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CHAPTER 1

INTERCORPORATE ACQUISITIONS AND INVESTMENTS IN OTHER

ENTITIES
ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS

Q1-1 Complex organizational structures often result when companies do

business in a complex business environment. New subsidiaries or other entities
may be formed for purposes such as extending operations into foreign
countries, seeking to protect existing assets from risks associated with entry
into new product lines, separating activities that fall under regulatory controls,
and reducing taxes by separating certain types of operations.

Q1-2 The split-off and spin-off result in the same reduction of reported assets
and liabilities. Only the stockholders’ equity accounts of the company are
different. The number of shares outstanding remains unchanged in the case of
a spin-off and retained earnings or paid-in capital is reduced. Shares of the
parent are exchanged for shares of the subsidiary in a split-off, thereby
reducing the outstanding shares of the parent company.

Q1-3 The management of Enron appears to have used special-purpose entities

to avoid reporting debt on its balance sheet and to create fictional transactions
that resulted in reported income. It also transferred bad loans and investments
to special-purpose entities to avoid recognizing losses in its income statement.

Q1-4 (a) A statutory merger occurs when one company acquires another
company and the assets and liabilities of the acquired company are transferred
to the acquiring company; the acquired company is liquidated, and only the
acquiring company remains.

(b) A statutory consolidation occurs when a new company is formed to acquire

the assets and liabilities of two combining companies. The combining
companies dissolve, and the new company is the only surviving entity.

(c) A stock acquisition occurs when one company acquires a majority of the
common stock of another company and the acquired company is not
liquidated; both companies remain as separate but related corporations.

Q1-5 A noncontrolling interest exists when the acquiring company gains

control but does not own all the shares of the acquired company. The non-
controlling interest is made up of the shares not owned by the acquiring
company.

Q1-6 Goodwill is the excess of the sum of (1) the fair value given by the
acquiring company, (2) the fair value of any shares already owned by the
parent and (3) the acquisition-date fair value of any noncontrolling interest
over the acquisition-date fair value of the net identifiable assets acquired in
the business combination.

Q1-7 The level of ownership acquired does not impact the amount of goodwill
reported under the acquisition method..
Q1-8 The total difference at the acquisition date between the sum of (1) the
fair value given by the acquiring company, (2) the fair value of any shares
already owned by the parent and (3) the acquisition-date fair value of any
noncontrolling interest and thevalue of the net identifiable assets acquired is
referred to as the differential.
Q1-9 The purchase of a company is viewed in the same way as any other
purchase of assets. The acquired company is owned by the acquiring company
only for the portion of the year subsequent to the combination. Therefore,
earnings are accrued only from the date of purchase forward.

Q1-10 None of the retained earnings of the subsidiary should be carried

forward under the acquisition method. Thus, consolidated retained earnings
immediately following an acquisition is limited to the balance reported by the
acquiring company.

Q1-11 Additional paid-in capital reported following a business combination is

the amount previously reported on the acquiring company’s books plus the
excess of the fair value over the par or stated value of any shares issued by the
acquiring company in completing the acquisition less any sock issue costs.

Q1-12 When the acquisition method is used, all costs incurred in bringing
about the combination are expensed as incurred. None are capitalized.
However, costs associated with the issuance of stock are recorded as a
reduction of additional paid-in capital.

Q1-13 When the acquiring company issues shares of stock to complete a

business combination, the excess of the fair value of the stock issued over its
par value is recorded as additional paid-in capital. All costs incurred by the
acquiring company in issuing the securities should be treated as a reduction in
the additional paid-in capital. Items such as audit fees associated with the
registration of the new securities, listing fees, and brokers’ commissions should
be treated as reductions of additional paid-in capital when stock is issued.

Q1-14 If the fair value of a reporting unit acquired in a business combination

exceeds its carrying amount, the goodwill of that reporting unit is considered
unimpaired. On the other hand, if the carrying amount of the reporting unit
exceeds its fair value, impairment of goodwill is implied. An impairment must
be recognized if the carrying amount of the goodwill assigned to the reporting
unit is greater than the implied value of the carrying unit’s goodwill. The
implied value of the reporting unit’s goodwill is determined as the excess of
the fair value of the reporting unit over the fair value of its net identifiable
assets.

Q1-15 When the fair value of the consideration given in a business

combination, along with the fair value of any equity interest in the acquiree
already held and the fair value of any noncontrolling interest in the acquiree, is
less than the fair value of the acquiree’s net identifiable assets, a bargain
purchase results.

Q1-16 The acquirer should record the clarification of the acquisition-date fair
value of buildings as a reduction to buildings and addition to goodwill.
.
Q1-17 The acquirer must revalue the equity position to its fair value at the
acquisition date and recognize a gain. A total of $250,000 ($25 x 10,000
shares) would be recognized in this case assuming that the $65 per share price
is the appropriate fair value for all shares (i.e. there is no control premium for
the new shares purchased).
SOLUTIONS TO CASES

C1-1 Assignment of Acquisition Costs

MEMO

To: Vice-President of Finance

Troy Company

From: CPA
Re: Recording Acquisition Costs of Business Combination
Troy Company incurred a variety of costs in acquiring the ownership of Kline
Company and transferring the assets and liabilities of Kline to Troy Company. I
was asked to review the relevant accounting literature and provide my
recommendations as to what was the appropriate treatment of the costs
incurred in the acquisition of Kline Company.

Current accounting standards require that acquired companies be valued

under ASC 805 at the fair value of the consideration given in the exchange,
plus the fair value of any shares of the acquiree already held by the acquirer,
plus the fair value of any noncontrolling interest in the acquiree at the
combination date [ASC 805]. All other acquisition-related costs directly
traceable to an acquisition should be accounted for as expenses in the period
incurred [ASC 805]. The costs incurred in issuing common or preferred stock in
a business combination are required to be treated as a reduction of the
recorded amount of the securities (which would be a reduction to additonal
paid-in capital if the stock has a par value or a reduction to common stock for
no par stock).

A total of $720,000 was paid in completing the Kline acquisition. The

$200,000 finders’ fee and $90,000 legal fees for transferring Kline’s assets and
liabilities to Troy should be recorded by Kline as acquisition expense in 20X7.
The $60,000 payment for stock registration and audit fees should be recorded
as a reduction of paid-in capital recorded when the Troy Company shares are
issued to acquire the shares of Kline. The only cost potentially at issue is the
$370,000 legal fees resulting from the litigation by the shareholders of Kline. If
this cost is considered to be a direct acquisition cost, it should be included in
acquisition expense. If, on the other hand, it is considered to be related to the
issuance of the shares, it should be debited to paid-in capital.

Primary citation
ASC 805

C1-2 Evaluation of Merger

Page numbers refer to the page in the 3M 2005 10-K report.

a. The CUNO acquisition improved 3M’s product mix by adding a

comprehensive line of filtration products for the separation, clarification and
purification of fluids and gases (p. 4).
The CUNO acquisition added 5.1 percent to Industrial sales growth (p.13), and
was the primary reason for a 1.0 percent increase in total sales in 2005 (p. 15).

b. The acquisition was funded primarily by debt (p.27): The Company

generates significant ongoing cash flow. Net debt decreased significantly in
2004, but increased in 2005, primarily related to the $1.36 billion CUNO
acquisition.

c. As of December 31, 2005, the CUNO acquisition increased accounts

receivable by $88 million (p. 27).

d. At December 31, 2005, the CUNO acquisition increased inventories by $56

million. Currency translation reduced inventories by $89 million year-on-year
(p. 27).
C1-3 Business Combinations

It is very difficult to develop a single explanation for any series of events.

