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Crime and Punishment

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Translated By Constance Garnett

 TABLE OF CONTENTS

Translator’s Preface

Part I

Chapter I

Chapter II

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Chapter VII

Part II

Chapter I

Chapter II

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Chapter VII

Part III

Chapter I

Chapter II

Chapter III
 Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Part IV

Chapter I

Chapter II

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Part V

Chapter I

Chapter II

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Part VI

Chapter I

Chapter II

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Chapter VII
 Chapter VIII

Epilogue

II
 TRANSLATOR’S PREFACE

A few words about Dostoevsky himself may help the English reader to understand
his work.
Dostoevsky was the son of a doctor. His parents were very hard-working and
deeply religious people, but so poor that they lived with their five children in only
two rooms. The father and mother spent their evenings in reading aloud to their
children, generally from books of a serious character.

Though always sickly and delicate Dostoevsky came out third in the final
examination of the Petersburg school of Engineering. There he had already begun
his first work, “Poor Folk.”

This story was published by the poet Nekrassov in his review and was
received with acclamations. The shy, unknown youth found himself instantly
something of a celebrity. A brilliant and successful career seemed to open before
him, but those hopes were soon dashed. In 1849 he was arrested.
Though neither by temperament nor conviction a revolutionist, Dostoevsky
was one of a little group of young men who met together to read Fourier and
Proudhon. He was accused of “taking part in conversations against the censorship,
of reading a letter from Byelinsky to Gogol, and of knowing of the intention to set
up a printing press.” Under Nicholas I. (that “stern and just man,” as Maurice
Baring calls him) this was enough, and he was condemned to death. After eight
months’ imprisonment he was with twenty-one others taken out to the
Semyonovsky Square to be shot. Writing to his brother Mihail, Dostoevsky says:
“They snapped words over our heads, and they made us put on the white shirts
worn by persons condemned to death. Thereupon we were bound in threes to
stakes, to suffer execution. Being the third in the row, I concluded I had only a few
minutes of life before me. I thought of you and your dear ones and I contrived to
kiss Plestcheiev and Dourov, who were next to me, and to bid them farewell.
Suddenly the troops beat a tattoo, we were unbound, brought back upon the
scaffold, and informed that his Majesty had spared us our lives.” The sentence was
commuted to hard labour.

One of the prisoners, Grigoryev, went mad as soon as he was untied, and
never regained his sanity.

The intense suffering of this experience left a lasting stamp on Dostoevsky’s

mind. Though his religious temper led him in the end to accept every suffering
with resignation and to regard it as a blessing in his own case, he constantly recurs
to the subject in his writings. He describes the awful agony of the condemned man
and insists on the cruelty of inflicting such torture. Then followed four years of
penal servitude, spent in the company of common criminals in Siberia, where he
began the “Dead House,” and some years of service in a disciplinary battalion.
He had shown signs of some obscure nervous disease before his arrest and
this now developed into violent attacks of epilepsy, from which he suffered for the
rest of his life. The fits occurred three or four times a year and were more frequent
in periods of great strain. In 1859 he was allowed to return to Russia. He started a
journal — “Vremya,” which was forbidden by the Censorship through a
misunderstanding. In 1864 he lost his first wife and his brother Mihail. He was in
terrible poverty, yet he took upon himself the payment of his brother’s debts. He
started another journal —“The Epoch,” which within a few months was also
prohibited. He was weighed down by debt, his brother’s family was dependent on
him, he was forced to write at heart-breaking speed, and is said never to have
corrected his work. The later years of his life were much softened by the
tenderness and devotion of his second wife.

In June 1880 he made his famous speech at the unveiling of the monument to
Pushkin in Moscow and he was received with extraordinary demonstrations of
love and honour.

A few months later Dostoevsky died. He was followed to the grave by a vast
multitude of mourners, who “gave the hapless man the funeral of a king.” He is
still probably the most widely read writer in Russia.
In the words of a Russian critic, who seeks to explain the feeling inspired by
Dostoevsky: “He was one of ourselves, a man of our blood and our bone, but one
who has suffered and has seen so much more deeply than we have his insight
impresses us as wisdom . . . that wisdom of the heart which we seek that we may
learn from it how to live. All his other gifts came to him from nature, this he won
for himself and through it he became great.”
 PART I

CHAPTER I

On an exceptionally hot evening early in July a young man came out of the garret
in which he lodged in S. Place and walked slowly, as though in hesitation, towards
K. bridge.

He had successfully avoided meeting his landlady on the staircase. His garret
was under the roof of a high, five-storied house and was more like a cupboard
than a room. The landlady who provided him with garret, dinners, and
attendance, lived on the floor below, and every time he went out he was obliged to
pass her kitchen, the door of which invariably stood open. And each time he
passed, the young man had a sick, frightened feeling, which made him scowl and
feel ashamed. He was hopelessly in debt to his landlady, and was afraid of meeting
her.

This was not because he was cowardly and abject, quite the contrary; but for
some time past he had been in an overstrained irritable condition, verging on
hypochondria. He had become so completely absorbed in himself, and isolated
from his fellows that he dreaded meeting, not only his landlady, but anyone at all.
He was crushed by poverty, but the anxieties of his position had of late ceased to
weigh upon him. He had given up attending to matters of practical importance; he
had lost all desire to do so. Nothing that any landlady could do had a real terror
for him. But to be stopped on the stairs, to be forced to listen to her trivial,
irrelevant gossip, to pestering demands for payment, threats and complaints, and
to rack his brains for excuses, to prevaricate, to lie — no, rather than that, he
would creep down the stairs like a cat and slip out unseen.

This evening, however, on coming out into the street, he became acutely
aware of his fears.
“I want to attempt a thing like that and am frightened by these trifles,” he
thought, with an odd smile. “Hm . . . yes, all is in a man’s hands and he lets it all
slip from cowardice, that’s an axiom. It would be interesting to know what it is
men are most afraid of. Taking a new step, uttering a new word is what they fear
most. . . . But I am talking too much. It’s because I chatter that I do nothing. Or
perhaps it is that I chatter because I do nothing. I’ve learned to chatter this last
month, lying for days together in my den thinking . . . of Jack the Giant-killer.
Why am I going there now? Am I capable of that? Is that serious? It is not serious
at all. It’s simply a fantasy to amuse myself; a plaything! Yes, maybe it is a
plaything.”
The heat in the street was terrible: and the airlessness, the bustle and the
plaster, scaffolding, bricks, and dust all about him, and that special Petersburg
stench, so familiar to all who are unable to get out of town in summer — all
worked painfully upon the young man’s already overwrought nerves. The
insufferable stench from the pot-houses, which are particularly numerous in that
part of the town, and the drunken men whom he met continually, although it was
a working day, completed the revolting misery of the picture. An expression of the
profoundest disgust gleamed for a moment in the young man’s refined face. He
was, by the way, exceptionally handsome, above the average in height, slim, well-
built, with beautiful dark eyes and dark brown hair. Soon he sank into deep
thought, or more accurately speaking into a complete blankness of mind; he
walked along not observing what was about him and not caring to observe it. From
time to time, he would mutter something, from the habit of talking to himself, to
which he had just confessed. At these moments he would become conscious that
his ideas were sometimes in a tangle and that he was very weak; for two days he
had scarcely tasted food.

He was so badly dressed that even a man accustomed to shabbiness would

have been ashamed to be seen in the street in such rags. In that quarter of the
town, however, scarcely any shortcoming in dress would have created surprise.
Owing to the proximity of the Hay Market, the number of establishments of bad
character, the preponderance of the trading and working class population
crowded in these streets and alleys in the heart of Petersburg, types so various
were to be seen in the streets that no figure, however queer, would have caused
surprise. But there was such accumulated bitterness and contempt in the young
man’s heart, that, in spite of all the fastidiousness of youth, he minded his rags
least of all in the street. It was a different matter when he met with acquaintances
or with former fellow students, whom, indeed, he disliked meeting at any time.
And yet when a drunken man who, for some unknown reason, was being taken
somewhere in a huge waggon dragged by a heavy dray horse, suddenly shouted at
him as he drove past: “Hey there, German hatter” bawling at the top of his voice
and pointing at him — the young man stopped suddenly and clutched tremulously
at his hat. It was a tall round hat from Zimmerman’s, but completely worn out,
rusty with age, all torn and bespattered, brimless and bent on one side in a most
unseemly fashion. Not shame, however, but quite another feeling akin to terror
had overtaken him.

“I knew it,” he muttered in confusion, “I thought so! That’s the worst of all!
Why, a stupid thing like this, the most trivial detail might spoil the whole plan.
Yes, my hat is too noticeable. . . . It looks absurd and that makes it noticeable. . . .
With my rags I ought to wear a cap, any sort of old pancake, but not this grotesque
thing. Nobody wears such a hat, it would be noticed a mile off, it would be
remembered. . . . What matters is that people would remember it, and that would
give them a clue. For this business one should be as little conspicuous as possible.
. . . Trifles, trifles are what matter! Why, it’s just such trifles that always ruin
everything . . .”

He had not far to go; he knew indeed how many steps it was from the gate of
his lodging house: exactly seven hundred and thirty. He had counted them once
when he had been lost in dreams. At the time he had put no faith in those dreams
and was only tantalising himself by their hideous but daring recklessness. Now, a
month later, he had begun to look upon them differently, and, in spite of the
monologues in which he jeered at his own impotence and indecision, he had
involuntarily come to regard this “hideous” dream as an exploit to be attempted,
although he still did not realise this himself. He was positively going now for a
“rehearsal” of his project, and at every step his excitement grew more and more
violent.

With a sinking heart and a nervous tremor, he went up to a huge house which
on one side looked on to the canal, and on the other into the street. This house was
let out in tiny tenements and was inhabited by working people of all kinds —
tailors, locksmiths, cooks, Germans of sorts, girls picking up a living as best they
could, petty clerks, etc. There was a continual coming and going through the two
gates and in the two courtyards of the house. Three or four door-keepers were
employed on the building. The young man was very glad to meet none of them,
and at once slipped unnoticed through the door on the right, and up the staircase.
It was a back staircase, dark and narrow, but he was familiar with it already, and
knew his way, and he liked all these surroundings: in such darkness even the most
inquisitive eyes were not to be dreaded.
“If I am so scared now, what would it be if it somehow came to pass that I
were really going to do it?” he could not help asking himself as he reached the
fourth storey. There his progress was barred by some porters who were engaged in
moving furniture out of a flat. He knew that the flat had been occupied by a
German clerk in the civil service, and his family. This German was moving out
then, and so the fourth floor on this staircase would be untenanted except by the
old woman. “That’s a good thing anyway,” he thought to himself, as he rang the
bell of the old woman’s flat. The bell gave a faint tinkle as though it were made of
tin and not of copper. The little flats in such houses always have bells that ring like
that. He had forgotten the note of that bell, and now its peculiar tinkle seemed to
remind him of something and to bring it clearly before him. . . . He started, his
nerves were terribly overstrained by now. In a little while, the door was opened a
tiny crack: the old woman eyed her visitor with evident distrust through the crack,
and nothing could be seen but her little eyes, glittering in the darkness. But, seeing
a number of people on the landing, she grew bolder, and opened the door wide.
The young man stepped into the dark entry, which was partitioned off from the
tiny kitchen. The old woman stood facing him in silence and looking inquiringly at
him. She was a diminutive, withered up old woman of sixty, with sharp malignant
eyes and a sharp little nose. Her colourless, somewhat grizzled hair was thickly
smeared with oil, and she wore no kerchief over it. Round her thin long neck,
which looked like a hen’s leg, was knotted some sort of flannel rag, and, in spite of
the heat, there hung flapping on her shoulders, a mangy fur cape, yellow with age.
The old woman coughed and groaned at every instant. The young man must have
looked at her with a rather peculiar expression, for a gleam of mistrust came into
her eyes again.
“Raskolnikov, a student, I came here a month ago,” the young man made
haste to mutter, with a half bow, remembering that he ought to be more polite.

“I remember, my good sir, I remember quite well your coming here,” the old
woman said distinctly, still keeping her inquiring eyes on his face.

“And here . . . I am again on the same errand,” Raskolnikov continued, a little

disconcerted and surprised at the old woman’s mistrust. “Perhaps she is always
like that though, only I did not notice it the other time,” he thought with an uneasy
feeling. Tbc
 The old woman paused, as though hesitating; then stepped on one side, and
pointing to the door of the room, she said, letting her visitor pass in front of her:

“Step in, my good sir.”

The little room into which the young man walked, with yellow paper on the
walls, geraniums and muslin curtains in the windows, was brightly lighted up at
that moment by the setting sun.
“So the sun will shine like this then too!” flashed as it were by chance through
Raskolnikov’s mind, and with a rapid glance he scanned everything in the room,
trying as far as possible to notice and remember its arrangement. But there was
nothing special in the room. The furniture, all very old and of yellow wood,
consisted of a sofa with a huge bent wooden back, an oval table in front of the sofa,
a dressing-table with a looking-glass fixed on it between the windows, chairs along
the walls and two or three half-penny prints in yellow frames, representing
German damsels with birds in their hands — that was all. In the corner a light was
burning before a small ikon. Everything was very clean; the floor and the furniture
were brightly polished; everything shone.

“Lizaveta’s work,” thought the young man. There was not a speck of dust to be
seen in the whole flat.
“It’s in the houses of spiteful old widows that one finds such cleanliness,”
Raskolnikov thought again, and he stole a curious glance at the cotton curtain over
the door leading into another tiny room, in which stood the old woman’s bed and
chest of drawers and into which he had never looked before. These two rooms
made up the whole flat.
“What do you want?” the old woman said severely, coming into the room and,
as before, standing in front of him so as to look him straight in the face.

“I’ve brought something to pawn here,” and he drew out of his pocket an old-
fashioned flat silver watch, on the back of which was engraved a globe; the chain
was of steel.
“But the time is up for your last pledge. The month was up the day before
yesterday.”
“I will bring you the interest for another month; wait a little.”
“But that’s for me to do as I please, my good sir, to wait or to sell your pledge
at once.”
“How much will you give me for the watch, Alyona Ivanovna?”

“You come with such trifles, my good sir, it’s scarcely worth anything. I gave
you two roubles last time for your ring and one could buy it quite new at a
jeweler’s for a rouble and a half.”
“Give me four roubles for it, I shall redeem it, it was my father’s. I shall be
getting some money soon.”
“A rouble and a half, and interest in advance, if you like!”
“A rouble and a half!” cried the young man.
“Please yourself”— and the old woman handed him back the watch. The
young man took it, and was so angry that he was on the point of going away; but
checked himself at once, remembering that there was nowhere else he could go,
and that he had had another object also in coming.
“Hand it over,” he said roughly.

The old woman fumbled in her pocket for her keys, and disappeared behind
the curtain into the other room. The young man, left standing alone in the middle
of the room, listened inquisitively, thinking. He could hear her unlocking the chest
of drawers.

“It must be the top drawer,” he reflected. “So she carries the keys in a pocket
on the right. All in one bunch on a steel ring. . . . And there’s one key there, three
times as big as all the others, with deep notches; that can’t be the key of the chest
of drawers . . . then there must be some other chest or strong-box . . . that’s worth
knowing. Strong-boxes always have keys like that . . . but how degrading it all is.”

The old woman came back.

“Here, sir: as we say ten copecks the rouble a month, so I must take fifteen
copecks from a rouble and a half for the month in advance. But for the two roubles
I lent you before, you owe me now twenty copecks on the same reckoning in
advance. That makes thirty-five copecks altogether. So I must give you a rouble
and fifteen copecks for the watch. Here it is.”

“What! only a rouble and fifteen copecks now!”

“Just so.”
 The young man did not dispute it and took the money. He looked at the old
woman, and was in no hurry to get away, as though there was still something he
wanted to say or to do, but he did not himself quite know what.

“I may be bringing you something else in a day or two, Alyona Ivanovna — a

valuable thing — silver — a cigarette-box, as soon as I get it back from a friend …”
he broke off in confusion.

“Well, we will talk about it then, sir.”

“Good-bye — are you always at home alone, your sister is not here with you?”
He asked her as casually as possible as he went out into the passage.

“What business is she of yours, my good sir?”

“Oh, nothing particular, I simply asked. You are too quick. . . . Good-day,
Alyona Ivanovna.”
Raskolnikov went out in complete confusion. This confusion became more
and more intense. As he went down the stairs, he even stopped short, two or three
times, as though suddenly struck by some thought. When he was in the street he
cried out, “Oh, God, how loathsome it all is! and can I, can I possibly. . . . No, it’s
nonsense, it’s rubbish!” he added resolutely. “And how could such an atrocious
thing come into my head? What filthy things my heart is capable of. Yes, filthy
above all, disgusting, loathsome, loathsome! — and for a whole month I’ve been
. . . .” But no words, no exclamations, could express his agitation. The feeling of
intense repulsion, which had begun to oppress and torture his heart while he was
on his way to the old woman, had by now reached such a pitch and had taken such
a definite form that he did not know what to do with himself to escape from his
wretchedness. He walked along the pavement like a drunken man, regardless of
the passers-by, and jostling against them, and only came to his senses when he
was in the next street. Looking round, he noticed that he was standing close to a
tavern which was entered by steps leading from the pavement to the basement. At
that instant two drunken men came out at the door, and abusing and supporting
one another, they mounted the steps. Without stopping to think, Raskolnikov
went down the steps at once. Till that moment he had never been into a tavern,
but now he felt giddy and was tormented by a burning thirst. He longed for a drink
of cold beer, and attributed his sudden weakness to the want of food. He sat down
at a sticky little table in a dark and dirty corner; ordered some beer, and eagerly
drank off the first glassful. At once he felt easier; and his thoughts became clear.

“All that’s nonsense,” he said hopefully, “and there is nothing in it all to worry
about! It’s simply physical derangement. Just a glass of beer, a piece of dry bread
— and in one moment the brain is stronger, the mind is clearer and the will is
firm! Phew, how utterly petty it all is!”

But in spite of this scornful reflection, he was by now looking cheerful as

though he were suddenly set free from a terrible burden: and he gazed round in a
friendly way at the people in the room. But even at that moment he had a dim
foreboding that this happier frame of mind was also not normal.

There were few people at the time in the tavern. Besides the two drunken men
he had met on the steps, a group consisting of about five men and a girl with a
concertina had gone out at the same time. Their departure left the room quiet and
rather empty. The persons still in the tavern were a man who appeared to be an
artisan, drunk, but not extremely so, sitting before a pot of beer, and his
companion, a huge, stout man with a grey beard, in a short full-skirted coat. He
was very drunk: and had dropped asleep on the bench; every now and then, he
began as though in his sleep, cracking his fingers, with his arms wide apart and
the upper part of his body bounding about on the bench, while he hummed some
meaningless refrain, trying to recall some such lines as these:
“His wife a year he fondly loved
His wife a — a year he — fondly loved.”

Or suddenly waking up again:

“Walking along the crowded row
He met the one he used to know.”

But no one shared his enjoyment: his silent companion looked with positive
hostility and mistrust at all these manifestations. There was another man in the
room who looked somewhat like a retired government clerk. He was sitting apart,
now and then sipping from his pot and looking round at the company. He, too,
appeared to be in some agitation.
 CHAPTER II

Raskolnikov was not used to crowds, and, as we said before, he avoided society of
every sort, more especially of late. But now all at once he felt a desire to be with
other people. Something new seemed to be taking place within him, and with it he
felt a sort of thirst for company. He was so weary after a whole month of
concentrated wretchedness and gloomy excitement that he longed to rest, if only
for a moment, in some other world, whatever it might be; and, in spite of the
filthiness of the surroundings, he was glad now to stay in the tavern.
The master of the establishment was in another room, but he frequently came
down some steps into the main room, his jaunty, tarred boots with red turn-over
tops coming into view each time before the rest of his person. He wore a full coat
and a horribly greasy black satin waistcoat, with no cravat, and his whole face
seemed smeared with oil like an iron lock. At the counter stood a boy of about
fourteen, and there was another boy somewhat younger who handed whatever was
wanted. On the counter lay some sliced cucumber, some pieces of dried black
bread, and some fish, chopped up small, all smelling very bad. It was insufferably
close, and so heavy with the fumes of spirits that five minutes in such an
atmosphere might well make a man drunk.

There are chance meetings with strangers that interest us from the first
moment, before a word is spoken. Such was the impression made on Raskolnikov
by the person sitting a little distance from him, who looked like a retired clerk. The
young man often recalled this impression afterwards, and even ascribed it to
presentiment. He looked repeatedly at the clerk, partly no doubt because the latter
was staring persistently at him, obviously anxious to enter into conversation. At
the other persons in the room, including the tavern-keeper, the clerk looked as
though he were used to their company, and weary of it, showing a shade of
condescending contempt for them as persons of station and culture inferior to his
own, with whom it would be useless for him to converse. He was a man over fifty,
bald and grizzled, of medium height, and stoutly built. His face, bloated from
continual drinking, was of a yellow, even greenish, tinge, with swollen eyelids out
of which keen reddish eyes gleamed like little chinks. But there was something
very strange in him; there was a light in his eyes as though of intense feeling —
perhaps there were even thought and intelligence, but at the same time there was
a gleam of something like madness. He was wearing an old and hopelessly ragged
black dress coat, with all its buttons missing except one, and that one he had
buttoned, evidently clinging to this last trace of respectability. A crumpled shirt
front, covered with spots and stains, protruded from his canvas waistcoat. Like a
clerk, he wore no beard, nor moustache, but had been so long unshaven that his
chin looked like a stiff greyish brush. And there was something respectable and
like an official about his manner too. But he was restless; he ruffled up his hair
and from time to time let his head drop into his hands dejectedly resting his
ragged elbows on the stained and sticky table. At last he looked straight at
Raskolnikov, and said loudly and resolutely:

“May I venture, honoured sir, to engage you in polite conversation?

Forasmuch as, though your exterior would not command respect, my experience
admonishes me that you are a man of education and not accustomed to drinking. I
have always respected education when in conjunction with genuine sentiments,
and I am besides a titular counsellor in rank. Marmeladov — such is my name;
titular counsellor. I make bold to inquire — have you been in the service?”

“No, I am studying,” answered the young man, somewhat surprised at the

grandiloquent style of the speaker and also at being so directly addressed. In spite
of the momentary desire he had just been feeling for company of any sort, on
being actually spoken to he felt immediately his habitual irritable and uneasy
aversion for any stranger who approached or attempted to approach him.

“A student then, or formerly a student,” cried the clerk. “Just what I thought!
I’m a man of experience, immense experience, sir,” and he tapped his forehead
with his fingers in self-approval. “You’ve been a student or have attended some
learned institution! . . . But allow me . . . .” He got up, staggered, took up his jug
and glass, and sat down beside the young man, facing him a little sideways. He
was drunk, but spoke fluently and boldly, only occasionally losing the thread of his
sentences and drawling his words. He pounced upon Raskolnikov as greedily as
though he too had not spoken to a soul for a month.

“Honoured sir,” he began almost with solemnity, “poverty is not a vice, that’s
a true saying. Yet I know too that drunkenness is not a virtue, and that that’s even
truer. But beggary, honoured sir, beggary is a vice. In poverty you may still retain
your innate nobility of soul, but in beggary — never — no one. For beggary a man
is not chased out of human society with a stick, he is swept out with a broom, so as
to make it as humiliating as possible; and quite right, too, forasmuch as in beggary
I am ready to be the first to humiliate myself. Hence the pot-house! Honoured sir,
a month ago Mr. Lebeziatnikov gave my wife a beating, and my wife is a very
different matter from me! Do you understand? Allow me to ask you another
question out of simple curiosity: have you ever spent a night on a hay barge, on the
Neva?”

“No, I have not happened to,” answered Raskolnikov. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ve just come from one and it’s the fifth night I’ve slept so . . . .” He
filled his glass, emptied it and paused. Bits of hay were in fact clinging to his
clothes and sticking to his hair. It seemed quite probable that he had not
undressed or washed for the last five days. His hands, particularly, were filthy.
They were fat and red, with black nails.

His conversation seemed to excite a general though languid interest. The boys
at the counter fell to sniggering. The innkeeper came down from the upper room,
apparently on purpose to listen to the “funny fellow” and sat down at a little
distance, yawning lazily, but with dignity. Evidently Marmeladov was a familiar
figure here, and he had most likely acquired his weakness for high-flown speeches
from the habit of frequently entering into conversation with strangers of all sorts
in the tavern. This habit develops into a necessity in some drunkards, and
especially in those who are looked after sharply and kept in order at home. Hence
in the company of other drinkers they try to justify themselves and even if possible
obtain consideration.
“Funny fellow!” pronounced the innkeeper. “And why don’t you work, why
aren’t you at your duty, if you are in the service?”
“Why am I not at my duty, honoured sir,” Marmeladov went on, addressing
himself exclusively to Raskolnikov, as though it had been he who put that question
to him. “Why am I not at my duty? Does not my heart ache to think what a useless
worm I am? A month ago when Mr. Lebeziatnikov beat my wife with his own
hands, and I lay drunk, didn’t I suffer? Excuse me, young man, has it ever
happened to you . . . hm . . . well, to petition hopelessly for a loan?”
“Yes, it has. But what do you mean by hopelessly?”

“Hopelessly in the fullest sense, when you know beforehand that you will get
nothing by it. You know, for instance, beforehand with positive certainty that this
man, this most reputable and exemplary citizen, will on no consideration give you
money; and indeed I ask you why should he? For he knows of course that I shan’t
pay it back. From compassion? But Mr. Lebeziatnikov who keeps up with modern
ideas explained the other day that compassion is forbidden nowadays by science
itself, and that that’s what is done now in England, where there is political
economy. Why, I ask you, should he give it to me? And yet though I know
beforehand that he won’t, I set off to him and …”
“Why do you go?” put in Raskolnikov.

“Well, when one has no one, nowhere else one can go! For every man must
have somewhere to go. Since there are times when one absolutely must go
somewhere! When my own daughter first went out with a yellow ticket, then I had
to go . . . (for my daughter has a yellow passport),” he added in parenthesis,
looking with a certain uneasiness at the young man. “No matter, sir, no matter!”
he went on hurriedly and with apparent composure when both the boys at the
counter guffawed and even the innkeeper smiled —“No matter, I am not
confounded by the wagging of their heads; for everyone knows everything about it
already, and all that is secret is made open. And I accept it all, not with contempt,
but with humility. So be it! So be it! ‘Behold the man!’ Excuse me, young man, can
you. . . . No, to put it more strongly and more distinctly; not can you but dare you,
looking upon me, assert that I am not a pig?”

The young man did not answer a word.

“Well,” the orator began again stolidly and with even increased dignity, after
waiting for the laughter in the room to subside. “Well, so be it, I am a pig, but she
is a lady! I have the semblance of a beast, but Katerina Ivanovna, my spouse, is a
person of education and an officer’s daughter. Granted, granted, I am a scoundrel,
but she is a woman of a noble heart, full of sentiments, refined by education. And
yet . . . oh, if only she felt for me! Honoured sir, honoured sir, you know every man
ought to have at least one place where people feel for him! But Katerina Ivanovna,
though she is magnanimous, she is unjust. . . . And yet, although I realise that
when she pulls my hair she only does it out of pity — for I repeat without being
ashamed, she pulls my hair, young man,” he declared with redoubled dignity,
hearing the sniggering again —“but, my God, if she would but once. . . . But no, no!
It’s all in vain and it’s no use talking! No use talking! For more than once, my wish
did come true and more than once she has felt for me but . . . such is my fate and I
am a beast by nature!”
“Rather!” assented the innkeeper yawning. Marmeladov struck his fist
resolutely on the table.
“Such is my fate! Do you know, sir, do you know, I have sold her very
stockings for drink? Not her shoes — that would be more or less in the order of
things, but her stockings, her stockings I have sold for drink! Her mohair shawl I
sold for drink, a present to her long ago, her own property, not mine; and we live
in a cold room and she caught cold this winter and has begun coughing and
spitting blood too. We have three little children and Katerina Ivanovna is at work
from morning till night; she is scrubbing and cleaning and washing the children,
for she’s been used to cleanliness from a child. But her chest is weak and she has a
tendency to consumption and I feel it! Do you suppose I don’t feel it? And the
more I drink the more I feel it. That’s why I drink too. I try to find sympathy and
feeling in drink. . . . I drink so that I may suffer twice as much!” And as though in
despair he laid his head down on the table.
“Young man,” he went on, raising his head again, “in your face I seem to read
some trouble of mind. When you came in I read it, and that was why I addressed
you at once. For in unfolding to you the story of my life, I do not wish to make
myself a laughing-stock before these idle listeners, who indeed know all about it
already, but I am looking for a man of feeling and education. Know then that my
wife was educated in a high-class school for the daughters of noblemen, and on
leaving she danced the shawl dance before the governor and other personages for
which she was presented with a gold medal and a certificate of merit. The medal
. . . well, the medal of course was sold — long ago, hm . . . but the certificate of
merit is in her trunk still and not long ago she showed it to our landlady. And
although she is most continually on bad terms with the landlady, yet she wanted
to tell someone or other of her past honours and of the happy days that are gone. I
don’t condemn her for it, I don’t blame her, for the one thing left her is
recollection of the past, and all the rest is dust and ashes. Yes, yes, she is a lady of
spirit, proud and determined. She scrubs the floors herself and has nothing but
black bread to eat, but won’t allow herself to be treated with disrespect. That’s why
she would not overlook Mr. Lebeziatnikov’s rudeness to her, and so when he gave
her a beating for it, she took to her bed more from the hurt to her feelings than
from the blows. She was a widow when I married her, with three children, one
smaller than the other. She married her first husband, an infantry officer, for love,
and ran away with him from her father’s house. She was exceedingly fond of her
husband; but he gave way to cards, got into trouble and with that he died. He used
to beat her at the end: and although she paid him back, of which I have authentic
documentary evidence, to this day she speaks of him with tears and she throws
him up to me; and I am glad, I am glad that, though only in imagination, she
should think of herself as having once been happy. . . . And she was left at his
death with three children in a wild and remote district where I happened to be at
the time; and she was left in such hopeless poverty that, although I have seen
many ups and downs of all sort, I don’t feel equal to describing it even. Her
relations had all thrown her off. And she was proud, too, excessively proud. . . .
And then, honoured sir, and then, I, being at the time a widower, with a daughter
of fourteen left me by my first wife, offered her my hand, for I could not bear the
sight of such suffering. You can judge the extremity of her calamities, that she, a
woman of education and culture and distinguished family, should have consented
to be my wife. But she did! Weeping and sobbing and wringing her hands, she
married me! For she had nowhere to turn! Do you understand, sir, do you
understand what it means when you have absolutely nowhere to turn? No, that
you don’t understand yet. . . . And for a whole year, I performed my duties
conscientiously and faithfully, and did not touch this” (he tapped the jug with his
finger), “for I have feelings. But even so, I could not please her; and then I lost my
place too, and that through no fault of mine but through changes in the office; and
then I did touch it! . . . It will be a year and a half ago soon since we found
ourselves at last after many wanderings and numerous calamities in this
magnificent capital, adorned with innumerable monuments. Here I obtained a
situation. . . . I obtained it and I lost it again. Do you understand? This time it was
through my own fault I lost it: for my weakness had come out. . . . We have now
part of a room at Amalia Fyodorovna Lippevechsel’s; and what we live upon and
what we pay our rent with, I could not say. There are a lot of people living there
besides ourselves. Dirt and disorder, a perfect Bedlam . . . hm . . . yes . . . And
meanwhile my daughter by my first wife has grown up; and what my daughter has
had to put up with from her step-mother whilst she was growing up, I won’t speak
of. For, though Katerina Ivanovna is full of generous feelings, she is a spirited
lady, irritable and short — tempered. . . . Yes. But it’s no use going over that!
Sonia, as you may well fancy, has had no education. I did make an effort four years
ago to give her a course of geography and universal history, but as I was not very
well up in those subjects myself and we had no suitable books, and what books we
had . . . hm, anyway we have not even those now, so all our instruction came to an
end. We stopped at Cyrus of Persia. Since she has attained years of maturity, she
has read other books of romantic tendency and of late she had read with great
interest a book she got through Mr. Lebeziatnikov, Lewes’ Physiology — do you
know it? — and even recounted extracts from it to us: and that’s the whole of her
education. And now may I venture to address you, honoured sir, on my own
account with a private question. Do you suppose that a respectable poor girl can
earn much by honest work? Not fifteen farthings a day can she earn, if she is
respectable and has no special talent and that without putting her work down for
an instant! And what’s more, Ivan Ivanitch Klopstock the civil counsellor — have
you heard of him? — has not to this day paid her for the half-dozen linen shirts she
made him and drove her roughly away, stamping and reviling her, on the pretext
that the shirt collars were not made like the pattern and were put in askew. And
there are the little ones hungry. . . . And Katerina Ivanovna walking up and down
and wringing her hands, her cheeks flushed red, as they always are in that disease:
‘Here you live with us,’ says she, ‘you eat and drink and are kept warm and you do
nothing to help.’ And much she gets to eat and drink when there is not a crust for
the little ones for three days! I was lying at the time . . . well, what of it! I was lying
drunk and I heard my Sonia speaking (she is a gentle creature with a soft little
voice . . . fair hair and such a pale, thin little face). She said: ‘Katerina Ivanovna,
am I really to do a thing like that?’ And Darya Frantsovna, a woman of evil
character and very well known to the police, had two or three times tried to get at
her through the landlady. ‘And why not?’ said Katerina Ivanovna with a jeer, ‘you
are something mighty precious to be so careful of!’ But don’t blame her, don’t
blame her, honoured sir, don’t blame her! She was not herself when she spoke, but
driven to distraction by her illness and the crying of the hungry children; and it
was said more to wound her than anything else. . . . For that’s Katerina Ivanovna’s
character, and when children cry, even from hunger, she falls to beating them at
once. At six o’clock I saw Sonia get up, put on her kerchief and her cape, and go
out of the room and about nine o’clock she came back. She walked straight up to
Katerina Ivanovna and she laid thirty roubles on the table before her in silence.
She did not utter a word, she did not even look at her, she simply picked up our
big green drap de dames shawl (we have a shawl, made of drap de dames), put it
over her head and face and lay down on the bed with her face to the wall; only her
little shoulders and her body kept shuddering. . . . And I went on lying there, just
as before. . . . And then I saw, young man, I saw Katerina Ivanovna, in the same
silence go up to Sonia’s little bed; she was on her knees all the evening kissing
Sonia’s feet, and would not get up, and then they both fell asleep in each other’s
arms . . . together, together . . . yes . . . and I . . . lay drunk.”

Marmeladov stopped short, as though his voice had failed him. Then he
hurriedly filled his glass, drank, and cleared his throat.

“Since then, sir,” he went on after a brief pause —“Since then, owing to an
unfortunate occurrence and through information given by evil-intentioned
persons — in all which Darya Frantsovna took a leading part on the pretext that
she had been treated with want of respect — since then my daughter Sofya
Semyonovna has been forced to take a yellow ticket, and owing to that she is
unable to go on living with us. For our landlady, Amalia Fyodorovna would not
hear of it (though she had backed up Darya Frantsovna before) and Mr.
Lebeziatnikov too . . . hm. . . . All the trouble between him and Katerina Ivanovna
was on Sonia’s account. At first he was for making up to Sonia himself and then all
of a sudden he stood on his dignity: ‘how,’ said he, ‘can a highly educated man like
me live in the same rooms with a girl like that?’ And Katerina Ivanovna would not
let it pass, she stood up for her . . . and so that’s how it happened. And Sonia
comes to us now, mostly after dark; she comforts Katerina Ivanovna and gives her
all she can. . . . She has a room at the Kapernaumovs’ the tailors, she lodges with
them; Kapernaumov is a lame man with a cleft palate and all of his numerous
family have cleft palates too. And his wife, too, has a cleft palate. They all live in
one room, but Sonia has her own, partitioned off. . . . Hm . . . yes . . . very poor
people and all with cleft palates . . . yes. Then I got up in the morning, and put on
my rags, lifted up my hands to heaven and set off to his excellency Ivan
Afanasyvitch. His excellency Ivan Afanasyvitch, do you know him? No? Well, then,
it’s a man of God you don’t know. He is wax . . . wax before the face of the Lord;
even as wax melteth! . . . His eyes were dim when he heard my story.
‘Marmeladov, once already you have deceived my expectations . . . I’ll take you
once more on my own responsibility’— that’s what he said, ‘remember,’ he said,
‘and now you can go.’ I kissed the dust at his feet — in thought only, for in reality
he would not have allowed me to do it, being a statesman and a man of modern
political and enlightened ideas. I returned home, and when I announced that I’d
been taken back into the service and should receive a salary, heavens, what a to-do
there was …!”

Marmeladov stopped again in violent excitement. At that moment a whole

party of revellers already drunk came in from the street, and the sounds of a hired
concertina and the cracked piping voice of a child of seven singing “The Hamlet”
were heard in the entry. The room was filled with noise. The tavern-keeper and
the boys were busy with the new-comers. Marmeladov paying no attention to the
new arrivals continued his story. He appeared by now to be extremely weak, but as
he became more and more drunk, he became more and more talkative. The
recollection of his recent success in getting the situation seemed to revive him, and
was positively reflected in a sort of radiance on his face. Raskolnikov listened
attentively.

“That was five weeks ago, sir. Yes. . . . As soon as Katerina Ivanovna and Sonia
heard of it, mercy on us, it was as though I stepped into the kingdom of Heaven. It
used to be: you can lie like a beast, nothing but abuse. Now they were walking on
tiptoe, hushing the children. ‘Semyon Zaharovitch is tired with his work at the
office, he is resting, shh!’ They made me coffee before I went to work and boiled
cream for me! They began to get real cream for me, do you hear that? And how
they managed to get together the money for a decent outfit — eleven roubles, fifty
copecks, I can’t guess. Boots, cotton shirt-fronts — most magnificent, a uniform,
they got up all in splendid style, for eleven roubles and a half. The first morning I
came back from the office I found Katerina Ivanovna had cooked two courses for
dinner — soup and salt meat with horse radish — which we had never dreamed of
till then. She had not any dresses . . . none at all, but she got herself up as though
she were going on a visit; and not that she’d anything to do it with, she smartened
herself up with nothing at all, she’d done her hair nicely, put on a clean collar of
some sort, cuffs, and there she was, quite a different person, she was younger and
better looking. Sonia, my little darling, had only helped with money ‘for the time,’
she said, ‘it won’t do for me to come and see you too often. After dark maybe when
no one can see.’ Do you hear, do you hear? I lay down for a nap after dinner and
what do you think: though Katerina Ivanovna had quarrelled to the last degree
with our landlady Amalia Fyodorovna only a week before, she could not resist then
asking her in to coffee. For two hours they were sitting, whispering together.
‘Semyon Zaharovitch is in the service again, now, and receiving a salary,’ says she,
‘and he went himself to his excellency and his excellency himself came out to him,
made all the others wait and led Semyon Zaharovitch by the hand before
everybody into his study.’ Do you hear, do you hear? ‘To be sure,’ says he, ‘Semyon
Zaharovitch, remembering your past services,’ says he, ‘and in spite of your
propensity to that foolish weakness, since you promise now and since moreover
we’ve got on badly without you,’ (do you hear, do you hear;) ‘and so,’ says he, ‘I
rely now on your word as a gentleman.’ And all that, let me tell you, she has simply
made up for herself, and not simply out of wantonness, for the sake of bragging;
no, she believes it all herself, she amuses herself with her own fancies, upon my
word she does! And I don’t blame her for it, no, I don’t blame her! . . . Six days ago
when I brought her my first earnings in full — twenty-three roubles forty copecks
altogether — she called me her poppet: ‘poppet,’ said she, ‘my little poppet.’ And
when we were by ourselves, you understand? You would not think me a beauty,
you would not think much of me as a husband, would you? . . . Well, she pinched
my cheek, ‘my little poppet,’ said she.”

Marmeladov broke off, tried to smile, but suddenly his chin began to twitch.
He controlled himself however. The tavern, the degraded appearance of the man,
the five nights in the hay barge, and the pot of spirits, and yet this poignant love
for his wife and children bewildered his listener. Raskolnikov listened intently but
with a sick sensation. He felt vexed that he had come here.

“Honoured sir, honoured sir,” cried Marmeladov recovering himself — “Oh,

sir, perhaps all this seems a laughing matter to you, as it does to others, and
perhaps I am only worrying you with the stupidity of all the trivial details of my
home life, but it is not a laughing matter to me. For I can feel it all. . . . And the
whole of that heavenly day of my life and the whole of that evening I passed in
fleeting dreams of how I would arrange it all, and how I would dress all the
children, and how I should give her rest, and how I should rescue my own
daughter from dishonour and restore her to the bosom of her family. . . . And a
great deal more. . . . Quite excusable, sir. Well, then, sir” (Marmeladov suddenly
gave a sort of start, raised his head and gazed intently at his listener) “well, on the
very next day after all those dreams, that is to say, exactly five days ago, in the
evening, by a cunning trick, like a thief in the night, I stole from Katerina
Ivanovna the key of her box, took out what was left of my earnings, how much it
was I have forgotten, and now look at me, all of you! It’s the fifth day since I left
home, and they are looking for me there and it’s the end of my employment, and
my uniform is lying in a tavern on the Egyptian bridge. I exchanged it for the
garments I have on . . . and it’s the end of everything!”

Marmeladov struck his forehead with his fist, clenched his teeth, closed his
eyes and leaned heavily with his elbow on the table. But a minute later his face
suddenly changed and with a certain assumed slyness and affectation of bravado,
he glanced at Raskolnikov, laughed and said:

“This morning I went to see Sonia, I went to ask her for a pick-me-up! He-he-
he!”

“You don’t say she gave it to you?” cried one of the new-comers; he shouted
the words and went off into a guffaw.
“This very quart was bought with her money,” Marmeladov declared,
addressing himself exclusively to Raskolnikov. “Thirty copecks she gave me with
her own hands, her last, all she had, as I saw. . . . She said nothing, she only looked
at me without a word. . . . Not on earth, but up yonder . . . they grieve over men,
they weep, but they don’t blame them, they don’t blame them! But it hurts more, it
hurts more when they don’t blame! Thirty copecks yes! And maybe she needs
them now, eh? What do you think, my dear sir? For now she’s got to keep up her
appearance. It costs money, that smartness, that special smartness, you know? Do
you understand? And there’s pomatum, too, you see, she must have things;
petticoats, starched ones, shoes, too, real jaunty ones to show off her foot when
she has to step over a puddle. Do you understand, sir, do you understand what all
that smartness means? And here I, her own father, here I took thirty copecks of
that money for a drink! And I am drinking it! And I have already drunk it! Come,
who will have pity on a man like me, eh? Are you sorry for me, sir, or not? Tell me,
sir, are you sorry or not? He-he-he!”

He would have filled his glass, but there was no drink left. The pot was empty.

“What are you to be pitied for?” shouted the tavern-keeper who was again
near them.

Shouts of laughter and even oaths followed. The laughter and the oaths came
from those who were listening and also from those who had heard nothing but
were simply looking at the figure of the discharged government clerk.

“To be pitied! Why am I to be pitied?” Marmeladov suddenly declaimed,

standing up with his arm outstretched, as though he had been only waiting for
that question.
 “Why am I to be pitied, you say? Yes! there’s nothing to pity me for! I ought to
be crucified, crucified on a cross, not pitied! Crucify me, oh judge, crucify me but
pity me! And then I will go of myself to be crucified, for it’s not merry-making I
seek but tears and tribulation! . . . Do you suppose, you that sell, that this pint of
yours has been sweet to me? It was tribulation I sought at the bottom of it, tears
and tribulation, and have found it, and I have tasted it; but He will pity us Who
has had pity on all men, Who has understood all men and all things, He is the
One, He too is the judge. He will come in that day and He will ask: ‘Where is the
daughter who gave herself for her cross, consumptive step-mother and for the
little children of another? Where is the daughter who had pity upon the filthy
drunkard, her earthly father, undismayed by his beastliness?’ And He will say,
‘Come to me! I have already forgiven thee once. . . . I have forgiven thee once. . . .
Thy sins which are many are forgiven thee for thou hast loved much . . . .’ And he
will forgive my Sonia, He will forgive, I know it . . . I felt it in my heart when I was
with her just now! And He will judge and will forgive all, the good and the evil, the
wise and the meek. . . . And when He has done with all of them, then He will
summon us. ‘You too come forth,’ He will say, ‘Come forth ye drunkards, come
forth, ye weak ones, come forth, ye children of shame!’ And we shall all come
forth, without shame and shall stand before him. And He will say unto us, ‘Ye are
swine, made in the Image of the Beast and with his mark; but come ye also!’ And
the wise ones and those of understanding will say, ‘Oh Lord, why dost Thou
receive these men?’ And He will say, ‘This is why I receive them, oh ye wise, this is
why I receive them, oh ye of understanding, that not one of them believed himself
to be worthy of this.’ And He will hold out His hands to us and we shall fall down
before him . . . and we shall weep . . . and we shall understand all things! Then we
shall understand all! . . . and all will understand, Katerina Ivanovna even . . . she
will understand. . . . Lord, Thy kingdom come!” And he sank down on the bench
exhausted, and helpless, looking at no one, apparently oblivious of his
surroundings and plunged in deep thought. His words had created a certain
impression; there was a moment of silence; but soon laughter and oaths were
heard again.

“That’s his notion!”

“Talked himself silly!”

“A fine clerk he is!”

 And so on, and so on.

“Let us go, sir,” said Marmeladov all at once, raising his head and addressing
Raskolnikov —“come along with me . . . Kozel’s house, looking into the yard. I’m
going to Katerina Ivanovna — time I did.”
Raskolnikov had for some time been wanting to go and he had meant to help
him. Marmeladov was much unsteadier on his legs than in his speech and leaned
heavily on the young man. They had two or three hundred paces to go. The
drunken man was more and more overcome by dismay and confusion as they
drew nearer the house.

“It’s not Katerina Ivanovna I am afraid of now,” he muttered in agitation

—“and that she will begin pulling my hair. What does my hair matter! Bother my
hair! That’s what I say! Indeed it will be better if she does begin pulling it, that’s
not what I am afraid of . . . it’s her eyes I am afraid of . . . yes, her eyes . . . the red
on her cheeks, too, frightens me . . . and her breathing too. . . . Have you noticed
how people in that disease breathe . . . when they are excited? I am frightened of
the children’s crying, too. . . . For if Sonia has not taken them food . . . I don’t know
what’s happened! I don’t know! But blows I am not afraid of. . . . Know, sir, that
such blows are not a pain to me, but even an enjoyment. In fact I can’t get on
without it. . . . It’s better so. Let her strike me, it relieves her heart . . . it’s better so
. . . There is the house. The house of Kozel, the cabinet-maker . . . a German, well-
to-do. Lead the way!”

They went in from the yard and up to the fourth storey. The staircase got
darker and darker as they went up. It was nearly eleven o’clock and although in
summer in Petersburg there is no real night, yet it was quite dark at the top of the
stairs.

A grimy little door at the very top of the stairs stood ajar. A very poor-looking
room about ten paces long was lighted up by a candle-end; the whole of it was
visible from the entrance. It was all in disorder, littered up with rags of all sorts,
especially children’s garments. Across the furthest corner was stretched a ragged
sheet. Behind it probably was the bed. There was nothing in the room except two
chairs and a sofa covered with American leather, full of holes, before which stood
an old deal kitchen-table, unpainted and uncovered. At the edge of the table stood
a smoldering tallow-candle in an iron candlestick. It appeared that the family had
a room to themselves, not part of a room, but their room was practically a passage.
The door leading to the other rooms, or rather cupboards, into which Amalia
Lippevechsel’s flat was divided stood half open, and there was shouting, uproar
and laughter within. People seemed to be playing cards and drinking tea there.
Words of the most unceremonious kind flew out from time to time.

Raskolnikov recognised Katerina Ivanovna at once. She was a rather tall, slim
and graceful woman, terribly emaciated, with magnificent dark brown hair and
with a hectic flush in her cheeks. She was pacing up and down in her little room,
pressing her hands against her chest; her lips were parched and her breathing
came in nervous broken gasps. Her eyes glittered as in fever and looked about
with a harsh immovable stare. And that consumptive and excited face with the last
flickering light of the candle-end playing upon it made a sickening impression.
She seemed to Raskolnikov about thirty years old and was certainly a strange wife
for Marmeladov. . . . She had not heard them and did not notice them coming in.
She seemed to be lost in thought, hearing and seeing nothing. The room was close,
but she had not opened the window; a stench rose from the staircase, but the door
on to the stairs was not closed. From the inner rooms clouds of tobacco smoke
floated in, she kept coughing, but did not close the door. The youngest child, a girl
of six, was asleep, sitting curled up on the floor with her head on the sofa. A boy a
year older stood crying and shaking in the corner, probably he had just had a
beating. Beside him stood a girl of nine years old, tall and thin, wearing a thin and
ragged chemise with an ancient cashmere pelisse flung over her bare shoulders,
long outgrown and barely reaching her knees. Her arm, as thin as a stick, was
round her brother’s neck. She was trying to comfort him, whispering something to
him, and doing all she could to keep him from whimpering again. At the same
time her large dark eyes, which looked larger still from the thinness of her
frightened face, were watching her mother with alarm. Marmeladov did not enter
the door, but dropped on his knees in the very doorway, pushing Raskolnikov in
front of him. The woman seeing a stranger stopped indifferently facing him,
coming to herself for a moment and apparently wondering what he had come for.
But evidently she decided that he was going into the next room, as he had to pass
through hers to get there. Taking no further notice of him, she walked towards the
outer door to close it and uttered a sudden scream on seeing her husband on his
knees in the doorway.

“Ah!” she cried out in a frenzy, “he has come back! The criminal! the monster!
. . . And where is the money? What’s in your pocket, show me! And your clothes
are all different! Where are your clothes? Where is the money! Speak!”
And she fell to searching him. Marmeladov submissively and obediently held
up both arms to facilitate the search. Not a farthing was there.

“Where is the money?” she cried —“Mercy on us, can he have drunk it all?
There were twelve silver roubles left in the chest!” and in a fury she seized him by
the hair and dragged him into the room. Marmeladov seconded her efforts by
meekly crawling along on his knees.

“And this is a consolation to me! This does not hurt me, but is a positive con-
so-la-tion, ho-nou-red sir,” he called out, shaken to and fro by his hair and even
once striking the ground with his forehead. The child asleep on the floor woke up,
and began to cry. The boy in the corner losing all control began trembling and
screaming and rushed to his sister in violent terror, almost in a fit. The eldest girl
was shaking like a leaf.
“He’s drunk it! he’s drunk it all,” the poor woman screamed in despair —“and
his clothes are gone! And they are hungry, hungry!”— and wringing her hands she
pointed to the children. “Oh, accursed life! And you, are you not ashamed?”— she
pounced all at once upon Raskolnikov —“from the tavern! Have you been drinking
with him? You have been drinking with him, too! Go away!”

The young man was hastening away without uttering a word. The inner door
was thrown wide open and inquisitive faces were peering in at it. Coarse laughing
faces with pipes and cigarettes and heads wearing caps thrust themselves in at the
doorway. Further in could be seen figures in dressing gowns flung open, in
costumes of unseemly scantiness, some of them with cards in their hands. They
were particularly diverted, when Marmeladov, dragged about by his hair, shouted
that it was a consolation to him. They even began to come into the room; at last a
sinister shrill outcry was heard: this came from Amalia Lippevechsel herself
pushing her way amongst them and trying to restore order after her own fashion
and for the hundredth time to frighten the poor woman by ordering her with
coarse abuse to clear out of the room next day. As he went out, Raskolnikov had
time to put his hand into his pocket, to snatch up the coppers he had received in
exchange for his rouble in the tavern and to lay them unnoticed on the window.
Afterwards on the stairs, he changed his mind and would have gone back.

“What a stupid thing I’ve done,” he thought to himself, “they have Sonia and I
want it myself.” But reflecting that it would be impossible to take it back now and
that in any case he would not have taken it, he dismissed it with a wave of his hand
and went back to his lodging. “Sonia wants pomatum too,” he said as he walked
along the street, and he laughed malignantly —“such smartness costs money. . . .
Hm! And maybe Sonia herself will be bankrupt to-day, for there is always a risk,
hunting big game . . . digging for gold . . . then they would all be without a crust to-
morrow except for my money. Hurrah for Sonia! What a mine they’ve dug there!
And they’re making the most of it! Yes, they are making the most of it! They’ve
wept over it and grown used to it. Man grows used to everything, the scoundrel!”

He sank into thought.

“And what if I am wrong,” he cried suddenly after a moment’s thought. “What

if man is not really a scoundrel, man in general, I mean, the whole race of
mankind — then all the rest is prejudice, simply artificial terrors and there are no
barriers and it’s all as it should be.”
 CHAPTER III

He waked up late next day after a broken sleep. But his sleep had not refreshed
him; he waked up bilious, irritable, ill-tempered, and looked with hatred at his
room. It was a tiny cupboard of a room about six paces in length. It had a poverty-
stricken appearance with its dusty yellow paper peeling off the walls, and it was so
low-pitched that a man of more than average height was ill at ease in it and felt
every moment that he would knock his head against the ceiling. The furniture was
in keeping with the room: there were three old chairs, rather rickety; a painted
table in the corner on which lay a few manuscripts and books; the dust that lay
thick upon them showed that they had been long untouched. A big clumsy sofa
occupied almost the whole of one wall and half the floor space of the room; it was
once covered with chintz, but was now in rags and served Raskolnikov as a bed.
Often he went to sleep on it, as he was, without undressing, without sheets,
wrapped in his old student’s overcoat, with his head on one little pillow, under
which he heaped up all the linen he had, clean and dirty, by way of a bolster. A
little table stood in front of the sofa.

It would have been difficult to sink to a lower ebb of disorder, but to

Raskolnikov in his present state of mind this was positively agreeable. He had got
completely away from everyone, like a tortoise in its shell, and even the sight of a
servant girl who had to wait upon him and looked sometimes into his room made
him writhe with nervous irritation. He was in the condition that overtakes some
monomaniacs entirely concentrated upon one thing. His landlady had for the last
fortnight given up sending him in meals, and he had not yet thought of
expostulating with her, though he went without his dinner. Nastasya, the cook and
only servant, was rather pleased at the lodger’s mood and had entirely given up
sweeping and doing his room, only once a week or so she would stray into his
room with a broom. She waked him up that day.
“Get up, why are you asleep?” she called to him. “It’s past nine, I have brought
you some tea; will you have a cup? I should think you’re fairly starving?”

Raskolnikov opened his eyes, started and recognised Nastasya.

“From the landlady, eh?” he asked, slowly and with a sickly face sitting up on
the sofa.
 “From the landlady, indeed!”

She set before him her own cracked teapot full of weak and stale tea and laid
two yellow lumps of sugar by the side of it.
“Here, Nastasya, take it please,” he said, fumbling in his pocket (for he had
slept in his clothes) and taking out a handful of coppers —“run and buy me a loaf.
And get me a little sausage, the cheapest, at the pork-butcher’s.”
“The loaf I’ll fetch you this very minute, but wouldn’t you rather have some
cabbage soup instead of sausage? It’s capital soup, yesterday’s. I saved it for you
yesterday, but you came in late. It’s fine soup.”

When the soup had been brought, and he had begun upon it, Nastasya sat
down beside him on the sofa and began chatting. She was a country peasant-
woman and a very talkative one.

“Praskovya Pavlovna means to complain to the police about you,” she said.
He scowled.

“To the police? What does she want?”

“You don’t pay her money and you won’t turn out of the room. That’s what
she wants, to be sure.”

“The devil, that’s the last straw,” he muttered, grinding his teeth, “no, that
would not suit me . . . just now. She is a fool,” he added aloud. “I’ll go and talk to
her to-day.”
“Fool she is and no mistake, just as I am. But why, if you are so clever, do you
lie here like a sack and have nothing to show for it? One time you used to go out,
you say, to teach children. But why is it you do nothing now?”
“I am doing …” Raskolnikov began sullenly and reluctantly.

“What are you doing?”

“Work …”
“What sort of work?”

“I am thinking,” he answered seriously after a pause.

Nastasya was overcome with a fit of laughter. She was given to laughter and
when anything amused her, she laughed inaudibly, quivering and shaking all over
till she felt ill.

“And have you made much money by your thinking?” she managed to
articulate at last.

“One can’t go out to give lessons without boots. And I’m sick of it.”
“Don’t quarrel with your bread and butter.”

“They pay so little for lessons. What’s the use of a few coppers?” he answered,
reluctantly, as though replying to his own thought.

“And you want to get a fortune all at once?”

He looked at her strangely.

“Yes, I want a fortune,” he answered firmly, after a brief pause.

“Don’t be in such a hurry, you quite frighten me! Shall I get you the loaf or
not?”

“As you please.”

“Ah, I forgot! A letter came for you yesterday when you were out.”

“A letter? for me! from whom?”

“I can’t say. I gave three copecks of my own to the postman for it. Will you pay
me back?”

“Then bring it to me, for God’s sake, bring it,” cried Raskolnikov greatly
excited —“good God!”
A minute later the letter was brought him. That was it: from his mother, from
the province of R——. He turned pale when he took it. It was a long while since he
had received a letter, but another feeling also suddenly stabbed his heart.

“Nastasya, leave me alone, for goodness’ sake; here are your three copecks,
but for goodness’ sake, make haste and go!”

The letter was quivering in his hand; he did not want to open it in her
presence; he wanted to be left alone with this letter. When Nastasya had gone out,
he lifted it quickly to his lips and kissed it; then he gazed intently at the address,
the small, sloping handwriting, so dear and familiar, of the mother who had once
taught him to read and write. He delayed; he seemed almost afraid of something.
At last he opened it; it was a thick heavy letter, weighing over two ounces, two
large sheets of note paper were covered with very small handwriting.
“My dear Rodya,” wrote his mother —“it’s two months since I last had a talk
with you by letter which has distressed me and even kept me awake at night,
thinking. But I am sure you will not blame me for my inevitable silence. You know
how I love you; you are all we have to look to, Dounia and I, you are our all, our
one hope, our one stay. What a grief it was to me when I heard that you had given
up the university some months ago, for want of means to keep yourself and that
you had lost your lessons and your other work! How could I help you out of my
hundred and twenty roubles a year pension? The fifteen roubles I sent you four
months ago I borrowed, as you know, on security of my pension, from Vassily
Ivanovitch Vahrushin a merchant of this town. He is a kind-hearted man and was
a friend of your father’s too. But having given him the right to receive the pension,
I had to wait till the debt was paid off and that is only just done, so that I’ve been
unable to send you anything all this time. But now, thank God, I believe I shall be
able to send you something more and in fact we may congratulate ourselves on our
good fortune now, of which I hasten to inform you. In the first place, would you
have guessed, dear Rodya, that your sister has been living with me for the last six
weeks and we shall not be separated in the future. Thank God, her sufferings are
over, but I will tell you everything in order, so that you may know just how
everything has happened and all that we have hitherto concealed from you. When
you wrote to me two months ago that you had heard that Dounia had a great deal
to put up with in the Svidrigraïlovs’ house, when you wrote that and asked me to
tell you all about it — what could I write in answer to you? If I had written the
whole truth to you, I dare say you would have thrown up everything and have
come to us, even if you had to walk all the way, for I know your character and your
feelings, and you would not let your sister be insulted. I was in despair myself, but
what could I do? And, besides, I did not know the whole truth myself then. What
made it all so difficult was that Dounia received a hundred roubles in advance
when she took the place as governess in their family, on condition of part of her
salary being deducted every month, and so it was impossible to throw up the
situation without repaying the debt. This sum (now I can explain it all to you, my
precious Rodya) she took chiefly in order to send you sixty roubles, which you
needed so terribly then and which you received from us last year. We deceived you
then, writing that this money came from Dounia’s savings, but that was not so,
and now I tell you all about it, because, thank God, things have suddenly changed
for the better, and that you may know how Dounia loves you and what a heart she
has. At first indeed Mr. Svidrigaïlov treated her very rudely and used to make
disrespectful and jeering remarks at table. . . . But I don’t want to go into all those
painful details, so as not to worry you for nothing when it is now all over. In short,
in spite of the kind and generous behaviour of Marfa Petrovna, Mr. Svidrigaïlov’s
wife, and all the rest of the household, Dounia had a very hard time, especially
when Mr. Svidrigaïlov, relapsing into his old regimental habits, was under the
influence of Bacchus. And how do you think it was all explained later on? Would
you believe that the crazy fellow had conceived a passion for Dounia from the
beginning, but had concealed it under a show of rudeness and contempt. Possibly
he was ashamed and horrified himself at his own flighty hopes, considering his
years and his being the father of a family; and that made him angry with Dounia.
And possibly, too, he hoped by his rude and sneering behaviour to hide the truth
from others. But at last he lost all control and had the face to make Dounia an
open and shameful proposal, promising her all sorts of inducements and offering,
besides, to throw up everything and take her to another estate of his, or even
abroad. You can imagine all she went through! To leave her situation at once was
impossible not only on account of the money debt, but also to spare the feelings of
Marfa Petrovna, whose suspicions would have been aroused: and then Dounia
would have been the cause of a rupture in the family. And it would have meant a
terrible scandal for Dounia too; that would have been inevitable. There were
various other reasons owing to which Dounia could not hope to escape from that
awful house for another six weeks. You know Dounia, of course; you know how
clever she is and what a strong will she has. Dounia can endure a great deal and
even in the most difficult cases she has the fortitude to maintain her firmness. She
did not even write to me about everything for fear of upsetting me, although we
were constantly in communication. It all ended very unexpectedly. Marfa Petrovna
accidentally overheard her husband imploring Dounia in the garden, and, putting
quite a wrong interpretation on the position, threw the blame upon her, believing
her to be the cause of it all. An awful scene took place between them on the spot in
the garden; Marfa Petrovna went so far as to strike Dounia, refused to hear
anything and was shouting at her for a whole hour and then gave orders that
Dounia should be packed off at once to me in a plain peasant’s cart, into which
they flung all her things, her linen and her clothes, all pell-mell, without folding it
up and packing it. And a heavy shower of rain came on, too, and Dounia, insulted
and put to shame, had to drive with a peasant in an open cart all the seventeen
versts into town. Only think now what answer could I have sent to the letter I
received from you two months ago and what could I have written? I was in
despair; I dared not write to you the truth because you would have been very
unhappy, mortified and indignant, and yet what could you do? You could only
perhaps ruin yourself, and, besides, Dounia would not allow it; and fill up my
letter with trifles when my heart was so full of sorrow, I could not. For a whole
month the town was full of gossip about this scandal, and it came to such a pass
that Dounia and I dared not even go to church on account of the contemptuous
looks, whispers, and even remarks made aloud about us. All our acquaintances
avoided us, nobody even bowed to us in the street, and I learnt that some
shopmen and clerks were intending to insult us in a shameful way, smearing the
gates of our house with pitch, so that the landlord began to tell us we must leave.
All this was set going by Marfa Petrovna who managed to slander Dounia and
throw dirt at her in every family. She knows everyone in the neighbourhood, and
that month she was continually coming into the town, and as she is rather
talkative and fond of gossiping about her family affairs and particularly of
complaining to all and each of her husband — which is not at all right — so in a
short time she had spread her story not only in the town, but over the whole
surrounding district. It made me ill, but Dounia bore it better than I did, and if
only you could have seen how she endured it all and tried to comfort me and cheer
me up! She is an angel! But by God’s mercy, our sufferings were cut short: Mr.
Svidrigaïlov returned to his senses and repented and, probably feeling sorry for
Dounia, he laid before Marfa Petrovna a complete and unmistakable proof of
Dounia’s innocence, in the form of a letter Dounia had been forced to write and
give to him, before Marfa Petrovna came upon them in the garden. This letter,
which remained in Mr. Svidrigaïlov’s hands after her departure, she had written to
refuse personal explanations and secret interviews, for which he was entreating
her. In that letter she reproached him with great heat and indignation for the
baseness of his behaviour in regard to Marfa Petrovna, reminding him that he was
the father and head of a family and telling him how infamous it was of him to
torment and make unhappy a defenceless girl, unhappy enough already. Indeed,
dear Rodya, the letter was so nobly and touchingly written that I sobbed when I
read it and to this day I cannot read it without tears. Moreover, the evidence of the
servants, too, cleared Dounia’s reputation; they had seen and known a great deal
more than Mr. Svidrigaïlov had himself supposed — as indeed is always the case
with servants. Marfa Petrovna was completely taken aback, and ‘again crushed’ as
she said herself to us, but she was completely convinced of Dounia’s innocence.
The very next day, being Sunday, she went straight to the Cathedral, knelt down
and prayed with tears to Our Lady to give her strength to bear this new trial and to
do her duty. Then she came straight from the Cathedral to us, told us the whole
story, wept bitterly and, fully penitent, she embraced Dounia and besought her to
forgive her. The same morning without any delay, she went round to all the houses
in the town and everywhere, shedding tears, she asserted in the most flattering
terms Dounia’s innocence and the nobility of her feelings and her behavior. What
was more, she showed and read to everyone the letter in Dounia’s own
handwriting to Mr. Svidrigaïlov and even allowed them to take copies of it —
which I must say I think was superfluous. In this way she was busy for several
days in driving about the whole town, because some people had taken offence
through precedence having been given to others. And therefore they had to take
turns, so that in every house she was expected before she arrived, and everyone
knew that on such and such a day Marfa Petrovna would be reading the letter in
such and such a place and people assembled for every reading of it, even many
who had heard it several times already both in their own houses and in other
people’s. In my opinion a great deal, a very great deal of all this was unnecessary;
but that’s Marfa Petrovna’s character. Anyway she succeeded in completely re-
establishing Dounia’s reputation and the whole ignominy of this affair rested as an
indelible disgrace upon her husband, as the only person to blame, so that I really
began to feel sorry for him; it was really treating the crazy fellow too harshly.
Dounia was at once asked to give lessons in several families, but she refused. All of
a sudden everyone began to treat her with marked respect and all this did much to
bring about the event by which, one may say, our whole fortunes are now
transformed. You must know, dear Rodya, that Dounia has a suitor and that she
has already consented to marry him. I hasten to tell you all about the matter, and
though it has been arranged without asking your consent, I think you will not be
aggrieved with me or with your sister on that account, for you will see that we
could not wait and put off our decision till we heard from you. And you could not
have judged all the facts without being on the spot. This was how it happened. He
is already of the rank of a counsellor, Pyotr Petrovitch Luzhin, and is distantly
related to Marfa Petrovna, who has been very active in bringing the match about.
It began with his expressing through her his desire to make our acquaintance. He
was properly received, drank coffee with us and the very next day he sent us a
letter in which he very courteously made an offer and begged for a speedy and
decided answer. He is a very busy man and is in a great hurry to get to Petersburg,
so that every moment is precious to him. At first, of course, we were greatly
surprised, as it had all happened so quickly and unexpectedly. We thought and
talked it over the whole day. He is a well-to-do man, to be depended upon, he has
two posts in the government and has already made his fortune. It is true that he is
forty-five years old, but he is of a fairly prepossessing appearance and might still
be thought attractive by women, and he is altogether a very respectable and
presentable man, only he seems a little morose and somewhat conceited. But
possibly that may only be the impression he makes at first sight. And beware, dear
Rodya, when he comes to Petersburg, as he shortly will do, beware of judging him
too hastily and severely, as your way is, if there is anything you do not like in him
at first sight. I give you this warning, although I feel sure that he will make a
favourable impression upon you. Moreover, in order to understand any man one
must be deliberate and careful to avoid forming prejudices and mistaken ideas,
which are very difficult to correct and get over afterwards. And Pyotr Petrovitch,
judging by many indications, is a thoroughly estimable man. At his first visit,
indeed, he told us that he was a practical man, but still he shares, as he expressed
it, many of the convictions ‘of our most rising generation’ and he is an opponent of
all prejudices. He said a good deal more, for he seems a little conceited and likes to
be listened to, but this is scarcely a vice. I, of course, understood very little of it,
but Dounia explained to me that, though he is not a man of great education, he is
clever and seems to be good-natured. You know your sister’s character, Rodya.
She is a resolute, sensible, patient and generous girl, but she has a passionate
heart, as I know very well. Of course, there is no great love either on his side, or on
hers, but Dounia is a clever girl and has the heart of an angel, and will make it her
duty to make her husband happy who on his side will make her happiness his care.
Of that we have no good reason to doubt, though it must be admitted the matter
has been arranged in great haste. Besides he is a man of great prudence and he
will see, to be sure, of himself, that his own happiness will be the more secure, the
happier Dounia is with him. And as for some defects of character, for some habits
and even certain differences of opinion — which indeed are inevitable even in the
happiest marriages — Dounia has said that, as regards all that, she relies on
herself, that there is nothing to be uneasy about, and that she is ready to put up
with a great deal, if only their future relationship can be an honourable and
straightforward one. He struck me, for instance, at first, as rather abrupt, but that
may well come from his being an outspoken man, and that is no doubt how it is.
For instance, at his second visit, after he had received Dounia’s consent, in the
course of conversation, he declared that before making Dounia’s acquaintance, he
had made up his mind to marry a girl of good reputation, without dowry and,
above all, one who had experienced poverty, because, as he explained, a man
ought not to be indebted to his wife, but that it is better for a wife to look upon her
husband as her benefactor. I must add that he expressed it more nicely and
politely than I have done, for I have forgotten his actual phrases and only
remember the meaning. And, besides, it was obviously not said of design, but
slipped out in the heat of conversation, so that he tried afterwards to correct
himself and smooth it over, but all the same it did strike me as somewhat rude,
and I said so afterwards to Dounia. But Dounia was vexed, and answered that
‘words are not deeds,’ and that, of course, is perfectly true. Dounia did not sleep all
night before she made up her mind, and, thinking that I was asleep, she got out of
bed and was walking up and down the room all night; at last she knelt down
before the ikon and prayed long and fervently and in the morning she told me that
she had decided.

“I have mentioned already that Pyotr Petrovitch is just setting off for
Petersburg, where he has a great deal of business, and he wants to open a legal
bureau. He has been occupied for many years in conducting civil and commercial
litigation, and only the other day he won an important case. He has to be in
Petersburg because he has an important case before the Senate. So, Rodya dear,
he may be of the greatest use to you, in every way indeed, and Dounia and I have
agreed that from this very day you could definitely enter upon your career and
might consider that your future is marked out and assured for you. Oh, if only this
comes to pass! This would be such a benefit that we could only look upon it as a
providential blessing. Dounia is dreaming of nothing else. We have even ventured
already to drop a few words on the subject to Pyotr Petrovitch. He was cautious in
his answer, and said that, of course, as he could not get on without a secretary, it
would be better to be paying a salary to a relation than to a stranger, if only the
former were fitted for the duties (as though there could be doubt of your being
fitted!) but then he expressed doubts whether your studies at the university would
leave you time for work at his office. The matter dropped for the time, but Dounia
is thinking of nothing else now. She has been in a sort of fever for the last few
days, and has already made a regular plan for your becoming in the end an
associate and even a partner in Pyotr Petrovitch’s business, which might well be,
seeing that you are a student of law. I am in complete agreement with her, Rodya,
and share all her plans and hopes, and think there is every probability of realising
them. And in spite of Pyotr Petrovitch’s evasiveness, very natural at present (since
he does not know you), Dounia is firmly persuaded that she will gain everything
by her good influence over her future husband; this she is reckoning upon. Of
course we are careful not to talk of any of these more remote plans to Pyotr
Petrovitch, especially of your becoming his partner. He is a practical man and
might take this very coldly, it might all seem to him simply a day-dream. Nor has
either Dounia or I breathed a word to him of the great hopes we have of his
helping us to pay for your university studies; we have not spoken of it in the first
place, because it will come to pass of itself, later on, and he will no doubt without
wasting words offer to do it of himself, (as though he could refuse Dounia that) the
more readily since you may by your own efforts become his right hand in the
office, and receive this assistance not as a charity, but as a salary earned by your
own work. Dounia wants to arrange it all like this and I quite agree with her. And
we have not spoken of our plans for another reason, that is, because I particularly
wanted you to feel on an equal footing when you first meet him. When Dounia
spoke to him with enthusiasm about you, he answered that one could never judge
of a man without seeing him close, for oneself, and that he looked forward to
forming his own opinion when he makes your acquaintance. Do you know, my
precious Rodya, I think that perhaps for some reasons (nothing to do with Pyotr
Petrovitch though, simply for my own personal, perhaps old-womanish, fancies) I
should do better to go on living by myself, apart, than with them, after the
wedding. I am convinced that he will be generous and delicate enough to invite me
and to urge me to remain with my daughter for the future, and if he has said
nothing about it hitherto, it is simply because it has been taken for granted; but I
shall refuse. I have noticed more than once in my life that husbands don’t quite get
on with their mothers-in-law, and I don’t want to be the least bit in anyone’s way,
and for my own sake, too, would rather be quite independent, so long as I have a
crust of bread of my own, and such children as you and Dounia. If possible, I
would settle somewhere near you, for the most joyful piece of news, dear Rodya, I
have kept for the end of my letter: know then, my dear boy, that we may, perhaps,
be all together in a very short time and may embrace one another again after a
separation of almost three years! It is settled for certain that Dounia and I are to
set off for Petersburg, exactly when I don’t know, but very, very soon, possibly in a
week. It all depends on Pyotr Petrovitch who will let us know when he has had
time to look round him in Petersburg. To suit his own arrangements he is anxious
to have the ceremony as soon as possible, even before the fast of Our Lady, if it
could be managed, or if that is too soon to be ready, immediately after. Oh, with
what happiness I shall press you to my heart! Dounia is all excitement at the joyful
thought of seeing you, she said one day in joke that she would be ready to marry
Pyotr Petrovitch for that alone. She is an angel! She is not writing anything to you
now, and has only told me to write that she has so much, so much to tell you that
she is not going to take up her pen now, for a few lines would tell you nothing, and
it would only mean upsetting herself; she bids me send you her love and
innumerable kisses. But although we shall be meeting so soon, perhaps I shall
send you as much money as I can in a day or two. Now that everyone has heard
that Dounia is to marry Pyotr Petrovitch, my credit has suddenly improved and I
know that Afanasy Ivanovitch will trust me now even to seventy-five roubles on
the security of my pension, so that perhaps I shall be able to send you twenty-five
or even thirty roubles. I would send you more, but I am uneasy about our
travelling expenses; for though Pyotr Petrovitch has been so kind as to undertake
part of the expenses of the journey, that is to say, he has taken upon himself the
conveyance of our bags and big trunk (which will be conveyed through some
acquaintances of his), we must reckon upon some expense on our arrival in
Petersburg, where we can’t be left without a halfpenny, at least for the first few
days. But we have calculated it all, Dounia and I, to the last penny, and we see that
the journey will not cost very much. It is only ninety versts from us to the railway
and we have come to an agreement with a driver we know, so as to be in readiness;
and from there Dounia and I can travel quite comfortably third class. So that I
may very likely be able to send to you not twenty-five, but thirty roubles. But
enough; I have covered two sheets already and there is no space left for more; our
whole history, but so many events have happened! And now, my precious Rodya, I
embrace you and send you a mother’s blessing till we meet. Love Dounia your
sister, Rodya; love her as she loves you and understand that she loves you beyond
everything, more than herself. She is an angel and you, Rodya, you are everything
to us — our one hope, our one consolation. If only you are happy, we shall be
happy. Do you still say your prayers, Rodya, and believe in the mercy of our
Creator and our Redeemer? I am afraid in my heart that you may have been
visited by the new spirit of infidelity that is abroad to-day; If it is so, I pray for you.
Remember, dear boy, how in your childhood, when your father was living, you
used to lisp your prayers at my knee, and how happy we all were in those days.
Good-bye, till we meet then — I embrace you warmly, warmly, with many kisses.

“Yours till death,

“PULCHERIA RASKOLNIKOV.”

Almost from the first, while he read the letter, Raskolnikov’s face was wet
with tears; but when he finished it, his face was pale and distorted and a bitter,
wrathful and malignant smile was on his lips. He laid his head down on his
threadbare dirty pillow and pondered, pondered a long time. His heart was
beating violently, and his brain was in a turmoil. At last he felt cramped and stifled
in the little yellow room that was like a cupboard or a box. His eyes and his mind
craved for space. He took up his hat and went out, this time without dread of
meeting anyone; he had forgotten his dread. He turned in the direction of the
Vassilyevsky Ostrov, walking along Vassilyevsky Prospect, as though hastening on
some business, but he walked, as his habit was, without noticing his way,
muttering and even speaking aloud to himself, to the astonishment of the passers-
by. Many of them took him to be drunk.
 CHAPTER IV

His mother’s letter had been a torture to him, but as regards the chief fact in it, he
had felt not one moment’s hesitation, even whilst he was reading the letter. The
essential question was settled, and irrevocably settled, in his mind: “Never such a
marriage while I am alive and Mr. Luzhin be damned!” “The thing is perfectly
clear,” he muttered to himself, with a malignant smile anticipating the triumph of
his decision. “No, mother, no, Dounia, you won’t deceive me! and then they
apologise for not asking my advice and for taking the decision without me! I dare
say! They imagine it is arranged now and can’t be broken off; but we will see
whether it can or not! A magnificent excuse: ‘Pyotr Petrovitch is such a busy man
that even his wedding has to be in post-haste, almost by express.’ No, Dounia, I
see it all and I know what you want to say to me; and I know too what you were
thinking about, when you walked up and down all night, and what your prayers
were like before the Holy Mother of Kazan who stands in mother’s bedroom.
Bitter is the ascent to Golgotha. . . . Hm . . . so it is finally settled; you have
determined to marry a sensible business man, Avdotya Romanovna, one who has
a fortune (has already made his fortune, that is so much more solid and
impressive) a man who holds two government posts and who shares the ideas of
our most rising generation, as mother writes, and who seems to be kind, as
Dounia herself observes. That seems beats everything! And that very Dounia for
that very ‘seems‘ is marrying him! Splendid! splendid!
“ . . . But I should like to know why mother has written to me about ‘our most
rising generation’? Simply as a descriptive touch, or with the idea of prepossessing
me in favour of Mr. Luzhin? Oh, the cunning of them! I should like to know one
thing more: how far they were open with one another that day and night and all
this time since? Was it all put into words, or did both understand that they had
the same thing at heart and in their minds, so that there was no need to speak of it
aloud, and better not to speak of it. Most likely it was partly like that, from
mother’s letter it’s evident: he struck her as rude a little, and mother in her
simplicity took her observations to Dounia. And she was sure to be vexed and
‘answered her angrily.’ I should think so! Who would not be angered when it was
quite clear without any naïve questions and when it was understood that it was
useless to discuss it. And why does she write to me, ‘love Dounia, Rodya, and she
loves you more than herself’? Has she a secret conscience-prick at sacrificing her
daughter to her son? ‘You are our one comfort, you are everything to us.’ Oh,
mother!”
His bitterness grew more and more intense, and if he had happened to meet
Mr. Luzhin at the moment, he might have murdered him.

“Hm . . . yes, that’s true,” he continued, pursuing the whirling ideas that
chased each other in his brain, “it is true that ‘it needs time and care to get to
know a man,’ but there is no mistake about Mr. Luzhin. The chief thing is he is ‘a
man of business and seems kind,’ that was something, wasn’t it, to send the bags
and big box for them! A kind man, no doubt after that! But his bride and her
mother are to drive in a peasant’s cart covered with sacking (I know, I have been
driven in it). No matter! It is only ninety versts and then they can ‘travel very
comfortably, third class,’ for a thousand versts! Quite right, too. One must cut
one’s coat according to one’s cloth, but what about you, Mr. Luzhin? She is your
bride. . . . And you must be aware that her mother has to raise money on her
pension for the journey. To be sure it’s a matter of business, a partnership for
mutual benefit, with equal shares and expenses; — food and drink provided, but
pay for your tobacco. The business man has got the better of them, too. The
luggage will cost less than their fares and very likely go for nothing. How is it that
they don’t both see all that, or is it that they don’t want to see? And they are
pleased, pleased! And to think that this is only the first blossoming, and that the
real fruits are to come! But what really matters is not the stinginess, is not the
meanness, but the tone of the whole thing. For that will be the tone after marriage,
it’s a foretaste of it. And mother too, why should she be so lavish? What will she
have by the time she gets to Petersburg? Three silver roubles or two ‘paper ones’
as she says. . . . that old woman . . . hm. What does she expect to live upon in
Petersburg afterwards? She has her reasons already for guessing that she could
not live with Dounia after the marriage, even for the first few months. The good
man has no doubt let slip something on that subject also, though mother would
deny it: ‘I shall refuse,’ says she. On whom is she reckoning then? Is she counting
on what is left of her hundred and twenty roubles of pension when Afanasy
Ivanovitch’s debt is paid? She knits woollen shawls and embroiders cuffs, ruining
her old eyes. And all her shawls don’t add more than twenty roubles a year to her
hundred and twenty, I know that. So she is building all her hopes all the time on
Mr. Luzhin’s generosity; ‘he will offer it of himself, he will press it on me.’ You may
wait a long time for that! That’s how it always is with these Schilleresque noble
hearts; till the last moment every goose is a swan with them, till the last moment,
they hope for the best and will see nothing wrong, and although they have an
inkling of the other side of the picture, yet they won’t face the truth till they are
forced to; the very thought of it makes them shiver; they thrust the truth away
with both hands, until the man they deck out in false colours puts a fool’s cap on
them with his own hands. I should like to know whether Mr. Luzhin has any
orders of merit; I bet he has the Anna in his buttonhole and that he puts it on
when he goes to dine with contractors or merchants. He will be sure to have it for
his wedding, too! Enough of him, confound him!

“Well, . . . mother I don’t wonder at, it’s like her, God bless her, but how could
Dounia? Dounia darling, as though I did not know you! You were nearly twenty
when I saw you last: I understood you then. Mother writes that ‘Dounia can put up
with a great deal.’ I know that very well. I knew that two years and a half ago, and
for the last two and a half years I have been thinking about it, thinking of just that,
that ‘Dounia can put up with a great deal.’ If she could put up with Mr.
Svidrigaïlov and all the rest of it, she certainly can put up with a great deal. And
now mother and she have taken it into their heads that she can put up with Mr.
Luzhin, who propounds the theory of the superiority of wives raised from
destitution and owing everything to their husband’s bounty — who propounds it,
too, almost at the first interview. Granted that he ‘let it slip,’ though he is a
sensible man, (yet maybe it was not a slip at all, but he meant to make himself
clear as soon as possible) but Dounia, Dounia? She understands the man, of
course, but she will have to live with the man. Why! she’d live on black bread and
water, she would not sell her soul, she would not barter her moral freedom for
comfort; she would not barter it for all Schleswig-Holstein, much less Mr. Luzhin’s
money. No, Dounia was not that sort when I knew her and . . . she is still the same,
of course! Yes, there’s no denying, the Svidrigaïlovs are a bitter pill! It’s a bitter
thing to spend one’s life a governess in the provinces for two hundred roubles, but
I know she would rather be a nigger on a plantation or a Lett with a German
master than degrade her soul, and her moral dignity, by binding herself for ever to
a man whom she does not respect and with whom she has nothing in common —
for her own advantage. And if Mr. Luzhin had been of unalloyed gold, or one huge
diamond, she would never have consented to become his legal concubine. Why is
she consenting then? What’s the point of it? What’s the answer? It’s clear enough:
for herself, for her comfort, to save her life she would not sell herself, but for
someone else she is doing it! For one she loves, for one she adores, she will sell
herself! That’s what it all amounts to; for her brother, for her mother, she will sell
herself! She will sell everything! In such cases, ‘we overcome our moral feeling if
necessary,’ freedom, peace, conscience even, all, all are brought into the market.
Let my life go, if only my dear ones may be happy! More than that, we become
casuists, we learn to be Jesuitical and for a time maybe we can soothe ourselves,
we can persuade ourselves that it is one’s duty for a good object. That’s just like us,
it’s as clear as daylight. It’s clear that Rodion Romanovitch Raskolnikov is the
central figure in the business, and no one else. Oh, yes, she can ensure his
happiness, keep him in the university, make him a partner in the office, make his
whole future secure; perhaps he may even be a rich man later on, prosperous,
respected, and may even end his life a famous man! But my mother? It’s all Rodya,
precious Rodya, her first born! For such a son who would not sacrifice such a
daughter! Oh, loving, over-partial hearts! Why, for his sake we would not shrink
even from Sonia’s fate. Sonia, Sonia Marmeladov, the eternal victim so long as the
world lasts. Have you taken the measure of your sacrifice, both of you? Is it right?
Can you bear it? Is it any use? Is there sense in it? And let me tell you, Dounia,
Sonia’s life is no worse than life with Mr. Luzhin. ‘There can be no question of
love,’ mother writes. And what if there can be no respect either, if on the contrary
there is aversion, contempt, repulsion, what then? So you will have to ‘keep up
your appearance,’ too. Is not that so? Do you understand what that smartness
means? Do you understand that the Luzhin smartness is just the same thing as
Sonia’s and may be worse, viler, baser, because in your case, Dounia, it’s a bargain
for luxuries, after all, but with Sonia it’s simply a question of starvation. It has to
be paid for, it has to be paid for, Dounia, this smartness. And what if it’s more
than you can bear afterwards, if you regret it? The bitterness, the misery, the
curses, the tears hidden from all the world, for you are not a Marfa Petrovna. And
how will your mother feel then? Even now she is uneasy, she is worried, but then,
when she sees it all clearly? And I? Yes, indeed, what have you taken me for? I
won’t have your sacrifice, Dounia, I won’t have it, mother! It shall not be, so long
as I am alive, it shall not, it shall not! I won’t accept it!”
He suddenly paused in his reflection and stood still.

“It shall not be? But what are you going to do to prevent it? You’ll forbid it?
And what right have you? What can you promise them on your side to give you
such a right? Your whole life, your whole future, you will devote to them when you
have finished your studies and obtained a post? Yes, we have heard all that
before, and that’s all words, but now? Now something must be done, now, do you
understand that? And what are you doing now? You are living upon them. They
borrow on their hundred roubles pension. They borrow from the Svidrigaïlovs.
How are you going to save them from Svidrigaïlovs, from Afanasy Ivanovitch
Vahrushin, oh, future millionaire Zeus who would arrange their lives for them? In
another ten years? In another ten years, mother will be blind with knitting shawls,
maybe with weeping too. She will be worn to a shadow with fasting; and my sister?
Imagine for a moment what may have become of your sister in ten years? What
may happen to her during those ten years? Can you fancy?”
So he tortured himself, fretting himself with such questions, and finding a
kind of enjoyment in it. And yet all these questions were not new ones suddenly
confronting him, they were old familiar aches. It was long since they had first
begun to grip and rend his heart. Long, long ago his present anguish had its first
beginnings; it had waxed and gathered strength, it had matured and concentrated,
until it had taken the form of a fearful, frenzied and fantastic question, which
tortured his heart and mind, clamouring insistently for an answer. Now his
mother’s letter had burst on him like a thunderclap. It was clear that he must not
now suffer passively, worrying himself over unsolved questions, but that he must
do something, do it at once, and do it quickly. Anyway he must decide on
something, or else …
“Or throw up life altogether!” he cried suddenly, in a frenzy —“accept one’s lot
humbly as it is, once for all and stifle everything in oneself, giving up all claim to
activity, life and love!”
“Do you understand, sir, do you understand what it means when you have
absolutely nowhere to turn?” Marmeladov’s question came suddenly into his
mind, “for every man must have somewhere to turn . . . .”

He gave a sudden start; another thought, that he had had yesterday, slipped
back into his mind. But he did not start at the thought recurring to him, for he
knew, he had felt beforehand, that it must come back, he was expecting it; besides
it was not only yesterday’s thought. The difference was that a month ago,
yesterday even, the thought was a mere dream: but now . . . now it appeared not a
dream at all, it had taken a new menacing and quite unfamiliar shape, and he
suddenly became aware of this himself. . . . He felt a hammering in his head, and
there was a darkness before his eyes.

He looked round hurriedly, he was searching for something. He wanted to sit

down and was looking for a seat; he was walking along the K—— Boulevard. There
was a seat about a hundred paces in front of him. He walked towards it as fast he
could; but on the way he met with a little adventure which absorbed all his
attention. Looking for the seat, he had noticed a woman walking some twenty
paces in front of him, but at first he took no more notice of her than of other
objects that crossed his path. It had happened to him many times going home not
to notice the road by which he was going, and he was accustomed to walk like that.
But there was at first sight something so strange about the woman in front of him,
that gradually his attention was riveted upon her, at first reluctantly and, as it
were, resentfully, and then more and more intently. He felt a sudden desire to find
out what it was that was so strange about the woman. In the first place, she
appeared to be a girl quite young, and she was walking in the great heat
bareheaded and with no parasol or gloves, waving her arms about in an absurd
way. She had on a dress of some light silky material, but put on strangely awry,
not properly hooked up, and torn open at the top of the skirt, close to the waist: a
great piece was rent and hanging loose. A little kerchief was flung about her bare
throat, but lay slanting on one side. The girl was walking unsteadily, too,
stumbling and staggering from side to side. She drew Raskolnikov’s whole
attention at last. He overtook the girl at the seat, but, on reaching it, she dropped
down on it, in the corner; she let her head sink on the back of the seat and closed
her eyes, apparently in extreme exhaustion. Looking at her closely, he saw at once
that she was completely drunk. It was a strange and shocking sight. He could
hardly believe that he was not mistaken. He saw before him the face of a quite
young, fair-haired girl — sixteen, perhaps not more than fifteen, years old, pretty
little face, but flushed and heavy looking and, as it were, swollen. The girl seemed
hardly to know what she was doing; she crossed one leg over the other, lifting it
indecorously, and showed every sign of being unconscious that she was in the
street.
Raskolnikov did not sit down, but he felt unwilling to leave her, and stood
facing her in perplexity. This boulevard was never much frequented; and now, at
two o’clock, in the stifling heat, it was quite deserted. And yet on the further side
of the boulevard, about fifteen paces away, a gentleman was standing on the edge
of the pavement. He, too, would apparently have liked to approach the girl with
some object of his own. He, too, had probably seen her in the distance and had
followed her, but found Raskolnikov in his way. He looked angrily at him, though
he tried to escape his notice, and stood impatiently biding his time, till the
unwelcome man in rags should have moved away. His intentions were
unmistakable. The gentleman was a plump, thickly-set man, about thirty,
fashionably dressed, with a high colour, red lips and moustaches. Raskolnikov felt
furious; he had a sudden longing to insult this fat dandy in some way. He left the
girl for a moment and walked towards the gentleman.
“Hey! You Svidrigaïlov! What do you want here?” he shouted, clenching his
fists and laughing, spluttering with rage.

“What do you mean?” the gentleman asked sternly, scowling in haughty

astonishment.
“Get away, that’s what I mean.”

“How dare you, you low fellow!”

He raised his cane. Raskolnikov rushed at him with his fists, without
reflecting that the stout gentleman was a match for two men like himself. But at
that instant someone seized him from behind, and a police constable stood
between them.

“That’s enough, gentlemen, no fighting, please, in a public place. What do you

want? Who are you?” he asked Raskolnikov sternly, noticing his rags.

Raskolnikov looked at him intently. He had a straight-forward, sensible,

soldierly face, with grey moustaches and whiskers.
“You are just the man I want,” Raskolnikov cried, catching at his arm. “I am a
student, Raskolnikov. . . . You may as well know that too,” he added, addressing
the gentleman, “come along, I have something to show you.”

And taking the policeman by the hand he drew him towards the seat.
“Look here, hopelessly drunk, and she has just come down the boulevard.
There is no telling who and what she is, she does not look like a professional. It’s
more likely she has been given drink and deceived somewhere . . . for the first time
. . . you understand? and they’ve put her out into the street like that. Look at the
way her dress is torn, and the way it has been put on: she has been dressed by
somebody, she has not dressed herself, and dressed by unpractised hands, by a
man’s hands; that’s evident. And now look there: I don’t know that dandy with
whom I was going to fight, I see him for the first time, but he, too, has seen her on
the road, just now, drunk, not knowing what she is doing, and now he is very eager
to get hold of her, to get her away somewhere while she is in this state . . . that’s
certain, believe me, I am not wrong. I saw him myself watching her and following
her, but I prevented him, and he is just waiting for me to go away. Now he has
walked away a little, and is standing still, pretending to make a cigarette. . . . Think
how can we keep her out of his hands, and how are we to get her home?”

The policeman saw it all in a flash. The stout gentleman was easy to
understand, he turned to consider the girl. The policeman bent over to examine
her more closely, and his face worked with genuine compassion.

“Ah, what a pity!” he said, shaking his head —“why, she is quite a child! She
has been deceived, you can see that at once. Listen, lady,” he began addressing
her, “where do you live?” The girl opened her weary and sleepy-looking eyes,
gazed blankly at the speaker and waved her hand.

“Here,” said Raskolnikov feeling in his pocket and finding twenty copecks,
“here, call a cab and tell him to drive her to her address. The only thing is to find
out her address!”
“Missy, missy!” the policeman began again, taking the money. “I’ll fetch you a
cab and take you home myself. Where shall I take you, eh? Where do you live?”

“Go away! They won’t let me alone,” the girl muttered, and once more waved
her hand.

“Ach, ach, how shocking! It’s shameful, missy, it’s a shame!” He shook his
head again, shocked, sympathetic and indignant.

“It’s a difficult job,” the policeman said to Raskolnikov, and as he did so, he
looked him up and down in a rapid glance. He, too, must have seemed a strange
figure to him: dressed in rags and handing him money!

“Did you meet her far from here?” he asked him.

“I tell you she was walking in front of me, staggering, just here, in the
boulevard. She only just reached the seat and sank down on it.”

“Ah, the shameful things that are done in the world nowadays, God have
mercy on us! An innocent creature like that, drunk already! She has been
deceived, that’s a sure thing. See how her dress has been torn too. . . . Ah, the vice
one sees nowadays! And as likely as not she belongs to gentlefolk too, poor ones
maybe. . . . There are many like that nowadays. She looks refined, too, as though
she were a lady,” and he bent over her once more.
Perhaps he had daughters growing up like that, “looking like ladies and
refined” with pretensions to gentility and smartness . . . .

“The chief thing is,” Raskolnikov persisted, “to keep her out of this
scoundrel’s hands! Why should he outrage her! It’s as clear as day what he is after;
ah, the brute, he is not moving off!”

Raskolnikov spoke aloud and pointed to him. The gentleman heard him, and
seemed about to fly into a rage again, but thought better of it, and confined
himself to a contemptuous look. He then walked slowly another ten paces away
and again halted.

“Keep her out of his hands we can,” said the constable thoughtfully, “if only
she’d tell us where to take her, but as it is. . . . Missy, hey, missy!” he bent over her
once more.
She opened her eyes fully all of a sudden, looked at him intently, as though
realising something, got up from the seat and walked away in the direction from
which she had come. “Oh shameful wretches, they won’t let me alone!” she said,
waving her hand again. She walked quickly, though staggering as before. The
dandy followed her, but along another avenue, keeping his eye on her.

“Don’t be anxious, I won’t let him have her,” the policeman said resolutely,
and he set off after them.
“Ah, the vice one sees nowadays!” he repeated aloud, sighing.

At that moment something seemed to sting Raskolnikov; in an instant a

complete revulsion of feeling came over him.

“Hey, here!” he shouted after the policeman.

The latter turned round.

“Let them be! What is it to do with you? Let her go! Let him amuse himself.”
He pointed at the dandy, “What is it to do with you?”
 The policeman was bewildered, and stared at him open-eyed. Raskolnikov
laughed.

“Well!” ejaculated the policeman, with a gesture of contempt, and he walked

after the dandy and the girl, probably taking Raskolnikov for a madman or
something even worse.

“He has carried off my twenty copecks,” Raskolnikov murmured angrily when
he was left alone. “Well, let him take as much from the other fellow to allow him to
have the girl and so let it end. And why did I want to interfere? Is it for me to help?
Have I any right to help? Let them devour each other alive — what is to me? How
did I dare to give him twenty copecks? Were they mine?”

In spite of those strange words he felt very wretched. He sat down on the
deserted seat. His thoughts strayed aimlessly. . . . He found it hard to fix his mind
on anything at that moment. He longed to forget himself altogether, to forget
everything, and then to wake up and begin life anew . . . .

“Poor girl!” he said, looking at the empty corner where she had sat — “She will
come to herself and weep, and then her mother will find out. . . . She will give her a
beating, a horrible, shameful beating and then maybe, turn her out of doors. . . .
And even if she does not, the Darya Frantsovnas will get wind of it, and the girl
will soon be slipping out on the sly here and there. Then there will be the hospital
directly (that’s always the luck of those girls with respectable mothers, who go
wrong on the sly) and then . . . again the hospital . . . drink . . . the taverns . . . and
more hospital, in two or three years — a wreck, and her life over at eighteen or
nineteen. . . . Have not I seen cases like that? And how have they been brought to
it? Why, they’ve all come to it like that. Ugh! But what does it matter? That’s as it
should be, they tell us. A certain percentage, they tell us, must every year go . . .
that way . . . to the devil, I suppose, so that the rest may remain chaste, and not be
interfered with. A percentage! What splendid words they have; they are so
scientific, so consolatory. . . . Once you’ve said ‘percentage’ there’s nothing more to
worry about. If we had any other word . . . maybe we might feel more uneasy. . . .
But what if Dounia were one of the percentage! Of another one if not that one?

“But where am I going?” he thought suddenly. “Strange, I came out for

something. As soon as I had read the letter I came out. . . . I was going to
Vassilyevsky Ostrov, to Razumihin. That’s what it was . . . now I remember. What
for, though? And what put the idea of going to Razumihin into my head just now?
That’s curious.”

He wondered at himself. Razumihin was one of his old comrades at the

university. It was remarkable that Raskolnikov had hardly any friends at the
university; he kept aloof from everyone, went to see no one, and did not welcome
anyone who came to see him, and indeed everyone soon gave him up. He took no
part in the students’ gatherings, amusements or conversations. He worked with
great intensity without sparing himself, and he was respected for this, but no one
liked him. He was very poor, and there was a sort of haughty pride and reserve
about him, as though he were keeping something to himself. He seemed to some
of his comrades to look down upon them all as children, as though he were
superior in development, knowledge and convictions, as though their beliefs and
interests were beneath him.

With Razumihin he had got on, or, at least, he was more unreserved and
communicative with him. Indeed it was impossible to be on any other terms with
Razumihin. He was an exceptionally good-humoured and candid youth, good-
natured to the point of simplicity, though both depth and dignity lay concealed
under that simplicity. The better of his comrades understood this, and all were
fond of him. He was extremely intelligent, though he was certainly rather a
simpleton at times. He was of striking appearance — tall, thin, blackhaired and
always badly shaved. He was sometimes uproarious and was reputed to be of great
physical strength. One night, when out in a festive company, he had with one blow
laid a gigantic policeman on his back. There was no limit to his drinking powers,
but he could abstain from drink altogether; he sometimes went too far in his
pranks; but he could do without pranks altogether. Another thing striking about
Razumihin, no failure distressed him, and it seemed as though no unfavourable
circumstances could crush him. He could lodge anywhere, and bear the extremes
of cold and hunger. He was very poor, and kept himself entirely on what he could
earn by work of one sort or another. He knew of no end of resources by which to
earn money. He spent one whole winter without lighting his stove, and used to
declare that he liked it better, because one slept more soundly in the cold. For the
present he, too, had been obliged to give up the university, but it was only for a
time, and he was working with all his might to save enough to return to his studies
again. Raskolnikov had not been to see him for the last four months, and
Razumihin did not even know his address. About two months before, they had
met in the street, but Raskolnikov had turned away and even crossed to the other
side that he might not be observed. And though Razumihin noticed him, he passed
him by, as he did not want to annoy him.
 CHAPTER V

“Of course, I’ve been meaning lately to go to Razumihin’s to ask for work, to ask
him to get me lessons or something …” Raskolnikov thought, “but what help can
he be to me now? Suppose he gets me lessons, suppose he shares his last farthing
with me, if he has any farthings, so that I could get some boots and make myself
tidy enough to give lessons . . . hm . . . Well and what then? What shall I do with
the few coppers I earn? That’s not what I want now. It’s really absurd for me to go
to Razumihin . . . .”
The question why he was now going to Razumihin agitated him even more
than he was himself aware; he kept uneasily seeking for some sinister significance
in this apparently ordinary action.
“Could I have expected to set it all straight and to find a way out by means of
Razumihin alone?” he asked himself in perplexity.

He pondered and rubbed his forehead, and, strange to say, after long musing,
suddenly, as if it were spontaneously and by chance, a fantastic thought came into
his head.

“Hm . . . to Razumihin’s,” he said all at once, calmly, as though he had

reached a final determination. “I shall go to Razumihin’s of course, but . . . not
now. I shall go to him . . . on the next day after It, when It will be over and
everything will begin afresh . . . .”

And suddenly he realised what he was thinking.

“After It,” he shouted, jumping up from the seat, “but is It really going to
happen? Is it possible it really will happen?” He left the seat, and went off almost
at a run; he meant to turn back, homewards, but the thought of going home
suddenly filled him with intense loathing; in that hole, in that awful little
cupboard of his, all this had for a month past been growing up in him; and he
walked on at random.
His nervous shudder had passed into a fever that made him feel shivering; in
spite of the heat he felt cold. With a kind of effort he began almost unconsciously,
from some inner craving, to stare at all the objects before him, as though looking
for something to distract his attention; but he did not succeed, and kept dropping
every moment into brooding. When with a start he lifted his head again and
looked round, he forgot at once what he had just been thinking about and even
where he was going. In this way he walked right across Vassilyevsky Ostrov, came
out on to the Lesser Neva, crossed the bridge and turned towards the islands. The
greenness and freshness were at first restful to his weary eyes after the dust of the
town and the huge houses that hemmed him in and weighed upon him. Here there
were no taverns, no stifling closeness, no stench. But soon these new pleasant
sensations passed into morbid irritability. Sometimes he stood still before a
brightly painted summer villa standing among green foliage, he gazed through the
fence, he saw in the distance smartly dressed women on the verandahs and
balconies, and children running in the gardens. The flowers especially caught his
attention; he gazed at them longer than at anything. He was met, too, by luxurious
carriages and by men and women on horseback; he watched them with curious
eyes and forgot about them before they had vanished from his sight. Once he
stood still and counted his money; he found he had thirty copecks. “Twenty to the
policeman, three to Nastasya for the letter, so I must have given forty-seven or
fifty to the Marmeladovs yesterday,” he thought, reckoning it up for some
unknown reason, but he soon forgot with what object he had taken the money out
of his pocket. He recalled it on passing an eating-house or tavern, and felt that he
was hungry. . . . Going into the tavern he drank a glass of vodka and ate a pie of
some sort. He finished eating it as he walked away. It was a long while since he
had taken vodka and it had an effect upon him at once, though he only drank a
wineglassful. His legs felt suddenly heavy and a great drowsiness came upon him.
He turned homewards, but reaching Petrovsky Ostrov he stopped completely
exhausted, turned off the road into the bushes, sank down upon the grass and
instantly fell asleep.

In a morbid condition of the brain, dreams often have a singular actuality,

vividness, and extraordinary semblance of reality. At times monstrous images are
created, but the setting and the whole picture are so truthlike and filled with
details so delicate, so unexpectedly, but so artistically consistent, that the
dreamer, were he an artist like Pushkin or Turgenev even, could never have
invented them in the waking state. Such sick dreams always remain long in the
memory and make a powerful impression on the overwrought and deranged
nervous system.

Raskolnikov had a fearful dream. He dreamt he was back in his childhood in

the little town of his birth. He was a child about seven years old, walking into the
country with his father on the evening of a holiday. It was a grey and heavy day,
the country was exactly as he remembered it; indeed he recalled it far more vividly
in his dream than he had done in memory. The little town stood on a level flat as
bare as the hand, not even a willow near it; only in the far distance, a copse lay, a
dark blur on the very edge of the horizon. A few paces beyond the last market
garden stood a tavern, a big tavern, which had always aroused in him a feeling of
aversion, even of fear, when he walked by it with his father. There was always a
crowd there, always shouting, laughter and abuse, hideous hoarse singing and
often fighting. Drunken and horrible-looking figures were hanging about the
tavern. He used to cling close to his father, trembling all over when he met them.
Near the tavern the road became a dusty track, the dust of which was always black.
It was a winding road, and about a hundred paces further on, it turned to the right
to the graveyard. In the middle of the graveyard stood a stone church with a green
cupola where he used to go to mass two or three times a year with his father and
mother, when a service was held in memory of his grandmother, who had long
been dead, and whom he had never seen. On these occasions they used to take on
a white dish tied up in a table napkin a special sort of rice pudding with raisins
stuck in it in the shape of a cross. He loved that church, the old-fashioned,
unadorned ikons and the old priest with the shaking head. Near his grandmother’s
grave, which was marked by a stone, was the little grave of his younger brother
who had died at six months old. He did not remember him at all, but he had been
told about his little brother, and whenever he visited the graveyard he used
religiously and reverently to cross himself and to bow down and kiss the little
grave. And now he dreamt that he was walking with his father past the tavern on
the way to the graveyard; he was holding his father’s hand and looking with dread
at the tavern. A peculiar circumstance attracted his attention: there seemed to be
some kind of festivity going on, there were crowds of gaily dressed townspeople,
peasant women, their husbands, and riff-raff of all sorts, all singing and all more
or less drunk. Near the entrance of the tavern stood a cart, but a strange cart. It
was one of those big carts usually drawn by heavy cart-horses and laden with
casks of wine or other heavy goods. He always liked looking at those great cart-
horses, with their long manes, thick legs, and slow even pace, drawing along a
perfect mountain with no appearance of effort, as though it were easier going with
a load than without it. But now, strange to say, in the shafts of such a cart he saw a
thin little sorrel beast, one of those peasants’ nags which he had often seen
straining their utmost under a heavy load of wood or hay, especially when the
wheels were stuck in the mud or in a rut. And the peasants would beat them so
cruelly, sometimes even about the nose and eyes, and he felt so sorry, so sorry for
them that he almost cried, and his mother always used to take him away from the
window. All of a sudden there was a great uproar of shouting, singing and the
balalaïka, and from the tavern a number of big and very drunken peasants came
out, wearing red and blue shirts and coats thrown over their shoulders.

“Get in, get in!” shouted one of them, a young thick-necked peasant with a
fleshy face red as a carrot. “I’ll take you all, get in!”

But at once there was an outbreak of laughter and exclamations in the crowd.
“Take us all with a beast like that!”
“Why, Mikolka, are you crazy to put a nag like that in such a cart?”

“And this mare is twenty if she is a day, mates!”

“Get in, I’ll take you all,” Mikolka shouted again, leaping first into the cart,
seizing the reins and standing straight up in front. “The bay has gone with
Matvey,” he shouted from the cart —“and this brute, mates, is just breaking my
heart, I feel as if I could kill her. She’s just eating her head off. Get in, I tell you! I’ll
make her gallop! She’ll gallop!” and he picked up the whip, preparing himself with
relish to flog the little mare.
“Get in! Come along!” The crowd laughed. “D’you hear, she’ll gallop!”
“Gallop indeed! She has not had a gallop in her for the last ten years!”

“She’ll jog along!”

“Don’t you mind her, mates, bring a whip each of you, get ready!”
“All right! Give it to her!”

They all clambered into Mikolka’s cart, laughing and making jokes. Six men
got in and there was still room for more. They hauled in a fat, rosy-cheeked
woman. She was dressed in red cotton, in a pointed, beaded headdress and thick
leather shoes; she was cracking nuts and laughing. The crowd round them was
laughing too and indeed, how could they help laughing? That wretched nag was to
drag all the cartload of them at a gallop! Two young fellows in the cart were just
getting whips ready to help Mikolka. With the cry of “now,” the mare tugged with
all her might, but far from galloping, could scarcely move forward; she struggled
with her legs, gasping and shrinking from the blows of the three whips which were
showered upon her like hail. The laughter in the cart and in the crowd was
redoubled, but Mikolka flew into a rage and furiously thrashed the mare, as
though he supposed she really could gallop.

“Let me get in, too, mates,” shouted a young man in the crowd whose appetite
was aroused.

“Get in, all get in,” cried Mikolka, “she will draw you all. I’ll beat her to
death!” And he thrashed and thrashed at the mare, beside himself with fury.

“Father, father,” he cried, “father, what are they doing? Father, they are
beating the poor horse!”
“Come along, come along!” said his father. “They are drunken and foolish,
they are in fun; come away, don’t look!” and he tried to draw him away, but he
tore himself away from his hand, and, beside himself with horror, ran to the horse.
The poor beast was in a bad way. She was gasping, standing still, then tugging
again and almost falling.
“Beat her to death,” cried Mikolka, “it’s come to that. I’ll do for her!”
“What are you about, are you a Christian, you devil?” shouted an old man in
the crowd.
“Did anyone ever see the like? A wretched nag like that pulling such a
cartload,” said another.
“You’ll kill her,” shouted the third.
“Don’t meddle! It’s my property, I’ll do what I choose. Get in, more of you!
Get in, all of you! I will have her go at a gallop! …”
All at once laughter broke into a roar and covered everything: the mare,
roused by the shower of blows, began feebly kicking. Even the old man could not
help smiling. To think of a wretched little beast like that trying to kick!

Two lads in the crowd snatched up whips and ran to the mare to beat her
about the ribs. One ran each side.

“Hit her in the face, in the eyes, in the eyes,” cried Mikolka.
 “Give us a song, mates,” shouted someone in the cart and everyone in the cart
joined in a riotous song, jingling a tambourine and whistling. The woman went on
cracking nuts and laughing.
. . . He ran beside the mare, ran in front of her, saw her being whipped across
the eyes, right in the eyes! He was crying, he felt choking, his tears were
streaming. One of the men gave him a cut with the whip across the face, he did not
feel it. Wringing his hands and screaming, he rushed up to the grey-headed old
man with the grey beard, who was shaking his head in disapproval. One woman
seized him by the hand and would have taken him away, but he tore himself from
her and ran back to the mare. She was almost at the last gasp, but began kicking
once more.
“I’ll teach you to kick,” Mikolka shouted ferociously. He threw down the whip,
bent forward and picked up from the bottom of the cart a long, thick shaft, he took
hold of one end with both hands and with an effort brandished it over the mare.
“He’ll crush her,” was shouted round him. “He’ll kill her!”

“It’s my property,” shouted Mikolka and brought the shaft down with a
swinging blow. There was a sound of a heavy thud.

“Thrash her, thrash her! Why have you stopped?” shouted voices in the
crowd.

And Mikolka swung the shaft a second time and it fell a second time on the
spine of the luckless mare. She sank back on her haunches, but lurched forward
and tugged forward with all her force, tugged first on one side and then on the
other, trying to move the cart. But the six whips were attacking her in all
directions, and the shaft was raised again and fell upon her a third time, then a
fourth, with heavy measured blows. Mikolka was in a fury that he could not kill
her at one blow.
“She’s a tough one,” was shouted in the crowd.

“She’ll fall in a minute, mates, there will soon be an end of her,” said an
admiring spectator in the crowd.
“Fetch an axe to her! Finish her off,” shouted a third.

“I’ll show you! Stand off,” Mikolka screamed frantically; he threw down the
shaft, stooped down in the cart and picked up an iron crowbar. “Look out,” he
shouted, and with all his might he dealt a stunning blow at the poor mare. The
blow fell; the mare staggered, sank back, tried to pull, but the bar fell again with a
swinging blow on her back and she fell on the ground like a log.

“Finish her off,” shouted Mikolka and he leapt beside himself, out of the cart.
Several young men, also flushed with drink, seized anything they could come
across — whips, sticks, poles, and ran to the dying mare. Mikolka stood on one
side and began dealing random blows with the crowbar. The mare stretched out
her head, drew a long breath and died.
“You butchered her,” someone shouted in the crowd.

“Why wouldn’t she gallop then?”

“My property!” shouted Mikolka, with bloodshot eyes, brandishing the bar in
his hands. He stood as though regretting that he had nothing more to beat.
“No mistake about it, you are not a Christian,” many voices were shouting in
the crowd.

But the poor boy, beside himself, made his way, screaming, through the
crowd to the sorrel nag, put his arms round her bleeding dead head and kissed it,
kissed the eyes and kissed the lips. . . . Then he jumped up and flew in a frenzy
with his little fists out at Mikolka. At that instant his father, who had been running
after him, snatched him up and carried him out of the crowd.
“Come along, come! Let us go home,” he said to him.

“Father! Why did they . . . kill . . . the poor horse!” he sobbed, but his voice
broke and the words came in shrieks from his panting chest.

“They are drunk. . . . They are brutal . . . it’s not our business!” said his father.
He put his arms round his father but he felt choked, choked. He tried to draw a
breath, to cry out — and woke up.

He waked up, gasping for breath, his hair soaked with perspiration, and stood
up in terror.
“Thank God, that was only a dream,” he said, sitting down under a tree and
drawing deep breaths. “But what is it? Is it some fever coming on? Such a hideous
dream!”
He felt utterly broken: darkness and confusion were in his soul. He rested his
elbows on his knees and leaned his head on his hands.

“Good God!” he cried, “can it be, can it be, that I shall really take an axe, that I
shall strike her on the head, split her skull open . . . that I shall tread in the sticky
warm blood, break the lock, steal and tremble; hide, all spattered in the blood . . .
with the axe. . . . Good God, can it be?”

He was shaking like a leaf as he said this.

“But why am I going on like this?” he continued, sitting up again, as it were in
profound amazement. “I knew that I could never bring myself to it, so what have I
been torturing myself for till now? Yesterday, yesterday, when I went to make that
. . . experiment, yesterday I realised completely that I could never bear to do it. . . .
Why am I going over it again, then? Why am I hesitating? As I came down the
stairs yesterday, I said myself that it was base, loathsome, vile, vile . . . the very
thought of it made me feel sick and filled me with horror.

“No, I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t do it! Granted, granted that there is no flaw in
all that reasoning, that all that I have concluded this last month is clear as day,
true as arithmetic. . . . My God! Anyway I couldn’t bring myself to it! I couldn’t do
it, I couldn’t do it! Why, why then am I still . . .?”

He rose to his feet, looked round in wonder as though surprised at finding

himself in this place, and went towards the bridge. He was pale, his eyes glowed,
he was exhausted in every limb, but he seemed suddenly to breathe more easily.
He felt he had cast off that fearful burden that had so long been weighing upon
him, and all at once there was a sense of relief and peace in his soul. “Lord,” he
prayed, “show me my path — I renounce that accursed . . . dream of mine.”

Crossing the bridge, he gazed quietly and calmly at the Neva, at the glowing
red sun setting in the glowing sky. In spite of his weakness he was not conscious of
fatigue. It was as though an abscess that had been forming for a month past in his
heart had suddenly broken. Freedom, freedom! He was free from that spell, that
sorcery, that obsession!

Later on, when he recalled that time and all that happened to him during
those days, minute by minute, point by point, he was superstitiously impressed by
one circumstance, which, though in itself not very exceptional, always seemed to
him afterwards the predestined turning-point of his fate. He could never
understand and explain to himself why, when he was tired and worn out, when it
would have been more convenient for him to go home by the shortest and most
direct way, he had returned by the Hay Market where he had no need to go. It was
obviously and quite unnecessarily out of his way, though not much so. It is true
that it happened to him dozens of times to return home without noticing what
streets he passed through. But why, he was always asking himself, why had such
an important, such a decisive and at the same time such an absolutely chance
meeting happened in the Hay Market (where he had moreover no reason to go) at
the very hour, the very minute of his life when he was just in the very mood and in
the very circumstances in which that meeting was able to exert the gravest and
most decisive influence on his whole destiny? As though it had been lying in wait
for him on purpose!

It was about nine o’clock when he crossed the Hay Market. At the tables and
the barrows, at the booths and the shops, all the market people were closing their
establishments or clearing away and packing up their wares and, like their
customers, were going home. Rag pickers and costermongers of all kinds were
crowding round the taverns in the dirty and stinking courtyards of the Hay
Market. Raskolnikov particularly liked this place and the neighbouring alleys,
when he wandered aimlessly in the streets. Here his rags did not attract
contemptuous attention, and one could walk about in any attire without
scandalising people. At the corner of an alley a huckster and his wife had two
tables set out with tapes, thread, cotton handkerchiefs, etc. They, too, had got up
to go home, but were lingering in conversation with a friend, who had just come
up to them. This friend was Lizaveta Ivanovna, or, as everyone called her,
Lizaveta, the younger sister of the old pawnbroker, Alyona Ivanovna, whom
Raskolnikov had visited the previous day to pawn his watch and make his
experiment. . . . He already knew all about Lizaveta and she knew him a little too.
She was a single woman of about thirty-five, tall, clumsy, timid, submissive and
almost idiotic. She was a complete slave and went in fear and trembling of her
sister, who made her work day and night, and even beat her. She was standing
with a bundle before the huckster and his wife, listening earnestly and doubtfully.
They were talking of something with special warmth. The moment Raskolnikov
caught sight of her, he was overcome by a strange sensation as it were of intense
astonishment, though there was nothing astonishing about this meeting.

“You could make up your mind for yourself, Lizaveta Ivanovna,” the huckster
was saying aloud. “Come round to-morrow about seven. They will be here too.”
 “To-morrow?” said Lizaveta slowly and thoughtfully, as though unable to
make up her mind.

“Upon my word, what a fright you are in of Alyona Ivanovna,” gabbled the
huckster’s wife, a lively little woman. “I look at you, you are like some little babe.
And she is not your own sister either-nothing but a step-sister and what a hand
she keeps over you!”

“But this time don’t say a word to Alyona Ivanovna,” her husband
interrupted; “that’s my advice, but come round to us without asking. It will be
worth your while. Later on your sister herself may have a notion.”

“Am I to come?”

“About seven o’clock to-morrow. And they will be here. You will be able to
decide for yourself.”

“And we’ll have a cup of tea,” added his wife.

“All right, I’ll come,” said Lizaveta, still pondering, and she began slowly
moving away.

Raskolnikov had just passed and heard no more. He passed softly, unnoticed,
trying not to miss a word. His first amazement was followed by a thrill of horror,
like a shiver running down his spine. He had learnt, he had suddenly quite
unexpectedly learnt, that the next day at seven o’clock Lizaveta, the old woman’s
sister and only companion, would be away from home and that therefore at seven
o’clock precisely the old woman would be left alone.

He was only a few steps from his lodging. He went in like a man condemned
to death. He thought of nothing and was incapable of thinking; but he felt
suddenly in his whole being that he had no more freedom of thought, no will, and
that everything was suddenly and irrevocably decided.

Certainly, if he had to wait whole years for a suitable opportunity, he could

not reckon on a more certain step towards the success of the plan than that which
had just presented itself. In any case, it would have been difficult to find out
beforehand and with certainty, with greater exactness and less risk, and without
dangerous inquiries and investigations, that next day at a certain time an old
woman, on whose life an attempt was contemplated, would be at home and
entirely alone.
 CHAPTER VI

Later on Raskolnikov happened to find out why the huckster and his wife had
invited Lizaveta. It was a very ordinary matter and there was nothing exceptional
about it. A family who had come to the town and been reduced to poverty were
selling their household goods and clothes, all women’s things. As the things would
have fetched little in the market, they were looking for a dealer. This was
Lizaveta’s business. She undertook such jobs and was frequently employed, as she
was very honest and always fixed a fair price and stuck to it. She spoke as a rule
little and, as we have said already, she was very submissive and timid.
But Raskolnikov had become superstitious of late. The traces of superstition
remained in him long after, and were almost ineradicable. And in all this he was
always afterwards disposed to see something strange and mysterious, as it were,
the presence of some peculiar influences and coincidences. In the previous winter
a student he knew called Pokorev, who had left for Harkov, had chanced in
conversation to give him the address of Alyona Ivanovna, the old pawnbroker, in
case he might want to pawn anything. For a long while he did not go to her, for he
had lessons and managed to get along somehow. Six weeks ago he had
remembered the address; he had two articles that could be pawned: his father’s
old silver watch and a little gold ring with three red stones, a present from his
sister at parting. He decided to take the ring. When he found the old woman he
had felt an insurmountable repulsion for her at the first glance, though he knew
nothing special about her. He got two roubles from her and went into a miserable
little tavern on his way home. He asked for tea, sat down and sank into deep
thought. A strange idea was pecking at his brain like a chicken in the egg, and
very, very much absorbed him.
Almost beside him at the next table there was sitting a student, whom he did
not know and had never seen, and with him a young officer. They had played a
game of billiards and began drinking tea. All at once he heard the student mention
to the officer the pawnbroker Alyona Ivanovna and give him her address. This of
itself seemed strange to Raskolnikov; he had just come from her and here at once
he heard her name. Of course it was a chance, but he could not shake off a very
extraordinary impression, and here someone seemed to be speaking expressly for
him; the student began telling his friend various details about Alyona Ivanovna.
 “She is first-rate,” he said. “You can always get money from her. She is as rich
as a Jew, she can give you five thousand roubles at a time and she is not above
taking a pledge for a rouble. Lots of our fellows have had dealings with her. But
she is an awful old harpy . . . .”
And he began describing how spiteful and uncertain she was, how if you were
only a day late with your interest the pledge was lost; how she gave a quarter of
the value of an article and took five and even seven percent a month on it and so
on. The student chattered on, saying that she had a sister Lizaveta, whom the
wretched little creature was continually beating, and kept in complete bondage
like a small child, though Lizaveta was at least six feet high.
“There’s a phenomenon for you,” cried the student and he laughed.
They began talking about Lizaveta. The student spoke about her with a
peculiar relish and was continually laughing and the officer listened with great
interest and asked him to send Lizaveta to do some mending for him. Raskolnikov
did not miss a word and learned everything about her. Lizaveta was younger than
the old woman and was her half-sister, being the child of a different mother. She
was thirty-five. She worked day and night for her sister, and besides doing the
cooking and the washing, she did sewing and worked as a charwoman and gave
her sister all she earned. She did not dare to accept an order or job of any kind
without her sister’s permission. The old woman had already made her will, and
Lizaveta knew of it, and by this will she would not get a farthing; nothing but the
movables, chairs and so on; all the money was left to a monastery in the province
of N— — that prayers might be said for her in perpetuity. Lizaveta was of lower
rank than her sister, unmarried and awfully uncouth in appearance, remarkably
tall with long feet that looked as if they were bent outwards. She always wore
battered goatskin shoes, and was clean in her person. What the student expressed
most surprise and amusement about was the fact that Lizaveta was continually
with child.

