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Introduction to Counselling

Introductory Report

According to American Psychological Association (APA, 2018), counseling is defined as

professional assistance in coping with personal problems, including emotional, behavioral,
vocational, marital, educational, rehabilitation, and life-stage (e.g., retirement) problems. The
counselor makes use of such techniques as active listening, guidance, advice, discussion,
clarification, and the administration of tests.

According to Gladding (2018), “counseling is a professional relationship that empowers

individuals, families, and groups to accomplish mental health, wellness, education, and career
goals while focusing on prevention, development, and remediation”.

The 2010 consensus definition of counseling includes several important elements for both
counselors and consumers to understand-Counseling focuses on wellness, personal growth,
career, education, and empowerment, addressing both personal and interpersonal issues.
Counselors help individuals find meaning, adjust to challenges, and achieve goals related to
mental and physical health, work, and school, while also advocating for social justice and the
oppressed.

Counseling can be provided individually, in groups, or with families, and may involve
short- or long-term interventions. Counseling is also diverse and multicultural, adapting to the
needs of clients from different backgrounds and stages of life, including addressing issues like
discrimination or prejudice.

Counseling is a dynamic process, where counselors not only focus on clients’ goals but
actively help them achieve them using various theories and methods. It is an engaging process
often described as “a rehearsal for action” (Casey,1996).

The American Counseling Association (ACA) also defines professional counseling

specialties, which focus on areas such as mental health, addiction, marriage, rehabilitation, and
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career counseling. Specialization within counseling requires advanced knowledge, but all
counselors must first meet the general practice requirements.

Counseling is a noble profession focused on growth, remediation, prevention, wellness,

and treatment across all life stages. Counselors assist individuals, couples, families, and groups
facing various challenges. The profession has evolved from multiple disciplines, including
psychology, education, and sociology (Smith, 2001). However, misconceptions persist, with
some equating counseling to guidance due to a lack of awareness. Even within the profession,
outdated views exist, as some fail to keep up with its development.

Counseling has evolved from its early roots in the progressive guidance movement of the
1900s, initially focused on helping individuals avoid poor life choices and find fulfillment. Over
time, the profession has grown to address wellness, development, and mental health across
various stages of life. Unfortunately, the term “counselor” has been misused for promotional
purposes in areas like pest control or financial advising, leading to confusion about its true
meaning. Modern counseling involves clinicians who work on personal growth, mindfulness, and
the remediation of mental disorders for individuals, groups, couples, and families (Smith, 2001).
To fully understand the profession, it’s essential to distinguish it from guidance and
psychotherapy.

Guidance primarily helps individuals make important life decisions, such as choosing a
lifestyle or career. While it has historical significance, the term is now less commonly used in the
context of counseling. A key distinction is that guidance focuses on decision-making based on
values, while counseling aims to help individuals make changes. Early guidance was often
provided in schools and career centers to assist students in making decisions, and it remains
relevant in various forms, such as parental and religious guidance. However, guidance is just one
aspect of professional counseling, which encompasses broader services aimed at personal growth
and mental health (Tyler, 1986).

Traditionally, psychotherapy focused on treating serious psychological issues like

intrapsychic disorders, internal conflicts, and personality problems. It emphasized insight over
change, past experiences over the present, and long-term therapeutic relationships.
Psychotherapy often took place in inpatient settings and involved a detached therapist acting as
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an expert (Casey, 1996). However, in modern times, the lines between psychotherapy and
counseling have blurred. Many counseling theories, such as psychoanalysis, are also referred to
as therapies and can be applied in various settings, making the distinction between the two
processes less clear.

Individuals pursue counseling for various reasons, often drawn by a desire to help others,
as the profession attracts caring, warm, and sensitive people (Myrick, 1997). However, it’s
important for aspiring counselors to self-reflect before committing to the profession, as some
motivations and programs are healthier or stronger than others. Studying counseling can also
benefit individuals, even if they don’t become counselors, by helping them gain insight into their
thoughts and actions, improve relationships, and develop moral reasoning, critical thinking, and
empathy.

The effectiveness of counseling depends on several factors, including the counselor’s

personality and background, their formal education, and their commitment to ongoing
professional development through continuing education, supervision, and advocacy. The
counseling process is dynamic and impactful, and if it is not beneficial, it can be harmful
(Carkhuff, 1969; Ellis, 1984; Mays & Franks, 1980). Therefore, both personal and professional
factors must be considered in the counseling profession.

The counseling process typically follows a structured approach, with sessions lasting
around 50 minutes, often called “the 50-minute hour” (Linder, 1954). While the content of each
session varies based on the client’s needs and the counselor’s approach, most counseling models
share a common framework. Cormier and Hackney (1993) initially outlined five
stages—relationship building, assessment, goal setting, interventions, and termination—which
have since been expanded into six stages: relationship building, assessment and diagnosis,
formulation of counseling goals, intervention and problem solving, termination and follow-up,
and research and evaluation.

At the beginning of counseling, the focus is primarily on relationship building,

assessment, goal setting, and intervention. As the process progresses, emphasis shifts toward
termination, follow-up, and evaluating the effectiveness of the counseling process to ensure
continued improvement.
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​ Stage 1 is Relationship Building, the counseling relationship is fundamental to the

therapeutic process and has been consistently linked to successful outcomes. It forms the
emotional and relational framework within which change occurs, offering both vitality and
support that foster client growth. Early studies by Kokotovic and Tracey (1990) and Lambert
(2011) underscore the importance of this relationship as a central element of effective
counseling. Sexton and Whiston (1994) similarly emphasized that the strength of the
counselor-client relationship significantly influences the progress and outcome of therapy. The
development of this relationship relies on both counselor-offered conditions—such as empathy
and congruence—and mutual elements contributed by both the counselor and client.

Carl Rogers (1957) was one of the earliest to articulate the core conditions essential for
personality change in therapy. His foundational ideas centered on empathic understanding,
unconditional positive regard, and congruence. Later, Carkhuff (1969, 1971) expanded these
conditions to include additional relational elements such as respect, immediacy, confrontation,
concreteness, and self-disclosure. Empathy, in particular, is often viewed as the most critical of
these conditions. It involves the counselor’s ability to deeply understand the client’s internal
world and convey that understanding in a way that the client feels heard and validated. Orlando
and Howard (1986) described empathy as an active, continuous process. Egan (2002) further
differentiated between primary empathy—basic emotional mirroring—and advanced empathy,
which involves deeper understanding through interpretation or self-disclosure.

Unconditional positive regard, another core condition, requires the counselor to accept
the client as a person of worth, irrespective of the client’s actions or choices. While some
scholars like Gelso and Fretz (2001) argue that complete unconditional acceptance may not be
entirely feasible, it remains a valuable goal in creating a nonjudgmental therapeutic space.
Respect similarly involves appreciating the client’s individuality and unique experiences.
Congruence, or authenticity, refers to the counselor’s ability to be genuine and transparent,
aligning their inner experience with their outward behavior. This fosters a sense of trust and
openness in the therapeutic alliance.

Immediacy, introduced by Carkhuff, focuses on addressing the present moment within the
counseling relationship. It involves bringing awareness to what is happening between the
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counselor and client in real-time, thus enhancing relational depth. Confrontation, though a
delicate skill, allows counselors to gently challenge inconsistencies in the client’s words or
behaviors in a constructive manner. Concreteness helps clients clarify and articulate their issues
in specific and manageable terms. Lastly, self-disclosure—when used thoughtfully—can
strengthen trust and rapport by demonstrating counselor vulnerability and relatability. However,
as Jourard (1958) emphasized, the nature and timing of such disclosures must always be guided
by the client’s needs and context.

Although Rogers’ original claim that these core conditions were both necessary and
sufficient for change has been questioned in later research, modern studies affirm that these
relational qualities enhance the therapeutic process. While not sufficient in isolation, core
conditions lay the foundation for deeper work and serve as facilitators of change. Their
effectiveness is shaped by the dynamic interplay between counselor and client.

The social influence model, developed by Strong, adds another dimension to the
counselor-client relationship by focusing on how counselors can establish influence. The model
posits two stages: first, counselors must be perceived as expert, attractive, and trustworthy, which
forms their base of influence. This is often achieved through professional behavior,
self-disclosure, and responsiveness. Once this base is established, counselors can use their
influence to guide clients toward positive outcomes such as greater self-awareness and
satisfaction with therapy.

In addition to counselor-offered conditions, the working alliance model recognizes the

client’s role in building a successful counseling relationship. It highlights the importance of
shared agreement on goals and tasks, as well as the development of an emotional bond. Factors
like client motivation, the counselor’s skill, and the compatibility between the two significantly
affect the strength of this alliance. Research shows that forming a strong working alliance early
in the process enhances therapeutic outcomes. It also emphasizes the need for counselors to
remain flexible and responsive, adjusting their approach to accommodate the client’s evolving
needs throughout the therapeutic journey.

Next stage are Assessments, they are key parts of the counseling process, helping
counselors gain a deeper understanding of a client and identify any mental health issues that need
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attention. This understanding guides goal setting and the selection of appropriate treatment
strategies. There are two types of assessment tools- standardized and nonstandardized.

Standardized measures include psychological tests that compare the client’s results to a
norm group, helping counselors see where the client stands in relation to others. Non
Standardized measures, such as clinical interviews or life history assessments, don’t have a
comparison group but still provide valuable insights into the client’s situation.