Merger activity in the United States is impacted by events both within the U.S.
economy and those around the world. As a result, there are many potential
answers to the questions posed in this case.

a. The most commonly discussed factors associated with the merger activity of
the 1990s relate to the increased profitability of businesses. In the past,
increases in profitability typically have been associated with increases in sales.
The increased profitability of companies in the 1990s, however, more
commonly has been associated with decreased costs. Even though sales
remained relatively flat, profits increased. Nearly all business entities appear to
have gone through one or more downsizing events during the 1990s. Fewer
employees now are delivering the same amount of product to customers.
Lower inventory levels and reduced investment in production facilities now are
needed due to changes in production processes and delivery schedules. Thus,
less investment in facilities and fewer employees have resulted in greater
profits.

Companies generally have been reluctant to distribute the increased profits to

shareholders through dividends. The result has been a number of companies
with substantially increased cash reserves. This, in turn, has led management to
look about for other investment alternatives, and cash buyouts have become
more frequent in this environment.
In addition to high levels of cash on hand providing an incentive for business
combinations, easy financing through debt and equity also provided
encouragement for acquisitions. Throughout the nineties, interest rates were
very low and borrowing was generally easy. With the enormous stock-price
gains of the mid-nineties, companies found that they had a very valuable
resource in shares of their stock. Thus, stock acquisitions again came into
favor.
b. One factor that may have prompted the greater use of stock in business
combinations recently is that many of the earlier combinations that had been
effected through the use of debt had unraveled. In many cases, the debt
burden was so heavy that the combined companies could not meet debt
payments. Thus, this approach to financing mergers had somewhat fallen from
favor by the mid-nineties. Further, with the spectacular rise in the stock
market after 1994, many companies found that their stock was worth much
more than previously. Accordingly, fewer shares were needed to acquire other
companies.

c. Two of major factors appear to have had a significant influence on the

merger movement in the mid-2000s. First, interest rates were very low during
that time, and a great amount of unemployed cash was available worldwide.
Many business combinations were effected through significant borrowing.
Second, private equity funds pooled money from various institutional investors
and wealthy individuals and used much of it to acquire companies.
Many of the acquisitions of this time period involved private equity funds or
companies that acquired other companies with the goal of making quick
changes and selling the companies for a profit. This differed from prior merger
periods where acquiring companies were often looking for long-term
acquisitions that would result in synergies.

In late 2008, a mortgage crisis spilled over into the credit markets in general,
and money for acquisitions became hard to get. This in turn caused many
planned or possible mergers to be canceled. In addition, the economy in
general faltered toward the end of 2008 and into 2009.

d. Establishing incentives for corporate mergers is a controversial issue. Many

people in our society view mergers as not being in the best interests of society
because they are seen as lessening competition and often result in many
people losing their jobs. On the other hand, many mergers result in companies
that are more efficient and can compete better in a global economy; this in
turn may result in more jobs and lower prices. Even if corporate mergers are
viewed favorably, however, the question arises as to whether the government,
and ultimately the taxpayers, should be subsidizing those mergers through tax
incentives. Many would argue that the desirability of individual corporate
mergers, along with other types of investment opportunities, should be
determined on the basis of the merits of the individual situations rather than
through tax incentives.

Perhaps the most obvious incentive is to lower capital gains tax rates.
Businesses may be more likely to invest in other companies if they can sell
their ownership interests when it is convenient and pay lesser tax rates.
Another alternative would include exempting certain types of intercorporate
income. Favorable tax status might be given to investment in foreign
companies through changes in tax treaties. As an alternative, barriers might be
raised to discourage foreign investment in United States, thereby increasing
the opportunities for domestic firms to acquire ownership of other companies.

e. In an ideal environment, the accounting and reporting for economic events

would be accurate and timely and would not influence the economic decisions
being reported. Any change in reporting requirements that would increase or
decrease management’s ability to “manage” earnings could impact
management’s willingness to enter new or risky business fields and affect the
level of business combinations. Greater flexibility in determining which
subsidiaries are to be consolidated, the way in which intercorporate income is
calculated, the elimination of profits on intercompany transfers, or the process
used in calculating earnings per share could impact such decisions. The
processes used in translating foreign investment into United States dollars also
may impact management’s willingness to invest in domestic versus
international alternatives.
C1-4 Determination of Goodwill Impairment

MEMO

TO: Chief Accountant

Plush Corporation

From: CPA

Re: Determining Impairment of Goodwill

Once goodwill is recorded in a business combination, it must be accounted for
in accordance with current accounting literature. Goodwill is carried forward at
the original amount without amortization, unless it becomes impaired. The
amount determined to be goodwill in a business combination must be assigned
to the reporting units of the acquiring entity that are expected to benefit from
the synergies of the combination. [ ASC 350-20-35-41]

This means the total amount assigned to goodwill may be divided among a
number of reporting units. Goodwill assigned to each reporting unit must be
tested for impairment annually and between the annual tests in the event
circumstances arise that would lead to a possible decrease in the fair value of
the reporting unit below its carrying amount [ ASC 350-20-35-30].

As long as the fair value of the reporting unit is greater than its carrying value,
goodwill is not considered to be impaired. If the fair value is less than the
carrying value, a second test must be performed. An impairment loss must be
reported if the carrying amount of reporting unit goodwill exceeds the implied
fair value of that goodwill. [ASC 350-20-35-11]

At the date of acquisition, Plush Corporation recognized goodwill of $20,000

($450,000 – $430,000) and assigned it to a single reporting unit. Even though
the fair value of the reporting unit increased to $485,000 at December 31,
20X5, Plush Corporation must test for impairment of goodwill if the carrying
value of Plush’s investment in the reporting unit is above that amount. That
would be the case if the carrying value is $500,000. In the second test, the fair
value of the reporting unit’s net assets, excluding goodwill, is deducted from
the fair value of the reporting unit ($485,000) to determine the amount of
implied goodwill at that date. If the fair value of the net assets is less than
$465,000, the amount of implied goodwill is more than $20,000 and no
impairment of goodwill is assumed to have occurred. On the other hand, if the
fair value of the net assets is greater than $465,000, the amount of implied
goodwill is less than $20,000 and an impairment of goodwill must be recorded.

With the information provided, we do not know if there has been an

impairment of the goodwill involved in the purchase of Common Corporation;
however, Plush must follow the procedures outlined above in testing for
impairment at December 31, 20X5.

Primary citations
ASC 350-20-35-11
ASC 350-20-35-30
ASC 350-20-35-41

C1-5 Risks Associated with Acquisitions

Google discloses on page 21 of its 2006 Form 10-K that it does not have
significant experience acquiring companies. It also notes that most acquisitions
the company has already completed have been small companies. The specific
risk areas identified include:

• The potential need to implement controls, procedures, and policies

appropriate for a public company that were not already in place in the acquired
company

• Potential difficulties in integrating the accounting, management information,

human resources, and other administrative systems.

