Teen Dating Violence
What is Love? Responsibility Hard Work Honesty Sharing Openness Friendship Compromising Trust Respect Jealousy Possessiveness Violence Obsession Cruelty Manipulation Dependency Proving Yourself Fear Love is... Love isn’t...
What is dating violence? Dating violence is an attempt to gain power and control over another person through perpetration or threat of an act of violence by at least one member of an unmarried couple on the other member within the context of dating.
Violence is often hidden in Teenagers because… Are inexperienced with dating relationships Are pressured by peers to be violent Want independence from parents Have “Romantic” views of love
Young men  may  believe… They have the right to control their female partners in any way necessary “Masculinity” is physical aggressiveness They “Possess”  their partner They should demand intimacy
Young women  may  believe… They are responsible for solving the relationship problems Their boyfriend’s jealousy, possessiveness and even physical abuse is “romantic” Abuse is “normal” because their friends are also being abused There is no one to ask for help
The Cycle of Violence Tension-building Explosion Remorse, Apologies Honeymoon 1 2 3
Things that are PHYSICALLY abusive... Scratched Choked Hair pulled Cut with knife Kicked in stomach when pregnant Slapped Beat up Punched in arm, face Hit with object
Things that are SEXUALLY abusive... Called sexual names Wanted sex after hitting Made walk home nude Forced sex (RAPE) Forced to do “disgusting” sex acts Forced to have sex without protection
Things that are EMOTIONALLY abusive... Yelled at Money stolen Constantly blamed for partner’s faults Verbally abusive Called names Publicly humiliated Constantly accused of flirting or having sex with others
Top Ten Signs of Potential Dating Violence 1. Jealousness and possessiveness towards you. 2. Attempts at control by being bossy to you. 3. Frightens or intimidates you into fearing how he/she will react to things you say or do. 4. Is violent and loses temper quickly. 5. Pressures you sexually. 6. Abuses alcohol or drugs. 7. Blames you when he/she mistreats you. 8. Has a history of bad relationships 9. Believes men should be in control and powerful while women should remain submissive and passive. 10. Your family and friends have warned you about this person or told you they are worried about your safety.
Statistics Every 16 seconds a woman in the U.S. is beaten An average of 28% of high school students experience violence in a dating relationship 12% of those abused experience physical abuse 16% report dating violence to parents and/or authorities 20% of female homicide victims are between 15 and 24 years old  42% of woman murdered in the United States are killed by their boyfriend or husband Young men become more violent when they see themselves as part of a couple 80 out of 100 men who beat their wives saw their father beat their mother or were abused themselves. 70% of pregnant teens are beaten by their partners and tends to escalate during pregnancy
Common clues a teen is being abused Physical signs of injury Truancy, dropping out of school Failing grades Use of drugs/alcohol Pregnancy Emotional Outbursts Indecision Isolation Changes in mood or personality
What do you do if YOU are being ABUSED? Take it seriously Tell your abuser the violence must stop Plan for your safety Tell your parents or a trusted adult Call the police or other authorities Call a hotline Find a counselor or a support group Do things for yourself that make you feel stronger
What to do if your FRIEND is being abused? Promote self esteem Be non-judgmental Make a safety plan Be there. LISTEN After the breakup keep up the support Get the parents and police involved if necessary Don’t worry about what others think
What to do if you are the ABUSER? Say “I have a problem.  I am abusive.” Call a hotline Find a counselor or support group Talk to parents, friends, or other adults Learn as much as you can about abusive relationships Respect women Respect yourself: You CAN choose to abuse
Dating Safely Double date a few times before you go out with a new person Know the plan for the date before leaving Be aware of your decreased ability to react under the influence If you leave a party with someone you do not know very well, make sure you tell someone who you are leaving with. Assert yourself when necessary.  Be firm and straightforward. Trust your instincts.  If a situation makes you uncomfortable, try to remain calm and think of a plan to get yourself out of it.

Dating Violence

  • 1.
  • 2.