​ Stage 3 is counseling goals, which provide structure, direction, and purpose within
therapy. These goals serve motivational, educational, and evaluative functions. Motivationally,
when clients participate in setting their own goals, they feel more engaged and committed to
making meaningful changes. Strong and Claiborn (1982) highlight that when clients verbalize
their commitment to goals, their motivation to pursue them tends to increase.

​ Educationally, goals help clients learn new skills and adopt healthier behaviors. For
example, if a client wants to become more assertive, therapy might involve assertiveness training
and communication exercises to support that development. The evaluative function allows both
the client and counselor to track progress. Clearly defined goals serve as benchmarks, helping to
assess the effectiveness of the counseling process and offering a sense of accomplishment that
can be especially empowering during difficult periods.

​ Counseling goals are typically divided into process goals and outcome goals. Process
goals are led by the counselor and aim to build a strong therapeutic alliance through empathy,
genuineness, and unconditional positive regard. Outcome goals, created collaboratively, reflect
the client’s desired changes. These may involve behavior change, coping improvement, better
decision-making, relationship enhancement, or personal growth. For example, a client struggling
with life transitions may set goals to build stronger coping mechanisms or improve
communication in close relationships. Some clients may also aim for
self-actualization—pursuing their highest potential by overcoming internal barriers like fear and
low self-worth. Overall, setting clear and purposeful goals enhances the counseling experience
and increases the chances of lasting transformation.
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Stage 4 is Intervention and Problem Solving, after setting counseling goals, counselors
and clients select appropriate intervention strategies, which may include individual, group,
couples, or family counseling. Individual counseling is often suitable for intrapersonal issues,
while group counseling can help as clients gain confidence. Couples or family counseling is
more effective for interpersonal conflicts, such as marital or parent-child issues.

Involving clients in selecting interventions has benefits, such as avoiding previously

unsuccessful strategies (Devine & Fernald, 1973). Counselors and clients can jointly choose
realistic strategies based on strengths and weaknesses. Cormier and Cormier (1998) suggest that
counselors should provide an overview of available treatment approaches.Describe the roles of
both counselor and client in each method.Identify potential risks and benefits.Estimate the time
and cost involved.

Sensitivity to individual client characteristics such as values, cultural backgrounds, and

belief systems is a vital aspect of effective counseling (Cormier & Hackney, 1993). This
sensitivity ensures that the therapeutic process respects and aligns with the client's worldview,
making interventions more relevant and impactful. In addition to acknowledging cultural and
personal identity factors, counselors are encouraged to assess and utilize clients’ personal
strengths, including traits like self-control, emotional regulation, and ego strength. Smith’s
(2006) strengths-based model emphasizes building on these internal resources by fostering hope,
resilience, encouragement, and empowerment. These positive attributes serve as protective
factors against psychological distress and promote overall well-being.

Counseling interventions often revolve around problem-solving frameworks, which help

clients develop autonomy and confidence in handling life’s challenges. Dixon and Glover (1984)
proposed that the core of all counseling involves equipping clients with the tools to solve their
own problems. Kanfer and Busemeyer’s (1982) six-stage behavioral model outlines this process:
identifying a problem, defining it clearly, exploring alternative solutions, making a decision,
executing the chosen strategy, and verifying its effectiveness. This structured approach helps
clients move from emotional overwhelm to actionable clarity, providing a sense of control over
their situations.
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Research by Heppner, Witty, and Dixon (2004) highlights how effective counseling is
linked to enhanced problem-solving ability. Clients who perceive themselves as capable problem
solvers tend to demonstrate greater flexibility, adaptability, and resilience. In contrast, those who
lack confidence in their problem-solving skills often struggle with stress, anxiety, and other life
challenges. This self-perception—known as problem-solving appraisal—plays a significant role
in therapeutic outcomes. According to Butler and Meichenbaum (1981), clients who view
themselves as ineffective problem solvers may be at higher risk for mental health difficulties,
including suicidality in the context of depression. Bandura’s (1997) theory of self-efficacy
further supports this idea, suggesting that belief in one’s abilities is a key predictor of success
and well-being.

To assess and understand clients’ problem-solving orientations, Heppner and Petersen

(1982) developed the Problem Solving Inventory (PSI). This tool evaluates how individuals
approach, perceive, and appraise their problem-solving skills. Later findings by Heppner and
colleagues (2004) demonstrate that PSI is a useful instrument in addressing various mental
health, stress, and career-related concerns. It is especially helpful in identifying clients who may
be at risk due to negative problem-solving appraisals, providing an early intervention point in
therapy.

Another effective framework is Nystul’s four-step problem-solving model, which draws

on the theories of Adler and Glasser. Designed to enhance client involvement and reduce
resistance—particularly useful in brief therapy settings—this model begins with identifying
problematic behavior. Drawing on Glasser’s ideas, behaviors are described in active terms (e.g.,
“worrying,” “angering”) to emphasize the client’s agency and responsibility.

The second step involves exploring the purpose of the behavior using Adlerian principles.
Counselors encourage clients to consider when they began engaging in the behavior and what
need it fulfills, often linking this exploration to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. This approach is
respectful and nonjudgmental, focusing on understanding rather than blaming.

The third step is helping clients recognize the cost of not changing, using Homans’s
(1962) social exchange theory. Clients are gently guided to see how behaviors that once served a
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function may now be causing more harm than good. This realization can shift the client’s internal
motivation, making them more open to change.

Finally, the counselor supports the client in developing new strategies and behaviors to
meet their needs more effectively. This step emphasizes building healthy coping skills and
fostering adaptive responses, equipping clients with tools they can use outside of therapy to
maintain progress and resilience.

Together, these frameworks and models illustrate the importance of balancing cultural
sensitivity, strengths-based perspectives, and structured problem-solving techniques in
counseling. They empower clients to become active participants in their healing while fostering
greater self-efficacy, resilience, and personal growth.

Stage 5 is Termination and Follow-Up. The ultimate goal in counseling is counselors

becoming obsolete or unnecessary to their clients, which can occur when clients have worked
through their concerns and are able to move forward in their lives without the counselor’s
assistance. At this point, counseling can be terminated. Research has identified four components
of termination that are associated with positive outcomes in the counseling process (Quintana &
Holahan, 1992, p. 299). These components are discussion of the end of counseling, review of the
course of counseling, closure of the counselor-client relationship, and discussion of the client’s
future post counseling plans. In this process, clients can explore what they have learned in
counseling and identify how they will apply that knowledge to enhance their psychological
functioning. In addition, clients and counselors can process their feelings regarding the
counseling relationship and work toward closure regarding potential affective issues. Counselors
can also arrange a brief follow-up counseling session (e.g., several weeks after the last formal
session) to see how the client is doing and provide additional counseling services as necessary.

Stage 6 is Research and Evaluation. Research and evaluation can occur at any time
during the counseling process or after termination. Some behavioral approaches utilize
single-case or small-group research designs that require counselors to evaluate counseling
whenever they implement an intervention strategy. These research procedures involve
face-to-face interaction between the counselor and client. Other research procedures, which may
or may not involve direct interaction between counselor and client, are empirical research
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involving hypothesis testing and alternative methodologies, such as the discovery approach.
These procedures may be used before or after a client has terminated counseling.

Counselors must be active in helping clients change and develop. After rapport has been
established, counselors need to employ skills that result in clients’ viewing their lives differently
and thinking, feeling, and behaving accordingly.

Clients often come to counseling as a last resort, when they perceive that the situation is
not only serious but hopeless (Watzlawick, 1983). People think their perceptions and
interpretations are accurate. When they communicate their view of reality to others, it is
commonly accepted as factual (Cavanagh & Levitov, 2002). This phenomenon, called functional
fixity, means seeing things in only one way or from one perspective or being fixated on the idea
that this particular situation or attribute is the issue (Cormier, Nurius, & Osborn, 2017).
Counselors can help clients change distorted or unrealistic objectives by offering them the
opportunity to explore thoughts and desires within a safe, accepting, and nonjudgmental
environment. By paying attention to both verbal (i.e., language) and nonverbal (i.e., behaviors)
metaphors, counselors can help clients become more aware of where they are and where they
wish to be (Lyddon, Clay, & Sparks, 2001). They can also enhance counselor–client relationships
and intervention strategies as well as improve their own competence in moving beyond jargon
and fixed interpretations that may be less than accurate. Perceptions commonly change through
the process of reframing, a technique that offers the client another probable and positive
viewpoint or perspective on a situation. Such a changed point of view gives a client a different
way of responding (Young, 2017). Effective counselors consistently reframe life experiences for
both themselves and their clients.

Changing client perceptions requires persuasive skill and direction from the counselor.
Such input is known as leading. Counselors anticipate where their clients are and where they are
likely to go. They then respond accordingly. If they misjudge and the lead is either too far ahead
(i.e., too persuasive or direct) or not far enough (too uninvolved and nondirect), the counseling
relationship suffers. The type of lead counselors use is determined in part by the theoretical
approach they embrace and the current phase of counseling. Minimal leads (sometimes referred
to as minimal encouragers) such as “hmmm,” “yes,” or “I hear you” are best used in the building
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phase of a relationship because they are low risk. Maximum leads, such as confrontation, are
more challenging and should be employed only after a solid relationship has been established.

People have preferences for the way they process information through their senses.
Counselors can enhance their effectiveness by remembering that individuals receive input from
their worlds differently and that preferred styles influence perceptions and behaviors. Some
clients experience the world visually: They see what is happening. The importance of responding
in a client’s own language can be powerful. Counselors need to distinguish between the
predominantly affective, behavioral, and cognitive nature of speech. Affective responses focus
on a client’s feelings, behavioral responses attend to actions, and cognitive responses center on
thought. Thus, counselors working with affectively oriented individuals select words
accordingly.

