The Drunken City

A new play by Adam Bock

March 2008

Agent:
Val Day, William Morris Agency
[email protected]

The Drunken City March 08 1

Cast:

The Guys:
EDDIE
FRANK

The Bachelorette Party:

MARNIE
LINDA
MELISSA

Another Guy:
BOB

All in their mid to late twenties.

The Drunken City March 08 2

ONE.

MARNIE, MELISSA and LINDA enter. They look around.

MELISSA
Any way any way.
Ok Marnie? Ready Linda? Ok? Show them.
All three show the audience their engagement rings.
Isn’t that weird? We’re all engaged. All three of us.
It was kind of amazing because we all got them Well, you
know, Jack gave Linda her ring

MARNIE
Wait a sec Melissa.

MELISSA
What?

MARNIE
This is Jack.
Takes out, unfolds a large xerox copy of a photo of Jack.

LINDA
You brought a picture of Jack?

MARNIE
Yeah I figured it would be easier if they saw a photo.

LINDA
That’s such a good picture of him.

MARNIE
I know right?

MELISSA
Um

LINDA
When did you take it?

MARNIE
Remember the other day And I had it printed big at Kinkos.

LINDA
Can I have it?

The Drunken City March 08 3

 MARNIE
Sure.

MELISSA
Ok ok ok.
So Linda got hers from Jack and then Gary gave Marnie her
ring

MARNIE
Just a sec. This is Gary.
MARNIE unfolds, shows large xerox photo of Gary.

MELISSA
Did you bring pictures of everyone?

MARNIE
Stories are always way better with a visual aid.

LINDA
Did you bring one of me?

MELISSA
Why would she bring one of you? You’re here.

LINDA
Oh

MARNIE
So I didn’t.

LINDA
Right.

MARNIE
My ring’s pretty isn’t it. He picked it out himself! Hhht.

LINDA
When Jack asked me to marry him I got so nervous I went into
my room and I took my bottle of Windex and I cleaned my
sneakers.

MARNIE
You did?

MELISSA
I was upset because Jack asked Linda and then Gary and

The Drunken City March 08 4

Marnie, so when I saw Linda’s ring and then I saw Marnie’s
ring I was upset.

MARNIE
You were?

LINDA
You were?

MARNIE
Why were you upset?

MELISSA
You’d have been upset too if Linda and me’d come and shown
you Look Look

LINDA
Did we sound like that?

MARNIE
We didn’t sound like that

LINDA
We were like Look Look?

MELISSA
You were supposed to be happy You were happy

MARNIE
Were you mad at us?

MELISSA
No. No. No.

MARNIE
So why didn’t you say something?

MELISSA
I didn’t want to say anything because I was happy for you.

MARNIE
I didn’t even know you were upset. Did you know she was
upset?

LINDA
No.

The Drunken City March 08 5

 MARNIE
Cause I didn’t know she was upset.

MELISSA
I didn’t want to say anything.

LINDA
Did you tell Kelly you were mad?

MELISSA
I wasn’t mad.

LINDA
Did you tell Lori?

MELISSA
You both had rings. I didn’t have a ring.

MARNIE
But that’s

MELISSA
But then Jason he

MARNIE
Ok just a sec Wait wait This is Jason.
Unfolds, shows large xerox photo of Jason.

LINDA
How upset were you?

MARNIE
Yeah?

MELISSA
But then Jason

MARNIE
That makes me I’m sad you

MELISSA
But Jason gave me mine so it was ok.

MARNIE
Yeah but I’m

The Drunken City March 08 6

 LINDA
Yeah.

MARNIE
Yeah.

Pause.

MELISSA
What’s weird is We’re all friends and none of us were
engaged and then all of sudden all of us suddenly are Now.
That’s the point. And what’s different because we’re
engaged. Not me being upset.

Pause.

MELISSA
So then because we’d all got engaged and we all got our
rings, we wanted to celebrate, so we went into the city.
This was two months ago.

MARNIE
Kelly drove.

LINDA
She doesn’t drink.

MARNIE
Right.

MELISSA
She has kids.

LINDA
Do you have a picture of Kelly?

MARNIE
Yeah. Yeah. Just a sec.

MELISSA
So Kelly drove

MARNIE
Here Look
Shows large xerox photo of Kelly.
And these are her kids.
Shows a small photo of Kelly’s kids.

The Drunken City March 08 7

 LINDA
They are so cute

MARNIE
I forgot to copy this one.

MELISSA
Kelly drove

MARNIE
Five of us went. Me, Melissa, Lori, Linda and Kelly. Kelly’s
already married and Linda well Melinda well

LINDA
Do you have a picture of Lori?

MARNIE
Yeah.
Unfolds, shows large xerox photo of Lori.
This is the only picture I have of her.

LINDA
Lori probably won’t get married

MARNIE
Yeah

MELISSA
I dunno

LINDA
No

MARNIE
Yeah

LINDA
Yeah Lori probably won’t get married

MARNIE
She doesn’t want to.

MELISSA
She might.
To audience.
We do everything together. The five of us.

The Drunken City March 08 8

 MARNIE
But maybe.

MELISSA
She’ll get married.

MARNIE
So Kelly drove

MELISSA
So we went into the city

LINDA
Just for the night To have fun

MARNIE
To celebrate

LINDA
Remember the

MARNIE
Yeah remember the

MELISSA
Yeah

ALL
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

MELISSA
So we went into the city

LINDA
In spotlight. To the audience.
The city’s like a monster Like a sleeping dragon or some
dark creature in the night that cracks open an eye, it just
stares at you and dares you to come closer to it, to look
down its dark streets, says “Come here” and whispers dark
dangerous dark ideas into your ear It’s fun It’s fun it’s I
go into the city and I forget who I am, I forget to be
afraid of anything, which, I don’t know, I don’t know how
smart that is, but I know that when I’m in the city and I
with my friends I just It’s

MELISSA
We got drunk.

The Drunken City March 08 9

 LINDA
Yeah.

MARNIE
Remember?

LINDA
Yeah.

They all laugh.

MELISSA
We were racing around like crazy. We went dancing and we
were shouting and people were shouting at us and laughing
and and Linda and Linda

LINDA
In a spotlight. To the audience.
I’ve been reading about Hinduism at school. The Hindus They
think They think the whole world is alive That everything
That every flower every bit of wood and rock and the
floating clouds And even the water that a small golden fish
swims through Everything is living and feeling and
And that night I believed them I could see the world that
they
I could see the city slowly opening its lazy dangerous eyes
They The Hindus They use their breath to slow down the
tumbling hurdy gurdy of the world Slow it down so they can
see the trees breathe, so they can fall in love with the
wind, so they can
That night I could hear it I could hear the cement under my
feet muttering, I could hear the streetlights arguing with
me, I could hear a devil and an angel struggling grabbing at
each other, young and old and dead And I knew no one liked
me and I knew
and then
I was dizzy and

MELISSA
Linda had too much to drink.

MARNIE
Smiles, nervous.

LINDA
Maybe

The Drunken City March 08 10

 MELISSA
You had way too much. And she fainted. And Lori tried to
catch her.
Pause.
And Lori broke her foot.

MARNIE
Yeah.

LINDA
I was fine.

MARNIE
Yeah but Lori

MELISSA
And I knew I knew that night
Cause there were cops and Melinda was trying not to cry and
that guy who ran the store And remember how your cell it
didn’t
I knew
What this ring means
Points at her wedding ring.
Is that there’s a beautiful new path that we’re all going to
walk down. It’s beautiful It’s so
And it also means There’s some places That’s it We won’t be
going there any more. That’s what’s different now.

MARNIE
What?

MELISSA
What

MARNIE
You think that’s true?

MELISSA
I’m sure it is. We’re getting married.

MARNIE
Huh. Huh.

MELISSA
To audience.
All I’m saying is: When you get engaged, don’t go into the
city. Don’t go into the city.

The Drunken City March 08 11

 MARNIE
Huh.

LINDA
I’m fine.

MELISSA
Show’m one more time.
They all show their rings.
Ok. That’s it Let’s go.
MARNIE and LINDA exit, MELISSA turns just before exiting.

MELISSA
Don’t go into the city.
She exits.

Music.

TWO.

A sign or placard or heading:

OK SO FAST FORWARD: THREE WEEKS LATER. IN THE CITY.

Notes on this night in the Drunken City:

In every scene that follows, every character except Bob is
drunk or tipsy, except during noted moments of clarity.
The city tilts when noted.

A city street late at night.

EDDIE
Runs on from offstage right, stops halfway across stage.
Yells back to offstage right.
Come on Come on!
Runs offstage left.
Runs back onstage halfway. Yells back to offstage right.
Come on Come on! Frank! Hurry it up!
Runs offstage left.
Runs back onstage halfway. Stands.
Let’s go! Come on! Jeez!
He tap-dances. Drunk. It is choreographed. Drunk. He is a
good tap-dancer but he is drunk.
Yells offstage to FRANK.

The Drunken City March 08 12

 EDDIE
Dude!
FRANK enters. EDDIE taps.

FRANK
Eddie Shut up I’m trying to call Priscilla.

EDDIE
No.

FRANK
She isn’t picking up her cellphone.

EDDIE
You promised me.

FRANK
What?

EDDIE
We’re not talking about her. She broke up with you a year
ago! And she doesn’t even answer your texts anymore.

FRANK
That’s why I’m calling her!

EDDIE
You’re an idiot.

FRANK
Yeah? You’re an idiot.

EDDIE
You’re an idiot. I bring you out. I drive you hear. I talk
us into that club. I find you some girls.

FRANK
Yeah girls Some That one girl you wanted me to She kept
squinting at me!

EDDIE
You’re too picky.

FRANK
She was all Squint Squint Squint
EDDIE
She forgot her glasses! She told you that!

The Drunken City March 08 13

 FRANK
At least Priscilla doesn’t squint.

