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Collaboration, Not Confrontation Parents and Teachers Working Together
- 1. āCOLLABORATION, NOT CONFRONTATIONā Parents andTeachers Working Together
- 2. Respect is aTwo-Way Street
- 3. 7 Ways Parents& Teachers Build Partnerships Research shows that parents and teachers build partnerships that help children succeed when they: ā¢ 1) Engage together in meaningful dialogue ā¢ 2) Show mutual respect ā¢ 3) Actively listen to one another ā¢ 4) Collaborate on issues that affect student learning ā¢ 5) Empathize with one another ā¢ 6) Open themselves to learning from each other ā¢ 7) Involve students as responsible collaborators in their own learning ā¢ Source: http://mpricemitchell.visibli.com/share/f1VnHq āParent Engagement: A Paradigm Shiftā, Marilyn Price-Mitchell.
- 4. āCollaboration, Not confrontationā ā¢Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT recently held its 1st Back to School Special ~ āCollaboration, Not Confrontation ā¦Parents and Teachers Working Togetherā with a guest panel of teachers who work with high ability students.
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- 8. What comments serveas roadblocks to productive parent-teacher meetings? My child is BORED!
- 9. What the parentthinks they are saying ā¦ ā¢ My child is not being challenged
- 10. What the teacheris hearing ā¦ ā¢ Youāre not doing enough to help my child! ā¢ You are incompetent
- 11. The result ā¦ ā¢āIt closes the door to communication, immediately.ā ā¢ āHearing this from a parent does not help the conference be productiveā.
- 12. What should bedone on both sides ā¦ ā¢ Teachers should request more details. Sometimes it is about kids racing through material, but resisting going deeper. ā¢ It is important for parents to provide as much information as possible about why they feel this way.
- 13. What comments serveas roadblocks to productive parent-teacher meetings? When teachers say, āALL children are GIFTED!ā
- 14. What the parentis hearing ā¦ ā¢ Your child does not possess any exceptional academic abilities. ā¢ āYour child doesnāt belong in my class.ā ā¢ āIf heās so gifted, why canāt he ā¦ā
- 15. The result ā¦ ā¢Parent becomes defensive/offensive ā¢ Emotions take over ā¢ Communication breaks down ā¢ Too often damage is irreparable ā¢ Child may suffer consequences
- 16. What should besaid.
- 17. What parents shoulddo ā¦ ā¢ Educate yourselves about giftedness ā¢ Prepare notes to take to conference to rebut this statement ā¢ Remain calm ā¢ Realize when itās best to move the conversation forward
- 18. What comments serveas roadblocks to productive parent-teacher meetings? ā¢ Mrs. Jones, being a helicopter parent isnāt helping!
- 19. What is aāhelicopter parentā? ā¢ The parent who is always at the school and in the classroom; asking unnecessary questions. ā¢ They have 0% faith in the teacher before even giving them a chance.
- 20. What is ahelicopter parent? ā¢ The parent who sends multiple emails every week, who āpops inā after school, who questions every decision. ā¢ They trust neither their child or their childās teacher to do anything right.
- 21. What is ahelicopter parent? ā¢ The parent who āswoops inā when the child is finally being challenged and they donāt make a 100% or need to work to show mastery. ā¢ They are afraid their child will fail; they donāt let them advocate for themselves.
- 22. What is ahelicopter parent? ā¢ A parent who doesnāt leave the teacher the time and energy to do what you are asking.
- 23. What strategies haveyou, the teacher, used in diffusing tense situations involving parents? ā¢ Listen, listen, listen ā¢ Restate what youāve heard & listen ā¢ Listen for the story behind the emotion ā¢ Be genuine, respond to concerns ā¦ itās not a power struggle; itās a team effort.
- 24. What strategies haveyou, the teacher, used in diffusing tense situations involving parents? ā¢ Have detailed notes ā¢ Address issues as soon as they happen
- 25. What strategies haveyou, the teacher, used in diffusing tense situations involving parents? ā¢ Let parents know you are open to feedback. ā¢ Remind parents that their child is a āwork in progressā ā¢ Remember that parents may be intense ā intensity in students may come from home environment
- 26. What strategies haveyou, the teacher, used in diffusing tense situations involving parents? ā¢ Focus on the student. They are the reason you are talking. Sometimes people forget this. ā¢ Remember, we are talking about unusual kids; they arenāt like other students.
- 27. What is thebest way to resolve issues between teachers of gifted students & regular education teachers? Should parents get involved? ā¢ Ideally, teachers need to sort it out themselves ā¢ Teachers should sit down together. Professional discussion can diffuse tension. ā¢ Parents should only become involved if the student is being affected. ā¢ Parents should go to administration to avoid repercussions on their child.
- 28. What strategies canparents use to successfully advocate for their identified gifted child with teachers who are uncooperative? ā¢ Talk to the teacher directly; meet 1:1 ā¢ Focus on childās needs ā¢ If necessary, meet with teacher & administrator ā¢ If unresolved, request change of teacher ā¢ If principal uncooperative, change schools ā¦ FAST
- 29. What strategies canparents use to successfully advocate for their identified gifted child with teachers who are uncooperative? ā¢ Ensure that your child is doing what is needed in class first. ā¢ Ask specific questions about how class is helping student. ā¢ Document answers in case further action is required.
- 30. What strategies canparents use to successfully advocate for their identified gifted child with teachers who are uncooperative? ā¢ Consider why the teacher is resistant ~ Is it the extra work/effort required to challenge the student? Is it a lack of belief in the label āgiftedā? Is it personal dislike?