“But you say she is hideous?” observed the officer.

“Yes, she is so dark-skinned and looks like a soldier dressed up, but you know
she is not at all hideous. She has such a good-natured face and eyes. Strikingly so.
And the proof of it is that lots of people are attracted by her. She is such a soft,
gentle creature, ready to put up with anything, always willing, willing to do
anything. And her smile is really very sweet.”
 “You seem to find her attractive yourself,” laughed the officer.

“From her queerness. No, I’ll tell you what. I could kill that damned old
woman and make off with her money, I assure you, without the faintest
conscience-prick,” the student added with warmth. The officer laughed again
while Raskolnikov shuddered. How strange it was!

“Listen, I want to ask you a serious question,” the student said hotly. “I was
joking of course, but look here; on one side we have a stupid, senseless, worthless,
spiteful, ailing, horrid old woman, not simply useless but doing actual mischief,
who has not an idea what she is living for herself, and who will die in a day or two
in any case. You understand? You understand?”

“Yes, yes, I understand,” answered the officer, watching his excited

companion attentively.
“Well, listen then. On the other side, fresh young lives thrown away for want
of help and by thousands, on every side! A hundred thousand good deeds could be
done and helped, on that old woman’s money which will be buried in a monastery!
Hundreds, thousands perhaps, might be set on the right path; dozens of families
saved from destitution, from ruin, from vice, from the Lock hospitals — and all
with her money. Kill her, take her money and with the help of it devote oneself to
the service of humanity and the good of all. What do you think, would not one tiny
crime be wiped out by thousands of good deeds? For one life thousands would be
saved from corruption and decay. One death, and a hundred lives in exchange —
it’s simple arithmetic! Besides, what value has the life of that sickly, stupid, ill-
natured old woman in the balance of existence! No more than the life of a louse, of
a black-beetle, less in fact because the old woman is doing harm. She is wearing
out the lives of others; the other day she bit Lizaveta’s finger out of spite; it almost
had to be amputated.”
“Of course she does not deserve to live,” remarked the officer, “but there it is,
it’s nature.”
“Oh, well, brother, but we have to correct and direct nature, and, but for that,
we should drown in an ocean of prejudice. But for that, there would never have
been a single great man. They talk of duty, conscience — I don’t want to say
anything against duty and conscience; — but the point is, what do we mean by
them. Stay, I have another question to ask you. Listen!”
 “No, you stay, I’ll ask you a question. Listen!”
“Well?”
“You are talking and speechifying away, but tell me, would you kill the old
woman yourself?”
“Of course not! I was only arguing the justice of it. . . . It’s nothing to do with
me . . . .”
“But I think, if you would not do it yourself, there’s no justice about it. . . . Let
us have another game.”
Raskolnikov was violently agitated. Of course, it was all ordinary youthful talk
and thought, such as he had often heard before in different forms and on different
themes. But why had he happened to hear such a discussion and such ideas at the
very moment when his own brain was just conceiving . . . the very same ideas?
And why, just at the moment when he had brought away the embryo of his idea
from the old woman had he dropped at once upon a conversation about her? This
coincidence always seemed strange to him. This trivial talk in a tavern had an
immense influence on him in his later action; as though there had really been in it
something preordained, some guiding hint . . . .

*****
On returning from the Hay Market he flung himself on the sofa and sat for a
whole hour without stirring. Meanwhile it got dark; he had no candle and, indeed,
it did not occur to him to light up. He could never recollect whether he had been
thinking about anything at that time. At last he was conscious of his former fever
and shivering, and he realised with relief that he could lie down on the sofa. Soon
heavy, leaden sleep came over him, as it were crushing him.
He slept an extraordinarily long time and without dreaming. Nastasya,
coming into his room at ten o’clock the next morning, had difficulty in rousing
him. She brought him in tea and bread. The tea was again the second brew and
again in her own tea-pot.

“My goodness, how he sleeps!” she cried indignantly. “And he is always

asleep.”

He got up with an effort. His head ached, he stood up, took a turn in his
garret and sank back on the sofa again.
 “Going to sleep again,” cried Nastasya. “Are you ill, eh?”
He made no reply.

“Do you want some tea?”

“Afterwards,” he said with an effort, closing his eyes again and turning to the
wall.

Nastasya stood over him.

“Perhaps he really is ill,” she said, turned and went out. She came in again at
two o’clock with soup. He was lying as before. The tea stood untouched. Nastasya
felt positively offended and began wrathfully rousing him.

“Why are you lying like a log?” she shouted, looking at him with repulsion.
He got up, and sat down again, but said nothing and stared at the floor.
“Are you ill or not?” asked Nastasya and again received no answer. “You’d
better go out and get a breath of air,” she said after a pause. “Will you eat it or
not?”

“Afterwards,” he said weakly. “You can go.”

And he motioned her out.
She remained a little longer, looked at him with compassion and went out.

A few minutes afterwards, he raised his eyes and looked for a long while at the
tea and the soup. Then he took the bread, took up a spoon and began to eat.

He ate a little, three or four spoonfuls, without appetite, as it were

mechanically. His head ached less. After his meal he stretched himself on the sofa
again, but now he could not sleep; he lay without stirring, with his face in the
pillow. He was haunted by day-dreams and such strange day-dreams; in one, that
kept recurring, he fancied that he was in Africa, in Egypt, in some sort of oasis.
The caravan was resting, the camels were peacefully lying down; the palms stood
all around in a complete circle; all the party were at dinner. But he was drinking
water from a spring which flowed gurgling close by. And it was so cool, it was
wonderful, wonderful, blue, cold water running among the parti-coloured stones
and over the clean sand which glistened here and there like gold. . . . Suddenly he
heard a clock strike. He started, roused himself, raised his head, looked out of the
window, and seeing how late it was, suddenly jumped up wide awake as though
someone had pulled him off the sofa. He crept on tiptoe to the door, stealthily
opened it and began listening on the staircase. His heart beat terribly. But all was
quiet on the stairs as if everyone was asleep. . . . It seemed to him strange and
monstrous that he could have slept in such forgetfulness from the previous day
and had done nothing, had prepared nothing yet. . . . And meanwhile perhaps it
had struck six. And his drowsiness and stupefaction were followed by an
extraordinary, feverish, as it were distracted haste. But the preparations to be
made were few. He concentrated all his energies on thinking of everything and
forgetting nothing; and his heart kept beating and thumping so that he could
hardly breathe. First he had to make a noose and sew it into his overcoat — a work
of a moment. He rummaged under his pillow and picked out amongst the linen
stuffed away under it, a worn out, old unwashed shirt. From its rags he tore a long
strip, a couple of inches wide and about sixteen inches long. He folded this strip in
two, took off his wide, strong summer overcoat of some stout cotton material (his
only outer garment) and began sewing the two ends of the rag on the inside, under
the left armhole. His hands shook as he sewed, but he did it successfully so that
nothing showed outside when he put the coat on again. The needle and thread he
had got ready long before and they lay on his table in a piece of paper. As for the
noose, it was a very ingenious device of his own; the noose was intended for the
axe. It was impossible for him to carry the axe through the street in his hands. And
if hidden under his coat he would still have had to support it with his hand, which
would have been noticeable. Now he had only to put the head of the axe in the
noose, and it would hang quietly under his arm on the inside. Putting his hand in
his coat pocket, he could hold the end of the handle all the way, so that it did not
swing; and as the coat was very full, a regular sack in fact, it could not be seen
from outside that he was holding something with the hand that was in the pocket.
This noose, too, he had designed a fortnight before.
When he had finished with this, he thrust his hand into a little opening
between his sofa and the floor, fumbled in the left corner and drew out the pledge,
which he had got ready long before and hidden there. This pledge was, however,
only a smoothly planed piece of wood the size and thickness of a silver cigarette
case. He picked up this piece of wood in one of his wanderings in a courtyard
where there was some sort of a workshop. Afterwards he had added to the wood a
thin smooth piece of iron, which he had also picked up at the same time in the
street. Putting the iron which was a little the smaller on the piece of wood, he
fastened them very firmly, crossing and re-crossing the thread round them; then
wrapped them carefully and daintily in clean white paper and tied up the parcel so
that it would be very difficult to untie it. This was in order to divert the attention
of the old woman for a time, while she was trying to undo the knot, and so to gain
a moment. The iron strip was added to give weight, so that the woman might not
guess the first minute that the “thing” was made of wood. All this had been stored
by him beforehand under the sofa. He had only just got the pledge out when he
heard someone suddenly about in the yard.

“It struck six long ago.”

“Long ago! My God!”

He rushed to the door, listened, caught up his hat and began to descend his
thirteen steps cautiously, noiselessly, like a cat. He had still the most important
thing to do — to steal the axe from the kitchen. That the deed must be done with
an axe he had decided long ago. He had also a pocket pruning-knife, but he could
not rely on the knife and still less on his own strength, and so resolved finally on
the axe. We may note in passing, one peculiarity in regard to all the final
resolutions taken by him in the matter; they had one strange characteristic: the
more final they were, the more hideous and the more absurd they at once became
in his eyes. In spite of all his agonising inward struggle, he never for a single
instant all that time could believe in the carrying out of his plans.
And, indeed, if it had ever happened that everything to the least point could
have been considered and finally settled, and no uncertainty of any kind had
remained, he would, it seems, have renounced it all as something absurd,
monstrous and impossible. But a whole mass of unsettled points and uncertainties
remained. As for getting the axe, that trifling business cost him no anxiety, for
nothing could be easier. Nastasya was continually out of the house, especially in
the evenings; she would run in to the neighbours or to a shop, and always left the
door ajar. It was the one thing the landlady was always scolding her about. And so,
when the time came, he would only have to go quietly into the kitchen and to take
the axe, and an hour later (when everything was over) go in and put it back again.
But these were doubtful points. Supposing he returned an hour later to put it back,
and Nastasya had come back and was on the spot. He would of course have to go
by and wait till she went out again. But supposing she were in the meantime to
miss the axe, look for it, make an outcry — that would mean suspicion or at least
grounds for suspicion.

But those were all trifles which he had not even begun to consider, and indeed
he had no time. He was thinking of the chief point, and put off trifling details,
until he could believe in it all. But that seemed utterly unattainable. So it seemed
to himself at least. He could not imagine, for instance, that he would sometime
leave off thinking, get up and simply go there. . . . Even his late experiment (i.e. his
visit with the object of a final survey of the place) was simply an attempt at an
experiment, far from being the real thing, as though one should say “come, let us
go and try it — why dream about it!”— and at once he had broken down and had
run away cursing, in a frenzy with himself. Meanwhile it would seem, as regards
the moral question, that his analysis was complete; his casuistry had become keen
as a razor, and he could not find rational objections in himself. But in the last
resort he simply ceased to believe in himself, and doggedly, slavishly sought
arguments in all directions, fumbling for them, as though someone were forcing
and drawing him to it.
At first — long before indeed — he had been much occupied with one
question; why almost all crimes are so badly concealed and so easily detected, and
why almost all criminals leave such obvious traces? He had come gradually to
many different and curious conclusions, and in his opinion the chief reason lay
not so much in the material impossibility of concealing the crime, as in the
criminal himself. Almost every criminal is subject to a failure of will and reasoning
power by a childish and phenomenal heedlessness, at the very instant when
prudence and caution are most essential. It was his conviction that this eclipse of
reason and failure of will power attacked a man like a disease, developed gradually
and reached its highest point just before the perpetration of the crime, continued
with equal violence at the moment of the crime and for longer or shorter time
after, according to the individual case, and then passed off like any other disease.
The question whether the disease gives rise to the crime, or whether the crime
from its own peculiar nature is always accompanied by something of the nature of
disease, he did not yet feel able to decide.

When he reached these conclusions, he decided that in his own case there
could not be such a morbid reaction, that his reason and will would remain
unimpaired at the time of carrying out his design, for the simple reason that his
design was “not a crime . . . .” We will omit all the process by means of which he
arrived at this last conclusion; we have run too far ahead already. . . . We may add
only that the practical, purely material difficulties of the affair occupied a
secondary position in his mind. “One has but to keep all one’s will-power and
reason to deal with them, and they will all be overcome at the time when once one
has familiarised oneself with the minutest details of the business . . . .” But this
preparation had never been begun. His final decisions were what he came to trust
least, and when the hour struck, it all came to pass quite differently, as it were
accidentally and unexpectedly.

One trifling circumstance upset his calculations, before he had even left the
staircase. When he reached the landlady’s kitchen, the door of which was open as
usual, he glanced cautiously in to see whether, in Nastasya’s absence, the landlady
herself was there, or if not, whether the door to her own room was closed, so that
she might not peep out when he went in for the axe. But what was his amazement
when he suddenly saw that Nastasya was not only at home in the kitchen, but was
occupied there, taking linen out of a basket and hanging it on a line. Seeing him,
she left off hanging the clothes, turned to him and stared at him all the time he
was passing. He turned away his eyes, and walked past as though he noticed
nothing. But it was the end of everything; he had not the axe! He was
overwhelmed.

“What made me think,” he reflected, as he went under the gateway, “what

made me think that she would be sure not to be at home at that moment! Why,
why, why did I assume this so certainly?”
He was crushed and even humiliated. He could have laughed at himself in his
anger. . . . A dull animal rage boiled within him.

He stood hesitating in the gateway. To go into the street, to go a walk for

appearance’ sake was revolting; to go back to his room, even more revolting. “And
what a chance I have lost for ever!” he muttered, standing aimlessly in the
gateway, just opposite the porter’s little dark room, which was also open. Suddenly
he started. From the porter’s room, two paces away from him, something shining
under the bench to the right caught his eye. . . . He looked about him — nobody.
He approached the room on tiptoe, went down two steps into it and in a faint
voice called the porter. “Yes, not at home! Somewhere near though, in the yard,
for the door is wide open.” He dashed to the axe (it was an axe) and pulled it out
from under the bench, where it lay between two chunks of wood; at once, before
going out, he made it fast in the noose, he thrust both hands into his pockets and
went out of the room; no one had noticed him! “When reason fails, the devil
helps!” he thought with a strange grin. This chance raised his spirits
extraordinarily.
He walked along quietly and sedately, without hurry, to avoid awakening
suspicion. He scarcely looked at the passers-by, tried to escape looking at their
faces at all, and to be as little noticeable as possible. Suddenly he thought of his
hat. “Good heavens! I had the money the day before yesterday and did not get a
cap to wear instead!” A curse rose from the bottom of his soul.

Glancing out of the corner of his eye into a shop, he saw by a clock on the wall
that it was ten minutes past seven. He had to make haste and at the same time to
go someway round, so as to approach the house from the other side . . . .
When he had happened to imagine all this beforehand, he had sometimes
thought that he would be very much afraid. But he was not very much afraid now,
was not afraid at all, indeed. His mind was even occupied by irrelevant matters,
but by nothing for long. As he passed the Yusupov garden, he was deeply absorbed
in considering the building of great fountains, and of their refreshing effect on the
atmosphere in all the squares. By degrees he passed to the conviction that if the
summer garden were extended to the field of Mars, and perhaps joined to the
garden of the Mihailovsky Palace, it would be a splendid thing and a great benefit
to the town. Then he was interested by the question why in all great towns men
are not simply driven by necessity, but in some peculiar way inclined to live in
those parts of the town where there are no gardens nor fountains; where there is
most dirt and smell and all sorts of nastiness. Then his own walks through the Hay
Market came back to his mind, and for a moment he waked up to reality. “What
nonsense!” he thought, “better think of nothing at all!”

“So probably men led to execution clutch mentally at every object that meets
them on the way,” flashed through his mind, but simply flashed, like lightning; he
made haste to dismiss this thought. . . . And by now he was near; here was the
house, here was the gate. Suddenly a clock somewhere struck once. “What! can it
be half-past seven? Impossible, it must be fast!”
Luckily for him, everything went well again at the gates. At that very moment,
as though expressly for his benefit, a huge waggon of hay had just driven in at the
gate, completely screening him as he passed under the gateway, and the waggon
had scarcely had time to drive through into the yard, before he had slipped in a
flash to the right. On the other side of the waggon he could hear shouting and
quarrelling; but no one noticed him and no one met him. Many windows looking
into that huge quadrangular yard were open at that moment, but he did not raise
his head — he had not the strength to. The staircase leading to the old woman’s
room was close by, just on the right of the gateway. He was already on the stairs
....

Drawing a breath, pressing his hand against his throbbing heart, and once
more feeling for the axe and setting it straight, he began softly and cautiously
ascending the stairs, listening every minute. But the stairs, too, were quite
deserted; all the doors were shut; he met no one. One flat indeed on the first floor
was wide open and painters were at work in it, but they did not glance at him. He
stood still, thought a minute and went on. “Of course it would be better if they had
not been here, but . . . it’s two storeys above them.”
And there was the fourth storey, here was the door, here was the flat opposite,
the empty one. The flat underneath the old woman’s was apparently empty also;
the visiting card nailed on the door had been torn off — they had gone away! . . .
He was out of breath. For one instant the thought floated through his mind “Shall
I go back?” But he made no answer and began listening at the old woman’s door, a
dead silence. Then he listened again on the staircase, listened long and intently . . .
then looked about him for the last time, pulled himself together, drew himself up,
and once more tried the axe in the noose. “Am I very pale?” he wondered. “Am I
not evidently agitated? She is mistrustful. . . . Had I better wait a little longer . . .
till my heart leaves off thumping?”

But his heart did not leave off. On the contrary, as though to spite him, it
throbbed more and more violently. He could stand it no longer, he slowly put out
his hand to the bell and rang. Half a minute later he rang again, more loudly.

No answer. To go on ringing was useless and out of place. The old woman
was, of course, at home, but she was suspicious and alone. He had some
knowledge of her habits . . . and once more he put his ear to the door. Either his
senses were peculiarly keen (which it is difficult to suppose), or the sound was
really very distinct. Anyway, he suddenly heard something like the cautious touch
of a hand on the lock and the rustle of a skirt at the very door. someone was
standing stealthily close to the lock and just as he was doing on the outside was
secretly listening within, and seemed to have her ear to the door. . . . He moved a
little on purpose and muttered something aloud that he might not have the
appearance of hiding, then rang a third time, but quietly, soberly, and without
impatience, Recalling it afterwards, that moment stood out in his mind vividly,
distinctly, for ever; he could not make out how he had had such cunning, for his
mind was as it were clouded at moments and he was almost unconscious of his
body. . . . An instant later he heard the latch unfastened.
 CHAPTER VII

The door was as before opened a tiny crack, and again two sharp and suspicious
eyes stared at him out of the darkness. Then Raskolnikov lost his head and nearly
made a great mistake.

Fearing the old woman would be frightened by their being alone, and not
hoping that the sight of him would disarm her suspicions, he took hold of the door
and drew it towards him to prevent the old woman from attempting to shut it
again. Seeing this she did not pull the door back, but she did not let go the handle
so that he almost dragged her out with it on to the stairs. Seeing that she was
standing in the doorway not allowing him to pass, he advanced straight upon her.
She stepped back in alarm, tried to say something, but seemed unable to speak
and stared with open eyes at him.

“Good evening, Alyona Ivanovna,” he began, trying to speak easily, but his
voice would not obey him, it broke and shook. “I have come . . . I have brought
something . . . but we’d better come in . . . to the light . . . .”

And leaving her, he passed straight into the room uninvited. The old woman
ran after him; her tongue was unloosed.

“Good heavens! What it is? Who is it? What do you want?”

“Why, Alyona Ivanovna, you know me . . . Raskolnikov . . . here, I brought you

the pledge I promised the other day …” And he held out the pledge.
The old woman glanced for a moment at the pledge, but at once stared in the
eyes of her uninvited visitor. She looked intently, maliciously and mistrustfully. A
minute passed; he even fancied something like a sneer in her eyes, as though she
had already guessed everything. He felt that he was losing his head, that he was
almost frightened, so frightened that if she were to look like that and not say a
word for another half minute, he thought he would have run away from her.

“Why do you look at me as though you did not know me?” he said suddenly,
also with malice. “Take it if you like, if not I’ll go elsewhere, I am in a hurry.”
He had not even thought of saying this, but it was suddenly said of itself. The
old woman recovered herself, and her visitor’s resolute tone evidently restored her
confidence.
 “But why, my good sir, all of a minute. . . . What is it?” she asked, looking at
the pledge.
“The silver cigarette case; I spoke of it last time, you know.”
She held out her hand.

“But how pale you are, to be sure . . . and your hands are trembling too? Have
you been bathing, or what?”
“Fever,” he answered abruptly. “You can’t help getting pale . . . if you’ve
nothing to eat,” he added, with difficulty articulating the words.
His strength was failing him again. But his answer sounded like the truth; the
old woman took the pledge.
“What is it?” she asked once more, scanning Raskolnikov intently, and
weighing the pledge in her hand.

“A thing . . . cigarette case. . . . Silver. . . . Look at it.”

“It does not seem somehow like silver. . . . How he has wrapped it up!”
Trying to untie the string and turning to the window, to the light (all her
windows were shut, in spite of the stifling heat), she left him altogether for some
seconds and stood with her back to him. He unbuttoned his coat and freed the axe
from the noose, but did not yet take it out altogether, simply holding it in his right
hand under the coat. His hands were fearfully weak, he felt them every moment
growing more numb and more wooden. He was afraid he would let the axe slip
and fall. . . . A sudden giddiness came over him.
“But what has he tied it up like this for?” the old woman cried with vexation
and moved towards him.
He had not a minute more to lose. He pulled the axe quite out, swung it with
both arms, scarcely conscious of himself, and almost without effort, almost
mechanically, brought the blunt side down on her head. He seemed not to use his
own strength in this. But as soon as he had once brought the axe down, his
strength returned to him.

The old woman was as always bareheaded. Her thin, light hair, streaked with
grey, thickly smeared with grease, was plaited in a rat’s tail and fastened by a
broken horn comb which stood out on the nape of her neck. As she was so short,
the blow fell on the very top of her skull. She cried out, but very faintly, and
suddenly sank all of a heap on the floor, raising her hands to her head. In one
hand she still held “the pledge.” Then he dealt her another and another blow with
the blunt side and on the same spot. The blood gushed as from an overturned
glass, the body fell back. He stepped back, let it fall, and at once bent over her face;
she was dead. Her eyes seemed to be starting out of their sockets, the brow and
the whole face were drawn and contorted convulsively.

He laid the axe on the ground near the dead body and felt at once in her
pocket (trying to avoid the streaming body)— the same right-hand pocket from
which she had taken the key on his last visit. He was in full possession of his
faculties, free from confusion or giddiness, but his hands were still trembling. He
remembered afterwards that he had been particularly collected and careful, trying
all the time not to get smeared with blood. . . . He pulled out the keys at once, they
were all, as before, in one bunch on a steel ring. He ran at once into the bedroom
with them. It was a very small room with a whole shrine of holy images. Against
the other wall stood a big bed, very clean and covered with a silk patchwork
wadded quilt. Against a third wall was a chest of drawers. Strange to say, so soon
as he began to fit the keys into the chest, so soon as he heard their jingling, a
convulsive shudder passed over him. He suddenly felt tempted again to give it all
up and go away. But that was only for an instant; it was too late to go back. He
positively smiled at himself, when suddenly another terrifying idea occurred to his
mind. He suddenly fancied that the old woman might be still alive and might
recover her senses. Leaving the keys in the chest, he ran back to the body,
snatched up the axe and lifted it once more over the old woman, but did not bring
it down. There was no doubt that she was dead. Bending down and examining her
again more closely, he saw clearly that the skull was broken and even battered in
on one side. He was about to feel it with his finger, but drew back his hand and
indeed it was evident without that. Meanwhile there was a perfect pool of blood.
All at once he noticed a string on her neck; he tugged at it, but the string was
strong and did not snap and besides, it was soaked with blood. He tried to pull it
out from the front of the dress, but something held it and prevented its coming. In
his impatience he raised the axe again to cut the string from above on the body,
but did not dare, and with difficulty, smearing his hand and the axe in the blood,
after two minutes’ hurried effort, he cut the string and took it off without touching
the body with the axe; he was not mistaken — it was a purse. On the string were
two crosses, one of Cyprus wood and one of copper, and an image in silver filigree,
and with them a small greasy chamois leather purse with a steel rim and ring. The
purse was stuffed very full; Raskolnikov thrust it in his pocket without looking at
it, flung the crosses on the old woman’s body and rushed back into the bedroom,
this time taking the axe with him.
He was in terrible haste, he snatched the keys, and began trying them again.
But he was unsuccessful. They would not fit in the locks. It was not so much that
his hands were shaking, but that he kept making mistakes; though he saw for
instance that a key was not the right one and would not fit, still he tried to put it
in. Suddenly he remembered and realised that the big key with the deep notches,
which was hanging there with the small keys could not possibly belong to the chest
of drawers (on his last visit this had struck him), but to some strong box, and that
everything perhaps was hidden in that box. He left the chest of drawers, and at
once felt under the bedstead, knowing that old women usually keep boxes under
their beds. And so it was; there was a good-sized box under the bed, at least a yard
in length, with an arched lid covered with red leather and studded with steel nails.
The notched key fitted at once and unlocked it. At the top, under a white sheet,
was a coat of red brocade lined with hareskin; under it was a silk dress, then a
shawl and it seemed as though there was nothing below but clothes. The first thing
he did was to wipe his blood-stained hands on the red brocade. “It’s red, and on
red blood will be less noticeable,” the thought passed through his mind; then he
suddenly came to himself. “Good God, am I going out of my senses?” he thought
with terror.
But no sooner did he touch the clothes than a gold watch slipped from under
the fur coat. He made haste to turn them all over. There turned out to be various
articles made of gold among the clothes — probably all pledges, unredeemed or
waiting to be redeemed — bracelets, chains, ear-rings, pins and such things. Some
were in cases, others simply wrapped in newspaper, carefully and exactly folded,
and tied round with tape. Without any delay, he began filling up the pockets of his
trousers and overcoat without examining or undoing the parcels and cases; but he
had not time to take many . . . .
He suddenly heard steps in the room where the old woman lay. He stopped
short and was still as death. But all was quiet, so it must have been his fancy. All at
once he heard distinctly a faint cry, as though someone had uttered a low broken
moan. Then again dead silence for a minute or two. He sat squatting on his heels
by the box and waited holding his breath. Suddenly he jumped up, seized the axe
and ran out of the bedroom.
In the middle of the room stood Lizaveta with a big bundle in her arms. She
was gazing in stupefaction at her murdered sister, white as a sheet and seeming
not to have the strength to cry out. Seeing him run out of the bedroom, she began
faintly quivering all over, like a leaf, a shudder ran down her face; she lifted her
hand, opened her mouth, but still did not scream. She began slowly backing away
from him into the corner, staring intently, persistently at him, but still uttered no
sound, as though she could not get breath to scream. He rushed at her with the
axe; her mouth twitched piteously, as one sees babies’ mouths, when they begin to
be frightened, stare intently at what frightens them and are on the point of
screaming. And this hapless Lizaveta was so simple and had been so thoroughly
crushed and scared that she did not even raise a hand to guard her face, though
that was the most necessary and natural action at the moment, for the axe was
raised over her face. She only put up her empty left hand, but not to her face,
slowly holding it out before her as though motioning him away. The axe fell with
the sharp edge just on the skull and split at one blow all the top of the head. She
fell heavily at once. Raskolnikov completely lost his head, snatching up her
bundle, dropped it again and ran into the entry.
Fear gained more and more mastery over him, especially after this second,
quite unexpected murder. He longed to run away from the place as fast as
possible. And if at that moment he had been capable of seeing and reasoning more
correctly, if he had been able to realise all the difficulties of his position, the
hopelessness, the hideousness and the absurdity of it, if he could have understood
how many obstacles and, perhaps, crimes he had still to overcome or to commit, to
get out of that place and to make his way home, it is very possible that he would
have flung up everything, and would have gone to give himself up, and not from
fear, but from simple horror and loathing of what he had done. The feeling of
loathing especially surged up within him and grew stronger every minute. He
would not now have gone to the box or even into the room for anything in the
world.
But a sort of blankness, even dreaminess, had begun by degrees to take
possession of him; at moments he forgot himself, or rather, forgot what was of
importance, and caught at trifles. Glancing, however, into the kitchen and seeing a
bucket half full of water on a bench, he bethought him of washing his hands and
the axe. His hands were sticky with blood. He dropped the axe with the blade in
the water, snatched a piece of soap that lay in a broken saucer on the window, and
began washing his hands in the bucket. When they were clean, he took out the axe,
washed the blade and spent a long time, about three minutes, washing the wood
where there were spots of blood rubbing them with soap. Then he wiped it all with
some linen that was hanging to dry on a line in the kitchen and then he was a long
while attentively examining the axe at the window. There was no trace left on it,
only the wood was still damp. He carefully hung the axe in the noose under his
coat. Then as far as was possible, in the dim light in the kitchen, he looked over his
overcoat, his trousers and his boots. At the first glance there seemed to be nothing
but stains on the boots. He wetted the rag and rubbed the boots. But he knew he
was not looking thoroughly, that there might be something quite noticeable that
he was overlooking. He stood in the middle of the room, lost in thought. Dark
agonising ideas rose in his mind — the idea that he was mad and that at that
moment he was incapable of reasoning, of protecting himself, that he ought
perhaps to be doing something utterly different from what he was now doing.
“Good God!” he muttered “I must fly, fly,” and he rushed into the entry. But here a
shock of terror awaited him such as he had never known before.

He stood and gazed and could not believe his eyes: the door, the outer door
from the stairs, at which he had not long before waited and rung, was standing
unfastened and at least six inches open. No lock, no bolt, all the time, all that time!
The old woman had not shut it after him perhaps as a precaution. But, good God!
Why, he had seen Lizaveta afterwards! And how could he, how could he have
failed to reflect that she must have come in somehow! She could not have come
through the wall!
He dashed to the door and fastened the latch.

“But no, the wrong thing again! I must get away, get away . . . .”

He unfastened the latch, opened the door and began listening on the
staircase.
He listened a long time. Somewhere far away, it might be in the gateway, two
voices were loudly and shrilly shouting, quarrelling and scolding. “What are they
about?” He waited patiently. At last all was still, as though suddenly cut off; they
had separated. He was meaning to go out, but suddenly, on the floor below, a door
was noisily opened and someone began going downstairs humming a tune. “How
is it they all make such a noise?” flashed through his mind. Once more he closed
the door and waited. At last all was still, not a soul stirring. He was just taking a
step towards the stairs when he heard fresh footsteps.
The steps sounded very far off, at the very bottom of the stairs, but he
remembered quite clearly and distinctly that from the first sound he began for
some reason to suspect that this was someone coming there, to the fourth floor, to
the old woman. Why? Were the sounds somehow peculiar, significant? The steps
were heavy, even and unhurried. Now he had passed the first floor, now he was
mounting higher, it was growing more and more distinct! He could hear his heavy
breathing. And now the third storey had been reached. Coming here! And it
seemed to him all at once that he was turned to stone, that it was like a dream in
which one is being pursued, nearly caught and will be killed, and is rooted to the
spot and cannot even move one’s arms.

At last when the unknown was mounting to the fourth floor, he suddenly
started, and succeeded in slipping neatly and quickly back into the flat and closing
the door behind him. Then he took the hook and softly, noiselessly, fixed it in the
catch. Instinct helped him. When he had done this, he crouched holding his
breath, by the door. The unknown visitor was by now also at the door. They were
now standing opposite one another, as he had just before been standing with the
old woman, when the door divided them and he was listening.

The visitor panted several times. “He must be a big, fat man,” thought
Raskolnikov, squeezing the axe in his hand. It seemed like a dream indeed. The
visitor took hold of the bell and rang it loudly.
As soon as the tin bell tinkled, Raskolnikov seemed to be aware of something
moving in the room. For some seconds he listened quite seriously. The unknown
rang again, waited and suddenly tugged violently and impatiently at the handle of
the door. Raskolnikov gazed in horror at the hook shaking in its fastening, and in
blank terror expected every minute that the fastening would be pulled out. It
certainly did seem possible, so violently was he shaking it. He was tempted to hold
the fastening, but he might be aware of it. A giddiness came over him again. “I
shall fall down!” flashed through his mind, but the unknown began to speak and
he recovered himself at once.
 “What’s up? Are they asleep or murdered? D-damn them!” he bawled in a
thick voice, “Hey, Alyona Ivanovna, old witch! Lizaveta Ivanovna, hey, my beauty!
open the door! Oh, damn them! Are they asleep or what?”
And again, enraged, he tugged with all his might a dozen times at the bell. He
must certainly be a man of authority and an intimate acquaintance.

At this moment light hurried steps were heard not far off, on the stairs.
someone else was approaching. Raskolnikov had not heard them at first.
“You don’t say there’s no one at home,” the new-comer cried in a cheerful,
ringing voice, addressing the first visitor, who still went on pulling the bell. “Good
evening, Koch.”
“From his voice he must be quite young,” thought Raskolnikov.

“Who the devil can tell? I’ve almost broken the lock,” answered Koch. “But
how do you come to know me?

“Why! The day before yesterday I beat you three times running at billiards at
Gambrinus’.”

“Oh!”

“So they are not at home? That’s queer. It’s awfully stupid though. Where
could the old woman have gone? I’ve come on business.”

“Yes; and I have business with her, too.”

“Well, what can we do? Go back, I suppose, Aie — aie! And I was hoping to get
some money!” cried the young man.
“We must give it up, of course, but what did she fix this time for? The old
witch fixed the time for me to come herself. It’s out of my way. And where the
devil she can have got to, I can’t make out. She sits here from year’s end to year’s
end, the old hag; her legs are bad and yet here all of a sudden she is out for a
walk!”

“Hadn’t we better ask the porter?”

“What?”
“Where she’s gone and when she’ll be back.”

“Hm. . . . Damn it all! . . . We might ask. . . . But you know she never does go
anywhere.”
And he once more tugged at the door-handle.

“Damn it all. There’s nothing to be done, we must go!”

“Stay!” cried the young man suddenly. “Do you see how the door shakes if you
pull it?”
“Well?”

“That shows it’s not locked, but fastened with the hook! Do you hear how the
hook clanks?”
“Well?”

“Why, don’t you see? That proves that one of them is at home. If they were all
out, they would have locked the door from the outside with the key and not with
the hook from inside. There, do you hear how the hook is clanking? To fasten the
hook on the inside they must be at home, don’t you see. So there they are sitting
inside and don’t open the door!”

“Well! And so they must be!” cried Koch, astonished. “What are they about in
there?” And he began furiously shaking the door.

“Stay!” cried the young man again. “Don’t pull at it! There must be something
wrong. . . . Here, you’ve been ringing and pulling at the door and still they don’t
open! So either they’ve both fainted or …”
“What?”

“I tell you what. Let’s go fetch the porter, let him wake them up.”

“All right.”
Both were going down.

“Stay. You stop here while I run down for the porter.”

“What for?”
“Well, you’d better.”

“All right.”

“I’m studying the law you see! It’s evident, e-vi-dent there’s something wrong
here!” the young man cried hotly, and he ran downstairs.
 Koch remained. Once more he softly touched the bell which gave one tinkle,
then gently, as though reflecting and looking about him, began touching the door-
handle pulling it and letting it go to make sure once more that it was only fastened
by the hook. Then puffing and panting he bent down and began looking at the
keyhole: but the key was in the lock on the inside and so nothing could be seen.

Raskolnikov stood keeping tight hold of the axe. He was in a sort of delirium.
He was even making ready to fight when they should come in. While they were
knocking and talking together, the idea several times occurred to him to end it all
at once and shout to them through the door. Now and then he was tempted to
swear at them, to jeer at them, while they could not open the door! “Only make
haste!” was the thought that flashed through his mind.

“But what the devil is he about? …” Time was passing, one minute, and
another — no one came. Koch began to be restless.

“What the devil?” he cried suddenly and in impatience deserting his sentry
duty, he, too, went down, hurrying and thumping with his heavy boots on the
stairs. The steps died away.

“Good heavens! What am I to do?”

Raskolnikov unfastened the hook, opened the door — there was no sound.
Abruptly, without any thought at all, he went out, closing the door as thoroughly
as he could, and went downstairs.

He had gone down three flights when he suddenly heard a loud voice below —
where could he go! There was nowhere to hide. He was just going back to the flat.
“Hey there! Catch the brute!”

Somebody dashed out of a flat below, shouting, and rather fell than ran down
the stairs, bawling at the top of his voice.

“Mitka! Mitka! Mitka! Mitka! Mitka! Blast him!”

The shout ended in a shriek; the last sounds came from the yard; all was still.
But at the same instant several men talking loud and fast began noisily mounting
the stairs. There were three or four of them. He distinguished the ringing voice of
the young man. “They!”
Filled with despair he went straight to meet them, feeling “come what must!”
If they stopped him — all was lost; if they let him pass — all was lost too; they
would remember him. They were approaching; they were only a flight from him —
and suddenly deliverance! A few steps from him on the right, there was an empty
flat with the door wide open, the flat on the second floor where the painters had
been at work, and which, as though for his benefit, they had just left. It was they,
no doubt, who had just run down, shouting. The floor had only just been painted,
in the middle of the room stood a pail and a broken pot with paint and brushes. In
one instant he had whisked in at the open door and hidden behind the wall and
only in the nick of time; they had already reached the landing. Then they turned
and went on up to the fourth floor, talking loudly. He waited, went out on tiptoe
and ran down the stairs.
No one was on the stairs, nor in the gateway. He passed quickly through the
gateway and turned to the left in the street.

He knew, he knew perfectly well that at that moment they were at the flat,
that they were greatly astonished at finding it unlocked, as the door had just been
fastened, that by now they were looking at the bodies, that before another minute
had passed they would guess and completely realise that the murderer had just
been there, and had succeeded in hiding somewhere, slipping by them and
escaping. They would guess most likely that he had been in the empty flat, while
they were going upstairs. And meanwhile he dared not quicken his pace much,
though the next turning was still nearly a hundred yards away. “Should he slip
through some gateway and wait somewhere in an unknown street? No, hopeless!
Should he fling away the axe? Should he take a cab? Hopeless, hopeless!”
At last he reached the turning. He turned down it more dead than alive. Here
he was half way to safety, and he understood it; it was less risky because there was
a great crowd of people, and he was lost in it like a grain of sand. But all he had
suffered had so weakened him that he could scarcely move. Perspiration ran down
him in drops, his neck was all wet. “My word, he has been going it!” someone
shouted at him when he came out on the canal bank.

He was only dimly conscious of himself now, and the farther he went the
worse it was. He remembered however, that on coming out on to the canal bank,
he was alarmed at finding few people there and so being more conspicuous, and
he had thought of turning back. Though he was almost falling from fatigue, he
went a long way round so as to get home from quite a different direction.

He was not fully conscious when he passed through the gateway of his house!
he was already on the staircase before he recollected the axe. And yet he had a very
grave problem before him, to put it back and to escape observation as far as
possible in doing so. He was of course incapable of reflecting that it might perhaps
be far better not to restore the axe at all, but to drop it later on in somebody’s yard.
But it all happened fortunately, the door of the porter’s room was closed but not
locked, so that it seemed most likely that the porter was at home. But he had so
completely lost all power of reflection that he walked straight to the door and
opened it. If the porter had asked him, “What do you want?” he would perhaps
have simply handed him the axe. But again the porter was not at home, and he
succeeded in putting the axe back under the bench, and even covering it with the
chunk of wood as before. He met no one, not a soul, afterwards on the way to his
room; the landlady’s door was shut. When he was in his room, he flung himself on
the sofa just as he was — he did not sleep, but sank into blank forgetfulness. If
anyone had come into his room then, he would have jumped up at once and
screamed. Scraps and shreds of thoughts were simply swarming in his brain, but
he could not catch at one, he could not rest on one, in spite of all his efforts . . . .
 PART II

CHAPTER I

So he lay a very long while. Now and then he seemed to wake up, and at such
moments he noticed that it was far into the night, but it did not occur to him to get
up. At last he noticed that it was beginning to get light. He was lying on his back,
still dazed from his recent oblivion. Fearful, despairing cries rose shrilly from the
street, sounds which he heard every night, indeed, under his window after two
o’clock. They woke him up now.

“Ah! the drunken men are coming out of the taverns,” he thought, “it’s past
two o’clock,” and at once he leaped up, as though someone had pulled him from
the sofa.

“What! Past two o’clock!”

He sat down on the sofa — and instantly recollected everything! All at once, in
one flash, he recollected everything.

For the first moment he thought he was going mad. A dreadful chill came over
him; but the chill was from the fever that had begun long before in his sleep. Now
he was suddenly taken with violent shivering, so that his teeth chattered and all
his limbs were shaking. He opened the door and began listening — everything in
the house was asleep. With amazement he gazed at himself and everything in the
room around him, wondering how he could have come in the night before without
fastening the door, and have flung himself on the sofa without undressing, without
even taking his hat off. It had fallen off and was lying on the floor near his pillow.
“If anyone had come in, what would he have thought? That I’m drunk but …”

He rushed to the window. There was light enough, and he began hurriedly
looking himself all over from head to foot, all his clothes; were there no traces?
But there was no doing it like that; shivering with cold, he began taking off
everything and looking over again. He turned everything over to the last threads
and rags, and mistrusting himself, went through his search three times.

But there seemed to be nothing, no trace, except in one place, where some
thick drops of congealed blood were clinging to the frayed edge of his trousers. He
picked up a big claspknife and cut off the frayed threads. There seemed to be
nothing more.
Suddenly he remembered that the purse and the things he had taken out of
the old woman’s box were still in his pockets! He had not thought till then of
taking them out and hiding them! He had not even thought of them while he was
examining his clothes! What next? Instantly he rushed to take them out and fling
them on the table. When he had pulled out everything, and turned the pocket
inside out to be sure there was nothing left, he carried the whole heap to the
corner. The paper had come off the bottom of the wall and hung there in tatters.
He began stuffing all the things into the hole under the paper: “They’re in! All out
of sight, and the purse too!” he thought gleefully, getting up and gazing blankly at
the hole which bulged out more than ever. Suddenly he shuddered all over with
horror; “My God!” he whispered in despair: “what’s the matter with me? Is that
hidden? Is that the way to hide things?”

He had not reckoned on having trinkets to hide. He had only thought of

money, and so had not prepared a hiding-place.
“But now, now, what am I glad of?” he thought, “Is that hiding things? My
reason’s deserting me — simply!”
He sat down on the sofa in exhaustion and was at once shaken by another
unbearable fit of shivering. Mechanically he drew from a chair beside him his old
student’s winter coat, which was still warm though almost in rags, covered himself
up with it and once more sank into drowsiness and delirium. He lost
consciousness.

Not more than five minutes had passed when he jumped up a second time,
and at once pounced in a frenzy on his clothes again.

“How could I go to sleep again with nothing done? Yes, yes; I have not taken
the loop off the armhole! I forgot it, forgot a thing like that! Such a piece of
evidence!”

He pulled off the noose, hurriedly cut it to pieces and threw the bits among
his linen under the pillow.

“Pieces of torn linen couldn’t rouse suspicion, whatever happened; I think

not, I think not, any way!” he repeated, standing in the middle of the room, and
with painful concentration he fell to gazing about him again, at the floor and
everywhere, trying to make sure he had not forgotten anything. The conviction
that all his faculties, even memory, and the simplest power of reflection were
failing him, began to be an insufferable torture.

“Surely it isn’t beginning already! Surely it isn’t my punishment coming upon

me? It is!”

The frayed rags he had cut off his trousers were actually lying on the floor in
the middle of the room, where anyone coming in would see them!
“What is the matter with me!” he cried again, like one distraught.

Then a strange idea entered his head; that, perhaps, all his clothes were
covered with blood, that, perhaps, there were a great many stains, but that he did
not see them, did not notice them because his perceptions were failing, were going
to pieces . . . his reason was clouded. . . . Suddenly he remembered that there had
been blood on the purse too. “Ah! Then there must be blood on the pocket too, for
I put the wet purse in my pocket!”

In a flash he had turned the pocket inside out and, yes! — there were traces,
stains on the lining of the pocket!

“So my reason has not quite deserted me, so I still have some sense and
memory, since I guessed it of myself,” he thought triumphantly, with a deep sigh
of relief; “it’s simply the weakness of fever, a moment’s delirium,” and he tore the
whole lining out of the left pocket of his trousers. At that instant the sunlight fell
on his left boot; on the sock which poked out from the boot, he fancied there were
traces! He flung off his boots; “traces indeed! The tip of the sock was soaked with
blood;” he must have unwarily stepped into that pool. . . . “But what am I to do
with this now? Where am I to put the sock and rags and pocket?”
He gathered them all up in his hands and stood in the middle of the room.
“In the stove? But they would ransack the stove first of all. Burn them? But
what can I burn them with? There are no matches even. No, better go out and
throw it all away somewhere. Yes, better throw it away,” he repeated, sitting down
on the sofa again, “and at once, this minute, without lingering …”
But his head sank on the pillow instead. Again the unbearable icy shivering
came over him; again he drew his coat over him.
And for a long while, for some hours, he was haunted by the impulse to “go
off somewhere at once, this moment, and fling it all away, so that it may be out of
sight and done with, at once, at once!” Several times he tried to rise from the sofa,
but could not.
He was thoroughly waked up at last by a violent knocking at his door.
“Open, do, are you dead or alive? He keeps sleeping here!” shouted Nastasya,
banging with her fist on the door. “For whole days together he’s snoring here like a
dog! A dog he is too. Open I tell you. It’s past ten.”

“Maybe he’s not at home,” said a man’s voice.

“Ha! that’s the porter’s voice. . . . What does he want?”

He jumped up and sat on the sofa. The beating of his heart was a positive
pain.
“Then who can have latched the door?” retorted Nastasya. “He’s taken to
bolting himself in! As if he were worth stealing! Open, you stupid, wake up!”
“What do they want? Why the porter? All’s discovered. Resist or open? Come
what may! …”
He half rose, stooped forward and unlatched the door.

His room was so small that he could undo the latch without leaving the bed.
Yes; the porter and Nastasya were standing there.
Nastasya stared at him in a strange way. He glanced with a defiant and
desperate air at the porter, who without a word held out a grey folded paper sealed
with bottle-wax.
“A notice from the office,” he announced, as he gave him the paper.
“From what office?”

“A summons to the police office, of course. You know which office.”

“To the police? . . . What for? …”
“How can I tell? You’re sent for, so you go.”

The man looked at him attentively, looked round the room and turned to go
away.

“He’s downright ill!” observed Nastasya, not taking her eyes off him. The
porter turned his head for a moment. “He’s been in a fever since yesterday,” she
added.
Raskolnikov made no response and held the paper in his hands, without
opening it. “Don’t you get up then,” Nastasya went on compassionately, seeing
that he was letting his feet down from the sofa. “You’re ill, and so don’t go; there’s
no such hurry. What have you got there?”
He looked; in his right hand he held the shreds he had cut from his trousers,
the sock, and the rags of the pocket. So he had been asleep with them in his hand.
Afterwards reflecting upon it, he remembered that half waking up in his fever, he
had grasped all this tightly in his hand and so fallen asleep again.
“Look at the rags he’s collected and sleeps with them, as though he has got
hold of a treasure …”
And Nastasya went off into her hysterical giggle.
Instantly he thrust them all under his great coat and fixed his eyes intently
upon her. Far as he was from being capable of rational reflection at that moment,
he felt that no one would behave like that with a person who was going to be
arrested. “But . . . the police?”
“You’d better have some tea! Yes? I’ll bring it, there’s some left.”

“No . . . I’m going; I’ll go at once,” he muttered, getting on to his feet.

“Why, you’ll never get downstairs!”
“Yes, I’ll go.”

“As you please.”

She followed the porter out.
At once he rushed to the light to examine the sock and the rags.

“There are stains, but not very noticeable; all covered with dirt, and rubbed
and already discoloured. No one who had no suspicion could distinguish anything.
Nastasya from a distance could not have noticed, thank God!” Then with a tremor
he broke the seal of the notice and began reading; he was a long while reading,
before he understood. It was an ordinary summons from the district police-station
to appear that day at half-past nine at the office of the district superintendent.

“But when has such a thing happened? I never have anything to do with the
police! And why just to-day?” he thought in agonising bewilderment. “Good God,
only get it over soon!”
He was flinging himself on his knees to pray, but broke into laughter — not at
the idea of prayer, but at himself.
He began, hurriedly dressing. “If I’m lost, I am lost, I don’t care! Shall I put
the sock on?” he suddenly wondered, “it will get dustier still and the traces will be
gone.”

But no sooner had he put it on than he pulled it off again in loathing and
horror. He pulled it off, but reflecting that he had no other socks, he picked it up
and put it on again — and again he laughed.
“That’s all conventional, that’s all relative, merely a way of looking at it,” he
thought in a flash, but only on the top surface of his mind, while he was
shuddering all over, “there, I’ve got it on! I have finished by getting it on!”

But his laughter was quickly followed by despair.

“No, it’s too much for me …” he thought. His legs shook. “From fear,” he
muttered. His head swam and ached with fever. “It’s a trick! They want to decoy
me there and confound me over everything,” he mused, as he went out on to the
stairs —“the worst of it is I’m almost light-headed . . . I may blurt out something
stupid …”

On the stairs he remembered that he was leaving all the things just as they
were in the hole in the wall, “and very likely, it’s on purpose to search when I’m
out,” he thought, and stopped short. But he was possessed by such despair, such
cynicism of misery, if one may so call it, that with a wave of his hand he went on.
“Only to get it over!”

In the street the heat was insufferable again; not a drop of rain had fallen all
those days. Again dust, bricks and mortar, again the stench from the shops and
pot-houses, again the drunken men, the Finnish pedlars and half-broken-down
cabs. The sun shone straight in his eyes, so that it hurt him to look out of them,
and he felt his head going round — as a man in a fever is apt to feel when he comes
out into the street on a bright sunny day.
When he reached the turning into the street, in an agony of trepidation he
looked down it . . . at the house . . . and at once averted his eyes.

“If they question me, perhaps I’ll simply tell,” he thought, as he drew near the
police-station.
The police-station was about a quarter of a mile off. It had lately been moved
to new rooms on the fourth floor of a new house. He had been once for a moment
in the old office but long ago. Turning in at the gateway, he saw on the right a
flight of stairs which a peasant was mounting with a book in his hand. “A house-
porter, no doubt; so then, the office is here,” and he began ascending the stairs on
the chance. He did not want to ask questions of anyone.

“I’ll go in, fall on my knees, and confess everything …” he thought, as he

reached the fourth floor.

The staircase was steep, narrow and all sloppy with dirty water. The kitchens
of the flats opened on to the stairs and stood open almost the whole day. So there
was a fearful smell and heat. The staircase was crowded with porters going up and
down with their books under their arms, policemen, and persons of all sorts and
both sexes. The door of the office, too, stood wide open. Peasants stood waiting
within. There, too, the heat was stifling and there was a sickening smell of fresh
paint and stale oil from the newly decorated rooms.
After waiting a little, he decided to move forward into the next room. All the
rooms were small and low-pitched. A fearful impatience drew him on and on. No
one paid attention to him. In the second room some clerks sat writing, dressed
hardly better than he was, and rather a queer-looking set. He went up to one of
them.

“What is it?”

He showed the notice he had received.

“You are a student?” the man asked, glancing at the notice.

“Yes, formerly a student.”

The clerk looked at him, but without the slightest interest. He was a
particularly unkempt person with the look of a fixed idea in his eye.
“There would be no getting anything out of him, because he has no interest in
anything,” thought Raskolnikov.

“Go in there to the head clerk,” said the clerk, pointing towards the furthest
room.
 He went into that room — the fourth in order; it was a small room and packed
full of people, rather better dressed than in the outer rooms. Among them were
two ladies. One, poorly dressed in mourning, sat at the table opposite the chief
clerk, writing something at his dictation. The other, a very stout, buxom woman
with a purplish-red, blotchy face, excessively smartly dressed with a brooch on her
bosom as big as a saucer, was standing on one side, apparently waiting for
something. Raskolnikov thrust his notice upon the head clerk. The latter glanced
at it, said: “Wait a minute,” and went on attending to the lady in mourning.

He breathed more freely. “It can’t be that!”

By degrees he began to regain confidence, he kept urging himself to have

courage and be calm.
“Some foolishness, some trifling carelessness, and I may betray myself! Hm
. . . it’s a pity there’s no air here,” he added, “it’s stifling. . . . It makes one’s head
dizzier than ever . . . and one’s mind too …”
He was conscious of a terrible inner turmoil. He was afraid of losing his self-
control; he tried to catch at something and fix his mind on it, something quite
irrelevant, but he could not succeed in this at all. Yet the head clerk greatly
interested him, he kept hoping to see through him and guess something from his
face.
He was a very young man, about two and twenty, with a dark mobile face that
looked older than his years. He was fashionably dressed and foppish, with his hair
parted in the middle, well combed and pomaded, and wore a number of rings on
his well-scrubbed fingers and a gold chain on his waistcoat. He said a couple of
words in French to a foreigner who was in the room, and said them fairly
correctly.

“Luise Ivanovna, you can sit down,” he said casually to the gaily-dressed,
purple-faced lady, who was still standing as though not venturing to sit down,
though there was a chair beside her.

“Ich danke,” said the latter, and softly, with a rustle of silk she sank into the
chair. Her light blue dress trimmed with white lace floated about the table like an
air-balloon and filled almost half the room. She smelt of scent. But she was
obviously embarrassed at filling half the room and smelling so strongly of scent;
and though her smile was impudent as well as cringing, it betrayed evident
uneasiness.
The lady in mourning had done at last, and got up. All at once, with some
noise, an officer walked in very jauntily, with a peculiar swing of his shoulders at
each step. He tossed his cockaded cap on the table and sat down in an easy-chair.
The small lady positively skipped from her seat on seeing him, and fell to
curtsying in a sort of ecstasy; but the officer took not the smallest notice of her,
and she did not venture to sit down again in his presence. He was the assistant
superintendent. He had a reddish moustache that stood out horizontally on each
side of his face, and extremely small features, expressive of nothing much except a
certain insolence. He looked askance and rather indignantly at Raskolnikov; he
was so very badly dressed, and in spite of his humiliating position, his bearing was
by no means in keeping with his clothes. Raskolnikov had unwarily fixed a very
long and direct look on him, so that he felt positively affronted.
“What do you want?” he shouted, apparently astonished that such a ragged
fellow was not annihilated by the majesty of his glance.

“I was summoned . . . by a notice …” Raskolnikov faltered.

“For the recovery of money due, from the student,” the head clerk interfered
hurriedly, tearing himself from his papers. “Here!” and he flung Raskolnikov a
document and pointed out the place. “Read that!”

“Money? What money?” thought Raskolnikov, “but . . . then . . . it’s certainly

not that.”
And he trembled with joy. He felt sudden intense indescribable relief. A load
was lifted from his back.

“And pray, what time were you directed to appear, sir?” shouted the assistant
superintendent, seeming for some unknown reason more and more aggrieved.
“You are told to come at nine, and now it’s twelve!”

“The notice was only brought me a quarter of an hour ago,” Raskolnikov

answered loudly over his shoulder. To his own surprise he, too, grew suddenly
angry and found a certain pleasure in it. “And it’s enough that I have come here ill
with fever.”

“Kindly refrain from shouting!”

“I’m not shouting, I’m speaking very quietly, it’s you who are shouting at me.
I’m a student, and allow no one to shout at me.”

The assistant superintendent was so furious that for the first minute he could
only splutter inarticulately. He leaped up from his seat.
“Be silent! You are in a government office. Don’t be impudent, sir!”

“You’re in a government office, too,” cried Raskolnikov, “and you’re smoking

a cigarette as well as shouting, so you are showing disrespect to all of us.”

He felt an indescribable satisfaction at having said this.

The head clerk looked at him with a smile. The angry assistant
superintendent was obviously disconcerted.

“That’s not your business!” he shouted at last with unnatural loudness.

“Kindly make the declaration demanded of you. Show him. Alexandr
Grigorievitch. There is a complaint against you! You don’t pay your debts! You’re a
fine bird!”

But Raskolnikov was not listening now; he had eagerly clutched at the paper,
in haste to find an explanation. He read it once, and a second time, and still did
not understand.

“What is this?” he asked the head clerk.

“It is for the recovery of money on an I O U, a writ. You must either pay it,
with all expenses, costs and so on, or give a written declaration when you can pay
it, and at the same time an undertaking not to leave the capital without payment,
and nor to sell or conceal your property. The creditor is at liberty to sell your
property, and proceed against you according to the law.”
“But I . . . am not in debt to anyone!”

“That’s not our business. Here, an I O U for a hundred and fifteen roubles,
legally attested, and due for payment, has been brought us for recovery, given by
you to the widow of the assessor Zarnitsyn, nine months ago, and paid over by the
widow Zarnitsyn to one Mr. Tchebarov. We therefore summon you, hereupon.”

“But she is my landlady!”

“And what if she is your landlady?”

The head clerk looked at him with a condescending smile of compassion, and
at the same time with a certain triumph, as at a novice under fire for the first time
— as though he would say: “Well, how do you feel now?” But what did he care now
for an I O U, for a writ of recovery! Was that worth worrying about now, was it
worth attention even! He stood, he read, he listened, he answered, he even asked
questions himself, but all mechanically. The triumphant sense of security, of
deliverance from overwhelming danger, that was what filled his whole soul that
moment without thought for the future, without analysis, without suppositions or
surmises, without doubts and without questioning. It was an instant of full, direct,
purely instinctive joy. But at that very moment something like a thunderstorm
took place in the office. The assistant superintendent, still shaken by
Raskolnikov’s disrespect, still fuming and obviously anxious to keep up his
wounded dignity, pounced on the unfortunate smart lady, who had been gazing at
him ever since he came in with an exceedingly silly smile.

“You shameful hussy!” he shouted suddenly at the top of his voice. (The lady
in mourning had left the office.) “What was going on at your house last night? Eh!
A disgrace again, you’re a scandal to the whole street. Fighting and drinking again.
Do you want the house of correction? Why, I have warned you ten times over that
I would not let you off the eleventh! And here you are again, again, you . . . you
. . .!”
The paper fell out of Raskolnikov’s hands, and he looked wildly at the smart
lady who was so unceremoniously treated. But he soon saw what it meant, and at
once began to find positive amusement in the scandal. He listened with pleasure,
so that he longed to laugh and laugh . . . all his nerves were on edge.
“Ilya Petrovitch!” the head clerk was beginning anxiously, but stopped short,
for he knew from experience that the enraged assistant could not be stopped
except by force.

As for the smart lady, at first she positively trembled before the storm. But,
strange to say, the more numerous and violent the terms of abuse became, the
more amiable she looked, and the more seductive the smiles she lavished on the
terrible assistant. She moved uneasily, and curtsied incessantly, waiting
impatiently for a chance of putting in her word: and at last she found it.

“There was no sort of noise or fighting in my house, Mr. Captain,” she

pattered all at once, like peas dropping, speaking Russian confidently, though with
a strong German accent, “and no sort of scandal, and his honour came drunk, and
it’s the whole truth I am telling, Mr. Captain, and I am not to blame. . . . Mine is an
honourable house, Mr. Captain, and honourable behaviour, Mr. Captain, and I
always, always dislike any scandal myself. But he came quite tipsy, and asked for
three bottles again, and then he lifted up one leg, and began playing the pianoforte
with one foot, and that is not at all right in an honourable house, and he ganz
broke the piano, and it was very bad manners indeed and I said so. And he took up
a bottle and began hitting everyone with it. And then I called the porter, and Karl
came, and he took Karl and hit him in the eye; and he hit Henriette in the eye, too,
and gave me five slaps on the cheek. And it was so ungentlemanly in an
honourable house, Mr. Captain, and I screamed. And he opened the window over
the canal, and stood in the window, squealing like a little pig; it was a disgrace.
The idea of squealing like a little pig at the window into the street! Fie upon him!
And Karl pulled him away from the window by his coat, and it is true, Mr. Captain,
he tore sein rock. And then he shouted that man muss pay him fifteen roubles
damages. And I did pay him, Mr. Captain, five roubles for sein rock. And he is an
ungentlemanly visitor and caused all the scandal. ‘I will show you up,’ he said, ‘for
I can write to all the papers about you.’”

“Then he was an author?”

“Yes, Mr. Captain, and what an ungentlemanly visitor in an honourable house

. . . .”

“Now then! Enough! I have told you already …”

“Ilya Petrovitch!” the head clerk repeated significantly.

The assistant glanced rapidly at him; the head clerk slightly shook his head.

“ . . . So I tell you this, most respectable Luise Ivanovna, and I tell it you for
the last time,” the assistant went on. “If there is a scandal in your honourable
house once again, I will put you yourself in the lock-up, as it is called in polite
society. Do you hear? So a literary man, an author took five roubles for his coat-
tail in an ‘honourable house’? A nice set, these authors!”

And he cast a contemptuous glance at Raskolnikov. “There was a scandal the

other day in a restaurant, too. An author had eaten his dinner and would not pay;
‘I’ll write a satire on you,’ says he. And there was another of them on a steamer last
week used the most disgraceful language to the respectable family of a civil
councillor, his wife and daughter. And there was one of them turned out of a
confectioner’s shop the other day. They are like that, authors, literary men,
students, town-criers. . . . Pfoo! You get along! I shall look in upon you myself one
day. Then you had better be careful! Do you hear?”

With hurried deference, Luise Ivanovna fell to curtsying in all directions, and
so curtsied herself to the door. But at the door, she stumbled backwards against a
good-looking officer with a fresh, open face and splendid thick fair whiskers. This
was the superintendent of the district himself, Nikodim Fomitch. Luise Ivanovna
made haste to curtsy almost to the ground, and with mincing little steps, she
fluttered out of the office.

“Again thunder and lightning — a hurricane!” said Nikodim Fomitch to Ilya

Petrovitch in a civil and friendly tone. “You are aroused again, you are fuming
again! I heard it on the stairs!”

“Well, what then!” Ilya Petrovitch drawled with gentlemanly nonchalance;

and he walked with some papers to another table, with a jaunty swing of his
shoulders at each step. “Here, if you will kindly look: an author, or a student, has
been one at least, does not pay his debts, has given an I O U, won’t clear out of his
room, and complaints are constantly being lodged against him, and here he has
been pleased to make a protest against my smoking in his presence! He behaves
like a cad himself, and just look at him, please. Here’s the gentleman, and very
attractive he is!”

“Poverty is not a vice, my friend, but we know you go off like powder, you
can’t bear a slight, I daresay you took offence at something and went too far
yourself,” continued Nikodim Fomitch, turning affably to Raskolnikov. “But you
were wrong there; he is a capital fellow, I assure you, but explosive, explosive! He
gets hot, fires up, boils over, and no stopping him! And then it’s all over! And at
the bottom he’s a heart of gold! His nickname in the regiment was the Explosive
Lieutenant . . . .”

“And what a regiment it was, too,” cried Ilya Petrovitch, much gratified at this
agreeable banter, though still sulky.
Raskolnikov had a sudden desire to say something exceptionally pleasant to
them all. “Excuse me, Captain,” he began easily, suddenly addressing Nikodim
Fomitch, “will you enter into my position? . . . I am ready to ask pardon, if I have
been ill-mannered. I am a poor student, sick and shattered (shattered was the
word he used) by poverty. I am not studying, because I cannot keep myself now,
but I shall get money. . . . I have a mother and sister in the province of X. They will
send it to me, and I will pay. My landlady is a good-hearted woman, but she is so
exasperated at my having lost my lessons, and not paying her for the last four
months, that she does not even send up my dinner . . . and I don’t understand this
I O U at all. She is asking me to pay her on this I O U. How am I to pay her? Judge
for yourselves! …”

“But that is not our business, you know,” the head clerk was observing.

“Yes, yes. I perfectly agree with you. But allow me to explain …” Raskolnikov
put in again, still addressing Nikodim Fomitch, but trying his best to address Ilya
Petrovitch also, though the latter persistently appeared to be rummaging among
his papers and to be contemptuously oblivious of him. “Allow me to explain that I
have been living with her for nearly three years and at first . . . at first . . . for why
should I not confess it, at the very beginning I promised to marry her daughter, it
was a verbal promise, freely given . . . she was a girl . . . indeed, I liked her, though
I was not in love with her . . . a youthful affair in fact . . . that is, I mean to say, that
my landlady gave me credit freely in those days, and I led a life of . . . I was very
heedless …”

“Nobody asks you for these personal details, sir, we’ve no time to waste,” Ilya
Petrovitch interposed roughly and with a note of triumph; but Raskolnikov
stopped him hotly, though he suddenly found it exceedingly difficult to speak.

“But excuse me, excuse me. It is for me to explain . . . how it all happened . . .
In my turn . . . though I agree with you . . . it is unnecessary. But a year ago, the
girl died of typhus. I remained lodging there as before, and when my landlady
moved into her present quarters, she said to me . . . and in a friendly way . . . that
she had complete trust in me, but still, would I not give her an I O U for one
hundred and fifteen roubles, all the debt I owed her. She said if only I gave her
that, she would trust me again, as much as I liked, and that she would never, never
— those were her own words — make use of that I O U till I could pay of myself . . .
and now, when I have lost my lessons and have nothing to eat, she takes action
against me. What am I to say to that?”

“All these affecting details are no business of ours.” Ilya Petrovitch

interrupted rudely. “You must give a written undertaking but as for your love
affairs and all these tragic events, we have nothing to do with that.”
 “Come now . . . you are harsh,” muttered Nikodim Fomitch, sitting down at
the table and also beginning to write. He looked a little ashamed.

“Write!” said the head clerk to Raskolnikov.

“Write what?” the latter asked, gruffly.

“I will dictate to you.”

Raskolnikov fancied that the head clerk treated him more casually and
contemptuously after his speech, but strange to say he suddenly felt completely
indifferent to anyone’s opinion, and this revulsion took place in a flash, in one
instant. If he had cared to think a little, he would have been amazed indeed that he
could have talked to them like that a minute before, forcing his feelings upon
them. And where had those feelings come from? Now if the whole room had been
filled, not with police officers, but with those nearest and dearest to him, he would
not have found one human word for them, so empty was his heart. A gloomy
sensation of agonising, everlasting solitude and remoteness, took conscious form
in his soul. It was not the meanness of his sentimental effusions before Ilya
Petrovitch, nor the meanness of the latter’s triumph over him that had caused this
sudden revulsion in his heart. Oh, what had he to do now with his own baseness,
with all these petty vanities, officers, German women, debts, police-offices? If he
had been sentenced to be burnt at that moment, he would not have stirred, would
hardly have heard the sentence to the end. Something was happening to him
entirely new, sudden and unknown. It was not that he understood, but he felt
clearly with all the intensity of sensation that he could never more appeal to these
people in the police-office with sentimental effusions like his recent outburst, or
with anything whatever; and that if they had been his own brothers and sisters
and not police-officers, it would have been utterly out of the question to appeal to
them in any circumstance of life. He had never experienced such a strange and
awful sensation. And what was most agonising — it was more a sensation than a
conception or idea, a direct sensation, the most agonising of all the sensations he
had known in his life.

The head clerk began dictating to him the usual form of declaration, that he
could not pay, that he undertook to do so at a future date, that he would not leave
the town, nor sell his property, and so on.

“But you can’t write, you can hardly hold the pen,” observed the head clerk,
looking with curiosity at Raskolnikov. “Are you ill?”

“Yes, I am giddy. Go on!”

“That’s all. Sign it.”

The head clerk took the paper, and turned to attend to others.

Raskolnikov gave back the pen; but instead of getting up and going away, he
put his elbows on the table and pressed his head in his hands. He felt as if a nail
were being driven into his skull. A strange idea suddenly occurred to him, to get
up at once, to go up to Nikodim Fomitch, and tell him everything that had
happened yesterday, and then to go with him to his lodgings and to show him the
things in the hole in the corner. The impulse was so strong that he got up from his
seat to carry it out. “Hadn’t I better think a minute?” flashed through his mind.
“No, better cast off the burden without thinking.” But all at once he stood still,
rooted to the spot. Nikodim Fomitch was talking eagerly with Ilya Petrovitch, and
the words reached him:

“It’s impossible, they’ll both be released. To begin with, the whole story
contradicts itself. Why should they have called the porter, if it had been their
doing? To inform against themselves? Or as a blind? No, that would be too
cunning! Besides, Pestryakov, the student, was seen at the gate by both the porters
and a woman as he went in. He was walking with three friends, who left him only
at the gate, and he asked the porters to direct him, in the presence of the friends.
Now, would he have asked his way if he had been going with such an object? As for
Koch, he spent half an hour at the silversmith’s below, before he went up to the old
woman and he left him at exactly a quarter to eight. Now just consider …”
“But excuse me, how do you explain this contradiction? They state themselves
that they knocked and the door was locked; yet three minutes later when they
went up with the porter, it turned out the door was unfastened.”

“That’s just it; the murderer must have been there and bolted himself in; and
they’d have caught him for a certainty if Koch had not been an ass and gone to
look for the porter too. He must have seized the interval to get downstairs and slip
by them somehow. Koch keeps crossing himself and saying: ‘If I had been there,
he would have jumped out and killed me with his axe.’ He is going to have a
thanksgiving service — ha, ha!”

“And no one saw the murderer?”

 “They might well not see him; the house is a regular Noah’s Ark,” said the
head clerk, who was listening.
“It’s clear, quite clear,” Nikodim Fomitch repeated warmly.

“No, it is anything but clear,” Ilya Petrovitch maintained.

Raskolnikov picked up his hat and walked towards the door, but he did not
reach it . . . .

When he recovered consciousness, he found himself sitting in a chair,

supported by someone on the right side, while someone else was standing on the
left, holding a yellowish glass filled with yellow water, and Nikodim Fomitch
standing before him, looking intently at him. He got up from the chair.

“What’s this? Are you ill?” Nikodim Fomitch asked, rather sharply.

“He could hardly hold his pen when he was signing,” said the head clerk,
settling back in his place, and taking up his work again.

“Have you been ill long?” cried Ilya Petrovitch from his place, where he, too,
was looking through papers. He had, of course, come to look at the sick man when
he fainted, but retired at once when he recovered.

“Since yesterday,” muttered Raskolnikov in reply.

“Did you go out yesterday?”

“Yes.”
“Though you were ill?”

“Yes.”

“At what time?”

“About seven.”

“And where did you go, my I ask?”

“Along the street.”

“Short and clear.”

Raskolnikov, white as a handkerchief, had answered sharply, jerkily, without

dropping his black feverish eyes before Ilya Petrovitch’s stare.

“He can scarcely stand upright. And you …” Nikodim Fomitch was beginning.
 “No matter,” Ilya Petrovitch pronounced rather peculiarly.

Nikodim Fomitch would have made some further protest, but glancing at the
head clerk who was looking very hard at him, he did not speak. There was a
sudden silence. It was strange.

“Very well, then,” concluded Ilya Petrovitch, “we will not detain you.”

Raskolnikov went out. He caught the sound of eager conversation on his

departure, and above the rest rose the questioning voice of Nikodim Fomitch. In
the street, his faintness passed off completely.

“A search — there will be a search at once,” he repeated to himself, hurrying

home. “The brutes! they suspect.”

His former terror mastered him completely again.

 CHAPTER II

“And what if there has been a search already? What if I find them in my room?”
But here was his room. Nothing and no one in it. No one had peeped in. Even
Nastasya had not touched it. But heavens! how could he have left all those things
in the hole?

He rushed to the corner, slipped his hand under the paper, pulled the things
out and lined his pockets with them. There were eight articles in all: two little
boxes with ear-rings or something of the sort, he hardly looked to see; then four
small leather cases. There was a chain, too, merely wrapped in newspaper and
something else in newspaper, that looked like a decoration. . . . He put them all in
the different pockets of his overcoat, and the remaining pocket of his trousers,
trying to conceal them as much as possible. He took the purse, too. Then he went
out of his room, leaving the door open. He walked quickly and resolutely, and
though he felt shattered, he had his senses about him. He was afraid of pursuit, he
was afraid that in another half-hour, another quarter of an hour perhaps,
instructions would be issued for his pursuit, and so at all costs, he must hide all
traces before then. He must clear everything up while he still had some strength,
some reasoning power left him. . . . Where was he to go?
That had long been settled: “Fling them into the canal, and all traces hidden
in the water, the thing would be at an end.” So he had decided in the night of his
delirium when several times he had had the impulse to get up and go away, to
make haste, and get rid of it all. But to get rid of it, turned out to be a very difficult
task. He wandered along the bank of the Ekaterininsky Canal for half an hour or
more and looked several times at the steps running down to the water, but he
could not think of carrying out his plan; either rafts stood at the steps’ edge, and
women were washing clothes on them, or boats were moored there, and people
were swarming everywhere. Moreover he could be seen and noticed from the
banks on all sides; it would look suspicious for a man to go down on purpose, stop,
and throw something into the water. And what if the boxes were to float instead of
sinking? And of course they would. Even as it was, everyone he met seemed to
stare and look round, as if they had nothing to do but to watch him. “Why is it, or
can it be my fancy?” he thought.
 At last the thought struck him that it might be better to go to the Neva. There
were not so many people there, he would be less observed, and it would be more
convenient in every way, above all it was further off. He wondered how he could
have been wandering for a good half-hour, worried and anxious in this dangerous
past without thinking of it before. And that half-hour he had lost over an irrational
plan, simply because he had thought of it in delirium! He had become extremely
absent and forgetful and he was aware of it. He certainly must make haste.
He walked towards the Neva along V—— Prospect, but on the way another
idea struck him. “Why to the Neva? Would it not be better to go somewhere far off,
to the Islands again, and there hide the things in some solitary place, in a wood or
under a bush, and mark the spot perhaps?” And though he felt incapable of clear
judgment, the idea seemed to him a sound one. But he was not destined to go
there. For coming out of V—— Prospect towards the square, he saw on the left a
passage leading between two blank walls to a courtyard. On the right hand, the
blank unwhitewashed wall of a four-storied house stretched far into the court; on
the left, a wooden hoarding ran parallel with it for twenty paces into the court, and
then turned sharply to the left. Here was a deserted fenced-off place where
rubbish of different sorts was lying. At the end of the court, the corner of a low,
smutty, stone shed, apparently part of some workshop, peeped from behind the
hoarding. It was probably a carriage builder’s or carpenter’s shed; the whole place
from the entrance was black with coal dust. Here would be the place to throw it, he
thought. Not seeing anyone in the yard, he slipped in, and at once saw near the
gate a sink, such as is often put in yards where there are many workmen or cab-
drivers; and on the hoarding above had been scribbled in chalk the time-honoured
witticism, “Standing here strictly forbidden.” This was all the better, for there
would be nothing suspicious about his going in. “Here I could throw it all in a heap
and get away!”
Looking round once more, with his hand already in his pocket, he noticed
against the outer wall, between the entrance and the sink, a big unhewn stone,
weighing perhaps sixty pounds. The other side of the wall was a street. He could
hear passers-by, always numerous in that part, but he could not be seen from the
entrance, unless someone came in from the street, which might well happen
indeed, so there was need of haste.
He bent down over the stone, seized the top of it firmly in both hands, and
using all his strength turned it over. Under the stone was a small hollow in the
ground, and he immediately emptied his pocket into it. The purse lay at the top,
and yet the hollow was not filled up. Then he seized the stone again and with one
twist turned it back, so that it was in the same position again, though it stood a
very little higher. But he scraped the earth about it and pressed it at the edges with
his foot. Nothing could be noticed.

Then he went out, and turned into the square. Again an intense, almost
unbearable joy overwhelmed him for an instant, as it had in the police-office. “I
have buried my tracks! And who, who can think of looking under that stone? It has
been lying there most likely ever since the house was built, and will lie as many
years more. And if it were found, who would think of me? It is all over! No clue!”
And he laughed. Yes, he remembered that he began laughing a thin, nervous
noiseless laugh, and went on laughing all the time he was crossing the square. But
when he reached the K—— Boulevard where two days before he had come upon
that girl, his laughter suddenly ceased. Other ideas crept into his mind. He felt all
at once that it would be loathsome to pass that seat on which after the girl was
gone, he had sat and pondered, and that it would be hateful, too, to meet that
whiskered policeman to whom he had given the twenty copecks: “Damn him!”

He walked, looking about him angrily and distractedly. All his ideas now
seemed to be circling round some single point, and he felt that there really was
such a point, and that now, now, he was left facing that point — and for the first
time, indeed, during the last two months.

“Damn it all!” he thought suddenly, in a fit of ungovernable fury. “If it has

begun, then it has begun. Hang the new life! Good Lord, how stupid it is! . . . And
what lies I told to-day! How despicably I fawned upon that wretched Ilya
Petrovitch! But that is all folly! What do I care for them all, and my fawning upon
them! It is not that at all! It is not that at all!”
Suddenly he stopped; a new utterly unexpected and exceedingly simple
question perplexed and bitterly confounded him.
“If it all has really been done deliberately and not idiotically, if I really had a
certain and definite object, how is it I did not even glance into the purse and don’t
know what I had there, for which I have undergone these agonies, and have
deliberately undertaken this base, filthy degrading business? And here I wanted at
once to throw into the water the purse together with all the things which I had not
seen either . . . how’s that?”
Yes, that was so, that was all so. Yet he had known it all before, and it was not
a new question for him, even when it was decided in the night without hesitation
and consideration, as though so it must be, as though it could not possibly be
otherwise. . . . Yes, he had known it all, and understood it all; it surely had all been
settled even yesterday at the moment when he was bending over the box and
pulling the jewel-cases out of it. . . . Yes, so it was.
“It is because I am very ill,” he decided grimly at last, “I have been worrying
and fretting myself, and I don’t know what I am doing. . . . Yesterday and the day
before yesterday and all this time I have been worrying myself. . . . I shall get well
and I shall not worry. . . . But what if I don’t get well at all? Good God, how sick I
am of it all!”
He walked on without resting. He had a terrible longing for some distraction,
but he did not know what to do, what to attempt. A new overwhelming sensation
was gaining more and more mastery over him every moment; this was an
immeasurable, almost physical, repulsion for everything surrounding him, an
obstinate, malignant feeling of hatred. All who met him were loathsome to him —
he loathed their faces, their movements, their gestures. If anyone had addressed
him, he felt that he might have spat at him or bitten him . . . .
He stopped suddenly, on coming out on the bank of the Little Neva, near the
bridge to Vassilyevsky Ostrov. “Why, he lives here, in that house,” he thought,
“why, I have not come to Razumihin of my own accord! Here it’s the same thing
over again. . . . Very interesting to know, though; have I come on purpose or have I
simply walked here by chance? Never mind, I said the day before yesterday that I
would go and see him the day after; well, and so I will! Besides I really cannot go
further now.”
He went up to Razumihin’s room on the fifth floor.

The latter was at home in his garret, busily writing at the moment, and he
opened the door himself. It was four months since they had seen each other.
Razumihin was sitting in a ragged dressing-gown, with slippers on his bare feet,
unkempt, unshaven and unwashed. His face showed surprise.

“Is it you?” he cried. He looked his comrade up and down; then after a brief
pause, he whistled. “As hard up as all that! Why, brother, you’ve cut me out!” he
added, looking at Raskolnikov’s rags. “Come sit down, you are tired, I’ll be bound.”
And when he had sunk down on the American leather sofa, which was in even
worse condition than his own, Razumihin saw at once that his visitor was ill.
“Why, you are seriously ill, do you know that?” He began feeling his pulse.
Raskolnikov pulled away his hand.
“Never mind,” he said, “I have come for this: I have no lessons. . . . I wanted,
. . . but I don’t really want lessons . . . .”

“But I say! You are delirious, you know!” Razumihin observed, watching him
carefully.

“No, I am not.”
Raskolnikov got up from the sofa. As he had mounted the stairs to
Razumihin’s, he had not realised that he would be meeting his friend face to face.
Now, in a flash, he knew, that what he was least of all disposed for at that moment
was to be face to face with anyone in the wide world. His spleen rose within him.
He almost choked with rage at himself as soon as he crossed Razumihin’s
threshold.
“Good-bye,” he said abruptly, and walked to the door.
“Stop, stop! You queer fish.”

“I don’t want to,” said the other, again pulling away his hand.
“Then why the devil have you come? Are you mad, or what? Why, this is . . .
almost insulting! I won’t let you go like that.”
“Well, then, I came to you because I know no one but you who could help . . .
to begin . . . because you are kinder than anyone — cleverer, I mean, and can judge
. . . and now I see that I want nothing. Do you hear? Nothing at all . . . no one’s
services . . . no one’s sympathy. I am by myself . . . alone. Come, that’s enough.
Leave me alone.”
“Stay a minute, you sweep! You are a perfect madman. As you like for all I
care. I have no lessons, do you see, and I don’t care about that, but there’s a
bookseller, Heruvimov — and he takes the place of a lesson. I would not exchange
him for five lessons. He’s doing publishing of a kind, and issuing natural science
manuals and what a circulation they have! The very titles are worth the money!
You always maintained that I was a fool, but by Jove, my boy, there are greater
fools than I am! Now he is setting up for being advanced, not that he has an
inkling of anything, but, of course, I encourage him. Here are two signatures of the
German text — in my opinion, the crudest charlatanism; it discusses the question,
‘Is woman a human being?’ And, of course, triumphantly proves that she is.
Heruvimov is going to bring out this work as a contribution to the woman
question; I am translating it; he will expand these two and a half signatures into
six, we shall make up a gorgeous title half a page long and bring it out at half a
rouble. It will do! He pays me six roubles the signature, it works out to about
fifteen roubles for the job, and I’ve had six already in advance. When we have
finished this, we are going to begin a translation about whales, and then some of
the dullest scandals out of the second part of Les Confessions we have marked for
translation; somebody has told Heruvimov, that Rousseau was a kind of
Radishchev. You may be sure I don’t contradict him, hang him! Well, would you
like to do the second signature of ‘Is woman a human being?’ If you would, take
the German and pens and paper — all those are provided, and take three roubles;
for as I have had six roubles in advance on the whole thing, three roubles come to
you for your share. And when you have finished the signature there will be
another three roubles for you. And please don’t think I am doing you a service;
quite the contrary, as soon as you came in, I saw how you could help me; to begin
with, I am weak in spelling, and secondly, I am sometimes utterly adrift in
German, so that I make it up as I go along for the most part. The only comfort is,
that it’s bound to be a change for the better. Though who can tell, maybe it’s
sometimes for the worse. Will you take it?”

Raskolnikov took the German sheets in silence, took the three roubles and
without a word went out. Razumihin gazed after him in astonishment. But when
Raskolnikov was in the next street, he turned back, mounted the stairs to
Razumihin’s again and laying on the table the German article and the three
roubles, went out again, still without uttering a word.

“Are you raving, or what?” Razumihin shouted, roused to fury at last. “What
farce is this? You’ll drive me crazy too . . . what did you come to see me for, damn
you?”

“I don’t want . . . translation,” muttered Raskolnikov from the stairs.

“Then what the devil do you want?” shouted Razumihin from above.
Raskolnikov continued descending the staircase in silence.
“Hey, there! Where are you living?”

No answer.

“Well, confound you then!”

But Raskolnikov was already stepping into the street. On the Nikolaevsky
Bridge he was roused to full consciousness again by an unpleasant incident. A
coachman, after shouting at him two or three times, gave him a violent lash on the
back with his whip, for having almost fallen under his horses’ hoofs. The lash so
infuriated him that he dashed away to the railing (for some unknown reason he
had been walking in the very middle of the bridge in the traffic). He angrily
clenched and ground his teeth. He heard laughter, of course.

“Serves him right!”

“A pickpocket I dare say.”

“Pretending to be drunk, for sure, and getting under the wheels on purpose;
and you have to answer for him.”
“It’s a regular profession, that’s what it is.”

But while he stood at the railing, still looking angry and bewildered after the
retreating carriage, and rubbing his back, he suddenly felt someone thrust money
into his hand. He looked. It was an elderly woman in a kerchief and goatskin
shoes, with a girl, probably her daughter wearing a hat, and carrying a green
parasol.

“Take it, my good man, in Christ’s name.”

He took it and they passed on. It was a piece of twenty copecks. From his
dress and appearance they might well have taken him for a beggar asking alms in
the streets, and the gift of the twenty copecks he doubtless owed to the blow,
which made them feel sorry for him.
He closed his hand on the twenty copecks, walked on for ten paces, and
turned facing the Neva, looking towards the palace. The sky was without a cloud
and the water was almost bright blue, which is so rare in the Neva. The cupola of
the cathedral, which is seen at its best from the bridge about twenty paces from
the chapel, glittered in the sunlight, and in the pure air every ornament on it could
be clearly distinguished. The pain from the lash went off, and Raskolnikov forgot
about it; one uneasy and not quite definite idea occupied him now completely. He
stood still, and gazed long and intently into the distance; this spot was especially
familiar to him. When he was attending the university, he had hundreds of times
— generally on his way home — stood still on this spot, gazed at this truly
magnificent spectacle and almost always marvelled at a vague and mysterious
emotion it roused in him. It left him strangely cold; this gorgeous picture was for
him blank and lifeless. He wondered every time at his sombre and enigmatic
impression and, mistrusting himself, put off finding the explanation of it. He
vividly recalled those old doubts and perplexities, and it seemed to him that it was
no mere chance that he recalled them now. It struck him as strange and grotesque,
that he should have stopped at the same spot as before, as though he actually
imagined he could think the same thoughts, be interested in the same theories and
pictures that had interested him . . . so short a time ago. He felt it almost amusing,
and yet it wrung his heart. Deep down, hidden far away out of sight all that
seemed to him now — all his old past, his old thoughts, his old problems and
theories, his old impressions and that picture and himself and all, all. . . . He felt
as though he were flying upwards, and everything were vanishing from his sight.
Making an unconscious movement with his hand, he suddenly became aware of
the piece of money in his fist. He opened his hand, stared at the coin, and with a
sweep of his arm flung it into the water; then he turned and went home. It seemed
to him, he had cut himself off from everyone and from everything at that moment.

Evening was coming on when he reached home, so that he must have been
walking about six hours. How and where he came back he did not remember.
Undressing, and quivering like an overdriven horse, he lay down on the sofa, drew
his greatcoat over him, and at once sank into oblivion . . . .

It was dusk when he was waked up by a fearful scream. Good God, what a
scream! Such unnatural sounds, such howling, wailing, grinding, tears, blows and
curses he had never heard.

He could never have imagined such brutality, such frenzy. In terror he sat up
in bed, almost swooning with agony. But the fighting, wailing and cursing grew
louder and louder. And then to his intense amazement he caught the voice of his
landlady. She was howling, shrieking and wailing, rapidly, hurriedly, incoherently,
so that he could not make out what she was talking about; she was beseeching, no
doubt, not to be beaten, for she was being mercilessly beaten on the stairs. The
voice of her assailant was so horrible from spite and rage that it was almost a
croak; but he, too, was saying something, and just as quickly and indistinctly,
hurrying and spluttering. All at once Raskolnikov trembled; he recognised the
voice — it was the voice of Ilya Petrovitch. Ilya Petrovitch here and beating the
landlady! He is kicking her, banging her head against the steps — that’s clear, that
can be told from the sounds, from the cries and the thuds. How is it, is the world
topsy-turvy? He could hear people running in crowds from all the storeys and all
the staircases; he heard voices, exclamations, knocking, doors banging. “But why,
why, and how could it be?” he repeated, thinking seriously that he had gone mad.
But no, he heard too distinctly! And they would come to him then next, “for no
doubt . . . it’s all about that . . . about yesterday . . . . Good God!” He would have
fastened his door with the latch, but he could not lift his hand . . . besides, it would
be useless. Terror gripped his heart like ice, tortured him and numbed him. . . .
But at last all this uproar, after continuing about ten minutes, began gradually to
subside. The landlady was moaning and groaning; Ilya Petrovitch was still
uttering threats and curses. . . . But at last he, too, seemed to be silent, and now he
could not be heard. “Can he have gone away? Good Lord!” Yes, and now the
landlady is going too, still weeping and moaning . . . and then her door slammed.
. . . Now the crowd was going from the stairs to their rooms, exclaiming, disputing,
calling to one another, raising their voices to a shout, dropping them to a whisper.
There must have been numbers of them — almost all the inmates of the block.
“But, good God, how could it be! And why, why had he come here!”

Raskolnikov sank worn out on the sofa, but could not close his eyes. He lay
for half an hour in such anguish, such an intolerable sensation of infinite terror as
he had never experienced before. Suddenly a bright light flashed into his room.
Nastasya came in with a candle and a plate of soup. Looking at him carefully and
ascertaining that he was not asleep, she set the candle on the table and began to
lay out what she had brought — bread, salt, a plate, a spoon.

“You’ve eaten nothing since yesterday, I warrant. You’ve been trudging about
all day, and you’re shaking with fever.”

“Nastasya . . . what were they beating the landlady for?”

She looked intently at him.

“Who beat the landlady?”
 “Just now . . . half an hour ago, Ilya Petrovitch, the assistant superintendent,
on the stairs. . . . Why was he ill-treating her like that, and . . . why was he here?”

Nastasya scrutinised him, silent and frowning, and her scrutiny lasted a long
time. He felt uneasy, even frightened at her searching eyes.

“Nastasya, why don’t you speak?” he said timidly at last in a weak voice.

“It’s the blood,” she answered at last softly, as though speaking to herself.

“Blood? What blood?” he muttered, growing white and turning towards the
wall.

Nastasya still looked at him without speaking.

“Nobody has been beating the landlady,” she declared at last in a firm,
resolute voice.

He gazed at her, hardly able to breathe.

“I heard it myself. . . . I was not asleep . . . I was sitting up,” he said still more
timidly. “I listened a long while. The assistant superintendent came. . . . Everyone
ran out on to the stairs from all the flats.”

“No one has been here. That’s the blood crying in your ears. When there’s no
outlet for it and it gets clotted, you begin fancying things. . . . Will you eat
something?”
He made no answer. Nastasya still stood over him, watching him.

“Give me something to drink . . . Nastasya.”

She went downstairs and returned with a white earthenware jug of water. He
remembered only swallowing one sip of the cold water and spilling some on his
neck. Then followed forgetfulness.
 CHAPTER III

He was not completely unconscious, however, all the time he was ill; he was in a
feverish state, sometimes delirious, sometimes half conscious. He remembered a
great deal afterwards. Sometimes it seemed as though there were a number of
people round him; they wanted to take him away somewhere, there was a great
deal of squabbling and discussing about him. Then he would be alone in the room;
they had all gone away afraid of him, and only now and then opened the door a
crack to look at him; they threatened him, plotted something together, laughed,
and mocked at him. He remembered Nastasya often at his bedside; he
distinguished another person, too, whom he seemed to know very well, though he
could not remember who he was, and this fretted him, even made him cry.
Sometimes he fancied he had been lying there a month; at other times it all
seemed part of the same day. But of that — of that he had no recollection, and yet
every minute he felt that he had forgotten something he ought to remember. He
worried and tormented himself trying to remember, moaned, flew into a rage, or
sank into awful, intolerable terror. Then he struggled to get up, would have run
away, but someone always prevented him by force, and he sank back into
impotence and forgetfulness. At last he returned to complete consciousness.

It happened at ten o’clock in the morning. On fine days the sun shone into the
room at that hour, throwing a streak of light on the right wall and the corner near
the door. Nastasya was standing beside him with another person, a complete
stranger, who was looking at him very inquisitively. He was a young man with a
beard, wearing a full, short-waisted coat, and looked like a messenger. The
landlady was peeping in at the half-opened door. Raskolnikov sat up.

“Who is this, Nastasya?” he asked, pointing to the young man.

“I say, he’s himself again!” she said.

“He is himself,” echoed the man.

Concluding that he had returned to his senses, the landlady closed the door
and disappeared. She was always shy and dreaded conversations or discussions.
She was a woman of forty, not at all bad-looking, fat and buxom, with black eyes
and eyebrows, good-natured from fatness and laziness, and absurdly bashful.
“Who . . . are you?” he went on, addressing the man. But at that moment the
door was flung open, and, stooping a little, as he was so tall, Razumihin came in.

“What a cabin it is!” he cried. “I am always knocking my head. You call this a
lodging! So you are conscious, brother? I’ve just heard the news from Pashenka.”
“He has just come to,” said Nastasya.

“Just come to,” echoed the man again, with a smile.

“And who are you?” Razumihin asked, suddenly addressing him. “My name is
Vrazumihin, at your service; not Razumihin, as I am always called, but
Vrazumihin, a student and gentleman; and he is my friend. And who are you?”
“I am the messenger from our office, from the merchant Shelopaev, and I’ve
come on business.”
“Please sit down.” Razumihin seated himself on the other side of the table.
“It’s a good thing you’ve come to, brother,” he went on to Raskolnikov. “For the
last four days you have scarcely eaten or drunk anything. We had to give you tea in
spoonfuls. I brought Zossimov to see you twice. You remember Zossimov? He
examined you carefully and said at once it was nothing serious — something
seemed to have gone to your head. Some nervous nonsense, the result of bad
feeding, he says you have not had enough beer and radish, but it’s nothing much,
it will pass and you will be all right. Zossimov is a first-rate fellow! He is making
quite a name. Come, I won’t keep you,” he said, addressing the man again. “Will
you explain what you want? You must know, Rodya, this is the second time they
have sent from the office; but it was another man last time, and I talked to him.
Who was it came before?”
“That was the day before yesterday, I venture to say, if you please, sir. That
was Alexey Semyonovitch; he is in our office, too.”
“He was more intelligent than you, don’t you think so?”

“Yes, indeed, sir, he is of more weight than I am.”

“Quite so; go on.”

“At your mamma’s request, through Afanasy Ivanovitch Vahrushin, of whom
I presume you have heard more than once, a remittance is sent to you from our
office,” the man began, addressing Raskolnikov. “If you are in an intelligible
condition, I’ve thirty-five roubles to remit to you, as Semyon Semyonovitch has
received from Afanasy Ivanovitch at your mamma’s request instructions to that
effect, as on previous occasions. Do you know him, sir?”

“Yes, I remember . . . Vahrushin,” Raskolnikov said dreamily.

“You hear, he knows Vahrushin,” cried Razumihin. “He is in ‘an intelligible
condition’! And I see you are an intelligent man too. Well, it’s always pleasant to
hear words of wisdom.”
“That’s the gentleman, Vahrushin, Afanasy Ivanovitch. And at the request of
your mamma, who has sent you a remittance once before in the same manner
through him, he did not refuse this time also, and sent instructions to Semyon
Semyonovitch some days since to hand you thirty-five roubles in the hope of
better to come.”

“That ‘hoping for better to come’ is the best thing you’ve said, though ‘your
mamma’ is not bad either. Come then, what do you say? Is he fully conscious, eh?”

“That’s all right. If only he can sign this little paper.”

“He can scrawl his name. Have you got the book?”
“Yes, here’s the book.”

“Give it to me. Here, Rodya, sit up. I’ll hold you. Take the pen and scribble
‘Raskolnikov’ for him. For just now, brother, money is sweeter to us than treacle.”

“I don’t want it,” said Raskolnikov, pushing away the pen.

“Not want it?”

“I won’t sign it.”

“How the devil can you do without signing it?”

“I don’t want . . . the money.”

“Don’t want the money! Come, brother, that’s nonsense, I bear witness. Don’t
trouble, please, it’s only that he is on his travels again. But that’s pretty common
with him at all times though. . . . You are a man of judgment and we will take him
in hand, that is, more simply, take his hand and he will sign it. Here.”

“But I can come another time.”

“No, no. Why should we trouble you? You are a man of judgment. . . . Now,
Rodya, don’t keep your visitor, you see he is waiting,” and he made ready to hold
Raskolnikov’s hand in earnest.
 “Stop, I’ll do it alone,” said the latter, taking the pen and signing his name.
The messenger took out the money and went away.
“Bravo! And now, brother, are you hungry?”

“Yes,” answered Raskolnikov.

“Is there any soup?”
“Some of yesterday’s,” answered Nastasya, who was still standing there.

“With potatoes and rice in it?”

“Yes.”

“I know it by heart. Bring soup and give us some tea.”

“Very well.”
Raskolnikov looked at all this with profound astonishment and a dull,
unreasoning terror. He made up his mind to keep quiet and see what would
happen. “I believe I am not wandering. I believe it’s reality,” he thought.

In a couple of minutes Nastasya returned with the soup, and announced that
the tea would be ready directly. With the soup she brought two spoons, two plates,
salt, pepper, mustard for the beef, and so on. The table was set as it had not been
for a long time. The cloth was clean.

“It would not be amiss, Nastasya, if Praskovya Pavlovna were to send us up a

couple of bottles of beer. We could empty them.”

“Well, you are a cool hand,” muttered Nastasya, and she departed to carry out
his orders.
Raskolnikov still gazed wildly with strained attention. Meanwhile Razumihin
sat down on the sofa beside him, as clumsily as a bear put his left arm round
Raskolnikov’s head, although he was able to sit up, and with his right hand gave
him a spoonful of soup, blowing on it that it might not burn him. But the soup was
only just warm. Raskolnikov swallowed one spoonful greedily, then a second, then
a third. But after giving him a few more spoonfuls of soup, Razumihin suddenly
stopped, and said that he must ask Zossimov whether he ought to have more.
Nastasya came in with two bottles of beer.
“And will you have tea?”
 “Yes.”
“Cut along, Nastasya, and bring some tea, for tea we may venture on without
the faculty. But here is the beer!” He moved back to his chair, pulled the soup and
meat in front of him, and began eating as though he had not touched food for
three days.
“I must tell you, Rodya, I dine like this here every day now,” he mumbled with
his mouth full of beef, “and it’s all Pashenka, your dear little landlady, who sees to
that; she loves to do anything for me. I don’t ask for it, but, of course, I don’t
object. And here’s Nastasya with the tea. She is a quick girl. Nastasya, my dear,
won’t you have some beer?”

“Get along with your nonsense!”

“A cup of tea, then?”
“A cup of tea, maybe.”

“Pour it out. Stay, I’ll pour it out myself. Sit down.”

He poured out two cups, left his dinner, and sat on the sofa again. As before,
he put his left arm round the sick man’s head, raised him up and gave him tea in
spoonfuls, again blowing each spoonful steadily and earnestly, as though this
process was the principal and most effective means towards his friend’s recovery.
Raskolnikov said nothing and made no resistance, though he felt quite strong
enough to sit up on the sofa without support and could not merely have held a cup
or a spoon, but even perhaps could have walked about. But from some queer,
almost animal, cunning he conceived the idea of hiding his strength and lying low
for a time, pretending if necessary not to be yet in full possession of his faculties,
and meanwhile listening to find out what was going on. Yet he could not overcome
his sense of repugnance. After sipping a dozen spoonfuls of tea, he suddenly
released his head, pushed the spoon away capriciously, and sank back on the
pillow. There were actually real pillows under his head now, down pillows in clean
cases, he observed that, too, and took note of it.
“Pashenka must give us some raspberry jam to-day to make him some
raspberry tea,” said Razumihin, going back to his chair and attacking his soup and
beer again.

“And where is she to get raspberries for you?” asked Nastasya, balancing a
saucer on her five outspread fingers and sipping tea through a lump of sugar.
“She’ll get it at the shop, my dear. You see, Rodya, all sorts of things have
been happening while you have been laid up. When you decamped in that rascally
way without leaving your address, I felt so angry that I resolved to find you out
and punish you. I set to work that very day. How I ran about making inquiries for
you! This lodging of yours I had forgotten, though I never remembered it, indeed,
because I did not know it; and as for your old lodgings, I could only remember it
was at the Five Corners, Harlamov’s house. I kept trying to find that Harlamov’s
house, and afterwards it turned out that it was not Harlamov’s, but Buch’s. How
one muddles up sound sometimes! So I lost my temper, and I went on the chance
to the address bureau next day, and only fancy, in two minutes they looked you
up! Your name is down there.”

“My name!”

“I should think so; and yet a General Kobelev they could not find while I was
there. Well, it’s a long story. But as soon as I did land on this place, I soon got to
know all your affairs — all, all, brother, I know everything; Nastasya here will tell
you. I made the acquaintance of Nikodim Fomitch and Ilya Petrovitch, and the
house-porter and Mr. Zametov, Alexandr Grigorievitch, the head clerk in the
police office, and, last, but not least, of Pashenka; Nastasya here knows . . . .”

“He’s got round her,” Nastasya murmured, smiling slyly.

“Why don’t you put the sugar in your tea, Nastasya Nikiforovna?”
“You are a one!” Nastasya cried suddenly, going off into a giggle. “I am not
Nikiforovna, but Petrovna,” she added suddenly, recovering from her mirth.

“I’ll make a note of it. Well, brother, to make a long story short, I was going in
for a regular explosion here to uproot all malignant influences in the locality, but
Pashenka won the day. I had not expected, brother, to find her so . . .
prepossessing. Eh, what do you think?”

Raskolnikov did not speak, but he still kept his eyes fixed upon him, full of
alarm.
“And all that could be wished, indeed, in every respect,” Razumihin went on,
not at all embarrassed by his silence.

“Ah, the sly dog!” Nastasya shrieked again. This conversation afforded her
unspeakable delight.
“It’s a pity, brother, that you did not set to work in the right way at first. You
ought to have approached her differently. She is, so to speak, a most
unaccountable character. But we will talk about her character later. . . . How could
you let things come to such a pass that she gave up sending you your dinner? And
that I O U? You must have been mad to sign an I O U. And that promise of
marriage when her daughter, Natalya Yegorovna, was alive? . . . I know all about
it! But I see that’s a delicate matter and I am an ass; forgive me. But, talking of
foolishness, do you know Praskovya Pavlovna is not nearly so foolish as you would
think at first sight?”

“No,” mumbled Raskolnikov, looking away, but feeling that it was better to
keep up the conversation.
“She isn’t, is she?” cried Razumihin, delighted to get an answer out of him.
“But she is not very clever either, eh? She is essentially, essentially an
unaccountable character! I am sometimes quite at a loss, I assure you. . . . She
must be forty; she says she is thirty-six, and of course she has every right to say so.
But I swear I judge her intellectually, simply from the metaphysical point of view;
there is a sort of symbolism sprung up between us, a sort of algebra or what not! I
don’t understand it! Well, that’s all nonsense. Only, seeing that you are not a
student now and have lost your lessons and your clothes, and that through the
young lady’s death she has no need to treat you as a relation, she suddenly took
fright; and as you hid in your den and dropped all your old relations with her, she
planned to get rid of you. And she’s been cherishing that design a long time, but
was sorry to lose the I O U, for you assured her yourself that your mother would
pay.”
“It was base of me to say that. . . . My mother herself is almost a beggar . . .
and I told a lie to keep my lodging . . . and be fed,” Raskolnikov said loudly and
distinctly.
“Yes, you did very sensibly. But the worst of it is that at that point Mr.
Tchebarov turns up, a business man. Pashenka would never have thought of doing
anything on her own account, she is too retiring; but the business man is by no
means retiring, and first thing he puts the question, ‘Is there any hope of realising
the I O U?’ Answer: there is, because he has a mother who would save her Rodya
with her hundred and twenty-five roubles pension, if she has to starve herself; and
a sister, too, who would go into bondage for his sake. That’s what he was building
upon. . . . Why do you start? I know all the ins and outs of your affairs now, my
dear boy — it’s not for nothing that you were so open with Pashenka when you
were her prospective son-in-law, and I say all this as a friend. . . . But I tell you
what it is; an honest and sensitive man is open; and a business man ‘listens and
goes on eating’ you up. Well, then she gave the I O U by way of payment to this
Tchebarov, and without hesitation he made a formal demand for payment. When I
heard of all this I wanted to blow him up, too, to clear my conscience, but by that
time harmony reigned between me and Pashenka, and I insisted on stopping the
whole affair, engaging that you would pay. I went security for you, brother. Do you
understand? We called Tchebarov, flung him ten roubles and got the I O U back
from him, and here I have the honour of presenting it to you. She trusts your word
now. Here, take it, you see I have torn it.”

Razumihin put the note on the table. Raskolnikov looked at him and turned
to the wall without uttering a word. Even Razumihin felt a twinge.
“I see, brother,” he said a moment later, “that I have been playing the fool
again. I thought I should amuse you with my chatter, and I believe I have only
made you cross.”

“Was it you I did not recognise when I was delirious?” Raskolnikov asked,
after a moment’s pause without turning his head.

“Yes, and you flew into a rage about it, especially when I brought Zametov one
day.”
“Zametov? The head clerk? What for?” Raskolnikov turned round quickly and
fixed his eyes on Razumihin.

“What’s the matter with you? . . . What are you upset about? He wanted to
make your acquaintance because I talked to him a lot about you. . . . How could I
have found out so much except from him? He is a capital fellow, brother, first-rate
. . . in his own way, of course. Now we are friends — see each other almost every
day. I have moved into this part, you know. I have only just moved. I’ve been with
him to Luise Ivanovna once or twice. . . . Do you remember Luise, Luise Ivanovna?
“Did I say anything in delirium?”

“I should think so! You were beside yourself.”

 “What did I rave about?”
“What next? What did you rave about? What people do rave about. . . . Well,
brother, now I must not lose time. To work.” He got up from the table and took up
his cap.

“What did I rave about?”

“How he keeps on! Are you afraid of having let out some secret? Don’t worry
yourself; you said nothing about a countess. But you said a lot about a bulldog,
and about ear-rings and chains, and about Krestovsky Island, and some porter,
and Nikodim Fomitch and Ilya Petrovitch, the assistant superintendent. And
another thing that was of special interest to you was your own sock. You whined,
‘Give me my sock.’ Zametov hunted all about your room for your socks, and with
his own scented, ring-bedecked fingers he gave you the rag. And only then were
you comforted, and for the next twenty-four hours you held the wretched thing in
your hand; we could not get it from you. It is most likely somewhere under your
quilt at this moment. And then you asked so piteously for fringe for your trousers.
We tried to find out what sort of fringe, but we could not make it out. Now to
business! Here are thirty-five roubles; I take ten of them, and shall give you an
account of them in an hour or two. I will let Zossimov know at the same time,
though he ought to have been here long ago, for it is nearly twelve. And you,
Nastasya, look in pretty often while I am away, to see whether he wants a drink or
anything else. And I will tell Pashenka what is wanted myself. Good-bye!”
“He calls her Pashenka! Ah, he’s a deep one!” said Nastasya as he went out;
then she opened the door and stood listening, but could not resist running
downstairs after him. She was very eager to hear what he would say to the
landlady. She was evidently quite fascinated by Razumihin.
No sooner had she left the room than the sick man flung off the bedclothes
and leapt out of bed like a madman. With burning, twitching impatience he had
waited for them to be gone so that he might set to work. But to what work? Now,
as though to spite him, it eluded him.
“Good God, only tell me one thing: do they know of it yet or not? What if they
know it and are only pretending, mocking me while I am laid up, and then they
will come in and tell me that it’s been discovered long ago and that they have only
. . . What am I to do now? That’s what I’ve forgotten, as though on purpose;
forgotten it all at once, I remembered a minute ago.”

He stood in the middle of the room and gazed in miserable bewilderment

about him; he walked to the door, opened it, listened; but that was not what he
wanted. Suddenly, as though recalling something, he rushed to the corner where
there was a hole under the paper, began examining it, put his hand into the hole,
fumbled — but that was not it. He went to the stove, opened it and began
rummaging in the ashes; the frayed edges of his trousers and the rags cut off his
pocket were lying there just as he had thrown them. No one had looked, then!
Then he remembered the sock about which Razumihin had just been telling him.
Yes, there it lay on the sofa under the quilt, but it was so covered with dust and
grime that Zametov could not have seen anything on it.

“Bah, Zametov! The police office! And why am I sent for to the police office?
Where’s the notice? Bah! I am mixing it up; that was then. I looked at my sock
then, too, but now . . . now I have been ill. But what did Zametov come for? Why
did Razumihin bring him?” he muttered, helplessly sitting on the sofa again.
“What does it mean? Am I still in delirium, or is it real? I believe it is real. . . . Ah, I
remember; I must escape! Make haste to escape. Yes, I must, I must escape! Yes
. . . but where? And where are my clothes? I’ve no boots. They’ve taken them away!
They’ve hidden them! I understand! Ah, here is my coat — they passed that over!
And here is money on the table, thank God! And here’s the I O U . . . I’ll take the
money and go and take another lodging. They won’t find me! . . . Yes, but the
address bureau? They’ll find me, Razumihin will find me. Better escape altogether
. . . far away . . . to America, and let them do their worst! And take the I O U . . . it
would be of use there. . . . What else shall I take? They think I am ill! They don’t
know that I can walk, ha-ha-ha! I could see by their eyes that they know all about
it! If only I could get downstairs! And what if they have set a watch there —
policemen! What’s this tea? Ah, and here is beer left, half a bottle, cold!”

He snatched up the bottle, which still contained a glassful of beer, and gulped
it down with relish, as though quenching a flame in his breast. But in another
minute the beer had gone to his head, and a faint and even pleasant shiver ran
down his spine. He lay down and pulled the quilt over him. His sick and
incoherent thoughts grew more and more disconnected, and soon a light, pleasant
drowsiness came upon him. With a sense of comfort he nestled his head into the
pillow, wrapped more closely about him the soft, wadded quilt which had replaced
the old, ragged greatcoat, sighed softly and sank into a deep, sound, refreshing
sleep.
He woke up, hearing someone come in. He opened his eyes and saw
Razumihin standing in the doorway, uncertain whether to come in or not.
Raskolnikov sat up quickly on the sofa and gazed at him, as though trying to recall
something.
“Ah, you are not asleep! Here I am! Nastasya, bring in the parcel!” Razumihin
shouted down the stairs. “You shall have the account directly.”

“What time is it?” asked Raskolnikov, looking round uneasily.

“Yes, you had a fine sleep, brother, it’s almost evening, it will be six o’clock
directly. You have slept more than six hours.”

“Good heavens! Have I?”

“And why not? It will do you good. What’s the hurry? A tryst, is it? We’ve all
time before us. I’ve been waiting for the last three hours for you; I’ve been up
twice and found you asleep. I’ve called on Zossimov twice; not at home, only
fancy! But no matter, he will turn up. And I’ve been out on my own business, too.
You know I’ve been moving to-day, moving with my uncle. I have an uncle living
with me now. But that’s no matter, to business. Give me the parcel, Nastasya. We
will open it directly. And how do you feel now, brother?”

“I am quite well, I am not ill. Razumihin, have you been here long?”

“I tell you I’ve been waiting for the last three hours.”

“No, before.”
“How do you mean?”

“How long have you been coming here?”

“Why I told you all about it this morning. Don’t you remember?”

Raskolnikov pondered. The morning seemed like a dream to him. He could

not remember alone, and looked inquiringly at Razumihin.

“Hm!” said the latter, “he has forgotten. I fancied then that you were not quite
yourself. Now you are better for your sleep. . . . You really look much better. First-
rate! Well, to business. Look here, my dear boy.”
 He began untying the bundle, which evidently interested him.

“Believe me, brother, this is something specially near my heart. For we must
make a man of you. Let’s begin from the top. Do you see this cap?” he said, taking
out of the bundle a fairly good though cheap and ordinary cap. “Let me try it on.”

“Presently, afterwards,” said Raskolnikov, waving it off pettishly.

“Come, Rodya, my boy, don’t oppose it, afterwards will be too late; and I
shan’t sleep all night, for I bought it by guess, without measure. Just right!” he
cried triumphantly, fitting it on, “just your size! A proper head-covering is the first
thing in dress and a recommendation in its own way. Tolstyakov, a friend of mine,
is always obliged to take off his pudding basin when he goes into any public place
where other people wear their hats or caps. People think he does it from slavish
politeness, but it’s simply because he is ashamed of his bird’s nest; he is such a
boastful fellow! Look, Nastasya, here are two specimens of headgear: this
Palmerston”— he took from the corner Raskolnikov’s old, battered hat, which for
some unknown reason, he called a Palmerston —“or this jewel! Guess the price,
Rodya, what do you suppose I paid for it, Nastasya!” he said, turning to her, seeing
that Raskolnikov did not speak.

“Twenty copecks, no more, I dare say,” answered Nastasya.

“Twenty copecks, silly!” he cried, offended. “Why, nowadays you would cost
more than that — eighty copecks! And that only because it has been worn. And it’s
bought on condition that when’s it’s worn out, they will give you another next
year. Yes, on my word! Well, now let us pass to the United States of America, as
they called them at school. I assure you I am proud of these breeches,” and he
exhibited to Raskolnikov a pair of light, summer trousers of grey woollen material.
“No holes, no spots, and quite respectable, although a little worn; and a waistcoat
to match, quite in the fashion. And its being worn really is an improvement, it’s
softer, smoother. . . . You see, Rodya, to my thinking, the great thing for getting on
in the world is always to keep to the seasons; if you don’t insist on having
asparagus in January, you keep your money in your purse; and it’s the same with
this purchase. It’s summer now, so I’ve been buying summer things — warmer
materials will be wanted for autumn, so you will have to throw these away in any
case . . . especially as they will be done for by then from their own lack of
coherence if not your higher standard of luxury. Come, price them! What do you
say? Two roubles twenty-five copecks! And remember the condition: if you wear
these out, you will have another suit for nothing! They only do business on that
system at Fedyaev’s; if you’ve bought a thing once, you are satisfied for life, for you
will never go there again of your own free will. Now for the boots. What do you
say? You see that they are a bit worn, but they’ll last a couple of months, for it’s
foreign work and foreign leather; the secretary of the English Embassy sold them
last week — he had only worn them six days, but he was very short of cash. Price —
a rouble and a half. A bargain?”

“But perhaps they won’t fit,” observed Nastasya.

“Not fit? Just look!” and he pulled out of his pocket Raskolnikov’s old, broken
boot, stiffly coated with dry mud. “I did not go empty-handed — they took the size
from this monster. We all did our best. And as to your linen, your landlady has
seen to that. Here, to begin with are three shirts, hempen but with a fashionable
front. . . . Well now then, eighty copecks the cap, two roubles twenty-five copecks
the suit — together three roubles five copecks — a rouble and a half for the boots
— for, you see, they are very good — and that makes four roubles fifty-five
copecks; five roubles for the underclothes — they were bought in the lo — which
makes exactly nine roubles fifty-five copecks. Forty-five copecks change in
coppers. Will you take it? And so, Rodya, you are set up with a complete new rig-
out, for your overcoat will serve, and even has a style of its own. That comes from
getting one’s clothes from Sharmer’s! As for your socks and other things, I leave
them to you; we’ve twenty-five roubles left. And as for Pashenka and paying for
your lodging, don’t you worry. I tell you she’ll trust you for anything. And now,
brother, let me change your linen, for I daresay you will throw off your illness with
your shirt.”

“Let me be! I don’t want to!” Raskolnikov waved him off. He had listened with
disgust to Razumihin’s efforts to be playful about his purchases.

“Come, brother, don’t tell me I’ve been trudging around for nothing,”
Razumihin insisted. “Nastasya, don’t be bashful, but help me — that’s it,” and in
spite of Raskolnikov’s resistance he changed his linen. The latter sank back on the
pillows and for a minute or two said nothing.

“It will be long before I get rid of them,” he thought. “What money was all that
bought with?” he asked at last, gazing at the wall.

“Money? Why, your own, what the messenger brought from Vahrushin, your
mother sent it. Have you forgotten that, too?”

“I remember now,” said Raskolnikov after a long, sullen silence. Razumihin

looked at him, frowning and uneasy.
The door opened and a tall, stout man whose appearance seemed familiar to
Raskolnikov came in.
 CHAPTER IV

Zossimov was a tall, fat man with a puffy, colourless, clean-shaven face and
straight flaxen hair. He wore spectacles, and a big gold ring on his fat finger. He
was twenty-seven. He had on a light grey fashionable loose coat, light summer
trousers, and everything about him loose, fashionable and spick and span; his
linen was irreproachable, his watch-chain was massive. In manner he was slow
and, as it were, nonchalant, and at the same time studiously free and easy; he
made efforts to conceal his self-importance, but it was apparent at every instant.
All his acquaintances found him tedious, but said he was clever at his work.
“I’ve been to you twice to-day, brother. You see, he’s come to himself,” cried
Razumihin.
“I see, I see; and how do we feel now, eh?” said Zossimov to Raskolnikov,
watching him carefully and, sitting down at the foot of the sofa, he settled himself
as comfortably as he could.

“He is still depressed,” Razumihin went on. “We’ve just changed his linen and
he almost cried.”

“That’s very natural; you might have put it off if he did not wish it. . . . His
pulse is first-rate. Is your head still aching, eh?”

“I am well, I am perfectly well!” Raskolnikov declared positively and irritably.

He raised himself on the sofa and looked at them with glittering eyes, but sank
back on to the pillow at once and turned to the wall. Zossimov watched him
intently.
“Very good. . . . Going on all right,” he said lazily. “Has he eaten anything?”

They told him, and asked what he might have.

“He may have anything . . . soup, tea . . . mushrooms and cucumbers, of
course, you must not give him; he’d better not have meat either, and . . . but no
need to tell you that!” Razumihin and he looked at each other. “No more medicine
or anything. I’ll look at him again to-morrow. Perhaps, to-day even . . . but never
mind …”

“To-morrow evening I shall take him for a walk,” said Razumihin. “We are
going to the Yusupov garden and then to the Palais de Crystal.”
 “I would not disturb him to-morrow at all, but I don’t know . . . a little, maybe
. . . but we’ll see.”
“Ach, what a nuisance! I’ve got a house-warming party to-night; it’s only a
step from here. Couldn’t he come? He could lie on the sofa. You are coming?”
Razumihin said to Zossimov. “Don’t forget, you promised.”

“All right, only rather later. What are you going to do?”
“Oh, nothing — tea, vodka, herrings. There will be a pie . . . just our friends.”

“And who?”
“All neighbours here, almost all new friends, except my old uncle, and he is
new too — he only arrived in Petersburg yesterday to see to some business of his.
We meet once in five years.”
“What is he?”

“He’s been stagnating all his life as a district postmaster; gets a little pension.
He is sixty-five — not worth talking about. . . . But I am fond of him. Porfiry
Petrovitch, the head of the Investigation Department here . . . But you know him.”

“Is he a relation of yours, too?”

“A very distant one. But why are you scowling? Because you quarrelled once,
won’t you come then?”
“I don’t care a damn for him.”

“So much the better. Well, there will be some students, a teacher, a
government clerk, a musician, an officer and Zametov.”

“Do tell me, please, what you or he”— Zossimov nodded at Raskolnikov —
“can have in common with this Zametov?”

“Oh, you particular gentleman! Principles! You are worked by principles, as it

were by springs; you won’t venture to turn round on your own account. If a man is
a nice fellow, that’s the only principle I go upon. Zametov is a delightful person.”
“Though he does take bribes.”

“Well, he does! and what of it? I don’t care if he does take bribes,” Razumihin
cried with unnatural irritability. “I don’t praise him for taking bribes. I only say he
is a nice man in his own way! But if one looks at men in all ways — are there many
good ones left? Why, I am sure I shouldn’t be worth a baked onion myself . . .
perhaps with you thrown in.”

“That’s too little; I’d give two for you.”

“And I wouldn’t give more than one for you. No more of your jokes! Zametov
is no more than a boy. I can pull his hair and one must draw him not repel him.
You’ll never improve a man by repelling him, especially a boy. One has to be twice
as careful with a boy. Oh, you progressive dullards! You don’t understand. You
harm yourselves running another man down . . . . But if you want to know, we
really have something in common.”
“I should like to know what.”