EDDIE
Frankie.

FRANK
She’s probably out with that guy.

EDDIE
Frank. You gotta stop it with thinking about Priscilla. She
was a jerk.

FRANK
She wasn’t a jerk.

EDDIE
She was. She dumped you. She strung you along and then she
dumped you. She was a jerk.

FRANK
What do you know about it You’re never in love

EDDIE
Hey you know I’m waiting. I told you I’m waiting I’m waiting
for the right This doesn’t have anything to do with me and
me not

FRANK
Yeah. Well I was in love with Priscilla. SO don’t call her
that. Because I don’t like it.
Awkward. Then:
And anyway it was my fault she dumped me.

EDDIE
How?

FRANK
I didn’t listen to her.

EDDIE
So?

FRANK
She kept saying things and I didn’t listen to her. That’s
what she told me when I finally listened to her.

The Drunken City March 08 14

 EDDIE
Mutters
Yeah and she lied to you. About all that stuff!

FRANK
She only lied to me because I never listened to her. That’s
what she told me when I finally listened to her.

EDDIE
Frank.

FRANK
What?

EDDIE
Where’re we going next?

FRANK
I’m going home.

EDDIE
Oh No no no my buddy. I’m taking you one more place. The
girls are gorgeous.

FRANK
I’m tired Eddie. Gimme the keys to your car.

EDDIE
No. Why? No.

FRANK
You’re not driving. You’re drunk.

EDDIE
And that other girl was into you.

FRANK
The squinter?

EDDIE
No, that other one before. I introduced you to her. We
should of hung out with her.

FRANK
The girl with that thing on her neck?

The Drunken City March 08 15

 EDDIE
She was checking you out and she said “who’s that guy you’re
with” and I was “I’m not with him” and she was “no?” and I
was “no, why?” and then she looked at me all
Opens his eyes wide and cocks his head.

FRANK
Why didn’t you tell me?

EDDIE
I did. I was poking your arm and going
Makes face.
And then she said And then she said

FRANK
What?

EDDIE
And then she said
Laughs.

FRANK
You’re drunk.

EDDIE
You’re drunk Frankie.

FRANK
No you you’re drunk Eddie.

EDDIE
You’re drunk. Frank you’re totally

FRANK
Eddie

EDDIE
I had a beer and a tequila shot. I’m not drunk. What are you
saying Why are you saying that What are you saying?

FRANK
I had two shots.

EDDIE
Yeah Ok I had two shots too.

The Drunken City March 08 16

 FRANK
No. You had four shots.

EDDIE
Yeah. So I had four shots. But that’s it.

FRANK
And a beer.

EDDIE
And Ok a beer. Right. Big deal a beer.

FRANK
And another beer.

EDDIE
Two beers. Two. Pfft. Right.

FRANK
Yeah. Two beers.

EDDIE
And two shots.

FRANK
Four shots.

EDDIE
Four Shots.

FRANK
Four shots.

EDDIE
Yeah! Laughs.
Two beers and four shots. That’s it.

FRANK
At that bar.

EDDIE
I think I might of had a couple of margaritas. Didn’t we
have margaritas somewhere?

FRANK
Holds up his hand for the keys.

The Drunken City March 08 17

 EDDIE
Gives them to him.
I want another beer.

FRANK
Let’s get out of here.

EDDIE
We could go back and see her.

FRANK
Who?

EDDIE
That girl with the thing on her neck

FRANK
I dunno That thing on her neck kinda made me anxious.

EDDIE
Tap-dances.

FRANK
She said something about me though?

EDDIE
Wanna go back?

FRANK
What’d she say?

EDDIE
I got something on my shoe.

FRANK
What?

EDDIE
What?

FRANK
What?

EDDIE
I got something on my shoe. I think it’s gum. I fucking I
hate when I get It’s gum I think. It’s gum.
Sits on the ground.

The Drunken City March 08 18

 FRANK
What’d she say?

EDDIE
Who?

FRANK
Stands. Mouth open.

EDDIE
It is It’s gum.

FRANK
I’m going home.

MELISSA, LINDA and MARNIE enter stage right. MARNIE wears a

wedding veil. And a tiara.

LINDA
Whoo whoo!

MELISSA
She’s getting married! She’s getting married!

LINDA
Whoo whoo!

MELISSA and LINDA

Getting married!

LINDA
Whoo whoo! Married! Whoo whoo!

MARNIE
I’m getting married!

EDDIE
Hey She’s getting married Frank.

FRANK
I know. I heard.

EDDIE
She’s getting married!

LINDA
Whoo whoo!

The Drunken City March 08 19

 EDDIE
You’re getting married!

MARNIE
I know!

LINDA
You are!
Starts crying.

MARNIE
I know! I know!

MELISSA and LINDA

You are!
Start crying.

MELISSA
She’s getting married!

MARNIE
I am! I am!

LINDA
I know! She is!

MELISSA and LINDA

She is!

MARNIE
I am!

MELISSA
She’s getting married!
Wails.

ALL THREE WOMEN

I know!
Wail. Hug. Wail.

FRANK
Why they crying?

MELISSA
Because she’s getting married. Isn’t that great?
Cries.

The Drunken City March 08 20

 FRANK
I dunno.

EDDIE
Of course it’s great.

FRANK
What’s so great about getting married? Priscilla’s probably
gonna marry that guy.

EDDIE
Who’s getting married?

LINDA
Shut up We just told you!

MARNIE
I am!

LINDA
And we’re going to the wedding! Whoo whoo!

EDDIE
Who’s going to the wedding?

LINDA
Shut up We just told you!

MELISSA
We are! We’re in it!

EDDIE
Who’s in it?

LINDA
We just told you! Shut up!

EDDIE
I got gum on my shoe.

MARNIE
You do?

LINDA
Guys! Guys! Check your shoes! Check your shoes for gum!
The women all sit. They check for gum.

The Drunken City March 08 21

 LINDA
NO GUM!

MARNIE
NO GUM!

MELISSA
NO GUM!

LINDA
Alright!

MARNIE
I’m Marnie. I’m getting married.

FRANK
Why?

MARNIE
I dunno. What d’ya mean?

MELISSA and LINDA

We’re her bridesmaids!

LINDA
Bridesmaids rule! Whoo whoo!

EDDIE
I’m a dentist.

LINDA
You are?

EDDIE
And I can tap-dance.
Tap-dances.

LINDA
Look! Man! How’d you learn to Look Marnie! Look! Look!
EDDIE
Who are you marrying?

MARNIE
Some guy.

MELISSA and LINDA

Marnie!

The Drunken City March 08 22

Laughing.

MARNIE
Some guy I

LINDA
His name’s Gary!

MARNIE
Pipe it down Linda!

LINDA
Loud whisper: His name’s Gary.

MELISSA
Loud whisper: He’s really nice!

EDDIE
How nice?

LINDA
Loud whisper: He’s nice and his name’s Gary!

MELISSA
Loud whisper: He’s really nice! He is! He’s a nice guy!

LINDA
Loud whisper: He’s got a nice ass! Whoo whoo!

EDDIE
Loud whisper: Alrighty there! Whoo whoo!

MELISSA
Linda!

LINDA
He does!

MARNIE
He does.

MELISSA
It’s true he does He’s got a nice ass!
They all laugh.

FRANK
What’s your name again?

The Drunken City March 08 23

 MARNIE
You’re drunk.

FRANK
Yeah.
Smiles.

MARNIE
I’m Marnie. I’m a bride-to-be. And I’m a princess. I got a
tiara. See? We were at the loudest bar. I could barely hear
myself think. We had pink drinks.

LINDA
I drank a lot of’m.

MELISSA
What’s your name?

FRANK
Frank. He’s Eddie.

MELISSA
Frank. That’s a cute name. You’re cute. He’s cute Linda.

MARNIE
Wait a minute I know you You work at my bank.

FRANK
That’d probably be me.

MELISSA
You’re from our town?

FRANK
We both are.

MARNIE
He works at my bank!

LINDA
He does?

MELISSA
Which one? The one over on?

MARNIE
Yeah. My bank!

The Drunken City March 08 24

 MELISSA
His name’s Frank?

MARNIE
Yeah!

MELISSA
His name is Frank.

MARNIE and MELISSA

And he works at my/your bank! His name is Frank and

LINDA
At a bank At a bank at a bank bank bank

FRANK
Ok. Let’s get out of here Eddie.

MARNIE
No come on! We’re joking!
MELISSA
We’re just joking Frank.

LINDA
Mr. Bank Man!

MARNIE
Come on.

MELISSA
We were just. Come on.

MARNIE
You’re my banker and I wanna meet you.

MELISSA
I want you to be my banker too.

LINDA
Me too.

FRANK
Eddie.

EDDIE
They wanna meet you Frankie.

The Drunken City March 08 25

 LINDA
We got bridesmaids dresses today.

MELISSA
Except her. She’s gonna wear a gown.

LINDA
A GOWN.

MELISSA
And it is FANCY.

EDDIE
How fancy?

MARNIE
It’s fancy.

MELISSA
Frank. You’re cute. You got a girlfriend?

EDDIE
No he doesn’t.

MELISSA and LINDA

Huh.

MELISSA
Really. You’re cute.

LINDA
It’s all white.

EDDIE
What?

LINDA
Her gown. Ours’re blue.

MELISSA
Yeah.

LINDA
Melissa looks good in blue.

MELISSA
I do.

The Drunken City March 08 26

 EDDIE
I bet you do.

LINDA
She does Frank.

MELISSA
I do. And today Frank we got gloves.

EDDIE
Even nicer!

LINDA
I’ve got short arms.

EDDIE
You do?

MARNIE
You do not!

FRANK
Lemme see.

LINDA
Look.

MELISSA
Lori and Marnie and me and Linda and Kelly all went to the
bride store today and got gloves. They’re satin.

