EMPTY THOUGHTS

By Zenia Zaheer
 CONTENTS

1. Dancing Alone in the Dark

2. Conversation with Myself
3. Longing for Human Touch
4. Carrying the Burden of Loneliness
5. Broken Mirrors of the Soul
6. Mirror Reflections of Insecurity
7. Cries Unheard in the Night
8. Heartbeats in the Dark
9. Trapped in the Chambers of My Mind
10.The Voice of Anxiety
11.Whispers of Fear
12.Silent Screams
13.Numbness in the Morning
14.Silent Battles
15.Searching for Connection
16.Unanswered Calls
17.Behind Closed Windows
18.Loneliness in Crowds
19.Night Visions of Alone
20.The Long Night
21.Blank Pages of the Soul
22.Dark Clouds Overhead
23.Echoes of Despair
24.Endless Darkness
25.The Weight of Gray
26.Living with Absence
27.Hunger for Comfort
28.Hugs from My Clothes
29.Finding Comfort in Solitude
30.Finding Strength Alone
31.Embracing the Quiet Moments
32.Finding Light in Dark Times
33.Drifting in the Void
34.Fading into the Background
35.The Abyss Within

1
 1. Dancing Alone in the dark

In the quiet of this room, darkness whispers,

Feet tracing paths on a cold, unyielding floor,
Arms reaching out to the void, seeking comfort,
In this silent dance of one, forevermore.

Dimly lit, the room stands still but empty,

Flickering lights cast shapes that dance and sway,
In this space of echoes, whispers, and memories,
Loneliness takes the stage, night after day.

Movements slow, hesitant, and aching,

Each step is a testament to battles that were fought alone,
No soul to catch me, if I stumble,
No warm embrace, just the chill of my clothes.

A marionette with broken strings I falter,

Control slipping in the darkened sea,
My every gesture as invisible cloaks,
A silent plea that no one will see.

Eyes closed, silence screaming,

In my mind, a tune faint and melancholic,
A melody that haunts me to the core,
The past a cruel, unyielding brute.

Paused to catch my breath, I linger,

In the stillness, where thought convene,
Does the darkness see me, I wonder,
In this dance, what does it mean?

2
 2. Conversation with Myself

Questions linger, unanswered, haunting,

Reflections of a mind in disarray,
Why do I feel this weight upon me,
Why does the light seem far away?

Walls, they listen, cold and unfeeling,

As I spill my heart in muted tones,
No one to answer, no one to comfort,
Just the echoes of my lonely sobs.

In this mirror, I see my sadness,

Eyes reflecting a storm within,
No escape from this internal chatter,
A battle I am doomed to win.

The clock ticks on, it sounds mockery,

Of the hours that slip away,
In this room, I sit in darkness,
Conversing with myself, come what may.

A witness to my despair,
For though the world outside is silent,
I am heard, if only by the air,
A loneliness that never heals.

For in the mornings harsh revealing,

I face the truth I try to hide,
These conversations with myself,
Are all that’s left, with none besides.

3
 3. Longing for Human Touch

Hands reach out to the empty air,

Hoping for connection, finding only space,
In the cold and silent darkness,
Longing for a touch, a familiar face.
In the quiet of the night, I ache,
For the warmth of a hug, a gentle embrace,
An arm around my shoulders, a comforting hold,
Someone to lean on, through life’s heavyweight,
In this void of human touch,
The longing grows a silent, endless ache.

4
 4. Carrying the Burden of Loneliness

Each day a mask to hide the pain,

Each night the tears begin to fall,
In a world so full, I’m ever empty,
Loneliness is my constant thrall.
No comfort in the morning light,
No solace in the stars above,
For in this endless, aching silence,
I’ve forgotten how to love.

5
 5. Broken Mirrors of the Soul

I face the mirrors, in the quiet of the night,

shattered glass reflecting shards of me,
each piece a fragment of my soul’s disquiet,
a puzzle of pain and broken memories.

