Revenge

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/42631278.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: M/M
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marauders Era - Fandom
Relationship: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Regulus Black/Remus Lupin, wolfstar -
Relationship, Moonseeker/Moonwater, Regulus Black/James Potter,
Barty Crouch Jr./Evan Rosier, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Character: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Regulus Black, James Potter, Peter
Pettigrew, Lily Evans Potter, Emmeline Vance, Barty Crouch Jr., Evan
Rosier, Severus Snape
Additional Tags: Revenge, Revenge Sex, Break Up, Wolf Instincts, Angst, Anger,
Werewolf Remus Lupin, Hurt Remus Lupin, The Prank, Brothers, Best
Friends, best friends brother, Friends With Benefits, Marauders era,
Sirius Black is a Little Shit, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders,
same sex, Blow Jobs, Regulus Black Deserves Better, Regulus Black
Lives, wolfstar, Top Remus Lupin, Past Sirius Black/Remus Lupin,
Sirius Black Loves Remus Lupin, Regulus Black & Remus Lupin
Friendship, Moonwater, Morally Grey Remus Lupin, Angry Remus
Lupin, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Regulus black loves
Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin Loves Sirius Black, james potter loves
himself, Drama & Romance, Drama, Black Family Drama (Harry Potter),
I Will Go Down With This Ship, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter
Friendship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Panic Attacks, Gay Panic,
Everyone Is Gay, Fights, Jegulus, James Potter Loves Regulus Black,
Unrequited Love, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Character Death
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of Revenge
Collections: Favoritos variados HP, Novel fanfics, Wolfstar AUs
Stats: Published: 2022-10-25 Completed: 2023-03-20 Words: 106,817
Chapters: 28/28

Revenge
by Siriuslymoonyprongs

Summary

After ‘The Prank’ Remus Lupin absolutely hates Sirius Black. As Sirius fights for Remus’
attention and forgiveness, Remus notices the tamer, younger Black brother and finds a new
way to cope with his complicated feelings about Sirius. He knows he can make Sirius hurt
the same way he did…just call him Taylor Swift, because there’s nothing Remus does
better than revenge.

And then I carried on writing after Remus’ revenge bc I don’t have any willpower
Notes

See the end of the work for notes

 Chapter 1

Remus had to bite his tongue as the traitor stole glances across the common room. He looked like a
wounded puppy, acting as if he had been shot but it was Remus who had been hurt, not Sirius. He
continues to write his essay on healing properties, not showing any emotion across his face even
though on the inside he was raging like a bubbling fire- ready to erupt and scorch Sirius. It had
been just over a month since it took place and Remus still couldn’t find it in his heart to forgive his
former lover.

The last full moon had been a disaster as a result, Remus absolutely did not want Sirius there, so he
didn’t come. Moony, however, wanted Padfoot and put up quite a fight for poor Prongs. James had
to use his stag strength and antlers to keep Moony tame whilst Wormtail hid in a hole in the wall-
too afraid to come out until Moony gave up and went to sleep. Remus had been quite injured from
the brute force of Prongs pinning him against the walls of the shrieking shack or flinging him
across the room to assert dominance. Despite all that, despite the injuries inflicted on him and the
pleading from Sirius himself, Remus still wasn’t budging and still didn’t want Sirius at the next
moon. He had decided rather stubbornly he would rather tear his own flesh from his bones than be
anywhere near the Black heir. He hated Sirius Black more than he had ever loved him.

Remus could have killed Severus Snape. It made him feel ill whenever he saw the Slytherin boy
roaming the corridors. Not only did Severus now know Remus’ biggest and darkest secret but
Remus had the knowledge Sirius cared more about revenge on Severus than he did about his own
boyfriend. Seeing the devastation on Sirius’ face as he dumped him, hadn’t been enough. It wasn’t
satisfying enough because it hurt Remus too. After three years of pining after him and a year of
dating in secret.. it probably hurt Remus more than it hurt Sirius. Remus had always loved harder,
had always loved more and often excused Sirius’ lack of PDA to his upbringing.

James and Peter had been on Remus’ side, both of them stopped speaking to Sirius entirely for a
month. James cracked after the last full moon though, supposedly Sirius was worried sick and
when Remus didn’t return to classes the following day as normal- he knew it had been a bad moon
and James couldn’t keep Sirius in the dark like that. James was always destined to crack first, Sirius
was the brother he never had, especially after he moved in with the Potters over Christmas.

Peter had always been a follower. He always did whatever James did but miraculously he lasted an
extra two days longer than James. He eventually spoke to Sirius because James was hanging
around with him again, whilst Remus was recovering. Once back from the hospital wing though,
James and Pete made it clear that they were still on Remus’ side but didn’t want to fight with Sirius
no more. Remus couldn’t argue with them for that he had no control or jurisdiction over whom the
other two were friends with. It was fine at first, there was a balance there but soon enough, James
had started to coax Remus into forgiving Sirius.

“I’m not fucking ready to forgive him! Alright?!” Remus had snapped, his nostrils flaring and fist
curled, “He could have cost me everything!”

James gulped and nodded quickly, dropping his head sheepishly, “I..I’m sorry Moony.. I just miss
how it used to be.”

“Me too.” Remus admitted in a small whisper, “But it will never be the same. I’ll never forgive
him.”
Remus had thrown himself into his studies, spending obscure amounts of time in the library in an
attempt to avoid his friends. He didn’t want to make James choose who he spent time with, so
Remus felt it easier to stay away and distance himself. He found himself subconsciously worried
for Sirius’ welfare, he figured his ex probably needed their friends more than he did. Remus was
used to handling things alone or losing himself in a good book, finding himself in another world far
away from his own.

On the occasions he allowed himself to look at his ex, he had to force himself to look away as the
guilt crept up. Sirius looked like utter shit. He looked exhausted and weak, much like Remus did
after a full moon but this was Sirius freaking Black. Sirius always looked like sex on legs, he was
so naturally and effortlessly beautiful that seeing him look rough..well, it made Remus feel even
worse. Sirius had no right to be walking around as if he was wronged.

Part of Remus wanted to forgive Sirius, he really truly did but if he did.. then Sirius would just do it
again. Somehow he would do something worse, another lesson not learnt. He would do something
reckless again something to harm someone else he was supposed to love and care about. Remus
couldn’t just let it go. He couldn’t just let Sirius get away with another idiotic and selfish act.
Remus had to teach him a lesson, he had to get revenge.

When it came to pranks, they always worked together as a team. Ordinarily, one of them would get
an idea then work together as a group to finalise details and plans then James or Remus would do
the hard parts. It was no secret that Remus excelled in most subjects and had less trouble learning
new spells or whatever for their marauding. Remus had done a few minor things since the incident
to inconvenience Black’s day like make his homework disappear or transform his uniform to be the
wrong house colours. They didn’t anger Sirius or anything, he just took it on the chin and shrugged
whenever he got a detention for not handing in his work or laughed whenever McGonagall
reprimanded him for wearing someone else’s tie.

In Sirius’ mind, at least Remus still knew he existed. He didn’t mind being humiliated or serving a
thousand detentions because Remus was the reason why. Remus had gone out of his way to make
Sirius’ day harder and in his fucked up mind, it was something. He had to cling onto whatever
piece of Remus he could have because losing him had been the worst thing that ever happened.

Sirius watches from the corner of his eyes as Remus packs up his things and heads out of the
common room door. He hesitates before standing to his feet, promptly being pulled back down
onto the red sofa by James who shakes his head. Sirius sighs, laying his head on the back of the
couch and closes his eyes to hold off the tears. He had never fucked up so badly in his life. The
worst part was there was no excuse or reason or logic, he had just done it. His anger at Snape had
simply overpowered his love for Remus. It had been made abundantly clear that this was not
something Remus was ever going to forgive, but Sirius had to keep hold of the hope, however false
it was. It was the only thing keeping him going.

Remus flings his bag onto the table, unpacks all his reading materials and parchment and settles
down. The chairs in the library were not the most comfortable, but he planned to spend the entirety
of Saturday hiding away from the ex boyfriend. The Marauders map was hidden at the bottom of
his bag and the other three would never think to look for Remus here. The Library was his safe
place, his sweet escape from a living hell.

Most of the students avoided the library all together, especially on the weekend as a result Remus
was granted access to the restricted section. He had found the books in there fascinating, even
exciting at first but then the curiosity wore off. He had too much to do to ensure he passed his final
exams, he wanted nothing but the best marks in everything. To Remus, succeeding at his exams
was proof he was more than just a monster. He was more than just a weapon. It proved he was
capable and smart, it was proof that if things were different then he could do a many wonderful
things with his life.

Peter watched from the stands as Sirius and James threw the quaffle back and fourth. They weren’t
practicing or anything, they were just helping Sirius to relax. He wished he was a decent flyer just
so he could be part of whatever it was they spoke about up there. Peter knew it was a lot to do with
Remus and he hated not being able to help.

“What is it?” James asks coming to a stop in front of Sirius who had stopped throwing the ball.

Sirius gripped his broom tighter with his free hand as his shoulders drop sadly, “Would it really be
such a bad idea?” He asks quietly, “I could win him back.. if I just tell him-“

“Padfoot.” James says sternly cutting him off, “He couldn’t be more clear..I think pushing it is the
last thing to do because it’ll just push him even further away.”

“But James we always talked about it..” Sirius says sadly, “Getting married after graduating..doing
the Unbreakable vow because of the stupid homophobic laws. We had it all planned and if I could
just-“

“Padfoot.” James repeats with a slightly sterner tone, “You are not proposing to your ex
boyfriend.”

”He wasn’t my ex when I got the ring.”Sirius mutters, deciding to toss the quaffle and end the
conversation there.

Logically he knew James was right. James Potter was rarely wrong but it didn’t make it any easier
to listen to. Being separated from Remus hurt worse than the cruciatus curse. Every single day it
hurt to breathe, it was as if his heart couldn’t beat without the werewolf in his life. If he could
somehow prove that he really truly loved Remus, then he could fix it. He could get his wonderful
boyfriend back again. Get their future back.. the only future he had ever wanted and dreamt about.

Remus looks across the library as someone slams a heavy book down on the table. It makes his
head throb as the lasting affects of the bad moon take shape. Madam Pince shushes the offender
before turning back to reorganising the shelves. Regulus Black rolls his eyes behind her back,
before settling down and flicking through the book. Remus finds himself staring at the younger
Black brother, an odd feeling washing over him as a plan forms in his mind.

Regulus would be the perfect way to get back at Sirius. He shakes his head, turning his attention
back to his own studies. It was by far the worst idea he had so far. Yes, he wanted to hurt Sirius but
the relationship between the Black brothers was already so complicated and fucked up. Remus
hardly needed to add to that..unless..

He strolls across the library, planting himself in the seat opposite the younger Black sibling.
Regulus looks up from his reading, raising an arched brow at the intruder. He looked so much like
Sirius it was actually kind of scary. They both shared the same black locks, except Sirius had chose
to grown his to his collarbones and Regulus maintained his, keeping it short and fluffy. Their eyes
were both chilling icy grey, Remus felt the goosebumps appearing on his arms as he stared back at
Regulus.
”Can I help you?” Regulus asks in a low husky voice that leaves Remus feeling oddly flustered.

His cheeks burn red and his own eyes widen with panic as he splutters, “Revenge.” He clears his
throat awkwardly, “On your brother..I was wondering if you wanted in?”

Regulus leant back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest as he studied Remus for a long
moment. He ran his tongue along his bottom lip as he considered what Remus was asking then
smirked.

“What do you have in mind, Lupin?”

 Chapter 2

Regulus can’t help but laugh. He knew his brother hated the idea of him dating but the entire idea
was absurd. Remus wanted to fake date Regulus to get back at Sirius? It didn’t make sense, as far
as he was aware Sirius didn’t even notice Regulus’ existence anymore anyway. Remus raises both
of his eyebrows in an unamused way, Regulus stiffens under the stare- it was actually rather
intimidating.

He clears his throat, “Why though?”

“I don’t know if you noticed or not, but your brother and I..”Remus swallows harshly, “We’re not
on speaking terms.”

Regulus nods, “It’s all anyone is gossiping about, even precious Potter wasn’t talking to him until a
week ago.” He leans closer with curiosity, “What did the bastard do?”

“What hasn’t he done?” Remus mumbles bitterly, this gets a murmur of agreement from Reg.

“What I don’t get.. is why fake dating me would be perfect revenge?” Regulus says, “He’s way
past caring about if I date or not, he’s stopped threatening every girl or guy I speak to.”

“It’s an act.” Remus shrugs confidently, “Of course he still cares.”

“And you’re willing to risk him punching you for it?”

Remus scoffs, Sirius could try but even when the moon wasn’t nearby, he still attained many of the
benefits- such as strength, strong sense of smell and hearing. Sirius knew this too, it would be his
funeral if he tried to beat the werewolf up. Regulus squints at the older boy, there was definitely
more to all this. Whatever Sirius had done directly affected the man in front of him and he could
sense Remus’ bitterness over it.

“What did he do to you?”

Remus inhales sharply, he couldn’t actually tell the younger Black brother without exposing his
biggest secret, “What did he do to you?” He fires back with a curious expression.

Regulus huffs out another small laugh, “Touché.”

“Just think on it and let me know.” Remus shrugs as he gets out of his seat.

As he walks back to his abandoned books, he wonders what Regulus is thinking. The idea of
Regulus agreeing was foreign, he genuinely didn’t see it happening but the off chance he did made
Remus both excited and terribly anxious. It was a horrible thing to do but at least it wasn’t
attempted murder he reasoned. Nothing would ever beat using his boyfriend as a weapon to kill.

Sirius laid on his back, tossing the ring box from hand to hand. He replayed the moment Remus
had ended things again and again and again. There had been obvious sadness in Remus’ hazel eyes
but it could have all to do with what he did and nothing at all to do with breaking up. Peters
stomach growled loudly making Sirius jump up reflectively hiding the ring. A second later, James
saunters out of their shared bathroom with a white towel hanging low around his waist.

“You should shower.” James nods at Sirius, “We still have time.”
“Pete’s about to starve.” Sirius points out as the larger boys stomach growls again.

James shakes his head, “Pete can go and reserve our table. You’re showering.”

Sirius mutters in protest as he drags himself out of his bed, his mattress was nowhere near as
comfortable as the one he’d laid in for a year. He missed sleeping in the bed opposite, he missed
feeling Moony’s arms around him. Peter leaves as James starts getting changed and attempting to
do something with his untameable mop of hair. He purposefully takes his time, listening as the
shower runs and hears Sirius step in. He knew Sirius was in the wrong, but Sirius was his brother
and his brother was struggling.

In the time the two boys weren’t speaking, Sirius had dropped a significant amount of weight. He
had neglected himself completely, choosing to sleep in one of the secret passageways and skiving
classes. It wasn’t until James forgave him that he saw how much Sirius had been struggling. Part of
him had been too angry to care and now he was furiously trying to make up for it. To James it was
painfully obvious that his best friend was depressed and yeah, maybe he brought it on himself but
no one deserved to feel as low as Sirius did. It wasn’t right.

Remus packed away his bag, deciding if he were quick enough then he could get some food in the
Great Hall before Sirius arrived. As he grabbed the remaining books that would not fit inside,
Regulus stood before him and cleared his throat. In the four hours of studying, he had come to a
conclusion. He’d actually decided from the moment Remus approached him with the proposition.

“I’m in.” He says.

Remus stills in shock before nodding, “Okay.”

“So..what are the details?” Regulus asks throwing them both into the deep end and getting straight
to the point.

Remus and Regulus talk it out for half an hour, touching on the when and the how. Both of them
were far to eager to see Sirius’ reaction for different reasons. Regulus was looking forward to
seeing if any part of Sirius still cared about him. Remus just wanted to see genuine pain etched
across his face, he wanted to see the heartbreak in his eyes as he realised he had been replaced by
his brother of all people.

The two boys leave the library separately, agreeing to discuss the plan further tomorrow. Remus
feels a buzz in his stomach, a smile spreading across his face at the idea alone. He was finally
going to show Sirius exactly how it felt to be betrayed.

Once he’s in the Great Hall, the other boys are sat together. Remus plasters on a grin as he
squeezes besides Lily and starts spooning mash potatoes on his plate. He engages in conversation
with the red head as they arrange another study session for the first years. Remus hadn’t really
been feeling up to it after Sirius’ stunt but he found he had perked up greatly since Reg had agreed.
He felt less angry all of a sudden, he felt calm and at peace with everything. His eyes kept
wandering across to the Slytherin table, watching as Regulus talked with his own friends and he
felt a swell of something like gratitude towards him. If anyone knew what an arse Sirius could be,
it was his younger brother.

“Why do you keep looking at the Slytherins?” Lily asks noticing as Remus looks over for the sixth
time, “Are they giving you a hard time again?”

Sirius sits up straighter, glancing between Remus and the Slytherins on the other-side of the Great
Hall. He feels the guilt building inside of him even more, the reason their relationship had been a
secret was because of all the homophobic bullying Remus had experienced. It died down because
the marauders never allowed Remus to be alone..now that Remus had distanced himself..it
appeared as if it had started up again. Luckily, James had overheard Lily’s question too and raised
his eyebrows at Remus.

“They giving you grief Moony? Tell me their names and I’ll turn them into pigs.” James says
heatedly.

Remus laughs and shakes his head, “It’s nothing like that.”

Lily’s eyes widen with happiness (she had no idea about Sirius), “Oh! Remus you met someone?”

Remus says nothing, turning his attention back to his food and let’s the assumption sit in the air
amongst them all. He can feel Sirius gaping at him, his eyes flickering between the Slytherin table
and himself. He decides to glance across again, smiling to himself before swiftly taking a sip of his
drink. He side eyes Sirius as he peers over Peters head, attempting to see whoever it was. The plan
was already working.

Sirius heads straight to their dorm once the meal is over, James goes up after him offering Remus a
small but sincere smile. He was happy that Remus was happy but heartbroken for Sirius. Peter
makes himself comfortable besides Remus on the couch in front of the fire knowing Sirius needs
time to speak with James.

“So..you moved on?” Peter asks, trying to start a conversation.

Remus nods, “He’s amazing Peter.”

“Is that where you’ve been disappearing too?”

Remus smiles, Peter was making this all too easy for them, “Yeah.. we made it official today so I
guess.. I’m just..really happy..”

“That’s good.” Peter says, part of him thrilled for Remus but the other part gutted for Sirius.

He always assumed Sirius and Remus were soulmates, that they were just meant to be. It had taken
him some time getting used to two men, he’d never met a gay person before, then suddenly two of
his best friends were dating and shagging! It used to make him feel queasy seeing the two of them
snog but he’d give anything for them to be doing that again, instead of being apart.

Sirius throws the small box across the room, his chest heaving violently as he presses his hand
against his lips silencing his sobs. James picks the box up, hiding it in his own bedside drawers
before enveloping Sirius into a much needed hug. The Black heir sobs into James’ shoulder, his
heart physically cracking with every inhale and exhale of air.

“H-he met someone else?” He whimpers, questioning no one in particular as he shakes in James’
arms, “When?Who?” Sirius suddenly pushes his friend away, “Did you know?”

“No!” James splutters with annoyance, “I don’t know when he would have got chance to.”

Sirius wipes his tears on his sleeve, “It’s a rebound right? There’s no fucking way..he can’t just
have..he loves me.”

Peter and Remus come into the room, Remus first with Peter behind asking him to wait. Remus
doesn’t acknowledge the other two boys as he grabs a towel from his trunk before locking himself
in the bathroom. Sirius slumps down on his bed, resting his head against the frame of his four
poster. He could feel the sadness within consuming him entirely, wondering if it was even possible
for him to be happy again. Remus seemed to have taken all the light with him, leaving Sirius in the
dark.

He glances up at Peter, who recoils back and visibly cringes as Sirius asks, “Did he tell you who he
is?”

Peter shakes his head, “H-he..”

“Spit it out Wormtail.”

”Pads!” James scolds but looks at Peter with curiosity.

”He said he’s really happy.”Peter says quietly, avoiding the piercing stare from Sirius, “They made
it official today..”

Sirius makes a low pained noise in the back of his throat then he climbs into his bed, using his
wand to close the curtains around him as he buries himself under the duvet. James closes his eyes
with stress before changing into his pyjamas, humming as he thinks. It had to be rebound, there
was no way Remus would just forget about Sirius so quickly. They were so in love, it didn’t make
sense. James mentally scolds himself, of course it made sense. Sirius had betrayed Remus in the
worst way, just because James could forgive Sirius- it didn’t mean Remus could.

Remus smiles to himself, he knew Wormtail would tell the others what he had said. Peter had
never been very good at keeping secrets or hiding the truth, even if he had tried to, they would have
caught on to his lying straightaway and called him out on it. Phase one of the plan couldn’t have
gone any easier. Sirius felt like shit already wondering who Remus was dating and the worst was
still yet to come.

He walks back into the dorm room, Peter and James stare at him as he starts changing for bed.
Remus glances at them, noticing Sirius shut away quietly and turns to hide his amusement.

“You have a boyfriend?” James asks bluntly, he had never been very good at the subtle thing.

Remus nods, knowing Sirius is still wide awake and listening, even if the other two didn’t realise.

“How did you two even meet?” James frowns, “I mean..I am happy for you Moony.. but don’t you
think it’s too soon after..um you know?”

Remus laughs harshly, “I don’t owe Black anything. Anything I felt for him disappeared the
moment I found out what he did.” Remus states his voice getting caught in his throat, “I could have
killed Snape or worse I could have killed you,James. If that had happened, if you weren’t fast
enough..”

“But I was fast enough.”

”THAT IS NOT THE POINT!” Remus screams, the anger rebuilding, “WHAT IF YOU
WEREN’T?”

James gulps and nods, “Y-yeah sorry mate, I get it..so um..who is he?”
Remus relaxes slightly, dropping his shoulders as he looks at James. He didn’t mean to lose it with
James, he had been such a good friend to him and he just metaphorically ripped his head off. The
only person Remus should ever be angry at is Sirius, not the other two.

“We met in the library.” Remus confesses, he hears a small scoff from Sirius’ bed and rolls his
eyes, “He’s very intelligent and kind.” Another scoff.

James and Peter hear it too, they glance at Sirius’ bed as James nods to Remus, “He sounds great.”
Another much louder scoff.

The following day, Remus is up and out of their dorm before everyone else. He practically races to
the library, bumping straight into the younger Black sibling sending them both flying to the
ground. They bump heads on the way down, Regulus rubs his temple with annoyance as Remus
apologetically starts collecting Reggie’s dropped books.

He looks down at the titles with a frown, “These are from the restricted section.”

Regulus stands up, snatching them back and glowers at the taller man. Remus hadn’t realised at
first that Reg was taller than his older brother, for some reason it made him feel smug. Sirius hated
being shorter than Remus and James, he would loathe realising Reg was taller.

“Yeah.” Regulus admits, “I need to return them before Madame Pince notices they’re gone.”

Remus shrugs, “I have a pass. Just blame me.”

“Are you sure?”

”Thats what boyfriends are for.” Remus smirks, watching as Regulus turns bright red in the cheeks.

”Right..”

The two boys walk the rest of the way together, discussing their plan in low secretive voices. Once
they reach a conclusion, they split off, sitting at opposite tables. Remus wasn’t stupid, he knew
now he had mentioned the library it wouldn’t take long for the others to come spying.

Sirius barely adjusts to the light creeping into their dorm when he flings the duvet off himself and
stumbles out of bed. He’s just about to walk out of the room, when James slams the door on him
and looks him up and down in disgust.

”You’re in yesterdays clothes, that you slept in. I doubt that’ll win Moony’s heart back.”

”Fuck.”

”You should brush your teeth too.”

”Yeah.. but then we’re finding out who Moony is fucking.”

James groans, “Mate I don’t think he wants us to know yet-“

Sirius raises his eyebrow at his friend, “No. He doesn’t want me to know.”

Sirius takes his time choosing a new outfit, admiring himself in the mirror and getting pissed off
with himself for not looking ‘good enough’. James and Peter had never seen Sirius so stressed
about his appearance before, the news of Remus’ new lover had knocked Sirius’ confidence a lot.
In the end, he goes for the very first outfit he tried on, his signature leather jacket taken out of the
wardrobe for the first time in over a month.

”Sirius Black is back bitches.” He smiles as he blows on his nails to dry the freshly painted black
nail polish.

”We missed breakfast.” Peter complains, staring at Sirius with annoyance.

James just shrugs, happy to see his best friend looking more like his usual self, “You look stunning
darling.”

”Prongs you flatter me!” Sirius grins back as he stands to his feet , “Now let’s go to the library.”

Remus is nose deep in a book on ancient runes, he hears them before he sees them and smirks
across the library at Regulus. Regulus smiles back, then keeps his eyes trained on his herbology
essay. Sirius walks in, randomly selects a book off the shelves and flicks through it aimlessly as he
walks around the library, attempting to locate Remus and his secret boyfriend. James spots Remus
first, sat alone reading as per usual. He wonders momentarily if Remus had made his boyfriend up
as a way to get back at Sirius, part of him is very hopeful that this is the case.

Sirius slams the book back into the case (in the wrong place) as he points incredulously towards
Remus. James nods along internally praying that Sirius will just leave Remus be, but of course he
doesn’t.

”Where’s the boyfriend then?” Sirius demands as he walks over to where Remus is sat.

Remus looks up, blinking in surprise at Sirius’ appearance. He had actually made an effort for the
first time in weeks, he had his signature black liner and black leather jacket back. He looked
healthier for that alone, he appeared more like Sirius than ever. For a moment, Remus forgot. For a
moment, Remus’ eyes widened and his heart raced at the sight of the man before him.Remus had
almost recognised him, almost reached out for him, then remembered what it was he dumped
Sirius for.

“You just missed him.” Remus lies easily with a shrug.

Sirius swears under his breath, “If this is some elaborate hoax to get back at me Moony, it’s
fucking working.”

Remus just laughs, then turns his attention back to what he was reading. Sirius stares down at the
boy he’d hurt, his heart aching in his chest and he knew Remus could feel it. He knew Remus
would hear his heart breaking, but he really didn’t seem to care. Sirius kneels down besides him,
lowering his voice and ensuring their friends are a fair distance away.

”Moony please.” Sirius whispers, his voice cracking, “Please I’ll do anything.”

Remus’ eyebrow raises as he turns to face Sirius, a sly smile spreads across his face, “You’re so
pretty when you beg.”

Sirius swallows harshly, his grey eyes pleading with Remus’ hazel ones, “Moony-“

”Beg.” Remus says in a low growl, “Beg for me to forgive you.”

Sirius drops his head, his ears burning with humiliation and he looks back up at Remus. He doesn’t
recognise the man staring back at him anymore. There’s a look in Remus’ eyes that he does not
recognise, the once calming and warm expression is gone.

“I-Remus I’m sorry. I really am sorry.” Sirius says sincerely, “If I could go back and change-“

Remus holds up his hand to silence him, “I didn’t say I wanted excuses.”

Sirius nods understandingly, a desperate look in his eyes, “I’m sorry, Moony. I really am. Please
forgive me. Please. I’ll do anything you want. Please.”

Remus snorts as he turns back to his work, “Pathetic.”

Remus hears the way Sirius’ heart drops, he has to force himself to ignore it and not reach out.
Sirius rises to his feet, he steals one last look at Remus before forcing his way past James and Peter
to leave the library. James looks at Remus, who’s deep in thought and as he turns to go after Sirius,
he notices Regulus watching the exchange with a confused expression on his face from another
table. Sirius hadn’t even noticed his brother sat in the library.
 Chapter 3

Remus was extremely intelligent and oddly manipulative, he knew how to pull the strings so that
their little plan fell into place effortlessly. Regulus couldn’t help but wonder why Remus hadn’t
been placed in Slytherin, he was ambitious and cunning- two of the most significant attributes of a
Slytherin. He realises he didn’t actually know Remus well enough to judge, but he had heard the
rumours. Remus Lupin had apparently been one of the very few hat stalls in Hogwarts, Regulus
would love to witness one of those in his time at school but it was unlikely. It did leave Reg
wondering if that hat was torn between Gryffindor and Slytherin, especially once they started
discussing the rest of the plan.

Now Sirius had left the library, promptly followed by James and Peter, Reg made his way over to
his not boyfriend with a smile. Everything had happened exactly as Remus said it would. He
couldn’t fault the older boy, he clearly knew his friends inside out. Reg had noticed the way Sirius
had begged for forgiveness and it made him feel odd inside. How did Remus get Sirius so
apologetic when he couldn’t even get his brother to acknowledge him? Sirius hadn’t even noticed
his baby brother sat right there. If anything it made Regulus more determined to see their revenge
through, if he was attached to Remus’ side- Sirius would have to pay him attention.

“We need to be caught.” Remus says, not taking his eyes off his book.

”Caught doing what?”

Remus laughs, “Kissing. Nothing else don’t worry.”

”Oh..”Regulus says shyly, “Remus..I’ve..”

Remus looks up with alarm, “You’ve never kissed anyone before?”

Regulus deflates with embarrassment, he’d had plenty of offers but he didn’t know how to kiss. He
was too shy to actually try it with anyone. He knew it was dumb, he knew that everyone had those
awful and awkward first kisses but he didn’t want to be remembered that way. He was a Black, he
had a reputation to uphold and if stories of bad first kisses got around, no one would take him
seriously.

“I..” Regulus shuts down and gives a small shrug.

Remus presses his lips together and sighs, “Okay, let’s think.”

”You can.” Regulus says quickly, wanting to see the look on his brothers face, “You can kiss me.”

”But it would be your first kiss.” Remus points out, feeling slightly awkward.

Remus had assumed that like his older brother, Regulus took advantage of his good looks and
kissed different people every weekend. He realised he was wrong to group the boys as the same,
Sirius never had his nose in a book but Regulus read every day. Sirius had teased Regulus
relentless for it, until they stopped speaking entirely. Sirius was louder, more irritating and
outspoken. He did things without thinking, acted impulsively and stupidly. Whereas Regulus was
more reserved, he moved silently and any time he did speak with Sirius was with with dignity as
Sirius blew up and vented. They were quite the opposite, even if they looked alike at first glance.
“I don’t mind.” Regulus shrugs.

He would rather his first kiss be with someone older and experienced, who could show him what to
do and teach him how to. Remus was incredibly fit too in a way. He had deep scars across his face
that made him look terrifyingly intimidating but the oversized jumpers he chose to wear balanced it
out. How could any be afraid of the guy who lived in the library? There was no denying it though,
Remus was attractive and if he had to have a first kiss, it might as well be with someone hot.

Remus cups the side of Regulus’ face, he can hear the younger ones heart racing in his chest with
nerves. He leans forward, pressing his lips against Regulus’ quickly and pulls away just as fast.
Regulus looks up at Remus, looking slightly dazed and confused.