“Why, it’s all about a house-painter. . . . We are getting him out of a mess!
Though indeed there’s nothing to fear now. The matter is absolutely self-evident.
We only put on steam.”

“A painter?”

“Why, haven’t I told you about it? I only told you the beginning then about the
murder of the old pawnbroker-woman. Well, the painter is mixed up in it …”

“Oh, I heard about that murder before and was rather interested in it . . .
partly . . . for one reason. . . . I read about it in the papers, too . . . .”
“Lizaveta was murdered, too,” Nastasya blurted out, suddenly addressing
Raskolnikov. She remained in the room all the time, standing by the door
listening.

“Lizaveta,” murmured Raskolnikov hardly audibly.

“Lizaveta, who sold old clothes. Didn’t you know her? She used to come here.
She mended a shirt for you, too.”
Raskolnikov turned to the wall where in the dirty, yellow paper he picked out
one clumsy, white flower with brown lines on it and began examining how many
petals there were in it, how many scallops in the petals and how many lines on
them. He felt his arms and legs as lifeless as though they had been cut off. He did
not attempt to move, but stared obstinately at the flower.

“But what about the painter?” Zossimov interrupted Nastasya’s chatter with
marked displeasure. She sighed and was silent.
 “Why, he was accused of the murder,” Razumihin went on hotly.
“Was there evidence against him then?”
“Evidence, indeed! Evidence that was no evidence, and that’s what we have to
prove. It was just as they pitched on those fellows, Koch and Pestryakov, at first.
Foo! how stupidly it’s all done, it makes one sick, though it’s not one’s business!
Pestryakov may be coming to-night. . . . By the way, Rodya, you’ve heard about the
business already; it happened before you were ill, the day before you fainted at the
police office while they were talking about it.”
Zossimov looked curiously at Raskolnikov. He did not stir.

“But I say, Razumihin, I wonder at you. What a busybody you are!” Zossimov
observed.

“Maybe I am, but we will get him off anyway,” shouted Razumihin, bringing
his fist down on the table. “What’s the most offensive is not their lying — one can
always forgive lying — lying is a delightful thing, for it leads to truth — what is
offensive is that they lie and worship their own lying. . . . I respect Porfiry, but . . .
What threw them out at first? The door was locked, and when they came back with
the porter it was open. So it followed that Koch and Pestryakov were the
murderers — that was their logic!”
“But don’t excite yourself; they simply detained them, they could not help
that. . . . And, by the way, I’ve met that man Koch. He used to buy unredeemed
pledges from the old woman? Eh?”

“Yes, he is a swindler. He buys up bad debts, too. He makes a profession of it.

But enough of him! Do you know what makes me angry? It’s their sickening
rotten, petrified routine. . . . And this case might be the means of introducing a
new method. One can show from the psychological data alone how to get on the
track of the real man. ‘We have facts,’ they say. But facts are not everything — at
least half the business lies in how you interpret them!”
“Can you interpret them, then?”

“Anyway, one can’t hold one’s tongue when one has a feeling, a tangible
feeling, that one might be a help if only . . . . Eh! Do you know the details of the
case?”
“I am waiting to hear about the painter.”
 “Oh, yes! Well, here’s the story. Early on the third day after the murder, when
they were still dandling Koch and Pestryakov — though they accounted for every
step they took and it was as plain as a pikestaff-an unexpected fact turned up. A
peasant called Dushkin, who keeps a dram-shop facing the house, brought to the
police office a jeweller’s case containing some gold ear-rings, and told a long
rigamarole. ‘The day before yesterday, just after eight o’clock’— mark the day and
the hour! —‘a journeyman house-painter, Nikolay, who had been in to see me
already that day, brought me this box of gold ear-rings and stones, and asked me
to give him two roubles for them. When I asked him where he got them, he said
that he picked them up in the street. I did not ask him anything more.’ I am telling
you Dushkin’s story. ‘I gave him a note’— a rouble that is —‘for I thought if he did
not pawn it with me he would with another. It would all come to the same thing —
he’d spend it on drink, so the thing had better be with me. The further you hide it
the quicker you will find it, and if anything turns up, if I hear any rumours, I’ll
take it to the police.’ Of course, that’s all taradiddle; he lies like a horse, for I know
this Dushkin, he is a pawnbroker and a receiver of stolen goods, and he did not
cheat Nikolay out of a thirty-rouble trinket in order to give it to the police. He was
simply afraid. But no matter, to return to Dushkin’s story. ‘I’ve known this
peasant, Nikolay Dementyev, from a child; he comes from the same province and
district of Zaraïsk, we are both Ryazan men. And though Nikolay is not a
drunkard, he drinks, and I knew he had a job in that house, painting work with
Dmitri, who comes from the same village, too. As soon as he got the rouble he
changed it, had a couple of glasses, took his change and went out. But I did not see
Dmitri with him then. And the next day I heard that someone had murdered
Alyona Ivanovna and her sister, Lizaveta Ivanovna, with an axe. I knew them, and
I felt suspicious about the ear-rings at once, for I knew the murdered woman lent
money on pledges. I went to the house, and began to make careful inquiries
without saying a word to anyone. First of all I asked, “Is Nikolay here?” Dmitri
told me that Nikolay had gone off on the spree; he had come home at daybreak
drunk, stayed in the house about ten minutes, and went out again. Dmitri didn’t
see him again and is finishing the job alone. And their job is on the same staircase
as the murder, on the second floor. When I heard all that I did not say a word to
anyone’— that’s Dushkin’s tale —‘but I found out what I could about the murder,
and went home feeling as suspicious as ever. And at eight o’clock this morning’—
that was the third day, you understand —‘I saw Nikolay coming in, not sober,
though not to say very drunk — he could understand what was said to him. He sat
down on the bench and did not speak. There was only one stranger in the bar and
a man I knew asleep on a bench and our two boys. “Have you seen Dmitri?” said I.
“No, I haven’t,” said he. “And you’ve not been here either?” “Not since the day
before yesterday,” said he. “And where did you sleep last night?” “In Peski, with
the Kolomensky men.” “And where did you get those ear-rings?” I asked. “I found
them in the street,” and the way he said it was a bit queer; he did not look at me.
“Did you hear what happened that very evening, at that very hour, on that same
staircase?” said I. “No,” said he, “I had not heard,” and all the while he was
listening, his eyes were staring out of his head and he turned as white as chalk. I
told him all about it and he took his hat and began getting up. I wanted to keep
him. “Wait a bit, Nikolay,” said I, “won’t you have a drink?” And I signed to the
boy to hold the door, and I came out from behind the bar; but he darted out and
down the street to the turning at a run. I have not seen him since. Then my doubts
were at an end — it was his doing, as clear as could be . . . .’”
“I should think so,” said Zossimov.

“Wait! Hear the end. Of course they sought high and low for Nikolay; they
detained Dushkin and searched his house; Dmitri, too, was arrested; the
Kolomensky men also were turned inside out. And the day before yesterday they
arrested Nikolay in a tavern at the end of the town. He had gone there, taken the
silver cross off his neck and asked for a dram for it. They gave it to him. A few
minutes afterwards the woman went to the cowshed, and through a crack in the
wall she saw in the stable adjoining he had made a noose of his sash from the
beam, stood on a block of wood, and was trying to put his neck in the noose. The
woman screeched her hardest; people ran in. ‘So that’s what you are up to!’ ‘Take
me,’ he says, ‘to such-and-such a police officer; I’ll confess everything.’ Well, they
took him to that police station — that is here — with a suitable escort. So they
asked him this and that, how old he is, ‘twenty-two,’ and so on. At the question,
‘When you were working with Dmitri, didn’t you see anyone on the staircase at
such-and-such a time?’— answer: ‘To be sure folks may have gone up and down,
but I did not notice them.’ ‘And didn’t you hear anything, any noise, and so on?’
‘We heard nothing special.’ ‘And did you hear, Nikolay, that on the same day
Widow So-and-so and her sister were murdered and robbed?’ ‘I never knew a
thing about it. The first I heard of it was from Afanasy Pavlovitch the day before
yesterday.’ ‘And where did you find the ear-rings?’ ‘I found them on the pavement.
“Why didn’t you go to work with Dmitri the other day?’ ‘Because I was drinking.’
‘And where were you drinking?’ ‘Oh, in such-and-such a place.’ ‘Why did you run
away from Dushkin’s?’ ‘Because I was awfully frightened.’ ‘What were you
frightened of?’ ‘That I should be accused.’ ‘How could you be frightened, if you felt
free from guilt?’ Now, Zossimov, you may not believe me, that question was put
literally in those words. I know it for a fact, it was repeated to me exactly! What do
you say to that?”

“Well, anyway, there’s the evidence.”

“I am not talking of the evidence now, I am talking about that question, of
their own idea of themselves. Well, so they squeezed and squeezed him and he
confessed: ‘I did not find it in the street, but in the flat where I was painting with
Dmitri.’ ‘And how was that?’ ‘Why, Dmitri and I were painting there all day, and
we were just getting ready to go, and Dmitri took a brush and painted my face, and
he ran off and I after him. I ran after him, shouting my hardest, and at the bottom
of the stairs I ran right against the porter and some gentlemen — and how many
gentlemen were there I don’t remember. And the porter swore at me, and the
other porter swore, too, and the porter’s wife came out, and swore at us, too; and a
gentleman came into the entry with a lady, and he swore at us, too, for Dmitri and
I lay right across the way. I got hold of Dmitri’s hair and knocked him down and
began beating him. And Dmitri, too, caught me by the hair and began beating me.
But we did it all not for temper but in a friendly way, for sport. And then Dmitri
escaped and ran into the street, and I ran after him; but I did not catch him, and
went back to the flat alone; I had to clear up my things. I began putting them
together, expecting Dmitri to come, and there in the passage, in the corner by the
door, I stepped on the box. I saw it lying there wrapped up in paper. I took off the
paper, saw some little hooks, undid them, and in the box were the ear-rings . . . .’”

“Behind the door? Lying behind the door? Behind the door?” Raskolnikov
cried suddenly, staring with a blank look of terror at Razumihin, and he slowly sat
up on the sofa, leaning on his hand.
“Yes . . . why? What’s the matter? What’s wrong?” Razumihin, too, got up
from his seat.

“Nothing,” Raskolnikov answered faintly, turning to the wall. All were silent
for a while.
 “He must have waked from a dream,” Razumihin said at last, looking
inquiringly at Zossimov. The latter slightly shook his head.

“Well, go on,” said Zossimov. “What next?”

“What next? As soon as he saw the ear-rings, forgetting Dmitri and
everything, he took up his cap and ran to Dushkin and, as we know, got a rouble
from him. He told a lie saying he found them in the street, and went off drinking.
He keeps repeating his old story about the murder: ‘I know nothing of it, never
heard of it till the day before yesterday.’ ‘And why didn’t you come to the police till
now?’ ‘I was frightened.’ ‘And why did you try to hang yourself?’ ‘From anxiety.’
‘What anxiety?’ ‘That I should be accused of it.’ Well, that’s the whole story. And
now what do you suppose they deduced from that?”
“Why, there’s no supposing. There’s a clue, such as it is, a fact. You wouldn’t
have your painter set free?”

“Now they’ve simply taken him for the murderer. They haven’t a shadow of
doubt.”

“That’s nonsense. You are excited. But what about the ear-rings? You must
admit that, if on the very same day and hour ear-rings from the old woman’s box
have come into Nikolay’s hands, they must have come there somehow. That’s a
good deal in such a case.”

“How did they get there? How did they get there?” cried Razumihin. “How
can you, a doctor, whose duty it is to study man and who has more opportunity
than anyone else for studying human nature — how can you fail to see the
character of the man in the whole story? Don’t you see at once that the answers he
has given in the examination are the holy truth? They came into his hand precisely
as he has told us — he stepped on the box and picked it up.”

“The holy truth! But didn’t he own himself that he told a lie at first?”
“Listen to me, listen attentively. The porter and Koch and Pestryakov and the
other porter and the wife of the first porter and the woman who was sitting in the
porter’s lodge and the man Kryukov, who had just got out of a cab at that minute
and went in at the entry with a lady on his arm, that is eight or ten witnesses,
agree that Nikolay had Dmitri on the ground, was lying on him beating him, while
Dmitri hung on to his hair, beating him, too. They lay right across the way,
blocking the thoroughfare. They were sworn at on all sides while they ‘like
children’ (the very words of the witnesses) were falling over one another,
squealing, fighting and laughing with the funniest faces, and, chasing one another
like children, they ran into the street. Now take careful note. The bodies upstairs
were warm, you understand, warm when they found them! If they, or Nikolay
alone, had murdered them and broken open the boxes, or simply taken part in the
robbery, allow me to ask you one question: do their state of mind, their squeals
and giggles and childish scuffling at the gate fit in with axes, bloodshed, fiendish
cunning, robbery? They’d just killed them, not five or ten minutes before, for the
bodies were still warm, and at once, leaving the flat open, knowing that people
would go there at once, flinging away their booty, they rolled about like children,
laughing and attracting general attention. And there are a dozen witnesses to
swear to that!”

“Of course it is strange! It’s impossible, indeed, but …”

“No, brother, no buts. And if the ear-rings being found in Nikolay’s hands at
the very day and hour of the murder constitutes an important piece of
circumstantial evidence against him — although the explanation given by him
accounts for it, and therefore it does not tell seriously against him — one must
take into consideration the facts which prove him innocent, especially as they are
facts that cannot be denied. And do you suppose, from the character of our legal
system, that they will accept, or that they are in a position to accept, this fact —
resting simply on a psychological impossibility — as irrefutable and conclusively
breaking down the circumstantial evidence for the prosecution? No, they won’t
accept it, they certainly won’t, because they found the jewel-case and the man
tried to hang himself, ‘which he could not have done if he hadn’t felt guilty.’ That’s
the point, that’s what excites me, you must understand!”

“Oh, I see you are excited! Wait a bit. I forgot to ask you; what proof is there
that the box came from the old woman?”

“That’s been proved,” said Razumihin with apparent reluctance, frowning.

“Koch recognised the jewel-case and gave the name of the owner, who proved
conclusively that it was his.”

“That’s bad. Now another point. Did anyone see Nikolay at the time that Koch
and Pestryakov were going upstairs at first, and is there no evidence about that?”

“Nobody did see him,” Razumihin answered with vexation. “That’s the worst
of it. Even Koch and Pestryakov did not notice them on their way upstairs, though,
indeed, their evidence could not have been worth much. They said they saw the
flat was open, and that there must be work going on in it, but they took no special
notice and could not remember whether there actually were men at work in it.”
“Hm! . . . So the only evidence for the defence is that they were beating one
another and laughing. That constitutes a strong presumption, but . . . How do you
explain the facts yourself?”
“How do I explain them? What is there to explain? It’s clear. At any rate, the
direction in which explanation is to be sought is clear, and the jewel-case points to
it. The real murderer dropped those ear-rings. The murderer was upstairs, locked
in, when Koch and Pestryakov knocked at the door. Koch, like an ass, did not stay
at the door; so the murderer popped out and ran down, too; for he had no other
way of escape. He hid from Koch, Pestryakov and the porter in the flat when
Nikolay and Dmitri had just run out of it. He stopped there while the porter and
others were going upstairs, waited till they were out of hearing, and then went
calmly downstairs at the very minute when Dmitri and Nikolay ran out into the
street and there was no one in the entry; possibly he was seen, but not noticed.
There are lots of people going in and out. He must have dropped the ear-rings out
of his pocket when he stood behind the door, and did not notice he dropped them,
because he had other things to think of. The jewel-case is a conclusive proof that
he did stand there. . . . That’s how I explain it.”

“Too clever! No, my boy, you’re too clever. That beats everything.”

“But, why, why?”

“Why, because everything fits too well . . . it’s too melodramatic.”

“A-ach!” Razumihin was exclaiming, but at that moment the door opened and
a personage came in who was a stranger to all present.
 CHAPTER V

This was a gentleman no longer young, of a stiff and portly appearance, and a
cautious and sour countenance. He began by stopping short in the doorway,
staring about him with offensive and undisguised astonishment, as though asking
himself what sort of place he had come to. Mistrustfully and with an affectation of
being alarmed and almost affronted, he scanned Raskolnikov’s low and narrow
“cabin.” With the same amazement he stared at Raskolnikov, who lay undressed,
dishevelled, unwashed, on his miserable dirty sofa, looking fixedly at him. Then
with the same deliberation he scrutinised the uncouth, unkempt figure and
unshaven face of Razumihin, who looked him boldly and inquiringly in the face
without rising from his seat. A constrained silence lasted for a couple of minutes,
and then, as might be expected, some scene-shifting took place. Reflecting,
probably from certain fairly unmistakable signs, that he would get nothing in this
“cabin” by attempting to overawe them, the gentleman softened somewhat, and
civilly, though with some severity, emphasising every syllable of his question,
addressed Zossimov:

“Rodion Romanovitch Raskolnikov, a student, or formerly a student?”

Zossimov made a slight movement, and would have answered, had not
Razumihin anticipated him.

“Here he is lying on the sofa! What do you want?”

This familiar “what do you want” seemed to cut the ground from the feet of
the pompous gentleman. He was turning to Razumihin, but checked himself in
time and turned to Zossimov again.

“This is Raskolnikov,” mumbled Zossimov, nodding towards him. Then he

gave a prolonged yawn, opening his mouth as wide as possible. Then he lazily put
his hand into his waistcoat-pocket, pulled out a huge gold watch in a round
hunter’s case, opened it, looked at it and as slowly and lazily proceeded to put it
back.

Raskolnikov himself lay without speaking, on his back, gazing persistently,

though without understanding, at the stranger. Now that his face was turned away
from the strange flower on the paper, it was extremely pale and wore a look of
anguish, as though he had just undergone an agonising operation or just been
taken from the rack. But the new-comer gradually began to arouse his attention,
then his wonder, then suspicion and even alarm. When Zossimov said “This is
Raskolnikov” he jumped up quickly, sat on the sofa and with an almost defiant,
but weak and breaking, voice articulated:
“Yes, I am Raskolnikov! What do you want?”

The visitor scrutinised him and pronounced impressively:

“Pyotr Petrovitch Luzhin. I believe I have reason to hope that my name is not
wholly unknown to you?”

But Raskolnikov, who had expected something quite different, gazed blankly
and dreamily at him, making no reply, as though he heard the name of Pyotr
Petrovitch for the first time.

“Is it possible that you can up to the present have received no information?”
asked Pyotr Petrovitch, somewhat disconcerted.
In reply Raskolnikov sank languidly back on the pillow, put his hands behind
his head and gazed at the ceiling. A look of dismay came into Luzhin’s face.
Zossimov and Razumihin stared at him more inquisitively than ever, and at last he
showed unmistakable signs of embarrassment.
“I had presumed and calculated,” he faltered, “that a letter posted more than
ten days, if not a fortnight ago …”

“I say, why are you standing in the doorway?” Razumihin interrupted

suddenly. “If you’ve something to say, sit down. Nastasya and you are so crowded.
Nastasya, make room. Here’s a chair, thread your way in!”

He moved his chair back from the table, made a little space between the table
and his knees, and waited in a rather cramped position for the visitor to “thread
his way in.” The minute was so chosen that it was impossible to refuse, and the
visitor squeezed his way through, hurrying and stumbling. Reaching the chair, he
sat down, looking suspiciously at Razumihin.

“No need to be nervous,” the latter blurted out. “Rodya has been ill for the last
five days and delirious for three, but now he is recovering and has got an appetite.
This is his doctor, who has just had a look at him. I am a comrade of Rodya’s, like
him, formerly a student, and now I am nursing him; so don’t you take any notice
of us, but go on with your business.”
 “Thank you. But shall I not disturb the invalid by my presence and
conversation?” Pyotr Petrovitch asked of Zossimov.

“N-no,” mumbled Zossimov; “you may amuse him.” He yawned again.

“He has been conscious a long time, since the morning,” went on Razumihin,
whose familiarity seemed so much like unaffected good-nature that Pyotr
Petrovitch began to be more cheerful, partly, perhaps, because this shabby and
impudent person had introduced himself as a student.
“Your mamma,” began Luzhin.

“Hm!” Razumihin cleared his throat loudly. Luzhin looked at him inquiringly.

“That’s all right, go on.”

Luzhin shrugged his shoulders.

“Your mamma had commenced a letter to you while I was sojourning in her
neighbourhood. On my arrival here I purposely allowed a few days to elapse
before coming to see you, in order that I might be fully assured that you were in
full possession of the tidings; but now, to my astonishment …”

“I know, I know!” Raskolnikov cried suddenly with impatient vexation. “So

you are the fiancé? I know, and that’s enough!”

There was no doubt about Pyotr Petrovitch’s being offended this time, but he
said nothing. He made a violent effort to understand what it all meant. There was
a moment’s silence.
Meanwhile Raskolnikov, who had turned a little towards him when he
answered, began suddenly staring at him again with marked curiosity, as though
he had not had a good look at him yet, or as though something new had struck
him; he rose from his pillow on purpose to stare at him. There certainly was
something peculiar in Pyotr Petrovitch’s whole appearance, something which
seemed to justify the title of “fiancé” so unceremoniously applied to him. In the
first place, it was evident, far too much so indeed, that Pyotr Petrovitch had made
eager use of his few days in the capital to get himself up and rig himself out in
expectation of his betrothed — a perfectly innocent and permissible proceeding,
indeed. Even his own, perhaps too complacent, consciousness of the agreeable
improvement in his appearance might have been forgiven in such circumstances,
seeing that Pyotr Petrovitch had taken up the rôle of fiancé. All his clothes were
fresh from the tailor’s and were all right, except for being too new and too
distinctly appropriate. Even the stylish new round hat had the same significance.
Pyotr Petrovitch treated it too respectfully and held it too carefully in his hands.
The exquisite pair of lavender gloves, real Louvain, told the same tale, if only from
the fact of his not wearing them, but carrying them in his hand for show. Light and
youthful colours predominated in Pyotr Petrovitch’s attire. He wore a charming
summer jacket of a fawn shade, light thin trousers, a waistcoat of the same, new
and fine linen, a cravat of the lightest cambric with pink stripes on it, and the best
of it was, this all suited Pyotr Petrovitch. His very fresh and even handsome face
looked younger than his forty-five years at all times. His dark, mutton-chop
whiskers made an agreeable setting on both sides, growing thickly upon his
shining, clean-shaven chin. Even his hair, touched here and there with grey,
though it had been combed and curled at a hairdresser’s, did not give him a stupid
appearance, as curled hair usually does, by inevitably suggesting a German on his
wedding-day. If there really was something unpleasing and repulsive in his rather
good-looking and imposing countenance, it was due to quite other causes. After
scanning Mr. Luzhin unceremoniously, Raskolnikov smiled malignantly, sank
back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling as before.
But Mr. Luzhin hardened his heart and seemed to determine to take no notice
of their oddities.

“I feel the greatest regret at finding you in this situation,” he began, again
breaking the silence with an effort. “If I had been aware of your illness I should
have come earlier. But you know what business is. I have, too, a very important
legal affair in the Senate, not to mention other preoccupations which you may well
conjecture. I am expecting your mamma and sister any minute.”
Raskolnikov made a movement and seemed about to speak; his face showed
some excitement. Pyotr Petrovitch paused, waited, but as nothing followed, he
went on:

“ . . . Any minute. I have found a lodging for them on their arrival.”

“Where?” asked Raskolnikov weakly.
“Very near here, in Bakaleyev’s house.”

“That’s in Voskresensky,” put in Razumihin. “There are two storeys of rooms,

let by a merchant called Yushin; I’ve been there.”
 “Yes, rooms …”
“A disgusting place — filthy, stinking and, what’s more, of doubtful character.
Things have happened there, and there are all sorts of queer people living there.
And I went there about a scandalous business. It’s cheap, though …”

“I could not, of course, find out so much about it, for I am a stranger in
Petersburg myself,” Pyotr Petrovitch replied huffily. “However, the two rooms are
exceedingly clean, and as it is for so short a time . . . I have already taken a
permanent, that is, our future flat,” he said, addressing Raskolnikov, “and I am
having it done up. And meanwhile I am myself cramped for room in a lodging with
my friend Andrey Semyonovitch Lebeziatnikov, in the flat of Madame
Lippevechsel; it was he who told me of Bakaleyev’s house, too …”
“Lebeziatnikov?” said Raskolnikov slowly, as if recalling something.
“Yes, Andrey Semyonovitch Lebeziatnikov, a clerk in the Ministry. Do you
know him?”
“Yes . . . no,” Raskolnikov answered.

“Excuse me, I fancied so from your inquiry. I was once his guardian. . . . A
very nice young man and advanced. I like to meet young people: one learns new
things from them.” Luzhin looked round hopefully at them all.
“How do you mean?” asked Razumihin.
“In the most serious and essential matters,” Pyotr Petrovitch replied, as
though delighted at the question. “You see, it’s ten years since I visited Petersburg.
All the novelties, reforms, ideas have reached us in the provinces, but to see it all
more clearly one must be in Petersburg. And it’s my notion that you observe and
learn most by watching the younger generation. And I confess I am delighted …”
“At what?”
“Your question is a wide one. I may be mistaken, but I fancy I find clearer
views, more, so to say, criticism, more practicality …”
“That’s true,” Zossimov let drop.

“Nonsense! There’s no practicality.” Razumihin flew at him. “Practicality is a

difficult thing to find; it does not drop down from heaven. And for the last two
hundred years we have been divorced from all practical life. Ideas, if you like, are
fermenting,” he said to Pyotr Petrovitch, “and desire for good exists, though it’s in
a childish form, and honesty you may find, although there are crowds of brigands.
Anyway, there’s no practicality. Practicality goes well shod.”
“I don’t agree with you,” Pyotr Petrovitch replied, with evident enjoyment. “Of
course, people do get carried away and make mistakes, but one must have
indulgence; those mistakes are merely evidence of enthusiasm for the cause and of
abnormal external environment. If little has been done, the time has been but
short; of means I will not speak. It’s my personal view, if you care to know, that
something has been accomplished already. New valuable ideas, new valuable
works are circulating in the place of our old dreamy and romantic authors.
Literature is taking a maturer form, many injurious prejudice have been rooted up
and turned into ridicule. . . . In a word, we have cut ourselves off irrevocably from
the past, and that, to my thinking, is a great thing …”

“He’s learnt it by heart to show off!” Raskolnikov pronounced suddenly.

“What?” asked Pyotr Petrovitch, not catching his words; but he received no
reply.

“That’s all true,” Zossimov hastened to interpose.

“Isn’t it so?” Pyotr Petrovitch went on, glancing affably at Zossimov. “You
must admit,” he went on, addressing Razumihin with a shade of triumph and
superciliousness — he almost added “young man”—“that there is an advance, or,
as they say now, progress in the name of science and economic truth …”
“A commonplace.”

“No, not a commonplace! Hitherto, for instance, if I were told, ‘love thy
neighbour,’ what came of it?” Pyotr Petrovitch went on, perhaps with excessive
haste. “It came to my tearing my coat in half to share with my neighbour and we
both were left half naked. As a Russian proverb has it, ‘Catch several hares and
you won’t catch one.’ Science now tells us, love yourself before all men, for
everything in the world rests on self-interest. You love yourself and manage your
own affairs properly and your coat remains whole. Economic truth adds that the
better private affairs are organised in society — the more whole coats, so to say —
the firmer are its foundations and the better is the common welfare organised too.
Therefore, in acquiring wealth solely and exclusively for myself, I am acquiring, so
to speak, for all, and helping to bring to pass my neighbour’s getting a little more
than a torn coat; and that not from private, personal liberality, but as a
consequence of the general advance. The idea is simple, but unhappily it has been
a long time reaching us, being hindered by idealism and sentimentality. And yet it
would seem to want very little wit to perceive it …”

“Excuse me, I’ve very little wit myself,” Razumihin cut in sharply, “and so let
us drop it. I began this discussion with an object, but I’ve grown so sick during the
last three years of this chattering to amuse oneself, of this incessant flow of
commonplaces, always the same, that, by Jove, I blush even when other people
talk like that. You are in a hurry, no doubt, to exhibit your acquirements; and I
don’t blame you, that’s quite pardonable. I only wanted to find out what sort of
man you are, for so many unscrupulous people have got hold of the progressive
cause of late and have so distorted in their own interests everything they touched,
that the whole cause has been dragged in the mire. That’s enough!”
“Excuse me, sir,” said Luzhin, affronted, and speaking with excessive dignity.
“Do you mean to suggest so unceremoniously that I too …”

“Oh, my dear sir . . . how could I? . . . Come, that’s enough,” Razumihin

concluded, and he turned abruptly to Zossimov to continue their previous
conversation.

Pyotr Petrovitch had the good sense to accept the disavowal. He made up his
mind to take leave in another minute or two.
“I trust our acquaintance,” he said, addressing Raskolnikov, “may, upon your
recovery and in view of the circumstances of which you are aware, become closer
. . . Above all, I hope for your return to health …”

Raskolnikov did not even turn his head. Pyotr Petrovitch began getting up
from his chair.

“One of her customers must have killed her,” Zossimov declared positively.

“Not a doubt of it,” replied Razumihin. “Porfiry doesn’t give his opinion, but
is examining all who have left pledges with her there.”

“Examining them?” Raskolnikov asked aloud.

“Yes. What then?”

“Nothing.”
 “How does he get hold of them?” asked Zossimov.

“Koch has given the names of some of them, other names are on the wrappers
of the pledges and some have come forward of themselves.”
“It must have been a cunning and practised ruffian! The boldness of it! The
coolness!”

“That’s just what it wasn’t!” interposed Razumihin. “That’s what throws you
all off the scent. But I maintain that he is not cunning, not practised, and probably
this was his first crime! The supposition that it was a calculated crime and a
cunning criminal doesn’t work. Suppose him to have been inexperienced, and it’s
clear that it was only a chance that saved him — and chance may do anything.
Why, he did not foresee obstacles, perhaps! And how did he set to work? He took
jewels worth ten or twenty roubles, stuffing his pockets with them, ransacked the
old woman’s trunks, her rags — and they found fifteen hundred roubles, besides
notes, in a box in the top drawer of the chest! He did not know how to rob; he
could only murder. It was his first crime, I assure you, his first crime; he lost his
head. And he got off more by luck than good counsel!”

“You are talking of the murder of the old pawnbroker, I believe?” Pyotr
Petrovitch put in, addressing Zossimov. He was standing, hat and gloves in hand,
but before departing he felt disposed to throw off a few more intellectual phrases.
He was evidently anxious to make a favourable impression and his vanity
overcame his prudence.

“Yes. You’ve heard of it?”

“Oh, yes, being in the neighbourhood.”

“Do you know the details?”

“I can’t say that; but another circumstance interests me in the case — the
whole question, so to say. Not to speak of the fact that crime has been greatly on
the increase among the lower classes during the last five years, not to speak of the
cases of robbery and arson everywhere, what strikes me as the strangest thing is
that in the higher classes, too, crime is increasing proportionately. In one place
one hears of a student’s robbing the mail on the high road; in another place people
of good social position forge false banknotes; in Moscow of late a whole gang has
been captured who used to forge lottery tickets, and one of the ringleaders was a
lecturer in universal history; then our secretary abroad was murdered from some
obscure motive of gain. . . . And if this old woman, the pawnbroker, has been
murdered by someone of a higher class in society — for peasants don’t pawn gold
trinkets — how are we to explain this demoralisation of the civilised part of our
society?”

“There are many economic changes,” put in Zossimov.

“How are we to explain it?” Razumihin caught him up. “It might be explained
by our inveterate impracticality.”

“How do you mean?”

“What answer had your lecturer in Moscow to make to the question why he
was forging notes? ‘Everybody is getting rich one way or another, so I want to
make haste to get rich too.’ I don’t remember the exact words, but the upshot was
that he wants money for nothing, without waiting or working! We’ve grown used
to having everything ready-made, to walking on crutches, to having our food
chewed for us. Then the great hour struck,1 and every man showed himself in his
true colours.”
1 The emancipation of the serfs in 1861 is meant. — TRANSLATOR’S NOTE.

“But morality? And so to speak, principles …”

“But why do you worry about it?” Raskolnikov interposed suddenly. “It’s in
accordance with your theory!”

“In accordance with my theory?”

“Why, carry out logically the theory you were advocating just now, and it
follows that people may be killed …”

“Upon my word!” cried Luzhin.

“No, that’s not so,” put in Zossimov.

Raskolnikov lay with a white face and twitching upper lip, breathing
painfully.

“There’s a measure in all things,” Luzhin went on superciliously. “Economic

ideas are not an incitement to murder, and one has but to suppose …”
“And is it true,” Raskolnikov interposed once more suddenly, again in a voice
quivering with fury and delight in insulting him, “is it true that you told your
fiancée . . . within an hour of her acceptance, that what pleased you most . . . was
that she was a beggar . . . because it was better to raise a wife from poverty, so that
you may have complete control over her, and reproach her with your being her
benefactor?”
“Upon my word,” Luzhin cried wrathfully and irritably, crimson with
confusion, “to distort my words in this way! Excuse me, allow me to assure you
that the report which has reached you, or rather, let me say, has been conveyed to
you, has no foundation in truth, and I . . . suspect who . . . in a word . . . this arrow
. . . in a word, your mamma . . . She seemed to me in other things, with all her
excellent qualities, of a somewhat high-flown and romantic way of thinking. . . .
But I was a thousand miles from supposing that she would misunderstand and
misrepresent things in so fanciful a way. . . . And indeed . . . indeed …”

“I tell you what,” cried Raskolnikov, raising himself on his pillow and fixing
his piercing, glittering eyes upon him, “I tell you what.”

“What?” Luzhin stood still, waiting with a defiant and offended face. Silence
lasted for some seconds.
“Why, if ever again . . . you dare to mention a single word . . . about my
mother . . . I shall send you flying downstairs!”

“What’s the matter with you?” cried Razumihin.

“So that’s how it is?” Luzhin turned pale and bit his lip. “Let me tell you, sir,”
he began deliberately, doing his utmost to restrain himself but breathing hard, “at
the first moment I saw you you were ill-disposed to me, but I remained here on
purpose to find out more. I could forgive a great deal in a sick man and a
connection, but you . . . never after this …”
“I am not ill,” cried Raskolnikov.

“So much the worse …”

“Go to hell!”
But Luzhin was already leaving without finishing his speech, squeezing
between the table and the chair; Razumihin got up this time to let him pass.
Without glancing at anyone, and not even nodding to Zossimov, who had for some
time been making signs to him to let the sick man alone, he went out, lifting his
hat to the level of his shoulders to avoid crushing it as he stooped to go out of the
door. And even the curve of his spine was expressive of the horrible insult he had
received.

“How could you — how could you!” Razumihin said, shaking his head in
perplexity.

“Let me alone — let me alone all of you!” Raskolnikov cried in a frenzy. “Will
you ever leave off tormenting me? I am not afraid of you! I am not afraid of
anyone, anyone now! Get away from me! I want to be alone, alone, alone!”
“Come along,” said Zossimov, nodding to Razumihin.

“But we can’t leave him like this!”

“Come along,” Zossimov repeated insistently, and he went out. Razumihin

thought a minute and ran to overtake him.

“It might be worse not to obey him,” said Zossimov on the stairs. “He mustn’t
be irritated.”
“What’s the matter with him?”

“If only he could get some favourable shock, that’s what would do it! At first
he was better. . . . You know he has got something on his mind! Some fixed idea
weighing on him. . . . I am very much afraid so; he must have!”
“Perhaps it’s that gentleman, Pyotr Petrovitch. From his conversation I gather
he is going to marry his sister, and that he had received a letter about it just before
his illness . . . .”
“Yes, confound the man! he may have upset the case altogether. But have you
noticed, he takes no interest in anything, he does not respond to anything except
one point on which he seems excited — that’s the murder?”

“Yes, yes,” Razumihin agreed, “I noticed that, too. He is interested,

frightened. It gave him a shock on the day he was ill in the police office; he
fainted.”
“Tell me more about that this evening and I’ll tell you something afterwards.
He interests me very much! In half an hour I’ll go and see him again. . . . There’ll
be no inflammation though.”

“Thanks! And I’ll wait with Pashenka meantime and will keep watch on him
through Nastasya . . . .”

Raskolnikov, left alone, looked with impatience and misery at Nastasya, but
she still lingered.

“Won’t you have some tea now?” she asked.

“Later! I am sleepy! Leave me.”

He turned abruptly to the wall; Nastasya went out.

 CHAPTER VI

But as soon as she went out, he got up, latched the door, undid the parcel which
Razumihin had brought in that evening and had tied up again and began dressing.
Strange to say, he seemed immediately to have become perfectly calm; not a trace
of his recent delirium nor of the panic fear that had haunted him of late. It was the
first moment of a strange sudden calm. His movements were precise and definite;
a firm purpose was evident in them. “To-day, to-day,” he muttered to himself. He
understood that he was still weak, but his intense spiritual concentration gave him
strength and self-confidence. He hoped, moreover, that he would not fall down in
the street. When he had dressed in entirely new clothes, he looked at the money
lying on the table, and after a moment’s thought put it in his pocket. It was
twenty-five roubles. He took also all the copper change from the ten roubles spent
by Razumihin on the clothes. Then he softly unlatched the door, went out, slipped
downstairs and glanced in at the open kitchen door. Nastasya was standing with
her back to him, blowing up the landlady’s samovar. She heard nothing. Who
would have dreamed of his going out, indeed? A minute later he was in the street.

It was nearly eight o’clock, the sun was setting. It was as stifling as before, but
he eagerly drank in the stinking, dusty town air. His head felt rather dizzy; a sort
of savage energy gleamed suddenly in his feverish eyes and his wasted, pale and
yellow face. He did not know and did not think where he was going, he had one
thought only: “that all this must be ended to-day, once for all, immediately; that
he would not return home without it, because he would not go on living like that.”
How, with what to make an end? He had not an idea about it, he did not even want
to think of it. He drove away thought; thought tortured him. All he knew, all he
felt was that everything must be changed “one way or another,” he repeated with
desperate and immovable self-confidence and determination.
From old habit he took his usual walk in the direction of the Hay Market. A
dark-haired young man with a barrel organ was standing in the road in front of a
little general shop and was grinding out a very sentimental song. He was
accompanying a girl of fifteen, who stood on the pavement in front of him. She
was dressed up in a crinoline, a mantle and a straw hat with a flame-coloured
feather in it, all very old and shabby. In a strong and rather agreeable voice,
cracked and coarsened by street singing, she sang in hope of getting a copper from
the shop. Raskolnikov joined two or three listeners, took out a five copeck piece
and put it in the girl’s hand. She broke off abruptly on a sentimental high note,
shouted sharply to the organ grinder “Come on,” and both moved on to the next
shop.
“Do you like street music?” said Raskolnikov, addressing a middle-aged man
standing idly by him. The man looked at him, startled and wondering.

“I love to hear singing to a street organ,” said Raskolnikov, and his manner
seemed strangely out of keeping with the subject —“I like it on cold, dark, damp
autumn evenings — they must be damp — when all the passers-by have pale
green, sickly faces, or better still when wet snow is falling straight down, when
there’s no wind — you know what I mean? — and the street lamps shine through it
…”
“I don’t know. . . . Excuse me …” muttered the stranger, frightened by the
question and Raskolnikov’s strange manner, and he crossed over to the other side
of the street.

Raskolnikov walked straight on and came out at the corner of the Hay
Market, where the huckster and his wife had talked with Lizaveta; but they were
not there now. Recognising the place, he stopped, looked round and addressed a
young fellow in a red shirt who stood gaping before a corn chandler’s shop.

“Isn’t there a man who keeps a booth with his wife at this corner?”

“All sorts of people keep booths here,” answered the young man, glancing
superciliously at Raskolnikov.
“What’s his name?”

“What he was christened.”

“Aren’t you a Zaraïsky man, too? Which province?”

The young man looked at Raskolnikov again.

“It’s not a province, your excellency, but a district. Graciously forgive me,
your excellency!”

“Is that a tavern at the top there?”

“Yes, it’s an eating-house and there’s a billiard-room and you’ll find

princesses there too. . . . La-la!”
 Raskolnikov crossed the square. In that corner there was a dense crowd of
peasants. He pushed his way into the thickest part of it, looking at the faces. He
felt an unaccountable inclination to enter into conversation with people. But the
peasants took no notice of him; they were all shouting in groups together. He
stood and thought a little and took a turning to the right in the direction of V.

He had often crossed that little street which turns at an angle, leading from
the market-place to Sadovy Street. Of late he had often felt drawn to wander about
this district, when he felt depressed, that he might feel more so.

Now he walked along, thinking of nothing. At that point there is a great block
of buildings, entirely let out in dram shops and eating-houses; women were
continually running in and out, bare-headed and in their indoor clothes. Here and
there they gathered in groups, on the pavement, especially about the entrances to
various festive establishments in the lower storeys. From one of these a loud din,
sounds of singing, the tinkling of a guitar and shouts of merriment, floated into
the street. A crowd of women were thronging round the door; some were sitting
on the steps, others on the pavement, others were standing talking. A drunken
soldier, smoking a cigarette, was walking near them in the road, swearing; he
seemed to be trying to find his way somewhere, but had forgotten where. One
beggar was quarrelling with another, and a man dead drunk was lying right across
the road. Raskolnikov joined the throng of women, who were talking in husky
voices. They were bare-headed and wore cotton dresses and goatskin shoes. There
were women of forty and some not more than seventeen; almost all had blackened
eyes.

He felt strangely attracted by the singing and all the noise and uproar in the
saloon below. . . . someone could be heard within dancing frantically, marking
time with his heels to the sounds of the guitar and of a thin falsetto voice singing a
jaunty air. He listened intently, gloomily and dreamily, bending down at the
entrance and peeping inquisitively in from the pavement.
“Oh, my handsome soldier
Don’t beat me for nothing,”

trilled the thin voice of the singer. Raskolnikov felt a great desire to make out what
he was singing, as though everything depended on that.
“Shall I go in?” he thought. “They are laughing. From drink. Shall I get
drunk?”
 “Won’t you come in?” one of the women asked him. Her voice was still
musical and less thick than the others, she was young and not repulsive — the only
one of the group.
“Why, she’s pretty,” he said, drawing himself up and looking at her.
She smiled, much pleased at the compliment.

“You’re very nice looking yourself,” she said.

“Isn’t he thin though!” observed another woman in a deep bass. “Have you
just come out of a hospital?”
“They’re all generals’ daughters, it seems, but they have all snub noses,”
interposed a tipsy peasant with a sly smile on his face, wearing a loose coat. “See
how jolly they are.”
“Go along with you!”

“I’ll go, sweetie!”

And he darted down into the saloon below. Raskolnikov moved on.

“I say, sir,” the girl shouted after him.

“What is it?”
She hesitated.

“I’ll always be pleased to spend an hour with you, kind gentleman, but now I
feel shy. Give me six copecks for a drink, there’s a nice young man!”

Raskolnikov gave her what came first — fifteen copecks.

“Ah, what a good-natured gentleman!”
“What’s your name?”

“Ask for Duclida.”

“Well, that’s too much,” one of the women observed, shaking her head at
Duclida. “I don’t know how you can ask like that. I believe I should drop with
shame . . . .”
Raskolnikov looked curiously at the speaker. She was a pock-marked wench
of thirty, covered with bruises, with her upper lip swollen. She made her criticism
quietly and earnestly. “Where is it,” thought Raskolnikov. “Where is it I’ve read
that someone condemned to death says or thinks, an hour before his death, that if
he had to live on some high rock, on such a narrow ledge that he’d only room to
stand, and the ocean, everlasting darkness, everlasting solitude, everlasting
tempest around him, if he had to remain standing on a square yard of space all his
life, a thousand years, eternity, it were better to live so than to die at once! Only to
live, to live and live! Life, whatever it may be! . . . How true it is! Good God, how
true! Man is a vile creature! . . . And vile is he who calls him vile for that,” he
added a moment later.

He went into another street. “Bah, the Palais de Cristal! Razumihin was just
talking of the Palais de Cristal. But what on earth was it I wanted? Yes, the
newspapers. . . . Zossimov said he’d read it in the papers. Have you the papers?”
he asked, going into a very spacious and positively clean restaurant, consisting of
several rooms, which were, however, rather empty. Two or three people were
drinking tea, and in a room further away were sitting four men drinking
champagne. Raskolnikov fancied that Zametov was one of them, but he could not
be sure at that distance. “What if it is?” he thought.

“Will you have vodka?” asked the waiter.

“Give me some tea and bring me the papers, the old ones for the last five days,
and I’ll give you something.”
“Yes, sir, here’s to-day’s. No vodka?”
The old newspapers and the tea were brought. Raskolnikov sat down and
began to look through them.
“Oh, damn . . . these are the items of intelligence. An accident on a staircase,
spontaneous combustion of a shopkeeper from alcohol, a fire in Peski . . . a fire in
the Petersburg quarter . . . another fire in the Petersburg quarter . . . and another
fire in the Petersburg quarter. . . . Ah, here it is!” He found at last what he was
seeking and began to read it. The lines danced before his eyes, but he read it all
and began eagerly seeking later additions in the following numbers. His hands
shook with nervous impatience as he turned the sheets. Suddenly someone sat
down beside him at his table. He looked up, it was the head clerk Zametov, looking
just the same, with the rings on his fingers and the watch-chain, with the curly,
black hair, parted and pomaded, with the smart waistcoat, rather shabby coat and
doubtful linen. He was in a good humour, at least he was smiling very gaily and
good-humouredly. His dark face was rather flushed from the champagne he had
drunk.

“What, you here?” he began in surprise, speaking as though he’d known him
all his life. “Why, Razumihin told me only yesterday you were unconscious. How
strange! And do you know I’ve been to see you?”
Raskolnikov knew he would come up to him. He laid aside the papers and
turned to Zametov. There was a smile on his lips, and a new shade of irritable
impatience was apparent in that smile.

“I know you have,” he answered. “I’ve heard it. You looked for my sock. . . .
And you know Razumihin has lost his heart to you? He says you’ve been with him
to Luise Ivanovna’s — you know, the woman you tried to befriend, for whom you
winked to the Explosive Lieutenant and he would not understand. Do you
remember? How could he fail to understand — it was quite clear, wasn’t it?”

“What a hot head he is!”

“The explosive one?”

“No, your friend Razumihin.”

“You must have a jolly life, Mr. Zametov; entrance free to the most agreeable
places. Who’s been pouring champagne into you just now?”

“We’ve just been . . . having a drink together. . . . You talk about pouring it
into me!”
“By way of a fee! You profit by everything!” Raskolnikov laughed, “it’s all
right, my dear boy,” he added, slapping Zametov on the shoulder. “I am not
speaking from temper, but in a friendly way, for sport, as that workman of yours
said when he was scuffling with Dmitri, in the case of the old woman . . . .”
“How do you know about it?”

“Perhaps I know more about it than you do.”

“How strange you are. . . . I am sure you are still very unwell. You oughtn’t to
have come out.”
“Oh, do I seem strange to you?”

“Yes. What are you doing, reading the papers?”

 “Yes.”
“There’s a lot about the fires.”

“No, I am not reading about the fires.” Here he looked mysteriously at

Zametov; his lips were twisted again in a mocking smile. “No, I am not reading
about the fires,” he went on, winking at Zametov. “But confess now, my dear
fellow, you’re awfully anxious to know what I am reading about?”

“I am not in the least. Mayn’t I ask a question? Why do you keep on . . .?”

“Listen, you are a man of culture and education?”

“I was in the sixth class at the gymnasium,” said Zametov with some dignity.

“Sixth class! Ah, my cock-sparrow! With your parting and your rings — you
are a gentleman of fortune. Foo! what a charming boy!” Here Raskolnikov broke
into a nervous laugh right in Zametov’s face. The latter drew back, more amazed
than offended.

“Foo! how strange you are!” Zametov repeated very seriously. “I can’t help
thinking you are still delirious.”
“I am delirious? You are fibbing, my cock-sparrow! So I am strange? You find
me curious, do you?”

“Yes, curious.”
“Shall I tell you what I was reading about, what I was looking for? See what a
lot of papers I’ve made them bring me. Suspicious, eh?”

“Well, what is it?”

“You prick up your ears?”

“How do you mean —‘prick up my ears’?”

“I’ll explain that afterwards, but now, my boy, I declare to you . . . no, better ‘I
confess’ . . . No, that’s not right either; ‘I make a deposition and you take it.’ I
depose that I was reading, that I was looking and searching . . . .” he screwed up
his eyes and paused. “I was searching — and came here on purpose to do it — for
news of the murder of the old pawnbroker woman,” he articulated at last, almost
in a whisper, bringing his face exceedingly close to the face of Zametov. Zametov
looked at him steadily, without moving or drawing his face away. What struck
Zametov afterwards as the strangest part of it all was that silence followed for
exactly a minute, and that they gazed at one another all the while.

“What if you have been reading about it?” he cried at last, perplexed and
impatient. “That’s no business of mine! What of it?”
“The same old woman,” Raskolnikov went on in the same whisper, not
heeding Zametov’s explanation, “about whom you were talking in the police-office,
you remember, when I fainted. Well, do you understand now?”
“What do you mean? Understand . . . what?” Zametov brought out, almost
alarmed.

Raskolnikov’s set and earnest face was suddenly transformed, and he

suddenly went off into the same nervous laugh as before, as though utterly unable
to restrain himself. And in one flash he recalled with extraordinary vividness of
sensation a moment in the recent past, that moment when he stood with the axe
behind the door, while the latch trembled and the men outside swore and shook it,
and he had a sudden desire to shout at them, to swear at them, to put out his
tongue at them, to mock them, to laugh, and laugh, and laugh!

“You are either mad, or …” began Zametov, and he broke off, as though
stunned by the idea that had suddenly flashed into his mind.

“Or? Or what? What? Come, tell me!”

“Nothing,” said Zametov, getting angry, “it’s all nonsense!”

Both were silent. After his sudden fit of laughter Raskolnikov became
suddenly thoughtful and melancholy. He put his elbow on the table and leaned his
head on his hand. He seemed to have completely forgotten Zametov. The silence
lasted for some time.

“Why don’t you drink your tea? It’s getting cold,” said Zametov.

“What! Tea? Oh, yes . . . .” Raskolnikov sipped the glass, put a morsel of bread
in his mouth and, suddenly looking at Zametov, seemed to remember everything
and pulled himself together. At the same moment his face resumed its original
mocking expression. He went on drinking tea.

“There have been a great many of these crimes lately,” said Zametov. “Only
the other day I read in the Moscow News that a whole gang of false coiners had
been caught in Moscow. It was a regular society. They used to forge tickets!”
 “Oh, but it was a long time ago! I read about it a month ago,” Raskolnikov
answered calmly. “So you consider them criminals?” he added, smiling.

“Of course they are criminals.”

“They? They are children, simpletons, not criminals! Why, half a hundred
people meeting for such an object — what an idea! Three would be too many, and
then they want to have more faith in one another than in themselves! One has only
to blab in his cups and it all collapses. Simpletons! They engaged untrustworthy
people to change the notes — what a thing to trust to a casual stranger! Well, let us
suppose that these simpletons succeed and each makes a million, and what follows
for the rest of their lives? Each is dependent on the others for the rest of his life!
Better hang oneself at once! And they did not know how to change the notes
either; the man who changed the notes took five thousand roubles, and his hands
trembled. He counted the first four thousand, but did not count the fifth thousand
— he was in such a hurry to get the money into his pocket and run away. Of course
he roused suspicion. And the whole thing came to a crash through one fool! Is it
possible?”

“That his hands trembled?” observed Zametov, “yes, that’s quite possible.
That, I feel quite sure, is possible. Sometimes one can’t stand things.”

“Can’t stand that?”

“Why, could you stand it then? No, I couldn’t. For the sake of a hundred
roubles to face such a terrible experience? To go with false notes into a bank where
it’s their business to spot that sort of thing! No, I should not have the face to do it.
Would you?”

Raskolnikov had an intense desire again “to put his tongue out.” Shivers kept
running down his spine.
“I should do it quite differently,” Raskolnikov began. “This is how I would
change the notes: I’d count the first thousand three or four times backwards and
forwards, looking at every note and then I’d set to the second thousand; I’d count
that half-way through and then hold some fifty-rouble note to the light, then turn
it, then hold it to the light again — to see whether it was a good one. ‘I am afraid,’ I
would say, ‘a relation of mine lost twenty-five roubles the other day through a false
note,’ and then I’d tell them the whole story. And after I began counting the third,
‘No, excuse me,’ I would say, ‘I fancy I made a mistake in the seventh hundred in
that second thousand, I am not sure.’ And so I would give up the third thousand
and go back to the second and so on to the end. And when I had finished, I’d pick
out one from the fifth and one from the second thousand and take them again to
the light and ask again, ‘Change them, please,’ and put the clerk into such a stew
that he would not know how to get rid of me. When I’d finished and had gone out,
I’d come back, ‘No, excuse me,’ and ask for some explanation. That’s how I’d do
it.”

“Foo! what terrible things you say!” said Zametov, laughing. “But all that is
only talk. I dare say when it came to deeds you’d make a slip. I believe that even a
practised, desperate man cannot always reckon on himself, much less you and I.
To take an example near home — that old woman murdered in our district. The
murderer seems to have been a desperate fellow, he risked everything in open
daylight, was saved by a miracle — but his hands shook, too. He did not succeed in
robbing the place, he couldn’t stand it. That was clear from the …”

Raskolnikov seemed offended.

“Clear? Why don’t you catch him then?” he cried, maliciously gibing at
Zametov.

“Well, they will catch him.”

“Who? You? Do you suppose you could catch him? You’ve a tough job! A great
point for you is whether a man is spending money or not. If he had no money and
suddenly begins spending, he must be the man. So that any child can mislead
you.”

“The fact is they always do that, though,” answered Zametov. “A man will
commit a clever murder at the risk of his life and then at once he goes drinking in
a tavern. They are caught spending money, they are not all as cunning as you are.
You wouldn’t go to a tavern, of course?”

Raskolnikov frowned and looked steadily at Zametov.

“You seem to enjoy the subject and would like to know how I should behave in
that case, too?” he asked with displeasure.

“I should like to,” Zametov answered firmly and seriously. Somewhat too
much earnestness began to appear in his words and looks.

“Very much?”
 “Very much!”

“All right then. This is how I should behave,” Raskolnikov began, again
bringing his face close to Zametov’s, again staring at him and speaking in a
whisper, so that the latter positively shuddered. “This is what I should have done.
I should have taken the money and jewels, I should have walked out of there and
have gone straight to some deserted place with fences round it and scarcely
anyone to be seen, some kitchen garden or place of that sort. I should have looked
out beforehand some stone weighing a hundredweight or more which had been
lying in the corner from the time the house was built. I would lift that stone —
there would sure to be a hollow under it, and I would put the jewels and money in
that hole. Then I’d roll the stone back so that it would look as before, would press
it down with my foot and walk away. And for a year or two, three maybe, I would
not touch it. And, well, they could search! There’d be no trace.”

“You are a madman,” said Zametov, and for some reason he too spoke in a
whisper, and moved away from Raskolnikov, whose eyes were glittering. He had
turned fearfully pale and his upper lip was twitching and quivering. He bent down
as close as possible to Zametov, and his lips began to move without uttering a
word. This lasted for half a minute; he knew what he was doing, but could not
restrain himself. The terrible word trembled on his lips, like the latch on that
door; in another moment it will break out, in another moment he will let it go, he
will speak out.

“And what if it was I who murdered the old woman and Lizaveta?” he said
suddenly and — realised what he had done.

Zametov looked wildly at him and turned white as the tablecloth. His face
wore a contorted smile.

“But is it possible?” he brought out faintly. Raskolnikov looked wrathfully at

him.
“Own up that you believed it, yes, you did?”

“Not a bit of it, I believe it less than ever now,” Zametov cried hastily.

“I’ve caught my cock-sparrow! So you did believe it before, if now you believe
less than ever?”
“Not at all,” cried Zametov, obviously embarrassed. “Have you been
frightening me so as to lead up to this?”

“You don’t believe it then? What were you talking about behind my back when
I went out of the police-office? And why did the explosive lieutenant question me
after I fainted? Hey, there,” he shouted to the waiter, getting up and taking his
cap, “how much?”

“Thirty copecks,” the latter replied, running up.

“And there is twenty copecks for vodka. See what a lot of money!” he held out
his shaking hand to Zametov with notes in it. “Red notes and blue, twenty-five
roubles. Where did I get them? And where did my new clothes come from? You
know I had not a copeck. You’ve cross-examined my landlady, I’ll be bound. . . .
Well, that’s enough! Assez causé! Till we meet again!”

He went out, trembling all over from a sort of wild hysterical sensation, in
which there was an element of insufferable rapture. Yet he was gloomy and
terribly tired. His face was twisted as after a fit. His fatigue increased rapidly. Any
shock, any irritating sensation stimulated and revived his energies at once, but his
strength failed as quickly when the stimulus was removed.

Zametov, left alone, sat for a long time in the same place, plunged in thought.
Raskolnikov had unwittingly worked a revolution in his brain on a certain point
and had made up his mind for him conclusively.

“Ilya Petrovitch is a blockhead,” he decided.

Raskolnikov had hardly opened the door of the restaurant when he stumbled
against Razumihin on the steps. They did not see each other till they almost
knocked against each other. For a moment they stood looking each other up and
down. Razumihin was greatly astounded, then anger, real anger gleamed fiercely
in his eyes.

“So here you are!” he shouted at the top of his voice —“you ran away from
your bed! And here I’ve been looking for you under the sofa! We went up to the
garret. I almost beat Nastasya on your account. And here he is after all. Rodya!
What is the meaning of it? Tell me the whole truth! Confess! Do you hear?”

“It means that I’m sick to death of you all and I want to be alone,”
Raskolnikov answered calmly.

“Alone? When you are not able to walk, when your face is as white as a sheet
and you are gasping for breath! Idiot! . . . What have you been doing in the Palais
de Cristal? Own up at once!”

“Let me go!” said Raskolnikov and tried to pass him. This was too much for
Razumihin; he gripped him firmly by the shoulder.
“Let you go? You dare tell me to let you go? Do you know what I’ll do with you
directly? I’ll pick you up, tie you up in a bundle, carry you home under my arm
and lock you up!”

“Listen, Razumihin,” Raskolnikov began quietly, apparently calm — “can’t

you see that I don’t want your benevolence? A strange desire you have to shower
benefits on a man who . . . curses them, who feels them a burden in fact! Why did
you seek me out at the beginning of my illness? Maybe I was very glad to die.
Didn’t I tell you plainly enough to-day that you were torturing me, that I was . . .
sick of you! You seem to want to torture people! I assure you that all that is
seriously hindering my recovery, because it’s continually irritating me. You saw
Zossimov went away just now to avoid irritating me. You leave me alone too, for
goodness’ sake! What right have you, indeed, to keep me by force? Don’t you see
that I am in possession of all my faculties now? How, how can I persuade you not
to persecute me with your kindness? I may be ungrateful, I may be mean, only let
me be, for God’s sake, let me be! Let me be, let me be!”

He began calmly, gloating beforehand over the venomous phrases he was

about to utter, but finished, panting for breath, in a frenzy, as he had been with
Luzhin.

Razumihin stood a moment, thought and let his hand drop.

“Well, go to hell then,” he said gently and thoughtfully. “Stay,” he roared, as

Raskolnikov was about to move. “Listen to me. Let me tell you, that you are all a
set of babbling, posing idiots! If you’ve any little trouble you brood over it like a
hen over an egg. And you are plagiarists even in that! There isn’t a sign of
independent life in you! You are made of spermaceti ointment and you’ve lymph
in your veins instead of blood. I don’t believe in anyone of you! In any
circumstances the first thing for all of you is to be unlike a human being! Stop!” he
cried with redoubled fury, noticing that Raskolnikov was again making a
movement —“hear me out! You know I’m having a house-warming this evening, I
dare say they’ve arrived by now, but I left my uncle there — I just ran in — to
receive the guests. And if you weren’t a fool, a common fool, a perfect fool, if you
were an original instead of a translation . . . you see, Rodya, I recognise you’re a
clever fellow, but you’re a fool! — and if you weren’t a fool you’d come round to me
this evening instead of wearing out your boots in the street! Since you have gone
out, there’s no help for it! I’d give you a snug easy chair, my landlady has one . . . a
cup of tea, company. . . . Or you could lie on the sofa — any way you would be with
us. . . . Zossimov will be there too. Will you come?”
“No.”

“R-rubbish!” Razumihin shouted, out of patience. “How do you know? You

can’t answer for yourself! You don’t know anything about it. . . . Thousands of
times I’ve fought tooth and nail with people and run back to them afterwards. . . .
One feels ashamed and goes back to a man! So remember, Potchinkov’s house on
the third storey . . . .”

“Why, Mr. Razumihin, I do believe you’d let anybody beat you from sheer
benevolence.”

“Beat? Whom? Me? I’d twist his nose off at the mere idea! Potchinkov’s
house, 47, Babushkin’s flat . . . .”

“I shall not come, Razumihin.” Raskolnikov turned and walked away.

“I bet you will,” Razumihin shouted after him. “I refuse to know you if you
don’t! Stay, hey, is Zametov in there?”

“Yes.”

“Did you see him?”

“Yes.”

“Talked to him?”
“Yes.”

“What about? Confound you, don’t tell me then. Potchinkov’s house, 47,
Babushkin’s flat, remember!”

Raskolnikov walked on and turned the corner into Sadovy Street. Razumihin
looked after him thoughtfully. Then with a wave of his hand he went into the
house but stopped short of the stairs.

“Confound it,” he went on almost aloud. “He talked sensibly but yet . . . I am a
fool! As if madmen didn’t talk sensibly! And this was just what Zossimov seemed
afraid of.” He struck his finger on his forehead. “What if . . . how could I let him go
off alone? He may drown himself. . . . Ach, what a blunder! I can’t.” And he ran
back to overtake Raskolnikov, but there was no trace of him. With a curse he
returned with rapid steps to the Palais de Cristal to question Zametov.

Raskolnikov walked straight to X—— Bridge, stood in the middle, and leaning
both elbows on the rail stared into the distance. On parting with Razumihin, he
felt so much weaker that he could scarcely reach this place. He longed to sit or lie
down somewhere in the street. Bending over the water, he gazed mechanically at
the last pink flush of the sunset, at the row of houses growing dark in the
gathering twilight, at one distant attic window on the left bank, flashing as though
on fire in the last rays of the setting sun, at the darkening water of the canal, and
the water seemed to catch his attention. At last red circles flashed before his eyes,
the houses seemed moving, the passers-by, the canal banks, the carriages, all
danced before his eyes. Suddenly he started, saved again perhaps from swooning
by an uncanny and hideous sight. He became aware of someone standing on the
right side of him; he looked and saw a tall woman with a kerchief on her head,
with a long, yellow, wasted face and red sunken eyes. She was looking straight at
him, but obviously she saw nothing and recognised no one. Suddenly she leaned
her right hand on the parapet, lifted her right leg over the railing, then her left and
threw herself into the canal. The filthy water parted and swallowed up its victim
for a moment, but an instant later the drowning woman floated to the surface,
moving slowly with the current, her head and legs in the water, her skirt inflated
like a balloon over her back.

“A woman drowning! A woman drowning!” shouted dozens of voices; people

ran up, both banks were thronged with spectators, on the bridge people crowded
about Raskolnikov, pressing up behind him.

“Mercy on it! it’s our Afrosinya!” a woman cried tearfully close by. “Mercy!
save her! kind people, pull her out!”
“A boat, a boat” was shouted in the crowd. But there was no need of a boat; a
policeman ran down the steps to the canal, threw off his great coat and his boots
and rushed into the water. It was easy to reach her: she floated within a couple of
yards from the steps, he caught hold of her clothes with his right hand and with
his left seized a pole which a comrade held out to him; the drowning woman was
pulled out at once. They laid her on the granite pavement of the embankment. She
soon recovered consciousness, raised her head, sat up and began sneezing and
coughing, stupidly wiping her wet dress with her hands. She said nothing.
“She’s drunk herself out of her senses,” the same woman’s voice wailed at her
side. “Out of her senses. The other day she tried to hang herself, we cut her down.
I ran out to the shop just now, left my little girl to look after her — and here she’s
in trouble again! A neighbour, gentleman, a neighbour, we live close by, the
second house from the end, see yonder . . . .”

The crowd broke up. The police still remained round the woman, someone
mentioned the police station. . . . Raskolnikov looked on with a strange sensation
of indifference and apathy. He felt disgusted. “No, that’s loathsome . . . water . . .
it’s not good enough,” he muttered to himself. “Nothing will come of it,” he added,
“no use to wait. What about the police office . . .? And why isn’t Zametov at the
police office? The police office is open till ten o’clock . . . .” He turned his back to
the railing and looked about him.

“Very well then!” he said resolutely; he moved from the bridge and walked in
the direction of the police office. His heart felt hollow and empty. He did not want
to think. Even his depression had passed, there was not a trace now of the energy
with which he had set out “to make an end of it all.” Complete apathy had
succeeded to it.

“Well, it’s a way out of it,” he thought, walking slowly and listlessly along the
canal bank. “Anyway I’ll make an end, for I want to. . . . But is it a way out? What
does it matter! There’ll be the square yard of space — ha! But what an end! Is it
really the end? Shall I tell them or not? Ah . . . damn! How tired I am! If I could
find somewhere to sit or lie down soon! What I am most ashamed of is its being so
stupid. But I don’t care about that either! What idiotic ideas come into one’s
head.”
To reach the police office he had to go straight forward and take the second
turning to the left. It was only a few paces away. But at the first turning he stopped
and, after a minute’s thought, turned into a side street and went two streets out of
his way, possibly without any object, or possibly to delay a minute and gain time.
He walked, looking at the ground; suddenly someone seemed to whisper in his
ear; he lifted his head and saw that he was standing at the very gate of the house.
He had not passed it, he had not been near it since that evening. An
overwhelming, unaccountable prompting drew him on. He went into the house,
passed through the gateway, then into the first entrance on the right, and began
mounting the familiar staircase to the fourth storey. The narrow, steep staircase
was very dark. He stopped at each landing and looked round him with curiosity;
on the first landing the framework of the window had been taken out. “That wasn’t
so then,” he thought. Here was the flat on the second storey where Nikolay and
Dmitri had been working. “It’s shut up and the door newly painted. So it’s to let.”
Then the third storey and the fourth. “Here!” He was perplexed to find the door of
the flat wide open. There were men there, he could hear voices; he had not
expected that. After brief hesitation he mounted the last stairs and went into the
flat. It, too, was being done up; there were workmen in it. This seemed to amaze
him; he somehow fancied that he would find everything as he left it, even perhaps
the corpses in the same places on the floor. And now, bare walls, no furniture; it
seemed strange. He walked to the window and sat down on the window-sill. There
were two workmen, both young fellows, but one much younger than the other.
They were papering the walls with a new white paper covered with lilac flowers,
instead of the old, dirty, yellow one. Raskolnikov for some reason felt horribly
annoyed by this. He looked at the new paper with dislike, as though he felt sorry to
have it all so changed. The workmen had obviously stayed beyond their time and
now they were hurriedly rolling up their paper and getting ready to go home. They
took no notice of Raskolnikov’s coming in; they were talking. Raskolnikov folded
his arms and listened.

“She comes to me in the morning,” said the elder to the younger, “very early,
all dressed up. ‘Why are you preening and prinking?’ says I. ‘I am ready to do
anything to please you, Tit Vassilitch!’ That’s a way of going on! And she dressed
up like a regular fashion book!”

“And what is a fashion book?” the younger one asked. He obviously regarded
the other as an authority.

“A fashion book is a lot of pictures, coloured, and they come to the tailors here
every Saturday, by post from abroad, to show folks how to dress, the male sex as
well as the female. They’re pictures. The gentlemen are generally wearing fur coats
and for the ladies’ fluffles, they’re beyond anything you can fancy.”

“There’s nothing you can’t find in Petersburg,” the younger cried

enthusiastically, “except father and mother, there’s everything!”
 “Except them, there’s everything to be found, my boy,” the elder declared
sententiously.

Raskolnikov got up and walked into the other room where the strong box, the
bed, and the chest of drawers had been; the room seemed to him very tiny without
furniture in it. The paper was the same; the paper in the corner showed where the
case of ikons had stood. He looked at it and went to the window. The elder
workman looked at him askance.

“What do you want?” he asked suddenly.

Instead of answering Raskolnikov went into the passage and pulled the bell.
The same bell, the same cracked note. He rang it a second and a third time; he
listened and remembered. The hideous and agonisingly fearful sensation he had
felt then began to come back more and more vividly. He shuddered at every ring
and it gave him more and more satisfaction.

“Well, what do you want? Who are you?” the workman shouted, going out to
him. Raskolnikov went inside again.
“I want to take a flat,” he said. “I am looking round.”

“It’s not the time to look at rooms at night! and you ought to come up with the
porter.”

“The floors have been washed, will they be painted?” Raskolnikov went on. “Is
there no blood?”

“What blood?”

“Why, the old woman and her sister were murdered here. There was a perfect
pool there.”

“But who are you?” the workman cried, uneasy.

“Who am I?”
“Yes.”

“You want to know? Come to the police station, I’ll tell you.”

The workmen looked at him in amazement.

“It’s time for us to go, we are late. Come along, Alyoshka. We must lock up,”
said the elder workman.
 “Very well, come along,” said Raskolnikov indifferently, and going out first,
he went slowly downstairs. “Hey, porter,” he cried in the gateway.

At the entrance several people were standing, staring at the passers-by; the
two porters, a peasant woman, a man in a long coat and a few others. Raskolnikov
went straight up to them.

“What do you want?” asked one of the porters.

“Have you been to the police office?”

“I’ve just been there. What do you want?”

“Is it open?”

“Of course.”

“Is the assistant there?”

“He was there for a time. What do you want?”

Raskolnikov made no reply, but stood beside them lost in thought.

“He’s been to look at the flat,” said the elder workman, coming forward.

“Which flat?”

“Where we are at work. ‘Why have you washed away the blood?’ says he.
‘There has been a murder here,’ says he, ‘and I’ve come to take it.’ And he began
ringing at the bell, all but broke it. ‘Come to the police station,’ says he. ‘I’ll tell you
everything there.’ He wouldn’t leave us.”

The porter looked at Raskolnikov, frowning and perplexed.

“Who are you?” he shouted as impressively as he could.

“I am Rodion Romanovitch Raskolnikov, formerly a student, I live in Shil’s

house, not far from here, flat Number 14, ask the porter, he knows me.”
Raskolnikov said all this in a lazy, dreamy voice, not turning round, but looking
intently into the darkening street.

“Why have you been to the flat?”

“To look at it.”

“What is there to look at?”

“Take him straight to the police station,” the man in the long coat jerked in
abruptly.

Raskolnikov looked intently at him over his shoulder and said in the same
slow, lazy tones:

“Come along.”

“Yes, take him,” the man went on more confidently. “Why was he going into
that, what’s in his mind, eh?”

“He’s not drunk, but God knows what’s the matter with him,” muttered the
workman.
“But what do you want?” the porter shouted again, beginning to get angry in
earnest —“Why are you hanging about?”

“You funk the police station then?” said Raskolnikov jeeringly.

“How funk it? Why are you hanging about?”

“He’s a rogue!” shouted the peasant woman.

“Why waste time talking to him?” cried the other porter, a huge peasant in a
full open coat and with keys on his belt. “Get along! He is a rogue and no mistake.
Get along!”

And seizing Raskolnikov by the shoulder he flung him into the street. He
lurched forward, but recovered his footing, looked at the spectators in silence and
walked away.

“Strange man!” observed the workman.

“There are strange folks about nowadays,” said the woman.

“You should have taken him to the police station all the same,” said the man
in the long coat.

“Better have nothing to do with him,” decided the big porter. “A regular
rogue! Just what he wants, you may be sure, but once take him up, you won’t get
rid of him. . . . We know the sort!”

“Shall I go there or not?” thought Raskolnikov, standing in the middle of the

thoroughfare at the cross-roads, and he looked about him, as though expecting
from someone a decisive word. But no sound came, all was dead and silent like the
stones on which he walked, dead to him, to him alone. . . . All at once at the end of
the street, two hundred yards away, in the gathering dusk he saw a crowd and
heard talk and shouts. In the middle of the crowd stood a carriage. . . . A light
gleamed in the middle of the street. “What is it?” Raskolnikov turned to the right
and went up to the crowd. He seemed to clutch at everything and smiled coldly
when he recognised it, for he had fully made up his mind to go to the police station
and knew that it would all soon be over.
 CHAPTER VII

An elegant carriage stood in the middle of the road with a pair of spirited grey
horses; there was no one in it, and the coachman had got off his box and stood by;
the horses were being held by the bridle. . . . A mass of people had gathered round,
the police standing in front. One of them held a lighted lantern which he was
turning on something lying close to the wheels. Everyone was talking, shouting,
exclaiming; the coachman seemed at a loss and kept repeating:

“What a misfortune! Good Lord, what a misfortune!”

Raskolnikov pushed his way in as far as he could, and succeeded at last in

seeing the object of the commotion and interest. On the ground a man who had
been run over lay apparently unconscious, and covered with blood; he was very
badly dressed, but not like a workman. Blood was flowing from his head and face;
his face was crushed, mutilated and disfigured. He was evidently badly injured.

“Merciful heaven!” wailed the coachman, “what more could I do? If I’d been
driving fast or had not shouted to him, but I was going quietly, not in a hurry.
Everyone could see I was going along just like everybody else. A drunken man
can’t walk straight, we all know. . . . I saw him crossing the street, staggering and
almost falling. I shouted again and a second and a third time, then I held the
horses in, but he fell straight under their feet! Either he did it on purpose or he
was very tipsy. . . . The horses are young and ready to take fright . . . they started,
he screamed . . . that made them worse. That’s how it happened!”
“That’s just how it was,” a voice in the crowd confirmed.

“He shouted, that’s true, he shouted three times,” another voice declared.
“Three times it was, we all heard it,” shouted a third.

But the coachman was not very much distressed and frightened. It was
evident that the carriage belonged to a rich and important person who was
awaiting it somewhere; the police, of course, were in no little anxiety to avoid
upsetting his arrangements. All they had to do was to take the injured man to the
police station and the hospital. No one knew his name.

Meanwhile Raskolnikov had squeezed in and stooped closer over him. The
lantern suddenly lighted up the unfortunate man’s face. He recognised him.
 “I know him! I know him!” he shouted, pushing to the front. “It’s a
government clerk retired from the service, Marmeladov. He lives close by in
Kozel’s house. . . . Make haste for a doctor! I will pay, see?” He pulled money out
of his pocket and showed it to the policeman. He was in violent agitation.
The police were glad that they had found out who the man was. Raskolnikov
gave his own name and address, and, as earnestly as if it had been his father, he
besought the police to carry the unconscious Marmeladov to his lodging at once.

“Just here, three houses away,” he said eagerly, “the house belongs to Kozel, a
rich German. He was going home, no doubt drunk. I know him, he is a drunkard.
He has a family there, a wife, children, he has one daughter. . . . It will take time to
take him to the hospital, and there is sure to be a doctor in the house. I’ll pay, I’ll
pay! At least he will be looked after at home . . . they will help him at once. But
he’ll die before you get him to the hospital.” He managed to slip something unseen
into the policeman’s hand. But the thing was straightforward and legitimate, and
in any case help was closer here. They raised the injured man; people volunteered
to help.
Kozel’s house was thirty yards away. Raskolnikov walked behind, carefully
holding Marmeladov’s head and showing the way.
“This way, this way! We must take him upstairs head foremost. Turn round!
I’ll pay, I’ll make it worth your while,” he muttered.

Katerina Ivanovna had just begun, as she always did at every free moment,
walking to and fro in her little room from window to stove and back again, with
her arms folded across her chest, talking to herself and coughing. Of late she had
begun to talk more than ever to her eldest girl, Polenka, a child of ten, who,
though there was much she did not understand, understood very well that her
mother needed her, and so always watched her with her big clever eyes and strove
her utmost to appear to understand. This time Polenka was undressing her little
brother, who had been unwell all day and was going to bed. The boy was waiting
for her to take off his shirt, which had to be washed at night. He was sitting
straight and motionless on a chair, with a silent, serious face, with his legs
stretched out straight before him — heels together and toes turned out.

He was listening to what his mother was saying to his sister, sitting perfectly
still with pouting lips and wide-open eyes, just as all good little boys have to sit
when they are undressed to go to bed. A little girl, still younger, dressed literally in
rags, stood at the screen, waiting for her turn. The door on to the stairs was open
to relieve them a little from the clouds of tobacco smoke which floated in from the
other rooms and brought on long terrible fits of coughing in the poor,
consumptive woman. Katerina Ivanovna seemed to have grown even thinner
during that week and the hectic flush on her face was brighter than ever.

“You wouldn’t believe, you can’t imagine, Polenka,” she said, walking about
the room, “what a happy luxurious life we had in my papa’s house and how this
drunkard has brought me, and will bring you all, to ruin! Papa was a civil colonel
and only a step from being a governor; so that everyone who came to see him said,
‘We look upon you, Ivan Mihailovitch, as our governor!’ When I . . . when …” she
coughed violently, “oh, cursed life,” she cried, clearing her throat and pressing her
hands to her breast, “when I . . . when at the last ball . . . at the marshal’s . . .
Princess Bezzemelny saw me — who gave me the blessing when your father and I
were married, Polenka — she asked at once ‘Isn’t that the pretty girl who danced
the shawl dance at the breaking-up?’ (You must mend that tear, you must take
your needle and darn it as I showed you, or to-morrow — cough, cough, cough —
he will make the hole bigger,” she articulated with effort.) “Prince Schegolskoy, a
kammerjunker, had just come from Petersburg then . . . he danced the mazurka
with me and wanted to make me an offer next day; but I thanked him in flattering
expressions and told him that my heart had long been another’s. That other was
your father, Polya; papa was fearfully angry. . . . Is the water ready? Give me the
shirt, and the stockings! Lida,” said she to the youngest one, “you must manage
without your chemise to-night . . . and lay your stockings out with it . . . I’ll wash
them together. . . . How is it that drunken vagabond doesn’t come in? He has worn
his shirt till it looks like a dish-clout, he has torn it to rags! I’d do it all together, so
as not to have to work two nights running! Oh, dear! (Cough, cough, cough,
cough!) Again! What’s this?” she cried, noticing a crowd in the passage and the
men, who were pushing into her room, carrying a burden. “What is it? What are
they bringing? Mercy on us!”
“Where are we to put him?” asked the policeman, looking round when
Marmeladov, unconscious and covered with blood, had been carried in.

“On the sofa! Put him straight on the sofa, with his head this way,”
Raskolnikov showed him.
 “Run over in the road! Drunk!” someone shouted in the passage.
Katerina Ivanovna stood, turning white and gasping for breath. The children
were terrified. Little Lida screamed, rushed to Polenka and clutched at her,
trembling all over.
Having laid Marmeladov down, Raskolnikov flew to Katerina Ivanovna.

“For God’s sake be calm, don’t be frightened!” he said, speaking quickly, “he
was crossing the road and was run over by a carriage, don’t be frightened, he will
come to, I told them bring him here . . . I’ve been here already, you remember? He
will come to; I’ll pay!”

“He’s done it this time!” Katerina Ivanovna cried despairingly and she rushed
to her husband.

Raskolnikov noticed at once that she was not one of those women who swoon
easily. She instantly placed under the luckless man’s head a pillow, which no one
had thought of and began undressing and examining him. She kept her head,
forgetting herself, biting her trembling lips and stifling the screams which were
ready to break from her.
Raskolnikov meanwhile induced someone to run for a doctor. There was a
doctor, it appeared, next door but one.
“I’ve sent for a doctor,” he kept assuring Katerina Ivanovna, “don’t be uneasy,
I’ll pay. Haven’t you water? . . . and give me a napkin or a towel, anything, as quick
as you can. . . . He is injured, but not killed, believe me. . . . We shall see what the
doctor says!”
Katerina Ivanovna ran to the window; there, on a broken chair in the corner,
a large earthenware basin full of water had been stood, in readiness for washing
her children’s and husband’s linen that night. This washing was done by Katerina
Ivanovna at night at least twice a week, if not oftener. For the family had come to
such a pass that they were practically without change of linen, and Katerina
Ivanovna could not endure uncleanliness and, rather than see dirt in the house,
she preferred to wear herself out at night, working beyond her strength when the
rest were asleep, so as to get the wet linen hung on a line and dry by the morning.
She took up the basin of water at Raskolnikov’s request, but almost fell down with
her burden. But the latter had already succeeded in finding a towel, wetted it and
began washing the blood off Marmeladov’s face.
 Katerina Ivanovna stood by, breathing painfully and pressing her hands to
her breast. She was in need of attention herself. Raskolnikov began to realise that
he might have made a mistake in having the injured man brought here. The
policeman, too, stood in hesitation.

“Polenka,” cried Katerina Ivanovna, “run to Sonia, make haste. If you don’t
find her at home, leave word that her father has been run over and that she is to
come here at once . . . when she comes in. Run, Polenka! there, put on the shawl.”
“Run your fastest!” cried the little boy on the chair suddenly, after which he
relapsed into the same dumb rigidity, with round eyes, his heels thrust forward
and his toes spread out.

Meanwhile the room had become so full of people that you couldn’t have
dropped a pin. The policemen left, all except one, who remained for a time, trying
to drive out the people who came in from the stairs. Almost all Madame
Lippevechsel’s lodgers had streamed in from the inner rooms of the flat; at first
they were squeezed together in the doorway, but afterwards they overflowed into
the room. Katerina Ivanovna flew into a fury.

“You might let him die in peace, at least,” she shouted at the crowd, “is it a
spectacle for you to gape at? With cigarettes! (Cough, cough, cough!) You might as
well keep your hats on. . . . And there is one in his hat! . . . Get away! You should
respect the dead, at least!”
Her cough choked her — but her reproaches were not without result. They
evidently stood in some awe of Katerina Ivanovna. The lodgers, one after another,
squeezed back into the doorway with that strange inner feeling of satisfaction
which may be observed in the presence of a sudden accident, even in those nearest
and dearest to the victim, from which no living man is exempt, even in spite of the
sincerest sympathy and compassion.
Voices outside were heard, however, speaking of the hospital and saying that
they’d no business to make a disturbance here.
“No business to die!” cried Katerina Ivanovna, and she was rushing to the
door to vent her wrath upon them, but in the doorway came face to face with
Madame Lippevechsel who had only just heard of the accident and ran in to
restore order. She was a particularly quarrelsome and irresponsible German.
“Ah, my God!” she cried, clasping her hands, “your husband drunken horses
have trampled! To the hospital with him! I am the landlady!”
“Amalia Ludwigovna, I beg you to recollect what you are saying,” Katerina
Ivanovna began haughtily (she always took a haughty tone with the landlady that
she might “remember her place” and even now could not deny herself this
satisfaction). “Amalia Ludwigovna …”
“I have you once before told that you to call me Amalia Ludwigovna may not
dare; I am Amalia Ivanovna.”
“You are not Amalia Ivanovna, but Amalia Ludwigovna, and as I am not one
of your despicable flatterers like Mr. Lebeziatnikov, who’s laughing behind the
door at this moment (a laugh and a cry of ‘they are at it again’ was in fact audible
at the door) so I shall always call you Amalia Ludwigovna, though I fail to
understand why you dislike that name. You can see for yourself what has
happened to Semyon Zaharovitch; he is dying. I beg you to close that door at once
and to admit no one. Let him at least die in peace! Or I warn you the Governor-
General, himself, shall be informed of your conduct to-morrow. The prince knew
me as a girl; he remembers Semyon Zaharovitch well and has often been a
benefactor to him. Everyone knows that Semyon Zaharovitch had many friends
and protectors, whom he abandoned himself from an honourable pride, knowing
his unhappy weakness, but now (she pointed to Raskolnikov) a generous young
man has come to our assistance, who has wealth and connections and whom
Semyon Zaharovitch has known from a child. You may rest assured, Amalia
Ludwigovna …”
All this was uttered with extreme rapidity, getting quicker and quicker, but a
cough suddenly cut short Katerina Ivanovna’s eloquence. At that instant the dying
man recovered consciousness and uttered a groan; she ran to him. The injured
man opened his eyes and without recognition or understanding gazed at
Raskolnikov who was bending over him. He drew deep, slow, painful breaths;
blood oozed at the corners of his mouth and drops of perspiration came out on his
forehead. Not recognising Raskolnikov, he began looking round uneasily. Katerina
Ivanovna looked at him with a sad but stern face, and tears trickled from her eyes.
“My God! His whole chest is crushed! How he is bleeding,” she said in
despair. “We must take off his clothes. Turn a little, Semyon Zaharovitch, if you
can,” she cried to him.
 Marmeladov recognised her.
“A priest,” he articulated huskily.

Katerina Ivanovna walked to the window, laid her head against the window
frame and exclaimed in despair:
“Oh, cursed life!”

“A priest,” the dying man said again after a moment’s silence.

“They’ve gone for him,” Katerina Ivanovna shouted to him, he obeyed her
shout and was silent. With sad and timid eyes he looked for her; she returned and
stood by his pillow. He seemed a little easier but not for long.

Soon his eyes rested on little Lida, his favourite, who was shaking in the
corner, as though she were in a fit, and staring at him with her wondering childish
eyes.

“A-ah,” he signed towards her uneasily. He wanted to say something.

“What now?” cried Katerina Ivanovna.

“Barefoot, barefoot!” he muttered, indicating with frenzied eyes the child’s

bare feet.

“Be silent,” Katerina Ivanovna cried irritably, “you know why she is
barefooted.”
“Thank God, the doctor,” exclaimed Raskolnikov, relieved.

The doctor came in, a precise little old man, a German, looking about him
mistrustfully; he went up to the sick man, took his pulse, carefully felt his head
and with the help of Katerina Ivanovna he unbuttoned the blood-stained shirt,
and bared the injured man’s chest. It was gashed, crushed and fractured, several
ribs on the right side were broken. On the left side, just over the heart, was a large,
sinister-looking yellowish-black bruise — a cruel kick from the horse’s hoof. The
doctor frowned. The policeman told him that he was caught in the wheel and
turned round with it for thirty yards on the road.

“It’s wonderful that he has recovered consciousness,” the doctor whispered

softly to Raskolnikov.

“What do you think of him?” he asked.

 “He will die immediately.”

“Is there really no hope?”

“Not the faintest! He is at the last gasp. . . . His head is badly injured, too . . .
Hm . . . I could bleed him if you like, but . . . it would be useless. He is bound to die
within the next five or ten minutes.”

“Better bleed him then.”

“If you like. . . . But I warn you it will be perfectly useless.”

At that moment other steps were heard; the crowd in the passage parted, and
the priest, a little, grey old man, appeared in the doorway bearing the sacrament.
A policeman had gone for him at the time of the accident. The doctor changed
places with him, exchanging glances with him. Raskolnikov begged the doctor to
remain a little while. He shrugged his shoulders and remained.

All stepped back. The confession was soon over. The dying man probably
understood little; he could only utter indistinct broken sounds. Katerina Ivanovna
took little Lida, lifted the boy from the chair, knelt down in the corner by the stove
and made the children kneel in front of her. The little girl was still trembling; but
the boy, kneeling on his little bare knees, lifted his hand rhythmically, crossing
himself with precision and bowed down, touching the floor with his forehead,
which seemed to afford him especial satisfaction. Katerina Ivanovna bit her lips
and held back her tears; she prayed, too, now and then pulling straight the boy’s
shirt, and managed to cover the girl’s bare shoulders with a kerchief, which she
took from the chest without rising from her knees or ceasing to pray. Meanwhile
the door from the inner rooms was opened inquisitively again. In the passage the
crowd of spectators from all the flats on the staircase grew denser and denser, but
they did not venture beyond the threshold. A single candle-end lighted up the
scene.
At that moment Polenka forced her way through the crowd at the door. She
came in panting from running so fast, took off her kerchief, looked for her mother,
went up to her and said, “She’s coming, I met her in the street.” Her mother made
her kneel beside her.
Timidly and noiselessly a young girl made her way through the crowd, and
strange was her appearance in that room, in the midst of want, rags, death and
despair. She, too, was in rags, her attire was all of the cheapest, but decked out in
gutter finery of a special stamp, unmistakably betraying its shameful purpose.
Sonia stopped short in the doorway and looked about her bewildered, unconscious
of everything. She forgot her fourth-hand, gaudy silk dress, so unseemly here with
its ridiculous long train, and her immense crinoline that filled up the whole
doorway, and her light-coloured shoes, and the parasol she brought with her,
though it was no use at night, and the absurd round straw hat with its flaring
flame-coloured feather. Under this rakishly-tilted hat was a pale, frightened little
face with lips parted and eyes staring in terror. Sonia was a small thin girl of
eighteen with fair hair, rather pretty, with wonderful blue eyes. She looked
intently at the bed and the priest; she too was out of breath with running. At last
whispers, some words in the crowd probably, reached her. She looked down and
took a step forward into the room, still keeping close to the door.

The service was over. Katerina Ivanovna went up to her husband again. The
priest stepped back and turned to say a few words of admonition and consolation
to Katerina Ivanovna on leaving.

“What am I to do with these?” she interrupted sharply and irritably, pointing

to the little ones.
“God is merciful; look to the Most High for succour,” the priest began.

“Ach! He is merciful, but not to us.”

“That’s a sin, a sin, madam,” observed the priest, shaking his head.
“And isn’t that a sin?” cried Katerina Ivanovna, pointing to the dying man.

“Perhaps those who have involuntarily caused the accident will agree to
compensate you, at least for the loss of his earnings.”

“You don’t understand!” cried Katerina Ivanovna angrily waving her hand.
“And why should they compensate me? Why, he was drunk and threw himself
under the horses! What earnings? He brought us in nothing but misery. He drank
everything away, the drunkard! He robbed us to get drink, he wasted their lives
and mine for drink! And thank God he’s dying! One less to keep!”
“You must forgive in the hour of death, that’s a sin, madam, such feelings are
a great sin.”

Katerina Ivanovna was busy with the dying man; she was giving him water,
wiping the blood and sweat from his head, setting his pillow straight, and had only
turned now and then for a moment to address the priest. Now she flew at him
almost in a frenzy.

“Ah, father! That’s words and only words! Forgive! If he’d not been run over,
he’d have come home to-day drunk and his only shirt dirty and in rags and he’d
have fallen asleep like a log, and I should have been sousing and rinsing till
daybreak, washing his rags and the children’s and then drying them by the
window and as soon as it was daylight I should have been darning them. That’s
how I spend my nights! . . . What’s the use of talking of forgiveness! I have
forgiven as it is!”

A terrible hollow cough interrupted her words. She put her handkerchief to
her lips and showed it to the priest, pressing her other hand to her aching chest.
The handkerchief was covered with blood. The priest bowed his head and said
nothing.

Marmeladov was in the last agony; he did not take his eyes off the face of
Katerina Ivanovna, who was bending over him again. He kept trying to say
something to her; he began moving his tongue with difficulty and articulating
indistinctly, but Katerina Ivanovna, understanding that he wanted to ask her
forgiveness, called peremptorily to him:

“Be silent! No need! I know what you want to say!” And the sick man was
silent, but at the same instant his wandering eyes strayed to the doorway and he
saw Sonia.

Till then he had not noticed her: she was standing in the shadow in a corner.

“Who’s that? Who’s that?” he said suddenly in a thick gasping voice, in

agitation, turning his eyes in horror towards the door where his daughter was
standing, and trying to sit up.

“Lie down! Lie do-own!” cried Katerina Ivanovna.

With unnatural strength he had succeeded in propping himself on his elbow.
He looked wildly and fixedly for some time on his daughter, as though not
recognising her. He had never seen her before in such attire. Suddenly he
recognised her, crushed and ashamed in her humiliation and gaudy finery, meekly
awaiting her turn to say good-bye to her dying father. His face showed intense
suffering.
 “Sonia! Daughter! Forgive!” he cried, and he tried to hold out his hand to her,
but losing his balance, he fell off the sofa, face downwards on the floor. They
rushed to pick him up, they put him on the sofa; but he was dying. Sonia with a
faint cry ran up, embraced him and remained so without moving. He died in her
arms.

“He’s got what he wanted,” Katerina Ivanovna cried, seeing her husband’s
dead body. “Well, what’s to be done now? How am I to bury him! What can I give
them to-morrow to eat?”

Raskolnikov went up to Katerina Ivanovna.

“Katerina Ivanovna,” he began, “last week your husband told me all his life
and circumstances. . . . Believe me, he spoke of you with passionate reverence.
From that evening, when I learnt how devoted he was to you all and how he loved
and respected you especially, Katerina Ivanovna, in spite of his unfortunate
weakness, from that evening we became friends. . . . Allow me now . . . to do
something . . . to repay my debt to my dead friend. Here are twenty roubles, I
think — and if that can be of any assistance to you, then . . . I . . . in short, I will
come again, I will be sure to come again . . . I shall, perhaps, come again to-
morrow. . . . Good-bye!”
And he went quickly out of the room, squeezing his way through the crowd to
the stairs. But in the crowd he suddenly jostled against Nikodim Fomitch, who
had heard of the accident and had come to give instructions in person. They had
not met since the scene at the police station, but Nikodim Fomitch knew him
instantly.
“Ah, is that you?” he asked him.

“He’s dead,” answered Raskolnikov. “The doctor and the priest have been, all
as it should have been. Don’t worry the poor woman too much, she is in
consumption as it is. Try and cheer her up, if possible . . . you are a kind-hearted
man, I know …” he added with a smile, looking straight in his face.

“But you are spattered with blood,” observed Nikodim Fomitch, noticing in
the lamplight some fresh stains on Raskolnikov’s waistcoat.

“Yes . . . I’m covered with blood,” Raskolnikov said with a peculiar air; then he
smiled, nodded and went downstairs.
 He walked down slowly and deliberately, feverish but not conscious of it,
entirely absorbed in a new overwhelming sensation of life and strength that
surged up suddenly within him. This sensation might be compared to that of a
man condemned to death who has suddenly been pardoned. Halfway down the
staircase he was overtaken by the priest on his way home; Raskolnikov let him
pass, exchanging a silent greeting with him. He was just descending the last steps
when he heard rapid footsteps behind him. someone overtook him; it was
Polenka. She was running after him, calling “Wait! wait!”

He turned round. She was at the bottom of the staircase and stopped short a
step above him. A dim light came in from the yard. Raskolnikov could distinguish
the child’s thin but pretty little face, looking at him with a bright childish smile.
She had run after him with a message which she was evidently glad to give.

“Tell me, what is your name? . . . and where do you live?” she said hurriedly in
a breathless voice.
He laid both hands on her shoulders and looked at her with a sort of rapture.
It was such a joy to him to look at her, he could not have said why.

“Who sent you?”

“Sister Sonia sent me,” answered the girl, smiling still more brightly.

“I knew it was sister Sonia sent you.”

“Mamma sent me, too . . . when sister Sonia was sending me, mamma came
up, too, and said ‘Run fast, Polenka.’”
“Do you love sister Sonia?”

“I love her more than anyone,” Polenka answered with a peculiar earnestness,
and her smile became graver.
“And will you love me?”

By way of answer he saw the little girl’s face approaching him, her full lips
naïvely held out to kiss him. Suddenly her arms as thin as sticks held him tightly,
her head rested on his shoulder and the little girl wept softly, pressing her face
against him.

“I am sorry for father,” she said a moment later, raising her tear-stained face
and brushing away the tears with her hands. “It’s nothing but misfortunes now,”
she added suddenly with that peculiarly sedate air which children try hard to
assume when they want to speak like grown-up people.

“Did your father love you?”

“He loved Lida most,” she went on very seriously without a smile, exactly like
grown-up people, “he loved her because she is little and because she is ill, too. And
he always used to bring her presents. But he taught us to read and me grammar
and scripture, too,” she added with dignity. “And mother never used to say
anything, but we knew that she liked it and father knew it, too. And mother wants
to teach me French, for it’s time my education began.”

“And do you know your prayers?”

“Of course, we do! We knew them long ago. I say my prayers to myself as I am
a big girl now, but Kolya and Lida say them aloud with mother. First they repeat
the ‘Ave Maria’ and then another prayer: ‘Lord, forgive and bless sister Sonia,’ and
then another, ‘Lord, forgive and bless our second father.’ For our elder father is
dead and this is another one, but we do pray for the other as well.”

“Polenka, my name is Rodion. Pray sometimes for me, too. ‘And Thy servant
Rodion,’ nothing more.”

“I’ll pray for you all the rest of my life,” the little girl declared hotly, and
suddenly smiling again she rushed at him and hugged him warmly once more.
Raskolnikov told her his name and address and promised to be sure to come
next day. The child went away quite enchanted with him. It was past ten when he
came out into the street. In five minutes he was standing on the bridge at the spot
where the woman had jumped in.
“Enough,” he pronounced resolutely and triumphantly. “I’ve done with
fancies, imaginary terrors and phantoms! Life is real! haven’t I lived just now? My
life has not yet died with that old woman! The Kingdom of Heaven to her — and
now enough, madam, leave me in peace! Now for the reign of reason and light . . .
and of will, and of strength . . . and now we will see! We will try our strength!” he
added defiantly, as though challenging some power of darkness. “And I was ready
to consent to live in a square of space!

“I am very weak at this moment, but . . . I believe my illness is all over. I knew
it would be over when I went out. By the way, Potchinkov’s house is only a few
steps away. I certainly must go to Razumihin even if it were not close by . . . let
him win his bet! Let us give him some satisfaction, too — no matter! Strength,
strength is what one wants, you can get nothing without it, and strength must be
won by strength — that’s what they don’t know,” he added proudly and self-
confidently and he walked with flagging footsteps from the bridge. Pride and self-
confidence grew continually stronger in him; he was becoming a different man
every moment. What was it had happened to work this revolution in him? He did
not know himself; like a man catching at a straw, he suddenly felt that he, too,
‘could live, that there was still life for him, that his life had not died with the old
woman.’ Perhaps he was in too great a hurry with his conclusions, but he did not
think of that.

“But I did ask her to remember ‘Thy servant Rodion’ in her prayers,” the idea
struck him. “Well, that was . . . in case of emergency,” he added and laughed
himself at his boyish sally. He was in the best of spirits.

He easily found Razumihin; the new lodger was already known at

Potchinkov’s and the porter at once showed him the way. Half-way upstairs he
could hear the noise and animated conversation of a big gathering of people. The
door was wide open on the stairs; he could hear exclamations and discussion.
Razumihin’s room was fairly large; the company consisted of fifteen people.
Raskolnikov stopped in the entry, where two of the landlady’s servants were busy
behind a screen with two samovars, bottles, plates and dishes of pie and savouries,
brought up from the landlady’s kitchen. Raskolnikov sent in for Razumihin. He
ran out delighted. At the first glance it was apparent that he had had a great deal
to drink and, though no amount of liquor made Razumihin quite drunk, this time
he was perceptibly affected by it.

“Listen,” Raskolnikov hastened to say, “I’ve only just come to tell you you’ve
won your bet and that no one really knows what may not happen to him. I can’t
come in; I am so weak that I shall fall down directly. And so good evening and
good-bye! Come and see me to-morrow.”

“Do you know what? I’ll see you home. If you say you’re weak yourself, you
must …”
“And your visitors? Who is the curly-headed one who has just peeped out?”

“He? Goodness only knows! Some friend of uncle’s, I expect, or perhaps he

has come without being invited . . . I’ll leave uncle with them, he is an invaluable
person, pity I can’t introduce you to him now. But confound them all now! They
won’t notice me, and I need a little fresh air, for you’ve come just in the nick of
time — another two minutes and I should have come to blows! They are talking
such a lot of wild stuff . . . you simply can’t imagine what men will say! Though
why shouldn’t you imagine? Don’t we talk nonsense ourselves? And let them . . .
that’s the way to learn not to! . . . Wait a minute, I’ll fetch Zossimov.”

Zossimov pounced upon Raskolnikov almost greedily; he showed a special

interest in him; soon his face brightened.

“You must go to bed at once,” he pronounced, examining the patient as far as

he could, “and take something for the night. Will you take it? I got it ready some
time ago . . . a powder.”

“Two, if you like,” answered Raskolnikov. The powder was taken at once.
“It’s a good thing you are taking him home,” observed Zossimov to Razumihin
—“we shall see how he is to-morrow, to-day he’s not at all amiss — a considerable
change since the afternoon. Live and learn …”

“Do you know what Zossimov whispered to me when we were coming out?”
Razumihin blurted out, as soon as they were in the street. “I won’t tell you
everything, brother, because they are such fools. Zossimov told me to talk freely to
you on the way and get you to talk freely to me, and afterwards I am to tell him
about it, for he’s got a notion in his head that you are . . . mad or close on it. Only
fancy! In the first place, you’ve three times the brains he has; in the second, if you
are not mad, you needn’t care a hang that he has got such a wild idea; and thirdly,
that piece of beef whose specialty is surgery has gone mad on mental diseases, and
what’s brought him to this conclusion about you was your conversation to-day
with Zametov.”

“Zametov told you all about it?”

“Yes, and he did well. Now I understand what it all means and so does
Zametov. . . . Well, the fact is, Rodya . . . the point is . . . I am a little drunk now.
. . . But that’s . . . no matter . . . the point is that this idea . . . you understand? was
just being hatched in their brains . . . you understand? That is, no one ventured to
say it aloud, because the idea is too absurd and especially since the arrest of that
painter, that bubble’s burst and gone for ever. But why are they such fools? I gave
Zametov a bit of a thrashing at the time — that’s between ourselves, brother;
please don’t let out a hint that you know of it; I’ve noticed he is a ticklish subject; it
was at Luise Ivanovna’s. But to-day, to-day it’s all cleared up. That Ilya Petrovitch
is at the bottom of it! He took advantage of your fainting at the police station, but
he is ashamed of it himself now; I know that …”

Raskolnikov listened greedily. Razumihin was drunk enough to talk too

freely.
“I fainted then because it was so close and the smell of paint,” said
Raskolnikov.

“No need to explain that! And it wasn’t the paint only: the fever had been
coming on for a month; Zossimov testifies to that! But how crushed that boy is
now, you wouldn’t believe! ‘I am not worth his little finger,’ he says. Yours, he
means. He has good feelings at times, brother. But the lesson, the lesson you gave
him to-day in the Palais de Cristal, that was too good for anything! You frightened
him at first, you know, he nearly went into convulsions! You almost convinced him
again of the truth of all that hideous nonsense, and then you suddenly — put out
your tongue at him: ‘There now, what do you make of it?’ It was perfect! He is
crushed, annihilated now! It was masterly, by Jove, it’s what they deserve! Ah,
that I wasn’t there! He was hoping to see you awfully. Porfiry, too, wants to make
your acquaintance …”

“Ah! . . . he too . . . but why did they put me down as mad?”

“Oh, not mad. I must have said too much, brother. . . . What struck him, you
see, was that only that subject seemed to interest you; now it’s clear why it did
interest you; knowing all the circumstances . . . and how that irritated you and
worked in with your illness . . . I am a little drunk, brother, only, confound him, he
has some idea of his own . . . I tell you, he’s mad on mental diseases. But don’t you
mind him …”

For half a minute both were silent.

“Listen, Razumihin,” began Raskolnikov, “I want to tell you plainly: I’ve just
been at a death-bed, a clerk who died . . . I gave them all my money . . . and
besides I’ve just been kissed by someone who, if I had killed anyone, would just
the same . . . in fact I saw someone else there . . . with a flame-coloured feather . . .
but I am talking nonsense; I am very weak, support me . . . we shall be at the stairs
directly …”

“What’s the matter? What’s the matter with you?” Razumihin asked
anxiously.

“I am a little giddy, but that’s not the point, I am so sad, so sad . . . like a
woman. Look, what’s that? Look, look!”
“What is it?”

“Don’t you see? A light in my room, you see? Through the crack …”

They were already at the foot of the last flight of stairs, at the level of the
landlady’s door, and they could, as a fact, see from below that there was a light in
Raskolnikov’s garret.

“Queer! Nastasya, perhaps,” observed Razumihin.

“She is never in my room at this time and she must be in bed long ago, but . . .
I don’t care! Good-bye!”

“What do you mean? I am coming with you, we’ll come in together!”

“I know we are going in together, but I want to shake hands here and say
good-bye to you here. So give me your hand, good-bye!”

“What’s the matter with you, Rodya?”

“Nothing . . . come along . . . you shall be witness.”

They began mounting the stairs, and the idea struck Razumihin that perhaps
Zossimov might be right after all. “Ah, I’ve upset him with my chatter!” he
muttered to himself.

When they reached the door they heard voices in the room.

“What is it?” cried Razumihin. Raskolnikov was the first to open the door; he
flung it wide and stood still in the doorway, dumbfoundered.

His mother and sister were sitting on his sofa and had been waiting an hour
and a half for him. Why had he never expected, never thought of them, though the
news that they had started, were on their way and would arrive immediately, had
been repeated to him only that day? They had spent that hour and a half plying
Nastasya with questions. She was standing before them and had told them
everything by now. They were beside themselves with alarm when they heard of
his “running away” to-day, ill and, as they understood from her story, delirious!
“Good Heavens, what had become of him?” Both had been weeping, both had
been in anguish for that hour and a half.

A cry of joy, of ecstasy, greeted Raskolnikov’s entrance. Both rushed to him.

But he stood like one dead; a sudden intolerable sensation struck him like a
thunderbolt. He did not lift his arms to embrace them, he could not. His mother
and sister clasped him in their arms, kissed him, laughed and cried. He took a
step, tottered and fell to the ground, fainting.
Anxiety, cries of horror, moans . . . Razumihin who was standing in the
doorway flew into the room, seized the sick man in his strong arms and in a
moment had him on the sofa.

“It’s nothing, nothing!” he cried to the mother and sister —“it’s only a faint, a
mere trifle! Only just now the doctor said he was much better, that he is perfectly
well! Water! See, he is coming to himself, he is all right again!”

And seizing Dounia by the arm so that he almost dislocated it, he made her
bend down to see that “he is all right again.” The mother and sister looked on him
with emotion and gratitude, as their Providence. They had heard already from
Nastasya all that had been done for their Rodya during his illness, by this “very
competent young man,” as Pulcheria Alexandrovna Raskolnikov called him that
evening in conversation with Dounia.
 PART III

CHAPTER I

Raskolnikov got up, and sat down on the sofa. He waved his hand weakly to
Razumihin to cut short the flow of warm and incoherent consolations he was
addressing to his mother and sister, took them both by the hand and for a minute
or two gazed from one to the other without speaking. His mother was alarmed by
his expression. It revealed an emotion agonisingly poignant, and at the same time
something immovable, almost insane. Pulcheria Alexandrovna began to cry.

Avdotya Romanovna was pale; her hand trembled in her brother’s.

“Go home . . . with him,” he said in a broken voice, pointing to Razumihin,
“good-bye till to-morrow; to-morrow everything . . . Is it long since you arrived?”

“This evening, Rodya,” answered Pulcheria Alexandrovna, “the train was

awfully late. But, Rodya, nothing would induce me to leave you now! I will spend
the night here, near you …”

“Don’t torture me!” he said with a gesture of irritation.

“I will stay with him,” cried Razumihin, “I won’t leave him for a moment.
Bother all my visitors! Let them rage to their hearts’ content! My uncle is
presiding there.”
“How, how can I thank you!” Pulcheria Alexandrovna was beginning, once
more pressing Razumihin’s hands, but Raskolnikov interrupted her again.

“I can’t have it! I can’t have it!” he repeated irritably, “don’t worry me!
Enough, go away . . . I can’t stand it!”
“Come, mamma, come out of the room at least for a minute,” Dounia
whispered in dismay; “we are distressing him, that’s evident.”
“Mayn’t I look at him after three years?” wept Pulcheria Alexandrovna.
“Stay,” he stopped them again, “you keep interrupting me, and my ideas get
muddled. . . . Have you seen Luzhin?”
“No, Rodya, but he knows already of our arrival. We have heard, Rodya, that
Pyotr Petrovitch was so kind as to visit you today,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna added
somewhat timidly.
“Yes . . . he was so kind . . . Dounia, I promised Luzhin I’d throw him
downstairs and told him to go to hell . . . .”
“Rodya, what are you saying! Surely, you don’t mean to tell us …” Pulcheria
Alexandrovna began in alarm, but she stopped, looking at Dounia.
Avdotya Romanovna was looking attentively at her brother, waiting for what
would come next. Both of them had heard of the quarrel from Nastasya, so far as
she had succeeded in understanding and reporting it, and were in painful
perplexity and suspense.

“Dounia,” Raskolnikov continued with an effort, “I don’t want that marriage,

so at the first opportunity to-morrow you must refuse Luzhin, so that we may
never hear his name again.”

“Good Heavens!” cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna.

“Brother, think what you are saying!” Avdotya Romanovna began
impetuously, but immediately checked herself. “You are not fit to talk now,
perhaps; you are tired,” she added gently.

“You think I am delirious? No . . . You are marrying Luzhin for my sake. But I
won’t accept the sacrifice. And so write a letter before to-morrow, to refuse him . . .
Let me read it in the morning and that will be the end of it!”

“That I can’t do!” the girl cried, offended, “what right have you …”

“Dounia, you are hasty, too, be quiet, to-morrow . . . Don’t you see …” the
mother interposed in dismay. “Better come away!”

“He is raving,” Razumihin cried tipsily, “or how would he dare! To-morrow all
this nonsense will be over . . . to-day he certainly did drive him away. That was so.
And Luzhin got angry, too. . . . He made speeches here, wanted to show off his
learning and he went out crest-fallen . . . .”
“Then it’s true?” cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna.

“Good-bye till to-morrow, brother,” said Dounia compassionately —“let us go,

mother . . . Good-bye, Rodya.”

“Do you hear, sister,” he repeated after them, making a last effort, “I am not
delirious; this marriage is — an infamy. Let me act like a scoundrel, but you
mustn’t . . . one is enough . . . and though I am a scoundrel, I wouldn’t own such a
sister. It’s me or Luzhin! Go now . . . .”

“But you’re out of your mind! Despot!” roared Razumihin; but Raskolnikov
did not and perhaps could not answer. He lay down on the sofa, and turned to the
wall, utterly exhausted. Avdotya Romanovna looked with interest at Razumihin;
her black eyes flashed; Razumihin positively started at her glance.

Pulcheria Alexandrovna stood overwhelmed.

“Nothing would induce me to go,” she whispered in despair to Razumihin. “I
will stay somewhere here . . . escort Dounia home.”

“You’ll spoil everything,” Razumihin answered in the same whisper, losing

patience —“come out on to the stairs, anyway. Nastasya, show a light! I assure
you,” he went on in a half whisper on the stairs-“that he was almost beating the
doctor and me this afternoon! Do you understand? The doctor himself! Even he
gave way and left him, so as not to irritate him. I remained downstairs on guard,
but he dressed at once and slipped off. And he will slip off again if you irritate him,
at this time of night, and will do himself some mischief . . . .”

“What are you saying?”

“And Avdotya Romanovna can’t possibly be left in those lodgings without you.
Just think where you are staying! That blackguard Pyotr Petrovitch couldn’t find
you better lodgings . . . But you know I’ve had a little to drink, and that’s what
makes me . . . swear; don’t mind it . . . .”
“But I’ll go to the landlady here,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna insisted, “Ill
beseech her to find some corner for Dounia and me for the night. I can’t leave him
like that, I cannot!”

This conversation took place on the landing just before the landlady’s door.
Nastasya lighted them from a step below. Razumihin was in extraordinary
excitement. Half an hour earlier, while he was bringing Raskolnikov home, he had
indeed talked too freely, but he was aware of it himself, and his head was clear in
spite of the vast quantities he had imbibed. Now he was in a state bordering on
ecstasy, and all that he had drunk seemed to fly to his head with redoubled effect.
He stood with the two ladies, seizing both by their hands, persuading them, and
giving them reasons with astonishing plainness of speech, and at almost every
word he uttered, probably to emphasise his arguments, he squeezed their hands
painfully as in a vise. He stared at Avdotya Romanovna without the least regard
for good manners. They sometimes pulled their hands out of his huge bony paws,
but far from noticing what was the matter, he drew them all the closer to him. If
they’d told him to jump head foremost from the staircase, he would have done it
without thought or hesitation in their service. Though Pulcheria Alexandrovna felt
that the young man was really too eccentric and pinched her hand too much, in
her anxiety over her Rodya she looked on his presence as providential, and was
unwilling to notice all his peculiarities. But though Avdotya Romanovna shared
her anxiety, and was not of timorous disposition, she could not see the glowing
light in his eyes without wonder and almost alarm. It was only the unbounded
confidence inspired by Nastasya’s account of her brother’s queer friend, which
prevented her from trying to run away from him, and to persuade her mother to
do the same. She realised, too, that even running away was perhaps impossible
now. Ten minutes later, however, she was considerably reassured; it was
characteristic of Razumihin that he showed his true nature at once, whatever
mood he might be in, so that people quickly saw the sort of man they had to deal
with.
“You can’t go to the landlady, that’s perfect nonsense!” he cried. “If you stay,
though you are his mother, you’ll drive him to a frenzy, and then goodness knows
what will happen! Listen, I’ll tell you what I’ll do: Nastasya will stay with him now,
and I’ll conduct you both home, you can’t be in the streets alone; Petersburg is an
awful place in that way. . . . But no matter! Then I’ll run straight back here and a
quarter of an hour later, on my word of honour, I’ll bring you news how he is,
whether he is asleep, and all that. Then, listen! Then I’ll run home in a twinkling —
I’ve a lot of friends there, all drunk — I’ll fetch Zossimov — that’s the doctor who is
looking after him, he is there, too, but he is not drunk; he is not drunk, he is never
drunk! I’ll drag him to Rodya, and then to you, so that you’ll get two reports in the
hour — from the doctor, you understand, from the doctor himself, that’s a very
different thing from my account of him! If there’s anything wrong, I swear I’ll
bring you here myself, but, if it’s all right, you go to bed. And I’ll spend the night
here, in the passage, he won’t hear me, and I’ll tell Zossimov to sleep at the
landlady’s, to be at hand. Which is better for him: you or the doctor? So come
home then! But the landlady is out of the question; it’s all right for me, but it’s out
of the question for you: she wouldn’t take you, for she’s . . . for she’s a fool . . .
She’d be jealous on my account of Avdotya Romanovna and of you, too, if you
want to know . . . of Avdotya Romanovna certainly. She is an absolutely, absolutely
unaccountable character! But I am a fool, too! . . . No matter! Come along! Do you
trust me? Come, do you trust me or not?”
“Let us go, mother,” said Avdotya Romanovna, “he will certainly do what he
has promised. He has saved Rodya already, and if the doctor really will consent to
spend the night here, what could be better?”

“You see, you . . . you . . . understand me, because you are an angel!”
Razumihin cried in ecstasy, “let us go! Nastasya! Fly upstairs and sit with him with
a light; I’ll come in a quarter of an hour.”
Though Pulcheria Alexandrovna was not perfectly convinced, she made no
further resistance. Razumihin gave an arm to each and drew them down the stairs.
He still made her uneasy, as though he was competent and good-natured, was he
capable of carrying out his promise? He seemed in such a condition . . . .
“Ah, I see you think I am in such a condition!” Razumihin broke in upon her
thoughts, guessing them, as he strolled along the pavement with huge steps, so
that the two ladies could hardly keep up with him, a fact he did not observe,
however. “Nonsense! That is . . . I am drunk like a fool, but that’s not it; I am not
drunk from wine. It’s seeing you has turned my head . . . But don’t mind me! Don’t
take any notice: I am talking nonsense, I am not worthy of you. . . . I am utterly
unworthy of you! The minute I’ve taken you home, I’ll pour a couple of pailfuls of
water over my head in the gutter here, and then I shall be all right. . . . If only you
knew how I love you both! Don’t laugh, and don’t be angry! You may be angry with
anyone, but not with me! I am his friend, and therefore I am your friend, too, I
want to be . . . I had a presentiment . . . Last year there was a moment . . . though it
wasn’t a presentiment really, for you seem to have fallen from heaven. And I
expect I shan’t sleep all night . . . Zossimov was afraid a little time ago that he
would go mad . . . that’s why he mustn’t be irritated.”
“What do you say?” cried the mother.
“Did the doctor really say that?” asked Avdotya Romanovna, alarmed.

“Yes, but it’s not so, not a bit of it. He gave him some medicine, a powder, I
saw it, and then your coming here . . . . Ah! It would have been better if you had
come to-morrow. It’s a good thing we went away. And in an hour Zossimov
himself will report to you about everything. He is not drunk! And I shan’t be
drunk. . . . And what made me get so tight? Because they got me into an argument,
damn them! I’ve sworn never to argue! They talk such trash! I almost came to
blows! I’ve left my uncle to preside. Would you believe, they insist on complete
absence of individualism and that’s just what they relish! Not to be themselves, to
be as unlike themselves as they can. That’s what they regard as the highest point of
progress. If only their nonsense were their own, but as it is …”
“Listen!” Pulcheria Alexandrovna interrupted timidly, but it only added fuel
to the flames.

“What do you think?” shouted Razumihin, louder than ever, “you think I am
attacking them for talking nonsense? Not a bit! I like them to talk nonsense. That’s
man’s one privilege over all creation. Through error you come to the truth! I am a
man because I err! You never reach any truth without making fourteen mistakes
and very likely a hundred and fourteen. And a fine thing, too, in its way; but we
can’t even make mistakes on our own account! Talk nonsense, but talk your own
nonsense, and I’ll kiss you for it. To go wrong in one’s own way is better than to go
right in someone else’s. In the first case you are a man, in the second you’re no
better than a bird. Truth won’t escape you, but life can be cramped. There have
been examples. And what are we doing now? In science, development, thought,
invention, ideals, aims, liberalism, judgment, experience and everything,
everything, everything, we are still in the preparatory class at school. We prefer to
live on other people’s ideas, it’s what we are used to! Am I right, am I right?” cried
Razumihin, pressing and shaking the two ladies’ hands.
“Oh, mercy, I do not know,” cried poor Pulcheria Alexandrovna.

“Yes, yes . . . though I don’t agree with you in everything,” added Avdotya
Romanovna earnestly and at once uttered a cry, for he squeezed her hand so
painfully.
“Yes, you say yes . . . well after that you . . . you …” he cried in a transport,
“you are a fount of goodness, purity, sense . . . and perfection. Give me your hand
. . . you give me yours, too! I want to kiss your hands here at once, on my knees …”
and he fell on his knees on the pavement, fortunately at that time deserted.
“Leave off, I entreat you, what are you doing?” Pulcheria Alexandrovna cried,
greatly distressed.

“Get up, get up!” said Dounia laughing, though she, too, was upset.
 “Not for anything till you let me kiss your hands! That’s it! Enough! I get up
and we’ll go on! I am a luckless fool, I am unworthy of you and drunk . . . and I am
ashamed. . . . I am not worthy to love you, but to do homage to you is the duty of
every man who is not a perfect beast! And I’ve done homage. . . . Here are your
lodgings, and for that alone Rodya was right in driving your Pyotr Petrovitch
away. . . . How dare he! how dare he put you in such lodgings! It’s a scandal! Do
you know the sort of people they take in here? And you his betrothed! You are his
betrothed? Yes? Well, then, I’ll tell you, your fiancé is a scoundrel.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Razumihin, you are forgetting …” Pulcheria Alexandrovna

was beginning.

“Yes, yes, you are right, I did forget myself, I am ashamed of it,” Razumihin
made haste to apologise. “But . . . but you can’t be angry with me for speaking so!
For I speak sincerely and not because . . . hm, hm! That would be disgraceful; in
fact not because I’m in . . . hm! Well, anyway, I won’t say why, I daren’t. . . . But we
all saw to-day when he came in that that man is not of our sort. Not because he
had his hair curled at the barber’s, not because he was in such a hurry to show his
wit, but because he is a spy, a speculator, because he is a skin-flint and a buffoon.
That’s evident. Do you think him clever? No, he is a fool, a fool. And is he a match
for you? Good heavens! Do you see, ladies?” he stopped suddenly on the way
upstairs to their rooms, “though all my friends there are drunk, yet they are all
honest, and though we do talk a lot of trash, and I do, too, yet we shall talk our
way to the truth at last, for we are on the right path, while Pyotr Petrovitch . . . is
not on the right path. Though I’ve been calling them all sorts of names just now, I
do respect them all . . . though I don’t respect Zametov, I like him, for he is a
puppy, and that bullock Zossimov, because he is an honest man and knows his
work. But enough, it’s all said and forgiven. Is it forgiven? Well, then, let’s go on. I
know this corridor, I’ve been here, there was a scandal here at Number 3. . . .
Where are you here? Which number? eight? Well, lock yourselves in for the night,
then. Don’t let anybody in. In a quarter of an hour I’ll come back with news, and
half an hour later I’ll bring Zossimov, you’ll see! Good-bye, I’ll run.”

“Good heavens, Dounia, what is going to happen?” said Pulcheria

Alexandrovna, addressing her daughter with anxiety and dismay.

