Eating an Artichoke A Mother's Perspective on Asperger
Syndrome
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Eating an Artichoke
A Mother’s Perspective on Asperger Syndrome
Echo R. Fling
Foreword by Tony Attwood
Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia
With thanks to Columbia Tristar Motion Picture Group for the use of excerpts from
the feature film Short Circuit.
All rights reserved. No paragraph of this publication may be reproduced, copied or
transmitted save with written permission of the Copyright Act 1956 (as amended), or
under the terms of any licence permitting limited copying issued by the Copyright
Licensing Agency, 33–34 Alfred Place, London WC1E 7DP. Any person who does
any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to prosecution and
civil claims for damages.
The right of Echo R. Fling to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by
her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
First published in the United Kingdom in 2000 by
Jessica Kingsley Publishers Ltd,
116 Pentonville Road, London
N1 9JB, England
and
325 Chestnut Street,
Philadelphia PA 19106, USA.
www.jkp.com
© Copyright 2000 Echo R. Fling
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data
Fling, Echo. R.
Eating an artichoke : a mother’s perspective on
Asperger’s syndrome / Echo R. Fling.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 1 85302 711 1 (pbk. : alk. paper)
1. Asperger’s syndrome. I. Title.
RC553.A88F58 1999 99-43199
618.92’8982--dc21 CIP
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
Fling, Echo R.
Eating an artichoke : a mother’s perspective on Asperger’s syndrome
1. Fling, Echo R. 2. Asperger’s syndome - Popular works
I. Title
616.8’982
ISBN 1 85302 711 1
Printed and Bound in Great Britain by
Athenaeum Press, Gateshead, Tyne and Wear
For Jimmy, whose courage and bravery
continues to astonish me each and every day
Contents
FOREWORD 9
PREFACE 11
Acknowledgements 13
1 There’s something wrong with your son 15
2 Looking back 22
3 Now what do we do? 26
4 Back to basics 36
5 Kitchen classroom 44
6 Reality check 53
7 Away at school 66
8 Just a lonely boy 78
9 Drugs? 91
10 Out to lunch 100
11 Light at the end of the tunnel 113
12 The heart of my artichoke 122
13 Ch… ch… cha… changes 132
14 Making sense of the sensory 145
15 Holla-daze 156
16 Of things motoric 168
17 My Girly 179
18 Finding his passion – and beyond 188
AFTERWORD: The politics of it all 200
REFERENCES 206
Foreword
Echo began her discovery of her son’s diagnosis of Asperger
Syndrome when his preschool teacher uttered the ominous words
‘I think I need to tell you that I feel something isn’t right with
your son and you may want to consider having Jimmy evaluated
by a specialist’. He was distinctly unusual in his ability to
understand and play cooperatively with his peers; conversations
included obscure extracts from his favourite movie, an irresistible
determination to acquire all the specimens of his special interest
and an acute sensitivity to particular sounds. Finding a specialist
who could explain this unusual profile of abilities was not a
simple task and this book enables the reader to accompany Echo
as she discovers her son’s perception of his world and other
people’s perception of her son.
Echo and her family are very brave in allowing others into their
personal thoughts, feelings and experiences but her purpose is to
share the knowledge she has acquired. At present, the greatest
knowledge base on Asperger Syndrome is not in academic texts or
easily accessible clinical expertise but dispersed among families.
This book will provide parents with an affirmation of their experi-
ences while professionals and parents will gain new insights into
Asperger Syndrome and learn some creative strategies to acquire
specific skills. Mothers of such children have developed abilities in
understanding and translating their child’s perspective to educate
their family, teachers, therapists, other children and the general
public. They have developed negotiation and diplomacy skills in
managing potential conflict with government agencies, profes-
sionals and members of their family that are the equal of United
Nations diplomats. Their commitment to the welfare and happiness
of their child, determination to establish appropriate services, and
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10 EATING AN ARTICHOKE
fortitude in the face of rhetoric and ignorance must be
acknowledged and steps taken to ease their situation. Echo also
describes new areas of concern such as the impact on siblings of
having a brother or sister with Asperger Syndrome and the politics
of diagnosis and service development.
The title of the book refers to an artichoke of which she and
others ‘have to peel back the thorny layers to get to the heart of
what’s truly the issue with him’. Her conclusion is ‘there are many
lovely things about Jimmy’s ‘Aspergerish’ personality that I find I
value’. Her biography of Jimmy will be a tribute to his courage and
bravery and of great value to fellow parents and professionals who
seek an understanding of Asperger Syndrome.