LINDA
My gloves go all the way up to my armpits!

MELISSA
They do not!

MARNIE
Your arms are fine.

MELISSA
Kelly’s the one who’s got Kelly’s got short arms.

LINDA
Yeah she does!

The Drunken City March 08 27

 EDDIE
Who’s Kelly?

LINDA
Poor Kelly.

MELISSA
It’s me I’m Melissa It’s me and Lori and Linda and Marnie
and Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly is one of the bridesmaids too
well she’s the matron and she has really short arms If you
think Linda’s arms are short, you should see Kelly’s

LINDA
Yeah Yeah Yeah Poor Kelly

MELISSA
When we got the gloves we all put them on and then Kelly put
hers on
And then
Opens eyes wide.

LINDA
Whoa.

MELISSA
No one said anything We couldn’t even look at Kelly We were
just looking down at the ground

LINDA
Like this.

MELISSA
I never noticed that Her arms are so short.

LINDA
Me neither!

MARNIE
Me neither!

MELISSA
She’s gonna have to get her gloves shortened!

LINDA
It’s expensive being a bridesmaid. Especially when you’re
shaped funny. Pfft. Acch.

The Drunken City March 08 28

 FRANK
You have nice arms.

MARNIE
Thanks. Really? Thanks.
MARNIE and FRANK sneak a kiss.

EDDIE
Where are Kelly and Melinda?

MELISSA
Kelly had to go home

ALL THREE WOMEN

She has kids.

MARNIE
And Lori’s foot was throbbing.
MELISSA and MARNIE point at LINDA.

MELISSA
I wanna be a bride. I’m never going to be a bride!

MARNIE
You will be.

LINDA
Sure you’re gonna be a bride someday.

MELISSA
She’s getting this great wedding With everything It’s gonna
be awesome Everything’s all set and waiting and everyone is
so psyched for her it’s gonna be awesome It’s a huge huge
huge huge moment in her life and it’s gonna be awesome and
then she gets to start out a whole new life and everything.

EDDIE
You’ll get married. You’re pretty.

MELISSA
Thank you.

EDDIE
Isn’t she pretty Frank?

FRANK
Yeah.

The Drunken City March 08 29

 LINDA
She broke up with her boyfriend.

MELISSA
Linda shut up!

LINDA
Well you did.

MELISSA
I had to!

EDDIE
Frank broke up with his girlfriend too.

MELISSA
You did? You did Frank?

MARNIE
You did huh?

FRANK
Nice Eddie.

EDDIE
Frankie you gotta get over her.

FRANK
She broke up with me.

MARNIE
How come?

FRANK
Her name was Priscilla She was just this girl

MELISSA
She was stupid. You’re cute. My ex is rotten!

EDDIE
He is?

LINDA
He fooled around on her. Twice!
MARNIE and FRANK sneak a kiss.

The Drunken City March 08 30

 MELISSA
I forgave him the first time.

EDDIE
You did?

MELISSA
We were engaged!

LINDA
She shouldn’t of made him come back to her.

MELISSA
But then

LINDA
Cause he did it again.

MELISSA
Marriage is SACRED! He gave me a RING! I had a RING!

MARNIE and FRANK are kissing. They’ve been sneaking kisses

for a bit without being noticed.
LINDA, and then MELISSA and then EDDIE, all see them. The
city tilts. They all stumble.

MELISSA
Marnie!

EDDIE
Frank!

Pause. Open mouths.

LINDA
Whoa!

EDDIE
Man dude!

MARNIE and FRANK kiss again. The city tilts. They all
stumble.

MELISSA
Marnie stop it!

The Drunken City March 08 31

 LINDA
Whoa!

MELISSA
What are you doing?

EDDIE
What’re you doing Frank?

MARNIE
What?

MELISSA
You can’t you can’t you can’t You can’t kiss some guy at
your bachelorette party, Gary’s gonna kill us.

MARNIE
I can kiss him if I want to. I’m not married yet.

MELISSA
No you can’t!

LINDA
You can’t Marnie!
MARNIE is about to kiss FRANK again.

MELISSA
Marnie!

EDDIE
You can’t kiss her!

MARNIE
He’s fun to kiss! He’s got soft lips.

FRANK
I do?

MARNIE
Gary doesn’t have soft lips. He has hard lips.

FRANK
I have soft lips Eddie.

MELISSA
Stop kissing her!

The Drunken City March 08 32

 FRANK
OW!

MARNIE
Don’t hit him!

LINDA
Melissa!

MELISSA
He’s gonna ruin everything!

FRANK
Ow! Ow! Jeez Louise!
Laughing
Pull her off of me Eddie!

EDDIE
Man.

FRANK
OW!
Not laughing.
That frickin HURT! JEEZ!

MARNIE
Melissa! Melissa!

FRANK
OW!

LINDA
Melissa’s going crazy.

MELISSA
He’s gonna he’s gonna he’s gonna

MARNIE
Melissa cut it out!

EDDIE
Hey hey hey HEY. HEY.

Pause.

FRANK
Ow. Ow.

The Drunken City March 08 33

 MELISSA
Panting.
To audience.
This is how things get ruined. This is how things unravel
and fall apart. This is how all of a sudden no one’s smiling
any more, why people end up standing around embarrassed and
sad.

EDDIE
To audience.
Opens mouth.

LINDA
To audience.
I drink too much. The world scares me.

MELISSA
In a spot. To audience. During this, FRANK and MARNIE sneak
off-stage.
I had everything. I had a ring. It was such a beautiful
night the night Jason gave it to me. My hair was up like
And Jason looked so shiny and redfaced and he was smiling at
me like I was the only person anywhere anywhere anywhere. It
was gonna be awesome. And. And we were going to buy a house.
I’d already picked it out. It had a gazebo in the backyard.
With screens. Where you could put a table in the summer.
Then slowly Like a murmur that I didn’t notice at first I
couldn’t hear it properly I kept hearing these two names.
These two names over and over in different low voices. Jason
and Jessica. Jessica and Jason.
What kind of name is Jessica anyways Who’d name their kid
that? Jessica It’s a stupid name.
It was humiliating. I gave my ring back to Jason. And
suddenly all over again I had nothing all over again.
Blinks.

LINDA
Whoa.

MELISSA
Where are they?

EDDIE
I dunno.

LINDA
Who?

The Drunken City March 08 34

 MELISSA
Marnie and that stupid guy!

LINDA
Oh my god where’d they go?

MELISSA
We have to find them. Gary’s gonna kill us Linda.

EDDIE
Muttering: Frank’s not stupid.

MELISSA
What?

EDDIE
Frank’s not stupid.

MELISSA
My friend Marnie and my friend Gary have planned a very
beautiful very spiritual very They’re getting married. In a
church! They bought a car. And Gary’s been talking about
getting a dog. A miniature schnauzer which is the kind of
dog that’s very good with children so you can guess what
else he’s been thinking about.

LINDA
Children

MELISSA
And now because Kelly and Linda wanted to have a
bachelorette party

LINDA
I knew it was gonna be fun.

MELISSA
Linda!

LINDA
What?

MELISSA

The Drunken City March 08 35

This is as bad as last time we came here and you broke
Lori’s foot!

LINDA
Melissa!

MELISSA
Worse!

LINDA
You’re

MELISSA
And now because we brought Marnie out and she kissed Your
stupid friend -

EDDIE
Mutters.

MELISSA
My friend Gary’s gonna be really really really really really
mad at us and there’s gonna be heck to pay! I’m calling Bob.

EDDIE
Who’s Bob?

MELISSA
He’ll talk some sense into Marnie.

LINDA
Maybe we should call Gary.

MELISSA
We can’t call Gary. He’ll kill us.

EDDIE
This Gary guy doesn’t sound so great.

MELISSA
He is too great He’s a great guy. He is. You don’t know what
you’re talking about.

LINDA
Melissa used to date him before Marnie.

MELISSA
Shut up Linda!

The Drunken City March 08 36

 EDDIE
Really?

LINDA
I want another a those pink drinks.

MELISSA
This city’s drunk! We should have never come back here for
this frickin’ party!
We’re going to find them. Then someone’s gonna talk some
sense into Marnie. Or I’m gonna kill her. Or I’m gonna kill
him. Or I’m gonna kill both of them.

EDDIE
I think I’ll wait here.

MELISSA
No you won’t. He won’t Linda. He won’t. Hey.

EDDIE
But.

MELISSA
You’re coming with us.

EDDIE
But.

MELISSA
Hey. Hey.

LINDA
I have to pee Melissa.

MELISSA
We’ll find you a bathroom. Ok come on let’s go.
Stomps off, followed by LINDA and EDDIE.

Then, music: the sound of flowers and candy at night.

On the corner of Second and Baxter.

FRANK and MARNIE enter. They kiss. They kiss. They wander.
FRANK pulls MARNIE towards him to kiss her again.

MARNIE
Listen to that.

The Drunken City March 08 37

 FRANK
What?

MARNIE
It’s quiet. It’s so quiet.

FRANK
You’re pretty.

MARNIE
SH!
She listens.
It’s been so noisy around me for so long. I haven’t been
able to think. Don’t say anything for a second just for a
She kisses him to quiet him.
She listens.
It’s so quiet.

FRANK
Kisses her.

MARNIE
You’re kissing me too loud!

FRANK
Sorry.

MARNIE
It’s just Ever since Gary asked me to marry him it’s been so
noisy everywhere.

FRANK
People get excited.

MARNIE
Do they ever. It’s crazy. It’s crazy.

FRANK
You’re pretty.

MARNIE
Once anyone hears about it, I feel them, everybody, people,
they’re crazy, they hear I’m getting married and they look
at me and it’s like, it’s, almost, they look at me and their
eyes bug out, they see what they want and then they get
really noisy.

The Drunken City March 08 38

You ever been engaged?