• The use of management time on acquisitions-related activities that may

temporarily divert attention from operating activities

• Potential difficulty in integrating the employees of an acquired company into

the Google organization

• Retaining employees who worked for companies that Google acquires

• Anticipated benefits of acquisitions may not materialize.

• Foreign acquisitions may include additional unique risks including potential

difficulties arising from differences in cultures and languages, currencies, and
from economic, political, and regulatory risks.

C1-6 Numbers Game

a. A company is motivated to keep its stock price high. However, stock price is
very sensitive to information about company performance. When the company
reports lower earnings than the market anticipated, the stock price often falls
significantly. A desire to increase reported earnings to meet the expectations
of Wall Street may provide a company with incentives to manipulate earnings
to achieve this goal.
b. Levitt discusses 5 specific techniques: (1) “big bath” restructuring charges,
(2) creative acquisition accounting, (3) “cookie jar reserves,” (4) improper
application of the materiality principal, and (5) improper recognition of
revenue. Following Levitt’s speech, the FASB subsequently dealt with each of
these issues. Accounting standards since that time have limited these earnings
management techniques.

c. Levitt notes meaningful disclosure to investors about company performance

is necessary for investors to trust and feel confident in the information they
are using to make investing decisions. Levitt believes this trust is the bedrock
of our financial markets and is required for the efficient functioning of U.S.
capital markets.
Other documents randomly have
different content
countenance before we part—to meet only when I can claim you as
my own!”
“No! No!” exclaims Biddy, restraining the Baronet’s hand which is laid
upon the lutestring of her mask.
“But divine creature, I insist!” with one arm seizing the buxom Lady
Biddy about the waist, while with the other he essays to untie the
riband which hides her charms from view.
Then Lady Biddy O’Toole, whose lungs were of the best, let such a
bawl as rang far up and down the Thames, causing a score of red-
stockinged boatmen to leave their wherries and dash up the
Gardens; causing every tongue in Vauxhall to cease clacking, every
glass to jingle to its table, every echo to resound; every other lady
there to shriek; the musicians to stop; the waiters to drop their
trays; each gentleman to draw sword; and a vast number of persons
of both sexes to shout:
“Watch! Watch! Murder! Thieves! Highwaymen!” and whatever else
beside.
While a concourse of people of every condition at once closed in
around Sir Robin and Lady Biddy, at the outside rim of which,
shivering betwixt terror and that lively curiosity which overrides even
a desire for personal safety, gaped the now unmasked Vicar of
Friskingdean, unable to find his natural protector and sometime pupil
in all this hurly-burly.
 XV
Wherein Sir Percy and Sir Robin come face
to face, to the unfeigned amazement of
each: and where My Lady takes
to her heels and a wherry.

When Lady Diana and Percy quitted the box, he, after conducting
her to the care of Lady Brookwood, strode off into the Dark Alleys,
taking with him, not Kennaston, for the hopeless youth, flouted still
by Diana, had gone a-mooning by the river’s bank, but a company of
valiant and merry gentlemen all raised a bit by the partaking of the
famous Vauxhall punch; and to them he confided sufficient of his
reasons and intentions, as made plain their course to them as his
friends, to do aught and all in their several powers toward the
promoting of a quarrel betwixt him and Sir Robin McTart; whom, he
would presently point out to them, as they should stroll, seeming
careless, the length of the walk.
Thus, arm in arm, Sir Percy, Sir Wyatt Lovell, His Grace of Escombe,
and Mr. Jack Chalmers, across the path, swaggering with sticks and
tassels hanging, hats at a cock, perfumed with Venus oil, and most
jocund of demeanor; with Beau Brummell behind ’em spying, waving
his little muff, and chatting with Lord Wootton and one or two more
gay sparks, all disporting themselves carelessly, but hilts eased for
the drawing.
Just as they were nearing the wooden lion of Sir Robin’s tryst, Lady
Biddy’s shriek assailed their ears, and Sir Percy, thanking Providence
for so opportune an occurrence, which, not to say that it was in any
way premeditated, yet continued to ring out louder and louder, even
after Sir Robin had ceased to pull at her mask-string and stood, held
fast in Her Ladyship’s stout grasp, the very center of a blaze of light
from footmen’s flambeaux,—they and the masses pushing every
way, screaming and cursing.
Into the thick of this mêlée dashed Sir Percy de Bohun, with his
friends on either side of him.
But a moment sufficed for him to wrest the Lady from her assailant
and to deliver her over to the care of Diana and the Duchess, who
carried her swooning (whether with laughter or emotion ’twould be
difficult to set down), to the Room.
In another second, taking his silver-fringed gloves from his pocket
he threw them into the masked face of Sir Robin McTart.
The little Baronet, who had both temper and vanity, which brace
now got the upperhand of his cowardice, and, believing that Lady
Peggy’s eyes were upon him, that Sir Percy was at the bottom of the
Thames, and with full foreknowledge that he could run away before
the meeting could be arranged, caught the gloves as they struck and
flung them back into their owner’s covered countenance.
“Take that! ’sdeath!” squeaked Sir Robin, now much the more valiant
as he beheld the Vicar screwing his way toward him through the
excited crowds.

