Hello, and welcome to Already in Progress! Did you know that if the point of the game
were to kill off all oneโ€™s Sims, I would be world champion? I know this is true and not
just idle boasting or wishful thinking because the game told me so. And the game would
never lie. Right?
When I am not busy being the hypothetical world champion of Sim-killing, I am busy
documenting the lives of the residents of Sandersville. Letโ€™s see how well Iโ€™ve been
doing at that, shall we? We can start at the Most Logical Brotherhood of the Telescope,
where the plot (such as it is) is Already in Progressโ€ฆ
BARTHOLOMEW, WHO IS IN BLUE AND HAS A SHAVED HEAD TO SHOW
THAT HE IS A FULL BROTHER, NOT JUST A NOVICE LIKE MATTHIAS AND
TYRONE: So whereโ€™s the new guy?
MATTHIAS: Using the energizer. Heโ€™ll be out in a minute.
BARTHOLOMEW: He needs that thing every day, doesnโ€™t he?
MATTHIAS: He really doesnโ€™t like making Sir Bricks-A-Lots.
BARTHOLOMEW: Who does?
(cue flashback sound effects)
TYRONE: Howโ€™s your level?
MATTHIAS: Middling green. Howโ€™s yours?
TYRONE: Low green. Date?
MATTHIAS: Sure, why not?
TYRONE: So what are you up for? Chat, Joke, couple games of Red Hands, maybe a
Friendly Hug?
MATTHIAS: Actually, I was thinking (whispers)
TYRONE: Monks are allowed to do that?
MATTHIAS: We are NOT MONKS, okay? And the whole point of the Brotherhood is to
get pregnant โ€“ of course we arenโ€™t celibate!
TIMOTHY: So I think Iโ€™ve found a publisher!
SARAH JANE: For your thesis?
TIMOTHY: Yes, I reworked it into a book and I think it will do really well.
SARAH JANE: Whatโ€™s it called again?
TIMOTHY: Logical Positivism and the Existential Ontology Movement: Influences in
Modal Logic and Naturalism. By Timothy Miller. I guess.
SARAH JANE: Youโ€™re not sure of the title? Or of your name?
TIMOTHY: Iโ€™m not sure how to sign it. I donโ€™t actually like โ€œTimothy,โ€ and โ€œTimmyโ€ is
so childish. But โ€œTim Millerโ€ sounds like someone youโ€™d go to the game with, not a
philosopher. And I donโ€™t like the combination โ€œT. A.โ€ I was thinking of โ€œT. Aaron
Miller,โ€ maybe, but itโ€™s just โ€“ lacking somethingโ€ฆ
SARAH JANE: How about โ€œT. Aaron Littledragonโ€? That sounds nice.
TIMOTHY: It does. (thoughtfully) โ€œLogical Positivism and the Existential Ontology
Movement: Influences in Modal Logic and Naturalism, by T. Aaron Littledragon.โ€ But
my nameโ€™s not โ€œLittledragon.โ€
SARAH JANE: Mine is. Iโ€™d be willing to share.
And so Timothy Miller became Timothy Littledragon.
JON: Hey, Timmy. (fierce hug) Thanks for taking care of my daughter.
TIMOTHY: Ooof. Heh. Youโ€™re welcome, I guess, Jon. But she doesnโ€™t need me to take
care of her.
JON: She will.
JON: Really? At this hour of the night?
JON: Well, of course Iโ€™m up for it. Donโ€™t be ridiculous.
JON: Iโ€™ll dance with you anywhere, any time, for as long as you want. You know that,
Emmy.
JON: All you have to do is ask.
Jonathan โ€œJonโ€ Littledragon, 76 years old. Jon was raised by people who thought image
was everything, and who perhaps should have considered the effect infidelity and a
murder-suicide would have on the family image. Heck, they probably should have
considered the effect those things would have on their kids. Jon eventually made a good
income off of his own image (literally), but lived his life according to what made him
happy. This included an unconventional-looking woman four years his senior, a late-in-
life child, and comfortable clothing.
Jon was a personal favorite, but he was never complete without Emmy, nor was she
complete without him. Now they are whole again. May they be happy together for all of
whatever comes next.
Letโ€™s move on to something not quite so sad, okay? Before I embarrass myself by crying
in front of all my nice readers?
Whoa whoa whoa! I donโ€™t think you should be playing there, kiddo.
TRIXIE: Bo go swuh swuh swuh foosh!
ROBI: Come on, sugarlump. Letโ€™s find something to play with thatโ€™s not the toilet, okay?
TRIXIE: Bo go foosh! Aybe aybe bo!
ROBI: You donโ€™t say.
TRIXIE: Ohsieray!
ROSALIE: Oodgay, oodgay! Ouyay areway eryvay artsmay, Ixietray! Iโ€™mway Osieray.
