EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE:
Managing Me
Motivating Me
Managing Others
Psychologist,
Bruce Christopher
www.bcseminars.com
I wonder
what is the
real purpose of
these feelings
I am feeling?
Why don’t people talk about their
Emotions at work?
What is an Emotion and Why am I so Emotional?
The anatomy of an emotion
Once upon a time, I was walking in the
forest. . . And I came upon a Big, Bad,
-----
or
An Emotion, then, is really a
Signal to take:
ACTION!
_____________________
_____________________
That’s why it’s called an
E--Motion
So, what this really means is. . .
“We are saber-toothed tigers
with cell phones.”
Our Emotions Sometime get the
Best of us. . .but how can we handle
Them?
The Hardest One of All. . .
Get a Grip on Anger
1. Postponing
2. Finding the Triggers
3. Mixing Pleasantness with Anger –
The Oil & Water Effect
4. Re-labeling your Anger --
The Iceberg Principle
5. Re-aligning your Expectations –
The 999 Rule
Expectations
Reality
5c Really
Really
Really
999
Really
RULE Really
IMPORTANT
99.9%
All
All
All Behavior
Behavior
Behavior is is
is Reasonable.
Reasonable.
Reason-Enabled.
All Behavior is Reason-Enabled.
The third step
To becoming
A super-star:
What does a marshmallow have to do
with success?
Introducing: Your Reticular Activating
System!
The Goal The Temptation Train your
Brain
Buy a new The Mall of Visualize:
house America The kitchen
Living room
Entertaining
R.O.I
Remember, your brain maximizes Pleasure
And minimizes Pain. . .
Through visualization, make it more PAINFUL
to not achieve your goal than it is to give into
the temptation!
How good are you at
“Reading Other People”?
What you are doing is shouting
So loud at me, that I can’t hear
What you are saying!
WORDS
NON-
VERBALS TONE
A Quick Quiz on Empathy: Find the Empathy-Response
1. “I remember when I lost my cat too. We couldn’t find her for days.
I was just so upset.”
2. “Don’t worry, things aren’t so bad. After all, behind every cloud is
a silver lining.”
3. “Oh you poor thing! I am sooooo sorry this happened to you!
Look, I brought you some hot dish. Now you just eat up and
you’ll feel better.”
4. “That waiter was so mean to you. Why if I were you, I’d complain
to the manager. You shouldn’t let people walk all over you!”
5. “So, you’re feeling exhausted because of your hard day at work,
right?”
Emotions are always. . .
1. P_______
roject The art of mirroring:
“We must be the change
we wish to see.”
Ghandi
2. R_______
eflect The art of Empathy:
“Reflecting back with
Understanding”
3. Perspect
_________ The art of providing
alternative perspectives
Or, the Big Picture:
“Another way to look at
this might be. . .”
The art of facilitating
4. S_________
elect Choices and creative-
Problem-solving:
“What are some other
Ideas we can think of. . .”
Now playing, Bruce is
At Circuit City!
How could Bruce have Emotionally
Managed himself more effectively?
How could the manager have
Emotionally Managed Bruce more
effectively?
People Show up for you, according to
your perceptions of them. . .
The Power of the Perception &
The Power of the Message:
The impact of a label on self-esteem
and performance.
1. What did you see from the “UP” group?
2. What did you see from the “DOWN” group?
3. How does the teacher get the students to
believe her?