I see myself in pieces, scattered fragments,

a fractured self that I cannot mend,
each reflection tells a different story,
of hopes once bright, and dreams that met their end.

in this gallery of broken mirrors, I linger,

confronting shadows of who I used to be,
the sharp edges cut deep with every glance,
reminders of a fractured reality.

I trace the lines of my fractured self,

hoping to find some semblance of the whole,
but the pieces refuse to fit together,
leaving gaps in the mirrors of my soul.

as the night deepens, shadows grow,

I realize with a heavy sigh,
these broken mirrors will never mend,
a part of me will always cry.

6
 6. Mirror Reflections of Insecurity

Facing the mirror, my heart fills with dread,

Each reflection is a reminder of what I dread,
Loneliness and self-doubt, my constant guide,
In the depths of my insecurity, I abide.

Eyes scan for flaws, for every imperfection,

In this solitary battle, no protection,
The mirror reveals a body I despise,
A canvas of sorrow beneath the disguise.

Every curve, every line, fuels my shame,

In this endless cycle, I'm left to blame,
Loneliness tightens its grip, unkind,
As I confront my reflection, my peace to find.

Though friends offer solace, it's not enough,

In the mirror's gaze, I see only rough,
They cannot fathom the war that I fight,
In the silence of my struggle, every night.

Each glance, each glance, a stab at my core,

In the face of loneliness, I'm left wanting more,
Hatred for my body devours me whole,
In this reality, there's no console.

And so I face the mirror, in solitude's zone,

Mirror reflections of insecurity, I'm left alone,
Loneliness and self-loathing, my lifelong trend,
In the end, it's just me, with no mend.

7
 7. Cries Unheard in the Night

Tears fall in the quiet darkness,

No one to hear, no one to see,
Cries unheard in the empty stillness,
Loneliness is all that’s left for me.
The stars above seem cold and distant,
Moonlight pales against my grief,
Memories replay like haunting shadows,
Offering no comfort, no relief.

Voices once close now feel like echoes,

Fading into the vast unknown,
In this silence, my heart trembles,
Facing the night utterly alone.
Hopes once cherished now feel broken,
Dreams scattered, lost from sight,
Cries unheard in the night's deep silence,
I surrender to the endless night.

8
 8. Heartbeats in the Dark

Heartbeats in the dark, I lie awake,

Loneliness, a silent ache,
The world outside is fast asleep,
While shadows around me slowly creep.
Memories of warmth now fade away,
Echoes of laughter from another day,
I reach out for comfort, finding none,
In this vast emptiness, I’m the only one.
Each heartbeat echoes, a sombre song,
In the quiet night where I don't belong,
Reaching for a hand, but finding none,
In the end, I'm truly alone.

9
 9. Trapped in the Chambers of My Mind

loneliness wraps its arms around me,

a cold embrace that chills my bones,
in the chambers of my mind, I’m captive,
a prisoner to my silent groans.

each step I take feels fraught with peril,

each breath a struggle to maintain,
anxiety tightens its cruel grip,
leaving scars, invisible pain.

I reach for solace in the silence,

but find no comfort, no release,
loneliness deepens, anxiety tightens,
trapping me in endless nights.

yet the darkness holds me captive,

a prisoner of my design,
in this maze of fear and sorrow,
searching for a glimpse of peace.

as the night grows even colder,

and hope begins to fade from sight,
I realize with heavy sorrow,
i'll never escape this endless night.

10
 10. The Voice of Anxiety

A whisper in the quiet moments,

An insistent voice that will not cease,
It murmurs fears and sows confusion,
Shattering any chance of peace.
In the stillness, it grows louder,
Doubts and worries take their toll,
A constant presence, dark and heavy,
Choking the light within my soul.
Each step I take is fraught with shadows,
Every breath feels tight, constrained,
The voice of anxiety is ever-present,
Turning sunshine into rain.
Though I seek solace in the silence,
And long for moments free of fright,
The voice of anxiety never falters,
Leaving me lost in endless nights.

11. Whispers of Fear

11
Amidst laughter's jovial facade,
Whispers of fear assail my soul,
Anxiety's grip tightens unseen,
Within the crowd, I feel less whole.

