Putting Anger Solutions
Philosophy into Practice
in the Workplace
WHY WE NEED ANGER SOLUTIONS
 “Organizations lose 8 weeks per year of employee
time due to poor communication, which can and
does lead to:
 Conflict, workplace negativity and stress
 Staff turnover
 Lower productivity
 Poor customer service relationships
WORK IN GROUPS!
 If negativity is a
weed, what makes it
grow?
 “There are no bad
people; only bad
systems.” ~ Stephen
Covey
CONFLICT IS…
 The belief that if
you get what you
want, I can’t get
what I want
Belief is the basis
of action, which
determines your
outcomes!
EXERCISE…
 How can we “re-frame” conflict so that it has
a positive connotation?
REVIEW - HOW ANGER AND CONFLICT
DEVELOP:
 Expectation  Experience
 Frustration!!!
THE TSA MODEL FOR
EFFECTIVE
COMMUNICATION…
 T: Think – what is
happening? What does
this mean to me? How
should I respond?
 S: Say – I
feel/need/think/want…
because…
 A: Ask – for feedback.
“How do you feel about
what I’ve just said?”
AND FOR SUPERVISORS…
 Ask: What is your opinion? How do you see
things progressing? Do you have any
concerns?
 Say: This is what I have observed and
these behaviours communicate…
 Continue: Giving ongoing feedback ~ don’t
wait 1 year until next evaluation!
 Provide Feedback on BEHAVIOUR – not
PERSONALITY! More on this later…
IT`S NOT ME!
Who owns
my anger?
TAKE RESPONSE-ABILITY!
E+R=O
Event + Response = Outcome
“It is not your conditions but your decisions that determine
your outcomes.”
~ Tony Robbins
STRATEGY #1 “STATE YOUR PROBLEM”
 Understand that helping others meet their needs
can help you meet your needs
 Allow the other party to state his/her problem
 Good relationships are the first priority.
 Work to build mutual respect
STRATEGY #2
LISTEN: USE EMPATHY
 “I hear what you’re
saying”
 “I can understand why
you’re upset”
 Avoid using “you”
statements
 Believe in innocence
 Engage yourself fully
 Use active listening
skills
 Stay focused
(centered)
 Listen 1st: Talk 2nd
STRATEGY #3
LOOK FOR COMMON GROUND
 Establish the “facts” of the case
 Explore options together
 Eliminate the ones that just don’t fit
 Be open to other ideas
 Work towards that which is mutually acceptable
STRATEGY #4
SEPARATE THE PERSON FROM THE PROBLEM
 Request changes in behaviour only
 Practice: Change these statements address the problem
rather than the person. (ASC)
 “You’re not interested in serving them/you don’t care.”
 “You are the reason we are not making our stats …”
 “You’re more interested in your personal calls than our clients…”
TIME FOR SELF-EVALUATION!
 What are your greatest challenges?
 What are your current strategies?
 What is working?
 What is not working?
 What is the worst thing that could
happen if you try something new?
 What is the best thing that could
happen?
 What options are available to you?
WHAT ARE YOUR CLIENTS’ GREATEST
CHALLENGES?
 How can you – as an individual – help your clients
most effectively?
 How can you work together as a TEAM to help your
clients overcome their challenges?
 What have been the KEYS to your success thus
far?
HOW COULD ANGER AFFECT MY
WORKPLACE?
Attitude
Opinions
ChoicesResponses
Outcomes
STAGES OF TEAM DEVELOPMENT:
FORMING
 The team is assembled and the task is allocated.
 Team members tend to behave independently and
although goodwill may exist they do not know each
other well enough to unconditionally trust one
another.
 Time is spent planning, collecting information and
bonding.
STAGES OF TEAM DEVELOPMENT: STORMING
 The team starts to address the task suggesting ideas.
 Different ideas may compete for ascendancy and if
badly managed this phase can be very destructive for
the team.
 Relationships between team members will be made or
broken in this phase and some may never recover.
 In extreme cases the team can become stuck in the
Storming phase.
 If a team is too focused on consensus they may decide
on a plan which is less effective in completing the task
for the sake of the team.
 This carries its own set of problems. It is essential that a
team has strong facilitative leadership in this phase.
STAGES OF TEAM DEVELOPMENT:
NORMING
 Moving towards harmonious working practices
with teams agreeing on the rules and values by
which they operate.
