The Leader in You- Dale Carnegie - Book Summary

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SUMMARY
Dale Carnegie, in his book ‘The Leader in You’ refers to relationships as the
cornerstone of business development, not least fundamental because the
‘human-relations revolution’ is necessary. He suggests that in order to
survive in the business world, ‘their people will have to think quicker, work
smarter and dream wilder and relate to each other in very different ways…’
Carnegie suggests that this new culture requires a completely different breed
of leader, ‘the day has long since passed when a company could be run with
a bullwhip and chair…’ The type of leader he refers to will have to
communicate and motivate others using very different skills, compelling one
to be pre-emptive and responsive to constant change, and by making use of
the untapped and creative talent that exists within their workforce, central as
they are part of driving the business forward.
Carnegie may not have known how fast things would change, as they have
done so over the last 30 years, although he did leave a set of principles which
are just as relevant today, appropriate to the highly stressed, fast and
changing world. An interesting read detailing basic tools that any business
leader can apply practically:
- Look at things from the other person’s perspective,
- Offer genuine appreciation and praise,
- Harness the power of enthusiasm,
- Respect the dignity of others,
- Don’t be overly critical,
- Give people a good reputation to live up to,
- Keep a sense of fun and balance in your life.

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
We would like to express our deep gratitude to our course
supervisor “Mr. Muhammad Farrukh Aslam”
for granting us the opportunity to read this book and
understanding the qualities of leader. This book has helped us in
getting an insight of practical guidance to human relations and
leadership and to master leadership qualities without requiring
any specific degree in psychology or long studies in
management.

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Table of Contents
Chapter 1– FINDING THE LEADER IN YOU ....................................................................................4
Chapter 2– STARTING TO COMMUNICATE....................................................................................4
Chapter 3– MOTIVATINGPEOPLE...................................................................................................5
Chapter 4 – EXPRESSING GENUINE INTEREST IN OTHERS..........................................................6
Chapter 5– SEEING THINGS FROM THE OTHER PERSON’S POINT OF VIEW...............................6
Chapter 6 – LISTENING TO LEARN .................................................................................................7
Chapter 7 – TEAMING UP FOR TOMORROW..................................................................................8
Chapter 8 – RESPECTING THE DIGNITY OF OTHERS..................................................................10
Chapter 9 – REWARDS, RECOGNITION & PRAISE .......................................................................10
Chapter 10 – HANDLING MISTAKES, CRITICISM & COMPLAINTS.............................................11
Chapter 11 – SETTING GOALS.......................................................................................................12
Chapter 12 – FOCUS AND DISCIPLINE..........................................................................................13
Chapter 13 – ACHIEVING BALANCE.............................................................................................13
Chapter 14 - CREATINGA POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE..........................................................14
Chapter 15 - LEARN ABOUT NOT TO WORRY..............................................................................14
Chapter 16 – THE POWER OF ENTHUSIASM.................................................................................15

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Chapter 1– FINDING THE LEADER IN YOU
The first step of becoming a successful leader is to find the leader in you. He says A man become
leader not just because of title he holds or salary you earn. The thing which make you leader of
man and woman is how you interact with them. By becoming a leader, you help people to
achieve what they are capable of, to establish a vision for the future, to encourage to coach & to
mentor & to establish & maintain successful relation. Dale Carnegie says that majority of people
did not know the meaning of leader. You say “leader” and they understand a president, a prime
minister, a chairman etc. but the truth is that we all are leader in work we do. Every one of us has
a potential to be leader every day. A leader must first have developed a mental image of a
possible and desirable future state of the organization. The image which we call a vision may be
a vague as a dream or a precise as a goal or a mission statement. There is no one correct way to
lead. Talented leaders come in many personalities’ types. The best leadership technique is one
that will work best for you are the ones your nurture inside. Ask yourself, what personal qualities
do I possess that can be turned into the qualities of leadership.
Chapter 2– STARTING TO COMMUNICATE
Nowadays everyone is recognizing the importance of good communication. Every one of us is
communicating since our childhood. But effective communication is in fact done in adult world.
There are three basic concepts that can help you in successful communication.
 Make communication a top priority
 Be open to other people
 Create a receptive Environment for communication
Make communicationa top priority:
 All the brilliant ideas are useless if you don’t share them
 Communication never stops.
 The need for effective communication does not stop at office door. It extends to home,
hospital, school, college, university, mosque, church even to the halls of science.
 Communication occurs when two or more person meet.
Be open to others:
The biggest mistakes done by people are that all wisdom flowed from them. They failed to
understand that communication absolutely must be two-way street. You must share your idea and
listen to others. It is a famous saying. “We are interested in others whey they are interested in