Iโ€™mway ouryay Ommymay. Ancay ouyay aysay โ€œOmmymayโ€?
TRIXIE: Ohnay! Oo nah Mommy!
(Rosalie sighs)
In case you were wondering, Robi and Rosie are raising Trixie to be bilingual. Robi
speaks to Trixie in Simlish, and Rosie speaks to her in Alien. Trixie herself speaks a sort
of Simlien, but like most kids raised to be bilingual, sheโ€™ll have it sorted out by the time
sheโ€™s six or so. Alien mostly equals Pig Latin, so you probably donโ€™t need a translation.
Letโ€™s go check on the other alien in the family, shall we?
Hi, Cassie! โ€“ Ooops. (whispers) Sorry. Didnโ€™t mean to wake you.
CASSIE: No, no, โ€˜sokay. Iโ€™m just a bit sleepy from the party last night.
You had a party last night?
CASSIE: Uh-huh. (yawns) It was a Good Time, too.
CASSIE (V.O.): I wanted a Roof Raiser, but Lucky got stuck in the corner during the
Smustle. Thereโ€™s more room out here, but I guess after youโ€™ve had a few, Smustling in
the bedroom sounds good. (yawns) That didnโ€™t come out rightโ€ฆ And I couldnโ€™t convince
my son to bring any of his college friends with him.
Tsk tsk tsk. Doesnโ€™t that boy know how to have fun?
CASSIE (V.O.): Oh, I think heโ€™s having plenty of fun.
CASSIE (V.O.): Iโ€™m just sure itโ€™s the kind of fun you donโ€™t tell your mom about.
Ah. Say no more.
Have I mentioned that Eileen Tang is Romance?
No?
Eileen Tang is Romance. That seems to give her two bolts with Ricky Cormier here.
Normally, I would consider two bolts a keeper, but in this case, I think itโ€™s one bolt for
each Romance Sim, which doesnโ€™t count.
Plus, I donโ€™t like Ricky Cormier. Sue me.
And Colin got his hula zombies.
Everyone else was pretty broken up about it, but do you see that big smile on Colinโ€™s
face? He gets to see Lee again.
Colin (Littledragon) Long, er โ€“ Letโ€™s say one year older than Andrew, four years older
than Jon, and leave it at that, shall we? Something went wrong somewhere along the line,
probably during the rebuild, and somehow Colin ended up in his 80s while his four-
years-younger brother was still in his 60s.
While in college, Colin had a stable of girlfriends and boyfriends. He wasnโ€™t exactly
exclusive after college either, but did eventually settle down with Lee Long. He also
became Mayor of Sim City, achieving Permaplat status, and he took in his nephew
following the latterโ€™s graduation from college. Not that his nephew couldnโ€™t have moved
back in with his own parents or even found his own place, but itโ€™s the thought that counts.
Goodbye, Colin.
Life at the Miller household was going swimmingly. I had a nice update planned for you
about the little things: Ryanโ€™s A+, Amy getting her bronze badge in Robotics and
learning how to build CleanBots, Byron going Permaplatโ€ฆ
Not that I was going to show you Byronโ€™s work uniform, you understand. Itโ€™s completely
out of character. But I would have included a deliberate shot of the plumbbob.
But as it turned out, Carylโ€™s lifebar was glitchy and reflected the lifespan of whoever Iโ€™d
looked at before, not how much time was actually left to her. So when I wasnโ€™t looking,
this happened.
RYAN: Dad? Come on in, please. You canโ€™t stay out here all night.
Guys arenโ€™t much for talking about their feelings, but everyone knows that food makes
everything better.
RYAN: Come on, Dad. Iโ€™ll make you some hot milk, like you used to make for me.
JEROME: He doesnโ€™t need hot milk. He needs a nice strong cup of coffee. Iโ€™ve got it.
BYRON (firmly): Fluffernutters. That was what Mom made when we were little. How
about a nice thick fluffernutter, Lucky?
LUCKY: I โ€“ Thank you.
Caryl (Cwik) Miller, aged coughmumbleahemyes. Caryl was raised to follow Strict
Family Values. Although this was somewhat frustrating for Lucky during the courtship
phase of their relationship โ€“ imagine not being allowed to hold hands until after youโ€™re
engaged! โ€“ once it came to the having-babies phase, he couldnโ€™t have been happier. At
least two of Carylโ€™s three sons did not inherit her Strict Family Values beliefs, but she
loved them anyway. Carylโ€™s LTW was to Max Out Seven Skills, which she did not
achieve. Lucky misses her something awful.
Goodbye, Caryl.
And Stacey?
Stacey is doing as well as can be expected, I suppose. Sheโ€™s with Toby now.
