What Are Emotions?
Made up of four components:
Physiological Feelings
Nonverbal Reactions
Cognitive Interpretations
Verbal Expressions
Physiological Feelings
Strong Emotions trigger bodily
changes
Increased heart rate
Rise in BP
Slowing of digestion
Physiological messages can offer
clues to your emotions once you
become aware of them
Nonverbal Reactions
Not all physical changes
accompany emotions
Easy to tell when one experiences
a strong emotion, but hard to
determine the exact emotion being
conveyed
Facial expressions mimic feelings
Cognitive
Interpretations
Our minds play an important role in
determining how we feel
What we think determines our
particular feeling.
Verbal Expressions
We cannot always rely on
perceptiveness to make sure the
message is conveyed
appropriately
Emotional intelligence
Types of Emotions
Emotional Intelligence
The ability to recognize which
feelings are appropriate in which
situations and the skill to
communicate those feelings
effectively.
Typical Emotions
Anger
Anxiety
Content
Disgust
Fear
Gratitude
Guilt
Typical Emotions
Happiness
Jealousy
Joy
Pleasure
Relief
Sadness
Surprise
Influences on Emotion
Major Influences
Personality
Culture
Biological Sex and Gender
Power
Social Conventions
Social Roles
Fear of Disclosure
Emotional Contagion
Personality
Extroverted vs. Introverted
Neurotic vs. Non-neurotic
Culture
Universal expression of emotions
happiness
sadness
surprise
anger
disgust
fear
Situational Differences
Degree of Expression Differences
Culture Continued...
Ethnicity
Blacks
Asians
Whites
Individualism vs. Collectivism
external display
internal experience
Data from study
Biological Sex and
Gender
Women
more attuned
better memories of emotional images
more intense reactions
larger range of emotions
Men
Reveal positive emotions (NOT
negative ones)
More likely to disclose to women
Power
The less powerful individual is
more aware of emotions of the
more powerful person
Intimidation factor
Social Conventions
direct expression of emotions
ex. United States
indirect expression of emotions
ex. Japan
Individualism-Collectivism
impacts??
Social Roles
Emotional usage is decreased due
to acceptable social roles.
One loses the ability to show
certain emotions when they are
continually repressed.
Fear of Self-Disclosure
Example: It’s hard for a boss to
admit when he/she is wrong
Those that disclose can be
misunderstood
Affection = romantic invitation
Uncertainty = weakness
Honesty can cause discomfort
Honesty can be used against you
Emotional Contagion
Definition: When one becomes
influenced by the emotions of
others around them.
Varying degrees
Fast process with no verbal
communication needed.
Others…
EVERYTHING influences emotion!!
Religion, individual personal
experiences etc.
Regardless of influences on
emotions, there are healthy and
unhealthy ways to express them.
The next section looks into the
guidelines of healthy emotional
expressions.
Guidelines for
Expressing Emotions
Advice and Techniques for
Effective Emotional
Expression
Effects of Emotional
Expression
Emotional expression has a
tremendous effect on health and
well-being.
Physiological effects
Relational effects
Physiological Effects
Emotional suppression increases risk of
physical problems such as, cancer,
asthma, heart disease (DeAngelis, 1992).
Emotional inhibition also causes a
increased risk for psychological problems,
such as, anxiety or depression (Krause et
al., 2003).
Overly aggressive expression can lead to
high blood pressure and increased stress
(Mayne, 1993).
A healthy balance is key.
Relational Effects
Pent-up emotions are harder to control
and more likely to be expressed
violently.
Lack of expression leads to
relationship stagnation.
Healthy emotional expression
increases intimacy, promotes
relationship growth, and allows
problems to be fixed before they
escalate.
Steps to Healthy
Emotional Expression
Recognize Your Feelings.
Choose the Best Language.
Share Multiple Feelings.
Recognize the Difference Between
Feeling and Acting.
Accept Responsibility for Your
Feelings.
Choose the Best Time and Place.
Recognize Your
Feelings
Pay attention to your body.
Know your “emotional triggers”.
Don’t underestimate the importance of
feelings.
Watch your gestures.
Choose the Best
Language
“Wanting” isn’t the same thing as “feeling”.
Don’t rely on common adjectives.
Be specific.
Use metaphors or examples.