“Oh.. is that it?” He says breathing out in relief.

Remus laughs, “I mean.. I was just making sure you were okay.. that it’s not too weird?”

”You're friends with my brother, it’s always going to be weird.” Regulus smiles, his eyes wandering
back to Remus’ mouth, “I don’t think a peck will create the reaction we’re after though.”

Remus laughs again, “Yeah you’re right.”

He grabs Regulus’ face with both of his hands, re-closing the space between them as their lips meet
once again. This time Remus doesn’t pull away, he kisses gently- still very aware that this is
Reggie’s first kiss and it’s still Sirius’ little brother, but as the kiss deepens he forgets. Regulus’
hands wrap around the older boy, pulling him in closer as Remus tongue slips between his mouth.
Regulus let’s out a soft gasp, so this is what kissing was about. He found that he didn’t want to
stop, that he could stand there kissing Remus Lupin for the rest of the day.

Their bodies rub against each other, it takes Regulus a second to realise that his wand isn’t in his
pocket and what he feels rubbing against his own leg, isn’t Remus’ unless they had wands that big
at Ollivanders now. He doesn’t care though, he just wants to kiss Remus and he likes kissing
Remus. He starts thinking that maybe the older boy likes it too but Remus suddenly pulls away, his
face flushed as he looks nervously at Reg.

Regulus’ lips are slightly swollen and red, he brushes his fingers over them and smiles shyly to
himself, before looking up at Remus. His hazel eyes are already watching him, Reg feels frozen to
the spot as his mind rushes with the need to kiss him again. Despite it being his first kiss, he had a
strong feeling that kissing others just wouldn’t be the same.

They let it hang in the air between them for a moment. Remus awkwardly shifts back to his seat,
subtly adjusting himself as he sits down.

“Thanks.” Regulus says, then frowns at himself as he realises what he had said, “Thanks?” He
mutters to himself, feeling rather stupid.

Remus laughs quietly, “You’re welcome.”

That night whilst lay in their beds, in their own dorms- both boys thought of that second kiss in the
library. It was so wrong but it felt so right and Remus couldn’t stop wondering if it would feel the
same the next day.He had expected it to be awkward and uncomfortable but it wasn’t. It turned out
that Regulus was a fucking fantastic kisser. Remus couldn’t even say he had been thinking of
Sirius, because in that moment he wasn’t thinking of anything at all.
As Regulus laid awake, staring at the ceiling thinking of kissing Remus again he felt something
deep within the pit of his stomach. It nervously tensed at the thought of Remus, it took Regulus a
moment to realise he was aroused- again. He smacked himself in the face, he couldn’t be attracted
to Remus- it was all in the name of revenge. He could not start developing a stupid crush. He had
to focus on getting his brother back. He wanted his brother back in his life more than anything and
if kissing Remus got Sirius to notice him- well, he’d happily kiss Remus every single day.

Remus leans over Regulus with a lustful look in his eyes, he tucks the loose curls behind Reggie’s
ear, making the younger boy shudder at his touch. Reg looks down Remus’ body, seeing the faint
sliver of scars across his torso and arms, they’re shocking white against his already pale skin. He
sees the faint outline of abs, wondering how someone so tall and almost lanky had achieved the
physique. Remus drops his head kissing Regulus’ neck, making the younger boy cry out with
pleasure-

Regulus awakens, panting and utterly horrified at where the dream was heading. He notices the
stiff tent in his sleeping shorts and curses under his breath. Why had one kissed left him feeling
so..hot and bothered? He looks around, seeing the sleeping forms of his friends and checks the time
with a quick spell. 1:21am flashes in the air and he groans, he wouldn’t be seeing Remus until 9am
at least.

His cock twitches at the thought of Remus, and he curses again- was Remus really that great of a
kisser? His cock twitches again at the thought of Remus’ soft lips, Regulus can’t help but imagine
the way they felt against his own. His hand wanders down his pants, giving in to the much needed
friction. He shudders involuntarily at the touch, he quickly casts a silencing charm and starts
gently tugging at his hard dick.

He imagines Remus kissing him again, his entire body tenses desperately for the older boy. He
imagines Remus touching him instead of himself, his other hand cups his balls and he whimpers
quietly.

“Reg? Are you awake?”

Regulus quickly removes his hands, his dick going limp. He opens up his bedroom curtains, seeing
Barty standing at the side of the bed. Did Barty know what he was doing? Had he just been caught
wanking? He goes bright red at the idea but Barty just sits besides him, completely unfazed.

”You alright?” Regulus asks him quietly.

He shakes his head unable to look Reg in the eyes, “The rumours are true about him.”

Both of them look towards their friend Evan, who’s fast asleep hidden by the duvet. Regulus looks
back at Barty with a frown, surely it was just a rumour. What would the Dark Lord want with a
bunch of Hogwarts students?

“I saw it.” Barty says quietly, “The mark on his arm.”

Regulus’ heart sinks into the pit of his stomach, if Evan had been chosen..then it was only a matter
of time that Reg would be too. He was too afraid to become a death eater, he would never be able
to do what was expected of him if he took on that commitment. He wasn’t even sure he believed in
the same things that the Dark Lord did, even if he had been raised that way. He really needed his
big brother, Sirius would know what to do and how to fix it. Sirius could make it all go away.

Remus is already in the library when Regulus arrives, he turns red as he remembers his dream and
sordid thoughts throughout the night. He walks over to Remus as confidently as he can.

”We can’t be caught by the Slytherins.” Reg says in one breath.

Remus raises his eyebrow, “Hello to you too.”

”Sorry.” Regulus mutters, slightly embarrassed by his panic.

”We’re going to snog over there.” Remus points, “and when the Marauders arrive, they’ll notice
my stuff so they’ll look around.”

”and if Sirius attacks one of us?”

Remus smirks somewhat reassuringly, “I’ll protect you Reggiekins.”

Regulus snarls unimpressed with the nickname, “Don’t fucking call me that.”

”Alright baby.” Remus smiles playfully. Regulus turns red but doesn’t protest at the nickname, he
actually quite likes it and has to remind himself it’s all an act.

Regulus dumps his stuff on the table, then follows Remus to their make out spot. It’s at the back of
the library by the restricted section, they can see the table where they’re standing. The two boys
lean against the bookcases, smiling timidly at one another.

“Did you sleep alright?” Remus asks him, noticing the younger boys eye bags.

Regulus flushes, his dick hanging heavy as a reminder of what he’d been up to and who he’d been
thinking about. Remus can sense it, his werewolf abilities on fire as Reg shifts uncomfortably on
his feet. Remus can sense the nerves, can sense the mild arousal and quickly snaps himself out of
it.

“Yeah, I slept fine.” Regulus lies, Remus presses his lips together and forces himself to focus. He
hated being lied to, but it was an innocent lie, it was nothing bad, “What about you? Did you sleep
okay?”

Remus is caught off guard for some reason, no one ever seemed to bother to ask him how he slept.
They always assumed he slept badly due to pain or werewolves tendencies, he realises they stopped
asking him because the answer was always the same. He smiles at the younger boy and nods,
“Yeah, I slept alright thanks.”

It was true. He had slept rather well. His mind was so preoccupied with the memory and
excitement of kissing Regulus that it seemed to dull the pain, the same way sleeping besides Sirius
had once done. Remus wasn’t sure how to feel about that, he was glad for a peaceful nights rest..
but it was his exes little brother he’d found that comfort in.

Remus hadn’t even realised he had stepped closer, until he felt Regulus breath on his cheek. His
fingers brush against the younger boys wrist, instinctively he hooks their fingers together and
smiles. If Reg is taken aback by this, he doesn’t show it. He seems relaxed more than anything
else, then without warning he stands on the tips of his toes and pulls Remus down towards him.
The two men kiss as they had done the day before, but it’s different because it’s not a practice and
Remus didn’t even realise there was an audience about to spot them. He lifts Regulus up, pining
him against the ledge of the bookshelf and kisses him hard. They both moan softly, Regulus
himself forgetting that James was lingering near the table.

James frowns at Remus’ abandoned work, he looks at the two bags besides each other on the table.
He feels sick at the sight of it, he doesn’t recognise the bag but it’s confirmation that Remus has in
fact been meeting his little boyfriend in the library. He reaches for the other boys bag, lifting it by
the strap to see if there is a name attached but drops it when he hears a soft moan. He follows the
sound, coming to a screeching halt as Remus exchanges tongues with Sirius- wait. It wasn’t Sirius..
it was-

“HIS BROTHER?” James yells, his eyes widening as he starts to gag dramatically.

Remus and Regulus pull apart, their hair stood up awkwardly and their lips red and swollen. James
notices both of them are turned on and it makes him want to rip his eyeballs out of their sockets. He
feels violated at the x-rated snogging he’d just witnessed.

“His brother?” James repeats quieter, his eyes darting back and fourth, “His brother?”

”Great.. we broke Potter.” Regulus snorts.

“But..it’s his brother!” James says as if he’s trying to make Remus realise who’s tongue was down
his throat.

Remus sighs, running a hand through his sandy brown curls, “and this is why I didn’t want any of
you to know.”

”But Remus!” James breathes out, “This is bad. This is really really bad.”

”Calm down, Potter. I’m old enough to date.” Regulus laughs.

James looks horribly pale, did Regulus know Remus was once Sirius’ boyfriend? He had a strange
feeling that Remus had left that little detail out.

”Remus.” James hisses, “A word.”

”I’ll catch you later, baby.” Remus whispers, leaning down and kissing the side of Regulus cheek.

Regulus nods, passing James with an awkward shuffle. Remus watches as Regulus takes his bag
and leaves the library entirely. He hadn’t even realised James was there. He got carried away, what
did that even mean? If he didn’t realise the plan was in motion? Did that mean he wanted to just
kiss Regulus for the hell of it?

“His brother!” James repeats, snapping Remus out of the questions running around his mind.

”Yes.” Remus nods, he had intended for all three of them to find him with Reg- not just James.

”Remus, do you understand what I’m saying?” James asks his eyebrows furrowed together, “That
is your ex boyfriends little brother.”

”I know who he is, James.”

James splutters in disbelief, “Then why?”

”He’s fit-“

”He looks like his fucking brother.” James points out, “Is that what this is about? Finding someone
to..fill that gap? Reg might look like Sirius but he isn’t Sirius-“

”I wasn’t finished. He’s kind, he’s intelligent, he’s actually really funny too.” Remus adds
remembering how Reg had thanked him for his first kiss yesterday, “He’s different.”

James groans, “Fuckkk. You’re so fucking lucky he’s still in bed.”

”Eh?” Remus frowns, “We’re broken up. Who I date is none of his business.”

”No Remus, you don’t fucking get it.” James snaps, “That is his baby brother. He’s already
protective over him and you and now you’re-“

”Ah yeah I forgot how protective he is over me, using me as a weapon like he did.” Remus says
sarcastically, “I always forget that that’s what it’s like to care about someone.”

James takes a step back, “Who are you? I know what Sirius did was fucked up but you didn’t have
to stoop this low.. you’re not like this, you’re not the type of person to be so..“

”Angry? Bitter? Mean?” Remus supplies with a shrug, “Perhaps Sirius is to blame yeah? Maybe
I’m finally becoming the monster I always feared I would be.”

”Fuck.” James says, looking at his friend nervously.

He knows Remus is still hurting but this wasn’t the way Remus would act ordinarily, it was kind of
scary. He was used to Remus getting angrier nearer to the full moon, but the moon wasn’t until the
end of the month and it was usually just snapping and finding every small sound irritating. He was
never cruel, not like this.

“He loves you, Remus.” James says eventually, “I know you don’t believe me because of what he
did.. but this will absolutely destroy him.”

Remus shrugs, “You don’t hurt people you love.”

James looks taken aback, “So, you don’t love him anymore? Not even a bit?”

Remus stares at James, his heart racing as he considers if he still loves Sirius or not. He wasn’t an
idiot, he could separate love and hate. He loved Sirius, he had wanted to spend the rest of his life
with Sirius and he still loved Sirius now, but Sirius deserved this. He deserved to feel half of the
pain that Remus did. After all, Remus could have murdered his friend. He could’ve have killed two
people. He could have been removed from Hogwarts and all of his studying and hard work would
have been for nothing, all because Sirius didn’t think.

“I think.. I’ll always love who I thought he was.” He settles on eventually with a half hearted
shrug.

”You’re not going to find his replacement in his brother, Remus.” James says, sounding like a strict
teacher or parent.

Remus shakes his head, “I’m not trying to find his replacement. I’ve just moved on.”
”With his brother?” James asks in a scandalised tone.

”Not many people come to the library.” Remus shrugs honestly, “It just kind of happened.”

Sirius is still in bed when James returns to their dorm room, he knew Sirius would find out
eventually but James was not going to be the one to tell him. Sirius’ mental health was his top
priority, finding out that Remus was shacking up with his brother- well.. how does one come back
from something like that? They have classes, Peter was attending them but Sirius evidently wasn’t
in the mood, and for once James wasn’t going to force him.

James lays back in his own bed, trying to think of ways to hide this recent development from his
struggling friend. Sirius and Regulus did not see eye to eye, which made this entire thing even more
stressful. One false move towards his brother and Regulus would hit Sirius where it hurt. Reg was
guaranteed to rub this in Sirius’ face if he could.

James clears his throat, “Hey, Pads?”

”Yeah?”

”Did your brother know about you and Moony?”

Sirius let’s out a low laugh, “No. If he did, he would’ve told Mother dearest and had me crucioed.”

”and..sorry but is Regulus straight?”

Sirius sits up, looking across the space between the two beds and frowns at James, “What is with
the sudden interest in Reg?”

”Just been thinking.”James shrugs, trying to hide any awkwardness.

”He’s promised to Lyra Greengrass.” Sirius supplies after a beat of silence, “They get married once
she turns eighteen.”

”Oh.. but that doesn’t mean he’s straight does it?” James frowns.

Sirius sits up even straighter, more intrigued, “James? Do you fancy my fucking brother?”

”What?” James breathes out in shock, “No! Definitely not! No. Merlin Padfoot.”

”Good because I’d have to kill you if you did.” Sirius shrugs, laying back down on his bed,
seemingly more relaxed.

So Remus is probably going to be murdered James thinks, dragging his pillow over his face to
muffle a scream he can’t release. When did everything get so bleeding complicated?
 Chapter 4
Chapter Notes

TRIGGER WARNING
-Brief nod to self harming
-Brief descriptions of anxiety
-Aftermath of the Prank

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Flashback to The Prank Aftermath:

Remus awakes. He can tell immediately by the sharp pains throughout his body that it had been a
bad moon. Possibly one of the worst ones he had ever experienced. He knew that with age, they
would get progressively worse but nothing could have prepared him for this amount of agony. It
felt like he was being stabbed and hacked to pieces with a chainsaw. He had never felt anything
like it. He turns his head to the side as throws up, everything coming in and out of focus. He feels
Sirius’ hand on his back, rubbing in between his shoulder blades as he continues to heave. He
could always depend on Sirius to be there for him the morning after.

“Everything hurts.” He manages to say, his mouth dry and his mind spinning violently.

He leans back onto the pillow, resting his eyes and waits for the werewolves memories to come
back but he can’t recall a thing. Since his friends had become animagus and become Moony’s
pack, he was able to remember things..but he couldn’t and it scared him. What we’re the chances
he was hurting this much and he couldn’t remember? Something bad must have happened.

He opens his eyes, glancing nervously at his boyfriend. Sirius is sat in the chair, his head dropped
into the palms of his hands. Remus feels spine chilling dread washing over him as he sees how
afraid his boyfriend is when he eventually looks up at Remus.

”What did I do?” Remus asks quietly.

Sirius’ eyes widen as he grabs hold of Remus’ hand, “You didn’t do anything my love. You didn’t
do anything okay?”

”I don’t remember anything.” Remus admits feeling sick with fear.

At that moment the hospital wing door flies open and in walk James and Peter. Peter is carrying
James’ bag as James’ left arm is bandaged up. Remus’ goes even whiter as he stares at James, he
looks at Sirius with confusion but before he can open his mouth to speak, James is there. He looks
angry. So angry and for a minute, Remus thinks it’s at him.

”What the fuck are you doing in here?” He snaps, “Get away from him, Sirius!”

Remus tightens his hold of Sirius’ hand, he didn’t want his boyfriend to leave, he frowns at James,
“What?”

”You haven’t even got the balls to tell him have you?” James hisses, snatching Sirius away, “Don’t
come near us again.”
”Sirius? What is going on?” Remus asks panicked.

”Go on then.” James nods Sirius toward Remus, “Explain what you’ve done.”

Remus can’t help but notice how upset James and Peter are, he can’t help but notice the guilt and
nervousness in Sirius’ eyes as he chews the skin around his thumbnail.

Sirius reaches for Remus hand again, enveloping it in both of his own hands, Remus relaxes
slightly at the touch. He always felt safer with Sirius around. Sirius clears his throat as tears start
filling his eyes and Remus stares at him, trying to read him as he squeezes his hand supportively.

”I just need you to know that I love you,Moony.” Sirius starts with a rush, “I love you so much and
I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry but please just remember how much I love you, yeah? Just please
don’t forget I love you.”

”What happened?” Remus asks, starting to feel the tension between the other boys, “What did you
do?”

”Snape was teasing me about my family, specifically talking shit about Regulus seeing him as the
brother I’m not..he was being pretty awful..you know he gets sometimes when he’s around the
other Slytherins..”Sirius takes a shuddering breath, “He started hexing me, they were talking
about the homophobic attacks they did on you and I saw red-“

Remus tuts, “Sirius we spoke about this. We’re in sixth year we can’t go around-“

”It’s not..I told him.. I said we should meet up and have a proper duel and end everything once
and for all..”

”Idiot.” Remus mumbles tired of his boyfriends immaturity, “Is that why James has a bandage?”

Sirius shakes his head, pressing his lips together in a thin line as he he starts crying, “Just..you
know I love you, right?”

”He told Snape to meet him at the shrieking shack at 7pm.” James interrupts before Remus can
answer.

Remus frowns in confusion but as the words start to sink, he takes his hand away from Sirius’
grasp. His face falls completely as he stares at James, unable to believe what was said. If Snape
agreed then.. he would’ve come face to face with a werewolf, Sirius knew that.He looks at his
boyfriend in search for an explanation but the guilt is written all over Sirius’ face. He feels his
heart racing in his chest as the other three boys just stare silently, none of them progressing
forward with the story.

”Oh merlin!” Remus manages to gasp out in the midst of blind panic, “Did I kill him? Is that what
happened? I killed him?”

”No!” Sirius quickly says, “You didn’t kill anyone! I promise! Prongs got the worst of it..James
saved Snape.”

Remus looks at James’ bandaged arm, “James saved Snape..from me.”

”Moon-“

”You sent Snape to me..” Remus slowly realises,his face changing from fear to disgust, “You..” He
looks back at James’ arm, disgust changing back to blind fear, “Did I bite you?!”
James shakes his head, “No, you just scratched me. I’m fine and Snape is fine too.”

Remus breathes out in relief, no one else was a werewolf and no one was dead.. but it could have
ended up so different. He stares at Sirius, the betrayal cutting deep in his heart.

”I could’ve killed them.” Remus says, “You..why did you tell him to meet there?”

Sirius inhales sharply, knowing Remus is going to shout at him as both James and Pete had done.
He hadn’t had so many people he loved mad at him all at once. It filled him with familiar dread
from the years of being shouted at by his parents at home. Peter he could handle being pissed with
him, James was a struggle but he knew James would forgive him eventually but Remus.. nothing
scared him more than losing the man he had decided to propose to.

”I just wanted to scare him a bit.” Sirius says hurriedly, “I wanted him to stop picking on us and
just leave us be.. I thought if he saw the wolf then-“

”We’re over.” Remus says, ending the rest of Sirius’ confession and their relationship, “I’d like
you to leave now.”

”What?” Sirius breathes out painfully, his face twisted with confusion.

”You heard me.” Remus says, refusing to look at Sirius.

James’ mouth falls open, he didn’t expect this to happen. Remus and Sirius were soulmates- they
were supposed to be together forever. He had never known two people more in love, other than his
own parents. He expected Remus to be hurt and mad, but he didn’t think Remus would ever leave
Sirius.

”Moony..no. Please. I love you. I love you so much. I can’t-” Sirius whispers, biting the inside of
his mouth, “W-we can fix this. We can-I’ll fix it..I will-“

”Leave.”

Sirius stumbles backwards as if the word had pierced his heart, he stares a Remus waiting for him
to face him and change his mind. He waits for Remus to realise what he’d actually said, but Remus
continues looking forward and ignoring the pain shooting in Sirius’ heart. Sirius looks at James,
who shoots him a nasty glare and then to Peter, who quickly looks down at his feet. Sirius slowly
backs away, his heart sinking lower and lower as it twists and cracks. The weight of his actions
finally sinking in, he couldn’t take this back.. he couldn’t change what he did.

Sirius wakes up sweating and panting, his chest seizing with pain as he clambers out of bed. He
sneaks a look at Remus, he has his arms wrapped around a pillow and one leg over the top of the
covers as he sleeps. Sirius never thought he’d feel jealous of a fucking pillow, but once it was him
with Remus’ arms around his waist as they slept together and now he had been replaced by a
pillow. His heart sinks into the pit of his stomach as he forces himself to go to the bathroom.

He locks the door as he stares at himself in the mirror. All he sees is a disappointment and a fuck
up, someone unloveable and stupid. He turns the cold tap on, splashing his face with icy water and
continues to stare at his reflection. If mirrors could show what was inside he’d be rotten and ugly,
disgusting to look at.. he can’t find the positive in the fact he is good looking. Remus doesn’t want
him anymore. He’d lost the one good thing he had, he lost his person and he was slowly starting to
realise that it was for good. Remus wasn’t going to come back to him.

There’s a small knock at the door, that makes Sirius jump a little. He turns the tap off and unlocks
it, coming face to face with a concerned James. At least he had James, he got James back
somehow..maybe he could get his Moony back too.

”You alright Pads?”

Sirius forces a small smile and nods, “Yeah, I’m fine.” Sirius sees the way James’ eyes wander to
his arms to check. Sirius holds them out to him for a better view, “I said I was fine.”

“Sorry.” James whispers, “I just worry about you.”

”I’m okay.” Sirius says more convincingly.

James nods with his signature lopsided grin, “Do you want to be the baby spoon?”

Remus wakes up earlier than the other boys, as he quietly gets dressed he chances a look at Sirius’
bed and sees it empty. His heart drops a little at the idea of Sirius being in the common room, but
then he hears shuffling and looks over to see Sirius asleep in James’ bed. He smiles to himself as
Sirius is lay on James’ chest, Sirius could never sleep alone even when they were kids. In the first
few years he would bunk in James’ bed and Remus got jealous- years later realising he was gay and
madly in love with the black haired beauty. He wasn’t jealous now though. It was only a matter of
time that Sirius found himself back in bed with James, now he couldn’t sleep with Remus
anymore.

Remus looks down at the sleeping form of his ex boyfriend, he looked so angelic and innocent
when sleeping. He looked as if he could never do any wrong. It was unfair that Sirius was a pretty
sleeper on top of everything else. It made it quite difficult to remain mad in moments like these.
Part of Remus wanted to take him from James’ bed and deposit him back in his own, wrap his arms
around him like he would have a couple of weeks back. It hurt actually, realising how much had
changed between them and how much Remus lost.

The thing is, Remus would have lost either way. If James hadn’t arrived in time to save Snape then
Remus would have killed the man. He didn’t like Severus either but he would never have set a trap
to get him murdered. One wrong move from James- could have got him bitten or worse. In a way,
the best case scenario was losing Sirius. Even if it did hurt like a bitch, even if he missed him every
single moment of the day- it was definitely better than missing James because he was dead. The
only way Remus could win in this entire fucked up scenario was if Sirius never did it.. but he did
and every outcome hurt Remus in one way or another.

Remus was used to being hurt, things never seemed to workout the way he wanted and he was
always losing people he loved. Sirius was his chance at happiness, he should have known it
wouldn’t last.. good things never do.

He finds Regulus in the library and sits besides him instead of going to his usual spot. Regulus is
leaning on his hand as he writes about the muggle laws. Remus just sits by and watches the
younger Black sibling as he furrows his eyebrows in concentration. He watches as Regulus
effortlessly curls his letters, he thinks briefly about Sirius’ own messy scrawly writing and
wonders if his had ever been as perfect as his brothers. He knows the Blacks were strict on things
like this, he cringes as he imagines them being hit for their bad writing and tears his eyes away.

”You’re a muggle aren’t you?” Regulus suddenly asks looking up at Remus.

”Oh I’m half and half, my Da is a wizard and my Mum is a muggle.” Remus explains with a small
smile.
Regulus slides the parchment across to Remus, “Is this correct?”

Remus reads Regulus’ essay thoroughly, nodding along in approval. When he’s done he slides it
back across, “You must be top of the class.”

”I don’t take muggle studies.” Regulus mumbles, “I’m not allowed.”

Remus frowns, “So.. what is the essay for?”

”Fun.” Regulus mutters, folding the parchment away into his bag, “I just..find it interesting.”

”Fair enough.” Remus shrugs, taking out his own books and essay for DADA.

Regulus raises his eyebrow, “That’s it? You’re not going to laugh at me or-“

”I’m not Sirius.” Remus points out with a smile, “I like learning too, it’s interesting.”

”What do you like learning about most?” Regulus asks in curiosity.

Remus smiles as he lays back in his chair, “Wizarding laws.. I just think some of them are.. a little
unfair.”

Regulus nods eagerly in agreement, “Yeah! Like the laws for house elves! They’re not fair at all..”
He blushes a little, “Sorry.. I just..I wish there was laws in place to have them treated better is all.”

”You have one right?” Remus asks, “Sirius said he was little shit.”

”Sirius said I was a little shit too. It’s not true.” Regulus protests, folding his arms across his chest,
“Kreacher is great. Sirius is the little shit.”

Remus laughs then nods in agreement, “He sure is.”

”You never said.. what he did.” Regulus prompts quietly, “Why are you so mad at him? I thought
you two were best friends.”

“He did something unforgivable.” Remus says, “James might forgive him but I don’t think I ever
will.”

“Really?”Regulus frowns, “You know.. the only person he spoke about as much as he did James
was you. I always thought you three were like Evan, Barty and I, friends forever..”

Remus sighs sadly, “If one of them did something bad.. that affected you directly and you had
expressed repeatedly over the years that it would hurt.. that it was your biggest fear, would you be
able to forgive them?”

Regulus ponders for a minute, thinking of Evan and his dark mark. He had told the other two how
afraid he was and Evan had agreed- he was just as scared as Reg was. Evan would never go out of
his way to put him or Barty in danger. They were all expected to get the mark at some point
though.

”I don’t think either of them would hurt me intentionally.”Regulus admits, wondering now more
than ever what Sirius had done.

”Exactly.” Remus says, running his tongue across his teeth, “Your brother did it on purpose so for
that alone.. I can’t forgive him.”
Regulus nods with some understanding, he felt the same about Sirius. His brother had left him in
that house all alone and on purpose. He made a choice. He chose to leave Regulus behind instead
of staying with him, knowing that Reg needed him.

“Did James ever tell him?” Regulus asks eventually, changing the subject.

Remus shakes his head, “He’s worried that he won’t be able to handle it.

”Isn’t that the whole point?” Regulus snorts.

”James doesn’t know that.” Remus says defensively, “We can have more fun winding him up this
way though.”

“What do you mean?”

Remus smirks, leaning closer towards Regulus, “He’s desperate to find out who I’m dating, so we
can keep him guessing and then when it does drop, he will be even more shocked.”

Regulus considers this for a moment, it made sense. Sirius was always noticing everything Remus
was doing, if they left little signs and hints then told him later.. he would have no choice but to
notice his brother. He would start seeing him everywhere he went, he would become part of Remus
and Sirius would notice him more by association. They had the same friends, Sirius would hang
with Remus and be reminded of Regulus forever. It was perfect.

”Yeah, that makes sense.” Regulus nods with a smile.

Remus leans in closer, dropping his voice low, “Would you mind leaving obvious hickies? Get his
eyebrows raising a bit?”

Regulus swallows nervously, “How do I even do that?”

”Like this.” Remus says as he ducks his head towards Reggie’s neck.

He holds Regulus’ face as he gently kisses the exposed skin on his neck before he sucks and bites.
Regulus gasps in shock and grabs onto Remus’ shirt then whimpers in pleasure as Remus starts
kissing the sensitive skin again. He pulls away, his hand still resting on his cheek and searches
Reggie’s eyes. The pale grey is familiar and comforting, it reminds Remus of home. He closes the
small space between them, their noses brushing against each other as their mouths touch.

Remus kisses Regulus tentatively, gaining confidence as the younger boy kisses back with need.
The library seems to disappear around them as Remus focuses on the touch of Reggie’s soft lips.
Regulus pulls away momentarily as he presses his lips along Remus’ jaw, slowly making his way
down to his neck.

Regulus gently sucks the skin between his teeth, before kissing it again and gradually getting more
comfortable with the idea. He sucks and bites on Remus’ neck, drawing godly sounds from the
older boy as he does. Remus closes his eyes as Regulus works his magic, leaving Remus’ neck
covered in messy bloodthirsty hickies. Remus inhales a sharp breath of pain and Regulus pulls
away, his eyes widening with concern as Remus tries to hide his disappointment.

”I’m sorry.” He says shyly, glancing nervously at the damage.

Remus just shakes his head, “It’s fine.”

He wasn’t about to tell him he wanted Regulus to keep going or that he was insanely turned on by
the sharp pain. He didn’t want to scare Regulus away with his wolfy desires.

Regulus looks at Remus, his stomach doing somersaults as he admires his neck. He had the strong
urge to lean in and carry on, but thought better of it and started packing his things away.

”Great Hall is open for breakfast now.” He informs Remus as he throws his bag over his shoulder,
“I’ll erm..”

Remus stands up, reaching for him and grabs hold of his wrist. He’s not sure why he did it but he
just didn’t want Regulus to leave. He drops his hand awkwardly, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Regulus nods before hurrying away, feeling a tingling sensation where Remus had grabbed his
wrist. He spots Evan and Barty immediately, rushing straight for them at the Slytherin table. Both
boys stop their conversation to stare, mouths wide open at their disappearing friend.

Barty clears his throat, “Been somewhere exciting have we?”

Regulus reaches for a slice of toast and frowns, “The library.”

”I didn’t know the library had become a whore house.” Evan smirks, “Shit, I better spend more
time in there hadn’t I?”

Regulus spreads the butter across the warm toast, “What the fuck are you in about you?”

”Your neck.” Barty smirks as he takes a sip of his apple juice, “Who’s done that then?”

Regulus drops his toast to his plate as he smacks his hand against his neck, “Shit.”

“Don’t soil yourself.” Evan snorts, taking out his wand, “Concealio.”

