The Russo Legacy: Introduction

Well hello there! This is the first chapter of The Russo Legacy. I’m your creator, narrator, and friend…..Jared [insert last name]. Please, the round of applause is highly unnecessary. Honestly…cut it out!Ahem, the picture above shows our wonderful founder Iris Russo. I flipped a coin on whether or not our founder would be a boy or girl. I really wanted it to be a guy…so I just gave her androgynous features…I think she turned out nicely.Iris is a knowledge sim, with a LTW to become Chief of Staff. Her personality is 5/5/5/6/5 and she’s a Taurus. So she’s strong willed but sort of laid back. And pretty darn smart. Red hair, gray eyes, yeah.

It’s pretty charming, no?Heh…wait till you see the inside.

Oh yeah. We are going to have so many parties.“Its not so bad.” (that’s Iris talking….)It’s not so bad for me. I’m not living there.

So, Iris…why don’t you tell the readers why you’re doing a legacy.“Well…I’m an orphan. I’ve been in the foster care system since I was a child. I finally just became too old, nobody adopted me. As soon as I became and adult, I went out on my own.”And you saw my ad for a Legacy founder in the Sim Times.“Yeah. I was living off the streets downtown anyway. Starting a legacy didn’t seem so bad. It would give me a home and a few simoleons, right?”And I’m here to document all of it. Now…if that paperboy would hurry and drop of the newspaper, then you could look for a job.

Come on, paperboy…Iris needs a job!By the way, the neighborhood Iris lives in is The Moon Islands (or something to that extent). It’s still “under construction”.

There you are paperboy! I was almost worried.“Uh…I’m a girl.”Really?“Yes!”Huh…interesting.

“Hello, I’m Iris Russo. Sorry, my friend there is a bit weird. He’s artistic…so he looks at the world differently.”“I guess I understand. I’m Amy! I’ll be your papergirl.”It was an honest mistake…Iris: “Right.”Amy: “It’s alright. Us short haired androgynous girls have to stick together!”(Second time using that word! Let’s go for three!)

Is there an opening in the medical track?“Nope…just Gamer, Education, and Slacker.”Oh, that’s a bummer. Well, maybe tomorrow there will be an opening.“Maybe.”

Some visitors arriving to welcome Iris to the neighborhood!In order: Marisa, Benjamin, and Brandi“Goodness, they all look so preppy…is all that pink necessary?”Iris, be nice. Hey! Potential husband coming your way, eh?“Um…”

“Hi, I’m Benjamin Long. But you can call me Ben Long…or just Ben.”“Ben Long? Is that some sort of sex joke that—”Iris! Be. Nice.“Excuse me?”“Uh..nothing. So which one’s your girlfriend?”“Neither. They’re just old friends.”Iris, you can be so rude…

Then she randomly did this.She’s got two bolts for him. He’s not a hideous sim I guess. Whatever. I don’t really care about the looks.I like how Brandi and Marisa are just standing there awkwardly.

He likes her back, apparently. :D

Yeah…I can hardly explain. She said goodbye to him. Their relationship score was only at like eleven. I really don’t understand why this happened.Let’s just pretend it didn’t for the sake of the story.

Tired already? It’s only 3 pm.“No…that Marisa girl was talking to me and she bored me so much with her talk of hair dye and plastic surgery.”She’s got plastic surgery!?“On her nose, pervert.”Ahem…that’s what I was thinking of!“Of course.”Hey looks like you got another visitor…

“Oh no…”Oh no? What’s wrong?“That’s Joe Carr!”And…?“I know him!”How?“He went to the same high school as me. God, he was such a jerk. I bet he still is.”Go over and talk to him! This could be interesting.

“Hey, Iris! Long time no—oh…hey, what’s that right there?”“What’s what Joe—”

“Boing!” *flicks nose*“Ugh! Joe!”“I’m honestly surprised you fell for that. Aren’t you supposed to be really smart?”“Right. Stupid of me to think you actually grew up over the years.”“Never. They don’t call me Peter Pan for nothing.”“What? Nobody calls you that…and what are you doing here?”“Just heard you were back in town…”

“Well, if you have nothing of value to say to me right now, you can just leave.”“Maybe I just wanted to see your pretty face again.”“Stop being such a jerk!”“I pay you a compliment and you insult me. Things haven’t changed, I see.”“Leave. Now.”“All right, you fiery little ginger.”