“Don’t worry yourself, mother,” said Dounia, taking off her hat and cape.
“God has sent this gentleman to our aid, though he has come from a drinking
party. We can depend on him, I assure you. And all that he has done for Rodya . . .
.”

“Ah. Dounia, goodness knows whether he will come! How could I bring
myself to leave Rodya? . . . And how different, how different I had fancied our
meeting! How sullen he was, as though not pleased to see us . . . .”

Tears came into her eyes.

“No, it’s not that, mother. You didn’t see, you were crying all the time. He is
quite unhinged by serious illness — that’s the reason.”

“Ah, that illness! What will happen, what will happen? And how he talked to
you, Dounia!” said the mother, looking timidly at her daughter, trying to read her
thoughts and, already half consoled by Dounia’s standing up for her brother,
which meant that she had already forgiven him. “I am sure he will think better of
it to-morrow,” she added, probing her further.

“And I am sure that he will say the same to-morrow . . . about that,” Avdotya
Romanovna said finally. And, of course, there was no going beyond that, for this
was a point which Pulcheria Alexandrovna was afraid to discuss. Dounia went up
and kissed her mother. The latter warmly embraced her without speaking. Then
she sat down to wait anxiously for Razumihin’s return, timidly watching her
daughter who walked up and down the room with her arms folded, lost in thought.
This walking up and down when she was thinking was a habit of Avdotya
Romanovna’s and the mother was always afraid to break in on her daughter’s
mood at such moments.
Razumihin, of course, was ridiculous in his sudden drunken infatuation for
Avdotya Romanovna. Yet apart from his eccentric condition, many people would
have thought it justified if they had seen Avdotya Romanovna, especially at that
moment when she was walking to and fro with folded arms, pensive and
melancholy. Avdotya Romanovna was remarkably good looking; she was tall,
strikingly well-proportioned, strong and self-reliant — the latter quality was
apparent in every gesture, though it did not in the least detract from the grace and
softness of her movements. In face she resembled her brother, but she might be
described as really beautiful. Her hair was dark brown, a little lighter than her
brother’s; there was a proud light in her almost black eyes and yet at times a look
of extraordinary kindness. She was pale, but it was a healthy pallor; her face was
radiant with freshness and vigour. Her mouth was rather small; the full red lower
lip projected a little as did her chin; it was the only irregularity in her beautiful
face, but it gave it a peculiarly individual and almost haughty expression. Her face
was always more serious and thoughtful than gay; but how well smiles, how well
youthful, lighthearted, irresponsible, laughter suited her face! It was natural
enough that a warm, open, simple-hearted, honest giant like Razumihin, who had
never seen anyone like her and was not quite sober at the time, should lose his
head immediately. Besides, as chance would have it, he saw Dounia for the first
time transfigured by her love for her brother and her joy at meeting him.
Afterwards he saw her lower lip quiver with indignation at her brother’s insolent,
cruel and ungrateful words — and his fate was sealed.

He had spoken the truth, moreover, when he blurted out in his drunken talk
on the stairs that Praskovya Pavlovna, Raskolnikov’s eccentric landlady, would be
jealous of Pulcheria Alexandrovna as well as of Avdotya Romanovna on his
account. Although Pulcheria Alexandrovna was forty-three, her face still retained
traces of her former beauty; she looked much younger than her age, indeed, which
is almost always the case with women who retain serenity of spirit, sensitiveness
and pure sincere warmth of heart to old age. We may add in parenthesis that to
preserve all this is the only means of retaining beauty to old age. Her hair had
begun to grow grey and thin, there had long been little crow’s foot wrinkles round
her eyes, her cheeks were hollow and sunken from anxiety and grief, and yet it was
a handsome face. She was Dounia over again, twenty years older, but without the
projecting underlip. Pulcheria Alexandrovna was emotional, but not sentimental,
timid and yielding, but only to a certain point. She could give way and accept a
great deal even of what was contrary to her convictions, but there was a certain
barrier fixed by honesty, principle and the deepest convictions which nothing
would induce her to cross.

Exactly twenty minutes after Razumihin’s departure, there came two subdued
but hurried knocks at the door: he had come back.

“I won’t come in, I haven’t time,” he hastened to say when the door was
opened. “He sleeps like a top, soundly, quietly, and God grant he may sleep ten
hours. Nastasya’s with him; I told her not to leave till I came. Now I am fetching
Zossimov, he will report to you and then you’d better turn in; I can see you are too
tired to do anything . . . .”
 And he ran off down the corridor.

“What a very competent and . . . devoted young man!” cried Pulcheria

Alexandrovna exceedingly delighted.
“He seems a splendid person!” Avdotya Romanovna replied with some
warmth, resuming her walk up and down the room.

It was nearly an hour later when they heard footsteps in the corridor and
another knock at the door. Both women waited this time completely relying on
Razumihin’s promise; he actually had succeeded in bringing Zossimov. Zossimov
had agreed at once to desert the drinking party to go to Raskolnikov’s, but he came
reluctantly and with the greatest suspicion to see the ladies, mistrusting
Razumihin in his exhilarated condition. But his vanity was at once reassured and
flattered; he saw that they were really expecting him as an oracle. He stayed just
ten minutes and succeeded in completely convincing and comforting Pulcheria
Alexandrovna. He spoke with marked sympathy, but with the reserve and extreme
seriousness of a young doctor at an important consultation. He did not utter a
word on any other subject and did not display the slightest desire to enter into
more personal relations with the two ladies. Remarking at his first entrance the
dazzling beauty of Avdotya Romanovna, he endeavoured not to notice her at all
during his visit and addressed himself solely to Pulcheria Alexandrovna. All this
gave him extraordinary inward satisfaction. He declared that he thought the
invalid at this moment going on very satisfactorily. According to his observations
the patient’s illness was due partly to his unfortunate material surroundings
during the last few months, but it had partly also a moral origin, “was, so to speak,
the product of several material and moral influences, anxieties, apprehensions,
troubles, certain ideas . . . and so on.” Noticing stealthily that Avdotya Romanovna
was following his words with close attention, Zossimov allowed himself to enlarge
on this theme. On Pulcheria Alexandrovna’s anxiously and timidly inquiring as to
“some suspicion of insanity,” he replied with a composed and candid smile that his
words had been exaggerated; that certainly the patient had some fixed idea,
something approaching a monomania — he, Zossimov, was now particularly
studying this interesting branch of medicine — but that it must be recollected that
until to-day the patient had been in delirium and . . . and that no doubt the
presence of his family would have a favourable effect on his recovery and distract
his mind, “if only all fresh shocks can be avoided,” he added significantly. Then he
got up, took leave with an impressive and affable bow, while blessings, warm
gratitude, and entreaties were showered upon him, and Avdotya Romanovna
spontaneously offered her hand to him. He went out exceedingly pleased with his
visit and still more so with himself.

“We’ll talk to-morrow; go to bed at once!” Razumihin said in conclusion,

following Zossimov out. “I’ll be with you to-morrow morning as early as possible
with my report.”

“That’s a fetching little girl, Avdotya Romanovna,” remarked Zossimov,

almost licking his lips as they both came out into the street.
“Fetching? You said fetching?” roared Razumihin and he flew at Zossimov
and seized him by the throat. “If you ever dare. . . . Do you understand? Do you
understand?” he shouted, shaking him by the collar and squeezing him against the
wall. “Do you hear?”
“Let me go, you drunken devil,” said Zossimov, struggling and when he had
let him go, he stared at him and went off into a sudden guffaw. Razumihin stood
facing him in gloomy and earnest reflection.

“Of course, I am an ass,” he observed, sombre as a storm cloud, “but still . . .

you are another.”

“No, brother, not at all such another. I am not dreaming of any folly.”

They walked along in silence and only when they were close to Raskolnikov’s
lodgings, Razumihin broke the silence in considerable anxiety.

“Listen,” he said, “you’re a first-rate fellow, but among your other failings,
you’re a loose fish, that I know, and a dirty one, too. You are a feeble, nervous
wretch, and a mass of whims, you’re getting fat and lazy and can’t deny yourself
anything — and I call that dirty because it leads one straight into the dirt. You’ve
let yourself get so slack that I don’t know how it is you are still a good, even a
devoted doctor. You — a doctor — sleep on a feather bed and get up at night to
your patients! In another three or four years you won’t get up for your patients . . .
But hang it all, that’s not the point! . . . You are going to spend to-night in the
landlady’s flat here. (Hard work I’ve had to persuade her!) And I’ll be in the
kitchen. So here’s a chance for you to get to know her better. . . . It’s not as you
think! There’s not a trace of anything of the sort, brother …!”
 “But I don’t think!”

“Here you have modesty, brother, silence, bashfulness, a savage virtue . . . and
yet she’s sighing and melting like wax, simply melting! Save me from her, by all
that’s unholy! She’s most prepossessing . . . I’ll repay you, I’ll do anything . . . .”

Zossimov laughed more violently than ever.

“Well, you are smitten! But what am I to do with her?”

“It won’t be much trouble, I assure you. Talk any rot you like to her, as long as
you sit by her and talk. You’re a doctor, too; try curing her of something. I swear
you won’t regret it. She has a piano, and you know, I strum a little. I have a song
there, a genuine Russian one: ‘I shed hot tears.’ She likes the genuine article —
and well, it all began with that song; Now you’re a regular performer, a maître, a
Rubinstein. . . . I assure you, you won’t regret it!”

“But have you made her some promise? Something signed? A promise of
marriage, perhaps?”

“Nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing of the kind! Besides she is not that sort
at all. . . . Tchebarov tried that . . . .”

“Well then, drop her!”

“But I can’t drop her like that!”

“Why can’t you?”

“Well, I can’t, that’s all about it! There’s an element of attraction here,
brother.”

“Then why have you fascinated her?”

“I haven’t fascinated her; perhaps I was fascinated myself in my folly. But she
won’t care a straw whether it’s you or I, so long as somebody sits beside her,
sighing. . . . I can’t explain the position, brother . . . look here, you are good at
mathematics, and working at it now . . . begin teaching her the integral calculus;
upon my soul, I’m not joking, I’m in earnest, it’ll be just the same to her. She will
gaze at you and sigh for a whole year together. I talked to her once for two days at
a time about the Prussian House of Lords (for one must talk of something)— she
just sighed and perspired! And you mustn’t talk of love — she’s bashful to
hysterics — but just let her see you can’t tear yourself away — that’s enough. It’s
fearfully comfortable; you’re quite at home, you can read, sit, lie about, write. You
may even venture on a kiss, if you’re careful.”

“But what do I want with her?”

“Ach, I can’t make you understand! You see, you are made for each other! I
have often been reminded of you! . . . You’ll come to it in the end! So does it matter
whether it’s sooner or later? There’s the feather-bed element here, brother — ach!
and not only that! There’s an attraction here — here you have the end of the world,
an anchorage, a quiet haven, the navel of the earth, the three fishes that are the
foundation of the world, the essence of pancakes, of savoury fish-pies, of the
evening samovar, of soft sighs and warm shawls, and hot stoves to sleep on — as
snug as though you were dead, and yet you’re alive — the advantages of both at
once! Well, hang it, brother, what stuff I’m talking, it’s bedtime! Listen. I
sometimes wake up at night; so I’ll go in and look at him. But there’s no need, it’s
all right. Don’t you worry yourself, yet if you like, you might just look in once, too.
But if you notice anything — delirium or fever — wake me at once. But there can’t
be . . . .”
 CHAPTER II

Razumihin waked up next morning at eight o’clock, troubled and serious. He

found himself confronted with many new and unlooked-for perplexities. He had
never expected that he would ever wake up feeling like that. He remembered every
detail of the previous day and he knew that a perfectly novel experience had
befallen him, that he had received an impression unlike anything he had known
before. At the same time he recognised clearly that the dream which had fired his
imagination was hopelessly unattainable — so unattainable that he felt positively
ashamed of it, and he hastened to pass to the other more practical cares and
difficulties bequeathed him by that “thrice accursed yesterday.”

The most awful recollection of the previous day was the way he had shown
himself “base and mean,” not only because he had been drunk, but because he had
taken advantage of the young girl’s position to abuse her fiancé in his stupid
jealousy, knowing nothing of their mutual relations and obligations and next to
nothing of the man himself. And what right had he to criticise him in that hasty
and unguarded manner? Who had asked for his opinion? Was it thinkable that
such a creature as Avdotya Romanovna would be marrying an unworthy man for
money? So there must be something in him. The lodgings? But after all how could
he know the character of the lodgings? He was furnishing a flat . . . Foo! how
despicable it all was! And what justification was it that he was drunk? Such a
stupid excuse was even more degrading! In wine is truth, and the truth had all
come out, “that is, all the uncleanness of his coarse and envious heart”! And would
such a dream ever be permissible to him, Razumihin? What was he beside such a
girl — he, the drunken noisy braggart of last night? Was it possible to imagine so
absurd and cynical a juxtaposition? Razumihin blushed desperately at the very
idea and suddenly the recollection forced itself vividly upon him of how he had
said last night on the stairs that the landlady would be jealous of Avdotya
Romanovna . . . that was simply intolerable. He brought his fist down heavily on
the kitchen stove, hurt his hand and sent one of the bricks flying.
“Of course,” he muttered to himself a minute later with a feeling of self-
abasement, “of course, all these infamies can never be wiped out or smoothed over
. . . and so it’s useless even to think of it, and I must go to them in silence and do
my duty . . . in silence, too . . . and not ask forgiveness, and say nothing . . . for all
is lost now!”

And yet as he dressed he examined his attire more carefully than usual. He
hadn’t another suit — if he had had, perhaps he wouldn’t have put it on. “I would
have made a point of not putting it on.” But in any case he could not remain a
cynic and a dirty sloven; he had no right to offend the feelings of others, especially
when they were in need of his assistance and asking him to see them. He brushed
his clothes carefully. His linen was always decent; in that respect he was especially
clean.

He washed that morning scrupulously — he got some soap from Nastasya —

he washed his hair, his neck and especially his hands. When it came to the
question whether to shave his stubbly chin or not (Praskovya Pavlovna had capital
razors that had been left by her late husband), the question was angrily answered
in the negative. “Let it stay as it is! What if they think that I shaved on purpose to
…? They certainly would think so! Not on any account!”
“And . . . the worst of it was he was so coarse, so dirty, he had the manners of
a pothouse; and . . . and even admitting that he knew he had some of the essentials
of a gentleman . . . what was there in that to be proud of? Everyone ought to be a
gentleman and more than that . . . and all the same (he remembered) he, too, had
done little things . . . not exactly dishonest, and yet. . . . And what thoughts he
sometimes had; hm . . . and to set all that beside Avdotya Romanovna! Confound
it! So be it! Well, he’d make a point then of being dirty, greasy, pothouse in his
manners and he wouldn’t care! He’d be worse!”
He was engaged in such monologues when Zossimov, who had spent the
night in Praskovya Pavlovna’s parlour, came in.

He was going home and was in a hurry to look at the invalid first. Razumihin
informed him that Raskolnikov was sleeping like a dormouse. Zossimov gave
orders that they shouldn’t wake him and promised to see him again about eleven.

“If he is still at home,” he added. “Damn it all! If one can’t control one’s
patients, how is one to cure them? Do you know whether he will go to them, or
whether they are coming here?”

“They are coming, I think,” said Razumihin, understanding the object of the
question, “and they will discuss their family affairs, no doubt. I’ll be off. You, as
the doctor, have more right to be here than I.”
 “But I am not a father confessor; I shall come and go away; I’ve plenty to do
besides looking after them.”

“One thing worries me,” interposed Razumihin, frowning. “On the way home
I talked a lot of drunken nonsense to him . . . all sorts of things . . . and amongst
them that you were afraid that he . . . might become insane.”

“You told the ladies so, too.”

“I know it was stupid! You may beat me if you like! Did you think so
seriously?”

“That’s nonsense, I tell you, how could I think it seriously? You, yourself,
described him as a monomaniac when you fetched me to him . . . and we added
fuel to the fire yesterday, you did, that is, with your story about the painter; it was
a nice conversation, when he was, perhaps, mad on that very point! If only I’d
known what happened then at the police station and that some wretch . . . had
insulted him with this suspicion! Hm . . . I would not have allowed that
conversation yesterday. These monomaniacs will make a mountain out of a mole-
hill . . . and see their fancies as solid realities . . . . As far as I remember, it was
Zametov’s story that cleared up half the mystery, to my mind. Why, I know one
case in which a hypochondriac, a man of forty, cut the throat of a little boy of
eight, because he couldn’t endure the jokes he made every day at table! And in this
case his rags, the insolent police officer, the fever and this suspicion! All that
working upon a man half frantic with hypochondria, and with his morbid
exceptional vanity! That may well have been the starting-point of illness. Well,
bother it all! . . . And, by the way, that Zametov certainly is a nice fellow, but hm
. . . he shouldn’t have told all that last night. He is an awful chatterbox!”
“But whom did he tell it to? You and me?”

“And Porfiry.”
“What does that matter?”
“And, by the way, have you any influence on them, his mother and sister? Tell
them to be more careful with him to-day . . . .”
“They’ll get on all right!” Razumihin answered reluctantly.

“Why is he so set against this Luzhin? A man with money and she doesn’t
seem to dislike him . . . and they haven’t a farthing, I suppose? eh?”
 “But what business is it of yours?” Razumihin cried with annoyance. “How
can I tell whether they’ve a farthing? Ask them yourself and perhaps you’ll find out
. . . .”
“Foo! what an ass you are sometimes! Last night’s wine has not gone off yet.
. . . Good-bye; thank your Praskovya Pavlovna from me for my night’s lodging. She
locked herself in, made no reply to my bonjour through the door; she was up at
seven o’clock, the samovar was taken into her from the kitchen. I was not
vouchsafed a personal interview . . . .”

At nine o’clock precisely Razumihin reached the lodgings at Bakaleyev’s

house. Both ladies were waiting for him with nervous impatience. They had risen
at seven o’clock or earlier. He entered looking as black as night, bowed awkwardly
and was at once furious with himself for it. He had reckoned without his host:
Pulcheria Alexandrovna fairly rushed at him, seized him by both hands and was
almost kissing them. He glanced timidly at Avdotya Romanovna, but her proud
countenance wore at that moment an expression of such gratitude and
friendliness, such complete and unlooked-for respect (in place of the sneering
looks and ill-disguised contempt he had expected), that it threw him into greater
confusion than if he had been met with abuse. Fortunately there was a subject for
conversation, and he made haste to snatch at it.
Hearing that everything was going well and that Rodya had not yet waked,
Pulcheria Alexandrovna declared that she was glad to hear it, because “she had
something which it was very, very necessary to talk over beforehand.” Then
followed an inquiry about breakfast and an invitation to have it with them; they
had waited to have it with him. Avdotya Romanovna rang the bell: it was
answered by a ragged dirty waiter, and they asked him to bring tea which was
served at last, but in such a dirty and disorderly way that the ladies were ashamed.
Razumihin vigorously attacked the lodgings, but, remembering Luzhin, stopped in
embarrassment and was greatly relieved by Pulcheria Alexandrovna’s questions,
which showered in a continual stream upon him.
He talked for three quarters of an hour, being constantly interrupted by their
questions, and succeeded in describing to them all the most important facts he
knew of the last year of Raskolnikov’s life, concluding with a circumstantial
account of his illness. He omitted, however, many things, which were better
omitted, including the scene at the police station with all its consequences. They
listened eagerly to his story, and, when he thought he had finished and satisfied
his listeners, he found that they considered he had hardly begun.

“Tell me, tell me! What do you think . . .? Excuse me, I still don’t know your
name!” Pulcheria Alexandrovna put in hastily.

“Dmitri Prokofitch.”
“I should like very, very much to know, Dmitri Prokofitch . . . how he looks . . .
on things in general now, that is, how can I explain, what are his likes and
dislikes? Is he always so irritable? Tell me, if you can, what are his hopes and, so
to say, his dreams? Under what influences is he now? In a word, I should like …”
“Ah, mother, how can he answer all that at once?” observed Dounia.
“Good heavens, I had not expected to find him in the least like this, Dmitri
Prokofitch!”
“Naturally,” answered Razumihin. “I have no mother, but my uncle comes
every year and almost every time he can scarcely recognise me, even in
appearance, though he is a clever man; and your three years’ separation means a
great deal. What am I to tell you? I have known Rodion for a year and a half; he is
morose, gloomy, proud and haughty, and of late — and perhaps for a long time
before — he has been suspicious and fanciful. He has a noble nature and a kind
heart. He does not like showing his feelings and would rather do a cruel thing than
open his heart freely. Sometimes, though, he is not at all morbid, but simply cold
and inhumanly callous; it’s as though he were alternating between two characters.
Sometimes he is fearfully reserved! He says he is so busy that everything is a
hindrance, and yet he lies in bed doing nothing. He doesn’t jeer at things, not
because he hasn’t the wit, but as though he hadn’t time to waste on such trifles. He
never listens to what is said to him. He is never interested in what interests other
people at any given moment. He thinks very highly of himself and perhaps he is
right. Well, what more? I think your arrival will have a most beneficial influence
upon him.”
“God grant it may,” cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna, distressed by Razumihin’s
account of her Rodya.
And Razumihin ventured to look more boldly at Avdotya Romanovna at last.
He glanced at her often while he was talking, but only for a moment and looked
away again at once. Avdotya Romanovna sat at the table, listening attentively,
then got up again and began walking to and fro with her arms folded and her lips
compressed, occasionally putting in a question, without stopping her walk. She
had the same habit of not listening to what was said. She was wearing a dress of
thin dark stuff and she had a white transparent scarf round her neck. Razumihin
soon detected signs of extreme poverty in their belongings. Had Avdotya
Romanovna been dressed like a queen, he felt that he would not be afraid of her,
but perhaps just because she was poorly dressed and that he noticed all the misery
of her surroundings, his heart was filled with dread and he began to be afraid of
every word he uttered, every gesture he made, which was very trying for a man
who already felt diffident.
“You’ve told us a great deal that is interesting about my brother’s character
. . . and have told it impartially. I am glad. I thought that you were too uncritically
devoted to him,” observed Avdotya Romanovna with a smile. “I think you are right
that he needs a woman’s care,” she added thoughtfully.
“I didn’t say so; but I daresay you are right, only …”

“What?”

“He loves no one and perhaps he never will,” Razumihin declared decisively.

“You mean he is not capable of love?”

“Do you know, Avdotya Romanovna, you are awfully like your brother, in
everything, indeed!” he blurted out suddenly to his own surprise, but
remembering at once what he had just before said of her brother, he turned as red
as a crab and was overcome with confusion. Avdotya Romanovna couldn’t help
laughing when she looked at him.

“You may both be mistaken about Rodya,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna remarked,

slightly piqued. “I am not talking of our present difficulty, Dounia. What Pyotr
Petrovitch writes in this letter and what you and I have supposed may be
mistaken, but you can’t imagine, Dmitri Prokofitch, how moody and, so to say,
capricious he is. I never could depend on what he would do when he was only
fifteen. And I am sure that he might do something now that nobody else would
think of doing . . . Well, for instance, do you know how a year and a half ago he
astounded me and gave me a shock that nearly killed me, when he had the idea of
marrying that girl — what was her name — his landlady’s daughter?”

“Did you hear about that affair?” asked Avdotya Romanovna.

 “Do you suppose ——” Pulcheria Alexandrovna continued warmly. “Do you
suppose that my tears, my entreaties, my illness, my possible death from grief, our
poverty would have made him pause? No, he would calmly have disregarded all
obstacles. And yet it isn’t that he doesn’t love us!”

“He has never spoken a word of that affair to me,” Razumihin answered
cautiously. “But I did hear something from Praskovya Pavlovna herself, though
she is by no means a gossip. And what I heard certainly was rather strange.”

“And what did you hear?” both the ladies asked at once.
“Well, nothing very special. I only learned that the marriage, which only failed
to take place through the girl’s death, was not at all to Praskovya Pavlovna’s liking.
They say, too, the girl was not at all pretty, in fact I am told positively ugly . . . and
such an invalid . . . and queer. But she seems to have had some good qualities. She
must have had some good qualities or it’s quite inexplicable. . . . She had no
money either and he wouldn’t have considered her money. . . . But it’s always
difficult to judge in such matters.”

“I am sure she was a good girl,” Avdotya Romanovna observed briefly.

“God forgive me, I simply rejoiced at her death. Though I don’t know which of
them would have caused most misery to the other — he to her or she to him,”
Pulcheria Alexandrovna concluded. Then she began tentatively questioning him
about the scene on the previous day with Luzhin, hesitating and continually
glancing at Dounia, obviously to the latter’s annoyance. This incident more than
all the rest evidently caused her uneasiness, even consternation. Razumihin
described it in detail again, but this time he added his own conclusions: he openly
blamed Raskolnikov for intentionally insulting Pyotr Petrovitch, not seeking to
excuse him on the score of his illness.

“He had planned it before his illness,” he added.

“I think so, too,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna agreed with a dejected air. But she
was very much surprised at hearing Razumihin express himself so carefully and
even with a certain respect about Pyotr Petrovitch. Avdotya Romanovna, too, was
struck by it.

“So this is your opinion of Pyotr Petrovitch?” Pulcheria Alexandrovna could

not resist asking.
 “I can have no other opinion of your daughter’s future husband,” Razumihin
answered firmly and with warmth, “and I don’t say it simply from vulgar
politeness, but because . . . simply because Avdotya Romanovna has of her own
free will deigned to accept this man. If I spoke so rudely of him last night, it was
because I was disgustingly drunk and . . . mad besides; yes, mad, crazy, I lost my
head completely . . . and this morning I am ashamed of it.”

He crimsoned and ceased speaking. Avdotya Romanovna flushed, but did not
break the silence. She had not uttered a word from the moment they began to
speak of Luzhin.

Without her support Pulcheria Alexandrovna obviously did not know what to
do. At last, faltering and continually glancing at her daughter, she confessed that
she was exceedingly worried by one circumstance.

“You see, Dmitri Prokofitch,” she began. “I’ll be perfectly open with Dmitri
Prokofitch, Dounia?”
“Of course, mother,” said Avdotya Romanovna emphatically.

“This is what it is,” she began in haste, as though the permission to speak of
her trouble lifted a weight off her mind. “Very early this morning we got a note
from Pyotr Petrovitch in reply to our letter announcing our arrival. He promised
to meet us at the station, you know; instead of that he sent a servant to bring us
the address of these lodgings and to show us the way; and he sent a message that
he would be here himself this morning. But this morning this note came from him.
You’d better read it yourself; there is one point in it which worries me very much
. . . you will soon see what that is, and . . . tell me your candid opinion, Dmitri
Prokofitch! You know Rodya’s character better than anyone and no one can advise
us better than you can. Dounia, I must tell you, made her decision at once, but I
still don’t feel sure how to act and I . . . I’ve been waiting for your opinion.”
Razumihin opened the note which was dated the previous evening and read
as follows:

“Dear Madam, Pulcheria Alexandrovna, I have the honour to inform you that
owing to unforeseen obstacles I was rendered unable to meet you at the railway
station; I sent a very competent person with the same object in view. I likewise
shall be deprived of the honour of an interview with you to-morrow morning by
business in the Senate that does not admit of delay, and also that I may not
intrude on your family circle while you are meeting your son, and Avdotya
Romanovna her brother. I shall have the honour of visiting you and paying you my
respects at your lodgings not later than to-morrow evening at eight o’clock
precisely, and herewith I venture to present my earnest and, I may add,
imperative request that Rodion Romanovitch may not be present at our interview
— as he offered me a gross and unprecedented affront on the occasion of my visit
to him in his illness yesterday, and, moreover, since I desire from you personally
an indispensable and circumstantial explanation upon a certain point, in regard to
which I wish to learn your own interpretation. I have the honour to inform you, in
anticipation, that if, in spite of my request, I meet Rodion Romanovitch, I shall be
compelled to withdraw immediately and then you have only yourself to blame. I
write on the assumption that Rodion Romanovitch who appeared so ill at my visit,
suddenly recovered two hours later and so, being able to leave the house, may visit
you also. I was confirmed in that belief by the testimony of my own eyes in the
lodging of a drunken man who was run over and has since died, to whose
daughter, a young woman of notorious behaviour, he gave twenty-five roubles on
the pretext of the funeral, which gravely surprised me knowing what pains you
were at to raise that sum. Herewith expressing my special respect to your
estimable daughter, Avdotya Romanovna, I beg you to accept the respectful
homage of

“Your humble servant,

“P. LUZHIN.”
“What am I to do now, Dmitri Prokofitch?” began Pulcheria Alexandrovna,
almost weeping. “How can I ask Rodya not to come? Yesterday he insisted so
earnestly on our refusing Pyotr Petrovitch and now we are ordered not to receive
Rodya! He will come on purpose if he knows, and . . . what will happen then?”
“Act on Avdotya Romanovna’s decision,” Razumihin answered calmly at once.

“Oh, dear me! She says . . . goodness knows what she says, she doesn’t explain
her object! She says that it would be best, at least, not that it would be best, but
that it’s absolutely necessary that Rodya should make a point of being here at
eight o’clock and that they must meet. . . . I didn’t want even to show him the
letter, but to prevent him from coming by some stratagem with your help . . .
because he is so irritable. . . . Besides I don’t understand about that drunkard who
died and that daughter, and how he could have given the daughter all the money
. . . which …”

“Which cost you such sacrifice, mother,” put in Avdotya Romanovna.

“He was not himself yesterday,” Razumihin said thoughtfully, “if you only
knew what he was up to in a restaurant yesterday, though there was sense in it too.
. . . Hm! He did say something, as we were going home yesterday evening, about a
dead man and a girl, but I didn’t understand a word. . . . But last night, I myself …”

“The best thing, mother, will be for us to go to him ourselves and there I
assure you we shall see at once what’s to be done. Besides, it’s getting late — good
heavens, it’s past ten,” she cried looking at a splendid gold enamelled watch which
hung round her neck on a thin Venetian chain, and looked entirely out of keeping
with the rest of her dress. “A present from her fiancé,” thought Razumihin.
“We must start, Dounia, we must start,” her mother cried in a flutter. “He will
be thinking we are still angry after yesterday, from our coming so late. Merciful
heavens!”

While she said this she was hurriedly putting on her hat and mantle; Dounia,
too, put on her things. Her gloves, as Razumihin noticed, were not merely shabby
but had holes in them, and yet this evident poverty gave the two ladies an air of
special dignity, which is always found in people who know how to wear poor
clothes. Razumihin looked reverently at Dounia and felt proud of escorting her.
“The queen who mended her stockings in prison,” he thought, “must have looked
then every inch a queen and even more a queen than at sumptuous banquets and
levées.”

“My God!” exclaimed Pulcheria Alexandrovna, “little did I think that I should
ever fear seeing my son, my darling, darling Rodya! I am afraid, Dmitri
Prokofitch,” she added, glancing at him timidly.

“Don’t be afraid, mother,” said Dounia, kissing her, “better have faith in him.”
“Oh, dear, I have faith in him, but I haven’t slept all night,” exclaimed the
poor woman.

They came out into the street.

“Do you know, Dounia, when I dozed a little this morning I dreamed of Marfa
Petrovna . . . she was all in white . . . she came up to me, took my hand, and shook
her head at me, but so sternly as though she were blaming me. . . . Is that a good
omen? Oh, dear me! You don’t know, Dmitri Prokofitch, that Marfa Petrovna’s
dead!”
“No, I didn’t know; who is Marfa Petrovna?”

“She died suddenly; and only fancy …”

“Afterwards, mamma,” put in Dounia. “He doesn’t know who Marfa Petrovna
is.”

“Ah, you don’t know? And I was thinking that you knew all about us. Forgive
me, Dmitri Prokofitch, I don’t know what I am thinking about these last few days.
I look upon you really as a providence for us, and so I took it for granted that you
knew all about us. I look on you as a relation. . . . Don’t be angry with me for
saying so. Dear me, what’s the matter with your right hand? Have you knocked
it?”

“Yes, I bruised it,” muttered Razumihin overjoyed.

“I sometimes speak too much from the heart, so that Dounia finds fault with
me. . . . But, dear me, what a cupboard he lives in! I wonder whether he is awake?
Does this woman, his landlady, consider it a room? Listen, you say he does not like
to show his feelings, so perhaps I shall annoy him with my . . . weaknesses? Do
advise me, Dmitri Prokofitch, how am I to treat him? I feel quite distracted, you
know.”

“Don’t question him too much about anything if you see him frown; don’t ask
him too much about his health; he doesn’t like that.”

“Ah, Dmitri Prokofitch, how hard it is to be a mother! But here are the stairs.
. . . What an awful staircase!”

“Mother, you are quite pale, don’t distress yourself, darling,” said Dounia
caressing her, then with flashing eyes she added: “He ought to be happy at seeing
you, and you are tormenting yourself so.”

“Wait, I’ll peep in and see whether he has waked up.”

The ladies slowly followed Razumihin, who went on before, and when they
reached the landlady’s door on the fourth storey, they noticed that her door was a
tiny crack open and that two keen black eyes were watching them from the
darkness within. When their eyes met, the door was suddenly shut with such a
slam that Pulcheria Alexandrovna almost cried out.
 CHAPTER III

“He is well, quite well!” Zossimov cried cheerfully as they entered.

He had come in ten minutes earlier and was sitting in the same place as
before, on the sofa. Raskolnikov was sitting in the opposite corner, fully dressed
and carefully washed and combed, as he had not been for some time past. The
room was immediately crowded, yet Nastasya managed to follow the visitors in
and stayed to listen.

Raskolnikov really was almost well, as compared with his condition the day
before, but he was still pale, listless, and sombre. He looked like a wounded man
or one who has undergone some terrible physical suffering. His brows were
knitted, his lips compressed, his eyes feverish. He spoke little and reluctantly, as
though performing a duty, and there was a restlessness in his movements.

He only wanted a sling on his arm or a bandage on his finger to complete the
impression of a man with a painful abscess or a broken arm. The pale, sombre face
lighted up for a moment when his mother and sister entered, but this only gave it
a look of more intense suffering, in place of its listless dejection. The light soon
died away, but the look of suffering remained, and Zossimov, watching and
studying his patient with all the zest of a young doctor beginning to practise,
noticed in him no joy at the arrival of his mother and sister, but a sort of bitter,
hidden determination to bear another hour or two of inevitable torture. He saw
later that almost every word of the following conversation seemed to touch on
some sore place and irritate it. But at the same time he marvelled at the power of
controlling himself and hiding his feelings in a patient who the previous day had,
like a monomaniac, fallen into a frenzy at the slightest word.

“Yes, I see myself now that I am almost well,” said Raskolnikov, giving his
mother and sister a kiss of welcome which made Pulcheria Alexandrovna radiant
at once. “And I don’t say this as I did yesterday,” he said, addressing Razumihin,
with a friendly pressure of his hand.
“Yes, indeed, I am quite surprised at him to-day,” began Zossimov, much
delighted at the ladies’ entrance, for he had not succeeded in keeping up a
conversation with his patient for ten minutes. “In another three or four days, if he
goes on like this, he will be just as before, that is, as he was a month ago, or two . . .
or perhaps even three. This has been coming on for a long while. . . . eh? Confess,
now, that it has been perhaps your own fault?” he added, with a tentative smile, as
though still afraid of irritating him.
“It is very possible,” answered Raskolnikov coldly.

“I should say, too,” continued Zossimov with zest, “that your complete
recovery depends solely on yourself. Now that one can talk to you, I should like to
impress upon you that it is essential to avoid the elementary, so to speak,
fundamental causes tending to produce your morbid condition: in that case you
will be cured, if not, it will go from bad to worse. These fundamental causes I don’t
know, but they must be known to you. You are an intelligent man, and must have
observed yourself, of course. I fancy the first stage of your derangement coincides
with your leaving the university. You must not be left without occupation, and so,
work and a definite aim set before you might, I fancy, be very beneficial.”
“Yes, yes; you are perfectly right. . . . I will make haste and return to the
university: and then everything will go smoothly . . . .”

Zossimov, who had begun his sage advice partly to make an effect before the
ladies, was certainly somewhat mystified, when, glancing at his patient, he
observed unmistakable mockery on his face. This lasted an instant, however.
Pulcheria Alexandrovna began at once thanking Zossimov, especially for his visit
to their lodging the previous night.

“What! he saw you last night?” Raskolnikov asked, as though startled. “Then
you have not slept either after your journey.”

“Ach, Rodya, that was only till two o’clock. Dounia and I never go to bed
before two at home.”

“I don’t know how to thank him either,” Raskolnikov went on, suddenly
frowning and looking down. “Setting aside the question of payment — forgive me
for referring to it (he turned to Zossimov)— I really don’t know what I have done
to deserve such special attention from you! I simply don’t understand it . . . and
. . . and . . . it weighs upon me, indeed, because I don’t understand it. I tell you so
candidly.”

“Don’t be irritated.” Zossimov forced himself to laugh. “Assume that you are
my first patient — well — we fellows just beginning to practise love our first
patients as if they were our children, and some almost fall in love with them. And,
of course, I am not rich in patients.”

“I say nothing about him,” added Raskolnikov, pointing to Razumihin,

“though he has had nothing from me either but insult and trouble.”

“What nonsense he is talking! Why, you are in a sentimental mood to-day, are
you?” shouted Razumihin.
If he had had more penetration he would have seen that there was no trace of
sentimentality in him, but something indeed quite the opposite. But Avdotya
Romanovna noticed it. She was intently and uneasily watching her brother.

“As for you, mother, I don’t dare to speak,” he went on, as though repeating a
lesson learned by heart. “It is only to-day that I have been able to realise a little
how distressed you must have been here yesterday, waiting for me to come back.”

When he had said this, he suddenly held out his hand to his sister, smiling
without a word. But in this smile there was a flash of real unfeigned feeling.
Dounia caught it at once, and warmly pressed his hand, overjoyed and thankful. It
was the first time he had addressed her since their dispute the previous day. The
mother’s face lighted up with ecstatic happiness at the sight of this conclusive
unspoken reconciliation. “Yes, that is what I love him for,” Razumihin,
exaggerating it all, muttered to himself, with a vigorous turn in his chair. “He has
these movements.”

“And how well he does it all,” the mother was thinking to herself. “What
generous impulses he has, and how simply, how delicately he put an end to all the
misunderstanding with his sister — simply by holding out his hand at the right
minute and looking at her like that. . . . And what fine eyes he has, and how fine
his whole face is! . . . He is even better looking than Dounia. . . . But, good heavens,
what a suit — how terribly he’s dressed! . . . Vasya, the messenger boy in Afanasy
Ivanitch’s shop, is better dressed! I could rush at him and hug him . . . weep over
him — but I am afraid. . . . Oh, dear, he’s so strange! He’s talking kindly, but I’m
afraid! Why, what am I afraid of? …”
“Oh, Rodya, you wouldn’t believe,” she began suddenly, in haste to answer his
words to her, “how unhappy Dounia and I were yesterday! Now that it’s all over
and done with and we are quite happy again — I can tell you. Fancy, we ran here
almost straight from the train to embrace you and that woman — ah, here she is!
Good morning, Nastasya! . . . She told us at once that you were lying in a high
fever and had just run away from the doctor in delirium, and they were looking for
you in the streets. You can’t imagine how we felt! I couldn’t help thinking of the
tragic end of Lieutenant Potanchikov, a friend of your father’s — you can’t
remember him, Rodya — who ran out in the same way in a high fever and fell into
the well in the court-yard and they couldn’t pull him out till next day. Of course,
we exaggerated things. We were on the point of rushing to find Pyotr Petrovitch to
ask him to help. . . . Because we were alone, utterly alone,” she said plaintively and
stopped short, suddenly, recollecting it was still somewhat dangerous to speak of
Pyotr Petrovitch, although “we are quite happy again.”
“Yes, yes. . . . Of course it’s very annoying . . . .” Raskolnikov muttered in
reply, but with such a preoccupied and inattentive air that Dounia gazed at him in
perplexity.

“What else was it I wanted to say?” He went on trying to recollect. “Oh, yes;
mother, and you too, Dounia, please don’t think that I didn’t mean to come and
see you to-day and was waiting for you to come first.”
“What are you saying, Rodya?” cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna. She, too, was
surprised.
“Is he answering us as a duty?” Dounia wondered. “Is he being reconciled and
asking forgiveness as though he were performing a rite or repeating a lesson?”

“I’ve only just waked up, and wanted to go to you, but was delayed owing to
my clothes; I forgot yesterday to ask her . . . Nastasya . . . to wash out the blood . . .
I’ve only just dressed.”
“Blood! What blood?” Pulcheria Alexandrovna asked in alarm.

“Oh, nothing — don’t be uneasy. It was when I was wandering about

yesterday, rather delirious, I chanced upon a man who had been run over . . . a
clerk …”
“Delirious? But you remember everything!” Razumihin interrupted.
“That’s true,” Raskolnikov answered with special carefulness. “I remember
everything even to the slightest detail, and yet — why I did that and went there
and said that, I can’t clearly explain now.”

“A familiar phenomenon,” interposed Zossimov, “actions are sometimes

performed in a masterly and most cunning way, while the direction of the actions
is deranged and dependent on various morbid impressions — it’s like a dream.”
“Perhaps it’s a good thing really that he should think me almost a madman,”
thought Raskolnikov.
“Why, people in perfect health act in the same way too,” observed Dounia,
looking uneasily at Zossimov.
“There is some truth in your observation,” the latter replied. “In that sense we
are certainly all not infrequently like madmen, but with the slight difference that
the deranged are somewhat madder, for we must draw a line. A normal man, it is
true, hardly exists. Among dozens — perhaps hundreds of thousands — hardly one
is to be met with.”
At the word “madman,” carelessly dropped by Zossimov in his chatter on his
favourite subject, everyone frowned.
Raskolnikov sat seeming not to pay attention, plunged in thought with a
strange smile on his pale lips. He was still meditating on something.
“Well, what about the man who was run over? I interrupted you!” Razumihin
cried hastily.
“What?” Raskolnikov seemed to wake up. “Oh . . . I got spattered with blood
helping to carry him to his lodging. By the way, mamma, I did an unpardonable
thing yesterday. I was literally out of my mind. I gave away all the money you sent
me . . . to his wife for the funeral. She’s a widow now, in consumption, a poor
creature . . . three little children, starving . . . nothing in the house . . . there’s a
daughter, too . . . perhaps you’d have given it yourself if you’d seen them. But I had
no right to do it I admit, especially as I knew how you needed the money yourself.
To help others one must have the right to do it, or else Crevez, chiens, si vous
n’êtes pas contents.” He laughed, “That’s right, isn’t it, Dounia?”

“No, it’s not,” answered Dounia firmly.

“Bah! you, too, have ideals,” he muttered, looking at her almost with hatred,
and smiling sarcastically. “I ought to have considered that. . . . Well, that’s
praiseworthy, and it’s better for you . . . and if you reach a line you won’t overstep,
you will be unhappy . . . and if you overstep it, maybe you will be still unhappier.
. . . But all that’s nonsense,” he added irritably, vexed at being carried away. “I
only meant to say that I beg your forgiveness, mother,” he concluded, shortly and
abruptly.
“That’s enough, Rodya, I am sure that everything you do is very good,” said
his mother, delighted.
“Don’t be too sure,” he answered, twisting his mouth into a smile.

A silence followed. There was a certain constraint in all this conversation, and
in the silence, and in the reconciliation, and in the forgiveness, and all were feeling
it.
“It is as though they were afraid of me,” Raskolnikov was thinking to himself,
looking askance at his mother and sister. Pulcheria Alexandrovna was indeed
growing more timid the longer she kept silent.
“Yet in their absence I seemed to love them so much,” flashed through his
mind.

“Do you know, Rodya, Marfa Petrovna is dead,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna

suddenly blurted out.

“What Marfa Petrovna?”

“Oh, mercy on us — Marfa Petrovna Svidrigaïlov. I wrote you so much about

her.”
“A-a-h! Yes, I remember. . . . So she’s dead! Oh, really?” he roused himself
suddenly, as if waking up. “What did she die of?”

“Only imagine, quite suddenly,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna answered hurriedly,

encouraged by his curiosity. “On the very day I was sending you that letter! Would
you believe it, that awful man seems to have been the cause of her death. They say
he beat her dreadfully.”

“Why, were they on such bad terms?” he asked, addressing his sister.
“Not at all. Quite the contrary indeed. With her, he was always very patient,
considerate even. In fact, all those seven years of their married life he gave way to
her, too much so indeed, in many cases. All of a sudden he seems to have lost
patience.”
“Then he could not have been so awful if he controlled himself for seven
years? You seem to be defending him, Dounia?”

“No, no, he’s an awful man! I can imagine nothing more awful!” Dounia
answered, almost with a shudder, knitting her brows, and sinking into thought.
“That had happened in the morning,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna went on
hurriedly. “And directly afterwards she ordered the horses to be harnessed to
drive to the town immediately after dinner. She always used to drive to the town in
such cases. She ate a very good dinner, I am told . . . .”
“After the beating?”

“That was always her . . . habit; and immediately after dinner, so as not to be
late in starting, she went to the bath-house. . . . You see, she was undergoing some
treatment with baths. They have a cold spring there, and she used to bathe in it
regularly every day, and no sooner had she got into the water when she suddenly
had a stroke!”

“I should think so,” said Zossimov.

“And did he beat her badly?”

“What does that matter!” put in Dounia.

“H’m! But I don’t know why you want to tell us such gossip, mother,” said
Raskolnikov irritably, as it were in spite of himself.

“Ah, my dear, I don’t know what to talk about,” broke from Pulcheria
Alexandrovna.

“Why, are you all afraid of me?” he asked, with a constrained smile.
“That’s certainly true,” said Dounia, looking directly and sternly at her
brother. “Mother was crossing herself with terror as she came up the stairs.”

His face worked, as though in convulsion.

“Ach, what are you saying, Dounia! Don’t be angry, please, Rodya. . . . Why
did you say that, Dounia?” Pulcheria Alexandrovna began, overwhelmed —“You
see, coming here, I was dreaming all the way, in the train, how we should meet,
how we should talk over everything together. . . . And I was so happy, I did not
notice the journey! But what am I saying? I am happy now. . . . You should not,
Dounia. . . . I am happy now — simply in seeing you, Rodya . . . .”

“Hush, mother,” he muttered in confusion, not looking at her, but pressing

her hand. “We shall have time to speak freely of everything!”
As he said this, he was suddenly overwhelmed with confusion and turned
pale. Again that awful sensation he had known of late passed with deadly chill
over his soul. Again it became suddenly plain and perceptible to him that he had
just told a fearful lie — that he would never now be able to speak freely of
everything — that he would never again be able to speak of anything to anyone.
The anguish of this thought was such that for a moment he almost forgot himself.
He got up from his seat, and not looking at anyone walked towards the door.

“What are you about?” cried Razumihin, clutching him by the arm.
He sat down again, and began looking about him, in silence. They were all
looking at him in perplexity.

“But what are you all so dull for?” he shouted, suddenly and quite
unexpectedly. “Do say something! What’s the use of sitting like this? Come, do
speak. Let us talk. . . . We meet together and sit in silence. . . . Come, anything!”

“Thank God; I was afraid the same thing as yesterday was beginning again,”
said Pulcheria Alexandrovna, crossing herself.
“What is the matter, Rodya?” asked Avdotya Romanovna, distrustfully.

“Oh, nothing! I remembered something,” he answered, and suddenly laughed.

“Well, if you remembered something; that’s all right! . . . I was beginning to

think …” muttered Zossimov, getting up from the sofa. “It is time for me to be off.
I will look in again perhaps . . . if I can …” He made his bows, and went out.

“What an excellent man!” observed Pulcheria Alexandrovna.

“Yes, excellent, splendid, well-educated, intelligent,” Raskolnikov began,

suddenly speaking with surprising rapidity, and a liveliness he had not shown till
then. “I can’t remember where I met him before my illness. . . . I believe I have met
him somewhere —— . . . And this is a good man, too,” he nodded at Razumihin.
“Do you like him, Dounia?” he asked her; and suddenly, for some unknown
reason, laughed.

“Very much,” answered Dounia.

“Foo! — what a pig you are!” Razumihin protested, blushing in terrible

confusion, and he got up from his chair. Pulcheria Alexandrovna smiled faintly,
but Raskolnikov laughed aloud.

“Where are you off to?”

 “I must go.”
“You need not at all. Stay. Zossimov has gone, so you must. Don’t go. What’s
the time? Is it twelve o’clock? What a pretty watch you have got, Dounia. But why
are you all silent again? I do all the talking.”

“It was a present from Marfa Petrovna,” answered Dounia.

“And a very expensive one!” added Pulcheria Alexandrovna.

“A-ah! What a big one! Hardly like a lady’s.”

“I like that sort,” said Dounia.

“So it is not a present from her fiancé,” thought Razumihin, and was
unreasonably delighted.

“I thought it was Luzhin’s present,” observed Raskolnikov.

“No, he has not made Dounia any presents yet.”

“A-ah! And do you remember, mother, I was in love and wanted to get
married?” he said suddenly, looking at his mother, who was disconcerted by the
sudden change of subject and the way he spoke of it.
“Oh, yes, my dear.”

Pulcheria Alexandrovna exchanged glances with Dounia and Razumihin.

“H’m, yes. What shall I tell you? I don’t remember much indeed. She was
such a sickly girl,” he went on, growing dreamy and looking down again. “Quite an
invalid. She was fond of giving alms to the poor, and was always dreaming of a
nunnery, and once she burst into tears when she began talking to me about it. Yes,
yes, I remember. I remember very well. She was an ugly little thing. I really don’t
know what drew me to her then — I think it was because she was always ill. If she
had been lame or hunchback, I believe I should have liked her better still,” he
smiled dreamily. “Yes, it was a sort of spring delirium.”

“No, it was not only spring delirium,” said Dounia, with warm feeling.
He fixed a strained intent look on his sister, but did not hear or did not
understand her words. Then, completely lost in thought, he got up, went up to his
mother, kissed her, went back to his place and sat down.

“You love her even now?” said Pulcheria Alexandrovna, touched.

 “Her? Now? Oh, yes. . . . You ask about her? No . . . that’s all now, as it were,
in another world . . . and so long ago. And indeed everything happening here
seems somehow far away.” He looked attentively at them. “You, now . . . I seem to
be looking at you from a thousand miles away . . . but, goodness knows why we are
talking of that! And what’s the use of asking about it?” he added with annoyance,
and biting his nails, fell into dreamy silence again.

“What a wretched lodging you have, Rodya! It’s like a tomb,” said Pulcheria
Alexandrovna, suddenly breaking the oppressive silence. “I am sure it’s quite half
through your lodging you have become so melancholy.”

“My lodging,” he answered, listlessly. “Yes, the lodging had a great deal to do
with it. . . . I thought that, too . . . . If only you knew, though, what a strange thing
you said just now, mother,” he said, laughing strangely.
A little more, and their companionship, this mother and this sister, with him
after three years’ absence, this intimate tone of conversation, in face of the utter
impossibility of really speaking about anything, would have been beyond his
power of endurance. But there was one urgent matter which must be settled one
way or the other that day — so he had decided when he woke. Now he was glad to
remember it, as a means of escape.

“Listen, Dounia,” he began, gravely and drily, “of course I beg your pardon for
yesterday, but I consider it my duty to tell you again that I do not withdraw from
my chief point. It is me or Luzhin. If I am a scoundrel, you must not be. One is
enough. If you marry Luzhin, I cease at once to look on you as a sister.”

“Rodya, Rodya! It is the same as yesterday again,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna

cried, mournfully. “And why do you call yourself a scoundrel? I can’t bear it. You
said the same yesterday.”

“Brother,” Dounia answered firmly and with the same dryness. “In all this
there is a mistake on your part. I thought it over at night, and found out the
mistake. It is all because you seem to fancy I am sacrificing myself to someone and
for someone. That is not the case at all. I am simply marrying for my own sake,
because things are hard for me. Though, of course, I shall be glad if I succeed in
being useful to my family. But that is not the chief motive for my decision . . . .”
“She is lying,” he thought to himself, biting his nails vindictively. “Proud
creature! She won’t admit she wants to do it out of charity! Too haughty! Oh, base
characters! They even love as though they hate. . . . Oh, how I . . . hate them all!”

“In fact,” continued Dounia, “I am marrying Pyotr Petrovitch because of two

evils I choose the less. I intend to do honestly all he expects of me, so I am not
deceiving him. . . . Why did you smile just now?” She, too, flushed, and there was a
gleam of anger in her eyes.

“All?” he asked, with a malignant grin.

“Within certain limits. Both the manner and form of Pyotr Petrovitch’s
courtship showed me at once what he wanted. He may, of course, think too well of
himself, but I hope he esteems me, too. . . . Why are you laughing again?”
“And why are you blushing again? You are lying, sister. You are intentionally
lying, simply from feminine obstinacy, simply to hold your own against me. . . .
You cannot respect Luzhin. I have seen him and talked with him. So you are
selling yourself for money, and so in any case you are acting basely, and I am glad
at least that you can blush for it.”

“It is not true. I am not lying,” cried Dounia, losing her composure. “I would
not marry him if I were not convinced that he esteems me and thinks highly of me.
I would not marry him if I were not firmly convinced that I can respect him.
Fortunately, I can have convincing proof of it this very day . . . and such a marriage
is not a vileness, as you say! And even if you were right, if I really had determined
on a vile action, is it not merciless on your part to speak to me like that? Why do
you demand of me a heroism that perhaps you have not either? It is despotism; it
is tyranny. If I ruin anyone, it is only myself. . . . I am not committing a murder.
Why do you look at me like that? Why are you so pale? Rodya, darling, what’s the
matter?”

“Good heavens! You have made him faint,” cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna.

“No, no, nonsense! It’s nothing. A little giddiness — not fainting. You have
fainting on the brain. H’m, yes, what was I saying? Oh, yes. In what way will you
get convincing proof to-day that you can respect him, and that he . . . esteems you,
as you said. I think you said to-day?”

“Mother, show Rodya Pyotr Petrovitch’s letter,” said Dounia.

With trembling hands, Pulcheria Alexandrovna gave him the letter. He took it
with great interest, but, before opening it, he suddenly looked with a sort of
wonder at Dounia.

“It is strange,” he said, slowly, as though struck by a new idea. “What am I

making such a fuss for? What is it all about? Marry whom you like!”

He said this as though to himself, but said it aloud, and looked for some time
at his sister, as though puzzled. He opened the letter at last, still with the same
look of strange wonder on his face. Then, slowly and attentively, he began reading,
and read it through twice. Pulcheria Alexandrovna showed marked anxiety, and all
indeed expected something particular.

“What surprises me,” he began, after a short pause, handing the letter to his
mother, but not addressing anyone in particular, “is that he is a business man, a
lawyer, and his conversation is pretentious indeed, and yet he writes such an
uneducated letter.”

They all started. They had expected something quite different.

“But they all write like that, you know,” Razumihin observed, abruptly.

“Have you read it?”

“Yes.”
“We showed him, Rodya. We . . . consulted him just now,” Pulcheria
Alexandrovna began, embarrassed.

“That’s just the jargon of the courts,” Razumihin put in. “Legal documents are
written like that to this day.”

“Legal? Yes, it’s just legal — business language — not so very uneducated, and
not quite educated — business language!”

“Pyotr Petrovitch makes no secret of the fact that he had a cheap education,
he is proud indeed of having made his own way,” Avdotya Romanovna observed,
somewhat offended by her brother’s tone.

“Well, if he’s proud of it, he has reason, I don’t deny it. You seem to be
offended, sister, at my making only such a frivolous criticism on the letter, and to
think that I speak of such trifling matters on purpose to annoy you. It is quite the
contrary, an observation apropos of the style occurred to me that is by no means
irrelevant as things stand. There is one expression, ‘blame yourselves’ put in very
significantly and plainly, and there is besides a threat that he will go away at once
if I am present. That threat to go away is equivalent to a threat to abandon you
both if you are disobedient, and to abandon you now after summoning you to
Petersburg. Well, what do you think? Can one resent such an expression from
Luzhin, as we should if he (he pointed to Razumihin) had written it, or Zossimov,
or one of us?”
“N-no,” answered Dounia, with more animation. “I saw clearly that it was too
naïvely expressed, and that perhaps he simply has no skill in writing . . . that is a
true criticism, brother. I did not expect, indeed …”

“It is expressed in legal style, and sounds coarser than perhaps he intended.
But I must disillusion you a little. There is one expression in the letter, one slander
about me, and rather a contemptible one. I gave the money last night to the
widow, a woman in consumption, crushed with trouble, and not ‘on the pretext of
the funeral,’ but simply to pay for the funeral, and not to the daughter — a young
woman, as he writes, of notorious behaviour (whom I saw last night for the first
time in my life)— but to the widow. In all this I see a too hasty desire to slander me
and to raise dissension between us. It is expressed again in legal jargon, that is to
say, with a too obvious display of the aim, and with a very naïve eagerness. He is a
man of intelligence, but to act sensibly, intelligence is not enough. It all shows the
man and . . . I don’t think he has a great esteem for you. I tell you this simply to
warn you, because I sincerely wish for your good …”

Dounia did not reply. Her resolution had been taken. She was only awaiting
the evening.

“Then what is your decision, Rodya?” asked Pulcheria Alexandrovna, who was
more uneasy than ever at the sudden, new businesslike tone of his talk.
“What decision?”

“You see Pyotr Petrovitch writes that you are not to be with us this evening,
and that he will go away if you come. So will you . . . come?”

“That, of course, is not for me to decide, but for you first, if you are not
offended by such a request; and secondly, by Dounia, if she, too, is not offended. I
will do what you think best,” he added, drily.

“Dounia has already decided, and I fully agree with her,” Pulcheria
Alexandrovna hastened to declare.
 “I decided to ask you, Rodya, to urge you not to fail to be with us at this
interview,” said Dounia. “Will you come?”

“Yes.”
“I will ask you, too, to be with us at eight o’clock,” she said, addressing
Razumihin. “Mother, I am inviting him, too.”

“Quite right, Dounia. Well, since you have decided,” added Pulcheria
Alexandrovna, “so be it. I shall feel easier myself. I do not like concealment and
deception. Better let us have the whole truth. . . . Pyotr Petrovitch may be angry or
not, now!”
 CHAPTER IV

At that moment the door was softly opened, and a young girl walked into the
room, looking timidly about her. Everyone turned towards her with surprise and
curiosity. At first sight, Raskolnikov did not recognise her. It was Sofya
Semyonovna Marmeladov. He had seen her yesterday for the first time, but at
such a moment, in such surroundings and in such a dress, that his memory
retained a very different image of her. Now she was a modestly and poorly-dressed
young girl, very young, indeed, almost like a child, with a modest and refined
manner, with a candid but somewhat frightened-looking face. She was wearing a
very plain indoor dress, and had on a shabby old-fashioned hat, but she still
carried a parasol. Unexpectedly finding the room full of people, she was not so
much embarrassed as completely overwhelmed with shyness, like a little child.
She was even about to retreat. “Oh . . . it’s you!” said Raskolnikov, extremely
astonished, and he, too, was confused. He at once recollected that his mother and
sister knew through Luzhin’s letter of “some young woman of notorious
behaviour.” He had only just been protesting against Luzhin’s calumny and
declaring that he had seen the girl last night for the first time, and suddenly she
had walked in. He remembered, too, that he had not protested against the
expression “of notorious behaviour.” All this passed vaguely and fleetingly through
his brain, but looking at her more intently, he saw that the humiliated creature
was so humiliated that he felt suddenly sorry for her. When she made a movement
to retreat in terror, it sent a pang to his heart.
“I did not expect you,” he said, hurriedly, with a look that made her stop.
“Please sit down. You come, no doubt, from Katerina Ivanovna. Allow me — not
there. Sit here . . . .”
At Sonia’s entrance, Razumihin, who had been sitting on one of Raskolnikov’s
three chairs, close to the door, got up to allow her to enter. Raskolnikov had at
first shown her the place on the sofa where Zossimov had been sitting, but feeling
that the sofa which served him as a bed, was too familiar a place, he hurriedly
motioned her to Razumihin’s chair.

“You sit here,” he said to Razumihin, putting him on the sofa.

Sonia sat down, almost shaking with terror, and looked timidly at the two
ladies. It was evidently almost inconceivable to herself that she could sit down
beside them. At the thought of it, she was so frightened that she hurriedly got up
again, and in utter confusion addressed Raskolnikov.
“I . . . I . . . have come for one minute. Forgive me for disturbing you,” she
began falteringly. “I come from Katerina Ivanovna, and she had no one to send.
Katerina Ivanovna told me to beg you . . . to be at the service . . . in the morning
. . . at Mitrofanievsky . . . and then . . . to us . . . to her . . . to do her the honour . . .
she told me to beg you …” Sonia stammered and ceased speaking.

“I will try, certainly, most certainly,” answered Raskolnikov. He, too, stood
up, and he, too, faltered and could not finish his sentence. “Please sit down,” he
said, suddenly. “I want to talk to you. You are perhaps in a hurry, but please, be so
kind, spare me two minutes,” and he drew up a chair for her.
Sonia sat down again, and again timidly she took a hurried, frightened look at
the two ladies, and dropped her eyes. Raskolnikov’s pale face flushed, a shudder
passed over him, his eyes glowed.

“Mother,” he said, firmly and insistently, “this is Sofya Semyonovna

Marmeladov, the daughter of that unfortunate Mr. Marmeladov, who was run over
yesterday before my eyes, and of whom I was just telling you.”

Pulcheria Alexandrovna glanced at Sonia, and slightly screwed up her eyes. In

spite of her embarrassment before Rodya’s urgent and challenging look, she could
not deny herself that satisfaction. Dounia gazed gravely and intently into the poor
girl’s face, and scrutinised her with perplexity. Sonia, hearing herself introduced,
tried to raise her eyes again, but was more embarrassed than ever.

“I wanted to ask you,” said Raskolnikov, hastily, “how things were arranged
yesterday. You were not worried by the police, for instance?”

“No, that was all right . . . it was too evident, the cause of death . . . they did
not worry us . . . only the lodgers are angry.”
“Why?”

“At the body’s remaining so long. You see it is hot now. So that, to-day, they
will carry it to the cemetery, into the chapel, until to-morrow. At first Katerina
Ivanovna was unwilling, but now she sees herself that it’s necessary …”

“To-day, then?”
 “She begs you to do us the honour to be in the church to-morrow for the
service, and then to be present at the funeral lunch.”

“She is giving a funeral lunch?”

“Yes . . . just a little. . . . She told me to thank you very much for helping us
yesterday. But for you, we should have had nothing for the funeral.”
All at once her lips and chin began trembling, but, with an effort, she
controlled herself, looking down again.

During the conversation, Raskolnikov watched her carefully. She had a thin,
very thin, pale little face, rather irregular and angular, with a sharp little nose and
chin. She could not have been called pretty, but her blue eyes were so clear, and
when they lighted up, there was such a kindliness and simplicity in her expression
that one could not help being attracted. Her face, and her whole figure indeed, had
another peculiar characteristic. In spite of her eighteen years, she looked almost a
little girl — almost a child. And in some of her gestures, this childishness seemed
almost absurd.

“But has Katerina Ivanovna been able to manage with such small means?
Does she even mean to have a funeral lunch?” Raskolnikov asked, persistently
keeping up the conversation.

“The coffin will be plain, of course . . . and everything will be plain, so it won’t
cost much. Katerina Ivanovna and I have reckoned it all out, so that there will be
enough left . . . and Katerina Ivanovna was very anxious it should be so. You know
one can’t . . . it’s a comfort to her . . . she is like that, you know . . . .”
“I understand, I understand . . . of course . . . why do you look at my room like
that? My mother has just said it is like a tomb.”

“You gave us everything yesterday,” Sonia said suddenly, in reply, in a loud

rapid whisper; and again she looked down in confusion. Her lips and chin were
trembling once more. She had been struck at once by Raskolnikov’s poor
surroundings, and now these words broke out spontaneously. A silence followed.
There was a light in Dounia’s eyes, and even Pulcheria Alexandrovna looked
kindly at Sonia.

“Rodya,” she said, getting up, “we shall have dinner together, of course.
Come, Dounia. . . . And you, Rodya, had better go for a little walk, and then rest
and lie down before you come to see us. . . . I am afraid we have exhausted you . . .
.”

“Yes, yes, I’ll come,” he answered, getting up fussily. “But I have something to
see to.”
“But surely you will have dinner together?” cried Razumihin, looking in
surprise at Raskolnikov. “What do you mean?”
“Yes, yes, I am coming . . . of course, of course! And you stay a minute. You do
not want him just now, do you, mother? Or perhaps I am taking him from you?”
“Oh, no, no. And will you, Dmitri Prokofitch, do us the favour of dining with
us?”
“Please do,” added Dounia.
Razumihin bowed, positively radiant. For one moment, they were all
strangely embarrassed.
“Good-bye, Rodya, that is till we meet. I do not like saying good-bye. Good-
bye, Nastasya. Ah, I have said good-bye again.”
Pulcheria Alexandrovna meant to greet Sonia, too; but it somehow failed to
come off, and she went in a flutter out of the room.
But Avdotya Romanovna seemed to await her turn, and following her mother
out, gave Sonia an attentive, courteous bow. Sonia, in confusion, gave a hurried,
frightened curtsy. There was a look of poignant discomfort in her face, as though
Avdotya Romanovna’s courtesy and attention were oppressive and painful to her.
“Dounia, good-bye,” called Raskolnikov, in the passage. “Give me your hand.”
“Why, I did give it to you. Have you forgotten?” said Dounia, turning warmly
and awkwardly to him.
“Never mind, give it to me again.” And he squeezed her fingers warmly.

Dounia smiled, flushed, pulled her hand away, and went off quite happy.
“Come, that’s capital,” he said to Sonia, going back and looking brightly at
her. “God give peace to the dead, the living have still to live. That is right, isn’t it?”
Sonia looked surprised at the sudden brightness of his face. He looked at her
for some moments in silence. The whole history of the dead father floated before
his memory in those moments . . . .
*****

“Heavens, Dounia,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna began, as soon as they were in

the street, “I really feel relieved myself at coming away — more at ease. How little
did I think yesterday in the train that I could ever be glad of that.”
“I tell you again, mother, he is still very ill. Don’t you see it? Perhaps worrying
about us upset him. We must be patient, and much, much can be forgiven.”

“Well, you were not very patient!” Pulcheria Alexandrovna caught her up,
hotly and jealously. “Do you know, Dounia, I was looking at you two. You are the
very portrait of him, and not so much in face as in soul. You are both melancholy,
both morose and hot-tempered, both haughty and both generous. . . . Surely he
can’t be an egoist, Dounia. Eh? When I think of what is in store for us this evening,
my heart sinks!”

“Don’t be uneasy, mother. What must be, will be.”

“Dounia, only think what a position we are in! What if Pyotr Petrovitch breaks
it off?” poor Pulcheria Alexandrovna blurted out, incautiously.
“He won’t be worth much if he does,” answered Dounia, sharply and
contemptuously.
“We did well to come away,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna hurriedly broke in. “He
was in a hurry about some business or other. If he gets out and has a breath of air
. . . it is fearfully close in his room. . . . But where is one to get a breath of air here?
The very streets here feel like shut-up rooms. Good heavens! what a town! . . . stay
. . . this side . . . they will crush you — carrying something. Why, it is a piano they
have got, I declare . . . how they push! . . . I am very much afraid of that young
woman, too.”
“What young woman, mother?

“Why, that Sofya Semyonovna, who was there just now.”

“Why?”

“I have a presentiment, Dounia. Well, you may believe it or not, but as soon as
she came in, that very minute, I felt that she was the chief cause of the trouble . . .
.”
 “Nothing of the sort!” cried Dounia, in vexation. “What nonsense, with your
presentiments, mother! He only made her acquaintance the evening before, and
he did not know her when she came in.”
“Well, you will see. . . . She worries me; but you will see, you will see! I was so
frightened. She was gazing at me with those eyes. I could scarcely sit still in my
chair when he began introducing her, do you remember? It seems so strange, but
Pyotr Petrovitch writes like that about her, and he introduces her to us — to you!
So he must think a great deal of her.”

“People will write anything. We were talked about and written about, too.
Have you forgotten? I am sure that she is a good girl, and that it is all nonsense.”
“God grant it may be!”

“And Pyotr Petrovitch is a contemptible slanderer,” Dounia snapped out,

suddenly.
Pulcheria Alexandrovna was crushed; the conversation was not resumed.

*****

“I will tell you what I want with you,” said Raskolnikov, drawing Razumihin
to the window.
“Then I will tell Katerina Ivanovna that you are coming,” Sonia said hurriedly,
preparing to depart.

“One minute, Sofya Semyonovna. We have no secrets. You are not in our way.
I want to have another word or two with you. Listen!” he turned suddenly to
Razumihin again. “You know that . . . what’s his name . . . Porfiry Petrovitch?”

“I should think so! He is a relation. Why?” added the latter, with interest.

“Is not he managing that case . . . you know, about that murder? . . . You were
speaking about it yesterday.”

“Yes . . . well?” Razumihin’s eyes opened wide.

“He was inquiring for people who had pawned things, and I have some
pledges there, too — trifles — a ring my sister gave me as a keepsake when I left
home, and my father’s silver watch — they are only worth five or six roubles
altogether . . . but I value them. So what am I to do now? I do not want to lose the
things, especially the watch. I was quaking just now, for fear mother would ask to
look at it, when we spoke of Dounia’s watch. It is the only thing of father’s left us.
She would be ill if it were lost. You know what women are. So tell me what to do. I
know I ought to have given notice at the police station, but would it not be better
to go straight to Porfiry? Eh? What do you think? The matter might be settled
more quickly. You see, mother may ask for it before dinner.”
“Certainly not to the police station. Certainly to Porfiry,” Razumihin shouted
in extraordinary excitement. “Well, how glad I am. Let us go at once. It is a couple
of steps. We shall be sure to find him.”
“Very well, let us go.”

“And he will be very, very glad to make your acquaintance. I have often talked
to him of you at different times. I was speaking of you yesterday. Let us go. So you
knew the old woman? So that’s it! It is all turning out splendidly. . . . Oh, yes,
Sofya Ivanovna …”

“Sofya Semyonovna,” corrected Raskolnikov. “Sofya Semyonovna, this is my

friend Razumihin, and he is a good man.”

“If you have to go now,” Sonia was beginning, not looking at Razumihin at all,
and still more embarrassed.

“Let us go,” decided Raskolnikov. “I will come to you to-day, Sofya

Semyonovna. Only tell me where you live.”
He was not exactly ill at ease, but seemed hurried, and avoided her eyes.
Sonia gave her address, and flushed as she did so. They all went out together.

“Don’t you lock up?” asked Razumihin, following him on to the stairs.

“Never,” answered Raskolnikov. “I have been meaning to buy a lock for these
two years. People are happy who have no need of locks,” he said, laughing, to
Sonia. They stood still in the gateway.

“Do you go to the right, Sofya Semyonovna? How did you find me, by the
way?” he added, as though he wanted to say something quite different. He wanted
to look at her soft clear eyes, but this was not easy.

“Why, you gave your address to Polenka yesterday.”

“Polenka? Oh, yes; Polenka, that is the little girl. She is your sister? Did I give
her the address?”
 “Why, had you forgotten?”

“No, I remember.”
“I had heard my father speak of you . . . only I did not know your name, and
he did not know it. And now I came . . . and as I had learnt your name, I asked to-
day, ‘Where does Mr. Raskolnikov live?’ I did not know you had only a room too
. . . . Good-bye, I will tell Katerina Ivanovna.”
She was extremely glad to escape at last; she went away looking down,
hurrying to get out of sight as soon as possible, to walk the twenty steps to the
turning on the right and to be at last alone, and then moving rapidly along,
looking at no one, noticing nothing, to think, to remember, to meditate on every
word, every detail. Never, never had she felt anything like this. Dimly and
unconsciously a whole new world was opening before her. She remembered
suddenly that Raskolnikov meant to come to her that day, perhaps at once!

“Only not to-day, please, not to-day!” she kept muttering with a sinking heart,
as though entreating someone, like a frightened child. “Mercy! to me . . . to that
room . . . he will see . . . oh, dear!”

She was not capable at that instant of noticing an unknown gentleman who
was watching her and following at her heels. He had accompanied her from the
gateway. At the moment when Razumihin, Raskolnikov, and she stood still at
parting on the pavement, this gentleman, who was just passing, started on hearing
Sonia’s words: “and I asked where Mr. Raskolnikov lived?” He turned a rapid but
attentive look upon all three, especially upon Raskolnikov, to whom Sonia was
speaking; then looked back and noted the house. All this was done in an instant as
he passed, and trying not to betray his interest, he walked on more slowly as
though waiting for something. He was waiting for Sonia; he saw that they were
parting, and that Sonia was going home.
“Home? Where? I’ve seen that face somewhere,” he thought. “I must find
out.”

At the turning he crossed over, looked round, and saw Sonia coming the same
way, noticing nothing. She turned the corner. He followed her on the other side.
After about fifty paces he crossed over again, overtook her and kept two or three
yards behind her.

He was a man about fifty, rather tall and thickly set, with broad high
shoulders which made him look as though he stooped a little. He wore good and
fashionable clothes, and looked like a gentleman of position. He carried a
handsome cane, which he tapped on the pavement at each step; his gloves were
spotless. He had a broad, rather pleasant face with high cheek-bones and a fresh
colour, not often seen in Petersburg. His flaxen hair was still abundant, and only
touched here and there with grey, and his thick square beard was even lighter than
his hair. His eyes were blue and had a cold and thoughtful look; his lips were
crimson. He was a remarkedly well-preserved man and looked much younger than
his years.
When Sonia came out on the canal bank, they were the only two persons on
the pavement. He observed her dreaminess and preoccupation. On reaching the
house where she lodged, Sonia turned in at the gate; he followed her, seeming
rather surprised. In the courtyard she turned to the right corner. “Bah!” muttered
the unknown gentleman, and mounted the stairs behind her. Only then Sonia
noticed him. She reached the third storey, turned down the passage, and rang at
No. 9. On the door was inscribed in chalk, “Kapernaumov, Tailor.” “Bah!” the
stranger repeated again, wondering at the strange coincidence, and he rang next
door, at No. 8. The doors were two or three yards apart.
“You lodge at Kapernaumov’s,” he said, looking at Sonia and laughing. “He
altered a waistcoat for me yesterday. I am staying close here at Madame
Resslich’s. How odd!” Sonia looked at him attentively.
“We are neighbours,” he went on gaily. “I only came to town the day before
yesterday. Good-bye for the present.”

Sonia made no reply; the door opened and she slipped in. She felt for some
reason ashamed and uneasy.
*****

On the way to Porfiry’s, Razumihin was obviously excited.

“That’s capital, brother,” he repeated several times, “and I am glad! I am

glad!”

“What are you glad about?” Raskolnikov thought to himself.

“I didn’t know that you pledged things at the old woman’s, too. And . . . was it
long ago? I mean, was it long since you were there?”
 “What a simple-hearted fool he is!”

“When was it?” Raskolnikov stopped still to recollect. “Two or three days
before her death it must have been. But I am not going to redeem the things now,”
he put in with a sort of hurried and conspicuous solicitude about the things. “I’ve
not more than a silver rouble left . . . after last night’s accursed delirium!”

He laid special emphasis on the delirium.

“Yes, yes,” Razumihin hastened to agree — with what was not clear. “Then
that’s why you . . . were stuck . . . partly . . . you know in your delirium you were
continually mentioning some rings or chains! Yes, yes . . . that’s clear, it’s all clear
now.”

“Hullo! How that idea must have got about among them. Here this man will
go to the stake for me, and I find him delighted at having it cleared up why I spoke
of rings in my delirium! What a hold the idea must have on all of them!”

“Shall we find him?” he asked suddenly.

“Oh, yes,” Razumihin answered quickly. “He is a nice fellow, you will see,
brother. Rather clumsy, that is to say, he is a man of polished manners, but I mean
clumsy in a different sense. He is an intelligent fellow, very much so indeed, but he
has his own range of ideas. . . . He is incredulous, sceptical, cynical . . . he likes to
impose on people, or rather to make fun of them. His is the old, circumstantial
method. . . . But he understands his work . . . thoroughly. . . . Last year he cleared
up a case of murder in which the police had hardly a clue. He is very, very anxious
to make your acquaintance!”
“On what grounds is he so anxious?”

“Oh, it’s not exactly . . . you see, since you’ve been ill I happen to have
mentioned you several times. . . . So, when he heard about you . . . about your
being a law student and not able to finish your studies, he said, ‘What a pity!’ And
so I concluded . . . from everything together, not only that; yesterday Zametov . . .
you know, Rodya, I talked some nonsense on the way home to you yesterday,
when I was drunk . . . I am afraid, brother, of your exaggerating it, you see.”

“What? That they think I am a madman? Maybe they are right,” he said with a
constrained smile.

“Yes, yes. . . . That is, pooh, no! . . . But all that I said (and there was
something else too) it was all nonsense, drunken nonsense.”

“But why are you apologising? I am so sick of it all!” Raskolnikov cried with
exaggerated irritability. It was partly assumed, however.

“I know, I know, I understand. Believe me, I understand. One’s ashamed to

speak of it.”
“If you are ashamed, then don’t speak of it.”

Both were silent. Razumihin was more than ecstatic and Raskolnikov
perceived it with repulsion. He was alarmed, too, by what Razumihin had just said
about Porfiry.
“I shall have to pull a long face with him too,” he thought, with a beating
heart, and he turned white, “and do it naturally, too. But the most natural thing
would be to do nothing at all. Carefully do nothing at all! No, carefully would not
be natural again. . . . Oh, well, we shall see how it turns out. . . . We shall see . . .
directly. Is it a good thing to go or not? The butterfly flies to the light. My heart is
beating, that’s what’s bad!”

“In this grey house,” said Razumihin.

“The most important thing, does Porfiry know that I was at the old hag’s flat
yesterday . . . and asked about the blood? I must find that out instantly, as soon as
I go in, find out from his face; otherwise . . . I’ll find out, if it’s my ruin.”

“I say, brother,” he said suddenly, addressing Razumihin, with a sly smile, “I

have been noticing all day that you seem to be curiously excited. Isn’t it so?”

“Excited? Not a bit of it,” said Razumihin, stung to the quick.

“Yes, brother, I assure you it’s noticeable. Why, you sat on your chair in a way
you never do sit, on the edge somehow, and you seemed to be writhing all the
time. You kept jumping up for nothing. One moment you were angry, and the next
your face looked like a sweetmeat. You even blushed; especially when you were
invited to dinner, you blushed awfully.”

“Nothing of the sort, nonsense! What do you mean?”

“But why are you wriggling out of it, like a schoolboy? By Jove, there he’s
blushing again.”

“What a pig you are!”

 “But why are you so shamefaced about it? Romeo! Stay, I’ll tell of you to-day.
Ha-ha-ha! I’ll make mother laugh, and someone else, too …”

“Listen, listen, listen, this is serious. . . . What next, you fiend!” Razumihin
was utterly overwhelmed, turning cold with horror. “What will you tell them?
Come, brother . . . foo! what a pig you are!”

“You are like a summer rose. And if only you knew how it suits you; a Romeo
over six foot high! And how you’ve washed to-day — you cleaned your nails, I
declare. Eh? That’s something unheard of! Why, I do believe you’ve got pomatum
on your hair! Bend down.”

“Pig!”
Raskolnikov laughed as though he could not restrain himself. So laughing,
they entered Porfiry Petrovitch’s flat. This is what Raskolnikov wanted: from
within they could be heard laughing as they came in, still guffawing in the passage.

“Not a word here or I’ll . . . brain you!” Razumihin whispered furiously,

seizing Raskolnikov by the shoulder.
 CHAPTER V

Raskolnikov was already entering the room. He came in looking as though he had
the utmost difficulty not to burst out laughing again. Behind him Razumihin
strode in gawky and awkward, shamefaced and red as a peony, with an utterly
crestfallen and ferocious expression. His face and whole figure really were
ridiculous at that moment and amply justified Raskolnikov’s laughter.
Raskolnikov, not waiting for an introduction, bowed to Porfiry Petrovitch, who
stood in the middle of the room looking inquiringly at them. He held out his hand
and shook hands, still apparently making desperate efforts to subdue his mirth
and utter a few words to introduce himself. But he had no sooner succeeded in
assuming a serious air and muttering something when he suddenly glanced again
as though accidentally at Razumihin, and could no longer control himself: his
stifled laughter broke out the more irresistibly the more he tried to restrain it. The
extraordinary ferocity with which Razumihin received this “spontaneous” mirth
gave the whole scene the appearance of most genuine fun and naturalness.
Razumihin strengthened this impression as though on purpose.

“Fool! You fiend,” he roared, waving his arm which at once struck a little
round table with an empty tea-glass on it. Everything was sent flying and crashing.

“But why break chairs, gentlemen? You know it’s a loss to the Crown,” Porfiry
Petrovitch quoted gaily.

Raskolnikov was still laughing, with his hand in Porfiry Petrovitch’s, but
anxious not to overdo it, awaited the right moment to put a natural end to it.
Razumihin, completely put to confusion by upsetting the table and smashing the
glass, gazed gloomily at the fragments, cursed and turned sharply to the window
where he stood looking out with his back to the company with a fiercely scowling
countenance, seeing nothing. Porfiry Petrovitch laughed and was ready to go on
laughing, but obviously looked for explanations. Zametov had been sitting in the
corner, but he rose at the visitors’ entrance and was standing in expectation with a
smile on his lips, though he looked with surprise and even it seemed incredulity at
the whole scene and at Raskolnikov with a certain embarrassment. Zametov’s
unexpected presence struck Raskolnikov unpleasantly.
“I’ve got to think of that,” he thought. “Excuse me, please,” he began, affecting
extreme embarrassment. “Raskolnikov.”

“Not at all, very pleasant to see you . . . and how pleasantly you’ve come in. . . .
Why, won’t he even say good-morning?” Porfiry Petrovitch nodded at Razumihin.
“Upon my honour I don’t know why he is in such a rage with me. I only told
him as we came along that he was like Romeo . . . and proved it. And that was all, I
think!”
“Pig!” ejaculated Razumihin, without turning round.

“There must have been very grave grounds for it, if he is so furious at the
word,” Porfiry laughed.
“Oh, you sharp lawyer! . . . Damn you all!” snapped Razumihin, and suddenly
bursting out laughing himself, he went up to Porfiry with a more cheerful face as
though nothing had happened. “That’ll do! We are all fools. To come to business.
This is my friend Rodion Romanovitch Raskolnikov; in the first place he has heard
of you and wants to make your acquaintance, and secondly, he has a little matter
of business with you. Bah! Zametov, what brought you here? Have you met
before? Have you known each other long?”

“What does this mean?” thought Raskolnikov uneasily.

Zametov seemed taken aback, but not very much so.

“Why, it was at your rooms we met yesterday,” he said easily.

“Then I have been spared the trouble. All last week he was begging me to
introduce him to you. Porfiry and you have sniffed each other out without me.
Where is your tobacco?”

Porfiry Petrovitch was wearing a dressing-gown, very clean linen, and

trodden-down slippers. He was a man of about five and thirty, short, stout even to
corpulence, and clean shaven. He wore his hair cut short and had a large round
head, particularly prominent at the back. His soft, round, rather snub-nosed face
was of a sickly yellowish colour, but had a vigorous and rather ironical expression.
It would have been good-natured except for a look in the eyes, which shone with a
watery, mawkish light under almost white, blinking eyelashes. The expression of
those eyes was strangely out of keeping with his somewhat womanish figure, and
gave it something far more serious than could be guessed at first sight.

As soon as Porfiry Petrovitch heard that his visitor had a little matter of
business with him, he begged him to sit down on the sofa and sat down himself on
the other end, waiting for him to explain his business, with that careful and over-
serious attention which is at once oppressive and embarrassing, especially to a
stranger, and especially if what you are discussing is in your opinion of far too
little importance for such exceptional solemnity. But in brief and coherent phrases
Raskolnikov explained his business clearly and exactly, and was so well satisfied
with himself that he even succeeded in taking a good look at Porfiry. Porfiry
Petrovitch did not once take his eyes off him. Razumihin, sitting opposite at the
same table, listened warmly and impatiently, looking from one to the other every
moment with rather excessive interest.

“Fool,” Raskolnikov swore to himself.

“You have to give information to the police,” Porfiry replied, with a most
businesslike air, “that having learnt of this incident, that is of the murder, you beg
to inform the lawyer in charge of the case that such and such things belong to you,
and that you desire to redeem them . . . or . . . but they will write to you.”

“That’s just the point, that at the present moment,” Raskolnikov tried his
utmost to feign embarrassment, “I am not quite in funds . . . and even this trifling
sum is beyond me . . . I only wanted, you see, for the present to declare that the
things are mine, and that when I have money . . . .”

“That’s no matter,” answered Porfiry Petrovitch, receiving his explanation of

his pecuniary position coldly, “but you can, if you prefer, write straight to me, to
say, that having been informed of the matter, and claiming such and such as your
property, you beg …”

“On an ordinary sheet of paper?” Raskolnikov interrupted eagerly, again

interested in the financial side of the question.

“Oh, the most ordinary,” and suddenly Porfiry Petrovitch looked with obvious
irony at him, screwing up his eyes and, as it were, winking at him. But perhaps it
was Raskolnikov’s fancy, for it all lasted but a moment. There was certainly
something of the sort, Raskolnikov could have sworn he winked at him, goodness
knows why.
“He knows,” flashed through his mind like lightning.
“Forgive my troubling you about such trifles,” he went on, a little
disconcerted, “the things are only worth five roubles, but I prize them particularly
for the sake of those from whom they came to me, and I must confess that I was
alarmed when I heard …”

“That’s why you were so much struck when I mentioned to Zossimov that
Porfiry was inquiring for everyone who had pledges!” Razumihin put in with
obvious intention.
This was really unbearable. Raskolnikov could not help glancing at him with a
flash of vindictive anger in his black eyes, but immediately recollected himself.

“You seem to be jeering at me, brother?” he said to him, with a well-feigned

irritability. “I dare say I do seem to you absurdly anxious about such trash; but
you mustn’t think me selfish or grasping for that, and these two things may be
anything but trash in my eyes. I told you just now that the silver watch, though it’s
not worth a cent, is the only thing left us of my father’s. You may laugh at me, but
my mother is here,” he turned suddenly to Porfiry, “and if she knew,” he turned
again hurriedly to Razumihin, carefully making his voice tremble, “that the watch
was lost, she would be in despair! You know what women are!”
“Not a bit of it! I didn’t mean that at all! Quite the contrary!” shouted
Razumihin distressed.

“Was it right? Was it natural? Did I overdo it?” Raskolnikov asked himself in
a tremor. “Why did I say that about women?”

“Oh, your mother is with you?” Porfiry Petrovitch inquired.

“Yes.”
“When did she come?”

“Last night.”
Porfiry paused as though reflecting.
“Your things would not in any case be lost,” he went on calmly and coldly. “I
have been expecting you here for some time.”
And as though that was a matter of no importance, he carefully offered the
ash-tray to Razumihin, who was ruthlessly scattering cigarette ash over the carpet.
Raskolnikov shuddered, but Porfiry did not seem to be looking at him, and was
still concerned with Razumihin’s cigarette.
“What? Expecting him? Why, did you know that he had pledges there?” cried
Razumihin.
Porfiry Petrovitch addressed himself to Raskolnikov.

“Your things, the ring and the watch, were wrapped up together, and on the
paper your name was legibly written in pencil, together with the date on which you
left them with her …”
“How observant you are!” Raskolnikov smiled awkwardly, doing his very
utmost to look him straight in the face, but he failed, and suddenly added:

“I say that because I suppose there were a great many pledges . . . that it must
be difficult to remember them all . . . . But you remember them all so clearly, and
. . . and …”
“Stupid! Feeble!” he thought. “Why did I add that?”

“But we know all who had pledges, and you are the only one who hasn’t come
forward,” Porfiry answered with hardly perceptible irony.
“I haven’t been quite well.”

“I heard that too. I heard, indeed, that you were in great distress about
something. You look pale still.”

“I am not pale at all. . . . No, I am quite well,” Raskolnikov snapped out rudely
and angrily, completely changing his tone. His anger was mounting, he could not
repress it. “And in my anger I shall betray myself,” flashed through his mind
again. “Why are they torturing me?”

“Not quite well!” Razumihin caught him up. “What next! He was unconscious
and delirious all yesterday. Would you believe, Porfiry, as soon as our backs were
turned, he dressed, though he could hardly stand, and gave us the slip and went
off on a spree somewhere till midnight, delirious all the time! Would you believe
it! Extraordinary!”
“Really delirious? You don’t say so!” Porfiry shook his head in a womanish
way.
“Nonsense! Don’t you believe it! But you don’t believe it anyway,”
Raskolnikov let slip in his anger. But Porfiry Petrovitch did not seem to catch
those strange words.
“But how could you have gone out if you hadn’t been delirious?” Razumihin
got hot suddenly. “What did you go out for? What was the object of it? And why on
the sly? Were you in your senses when you did it? Now that all danger is over I can
speak plainly.”
“I was awfully sick of them yesterday.” Raskolnikov addressed Porfiry
suddenly with a smile of insolent defiance, “I ran away from them to take lodgings
where they wouldn’t find me, and took a lot of money with me. Mr. Zametov there
saw it. I say, Mr. Zametov, was I sensible or delirious yesterday; settle our
dispute.”

He could have strangled Zametov at that moment, so hateful were his

expression and his silence to him.
“In my opinion you talked sensibly and even artfully, but you were extremely
irritable,” Zametov pronounced dryly.

“And Nikodim Fomitch was telling me to-day,” put in Porfiry Petrovitch, “that
he met you very late last night in the lodging of a man who had been run over.”
“And there,” said Razumihin, “weren’t you mad then? You gave your last
penny to the widow for the funeral. If you wanted to help, give fifteen or twenty
even, but keep three roubles for yourself at least, but he flung away all the twenty-
five at once!”
“Maybe I found a treasure somewhere and you know nothing of it? So that’s
why I was liberal yesterday. . . . Mr. Zametov knows I’ve found a treasure! Excuse
us, please, for disturbing you for half an hour with such trivialities,” he said,
turning to Porfiry Petrovitch, with trembling lips. “We are boring you, aren’t we?”

“Oh no, quite the contrary, quite the contrary! If only you knew how you
interest me! It’s interesting to look on and listen . . . and I am really glad you have
come forward at last.”
“But you might give us some tea! My throat’s dry,” cried Razumihin.

“Capital idea! Perhaps we will all keep you company. Wouldn’t you like . . .
something more essential before tea?”

“Get along with you!”

Porfiry Petrovitch went out to order tea.

Raskolnikov’s thoughts were in a whirl. He was in terrible exasperation.

 “The worst of it is they don’t disguise it; they don’t care to stand on ceremony!
And how if you didn’t know me at all, did you come to talk to Nikodim Fomitch
about me? So they don’t care to hide that they are tracking me like a pack of dogs.
They simply spit in my face.” He was shaking with rage. “Come, strike me openly,
don’t play with me like a cat with a mouse. It’s hardly civil, Porfiry Petrovitch, but
perhaps I won’t allow it! I shall get up and throw the whole truth in your ugly
faces, and you’ll see how I despise you.” He could hardly breathe. “And what if it’s
only my fancy? What if I am mistaken, and through inexperience I get angry and
don’t keep up my nasty part? Perhaps it’s all unintentional. All their phrases are
the usual ones, but there is something about them. . . . It all might be said, but
there is something. Why did he say bluntly, ‘With her’? Why did Zametov add that
I spoke artfully? Why do they speak in that tone? Yes, the tone . . . . Razumihin is
sitting here, why does he see nothing? That innocent blockhead never does see
anything! Feverish again! Did Porfiry wink at me just now? Of course it’s
nonsense! What could he wink for? Are they trying to upset my nerves or are they
teasing me? Either it’s ill fancy or they know! Even Zametov is rude. . . . Is
Zametov rude? Zametov has changed his mind. I foresaw he would change his
mind! He is at home here, while it’s my first visit. Porfiry does not consider him a
visitor; sits with his back to him. They’re as thick as thieves, no doubt, over me!
Not a doubt they were talking about me before we came. Do they know about the
flat? If only they’d make haste! When I said that I ran away to take a flat he let it
pass. . . . I put that in cleverly about a flat, it may be of use afterwards. . . .
Delirious, indeed . . . ha-ha-ha! He knows all about last night! He didn’t know of
my mother’s arrival! The hag had written the date on in pencil! You are wrong,
you won’t catch me! There are no facts . . . it’s all supposition! You produce facts!
The flat even isn’t a fact but delirium. I know what to say to them. . . . Do they
know about the flat? I won’t go without finding out. What did I come for? But my
being angry now, maybe is a fact! Fool, how irritable I am! Perhaps that’s right; to
play the invalid. . . . He is feeling me. He will try to catch me. Why did I come?”

All this flashed like lightning through his mind.

Porfiry Petrovitch returned quickly. He became suddenly more jovial.

“Your party yesterday, brother, has left my head rather. . . . And I am out of
sorts altogether,” he began in quite a different tone, laughing to Razumihin.
“Was it interesting? I left you yesterday at the most interesting point. Who got
the best of it?”

“Oh, no one, of course. They got on to everlasting questions, floated off into
space.”
“Only fancy, Rodya, what we got on to yesterday. Whether there is such a
thing as crime. I told you that we talked our heads off.”

“What is there strange? It’s an everyday social question,” Raskolnikov

answered casually.

“The question wasn’t put quite like that,” observed Porfiry.

“Not quite, that’s true,” Razumihin agreed at once, getting warm and hurried
as usual. “Listen, Rodion, and tell us your opinion, I want to hear it. I was fighting
tooth and nail with them and wanted you to help me. I told them you were
coming. . . . It began with the socialist doctrine. You know their doctrine; crime is
a protest against the abnormality of the social organisation and nothing more, and
nothing more; no other causes admitted! …”
“You are wrong there,” cried Porfiry Petrovitch; he was noticeably animated
and kept laughing as he looked at Razumihin, which made him more excited than
ever.

“Nothing is admitted,” Razumihin interrupted with heat.

“I am not wrong. I’ll show you their pamphlets. Everything with them is ‘the
influence of environment,’ and nothing else. Their favourite phrase! From which it
follows that, if society is normally organised, all crime will cease at once, since
there will be nothing to protest against and all men will become righteous in one
instant. Human nature is not taken into account, it is excluded, it’s not supposed
to exist! They don’t recognise that humanity, developing by a historical living
process, will become at last a normal society, but they believe that a social system
that has come out of some mathematical brain is going to organise all humanity at
once and make it just and sinless in an instant, quicker than any living process!
That’s why they instinctively dislike history, ‘nothing but ugliness and stupidity in
it,’ and they explain it all as stupidity! That’s why they so dislike the living process
of life; they don’t want a living soul! The living soul demands life, the soul won’t
obey the rules of mechanics, the soul is an object of suspicion, the soul is
retrograde! But what they want though it smells of death and can be made of
India-rubber, at least is not alive, has no will, is servile and won’t revolt! And it
comes in the end to their reducing everything to the building of walls and the
planning of rooms and passages in a phalanstery! The phalanstery is ready,
indeed, but your human nature is not ready for the phalanstery — it wants life, it
hasn’t completed its vital process, it’s too soon for the graveyard! You can’t skip
over nature by logic. Logic presupposes three possibilities, but there are millions!
Cut away a million, and reduce it all to the question of comfort! That’s the easiest
solution of the problem! It’s seductively clear and you musn’t think about it. That’s
the great thing, you mustn’t think! The whole secret of life in two pages of print!”

“Now he is off, beating the drum! Catch hold of him, do!” laughed Porfiry.
“Can you imagine,” he turned to Raskolnikov, “six people holding forth like that
last night, in one room, with punch as a preliminary! No, brother, you are wrong,
environment accounts for a great deal in crime; I can assure you of that.”

“Oh, I know it does, but just tell me: a man of forty violates a child of ten; was
it environment drove him to it?”

“Well, strictly speaking, it did,” Porfiry observed with noteworthy gravity; “a

crime of that nature may be very well ascribed to the influence of environment.”

Razumihin was almost in a frenzy. “Oh, if you like,” he roared. “I’ll prove to
you that your white eyelashes may very well be ascribed to the Church of Ivan the
Great’s being two hundred and fifty feet high, and I will prove it clearly, exactly,
progressively, and even with a Liberal tendency! I undertake to! Will you bet on
it?”
“Done! Let’s hear, please, how he will prove it!”

“He is always humbugging, confound him,” cried Razumihin, jumping up and

gesticulating. “What’s the use of talking to you? He does all that on purpose; you
don’t know him, Rodion! He took their side yesterday, simply to make fools of
them. And the things he said yesterday! And they were delighted! He can keep it
up for a fortnight together. Last year he persuaded us that he was going into a
monastery: he stuck to it for two months. Not long ago he took it into his head to
declare he was going to get married, that he had everything ready for the wedding.
He ordered new clothes indeed. We all began to congratulate him. There was no
bride, nothing, all pure fantasy!”

“Ah, you are wrong! I got the clothes before. It was the new clothes in fact that
made me think of taking you in.”
 “Are you such a good dissembler?” Raskolnikov asked carelessly.

“You wouldn’t have supposed it, eh? Wait a bit, I shall take you in, too. Ha-ha-
ha! No, I’ll tell you the truth. All these questions about crime, environment,
children, recall to my mind an article of yours which interested me at the time. ‘On
Crime’ . . . or something of the sort, I forget the title, I read it with pleasure two
months ago in the Periodical Review.”

“My article? In the Periodical Review?” Raskolnikov asked in astonishment.

“I certainly did write an article upon a book six months ago when I left the
university, but I sent it to the Weekly Review.”

“But it came out in the Periodical.”

“And the Weekly Review ceased to exist, so that’s why it wasn’t printed at the
time.”

“That’s true; but when it ceased to exist, the Weekly Review was
amalgamated with the Periodical, and so your article appeared two months ago in
the latter. Didn’t you know?”
Raskolnikov had not known.

“Why, you might get some money out of them for the article! What a strange
person you are! You lead such a solitary life that you know nothing of matters that
concern you directly. It’s a fact, I assure you.”

“Bravo, Rodya! I knew nothing about it either!” cried Razumihin. “I’ll run to-
day to the reading-room and ask for the number. Two months ago? What was the
date? It doesn’t matter though, I will find it. Think of not telling us!”
“How did you find out that the article was mine? It’s only signed with an
initial.”

“I only learnt it by chance, the other day. Through the editor; I know him. . . .
I was very much interested.”
“I analysed, if I remember, the psychology of a criminal before and after the
crime.”

“Yes, and you maintained that the perpetration of a crime is always

accompanied by illness. Very, very original, but . . . it was not that part of your
article that interested me so much, but an idea at the end of the article which I
regret to say you merely suggested without working it out clearly. There is, if you
recollect, a suggestion that there are certain persons who can . . . that is, not
precisely are able to, but have a perfect right to commit breaches of morality and
crimes, and that the law is not for them.”

Raskolnikov smiled at the exaggerated and intentional distortion of his idea.

“What? What do you mean? A right to crime? But not because of the influence
of environment?” Razumihin inquired with some alarm even.

“No, not exactly because of it,” answered Porfiry. “In his article all men are
divided into ‘ordinary’ and ‘extraordinary.’ Ordinary men have to live in
submission, have no right to transgress the law, because, don’t you see, they are
ordinary. But extraordinary men have a right to commit any crime and to
transgress the law in any way, just because they are extraordinary. That was your
idea, if I am not mistaken?”
“What do you mean? That can’t be right?” Razumihin muttered in
bewilderment.

Raskolnikov smiled again. He saw the point at once, and knew where they
wanted to drive him. He decided to take up the challenge.
“That wasn’t quite my contention,” he began simply and modestly. “Yet I
admit that you have stated it almost correctly; perhaps, if you like, perfectly so.”
(It almost gave him pleasure to admit this.) “The only difference is that I don’t
contend that extraordinary people are always bound to commit breaches of
morals, as you call it. In fact, I doubt whether such an argument could be
published. I simply hinted that an ‘extraordinary’ man has the right . . . that is not
an official right, but an inner right to decide in his own conscience to overstep . . .
certain obstacles, and only in case it is essential for the practical fulfilment of his
idea (sometimes, perhaps, of benefit to the whole of humanity). You say that my
article isn’t definite; I am ready to make it as clear as I can. Perhaps I am right in
thinking you want me to; very well. I maintain that if the discoveries of Kepler and
Newton could not have been made known except by sacrificing the lives of one, a
dozen, a hundred, or more men, Newton would have had the right, would indeed
have been in duty bound . . . to eliminate the dozen or the hundred men for the
sake of making his discoveries known to the whole of humanity. But it does not
follow from that that Newton had a right to murder people right and left and to
steal every day in the market. Then, I remember, I maintain in my article that all
. . . well, legislators and leaders of men, such as Lycurgus, Solon, Mahomet,
Napoleon, and so on, were all without exception criminals, from the very fact that,
making a new law, they transgressed the ancient one, handed down from their
ancestors and held sacred by the people, and they did not stop short at bloodshed
either, if that bloodshed — often of innocent persons fighting bravely in defence of
ancient law — were of use to their cause. It’s remarkable, in fact, that the majority,
indeed, of these benefactors and leaders of humanity were guilty of terrible
carnage. In short, I maintain that all great men or even men a little out of the
common, that is to say capable of giving some new word, must from their very
nature be criminals — more or less, of course. Otherwise it’s hard for them to get
out of the common rut; and to remain in the common rut is what they can’t submit
to, from their very nature again, and to my mind they ought not, indeed, to submit
to it. You see that there is nothing particularly new in all that. The same thing has
been printed and read a thousand times before. As for my division of people into
ordinary and extraordinary, I acknowledge that it’s somewhat arbitrary, but I
don’t insist upon exact numbers. I only believe in my leading idea that men are in
general divided by a law of nature into two categories, inferior (ordinary), that is,
so to say, material that serves only to reproduce its kind, and men who have the
gift or the talent to utter a new word. There are, of course, innumerable sub-
divisions, but the distinguishing features of both categories are fairly well marked.
The first category, generally speaking, are men conservative in temperament and
law-abiding; they live under control and love to be controlled. To my thinking it is
their duty to be controlled, because that’s their vocation, and there is nothing
humiliating in it for them. The second category all transgress the law; they are
destroyers or disposed to destruction according to their capacities. The crimes of
these men are of course relative and varied; for the most part they seek in very
varied ways the destruction of the present for the sake of the better. But if such a
one is forced for the sake of his idea to step over a corpse or wade through blood,
he can, I maintain, find within himself, in his conscience, a sanction for wading
through blood — that depends on the idea and its dimensions, note that. It’s only
in that sense I speak of their right to crime in my article (you remember it began
with the legal question). There’s no need for such anxiety, however; the masses
will scarcely ever admit this right, they punish them or hang them (more or less),
and in doing so fulfil quite justly their conservative vocation. But the same masses
set these criminals on a pedestal in the next generation and worship them (more
or less). The first category is always the man of the present, the second the man of
the future. The first preserve the world and people it, the second move the world
and lead it to its goal. Each class has an equal right to exist. In fact, all have equal
rights with me — and vive la guerre éternelle — till the New Jerusalem, of
course!”

“Then you believe in the New Jerusalem, do you?”

“I do,” Raskolnikov answered firmly; as he said these words and during the
whole preceding tirade he kept his eyes on one spot on the carpet.

“And . . . and do you believe in God? Excuse my curiosity.”

“I do,” repeated Raskolnikov, raising his eyes to Porfiry.

“And . . . do you believe in Lazarus’ rising from the dead?”

“I . . . I do. Why do you ask all this?”

“You believe it literally?”

“Literally.”

“You don’t say so. . . . I asked from curiosity. Excuse me. But let us go back to
the question; they are not always executed. Some, on the contrary …”

“Triumph in their lifetime? Oh, yes, some attain their ends in this life, and
then …”

“They begin executing other people?”

“If it’s necessary; indeed, for the most part they do. Your remark is very
witty.”
“Thank you. But tell me this: how do you distinguish those extraordinary
people from the ordinary ones? Are there signs at their birth? I feel there ought to
be more exactitude, more external definition. Excuse the natural anxiety of a
practical law-abiding citizen, but couldn’t they adopt a special uniform, for
instance, couldn’t they wear something, be branded in some way? For you know if
confusion arises and a member of one category imagines that he belongs to the
other, begins to ‘eliminate obstacles’ as you so happily expressed it, then …”
“Oh, that very often happens! That remark is wittier than the other.”
 “Thank you.”

“No reason to; but take note that the mistake can only arise in the first
category, that is among the ordinary people (as I perhaps unfortunately called
them). In spite of their predisposition to obedience very many of them, through a
playfulness of nature, sometimes vouchsafed even to the cow, like to imagine
themselves advanced people, ‘destroyers,’ and to push themselves into the ‘new
movement,’ and this quite sincerely. Meanwhile the really new people are very
often unobserved by them, or even despised as reactionaries of grovelling
tendencies. But I don’t think there is any considerable danger here, and you really
need not be uneasy for they never go very far. Of course, they might have a
thrashing sometimes for letting their fancy run away with them and to teach them
their place, but no more; in fact, even this isn’t necessary as they castigate
themselves, for they are very conscientious: some perform this service for one
another and others chastise themselves with their own hands. . . . They will
impose various public acts of penitence upon themselves with a beautiful and
edifying effect; in fact you’ve nothing to be uneasy about. . . . It’s a law of nature.”

“Well, you have certainly set my mind more at rest on that score; but there’s
another thing worries me. Tell me, please, are there many people who have the
right to kill others, these extraordinary people? I am ready to bow down to them,
of course, but you must admit it’s alarming if there are a great many of them, eh?”

“Oh, you needn’t worry about that either,” Raskolnikov went on in the same
tone. “People with new ideas, people with the faintest capacity for saying
something new, are extremely few in number, extraordinarily so in fact. One thing
only is clear, that the appearance of all these grades and sub-divisions of men
must follow with unfailing regularity some law of nature. That law, of course, is
unknown at present, but I am convinced that it exists, and one day may become
known. The vast mass of mankind is mere material, and only exists in order by
some great effort, by some mysterious process, by means of some crossing of races
and stocks, to bring into the world at last perhaps one man out of a thousand with
a spark of independence. One in ten thousand perhaps — I speak roughly,
approximately — is born with some independence, and with still greater
independence one in a hundred thousand. The man of genius is one of millions,
and the great geniuses, the crown of humanity, appear on earth perhaps one in
many thousand millions. In fact I have not peeped into the retort in which all this
takes place. But there certainly is and must be a definite law, it cannot be a matter
of chance.”

“Why, are you both joking?” Razumihin cried at last. “There you sit, making
fun of one another. Are you serious, Rodya?”

Raskolnikov raised his pale and almost mournful face and made no reply.
And the unconcealed, persistent, nervous, and discourteous sarcasm of Porfiry
seemed strange to Razumihin beside that quiet and mournful face.

“Well, brother, if you are really serious . . . You are right, of course, in saying
that it’s not new, that it’s like what we’ve read and heard a thousand times already;
but what is really original in all this, and is exclusively your own, to my horror, is
that you sanction bloodshed in the name of conscience, and, excuse my saying so,
with such fanaticism. . . . That, I take it, is the point of your article. But that
sanction of bloodshed by conscience is to my mind . . . more terrible than the
official, legal sanction of bloodshed . . . .”

“You are quite right, it is more terrible,” Porfiry agreed.

“Yes, you must have exaggerated! There is some mistake, I shall read it. You
can’t think that! I shall read it.”

“All that is not in the article, there’s only a hint of it,” said Raskolnikov.

“Yes, yes.” Porfiry couldn’t sit still. “Your attitude to crime is pretty clear to
me now, but . . . excuse me for my impertinence (I am really ashamed to be
worrying you like this), you see, you’ve removed my anxiety as to the two grades
getting mixed, but . . . there are various practical possibilities that make me
uneasy! What if some man or youth imagines that he is a Lycurgus or Mahomet —
a future one of course — and suppose he begins to remove all obstacles. . . . He has
some great enterprise before him and needs money for it . . . and tries to get it . . .
do you see?”

Zametov gave a sudden guffaw in his corner. Raskolnikov did not even raise
his eyes to him.
“I must admit,” he went on calmly, “that such cases certainly must arise. The
vain and foolish are particularly apt to fall into that snare; young people
especially.”

“Yes, you see. Well then?”

 “What then?” Raskolnikov smiled in reply; “that’s not my fault. So it is and so
it always will be. He said just now (he nodded at Razumihin) that I sanction
bloodshed. Society is too well protected by prisons, banishment, criminal
investigators, penal servitude. There’s no need to be uneasy. You have but to catch
the thief.”

“And what if we do catch him?”

“Then he gets what he deserves.”

“You are certainly logical. But what of his conscience?”

“Why do you care about that?”

“Simply from humanity.”

“If he has a conscience he will suffer for his mistake. That will be his
punishment — as well as the prison.”

“But the real geniuses,” asked Razumihin frowning, “those who have the right
to murder? Oughtn’t they to suffer at all even for the blood they’ve shed?”

“Why the word ought? It’s not a matter of permission or prohibition. He will
suffer if he is sorry for his victim. Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a
large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great
sadness on earth,” he added dreamily, not in the tone of the conversation.

He raised his eyes, looked earnestly at them all, smiled, and took his cap. He
was too quiet by comparison with his manner at his entrance, and he felt this.
Everyone got up.
“Well, you may abuse me, be angry with me if you like,” Porfiry Petrovitch
began again, “but I can’t resist. Allow me one little question (I know I am
troubling you). There is just one little notion I want to express, simply that I may
not forget it.”
“Very good, tell me your little notion,” Raskolnikov stood waiting, pale and
grave before him.

“Well, you see . . . I really don’t know how to express it properly. . . . It’s a
playful, psychological idea. . . . When you were writing your article, surely you
couldn’t have helped, he-he! fancying yourself . . . just a little, an ‘extraordinary’
man, uttering a new word in your sense. . . . That’s so, isn’t it?”
 “Quite possibly,” Raskolnikov answered contemptuously.

Razumihin made a movement.

“And, if so, could you bring yourself in case of worldly difficulties and
hardship or for some service to humanity — to overstep obstacles? . . . For
instance, to rob and murder?”
And again he winked with his left eye, and laughed noiselessly just as before.

“If I did I certainly should not tell you,” Raskolnikov answered with defiant
and haughty contempt.

“No, I was only interested on account of your article, from a literary point of
view …”

“Foo! how obvious and insolent that is!” Raskolnikov thought with repulsion.

“Allow me to observe,” he answered dryly, “that I don’t consider myself a

Mahomet or a Napoleon, nor any personage of that kind, and not being one of
them I cannot tell you how I should act.”

“Oh, come, don’t we all think ourselves Napoleons now in Russia?” Porfiry
Petrovitch said with alarming familiarity.
Something peculiar betrayed itself in the very intonation of his voice.

“Perhaps it was one of these future Napoleons who did for Alyona Ivanovna
last week?” Zametov blurted out from the corner.
Raskolnikov did not speak, but looked firmly and intently at Porfiry.
Razumihin was scowling gloomily. He seemed before this to be noticing
something. He looked angrily around. There was a minute of gloomy silence.
Raskolnikov turned to go.
“Are you going already?” Porfiry said amiably, holding out his hand with
excessive politeness. “Very, very glad of your acquaintance. As for your request,
have no uneasiness, write just as I told you, or, better still, come to me there
yourself in a day or two . . . to-morrow, indeed. I shall be there at eleven o’clock for
certain. We’ll arrange it all; we’ll have a talk. As one of the last to be there, you
might perhaps be able to tell us something,” he added with a most good-natured
expression.

“You want to cross-examine me officially in due form?” Raskolnikov asked

sharply.

“Oh, why? That’s not necessary for the present. You misunderstand me. I lose
no opportunity, you see, and . . . I’ve talked with all who had pledges. . . . I
obtained evidence from some of them, and you are the last. . . . Yes, by the way,”
he cried, seemingly suddenly delighted, “I just remember, what was I thinking of?”
he turned to Razumihin, “you were talking my ears off about that Nikolay . . . of
course, I know, I know very well,” he turned to Raskolnikov, “that the fellow is
innocent, but what is one to do? We had to trouble Dmitri too. . . . This is the
point, this is all: when you went up the stairs it was past seven, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” answered Raskolnikov, with an unpleasant sensation at the very

moment he spoke that he need not have said it.

“Then when you went upstairs between seven and eight, didn’t you see in a
flat that stood open on a second storey, do you remember? two workmen or at
least one of them? They were painting there, didn’t you notice them? It’s very, very
important for them.”

“Painters? No, I didn’t see them,” Raskolnikov answered slowly, as though

ransacking his memory, while at the same instant he was racking every nerve,
almost swooning with anxiety to conjecture as quickly as possible where the trap
lay and not to overlook anything. “No, I didn’t see them, and I don’t think I
noticed a flat like that open. . . . But on the fourth storey” (he had mastered the
trap now and was triumphant) “I remember now that someone was moving out of
the flat opposite Alyona Ivanovna’s. . . . I remember . . . I remember it clearly.
Some porters were carrying out a sofa and they squeezed me against the wall. But
painters . . . no, I don’t remember that there were any painters, and I don’t think
that there was a flat open anywhere, no, there wasn’t.”

“What do you mean?” Razumihin shouted suddenly, as though he had

reflected and realised. “Why, it was on the day of the murder the painters were at
work, and he was there three days before? What are you asking?”

“Foo! I have muddled it!” Porfiry slapped himself on the forehead. “Deuce
take it! This business is turning my brain!” he addressed Raskolnikov somewhat
apologetically. “It would be such a great thing for us to find out whether anyone
had seen them between seven and eight at the flat, so I fancied you could perhaps
have told us something. . . . I quite muddled it.”
 “Then you should be more careful,” Razumihin observed grimly.

The last words were uttered in the passage. Porfiry Petrovitch saw them to the
door with excessive politeness.

They went out into the street gloomy and sullen, and for some steps they did
not say a word. Raskolnikov drew a deep breath.
 CHAPTER VI

“I don’t believe it, I can’t believe it!” repeated Razumihin, trying in perplexity to
refute Raskolnikov’s arguments.
They were by now approaching Bakaleyev’s lodgings, where Pulcheria
Alexandrovna and Dounia had been expecting them a long while. Razumihin kept
stopping on the way in the heat of discussion, confused and excited by the very
fact that they were for the first time speaking openly about it.

“Don’t believe it, then!” answered Raskolnikov, with a cold, careless smile.
“You were noticing nothing as usual, but I was weighing every word.”

“You are suspicious. That is why you weighed their words . . . h’m . . .
certainly, I agree, Porfiry’s tone was rather strange, and still more that wretch
Zametov! . . . You are right, there was something about him — but why? Why?”

“He has changed his mind since last night.”

“Quite the contrary! If they had that brainless idea, they would do their
utmost to hide it, and conceal their cards, so as to catch you afterwards. . . . But it
was all impudent and careless.”

“If they had had facts — I mean, real facts — or at least grounds for suspicion,
then they would certainly have tried to hide their game, in the hope of getting
more (they would have made a search long ago besides). But they have no facts,
not one. It is all mirage — all ambiguous. Simply a floating idea. So they try to
throw me out by impudence. And perhaps, he was irritated at having no facts, and
blurted it out in his vexation — or perhaps he has some plan . . . he seems an
intelligent man. Perhaps he wanted to frighten me by pretending to know. They
have a psychology of their own, brother. But it is loathsome explaining it all.
Stop!”

“And it’s insulting, insulting! I understand you. But . . . since we have spoken
openly now (and it is an excellent thing that we have at last — I am glad) I will own
now frankly that I noticed it in them long ago, this idea. Of course the merest hint
only — an insinuation — but why an insinuation even? How dare they? What
foundation have they? If only you knew how furious I have been. Think only!
Simply because a poor student, unhinged by poverty and hypochondria, on the eve
of a severe delirious illness (note that), suspicious, vain, proud, who has not seen a
soul to speak to for six months, in rags and in boots without soles, has to face
some wretched policemen and put up with their insolence; and the unexpected
debt thrust under his nose, the I.O.U. presented by Tchebarov, the new paint,
thirty degrees Reaumur and a stifling atmosphere, a crowd of people, the talk
about the murder of a person where he had been just before, and all that on an
empty stomach — he might well have a fainting fit! And that, that is what they
found it all on! Damn them! I understand how annoying it is, but in your place,
Rodya, I would laugh at them, or better still, spit in their ugly faces, and spit a
dozen times in all directions. I’d hit out in all directions, neatly too, and so I’d put
an end to it. Damn them! Don’t be downhearted. It’s a shame!”

“He really has put it well, though,” Raskolnikov thought.

“Damn them? But the cross-examination again, to-morrow?” he said with

bitterness. “Must I really enter into explanations with them? I feel vexed as it is,
that I condescended to speak to Zametov yesterday in the restaurant . . . .”
“Damn it! I will go myself to Porfiry. I will squeeze it out of him, as one of the
family: he must let me know the ins and outs of it all! And as for Zametov …”

“At last he sees through him!” thought Raskolnikov.

“Stay!” cried Razumihin, seizing him by the shoulder again. “Stay! you were
wrong. I have thought it out. You are wrong! How was that a trap? You say that
the question about the workmen was a trap. But if you had done that, could you
have said you had seen them painting the flat . . . and the workmen? On the
contrary, you would have seen nothing, even if you had seen it. Who would own it
against himself?”

“If I had done that thing, I should certainly have said that I had seen the
workmen and the flat,” Raskolnikov answered, with reluctance and obvious
disgust.

“But why speak against yourself?”

“Because only peasants, or the most inexperienced novices deny everything
flatly at examinations. If a man is ever so little developed and experienced, he will
certainly try to admit all the external facts that can’t be avoided, but will seek
other explanations of them, will introduce some special, unexpected turn, that will
give them another significance and put them in another light. Porfiry might well
reckon that I should be sure to answer so, and say I had seen them to give an air of
truth, and then make some explanation.”

“But he would have told you at once that the workmen could not have been
there two days before, and that therefore you must have been there on the day of
the murder at eight o’clock. And so he would have caught you over a detail.”

“Yes, that is what he was reckoning on, that I should not have time to reflect,
and should be in a hurry to make the most likely answer, and so would forget that
the workmen could not have been there two days before.”
“But how could you forget it?”

“Nothing easier. It is in just such stupid things clever people are most easily
caught. The more cunning a man is, the less he suspects that he will be caught in a
simple thing. The more cunning a man is, the simpler the trap he must be caught
in. Porfiry is not such a fool as you think . . . .”

“He is a knave then, if that is so!”

Raskolnikov could not help laughing. But at the very moment, he was struck
by the strangeness of his own frankness, and the eagerness with which he had
made this explanation, though he had kept up all the preceding conversation with
gloomy repulsion, obviously with a motive, from necessity.

“I am getting a relish for certain aspects!” he thought to himself. But almost at

the same instant he became suddenly uneasy, as though an unexpected and
alarming idea had occurred to him. His uneasiness kept on increasing. They had
just reached the entrance to Bakaleyev’s.

“Go in alone!” said Raskolnikov suddenly. “I will be back directly.”

“Where are you going? Why, we are just here.”
“I can’t help it. . . . I will come in half an hour. Tell them.”

“Say what you like, I will come with you.”

“You, too, want to torture me!” he screamed, with such bitter irritation, such
despair in his eyes that Razumihin’s hands dropped. He stood for some time on
the steps, looking gloomily at Raskolnikov striding rapidly away in the direction of
his lodging. At last, gritting his teeth and clenching his fist, he swore he would
squeeze Porfiry like a lemon that very day, and went up the stairs to reassure
Pulcheria Alexandrovna, who was by now alarmed at their long absence.
When Raskolnikov got home, his hair was soaked with sweat and he was
breathing heavily. He went rapidly up the stairs, walked into his unlocked room
and at once fastened the latch. Then in senseless terror he rushed to the corner, to
that hole under the paper where he had put the things; put his hand in, and for
some minutes felt carefully in the hole, in every crack and fold of the paper.
Finding nothing, he got up and drew a deep breath. As he was reaching the steps
of Bakaleyev’s, he suddenly fancied that something, a chain, a stud or even a bit of
paper in which they had been wrapped with the old woman’s handwriting on it,
might somehow have slipped out and been lost in some crack, and then might
suddenly turn up as unexpected, conclusive evidence against him.
He stood as though lost in thought, and a strange, humiliated, half senseless
smile strayed on his lips. He took his cap at last and went quietly out of the room.
His ideas were all tangled. He went dreamily through the gateway.

“Here he is himself,” shouted a loud voice.

He raised his head.
The porter was standing at the door of his little room and was pointing him
out to a short man who looked like an artisan, wearing a long coat and a waistcoat,
and looking at a distance remarkably like a woman. He stooped, and his head in a
greasy cap hung forward. From his wrinkled flabby face he looked over fifty; his
little eyes were lost in fat and they looked out grimly, sternly and discontentedly.

