9.

1 Understanding
How and Why We
Listen
Learning Objectives

1. Describe the stages of the listening process.

2. Discuss the four main types of listening.
3. Compare and contrast the four main listening styles.

Listening is the learned process of receiving, interpreting, recalling, evaluating, and responding
to verbal and nonverbal messages. We begin to engage with the listening process long before we
engage in any recognizable verbal or nonverbal communication. It is only after listening for
months as infants that we begin to consciously practice our own forms of expression. In this
section we will learn more about each stage of the listening process, the main types of listening,
and the main listening styles.

The Listening process

Listening is a process and as such doesn’t have a defined start and finish.
Like the communication process, listening has cognitive, behavioral, and
relational elements and doesn’t unfold in a linear, step-by-step fashion.
Models of processes are informative in that they help us visualize specific
components, but keep in mind that they do not capture the speed,
overlapping nature, or overall complexity of the actual process in action.
The stages of the listening process are receiving, interpreting, recalling,
evaluating, and responding.

Receiving
Before we can engage other steps in the listening process, we must take in
stimuli through our senses. In any given communication encounter, it is
likely that we will return to the receiving stage many times as we process
incoming feedback and new messages. This part of the listening process is
more physiological than other parts, which include cognitive and relational
elements. We primarily take in information needed for listening through
auditory and visual channels. Although we don’t often think about visual
cues as a part of listening, they influence how we interpret messages. For
example, seeing a person’s face when we hear their voice allows us to take
in nonverbal cues from facial expressions and eye contact. The fact that
these visual cues are missing in e-mail, text, and phone interactions
presents some difficulties for reading contextual clues into meaning
received through only auditory channels.
 The first stage of the listening process
is receiving stimuli through auditory and visual channels. Britt Reints –
LISTEN – CC BY 2.0.

Our chapter on perception discusses some of the ways in which incoming

stimuli are filtered. These perceptual filters also play a role in listening.
Some stimuli never make it in, some are filtered into subconsciousness, and
others are filtered into various levels of consciousness based on their
salience. Recall that salience is the degree to which something attracts our
attention in a particular context and that we tend to find salient things that
are visually or audibly stimulating and things that meet our needs or
interests. Think about how it’s much easier to listen to a lecture on a subject
that you find very interesting.

It is important to consider noise as a factor that influences how we receive

messages. Some noise interferes primarily with hearing, which is the
physical process of receiving stimuli through internal and external
components of the ears and eyes, and some interferes with listening, which
is the cognitive process of processing the stimuli taken in during hearing.
While hearing leads to listening, they are not the same thing.
Environmental noise such as other people talking, the sounds of traffic, and
music interfere with the physiological aspects of hearing. Psychological
noise like stress and anger interfere primarily with the cognitive processes
of listening. We can enhance our ability to receive, and in turn listen, by
trying to minimize noise.

Interpreting
During the interpreting stage of listening, we combine the visual and
auditory information we receive and try to make meaning out of that
information using schemata. The interpreting stage engages cognitive and
relational processing as we take in informational, contextual, and relational
cues and try to connect them in meaningful ways to previous experiences. It
is through the interpreting stage that we may begin to understand the
stimuli we have received. When we understand something, we are able to
attach meaning by connecting information to previous experiences.
Through the process of comparing new information with old information,
we may also update or revise particular schemata if we find the new
information relevant and credible. If we have difficulty interpreting
information, meaning we don’t have previous experience or information in
our existing schemata to make sense of it, then it is difficult to transfer the
information into our long-term memory for later recall. In situations where
understanding the information we receive isn’t important or isn’t a goal,
this stage may be fairly short or even skipped. After all, we can move
something to our long-term memory by repetition and then later recall it
without ever having understood it. I remember earning perfect scores on
exams in my anatomy class in college because I was able to memorize and
recall, for example, all the organs in the digestive system. In fact, I might
still be able to do that now over a decade later. But neither then nor now
could I tell you the significance or function of most of those organs,
meaning I didn’t really get to a level of understanding but simply stored the
information for later recall.

Recalling
Our ability to recall information is dependent on some of the physiological
limits of how memory works. Overall, our memories are known to be
fallible. We forget about half of what we hear immediately after hearing it,
recall 35 percent after eight hours, and recall 20 percent after a day
(Hargie, 2011). Our memory consists of multiple “storage units,” including
sensory storage, short-term memory, working memory, and long-term
memory (Hargie, 2011).

Our sensory storage is very large in terms of capacity but limited in terms of
length of storage. We can hold large amounts of unsorted visual
information but only for about a tenth of a second. By comparison, we can
hold large amounts of unsorted auditory information for longer—up to four
seconds. This initial memory storage unit doesn’t provide much use for our
study of communication, as these large but quickly expiring chunks of
sensory data are primarily used in reactionary and instinctual ways.

As stimuli are organized and interpreted, they make their way to short-term
memory where they either expire and are forgotten or are transferred to
long-term memory. Short-term memory is a mental storage capability that
can retain stimuli for twenty seconds to one minute. Long-term memory is
a mental storage capability to which stimuli in short-term memory can be
transferred if they are connected to existing schema and in which
information can be stored indefinitely (Hargie, 2011). Working memory is a
temporarily accessed memory storage space that is activated during times
of high cognitive demand. When using working memory, we can
temporarily store information and process and use it at the same time. This
is different from our typical memory function in that information usually
has to make it to long-term memory before we can call it back up to apply to
a current situation. People with good working memories are able to keep
recent information in mind and process it and apply it to other incoming
information. This can be very useful during high-stress situations. A person
in control of a command center like the White House Situation Room
should have a good working memory in order to take in, organize, evaluate,
and then immediately use new information instead of having to wait for
that information to make it to long-term memory and then be retrieved and
used.