Tony Attwood
October 1999
Preface
When the idea came to me to write this book, I approached my
son Jimmy with my thoughts about making our story public. I
remember chatting with him about the project at a local Burger
King, which was our regular Wednesday night hangout during
his sister’s piano lessons. As Jimmy and I discussed the various
aspects of the book, we weighed up the pros and cons of such a
project. We agreed that the bottom line was to help others learn
about Asperger Syndrome through our story. What was Jimmy’s
final word on the subject? ‘…And we shall help them – every
one.’ Dickens’ Tiny Tim couldn’t have said it better.
I wrote this book for several reasons, some of them purely
selfish. The idea of keeping a family history is very important to me
and this book serves as a record of five years in the life of our family.
I also wanted an account so my adult children could someday learn
of their mother’s thoughts and feelings as she struggled to find
answers as she raised her children. Research has shown that
genetics play an important part in Asperger Syndrome. The chances
are quite likely that my own children will be parents to a child with
this disorder. Any voice of experience will help them. I also wrote
this book for Jimmy. Historians always say that to best determine
our future, we must learn from our past. When he is old enough to
understand, it is my hope that my son will read the words I’ve
written, with an eye towards better understanding the essence of
his soul.
This book is not meant to be the end-all on the subject of
raising children with Asperger Syndrome. I am not an expert. What
lies in its pages is the story of one mother’s struggle to cope. My
initiation into the ‘artichoke sisterhood’ may not be the same
experience as another mother’s. What I hope to be of value are the
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12 EATING AN ARTICHOKE
shared experiences that all parents of children with AS hold in
common. Compassion only comes through knowledge and under-
standing. If only one person is helped by the stories contained
within these pages, the effort will have been well worth it.
Echo R. Fling
April 27, 1999
Acknowledgements
A deep thank you to my beloved husband and best friend Jim, for
his good humor, his love, and his continued patience when the
‘A-word’ is brought up at social gatherings; and to my children:
Jimmy, for agreeing to let me tell his story, and Caroline, who
encouraged me throughout this book project in her own small
way. Much appreciation to my sister Dina Roberson, for her
unique and valuable insight as she read through my manuscript,
and to my dear friend and mentor Pamela Tanguay, who was the
‘other half of my brain’ throughout this project. I thank her for
the many brainstorming sessions, her listening skills, and her
judicious use of a razor-sharp editing hacksaw. Thanks to Barb
Kirby, for being there first – and always; to Robin Levinson for
giving me the confidence I needed to begin this book project,
and to Tony Attwood for not only supporting me in my efforts,
but the whole AS community as well. Thanks to Jessica Kingsley
for recognizing the need for this genre of books and for being a
pleasure to work with. A debt of gratitude to Debbie Dono,
Deanie Yasner and all the professionals who have given their
efforts and hearts to our family. And last, I would like to
recognize my parents, Marv and Doris Roberson, who by their
example taught me perception, discernment, the power of prayer,
and the value of listening to that ‘still small voice’.
13
1
There’s Something Wrong
With Your Son
‘Come in, Mrs. Fling,’ said my son’s preschool teacher,
gesturing towards the table with one grown-up sized chair and
several tiny chairs. I paused. It’s the old ‘Goldilocks’ thing again. I
have never been able to go to a parent–teacher conference and find
a chair that was ‘just right’. Why are the parents always the ones
that are made to sit with their knees up to their shoulders? I choose
a tiny wooden chair and gingerly let myself down, hoping all the
while that the chair won’t break under my weight.
Mrs. Wood and I talk amiably about our harried schedules. I
look around the brightly decorated room and notice one of the
walls is filled with red apples, each with a student’s name printed
neatly on it. I quickly spot Jimmy’s. During my chit-chat with Mrs.
Wood, she spoke of her daughter, now in middle school, who was
going through the typical pre-teen adjustment period. I talked of
my father-in-law, who had been bravely battling cancer and was
back in the hospital again. As we engaged in our polite perfunctory
conversation, I notice Mrs. Wood seems a bit distracted as she
arranges the folders on the table. Then suddenly she gets up to shut
the classroom door. In the two years that I have been coming to the
school for conferences, no teacher has ever shut the door during a
meeting. My senses are alerted. Either something is up, or else this
teacher is very formal. As Mrs. Wood walks back to the table, my
maternal antennae are up.
15