Stacey Miller, 77-ish, seen here in a picture taken in college. You didnโ€™t know that she
went to school with international supermodel Jon, did you? Well, now you do. Stacey
never achieved her LTW of becoming a Celebrity Chef, but she did maintain good
relations with her family โ€“ including her niece and nephews, which is a major
achievement for me. In a family full of chickens and deformed chickens, Stacey was a
hawk, and therefore the most attractive of them all.
Rest in peace, Stacey.
Itโ€™s birthday time at the Robin Sanders house. Yvette has hit Elder.
Gerard has moved off to college. (More about that next time.)
And both Cillian and Mifune have grown up well.
Very well indeed, in Anneโ€™s opinion.
(Incidentally, when Anne got home that night, both she and Lucy grew up too. I tell you
this now to maintain continuity.)
Anne keeps calling to talk to Mifuneโ€ฆ
โ€ฆbut itโ€™s her sister who gets invited over after school.
Letโ€™s see how their family is doing.
JASMINE: You what? How could you be so stupid? Didnโ€™t I tell you about the project
we had going on at work?
JASPER: Yeah, but that was off-planet โ€“
JASMINE: Not the telescope futures โ€“ the displaced Nigerian royalty! Thatโ€™s one of our
biggest draws! I know I told you about it. I distinctly remember feeling my lips move.
JASPER: Yeah, but this was displaced Zimbabwean royalty. Itโ€™s completely different!
JASMINE: (screams, because killing people is illegal) Well, thanks to you, we are out of
money! We are going to have to sell everything we own and move somewhere else;
someplace we can afford.
JASPER: Uhโ€ฆ When you say โ€œeverything,โ€ you donโ€™t mean my sports car, right?
JASMINE: YES, I mean your sports car!
JASPER: Butโ€ฆ Itโ€™s my sports car. You gave it to me after the girls were born.
JASMINE: I gave it to you, and I can damn well take it away again. Thatโ€™s the first thing
Iโ€™m selling. (calls up the stairs) Oh girls! Daddy has something he wants to explain to
you!
JASPER: Well, this isnโ€™t so bad, right? Jasmine? Letโ€™s go explore our barn.
JASMINE: We donโ€™t have a barn.
JASPER: But itโ€™s right there. You got a pretty good deal on such a big place.
JASMINE: Our property ends just past the driveway, and about ten feet behind the house.
JASPER: Oh.
JASMINE: Did I mention that we donโ€™t have any lights? Or heat? And the water only
runs occasionally.
ANNE: Whatcha doing?
LUCY: Watching Mom and Dad meditate.
ANNE: Why?
LUCY: Why are they meditating, or why am I watching?
ANNE: Uh-huh.
LUCY: Well, theyโ€™re meditating because weโ€™ve only got one bed, and you and I were
sleeping in it. And Iโ€™m watching them because thereโ€™s no TV. Not that we have any
electricity anyway.
ANNE: Oh. (joins Lucy) Is it any good?
LUCY: Actually, yeah. No commercials.
VALERIE: Ruth? Ruth, where are you?
MENโ€™S CHORUS
Eh! What a nose!
And oh! What eyes miss!
RUTH: Iโ€™m in the basement!
MENโ€™S CHORUS
Lips loike a rose
And cheeks loikewise miss!
VALERIE: Youโ€™re not watching that nonsense again, are you? Why donโ€™t you go out on
a date?
RUTH: Ma!
WOMENโ€™S CHORUS
Oiโ€™ll tell you true
Which Oi never done sir
VALERIE: You need more romance in your life. If you canโ€™t find anyone you like in
your classes, Iโ€™ll pay for the matchmaker for you, as many times as you like.
RUTH: I have enough romance now, Ma! Thanks!
VALERIE: No, what you have is that nineteenth-century opera hooey. Nobody likes that
stuff any more. Come on, Iโ€™ll help you find a nice boy. Or a nice girl. One you can even โ€“
even marry if youโ€™re into that. Iโ€™ll still love you if youโ€™re a Family Sim, really I willโ€ฆ
RUTH: I canโ€™t heeeeaaaar you, Ma! (turns up the volume)
WOMENโ€™S CHORUS
Oi loike you
As Oi never loiked none sir
(โ€œโ€˜Tis twelve, I think.โ€ From The Sorcerer. Words by W.S. Gilbert, Music by Sir Arthur
Sullivan.)
Yes, I like that piece. Why do you ask? And speaking of interfering parentsโ€ฆ
PERRY: Now that Harkonโ€™s a Teen, it wonโ€™t be long before he starts dating.
AMETHYST (noncommittally): Mmm-hmm.
PERRY: And once he meets a nice girl, itโ€™s only a matter of time until they get married.
AMETHYST: Perry, have you seen his room?