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us.” It is easy to become isolated from customers, colleagues, communication still has to run in
all direction talking, listening, up, down.
Create a receptive Environment:
Everyone around us think and they want to tell you and they want to listen what are you saying
but it cannot be possible without a receptive environment. Receptive environment means putting
people at ease.
Chapter 3– MOTIVATING PEOPLE
Everyone wants a paycheck and a yearly bonus, but real motivation never comes from financial
benefit or from fear of to be fired. Real motivation only comes from feeling of importance.
People feel motivated if they think, they are an integral part of team. How can it be done as a
manager, recognizing subordinates, praise them, encourage them, include them, train them, ask
their opinion, let them make decision. Make them understand how valued they are, show people
that you trust, respect & care about them. Do that & you will be surrounded by motivated people.
You can never force your employ to perform extraordinary. They can perform extraordinary only
when they will want & people will perform like that only when they feel them as an important
part of organization. Successful leader today involves their employ in all aspect of work, process,
design, manufacturing, inventory, marketing,
Leader create team they never issue order from above. Leader understood a person who will
work can also make correct decision.
Treat people like people and this is the basic concept of motivation. Be nice with your people &
give them respect. Employs should be handled just like family.
The third concept of Motivation is Acknowledge a job well done. Employs expect your
appreciation when they perform well so don’t forget to praise your subordinates when they
perform well.

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Chapter 4 – EXPRESSING GENUINE INTEREST IN OTHERS
There is no better way to make people interested in you. People respond to people who are
sincerely in them. We tend to reciprocate their interest by showing interest
 Pleasant voice on the telephone
 When you meet someone greet them with pleasure
 Smile at people
 Learn their names & their pronunciation
 Remember their birthday
 Ak about their Husband, wife & their children
Don’t limit your expression to important people in your life. Never forget secretaries,
receptionist, assistant and all other underrecognized people. Showing interest are the
fundamental building block of successful human relationship. When you will start expressing
interest it will take you outside yourself & make you less focused on whatever your problems
are.
Chapter 5– SEEING THINGS FROM THE OTHER PERSON’S
POINT OF VIEW
“Step out of yourself to discover what is important for others.”
Striving to see things from the other person’s point of view is a vital principle for Dale Carnegie.
If we want to maintain better relations with anybody (our customers, our family, our friends),
then it is crucial to consider things from their point of view. According to Dale Carnegie, paying
constant attention to customer service is even a question of life or death for any business. It is a
necessity for a company to:
 Exceed customer expectations; keep one step ahead of them. A wise manager is always
thinking about what the customer will want in a few days, a few weeks or a few months.
 “Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes”, in particular when it comes to smoothing
out a difficult situation is not about giving the other person everything they want. It is
about making a genuine effort to understand what he or she really wants to, in order to
offer as much satisfaction as possible.
On this topic, Dale Carnegie said:
“If you help other people solve their problems, the world is your oyster.”

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Chapter 6 – LISTENING TO LEARN
“There is nothing more persuasive than an attentive listener.”
Leaders who succeed are often people who have learned the value of listening. Being a good
listener is the starting point for an efficient conversation and it demonstrates our respect for
others. It shows that we consider them important people. It is our way of saying: “What you
think, what you do and what you believe is important to me.”
Listening is always the best way to learn & to provoke a favorable reaction in others. Listening is
also a very powerful means of persuasion: it allows you to bring other people around to your
world view. According to Dale Carnegie, it works in the world of business, at home, and in every
situation, we encounter in life.
Active listening
Many people consider listening passive and talking to be active. Listening to someone talking is
passive, but genuinely listening in an effective and committed way is a very active exercise. In
fact, genuinely listening to someone is so much more than just hearing what he or she are saying.
Active listening requires total commitment to the conversation, even without answering. It
requires real involvement, with questions and encouragement. There are various ways to show
active interest in a conversation, such as:
 Nodding your head, saying “Mm-mh” or “I see”,
 A change in physical posture such as leaning forward,
 A smile or a movement of the head,
 Visual contact supported by a frown.
These are all ways to show the person talking to you: “I am listening attentively to what you are
telling me.”
“Goodlistening” is better than “goodtalking”
The secret to influencing others is not so much knowing how to talk but also knowing how to
listen well. Most the people try to win other people over to their point of view by speaking too
much themselves. Dale Carnegie invites us to let the other person express themselves fully. He
encourages us to let people tell us what is not working and to ask questions. If you do not agree
with them, don’t interrupt, they will not listen to you if they still have a lot of things to get off
their chest. Listen patiently, with an open mind. Be sincere. Encourage them to express their
ideas fully. They will not forget it. And you will certainly learn a thing or two.

