Parent nutrition workshop

Health Positivity
Amandine Lecesne, School Counsellorat Prem

Warning: this workshop
WILL make us rethink the
messages we’re using!

SELF-REFLECTION QUIZ
For your eyes only!
Where did you learn about what to eat and what not to eat when you were
young? E.g parents, school, religion
Name 3 things you like about your body
Name 2 things you don’t like about your body
Circle how many times you have dieted. 0-1 2-5 6-10 11+
Do you worry about what your child eats? yes/no
Do you count the calories in your food? yes/no
How would you help your child if they started eating too much or too little?

The reality is that our children often need guidance in
order to obtain healthy living. Often, they are prone to
craving unhealthy snacks. Or if they are eating
healthily, their thinking about their food and their
bodies is disturbingly unhealthy.
Young girls are more afraid
of becoming fat than they
are of nuclear war, cancer,
or losing their parents

The most important message out of this
workshop today is to get away from
talking about weight and to talk
about health instead, and to do so in
a way that actually motivates instead of
undermines our children.

We’ll cover what is healthy eating; what
it looks like on a dinner plate.
And we’ll also take a look at what
happens to our children’s perception of
their bodies, how to balance that with
some positive messages, and how to
respond if your child develops
disordered eating.

What does it feel and look like?

Food is fuel. It helps us think, it helps us have
energy, it allows us to have enough nutrients
to supplement our hair, nails, and skin. It
supports our mental health. It has lots of value
beyond taste and calories.

The good news is, the basic rule about what to
feed kids is simple:

Offer choices between two healthy options
Less effective
More effective

Help them connect the dots between
how they feel and what they’ve eaten
3 brownies may taste great at the time, but shortly afterwards, the amount of carbohydrates
will cause irritability and sluggishness.
If a child skips breakfast, this will also cause hunger pangs and difficulty focusing at school.
On the other hand, point out if they ate a veggie omelette and drank coconut water in the
morning and felt in good spirits afterwards

Practice the same healthy habits
you’re encouraging
A 2011 study suggested that the adoption of healthy eating and activity habits by
parents had the greatest influence on teens’ weight and lifestyle habits.

Offer variety- eat the rainbow

Support, but don’t police
Restricting food or putting certain foods “off-limits” for the purpose of weight
loss is not a good idea.
Support your teen by making healthy food options readily available and
modeling healthy eating behaviors.
If they eat healthily when they’re at home and occasionally eat unhealthily when
they are with friends, it’s not a big deal.

Make your house a no-diet zone
Calorie restriction from diets isn’t effective. We need to make changes which
are sustainable and the best way to do this is to encourage small gradual
change to food intake and activity.
Here are some of the reasons we really don’t want our children dieting:
1. Depriving the body of energy or nutrients is counter to the development
needs of children.
2. While children are feeling hungry and weak from a diet and their brain is not
getting its large energy needs met, they are less able to concentrate, reflect
and learn.
3. Children may get stuck in a cycle of disordered eating, as each diet leads to
weight gain.

Incorporate fun and healthy habits instead
Experiment with recipes, try new foods, and involve family
members in cooking and meal planning. Find activities which are
enjoyable and encourage them because they’re fun and make the
body feel better.

https://www.beautythroughimperfection.com/100-ways-kids-will-actually-eat-vegetables/

Exercise for FUN
Not everyone wants to go running, play tennis, go to the gym, or get involved with
football.
However, there are lots of alternatives:
Try jumping on the trampoline, dancing, jump-rope, yoga, boxing, biking,
badminton, gardening, etc.
The only exercise your children will do long-term is the one they enjoy doing.

Give rewards besides food
All too often, we reward good grades, eating nutritious foods, birthdays, etc.
with unhealty foods.
Move away from rewarding or “comforting” with food.
Offer books, coloring books, movie nights, a new bike/trampoline/boxing gloves,
etc… as rewards instead.

Explain it to them and get them involved
Kids are brilliant little creatures and can learn things much faster than we can!
Too often, we dumb down explanations of why they must do things or
exaggerate them (“come on honey, just eat one bit of this yummy delicious
broccoli and it will make you super strong!”)
Most children respond well to logical and calm introductions to new foods.
When we make a big deal out of getting them to try something, they learn that
it must not actually be that good or we wouldn’t be making such an ordeal
about it in the first place!
Put a little portion of the food on their plates, tell them what it is, and answer
any questions. Don’t bribe, cajole, or beg. If they ask, explain why the food is
healthy and that making good eating choices is important for a healthy body.

Don’t label foods as “good” or “bad”
The only “bad” food is the one that gives you food poisoning!
Foods are to varying degrees nutritious. Everything from pizza to
carrots to peanut butter can be part of a healthy menu.

Let them see where food comes from
Many kids grow up with no knowledge or appreciation how how food is
grown or raised and how it gets to them. If possible, take your kids to a farm
to expose them to a new way of viewing their food.
Even better, grow a garden and let them help. They are much more likely to
eat what they have grown themselves.

Don’t reward a clean plate
Children should be encouraged to “listen” to their own fullness
cues and allowed to stop eating when full, even if there is still
food on the plate.

We need fats to:
1. help our thinking
2. build healthy hair
3. create healthy skin
4. support mental
health
5. feel satiated

Focus on health, not weight
When talking to children, there’s a big difference between healthy and harmful
conversations. Research suggests it’s essential that parents make health the
focus- not weight or appearance. Parents should also be aware of the way they
talk about their own bodies and appearance. Instead, focus on health, health
improvements, and the positives that come from adopting those- like more
energy, increased strength or stamina, better sleep, or meeting a physical
activity goal.