”We do want to know who’s responsible for that though, they made a right mess.” Barty states as
he reaches for some cheeri-owls, “They want everyone to know you’re taken with that
monstrosity.”

Regulus turns crimson red as his friends continue to goad him into a confession that wasn’t
coming. They could irritate him as much as they wanted but he’d never reveal that it was a man.
He would never tell them it was Remus Lupin. Men had been killed for dating other men, he knew
the Slytherins would kill him if they knew.

He notices Remus enter the Great Hall and diverts his eyes so his friends won’t clock on. They
weren’t as stupid as they looked unfortunately, otherwise Reg would probably stare at the
Gryffindor all day. He focuses on his breakfast, hearing the moment his obnoxious older brother
walks in.

Remus cuts his toast into four triangles then spreading different toppings on each of them. He
glances at Regulus, smiling to himself with fondness as he takes a bite of the marmalade quarter
first. He hears Sirius enter the Great Hall and instead of getting up to leave, he stays seated and
smiles to himself. Regulus had fucked his neck up pretty well, it was already starting to bruise and
it wasn’t unnoticeable at all.

Peter sits besides Remus, reaching across to pile up his plate with various breakfast items. Sirius
and James sit across from them, Sirius nervously waiting for Remus to leave. It wasn’t that he
wanted him to go but he was so used to Remus sitting elsewhere or rushing off whenever he was
around, that he was confused.
”Moony can you pass me the jam please?” James asks uncertainly.

Remus hands it to him, smiling politely as he starts sipping on his coffee and reading a book from
his bag.

Peter turns to Remus, “Can you- what the bleeding hell happened to your neck?”

Remus drops the book down into his lap, clapping his hand over the sensitive marks. James leans
across the table, ripping Remus’ hand away to take a look. He turns shockingly white as he gets a
glimpse and sits back down in his seat.

”Bloody hell.” He whispers, side eyeing Sirius nervously.

Sirius, who’s sat across from Peter can see the marks peaking through Remus’ fingers. He
swallows a large lump in his throat, Remus really did have a boyfriend and whoever it was..

His leg starts shaking underneath the table as a wave of anxiety hits him all at once. Suddenly, his
tie feels much tighter around his neck and he doesn’t remember how to breathe. Remus drops his
hand when he thinks no one is admiring the dirty work anymore but Sirius keeps staring, unable to
tear his eyes away.

”Who..” His voice wobbles as he struggles to his feet dodging other students as he makes his way
out of the Great Hall.

James shakes his head in disapproval at Remus, “You’re shagging him now are you?”

”I don’t think-“

”Enough is enough.” James says, “I know what Padfoot did but fucking around with his brother
isn’t going to change anything. It’s going too fucking far.”

Juice comes flying out of Peters nose as he starts coughing and spluttering violently, his eyes
widening in shock, “You..and…Reg?!”

”I’m going to check on him.” James states, clearly angry with Remus as he climbs out of the
bench.

“You should take him some food.” Remus mumbles quietly, “He’s too skinny.”

James’ face twists into rage and confusion, “Oh,so now you care about his well-being? Merlin
Remus.”

James does grab some food for his best friend though, mumbling angrily as he does. He just didn’t
understand any of this. How could Remus claim to hate Sirius, date his younger brother and then
have the audacity to tell James how to look after him?! Peter stares ahead at the Slytherin table,
chewing his lip anxiously.

”Regulus?” Peter asks with confusion, “Is he right or is it someone else?”

Remus looks at Peter, “Prongs is right.”

”B-but why?!” Peter screeches loudly, “It’s his brother?”

Remus just shrugs, pushing his unfinished plate away from him. He suddenly felt quite ill, maybe
James was right and he was taking it too far. Did he really want to hurt Sirius this much?
 It takes James over an hour to find Sirius, he’s hiding in one of the hidden alcoves. The boys had
lost the map awhile ago, but James had a strong feeling Remus had hidden it to keep his sordid
relationship a secret. The sausage sandwich that he’d grabbed for Sirius was cold but in his dog
form Sirius didn’t care usually. James tossed the sandwich towards the dog, who looks at it and
turns away with a whimper.

James crouches down besides Padfoot, stroking the dog behind his ears, “I know it hurts mate.”

Padfoot whimpers sadly again, resting his head on James’ knee. After a few minutes of silence,
Padfoot sits up and transforms back into Sirius. His eyes are bloodshot from crying, his eyeliner
has left tear tracks down his cheeks. James feels his own heart crack at the sight of Sirius, he really
did love Remus despite everything.

”I wish I had a time turner.” Sirius says quietly, “I’d take it all back.”

”I know you would.” James whispers, hanging his head unable to look at Sirius’ broken
expression.

”I was going to propose on our anniversary next week.” Sirius confesses, his voice cracking, “I had
it all planned out, I even wrote a speech.. to tell him how much-“He lets out a short shaky breath as
fresh tears start falling, “I love him so much, James. I don’t know why I did it..I really don’t but I
think I’m just destined to fuck everything up. He’s never going to forgive me, is he?”

James isn’t sure what to say, he wants to reassure Sirius that Remus will come back. He knows
Remus still loves Sirius but he can’t tell him that. He can’t tell Sirius that Remus does love him
because Remus is dating Regulus now. Sirius has no idea yet but Peter knows now thanks to
James’ big mouth. It wouldn’t be long until Sirius does find out and then what? But he knows
Remus still cares, that much he can vouch for because Remus had asked James to feed him. He’s
seen Remus checking on Sirius in the night, watching the other boy as he sleeps.

”He still cares about you.” James says eventually, watching as Sirius face flickers through various
stages of hurt.

”That’s not the same as loving me or forgiving me though.”

Chapter End Notes

Okay this chapter kinda hurt my feelings. I feel so bad for Sirius like oh.. just wait
until he finds out lol that’s gonna hurt more hehe
 Chapter 5
Chapter Summary

WARNINGS!
- a lil smutty
-panic attacks

James arrives to potions half an hour late apologising profusely to Professor Slughorn as he sits in
his usual spot around the table but avoids looking at Remus. Remus continues crushing the beetles
with the blade as Peter stirs clockwise. James gets out his book but doesn’t open it, he just sits in
his seat staring into space. Remus adds the crushed beetles to the potion, staring at James as he
does and a horrible feeling comes over him.

”Where is he?”

James looks up, “Sleeping.”

”He has classes. He can’t just throw a tantrum because I’m dating someone else.” Remus says,
taking over the stirring from Peter.

James closes his eyes in annoyance, “When did you become such a selfish dick?”

”When my boyfriend chose to use me as a weapon.” Remus snaps back, releasing the spoon from
his grasp. As the stirring stops the potion hisses angrily, turning from deep purple to off green,
“For fucks sake.” He mutters, checking his notes to see if he can salvage the potion.

”You’re killing him.” James says, “He’s absolutely destroyed-“

”He knows about Reg?” Remus asks, his eyebrows disappearing under his curls with shock.

”No.” James says turning to Peter, “You’re not to tell him either.”

Peter squeaks in panic, “He will find out eventually though..”

”The longer he doesn’t know the better.” James argues, slamming his hand against the table.

”You can’t protect him from everything.” Remus snaps.

”Oh dear!” Slughorn says as he rounds to their table, he looks at their potion with a disapproving
grunt, “What happened to your potion boys? Where is Mr Black? I’m sure he will be able to fix
this.”

”He’s sick sir.” James supplies half heartedly.

”Ah, well give him my well wishes.” Slughorn smiles as he walks away.

”I’ll speak to him.” Remus mumbles after a long tense silence, “I’ll encourage him to come to
classes.”

James arches a brow, “What? So he can watch you and Regulus sucking face during lunch?”
Remus curses under his breath, “No, so that his biological parents aren’t owled about his slipping
attendance and grades.”

James doesn’t argue, he doesn’t want Walburga and Orion anywhere near Sirius either. He
wonders if Remus’ concern is with Regulus instead though. James wasn’t sure what Regulus’ own
relationship with his parents was like but he could guess. Sirius was traumatised from the abuse, he
had confessed to James multiple times about failing to protect Reggie from them. James wonders if
Regulus had opened up about the abuse to Remus. He wondered if Reg trusted Remus the way
Sirius had trusted him and James.

James watches in the corridor after class as Remus heads towards the Gryffindor tower. He turns to
Peter as soon as Remus is out of sight.

“Do you know what class Reg will be in?”

”No..why?” Peter asks, his face then pales with realisation, “Nooo James please? Can’t we just
avoid the drama?”

But James is already heading in the opposite direction, trying to find Regulus Black. Peter stares
after him, contemplating tagging along before deciding to head to the divination tower. He quite
enjoyed that class and if he could avoid a bloodshed then he would.

Remus slams the dormitory door behind him as he enters, disturbing Sirius from his slumber. He
sits up expecting James, then recoils at the sight of his ex boyfriend. They hadn’t been alone with
each other since the morning in the hospital after he broke Remus’ trust. After they broke each
others hearts.

”What are you playing at?” Remus snaps, throwing his bag onto his own bed, his eyes blinking in
surprise at the shirtless man laid before him.

”I’m sleeping.” Sirius grumbles.

Why did Remus suddenly care anyway? Remus didn’t even notice him most days anymore and
suddenly he was barging into the bedroom, demanding his whereabouts? Sirius sits up straighter,
running a hand through his hair absently. Was he starting to get his Remus back?

”Your attendance is dropping.” Remus says sternly, “Your grades too-“

Sirius shrugs keeping his eyes on the concerned ex in front of him, “I was never going to do well
anyway.”

”They’ll contact your parents.” Remus tells him, “I don’t want that to happen..so can you just get
ready and come to class?”

Sirius’ heart rate begins to quicken, he smiles at Remus as he gets out of bed, “Okay.”

He bends over collecting his abandoned uniform off the floor, Remus watches as Sirius bends over
in nothing but his tight boxers. He holds his breath as his mind wanders, Sirius turns around
coming face to face with Remus. He takes a step back, slightly startled at how close Remus is but
Remus comes even closer. He reaches out a shaking hand, cupping Sirius’ face and pulling him in.
He kisses him passionately and desperately, the two of them falling together like no time had
passed at all.

Sirius drops his clothes as Remus pushes him down onto the bed. Sirius stares up at him,
absolutely mesmerised as Remus removes his shirt. Remus leans over the shorter boy and starts
kissing him again. He missed him. He missed this. They both did. Remus starts kissing Sirius’
neck, Sirius makes an strained noise in the back of his throat as Remus starts sucking his neck.
Sirius feels Remus’ enormous dick rubbing against his leg, both of them panting as Remus starts
grinding himself against Sirius.

He starts sucking Sirius’ neck again, being edged on by Sirius’ desperate whimpers and unholy
dirty moans. Sirius digs his nails into Remus’ back, his hips involuntarily twitching. He’s about to
beg Remus to fuck him, it’s all he wants but then he opens his eyes, he catches a glimpse of the
hickies on Remus neck. Suddenly, he pushes Remus away from him. Remus stumbles back from
the unexpected force, he looks at Sirius with a hurt expression.

”What the fuck?”

Sirius drops his head sadly, “You have a boyfriend..”

Remus’ face falls at the realisation, he grabs his shirt and throws it back on. He struggles with the
buttons as he rushes to get dressed. Sirius stands up, reaching to grab Remus back, wanting to pull
him towards him and carry on kissing. He just wanted his boyfriend back in his arms. Remus
shakes him off, scoffing at himself in anger.

”Moony-“

”Forget it happened.” Remus mumbles, “I shouldn’t have done that.”

Sirius looks away, the hurt consuming him, “Remus..please?”

”Forget about it Sirius.” Remus says harshly, “I only would have fucked you and then walked
away.”

”Then do that.” Sirius blurts out.

Remus picks his bag up off his bed, “You don’t want that, Sirius, you’ll always want more and I’m
never going to give you more.” Remus turns back to face him, “I wasn’t thinking. I’m not going to
use you for sex just because you’re that desperate for me that you’re willing.”

”But..we can fix this, we can fix us.” Sirius reasons, not caring at how pathetic he sounds.

”No..we can’t.” Remus states, “I can’t forgive you.”

”Then fuck me until you forgive me!”

Remus snorts, “It doesn’t fucking work like that!”

”It might help!” Sirius snaps, pleading at Remus with his eyes.

”I don’t think my boyfriend would appreciate it.” Remus says calmly, “I’m going to divination.. I
suggest you do the same.”

Sirius watches as Remus leaves again. He feels the familiar shattering in his chest as the door
clicks shut. He waits for a second, closing his eyes and praying for Remus to turn around and come
back, but of course he doesn’t. He never did. Sirius climbs back into his bed, hiding under the
duvet and letting himself feel the familiar pain.

Remus hesitates at the top of the stairs, glancing over his shoulder at their dorm. He can hear
Sirius’ heart breaking and it makes Remus feel weak. It makes him want to turn around and hold
him close, protect him from harm and pain. The worst part is Remus knows he could take Sirius’
pain away so easily. He could mend his broken heart just by kissing him, whispering sweet
nothings and..forgiving him. It’s the last one Remus can’t do.. and if he could, he could never
forget. He would always remember how is boyfriend had betrayed him.

Once Remus reaches the divination tower, there’s only fifteen minutes left of class. He sits besides
Peter on a beanbag, looking around for James.

”Where’s Prongs?” Remus mutters, frowning as he looks at Pete’s mug.

“Fuck.”Peter mumbles, glancing nervously at Remus, “He’s trying to find Reg.”

Remus scrambles to his feet in panic, interrupting their Professor as he runs out of the classroom. It
would take him fifteen minutes to get down the bloody stairs alone. He tries to run but his legs are
aching with sharp dull aches, his hip starts bothering him half way down but he doesn’t give up. If
Regulus is going to find out Sirius is Remus’ ex then it’ll be from him. No one else.

The corridors are filled with students when he finally reaches the bottom, everyone is chattering
and pushing past one another to get to their next classes. Remus manoeuvres his way around the
bustle of students, spotting Regulus in the crowd with his friends. He starts heading towards him
frantically, then spots James in the distance. Remus starts panicking as he pushes his way through
the students.

”Reg!” Remus calls once he gets a little closer, “Reggie!”

Regulus turns to look at him, his two friends pull faces of confusion as they look at the elder
Gryffindor coming toward them.

”What does the queer want?” Barty snarls in disgust.

”Reckon we should hex him straight?” Evan smirks, reaching for his wand.

Regulus turns to them and waves them off, “Just go to class you pair of idiots.”

Barty and Evan walk away, muttering in disapproval amongst themselves. Barty takes a last look
as Remus reaches Regulus, brushing past James Potter as he does. Remus sees how close James is,
he grabs a hold of Regulus’ wrist and pulls him through the crowd. James just stands there,
watching as Remus takes Reg away.

”Remus!”Reg splutters once they reach an empty classroom, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Sorry.. James was going to..”Remus cuts himself off, noticing the marks he’d left upon Reggie’s
neck had gone.

Reg notices and places his hand over the empty space, “Evan did a concealing spell..they’re still
there.”

Remus’ heart drops nervously as he looks at Reggie’s grey eyes, remembering Sirius’ eyes as he
did. He gulps nervously, nodding aimlessly as he sits against one of the tables. Regulus leans
against the table opposite Remus’, their feet brushing against each other.

”What did James want?” Regulus asks, breaking the long lingering silence.

”He erm.. doesn’t approve.” Remus shrugs, “He doesn’t want Sirius to find out, obviously.”
”Obviously.” Regulus repeats with a soft laugh.

He gets up from where he’s leaning, walking towards Remus with intent. He had spent all day
thinking about the older boy wanting to feel his lips against his all day, thinking he would have to
wait until the morning. His lips crash against Remus’, his hand burying in his hair. Remus is
startled at first but relaxes at the gentle touch, he kisses Regulus back. Not thinking it through
really. He liked kissing Reggie. There was something addictive about kissing Regulus, something
that felt right like it was just meant to happen.

Remus wraps his arms around Reggie’s waist pulling him closer between his legs as the kiss
deepens further. The sexual frustration that had built with Sirius earlier reappears with a vengeance.
He turns himself around, pinning Regulus against the table instead as the continue kissing. Regulus
moans softly against Remus’ mouth as Remus starts tugging at the younger boys shirt.

“Wait..stop.” Regulus says, placing his hand on Remus’ chest, “I-I’m a virgin. I’m not ready.”

Remus pulls away, smiling down at Regulus, “Okay, we will stop.”

Remus can hear Regulus’ heart beating dangerously fast, he places his hand against his heart,
“Calm down, Reggie.” He whispers, Regulus’ breath hitches in the back of his throat.

Regulus leans back in, brushing their lips together then kisses him deeply. Remus moans deeply,
his own heart racing as Reg lowers his hand, he brushes against Remus’ erection and gasps lightly
at the size of it. He starts undoing Remus’ trousers, his hand slithers down the length of him.

”Mm Reggie.”Remus mumbles against his lips.

”Do you want me to stop?”Regulus asks quietly, keeping his hand still.

”No.” Remus whispers, desperate for release.

He hadn’t had sex in so long, he was close earlier. If he was in his right frame of mind, he’d know
that this was a bad idea but lust and desire had blinded all his other senses. He continues kissing
Regulus as his hand tugs at Remus’ dick. They’re both breathless as Reg continues to work Remus,
his hand unable to do it alone.

Regulus pulls away with a soft smile, dropping down to his knees. Remus stiffens slightly,
watching as Sirius’ brother pulls his pants down and parts his lips. He’s about to protest but Reggie
licks the underside of Remus’ cock, Remus shudders and grabs Reggie’s hair as Reg starts sucking.
Remus can’t stop shaking, Reggie follows the sounds leaving Remus’ mouth and sucks harder and
faster, wanting to hear the sound of pleasure.

Remus’ vision goes white as he starts coming undone, his hips shove his penis further down
Reggie’s throat. The sound of Regulus choking against his size, makes him pull further out but Reg
keeps him in place, digging his nails into the back of Remus’ thighs as he takes as much of him as
he can. Tears stream down his face as he continues pleasuring him, eventually Remus sees stars as
warm cum erupts into Reggie’s open mouth.

Breathing heavily, Remus opens his eyes watching as Reggie swallows every single drop. When
he’s done he wipes the corners of his mouth with the back of his hand, looking up at Remus as he
smiles. Remus pulls his boxers and trousers up, the guilt quickly settling in.

”Did I do okay?” Regulus asks shyly.

”Fucking hell, Reg.” Remus laughs hopelessly, “No, it was great.”

”But?”

Remus swallows, closing his eyes with dread, “I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

”About what?”

”About your brother and me.” Remus whispers, “We erm had a thing.”

Regulus steps back, his face falling as he stares at Remus, “Had..a thing? What is that supposed to
mean?”

Remus swallows against, finding it hard to look Regulus in the eyes, “We..dated..for awhile.”

Remus hears the shape intake of breath from Regulus. He hears the way his heart begins racing
faster and faster as he stumbles back,a horrified expression on his face.

”H-he won’t ever forgive me for this.” Reg says backing away from Remus.

”I thought you wanted revenge on him?”

Reg scoffs in annoyance, “Not like this! Fuck! I wanted my brother back! I thought by dating you
he would finally fucking notice me!”

Remus stares his jaw stiff as he realises the mess he had created, not for himself and Sirius but for
Regulus. He wasn’t meant to hurt anyone but Sirius in the process. He steps forwards in attempt to
calm Reg down as he falls to the floor and starts hyperventilating. His heart is pounding violently
as he struggles for air. Remus can’t hear anything over Regulus’ struggle to breathe.

”Shit I’m sorry.” Remus says as he kneels besides the shaking boy, “I’m sorry.”

Regulus grabs onto Remus’ shirt, his eyes wide with fear as he tries to find his breath. Remus stares
at him, unsure of what to do. Sirius had suffered with panic attacks when they were younger but
they never lasted this long.

”HELP!” Remus screams at the top of his voice, “HELP! PLEASE!”

The classroom door flies open as James enters, his face white with fear and concern as he sees
Regulus gasping for air. He rushes over, kneeling on the other side of Reg and grabbing ahold of
his hand.

”Listen to me, think of your safe place. Wherever you feel safest.” James instructs in a clear stern
tone, “Think of it.”

”Sirius.” Reg chokes out shakily, “I-I want-“

”I’m here.” Sirius’ voice comes as he falls in front of his brother, “I’m right here.”

Regulus’ tears fall down his face as he continues struggling to breathe, “I-I’m sorry.”

Sirius shushes him gently, taking James’ place as he moves away. Sirius pulls Reggie into his chest
and rocks him as he talks his brother into taking deep breaths. James glances at Remus who’s
staring at the two brothers in shock? Confusion? Something else? In the silent moments that Reg
regains his breathing, he’s shaking and Sirius is the one holding him, whispering to him like he’s a
small child. To Sirius, Regulus would always be his baby brother. He’d always protect him.

”What happened?” Sirius asks eventually, stroking Reggie’s soft curls around his fingers.
James notices the way Reg looks up at Remus. He sees the way Remus drops his head guiltily,
even when Sirius doesn’t. James knows that Remus had come clean about Sirius. He imagines how
heartbroken Reggie must feel, knowing that his boyfriend had once been with his brother.

”Nothing.” Reg lies his voice barely a whisper, “It doesn’t matter.”

”Bullshit.” Sirius snaps, “I can’t help you if you don’t speak to me about it!”

Reggie cowers at the tone of Sirius’ voice and shakes his head weakly, “I don’t want to talk about
it, please don’t make me.”

”Reg-“

”Please.” He begs sadly, “Please.”

Sirius relents with a soft nod, resting his head on top of his brothers, “Okay Reggie. You don’t
have to talk about it.”

James and Remus leave the two brothers alone in the classroom. James storms off ahead with
Remus trailing behind him, lost in thought. Seeing them both besides each other had complicated
things, instead of wanting to protect Sirius from the truth, he had the overwhelming urgency to
protect Regulus instead. When Reggie was struggling to breathe, Remus wanted to hold him tightly
and breathe fresh air into his lungs.

”James?” He says quietly, James spins around coming face to face with Remus, “I’m sorry.”

James nods,”Do you think Reggie will tell him?”

Remus shakes his head at once, “He wants his brother back and… I’ve fucked that for him..
haven’t I?”

James sighs loudly, “I don’t know Rem. Would you forgive your brother for fucking the man you
were going to propose to?”

Remus blinks at James, “What did you just say?”

James covers his mouth with his hand, “Shit, I wasn’t supposed to say anything.”

”He was going to propose?” Remus frowns at Sirius’ latest grand idea to win him back, “We’re not
even together!”

”No.” James sighs again, “He got the ring before.. everything. He wanted to be with you for the
rest of his life, I should know because I’m the one he told all his wild plans to.”

Remus exhales as he tries to take onboard this new information, he keeps walking and James
follows, his eyebrows furrowed with concern.

”Remus?” He asks after walking in silence for awhile, “What’s going on? Hmm? I’m worried
about you.”

”What? Why are you worried?” Remus asks a little to quickly, “I’m fine.”

”You're not the type of guy to go after your exes brother.” James points out as if it’s the most
obvious thing in the world.

Remus scratches the side of his face, “James.. I don’t know what to tell you. I did it to get back at
Sirius.. but..”He looks down towards the floor, “There is something there with Reg.”

”Yeah, the fact that he’s Sirius’ brother and they look alike.” James murmurs, rolling his eyes.

”No.” Remus breathes out, “It’s not that..I just..I feel it. Something in my gut is telling me to fix
things with Reggie.”Remus whispers quietly, almost afraid of his own thoughts, “My gut is
screaming Regulus.”

”and what about your heart?”

“Sirius.” Remus admits, “But I don’t know Reggie well enough to give him my heart..you know?”

James freezes, his eyebrows raised, “Do you think you ever could?”

Remus hesitates, his gut and his mind screaming ‘yes’ and he slowly nods, “I’ll never forgive
Sirius.. but maybe Reggie will forgive me.”

”Merlin.” James mumbles,”Is he really worth all the drama and fallout?”

Remus thinks about the last few days with Regulus, the few stolen moments together. He thinks
about the private kisses, the bonding over wizarding and muggle laws, the laughter and easy
conversations between them. He remembers the way Regulus’ had worked his magic before and a
smile breaks free, “Yeah...Reggie’s worth it.”

”Fuck.” James groans, “I want you to be happy Moony, I mean you deserve it but just don’t tell
Padfoot. Please?” James presses his lips together, “He can’t handle it.”

”I don’t even know if Reggie will speak to me again.” Remus admits, “I don’t think we need to
worry about Sirius finding out.”

James nods, “But if Reg forgives you and it starts up again. I’m begging you as your friend, please
hide it from Sirius. He’s..he’s really struggling with the breakup and this will kill him.”

”He will heal, people break up and meet new people all the tim-“

”Listen to me carefully, Remus.” James interrupts, “It. Will. Kill. Him.”

Remus’ eyebrows fall as he finally grasps what James is saying, concern flickers through him as he
bites his lip, “He’s been doing it again?”

”Yeah.” James confirms quietly, “It’s cleared up a bit since we made up, but.. I can’t lose him.”

”This is all my fault.”

“No it’s not.”James explains gently, “Sirius did a really selfish and stupid thing, it cost him the
person he loves but that was his fault. How he chose to deal with the aftermath, that was his choice.
But I know him enough to know that the relationship between you and Reg will be the thing that
throws him over the edge.” James takes a deep breath, “That will be the thing he can’t come back
from. So I beg of you, if you’re going to pursue this.. don’t let him find out.”

Remus shakes his head, “I won’t. I won’t pursue it.”

James visibly relaxes and smiles at Remus gratefully. As they walk along to their next class,
Remus already regrets what he said. How was he going to forget the last few days with Regulus?
How was he supposed to act like nothing had ever happened? He didn’t know why, but he just felt
like Reg was one of the most important people he’d ever met.. he didn’t want to go back to him just
being Sirius’ baby brother.

He didn’t want to let go.

 Chapter 6
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Reggie isn’t in the library the next day, or the following three days after that but Remus keeps
turning up anyway. Eventually, Reg has to turn up because like Remus, the library was his happy
place. At some point he’d need a book or a place to study, he couldn’t avoid the place forever.
Remus isn’t entirely sure how he’s going to apologise or even begin to explain, but for the last four
days all Remus could think about was Reggie.

He had never witnessed anything as scary as Regulus’ panic attack and knowing he was the reason
it had started made Remus feel truly awful. Remus had tried listening in on James’ and Sirius’ late
night talks, but James silencing charms were far too strong for his werewolf strength and he only
caught the odd words. It was frustrating because he just wanted to see that Reggie was alright.It
would be fine if Remus had seen him in the Great Hall at all, but he hadn’t been around for any
meals.

Just as he’s about to give up, however, there’s a clatter of chairs and he looks up and sees Reggie
sitting in his usual spot but he’s with his friends. Remus contemplates approaching for a moment,
taking a step closer but Reg looks across at him, his heart seems to stop and Remus backs off.

“Reg?”Barty asks, “What did you want to get?”

”Oh it doesn’t matter.” Reg shrugs, tearing his eyes away from Remus.

Evan rolls his eyes, “In that case I’m going to breakfast.”

”Yeah..you two go ahead. I’ll catch you up.” Reg decides, watching as his two friends leave then
grabs his bag to find something to read.

”Hi.” Remus says softly as he reaches Reggie’s table.

Reg glances at him, “What do you want?”

”To apologise.” Remus says quietly, “I fucked up-badly.”

“That’s an understatement.”

Remus presses his lips together, “I-I wanted to get back at him, I knew it would hurt him but..I
don’t want to do that anymore.”

”Good because I won’t help you anymore.” Regulus snarls.

”But I want-“

”Don’t you dare.” Regulus hisses standing to his feet and shoving the older boy in the chest.
“Don’t.”

”Reg please.” Remus begs weakly, “I haven’t stopped thinking about you.”

Reg freezes, Remus can hear his heart thumping heavily in his chest as he takes a sharp breath.

”You can’t say things like that.” Reg mutters shaking his head.
”Why not?” Remus asks, “It’s the truth. I want this..with you.”

Regulus shakes his head, “Remus. We can’t. He’s my brother.”

”I know.” Remus whispers, stepping closer and hesitating as he reaches out his hand to cup the side
of Reggie’s face, “But I can’t ignore how I feel.”

Reg stares hopelessly at Remus, feeling his knees weakening. He keeps looking at Remus,
searching his hazel eyes for the truth.

”And what about Sirius?”

Remus sighs, “I don’t know Reggie..but I won’t forgive him. We’re over..for good.”

”He cheat on you or something?” Reg asks, closing his eyes and feeling the warmth of Remus’
hand against his face.

”Or something.” Remus mutters, feeling the stab in his heart as he remembers what Sirius had
done.

Sirius forcefully tugs open James’ bedside drawer, making his friends eyes fly open from his deep
sleep. James reaches for his glasses as Sirius slams the drawer shut, carrying the small black box
away. James notices sitting up straighter, reaching for his Gryffindor jumper from the floor.

”What are you doing?”

”Its our anniversary today.” Sirius explains, putting the ring in his own drawer, “I think-“

James immediately shakes his head in protest, “That’s a really bad idea Padfoot! He hasn’t even
spoken to you all week!”

”Yeah but I think I’m getting him back.” Sirius explains in a rush, throwing his leather jacket on.

James climbs out of bed standing in his Gryffindor jumper and snitch pyjama bottoms, “What
makes you say that?”

Sirius smirks to himself, his cheeks flushing pink, “We almost fucked.”

James’ eyes widen as he stares at Sirius’ smug expression, “When?”

”Last week.” Sirius grins, his eyes shining brightly, “He came to the dorms, to make me go to class
and it just got heated and we were so close..but I stopped it. I really shouldn’t have, I should have
just let him fuck his anger out- it probably would have helpe-“

”Stop talking.” James mutters, feeling a migraine coming on, “What about the boyfriend?”

”Well that’s why I stopped isn’t it? I remembered his.. but he hasn’t had any hickies since so I
think they’re finished.”

James blinks at Sirius, “Fucking hell, he’s the one who left marks on your neck isn’t he?”

”Well yeah.. he’s the only one I’d let own me like that.”

James swears under his breath, thanking his lucky stars that Sirius had stopped Remus from
shagging, knowing that it would have killed him to do so. The pair of them were like dogs on heat
especially near the full moon. They were always at it. It had been quite peaceful in the dorms since
they separated, himself and Pete hadn’t walked into their room with them two fucking in weeks.
The tension was still there between them, the desire and pent up aggression. Somehow the mutual
pining was worse, it felt like a waiting game and the second Remus crumbled all the tension would
be gone. And both James and Peter would feel it, they’d know and they’d also be fully aware about
Remus thing with Regulus. There was no winning.

”I’m going to get him back.” Sirius says quietly, “I don’t want to be without him.”

James sighs, “But you don’t know that’s what he wants.”