Although recall is an important part of the listening process, there isn’t a

direct correlation between being good at recalling information and being a
good listener. Some people have excellent memories and recall abilities and
can tell you a very accurate story from many years earlier during a situation
in which they should actually be listening and not showing off their recall
abilities. Recall is an important part of the listening process because it is
most often used to assess listening abilities and effectiveness. Many quizzes
and tests in school are based on recall and are often used to assess how well
students comprehended information presented in class, which is seen as an
indication of how well they listened. When recall is our only goal, we excel
at it. Experiments have found that people can memorize and later recall a
set of faces and names with near 100 percent recall when sitting in a quiet
lab and asked to do so. But throw in external noise, more visual stimuli, and
multiple contextual influences, and we can’t remember the name of the
person we were just introduced to one minute earlier. Even in interpersonal
encounters, we rely on recall to test whether or not someone was listening.
Imagine that Azam is talking to his friend Belle, who is sitting across from
him in a restaurant booth. Azam, annoyed that Belle keeps checking her
phone, stops and asks, “Are you listening?” Belle inevitably replies, “Yes,”
since we rarely fess up to our poor listening habits, and Azam replies, “Well,
what did I just say?”

Evaluating
When we evaluate something, we make judgments about its credibility,
completeness, and worth. In terms of credibility, we try to determine the
degree to which we believe a speaker’s statements are correct and/or true.
In terms of completeness, we try to “read between the lines” and evaluate
the message in relation to what we know about the topic or situation being
discussed. We evaluate the worth of a message by making a value judgment
about whether we think the message or idea is good/bad, right/wrong, or
desirable/undesirable. All these aspects of evaluating require critical
thinking skills, which we aren’t born with but must develop over time
through our own personal and intellectual development.

Studying communication is a great way to build your critical thinking skills,

because you learn much more about the taken-for-granted aspects of how
communication works, which gives you tools to analyze and critique
messages, senders, and contexts. Critical thinking and listening skills also
help you take a more proactive role in the communication process rather
than being a passive receiver of messages that may not be credible,
complete, or worthwhile. One danger within the evaluation stage of
listening is to focus your evaluative lenses more on the speaker than the
message. This can quickly become a barrier to effective listening if we begin
to prejudge a speaker based on his or her identity or characteristics rather
than on the content of his or her message. We will learn more about how to
avoid slipping into a person-centered rather than message-centered
evaluative stance later in the chapter.

Responding
Responding entails sending verbal and nonverbal messages that indicate
attentiveness and understanding or a lack thereof. From our earlier
discussion of the communication model, you may be able to connect this
part of the listening process to feedback. Later, we will learn more specifics
about how to encode and decode the verbal and nonverbal cues sent during
the responding stage, but we all know from experience some signs that
indicate whether a person is paying attention and understanding a message
or not.

We send verbal and nonverbal feedback while another person is talking and
after they are done. Back-channel cues are the verbal and nonverbal signals
we send while someone is talking and can consist of verbal cues like
“uh-huh,” “oh,” and “right,” and/or nonverbal cues like direct eye contact,
head nods, and leaning forward. Back-channel cues are generally a form of
positive feedback that indicates others are actively listening. People also
send cues intentionally and unintentionally that indicate they aren’t
listening. If another person is looking away, fidgeting, texting, or turned
away, we will likely interpret those responses negatively.
 Listeners
respond to speakers nonverbally during a message using back-channel cues and
verbally after a message using paraphrasing and clarifying questions. Duane
Storey – Listening – CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

Paraphrasing is a responding behavior that can also show that you

understand what was communicated. When you paraphrase information,
you rephrase the message into your own words. For example, you might say
the following to start off a paraphrased response: “What I heard you say
was…” or “It seems like you’re saying…” You can also ask clarifying
questions to get more information. It is often a good idea to pair a
paraphrase with a question to keep a conversation flowing. For example,
you might pose the following paraphrase and question pair: “It seems like
you believe you were treated unfairly. Is that right?” Or you might ask a
standalone question like “What did your boss do that made you think he
was ‘playing favorites?’” Make sure to paraphrase and/or ask questions
once a person’s turn is over, because interrupting can also be interpreted as
a sign of not listening. Paraphrasing is also a good tool to use in
computer-mediated communication, especially since miscommunication
can occur due to a lack of nonverbal and other contextual cues.

Listening Types
Listening serves many purposes, and different situations require different
types of listening. The type of listening we engage in affects our
communication and how others respond to us. For example, when we listen
to empathize with others, our communication will likely be supportive and
open, which will then lead the other person to feel “heard” and supported
and hopefully view the interaction positively (Bodie & Villaume, 2003). The
main types of listening we will discuss are discriminative, informational,
critical, and empathetic (Watson, Barker, & Weaver III, 1995).

Discriminative Listening
Discriminative listening is a focused and usually instrumental type of
listening that is primarily physiological and occurs mostly at the receiving
stage of the listening process. Here we engage in listening to scan and
monitor our surroundings in order to isolate particular auditory or visual
stimuli. For example, we may focus our listening on a dark part of the yard
while walking the dog at night to determine if the noise we just heard
presents us with any danger. Or we may look for a particular nonverbal cue
to let us know our conversational partner received our message (Hargie,
2011). In the absence of a hearing impairment, we have an innate and
physiological ability to engage in discriminative listening. Although this is
the most basic form of listening, it provides the foundation on which more
intentional listening skills are built. This type of listening can be refined
and honed. Think of how musicians, singers, and mechanics exercise
specialized discriminative listening to isolate specific aural stimuli and how
actors, detectives, and sculptors discriminate visual cues that allow them to
analyze, make meaning from, or recreate nuanced behavior (Wolvin &
Coakley, 1993).

Informational Listening
Informational listening entails listening with the goal of comprehending
and retaining information. This type of listening is not evaluative and is
common in teaching and learning contexts ranging from a student listening
to an informative speech to an out-of-towner listening to directions to the
nearest gas station. We also use informational listening when we listen to
news reports, voice mail, and briefings at work. Since retention and recall
are important components of informational listening, good concentration
and memory skills are key. These also happen to be skills that many college
students struggle with, at least in the first years of college, but will be
expected to have mastered once they get into professional contexts. In
many professional contexts, informational listening is important, especially
when receiving instructions. I caution my students that they will be
expected to process verbal instructions more frequently in their profession
than they are in college. Most college professors provide detailed
instructions and handouts with assignments so students can review them as
needed, but many supervisors and managers will expect you to take the
initiative to remember or record vital information. Additionally, many
bosses are not as open to questions or requests to repeat themselves as
professors are.
 Critical Listening
Critical listening entails listening with the goal of analyzing or evaluating a
message based on information presented verbally and information that can
be inferred from context. A critical listener evaluates a message and accepts
it, rejects it, or decides to withhold judgment and seek more information.
As constant consumers of messages, we need to be able to assess the
credibility of speakers and their messages and identify various persuasive
appeals and faulty logic (known as fallacies). Critical listening is important
during persuasive exchanges, but I recommend always employing some
degree of critical listening, because you may find yourself in a persuasive
interaction that you thought was informative. As is noted in Chapter 8:
“Nonverbal Communication”, people often disguise inferences as facts.
Critical-listening skills are useful when listening to a persuasive speech in
this class and when processing any of the persuasive media messages we
receive daily. You can see judges employ critical listening, with varying
degrees of competence, on talent competition shows like Rupaul’s Drag
Race, America’s Got Talent, and The Voice. While the exchanges between
judge and contestant on these shows is expected to be subjective and
critical, critical listening is also important when listening to speakers that
have stated or implied objectivity, such as parents, teachers, political
leaders, doctors, and religious leaders. We will learn more about how to
improve your critical thinking skills later in this chapter.