“Unmask, and show yourself for who you are!” cried Percy, every
one of his companions echoing:
“Unmask! Unmask! Unmask, or we’ll run ye!”
“Willingly,” responded the trembling gentleman from Kent, tugging at
the slip-knot in his mask-string.
“I am Sir Robin McTart! Who, the devil, are you?”
“I am Sir Percy de Bohun!” replied his opponent, as both masks
came off at the same instant, and the two confronted one another,
staring with four eyes that fairly popped in their sockets.
’Twould be hard to say which of these two was the more astounded,
although Sir Percy’s amazement had quite a different flavor from the
Baronet’s abject terror.
“You! Sir Percy de Bohun!” he quavered, turning ashy pale. “I’ll not
believe it. ’Tis a lie!”
“You! Sir Robin McTart!” replied Percy, hotly. “Gentlemen,” turning to
his friends, “I pray you bear me out in this, not to the exclusion of
my challenge of this impostor, which holds good until one or t’other
of us sheds blood, but for the preservation of the honor of a valiant
gentleman, who is not far off of us now. That this weazen wretch
may meet his dues, for not only does he masquerade his face, but
seeks to usurp the character and name of one whom we all know to
be both handsome, brave and courageous.”
Percy’s blood runs high as he speaks these generous words, while
every soul about him stands breathless, staring, struck dumb with
the singularity of the episode.
“But I am Sir Robin McTart,” cries the Baronet, brandishing his
weapon with a will, since there is none to oppose him, and the Vicar,
now, although well-nigh choked, not above ten yards distant from
him.
“Tut, tut, Sir, whoever you are,” interposed Lord Escombe. “Your
game’s up, and you’d better give your lies a rest.”
“Hold!” cries Sir Percy to Robin, “whoever you are, I challenge you to
fight me ten minutes hence, yonder in the open, towards the river,
and those ten minutes my friends and I’ll spend in calling the actual
Sir Robin McTart into your presence, and confronting your
impudence with his reality. Lend me your lungs, My Lords and
Gentlemen; Sir Robin’s in call somewhere in the Gardens as we all
know.”
And with one accord the shout went up, ringing up and down the
river and far across to the highway, where it caused the horse-patrol
to think that every highwayman in the kingdom had broken loose
upon Vauxhall, and presently brought them rearing, plunging,
swearing, firing, thumping cutlasses right and left, into the midst of
the surging thousands, by this all shouting:
“Sir Robin McTart! Sir Robin McTart! Sir Robin! Sir Robin! Sir Robin
McTart!” at the top of their voices.
But for all their bawling, no one answered, no one came, and but
one of the vast throng went.
This was Lady Peggy, at a loss to know the meaning of the shouts,
not having been near enough to the scene of the encounter to learn
its purport, and only now realizing that ’twas herself was sought and
meant by the concerted cry that rent the air. Scenting a new if
unknown danger, she followed her woman’s instinct, and, in the
waiting pause that succeeded the tumultuous call, Peggy fled to the
landing, pressed a handful of shillings, almost her last, into the palm
of the only boatman there, jumped into the wherry and bade him
get her as swiftly as he could to Queenhithe Stairs; for determined
was she, now more than ever, to leave no traces in her wake, and to
return, at all risks, to Mr. Brummell’s house for her bundle of
woman’s clothes.
For a long way down the Thames the renewed cry of the Vauxhall
crush rang in her distracted ears:
“Sir Robin McTart! Sir Robin McTart! Sir Robin! Sir Robin! Where are
you? Come forth! Show yourself!”
But none other came forth, and the Baronet, taking such courage as
he might through his astonishment at Sir Percy’s being alive,—and
not forgetting, even at this point, to reckon how much the lying
assassins had mulcted him of, now, in the second breathless halt of
the calling his own name, waved his weapon and answered it, saying
again:
“I am Sir Robin McTart!”
“Prove it,” shouted Chalmers, with a derisive shrug.
“Faith! and so he can by me!” exclaimed the panting Vicar, as, borne
rather by the surging of the people than by his slender legs, the
tenant of the cloth was pitched somewhat unceremoniously head-
first into his pupil’s middle. Sputtering, but yet winning the attention
which truth and the clergy usually and righteously obtain, the Vicar
raised his right hand, and, laying his left on the Baronet’s shoulder,
he spoke:
“This is Sir Robin McTart of Robinswold, Kent. I have known him
from his birth; his father before him; he has been my pupil. Who
dares use his name than himself is an impostor and a thief!”
“What!” and now comes forward Mr. Brummell with open hand. “And
my old friend,” says he, “’sdeath, Mr. What’s-your-name, you were a
curate when we met last, twenty years ago, but I remember you, Sir,
at Robinswold. So this,” surveying the Baronet, “is my old friend’s
son and heir? Of a truth he favors his sire more than the pretty
young rapscallion that’s been a-fooling us all for now these four
weeks past; for gentlemen,” adds the Beau, turning to Sir Percy, “’tis
as well we confess ourselves to have been duped. Gad, Sir,” this
sotto voce to Percy alone, “I always wondered where Sir Hector
found that handsome lad, for he was as ugly a gentleman as ever
was wedded to wife.”
After the storm there came that calm which is the inevitable
successor, save that, in this case, while the noise subsided, the
wonder grew. Every one of Mr. Brummell’s company and all of the
rest of the world beside, was rehearsing his and her own surmise as
to the identity of the young gentleman who had, for above a month,
been the town toast, and who had now disappeared as suddenly as
he came. Some believed him to be Tom Kidde himself; some, a Lord
out of France; some, a Prince of the blood; some, the Devil; some,
an astrologer; there was no lack of inventions as to Her Ladyship’s
identity by the time the ten minutes of Sir Percy’s setting had come
to an end.
He cast an eye about the place looking for Sir Robin, and his veins
were fairly on fire to know the color of his rival’s blood and wring
from his, he hoped, dying lips, a confession of where Lady Peggy
was. Presently, not spying his opponent, he begged Escombe and
Chalmers to have the goodness to seek him out; settle the spot; ask
him to choose his seconds; call a surgeon (of whom there were
always a score in attendance at Vauxhall, ready for just such affairs),
while he himself swung down toward the river to look for Kennaston
and give him one last word for Peggy, should Sir Robin run him
through.
Peg’s twin lay on the turf sleeping. Such are the effects of being at
once a poet and a lover, not yet twenty, and quite fagged with wide-
awake nights and days and a fair lady’s cruel caprices. Sir Percy
looked at him, smiled, and whispered as he knelt:
“Dear lad, thou that art My Lady’s twin, when next thou seest her,
sure I know she’ll lay her dear lips on thy brow, and there she’ll find,
this.” Percy kissed the boy as he spoke. “’Tis doubtless more than
she’d care to discover, but, if death comes, ’twill ease the blow and
charm the pain while I remember this message that I send her now.”
He turned away and left Peg’s brother lying there to waken at his
leisure.
When he reached the Walk again, another clamor greeted him
identical with its predecessor.
“Sir Robin McTart! Sir Robin McTart! Sir Robin! Sir Robin! Come forth
of your seclusion. The time is up. Sir Robin, I say-y-y-y!”
This Sir Robin McTart had vanished as mysteriously as the other one,
and though the entire company made the welkin ring with the same
cry over again:
“Sir Robin McTart! Sir Robin! Sir Robin! Sir Robin McTart!” no Sir
Robin appeared or could be found, and they were fain be content,
reinforced by the ladies now well out of their swoons and terrors, to
finish up the night with punch and loo in the boxes, all brains much
of a muddle with the strange adventures and miraculous
disappearances incident upon Beau Brummell’s never-to-be-
forgotten masquerade party at Vauxhall.
 XVI
Which doth set forth how My Lady Peg, Sir
Percy and Sir Robin all put up at the
“Queen and Artichoke:” and what a
fine hurly-burly thereupon ensues.