“Oh, and, by the way…you might want to stay away from Benjamin Long. He’s trouble.”“I’m sure he’s far less trouble than you.”“Trust me, Iris. He’s not a good guy.”“Whatever, you probably just have some enmity towards him.”“Okay. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“It was really nice seeing you again, doll face.”“Don’t call me that!”“Okay, doll face.”Yeah…he’s a jerk. 

“What’s a three letter word for enemy?”Um…foe?“No! JOE.”You’re still upset, I see.“Upset? Me? No. I’m perfectly fine. Now what’s a three letter word for a pest?”Uh…a nit?“No…Joe!”Ugh. I’m so glad I don’t have any sisters.

“Honestly, I don’t understand why he’s even like that!”Aren’t you supposed to be reading…?“And his stupid pompadour hairstyle…what is he, some Edward Cullen slash Elvis wannabe?”They’re both white…“AND, did you hear how he called me doll face? TWICE. Ugh. He probably has nothing going for him. He’s probably some slacker who has no job or any prospects. And if he thinks he can just waltz up to my house at any given moment, he’s incredibly wrong!”

Seriously?“What?”That’s your…never mind.“I don’t have enough money to buy those fancy silk nightgowns. And I’m not some fan service girl, either! I’m keeping it real.”I wasn’t saying that! The bunnies look nice on you…“Wow, Jared.”Right. Good night.

Why are you up at 7 in the morning digging a hole?“I’m trying to find an ancient Indian Burial Ground.”Really?“No. I’m trying to find something valuable that I can sell, like a secret map.”No…we’re keeping those if you find one.“Ugh, fine.”

What’d you find?“A rock!”…“Hey, I can still sell it.”I’m sure it’ll be worth millions. “Skippy the Stone” 

Job?“No. Surely the hospital could use a new EMT.”Maybe tomorrow.“I need to get out of the house. Come on.”Where?

Where are we going?“To the mall.”You have no money to shop.“I’m looking for someone.”Ben?“How’d you guess?” *smiles*Yay, romance. Woo.

*yawn*(Seriously, try not to yawn when looking at this picture)“He’s not here.”You could’ve called him.“I didn’t want to seem desperate.”Hey, Brandi’s here. Go ask her if she knows where Ben is.“Good idea.”Of course it’s a good idea. It’s a fantastic idea.

“Hey, Brandi. How’s it going?”“Hi, Iris! It’s going pretty well. How are you today?”“I’m good. Listen, I was wondering if Ben hangs out around here…”“Ben? At the mall? Ha!”“Huh?”

“Look, I can’t really say where Ben is. Or what he’s doing for that matter. I don’t necessarily speak to him like that.”“Really? He told me you were old friends.”“Oh…did he? I guess you could say that. Look, go ask the barber Watson about Benjamin. They’re really good friends.”

“Okay…uh..thanks Brandi.”“Oh, and Iris. Try not to get too close to Ben.”“Why not?”“He’s…never mind.”“Okay…well, see you around.”“See ya.”

“You have got to be kidding me…”Just go talk to Watson (I’m making up his name because I don’t remember it). You don’t even have to speak to Joe.“All right. Thanks, Jared.”What are friends for?

“Hi, I’m Iris. You’re a friend of Benjamin’s, right?”“Oh goodness, what has that man done now?”“Excuse me?”“He’s always got someone looking for him.”“Really?”“Yeah. He’s trouble.”

“I’m kidding!”“Oh, haha! You had me going there!”“No, Ben’s just a guy with a bad reputation built on rumors. I’d explain further…but we’re in the presence of bad company.” *glances at Joe*“Ah. Right.”“Ben’s usually home past four. Why don’t you give him a call. Here’s his number.”“Thanks, Watson.”

Iris, you don’t have to speak to him…“You know, you’re probably the biggest liar I’ve ever known.”“You know, women usually say I’m the biggest they’ve ever seen…”“Ugh. And you’re a pig.”“Oink.”

“Why did you lie about Benjamin?”“I didn’t lie, doll face.”“He’s not trouble at all. Watson told me so.”“Watson is getting paid by that loser to keep his mouth shut.”“More lies.”