Empathetic Listening
Empathetic listening is the most challenging form of listening and occurs
when we try to understand or experience what a speaker is thinking or
feeling. Empathetic listening is distinct from sympathetic listening. While
the word empathy means to “feel into” or “feel with” another person,
sympathy means to “feel for” someone. Sympathy is generally more
self-oriented and distant than empathy (Bruneau, 1993). Empathetic
listening is other oriented and should be genuine. Because of our own
centrality in our perceptual world, empathetic listening can be difficult. It’s
often much easier for us to tell our own story or to give advice than it is to
really listen to and empathize with someone else. We should keep in mind
that sometimes others just need to be heard and our feedback isn’t actually
desired.

We support others through empathetic listening by trying to “feel with” them.

Stewart Black – Comfort – CC BY 2.0.
Empathetic listening is key for dialogue and helps maintain interpersonal
relationships. In order to reach dialogue, people must have a degree of
open-mindedness and a commitment to civility that allows them to be
empathetic while still allowing them to believe in and advocate for their
own position. An excellent example of critical and empathetic listening in
action is the international Truth and Reconciliation movement. The most
well-known example of a Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC)
occurred in South Africa as a way to address the various conflicts that
occurred during apartheid (Department of Justice and Constitutional
Development, 2012). The first TRC in the United States occurred in
Greensboro, North Carolina, as a means of processing the events and
aftermath of November 3, 1979, when members of the Ku Klux Klan shot
and killed five members of the Communist Worker’s Party during a daytime
confrontation witnessed by news crews and many bystanders. The goal of
such commissions is to allow people to tell their stories, share their
perspectives in an open environment, and be listened to. The Greensboro
TRC states its purpose as such: “About,” Greensboro Truth and
Reconciliation Commission website, accessed July 11, 2023,
http://www.greensborotrc.org/truth_reconciliation.php. Another
interesting example of empathetic listening comes from Canada, where the
government engaged in a similar Truth and Reconciliation process over
their history with placing Indigenous peoples in the residential school
system and the colonial harm that was done: “About the Truth and
Reconciliation Commission,” Truth and Reconciliation Commission of
Canada website, accessed July 11, 2023,
https://www.rcaanc-cirnac.gc.ca/eng/1450124405592/1529106060525.
 Listening Styles

Just as there are different types of listening, there are also different styles of
listening. People may be categorized as one or more of the following
listeners: people-oriented, action-oriented, content-oriented, and
time-oriented listeners. Research finds that 40 percent of people have more
than one preferred listening style, and that they choose a style based on the
listening situation (Bodie & Villaume, 2003). Other research finds that
people often still revert back to a single preferred style in times of
emotional or cognitive stress, even if they know a different style of listening
would be better (Worthington, 2003). Following a brief overview of each
listening style, we will explore some of their applications, strengths, and
weaknesses.
● People-oriented listeners are concerned about the needs and feelings
of others and may get distracted from a specific task or the content of
a message in order to address feelings.
● Action-oriented listeners prefer well-organized, precise, and accurate
information. They can become frustrated with they perceive
communication to be unorganized or inconsistent, or a speaker to be
“long-winded.”
● Content-oriented listeners are analytic and enjoy processing complex
messages. They like in-depth information and like to learn about
multiple sides of a topic or hear multiple perspectives on an issue.
Their thoroughness can be difficult to manage if there are time
constraints.
● Time-oriented listeners are concerned with completing tasks and
achieving goals. They do not like information perceived as irrelevant
 and like to stick to a timeline. They may cut people off and make
quick decisions (taking short cuts or cutting corners) when they think
they have enough information.

People-Oriented Listeners
People-oriented listeners are concerned about the emotional states of
others and listen with the purpose of offering support in interpersonal
relationships. People-oriented listeners can be characterized as
“supporters” who are caring and understanding. These listeners are sought
out because they are known as people who will “lend an ear.” They may or
may not be valued for the advice they give, but all people often want is a
good listener. This type of listening may be especially valuable in
interpersonal communication involving emotional exchanges, as a
person-oriented listener can create a space where people can make
themselves vulnerable without fear of being cut off or judged.
People-oriented listeners are likely skilled empathetic listeners and may
find success in supportive fields like counseling, social work, or nursing.
Interestingly, such fields are typically feminized, in that people often
associate the characteristics of people-oriented listeners with roles filled by
women.

Action-Oriented Listeners
Action-oriented listeners focus on what action needs to take place in
regards to a received message and try to formulate an organized way to
initiate that action. These listeners are frustrated by disorganization,
because it detracts from the possibility of actually doing something.
Action-oriented listeners can be thought of as “builders”—like an engineer,
a construction site foreperson, or a skilled project manager. This style of
listening can be very effective when a task needs to be completed under
time, budgetary, or other logistical constraints. One research study found
that people prefer an action-oriented style of listening in instructional
contexts (Imhof, 2004). In other situations, such as interpersonal
communication, action-oriented listeners may not actually be very
interested in listening, instead taking a “What do you want me to do?”
approach. A friend and colleague of mine who exhibits some qualities of an
action-oriented listener once told me about an encounter she had with a
close friend who had a stillborn baby. My friend said she immediately went
into “action mode.” Although it was difficult for her to connect with her
friend at an emotional/empathetic level, she was able to use her
action-oriented approach to help out in other ways as she helped make
funeral arrangements, coordinated with other family and friends, and
handled the details that accompanied this tragic emotional experience. As
you can see from this example, the action-oriented listening style often
contrasts with the people-oriented listening style.