The moment that the excitement of the Vicar’s identification had

subsided, the Baronet, leading the worthy old man to the gates and
there quitting him under pretext of fetching a hackney coach,
skipped without, and, hiring one with a couple of the horse-patrol at
a squeezing price, jumped in and made off for his inn at Pimlico,
leaving his whilom preceptor to shift for himself.
Sir Robin had no mind at all for duels with any one, least of all with
the resurrected Sir Percy de Bohun, whom his guilty conscience
suspected to be fully cognizant of the author of his attempted
assassination. Terrified with all this and, if possible, more so by the
accounts he had listened to, right and left, of his valorous and most
mysterious name-sake, the little gentleman at once made up his
mind as to the course wisest for him to pursue, and forthwith
pursued it.
Back to Pimlico, and into bed, shivering betwixt the linen and
feathers; up for a toilet of the best and neatest; curling his wig
thriftily himself by the fire; a good breakfast; a coach at noon with
Kennaston Castle for goal; and himself and his ardent and blissful
hopes and beliefs for freight and luggage.
For, not twelve hours since, had not My Lady Peggy’s own emissary,
the delightful “Mr. Incognito,” told him that his mistress was leaving
for home last night? Nay, had not Peggy herself, with her own lips,
said that she started for Kennaston “ere cock-crow”? and whatever
could such words mean but that he, the object of her tenderest
solicitude, should follow her at once?
Lady Biddy’s bawl, ’tis true, echoed in the Baronet’s recollection, but
’twas, to his way of thinking merely an index of the liveliness of her
disposition and the enchanting coyness of her moods.
He adjusted his wig with a beaming smile, snapped his crooked little
fingers at the mere memory of Sir Percy de Bohun, the Vicar, his
spurious name-sake, and all the rest of it, as he blithely set off on
his amorous quest, at high noon, from the Puffled Hen in Pimlico.
That same morning toward dawn, Percy had ridden home alone,
leaving Kennaston, cheered by a smile and a pressure of Lady
Diana’s hand, to return to his chambers in Grub street, whither the
young poet had removed some few days since from Lark Lane, at
the instance of having had a piece of good fortune, in the way of a
commendation from no less a personage than the great Doctor
Johnson himself.
The reflections of Peggy’s adorer were various and most tormenting;
his brain, as he tossed in his bed, was a labyrinth wherein he
wandered, vainly endeavoring to solve such riddles as—
“Where was Lady Peggy? Was she indeed the bride of either of the
Sir Robins? Who was the comely young gentlemanly rogue who had
for weeks bewitched the fair and charmed the brave? Where had he
disappeared? To whom, in reality, was he indebted for the saving of
his own life at the Dove Pier; and whose were the St. Giles’s
hirelings who had near made an end of him there?”
Bewildered and at wits’ end, he finally, as the sun was at meridian,
sprang from his uneasy couch, rang and rapped thrice for Grigson,
made a sorry pretense at conversing on politics with his uncle,
whom he presently encountered in the hall; inwardly cursed the old
gentleman; and at last, by three o’clock, got his will, which was,
astride of the long roan, Grigson on the black, to cross to the Surrey
side of the river, and ride as fast as ever he could to Kennaston
Castle.
“By heavens!” cried he to himself, pounding Battersea Bridge. “It is
time her father knew, and Her Lady mother too, that she is neither
in Kent or anywhere else in their reckoning; and if it puts ’em both
into their shrouds, they’ll hear the truth, and set about solving the
riddle before sunrise to-morrow. I’m sailing on Thursday for the
Colonies, but I go not until I am assured of her safety,—and her
happiness.”
Thus it happened that not above three hours after Sir Robin had
started from Pimlico with his destination Kennaston, Sir Percy quitted
Charlotte Street with the same beacon in view; and each, the one in
his coach, t’other in his saddle, brain full and heart bursting with but
one thought, and that Lady Peggy Burgoyne.
Her Ladyship meantime, on landing from the wherry, fairly
scampered her way to Mr. Brummell’s for fear of desperadoes and
Mohocks. At one point wild cries of—
“Watch!” greeted her ears from the open window of a gaming-
house; at another a bullet whizzed above her head, the outcome of
a duel being fought in a narrow street she traversed. In and out she
threaded her path, until presently the pink flush of the dawn pierced
the fog into a silvery mist and she had gained the Beau’s threshhold.
Passing the sleepy servants, Peggy ran up to her room and once
again drew the bundle from its hiding place, tucked the long tail of
her dark hair well inside, cast a glance of pitiable amusement about
the chamber, and says she, going:
“God knows if I ever get leave to put on a lady’s garments again;
but I’ll never come back here, that’s certain, since now am I no one,
not even Sir Robin McTart!”
So, challenged merely by the still drowsy footman who asks: “Beg
pardon, and with submission, Sir Robin, but will you be home for
dinner, Sir, or not until supper?”
“For neither, to-day,” answers Her Ladyship, running out into Peter’s
Court, and then coming to a dead halt.
She drew a long deep breath, as deep as the fog would let her,
much as a dog does before he starts on the scent; she jingled the
little money left in her purse, gave her hat the cock as she beheld a
passer-by, and struck out for London Bridge, which, at this early
hour of the day, she found easy enough to cross afoot, barring the
filth and mud.
’Twas the first time she had been on it since the memorable
afternoon when she and Chockey had first come up to town in the
coach from the Kennaston Arms. Now stalking along with a will, and
a swing to her bundle, My Lady had chance to note the tall gaunt
houses lining the bridge at each side where the pin-makers dwelt
and worked; the gigantic water-wheel under the arches which
supplied the town with water; the increasing tide of wagons, carts,
pedestrians, porters, whoever else (save the chairs or coaches of
fine ladies and gentlemen of which, at this time of day, there were
none). Arrived at Surrey side, Her Ladyship paused to consider and,
wrapping herself well in her camlet cloak, the which she had used at
the masquerade so lately, thereby hiding her blue velvet breeches,
laced waistcoat, point ruffles, Mechlin lace cravat, rich coat, and
jeweled hilt, soon obtained fare in the one-seated cart of a country
clown who was off for Tooting.
Her Ladyship decided very quickly that ’twas but a necessary
precaution for her to avoid highways, stage-coaches, and inns of
reputation, since probably by this a full description of the supposed
Sir Robin would be word of mouth from Westminster to Mile End,
and a dozen miles out of town with the Lord knows but a price set
upon his head!
Once arrived at Tooting, ’twas her intention to double on her tracks,
return with some bumpkin’s load of vegetables to Garret Lane and
thence to foot it across country or by penny’s-worth rides with
village folk, reaching the neighborhood of Kennaston, perhaps late
that night; or, if she should be compelled to sleep under some
friendly farmer’s roof, at least by the next high noon.
But Her Ladyship reckoned, if not without her hosts, most decidedly
without taking count of the weary beast that dragged her, nor yet of
any possible fellow-guests she might encounter on arriving at the
Queen and Artichoke at Tooting.
It was nightfall, when, limp and unnerved, possibly for the very first
time in her life conscious of such physical conditions, the clown
pulled her up before the inn in order to allow her to alight. Bundle
under arm; feet and legs, up to calves, well bespattered with mud
from the reek of her passage across London Bridge afoot; wig
somewhat tangled for all that she had slipped her wig comb out of
pocket and essayed to smooth it a bit; sleeves upturned, cloak
dragging over her arm to heels,—a sorry, disheveled-appearing
young personage jumped from among a pile of oat-bags, leathern
aprons, chairs, unsold produce, wilted flowers, and under the askant
eyes of ’ostler, boots, barmaid, mistress, and host, marched boldly
into the parlor of the Queen and Artichoke.
“Was there a chamber to be had?” for Her Ladyship plainly saw she
must lie at Tooting and not proceed on her homeward journey until
the morrow.
