from: Ofer te. Deer J bux Heart" The Emperor's three questions had received an invitation to give the keynote address at an education seminar in Perth. I wondered why. When I arrived at the function centre a woman, whose name tag showed she was the organiser of the seminar, approached to welcome me. ‘Do you remember me?” she asked. ‘That is one of the most dangerous questions to answer. I ‘chose to be blunt and said, ‘No.’ She smiled and told me that seven years previously I had given a talk at the school of which she was the principal. A story that I had told at hér school changed the direction of her career. She resigned as principal. She then worked tirelessly to set up a program for the kids who had dropped out of the system—street kids, underage prostitutes, drug addicts—to give them another chance, tailored to their situation. My story, she told me, was the philosophy underpinning her pro- gram. The story has been adapted from a book of short stories compiled by Leo Tolstoy that I read as a student.” Long ago, an Emperor sought a philosophy of life. He needed wisdom to guide his rule and govern himself. The religions and philosophies of the time did not satisfy him. So he searched for his philosophy in the experience of life. Eventually, he realised that he required the answers to only three fundamental questions. With those answers, he would have all the wise guidance he needed. The three ques- tions were: 1. Whenis the most important time? 2, Who is the most important person? 3. Whats the most important thing to do? After a long search, which took up most of the original story, he found the three answers on a visit to a hermit. What do you think the answers are? Look at the questions again, please. Pause, before you read on. We all know the answer to the first question, but we for- get it too often, The most important time is ‘now’ of course. ‘That is the only time we ever have. So if you want to tell your Mum or Dad how much you really love them, how grateful you are for them being your parents, do so now. Not tomor- row. Not in five minutes. Now. In five minutes it is often too late. If you need to say sorry to your partner, don’t start think- ing of all the reasons why you shouldn't. Just do it right now. The opportunity may never come again. Grab the moment. ‘The answer to the second question is powerfully pro- found. Few people ever guess the correct answer. When I read the answer as a student, it had me spinning for days. It saw deeper into the question than I’d ever imagined. The answer is that the most important person is the one you are with. I recalled asking questions of college professors and not being fully heard. They were outwardly listening, but inwardly wanting me to go. They had more important things to do. That's what I felt. It was a rotten feeling. I also recalled rousing my courage to approach a famous lecturer and ask a personal question, and being surprised and so pleased that he ‘was giving me his total attention. Other professors were wait- ing to speak with him, I was a mere long-haired student, but ‘he made me feel important. The difference was huge. ‘Communication, and love, can only be shared when the one you are with, no matter who they are, is the most important person in the world for you, at that time. They feel it. They know it. They respond. Married couples often complain that their partner doesn’t really listen to them, What they mean is that their partner doesn’t make them feel important anymore. Divorce lawyers ©would have to look for other work if every person in a rela- - tionship remembered the answer-to the Emperor’s second question and put it into practice, so that no matter how tired or busy we are, when we are with our partner, we make them feel as though they are the most important person in the world. In business, where the person we are with is a potential customer, if we treat them as the most important person for us at that time, our sales will go up and with it our salary. ‘The Emperor in the original story escaped assassination by fully listening to the advice of a small boy on his way to visit the hermit. When a powerful Emperor is with a mere child, that boy is the most important person in the world for him, and saves the Emperor's life. When friends come up to me after a long day to tell me about their problems, I emem- ber the answer to the Emperor’s second question and give them total importance. Itis selflessness. Compassion supplies the energy, and it works. ‘The organiser of the education seminar had, in her first interviews with the children she was reaching out to help, practised ‘the most important person is the one you are with’. For many of those kids, it was the first time they were made to feel important, especially by an influential adult. Moreover, by giving them importance, she was fully listening, not judg- ing, The kids were heard. The program was tailored accordingly. The kids felt respected, and it worked. Mine wasn't to be the keynote speech after all. One of the kids got up to speak after me. He related his story of family trouble, drugs and crime, of how the program returned hope to his life, and how he was soon to go to university. I was wet-eyed by the end. That was the keynote address. ‘Most of the time in your life you are by yourself. Then, the most important person, the one you are with, is you. There is plenty of time to give importance to yourself. Who is the first person you are aware of when you wake up in the morning? You! Do you ever say, ‘Good morning, me. Have a nice day!"