PERRY: Yes, heโ€™s got up all kinds of posters.
AMETHYST: Of?
PERRY: Some boy bands, some athletes. So what? โ€“ Do you think I should offer to pay
for the matchmaker? Heโ€™s not as shy as me, but it can be very hard to meet girls.
AMETHYST: Perry, I think you should talk to Harkon before you do anything. I think
thereโ€™s something he might want to say.
PERRY: Soโ€ฆ Your mother says thereโ€™s something that you want to say to me?
HARKON: Uh, I donโ€™t think so.
PERRY: Oh. Okay. โ€“ So do you want me to call the matchmaker for you now that youโ€™re
a teen? I know it can be hard to meet girls when youโ€™re shy.
(Harkon chokes on his sandwich)
HARKON: Actually, Daโ€ฆ I, uh. I. (whispers) Iโ€™m gay.
PERRY: Say again?
HARKON (half-shouts): Iโ€™m gay!
PERRY: Oh.
(Long, thoughtful pause)
PERRY: Good.
HARKON (squeaks): Good?
PERRY: Yes, good. Now you wonโ€™t be slowed down by whether your wife wants a baby
or not. Iโ€™ll give you the phone number of the Most Logical Brotherhood of the Telescope
โ€“ theyโ€™ll help you get abducted, and if you meet a nice like-minded green-skinned boy,
theyโ€™ve got technology that can let you both be pregnant at the same time. Iโ€™ll get you the
number of the adoption agency, too, just in case. Those are both much more efficient
methods of getting me grandbabies. I want six, by the way.
Alas, Andrew will not see those grandbabies. Or in his case, great-grandbabies. The hula
zombies came that same night.
Andrew โ€œAndyโ€ Littledragon, 80 years old. (I did mention that the ages got all mixed up
during the rebuild, right?) Andrew majored in physics, married a wonderful woman,
fathered natural twins (and a daughter), survived a nasty car accident, successfully fended
off the Social Worker, and reached Permaplat all before he hit Elder. He had a fondness
for pink bowling shirts and songs from The Threepenny Opera, and he was much saner
than either of his parents. He will be much missed.
Goodbye, Andy.
Hi, Kitty! How goes it?
KITTY: It goes, it goes.
What was the pink streak of lightning I saw just now?
KITTY: Oh, that was Nirel. That boy never walks anywhere if he can run, and he
probably wouldnโ€™t run if he could fly.
He had his birthday? Happy birthday to him! And to Tirtha, too, right?
KITTY: And to Tirtha too. Theyโ€™re twins.
So howโ€™s Tirtha?
KITTY: Eh, I donโ€™t really know what to make of her.
But sheโ€™s your daughter.
KITTY: And your point is?
Umโ€ฆ
KITTY: Never mind. Have you seen how nice the place looks now that weโ€™ve enclosed
the whole fist floor?
Very nice! Very nice indeed! And just think โ€“ all this on two items per day!
KITTY: (clears throat) Well, mostly.
Mostly?
KITTY: Itโ€™s Simon. First he manages to sit down at the table in the conservatory โ€“ I still
donโ€™t know how โ€“ but he couldnโ€™t get up until we put down two more floor tiles.
Well, thatโ€™s okay. Youโ€™re allowed to fix glitches.
KITTY: And then he decided, all of a sudden, that he couldnโ€™t possibly pee unless we
were all outside. And heโ€™s got a very small bladder. So we put up two more walls.
(snorts) Like we werenโ€™t the ones who wiped his butt when he was little.
Young men need their privacy โ€“ Whoa! When did you resurrect Galileo?
KITTY: We didnโ€™t. Thatโ€™s Mircea.
Mircea? But he looks exactly like Galileo!
KITTY: No, Galileoโ€™s nose was thinner.
Was it? (peers at Mircea doubtfully) Hey, this means youโ€™re an Elder too, right?
KITTY: Who, me? Iโ€™m as young as I ever was.
You donโ€™t look it.
KITTY: When was the last time you had your eyes checked? Go bother someone else,
why donโ€™t you?
Because Iโ€™ve already checked in with everyone else.
KITTY: Then wrap things up. Donโ€™t just sit there and insult me.
Well, I know how to take orders. Iโ€™ll leave you with this picture of Harkon Littledragon,
who is going to make some lucky man very very happy someday.
Now I just have to figure out which man is deserving of him. (And willing to put up with
lots and lots of babies.) That question wonโ€™t be resolved next time, but I hope youโ€™ll join
me anyway. Until then, Happy Simming!

Already in Progress, Chapter 22

  • 1.
