Collaboration: Cockburn's Dance of Contribution in a Workshop

Collaboration: The Dance
of Contribution

The idea
alistair.cockburn.us
Collaboration:%the dance of contribution

@brown_note
Craig.Brown@Tabar.com.au

Collaboration:%the dance of contribution
Lift others
Increase safety
Make progress
Add energy

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Lift others
Each person in the room has the opportunity to lift others, to
raise their personal self-esteem, social status, confidence.
There are various ways to accomplish these.
Be courteous. Courtesy is designed to lift others. Ordinary
courtesy includes giving others the chance to speak,
listening, inquiring and abstaining from grandstanding and
other displays of ego. If you have no other idea of how to
proceed, simply be courteous in your interactions.
Lower your social posture. Speaking from a lowered posture
means placing others at your same level or higher by tone
and gesture (it does not mean groveling). The book Impro gives
more specific tips as to how to behave in a lower status
position, but the book also highlights at the same time that
people simply know how to behave the moment they decide on
their relative status.
If everyone does this, the result can be simply wonderful.
Everyone cherishes what everyone else says, each person
grants the others the right to be an expert in their own
views. This was the way I experienced the writing of the Agile
Manifesto. Each person listened intently to each other person,
each granted the others the status of expert in their
speaking, nobody claimed higher status than the others. We
achieved great results in that day and a half.
Listen intently. Pay close attention to the speaker, digest
what the person says, and then ask a question that shows that
you have understood what they said and are taking it to a
new level.
Recognize others. Delight in the ways other people find to
implement their ideas, and let them know that. Ask for their
thoughts. When possible, accept one of their ideas.
Increase safety
The essence of collaboration is establishing in people’s minds
that it is OK for them to contribute whatever they have. To the
extent they feel fear, they close down. To the extent they feel
safe, they contribute.
Be yourself. People seem to be able to tell if you are acting or
being yourself. If they sense acting, they are likely to become
nervous about what you might be hiding. Being yourself indicates
there is nothing to be afraid of. Part of “being in the bar waiting
for the second round of drinks” is being obviously relaxed and
your regular self.
Donate. If people see that you are not afraid to give away your
ideas, they feel safer in offering up their own.
Widen the boundary. (Evidently my favorite move.) Say or do
something that you would like to say or do but which might lie
outside the expected boundaries. If you once demonstrate that this
sort of statement or action is acceptable, it widens the
boundaries of what others can do. Quite possibly, what others were
afraid to say or do suddenly appear “safe” to them.
Support others. Help clarify someone else’s viewpoint. Let someone
else come forward who has trouble getting heard.
Challenge but adopt ideas. Challenging others is part of widening
the boundaries. Adopting ideas lifts others and also indicates
that it is safe for others to offer ideas.
Build personal relationships. Part of building a personal
relationship is indicating that you won’t say something to hurt
the other person. With someone to back them up and protect them, a
person who is otherwise very shy might feel brave enough to step
forward and contribute.
Not betray. Don’t leak information that will hurt someone. This
should be quite obvious.
Leave some privacy. Finally, leave some space for people to hide
in. If there is nowhere safe to hide, then fear goes up again and
safety goes down.
Make progress
Success breed success. Getting no results is
depressing, making progress encourages the
people in the room. There are, of course, several
ways to contribute toward making progress.
Say something valuable. Try to make sure that
your first speaking contributes something of
value. This not only moves the work forward, but
also predisposes others to listen to what you
have to say.
Clarify the way forward. Sometimes what helps is
to “pull the threads together” and illustrate
either what has been achieved, where the group
is, or even better, show what the way forward
looks like.
Focus. Stay on track, pull others back if they get
too far off track. Sometimes going off track for a
little while releases some tension in the room,
but people seem to appreciate being brought back
Get a result. Getting the first result of the day
is very heartening. If the day is coming to a
close, it is possible to set up a very small goal,
just so that the people in the room have the
experience of victory. Good facilitators seem
always to be able to generate some sort of
victory to help encourage and bind the group.
Add energy
This last category is minor compared to
the others, but still noticeable. Lethargic
people drain energy from others in the
room; those interested, curious and active
lend energy to the others in the room.
Keep your energy high. Avoid being
lethargic yourself. Even just sitting alert
and listening intently contributes energy
to the room.
Challenge. Challenge others’ ideas, not to
put them down, but to explore the truth and
the limits of the idea. Challenging
someone’s idea is part of being honest, part
of helping to make progress, part of
listening intently.
Contribute. Finally, of course, contributing
your own ideas adds energy to the room. If
everyone only sits and listens, the group
will wind down.
http://alistair.cockburn.us/Collaboration%3A+the+dance+of+contribution

