Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence (EI or sometimes EQ – Emotional Quotient) is a more
modern concept and was only fully developed in the mid-1990s, by Daniel
Goleman, among others.
Emotional Intelligence is the measure of an individual’s abilities to recognise
and manage their emotions, and the emotions of other people, both individually
and in groups.
Benefits of Higher Emotional Intelligence
People with higher emotional intelligence find it easier to form and maintain interpersonal
relationships and to ‘fit in’ to group situations.
People with higher emotional intelligence are also better at understanding their own psychological
state, which can include managing stress effectively and being less likely to suffer from
depression.
There is no correlation between IQ and EI scores.
In other words, academic aptitude (IQ) has no connection with how people understand and deal
with their emotions and the emotions of others (EI). This makes perfect sense: we’ve all met very
clever people who nonetheless had no idea about how to deal with people, and the reverse.
Some people have high IQs and low emotional intelligence and vice versa, while some people
score highly on both and some do not.
IQ and emotional intelligence attempt to measure different forms of human
intelligence; along with personality, these measures make up an individual’s
psyche.
Emotional intelligence is the one part of the human psyche that we can develop and improve by
learning and practising new skills. IQ and personality are more static measures and likely to stay
reasonably constant throughout life (although you can develop your ability to complete IQ tests
very successfully).
Ultimately emotional intelligence can only be measured by how an individual progresses through
life - developing meaningful relationships with others, their interpersonal skills and understanding,
their ability to manage their own emotions, and their personal skills.
Elements of Emotional Intelligence
Personal Skills or Competences Social Skills or Competences
How we manage ourselves How we handle relationships with others
Self-awareness Empathy
o Emotional awareness o Understanding others
o Accurate self-assessment o Developing others
o Self-confidence o Service orientation
Self-regulation o Leveraging diversity
o Self-control o Political awareness
o Trustworthiness Social Skills
o Conscientiousness o Influence
o Adaptability o Communication
o Innovation o Conflict management
Motivation o Leadership
o Achievement drive o Change catalyst
o Commitment o Building bonds
o Initiative o Collaboration and cooperation
o Optimism o Team capabilities
Based on ‘Working with Emotional Intelligence’ Daniel Goleman.
Personal Skills or Competences
There are three areas of personal skills or competences in emotional
intelligence.
1. Self-awareness
Self-awareness encompasses:
Emotional awareness
Accurate self-assessment
Self-confidence
Self-awareness is the skill of being aware of and understanding your emotions as they occur and
as they evolve. It is wrong to think of emotions as either positive or negative. Instead, you should
think of them as appropriate or inappropriate.
For example, anger is usually associated with being a negative emotion. However, it can be a
completely reasonable and appropriate emotion in certain circumstances – emotional intelligence
allows us to recognise our anger and understand why this emotion has occurred.
Effective self-assessment of feelings and emotions will help to improve your confidence and self -
esteem.
2. Self-regulation or Self-management
Self-regulation includes:
Self-control
Trustworthiness
Conscientiousness
Adaptability
Innovation
Having learned to be aware of your emotions, the skill of self-regulation relates to managing them
appropriately and proportionately.
Self-management skills relate to the emotions you are feeling at any given time or in any given
circumstance and how well you manage them. Self-control is a fundamental part of this, but other
aspects relate to what you then do: whether you behave in a way which is recognised as ‘good’ or
‘virtuous’ or not.
Motivation
The final personal skills aspect of emotional intelligence is Motivation.
Self-motivation includes our personal drive to improve and achieve, commitment to our goals,
initiative, or readiness to act on opportunities, and optimism and resilience.
Self-motivation and personal time management are key skills in this area. Do not make
unreasonable demands on yourself, learn to be assertive rather than just saying, ‘Yes’ to the
demands of others.
Social or Interpersonal Skills or
Competences
Interpersonal skills are the skills we use to interact with other people. They enable us
to communicate appropriately and build stronger, more meaningful
relationships. Emotional intelligence includes how we understand others and their
emotions, and our actions and behaviours towards them.
There are two key aspects.
1. Empathy
Empathy is an awareness of the needs and feelings of others both individually and in
groups, and being able to see things from the point of view of others.
Empathy helps us to develop a stronger understanding of other people’s situations.
It includes understanding others, developing others, having a service orientation , leveraging
diversity, and political awareness.
Empathy can often be difficult to achieve. Learn to listen effectively to both the verbal and non -
verbal messages of others, including body movements, gestures and physical signs of
emotion. Use questions to find out more about other people and what they are feeling, and
feedback to clarify that you have correctly understood their feelings. Acknowledge and respect
the feelings of others even if you disagree, and avoid making comments or statements that are
judgemental, belittling, rejecting or undermining.
2. Social Skills
Social skills encompasses a wide range of relationship and interpersonal skills. These
range from leadership through to influencing and persuading, and managing conflict, as
well as working in a team.
The term ‘social skills’ covers a wide variety of skills and competencies, many of which are rooted
in self-esteem and personal confidence. By developing your social skills, being easy to talk to,
being a good listener, being sharing and trustworthy, you also become more charismatic and
attractive to others.
This in turn improves self-esteem and confidence which makes it easier for positive personal
dialogue and a greater understanding and acceptance of your own emotions.
In Summary
Working on your emotional intelligence could well be the most important aspect of your personal
development.
Research has shown that people with higher levels of emotional intelligence enjoy more satisfying and
successful careers and relationships. If you think about ways to enhance your EI, you are likely to
become more interesting and attractive to others, and you will also give your self-esteem a boost.
Compiled from Life skills
