ah the first text in online dating where

dreams are made or broken where that hot

girl that matched with you is either
going to never text you again or
suddenly be propelled dramatically
forward towards going on a date with you
yes it really is that important and in
this video I'm going to teach you
exactly how to write good first messages
that are going to get you tons more
dates most guys royally screw up their
first messages and online dating and
that's because it's a very easy thing to
screw up and in fact maybe I should do a
video about that at some point points
but this is not that video in this video
I'm going to show you a very simple
method to always come up with pretty
damn good first messages that going to
work incredibly well on a consistent
basis and beyond that I'm going to show
you my own first messages following this
format so let's look at that right now
so very quickly before I get into the
specific messaging examples I want to
give you an overview of my general
messaging strategy when I first match
with a girl and I want to message her
the first thing I do is I scroll through
her profile and I'm looking for anything
unusual that I can comments on and
especially tease on if I can find that
that's what I'll use if not I'll use
something stock I.E something I've
written before and this may be a pure
copy and paste but more often it's
something that is related to the type of
girl she is or related to the category
of girl that I've seen work before so I
may have one type of message for sporty
athletic girls and another one for girls
who seem like kind of outgoing
socializes who go out to clubs often I
may have another one for girls who seem
like they're first generation immigrants
from South America right it can get very
specific but you don't have to reinvent
the will every time once you have a
particular message that works with that
demographic you can keep sending it to
that demographic two final quick tips
generally shorter is better if you can
say what you're saying in fewer words
it's better than saying it in many words
and also generally when you're going to
comment on something it's better to
comment on a prompt than it is to
comment on a photo because it seems more
genuine and less superficial it's a
general rule there are exceptions but in
general prompts are better to comment on
than photos so now let's look at a few
messages I sent that led to successful
interactions so in this first first case
I'm commenting on her prompt and her
prompt says fact about me that surprises
people that I've always had my own
businesses now from this I can tell a
little bit about her blueprint I can
probably tell she's entrepreneurial
ambitious probably fairly successful
that kind of stuff she didn't say say
business she said businesses Etc right
so she probably wants an ambitious guy
as well so I'm going to convey that also
I happen to be an entrepreneur myself so
I have that similarity what I don't want
to do though is act like I'm like oh my
God I'm so much like you we have such a
connection I want to be a little
irreverent I want to be a little bit
cocky a little bit funny in my response
so what I messaged was
this same I also have never had a boss
and I'm bad at taking orders winky face
so I couch me being successful in
business and running my own business I
say we're relatable in that way but I'm
actually saying the negative Parts I've
never had a boss and I'm bad at taking
orders I.E I'm a little bit unruly a
little bit undisciplined which also it
sounds like a negative in terms of
dating me as in like I'm not a well
behaved boyfriends but actually girls in
terms of Attraction don't want a well-
behaved boyfriend so I'm I'm framing a
thing that's actually attractive about
me as a negative to try and be sort of
like fake humble about it so she
responds hi the name I was using on this
profile a nice although not good at
taking orders we have two bosses here
she has some emojis and then I like your
profile too what business do you do X so
clearly a very positive response that
gets things off to the right start and
if you scroll down in the conversation
you see it ended with Saturday sounds
good what's your number or Whatsapp that
might be an easier way to figure out
details and she says Hey Okay Fab and
sends her number so things are going
very very nicely for the next two
examples I'm going to show I want to
introduce another little cheat code for
online dating which is this not only
does the girl have prompts but you have
prompts also and you know what your
prompts are that means that when the
girl messages you first you're going to
get certain responses over and over
again or you're going to get certain
prompts liked in fact a lot of times the
girls don't even write messages to you
they just like a particular prompt which
means that every single girl who's
liking that prompt is sending you
essentially the same message over and
over and over again therefore once
you've responded to it once you can copy
and paste that same message over and
over again so for each prompt you should
be prepared with a good message for when
they like that prompt now at first when
you create a profile you may not have
that yet but once you've seen that a
couple times and you've written
something that worked a few times you
now know it works you can copy and paste
and repeat that same basic answer to
each and every girl and it makes things
very very easy so the prompt she liked
in this case was you should not go out
with me if you're looking for a nice
safe accountant your parents would
approve of so when she likes this prompt
she's not only saying something about me
she's saying something about herself she
chose to like a guy who's not safe and
not boring so from this I can imply
she's maybe those same traits and this
leads the conversation in a lot of good
ways I can compliment her on that I can
qualify her on that and I can lead the
conversation towards one where we're
about being fun adventurous and taking
risks and you know one very fun risk
going on a date with a stranger so it's
a great direction to push the
conversation so with all that in mind my
response was if I can take that as an
indicator that you're also not boring
then I think there's a decent chance we
might get along fingers crossed and as
you can see she harded that and then she
responded I want to hear more about the
cash pick which is another picture of my