? I do. Who is the last person you are aware of when you go to sleep? Yourself again! I say good night to myself. I give myself importance in the many private moments of my day. It works. ‘The answer to the Emperor's third question, ‘What is the most important thing to do?’ is to care. ‘To care’ brings together being careful and caring. The answer illustrates that it is where we are coming from that is the most important thing. Before describing what it means to care, using several stories, I will summarise the three questions of the Emperor, together with the answers: 1. When is the most important time? Now. 2. Whois the important person? The person you are with. 3, What is the most important thing to do? To care.96 (OPENING THE DOOR OF YOUR HEART A translator-monk told him, ‘Ajahn Chah says that if are going to sweep, give it everything you've got.’ translator left to join Ajahn Chah. The young man thought about that brief teaching on the ong journey back to Australia. He realised, of course, that ‘Ajahn Chah was teaching him much moré than how to sweep the “Whatever you are doing, gi He told me back in Austfalia several years later that this ‘advice for life’ was woptka hundred such journeys to distant én he was working, he'd give it everything he'd got. Whén he was resting, he'd give it everything he'd ‘he was socialising, he'd give it everything he'd got. a formula for success. Oh, and when he was doing thing, he'd give nothing everything he'd got Fim : Ajahn. Brkt : Is there a problem? ‘he French philosopher-mathematician Blaise Pascal (1623-62) once said: ‘All the troubles of man come from his not knowing how to sit stil.” Iwould add to this ’... and not knowing when to sit still’ In 1967, Israel was at war with Egypt, Syria and Jordan. In the midst of what became known as the Six Day War, a reporter asked the former British Prime Minister, Harold Macmillan, what he thought about the problem in the Middle East. Without hesitation, the then elder statesman. answered, “There is no problem in the Middle East.’ The reporter was stunned. ‘What do you mean, “There is no problem in the Middle East”? the reporter demanded to know. ‘Don’t you know there's a vicious war going on? Don’t you realise that as we are speaking, bombs are falling from the sky, tanks are “Gpeniig Ke Door, J gee (CRITICAL PROBLEMS AND THEIR COMPASSIONATE SOLUTIONS 97 blowing each other up, and soldiers are being sprayed with bullets? Many people are dead or wounded. What do you mean, “There is no problem in the Middle East”?’ The experienced statesman patiently explained. ‘Sir, a problem is something with a solution. There is no solution to the Middle East. Therefore it can’t be a problem.’ How much time do we waste in our lives worrying about things that, at the time, have no solution, so aren’t a problem? Making decisions do we make the important decisions in our life? Usually we try to get someone else to make the diffi- cult decisions for us, That way, if it goes wrong, we've got someone to blame. Some of my friends try to trick me into making decisions for them, but I won't. All I will do is show them how they can make wise decisions by themselves. ‘When we come to the crossroads and we are unsure what direction to take, we should pull over to the side, have a break and wait for a bus. Soon, usually when we are not expecting it, a bus arrives. On the front of a public bus is a sign in big bold letters indicating where the bus is going. If that destina- tion suits you, then take that bus. If not, wait. There’s always another bus behind. In other words, when we have to make a decision and are unsure what that decision should be, we need to pull over to the side, have a break and wait. Soon, usually when we are not expecting it, a solution will come. Every solution has its own destination. If that destination suits us, then we take that solution. If not, we wait. There’s always another solution coming behind, That's how I make my decisions. I gather all the informa- tion and wait for the solution. A good one will always come, as long as I am patient. It usually arrives unexpectedly, when Tam not thinking about it. CL problem with a solution needs a decision. But how aici aired ;