The use of empathy is one of the most vital elements in counseling, one that transcends
counseling stages. The basic type of empathy is called primary empathy; the second level is
known as advanced empathy. Accurate empathy on both levels is achieved when counselors see
clients’ worlds from the clients’ point of view and are able to communicate this understanding
back. Primary empathy, when it is accurate, involves communicating a basic understanding of
what the client is feeling and the experiences and behaviors underlying these feelings. It helps
establish the counseling relationship, gather data, and clarify problems. Advanced empathy,
when it is accurate, reflects not only what clients state overtly but also what they imply or state
incompletely. Empathy involves three elements: perceptiveness, know-how, and assertiveness
Two factors that make empathy possible are (a) realizing that “an infinite number of feelings”
does not exist and (b) having a feeling of personal security so that “you can let yourself go into
the world of this other person and still know that you can return to your own world. Everything
you are feeling is ‘as if’.
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The Three Elements of Empathy

Self Disclosure may be succinctly defined as “a conscious, intentional technique in which

clinicians share information about their lives outside the counseling relationship”. Client
self-disclosure is necessary for successful counseling to occur. Yet it is not always necessary for
counselors to be self-disclosing. Client self-disclosure is necessary for successful counseling to
occur. Yet it is not always necessary for counselors to be self-disclosing. Clients are more likely
to trust counselors who disclose personal information (up to a point) and are prone to make
reciprocal disclosures (Curtis, 1981; Kottler et al., 1994). Adolescents especially seem to be
more comfortable with counselors who are “fairly unguarded and personally available” (Simone
et al., 1998, p. 174). Counselors employ self-disclosure on a formal basis at the initial interview
by giving clients written statements about the counselor and the counseling process (a
professional disclosure statement). They also use self-disclosure spontaneously in counseling
sessions to reveal pertinent personal facts to their clients. Spontaneous self-disclosure is
important in facilitating client movement (Watkins, 1990a).

It “focuses on the here and now and the therapeutic relationship” from the perspective of
how both the client and the counselor feel. At its core, immediacy involves a counsel or’s and a
client’s understanding and communicating at the moment what is going on between them in the
helping relationship, particularly feelings, impressions, and expectations. As a rule, immediacy
is difficult and demanding. It requires more courage or assertiveness than almost any other
interpersonal communication skill. Turock (1980) lists three fears many counselors have about
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immediacy. First, they may be afraid that clients will misinterpret their messages. Immediacy
requires counselors to make a tentative guess or interpretation of what their clients are thinking
or feeling, and a wrong guess can cause counselors to lose credibility with their clients. Second,
immediacy may produce an unexpected outcome. Many counseling skills, such as reflection,
have predictable outcomes; immediacy does not. Its use may break down a familiar pattern
between counselors and clients. In the process, relationships may suffer. Third, immediacy may
influence clients’ decisions to terminate counseling sessions because they can no longer control
or manipulate relationships. Some clients play games, such as “ain’t it awful,” and expect their
counselors to respond accordingly.

Clients do best in counseling when hope is engendered in the process. Hope is the
feeling that something desirable, such as the achievement of a goal, is possible. Hope has
multiple benefits, including increasing a client’s motivation to work on a problem. It has been
linked to academic success, athletic performance, psychological adjustment, and physical health.

Humor involves giving an incongruent or unexpected response to a question or situation

to the amusement of those involved. It makes people laugh, and healthy humor requires both
sensitivity and timing on the part of the counselor. Humor in counseling should never be aimed
at demeaning anyone (Gladding, 1995; Gladding & Wallace, 2016). Instead, it should be used to
build bridges between counselors and clients. If used properly, it is “a clinical tool that has many
therapeutic applications”. Overall, humor can contribute to creative thinking; promote
attachment; help keep things in perspective; and make it easier to explore difficult, awkward, or
nonsensical aspects of life (Bergman, 1985; Goldin et al., 2006; Nelson, 2008). However,
counselors must remember that to use humor effectively they must understand what is humorous
and under what circumstances it is humorous (Erdman & Lampe, 1996, p. 376). Therefore, they
need to realize before attempting humor in a counseling situation that both clients and counselors
must be comfortable with it as an activity, that there should be a purpose to it, that trust and
respect must have been established before humor is used, and that humor should be tailored or
customized to a particular client’s specific cultural orientation and uniqueness (Maples et al.,
2001).
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Confrontation, like immediacy, is often misunderstood. Uninformed counselors

sometimes think confrontation involves an attack on clients, a kind of “in your face” approach
that is berating. Instead, confrontation is invitational and a dialogue (Strong & Zeman, 2010).
Confrontation challenges a client to examine, modify, or control an aspect of behavior that is
currently nonexistent or improperly used. Sometimes confrontation involves giving
metacommunication feed back at variance with what the client wants or expects. This type of
response may be inconsistent with a client’s perception of self or circumstances
(Wilcox-Matthew, Ottens, & Minor, 1997). Confrontation can help people see more clearly what
is happening, what the consequences are, and how they can assume responsibility for taking
action to change in ways that can lead to a more effective life and better and fairer relationships
with others (Tamminen & Smaby, 1981, p. 42).

A good, responsible, caring, and appropriate confrontation produces growth and

encourages an honest examination of self. Sometimes it may actually be detrimental to clients if
counselors fail to confront. Avoiding confrontation of clients’ behaviors is known as the MUM
effect and results in the counselors being less effective than they might be (Rosen & Tesser,
1970). However, there are certain boundaries to confrontation (Leaman, 1978). Counselors need
to be sure that the relationships with their clients are strong enough to sustain a confrontation.
Counselors also must time a confrontation appropriately and remain true to the motives that led
to the act of confronting.

Contracts in counseling help both counselors and clients set clear goals and track
progress. There are two aspects of contracting: focusing on the process and concentrating on the
final outcome. Contracts provide a structured approach, helping clients change their thinking,
emotions, and behaviors. They offer several advantages, such as providing a written record,
motivating clients, making problems feel solvable, and encouraging responsibility. Effective
contracts should be specific, client-centered, and focused on change rather than external
pressures. The SAFE framework—Specificity, Awareness, Fairness, and Efficacy—ensures that
contracts are meaningful and empowering.

Despite their benefits, contracts have limitations. They cannot be enforced, may not suit
all problems, and often focus on behavior rather than deeper insight. Some clients may lose
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interest over time. Additionally, renegotiating contracts can be time-consuming. Counselors must
consider factors like client motivation, background, and available resources. They should also
anticipate potential resistance to ensure realistic and effective agreements.

Counselors help clients fulfill contracts by encouraging them to rehearse behaviors

overtly (acting out or verbalizing) or covertly (imagining and reflecting). Coaching, including
temporary aids and feedback, can enhance rehearsal. Feedback should be balanced and given
both orally and in writing. Counselors may also assign homework, or "empowering
assignments," to reinforce skills learned in sessions. Homework keeps clients engaged, tracks
progress, encourages responsibility, and helps modify behaviors. Cognitive - behavioral
counselors often use structured workbooks, but all counseling approaches can incorporate
homework if it aligns with measurable behavior changes and client needs.

Effective homework assignments can take various forms, such as behavioral practice,
risk-taking tasks, journaling, reading, or even doing nothing to break patterns. The creativity of
the counselor and client determines the type of assignment. To be beneficial, homework must be
relevant, meaningful, and consistently completed. By using rehearsal, feedback, and structured
tasks, counselors empower clients to take control of their progress and generalize their learning
beyond sessions.

Transference is the client’s projection of past or present feelings, attitudes, or desires

onto the counselor (Brammer, Abrego, & Shostrom, 1993; Brammer & MacDonald, 2003). It can
be used in two ways. Initially, transference reactions help counselors understand clients better. A
second way to use transference is to employ it as a way of resolving the client’s problems
(Teyber, 2000). All counselors have what Gelso and Carter (1985) describe as a transference
pull, an image generated through the use of personality and a particular theoretical approach. A
client reacts to the image of the counselor in terms of the client’s personal background and
current conditions. The way the counselor sits, speaks, gestures, or looks may trigger a client
reaction. Five patterns of transference behavior frequently appear in counseling: The client may
perceive the counselor as ideal, seer, nurturer, frustrator, or nonentity (Watkins, 1983b, p. 207).
The counselor may at first enjoy transference phenomena that hold him or her in a positive light.
Such enjoyment soon wears thin. Cavanagh and Levitov (2002) note that transference can be
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either direct or indirect. Direct transference is well represented by the example of the client who
thinks of the counselor as his or her mother. Indirect transference is harder to recognize. It is
usually revealed in client statements or actions that are not obviously directly related to the
counselor. Regardless of its degree of directness, transference is either negative or positive.
Negative transference is when the client accuses the counselor of neglecting or acting negatively
toward him or her. Although painful to handle initially, negative transference must be worked
through for the counseling relationship to get back to reality and ultimately be productive. It has
a direct impact on the quality of the relationship. Positive transference, especially a mild form
such as client admiration for the counselor, may not be readily acknowledged because it appears
at first to add something to the relationship (Watkins, 1983b). Indirect or mild forms of positive
transference are least harmful to the work of the counselor and client.