Content-Oriented Listeners
Content-oriented listeners like to listen to complex information and
evaluate the content of a message, often from multiple perspectives, before
drawing conclusions. These listeners can be thought of as “learners,” and
they also ask questions to solicit more information to fill out their
understanding of an issue. Content-oriented listeners often enjoy high
perceived credibility because of their thorough, balanced, and objective
approach to engaging with information. Content-oriented listeners are
likely skilled informational and critical listeners and may find success in
academic careers in the humanities, social sciences, or sciences. Ideally,
judges and politicians would also possess these characteristics.

Time-Oriented Listeners
Time-oriented listeners are more concerned about time limits and timelines
than they are with the content or senders of a message. These listeners can
be thought of as “executives,” and they tend to actually verbalize the time
constraints under which they are operating.

For example, a time-oriented supervisor may say the following to an

employee who has just entered his office and asked to talk: “Sure, I can talk,
but I only have about five minutes.”

Time-oriented listeners listen on a

schedule, often giving people limits on their availability by saying, for example,
“I only have about five minutes.” JD Lasica – Business call – CC BY-NC 2.0.

These listeners may also exhibit nonverbal cues that indicate time and/or
attention shortages, such as looking at a clock, avoiding eye contact, or
nonverbally trying to close down an interaction. Time-oriented listeners are
also more likely to interrupt others, which may make them seem insensitive
to emotional/personal needs. People often get action-oriented and
time-oriented listeners confused. Action-oriented listeners would be happy
to get to a conclusion or decision quickly if they perceive that they are
acting on well-organized and accurate information. They would, however,
not mind taking longer to reach a conclusion when dealing with a complex
topic, and they would delay making a decision if the information presented
to them didn’t meet their standards of organization. Unlike time-oriented
listeners, action-oriented listeners are not as likely to cut people off
(especially if people are presenting relevant information) and are not as
likely to take short cuts.

Key Takeaways

● Getting integrated: Listening is a learned process and skill that we can improve on with
concerted effort. Improving our listening skills can benefit us in academic,
professional, personal, and civic contexts.
● Listening is the process of receiving, interpreting, recalling, evaluating, and responding
to verbal and nonverbal messages. In the receiving stage, we select and attend to
various stimuli based on salience. We then interpret auditory and visual stimuli in
order to make meaning out of them based on our existing schemata. Short-term and
long-term memory store stimuli until they are discarded or processed for later recall.
We then evaluate the credibility, completeness, and worth of a message before
responding with verbal and nonverbal signals.
● Discriminative listening is the most basic form of listening, and we use it to distinguish
between and focus on specific sounds. We use informational listening to try to
comprehend and retain information. Through critical listening, we analyze and
evaluate messages at various levels. We use empathetic listening to try to understand
or experience what a speaker is feeling.
● People-oriented listeners are concerned with others’ needs and feelings, which may
distract from a task or the content of a message. Action-oriented listeners prefer
 listening to well-organized and precise information and are more concerned about
solving an issue than they are about supporting the speaker. Content-oriented listeners
enjoy processing complicated information and are typically viewed as credible because
they view an issue from multiple perspectives before making a decision. Although
content-oriented listeners may not be very effective in situations with time constraints,
time-oriented listeners are fixated on time limits and listen in limited segments
regardless of the complexity of the information or the emotions involved, which can
make them appear cold and distant to some.

Exercises

1. The recalling stage of the listening process is a place where many people experience
difficulties. What techniques do you use or could you use to improve your recall of
certain information such as people’s names, key concepts from your classes, or
instructions or directions given verbally?
2. Getting integrated: Identify how critical listening might be useful for you in each of
the following contexts: academic, professional, personal, and civic.
3. Listening scholars have noted that empathetic listening is the most difficult type of
listening. Do you agree? Why or why not?
4. Which style of listening best describes you and why? Which style do you have the
most difficulty with or like the least and why?

9.3 Improving
Listening Skills
 Learning Objectives

1. Summarize the characteristics of active listening.

2. Apply critical-listening skills in interpersonal, educational, and mediated contexts.
3. Practice empathetic listening skills.
4. Discuss ways to improve listening competence in relational, professional, and cultural
contexts.

Many people admit that they could stand to improve their listening skills. This section will help
us do that. In this section, we will define active listening and the behaviors that go along with it.
Looking back to the types of listening discussed earlier, we will learn specific strategies for
sharpening our critical and empathetic listening skills. In keeping with our focus on integrative
learning, we will also apply the skills we have learned in academic, professional, and relational
contexts and explore how culture and gender affect listening.

Active Listening
Active listening refers to the process of pairing outwardly visible positive
listening behaviors with positive cognitive listening practices. Active
listening can help address many of the environmental, physical, cognitive,
and personal barriers to effective listening that we discussed earlier. The
behaviors associated with active listening can also enhance informational,
critical, and empathetic listening.

Active Listening Can Help Overcome Barriers

to Effective Listening
Being an active listener starts before you actually start receiving a message.
Active listeners make strategic choices and take action in order to set up
ideal listening conditions. Physical and environmental noises can often be
managed by moving locations or by manipulating the lighting, temperature,
or furniture. When possible, avoid important listening activities during
times of distracting psychological or physiological noise. For example, we
often know when we’re going to be hungry, full, more awake, less awake,
more anxious, or less anxious, and advance planning can alleviate the
presence of these barriers. For college students, who often have some
flexibility in their class schedules, knowing when you best listen can help
you make strategic choices regarding what class to take when. And student
options are increasing, as some colleges are offering classes in the overnight
hours to accommodate working students and students who are just “night
owls” (Toppo, 2011). Of course, we don’t always have control over our
schedule, in which case we will need to utilize other effective listening
strategies that we will learn more about later in this chapter.

In terms of cognitive barriers to effective listening, we can prime ourselves

to listen by analyzing a listening situation before it begins. For example, you
could ask yourself the following questions:
1. “What are my goals for listening to this message?”
2. “How does this message relate to me / affect my life?”
3. “What listening type and style are most appropriate for this
message?”