“What is it?” Raskolnikov asked, going up to the porter.

The man stole a look at him from under his brows and he looked at him
attentively, deliberately; then he turned slowly and went out of the gate into the
street without saying a word.
“What is it?” cried Raskolnikov.

“Why, he there was asking whether a student lived here, mentioned your
name and whom you lodged with. I saw you coming and pointed you out and he
went away. It’s funny.”
The porter too seemed rather puzzled, but not much so, and after wondering
for a moment he turned and went back to his room.
Raskolnikov ran after the stranger, and at once caught sight of him walking
along the other side of the street with the same even, deliberate step with his eyes
fixed on the ground, as though in meditation. He soon overtook him, but for some
time walked behind him. At last, moving on to a level with him, he looked at his
face. The man noticed him at once, looked at him quickly, but dropped his eyes
again; and so they walked for a minute side by side without uttering a word.
“You were inquiring for me . . . of the porter?” Raskolnikov said at last, but in
a curiously quiet voice.
The man made no answer; he didn’t even look at him. Again they were both
silent.
“Why do you . . . come and ask for me . . . and say nothing. . . . What’s the
meaning of it?”
Raskolnikov’s voice broke and he seemed unable to articulate the words
clearly.

The man raised his eyes this time and turned a gloomy sinister look at
Raskolnikov.

“Murderer!” he said suddenly in a quiet but clear and distinct voice.

Raskolnikov went on walking beside him. His legs felt suddenly weak, a cold
shiver ran down his spine, and his heart seemed to stand still for a moment, then
suddenly began throbbing as though it were set free. So they walked for about a
hundred paces, side by side in silence.
The man did not look at him.
“What do you mean . . . what is. . . . Who is a murderer?” muttered
Raskolnikov hardly audibly.
“You are a murderer,” the man answered still more articulately and
emphatically, with a smile of triumphant hatred, and again he looked straight into
Raskolnikov’s pale face and stricken eyes.

They had just reached the cross-roads. The man turned to the left without
looking behind him. Raskolnikov remained standing, gazing after him. He saw
him turn round fifty paces away and look back at him still standing there.
Raskolnikov could not see clearly, but he fancied that he was again smiling the
same smile of cold hatred and triumph.
 With slow faltering steps, with shaking knees, Raskolnikov made his way back
to his little garret, feeling chilled all over. He took off his cap and put it on the
table, and for ten minutes he stood without moving. Then he sank exhausted on
the sofa and with a weak moan of pain he stretched himself on it. So he lay for half
an hour.
He thought of nothing. Some thoughts or fragments of thoughts, some images
without order or coherence floated before his mind — faces of people he had seen
in his childhood or met somewhere once, whom he would never have recalled, the
belfry of the church at V., the billiard table in a restaurant and some officers
playing billiards, the smell of cigars in some underground tobacco shop, a tavern
room, a back staircase quite dark, all sloppy with dirty water and strewn with egg-
shells, and the Sunday bells floating in from somewhere. . . . The images followed
one another, whirling like a hurricane. Some of them he liked and tried to clutch
at, but they faded and all the while there was an oppression within him, but it was
not overwhelming, sometimes it was even pleasant. . . . The slight shivering still
persisted, but that too was an almost pleasant sensation.

He heard the hurried footsteps of Razumihin; he closed his eyes and

pretended to be asleep. Razumihin opened the door and stood for some time in
the doorway as though hesitating, then he stepped softly into the room and went
cautiously to the sofa. Raskolnikov heard Nastasya’s whisper:

“Don’t disturb him! Let him sleep. He can have his dinner later.”

“Quite so,” answered Razumihin. Both withdrew carefully and closed the
door. Another half-hour passed. Raskolnikov opened his eyes, turned on his back
again, clasping his hands behind his head.

“Who is he? Who is that man who sprang out of the earth? Where was he,
what did he see? He has seen it all, that’s clear. Where was he then? And from
where did he see? Why has he only now sprung out of the earth? And how could
he see? Is it possible? Hm …” continued Raskolnikov, turning cold and shivering,
“and the jewel case Nikolay found behind the door — was that possible? A clue?
You miss an infinitesimal line and you can build it into a pyramid of evidence! A
fly flew by and saw it! Is it possible?” He felt with sudden loathing how weak, how
physically weak he had become. “I ought to have known it,” he thought with a
bitter smile. “And how dared I, knowing myself, knowing how I should be, take up
an axe and shed blood! I ought to have known beforehand. . . . Ah, but I did
know!” he whispered in despair. At times he came to a standstill at some thought.
“No, those men are not made so. The real Master to whom all is permitted
storms Toulon, makes a massacre in Paris, forgets an army in Egypt, wastes half a
million men in the Moscow expedition and gets off with a jest at Vilna. And altars
are set up to him after his death, and so all is permitted. No, such people, it seems,
are not of flesh but of bronze!”

One sudden irrelevant idea almost made him laugh. Napoleon, the pyramids,
Waterloo, and a wretched skinny old woman, a pawnbroker with a red trunk
under her bed — it’s a nice hash for Porfiry Petrovitch to digest! How can they
digest it! It’s too inartistic. “A Napoleon creep under an old woman’s bed! Ugh,
how loathsome!”

At moments he felt he was raving. He sank into a state of feverish excitement.

“The old woman is of no consequence,” he thought, hotly and incoherently. “The
old woman was a mistake perhaps, but she is not what matters! The old woman
was only an illness. . . . I was in a hurry to overstep. . . . I didn’t kill a human being,
but a principle! I killed the principle, but I didn’t overstep, I stopped on this side.
. . . I was only capable of killing. And it seems I wasn’t even capable of that . . .
Principle? Why was that fool Razumihin abusing the socialists? They are
industrious, commercial people; ‘the happiness of all’ is their case. No, life is only
given to me once and I shall never have it again; I don’t want to wait for ‘the
happiness of all.’ I want to live myself, or else better not live at all. I simply
couldn’t pass by my mother starving, keeping my rouble in my pocket while I
waited for the ‘happiness of all.’ I am putting my little brick into the happiness of
all and so my heart is at peace. Ha-ha! Why have you let me slip? I only live once, I
too want. . . . Ech, I am an æsthetic louse and nothing more,” he added suddenly,
laughing like a madman. “Yes, I am certainly a louse,” he went on, clutching at the
idea, gloating over it and playing with it with vindictive pleasure. “In the first
place, because I can reason that I am one, and secondly, because for a month past
I have been troubling benevolent Providence, calling it to witness that not for my
own fleshly lusts did I undertake it, but with a grand and noble object — ha-ha!
Thirdly, because I aimed at carrying it out as justly as possible, weighing,
measuring and calculating. Of all the lice I picked out the most useless one and
proposed to take from her only as much as I needed for the first step, no more nor
less (so the rest would have gone to a monastery, according to her will, ha-ha!).
And what shows that I am utterly a louse,” he added, grinding his teeth, “is that I
am perhaps viler and more loathsome than the louse I killed, and I felt beforehand
that I should tell myself so after killing her. Can anything be compared with the
horror of that? The vulgarity! The abjectness! I understand the ‘prophet’ with his
sabre, on his steed: Allah commands and ‘trembling’ creation must obey! The
‘prophet’ is right, he is right when he sets a battery across the street and blows up
the innocent and the guilty without deigning to explain! It’s for you to obey,
trembling creation, and not to have desires, for that’s not for you! . . . I shall never,
never forgive the old woman!”

His hair was soaked with sweat, his quivering lips were parched, his eyes were
fixed on the ceiling.
“Mother, sister — how I loved them! Why do I hate them now? Yes, I hate
them, I feel a physical hatred for them, I can’t bear them near me. . . . I went up to
my mother and kissed her, I remember. . . . To embrace her and think if she only
knew . . . shall I tell her then? That’s just what I might do. . . . She must be the
same as I am,” he added, straining himself to think, as it were struggling with
delirium. “Ah, how I hate the old woman now! I feel I should kill her again if she
came to life! Poor Lizaveta! Why did she come in? . . . It’s strange though, why is it
I scarcely ever think of her, as though I hadn’t killed her? Lizaveta! Sonia! Poor
gentle things, with gentle eyes. . . . Dear women! Why don’t they weep? Why don’t
they moan? They give up everything . . . their eyes are soft and gentle. . . . Sonia,
Sonia! Gentle Sonia!”

He lost consciousness; it seemed strange to him that he didn’t remember how

he got into the street. It was late evening. The twilight had fallen and the full moon
was shining more and more brightly; but there was a peculiar breathlessness in
the air. There were crowds of people in the street; workmen and business people
were making their way home; other people had come out for a walk; there was a
smell of mortar, dust and stagnant water. Raskolnikov walked along, mournful
and anxious; he was distinctly aware of having come out with a purpose, of having
to do something in a hurry, but what it was he had forgotten. Suddenly he stood
still and saw a man standing on the other side of the street, beckoning to him. He
crossed over to him, but at once the man turned and walked away with his head
hanging, as though he had made no sign to him. “Stay, did he really beckon?”
Raskolnikov wondered, but he tried to overtake him. When he was within ten
paces he recognised him and was frightened; it was the same man with stooping
shoulders in the long coat. Raskolnikov followed him at a distance; his heart was
beating; they went down a turning; the man still did not look round. “Does he
know I am following him?” thought Raskolnikov. The man went into the gateway
of a big house. Raskolnikov hastened to the gate and looked in to see whether he
would look round and sign to him. In the court-yard the man did turn round and
again seemed to beckon him. Raskolnikov at once followed him into the yard, but
the man was gone. He must have gone up the first staircase. Raskolnikov rushed
after him. He heard slow measured steps two flights above. The staircase seemed
strangely familiar. He reached the window on the first floor; the moon shone
through the panes with a melancholy and mysterious light; then he reached the
second floor. Bah! this is the flat where the painters were at work . . . but how was
it he did not recognise it at once? The steps of the man above had died away. “So
he must have stopped or hidden somewhere.” He reached the third storey, should
he go on? There was a stillness that was dreadful. . . . But he went on. The sound of
his own footsteps scared and frightened him. How dark it was! The man must be
hiding in some corner here. Ah! the flat was standing wide open, he hesitated and
went in. It was very dark and empty in the passage, as though everything had been
removed; he crept on tiptoe into the parlour which was flooded with moonlight.
Everything there was as before, the chairs, the looking-glass, the yellow sofa and
the pictures in the frames. A huge, round, copper-red moon looked in at the
windows. “It’s the moon that makes it so still, weaving some mystery,” thought
Raskolnikov. He stood and waited, waited a long while, and the more silent the
moonlight, the more violently his heart beat, till it was painful. And still the same
hush. Suddenly he heard a momentary sharp crack like the snapping of a splinter
and all was still again. A fly flew up suddenly and struck the window pane with a
plaintive buzz. At that moment he noticed in the corner between the window and
the little cupboard something like a cloak hanging on the wall. “Why is that cloak
here?” he thought, “it wasn’t there before . . . .” He went up to it quietly and felt
that there was someone hiding behind it. He cautiously moved the cloak and saw,
sitting on a chair in the corner, the old woman bent double so that he couldn’t see
her face; but it was she. He stood over her. “She is afraid,” he thought. He
stealthily took the axe from the noose and struck her one blow, then another on
the skull. But strange to say she did not stir, as though she were made of wood. He
was frightened, bent down nearer and tried to look at her; but she, too, bent her
head lower. He bent right down to the ground and peeped up into her face from
below, he peeped and turned cold with horror: the old woman was sitting and
laughing, shaking with noiseless laughter, doing her utmost that he should not
hear it. Suddenly he fancied that the door from the bedroom was opened a little
and that there was laughter and whispering within. He was overcome with frenzy
and he began hitting the old woman on the head with all his force, but at every
blow of the axe the laughter and whispering from the bedroom grew louder and
the old woman was simply shaking with mirth. He was rushing away, but the
passage was full of people, the doors of the flats stood open and on the landing, on
the stairs and everywhere below there were people, rows of heads, all looking, but
huddled together in silence and expectation. Something gripped his heart, his legs
were rooted to the spot, they would not move. . . . He tried to scream and woke up.
He drew a deep breath — but his dream seemed strangely to persist: his door
was flung open and a man whom he had never seen stood in the doorway watching
him intently.

Raskolnikov had hardly opened his eyes and he instantly closed them again.
He lay on his back without stirring.

“Is it still a dream?” he wondered and again raised his eyelids hardly
perceptibly; the stranger was standing in the same place, still watching him.
He stepped cautiously into the room, carefully closing the door after him,
went up to the table, paused a moment, still keeping his eyes on Raskolnikov, and
noiselessly seated himself on the chair by the sofa; he put his hat on the floor
beside him and leaned his hands on his cane and his chin on his hands. It was
evident that he was prepared to wait indefinitely. As far as Raskolnikov could
make out from his stolen glances, he was a man no longer young, stout, with a full,
fair, almost whitish beard.

Ten minutes passed. It was still light, but beginning to get dusk. There was
complete stillness in the room. Not a sound came from the stairs. Only a big fly
buzzed and fluttered against the window pane. It was unbearable at last.
Raskolnikov suddenly got up and sat on the sofa.

“Come, tell me what you want.”

“I knew you were not asleep, but only pretending,” the stranger answered
oddly, laughing calmly. “Arkady Ivanovitch Svidrigaïlov, allow me to introduce
myself . . . .”
 PART IV

CHAPTER I

“Can this be still a dream?” Raskolnikov thought once more.

He looked carefully and suspiciously at the unexpected visitor.

“Svidrigaïlov! What nonsense! It can’t be!” he said at last aloud in

bewilderment.

His visitor did not seem at all surprised at this exclamation.

“I’ve come to you for two reasons. In the first place, I wanted to make your
personal acquaintance, as I have already heard a great deal about you that is
interesting and flattering; secondly, I cherish the hope that you may not refuse to
assist me in a matter directly concerning the welfare of your sister, Avdotya
Romanovna. For without your support she might not let me come near her now,
for she is prejudiced against me, but with your assistance I reckon on …”

“You reckon wrongly,” interrupted Raskolnikov.

“They only arrived yesterday, may I ask you?”

Raskolnikov made no reply.

“It was yesterday, I know. I only arrived myself the day before. Well, let me
tell you this, Rodion Romanovitch, I don’t consider it necessary to justify myself,
but kindly tell me what was there particularly criminal on my part in all this
business, speaking without prejudice, with common sense?”

Raskolnikov continued to look at him in silence.

“That in my own house I persecuted a defenceless girl and ‘insulted her with
my infamous proposals’— is that it? (I am anticipating you.) But you’ve only to
assume that I, too, am a man et nihil humanum . . . in a word, that I am capable of
being attracted and falling in love (which does not depend on our will), then
everything can be explained in the most natural manner. The question is, am I a
monster, or am I myself a victim? And what if I am a victim? In proposing to the
object of my passion to elope with me to America or Switzerland, I may have
cherished the deepest respect for her and may have thought that I was promoting
our mutual happiness! Reason is the slave of passion, you know; why, probably, I
was doing more harm to myself than anyone!”
“But that’s not the point,” Raskolnikov interrupted with disgust. “It’s simply
that whether you are right or wrong, we dislike you. We don’t want to have
anything to do with you. We show you the door. Go out!”

Svidrigaïlov broke into a sudden laugh.

“But you’re . . . but there’s no getting round you,” he said, laughing in the
frankest way. “I hoped to get round you, but you took up the right line at once!”

“But you are trying to get round me still!”

“What of it? What of it?” cried Svidrigaïlov, laughing openly. “But this is what
the French call bonne guerre, and the most innocent form of deception! . . . But
still you have interrupted me; one way or another, I repeat again: there would
never have been any unpleasantness except for what happened in the garden.
Marfa Petrovna …”
“You have got rid of Marfa Petrovna, too, so they say?” Raskolnikov
interrupted rudely.

“Oh, you’ve heard that, too, then? You’d be sure to, though. . . . But as for your
question, I really don’t know what to say, though my own conscience is quite at
rest on that score. Don’t suppose that I am in any apprehension about it. All was
regular and in order; the medical inquiry diagnosed apoplexy due to bathing
immediately after a heavy dinner and a bottle of wine, and indeed it could have
proved nothing else. But I’ll tell you what I have been thinking to myself of late, on
my way here in the train, especially: didn’t I contribute to all that . . . calamity,
morally, in a way, by irritation or something of the sort. But I came to the
conclusion that that, too, was quite out of the question.”
Raskolnikov laughed.

“I wonder you trouble yourself about it!”

“But what are you laughing at? Only consider, I struck her just twice with a
switch — there were no marks even . . . don’t regard me as a cynic, please; I am
perfectly aware how atrocious it was of me and all that; but I know for certain, too,
that Marfa Petrovna was very likely pleased at my, so to say, warmth. The story of
your sister had been wrung out to the last drop; for the last three days Marfa
Petrovna had been forced to sit at home; she had nothing to show herself with in
the town. Besides, she had bored them so with that letter (you heard about her
reading the letter). And all of a sudden those two switches fell from heaven! Her
first act was to order the carriage to be got out. . . . Not to speak of the fact that
there are cases when women are very, very glad to be insulted in spite of all their
show of indignation. There are instances of it with everyone; human beings in
general, indeed, greatly love to be insulted, have you noticed that? But it’s
particularly so with women. One might even say it’s their only amusement.”

At one time Raskolnikov thought of getting up and walking out and so

finishing the interview. But some curiosity and even a sort of prudence made him
linger for a moment.

“You are fond of fighting?” he asked carelessly.

“No, not very,” Svidrigaïlov answered, calmly. “And Marfa Petrovna and I
scarcely ever fought. We lived very harmoniously, and she was always pleased
with me. I only used the whip twice in all our seven years (not counting a third
occasion of a very ambiguous character). The first time, two months after our
marriage, immediately after we arrived in the country, and the last time was that
of which we are speaking. Did you suppose I was such a monster, such a
reactionary, such a slave driver? Ha, ha! By the way, do you remember, Rodion
Romanovitch, how a few years ago, in those days of beneficent publicity, a
nobleman, I’ve forgotten his name, was put to shame everywhere, in all the
papers, for having thrashed a German woman in the railway train. You
remember? It was in those days, that very year I believe, the ‘disgraceful action of
the Age‘ took place (you know, ‘The Egyptian Nights,’ that public reading, you
remember? The dark eyes, you know! Ah, the golden days of our youth, where are
they?). Well, as for the gentleman who thrashed the German, I feel no sympathy
with him, because after all what need is there for sympathy? But I must say that
there are sometimes such provoking ‘Germans’ that I don’t believe there is a
progressive who could quite answer for himself. No one looked at the subject from
that point of view then, but that’s the truly humane point of view, I assure you.”

After saying this, Svidrigaïlov broke into a sudden laugh again. Raskolnikov
saw clearly that this was a man with a firm purpose in his mind and able to keep it
to himself.
“I expect you’ve not talked to anyone for some days?” he asked.
 “Scarcely anyone. I suppose you are wondering at my being such an adaptable
man?”

“No, I am only wondering at your being too adaptable a man.”

“Because I am not offended at the rudeness of your questions? Is that it? But
why take offence? As you asked, so I answered,” he replied, with a surprising
expression of simplicity. “You know, there’s hardly anything I take interest in,” he
went on, as it were dreamily, “especially now, I’ve nothing to do. . . . You are quite
at liberty to imagine though that I am making up to you with a motive, particularly
as I told you I want to see your sister about something. But I’ll confess frankly, I
am very much bored. The last three days especially, so I am delighted to see you.
. . . Don’t be angry, Rodion Romanovitch, but you seem to be somehow awfully
strange yourself. Say what you like, there’s something wrong with you, and now,
too . . . not this very minute, I mean, but now, generally. . . . Well, well, I won’t, I
won’t, don’t scowl! I am not such a bear, you know, as you think.”

Raskolnikov looked gloomily at him.

“You are not a bear, perhaps, at all,” he said. “I fancy indeed that you are a
man of very good breeding, or at least know how on occasion to behave like one.”

“I am not particularly interested in anyone’s opinion,” Svidrigaïlov answered,

dryly and even with a shade of haughtiness, “and therefore why not be vulgar at
times when vulgarity is such a convenient cloak for our climate . . . and especially
if one has a natural propensity that way,” he added, laughing again.

“But I’ve heard you have many friends here. You are, as they say, ‘not without
connections.’ What can you want with me, then, unless you’ve some special
object?”
“That’s true that I have friends here,” Svidrigaïlov admitted, not replying to
the chief point. “I’ve met some already. I’ve been lounging about for the last three
days, and I’ve seen them, or they’ve seen me. That’s a matter of course. I am well
dressed and reckoned not a poor man; the emancipation of the serfs hasn’t
affected me; my property consists chiefly of forests and water meadows. The
revenue has not fallen off; but . . . I am not going to see them, I was sick of them
long ago. I’ve been here three days and have called on no one. . . . What a town it
is! How has it come into existence among us, tell me that? A town of officials and
students of all sorts. Yes, there’s a great deal I didn’t notice when I was here eight
years ago, kicking up my heels. . . . My only hope now is in anatomy, by Jove, it is!”
“Anatomy?”

“But as for these clubs, Dussauts, parades, or progress, indeed, maybe — well,
all that can go on without me,” he went on, again without noticing the question.
“Besides, who wants to be a card-sharper?”
“Why, have you been a card-sharper then?”
“How could I help being? There was a regular set of us, men of the best
society, eight years ago; we had a fine time. And all men of breeding, you know,
poets, men of property. And indeed as a rule in our Russian society the best
manners are found among those who’ve been thrashed, have you noticed that? I’ve
deteriorated in the country. But I did get into prison for debt, through a low Greek
who came from Nezhin. Then Marfa Petrovna turned up; she bargained with him
and bought me off for thirty thousand silver pieces (I owed seventy thousand). We
were united in lawful wedlock and she bore me off into the country like a treasure.
You know she was five years older than I. She was very fond of me. For seven years
I never left the country. And, take note, that all my life she held a document over
me, the IOU for thirty thousand roubles, so if I were to elect to be restive about
anything I should be trapped at once! And she would have done it! Women find
nothing incompatible in that.”
“If it hadn’t been for that, would you have given her the slip?”
“I don’t know what to say. It was scarcely the document restrained me. I
didn’t want to go anywhere else. Marfa Petrovna herself invited me to go abroad,
seeing I was bored, but I’ve been abroad before, and always felt sick there. For no
reason, but the sunrise, the bay of Naples, the sea — you look at them and it makes
you sad. What’s most revolting is that one is really sad! No, it’s better at home.
Here at least one blames others for everything and excuses oneself. I should have
gone perhaps on an expedition to the North Pole, because j’ai le vin mauvais and
hate drinking, and there’s nothing left but wine. I have tried it. But, I say, I’ve been
told Berg is going up in a great balloon next Sunday from the Yusupov Garden and
will take up passengers at a fee. Is it true?”
“Why, would you go up?”

“I . . . No, oh, no,” muttered Svidrigaïlov really seeming to be deep in thought.

 “What does he mean? Is he in earnest?” Raskolnikov wondered.
“No, the document didn’t restrain me,” Svidrigaïlov went on, meditatively. “It
was my own doing, not leaving the country, and nearly a year ago Marfa Petrovna
gave me back the document on my name-day and made me a present of a
considerable sum of money, too. She had a fortune, you know. ‘You see how I trust
you, Arkady Ivanovitch’— that was actually her expression. You don’t believe she
used it? But do you know I managed the estate quite decently, they know me in the
neighbourhood. I ordered books, too. Marfa Petrovna at first approved, but
afterwards she was afraid of my over-studying.”
“You seem to be missing Marfa Petrovna very much?”
“Missing her? Perhaps. Really, perhaps I am. And, by the way, do you believe
in ghosts?”

“What ghosts?”
“Why, ordinary ghosts.”

“Do you believe in them?”

“Perhaps not, pour vous plaire. . . . I wouldn’t say no exactly.”

“Do you see them, then?”

Svidrigaïlov looked at him rather oddly.

“Marfa Petrovna is pleased to visit me,” he said, twisting his mouth into a
strange smile.
“How do you mean ‘she is pleased to visit you’?”

“She has been three times. I saw her first on the very day of the funeral, an
hour after she was buried. It was the day before I left to come here. The second
time was the day before yesterday, at daybreak, on the journey at the station of
Malaya Vishera, and the third time was two hours ago in the room where I am
staying. I was alone.”

“Were you awake?”

“Quite awake. I was wide awake every time. She comes, speaks to me for a
minute and goes out at the door — always at the door. I can almost hear her.”

“What made me think that something of the sort must be happening to you?”
Raskolnikov said suddenly.
At the same moment he was surprised at having said it. He was much excited.

“What! Did you think so?” Svidrigaïlov asked in astonishment. “Did you
really? Didn’t I say that there was something in common between us, eh?”
“You never said so!” Raskolnikov cried sharply and with heat.

“Didn’t I?”

“No!”
“I thought I did. When I came in and saw you lying with your eyes shut,
pretending, I said to myself at once, ‘Here’s the man.’”

“What do you mean by ‘the man?’ What are you talking about?” cried
Raskolnikov.
“What do I mean? I really don’t know . . . .” Svidrigaïlov muttered
ingenuously, as though he, too, were puzzled.

For a minute they were silent. They stared in each other’s faces.
“That’s all nonsense!” Raskolnikov shouted with vexation. “What does she say
when she comes to you?”

“She! Would you believe it, she talks of the silliest trifles and — man is a
strange creature — it makes me angry. The first time she came in (I was tired you
know: the funeral service, the funeral ceremony, the lunch afterwards. At last I
was left alone in my study. I lighted a cigar and began to think), she came in at the
door. ‘You’ve been so busy to-day, Arkady Ivanovitch, you have forgotten to wind
the dining-room clock,’ she said. All those seven years I’ve wound that clock every
week, and if I forgot it she would always remind me. The next day I set off on my
way here. I got out at the station at daybreak; I’d been asleep, tired out, with my
eyes half open, I was drinking some coffee. I looked up and there was suddenly
Marfa Petrovna sitting beside me with a pack of cards in her hands. ‘Shall I tell
your fortune for the journey, Arkady Ivanovitch?’ She was a great hand at telling
fortunes. I shall never forgive myself for not asking her to. I ran away in a fright,
and, besides, the bell rang. I was sitting to-day, feeling very heavy after a
miserable dinner from a cookshop; I was sitting smoking, all of a sudden Marfa
Petrovna again. She came in very smart in a new green silk dress with a long train.
‘Good day, Arkady Ivanovitch! How do you like my dress? Aniska can’t make like
this.’ (Aniska was a dressmaker in the country, one of our former serf girls who
had been trained in Moscow, a pretty wench.) She stood turning round before me.
I looked at the dress, and then I looked carefully, very carefully, at her face. ‘I
wonder you trouble to come to me about such trifles, Marfa Petrovna.’ ‘Good
gracious, you won’t let one disturb you about anything!’ To tease her I said, ‘I want
to get married, Marfa Petrovna.’ ‘That’s just like you, Arkady Ivanovitch; it does
you very little credit to come looking for a bride when you’ve hardly buried your
wife. And if you could make a good choice, at least, but I know it won’t be for your
happiness or hers, you will only be a laughing-stock to all good people.’ Then she
went out and her train seemed to rustle. Isn’t it nonsense, eh?”

“But perhaps you are telling lies?” Raskolnikov put in.

“I rarely lie,” answered Svidrigaïlov thoughtfully, apparently not noticing the
rudeness of the question.

“And in the past, have you ever seen ghosts before?”

“Y-yes, I have seen them, but only once in my life, six years ago. I had a serf,
Filka; just after his burial I called out forgetting ‘Filka, my pipe!’ He came in and
went to the cupboard where my pipes were. I sat still and thought ‘he is doing it
out of revenge,’ because we had a violent quarrel just before his death. ‘How dare
you come in with a hole in your elbow?’ I said. ‘Go away, you scamp!’ He turned
and went out, and never came again. I didn’t tell Marfa Petrovna at the time. I
wanted to have a service sung for him, but I was ashamed.”

“You should go to a doctor.”

“I know I am not well, without your telling me, though I don’t know what’s
wrong; I believe I am five times as strong as you are. I didn’t ask you whether you
believe that ghosts are seen, but whether you believe that they exist.”

“No, I won’t believe it!” Raskolnikov cried, with positive anger.

“What do people generally say?” muttered Svidrigaïlov, as though speaking to
himself, looking aside and bowing his head. “They say, ‘You are ill, so what
appears to you is only unreal fantasy.’ But that’s not strictly logical. I agree that
ghosts only appear to the sick, but that only proves that they are unable to appear
except to the sick, not that they don’t exist.”

“Nothing of the sort,” Raskolnikov insisted irritably.

 “No? You don’t think so?” Svidrigaïlov went on, looking at him deliberately.
“But what do you say to this argument (help me with it): ghosts are, as it were,
shreds and fragments of other worlds, the beginning of them. A man in health has,
of course, no reason to see them, because he is above all a man of this earth and is
bound for the sake of completeness and order to live only in this life. But as soon
as one is ill, as soon as the normal earthly order of the organism is broken, one
begins to realise the possibility of another world; and the more seriously ill one is,
the closer becomes one’s contact with that other world, so that as soon as the man
dies he steps straight into that world. I thought of that long ago. If you believe in a
future life, you could believe in that, too.”
“I don’t believe in a future life,” said Raskolnikov.

Svidrigaïlov sat lost in thought.

“And what if there are only spiders there, or something of that sort,” he said
suddenly.

“He is a madman,” thought Raskolnikov.

“We always imagine eternity as something beyond our conception, something

vast, vast! But why must it be vast? Instead of all that, what if it’s one little room,
like a bath house in the country, black and grimy and spiders in every corner, and
that’s all eternity is? I sometimes fancy it like that.”

“Can it be you can imagine nothing juster and more comforting than that?”
Raskolnikov cried, with a feeling of anguish.

“Juster? And how can we tell, perhaps that is just, and do you know it’s what I
would certainly have made it,” answered Svidrigaïlov, with a vague smile.

This horrible answer sent a cold chill through Raskolnikov. Svidrigaïlov

raised his head, looked at him, and suddenly began laughing.

“Only think,” he cried, “half an hour ago we had never seen each other, we
regarded each other as enemies; there is a matter unsettled between us; we’ve
thrown it aside, and away we’ve gone into the abstract! Wasn’t I right in saying
that we were birds of a feather?”

“Kindly allow me,” Raskolnikov went on irritably, “to ask you to explain why
you have honoured me with your visit . . . and . . . and I am in a hurry, I have no
time to waste. I want to go out.”
 “By all means, by all means. Your sister, Avdotya Romanovna, is going to be
married to Mr. Luzhin, Pyotr Petrovitch?”

“Can you refrain from any question about my sister and from mentioning her
name? I can’t understand how you dare utter her name in my presence, if you
really are Svidrigaïlov.”

“Why, but I’ve come here to speak about her; how can I avoid mentioning
her?”
“Very good, speak, but make haste.”

“I am sure that you must have formed your own opinion of this Mr. Luzhin,
who is a connection of mine through my wife, if you have only seen him for half an
hour, or heard any facts about him. He is no match for Avdotya Romanovna. I
believe Avdotya Romanovna is sacrificing herself generously and imprudently for
the sake of . . . for the sake of her family. I fancied from all I had heard of you that
you would be very glad if the match could be broken off without the sacrifice of
worldly advantages. Now I know you personally, I am convinced of it.”
“All this is very naïve . . . excuse me, I should have said impudent on your
part,” said Raskolnikov.

“You mean to say that I am seeking my own ends. Don’t be uneasy, Rodion
Romanovitch, if I were working for my own advantage, I would not have spoken
out so directly. I am not quite a fool. I will confess something psychologically
curious about that: just now, defending my love for Avdotya Romanovna, I said I
was myself the victim. Well, let me tell you that I’ve no feeling of love now, not the
slightest, so that I wonder myself indeed, for I really did feel something …”
“Through idleness and depravity,” Raskolnikov put in.

“I certainly am idle and depraved, but your sister has such qualities that even
I could not help being impressed by them. But that’s all nonsense, as I see myself
now.”

“Have you seen that long?”

“I began to be aware of it before, but was only perfectly sure of it the day
before yesterday, almost at the moment I arrived in Petersburg. I still fancied in
Moscow, though, that I was coming to try to get Avdotya Romanovna’s hand and
to cut out Mr. Luzhin.”
 “Excuse me for interrupting you; kindly be brief, and come to the object of
your visit. I am in a hurry, I want to go out …”
“With the greatest pleasure. On arriving here and determining on a certain . . .
journey, I should like to make some necessary preliminary arrangements. I left my
children with an aunt; they are well provided for; and they have no need of me
personally. And a nice father I should make, too! I have taken nothing but what
Marfa Petrovna gave me a year ago. That’s enough for me. Excuse me, I am just
coming to the point. Before the journey which may come off, I want to settle Mr.
Luzhin, too. It’s not that I detest him so much, but it was through him I quarrelled
with Marfa Petrovna when I learned that she had dished up this marriage. I want
now to see Avdotya Romanovna through your mediation, and if you like in your
presence, to explain to her that in the first place she will never gain anything but
harm from Mr. Luzhin. Then, begging her pardon for all past unpleasantness, to
make her a present of ten thousand roubles and so assist the rupture with Mr.
Luzhin, a rupture to which I believe she is herself not disinclined, if she could see
the way to it.”

“You are certainly mad,” cried Raskolnikov not so much angered as

astonished. “How dare you talk like that!”
“I knew you would scream at me; but in the first place, though I am not rich,
this ten thousand roubles is perfectly free; I have absolutely no need for it. If
Avdotya Romanovna does not accept it, I shall waste it in some more foolish way.
That’s the first thing. Secondly, my conscience is perfectly easy; I make the offer
with no ulterior motive. You may not believe it, but in the end Avdotya
Romanovna and you will know. The point is, that I did actually cause your sister,
whom I greatly respect, some trouble and unpleasantness, and so, sincerely
regretting it, I want — not to compensate, not to repay her for the unpleasantness,
but simply to do something to her advantage, to show that I am not, after all,
privileged to do nothing but harm. If there were a millionth fraction of self-
interest in my offer, I should not have made it so openly; and I should not have
offered her ten thousand only, when five weeks ago I offered her more, Besides, I
may, perhaps, very soon marry a young lady, and that alone ought to prevent
suspicion of any design on Avdotya Romanovna. In conclusion, let me say that in
marrying Mr. Luzhin, she is taking money just the same, only from another man.
Don’t be angry, Rodion Romanovitch, think it over coolly and quietly.”
 Svidrigaïlov himself was exceedingly cool and quiet as he was saying this.

“I beg you to say no more,” said Raskolnikov. “In any case this is
unpardonable impertinence.”

“Not in the least. Then a man may do nothing but harm to his neighbour in
this world, and is prevented from doing the tiniest bit of good by trivial
conventional formalities. That’s absurd. If I died, for instance, and left that sum to
your sister in my will, surely she wouldn’t refuse it?”

“Very likely she would.”

“Oh, no, indeed. However, if you refuse it, so be it, though ten thousand
roubles is a capital thing to have on occasion. In any case I beg you to repeat what
I have said to Avdotya Romanovna.”

“No, I won’t.”

“In that case, Rodion Romanovitch, I shall be obliged to try and see her
myself and worry her by doing so.”

“And if I do tell her, will you not try to see her?”

“I don’t know really what to say. I should like very much to see her once
more.”

“Don’t hope for it.”

“I’m sorry. But you don’t know me. Perhaps we may become better friends.”

“You think we may become friends?”

“And why not?” Svidrigaïlov said, smiling. He stood up and took his hat. “I
didn’t quite intend to disturb you and I came here without reckoning on it . . .
though I was very much struck by your face this morning.”
“Where did you see me this morning?” Raskolnikov asked uneasily.

“I saw you by chance. . . . I kept fancying there is something about you like
me. . . . But don’t be uneasy. I am not intrusive; I used to get on all right with card-
sharpers, and I never bored Prince Svirbey, a great personage who is a distant
relation of mine, and I could write about Raphael’s Madonna in Madam Prilukov’s
album, and I never left Marfa Petrovna’s side for seven years, and I used to stay
the night at Viazemsky’s house in the Hay Market in the old days, and I may go up
in a balloon with Berg, perhaps.”
 “Oh, all right. Are you starting soon on your travels, may I ask?”

“What travels?”

“Why, on that ‘journey’; you spoke of it yourself.”

“A journey? Oh, yes. I did speak of a journey. Well, that’s a wide subject. . . . if
only you knew what you are asking,” he added, and gave a sudden, loud, short
laugh. “Perhaps I’ll get married instead of the journey. They’re making a match for
me.”

“Here?”
“Yes.”

“How have you had time for that?”

“But I am very anxious to see Avdotya Romanovna once. I earnestly beg it.
Well, good-bye for the present. Oh, yes. I have forgotten something. Tell your
sister, Rodion Romanovitch, that Marfa Petrovna remembered her in her will and
left her three thousand roubles. That’s absolutely certain. Marfa Petrovna
arranged it a week before her death, and it was done in my presence. Avdotya
Romanovna will be able to receive the money in two or three weeks.”

“Are you telling the truth?”

“Yes, tell her. Well, your servant. I am staying very near you.”
As he went out, Svidrigaïlov ran up against Razumihin in the doorway.
 CHAPTER II

It was nearly eight o’clock. The two young men hurried to Bakaleyev’s, to arrive
before Luzhin.
“Why, who was that?” asked Razumihin, as soon as they were in the street.

“It was Svidrigaïlov, that landowner in whose house my sister was insulted
when she was their governess. Through his persecuting her with his attentions,
she was turned out by his wife, Marfa Petrovna. This Marfa Petrovna begged
Dounia’s forgiveness afterwards, and she’s just died suddenly. It was of her we
were talking this morning. I don’t know why I’m afraid of that man. He came here
at once after his wife’s funeral. He is very strange, and is determined on doing
something. . . . We must guard Dounia from him . . . that’s what I wanted to tell
you, do you hear?”

“Guard her! What can he do to harm Avdotya Romanovna? Thank you,

Rodya, for speaking to me like that. . . . We will, we will guard her. Where does he
live?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why didn’t you ask? What a pity! I’ll find out, though.”
“Did you see him?” asked Raskolnikov after a pause.

“Yes, I noticed him, I noticed him well.”

“You did really see him? You saw him clearly?” Raskolnikov insisted.
“Yes, I remember him perfectly, I should know him in a thousand; I have a
good memory for faces.”

They were silent again.

“Hm! . . . that’s all right,” muttered Raskolnikov. “Do you know, I fancied . . . I
keep thinking that it may have been an hallucination.”

“What do you mean? I don’t understand you.”

“Well, you all say,” Raskolnikov went on, twisting his mouth into a smile,
“that I am mad. I thought just now that perhaps I really am mad, and have only
seen a phantom.”
 “What do you mean?”

“Why, who can tell? Perhaps I am really mad, and perhaps everything that
happened all these days may be only imagination.”
“Ach, Rodya, you have been upset again! . . . But what did he say, what did he
come for?”
Raskolnikov did not answer. Razumihin thought a minute.
“Now let me tell you my story,” he began, “I came to you, you were asleep.
Then we had dinner and then I went to Porfiry’s, Zametov was still with him. I
tried to begin, but it was no use. I couldn’t speak in the right way. They don’t seem
to understand and can’t understand, but are not a bit ashamed. I drew Porfiry to
the window, and began talking to him, but it was still no use. He looked away and
I looked away. At last I shook my fist in his ugly face, and told him as a cousin I’d
brain him. He merely looked at me, I cursed and came away. That was all. It was
very stupid. To Zametov I didn’t say a word. But, you see, I thought I’d made a
mess of it, but as I went downstairs a brilliant idea struck me: why should we
trouble? Of course if you were in any danger or anything, but why need you care?
You needn’t care a hang for them. We shall have a laugh at them afterwards, and if
I were in your place I’d mystify them more than ever. How ashamed they’ll be
afterwards! Hang them! We can thrash them afterwards, but let’s laugh at them
now!”

“To be sure,” answered Raskolnikov. “But what will you say to-morrow?” he
thought to himself. Strange to say, till that moment it had never occurred to him
to wonder what Razumihin would think when he knew. As he thought it,
Raskolnikov looked at him. Razumihin’s account of his visit to Porfiry had very
little interest for him, so much had come and gone since then.

In the corridor they came upon Luzhin; he had arrived punctually at eight,
and was looking for the number, so that all three went in together without greeting
or looking at one another. The young men walked in first, while Pyotr Petrovitch,
for good manners, lingered a little in the passage, taking off his coat. Pulcheria
Alexandrovna came forward at once to greet him in the doorway, Dounia was
welcoming her brother. Pyotr Petrovitch walked in and quite amiably, though with
redoubled dignity, bowed to the ladies. He looked, however, as though he were a
little put out and could not yet recover himself. Pulcheria Alexandrovna, who
seemed also a little embarrassed, hastened to make them all sit down at the round
table where a samovar was boiling. Dounia and Luzhin were facing one another on
opposite sides of the table. Razumihin and Raskolnikov were facing Pulcheria
Alexandrovna, Razumihin was next to Luzhin and Raskolnikov was beside his
sister.

A moment’s silence followed. Pyotr Petrovitch deliberately drew out a

cambric handkerchief reeking of scent and blew his nose with an air of a
benevolent man who felt himself slighted, and was firmly resolved to insist on an
explanation. In the passage the idea had occurred to him to keep on his overcoat
and walk away, and so give the two ladies a sharp and emphatic lesson and make
them feel the gravity of the position. But he could not bring himself to do this.
Besides, he could not endure uncertainty, and he wanted an explanation: if his
request had been so openly disobeyed, there was something behind it, and in that
case it was better to find it out beforehand; it rested with him to punish them and
there would always be time for that.

“I trust you had a favourable journey,” he inquired officially of Pulcheria

Alexandrovna.

“Oh, very, Pyotr Petrovitch.”

“I am gratified to hear it. And Avdotya Romanovna is not over-fatigued

either?”
“I am young and strong, I don’t get tired, but it was a great strain for mother,”
answered Dounia.

“That’s unavoidable! our national railways are of terrible length. ‘Mother

Russia,’ as they say, is a vast country . . . . In spite of all my desire to do so, I was
unable to meet you yesterday. But I trust all passed off without inconvenience?”
“Oh, no, Pyotr Petrovitch, it was all terribly disheartening,” Pulcheria
Alexandrovna hastened to declare with peculiar intonation, “and if Dmitri
Prokofitch had not been sent us, I really believe by God Himself, we should have
been utterly lost. Here, he is! Dmitri Prokofitch Razumihin,” she added,
introducing him to Luzhin.
“I had the pleasure . . . yesterday,” muttered Pyotr Petrovitch with a hostile
glance sidelong at Razumihin; then he scowled and was silent.
 Pyotr Petrovitch belonged to that class of persons, on the surface very polite
in society, who make a great point of punctiliousness, but who, directly they are
crossed in anything, are completely disconcerted, and become more like sacks of
flour than elegant and lively men of society. Again all was silent; Raskolnikov was
obstinately mute, Avdotya Romanovna was unwilling to open the conversation too
soon. Razumihin had nothing to say, so Pulcheria Alexandrovna was anxious
again.
“Marfa Petrovna is dead, have you heard?” she began having recourse to her
leading item of conversation.
“To be sure, I heard so. I was immediately informed, and I have come to make
you acquainted with the fact that Arkady Ivanovitch Svidrigaïlov set off in haste
for Petersburg immediately after his wife’s funeral. So at least I have excellent
authority for believing.”
“To Petersburg? here?” Dounia asked in alarm and looked at her mother.
“Yes, indeed, and doubtless not without some design, having in view the
rapidity of his departure, and all the circumstances preceding it.”
“Good heavens! won’t he leave Dounia in peace even here?” cried Pulcheria
Alexandrovna.
“I imagine that neither you nor Avdotya Romanovna have any grounds for
uneasiness, unless, of course, you are yourselves desirous of getting into
communication with him. For my part I am on my guard, and am now discovering
where he is lodging.”
“Oh, Pyotr Petrovitch, you would not believe what a fright you have given
me,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna went on: “I’ve only seen him twice, but I thought
him terrible, terrible! I am convinced that he was the cause of Marfa Petrovna’s
death.”
“It’s impossible to be certain about that. I have precise information. I do not
dispute that he may have contributed to accelerate the course of events by the
moral influence, so to say, of the affront; but as to the general conduct and moral
characteristics of that personage, I am in agreement with you. I do not know
whether he is well off now, and precisely what Marfa Petrovna left him; this will be
known to me within a very short period; but no doubt here in Petersburg, if he has
any pecuniary resources, he will relapse at once into his old ways. He is the most
depraved, and abjectly vicious specimen of that class of men. I have considerable
reason to believe that Marfa Petrovna, who was so unfortunate as to fall in love
with him and to pay his debts eight years ago, was of service to him also in another
way. Solely by her exertions and sacrifices, a criminal charge, involving an element
of fantastic and homicidal brutality for which he might well have been sentenced
to Siberia, was hushed up. That’s the sort of man he is, if you care to know.”

“Good heavens!” cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna. Raskolnikov listened

attentively.

“Are you speaking the truth when you say that you have good evidence of
this?” Dounia asked sternly and emphatically.

“I only repeat what I was told in secret by Marfa Petrovna. I must observe that
from the legal point of view the case was far from clear. There was, and I believe
still is, living here a woman called Resslich, a foreigner, who lent small sums of
money at interest, and did other commissions, and with this woman Svidrigaïlov
had for a long while close and mysterious relations. She had a relation, a niece I
believe, living with her, a deaf and dumb girl of fifteen, or perhaps not more than
fourteen. Resslich hated this girl, and grudged her every crust; she used to beat
her mercilessly. One day the girl was found hanging in the garret. At the inquest
the verdict was suicide. After the usual proceedings the matter ended, but, later
on, information was given that the child had been . . . cruelly outraged by
Svidrigaïlov. It is true, this was not clearly established, the information was given
by another German woman of loose character whose word could not be trusted; no
statement was actually made to the police, thanks to Marfa Petrovna’s money and
exertions; it did not get beyond gossip. And yet the story is a very significant one.
You heard, no doubt, Avdotya Romanovna, when you were with them the story of
the servant Philip who died of ill treatment he received six years ago, before the
abolition of serfdom.”
“I heard, on the contrary, that this Philip hanged himself.”

“Quite so, but what drove him, or rather perhaps disposed him, to suicide was
the systematic persecution and severity of Mr. Svidrigaïlov.”

“I don’t know that,” answered Dounia, dryly. “I only heard a queer story that
Philip was a sort of hypochondriac, a sort of domestic philosopher, the servants
used to say, ‘he read himself silly,’ and that he hanged himself partly on account of
Mr. Svidrigaïlov’s mockery of him and not his blows. When I was there he behaved
well to the servants, and they were actually fond of him, though they certainly did
blame him for Philip’s death.”
“I perceive, Avdotya Romanovna, that you seem disposed to undertake his
defence all of a sudden,” Luzhin observed, twisting his lips into an ambiguous
smile, “there’s no doubt that he is an astute man, and insinuating where ladies are
concerned, of which Marfa Petrovna, who has died so strangely, is a terrible
instance. My only desire has been to be of service to you and your mother with my
advice, in view of the renewed efforts which may certainly be anticipated from
him. For my part it’s my firm conviction, that he will end in a debtor’s prison
again. Marfa Petrovna had not the slightest intention of settling anything
substantial on him, having regard for his children’s interests, and, if she left him
anything, it would only be the merest sufficiency, something insignificant and
ephemeral, which would not last a year for a man of his habits.”
“Pyotr Petrovitch, I beg you,” said Dounia, “say no more of Mr. Svidrigaïlov. It
makes me miserable.”

“He has just been to see me,” said Raskolnikov, breaking his silence for the
first time.
There were exclamations from all, and they all turned to him. Even Pyotr
Petrovitch was roused.

“An hour and a half ago, he came in when I was asleep, waked me, and
introduced himself,” Raskolnikov continued. “He was fairly cheerful and at ease,
and quite hopes that we shall become friends. He is particularly anxious, by the
way, Dounia, for an interview with you, at which he asked me to assist. He has a
proposition to make to you, and he told me about it. He told me, too, that a week
before her death Marfa Petrovna left you three thousand roubles in her will,
Dounia, and that you can receive the money very shortly.”

“Thank God!” cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna, crossing herself. “Pray for her
soul, Dounia!”

“It’s a fact!” broke from Luzhin.

“Tell us, what more?” Dounia urged Raskolnikov.

“Then he said that he wasn’t rich and all the estate was left to his children
who are now with an aunt, then that he was staying somewhere not far from me,
but where, I don’t know, I didn’t ask . . . .”

“But what, what does he want to propose to Dounia?” cried Pulcheria

Alexandrovna in a fright. “Did he tell you?”
“Yes.”

“What was it?”

“I’ll tell you afterwards.”

Raskolnikov ceased speaking and turned his attention to his tea.

Pyotr Petrovitch looked at his watch.

“I am compelled to keep a business engagement, and so I shall not be in your

way,” he added with an air of some pique and he began getting up.
“Don’t go, Pyotr Petrovitch,” said Dounia, “you intended to spend the
evening. Besides, you wrote yourself that you wanted to have an explanation with
mother.”

“Precisely so, Avdotya Romanovna,” Pyotr Petrovitch answered impressively,

sitting down again, but still holding his hat. “I certainly desired an explanation
with you and your honoured mother upon a very important point indeed. But as
your brother cannot speak openly in my presence of some proposals of Mr.
Svidrigaïlov, I, too, do not desire and am not able to speak openly . . . in the
presence of others . . . of certain matters of the greatest gravity. Moreover, my
most weighty and urgent request has been disregarded . . . .”

Assuming an aggrieved air, Luzhin relapsed into dignified silence.

“Your request that my brother should not be present at our meeting was
disregarded solely at my instance,” said Dounia. “You wrote that you had been
insulted by my brother; I think that this must be explained at once, and you must
be reconciled. And if Rodya really has insulted you, then he should and will
apologise.”

Pyotr Petrovitch took a stronger line.

“There are insults, Avdotya Romanovna, which no goodwill can make us

forget. There is a line in everything which it is dangerous to overstep; and when it
has been overstepped, there is no return.”
 “That wasn’t what I was speaking of exactly, Pyotr Petrovitch,” Dounia
interrupted with some impatience. “Please understand that our whole future
depends now on whether all this is explained and set right as soon as possible. I
tell you frankly at the start that I cannot look at it in any other light, and if you
have the least regard for me, all this business must be ended to-day, however hard
that may be. I repeat that if my brother is to blame he will ask your forgiveness.”

“I am surprised at your putting the question like that,” said Luzhin, getting
more and more irritated. “Esteeming, and so to say, adoring you, I may at the
same time, very well indeed, be able to dislike some member of your family.
Though I lay claim to the happiness of your hand, I cannot accept duties
incompatible with …”
“Ah, don’t be so ready to take offence, Pyotr Petrovitch,” Dounia interrupted
with feeling, “and be the sensible and generous man I have always considered, and
wish to consider, you to be. I’ve given you a great promise, I am your betrothed.
Trust me in this matter and, believe me, I shall be capable of judging impartially.
My assuming the part of judge is as much a surprise for my brother as for you.
When I insisted on his coming to our interview to-day after your letter, I told him
nothing of what I meant to do. Understand that, if you are not reconciled, I must
choose between you — it must be either you or he. That is how the question rests
on your side and on his. I don’t want to be mistaken in my choice, and I must not
be. For your sake I must break off with my brother, for my brother’s sake I must
break off with you. I can find out for certain now whether he is a brother to me,
and I want to know it; and of you, whether I am dear to you, whether you esteem
me, whether you are the husband for me.”

“Avdotya Romanovna,” Luzhin declared huffily, “your words are of too much
consequence to me; I will say more, they are offensive in view of the position I
have the honour to occupy in relation to you. To say nothing of your strange and
offensive setting me on a level with an impertinent boy, you admit the possibility
of breaking your promise to me. You say ‘you or he,’ showing thereby of how little
consequence I am in your eyes . . . I cannot let this pass considering the
relationship and . . . the obligations existing between us.”
“What!” cried Dounia, flushing. “I set your interest beside all that has hitherto
been most precious in my life, what has made up the whole of my life, and here
you are offended at my making too little account of you.”
 Raskolnikov smiled sarcastically, Razumihin fidgeted, but Pyotr Petrovitch
did not accept the reproof; on the contrary, at every word he became more
persistent and irritable, as though he relished it.

“Love for the future partner of your life, for your husband, ought to outweigh
your love for your brother,” he pronounced sententiously, “and in any case I
cannot be put on the same level. . . . Although I said so emphatically that I would
not speak openly in your brother’s presence, nevertheless, I intend now to ask
your honoured mother for a necessary explanation on a point of great importance
closely affecting my dignity. Your son,” he turned to Pulcheria Alexandrovna,
“yesterday in the presence of Mr. Razsudkin (or . . . I think that’s it? excuse me I
have forgotten your surname,” he bowed politely to Razumihin) “insulted me by
misrepresenting the idea I expressed to you in a private conversation, drinking
coffee, that is, that marriage with a poor girl who has had experience of trouble is
more advantageous from the conjugal point of view than with one who has lived in
luxury, since it is more profitable for the moral character. Your son intentionally
exaggerated the significance of my words and made them ridiculous, accusing me
of malicious intentions, and, as far as I could see, relied upon your
correspondence with him. I shall consider myself happy, Pulcheria Alexandrovna,
if it is possible for you to convince me of an opposite conclusion, and thereby
considerately reassure me. Kindly let me know in what terms precisely you
repeated my words in your letter to Rodion Romanovitch.”

“I don’t remember,” faltered Pulcheria Alexandrovna. “I repeated them as I

understood them. I don’t know how Rodya repeated them to you, perhaps he
exaggerated.”

“He could not have exaggerated them, except at your instigation.”

“Pyotr Petrovitch,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna declared with dignity, “the proof
that Dounia and I did not take your words in a very bad sense is the fact that we
are here.”

“Good, mother,” said Dounia approvingly.

“Then this is my fault again,” said Luzhin, aggrieved.

“Well, Pyotr Petrovitch, you keep blaming Rodion, but you yourself have just
written what was false about him,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna added, gaining
courage.
 “I don’t remember writing anything false.”

“You wrote,” Raskolnikov said sharply, not turning to Luzhin, “that I gave
money yesterday not to the widow of the man who was killed, as was the fact, but
to his daughter (whom I had never seen till yesterday). You wrote this to make
dissension between me and my family, and for that object added coarse
expressions about the conduct of a girl whom you don’t know. All that is mean
slander.”
“Excuse me, sir,” said Luzhin, quivering with fury. “I enlarged upon your
qualities and conduct in my letter solely in response to your sister’s and mother’s
inquiries, how I found you, and what impression you made on me. As for what
you’ve alluded to in my letter, be so good as to point out one word of falsehood,
show, that is, that you didn’t throw away your money, and that there are not
worthless persons in that family, however unfortunate.”

“To my thinking, you, with all your virtues, are not worth the little finger of
that unfortunate girl at whom you throw stones.”
“Would you go so far then as to let her associate with your mother and
sister?”

“I have done so already, if you care to know. I made her sit down to-day with
mother and Dounia.”
“Rodya!” cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna. Dounia crimsoned, Razumihin
knitted his brows. Luzhin smiled with lofty sarcasm.

“You may see for yourself, Avdotya Romanovna,” he said, “whether it is

possible for us to agree. I hope now that this question is at an end, once and for
all. I will withdraw, that I may not hinder the pleasures of family intimacy, and the
discussion of secrets.” He got up from his chair and took his hat. “But in
withdrawing, I venture to request that for the future I may be spared similar
meetings, and, so to say, compromises. I appeal particularly to you, honoured
Pulcheria Alexandrovna, on this subject, the more as my letter was addressed to
you and to no one else.”

Pulcheria Alexandrovna was a little offended.

“You seem to think we are completely under your authority, Pyotr Petrovitch.
Dounia has told you the reason your desire was disregarded, she had the best
intentions. And indeed you write as though you were laying commands upon me.
Are we to consider every desire of yours as a command? Let me tell you on the
contrary that you ought to show particular delicacy and consideration for us now,
because we have thrown up everything, and have come here relying on you, and so
we are in any case in a sense in your hands.”

“That is not quite true, Pulcheria Alexandrovna, especially at the present

moment, when the news has come of Marfa Petrovna’s legacy, which seems indeed
very apropos, judging from the new tone you take to me,” he added sarcastically.

“Judging from that remark, we may certainly presume that you were
reckoning on our helplessness,” Dounia observed irritably.
“But now in any case I cannot reckon on it, and I particularly desire not to
hinder your discussion of the secret proposals of Arkady Ivanovitch Svidrigaïlov,
which he has entrusted to your brother and which have, I perceive, a great and
possibly a very agreeable interest for you.”
“Good heavens!” cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna.

Razumihin could not sit still on his chair.

“Aren’t you ashamed now, sister?” asked Raskolnikov.

“I am ashamed, Rodya,” said Dounia. “Pyotr Petrovitch, go away,” she turned
to him, white with anger.

Pyotr Petrovitch had apparently not at all expected such a conclusion. He had
too much confidence in himself, in his power and in the helplessness of his
victims. He could not believe it even now. He turned pale, and his lips quivered.

“Avdotya Romanovna, if I go out of this door now, after such a dismissal,

then, you may reckon on it, I will never come back. Consider what you are doing.
My word is not to be shaken.”

“What insolence!” cried Dounia, springing up from her seat. “I don’t want you
to come back again.”

“What! So that’s how it stands!” cried Luzhin, utterly unable to the last
moment to believe in the rupture and so completely thrown out of his reckoning
now. “So that’s how it stands! But do you know, Avdotya Romanovna, that I might
protest?”
 “What right have you to speak to her like that?” Pulcheria Alexandrovna
intervened hotly. “And what can you protest about? What rights have you? Am I to
give my Dounia to a man like you? Go away, leave us altogether! We are to blame
for having agreed to a wrong action, and I above all . . . .”

“But you have bound me, Pulcheria Alexandrovna,” Luzhin stormed in a

frenzy, “by your promise, and now you deny it and . . . besides . . . I have been led
on account of that into expenses . . . .”

This last complaint was so characteristic of Pyotr Petrovitch, that

Raskolnikov, pale with anger and with the effort of restraining it, could not help
breaking into laughter. But Pulcheria Alexandrovna was furious.

“Expenses? What expenses? Are you speaking of our trunk? But the
conductor brought it for nothing for you. Mercy on us, we have bound you! What
are you thinking about, Pyotr Petrovitch, it was you bound us, hand and foot, not
we!”

“Enough, mother, no more please,” Avdotya Romanovna implored. “Pyotr

Petrovitch, do be kind and go!”

“I am going, but one last word,” he said, quite unable to control himself.
“Your mamma seems to have entirely forgotten that I made up my mind to take
you, so to speak, after the gossip of the town had spread all over the district in
regard to your reputation. Disregarding public opinion for your sake and
reinstating your reputation, I certainly might very well reckon on a fitting return,
and might indeed look for gratitude on your part. And my eyes have only now
been opened! I see myself that I may have acted very, very recklessly in
disregarding the universal verdict . . . .”

“Does the fellow want his head smashed?” cried Razumihin, jumping up.
“You are a mean and spiteful man!” cried Dounia.

“Not a word! Not a movement!” cried Raskolnikov, holding Razumihin back;

then going close up to Luzhin, “Kindly leave the room!” he said quietly and
distinctly, “and not a word more or …”

Pyotr Petrovitch gazed at him for some seconds with a pale face that worked
with anger, then he turned, went out, and rarely has any man carried away in his
heart such vindictive hatred as he felt against Raskolnikov. Him, and him alone,
he blamed for everything. It is noteworthy that as he went downstairs he still
imagined that his case was perhaps not utterly lost, and that, so far as the ladies
were concerned, all might “very well indeed” be set right again.
 CHAPTER III

The fact was that up to the last moment he had never expected such an ending; he
had been overbearing to the last degree, never dreaming that two destitute and
defenceless women could escape from his control. This conviction was
strengthened by his vanity and conceit, a conceit to the point of fatuity. Pyotr
Petrovitch, who had made his way up from insignificance, was morbidly given to
self-admiration, had the highest opinion of his intelligence and capacities, and
sometimes even gloated in solitude over his image in the glass. But what he loved
and valued above all was the money he had amassed by his labour, and by all sorts
of devices: that money made him the equal of all who had been his superiors.

When he had bitterly reminded Dounia that he had decided to take her in
spite of evil report, Pyotr Petrovitch had spoken with perfect sincerity and had,
indeed, felt genuinely indignant at such “black ingratitude.” And yet, when he
made Dounia his offer, he was fully aware of the groundlessness of all the gossip.
The story had been everywhere contradicted by Marfa Petrovna, and was by then
disbelieved by all the townspeople, who were warm in Dounia’a defence. And he
would not have denied that he knew all that at the time. Yet he still thought highly
of his own resolution in lifting Dounia to his level and regarded it as something
heroic. In speaking of it to Dounia, he had let out the secret feeling he cherished
and admired, and he could not understand that others should fail to admire it too.
He had called on Raskolnikov with the feelings of a benefactor who is about to
reap the fruits of his good deeds and to hear agreeable flattery. And as he went
downstairs now, he considered himself most undeservedly injured and
unrecognised.

Dounia was simply essential to him; to do without her was unthinkable. For
many years he had had voluptuous dreams of marriage, but he had gone on
waiting and amassing money. He brooded with relish, in profound secret, over the
image of a girl — virtuous, poor (she must be poor), very young, very pretty, of
good birth and education, very timid, one who had suffered much, and was
completely humbled before him, one who would all her life look on him as her
saviour, worship him, admire him and only him. How many scenes, how many
amorous episodes he had imagined on this seductive and playful theme, when his
work was over! And, behold, the dream of so many years was all but realised; the
beauty and education of Avdotya Romanovna had impressed him; her helpless
position had been a great allurement; in her he had found even more than he
dreamed of. Here was a girl of pride, character, virtue, of education and breeding
superior to his own (he felt that), and this creature would be slavishly grateful all
her life for his heroic condescension, and would humble herself in the dust before
him, and he would have absolute, unbounded power over her! . . . Not long before,
he had, too, after long reflection and hesitation, made an important change in his
career and was now entering on a wider circle of business. With this change his
cherished dreams of rising into a higher class of society seemed likely to be
realised. . . . He was, in fact, determined to try his fortune in Petersburg. He knew
that women could do a very great deal. The fascination of a charming, virtuous,
highly educated woman might make his way easier, might do wonders in
attracting people to him, throwing an aureole round him, and now everything was
in ruins! This sudden horrible rupture affected him like a clap of thunder; it was
like a hideous joke, an absurdity. He had only been a tiny bit masterful, had not
even time to speak out, had simply made a joke, been carried away — and it had
ended so seriously. And, of course, too, he did love Dounia in his own way; he
already possessed her in his dreams — and all at once! No! The next day, the very
next day, it must all be set right, smoothed over, settled. Above all he must crush
that conceited milksop who was the cause of it all. With a sick feeling he could not
help recalling Razumihin too, but, he soon reassured himself on that score; as
though a fellow like that could be put on a level with him! The man he really
dreaded in earnest was Svidrigaïlov. . . . He had, in short, a great deal to attend to
....
*****

“No, I, I am more to blame than anyone!” said Dounia, kissing and embracing
her mother. “I was tempted by his money, but on my honour, brother, I had no
idea he was such a base man. If I had seen through him before, nothing would
have tempted me! Don’t blame me, brother!”

“God has delivered us! God has delivered us!” Pulcheria Alexandrovna
muttered, but half consciously, as though scarcely able to realise what had
happened.

They were all relieved, and in five minutes they were laughing. Only now and
then Dounia turned white and frowned, remembering what had passed. Pulcheria
Alexandrovna was surprised to find that she, too, was glad: she had only that
morning thought rupture with Luzhin a terrible misfortune. Razumihin was
delighted. He did not yet dare to express his joy fully, but he was in a fever of
excitement as though a ton-weight had fallen off his heart. Now he had the right to
devote his life to them, to serve them. . . . Anything might happen now! But he felt
afraid to think of further possibilities and dared not let his imagination range. But
Raskolnikov sat still in the same place, almost sullen and indifferent. Though he
had been the most insistent on getting rid of Luzhin, he seemed now the least
concerned at what had happened. Dounia could not help thinking that he was still
angry with her, and Pulcheria Alexandrovna watched him timidly.

“What did Svidrigaïlov say to you?” said Dounia, approaching him.

“Yes, yes!” cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna.

Raskolnikov raised his head.

“He wants to make you a present of ten thousand roubles and he desires to
see you once in my presence.”

“See her! On no account!” cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna. “And how dare he

offer her money!”

Then Raskolnikov repeated (rather dryly) his conversation with Svidrigaïlov,

omitting his account of the ghostly visitations of Marfa Petrovna, wishing to avoid
all unnecessary talk.

“What answer did you give him?” asked Dounia.

“At first I said I would not take any message to you. Then he said that he
would do his utmost to obtain an interview with you without my help. He assured
me that his passion for you was a passing infatuation, now he has no feeling for
you. He doesn’t want you to marry Luzhin. . . . His talk was altogether rather
muddled.”

“How do you explain him to yourself, Rodya? How did he strike you?”
“I must confess I don’t quite understand him. He offers you ten thousand,
and yet says he is not well off. He says he is going away, and in ten minutes he
forgets he has said it. Then he says is he going to be married and has already fixed
on the girl. . . . No doubt he has a motive, and probably a bad one. But it’s odd that
he should be so clumsy about it if he had any designs against you. . . . Of course, I
refused this money on your account, once for all. Altogether, I thought him very
strange. . . . One might almost think he was mad. But I may be mistaken; that may
only be the part he assumes. The death of Marfa Petrovna seems to have made a
great impression on him.”

“God rest her soul,” exclaimed Pulcheria Alexandrovna. “I shall always,

always pray for her! Where should we be now, Dounia, without this three
thousand! It’s as though it had fallen from heaven! Why, Rodya, this morning we
had only three roubles in our pocket and Dounia and I were just planning to pawn
her watch, so as to avoid borrowing from that man until he offered help.”
Dounia seemed strangely impressed by Svidrigaïlov’s offer. She still stood
meditating.
“He has got some terrible plan,” she said in a half whisper to herself, almost
shuddering.

Raskolnikov noticed this disproportionate terror.

“I fancy I shall have to see him more than once again,” he said to Dounia.

“We will watch him! I will track him out!” cried Razumihin, vigorously. “I
won’t lose sight of him. Rodya has given me leave. He said to me himself just now.
‘Take care of my sister.’ Will you give me leave, too, Avdotya Romanovna?”
Dounia smiled and held out her hand, but the look of anxiety did not leave
her face. Pulcheria Alexandrovna gazed at her timidly, but the three thousand
roubles had obviously a soothing effect on her.
A quarter of an hour later, they were all engaged in a lively conversation. Even
Raskolnikov listened attentively for some time, though he did not talk. Razumihin
was the speaker.

“And why, why should you go away?” he flowed on ecstatically. “And what are
you to do in a little town? The great thing is, you are all here together and you
need one another — you do need one another, believe me. For a time, anyway. . . .
Take me into partnership, and I assure you we’ll plan a capital enterprise. Listen!
I’ll explain it all in detail to you, the whole project! It all flashed into my head this
morning, before anything had happened . . . I tell you what; I have an uncle, I
must introduce him to you (a most accommodating and respectable old man).
This uncle has got a capital of a thousand roubles, and he lives on his pension and
has no need of that money. For the last two years he has been bothering me to
borrow it from him and pay him six per cent. interest. I know what that means; he
simply wants to help me. Last year I had no need of it, but this year I resolved to
borrow it as soon as he arrived. Then you lend me another thousand of your three
and we have enough for a start, so we’ll go into partnership, and what are we going
to do?”

Then Razumihin began to unfold his project, and he explained at length that
almost all our publishers and booksellers know nothing at all of what they are
selling, and for that reason they are usually bad publishers, and that any decent
publications pay as a rule and give a profit, sometimes a considerable one.
Razumihin had, indeed, been dreaming of setting up as a publisher. For the last
two years he had been working in publishers’ offices, and knew three European
languages well, though he had told Raskolnikov six days before that he was
“schwach” in German with an object of persuading him to take half his translation
and half the payment for it. He had told a lie then, and Raskolnikov knew he was
lying.

“Why, why should we let our chance slip when we have one of the chief means
of success — money of our own!” cried Razumihin warmly. “Of course there will be
a lot of work, but we will work, you, Avdotya Romanovna, I, Rodion. . . . You get a
splendid profit on some books nowadays! And the great point of the business is
that we shall know just what wants translating, and we shall be translating,
publishing, learning all at once. I can be of use because I have experience. For
nearly two years I’ve been scuttling about among the publishers, and now I know
every detail of their business. You need not be a saint to make pots, believe me!
And why, why should we let our chance slip! Why, I know — and I kept the secret
— two or three books which one might get a hundred roubles simply for thinking
of translating and publishing. Indeed, and I would not take five hundred for the
very idea of one of them. And what do you think? If I were to tell a publisher, I
dare say he’d hesitate — they are such blockheads! And as for the business side,
printing, paper, selling, you trust to me, I know my way about. We’ll begin in a
small way and go on to a large. In any case it will get us our living and we shall get
back our capital.”
Dounia’s eyes shone.
“I like what you are saying, Dmitri Prokofitch!” she said.
 “I know nothing about it, of course,” put in Pulcheria Alexandrovna, “it may
be a good idea, but again God knows. It’s new and untried. Of course, we must
remain here at least for a time.” She looked at Rodya.
“What do you think, brother?” said Dounia.

“I think he’s got a very good idea,” he answered. “Of course, it’s too soon to
dream of a publishing firm, but we certainly might bring out five or six books and
be sure of success. I know of one book myself which would be sure to go well. And
as for his being able to manage it, there’s no doubt about that either. He knows the
business. . . . But we can talk it over later . . . .”
“Hurrah!” cried Razumihin. “Now, stay, there’s a flat here in this house,
belonging to the same owner. It’s a special flat apart, not communicating with
these lodgings. It’s furnished, rent moderate, three rooms. Suppose you take them
to begin with. I’ll pawn your watch to-morrow and bring you the money, and
everything can be arranged then. You can all three live together, and Rodya will be
with you. But where are you off to, Rodya?”

“What, Rodya, you are going already?” Pulcheria Alexandrovna asked in

dismay.

“At such a minute?” cried Razumihin.

Dounia looked at her brother with incredulous wonder. He held his cap in his
hand, he was preparing to leave them.

“One would think you were burying me or saying good-bye for ever,” he said
somewhat oddly. He attempted to smile, but it did not turn out a smile. “But who
knows, perhaps it is the last time we shall see each other …” he let slip
accidentally. It was what he was thinking, and it somehow was uttered aloud.

“What is the matter with you?” cried his mother.

“Where are you going, Rodya?” asked Dounia rather strangely.

“Oh, I’m quite obliged to …” he answered vaguely, as though hesitating what

he would say. But there was a look of sharp determination in his white face.
“I meant to say . . . as I was coming here . . . I meant to tell you, mother, and
you, Dounia, that it would be better for us to part for a time. I feel ill, I am not at
peace. . . . I will come afterwards, I will come of myself . . . when it’s possible. I
remember you and love you. . . . Leave me, leave me alone. I decided this even
before . . . I’m absolutely resolved on it. Whatever may come to me, whether I
come to ruin or not, I want to be alone. Forget me altogether, it’s better. Don’t
inquire about me. When I can, I’ll come of myself or . . . I’ll send for you. Perhaps
it will all come back, but now if you love me, give me up . . . else I shall begin to
hate you, I feel it. . . . Good-bye!”
“Good God!” cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna. Both his mother and his sister
were terribly alarmed. Razumihin was also.

“Rodya, Rodya, be reconciled with us! Let us be as before!” cried his poor
mother.

He turned slowly to the door and slowly went out of the room. Dounia
overtook him.

“Brother, what are you doing to mother?” she whispered, her eyes flashing
with indignation.

He looked dully at her.

“No matter, I shall come. . . . I’m coming,” he muttered in an undertone, as

though not fully conscious of what he was saying, and he went out of the room.
“Wicked, heartless egoist!” cried Dounia.

“He is insane, but not heartless. He is mad! Don’t you see it? You’re heartless
after that!” Razumihin whispered in her ear, squeezing her hand tightly. “I shall be
back directly,” he shouted to the horror-stricken mother, and he ran out of the
room.

Raskolnikov was waiting for him at the end of the passage.

“I knew you would run after me,” he said. “Go back to them — be with them
. . . be with them to-morrow and always . . . . I . . . perhaps I shall come . . . if I can.
Good-bye.”

And without holding out his hand he walked away.

“But where are you going? What are you doing? What’s the matter with you?
How can you go on like this?” Razumihin muttered, at his wits’ end.

Raskolnikov stopped once more.

“Once for all, never ask me about anything. I have nothing to tell you. Don’t
come to see me. Maybe I’ll come here . . . . Leave me, but don’t leave them. Do you
understand me?”

It was dark in the corridor, they were standing near the lamp. For a minute
they were looking at one another in silence. Razumihin remembered that minute
all his life. Raskolnikov’s burning and intent eyes grew more penetrating every
moment, piercing into his soul, into his consciousness. Suddenly Razumihin
started. Something strange, as it were, passed between them. . . . Some idea, some
hint, as it were, slipped, something awful, hideous, and suddenly understood on
both sides. . . . Razumihin turned pale.

“Do you understand now?” said Raskolnikov, his face twitching nervously.
“Go back, go to them,” he said suddenly, and turning quickly, he went out of the
house.
I will not attempt to describe how Razumihin went back to the ladies, how he
soothed them, how he protested that Rodya needed rest in his illness, protested
that Rodya was sure to come, that he would come every day, that he was very, very
much upset, that he must not be irritated, that he, Razumihin, would watch over
him, would get him a doctor, the best doctor, a consultation. . . . In fact from that
evening Razumihin took his place with them as a son and a brother.
 CHAPTER IV

Raskolnikov went straight to the house on the canal bank where Sonia lived. It
was an old green house of three storeys. He found the porter and obtained from
him vague directions as to the whereabouts of Kapernaumov, the tailor. Having
found in the corner of the courtyard the entrance to the dark and narrow staircase,
he mounted to the second floor and came out into a gallery that ran round the
whole second storey over the yard. While he was wandering in the darkness,
uncertain where to turn for Kapernaumov’s door, a door opened three paces from
him; he mechanically took hold of it.
“Who is there?” a woman’s voice asked uneasily.

“It’s I . . . come to see you,” answered Raskolnikov and he walked into the tiny
entry.

On a broken chair stood a candle in a battered copper candlestick.

“It’s you! Good heavens!” cried Sonia weakly, and she stood rooted to the
spot.

“Which is your room? This way?” and Raskolnikov, trying not to look at her,
hastened in.
A minute later Sonia, too, came in with the candle, set down the candlestick
and, completely disconcerted, stood before him inexpressibly agitated and
apparently frightened by his unexpected visit. The colour rushed suddenly to her
pale face and tears came into her eyes . . . She felt sick and ashamed and happy,
too. . . . Raskolnikov turned away quickly and sat on a chair by the table. He
scanned the room in a rapid glance.

It was a large but exceedingly low-pitched room, the only one let by the
Kapernaumovs, to whose rooms a closed door led in the wall on the left. In the
opposite side on the right hand wall was another door, always kept locked. That
led to the next flat, which formed a separate lodging. Sonia’s room looked like a
barn; it was a very irregular quadrangle and this gave it a grotesque appearance. A
wall with three windows looking out on to the canal ran aslant so that one corner
formed a very acute angle, and it was difficult to see in it without very strong light.
The other corner was disproportionately obtuse. There was scarcely any furniture
in the big room: in the corner on the right was a bedstead, beside it, nearest the
door, a chair. A plain, deal table covered by a blue cloth stood against the same
wall, close to the door into the other flat. Two rush-bottom chairs stood by the
table. On the opposite wall near the acute angle stood a small plain wooden chest
of drawers looking, as it were, lost in a desert. That was all there was in the room.
The yellow, scratched and shabby wall-paper was black in the corners. It must
have been damp and full of fumes in the winter. There was every sign of poverty;
even the bedstead had no curtain.

Sonia looked in silence at her visitor, who was so attentively and

unceremoniously scrutinising her room, and even began at last to tremble with
terror, as though she was standing before her judge and the arbiter of her
destinies.

“I am late. . . . It’s eleven, isn’t it?” he asked, still not lifting his eyes.
“Yes,” muttered Sonia, “oh yes, it is,” she added, hastily, as though in that lay
her means of escape. “My landlady’s clock has just struck . . . I heard it myself . . .
.”

“I’ve come to you for the last time,” Raskolnikov went on gloomily, although
this was the first time. “I may perhaps not see you again …”

“Are you . . . going away?”

“I don’t know . . . to-morrow . . . .”

“Then you are not coming to Katerina Ivanovna to-morrow?” Sonia’s voice
shook.

“I don’t know. I shall know to-morrow morning. . . . Never mind that: I’ve
come to say one word . . . .”

He raised his brooding eyes to her and suddenly noticed that he was sitting
down while she was all the while standing before him.

“Why are you standing? Sit down,” he said in a changed voice, gentle and
friendly.
She sat down. He looked kindly and almost compassionately at her.

“How thin you are! What a hand! Quite transparent, like a dead hand.”

He took her hand. Sonia smiled faintly.

 “I have always been like that,” she said.

“Even when you lived at home?”

“Yes.”

“Of course, you were,” he added abruptly and the expression of his face and
the sound of his voice changed again suddenly.

He looked round him once more.

“You rent this room from the Kapernaumovs?”

“Yes . . . .”

“They live there, through that door?”

“Yes. . . . They have another room like this.”

“All in one room?”

“Yes.”

“I should be afraid in your room at night,” he observed gloomily.

“They are very good people, very kind,” answered Sonia, who still seemed
bewildered, “and all the furniture, everything . . . everything is theirs. And they are
very kind and the children, too, often come to see me.”

“They all stammer, don’t they?”

“Yes. . . . He stammers and he’s lame. And his wife, too. . . . It’s not exactly
that she stammers, but she can’t speak plainly. She is a very kind woman. And he
used to be a house serf. And there are seven children . . . and it’s only the eldest
one that stammers and the others are simply ill . . . but they don’t stammer. . . .
But where did you hear about them?” she added with some surprise.

“Your father told me, then. He told me all about you. . . . And how you went
out at six o’clock and came back at nine and how Katerina Ivanovna knelt down by
your bed.”
Sonia was confused.
“I fancied I saw him to-day,” she whispered hesitatingly.

“Whom?”
“Father. I was walking in the street, out there at the corner, about ten o’clock
and he seemed to be walking in front. It looked just like him. I wanted to go to
Katerina Ivanovna . . . .”

“You were walking in the streets?”

“Yes,” Sonia whispered abruptly, again overcome with confusion and looking
down.

“Katerina Ivanovna used to beat you, I dare say?”

“Oh no, what are you saying? No!” Sonia looked at him almost with dismay.

“You love her, then?”

“Love her? Of course!” said Sonia with plaintive emphasis, and she clasped
her hands in distress. “Ah, you don’t . . . . If you only knew! You see, she is quite
like a child. . . . Her mind is quite unhinged, you see . . . from sorrow. And how
clever she used to be . . . how generous . . . how kind! Ah, you don’t understand,
you don’t understand!”
Sonia said this as though in despair, wringing her hands in excitement and
distress. Her pale cheeks flushed, there was a look of anguish in her eyes. It was
clear that she was stirred to the very depths, that she was longing to speak, to
champion, to express something. A sort of insatiable compassion, if one may so
express it, was reflected in every feature of her face.

“Beat me! how can you? Good heavens, beat me! And if she did beat me, what
then? What of it? You know nothing, nothing about it. . . . She is so unhappy . . .
ah, how unhappy! And ill. . . . She is seeking righteousness, she is pure. She has
such faith that there must be righteousness everywhere and she expects it. . . . And
if you were to torture her, she wouldn’t do wrong. She doesn’t see that it’s
impossible for people to be righteous and she is angry at it. Like a child, like a
child. She is good!”
“And what will happen to you?”

Sonia looked at him inquiringly.

“They are left on your hands, you see. They were all on your hands before,
though. . . . And your father came to you to beg for drink. Well, how will it be
now?”
“I don’t know,” Sonia articulated mournfully.
 “Will they stay there?”
“I don’t know. . . . They are in debt for the lodging, but the landlady, I hear,
said to-day that she wanted to get rid of them, and Katerina Ivanovna says that
she won’t stay another minute.”

“How is it she is so bold? She relies upon you?”

“Oh, no, don’t talk like that. . . . We are one, we live like one.” Sonia was
agitated again and even angry, as though a canary or some other little bird were to
be angry. “And what could she do? What, what could she do?” she persisted,
getting hot and excited. “And how she cried to-day! Her mind is unhinged, haven’t
you noticed it? At one minute she is worrying like a child that everything should
be right to-morrow, the lunch and all that. . . . Then she is wringing her hands,
spitting blood, weeping, and all at once she will begin knocking her head against
the wall, in despair. Then she will be comforted again. She builds all her hopes on
you; she says that you will help her now and that she will borrow a little money
somewhere and go to her native town with me and set up a boarding school for the
daughters of gentlemen and take me to superintend it, and we will begin a new
splendid life. And she kisses and hugs me, comforts me, and you know she has
such faith, such faith in her fancies! One can’t contradict her. And all the day long
she has been washing, cleaning, mending. She dragged the wash tub into the room
with her feeble hands and sank on the bed, gasping for breath. We went this
morning to the shops to buy shoes for Polenka and Lida for theirs are quite worn
out. Only the money we’d reckoned wasn’t enough, not nearly enough. And she
picked out such dear little boots, for she has taste, you don’t know. And there in
the shop she burst out crying before the shopmen because she hadn’t enough. . . .
Ah, it was sad to see her . . . .”
“Well, after that I can understand your living like this,” Raskolnikov said with
a bitter smile.
“And aren’t you sorry for them? Aren’t you sorry?” Sonia flew at him again.
“Why, I know, you gave your last penny yourself, though you’d seen nothing of it,
and if you’d seen everything, oh dear! And how often, how often I’ve brought her
to tears! Only last week! Yes, I! Only a week before his death. I was cruel! And how
often I’ve done it! Ah, I’ve been wretched at the thought of it all day!”

Sonia wrung her hands as she spoke at the pain of remembering it.
 “You were cruel?”
“Yes, I— I. I went to see them,” she went on, weeping, “and father said, ‘read
me something, Sonia, my head aches, read to me, here’s a book.’ He had a book he
had got from Andrey Semyonovitch Lebeziatnikov, he lives there, he always used
to get hold of such funny books. And I said, ‘I can’t stay,’ as I didn’t want to read,
and I’d gone in chiefly to show Katerina Ivanovna some collars. Lizaveta, the
pedlar, sold me some collars and cuffs cheap, pretty, new, embroidered ones.
Katerina Ivanovna liked them very much; she put them on and looked at herself in
the glass and was delighted with them. ‘Make me a present of them, Sonia,’ she
said, ‘please do.’ ‘Please do,’ she said, she wanted them so much. And when could
she wear them? They just reminded her of her old happy days. She looked at
herself in the glass, admired herself, and she has no clothes at all, no things of her
own, hasn’t had all these years! And she never asks anyone for anything; she is
proud, she’d sooner give away everything. And these she asked for, she liked them
so much. And I was sorry to give them. ‘What use are they to you, Katerina
Ivanovna?’ I said. I spoke like that to her, I ought not to have said that! She gave
me such a look. And she was so grieved, so grieved at my refusing her. And it was
so sad to see. . . . And she was not grieved for the collars, but for my refusing, I saw
that. Ah, if only I could bring it all back, change it, take back those words! Ah, if I
. . . but it’s nothing to you!”

“Did you know Lizaveta, the pedlar?”

“Yes. . . . Did you know her?” Sonia asked with some surprise.
“Katerina Ivanovna is in consumption, rapid consumption; she will soon die,”
said Raskolnikov after a pause, without answering her question.

“Oh, no, no, no!”

And Sonia unconsciously clutched both his hands, as though imploring that
she should not.

“But it will be better if she does die.”

“No, not better, not at all better!” Sonia unconsciously repeated in dismay.
“And the children? What can you do except take them to live with you?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” cried Sonia, almost in despair, and she put her hands to
her head.
 It was evident that that idea had very often occurred to her before and he had
only roused it again.

“And, what, if even now, while Katerina Ivanovna is alive, you get ill and are
taken to the hospital, what will happen then?” he persisted pitilessly.
“How can you? That cannot be!”

And Sonia’s face worked with awful terror.

“Cannot be?” Raskolnikov went on with a harsh smile. “You are not insured
against it, are you? What will happen to them then? They will be in the street, all
of them, she will cough and beg and knock her head against some wall, as she did
to-day, and the children will cry. . . . Then she will fall down, be taken to the police
station and to the hospital, she will die, and the children …”

“Oh, no. . . . God will not let it be!” broke at last from Sonia’s overburdened
bosom.

She listened, looking imploringly at him, clasping her hands in dumb

entreaty, as though it all depended upon him.
Raskolnikov got up and began to walk about the room. A minute passed.
Sonia was standing with her hands and her head hanging in terrible dejection.

“And can’t you save? Put by for a rainy day?” he asked, stopping suddenly
before her.
“No,” whispered Sonia.

“Of course not. Have you tried?” he added almost ironically.

“Yes.”
“And it didn’t come off! Of course not! No need to ask.”

And again he paced the room. Another minute passed.

“You don’t get money every day?”

Sonia was more confused than ever and colour rushed into her face again.

“No,” she whispered with a painful effort.

“It will be the same with Polenka, no doubt,” he said suddenly.

“No, no! It can’t be, no!” Sonia cried aloud in desperation, as though she had
been stabbed. “God would not allow anything so awful!”

“He lets others come to it.”

“No, no! God will protect her, God!” she repeated beside herself.

“But, perhaps, there is no God at all,” Raskolnikov answered with a sort of

malignance, laughed and looked at her.

Sonia’s face suddenly changed; a tremor passed over it. She looked at him
with unutterable reproach, tried to say something, but could not speak and broke
into bitter, bitter sobs, hiding her face in her hands.

“You say Katerina Ivanovna’s mind is unhinged; your own mind is unhinged,”
he said after a brief silence.
Five minutes passed. He still paced up and down the room in silence, not
looking at her. At last he went up to her; his eyes glittered. He put his two hands
on her shoulders and looked straight into her tearful face. His eyes were hard,
feverish and piercing, his lips were twitching. All at once he bent down quickly and
dropping to the ground, kissed her foot. Sonia drew back from him as from a
madman. And certainly he looked like a madman.

“What are you doing to me?” she muttered, turning pale, and a sudden
anguish clutched at her heart.
He stood up at once.

“I did not bow down to you, I bowed down to all the suffering of humanity,”
he said wildly and walked away to the window. “Listen,” he added, turning to her a
minute later. “I said just now to an insolent man that he was not worth your little
finger . . . and that I did my sister honour making her sit beside you.”

“Ach, you said that to them! And in her presence?” cried Sonia, frightened.
“Sit down with me! An honour! Why, I’m . . . dishonourable. . . . Ah, why did you
say that?”

“It was not because of your dishonour and your sin I said that of you, but
because of your great suffering. But you are a great sinner, that’s true,” he added
almost solemnly, “and your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed
yourself for nothing. Isn’t that fearful? Isn’t it fearful that you are living in this
filth which you loathe so, and at the same time you know yourself (you’ve only to
open your eyes) that you are not helping anyone by it, not saving anyone from
anything? Tell me,” he went on almost in a frenzy, “how this shame and
degradation can exist in you side by side with other, opposite, holy feelings? It
would be better, a thousand times better and wiser to leap into the water and end
it all!”

“But what would become of them?” Sonia asked faintly, gazing at him with
eyes of anguish, but not seeming surprised at his suggestion.

Raskolnikov looked strangely at her. He read it all in her face; so she must
have had that thought already, perhaps many times, and earnestly she had
thought out in her despair how to end it and so earnestly, that now she scarcely
wondered at his suggestion. She had not even noticed the cruelty of his words.
(The significance of his reproaches and his peculiar attitude to her shame she had,
of course, not noticed either, and that, too, was clear to him.) But he saw how
monstrously the thought of her disgraceful, shameful position was torturing her
and had long tortured her. “What, what,” he thought, “could hitherto have
hindered her from putting an end to it?” Only then he realised what those poor
little orphan children and that pitiful half-crazy Katerina Ivanovna, knocking her
head against the wall in her consumption, meant for Sonia.
But, nevertheless, it was clear to him again that with her character and the
amount of education she had after all received, she could not in any case remain
so. He was still confronted by the question, how could she have remained so long
in that position without going out of her mind, since she could not bring herself to
jump into the water? Of course he knew that Sonia’s position was an exceptional
case, though unhappily not unique and not infrequent, indeed; but that very
exceptionalness, her tinge of education, her previous life might, one would have
thought, have killed her at the first step on that revolting path. What held her up
— surely not depravity? All that infamy had obviously only touched her
mechanically, not one drop of real depravity had penetrated to her heart; he saw
that. He saw through her as she stood before him . . . .

“There are three ways before her,” he thought, “the canal, the madhouse, or
. . . at last to sink into depravity which obscures the mind and turns the heart to
stone.”

The last idea was the most revolting, but he was a sceptic, he was young,
abstract, and therefore cruel, and so he could not help believing that the last end
was the most likely.
 “But can that be true?” he cried to himself. “Can that creature who has still
preserved the purity of her spirit be consciously drawn at last into that sink of filth
and iniquity? Can the process already have begun? Can it be that she has only
been able to bear it till now, because vice has begun to be less loathsome to her?
No, no, that cannot be!” he cried, as Sonia had just before. “No, what has kept her
from the canal till now is the idea of sin and they, the children . . . . And if she has
not gone out of her mind . . . but who says she has not gone out of her mind? Is she
in her senses? Can one talk, can one reason as she does? How can she sit on the
edge of the abyss of loathsomeness into which she is slipping and refuse to listen
when she is told of danger? Does she expect a miracle? No doubt she does. Doesn’t
that all mean madness?”

He stayed obstinately at that thought. He liked that explanation indeed better

than any other. He began looking more intently at her.

“So you pray to God a great deal, Sonia?” he asked her.

Sonia did not speak; he stood beside her waiting for an answer.
“What should I be without God?” she whispered rapidly, forcibly, glancing at
him with suddenly flashing eyes, and squeezing his hand.

“Ah, so that is it!” he thought.

“And what does God do for you?” he asked, probing her further.
Sonia was silent a long while, as though she could not answer. Her weak chest
kept heaving with emotion.

“Be silent! Don’t ask! You don’t deserve!” she cried suddenly, looking sternly
and wrathfully at him.

“That’s it, that’s it,” he repeated to himself.

“He does everything,” she whispered quickly, looking down again.

“That’s the way out! That’s the explanation,” he decided, scrutinising her with
eager curiosity, with a new, strange, almost morbid feeling. He gazed at that pale,
thin, irregular, angular little face, those soft blue eyes, which could flash with such
fire, such stern energy, that little body still shaking with indignation and anger —
and it all seemed to him more and more strange, almost impossible. “She is a
religious maniac!” he repeated to himself.
 There was a book lying on the chest of drawers. He had noticed it every time
he paced up and down the room. Now he took it up and looked at it. It was the
New Testament in the Russian translation. It was bound in leather, old and worn.

“Where did you get that?” he called to her across the room.

She was still standing in the same place, three steps from the table.
“It was brought me,” she answered, as it were unwillingly, not looking at him.

“Who brought it?”

“Lizaveta, I asked her for it.”

“Lizaveta! strange!” he thought.

Everything about Sonia seemed to him stranger and more wonderful every
moment. He carried the book to the candle and began to turn over the pages.

“Where is the story of Lazarus?” he asked suddenly.

Sonia looked obstinately at the ground and would not answer. She was
standing sideways to the table.

“Where is the raising of Lazarus? Find it for me, Sonia.”

She stole a glance at him.

“You are not looking in the right place. . . . It’s in the fourth gospel,” she
whispered sternly, without looking at him.
“Find it and read it to me,” he said. He sat down with his elbow on the table,
leaned his head on his hand and looked away sullenly, prepared to listen.
“In three weeks’ time they’ll welcome me in the madhouse! I shall be there if I
am not in a worse place,” he muttered to himself.

Sonia heard Raskolnikov’s request distrustfully and moved hesitatingly to the

table. She took the book however.

“Haven’t you read it?” she asked, looking up at him across the table.

Her voice became sterner and sterner.

“Long ago. . . . When I was at school. Read!”

“And haven’t you heard it in church?”

“I . . . haven’t been. Do you often go?”

 “N-no,” whispered Sonia.

Raskolnikov smiled.
“I understand. . . . And you won’t go to your father’s funeral to-morrow?”

“Yes, I shall. I was at church last week, too . . . I had a requiem service.”

“For whom?”

“For Lizaveta. She was killed with an axe.”

His nerves were more and more strained. His head began to go round.

“Were you friends with Lizaveta?”

“Yes. . . . She was good . . . she used to come . . . not often . . . she couldn’t. . . .
We used to read together and . . . talk. She will see God.”

The last phrase sounded strange in his ears. And here was something new
again: the mysterious meetings with Lizaveta and both of them — religious
maniacs.

“I shall be a religious maniac myself soon! It’s infectious!”

“Read!” he cried irritably and insistently.

Sonia still hesitated. Her heart was throbbing. She hardly dared to read to
him. He looked almost with exasperation at the “unhappy lunatic.”

“What for? You don’t believe? …” she whispered softly and as it were
breathlessly.
“Read! I want you to,” he persisted. “You used to read to Lizaveta.”

Sonia opened the book and found the place. Her hands were shaking, her
voice failed her. Twice she tried to begin and could not bring out the first syllable.
“Now a certain man was sick named Lazarus of Bethany …” she forced herself
at last to read, but at the third word her voice broke like an overstrained string.
There was a catch in her breath.

Raskolnikov saw in part why Sonia could not bring herself to read to him and
the more he saw this, the more roughly and irritably he insisted on her doing so.
He understood only too well how painful it was for her to betray and unveil all that
was her own. He understood that these feelings really were her secret treasure,
which she had kept perhaps for years, perhaps from childhood, while she lived
with an unhappy father and a distracted stepmother crazed by grief, in the midst
of starving children and unseemly abuse and reproaches. But at the same time he
knew now and knew for certain that, although it filled her with dread and
suffering, yet she had a tormenting desire to read and to read to him that he might
hear it, and to read now whatever might come of it! . . . He read this in her eyes, he
could see it in her intense emotion. She mastered herself, controlled the spasm in
her throat and went on reading the eleventh chapter of St. John. She went on to
the nineteenth verse:

“And many of the Jews came to Martha and Mary to comfort them concerning
their brother.

“Then Martha as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming went and met Him:
but Mary sat still in the house.

“Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if Thou hadst been here, my brother had
not died.

“But I know that even now whatsoever Thou wilt ask of God, God will give it
Thee . . . .”
Then she stopped again with a shamefaced feeling that her voice would quiver
and break again.

“Jesus said unto her, thy brother shall rise again.

“Martha saith unto Him, I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection, at
the last day.

“Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection and the life: he that believeth in
Me though he were dead, yet shall he live.

“And whosoever liveth and believeth in Me shall never die. Believest thou
this?

“She saith unto Him,”

(And drawing a painful breath, Sonia read distinctly and forcibly as though
she were making a public confession of faith.)

“Yea, Lord: I believe that Thou art the Christ, the Son of God Which should
come into the world.”
She stopped and looked up quickly at him, but controlling herself went on
reading. Raskolnikov sat without moving, his elbows on the table and his eyes
turned away. She read to the thirty-second verse.

“Then when Mary was come where Jesus was and saw Him, she fell down at
His feet, saying unto Him, Lord if Thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.

“When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which
came with her, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled,

“And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto Him, Lord, come and see.

“Jesus wept.

“Then said the Jews, behold how He loved him!

“And some of them said, could not this Man which opened the eyes of the
blind, have caused that even this man should not have died?”

Raskolnikov turned and looked at her with emotion. Yes, he had known it!
She was trembling in a real physical fever. He had expected it. She was getting
near the story of the greatest miracle and a feeling of immense triumph came over
her. Her voice rang out like a bell; triumph and joy gave it power. The lines danced
before her eyes, but she knew what she was reading by heart. At the last verse
“Could not this Man which opened the eyes of the blind …” dropping her voice she
passionately reproduced the doubt, the reproach and censure of the blind
disbelieving Jews, who in another moment would fall at His feet as though struck
by thunder, sobbing and believing. . . . “And he, he — too, is blinded and
unbelieving, he, too, will hear, he, too, will believe, yes, yes! At once, now,” was
what she was dreaming, and she was quivering with happy anticipation.
“Jesus therefore again groaning in Himself cometh to the grave. It was a cave,
and a stone lay upon it.

“Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that was dead,
saith unto Him, Lord by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days.”

She laid emphasis on the word four.

“Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee that if thou wouldest believe, thou
shouldest see the glory of God?

“Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead was laid. And
Jesus lifted up His eyes and said, Father, I thank Thee that Thou hast heard Me.
 “And I knew that Thou hearest Me always; but because of the people which
stand by I said it, that they may believe that Thou hast sent Me.

“And when He thus had spoken, He cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come
forth.

“And he that was dead came forth.”

(She read loudly, cold and trembling with ecstasy, as though she were seeing
it before her eyes.)

“Bound hand and foot with graveclothes; and his face was bound about with a
napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him and let him go.

“Then many of the Jews which came to Mary and had seen the things which
Jesus did believed on Him.”

She could read no more, closed the book and got up from her chair quickly.
“That is all about the raising of Lazarus,” she whispered severely and
abruptly, and turning away she stood motionless, not daring to raise her eyes to
him. She still trembled feverishly. The candle-end was flickering out in the
battered candlestick, dimly lighting up in the poverty-stricken room the murderer
and the harlot who had so strangely been reading together the eternal book. Five
minutes or more passed.

“I came to speak of something,” Raskolnikov said aloud, frowning. He got up

and went to Sonia. She lifted her eyes to him in silence. His face was particularly
stern and there was a sort of savage determination in it.

“I have abandoned my family to-day,” he said, “my mother and sister. I am

not going to see them. I’ve broken with them completely.”

“What for?” asked Sonia amazed. Her recent meeting with his mother and
sister had left a great impression which she could not analyse. She heard his news
almost with horror.

“I have only you now,” he added. “Let us go together. . . . I’ve come to you, we
are both accursed, let us go our way together!”

His eyes glittered “as though he were mad,” Sonia thought, in her turn.

“Go where?” she asked in alarm and she involuntarily stepped back.
“How do I know? I only know it’s the same road, I know that and nothing
more. It’s the same goal!”

She looked at him and understood nothing. She knew only that he was
terribly, infinitely unhappy.

“No one of them will understand, if you tell them, but I have understood. I
need you, that is why I have come to you.”

“I don’t understand,” whispered Sonia.

“You’ll understand later. Haven’t you done the same? You, too, have
transgressed . . . have had the strength to transgress. You have laid hands on
yourself, you have destroyed a life . . . your own (it’s all the same!). You might
have lived in spirit and understanding, but you’ll end in the Hay Market. . . . But
you won’t be able to stand it, and if you remain alone you’ll go out of your mind
like me. You are like a mad creature already. So we must go together on the same
road! Let us go!”

“What for? What’s all this for?” said Sonia, strangely and violently agitated by
his words.
“What for? Because you can’t remain like this, that’s why! You must look
things straight in the face at last, and not weep like a child and cry that God won’t
allow it. What will happen, if you should really be taken to the hospital to-
morrow? She is mad and in consumption, she’ll soon die and the children? Do you
mean to tell me Polenka won’t come to grief? Haven’t you seen children here at
the street corners sent out by their mothers to beg? I’ve found out where those
mothers live and in what surroundings. Children can’t remain children there! At
seven the child is vicious and a thief. Yet children, you know, are the image of
Christ: ‘theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.’ He bade us honour and love them, they
are the humanity of the future . . . .”

“What’s to be done, what’s to be done?” repeated Sonia, weeping hysterically

and wringing her hands.

“What’s to be done? Break what must be broken, once for all, that’s all, and
take the suffering on oneself. What, you don’t understand? You’ll understand
later. . . . Freedom and power, and above all, power! Over all trembling creation
and all the ant-heap! . . . That’s the goal, remember that! That’s my farewell
message. Perhaps it’s the last time I shall speak to you. If I don’t come to-morrow,
you’ll hear of it all, and then remember these words. And some day later on, in
years to come, you’ll understand perhaps what they meant. If I come to-morrow,
I’ll tell you who killed Lizaveta . . . . Good-bye.”
Sonia started with terror.

“Why, do you know who killed her?” she asked, chilled with horror, looking
wildly at him.
“I know and will tell . . . you, only you. I have chosen you out. I’m not coming
to you to ask forgiveness, but simply to tell you. I chose you out long ago to hear
this, when your father talked of you and when Lizaveta was alive, I thought of it.
Good-bye, don’t shake hands. To-morrow!”
He went out. Sonia gazed at him as at a madman. But she herself was like one
insane and felt it. Her head was going round.

“Good heavens, how does he know who killed Lizaveta? What did those words
mean? It’s awful!” But at the same time the idea did not enter her head, not for a
moment! “Oh, he must be terribly unhappy! . . . He has abandoned his mother and
sister. . . . What for? What has happened? And what had he in his mind? What did
he say to her? He had kissed her foot and said . . . said (yes, he had said it clearly)
that he could not live without her. . . . Oh, merciful heavens!”
Sonia spent the whole night feverish and delirious. She jumped up from time
to time, wept and wrung her hands, then sank again into feverish sleep and
dreamt of Polenka, Katerina Ivanovna and Lizaveta, of reading the gospel and him
. . . him with pale face, with burning eyes . . . kissing her feet, weeping.
On the other side of the door on the right, which divided Sonia’s room from
Madame Resslich’s flat, was a room which had long stood empty. A card was fixed
on the gate and a notice stuck in the windows over the canal advertising it to let.
Sonia had long been accustomed to the room’s being uninhabited. But all that
time Mr. Svidrigaïlov had been standing, listening at the door of the empty room.
When Raskolnikov went out he stood still, thought a moment, went on tiptoe to
his own room which adjoined the empty one, brought a chair and noiselessly
carried it to the door that led to Sonia’s room. The conversation had struck him as
interesting and remarkable, and he had greatly enjoyed it — so much so that he
brought a chair that he might not in the future, to-morrow, for instance, have to
endure the inconvenience of standing a whole hour, but might listen in comfort.
 CHAPTER V

When next morning at eleven o’clock punctually Raskolnikov went into the
department of the investigation of criminal causes and sent his name in to Porfiry
Petrovitch, he was surprised at being kept waiting so long: it was at least ten
minutes before he was summoned. He had expected that they would pounce upon
him. But he stood in the waiting-room, and people, who apparently had nothing to
do with him, were continually passing to and fro before him. In the next room
which looked like an office, several clerks were sitting writing and obviously they
had no notion who or what Raskolnikov might be. He looked uneasily and
suspiciously about him to see whether there was not some guard, some mysterious
watch being kept on him to prevent his escape. But there was nothing of the sort:
he saw only the faces of clerks absorbed in petty details, then other people, no one
seemed to have any concern with him. He might go where he liked for them. The
conviction grew stronger in him that if that enigmatic man of yesterday, that
phantom sprung out of the earth, had seen everything, they would not have let
him stand and wait like that. And would they have waited till he elected to appear
at eleven? Either the man had not yet given information, or . . . or simply he knew
nothing, had seen nothing (and how could he have seen anything?) and so all that
had happened to him the day before was again a phantom exaggerated by his sick
and overstrained imagination. This conjecture had begun to grow strong the day
before, in the midst of all his alarm and despair. Thinking it all over now and
preparing for a fresh conflict, he was suddenly aware that he was trembling — and
he felt a rush of indignation at the thought that he was trembling with fear at
facing that hateful Porfiry Petrovitch. What he dreaded above all was meeting that
man again; he hated him with an intense, unmitigated hatred and was afraid his
hatred might betray him. His indignation was such that he ceased trembling at
once; he made ready to go in with a cold and arrogant bearing and vowed to
himself to keep as silent as possible, to watch and listen and for once at least to
control his overstrained nerves. At that moment he was summoned to Porfiry
Petrovitch.
He found Porfiry Petrovitch alone in his study. His study was a room neither
large nor small, furnished with a large writing-table, that stood before a sofa,
upholstered in checked material, a bureau, a bookcase in the corner and several
chairs — all government furniture, of polished yellow wood. In the further wall
there was a closed door, beyond it there were no doubt other rooms. On
Raskolnikov’s entrance Porfiry Petrovitch had at once closed the door by which he
had come in and they remained alone. He met his visitor with an apparently genial
and good-tempered air, and it was only after a few minutes that Raskolnikov saw
signs of a certain awkwardness in him, as though he had been thrown out of his
reckoning or caught in something very secret.
“Ah, my dear fellow! Here you are . . . in our domain” . . . began Porfiry,
holding out both hands to him. “Come, sit down, old man . . . or perhaps you don’t
like to be called ‘my dear fellow’ and ‘old man!’— tout court? Please don’t think it
too familiar. . . . Here, on the sofa.”

Raskolnikov sat down, keeping his eyes fixed on him. “In our domain,” the
apologies for familiarity, the French phrase tout court, were all characteristic
signs.
“He held out both hands to me, but he did not give me one — he drew it back
in time,” struck him suspiciously. Both were watching each other, but when their
eyes met, quick as lightning they looked away.

“I brought you this paper . . . about the watch. Here it is. Is it all right or shall
I copy it again?”

“What? A paper? Yes, yes, don’t be uneasy, it’s all right,” Porfiry Petrovitch
said as though in haste, and after he had said it he took the paper and looked at it.
“Yes, it’s all right. Nothing more is needed,” he declared with the same rapidity
and he laid the paper on the table.

A minute later when he was talking of something else he took it from the table
and put it on his bureau.

“I believe you said yesterday you would like to question me . . . formally . . .

about my acquaintance with the murdered woman?” Raskolnikov was beginning
again. “Why did I put in ‘I believe’” passed through his mind in a flash. “Why am I
so uneasy at having put in that ‘I believe‘?” came in a second flash. And he
suddenly felt that his uneasiness at the mere contact with Porfiry, at the first
words, at the first looks, had grown in an instant to monstrous proportions, and
that this was fearfully dangerous. His nerves were quivering, his emotion was
increasing. “It’s bad, it’s bad! I shall say too much again.”
 “Yes, yes, yes! There’s no hurry, there’s no hurry,” muttered Porfiry
Petrovitch, moving to and fro about the table without any apparent aim, as it were
making dashes towards the window, the bureau and the table, at one moment
avoiding Raskolnikov’s suspicious glance, then again standing still and looking
him straight in the face.

His fat round little figure looked very strange, like a ball rolling from one side
to the other and rebounding back.

“We’ve plenty of time. Do you smoke? have you your own? Here, a cigarette!”
he went on, offering his visitor a cigarette. “You know I am receiving you here, but
my own quarters are through there, you know, my government quarters. But I am
living outside for the time, I had to have some repairs done here. It’s almost
finished now. . . . Government quarters, you know, are a capital thing. Eh, what do
you think?”

“Yes, a capital thing,” answered Raskolnikov, looking at him almost ironically.

“A capital thing, a capital thing,” repeated Porfiry Petrovitch, as though he
had just thought of something quite different. “Yes, a capital thing,” he almost
shouted at last, suddenly staring at Raskolnikov and stopping short two steps
from him.
This stupid repetition was too incongruous in its ineptitude with the serious,
brooding and enigmatic glance he turned upon his visitor.

But this stirred Raskolnikov’s spleen more than ever and he could not resist
an ironical and rather incautious challenge.
“Tell me, please,” he asked suddenly, looking almost insolently at him and
taking a kind of pleasure in his own insolence. “I believe it’s a sort of legal rule, a
sort of legal tradition — for all investigating lawyers — to begin their attack from
afar, with a trivial, or at least an irrelevant subject, so as to encourage, or rather, to
divert the man they are cross-examining, to disarm his caution and then all at
once to give him an unexpected knock-down blow with some fatal question. Isn’t
that so? It’s a sacred tradition, mentioned, I fancy, in all the manuals of the art?”
“Yes, yes. . . . Why, do you imagine that was why I spoke about government
quarters . . . eh?”
And as he said this Porfiry Petrovitch screwed up his eyes and winked; a
good-humoured, crafty look passed over his face. The wrinkles on his forehead
were smoothed out, his eyes contracted, his features broadened and he suddenly
went off into a nervous prolonged laugh, shaking all over and looking Raskolnikov
straight in the face. The latter forced himself to laugh, too, but when Porfiry,
seeing that he was laughing, broke into such a guffaw that he turned almost
crimson, Raskolnikov’s repulsion overcame all precaution; he left off laughing,
scowled and stared with hatred at Porfiry, keeping his eyes fixed on him while his
intentionally prolonged laughter lasted. There was lack of precaution on both
sides, however, for Porfiry Petrovitch seemed to be laughing in his visitor’s face
and to be very little disturbed at the annoyance with which the visitor received it.
The latter fact was very significant in Raskolnikov’s eyes: he saw that Porfiry
Petrovitch had not been embarrassed just before either, but that he, Raskolnikov,
had perhaps fallen into a trap; that there must be something, some motive here
unknown to him; that, perhaps, everything was in readiness and in another
moment would break upon him …
He went straight to the point at once, rose from his seat and took his cap.

“Porfiry Petrovitch,” he began resolutely, though with considerable irritation,

“yesterday you expressed a desire that I should come to you for some inquiries”
(he laid special stress on the word “inquiries”). “I have come and if you have
anything to ask me, ask it, and if not, allow me to withdraw. I have no time to
spare. . . . I have to be at the funeral of that man who was run over, of whom you
. . . know also,” he added, feeling angry at once at having made this addition and
more irritated at his anger. “I am sick of it all, do you hear? and have long been.
It’s partly what made me ill. In short,” he shouted, feeling that the phrase about
his illness was still more out of place, “in short, kindly examine me or let me go, at
once. And if you must examine me, do so in the proper form! I will not allow you
to do so otherwise, and so meanwhile, good-bye, as we have evidently nothing to
keep us now.”

“Good heavens! What do you mean? What shall I question you about?”
cackled Porfiry Petrovitch with a change of tone, instantly leaving off laughing.
“Please don’t disturb yourself,” he began fidgeting from place to place and fussily
making Raskolnikov sit down. “There’s no hurry, there’s no hurry, it’s all
nonsense. Oh, no, I’m very glad you’ve come to see me at last . . . I look upon you
simply as a visitor. And as for my confounded laughter, please excuse it, Rodion
Romanovitch. Rodion Romanovitch? That is your name? . . . It’s my nerves, you
tickled me so with your witty observation; I assure you, sometimes I shake with
laughter like an india-rubber ball for half an hour at a time. . . . I’m often afraid of
an attack of paralysis. Do sit down. Please do, or I shall think you are angry …”

Raskolnikov did not speak; he listened, watching him, still frowning angrily.
He did sit down, but still held his cap.

“I must tell you one thing about myself, my dear Rodion Romanovitch,”
Porfiry Petrovitch continued, moving about the room and again avoiding his
visitor’s eyes. “You see, I’m a bachelor, a man of no consequence and not used to
society; besides, I have nothing before me, I’m set, I’m running to seed and . . .
and have you noticed, Rodion Romanovitch, that in our Petersburg circles, if two
clever men meet who are not intimate, but respect each other, like you and me, it
takes them half an hour before they can find a subject for conversation — they are
dumb, they sit opposite each other and feel awkward. Everyone has subjects of
conversation, ladies for instance . . . people in high society always have their
subjects of conversation, c’est de rigueur, but people of the middle sort like us,
thinking people that is, are always tongue-tied and awkward. What is the reason of
it? Whether it is the lack of public interest, or whether it is we are so honest we
don’t want to deceive one another, I don’t know. What do you think? Do put down
your cap, it looks as if you were just going, it makes me uncomfortable . . . I am so
delighted …”
Raskolnikov put down his cap and continued listening in silence with a
serious frowning face to the vague and empty chatter of Porfiry Petrovitch. “Does
he really want to distract my attention with his silly babble?”

“I can’t offer you coffee here; but why not spend five minutes with a friend?”
Porfiry pattered on, “and you know all these official duties . . . please don’t mind
my running up and down, excuse it, my dear fellow, I am very much afraid of
offending you, but exercise is absolutely indispensable for me. I’m always sitting
and so glad to be moving about for five minutes . . . I suffer from my sedentary life
. . . I always intend to join a gymnasium; they say that officials of all ranks, even
Privy Councillors, may be seen skipping gaily there; there you have it, modern
science . . . yes, yes. . . . But as for my duties here, inquiries and all such formalities
. . . you mentioned inquiries yourself just now . . . I assure you these interrogations
are sometimes more embarrassing for the interrogator than for the interrogated.
. . . You made the observation yourself just now very aptly and wittily.”
(Raskolnikov had made no observation of the kind.) “One gets into a muddle! A
regular muddle! One keeps harping on the same note, like a drum! There is to be a
reform and we shall be called by a different name, at least, he-he-he! And as for
our legal tradition, as you so wittily called it, I thoroughly agree with you. Every
prisoner on trial, even the rudest peasant, knows that they begin by disarming him
with irrelevant questions (as you so happily put it) and then deal him a knock-
down blow, he-he-he! — your felicitous comparison, he-he! So you really imagined
that I meant by ‘government quarters’ . . . he-he! You are an ironical person.
Come. I won’t go on! Ah, by the way, yes! One word leads to another. You spoke of
formality just now, apropos of the inquiry, you know. But what’s the use of
formality? In many cases it’s nonsense. Sometimes one has a friendly chat and
gets a good deal more out of it. One can always fall back on formality, allow me to
assure you. And after all, what does it amount to? An examining lawyer cannot be
bounded by formality at every step. The work of investigation is, so to speak, a free
art in its own way, he-he-he!”

Porfiry Petrovitch took breath a moment. He had simply babbled on uttering

empty phrases, letting slip a few enigmatic words and again reverting to
incoherence. He was almost running about the room, moving his fat little legs
quicker and quicker, looking at the ground, with his right hand behind his back,
while with his left making gesticulations that were extraordinarily incongruous
with his words. Raskolnikov suddenly noticed that as he ran about the room he
seemed twice to stop for a moment near the door, as though he were listening.
“Is he expecting anything?”

“You are certainly quite right about it,” Porfiry began gaily, looking with
extraordinary simplicity at Raskolnikov (which startled him and instantly put him
on his guard); “certainly quite right in laughing so wittily at our legal forms, he-he!
Some of these elaborate psychological methods are exceedingly ridiculous and
perhaps useless, if one adheres too closely to the forms. Yes . . . I am talking of
forms again. Well, if I recognise, or more strictly speaking, if I suspect someone or
other to be a criminal in any case entrusted to me . . . you’re reading for the law, of
course, Rodion Romanovitch?”

“Yes, I was …”

“Well, then it is a precedent for you for the future — though don’t suppose I
should venture to instruct you after the articles you publish about crime! No, I
simply make bold to state it by way of fact, if I took this man or that for a criminal,
why, I ask, should I worry him prematurely, even though I had evidence against
him? In one case I may be bound, for instance, to arrest a man at once, but
another may be in quite a different position, you know, so why shouldn’t I let him
walk about the town a bit? he-he-he! But I see you don’t quite understand, so I’ll
give you a clearer example. If I put him in prison too soon, I may very likely give
him, so to speak, moral support, he-he! You’re laughing?”

Raskolnikov had no idea of laughing. He was sitting with compressed lips, his
feverish eyes fixed on Porfiry Petrovitch’s.

“Yet that is the case, with some types especially, for men are so different. You
say ‘evidence’. Well, there may be evidence. But evidence, you know, can generally
be taken two ways. I am an examining lawyer and a weak man, I confess it. I
should like to make a proof, so to say, mathematically clear. I should like to make
a chain of evidence such as twice two are four, it ought to be a direct, irrefutable
proof! And if I shut him up too soon — even though I might be convinced he was
the man, I should very likely be depriving myself of the means of getting further
evidence against him. And how? By giving him, so to speak, a definite position, I
shall put him out of suspense and set his mind at rest, so that he will retreat into
his shell. They say that at Sevastopol, soon after Alma, the clever people were in a
terrible fright that the enemy would attack openly and take Sevastopol at once.
But when they saw that the enemy preferred a regular siege, they were delighted, I
am told and reassured, for the thing would drag on for two months at least. You’re
laughing, you don’t believe me again? Of course, you’re right, too. You’re right,
you’re right. These are special cases, I admit. But you must observe this, my dear
Rodion Romanovitch, the general case, the case for which all legal forms and rules
are intended, for which they are calculated and laid down in books, does not exist
at all, for the reason that every case, every crime, for instance, so soon as it
actually occurs, at once becomes a thoroughly special case and sometimes a case
unlike any that’s gone before. Very comic cases of that sort sometimes occur. If I
leave one man quite alone, if I don’t touch him and don’t worry him, but let him
know or at least suspect every moment that I know all about it and am watching
him day and night, and if he is in continual suspicion and terror, he’ll be bound to
lose his head. He’ll come of himself, or maybe do something which will make it as
plain as twice two are four — it’s delightful. It may be so with a simple peasant, but
with one of our sort, an intelligent man cultivated on a certain side, it’s a dead
certainty. For, my dear fellow, it’s a very important matter to know on what side a
man is cultivated. And then there are nerves, there are nerves, you have
overlooked them! Why, they are all sick, nervous and irritable! . . . And then how
they all suffer from spleen! That I assure you is a regular gold-mine for us. And it’s
no anxiety to me, his running about the town free! Let him, let him walk about for
a bit! I know well enough that I’ve caught him and that he won’t escape me. Where
could he escape to, he-he? Abroad, perhaps? A Pole will escape abroad, but not
here, especially as I am watching and have taken measures. Will he escape into the
depths of the country perhaps? But you know, peasants live there, real rude
Russian peasants. A modern cultivated man would prefer prison to living with
such strangers as our peasants. He-he! But that’s all nonsense, and on the surface.
It’s not merely that he has nowhere to run to, he is psychologically unable to
escape me, he-he! What an expression! Through a law of nature he can’t escape
me if he had anywhere to go. Have you seen a butterfly round a candle? That’s
how he will keep circling and circling round me. Freedom will lose its attractions.
He’ll begin to brood, he’ll weave a tangle round himself, he’ll worry himself to
death! What’s more he will provide me with a mathematical proof — if I only give
him long enough interval. . . . And he’ll keep circling round me, getting nearer and
nearer and then — flop! He’ll fly straight into my mouth and I’ll swallow him, and
that will be very amusing, he-he-he! You don’t believe me?”