Countertransference refers to the counselor’s projected emotional reaction to or behavior

toward the client (Fauth & Hayes, 2006; Hansen, Rossberg, & Cramer, 1994). This reaction may
be irrational, interpersonally stressful, and neurotic—emanating from the counselor’s own
unresolved issues. Furthermore, countertransference is often “harmful to, threatening,
challenging, and/or taxing” to the counselor’s coping resources (Fauth & Hayes, 2006, p. 431).
Thus, managing countertransference successfully is related to better therapy outcomes (Hayes,
Gelso, & Hummel, 2011). The manifestation of countertransference takes several forms (Corey
et al., 2015). The most prevalent are (a) feeling a constant desire to please the client, (b)
identifying with the problems of the client so much that one loses objectivity, (c) developing
sexual or romantic feelings toward the client, (d) giving advice compulsively, and (e) wanting to
develop a social relationship with the client.

Ethical codes and standards of practice have been formulated by the American
Counseling Association (2014) and the American Psychological Association (2010). The ACA
code of ethics covers topics such as the counseling relationship; confidentiality and privacy;
professional responsibility; relationships with other professionals; evaluation, assessment, and
interpretation; supervision, training, and teaching; research and publication; distance counseling,
technology, and social media; and resolving ethical issues. The various ethical standards are
guidelines for what a counselor can or cannot do. Of course, each clinical situation is unique and
may require an interpretation of the particular code of ethics. The standards can therefore be
 17

viewed as guiding principles that counselors can use to formulate their clinical judgment. Mabe
and Rollin (1986) noted that the codes of ethics provide a framework for professional behavior
and responsibility and serve as a means for establishing professional identity.

Baruth and Huber (1985) have identified three major ethical issues that influence clinical
practice: client welfare, informed consent, and confidentiality. An additional major ethical issue
concerns dual relationships. An overview of these four ethical issues,

The counselor’s primary responsibility is the welfare of the client. In this regard, the
ACA’s and the APA’s codes of ethics indicate that the client’s needs come before the counselor’s
needs, counselors should practice within their area of competence, and counselors should
terminate or refer a client who is no longer benefiting from the service.

The ethical guidelines relating to informed consent require counselors to provide each
client with an overview of what counseling will entail so that the client can decide whether to
participate. Table 2.4 lists excerpts on this topic from the ACA’s (2014) and the APA’s (2010)
codes of ethics. Mardirosian, McGuire, Abbott, and Blau (1990) noted that counselors can assist
a client in giving informed consent by providing information on policies, goals, and procedures.
For controversial issues such as pregnancy counseling, the authors suggested that counselors
inform the client of their moral-value position.

One way of helping a client give informed consent is by providing a professional

disclosure statement. McFadden and Brooks (1983) suggested using a professional disclosure
statement that includes such helpful information as limits to confidentiality, type of licensure,
and theoretical orientation. For example, school counselors might mention that their approach
includes consultation with parents and teachers and counseling with students individually and in
small and large groups. In terms of theoretical orientation, school counselors might explain the
importance of a developmental perspective in addressing the developmental tasks of children at
different grade levels.

Confidentiality is a critical condition in counseling and psychotherapy (Paradise & Kirby,

1990). The client must feel safe in disclosing information to the counselor for the counseling
process to be effective (Reynolds, 1976). Denkowski and Denkowski (1982) identified two
 18

purposes of confidentiality in counseling: (a) protecting the client from the social stigma often
associated with being in therapy and (b) promoting the client’s vital rights that are integral to the
client’s welfare. The ACA’s (2014) and the APA’s (2010) codes of ethics provide guidelines
relating to confidentiality, as shown in Table 2.5. The major exception to the principle of
confidentiality is when clients pose a clear and imminent danger to themselves or others, such as
a client who threatens to commit suicide or kill someone (Gross & Robinson, 1987). It is
important to ensure that clients are aware of the limits regarding confidentiality before they begin
counseling. This can be accomplished in several ways, including the use of a professional
disclosure statement.

Dual relationships (or multiple relationships) involve counselors engaging in more than
one relationship with a client (Corey et al., 2015), for example, a professor also being a student’s
counselor. Dual relationships can be problematic and violate ethical and legal standards when
professional roles conflict (e.g., a counselor dating a client).

Lamb, Catanzaro, and Moorman (2004) provided information on how psychologists

identify, assess, and respond to potential dual relationships with clients, supervisees, and
students. Their research finds that relationships with supervisees in social situations is the most
commonly discussed area of concern regarding nonsexual dual relationships. These researchers
also noted that the main reasons cited by psychologists for not engaging in sexual dual
relationships are concerns regarding ethics, values, and morals.

Sexual relationships between counselors and clients have become an important

ethical-legal issue. Kitchener and Anderson’s (2000) recent surveys of the issues associated with
sexual relations in counseling suggest that 1% to 9% of male therapists and 0.04% to 2.5% of
female therapists have sex with their clients. Professional organizations have issued strong
prohibitions against sexual relationships between counselors and clients or even counselors’
implying that they are a possibility. Approximately 87% of psychologists have sexual feelings
toward clients; it is not considered unethical for a counselor to have sexual feelings, but acting
on them can result in ethical and legal problems.

The power differential associated with the counseling relationship can result in clients
being sexually exploited by counselors. Similar to the way in which ethical issues can arise from
 19

dual relations, sexual relations with clients can have adverse effects on the clients’ welfare in that
counselors may compromise their ability to keep the clients’ best interests uppermost because
counselors are concurrently attempting to meet their own needs. Furthermore, clients’ trust in the
counseling process can be undermined if the post counseling relationship does not work out.
Ethical codes (such as the APA’s 2010 ethics code) prohibit psychologists from entering into a
sexual relationship with clients for at least 2 years following termination of the counseling
relationship. In addition, it is incumbent on the psychologist to prove that there has been no
sexual exploitation as a result of the sexual relationship.
 20

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Introduction

Counselling microskills are specific, practical techniques that counsellors use to support
the counselling process. These skills are applied within the core functions of counselling — such
as building relationships, assessing the problem, and addressing the problem — and include tools
like observation, active listening, giving feedback, questioning, challenging, giving instructions,
and using humour.

While these micro-skills are commonly used with adults, they require adaptation when
working with young people. Adult counsellors often use skills aligned with their theoretical
approach for consistency, but counselling youth demands a more flexible and dynamic use of
micro-skills to match their developmental stage and less structured communication style.

To engage young clients effectively, counsellors need to proactively choose and apply a
wide range of micro-skills at appropriate moments. When used well, these skills help young
people feel engaged, accepted, and motivated to explore and resolve their issues.

Observation is a continuous and essential part of counselling sessions with young people.
However, interpreting these observations requires care, as young people often present a façade
that may not reflect their true internal state. This is due to their developmental uncertainty and
the need to feel accepted. Accepting this façade helps build trust, creating a safe space for the
young person to reveal their true self. To effectively engage, counsellors must learn and respond
to the behavioural and verbal language of young people. This involves observing patterns and
paralleling them—not by imitating youth, but by aligning communication styles in a genuine,
respectful way.

A young person’s appearance reflects how they wish to be seen and is a part of identity
formation. However, personal biases can affect how a counsellor interprets appearance. It’s
important not to over-interpret or stereotype. For instance, tattoos and piercings might be a
shield, not a sign of aggression. Appearance can signal how free or constrained a young person
feels in expressing themselves. If they put effort into standing out, a positive comment from the
counsellor—acknowledging and validating that expression—can aid in joining and engagement.
 28

Behaviour offers insights into how to connect with a young person. For example, if a
client is overly talkative or has poor boundaries, the counsellor should match their style to
promote connection, rather than correcting or withdrawing. Socially inappropriate behaviour
may reflect a lack of social skills rather than defiance. While modelling appropriate behaviour
can be helpful, it should be done after establishing a relationship. Early emphasis on correction
may harm the joining process. Restlessness or lethargy may reflect emotional states, but
counsellors must recognize that such behaviours can mask true feelings, especially if the young
person is skilled at hiding emotions.

Mood is the internal emotional state, while affect is its outward expression. These don’t
always align. For instance, a grieving young person might present with anger instead of sadness.
Counsellors must observe and respond to the presenting affect to help the client access deeper,
underlying emotions like grief or depression. When counsellors interact with young people, they
need to pay close attention not just to the words spoken, but also to how they are said and the
kind of language used. What the young person says offers insight into their thoughts, beliefs,
memory, and thinking ability. This helps counselors choose communication strategies that suit
the youth’s level of understanding.

Active listening builds trust and encourages young people to keep talking. It involves
several skills. Non-verbal responses, like eye contact, nodding, and facial expressions, show
interest and support. Encouragers, such as “mm-hm” or “go on,” help maintain the flow of
conversation but should be used carefully to avoid seeming fake or uninterested. Accenting and
amplifying means using gestures or vocal emphasis to highlight important parts of what the
young person says, helping them feel understood. Reflection of content and feelings includes
repeating back what the young person shared or how they feel, like “You’re feeling left out
because your friend ignored you.” While reflections are helpful, they should be used lightly with
young people so the conversation stays natural and engaging.

To communicate effectively, counselors should match the young person’s language style.
This includes using similar vocabulary, especially if the young person uses peer-group or cultural
slang. It also involves noticing whether the young person thinks more in pictures, sounds, or
feelings, and reflecting that style back—for example, saying “That sounds tough” to an auditory
 29

thinker. Young people also often use metaphors like “I feel like I’m drowning,” and when the
counselor responds using the same metaphor, it makes the conversation more relatable and
emotionally meaningful.