”If that’s the case, then I’ll let him go but once the hurting stops, he will forgive me and he will
come back to me.” Sirius explains, his voice low and quiet, “He’s my Moon, James. He always
comes back to me.”

The two are interrupted by Peter awakening with a loud yawn, he jumps out of bed when he
realises the time and hurriedly starts changing, stubbing his toes on the corner of his trunk and
hopping around as he squeals in pain. Sirius laughs before running to the bathroom, running a
comb through his hair and brushing his teeth.

James grabs Peters arm, ensuring Sirius is occupied in the bathroom, “Keep Remus away from
Sirius today.”

”Like that’ll be hard.” Peter snorts, “They don’t talk to each other anymore.”

”It’s there anniversary Peter.” James hisses lowly, “Sirius is going to seek Remus out and pop the
fucking question.”

”Oh merlin!” Peter mutters shaking his head, “What an idiot.”

James arches his eyebrow disapprovingly, “He’s not an idiot, he’s in love.”

”Precisely.” Peter says, “Love is for idiots.”

“What are you two whispering about?” Sirius says once he re-emerges from the en-suite.

”Classes.” James shrugs as Peter replies with “Food.”

”Food and classes.” James nods, “Both of them.”

Sirius makes a face then shrugs at the two blithering idiots before him, “Let’s go get breakfast
then.”

The three of them leave the dormitory, neither Pete or James noticing the letter Sirius has left on
the top of Remus’ pillow. He would not be chasing Remus around the castle today, he wasn’t going
to track him down and get on one knee. He had chosen their anniversary to start his declarations of
love, to slowly win his wonderful boyfriend back. Remus Lupin had always been a sucker for a
little bit of romance.

Madame Pince clears her throat, forcing the two boys to break apart, she raises her eyebrows and
tuts in disapproval, “No kissing in my library.”

”Sorry Ma’am.” Reggie apologises, his cheeks burning red as he side eyes Remus.

Remus hangs his head unable to look the librarian in the eyes, “Sorry Madame, it won’t happen
again.”
She turns on her heels, her head held high as she starts reorganising the shelves. Regulus starts
laughing to himself as he grabs his bag. Remus reaches out stopping him from leaving.

”I’ll see you tomorrow.” Reggie smiles with a nod.

A grin spreads across Remus’ face, “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Regulus enters the Great Hall, a small smile across his face. He makes his way to his friends, who
both rise their eyebrows suspiciously at his sudden cheerier mood. He had been depressed the last
few days, then suddenly he was right as rain again after a trip to the library no less! Moments later
Remus Lupin enters, Barty and Evan exchange looks as they notice Remus take a double glance
towards Reggie. They see the way Reg’s face flushes a deep shade of red as he reaches for some
toast.

Evan pulls a face of disgust, looking his friend up and down as if he was cow shit. Barty, however,
bites his lip with worry as he sees the way Evan switches up. He shoots Evan an annoyed
expression, they didn’t know for sure that Reg was gay. There was no need to start acting hostile,
they were the best of friends- would it really matter if he was gay? Barty couldn’t imagine his life
without his best friend in it, whether Reggie was gay or not, Reg was still his brother. He’d have
his back, no matter what.

Reggie’s friends aren’t the only two who notice the time frame in which the two boys arrived.
James holds the mug in his hands, sipping slowly as Remus takes his seat besides Peter. He notices
the slightly swollen lips as soon as Remus sits down, he shoots Remus a glare across the table
making the taller boy sink low with guilt.

Remus looks down at his plate, noticing his plate already has his toast on it. He swallows the lump
in his throat, seeing the four triangles with his favourite four toppings spread evenly across. He
glances at Sirius who’s nervously chewing the inside of his cheek, waiting for a reaction. He looks
so nervous, his grey eyes look worried and it tugs on Remus’ heartstrings.

”Um thanks.” He says awkwardly.

James and Peter exchange nervous glances, James gives Peter an encouraging nod as Peter clears
his throat. Remus and Sirius break eye contact, their hearts hammering against their chests as they
look toward Peter.

”Remus, I really need your help with something.” Peter says, glancing at James anxiously, “I need
help with my herbology essay.”

Remus sighs, “Herbology is first lesson Wormtail! Why have you left it so late to ask for help?”

”You have not been around much.” Peter says truthfully, feeling a pang of guilt at the words

Remus nods feverishly, “Yeah you’re right. I’m sorry Wormtail.”

”What are you sorry for?” Sirius snorts, “He can do his own bleeding essay.”

Remus shakes his head as he stands to his feet, piling the toast in the palm of his hand, “Come on
then Wormy, we better get started if we want to make class on time.”

Sirius stares at Remus’ ass as he walks away, running his tongue along his teeth as he settles down
with a smug smirk. Peter hurries after Remus, carrying a handful of breakfast muffins. James
breathes a sigh of relief that the two former lovers had been separated. Now they’d just have to
survive the rest of the day without any drama.
”He took the toast.” Sirius smiles fondly.

”That doesn’t mean anything.” James points out, “You know what he’s like with his food.”

“Yeah and who’s the only other person other than himself that Moony would ever let feed him?”
Sirius grins, “He accepted the food and didn’t fuss.”

James forces a smile, not wanting to dampen Sirius’ happiness. It had been such a long few weeks
since Sirius had genuinely smiled this much. It did worry James that Sirius was making such a big
deal of something so minuscule, but for the first time in weeks he had hope.

Remus and Peter are a few minutes late to herbology, meaning they had to take the last two
available spots at the back of the greenhouse. James was thankful as himself and Sirius stood
toward the front, messing about and cracking jokes the whole time- just like old times.

”I would be mad but it’s good to see you back to your annoying self, Sirius.” Lily Evans smiles
from next to him.

Sirius grins at her, “Is that a compliment Evans?”

”The closest thing you’ll get as a compliment from me anyway.” She mumbles, turning her
attention back to the plant she’s trimming.

Sirius grabs a handful of soil then drops it in James’ hair, laughing as James starts shaking it out
like a dog. Lily scowls at them but a faint smile makes it way to the corners of her mouth as she
watches James struggle.

”We should go to the forest tonight.” James suggests quietly.

”Aw the soil get you in the mood, my deer?” Sirius teases.

James rolls his eyes, using the teasing as an excuse, “Yes.”

The truth was he just wanted to keep Sirius and Remus apart for a long as possible, at least just for
today. He didn’t want Sirius to humiliate himself by proposing, especially now he knew Regulus
had forgiven Remus. That Remus had gone back on his word and was in fact pursing the younger
Black heir.

“Fine.” Sirius agrees with a soft shrug.

James blinks in surprise, he expected to have to put up a fight or something. Why was Sirius
willing on the night of his and Moony’s anniversary? Especially if he planned on proposing and
trying to get Remus back?

After their final meal in the Great Hall that evening, James and Sirius sneak out of the castle in the
disguise of night. Remus and Peter don’t notice the two disappearing members of their dorm as
they head up to Gryffindor tower. Peter falls onto his bed immediately with a loud sigh, resting his
eyes. Remus snorts at him as he throws his bag on his bed and turns towards the door.

”You not coming to the study session, Wormtail?” Remus asks kindly.

”Nah I’m waiting up for James, I need to ask him something.” Peter shrugs, turning over onto his
side.

Remus leaves Peter to it, knowing that he will be snoring by the time he makes it downstairs. A
small group of first years are crowded around the table with Lily, who’s face lights up as she spots
Remus. He takes the empty spot besides her, smiling back at her.

”You’re back.”

”I said I would come didn’t I?”

Lily throws her arms around him tightly and squeezes him, “I missed you so much!”

”I missed you too, Lils.”

”Ewww.” One of the first years says, scrunching up their face, “They’re in love!”

”Oh stop it Atlas!” Scolds a girl with dark brown ringlets, “It’s romantic!”

Remus snorts lightly and shakes his head, “We’re not in love.”

”Oh.. but why?” The girl asks, “She’s very pretty.”

Lily blushes, “Because we’re just friends April, girls and boys can be friends.”

”Yeah just likes girls can date girls and boys can date boys.” Atlas smirks, making several of the
first years gag in disgust.

”There’s nothing wrong with that.” Lily says sternly at them, “Love should be with whomever one
likes.”

Remus recoils shyly, clearing his throat, “So..Potions.”

After an hour of helping first years with their potions homework, Lily sees them off to bed before
sitting besides Remus on the couch by the fire. Lily rests her head on his shoulder, smiling
contently as she reads over his shoulder.

”Did you mean what you said?” Remus asks shyly, “About loving whoever..”

Lily sits up, her bottle green eyes staring into Remus’ brown ones and smiles, “Rem, of course. I
loved you and Sirius together- I know it was a secret but it was obvious to me.”

“It was?”

”Yes.” Lily whispers, “I might not be your best friend Remus, but you are mine. I noticed.”

Remus relaxes, closing his book shut, “Lils, you most definitely are my best friend.”

”Yeah?” Lily asks grinning, “Did you and Sirius fix things?”

Remus falters, his forehead creasing, “I-“

”I got it wrong didn’t I?” Lily facepalms, “I just thought, well both of you seemed much happier
today compared to the last few weeks.”

”Ah.” Remus swallows harshly, “I..I met someone else, Lily.”

”Oh..” Lily whispers, “They’re not out yet either are they?”

”No.” Remus responds with a small shrug, “But I wouldn’t be either if I had the choice.”
”I’m sorry.” Lily says, squeezing Remus’ arm, “I’m sorry you didn’t get a choice.”

Remus smiles, resting his head on top of Lily’s, “It’s okay Lily.”

James and Sirius run through the forest, James ducking branches as his antlers are far too big.
Sirius barks with amusement as James gets caught, and carries on running towards their favourite
spot. Eventually, James catches up with leaves and twigs wrapped around his antlers. Padfoot
jumps into the cold lake, yelping from the change in temperature and starts swimming around
happily. James ducks his head, lapping up the cool water with his tongue.

Lily yawns as she stands, rubbing her eyes sleepily and bids Remus goodnight. Remus realised that
he could talk to Lily, if not the other boys about his current situation but Lily was pure and kind.
She would never approve of Remus’ decision, just like everyone else- he would possibly lose her.

Sirius joins James on land, both boys back in their human forms lay on their backs and stare up at
the stars.

”Reggie’s out tonight.” Sirius mumbles, pointing the the stars above.

”Did you two..talk?” James asks, leaning on his arm to watch Sirius speak.

Sirius groans, “Not since the panic attack.. I still don’t know what happened to make him like that..
I think it was my parents.”

Remus creeps into the bedroom, not wanting to disturb Peter. He notices both James and Sirius are
still not back, telling himself they’re most likely galavanting around the castle and getting up to no
good. He starts stripping, grabbing a pair of pyjama bottoms from his trunk and changing. He
throws his bag onto the floor, then notices the parchment laid on his pillow.

He pulls a face, reaching for his wand, “Lumos.” He mutters.

His heart sinks, recognising the messy writing immediately as he unfolds it.

moony,

happy anniversary. I know we’re not together anymore but when I look at you I still see our future.I
know you can’t forgive me, I can’t forgive me either but I still love you. My heart still belongs to
you and I think yours belongs to me too. We’re soulmates me and you. I never used to believe in
things like that before but you taught me what love is. I think love is when you can’t go a day
without thinking about the other person and when you’re apart it’s like a piece of you is missing.
I’ve been numb with out you moony like that piece is gone and I can feel the ache and I feel the
weight of the loss every waking moment.I don’t expect you to forgive me anytime soon, not even
ever. What I did was cowardly and cruel and I didn’t think. I never think. but I really believe we’re
meant to be and I refuse to give up on you, not after I spent so long loving you. I know you love me,
I see it in your eyes. I see it in the small moments that you forget what it is I did. You love me
Moony and I love you and love conquers all, right?

love you forever S.B x

Remus crumples the parchment in his hand, dropping it to the floor. He gets under the covers,
burying himself beneath them and uses his wand to close the curtains around him. His heart feels
heavy, it doesn’t break though. It’s as if it can’t break any further, like his heart had experienced so
much pain already, that it’s impossible. The damage was already done but still the tears came and
they didn’t stop.
 Sirius and James return to the castle after midnight, Sirius having survived the anniversary without
thinking of it much- or so James thought.The first thing Sirius does when he arrives at the dorm
though is notice the drawn curtains around Remus’ bed. Then he notices the crumpled paper laid
on the floor, he reaches for it straightaway as James watches curiously.

”What did you do Padfoot?”

Sirius rubs his lips together, uncrumpling the parchment and noticing the smudged ink where
Remus had evidently cried.

”I told him the truth.”

He puts the paper in the drawer of his bedside table with the ring. James comes up behind him,
reaching for it but Sirius swats his hand away.

”Not for your four eyes, Potter.”

”Padfoot.” James groans, “I though you were leaving him alone today?”

Sirius shrugs, “Didn’t want him to forget what today was.”

”I doubt he forgot.” James mutters, remembering Regulus’ and Remus’ arrival to breakfast this
morning.

Was that why Remus had kissed Regulus again today? To forget about Sirius? James wasn’t sure
but the idea made him feel quite ill.

Chapter End Notes

Okay I started this with the intention of moonseeker endgame but as the story unfolds
I’m just like hmm maybe it is wolfstar. who knows? because even I don’t know
anymore whatever happens will happen I guess.

Spoiler alert!!!!! Remus did forget the anniversary btw that’ll become obvious in the
next update.

Thanks for reading and for all the comments etc it makes me so happy and motivates
me so much to actually complete this story!
 Chapter 7
Chapter Notes

SMUT WARNING

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Remus had been so preoccupied worrying about Reggie, that the date had genuinely slipped his
mind. It made sense why James and Sirius had spent the day before avoiding him and Peter now.
Remus had made such a massive deal last year, spoiling Sirius and treating him like a fucking king
for the day.. a year later, he hadn’t even remembered the significance of that random Thursday.
Despite being broken up, Remus felt unbearably guilty for not remembering. The worst part is that
he never thought he would. He’d always assumed that the date would be engraved permanently
into his skull and heart, he assumed he would wake up and magically know what day it was, but
he hadn’t. He had been so busy trying to check on Regulus, that he hadn’t even thought about the
pending anniversary.

Once he started crying reading Sirius’ note, he couldn’t stop. The tears fell and they kept on falling
until Remus finally fell asleep. When he eventually woke the next day, it was to find the other beds
empty and his heart sank at the thought of being late for classes. He rummages through his trunk
for clean uniform when the bathroom door opens, he turns and sees Sirius standing their in nothing
but a towel around his waist.

”Oh sorry I assumed I had the place to myself.” Sirius explains quickly.

Remus presses his lips together, his eyes looking Sirius up and down subtly. Sirius turns away from
Remus, water dripping to the floor as Sirius searches through his own trunk. With Sirius’ back to
him, Remus undresses quietly but as he’s about to slip on clean boxers he feels Sirius eyes on him.

“Look away.” Remus hisses grumpily.

Sirius snickers immaturely, “Nothing I’ve never seen before moonbeam.”

”Don’t call me that.”

The tension between them is highly flammable as they both continue to get dressed, any moment it
could erupt into passionate flames. It’s Remus who gets caught watching Sirius next, checking out
his bare arse as he bends over to pull his own boxers on.

It wasn’t Remus’ fault Sirius had a bloody fantastic pair of bum cheeks.

”Look away Moony.”Sirius smirks to himself.

”Nothing I haven’t seen before.” Remus hits back as he puts his sweater on over his shirt.

Sirius smiles to himself as Remus shuts the bathroom door and locks it behind him.Sirius continues
to get dressed, drying his hair with a quick spell and taking some time styling it. He opens his
bedside drawer, grabbing his eyeliner, glancing briefly at the ring box and he bites his lip. He
knew Remus would love the ring, it was special and personal to them.Sirius had put so much
thought and care into choosing the right one, he knew it was perfect for his love. He knew Remus
would really appreciate it..or would have, once upon a time.

Remus stares at his reflection after brushing his teeth, he’s both angry and disappointed in himself.
How could he tell one brother he wanted to try with him just to have a mindless flirt with the other?
James was right, this isn’t the type of person Remus was. The longer he stares at himself in the
mirror, the more he can’t register the man staring back at him.

He can hear Sirius faffing around as he gets ready for class, yesterday had been their anniversary
and instead of celebrating together, Remus had spent the night crying about it all instead. He sinks
to the floor, resting his back against the sink unit and praying both his boner and Sirius to just fuck
off. He hated that Sirius was the cause of his erection when just the other day it had been Reg. It
made Remus all too aware of what a bad person he was becoming.

There’s a sharp tap at the door, “Remus? You alright?”

Fucking Sirius, acting as if he cared at all about Remus’ well-being and mental state. He was the
reason he had been spiralling uncontrollably, hurting people he was supposed to care about.

”Yeah.” Remus says quietly.

Sirius keeps his ear against the door, the worry setting in, “I just.. I need to brush my teeth before I
go..”

“Oh right.”

He hears Remus struggling to his feet, huffing and sighing as he moves. There was only a week left
until the next moon and Sirius really wanted to be there. He was positive Remus wouldn’t allow it
though. Remus unlocks the door, shyly reappearing from the other side.

”Have you a spare tie I can borrow?” Sirius asks quickly not wanting Remus to leave, “I lost mine
last night.. I errr went to the forest with Prongs.”

Remus nods awkwardly as he goes over to his trunk to fetch it. When Sirius comes out of the
bathroom, Remus chucks the spare tie at the shorter boy desperately trying to hide his erection. It
always got worse nearer to the moon and Sirius was perfectly aware.

”Can I just say..”Sirius says suddenly, “ I really am sorry.”

Remus rolls his eyes with irritation, “Yeah, so you’ve said.”

”Remus..” Sirius speaks quietly, resting the waters,“If..you’ll let me.. I’d really like to be there
next we-“

”No.”

”Okay.” Sirius nods sadly, “Erm.. I’m going to go to class.”

”Good.” Remus says hotly, part of him just continuing the conversation so Sirius won’t go.

Sirius turns away, Remus watching his bum as he walks toward the door. Once the door closes,
Remus grabs a pillow as he falls back into his bed, placing it over his face to muffle the scream.
Seconds later the door flies open again, Sirius panting from running back up the stairs. He catches
Remus screaming into the pillow and noticing the tent in his trousers. Remus removes the pillow
from his face, staring at Sirius as he grabs his school bag from his bed.
As Sirius reaches the door to leave again, it shuts on him and when he turns, Remus is standing
over him. His wolfy instinct taking over.

”Remus?” Sirius gulps nervously.

”Show me how sorry you are.” He says lowly, his eyes not moving from Sirius’ startled grey ones.

Sirius bites his lip, dropping his bag to the floor and then falls to his knees obediently. He undoes
Remus’ trousers, pulling them down with his boxer shorts and weakens at the sight of his dick. He
feels heat in stomach as his own cock starts hardening in his pants. Before he can talk himself out
of it again or before Remus can change his mind- Sirius licks the pre-cum glistening the head of
Remus’ cock and moans delightedly at the familiar taste.

He slowly sucks the tip, engulfing more and more of Remus’ cock as he sucks on him like a
lollipop. Remus has one hand against the door, holding himself up, the other runs through Sirius
hair as he moans desperately. Sirius takes Remus down his throat, spluttering as his eyes start
watering. He starts gagging on his size, unable to take the last few inches so he takes his hand and
twists the base as he sucks. Remus curses, his hips start fucking Sirius’ open mouth. Sirius can tell
Remus is close, he removes his mouth and looks up at Remus between his lashes.

Remus looks down at him, his eyes filled with lust as he wipes Sirius’ tears away, “You’re such a
good boy.”

Sirius whimpers in pleasure before sitting on his hands, knowing the routine between them both.
He opens his mouth, ready for Remus to start fucking his face.

”You’re such a little whore aren’t you Padfoot? Hmm?”

Sirius nods then Remus thrusts his aching dick inside Sirius mouth. The whimpers from Sirius
make Remus fuck harder, his hands grabbing Sirius’ hair to keep him in place.

”Ah- fuck. Re-fucking hell.”

Sirius looks at Remus through tear filled eyes, seeing the way Moony takes over. With one final
thrust, Remus cums violently down Sirius’ throat and Sirius swallows, happy with himself for
satisfying Remus.

Remus’ head falls back against the door as he pants and tries to catch his breath. Sirius stands
shakily to his feet, staring at Remus’ still hard dick. That was the problem leading up to the full
moon, Remus was addicted. He could go over and over and over again, himself and Sirius had
figured it out as a couple. They knew how to keep both of them satisfied and safe.

Remus comes back to himself, he looks at Sirius and guilt flashes across his face as he starts
pulling his pants up. Sirius watches in alarm as Remus grabs his things and hurries out of the door,
leaving Sirius alone again. Sirius touches his sore jaw as he sinks down into his bed, confusion
washing over him.

Remus had never done that before, he would never just ditch. Of course Sirius missed pleasuring
Remus, he missed the sex and watching as Remus came undone to his touch but he missed
cuddling after. He missed the way Remus would hold him, make sure he hadn’t gone too wolf on
him..he thought that he would get that part too. He remembers how Remus had warned him that
time, that he would do it then runaway, but Sirius never believed it because Moony wasn’t the type
of person to do that. He just wasn’t..at least not before.

Sirius lays back on the bed, covering his face with his hands. He really had fucked everything up,
he didn’t even know what Remus was like anymore.

Remus arrives twenty minutes late to second lesson in defence against the dark arts. He presses his
lips together as he sees an empty desk at the back- and a single empty seat besides Severus Snape.
His eyes widen at the predicament, Sirius would be arriving to class soon and it was either sit
besides the man he almost murdered or sit besides the man he had just..used.

Hesitantly he walks forward, noticing the way James sits up straighter and starts shaking his head
in protest as he takes the empty seat besides Severus. Snape stiffens, shuffling his chair the extra
small inch away from Remus. Their Professor continues teaching throughout Remus’ late arrival,
not noticing anything is off.

”Severus?” Remus asks quietly.

Snape looks at Remus with a disgusted expression, and Remus sees a deep scar across his right
cheek that wasn’t there before. He stares at it, his mouth unmoving despite all he wants to say.

”Yes. You did that.” Snape supplies fiercely, “I still don’t understand why Dumbledore allows a
monster like you to roam the school grounds.”

Remus’ heart drops at the word ‘monster’, it was the word he had feared his entire life. It was the
reason he never told his friends, he didn’t want to be known as a monster- he just wanted to be
Remus. Just Remus. The classroom door opens, Remus and Snape both turn to see a flustered Sirius
who’s eyes widen seeing Remus sat with Snape. He glances nervously at James who shrugs as
Sirius takes his own seat at the empty desk. Sirius realises a beat later that Remus would rather sit
besides Severus Snape, than risk sitting besides him.

Snape laughs darkly, turning to his attention back to Remus, “You still haven’t forgiven him? I can
offer you..a way out.”

”A way out?” Remus frowns.

”I know many powerful wizards.” Snape says lowly, “Disgusting half breeds like you..are being
offered refuge by said wizards..”

Remus face twists into further confusion, “What are you going on about?”

”The Dark Lord.” Snape whispers, looking Remus up and down with distaste, “He’s after your kind
to join his army.”

Remus scrambles from his seat, abandoning his bag as he rushes from the classroom. Everything is
spinning violently as he finds his way to the nearest boys toilets, he throws himself into the closest
cubicle, kneeling on the cold tiled floor as he starts dry heaving. This is what Remus was so afraid
of, being grouped as one of them. He was all too aware of the wizarding war building outside of
Hogwarts safety. He knew the werewolf responsible for Remus’ lycanthropy was on Voldemorts
side as we’re many others. Others that were werewolves just like him.

He hears the bathroom doors and footsteps, he holds his breath, not wanting to face Sirius or their
friends right now. The new arrivals start talking in low whispers, Remus furrows his eyebrows
together realising it’s not the marauders at all.

“So..you like this bloke then?” One voice asks with concern.

”Yeah.” Regulus says, “Yeah I do.”

Barty sighs exasperatedly at his best friend, “Are you a queer then?”

Regulus’ face falls, “It doesn’t mean I fucking fancy you! It’s just Remus!”

”Remus Lupin?!” Barty hisses, “That’s the bloke you’ve been seeing? Fucking hell Reg!”

Remus comes out of the bathroom stall, his wand raised. He was all to used to the homophobic
bullying that came from the Slytherins, he clears his throat alerting the two boys to his presence.

”Issue here?” Remus asks, his eyebrow raised.

Barty looks from Remus back to Reg, “You brought your bloody boyfriend here? Did you think I
was going to harm you or something?!”

”He didn’t know I was here.” Remus shrugs, “Just good timing I suppose.”

“I wasn’t going to hurt him.” Barty says, holding his hands up in surrender, “He’s still my best
friend.”

Remus lowers his wand, then several more footsteps enter. Remus’ face drops as Sirius, James and
Peter arrive, James has hold of Remus’ bag and drops it along with his own. Sirius and James
instinctively reach for their wands, pointing them in the direction of the two Slytherins. Barty
scoffs at James, reaching for his own wand as Sirius keeps his trained on his baby brother. He
knew the Slytherins were a bunch of small minded homophobic wankers but seeing his brother
ganging up on Remus with Barty sucked. He would gladly hex his brother to protect Remus
though.

”Problem here?” He asks, rising his eyebrows.

”No!” Remus groans, glancing at James who lowers his wand away from Barty.

Regulus glares at his brother, “Stop wafting that thing in my fucking face.”

”I know what you Slytherins are like. Bullying Moony for being gay again are we?” Sirius asks
pointing his wand between his brother and his friend.

”No?” Barty says puzzled, he looks at Reggie, “Does he not fucking know?”

”Know what?” Sirius asks frustratedly.

He was getting a bit sick of Reggie’s friends saying that in front of him, about him. It was usually
something to do with their parents or some other unhinged member of the family. Obviously Sirius
was always last to know. He stares at his little brother, noticing the fear in his eyes and lowers his
wand.

”What is it Reg?”

Reggie inhales shakily, James’ heart pounds in his chest as he looks at Remus then Regulus then
Sirius. Peter cowers behind James, his own heart racing as he waits for the bomb to drop. Remus
side eyes Reggie nervously, the younger boy standing with his back to him looking at his big
brother. Remus starts chewing his lip anxiously, drawing blood as he waits for Reg to tell Sirius
what they had been doing. He grips his wand in his hand, prepared to step between the brothers if it
got nasty. It had barely been an hour since he came down Sirius’ throat.

”I-I’m gay.” Reggie says quietly.

Sirius’ face screws up with confusion and then he bursts out laughing, “Bloody hell!”

Barty grabs his wand and points it towards Sirius, “What’s fucking funny? He just trusted you with
his-“

”It’s f-funny b-because our parents-“ Sirius struggles to speak through his laughter, “They got two
gay heirs! There’s no one left to carry on the Black f-family name!”

Barty lowers his wand, watching as Regulus starts to smile and his shoulders start shaking with
amusement. James snorts loudly, which makes the two brothers laugh even harder. Even Remus
smiles at the brothers as they share a moment, Sirius resting his hand on Regulus’ shoulder as he
squeezes his eyes shut, both of them laughing at their parents demise.

”So Lupin, where are you taking Reg on your first date?” Barty asks smiling.

Sirius and Regulus both stop laughing, Sirius’ hand drops from his shoulder as he pulls a face at
him, “Moony is not dating my brother.”

”Oh but Regulus-“

”Barty!” Regulus hisses, “Shut up!”

Sirius starts laughing again, “Shit Reg! You have a crush on Moony? Bless you.”

Reggie turns a deep shade of red, “I am bloody leaving now.”

He takes off, Barty besides him apologising for landing Regulus in the shit. Reg glances back at
Remus, both of them exchanging a small thankful smile. Both of them relieved that Sirius was none
the wiser about their recent development. Regulus would just have to ask Remus another time
where he was that morning.

”Aww.” Sirius gushes as the four of them head to charms, “I can’t believe my brother has a crush
on you, wait until he finds out I beat him to it.”

James’ face flickers with anger as he glares at Remus with disgust. Unfortunately for Remus, Sirius
had told his best friend exactly what had taken place in their dorm room earlier. After all, anything
that happened to Sirius, James was always the first one to hear about it.

James grabs ahold of Remus by the arm, pulling him back through the corridor as the other two go
inside the charms classroom. He harshly lets go, gritting his teeth together. Remus looks guilty as
sin and James just shakes his head.

”What the fuck are you playing at?” James hisses.

”What are you on about?” Remus ask, genuinely confused and none the wiser about Sirius’ little
gossip.

“You can’t fucking have them both.” James says, watching as Remus face falls.

”He told you?”

”He tells me everything.”

Remus sighs with stress, “It just happened okay? It wasn’t supposed to and it won’t happen again.”

”You say that but it’s you and Padfoot.” James mutters, “It’s obvious that Reggie likes you! You’re
 going to hurt them both, Remus.”

”I like him too.” Remus mumbles, his face heating with shame, “I really do.”

”Then stop stringing Sirius along Remus.”

”I’m not trying to.”

James throws his arms around as he feels his anger building towards the werewolf, he’s about to
continue arguing when their Professor clears her throat, nodding them into the classroom.

”This isn’t over.” James hisses as he slams into his seat besides Sirius.

”What’s all that about?” Sirius asks James nervously.

James scoffs angrily as he pushes his glasses up, “Remus is still dating that other boy.”

”Oh.” Sirius says in a small voice, feeling his heart cracking even further, “Right..”

Chapter End Notes

Angry James
 Chapter 8
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Remus is up and out of the dormitory at 6am on a Saturday morning, just like it was any other day
within the school week and not the weekend. The other three boys wouldn’t get up until midday at
least, meaning Remus could spend time with Reggie without worrying. That’s if Reg was in the
library, they hadn’t been able to arrange their next meeting and Remus had missed the last one,
because he was..fooling around with Sirius. Despite his complicated feelings and history with the
elder Black brother, Remus really did like Reggie. After his run in with James outside of charms, he
had made a decision, he wanted to get to know Reg better. He was never going to forgive Sirius for
what he did, but he had something else brewing with his brother and it was worth seeing what that
was.

He sat in his usual spot after choosing a thick brown book on Alchemy from the bookcases to pass
the time. Just an hour later, the seat besides Remus was untucked and Reggie sat down. A smile
found its way across his face as the younger boy placed his own book down.

“What are you reading?” He asks glancing at the front cover.

“Will you be quiet,please?”

Remus flushes, “Yeah sure, sorry.”

“No that’s the name of the book.” Reg says with a small laugh as he shows Remus the cover.

“Oh right, a muggle book?”

Regulus nods, “It’s only came out last year, I haven’t read it yet. What are you reading?”

“Just brushing up on Alchemy.” Remus shrugs, shutting the book and looking at Reg with a smile,
“Thanks for yesterday by the way.”

“I didn’t want that to be the way he finds out.” Reg says softly, “Especially when we’re still getting
to know each other.”