 Ideally teams begin to trust themselves during this
phase as they accept the vital contribution of each
member to the team.
 Team leaders step back from the team at this
stage as individual members take greater
responsibility.
 The risk during the Norming stage is that the team
becomes complacent and loses either their
creative edge or the drive that brought them to
this phase.
STAGES OF TEAM DEVELOPMENT:
PERFORMING
 An era of high performance.
 Performing teams are identified by high
levels if independence, motivation,
knowledge and competence.
 Decision making is collaborative and
dissent is expected and encouraged as
there will be a high level of respect in the
communication between team members.
SUCCESS LEAVES CLUES
WHAT SAPS YOUR TEAM ENERGY?
WHAT ZAPS YOUR TEAM ENERGY?
 Do you have a common mission? Does everyone
understand it? Are people passionate? Are the
messages sent to clients consistent?
HOW TO ZAP YOUR TEAM
 STEP ONE: Maintain or enhance self-esteem
 STEP TWO: Listen and Respond with empathy
 STEP THREE: Ask for help and encourage
involvement
 STEP FOUR: Offer help without removing
responsibility for action
 STEP FIVE: Share responsibility vs. Control
responsibility
TEAMS WORK!
Together
Everyone
Achieves
MORE!

Anger solutions @ work putting as philosophy into practice

  • 1.
    Putting Anger Solutions Philosophyinto Practice in the Workplace
  • 2.
    WHY WE NEEDANGER SOLUTIONS  “Organizations lose 8 weeks per year of employee time due to poor communication, which can and does lead to:  Conflict, workplace negativity and stress  Staff turnover  Lower productivity  Poor customer service relationships
  • 3.
    WORK IN GROUPS! If negativity is a weed, what makes it grow?  “There are no bad people; only bad systems.” ~ Stephen Covey
  • 4.
    CONFLICT IS…  Thebelief that if you get what you want, I can’t get what I want Belief is the basis of action, which determines your outcomes!
  • 5.
    EXERCISE…  How canwe “re-frame” conflict so that it has a positive connotation?
  • 6.
    REVIEW - HOWANGER AND CONFLICT DEVELOP:  Expectation  Experience  Frustration!!!
  • 7.
    THE TSA MODELFOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION…  T: Think – what is happening? What does this mean to me? How should I respond?  S: Say – I feel/need/think/want… because…  A: Ask – for feedback. “How do you feel about what I’ve just said?”
  • 8.
    AND FOR SUPERVISORS… Ask: What is your opinion? How do you see things progressing? Do you have any concerns?  Say: This is what I have observed and these behaviours communicate…  Continue: Giving ongoing feedback ~ don’t wait 1 year until next evaluation!  Provide Feedback on BEHAVIOUR – not PERSONALITY! More on this later…
  • 9.
    IT`S NOT ME! Whoowns my anger?
  • 10.
    TAKE RESPONSE-ABILITY! E+R=O Event +Response = Outcome “It is not your conditions but your decisions that determine your outcomes.” ~ Tony Robbins
  • 11.
    STRATEGY #1 “STATEYOUR PROBLEM”  Understand that helping others meet their needs can help you meet your needs  Allow the other party to state his/her problem  Good relationships are the first priority.  Work to build mutual respect
  • 12.
    STRATEGY #2 LISTEN: USEEMPATHY  “I hear what you’re saying”  “I can understand why you’re upset”  Avoid using “you” statements  Believe in innocence  Engage yourself fully  Use active listening skills  Stay focused (centered)  Listen 1st: Talk 2nd
  • 13.
    STRATEGY #3 LOOK FORCOMMON GROUND  Establish the “facts” of the case  Explore options together  Eliminate the ones that just don’t fit  Be open to other ideas  Work towards that which is mutually acceptable
  • 14.
    STRATEGY #4 SEPARATE THEPERSON FROM THE PROBLEM  Request changes in behaviour only  Practice: Change these statements address the problem rather than the person. (ASC)  “You’re not interested in serving them/you don’t care.”  “You are the reason we are not making our stats …”  “You’re more interested in your personal calls than our clients…”
  • 15.
    TIME FOR SELF-EVALUATION! What are your greatest challenges?  What are your current strategies?  What is working?  What is not working?  What is the worst thing that could happen if you try something new?  What is the best thing that could happen?  What options are available to you?
  • 16.