Summarizing means briefly repeating the main points a young person shared, using the
counsellor’s own words. It shows the counsellor has been listening closely and helps the young
person understand their own situation better. It also keeps the conversation focused and clear.

In Gestalt therapy, counsellors use awareness questions like, “What are you feeling emotionally
right now?” or “Where in your body do you feel that emotion?” to help clients notice and express
their internal experiences, promoting emotional healing. Circular questions, from the Milan
Systemic Model, gently gather information by asking about others' perspectives, making it easier
for young people to open up. Transitional questions keep sessions engaging by smoothly shifting
topics, such as, “Earlier you talked about leaving school—how are you feeling about that now?”

Choice questions from Reality Therapy help young clients reflect on different actions and
outcomes, encouraging responsibility. Guru questions, also from Gestalt therapy, invite clients to
step back and give advice to themselves, promoting self-reflection. Career questions exaggerate
current behaviors to explore long-term consequences, helping young people recognize the impact
of their choices but must be used with caution.

Externalizing questions from Narrative Therapy separate the problem from the person, like,
“How does your anger trick you into letting it take over?” Exception-oriented questions from
Brief Solution-Focused Therapy focus on times when problems don’t happen, helping clients see
their strengths. Strength-focused questions, like, “How did you avoid falling apart?” highlight
resilience in tough situations.

Miracle questions encourage imagining a life without the problem, boosting hope and
motivation. Goal-oriented questions help young people set personal goals and think about steps
to improve their future. Finally, scaling questions, like, “On a scale of 1 to 10, where are you
today?” help track progress and set clear goals for change.
 30

Presupposing change involves asking questions that assume some form of improvement
has occurred since the previous session. This technique helps clients recognize small but
significant shifts in their experiences or behavior that they may have otherwise overlooked. For
example, a counsellor might ask, “What has been different or better since our last meeting?” This
kind of question not only brings positive changes to the client’s attention but also reinforces
progress, which can boost motivation and foster hope. It’s a subtle yet powerful way to shift the
client’s focus toward growth and possibilities.

Challenging is an important counselling skill, especially when working with adolescents.

It involves questioning inconsistencies or harmful patterns in a client’s thoughts, words, or
actions—but it must be done with care to avoid damaging the therapeutic relationship.
Counsellors may need to challenge a client when their statements are contradictory, when they
engage in self-destructive behavior, avoid core issues, repeat the same stories, or display
mismatched verbal and non-verbal cues. Challenges can also be made when clients show
dependency or emotional transference towards the counsellor. The process should begin with
reflecting what the client has said, then possibly sharing the counsellor’s feelings, followed by a
concrete, non-judgmental observation. For instance, a counsellor might say, “You’ve talked
about caring for your mother, but also mentioned wanting to hurt her. I’m a bit confused by that.”
Done sensitively, challenging can prompt deeper insight and positive change.

In counselling, giving instructions can be essential, especially when applying specific

strategies. However, these instructions must be delivered in a respectful and collaborative
manner, avoiding any tone that feels patronizing or parental. The client, particularly if they are
young, should be given a clear choice to engage in the activity being suggested. Counsellors
must explain the purpose of the strategy and obtain consent before proceeding. Instructions
should be brief, clear, and to the point—examples include, “Tell me how you feel now,” or
“Choose a symbol to represent your disappointment.” It’s important for the counsellor to observe
how the client responds and adjust the strategy if it’s not effective, sometimes even choosing to
discontinue it if necessary.

Being directive involves guiding the client through certain counselling processes with
clear instructions while still maintaining their sense of autonomy. The counsellor must ensure
 31

that the young person is fully on board with participating in any structured strategy. It is crucial
to maintain a balance where the client feels empowered rather than controlled. When a directive
approach is used, it should involve concise and actionable language, such as, “Tell your football
coach how you really feel,” or “Change places and be your grandmother,” especially during
role-play or creative exercises. Monitoring and flexibility are key—if the directive approach isn’t
yielding desired outcomes, the counsellor should reassess and adapt the strategy.

Humour, when used appropriately, can be a powerful tool in counselling young people. It
helps ease tension, builds rapport, and creates a more relaxed environment for open conversation.
Counsellors who can tap into their “inner adolescent” and use humour sensitively can often
connect more effectively with young clients. One technique is the use of paradoxical
interventions—humorous exaggerations that highlight irrational thinking. For example, if a client
is anxious about being perfect in assignments, a counsellor might jokingly say, “Maybe you
should read your work twenty times and ask six friends to edit it too.” This humorous approach
can help the client gain perspective and challenge their own unrealistic standards. However,
humour must never be hostile, mocking, or insensitive to the client’s emotions. It requires careful
timing, content selection, and a deep awareness of the client’s vulnerability.

A study by Norcross and Lambert (2011) emphasizes the critical role of the therapeutic
relationship in achieving positive client outcomes. They present findings from a task force that
conducted meta-analyses on various elements of the therapy relationship, concluding that several
factors are demonstrably effective. These include the alliance in individual psychotherapy,
alliance in youth psychotherapy, alliance in family therapy, cohesion in group therapy, empathy,
and collecting client feedback. Other elements, such as goal consensus, collaboration, and
positive regard, were deemed probably effective. The authors advocate for integrating these
relationship factors into clinical practice to enhance therapeutic effectiveness.

Beck and Kulzer (2018), in their article “Teaching Counseling Microskills to Audiology
Students: Recommendations from Professional Counseling Educators,” emphasize the role of
counseling microskills in audiology practice. Although audiologists are not trained
psychotherapists, they often use key microskills—such as active listening, nonverbal
communication, silence, and empathy—to support patients effectively. The study highlights that
 32

these microskills help create a strong therapeutic alliance, which research links to better
treatment outcomes. The authors suggest that these skills should be taught early in graduate
training through experiential methods like role-play and simulated patient sessions, along with
practice, repetition, and detailed feedback. Proper teaching and assessment of these skills can
significantly enhance a student’s ability to engage patients and improve overall healthcare
results.

Devi et al. (2013) conducted a study to examine the relationship between college
counseling and academic performance among first-year MBBS students at SBMCH (2007-2008
batch). The study aimed to explore how counseling impacts students' academic success and
whether the number of sessions influences performance. Fifty-four students who attended
individual intake interviews participated, and their responses were analyzed alongside their
academic records. The results showed that 43% of students improved their marks by 15%-25%,
while 13% showed a 10%-15% increase. However, 31% had no significant improvement, and
4% showed no change. Additionally, the number of counseling sessions correlated positively
with academic performance. The study concluded that college counseling effectively helped
students manage personal difficulties, which, in turn, positively influenced their academic
outcomes.

A qualitative study by Godfrey & Rowland (2009) aimed to explore the long-term effects
of psychological therapies. Researchers conducted in-depth interviews with 15 individuals, 1–3
years after receiving primary care counseling, to identify lasting benefits and the mechanisms
that sustained them. The study developed a model of the change process, outlining phases such
as engagement, exploration, consolidation, and ending. Key mechanisms for sustained impact
included active client engagement, working toward solutions, and acquiring skills that promoted
ongoing personal growth. The concept of co-production—active participation during and after
counseling—was crucial in maintaining long-term benefits. This was further supported by
comparing experiences of three individuals who reported no lasting improvement.

A study by Lee et al. (2009) examined the impact of college counseling services on
students' academic performance and retention rates. The researchers found that students who
utilized counseling services demonstrated improved academic outcomes and higher retention
 33

rates compared to those who did not seek counseling. This suggests that counseling interventions
can effectively support students in overcoming personal and academic challenges, leading to
enhanced academic success.

Ridley et.al. (2011) critically evaluated the microskills training model, acknowledging its
central place in counselor education but also pointing out its limitations. They argued that while
microskills are essential, focusing solely on them may not be sufficient for developing overall
counseling competence. They suggested that a broader, more integrative approach is necessary to
enhance therapeutic effectiveness.

The aim of this practical was to understand the use of micro-skills of counseling
(open-ended questions, active listening, reflection, and paraphrasing) in communication with the
client in a counseling setup. Through the course of three counseling sessions, the goal was to
observe how the use of these skills influenced the client's ability to explore their emotions, gain
insight, and experience relief or clarity. Counseling plays a crucial role in supporting individuals'
mental well-being and overall functioning. Research indicates that even short-term counseling
interventions can help individuals manage stress, improve coping skills, and enhance emotional
resilience. This practice was undertaken to gain firsthand experience of conducting counseling
sessions and to understand the process of building a therapeutic relationship. One of the central
focuses of this practical was to examine the effectiveness of micro-skills—particularly
open-ended questions, active listening, reflection, and paraphrasing—in fostering meaningful
communication and supporting client growth. These skills are foundational to effective
counseling, as they help create a safe, empathetic, and non-judgmental space for clients to
express themselves. I chose to do this practical because I wanted to apply the theoretical
concepts I’ve learned into a real-life setting and understand the depth of a therapeutic
conversation. I felt both excited and nervous at the start—excited to build my skills, but also
aware of the responsibility that comes with being in a counselor’s role. As the sessions
progressed, I experienced a deep sense of connection and empathy for the client. I also realized
how mindful presence, tone, and choice of words can significantly impact the flow of a session.
Reflecting on this journey, I feel grateful for the opportunity—it was both challenging and
enriching, helping me grow personally and professionally.
 34

Procedure

We began by identifying and understanding the micro skills essential for effective
counseling sessions. We listed and discussed these skills in detail, ensuring a thorough
comprehension of their application in client interactions. To refine our understanding, we
engaged in mock counseling sessions with each other, practicing the skills and providing
constructive feedback to improve our approach.