Remus turns to hide his burning cheeks as he smiles to himself, “So tell me about yourself.”

“Oh..erm, I’m Regulus Arcturus Black. I was born December 25th 1960.“

”You’re a Christmas baby?”

“Unfortunately.” Reg shrugs, “Sirius never mention it?”

Remus shakes his head, hating that his ex boyfriend has just been mentioned. Reg can sense the
awkwardness and swiftly changes the subject.

”When’s your birthday?”

“10th March 1960.”

”So you’re only a few months older than me.” Regulus grins, “I thought you were ancient like my
brother.”
”He’s only a year older than you.” Remus shrugs, “He’s just turned seventeen.”

“Yeah it’s weird because I turn seventeen a month after he turns eighteen.”

Regulus realises he’s mentioned Sirius again, scolding himself inside his head. He’s meant to be
getting to know Remus and vice versa, his brother should not be getting a mention every two
minutes.

”There’s somewhere I wanted to take you actually.” Remus speaks up after a moments silence,
“Think of it as that first date Barty was asking about yesterday.”

Regulus blushes red and sighs, “I can’t believe he said that.”

Remus stands up, holding out his hand for Reggie who takes it and is hoisted out of his seat. They
abandon their books on the table as Remus drags Regulus along, both of them are laughing as they
reach the one-eyed witch statue. Remus drops Reggie’s hand, smiling at the younger boy who
frowns in confusion.

”What I’m about to show you is top secret.” Remus says sternly, “You can’t show anyone. Not
even Barty.”

”Barty might fancy her though!” Reg jokes pointing at the statue.

Remus smiles as he shakes his head, then taps the witches hump and says, “Dissendium.”

The witch shifts slightly, the hump opening up to reveal a hidden staircase. Reggie steps back in
disbelief, he had heard rumours about hidden passageways and hidden rooms about the castle
before but he had never managed to find one.

He glances at Remus nervously, “After you.”

Remus shrugs and steps inside, offering a hand to Reg who takes it, checking behind him for any
potential onlookers. Once they’re both inside, the witch moves trapping them both in the dark and
Reg grabs onto Remus tighter.

”Lumos.” Remus says, lighting up the passage with a flick of his wand, “You okay, Reggie?”

”Yeah.. fine.” He whispers, still holding onto Remus’ hand tightly.

He really didn’t like the dark.

Sirius wakes up besides James, the two boys cuddling close. He stretches before looking at Remus’
empty bed, his heart sinking. It was the weekend and Remus hadn’t slept in, he was probably off
with his stupid ugly boyfriend. With the full moon getting closer, Sirius knew Remus would need
all the rest he could get beforehand. It made Sirius hate Remus’ mystery man even more that he
did already. Remus’ health was being compromised and he hated the idea of the full moon going
wrong because Remus hadn’t slept. Logically, Sirius knew it wasn’t the boyfriends fault because
Remus wouldn’t have opened up about his furry little problem.

That was one thing that Remus was never going to speak about. That was one thing Sirius could be
there for that this boyfriend couldn’t. Sirius had researched lycanthropy, he knew the ins and outs
of the disease better than most researchers. He could look after Remus without ever asking too
much because he already knew. The tiny voice in his head reminds him yet again of what he had
done, reminds him how he betrayed his boyfriend and how it was his own fault he couldn’t be
there for his Moony anymore.
He starts getting the dark all consuming thoughts, he has to dig his fingernails into his skin to fight
the overwhelming urge to harm himself. He can’t see past punishing himself for what he did.
Luckily, James awakens, he sees the trance Sirius is lost in and holds his hands in his own, forcing
his best friend to stop scratching at his skin.

Remus helps Regulus into Honeydukes cellar. He can’t help but smile at the look on Reggie’s face
when he realises where they are. Reg looks around, peering at all the different boxes and jars that
are stored beneath the main shop. He looks at Remus with excitement and shock.

“How did you know this was here?” Reg asks.

Remus shrugs, then points to the sweets, “Help yourself, I’ll leave money here for them.”

”Really?” Reggie asks, “Isn’t it just easier to go to the actual shop?”

”Hogsmede isn’t this weekend.” Remus points out, “Just let me treat you to something.”

Regulus hesitates as he reads the front of the cardboard boxes, he notices the chocolate frogs and
gets one for Evan. Then he finds Barty’s favourite liquorice wands and gets him two of them.
Eventually he stops at the chocolate bars, reaching for his favourite kind and smiles at Remus
gratefully.

”That it?” Remus asks with surprise.

”Yeah. There’s no point taking more than necessary.”

Reggie reaches into his pockets, grabbing some change but Remus holds out his arm to stop him.

”Let me pay.”

”You can pay for me.” Regulus winks, placing the money on the side, “But I’m paying for my
friends.”

Remus looks down at Regulus’ tiny haul of goodies, the marauders including himself often stuffed
their pockets with sweets. He just stands and smiles at him for a moment, not quite believing how
nice and thoughtful he was in comparison. Remus’ face falls as he realises who he’s comparing
Reg too, quickly brushing over his train of thought.

”The chocolates my favourite too.” Remus whispers after doing the math and figuring out which
item he was paying for.

”You have excellent taste then.” Reg smiles, “None of that magical jumping chocolate or hard
boiled sweets, just nice normal chocolate bars.”

Remus nods in agreement, holding his breath as Regulus comes closer to him.

”Thanks for showing me.” Reg says with a drop of sarcasm, “You’ve ruined my diet now I know
how to get down here.”

Remus huffs a laugh, “Diet? You’re skin and bone! It’s about time you fattened up.”

Remus starts playfully prodding the younger boy in the stomach, making Reg laugh as he tries to
shrug the Gryffindor off him. They hear a clatter on the floor upstairs, both of stop laughing as
Remus pulls Reg along, rushing back to their escape.

Just as they close the secret floorboard, they hear the cellar door unlocking and a gruff man
muttering to himself with bewilderment.Reg covers his mouth with his hand as he tries not to laugh
again, Remus pulls him along the passageway. Eventually, stopping once they’re out of earshot.

“Thanks for that.” Regulus smiles genuinely, “I had a lot of fun.”

Remus smiles back, “It’s not over just yet.”

The Slytherin looks at Remus shyly, feeling much smaller under his gaze. Remus plants a gentle
kiss on Reggie’s forehead, which makes Reg tingly all over. He watches the elder boy back away,
then instinctively reaches forward for him and pulling him down by his jacket and kissing him on
the mouth. Remus kisses him back, stumbling forward and pressing Regulus up against the curve
of the tunnel.

James holds Sirius in his arms as he breaks down, sobbing uncontrollably about Remus and his
mystery boyfriend. Peter and James keep nervously looking at each other, knowing they can’t keep
hiding Remus and Regulus from Sirius. James was against telling Sirius but after the last two days,
he was starting to reconsider. If Sirius was ever going to get over Remus, then maybe it was the
truth that would get him past that first hurdle. Would Sirius forgive Remus for having a thing with
his brother? Probably not, but that might be exactly what it takes to get him healed.

”Emmeline Vance is interested in you.” James says quietly.

Sirius pulls a face as the tears continue falling, “and what’s that to do with me?”

”It might do you good dating someone else for a bit.” James explains, “Keep your mind
distracted.”

”It won’t work, Prongs.” Sirius groans, “I’m in too deep with Remus. Besides she is a she.”

”I thought you were bisexual?” James asks.

Sirius shrugs, “I’m Remus-sexual.”

”Fuck off.” James snorts, “That is not a thing.”

”Yeah it is because I have it. All I want to date and fuck is Remus Lupin.” Sirius states confidently
then thinks for a moment, “Maybe David Bowie too actually but that’s highly unlikely.”

”You’ve got more chance of dating Bowie than you do Remus these days.” Peter mumbles, making
Sirius laugh.

”Please just consider going on a date with her or someone.” James begs, wanting to somehow
lessen the blow when Sirius does find out.

Sirius groans in defeat then nods, “Fine.”

Remus enters the Great Hall at lunchtime, smiling to himself as he sits next to Lily Evans. Lily
glances at Remus’ neck, noticing fresh hickies and shakes her head disapprovingly.

”Your neck is a state.” She mutters with an arched brow.

Sirius looks up from where he’s sat, overhearing Lily’s comment. At least he knew for sure where
Remus had been, he inhales as he tries his best to ignore it and focus on his food but he can’t
stomach it. He feels sick at the idea of Remus with someone else especially after yesterday. Sirius
shoves his plate away, grimacing at the idea of eating. James pushes the plate back towards him
with a stern fatherly expression, having Daddy issues made it easy for Sirius to ignore it because he
didn’t recognise the concern.

Emmeline Vance and Marlene McKinnon take seats opposite Remus and Lily, both of them talking
about the upcoming Quidditch trials. Sirius watches the two friends for a moment, a plan
formulating his brain. He stands to his feet, James stopping him with a frown not wanting Sirius to
start something with Remus.

”You told me to date Emma didn’t you?” Sirius says rolling his eyes, “Can’t date her if I don’t ask
her.”

James let’s go sheepishly, watching with interest as Sirius plonks himself on the bench besides the
dark haired girl. She exchanges a quick excitable look with Marlene before turning her attention
fully to the beautiful Sirius Black. He side eyes Remus as he leans into Emmeline’s ear, whispering
quietly so no one around them can hear what he’s saying (except for Remus and his wolfy hearing
abilities). James watches as Remus turns away looking in the opposite direction to Sirius and
Emma, his nostrils flaring with jealously.

”Is it true you fancy me?” Sirius whispers, his breath tickling her ear and making her giggle.

Remus hears her heart race quicken as she nods her confession shyly. He grits his teeth together,
turning away from them. There’s no way Sirius didn’t know he was listening, he was doing it on
purpose.

“Next week is Hogsmede weekend..do you fancy going with me?” Sirius asks quietly, his voice
low and seductive.

”Yeah definitely.” Emma says out loud smiling.

Sirius smiles back, “It’s a date. I’ll meet you in the common room on Sunday morning.” He says
normally, making his way back over to James.

James claps Sirius on the back supportively, before leaning across the table to Lily, “Fancy making
it a double date, Evans?”

Lily rolls her eyes, turning her attention back to her conversation with Remus. James doesn’t miss
the way her cheeks turn pink or the small twitch of a smile that was making its way across her
face. Sirius smacks James around the back of his head and tuts in disapproval.

”If I have to take someone else on a date in order to move on, then so do you.” Sirius states in an
amused tone as he stands to his feet, “Oi! Meadowes!”

James watches horrified as Sirius Black jogs to catch up with Dorcas Meadowes from Hufflepuff.
He comes back a moment later, holding two thumbs up whilst wearing a stupid grin across his
face.

“You’re a bloody nuisance, Black.” James mumbles, resting his head on his hand grumpily.

Perhaps James understood what Sirius meant by Remus-sexual after all, the only person James had
ever shown any interest in was Lily Evans. It was like a fixation, there was no one else in the entire
school that compared to her. She was just the one.

Himself and Sirius decide to leave shortly after that and roam the grounds in their animagus forms
again. There was something freeing about being an animal, there was less stress and anxiety. No
responsibility or school or drama with ex boyfriends.
Its late afternoon when the two of them return, deciding to change for a round of flying before
dinner. They head straight for the common room, finding Remus and Peter on Pete’s bed playing
wizards chess. Remus was clearly pissed off as Peter was winning, everyone struggled to beat Pete
at chess. Remus had only ever managed it once in fourth year, the other two had never even tried.
Sirius found the game boring personally and James always lost interest if the game took too long to
complete.

Without thinking Sirius starts undressing, flinging his t-shirt across the room and dropping his
trousers onto the floor. Remus’ eyes widen at the muscles on Sirius’ back, his eyes unable to look
away as he bends down to pick up his Quidditch pants. James clears his throat, raising his eyebrow
at Remus as he starts shoving Sirius into the bathroom to change, making his friend trip and
stumble over his own feet.

”What the hell Prongs?” Sirius asks once they’re both in the bathroom, behind the locked door.

”Can’t be doing that anymore.” James informs, dumping the rest of Sirius’ Quidditch clothes into
his arms.

Sirius snorts, “Only showing him what he’s missing out on.”

Remus’ cheeks burn as he listens to their conversation, James was definitely pissed off with him. It
felt awful actually. Almost unsettling. He remembers how angry James had been toward Sirius, he
had actually feared for the idiot himself when James was on the warpath but now it was directed at
him. Remus was going to have to find a way to apologise to James and avoid Sirius for the rest of
his life.

It was all well and good saying it wasn’t meant to happen and vowing it won’t happen again but
when Sirius walks around like that- it’s painfully tempting. Remus isn’t sure whether it’s the
upcoming full moon or just the fact it’s Sirius, but he wants to fuck him and let all his anger and
frustration out. But worst of all he wants to hold him close, kiss his shoulders and sleep besides
him tangled in the blankets afterwards. The thought makes him feel quite ill, he could never be like
that with Sirius again. They were done. He would just have to avoid being alone around Sirius, at
least until the moon passed and the wolf instinct stops. It shouldn’t be too hard, it was almost here.

James and Sirius emerge from the bathroom in their Quidditch clothes, Remus didn’t care much for
Quidditch and wasn’t sure when they were playing again but seeing Sirius’ arse in the fear made
him struggle internally. That was always his personal favourite highlight of the game.

”You coming to watch Wormy?” James asks as he grabs his broomstick from under his bed.

Wormtail nods eagerly, knocking down the chess piece as he scrambles up. Then he looks towards
Remus, feeling guilty.

”I’ll stay and play chess if you like?” He offers kindly.

Remus shakes his head, “No it’s okay Pete, you go ahead. I’ll tidy this.”

As the three boys leave the dormitory, Remus starts collecting the chess pieces and tidying away.
Ordinarily he would have tagged along too with a book to read but spent the entire practice staring
at Sirius’ smile (or ass), watching as he did dangerous tricks that made Remus’ heart stop and
laughing happily with James as they raced around. That was just another thing about Sirius that
Remus would have to box up and pack away in his mind.

Once he’s finished cleaning the entire dorm room- not stopping at just tidying away the chess
game, he finds his way to the library. He can’t see Regulus on the marauders map so assumes he’s
in his common room or off the grounds- though that was very unlikely. It’s not until he’s reading
about centaur history and his eyes struggle to read the words that he realises how exhausted he
actually is. Exhaustion washes over him as he tries to stay awake to finish the paragraph he’s on,
but sleep wins and everything goes black.

”Psst. Remus? Remus? Will you bloody wake up?”

Regulus has never experienced such a heavy sleeper before. He’d genuinely believed Remus had
dropped dead in the library until he saw his back rising and falling very slightly. He continues to
shake the sleeping boy, the library was going to close soon and Madame Pince would be rounding
them out whether Remus was conscious or not.

When Reg had arrived and seen Remus alone at the desk, he went over and saw the pale slack face
of the older boy and panicked. He couldn’t find a pulse, he wasn’t moving at all- it was terrifying.
Regulus had seen dead bodies before a few times and there wasn’t much difference between them
and Remus. It wasn’t until he saw him moving the tiniest bit that he relaxed and sat besides the boy
to read his muggle book. He’d expected Remus to have a short nap but he slept the entire time.

”Remus!?” Regulus says again, poking the boy in the face.

Finally Remus stirs, looking about dazed with confusion. Reggie can’t help but smile at how cute
he looks in his lost state. Remus sits up, stretching and then looks down at his book, continuing to
read from where he left off. Reg starts laughing and shaking his head, getting Remus’ attention.

”The library is closing in less than five minutes.” Regulus informs him with a small smile.

Remus looks at Reggie even more confused, “I only rested my eyes for a minute..”

”I’ve been here for three hours and you slept the whole time.”

”Why didn’t you wake me? We could have spent time together.” Remus whispers, rubbing his eyes
to make himself wake up more.

Reg laughs, “I tried! At first I honestly thought you were dead, you’re a heavy sleeper you know
that?”

Remus huffs, “Not usually I’m not.”

”Must have really needed a sleep.” Reg says as he collects the books to return them to there rightful
places

”Yeah..” Remus shrugs, feeling no better than he had done earlier, “I might skip dinner and go to
bed actually.”

Reg frowns, “You need to eat.”

”I know my way to the kitchens I’ll get something later.” Remus smiles.

”Another secret passageway?” Reg asks his eyes bright.

”Something like that.” Remus yawns, “I’ll show you some time.”

“Go and get your beauty sleep then.” Reg snorts as the elder boys eyes start to flicker shut.

Remus stands up nodding, quickly ducking his head to kiss Reg on the cheek, “I’ll see you
 tomorrow?”

”Tomorrow.” Regulus confirms.

Regulus watches as Remus walks out of the library, he smiles to himself as he touches the spot
Remus had kissed him, feeling the swarm of butterflies in the pit of his stomach. He really fancied
Remus Lupin and it left him feeling giddy and excited. He bends down to collect his bag, noticing
Remus had left his stuff behind and sighs. He could always give it back tomorrow, but what if he
needed it?

Reggie knew that both James and Peter were aware of the situation, he could hand the bag to one of
them but what were the chances of Sirius being with them? Wouldn’t he ask too many questions as
to why Reg had the bag? Regulus shakes his head, talking himself out of overthinking and heads to
the Great Hall with both bags hung about his shoulders.

He sees James immediately, who as predicted is sat with Sirius of all people. Reg knew he was a
good liar and James wouldn’t let anything happen where Sirius found out either. It was fine. Remus
would probably want his homework to do later anyway, he was always studying Reggie had
noticed. He walks over, then holds the bag out awkwardly and clears his throat.

Sirius, James and Peter all look up towards him. Peter starts nervously eating his chicken dinner,
pulling it apart with his knife and fork and avoiding the unfolding scene with a panic. Sirius takes
one look at the bag, his face twisting in confusion as James reaches out and takes it.

”Why have you got Moony’s bag?” Sirius asks him, his face pale with worry, “Where is he?”

“We were both in the library and he was sleeping the whole time, I woke him when it was closing
time but he left his bag behind.” Reggie says truthfully, “I figured he might want it back.”

”Right thanks.” Sirius mutters, standing to his feet, “Did he say where he was going?”

“To sleep.” Reggie says, panic setting in as his brother goes to move.

James reaches out and pulls Sirius back in his seat, “Leave him, he’ll only be asleep.”

”Yeah..” Sirius says quietly.

Regulus can’t help but notice how much Sirius cares about his ex boyfriend. He knows the
breakup was bad- Remus had insinuated that much and insisted he would never forgive Sirius for
what he did, but Reg could tell just from looking at his brother that Sirius truly loved Remus like
no other. It made him feel horrible inside, his developing crush on Remus was nowhere near as
intense as Sirius’ obvious feelings for him.

James clears his throat, “Did you need something?” He asks irritably.

“Oh.. no sorry.” Reg says quickly as he walks away, hanging his head low with shame.

“Don’t speak to him like that.” Reg hears his brother tell James heatedly.

Reg sits besides his friends, his heart racing and his head pounding. He couldn’t do this. As much
as he liked Remus, he couldn’t do this to Sirius. He couldn’t betray his big brother like this.

Chapter End Notes

Remus blaming his wolf instincts on his feelings for Sirius lol ok babe

Remus showing Reggie the secret passageways

Reg noticing how much Sirius loves Remus

SIRIUS DEFENDING REG OK

Dw Reg thinks he can’t do this to Sirius but he really really likes Remus and let’s face
it all these boys are weak when it comes to who they like

We’re almost at the point where Sirius finds out btw *nervous laugh*
 Chapter 9
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

The bones crack in Remus back, he whines as the spine begins to bend and move. His friends
hadn’t arrived yet, they were usually here for this, Sirius was always first to come to him.
Something had to be wrong. None of them would leave him to transition alone, not unless
something bad had happened. He hears a sickening crunch as his back folds over, snapping and
adjusting to take on his new form and he howls loudly. Remus starts pacing around the shrieking
shack, looking for his pack, then he hears the creaking of the secret door and rushes to investigate.

He smells something new, a scent he does not recognise. He stands on his hind legs, sniffing the
air curiously. He hears another sound, his ears picking up as he sniffs again, he rounds the corner
- coming face to face with Severus Snape. Remus and Severus stare back at each other, Snape pale
with fear. Remus can sense the moment he starts losing himself, praying that Severus flees before
it’s too late.

Then he’s towering over James, blood dripping down James’ arm as poor James looks up at
Remus with fear filled eyes. Remus is thankful he’s back to himself, tearing himself away from
James as the smell of his blood invades his nostrils, he sees the moment Severus pulls James along
with him.

and then he’s in the tunnel, howling loudly as Padfoot growls at him. Padfoot escorts Moony back
to the shack, Remus struggling to stay as himself as the smell of blood makes him want to hunt.

Remus wakes up sweating and panting, shaking feverishly as he looks at the sun coming up. He
lays there for a moment, every slight movement hurting his entire body. He wishes he could
remember more about that night, but he doesn’t. That’s all he has to go off. The worst part was the
fear on James’ face as he cowered in fright. His friends had never treated him differently or made
him feel like a monster, but he was.

“Shit Moony.” Sirius gapes at the sight of him, he rests the back of his palm against his forehead,
“You’re burning up.”

Remus attempts to shrug Sirius off of him, but he feels far to weak to do anything. He swallows,
attempting to get some moisture in his mouth as Sirius disappears. Remus sits up, everything
spinning as he falls back down on the pillow. Sirius returns with a cool flannel setting on Remus
forehead. He picks up an empty glass, taking it the bathroom to clean.

”Aquamenti.” He says as he fills the cup with his wand, frowning at Remus as he tries to take it.

Sirius holds the cup by his mouth, tilting it gently as Remus sips, grateful for the liquid. Sirius
pulls a face as he stares at Remus’ pale and sweaty body.

”Get in my bed.” Sirius decides after a short minute.

Remus arches his brown unimpressed but slightly amused, “Excuse me?”

”Your covers are all sweaty.” Sirius explains, “My bed hasn’t been slept in for a week so it’s still
fresh.”

Remus shakes his head, grimacing as the pain shoots him in the temples, “I need to go to class.”
”You have a fever!” Sirius protests, folding his arms across his chest.

”Ugh.” Remus mutters angrily, “I haven’t any time to be sick! I have studying to do-“

”I’ll take notes for you.” Sirius offers.

Remus grumbles his appreciation, Sirius always did exquisite notes when they were for Remus. He
still had to see Regulus though, he couldn’t not turn up for two mornings in a row. Remus forces
himself to sit up, Sirius rushes to his side to help him stand but Remus brushes him off.

”Don’t fuss. You’re not my boyfriend or my nurse or anything.” Remus hisses crossly.

Sirius’ face twitches in amusement, “I still have that sexy nurses costume from Halloween, I could
be your nurs-“

”Sirius.” Remus warns as he remembers the sexy nurses costume and what they had gotten up to
that night. He erases the images from him mind, unable to look Sirius in the eye.

”Fine.” Sirius whispers as he backs down.

James comes into the bedroom, tossing his broom onto the bed and looks at Sirius unamused.
Sirius rolls his eyes, pointing at Remus as if he’s some sort of charity case. James’ face falls as he
looks at his friend and comes to his bedside. He too starts fussing, making Remus curse under his
breath.

”You need Pomfrey.” James decides.

Remus shakes his head, “No I need to see my b- … friend.”

He had been about to say boyfriend but of course Regulus wasn’t actually his boyfriend. They were
just getting to know each other and he enjoyed getting to know each other. Both Sirius and James
look annoyed then, obviously they both knew what he was going to say.

”What are you going to do? Owl him that you’re ill or?” James asks frowning, not wanting to give
away who exactly they were talking about.

”No I’m seeing him.” Remus replies, standing to his feet and swaying slightly as he grabs things
from his trunk.

”Don’t be stupid Remus!” Sirius snaps lividly, “You’re going to make yourself worse.”

”I didn’t meet up with him the other day because I was here with you.” Remus snaps back, “Then
when I did meet up with him I fell asleep! So yeah, I am going to be seeing him today.”

Remus goes to the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind him. Seconds later the boys
hear the shower running and look at each other, James sees the way Sirius is smirking to himself.
He has a horrible feeling, he just knows straightaway by the mischievous look in Sirius’ eyes that
he’s up to no good.

“What is it?” James hesitates to ask.

“He said when he met with his boyfriend yesterday he slept the whole time. He was sleeping in the
library and assuming that’s where he met his boyfriend…” Sirius breathes out, “Then Reggie
would have seen them together and he can tell us exactly what ugly git is dating Moony.”

James’ face drops, “That's a stupid idea! You’re going to piss him off even more by doing that.”
James reasons.

James just needed a little longer. He just needed Sirius to see potential in other people before the
big blow up.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Fine whatever let’s just go to breakfast. Moony obviously isn’t going to let us
help him.”

He slams out of the dorm room, James close behind him as Remus leaves the bathroom. He felt
close to death. He was used to feeling poorly around his time of month but this was intense. Either
way he had to make his way to the library, he had to see Reggie.

Regulus is frantically reading a book on muggle appliances, soaking in every tidbit of knowledge
he can. It absolutely fascinated him how smart muggles actually were. He had been raised to
believe they were stupid or less than, but where wizards had their wands and spells for almost
everything; muggles had learnt to adapt and invent the wildest of things in order to survive. It was
remarkable. There was these things called telephones, that were used to call each other so they
could speak almost immediately and Reg couldn’t help but think how much easier that was
compared to owls. Muggles were amazing.

He hears Remus apologising to someone before he rounds the corner to their spot. Reggie grimaces
at the sight of him, he looked as dead as an inferi. Remus looked pale, clammy and his eyes
appeared to have red rings around them from exhaustion or general ickiness. As Remus takes his
seat besides Reg, his breathing sharp and laboured, Reg backs away looking appalled.

“You should be in bed.” Reggie says, his eyes filled with concern, “Or in the hospital wing.”

Remus stubbornly shakes his head, “Hmm I feel better now I’m with you.”

“If I get sick because of you Lupin, I won’t hesitate to hex you.” Regulus warns, crossing his arms.

”You won’t catch this.” Remus says truthfully.

Reggie raises his eyebrows in disbelief, “You’re full of shit, you’re not kissing me today Remus.”

”It’s chronic.” Remus shrugs, thinking that’s the best way to explain lycanthropy, “My entire body
aches and because I’ve not slept well recently I’m just feeling it more is all.”

”Oh.. I didn’t know you were chronically ill.”

”Well it’s more of a disease I guess.” Remus frowns, struggling with how best to describe it.

Reg nods understandingly, he knows about chronic Illnesses and diseases, he had spent a long time
wanting to work with potions to find cures for such things. He reckons he would be quite a good
healer but his future had already been picked out for him. He would get no say in his career or life
wishes, he had even been promised to a woman for fucks sake.

”In that case.”Regulus smiles, leaning forward and planting a small kiss on Remus lips.

Remus looks delighted, surging forward and placing his hand at the bottom of Regulus’ neck as he
pulled him closer. The two of them kissed, not paying attention to the room around them. Remus’
aches and pains seemed to evaporate as he focused on the beautiful boy in front of him. Regulus
places his hand on Remus’ chest, stopping the boy for a moment, their foreheads resting together
as they pant breathlessly.
”Come with me.” Reggie instructs, holding out his hand.

Remus takes it, stumbling a little as the dizziness sets in. Regulus leads Remus to the hidden
bookcases, the same restricted area that they’d been caught kissing by James. Reggie pulls Remus
into him, once they are there, finding more confidence now they’re hidden from view. Madame
Pince hated students kissing in her library, but the chances of them being caught by her here were
slim.

”Merlin Reggie.” Remus mumbles as Reg kisses along Remus’ jaw.

”I want everyone to know you’re taken.” Regulus states, remembering how his older brother had
acted yesterday.

He brings himself to Remus’ neck, replacing the fading hickies with dark fresh marks, humming to
himself as Remus gasps and moans at the feeling. Reggie’s free hand lowers itself, rubbing the
growing tent in Remus trousers and feels a jolt of arousal soar through him as he remembers how
big Remus’ cock is. Remus can smell Regulus’ arousal, which turns him on even more as his hips
start twitching towards Regulus’ hand.

Reggie smiles innocently before dropping to his knees. Remus bites his lip as Reg pulls his
trousers down, his eyes widen as he looks around. No one can see them. All Remus can see is his
and Regulus’ bags on the table. He looks down at Reggie, his hand running through the younger
boys hair.

Regulus looks up at Remus with smouldering eyes, he went straight for Remus’ dick, swallowing
as much as he could before choking on his size. He licks and sucks, hollowing his cheeks to create
as much friction as possible. As his head bobbed up and down, Remus gripped his hair as tightly as
possible to keep himself standing. Reggie did swirled his tongue along a vein and Remus’ eyes
rolled back with pleasure, it was fucking delightful.

Sirius walks into the library, determination set in his stride as he rounds the corner. He sees
Remus’ bag abandoned, his face twisting with confusion at the sight of his little brothers bag
besides it. He looks around aimlessly, trying to find them. It didn’t surprise him that Remus had
been roped into helping Regulus with something. As he approaches the bookcases at the back, he
hears panting and soft moans. He recognises them as Remus’ straightaway and practically flies
around the corner to catch him in the act. His heart is racing in his chest but suddenly drops, his
eyes widen and everything stops moving.

”MY FUCKING BROTHER!?” Sirius manages to scream, his heart smashing in the pit of his
stomach.

He watches, his eyes burning with tears as Reggie stands up with fearful eyes. He sees Remus
swiftly pulling his pants up and hiding his dick and balls away. James comes rushing around the
corner, crashing straight into the back of him. Before anyone has time to register a thing, Sirius
lunges forward punching Remus in the face. Remus stumbles backwards holding his nose as Sirius
swings for him again. James tries to grab Sirius from behind but he lifts swings his arm back,
catching James with the motion. He’s about to get a third hit in but Remus shoves him violently,
using his wolfy strength to his advantage despite his sickness.

”MY FUCKING BROTHER!” Sirius yells launching forwards again and hitting Remus in the
chest repeatedly with his fist. Slowly the hits get weaker as the tears stream down his face, he
looks up at Remus absolutely broken and whispers, “He’s my b-brother.

James pulls Sirius away as a small crowd gathers, Madame Pince is ordering them all to leave. Her
voice ringing with anger that a fight had taken place in her library of all places. In the corridors,
Sirius manages to break off from James running off and darting through the crowds of students
heading to class. James tries to keep up, loosing sight of his best friend in the hustle of people.
Sirius keeps running until he’s outside, he runs and runs and runs transforming into Padfoot and
keeps running through the forbidden forest.

”Shit.” Remus breathes out, running his hand through his curls, “Shit.”

Regulus continues to stare at the place his brother had spotted them, his own heart burning like a
witch at the stake. He saw the look in Sirius’ eyes.. he saw the look in Remus’ eyes too. It was
clear that Remus had definitely changed his mind about revenge, it was obvious that whatever was
going on with them was no longer a revenge ploy.. or at least that what he hoped. He couldn’t help
but selfishly pray that he hadn’t just lost his brother for no reason.