FRANK
No. I was gonna be but.

MARNIE
What happened?

FRANK
It was that girl Priscilla.

MARNIE
Oh.

FRANK
Yeah. She didn’t

MARNIE
Well it’s hard.

FRANK
I thought it’d be fun.

MARNIE
No it’s hard. People start watching you.

FRANK
Huh.

MARNIE
And Oh this is screwed up Frank I call my best friends I
call up Melissa or Linda or Kelly and they say “How’s it
going?” and I say “Fine” and they shout into the phone
“You’re engaged!” and I go “I know! I know!” and Linda goes
“Whoo whoo!” but at the same time in my journal I’ve been
writing things, but everything just keeps going forward, my
Mom is all “The invitations are printed! Honey! The
invitations! Look! Look!” and I’m all “They look great Mom!”
and she looks so happy.

FRANK
Kisses her. Kisses her again.

MARNIE
I’ve been unhappy about something but. And.
FRANK
Why didn’t you talk to anyone?

The Drunken City March 08 39

 MARNIE
Who am I gonna tell?

FRANK
Isn’t there someone you could

MARNIE
Last week?

FRANK
Kisses her. Kisses her again.

MARNIE
My Dad
My Dad and I were upstairs wrapping birthday presents for my
nephew and my niece,
they’re twins, they’re so cute, they both have noses that
Pushes her nose.
Cute. Cute. They are cute.
So we were upstairs and we were wrapping their presents and
my Dad says “How’re you doing?” and I burst into tears. I
was just. And.
And I tried to explain it to him I said “Dad Gary ties his
ties too tight.” and he said “Uh huh?” and I said “Really
really tight” and he looked at me He’s such a nice guy my
Dad Do you like your Dad?

FRANK
Yeah. I do.

MARNIE
Me too. I love my Dad. My Dad looked at me and I wanted to
say “I think I might have made a mistake I might have” but I
was scared because he likes Gary and they both have Toyota
Corollas and they both like watching TV together and my
Dad’s so happy I’m marrying someone like him. I didn’t want
to disappoint him.
I’m so mad at myself I couldn’t tell him the truth.

FRANK
Sometimes it’s scary to be honest.

MARNIE
I don’t know how to be.
FRANK
You don’t?

The Drunken City March 08 40

 MARNIE
No.

FRANK
Maybe you could practice.

MARNIE
Sometimes, I know I should, I have to say something, but
then I don’t.

FRANK
It’s important to learn how to be honest.

MARNIE
When Gary asked me to marry him we were at our favorite
restaurant It’s Italian and it’s really loud and by mistake
I said yes. I don’t think I was really listening. I think
maybe I was thinking about something else. And he put the
ring on my finger

FRANK
You have beautiful hands.

MARNIE
I bite my fingernails.

FRANK
Your fingers are beautiful.

MARNIE
I dunno Frank. I go to my nail lady her name’s Sondra and I
swear sometimes she looks at my hands and she turns to this
other nail lady Lucy and they say all these things in
Vietnamese.

FRANK
Every single one of your fingers
Kisses each finger on one hand.

MARNIE
I’ve got to figure this out.

FRANK
Maybe you don’t want to marry him.
MARNIE
Everybody would kill me.

The Drunken City March 08 41

 FRANK
My sister she’s always saying “A girl’s got a right to
change her mind.” That’s what she says - “A girl’s got a
right to change her mind.”

MARNIE
You’re so nice to me.

FRANK
Well

MARNIE
He makes the bed, and then he leaves his socks on the floor!

FRANK
Huh.

MARNIE
I know huh. And his shoes!

FRANK
His shoes too?

MARNIE
Yes!

FRANK
Huh.

MARNIE
I know! It’s one sock over here and there’s one over here!
On the floor!

FRANK
That’s terrible!

MARNIE
It is!

FRANK
Call the cops!

MARNIE
Frank!

The Drunken City March 08 42

 FRANK
Siren noise.

MARNIE
Cut it out!

FRANK
Explosion noise.

MARNIE
I get up in the night and his shoes and I’m clunk clunk
clunk and tripping I’m just trying to walk to the bathroom!
And he won’t clean his car. It’s completely full of crap!

FRANK
So what if his car’s a mess?

MARNIE
It’s a car full of crap!

FRANK
My car’s a mess.

MARNIE
Nobody wants to marry a messy man.

FRANK
Really?

MARNIE
Nope.

FRANK
I didn’t know that.

MARNIE
And now he wants me to clean it up. He wants me to clean up
his car. Because we’re getting married suddenly he thinks
I’m. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t I just I’m I

FRANK
Ok ok ok. Ok. Ok. Ok.

MARNIE
I’m.

FRANK

The Drunken City March 08 43

Ok ok it’s ok.

MARNIE
And I don’t think I don’t I can’t tell anyone. I don’t think
I can.

FRANK
It’s ok. Hey. You told me.

MARNIE
I don’t even know you. How would I tell my Mom? She’s just
going to tell me to clean up his car. How would I tell
Melissa?

FRANK
It’ll be ok.

MARNIE
I know I know Just give me a second. Lemme alone for a
second.

FRANK
Ok.

MARNIE
Ok?

FRANK
Yeah of course.

MARNIE
Thanks.

FRANK
Wait here for a second.
FRANK exits.
MARNIE waits.
FRANK enters. Hands MARNIE a donut.

MARNIE
Gary doesn’t like it when I eat donuts.

FRANK
Gary’s not here.

MARNIE

The Drunken City March 08 44

I’ve always been a liar. I’ve got to stop lying.

EDDIE and LINDA enter. They’re drinking beers.

EDDIE
Hi Frank.

FRANK
Hey Eddie.

LINDA
Hey Marnie.

MARNIE
Hi Linda.

EDDIE
Hey.

MARNIE
Hi.

FRANK
Hi.

LINDA
Hi.
Pause. They sit.

MARNIE
Where’s Melissa?

LINDA
She’s out looking for you. We were slowing her down.

MARNIE
Yeah?
EDDIE
She went to her car to get a map.

LINDA
She wants to make a comprehensive plan to find you guys.

MARNIE
Huh.

LINDA

The Drunken City March 08 45

Yeah.

EDDIE
She’s very determined.

LINDA
Yeah.

FRANK
Yeah?

EDDIE
Oh yeah.

LINDA
I should probably call her. Since we already found you.

MARNIE
No Linda. Don’t. Ok? Don’t?

Pause.

LINDA
So how’s it going?
FRANK
Good. Right?

MARNIE
Yeah. Good.

LINDA
Oh. Good.

EDDIE
Great.

Pause.
FRANK and MARNIE kiss.

LINDA
Oh you guys are still kissing.

MARNIE
Yeah.

FRANK

The Drunken City March 08 46

Yeah.

LINDA
Oh.

EDDIE
Oh.

Pause.

LINDA
Melissa’s not gonna like that.

EDDIE
No.

LINDA
No.
Lucky she went to get the map.

EDDIE
Yeah

MARNIE
Yeah!

FRANK
Yeah!

LINDA
You think you should be still kissing him?

MARNIE
Yeah.

FRANK
Yeah.

LINDA
Huh. Because well because. All your friends, Melissa, me,
Lori, Kelly, Bob, the whole group of us, we all All of us
promised we’d help you get married. I don’t think you should
be kissing him.
MARNIE
I’m not going to hold you to that promise.

LINDA

The Drunken City March 08 47

But then when it’s my turn with Jack how am I gonna be able
to count on you?

MARNIE
I might not want to get married.

LINDA
What?

EDDIE
Oh man!

LINDA
What?

MARNIE
I was thinking

LINDA
Oh my god.

EDDIE
Frank

MARNIE
I’m just thinking -

LINDA
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

FRANK
Take it easy.

EDDIE
Oh sure. How’s she gonna take it easy?

FRANK
She can just relax.

EDDIE
Her friend’s all messed up.

MARNIE
Who you calling?

LINDA

The Drunken City March 08 48

Bob.

MARNIE
Oh no don’t call Bob.

LINDA
I have to.

MARNIE
He’s probably asleep.

LINDA
Too late Melissa already called him!

FRANK
Who’s Bob?

LINDA
You should leave her alone!

MARNIE
Linda.

FRANK
Who’s Bob?

EDDIE
They all planned the whole wedding. She told me all about
it. They all worked on it together. It’s got a whole country
classic theme!

LINDA
I’m doing the flowers! With straw! And acorns!

EDDIE
They’re having a barn dance!

FRANK
Who’s Bob?

EDDIE
He’s making the cake.

FRANK
A country classic cake?

LINDA

The Drunken City March 08 49

Yes!

MARNIE
He’s gonna be mad.

LINDA
I’ve had enough of this Marnie. Go home and apologize to
Gary, or better yet, lie to him, or not say anything.

MARNIE
Don’t wake Bob up.

LINDA
You’re talking to him.

MARNIE
I don’t want to talk to him. He’s going to be mad at me too.

LINDA
Everyone’s going to be mad at you. You better get used to
it.

MARNIE
See? See? I told you I told you they’d all be.

FRANK
Hey. Ease up on her.

LINDA
On cellphone:
Bob? Yeah.

MARNIE
I’m not talking to him!

LINDA
To EDDIE:
Where are we?

MARNIE
Why?

EDDIE
On the corner of Second and Baxter.

LINDA
On cellphone:

The Drunken City March 08 50

On the corner of Second and Baxter. Second and Baxter.
Second and Baxter. And Baxter.

MARNIE
Just a He’s coming here? Frank.

LINDA
Whispered on cellphone:
Hurry up. Ok.

MARNIE
Where is he? Frank.

FRANK
It’s ok.

LINDA
He says Stop kissing.

MARNIE
Is he with Melissa?

LINDA
You guys can’t be kissing when he gets here. Just pretend
you aren’t at least ok?

MARNIE
Let’s get out of here. Come on Frank. Let go my arm Linda.