Once we were confident in our practice, we moved on to finding actual clients. We

reached out to acquaintances who were willing to participate while ensuring strict confidentiality.
Although we initially faced some challenges in finding clients, we successfully managed to
recruit participants for our sessions.

We then conducted three to four structured counseling sessions, applying the identified
micro skills and maintaining a professional approach throughout. After completing the sessions,
we transcribed the conversations to analyze our performance. We identified the skills we had
used, evaluated their effectiveness, and reflected on possible alternatives that could have been
applied to enhance the counseling experience. This process allowed us to critically assess our
approach and gain valuable insights for future improvement.

Case description

My client is a 20-year-old undergraduate student, in their 3rd year of college. They reside
in Delhi. They presented with concerns related to emotional and adjustment issues in dealing
with major life change. They experienced anxiety and apprehension regarding the future, and
adjusting in a new scenario. Another problem was adjustment in social groups, as they faced
issues related to friends in college.

Reflections

​ The aim of the practical was to understand the use of microskills of counselling in the
communication with the client in a counselling setup. I conducted three sessions for this purpose.
Throughout the sessions, I was empathetic towards the counselee. I tried to practice the skills of
a counselor, focussing on the three skills, which are open ended questions, active listening and
 35

reflection. I was attentive and concentrated completely on the counselee. I tried to the best of my
ability to make them feel heard and accepted. I did not give any advice on how to solve their
problems, instead I let them navigate through the situations, exploring the emotions which were
felt and the thoughts that crossed their mind. I started the session by rapport formation, ensuring
that they feel comfortable. I asked open ended questions to continue the conversation and elicit
responses, making them feel more open to share their problems. It was my constant effort to
create an environment which is accepting. My focus was on understanding their viewpoint and
helping them achieve some benefits from these sessions.

Open-ended questioning is a valuable skill in counseling because it helps to promote

deeper reflection, fosters self-awareness, and encourages clients to explore their emotions and
experiences in a more meaningful way. According to APA, Open ended question is a question
that encourages the respondent to answer freely in their own words, providing as much or as
little detail as desired. I have seen firsthand how this technique allows the counselee to express
themselves freely, offering me richer insights into their internal world. By using open-ended
questions, one can guide the counselee to reflect on their feelings, uncover hidden beliefs or
assumptions, and gain clarity on their emotions and behaviors. Research supports the use of
open-ended questions as an essential technique in facilitating self-exploration and self-discovery
( Miller & Rollnick, 2013).

In all the sessions, I used open-ended questions to help the counselee explore their
feelings, motivations, and experiences more deeply. For example, in Session 1, I asked, "What’s
going on in the present that makes you feel like you need that distraction?" This question
encouraged the counselee to reflect on their academic pressures and thoughts about their future.
They revealed that they were feeling overwhelmed by the transition from college to the next
stage in life. By giving them the space to share their internal struggles, I was able to help them
explore their anxieties and coping mechanisms. In response, the counselee acknowledged the
academic pressures and uncertainty surrounding their future plans, which gave me valuable
insight into their emotional state.

In Session 2, I asked, "So how did you come to that clarity?" This prompted the
counselee to share how their internship experience and conversations with a friend helped them
 36

understand that working in the front office was a better fit for them than pursuing food
production. My open-ended question helped the counselee articulate the internal shift they had
gone through and recognize the clarity that was gained. In response, they shared that they had
initially struggled with self-doubt, but through self-reflection, they had come to terms with their
career choice and now felt more confident in their decision.

In Session 3, I asked, "So how do you usually respond now, when something like that
happens?" This question invited the counselee to reflect on how they had changed their approach
to social exclusion. The counselee shared that they now quietly withdraw instead of forcing
themselves into situations where they felt excluded. My open-ended question gave the counselee
the opportunity to express how their behavior had evolved and allowed me to gain insight into
their emotional growth.

While I effectively used open-ended questions in these instances, there were several other
opportunities to deepen the conversation by focusing on the counselee’s emotions, values, and
thought processes. For instance, in Session 1, instead of asking a leading question like “So now
that you’re leaving college and preparing to move out, that must feel like a big change? I could
have asked them what emotions they were feeling due to the situations, followed with "What is it
about the transition from college to the next phase that feels overwhelming for you?" This
question would have encouraged the counselee to reflect more deeply on the emotional aspects
of the transition, such as fear, excitement, or uncertainty, rather than just focusing on
surface-level feelings. This could have led to a more detailed exploration of the counselee’s
emotional experiences surrounding the upcoming changes in their life. Additionally, in Session
1, I could have asked, "How do you feel about your ability to manage these challenges over the
next few months?" to become more specific. This would have invited the counselee to think
about their strategies for managing the pressures they were experiencing and boost their sense of
agency in dealing with the challenges ahead.

In Session 2, I could have expanded on the question about the counselee’s clarity by
asking, "When you first felt the shift from food production to front office, what emotions did you
experience? How did your perspective change as you spent more time in the front office?" This
would have allowed the counselee to reflect not only on the practical aspects of their career
 37

decision but also on the emotional journey that led them to accept and even embrace this change.
It could have helped them explore the inner conflict they faced and the sense of fulfillment they
found in their new role. When the counselee shared their decision to pursue the front office
instead of food production, I could have asked, "Looking back at your journey, what has made
you feel most certain about your decision to pursue front office work? What do you enjoy most
about this field now?" This would have encouraged the counselee to focus on the positive aspects
of their decision and solidify their confidence in their chosen path.

In Session 3, when the counselee shared that they now withdraw instead of forcing
themselves into social situations, I could have asked, "What goes through your mind when you
choose to withdraw from social situations? How do you feel after you make that choice?" This
open-ended question would have helped the counselee reflect on the emotional triggers that lead
them to withdraw and how they feel afterward. By exploring these feelings more deeply, I could
have helped the counselee gain a better understanding of their emotional reactions to social
exclusion and explore ways to manage these emotions in the future. Also, by focussing more on
the counselee’s emotions, I could have understood more clearly if the counselee has actually
overcome these struggles or just claiming to. The counselee would also have been able to dig
deeper and analyse whether their emotional state matches their words.

In conclusion, while I used open-ended questions effectively throughout the counseling

sessions, there were still several opportunities to deepen the exploration by focusing on the
counselee’s emotions, self-perceptions, and motivations. By phrasing my questions to invite
more reflective and emotional responses, I could have enhanced the counselee's self-awareness
and encouraged further personal growth. These questions would have led to deeper insights into
the counselee’s thought processes and emotional responses, helping them gain more clarity and
acceptance in their journey. I could have phrased the questions in a better way to elicit responses
through exploration by the client, and allow them more autonomy.

Active listening is a fundamental skill in counseling that involves fully concentrating,

understanding, responding, and remembering what the counselee says. It goes beyond simply
hearing the words; it requires engaging with the counselee emotionally and mentally, which
builds trust and encourages open communication. According to APA, it is a psychotherapeutic
 38

technique in which the therapist listens to a client closely, asking questions as needed, in order to
fully understand the content of the message and the depth of the client’s emotion. The therapist
typically restates what has been said to ensure accurate understanding. Active listening is
particularly associated with client-centered therapy. This skill helps create a safe space for the
counselee to express their feelings without fear of judgment, which fosters a deeper connection
and promotes personal growth. Studies have highlighted the importance of active listening in
building strong therapeutic relationships and enhancing the effectiveness of counseling
(Brownell, 2012; Miller & Rollnick, 2013).

Throughout the sessions, I made sure to actively listen to the counselee by making them
feel heard and validating their emotions. In the first session, when the counselee said, “I’ll
actually get to work in the field I dreamed of,” I connected this to their earlier confusion between
food production and front office roles. By saying, “What was that dream?” and then later, “So
you discovered something new about yourself?”, I demonstrated that I was actively tracking their
emotional and career journey. The counselee opened up about their shift from food production to
the front office, revealing internal conflict, self-doubt, and eventual clarity. This disclosure was
rich and layered, and it came because the counselee felt understood and remembered. My
presence in their narrative helped build trust and motivated them to go deeper into their
self-exploration.

In Session 2, active listening surfaced through emotional acknowledgment. When the

counselee said they felt socially excluded and had always struggled with group dynamics, I
didn’t offer a solution. Instead, I asked, “Why do you say socially 50-50?” — a prompt that
stemmed from my recognition of their earlier struggles with belongingness. The counselee then
traced this pattern back to school and described how these feelings still appear occasionally. This
recognition of their long-standing emotional pattern only became possible because I had picked
up on their earlier emotional cues and made space for that narrative to be elaborated upon.

In session 3, my response “Hmm, I understand. We’ve touched on this before. So tell me

how are you feeling now, thinking about the fact that you’ll be leaving soon for your job?”
demonstrates active listening. By saying, “We’ve touched on this before,” I acknowledged that
this wasn’t a new topic; it was something the counselee had mentioned in earlier sessions. This
 39

reflected that I was emotionally present and attentive to her journey and that I had retained what
she shared with me previously. It helped reinforce to the counselee that her experiences weren’t
being forgotten or overlooked, and that I was tracking her points across sessions. By asking,
“How are you feeling now...”, I intentionally focused on her emotional state. This open-ended,
feeling-oriented question gave her the space to reflect and express herself freely. In response they
described emotions like sadness and ambivalence about leaving a space that, although difficult,
had become familiar. The depth of her response suggested that my active listening helped create
a space where she felt safe, validated, and genuinely heard. Because I demonstrated that I had
been listening over time and that I was curious about her internal world, she felt comfortable
sharing complex and conflicting emotions. This, in turn, allowed her to better explore her
experience of transition, not just as an external event, but as a deeply emotional and personal
process.