”I-I’m going to go.” Reggie finally whispers, his voice cracking in his throat.

”Wait Reggie!” Remus says pulling him back, “We okay? We’re going to be fine right? Like we’re
not- I don’t know? I don’t want to lose you too.”

Reggie stiffens at Remus’ choice in words but nods anyway, “No yeah Remus we’re good. Well..
we will figure it all out.”

”Together?” Remus asks, his eyes wide with hope.

Reg nods, “Yeah.. Sirius will get over it eventually.”

Remus smiles, nodding in agreement. Then he watched as Reggie collects his stuff and leaves the
library. Once he’s out of sight, Remus leans back against the bookcase, his nose still throbbing
from the first hit and he bursts into tears. He had never meant for Sirius to find out like this. He
wasn’t even sure he ever wanted Sirius to know.

Despite the original plan, Remus did not like this one bit. He had wanted to hurt Sirius but he
didn’t think about himself. When Sirius betrayed him, he didn’t think Sirius could possibly feel
remorseful. Remus now knew for sure that one:getting with Regulus was the worst way to betray
Sirius. Two: Sirius truly was sorry for everything he did. And three, neither man was ever going to
be capable of forgiving the other- no matter how sorry they were.

“Anything?” James asks anxiously as Peter returns to their dorm room.

Peter transforms from rat back into a person, he looks at James and shakes his head. There was no
sign of Sirius anywhere, the boys had taken turns looking for him- ensuring someone was always
in the dorm room just incase. He had been gone all day, it was now 10pm and an absolutely
murderous thunderstorm had hit. James is just about to slip on his cloak of invisibility, when
Remus finally returns.

James drops the cloak and then swings for Remus who ducks effortlessly. Peter scrambles between
the two men, both of them standing with their fists curled ready to launch at the other.

“Can we just focus on finding Padfoot please?” Peter begs, wanting his friend back safely.

Remus’ fists unfold as he looks over James’ shoulder, “He’s not here?”

”Why would he be?” James hisses angrily, collecting the cloak off the floor.

Remus unclasps his bag, rummaging for a moment before handing James the blank map. He
 knows the two boys won’t want his help or want him to be the one to find Sirius right now but he
can help in this one small way.

”I solemnly swear I am up to no good.” James says, watching as the map spreads out and comes to
life. He checks every inch of the map, searching for Sirius’ name, “I can’t see him.”

Peter looks over James’ shoulder, trying to find their missing friends name but shrugs hopelessly.
Remus snatches the map from James’ grasp, he checks every inch of their map thoroughly and
checks twice then three times.

”He must have gone of the grounds.” Remus says, handing the map back to James.

Peter transforms into a rat, James bends down to pick him up and carry him in his pocket. He gives
Remus one last disappointed look as he puts the cloak on.

”If I don’t find him. If something has happened to him, Remus. I will never forgive you.”

Remus watches as the door opens and then shuts, seemingly by itself. Remus starts pacing, wanting
to do something to help. He heads to Sirius’ bed, he opens his trunk and sees that it’s still full- a
sure sign that he’s coming back. He sits on the edge of Sirius’ bed, closing his eyes and praying to
a many manner of gods and higher beings for Sirius’ safe return. Then he yanks the bedside table
drawer open, his eyes landing on the note from their not anniversary. Remus holds it for a moment,
contemplating re-reading it but knowing what it would mean that he had.

He reaches forward to place the note back, then he sees the other things inside. He holds his breath
as he starts taking items out. Stupid notes between them that they had passed during classes over
the years, a mixture of sweet loved up moving Polaroids and others of a filthier nature, a wilted
flower crown that Remus had made in the forest one time and lastly, a small black box.

Gulping harshly, Remus reaches for it. Before he even opens it, he feels the tears starting to form
again. He takes a shaky breath as he opens it up, sitting on a white cushion in the most beautiful
ring Remus thinks he’s ever seen. It’s clear that Sirius had taken a lot of time and put a lot of
thought into the design, because it’s them.

On the twisted silver band, lays a half-moon shaped aquamarine gemstone and besides it is a star
shaped citrine gemstone. The moon and his star, their birthstones and them.

Teardrops fall onto the ring, making it glisten in the dormitory candlelight’s. Remus hastily closes
the box and shoves it back into the drawer.

”What have I done?”

Chapter End Notes

Okaaaay so im not 100% happy with this chapter but I wanted to get Sirius finding out
over with so we can move on with the next part of the story I will probably go back
and edit this chapter in the future as it feels rushed so sorry if you’re disappointed and
everything like that.

Ps I love the ring idea and the birthstones are significant to the storyline
 Chapter 10
Chapter Notes

TRIGGER WARNING
-descriptions of self harm (aftermath not when it happens)

Prongs sniffs the air, he can smell rain and wet grass mainly but there’s something else. Another
animal. It isn’t Padfoot. After being animagus for several years, they had all become accustomed to
the smells of the forest- this was a newbie. Whatever it was smelt stale and rotten. It made Prongs
feel ill so he ran in the opposite direction, desperately trying to find his friend. Wormtail sat upon
Prongs’ antlers, looking around nervously. He could smell the new being too, it was human(ish)
but it wasn’t Sirius.

Padfoot cowers in a hallow tree trunk, his eyes keeping watch on the scruffy man in front of him.
He looked homeless and Sirius found himself feeling sorry for him, he knew all too well how it
was to have no place to go. Padfoot stayed out of sight, he could sense the danger and he could
smell the werewolf on him. He must have come here for the full moon, Sirius realises as the man
walks in the opposite direction.

Once he deems it safe enough, he shakily gets out of the trunk. His front legs covered in blood, he
transforms back into himself, holding the worst of his cuts as he continues his journey through the
forbidden forest. He knows humans are frowned upon here by the magical beings, but he would
just turn back into Padfoot if needed. He felt too weak to continue on as the black dog right now.

He walks forwards toward the castle for awhile. He’s never travelled this deep into the forest
before, even with the others. He hears a clatter of hooves behind him, he turns sharply coming face
to face with centaurs. His vision starts blurring from the fast movements.

”What is your business here boy?!” One of them demands angrily.

Sirius stares up at the half human half horse beings and as he starts to speak, everything fades to
black. The centaur steps forward, paling at the sight of blood.

”He’s injured.”

”Dumbledore knows they’re not allowed in our land! Why is he even here?”

“He’s a curious boy! Teenagers don’t listen.” Another responds in a low gruff voice.

”Someone should alert Albus Dumbledore.”

Another steps closer, “I shall Firenze.”

All the centaurs stop talking as they see a stag approach cautiously, they watch in awe as the stag
turns into a boy and rushes to the injured ones side.

”How did you do that boy?”Firenze asks bewildered at the magic.

”We’re animagus sir.” James whispers,looking down at his friend.

”Friends of the forest.” Firenze says smiling calmly, “Let’s return you to the castle Hmm?”

He holds a magical staff in his hand, taps it on the ground twice and in the blink of an eye, James is
at the entrance of Hogwarts with Peter squeaking in alarm in his pocket and Sirius laid on the floor
before him.James attempts to lift his friend up, getting his blood on his white shirt and sobs at the
feeling of it. He tries to drag Sirius’ body across to the doors, they fly open and James drops Sirius
gently to the ground as Madame Pomfrey, Professor McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore walk out
in their night things.

Madame Pomfrey uses a lifting spell guiding Sirius to the hospital wing. James turns to follow but
is stopped by his head of house and the old headmaster. Peter shivers in James’ pocket, knowing to
keep quiet as no one is to know their secret.

”Mr Potter, I think it best you go back to your dormitory for tonight. You can visit Mr Sirius
tomorrow.” Professor McGonagall says sternly.

She never referred to Sirius with his surname as she had seen how much pain that family had
caused the young boy. She never wanted to remind him of that.

”But Prof-“

”Now James.” She instructs clearly, “Sirius will be quite alright with Madame Pomfrey.”

”Yes.” Dumbledore nods, his eyes glistening like stars in the night sky, “You will have to come to
my office after breakfast in the morning and let me know what happened of course but it is two in
the am. I think all of us will benefit from a rest.”

James and Peter return to their dormitory to find Remus taking long strides along the bedroom,
chewing at his lips anxiously. He freezes as he sees James and Peter, his face falling as they’re
without Sirius. He sees the dark red blood smeared across James’ white shirt, he feels queasy and
hot, wondering what had happened. Before he can ask any questions, James rushes forward and
pushes him in the chest. Remus doesn’t stumble or flinch, he just lets James do what he needs to
do, taking every hit without faulting.

”Where is he?” Remus asks quietly once James walks away and kicks his trunk instead.

”Hospital wing.” Peter responds, receiving a glare from James.

Remus feel his chest tighten as he walks away from the other two, he sits on the window ledge and
stares out towards the forest. He knew he wouldn’t get any answers from James and Peter wasn’t
going to answer more with James around. But he knew already. He could see it in James’ eyes, that
everything James had done to keep Sirius safe and all the progress Sirius had made had been
erased. Sirius had chosen to cope in the best way he knew how to.

Everyone lays in their beds but none of them sleep. Remus holds one of the Polaroids from Sirius’
drawer all night, he keeps staring at Sirius’ smiling face as Remus kisses his temple. It felt like a
lifetime ago. They had taken this one over Halloween, Remus is dressed as David Bowie and
Sirius’ is dressed as a sexy vampire nurse. Sirius had taken hours getting Remus’ face paint right
and they had playfully squabbled when Remus smudged it.They were so happy. They were so
complete.

James is the first one up which is a rare occurrence, he doesn’t say a word to the other two boys as
he rushes to get ready. Remus wants to go with him, he needs to see that Sirius is okay but he
knows he isn’t wanted so he stays where he is, holding the photo close to his chest.
“Please be okay.” He whispers pleadingly.

The only thing that could ever hurt more than Sirius betraying Remus the way he did, was
something irreversible happening to him. Even though he was still angry towards Sirius, he would
never be able to survive if he were gone.

Sirius stares blankly at the dirty ceiling above him, the pain killers had left him feeling numb but
he was alive. He wasn’t sure whether or not he should be grateful for that or not. Part of him
wishes he would have just died, so he didn’t have to think about what he saw. A bright light shines
through the hospital wing as the door opens and someone shuffles inside. Sirius doesn’t move, he
just keeps staring at the ceiling, wondering when the last time someone had given it a good clean
was.

”Sirius?”

Sirius’ head snaps towards the unexpected visitor, Regulus timidly steps back as his brother glares
at him coldly. He swallows as he looks at his older brothers bandaged arms, the blood soaking
through.

“Go away.” Sirius whispers hoarsely, his voice tight as his eyes start tearing up, “I have nothing to
say to you.”

Reggie nods sadly, “I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”

Sirius looks away, his little brothers voice cracking and making him feel guilty. Why should he
feel guilty? Just because Regulus was turning on the water works? He was fed up of protecting his
brother from harm, when all Reg ever did was cause Sirius pain. He was sick of standing before
the fire, protecting Reggie from the flames whilst he got burnt.

“I swear I didn’t know..” Reg says, Sirius’ heart drops at the idea of Moony orchestrating this
entire thing but then Reg takes a deep breath, “Not at first I didn’t..but-“

“You kept it going once you knew.” Sirius finishes, looking away again his hands gripping the
sheets so he won’t swing for his brother.

Sirius didn’t know which hurt more, Remus conspiring this set up to cause him pain, or his little
brother being okay with it and carrying on once he knew the truth. He couldn’t trust anyone he
loved, his ex boyfriend and his brother- two people he loved more than anyone else. The only one
left was James. The only one who never betrayed him was James.

”It wasn’t like that!” Reg pleads, “I just- he makes me so happy, Sirius.”

Sirius tenses, closing his eyes, “Did you come here for my blessing then? Because I won’t give it to
you.”

”Sirius-“

”Just fuck off Reggie.” Sirius snaps, “You’re dead to me.”

Regulus steps backwards, watching as Sirius’ chest rises and falls fiercely. The words hit Reg like
a tonne of bricks, hitting him right where it hurts. His parents had said that about Sirius but Reggie
had always held on, refused to cut ties completely. He always hoped that one day, when he was old
enough to leave he could find solace with his brother. Reg knew Sirius would take it badly which
is why he and Remus were getting to know each other secretly, he had every intention on telling
Sirius himself if it went anywhere and by the time that happened Sirius would have moved on!
Sirius wasn’t supposed to be hurting from them.

But Sirius was his brother, and if he had to choose then he would always choose Sirius, but Sirius
had never chosen him. He had left Regulus behind and fled to James Potters house. He didn’t take
Reggie with him. He barely acknowledges Regulus’ existence around school and before he had
chance to explain or beg for his brothers forgiveness, Sirius had severed all ties.

Regulus storms out of the hospital wing, crashing straight into James Potter. James stares down at
the Black heir, his face turned up in disgust but he manages to put his personal feeling aside and his
face goes blank.

”He awake then?” James asks, his voice coming out harsher than intended.

Regulus looks up through his wet lashes and nods before scurrying away back down to the
dungeons. James pushes the door back open, he sees his best friend staring at the ceiling and as he
gets closer he sees the tears falling down his face. He notices the bloody weepy bandages, his
stomach flips at the state of them- he assumed Pomfrey would fix him in the night not just leave it!

”Hey.” He says stupidly, Sirius looks at him and huffs out a small laugh.

”Hi.” Sirius smiles, then instinctively hides his arms under the covers.

James sits in the empty seat besides his bed, “How come they’re not healed?”

”I used..”Sirius swallows harshly, “They’re magical wounds.. they take longer.”

James nods, his voice breaking as he chokes up, “Oh..right.”

“I’m sorry.” Sirius mumbles, seeing how devastated James is, “I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

James shakes his head, climbing onto the bed next to Sirius. Sirius uses all his strength to budge
up, making enough room for James to get comfortable besides him. James wraps his arms around
Sirius, resting their heads together and sighs.

”I’m not disappointed in you.” James clarifies sternly, “I could never be disappointed in you.
You’re my best friend. You’re my brother, Sirius. I can’t live without you.. the idea alone is
terrifying.. without you I’m nothing.”

Sirius chuckles lightly, “I lost one brother but I gained a better one.” He presses his lips together,
“You and Moony never-“

”No! Merlin Sirius. Not all of us are into men you know?” James points out, rolling his eyes,
“Enough about Remus. You’re on a Remus ban. You’re not allowed to talk about him or think
about him. You’re going to move on and you’re going to be happy. Starting with our double date
on Sunday.”

”I’m so broken without him James.” Sirius whimpers, “He’s everything to me.”

”Then that’s part of the problem.” James whispers gently, “You can’t rely on another person to be
your sole reason to live and to be happy.”

”But he is.” Sirius says closing his eyes as the pain starts returning, “He saved me.”

James sighs and brushes a loose strand of Sirius’ hair back, “Then this time you save yourself.”

Remus knew he would be spending the full moon alone, he had angered all his friends too much
and he accepted that fact as he sat alone in the shack. He wrapped a torn blanket around his
shoulders, shivering from the cold. He missed snuggling with Sirius whilst they waited for the
other two to arrive. Everything was such a mess and if he could take it back, then he would. He’d
take it all back in a heartbeat..but then he wouldn’t have Reg.

He didn’t love Regulus, but he enjoyed the time he had spent with him. He loved seeing the
Slytherin open up more and more, he enjoyed learning new things about him and getting to know
him was easy and straightforward. There was no tiptoeing around sensitive topics of sexuality,
whilst he figured it out because Reg already knew who he was. Regulus was mature, he enjoyed
many of the same things Remus did and it was easy going. There was no angst or screaming at
each other, no fighting that turned into hot making out. It was just chilled and Remus liked the
contrast. He trusted Reg, perhaps more than he ever trusted Sirius.

Sirius was erratic, immature and loud. He acted impulsively- which was exactly what had caused
him to betray the supposed love of his life in the first place. He could never stay still, some part of
his body was always twitching or he was constantly fidgeting and it irritated Remus to no end. But
he felt the loss heavily, it was obvious that he was gone from Remus’ side. Remus struggled to
sleep when Sirius was by his side, but now he struggled to sleep even more without him. It was as
if he couldn’t win. Sirius or no Sirius, Remus was bound to be heartbroken. As much as he hated
Sirius, as much as he knew he would never forgive him- he would always love him.

James sits in the chair besides Sirius’ hospital bed with his knees propped up as a makeshift table
for his essay. Peter is sat in the chair next to him, falling asleep sat up as they wait for Sirius to
awaken. They had classes all day, rammed their food down their throats at dinner just so they could
be here with him- but he was sleeping. Bored out of his mind, James had started his potions essay
despite his routine of scrawling it last minute- sometimes even on the way to his class.

Peter looks up out of the window and sees the full moon rising. He feels a pang of guilt having left
Remus to handle Moony alone for the first time since third year. He always had at least one of his
friends there since they became animagus for him- but this time was different. James was truly
furious that Sirius had walked in and seen them having their fun like that. It was possibly the worst
way in existence, seeing his brother on his knees for the man he loved. There was probably no
getting over that.

James sees the moon shining brightly in the sky from the corners of his eyes but doesn’t
acknowledge it further. Part of him wanted to rush down to the shack, he knew it was the right
thing to do but he had to ensure Sirius was okay first. Sirius would always be his top priority
because they were family. James senses Peter’s nervousness and glances at him, he sees the way
Pete is watching the moon.

”You can go to him.” James nods, “I know you can’t tame him but it’ll be a comfort knowing he’s
not alone to all of us.” He looks at Sirius pointedly.

Peter nods eagerly, breaking into a small run and transforming into Wormtail as he scurries out of
the hospital wing as fast as his little legs will allow him. Sirius stirs at that moment, whispering
madly to himself. James reaches forward to soothe him, hearing the words leaving his lips.

”Remus.”

James falls back in his seat, waiting for his friend to come around fully but when he does, he sits
bolt straight his eyes manic as he looks at James. His chest hammering violently as he tries to fling
the covers off his legs.

”What?What is it?” James steadies Sirius with both his hands, “SIRIUS! Snap out of it!”
”Moony! We need to go to the shack!”

”No no Sirius.” James protests, making Sirius sit as his eyes dart widely, “You’re in the hospital
wing.”

”But Remus! Why are you here? You should be with Moony!”

James looks down guiltily, “I didn’t want to leave you on your own.”

”Why not? Remus needs you right now!”

”Because!” James voice cracks, “Look at you! How can I possibly leave you like this?”

Sirius groans in annoyance, rolling his pyjama sleeves down to hide his still bandaged arms, “I
need you to make sure he’s okay, James. I need you there with him because I can’t be.”

”Padfoot-“

”Please James.” Sirius begs, his eyes filled with tears, “Just take care of my moon for me, please.”

James swallow harshly, ready to tell Sirius no but then caves at the sight of Sirius breaking and
nods, “Okay, but you stay here and you stay safe..yeah?”

”Yeah.” Sirius agrees, “Just.. let me know how it goes.”

Once left alone again, Sirius slowly removes his bandages and looks at the marks left behind.
Madame Pomfrey had worked a miracle with her salve and it was starting to scab over and heal.
Sirius knew the salve well, having used it on Remus a few times so he was more than aware that
his arms would never look the same. They would always have a silvery glint to them where the
cuts had been. He didn’t mind though. The scars meant he had survived one of the worst days of
his life. They meant he had survive his worst ever relapsed and if he could survive that then he
could survive anything. He was more determined now than ever before to get better and he wanted
to get better for himself.

James transformed into Prongs once he was in the tunnel, the moon had already risen and the wolf
would already be awake. It was a struggle getting through the trap door with his antlers but after an
embarrassing struggle he was able to get his head through and somehow manoeuvre his hooves to
hoist himself up. He used his hind legs to shut the door again, coming face to face with Moony.
James could tell immediately that something was wrong.

Moony was pacing back and fourth, highly irritated as he sniffed the air. Wormtail was hiding in a
hole in the wall, his rat nose pointing out and whiskers fluttering as he shook with fear. Moony
started scratching at the floorboards with his claws, making his toes bleed as he did. Prongs
realised in a moment what the issue was. Although Remus didn’t want Sirius around, Moony
wanted Padfoot. Somehow Sirius had become their packs alpha, he had managed to overpower the
wolf in third year. Padfoot was in charge of their pack and without their pack leader.. Remus was
fully lost to the wolf within. He wouldn’t hurt the others, he recognised them as members of their
pack but they couldn’t communicate like the two canines could. There was no way of Peter or
James bringing Remus through.

Prongs bowed his head, ready to restrain the wolf with his antlers when a loud howl echoed
through the night. Moony stood to his hind legs, sniffing wide eyed at the foreign sound. Wormtail
scurries out of his hiding place, running up the stags legs to his safe spot between Prongs’ antlers.
James freezes as Moony lets out a low whine, it drags out gradually getting louder and louder as he
howls at the top of his voice.
Prongs looks out of the window towards the forest as Moony does. At first there’s nothing but
darkness and the outline of tall trees under the moon, but then they notice the yellow pair of
glowing eyes. Moony howls again, the eyes disappearing from sight and Moony frantically starts
scratching at the door of the shack.

James had never been more thankful for the magical wards in place to keep them inside and those
who were unwelcome out. He stares at the trapdoor, his heart racing as he wonders how many
people knew of the secret way in.. had Snape told someone? Who was the other wolf? Why had
they made themselves known? Was Remus in danger? Prongs wished more than ever that Padfoot
was here too.

He bows his head, pinning Moony to the wall with his antlers before tossing him across the room.
The wolf growls angrily, baring his sharp yellow teeth towards Prongs. James doesn’t want to hurt
Remus, he’s just trying to protect him. Moony starts trying to go for the door again, clawing at it
and savagely ripping his claw as he does. James realises he’s in for another long night just like the
previous moon as he once again throws the heavy beast across the room. This time Moony
whimpers, having landed on a table and crushing the wooden legs under his weight.

Whoever was out there had got Moony’s attention, and Moony was determined to follow.
 Chapter 11
Chapter Notes

TRIGGER WARNINGS
-brief mention of self harm scars
- mentions of child abuse
- accusations/assumptions of domestic abuse

(Let me know if I missed any but I think I covered it!)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Sirius wakes up the next day to his friends at his bedside, he sits up immediately and notices over
James and Peters heads, the sleeping figure of Remus Lupin in the bed besides his own. Both
James and Peter look like shit to be quite honest, Sirius has no doubt that it had been another bad
moon. He stretches his arms and cracks his back to awaken himself properly, then removes the
dirty bandages. He sees the silvery scars and smiles to himself, glad to be rid of the blood at last-
just in time for his date the next day. No one would ask questions about seemingly old scars if they
saw them.

He climbs out of the bed, his bare feet hitting the cold floor and peers cautiously at the sleeping
boy. He cringes at the new weeping scar across Remus’ face, then starts prodding James awake.
Since they had become animagus and became Moony’s pack, the injuries had become less severe
until now.

James blinks sleepily at Sirius, “Oh hey you’re awake.”

”What happened to his face?”

James sits up straighter with alarm, “Shit okay so it was all Moony like last time, no Remus.. but he
was restless and..there was another werewolf.”

”Another werewolf?”

”Yes!” James says frustratedly, “He was desperate to reach him. It was like.. they were connected
somehow.”

“Shit! I saw another werewolf the other night in the forest!”

”Why didn’t you say anything?” James hisses.

Sirius points around him absently, “Bit preoccupied mate.”

James winces at the reminder, “Sorry..”

”Did you get a good look at him?”

”We didn’t leave the shack!” James replies as if it’s obvious, “I just sensed the danger.. whoever
that other werewolf is.. I don’t think he’s there to be friends.”
“Fuck.” Sirius runs a hand through his hair, “I have to be there next month. I don’t care what
Remus says.”

James nods, “I agree. I can’t tame him like you can, Pads.”

Both boys share a silent look, a silent agreement and make a silent plan. One way or another,
Padfoot would be making an appearance next month. At that moment Remus makes a pained noise
as he attempts to move, Sirius rushes to his bedside and starts fussing. He checks Remus over for
additional injuries, it takes Remus a minute to fully come around and when he does he physically
shoves Sirius, to stop him from lifting his shirt.

Sirius stumbles backwards looking hurt, then his face falls as he realises what he did wrong.
Remus isn’t his anymore. He nods stiffly as he makes his way back to his own bed, leaving Remus
to check himself over. Sirius couldn’t stay mad at the werewolf when he was hurt. He just wanted
to wrap the boy up and hold him over the next few days whilst he healed but then images of his
brother clouded his mind. Flashes of Reg on his knees in the library for his Moony, Sirius starts
gagging violently causing Remus to look up in concern.

James is rubbing his back in a second, a bowl held up in front of his mouth. Sirius shakes his head
looking awfully pale.

”Sorry I just remembered.” Sirius says shuddering, “Those images are going to haunt me for the
rest of my fucking life.”

Remus turns bright red realising what Sirius is talking about and shuffles awkwardly in his bed. He
grits his teeth through the pain, trying his hardest not to keel over. Sirius side eyes him as he moves
letting out a small wail as agony shoots down his legs. Sirius closes his eyes, fighting the urge to
see to Remus himself again.

The silence is deafening after that, only the sound of Peter snoring can be heard and James sits in
the tension as both Remus and Sirius refuse to speak with the other around. Sirius is gradually
getting more and more angry. The longer he’s sat there in the silence the more he thinks about
Remus Lupin and his little brother together and it makes him want to scream the castle down.He
looks across at Remus, a dreadful thought washing over him.

“You we’re screwing around with us at the same time weren’t you?”

Remus looks up, his face giving Sirius all the answers he needs and he scoffs in disgust. A flicker
of anxiety igniting in his chest. James starts anxiously tapping his foot, wanting to separate the two
of them as soon as possible before a fight breaks out and he prays Madame Pomfrey comes along
to discharge Sirius soon. Luckily, the two boys turn back away from each other. Remus stares at
the empty bed across from him on the other side of the room, whilst Sirius keeps his eyes trained
on the ceiling- figuring out the logistics of cleaning someplace that high up (reaching the
conclusion that they could use broomsticks).

He suddenly turns to Remus again, “Have you been fucking my brother?!”

James groans with mixture of fear, disgust and irritation, but before they can get an answer,
Madame Pomfrey walks in, clapping her hands so the room brightly lights up. Remus doesn’t dare
to look at Sirius, he can feel Sirius’ grey eyes burning into him and he’s sure he’d be dead if looks
could kill.

Madame Pomfrey thankfully checks over Sirius first, discharging him and sending him and his
friends on their way. It took several minutes for James to wake Peter, who dragged his feet behind
James who had run after Sirius after her stormed out. As far as Dumbledore was aware only
himself, Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall knew about Remus’ furry little problem.

“I have your salve.” She says softly, handing the small pot of jelly like substance, “I already
applied some when you arrived back this morning.”

Remus nods gratefully, “Thank you, Ma’am.”

Madame Pomfrey sighs, “I wish there was more I could do for you, Remus dear.”

”You do plenty enough Madame, thank you for everything, truly.” He smiles, wincing slightly as
he starts applying the salve to his wounds.

Sirius slams his way through the common room, making Lily raise her eyebrows in alarm. As head
girl she should give him a detention but judging from the tears in his eyes and the way James
Potter runs after him- it wasn’t worth it. Sirius was always the mischievous boy with all the funny
jokes, it was often this that got him in trouble but sometimes it was this. It hadn’t happened in
awhile, which makes Lily feel incredibly sad. She could never understand how parents could treat
their son like they had done to him.

Peter sits on the sofa across from her, leaning sleepily on his hand. Lily doesn’t want to pry or be
nosey but she has a soft spot for the four cheeky boys of Hogwarts, most people did. Although she
would never dare tell James Potter that of course.

”Is Sirius okay?” Lily asks quietly.

Peter sits up and draws out a long sigh, “Everything has gone to shit Lily.”

Lily notices how exhausted Peter looks then, the bags under his eyes and the quiver in his lip as he
tries not to cry. Lily moves to sit besides him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

”Oh Pete! Don’t cry! What happened?” Her eyebrows furrowed with deep concern.

”Remus happened.” Pete shrugs sadly, “I- I’m not really allowed to say details but the marauders
are falling apart now.”

Lily presses her lips together, checking around her for any potential listeners and says in a low
voice, “You mean Remus and Sirius breaking up?”

“You know about that?” Peter asks with wide eyes, Lily nods softly, “Well yeah! Them breaking
up is awkward because they hate each other.”

”Bad break up?”

Peter nods, “You have no idea.. but then they started to talk again sometimes and they were
starting to get on a little.. I thought maybe they would be friends and we could go back to normal
but…”Peter shakes his head, looking down at the palms of his hands sadly.

”What happened?”

”Remus is dating Sirius’ brother.”

Lily’s heart skips a beat, she couldn’t have possibly heard that right, “Huh?”

”Remus is dating Regulus.” Peter murmurs.

Lily almost falls off the sofa in shock, Remus Lupin would never do that. He wasn’t the type of
person to ever come between siblings especially not in the way Pete was saying. Remus was
hopelessly and madly in love with Sirius. She had seen it with her own two eyes. She had heard the
way Remus had gushed about him over the years, without ever realising how it sounded. There
wasn’t a chance in hell this was right.

”But that’s-“

”Impossible? I thought so too, but it was James who caught them first.. then Sirius did a few days
ago and..it’s been..really bad.” Peter says, “I feel like I’m losing all my friends, it’s never going to
be the same after this.”

Lily sits back on the sofa in disbelief, she just couldn’t see Remus pulling a stunt like this. James
comes down the stairs a few minutes later looking defeated as he collapses into the armchair. Lily
had never seen James look so down in the dumps. He was always overjoyed and disgustingly
happy like the sun shone out of his arse.

”He wants to be left alone.” He informs Pete with a small shrug of his shoulders.

”Is it true?” Lily whispers, “About Remus and Regulus?”

James sits up, knocking his glasses askew, “Where have you heard that?!” He asks as he
straightens his frames again.

Peters shoulders sink low, James shoots him a look and groans in annoyance.

”In my defence she already knew about Sirius and Remus breaking up!”

”You knew they were dating!?” James quizzes, he thought it was a hidden secret within their little
group.

“I had an idea.. but I’m not the only one. You don’t think they actually hid it well do you?” Lily
challenges.

“Well yeah I did.. no one ever said anything?”

Lily laughs a little, “Sirius calling Remus, ‘My Moony’, running around after him like a lost puppy
at parties? The way they look at each other? I mean come on James! I know you have glasses but
surely even you’re not that blind!”

James laughs at ‘lost puppy’ if only she knew about Sirius’ animagus form she would know the
irony. He pulls an offended face about his vision but realises that they were the most obviously
loved up couple in Gryffindor tower- even if Sirius wasn’t out as bisexual yet. Everyone could see
how much they were made for each other.

