Social Skills Quotes

“Without active listening, you can not adequately contribute to civil discourse.”
― Milan Kordestani, I'm Just Saying: A Guide to Maintaining Civil Discourse in an Increasingly Divided World

“In a sense, trust is simply a stronger, more grounded version of faith.”
― Milan Kordestani, I'm Just Saying: A Guide to Maintaining Civil Discourse in an Increasingly Divided World

“Intellectual honesty means pursuing the truth regardless of whether or not it serves your interests or goals.”
― Milan Kordestani, I'm Just Saying: A Guide to Maintaining Civil Discourse in an Increasingly Divided World

“Fierce love speaks to the energy that flows through a relationship. Energy keeps a relationship vital.  Fierce denotes a powerful energetic force that is present in our conversations, during lovemaking, even during a relaxing game of cards. We see our relationship as a living breathing being, a being with a pulse, needs, and a purpose.  Your job is to keep this being fed, energized, and vitally alive.  ”
― Susan Scott, Fierce Love: Creating a Love that Lasts---One Conversation at a Time

“I don’t think we talk enough, as a species, about how ridiculously difficult it is to make basic conversation. People act like it should be fun, but it isn’t. It’s like playing tennis, and you have to stay permanently perched on the balls of your feet just to work out where the ball is coming from and where it’s supposed to go next. Is it their turn? My turn? Will I get there fast enough? Have I missed my shot? Did I just interrupt theirs? Am I hogging the ball? Is this a gentle back-and-forth rally, just to waste time, or would they prefer one of us to just smack it into the corner?”
― Holly Smale, Cassandra in Reverse

“No one completes us.  No one is our missing piece, our other half.  We complete ourselves or fail to.   No one else could be successful in that role because each of us is utterly unique.  There isn’t another “you” anywhere on this planet.  If you somehow feel incomplete, the answers aren’t out there somewhere.  The answers are in the room.  You have them.  ”
― Susan Scott, Fierce Love: Creating a Love that Lasts---One Conversation at a Time

“Why, oh why doth people gazeth into their damn'd phones in a restaurant when there is good fayre and wond'rful company to be enjoy'd?”
― Kevin Ansbro

“Your name?" George asked him directly. He had probably seen the man a dozen times before yet did not know anything about him. King Davit would have no doubt have known half the man's history already.
"Henry."
George took Henry's hand firmly in his own and looked into his eyes. This had to be done delicately, to make sure this Henry did not think him a fool. He tried to think of how his father would do it.
"Thank you, Henry, for your concern. It is a comfort to know I am so well guarded. I will make sure to praise you when next I speak to the lord general. But for now I think there is no need to worry.”
― Mette Ivie Harrison, The Princess and the Hound

“I am sick with
my own self-judgment
masquerading as my assumptions
about other people’s judgments of me.”
― Vironika Wilde, Love and Gaslight

“Being openhearted is a prerequisite for being a full, kind, and wise human being. But it is not enough. People need social skills. We talk about the importance of “relationships,” “community,” “friendship,” “social connection,” but these words are too abstract. The real act of, say, building a friendship or creating a community involves performing a series of small, concrete social actions well: disagreeing without poisoning the relationship; revealing vulnerability at the appropriate pace; being a good listener; knowing how to end a conversation gracefully; knowing how to ask for and offer forgiveness; knowing how to let someone down without breaking their heart; knowing how to sit with someone who is suffering; knowing how to host a gathering where everyone feels embraced; knowing how to see things from another’s point of view.”
― David Brooks, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

“[A]lthough I well know
how hard it is for a man of genius with a seriously underrated subject to
maintain serene and kindly relations with the men who underrate it, and who
keep all the best places for less important subjects which they profess without
originality and sometimes without much capacity for them, still, if he
overwhelms them with wrath and disdain, he cannot expect them to heap
honors on him.”
― George Bernard Shaw, Pygmalion

“Whatever advice you read or hear, remember that you do not have to accept how the extraverted three-quarters of the population defines social skills—working the room, always having a good comeback, never allowing "awkward" silences. You have your own skills—talking seriously, listening well, allowing silences in which deeper thoughts can develop.”
― Elaine N. Aron, The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You

“A key to whether friendship is good is: Who am I being in this connection? Do I like me? (Never mind do I like you!) Am I liking how I'm showing up? Does this feel good to me?”
― Sonia Choquette

“One who tolerates little, has to tolerate the most.”
― Raheel Farooq

“In these meetings Palandine was teaching me how to use my eyes and ears in a manner that complemented the teachings of Calyx and Mila.

“And you have to use that wonderful smile of yours more often, Elim.”

“What’s that got to do with listening?”

That was the subject, and Palandine had typically made a jump in logic I couldn’t follow. She also forgot that I was a Cardassian male and smiling was not one of our strong features.”
― andrew j robinson

“What did he mean? What does he want me to share with him? What was the correct response? I wish people would just tell me what it is I need to say to make them happy with me instead of constantly expecting me to guess.”
― Holly Smale, Cassandra in Reverse

“I am no longer able to pretend that I am not the problem here. I can­not delude myself into thinking that I am the victim, the un­deserving casualty of bad romantic luck, the poor princess tied to a rock in chains against her will.

I am making the rock, over and over again; they are my chains.

Thanks to my new gift, I am literally watching myself repel my future boyfriend away from me over and over again, and it’s making me wonder just how many people I’ve done this to in my life already, without even realizing it. How many people have I repelled with the wrong word in the wrong tone at the wrong time, with a hostile or blank facial expression, an in­ability to make eye contact? How many people were supposed to be in my life before I accidentally sent them spiraling away?