There was a chamber; an admission hesitatingly made, even at this
modest hostelry, to a young gentleman arriving without either
servant, luggage, box, horse, coach, or dog, and by means of a vile
rickety little cart. Yet, such was Her Ladyship’s swagger,
notwithstanding a full splash of mud on the tip-end of her handsome
little chin, she was presently conducted to a decent chamber, up-
stairs, at the rear, it is true, yet overlooking the green, where a
game of bowls was in progress, and with a fine trellis, thick with
vines, beneath its small-paned window.
“Was there an ordinary?”
Oh, the shame and humiliation of it! that the daughter of the Earl of
Exham should be put to such an ebb, instead of ordering the best
the house afforded sent at once to her room.
Aye, there was an ordinary of two dishes and a pastry at ten-pence,
and it would be ready in the quarter hour.
“Ten-pence.”
Her Ladyship had just eleven pence ha’penny left in her purse.
Yet, thought she, refreshed by a good meal and the leaving of her
weapon as a hostage for her lodging, she would better eat than faint
to-night, whatever might betide on the morrow.
While she washed her hands, after hiding the bundle under the
feather bed, Her Ladyship heard the ring of horses’ hoofs on the
stone pave of the inn yard; and her quick ear even detected the fact
that one of the steeds went lame.
She peered out of window and beheld Sir Percy astride of his own
long roan, with Grigson just dismounting from the smoking black.
“This is cursed luck!” mutters the master, as he himself, out of
saddle, stoops to examine the roan’s much swollen off hind-leg.
“It is, Sir Percy,” returns the man, “but, by your leave, Sir, it may be
we can hire a mount here, although it don’t look too promisin’.”
“Unlikely,” says Sir Percy. “The best we can do is to lie in this hole for
the night, and by a hot poultice and a bandage, the roan may be in
condition by to-morrow forenoon.”
“Very well, Sir; it be a damn poor place of entertainment, Sir Percy,
with an ordinary at ten-pence, Sir.” Grigson’s tone of derision is
marked by the guest who draws close about her face the cotton
curtain of the upper rear chamber window.
“Will you be pleased to be served in your room, Sir Percy, at once,
and of whatever can be had? What wine, Sir?”
“Tut, tut, Grigson. I’ll into the ordinary; off with you to the stables
with the roan, rub her down and medicine her, then to your own
supper in the kitchen.”
“Host,” observes Mr. Grigson, loftily, as that worthy obsequiously
appears in the yard with an attendant train, as is customary in
welcoming persons of quality, “Sir Percy de Bohun has the
condescension to say he will sup in the ordinary, and—”
Whatever Mr. Grigson’s further remark may have intended to result
in, was, at this crisis, lost to posterity by such a clattering from up
on the high road ’round the corner of the green lane, where nestled
the Queen and Artichoke, that every eye was turned to behold such
a cloud of dust as joyed the soul of Boniface, whose tuned
intelligence foresaw a coach and four horses; in the light of which Sir
Percy de Bohun’s reeking lame roan and ill-kempt aspect faded into
almost as much insignificance as had, long since, the traveler who
had arrived in the clown’s cart.
Boots alone was left to guide Sir Percy to his apartment, while the
rest made a concerted dash for the yard entrance, just in time to
make their most profound bows and courtesies before the spick little
gentleman who thrust his inquiring little head out of window,
keeping his door closed, as he beckoned the landlord to him with
eager heavy eyes well under cover of his pulled-down hat.
“What guests have you to-night?” asked the little gentleman.
At the very moment he was propounding his query, Sir Percy, now
sunk to ignominy even in the eyes of Boots by announcing he would
sup at ten-pence, was being ushered into an upper chamber
adjoining the very one in which sat, dejected, robbed of even the
prospect of food by his presence, Lady Peggy Burgoyne.
“Very few, My Lord,” answered the host glibly, “the very best
chamber on the first floor with the sitting-room has been kept for
Your Lordship,” applying hand to latch of coach-door, the which,
however, is still firmly held by its occupant.
“Their names?” asks the little gentleman, while at the fleck of one of
the postilion’s lashes his wheelers begin to prance and advance so
far into the yard as that their racket brings Peggy a second time to
her narrow pane, a-squinting up her eyes to see who this may be.
For, in the midst of her distress, as befalls often enough to all of us,
she takes unconscious note of minor happenings, the which, those
who study such matters affirm to be proof of the two-sided condition
of men’s minds.
“Your guests’ names?” reiterates the small gentleman, as, followed
by the cortège of dame, maid, man, dog, cat, and tame magpie, the
coach comes to a halt within excellent range of Her Ladyship’s coign
of vantage and earshot. “I must know them before I alight.”
“Well, My Lord, there’s Mr. Bigge, the Curate from Risley Commons,
as stops over here on his way to Finchley every week; Mr. Blunt, the
traveling tailor; His Grace the Duke of Courtleigh’s own man, off on
his holiday; Mr. Townes and his new married wife a-goin’ to settle in
the lodge at the Manor-house; a young spark drabbled with mud and
havin’ no boxes and no servants, what arrived by means of a market
cart just anon, and Sir Percy de Bohun, a fine gentleman what’s just
ridden in the yard before Your Lordship’s coach, but”—
“Who?” The little gentleman turned green in his pallor, and shot back
in his cushions with a gasp.
“Not much of any account, My Lord, I’m thinking, since Jenny here
tells me he sups at the ordinary; of course Your Lordship’ll be served
in your own sitting-room and dame and myself to humbly wait upon
you.”
“Hold your tongue!” says the little man, gathering his scattered wits
and pausing to think, while his steeds paw noisily on the cobble
pavement.
Peggy, at the pane, almost laughs as she regards the shrinking
weazened visage.
“Sir Robert McTart!” she says to herself, shaking her head at the little
vixen. “’Tis indeed a merry fate that puts me and Percy and you all
under one roof this night. That is, if his presence don’t fright you
into a gallop!”
Sir Percy himself, also for a second standing moodily at his
casement, could and did behold thence Sir Robin’s restive and
hungry leaders, and had a passing wonder as to what the devil
brought any gentleman to stop at such an inn, save as himself, by
the misfortune of a nail in his animal’s foot.
Sir Robin, however, with that discretion and prudence, not to say
cowardice, which distinguished him, had purposely chosen the
Queen and Artichoke, for, upon second thought, he had determined
to sleep in comfort.
Sir Robin loved his feathers and quilts of a night far better than the
jolt of ruts and ditches, and dreaded highwaymen more than even
the pangs of delayed love-making.
By his choice he had hoped to escape the least chance of an
encounter with Sir Percy, whom he believed to be in hot pursuit of
him, and at this juncture his wise little pate quickly resolved that it
were better for him to alight, gain his chamber, and harbor there in
safety until such time as that Sir Percy should have unsuspectingly
proceeded on his quest.
“If you can ensure me a perfect privacy; to go unseen to my rooms,
a fair service, and dry linen, with quiet as to cocks and neighbors, I
will remain here for the present,” says Sir Robin, almost taking in
Lady Peggy by the squint of his uncontrollable left eye.
In a trice, Sir Robin is attended to his bower, and ere long the best
in the larder is laid before him. Sir Percy partakes of the homely fare
of the ordinary; and Her Ladyship sits, unheeding the tardy
summons of the dame, supperless, hungry, fagged, in her tiny room
where the warmth from the kitchen chimney reaches her, and where
the goodly smells from Sir Robin’s fowls, sausages, eggs, and fruit-
pie assail her senses.
Mr. Grigson, doctoring the roan, endeavored with much creditable
tact to get wind of the name or title of the master of the coach, but
Sir Robin’s men had had their lesson, and not a hint was to be got
out of either of them by Mr. Grigson, or by the curious host of the
Queen and Artichoke himself.
By eleven every candle was out in the house. All the guests, save
two, slept the sleep of the presumably just.
 XVII
Wherein Her Ladyship slips leash of all mankind,
runs for her life, and finds goal in
the arms of Sir Robin McTart.