”Yeah you’re right.” James admits after a short while, “The whole thing between him and Regulus
is so fucking weird.”

”Could he be under a spell? A love potion or imperious curse?” Lily asks curiously.

James shakes his head, “Unfortunately not. He just genuinely likes Reggie.”

”But he loves Sirius.” Lily reminds him.

”I don’t know about that.” James shrugs, “They hurt each other badly. Both of them betrayed each
other in the worst way.. I don’t think it matters that they love each other because the hatred
between them is stronger now.”

Lily ponders for a moment, “What did Sirius do? I know that Remus betrayed him by dating
Regulus but..why did Sirius and Remus break up? What did he do?”

James’ nose crinkles as he lets out another exasperated sigh, “I really can’t tell you that, Evans.”

Regulus sits in the library, his face buried in a book about cars. In another life where he could
choose the outcome of his own story, he would learn to drive the muggle way and get a black car.
He would drive it up and down the country roads, taking Remus on adventures and little trips to
hidden gems in England. Perhaps if he were brave enough, he would try an aeroplane but it didn’t
seem that safe. He would rather disapparate than risk something like that.

He starts getting bored as he waits for Remus to turn up, they hadn’t actually arranged to meet up
this weekend but Reg was positive Remus would show at some point for whatever reason.
Whether to study, borrow a book or maybe, just to see him.

Truthfully, Regulus wasn’t going to continue seeing Remus when he saw how much pain he had
cause Sirius in doing so. But after the visit to the hospital wing where Sirius had disowned him,
Reggie didn’t see the point in losing someone else he cared for. Other than Sirius and his two
friends, Remus was the only other person Reggie trusted with his life. He was the only other
person who could make the closed off boy smile the way he did.

Someone slams their bag on the top of Reggie’s books, he glances up to see Evan glowering at him
miserably. Evan steps back, folding his arms across his chest and arches his eyebrow expectantly.

”Errr.. you alright, Rosier?” Reg asks puzzled.

Evan narrows his eyes, “You tell me, Reg.”

”What?”

”Why didn’t you tell me?” Evan breathes out.

”Tell you what?”

”That you’re fucking gay!” Evan snaps, “Why’d I have to find out from Barty!?”

Reggie’s eyes widen horrified, “Well.. you’re kind of.. you hate gays don’t you!? I didn’t want to
lose you as a friend.”

Evan smacks his lips together and rolls his eyes, “Fucks sake, Reggie.”

”It’s true! I’ve heard the comments you make! I was there for most of th-“

”I’m gay!” Evan hisses lowly, running his hands through his hair stressing, “Merlin Reg! I’m
fucking gay as fuck.”

Regulus takes a moment then breathes out a sigh of relief, “Oh! Thank god! I thought you were
going to kill me for being..you know.” He pulls a face of confusion, “So what’s with the blatant
homophobia?”

”I didn’t want anyone to suspect me..” Evan admits quietly, “You’re the only person I’ve told.”

”Barty?”
Evan shakes his head, “No. I can’t tell him.”

”He’s fine with it.” Reg smiles, “He was ready to hex Sirius when he found out because he
thought-“ Reggie abruptly stops speaking at the mention of Sirius’ name.

”I know he’s fine with it but I can’t tell him.” Evan shrugs, “I err.. I’ve err..I’ve loved him since we
were twelve years old so..I’d rather avoid that entire scenario.”

Reggie feels his heart drop like a wilting flower at Evans admission. He had always wondered why
he felt like an outsider in their three way friendship, it turned out Evan just wanted to be with Barty
more- in a different way. If Evan had never said anything, Reggie would never have believed he
were gay. Evan was the toughest man in their trio, he had boys in the years above moving out of
his way in the corridor. No one ever dreamed of fucking with him, even when they were little first
years. Evan Rosier’s name put the fear into people.

”I won’t tell him.” Reggie promises with a small smile, “I won’t tell a soul.”

Evan nods gratefully, “Good..erm.. I had something else to ask you actually. It’s a bit odd
considering the conversation we just had but..Erm..”

”Go on..”

”Will you come to my wedding in July?”

Reggie looks at Evan in alarm, “You’re not even seventeen yet! Why are you getting married?!”

”I have parental consent so they’re having it just after I turn seventeen..instead of waiting until I’m
eighteen next year.” Evan gulps harshly, “I think my parents suspect that I don’t.. that I don’t like
girls.”

”Will you still get to come to school next year?”

Evan shrugs his shoulders a little, “I want to but they might force me out to do my duty as a
husband and-“ His voice cracks as he tries to fight the urge to cry, “to him.”

Barty comes flying around the corner of the library, he sees Reggie and Evan talking and pulls an
apologetic look. Regulus can’t help but burst into laughter at the fear written on his best friends
face, Evan cracks up too as Barty looks at them both.

”You alright Reggie? I swear I didn’t mean to expose you! It just slipped out!”

”We are fine.” Regulus nods, sharing a small smile with Evan, “Shall we get going then?”

“Your boyfriend not around?” Barty asks casually.

Evan glances between the two friends, “Excuse me? Boyfriend?”

”Fuck.” Barty mutters, face palming aggressively.

Reggie shrugs, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Who?!” Evan demands feeling awfully left out.

”Remus.” Reggie blushes shyly.

Evans eyebrows shoot up then his face falls, “You mean you don’t know?”
”Know what?” Reg asks as he starts packing his bag up.

”He’s in the hospital wing.”

Regulus has never ran so fast in his life, all manner of horrible thoughts entering his mind but most
of them involving his brother. Due to how they were raised, he couldn’t put it past Sirius to have
hexed or beaten Remus at some point, he had literally seen Sirius punch him in the face. It was
bound to kick off again at some point because the two of them shared a dormitory and many
classes together.

Remus is the only one in the entire hospital wing, he’s fast asleep and awfully white. Reg stares at
the new scar across his face and wonders what on earth had happened. He reaches for the elder
boys hand, giving it a tight squeeze. Remus’ eyes flutter open, he turns to the side and smiles
wearily at Reg.

”What are you doing here?” He asks softly, stifling a yawn.

”I heard you were here. I had to see that you were okay.” Reggie explains shyly, keeping hold of
his hand.

Remus smiles, “I’m glad you came.”

”So.. what happened? Why are you here?”

Remus’ face falls, “Oh.. I fell.”

”Fell?” Regulus frowns, not believing it for even a second.

“Yeah right into a mirror, the entire thing shattered.” Remus lies, his jaw twitching as he does.

Regulus takes a breath, forcing a smile and leaving it as it was. For whatever reason Remus wasn’t
telling the truth, he was used to lying about his own injuries to protect his parents. Reggie couldn’t
erase the thought that Remus was lying to protect his brother, to protect his ex.

Madame Pomfrey appears out of her office, a great big smile on her face as she comes rushing over
to Remus’ bedside. She takes a look at Reggie with a warm smile, then does another quick once
over and looks puzzled for it wasn’t Sirius Black but his little brother at Remus’ bedside. She had
grown so used to the other brother being there every month that it had taken her a moment to tell
them apart.

”Sorry, I’m going to have to ask you to leave dear.”

Reggie nods, standing to his feet and gives Remus a quick kiss on his forehead. Remus blushes
brightly at the public affection in front of the school nurse, something that Remus had no
experience with before now.

”Come back after dinner?” Remus requests with a grin.

Regulus nods, turning towards the doors and seeing his two friends standing and watching. Both of
them waiting on him, he turns as red as a cherry realising they had seen all. Once the door is shut,
Madame Pomfrey takes a seat and slides a book into Remus’ lap.Remus frowns, flipping to the
bookmarked page and starts reading.

“I’ve been looking all day, I think I found something that may help.” She explains pointing to the
image of a purple flower, “Aconite- it’s also known as wolfsbane. I really don’t know if it will
work but it’s supposed to repel the wolf and I thought it would help tame your changes. It’s also
used in healing for pains and aches..”

”Bloody hell.” Remus grins elatedly, “It’s definitely worth a try!”

Madame Pomfrey nods eagerly, just as excited as Remus, “It’s extremely rare and hard to get hold
of but I know someone! I could have it here in time for the next moon.”

”Brilliant! Wow.. I don’t know what to say!” Remus smiles in disbelief, “Just wow.. thank you.
Thank you so much!”

Madame Pomfrey smiles back, squeezing Remus’ hand, “You’re so very welcome Remus. I do
have to warn you of the risks though, it may not work the way we hope-“

”Pardon my interruption Ma-am but anything that potentially helps is worth the risk.” Remus
whispers, “Anything that may stop the pain is worth a chance.”

Barty and Evan watch with confusion as Regulus stomps over to the Gryffindor table in the Great
Hall. James and Pete both look at Reggie, the alarm bells ringing in their minds as they see the
thunderous look etched upon the young boys face. He looked absolutely murderous. He looked as
crazy as the Black brothers insane cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange. For a moment, James wondered if
Remus had maybe called things off with him and told him the truth about how he felt toward
Sirius. That theory was quickly shut down as he tapped his older brother on the shoulder.

Sirius ignored it, knowing exactly who was behind him and wanting nothing to do with him. He
had told Regulus straight, he had cut him off, disowned him and severed all ties. Reggie clears his
throat angrily, tapping his brother yet again with more force.

”I’m being haunted.” Sirius stares to his unamused friends, “There’s an annoying ghost persistently
tapping me on the fucking shoulder.”

Regulus grits his teeth, then places both his hands on Sirius’ shoulder and yanks him off the bench
and onto the floor. He kicks him in the side of the head, Sirius grabs hold of his feet and pulls him
to the ground, getting on his knees and punching Reggie in the face. A crowd of students have
gathered and started chanting as other stand on the benches for a better look. Regulus lifts his foot
and kicks Sirius in the stomach, making his keel over in pain. Reggie takes the opportunity to grab
Sirius hair and pull it viciously.

”You fight like a fucking bitch!” Sirius yells, darting forward and flooring his brother by grabbing
his waist.

He raises his first and it collides with Reggie’s nose, blood pours out of it. Reggie holds his nose
with one hand, using his free one to punch Sirius then lifts his legs and kicks him the dick. Sirius
curses loudly, before grabbing his brothers fingers and bending them further and further back,
making Reggie wince before he kicks with his legs again, colliding with Sirius’ hip.

James grabs Sirius by the scruff of his collar and pulls his off his brother, “What the fuck are you
doing?!”

”He fucking started it!” Sirius spits at his brothers feet.

Barty helps Regulus stand and Reggie launches forward and pushes Sirius’ chest. Sirius goes to
swing for him again but both James and Barty stand between the fighting brothers. They share a
brief expression from their unlikely union, then both gently move their friend in the opposite
direction.

“He is the reason Remus is in the hospital wing!” Regulus snaps at Barty.

Sirius overhears and snaps his head towards his brother, “What the fuck did you say?”

”You heard me! I know he was lying about why he was in there! You think I don’t know when
someone is lying about the reason they’re hurt?! We’re both fucking professionals at that
remember? He fell into a mirror and cut up his face?” Regulus yells, not caring about the crowd,
“You fucking pushed him! I know you did!”

“No I fucking didn’t!” Sirius yells back defensively, tapping both of his feet angrily, “I never
fucking touched him!”

”LIAR!” Regulus screams, the crowd watching wide eyed and muttering amongst themselves,
rumours starting to brew and bubble.

Sirius scoffs, “I am not a liar. You two are.”

”If you ever lay a finger on him again-“

”WHAT?” Sirius roars, brushing past James pointing his finger right in Regulus’ face, “What the
fuck are you going to do about it?!”

“I will fucking kill you.”

Sirius scoffs, his mouth twitching into a manic smile, “Sounding a lot like Mummy and Daddy
now Reggie. Bet they’re both so fucking proud.”

The crowd starts breaking apart, disappearing back to their own lives as Professor McGonagall
waltzes through. She gives the two brothers an extremely stern look and shakes her head at them.
She couldn’t remember the last time the Black brothers had one of their moments, it seemed to
have settled for awhile but here they were again.

”Detention for both of you. Monday after classes. My office.” She says disappointedly, “Fifty
points each from Gryffindor and Slytherin.”

Barty drags his friend away from the gossiping Gryffindor table, Reggie holds a handkerchief from
Evan to his nose, blood dripping on the floor as he walks away. Sirius sits gripping the table until
his knuckles are white, he had never been so mad in his life. His brother had just accused him of
abusing Remus. That was one of the worst things anyone could have ever assumed about him.
He’d worked so hard to escape his parents abuse, he had worked so hard to be nothing like them
but what was the point? His own brother had thought him capable of harming someone he loved.

He could hear people whispering, he could see them pointing to him and he felt sick. He knew
exactly what the new rumour flying about the castle would be and there was nothing he could do
about it. After all, he and Remus had publicly fallen out for weeks- why would anyone believe him
over Remus’ fucking boyfriend?
Chapter End Notes

Hehe new pain unlocked with Evan his storyline is just background development
and will be mentioned a bunch of times throughout the rest of the story but won’t ever
be a main focus.

Remus is getting introduced to aconite thanks Poppy Pomfrey

And errr Reggie got everything a bit wrong didn’t he? I feel so bad for both of the
brothers because damn why did I do that? In the words of Taylor swift - it’s me, hi,
I’m the problem, it’s me

Also if you see any typos please try and ignore them for some reason my phone likes
to correct me even when I’m right and it’s wrong? Like no I do mean WAND not
WANT stop correcting me
 Chapter 12
Chapter Notes

WARNING
-Smut

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Sirius Black admires his appearance in the mirror, he had used a concealing charm for the bags
under his eyes for the first time in his life. He was gifted with flawless skin but after all the drama
recently, he was looking haggered- well as haggered as someone as fit as he could look. He had his
hair tied in a top-knot, secured with his wand, his signature eyeliner and black leather jacket. He
felt a little more like himself today after his stint in the hospital.

James had tried to style his hair but with no avail and gave up. He’d chosen to wear a pale blue t-
shirt and jeans because it was actually a really warm day. He didn’t understand how Sirius wasn’t
sweltering in all black and leather but knew better than to mention it. He knew Sirius like the back
of his hand, he could already hear Sirius’ voice rambling about fashion regardless of the weather.

Due to the kick off in the Great Hall, James had personally seeked out Emmeline Vance afterward
to tell her the rumours weren’t true- Sirius Black had not attacked Remus Lupin. Luckily, both
Emma and Dorcas Meadowes had found it hard to believe as they had witnessed the closeness
between the marauders over the years and couldn’t imagine any of them causing the others any sort
of pain.

When the two boys emerged from their common room, it was to find Emma already waiting for
them. She was wearing a lavender dress with small pale yellow flowers dotted on it. James gave
Sirius a small shove towards her, giving him an encouraging look.

”Oh..”Sirius said looking at James for guidance, “You look nice.”

”Thank you.” Emma smiles looking toward James “Dorcas is waiting near the Great Hall.”

As they turn to leave, Lily Evans, Mary MacDonald and Marlene McKinnon come down the stairs.
Everything seems to slow down for James as he looks at Lily, he gives her a lopsided grin and
waves at her awkwardly. It’s as if he’s in some sort of trance as he watches her descend the stairs,
arm in arm with Marlene and Mary. James doesn’t believe he has ever seen a more beautiful girl in
his life. Sirius nudges him in the ribs, making him hiss at the sharp pain from Sirius’ bony elbow.

The three girls walk ahead, James respectfully keeping his eyes trained on his shoes whilst he
walks. Sirius takes Emma’s hand, the two of them talking amongst themselves. Sirius really is
trying to make the most of the date and the situation. Emma was a lovely girl, probably one of the
kindest people in their year and she was hot, but she wasn’t Remus Lupin. He had made a promise
to not only James, but to himself to attempt to move on.

Whilst the rest of his year went to the grounds to meet up for the Hogsmede weekend, Regulus
snuck to the hospital wing to meet Remus. He was being discharged in time for the Hogsmede trip
but they had other plans, just the two of them in the mostly empty castle. They could spend time
together and not worry about any of the marauders, specifically Sirius interrupting them.
Remus was already up waiting for Reg to arrive, he hid besides the door so when Regulus walked
in- he would walk straight passed him, which he did. Remus snuck up behind him, covering his
eyes with his hands, both laughing as he turned the boy to face him. He cupped the side of Regulus
neck, pulling him forwards into a kiss. Reg smiled as the warm fuzzy feeling ran through his entire
body. Being with Remus felt like a constant high and he never wanted to come down from it.

”I figured whilst everyone else was out I could show some more of those secret passageways.”
Remus says as they pull apart.

Reggie nods eagerly, “Definitely.”

They hold hands, swinging them back and fourth as Remus leads the way. Regulus can’t stop
looking up, his cheeks burning from smiling so much. Remus made him feel so happy and so
protected. He wasn’t sure what it was that made him feel safe, whether it was because he was older
and taller or something entirely different that he couldn’t place yet.

Remus nervously looks around, a habit he had developed from all the homophobic attacks he’d
experienced. He never wanted Sirius or Reggie to face what he had to, but Reg was fine with being
open like Remus was. He had no protests to holding hands in the corridor or kissing him in front of
passerbys- Reg didn’t care about what others thought and that made Remus feel special. He felt
less like a dirty secret and more appreciated and accepted for who he was.

They come to a stop in front of a mirror on the fourth floor, Remus checks the coast is clear before
tapping the side of the mirror thrice. The mirror swings open, unveiling a secret passage way and
Reggie’s face lights up as Remus steps inside, lighting the tip of his wand. He holds his hand out,
helping Reg to step up and in the hole in the wall, the mirror shuts them inside at once.

The tunnel is extremely narrow and like the one to Honeydukes is very dark and uneven. Reggie
let’s Remus lead the way, wondering how these tunnels had ever come about and wondering who
had discovered them first.

“Mind the steps.” Remus warns, guiding Regulus down the slippery stones.

When he looks up they’re in a large room lit up by magical flaming torches hung around the room.
There was a tatty torn sofa in one corner by a wonky bookcase with very few books upon its
shelves and a record player. Against another wall was a cabinet, which on further inspection had
mismatched drawers and moving photographs in frames. Reggie takes one and reads the small
writing on the front, Remus wraps his arms around his waist and rests his head on Reggie’s
shoulder, looking down at the photo in his hand.

”Do you recognise anyone in the photo?” He asks with a knowing smirk.

Regulus shakes his head, “Should I?”

Remus points to a tall young girl with dark hair tied in a bun, glasses perched on the end of her
nose. She’s ruffling a boys head with her fist, both in old Gryffindor Quidditch robes.

”That is Professor McGonagall.” Remus informs him,then points to the boy she’s give a noogie to,
“And that is James’ Da.”

”Shit yeah, he really looks like his Father doesn’t he?” Regulus comments, placing the photo back
down.

He glances at the others, his heart sinking slightly at a photo of the marauders together. Sirius and
Remus are standing besides eachother, holding hands. Sirius’ arm is wrapped around James as
James laughs and Peter rolls his eyes from next to them. He ignores the feeling in his chest and
turns to face Remus.

Remus smiles at him as Reggie starts pulling him along to the sofa, he pushes Remus down and
then straddles him, his legs either side of Remus’ thighs. He starts kissing Remus, determined to
prove himself. He didn’t want to be Sirius’ brother, he was worried that Remus would start
comparing them and want to go back. He had to prove that he was worth it. That he was great like
Sirius was, otherwise he would lose Remus, he was sure of it.

Regulus start kissing Remus’ neck tenderly before sucking and biting leaving love bites to envy all.
Everyone would know that Remus had someone. He start tugging at the bottom of Remus’ tshirt,
the older boy sits up lifting the top over his own head as Reg stares awestruck. Remus had the most
wonderfully toned body, but it was the scars across his chest that made his stomach to flips. He
runs his fingers over them, taking a sharp breath before leaning forward and kissing Remus’ mouth
again. He couldn’t believe how perfect the Gryffindor boy was. He couldn’t believe his luck to be
sat here snogging him like he was.

Remus suddenly tears Reggie’s top off with one swift movement, just pulls it apart at the seams as
the make out. Reg is speechless as he sits on Remus’ lap, both of them shirtless. He starts internally
panicking about how far it’s going, he wonders if today will be the day he looses his virginity and
he finds that if it were, then he would be okay with that. He was old enough, his friends had all lost
there’s already and he felt a little behind. He was glad he had waited. He was alright with waiting
longer if necessary but if it were to happen now, right here with Remus Lupin- then he wouldn’t
complain.

”I’m ready.” Reg voices out loud, his voice crackling slightly from nerves, “I want my first time to
be with you.”

Remus surges forward as he kisses the nervous boy before him. Reg kisses back, his arms looping
around Remus neck. Their kissing grows more and more breathlessly, Regulus starts rubbing his
growing erection against Remus, who smiles lustfully and grips ahold of Reggie’s hips. He flips
them around so that Reggie is sat on the couch. Remus gets down on his knees, looking up at the
nervous but extremely horny Slytherin.

”Spread your legs.” Remus demands in cool tone, Reg obeys.

He watches wide eyed as Remus undoes his pants, pulling them down along with his boxer shorts
as Reg lifts his bum to help. Remus admires Reggie’s dick with a hungry smile, he locks eyes with
Reg as he leans forward and licks the slit, tasting the salty pre-cum. Reg grips onto the sofa as a
shudder runs through his entire body, his toes curling as Remus starts sucking his cock.

Sirius holds his leather jacket over Emma’s head as the rain starts pouring down, James (who
wished he had a jacket with him now) and Dorcas run ahead to the three broomsticks as Emma
smiles gratefully at Sirius. He really is trying his best. The four of them slide in a booth together,
ordering a round of butter beer that rich boy James buys. Sirius compliments Emma’s eyes, which
makes her blush and hide away in her hands. When she gets a foam moustache from her drink, he
leans forward and wipes it away with his thumb, taking the opportunity to lean and kiss her. He
tries to block thoughts of Remus Lupin entering his mind as he snogs the hot girl. James whoops
and hollers loudly in celebration, forcing them apart as Emma blushes once again and Sirius rolls
his eyes.

James and Dorcas’ date however, had been spent talking about Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon.
As it turned out. James wasn’t the only one with an unrequited crush on a Gryffindor girl. They
bonded over their hopeless feelings, quickly becoming fast friends as they listed all the ways they
had dropped hints.

”Does she know you like girls?” James asked eventually.

Dorcas’ face turned white, her eyebrows upturned with worry, “Well no.. but gay people aren’t
really accepted are they? Even if she knew she probably wouldn’t feel the same. I think she fancies
Sirius as well as every other girl in the school.”

James presses his lips together, “I don’t know what anyone sees in him, he’s a right obnoxious
twat.”

”Erm I’m sat right here Prongsie.” Sirius says, rising his eyebrow, “You aren’t complaining when
we’re spooning every night.”

Emma giggles, Sirius turning his attention back to her and leaning forward to kiss her again. She
wraps her arms around his neck, he rests his hand behind her head on the back of their booth as he
slowly kisses her, parting her lips with his tongue.

”It’s getting a bit pornographic isn’t it?” Dorcas asks, tilting her head to watch the way they snog.

James nods, pulling a disgusted look at the soft moan that leaves Sirius mouth. It was strange
seeing him kiss someone that wasn’t Remus Lupin, but it was a good thing. James was rooting for
Sirius to meet someone and be as happy as Remus was with Reg. Everyone deserved to be happy
even people like Severus Snape.

Regulus grips Remus’ curls, pulling the boy off of his dick. Both of them are panting with
pleasure, Remus looks up at Reg with a flicker of concern, wondering why the boy had made him
stop. Regulus leans down, planting kisses on his face and then brings their mouths together.

”I want you to fuck me.” He whispers in between the needy snogging, “I want all of you Remus.”

”Fuckkk.” Remus mutters heatedly.

He wasn’t sure about this. His desire to one side, it wasn’t the wisest decision. He knew he didn’t
have any STDs or anything, him and Sirius were always safe but that was the issue, it all boiled
back down to Sirius. Could Remus really go all the way with another person? With Sirius’ brother
of all people?

”Remus?” Reggie asks shyly, looking terribly nervous.

Remus smiles at him reassuringly, kissing him again and he knew he wouldn’t be able to take it
back. He couldn’t take any of it back, he was already in too deep with Reggie, he couldn’t change
his mind now.

“We need to take it slow.” He says gently, pecking Reggie comfortingly, “It’ll hurt and I don’t
want to hurt you.”

”It’s okay.” Reggie says, “I trust you.”

Remus kisses him again, heat pooling in his stomach as he lowers himself back down on Reggie.
The Slytherin gasps with pleasure as Remus’ licks his hole, saliva dripping down his crack.
Remus’ hand plays with Reggie’s dick, as he sucks his balls and teases relentless, Reggie’s body
withering with stimulation. He then strokes along the aching hole with his finger, watching as it
tenses and releases, Reggie groaning with pleasure. He wasn’t going to last. Remus uses a spell,
Reggie feels the cool lubrication. Then Remus gently pushes the tip of his finger in, Reggie
clenching around it and his hands gripping the sofa tightly.

”You okay, Reg?” Remus checks, Reggie nods closing his eyes, “I need to hear your words,
sweetheart.”

”Y-yes.” Reggie gasps as Remus slowly pumps his finger in and out.

It was bizarre at first, it felt weird but once he relaxed a little- he liked it. Remus fingers the hole
deeper and deeper, whilst sucking Reggie’s dick with his mouth. Enjoying the sounds leaving his
mouth, enjoying the random shivers of pleasure that left his body. It was gentle and soft, Remus
keeping a close eye on Reg, making sure it wasn’t getting too much for him. Eventually, Reggie
falls back, his back arched as he cums down Remus’ throat. Remus continues sucking whilst Reg
orgasms, shaking aggressively as he swears loudly.

Once he collapses down, looking slightly disoriented, Remus removes himself and sits besides
him. He wraps the naked boy in his arms, Reggie resting on his chest as he slowly starts coming
back to himself. Remus kisses the side of his head, Reg’s curls tickling his face. After a few
minutes of laying their, Reg sits up.

”I should take care of that.” He says pointing to Remus’ boner.

Remus laughs and shakes his head, “No it’s alright, let’s just lay here for a bit.”

Reg settles back down without any protest, he felt special laid in Remus arms. He would trust
Remus with everything and anything. Reggie knew that the was going to lose his virginity to this
man, and that was okay but Remus was willing to do it all safely, no matter how desperate Reg was
to lose it.

As the rain falls heavier outside, many students return back to Hogwarts early including James and
Sirius with their dates. James is walking ahead with Dorcas, both of them rushing to greet Peter
who had spent the afternoon at wizarding chess club with Professor Slughorn. Sirius is walking
hand in hand with Emmeline, smiling as they arrange their next date. Regulus is standing at the
bottom of the stairs with his two best friends, who are shoving various purchases into his arms.

”Ooh and I got you this bookmark!” Barty says excitedly, “You’re always pissing reading, figured
it might be handy!”

”Cheers.” Reg says grinning slightly, “You didn’t have to buy me all this though.. I do have
money.”

Barty rolls his eyes, “We’re your friends and you bailed on us to see your little boyfriend.”

Sirius overhears and stiffens slightly as they reach James and the rest of the group. He’s still
holding Emma’s hand, but impulsively checking over his shoulder to see whether or not Remus
was with Reg (he wasn’t). Emma talks excitedly with Dorcas,Marlene, Mary and Lily, talking
about what a gentleman Sirius is. James and Peter are standing with them, both eyes glued to Sirius
as his jaw tenses.

”Why do you look so…”Evan prompts, rising his eyebrow at Reg, “You look so suspicious.”

”Eh?” Reggie asks admiring the leather embossed bookmark.

Bartys eyes widen suddenly, “OH FUCK! You’ve fucking done it haven’t you?”
”What?” Evan blinks in surprise, eyeing Reg quizzically.

”He’s fucked Lupin!” Barty says, then pauses, “Or did he fuck you?”

”Keep it down will you?!” Reg hisses, glancing over his shoulder.

His heart sinks, seeing his older brother looking right at him. He had overheard the entire
conversation and although it wasn’t true..it was getting to that point between them. Sirius tears his
eyes away, looking at James for help as his eyes starting watering and his chest starts constricting
tightly with panic .

”Well ladies, we’ve got man plans so we have to go.” James smiles, awkwardly clapping his hands
together.

Lily frowns at James, “What are man plans?”

”You know.. boy stuff.” James shrugs.

”Boy stuff?”

”Yeah we’re comparing dick sizes.” Sirius says, letting go of Emma’s hand and wrapping his arms
around his two friends, “Can we go now?”

“He’s joking!” James announces over his shoulder at the giggling group of girls, “We are NOT
doing that!!”

“We already did it once! Never again!” Peter adds unhelpfully, making the girls laugh harder.

The three of them head straight to their dorm room, James thanks his lucky stars that Remus isn’t
present. He had quite enough of Sirius getting into fights and wasn’t keen on attempting to break
up another one. He had a few small bruises on his arms from getting caught up in the crossfire.
James falls back onto his bed, mentally preparing himself for Sirius’ outburst.Peter sinks back
against his headboard, watching Sirius pace back and fourth. Then he sits on the edge of his bed,
his hands clasped together before him and sighs.

”So..they’re fucking.” He nods calmly, as if he’s trying to make it sink in, “My ex boyfriend
is..FUCK.”

He throws his face into his hands, then runs them through his hair as he looks up at the ceiling. He
tries to tell himself it’s none of his business, he tries not to think about it but it’s two people he
loves and wants to protect despite everything. The thing about sex is that it’s so intimate, it’s so
special and it takes such a lot of trust to reach that point. It hurts.

Sirius thought he had more time to move on, but he realises as he stares at his feet that time doesn’t
stop for anyone. He can’t expect them to slow down or wait until he’s ready, because the truth is,
he won’t ever be ready. Remus Lupin was the absolute love of his life and no one would ever be
able to replace that. He then scoffs as he realises Remus was able to replace him with his brother of
all people and he starts crying.

At that moment Remus walks into the dorm, he looks at Sirius crying on his bed and steps forward
to comfort him but backs away again just as quickly. He walks over to his trunk, rummaging for
his potions book, when the polaroid he took from Sirius’ bedside table flies out and lands across
the room at Sirius’ feet.

Sirius bends down and picks it up, staring at the photo of them from Halloween. His heart in his
throat as he turns to look at Remus. The taller boy is standing shamefaced as he looks away. Sirius
stands to his feet, standing right before Remus.

”Fucking look at me.”

Remus sheepishly looks up, staring at the Polaroid Sirius is shoving in his face.

“I just-“

”What? Hmm? Fucked my brother but can’t let go of us!?” Sirius says angrily, his throat bobbing
up and down, “You disgust me Remus. Truly.”

Remus reaches forward to take the photo back, then watches with surprise as Sirius tears it in half
and flicks it in Remus’ face. Sirius then turns on his heels and stomps out of the dorm room, his
head completely frazzled by Remus and his actions. He had the Polaroid, that had to mean
something.. but he chose Regulus. He chose his brother.