FRANK
Let go her arm.

LINDA
You stop it.

EDDIE
Frankie.

FRANK
What?

EDDIE
Dude! They’re having a hayride!

FRANK
She’s really pretty.

The Drunken City March 08 51

 MARNIE
See how sweet he is?

LINDA
Why can’t you leave her alone? Marnie!

FRANK
I like her.

LINDA
Hold on to them. Eddie! Make them stay here! Marnie!
On cellphone:
Melissa! Get over here quick!

MARNIE
Let go of me Linda!

LINDA
Marnie! Melissa! Marnie!

MARNIE
Let go!
MARNIE and FRANK exit.

LINDA
Eddie why didn’t you hold them?

EDDIE
You wanted me to grab at them?

LINDA
Yes! You’re no help at all!
Exiting, on cellphone:
I had’em I had’em But they’re getting away! I’m following
them!
MELISSA
Offstage, on cellphone:
Don’t lose them!
Bob she’s got them!
Don’t lose them Linda!
BOB and MELISSA enter.
Where are they? Where are they?

EDDIE
Linda went that way.

The Drunken City March 08 52

 MELISSA
On cellphone: What? What? Oh goddamn crap!

EDDIE
Hi.

BOB
Uh huh.

LINDA
Enters, on cellphone:
I lost them.
LINDA and MELISSA shut cellphones.
I lost them. Hi Bob. I don’t know, they just, they scooted
and I lost them. I’m sorry.

MELISSA
Crap.

EDDIE
Hi.

MELISSA
Crap!

LINDA
He didn’t even try to help me stop them.

EDDIE
You’re handsome.

BOB
Who are you? Who’s he? Who are you?

MELISSA
He’s Eddie. He’s the jerk’s friend.

EDDIE
Mutters.

MELISSA
He is too a jerk!
BOB
You guys are all drunk.

LINDA
They had these really pretty pink drinks that sparkled.

The Drunken City March 08 53

 MELISSA
Doesn’t matter. We have a situation Bob.

LINDA
We do. Marnie’s gone crazy.

BOB
Who are you?

EDDIE
I’m Eddie. Hi.

BOB
You’re all drunk.

EDDIE
Mutters.

BOB
You are.

MELISSA
Bob.

BOB
How come you guys didn’t invite me to the bachelorette
party?

LINDA
You’re a guy.

BOB
Yeah so? I might wanna get married one of these days.

LINDA
Oh yeah right.

MELISSA
Bob we have a situation.

BOB
I might.

LINDA

The Drunken City March 08 54

You wouldn’t of worn the tiara. You have to wear the tiara
to come to the party.

BOB
I woulda worn it.

LINDA
Oh yeah.

MELISSA
We gotta make a real plan.

BOB
Ok let’s figure this thing out. But I’m gonna talk to you
two about this not inviting me thing later. It kind of
pisses me off.

LINDA
Don’t threaten me Bob.

BOB
I’m not threatening you. I’m just mad you guys didn’t

MELISSA
Come on Bob, focus.

LINDA
Bob’s good at planning. He’ll figure this out. He was in the
army.

BOB
I was in the Marines.

MELISSA
Focus.

LINDA
Yeah yeah the Marines.

BOB
There’s a difference Linda.

LINDA
Yeah yeah.

BOB

The Drunken City March 08 55

There is!

MELISSA
Bob!

BOB
Ok.

MELISSA
Where would he take her?

EDDIE
Don’t scream at me.

BOB
We should split up.

LINDA
Good idea Bob. See? I told you.

MELISSA
Think!

EDDIE
Stop it!

BOB
And we should find them and then bring them back here.

LINDA
Yeah! Good idea Bob.

MELISSA
Think!

EDDIE
I don’t have to think, I know what he’s going to do.

MELISSA
What?

EDDIE
Frank’s gonna bring her back here.
MELISSA
That’s stupid.

LINDA

The Drunken City March 08 56

That is stupid. Isn’t that stupid Bob?

BOB
What makes you think he’ll do that?

EDDIE
Because that’s my car. He has my keys.

BOB
Oh.

MELISSA
Oh.

LINDA
Oh.

EDDIE
So we should wait here.

LINDA
We can’t just wait here.

MELISSA
We’ll split up.

LINDA
Good idea.

EDDIE
I’m staying here.

LINDA
I’m not staying with him this time. He’s like a lump. He
doesn’t even grab people when you tell him to.

MELISSA
I’m not staying with him.

LINDA
Well I’m not staying with him.

MELISSA
Well I’m not staying with him either.

LINDA

The Drunken City March 08 57

Melissa!

MELISSA
Linda!

LINDA
Bob!

BOB
Fine. You two go.

LINDA
Oh. Good idea. Ok. Ok!

MELISSA
Ok.

BOB
I’ll stay with him so if anything.

MELISSA
Ok. Check.

LINDA
Come on Come on!
Runs offstage left.

BOB
I’ll call you if anything.

MELISSA
Ok. Check.

LINDA
Runs back onstage.
Come on Come on! Melissa! Hurry it up!
Runs offstage left.

BOB
And you keep your cellphones out and call us if anything.

MELISSA
Ok. Check.
LINDA
Runs back onstage. Stands.
Let’s go! Come on! Jeez!

The Drunken City March 08 58

 MELISSA
Ok ok. Ok!

MELISSA and LINDA run off.

EDDIE
Ok so your friends?

BOB
I know.

EDDIE
They’re.

BOB
They’re all wound up.

EDDIE
Yeah well. Kinda!

BOB
Yeah well your friend -

EDDIE
What?

BOB
Your friend’s screwing up our friend’s life.

EDDIE
No.

BOB
Yes.

EDDIE
No. Your friend is screwing up her own life.

BOB
Yeah?

EDDIE
Yeah. So don’t
BOB
So don’t what?

EDDIE

The Drunken City March 08 59

Mutters: She could do a lot worse than Frank.

BOB
What?

EDDIE
Mutters: That Gary guy doesn’t sound -

BOB
It’s Melissa.

EDDIE
That one.

BOB
She’s got a broken heart.

EDDIE
Frank’s a good guy.

BOB
This guy she loved, Jason, what a dick he was and we all
knew it but love, you know, you gotta let people do what
they’re gonna do right? So Melissa. I hear about Jason and
this Jessica girl and I think “oh no” and then Melissa comes
running into work and shows me her ring and she was so
excited.
So we watch out for each other.

EDDIE
Mutters: He’s not like that.

BOB
What?

EDDIE
At least wait til you meet Frank before you judge him.

BOB
Marnie’s engaged.

EDDIE
Seems like she’s getting cold feet.
BOB
Seems like he should leave her alone.

EDDIE

The Drunken City March 08 60

I’m psyched he’s. A year ago his girlfriend Priscilla she
was finished with him and ever since he’s been He mopes. He
hasn’t done anything. So I’m kinda psyched he’s all.

BOB
Some devil’s taken over Marnie’s body. Marnie’s never done
anything like this. This is something Linda’d do.

EDDIE
Laughs.

BOB
But not Marnie.

EDDIE
Not Frank either. You should have seen him.
They’re both acting crazy.

BOB
Yeah.

EDDIE
Right?

BOB
Running around like a couple of kids.

EDDIE
Right?

BOB
Making everyone else scream and shout!

EDDIE
I know.

BOB
Crazy.

EDDIE
I know huh.

BOB
Would you ever act like that?

EDDIE

The Drunken City March 08 61

Me? No. No. No. No. Would you?

BOB
Me? No. Me neither.

EDDIE
No.

BOB
Because it’s crazy right?

EDDIE
Yeah. Yeah.
Pause.
Love’s strange though. You can fall in love just like that.

BOB
No you can’t.

EDDIE
Yeah you can.

BOB
Just like that? Boom?

EDDIE
Haven’t you ever seen someone and just thought “I’ve got to
get a lot closer to that person and ask them a whole lotta
questions”?

BOB
No.

EDDIE
Come on.

BOB
Do you go up to someone like that and ask them questions?

EDDIE
No. But Frank’s always saying I should. I always

BOB
You always protect your friend like this?

EDDIE

The Drunken City March 08 62

He’s my friend.

BOB
I like it.

EDDIE
Well.

BOB
I think I know why Marnie’s freaking out. I’m not any good
at any of this frickin love crap either. I’ve had a bunch of
boyfriends and none of them have worked out So I can’t
pretend I know what I’m doing.

EDDIE
No one does.

BOB
But I do know the whole thing’s hard. She’s probably scared.

EDDIE
I would be. Getting married.

BOB
It’s scary.

EDDIE
Yeah.

BOB
Love.

EDDIE
Yeah. Love.

BOB
Yeah. So.

EDDIE
I like that ring.

BOB
What?

EDDIE
That

The Drunken City March 08 63

 BOB
This one? It’s just silver.

EDDIE
So’s mine.

BOB
Here.
They exchange rings.

EDDIE
I like all these little patterny things.

BOB
Yeah they’re

EDDIE
I like how they

BOB
This one’s pretty simple.

EDDIE
Yeah I

BOB
It’s kinda

EDDIE
I saw it and I liked it, because it’s so plain.

BOB
Yeah it’s plain.

EDDIE
You think it’s too plain?

BOB
Huh. It fits.

EDDIE
Tries on Bob’s ring.

BOB
I got that one in Mexico. After my last boyfriend

The Drunken City March 08 64

When he broke up with me I bought it for myself.
I had to buy it for myself. I was in Mexico. And he wasn’t
in love with me any more Because he got lost in the
relationship Because I must have done something.
That’s the reason I’m sick of love. It’s too hard.

EDDIE
It’s not so hard.

BOB
It is.

EDDIE
I think love’s easy. It’s waiting for it that’s hard.