- 31. What strategies canparents use to successfully advocate for their identified gifted child with teachers who are uncooperative? ā¢ Take an advocate such as a psychologist to the meeting even if not recognized by district. ā¢ Plan in advance. ā¢ Write down proposed actions to be taken.
- 32. What strategies canparents use to successfully advocate for their identified gifted child with teachers who are uncooperative? ā¢ Find ways to be supportive of the school; bank goodwill. ā¢ This can result in positive things for your child.
- 33. What strategies canparents use to successfully advocate for their identified gifted child with teachers who are uncooperative? ā¢ Remember that you are modeling for your child on how to handle a less-than-perfect situation.
- 34. This was abrief glimpse of what a Twitter chat has to offer! Follow @gtchatmod on Twitter for the latest updates on #gtchat.
- 35. Thank you tothe Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented
Editor's Notes
- #2Ā Welcome. Introduce yourself.
- #3Ā Something to keep in mind. Teacher-Parent. Teacher-Student. Teacher-Teacher.
- #5Ā This chat showcased the potential of chats on Twitter as providing a place where opposing views could meet in a neutral setting without the drama inherit in real-life situations. I personally learned quite a bit from this discussion.
- #6Ā Our guest panelists were ā¦ Dr. Lynette Breedlove, TAGT President and district director of gifted programs for Spring Branch ISD; Mrs. Angie French, GT Specialist at Tomball ISD
- #7Ā Mr. David Sebek teaches GT students in the Fort Bend ISD outside Houston; and Mrs. Krissy Venosdale teaches 3rd ā 6th GT students in pull-out program outside St. Louis.
- #8Ā Mrs. Sharon Padget, HS gifted specialist/ELL teacher from Iowa, Mr. Ron Peck, HS AP History/SS teacher from Oregon & #sschat moderator on Twitter
- #9Ā This was the number 1 comment from teachers as to what not to say in a parent-teacher meeting. It is the number 1 comment I hear from parents.
- #10Ā In case youāre wondering ā¦ the person facing you is the teacher!
- #11Ā The chat on Twitter was a real eye-opener when considering parent-teacher relationships!
- #13Ā Remember ā¦ conversation is a two way street!
- #14Ā A comment that parents dread hearing!
- #15Ā These were all real-life comments heard by parents who participated in our chat.
- #16Ā Overexcitabilities are not the sole domain of gifted children.
- #17Ā Nothing. This phrase should not enter the discussion. Period.
- #18Ā Sometimes comments like these are made out of ignorance. One of the biggest issues in gifted advocacy today is lack of undergraduate courses for teachers in the area of gifted education. Your childās teacher may simply not understand what āgiftedā means.
- #19Ā This statement implies two additional, usually unspoken statements, āI know whatās best for your childā and āYou need to let me do my jobā. Parents during the chat complained about teachers talking down to them. Teachers need to remember that they are talking to adults and parents need to act like adults.
- #21Ā Teachers were especially unnerved by parents dropping by frequently without setting up a meeting. One other thing not mentioned in the chat ~ donāt discuss your child if you see the teacher outside of school for any reason. Keep school issues in school.
- #22Ā Itās important to remember that the age of the child affects the amount of involvement a parent has in their education. It is perfectly natural to be more involved when a child is young, but to allow the child to become increasingly more independent as they grow. They hopefully become self-advocates by the time they are in high school. Also, itās OKAY to fail! Even though you may think perfection is the goal, it is not. Donāt place this monkey on your childās back!
- #23Ā Teachers today work under tremendous pressure. Most, not all, want to do what will help your child realize their potential. Give them some breathing room!
- #25Ā Both parents and teachers should come to a parent-teacher conference well-prepared. If there is an issue, donāt let it go on too long.
- #26Ā I find it extremely beneficial to understand how the teacher is thinking ā¦ something that happened in our Twitter chat.
- #27Ā For younger students, you can bring a picture of your child to the meeting. For older students, bring your child and allow them to contribute to the conversation. Older students need to be āon boardā with any plan that is developed in these meetings or the entire process becomes meaningless.
- #28Ā Reminder ā need for mutual respect ā¦ teacher to teacher, parent to teacher, student to teacher.
- #29Ā This will not always be possible; especially in smaller school districts. Weigh all your options. Do not act on emotion. Make sure welfare of your child comes first. Trying to work with teacher ātooā long can be detrimental to your child. Opposition to gifted education may simply be a part of the school culture which often starts from the top down.
- #30Ā I always advise parents to document, document, document. Get answers in writing ā¦ use email, not phone calls.
- #31Ā You may not be able to answer all these questions, but they should be given consideration. Also, it may just be a matter of the teacher not knowing how best to serve the studentās needs. And some teachers have simply been worn down by the āsystemā and donāt feel they have time for things with differentiation in a testing-obsessed era.
- #32Ā I have seen this numerous times while working in my school district. Advocacy can force teachers to do things, but it doesnāt necessarily change attitudes on the part of the teacher.
- #33Ā This may be one of the hardest things to do, but it shows real character on the part of the parent and teaches a valuable lesson to children.
- #34Ā Your child is always watching you ā¦ and learning how to react to situations. Unfortunately, you may not realize this until they have grown up. Model the behavior you wish to see in them!
- #35Ā Please join us on Fridays at 6PM CT for Global #gtchat as we discuss topics chosen by you in a weekly poll and also learn from expert guests in the field of education.
- #36Ā Special thanks to JJ Colburn and Dr. Lynette Breedlove for believing in me and their unwavering support. Parents who are members of TAGT should be pleased with the outreach of your stateās gifted organization. It is considered one of the finest and most parent friendly in the nation! Are there any questions?