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Chapter 7 – TEAMING UP FOR TOMORROW
“Team players are the leaders of tomorrow.”
For Dale Carnegie, the days of the large pyramid corporation are gone. According to him, this
structure does not work for governments or for conglomerates. We need a structure that turns its
back on the rigidity of yesterday to enable its members to act creatively and develop talent that
has remained fallow for years.
According to Dale Carnegie, the modern organization can no longer be of the type
boss/subordinate. It must be organized into teams, for two main reasons:
 Communication
With the establishment of cross-cutting teams, the production, customer service, human
resources and other departments can truly communicate. Divisions by departments are even
beginning to disappear in some forward-thinking companies.
 Success
People who work together can accomplish great things according to Dale Carnegie. What gives a
team special impetus is the concerted vision of its members. However, a leader is essential to
galvanize this energy. A leader will define the perspective, establish objectives, help each person
to understand the team spirit and show team mates the impact that each of their actions has on
the outside.
Leadership techniques to lead a team
According to Dale Carnegie, a good leader masters some basic techniques. He cites the
following:
 Create a shared sense of purpose.
A leader needs to focus on the ideas, the creativity , the intelligence, the energy of the group
members to clarify the vision, establish the goals, help everyone to understand what the team is
about, show the teams members how their accomplishments will impact upon the outside world.
 Make the goals team goals.
According to Dale Carnegie, a good leader must be able to define objectives that are team
objectives: “Unless the entire team wins, nobody wins”. In reality, good leaders always
emphasize how much each person’s contribution means. It is interesting to note, for example,
that many good coaches and good leaders often speak in the first-person plural: “we need to…”,
“our deadline…”, “the work that awaits us…”

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 Treat people like the individuals they are.
When people form a team, it does not mean that they erase their individuality. A talented leader
will recognize these individual differences, appreciate them and use them for the good of the
team.
 Make each member responsible for the team product.
In fact, everyone needs to feel that their contribution is decisive. It is essential not to insist that
things are done exactly how we want them done, but in the way that the team chooses
 Share the glory, accept the blame.
When a team works well together and succeeds, it is the leader’s responsibility to ensure that all
the team members reap the benefits (public congratulations, a bonus, an article in the company
newsletter, etc.). In contrast, when it comes to blame, Dale Carnegie advises us to take the
opposite attitude:
Never point the finger of blame and do not complain publicly about the weakest link in the chain.
Bear responsibility and accept whatever complaints come your way. Discuss with the members
of the team about how the results could improve and encourage them to do better in the future.
 Take every opportunity to build confidence on the team.
A good leader must really believe in his or her team and share that faith with all the team
members. When they get compliments from others, they can begin to see the progress they are
making and changes in themselves. And they just feel wonderful about themselves.
 Be involved, stay involved.
A good leader has to be available, whatever happens. After getting enough experiences, doing
enough hardworking he should develop an intuitive feel for it.
 Be a mentor.
The mission of the leader consists of developing and strengthening the talents of the members of
his or her team. It’s a leaders’ job to ask questions to his team members about how, where &
what they want to see them in future and use whatever knowledge or experience he posses to
help team members to achieve those goals.
The greatest reward for a leader, the greatest legacy he or she can leave, is a group of people
with the talent, the confidence and the team spirit required to become leaders themselves.