As we learned earlier, the difference between speech and thought

processing rate means listeners’ level of attention varies while receiving a
message. Effective listeners must work to maintain focus as much as
possible and refocus when attention shifts or fades (Wolvin & Coakley,
1993). One way to do this is to find the motivation to listen. If you can
identify intrinsic and or extrinsic motivations for listening to a particular
message, then you will be more likely to remember the information
presented. Ask yourself how a message could impact your life, your career,
your intellect, or your relationships. This can help overcome our tendency
toward selective attention. As senders of messages, we can help listeners by
making the relevance of what we’re saying clear and offering well-organized
messages that are tailored for our listeners. We will learn much more about
establishing relevance, organizing a message, and gaining the attention of
an audience in public speaking contexts later in the book.

Given that we can process more words per minute than people can speak,
we can engage in internal dialogue, making good use of our intrapersonal
communication, to become a better listener. Three possibilities for internal
dialogue include covert coaching, self-reinforcement, and covert
questioning; explanations and examples of each follow (Hargie, 2011):
● Covert coaching involves sending yourself messages containing advice
about better listening, such as “You’re getting distracted by things you
have to do after work. Just focus on what your supervisor is saying
now.”
● Self-reinforcement involves sending yourself affirmative and positive
messages: “You’re being a good active listener. This will help you do
well on the next exam.”
● Covert questioning involves asking yourself questions about the
content in ways that focus your attention and reinforce the material:
“What is the main idea from that PowerPoint slide?” “Why is he
talking about his brother in front of our neighbors?”

Internal dialogue is a more structured way to engage in active listening, but

we can use more general approaches as well. I suggest that students occupy
the “extra” channels in their mind with thoughts that are related to the
primary message being received instead of thoughts that are unrelated. We
can use those channels to resort, rephrase, and repeat what a speaker says.
When we resort, we can help mentally repair disorganized messages. When
we rephrase, we can put messages into our own words in ways that better fit
our cognitive preferences. When we repeat, we can help messages transfer
from short-term to long-term memory.

Other tools can help with concentration and memory. Mental bracketing
refers to the process of intentionally separating out intrusive or irrelevant
thoughts that may distract you from listening (McCornack, 2007). This
requires that we monitor our concentration and attention and be prepared
to let thoughts that aren’t related to a speaker’s message pass through our
minds without us giving them much attention. Mnemonic devices are
techniques that can aid in information recall (Hargie 2011). Starting in
ancient Greece and Rome, educators used these devices to help people
remember information. They work by imposing order and organization on
information. Three main mnemonic devices are acronyms, rhymes, and
visualization, and examples of each follow:
● Acronyms. HOMES—to help remember the Great Lakes (Huron,
Ontario, Michigan, Erie, and Superior).
● Rhyme. “Righty tighty, lefty loosey”—to remember which way most
light bulbs, screws, and other coupling devices turn to make them go
in or out.
● Visualization. Imagine seeing a glass of port wine (which is red) and
the red navigation light on a boat to help remember that the red light
on a boat is always on the port side, which will also help you
remember that the blue light must be on the starboard side.
 Active Listening Behaviors
From the suggestions discussed previously, you can see that we can prepare
for active listening in advance and engage in certain cognitive strategies to
help us listen better. We also engage in active listening behaviors as we
receive and process messages.

Eye contact is a key sign of active listening. Speakers usually interpret a

listener’s eye contact as a signal of attentiveness. While a lack of eye contact
may indicate inattentiveness, it can also signal cognitive processing. When
we look away to process new information, we usually do it unconsciously.
Be aware, however, that your conversational partner may interpret this as
not listening. If you really do need to take a moment to think about
something, you could indicate that to the other person by saying, “That’s
new information to me. Give me just a second to think through it.” We
already learned the role that back-channel cues play in listening. An
occasional head nod and “uh-huh” signal that you are paying attention.
However, when we give these cues as a form of “autopilot” listening, others
can usually tell that we are pseudo-listening, and whether they call us on it
or not, that impression could lead to negative judgments.

A more direct way to indicate active listening is to reference previous

statements made by the speaker. Norms of politeness usually call on us to
reference a past statement or connect to the speaker’s current thought
before starting a conversational turn. Being able to summarize what
someone said to ensure that the topic has been satisfactorily covered and
understood or being able to segue in such a way that validates what the
previous speaker said helps regulate conversational flow. Asking probing
questions is another way to directly indicate listening and to keep a
conversation going, since they encourage and invite a person to speak more.
You can also ask questions that seek clarification and not just elaboration.
Speakers should present complex information at a slower speaking rate
than familiar information, but many will not. Remember that your
nonverbal feedback can be useful for a speaker, as it signals that you are
listening but also whether or not you understand. If a speaker fails to read
your nonverbal feedback, you may need to follow up with verbal
communication in the form of paraphrased messages and clarifying
questions.

As active listeners, we want to be excited and engaged, but don’t let

excitement manifest itself in interruptions. Being an active listener means
knowing when to maintain our role as listener and resist the urge to take a
conversational turn. Research shows that people with higher social status
are more likely to interrupt others, so keep this in mind and be prepared for
it if you are speaking to a high-status person, or try to resist it if you are the
high-status person in an interaction (Hargie, 2011).

Good note-taking skills allow listeners

to stay engaged with a message and aid in recall of information. Steven Lilley –
Note taking – CC BY-SA 2.0.
Note-taking can also indicate active listening. Translating information
through writing into our own cognitive structures and schemata allows us
to better interpret and assimilate information. Of course, note-taking isn’t
always a viable option. It would be fairly awkward to take notes during a
first date or a casual exchange between new coworkers. But in some
situations where we wouldn’t normally consider taking notes, a little
awkwardness might be worth it for the sake of understanding and recalling
the information.

In summary, active listening is exhibited through verbal and nonverbal

cues, including steady eye contact with the speaker; smiling; slightly raised
eyebrows; upright posture; body position that is leaned in toward the
speaker; nonverbal back-channel cues such as head nods; verbal
back-channel cues such as “OK,” “mmhum,” or “oh”; and a lack of
distracting mannerisms like doodling or fidgeting (Hargie, 2011).

