Here are my suggestions for improving the visual planning:
- Add more description for each scene beyond just the lyrics. Describe camera angles, shots, lighting, locations, actions of characters, etc. This will help with planning the visual storytelling.
- Consider how to visually show the emotional/mental decline of the friend rather than just stating it in the lyrics. For example, show them becoming more isolated over time or engaging in self-destructive behaviors.
- Plan out the transitions between past and present. How will you distinguish the two timelines visually? Gradual changes or abrupt cuts? Color filters, aspect ratios, lighting, etc.
- Think about the overall narrative arc. How does the story/pro