BOB
I meet a guy and at first he’s himself with me. He kisses me
because he wants to and it’s fun He’s pushing himself all up
against me and I get to push back and it’s fun He’s trying
his tricks he’s got all his tricks going and he’s juggling
and joking and that makes me laugh and it’s fun
and then
all of a sudden He falls in love and suddenly it’s all
“let’s put candles in the bathroom” and “I think I’m in
love” and
He makes googoo eyes.
Pfffft.

EDDIE
You don’t like candles?

BOB
And then he forgets who he is. And he gets mad at me for
that. And says it’s because I’m too hard on him.

EDDIE
I’m always getting dizzy. When I’m in love.

BOB
So I’m “Forget about it.”

EDDIE
Huh.

BOB

The Drunken City March 08 65

Enough’s enough. I’m done with it. And it’s ok. It’s good.
I’m ok. I work hard. I like working. I love my job. That’s
what I love.

EDDIE
Huh.

BOB
They all work at my bakery with me. On Oak Street. Near
Carlyle Park? Melissa said you’re from our town You ever
been to my bakery?

EDDIE
What’s it called?

BOB
The Sunshine Bakery.

EDDIE
Really?

BOB
It was called that when I bought it.

EDDIE
All those girls do?

BOB
Yeah.

EDDIE
Even that Melissa girl?

BOB
She’s a hard worker. And she’s loyal.

EDDIE
Uh huh.

BOB
Well not Linda. She doesn’t work with us. But she comes and
eats a lot of muffins. But Lori and Marnie and Melissa do.
And Kelly doesn’t. She has kids. Linda’s at divinity school.
She’s studying to be a minister.

EDDIE
She is?

The Drunken City March 08 66

 BOB
She’s only in her first year.

EDDIE
Yeah.

BOB
Well.

EDDIE
You’d never think of her as a.

BOB
You’re a dentist and you tap-dance. You’d never think.

EDDIE
How’d you know that?

BOB
What?

EDDIE
That I tap-dance.
BOB
Well.

EDDIE
Huh?

BOB
That’s what Melissa

EDDIE
What?

BOB
She said you.

EDDIE
She did huh?

BOB
Do you?

EDDIE
What?

The Drunken City March 08 67

 BOB
Tap-dance?

EDDIE
No. Sometimes.

BOB
Show me some.

EDDIE
What? Oh. I don’t know. Naw.

BOB
Come on.

EDDIE
Naw I’m. That’s ok no.

BOB
Come on.

EDDIE
I don’t just tap-dance for everyone.
BOB
Oh.

EDDIE
I didn’t mean

BOB
Sure.

Pause.

EDDIE
I didn’t mean

BOB
Forget it. It’s ok.

During this next section of the play BOB and EDDIE sit
watching the road. Eddie blacks out for a moment. Looks
vague. They sit.
On another street. MARNIE and FRANK enter. They are entering
a church. Alone. Sweet, dim light.

The Drunken City March 08 68

 FRANK
How’s this?

MARNIE
Are you sure we should be in here?

FRANK
This is one of the last churches in the city that doesn’t
lock its doors at night In case someone’s in trouble I
figure We’re in trouble right?

MARNIE
I’ve never been in a church in the middle of the night.

FRANK
I figured you want it quiet.

MARNIE
It’s beautiful.

FRANK
Look at the.

MARNIE
Gary would laugh.

FRANK
Why?

MARNIE
I don’t like going to church with him. He starts sitting up
straight.

FRANK
You wanna get out of here?

MARNIE
No. I like it here with you. Stop it Don’t kiss me!

FRANK
Why not?
MARNIE
It’s church!

FRANK
So?

The Drunken City March 08 69

 MARNIE
Jesus is right there!

FRANK
He doesn’t mind.

MARNIE
Frank be serious.

FRANK
I am. He’s up there smiling at us.

MARNIE
I’m not kissing you in a church. I got more important things
to figure out. Be serious.

FRANK
You were going to kiss Gary in a church.

MARNIE
You gotta help me figure this out. Please?

FRANK
Why’d you even tell him yes?

MARNIE
I wanted the wedding.

FRANK
What? That’s just

MARNIE
Because it’s gonna be a gorgeous wedding. I’m gonna wear my
Mom’s wedding dress
it’s from 1910 and her Mom wore it
and her mom’s mom wore it
and it’s satin with inlaid pearls, well not inlaid pearls,
that’s not the word I’m, and I remember when I was a tiny
girl I remember thinking “I gonna wear that dress” because
it’s the most, it’s gorgeous and I’m gonna get to be looked
at, I’m gonna,
Gary was just a prop. He was. He was just
And I knew he wanted me to say yes, so I did. I just
I kept lying
And then, worse, Frank, worse, he suddenly he he changed on
me.

The Drunken City March 08 70

 FRANK
How?

MARNIE
He started acting like a husband. How he thinks a husband
is, the world’s dangerous and he has to protect me and that
means I have to listen to him and he’s gonna tell me what to
do and I’m gonna have to act like he tells me. He’s gonna be
like his Dad. But his Mom’s this little mousy woman who
never says Boo. And I’m not gonna be her.
Uh uh.
But I just don’t know what to say to Gary.

FRANK
Make something up.

MARNIE
I want to tell him the truth. I do.

FRANK
Well then tell it.

MARNIE
It’s good you brought me here. I’m gonna need some help
doing all this. Will you wait for me?

FRANK
Of course I will.

MARNIE
I’m gonna go sit and be quiet for a minute. You’re so sweet.
I wish I’d met you before I met Gary.

She goes offstage to the altar.

FRANK waits. We can see BOB, EDDIE and FRANK all waiting
onstage.

LINDA
To audience:
Sometimes I wake up in the morning, I’m so lonely. Jack’s
already out of bed, making noise in the bathroom, bumping
around, brushing his teeth and I lie in bed and I forget
that anyone loves me and I’m too scared to call out to him.
I lie there hoping he’ll walk into our bedroom. And then he
does.

EDDIE

The Drunken City March 08 71

To audience:
I’m gonna get a dog.

BOB
To audience:
My bed has white sheets, a white duvet, a yellow blanket, a
pink blanket, a green blanket, and a pink brown and green
mohair blanket, and two pillows. The yellow blanket is
hidden, I don’t like it, it’s ugly. The pink blanket is
hidden, I don’t like it, it has holes. The green blanket is
Dutch. The mohair blanket sits on top. It was my
grandmother’s and it reminds me of her long marble hallway,
it’s careful and it’s clean and it’s cool. And I have two
pillows, because I am hopeful.

MARNIE enters.

MARNIE
You have a pen?

FRANK
Yeah I think somewhere.

MARNIE
I have to make a list of people I got to tell.

MARNIE and FRANK sit in a pew, making her list.

FRANK
Ok, who?

MARNIE
My Mom and Dad.
My brother.
My grandma. My grandpa. My nana.
My cousin Martha. My cousin Lisa. My other cousin Lisa. All
my cousins. All my. My aunts. My uncles.
I can’t.

FRANK
You can.
MARNIE
My parents’ friends. The Nashes. The Petits. The Howards.

FRANK
Your parents can tell them.

The Drunken City March 08 72

 MARNIE
My parents’ neighbors.

FRANK
Your Mom and Dad can tell them too.

MARNIE
My friends.
I can’t Frank.

FRANK
Marnie. You can.

MARNIE
Gary’s parents.
Gary.
I can’t.

FRANK
Ok.
Ok.

MARNIE
I can’t. I can’t.
I made too big a mistake.

They sit in a pew.

Back with the others:

MELISSA enters.

BOB
Did you see them?

MELISSA
Nope.

EDDIE
Let’s go home.

MELISSA
We’re not going home. Bob. Linda. We’re not going home.

BOB
We made a promise.

The Drunken City March 08 73

 EDDIE
To Bob:
We’re not going to be able to help them. She’s all worked
up. You don’t think people can fall in love. I’m dizzy.

LINDA
I drink too much.

EDDIE
She drinks too much. What makes you think we can help our
friends when we can’t even - ?

BOB
Hisses:
I think people can fall in love.

EDDIE
Yeah. Sure.

MELISSA
We’re not leaving here until we stop Marnie from kissing
that guy. We made a promise. Sit down.
They all do.
MELISSA stares into the distance. Then:
The world tilts, MELISSA, LINDA, BOB and EDDIE slide
offstage, MARNIE and FRANK slide onstage.
The world tilts back the other way, BOB slides back onstage.

BOB
Marnie!

The world tilts, BOB slides offstage. MARNIE and FRANK hold
onto something and manage to stay onstage.
The world tilts back, BOB and EDDIE slide onstage.

BOB
Marnie!

EDDIE
Frankie!

The world tilts, BOB and EDDIE slide offstage. MARNIE and
FRANK manage to stay onstage.
The world tilts back, BOB and EDDIE and LINDA slide onstage.

BOB
Marnie!

The Drunken City March 08 74

 EDDIE
Frankie!

LINDA
Melissa!

The world’s stomach rumbles. Then: MELISSA enters. They all

eye each other.

MELISSA
Well.

MARNIE
Hi Melissa.

MELISSA
Marnie. Where the hell have you been?

MARNIE
I had to go off and think.

MELISSA
Yeah well we were worried sick. We don’t even know that guy.

MARNIE
He’s my banker.

MELISSA
That’s right. He’s a banker and you just went off with him.
Just left us and ran off into the night, drunk and stupid
and we had to go looking for you and you’re with some banker
and you’re ridiculous and drunk and stupid.

LINDA
I’m drunk too.

MELISSA
Shut up Linda.

MARNIE
I’m not going to marry Gary.

Lights get bright for a second. Everyone but LINDA sobers

up.

The Drunken City March 08 75

 MELISSA
What?

BOB
Oh no here we go.

MELISSA
What?

MARNIE
I’m not.

LINDA
See! I told you! She’s not going to marry Gary!

BOB
What are you talking about Marnie?