Becoming a Better Critical Listener

Critical listening involves evaluating the credibility, completeness, and
worth of a speaker’s message. Some listening scholars note that critical
listening represents the deepest level of listening (Floyd, 1985). Critical
listening is also important in a democracy that values free speech. The US
Constitution grants US citizens the right to free speech, and many people
duly protect that right for you and me. Since people can say just about
anything they want, we are surrounded by countless messages that vary
tremendously in terms of their value, degree of ethics, accuracy, and
quality. Therefore it falls on us to responsibly and critically evaluate the
messages we receive. Some messages are produced by people who are
intentionally misleading, ill informed, or motivated by the potential for
personal gain, but such messages can be received as honest, credible, or
altruistic even though they aren’t. Being able to critically evaluate messages
helps us have more control over and awareness of the influence such people
may have on us. In order to critically evaluate messages, we must enhance
our critical-listening skills.

Some critical-listening skills include distinguishing between facts and

inferences, evaluating supporting evidence, discovering your own biases,
and listening beyond the message. Chapter 7: “Verbal Communication”
noted that part of being an ethical communicator is being accountable for
what we say by distinguishing between facts and inferences (Hayakawa &
Hayakawa, 1990). This is an ideal that is not always met in practice, so a
critical listener should also make these distinctions, since the speaker may
not. Since facts are widely agreed-on conclusions, they can be verified as
such through some extra research. Take care in your research to note the
context from which the fact emerged, as speakers may take a statistic or
quote out of context, distorting its meaning. Inferences are not as easy to
evaluate, because they are based on unverifiable thoughts of a speaker or on
speculation. Inferences are usually based at least partially on something
that is known, so it is possible to evaluate whether an inference was made
carefully or not. In this sense, you may evaluate an inference based on
several known facts as more credible than an inference based on one fact
and more speculation. Asking a question like “What led you to think this?”
is a good way to get information needed to evaluate the strength of an
inference.
Distinguishing among facts and inferences and evaluating the credibility of
supporting material are critical-listening skills that also require good
informational-listening skills. In more formal speaking situations, speakers
may cite published or publicly available sources to support their messages.
When speakers verbally cite their sources, you can use the credibility of the
source to help evaluate the credibility of the speaker’s message. For
example, a national newspaper would likely be more credible on a major
national event than a tabloid magazine or an anonymous blog. In regular
interactions, people also have sources for their information but are not as
likely to note them within their message. Asking questions like “Where’d
you hear that?” or “How do you know that?” can help get information
needed to make critical evaluations.

Discovering your own biases can help you recognize when they interfere
with your ability to fully process a message. Unfortunately, most people
aren’t asked to critically reflect on their identities and their perspectives
unless they are in college, and even people who were once critically
reflective in college or elsewhere may no longer be so. Biases are also
difficult to discover, because we don’t see them as biases; we see them as
normal or “the way things are.” Asking yourself “What led you to think
this?” and “How do you know that?” can be a good start toward
acknowledging your biases. We will learned more about self-reflection and
critical thinking in Chapter 4: “Culture and Communication.”

Last, to be a better critical listener, think beyond the message. A good

critical listener asks the following questions: What is being said and what is
not being said? In whose interests are these claims being made? Whose
voices/ideas are included and excluded? These questions take into account
that speakers intentionally and unintentionally slant, edit, or twist
messages to make them fit particular perspectives or for personal gain. Also
ask yourself questions like “What are the speaker’s goals?” You can also
rephrase that question and direct it toward the speaker, asking them, “What
is your goal in this interaction?” When you feel yourself nearing an
evaluation or conclusion, pause and ask yourself what influenced you.
Although we like to think that we are most often persuaded through logical
evidence and reasoning, we are susceptible to persuasive shortcuts that rely
on the credibility or likability of a speaker or on our emotions rather than
the strength of his or her evidence (Petty & Cacioppo, 1984). So keep a
check on your emotional involvement to be aware of how it may be
influencing your evaluation. Also, be aware that how likable, attractive, or
friendly you think a person is may also lead you to more positively evaluate
his or her messages.

Other Tips to Help You Become a Better Critical Listener

● Ask questions to help get more information and increase your critical
awareness when you get answers like “Because that’s the way things
are,” “It’s always been like that,” “I don’t know; I just don’t like it,”
“Everyone believes that,” or “It’s just natural/normal.” These are not
really answers that are useful in your critical evaluation and may be
an indication that speakers don’t really know why they reached the
conclusion they did or that they reached it without much critical
thinking on their part.
● Be especially critical of speakers who set up “either/or” options,
because they artificially limit an issue or situation to two options
when there are always more. Also be aware of people who
 overgeneralize, especially when those generalizations are based on
stereotypical or prejudiced views. For example, the world is not just
Republican or Democrat, male or female, pro-life or pro-choice, or
Christian or atheist.
● Evaluate the speaker’s message instead of his or her appearance,
personality, or other characteristics. Unless someone’s appearance,
personality, or behavior is relevant to an interaction, direct your
criticism to the message.
● Be aware that critical evaluation isn’t always quick or easy.
Sometimes you may have to withhold judgment because your
evaluation will take more time. Also keep in mind your evaluation
may not be final, and you should be open to critical reflection and
possible revision later.
● Avoid mind reading, which is assuming you know what the other
person is going to say or that you know why they reached the
conclusion they did. This leads to jumping to conclusions, which
shortcuts the critical evaluation process.

Becoming a Better Empathetic Listener

A prominent scholar of empathetic listening describes it this way:
“Empathetic listening is to be respectful of the dignity of others. Empathetic
listening is a caring, a love of the wisdom to be found in others whoever
they may be” (Bruneau, 1993). This quote conveys that empathetic listening
is more philosophical than the other types of listening. It requires that we
are open to subjectivity and that we engage in it because we genuinely see it
as worthwhile.
Combining active and empathetic listening leads to active-empathetic
listening. During active-empathetic listening a listener becomes actively
and emotionally involved in an interaction in such a way that it is conscious
on the part of the listener and perceived by the speaker (Bodie, 2011). To be
a better empathetic listener, we need to suspend or at least attempt to
suppress our judgment of the other person or their message so we can fully
attend to both. Paraphrasing is an important part of empathetic listening,
because it helps us put the other person’s words into our frame of
experience without making it about us. In addition, speaking the words of
someone else in our own way can help evoke within us the feelings that the
other person felt while saying them (Bodie, 2011). Active-empathetic
listening is more than echoing back verbal messages. We can also engage in
mirroring, which refers to a listener’s replication of the nonverbal signals of
a speaker (Bruneau, 1993). Therapists, for example, are often taught to
adopt a posture and tone similar to their patients in order to build rapport
and project empathy.