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Chapter 8 – RESPECTING THE DIGNITY OF OTHERS
Burt Manning, the chairman of J. Walter Thompson company says: To win, the secret is:
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”
More specifically show respect for others and they show respect for you. According to Dale,
 The first is a basic one “Put yourself in other person’s place”
They’re also human beings as you’re. What matters is treating people with respect, a
small gesture of “good morning”, “thank you”, “I care about you” create a positive
environment and people feel respected thus perform at highest level. You’ve to give
respect if you want to get it back.
 The second step of golden rule is: “Treat your employees like your colleagues not
your servants”
Some managers failed as leaders because they tend to abuse people verbally, they try to
demand respect by ordering, but people rarely respond to intimidation.
 The third step to golden rule “Engage people and encourage their co-operation”
People don’t want their opinions to get ignored. They want to be involved. What they
want is a feeling of importance.
 The last step is: “Humanize the organization in order to create the workplace of
dignity”
The idea to retain at the end of this chapter:
“Genuine respect for other people is the most reliable motivator”
Chapter 9 – REWARDS, RECOGNITION & PRAISE
“Sometimes the praise, recognition & rewards a person receives change his whole life”
A little bit of recognition i.e. the recognition of efforts is often all it takes to transform a good
employee into a great one. Dale said, why don’t we use the same thing when trying to change
people? Why don’t we use praise instead of condemnation? Even though a slightest one, that
inspire the other fellow to keep on improving. Some find it difficult to distribute well deserve
praise, it’s so simple and the value it brings in unbelievable.
Rewards: It’s not about the money, bonuses or the financial kind. Although money matters a
great deal, but people care about other rewards too. People want to be involved when they know
someone will listen. They do accomplish amazing things when they know their participation is
being recognized and respected.
The most important thing to recognize publicly that what makes people appreciated. Rewards,
recognition, praise it doesn’t matter how you do it what matter is you do it again and again.
Money is wonderful but it is not the only effective reward. Florence said,

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“Our words should be like a present”
“Human beings work normally for financial compensation, but they go extra miles if they
are recognized, praise and rewarded”
Chapter 10 – HANDLING MISTAKES, CRITICISM &
COMPLAINTS
There’re two fundamental facts about mistakes,
- We all make them
- We’re more than happy to point them out in others but we hate it when someone points them
out in us.
According to Dale, mistakes are a part of life, to spread this,
 The first step is to create an environment where people are open to receive advice or
constructive criticism. One sure way to get this message across is to “admit you own
mistakes” Setting the example is very important.
 The second step is “think twice before you criticize or assignblame”
If the person made a mistake and already feeling guilty then there is no need to say
anything. There is no point in making people feel worse than they already do. The point
is avoiding the blame game.
Dale said, try to convert complaints intro requests and suggestions. The real goal is to
improve the situation. People who always receive harsh criticism are less likely to be
creative.
 There’s an exception for criticism, sometimes people need to be criticized constructively
but only if the need is urgent enough mistakes are made often then criticize but “criticize
respectfully” that’s actually a third step.
Dale Carnegie said,
“The process of criticism should begin with praise and honest appreciation”
“Rapidly admit your mistakes, put the brakes on your criticism. Above all, be
constructive”

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Chapter 11 – SETTING GOALS
A goal gives an idea of the future or desired result that a person or group plans and commits to
achieve. It helps us to keep our efforts focus and allow us to measure goals. Having a goal is like
having a map. We know where we are heading, and this gives us motivation and more energy to
achieve goals.
 Set realistic, stimulate, clear and measurable goals:
According to Harvey Mackay,
“A goal is a dream with an expiration date.”
Dale Carnegie encourages us to set goals that are both stimulate and realistic, clear and
measurable, for the short term and for the long term. In his view, these goals offer us a target to
keep in our sights. They also allow us to measure our successes.
 Set small and intermediate goals:
Most major challenges are met when the target goals are part of a series of intermediate
objectives. Setting small goals is in fact a process that both encourages and motivates.
The method recommended by Dale Carnegie is the following:
o Set yourself small objectives and reach them. Then move on to new and slightly
bigger objectives.
o In the end, what counts is to keep on planning, to set goals and to act in order to
reach those goals.
 Set priorities in objectives
Once our objectives have been determined, we now need to ask ourselves what the most
important goal in our eyes is. The biggest challenge is what comes next when it is time to
organise your time and mobilise your energy to apply these priorities.