Raskolnikov made no reply; he sat pale and motionless, still gazing with the
same intensity into Porfiry’s face.
“It’s a lesson,” he thought, turning cold. “This is beyond the cat playing with a
mouse, like yesterday. He can’t be showing off his power with no motive . . .
prompting me; he is far too clever for that . . . he must have another object. What
is it? It’s all nonsense, my friend, you are pretending, to scare me! You’ve no
proofs and the man I saw had no real existence. You simply want to make me lose
my head, to work me up beforehand and so to crush me. But you are wrong, you
won’t do it! But why give me such a hint? Is he reckoning on my shattered nerves?
No, my friend, you are wrong, you won’t do it even though you have some trap for
me . . . let us see what you have in store for me.”
And he braced himself to face a terrible and unknown ordeal. At times he
longed to fall on Porfiry and strangle him. This anger was what he dreaded from
the beginning. He felt that his parched lips were flecked with foam, his heart was
throbbing. But he was still determined not to speak till the right moment. He
realised that this was the best policy in his position, because instead of saying too
much he would be irritating his enemy by his silence and provoking him into
speaking too freely. Anyhow, this was what he hoped for.
“No, I see you don’t believe me, you think I am playing a harmless joke on
you,” Porfiry began again, getting more and more lively, chuckling at every instant
and again pacing round the room. “And to be sure you’re right: God has given me
a figure that can awaken none but comic ideas in other people; a buffoon; but let
me tell you, and I repeat it, excuse an old man, my dear Rodion Romanovitch, you
are a man still young, so to say, in your first youth and so you put intellect above
everything, like all young people. Playful wit and abstract arguments fascinate you
and that’s for all the world like the old Austrian Hof-kriegsrath, as far as I can
judge of military matters, that is: on paper they’d beaten Napoleon and taken him
prisoner, and there in their study they worked it all out in the cleverest fashion,
but look you, General Mack surrendered with all his army, he-he-he! I see, I see,
Rodion Romanovitch, you are laughing at a civilian like me, taking examples out
of military history! But I can’t help it, it’s my weakness. I am fond of military
science. And I’m ever so fond of reading all military histories. I’ve certainly missed
my proper career. I ought to have been in the army, upon my word I ought. I
shouldn’t have been a Napoleon, but I might have been a major, he-he! Well, I’ll
tell you the whole truth, my dear fellow, about this special case, I mean: actual
fact and a man’s temperament, my dear sir, are weighty matters and it’s
astonishing how they sometimes deceive the sharpest calculation! I— listen to an
old man — am speaking seriously, Rodion Romanovitch” (as he said this Porfiry
Petrovitch, who was scarcely five-and-thirty, actually seemed to have grown old;
even his voice changed and he seemed to shrink together) “Moreover, I’m a candid
man . . . am I a candid man or not? What do you say? I fancy I really am: I tell you
these things for nothing and don’t even expect a reward for it, he-he! Well, to
proceed, wit in my opinion is a splendid thing, it is, so to say, an adornment of
nature and a consolation of life, and what tricks it can play! So that it sometimes is
hard for a poor examining lawyer to know where he is, especially when he’s liable
to be carried away by his own fancy, too, for you know he is a man after all! But
the poor fellow is saved by the criminal’s temperament, worse luck for him! But
young people carried away by their own wit don’t think of that ‘when they overstep
all obstacles,’ as you wittily and cleverly expressed it yesterday. He will lie — that
is, the man who is a special case, the incognito, and he will lie well, in the cleverest
fashion; you might think he would triumph and enjoy the fruits of his wit, but at
the most interesting, the most flagrant moment he will faint. Of course there may
be illness and a stuffy room as well, but anyway! Anyway he’s given us the idea! He
lied incomparably, but he didn’t reckon on his temperament. That’s what betrays
him! Another time he will be carried away by his playful wit into making fun of the
man who suspects him, he will turn pale as it were on purpose to mislead, but his
paleness will be too natural, too much like the real thing, again he has given us an
idea! Though his questioner may be deceived at first, he will think differently next
day if he is not a fool, and, of course, it is like that at every step! He puts himself
forward where he is not wanted, speaks continually when he ought to keep silent,
brings in all sorts of allegorical allusions, he-he! Comes and asks why didn’t you
take me long ago? he-he-he! And that can happen, you know, with the cleverest
man, the psychologist, the literary man. The temperament reflects everything like
a mirror! Gaze into it and admire what you see! But why are you so pale, Rodion
Romanovitch? Is the room stuffy? Shall I open the window?”

“Oh, don’t trouble, please,” cried Raskolnikov and he suddenly broke into a
laugh. “Please don’t trouble.”

Porfiry stood facing him, paused a moment and suddenly he too laughed.
Raskolnikov got up from the sofa, abruptly checking his hysterical laughter.

“Porfiry Petrovitch,” he began, speaking loudly and distinctly, though his legs
trembled and he could scarcely stand. “I see clearly at last that you actually
suspect me of murdering that old woman and her sister Lizaveta. Let me tell you
for my part that I am sick of this. If you find that you have a right to prosecute me
legally, to arrest me, then prosecute me, arrest me. But I will not let myself be
jeered at to my face and worried …”

His lips trembled, his eyes glowed with fury and he could not restrain his
voice.

“I won’t allow it!” he shouted, bringing his fist down on the table. “Do you
hear that, Porfiry Petrovitch? I won’t allow it.”
“Good heavens! What does it mean?” cried Porfiry Petrovitch, apparently
quite frightened. “Rodion Romanovitch, my dear fellow, what is the matter with
you?”

“I won’t allow it,” Raskolnikov shouted again.

“Hush, my dear man! They’ll hear and come in. Just think, what could we say
to them?” Porfiry Petrovitch whispered in horror, bringing his face close to
Raskolnikov’s.
“I won’t allow it, I won’t allow it,” Raskolnikov repeated mechanically, but he
too spoke in a sudden whisper.

Porfiry turned quickly and ran to open the window.

“Some fresh air! And you must have some water, my dear fellow. You’re ill!”
and he was running to the door to call for some when he found a decanter of water
in the corner. “Come, drink a little,” he whispered, rushing up to him with the
decanter. “It will be sure to do you good.”

Porfiry Petrovitch’s alarm and sympathy were so natural that Raskolnikov

was silent and began looking at him with wild curiosity. He did not take the water,
however.

“Rodion Romanovitch, my dear fellow, you’ll drive yourself out of your mind,
I assure you, ach, ach! Have some water, do drink a little.”

He forced him to take the glass. Raskolnikov raised it mechanically to his lips,
but set it on the table again with disgust.

“Yes, you’ve had a little attack! You’ll bring back your illness again, my dear
fellow,” Porfiry Petrovitch cackled with friendly sympathy, though he still looked
rather disconcerted. “Good heavens, you must take more care of yourself! Dmitri
Prokofitch was here, came to see me yesterday — I know, I know, I’ve a nasty,
ironical temper, but what they made of it! . . . Good heavens, he came yesterday
after you’d been. We dined and he talked and talked away, and I could only throw
up my hands in despair! Did he come from you? But do sit down, for mercy’s sake,
sit down!”

“No, not from me, but I knew he went to you and why he went,” Raskolnikov
answered sharply.

“You knew?”
“I knew. What of it?”
 “Why this, Rodion Romanovitch, that I know more than that about you; I
know about everything. I know how you went to take a flat at night when it was
dark and how you rang the bell and asked about the blood, so that the workmen
and the porter did not know what to make of it. Yes, I understand your state of
mind at that time . . . but you’ll drive yourself mad like that, upon my word! You’ll
lose your head! You’re full of generous indignation at the wrongs you’ve received,
first from destiny, and then from the police officers, and so you rush from one
thing to another to force them to speak out and make an end of it all, because you
are sick of all this suspicion and foolishness. That’s so, isn’t it? I have guessed how
you feel, haven’t I? Only in that way you’ll lose your head and Razumihin’s, too;
he’s too good a man for such a position, you must know that. You are ill and he is
good and your illness is infectious for him . . . I’ll tell you about it when you are
more yourself. . . . But do sit down, for goodness’ sake. Please rest, you look
shocking, do sit down.”

Raskolnikov sat down; he no longer shivered, he was hot all over. In

amazement he listened with strained attention to Porfiry Petrovitch who still
seemed frightened as he looked after him with friendly solicitude. But he did not
believe a word he said, though he felt a strange inclination to believe. Porfiry’s
unexpected words about the flat had utterly overwhelmed him. “How can it be, he
knows about the flat then,” he thought suddenly, “and he tells it me himself!”

“Yes, in our legal practice there was a case almost exactly similar, a case of
morbid psychology,” Porfiry went on quickly. “A man confessed to murder and
how he kept it up! It was a regular hallucination; he brought forward facts, he
imposed upon everyone and why? He had been partly, but only partly,
unintentionally the cause of a murder and when he knew that he had given the
murderers the opportunity, he sank into dejection, it got on his mind and turned
his brain, he began imagining things and he persuaded himself that he was the
murderer. But at last the High Court of Appeal went into it and the poor fellow
was acquitted and put under proper care. Thanks to the Court of Appeal! Tut-tut-
tut! Why, my dear fellow, you may drive yourself into delirium if you have the
impulse to work upon your nerves, to go ringing bells at night and asking about
blood! I’ve studied all this morbid psychology in my practice. A man is sometimes
tempted to jump out of a window or from a belfry. Just the same with bell-ringing.
. . . It’s all illness, Rodion Romanovitch! You have begun to neglect your illness.
You should consult an experienced doctor, what’s the good of that fat fellow? You
are lightheaded! You were delirious when you did all this!”

For a moment Raskolnikov felt everything going round.

“Is it possible, is it possible,” flashed through his mind, “that he is still lying?
He can’t be, he can’t be.” He rejected that idea, feeling to what a degree of fury it
might drive him, feeling that that fury might drive him mad.

“I was not delirious. I knew what I was doing,” he cried, straining every
faculty to penetrate Porfiry’s game, “I was quite myself, do you hear?”

“Yes, I hear and understand. You said yesterday you were not delirious, you
were particularly emphatic about it! I understand all you can tell me! A-ach! . . .
Listen, Rodion Romanovitch, my dear fellow. If you were actually a criminal, or
were somehow mixed up in this damnable business, would you insist that you
were not delirious but in full possession of your faculties? And so emphatically
and persistently? Would it be possible? Quite impossible, to my thinking. If you
had anything on your conscience, you certainly ought to insist that you were
delirious. That’s so, isn’t it?”

There was a note of slyness in this inquiry. Raskolnikov drew back on the sofa
as Porfiry bent over him and stared in silent perplexity at him.

“Another thing about Razumihin — you certainly ought to have said that he
came of his own accord, to have concealed your part in it! But you don’t conceal it!
You lay stress on his coming at your instigation.”

Raskolnikov had not done so. A chill went down his back.

“You keep telling lies,” he said slowly and weakly, twisting his lips into a
sickly smile, “you are trying again to show that you know all my game, that you
know all I shall say beforehand,” he said, conscious himself that he was not
weighing his words as he ought. “You want to frighten me . . . or you are simply
laughing at me …”

He still stared at him as he said this and again there was a light of intense
hatred in his eyes.

“You keep lying,” he said. “You know perfectly well that the best policy for the
criminal is to tell the truth as nearly as possible . . . to conceal as little as possible.
I don’t believe you!”

“What a wily person you are!” Porfiry tittered, “there’s no catching you;
you’ve a perfect monomania. So you don’t believe me? But still you do believe me,
you believe a quarter; I’ll soon make you believe the whole, because I have a
sincere liking for you and genuinely wish you good.”

Raskolnikov’s lips trembled.

“Yes, I do,” went on Porfiry, touching Raskolnikov’s arm genially, “you must
take care of your illness. Besides, your mother and sister are here now; you must
think of them. You must soothe and comfort them and you do nothing but frighten
them …”

“What has that to do with you? How do you know it? What concern is it of
yours? You are keeping watch on me and want to let me know it?”

“Good heavens! Why, I learnt it all from you yourself! You don’t notice that in
your excitement you tell me and others everything. From Razumihin, too, I learnt
a number of interesting details yesterday. No, you interrupted me, but I must tell
you that, for all your wit, your suspiciousness makes you lose the common-sense
view of things. To return to bell-ringing, for instance. I, an examining lawyer, have
betrayed a precious thing like that, a real fact (for it is a fact worth having), and
you see nothing in it! Why, if I had the slightest suspicion of you, should I have
acted like that? No, I should first have disarmed your suspicions and not let you
see I knew of that fact, should have diverted your attention and suddenly have
dealt you a knock-down blow (your expression) saying: ‘And what were you doing,
sir, pray, at ten or nearly eleven at the murdered woman’s flat and why did you
ring the bell and why did you ask about blood? And why did you invite the porters
to go with you to the police station, to the lieutenant?’ That’s how I ought to have
acted if I had a grain of suspicion of you. I ought to have taken your evidence in
due form, searched your lodging and perhaps have arrested you, too . . . so I have
no suspicion of you, since I have not done that! But you can’t look at it normally
and you see nothing, I say again.”

Raskolnikov started so that Porfiry Petrovitch could not fail to perceive it.

“You are lying all the while,” he cried, “I don’t know your object, but you are
lying. You did not speak like that just now and I cannot be mistaken!”

“I am lying?” Porfiry repeated, apparently incensed, but preserving a good-

humoured and ironical face, as though he were not in the least concerned at
Raskolnikov’s opinion of him. “I am lying . . . but how did I treat you just now, I,
the examining lawyer? Prompting you and giving you every means for your
defence; illness, I said, delirium, injury, melancholy and the police officers and all
the rest of it? Ah! He-he-he! Though, indeed, all those psychological means of
defence are not very reliable and cut both ways: illness, delirium, I don’t
remember — that’s all right, but why, my good sir, in your illness and in your
delirium were you haunted by just those delusions and not by any others? There
may have been others, eh? He-he-he!”

Raskolnikov looked haughtily and contemptuously at him.

“Briefly,” he said loudly and imperiously, rising to his feet and in so doing
pushing Porfiry back a little, “briefly, I want to know, do you acknowledge me
perfectly free from suspicion or not? Tell me, Porfiry Petrovitch, tell me once for
all and make haste!”

“What a business I’m having with you!” cried Porfiry with a perfectly good-
humoured, sly and composed face. “And why do you want to know, why do you
want to know so much, since they haven’t begun to worry you? Why, you are like a
child asking for matches! And why are you so uneasy? Why do you force yourself
upon us, eh? He-he-he!”

“I repeat,” Raskolnikov cried furiously, “that I can’t put up with it!”

“With what? Uncertainty?” interrupted Porfiry.

“Don’t jeer at me! I won’t have it! I tell you I won’t have it. I can’t and I won’t,
do you hear, do you hear?” he shouted, bringing his fist down on the table again.

“Hush! Hush! They’ll overhear! I warn you seriously, take care of yourself. I
am not joking,” Porfiry whispered, but this time there was not the look of old
womanish good nature and alarm in his face. Now he was peremptory, stern,
frowning and for once laying aside all mystification.

But this was only for an instant. Raskolnikov, bewildered, suddenly fell into
actual frenzy, but, strange to say, he again obeyed the command to speak quietly,
though he was in a perfect paroxysm of fury.
“I will not allow myself to be tortured,” he whispered, instantly recognising
with hatred that he could not help obeying the command and driven to even
greater fury by the thought. “Arrest me, search me, but kindly act in due form and
don’t play with me! Don’t dare!”
 “Don’t worry about the form,” Porfiry interrupted with the same sly smile, as
it were, gloating with enjoyment over Raskolnikov. “I invited you to see me quite
in a friendly way.”
“I don’t want your friendship and I spit on it! Do you hear? And, here, I take
my cap and go. What will you say now if you mean to arrest me?”

He took up his cap and went to the door.

“And won’t you see my little surprise?” chuckled Porfiry, again taking him by
the arm and stopping him at the door.

He seemed to become more playful and good-humoured which maddened

Raskolnikov.

“What surprise?” he asked, standing still and looking at Porfiry in alarm.

“My little surprise, it’s sitting there behind the door, he-he-he!” (He pointed
to the locked door.) “I locked him in that he should not escape.”

“What is it? Where? What? …”

Raskolnikov walked to the door and would have opened it, but it was locked.

“It’s locked, here is the key!”

And he brought a key out of his pocket.

“You are lying,” roared Raskolnikov without restraint, “you lie, you damned
punchinello!” and he rushed at Porfiry who retreated to the other door, not at all
alarmed.

“I understand it all! You are lying and mocking so that I may betray myself to
you …”

“Why, you could not betray yourself any further, my dear Rodion
Romanovitch. You are in a passion. Don’t shout, I shall call the clerks.”
“You are lying! Call the clerks! You knew I was ill and tried to work me into a
frenzy to make me betray myself, that was your object! Produce your facts! I
understand it all. You’ve no evidence, you have only wretched rubbishly suspicions
like Zametov’s! You knew my character, you wanted to drive me to fury and then
to knock me down with priests and deputies . . . . Are you waiting for them? eh!
What are you waiting for? Where are they? Produce them?”
 “Why deputies, my good man? What things people will imagine! And to do so
would not be acting in form as you say, you don’t know the business, my dear
fellow. . . . And there’s no escaping form, as you see,” Porfiry muttered, listening at
the door through which a noise could be heard.

“Ah, they’re coming,” cried Raskolnikov. “You’ve sent for them! You expected
them! Well, produce them all: your deputies, your witnesses, what you like! . . . I
am ready!”

But at this moment a strange incident occurred, something so unexpected

that neither Raskolnikov nor Porfiry Petrovitch could have looked for such a
conclusion to their interview.
 CHAPTER VI

When he remembered the scene afterwards, this is how Raskolnikov saw it.
The noise behind the door increased, and suddenly the door was opened a
little.

“What is it?” cried Porfiry Petrovitch, annoyed. “Why, I gave orders …”

For an instant there was no answer, but it was evident that there were several
persons at the door, and that they were apparently pushing somebody back.
“What is it?” Porfiry Petrovitch repeated, uneasily.

“The prisoner Nikolay has been brought,” someone answered.

“He is not wanted! Take him away! Let him wait! What’s he doing here? How
irregular!” cried Porfiry, rushing to the door.

“But he …” began the same voice, and suddenly ceased.

Two seconds, not more, were spent in actual struggle, then someone gave a
violent shove, and then a man, very pale, strode into the room.

This man’s appearance was at first sight very strange. He stared straight
before him, as though seeing nothing. There was a determined gleam in his eyes;
at the same time there was a deathly pallor in his face, as though he were being led
to the scaffold. His white lips were faintly twitching.
He was dressed like a workman and was of medium height, very young, slim,
his hair cut in round crop, with thin spare features. The man whom he had thrust
back followed him into the room and succeeded in seizing him by the shoulder; he
was a warder; but Nikolay pulled his arm away.
Several persons crowded inquisitively into the doorway. Some of them tried
to get in. All this took place almost instantaneously.

“Go away, it’s too soon! Wait till you are sent for! . . . Why have you brought
him so soon?” Porfiry Petrovitch muttered, extremely annoyed, and as it were
thrown out of his reckoning.
But Nikolay suddenly knelt down.

“What’s the matter?” cried Porfiry, surprised.

 “I am guilty! Mine is the sin! I am the murderer,” Nikolay articulated
suddenly, rather breathless, but speaking fairly loudly.
For ten seconds there was silence as though all had been struck dumb; even
the warder stepped back, mechanically retreated to the door, and stood
immovable.

“What is it?” cried Porfiry Petrovitch, recovering from his momentary

stupefaction.
“I . . . am the murderer,” repeated Nikolay, after a brief pause.

“What . . . you . . . what . . . whom did you kill?” Porfiry Petrovitch was
obviously bewildered.

Nikolay again was silent for a moment.

“Alyona Ivanovna and her sister Lizaveta Ivanovna, I . . . killed . . . with an
axe. Darkness came over me,” he added suddenly, and was again silent.

He still remained on his knees. Porfiry Petrovitch stood for some moments as
though meditating, but suddenly roused himself and waved back the uninvited
spectators. They instantly vanished and closed the door. Then he looked towards
Raskolnikov, who was standing in the corner, staring wildly at Nikolay and moved
towards him, but stopped short, looked from Nikolay to Raskolnikov and then
again at Nikolay, and seeming unable to restrain himself darted at the latter.

“You’re in too great a hurry,” he shouted at him, almost angrily. “I didn’t ask
you what came over you. . . . Speak, did you kill them?”

“I am the murderer. . . . I want to give evidence,” Nikolay pronounced.

“Ach! What did you kill them with?”

“An axe. I had it ready.”

“Ach, he is in a hurry! Alone?”

Nikolay did not understand the question.

“Did you do it alone?”

“Yes, alone. And Mitka is not guilty and had no share in it.”

“Don’t be in a hurry about Mitka! A-ach! How was it you ran downstairs like
that at the time? The porters met you both!”
 “It was to put them off the scent . . . I ran after Mitka,” Nikolay replied
hurriedly, as though he had prepared the answer.

“I knew it!” cried Porfiry, with vexation. “It’s not his own tale he is telling,” he
muttered as though to himself, and suddenly his eyes rested on Raskolnikov again.

He was apparently so taken up with Nikolay that for a moment he had

forgotten Raskolnikov. He was a little taken aback.
“My dear Rodion Romanovitch, excuse me!” he flew up to him, “this won’t do;
I’m afraid you must go . . . it’s no good your staying . . . I will . . . you see, what a
surprise! . . . Good-bye!”

And taking him by the arm, he showed him to the door.

“I suppose you didn’t expect it?” said Raskolnikov who, though he had not yet
fully grasped the situation, had regained his courage.

“You did not expect it either, my friend. See how your hand is trembling! He-
he!”
“You’re trembling, too, Porfiry Petrovitch!”

“Yes, I am; I didn’t expect it.”

They were already at the door; Porfiry was impatient for Raskolnikov to be
gone.

“And your little surprise, aren’t you going to show it to me?” Raskolnikov
said, sarcastically.
“Why, his teeth are chattering as he asks, he-he! You are an ironical person!
Come, till we meet!”
“I believe we can say good-bye!”
“That’s in God’s hands,” muttered Porfiry, with an unnatural smile.

As he walked through the office, Raskolnikov noticed that many people were
looking at him. Among them he saw the two porters from the house, whom he had
invited that night to the police station. They stood there waiting. But he was no
sooner on the stairs than he heard the voice of Porfiry Petrovitch behind him.
Turning round, he saw the latter running after him, out of breath.
“One word, Rodion Romanovitch; as to all the rest, it’s in God’s hands, but as
a matter of form there are some questions I shall have to ask you . . . so we shall
meet again, shan’t we?”

And Porfiry stood still, facing him with a smile.

“Shan’t we?” he added again.
He seemed to want to say something more, but could not speak out.

“You must forgive me, Porfiry Petrovitch, for what has just passed . . . I lost
my temper,” began Raskolnikov, who had so far regained his courage that he felt
irresistibly inclined to display his coolness.
“Don’t mention it, don’t mention it,” Porfiry replied, almost gleefully. “I
myself, too . . . I have a wicked temper, I admit it! But we shall meet again. If it’s
God’s will, we may see a great deal of one another.”
“And will get to know each other through and through?” added Raskolnikov.

“Yes; know each other through and through,” assented Porfiry Petrovitch, and
he screwed up his eyes, looking earnestly at Raskolnikov. “Now you’re going to a
birthday party?”
“To a funeral.”

“Of course, the funeral! Take care of yourself, and get well.”
“I don’t know what to wish you,” said Raskolnikov, who had begun to descend
the stairs, but looked back again. “I should like to wish you success, but your office
is such a comical one.”
“Why comical?” Porfiry Petrovitch had turned to go, but he seemed to prick
up his ears at this.
“Why, how you must have been torturing and harassing that poor Nikolay
psychologically, after your fashion, till he confessed! You must have been at him
day and night, proving to him that he was the murderer, and now that he has
confessed, you’ll begin vivisecting him again. ‘You are lying,’ you’ll say. ‘You are
not the murderer! You can’t be! It’s not your own tale you are telling!’ You must
admit it’s a comical business!”
“He-he-he! You noticed then that I said to Nikolay just now that it was not his
own tale he was telling?”
“How could I help noticing it!”
 “He-he! You are quick-witted. You notice everything! You’ve really a playful
mind! And you always fasten on the comic side . . . he-he! They say that was the
marked characteristic of Gogol, among the writers.”
“Yes, of Gogol.”

“Yes, of Gogol. . . . I shall look forward to meeting you.”

“So shall I.”
Raskolnikov walked straight home. He was so muddled and bewildered that
on getting home he sat for a quarter of an hour on the sofa, trying to collect his
thoughts. He did not attempt to think about Nikolay; he was stupefied; he felt that
his confession was something inexplicable, amazing — something beyond his
understanding. But Nikolay’s confession was an actual fact. The consequences of
this fact were clear to him at once, its falsehood could not fail to be discovered,
and then they would be after him again. Till then, at least, he was free and must do
something for himself, for the danger was imminent.
But how imminent? His position gradually became clear to him.
Remembering, sketchily, the main outlines of his recent scene with Porfiry, he
could not help shuddering again with horror. Of course, he did not yet know all
Porfiry’s aims, he could not see into all his calculations. But he had already partly
shown his hand, and no one knew better than Raskolnikov how terrible Porfiry’s
“lead” had been for him. A little more and he might have given himself away
completely, circumstantially. Knowing his nervous temperament and from the
first glance seeing through him, Porfiry, though playing a bold game, was bound to
win. There’s no denying that Raskolnikov had compromised himself seriously, but
no facts had come to light as yet; there was nothing positive. But was he taking a
true view of the position? Wasn’t he mistaken? What had Porfiry been trying to get
at? Had he really some surprise prepared for him? And what was it? Had he really
been expecting something or not? How would they have parted if it had not been
for the unexpected appearance of Nikolay?
Porfiry had shown almost all his cards — of course, he had risked something
in showing them — and if he had really had anything up his sleeve (Raskolnikov
reflected), he would have shown that, too. What was that “surprise”? Was it a
joke? Had it meant anything? Could it have concealed anything like a fact, a piece
of positive evidence? His yesterday’s visitor? What had become of him? Where
was he to-day? If Porfiry really had any evidence, it must be connected with him
....

He sat on the sofa with his elbows on his knees and his face hidden in his
hands. He was still shivering nervously. At last he got up, took his cap, thought a
minute, and went to the door.
He had a sort of presentiment that for to-day, at least, he might consider
himself out of danger. He had a sudden sense almost of joy; he wanted to make
haste to Katerina Ivanovna’s. He would be too late for the funeral, of course, but
he would be in time for the memorial dinner, and there at once he would see
Sonia.
He stood still, thought a moment, and a suffering smile came for a moment
on to his lips.

“To-day! To-day,” he repeated to himself. “Yes, to-day! So it must be . . . .”

But as he was about to open the door, it began opening of itself. He started
and moved back. The door opened gently and slowly, and there suddenly appeared
a figure — yesterday’s visitor from underground.

The man stood in the doorway, looked at Raskolnikov without speaking, and
took a step forward into the room. He was exactly the same as yesterday; the same
figure, the same dress, but there was a great change in his face; he looked dejected
and sighed deeply. If he had only put his hand up to his cheek and leaned his head
on one side he would have looked exactly like a peasant woman.
“What do you want?” asked Raskolnikov, numb with terror. The man was still
silent, but suddenly he bowed down almost to the ground, touching it with his
finger.

“What is it?” cried Raskolnikov.

“I have sinned,” the man articulated softly.

“How?”

“By evil thoughts.”

They looked at one another.

“I was vexed. When you came, perhaps in drink, and bade the porters go to
the police station and asked about the blood, I was vexed that they let you go and
took you for drunken. I was so vexed that I lost my sleep. And remembering the
address we came here yesterday and asked for you . . . .”

“Who came?” Raskolnikov interrupted, instantly beginning to recollect.

“I did, I’ve wronged you.”

“Then you come from that house?”

“I was standing at the gate with them . . . don’t you remember? We have
carried on our trade in that house for years past. We cure and prepare hides, we
take work home . . . most of all I was vexed . . . .”
And the whole scene of the day before yesterday in the gateway came clearly
before Raskolnikov’s mind; he recollected that there had been several people there
besides the porters, women among them. He remembered one voice had
suggested taking him straight to the police-station. He could not recall the face of
the speaker, and even now he did not recognise it, but he remembered that he had
turned round and made him some answer . . . .

So this was the solution of yesterday’s horror. The most awful thought was
that he had been actually almost lost, had almost done for himself on account of
such a trivial circumstance. So this man could tell nothing except his asking about
the flat and the blood stains. So Porfiry, too, had nothing but that delirium, no
facts but this psychology which cuts both ways, nothing positive. So if no more
facts come to light (and they must not, they must not!) then . . . then what can they
do to him? How can they convict him, even if they arrest him? And Porfiry then
had only just heard about the flat and had not known about it before.

“Was it you who told Porfiry . . . that I’d been there?” he cried, struck by a
sudden idea.
“What Porfiry?”

“The head of the detective department?”

“Yes. The porters did not go there, but I went.”

“To-day?”

“I got there two minutes before you. And I heard, I heard it all, how he
worried you.”
“Where? What? When?”
 “Why, in the next room. I was sitting there all the time.”

“What? Why, then you were the surprise? But how could it happen? Upon my
word!”
“I saw that the porters did not want to do what I said,” began the man; “for
it’s too late, said they, and maybe he’ll be angry that we did not come at the time. I
was vexed and I lost my sleep, and I began making inquiries. And finding out
yesterday where to go, I went to-day. The first time I went he wasn’t there, when I
came an hour later he couldn’t see me. I went the third time, and they showed me
in. I informed him of everything, just as it happened, and he began skipping about
the room and punching himself on the chest. ‘What do you scoundrels mean by it?
If I’d known about it I should have arrested him!’ Then he ran out, called
somebody and began talking to him in the corner, then he turned to me, scolding
and questioning me. He scolded me a great deal; and I told him everything, and I
told him that you didn’t dare to say a word in answer to me yesterday and that you
didn’t recognise me. And he fell to running about again and kept hitting himself
on the chest, and getting angry and running about, and when you were announced
he told me to go into the next room. ‘Sit there a bit,’ he said. ‘Don’t move,
whatever you may hear.’ And he set a chair there for me and locked me in.
‘Perhaps,’ he said, ‘I may call you.’ And when Nikolay’d been brought he let me out
as soon as you were gone. ‘I shall send for you again and question you,’ he said.”

“And did he question Nikolay while you were there?”

“He got rid of me as he did of you, before he spoke to Nikolay.”

The man stood still, and again suddenly bowed down, touching the ground
with his finger.

“Forgive me for my evil thoughts, and my slander.”

“May God forgive you,” answered Raskolnikov.

And as he said this, the man bowed down again, but not to the ground, turned
slowly and went out of the room.

“It all cuts both ways, now it all cuts both ways,” repeated Raskolnikov, and
he went out more confident than ever.

“Now we’ll make a fight for it,” he said, with a malicious smile, as he went
down the stairs. His malice was aimed at himself; with shame and contempt he
recollected his “cowardice.”
 PART V

CHAPTER I

The morning that followed the fateful interview with Dounia and her mother
brought sobering influences to bear on Pyotr Petrovitch. Intensely unpleasant as it
was, he was forced little by little to accept as a fact beyond recall what had seemed
to him only the day before fantastic and incredible. The black snake of wounded
vanity had been gnawing at his heart all night. When he got out of bed, Pyotr
Petrovitch immediately looked in the looking-glass. He was afraid that he had
jaundice. However his health seemed unimpaired so far, and looking at his noble,
clear-skinned countenance which had grown fattish of late, Pyotr Petrovitch for an
instant was positively comforted in the conviction that he would find another
bride and, perhaps, even a better one. But coming back to the sense of his present
position, he turned aside and spat vigorously, which excited a sarcastic smile in
Andrey Semyonovitch Lebeziatnikov, the young friend with whom he was staying.
That smile Pyotr Petrovitch noticed, and at once set it down against his young
friend’s account. He had set down a good many points against him of late. His
anger was redoubled when he reflected that he ought not to have told Andrey
Semyonovitch about the result of yesterday’s interview. That was the second
mistake he had made in temper, through impulsiveness and irritability . . . .
Moreover, all that morning one unpleasantness followed another. He even found a
hitch awaiting him in his legal case in the senate. He was particularly irritated by
the owner of the flat which had been taken in view of his approaching marriage
and was being redecorated at his own expense; the owner, a rich German
tradesman, would not entertain the idea of breaking the contract which had just
been signed and insisted on the full forfeit money, though Pyotr Petrovitch would
be giving him back the flat practically redecorated. In the same way the
upholsterers refused to return a single rouble of the instalment paid for the
furniture purchased but not yet removed to the flat.
“Am I to get married simply for the sake of the furniture?” Pyotr Petrovitch
ground his teeth and at the same time once more he had a gleam of desperate
hope. “Can all that be really so irrevocably over? Is it no use to make another
effort?” The thought of Dounia sent a voluptuous pang through his heart. He
endured anguish at that moment, and if it had been possible to slay Raskolnikov
instantly by wishing it, Pyotr Petrovitch would promptly have uttered the wish.
“It was my mistake, too, not to have given them money,” he thought, as he
returned dejectedly to Lebeziatnikov’s room, “and why on earth was I such a Jew?
It was false economy! I meant to keep them without a penny so that they should
turn to me as their providence, and look at them! foo! If I’d spent some fifteen
hundred roubles on them for the trousseau and presents, on knick-knacks,
dressing-cases, jewellery, materials, and all that sort of trash from Knopp’s and
the English shop, my position would have been better and . . . stronger! They
could not have refused me so easily! They are the sort of people that would feel
bound to return money and presents if they broke it off; and they would find it
hard to do it! And their conscience would prick them: how can we dismiss a man
who has hitherto been so generous and delicate?. . . . H’m! I’ve made a blunder.”

And grinding his teeth again, Pyotr Petrovitch called himself a fool — but not
aloud, of course.
He returned home, twice as irritated and angry as before. The preparations
for the funeral dinner at Katerina Ivanovna’s excited his curiosity as he passed. He
had heard about it the day before; he fancied, indeed, that he had been invited, but
absorbed in his own cares he had paid no attention. Inquiring of Madame
Lippevechsel who was busy laying the table while Katerina Ivanovna was away at
the cemetery, he heard that the entertainment was to be a great affair, that all the
lodgers had been invited, among them some who had not known the dead man,
that even Andrey Semyonovitch Lebeziatnikov was invited in spite of his previous
quarrel with Katerina Ivanovna, that he, Pyotr Petrovitch, was not only invited,
but was eagerly expected as he was the most important of the lodgers. Amalia
Ivanovna herself had been invited with great ceremony in spite of the recent
unpleasantness, and so she was very busy with preparations and was taking a
positive pleasure in them; she was moreover dressed up to the nines, all in new
black silk, and she was proud of it. All this suggested an idea to Pyotr Petrovitch
and he went into his room, or rather Lebeziatnikov’s, somewhat thoughtful. He
had learnt that Raskolnikov was to be one of the guests.

Andrey Semyonovitch had been at home all the morning. The attitude of
Pyotr Petrovitch to this gentleman was strange, though perhaps natural. Pyotr
Petrovitch had despised and hated him from the day he came to stay with him and
at the same time he seemed somewhat afraid of him. He had not come to stay with
him on his arrival in Petersburg simply from parsimony, though that had been
perhaps his chief object. He had heard of Andrey Semyonovitch, who had once
been his ward, as a leading young progressive who was taking an important part in
certain interesting circles, the doings of which were a legend in the provinces. It
had impressed Pyotr Petrovitch. These powerful omniscient circles who despised
everyone and showed everyone up had long inspired in him a peculiar but quite
vague alarm. He had not, of course, been able to form even an approximate notion
of what they meant. He, like everyone, had heard that there were, especially in
Petersburg, progressives of some sort, nihilists and so on, and, like many people,
he exaggerated and distorted the significance of those words to an absurd degree.
What for many years past he had feared more than anything was being shown up
and this was the chief ground for his continual uneasiness at the thought of
transferring his business to Petersburg. He was afraid of this as little children are
sometimes panic-stricken. Some years before, when he was just entering on his
own career, he had come upon two cases in which rather important personages in
the province, patrons of his, had been cruelly shown up. One instance had ended
in great scandal for the person attacked and the other had very nearly ended in
serious trouble. For this reason Pyotr Petrovitch intended to go into the subject as
soon as he reached Petersburg and, if necessary, to anticipate contingencies by
seeking the favour of “our younger generation.” He relied on Andrey
Semyonovitch for this and before his visit to Raskolnikov he had succeeded in
picking up some current phrases. He soon discovered that Andrey Semyonovitch
was a commonplace simpleton, but that by no means reassured Pyotr Petrovitch.
Even if he had been certain that all the progressives were fools like him, it would
not have allayed his uneasiness. All the doctrines, the ideas, the systems, with
which Andrey Semyonovitch pestered him had no interest for him. He had his
own object — he simply wanted to find out at once what was happening here. Had
these people any power or not? Had he anything to fear from them? Would they
expose any enterprise of his? And what precisely was now the object of their
attacks? Could he somehow make up to them and get round them if they really
were powerful? Was this the thing to do or not? Couldn’t he gain something
through them? In fact hundreds of questions presented themselves.

Andrey Semyonovitch was an anæmic, scrofulous little man, with strangely

flaxen mutton-chop whiskers of which he was very proud. He was a clerk and had
almost always something wrong with his eyes. He was rather soft-hearted, but
self-confident and sometimes extremely conceited in speech, which had an absurd
effect, incongruous with his little figure. He was one of the lodgers most respected
by Amalia Ivanovna, for he did not get drunk and paid regularly for his lodgings.
Andrey Semyonovitch really was rather stupid; he attached himself to the cause of
progress and “our younger generation” from enthusiasm. He was one of the
numerous and varied legion of dullards, of half-animate abortions, conceited,
half-educated coxcombs, who attach themselves to the idea most in fashion only
to vulgarise it and who caricature every cause they serve, however sincerely.
Though Lebeziatnikov was so good-natured, he, too, was beginning to dislike
Pyotr Petrovitch. This happened on both sides unconsciously. However simple
Andrey Semyonovitch might be, he began to see that Pyotr Petrovitch was duping
him and secretly despising him, and that “he was not the right sort of man.” He
had tried expounding to him the system of Fourier and the Darwinian theory, but
of late Pyotr Petrovitch began to listen too sarcastically and even to be rude. The
fact was he had begun instinctively to guess that Lebeziatnikov was not merely a
commonplace simpleton, but, perhaps, a liar, too, and that he had no connections
of any consequence even in his own circle, but had simply picked things up third-
hand; and that very likely he did not even know much about his own work of
propaganda, for he was in too great a muddle. A fine person he would be to show
anyone up! It must be noted, by the way, that Pyotr Petrovitch had during those
ten days eagerly accepted the strangest praise from Andrey Semyonovitch; he had
not protested, for instance, when Andrey Semyonovitch belauded him for being
ready to contribute to the establishment of the new “commune,” or to abstain
from christening his future children, or to acquiesce if Dounia were to take a lover
a month after marriage, and so on. Pyotr Petrovitch so enjoyed hearing his own
praises that he did not disdain even such virtues when they were attributed to
him.
Pyotr Petrovitch had had occasion that morning to realise some five-per-cent
bonds and now he sat down to the table and counted over bundles of notes.
Andrey Semyonovitch who hardly ever had any money walked about the room
pretending to himself to look at all those bank notes with indifference and even
contempt. Nothing would have convinced Pyotr Petrovitch that Andrey
Semyonovitch could really look on the money unmoved, and the latter, on his side,
kept thinking bitterly that Pyotr Petrovitch was capable of entertaining such an
idea about him and was, perhaps, glad of the opportunity of teasing his young
friend by reminding him of his inferiority and the great difference between them.

He found him incredibly inattentive and irritable, though he, Andrey

Semyonovitch, began enlarging on his favourite subject, the foundation of a new
special “commune.” The brief remarks that dropped from Pyotr Petrovitch
between the clicking of the beads on the reckoning frame betrayed unmistakable
and discourteous irony. But the “humane” Andrey Semyonovitch ascribed Pyotr
Petrovitch’s ill-humour to his recent breach with Dounia and he was burning with
impatience to discourse on that theme. He had something progressive to say on
the subject which might console his worthy friend and “could not fail” to promote
his development.
“There is some sort of festivity being prepared at that . . . at the widow’s, isn’t
there?” Pyotr Petrovitch asked suddenly, interrupting Andrey Semyonovitch at the
most interesting passage.

“Why, don’t you know? Why, I was telling you last night what I think about all
such ceremonies. And she invited you too, I heard. You were talking to her
yesterday …”
“I should never have expected that beggarly fool would have spent on this
feast all the money she got from that other fool, Raskolnikov. I was surprised just
now as I came through at the preparations there, the wines! Several people are
invited. It’s beyond everything!” continued Pyotr Petrovitch, who seemed to have
some object in pursuing the conversation. “What? You say I am asked too? When
was that? I don’t remember. But I shan’t go. Why should I? I only said a word to
her in passing yesterday of the possibility of her obtaining a year’s salary as a
destitute widow of a government clerk. I suppose she has invited me on that
account, hasn’t she? He-he-he!”

“I don’t intend to go either,” said Lebeziatnikov.

“I should think not, after giving her a thrashing! You might well hesitate, he-
he!”

“Who thrashed? Whom?” cried Lebeziatnikov, flustered and blushing.

“Why, you thrashed Katerina Ivanovna a month ago. I heard so yesterday . . .
so that’s what your convictions amount to . . . and the woman question, too, wasn’t
quite sound, he-he-he!” and Pyotr Petrovitch, as though comforted, went back to
clicking his beads.
“It’s all slander and nonsense!” cried Lebeziatnikov, who was always afraid of
allusions to the subject. “It was not like that at all, it was quite different. You’ve
heard it wrong; it’s a libel. I was simply defending myself. She rushed at me first
with her nails, she pulled out all my whiskers. . . . It’s permissable for anyone, I
should hope, to defend himself and I never allow anyone to use violence to me on
principle, for it’s an act of despotism. What was I to do? I simply pushed her
back.”

“He-he-he!” Luzhin went on laughing maliciously.

“You keep on like that because you are out of humour yourself. . . . But that’s
nonsense and it has nothing, nothing whatever to do with the woman question!
You don’t understand; I used to think, indeed, that if women are equal to men in
all respects, even in strength (as is maintained now) there ought to be equality in
that, too. Of course, I reflected afterwards that such a question ought not really to
arise, for there ought not to be fighting and in the future society fighting is
unthinkable . . . and that it would be a queer thing to seek for equality in fighting. I
am not so stupid . . . though, of course, there is fighting . . . there won’t be later,
but at present there is . . . confound it! How muddled one gets with you! It’s not on
that account that I am not going. I am not going on principle, not to take part in
the revolting convention of memorial dinners, that’s why! Though, of course, one
might go to laugh at it. . . . I am sorry there won’t be any priests at it. I should
certainly go if there were.”
“Then you would sit down at another man’s table and insult it and those who
invited you. Eh?”

“Certainly not insult, but protest. I should do it with a good object. I might
indirectly assist the cause of enlightenment and propaganda. It’s a duty of every
man to work for enlightenment and propaganda and the more harshly, perhaps,
the better. I might drop a seed, an idea. . . . And something might grow up from
that seed. How should I be insulting them? They might be offended at first, but
afterwards they’d see I’d done them a service. You know, Terebyeva (who is in the
community now) was blamed because when she left her family and . . . devoted . . .
herself, she wrote to her father and mother that she wouldn’t go on living
conventionally and was entering on a free marriage and it was said that that was
too harsh, that she might have spared them and have written more kindly. I think
that’s all nonsense and there’s no need of softness; on the contrary, what’s wanted
is protest. Varents had been married seven years, she abandoned her two children,
she told her husband straight out in a letter: ‘I have realised that I cannot be
happy with you. I can never forgive you that you have deceived me by concealing
from me that there is another organisation of society by means of the
communities. I have only lately learned it from a great-hearted man to whom I
have given myself and with whom I am establishing a community. I speak plainly
because I consider it dishonest to deceive you. Do as you think best. Do not hope
to get me back, you are too late. I hope you will be happy.’ That’s how letters like
that ought to be written!”

“Is that Terebyeva the one you said had made a third free marriage?”

“No, it’s only the second, really! But what if it were the fourth, what if it were
the fifteenth, that’s all nonsense! And if ever I regretted the death of my father and
mother, it is now, and I sometimes think if my parents were living what a protest I
would have aimed at them! I would have done something on purpose . . . I would
have shown them! I would have astonished them! I am really sorry there is no
one!”
“To surprise! He-he! Well, be that as you will,” Pyotr Petrovitch interrupted,
“but tell me this; do you know the dead man’s daughter, the delicate-looking little
thing? It’s true what they say about her, isn’t it?”
“What of it? I think, that is, it is my own personal conviction that this is the
normal condition of women. Why not? I mean, distinguons. In our present society
it is not altogether normal, because it is compulsory, but in the future society it
will be perfectly normal, because it will be voluntary. Even as it is, she was quite
right: she was suffering and that was her asset, so to speak, her capital which she
had a perfect right to dispose of. Of course, in the future society there will be no
need of assets, but her part will have another significance, rational and in
harmony with her environment. As to Sofya Semyonovna personally, I regard her
action as a vigorous protest against the organisation of society, and I respect her
deeply for it; I rejoice indeed when I look at her!”

“I was told that you got her turned out of these lodgings.”

Lebeziatnikov was enraged.

“That’s another slander,” he yelled. “It was not so at all! That was all Katerina
Ivanovna’s invention, for she did not understand! And I never made love to Sofya
Semyonovna! I was simply developing her, entirely disinterestedly, trying to rouse
her to protest. . . . All I wanted was her protest and Sofya Semyonovna could not
have remained here anyway!”

“Have you asked her to join your community?”

“You keep on laughing and very inappropriately, allow me to tell you. You
don’t understand! There is no such rôle in a community. The community is
established that there should be no such rôles. In a community, such a rôle is
essentially transformed and what is stupid here is sensible there, what, under
present conditions, is unnatural becomes perfectly natural in the community. It all
depends on the environment. It’s all the environment and man himself is nothing.
And I am on good terms with Sofya Semyonovna to this day, which is a proof that
she never regarded me as having wronged her. I am trying now to attract her to
the community, but on quite, quite a different footing. What are you laughing at?
We are trying to establish a community of our own, a special one, on a broader
basis. We have gone further in our convictions. We reject more! And meanwhile
I’m still developing Sofya Semyonovna. She has a beautiful, beautiful character!”

“And you take advantage of her fine character, eh? He-he!”

“No, no! Oh, no! On the contrary.”

“Oh, on the contrary! He-he-he! A queer thing to say!”

“Believe me! Why should I disguise it? In fact, I feel it strange myself how
timid, chaste and modern she is with me!”
“And you, of course, are developing her . . . he-he! trying to prove to her that
all that modesty is nonsense?”

“Not at all, not at all! How coarsely, how stupidly — excuse me saying so —
you misunderstand the word development! Good heavens, how . . . crude you still
are! We are striving for the freedom of women and you have only one idea in your
head. . . . Setting aside the general question of chastity and feminine modesty as
useless in themselves and indeed prejudices, I fully accept her chastity with me,
because that’s for her to decide. Of course if she were to tell me herself that she
wanted me, I should think myself very lucky, because I like the girl very much; but
as it is, no one has ever treated her more courteously than I, with more respect for
her dignity . . . I wait in hopes, that’s all!”
 “You had much better make her a present of something. I bet you never
thought of that.”

“You don’t understand, as I’ve told you already! Of course, she is in such a
position, but it’s another question. Quite another question! You simply despise
her. Seeing a fact which you mistakenly consider deserving of contempt, you
refuse to take a humane view of a fellow creature. You don’t know what a
character she is! I am only sorry that of late she has quite given up reading and
borrowing books. I used to lend them to her. I am sorry, too, that with all the
energy and resolution in protesting — which she has already shown once — she
has little self-reliance, little, so to say, independence, so as to break free from
certain prejudices and certain foolish ideas. Yet she thoroughly understands some
questions, for instance about kissing of hands, that is, that it’s an insult to a
woman for a man to kiss her hand, because it’s a sign of inequality. We had a
debate about it and I described it to her. She listened attentively to an account of
the workmen’s associations in France, too. Now I am explaining the question of
coming into the room in the future society.”

“And what’s that, pray?”

“We had a debate lately on the question: Has a member of the community the
right to enter another member’s room, whether man or woman, at any time . . .
and we decided that he has!”

“It might be at an inconvenient moment, he-he!”

Lebeziatnikov was really angry.

“You are always thinking of something unpleasant,” he cried with aversion.

“Tfoo! How vexed I am that when I was expounding our system, I referred
prematurely to the question of personal privacy! It’s always a stumbling-block to
people like you, they turn it into ridicule before they understand it. And how
proud they are of it, too! Tfoo! I’ve often maintained that that question should not
be approached by a novice till he has a firm faith in the system. And tell me,
please, what do you find so shameful even in cesspools? I should be the first to be
ready to clean out any cesspool you like. And it’s not a question of self-sacrifice,
it’s simply work, honourable, useful work which is as good as any other and much
better than the work of a Raphael and a Pushkin, because it is more useful.”

“And more honourable, more honourable, he-he-he!”

 “What do you mean by ‘more honourable’? I don’t understand such
expressions to describe human activity. ‘More honourable,’ ‘nobler’— all those are
old-fashioned prejudices which I reject. Everything which is of use to mankind is
honourable. I only understand one word: useful! You can snigger as much as you
like, but that’s so!”

Pyotr Petrovitch laughed heartily. He had finished counting the money and
was putting it away. But some of the notes he left on the table. The “cesspool
question” had already been a subject of dispute between them. What was absurd
was that it made Lebeziatnikov really angry, while it amused Luzhin and at that
moment he particularly wanted to anger his young friend.

“It’s your ill-luck yesterday that makes you so ill-humoured and annoying,”
blurted out Lebeziatnikov, who in spite of his “independence” and his “protests”
did not venture to oppose Pyotr Petrovitch and still behaved to him with some of
the respect habitual in earlier years.

“You’d better tell me this,” Pyotr Petrovitch interrupted with haughty

displeasure, “can you . . . or rather are you really friendly enough with that young
person to ask her to step in here for a minute? I think they’ve all come back from
the cemetery . . . I heard the sound of steps . . . I want to see her, that young
person.”
“What for?” Lebeziatnikov asked with surprise.

“Oh, I want to. I am leaving here to-day or to-morrow and therefore I wanted
to speak to her about . . . However, you may be present during the interview. It’s
better you should be, indeed. For there’s no knowing what you might imagine.”
“I shan’t imagine anything. I only asked and, if you’ve anything to say to her,
nothing is easier than to call her in. I’ll go directly and you may be sure I won’t be
in your way.”

Five minutes later Lebeziatnikov came in with Sonia. She came in very much
surprised and overcome with shyness as usual. She was always shy in such
circumstances and was always afraid of new people, she had been as a child and
was even more so now. . . . Pyotr Petrovitch met her “politely and affably,” but
with a certain shade of bantering familiarity which in his opinion was suitable for
a man of his respectability and weight in dealing with a creature so young and so
interesting as she. He hastened to “reassure” her and made her sit down facing
him at the table. Sonia sat down, looked about her — at Lebeziatnikov, at the notes
lying on the table and then again at Pyotr Petrovitch and her eyes remained
riveted on him. Lebeziatnikov was moving to the door. Pyotr Petrovitch signed to
Sonia to remain seated and stopped Lebeziatnikov.

“Is Raskolnikov in there? Has he come?” he asked him in a whisper.

“Raskolnikov? Yes. Why? Yes, he is there. I saw him just come in. . . . Why?”
“Well, I particularly beg you to remain here with us and not to leave me alone
with this . . . young woman. I only want a few words with her, but God knows what
they may make of it. I shouldn’t like Raskolnikov to repeat anything. . . . You
understand what I mean?”

“I understand!” Lebeziatnikov saw the point. “Yes, you are right. . . . Of

course, I am convinced personally that you have no reason to be uneasy, but . . .
still, you are right. Certainly I’ll stay. I’ll stand here at the window and not be in
your way . . . I think you are right …”

Pyotr Petrovitch returned to the sofa, sat down opposite Sonia, looked
attentively at her and assumed an extremely dignified, even severe expression, as
much as to say, “don’t you make any mistake, madam.” Sonia was overwhelmed
with embarrassment.

“In the first place, Sofya Semyonovna, will you make my excuses to your
respected mamma. . . . That’s right, isn’t it? Katerina Ivanovna stands in the place
of a mother to you?” Pyotr Petrovitch began with great dignity, though affably.

It was evident that his intentions were friendly.

“Quite so, yes; the place of a mother,” Sonia answered, timidly and hurriedly.

“Then will you make my apologies to her? Through inevitable circumstances I

am forced to be absent and shall not be at the dinner in spite of your mamma’s
kind invitation.”

“Yes . . . I’ll tell her . . . at once.”

And Sonia hastily jumped up from her seat.

“Wait, that’s not all,” Pyotr Petrovitch detained her, smiling at her simplicity
and ignorance of good manners, “and you know me little, my dear Sofya
Semyonovna, if you suppose I would have ventured to trouble a person like you for
a matter of so little consequence affecting myself only. I have another object.”

Sonia sat down hurriedly. Her eyes rested again for an instant on the grey-
and-rainbow-coloured notes that remained on the table, but she quickly looked
away and fixed her eyes on Pyotr Petrovitch. She felt it horribly indecorous,
especially for her, to look at another person’s money. She stared at the gold eye-
glass which Pyotr Petrovitch held in his left hand and at the massive and
extremely handsome ring with a yellow stone on his middle finger. But suddenly
she looked away and, not knowing where to turn, ended by staring Pyotr
Petrovitch again straight in the face. After a pause of still greater dignity he
continued.
“I chanced yesterday in passing to exchange a couple of words with Katerina
Ivanovna, poor woman. That was sufficient to enable me to ascertain that she is in
a position — preternatural, if one may so express it.”

“Yes . . . preternatural …” Sonia hurriedly assented.

“Or it would be simpler and more comprehensible to say, ill.”

“Yes, simpler and more comprehen . . . yes, ill.”

“Quite so. So then from a feeling of humanity and so to speak compassion, I

should be glad to be of service to her in any way, foreseeing her unfortunate
position. I believe the whole of this poverty-stricken family depends now entirely
on you?”

“Allow me to ask,” Sonia rose to her feet, “did you say something to her
yesterday of the possibility of a pension? Because she told me you had undertaken
to get her one. Was that true?”

“Not in the slightest, and indeed it’s an absurdity! I merely hinted at her
obtaining temporary assistance as the widow of an official who had died in the
service — if only she has patronage . . . but apparently your late parent had not
served his full term and had not indeed been in the service at all of late. In fact, if
there could be any hope, it would be very ephemeral, because there would be no
claim for assistance in that case, far from it. . . . And she is dreaming of a pension
already, he-he-he! . . . A go-ahead lady!”

“Yes, she is. For she is credulous and good-hearted, and she believes
everything from the goodness of her heart and . . . and . . . and she is like that . . .
yes . . . You must excuse her,” said Sonia, and again she got up to go.

“But you haven’t heard what I have to say.”

“No, I haven’t heard,” muttered Sonia.

“Then sit down.” She was terribly confused; she sat down again a third time.
“Seeing her position with her unfortunate little ones, I should be glad, as I
have said before, so far as lies in my power, to be of service, that is, so far as is in
my power, not more. One might for instance get up a subscription for her, or a
lottery, something of the sort, such as is always arranged in such cases by friends
or even outsiders desirous of assisting people. It was of that I intended to speak to
you; it might be done.”

“Yes, yes . . . God will repay you for it,” faltered Sonia, gazing intently at Pyotr
Petrovitch.

“It might be, but we will talk of it later. We might begin it to-day, we will talk
it over this evening and lay the foundation so to speak. Come to me at seven
o’clock. Mr. Lebeziatnikov, I hope, will assist us. But there is one circumstance of
which I ought to warn you beforehand and for which I venture to trouble you,
Sofya Semyonovna, to come here. In my opinion money cannot be, indeed it’s
unsafe to put it into Katerina Ivanovna’s own hands. The dinner to-day is a proof
of that. Though she has not, so to speak, a crust of bread for to-morrow and . . .
well, boots or shoes, or anything; she has bought to-day Jamaica rum, and even, I
believe, Madeira and . . . and coffee. I saw it as I passed through. To-morrow it will
all fall upon you again, they won’t have a crust of bread. It’s absurd, really, and so,
to my thinking, a subscription ought to be raised so that the unhappy widow
should not know of the money, but only you, for instance. Am I right?”
“I don’t know . . . this is only to-day, once in her life. . . . She was so anxious to
do honour, to celebrate the memory. . . . And she is very sensible . . . but just as
you think and I shall be very, very . . . they will all be . . . and God will reward . . .
and the orphans …”
Sonia burst into tears.

“Very well, then, keep it in mind; and now will you accept for the benefit of
your relation the small sum that I am able to spare, from me personally. I am very
anxious that my name should not be mentioned in connection with it. Here . . .
having so to speak anxieties of my own, I cannot do more …”

And Pyotr Petrovitch held out to Sonia a ten-rouble note carefully unfolded.
Sonia took it, flushed crimson, jumped up, muttered something and began taking
leave. Pyotr Petrovitch accompanied her ceremoniously to the door. She got out of
the room at last, agitated and distressed, and returned to Katerina Ivanovna,
overwhelmed with confusion.
All this time Lebeziatnikov had stood at the window or walked about the
room, anxious not to interrupt the conversation; when Sonia had gone he walked
up to Pyotr Petrovitch and solemnly held out his hand.

“I heard and saw everything,” he said, laying stress on the last verb. “That is
honourable, I mean to say, it’s humane! You wanted to avoid gratitude, I saw! And
although I cannot, I confess, in principle sympathise with private charity, for it not
only fails to eradicate the evil but even promotes it, yet I must admit that I saw
your action with pleasure — yes, yes, I like it.”
“That’s all nonsense,” muttered Pyotr Petrovitch, somewhat disconcerted,
looking carefully at Lebeziatnikov.

“No, it’s not nonsense! A man who has suffered distress and annoyance as you
did yesterday and who yet can sympathise with the misery of others, such a man
. . . even though he is making a social mistake — is still deserving of respect! I did
not expect it indeed of you, Pyotr Petrovitch, especially as according to your ideas
. . . oh, what a drawback your ideas are to you! How distressed you are for instance
by your ill-luck yesterday,” cried the simple-hearted Lebeziatnikov, who felt a
return of affection for Pyotr Petrovitch. “And, what do you want with marriage,
with legal marriage, my dear, noble Pyotr Petrovitch? Why do you cling to this
legality of marriage? Well, you may beat me if you like, but I am glad, positively
glad it hasn’t come off, that you are free, that you are not quite lost for humanity.
. . . you see, I’ve spoken my mind!”

“Because I don’t want in your free marriage to be made a fool of and to bring
up another man’s children, that’s why I want legal marriage,” Luzhin replied in
order to make some answer.

He seemed preoccupied by something.

“Children? You referred to children,” Lebeziatnikov started off like a warhorse

at the trumpet call. “Children are a social question and a question of first
importance, I agree; but the question of children has another solution. Some
refuse to have children altogether, because they suggest the institution of the
family. We’ll speak of children later, but now as to the question of honour, I
confess that’s my weak point. That horrid, military, Pushkin expression is
unthinkable in the dictionary of the future. What does it mean indeed? It’s
nonsense, there will be no deception in a free marriage! That is only the natural
consequence of a legal marriage, so to say, its corrective, a protest. So that indeed
it’s not humiliating . . . and if I ever, to suppose an absurdity, were to be legally
married, I should be positively glad of it. I should say to my wife: ‘My dear,
hitherto I have loved you, now I respect you, for you’ve shown you can protest!’
You laugh! That’s because you are of incapable of getting away from prejudices.
Confound it all! I understand now where the unpleasantness is of being deceived
in a legal marriage, but it’s simply a despicable consequence of a despicable
position in which both are humiliated. When the deception is open, as in a free
marriage, then it does not exist, it’s unthinkable. Your wife will only prove how she
respects you by considering you incapable of opposing her happiness and
avenging yourself on her for her new husband. Damn it all! I sometimes dream if I
were to be married, pfoo! I mean if I were to marry, legally or not, it’s just the
same, I should present my wife with a lover if she had not found one for herself.
‘My dear,’ I should say, ‘I love you, but even more than that I desire you to respect
me. See!’ Am I not right?”

Pyotr Petrovitch sniggered as he listened, but without much merriment. He

hardly heard it indeed. He was preoccupied with something else and even
Lebeziatnikov at last noticed it. Pyotr Petrovitch seemed excited and rubbed his
hands. Lebeziatnikov remembered all this and reflected upon it afterwards.
 CHAPTER II

It would be difficult to explain exactly what could have originated the idea of that
senseless dinner in Katerina Ivanovna’s disordered brain. Nearly ten of the twenty
roubles, given by Raskolnikov for Marmeladov’s funeral, were wasted upon it.
Possibly Katerina Ivanovna felt obliged to honour the memory of the deceased
“suitably,” that all the lodgers, and still more Amalia Ivanovna, might know “that
he was in no way their inferior, and perhaps very much their superior,” and that
no one had the right “to turn up his nose at him.” Perhaps the chief element was
that peculiar “poor man’s pride,” which compels many poor people to spend their
last savings on some traditional social ceremony, simply in order to do “like other
people,” and not to “be looked down upon.” It is very probable, too, that Katerina
Ivanovna longed on this occasion, at the moment when she seemed to be
abandoned by everyone, to show those “wretched contemptible lodgers” that she
knew “how to do things, how to entertain” and that she had been brought up “in a
genteel, she might almost say aristocratic colonel’s family” and had not been
meant for sweeping floors and washing the children’s rags at night. Even the
poorest and most broken-spirited people are sometimes liable to these paroxysms
of pride and vanity which take the form of an irresistible nervous craving. And
Katerina Ivanovna was not broken-spirited; she might have been killed by
circumstance, but her spirit could not have been broken, that is, she could not
have been intimidated, her will could not be crushed. Moreover Sonia had said
with good reason that her mind was unhinged. She could not be said to be insane,
but for a year past she had been so harassed that her mind might well be
overstrained. The later stages of consumption are apt, doctors tell us, to affect the
intellect.

There was no great variety of wines, nor was there Madeira; but wine there
was. There was vodka, rum and Lisbon wine, all of the poorest quality but in
sufficient quantity. Besides the traditional rice and honey, there were three or four
dishes, one of which consisted of pancakes, all prepared in Amalia Ivanovna’s
kitchen. Two samovars were boiling, that tea and punch might be offered after
dinner. Katerina Ivanovna had herself seen to purchasing the provisions, with the
help of one of the lodgers, an unfortunate little Pole who had somehow been
stranded at Madame Lippevechsel’s. He promptly put himself at Katerina
Ivanovna’s disposal and had been all that morning and all the day before running
about as fast as his legs could carry him, and very anxious that everyone should be
aware of it. For every trifle he ran to Katerina Ivanovna, even hunting her out at
the bazaar, at every instant called her “Pani.” She was heartily sick of him before
the end, though she had declared at first that she could not have got on without
this “serviceable and magnanimous man.” It was one of Katerina Ivanovna’s
characteristics to paint everyone she met in the most glowing colours. Her praises
were so exaggerated as sometimes to be embarrassing; she would invent various
circumstances to the credit of her new acquaintance and quite genuinely believe in
their reality. Then all of a sudden she would be disillusioned and would rudely and
contemptuously repulse the person she had only a few hours before been literally
adoring. She was naturally of a gay, lively and peace-loving disposition, but from
continual failures and misfortunes she had come to desire so keenly that all
should live in peace and joy and should not dare to break the peace, that the
slightest jar, the smallest disaster reduced her almost to frenzy, and she would
pass in an instant from the brightest hopes and fancies to cursing her fate and
raving, and knocking her head against the wall.

Amalia Ivanovna, too, suddenly acquired extraordinary importance in

Katerina Ivanovna’s eyes and was treated by her with extraordinary respect,
probably only because Amalia Ivanovna had thrown herself heart and soul into the
preparations. She had undertaken to lay the table, to provide the linen, crockery,
etc., and to cook the dishes in her kitchen, and Katerina Ivanovna had left it all in
her hands and gone herself to the cemetery. Everything had been well done. Even
the table-cloth was nearly clean; the crockery, knives, forks and glasses were, of
course, of all shapes and patterns, lent by different lodgers, but the table was
properly laid at the time fixed, and Amalia Ivanovna, feeling she had done her
work well, had put on a black silk dress and a cap with new mourning ribbons and
met the returning party with some pride. This pride, though justifiable, displeased
Katerina Ivanovna for some reason: “as though the table could not have been laid
except by Amalia Ivanovna!” She disliked the cap with new ribbons, too. “Could
she be stuck up, the stupid German, because she was mistress of the house, and
had consented as a favour to help her poor lodgers! As a favour! Fancy that!
Katerina Ivanovna’s father who had been a colonel and almost a governor had
sometimes had the table set for forty persons, and then anyone like Amalia
Ivanovna, or rather Ludwigovna, would not have been allowed into the kitchen.”
 Katerina Ivanovna, however, put off expressing her feelings for the time and
contented herself with treating her coldly, though she decided inwardly that she
would certainly have to put Amalia Ivanovna down and set her in her proper
place, for goodness only knew what she was fancying herself. Katerina Ivanovna
was irritated too by the fact that hardly any of the lodgers invited had come to the
funeral, except the Pole who had just managed to run into the cemetery, while to
the memorial dinner the poorest and most insignificant of them had turned up,
the wretched creatures, many of them not quite sober. The older and more
respectable of them all, as if by common consent, stayed away. Pyotr Petrovitch
Luzhin, for instance, who might be said to be the most respectable of all the
lodgers, did not appear, though Katerina Ivanovna had the evening before told all
the world, that is Amalia Ivanovna, Polenka, Sonia and the Pole, that he was the
most generous, noble-hearted man with a large property and vast connections,
who had been a friend of her first husband’s, and a guest in her father’s house, and
that he had promised to use all his influence to secure her a considerable pension.
It must be noted that when Katerina Ivanovna exalted anyone’s connections and
fortune, it was without any ulterior motive, quite disinterestedly, for the mere
pleasure of adding to the consequence of the person praised. Probably “taking his
cue” from Luzhin, “that contemptible wretch Lebeziatnikov had not turned up
either. What did he fancy himself? He was only asked out of kindness and because
he was sharing the same room with Pyotr Petrovitch and was a friend of his, so
that it would have been awkward not to invite him.”

Among those who failed to appear were “the genteel lady and her old-maidish
daughter,” who had only been lodgers in the house for the last fortnight, but had
several times complained of the noise and uproar in Katerina Ivanovna’s room,
especially when Marmeladov had come back drunk. Katerina Ivanovna heard this
from Amalia Ivanovna who, quarrelling with Katerina Ivanovna, and threatening
to turn the whole family out of doors, had shouted at her that they “were not
worth the foot” of the honourable lodgers whom they were disturbing. Katerina
Ivanovna determined now to invite this lady and her daughter, “whose foot she
was not worth,” and who had turned away haughtily when she casually met them,
so that they might know that “she was more noble in her thoughts and feelings
and did not harbour malice,” and might see that she was not accustomed to her
way of living. She had proposed to make this clear to them at dinner with allusions
to her late father’s governorship, and also at the same time to hint that it was
exceedingly stupid of them to turn away on meeting her. The fat colonel-major (he
was really a discharged officer of low rank) was also absent, but it appeared that
he had been “not himself” for the last two days. The party consisted of the Pole, a
wretched looking clerk with a spotty face and a greasy coat, who had not a word to
say for himself, and smelt abominably, a deaf and almost blind old man who had
once been in the post office and who had been from immemorial ages maintained
by someone at Amalia Ivanovna’s.
A retired clerk of the commissariat department came, too; he was drunk, had
a loud and most unseemly laugh and only fancy — was without a waistcoat! One of
the visitors sat straight down to the table without even greeting Katerina
Ivanovna. Finally one person having no suit appeared in his dressing-gown, but
this was too much, and the efforts of Amalia Ivanovna and the Pole succeeded in
removing him. The Pole brought with him, however, two other Poles who did not
live at Amalia Ivanovna’s and whom no one had seen here before. All this irritated
Katerina Ivanovna intensely. “For whom had they made all these preparations
then?” To make room for the visitors the children had not even been laid for at the
table; but the two little ones were sitting on a bench in the furthest corner with
their dinner laid on a box, while Polenka as a big girl had to look after them, feed
them, and keep their noses wiped like well-bred children’s.
Katerina Ivanovna, in fact, could hardly help meeting her guests with
increased dignity, and even haughtiness. She stared at some of them with special
severity, and loftily invited them to take their seats. Rushing to the conclusion that
Amalia Ivanovna must be responsible for those who were absent, she began
treating her with extreme nonchalance, which the latter promptly observed and
resented. Such a beginning was no good omen for the end. All were seated at last.
Raskolnikov came in almost at the moment of their return from the cemetery.
Katerina Ivanovna was greatly delighted to see him, in the first place, because he
was the one “educated visitor, and, as everyone knew, was in two years to take a
professorship in the university,” and secondly because he immediately and
respectfully apologised for having been unable to be at the funeral. She positively
pounced upon him, and made him sit on her left hand (Amalia Ivanovna was on
her right). In spite of her continual anxiety that the dishes should be passed round
correctly and that everyone should taste them, in spite of the agonising cough
which interrupted her every minute and seemed to have grown worse during the
last few days, she hastened to pour out in a half whisper to Raskolnikov all her
suppressed feelings and her just indignation at the failure of the dinner,
interspersing her remarks with lively and uncontrollable laughter at the expense
of her visitors and especially of her landlady.

“It’s all that cuckoo’s fault! You know whom I mean? Her, her!” Katerina
Ivanovna nodded towards the landlady. “Look at her, she’s making round eyes,
she feels that we are talking about her and can’t understand. Pfoo, the owl! Ha-ha!
(Cough-cough-cough.) And what does she put on that cap for? (Cough-cough-
cough.) Have you noticed that she wants everyone to consider that she is
patronising me and doing me an honour by being here? I asked her like a sensible
woman to invite people, especially those who knew my late husband, and look at
the set of fools she has brought! The sweeps! Look at that one with the spotty face.
And those wretched Poles, ha-ha-ha! (Cough-cough-cough.) Not one of them has
ever poked his nose in here, I’ve never set eyes on them. What have they come
here for, I ask you? There they sit in a row. Hey, pan!” she cried suddenly to one of
them, “have you tasted the pancakes? Take some more! Have some beer! Won’t
you have some vodka? Look, he’s jumped up and is making his bows, they must be
quite starved, poor things. Never mind, let them eat! They don’t make a noise,
anyway, though I’m really afraid for our landlady’s silver spoons . . . Amalia
Ivanovna!” she addressed her suddenly, almost aloud, “if your spoons should
happen to be stolen, I won’t be responsible, I warn you! Ha-ha-ha!” She laughed
turning to Raskolnikov, and again nodding towards the landlady, in high glee at
her sally. “She didn’t understand, she didn’t understand again! Look how she sits
with her mouth open! An owl, a real owl! An owl in new ribbons, ha-ha-ha!”
Here her laugh turned again to an insufferable fit of coughing that lasted five
minutes. Drops of perspiration stood out on her forehead and her handkerchief
was stained with blood. She showed Raskolnikov the blood in silence, and as soon
as she could get her breath began whispering to him again with extreme animation
and a hectic flush on her cheeks.
“Do you know, I gave her the most delicate instructions, so to speak, for
inviting that lady and her daughter, you understand of whom I am speaking? It
needed the utmost delicacy, the greatest nicety, but she has managed things so
that that fool, that conceited baggage, that provincial nonentity, simply because
she is the widow of a major, and has come to try and get a pension and to fray out
her skirts in the government offices, because at fifty she paints her face (everybody
knows it) . . . a creature like that did not think fit to come, and has not even
answered the invitation, which the most ordinary good manners required! I can’t
understand why Pyotr Petrovitch has not come? But where’s Sonia? Where has
she gone? Ah, there she is at last! what is it, Sonia, where have you been? It’s odd
that even at your father’s funeral you should be so unpunctual. Rodion
Romanovitch, make room for her beside you. That’s your place, Sonia . . . take
what you like. Have some of the cold entrée with jelly, that’s the best. They’ll bring
the pancakes directly. Have they given the children some? Polenka, have you got
everything? (Cough-cough-cough.) That’s all right. Be a good girl, Lida, and,
Kolya, don’t fidget with your feet; sit like a little gentleman. What are you saying,
Sonia?”

Sonia hastened to give her Pyotr Petrovitch’s apologies, trying to speak loud
enough for everyone to hear and carefully choosing the most respectful phrases
which she attributed to Pyotr Petrovitch. She added that Pyotr Petrovitch had
particularly told her to say that, as soon as he possibly could, he would come
immediately to discuss business alone with her and to consider what could be
done for her, etc., etc.

Sonia knew that this would comfort Katerina Ivanovna, would flatter her and
gratify her pride. She sat down beside Raskolnikov; she made him a hurried bow,
glancing curiously at him. But for the rest of the time she seemed to avoid looking
at him or speaking to him. She seemed absent-minded, though she kept looking at
Katerina Ivanovna, trying to please her. Neither she nor Katerina Ivanovna had
been able to get mourning; Sonia was wearing dark brown, and Katerina Ivanovna
had on her only dress, a dark striped cotton one.

The message from Pyotr Petrovitch was very successful. Listening to Sonia
with dignity, Katerina Ivanovna inquired with equal dignity how Pyotr Petrovitch
was, then at once whispered almost aloud to Raskolnikov that it certainly would
have been strange for a man of Pyotr Petrovitch’s position and standing to find
himself in such “extraordinary company,” in spite of his devotion to her family
and his old friendship with her father.
“That’s why I am so grateful to you, Rodion Romanovitch, that you have not
disdained my hospitality, even in such surroundings,” she added almost aloud.
“But I am sure that it was only your special affection for my poor husband that has
made you keep your promise.”
Then once more with pride and dignity she scanned her visitors, and
suddenly inquired aloud across the table of the deaf man: “Wouldn’t he have some
more meat, and had he been given some wine?” The old man made no answer and
for a long while could not understand what he was asked, though his neighbours
amused themselves by poking and shaking him. He simply gazed about him with
his mouth open, which only increased the general mirth.

“What an imbecile! Look, look! Why was he brought? But as to Pyotr

Petrovitch, I always had confidence in him,” Katerina Ivanovna continued, “and,
of course, he is not like …” with an extremely stern face she addressed Amalia
Ivanovna so sharply and loudly that the latter was quite disconcerted, “not like
your dressed up draggletails whom my father would not have taken as cooks into
his kitchen, and my late husband would have done them honour if he had invited
them in the goodness of his heart.”

“Yes, he was fond of drink, he was fond of it, he did drink!” cried the
commissariat clerk, gulping down his twelfth glass of vodka.
“My late husband certainly had that weakness, and everyone knows it,”
Katerina Ivanovna attacked him at once, “but he was a kind and honourable man,
who loved and respected his family. The worst of it was his good nature made him
trust all sorts of disreputable people, and he drank with fellows who were not
worth the sole of his shoe. Would you believe it, Rodion Romanovitch, they found
a gingerbread cock in his pocket; he was dead drunk, but he did not forget the
children!”

“A cock? Did you say a cock?” shouted the commissariat clerk.

Katerina Ivanovna did not vouchsafe a reply. She sighed, lost in thought.

“No doubt you think, like everyone, that I was too severe with him,” she went
on, addressing Raskolnikov. “But that’s not so! He respected me, he respected me
very much! He was a kind-hearted man! And how sorry I was for him sometimes!
He would sit in a corner and look at me, I used to feel so sorry for him, I used to
want to be kind to him and then would think to myself: ‘Be kind to him and he will
drink again,’ it was only by severity that you could keep him within bounds.”

“Yes, he used to get his hair pulled pretty often,” roared the commissariat
clerk again, swallowing another glass of vodka.
 “Some fools would be the better for a good drubbing, as well as having their
hair pulled. I am not talking of my late husband now!” Katerina Ivanovna snapped
at him.
The flush on her cheeks grew more and more marked, her chest heaved. In
another minute she would have been ready to make a scene. Many of the visitors
were sniggering, evidently delighted. They began poking the commissariat clerk
and whispering something to him. They were evidently trying to egg him on.
“Allow me to ask what are you alluding to,” began the clerk, “that is to say,
whose . . . about whom . . . did you say just now . . . But I don’t care! That’s
nonsense! Widow! I forgive you. . . . Pass!”

And he took another drink of vodka.

Raskolnikov sat in silence, listening with disgust. He only ate from politeness,
just tasting the food that Katerina Ivanovna was continually putting on his plate,
to avoid hurting her feelings. He watched Sonia intently. But Sonia became more
and more anxious and distressed; she, too, foresaw that the dinner would not end
peaceably, and saw with terror Katerina Ivanovna’s growing irritation. She knew
that she, Sonia, was the chief reason for the ‘genteel’ ladies’ contemptuous
treatment of Katerina Ivanovna’s invitation. She had heard from Amalia Ivanovna
that the mother was positively offended at the invitation and had asked the
question: “How could she let her daughter sit down beside that young person?”
Sonia had a feeling that Katerina Ivanovna had already heard this and an insult to
Sonia meant more to Katerina Ivanovna than an insult to herself, her children, or
her father, Sonia knew that Katerina Ivanovna would not be satisfied now, “till she
had shown those draggletails that they were both …” To make matters worse
someone passed Sonia, from the other end of the table, a plate with two hearts
pierced with an arrow, cut out of black bread. Katerina Ivanovna flushed crimson
and at once said aloud across the table that the man who sent it was “a drunken
ass!”

Amalia Ivanovna was foreseeing something amiss, and at the same time
deeply wounded by Katerina Ivanovna’s haughtiness, and to restore the good-
humour of the company and raise herself in their esteem she began, apropos of
nothing, telling a story about an acquaintance of hers “Karl from the chemist’s,”
who was driving one night in a cab, and that “the cabman wanted him to kill, and
Karl very much begged him not to kill, and wept and clasped hands, and
frightened and from fear pierced his heart.” Though Katerina Ivanovna smiled,
she observed at once that Amalia Ivanovna ought not to tell anecdotes in Russian;
the latter was still more offended, and she retorted that her “Vater aus Berlin was
a very important man, and always went with his hands in pockets.” Katerina
Ivanovna could not restrain herself and laughed so much that Amalia Ivanovna
lost patience and could scarcely control herself.
“Listen to the owl!” Katerina Ivanovna whispered at once, her good-humour
almost restored, “she meant to say he kept his hands in his pockets, but she said
he put his hands in people’s pockets. (Cough-cough.) And have you noticed,
Rodion Romanovitch, that all these Petersburg foreigners, the Germans especially,
are all stupider than we! Can you fancy anyone of us telling how ‘Karl from the
chemist’s’ ‘pierced his heart from fear’ and that the idiot, instead of punishing the
cabman, ‘clasped his hands and wept, and much begged.’ Ah, the fool! And you
know she fancies it’s very touching and does not suspect how stupid she is! To my
thinking that drunken commissariat clerk is a great deal cleverer, anyway one can
see that he has addled his brains with drink, but you know, these foreigners are
always so well behaved and serious. . . . Look how she sits glaring! She is angry,
ha-ha! (Cough-cough-cough.)”
Regaining her good-humour, Katerina Ivanovna began at once telling
Raskolnikov that when she had obtained her pension, she intended to open a
school for the daughters of gentlemen in her native town T——. This was the first
time she had spoken to him of the project, and she launched out into the most
alluring details. It suddenly appeared that Katerina Ivanovna had in her hands the
very certificate of honour of which Marmeladov had spoken to Raskolnikov in the
tavern, when he told him that Katerina Ivanovna, his wife, had danced the shawl
dance before the governor and other great personages on leaving school. This
certificate of honour was obviously intended now to prove Katerina Ivanovna’s
right to open a boarding-school; but she had armed herself with it chiefly with the
object of overwhelming “those two stuck-up draggletails” if they came to the
dinner, and proving incontestably that Katerina Ivanovna was of the most noble,
“she might even say aristocratic family, a colonel’s daughter and was far superior
to certain adventuresses who have been so much to the fore of late.” The certificate
of honour immediately passed into the hands of the drunken guests, and Katerina
Ivanovna did not try to retain it, for it actually contained the statement en toutes
lettres, that her father was of the rank of a major, and also a companion of an
order, so that she really was almost the daughter of a colonel.

Warming up, Katerina Ivanovna proceeded to enlarge on the peaceful and

happy life they would lead in T— — on the gymnasium teachers whom she would
engage to give lessons in her boarding-school, one a most respectable old
Frenchman, one Mangot, who had taught Katerina Ivanovna herself in old days
and was still living in T— — and would no doubt teach in her school on moderate
terms. Next she spoke of Sonia who would go with her to T—— and help her in all
her plans. At this someone at the further end of the table gave a sudden guffaw.
Though Katerina Ivanovna tried to appear to be disdainfully unaware of it,
she raised her voice and began at once speaking with conviction of Sonia’s
undoubted ability to assist her, of “her gentleness, patience, devotion, generosity
and good education,” tapping Sonia on the cheek and kissing her warmly twice.
Sonia flushed crimson, and Katerina Ivanovna suddenly burst into tears,
immediately observing that she was “nervous and silly, that she was too much
upset, that it was time to finish, and as the dinner was over, it was time to hand
round the tea.”
At that moment, Amalia Ivanovna, deeply aggrieved at taking no part in the
conversation, and not being listened to, made one last effort, and with secret
misgivings ventured on an exceedingly deep and weighty observation, that “in the
future boarding-school she would have to pay particular attention to die Wäsche,
and that there certainly must be a good dame to look after the linen, and secondly
that the young ladies must not novels at night read.”

Katerina Ivanovna, who certainly was upset and very tired, as well as heartily
sick of the dinner, at once cut short Amalia Ivanovna, saying “she knew nothing
about it and was talking nonsense, that it was the business of the laundry maid,
and not of the directress of a high-class boarding-school to look after die Wäsche,
and as for novel-reading, that was simply rudeness, and she begged her to be
silent.” Amalia Ivanovna fired up and getting angry observed that she only “meant
her good,” and that “she had meant her very good,” and that “it was long since she
had paid her gold for the lodgings.”

Katerina Ivanovna at once “set her down,” saying that it was a lie to say she
wished her good, because only yesterday when her dead husband was lying on the
table, she had worried her about the lodgings. To this Amalia Ivanovna very
appropriately observed that she had invited those ladies, but “those ladies had not
come, because those ladies are ladies and cannot come to a lady who is not a
lady.” Katerina Ivanovna at once pointed out to her, that as she was a slut she
could not judge what made one really a lady. Amalia Ivanovna at once declared
that her “Vater aus Berlin was a very, very important man, and both hands in
pockets went, and always used to say: ‘Poof! poof!’” and she leapt up from the
table to represent her father, sticking her hands in her pockets, puffing her cheeks,
and uttering vague sounds resembling “poof! poof!” amid loud laughter from all
the lodgers, who purposely encouraged Amalia Ivanovna, hoping for a fight.

But this was too much for Katerina Ivanovna, and she at once declared, so
that all could hear, that Amalia Ivanovna probably never had a father, but was
simply a drunken Petersburg Finn, and had certainly once been a cook and
probably something worse. Amalia Ivanovna turned as red as a lobster and
squealed that perhaps Katerina Ivanovna never had a father, “but she had a Vater
aus Berlin and that he wore a long coat and always said poof-poof-poof!”
Katerina Ivanovna observed contemptuously that all knew what her family
was and that on that very certificate of honour it was stated in print that her father
was a colonel, while Amalia Ivanovna’s father — if she really had one — was
probably some Finnish milkman, but that probably she never had a father at all,
since it was still uncertain whether her name was Amalia Ivanovna or Amalia
Ludwigovna.

At this Amalia Ivanovna, lashed to fury, struck the table with her fist, and
shrieked that she was Amalia Ivanovna, and not Ludwigovna, “that her Vater was
named Johann and that he was a burgomeister, and that Katerina Ivanovna’s
Vater was quite never a burgomeister.” Katerina Ivanovna rose from her chair,
and with a stern and apparently calm voice (though she was pale and her chest
was heaving) observed that “if she dared for one moment to set her contemptible
wretch of a father on a level with her papa, she, Katerina Ivanovna, would tear her
cap off her head and trample it under foot.” Amalia Ivanovna ran about the room,
shouting at the top of her voice, that she was mistress of the house and that
Katerina Ivanovna should leave the lodgings that minute; then she rushed for
some reason to collect the silver spoons from the table. There was a great outcry
and uproar, the children began crying. Sonia ran to restrain Katerina Ivanovna,
but when Amalia Ivanovna shouted something about “the yellow ticket,” Katerina
Ivanovna pushed Sonia away, and rushed at the landlady to carry out her threat.
 At that minute the door opened, and Pyotr Petrovitch Luzhin appeared on the
threshold. He stood scanning the party with severe and vigilant eyes. Katerina
Ivanovna rushed to him.
 CHAPTER III

“Pyotr Petrovitch,” she cried, “protect me . . . you at least! Make this foolish
woman understand that she can’t behave like this to a lady in misfortune . . . that
there is a law for such things. . . . I’ll go to the governor-general himself. . . . She
shall answer for it. . . . Remembering my father’s hospitality protect these
orphans.”

“Allow me, madam. . . . Allow me.” Pyotr Petrovitch waved her off. “Your papa
as you are well aware I had not the honour of knowing” (someone laughed aloud)
“and I do not intend to take part in your everlasting squabbles with Amalia
Ivanovna. . . . I have come here to speak of my own affairs . . . and I want to have a
word with your stepdaughter, Sofya . . . Ivanovna, I think it is? Allow me to pass.”
Pyotr Petrovitch, edging by her, went to the opposite corner where Sonia was.

Katerina Ivanovna remained standing where she was, as though

thunderstruck. She could not understand how Pyotr Petrovitch could deny having
enjoyed her father’s hospitility. Though she had invented it herself, she believed in
it firmly by this time. She was struck too by the businesslike, dry and even
contemptuous menacing tone of Pyotr Petrovitch. All the clamour gradually died
away at his entrance. Not only was this “serious business man” strikingly
incongruous with the rest of the party, but it was evident, too, that he had come
upon some matter of consequence, that some exceptional cause must have
brought him and that therefore something was going to happen. Raskolnikov,
standing beside Sonia, moved aside to let him pass; Pyotr Petrovitch did not seem
to notice him. A minute later Lebeziatnikov, too, appeared in the doorway; he did
not come in, but stood still, listening with marked interest, almost wonder, and
seemed for a time perplexed.

“Excuse me for possibly interrupting you, but it’s a matter of some

importance,” Pyotr Petrovitch observed, addressing the company generally. “I am
glad indeed to find other persons present. Amalia Ivanovna, I humbly beg you as
mistress of the house to pay careful attention to what I have to say to Sofya
Ivanovna. Sofya Ivanovna,” he went on, addressing Sonia, who was very much
surprised and already alarmed, “immediately after your visit I found that a
hundred-rouble note was missing from my table, in the room of my friend Mr.
Lebeziatnikov. If in any way whatever you know and will tell us where it is now, I
assure you on my word of honour and call all present to witness that the matter
shall end there. In the opposite case I shall be compelled to have recourse to very
serious measures and then . . . you must blame yourself.”
Complete silence reigned in the room. Even the crying children were still.
Sonia stood deadly pale, staring at Luzhin and unable to say a word. She seemed
not to understand. Some seconds passed.

“Well, how is it to be then?” asked Luzhin, looking intently at her.

“I don’t know. . . . I know nothing about it,” Sonia articulated faintly at last.

“No, you know nothing?” Luzhin repeated and again he paused for some
seconds. “Think a moment, mademoiselle,” he began severely, but still, as it were,
admonishing her. “Reflect, I am prepared to give you time for consideration.
Kindly observe this: if I were not so entirely convinced I should not, you may be
sure, with my experience venture to accuse you so directly. Seeing that for such
direct accusation before witnesses, if false or even mistaken, I should myself in a
certain sense be made responsible, I am aware of that. This morning I changed for
my own purposes several five-per-cent securities for the sum of approximately
three thousand roubles. The account is noted down in my pocket-book. On my
return home I proceeded to count the money — as Mr. Lebeziatnikov will bear
witness — and after counting two thousand three hundred roubles I put the rest in
my pocket-book in my coat pocket. About five hundred roubles remained on the
table and among them three notes of a hundred roubles each. At that moment you
entered (at my invitation)— and all the time you were present you were
exceedingly embarrassed; so that three times you jumped up in the middle of the
conversation and tried to make off. Mr. Lebeziatnikov can bear witness to this.
You yourself, mademoiselle, probably will not refuse to confirm my statement that
I invited you through Mr. Lebeziatnikov, solely in order to discuss with you the
hopeless and destitute position of your relative, Katerina Ivanovna (whose dinner
I was unable to attend), and the advisability of getting up something of the nature
of a subscription, lottery or the like, for her benefit. You thanked me and even
shed tears. I describe all this as it took place, primarily to recall it to your mind
and secondly to show you that not the slightest detail has escaped my recollection.
Then I took a ten-rouble note from the table and handed it to you by way of first
instalment on my part for the benefit of your relative. Mr. Lebeziatnikov saw all
this. Then I accompanied you to the door — you being still in the same state of
embarrassment — after which, being left alone with Mr. Lebeziatnikov I talked to
him for ten minutes — then Mr. Lebeziatnikov went out and I returned to the table
with the money lying on it, intending to count it and to put it aside, as I proposed
doing before. To my surprise one hundred-rouble note had disappeared. Kindly
consider the position. Mr. Lebeziatnikov I cannot suspect. I am ashamed to allude
to such a supposition. I cannot have made a mistake in my reckoning, for the
minute before your entrance I had finished my accounts and found the total
correct. You will admit that recollecting your embarrassment, your eagerness to
get away and the fact that you kept your hands for some time on the table, and
taking into consideration your social position and the habits associated with it, I
was, so to say, with horror and positively against my will, compelled to entertain a
suspicion — a cruel, but justifiable suspicion! I will add further and repeat that in
spite of my positive conviction, I realise that I run a certain risk in making this
accusation, but as you see, I could not let it pass. I have taken action and I will tell
you why: solely, madam, solely, owing to your black ingratitude! Why! I invite you
for the benefit of your destitute relative, I present you with my donation of ten
roubles and you, on the spot, repay me for all that with such an action. It is too
bad! You need a lesson. Reflect! Moreover, like a true friend I beg you — and you
could have no better friend at this moment — think what you are doing, otherwise
I shall be immovable! Well, what do you say?”

“I have taken nothing,” Sonia whispered in terror, “you gave me ten roubles,
here it is, take it.”
Sonia pulled her handkerchief out of her pocket, untied a corner of it, took out
the ten-rouble note and gave it to Luzhin.
“And the hundred roubles you do not confess to taking?” he insisted
reproachfully, not taking the note.
Sonia looked about her. All were looking at her with such awful, stern,
ironical, hostile eyes. She looked at Raskolnikov . . . he stood against the wall, with
his arms crossed, looking at her with glowing eyes.
“Good God!” broke from Sonia.

“Amalia Ivanovna, we shall have to send word to the police and therefore I
humbly beg you meanwhile to send for the house porter,” Luzhin said softly and
even kindly.
“Gott der Barmherzige! I knew she was the thief,” cried Amalia Ivanovna,
throwing up her hands.
“You knew it?” Luzhin caught her up, “then I suppose you had some reason
before this for thinking so. I beg you, worthy Amalia Ivanovna, to remember your
words which have been uttered before witnesses.”
There was a buzz of loud conversation on all sides. All were in movement.

“What!” cried Katerina Ivanovna, suddenly realising the position, and she
rushed at Luzhin. “What! You accuse her of stealing? Sonia? Ah, the wretches, the
wretches!”
And running to Sonia she flung her wasted arms round her and held her as in
a vise.
“Sonia! how dared you take ten roubles from him? Foolish girl! Give it to me!
Give me the ten roubles at once — here!
And snatching the note from Sonia, Katerina Ivanovna crumpled it up and
flung it straight into Luzhin’s face. It hit him in the eye and fell on the ground.
Amalia Ivanovna hastened to pick it up. Pyotr Petrovitch lost his temper.
“Hold that mad woman!” he shouted.

At that moment several other persons, besides Lebeziatnikov, appeared in the

doorway, among them the two ladies.

“What! Mad? Am I mad? Idiot!” shrieked Katerina Ivanovna. “You are an

idiot yourself, pettifogging lawyer, base man! Sonia, Sonia take his money! Sonia a
thief! Why, she’d give away her last penny!” and Katerina Ivanovna broke into
hysterical laughter. “Did you ever see such an idiot?” she turned from side to side.
“And you too?” she suddenly saw the landlady, “and you too, sausage eater, you
declare that she is a thief, you trashy Prussian hen’s leg in a crinoline! She hasn’t
been out of this room: she came straight from you, you wretch, and sat down
beside me, everyone saw her. She sat here, by Rodion Romanovitch. Search her!
Since she’s not left the room, the money would have to be on her! Search her,
search her! But if you don’t find it, then excuse me, my dear fellow, you’ll answer
for it! I’ll go to our Sovereign, to our Sovereign, to our gracious Tsar himself, and
throw myself at his feet, to-day, this minute! I am alone in the world! They would
let me in! Do you think they wouldn’t? You’re wrong, I will get in! I will get in! You
reckoned on her meekness! You relied upon that! But I am not so submissive, let
me tell you! You’ve gone too far yourself. Search her, search her!”
And Katerina Ivanovna in a frenzy shook Luzhin and dragged him towards
Sonia.
“I am ready, I’ll be responsible . . . but calm yourself, madam, calm yourself. I
see that you are not so submissive! . . . Well, well, but as to that …” Luzhin
muttered, “that ought to be before the police . . . though indeed there are witnesses
enough as it is. . . . I am ready. . . . But in any case it’s difficult for a man . . . on
account of her sex. . . . But with the help of Amalia Ivanovna . . . though, of course,
it’s not the way to do things. . . . How is it to be done?”
“As you will! Let anyone who likes search her!” cried Katerina Ivanovna.
“Sonia, turn out your pockets! See! Look, monster, the pocket is empty, here was
her handkerchief! Here is the other pocket, look! D’you see, d’you see?”
And Katerina Ivanovna turned — or rather snatched — both pockets inside
out. But from the right pocket a piece of paper flew out and describing a parabola
in the air fell at Luzhin’s feet. Everyone saw it, several cried out. Pyotr Petrovitch
stooped down, picked up the paper in two fingers, lifted it where all could see it
and opened it. It was a hundred-rouble note folded in eight. Pyotr Petrovitch held
up the note showing it to everyone.
“Thief! Out of my lodging. Police, police!” yelled Amalia Ivanovna. “They
must to Siberia be sent! Away!”
Exclamations arose on all sides. Raskolnikov was silent, keeping his eyes
fixed on Sonia, except for an occasional rapid glance at Luzhin. Sonia stood still,
as though unconscious. She was hardly able to feel surprise. Suddenly the colour
rushed to her cheeks; she uttered a cry and hid her face in her hands.
“No, it wasn’t I! I didn’t take it! I know nothing about it,” she cried with a
heartrending wail, and she ran to Katerina Ivanovna, who clasped her tightly in
her arms, as though she would shelter her from all the world.

“Sonia! Sonia! I don’t believe it! You see, I don’t believe it!” she cried in the
face of the obvious fact, swaying her to and fro in her arms like a baby, kissing her
face continually, then snatching at her hands and kissing them, too, “you took it!
How stupid these people are! Oh dear! You are fools, fools,” she cried, addressing
the whole room, “you don’t know, you don’t know what a heart she has, what a girl
she is! She take it, she? She’d sell her last rag, she’d go barefoot to help you if you
needed it, that’s what she is! She has the yellow passport because my children
were starving, she sold herself for us! Ah, husband, husband! Do you see? Do you
see? What a memorial dinner for you! Merciful heavens! Defend her, why are you
all standing still? Rodion Romanovitch, why don’t you stand up for her? Do you
believe it, too? You are not worth her little finger, all of you together! Good God!
Defend her now, at least!”
The wail of the poor, consumptive, helpless woman seemed to produce a great
effect on her audience. The agonised, wasted, consumptive face, the parched
blood-stained lips, the hoarse voice, the tears unrestrained as a child’s, the
trustful, childish and yet despairing prayer for help were so piteous that everyone
seemed to feel for her. Pyotr Petrovitch at any rate was at once moved to
compassion.
“Madam, madam, this incident does not reflect upon you!” he cried
impressively, “no one would take upon himself to accuse you of being an instigator
or even an accomplice in it, especially as you have proved her guilt by turning out
her pockets, showing that you had no previous idea of it. I am most ready, most
ready to show compassion, if poverty, so to speak, drove Sofya Semyonovna to it,
but why did you refuse to confess, mademoiselle? Were you afraid of the disgrace?
The first step? You lost your head, perhaps? One can quite understand it. . . . But
how could you have lowered yourself to such an action? Gentlemen,” he addressed
the whole company, “gentlemen! Compassionate and, so to say, commiserating
these people, I am ready to overlook it even now in spite of the personal insult
lavished upon me! And may this disgrace be a lesson to you for the future,” he
said, addressing Sonia, “and I will carry the matter no further. Enough!”

Pyotr Petrovitch stole a glance at Raskolnikov. Their eyes met, and the fire in
Raskolnikov’s seemed ready to reduce him to ashes. Meanwhile Katerina Ivanovna
apparently heard nothing. She was kissing and hugging Sonia like a madwoman.
The children, too, were embracing Sonia on all sides, and Polenka — though she
did not fully understand what was wrong — was drowned in tears and shaking
with sobs, as she hid her pretty little face, swollen with weeping, on Sonia’s
shoulder.

“How vile!” a loud voice cried suddenly in the doorway.

 Pyotr Petrovitch looked round quickly.
“What vileness!” Lebeziatnikov repeated, staring him straight in the face.

Pyotr Petrovitch gave a positive start — all noticed it and recalled it

afterwards. Lebeziatnikov strode into the room.
“And you dared to call me as witness?” he said, going up to Pyotr Petrovitch.

“What do you mean? What are you talking about?” muttered Luzhin.

“I mean that you . . . are a slanderer, that’s what my words mean!”

Lebeziatnikov said hotly, looking sternly at him with his short-sighted eyes.

He was extremely angry. Raskolnikov gazed intently at him, as though seizing

and weighing each word. Again there was a silence. Pyotr Petrovitch indeed
seemed almost dumbfounded for the first moment.
“If you mean that for me, …” he began, stammering. “But what’s the matter
with you? Are you out of your mind?”

“I’m in my mind, but you are a scoundrel! Ah, how vile! I have heard
everything. I kept waiting on purpose to understand it, for I must own even now it
is not quite logical. . . . What you have done it all for I can’t understand.”

“Why, what have I done then? Give over talking in your nonsensical riddles!
Or maybe you are drunk!”
“You may be a drunkard, perhaps, vile man, but I am not! I never touch
vodka, for it’s against my convictions. Would you believe it, he, he himself, with
his own hands gave Sofya Semyonovna that hundred-rouble note — I saw it, I was
a witness, I’ll take my oath! He did it, he!” repeated Lebeziatnikov, addressing all.
“Are you crazy, milksop?” squealed Luzhin. “She is herself before you — she
herself here declared just now before everyone that I gave her only ten roubles.
How could I have given it to her?”

“I saw it, I saw it,” Lebeziatnikov repeated, “and though it is against my

principles, I am ready this very minute to take any oath you like before the court,
for I saw how you slipped it in her pocket. Only like a fool I thought you did it out
of kindness! When you were saying good-bye to her at the door, while you held her
hand in one hand, with the other, the left, you slipped the note into her pocket. I
saw it, I saw it!”
 Luzhin turned pale.

“What lies!” he cried impudently, “why, how could you, standing by the
window, see the note? You fancied it with your short-sighted eyes. You are
raving!”

“No, I didn’t fancy it. And though I was standing some way off, I saw it all.
And though it certainly would be hard to distinguish a note from the window —
that’s true — I knew for certain that it was a hundred-rouble note, because, when
you were going to give Sofya Semyonovna ten roubles, you took up from the table
a hundred-rouble note (I saw it because I was standing near then, and an idea
struck me at once, so that I did not forget you had it in your hand). You folded it
and kept it in your hand all the time. I didn’t think of it again until, when you were
getting up, you changed it from your right hand to your left and nearly dropped it!
I noticed it because the same idea struck me again, that you meant to do her a
kindness without my seeing. You can fancy how I watched you and I saw how you
succeeded in slipping it into her pocket. I saw it, I saw it, I’ll take my oath.”
Lebeziatnikov was almost breathless. Exclamations arose on all hands chiefly
expressive of wonder, but some were menacing in tone. They all crowded round
Pyotr Petrovitch. Katerina Ivanovna flew to Lebeziatnikov.

“I was mistaken in you! Protect her! You are the only one to take her part! She
is an orphan. God has sent you!”

Katerina Ivanovna, hardly knowing what she was doing, sank on her knees
before him.
“A pack of nonsense!” yelled Luzhin, roused to fury, “it’s all nonsense you’ve
been talking! ‘An idea struck you, you didn’t think, you noticed’— what does it
amount to? So I gave it to her on the sly on purpose? What for? With what object?
What have I to do with this …?”
“What for? That’s what I can’t understand, but that what I am telling you is
the fact, that’s certain! So far from my being mistaken, you infamous criminal
man, I remember how, on account of it, a question occurred to me at once, just
when I was thanking you and pressing your hand. What made you put it secretly
in her pocket? Why you did it secretly, I mean? Could it be simply to conceal it
from me, knowing that my convictions are opposed to yours and that I do not
approve of private benevolence, which effects no radical cure? Well, I decided that
you really were ashamed of giving such a large sum before me. Perhaps, too, I
thought, he wants to give her a surprise, when she finds a whole hundred-rouble
note in her pocket. (For I know, some benevolent people are very fond of decking
out their charitable actions in that way.) Then the idea struck me, too, that you
wanted to test her, to see whether, when she found it, she would come to thank
you. Then, too, that you wanted to avoid thanks and that, as the saying is, your
right hand should not know . . . something of that sort, in fact. I thought of so
many possibilities that I put off considering it, but still thought it indelicate to
show you that I knew your secret. But another idea struck me again that Sofya
Semyonovna might easily lose the money before she noticed it, that was why I
decided to come in here to call her out of the room and to tell her that you put a
hundred roubles in her pocket. But on my way I went first to Madame
Kobilatnikov’s to take them the ‘General Treatise on the Positive Method’ and
especially to recommend Piderit’s article (and also Wagner’s); then I come on here
and what a state of things I find! Now could I, could I, have all these ideas and
reflections if I had not seen you put the hundred-rouble note in her pocket?”

When Lebeziatnikov finished his long-winded harangue with the logical

deduction at the end, he was quite tired, and the perspiration streamed from his
face. He could not, alas, even express himself correctly in Russian, though he
knew no other language, so that he was quite exhausted, almost emaciated after
this heroic exploit. But his speech produced a powerful effect. He had spoken with
such vehemence, with such conviction that everyone obviously believed him. Pyotr
Petrovitch felt that things were going badly with him.

“What is it to do with me if silly ideas did occur to you?” he shouted, “that’s

no evidence. You may have dreamt it, that’s all! And I tell you, you are lying, sir.
You are lying and slandering from some spite against me, simply from pique,
because I did not agree with your free-thinking, godless, social propositions!”

But this retort did not benefit Pyotr Petrovitch. Murmurs of disapproval were
heard on all sides.
“Ah, that’s your line now, is it!” cried Lebeziatnikov, “that’s nonsense! Call the
police and I’ll take my oath! There’s only one thing I can’t understand: what made
him risk such a contemptible action. Oh, pitiful, despicable man!”

“I can explain why he risked such an action, and if necessary, I, too, will swear
to it,” Raskolnikov said at last in a firm voice, and he stepped forward.
 He appeared to be firm and composed. Everyone felt clearly, from the very
look of him that he really knew about it and that the mystery would be solved.

“Now I can explain it all to myself,” said Raskolnikov, addressing

Lebeziatnikov. “From the very beginning of the business, I suspected that there
was some scoundrelly intrigue at the bottom of it. I began to suspect it from some
special circumstances known to me only, which I will explain at once to everyone:
they account for everything. Your valuable evidence has finally made everything
clear to me. I beg all, all to listen. This gentleman (he pointed to Luzhin) was
recently engaged to be married to a young lady — my sister, Avdotya Romanovna
Raskolnikov. But coming to Petersburg he quarrelled with me, the day before
yesterday, at our first meeting and I drove him out of my room — I have two
witnesses to prove it. He is a very spiteful man. . . . The day before yesterday I did
not know that he was staying here, in your room, and that consequently on the
very day we quarrelled — the day before yesterday — he saw me give Katerina
Ivanovna some money for the funeral, as a friend of the late Mr. Marmeladov. He
at once wrote a note to my mother and informed her that I had given away all my
money, not to Katerina Ivanovna but to Sofya Semyonovna, and referred in a most
contemptible way to the . . . character of Sofya Semyonovna, that is, hinted at the
character of my attitude to Sofya Semyonovna. All this you understand was with
the object of dividing me from my mother and sister, by insinuating that I was
squandering on unworthy objects the money which they had sent me and which
was all they had. Yesterday evening, before my mother and sister and in his
presence, I declared that I had given the money to Katerina Ivanovna for the
funeral and not to Sofya Semyonovna and that I had no acquaintance with Sofya
Semyonovna and had never seen her before, indeed. At the same time I added that
he, Pyotr Petrovitch Luzhin, with all his virtues, was not worth Sofya
Semyonovna’s little finger, though he spoke so ill of her. To his question — would I
let Sofya Semyonovna sit down beside my sister, I answered that I had already
done so that day. Irritated that my mother and sister were unwilling to quarrel
with me at his insinuations, he gradually began being unpardonably rude to them.
A final rupture took place and he was turned out of the house. All this happened
yesterday evening. Now I beg your special attention: consider: if he had now
succeeded in proving that Sofya Semyonovna was a thief, he would have shown to
my mother and sister that he was almost right in his suspicions, that he had
reason to be angry at my putting my sister on a level with Sofya Semyonovna, that,
in attacking me, he was protecting and preserving the honour of my sister, his
betrothed. In fact he might even, through all this, have been able to estrange me
from my family, and no doubt he hoped to be restored to favour with them; to say
nothing of revenging himself on me personally, for he has grounds for supposing
that the honour and happiness of Sofya Semyonovna are very precious to me. That
was what he was working for! That’s how I understand it. That’s the whole reason
for it and there can be no other!”

It was like this, or somewhat like this, that Raskolnikov wound up his speech
which was followed very attentively, though often interrupted by exclamations
from his audience. But in spite of interruptions he spoke clearly, calmly, exactly,
firmly. His decisive voice, his tone of conviction and his stern face made a great
impression on everyone.

“Yes, yes, that’s it,” Lebeziatnikov assented gleefully, “that must be it, for he
asked me, as soon as Sofya Semyonovna came into our room, whether you were
here, whether I had seen you among Katerina Ivanovna’s guests. He called me
aside to the window and asked me in secret. It was essential for him that you
should be here! That’s it, that’s it!”

Luzhin smiled contemptuously and did not speak. But he was very pale. He
seemed to be deliberating on some means of escape. Perhaps he would have been
glad to give up everything and get away, but at the moment this was scarcely
possible. It would have implied admitting the truth of the accusations brought
against him. Moreover, the company, which had already been excited by drink,
was now too much stirred to allow it. The commissariat clerk, though indeed he
had not grasped the whole position, was shouting louder than anyone and was
making some suggestions very unpleasant to Luzhin. But not all those present
were drunk; lodgers came in from all the rooms. The three Poles were
tremendously excited and were continually shouting at him: “The pan is a lajdak!”
and muttering threats in Polish. Sonia had been listening with strained attention,
though she too seemed unable to grasp it all; she seemed as though she had just
returned to consciousness. She did not take her eyes off Raskolnikov, feeling that
all her safety lay in him. Katerina Ivanovna breathed hard and painfully and
seemed fearfully exhausted. Amalia Ivanovna stood looking more stupid than
anyone, with her mouth wide open, unable to make out what had happened. She
only saw that Pyotr Petrovitch had somehow come to grief.
 Raskolnikov was attempting to speak again, but they did not let him.
Everyone was crowding round Luzhin with threats and shouts of abuse. But Pyotr
Petrovitch was not intimidated. Seeing that his accusation of Sonia had completely
failed, he had recourse to insolence:

“Allow me, gentlemen, allow me! Don’t squeeze, let me pass!” he said, making
his way through the crowd. “And no threats, if you please! I assure you it will be
useless, you will gain nothing by it. On the contrary, you’ll have to answer,
gentlemen, for violently obstructing the course of justice. The thief has been more
than unmasked, and I shall prosecute. Our judges are not so blind and . . . not so
drunk, and will not believe the testimony of two notorious infidels, agitators, and
atheists, who accuse me from motives of personal revenge which they are foolish
enough to admit. . . . Yes, allow me to pass!”

“Don’t let me find a trace of you in my room! Kindly leave at once, and
everything is at an end between us! When I think of the trouble I’ve been taking,
the way I’ve been expounding . . . all this fortnight!”

“I told you myself to-day that I was going, when you tried to keep me; now I
will simply add that you are a fool. I advise you to see a doctor for your brains and
your short sight. Let me pass, gentlemen!”
He forced his way through. But the commissariat clerk was unwilling to let
him off so easily: he picked up a glass from the table, brandished it in the air and
flung it at Pyotr Petrovitch; but the glass flew straight at Amalia Ivanovna. She
screamed, and the clerk, overbalancing, fell heavily under the table. Pyotr
Petrovitch made his way to his room and half an hour later had left the house.
Sonia, timid by nature, had felt before that day that she could be ill-treated more
easily than anyone, and that she could be wronged with impunity. Yet till that
moment she had fancied that she might escape misfortune by care, gentleness and
submissiveness before everyone. Her disappointment was too great. She could, of
course, bear with patience and almost without murmur anything, even this. But
for the first minute she felt it too bitter. In spite of her triumph and her
justification — when her first terror and stupefaction had passed and she could
understand it all clearly — the feeling of her helplessness and of the wrong done to
her made her heart throb with anguish and she was overcome with hysterical
weeping. At last, unable to bear any more, she rushed out of the room and ran
home, almost immediately after Luzhin’s departure. When amidst loud laughter
the glass flew at Amalia Ivanovna, it was more than the landlady could endure.
With a shriek she rushed like a fury at Katerina Ivanovna, considering her to
blame for everything.

“Out of my lodgings! At once! Quick march!”

And with these words she began snatching up everything she could lay her
hands on that belonged to Katerina Ivanovna, and throwing it on the floor.
Katerina Ivanovna, pale, almost fainting, and gasping for breath, jumped up from
the bed where she had sunk in exhaustion and darted at Amalia Ivanovna. But the
battle was too unequal: the landlady waved her away like a feather.

“What! As though that godless calumny was not enough — this vile creature
attacks me! What! On the day of my husband’s funeral I am turned out of my
lodging! After eating my bread and salt she turns me into the street, with my
orphans! Where am I to go?” wailed the poor woman, sobbing and gasping. “Good
God!” she cried with flashing eyes, “is there no justice upon earth? Whom should
you protect if not us orphans? We shall see! There is law and justice on earth,
there is, I will find it! Wait a bit, godless creature! Polenka, stay with the children,
I’ll come back. Wait for me, if you have to wait in the street. We will see whether
there is justice on earth!”

And throwing over her head that green shawl which Marmeladov had
mentioned to Raskolnikov, Katerina Ivanovna squeezed her way through the
disorderly and drunken crowd of lodgers who still filled the room, and, wailing
and tearful, she ran into the street — with a vague intention of going at once
somewhere to find justice. Polenka with the two little ones in her arms crouched,
terrified, on the trunk in the corner of the room, where she waited trembling for
her mother to come back. Amalia Ivanovna raged about the room, shrieking,
lamenting and throwing everything she came across on the floor. The lodgers
talked incoherently, some commented to the best of their ability on what had
happened, others quarrelled and swore at one another, while others struck up a
song . . . .
“Now it’s time for me to go,” thought Raskolnikov. “Well, Sofya Semyonovna,
we shall see what you’ll say now!”

And he set off in the direction of Sonia’s lodgings.

 CHAPTER IV

Raskolnikov had been a vigorous and active champion of Sonia against Luzhin,
although he had such a load of horror and anguish in his own heart. But having
gone through so much in the morning, he found a sort of relief in a change of
sensations, apart from the strong personal feeling which impelled him to defend
Sonia. He was agitated too, especially at some moments, by the thought of his
approaching interview with Sonia: he had to tell her who had killed Lizaveta. He
knew the terrible suffering it would be to him and, as it were, brushed away the
thought of it. So when he cried as he left Katerina Ivanovna’s, “Well, Sofya
Semyonovna, we shall see what you’ll say now!” he was still superficially excited,
still vigorous and defiant from his triumph over Luzhin. But, strange to say, by the
time he reached Sonia’s lodging, he felt a sudden impotence and fear. He stood
still in hesitation at the door, asking himself the strange question: “Must he tell
her who killed Lizaveta?” It was a strange question because he felt at the very time
not only that he could not help telling her, but also that he could not put off the
telling. He did not yet know why it must be so, he only felt it, and the agonising
sense of his impotence before the inevitable almost crushed him. To cut short his
hesitation and suffering, he quickly opened the door and looked at Sonia from the
doorway. She was sitting with her elbows on the table and her face in her hands,
but seeing Raskolnikov she got up at once and came to meet him as though she
were expecting him.
“What would have become of me but for you?” she said quickly, meeting him
in the middle of the room.

Evidently she was in haste to say this to him. It was what she had been
waiting for.
Raskolnikov went to the table and sat down on the chair from which she had
only just risen. She stood facing him, two steps away, just as she had done the day
before.
“Well, Sonia?” he said, and felt that his voice was trembling, “it was all due to
‘your social position and the habits associated with it.’ Did you understand that
just now?”

Her face showed her distress.

 “Only don’t talk to me as you did yesterday,” she interrupted him. “Please
don’t begin it. There is misery enough without that.”
She made haste to smile, afraid that he might not like the reproach.
“I was silly to come away from there. What is happening there now? I wanted
to go back directly, but I kept thinking that . . . you would come.”
He told her that Amalia Ivanovna was turning them out of their lodging and
that Katerina Ivanovna had run off somewhere “to seek justice.”

“My God!” cried Sonia, “let’s go at once . . . .”

And she snatched up her cape.
“It’s everlastingly the same thing!” said Raskolnikov, irritably. “You’ve no
thought except for them! Stay a little with me.”

“But . . . Katerina Ivanovna?”

“You won’t lose Katerina Ivanovna, you may be sure, she’ll come to you
herself since she has run out,” he added peevishly. “If she doesn’t find you here,
you’ll be blamed for it . . . .”

Sonia sat down in painful suspense. Raskolnikov was silent, gazing at the
floor and deliberating.
“This time Luzhin did not want to prosecute you,” he began, not looking at
Sonia, “but if he had wanted to, if it had suited his plans, he would have sent you
to prison if it had not been for Lebeziatnikov and me. Ah?”

“Yes,” she assented in a faint voice. “Yes,” she repeated, preoccupied and
distressed.

“But I might easily not have been there. And it was quite an accident
Lebeziatnikov’s turning up.”

Sonia was silent.

“And if you’d gone to prison, what then? Do you remember what I said
yesterday?”

Again she did not answer. He waited.

“I thought you would cry out again ‘don’t speak of it, leave off.’” Raskolnikov
gave a laugh, but rather a forced one. “What, silence again?” he asked a minute
later. “We must talk about something, you know. It would be interesting for me to
know how you would decide a certain ‘problem’ as Lebeziatnikov would say.” (He
was beginning to lose the thread.) “No, really, I am serious. Imagine, Sonia, that
you had known all Luzhin’s intentions beforehand. Known, that is, for a fact, that
they would be the ruin of Katerina Ivanovna and the children and yourself thrown
in — since you don’t count yourself for anything — Polenka too . . . for she’ll go the
same way. Well, if suddenly it all depended on your decision whether he or they
should go on living, that is whether Luzhin should go on living and doing wicked
things, or Katerina Ivanovna should die? How would you decide which of them
was to die? I ask you?”

Sonia looked uneasily at him. There was something peculiar in this hesitating
question, which seemed approaching something in a roundabout way.

“I felt that you were going to ask some question like that,” she said, looking
inquisitively at him.

“I dare say you did. But how is it to be answered?”

“Why do you ask about what could not happen?” said Sonia reluctantly.

“Then it would be better for Luzhin to go on living and doing wicked things?
You haven’t dared to decide even that!”

“But I can’t know the Divine Providence. . . . And why do you ask what can’t
be answered? What’s the use of such foolish questions? How could it happen that
it should depend on my decision — who has made me a judge to decide who is to
live and who is not to live?”
“Oh, if the Divine Providence is to be mixed up in it, there is no doing
anything,” Raskolnikov grumbled morosely.

“You’d better say straight out what you want!” Sonia cried in distress. “You
are leading up to something again. . . . Can you have come simply to torture me?”

She could not control herself and began crying bitterly. He looked at her in
gloomy misery. Five minutes passed.

“Of course you’re right, Sonia,” he said softly at last. He was suddenly
changed. His tone of assumed arrogance and helpless defiance was gone. Even his
voice was suddenly weak. “I told you yesterday that I was not coming to ask
forgiveness and almost the first thing I’ve said is to ask forgiveness. . . . I said that
about Luzhin and Providence for my own sake. I was asking forgiveness, Sonia . . .
.”

He tried to smile, but there was something helpless and incomplete in his pale
smile. He bowed his head and hid his face in his hands.
And suddenly a strange, surprising sensation of a sort of bitter hatred for
Sonia passed through his heart. As it were wondering and frightened of this
sensation, he raised his head and looked intently at her; but he met her uneasy
and painfully anxious eyes fixed on him; there was love in them; his hatred
vanished like a phantom. It was not the real feeling; he had taken the one feeling
for the other. It only meant that that minute had come.
He hid his face in his hands again and bowed his head. Suddenly he turned
pale, got up from his chair, looked at Sonia, and without uttering a word sat down
mechanically on her bed.

His sensations that moment were terribly like the moment when he had stood
over the old woman with the axe in his hand and felt that “he must not lose
another minute.”
“What’s the matter?” asked Sonia, dreadfully frightened.

He could not utter a word. This was not at all, not at all the way he had
intended to “tell” and he did not understand what was happening to him now. She
went up to him, softly, sat down on the bed beside him and waited, not taking her
eyes off him. Her heart throbbed and sank. It was unendurable; he turned his
deadly pale face to her. His lips worked, helplessly struggling to utter something.
A pang of terror passed through Sonia’s heart.

“What’s the matter?” she repeated, drawing a little away from him.
“Nothing, Sonia, don’t be frightened. . . . It’s nonsense. It really is nonsense, if
you think of it,” he muttered, like a man in delirium. “Why have I come to torture
you?” he added suddenly, looking at her. “Why, really? I keep asking myself that
question, Sonia . . . .”

He had perhaps been asking himself that question a quarter of an hour

before, but now he spoke helplessly, hardly knowing what he said and feeling a
continual tremor all over.
“Oh, how you are suffering!” she muttered in distress, looking intently at him.
 “It’s all nonsense. . . . Listen, Sonia.” He suddenly smiled, a pale helpless
smile for two seconds. “You remember what I meant to tell you yesterday?”

Sonia waited uneasily.

“I said as I went away that perhaps I was saying good-bye for ever, but that if
I came to-day I would tell you who . . . who killed Lizaveta.”
She began trembling all over.
“Well, here I’ve come to tell you.”

“Then you really meant it yesterday?” she whispered with difficulty. “How do
you know?” she asked quickly, as though suddenly regaining her reason.

Sonia’s face grew paler and paler, and she breathed painfully.
“I know.”
She paused a minute.

“Have they found him?” she asked timidly.

“No.”
“Then how do you know about it?” she asked again, hardly audibly and again
after a minute’s pause.
He turned to her and looked very intently at her.

“Guess,” he said, with the same distorted helpless smile.

A shudder passed over her.
“But you . . . why do you frighten me like this?” she said, smiling like a child.

“I must be a great friend of his . . . since I know,” Raskolnikov went on, still
gazing into her face, as though he could not turn his eyes away. “He . . . did not
mean to kill that Lizaveta . . . he . . . killed her accidentally . . . . He meant to kill
the old woman when she was alone and he went there . . . and then Lizaveta came
in . . . he killed her too.”
Another awful moment passed. Both still gazed at one another.

“You can’t guess, then?” he asked suddenly, feeling as though he were flinging
himself down from a steeple.
“N-no …” whispered Sonia.
 “Take a good look.”
As soon as he had said this again, the same familiar sensation froze his heart.
He looked at her and all at once seemed to see in her face the face of Lizaveta. He
remembered clearly the expression in Lizaveta’s face, when he approached her
with the axe and she stepped back to the wall, putting out her hand, with childish
terror in her face, looking as little children do when they begin to be frightened of
something, looking intently and uneasily at what frightens them, shrinking back
and holding out their little hands on the point of crying. Almost the same thing
happened now to Sonia. With the same helplessness and the same terror, she
looked at him for a while and, suddenly putting out her left hand, pressed her
fingers faintly against his breast and slowly began to get up from the bed, moving
further from him and keeping her eyes fixed even more immovably on him. Her
terror infected him. The same fear showed itself on his face. In the same way he
stared at her and almost with the same childish smile.
“Have you guessed?” he whispered at last.

“Good God!” broke in an awful wail from her bosom.

She sank helplessly on the bed with her face in the pillows, but a moment
later she got up, moved quickly to him, seized both his hands and, gripping them
tight in her thin fingers, began looking into his face again with the same intent
stare. In this last desperate look she tried to look into him and catch some last
hope. But there was no hope; there was no doubt remaining; it was all true! Later
on, indeed, when she recalled that moment, she thought it strange and wondered
why she had seen at once that there was no doubt. She could not have said, for
instance, that she had foreseen something of the sort — and yet now, as soon as he
told her, she suddenly fancied that she had really foreseen this very thing.

“Stop, Sonia, enough! don’t torture me,” he begged her miserably.

It was not at all, not at all like this he had thought of telling her, but this is
how it happened.

She jumped up, seeming not to know what she was doing, and, wringing her
hands, walked into the middle of the room; but quickly went back and sat down
again beside him, her shoulder almost touching his. All of a sudden she started as
though she had been stabbed, uttered a cry and fell on her knees before him, she
did not know why.
 “What have you done — what have you done to yourself?” she said in despair,
and, jumping up, she flung herself on his neck, threw her arms round him, and
held him tightly.

Raskolnikov drew back and looked at her with a mournful smile.