Voices blend into a deafening hum,

Yet mine remains stifled, unheard,
Lost amid bustling throngs,
My silent plea was lost in the words.

The weight of expectation presses down,

Each smile a mask, each laugh a lie,
Anxiety's presence ever looming,
Beneath the surface, I silently cry.

Longing for solace amidst the chaos,

Yearning to break free from the crowd's veneer,
But in the whispers of fears, I find no escape,
Anxiety's grip is relentless and severe.

12
 12. Silent Screams

In the dead of night, when all is still,

Visions of shadows, dark and chill,
They stand before me, silent and stark,
Their presence looming, leaving a mark.

Black tendrils reach out, icy and cold,

Dragging me deeper, their grip takes hold,
Silent screams echo in the void,
As I'm pulled further, my fears deploy.

I struggle against the weight of despair,

But the shadows linger, they do not care,
Their whispers haunting, their touch unkind,
Leaving me trapped in the depths of my mind.

No one hears my silent screams,

Lost in the darkness of my dreams,
I fight against the shadows' might,
But they drag me deeper into the night.

13
 13. Numbness in the Morning

Awakening to the dawn's soft light,

But inside, I'm shrouded in endless night,
Numbness fills the space where I lay,
Depression's grip, with each passing day.

Sunlight filters through the blinds,

Yet in my soul, no warmth it finds,
A heaviness weighs upon my chest,
As I face another day, bereft of zest.

Each morning, a battle to face the sun,

But inside, the darkness has already won,
Emptiness lingers as I rise from bed,
A sense of dread filled me with lead.

Friends and family offer words of cheer,

But in the haze of numbness, I cannot hear,
Their voices fade into the background,
As I struggle to find solid ground.

The morning passes in a blur,

Each moment tainted by the sepulchral stir,
Numbness wraps around me like a shroud,
As I navigate a world in which I'm cowed.

And as the day draws to its close,

I realize I've been battling unseen foes,
Numbness in the morning, a relentless plight,
Leaving me trapped in eternal night.

14
 14. Silent Battles

Each day a war, unseen, unfought,

Silent battles within, all for nought,
Smiles mask the pain, a fragile guise,
Hiding the tears that blur my eyes.

Loneliness whispers in the quiet night,

Hope fades slowly, out of sight,
Strength wanes with each passing breath,
Silent battles leave a lingering depth.

15
 15. Searching for Connection

In the quiet of the night, I search,

For a connection, a touch, a spark,
But loneliness wraps around me tightly.
A heavy cloak in the endless dark.

Voices drift by, distant and cold,

Faces pass, but none truly see,
In this sea of strangers, I'm adrift,
Yearning for someone to set me free.

I reach out, but only to find emptiness,

Echoes of laughter, whispers of despair,
Each attempt at a connection falls short,
Leaving me standard in solitaire.

Memories haunt me, of days gone by,

Of warmth and laughter, of love so true,
But now I wander this lonely path,
Searching for someone to pull me through.

In the depths of loneliness, I find,

A longing that consumes my soul,
For a connection, a touch, a glimmer of hope,
To fill the void and make me whole.

But as the night stretches on, endless and bleak,

I realize that connection may never be found,
And so I wander, lost in the shadows,
In this lonely world, endlessly bound.

16
 16. Unanswered Call

In the silence of the night, I wait,

For a voice to break the stillness, for a call to alleviate,
But the echoes of my loneliness reverberate,
Unanswered calls, like whispers lost in fate.

Each ring is a plea, a desperate cry,

Longing for connection, for someone to approach,
But the phone remains silent, no response, no reply,
Leaving me stranded in the darkness, under the sky.

I listen to the dial tone, a lonely refrain,

A symphony of solitude, a melancholy strain,
Each unanswered call, a reminder of the pain,
Of a heart left longing, in vain.

In the silence of the night, I yearn,

For the sound of a familiar voice, for the comfort I discern,
But the phone remains silent, and my loneliness churns,
Unanswered calls are a testament to the lessons I learn.