MARNIE
Bob I’m

MELISSA
Yes you are.

LINDA
Yes you are!

MARNIE
No I’m not.

LINDA
No she’s not!

MELISSA
Yes you are Don’t be stupid Of course you are

LINDA
You’re being stupid!
MARNIE
I am not.

LINDA
This is terrible!
Sits down. Cries.

MELISSA

The Drunken City March 08 76

You’re giving me a headache. Anyone got any ibuprophen? I
gotta get a glass of water.

MARNIE
I changed my mind. A girl’s got a right to change her mind.
Linda.

MELISSA
No you don’t!

MARNIE
It’s ok Linda.

LINDA
It’s not ok! We bought dresses! Bob!

BOB
They bought dresses.

EDDIE
Frank She’s a bride

MELISSA
Yeah.

EDDIE
She’s someone else’s fiancee

MELISSA
Yeah!

LINDA
And we already bought our dresses!

FRANK
She doesn’t want to marry him.

BOB
Oh no here we go.
FRANK
She doesn’t.

MARNIE
I don’t.

EDDIE
You don’t?

The Drunken City March 08 77

 MELISSA
She does too!

BOB
Talk some sense into him Eddie.

EDDIE
He’s not going to listen to me.

BOB
Eddie.

EDDIE
He doesn’t listen to anyone.

FRANK
I do too.

EDDIE
You didn’t listen to Priscilla.

FRANK
Well maybe I’ve learned how to. You think about that Eddie?

EDDIE
Ok then Ok You gonna listen? She’s drunk.

FRANK
Who?

EDDIE
Her!

FRANK
Eddie.

EDDIE
She is!
MELISSA
Yeah!

BOB
Yeah.

LINDA
Yeah!

The Drunken City March 08 78

 MARNIE
I’m not drunk.

MELISSA
Yeah you are.

EDDIE
You are.

LINDA
Marnie.

FRANK
You are.
MARNIE
Only a little.

BOB
Well.

EDDIE
To FRANK.
And you’re drunk too.

LINDA
And I’m drunk.

FRANK
Ignores Linda.
Yeah so?

EDDIE
You’re both drunk. But she’s gonna sober up.

BOB
She is.

FRANK
What do you know You never even try to fall in love.

LINDA
We bought dresses! And GLOVES!

EDDIE
When she’s sober she’s gonna wanna marry him.

The Drunken City March 08 79

 BOB
She is.

MELISSA
You are!

MARNIE
I am not!

BOB
You wanted to before.

MELISSA
You love him.

FRANK
She’s so pretty.

MARNIE
Oh Frankie.
They kiss. The city tilts. They all stumble.

MELISSA
God-frickin-damn Marnie Stop it!

MARNIE
What?

MELISSA
You love him. You love Gary. Listen to me.

MARNIE
I do. I know. I do.

FRANK
What?

MARNIE
I do.

EDDIE
See?

LINDA
See Frank see?

The Drunken City March 08 80

 MELISSA
She loves him. She loves him.

EDDIE
She loves him. Frank. Listen to her.

FRANK
You do?

MARNIE
I do.

EDDIE
Listen to her What’d she just say?

FRANK
You do?

MARNIE
But.

FRANK
But what?

BOB
But what?

MELISSA
But what?

FRANK
Hey.
But what Marnie?

MARNIE
I’m not in love with him. I wanted to be but I’m not. I’m
not Melissa. I’m not. I’m not. I’m sorry.

FRANK
See? She’s not in love with him!

MELISSA
You made a promise. You made a promise! Are you just gonna
break that promise?

MARNIE

The Drunken City March 08 81

Just because Jason treated you rotten doesn’t mean I have to
marry Gary.

LINDA
Marnie.

EDDIE
Marnie.

BOB
Marnie.

MARNIE
People change their minds!

BOB
Still.

LINDA
Jason.

MARNIE
They do!

LINDA
Mutters:
You don’t have to bring up Jason.

BOB
Yeah.

MARNIE
People make poor choices Make mistakes Get to change their
minds.

MELISSA
No.

MARNIE
Yes.

MELISSA
No.

MARNIE

The Drunken City March 08 82

I’m dishonest and Gary is perfectly happy not hearing the
truth from me. We’re a terrible match.

MELISSA
You’re a stupid selfish woman. You don’t care about anyone.

FRANK
Melissa.

EDDIE
Frank, don’t.

MARNIE
No?

MELISSA
No.

FRANK
Melissa.

EDDIE
Don’t. Frank. Let’m.

MARNIE
All I do is care about people.

MELISSA
Clucks.

MARNIE
What they want. How I can make them happy. It’s true. It’s
how I got into this mess.
And he doesn’t love me.

MELISSA
He does.

MARNIE
He wants to be married.
MELISSA
Same thing!

MARNIE
No.

BOB

The Drunken City March 08 83

No.

LINDA
No.

MELISSA
Yes it is!

BOB
No. It isn’t.

MELISSA
She took Gary He’s a good guy He’s a good guy A and she
strung him along She made him promises She tangled up his
heart She made him hope Made him hope
And now he’s under her heel and she’s just
And his life is ruined

MARNIE
Shut up.

MELISSA
She’s ruined his life. You ruined his life!

MARNIE
That’s it. I’m done with you.

MELISSA
What?

MARNIE
That’s it Melissa. That’s it. Done.

MELISSA
What?

MARNIE
I’m not listening to you I’m finished. Linda, make her
leave.

LINDA
What Marnie?

MARNIE
Bob get her out of here.

BOB

The Drunken City March 08 84

Marnie.

MELISSA
Marnie.

MARNIE
I’M NOT TALKING TO YOU ANYMORE!

MELISSA
You coming Linda?

LINDA
What?

MARNIE
Linda.

LINDA
What?

MELISSA
Linda?

LINDA
Marnie You’re the reason the world is scary I can’t People
changing their minds What if Jack Jason left Melissa You’re
leaving Gary What if Jack This is terrible!

MELISSA
She doesn’t want me here any more. Are you coming?

LINDA
Come on Marnie Melissa come on Don’t

MELISSA
She’s finished with me.

LINDA
Marnie We’ve all been friends forever

MARNIE
No.

LINDA
Marnie come on

MARNIE

The Drunken City March 08 85

Go with her It’s ok I’ll call you later

LINDA
Bob

BOB
Go on.

LINDA
Quietly: Marnie. Please.

Then: LINDA and MELISSA exit.

MARNIE
Because even if he’s in love with me and, I can do that, I
can be the person someone is in love with, I can do that
Bob, I can, what I can’t do, I’m not so good at being the
person in love with someone else. So

BOB
It’s hard to be alone Marnie.

MARNIE
Bobby?

BOB
Are you sure you want to be alone?

MARNIE
I can’t marry him.

BOB
Ok.

MARNIE
I can’t.

BOB
Marnie

MARNIE
What do you know about love?

BOB
Ok.
BOB exits.

The Drunken City March 08 86

 MARNIE
That was. I just
Long long difficult pause.
I’m going to go grab that cab.
MARNIE exits. They watch her leave.

EDDIE
Huh.

FRANK
Come on Eddie. I gotta go home and clean my car.

THREE.

LINDA
In a spotlight.
I saw the city
I saw the city
The City opened its mouth
I saw its teeth
I saw the city
I saw the dragon
And it turned
The world turned
Walking on the path
It follows
Walking on the path
It follows me

Something is wrong
Something is wrong inside
Something is wrong
Something is wrong inside
And I was home
I brought the dragon home
I brought the city home
And Its teeth

It’s at the end of the hall

At the end of the hall
AND IF THE DOOR OPENS
IF I SEE IT
AND I
AND

The Drunken City March 08 87

FOUR.

The hangover.
It is the next day. Early afternoon.
The street near BOB’s bakery. MARNIE sits on the sidewalk
curb. BOB, wearing a baker’s apron, enters.

MARNIE
Hi.

BOB
Hi. What are you doing sitting out here?

MARNIE
Looks at him.

BOB
You look tired.

MARNIE
I am. I had such a headache when I woke up this morning. I
took four Tylenols.

BOB
I bet.

MARNIE
I called Linda
Pause.

BOB
How’s she doing?

MARNIE
She’s Ok. She said she woke up and she opened her eyes and
it was so sunny and she got up and went out into her garden
and you know how her tomato plants are doing so well and her
zucchini and her eggplant and she was all happy and picked
some She said they were such bright red tomatoes and she was
all “I’m going to make ratatouille!” and she was cutting up
the vegetables and all of sudden she said she had this
terrible thought She thought “I don’t remember anyone else
talking last night.” And she was so panicked.

BOB

The Drunken City March 08 88

She’s gotta stop drinking.

MARNIE
Well.

BOB
Did you talk?

MARNIE
Yeah. Linda and I We’re always gonna be ok. She made me
laugh. She read me something this guy Thoreau said. I didn’t
understand it.

Melissa enters. She and Marnie look at each other. Melissa

exits.

BOB
You gonna talk to her?

MARNIE
Bob.

BOB
Are you?

MARNIE
No.
Long pause.
I talked to him.

BOB
Gary?

MARNIE
This morning.

BOB
Huh.

MARNIE
Yeah. He’s really upset. He doesn’t believe me but I can
kinda tell he does.

BOB
You give him back his ring?

The Drunken City March 08 89

 MARNIE
Uh hm. He wanted me to keep it but I gave it back to him.
That’s what made him cry.
Pause.
I kept smiling at him but.
And I told my Mom and Dad. And my Mom cried and then she was
really mad. And went and made the beds.
My Dad just

BOB
They’ll
MARNIE
I’m sorry I said that about you. Last night. It was mean.

BOB
It’s ok.

MARNIE
I am Bobby I’m sorry. You know lots about love.

BOB
It’s ok. I really don’t. You were right. Why do you think I
hang around you guys? I gotta learn about this stupid love
stuff somewhere. I figure one of you guys is gonna figure it
out.