“You are a strange girl, Sonia — you kiss me and hug me when I tell you about
that. . . . You don’t think what you are doing.”

“There is no one — no one in the whole world now so unhappy as you!” she
cried in a frenzy, not hearing what he said, and she suddenly broke into violent
hysterical weeping.

A feeling long unfamiliar to him flooded his heart and softened it at once. He
did not struggle against it. Two tears started into his eyes and hung on his
eyelashes.
“Then you won’t leave me, Sonia?” he said, looking at her almost with hope.

“No, no, never, nowhere!” cried Sonia. “I will follow you, I will follow you
everywhere. Oh, my God! Oh, how miserable I am! . . . Why, why didn’t I know
you before! Why didn’t you come before? Oh, dear!”
“Here I have come.”

“Yes, now! What’s to be done now? . . . Together, together!” she repeated as it

were unconsciously, and she hugged him again. “I’ll follow you to Siberia!”
He recoiled at this, and the same hostile, almost haughty smile came to his
lips.

“Perhaps I don’t want to go to Siberia yet, Sonia,” he said.

Sonia looked at him quickly.

Again after her first passionate, agonising sympathy for the unhappy man the
terrible idea of the murder overwhelmed her. In his changed tone she seemed to
hear the murderer speaking. She looked at him bewildered. She knew nothing as
yet, why, how, with what object it had been. Now all these questions rushed at
once into her mind. And again she could not believe it: “He, he is a murderer!
Could it be true?”

“What’s the meaning of it? Where am I?” she said in complete bewilderment,
as though still unable to recover herself. “How could you, you, a man like you. . . .
How could you bring yourself to it? . . . What does it mean?”

“Oh, well — to plunder. Leave off, Sonia,” he answered wearily, almost with
vexation.
Sonia stood as though struck dumb, but suddenly she cried:

“You were hungry! It was . . . to help your mother? Yes?”

“No, Sonia, no,” he muttered, turning away and hanging his head. “I was not
so hungry. . . . I certainly did want to help my mother, but . . . that’s not the real
thing either. . . . Don’t torture me, Sonia.”

Sonia clasped her hands.

“Could it, could it all be true? Good God, what a truth! Who could believe it?
And how could you give away your last farthing and yet rob and murder! Ah,” she
cried suddenly, “that money you gave Katerina Ivanovna . . . that money. . . . Can
that money …”
“No, Sonia,” he broke in hurriedly, “that money was not it. Don’t worry
yourself! That money my mother sent me and it came when I was ill, the day I
gave it to you. . . . Razumihin saw it . . . he received it for me. . . . That money was
mine — my own.”
Sonia listened to him in bewilderment and did her utmost to comprehend.

“And that money. . . . I don’t even know really whether there was any money,”
he added softly, as though reflecting. “I took a purse off her neck, made of chamois
leather . . . a purse stuffed full of something . . . but I didn’t look in it; I suppose I
hadn’t time. . . . And the things — chains and trinkets — I buried under a stone
with the purse next morning in a yard off the V—— Prospect. They are all there
now. . . . .”

Sonia strained every nerve to listen.

“Then why . . . why, you said you did it to rob, but you took nothing?” she
asked quickly, catching at a straw.

“I don’t know. . . . I haven’t yet decided whether to take that money or not,” he
said, musing again; and, seeming to wake up with a start, he gave a brief ironical
smile. “Ach, what silly stuff I am talking, eh?”

The thought flashed through Sonia’s mind, wasn’t he mad? But she dismissed
it at once. “No, it was something else.” She could make nothing of it, nothing.
“Do you know, Sonia,” he said suddenly with conviction, “let me tell you: if I’d
simply killed because I was hungry,” laying stress on every word and looking
enigmatically but sincerely at her, “I should be happy now. You must believe that!
What would it matter to you,” he cried a moment later with a sort of despair,
“what would it matter to you if I were to confess that I did wrong? What do you
gain by such a stupid triumph over me? Ah, Sonia, was it for that I’ve come to you
to-day?”

Again Sonia tried to say something, but did not speak.

“I asked you to go with me yesterday because you are all I have left.”

“Go where?” asked Sonia timidly.

“Not to steal and not to murder, don’t be anxious,” he smiled bitterly. “We are
so different. . . . And you know, Sonia, it’s only now, only this moment that I
understand where I asked you to go with me yesterday! Yesterday when I said it I
did not know where. I asked you for one thing, I came to you for one thing — not
to leave me. You won’t leave me, Sonia?”
She squeezed his hand.

“And why, why did I tell her? Why did I let her know?” he cried a minute later
in despair, looking with infinite anguish at her. “Here you expect an explanation
from me, Sonia; you are sitting and waiting for it, I see that. But what can I tell
you? You won’t understand and will only suffer misery . . . on my account! Well,
you are crying and embracing me again. Why do you do it? Because I couldn’t bear
my burden and have come to throw it on another: you suffer too, and I shall feel
better! And can you love such a mean wretch?”
“But aren’t you suffering, too?” cried Sonia.

Again a wave of the same feeling surged into his heart, and again for an
instant softened it.
“Sonia, I have a bad heart, take note of that. It may explain a great deal. I have
come because I am bad. There are men who wouldn’t have come. But I am a
coward and . . . a mean wretch. But . . . never mind! That’s not the point. I must
speak now, but I don’t know how to begin.”
He paused and sank into thought.
 “Ach, we are so different,” he cried again, “we are not alike. And why, why did
I come? I shall never forgive myself that.”

“No, no, it was a good thing you came,” cried Sonia. “It’s better I should know,
far better!”

He looked at her with anguish.

“What if it were really that?” he said, as though reaching a conclusion. “Yes,

that’s what it was! I wanted to become a Napoleon, that is why I killed her. . . . Do
you understand now?”

“N-no,” Sonia whispered naïvely and timidly. “Only speak, speak, I shall
understand, I shall understand in myself!” she kept begging him.

“You’ll understand? Very well, we shall see!” He paused and was for some
time lost in meditation.

“It was like this: I asked myself one day this question — what if Napoleon, for
instance, had happened to be in my place, and if he had not had Toulon nor Egypt
nor the passage of Mont Blanc to begin his career with, but instead of all those
picturesque and monumental things, there had simply been some ridiculous old
hag, a pawnbroker, who had to be murdered too to get money from her trunk (for
his career, you understand). Well, would he have brought himself to that if there
had been no other means? Wouldn’t he have felt a pang at its being so far from
monumental and . . . and sinful, too? Well, I must tell you that I worried myself
fearfully over that ‘question’ so that I was awfully ashamed when I guessed at last
(all of a sudden, somehow) that it would not have given him the least pang, that it
would not even have struck him that it was not monumental . . . that he would not
have seen that there was anything in it to pause over, and that, if he had had no
other way, he would have strangled her in a minute without thinking about it!
Well, I too . . . left off thinking about it . . . murdered her, following his example.
And that’s exactly how it was! Do you think it funny? Yes, Sonia, the funniest thing
of all is that perhaps that’s just how it was.”

Sonia did not think it at all funny.

“You had better tell me straight out . . . without examples,” she begged, still
more timidly and scarcely audibly.

He turned to her, looked sadly at her and took her hands.

 “You are right again, Sonia. Of course that’s all nonsense, it’s almost all talk!
You see, you know of course that my mother has scarcely anything, my sister
happened to have a good education and was condemned to drudge as a governess.
All their hopes were centered on me. I was a student, but I couldn’t keep myself at
the university and was forced for a time to leave it. Even if I had lingered on like
that, in ten or twelve years I might (with luck) hope to be some sort of teacher or
clerk with a salary of a thousand roubles” (he repeated it as though it were a
lesson) “and by that time my mother would be worn out with grief and anxiety and
I could not succeed in keeping her in comfort while my sister . . . well, my sister
might well have fared worse! And it’s a hard thing to pass everything by all one’s
life, to turn one’s back upon everything, to forget one’s mother and decorously
accept the insults inflicted on one’s sister. Why should one? When one has buried
them to burden oneself with others — wife and children — and to leave them again
without a farthing? So I resolved to gain possession of the old woman’s money and
to use it for my first years without worrying my mother, to keep myself at the
university and for a little while after leaving it — and to do this all on a broad,
thorough scale, so as to build up a completely new career and enter upon a new
life of independence. . . . Well . . . that’s all. . . . Well, of course in killing the old
woman I did wrong. . . . Well, that’s enough.”
He struggled to the end of his speech in exhaustion and let his head sink.

“Oh, that’s not it, that’s not it,” Sonia cried in distress. “How could one . . . no,
that’s not right, not right.”
“You see yourself that it’s not right. But I’ve spoken truly, it’s the truth.”

“As though that could be the truth! Good God!”

“I’ve only killed a louse, Sonia, a useless, loathsome, harmful creature.”

“A human being — a louse!”

“I too know it wasn’t a louse,” he answered, looking strangely at her. “But I

am talking nonsense, Sonia,” he added. “I’ve been talking nonsense a long time.
. . . That’s not it, you are right there. There were quite, quite other causes for it! I
haven’t talked to anyone for so long, Sonia. . . . My head aches dreadfully now.”

His eyes shone with feverish brilliance. He was almost delirious; an uneasy
smile strayed on his lips. His terrible exhaustion could be seen through his
excitement. Sonia saw how he was suffering. She too was growing dizzy. And he
talked so strangely; it seemed somehow comprehensible, but yet . . . “But how,
how! Good God!” And she wrung her hands in despair.

“No, Sonia, that’s not it,” he began again suddenly, raising his head, as though
a new and sudden train of thought had struck and as it were roused him —“that’s
not it! Better . . . imagine — yes, it’s certainly better — imagine that I am vain,
envious, malicious, base, vindictive and . . . well, perhaps with a tendency to
insanity. (Let’s have it all out at once! They’ve talked of madness already, I
noticed.) I told you just now I could not keep myself at the university. But do you
know that perhaps I might have done? My mother would have sent me what I
needed for the fees and I could have earned enough for clothes, boots and food, no
doubt. Lessons had turned up at half a rouble. Razumihin works! But I turned
sulky and wouldn’t. (Yes, sulkiness, that’s the right word for it!) I sat in my room
like a spider. You’ve been in my den, you’ve seen it. . . . And do you know, Sonia,
that low ceilings and tiny rooms cramp the soul and the mind? Ah, how I hated
that garret! And yet I wouldn’t go out of it! I wouldn’t on purpose! I didn’t go out
for days together, and I wouldn’t work, I wouldn’t even eat, I just lay there doing
nothing. If Nastasya brought me anything, I ate it, if she didn’t, I went all day
without; I wouldn’t ask, on purpose, from sulkiness! At night I had no light, I lay
in the dark and I wouldn’t earn money for candles. I ought to have studied, but I
sold my books; and the dust lies an inch thick on the notebooks on my table. I
preferred lying still and thinking. And I kept thinking. . . . And I had dreams all
the time, strange dreams of all sorts, no need to describe! Only then I began to
fancy that . . . No, that’s not it! Again I am telling you wrong! You see I kept asking
myself then: why am I so stupid that if others are stupid — and I know they are —
yet I won’t be wiser? Then I saw, Sonia, that if one waits for everyone to get wiser
it will take too long. . . . Afterwards I understood that that would never come to
pass, that men won’t change and that nobody can alter it and that it’s not worth
wasting effort over it. Yes, that’s so. That’s the law of their nature, Sonia, . . . that’s
so! . . . And I know now, Sonia, that whoever is strong in mind and spirit will have
power over them. Anyone who is greatly daring is right in their eyes. He who
despises most things will be a lawgiver among them and he who dares most of all
will be most in the right! So it has been till now and so it will always be. A man
must be blind not to see it!”

Though Raskolnikov looked at Sonia as he said this, he no longer cared

whether she understood or not. The fever had complete hold of him; he was in a
sort of gloomy ecstasy (he certainly had been too long without talking to anyone).
Sonia felt that his gloomy creed had become his faith and code.

“I divined then, Sonia,” he went on eagerly, “that power is only vouchsafed to

the man who dares to stoop and pick it up. There is only one thing, one thing
needful: one has only to dare! Then for the first time in my life an idea took shape
in my mind which no one had ever thought of before me, no one! I saw clear as
daylight how strange it is that not a single person living in this mad world has had
the daring to go straight for it all and send it flying to the devil! I . . . I wanted to
have the daring . . . and I killed her. I only wanted to have the daring, Sonia! That
was the whole cause of it!”

“Oh hush, hush,” cried Sonia, clasping her hands. “You turned away from God
and God has smitten you, has given you over to the devil!”

“Then Sonia, when I used to lie there in the dark and all this became clear to
me, was it a temptation of the devil, eh?”

“Hush, don’t laugh, blasphemer! You don’t understand, you don’t

understand! Oh God! He won’t understand!”
“Hush, Sonia! I am not laughing. I know myself that it was the devil leading
me. Hush, Sonia, hush!” he repeated with gloomy insistence. “I know it all, I have
thought it all over and over and whispered it all over to myself, lying there in the
dark. . . . I’ve argued it all over with myself, every point of it, and I know it all, all!
And how sick, how sick I was then of going over it all! I have kept wanting to
forget it and make a new beginning, Sonia, and leave off thinking. And you don’t
suppose that I went into it headlong like a fool? I went into it like a wise man, and
that was just my destruction. And you mustn’t suppose that I didn’t know, for
instance, that if I began to question myself whether I had the right to gain power
— I certainly hadn’t the right — or that if I asked myself whether a human being is
a louse it proved that it wasn’t so for me, though it might be for a man who would
go straight to his goal without asking questions. . . . If I worried myself all those
days, wondering whether Napoleon would have done it or not, I felt clearly of
course that I wasn’t Napoleon. I had to endure all the agony of that battle of ideas,
Sonia, and I longed to throw it off: I wanted to murder without casuistry, to
murder for my own sake, for myself alone! I didn’t want to lie about it even to
myself. It wasn’t to help my mother I did the murder — that’s nonsense — I didn’t
do the murder to gain wealth and power and to become a benefactor of mankind.
Nonsense! I simply did it; I did the murder for myself, for myself alone, and
whether I became a benefactor to others, or spent my life like a spider catching
men in my web and sucking the life out of men, I couldn’t have cared at that
moment. . . . And it was not the money I wanted, Sonia, when I did it. It was not so
much the money I wanted, but something else. . . . I know it all now. . . .
Understand me! Perhaps I should never have committed a murder again. I wanted
to find out something else; it was something else led me on. I wanted to find out
then and quickly whether I was a louse like everybody else or a man. Whether I
can step over barriers or not, whether I dare stoop to pick up or not, whether I am
a trembling creature or whether I have the right …”

“To kill? Have the right to kill?” Sonia clasped her hands.
“Ach, Sonia!” he cried irritably and seemed about to make some retort, but
was contemptuously silent. “Don’t interrupt me, Sonia. I want to prove one thing
only, that the devil led me on then and he has shown me since that I had not the
right to take that path, because I am just such a louse as all the rest. He was
mocking me and here I’ve come to you now! Welcome your guest! If I were not a
louse, should I have come to you? Listen: when I went then to the old woman’s I
only went to try. . . . You may be sure of that!”

“And you murdered her!”

“But how did I murder her? Is that how men do murders? Do men go to
commit a murder as I went then? I will tell you some day how I went! Did I
murder the old woman? I murdered myself, not her! I crushed myself once for all,
for ever. . . . But it was the devil that killed that old woman, not I. Enough, enough,
Sonia, enough! Let me be!” he cried in a sudden spasm of agony, “let me be!”

He leaned his elbows on his knees and squeezed his head in his hands as in a
vise.

“What suffering!” A wail of anguish broke from Sonia.

“Well, what am I to do now?” he asked, suddenly raising his head and looking
at her with a face hideously distorted by despair.

“What are you to do?” she cried, jumping up, and her eyes that had been full
of tears suddenly began to shine. “Stand up!” (She seized him by the shoulder, he
got up, looking at her almost bewildered.) “Go at once, this very minute, stand at
the cross-roads, bow down, first kiss the earth which you have defiled and then
bow down to all the world and say to all men aloud, ‘I am a murderer!’ Then God
will send you life again. Will you go, will you go?” she asked him, trembling all
over, snatching his two hands, squeezing them tight in hers and gazing at him with
eyes full of fire.

He was amazed at her sudden ecstasy.

“You mean Siberia, Sonia? I must give myself up?” he asked gloomily.

“Suffer and expiate your sin by it, that’s what you must do.”

“No! I am not going to them, Sonia!”

“But how will you go on living? What will you live for?” cried Sonia, “how is it
possible now? Why, how can you talk to your mother? (Oh, what will become of
them now?) But what am I saying? You have abandoned your mother and your
sister already. He has abandoned them already! Oh, God!” she cried, “why, he
knows it all himself. How, how can he live by himself! What will become of you
now?”

“Don’t be a child, Sonia,” he said softly. “What wrong have I done them? Why
should I go to them? What should I say to them? That’s only a phantom. . . . They
destroy men by millions themselves and look on it as a virtue. They are knaves and
scoundrels, Sonia! I am not going to them. And what should I say to them — that I
murdered her, but did not dare to take the money and hid it under a stone?” he
added with a bitter smile. “Why, they would laugh at me, and would call me a fool
for not getting it. A coward and a fool! They wouldn’t understand and they don’t
deserve to understand. Why should I go to them? I won’t. Don’t be a child, Sonia
. . . .”

“It will be too much for you to bear, too much!” she repeated, holding out her
hands in despairing supplication.

“Perhaps I’ve been unfair to myself,” he observed gloomily, pondering,

“perhaps after all I am a man and not a louse and I’ve been in too great a hurry to
condemn myself. I’ll make another fight for it.”
A haughty smile appeared on his lips.

“What a burden to bear! And your whole life, your whole life!”

“I shall get used to it,” he said grimly and thoughtfully. “Listen,” he began a
minute later, “stop crying, it’s time to talk of the facts: I’ve come to tell you that
the police are after me, on my track . . . .”

“Ach!” Sonia cried in terror.

“Well, why do you cry out? You want me to go to Siberia and now you are
frightened? But let me tell you: I shall not give myself up. I shall make a struggle
for it and they won’t do anything to me. They’ve no real evidence. Yesterday I was
in great danger and believed I was lost; but to-day things are going better. All the
facts they know can be explained two ways, that’s to say I can turn their
accusations to my credit, do you understand? And I shall, for I’ve learnt my lesson.
But they will certainly arrest me. If it had not been for something that happened,
they would have done so to-day for certain; perhaps even now they will arrest me
to-day. . . . But that’s no matter, Sonia; they’ll let me out again . . . for there isn’t
any real proof against me, and there won’t be, I give you my word for it. And they
can’t convict a man on what they have against me. Enough. . . . I only tell you that
you may know. . . . I will try to manage somehow to put it to my mother and sister
so that they won’t be frightened. . . . My sister’s future is secure, however, now, I
believe . . . and my mother’s must be too. . . . Well, that’s all. Be careful, though.
Will you come and see me in prison when I am there?”

“Oh, I will, I will.”

They sat side by side, both mournful and dejected, as though they had been
cast up by the tempest alone on some deserted shore. He looked at Sonia and felt
how great was her love for him, and strange to say he felt it suddenly burdensome
and painful to be so loved. Yes, it was a strange and awful sensation! On his way to
see Sonia he had felt that all his hopes rested on her; he expected to be rid of at
least part of his suffering, and now, when all her heart turned towards him, he
suddenly felt that he was immeasurably unhappier than before.

“Sonia,” he said, “you’d better not come and see me when I am in prison.”

Sonia did not answer, she was crying. Several minutes passed.
“Have you a cross on you?” she asked, as though suddenly thinking of it.

He did not at first understand the question.

“No, of course not. Here, take this one, of cypress wood. I have another, a
copper one that belonged to Lizaveta. I changed with Lizaveta: she gave me her
cross and I gave her my little ikon. I will wear Lizaveta’s now and give you this.
Take it . . . it’s mine! It’s mine, you know,” she begged him. “We will go to suffer
together, and together we will bear our cross!”
“Give it me,” said Raskolnikov.

He did not want to hurt her feelings. But immediately he drew back the hand
he held out for the cross.
“Not now, Sonia. Better later,” he added to comfort her.

“Yes, yes, better,” she repeated with conviction, “when you go to meet your
suffering, then put it on. You will come to me, I’ll put it on you, we will pray and go
together.”

At that moment someone knocked three times at the door.

“Sofya Semyonovna, may I come in?” they heard in a very familiar and polite
voice.

Sonia rushed to the door in a fright. The flaxen head of Mr. Lebeziatnikov
appeared at the door.
 CHAPTER V

Lebeziatnikov looked perturbed.

“I’ve come to you, Sofya Semyonovna,” he began. “Excuse me . . . I thought I
should find you,” he said, addressing Raskolnikov suddenly, “that is, I didn’t mean
anything . . . of that sort . . . But I just thought . . . Katerina Ivanovna has gone out
of her mind,” he blurted out suddenly, turning from Raskolnikov to Sonia.

Sonia screamed.

“At least it seems so. But . . . we don’t know what to do, you see! She came
back — she seems to have been turned out somewhere, perhaps beaten. . . . So it
seems at least, . . . She had run to your father’s former chief, she didn’t find him at
home: he was dining at some other general’s. . . . Only fancy, she rushed off there,
to the other general’s, and, imagine, she was so persistent that she managed to get
the chief to see her, had him fetched out from dinner, it seems. You can imagine
what happened. She was turned out, of course; but, according to her own story,
she abused him and threw something at him. One may well believe it. . . . How it is
she wasn’t taken up, I can’t understand! Now she is telling everyone, including
Amalia Ivanovna; but it’s difficult to understand her, she is screaming and flinging
herself about. . . . Oh yes, she shouts that since everyone has abandoned her, she
will take the children and go into the street with a barrel-organ, and the children
will sing and dance, and she too, and collect money, and will go every day under
the general’s window . . . ‘to let everyone see well-born children, whose father was
an official, begging in the street.’ She keeps beating the children and they are all
crying. She is teaching Lida to sing ‘My Village,’ the boy to dance, Polenka the
same. She is tearing up all the clothes, and making them little caps like actors; she
means to carry a tin basin and make it tinkle, instead of music. . . . She won’t listen
to anything. . . . Imagine the state of things! It’s beyond anything!”

Lebeziatnikov would have gone on, but Sonia, who had heard him almost
breathless, snatched up her cloak and hat, and ran out of the room, putting on her
things as she went. Raskolnikov followed her and Lebeziatnikov came after him.
“She has certainly gone mad!” he said to Raskolnikov, as they went out into
the street. “I didn’t want to frighten Sofya Semyonovna, so I said ‘it seemed like it,’
but there isn’t a doubt of it. They say that in consumption the tubercles sometimes
occur in the brain; it’s a pity I know nothing of medicine. I did try to persuade her,
but she wouldn’t listen.”
“Did you talk to her about the tubercles?”
“Not precisely of the tubercles. Besides, she wouldn’t have understood! But
what I say is, that if you convince a person logically that he has nothing to cry
about, he’ll stop crying. That’s clear. Is it your conviction that he won’t?”
“Life would be too easy if it were so,” answered Raskolnikov.

“Excuse me, excuse me; of course it would be rather difficult for Katerina
Ivanovna to understand, but do you know that in Paris they have been conducting
serious experiments as to the possibility of curing the insane, simply by logical
argument? One professor there, a scientific man of standing, lately dead, believed
in the possibility of such treatment. His idea was that there’s nothing really wrong
with the physical organism of the insane, and that insanity is, so to say, a logical
mistake, an error of judgment, an incorrect view of things. He gradually showed
the madman his error and, would you believe it, they say he was successful? But as
he made use of douches too, how far success was due to that treatment remains
uncertain. . . . So it seems at least.”

Raskolnikov had long ceased to listen. Reaching the house where he lived, he
nodded to Lebeziatnikov and went in at the gate. Lebeziatnikov woke up with a
start, looked about him and hurried on.

Raskolnikov went into his little room and stood still in the middle of it. Why
had he come back here? He looked at the yellow and tattered paper, at the dust, at
his sofa. . . . From the yard came a loud continuous knocking; someone seemed to
be hammering . . . He went to the window, rose on tiptoe and looked out into the
yard for a long time with an air of absorbed attention. But the yard was empty and
he could not see who was hammering. In the house on the left he saw some open
windows; on the window-sills were pots of sickly-looking geraniums. Linen was
hung out of the windows . . . He knew it all by heart. He turned away and sat down
on the sofa.

Never, never had he felt himself so fearfully alone!

Yes, he felt once more that he would perhaps come to hate Sonia, now that he
had made her more miserable.
 “Why had he gone to her to beg for her tears? What need had he to poison her
life? Oh, the meanness of it!”

“I will remain alone,” he said resolutely, “and she shall not come to the
prison!”

Five minutes later he raised his head with a strange smile. That was a strange
thought.
“Perhaps it really would be better in Siberia,” he thought suddenly.

He could not have said how long he sat there with vague thoughts surging
through his mind. All at once the door opened and Dounia came in. At first she
stood still and looked at him from the doorway, just as he had done at Sonia; then
she came in and sat down in the same place as yesterday, on the chair facing him.
He looked silently and almost vacantly at her.

“Don’t be angry, brother; I’ve only come for one minute,” said Dounia.

Her face looked thoughtful but not stern. Her eyes were bright and soft. He
saw that she too had come to him with love.
“Brother, now I know all, all. Dmitri Prokofitch has explained and told me
everything. They are worrying and persecuting you through a stupid and
contemptible suspicion. . . . Dmitri Prokofitch told me that there is no danger, and
that you are wrong in looking upon it with such horror. I don’t think so, and I fully
understand how indignant you must be, and that that indignation may have a
permanent effect on you. That’s what I am afraid of. As for your cutting yourself
off from us, I don’t judge you, I don’t venture to judge you, and forgive me for
having blamed you for it. I feel that I too, if I had so great a trouble, should keep
away from everyone. I shall tell mother nothing of this, but I shall talk about you
continually and shall tell her from you that you will come very soon. Don’t worry
about her; I will set her mind at rest; but don’t you try her too much — come once
at least; remember that she is your mother. And now I have come simply to say”
(Dounia began to get up) “that if you should need me or should need . . . all my life
or anything . . . call me, and I’ll come. Good-bye!”
She turned abruptly and went towards the door.

“Dounia!” Raskolnikov stopped her and went towards her. “That Razumihin,
Dmitri Prokofitch, is a very good fellow.”
 Dounia flushed slightly.
“Well?” she asked, waiting a moment.
“He is competent, hardworking, honest and capable of real love. . . . Good-
bye, Dounia.”
Dounia flushed crimson, then suddenly she took alarm.

“But what does it mean, brother? Are we really parting for ever that you . . .
give me such a parting message?”

“Never mind. . . . Good-bye.”

He turned away, and walked to the window. She stood a moment, looked at
him uneasily, and went out troubled.

No, he was not cold to her. There was an instant (the very last one) when he
had longed to take her in his arms and say good-bye to her, and even to tell her,
but he had not dared even to touch her hand.
“Afterwards she may shudder when she remembers that I embraced her, and
will feel that I stole her kiss.”
“And would she stand that test?” he went on a few minutes later to himself.
“No, she wouldn’t; girls like that can’t stand things! They never do.”
And he thought of Sonia.
There was a breath of fresh air from the window. The daylight was fading. He
took up his cap and went out.
He could not, of course, and would not consider how ill he was. But all this
continual anxiety and agony of mind could not but affect him. And if he were not
lying in high fever it was perhaps just because this continual inner strain helped to
keep him on his legs and in possession of his faculties. But this artificial
excitement could not last long.

He wandered aimlessly. The sun was setting. A special form of misery had
begun to oppress him of late. There was nothing poignant, nothing acute about it;
but there was a feeling of permanence, of eternity about it; it brought a foretaste of
hopeless years of this cold leaden misery, a foretaste of an eternity “on a square
yard of space.” Towards evening this sensation usually began to weigh on him
more heavily.
 “With this idiotic, purely physical weakness, depending on the sunset or
something, one can’t help doing something stupid! You’ll go to Dounia, as well as
to Sonia,” he muttered bitterly.
He heard his name called. He looked round. Lebeziatnikov rushed up to him.

“Only fancy, I’ve been to your room looking for you. Only fancy, she’s carried
out her plan, and taken away the children. Sofya Semyonovna and I have had a job
to find them. She is rapping on a frying-pan and making the children dance. The
children are crying. They keep stopping at the cross-roads and in front of shops;
there’s a crowd of fools running after them. Come along!”
“And Sonia?” Raskolnikov asked anxiously, hurrying after Lebeziatnikov.
“Simply frantic. That is, it’s not Sofya Semyonovna’s frantic, but Katerina
Ivanovna, though Sofya Semyonova’s frantic too. But Katerina Ivanovna is
absolutely frantic. I tell you she is quite mad. They’ll be taken to the police. You
can fancy what an effect that will have. . . . They are on the canal bank, near the
bridge now, not far from Sofya Semyonovna’s, quite close.”

On the canal bank near the bridge and not two houses away from the one
where Sonia lodged, there was a crowd of people, consisting principally of gutter
children. The hoarse broken voice of Katerina Ivanovna could be heard from the
bridge, and it certainly was a strange spectacle likely to attract a street crowd.
Katerina Ivanovna in her old dress with the green shawl, wearing a torn straw hat,
crushed in a hideous way on one side, was really frantic. She was exhausted and
breathless. Her wasted consumptive face looked more suffering than ever, and
indeed out of doors in the sunshine a consumptive always looks worse than at
home. But her excitement did not flag, and every moment her irritation grew more
intense. She rushed at the children, shouted at them, coaxed them, told them
before the crowd how to dance and what to sing, began explaining to them why it
was necessary, and driven to desperation by their not understanding, beat them.
. . . Then she would make a rush at the crowd; if she noticed any decently dressed
person stopping to look, she immediately appealed to him to see what these
children “from a genteel, one may say aristocratic, house” had been brought to. If
she heard laughter or jeering in the crowd, she would rush at once at the scoffers
and begin squabbling with them. Some people laughed, others shook their heads,
but everyone felt curious at the sight of the madwoman with the frightened
children. The frying-pan of which Lebeziatnikov had spoken was not there, at least
Raskolnikov did not see it. But instead of rapping on the pan, Katerina Ivanovna
began clapping her wasted hands, when she made Lida and Kolya dance and
Polenka sing. She too joined in the singing, but broke down at the second note
with a fearful cough, which made her curse in despair and even shed tears. What
made her most furious was the weeping and terror of Kolya and Lida. Some effort
had been made to dress the children up as street singers are dressed. The boy had
on a turban made of something red and white to look like a Turk. There had been
no costume for Lida; she simply had a red knitted cap, or rather a night cap that
had belonged to Marmeladov, decorated with a broken piece of white ostrich
feather, which had been Katerina Ivanovna’s grandmother’s and had been
preserved as a family possession. Polenka was in her everyday dress; she looked in
timid perplexity at her mother, and kept at her side, hiding her tears. She dimly
realised her mother’s condition, and looked uneasily about her. She was terribly
frightened of the street and the crowd. Sonia followed Katerina Ivanovna, weeping
and beseeching her to return home, but Katerina Ivanovna was not to be
persuaded.

“Leave off, Sonia, leave off,” she shouted, speaking fast, panting and
coughing. “You don’t know what you ask; you are like a child! I’ve told you before
that I am not coming back to that drunken German. Let everyone, let all
Petersburg see the children begging in the streets, though their father was an
honourable man who served all his life in truth and fidelity, and one may say died
in the service.” (Katerina Ivanovna had by now invented this fantastic story and
thoroughly believed it.) “Let that wretch of a general see it! And you are silly,
Sonia: what have we to eat? Tell me that. We have worried you enough, I won’t go
on so! Ah, Rodion Romanovitch, is that you?” she cried, seeing Raskolnikov and
rushing up to him. “Explain to this silly girl, please, that nothing better could be
done! Even organ-grinders earn their living, and everyone will see at once that we
are different, that we are an honourable and bereaved family reduced to beggary.
And that general will lose his post, you’ll see! We shall perform under his windows
every day, and if the Tsar drives by, I’ll fall on my knees, put the children before
me, show them to him, and say ‘Defend us father.’ He is the father of the
fatherless, he is merciful, he’ll protect us, you’ll see, and that wretch of a general.
. . . Lida, tenez vous droite! Kolya, you’ll dance again. Why are you whimpering?
Whimpering again! What are you afraid of, stupid? Goodness, what am I to do
with them, Rodion Romanovitch? If you only knew how stupid they are! What’s
one to do with such children?”
And she, almost crying herself — which did not stop her uninterrupted, rapid
flow of talk — pointed to the crying children. Raskolnikov tried to persuade her to
go home, and even said, hoping to work on her vanity, that it was unseemly for her
to be wandering about the streets like an organ-grinder, as she was intending to
become the principal of a boarding-school.

“A boarding-school, ha-ha-ha! A castle in the air,” cried Katerina Ivanovna,

her laugh ending in a cough. “No, Rodion Romanovitch, that dream is over! All
have forsaken us! . . . And that general. . . . You know, Rodion Romanovitch, I
threw an inkpot at him — it happened to be standing in the waiting-room by the
paper where you sign your name. I wrote my name, threw it at him and ran away.
Oh, the scoundrels, the scoundrels! But enough of them, now I’ll provide for the
children myself, I won’t bow down to anybody! She has had to bear enough for
us!” she pointed to Sonia. “Polenka, how much have you got? Show me! What,
only two farthings! Oh, the mean wretches! They give us nothing, only run after
us, putting their tongues out. There, what is that blockhead laughing at?” (She
pointed to a man in the crowd.) “It’s all because Kolya here is so stupid; I have
such a bother with him. What do you want, Polenka? Tell me in French, parlez-
moi français. Why, I’ve taught you, you know some phrases. Else how are you to
show that you are of good family, well brought-up children, and not at all like
other organ-grinders? We aren’t going to have a Punch and Judy show in the
street, but to sing a genteel song. . . . Ah, yes, . . . What are we to sing? You keep
putting me out, but we . . . you see, we are standing here, Rodion Romanovitch, to
find something to sing and get money, something Kolya can dance to. . . . For, as
you can fancy, our performance is all impromptu. . . . We must talk it over and
rehearse it all thoroughly, and then we shall go to Nevsky, where there are far
more people of good society, and we shall be noticed at once. Lida knows ‘My
Village’ only, nothing but ‘My Village,’ and everyone sings that. We must sing
something far more genteel. . . . Well, have you thought of anything, Polenka? If
only you’d help your mother! My memory’s quite gone, or I should have thought of
something. We really can’t sing ‘An Hussar.’ Ah, let us sing in French, ‘Cinq sous,’
I have taught it you, I have taught it you. And as it is in French, people will see at
once that you are children of good family, and that will be much more touching.
. . . You might sing ‘Marlborough s’en va-t-en guerre,’ for that’s quite a child’s song
and is sung as a lullaby in all the aristocratic houses.
 “Marlborough s’en va-t-en guerre
Ne sait quand reviendra …”

she began singing. “But no, better sing ‘Cinq sous.’ Now, Kolya, your hands on
your hips, make haste, and you, Lida, keep turning the other way, and Polenka
and I will sing and clap our hands!
“Cinq sous, cinq sous
Pour monter notre menage.”

(Cough-cough-cough!) “Set your dress straight, Polenka, it’s slipped down on your
shoulders,” she observed, panting from coughing. “Now it’s particularly necessary
to behave nicely and genteelly, that all may see that you are well-born children. I
said at the time that the bodice should be cut longer, and made of two widths. It
was your fault, Sonia, with your advice to make it shorter, and now you see the
child is quite deformed by it. . . . Why, you’re all crying again! What’s the matter,
stupids? Come, Kolya, begin. Make haste, make haste! Oh, what an unbearable
child!
“Cinq sous, cinq sous.

“A policeman again! What do you want?”

A policeman was indeed forcing his way through the crowd. But at that
moment a gentleman in civilian uniform and an overcoat — a solid-looking official
of about fifty with a decoration on his neck (which delighted Katerina Ivanovna
and had its effect on the policeman)— approached and without a word handed her
a green three-rouble note. His face wore a look of genuine sympathy. Katerina
Ivanovna took it and gave him a polite, even ceremonious, bow.
“I thank you, honoured sir,” she began loftily. “The causes that have induced
us (take the money, Polenka: you see there are generous and honourable people
who are ready to help a poor gentlewoman in distress). You see, honoured sir,
these orphans of good family — I might even say of aristocratic connections — and
that wretch of a general sat eating grouse . . . and stamped at my disturbing him.
‘Your excellency,’ I said, ‘protect the orphans, for you knew my late husband,
Semyon Zaharovitch, and on the very day of his death the basest of scoundrels
slandered his only daughter.’ . . . That policeman again! Protect me,” she cried to
the official. “Why is that policeman edging up to me? We have only just run away
from one of them. What do you want, fool?”

“It’s forbidden in the streets. You mustn’t make a disturbance.”

 “It’s you’re making a disturbance. It’s just the same as if I were grinding an
organ. What business is it of yours?”

“You have to get a licence for an organ, and you haven’t got one, and in that
way you collect a crowd. Where do you lodge?”

“What, a license?” wailed Katerina Ivanovna. “I buried my husband to-day.

What need of a license?”

“Calm yourself, madam, calm yourself,” began the official. “Come along; I will
escort you. . . . This is no place for you in the crowd. You are ill.”
“Honoured sir, honoured sir, you don’t know,” screamed Katerina Ivanovna.
“We are going to the Nevsky. . . . Sonia, Sonia! Where is she? She is crying too!
What’s the matter with you all? Kolya, Lida, where are you going?” she cried
suddenly in alarm. “Oh, silly children! Kolya, Lida, where are they off to? …”
Kolya and Lida, scared out of their wits by the crowd, and their mother’s mad
pranks, suddenly seized each other by the hand, and ran off at the sight of the
policeman who wanted to take them away somewhere. Weeping and wailing, poor
Katerina Ivanovna ran after them. She was a piteous and unseemly spectacle, as
she ran, weeping and panting for breath. Sonia and Polenka rushed after them.

“Bring them back, bring them back, Sonia! Oh stupid, ungrateful children! . . .
Polenka! catch them. . . . It’s for your sakes I …”

She stumbled as she ran and fell down.

“She’s cut herself, she’s bleeding! Oh, dear!” cried Sonia, bending over her.

All ran up and crowded around. Raskolnikov and Lebeziatnikov were the first
at her side, the official too hastened up, and behind him the policeman who
muttered, “Bother!” with a gesture of impatience, feeling that the job was going to
be a troublesome one.

“Pass on! Pass on!” he said to the crowd that pressed forward.

“She’s dying,” someone shouted.

“She’s gone out of her mind,” said another.

“Lord have mercy upon us,” said a woman, crossing herself. “Have they
caught the little girl and the boy? They’re being brought back, the elder one’s got
them. . . . Ah, the naughty imps!”
 When they examined Katerina Ivanovna carefully, they saw that she had not
cut herself against a stone, as Sonia thought, but that the blood that stained the
pavement red was from her chest.
“I’ve seen that before,” muttered the official to Raskolnikov and
Lebeziatnikov; “that’s consumption; the blood flows and chokes the patient. I saw
the same thing with a relative of my own not long ago . . . nearly a pint of blood, all
in a minute. . . . What’s to be done though? She is dying.”
“This way, this way, to my room!” Sonia implored. “I live here! . . . See, that
house, the second from here. . . . Come to me, make haste,” she turned from one to
the other. “Send for the doctor! Oh, dear!”

Thanks to the official’s efforts, this plan was adopted, the policeman even
helping to carry Katerina Ivanovna. She was carried to Sonia’s room, almost
unconscious, and laid on the bed. The blood was still flowing, but she seemed to
be coming to herself. Raskolnikov, Lebeziatnikov, and the official accompanied
Sonia into the room and were followed by the policeman, who first drove back the
crowd which followed to the very door. Polenka came in holding Kolya and Lida,
who were trembling and weeping. Several persons came in too from the
Kapernaumovs’ room; the landlord, a lame one-eyed man of strange appearance
with whiskers and hair that stood up like a brush, his wife, a woman with an
everlastingly scared expression, and several open-mouthed children with wonder-
struck faces. Among these, Svidrigaïlov suddenly made his appearance.
Raskolnikov looked at him with surprise, not understanding where he had come
from and not having noticed him in the crowd. A doctor and priest wore spoken
of. The official whispered to Raskolnikov that he thought it was too late now for
the doctor, but he ordered him to be sent for. Kapernaumov ran himself.

Meanwhile Katerina Ivanovna had regained her breath. The bleeding ceased
for a time. She looked with sick but intent and penetrating eyes at Sonia, who
stood pale and trembling, wiping the sweat from her brow with a handkerchief. At
last she asked to be raised. They sat her up on the bed, supporting her on both
sides.

“Where are the children?” she said in a faint voice. “You’ve brought them,
Polenka? Oh the sillies! Why did you run away. . . . Och!”

Once more her parched lips were covered with blood. She moved her eyes,
looking about her.

“So that’s how you live, Sonia! Never once have I been in your room.”
She looked at her with a face of suffering.

“We have been your ruin, Sonia. Polenka, Lida, Kolya, come here! Well, here
they are, Sonia, take them all! I hand them over to you, I’ve had enough! The ball
is over.” (Cough!) “Lay me down, let me die in peace.”

They laid her back on the pillow.

“What, the priest? I don’t want him. You haven’t got a rouble to spare. I have
no sins. God must forgive me without that. He knows how I have suffered. . . . And
if He won’t forgive me, I don’t care!”

She sank more and more into uneasy delirium. At times she shuddered,
turned her eyes from side to side, recognised everyone for a minute, but at once
sank into delirium again. Her breathing was hoarse and difficult, there was a sort
of rattle in her throat.

“I said to him, your excellency,” she ejaculated, gasping after each word.
“That Amalia Ludwigovna, ah! Lida, Kolya, hands on your hips, make haste!
Glissez, glissez! pas de basque! Tap with your heels, be a graceful child!
“Du hast Diamanten und Perlen

“What next? That’s the thing to sing.

“Du hast die schonsten Augen
Madchen, was willst du mehr?

“What an idea! Was willst du mehr? What things the fool invents! Ah, yes!
“In the heat of midday in the vale of Dagestan.

“Ah, how I loved it! I loved that song to distraction, Polenka! Your father, you
know, used to sing it when we were engaged. . . . Oh those days! Oh that’s the
thing for us to sing! How does it go? I’ve forgotten. Remind me! How was it?”

She was violently excited and tried to sit up. At last, in a horribly hoarse,
broken voice, she began, shrieking and gasping at every word, with a look of
growing terror.
“In the heat of midday! . . . in the vale! . . . of Dagestan! …
With lead in my breast! …”
“Your excellency!” she wailed suddenly with a heart-rending scream and a flood of
tears, “protect the orphans! You have been their father’s guest . . . one may say
aristocratic . . . .” She started, regaining consciousness, and gazed at all with a sort
of terror, but at once recognised Sonia.

“Sonia, Sonia!” she articulated softly and caressingly, as though surprised to

find her there. “Sonia darling, are you here, too?”

They lifted her up again.

“Enough! It’s over! Farewell, poor thing! I am done for! I am broken!” she
cried with vindictive despair, and her head fell heavily back on the pillow.

She sank into unconsciousness again, but this time it did not last long. Her
pale, yellow, wasted face dropped back, her mouth fell open, her leg moved
convulsively, she gave a deep, deep sigh and died.

Sonia fell upon her, flung her arms about her, and remained motionless with
her head pressed to the dead woman’s wasted bosom. Polenka threw herself at her
mother’s feet, kissing them and weeping violently. Though Kolya and Lida did not
understand what had happened, they had a feeling that it was something terrible;
they put their hands on each other’s little shoulders, stared straight at one another
and both at once opened their mouths and began screaming. They were both still
in their fancy dress; one in a turban, the other in the cap with the ostrich feather.

And how did “the certificate of merit” come to be on the bed beside Katerina
Ivanovna? It lay there by the pillow; Raskolnikov saw it.

He walked away to the window. Lebeziatnikov skipped up to him.

“She is dead,” he said.

“Rodion Romanovitch, I must have two words with you,” said Svidrigaïlov,
coming up to them.

Lebeziatnikov at once made room for him and delicately withdrew.

Svidrigaïlov drew Raskolnikov further away.

“I will undertake all the arrangements, the funeral and that. You know it’s a
question of money and, as I told you, I have plenty to spare. I will put those two
little ones and Polenka into some good orphan asylum, and I will settle fifteen
hundred roubles to be paid to each on coming of age, so that Sofya Semyonovna
need have no anxiety about them. And I will pull her out of the mud too, for she is
a good girl, isn’t she? So tell Avdotya Romanovna that that is how I am spending
her ten thousand.”

“What is your motive for such benevolence?” asked Raskolnikov.

“Ah! you sceptical person!” laughed Svidrigaïlov. “I told you I had no need of
that money. Won’t you admit that it’s simply done from humanity? She wasn’t ‘a
louse,’ you know” (he pointed to the corner where the dead woman lay), “was she,
like some old pawnbroker woman? Come, you’ll agree, is Luzhin to go on living,
and doing wicked things or is she to die? And if I didn’t help them, Polenka would
go the same way.”

He said this with an air of a sort of gay winking slyness, keeping his eyes fixed
on Raskolnikov, who turned white and cold, hearing his own phrases, spoken to
Sonia. He quickly stepped back and looked wildly at Svidrigaïlov.
“How do you know?” he whispered, hardly able to breathe.

“Why, I lodge here at Madame Resslich’s, the other side of the wall. Here is
Kapernaumov, and there lives Madame Resslich, an old and devoted friend of
mine. I am a neighbour.”

“You?”

“Yes,” continued Svidrigaïlov, shaking with laughter. “I assure you on my

honour, dear Rodion Romanovitch, that you have interested me enormously. I
told you we should become friends, I foretold it. Well, here we have. And you will
see what an accommodating person I am. You’ll see that you can get on with me!”
 PART VI

CHAPTER I

A strange period began for Raskolnikov: it was as though a fog had fallen upon
him and wrapped him in a dreary solitude from which there was no escape.
Recalling that period long after, he believed that his mind had been clouded at
times, and that it had continued so, with intervals, till the final catastrophe. He
was convinced that he had been mistaken about many things at that time, for
instance as to the date of certain events. Anyway, when he tried later on to piece
his recollections together, he learnt a great deal about himself from what other
people told him. He had mixed up incidents and had explained events as due to
circumstances which existed only in his imagination. At times he was a prey to
agonies of morbid uneasiness, amounting sometimes to panic. But he
remembered, too, moments, hours, perhaps whole days, of complete apathy,
which came upon him as a reaction from his previous terror and might be
compared with the abnormal insensibility, sometimes seen in the dying. He
seemed to be trying in that latter stage to escape from a full and clear
understanding of his position. Certain essential facts which required immediate
consideration were particularly irksome to him. How glad he would have been to
be free from some cares, the neglect of which would have threatened him with
complete, inevitable ruin.

He was particularly worried about Svidrigaïlov, he might be said to be

permanently thinking of Svidrigaïlov. From the time of Svidrigaïlov’s too
menacing and unmistakable words in Sonia’s room at the moment of Katerina
Ivanovna’s death, the normal working of his mind seemed to break down. But
although this new fact caused him extreme uneasiness, Raskolnikov was in no
hurry for an explanation of it. At times, finding himself in a solitary and remote
part of the town, in some wretched eating-house, sitting alone lost in thought,
hardly knowing how he had come there, he suddenly thought of Svidrigaïlov. He
recognised suddenly, clearly, and with dismay that he ought at once to come to an
understanding with that man and to make what terms he could. Walking outside
the city gates one day, he positively fancied that they had fixed a meeting there,
that he was waiting for Svidrigaïlov. Another time he woke up before daybreak
lying on the ground under some bushes and could not at first understand how he
had come there.
But during the two or three days after Katerina Ivanovna’s death, he had two
or three times met Svidrigaïlov at Sonia’s lodging, where he had gone aimlessly for
a moment. They exchanged a few words and made no reference to the vital
subject, as though they were tacitly agreed not to speak of it for a time.

Katerina Ivanovna’s body was still lying in the coffin, Svidrigaïlov was busy
making arrangements for the funeral. Sonia too was very busy. At their last
meeting Svidrigaïlov informed Raskolnikov that he had made an arrangement,
and a very satisfactory one, for Katerina Ivanovna’s children; that he had, through
certain connections, succeeded in getting hold of certain personages by whose
help the three orphans could be at once placed in very suitable institutions; that
the money he had settled on them had been of great assistance, as it is much
easier to place orphans with some property than destitute ones. He said
something too about Sonia and promised to come himself in a day or two to see
Raskolnikov, mentioning that “he would like to consult with him, that there were
things they must talk over . . . .”

This conversation took place in the passage on the stairs. Svidrigaïlov looked
intently at Raskolnikov and suddenly, after a brief pause, dropping his voice,
asked: “But how is it, Rodion Romanovitch; you don’t seem yourself? You look
and you listen, but you don’t seem to understand. Cheer up! We’ll talk things over;
I am only sorry, I’ve so much to do of my own business and other people’s. Ah,
Rodion Romanovitch,” he added suddenly, “what all men need is fresh air, fresh
air . . . more than anything!”

He moved to one side to make way for the priest and server, who were coming
up the stairs. They had come for the requiem service. By Svidrigaïlov’s orders it
was sung twice a day punctually. Svidrigaïlov went his way. Raskolnikov stood still
a moment, thought, and followed the priest into Sonia’s room. He stood at the
door. They began quietly, slowly and mournfully singing the service. From his
childhood the thought of death and the presence of death had something
oppressive and mysteriously awful; and it was long since he had heard the
requiem service. And there was something else here as well, too awful and
disturbing. He looked at the children: they were all kneeling by the coffin; Polenka
was weeping. Behind them Sonia prayed, softly and, as it were, timidly weeping.
 “These last two days she hasn’t said a word to me, she hasn’t glanced at me,”
Raskolnikov thought suddenly. The sunlight was bright in the room; the incense
rose in clouds; the priest read, “Give rest, oh Lord . . . .” Raskolnikov stayed all
through the service. As he blessed them and took his leave, the priest looked
round strangely. After the service, Raskolnikov went up to Sonia. She took both
his hands and let her head sink on his shoulder. This slight friendly gesture
bewildered Raskolnikov. It seemed strange to him that there was no trace of
repugnance, no trace of disgust, no tremor in her hand. It was the furthest limit of
self-abnegation, at least so he interpreted it.

Sonia said nothing. Raskolnikov pressed her hand and went out. He felt very
miserable. If it had been possible to escape to some solitude, he would have
thought himself lucky, even if he had to spend his whole life there. But although
he had almost always been by himself of late, he had never been able to feel alone.
Sometimes he walked out of the town on to the high road, once he had even
reached a little wood, but the lonelier the place was, the more he seemed to be
aware of an uneasy presence near him. It did not frighten him, but greatly
annoyed him, so that he made haste to return to the town, to mingle with the
crowd, to enter restaurants and taverns, to walk in busy thoroughfares. There he
felt easier and even more solitary. One day at dusk he sat for an hour listening to
songs in a tavern and he remembered that he positively enjoyed it. But at last he
had suddenly felt the same uneasiness again, as though his conscience smote him.
“Here I sit listening to singing, is that what I ought to be doing?” he thought. Yet
he felt at once that that was not the only cause of his uneasiness; there was
something requiring immediate decision, but it was something he could not
clearly understand or put into words. It was a hopeless tangle. “No, better the
struggle again! Better Porfiry again . . . or Svidrigaïlov . . . . Better some challenge
again . . . some attack. Yes, yes!” he thought. He went out of the tavern and rushed
away almost at a run. The thought of Dounia and his mother suddenly reduced
him almost to a panic. That night he woke up before morning among some bushes
in Krestovsky Island, trembling all over with fever; he walked home, and it was
early morning when he arrived. After some hours’ sleep the fever left him, but he
woke up late, two o’clock in the afternoon.
He remembered that Katerina Ivanovna’s funeral had been fixed for that day,
and was glad that he was not present at it. Nastasya brought him some food; he
ate and drank with appetite, almost with greediness. His head was fresher and he
was calmer than he had been for the last three days. He even felt a passing wonder
at his previous attacks of panic.

The door opened and Razumihin came in.

“Ah, he’s eating, then he’s not ill,” said Razumihin. He took a chair and sat
down at the table opposite Raskolnikov.

He was troubled and did not attempt to conceal it. He spoke with evident
annoyance, but without hurry or raising his voice. He looked as though he had
some special fixed determination.
“Listen,” he began resolutely. “As far as I am concerned, you may all go to
hell, but from what I see, it’s clear to me that I can’t make head or tail of it; please
don’t think I’ve come to ask you questions. I don’t want to know, hang it! If you
begin telling me your secrets, I dare say I shouldn’t stay to listen, I should go away
cursing. I have only come to find out once for all whether it’s a fact that you are
mad? There is a conviction in the air that you are mad or very nearly so. I admit
I’ve been disposed to that opinion myself, judging from your stupid, repulsive and
quite inexplicable actions, and from your recent behavior to your mother and
sister. Only a monster or a madman could treat them as you have; so you must be
mad.”
“When did you see them last?”

“Just now. Haven’t you seen them since then? What have you been doing with
yourself? Tell me, please. I’ve been to you three times already. Your mother has
been seriously ill since yesterday. She had made up her mind to come to you;
Avdotya Romanovna tried to prevent her; she wouldn’t hear a word. ‘If he is ill, if
his mind is giving way, who can look after him like his mother?’ she said. We all
came here together, we couldn’t let her come alone all the way. We kept begging
her to be calm. We came in, you weren’t here; she sat down, and stayed ten
minutes, while we stood waiting in silence. She got up and said: ‘If he’s gone out,
that is, if he is well, and has forgotten his mother, it’s humiliating and unseemly
for his mother to stand at his door begging for kindness.’ She returned home and
took to her bed; now she is in a fever. ‘I see,’ she said, ‘that he has time for his girl.’
She means by your girl Sofya Semyonovna, your betrothed or your mistress, I
don’t know. I went at once to Sofya Semyonovna’s, for I wanted to know what was
going on. I looked round, I saw the coffin, the children crying, and Sofya
Semyonovna trying them on mourning dresses. No sign of you. I apologised, came
away, and reported to Avdotya Romanovna. So that’s all nonsense and you haven’t
got a girl; the most likely thing is that you are mad. But here you sit, guzzling
boiled beef as though you’d not had a bite for three days. Though as far as that
goes, madmen eat too, but though you have not said a word to me yet . . . you are
not mad! That I’d swear! Above all, you are not mad! So you may go to hell, all of
you, for there’s some mystery, some secret about it, and I don’t intend to worry my
brains over your secrets. So I’ve simply come to swear at you,” he finished, getting
up, “to relieve my mind. And I know what to do now.”
“What do you mean to do now?”

“What business is it of yours what I mean to do?”

“You are going in for a drinking bout.”
“How . . . how did you know?”

“Why, it’s pretty plain.”

Razumihin paused for a minute.

“You always have been a very rational person and you’ve never been mad,
never,” he observed suddenly with warmth. “You’re right: I shall drink. Good-
bye!”
And he moved to go out.
“I was talking with my sister — the day before yesterday, I think it was —
about you, Razumihin.”
“About me! But . . . where can you have seen her the day before yesterday?”
Razumihin stopped short and even turned a little pale.
One could see that his heart was throbbing slowly and violently.
“She came here by herself, sat there and talked to me.”

“She did!”
“Yes.”

“What did you say to her . . . I mean, about me?”

“I told her you were a very good, honest, and industrious man. I didn’t tell her
you love her, because she knows that herself.”
 “She knows that herself?”
“Well, it’s pretty plain. Wherever I might go, whatever happened to me, you
would remain to look after them. I, so to speak, give them into your keeping,
Razumihin. I say this because I know quite well how you love her, and am
convinced of the purity of your heart. I know that she too may love you and
perhaps does love you already. Now decide for yourself, as you know best, whether
you need go in for a drinking bout or not.”
“Rodya! You see . . . well. . . . Ach, damn it! But where do you mean to go? Of
course, if it’s all a secret, never mind. . . . But I . . . I shall find out the secret . . .
and I am sure that it must be some ridiculous nonsense and that you’ve made it all
up. Anyway you are a capital fellow, a capital fellow! …”
“That was just what I wanted to add, only you interrupted, that that was a
very good decision of yours not to find out these secrets. Leave it to time, don’t
worry about it. You’ll know it all in time when it must be. Yesterday a man said to
me that what a man needs is fresh air, fresh air, fresh air. I mean to go to him
directly to find out what he meant by that.”

Razumihin stood lost in thought and excitement, making a silent conclusion.

“He’s a political conspirator! He must be. And he’s on the eve of some
desperate step, that’s certain. It can only be that! And . . . and Dounia knows,” he
thought suddenly.

“So Avdotya Romanovna comes to see you,” he said, weighing each syllable,
“and you’re going to see a man who says we need more air, and so of course that
letter . . . that too must have something to do with it,” he concluded to himself.

“What letter?”

“She got a letter to-day. It upset her very much — very much indeed. Too
much so. I began speaking of you, she begged me not to. Then . . . then she said
that perhaps we should very soon have to part . . . then she began warmly
thanking me for something; then she went to her room and locked herself in.”

“She got a letter?” Raskolnikov asked thoughtfully.

“Yes, and you didn’t know? hm …”

They were both silent.

 “Good-bye, Rodion. There was a time, brother, when I. . . . Never mind, good-
bye. You see, there was a time. . . . Well, good-bye! I must be off too. I am not
going to drink. There’s no need now. . . . That’s all stuff!”

He hurried out; but when he had almost closed the door behind him, he
suddenly opened it again, and said, looking away:
“Oh, by the way, do you remember that murder, you know Porfiry’s, that old
woman? Do you know the murderer has been found, he has confessed and given
the proofs. It’s one of those very workmen, the painter, only fancy! Do you
remember I defended them here? Would you believe it, all that scene of fighting
and laughing with his companions on the stairs while the porter and the two
witnesses were going up, he got up on purpose to disarm suspicion. The cunning,
the presence of mind of the young dog! One can hardly credit it; but it’s his own
explanation, he has confessed it all. And what a fool I was about it! Well, he’s
simply a genius of hypocrisy and resourcefulness in disarming the suspicions of
the lawyers — so there’s nothing much to wonder at, I suppose! Of course people
like that are always possible. And the fact that he couldn’t keep up the character,
but confessed, makes him easier to believe in. But what a fool I was! I was frantic
on their side!”

“Tell me, please, from whom did you hear that, and why does it interest you
so?” Raskolnikov asked with unmistakable agitation.
“What next? You ask me why it interests me! . . . Well, I heard it from Porfiry,
among others . . . It was from him I heard almost all about it.”

“From Porfiry?”

“From Porfiry.”
“What . . . what did he say?” Raskolnikov asked in dismay.

“He gave me a capital explanation of it. Psychologically, after his fashion.”

“He explained it? Explained it himself?”

“Yes, yes; good-bye. I’ll tell you all about it another time, but now I’m busy.
There was a time when I fancied . . . But no matter, another time! . . . What need is
there for me to drink now? You have made me drunk without wine. I am drunk,
Rodya! Good-bye, I’m going. I’ll come again very soon.”
He went out.
 “He’s a political conspirator, there’s not a doubt about it,” Razumihin
decided, as he slowly descended the stairs. “And he’s drawn his sister in; that’s
quite, quite in keeping with Avdotya Romanovna’s character. There are interviews
between them! . . . She hinted at it too . . . So many of her words. . . . and hints . . .
bear that meaning! And how else can all this tangle be explained? Hm! And I was
almost thinking . . . Good heavens, what I thought! Yes, I took leave of my senses
and I wronged him! It was his doing, under the lamp in the corridor that day.
Pfoo! What a crude, nasty, vile idea on my part! Nikolay is a brick, for confessing.
. . . And how clear it all is now! His illness then, all his strange actions . . . before
this, in the university, how morose he used to be, how gloomy. . . . But what’s the
meaning now of that letter? There’s something in that, too, perhaps. Whom was it
from? I suspect …! No, I must find out!”
He thought of Dounia, realising all he had heard and his heart throbbed, and
he suddenly broke into a run.

As soon as Razumihin went out, Raskolnikov got up, turned to the window,
walked into one corner and then into another, as though forgetting the smallness
of his room, and sat down again on the sofa. He felt, so to speak, renewed; again
the struggle, so a means of escape had come.

“Yes, a means of escape had come! It had been too stifling, too cramping, the
burden had been too agonising. A lethargy had come upon him at times. From the
moment of the scene with Nikolay at Porfiry’s he had been suffocating, penned in
without hope of escape. After Nikolay’s confession, on that very day had come the
scene with Sonia; his behaviour and his last words had been utterly unlike
anything he could have imagined beforehand; he had grown feebler, instantly and
fundamentally! And he had agreed at the time with Sonia, he had agreed in his
heart he could not go on living alone with such a thing on his mind!

“And Svidrigaïlov was a riddle . . . He worried him, that was true, but
somehow not on the same point. He might still have a struggle to come with
Svidrigaïlov. Svidrigaïlov, too, might be a means of escape; but Porfiry was a
different matter.

“And so Porfiry himself had explained it to Razumihin, had explained it

psychologically. He had begun bringing in his damned psychology again! Porfiry?
But to think that Porfiry should for one moment believe that Nikolay was guilty,
after what had passed between them before Nikolay’s appearance, after that tête-
à-tête interview, which could have only one explanation? (During those days
Raskolnikov had often recalled passages in that scene with Porfiry; he could not
bear to let his mind rest on it.) Such words, such gestures had passed between
them, they had exchanged such glances, things had been said in such a tone and
had reached such a pass, that Nikolay, whom Porfiry had seen through at the first
word, at the first gesture, could not have shaken his conviction.
“And to think that even Razumihin had begun to suspect! The scene in the
corridor under the lamp had produced its effect then. He had rushed to Porfiry.
. . . But what had induced the latter to receive him like that? What had been his
object in putting Razumihin off with Nikolay? He must have some plan; there was
some design, but what was it? It was true that a long time had passed since that
morning — too long a time — and no sight nor sound of Porfiry. Well, that was a
bad sign . . . .”
Raskolnikov took his cap and went out of the room, still pondering. It was the
first time for a long while that he had felt clear in his mind, at least. “I must settle
Svidrigaïlov,” he thought, “and as soon as possible; he, too, seems to be waiting for
me to come to him of my own accord.” And at that moment there was such a rush
of hate in his weary heart that he might have killed either of those two — Porfiry or
Svidrigaïlov. At least he felt that he would be capable of doing it later, if not now.

“We shall see, we shall see,” he repeated to himself.

But no sooner had he opened the door than he stumbled upon Porfiry himself
in the passage. He was coming in to see him. Raskolnikov was dumbfounded for a
minute, but only for one minute. Strange to say, he was not very much astonished
at seeing Porfiry and scarcely afraid of him. He was simply startled, but was
quickly, instantly, on his guard. “Perhaps this will mean the end? But how could
Porfiry have approached so quietly, like a cat, so that he had heard nothing? Could
he have been listening at the door?”

“You didn’t expect a visitor, Rodion Romanovitch,” Porfiry explained,

laughing. “I’ve been meaning to look in a long time; I was passing by and thought
why not go in for five minutes. Are you going out? I won’t keep you long. Just let
me have one cigarette.”

“Sit down, Porfiry Petrovitch, sit down.” Raskolnikov gave his visitor a seat
with so pleased and friendly an expression that he would have marvelled at
himself, if he could have seen it.

The last moment had come, the last drops had to be drained! So a man will
sometimes go through half an hour of mortal terror with a brigand, yet when the
knife is at his throat at last, he feels no fear.

Raskolnikov seated himself directly facing Porfiry, and looked at him without
flinching. Porfiry screwed up his eyes and began lighting a cigarette.

“Speak, speak,” seemed as though it would burst from Raskolnikov’s heart.

“Come, why don’t you speak?”
 CHAPTER II

“Ah these cigarettes!” Porfiry Petrovitch ejaculated at last, having lighted one.
“They are pernicious, positively pernicious, and yet I can’t give them up! I cough, I
begin to have tickling in my throat and a difficulty in breathing. You know I am a
coward, I went lately to Dr. B——n; he always gives at least half an hour to each
patient. He positively laughed looking at me; he sounded me: ‘Tobacco’s bad for
you,’ he said, ‘your lungs are affected.’ But how am I to give it up? What is there to
take its place? I don’t drink, that’s the mischief, he-he-he, that I don’t. Everything
is relative, Rodion Romanovitch, everything is relative!”
“Why, he’s playing his professional tricks again,” Raskolnikov thought with
disgust. All the circumstances of their last interview suddenly came back to him,
and he felt a rush of the feeling that had come upon him then.

“I came to see you the day before yesterday, in the evening; you didn’t know?”
Porfiry Petrovitch went on, looking round the room. “I came into this very room. I
was passing by, just as I did to-day, and I thought I’d return your call. I walked in
as your door was wide open, I looked round, waited and went out without leaving
my name with your servant. Don’t you lock your door?”

Raskolnikov’s face grew more and more gloomy. Porfiry seemed to guess his
state of mind.

“I’ve come to have it out with you, Rodion Romanovitch, my dear fellow! I
owe you an explanation and must give it to you,” he continued with a slight smile,
just patting Raskolnikov’s knee.

But almost at the same instant a serious and careworn look came into his
face; to his surprise Raskolnikov saw a touch of sadness in it. He had never seen
and never suspected such an expression in his face.
“A strange scene passed between us last time we met, Rodion Romanovitch.
Our first interview, too, was a strange one; but then . . . and one thing after
another! This is the point: I have perhaps acted unfairly to you; I feel it. Do you
remember how we parted? Your nerves were unhinged and your knees were
shaking and so were mine. And, you know, our behaviour was unseemly, even
ungentlemanly. And yet we are gentlemen, above all, in any case, gentlemen; that
must be understood. Do you remember what we came to? . . . and it was quite
indecorous.”

“What is he up to, what does he take me for?” Raskolnikov asked himself in

amazement, raising his head and looking with open eyes on Porfiry.
“I’ve decided openness is better between us,” Porfiry Petrovitch went on,
turning his head away and dropping his eyes, as though unwilling to disconcert his
former victim and as though disdaining his former wiles. “Yes, such suspicions
and such scenes cannot continue for long. Nikolay put a stop to it, or I don’t know
what we might not have come to. That damned workman was sitting at the time in
the next room — can you realise that? You know that, of course; and I am aware
that he came to you afterwards. But what you supposed then was not true: I had
not sent for anyone, I had made no kind of arrangements. You ask why I hadn’t?
What shall I say to you? it had all come upon me so suddenly. I had scarcely sent
for the porters (you noticed them as you went out, I dare say). An idea flashed
upon me; I was firmly convinced at the time, you see, Rodion Romanovitch. Come,
I thought — even if I let one thing slip for a time, I shall get hold of something else
— I shan’t lose what I want, anyway. You are nervously irritable, Rodion
Romanovitch, by temperament; it’s out of proportion with other qualities of your
heart and character, which I flatter myself I have to some extent divined. Of
course I did reflect even then that it does not always happen that a man gets up
and blurts out his whole story. It does happen sometimes, if you make a man lose
all patience, though even then it’s rare. I was capable of realising that. If I only had
a fact, I thought, the least little fact to go upon, something I could lay hold of,
something tangible, not merely psychological. For if a man is guilty, you must be
able to get something substantial out of him; one may reckon upon most
surprising results indeed. I was reckoning on your temperament, Rodion
Romanovitch, on your temperament above all things! I had great hopes of you at
that time.”

“But what are you driving at now?” Raskolnikov muttered at last, asking the
question without thinking.

“What is he talking about?” he wondered distractedly, “does he really take me

to be innocent?”

“What am I driving at? I’ve come to explain myself, I consider it my duty, so

to speak. I want to make clear to you how the whole business, the whole
misunderstanding arose. I’ve caused you a great deal of suffering, Rodion
Romanovitch. I am not a monster. I understand what it must mean for a man who
has been unfortunate, but who is proud, imperious and above all, impatient, to
have to bear such treatment! I regard you in any case as a man of noble character
and not without elements of magnanimity, though I don’t agree with all your
convictions. I wanted to tell you this first, frankly and quite sincerely, for above all
I don’t want to deceive you. When I made your acquaintance, I felt attracted by
you. Perhaps you will laugh at my saying so. You have a right to. I know you
disliked me from the first and indeed you’ve no reason to like me. You may think
what you like, but I desire now to do all I can to efface that impression and to
show that I am a man of heart and conscience. I speak sincerely.”

Porfiry Petrovitch made a dignified pause. Raskolnikov felt a rush of renewed

alarm. The thought that Porfiry believed him to be innocent began to make him
uneasy.

“It’s scarcely necessary to go over everything in detail,” Porfiry Petrovitch

went on. “Indeed, I could scarcely attempt it. To begin with there were rumours.
Through whom, how, and when those rumours came to me . . . and how they
affected you, I need not go into. My suspicions were aroused by a complete
accident, which might just as easily not have happened. What was it? Hm! I
believe there is no need to go into that either. Those rumours and that accident led
to one idea in my mind. I admit it openly — for one may as well make a clean
breast of it — I was the first to pitch on you. The old woman’s notes on the pledges
and the rest of it — that all came to nothing. Yours was one of a hundred. I
happened, too, to hear of the scene at the office, from a man who described it
capitally, unconsciously reproducing the scene with great vividness. It was just
one thing after another, Rodion Romanovitch, my dear fellow! How could I avoid
being brought to certain ideas? From a hundred rabbits you can’t make a horse, a
hundred suspicions don’t make a proof, as the English proverb says, but that’s
only from the rational point of view — you can’t help being partial, for after all a
lawyer is only human. I thought, too, of your article in that journal, do you
remember, on your first visit we talked of it? I jeered at you at the time, but that
was only to lead you on. I repeat, Rodion Romanovitch, you are ill and impatient.
That you were bold, headstrong, in earnest and . . . had felt a great deal I
recognised long before. I, too, have felt the same, so that your article seemed
familiar to me. It was conceived on sleepless nights, with a throbbing heart, in
ecstasy and suppressed enthusiasm. And that proud suppressed enthusiasm in
young people is dangerous! I jeered at you then, but let me tell you that, as a
literary amateur, I am awfully fond of such first essays, full of the heat of youth.
There is a mistiness and a chord vibrating in the mist. Your article is absurd and
fantastic, but there’s a transparent sincerity, a youthful incorruptible pride and the
daring of despair in it. It’s a gloomy article, but that’s what’s fine in it. I read your
article and put it aside, thinking as I did so ‘that man won’t go the common way.’
Well, I ask you, after that as a preliminary, how could I help being carried away by
what followed? Oh, dear, I am not saying anything, I am not making any
statement now. I simply noted it at the time. What is there in it? I reflected.
There’s nothing in it, that is really nothing and perhaps absolutely nothing. And
it’s not at all the thing for the prosecutor to let himself be carried away by notions:
here I have Nikolay on my hands with actual evidence against him — you may
think what you like of it, but it’s evidence. He brings in his psychology, too; one
has to consider him, too, for it’s a matter of life and death. Why am I explaining
this to you? That you may understand, and not blame my malicious behaviour on
that occasion. It was not malicious, I assure you, he-he! Do you suppose I didn’t
come to search your room at the time? I did, I did, he-he! I was here when you
were lying ill in bed, not officially, not in my own person, but I was here. Your
room was searched to the last thread at the first suspicion; but umsonst! I thought
to myself, now that man will come, will come of himself and quickly, too; if he’s
guilty, he’s sure to come. Another man wouldn’t, but he will. And you remember
how Mr. Razumihin began discussing the subject with you? We arranged that to
excite you, so we purposely spread rumours, that he might discuss the case with
you, and Razumihin is not a man to restrain his indignation. Mr. Zametov was
tremendously struck by your anger and your open daring. Think of blurting out in
a restaurant ‘I killed her.’ It was too daring, too reckless. I thought so myself, if he
is guilty he will be a formidable opponent. That was what I thought at the time. I
was expecting you. But you simply bowled Zametov over and . . . well, you see, it
all lies in this — that this damnable psychology can be taken two ways! Well, I kept
expecting you, and so it was, you came! My heart was fairly throbbing. Ach!
“Now, why need you have come? Your laughter, too, as you came in, do you
remember? I saw it all plain as daylight, but if I hadn’t expected you so specially, I
should not have noticed anything in your laughter. You see what influence a mood
has! Mr. Razumihin then — ah, that stone, that stone under which the things were
hidden! I seem to see it somewhere in a kitchen garden. It was in a kitchen garden,
you told Zametov and afterwards you repeated that in my office? And when we
began picking your article to pieces, how you explained it! One could take every
word of yours in two senses, as though there were another meaning hidden.
“So in this way, Rodion Romanovitch, I reached the furthest limit, and
knocking my head against a post, I pulled myself up, asking myself what I was
about. After all, I said, you can take it all in another sense if you like, and it’s more
natural so, indeed. I couldn’t help admitting it was more natural. I was bothered!
‘No, I’d better get hold of some little fact’ I said. So when I heard of the bell-
ringing, I held my breath and was all in a tremor. ‘Here is my little fact,’ thought I,
and I didn’t think it over, I simply wouldn’t. I would have given a thousand
roubles at that minute to have seen you with my own eyes, when you walked a
hundred paces beside that workman, after he had called you murderer to your
face, and you did not dare to ask him a question all the way. And then what about
your trembling, what about your bell-ringing in your illness, in semi-delirium?

“And so, Rodion Romanovitch, can you wonder that I played such pranks on
you? And what made you come at that very minute? Someone seemed to have sent
you, by Jove! And if Nikolay had not parted us . . . and do you remember Nikolay
at the time? Do you remember him clearly? It was a thunderbolt, a regular
thunderbolt! And how I met him! I didn’t believe in the thunderbolt, not for a
minute. You could see it for yourself; and how could I? Even afterwards, when you
had gone and he began making very, very plausible answers on certain points, so
that I was surprised at him myself, even then I didn’t believe his story! You see
what it is to be as firm as a rock! No, thought I, Morgenfrüh. What has Nikolay got
to do with it!”
“Razumihin told me just now that you think Nikolay guilty and had yourself
assured him of it . . . .”

His voice failed him, and he broke off. He had been listening in indescribable
agitation, as this man who had seen through and through him, went back upon
himself. He was afraid of believing it and did not believe it. In those still
ambiguous words he kept eagerly looking for something more definite and
conclusive.
“Mr. Razumihin!” cried Porfiry Petrovitch, seeming glad of a question from
Raskolnikov, who had till then been silent. “He-he-he! But I had to put Mr.
Razumihin off; two is company, three is none. Mr. Razumihin is not the right man,
besides he is an outsider. He came running to me with a pale face. . . . But never
mind him, why bring him in? To return to Nikolay, would you like to know what
sort of a type he is, how I understand him, that is? To begin with, he is still a child
and not exactly a coward, but something by way of an artist. Really, don’t laugh at
my describing him so. He is innocent and responsive to influence. He has a heart,
and is a fantastic fellow. He sings and dances, he tells stories, they say, so that
people come from other villages to hear him. He attends school too, and laughs till
he cries if you hold up a finger to him; he will drink himself senseless — not as a
regular vice, but at times, when people treat him, like a child. And he stole, too,
then, without knowing it himself, for ‘How can it be stealing, if one picks it up?’
And do you know he is an Old Believer, or rather a dissenter? There have been
Wanderers2 in his family, and he was for two years in his village under the
spiritual guidance of a certain elder. I learnt all this from Nikolay and from his
fellow villagers. And what’s more, he wanted to run into the wilderness! He was
full of fervour, prayed at night, read the old books, ‘the true’ ones, and read
himself crazy.
2
A religious sect. — TRANSLATOR’S NOTE.

“Petersburg had a great effect upon him, especially the women and the wine.
He responds to everything and he forgot the elder and all that. I learnt that an
artist here took a fancy to him, and used to go and see him, and now this business
came upon him.

“Well, he was frightened, he tried to hang himself! He ran away! How can one
get over the idea the people have of Russian legal proceedings? The very word
‘trial’ frightens some of them. Whose fault is it? We shall see what the new juries
will do. God grant they do good! Well, in prison, it seems, he remembered the
venerable elder; the Bible, too, made its appearance again. Do you know, Rodion
Romanovitch, the force of the word ‘suffering’ among some of these people! It’s
not a question of suffering for someone’s benefit, but simply, ‘one must suffer.’ If
they suffer at the hands of the authorities, so much the better. In my time there
was a very meek and mild prisoner who spent a whole year in prison always
reading his Bible on the stove at night and he read himself crazy, and so crazy, do
you know, that one day, apropos of nothing, he seized a brick and flung it at the
governor; though he had done him no harm. And the way he threw it too: aimed it
a yard on one side on purpose, for fear of hurting him. Well, we know what
happens to a prisoner who assaults an officer with a weapon. So ‘he took his
suffering.’

“So I suspect now that Nikolay wants to take his suffering or something of the
sort. I know it for certain from facts, indeed. Only he doesn’t know that I know.
What, you don’t admit that there are such fantastic people among the peasants?
Lots of them. The elder now has begun influencing him, especially since he tried to
hang himself. But he’ll come and tell me all himself. You think he’ll hold out? Wait
a bit, he’ll take his words back. I am waiting from hour to hour for him to come
and abjure his evidence. I have come to like that Nikolay and am studying him in
detail. And what do you think? He-he! He answered me very plausibly on some
points, he obviously had collected some evidence and prepared himself cleverly.
But on other points he is simply at sea, knows nothing and doesn’t even suspect
that he doesn’t know!
“No, Rodion Romanovitch, Nikolay doesn’t come in! This is a fantastic,
gloomy business, a modern case, an incident of to-day when the heart of man is
troubled, when the phrase is quoted that blood ‘renews,’ when comfort is preached
as the aim of life. Here we have bookish dreams, a heart unhinged by theories.
Here we see resolution in the first stage, but resolution of a special kind: he
resolved to do it like jumping over a precipice or from a bell tower and his legs
shook as he went to the crime. He forgot to shut the door after him, and murdered
two people for a theory. He committed the murder and couldn’t take the money,
and what he did manage to snatch up he hid under a stone. It wasn’t enough for
him to suffer agony behind the door while they battered at the door and rung the
bell, no, he had to go to the empty lodging, half delirious, to recall the bell-ringing,
he wanted to feel the cold shiver over again. . . . Well, that we grant, was through
illness, but consider this: he is a murderer, but looks upon himself as an honest
man, despises others, poses as injured innocence. No, that’s not the work of a
Nikolay, my dear Rodion Romanovitch!”

All that had been said before had sounded so like a recantation that these
words were too great a shock. Raskolnikov shuddered as though he had been
stabbed.

“Then . . . who then . . . is the murderer?” he asked in a breathless voice,

unable to restrain himself.
Porfiry Petrovitch sank back in his chair, as though he were amazed at the
question.

“Who is the murderer?” he repeated, as though unable to believe his ears.

“Why, you, Rodion Romanovitch! You are the murderer,” he added, almost in a
whisper, in a voice of genuine conviction.

Raskolnikov leapt from the sofa, stood up for a few seconds and sat down
again without uttering a word. His face twitched convulsively.
“Your lip is twitching just as it did before,” Porfiry Petrovitch observed almost
sympathetically. “You’ve been misunderstanding me, I think, Rodion
Romanovitch,” he added after a brief pause, “that’s why you are so surprised. I
came on purpose to tell you everything and deal openly with you.”
“It was not I murdered her,” Raskolnikov whispered like a frightened child
caught in the act.

“No, it was you, you Rodion Romanovitch, and no one else,” Porfiry
whispered sternly, with conviction.
They were both silent and the silence lasted strangely long, about ten
minutes. Raskolnikov put his elbow on the table and passed his fingers through
his hair. Porfiry Petrovitch sat quietly waiting. Suddenly Raskolnikov looked
scornfully at Porfiry.
“You are at your old tricks again, Porfiry Petrovitch! Your old method again. I
wonder you don’t get sick of it!”

“Oh, stop that, what does that matter now? It would be a different matter if
there were witnesses present, but we are whispering alone. You see yourself that I
have not come to chase and capture you like a hare. Whether you confess it or not
is nothing to me now; for myself, I am convinced without it.”

“If so, what did you come for?” Raskolnikov asked irritably. “I ask you the
same question again: if you consider me guilty, why don’t you take me to prison?”

“Oh, that’s your question! I will answer you, point for point. In the first place,
to arrest you so directly is not to my interest.”

“How so? If you are convinced you ought . . . .”

“Ach, what if I am convinced? That’s only my dream for the time. Why should
I put you in safety? You know that’s it, since you ask me to do it. If I confront you
with that workman for instance and you say to him ‘were you drunk or not? Who
saw me with you? I simply took you to be drunk, and you were drunk, too.’ Well,
what could I answer, especially as your story is a more likely one than his? for
there’s nothing but psychology to support his evidence — that’s almost unseemly
with his ugly mug, while you hit the mark exactly, for the rascal is an inveterate
drunkard and notoriously so. And I have myself admitted candidly several times
already that that psychology can be taken in two ways and that the second way is
stronger and looks far more probable, and that apart from that I have as yet
nothing against you. And though I shall put you in prison and indeed have come —
quite contrary to etiquette — to inform you of it beforehand, yet I tell you frankly,
also contrary to etiquette, that it won’t be to my advantage. Well, secondly, I’ve
come to you because …”

“Yes, yes, secondly?” Raskolnikov was listening breathless.

“Because, as I told you just now, I consider I owe you an explanation. I don’t
want you to look upon me as a monster, as I have a genuine liking for you, you
may believe me or not. And in the third place I’ve come to you with a direct and
open proposition — that you should surrender and confess. It will be infinitely
more to your advantage and to my advantage too, for my task will be done. Well, is
this open on my part or not?”

Raskolnikov thought a minute.

“Listen, Porfiry Petrovitch. You said just now you have nothing but
psychology to go on, yet now you’ve gone on mathematics. Well, what if you are
mistaken yourself, now?”

“No, Rodion Romanovitch, I am not mistaken. I have a little fact even then,
Providence sent it me.”
“What little fact?”

“I won’t tell you what, Rodion Romanovitch. And in any case, I haven’t the
right to put it off any longer, I must arrest you. So think it over: it makes no
difference to me now and so I speak only for your sake. Believe me, it will be
better, Rodion Romanovitch.”

Raskolnikov smiled malignantly.

“That’s not simply ridiculous, it’s positively shameless. Why, even if I were
guilty, which I don’t admit, what reason should I have to confess, when you tell me
yourself that I shall be in greater safety in prison?”

“Ah, Rodion Romanovitch, don’t put too much faith in words, perhaps prison
will not be altogether a restful place. That’s only theory and my theory, and what
authority am I for you? Perhaps, too, even now I am hiding something from you? I
can’t lay bare everything, he-he! And how can you ask what advantage? Don’t you
know how it would lessen your sentence? You would be confessing at a moment
when another man has taken the crime on himself and so has muddled the whole
case. Consider that! I swear before God that I will so arrange that your confession
shall come as a complete surprise. We will make a clean sweep of all these
psychological points, of a suspicion against you, so that your crime will appear to
have been something like an aberration, for in truth it was an aberration. I am an
honest man, Rodion Romanovitch, and will keep my word.”

Raskolnikov maintained a mournful silence and let his head sink dejectedly.
He pondered a long while and at last smiled again, but his smile was sad and
gentle.
“No!” he said, apparently abandoning all attempt to keep up appearances
with Porfiry, “it’s not worth it, I don’t care about lessening the sentence!”

“That’s just what I was afraid of!” Porfiry cried warmly and, as it seemed,
involuntarily. “That’s just what I feared, that you wouldn’t care about the
mitigation of sentence.”

Raskolnikov looked sadly and expressively at him.

“Ah, don’t disdain life!” Porfiry went on. “You have a great deal of it still
before you. How can you say you don’t want a mitigation of sentence? You are an
impatient fellow!”

“A great deal of what lies before me?”

“Of life. What sort of prophet are you, do you know much about it? Seek and
ye shall find. This may be God’s means for bringing you to Him. And it’s not for
ever, the bondage . . . .”

“The time will be shortened,” laughed Raskolnikov.

“Why, is it the bourgeois disgrace you are afraid of? It may be that you are
afraid of it without knowing it, because you are young! But anyway you shouldn’t
be afraid of giving yourself up and confessing.”

“Ach, hang it!” Raskolnikov whispered with loathing and contempt, as though
he did not want to speak aloud.

He got up again as though he meant to go away, but sat down again in evident
despair.
“Hang it, if you like! You’ve lost faith and you think that I am grossly
flattering you; but how long has your life been? How much do you understand?
You made up a theory and then were ashamed that it broke down and turned out
to be not at all original! It turned out something base, that’s true, but you are not
hopelessly base. By no means so base! At least you didn’t deceive yourself for long,
you went straight to the furthest point at one bound. How do I regard you? I
regard you as one of those men who would stand and smile at their torturer while
he cuts their entrails out, if only they have found faith or God. Find it and you will
live. You have long needed a change of air. Suffering, too, is a good thing. Suffer!
Maybe Nikolay is right in wanting to suffer. I know you don’t believe in it — but
don’t be over-wise; fling yourself straight into life, without deliberation; don’t be
afraid — the flood will bear you to the bank and set you safe on your feet again.
What bank? How can I tell? I only believe that you have long life before you. I
know that you take all my words now for a set speech prepared beforehand, but
maybe you will remember them after. They may be of use some time. That’s why I
speak. It’s as well that you only killed the old woman. If you’d invented another
theory you might perhaps have done something a thousand times more hideous.
You ought to thank God, perhaps. How do you know? Perhaps God is saving you
for something. But keep a good heart and have less fear! Are you afraid of the
great expiation before you? No, it would be shameful to be afraid of it. Since you
have taken such a step, you must harden your heart. There is justice in it. You
must fulfil the demands of justice. I know that you don’t believe it, but indeed, life
will bring you through. You will live it down in time. What you need now is fresh
air, fresh air, fresh air!”

Raskolnikov positively started.

“But who are you? what prophet are you? From the height of what majestic
calm do you proclaim these words of wisdom?”
“Who am I? I am a man with nothing to hope for, that’s all. A man perhaps of
feeling and sympathy, maybe of some knowledge too, but my day is over. But you
are a different matter, there is life waiting for you. Though, who knows? maybe
your life, too, will pass off in smoke and come to nothing. Come, what does it
matter, that you will pass into another class of men? It’s not comfort you regret,
with your heart! What of it that perhaps no one will see you for so long? It’s not
time, but yourself that will decide that. Be the sun and all will see you. The sun has
before all to be the sun. Why are you smiling again? At my being such a Schiller? I
bet you’re imagining that I am trying to get round you by flattery. Well, perhaps I
am, he-he-he! Perhaps you’d better not believe my word, perhaps you’d better
never believe it altogether — I’m made that way, I confess it. But let me add, you
can judge for yourself, I think, how far I am a base sort of man and how far I am
honest.”

“When do you mean to arrest me?”

“Well, I can let you walk about another day or two. Think it over, my dear
fellow, and pray to God. It’s more in your interest, believe me.”

“And what if I run away?” asked Raskolnikov with a strange smile.

“No, you won’t run away. A peasant would run away, a fashionable dissenter
would run away, the flunkey of another man’s thought, for you’ve only to show
him the end of your little finger and he’ll be ready to believe in anything for the
rest of his life. But you’ve ceased to believe in your theory already, what will you
run away with? And what would you do in hiding? It would be hateful and difficult
for you, and what you need more than anything in life is a definite position, an
atmosphere to suit you. And what sort of atmosphere would you have? If you ran
away, you’d come back to yourself. You can’t get on without us. And if I put you in
prison — say you’ve been there a month, or two, or three — remember my word,
you’ll confess of yourself and perhaps to your own surprise. You won’t know an
hour beforehand that you are coming with a confession. I am convinced that you
will decide, ‘to take your suffering.’ You don’t believe my words now, but you’ll
come to it of yourself. For suffering, Rodion Romanovitch, is a great thing. Never
mind my having grown fat, I know all the same. Don’t laugh at it, there’s an idea in
suffering, Nokolay is right. No, you won’t run away, Rodion Romanovitch.”

Raskolnikov got up and took his cap. Porfiry Petrovitch also rose.

“Are you going for a walk? The evening will be fine, if only we don’t have a
storm. Though it would be a good thing to freshen the air.”

He, too, took his cap.

“Porfiry Petrovitch, please don’t take up the notion that I have confessed to
you to-day,” Raskolnikov pronounced with sullen insistence. “You’re a strange
man and I have listened to you from simple curiosity. But I have admitted
nothing, remember that!”

“Oh, I know that, I’ll remember. Look at him, he’s trembling! Don’t be uneasy,
my dear fellow, have it your own way. Walk about a bit, you won’t be able to walk
too far. If anything happens, I have one request to make of you,” he added,
dropping his voice. “It’s an awkward one, but important. If anything were to
happen (though indeed I don’t believe in it and think you quite incapable of it), yet
in case you were taken during these forty or fifty hours with the notion of putting
an end to the business in some other way, in some fantastic fashion — laying
hands on yourself —(it’s an absurd proposition, but you must forgive me for it) do
leave a brief but precise note, only two lines, and mention the stone. It will be
more generous. Come, till we meet! Good thoughts and sound decisions to you!”

Porfiry went out, stooping and avoiding looking at Raskolnikov. The latter
went to the window and waited with irritable impatience till he calculated that
Porfiry had reached the street and moved away. Then he too went hurriedly out of
the room.
 CHAPTER III

He hurried to Svidrigaïlov’s. What he had to hope from that man he did not know.
But that man had some hidden power over him. Having once recognised this, he
could not rest, and now the time had come.

On the way, one question particularly worried him: had Svidrigaïlov been to
Porfiry’s?

As far as he could judge, he would swear to it, that he had not. He pondered
again and again, went over Porfiry’s visit; no, he hadn’t been, of course he hadn’t.

But if he had not been yet, would he go? Meanwhile, for the present he
fancied he couldn’t. Why? He could not have explained, but if he could, he would
not have wasted much thought over it at the moment. It all worried him and at the
same time he could not attend to it. Strange to say, none would have believed it
perhaps, but he only felt a faint vague anxiety about his immediate future.
Another, much more important anxiety tormented him — it concerned himself,
but in a different, more vital way. Moreover, he was conscious of immense moral
fatigue, though his mind was working better that morning than it had done of late.

And was it worth while, after all that had happened, to contend with these
new trivial difficulties? Was it worth while, for instance, to manœuvre that
Svidrigaïlov should not go to Porfiry’s? Was it worth while to investigate, to
ascertain the facts, to waste time over anyone like Svidrigaïlov?

Oh, how sick he was of it all!

And yet he was hastening to Svidrigaïlov; could he be expecting something
new from him, information, or means of escape? Men will catch at straws! Was it
destiny or some instinct bringing them together? Perhaps it was only fatigue,
despair; perhaps it was not Svidrigaïlov but some other whom he needed, and
Svidrigaïlov had simply presented himself by chance. Sonia? But what should he
go to Sonia for now? To beg her tears again? He was afraid of Sonia, too. Sonia
stood before him as an irrevocable sentence. He must go his own way or hers. At
that moment especially he did not feel equal to seeing her. No, would it not be
better to try Svidrigaïlov? And he could not help inwardly owning that he had long
felt that he must see him for some reason.
 But what could they have in common? Their very evil-doing could not be of
the same kind. The man, moreover, was very unpleasant, evidently depraved,
undoubtedly cunning and deceitful, possibly malignant. Such stories were told
about him. It is true he was befriending Katerina Ivanovna’s children, but who
could tell with what motive and what it meant? The man always had some design,
some project.
There was another thought which had been continually hovering of late about
Raskolnikov’s mind, and causing him great uneasiness. It was so painful that he
made distinct efforts to get rid of it. He sometimes thought that Svidrigaïlov was
dogging his footsteps. Svidrigaïlov had found out his secret and had had designs
on Dounia. What if he had them still? Wasn’t it practically certain that he had?
And what if, having learnt his secret and so having gained power over him, he
were to use it as a weapon against Dounia?

This idea sometimes even tormented his dreams, but it had never presented
itself so vividly to him as on his way to Svidrigaïlov. The very thought moved him
to gloomy rage. To begin with, this would transform everything, even his own
position; he would have at once to confess his secret to Dounia. Would he have to
give himself up perhaps to prevent Dounia from taking some rash step? The
letter? This morning Dounia had received a letter. From whom could she get
letters in Petersburg? Luzhin, perhaps? It’s true Razumihin was there to protect
her, but Razumihin knew nothing of the position. Perhaps it was his duty to tell
Razumihin? He thought of it with repugnance.

In any case he must see Svidrigaïlov as soon as possible, he decided finally.

Thank God, the details of the interview were of little consequence, if only he could
get at the root of the matter; but if Svidrigaïlov were capable . . . if he were
intriguing against Dounia — then …

Raskolnikov was so exhausted by what he had passed through that month

that he could only decide such questions in one way; “then I shall kill him,” he
thought in cold despair.
A sudden anguish oppressed his heart, he stood still in the middle of the
street and began looking about to see where he was and which way he was going.
He found himself in X. Prospect, thirty or forty paces from the Hay Market,
through which he had come. The whole second storey of the house on the left was
used as a tavern. All the windows were wide open; judging from the figures
moving at the windows, the rooms were full to overflowing. There were sounds of
singing, of clarionet and violin, and the boom of a Turkish drum. He could hear
women shrieking. He was about to turn back wondering why he had come to the
X. Prospect, when suddenly at one of the end windows he saw Svidrigaïlov, sitting
at a tea-table right in the open window with a pipe in his mouth. Raskolnikov was
dreadfully taken aback, almost terrified. Svidrigaïlov was silently watching and
scrutinising him and, what struck Raskolnikov at once, seemed to be meaning to
get up and slip away unobserved. Raskolnikov at once pretended not to have seen
him, but to be looking absent-mindedly away, while he watched him out of the
corner of his eye. His heart was beating violently. Yet, it was evident that
Svidrigaïlov did not want to be seen. He took the pipe out of his mouth and was on
the point of concealing himself, but as he got up and moved back his chair, he
seemed to have become suddenly aware that Raskolnikov had seen him, and was
watching him. What had passed between them was much the same as what
happened at their first meeting in Raskolnikov’s room. A sly smile came into
Svidrigaïlov’s face and grew broader and broader. Each knew that he was seen and
watched by the other. At last Svidrigaïlov broke into a loud laugh.
“Well, well, come in if you want me; I am here!” he shouted from the window.

Raskolnikov went up into the tavern. He found Svidrigaïlov in a tiny back

room, adjoining the saloon in which merchants, clerks and numbers of people of
all sorts were drinking tea at twenty little tables to the desperate bawling of a
chorus of singers. The click of billiard balls could be heard in the distance. On the
table before Svidrigaïlov stood an open bottle and a glass half full of champagne.
In the room he found also a boy with a little hand organ, a healthy-looking red-
cheeked girl of eighteen, wearing a tucked-up striped skirt, and a Tyrolese hat with
ribbons. In spite of the chorus in the other room, she was singing some servants’
hall song in a rather husky contralto, to the accompaniment of the organ.
“Come, that’s enough,” Svidrigaïlov stopped her at Raskolnikov’s entrance.
The girl at once broke off and stood waiting respectfully. She had sung her
guttural rhymes, too, with a serious and respectful expression in her face.

“Hey, Philip, a glass!” shouted Svidrigaïlov.

“I won’t drink anything,” said Raskolnikov.
“As you like, I didn’t mean it for you. Drink, Katia! I don’t want anything
more to-day, you can go.” He poured her out a full glass, and laid down a yellow
note.

Katia drank off her glass of wine, as women do, without putting it down, in
twenty gulps, took the note and kissed Svidrigaïlov’s hand, which he allowed quite
seriously. She went out of the room and the boy trailed after her with the organ.
Both had been brought in from the street. Svidrigaïlov had not been a week in
Petersburg, but everything about him was already, so to speak, on a patriarchal
footing; the waiter, Philip, was by now an old friend and very obsequious.

The door leading to the saloon had a lock on it. Svidrigaïlov was at home in
this room and perhaps spent whole days in it. The tavern was dirty and wretched,
not even second-rate.
“I was going to see you and looking for you,” Raskolnikov began, “but I don’t
know what made me turn from the Hay Market into the X. Prospect just now. I
never take this turning. I turn to the right from the Hay Market. And this isn’t the
way to you. I simply turned and here you are. It is strange!”
“Why don’t you say at once ‘it’s a miracle’?”
“Because it may be only chance.”

“Oh, that’s the way with all you folk,” laughed Svidrigaïlov. “You won’t admit
it, even if you do inwardly believe it a miracle! Here you say that it may be only
chance. And what cowards they all are here, about having an opinion of their own,
you can’t fancy, Rodion Romanovitch. I don’t mean you, you have an opinion of
your own and are not afraid to have it. That’s how it was you attracted my
curiosity.”

“Nothing else?”
“Well, that’s enough, you know,” Svidrigaïlov was obviously exhilarated, but
only slightly so, he had not had more than half a glass of wine.

“I fancy you came to see me before you knew that I was capable of having
what you call an opinion of my own,” observed Raskolnikov.

“Oh, well, it was a different matter. everyone has his own plans. And apropos
of the miracle let me tell you that I think you have been asleep for the last two or
three days. I told you of this tavern myself, there is no miracle in your coming
straight here. I explained the way myself, told you where it was, and the hours you
could find me here. Do you remember?”
“I don’t remember,” answered Raskolnikov with surprise.

“I believe you. I told you twice. The address has been stamped mechanically
on your memory. You turned this way mechanically and yet precisely according to
the direction, though you are not aware of it. When I told you then, I hardly hoped
you understood me. You give yourself away too much, Rodion Romanovitch. And
another thing, I’m convinced there are lots of people in Petersburg who talk to
themselves as they walk. This is a town of crazy people. If only we had scientific
men, doctors, lawyers and philosophers might make most valuable investigations
in Petersburg each in his own line. There are few places where there are so many
gloomy, strong and queer influences on the soul of man as in Petersburg. The
mere influences of climate mean so much. And it’s the administrative centre of all
Russia and its character must be reflected on the whole country. But that is
neither here nor there now. The point is that I have several times watched you.
You walk out of your house — holding your head high — twenty paces from home
you let it sink, and fold your hands behind your back. You look and evidently see
nothing before nor beside you. At last you begin moving your lips and talking to
yourself, and sometimes you wave one hand and declaim, and at last stand still in
the middle of the road. That’s not at all the thing. Someone may be watching you
besides me, and it won’t do you any good. It’s nothing really to do with me and I
can’t cure you, but, of course, you understand me.”
“Do you know that I am being followed?” asked Raskolnikov, looking
inquisitively at him.
“No, I know nothing about it,” said Svidrigaïlov, seeming surprised.

“Well, then, let us leave me alone,” Raskolnikov muttered, frowning.

“Very good, let us leave you alone.”
“You had better tell me, if you come here to drink, and directed me twice to
come here to you, why did you hide, and try to get away just now when I looked at
the window from the street? I saw it.”

“He-he! And why was it you lay on your sofa with closed eyes and pretended
to be asleep, though you were wide awake while I stood in your doorway? I saw it.”

“I may have had . . . reasons. You know that yourself.”

 “And I may have had my reasons, though you don’t know them.”
Raskolnikov dropped his right elbow on the table, leaned his chin in the
fingers of his right hand, and stared intently at Svidrigaïlov. For a full minute he
scrutinised his face, which had impressed him before. It was a strange face, like a
mask; white and red, with bright red lips, with a flaxen beard, and still thick flaxen
hair. His eyes were somehow too blue and their expression somehow too heavy
and fixed. There was something awfully unpleasant in that handsome face, which
looked so wonderfully young for his age. Svidrigaïlov was smartly dressed in light
summer clothes and was particularly dainty in his linen. He wore a huge ring with
a precious stone in it.
“Have I got to bother myself about you, too, now?” said Raskolnikov
suddenly, coming with nervous impatience straight to the point. “Even though
perhaps you are the most dangerous man if you care to injure me, I don’t want to
put myself out any more. I will show you at once that I don’t prize myself as you
probably think I do. I’ve come to tell you at once that if you keep to your former
intentions with regard to my sister and if you think to derive any benefit in that
direction from what has been discovered of late, I will kill you before you get me
locked up. You can reckon on my word. You know that I can keep it. And in the
second place if you want to tell me anything — for I keep fancying all this time that
you have something to tell me — make haste and tell it, for time is precious and
very likely it will soon be too late.”

“Why in such haste?” asked Svidrigaïlov, looking at him curiously.

“Everyone has his plans,” Raskolnikov answered gloomily and impatiently.

“You urged me yourself to frankness just now, and at the first question you
refuse to answer,” Svidrigaïlov observed with a smile. “You keep fancying that I
have aims of my own and so you look at me with suspicion. Of course it’s perfectly
natural in your position. But though I should like to be friends with you, I shan’t
trouble myself to convince you of the contrary. The game isn’t worth the candle
and I wasn’t intending to talk to you about anything special.”

“What did you want me, for, then? It was you who came hanging about me.”
“Why, simply as an interesting subject for observation. I liked the fantastic
nature of your position — that’s what it was! Besides you are the brother of a
person who greatly interested me, and from that person I had in the past heard a
very great deal about you, from which I gathered that you had a great influence
over her; isn’t that enough? Ha-ha-ha! Still I must admit that your question is
rather complex, and is difficult for me to answer. Here, you, for instance, have
come to me not only for a definite object, but for the sake of hearing something
new. Isn’t that so? Isn’t that so?” persisted Svidrigaïlov with a sly smile. “Well,
can’t you fancy then that I, too, on my way here in the train was reckoning on you,
on your telling me something new, and on my making some profit out of you! You
see what rich men we are!”

“What profit could you make?”

“How can I tell you? How do I know? You see in what a tavern I spend all my
time and it’s my enjoyment, that’s to say it’s no great enjoyment, but one must sit
somewhere; that poor Katia now — you saw her? . . . If only I had been a glutton
now, a club gourmand, but you see I can eat this.”
He pointed to a little table in the corner where the remnants of a terrible-
looking beef-steak and potatoes lay on a tin dish.

“Have you dined, by the way? I’ve had something and want nothing more. I
don’t drink, for instance, at all. Except for champagne I never touch anything, and
not more than a glass of that all the evening, and even that is enough to make my
head ache. I ordered it just now to wind myself up, for I am just going off
somewhere and you see me in a peculiar state of mind. That was why I hid myself
just now like a schoolboy, for I was afraid you would hinder me. But I believe,” he
pulled out his watch, “I can spend an hour with you. It’s half-past four now. If only
I’d been something, a landowner, a father, a cavalry officer, a photographer, a
journalist . . . I am nothing, no specialty, and sometimes I am positively bored. I
really thought you would tell me something new.”
“But what are you, and why have you come here?”

“What am I? You know, a gentleman, I served for two years in the cavalry,
then I knocked about here in Petersburg, then I married Marfa Petrovna and lived
in the country. There you have my biography!”

“You are a gambler, I believe?”

“No, a poor sort of gambler. A card-sharper — not a gambler.”

“You have been a card-sharper then?”
 “Yes, I’ve been a card-sharper too.”

“Didn’t you get thrashed sometimes?”

“It did happen. Why?”

“Why, you might have challenged them . . . altogether it must have been
lively.”

“I won’t contradict you, and besides I am no hand at philosophy. I confess

that I hastened here for the sake of the women.”

“As soon as you buried Marfa Petrovna?”

“Quite so,” Svidrigaïlov smiled with engaging candour. “What of it? You seem
to find something wrong in my speaking like that about women?”
“You ask whether I find anything wrong in vice?”

“Vice! Oh, that’s what you are after! But I’ll answer you in order, first about
women in general; you know I am fond of talking. Tell me, what should I restrain
myself for? Why should I give up women, since I have a passion for them? It’s an
occupation, anyway.”

“So you hope for nothing here but vice?”

“Oh, very well, for vice then. You insist on its being vice. But anyway I like a
direct question. In this vice at least there is something permanent, founded indeed
upon nature and not dependent on fantasy, something present in the blood like an
ever-burning ember, for ever setting one on fire and, maybe, not to be quickly
extinguished, even with years. You’ll agree it’s an occupation of a sort.”
“That’s nothing to rejoice at, it’s a disease and a dangerous one.”

“Oh, that’s what you think, is it! I agree, that it is a disease like everything that
exceeds moderation. And, of course, in this one must exceed moderation. But in
the first place, everybody does so in one way or another, and in the second place,
of course, one ought to be moderate and prudent, however mean it may be, but
what am I to do? If I hadn’t this, I might have to shoot myself. I am ready to admit
that a decent man ought to put up with being bored, but yet …”
“And could you shoot yourself?”

“Oh, come!” Svidrigaïlov parried with disgust. “Please don’t speak of it,” he
added hurriedly and with none of the bragging tone he had shown in all the
previous conversation. His face quite changed. “I admit it’s an unpardonable
weakness, but I can’t help it. I am afraid of death and I dislike its being talked of.
Do you know that I am to a certain extent a mystic?”

“Ah, the apparitions of Marfa Petrovna! Do they still go on visiting you?”

“Oh, don’t talk of them; there have been no more in Petersburg, confound
them!” he cried with an air of irritation. “Let’s rather talk of that . . . though . . .
H’m! I have not much time, and can’t stay long with you, it’s a pity! I should have
found plenty to tell you.”

“What’s your engagement, a woman?”

“Yes, a woman, a casual incident. . . . No, that’s not what I want to talk of.”

“And the hideousness, the filthiness of all your surroundings, doesn’t that
affect you? Have you lost the strength to stop yourself?”
“And do you pretend to strength, too? He-he-he! You surprised me just now,
Rodion Romanovitch, though I knew beforehand it would be so. You preach to me
about vice and æsthetics! You — a Schiller, you — an idealist! Of course that’s all
as it should be and it would be surprising if it were not so, yet it is strange in
reality. . . . Ah, what a pity I have no time, for you’re a most interesting type! And,
by-the-way, are you fond of Schiller? I am awfully fond of him.”

“But what a braggart you are,” Raskolnikov said with some disgust.

“Upon my word, I am not,” answered Svidrigaïlov laughing. “However, I

won’t dispute it, let me be a braggart, why not brag, if it hurts no one? I spent
seven years in the country with Marfa Petrovna, so now when I come across an
intelligent person like you — intelligent and highly interesting — I am simply glad
to talk and, besides, I’ve drunk that half-glass of champagne and it’s gone to my
head a little. And besides, there’s a certain fact that has wound me up
tremendously, but about that I . . . will keep quiet. Where are you off to?” he asked
in alarm.

Raskolnikov had begun getting up. He felt oppressed and stifled and, as it
were, ill at ease at having come here. He felt convinced that Svidrigaïlov was the
most worthless scoundrel on the face of the earth.

“A-ach! Sit down, stay a little!” Svidrigaïlov begged. “Let them bring you some
tea, anyway. Stay a little, I won’t talk nonsense, about myself, I mean. I’ll tell you
something. If you like I’ll tell you how a woman tried ‘to save’ me, as you would
call it? It will be an answer to your first question indeed, for the woman was your
sister. May I tell you? It will help to spend the time.”
“Tell me, but I trust that you …”

“Oh, don’t be uneasy. Besides, even in a worthless low fellow like me, Avdotya
Romanovna can only excite the deepest respect.”
 CHAPTER IV

“You know perhaps — yes, I told you myself,” began Svidrigaïlov, “that I was in the
debtors’ prison here, for an immense sum, and had not any expectation of being
able to pay it. There’s no need to go into particulars how Marfa Petrovna bought
me out; do you know to what a point of insanity a woman can sometimes love?
She was an honest woman, and very sensible, although completely uneducated.
Would you believe that this honest and jealous woman, after many scenes of
hysterics and reproaches, condescended to enter into a kind of contract with me
which she kept throughout our married life? She was considerably older than I,
and besides, she always kept a clove or something in her mouth. There was so
much swinishness in my soul and honesty too, of a sort, as to tell her straight out
that I couldn’t be absolutely faithful to her. This confession drove her to frenzy,
but yet she seems in a way to have liked my brutal frankness. She thought it
showed I was unwilling to deceive her if I warned her like this beforehand and for
a jealous woman, you know, that’s the first consideration. After many tears an
unwritten contract was drawn up between us: first, that I would never leave Marfa
Petrovna and would always be her husband; secondly, that I would never absent
myself without her permission; thirdly, that I would never set up a permanent
mistress; fourthly, in return for this, Marfa Petrovna gave me a free hand with the
maidservants, but only with her secret knowledge; fifthly, God forbid my falling in
love with a woman of our class; sixthly, in case I— which God forbid — should be
visited by a great serious passion I was bound to reveal it to Marfa Petrovna. On
this last score, however, Marfa Petrovna was fairly at ease. She was a sensible
woman and so she could not help looking upon me as a dissolute profligate
incapable of real love. But a sensible woman and a jealous woman are two very
different things, and that’s where the trouble came in. But to judge some people
impartially we must renounce certain preconceived opinions and our habitual
attitude to the ordinary people about us. I have reason to have faith in your
judgment rather than in anyone’s. Perhaps you have already heard a great deal
that was ridiculous and absurd about Marfa Petrovna. She certainly had some very
ridiculous ways, but I tell you frankly that I feel really sorry for the innumerable
woes of which I was the cause. Well, and that’s enough, I think, by way of a
decorous oraison funèbre for the most tender wife of a most tender husband.
When we quarrelled, I usually held my tongue and did not irritate her and that
gentlemanly conduct rarely failed to attain its object, it influenced her, it pleased
her, indeed. These were times when she was positively proud of me. But your
sister she couldn’t put up with, anyway. And however she came to risk taking such
a beautiful creature into her house as a governess. My explanation is that Marfa
Petrovna was an ardent and impressionable woman and simply fell in love herself
— literally fell in love — with your sister. Well, little wonder — look at Avdotya
Romanovna! I saw the danger at the first glance and what do you think, I resolved
not to look at her even. But Avdotya Romanovna herself made the first step, would
you believe it? Would you believe it too that Marfa Petrovna was positively angry
with me at first for my persistent silence about your sister, for my careless
reception of her continual adoring praises of Avdotya Romanovna. I don’t know
what it was she wanted! Well, of course, Marfa Petrovna told Avdotya Romanovna
every detail about me. She had the unfortunate habit of telling literally everyone
all our family secrets and continually complaining of me; how could she fail to
confide in such a delightful new friend? I expect they talked of nothing else but me
and no doubt Avdotya Romanovna heard all those dark mysterious rumours that
were current about me. . . . I don’t mind betting that you too have heard
something of the sort already?”

“I have. Luzhin charged you with having caused the death of a child. Is that
true?”

“Don’t refer to those vulgar tales, I beg,” said Svidrigaïlov with disgust and
annoyance. “If you insist on wanting to know about all that idiocy, I will tell you
one day, but now …”

“I was told too about some footman of yours in the country whom you treated
badly.”

“I beg you to drop the subject,” Svidrigaïlov interrupted again with obvious
impatience.
“Was that the footman who came to you after death to fill your pipe? . . . you
told me about it yourself.” Raskolnikov felt more and more irritated.

Svidrigaïlov looked at him attentively and Raskolnikov fancied he caught a

flash of spiteful mockery in that look. But Svidrigaïlov restrained himself and
answered very civilly:

“Yes, it was. I see that you, too, are extremely interested and shall feel it my
duty to satisfy your curiosity at the first opportunity. Upon my soul! I see that I
really might pass for a romantic figure with some people. Judge how grateful I
must be to Marfa Petrovna for having repeated to Avdotya Romanovna such
mysterious and interesting gossip about me. I dare not guess what impression it
made on her, but in any case it worked in my interests. With all Avdotya
Romanovna’s natural aversion and in spite of my invariably gloomy and repellent
aspect — she did at least feel pity for me, pity for a lost soul. And if once a girl’s
heart is moved to pity, it’s more dangerous than anything. She is bound to want to
‘save him,’ to bring him to his senses, and lift him up and draw him to nobler
aims, and restore him to new life and usefulness — well, we all know how far such
dreams can go. I saw at once that the bird was flying into the cage of herself. And I
too made ready. I think you are frowning, Rodion Romanovitch? There’s no need.
As you know, it all ended in smoke. (Hang it all, what a lot I am drinking!) Do you
know, I always, from the very beginning, regretted that it wasn’t your sister’s fate
to be born in the second or third century A.D., as the daughter of a reigning prince
or some governor or pro-consul in Asia Minor. She would undoubtedly have been
one of those who would endure martyrdom and would have smiled when they
branded her bosom with hot pincers. And she would have gone to it of herself.
And in the fourth or fifth century she would have walked away into the Egyptian
desert and would have stayed there thirty years living on roots and ecstasies and
visions. She is simply thirsting to face some torture for someone, and if she can’t
get her torture, she’ll throw herself out of a window. I’ve heard something of a Mr.
Razumihin — he’s said to be a sensible fellow; his surname suggests it, indeed.
He’s probably a divinity student. Well, he’d better look after your sister! I believe I
understand her, and I am proud of it. But at the beginning of an acquaintance, as
you know, one is apt to be more heedless and stupid. One doesn’t see clearly.
Hang it all, why is she so handsome? It’s not my fault. In fact, it began on my side
with a most irresistible physical desire. Avdotya Romanovna is awfully chaste,
incredibly and phenomenally so. Take note, I tell you this about your sister as a
fact. She is almost morbidly chaste, in spite of her broad intelligence, and it will
stand in her way. There happened to be a girl in the house then, Parasha, a black-
eyed wench, whom I had never seen before — she had just come from another
village — very pretty, but incredibly stupid: she burst into tears, wailed so that she
could be heard all over the place and caused scandal. One day after dinner
Avdotya Romanovna followed me into an avenue in the garden and with flashing
eyes insisted on my leaving poor Parasha alone. It was almost our first
conversation by ourselves. I, of course, was only too pleased to obey her wishes,
tried to appear disconcerted, embarrassed, in fact played my part not badly. Then
came interviews, mysterious conversations, exhortations, entreaties,
supplications, even tears — would you believe it, even tears? Think what the
passion for propaganda will bring some girls to! I, of course, threw it all on my
destiny, posed as hungering and thirsting for light, and finally resorted to the most
powerful weapon in the subjection of the female heart, a weapon which never fails
one. It’s the well-known resource — flattery. Nothing in the world is harder than
speaking the truth and nothing easier than flattery. If there’s the hundredth part
of a false note in speaking the truth, it leads to a discord, and that leads to trouble.
But if all, to the last note, is false in flattery, it is just as agreeable, and is heard not
without satisfaction. It may be a coarse satisfaction, but still a satisfaction. And
however coarse the flattery, at least half will be sure to seem true. That’s so for all
stages of development and classes of society. A vestal virgin might be seduced by
flattery. I can never remember without laughter how I once seduced a lady who
was devoted to her husband, her children, and her principles. What fun it was and
how little trouble! And the lady really had principles — of her own, anyway. All my
tactics lay in simply being utterly annihilated and prostrate before her purity. I
flattered her shamelessly, and as soon as I succeeded in getting a pressure of the
hand, even a glance from her, I would reproach myself for having snatched it by
force, and would declare that she had resisted, so that I could never have gained
anything but for my being so unprincipled. I maintained that she was so innocent
that she could not foresee my treachery, and yielded to me unconsciously,
unawares, and so on. In fact, I triumphed, while my lady remained firmly
convinced that she was innocent, chaste, and faithful to all her duties and
obligations and had succumbed quite by accident. And how angry she was with me
when I explained to her at last that it was my sincere conviction that she was just
as eager as I. Poor Marfa Petrovna was awfully weak on the side of flattery, and if I
had only cared to, I might have had all her property settled on me during her
lifetime. (I am drinking an awful lot of wine now and talking too much.) I hope
you won’t be angry if I mention now that I was beginning to produce the same
effect on Avdotya Romanovna. But I was stupid and impatient and spoiled it all.
Avdotya Romanovna had several times — and one time in particular — been
greatly displeased by the expression of my eyes, would you believe it? There was
sometimes a light in them which frightened her and grew stronger and stronger
and more unguarded till it was hateful to her. No need to go into detail, but we
parted. There I acted stupidly again. I fell to jeering in the coarsest way at all such
propaganda and efforts to convert me; Parasha came on to the scene again, and
not she alone; in fact there was a tremendous to-do. Ah, Rodion Romanovitch, if
you could only see how your sister’s eyes can flash sometimes! Never mind my
being drunk at this moment and having had a whole glass of wine. I am speaking
the truth. I assure you that this glance has haunted my dreams; the very rustle of
her dress was more than I could stand at last. I really began to think that I might
become epileptic. I could never have believed that I could be moved to such a
frenzy. It was essential, indeed, to be reconciled, but by then it was impossible.
And imagine what I did then! To what a pitch of stupidity a man can be brought by
frenzy! Never undertake anything in a frenzy, Rodion Romanovitch. I reflected
that Avdotya Romanovna was after all a beggar (ach, excuse me, that’s not the
word . . . but does it matter if it expresses the meaning?), that she lived by her
work, that she had her mother and you to keep (ach, hang it, you are frowning
again), and I resolved to offer her all my money — thirty thousand roubles I could
have realised then — if she would run away with me here, to Petersburg. Of course
I should have vowed eternal love, rapture, and so on. Do you know, I was so wild
about her at that time that if she had told me to poison Marfa Petrovna or to cut
her throat and to marry herself, it would have been done at once! But it ended in
the catastrophe of which you know already. You can fancy how frantic I was when
I heard that Marfa Petrovna had got hold of that scoundrelly attorney, Luzhin, and
had almost made a match between them — which would really have been just the
same thing as I was proposing. Wouldn’t it? Wouldn’t it? I notice that you’ve
begun to be very attentive . . . you interesting young man . . . .”
Svidrigaïlov struck the table with his fist impatiently. He was flushed.
Raskolnikov saw clearly that the glass or glass and a half of champagne that he
had sipped almost unconsciously was affecting him — and he resolved to take
advantage of the opportunity. He felt very suspicious of Svidrigaïlov.
“Well, after what you have said, I am fully convinced that you have come to
Petersburg with designs on my sister,” he said directly to Svidrigaïlov, in order to
irritate him further.

“Oh, nonsense,” said Svidrigaïlov, seeming to rouse himself. “Why, I told you
. . . besides your sister can’t endure me.”
“Yes, I am certain that she can’t, but that’s not the point.”

“Are you so sure that she can’t?” Svidrigaïlov screwed up his eyes and smiled
mockingly. “You are right, she doesn’t love me, but you can never be sure of what
has passed between husband and wife or lover and mistress. There’s always a little
corner which remains a secret to the world and is only known to those two. Will
you answer for it that Avdotya Romanovna regarded me with aversion?”
“From some words you’ve dropped, I notice that you still have designs — and
of course evil ones — on Dounia and mean to carry them out promptly.”
“What, have I dropped words like that?” Svidrigaïlov asked in naïve dismay,
taking not the slightest notice of the epithet bestowed on his designs.

“Why, you are dropping them even now. Why are you so frightened? What are
you so afraid of now?”
“Me — afraid? Afraid of you? You have rather to be afraid of me, cher ami.
But what nonsense. . . . I’ve drunk too much though, I see that. I was almost saying
too much again. Damn the wine! Hi! there, water!”

He snatched up the champagne bottle and flung it without ceremony out of

the window. Philip brought the water.

“That’s all nonsense!” said Svidrigaïlov, wetting a towel and putting it to his
head. “But I can answer you in one word and annihilate all your suspicions. Do
you know that I am going to get married?”
“You told me so before.”

“Did I? I’ve forgotten. But I couldn’t have told you so for certain for I had not
even seen my betrothed; I only meant to. But now I really have a betrothed and it’s
a settled thing, and if it weren’t that I have business that can’t be put off, I would
have taken you to see them at once, for I should like to ask your advice. Ach, hang
it, only ten minutes left! See, look at the watch. But I must tell you, for it’s an
interesting story, my marriage, in its own way. Where are you off to? Going
again?”
“No, I’m not going away now.”