Alone in the darkness, I face the night,

Longing for connection, for a glimmer of light,
But the unanswered calls echo, a solemn plight,
Leaving me to wander, in the depths of my plight.

17
 17. Behind Closed Windows

Behind closed windows, I watch life pass by,

A silent observer of the world outside,
Faces flicker by, like shadows in the night,
Each glance is a reminder of the loneliness inside.

Laughter drifts on the breeze, a distant melody,

Echoes of joy that never reach my ears,
I long to join the dance, to feel the warmth,
But behind closed windows, I'm trapped in my fears.

Through the glass, I see moments of connection,

Hands clasped, smiles shared, love's gentle touch,
Yet I remain on the outside, looking in,
A solitary figure, yearning for such.

Behind closed windows, time stands still,

As life's vibrant tapestry unfurls beyond my reach,
I'm left to ponder the what-ifs and could-have-been,
In the solitude of my silent speech.

Each passing day is a silent lament,

For the life I wish I could live,
But behind closed windows, I remain,
A spectator to the world, unable to forgive.

18
 18. Loneliness in Crowds

Surrounded by faces, yet feeling unseen,

Lost in the noise, in the spaces between,
A sea of people, laughter all around,
But loneliness echoes, a haunting sound.

Eyes that glance, but never truly see,

In a crowd full of life, there's no one for me,
Conversations swirl, but I'm not a part,
Loneliness settles deep in my heart.

Smiles and greetings, they pass me by,

In the midst of it all, I silently cry,
Yearning for connection, a genuine touch,
But in this crowd, I'm asking too much.

Each voice is a reminder of the silence I keep,

Each laugh is a reminder of the nights I weep,
Loneliness in crowds, a bitter paradox,
Surrounded by people, but forever locked.

In the heart of the hustle, I stand alone,

An island of sorrow, a heart made of stone,
Searching for a face, a kindred soul,
But in the crowd's chaos, there's an empty hole.

Loneliness in crowds, a tear unseen,

Lost in the madness, caught in between,
Wishing for someone to break through the noise,
To hear my silence, to understand my voice.

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 19. Night Visions of Alone

In the stillness of the night, I lie awake,

Night visions of alone, fears I can't shake,
Shadows stretch long on the walls,
Whispering secrets, echoing calls.

The moon casts its pale, indifferent light,

Illuminating the solitude of night,
Each tick of the clock, a lonely chime,
Marking the passage of endless time.

Memories replay in the darkened room,

Phantoms of joy, now shrouded in gloom,
Faces once loved now fade away,
Leaving only shadows where they used to stay.

The silence is heavy, thick with despair,

In this quiet void, there's no one there,
Just the echo of my heartbeat, slow and low,
A reminder of the loneliness I know.

Outside, the world is lost in sleep,

But here in my darkness, I silently weep,
Night visions of alone, a sorrowful art,
Etched in the silence, tearing apart.

I reach for a hope that's never in sight,

Longing for dawn to bring some light,
But as the darkness continues to grow,
I realize that alone is all I'll ever know.

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 20. The Long Night

The long night stretches, endless and deep,

Where sleep is elusive, and rest doesn't keep,
Tossing and turning, with thoughts that won't cease,
In the quiet darkness, I search for peace.

Pillows offer no comfort, blankets no warmth,

As I lie awake, feeling the storm,
Eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling,
In the stillness, grappling with this feeling.

Memories and worries swirl in my mind,

In the long night, solace is hard to find,
The clock ticks slowly, minutes feel like days,
In the depths of despair, I'm trapped in a haze.

Morning light arrives, but brings no relief,

Another day begins with the same old grief,
In the long night, sleep is but a dream,
A fleeting hope was lost in a silent scream.

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 21. Blank Pages of the Soul

Amidst the shadows, I find my abode,

Where darkness looms and spirits erode,
Pages of my soul, stark and bare,
A canvas of emptiness, a silent prayer.

Each day unfolds with burdens untold,

Navigating a world so bitterly cold,
In the depths of despair, I silently cry,
Trapped in a void I cannot defy.

