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Trust self and others
The document discusses the importance of trust and how to build self-trust and trust with others. It identifies four core sources of building self-trust: integrity, intent, capabilities, and results. It then provides guidance on developing each of these sources, with a focus on integrity, intentions, capabilities, and getting results. Key behaviors for building trust with others include assertive communication, showing respect, transparency, admitting mistakes, giving credit to others, delivering results, continuous learning, confronting reality, clear expectations, accountability, listening, follow-through, and extending trust to others. The overall message is that trust is essential for teams and relationships, and it is developed through consistency, competence, and character.
Trust self and others
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- 2. Self Respect/Trust • “Selftrust is derived from your abilities and your capacity to set and achieve goals and keep commitments. If you walk your talk, then you'll feel good about your actions. That inner- sense of contentment and consistency then makes it possible for you to be worthy of the trust of others. Credibility is derived from four core sources which you should seek to build: (1) Integrity; (2) Intent; (3) Capabilities and (4) Results”
- 3. Building Self Trust (1)Integrity (2) Intent (3) Capabilities (4) Results
- 4. Integrity • Congruence –acting in ways which harmonize completely with your personal beliefs and values. People with congruence are the same inside and out, in private and in public. • Humility – being more concerned about what is right than being right, about acting on good ideas rather than defending a position, about recognizing contribution instead of worrying about being recognized. • Courage – the intestinal fortitude to do the right thing, even when it’s hard and may have some kind of personal cost involved in one way or another.”
- 5. Developing Integrity • “Getinto the habit of making and then keeping personal commitments to yourself – which in practical terms means you probably should make less commitments, not more. Don’t make commitments impulsively but treat each as an important undertaking. • Stand for something bigger than yourself – perhaps by creating a personal mission statement which articulates what you want to be known for. Then show by your actions you want to stand for the right things. • Be candid and open – never be afraid of looking at new and different ways to get the right things done. Have the humility and courage to admit you don’t know everything and learn from others. This creates the kind of trust which underpins your personal integrity.”
- 6. Intentions • “Motives –your reason for doing one thing and not another. The motive which will inspire the greatest amount of trust is when you genuinely care about the well being of others. • Your agenda – what you intend to achieve. The agenda which inspires the greatest amount of trust is generally seeking for mutual benefit and win-win outcomes. • Behavior – whether your actions show you don’t care. The noteworthy behavior which always inspires trust is acting in the best interests of others. When you do that, you show definitively what your motives and agenda are.”
- 7. Improving Intentions 1. “Pauseand examine your motives – and if necessary refine and improve them. Most rational people want to act with good intentions and make good things happen so pause regularly and check what you’re doing actually aligns with those good intentions. 2. Declare your intent out loud – so others cannot misconstrue what you’re attempting to do. Vocalize your goal so people know what to look for. Just make certain you’re honest in doing this, because people can spot fakes a mile away. 3. Always choose abundance over scarcity – meaning there is enough for everyone so don’t begrudge others their fair share. If you go out of your way to see that others do well from their dealings with you, your personal credibility will soar.”
- 8. Capabilities “Am Irelevant” • “Your capabilities are your unique personal blend of talents, skills, knowledge, capacities and abilities which enable you to perform with excellence. Capabilities inspire trust and generate self- confidence. To remain credible over the long haul, you should anticipate your personal capabilities will need to be upgraded and enhanced on a regular basis.
- 9. TASKS • Talents –your natural gifts and strengths. This will be those things that just come naturally without any great effort or input on your part. • Attitudes – your ways of getting things done. The paradigms and mental models you habitually use will influence the way you see the world and yourself. • Skills – your proficiencies or the things you do exceptionally well. Skills can and should be overhauled and upgraded periodically to remain relevant.
- 10. TASKS • Knowledge –your learning, insights, understanding and awareness levels. Obviously increasing knowledge is vital and profitable in today’s global knowledge economy. • Style – the way you approach challenges combined with your personality traits. There is wide variance in the most effective styles in business, which is good.
- 11. Increasing you Capabilities •“Identify your strengths and work hard at leveraging those areas – so you end up feeding your opportunities for excellence and starving your potential for mediocrity. It’s always better to build on your strengths rather than spending time and effort attempting to compensate for your weaknesses. • Keep yourself relevant – by engaging in lifetime learning. Think of your formal education as a crash course in how to keep learning for the rest of your life and then put that ethic into action. The more you know, the greater your career options and opportunities will be. • Know exactly where you’re going – so others will feel confident about following you. Credible leaders inspire others by demonstrating their competence coupled with character. People always want to be inspired rather than compelled. Find ways to make this happen.
