNSPECIFIED. PAYMENT: 452ğ.”
“It’s fire. A fire in Wow. Four hundred fifty-two whole slugs. Roughly a tenth of
we can go outside. what I’d just made from a box of cigars.
a really good rea- I accepted. I had to make money somehow.
h of idiots wander-

d with his lighter.

months it needed

ed out my Gizmo.

Gizmo and held it

mp it to forty-five
e for me recently.”
waited. After a mo-
cation. I accepted

meet you, Mr. Jin.

20 ANDY WEIR

for KSC gets free sch

grateful.

My mom stays at hom

Dear Kelvin Otieno,
Hi. My name’s Jasmine Bashara. People call me Jazz. I’m nine years old. I live in My favorite food is ho

Artemis. I love American TV s

Ms. Teller’s my teacher. She’s a good teacher even though she took away my even though my mom
Gizmo when I played with it during class. She gave us homework to send internet here so I wat
email to kids at the KSC complex in Kenya. She assigned me your address. What does your mom
Do you speak English? I can speak Arabic too. What do you speak in Kenya? What do you want to
I like American TV shows and my favorite food is ginger ice cream. But usu- now I make models o
ally I eat Gunk. I want to get a dog but we can’t afford one. I hear poor people very nice in my room
can have dogs on Earth. Is it true? Do you have a dog? If you have a dog want to be pilots for t
please tell me about your dog. Are you white? I hear e
Does Kenya have a king? here at the complex. T
My dad’s a welder. What does your dad do?

Dear Kelvin,
Dear Jazz Bashara, It’s too bad you don’t h
Hello. I am Kelvin and I am also nine. I live with my mom and dad. I have three ones, not models.
sisters. They’re jerks and the two older ones beat me up. But I’m getting bigger and Gunk is food for poo
someday I’ll beat them up. I’m just kidding, boys should never hit girls. it here in Artemis in
Kenyans speak English and Swahili. We do not have a king. We have a presi- gross. Flavor extracts
dent and a National Assembly and a Senate. Grown-ups vote for them and it taste gross in other
they make the laws. I’m not white. I’m Ara
My family doesn’t have a dog but we have two cats. One of them just comes are white. My mom li
around to eat, but the other one is very nice and sleeps on the couch all the don’t remember her.
time. Soap operas are lame
My dad is a security officer for KSC. He works at Gate 14 and he makes sure friends.
only people who are allowed to go in can go in. We live in assigned housing
in the complex and my school is in the complex too. Everyone who works
 ARTEMIS 21

for KSC gets free school for their kids. KSC is very generous and we are all
grateful.

My mom stays at home. She takes care of all of us kids. She is a good mother.

nine years old. I live in My favorite food is hot dogs. What’s Gunk? I’ve never heard of that.

I love American TV shows. Especially soap operas. They are very exciting
gh she took away my even though my mom doesn’t want me watching them. But we have good
s homework to send internet here so I watch when she’s not looking. Please do not tell her. Haha.
ned me your address. What does your mom do?
you speak in Kenya? What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to make rockets. Right
r ice cream. But usu- now I make models of rockets. I just finished a model of a KSC 209-B. It looks
ne. I hear poor people very nice in my room. I want to make real rockets someday. The other kids
g? If you have a dog want to be pilots for the rockets but I don’t want to do that.

Are you white? I hear everyone in Artemis is white. There are many white people
here at the complex. They come from all over the world to work here.

Dear Kelvin,
It’s too bad you don’t have a dog. I hope you get to make rockets someday. Real
and dad. I have three ones, not models.
t I’m getting bigger and Gunk is food for poor people. It’s dried algae and flavor extracts. They grow
er hit girls. it here in Artemis in vats because food from Earth is expensive. Gunk is
king. We have a presi- gross. Flavor extracts are supposed to make it taste good but they just make
ps vote for them and it taste gross in other ways. I have to eat it every day. I hate it.

I’m not white. I’m Arabic. Sort of light brown. Only about half the people here
e of them just comes are white. My mom lives on Earth somewhere. She left when I was a baby. I
s on the couch all the don’t remember her.

Soap operas are lame. But it’s okay for you to like lame stuff. We can still be
14 and he makes sure friends.
in assigned housing
Everyone who works
22 ANDY WEIR

Do you have a yard at your house? Can you go outside anytime you want?
I can’t go outside until I’m sixteen because those are the rules for EVAs.
Someday I’ll get my EVA license and go outside as much as I want and no
one can tell me no.
Building rockets sounds like a neat job. I hope you get that job.
I don’t want a job. When I grow up I want to be rich.

Armstrong sucks.
such a shitty part
The grinding t
walls as I guided
the heavy manuf
sound still carrie
parked just outsid
Life Support is
security protocols
door had a panel y
wasn’t on the appr
The pickup req
dred kilograms. N
breaking a sweat.
have six times the
Other than m
it was or where it
customer.
Artemis’s Life
travel. They don’t
they have the equ
if needed. But the
supply of oxygen f
Sanchez Alum