Anger makes it difficult to think clearly and communicate

effectively. When you’re wound up, try these tips to help put
you in a better frame of mind to explore and tackle what made
you so angry in the first place.

Recognise your anger signs and then count to 10

A fast heart rate and quick breaths can indicate that anger is rising.
Other signs include tension in the shoulders or clenching of the fists.
When you find yourself getting angry, take long, slow breaths, and
count to 10. This gives you a chance to think more clearly before
reacting out of anger. It also provides you with an opportunity
to remove yourself totally from the situation without drawing
attention to yourself.

Talk things over with someone you trust

Do you have a friend or family member who is a good listener? Talking
over how you feel can help you to let go of angry feelings. If anger is
getting in the way of your life, you might want to talk to your GP or
confide in a school counsellor. They can teach you ways to cope with
anger. Counselling can be especially helpful when difficult life events,

ANGER
in the past or present, are causing the anger.
WRITE IT OUT
HOW TO HANDLE Engage in physical activity
Anger can manifest itself as a tightness in the chest or throat. Exercise can ‘I can tell my therapist absolutely
help to ease this and to release angry feelings. Getting moving can be a anything,’ says Kathleen Adams, a
great way to let go of pent-up emotions, so think about going for a walk, journal writing teacher. ‘My therapist
dancing around your bedroom or practising some yoga. listens silently to my most sinister
darkness, my most bizarre fantasy,
How does anger feel to you? Like a hot fire raging in your belly, or an inner scream demanding Discover mindfulness my most cherished dream. And
to be heard? Everyone gets angry sometimes. It’s how you deal with it that’s important Mindfulness can teach you to watch your thoughts as a calm observer I can say all this in any way that I
rather than getting caught up in them, and acting them out. Practising want. I can scream, whimper, thrash,
regularly can help to prevent anger and make it easier to stay calm when wail, rage, exult, foam, celebrate. I
Hit the ceiling, blow up, have a meltdown – there are many If episodes of anger happen frequently it may be worth the feeling arises. can be funny, snide, introspective,
ways to describe the point when anger erupts. Feeling cross exploring what’s going on in your life. Is there a separate accusatory, sarcastic, helpless, brilliant,
is a regular emotion as well as a healthy one, because it feeling causing the anger? It might be stress about Do something fun or creative sentimental, cruel, profound, vulgar,
can highlight problems that need addressing. But there are schoolwork, or anxiety about a parent’s relationship. If What gives you a sense of joy? Meeting a friend, having a dance, drawing caustic, inspirational or opinionated.
also times when it can be tricky, especially when it involves you find yourself getting angry with lots of little things, it’s a picture or watching a comedy show? Doing things you love can be an My therapist accepts all of this without
hurting other people. It isn’t easy to take back spiteful possible there’s a bigger reason behind your frustration. effective way to shift your mood. comment, judgement or reprisal.’
words shouted in the heat of the moment, no matter how Simple factors such as what you eat and the amount of Kathleen’s therapist is her journal.

WORDS: KATE ORSON. ILLUSTRATIONS: FERN CHOONET

deeply and genuinely they’re regretted. sleep you get can make a difference to how easily you can Let go of angry thoughts When you write your feelings on the
So what’s to be done when that sudden urge to act out control your emotions. Eating sugar-loaded drinks and ‘Thoughts such as “it’s not fair” can make anger worse,’ says clinical page, you can say exactly what you
anger arises? Firstly, remember that your personal feelings sweets can produce an artificial ‘high’ that is followed by a psychologist and anger management specialist Isabel Clarke on feel without fear of judgement. First,
are important. You may feel a genuine sense of injustice low, when you’re more likely to feel irritable. Not sleeping government website nhs.co.uk. It also recommends trying not to use try to notice the thoughts in your
about being grounded by a parent, being given a detention enough can also make emotions go awry, so try to establish phrases that include: mind. Now write them all down – don’t
by a teacher or ignored by a friend. Anger can also be used a relaxing evening routine that makes it easier to nod off. stop to judge or criticise yourself – and
as a mask, a way of hiding vulnerable feelings of hurt, fear When anger is directed at a particular person, it can be a always – ‘You always do that.’ let your anger have free rein for 10 or
or grief. Try to work out the real reason you felt angry – good plan to wait a while before talking to them. You may never – ‘You never listen to me.’ 15 minutes. If you’re worried a sibling
maybe you thought you weren’t being listened to, were desperately want them to understand how you feel, but should or shouldn’t – ‘You should do what I want’ or or parent might read your writing, you
worried about not being good enough, or weren’t receiving anger can cloud what you want to say and transform justly ‘You shouldn’t be on the roads.’ could throw it away afterwards or keep
enough support. Talking it over with a friend can help. held opinions into words and sentences you don’t mean. must or mustn’t – ‘I must be on time,’ or ‘I mustn’t be late.’ it under lock and key.

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