    Hello, and welcometo Already in Progress! Did you know that if the point of the game were to kill off all oneโ€™s Sims, I would be world champion? I know this is true and not just idle boasting or wishful thinking because the game told me so. And the game would never lie. Right? When I am not busy being the hypothetical world champion of Sim-killing, I am busy documenting the lives of the residents of Sandersville. Letโ€™s see how well Iโ€™ve been doing at that, shall we? We can start at the Most Logical Brotherhood of the Telescope, where the plot (such as it is) is Already in Progressโ€ฆ
  • 2.
    BARTHOLOMEW, WHO ISIN BLUE AND HAS A SHAVED HEAD TO SHOW THAT HE IS A FULL BROTHER, NOT JUST A NOVICE LIKE MATTHIAS AND TYRONE: So whereโ€™s the new guy? MATTHIAS: Using the energizer. Heโ€™ll be out in a minute. BARTHOLOMEW: He needs that thing every day, doesnโ€™t he? MATTHIAS: He really doesnโ€™t like making Sir Bricks-A-Lots. BARTHOLOMEW: Who does? (cue flashback sound effects)
  • 3.
    TYRONE: Howโ€™s yourlevel? MATTHIAS: Middling green. Howโ€™s yours? TYRONE: Low green. Date? MATTHIAS: Sure, why not? TYRONE: So what are you up for? Chat, Joke, couple games of Red Hands, maybe a Friendly Hug? MATTHIAS: Actually, I was thinking (whispers)
  • 4.
    TYRONE: Monks areallowed to do that? MATTHIAS: We are NOT MONKS, okay? And the whole point of the Brotherhood is to get pregnant โ€“ of course we arenโ€™t celibate!
  • 5.
    TIMOTHY: So Ithink Iโ€™ve found a publisher! SARAH JANE: For your thesis? TIMOTHY: Yes, I reworked it into a book and I think it will do really well. SARAH JANE: Whatโ€™s it called again? TIMOTHY: Logical Positivism and the Existential Ontology Movement: Influences in Modal Logic and Naturalism. By Timothy Miller. I guess. SARAH JANE: Youโ€™re not sure of the title? Or of your name? TIMOTHY: Iโ€™m not sure how to sign it. I donโ€™t actually like โ€œTimothy,โ€ and โ€œTimmyโ€ is so childish. But โ€œTim Millerโ€ sounds like someone youโ€™d go to the game with, not a philosopher. And I donโ€™t like the combination โ€œT. A.โ€ I was thinking of โ€œT. Aaron Miller,โ€ maybe, but itโ€™s just โ€“ lacking somethingโ€ฆ
  • 6.
    SARAH JANE: Howabout โ€œT. Aaron Littledragonโ€? That sounds nice. TIMOTHY: It does. (thoughtfully) โ€œLogical Positivism and the Existential Ontology Movement: Influences in Modal Logic and Naturalism, by T. Aaron Littledragon.โ€ But my nameโ€™s not โ€œLittledragon.โ€ SARAH JANE: Mine is. Iโ€™d be willing to share.
  • 7.
    And so TimothyMiller became Timothy Littledragon.
  • 8.
    JON: Hey, Timmy.(fierce hug) Thanks for taking care of my daughter. TIMOTHY: Ooof. Heh. Youโ€™re welcome, I guess, Jon. But she doesnโ€™t need me to take care of her. JON: She will.
  • 9.
    JON: Really? Atthis hour of the night?
  • 10.
    JON: Well, ofcourse Iโ€™m up for it. Donโ€™t be ridiculous.
  • 11.
    JON: Iโ€™ll dancewith you anywhere, any time, for as long as you want. You know that, Emmy. JON: All you have to do is ask.
  • 12.
    Jonathan โ€œJonโ€ Littledragon,76 years old. Jon was raised by people who thought image was everything, and who perhaps should have considered the effect infidelity and a murder-suicide would have on the family image. Heck, they probably should have considered the effect those things would have on their kids. Jon eventually made a good income off of his own image (literally), but lived his life according to what made him happy. This included an unconventional-looking woman four years his senior, a late-in- life child, and comfortable clothing. Jon was a personal favorite, but he was never complete without Emmy, nor was she complete without him. Now they are whole again. May they be happy together for all of whatever comes next. Letโ€™s move on to something not quite so sad, okay? Before I embarrass myself by crying in front of all my nice readers?
  • 13.
    Whoa whoa whoa!I donโ€™t think you should be playing there, kiddo. TRIXIE: Bo go swuh swuh swuh foosh!
  • 14.
    ROBI: Come on,sugarlump. Letโ€™s find something to play with thatโ€™s not the toilet, okay? TRIXIE: Bo go foosh! Aybe aybe bo! ROBI: You donโ€™t say.
  • 15.