Lift others
• Be courteous
• Lower your
social
posture
• Listen
intently
• Recognize
others
Increase
safety
• Be yourself
• Donate
• Widen the
boundary
• Support
others
• Challenge but
adopt ideas
• Build
personal
relationships
• Don’t betray
Make progress
• Success breed
success
• Say something
valuable
• Clarify the
way forward
• Focus
• Get a result
Add energy
• Challenge
• Contribute
• Keep your
energy high
Share out themes among observers to help you focus

Challenge
• Challenge others'
ideas, not to put
people down but to
explore the truth
and limits of the
ideas.
• Challenging an
idea is part of
being honest,
listening intently,
and making
progress
Contribute
• Contributing your
own ideas adds
energy to the room.
• If everyone only
sits and listens,
the group will wind
down.
• When people see
that you are not
afraid to give away
your ideas, they
also feel safer in
offering up their
own
Keep your energy
high
• Listen intently
• Avoid being
lethargic yourself.
• Body posture,
muscle tone, eye
alertness, all
communicate your
energy level.
• Even just sitting
alert contributes
energy to the room.
Pay close attention
to the speaker,
digest what they
say, ask a question.

Lower your
relative social
position
• By tone of
voice and
gesture, place
the other
person at your
same level or
higher.
• This includes
self-
deprecating
humor.
• It does not
mean groveling.
Recognize others
• Ask for their
thoughts,
accept an idea.
• When you build
on their idea,
let them know,
so they get
recognition.
• Delight in the
ways they find
to implement
their ideas.
Inquire, don't
contradict
• When inclined
to contradict,
inquire
instead, to
discover new
information
that makes the
answer other
than what you
expected.
• Work to
understand why
the other
person's answer
is so different.
Challenge but
adopt
• It is uplifting
when someone
disagrees with
you at first,
but then sees
and adopts
your view.
• Do this for
someone else.
Look to adopt
their ideas
where possible,
so they know
they are heard
and their
ideas valued.

Get one result
• Getting a
result is
heartening.
• Good
facilitators
often
generate a
victory to
help
encourage and
bind the
group.
• If the session
is ending, aim
for a small
goal, so that
the group can
end with a
victory.
Get back from
diversions
• Keep your
ideas on
topic.
• Going off
track for a
little while
releases some
tension in the
room, but
people
appreciate
being brought
back.
Say something
valuable
• Try to make
your first
speaking of
value.
• This moves the
work forward,
and it
encourages
others to
listen to you.
Clarify the
way forward
• Sometimes it
helps to "pull
the threads
together",
show
what has been
achieved, what
forward looks
like, or where
the group is.

Show you won't
hurt
• Show that you
won't say things
that hurt the
other person.
With someone to
back up and
protect them, a
person might
feel brave
enough to step
in and
contribute.
• Leave some
privacy. If there
is nowhere safe
to hide, fear
goes up and
safety goes down.
• Don't leak
information that
will hurt
someone. This
should be
obvious.
Be yourself
• People can
usually tell if
you are being
yourself or
acting. Being
yourself shows
there is nothing
to be afraid of.
• Try "being in the
bar at 9pm with
friends," quite
obviously
relaxed and your
regular self.
(This is not an
excuse to be
crude.)
Say something
honest, on the
edge of what you
think is allowed
• Say or do
something that
you would like
to, but which
might lie
outside the
expected
boundaries.
• This widens the
boundaries of
what others can
do. What others
were afraid to
say or do may
suddenly appear
"safe" to them.
Add humor
• Humor lowers
tension, allows
relaxation.
• It is not the
making of a joke
that increases
safety, it is that
safe groups feel
safe joking with
each other.
• Personal attacks
disguised as
jokes do not
count.

