Spiritual Characteristics
of Children
A Guide for Ministry Leaders, Parents, and Caregivers
Children’s spirituality expert Dr. Rebecca Nye states: “Children’s ministry is more than work with children; it is a
much wider task of helping the whole church understand what it is about childhood that may help us all to enter
the kingdom.”1 The spiritually developing child has a gift to offer the local church, calling all of us—both young and
old—into a deeper life with God and one another.
While predominantly unvoiced, a child’s spiritual development is a wonder to behold, manifesting itself in
uniquely childlike ways. What might look like childish play is serious spiritual work for a child and often can be
overlooked or undervalued by adults. It is important to remember that a child’s spiritual development and
cognitive development are different. We must be careful not to replace knowing God with knowing about God.
Additionally, the environment children grow up in (both home and church) plays a critical role in shaping their
understanding of God, God’s people, and themselves.
The following statements provide a framework in understanding children’s spiritual development:
● Children have a growing perception of who God is.
● Children are able to authentically express their faith in a variety of ways.
● Children are developing morally and spiritually, and these types of development are distinctly different.
● Children are developing holistically; their spiritual development includes all of them—their bodies, their
minds, and their relationships, both personal and communal.
● Children are able to learn and make meaning of their faith in a variety of age-appropriate ways.
● Children are an important part of the faith community and can contribute to its spiritual life.
While each child’s spiritual developmental path is unique, there are common patterns. Being aware of these
patterns can equip congregational leaders, parents, and caregivers to help children come to know and love God.
For support with developing the children’s ministry in your congregation, contact Thrive ([email protected]). For
more resources on children’s ministry, check out our Suggested Resources page.
1
Nye, Rebecca. “Hide and Seek: What Do We Know about a Child’s Spiritual Life?” The Church of Scotland;
churchofscotland.org.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0003/37758/What_we_know_about_a_Childs_ Spirituality_-_R_Nye.pdf.
Infants and Toddlers . . .
● develop an early understanding of God based on their relationships and experiences with caregivers.
● start to copy actions like folding hands, receiving and giving blessings, enjoy being present among God’s
people, and may repeat or sign “amen” during prayers. Imitation is an important step in developing an
authentic expression of faith.
● are beginning to understand their own needs and to respect boundaries and follow directions. Young
children need safety and secure attachment with loving adults as they explore the world around them and
begin to discover their agency.
● are learning to express emotions, including appropriate responses such as joy, love, and sadness from the
expressions of those around them. Young children learn to receive love and to give love back through
loving and caring relationships.
● typically begin to develop language skills, including a language about life with God.
● provide the faith community with a picture of what it means to be loved by and dependent on God.
Preschoolers . . .
● have a growing sense that God is very special and real, and readily accept what you say about God. With
little effort, young children are able to believe in things they can’t see. Parents, caregivers, and children's
ministry leaders have a great opportunity and responsibility to provide a genuine picture of God to
children.
● sense that God loves and cares for them and that they can love and trust God.
● tend to have a literal concept of God, perhaps as a grandparent figure.
● can recite simple prayers and may add their own contributions to prayers.
● generally do the “right thing” out of fear of punishment or to win approval. Parents and caregivers can
affirm that a child’s belovedness and identity in Christ is not based on their behavior.
● sense that church is a good place to be. Preschoolers can express love and enjoy being part of God’s
people and form understandings about the world, the church, and expected behaviors through
observation and mimicking of the people in their communities.
● learn primarily through play. Playing church is a significant way for them to explore and try out what they
are experiencing and trying to understand.
● approach Scripture with awe and wonder. They enjoy frequent repetition of Bible stories because they are
continually exploring and discovering new connections.
5- and 6-year-olds . . .
● can have a very real spiritual nature and a strong sense of who God is, and they may relate to Jesus as their
friend.
● can express their love for Jesus in words and actions.
● understand God’s love and our response within the context of everyday experiences. By and large, they
are still concrete thinkers.
● are aware of right and wrong, and begin to experience guilt and understand forgiveness. As children
experience the world and learn what is right and wrong, caregivers can help them learn appropriate
responses in ways that align with biblical values.
● need to experience safety and secure attachment to develop resilience that will serve them as they
navigate life in a broken world. They look to the community and the context around them for cues on how
to act and respond in various spaces.
● are developing socially and learning to build friendships at school, in their neighborhoods, at church, and
possibly online.
● can be delighted and awed by Bible stories and often use their imagination to ask questions and wonder,
which is essential to a child's understanding of the world and their own spiritual identity.
● often reenact Bible stories through play as a way to make meaning of what they are learning.
7- and 8-year-olds . . .
● often express opinions and feelings about God and church and ask many “why” and “how” questions. Their
curiosity is an important part of their spiritual development and a place where they can meet God.
● are usually capable of understanding basic salvation concepts and of making a commitment to Jesus, but
may do so simply out of a desire to please adults.
● often include prayer in their daily routines. Their prayers are frequently self-centered but are sincere and
offered in faith.
● are capable of developing preferences around Bible reading and other personal faith practices.
● often still see issues in black and white but are beginning to understand fairness and to consider another’s
needs and circumstances.
● experience belonging to the faith community through intergenerational relationships and their ability to
make authentic contributions from their gifts and abilities. They enjoy expressing themselves and using
their knowledge and creativity to demonstrate their learning.
● are developing an increased awareness of the larger world around them through exposure to technology
and an increased social network.
● have gifts to contribute to the faith community. Church leaders must cast vision for an environment where
participants of all ages contribute.
9- and 10-year-olds . . .
● are more inclined to look inward than are younger children and may ask questions and wonder about
making a commitment to Christ.
● desire to be taken seriously and may ask where their place is within the faith community and the larger
faith story.
● make connections between what they are learning in school, life experiences, observations, media,
culture, and what they are learning in the church.
● are becoming more independent from families and need opportunities to express their personal spiritual
understandings.
● are forming understandings and beliefs about technology and social networks based on their experiences.
● are forming stronger and more complex relationships with peers and may experience bullying and peer
pressure.
● are developing a conscience: a personal sense of right and wrong that often expresses itself in judgments
of what’s unfair or unjust. When nurtured appropriately, it can lead to a Micah 6:8 vision—acting justly,
loving mercy, and walking humbly with God, thereby striving for a life guided by integrity, compassion, and
humility.
● show genuine curiosity toward others and are open to learning about other cultures.
● may show an increasing concern for people who are hungry, unhoused, or poor.
● may be able to deal with moral questions in terms of motives and consequences, love, loyalty, promises,
and so on.
● understand why we pray and are often able to make up spontaneous prayers.
● desire to lead younger children but also want to hang out with the older kids and be mentored by them.
● desire authenticity as well as the opportunity to contribute meaningfully to the life of the church and be
developed as leaders. They love to be taken seriously and will rise to meet high expectations.
● are capable of discerning God’s will and following it. Caring adults can help children begin to recognize
and respond to God in the circumstances of their lives.