Another strong moment of active listening came when the counselee said they now
withdraw from social situations instead of forcing themselves into conversations. I followed up
by asking, “And emotionally, do you see a change?” This question was not based on new
information but built upon what the counselee had already shared, showing that I was holding
their words with care. In response, the counselee reflected on how they used to get angry but
now accepts the situation calmly, saying things like, “Okay, they don’t like it. That’s fine. What
can I do?” So it helped them track their own growth. Additionally, when the counselee
mentioned crying when overwhelmed, I asked, “Do you allow yourself to feel those emotions
now or still bottle them up?” This reflected my memory of earlier sessions where they talked
about emotional suppression. The counselee responded that while it’s a habit to bottle emotions
up, they are learning to manage them. This moment became an opportunity for emotional
validation, letting the counselee know their emotional efforts and struggles were being noticed.

Toward the end of Session 3, when I asked, “So, looking back, you feel like you’ve grown a
lot?”, I was acknowledging the arc of their progress over all the sessions. The counselee
responded with a heartfelt reflection on their personal development: “Absolutely. College life
brought a wave of emotions, challenges in behavior, confidence, and overall development. But
I’ve come a long way.” This question, while open-ended, was deeply rooted in active listening
 40

because it included past disclosures, internal conflicts, and present realizations. It gave the
counselee space to own their progress and feel proud of it.

While active listening was used effectively in these instances, there were additional
opportunities to deepen the process further. For example, in Session 1, when the counselee was
expressing their anxiety about the future, I could have used a more detailed reflective statement
to further engage with their emotions. Instead of just paraphrasing their feelings about
distraction, I could have said, "It sounds like you're not only feeling overwhelmed by the
academic pressure but also uncertain about what lies ahead after college. How does that
uncertainty make you feel about your future?" This would have encouraged the counselee to
explore their deeper fears and anxieties related to their post-college transition, giving me more
insight into their emotional landscape.

I could have used active listening particularly by acknowledging the current emotions,
highlighting internal contradictions, and attending to possible non-verbal cues. For example,
when the counsellee shared her ambivalence about moving out saying she always wanted to
leave but sometimes doubted if she could, I moved straight into a factual follow-up about her
plan, instead of reflecting the mixed emotions she expressed. Similarly, when she voiced concern
about how things would be managed at home in her absence, I labeled it as "worry" without
exploring whether it was guilt, sadness, or something else. These were missed opportunities to
deepen the emotional connection and allow her space to articulate what she truly felt. Another
moment was when she shared her happiness about pursuing her dream career; rather than
acknowledging her excitement, I immediately asked another question, which might have
overlooked her emotions. Emotional disclosures such as her crying before her internship or
expressing pride in her personal growth also deserved more validation and reflection. Instead of
pausing with her in those moments, I often shifted the focus toward progress or behavior. Even
subtle cues like a change in tone, pacing, or words like “deep down” and “odd one out” hinted at
unresolved emotions, which I didn’t fully attend to. By moving quickly into problem-solving or
forward-looking questions, I missed chances to sit with her in those emotionally rich moments.

The skill of reflection in counseling is crucial as it allows the counselor to mirror the
counselee’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences, creating an opportunity for the counselee to
 41

further explore and gain insight into their own emotions. Reflection involves paraphrasing and
summarizing which helps validate their experiences and ensures they feel heard. It also
encourages deeper exploration of their emotional states and can reveal underlying issues that
may not be immediately apparent. Reflection fosters trust in the therapeutic relationship by
demonstrating empathy and understanding, which in turn encourages the counselee to open up
more freely.

According to APA, reflection is a statement made by a therapist or counselor that is

intended to highlight the feelings or attitudes implicitly expressed in a client’s communication
and to draw them out so that they can be clarified. Research shows that the reflective practice in
counseling has a significant positive impact on the therapeutic process. According to Carl
Rogers, one of the founders of client-centered therapy, reflection allows the counselor to
demonstrate empathy and unconditional positive regard, two essential elements for effective
counseling. One helpful technique to express accurate empathy is reflection, which involves
paraphrasing and/or summarizing the feeling behind what the client says rather than the content.
This also allows clients to process their feelings after hearing them restated by someone else(Yao
and Kabir, 2023). By reflecting the counselee’s feelings, the counselor helps the client gain
greater self-awareness and facilitates the process of emotional processing (Elliott, Watson, &
Greenberg, 2004). Additionally, research by Cooper and McLeod (2011) suggests that reflection
helps counselors maintain a compassionate stance while fostering a sense of connection and
understanding with the counselee.

For example, in Session 1, when the counselee shared their struggles, I reflected by
saying, “So it’s about adjusting to a new place, making relationships, ek nayi life banana?” This
reflection helped the counselee recognize that I was fully listening to their concerns and trying to
understand the emotional weight they were carrying. In response, the counselee acknowledged
the overwhelming nature of their current situation and talked more about their coping
mechanisms, which helped me gain more insight into their emotional state.

In Session 2, when the counselee talked about their transition from food production to
front office work, I reflected by saying, "It sounds like, after your internship, you found clarity in
your decision to pursue front office work, even though it was difficult at first?" This allowed the
 42

counselee to realize that their internal conflict was valid but also that they had come to terms
with the shift. In response, the counselee elaborated on how they had experienced self-doubt but
ultimately accepted that the front office role aligned with their interests. This reflection helped
the counselee see that their struggles were part of a broader journey toward self-discovery and
acceptance.

In Session 3, when the counselee shared their experiences of social exclusion, I reflected
on their feelings by saying, "So, you're saying that now, when you don’t feel included, you
choose to withdraw rather than force yourself into situations?" This reflection showed the
counselee that I recognized their emotional process of withdrawing as a conscious choice,
signaling their growth in coping with social situations. The counselee responded by confirming
that they had learned to let go of the need to force interactions, recognizing that it was healthier
to accept their emotions and let go of social pressures. This response demonstrated the
counselee's emotional growth and their increasing ability to handle social challenges with more
acceptance.

In these sessions, I used reflection effectively to engage the counselee in deeper

exploration of their feelings and experiences. However, there were additional instances where
reflection could have been enhanced. In Session 1, after the counselee expressed frustration with
feeling overwhelmed, I could have deepened the reflection by saying, "It sounds like the
assignments and pressure are making you feel trapped. How does that pressure affect your
motivation?" This would have allowed the counselee to explore their feelings about pressure
more fully and examine how it impacted their sense of capability, which could have led to more
productive discussions about stress management. Additionally, in Session 1, after the counselee
expressed their use of distractions, I could have reflected on their coping strategy by saying, "It
sounds like the distractions, like TV, give you temporary relief from stress. What do you think
you’re avoiding when you do this?" This would have provided a deeper reflection on what the
counselee might have been avoiding by using distractions, opening up a space for the exploration
of more adaptive coping mechanisms.

In Session 2, when the counselee shared their journey toward clarity about their career
path, I could have extended the reflection by saying, "It seems like you were struggling with
 43

doubt, but through talking with your friend and your internship, you found a sense of clarity.
How did those experiences help you trust your decision?" This would have given the counselee a
chance to articulate how external factors, like conversations with a friend, helped them reframe
their internal struggles, offering more insight into their decision-making process. In Session 2,
when the counselee talked about overcoming self-doubt, I could have deepened the reflection by
saying, "You mentioned that it took a long time to accept the change in your career path. What
helped you in that process?" This would have allowed the counselee to examine the specific
factors that helped them move past their self-doubt, providing valuable insights into their
personal growth and resilience.

In Session 3, when the counselee mentioned their social exclusion, I could have reflected
more deeply by saying, "It sounds like, despite the occasional feelings of exclusion, you’re
coming to terms with the idea that you can’t control others’ actions. How do you feel about that
acceptance now?" This would have encouraged the counselee to explore their emotional state
related to their acceptance and provided a chance to acknowledge any residual hurt or emotional
healing still in progress. When the counselee mentioned feeling left out, I could have reflected
further by saying, "It seems like you’re learning to accept these feelings of exclusion, but how do
you think this has changed how you view your role in social groups now?" This would have
encouraged the counselee to explore the shift in their self-perception and how they had evolved
in handling social dynamics, giving them an opportunity to recognize how far they had come in
their personal development.

In conclusion, reflection was effectively used throughout these sessions to validate the
counselee’s experiences and emotions, and it facilitated deeper exploration of their thoughts and
feelings. While the reflections were generally impactful, there were opportunities to deepen the
process further by asking more thought-provoking questions and offering reflections that
encouraged the counselee to explore the emotional layers of their experiences more fully.

Projection, in the context of counseling, refers to a situation where the counselor

unconsciously attributes their own feelings, thoughts, or experiences onto the client. This is also
known as countertransference, a concept that occurs when personal emotions or unresolved
issues influence how one perceives the client. Instead of responding in an objective, empathetic
 44

way, I might unintentionally let my own background interfere, which can hinder the progress of
the trust- relationship. Countertransference if unacknowledged or unmanaged, can lead to
over-identification, unconscious bias, and a loss of neutrality, making it difficult to truly listen to
and understand the client.