Meetings Observations
CoachingReflections

instructions
Form groups of 5-7
Roles;
• Storyteller,
• Interviewer,
• Up to 4 observers,
• Someone is the
facilitator
Tell stories about
your projects.
• Talk about what
others did; sponsors,
stakeholders, team
members
Observers make a note
which behaviours are
displayed in the story
5 minute iterations,
3 minute review,
swap roles

Challenge
• Challenge others' ideas, not to put people down but to explore the truth and limits of the ideas.
• Challenging an idea is part of being honest, listening intently, and making progress.
Contribute
• Contributing your own ideas adds energy to the room.
• If everyone only sits and listens, the group will wind down.
• When people see that you are not afraid to give away your ideas, they also feel safer in offering up their own.
Keep your energy high
• Avoid being lethargic yourself.
• Body posture, muscle tone, eye alertness, all communicate your energy level.
• Even just sitting alert contributes energy to the room. Pay close attention to the speaker, digest what they say,
ask a question.
Lower your relative
social position
• By tone of voice and gesture, place the other person at your same level or higher.
• This includes self-deprecating humor.
• It does not mean groveling.
Recognize others
• Ask for their thoughts, accept an idea.
• When you build on their idea, let them know, so they get recognition.
• Delight in the ways they find to implement their ideas.
Inquire, don't
contradict
• When inclined to contradict, inquire instead, to discover new information that makes the answer other than what
you expected.
• Work to understand why the other person's answer is so different.
Challenge but adopt
• It is uplifting when someone disagrees with you at first, but then sees and adopts your view.
• Do this for someone else. Look to adopt their ideas where possible, so they know they are heard and their ideas
valued.
Get one result
• Getting a result is heartening.
• Good facilitators often generate a victory to help encourage and bind the group.
• If the session is ending, aim for a small goal, so that the group can end with a victory.
Get back from
diversions
• Keep your ideas on topic.
• Going off track for a little while releases some tension in the room,
• but people appreciate being brought back.
Say something
valuable
• Try to make your first speaking of value.
• This moves the work forward, and it encourages others to listen to you.
Clarify the way
forward
• Sometimes it helps to "pull the threads together", show
what has been achieved,
• what forward looks like, or
where the group is.
Show you won't hurt
• Show that you won't say things that hurt the other person. With someone to back up and protect them, a person
might feel brave enough to step in and contribute.
• Leave some privacy. If there is nowhere safe to hide, fear goes up and safety goes down.
• Don't leak information that will hurt someone. This should be obvious.
Be yourself
• People can usually tell if you are being yourself or acting. Being yourself shows there is nothing to be afraid
of.
• Try "being in the bar at 9pm with friends," quite obviously relaxed and your regular self. (This is not an excuse to
be crude.)
Say something honest,
on the edge of what
you think is allowed
• Say or do something that you would like to, but which might lie outside the expected boundaries.
• This widens the boundaries of what others can do. What others were afraid to say or do may suddenly appear "safe"
to them.
Add humor
• Humor lowers tension, allows relaxation.
• It is not the making of a joke that increases safety, it is that safe groups feel safe joking with each other.
• Personal attacks disguised as jokes do not count.

Alistair's article should be
read to get his ideas without
dilution from me.
You can read the Dance of
Collaboration here;
• http://alistair.cockburn.us/Collaboration
%3a+the+dance+of+contribution
My take on this is that it is
a when we mature into collaborators
we are all leaders, and we need to
make room for each other. To do that
we need to become even better leaders
by becoming more self aware and
kinder to each other, while
maintaining focus on getting things
done.
There is a story I sometimes
use to illustrate the challenge of
leadership; among equals.
When travelling with friends
you all defer to each other about
where to eat. You pass by one
restaurant after another in the
hope that something magical will
appear that pulls the whole crown
in without you having to be the one
that makes the decision.
The place you hoped for never
appears and you end up having
microwaved food from a convenience
store before heading back to the
hotel. If only we had a better way
of stepping in and out of leadership
roles…
There is also a nice idea here
that, as we mature in our ability to
collaborate we can use metaphors
like dancing instead of combat and
sports to describe the way we work.
Perhaps we need a whole new set of
stories to be collaborators.
Craig Brown
June 2013

Collaboration: Cockburn's Dance of Contribution in a Workshop

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