EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Aristotles
Aristotles challenge:
challenge:
Anyone
Anyonecan
canbecome
becomeangry
angrythat
thatisiseasy.
easy.
But
Butto
tobe
beangry
angrywith
withthe
theright
rightperson,
person,to
tothe
the
right
rightdegree,
degree,at
atthe
theright
righttime,
time,for
forthe
theright
right
purpose,
purpose,and
andininthe
theright
rightway
waythis
thisisisnot
noteasy
easy
Aristotle,
Aristotle,the
theNichomachean
NichomacheanEthics
Ethics
Mike Tysons Three-Million-Dollar Emotional Hijack
We
Weare
arebeing
beingjudged
judgedby
byaanew
newyardstick:
yardstick:
not
notjust
justhow
howsmart
smartwe
weare,
are,or
orby
byour
our
training
trainingand
andexpertise,
expertise,but
butalso
alsoby
byhow
howwell
wellwe
we
handle
handleourselves
ourselvesand
andeach
eachother
other
----Daniel
DanielGoleman,
Goleman,
Working
WorkingWith
WithEmotional
EmotionalIntelligence,
Intelligence,1998
1998
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence refers to the capacity for
recognizing our own feelings and those of others,
for motivating ourselves, and managing emotions
well in ourselves and our relationships.
WHAT
WHAT PROBLEMS
PROBLEMS AN
AN INDIVIDUAL
INDIVIDUAL
MAY
MAYFACE
FACE WHILE
WHILE HAVING
HAVING LOW
LOW EI?
EI?
Students
StudentsResponses
Responses
In
Intodays
todaysworking
workingenvironment
environmentaagood
goodlevel
levelof
of
technical
technicalknowledge
knowledge and
andintellectual
intellectualability
abilityisistaken
taken
for
forgranted.
granted.Emotional
Emotionalintelligence
intelligenceisisbecoming
becomingthe
the
differentiator
differentiatorfor
forgrowing
growingand
andthriving.
thriving.
Marshmallow Experiment Stanford
Imagine you are four years old and
someone makes the following
proposal..
Marshmallows in front of you in a plate.
If you will wait until I come, you can have two
marshmallows.
If you cant wait until then, you can have only
one, right now
Marshmallow Experiment Stanford
12 to 14 years later, those who had resisted
were more
Self assertive, able to cope with frustrations
Self reliant and confident, trustworthy
Higher scores on their SAT tests
Golemans Emotional Competence
Framework
Personal Competence: these
competencies determine how we
manage ourselves
Self-Awareness
Self-Management
Social Competence: these competencies
determine how we handle relationships
Social Awareness
Relationship Management
The Conceptual framework
Self-Awareness: cluster concerns knowing one's internal
states, preferences, resources, and intuitions.
Self-Management: cluster refers to managing ones'
internal states, impulses, and resources.
Social Awareness: cluster refers to how people handle
relationships and awareness of others feelings, needs,
and concerns.
Relationship Management: cluster concerns the skill or
adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others
(1) Self Awareness:
Knowing ones internal states, preferences, resources & intuitions
Emotional Awareness: Recognizing Ones Emotions
and Their Effects
Accurate Self-assessment: Knowing Ones Inner
Resources, Abilities, and Limits
Self-Confidence: A Strong Sense of Ones SelfWorth and Capabilities
(1) Developing Self Awareness:
Becoming Aware of what triggers reactions in you.
Do you know why? Students Responses.
Know your strengths and weaknesses
Seek feedback with observations from people you
feel comfortable with
(2) Self Management
Managing ones internal states, impulses and resources
.
Emotional self-control: keeping disruptive emotions and
impulses in check
Adaptability: flexibility in handling change
Achievement orientation: striving to meet or exceed a
standard of excellence
Positive outlook: persistence in pursuing goals despite
obstacles and setbacks
Developing Self Management
.
Count to ten, take deep breath.
Get involved in exercise, taking time out to relax, yoga,
meditation.
Better planning
Get curious, not furious- Watch what you say especially when
frustrated or annoyed. Reframe negative emotions into
curiosity - " ... this makes absolutely no sense to me" can be
replaced with, "Do you see something in this that I must be
missing
Developing Self Management (Contd.)
Set Clear Goals
Take feedback from others
Find ways to be more Committed
List positives in a worrisome situation
What may be the Impact of Low Self
Management on an Individual???
Students Responses..
If your actions inspire others to dream
more, learn more, do more and become
more, you are a leader.
John Quincy Adams (1767-1848)
sixth President of the United States
(3) Social Awareness
Awareness of others feelings, needs and concerns
Empathy: sensing others' feelings and
perspectives, and taking an active interest in their
concerns
Organizational Awareness: reading a groups
emotional currents and power relationships
Developing Social Awareness
Think about your interactions with others
Listen more, Speak less
Asking questions
Giving Feedback to others
Pay attention to body language (self and others)
Developing Social Awareness
Rahul felt anxious, and became a bit
stressed when he thought about all the work
he needed to do. When his supervisor
brought him an additional project, he felt
____. (Select the best choice.)
a) Overwhelmed
b) Depressed
c) Ashamed
d) Self Conscious
e) Jittery
(4) Relationship Management
Adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others
Influence: having positive impact on others
Inspirational leadership: inspiring and guiding
individuals and groups
Coach and mentor: taking an active interest in
others development needs and bolstering their
abilities
Conflict management: negotiating and resolving
conflict
Teamwork: working with others toward a shared
goal
Developing Relationship Management
Demonstrating Empathy
Try to know others expectations
Elicit pride in others Reason for working
together
Talk to others about their aspirations, and
strengths
Bringing others into positive state by being
social with them, discussing purpose, and their
hopes
Which option from the above list appeals you
more and Why???
Students Responses
Developing Relationship Management
Remember that emotions are contagious
A dominant person's emotions (negative or
positive) always influences others. Leaders
should be careful to show only those emotions,
which they want to see in others
Measuring Your Emotional Intelligence
Check Yourself on Various Competencies
Take Others feedback on these
Competencies
Take some Standardized EI Tests
Measuring Your Emotional Intelligence through Self and Others
Feedback
Rate yourself on the following item on a 0-10 scale:
I listen attentively to understand others.
0----1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10
0-Strongly Disagree
10-Strongly Agree
Request 3-6 persons (who know you well) to rate you
honestly..Average their responses
Now see the difference between Your and Others Average
Rating
If difference is high, it means you need to improve on this.
Do this for other competencies as well.
Some Tips Students can use to control their emotions
Take 30 deep belly-breaths
Get good knowledge about EI
Redirect your mind to think something different
Eat your meals
Ask yourself: is this useful?
Observe the feeling
Stay in the present
Find good ways to relax
Strategies Promoting for Emotional Intelligence
Taking the time for mindfulness
Recognizing and naming emotions
Understanding the causes of feelings
Differentiating between emotion and the need to take action
Preventing depression through learned optimism
Managing anger through learned behavior or distraction techniques
Listening for the lessons of feelings
Using gut feelings in decision making
Developing listening skills
Any decision to shift your set point on any of these
emotional intelligence competencies should be based on
thoughtful introspection about whether it is keeping you
from being the person you wish to be and living the life you
aspire to.
This, of course, requires Awareness, something that, when
it comes to understanding how we respond to emotional
challenges, is in short supply.
Richard j. Davidson
Focus on breath (Normal Breathe In- Breathe Out) each
day for a few minutes, seems the easiest and best way to
enhance Emotional Intelligence!!!
Lets practice for 1-2 minutes.