“Iris…baby, if I’m lying, I’m dying. Benjamin’s not a good guy to be messing around with.”“Oh really? And what has he done that’s so horrible. Stolen a lawn gnome?”“More like he has a serious gambling problem, not to mention he throws some of his baseball games so people he owes money can win bets. The last girl he was with—Brandi? Yeah, they were engaged, and he used all their wedding money up within two weeks. Not to mention he has anger problems.”“Why do you have to lie about people?”“You know what, Iris? Forget it. I tried.”

Later on…“Bye-bye, eighty-seven simoleons.”You’ll get that job tomorrow! I know you will.“Do you think Joe was telling the truth?”Nah. Benjamin seemed like a nice enough guy.

Even more later on…“Hello?”“Hey, Iris. It’s Joe.”“What do you want?”“Don’t hang up, okay? Uh…I feel really bad about seeming like such a jerk, so I just wanted to make it up to you.”“How?”

“Wanna go on a date with me?”“WHAT!?”“Oh, come on, doll face. You know you want to.”“I would NEVER go on a date with you. Besides, Benjamin is coming over right now.”“Iris, will you leave that guy alone?”“No. He’s nice and attractive.”“Just because his last name is long, doesn’t mean—”“Bye, Joe!”

“Hey.”“Hi, Iris. How was your day?”“It was…interesting.”Understatement.“Ahem! No, I just ran into a few people today.”“Oh, yeah? Who?”

“Well, I met your friend Watson at the mall. I was sort of looking for you…he gave me your number.”“Watson gave out my number?”“Is that a problem?”“No! No! I’m just surprised he’d do that. Who else?”“Uh…Joe Carr.”“…I’m sure he had something to say about me, right?”“It’s nothing, Ben. He was lying.”“No he wasn’t.”

“And you know what, if you’re going to be sneaking around behind my back to figure out things about me, there’s really no point in me talking to you anymore.”“Ben…what are you—”“I don’t have a gambling problem! I’m perfectly fine.”“I didn’t say you did!”“Yeah, right, whatever. All of you are trying to come after me.”“What?!”Yeah…what? (then he left…)

Later on that night…“You know, Jared, I pictured spending time with Benjamin a little differently.”So Joe was right. Go figure.“I thought he was going to be sweet and we’d probably kiss.”Can you write this in your diary or something…? I don’t want to hear all the details of your fantasy.

“Sorry…”Iris, I was just joking.“Just…leave me alone, please?”Okay…goodnight.“Night.”

“Oh, hey. I applied to be an EMT.”Really? That’s awesome. So you start tomorrow?“Yep.”Hey…Iris?“Yeah?”I wasn’t trying to be mean last night—“It’s okay, Jared. I was just in a bad mood.”Alright, friends again!

“What, you came to tell me ‘I told you so’?”“No. I just wanted to see you, is all.”*rolls eyes* “Right.”“So, did he flip out or something?”“Yeah. He’s really paranoid, actually.”“That’s because fifteen hustlers want him for Cowplant Milk.”

“Fifteen?”“Somewhere around that number.”“I think he’s really pissed at you.”“Benjamin’s an idiot. He’s not that tough, either.”“Why’d you warn me about him?”“I’d warn anyone about him.”“But you hate me.”“No…you hate me. Remember?”

“Well, you don’t make it easy for me to like you.”“When are you going to learn that I’m simply teasing you?”“When you actually do something nice.”“I did do something nice!”“What?”“I warned you about getting involved with a bipolar gambler who could have possibly driven you into his dark little world. That’s pretty nice, isn’t it?”“I guess.”

“Iris, you’re wounding me!”“I’m joking. Thanks for the heads up.”“You didn’t believe me, though.”“Whatever. I believe you now.”

“Anything for you, doll face...”*they stare at each other for a few seconds*Iris: “Uh..um…It’s raining! We better go inside!”“Yeah, hurry!”(Yes. Thank you Sims 2 seasons for raining when I wanted it to.)

“Joe, you’re gonna get soaked if you don’t hurry!”“I’ve got sandals on!”“And I’ve got on heels!”“Touché!”

“Man, I haven’t ran like that in years! I’m out of breath.”“At least your not dripping with rain like me.”“Oh, no…you’re hair!”“Very funny.”