These were Peggy and the little Baronet. Her Ladyship, mind made
up to flee in the darkness, leaving six-pence on the table to pay for
her lodgings, even now stood, latch in hand, bundle once more
under arm, still a man, not having dared to change her garments.
Sir Robin lay ensconced betwixt the quilts; the realizing sense that
his mortal enemy, one who sought his life, who coveted His Lady—
from whom he was running away, to be veracious,—lay not many
yards off him, seeming to banish that restful repose that had seldom
hitherto forsaken this worthy and exemplary little person.
A mouse squeaked, and Sir Robin shivered; a beetle pattered across
the hearth, his hair stood on end.
Surely a footstep sounded in the hallway; the boards creaked;
something metallic struck against the panel of his door, and he
sprang from his couch and chattered to his sword.
Lady Peggy’s blade had struck the woodwork as she made her way
stealthily down in the darkness; while Sir Robin shook, she gained
the lower end of the hall but, not being acquainted with its ways and
turnings, above all, having forgot the two broad steps that cut the
straight road to the entrance in two, Her Ladyship, with much
clanking of her weapon on the brick flooring, fell sprawling; her
bundle shooting off into the unseen, she up on hands and knees,
hither, yon, seeking it; Sir Robin beating on his wainscot such a
tattoo as was fit to wake the dead, shrieking, from the safe shelter
of the muffling pillows where he huddled:
“Murder! Thieves! Ho there! Landlord! Tom! James! Ho there, I say!
Help! Help!”
Sir Percy, out of his four-post up-stairs in a flash, tinder struck, door
flung open; in night-rail and cap, with rapier drawn, hanger uplifted,
and—
“’Sdeath! What the devil is the matter!” cries he at top of lung.
“Speak or I’ll fire!” and down the stair he plunges to Sir Robin’s very
sill.
This one, having successfully summoned those more doughty than
himself to cope with the supposed danger, now recognizing Sir
Percy’s voice, shivers and sweats as he cowers and pulls the
counterpane over his head, grasping his purse in his sharp little
fingers; wisely never undoing of his door.
“Speak or I’ll fire,” repeats Sir Percy, whose candle has been blown
out by the draught. He takes a few steps down the hallway where he
hears the curious scratching noise Her Ladyship is making as she
distractedly feels around for the bundle.
At last she grasps it and creeps up unwittingly to Sir Percy’s very
side; de facto her arm grazes his as she now raises herself to a
standing posture, exactly as her lover, no answer being vouchsafed
him, pulls his trigger and the ball goes a-whizzing through Sir
Robin’s door panel and finds lodgement in the chimney bricks.
Peggy, her customary composure being much the worse for hunger
and the general excitement, jumps when the shot pops, and thus
inadvertently now palpably touches Percy’s elbow. He turns upon her
and seizes her wrists in a grip of steel; she, as tightly hugging the
bundle under her armpit, utters no sound, but wriggles and twists to
such a purpose that she is about to get free when her opponent
renews his endeavors with an oath.
“Speak!” says he, “or I’ll brain you!” making to hold Peg’s two hands
prisoner in one of his, the while he may seize his rapier and put a
finish to the matter.
She does not speak, but to the scene jump now the heavy cumbrous
country-folk, rattled out of their deep slumber by Sir Percy’s ball and
no less by the piercing and prolonged shrieks of Sir Robin, each
Colin Clout and Dowsabel of ’em, armed with whatever they could
catch; yet, luckily for Her Ladyship, no one of them with sense
enough to fetch a candle.
“A light! a light! you damnable idiots!” cried Sir Percy, while Her
Ladyship makes a final twist to free herself, fruitless as before. She
feels her ebbing strength at its last pinch and feels, too, the bundle
loosening in her hold.
Then, as landlord stumbles to his tinder-box, amid an uproar from all
the travelers, especially the new made bride and her spouse, Peggy
finds herself let go, nay, almost thrust aside as her captor ejaculates
testily:
“Zounds! girl, why did you not proclaim your sex, and not leave me
to find it out by a long wisp of woman’s hair between my fingers?
Lights! Lights! I say! and we’ll get the fellow yet! He must be in the
house, for no one’s left it.”
Sir Percy has been for the moment meshed in his Lady’s long
tresses, which, in the skirmish, have broke leash of the bundle and
dangle out yard’s length.
For an instant she stands on the landing at bay. To unbolt the big
door and make an open dash for freedom would mean certain
death; to turn up therefrom and regain her chamber was her sole
chance, and this must be done before a light could be struck.
She wheeled around and rushed up the hall, up the stairs among the
clustering folk, nudging she knew not whom, skipped along the
narrow rear passage, and into her room before candle flames
revealed to the amazed company that neither bolt, bar, or latch had
been disturbed, nor anything in the house taken!
Even while they rummaged in the bar-room till, counted the forks
and spoons—pewter though they were, Her Ladyship, tying the
luckless bundle about her waist with a hastily cut bed-cord,
cautiously opened the casement, crawled out on the trellis, which
unsteadied a bit beneath her weight but did not break; clambered in
and out the vines to the edge, and then, lightly, thanks to her twin’s
training, swung herself to the ground clear, crept across the yard,
leaped the stone wall, with a bound and over; flew the width of the
meadow; struck the lane, up to the high road; by the moon, took a
southerly course which she knew made for Kennaston, and paused
not much for breath until she had left a matter of five miles betwixt
her and the Queen and Artichoke.
It was coming three o’clock by this, and, all the little night winds
hushed, all the earth and trees and grasses, flowers, shrubs and
weeds expectant, vibrant of the nearing dawn, whose pink and
beauteous herald now looked over the hill-tops at the east, and put
the lingering stars to shame, and woke the little birds, and bade
every drop of dew flash on cup and blade; and all the things that
breathe to grow and pulsate; to thrill through all their veins with joy
that still another day was born.
Her Ladyship too was glad, for, brave as she had been through all
the brief ordeal of her manhood, this last adventure had broken her
spirit a bit, and hunger and fatigue had sadly weakened her flesh. As
the lark mounted, singing to the now risen sun, she struck in a bit
from the road and began an endeavor to calculate how far she might
be from Kennaston village, or from any place familiar to her. But it
was vain to speculate. Peggy, in all her cross-country rides, could not
place the spot in which she now found herself.
Food was what she needed most and she came out into the open,
shading her eyes with her hand and looking everywhere about for a
curl of smoke that might guide her to a cottage. But no friendly film
greeted her, and her hand fell listless at her side.
Hark! The tinkle of a bell, the soft lowing of a cow; not far off either.
She ran a piece up the road and presently descried the herd
huddling at the pasture bars waiting for their milking, yet no maid
nor man in sight, no milking-stool nor pail nor cup, only the soft
inviting lowing of the kine. Her bundle still tied about her waist, Her
Ladyship let down the top bars, edged through, off with her once
splendid but now much tarnished hat, set it under the nearest cow,
knelt, and presently had the cock full of as fine foaming milk as one
might wish to see. She rose and drank thankfully, rubbing the cow’s
nose in gratitude; then; amid the concerted cries of the herd, she
made off, a little refreshed, still keeping her southerly course; still
haphazarding her way, for no house came in sight.
After a matter of a dozen miles, and now reaching the edge of a
woods, with the tower of a Castle just sticking up out of the horizon