profile so she continued the
conversation and so then if we Zoom to
the bottom of the conversation say
definitely so her name what's your view
on drinks and Woody banter between
attractive new friends she says always
into that I say sounds good my number is
this what's yours and she sends her
number so again we have the number we
have tentative plans things are moving
in a really positive direction for the
next example again we have a girl who's
liked one of my prompts and again when
girls like this prompt they get a
similar response because they're
indicating something about themselves in
this case The Prompt she liked was
something that's non-negotiable for me
is integrity I can't be true to someone
who isn't true to her own values so if
she likes that she's saying maybe she's
someone with a little more depth someone
with a little more Integrity herself
someone who wants a little more
connection so I can be a little bit more
genuine but I still want to keep it
light I still want to keep it fun and
funny so here's what I wrote thanks her
name you don't seem so bad yourself and
by the way this is a great thing when a
girl gives you a compliment or even even
likes one of your prompts thanks you're
not so bad yourself great way to start
one of these and say if you have
character and also are a bit of a
character I think we might just get
along fingers crossed love the fingers
crossed emoji and also as a quick note
this having character and being a
character thing that's not even
originally me I stole that from a TV
show or a movie that I watched years and
years and years ago and it's fine to
take lines from other people anyway this
is a great stock line and in response to
this message she liked it she goes o Hal
la la which is like I guess a laughing
sound allinone let's hopefully I am not
too much of both all right so that's a
good response and then if we Zoom
forward to the end of the conversation
and if we Zoom down to the end of the
conversation we can see I say I'm in
City this weekend back in other City
soon perhaps we should meet for a drink
and some Woody banter when I return she
goes that's lovely enjoy that City and
bring some nonchalant from there yes
let's do it I say sounds good my numbers
as what's yours and she responds with
her number so again we have the idea of
plans we have a number things are moving
very well for the fourth and final
example I want to show you the
difference between a good message and a
great message cuz again this girl liked
one of my prompts and it's the same one
a different girl that I've already
broken down the text from in this video
also liked however in this case there
was also something unique in the girl's
profile that was even better so instead
of using my stock response I used a
better one here's what we have so she
liked you should not go out with me if
you're looking for a nice safe account
your parents would approve of and she
actually added to the like safe is
boring which is an even bigger
compliment so I could have definitely
responded to this however in her profile
she had a picture where there was a fire
and she had a gas can it literally
looked like you know if you try and
misinterpret it it looked like she was
maybe pouring gas on the fire so I
thought that's much more interesting so
can I use that and I actually used that
and related it to the prompt answer so
my first message was says the girl
pictured pouring gasoline on a fire
winky face she really liked this message
she responded back touche wasn't really
pouring it it was just perfect camera
timing what makes you not nice and safe
which is great by the way a girl asking
what makes you not nice and safe she's
basically saying like tell me the
attractive things about you I've given
you full permission to brag and it won't
be try hard which is [ __ ] awesome if
we Zoom to the end of this conversation
we have a situation where I didn't even
actually ask for her number and she just
offers it up unsolicited so I said no I
find you surprisingly charming and
eccentric so far I thought you were
implying you were awkward and
apologizing for your cheesy joke LOL she
goes surprisingly what were you
anticipating she sends her number and
says number if you text more often then
you hinge because I hadn't been super
consistent with getting into her
messages quickly so she just offered up
her number and said let's continue this
forward without me even having to ask so
obviously again a very good result so
obviously all these messages worked but
they're four very different messages and
at the start again I did give him my
overall strategy my my step byep for
coming up with them but what do these
messages all have in common in terms of
the content well number one they're all
light they're not super serious they're
not super romantic they're also very
short so they're light short maybe a
little bit funny like maybe witty
sarcastic funny not like hilarious funny
but they're witty sarcastic that's
number one number two they are all
relevant to man to Woman They are all
about are you and I going to like each
other they acknowledge sort of tacitly
that we're on a dating site we're trying
to meet they're not beating around the
bush they're not small talk they're not
hey how was your day that kind of a
thing thirdly they are all about either
the girl's profile I.E some she put out
there or about her choice of my prompt
so they are all not just relevant to a
man- tooman context but they are
personal to the girl they are not
General even if they are copy and paste
they're copy and paste about something
the girl personally did so every time
the girl thinks this is actually about
me this is personal to me and finally in
all four cases they convey me in a
positive frame they convey me as the
prize they convey me as the person being
complimented me as the person being the
selector and deciding whether I like her
these are common threads in all of these
messages that you should have in your
messages as well so I hope you enjoyed
those messages and the lessons from them
by the way I do want to mention if you
enjoy that and you want to see the full
text conversations I did just add all
these full texts with breakdowns of why
I sent each individual text inside my
course online dating Academy so you can
check it out there as well with that
said take these lessons use them get
better results and I'll see you on the
next video take care