- 12. Results • “Results matter.They give you clout and classify you as a “producer” rather than a “good talker”. Unless and until you have a solid track record of reaching your milestones and tangible goals, you will have little or no credibility and almost certainly no meaningful trust. 2 Questions • “What tangible results am I generating day-in and day-out? • How am I getting those results”
- 13. Results • “Always takepersonal responsibility for your results rather than your activities – and apply your own creativity in finding the best ways to achieve the desired results. If you don’t get the results you want one way, try something different. Never use the excuse: “Well, I did what you told me to do!” Taking personal responsibility for results builds your credibility even when things don’t go entirely to plan and is always well worth doing. • Expect to win each and every time – and prepare accordingly. People always tend to get what they expect. If you expect to win and everyone on your team believes the same, then you actually help bring that about. • Learn how to be a strong finisher – because results are always all about finishing. There will always be plenty of reasons to quit but the simple fact is all achievers finish what they start. They stay the course and find a way to get through, even in the face of unforeseen difficulties. This is what character, credibility and ultimately trust is all about.”
- 14. The Five Behaviorsof a Cohesive Team
- 15. 2015-02-24 15 Five Behaviorsof a Cohesive Healthy Team Trusting relationships: the foundation to all team work Engage in unfiltered passionate debate: Willing to have CONFLICT Commitment: End conversations with clear understanding on what has been agreed upon Accountability: Hold each other accountable for the choices made Results The measure of a great team is that it accomplishes the collective results that it sets out to accomplish
- 16. 2015-02-24 16 A Un-healthyTeam Team “pitfalls” The Absence of Trust Fear of CONFLICT Conflict avoidance Lack of Commitment Avoidance of Accountability Inattention to Results Status and ego Low standards Ambiguous language Artificial Harmony Invulnerability
- 17. 2015-02-24 Aidrie SpringsDental 17 Everyone would like to be the best, but most teams lack the discipline to figure out with egoless clarity what it really takes to be the best, and then find the will and determination to do whatever it takes to turn the potential into reality.
- 18. The Question • Doyou want to take the blue pill or the red pill? • Do you want to be the blue team or the red team? Absence of Trust Trust 2015-02-24 18
- 19. Team 1. You onlywin as team 2. Team is a way of being not just what you do 3. Team is a way of thinking 4. Team is a way of behaving 5. Team is a new way of seeing 6. Team is an egoless way of playing 7. Team is my motivation “We are family”
- 20. TRUSTING my Team •“There are 13 Behaviors which high- trust leaders and other high performers throughout the world tend to use to behave consistently. If you can pick up on these behaviors, the same benefits can accrue to you as well as you increase trust”
- 21. Get Talking (AssertiveCommunication) • Straight talk • “Always be honest and up-front about what you’re thinking. Tell the truth and let people know where you stand without putting any spin on it. If you make your agenda clear and call things as they are, you demonstrate personal integrity and build trust.” • It’s easy to manipulate a situation by leaving out the parts of the story which are embarrassing. This distorts things and creates an environment where everything takes longer than it should. Avoid that by getting to the point quickly, by making your points simply in plain language and by letting everyone know where you stand.”
- 22. Get Authentic (ShowRespect) • “Respect the dignity and feelings of everyone you come into contact with. The mark of a great person is he or she treats everyone even-handedly, especially those who will never be in a position to do something for them. Show kindness in your personal interactions. • Showing respect requires that you do the little things well. Simply saying “please” and “thank you” are factors. You have to be genuine and consistent. This is one area in particular where you can’t act one way at home and a completely different way at the office. There must be consistency for trust to grow. Don’t fake caring for people, but be genuine”
- 23. Get Clean BeTransparent • “f you’re completely open about the facts, you can build trust fast. Always tell the truth in ways people can verify for themselves. If there is a question, err on the side of disclosing too much rather than too little. This is the only way you can demonstrate to everyone there are no hidden agendas at work here.”
