Obituary

Obituary

• 1.
  Keith Schemel Obituary Keith AndrewSchemel, 73, of Miami, Florida passed away yesterday, Wednesday, 25 April 2068, after a tragic gladiator accident with a rhinoceros. He was born in Lacey Township, New Jersey to Bill and Marianne Schemel. He received a college education from Marshall University in West Virginia before settling in Miami, Florida. Keith lived a very adventurous life, as some of his accomplishments included biking across the European and Asian continent, climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro, kayaking across the Pacific Ocean, and wrestled polar bears naked in the arctic. Furthermore, Keith was responsible for finding Malaysian Airline 370 as well as the lost city of Atlantis at the same time while scuba diving off the coast of Antarctica. Other than his adventurous endeavors, Keith became an extremely successful businessman, and became a multi-billionaire by the time he was thirty years old, and constructed a 5,000 acre floating island off the coast of Miami, where his funeral procession will take place on Saturday at noon. He is survived by his six wives, twenty-four children, and eighty-one grandchildren.