Paraphrasing and questioning are useful techniques for empathetic

listening because they allow us to respond to a speaker without taking “the
floor,” or the attention, away for long. Specifically, questions that ask for
elaboration act as “verbal door openers,” and inviting someone to speak
more and then validating their speech through active listening cues can
help a person feel “listened to” (Hargie, 2011).
 Empathetic listeners should not steal
the spotlight from the speaker. Offer support without offering your own story or
advice. Blondinrikard Froberg – Spotlight – CC BY 2.0.

Empathetic listening can be worthwhile, but it also brings challenges. In

terms of costs, empathetic listening can use up time and effort. Since this
type of listening can’t be contained within a proscribed time frame, it may
be especially difficult for time-oriented listeners (Bruneau, 1993).
Empathetic listening can also be a test of our endurance, as its orientation
toward and focus on supporting the other requires the processing and
integration of much verbal and nonverbal information. Because of this
potential strain, it’s important to know your limits as an empathetic
listener. While listening can be therapeutic, it is not appropriate for people
without training and preparation to try to serve as a therapist. Some people
have chronic issues that necessitate professional listening for the purposes
of evaluation, diagnosis, and therapy. Lending an ear is different from
diagnosing and treating. If you have a friend who is exhibiting signs of a
more serious issue that needs attention, listen to the extent that you feel
comfortable and then be prepared to provide referrals to other resources
that have training to help. To face these challenges, good empathetic
listeners typically have a generally positive self-concept and self-esteem, are
nonverbally sensitive and expressive, and are comfortable with embracing
another person’s subjectivity and refraining from too much analytic
thought.

Becoming a Better Contextual Listener

Active, critical, and empathetic listening skills can be helpful in a variety of
contexts. Understanding the role that listening plays in professional,
relational, cultural, and gendered contexts can help us more competently
apply these skills. Whether we are listening to or evaluating messages from
a supervisor, parent, or intercultural conversational partner, we have much
to gain or lose based on our ability to apply listening skills and knowledge
in various contexts.

Listening in Professional Contexts

Listening and organizational-communication scholars note that listening is
one of the most neglected aspects of organizational-communication
research (Flynn, Valikoski, & Grau, 2008). Aside from a lack of research, a
study also found that business schools lack curriculum that includes
instruction and/or training in communication skills like listening in their
master of business administration (MBA) programs (Alsop, 2002). This
lack of a focus on listening persists, even though we know that more
effective listening skills have been shown to enhance sales performance and
that managers who exhibit good listening skills help create open
communication climates that can lead to increased feelings of
supportiveness, motivation, and productivity (Flynn, Valikoski, & Grau,
2008). Specifically, empathetic listening and active listening can play key
roles in organizational communication. Managers are wise to enhance their
empathetic listening skills, as being able to empathize with employees
contributes to a positive communication climate. Active listening among
organizational members also promotes involvement and increases
motivation, which leads to more cohesion and enhances the communication
climate.

Organizational scholars have examined various communication climates

specific to listening. Listening environment refers to characteristics and
norms of an organization and its members that contribute to expectations
for and perceptions about listening (Brownell, 1993). Positive listening
environments are perceived to be more employee centered, which can
improve job satisfaction and cohesion. But how do we create such
environments?

Positive listening environments are facilitated by the breaking down of

barriers to concentration, the reduction of noise, the creation of a shared
reality (through shared language, such as similar jargon or a shared vision
statement), intentional spaces that promote listening, official opportunities
that promote listening, training in listening for all employees, and leaders
who model good listening practices and praise others who are successful
listeners (Brownell, 1993). Policies and practices that support listening
must go hand in hand. After all, what does an “open-door” policy mean if it
is not coupled with actions that demonstrate the sincerity of the policy?

Listening in Relational Contexts

Listening plays a central role in establishing and maintaining our
relationships (Nelson-Jones, 2006). Without some listening competence,
we wouldn’t be able to engage in the self-disclosure process, which is
essential for the establishment of relationships. Newly acquainted people
get to know each other through increasingly personal and reciprocal
disclosures of personal information. In order to reciprocate a
conversational partner’s disclosure, we must process it through listening.
Once relationships are formed, listening to others provides a psychological
reward, through the simple act of recognition, that helps maintain our
relationships. Listening to our relational partners and being listened to in
return is part of the give-and-take of any interpersonal relationship. Our
thoughts and experiences “back up” inside of us, and getting them out helps
us maintain a positive balance (Nelson, Jones, 2006). So something as
routine and seemingly pointless as listening to our romantic partner debrief
the events of his or her day or our roommate recount his or her weekend
back home shows that we are taking an interest in their lives and are willing
to put our own needs and concerns aside for a moment to attend to their
needs. Listening also closely ties to conflict, as a lack of listening often plays
a large role in creating conflict, while effective listening helps us resolve it.
Parents who exhibit competent listening behaviors toward their children
 provide them with a sense of recognition and security that affects their future
development. Madhavi Kuram – Listen to your kids – CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

Listening has relational implications throughout our lives, too. Parents who
engage in competent listening behaviors with their children from a very
young age make their children feel worthwhile and appreciated, which
affects their development in terms of personality and character (Nichols,
1995).

A lack of listening leads to feelings of loneliness, which results in lower

self-esteem and higher degrees of anxiety. In fact, by the age of four or five
years old, the empathy and recognition shown by the presence or lack of
listening has molded children’s personalities in noticeable ways (Nichols,
1995). Children who have been listened to grow up expecting that others
will be available and receptive to them.