And it’s this realization—that it’s my problem, and therefore one that I can solve—that snaps me out of it.”
― Holly Smale, Cassandra in Reverse

“How do people do this? How do total strangers weave conversation back and forth like this without tying themselves up in knots? How do they know what to say next? More importantly, why? It's like watching a musical where they all break into the same dance without rehearsing it first: totally inexplicable.”
― Holly Smale, Cassandra in Reverse

“Not everyone obsesses, analyzes, struggles to let go and move on. Not everyone holds on to every single social interaction with their fingertips in terror, as if dangling off a cliff's edge.”
― Holly Smale, Cassandra in Reverse

“The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, i understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what NOT to do”
P. 264”
― Augusten Burroughs, Running with Scissors

“A deep question asks about someone’s values, beliefs, judgments, or experiences—rather than just facts. Don’t ask “Where do you work?” Instead, draw out feelings or experiences: “What’s the best part of your job?” (One 2021 study found a simple approach to generating deep questions: Before speaking, imagine you’re talking to a close friend. What question would you ask?)


A deep question asks people to talk about how they feel. Sometimes this is easy: “How do you feel about…?” Or, we can prompt people to describe specific emotions: “Did it make you happy when…?” Or ask someone to analyze a situation’s emotions: “Why do you think he got angry?” Or empathize: “How would you feel if that happened to you?”


Asking a deep question should feel like sharing. It should feel, a bit, like we’re revealing something about ourselves when we ask a deep question. This feeling might give us pause. But studies show people are nearly always happy to have been asked, and to have answered, a deep question.”
― Charles Duhigg, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection

“Looping for understanding, until you understand what someone is feeling.


Looking for what someone needs: Do they want comfort? Empathy? Advice? Tough love? (If you don’t know the answer, loop more.)


Asking permission. “Would it be okay if I told you how your words affect me?” or “Would you mind if I shared something from my own life?” or “Can I share how I’ve seen others handle this?”


Giving something in return. This can be as simple as describing how you feel: “It makes me sad to hear you’re in pain,” or “I’m so happy for you,” or “I’m proud to be your friend.”
― Charles Duhigg, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection

“Jot down the things you have learned that have changed your life.

to winning a debate; persuasive speech works better than persuasive arguments.

Discover how to argue using the Socratic technique.

Don't make direct arguments.

If someone dislikes you, ask them to do you a favor. They will repeat it after they have done it. (For example, borrow a book from them.)

For a clearer context, convert poems to text and vice versa”
― Benjamin Franklin, The Autobiography and Other Writings

“The highest level of maturity is knowing how, when, and what to say to whom.”
― Saad Jatoi

“Most parents wouldn’t dream of handing a biscuit tin to their child every day and letting them help themselves to as many biscuits as they want. But many parents don’t think twice about giving their child unregulated access to a digital device”
― BJ Beatty, Unplugged Parenting: How to Reconnect with Your Teen and Break Screen Addiction Without Power Struggles, Punishment, or Losing Your Mind

“Pick up artists, and doing pick up it wasn't about harassing women. Being sex offender and etc.
(Please don't take my words out of context.)
It was when the nerd guy in school learn tricks how to be a social cool guy.”
― Deyth Banger, How to Talk to Anyone

“Social hacks, pick up it works. On this one, you should trust me or go do it for yourself. If you want to get more results, you need to do so.
Open more sets!”
― Deyth Banger, Talk and More

“In this age of creeping dehumanization, I’ve become obsessed with social skills: how to get better at treating people with consideration; how to get better at understanding the people right around us. I’ve come to believe that the quality of our lives and the health of our society depends, to a large degree, on how well we treat each other in the minute interactions of daily life.

And all these different skills rest on one foundational skill: the ability to understand what another person is going through. There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.

That is at the heart of being a good person, the ultimate gift you can give to others and to yourself.”
― David Brooks, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

“Our social skills are currently inadequate to the pluralistic societies we are living in. In my job as a journalist, I often find myself interviewing people who tell me they feel invisible and disrespected: Black people feeling that the systemic inequities that affect their daily experiences are not understood by whites, rural people feeling they are not seen by coastal elites, people across political divides staring at each other with angry incomprehension, depressed young people feeling misunderstood by their parents and everyone else, privileged people blithely unaware of all the people around them cleaning their houses and serving their needs, husbands and wives in broken marriages who realize that the person who should know them best actually has no clue. Many of our big national problems arise from the fraying of our social fabric. If we want to begin repairing the big national ruptures, we have to learn to do the small things well.”
― David Brooks, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

“Why, over the past two decades, have we seen this epidemic of loneliness and meanness, this breakdown in the social fabric? We can all point to some contributing factors: social media, widening inequality, declining participation in community life, declining church attendance, rising populism and bigotry, vicious demagoguery from our media and political elites.

I agree that these factors have all contributed to produce what we are enduring. But as the years have gone by, I have increasingly fixated on what I see as a deeper cause of our social and relational crisis. Our problem, I believe, is fundamentally moral. As a society, we have failed to teach the skills and cultivate the inclination to treat each other with kindness, generosity, and respect.

I realize the phrase “moral formation” may sound stuffy and archaic, but moral formation is really about three simple, practical things. First, it is about helping people learn how to restrain their selfishness and incline their heart to care more about others. Second, it’s about helping people find a purpose, so their life has stability, direction, and meaning. Third, it’s about teaching the basic social and emotional skills so you can be kind and considerate to the people around you.”
― David Brooks, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen