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KNOW Abuse
- 1. Welcome to KNOWABUSE™ Understanding Dating Violence and Abusive Relationships KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 2. What Is theDifference Between Domestic Violence and Dating Violence? However, in the case of teen dating violence, the couple does not share the same residence. In an adult domestic violence relationship, the couple often shares a home. Therefore, the abuse usually happens behind closed doors. In a violent dating relationshipIn a violent , dating it is much more difficult relationship for a victim the abuse to gain distance often occurs from his/at school, her abuser because during parties, they often at the attend the mall, same and schools. in cars. and share the same friends. Hallways at school... Ride the They may share the same school bus... same classrooms... ©Cornerstone’s PAVE Program 2007 KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 3. How Agencies Help • Restraining Orders CCoouurrtt aanndd LLeeggaall HHeellpp KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 4. What People Need • Emergency Shelter & Long-Term Housing OOnnee--ttoo--OOnnee CCoouunnsseelliinngg && SSuuppppoorrtt GGrroouuppss KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 5. Websites: www.uhavetheright.net www.pavetheway.com www.cornerstonemn.org SSTTAATTIISSTTIICCSS One out of four teenagers will experience abuse in his/her dating relationship by the age of 18. U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2002 70% of students could identify a time where they witnessed or experienced an abusive dating relationship. –Cornerstone 2009-10 44% of students indicted they had experienced verbal harassment. 32% indicated physical harassment. -Cornerstone 2009-10 74% of students said they had seen someone lose control of their anger a school. -Cornerstone 2009-10 Play the KNOW ABUSE Video Now! FFiinndd UUss AATT:: CCoorrnneerrssttoonnee 952-884-0376 FFaacceebbooookk:: Cornerstone MN MMyyssppaaccee:: CornerstoneMn KNOWABUSE YYoouuTTuubbee:: KNOW ABUSE 1 KNOW ABUSE 2 Cornerstone KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 6. What Does anAbusive Person Look Like? KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 7. What Does AnAbused Person Look Like? KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 8. WHEEL ACTIVITY KNOWABUSE™ © 2011
- 9. EMOTIONAL ABUSE PlaysMind Games Name Calling Makes you feel like you’re always wrong Accuses you things you haven’t done ECONOMIC ABUSE SEXUAL ABUSE USING THREATS DOUBLE STANDARDS DENY, MINIMIZE & BLAME USING INTIMIDATION USING ISOLATION KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 10. TAKES MONEY FROM YOU PREVENTS/SABOTAGES JOBS OWE YOUR PARTNER FOR GIFTS ECONOMIC ABUSE SEXUAL ABUSE USING THREATS DENY, MINIMIZE & BLAME USING INTIMIDATION USING ISOLATION EMOTIONAL ABUSE DOUBLE STANDARDS KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 11. Controls what youwear Makes comments about your body Nags, Pouts, and scares you into being sexual when you don’t want to Rape ECONOMIC ABUSE SEXUAL ABUSE USING THREATS DOUBLE STANDARDS DENY, MINIMIZE & BLAME USING INTIMIDATION USING ISOLATION EMOTIONAL ABUSE KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 12. Threatens to spread rumors Threatens to hurt themselves (suicide) or you if the relationship ends Threatens future relationships USING THREATS ECONOMIC ABUSE SEXUAL ABUSE DOUBLE STANDARDS DENY, MINIMIZE & BLAME USING INTIMIDATION USING ISOLATION EMOTIONAL ABUSE KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 13. S/he can goout, but you can’t Their mood determines what you do May often “give in” to avoid conflict S/he is a hypocrite DOUBLE STANDARDS ECONOMIC ABUSE SEXUAL ABUSE USING THREATS DENY, MINIMIZE & BLAME USING INTIMIDATION USING ISOLATION EMOTIONAL ABUSE KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 14. Gives you “thatlook” Threatening TXT and phone messages Blocks doorways Destroys Property Displays/Uses weapons USING INTIMIDATION ECONOMIC ABUSE SEXUAL ABUSE USING THREATS DOUBLE STANDARDS DENY, MINIMIZE & BLAME USING ISOLATION EMOTIONAL ABUSE KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 15. Denies Problems Thinksabuse is no big deal Blames all arguments and problems on you Manipulates past issues Ignores your feelings DENY, MINIMIZE & BLAME ECONOMIC ABUSE SEXUAL ABUSE USING THREATS DOUBLE STANDARDS USING INTIMIDATION USING ISOLATION EMOTIONAL ABUSE KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 16. USING ISOLATION Wantsto know who you’re with and who you talk to Disapproves of friends/family Is extremely jealous No privacy online or with cell phone use ECONOMIC ABUSE SEXUAL ABUSE USING THREATS DOUBLE STANDARDS DENY, MINIMIZE & BLAME USING INTIMIDATION EMOTIONAL ABUSE KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 17. POWER & CONTROL USING THREATS USING ISOLATION ECONOMIC ABUSE SEXUAL ABUSE DOUBLE STANDARDS DENY, MINIMIZE & BLAME USING INTIMIDATION EMOTIONAL ABUSE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 18. SCENARIO ACTIVITY KNOWABUSE™ © 2011
