Ways to Get Along Adolescent

Ways To
Get Along With My
Adolescents

Objectives of the Session
 Explain the ways of living effectively with your
adolescents in the context of your personal
experiences;
 Realize your strengths and shortcomings in
relating with your adolescents; and
 Develop a plan for improving your relationship
with your adolescents.

 Opening Activity:
 Drama in Real Life: Love Can Wait
 Kim, a 4th yr medical student is 2 mos pregnant, Her
parents are strong advocates of Responsible Parenting and
have been conducting trainings on the topic for years. Thus,
when Kim got pregnant, they ask themselves, “Where did we
fail as parents? Since childhood, Kim’s ultimate dream was to
be a doctor. She wants to pursue this dream despite her
condition and decides not to marry her boyfriend, Gerald.
 a. How do you feel going through that simulated painful
situation?
 b. If that happened to you in real life situation, what would
be your reaction/s?
 c. What events in your life have made you feel bad as a
parent?
 d. As a parent, what have you realized from the activity?

 During the teen period,
it is common for parents to doubt their
abilities as parents. Oftentimes, the parents
feel that things are no longer working out. It
is like they woke up one day to feel this
invisible wall and meet this “stranger”.
 If you are in this situation and feel this way,
you are not alone [“Hindi ka nag-iisa”].

 For most parents, adolescence is a
challenging time.
 This a period wherein they are constantly
searching for identity, seeking
independence, developing intimacy and
establishing individuality.

 The good news is that as your teen
journeys through adolescence, there are
guides or tips which can help you and your
teens not only to survive this challenging
period but to enjoy it and grow closer
together.

1. Give your time
 The important ingredient of time together is
quality, not quantity.
 An hour of positive relationship is worth more
than several hours of conflict.
 As parents, you may often feel overwhelmed
with all your responsibilities. It is important to
remember that the most valuable gift you can
give is your regular, undivided attention.

 If you are experiencing guilt or in denial, you
need to work through that and set aside
specific times to be with your adolescents.
 The presence of either one or both parents in
their school activities or in the community
make adolescents feel they are equally
important and special.
 Show that spending time with your
adolescents is something you value and look
forward to.

 This will ensure that you both develop
strong bonds with your children and will be
in a position to effectively influence them.
 Recent studies have indicated that the
biggest threat to family life is lack of time.
 Most families suffer from never spending
enough time together.

2. Keep talking/Stay connected
 Adolescents are bundles of emotion. The
drama, mood swings and emotional outbursts
drive their parents crazy.
 If your adolescent gets moody and does not
want to talk, give him or her some room to be
alone - - - for a while.
 Even if you have trouble understanding each
other, keep the lines of communication open.

 Talk about things that are
important to your adolescents.
 This will make it easier and more
comfortable for your adolescent to open up
about sensitive subjects like sex, HIV/AID
– sexually transmitted infections,
alcohol/substance abuse, love, dating, etc.

3. Be consistent, firm and fair
 Set firm boundaries and be consistent in
enforcing them.
 After explaining the reasons, we open the floor
for discussions. Once a rule is made, get them
to agree and follow it.
 Parents should remember that there’s a
difference between “negotiating” and
“manipulating”. Manipulation is taking with no
legitimate giving.

4. Use positive discipline
 Discipline is not the same as punishment.
 According to studies, physical punishments
such as hitting, slapping and verbal abuse
ar enot effective. While such punishment
may seem to get fast results, in the long
term, it is more harmful than helpful.
 Parents should stress more on
DO’s rather than DON’Ts.

 Discipline is a necessary step in preparing
them for adulthood. It helps them shape
their standards of behavior or NORMS
[“pamantayan”].
N urture desired values
O bserve common rules that everyone
lives by
R ecognize limits, boundaries and natural
consequences of their actions
M aintain positive relationships
S elf-protection

5 C’s for positive discipline
 Be Clear
 Be Consistent
 Be Calm
 Be Creative
 Be Caring

5. Lighten up
 Parents need not consider every
conflict with your adolescents a cosmic battle
between good and evil.
 Keep a good sense of humor. There are
plenty of times when things get heavy, so
seize the moments to laugh out loud together.
 Remember, when it comes to things, “a
cheerful heart is a good medicine”.

6. Admit mistakes
 As parents, we want to be “right”. To
always be in control and never surrender
the reigns of authority.
 Parents think that once they openly admit
their mistakes or shortcomings to their
adolescents, they thought that they will
lose respect on them or their authority will
be undermined.

 Do not just say “I’m sorry”, tell your
adolescents what specifically you are sorry for.
 By doing so, you are teaching them about
mutual respect.
 Asking forgiveness will help restore
relationship with your adolescent and nurture
respect.

7. Pray
 Pray for wisdom to know how to parent the
child you have been given. Keep praying with
your adolescent.
 Simple Guide on how to pray:
A doration
C ontrition
T hanksgiving
S upplication

 It is important that parents
should reach out to their adolescents.
 Parents and adolescents can prevent
misunderstandings, disagreements,
frictions, irritations, incompatibilities or
animosities by growing, discovering,
exploring and enjoying each other
together by being open, spontaneous,
honest and truthful.

“There are only two lasting bequests we
can hope to give our children. One of
these is roots; the other, wings.”
Hodding Carter

Ways to Get Along Adolescent

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