Introduction to Attachment-Focused EMDR

Resourcing and Developmental Repair

Laurel Parnell, Ph.D.

My background and experience.

Introduction The evolution of my thinking

to
Attachment-
EMDR and Resource Tapping
focused (Resource Installation)
EMDR
Standard versus modified EMDR
protocol.

The Five Basic Principles of Attachment-Focused EMDR

1. Client safety
2. Quality of the therapeutic relationship
3. Client-centered
4. Resource Tapping to repair developmental deficits
(Parnell, 2008)
5. Use Modified EMDR (EMDR-M)

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 Protocol Comparison

Rationale for Resource Tapping

• Imagery paired with bilateral

stimulation seems to integrate
information more fully into
the neuro-circuitry

• People with PTSD do not

attend to neutral stimuli -
their brains are geared to
traumatic stimuli (McFarlane)

The Four Foundational Resources

Peaceful Nurturing “Ideal Mother”

Place Figures

Inner
Wisdom Protector
Figures
Figures

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 Using Resource Tapping
in Treatment

• Helps assess client’s readiness for

trauma work

• Prepares client for trauma

processing

• Creates safety net:

• Regulates intensity
• integrates positive information
• strengthens client during treatment

• I usually begin with Peaceful Place, but for

some people relaxing actually makes them
more anxious and unsafe. If this happens
begin with Protector Fgures.
• When you begin with Nurturing or Protector
Figures, make a list of them--2 or 3 and then
Resource tap each one in under that category.
Figures • After that, move on to the next category of
figures e.g. Protectors, compile a list of
“Protectors” and then tap each one in under
that category.
• The same with Wise figures. One Wise figure
is sufficient.

• We want figures under Nurturing and

Protectors not inanimate objects, though
they can be used as additions.
• We want the client to have figures available
Resource who can do something to intervene, if
necessary, later.
Figures
• After all of the figures have been tapped in,
ask if they want to imagine them as a team.
If yes, tap in the team.

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 The capacity to resource gives us a ton
of information about the client’s internal
structure, resilience, attachment issues,
and developmental issues.
RESOURCING
IS If the client cannot tolerate the positive
DIAGNOSTIC affects of resourcing and self-soothe
their ANS in and between sessions - we
do not proceed to trauma processing.

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Peaceful Place
• A place real or imaginary
• It is used to create a sense of calm for the nervous system
• You can help the client find this place through the use of
relaxation and guided imagery
• Can be a sacred place or sanctuary
• It can be an activity they enjoy
• For some people it can make them feel unsafe as it lowers the
defenses
• You can add a protective barrier, or bring in guardians or
protectors
• You can begin with protectors instead

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Peaceful
Place

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 Peaceful
Place

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY

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Peaceful
Place

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Peaceful
Place

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 Healthy Activity

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Nurturing Figures

Resource figures that have a nurturing

quality
• Spouse/partner/lover
Client doesn’t have to imagine
• Family members (if non-conflictual)
• Friends figure nurturing her/him/them
• Therapist
• Imaginary
• Figures from movies, books, TV
• Spiritual figures
• Animals
• Adult nurturing self
• Ideal mother

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NURTURING
FIGURE

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC

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 Nurturing Figure

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This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-ND

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Nurturing
Figure

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∗ Important for Protector Figures

adults abused as
children • Books, movies, TV
• Animals
• Spiritual figures
∗ Can be the same as • Protective adult self
the nurturing figure • Therapist
• Friends
• Family members
∗ Real or imaginary,
from their past or
present

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 Protector Figures

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Protector
Figure

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Protector
Figure

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 Protector
Figures

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Inner Wisdom Figures

• Family
• Ancestors
• Spiritual figures
• Historical figures
• Movies
• Books

• Inner advisor or inner

wise self

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Wise Figure

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 Wise Figures

Wise
Figures

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Wise Figure

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Wise Figure

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND

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 Wise Figure

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Wise
Figure

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Step 1 Bring in all their resource

figures

Step 2
Team of • They feel surrounded
and supported by
Inner their resources

Resources Step 3
• Take in the feeling &
imagery of support

Step 4 Tap it in

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 How do we find these
figures?

• We cast the net wide:

• Books
• Teachers
• Mentors
• Movies 34

• They can even be a

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Creating New Parents:

Repairing Developmental Deficits

Create an ideal mother and Create an ideal father and re-

re-imagine imagine
developmental stages developmental stages

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Which clients might benefit from the creation

and tapping in of an ideal mother?
• Clients who did not receive consistent nurturing from their mothers.
• Clients who were abused or neglected.
• Clients whose mother had problems with drug or alcohol.
• Clients whose mother had a mental illness.
• Clients who did not have a loving mother.
• Clients who have difficulty with emotional regulation.
• Clients whose mothers rejected them.
• Clients who were abandoned or never had a mother.

