Concision

Concision

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  Concision: Crisp Writing MCM241,Fall 2017 John Couper
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  Why be Concise? •“Concision”= “the most meanings in the fewest words” • Why? – Meanings are stronger because they aren't surrounded by weak words – You don't waste the reader's time and attention – Ideas and information are clearer, more direct and easier to remember – Concise writing seems fresher and more enjoyable – Concise writing is more professional and “musical.” • How? – Choose words with rich meanings – Eliminate words etc. that add few or no meanings
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  1. Use specificwords for more power • a) Wordy: The politician talked about several of the merits of after- school programs in his speech (14) • Concise: The politician's speech praised after-school programs (8) • b) Wordy: Suzie believed, but could not confirm, that Billy had feelings of affection for her (14 words) • Concise: Suzie assumed that Billy adored her. (6) • c) Wordy: Working as a pupil under someone who develops photos was an experience that really helped me learn a lot. (20) • Concise: Working as a photo technician's apprentice was an educational experience. (10)
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  2. Challenge everyword's value a) Wordy: The teacher demonstrated some of the various ways and methods for cutting words from my essay that I had written for class. (22) • Concise: The teacher demonstrated ways to cut words from my essay. (10 words) b) Wordy: Many have made the wise observation that when a stone is in motion rolling down a hill or incline, that moving stone is not as likely to be covered with the kind of thick green moss that grows on stationary, unmoving things and becomes a nuisance and suggests that those things haven’t moved in a long time and probably won’t move any time soon. (64) • Concise: A rolling stone gathers no moss. (6)
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  3. Combine Sentences a)Wordy: Ludwig's castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. Before his death, he had commissioned three castles. (18) • Concise: Ludwig's three castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. (11) b) Wordy: The supposed crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. This crash is rumored to have occurred in 1947. (24) • Concise: The supposed 1947 crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. (16)
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  4. Use single,direct words new innovations innovations one and the same the same particular interest interest period of four days four days personally, I think/feel I think/feel personal opinion opinion puzzling in nature puzzling refer back refer repeat again repeat return again return revert back revert shorter/longer in length shorter/longer small/large in size small/large square/round/rectangular in shape square/round/rectangular summarize briefly summarize surrounded on all sides surrounded surrounding circumstances circumstances the future to come the future there is no doubt but that no doubt usual/habitual custom custom we are in receipt of we have received
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  5. Use Phrasesnot Clauses, Words not Phrases a) Smith College, which was founded in 1871, is the premier all- women's college in the United States. Founded in 1871, Smith College is the premier U.S. all- women's college b) Citizens who knew what was going on voted him out of office. • Knowledgeable citizens voted him out of office. c) Unencumbered by a sense of responsibility, Jason left his wife with forty-nine kids and a can of beans. • Jason irresponsibly left his wife with forty-nine kids and a can of beans.
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  6. Minimize Intensifiersand “There is... that” a) Words like really, very, quite, extremely, severely are rarely necessary: “the salary increase is inadequate”, not “severely inadequate.” Fewer intensifiers have more impact. b) Avoiding using there is/are or it is. • Wordy: There are twenty-five students who have already expressed a desire to attend the program next summer. It is they and their parents who stand to gain the most by the government grant. • Concise: Twenty-five students already expressed a desire to attend the program next summer. They and their parents stand to gain the most by the government grant.
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  7. Don't Writewhat Readers will Assume • a) Many woodlands, in fact, have been purchased for the purpose of creating public parks. – Many woodlands, in fact, have been purchased for the purpose of creating as public parks. • b) This policy has a tendency tends to isolate some communities.
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  8. Start withthe Subject. This is concise and clear-- explaining who or what is making the action happen. a) As I have previously argued, it was not until after the last batch of votes was counted, that the Senator was able to declare victory. The Senator declared victory after the last batch of votes was counted.
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  9. Use activeverbs. Most verbs are active: they suggest action. (“I walked to the shops.”) The passive voice starts a sentence with the object. (“The shops were walked to by me”). This is less concise and indirect-- unclear about what is being caused by who. a) It was not until after the last batch of votes was counted, that victory could be declared by the Senator. The Senator declared victory after the last batch of votes was counted. Only use the passive voice when causality or agency is unclear (the subject isn’t making things happen or making choices).
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  10. Minimize adverbsand adjectives Adverbs modify verbs, adjectives, or other adverbs. They suggest the writer fears not expressing himself/herself clearly. Try to only use adjectives of color, size and number. a) The exultant Senator proudly declared victory after the last batch of votes was carefully counted. The Senator declared victory after the last batch of votes was counted, calling himself “proud to have the opportunity to serve”.
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  11. Use theshortest form of a word. Don't write “utilise” when you can use “use’” Why say ‘conceptualisation’ if you mean ‘concept’? a) The Senator promulgated his victory after the ultimate collection of democratic choices had been enumerated. The Senator declared victory after the last batch of votes was counted.
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  12. Use theshortest form of a phrase. Writers use stock phrases to connect sentences, to “signpost” (anticipate) and pad their writing. a) Use “However”, not “On the other hand”. b) Use “how”, not “the ways in which”. On the other hand, the Senator explained the ways in which his electoral victory were unique. The Senator, however, explained how his electoral victory was unique.
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  13. Use EverydayWords when possible Elaborate word Simple word ascertain commence constitute fabricate initiate terminate transmit utilize find out begin make up build begin end send use