- 19. EMOTIONAL ABUSE 1& 13 KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 20. ECONOMIC ABUSE 2& 15 KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 21. SEXUAL ABUSE 4& 9 KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 22. USING THREATS 3& 12 KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 23. DOUBLE STANDARDS 6& 11 KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 24. USING INTIMIDATION 8& 10 KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 25. DENY, MINIMIZE &BLAME 7 & 16 KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 26. USING ISOLATION 5& 14 KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 27. •PROMISES •GIFTS •TRUST •LOVE •THREATS •PRESSURE •BLAMING •PHYSICAL •VERBAL •NONVERBAL •SEXUAL VIOLENCE KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011 •APOLOGIES •GIFTS •PARTIALTRUST •FEAR
- 28. HONEYMOON HONEYMOON HONEYMOON EXPLOSION HONEYMOON INTIMIDATION THREATS THREATS DENYING, MINIMIZING & BLAMING DENYING, MINIMIZING & BLAMING EMOTIONAL ECONOMIC TENSION BUILDING EMOTIONAL TENSION BUILDING HONEYMOON EXPLOSION INTIMIDATION TENSION BUILDING EMOTIONAL ECONOMIC DOUBLE STANDARDS EXPLOSION TENSION BUILDING EMOTIONAL ECONOMIC DOUBLE STANDARDS ISOLATION HONEYMOON EXPLOSION BUILDING TENSION BUILDING EMOTIONAL ECONOMIC DOUBLE STANDARDS ISOLATION DENYING, & MINIMIZING BLAMING HONEYMOON EXPLOSION TENSION EMOTIONAL ECONOMIC DOUBLE STANDARDS ISOLATION THREATS HONEYMOON EXPLOSION KNOW ABUSE™ TENSION BUILDING EMOTIONAL ECONOMIC DOUBLE STANDARDS ISOLATION DENYING, MINIMIZING & BLAMING EXPLOSION TENSION BUILDING EMOTIONAL ECONOMIC DOUBLE STANDARDS ISOLATION SEXUAL LL HH © 2011
- 29. HONEYMOON EXPLOSION TENSIONBUILDING EMOTIONAL Although the abuse seems small in the beginning… KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 30. HONEYMOON EXPLOSION TENSIONBUILDING EMOTIONAL ECONOMIC DOUBLE STANDARDS INTIMIDATION THREATS DENYING, MINIMIZING & BLAMING ISOLATION SEXUAL POWER & CONTROL It intensifies as time goes on … KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 31. DO’s for Helpingan Abused Person Ask respectful questions that let your friend know you have suspicions. Listen and believe what they say without judgment or shock. Recognize that your friend may minimize or deny what is going on. Challenge the abusive behavior. Connect your friend with knowledgeable adults or community resources. Be there. Be patient. Support his or her strengths. Having a supportive person right now is important. KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 32. DON’T’s for Helpingan Abused Person Don’t give advice Don’t be judgmental Don’t blame the abused person Don’t deny or minimize the abused person’s feelings Don’t become confrontational towards the victim KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 33. The DON’Ts ofHelping an Abusive Person DON’T condone the abuse -Abusers will often try to get others to understand their actions. DON’T get stuck in the middle -Watch getting caught up as a go-between for the couple. DON’T encourage or laugh at the abuse -Publicly abusers may tell degrading jokes, spread rumors, or use nasty names that provides justification for their actions in private. KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 34. The Do’s ofHelping an Abusive Person • DO talk to the abuser –if you feel safe • DO listen and be there for them • DO encourage them to be honest • DO help them clarify their actions • DO encourage them to talk to a counselor • DO help them understand their actions and choices KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 35. IF YOU THINKYOU’RE TOO SMALL TO HAVE AN IMPACT, TRY GOING TO BED WITH A MOSQUITO IN THE ROOM. --Anita Koddick KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011
- 36. KNOW ABUSE™ Project A Primary Prevention Curriculum for the Prevention of Abusive Dating Relationships For teachers and facilitators working with ages 11-18 KNOW ABUSE™ Curriculum developed by Cornerstone’s PAVE program (Preventing Abuse and Violence through Education) Bloomington, MN 2007 Funding by Department of Health and Human Services Administration of Children and Families Community Awareness and Outreach Campaign Projects of the Prevention of Family Violence All of the content in this curriculum is the sole property of Cornerstone and its PAVE program, except those items adapted from or attributed to others. The material in this curriculum cannot be reproduced via any means without the express, written consent of Cornerstone. ©Cornerstone’s PAVE Program, 2007. All rights reserved. KNOW ABUSE™ is Trademark of Cornerstone.
- 37. The Sheila WellstoneCenter 1000 East 80th Street Bloomington, MN 55420 952.884.0376 cornerstonemn.org dayoneservices.org 24 Hour Helpline: 952.884.0330 MN Day One® Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1.866.223.1111 Copyrighted by Cornerstone © KNOW ABUSE™ © 2011