“Not at all? We shall see. I’ll take you there, I’ll show you my betrothed, only
not now. For you’ll soon have to be off. You have to go to the right and I to the left.
Do you know that Madame Resslich, the woman I am lodging with now, eh? I
know what you’re thinking, that she’s the woman whose girl they say drowned
herself in the winter. Come, are you listening? She arranged it all for me. You’re
bored, she said, you want something to fill up your time. For, you know, I am a
gloomy, depressed person. Do you think I’m light-hearted? No, I’m gloomy. I do
no harm, but sit in a corner without speaking a word for three days at a time. And
that Resslich is a sly hussy, I tell you. I know what she has got in her mind; she
thinks I shall get sick of it, abandon my wife and depart, and she’ll get hold of her
and make a profit out of her — in our class, of course, or higher. She told me the
father was a broken-down retired official, who has been sitting in a chair for the
last three years with his legs paralysed. The mamma, she said, was a sensible
woman. There is a son serving in the provinces, but he doesn’t help; there is a
daughter, who is married, but she doesn’t visit them. And they’ve two little
nephews on their hands, as though their own children were not enough, and
they’ve taken from school their youngest daughter, a girl who’ll be sixteen in
another month, so that then she can be married. She was for me. We went there.
How funny it was! I present myself — a landowner, a widower, of a well-known
name, with connections, with a fortune. What if I am fifty and she is not sixteen?
Who thinks of that? But it’s fascinating, isn’t it? It is fascinating, ha-ha! You
should have seen how I talked to the papa and mamma. It was worth paying to
have seen me at that moment. She comes in, curtseys, you can fancy, still in a
short frock — an unopened bud! Flushing like a sunset — she had been told, no
doubt. I don’t know how you feel about female faces, but to my mind these sixteen
years, these childish eyes, shyness and tears of bashfulness are better than beauty;
and she is a perfect little picture, too. Fair hair in little curls, like a lamb’s, full
little rosy lips, tiny feet, a charmer! . . . Well, we made friends. I told them I was in
a hurry owing to domestic circumstances, and the next day, that is the day before
yesterday, we were betrothed. When I go now I take her on my knee at once and
keep her there. . . . Well, she flushes like a sunset and I kiss her every minute. Her
mamma of course impresses on her that this is her husband and that this must be
so. It’s simply delicious! The present betrothed condition is perhaps better than
marriage. Here you have what is called la nature et la vérité, ha-ha! I’ve talked to
her twice, she is far from a fool. Sometimes she steals a look at me that positively
scorches me. Her face is like Raphael’s Madonna. You know, the Sistine
Madonna’s face has something fantastic in it, the face of mournful religious
ecstasy. Haven’t you noticed it? Well, she’s something in that line. The day after
we’d been betrothed, I bought her presents to the value of fifteen hundred roubles
— a set of diamonds and another of pearls and a silver dressing-case as large as
this, with all sorts of things in it, so that even my Madonna’s face glowed. I sat her
on my knee, yesterday, and I suppose rather too unceremoniously — she flushed
crimson and the tears started, but she didn’t want to show it. We were left alone,
she suddenly flung herself on my neck (for the first time of her own accord), put
her little arms round me, kissed me, and vowed that she would be an obedient,
faithful, and good wife, would make me happy, would devote all her life, every
minute of her life, would sacrifice everything, everything, and that all she asks in
return is my respect, and that she wants ‘nothing, nothing more from me, no
presents.’ You’ll admit that to hear such a confession, alone, from an angel of
sixteen in a muslin frock, with little curls, with a flush of maiden shyness in her
cheeks and tears of enthusiasm in her eyes is rather fascinating! Isn’t it
fascinating? It’s worth paying for, isn’t it? Well . . . listen, we’ll go to see my
betrothed, only not just now!”

“The fact is this monstrous difference in age and development excites your
sensuality! Will you really make such a marriage?”
“Why, of course. Everyone thinks of himself, and he lives most gaily who
knows best how to deceive himself. Ha-ha! But why are you so keen about virtue?
Have mercy on me, my good friend. I am a sinful man. Ha-ha-ha!”

“But you have provided for the children of Katerina Ivanovna. Though . . .
though you had your own reasons. . . . I understand it all now.”

“I am always fond of children, very fond of them,” laughed Svidrigaïlov. “I can

tell you one curious instance of it. The first day I came here I visited various
haunts, after seven years I simply rushed at them. You probably notice that I am
not in a hurry to renew acquaintance with my old friends. I shall do without them
as long as I can. Do you know, when I was with Marfa Petrovna in the country, I
was haunted by the thought of these places where anyone who knows his way
about can find a great deal. Yes, upon my soul! The peasants have vodka, the
educated young people, shut out from activity, waste themselves in impossible
dreams and visions and are crippled by theories; Jews have sprung up and are
amassing money, and all the rest give themselves up to debauchery. From the first
hour the town reeked of its familiar odours. I chanced to be in a frightful den — I
like my dens dirty — it was a dance, so called, and there was a cancan such as I
never saw in my day. Yes, there you have progress. All of a sudden I saw a little girl
of thirteen, nicely dressed, dancing with a specialist in that line, with another one
vis-à-vis. Her mother was sitting on a chair by the wall. You can’t fancy what a
cancan that was! The girl was ashamed, blushed, at last felt insulted, and began to
cry. Her partner seized her and began whirling her round and performing before
her; everyone laughed and — I like your public, even the cancan public — they
laughed and shouted, ‘Serves her right — serves her right! Shouldn’t bring
children!’ Well, it’s not my business whether that consoling reflection was logical
or not. I at once fixed on my plan, sat down by the mother, and began by saying
that I too was a stranger and that people here were ill-bred and that they couldn’t
distinguish decent folks and treat them with respect, gave her to understand that I
had plenty of money, offered to take them home in my carriage. I took them home
and got to know them. They were lodging in a miserable little hole and had only
just arrived from the country. She told me that she and her daughter could only
regard my acquaintance as an honour. I found out that they had nothing of their
own and had come to town upon some legal business. I proffered my services and
money. I learnt that they had gone to the dancing saloon by mistake, believing that
it was a genuine dancing class. I offered to assist in the young girl’s education in
French and dancing. My offer was accepted with enthusiasm as an honour — and
we are still friendly. . . . If you like, we’ll go and see them, only not just now.”
“Stop! Enough of your vile, nasty anecdotes, depraved vile, sensual man!”

“Schiller, you are a regular Schiller! O la vertu va-t-elle se nicher? But you
know I shall tell you these things on purpose, for the pleasure of hearing your
outcries!”
“I dare say. I can see I am ridiculous myself,” muttered Raskolnikov angrily.

Svidrigaïlov laughed heartily; finally he called Philip, paid his bill, and began
getting up.
“I say, but I am drunk, assez causé,” he said. “It’s been a pleasure.”

“I should rather think it must be a pleasure!” cried Raskolnikov, getting up.

“No doubt it is a pleasure for a worn-out profligate to describe such adventures
with a monstrous project of the same sort in his mind — especially under such
circumstances and to such a man as me. . . . It’s stimulating!”

“Well, if you come to that,” Svidrigaïlov answered, scrutinising Raskolnikov

with some surprise, “if you come to that, you are a thorough cynic yourself. You’ve
plenty to make you so, anyway. You can understand a great deal . . . and you can
do a great deal too. But enough. I sincerely regret not having had more talk with
you, but I shan’t lose sight of you . . . . Only wait a bit.”

Svidrigaïlov walked out of the restaurant. Raskolnikov walked out after him.
Svidrigaïlov was not however very drunk, the wine had affected him for a moment,
but it was passing off every minute. He was preoccupied with something of
importance and was frowning. He was apparently excited and uneasy in
anticipation of something. His manner to Raskolnikov had changed during the
last few minutes, and he was ruder and more sneering every moment. Raskolnikov
noticed all this, and he too was uneasy. He became very suspicious of Svidrigaïlov
and resolved to follow him.

They came out on to the pavement.

“You go to the right, and I to the left, or if you like, the other way. Only adieu,
mon plaisir, may we meet again.”

And he walked to the right towards the Hay Market.

 CHAPTER V

Raskolnikov walked after him.

“What’s this?” cried Svidrigaïlov turning round, “I thought I said …”

“It means that I am not going to lose sight of you now.”

“What?”

Both stood still and gazed at one another, as though measuring their strength.

“From all your half tipsy stories,” Raskolnikov observed harshly, “I am

positive that you have not given up your designs on my sister, but are pursuing
them more actively than ever. I have learnt that my sister received a letter this
morning. You have hardly been able to sit still all this time. . . . You may have
unearthed a wife on the way, but that means nothing. I should like to make certain
myself.”

Raskolnikov could hardly have said himself what he wanted and of what he
wished to make certain.

“Upon my word! I’ll call the police!”

“Call away!”
Again they stood for a minute facing each other. At last Svidrigaïlov’s face
changed. Having satisfied himself that Raskolnikov was not frightened at his
threat, he assumed a mirthful and friendly air.
“What a fellow! I purposely refrained from referring to your affair, though I
am devoured by curiosity. It’s a fantastic affair. I’ve put it off till another time, but
you’re enough to rouse the dead. . . . Well, let us go, only I warn you beforehand I
am only going home for a moment, to get some money; then I shall lock up the
flat, take a cab and go to spend the evening at the Islands. Now, now are you going
to follow me?”
“I’m coming to your lodgings, not to see you but Sofya Semyonovna, to say
I’m sorry not to have been at the funeral.”

“That’s as you like, but Sofya Semyonovna is not at home. She has taken the
three children to an old lady of high rank, the patroness of some orphan asylums,
whom I used to know years ago. I charmed the old lady by depositing a sum of
money with her to provide for the three children of Katerina Ivanovna and
subscribing to the institution as well. I told her too the story of Sofya Semyonovna
in full detail, suppressing nothing. It produced an indescribable effect on her.
That’s why Sofya Semyonovna has been invited to call to-day at the X. Hotel where
the lady is staying for the time.”
“No matter, I’ll come all the same.”

“As you like, it’s nothing to me, but I won’t come with you; here we are at
home. By the way, I am convinced that you regard me with suspicion just because
I have shown such delicacy and have not so far troubled you with questions . . .
you understand? It struck you as extraordinary; I don’t mind betting it’s that.
Well, it teaches one to show delicacy!”
“And to listen at doors!”

“Ah, that’s it, is it?” laughed Svidrigaïlov. “Yes, I should have been surprised if
you had let that pass after all that has happened. Ha-ha! Though I did understand
something of the pranks you had been up to and were telling Sofya Semyonovna
about, what was the meaning of it? Perhaps I am quite behind the times and can’t
understand. For goodness’ sake, explain it, my dear boy. Expound the latest
theories!”

“You couldn’t have heard anything. You’re making it all up!”

“But I’m not talking about that (though I did hear something). No, I’m talking
of the way you keep sighing and groaning now. The Schiller in you is in revolt
every moment, and now you tell me not to listen at doors. If that’s how you feel, go
and inform the police that you had this mischance: you made a little mistake in
your theory. But if you are convinced that one mustn’t listen at doors, but one may
murder old women at one’s pleasure, you’d better be off to America and make
haste. Run, young man! There may still be time. I’m speaking sincerely. Haven’t
you the money? I’ll give you the fare.”

“I’m not thinking of that at all,” Raskolnikov interrupted with disgust.

“I understand (but don’t put yourself out, don’t discuss it if you don’t want
to). I understand the questions you are worrying over — moral ones, aren’t they?
Duties of citizen and man? Lay them all aside. They are nothing to you now, ha-
ha! You’ll say you are still a man and a citizen. If so you ought not to have got into
this coil. It’s no use taking up a job you are not fit for. Well, you’d better shoot
yourself, or don’t you want to?”

“You seem trying to enrage me, to make me leave you.”

“What a queer fellow! But here we are. Welcome to the staircase. You see,
that’s the way to Sofya Semyonovna. Look, there is no one at home. Don’t you
believe me? Ask Kapernaumov. She leaves the key with him. Here is Madame de
Kapernaumov herself. Hey, what? She is rather deaf. Has she gone out? Where?
Did you hear? She is not in and won’t be till late in the evening probably. Well,
come to my room; you wanted to come and see me, didn’t you? Here we are.
Madame Resslich’s not at home. She is a woman who is always busy, an excellent
woman I assure you. . . . She might have been of use to you if you had been a little
more sensible. Now, see! I take this five-per-cent bond out of the bureau — see
what a lot I’ve got of them still — this one will be turned into cash to-day. I mustn’t
waste any more time. The bureau is locked, the flat is locked, and here we are
again on the stairs. Shall we take a cab? I’m going to the Islands. Would you like a
lift? I’ll take this carriage. Ah, you refuse? You are tired of it! Come for a drive! I
believe it will come on to rain. Never mind, we’ll put down the hood . . . .”

Svidrigaïlov was already in the carriage. Raskolnikov decided that his

suspicions were at least for that moment unjust. Without answering a word he
turned and walked back towards the Hay Market. If he had only turned round on
his way he might have seen Svidrigaïlov get out not a hundred paces off, dismiss
the cab and walk along the pavement. But he had turned the corner and could see
nothing. Intense disgust drew him away from Svidrigaïlov.
“To think that I could for one instant have looked for help from that coarse
brute, that depraved sensualist and blackguard!” he cried.
Raskolnikov’s judgment was uttered too lightly and hastily: there was
something about Svidrigaïlov which gave him a certain original, even a mysterious
character. As concerned his sister, Raskolnikov was convinced that Svidrigaïlov
would not leave her in peace. But it was too tiresome and unbearable to go on
thinking and thinking about this.

When he was alone, he had not gone twenty paces before he sank, as usual,
into deep thought. On the bridge he stood by the railing and began gazing at the
water. And his sister was standing close by him.
He met her at the entrance to the bridge, but passed by without seeing her.
Dounia had never met him like this in the street before and was struck with
dismay. She stood still and did not know whether to call to him or not. Suddenly
she saw Svidrigaïlov coming quickly from the direction of the Hay Market.
He seemed to be approaching cautiously. He did not go on to the bridge, but
stood aside on the pavement, doing all he could to avoid Raskolnikov’s seeing him.
He had observed Dounia for some time and had been making signs to her. She
fancied he was signalling to beg her not to speak to her brother, but to come to
him.

That was what Dounia did. She stole by her brother and went up to
Svidrigaïlov.
“Let us make haste away,” Svidrigaïlov whispered to her, “I don’t want Rodion
Romanovitch to know of our meeting. I must tell you I’ve been sitting with him in
the restaurant close by, where he looked me up and I had great difficulty in getting
rid of him. He has somehow heard of my letter to you and suspects something. It
wasn’t you who told him, of course, but if not you, who then?”
“Well, we’ve turned the corner now,” Dounia interrupted, “and my brother
won’t see us. I have to tell you that I am going no further with you. Speak to me
here. You can tell it all in the street.”
“In the first place, I can’t say it in the street; secondly, you must hear Sofya
Semyonovna too; and, thirdly, I will show you some papers. . . . Oh well, if you
won’t agree to come with me, I shall refuse to give any explanation and go away at
once. But I beg you not to forget that a very curious secret of your beloved
brother’s is entirely in my keeping.”

Dounia stood still, hesitating, and looked at Svidrigaïlov with searching eyes.
“What are you afraid of?” he observed quietly. “The town is not the country.
And even in the country you did me more harm than I did you.”
“Have you prepared Sofya Semyonovna?”
“No, I have not said a word to her and am not quite certain whether she is at
home now. But most likely she is. She has buried her stepmother to-day: she is not
likely to go visiting on such a day. For the time I don’t want to speak to anyone
about it and I half regret having spoken to you. The slightest indiscretion is as bad
as betrayal in a thing like this. I live there in that house, we are coming to it. That’s
the porter of our house — he knows me very well; you see, he’s bowing; he sees I’m
coming with a lady and no doubt he has noticed your face already and you will be
glad of that if you are afraid of me and suspicious. Excuse my putting things so
coarsely. I haven’t a flat to myself; Sofya Semyonovna’s room is next to mine —
she lodges in the next flat. The whole floor is let out in lodgings. Why are you
frightened like a child? Am I really so terrible?”

Svidrigaïlov’s lips were twisted in a condescending smile; but he was in no

smiling mood. His heart was throbbing and he could scarcely breathe. He spoke
rather loud to cover his growing excitement. But Dounia did not notice this
peculiar excitement, she was so irritated by his remark that she was frightened of
him like a child and that he was so terrible to her.
“Though I know that you are not a man . . . of honour, I am not in the least
afraid of you. Lead the way,” she said with apparent composure, but her face was
very pale.

Svidrigaïlov stopped at Sonia’s room.

“Allow me to inquire whether she is at home. . . . She is not. How unfortunate!
But I know she may come quite soon. If she’s gone out, it can only be to see a lady
about the orphans. Their mother is dead. . . . I’ve been meddling and making
arrangements for them. If Sofya Semyonovna does not come back in ten minutes,
I will send her to you, to-day if you like. This is my flat. These are my two rooms.
Madame Resslich, my landlady, has the next room. Now, look this way. I will show
you my chief piece of evidence: this door from my bedroom leads into two
perfectly empty rooms, which are to let. Here they are . . . You must look into them
with some attention.”

Svidrigaïlov occupied two fairly large furnished rooms. Dounia was looking
about her mistrustfully, but saw nothing special in the furniture or position of the
rooms. Yet there was something to observe, for instance, that Svidrigaïlov’s flat
was exactly between two sets of almost uninhabited apartments. His rooms were
not entered directly from the passage, but through the landlady’s two almost
empty rooms. Unlocking a door leading out of his bedroom, Svidrigaïlov showed
Dounia the two empty rooms that were to let. Dounia stopped in the doorway, not
knowing what she was called to look upon, but Svidrigaïlov hastened to explain.

“Look here, at this second large room. Notice that door, it’s locked. By the
door stands a chair, the only one in the two rooms. I brought it from my rooms so
as to listen more conveniently. Just the other side of the door is Sofya
Semyonovna’s table; she sat there talking to Rodion Romanovitch. And I sat here
listening on two successive evenings, for two hours each time — and of course I
was able to learn something, what do you think?”
“You listened?”

“Yes, I did. Now come back to my room; we can’t sit down here.”
He brought Avdotya Romanovna back into his sitting-room and offered her a
chair. He sat down at the opposite side of the table, at least seven feet from her,
but probably there was the same glow in his eyes which had once frightened
Dounia so much. She shuddered and once more looked about her distrustfully. It
was an involuntary gesture; she evidently did not wish to betray her uneasiness.
But the secluded position of Svidrigaïlov’s lodging had suddenly struck her. She
wanted to ask whether his landlady at least were at home, but pride kept her from
asking. Moreover, she had another trouble in her heart incomparably greater than
fear for herself. She was in great distress.

“Here is your letter,” she said, laying it on the table. “Can it be true what you
write? You hint at a crime committed, you say, by my brother. You hint at it too
clearly; you daren’t deny it now. I must tell you that I’d heard of this stupid story
before you wrote and don’t believe a word of it. It’s a disgusting and ridiculous
suspicion. I know the story and why and how it was invented. You can have no
proofs. You promised to prove it. Speak! But let me warn you that I don’t believe
you! I don’t believe you!”

Dounia said this, speaking hurriedly, and for an instant the colour rushed to
her face.

“If you didn’t believe it, how could you risk coming alone to my rooms? Why
have you come? Simply from curiosity?”

“Don’t torment me. Speak, speak!”

“There’s no denying that you are a brave girl. Upon my word, I thought you
would have asked Mr. Razumihin to escort you here. But he was not with you nor
anywhere near. I was on the look-out. It’s spirited of you, it proves you wanted to
spare Rodion Romanovitch. But everything is divine in you. . . . About your
brother, what am I to say to you? You’ve just seen him yourself. What did you
think of him?”
“Surely that’s not the only thing you are building on?”

“No, not on that, but on his own words. He came here on two successive
evenings to see Sofya Semyonovna. I’ve shown you where they sat. He made a full
confession to her. He is a murderer. He killed an old woman, a pawnbroker, with
whom he had pawned things himself. He killed her sister too, a pedlar woman
called Lizaveta, who happened to come in while he was murdering her sister. He
killed them with an axe he brought with him. He murdered them to rob them and
he did rob them. He took money and various things. . . . He told all this, word for
word, to Sofya Semyonovna, the only person who knows his secret. But she has
had no share by word or deed in the murder; she was as horrified at it as you are
now. Don’t be anxious, she won’t betray him.”
“It cannot be,” muttered Dounia, with white lips. She gasped for breath. “It
cannot be. There was not the slightest cause, no sort of ground. . . . It’s a lie, a lie!”

“He robbed her, that was the cause, he took money and things. It’s true that
by his own admission he made no use of the money or things, but hid them under
a stone, where they are now. But that was because he dared not make use of
them.”

“But how could he steal, rob? How could he dream of it?” cried Dounia, and
she jumped up from the chair. “Why, you know him, and you’ve seen him, can he
be a thief?”

She seemed to be imploring Svidrigaïlov; she had entirely forgotten her fear.

“There are thousands and millions of combinations and possibilities, Avdotya

Romanovna. A thief steals and knows he is a scoundrel, but I’ve heard of a
gentleman who broke open the mail. Who knows, very likely he thought he was
doing a gentlemanly thing! Of course I should not have believed it myself if I’d
been told of it as you have, but I believe my own ears. He explained all the causes
of it to Sofya Semyonovna too, but she did not believe her ears at first, yet she
believed her own eyes at last.”

“What . . . were the causes?”

“It’s a long story, Avdotya Romanovna. Here’s . . . how shall I tell you? — A
theory of a sort, the same one by which I for instance consider that a single
misdeed is permissible if the principal aim is right, a solitary wrongdoing and
hundreds of good deeds! It’s galling too, of course, for a young man of gifts and
overweening pride to know that if he had, for instance, a paltry three thousand, his
whole career, his whole future would be differently shaped and yet not to have that
three thousand. Add to that, nervous irritability from hunger, from lodging in a
hole, from rags, from a vivid sense of the charm of his social position and his
sister’s and mother’s position too. Above all, vanity, pride and vanity, though
goodness knows he may have good qualities too. . . . I am not blaming him, please
don’t think it; besides, it’s not my business. A special little theory came in too — a
theory of a sort — dividing mankind, you see, into material and superior persons,
that is persons to whom the law does not apply owing to their superiority, who
make laws for the rest of mankind, the material, that is. It’s all right as a theory,
une théorie comme une autre. Napoleon attracted him tremendously, that is, what
affected him was that a great many men of genius have not hesitated at
wrongdoing, but have overstepped the law without thinking about it. He seems to
have fancied that he was a genius too — that is, he was convinced of it for a time.
He has suffered a great deal and is still suffering from the idea that he could make
a theory, but was incapable of boldly overstepping the law, and so he is not a man
of genius. And that’s humiliating for a young man of any pride, in our day
especially . . . .”
“But remorse? You deny him any moral feeling then? Is he like that?”

“Ah, Avdotya Romanovna, everything is in a muddle now; not that it was ever
in very good order. Russians in general are broad in their ideas, Avdotya
Romanovna, broad like their land and exceedingly disposed to the fantastic, the
chaotic. But it’s a misfortune to be broad without a special genius. Do you
remember what a lot of talk we had together on this subject, sitting in the evenings
on the terrace after supper? Why, you used to reproach me with breadth! Who
knows, perhaps we were talking at the very time when he was lying here thinking
over his plan. There are no sacred traditions amongst us, especially in the
educated class, Avdotya Romanovna. At the best someone will make them up
somehow for himself out of books or from some old chronicle. But those are for
the most part the learned and all old fogeys, so that it would be almost ill-bred in a
man of society. You know my opinions in general, though. I never blame anyone. I
do nothing at all, I persevere in that. But we’ve talked of this more than once
before. I was so happy indeed as to interest you in my opinions. . . . You are very
pale, Avdotya Romanovna.”
“I know his theory. I read that article of his about men to whom all is
permitted. Razumihin brought it to me.”

“Mr. Razumihin? Your brother’s article? In a magazine? Is there such an

article? I didn’t know. It must be interesting. But where are you going, Avdotya
Romanovna?”

“I want to see Sofya Semyonovna,” Dounia articulated faintly. “How do I go to

her? She has come in, perhaps. I must see her at once. Perhaps she …”
Avdotya Romanovna could not finish. Her breath literally failed her.

“Sofya Semyonovna will not be back till night, at least I believe not. She was
to have been back at once, but if not, then she will not be in till quite late.”

“Ah, then you are lying! I see . . . you were lying . . . lying all the time. . . . I
don’t believe you! I don’t believe you!” cried Dounia, completely losing her head.

Almost fainting, she sank on to a chair which Svidrigaïlov made haste to give
her.
“Avdotya Romanovna, what is it? Control yourself! Here is some water. Drink
a little . . . .”

He sprinkled some water over her. Dounia shuddered and came to herself.

“It has acted violently,” Svidrigaïlov muttered to himself, frowning. “Avdotya

Romanovna, calm yourself! Believe me, he has friends. We will save him. Would
you like me to take him abroad? I have money, I can get a ticket in three days. And
as for the murder, he will do all sorts of good deeds yet, to atone for it. Calm
yourself. He may become a great man yet. Well, how are you? How do you feel?”
“Cruel man! To be able to jeer at it! Let me go …”

“Where are you going?”

“To him. Where is he? Do you know? Why is this door locked? We came in at
that door and now it is locked. When did you manage to lock it?”

“We couldn’t be shouting all over the flat on such a subject. I am far from
jeering; it’s simply that I’m sick of talking like this. But how can you go in such a
state? Do you want to betray him? You will drive him to fury, and he will give
himself up. Let me tell you, he is already being watched; they are already on his
track. You will simply be giving him away. Wait a little: I saw him and was talking
to him just now. He can still be saved. Wait a bit, sit down; let us think it over
together. I asked you to come in order to discuss it alone with you and to consider
it thoroughly. But do sit down!”
“How can you save him? Can he really be saved?”

Dounia sat down. Svidrigaïlov sat down beside her.

“It all depends on you, on you, on you alone,” he begin with glowing eyes,
almost in a whisper and hardly able to utter the words for emotion.

Dounia drew back from him in alarm. He too was trembling all over.

“You . . . one word from you, and he is saved. I . . . I’ll save him. I have money
and friends. I’ll send him away at once. I’ll get a passport, two passports, one for
him and one for me. I have friends . . . capable people. . . . If you like, I’ll take a
passport for you . . . for your mother. . . . What do you want with Razumihin? I
love you too. . . . I love you beyond everything. . . . Let me kiss the hem of your
dress, let me, let me. . . . The very rustle of it is too much for me. Tell me, ‘do that,’
and I’ll do it. I’ll do everything. I will do the impossible. What you believe, I will
believe. I’ll do anything — anything! Don’t, don’t look at me like that. Do you know
that you are killing me? …”

He was almost beginning to rave. . . . Something seemed suddenly to go to his

head. Dounia jumped up and rushed to the door.

“Open it! Open it!” she called, shaking the door. “Open it! Is there no one
there?”
Svidrigaïlov got up and came to himself. His still trembling lips slowly broke
into an angry mocking smile.

“There is no one at home,” he said quietly and emphatically. “The landlady

has gone out, and it’s waste of time to shout like that. You are only exciting
yourself uselessly.”

“Where is the key? Open the door at once, at once, base man!”

“I have lost the key and cannot find it.”

“This is an outrage,” cried Dounia, turning pale as death. She rushed to the
furthest corner, where she made haste to barricade herself with a little table.
 She did not scream, but she fixed her eyes on her tormentor and watched
every movement he made.
Svidrigaïlov remained standing at the other end of the room facing her. He
was positively composed, at least in appearance, but his face was pale as before.
The mocking smile did not leave his face.

“You spoke of outrage just now, Avdotya Romanovna. In that case you may be
sure I’ve taken measures. Sofya Semyonovna is not at home. The Kapernaumovs
are far away — there are five locked rooms between. I am at least twice as strong
as you are and I have nothing to fear, besides. For you could not complain
afterwards. You surely would not be willing actually to betray your brother?
Besides, no one would believe you. How should a girl have come alone to visit a
solitary man in his lodgings? So that even if you do sacrifice your brother, you
could prove nothing. It is very difficult to prove an assault, Avdotya Romanovna.”

“Scoundrel!” whispered Dounia indignantly.

“As you like, but observe I was only speaking by way of a general proposition.
It’s my personal conviction that you are perfectly right — violence is hateful. I only
spoke to show you that you need have no remorse even if . . . you were willing to
save your brother of your own accord, as I suggest to you. You would be simply
submitting to circumstances, to violence, in fact, if we must use that word. Think
about it. Your brother’s and your mother’s fate are in your hands. I will be your
slave . . . all my life . . . I will wait here.”

Svidrigaïlov sat down on the sofa about eight steps from Dounia. She had not
the slightest doubt now of his unbending determination. Besides, she knew him.
Suddenly she pulled out of her pocket a revolver, cocked it and laid it in her hand
on the table. Svidrigaïlov jumped up.

“Aha! So that’s it, is it?” he cried, surprised but smiling maliciously. “Well,
that completely alters the aspect of affairs. You’ve made things wonderfully easier
for me, Avdotya Romanovna. But where did you get the revolver? Was it Mr.
Razumihin? Why, it’s my revolver, an old friend! And how I’ve hunted for it! The
shooting lessons I’ve given you in the country have not been thrown away.”

“It’s not your revolver, it belonged to Marfa Petrovna, whom you killed,
wretch! There was nothing of yours in her house. I took it when I began to suspect
what you were capable of. If you dare to advance one step, I swear I’ll kill you.”
She was frantic.

“But your brother? I ask from curiosity,” said Svidrigaïlov, still standing
where he was.

“Inform, if you want to! Don’t stir! Don’t come nearer! I’ll shoot! You
poisoned your wife, I know; you are a murderer yourself!” She held the revolver
ready.
“Are you so positive I poisoned Marfa Petrovna?”

“You did! You hinted it yourself; you talked to me of poison. . . . I know you
went to get it . . . you had it in readiness. . . . It was your doing. . . . It must have
been your doing. . . . Scoundrel!”

“Even if that were true, it would have been for your sake . . . you would have
been the cause.”

“You are lying! I hated you always, always . . . .”

“Oho, Avdotya Romanovna! You seem to have forgotten how you softened to
me in the heat of propaganda. I saw it in your eyes. Do you remember that
moonlight night, when the nightingale was singing?”
“That’s a lie,” there was a flash of fury in Dounia’s eyes, “that’s a lie and a
libel!”

“A lie? Well, if you like, it’s a lie. I made it up. Women ought not to be
reminded of such things,” he smiled. “I know you will shoot, you pretty wild
creature. Well, shoot away!”

Dounia raised the revolver, and deadly pale, gazed at him, measuring the
distance and awaiting the first movement on his part. Her lower lip was white and
quivering and her big black eyes flashed like fire. He had never seen her so
handsome. The fire glowing in her eyes at the moment she raised the revolver
seemed to kindle him and there was a pang of anguish in his heart. He took a step
forward and a shot rang out. The bullet grazed his hair and flew into the wall
behind. He stood still and laughed softly.
“The wasp has stung me. She aimed straight at my head. What’s this? Blood?”
he pulled out his handkerchief to wipe the blood, which flowed in a thin stream
down his right temple. The bullet seemed to have just grazed the skin.
 Dounia lowered the revolver and looked at Svidrigaïlov not so much in terror
as in a sort of wild amazement. She seemed not to understand what she was doing
and what was going on.

“Well, you missed! Fire again, I’ll wait,” said Svidrigaïlov softly, still smiling,
but gloomily. “If you go on like that, I shall have time to seize you before you cock
again.”

Dounia started, quickly cocked the pistol and again raised it.

“Let me be,” she cried in despair. “I swear I’ll shoot again. I . . . I’ll kill you.”

“Well . . . at three paces you can hardly help it. But if you don’t . . . then.” His
eyes flashed and he took two steps forward. Dounia shot again: it missed fire.

“You haven’t loaded it properly. Never mind, you have another charge there.
Get it ready, I’ll wait.”

He stood facing her, two paces away, waiting and gazing at her with wild
determination, with feverishly passionate, stubborn, set eyes. Dounia saw that he
would sooner die than let her go. “And . . . now, of course she would kill him, at
two paces!” Suddenly she flung away the revolver.

“She’s dropped it!” said Svidrigaïlov with surprise, and he drew a deep breath.
A weight seemed to have rolled from his heart — perhaps not only the fear of
death; indeed he may scarcely have felt it at that moment. It was the deliverance
from another feeling, darker and more bitter, which he could not himself have
defined.

He went to Dounia and gently put his arm round her waist. She did not resist,
but, trembling like a leaf, looked at him with suppliant eyes. He tried to say
something, but his lips moved without being able to utter a sound.

“Let me go,” Dounia implored. Svidrigaïlov shuddered. Her voice now was
quite different.

“Then you don’t love me?” he asked softly. Dounia shook her head.
“And . . . and you can’t? Never?” he whispered in despair.

“Never!”

There followed a moment of terrible, dumb struggle in the heart of

Svidrigaïlov. He looked at her with an indescribable gaze. Suddenly he withdrew
his arm, turned quickly to the window and stood facing it. Another moment
passed.

“Here’s the key.”

He took it out of the left pocket of his coat and laid it on the table behind him,
without turning or looking at Dounia.

“Take it! Make haste!”

He looked stubbornly out of the window. Dounia went up to the table to take
the key.

“Make haste! Make haste!” repeated Svidrigaïlov, still without turning or

moving. But there seemed a terrible significance in the tone of that “make haste.”

Dounia understood it, snatched up the key, flew to the door, unlocked it
quickly and rushed out of the room. A minute later, beside herself, she ran out on
to the canal bank in the direction of X. Bridge.
Svidrigaïlov remained three minutes standing at the window. At last he slowly
turned, looked about him and passed his hand over his forehead. A strange smile
contorted his face, a pitiful, sad, weak smile, a smile of despair. The blood, which
was already getting dry, smeared his hand. He looked angrily at it, then wetted a
towel and washed his temple. The revolver which Dounia had flung away lay near
the door and suddenly caught his eye. He picked it up and examined it. It was a
little pocket three-barrel revolver of old-fashioned construction. There were still
two charges and one capsule left in it. It could be fired again. He thought a little,
put the revolver in his pocket, took his hat and went out.
 CHAPTER VI

He spent that evening till ten o’clock going from one low haunt to another. Katia
too turned up and sang another gutter song, how a certain “villain and tyrant”
“began kissing Katia.”

Svidrigaïlov treated Katia and the organ-grinder and some singers and the waiters
and two little clerks. He was particularly drawn to these clerks by the fact that they
both had crooked noses, one bent to the left and the other to the right. They took
him finally to a pleasure garden, where he paid for their entrance. There was one
lanky three-year-old pine-tree and three bushes in the garden, besides a
“Vauxhall,” which was in reality a drinking-bar where tea too was served, and
there were a few green tables and chairs standing round it. A chorus of wretched
singers and a drunken but exceedingly depressed German clown from Munich
with a red nose entertained the public. The clerks quarrelled with some other
clerks and a fight seemed imminent. Svidrigaïlov was chosen to decide the
dispute. He listened to them for a quarter of an hour, but they shouted so loud
that there was no possibility of understanding them. The only fact that seemed
certain was that one of them had stolen something and had even succeeded in
selling it on the spot to a Jew, but would not share the spoil with his companion.
Finally it appeared that the stolen object was a teaspoon belonging to the
Vauxhall. It was missed and the affair began to seem troublesome. Svidrigaïlov
paid for the spoon, got up, and walked out of the garden. It was about six o’clock.
He had not drunk a drop of wine all this time and had ordered tea more for the
sake of appearances than anything.
It was a dark and stifling evening. Threatening storm-clouds came over the
sky about ten o’clock. There was a clap of thunder, and the rain came down like a
waterfall. The water fell not in drops, but beat on the earth in streams. There were
flashes of lightning every minute and each flash lasted while one could count five.
Drenched to the skin, he went home, locked himself in, opened the bureau,
took out all his money and tore up two or three papers. Then, putting the money
in his pocket, he was about to change his clothes, but, looking out of the window
and listening to the thunder and the rain, he gave up the idea, took up his hat and
went out of the room without locking the door. He went straight to Sonia. She was
at home.
 She was not alone: the four Kapernaumov children were with her. She was
giving them tea. She received Svidrigaïlov in respectful silence, looking
wonderingly at his soaking clothes. The children all ran away at once in
indescribable terror.
Svidrigaïlov sat down at the table and asked Sonia to sit beside him. She
timidly prepared to listen.

“I may be going to America, Sofya Semyonovna,” said Svidrigaïlov, “and as I

am probably seeing you for the last time, I have come to make some
arrangements. Well, did you see the lady to-day? I know what she said to you, you
need not tell me.” (Sonia made a movement and blushed.) “Those people have
their own way of doing things. As to your sisters and your brother, they are really
provided for and the money assigned to them I’ve put into safe keeping and have
received acknowledgments. You had better take charge of the receipts, in case
anything happens. Here, take them! Well now, that’s settled. Here are three 5-per-
cent bonds to the value of three thousand roubles. Take those for yourself, entirely
for yourself, and let that be strictly between ourselves, so that no one knows of it,
whatever you hear. You will need the money, for to go on living in the old way,
Sofya Semyonovna, is bad, and besides there is no need for it now.”

“I am so much indebted to you, and so are the children and my stepmother,”

said Sonia hurriedly, “and if I’ve said so little . . . please don’t consider …”
“That’s enough! that’s enough!”

“But as for the money, Arkady Ivanovitch, I am very grateful to you, but I
don’t need it now. I can always earn my own living. Don’t think me ungrateful. If
you are so charitable, that money . . . .”

“It’s for you, for you, Sofya Semyonovna, and please don’t waste words over it.
I haven’t time for it. You will want it. Rodion Romanovitch has two alternatives: a
bullet in the brain or Siberia.” (Sonia looked wildly at him, and started.) “Don’t be
uneasy, I know all about it from himself and I am not a gossip; I won’t tell anyone.
It was good advice when you told him to give himself up and confess. It would be
much better for him. Well, if it turns out to be Siberia, he will go and you will
follow him. That’s so, isn’t it? And if so, you’ll need money. You’ll need it for him,
do you understand? Giving it to you is the same as my giving it to him. Besides,
you promised Amalia Ivanovna to pay what’s owing. I heard you. How can you
undertake such obligations so heedlessly, Sofya Semyonovna? It was Katerina
Ivanovna’s debt and not yours, so you ought not to have taken any notice of the
German woman. You can’t get through the world like that. If you are ever
questioned about me — to-morrow or the day after you will be asked — don’t say
anything about my coming to see you now and don’t show the money to anyone or
say a word about it. Well, now good-bye.” (He got up.) “My greetings to Rodion
Romanovitch. By the way, you’d better put the money for the present in Mr.
Razumihin’s keeping. You know Mr. Razumihin? Of course you do. He’s not a bad
fellow. Take it to him to-morrow or . . . when the time comes. And till then, hide it
carefully.”

Sonia too jumped up from her chair and looked in dismay at Svidrigaïlov. She
longed to speak, to ask a question, but for the first moments she did not dare and
did not know how to begin.

“How can you . . . how can you be going now, in such rain?”

“Why, be starting for America, and be stopped by rain! Ha, ha! Good-bye,
Sofya Semyonovna, my dear! Live and live long, you will be of use to others. By the
way . . . tell Mr. Razumihin I send my greetings to him. Tell him Arkady
Ivanovitch Svidrigaïlov sends his greetings. Be sure to.”

He went out, leaving Sonia in a state of wondering anxiety and vague

apprehension.
It appeared afterwards that on the same evening, at twenty past eleven, he
made another very eccentric and unexpected visit. The rain still persisted.
Drenched to the skin, he walked into the little flat where the parents of his
betrothed lived, in Third Street in Vassilyevsky Island. He knocked some time
before he was admitted, and his visit at first caused great perturbation; but
Svidrigaïlov could be very fascinating when he liked, so that the first, and indeed
very intelligent surmise of the sensible parents that Svidrigaïlov had probably had
so much to drink that he did not know what he was doing vanished immediately.
The decrepit father was wheeled in to see Svidrigaïlov by the tender and sensible
mother, who as usual began the conversation with various irrelevant questions.
She never asked a direct question, but began by smiling and rubbing her hands
and then, if she were obliged to ascertain something — for instance, when
Svidrigaïlov would like to have the wedding — she would begin by interested and
almost eager questions about Paris and the court life there, and only by degrees
brought the conversation round to Third Street. On other occasions this had of
course been very impressive, but this time Arkady Ivanovitch seemed particularly
impatient, and insisted on seeing his betrothed at once, though he had been
informed, to begin with, that she had already gone to bed. The girl of course
appeared.
Svidrigaïlov informed her at once that he was obliged by very important
affairs to leave Petersburg for a time, and therefore brought her fifteen thousand
roubles and begged her accept them as a present from him, as he had long been
intending to make her this trifling present before their wedding. The logical
connection of the present with his immediate departure and the absolute necessity
of visiting them for that purpose in pouring rain at midnight was not made clear.
But it all went off very well; even the inevitable ejaculations of wonder and regret,
the inevitable questions were extraordinarily few and restrained. On the other
hand, the gratitude expressed was most glowing and was reinforced by tears from
the most sensible of mothers. Svidrigaïlov got up, laughed, kissed his betrothed,
patted her cheek, declared he would soon come back, and noticing in her eyes,
together with childish curiosity, a sort of earnest dumb inquiry, reflected and
kissed her again, though he felt sincere anger inwardly at the thought that his
present would be immediately locked up in the keeping of the most sensible of
mothers. He went away, leaving them all in a state of extraordinary excitement,
but the tender mamma, speaking quietly in a half whisper, settled some of the
most important of their doubts, concluding that Svidrigaïlov was a great man, a
man of great affairs and connections and of great wealth — there was no knowing
what he had in his mind. He would start off on a journey and give away money just
as the fancy took him, so that there was nothing surprising about it. Of course it
was strange that he was wet through, but Englishmen, for instance, are even more
eccentric, and all these people of high society didn’t think of what was said of them
and didn’t stand on ceremony. Possibly, indeed, he came like that on purpose to
show that he was not afraid of anyone. Above all, not a word should be said about
it, for God knows what might come of it, and the money must be locked up, and it
was most fortunate that Fedosya, the cook, had not left the kitchen. And above all
not a word must be said to that old cat, Madame Resslich, and so on and so on.
They sat up whispering till two o’clock, but the girl went to bed much earlier,
amazed and rather sorrowful.
Svidrigaïlov meanwhile, exactly at midnight, crossed the bridge on the way
back to the mainland. The rain had ceased and there was a roaring wind. He began
shivering, and for one moment he gazed at the black waters of the Little Neva with
a look of special interest, even inquiry. But he soon felt it very cold, standing by
the water; he turned and went towards Y. Prospect. He walked along that endless
street for a long time, almost half an hour, more than once stumbling in the dark
on the wooden pavement, but continually looking for something on the right side
of the street. He had noticed passing through this street lately that there was a
hotel somewhere towards the end, built of wood, but fairly large, and its name he
remembered was something like Adrianople. He was not mistaken: the hotel was
so conspicuous in that God-forsaken place that he could not fail to see it even in
the dark. It was a long, blackened wooden building, and in spite of the late hour
there were lights in the windows and signs of life within. He went in and asked a
ragged fellow who met him in the corridor for a room. The latter, scanning
Svidrigaïlov, pulled himself together and led him at once to a close and tiny room
in the distance, at the end of the corridor, under the stairs. There was no other, all
were occupied. The ragged fellow looked inquiringly.
“Is there tea?” asked Svidrigaïlov.
“Yes, sir.”

“What else is there?”

“Veal, vodka, savouries.”
“Bring me tea and veal.”

“And you want nothing else?” he asked with apparent surprise.

“Nothing, nothing.”

The ragged man went away, completely disillusioned.

“It must be a nice place,” thought Svidrigaïlov. “How was it I didn’t know it? I
expect I look as if I came from a café chantant and have had some adventure on
the way. It would be interesting to know who stay here?”
He lighted the candle and looked at the room more carefully. It was a room so
low-pitched that Svidrigaïlov could only just stand up in it; it had one window; the
bed, which was very dirty, and the plain-stained chair and table almost filled it up.
The walls looked as though they were made of planks, covered with shabby paper,
so torn and dusty that the pattern was indistinguishable, though the general
colour — yellow — could still be made out. One of the walls was cut short by the
sloping ceiling, though the room was not an attic but just under the stairs.

Svidrigaïlov set down the candle, sat down on the bed and sank into thought.
But a strange persistent murmur which sometimes rose to a shout in the next
room attracted his attention. The murmur had not ceased from the moment he
entered the room. He listened: someone was upbraiding and almost tearfully
scolding, but he heard only one voice.
Svidrigaïlov got up, shaded the light with his hand and at once he saw light
through a crack in the wall; he went up and peeped through. The room, which was
somewhat larger than his, had two occupants. One of them, a very curly-headed
man with a red inflamed face, was standing in the pose of an orator, without his
coat, with his legs wide apart to preserve his balance, and smiting himself on the
breast. He reproached the other with being a beggar, with having no standing
whatever. He declared that he had taken the other out of the gutter and he could
turn him out when he liked, and that only the finger of Providence sees it all. The
object of his reproaches was sitting in a chair, and had the air of a man who wants
dreadfully to sneeze, but can’t. He sometimes turned sheepish and befogged eyes
on the speaker, but obviously had not the slightest idea what he was talking about
and scarcely heard it. A candle was burning down on the table; there were wine-
glasses, a nearly empty bottle of vodka, bread and cucumber, and glasses with the
dregs of stale tea. After gazing attentively at this, Svidrigaïlov turned away
indifferently and sat down on the bed.
The ragged attendant, returning with the tea, could not resist asking him
again whether he didn’t want anything more, and again receiving a negative reply,
finally withdrew. Svidrigaïlov made haste to drink a glass of tea to warm himself,
but could not eat anything. He began to feel feverish. He took off his coat and,
wrapping himself in the blanket, lay down on the bed. He was annoyed. “It would
have been better to be well for the occasion,” he thought with a smile. The room
was close, the candle burnt dimly, the wind was roaring outside, he heard a mouse
scratching in the corner and the room smelt of mice and of leather. He lay in a sort
of reverie: one thought followed another. He felt a longing to fix his imagination
on something. “It must be a garden under the window,” he thought. “There’s a
sound of trees. How I dislike the sound of trees on a stormy night, in the dark!
They give one a horrid feeling.” He remembered how he had disliked it when he
passed Petrovsky Park just now. This reminded him of the bridge over the Little
Neva and he felt cold again as he had when standing there. “I never have liked
water,” he thought, “even in a landscape,” and he suddenly smiled again at a
strange idea: “Surely now all these questions of taste and comfort ought not to
matter, but I’ve become more particular, like an animal that picks out a special
place . . . for such an occasion. I ought to have gone into the Petrovsky Park! I
suppose it seemed dark, cold, ha-ha! As though I were seeking pleasant
sensations! . . . By the way, why haven’t I put out the candle?” he blew it out.
“They’ve gone to bed next door,” he thought, not seeing the light at the crack.
“Well, now, Marfa Petrovna, now is the time for you to turn up; it’s dark, and the
very time and place for you. But now you won’t come!”

He suddenly recalled how, an hour before carrying out his design on Dounia,
he had recommended Raskolnikov to trust her to Razumihin’s keeping. “I suppose
I really did say it, as Raskolnikov guessed, to tease myself. But what a rogue that
Raskolnikov is! He’s gone through a good deal. He may be a successful rogue in
time when he’s got over his nonsense. But now he’s too eager for life. These young
men are contemptible on that point. But, hang the fellow! Let him please himself,
it’s nothing to do with me.”

He could not get to sleep. By degrees Dounia’s image rose before him, and a
shudder ran over him. “No, I must give up all that now,” he thought, rousing
himself. “I must think of something else. It’s queer and funny. I never had a great
hatred for anyone, I never particularly desired to avenge myself even, and that’s a
bad sign, a bad sign, a bad sign. I never liked quarrelling either, and never lost my
temper — that’s a bad sign too. And the promises I made her just now, too —
Damnation! But — who knows? — perhaps she would have made a new man of me
somehow . . . .”

He ground his teeth and sank into silence again. Again Dounia’s image rose
before him, just as she was when, after shooting the first time, she had lowered the
revolver in terror and gazed blankly at him, so that he might have seized her twice
over and she would not have lifted a hand to defend herself if he had not reminded
her. He recalled how at that instant he felt almost sorry for her, how he had felt a
pang at his heart …

“Aïe! Damnation, these thoughts again! I must put it away!”

He was dozing off; the feverish shiver had ceased, when suddenly something
seemed to run over his arm and leg under the bedclothes. He started. “Ugh! hang
it! I believe it’s a mouse,” he thought, “that’s the veal I left on the table.” He felt
fearfully disinclined to pull off the blanket, get up, get cold, but all at once
something unpleasant ran over his leg again. He pulled off the blanket and lighted
the candle. Shaking with feverish chill he bent down to examine the bed: there was
nothing. He shook the blanket and suddenly a mouse jumped out on the sheet. He
tried to catch it, but the mouse ran to and fro in zigzags without leaving the bed,
slipped between his fingers, ran over his hand and suddenly darted under the
pillow. He threw down the pillow, but in one instant felt something leap on his
chest and dart over his body and down his back under his shirt. He trembled
nervously and woke up.
The room was dark. He was lying on the bed and wrapped up in the blanket
as before. The wind was howling under the window. “How disgusting,” he thought
with annoyance.

He got up and sat on the edge of the bedstead with his back to the window.
“It’s better not to sleep at all,” he decided. There was a cold damp draught from
the window, however; without getting up he drew the blanket over him and
wrapped himself in it. He was not thinking of anything and did not want to think.
But one image rose after another, incoherent scraps of thought without beginning
or end passed through his mind. He sank into drowsiness. Perhaps the cold, or the
dampness, or the dark, or the wind that howled under the window and tossed the
trees roused a sort of persistent craving for the fantastic. He kept dwelling on
images of flowers, he fancied a charming flower garden, a bright, warm, almost
hot day, a holiday — Trinity day. A fine, sumptuous country cottage in the English
taste overgrown with fragrant flowers, with flower beds going round the house;
the porch, wreathed in climbers, was surrounded with beds of roses. A light, cool
staircase, carpeted with rich rugs, was decorated with rare plants in china pots. He
noticed particularly in the windows nosegays of tender, white, heavily fragrant
narcissus bending over their bright, green, thick long stalks. He was reluctant to
move away from them, but he went up the stairs and came into a large, high
drawing-room and again everywhere — at the windows, the doors on to the
balcony, and on the balcony itself — were flowers. The floors were strewn with
freshly-cut fragrant hay, the windows were open, a fresh, cool, light air came into
the room. The birds were chirruping under the window, and in the middle of the
room, on a table covered with a white satin shroud, stood a coffin. The coffin was
covered with white silk and edged with a thick white frill; wreaths of flowers
surrounded it on all sides. Among the flowers lay a girl in a white muslin dress,
with her arms crossed and pressed on her bosom, as though carved out of marble.
But her loose fair hair was wet; there was a wreath of roses on her head. The stern
and already rigid profile of her face looked as though chiselled of marble too, and
the smile on her pale lips was full of an immense unchildish misery and sorrowful
appeal. Svidrigaïlov knew that girl; there was no holy image, no burning candle
beside the coffin; no sound of prayers: the girl had drowned herself. She was only
fourteen, but her heart was broken. And she had destroyed herself, crushed by an
insult that had appalled and amazed that childish soul, had smirched that angel
purity with unmerited disgrace and torn from her a last scream of despair,
unheeded and brutally disregarded, on a dark night in the cold and wet while the
wind howled . . . .

Svidrigaïlov came to himself, got up from the bed and went to the window. He
felt for the latch and opened it. The wind lashed furiously into the little room and
stung his face and his chest, only covered with his shirt, as though with frost.
Under the window there must have been something like a garden, and apparently
a pleasure garden. There, too, probably there were tea-tables and singing in the
daytime. Now drops of rain flew in at the window from the trees and bushes; it
was dark as in a cellar, so that he could only just make out some dark blurs of
objects. Svidrigaïlov, bending down with elbows on the window-sill, gazed for five
minutes into the darkness; the boom of a cannon, followed by a second one,
resounded in the darkness of the night. “Ah, the signal! The river is overflowing,”
he thought. “By morning it will be swirling down the street in the lower parts,
flooding the basements and cellars. The cellar rats will swim out, and men will
curse in the rain and wind as they drag their rubbish to their upper storeys. What
time is it now?” And he had hardly thought it when, somewhere near, a clock on
the wall, ticking away hurriedly, struck three.

“Aha! It will be light in an hour! Why wait? I’ll go out at once straight to the
park. I’ll choose a great bush there drenched with rain, so that as soon as one’s
shoulder touches it, millions of drops drip on one’s head.”

He moved away from the window, shut it, lighted the candle, put on his
waistcoat, his overcoat and his hat and went out, carrying the candle, into the
passage to look for the ragged attendant who would be asleep somewhere in the
midst of candle-ends and all sorts of rubbish, to pay him for the room and leave
the hotel. “It’s the best minute; I couldn’t choose a better.”

He walked for some time through a long narrow corridor without finding
anyone and was just going to call out, when suddenly in a dark corner between an
old cupboard and the door he caught sight of a strange object which seemed to be
alive. He bent down with the candle and saw a little girl, not more than five years
old, shivering and crying, with her clothes as wet as a soaking house-flannel. She
did not seem afraid of Svidrigaïlov, but looked at him with blank amazement out
of her big black eyes. Now and then she sobbed as children do when they have
been crying a long time, but are beginning to be comforted. The child’s face was
pale and tired, she was numb with cold. “How can she have come here? She must
have hidden here and not slept all night.” He began questioning her. The child
suddenly becoming animated, chattered away in her baby language, something
about “mammy” and that “mammy would beat her,” and about some cup that she
had “bwoken.” The child chattered on without stopping. He could only guess from
what she said that she was a neglected child, whose mother, probably a drunken
cook, in the service of the hotel, whipped and frightened her; that the child had
broken a cup of her mother’s and was so frightened that she had run away the
evening before, had hidden for a long while somewhere outside in the rain, at last
had made her way in here, hidden behind the cupboard and spent the night there,
crying and trembling from the damp, the darkness and the fear that she would be
badly beaten for it. He took her in his arms, went back to his room, sat her on the
bed, and began undressing her. The torn shoes which she had on her stockingless
feet were as wet as if they had been standing in a puddle all night. When he had
undressed her, he put her on the bed, covered her up and wrapped her in the
blanket from her head downwards. She fell asleep at once. Then he sank into
dreary musing again.

“What folly to trouble myself,” he decided suddenly with an oppressive feeling

of annoyance. “What idiocy!” In vexation he took up the candle to go and look for
the ragged attendant again and make haste to go away. “Damn the child!” he
thought as he opened the door, but he turned again to see whether the child was
asleep. He raised the blanket carefully. The child was sleeping soundly, she had
got warm under the blanket, and her pale cheeks were flushed. But strange to say
that flush seemed brighter and coarser than the rosy cheeks of childhood. “It’s a
flush of fever,” thought Svidrigaïlov. It was like the flush from drinking, as though
she had been given a full glass to drink. Her crimson lips were hot and glowing;
but what was this? He suddenly fancied that her long black eyelashes were
quivering, as though the lids were opening and a sly crafty eye peeped out with an
unchildlike wink, as though the little girl were not asleep, but pretending. Yes, it
was so. Her lips parted in a smile. The corners of her mouth quivered, as though
she were trying to control them. But now she quite gave up all effort, now it was a
grin, a broad grin; there was something shameless, provocative in that quite
unchildish face; it was depravity, it was the face of a harlot, the shameless face of a
French harlot. Now both eyes opened wide; they turned a glowing, shameless
glance upon him; they laughed, invited him. . . . There was something infinitely
hideous and shocking in that laugh, in those eyes, in such nastiness in the face of a
child. “What, at five years old?” Svidrigaïlov muttered in genuine horror. “What
does it mean?” And now she turned to him, her little face all aglow, holding out
her arms . . . . “Accursed child!” Svidrigaïlov cried, raising his hand to strike her,
but at that moment he woke up.
He was in the same bed, still wrapped in the blanket. The candle had not been
lighted, and daylight was streaming in at the windows.

“I’ve had nightmare all night!” He got up angrily, feeling utterly shattered; his
bones ached. There was a thick mist outside and he could see nothing. It was
nearly five. He had overslept himself! He got up, put on his still damp jacket and
overcoat. Feeling the revolver in his pocket, he took it out and then he sat down,
took a notebook out of his pocket and in the most conspicuous place on the title
page wrote a few lines in large letters. Reading them over, he sank into thought
with his elbows on the table. The revolver and the notebook lay beside him. Some
flies woke up and settled on the untouched veal, which was still on the table. He
stared at them and at last with his free right hand began trying to catch one. He
tried till he was tired, but could not catch it. At last, realising that he was engaged
in this interesting pursuit, he started, got up and walked resolutely out of the
room. A minute later he was in the street.

A thick milky mist hung over the town. Svidrigaïlov walked along the slippery
dirty wooden pavement towards the Little Neva. He was picturing the waters of
the Little Neva swollen in the night, Petrovsky Island, the wet paths, the wet grass,
the wet trees and bushes and at last the bush. . . . He began ill-humouredly staring
at the houses, trying to think of something else. There was not a cabman or a
passer-by in the street. The bright yellow, wooden, little houses looked dirty and
dejected with their closed shutters. The cold and damp penetrated his whole body
and he began to shiver. From time to time he came across shop signs and read
each carefully. At last he reached the end of the wooden pavement and came to a
big stone house. A dirty, shivering dog crossed his path with its tail between its
legs. A man in a greatcoat lay face downwards; dead drunk, across the pavement.
He looked at him and went on. A high tower stood up on the left. “Bah!” he
shouted, “here is a place. Why should it be Petrovsky? It will be in the presence of
an official witness anyway . . . .”

He almost smiled at this new thought and turned into the street where there
was the big house with the tower. At the great closed gates of the house, a little
man stood with his shoulder leaning against them, wrapped in a grey soldier’s
coat, with a copper Achilles helmet on his head. He cast a drowsy and indifferent
glance at Svidrigaïlov. His face wore that perpetual look of peevish dejection,
which is so sourly printed on all faces of Jewish race without exception. They both,
Svidrigaïlov and Achilles, stared at each other for a few minutes without speaking.
At last it struck Achilles as irregular for a man not drunk to be standing three
steps from him, staring and not saying a word.
“What do you want here?” he said, without moving or changing his position.

“Nothing, brother, good morning,” answered Svidrigaïlov.

“This isn’t the place.”

“I am going to foreign parts, brother.”

“To foreign parts?”

“To America.”

“America.”
Svidrigaïlov took out the revolver and cocked it. Achilles raised his eyebrows.

“I say, this is not the place for such jokes!”

“Why shouldn’t it be the place?”

“Because it isn’t.”

“Well, brother, I don’t mind that. It’s a good place. When you are asked, you
just say he was going, he said, to America.”
 He put the revolver to his right temple.

“You can’t do it here, it’s not the place,” cried Achilles, rousing himself, his
eyes growing bigger and bigger.

Svidrigaïlov pulled the trigger.

 CHAPTER VII

The same day, about seven o’clock in the evening, Raskolnikov was on his way to
his mother’s and sister’s lodging — the lodging in Bakaleyev’s house which
Razumihin had found for them. The stairs went up from the street. Raskolnikov
walked with lagging steps, as though still hesitating whether to go or not. But
nothing would have turned him back: his decision was taken.

“Besides, it doesn’t matter, they still know nothing,” he thought, “and they are
used to thinking of me as eccentric.”

He was appallingly dressed: his clothes torn and dirty, soaked with a night’s
rain. His face was almost distorted from fatigue, exposure, the inward conflict that
had lasted for twenty-four hours. He had spent all the previous night alone, God
knows where. But anyway he had reached a decision.

He knocked at the door which was opened by his mother. Dounia was not at
home. Even the servant happened to be out. At first Pulcheria Alexandrovna was
speechless with joy and surprise; then she took him by the hand and drew him
into the room.

“Here you are!” she began, faltering with joy. “Don’t be angry with me, Rodya,
for welcoming you so foolishly with tears: I am laughing not crying. Did you think
I was crying? No, I am delighted, but I’ve got into such a stupid habit of shedding
tears. I’ve been like that ever since your father’s death. I cry for anything. Sit
down, dear boy, you must be tired; I see you are. Ah, how muddy you are.”

“I was in the rain yesterday, mother . . . .” Raskolnikov began.

“No, no,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna hurriedly interrupted, “you thought I was
going to cross-question you in the womanish way I used to; don’t be anxious, I
understand, I understand it all: now I’ve learned the ways here and truly I see for
myself that they are better. I’ve made up my mind once for all: how could I
understand your plans and expect you to give an account of them? God knows
what concerns and plans you may have, or what ideas you are hatching; so it’s not
for me to keep nudging your elbow, asking you what you are thinking about? But,
my goodness! why am I running to and fro as though I were crazy . . .? I am
reading your article in the magazine for the third time, Rodya. Dmitri Prokofitch
brought it to me. Directly I saw it I cried out to myself: ‘There, foolish one,’ I
thought, ‘that’s what he is busy about; that’s the solution of the mystery! Learned
people are always like that. He may have some new ideas in his head just now; he
is thinking them over and I worry him and upset him.’ I read it, my dear, and of
course there was a great deal I did not understand; but that’s only natural — how
should I?”
“Show me, mother.”

Raskolnikov took the magazine and glanced at his article. Incongruous as it

was with his mood and his circumstances, he felt that strange and bitter sweet
sensation that every author experiences the first time he sees himself in print;
besides, he was only twenty-three. It lasted only a moment. After reading a few
lines he frowned and his heart throbbed with anguish. He recalled all the inward
conflict of the preceding months. He flung the article on the table with disgust and
anger.
“But, however foolish I may be, Rodya, I can see for myself that you will very
soon be one of the leading — if not the leading man — in the world of Russian
thought. And they dared to think you were mad! You don’t know, but they really
thought that. Ah, the despicable creatures, how could they understand genius!
And Dounia, Dounia was all but believing it — what do you say to that? Your
father sent twice to magazines — the first time poems (I’ve got the manuscript and
will show you) and the second time a whole novel (I begged him to let me copy it
out) and how we prayed that they should be taken — they weren’t! I was breaking
my heart, Rodya, six or seven days ago over your food and your clothes and the
way you are living. But now I see again how foolish I was, for you can attain any
position you like by your intellect and talent. No doubt you don’t care about that
for the present and you are occupied with much more important matters . . . .”

“Dounia’s not at home, mother?”

“No, Rodya. I often don’t see her; she leaves me alone. Dmitri Prokofitch
comes to see me, it’s so good of him, and he always talks about you. He loves you
and respects you, my dear. I don’t say that Dounia is very wanting in
consideration. I am not complaining. She has her ways and I have mine; she
seems to have got some secrets of late and I never have any secrets from you two.
Of course, I am sure that Dounia has far too much sense, and besides she loves
you and me . . . but I don’t know what it will all lead to. You’ve made me so happy
by coming now, Rodya, but she has missed you by going out; when she comes in
I’ll tell her: ‘Your brother came in while you were out. Where have you been all
this time?’ You mustn’t spoil me, Rodya, you know; come when you can, but if you
can’t, it doesn’t matter, I can wait. I shall know, anyway, that you are fond of me,
that will be enough for me. I shall read what you write, I shall hear about you from
everyone, and sometimes you’ll come yourself to see me. What could be better?
Here you’ve come now to comfort your mother, I see that.”

Here Pulcheria Alexandrovna began to cry.

“Here I am again! Don’t mind my foolishness. My goodness, why am I sitting

here?” she cried, jumping up. “There is coffee and I don’t offer you any. Ah, that’s
the selfishness of old age. I’ll get it at once!”

“Mother, don’t trouble, I am going at once. I haven’t come for that. Please
listen to me.”
Pulcheria Alexandrovna went up to him timidly.

“Mother, whatever happens, whatever you hear about me, whatever you are
told about me, will you always love me as you do now?” he asked suddenly from
the fullness of his heart, as though not thinking of his words and not weighing
them.

“Rodya, Rodya, what is the matter? How can you ask me such a question?
Why, who will tell me anything about you? Besides, I shouldn’t believe anyone, I
should refuse to listen.”

“I’ve come to assure you that I’ve always loved you and I am glad that we are
alone, even glad Dounia is out,” he went on with the same impulse. “I have come
to tell you that though you will be unhappy, you must believe that your son loves
you now more than himself, and that all you thought about me, that I was cruel
and didn’t care about you, was all a mistake. I shall never cease to love you. . . .
Well, that’s enough: I thought I must do this and begin with this . . . .”

Pulcheria Alexandrovna embraced him in silence, pressing him to her bosom

and weeping gently.

“I don’t know what is wrong with you, Rodya,” she said at last. “I’ve been
thinking all this time that we were simply boring you and now I see that there is a
great sorrow in store for you, and that’s why you are miserable. I’ve foreseen it a
long time, Rodya. Forgive me for speaking about it. I keep thinking about it and lie
awake at nights. Your sister lay talking in her sleep all last night, talking of nothing
but you. I caught something, but I couldn’t make it out. I felt all the morning as
though I were going to be hanged, waiting for something, expecting something,
and now it has come! Rodya, Rodya, where are you going? You are going away
somewhere?”
“Yes.”
“That’s what I thought! I can come with you, you know, if you need me. And
Dounia, too; she loves you, she loves you dearly — and Sofya Semyonovna may
come with us if you like. You see, I am glad to look upon her as a daughter even . . .
Dmitri Prokofitch will help us to go together. But . . . where . . . are you going?”
“Good-bye, mother.”

“What, to-day?” she cried, as though losing him for ever.

“I can’t stay, I must go now . . . .”

“And can’t I come with you?”

“No, but kneel down and pray to God for me. Your prayer perhaps will reach
Him.”

“Let me bless you and sign you with the cross. That’s right, that’s right. Oh,
God, what are we doing?”

Yes, he was glad, he was very glad that there was no one there, that he was
alone with his mother. For the first time after all those awful months his heart was
softened. He fell down before her, he kissed her feet and both wept, embracing.
And she was not surprised and did not question him this time. For some days she
had realised that something awful was happening to her son and that now some
terrible minute had come for him.

“Rodya, my darling, my first born,” she said sobbing, “now you are just as
when you were little. You would run like this to me and hug me and kiss me. When
your father was living and we were poor, you comforted us simply by being with us
and when I buried your father, how often we wept together at his grave and
embraced, as now. And if I’ve been crying lately, it’s that my mother’s heart had a
foreboding of trouble. The first time I saw you, that evening, you remember, as
soon as we arrived here, I guessed simply from your eyes. My heart sank at once,
and to-day when I opened the door and looked at you, I thought the fatal hour had
come. Rodya, Rodya, you are not going away to-day?”
“No!”

“You’ll come again?”

“Yes . . . I’ll come.”
“Rodya, don’t be angry, I don’t dare to question you. I know I mustn’t. Only
say two words to me — is it far where you are going?”
“Very far.”

“What is awaiting you there? Some post or career for you?”

“What God sends . . . only pray for me.” Raskolnikov went to the door, but she
clutched him and gazed despairingly into his eyes. Her face worked with terror.

“Enough, mother,” said Raskolnikov, deeply regretting that he had come.

“Not for ever, it’s not yet for ever? You’ll come, you’ll come to-morrow?”
“I will, I will, good-bye.” He tore himself away at last.

It was a warm, fresh, bright evening; it had cleared up in the morning.

Raskolnikov went to his lodgings; he made haste. He wanted to finish all before
sunset. He did not want to meet anyone till then. Going up the stairs he noticed
that Nastasya rushed from the samovar to watch him intently. “Can anyone have
come to see me?” he wondered. He had a disgusted vision of Porfiry. But opening
his door he saw Dounia. She was sitting alone, plunged in deep thought, and
looked as though she had been waiting a long time. He stopped short in the
doorway. She rose from the sofa in dismay and stood up facing him. Her eyes,
fixed upon him, betrayed horror and infinite grief. And from those eyes alone he
saw at once that she knew.
“Am I to come in or go away?” he asked uncertainly.
“I’ve been all day with Sofya Semyonovna. We were both waiting for you. We
thought that you would be sure to come there.”
Raskolnikov went into the room and sank exhausted on a chair.

“I feel weak, Dounia, I am very tired; and I should have liked at this moment
to be able to control myself.”
He glanced at her mistrustfully.
 “Where were you all night?”
“I don’t remember clearly. You see, sister, I wanted to make up my mind once
for all, and several times I walked by the Neva, I remember that I wanted to end it
all there, but . . . I couldn’t make up my mind,” he whispered, looking at her
mistrustfully again.
“Thank God! That was just what we were afraid of, Sofya Semyonovna and I.
Then you still have faith in life? Thank God, thank God!”
Raskolnikov smiled bitterly.

“I haven’t faith, but I have just been weeping in mother’s arms; I haven’t faith,
but I have just asked her to pray for me. I don’t know how it is, Dounia, I don’t
understand it.”

“Have you been at mother’s? Have you told her?” cried Dounia, horror-
stricken. “Surely you haven’t done that?”
“No, I didn’t tell her . . . in words; but she understood a great deal. She heard
you talking in your sleep. I am sure she half understands it already. Perhaps I did
wrong in going to see her. I don’t know why I did go. I am a contemptible person,
Dounia.”
“A contemptible person, but ready to face suffering! You are, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am going. At once. Yes, to escape the disgrace I thought of drowning

myself, Dounia, but as I looked into the water, I thought that if I had considered
myself strong till now I’d better not be afraid of disgrace,” he said, hurrying on.
“It’s pride, Dounia.”

“Pride, Rodya.”

There was a gleam of fire in his lustreless eyes; he seemed to be glad to think
that he was still proud.

“You don’t think, sister, that I was simply afraid of the water?” he asked,
looking into her face with a sinister smile.

“Oh, Rodya, hush!” cried Dounia bitterly. Silence lasted for two minutes. He
sat with his eyes fixed on the floor; Dounia stood at the other end of the table and
looked at him with anguish. Suddenly he got up.

“It’s late, it’s time to go! I am going at once to give myself up. But I don’t know
why I am going to give myself up.”
Big tears fell down her cheeks.

“You are crying, sister, but can you hold out your hand to me?”

“You doubted it?”

She threw her arms round him.

“Aren’t you half expiating your crime by facing the suffering?” she cried,
holding him close and kissing him.
“Crime? What crime?” he cried in sudden fury. “That I killed a vile noxious
insect, an old pawnbroker woman, of use to no one! . . . Killing her was atonement
for forty sins. She was sucking the life out of poor people. Was that a crime? I am
not thinking of it and I am not thinking of expiating it, and why are you all
rubbing it in on all sides? ‘A crime! a crime!’ Only now I see clearly the imbecility
of my cowardice, now that I have decided to face this superfluous disgrace. It’s
simply because I am contemptible and have nothing in me that I have decided to,
perhaps too for my advantage, as that . . . Porfiry . . . suggested!”
“Brother, brother, what are you saying? Why, you have shed blood?” cried
Dounia in despair.

“Which all men shed,” he put in almost frantically, “which flows and has
always flowed in streams, which is spilt like champagne, and for which men are
crowned in the Capitol and are called afterwards benefactors of mankind. Look
into it more carefully and understand it! I too wanted to do good to men and
would have done hundreds, thousands of good deeds to make up for that one piece
of stupidity, not stupidity even, simply clumsiness, for the idea was by no means
so stupid as it seems now that it has failed. . . . (Everything seems stupid when it
fails.) By that stupidity I only wanted to put myself into an independent position,
to take the first step, to obtain means, and then everything would have been
smoothed over by benefits immeasurable in comparison. . . . But I . . . I couldn’t
carry out even the first step, because I am contemptible, that’s what’s the matter!
And yet I won’t look at it as you do. If I had succeeded I should have been crowned
with glory, but now I’m trapped.”

“But that’s not so, not so! Brother, what are you saying?”
“Ah, it’s not picturesque, not æsthetically attractive! I fail to understand why
bombarding people by regular siege is more honourable. The fear of appearances
is the first symptom of impotence. I’ve never, never recognised this more clearly
than now, and I am further than ever from seeing that what I did was a crime. I’ve
never, never been stronger and more convinced than now.”

The colour had rushed into his pale exhausted face, but as he uttered his last
explanation, he happened to meet Dounia’s eyes and he saw such anguish in them
that he could not help being checked. He felt that he had, anyway, made these two
poor women miserable, that he was, anyway, the cause …

“Dounia darling, if I am guilty forgive me (though I cannot be forgiven if I am

guilty). Good-bye! We won’t dispute. It’s time, high time to go. Don’t follow me, I
beseech you, I have somewhere else to go. . . . But you go at once and sit with
mother. I entreat you to! It’s my last request of you. Don’t leave her at all; I left her
in a state of anxiety, that she is not fit to bear; she will die or go out of her mind.
Be with her! Razumihin will be with you. I’ve been talking to him. . . . Don’t cry
about me: I’ll try to be honest and manly all my life, even if I am a murderer.
Perhaps I shall some day make a name. I won’t disgrace you, you will see; I’ll still
show. . . . Now good-bye for the present,” he concluded hurriedly, noticing again a
strange expression in Dounia’s eyes at his last words and promises. “Why are you
crying? Don’t cry, don’t cry: we are not parting for ever! Ah, yes! Wait a minute,
I’d forgotten!”

He went to the table, took up a thick dusty book, opened it and took from
between the pages a little water-colour portrait on ivory. It was the portrait of his
landlady’s daughter, who had died of fever, that strange girl who had wanted to be
a nun. For a minute he gazed at the delicate expressive face of his betrothed,
kissed the portrait and gave it to Dounia.

“I used to talk a great deal about it to her, only to her,” he said thoughtfully.
“To her heart I confided much of what has since been so hideously realised. Don’t
be uneasy,” he returned to Dounia, “she was as much opposed to it as you, and I
am glad that she is gone. The great point is that everything now is going to be
different, is going to be broken in two,” he cried, suddenly returning to his
dejection. “Everything, everything, and am I prepared for it? Do I want it myself?
They say it is necessary for me to suffer! What’s the object of these senseless
sufferings? shall I know any better what they are for, when I am crushed by
hardships and idiocy, and weak as an old man after twenty years’ penal servitude?
And what shall I have to live for then? Why am I consenting to that life now? Oh, I
knew I was contemptible when I stood looking at the Neva at daybreak to-day!”

At last they both went out. It was hard for Dounia, but she loved him. She
walked away, but after going fifty paces she turned round to look at him again. He
was still in sight. At the corner he too turned and for the last time their eyes met;
but noticing that she was looking at him, he motioned her away with impatience
and even vexation, and turned the corner abruptly.

“I am wicked, I see that,” he thought to himself, feeling ashamed a moment

later of his angry gesture to Dounia. “But why are they so fond of me if I don’t
deserve it? Oh, if only I were alone and no one loved me and I too had never loved
anyone! Nothing of all this would have happened. But I wonder shall I in those
fifteen or twenty years grow so meek that I shall humble myself before people and
whimper at every word that I am a criminal? Yes, that’s it, that’s it, that’s what
they are sending me there for, that’s what they want. Look at them running to and
fro about the streets, every one of them a scoundrel and a criminal at heart and,
worse still, an idiot. But try to get me off and they’d be wild with righteous
indignation. Oh, how I hate them all!”
He fell to musing by what process it could come to pass, that he could be
humbled before all of them, indiscriminately — humbled by conviction. And yet
why not? It must be so. Would not twenty years of continual bondage crush him
utterly? Water wears out a stone. And why, why should he live after that? Why
should he go now when he knew that it would be so? It was the hundredth time
perhaps that he had asked himself that question since the previous evening, but
still he went.
 CHAPTER VIII

When he went into Sonia’s room, it was already getting dark. All day Sonia had
been waiting for him in terrible anxiety. Dounia had been waiting with her. She
had come to her that morning, remembering Svidrigaïlov’s words that Sonia knew.
We will not describe the conversation and tears of the two girls, and how friendly
they became. Dounia gained one comfort at least from that interview, that her
brother would not be alone. He had gone to her, Sonia, first with his confession;
he had gone to her for human fellowship when he needed it; she would go with
him wherever fate might send him. Dounia did not ask, but she knew it was so.
She looked at Sonia almost with reverence and at first almost embarrassed her by
it. Sonia was almost on the point of tears. She felt herself, on the contrary, hardly
worthy to look at Dounia. Dounia’s gracious image when she had bowed to her so
attentively and respectfully at their first meeting in Raskolnikov’s room had
remained in her mind as one of the fairest visions of her life.

Dounia at last became impatient and, leaving Sonia, went to her brother’s
room to await him there; she kept thinking that he would come there first. When
she had gone, Sonia began to be tortured by the dread of his committing suicide,
and Dounia too feared it. But they had spent the day trying to persuade each other
that that could not be, and both were less anxious while they were together. As
soon as they parted, each thought of nothing else. Sonia remembered how
Svidrigaïlov had said to her the day before that Raskolnikov had two alternatives
— Siberia or . . . Besides she knew his vanity, his pride and his lack of faith.

“Is it possible that he has nothing but cowardice and fear of death to make
him live?” she thought at last in despair.
Meanwhile the sun was setting. Sonia was standing in dejection, looking
intently out of the window, but from it she could see nothing but the
unwhitewashed blank wall of the next house. At last when she began to feel sure of
his death — he walked into the room.
She gave a cry of joy, but looking carefully into his face she turned pale.
“Yes,” said Raskolnikov, smiling. “I have come for your cross, Sonia. It was
you told me to go to the cross-roads; why is it you are frightened now it’s come to
that?”
 Sonia gazed at him astonished. His tone seemed strange to her; a cold shiver
ran over her, but in a moment she guessed that the tone and the words were a
mask. He spoke to her looking away, as though to avoid meeting her eyes.
“You see, Sonia, I’ve decided that it will be better so. There is one fact. . . . But
it’s a long story and there’s no need to discuss it. But do you know what angers
me? It annoys me that all those stupid brutish faces will be gaping at me directly,
pestering me with their stupid questions, which I shall have to answer — they’ll
point their fingers at me . . . . Tfoo! You know I am not going to Porfiry, I am sick
of him. I’d rather go to my friend, the Explosive Lieutenant; how I shall surprise
him, what a sensation I shall make! But I must be cooler; I’ve become too irritable
of late. You know I was nearly shaking my fist at my sister just now, because she
turned to take a last look at me. It’s a brutal state to be in! Ah! what am I coming
to! Well, where are the crosses?”

He seemed hardly to know what he was doing. He could not stay still or
concentrate his attention on anything; his ideas seemed to gallop after one
another, he talked incoherently, his hands trembled slightly.
Without a word Sonia took out of the drawer two crosses, one of cypress wood
and one of copper. She made the sign of the cross over herself and over him, and
put the wooden cross on his neck.
“It’s the symbol of my taking up the cross,” he laughed. “As though I had not
suffered much till now! The wooden cross, that is the peasant one; the copper one,
that is Lizaveta’s — you will wear yourself, show me! So she had it on . . . at that
moment? I remember two things like these too, a silver one and a little ikon. I
threw them back on the old woman’s neck. Those would be appropriate now,
really, those are what I ought to put on now. . . . But I am talking nonsense and
forgetting what matters; I’m somehow forgetful. . . . You see I have come to warn
you, Sonia, so that you might know . . . that’s all — that’s all I came for. But I
thought I had more to say. You wanted me to go yourself. Well, now I am going to
prison and you’ll have your wish. Well, what are you crying for? You too? Don’t.
Leave off! Oh, how I hate it all!”
But his feeling was stirred; his heart ached, as he looked at her. “Why is she
grieving too?” he thought to himself. “What am I to her? Why does she weep? Why
is she looking after me, like my mother or Dounia? She’ll be my nurse.”
 “Cross yourself, say at least one prayer,” Sonia begged in a timid broken voice.

“Oh certainly, as much as you like! And sincerely, Sonia, sincerely . . . .”

But he wanted to say something quite different.

He crossed himself several times. Sonia took up her shawl and put it over her
head. It was the green drap de dames shawl of which Marmeladov had spoken,
“the family shawl.” Raskolnikov thought of that looking at it, but he did not ask.
He began to feel himself that he was certainly forgetting things and was
disgustingly agitated. He was frightened at this. He was suddenly struck too by the
thought that Sonia meant to go with him.

“What are you doing? Where are you going? Stay here, stay! I’ll go alone,” he
cried in cowardly vexation, and almost resentful, he moved towards the door.
“What’s the use of going in procession?” he muttered going out.

Sonia remained standing in the middle of the room. He had not even said
good-bye to her; he had forgotten her. A poignant and rebellious doubt surged in
his heart.

“Was it right, was it right, all this?” he thought again as he went down the
stairs. “Couldn’t he stop and retract it all . . . and not go?”

But still he went. He felt suddenly once for all that he mustn’t ask himself
questions. As he turned into the street he remembered that he had not said good-
bye to Sonia, that he had left her in the middle of the room in her green shawl, not
daring to stir after he had shouted at her, and he stopped short for a moment. At
the same instant, another thought dawned upon him, as though it had been lying
in wait to strike him then.
“Why, with what object did I go to her just now? I told her — on business; on
what business? I had no sort of business! To tell her I was going; but where was
the need? Do I love her? No, no, I drove her away just now like a dog. Did I want
her crosses? Oh, how low I’ve sunk! No, I wanted her tears, I wanted to see her
terror, to see how her heart ached! I had to have something to cling to, something
to delay me, some friendly face to see! And I dared to believe in myself, to dream
of what I would do! I am a beggarly contemptible wretch, contemptible!”

He walked along the canal bank, and he had not much further to go. But on
reaching the bridge he stopped and turning out of his way along it went to the Hay
Market.
He looked eagerly to right and left, gazed intently at every object and could
not fix his attention on anything; everything slipped away. “In another week,
another month I shall be driven in a prison van over this bridge, how shall I look
at the canal then? I should like to remember this!” slipped into his mind. “Look at
this sign! How shall I read those letters then? It’s written here ‘Campany,’ that’s a
thing to remember, that letter a, and to look at it again in a month — how shall I
look at it then? What shall I be feeling and thinking then? . . . How trivial it all
must be, what I am fretting about now! Of course it must all be interesting . . . in
its way . . . (Ha-ha-ha! What am I thinking about?) I am becoming a baby, I am
showing off to myself; why am I ashamed? Foo! how people shove! that fat man —
a German he must be — who pushed against me, does he know whom he pushed?
There’s a peasant woman with a baby, begging. It’s curious that she thinks me
happier than she is. I might give her something, for the incongruity of it. Here’s a
five copeck piece left in my pocket, where did I get it? Here, here . . . take it, my
good woman!”

“God bless you,” the beggar chanted in a lachrymose voice.

He went into the Hay Market. It was distasteful, very distasteful to be in a
crowd, but he walked just where he saw most people. He would have given
anything in the world to be alone; but he knew himself that he would not have
remained alone for a moment. There was a man drunk and disorderly in the
crowd; he kept trying to dance and falling down. There was a ring round him.
Raskolnikov squeezed his way through the crowd, stared for some minutes at the
drunken man and suddenly gave a short jerky laugh. A minute later he had
forgotten him and did not see him, though he still stared. He moved away at last,
not remembering where he was; but when he got into the middle of the square an
emotion suddenly came over him, overwhelming him body and mind.
He suddenly recalled Sonia’s words, “Go to the cross-roads, bow down to the
people, kiss the earth, for you have sinned against it too, and say aloud to the
whole world, ‘I am a murderer.’” He trembled, remembering that. And the
hopeless misery and anxiety of all that time, especially of the last hours, had
weighed so heavily upon him that he positively clutched at the chance of this new
unmixed, complete sensation. It came over him like a fit; it was like a single spark
kindled in his soul and spreading fire through him. Everything in him softened at
once and the tears started into his eyes. He fell to the earth on the spot . . . .
He knelt down in the middle of the square, bowed down to the earth, and
kissed that filthy earth with bliss and rapture. He got up and bowed down a
second time.

“He’s boozed,” a youth near him observed.

There was a roar of laughter.
“He’s going to Jerusalem, brothers, and saying good-bye to his children and
his country. He’s bowing down to all the world and kissing the great city of St.
Petersburg and its pavement,” added a workman who was a little drunk.

“Quite a young man, too!” observed a third.

“And a gentleman,” someone observed soberly.
“There’s no knowing who’s a gentleman and who isn’t nowadays.”

These exclamations and remarks checked Raskolnikov, and the words, “I am

a murderer,” which were perhaps on the point of dropping from his lips, died
away. He bore these remarks quietly, however, and, without looking round, he
turned down a street leading to the police office. He had a glimpse of something
on the way which did not surprise him; he had felt that it must be so. The second
time he bowed down in the Hay Market he saw, standing fifty paces from him on
the left, Sonia. She was hiding from him behind one of the wooden shanties in the
market-place. She had followed him then on his painful way! Raskolnikov at that
moment felt and knew once for all that Sonia was with him for ever and would
follow him to the ends of the earth, wherever fate might take him. It wrung his
heart . . . but he was just reaching the fatal place.
He went into the yard fairly resolutely. He had to mount to the third storey. “I
shall be some time going up,” he thought. He felt as though the fateful moment
was still far off, as though he had plenty of time left for consideration.

Again the same rubbish, the same eggshells lying about on the spiral stairs,
again the open doors of the flats, again the same kitchens and the same fumes and
stench coming from them. Raskolnikov had not been here since that day. His legs
were numb and gave way under him, but still they moved forward. He stopped for
a moment to take breath, to collect himself, so as to enter like a man. “But why?
what for?” he wondered, reflecting. “If I must drink the cup what difference does it
make? The more revolting the better.” He imagined for an instant the figure of the
“explosive lieutenant,” Ilya Petrovitch. Was he actually going to him? Couldn’t he
go to someone else? To Nikodim Fomitch? Couldn’t he turn back and go straight
to Nikodim Fomitch’s lodgings? At least then it would be done privately. . . . No,
no! To the “explosive lieutenant”! If he must drink it, drink it off at once.
Turning cold and hardly conscious, he opened the door of the office. There
were very few people in it this time — only a house porter and a peasant. The
doorkeeper did not even peep out from behind his screen. Raskolnikov walked
into the next room. “Perhaps I still need not speak,” passed through his mind.
Some sort of clerk not wearing a uniform was settling himself at a bureau to write.
In a corner another clerk was seating himself. Zametov was not there, nor, of
course, Nikodim Fomitch.

“No one in?” Raskolnikov asked, addressing the person at the bureau.

“Whom do you want?”

“A-ah! Not a sound was heard, not a sight was seen, but I scent the Russian
. . . how does it go on in the fairy tale . . . I’ve forgotten! ‘At your service!’” a
familiar voice cried suddenly.

Raskolnikov shuddered. The Explosive Lieutenant stood before him. He had

just come in from the third room. “It is the hand of fate,” thought Raskolnikov.
“Why is he here?”

“You’ve come to see us? What about?” cried Ilya Petrovitch. He was obviously
in an exceedingly good humour and perhaps a trifle exhilarated. “If it’s on
business you are rather early.3 It’s only a chance that I am here . . . however I’ll do
what I can. I must admit, I . . . what is it, what is it? Excuse me . . . .”
3 Dostoevsky appears to have forgotten that it is after sunset, and that the last time
Raskolnikov visited the police office at two in the afternoon he was reproached for coming
too late. — TRANSLATOR.

“Raskolnikov.”
“Of course, Raskolnikov. You didn’t imagine I’d forgotten? Don’t think I am
like that . . . Rodion Ro — Ro — Rodionovitch, that’s it, isn’t it?”

“Rodion Romanovitch.”

“Yes, yes, of course, Rodion Romanovitch! I was just getting at it. I made
many inquiries about you. I assure you I’ve been genuinely grieved since that . . .
since I behaved like that . . . it was explained to me afterwards that you were a
literary man . . . and a learned one too . . . and so to say the first steps . . . Mercy on
us! What literary or scientific man does not begin by some originality of conduct!
My wife and I have the greatest respect for literature, in my wife it’s a genuine
passion! Literature and art! If only a man is a gentleman, all the rest can be gained
by talents, learning, good sense, genius. As for a hat — well, what does a hat
matter? I can buy a hat as easily as I can a bun; but what’s under the hat, what the
hat covers, I can’t buy that! I was even meaning to come and apologise to you, but
thought maybe you’d . . . But I am forgetting to ask you, is there anything you want
really? I hear your family have come?”

“Yes, my mother and sister.”

“I’ve even had the honour and happiness of meeting your sister — a highly
cultivated and charming person. I confess I was sorry I got so hot with you. There
it is! But as for my looking suspiciously at your fainting fit — that affair has been
cleared up splendidly! Bigotry and fanaticism! I understand your indignation.
Perhaps you are changing your lodging on account of your family’s arriving?”
“No, I only looked in . . . I came to ask . . . I thought that I should find
Zametov here.”

“Oh, yes! Of course, you’ve made friends, I heard. Well, no, Zametov is not
here. Yes, we’ve lost Zametov. He’s not been here since yesterday . . . he quarrelled
with everyone on leaving . . . in the rudest way. He is a feather-headed youngster,
that’s all; one might have expected something from him, but there, you know what
they are, our brilliant young men. He wanted to go in for some examination, but
it’s only to talk and boast about it, it will go no further than that. Of course it’s a
very different matter with you or Mr. Razumihin there, your friend. Your career is
an intellectual one and you won’t be deterred by failure. For you, one may say, all
the attractions of life nihil est — you are an ascetic, a monk, a hermit! . . . A book, a
pen behind your ear, a learned research — that’s where your spirit soars! I am the
same way myself. . . . Have you read Livingstone’s Travels?”

“No.”

“Oh, I have. There are a great many Nihilists about nowadays, you know, and
indeed it is not to be wondered at. What sort of days are they? I ask you. But we
thought . . . you are not a Nihilist of course? Answer me openly, openly!”

“N-no …”
“Believe me, you can speak openly to me as you would to yourself! Official
duty is one thing but . . . you are thinking I meant to say friendship is quite
another? No, you’re wrong! It’s not friendship, but the feeling of a man and a
citizen, the feeling of humanity and of love for the Almighty. I may be an official,
but I am always bound to feel myself a man and a citizen. . . . You were asking
about Zametov. Zametov will make a scandal in the French style in a house of bad
reputation, over a glass of champagne . . . that’s all your Zametov is good for!
While I’m perhaps, so to speak, burning with devotion and lofty feelings, and
besides I have rank, consequence, a post! I am married and have children, I fulfil
the duties of a man and a citizen, but who is he, may I ask? I appeal to you as a
man ennobled by education . . . Then these midwives, too, have become
extraordinarily numerous.”

Raskolnikov raised his eyebrows inquiringly. The words of Ilya Petrovitch,

who had obviously been dining, were for the most part a stream of empty sounds
for him. But some of them he understood. He looked at him inquiringly, not
knowing how it would end.

“I mean those crop-headed wenches,” the talkative Ilya Petrovitch continued.

“Midwives is my name for them. I think it a very satisfactory one, ha-ha! They go
to the Academy, study anatomy. If I fall ill, am I to send for a young lady to treat
me? What do you say? Ha-ha!” Ilya Petrovitch laughed, quite pleased with his own
wit. “It’s an immoderate zeal for education, but once you’re educated, that’s
enough. Why abuse it? Why insult honourable people, as that scoundrel Zametov
does? Why did he insult me, I ask you? Look at these suicides, too, how common
they are, you can’t fancy! People spend their last halfpenny and kill themselves,
boys and girls and old people. Only this morning we heard about a gentleman who
had just come to town. Nil Pavlitch, I say, what was the name of that gentleman
who shot himself?”

“Svidrigaïlov,” someone answered from the other room with drowsy

listlessness.
Raskolnikov started.

“Svidrigaïlov! Svidrigaïlov has shot himself!” he cried.

 “What, do you know Svidrigaïlov?”
“Yes . . . I knew him. . . . He hadn’t been here long.”

“Yes, that’s so. He had lost his wife, was a man of reckless habits and all of a
sudden shot himself, and in such a shocking way. . . . He left in his notebook a few
words: that he dies in full possession of his faculties and that no one is to blame
for his death. He had money, they say. How did you come to know him?”

“I . . . was acquainted . . . my sister was governess in his family.”

“Bah-bah-bah! Then no doubt you can tell us something about him. You had
no suspicion?”

“I saw him yesterday . . . he . . . was drinking wine; I knew nothing.”

Raskolnikov felt as though something had fallen on him and was stifling him.

“You’ve turned pale again. It’s so stuffy here …”

“Yes, I must go,” muttered Raskolnikov. “Excuse my troubling you . . . .”

“Oh, not at all, as often as you like. It’s a pleasure to see you and I am glad to
say so.”
Ilya Petrovitch held out his hand.

“I only wanted . . . I came to see Zametov.”

“I understand, I understand, and it’s a pleasure to see you.”

“I . . . am very glad . . . good-bye,” Raskolnikov smiled.

He went out; he reeled, he was overtaken with giddiness and did not know
what he was doing. He began going down the stairs, supporting himself with his
right hand against the wall. He fancied that a porter pushed past him on his way
upstairs to the police office, that a dog in the lower storey kept up a shrill barking
and that a woman flung a rolling-pin at it and shouted. He went down and out into
the yard. There, not far from the entrance, stood Sonia, pale and horror-stricken.
She looked wildly at him. He stood still before her. There was a look of poignant
agony, of despair, in her face. She clasped her hands. His lips worked in an ugly,
meaningless smile. He stood still a minute, grinned and went back to the police
office.

Ilya Petrovitch had sat down and was rummaging among some papers. Before
him stood the same peasant who had pushed by on the stairs.

“Hulloa! Back again! have you left something behind? What’s the matter?”

Raskolnikov, with white lips and staring eyes, came slowly nearer. He walked
right to the table, leaned his hand on it, tried to say something, but could not; only
incoherent sounds were audible.

“You are feeling ill, a chair! Here, sit down! Some water!”

Raskolnikov dropped on to a chair, but he kept his eyes fixed on the face of
Ilya Petrovitch, which expressed unpleasant surprise. Both looked at one another
for a minute and waited. Water was brought.

“It was I …” began Raskolnikov.

“Drink some water.”

Raskolnikov refused the water with his hand, and softly and brokenly, but
distinctly said:

“It was I killed the old pawnbroker woman and her sister Lizaveta with an
axe and robbed them.”

Ilya Petrovitch opened his mouth. People ran up on all sides.

Raskolnikov repeated his statement.

 EPILOGUE

Siberia. On the banks of a broad solitary river stands a town, one of the
administrative centres of Russia; in the town there is a fortress, in the fortress
there is a prison. In the prison the second-class convict Rodion Raskolnikov has
been confined for nine months. Almost a year and a half has passed since his
crime.
There had been little difficulty about his trial. The criminal adhered exactly,
firmly, and clearly to his statement. He did not confuse nor misrepresent the facts,
nor soften them in his own interest, nor omit the smallest detail. He explained
every incident of the murder, the secret of the pledge (the piece of wood with a
strip of metal) which was found in the murdered woman’s hand. He described
minutely how he had taken her keys, what they were like, as well as the chest and
its contents; he explained the mystery of Lizaveta’s murder; described how Koch
and, after him, the student knocked, and repeated all they had said to one
another; how he afterwards had run downstairs and heard Nikolay and Dmitri
shouting; how he had hidden in the empty flat and afterwards gone home. He
ended by indicating the stone in the yard off the Voznesensky Prospect under
which the purse and the trinkets were found. The whole thing, in fact, was
perfectly clear. The lawyers and the judges were very much struck, among other
things, by the fact that he had hidden the trinkets and the purse under a stone,
without making use of them, and that, what was more, he did not now remember
what the trinkets were like, or even how many there were. The fact that he had
never opened the purse and did not even know how much was in it seemed
incredible. There turned out to be in the purse three hundred and seventeen
roubles and sixty copecks. From being so long under the stone, some of the most
valuable notes lying uppermost had suffered from the damp. They were a long
while trying to discover why the accused man should tell a lie about this, when
about everything else he had made a truthful and straightforward confession.
Finally some of the lawyers more versed in psychology admitted that it was
possible he had really not looked into the purse, and so didn’t know what was in it
when he hid it under the stone. But they immediately drew the deduction that the
crime could only have been committed through temporary mental derangement,
through homicidal mania, without object or the pursuit of gain. This fell in with
the most recent fashionable theory of temporary insanity, so often applied in our
days in criminal cases. Moreover Raskolnikov’s hypochondriacal condition was
proved by many witnesses, by Dr. Zossimov, his former fellow students, his
landlady and her servant. All this pointed strongly to the conclusion that
Raskolnikov was not quite like an ordinary murderer and robber, but that there
was another element in the case.

To the intense annoyance of those who maintained this opinion, the criminal
scarcely attempted to defend himself. To the decisive question as to what motive
impelled him to the murder and the robbery, he answered very clearly with the
coarsest frankness that the cause was his miserable position, his poverty and
helplessness, and his desire to provide for his first steps in life by the help of the
three thousand roubles he had reckoned on finding. He had been led to the
murder through his shallow and cowardly nature, exasperated moreover by
privation and failure. To the question what led him to confess, he answered that it
was his heartfelt repentance. All this was almost coarse . . . .

The sentence however was more merciful than could have been expected,
perhaps partly because the criminal had not tried to justify himself, but had rather
shown a desire to exaggerate his guilt. All the strange and peculiar circumstances
of the crime were taken into consideration. There could be no doubt of the
abnormal and poverty-stricken condition of the criminal at the time. The fact that
he had made no use of what he had stolen was put down partly to the effect of
remorse, partly to his abnormal mental condition at the time of the crime.
Incidentally the murder of Lizaveta served indeed to confirm the last hypothesis: a
man commits two murders and forgets that the door is open! Finally, the
confession, at the very moment when the case was hopelessly muddled by the false
evidence given by Nikolay through melancholy and fanaticism, and when,
moreover, there were no proofs against the real criminal, no suspicions even
(Porfiry Petrovitch fully kept his word) — all this did much to soften the sentence.
Other circumstances, too, in the prisoner’s favour came out quite unexpectedly.
Razumihin somehow discovered and proved that while Raskolnikov was at the
university he had helped a poor consumptive fellow student and had spent his last
penny on supporting him for six months, and when this student died, leaving a
decrepit old father whom he had maintained almost from his thirteenth year,
Raskolnikov had got the old man into a hospital and paid for his funeral when he
died. Raskolnikov’s landlady bore witness, too, that when they had lived in
another house at Five Corners, Raskolnikov had rescued two little children from a
house on fire and was burnt in doing so. This was investigated and fairly well
confirmed by many witnesses. These facts made an impression in his favour.

And in the end the criminal was, in consideration of extenuating

circumstances, condemned to penal servitude in the second class for a term of
eight years only.

At the very beginning of the trial Raskolnikov’s mother fell ill. Dounia and
Razumihin found it possible to get her out of Petersburg during the trial.
Razumihin chose a town on the railway not far from Petersburg, so as to be able to
follow every step of the trial and at the same time to see Avdotya Romanovna as
often as possible. Pulcheria Alexandrovna’s illness was a strange nervous one and
was accompanied by a partial derangement of her intellect.

When Dounia returned from her last interview with her brother, she had
found her mother already ill, in feverish delirium. That evening Razumihin and
she agreed what answers they must make to her mother’s questions about
Raskolnikov and made up a complete story for her mother’s benefit of his having
to go away to a distant part of Russia on a business commission, which would
bring him in the end money and reputation.

But they were struck by the fact that Pulcheria Alexandrovna never asked
them anything on the subject, neither then nor thereafter. On the contrary, she
had her own version of her son’s sudden departure; she told them with tears how
he had come to say good-bye to her, hinting that she alone knew many mysterious
and important facts, and that Rodya had many very powerful enemies, so that it
was necessary for him to be in hiding. As for his future career, she had no doubt
that it would be brilliant when certain sinister influences could be removed. She
assured Razumihin that her son would be one day a great statesman, that his
article and brilliant literary talent proved it. This article she was continually
reading, she even read it aloud, almost took it to bed with her, but scarcely asked
where Rodya was, though the subject was obviously avoided by the others, which
might have been enough to awaken her suspicions.
They began to be frightened at last at Pulcheria Alexandrovna’s strange
silence on certain subjects. She did not, for instance, complain of getting no letters
from him, though in previous years she had only lived on the hope of letters from
her beloved Rodya. This was the cause of great uneasiness to Dounia; the idea
occurred to her that her mother suspected that there was something terrible in her
son’s fate and was afraid to ask, for fear of hearing something still more awful. In
any case, Dounia saw clearly that her mother was not in full possession of her
faculties.

It happened once or twice, however, that Pulcheria Alexandrovna gave such a

turn to the conversation that it was impossible to answer her without mentioning
where Rodya was, and on receiving unsatisfactory and suspicious answers she
became at once gloomy and silent, and this mood lasted for a long time. Dounia
saw at last that it was hard to deceive her and came to the conclusion that it was
better to be absolutely silent on certain points; but it became more and more
evident that the poor mother suspected something terrible. Dounia remembered
her brother’s telling her that her mother had overheard her talking in her sleep on
the night after her interview with Svidrigaïlov and before the fatal day of the
confession: had not she made out something from that? Sometimes days and even
weeks of gloomy silence and tears would be succeeded by a period of hysterical
animation, and the invalid would begin to talk almost incessantly of her son, of
her hopes of his future. . . . Her fancies were sometimes very strange. They
humoured her, pretended to agree with her (she saw perhaps that they were
pretending), but she still went on talking.
Five months after Raskolnikov’s confession, he was sentenced. Razumihin
and Sonia saw him in prison as often as it was possible. At last the moment of
separation came. Dounia swore to her brother that the separation should not be
for ever, Razumihin did the same. Razumihin, in his youthful ardour, had firmly
resolved to lay the foundations at least of a secure livelihood during the next three
or four years, and saving up a certain sum, to emigrate to Siberia, a country rich in
every natural resource and in need of workers, active men and capital. There they
would settle in the town where Rodya was and all together would begin a new life.
They all wept at parting.

Raskolnikov had been very dreamy for a few days before. He asked a great
deal about his mother and was constantly anxious about her. He worried so much
about her that it alarmed Dounia. When he heard about his mother’s illness he
became very gloomy. With Sonia he was particularly reserved all the time. With
the help of the money left to her by Svidrigaïlov, Sonia had long ago made her
preparations to follow the party of convicts in which he was despatched to Siberia.
Not a word passed between Raskolnikov and her on the subject, but both knew it
would be so. At the final leave-taking he smiled strangely at his sister’s and
Razumihin’s fervent anticipations of their happy future together when he should
come out of prison. He predicted that their mother’s illness would soon have a
fatal ending. Sonia and he at last set off.
Two months later Dounia was married to Razumihin. It was a quiet and
sorrowful wedding; Porfiry Petrovitch and Zossimov were invited however. During
all this period Razumihin wore an air of resolute determination. Dounia put
implicit faith in his carrying out his plans and indeed she could not but believe in
him. He displayed a rare strength of will. Among other things he began attending
university lectures again in order to take his degree. They were continually making
plans for the future; both counted on settling in Siberia within five years at least.
Till then they rested their hopes on Sonia.
Pulcheria Alexandrovna was delighted to give her blessing to Dounia’s
marriage with Razumihin; but after the marriage she became even more
melancholy and anxious. To give her pleasure Razumihin told her how
Raskolnikov had looked after the poor student and his decrepit father and how a
year ago he had been burnt and injured in rescuing two little children from a fire.
These two pieces of news excited Pulcheria Alexandrovna’s disordered
imagination almost to ecstasy. She was continually talking about them, even
entering into conversation with strangers in the street, though Dounia always
accompanied her. In public conveyances and shops, wherever she could capture a
listener, she would begin the discourse about her son, his article, how he had
helped the student, how he had been burnt at the fire, and so on! Dounia did not
know how to restrain her. Apart from the danger of her morbid excitement, there
was the risk of someone’s recalling Raskolnikov’s name and speaking of the recent
trial. Pulcheria Alexandrovna found out the address of the mother of the two
children her son had saved and insisted on going to see her.
At last her restlessness reached an extreme point. She would sometimes begin
to cry suddenly and was often ill and feverishly delirious. One morning she
declared that by her reckoning Rodya ought soon to be home, that she
remembered when he said good-bye to her he said that they must expect him back
in nine months. She began to prepare for his coming, began to do up her room for
him, to clean the furniture, to wash and put up new hangings and so on. Dounia
was anxious, but said nothing and helped her to arrange the room. After a
fatiguing day spent in continual fancies, in joyful day-dreams and tears, Pulcheria
Alexandrovna was taken ill in the night and by morning she was feverish and
delirious. It was brain fever. She died within a fortnight. In her delirium she
dropped words which showed that she knew a great deal more about her son’s
terrible fate than they had supposed.
For a long time Raskolnikov did not know of his mother’s death, though a
regular correspondence had been maintained from the time he reached Siberia. It
was carried on by means of Sonia, who wrote every month to the Razumihins and
received an answer with unfailing regularity. At first they found Sonia’s letters dry
and unsatisfactory, but later on they came to the conclusion that the letters could
not be better, for from these letters they received a complete picture of their
unfortunate brother’s life. Sonia’s letters were full of the most matter-of-fact
detail, the simplest and clearest description of all Raskolnikov’s surroundings as a
convict. There was no word of her own hopes, no conjecture as to the future, no
description of her feelings. Instead of any attempt to interpret his state of mind
and inner life, she gave the simple facts — that is, his own words, an exact account
of his health, what he asked for at their interviews, what commission he gave her
and so on. All these facts she gave with extraordinary minuteness. The picture of
their unhappy brother stood out at last with great clearness and precision. There
could be no mistake, because nothing was given but facts.
But Dounia and her husband could get little comfort out of the news,
especially at first. Sonia wrote that he was constantly sullen and not ready to talk,
that he scarcely seemed interested in the news she gave him from their letters,
that he sometimes asked after his mother and that when, seeing that he had
guessed the truth, she told him at last of her death, she was surprised to find that
he did not seem greatly affected by it, not externally at any rate. She told them
that, although he seemed so wrapped up in himself and, as it were, shut himself
off from everyone — he took a very direct and simple view of his new life; that he
understood his position, expected nothing better for the time, had no ill-founded
hopes (as is so common in his position) and scarcely seemed surprised at anything
in his surroundings, so unlike anything he had known before. She wrote that his
health was satisfactory; he did his work without shirking or seeking to do more; he
was almost indifferent about food, but except on Sundays and holidays the food
was so bad that at last he had been glad to accept some money from her, Sonia, to
have his own tea every day. He begged her not to trouble about anything else,
declaring that all this fuss about him only annoyed him. Sonia wrote further that
in prison he shared the same room with the rest, that she had not seen the inside
of their barracks, but concluded that they were crowded, miserable and unhealthy;
that he slept on a plank bed with a rug under him and was unwilling to make any
other arrangement. But that he lived so poorly and roughly, not from any plan or
design, but simply from inattention and indifference.
Sonia wrote simply that he had at first shown no interest in her visits, had
almost been vexed with her indeed for coming, unwilling to talk and rude to her.
But that in the end these visits had become a habit and almost a necessity for him,
so that he was positively distressed when she was ill for some days and could not
visit him. She used to see him on holidays at the prison gates or in the guard-
room, to which he was brought for a few minutes to see her. On working days she
would go to see him at work either at the workshops or at the brick kilns, or at the
sheds on the banks of the Irtish.
About herself, Sonia wrote that she had succeeded in making some
acquaintances in the town, that she did sewing, and, as there was scarcely a
dressmaker in the town, she was looked upon as an indispensable person in many
houses. But she did not mention that the authorities were, through her, interested
in Raskolnikov; that his task was lightened and so on.

At last the news came (Dounia had indeed noticed signs of alarm and
uneasiness in the preceding letters) that he held aloof from everyone, that his
fellow prisoners did not like him, that he kept silent for days at a time and was
becoming very pale. In the last letter Sonia wrote that he had been taken very
seriously ill and was in the convict ward of the hospital.
 II

He was ill a long time. But it was not the horrors of prison life, not the hard
labour, the bad food, the shaven head, or the patched clothes that crushed him.
What did he care for all those trials and hardships! he was even glad of the hard
work. Physically exhausted, he could at least reckon on a few hours of quiet sleep.
And what was the food to him — the thin cabbage soup with beetles floating in it?
In the past as a student he had often not had even that. His clothes were warm and
suited to his manner of life. He did not even feel the fetters. Was he ashamed of
his shaven head and parti-coloured coat? Before whom? Before Sonia? Sonia was
afraid of him, how could he be ashamed before her? And yet he was ashamed even
before Sonia, whom he tortured because of it with his contemptuous rough
manner. But it was not his shaven head and his fetters he was ashamed of: his
pride had been stung to the quick. It was wounded pride that made him ill. Oh,
how happy he would have been if he could have blamed himself! He could have
borne anything then, even shame and disgrace. But he judged himself severely,
and his exasperated conscience found no particularly terrible fault in his past,
except a simple blunder which might happen to anyone. He was ashamed just
because he, Raskolnikov, had so hopelessly, stupidly come to grief through some
decree of blind fate, and must humble himself and submit to “the idiocy” of a
sentence, if he were anyhow to be at peace.

Vague and objectless anxiety in the present, and in the future a continual
sacrifice leading to nothing — that was all that lay before him. And what comfort
was it to him that at the end of eight years he would only be thirty-two and able to
begin a new life! What had he to live for? What had he to look forward to? Why
should he strive? To live in order to exist? Why, he had been ready a thousand
times before to give up existence for the sake of an idea, for a hope, even for a
fancy. Mere existence had always been too little for him; he had always wanted
more. Perhaps it was just because of the strength of his desires that he had
thought himself a man to whom more was permissible than to others.
And if only fate would have sent him repentance — burning repentance that
would have torn his heart and robbed him of sleep, that repentance, the awful
agony of which brings visions of hanging or drowning! Oh, he would have been
glad of it! Tears and agonies would at least have been life. But he did not repent of
his crime.

At least he might have found relief in raging at his stupidity, as he had raged
at the grotesque blunders that had brought him to prison. But now in prison, in
freedom, he thought over and criticised all his actions again and by no means
found them so blundering and so grotesque as they had seemed at the fatal time.

“In what way,” he asked himself, “was my theory stupider than others that
have swarmed and clashed from the beginning of the world? One has only to look
at the thing quite independently, broadly, and uninfluenced by commonplace
ideas, and my idea will by no means seem so . . . strange. Oh, sceptics and
halfpenny philosophers, why do you halt half-way!”
“Why does my action strike them as so horrible?” he said to himself. “Is it
because it was a crime? What is meant by crime? My conscience is at rest. Of
course, it was a legal crime, of course, the letter of the law was broken and blood
was shed. Well, punish me for the letter of the law . . . and that’s enough. Of
course, in that case many of the benefactors of mankind who snatched power for
themselves instead of inheriting it ought to have been punished at their first steps.
But those men succeeded and so they were right, and I didn’t, and so I had no
right to have taken that step.”
It was only in that that he recognised his criminality, only in the fact that he
had been unsuccessful and had confessed it.

He suffered too from the question: why had he not killed himself? Why had
he stood looking at the river and preferred to confess? Was the desire to live so
strong and was it so hard to overcome it? Had not Svidrigaïlov overcome it,
although he was afraid of death?

In misery he asked himself this question, and could not understand that, at
the very time he had been standing looking into the river, he had perhaps been
dimly conscious of the fundamental falsity in himself and his convictions. He
didn’t understand that that consciousness might be the promise of a future crisis,
of a new view of life and of his future resurrection.

He preferred to attribute it to the dead weight of instinct which he could not

step over, again through weakness and meanness. He looked at his fellow
prisoners and was amazed to see how they all loved life and prized it. It seemed to
him that they loved and valued life more in prison than in freedom. What terrible
agonies and privations some of them, the tramps for instance, had endured! Could
they care so much for a ray of sunshine, for the primeval forest, the cold spring
hidden away in some unseen spot, which the tramp had marked three years
before, and longed to see again, as he might to see his sweetheart, dreaming of the
green grass round it and the bird singing in the bush? As he went on he saw still
more inexplicable examples.

In prison, of course, there was a great deal he did not see and did not want to
see; he lived as it were with downcast eyes. It was loathsome and unbearable for
him to look. But in the end there was much that surprised him and he began, as it
were involuntarily, to notice much that he had not suspected before. What
surprised him most of all was the terrible impossible gulf that lay between him
and all the rest. They seemed to be a different species, and he looked at them and
they at him with distrust and hostility. He felt and knew the reasons of his
isolation, but he would never have admitted till then that those reasons were so
deep and strong. There were some Polish exiles, political prisoners, among them.
They simply looked down upon all the rest as ignorant churls; but Raskolnikov
could not look upon them like that. He saw that these ignorant men were in many
respects far wiser than the Poles. There were some Russians who were just as
contemptuous, a former officer and two seminarists. Raskolnikov saw their
mistake as clearly. He was disliked and avoided by everyone; they even began to
hate him at last — why, he could not tell. Men who had been far more guilty
despised and laughed at his crime.
“You’re a gentleman,” they used to say. “You shouldn’t hack about with an
axe; that’s not a gentleman’s work.”

The second week in Lent, his turn came to take the sacrament with his gang.
He went to church and prayed with the others. A quarrel broke out one day, he did
not know how. All fell on him at once in a fury.
“You’re an infidel! You don’t believe in God,” they shouted. “You ought to be
killed.”
He had never talked to them about God nor his belief, but they wanted to kill
him as an infidel. He said nothing. One of the prisoners rushed at him in a perfect
frenzy. Raskolnikov awaited him calmly and silently; his eyebrows did not quiver,
his face did not flinch. The guard succeeded in intervening between him and his
assailant, or there would have been bloodshed.
 There was another question he could not decide: why were they all so fond of
Sonia? She did not try to win their favour; she rarely met them, sometimes only
she came to see him at work for a moment. And yet everybody knew her, they
knew that she had come out to follow him, knew how and where she lived. She
never gave them money, did them no particular services. Only once at Christmas
she sent them all presents of pies and rolls. But by degrees closer relations sprang
up between them and Sonia. She would write and post letters for them to their
relations. Relations of the prisoners who visited the town, at their instructions, left
with Sonia presents and money for them. Their wives and sweethearts knew her
and used to visit her. And when she visited Raskolnikov at work, or met a party of
the prisoners on the road, they all took off their hats to her. “Little mother Sofya
Semyonovna, you are our dear, good little mother,” coarse branded criminals said
to that frail little creature. She would smile and bow to them and everyone was
delighted when she smiled. They even admired her gait and turned round to watch
her walking; they admired her too for being so little, and, in fact, did not know
what to admire her most for. They even came to her for help in their illnesses.
He was in the hospital from the middle of Lent till after Easter. When he was
better, he remembered the dreams he had had while he was feverish and delirious.
He dreamt that the whole world was condemned to a terrible new strange plague
that had come to Europe from the depths of Asia. All were to be destroyed except a
very few chosen. Some new sorts of microbes were attacking the bodies of men,
but these microbes were endowed with intelligence and will. Men attacked by
them became at once mad and furious. But never had men considered themselves
so intellectual and so completely in possession of the truth as these sufferers,
never had they considered their decisions, their scientific conclusions, their moral
convictions so infallible. Whole villages, whole towns and peoples went mad from
the infection. All were excited and did not understand one another. Each thought
that he alone had the truth and was wretched looking at the others, beat himself
on the breast, wept, and wrung his hands. They did not know how to judge and
could not agree what to consider evil and what good; they did not know whom to
blame, whom to justify. Men killed each other in a sort of senseless spite. They
gathered together in armies against one another, but even on the march the
armies would begin attacking each other, the ranks would be broken and the
soldiers would fall on each other, stabbing and cutting, biting and devouring each
other. The alarm bell was ringing all day long in the towns; men rushed together,
but why they were summoned and who was summoning them no one knew. The
most ordinary trades were abandoned, because everyone proposed his own ideas,
his own improvements, and they could not agree. The land too was abandoned.
Men met in groups, agreed on something, swore to keep together, but at once
began on something quite different from what they had proposed. They accused
one another, fought and killed each other. There were conflagrations and famine.
All men and all things were involved in destruction. The plague spread and moved
further and further. Only a few men could be saved in the whole world. They were
a pure chosen people, destined to found a new race and a new life, to renew and
purify the earth, but no one had seen these men, no one had heard their words
and their voices.
Raskolnikov was worried that this senseless dream haunted his memory so
miserably, the impression of this feverish delirium persisted so long. The second
week after Easter had come. There were warm bright spring days; in the prison
ward the grating windows under which the sentinel paced were opened. Sonia had
only been able to visit him twice during his illness; each time she had to obtain
permission, and it was difficult. But she often used to come to the hospital yard,
especially in the evening, sometimes only to stand a minute and look up at the
windows of the ward.
One evening, when he was almost well again, Raskolnikov fell asleep. On
waking up he chanced to go to the window, and at once saw Sonia in the distance
at the hospital gate. She seemed to be waiting for someone. Something stabbed
him to the heart at that minute. He shuddered and moved away from the window.
Next day Sonia did not come, nor the day after; he noticed that he was expecting
her uneasily. At last he was discharged. On reaching the prison he learnt from the
convicts that Sofya Semyonovna was lying ill at home and was unable to go out.
He was very uneasy and sent to inquire after her; he soon learnt that her
illness was not dangerous. Hearing that he was anxious about her, Sonia sent him
a pencilled note, telling him that she was much better, that she had a slight cold
and that she would soon, very soon come and see him at his work. His heart
throbbed painfully as he read it.
Again it was a warm bright day. Early in the morning, at six o’clock, he went
off to work on the river bank, where they used to pound alabaster and where there
was a kiln for baking it in a shed. There were only three of them sent. One of the
convicts went with the guard to the fortress to fetch a tool; the other began getting
the wood ready and laying it in the kiln. Raskolnikov came out of the shed on to
the river bank, sat down on a heap of logs by the shed and began gazing at the
wide deserted river. From the high bank a broad landscape opened before him, the
sound of singing floated faintly audible from the other bank. In the vast steppe,
bathed in sunshine, he could just see, like black specks, the nomads’ tents. There
there was freedom, there other men were living, utterly unlike those here; there
time itself seemed to stand still, as though the age of Abraham and his flocks had
not passed. Raskolnikov sat gazing, his thoughts passed into day-dreams, into
contemplation; he thought of nothing, but a vague restlessness excited and
troubled him. Suddenly he found Sonia beside him; she had come up noiselessly
and sat down at his side. It was still quite early; the morning chill was still keen.
She wore her poor old burnous and the green shawl; her face still showed signs of
illness, it was thinner and paler. She gave him a joyful smile of welcome, but held
out her hand with her usual timidity. She was always timid of holding out her
hand to him and sometimes did not offer it at all, as though afraid he would repel
it. He always took her hand as though with repugnance, always seemed vexed to
meet her and was sometimes obstinately silent throughout her visit. Sometimes
she trembled before him and went away deeply grieved. But now their hands did
not part. He stole a rapid glance at her and dropped his eyes on the ground
without speaking. They were alone, no one had seen them. The guard had turned
away for the time.

How it happened he did not know. But all at once something seemed to seize
him and fling him at her feet. He wept and threw his arms round her knees. For
the first instant she was terribly frightened and she turned pale. She jumped up
and looked at him trembling. But at the same moment she understood, and a light
of infinite happiness came into her eyes. She knew and had no doubt that he loved
her beyond everything and that at last the moment had come . . . .

They wanted to speak, but could not; tears stood in their eyes. They were both
pale and thin; but those sick pale faces were bright with the dawn of a new future,
of a full resurrection into a new life. They were renewed by love; the heart of each
held infinite sources of life for the heart of the other.

They resolved to wait and be patient. They had another seven years to wait,
and what terrible suffering and what infinite happiness before them! But he had
risen again and he knew it and felt it in all his being, while she — she only lived in
his life.

On the evening of the same day, when the barracks were locked, Raskolnikov
lay on his plank bed and thought of her. He had even fancied that day that all the
convicts who had been his enemies looked at him differently; he had even entered
into talk with them and they answered him in a friendly way. He remembered that
now, and thought it was bound to be so. Wasn’t everything now bound to be
changed?
He thought of her. He remembered how continually he had tormented her
and wounded her heart. He remembered her pale and thin little face. But these
recollections scarcely troubled him now; he knew with what infinite love he would
now repay all her sufferings. And what were all, all the agonies of the past!
Everything, even his crime, his sentence and imprisonment, seemed to him now in
the first rush of feeling an external, strange fact with which he had no concern. But
he could not think for long together of anything that evening, and he could not
have analysed anything consciously; he was simply feeling. Life had stepped into
the place of theory and something quite different would work itself out in his
mind.

Under his pillow lay the New Testament. He took it up mechanically. The
book belonged to Sonia; it was the one from which she had read the raising of
Lazarus to him. At first he was afraid that she would worry him about religion,
would talk about the gospel and pester him with books. But to his great surprise
she had not once approached the subject and had not even offered him the
Testament. He had asked her for it himself not long before his illness and she
brought him the book without a word. Till now he had not opened it.
He did not open it now, but one thought passed through his mind: “Can her
convictions not be mine now? Her feelings, her aspirations at least . . . .”

She too had been greatly agitated that day, and at night she was taken ill
again. But she was so happy — and so unexpectedly happy — that she was almost
frightened of her happiness. Seven years, only seven years! At the beginning of
their happiness at some moments they were both ready to look on those seven
years as though they were seven days. He did not know that the new life would not
be given him for nothing, that he would have to pay dearly for it, that it would cost
him great striving, great suffering.
 But that is the beginning of a new story — the story of the gradual renewal of
a man, the story of his gradual regeneration, of his passing from one world into
another, of his initiation into a new unknown life. That might be the subject of a
new story, but our present story is ended.