State the cause of the emotion when
possible.
Share Multiple Feelings
Feelings are all related.
Same event can cause many
different emotions.
Express as many emotions as
possible.
Don’t be afraid to elaborate.
Recognize the
Difference Between
Feeling and Acting
Don’t try to be a hero.
Don’t pretend to feel something you don’t.
Simply acting on feelings does not always
alleviate them.
Feelings do not always have to lead to
action.
Accept Responsibility for
Your Feelings
Don’t blame others for your
feelings in your expression, even if
they are the cause.
Don’t try to hide or cover up your
feelings to please someone else.
Choose the Best Time
and Place
Give yourself some time to prepare.
Plan out what you are going to say;
write it down if you like.
Don’t have an emotional discussion
when you are tired, sick, or under
severe stress.
Devote the necessary time.
Make sure the other person is
prepared to listen.
When Not to Express
Emotions
If you are sure you will have
difficulty controlling your emotions.
If the other person is unable to
listen at that moment.
If the consequences might be
worse than dealing with the
emotions (authority figure).
Look for an indirect route.
Enlist a third party or mediator.
Expressing Positive
Emotions
Most people associate emotional
expression with problems or difficulties.
Happiness is also an emotion.
Feel free to express happiness,
confidence, success and contentment.
Praise and complement your significant
other when you are proud of them.
Surround yourself with people who will
be happy for you.
Must be aware of the time and place!
Summary
Emotional expression is healthy and
necessary for good relationships.
Know how you feel and why you feel
it.
Express your emotions calmly and
specifically.
“Acting out” isn’t necessary.
Choose your time and place carefully.
Don’t be afraid to express positive
emotions!
It is true that healthy emotional
expression can be more difficult for
certain emotions
The next section involves a wide
range of feelings that affect our
communication skills.
Managing Difficult
Emotions
Facilitative and
Debilitative Emotions
Facilitative Emotions- emotions
that contribute to effective
functioning
Debilitative Emotions- emotions
that hinder or prevent effective
performance
Characteristics of
Debilitative Emotions
Intensity
Duration
Irrational Thoughts That
Can Lead to Debilitative
Emotions
Fallacy of Perfection- A
communicator should handle all
situations well
Very inspiring, but unrealistic
Irrational Thoughts That
Can Lead to Debilitative
Emotions
Fallacy of Approval- A
communicator has to constantly
obtain everyone’s approval
Communicator sacrifices their own
principles and/or happiness
Irrational Thoughts That
Can Lead to Debilitative
Emotions
Fallacy of Should- A communicator
doesn’t distinguish between what
is and what should be
Communicator often wants others
to behave differently
Irrational Thoughts That
Can Lead to Debilitative
Emotions
Fallacy of Overgeneralization- A
communicator doesn’t distinguish
between what is and what should
be
Communicator often wants others
to behave differently
Irrational Thoughts That
Can Lead to Debilitative
Emotions
Fallacy of Causation- A
communicator feels they shouldn’t
do anything to hurt or
inconvenience others
Often communicator’s needs are
overlooked
Irrational Thoughts That
Can Lead to Debilitative
Emotions
Fallacy of Helplessness- Forces
beyond a communicators control
determine their satisfaction
Causes the communicator to feel
like a victim
Irrational Thoughts That
Can Lead to Debilitative
Emotions
Fallacy of Catastrophic
Expectations- A communicator
believes if something bad can
happen, it will
Causes ruminations of thoughts
and feelings
How to Minimize
Debilitative Emotions
Monitor your emotional reactions
Note activating/triggering events
Specific people
Specific events
Dispute irrational events
Why they are irrational events
Why your have them
References
Adler, R.B., Rosenfeld, L.B., & Proctor, R.F. (2004).
Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal
Communication (9th ed.). New York: Oxford University
Press.
DeAngelis, T. (1992). Illness linked with repressive style
of coping. APA Monitor, pp. 14-15.
Krause, E.D., Mendelson, T. & Lynch, T.R. (2003).
Childhood emotional invalidation and adult
psychological distress: The mediating role of emotional
inhibition. Child Abuse and Neglect, 27(2), p 199-214.
Mayne, T.J. (1999). Negative affect and health: The
importance of being earnest. Cognition and Emotion,
13(5), pp. 201-236.