for her only beacon, Peggy halted and, the refreshment of the milk
having been by this exhausted, the tears forced their way to her
eyes and even ploughed two small furrows the length of her cheeks,
cupping in the dimple of her chin, and splashing at last, on her much
rumpled Mechlin lace cravat.
“Bah!” cried she. “I weep only because I am hungry. I am not afraid.
Odzooks! She that has had the hemp about her neck to be strung up
for a highwayman must not fear to encounter one of her own ilk,”
and Her Ladyship essays to laugh as she plunges into the wood.
It proves a harmless, peaceful, if somewhat devious neighborhood,
where an occasional rabbit scurries over the dry leaves of last
autumn’s falling, and where a large company of rooks are holding a
caucus, but ’tis interminable; and Peggy’s legs are not of steel, it
seems, but of that lusty flesh and blood and bone which, when
made to do duty fasting, now these twenty hours, begin to give out.
Her head, too, spins, the knot of her cravat seems to choke her as
she loosens it; the weight of the bundle appears like twenty stone at
the least about her waist, and she cuts the bed-cord and lets it drop,
just for a few moments’ ease, she tells herself, as, at last, the other
side of the forest is gained and she beholds a wide stretch of downs
and naught but the elusive tower of the distant Castle, appearing
farther away even than at first.
What common can this be?
Once again she shades her blood-shot eyes and stares up at the sky.
In crossing the woods, she must have struck mistakenly to the west.
The sun is nearing the set, and Peggy now knows she has come to
Farnham Heath where, report has it, some of the boldest cut-throats
in the country rule the roost.
Shall she start to cross it? Kennaston Village lies only ten miles on
t’other side of it. That will-o’-the-wisp tower? that castle yonder? yes
’tis home! and she such a dullard as not to have mistrusted it before!
She will push on. Why not? What has she, forsooth, to tempt any
thief, unless he took her for ransom.
Well, let him, since Percy de Bohun at this very moment, in all
liklihood, kneels at the feet of Lady Diana; if highwaymen want to
bear her off, why should she complain? And just then the tinkle of
the little brook at the wayside beckons in Her Ladyship’s ear, the
Castle tower appears to he dancing up and down against the sky;
the two stark trees, yonder on the heath, are surely turning
somersaults; the bundle drags all forgotten at her heels, and
presently lies in the tall grasses which she threaded on her way to
the brook. Her head swam, ten thousand blunderbusses seemed to
be firing off inside of it; she pulled off her wig and threw it far from
her; she unbuttoned her coat and waistcoat, and drew her cloak in a
twist about her; she staggered, caught at an elder; it swayed with
her to the water, as she fell swooning with her thirsty lips just in
touch of the sparkling bubbles; her wan face shining in the glint of
sunshine, the whole round world and all the men and women in it
quite forgot, even her sword, unbuckled with the bed-cord, now lay
glinting its jewels in the sedges half a dozen rods away.
A pair of robins eyed her from the bushes, a bee swerved and
swung above her mouth; the minnows darted next her cheek, but
My Lady did not wake for any or all of these. She lay there
motionless until the sun had gone down and all the sweet scents
and drowsy sounds and whirrs and flutters of twilight had come up;
until a fine coach with four horses and two postilions came prancing
and pawing at a great rate of speed out of the wood to the heath.
Until a little weazened fine gentleman, who had dozed in his bed
until long past noon for fear of encountering a certain other
gentleman, had risen leisurely, dined with relish, set out from the
Queen and Artichoke only after being assured that the other
gentleman had gone off on a ruined horse back to Garratt Lane in
the hopes of obtaining a suitable mount, which same was not to be
had short of the ten mile return; until the little gentleman, then,
thrusting his face out of his coach window as the vehicle came to a
sudden standstill, spoke:
“Is this the heath?” he asks with blinking eyes and a shiver.
“Yes, Sir Robin, Farnham Heath, Sir!” answers one of the postilions.
“Your pleasure, Sir Robin?” asks the second man respectfully,
quieting his horses.
“Well,” returns the little Baronet, “if you think can gallop across
faster than those devils could overtake us, I say, proceed. If not—”
he glances back over his shoulder.
To tell the truth, the gentleman from Kent considered himself as
betwixt two very impending fires, and, ’tis safe to say, he dreaded
Sir Percy de Bohun’s possibility at his back as much, if not more,
than he did the robbers in front of him.
“We’re in the best condition, Sir,” returned the man, “and fifty
minutes ought to take us out of all chances of danger.”
“Unless,” replies the master, again casting an apprehensive eye to
the rear, “they might close in on us from behind.”
“No fear, Sir,” cries the lackey, “our pistols are loaded and cocked;
with your own rapier, pistols and the blunderbuss, Sir Robin, we
should—”
“What’s that?” exclaims the second man, eyes bulging, as with the
handle of his whip he points to the fallen figure by the brookside.
“Zounds!” cries the first, rising in his seat to peer.
“’Sdeath! Damnation!” squeaks Sir Robin, pulling down the coach-
sash. “On with ye, you devils! On, I say!” thumping impatiently on
the pane with his signet ring.
“No fear, Sir, no fear, Sir Robin!” exclaims the second man, jumping
to the ground and inspecting Her Ladyship. “It’s only a corp.”
“Are you sure?” opening the door cautiously. “Sure?”
“Aye, Sir Robin, a quality corp, Sir. Mayhap shot down by them
vagabones out of the heath. Had I best see if there’s any life left in
the young gentleman, Sir?”
Sir Robin descends from his coach, a pistol in one hand, a drawn
rapier in the other.
“Keep an eye on the lookout, James,” he whispers to the postilion
who remains in his seat, and the Baronet minces in and out of the
tall grasses, shaking the dew daintily from his sprawling feet, until
he gains the spot, where his man kneels above the prostrate form.
“Ugh!” says he, turning aside his head in a species of disgust, “I
never could abide the sight of the dead.”
’Twas the very first time in his life he’d ever had a chance to behold
such!
“He ain’t quite cold yet, Sir Robin,” says the postilion. “There’s a
flicker to his eye-lids, Sir, look!”
The Baronet looks; out of his hands tumble rapier and pistol.
“’Slife!” he cries, down on his knees, feeling at Her Ladyship’s pulse,
pulling his flask from his pocket and trying vainly to pour the liquor
between the firmly shut lips.
As he tries, the little gentleman’s wits work nimbly, which they could
do on occasions, and, not stopping even to wonder at his discovery,
only to accept instantly as a fact that his Lady had been struck down
while pursuing him, he is so overjoyed at the beauty, sentiment, and
opportuneness of the adventure, as to be scarce able to restrain his
elation, even in the face of a serious swoon.
“Into the coach at once, James,” he says, raising Her Ladyship’s
head himself, “your gentlest endeavors and a guinea apiece to you,”
nodding to the other, as between them they carry the limp form to
the coach, “if you bring me to Kennaston Castle before curfew.”
“Never fear, Sir Robin; if the young gentleman only holds out for a
single hour, I swear, Sir, in the teeth of all the highwaymen in the
kingdom, we’ll have you there.”
“Tut, tut,” says Sir Robin, smiling, no longer restraining an
expression of his happiness and triumph, as he makes ready the
rugs and cushions within to receive the burden James, for the
moment, bears alone.
“’Tis no young gentleman, you rogues, ’tis My Lady Peggy Burgoyne,
my bride that is to be. Wait a moment, Thomas, while I spread this
shawl; and James, look you sharp behind us, for there’s a gentleman
in pursuit of this Lady would kill me on sight if he can.”