Studies have acknowledged the significance of countertransference in therapy. Gelso and

Hayes (2007) emphasized that countertransference is an inevitable part of the therapeutic
process. When managed well through self-awareness and supervision, it can offer insight into the
client’s emotional world. However, if left unchecked, it risks distorting the counselor’s
perceptions. Horvath et al. (2011) also pointed out that unrecognized countertransference can
erode objectivity and harm the therapeutic alliance. These studies highlight the need for
continuous reflection and supervision to ensure the counselor stays focused on the client’s needs
rather than my own emotional reactions.

While analyzing the transcript of the sessions, I recognized that projection subtly
influenced the direction of the conversation at a few points. One clear instance was when I said,
"Of course, you are going to a new place, away from your home for the first time, isse kuch
uncertainty aur doubts aana normal hai." In saying this, I assumed that her uncertainty was linked
to being away from home for the first time—even though she hadn’t explicitly said that. While I
intended to normalize her experience, I realize now that I was interpreting her situation through
my own lens rather than letting her define what was causing her anxiety. A more client-centered
approach would have been to explore her uncertainty with curiosity, rather than assigning a
reason for it myself.

Another moment where projection came through was when I offered the suggestion, "You
should take half an hour out of your day to do these activities, either crochet or book reading.
And if you feel overwhelmed, you can try journaling as well." I see now that I was
recommending coping strategies that I personally find helpful or that are commonly suggested,
without checking whether these would be meaningful or realistic for her. Although crochet and
book reading was mentioned by the client before, journaling was a new suggestion. Instead, I
could have asked her what she feels drawn to when she’s overwhelmed or what small steps she
believes might help her manage her time and emotions better.
 45

I also noticed a more subtle form of projection when I said, "That’s a very healthy
perspective. So now you're more confident?" While I was trying to affirm her growth, by calling
her outlook “healthy,” and “confident”, I placed a value judgment on her experience based on my
own beliefs about what emotional progress looks like. I understand now that it would have been
more respectful and empowering to stick with her words and invite her to reflect further on what
that clarity meant to her, in her own terms. Lastly, when I said, "So basically, with more
exposure, there’s been a lot of personal development thinking, I’d say,". I shifted the narrative
slightly away from her perspective. A better response would have been to reflect her actual
experience of clarity and ask how she sees her personal growth.

Overall, while my intentions were supportive, I see now that I sometimes leaned into
interpretive responses. Moving forward, I have learned to focus more on staying curious, using
the client’s own language, and allowing their experience, not mine, to lead the conversation. To
avoid this, I must stay committed to self-awareness. Checking in with myself before sessions,
recognizing if anything the client says triggers a personal memory or emotion is critical. Using
open-ended, client-centered questions allows the session to be guided by their voice, For
instance, instead of saying “I know it’s tough,” I could ask, “How do you experience that?”,
inviting them to speak freely. Supervision also plays a key role. By discussing problems with
experienced peers or supervisors, I can gain perspective and recognize when countertransference
might be apparent.

Apart from this, I also tried to be empathetic throughout the sessions. I tried my best to
understand situations, their understanding, responses and actions from the client’s perspective. I
also practiced observation, focussing on the counselee’s nonverbal behavior, like her facial
expression and how it linked with the responses she was giving. I also paid attention to her tone.
This made me realize a few things. In the first session, the counselee made the claim that they are
at peace with not being included in social situations by her friends, but it contradicted with their
expressions. I felt that they have not completely dealt with some issues, and although they have
come far, the problems are still present which they might be neglecting or even rejecting. But
throughout the sessions, as they talked more about it, I noticed that they came to a realization
that some issues are yet to overcome. They accepted that there is a long way to go. The client
 46

also became more open to getting actual, professional counseling. They told me informally, that
they are very keen to explore counseling or therapy.

During the sessions, and also while reading the transcript I realized that I am making a
better effort at reflection and paraphrasing. I tried to become more reflective toward the
counselee’s emotions. Trust-building was an ongoing and consistent process throughout the
sessions. Through active listening, a non-judgmental attitude, and creating a safe space, I was
able to foster a sense of comfort and reliability. As a result, the counselee gradually became more
open, reflective, and emotionally expressive. With each session, they appeared increasingly
comfortable sharing deeper thoughts, personal experiences, and vulnerabilities indicating a
growing sense of trust. As I have mentioned the specific areas of improvement, one major
fallback from my side was that I had problems in framing questions, which became leading more
than open ended. This took responsibility away from the client and might have hindered their
actual feelings and thoughts.

Throughout the counseling sessions, the counselee made a growth in both their emotional
well-being and self-awareness. One of the key benefits was the increase in self-acceptance.
Self-awareness played a crucial role in the counselee's growth. As they reflected on their journey,
they began to realize not only what suited them in terms of career but also how their past
experiences shaped their present decisions. As they reflected on their emotional responses,
choices, and behavior patterns, they became more conscious of the reasons behind their actions.
Self-awareness not only empowered them to accept their past decisions but also enabled them to
approach future challenges with more clarity, knowing that they could navigate them based on
their true values and strengths. The counselee acknowledged how they used to feel overwhelmed
by the pressure of making the "right" career choice, but their self-awareness grew as they
considered their true interests. During the internship, when they explored the front office role,
they gained insights into their strengths and preferences, which helped them gain clarity and a
sense of direction. This internal exploration allowed them to make decisions based on what truly
resonated with them, rather than external expectations or confusion, and throughout the sessions
they became more aware and accepting of that.
 47

Another major benefit was the counselee’s ability to become increasingly aware of their
emotions, how they managed them and reacted to situations. They tried to express themself more
openly and share their emotions, understanding that it wasn’t always their fault when things went
wrong. As they reflected, “I used to blame myself for everything,” but now they realize it’s not
their responsibility to manage others' reactions. This shift allowed them to understand feelings of
guilt and self-blame, fostering a healthier self-image.

The counselee also analyzed the growth they achieved in developing a much more
balanced perspective on social relationships. As they mentioned, they learned to stop forcing
them self into social situations where they felt excluded or unappreciated. Instead, they began to
practice withdrawing quietly when necessary, as they no longer felt the need to prove their worth
to others. The change in their approach to relationships became evident when they mentioned, “I
quietly get out of the situation. Earlier, I used to try hard like forcing myself into conversations
just to show people I was there, to be noticed. Now, I don’t do that. If the other person isn’t
putting in the effort, why should I?” They realized how much they have grown in terms of social
relationships and this assured them that they are more equipped to deal with future situations as
well.

The client could get a chance to emotionally relieve themself, by venting out their
feelings, as they mentioned “halka feel hua”. They were very overwhelmed by their problems,
and venting out gave them a sense of emotional lightness and temporary release. By sharing their
thoughts aloud in a non-judgmental space, they were able to acknowledge the weight of their
emotions rather than keeping them bottled up.

One of the most significant benefits was the counselee’s growing sense of independence and
self-focus. They reflected on how they used to have a “people-pleasing attitude” and now felt
more empowered to focus on their own needs and desires. They tried to accept themself and the
decisions that they took. They realized that they still face a lot of problems which they thought
were in the past, and they realize that it is a part of the healing journey. The counselee also
focused on the self-growth that was achieved by different experiences and gained pride in it.

The three counseling sessions served as a valuable foundation that gave me the
opportunity to apply essential counseling skills in a real-world context while enhancing my
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awareness of client emotions, both verbal and non verbal, as well as the ethical considerations
involved in therapeutic practice. I developed a deeper understanding of how meaningful it is for
clients to feel truly heard, and the importance of maintaining emotional presence without
interrupting or trying to fix things too quickly. As I continue to grow, I aim to strengthen my use
of reflective questioning, make clearer connections to theoretical frameworks, and further
cultivate a compassionate, client-centered style of therapy.

Table 1: Showing Benefits achieved by the client in the three sessions

Benefit Excerpt from the transcript Description

Emotional Venting & Relief “Thoda halka feel hua.”​ Expressing emotions
(journaling, crying) led to
release of bottled-up
feelings, making space for
healing and clarity.

Improved Self-Awareness “I realized I liked front Gained deeper

office more.”​ understanding of personal
“I think long-term and interests and
analyze before deciding.” decision-making patterns,
especially during transitions
and conflicts.

Increased belief in self “I can do this.”​ First-hand experience

“Now I feel like, what’s the through internship and
big deal?” academics enhanced belief
in own capability to face
challenges independently.
 49

Acceptance of Self “Now I don’t even think Letting go of comparisons

about what others say.”​ and social expectations
“It’s not my fault.” helped in embracing one’s
unique journey and choices.

Acceptance of Anxiety “There will always be some Normalized feelings of

anxiety… and that’s okay.” nervousness and learned to
differentiate between
helpful and harmful anxiety.

Pride in Personal Growth “I’m proud of the progress Acknowledged the

I’ve made.” emotional work and changes
made over time—building
positive self-regard.

Understanding internal “I just go and do it. I know I Transition from relying on

validation can.” others’ validation to trusting
own judgment and abilities.

Conclusion

This practical was conducted to understand the use of microskills of counselling,

specifically Open ended questions, active listening, reflection and paraphrasing in the
communication with the client in a counselling setup. Three sessions were conducted and these
skills were applied throughout the duration of all the sessions. The reflections of these sessions
were noted down, highlighting the areas where the skills were used and also what improvements
could be done in application of these skills, to ensure a trustworthy counseling relationship. The
benefits that were possibly gained by the counselee were also analysed and mentioned.
 50

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