    TRIXIE: Ohsieray! ROSALIE: Oodgay,oodgay! Ouyay areway eryvay artsmay, Ixietray! Iโ€™mway Osieray. Iโ€™mway ouryay Ommymay. Ancay ouyay aysay โ€œOmmymayโ€?
  • 16.
    TRIXIE: Ohnay! Oonah Mommy! (Rosalie sighs) In case you were wondering, Robi and Rosie are raising Trixie to be bilingual. Robi speaks to Trixie in Simlish, and Rosie speaks to her in Alien. Trixie herself speaks a sort of Simlien, but like most kids raised to be bilingual, sheโ€™ll have it sorted out by the time sheโ€™s six or so. Alien mostly equals Pig Latin, so you probably donโ€™t need a translation. Letโ€™s go check on the other alien in the family, shall we?
  • 17.
    Hi, Cassie! โ€“Ooops. (whispers) Sorry. Didnโ€™t mean to wake you. CASSIE: No, no, โ€˜sokay. Iโ€™m just a bit sleepy from the party last night. You had a party last night? CASSIE: Uh-huh. (yawns) It was a Good Time, too.
  • 18.
    CASSIE (V.O.): Iwanted a Roof Raiser, but Lucky got stuck in the corner during the Smustle. Thereโ€™s more room out here, but I guess after youโ€™ve had a few, Smustling in the bedroom sounds good. (yawns) That didnโ€™t come out rightโ€ฆ And I couldnโ€™t convince my son to bring any of his college friends with him. Tsk tsk tsk. Doesnโ€™t that boy know how to have fun? CASSIE (V.O.): Oh, I think heโ€™s having plenty of fun.
  • 19.
    CASSIE (V.O.): Iโ€™mjust sure itโ€™s the kind of fun you donโ€™t tell your mom about. Ah. Say no more.
  • 20.
    Have I mentionedthat Eileen Tang is Romance? No? Eileen Tang is Romance. That seems to give her two bolts with Ricky Cormier here. Normally, I would consider two bolts a keeper, but in this case, I think itโ€™s one bolt for each Romance Sim, which doesnโ€™t count. Plus, I donโ€™t like Ricky Cormier. Sue me.
  • 21.
    And Colin gothis hula zombies. Everyone else was pretty broken up about it, but do you see that big smile on Colinโ€™s face? He gets to see Lee again.
  • 22.
    Colin (Littledragon) Long,er โ€“ Letโ€™s say one year older than Andrew, four years older than Jon, and leave it at that, shall we? Something went wrong somewhere along the line, probably during the rebuild, and somehow Colin ended up in his 80s while his four- years-younger brother was still in his 60s. While in college, Colin had a stable of girlfriends and boyfriends. He wasnโ€™t exactly exclusive after college either, but did eventually settle down with Lee Long. He also became Mayor of Sim City, achieving Permaplat status, and he took in his nephew following the latterโ€™s graduation from college. Not that his nephew couldnโ€™t have moved back in with his own parents or even found his own place, but itโ€™s the thought that counts. Goodbye, Colin.
  • 23.
    Life at theMiller household was going swimmingly. I had a nice update planned for you about the little things: Ryanโ€™s A+, Amy getting her bronze badge in Robotics and learning how to build CleanBots, Byron going Permaplatโ€ฆ Not that I was going to show you Byronโ€™s work uniform, you understand. Itโ€™s completely out of character. But I would have included a deliberate shot of the plumbbob.
  • 24.
    But as itturned out, Carylโ€™s lifebar was glitchy and reflected the lifespan of whoever Iโ€™d looked at before, not how much time was actually left to her. So when I wasnโ€™t looking, this happened. RYAN: Dad? Come on in, please. You canโ€™t stay out here all night.
  • 25.
    Guys arenโ€™t muchfor talking about their feelings, but everyone knows that food makes everything better. RYAN: Come on, Dad. Iโ€™ll make you some hot milk, like you used to make for me. JEROME: He doesnโ€™t need hot milk. He needs a nice strong cup of coffee. Iโ€™ve got it. BYRON (firmly): Fluffernutters. That was what Mom made when we were little. How about a nice thick fluffernutter, Lucky? LUCKY: I โ€“ Thank you.
  • 26.
    Caryl (Cwik) Miller,aged coughmumbleahemyes. Caryl was raised to follow Strict Family Values. Although this was somewhat frustrating for Lucky during the courtship phase of their relationship โ€“ imagine not being allowed to hold hands until after youโ€™re engaged! โ€“ once it came to the having-babies phase, he couldnโ€™t have been happier. At least two of Carylโ€™s three sons did not inherit her Strict Family Values beliefs, but she loved them anyway. Carylโ€™s LTW was to Max Out Seven Skills, which she did not achieve. Lucky misses her something awful. Goodbye, Caryl. And Stacey?
  • 27.