“Maybe this will fix your hair, though…”“Joe, you better not!”Where’d he get a pillow?!

“Take that, Iris!”“Ow!”…ugh. This looks cute….ughguhgugh.

“What goes around, comes around, Joe!”“Oof!”So…how is everyone doing? Good? Cool. I’m having a blast watching two grown adults have a pillow fight. I hope you are. 

“Put my pillow back on the bed, will you? Gosh, it’s still raining outside. It’s pretty bad out there.”“Mind if I stay here until it stops?”“Uh…sure, n-no problem.”“Heh, you nervous about something?”“No. Why would you say that?”“No reason…”

They sat and talked about stuff. I was too busy listening to music, so I didn’t really record what they said. More like I didn’t care.But Iris was laughing and Joe was smiling and they looked pretty happy.

“The rain seems to be lightening up…”“You want me to leave already?”“I just—”“And here I thought I was gonna get lucky and spend the night with you.”Hey, the jerk is back! Hi, jerk! Can I have your autograph?

“Joe, seriously? I can’t believe you just said that.”“Oh, come on, Iris. It was a joke! Besides…your bed’s too small.”“You know, for some reason, when I’m around you, I lose all my senses and let you constantly fool me. You pretend to be nice and charming, and then you say things like that! Who does that? I should’ve told you to go home a long time ago. I was actually starting to believe you changed, but you know, you’re exactly the same as you were in high school. A low down, deceitful, lying, stupid, moronic, pig that has no respect for—”

“Ouch! Iris, did you just bite me!?”“What the hell did you kiss me for!?”“To get you to shut up for once. You didn’t have to bite me!”“You had my arms pinned, I couldn’t push you off!”“Geez…am I bleeding?”“No…you’re not…”*they stare at each other some more*

Alright.And I’m not saying that in a Quagmire-like fashion. I’m saying that in a monotone.

Joe: “Er…the rain stopped.”“Huh? Rain?”“I better get going…”“Um, okay. I’ll see you later?”“Of course.”Am I the only one confused here? No? Okay, cool.

I don’t really have anything to say for this slide.Um…but for some reason…the song “A Whole New World” from Aladdin just popped into my head.Must. Stop. Writing. In. Female. Perspective.

Later on that evening…Is that from Joe?“No..it’s from Ben…”Don’t get your fingerprints on it! That could have been made with money he owes to some hustler!“What? I’m just going to throw it away.”It’d be better if you incinerated it.

Iris went to sleep pretty happy that night.Joe better be a good guy…

First day of work! Alright! Things are looking up for you, lately.“Yeah. I’m finally getting my feet to move forward.”Have a good day, Iris!

So…guess who also wants to become Chief of Staff.Did not know that….at all. Coincidences over and over again.And he managed to get her promoted! Pretty good.

So, she asked him to move in.He added 3000 to the house. We’re rich now. 

3000 simoleons, plus Iris’s (Iris’ ?...Irises?) bonus money from her promotion and her salary got us this. We have an actual stove now! :DAnd a tv, along with a bigger bed, and a bathroom. But no table to eat at. Oh well. And I used the little bit we had left for flooring. They’re still poor.

They both fell in love with each other after he moved in.Fact: They have zero bolts for each other.Opinion: It does not matter.Twist ending-esque question: Or does it!?I’m sleep deprived. 

“Joe, what are you doing?”“Something I’ve been dreaming about since high school…”“What?”Guhgughugghg. I hate romance. Gahhhhh.

“Will you marry me? I want to be a part of your legacy with you.”“Oh, Joe! Yes! I will!”Love loveloveloveloveloveKiss kisskisskisskissRomance romanceromanceromance.Growl.

And that concludes the introduction! Yes, it’s still called the Russo legacy. Joe took on Iris’s (again, I don’t know how to make that possessive) last name.Because we’re progressive like that, and we don’t let old masculine tradition get in our way.Now, I’m going to go cry a little bit…because I’ve been writing in Iris’s (ugh!) voice too long, and I’m starting to get all attracted to Joe…and that’s weird. Tune in for babies in our first actual canonical chapter! ANDROGYNOUS! (yusss)

The Russo Legacy: Introduction

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The Russo Legacy: Introduction