These children are therefore more likely to interact confidently with

teachers, parents, and peers in ways that help develop communication
competence that will be built on throughout their lives. Children who have
not been listened to may come to expect that others will not want to listen
to them, which leads to a lack of opportunities to practice, develop, and
hone foundational communication skills. Fortunately for the
more-listened-to children and unfortunately for the less-listened-to
children, these early experiences become predispositions that don’t change
much as the children get older and may actually reinforce themselves and
become stronger.
 Listening and Culture

Some cultures place more importance on listening than other cultures. In

general, collectivistic cultures tend to value listening more than
individualistic cultures that are more speaker oriented. The value placed on
verbal and nonverbal meaning also varies by culture and influences how we
communicate and listen. A low-context communication style is one in
which much of the meaning generated within an interaction comes from the
verbal communication used rather than nonverbal or contextual cues.
Conversely, much of the meaning generated by a high-context
communication style comes from nonverbal and contextual cues (Lustig &
Koester, 2006). For example, US Americans of European descent generally
use a low-context communication style, while people in East Asian and
Latin American cultures use a high-context communication style.

Contextual communication styles affect listening in many ways. Cultures

with a high-context orientation generally use less verbal communication
and value silence as a form of communication, which requires listeners to
pay close attention to nonverbal signals and consider contextual influences
on a message. Cultures with a low-context orientation must use more verbal
communication and provide explicit details, since listeners aren’t expected
to derive meaning from the context. Note that people from low-context
cultures may feel frustrated by the ambiguity of speakers from high-context
cultures, while speakers from high-context cultures may feel overwhelmed
or even insulted by the level of detail used by low-context communicators.
Cultures with a low-context communication style also tend to have a
monochronic orientation toward time, while high-context cultures have a
polychronic time orientation, which also affects listening.

As Chapter 4: “Culture and Communication” discusses, cultures that favor a

structured and commodified orientation toward time are said to be
monochronic, while cultures that favor a more flexible orientation are
polychronic. Monochronic cultures like the United States value time and
action-oriented listening styles, especially in professional contexts, because
time is seen as a commodity that is scarce and must be managed
(McCorncack, 2007). This is evidenced by leaders in businesses and
organizations who often request “executive summaries” that only focus on
the most relevant information and who use statements like “Get to the
point.” Polychronic cultures value people and content-oriented listening
styles, which makes sense when we consider that polychronic cultures also
tend to be more collectivistic and use a high-context communication style.
In collectivistic cultures, indirect communication is preferred in cases
where direct communication would be considered a threat to the other
person’s face (desired public image). For example, flatly turning down a
business offer would be too direct, so a person might reply with a “maybe”
instead of a “no.” The person making the proposal, however, would be able
to draw on contextual clues that they implicitly learned through
socialization to interpret the “maybe” as a “no.”

Listening and Gender

Research on gender and listening has produced mixed results. As we’ve
already learned, much of the research on gender differences and
communication has been influenced by gender stereotypes and falsely
connected to biological differences. More recent research has found that
people communicate in ways that conform to gender stereotypes in some
situations and not in others, which shows that our communication is more
influenced by societal expectations than by innate or gendered
“hard-wiring.” For example, through socialization, men are generally
discouraged from expressing emotions in public. A woman sharing an
emotional experience with a man may perceive the man’s lack of emotional
reaction as a sign of inattentiveness, especially if he typically shows more
emotion during private interactions. The man, however, may be listening
but withholding nonverbal expressiveness because of social norms. He may
not realize that withholding those expressions could be seen as a lack of
empathetic or active listening. Researchers also dispelled the belief that
men interrupt more than women do, finding that men and women interrupt
each other with similar frequency in cross-gender encounters (Dindia,
1987). So men may interrupt each other more in same-gender interactions
as a conscious or subconscious attempt to establish dominance because
such behaviors are expected, as men are generally socialized to be more
competitive than women. However, this type of competitive interrupting
isn’t as present in cross-gender interactions because the contexts have
shifted.

Key Takeaways

● Active listening is the process of pairing outwardly visible positive listening behaviors
with positive cognitive listening practices and is characterized by mentally preparing
yourself to listen, working to maintain focus on concentration, using appropriate verbal
 and nonverbal back-channel cues to signal attentiveness, and engaging in strategies
like note taking and mentally reorganizing information to help with recall.
● In order to apply critical-listening skills in multiple contexts, we must be able to
distinguish between facts and inferences, evaluate a speaker’s supporting evidence,
discover our own biases, and think beyond the message.
● In order to practice empathetic listening skills, we must be able to support others’
subjective experience; temporarily set aside our own needs to focus on the other
person; encourage elaboration through active listening and questioning; avoid the
temptation to tell our own stories and/or give advice; effectively mirror the nonverbal
communication of others; and acknowledge our limits as empathetic listeners.
● Getting integrated: Different listening strategies may need to be applied in different
listening contexts.
○ In professional contexts, listening is considered a necessary skill, but most
people do not receive explicit instruction in listening. Members of an
organization should consciously create a listening environment that promotes
and rewards competent listening behaviors.
○ In relational contexts, listening plays a central role in initiating relationships,
as listening is required for mutual self-disclosure, and in maintaining
relationships, as listening to our relational partners provides a psychological
reward in the form of recognition. When people aren’t or don’t feel listened to,
they may experience feelings of isolation or loneliness that can have negative
effects throughout their lives.
○ In cultural contexts, high- or low-context communication styles, monochronic
or polychronic orientations toward time, and individualistic or collectivistic
cultural values affect listening preferences and behaviors.
○ Research regarding listening preferences and behaviors of men and women
has been contradictory. While some differences in listening exist, many of
them are based more on societal expectations for how men and women should
listen rather than biological differences.

Exercises
1. Keep a “listening log” for part of your day. Note times when you feel like you
exhibited competent listening behaviors and note times when listening became
challenging. Analyze the log based on what you have learned in this section. Which
positive listening skills helped you listen? What strategies could you apply to your
listening challenges to improve your listening competence?
2. Apply the strategies for effective critical listening to a political message (a search for
“political speech” or “partisan speech” on YouTube should provide you with many
options). As you analyze the speech, make sure to distinguish between facts and
inferences, evaluate a speaker’s supporting evidence, discuss how your own biases
may influence your evaluation, and think beyond the message.
3. Discuss and analyze the listening environment of a place you have worked or an
organization with which you were involved. Overall, was it positive or negative?
What were the norms and expectations for effective listening that contributed to the
listening environment? Who helped set the tone for the listening environment?