The pages remain blank, devoid of light,

No solace found, no end in sight,
Just an endless expanse, a vacant space,
As I navigate this desolate place.

Friends offer comfort, but their words fall short,

In the depths of depression, I'm left to contort,
Their voices fade, a distant echo,
As I'm consumed by this endless sorrow.

And so I drift, lost in my role,

Among the blank pages of my soul,
Hoping for an end to this relentless pain,
Yet finding only more of the same.

22
 22. Dark Clouds Overhead

Dark clouds overhead, they never part,

A shadow that lingers, heavy on my heart,
Each step feels like a weary tread,
In a world where light seems long dead.

Smiles are fleeting, hard to maintain,

Underneath, there’s only pain,
In moments of joy, they quickly flee,
Leaving behind just the weight of me.

Voices around me, they fade away,

In the silence, I’m left to sway,
Caught in the storm of my mind,
Seeking peace I cannot find.

Dark clouds overhead, a constant dread,

Hopes and dreams feel thinly spread,
In this endless Gray, I’m lost, alone,
Searching for a place I’ve never known.

23
 23. Echoes of Despair

Quiet moments filled with despair,

Whispers of sadness permeate the air,
Each day is a struggle, a heavyweight,
Caught in a cycle I can't abate.

Shadows linger, refusing to fade,

Hope feels distant, memories frayed,
Every smile is a fragile mask,
Hiding the pain is a daunting task.

The world moves on, vibrant and bright,

While I’m trapped in eternal night,
Voices of comfort, they drift away,
In this darkness, I'm led astray.

Echoes of despair, relentless and near,

Yearning for peace that's never here,
In the end, I'm left to bear,
The endless echoes of despair.

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 24. Endless Darkness

Night falls and anxiety stirs,

A silent storm that no one observes,
Endless darkness wraps around,
In this quiet, my fears resound.
Thoughts spiral, a relentless tide,
No refuge where I can hide,
My heart races with every doubt,
In the stillness, I’m worn out.

Breathing feels like a heavy task,

Searching for peace behind a mask,
Endless darkness, my constant plight,
As anxiety whispers through the night.
Each worry is a heavyweight,
Keeping sleep and calm at bay,
In the grip of endless darkness,
I fight a battle I can't allay.

25
 25. The Weight of Gray

Morning light creeps in, but fails to warm,

The weight of Gray, a relentless storm,
Blankets my mind, a suffocating shroud,
In the haze of sadness, I’m forever bowed.

Days blend, an unending blur,

Each moment heavy, memories a slur,
The world outside, vibrant and bright,
Contrasts starkly with my internal night.

Conversations drift, their meanings lost,

Every smile, every laugh, comes at a cost,
Pretending to be present, a constant charade,
While inside, the colors continue to fade.

Friends offer words, their concern sincere,

But the weight of Gray is all I hear,
Their voices muted, distant, far away,
As I struggle through the monochrome day.

Hope feels like a distant, forgotten dream,

In this muted landscape, I silently scream,
Yearning for relief, a break from this pain,
But all I find is the persistent rain.

The weight of Gray, a companion unkind,

Sinks its claws deep into my mind,
And as the days pass, they all feel the same,
An endless journey in a sorrowful frame.

Night falls, bringing no solace, no peace,

Just more time for the sadness to increase,
In this endless cycle, I’m forever confined,
By the weight of Gray, I'm defined.

26
 26. Living with Absence

Days pass by in muted tones,

Night are filled with silent cries,
Living with your absence, heavy,
Tears unshed, unseen goodbyes.
Hope fades with the setting sun,
Loneliness my constant friend,
In this life, your absence lingers,
A sorrow that will never end.

27
 27. Hunger for Comfort

In the quiet of the night, hunger grips,

Not for food, but for solace, it slips,
Every bite, a battle, each meal, a fight,
Loneliness lingers, in the dimming light.

Seeking comfort in the depths of my plate,

But the emptiness within, won't abate,
Each morsel swallowed, a fleeting release,
Yet the hunger for comfort does not cease.