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Chapter 12 – FOCUS AND DISCIPLINE
“Where your focus goes your energy flows.”
Have a clear objective in mind that you want to achieve. Believe in yourself, persevere, and take
care not to get distracted. In business, in a family, in sport, in politics, follow these simple rules
and your chances of success will be fabulous. Our capacity to focus on an objective makes the
difference between those who succeed and those who fail. This applies to any area of activity. He
believes that to get what we want in life we have to believe in ourselves and be determined to
fight to get it. It is important to persevere, to try again and again.
Dale Carnegie puts it this way:
“Patience and perseverance will accomplish more than a brilliant mind. Remember this when
things go wrong”. Don’t let anything or anyone discourage you. Persevere. Never give up. This
is the one rule of almost everyone who ever succeeded. It goes without saying that there will be
times when we feel discouraged. What counts is overcoming difficulties. If you can do that, the
world will be yours.
“Leaders never lose their focus. They keep their eye on the target.”
Chapter 13 – ACHIEVING BALANCE
It is vital to balance your life and to leave time to do something other than work. We will
experience more happiness and personal satisfaction. It also gives us more energy, more focus
and more professional efficiency and make us happier, healthier and as a result a better leader.
Dale Carnegie brings up the idea that life balances on several legs, like a stool: one for family,
the others for friends, hobbies and health.
This is where Dale Carnegie brings up three principles in order to better balance our life and to
become a better leader:
 Devote a lot of time to your family, to physical exercise and to leisure activities.
 Put as much energy into planning your leisure time as into your working day.
 Get involved in activities outside your professional life.

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Chapter 14 - CREATING A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE
'Positive thoughts can remake you’
According to Dale everything is within your thoughts, that makes you what you are.
Change your thoughts and you change your world. He said everything happens according
to your own projection. So always think positive because the power we hold in our heads
is the way reality can be changed. People are more disposed to help us, if we are positive,
and they dislike and avoid anyone broadcasting negativity. Positive thoughts bring
positive results. So, free your mind from the fetter of negative thoughts. Hundreds of
things can worry you. So, if you are feeling down, Dale Carnegie said Do feel positive,
because positive feelings don’t only help you to achieve your goal, but also make other
people want to be associated with you.
Positive tone, showing others that failure isn’t even a possibility. Always remember one
thing, nothing happens to you, it happens for you. See the positive in the negative events.
Chapter 15 - LEARN ABOUT NOT TO WORRY
According to Dale worry is the most alarming problem facing humanity. Dale spent many
years studying about worry. In 1944 his book published about “how to stop worrying and
start living”. In his book the tactics to cope up from worrying were laid. These tactics are:
 How-to live-inday tight compartments
 Revisiting what happened in the past and thinking about future often results in worrying.
So do focus in the current day because today is our most precious possession.
 Using the law of average
 Weighing all the facts then after coming to a decision and get busy carrying out your
decision.
 Cooperate withthe inevitable
 “Be the warrior not the worrier”. Instead of worrying about what you cannot control,
shift your energy to what you can create.
 Put a stop loss order on your worries
 Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it anymore.
 Keep things inperspective
 Trying to please others will cause us to stop thinking our worries.

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 Finallyget busy
The last tactic to avoid worrying is to keep busy yourself. Do engage yourself on a work.
Despite all these tactics still you will have problems so do accept the inevitable instead of
getting worried yourself and try to live with it because sooner we learn to adjust with it.
Chapter 16 – THE POWER OF ENTHUSIASM
“You can do anything if you have enthusiasm”
The power of enthusiasm plays a vital role to achieve a goal. The important thing is to be
enthusiastic and transmit this power to others. When your own mind is vibrating at a
higher rate, because it has been stimulated with enthusiasm that vibration registers in the
mind of all within its radius. Whatever it is that you’re trying to accomplish, enthusiasm
will give you the energy that you’ll need to keep running all the way to the finish line.
DALE said that enthusiastic people feel passionate about life, about knowledge, and
about work. They do everything with a good attitude and good energy and achieve their
goals. However, those people who have skills, but they accomplish nothing because they
are unenthusiastic. That’s why Dale highlighted the importance of the power of
enthusiasm in life, if you have it so you will transmit it to anyone.
“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm”.

The Leader in You- Dale Carnegie - Book Summary

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