    WHAT ARE YOURCLIENTS’ GREATEST CHALLENGES?  How can you – as an individual – help your clients most effectively?  How can you work together as a TEAM to help your clients overcome their challenges?  What have been the KEYS to your success thus far?
  • 17.
    HOW COULD ANGERAFFECT MY WORKPLACE? Attitude Opinions ChoicesResponses Outcomes
  • 18.
    STAGES OF TEAMDEVELOPMENT: FORMING  The team is assembled and the task is allocated.  Team members tend to behave independently and although goodwill may exist they do not know each other well enough to unconditionally trust one another.  Time is spent planning, collecting information and bonding.
  • 19.
    STAGES OF TEAMDEVELOPMENT: STORMING  The team starts to address the task suggesting ideas.  Different ideas may compete for ascendancy and if badly managed this phase can be very destructive for the team.  Relationships between team members will be made or broken in this phase and some may never recover.  In extreme cases the team can become stuck in the Storming phase.  If a team is too focused on consensus they may decide on a plan which is less effective in completing the task for the sake of the team.  This carries its own set of problems. It is essential that a team has strong facilitative leadership in this phase.
  • 20.
    STAGES OF TEAMDEVELOPMENT: NORMING  Moving towards harmonious working practices with teams agreeing on the rules and values by which they operate.  Ideally teams begin to trust themselves during this phase as they accept the vital contribution of each member to the team.  Team leaders step back from the team at this stage as individual members take greater responsibility.  The risk during the Norming stage is that the team becomes complacent and loses either their creative edge or the drive that brought them to this phase.
  • 21.
    STAGES OF TEAMDEVELOPMENT: PERFORMING  An era of high performance.  Performing teams are identified by high levels if independence, motivation, knowledge and competence.  Decision making is collaborative and dissent is expected and encouraged as there will be a high level of respect in the communication between team members.
  • 22.
  • 23.
    WHAT SAPS YOURTEAM ENERGY? WHAT ZAPS YOUR TEAM ENERGY?  Do you have a common mission? Does everyone understand it? Are people passionate? Are the messages sent to clients consistent?
  • 24.
    HOW TO ZAPYOUR TEAM  STEP ONE: Maintain or enhance self-esteem  STEP TWO: Listen and Respond with empathy  STEP THREE: Ask for help and encourage involvement  STEP FOUR: Offer help without removing responsibility for action  STEP FIVE: Share responsibility vs. Control responsibility
  • 25.

Editor's Notes

  • #10 Who owns my anger? External locus of control vs. Internal. Can also talk here about internal and external locus of control – with an external locus of control, people tend to do more blaming, shaming and complaining because they are constantly blaming their circumstances on other people or outside circumstances. With an internal locus of control, people tend to have more of a sense that they can determine better outcomes and so they respond differently to “negative” situations.The truth is – NOBODY owns your anger but you. It is an emotion and only belongs to the person experiencing it. Trying to blame your anger on others may feel good in the moment but it isn’t really an authentic way to approach your emotions. When you own it, you are responsible for it. If you’re responsible for it, that means that you can choose how to express and resolve it.
  • #18 If you approach work with a negative or pessimistic attitude, it will reflect itself in the opinions you express and the way you communicate with others at work. That attitude and your opinions will reflect themselves in the choices you make and the responses you choose. Each response you choose will have some sort of outcome. If the outcome is in your mind, positive – that is, it reinforces your opinions, you will continue to think and behave in similar ways. If the outcome is negative, it will only serve to confirm your attitude that things are bad. The solution then is to make a shift in your attitude. One of the ways we facilitate attitude shifts with Anger Solutions is by asking POWER QUESTIONS. Power questions pre-suppose a positive outcome. In other words they assume that the positive outcome is a given – the questions then are framed in such a way that the person being asked the question has no option but to arrive at that positive outcome. E.g. How can you make dealing with difficult customers a rewarding experience for both you and the customer? Here’s a scenario of a negative situation that might occur in the workplace. Let’s see if we can come up with some POWER QUESTIONS to help us deal with this scenario more positively. Can also explore how the e+r=o equation plays out in this scenario.
  • #22 Not all teams make it to the Performing phase, which is essentially an era of high performance. Performing teams are identified by high levels if independence, motivation, knowledge and competence. Decision making is collaborative and dissent is expected and encouraged as there will be a high level of respect in the communication between team members.
  • #23 Use some ZAPP principles here.