We’ve covered what healthy eating
looks and feels like, but sometimes,
our children can be at any given
weight (including a seemingly
“healthy” one) and yet their thinking
about their bodies or their food is
seriously unhealthy.

Sometimes, the same food behavior (cutting out sugar, for example), can be an act of
self-care or an act of self-hate.
Exercise can be an act of self-care or an act of self-hate. We HAVE to take a look at
the thoughts and motives behind the behavior to check if the behavior is healthy or
unhealthy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE
There are many reasons we are pushed into seeing our bodies negatively. We
regularly physically under-evaluate ourselves, and so do our children.

When children feel like something is wrong with their
bodies, they might try and alter those bodies through the
food they take in. They might cut out entire food groups
(“I’m not eating any carbs”), they may skip meals, they
might over-exercise, or they might purge.
They might also over-eat or binge on foods, especially
”comfort” foods.
These behaviors have rarely anything to do with food itself,
and more to do with stress levels, low self-esteem, and
seeking validation.
So our conversations should revolve around addressing the
stress, building up esteem, and offering validation.

If you are concerned about
your child’s weight ….
do NOT bring it up to them
Why: bringing up a teen’s weight or a perceived need to lose weight is often
interpreted as something is “wrong” with them and the suggestion of dieting by a
parent appears to have no positive impact on weight loss. In fact, some studies
correlate it with weight gain. Furthermore, conversations between parents and
teens that focused on weight or appearance (instead of healthy eating habits)
were associated with a greater risk of the teen developing unhealthy eating
habits.

Instead…. talk about stress levels, changes
in mood, changes in relationships
Instead of saying: “I’ve noticed you’ve lost/gained a bit of weight and I’m
concerned”, open up a conversation by saying: “You seem stressed these days.
I’ve noticed that you don’t come to dinners as much anymore and that you
seem more worried than usual. What’s been going on?”
LISTEN. Nod your head. Don’t interrupt. Don’t try and “fix”.
Show that you’re listening by asking for clarification or restating: “so you feel
left out, yeah?” “that must be difficult” or “when you say that no one likes you,
what’s happening that leads you to feel that way?”

Body talk
Avoid being critical of your own or others’ appearance. Even better,
avoid commenting on a person’s weight or appearance at all (even
positive).
Let’s start focusing on character, qualities, and compassion over
whether we’re thin enough or attractive enough or strong enough
There is so much more value to life!

Calorie Talk
“This is rich”, “this is fattening”, ”that has xxx calories”, etc… is
triggering to teens who are already obsessing over their food.
Foods should be considered for their nutrition, not just their
calories.

From a young age, start making gratitude lists!
…. and include things about your body

Tell them that models, actors, K-pop artists,
facebook pictures, etc… are
fake/tweaked/altered/unhealthy ideals
Too often, we compare ourselves to others. Nowadays, kids are being
bombarded by photos of others who are trying to “look good”, by messages
from companies trying to sell them the message that they are defective but
that this can be fixed at a price, etc. It’s overwhelming.
Because our own happiness has a lot to do with how we think we compare to
others, evaluating ourselves with images which aren’t even real sets us up for
failure. And our children don’t naturally have the perspective to know that
they are being set up to feel less than.
Not buying into the fantasy, the lure, etc… will help our children gain some
perspective.

Stress free meals
Mealtimes are not the times for arguments, tensions, or conflict.
Abstain from getting involved in power struggles around eating. Don’t nag
about eating or not eating.
If eating/not eating is about managing stress, nagging will only encourage
the behavior.

Offer genuine validation
that is non-weight focused
“I love you”
“You worked hard on that, and I’m proud of you”
“You are so kind/curious/understanding, etc”
”Let’s go for a walk together. I want to spend some time with you.”
“I overheard your dad talking to family and saying how proud he is about
how caring you are as an older sister”
“You looked like you had a great time singing on stage. It was fun watching
you!”
“I’m noticing that you’re making healthy decisions for yourself these days,
and it’s really great to see”
“It’s great self-care for you to be going to speak to the counsellor/getting a
massage/doing yoga, etc. Is there anything else you’d like to try that I can
support you with?”

What to do if you notice or they tell you they
have developed disordered eating patterns
If you overhear them purging or you know they’re lying to you when they say
they’ve already eaten, my first recommendation would be not to address the
issue right then and there.
You need time to think about what you’re going to say and it’s best to have this
type of conversation when both of you are feeling more calm, neutral, and
non-judgmental.
Set a private time and place to talk. Choose to have these conversations away
from the dinner table.
Use “I” statements to state what you’ve observed: “I’m not upset with you, but
I care about you and I’d like to know what’s bothering you. I overheard you
purging. I know that purging can be a sign of stress. Are there things that have
been upsetting or stressful for you?” or “I have noticed that you aren’t eating
dinner with us anymore. Is dinner time a stressful time?”

Talk about behaviors not related to food/weight. “You seem more
stressed.” “You don’t seem to smile as often anymore”.
Remove judgment- there’s no shame in admitting a struggle.
Offer support to go and talk to a counsellor; either in school or out of
school.
Avoid overly simplistic solutions. “Just eat” is not helpful. It can leave the
sufferer feeling frustrated/defensive/misunderstood.
Remain calm but proactive. Do not jump to conclusions, do not
catastrophize, but also do not ignore this issue. Your child needs to be
seen. If there is an issue, it’s important to address it.
What to do if you notice or they tell you they
have developed disordered eating patterns

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