    Stacey is doingas well as can be expected, I suppose. Sheโ€™s with Toby now.
  • 28.
    Stacey Miller, 77-ish,seen here in a picture taken in college. You didnโ€™t know that she went to school with international supermodel Jon, did you? Well, now you do. Stacey never achieved her LTW of becoming a Celebrity Chef, but she did maintain good relations with her family โ€“ including her niece and nephews, which is a major achievement for me. In a family full of chickens and deformed chickens, Stacey was a hawk, and therefore the most attractive of them all. Rest in peace, Stacey.
  • 29.
    Itโ€™s birthday timeat the Robin Sanders house. Yvette has hit Elder.
  • 30.
    Gerard has movedoff to college. (More about that next time.)
  • 31.
    And both Cillianand Mifune have grown up well.
  • 32.
    Very well indeed,in Anneโ€™s opinion.
  • 33.
    (Incidentally, when Annegot home that night, both she and Lucy grew up too. I tell you this now to maintain continuity.)
  • 34.
    Anne keeps callingto talk to Mifuneโ€ฆ
  • 35.
    โ€ฆbut itโ€™s hersister who gets invited over after school. Letโ€™s see how their family is doing.
  • 36.
    JASMINE: You what?How could you be so stupid? Didnโ€™t I tell you about the project we had going on at work? JASPER: Yeah, but that was off-planet โ€“ JASMINE: Not the telescope futures โ€“ the displaced Nigerian royalty! Thatโ€™s one of our biggest draws! I know I told you about it. I distinctly remember feeling my lips move. JASPER: Yeah, but this was displaced Zimbabwean royalty. Itโ€™s completely different! JASMINE: (screams, because killing people is illegal) Well, thanks to you, we are out of money! We are going to have to sell everything we own and move somewhere else; someplace we can afford. JASPER: Uhโ€ฆ When you say โ€œeverything,โ€ you donโ€™t mean my sports car, right? JASMINE: YES, I mean your sports car! JASPER: Butโ€ฆ Itโ€™s my sports car. You gave it to me after the girls were born. JASMINE: I gave it to you, and I can damn well take it away again. Thatโ€™s the first thing Iโ€™m selling. (calls up the stairs) Oh girls! Daddy has something he wants to explain to you!
  • 37.
    JASPER: Well, thisisnโ€™t so bad, right? Jasmine? Letโ€™s go explore our barn. JASMINE: We donโ€™t have a barn. JASPER: But itโ€™s right there. You got a pretty good deal on such a big place. JASMINE: Our property ends just past the driveway, and about ten feet behind the house. JASPER: Oh. JASMINE: Did I mention that we donโ€™t have any lights? Or heat? And the water only runs occasionally.
  • 38.
    ANNE: Whatcha doing? LUCY:Watching Mom and Dad meditate. ANNE: Why? LUCY: Why are they meditating, or why am I watching? ANNE: Uh-huh. LUCY: Well, theyโ€™re meditating because weโ€™ve only got one bed, and you and I were sleeping in it. And Iโ€™m watching them because thereโ€™s no TV. Not that we have any electricity anyway. ANNE: Oh. (joins Lucy) Is it any good? LUCY: Actually, yeah. No commercials.
  • 39.
    VALERIE: Ruth? Ruth,where are you? MENโ€™S CHORUS Eh! What a nose! And oh! What eyes miss! RUTH: Iโ€™m in the basement! MENโ€™S CHORUS Lips loike a rose And cheeks loikewise miss! VALERIE: Youโ€™re not watching that nonsense again, are you? Why donโ€™t you go out on a date? RUTH: Ma! WOMENโ€™S CHORUS Oiโ€™ll tell you true Which Oi never done sir VALERIE: You need more romance in your life. If you canโ€™t find anyone you like in your classes, Iโ€™ll pay for the matchmaker for you, as many times as you like.
  • 40.
    RUTH: I haveenough romance now, Ma! Thanks! VALERIE: No, what you have is that nineteenth-century opera hooey. Nobody likes that stuff any more. Come on, Iโ€™ll help you find a nice boy. Or a nice girl. One you can even โ€“ even marry if youโ€™re into that. Iโ€™ll still love you if youโ€™re a Family Sim, really I willโ€ฆ RUTH: I canโ€™t heeeeaaaar you, Ma! (turns up the volume) WOMENโ€™S CHORUS Oi loike you As Oi never loiked none sir (โ€œโ€˜Tis twelve, I think.โ€ From The Sorcerer. Words by W.S. Gilbert, Music by Sir Arthur Sullivan.) Yes, I like that piece. Why do you ask? And speaking of interfering parentsโ€ฆ
  • 41.