MARNIE
Maybe Can I Um
Can I tell you something?

BOB
Is it going to hurt my feelings?

MARNIE
No.

BOB
Is it?

MARNIE
No it’s just
Something I noticed?

BOB
Ok.

The Drunken City March 08 90

 MARNIE
Can I?

BOB
Yeah yeah Tell Me.

MARNIE
Well I was wondering
Do you think maybe you love too hard?

BOB
What?

MARNIE
Maybe you could love a little easier. Is all.

Pause.

BOB
That’s what he said.

MARNIE
Yeah.

BOB
That’s what he said.

MARNIE
Well maybe
Pause.
Maybe he was trying to tell you something.

Pause.

BOB
So
How?

MARNIE
Maybe
When you get nervous Or something isn’t
You could take a breath.
Instead of doing anything.

BOB

The Drunken City March 08 91

Really?

MARNIE
Maybe?

BOB
That’d be a big change for me.

MARNIE
If it’s something you gotta do, you gotta do it. Right?

BOB
I don’t think I could.

MARNIE
You could do it.

BOB
You think?

MARNIE
I don’t know how I’m supposed to do what I’ve got to do.

BOB
You’ll figure it out.

MARNIE
“You think?”

BOB
I know It’s really hard not being who people want you to be.
If there’s anything I know, it’s that. Remember when my Mom
She was all “No son of mine” “My son isn’t going to”
Remember how upset she was about me? She didn’t want me to
be a baker.
But. She’s ok with it now.
Honesty’s hard It’s
That’s why people are always saying you gotta
It’s a simple thing but it’s the hardest thing.
But you gotta.
MARNIE
You done?

BOB
Your problem is Something shows up and you should say
something and you’re “I gotta get out of here.”

The Drunken City March 08 92

 MARNIE
You done Bob?

LINDA
Enters.
Hi. Hey Bob.

MARNIE
Hi.

BOB
Hi Linda.

LINDA
Hi Bob.
Pause.
Last night huh? It was.

BOB
Yeah.

LINDA
Huh?

BOB
Yeah.
Pause.

LINDA
Crazy.
Laughs.
I loved it when
Pause.
It was.

MARNIE
Hm.

Long awkward pause.

LINDA
Off-handed.
Jack and I are going to stop drinking. Yeah. He doesn’t want
to drink any more. Because he. I talked to him. So I’m going
to With him.

MARNIE

The Drunken City March 08 93

Oh.

BOB
Yeah?

LINDA
He doesn’t want to any more. Because he.
Long pause.
I don’t really want to drink any more either.

MARNIE
That sounds. Actually.

BOB
Yeah.

LINDA
A short laugh.
Then:
Did you tell him?

MARNIE
No.

BOB
Tell me what?

LINDA
Why not?

MARNIE
I was just about to.

LINDA
You should just tell him.

MARNIE
I’m gonna.

LINDA
Oh.

BOB
Tell me what?

MARNIE

The Drunken City March 08 94

I came to tell you I’m not going to work at the bakery any
more.

BOB
What?

MARNIE
I’m going to get an apartment in the city.

BOB
Oh. Why?

LINDA
Because she’s gotta.

MARNIE
Linda.

LINDA
Sorry.

BOB
Why?

MARNIE
Because I have to.
They sit in silence. Then:
FRANK and EDDIE enter.

BOB
So when are you

FRANK
Hi Marnie.

MARNIE
Hi.

FRANK
Hi. Hi. Awesome. I hoped I’d
EDDIE
Hi Bob. Hi Linda.

BOB
Hey Eddie.

The Drunken City March 08 95

 LINDA
Hi.

BOB
You found us.

EDDIE
Yeah. The Sunshine Bakery.

LINDA
Hi Frank.

EDDIE
Sits.
I’m being moral support.
BOB
Oh huh.

LINDA
For what?

FRANK
Hi Bob.

BOB
Frank.

FRANK
Um Marnie?

MARNIE
Yeah?

FRANK
Can I talk to you for a minute?

MARNIE
Sure What?

FRANK
Over here?
BOB, EDDIE and LINDA sit on the curb and watch.

BOB
Oh no here we go.

MARNIE

The Drunken City March 08 96

Why?

FRANK
Please?

MARNIE
Ok.

FRANK
You still not marrying Gary?

MARNIE
No.

FRANK
You’re sure?

MARNIE
Yeah.

FRANK
Because, if you’re not marrying him, can I take you out to
dinner?

MARNIE
What?

FRANK
I want to take you out to dinner tonight.

MARNIE
I heard you.

FRANK
Since you’re not marrying him.

MARNIE
Frank Don’t start with me. Did you just hear what he asked
me?

FRANK
I do.

MARNIE
I’m warning you. Listen to me

The Drunken City March 08 97

 FRANK
What? I just want to take you out to dinner -

MARNIE
Goddamn it!
Storms out. EDDIE, BOB and LINDA sit watching.
Pause.
Storms in.
Frank You He’s You You’re a pain in the ass!

BOB
Ok then!

LINDA
Ok!

FRANK
I just wanted

MARNIE
You’re a huge frigging pain in the ass!

FRANK
Shouts.
I just want to take you to dinner!

MARNIE
Shouts.
Yeah well! You’re a huge frigging pain!

FRANK
Yeah!

MARNIE
I gotta move out of our apartment, I gotta start over, and
you!

FRANK
Ok.

MARNIE
I’ve gotta spend some time

FRANK
Hey watch this.

The Drunken City March 08 98

FRANK dances. Should be a simple solo love dance. Not too
short. Sincere and a bit funny. He means it.

MARNIE
Frank.

FRANK
I couldn’t sleep last night. So I made you that. Cause I was
thinking after you left and all night-I could love you like
that Marnie-the way you want.

Long silence.

MARNIE
Quiet.
Oh you could Frank?

FRANK
I could.

MARNIE
What way is that?

FRANK
Me being in love, but not too much, and letting you be
yourself.

MARNIE
Frank.

FRANK
FRANK dances a little.

MARNIE
Frank.

FRANK
I was listening to you.

MARNIE
Frank.

FRANK
Smiles.

MARNIE
Don’t smile at me that way.

The Drunken City March 08 99

 FRANK
Yeah. Ok. No.
Smiles.

MARNIE
I never learned to fall in love. I don’t know how to do it.

FRANK
You could learn with me.

MARNIE
I don’t think so. Listen to me Frank. I’m telling you the
truth: Don’t smile at me.

FRANK
Marnie.
MARNIE doesn’t answer him.
Ok. Eddie You coming?

EDDIE
I’m going to hang out here for a bit.

FRANK
You are?

EDDIE
I’ll hook a ride home.

FRANK
Oh. Ok. Ok. See ya.

BOB
See ya Frank.
FRANK exits. Pause. Then:

LINDA
You ok?

BOB
Sure she’s ok. That was good You see her? She just told him
That was good.
LINDA
Yeah.

MARNIE
Deep, frightened breath.

The Drunken City March 08 100

 BOB
Now go in there and tell Melissa Tell her what you

MARNIE
No.

BOB
Come on champ.

MARNIE
No.

BOB
Marnie

MARNIE
No. Bob. I’m not going to. She and me, we’re.
Pause.

LINDA
Ok.

MARNIE
I’m not going to.

LINDA
Ok.
Pause.

BOB.
Ok.

LINDA
Let’s go over to my house.

BOB
Yeah Linda take her over to your house.

LINDA
Ok.

BOB
That’s what you should do.

LINDA
Ok Bob ok.

The Drunken City March 08 101

 BOB
What?

LINDA
What.

MARNIE
Ok.

BOB
Ok.

LINDA
Ok.

MARNIE
Ok. See ya Eddie.

EDDIE
Bye.

LINDA
Ok. Bye.

BOB
Bye. See ya Marnie.

MARNIE
Bye Bobby.
MARNIE and LINDA exit.

BOB
Kids. Jeez.

EDDIE
I know huh.

BOB
You gotta tell them how to do everything.

EDDIE
Right?

BOB
I thought that dance was going to work.

The Drunken City March 08 102

 EDDIE
He’s probably going to call her tomorrow. Knowing Frankie.

BOB
Tell him not to.

EDDIE
He’s brave isn’t he? He just goes for it He It’s brave to
put all your cards out on the table like that.

Pause.

BOB
Oh hey I wanted to. I have your ring.

EDDIE
Oh. I forgot we. Yeah. You can keep mine if you want. I like
yours.

BOB
Oh. Ok. Well.

EDDIE
Unless you want it back. No. Here.

BOB
No no you can keep it.

EDDIE
Really?

BOB
Sure.

EDDIE
Oh right on. Cause I like yours.

BOB
I like this one.

EDDIE
Cool.

BOB
This one’s good.

The Drunken City March 08 103

 EDDIE
Ok then.

BOB
Ok then.

EDDIE
Hey I wanted to show you Remember how I wouldn’t
Still sitting on the curb EDDIE does a very small tap step.

BOB
That’s.

EDDIE
I didn’t mean to be rude last night.

BOB
No.

EDDIE
I get shy. I don’t know why.

BOB
How do you do that?

EDDIE
It’s easy.

BOB
Yeah right it’s easy. It looks hard.

EDDIE
No it is. Watch.
Still sitting EDDIE shows BOB a very very simple tap step.
Try it. First. Yeah. Then. Yeah ok. No. Yeah. Right.
Right?
EDDIE kisses BOB quickly.

BOB
Got tired of waiting huh?

EDDIE
You gonna make this hard on me?

BOB
No. No.

The Drunken City March 08 104

 EDDIE
Looks at BOB.

Pause.

BOB
Takes breath.
No.

EDDIE
Ok then.

BOB
Ok then.

EDDIE
Ok.
They sit.
END.

The Drunken City March 08 105