    What is Love?Responsibility Hard Work Honesty Sharing Openness Friendship Compromising Trust Respect Jealousy Possessiveness Violence Obsession Cruelty Manipulation Dependency Proving Yourself Fear Love is... Love isn’t...
  • 3.
    What is datingviolence? Dating violence is an attempt to gain power and control over another person through perpetration or threat of an act of violence by at least one member of an unmarried couple on the other member within the context of dating.
  • 4.
    Violence is oftenhidden in Teenagers because… Are inexperienced with dating relationships Are pressured by peers to be violent Want independence from parents Have “Romantic” views of love
  • 5.
    Young men may believe… They have the right to control their female partners in any way necessary “Masculinity” is physical aggressiveness They “Possess” their partner They should demand intimacy
  • 6.
    Young women may believe… They are responsible for solving the relationship problems Their boyfriend’s jealousy, possessiveness and even physical abuse is “romantic” Abuse is “normal” because their friends are also being abused There is no one to ask for help
  • 7.
    The Cycle ofViolence Tension-building Explosion Remorse, Apologies Honeymoon 1 2 3
  • 8.
    Things that arePHYSICALLY abusive... Scratched Choked Hair pulled Cut with knife Kicked in stomach when pregnant Slapped Beat up Punched in arm, face Hit with object
  • 9.
    Things that areSEXUALLY abusive... Called sexual names Wanted sex after hitting Made walk home nude Forced sex (RAPE) Forced to do “disgusting” sex acts Forced to have sex without protection
  • 10.
    Things that areEMOTIONALLY abusive... Yelled at Money stolen Constantly blamed for partner’s faults Verbally abusive Called names Publicly humiliated Constantly accused of flirting or having sex with others
  • 11.
    Top Ten Signsof Potential Dating Violence 1. Jealousness and possessiveness towards you. 2. Attempts at control by being bossy to you. 3. Frightens or intimidates you into fearing how he/she will react to things you say or do. 4. Is violent and loses temper quickly. 5. Pressures you sexually. 6. Abuses alcohol or drugs. 7. Blames you when he/she mistreats you. 8. Has a history of bad relationships 9. Believes men should be in control and powerful while women should remain submissive and passive. 10. Your family and friends have warned you about this person or told you they are worried about your safety.
  • 12.
    Statistics Every 16seconds a woman in the U.S. is beaten An average of 28% of high school students experience violence in a dating relationship 12% of those abused experience physical abuse 16% report dating violence to parents and/or authorities 20% of female homicide victims are between 15 and 24 years old 42% of woman murdered in the United States are killed by their boyfriend or husband Young men become more violent when they see themselves as part of a couple 80 out of 100 men who beat their wives saw their father beat their mother or were abused themselves. 70% of pregnant teens are beaten by their partners and tends to escalate during pregnancy
  • 13.
    Common clues ateen is being abused Physical signs of injury Truancy, dropping out of school Failing grades Use of drugs/alcohol Pregnancy Emotional Outbursts Indecision Isolation Changes in mood or personality
  • 14.
    What do youdo if YOU are being ABUSED? Take it seriously Tell your abuser the violence must stop Plan for your safety Tell your parents or a trusted adult Call the police or other authorities Call a hotline Find a counselor or a support group Do things for yourself that make you feel stronger
  • 15.
    What to doif your FRIEND is being abused? Promote self esteem Be non-judgmental Make a safety plan Be there. LISTEN After the breakup keep up the support Get the parents and police involved if necessary Don’t worry about what others think
  • 16.
    What to doif you are the ABUSER? Say “I have a problem. I am abusive.” Call a hotline Find a counselor or support group Talk to parents, friends, or other adults Learn as much as you can about abusive relationships Respect women Respect yourself: You CAN choose to abuse
  • 17.
    Dating Safely Doubledate a few times before you go out with a new person Know the plan for the date before leaving Be aware of your decreased ability to react under the influence If you leave a party with someone you do not know very well, make sure you tell someone who you are leaving with. Assert yourself when necessary. Be firm and straightforward. Trust your instincts. If a situation makes you uncomfortable, try to remain calm and think of a plan to get yourself out of it.