    PERRY: Now thatHarkonโ€™s a Teen, it wonโ€™t be long before he starts dating. AMETHYST (noncommittally): Mmm-hmm. PERRY: And once he meets a nice girl, itโ€™s only a matter of time until they get married. AMETHYST: Perry, have you seen his room? PERRY: Yes, heโ€™s got up all kinds of posters. AMETHYST: Of? PERRY: Some boy bands, some athletes. So what? โ€“ Do you think I should offer to pay for the matchmaker? Heโ€™s not as shy as me, but it can be very hard to meet girls. AMETHYST: Perry, I think you should talk to Harkon before you do anything. I think thereโ€™s something he might want to say.
  • 42.
    PERRY: Soโ€ฆ Yourmother says thereโ€™s something that you want to say to me? HARKON: Uh, I donโ€™t think so. PERRY: Oh. Okay. โ€“ So do you want me to call the matchmaker for you now that youโ€™re a teen? I know it can be hard to meet girls when youโ€™re shy. (Harkon chokes on his sandwich)
  • 43.
    HARKON: Actually, Daโ€ฆI, uh. I. (whispers) Iโ€™m gay. PERRY: Say again? HARKON (half-shouts): Iโ€™m gay! PERRY: Oh. (Long, thoughtful pause) PERRY: Good. HARKON (squeaks): Good? PERRY: Yes, good. Now you wonโ€™t be slowed down by whether your wife wants a baby or not. Iโ€™ll give you the phone number of the Most Logical Brotherhood of the Telescope โ€“ theyโ€™ll help you get abducted, and if you meet a nice like-minded green-skinned boy, theyโ€™ve got technology that can let you both be pregnant at the same time. Iโ€™ll get you the number of the adoption agency, too, just in case. Those are both much more efficient methods of getting me grandbabies. I want six, by the way.
  • 44.
    Alas, Andrew willnot see those grandbabies. Or in his case, great-grandbabies. The hula zombies came that same night.
  • 45.
    Andrew โ€œAndyโ€ Littledragon,80 years old. (I did mention that the ages got all mixed up during the rebuild, right?) Andrew majored in physics, married a wonderful woman, fathered natural twins (and a daughter), survived a nasty car accident, successfully fended off the Social Worker, and reached Permaplat all before he hit Elder. He had a fondness for pink bowling shirts and songs from The Threepenny Opera, and he was much saner than either of his parents. He will be much missed. Goodbye, Andy.
  • 46.
    Hi, Kitty! Howgoes it? KITTY: It goes, it goes. What was the pink streak of lightning I saw just now? KITTY: Oh, that was Nirel. That boy never walks anywhere if he can run, and he probably wouldnโ€™t run if he could fly. He had his birthday? Happy birthday to him! And to Tirtha, too, right? KITTY: And to Tirtha too. Theyโ€™re twins.
  • 47.
    So howโ€™s Tirtha? KITTY:Eh, I donโ€™t really know what to make of her. But sheโ€™s your daughter. KITTY: And your point is? Umโ€ฆ
  • 48.
    KITTY: Never mind.Have you seen how nice the place looks now that weโ€™ve enclosed the whole fist floor? Very nice! Very nice indeed! And just think โ€“ all this on two items per day! KITTY: (clears throat) Well, mostly. Mostly? KITTY: Itโ€™s Simon. First he manages to sit down at the table in the conservatory โ€“ I still donโ€™t know how โ€“ but he couldnโ€™t get up until we put down two more floor tiles. Well, thatโ€™s okay. Youโ€™re allowed to fix glitches. KITTY: And then he decided, all of a sudden, that he couldnโ€™t possibly pee unless we were all outside. And heโ€™s got a very small bladder. So we put up two more walls. (snorts) Like we werenโ€™t the ones who wiped his butt when he was little.
  • 49.
    Young men needtheir privacy โ€“ Whoa! When did you resurrect Galileo? KITTY: We didnโ€™t. Thatโ€™s Mircea. Mircea? But he looks exactly like Galileo! KITTY: No, Galileoโ€™s nose was thinner. Was it? (peers at Mircea doubtfully) Hey, this means youโ€™re an Elder too, right?
  • 50.
    KITTY: Who, me?Iโ€™m as young as I ever was. You donโ€™t look it. KITTY: When was the last time you had your eyes checked? Go bother someone else, why donโ€™t you? Because Iโ€™ve already checked in with everyone else. KITTY: Then wrap things up. Donโ€™t just sit there and insult me.
  • 51.
    Well, I knowhow to take orders. Iโ€™ll leave you with this picture of Harkon Littledragon, who is going to make some lucky man very very happy someday. Now I just have to figure out which man is deserving of him. (And willing to put up with lots and lots of babies.) That question wonโ€™t be resolved next time, but I hope youโ€™ll join me anyway. Until then, Happy Simming!