- 24. Get Honest (RightWrongs Quickly) • “When you end up being wrong, work very hard at making things right. Acknowledge your errors, apologize and make restitution where possible. If a customer is involved, provide them with exceptionally generous “service recovery” packages. People will respect your willingness to set things right almost as much as they will admire your confidence and candor in accepting responsibility for the problem. • When you’re prepared to set things right, you demonstrate humility and courage in action. You also signal to others they don’t need to cover up their mistakes. That can create a company culture which directly and beneficially has an impact on your organization’s bottom line.”
- 25. Get Dependable (ShowLoyalty) • “Always give credit where it is due and acknowledge the input and contributions of others. Speak about people as if they were present at all times and avoid criticizing. That helps everyone feel confident their own contributions will be respected irrespective of what the future holds. • If you ever feel a need to bad-mouth someone, have the courage to go to them and discuss your concerns openly and candidly. Above all, never disclose private information others have entrusted you with. Be loyal.”
- 26. Get Busy (DeliverResults Always) • “Establish a track record of getting the right things done. Be proactive in making things happen rather than letting everything move along with its own momentum. Do what you were hired to do. This will require clarifying your objectives up front and then coming in within budget and on time. The only practical way you’ll do this consistently is if you avoid overpromising and under delivering. Be known as someone who gets things done.”
- 27. Get Better CANI •“Keep upping your game by increasing your personal capabilities. The only way you’ll do that is by continuing to learn more. Develop some formal and informal feedback systems which will let you know how you’re going at this. Always act on the feedback you receive. Don’t consider that your current levels of skill and knowledge will be sufficient for tomorrow’s challenges. It’s smart to always keep learning more”
- 28. Get Real (ConfrontReality) • If you’re the person who addresses the tough issues and acknowledges what is unsaid, people will automatically trust you more. Be courageous in your conversations. Don’t skirt the real issues but dive into them directly and openly. Doing this consistently builds confidence in your abilities because others will see you don’t bury your head in the sand. • Never be afraid to deliver bad news. People will respect your willingness to confront the realities of uncomfortable facts.
- 29. Get Clear (Stateexpectations) • “Always discuss your expectations so they are clearly defined. It’s very easy for two people to be discussing the same outcome and to come away with entirely different versions of what is required. Avoid this by forming a clear agreement on what is realistic and then validating your intermediate results to ensure there is still common understanding and alignment. • If you need to renegotiate your outputs, do that earlier rather than later. Then move heaven and earth to meet expectations. The best time to disappoint someone is right at the outset of the arrangement when deadlines are discussed, not later on when loads of other follow-on events are waiting for the trigger event to get started.”
- 30. Get Help (BeAccountable) • “To be trusted, accept that the buck stops with you. Hold yourself just as accountable as you want to hold others. Take personal responsibility for everything that goes on – the good, the bad and the just plain ugly. • The only way to do this is by being clear on how you will communicate with others how things are going. Create agreements with others which have set reporting requirements and then follow through. Don’t try and offset personal responsibilities, blame others or even point fingers when things go wrong. Square your shoulders, take a deep breath and then say, “I am responsible for that”.”
- 31. Get Quiet (ListenFirst) • “Trust grows by leaps and bounds when you get into the habit of listening before you speak. Understand what’s being communicated and diagnose with empathy. Listen with your eyes and your heart to the people you work with. Never assume you have all the answers until you’ve had the opportunity to ask lots of questions and seek clarification.” •WAIT • Why am I talking?
- 32. Get Committed (FollowThrough) • “The quickest way to destroy trust is to say one thing and do another. And conversely, the most powerful way to enhance and build trust is to say what you’re going to do and then follow through and do precisely that. The only way you can do that long-term is by being careful and deliberate about what you commit to do. • Make keeping commitments the symbol of your life, both personal and professional. Never fall into the trap of breaking a confidence or attempting to fudge your way out. Make your word your iron-clad commitment and trust will soar.”
- 33. Get Generous Give Trustto Others • “To earn trust, demonstrate your ability to trust others. Extend trust abundantly to those who have earned it. Extend it conditionally to those who are still in the process of earning it. Err on the side of being too trusting rather than withholding your trust in others. • Over time, you’ll learn how to appropriately extend trust to others based on the demands of the situation, the risk and the character and the competencies of the people involved. Make learning how to do this a priority because to be trusted yourself, you have to learn how to trust others.”