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 Creating an Ideal
Mother
• Can you imagine an ideal mother?
• You can create the mother you wish
you had
• She can be any way you would like
her to be.
• This is a mother who meets your
needs, who fits you.

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You can construct her from:

Someone you know

Aspects of people you know:

Neighbors
Creating the
Friends
Ideal Mother
Your actual mother

Characters from books/movies/shows

Aspects of yourself

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• Make a list of her qualities

• Kind
• Loving
• Warm
• Playful
• Calm
• Consistent
• Emotionally strong
Creating an • What qualities are important to the client? Include
sobriety, healthy relationship to food and their
bodies if it is an issue for the client.
Ideal • You can direct your client to close their eyes as you
read them the list and see if an image or a felt
mother sense of an ideal mother arises for them. If it does,
tap it in.

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 • Helpful prompts to help client access their
own nurturing feelings:
• Do you have children?
• Do you have a pet you have loved and
cared for?
• Can you remember nurturing and loving
them?
Tapping In an • You can take aspects of your own
nurturing self to construct this mother
Ideal Mother
• When the client has created her, can feel
her, and has a strong felt sense of her, add BLS
to tap her in

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If the client is able, ask them to imagine being nurtured by their ideal
mother

• Bring in the senses:

• What would it feel like to be in her arms?
• What would she smell like? Her breath, her skin?
• Feel her softness, the relaxation and calmness she exudes
If client really gets into this, and continues to elaborate on the
imagery & feelings, let them go with it--as long as it remains positive

If it should turn negative, stop and return to only positive imagery

and feelings

Most important goal:

Construct this ideal mother and
develop a strong, felt sense of her nurturing quality

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1. Ask client to think of a time

If Client when they were
nurturing to someone or
Cannot something. Even one time

Access a 2. Can they evoke that feeling

of caring for another?
Sense of a If they can, tap in that memory
Nurturing
3. Can they now take that
Mother feeling, and use it to
construct a mother figure?

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 If Client Cannot Access a Sense of a Nurturing
Mother

3. If they can do it, ask them to imagine

themselves in the position of receiving the
nurturing they give. For example:
• If they evoke a memory of holding
and rocking their own daughter in
their arms, tap that in
• Ask if they can imagine themselves
as the baby receiving that loving
• If they can, ask them to imagine it
with the feeling
• Tap it in
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC

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Helping Client Access

the Ideal Mother
Homework: Search for pictures of loving mother-infant interactions,
and examples of healthy bonding

• Internet, magazines for collage

• Videos, books, YouTube

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Roadbocks to Creating
the Ideal Mother
“But this didn’t happen to me”
 Validate
 Educate about changing the
nervous system

Fear of being disloyal to own

mother/care-giver
 Educate
 Create a co-mother

Grief
 Validate feelings
 Allow to grieve with ideal
mother/nurturer holding them

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 Ideal
Mother

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA

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Using the Ideal

Mother
• When the client has created an
ideal mother, you can use her:

• As a resource for EMDR

• To add in new neuro-pathways

to heal attachment wounds

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Using The Ideal Mother to

Repair Developmental Wounds

Redoing the womb

experience

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Ideal Birth

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Bonding
with
Mother

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Early infancy

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 What do they
need to grow
up in a healthy
way?

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References

Cozolino, L. (2006). The neuroscience of human relationships. New York: W. W. Norton.

Fosha, D. Siegel, D. and Solomon, M. (2009). The Healing Power of Emotion. New York:
W. W. Norton.

Hughes, D. (2007). Attachment-focused family therapy. New York: W. W. Norton.

Miller, A. (1981). The drama of the gifted child. New York: Basic Books.

Parnell, L. (2019) Rewiring the addicted brain with EMDR Based Treatment. New York:
WW Norton.

Parnell, L. (2013) Attachment-focused EMDR: Healing Relational Trauma. New York: WW
Norton.

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References

Parnell, L. (2008). Tapping In: A Step-by-Step Guide to Activating Your Healing Resources
Through Bilateral Stimulation. Boulder: Sounds True. Book and audio program.
∗ Parnell, L. (2007). A therapist's guide to EMDR: Tools and techniques for successful
treatment. New York: W. W. Norton.

Parnell, L. (1999). EMDR in the treatment of adults abused in childhood.New York: WW.
Norton.

Parnell, L. (1997) Transforming trauma: EMDR. New York: W. W. Norton.

Schore, A. (1994). Affect Regulation and the repair of the self. New York: W. W. Norton..

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 Thank You

Laurel Parnell, Ph.D.

www.parnellemdr.com

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