In the mirror's reflection, I see a war,

A body I despise, a soul left sore,
Every curve, every line, breeds shame,
In this lonely struggle, I bear the blame.

Pushing away plates, guilt stains my soul,

In my silent room, loneliness takes its toll,
For every bite refused, the hunger swells,
A reality every person who feels tells.

Left with an empty shell in the end,

In the quiet of the night, my cries were unheard,
Hunger for comfort, my constant, bitter word.

28
 28.Hugs from My Clothes

Alone in my room, silence reigns,

Hugs from my clothes, whispers of pain,
Fabric embraces, empty and cold,
In their folds, my sorrows are told.

Each garment holds memories dear,

Of happier times, now distant and clear,
But as I cling to their worn embrace,
I find no solace in this lonely space.

Night falls, and shadows grow tall,

Hugs from my clothes, a silent call,
But in their arms, I'm still alone,
Aching for warmth I've never known.

For fabric can't offer what I seek,

In the quiet, I'm weak,
Loneliness lingers, a constant sorrow,
Even in the arms of clothes, no tomorrow.

29
 29. Finding Comfort in Solitude

The world outside, a distant hum,

Fades away, leaving me still,
In solitude, I mend my heart,
Though empty, it begins to fill.

Yet as the silence wraps around,

A gentle cloak, a friend in the night,
I find a bittersweet peace,
In solitude’s soft, lonely light.

For in this quiet, I am whole,

Though tears may fall, unseen, uncried,
Finding comfort in my solitude,
While knowing it's where I’ll always hide.

30
 30. Finding Strength Alone

In the quiet moments, I search for might,

Finding strength alone, in the dead of night,
Each breath a struggle, each step a test,
In this solitude, I seek some rest.
The world outside moves on, unaware,
Of the battles I face, the burdens I bear,
Alone in the silence, I muster my will,
Climbing a mountain, standing still.
Hopes fade with each passing day,
Strength is found, but slips away,
In the end, I face the truth unknown,
Sometimes, even strength leaves you alone.

31
 31. Embracing the Quiet Moments

The hush of dawn brings fragile solace,

Moments where silence speaks the truth,
Echoes of laughter now long faded,
Memories of a distant youth.

Friends and loved ones drifted slowly,

Like leaves upon an autumn breeze,
Their absence fills these quiet moments,
A sorrow that will never ease.

In the stillness, I embrace the silence,

A lonely heart with whispers rife,
For in these quiet, empty moments,
I face the solitude of life.

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 32. Finding Light in Dark Times

In the depths of night, I search for light,

But shadows cling and dreams take flight,
Each glimmer fades, leaving me blind,
In dark times, hope is hard to find.

33
 33. Drifting in the Void

Lost in a sea where light doesn’t reach,

Drifting in the void, no comfort, no speech,
Every day feels like a hollow drift,
In a world where joy is a fleeting gift.

Shadows encircle, pulling me down,

In this deep void, I silently drown,
Smiles are distant, far out of sight,
Wrapped in the sorrow of endless night.

Voices call out, but they fade away,

In the emptiness, I'm led astray,
No anchor to hold, no ground to find,
Just the darkness that clouds my mind.

Drifting in the void, hope seems so thin,

Trapped in the silence, nowhere to begin,
In the end, I’m lost, no light deployed,
Forever drifting in the void.

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 34. Fading into the Background

Fading slowly, I stand alone,

Darkness grips, chills to the bone,
Figures in black pull me down,
In the background, I silently drown.
Colors dim, voices fade,
Each day blends into a shade,
Lost in shadows, unseen, unfound,
Fading into the background.

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 35. The Abyss Within

Deep inside, an abyss yawns wide,

A cavern of darkness where fears reside,
Echoes of sorrow, shadows of pain,
In the abyss within, I remain.

Hope feels distant, light fades to black,

Lost in the depths, there's no turning back,
Each step forward pulls me further down,
Into the abyss where I silently drown.

No comfort, no solace, just endless nights,

The abyss within swallows all light,
In this hollow space, I am left to fall,
The abyss within consumes everything.

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