In the common room, Sirius sees Emmeline sat with the girls. She’s braiding Lily’s hair, when
Sirius decides to approach. He offers her his hand, which she takes and he drags her along with
him. He was moving on somehow, even if trying absolutely killed him.

”Come on Princess.” Sirius says, he pins her against the wall along the corridor and kisses her lips.

”We’ve only just ended our date.” Emma smiles with a small laugh, kissing him back tentatively.

Sirius shrugs, “I can’t stop thinking about you.” He lies easily, curling her hair around his fingers
as he plants kisses along her jaw.

Remus collects the teared photo off the floor, holding them together, the rip splitting the two apart.
The magic has faded, leaving the image still and unmoving like a muggle one. He holds them
together, waiting for it to come back to life, waiting to see Sirius’ face light up as he kisses him but
it doesn’t.

”You alright Moony?” James asks uncertainly.

Remus glances up, “Yeah.. “His voice cracks as a tear rolls down his cheek, “I miss him.”

”He’s still the same person.” James points out.

”You still love him.” Peter says suddenly, making James flip round and shoot him a look.

”I do.” Remus admits in defeat, “But I like Regulus and I can’t forgive Sirius. I’ll never forgive
Sirius.”

James frowns, “You sure you like Reg?”

”Yes!” Remus insists, “I like him! I do! I want to try with him and be happy with him.”

”But?”

”But it doesn’t make things with Sirius hurt any less. I still miss him, I still care about him and I
still lo..you know.”

Peter rolls his eyes, he was so glad he didn’t have things like this to deal with. The closest he had
ever gotten was short lived crushes and a first kiss with Mary MacDonald during a game of dares
in third year. He had no desire to date especially after witness the state of his parents crumbling
 marriage over Christmas and now this shit show between two of his closest and bestest friends.

”Can’t you two just be friends again?” Pete asks impatiently, receiving yet another disapproving
look from James, “I miss it being the four of us.”

Remus shrugs a little, “I..I don’t know.”

”You don’t even have to forgive him to get along.” Peter insists, his voice breaking a little, “I just
need my friends back.”

James’ forehead creases with concern, “Are you alright, Wormtail?”

Peter shrugs, “I just miss the way it was.”

James sighs then nods, “Me too.”

”I’ll try and get along with him.” Remus says, “I’ll make an effort but if he mentions Moony or the
full moon or Severus..then count me out.”

”Thanks Remus!” Pete smiles, scurrying over to hug Remus tightly, “Thank you!”

”I am dating his brother though.. I don’t think Sirius will agree to this.” Remus says patting Peter
on the back.

”Leave it with me.” James grins, his eyes sparkling with mischief, “I have an idea.”

Chapter End Notes

No because this entire thing deleted and I had to rewrite it from memory I’m
absolutely fuming and I am convinced the old one was 10000x better even though idk
what I wrote

Yay for potential wolfstar friendship?? Lol jk we all know that’s not going to happen
 Chapter 13
Chapter Notes

TRIGGER WARNINGS
-mention of weed (being high)
-mention of child abuse (thanks Walburga and Orion)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

It takes James awhile to track Sirius down, his heart racing in fear incase he’d relapsed again. He
could have punched Sirius when he found him hidden in the fourth floor tunnel, lounging on the
sofa stark naked with Emma asleep in his arms. He was absently drawing circles on her naked
back, staring at the photo of the marauders.

Sirius momentarily looks down at Emma sleeping on his chest, he feels guilt weighing heavily on
him. He feels likes he’s cheated on Remus when he hasn’t at all. He feels bad for sleeping with
Emmeline too, she’s such a nice girl and he’d just fucked all his stress out and anger out with her.
He was still pissed off, still twitchy and still thinking about Remus so what it even accomplished,
other than an intense orgasm?

”Put some fucking pants on.” James hisses as he throws Sirius’ pants at his head, “I’ve had enough
of seeing your hairy dick and balls all the ruddy time.”

”My dick and balls are beautiful, Prongsie.” He winks, slowly laying Emma down keeping her
naked body hidden by his leather jacket, “What brings you here during my-“

”Shut up.” James groans, “I don’t want details. I have Remus news.”

Sirius pulls a face, “You interrupt my fun evening for that?”

James looks at Emma who is still sound asleep and squints at Sirius, “Yes because laying naked
with a girl whilst she sleeps is so fun.”

”At least I’ve laid naked with a girl.” Sirius hits back, “Besides we were probably going to go again
once she wakes.”

”Anyway.”James says his eyes widening in horror like the virgin he is, “As I was saying, Remus
has agreed to a truce.”

“A truce?”

“He agreed to try and get along with you..despite..well.. everything.”

Sirius pulls another face, “No.”

”No?!” James ask with a tone of surprise.

”He is fucking my brother!” Sirius screeches dramatically, “He’s a disgusti-“

”Padfoot!” James interrupts, “You hurt each other but this fall out is affecting me and Pete too!
You can get on without forgiving each other. We share a dormitory for fucks sake.” James inhales
a sharp breath, “Maybe he will even invite you to the next moon if all goes well.. you know so you
can sniff out that guy?”

Sirius looks away guiltily, “I sort of forgot about him.. did Remus mention anything?”

”He doesn’t remember.” James whispers incredulously at the question, “We need Padfoot.”

”Right fine.” Sirius mutters, “But if he brings his boyfriend near me I’ll rip both their heads off and
shove them up each others arses.”

James grimaces but nods regardless, noticing Emma waking up he excuses himself and leaves the
two of them to it. James wasn’t entirely sure what Sirius’ was playing at, it was evident he didn’t
really like Emmeline in that way but he couldn’t be pissed because at least he was trying to move
on. James had been quite proud of Sirius when he tore the photo up but then his heart broke for
Remus. It was all a wild complicated rollercoaster of emotions for all them, it felt like his parents
were going through divorce or something.

As he comes out of the tunnel he bumps into Remus and Reggie, who step back in surprise. James
presses his lips together as the mirror shuts and looks at the two boys holding hands.

”I wouldn’t go in there.” James states, “It’s Err occupied..”

”Sirius?” Remus asks, “You find him? What did he say?”

James notices the way Reg tenses at the mention of his brother and the questions leaving Remus’
mouth. They sounded hopeful and excitable and James realised that much really bloody suck as the
new partner.

“He agreed to get along for the sake of the dormitory.”

”Oh great.” Remus nods, “I’ll be back later just..” He points to Regulus, “We’re just-“

”I don’t want to know.” James interrupts, “Have fun though I guess.”

Reggie follows Remus, his mind spinning with questions. Why was Sirius willing to get along with
Remus but not him? Why did Sirius always choose the three marauders over him? He would never
choose Barty or Evan over Sirius, but James Potter and the others had always been Sirius’ top
priority. Regulus stops, pulling his hand from Remus’ grasp. Remus turns to face him, licking his
lip as he awaits nervously for Reg to speak.

”Reggie?” Remus asks after a bit too long of a silence.

”Why does he agree to get along with you but disowns me- again?” Reg asks quietly, “All this
started because I wanted my brother to notice me and then I caught feelings for you! It isn’t fair,
Remus.”

Remus steps forward, placing his hand at the back of Reggie’s head as he pulls him into his chest,
“I know sweetheart.. I’ll talk to him. I’ll try and fix-“

”Don’t bother.” Reg says stiffly, “He made it clear he doesn’t have a brother anymore.”

Reggie pulls away from Remus, then takes his hand in his own and drags Remus along. He was
sick to death of his brother being mentioned or being brought up in some way or another. There
was one place that Reggie knew of where they would be undisturbed by the disowned black heir.
They reach the dungeons, Remus wide eyed with panic as Reg leads them towards his common
room.

”No Reg-“

”Follow me.”

Reg opens an empty classroom door, shutting it behind them and walks up to the bookcase. He
pulls several books in a specific sequence in and the bookcase swings open, unveiling a secret
room. Reggie smiles proudly as Remus stares awestruck, it turned out that the marauders hadn’t
found every secret room in the castle after all. The bookcase closes behind them, making Remus
jump a little as he takes in the space.There’s a small double bed against the far wall, a small dining
table with one seat and a door leading to en-suite bathroom.

“This is the old potions masters sleeping quarters but it hasn’t been used for centuries.”Reg
explains with a smile, “Barty, Evan and I found it in first year by accident when we were messing
with the books and spent three years trying to figure out how to get back in.”

Remus looks incredibly impressed, “How did you figure it out?”

”We just asked Professor Slughorn.” Reg shrugs, “We got permission to use it as a den.”

”From Slughorn?”

Reg nods, “He is our head of house and he doesn’t use the place so he let us have it.”

”Doesn't look like it’s been used.” Remus states admiring the gleaming surfaces.

“How many sixteen year olds do you know who want to have a secret den?” Reg snorts, “We used
it a handful of times and then realised our 11 year old selves had greatly exaggerated how cool the
room was. Barty swore blind he saw a unicorn.”

Remus blushes thinking about the marauders den upstairs on the fourth floor, that was still used if
and when they wanted sleepovers or whatever outside the dorms. Of course Reg would be too
mature and cool for things like that now. Remus follows Reg as he flips himself onto the bed,
Remus stands to the side watching the younger boy as he removes his shoes.

”Do not go shy on me now, Lupin.” Reg teases, holding his hand out and dragging Remus to sit
besides him.

Regulus then pushes Remus down and sits on his lap, he smiles down at Remus who swallows
nervously. For someone usually so confident and dominant, Remus had suddenly lost all his usual
characteristics. Perhaps it was because he was still thinking about the fact Sirius was on the fourth
floor with Emmeline Vance or maybe it was because Reg had taken charge.

Remus reaches up gently and brushes Reggie’s loose curls from his face, his hair was more tame
and fluffy than Sirius’. Remus mentally scolds himself for comparing the two of them yet again, it
was difficult not to considering they were both related. They weren’t actually that different
appearance wise. If you stripped Sirius of his makeup, his leather jacket and cut his hair- they’d be
identical twins- aside from the height. Reggie also had higher cheekbones and a slightly lighter
shade of grey eyes. Their personalities were definitely their biggest difference, but Remus couldn’t
help but notice all the ways they were the same.

Reg swoops forward and kisses Remus needingly, their chests pressing together as if they’re trying
to merge together to become. Reg takes hold of Remus’ hands and holds them sweetly, whilst his
tongue slides between Remus’ lips. Remus gasps tenderly.

”Did you know muggles have a place called Zoo’s?” Sirius asks James as they lay on the
dormitory floor listening to records with Peter.

James frowns at him, “Yeah? We learnt about that in muggle studies in second year..”

”Right well anyway there’s these thing called Ranos and they have horns-“

”What?” James asks more confused then ever before, he looks at Pete for help who just shrugs.

”They are just overweight unicorns I reckon.” Sirius continues with a sigh, “Someone ought to let
them know.”

James sits up, leaning across on his elbow and grabbing the blunt from Sirius’ grasp, “Yeah you do
that.”

”Moony is going to be so mad at us.”Pete worries, feeling extremely queasy.

“No he won’t! It’s his weed! He can’t get mad at us for smoking.” Sirius mumbles, rolling his
eyes.

Peter stares at Sirius like he has two heads, “Yeah exactly! It’s his weed!”

”Yeah so we’re fine.” Sirius nods, closing his eyes and enjoying the music.

Reg lifts his shirt over his head, Remus bites his lip as his eyes wander of Reggie’s body. Remus
refinds his lost dominance, placing one hand on the back Reggie’s lower back and flipping them so
Reg’s back bounces on the bed. Reggie laughs as Remus’ eyes turn dark with desire, he had got
Remus exactly where he wanted him.

Remus lifts his own top off, tossing it onto the floor then starts kissing from his stomach up to his
neck then jaw, smiling as he plants the gentle pecks all over. Reg laughs sweetly, squirming when
Remus kisses a particularly ticklish spot or a spot that leaves him breathless.

Remus smiles down at him, their eyes meeting before he kisses his mouth tenderly. This was
different. It was new. Remus had never had the urge to be gentle during intimate moments with
Sirius, they both knew what they liked but with Reggie, Remus felt the need to take it slower. If he
was going to take someone’s virginity, then he wanted to do it right.

Reggie wraps his arms around the older boys neck, deepening their snogging as Remus hard dick
rubs against his thighs. Desire built with in him, the need to pleasure the Gryffindor.

”Remus?” Reg says pulling away, “Can I..try something?”

Remus smirks at him, “What do you want to try, sweetheart?”

”Fuckk.” Reggie moans, “Do you have to call me that?”

”What? Sweetheart?”

”Yes.” Reg deadpans, “It does things to me.”

Remus’ head falls back as he laughs lightly, “In that case definitely, sweetheart.”

Reg suddenly sits up, banging heads with Remus with a loud smack “Shit.” Reg says as he rubs
the centre of his forehead.

“You alright?” Remus asks with a concerned frown.

”It’s just.. I..” Reg groans with embarrassment, “I thought about you calling Sirius sweetheart and
it.. just.. well it ruined the mood to be honest.”

Remus nods understandingly, he places his hand on Regulus’ cheek, making the younger boy stare
into his eyes, “We obviously need to talk about this in depth.. but for your peace of mind I never
called him that.”

”I find that hard to believe.” Reg mumbles, diverting his gaze from Remus’ hazel eyes.

”I called him other things, but not sweetheart.” Remus says.

Reg brushes Remus hand away from him, “You’re right, we need to talk about this. I can’t.. I can’t
stop thinking how much of this is us and how much is stuff you did with Sirius already..”

Remus smiles kindly, “What do you want to know?”

“Just like that?” Reg frowns suspiciously, “You’ll just let me know anything?”

Remus nods once, “I’m in this with you. I want you and need you to trust me before this goes any
further. Whatever you need to know, ask.”

Reggie considers this for a moment, he isn’t sure where to begin or how much he actually wants to
know. This was including his brother after all. He had spent his entire life being compared to Sirius
and now, he’d caught feelings he never believed to be possible for his brothers ex. He wanted to
and needed to trust Remus.

”When you were in the hospital..”Reg swallows self consciously, “Was it my brother who put you
in there? Did he abuse you?”

Remus’ smile evaporates on the spot, “What?” He breathes out in disbelief, “No? Where the hell-“

”Are you protecting him?”

”No!” Remus gapes, “Sirius never hurt me like that, he would never hurt anybody in that way
Reggie. Fighting yeah, but if someone wasn’t fighting back he’d walk away. He’s not like your
parents.”

Reggie’s face pales considerably, “H-how much about them did he tell you?”

”He told me about them using unforgivables on you both as kids. I know why he left for the
Potters that day. I know he used to take the blame for things..that you did.. to protect you..so that
you didn’t get hurt.”

Reg let’s out a bitter laugh, “Is that what he told you? He’s a liar.”

”A liar?” Remus frowns, “But I saw the marks with my own eyes-“

”Not about that part.” Reg states bluntly, “But he never protected me.”

“Oh..” Remus says uncertainly.

Remus notices the tears building in Reggie’s eyes but as he reaches forward to comfort him,Reg
flinches and moves further away. Remus’ heart seizes in his chest as Reg wraps his arms around
himself as he shakes with fear, sadness and a little anger. He wants more than anything to hold
him, drill into him that not everyone will hurt him or want to hurt him. He wants to tell him that he
won’t hurt him but he had said that to Sirius once- now look at them.

”He hid.” Regulus says quietly, “We would be playing like kids do, something would get broken
and he would runaway and hide. He didn’t take the blame. I did.” He wipes the tears away with the
back of his sleeve, “Supposedly they went easier on me because I was younger. He’s a coward.”

”I-“

”Actually Remus, can we just..I’m not in the mood for anything else. I don’t want to talk about it
anymore. Not now.”

Remus nods, “Whatever you need.”

Regulus shuffles back over to where Remus is sat, he rests his head on his bare chest and Remus
just holds him. After a while, Remus adjusts them so that he’s resting against the headboard of the
bed, Reggie wrapped up safely in his arms. It’s silent. Remus would have believed Regulus to be
sleeping,if it wasn’t for the teardrops falling onto his chest.

He didn’t know why Sirius would have lied about it, both of them were clearly traumatised from
whatever horrors took place in that house. They were both traumatised from their different stories,
their different version of events and Remus knew he would never know the truth. Only four people
knew exactly what took place in the noble house of Black.

“I have more questions,” Reg says sleepily, “Just..please wait for me.”

”I’ll wait for you, sweetheart.” Remus promises as Reggie snuggles into him.

James, Sirius and Peter lay on their backs, staring up at the ceiling as it spins above them. All three
of them laugh to themselves as a David Bowie song starts playing from the record player. Sirius
starts nodding his head to the beat (not in time), whilst James tries to relax and stop the ceiling
from moving.

“BUT WE’LL DANCE IN THE DARK, AND THEY’LL PLAY WITH OUR LIVES LIKE A
SLOW BURN.” Sirius sings along, his eyes filling with tears as he starts thinking of Remus. “OH
THESE ARE THE DAYS-“ His voice cracks as he stifles a sob, “I miss Moony.”

”Oh bloody hell.” James mutters, reaching his hand out to squeeze Sirius’ hand tightly.

”My parents are divorcing.” Peter says. James reaches with his other hand.

James sighs, “I mean my life is pretty perfect but I’m still a fucking virgin.”

”Tragic.” Sirius laughs through his tears as he reaches for Peters other hand.

The three of them are still laid like that in a circle holding hands, listening to David Bowie and
crying when Remus returns. He takes one look at the three boys, raises his eyebrow at them and
swiftly exits the room choosing to spend the rest of his night studying with Lily Evans instead. He
sits besides her, informing her of what he had walked in on and they sit laughing about it for a good
while.

Back upstairs once the high starts wearing off, Sirius sits up his chest racing in panic as he thinks
 back to his time with Emmeline. James sits up, his head spinning - weed never seemed to agree
with him. Peter stays laying, snoring his head off as he hugs his arms around his knees.

”Prongs?” Sirius asks quietly, glancing at him nervously.

”Yeah?”

Sirius swallows, “Erm.. what are the pregnancy prevention spells?”

James’ eyes widen, “Please tell me you’re fucking kidding. Tell me you fucking used them!”

”I err kind of never needed to.. before.”

”You fucking idiot.”

Chapter End Notes

Remus calling Reggie sweetheart They keep getting close and it is coming but
Remus is being a lil hesitant for obvious reason. Also this ain’t a pregnancy fic so dw!
We just gonna scare them a bit for fun xoxo

Also I need to take a break from updating every single day as I’ve been uploading
once a day since I started writing this and I have my job and college etc so I’m aiming
for the next update to be Thursday 8pm UK time so I can get ahead a bit as I’ve
literally been writing, editing then uploading in the same day and it’s not working
sorry!
 Chapter 14
Chapter Notes

TRIGGER WARNING
- Lil smut
- Mention of blood and violence (from fighting)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Sirius isn’t meaning to avoid Emmeline, truly he isn’t but whenever he sees her approaching he
gets into a state of panic and runs away, leaving poor James to excuse his abrupt departure with
some shit excuse. He avoids her in and between classes for two entire weeks and Emma figures
she’s been fucked and chucked. Resulting in evil daggers being sent across classrooms and in the
Great Hall at meal times. If anything that makes Sirius even more paranoid.

Remus is trying to get on with his ex, but Sirius isn’t making it easy. He’s jittery and nervous
around Remus, which makes it harder than necessary. Any polite small talk seems to fly over
Sirius’ head entirely as he withdraws completely, sometimes for days at a time but it isn’t Remus’
place to be concerned anymore and he has to remind himself of that whenever he finds himself
wanting to hold Sirius.

His place of concern lays with Regulus, who had spent the last two weeks slowly opening up and
trusting Remus with everything that had happened at home. It didn’t make Remus look at Sirius
any differently, all Remus saw were two scared teenagers who had been through hell since they
were kids. He wonders if Orion and Walburga are capable of love at all. Even when Remus had
been bitten, his Mum still loved him unconditionally and his Da tried his best. But for the Black
brothers it seemed like no matter what they would never be enough for their parents and never be
loved by them the way they deserved.

Sirius was lucky, he got the Potters and James. Regulus was still trapped in that house, he would
still be going home to them when the school year ended and the thought made Remus feel ill. He
wished more than anything he had a place of his own, a place he could take and hide Reg safely.
Perhaps there was a way to do it, he just had to figure out how.

Remus and Regulus spend all of their spare time together in their special place. The old potions
teachers living quarters are perfect, it’s unknown to the marauders and it doesn’t appear on the
map. It was perfect for keeping their developing relationship low-key. They didn’t have to rely on
the tunnels and secret rooms the marauders knew of anymore. Sirius wouldn’t accidentally or
purposefully walk in on them.

It took a bit of time for the two of them to work things out, Remus had to train his brain to stop
finding the similarities between Reg and his brother. Once Regulus got the reassurance he needed,
he stopped wondering about the depths of Remus’ relationship with Sirius.

Their relationship was reaching the next step, Remus had been taking care of Reg and slowly
prepping him as necessary. The anticipation and lust was getting more and more intense between
them both, especially with the full moon around the corner. Reggie had noticed something was up
with his not boyfriend, he’d noticed the dark look in his eyes growing and growing with each day
and he knew it wouldn’t be long until Remus snapped and finally gave Reg what he wanted.

Reggie trusted Remus with every fibre of his being. He had never felt so safe with anyone else
before, not even his two best friends had ever made him feel as protected as Remus Lupin did. He
hated how vulnerable his growing feelings made him feel but he had no control on the direction
they were heading, he just hoped that Remus would be there to catch him when he fell.

Remus walks into the dormitory after spending his free period with Regulus in their special place to
a literal intervention of sorts. Sirius, James and Peter are all sat on their beds, just waiting for the
moment Remus returned. He eyes them all suspiciously, placing his arms consciously across his
stomach.

James clears his throat, “So..the full moon is this weekend-“

”Sorry but no.” Remus says immediately shaking his head,he looks at Sirius who appears
crestfallen. “I appreciate we’re trying to get along but no.”

“Moony needs me.” Sirius whispers hopelessly.

”Your brother needs you.” Remus snaps back.

James closes his eyes, it had all been going sort of well, they’d managed to avoid a single fight-
until now that is. Peter throws himself back on his bed with an exasperated sigh, James wonders if
it works and copies. He waits for the nonchalant feeling to come but it makes him twitchy, his
desires to step in between his two friends winning considerably.

”Just remember the truce.”

”He’s the one who was being immature!” Sirius snarls, “Bringing my fucking brother into it!”

“Just giving you a few home truths!” Remus mutters, rolling his eyes.

Sirius’ eye brow raises in offence, “Meaning?!”

”You’re always walking away from the people who need you the most!”

Sirius blinks and turns to James, “You fucking told him!?”

”I didn’t tell him shit!” James retorts with annoyance.

“What do you mean by that then?” Sirius asks his eyes blazing with paranoia as he turns back to
Remus.

Remus looks between James and Sirius as he pulls a face, “I meant you walked away from
Regulus..and me.”

”I never walked away from you! Merlin Moony! You left me!”

“What the fucking hell have I missed?” Remus asks, noticing the way James keeps nervously bites
at his bottom lip.

”You don’t want to know.” Sirius mumbles, looking away guiltily.

Remus looks panicked, “What did you do now?”

”Remus-“ James attempts to warn him, tries to stop it from escalating but the fire has already been
lit.

”What do you mean what have I done now?!” Sirius hisses his eyes wild with anger.

Remus scoffs in annoyance, “You think Reg hasn’t told me about what really happened?”

”Oh! So you believe him over me now is that it?” Sirius nods, letting out a threatening low laugh,
“Right so being friends for six years and boyfriends for two doesn’t count for anything when the
younger brother comes along! Got it!”

”Six years of friendship and two years of dating stopped counting when you betrayed me.” Remus
snaps back, “All the trust was gone from the fucking second you opened your mouth to tell Severus
my secret.”

Sirius looks downcast as his bottom lip trembles a little. He looks toward James with a devastating
look in his eyes, then turns back to Remus. He takes a deep breath, his feet dragging on the floor as
he looks down at them.

”I’m sorry.” He says truthfully, “You’re right. I betray people and I walk away when they need me
the most because I am a fucking coward-“

”I didn’t say that.” Remus interrupts, “I don’t think you’re a coward. After everything you went
through growing up, no one ever has the right to call you a coward.”

Sirius shakes his head as he looks up at the light above them, “I am the kind of coward who walks
away from his own child.”

Remus feels the wind get knocked from right out of him, he actually staggers backwards from the
shock of Sirius’ words. He stares at his ex, his hand slowly covering his mouth as his heart
plummets violently as nausea washes over him.

”W-what?” He manages to ask after a beat of silence.

”I don’t know how to be a Dad. No one ever showed me how.. so I walked away. I’ve just been
avoiding her like it’s not happening but the looks she gives me.” Sirius just falls to the floor as he
lets out a guttural sob, “I am the worst kind of coward.”

Remus stumbles towards the bathroom, it feels like he’s had far too much alcohol the way his head
pounds and his ears ring. Sirius was going to be a Dad? Remus had wondered why him and Emma
we’re so distant recently. He was curious as to why the entire thing had been called off, part of him
hoping it was because Sirius couldn’t move on from him.

He remembers Regulus in that moment and guilt drowns his thoughts but he and Sirius had planned
their entire lives together. They were going to get married, adopted two children and a dog.. now
Sirius was having a child of his own. It felt as if whenever Remus was getting somewhere in
healing, there was a spanner in the works to reveal some more pain he didn’t know possible. It was
like someone up above was testing his ability to cope in scenarios he couldn’t handle.

”I told you, James.” Sirius whispers, his voice cracking, “I told you he would hate me even more
than he already does.”

”He doesn’t hate you.” James says softly, “He’s just shocked is all.”

Remus wants to cry. He wants to throw up. He wants to smash the bathroom to smithereens. He
does hate Sirius Black. He hates him. He hates him. He hates him. But oh how he loves him. He
loves him. He loves him. He plasters on a brave face, regardless of their history and regardless of
the betrayal, Remus knew how best to handle this. He walks out of the bathroom, James kneeling
besides Sirius as he rocks back and fourth hyperventilating. Peter is sat upon his bed, staring
between his three friends in shock.

”You know how to be a Da.” Remus says eventually, making Sirius look up at him with an
unamused expression, “You know exactly what not to do. They might not have treated you right
but that means you will be more determined for your own children to feel safe and loved.”

Sirius sniffles as he looks at Remus, they had discussed this in depth once upon a time. They spoke
about the future, about how they’d marry and adopt kids (if the laws changed) and if they didn’t,
they’d do it illegally somehow. Nothing was going to stop them from being happy together. Sirius
had been scared to death when Remus mentioned children, but after talking it out- he realised he
would love to have children with his Moony. He couldn’t think of anything more lovely.

It wasn’t the same. This baby would be with Emmeline, but Remus’ faith in his ability to be a good
Father hadn’t wavered. Despite the betrayal and the break up, Remus still saw good in Sirius. He
still believed in Sirius. That was all the motivation Sirius needed, he stands to his feet and brushes
himself down. He wipes his tears away, checking his eyeliner in the mirror and bids his friends
goodbye.

“Padfoot is going to be a Dad?” Peter blurts out the second the door shuts.

”Yeah.” James confirms with a small smile.

”He’ll be brilliant.” Remus adds kindly, before busying himself by straightening out his bedpost
curtains.

He prays it isn’t obvious just how much his heart is hurting.

Sirius returns to the dormitory an hour later, his hands filled with books about parenting from the
library. Remus raises his eyebrows as James stifles a laugh and Peter stares wide eyed- still not
fully believing his friends. Pete wouldn’t be surprised if it was some sort of elaborate prank on
him, a nod to the marauders getting back together again.

”Don’t think I have ever seen you willingly read.” Remus comments, looking up from his own
book.

”Yeah well, I need to prove myself to Emma don’t I?” Sirius asks, dropping the books onto his
bed, “I have to prove myself to the baby. I’m going to be the best bleedin’ Dad in the world.”

Remus watches as Sirius picks up a book and starts reading, his forehead creasing and his tongue
poking out in concentration. James continues polishing his broomstick, keeping a close eye on
Sirius as usual. Peter is writing his own herbology essay and Remus is enjoying a book that
Regulus had recommended. They had never been more at peace with each other.

The closer then days get to the full moon, the more irritated Remus is becoming and not because
he’s horny. In fact, he hadn’t experienced that side affect at all since learning about Emmeline
being pregnant. He’s trying to keep it together but he’s snappier than usual. When he’s with
Regulus, it all seems to melt away as they talk, snuggle and kiss. Remus can tell that Reg is
wanting more, he can smell the arousal coming from the younger Black brother. But Remus isn’t in
the mood for anything but snuggling in bed.

His mental health had definitely seen much better and brighter days. Since discovering baby
Padfoot was a thing, Remus had been feeling more and more low each day. It annoyed him that if
Sirius never hurt him then it would have been them in the future having a child, not Sirius
becoming a teenage Dad because he forgot a pregnancy prevention charm.

”What’s wrong?” Reg worries, pulling himself away from Remus, “ Don’t lie and say nothing
again because I can’t bare it when you lie to me.”

”Don’t worry yourself, Sweetheart.” Remus smiles, brushing his fingers through his hair.

Regulus rolls his eyes, “It’s too late I’m already worried.”

Remus sits up and lets out a loud sigh, “If I tell you, do you promise not to say a word?”

He was awaiting for Sirius to tell Regulus but he knew it was unlikely and he didn’t want Reg to
find out from rumours or friends asking if it were true. Sooner or later Emma would pop out and
she would have a bump.. Remus shudders at the thought, desperately trying to hide his heartache.

”Promise.” Reg says holding his pinky out to Remus, who accepts with a gentle laugh.

”Errr well.” Remus swallows uncomfortably, “Your brother is going to be a Dad.”

Regulus blinks in surprise, his mouth hung open, “He what? I thought he was gay? I thought he
was killing the Black family line?!”

”He is bisexual.” Remus clarifies, “He didn’t get her pregnant on purpose, it just happened.”

”Obviously. He’s only seventeen! Oh god..what an idiot!” Reg stresses, “I need to speak to him.”

Remus’ let’s out a strained noise, “You promised you wouldn’t say anything!”

”He’s my brother- that makes me the Uncle.” Reg points out, “The baby will show up on the
family tapestry and if the parents see it-“ He pauses glancing at Remus anxiously, “They will kill
the baby.”

Remus’ jaw hangs open, “What? Why?”

”Because that’s what they do.” Reggie mumbles quietly, “They make us miserable and if Sirius is
happy at all..they’ll take that away from him. I want him to be happy.”

Reggie turns to look at Remus, he can see the grief in his eyes as best as Remus tries to hide it. Reg
has the overwhelming urge to protect Remus from harm but he can’t because it’s Sirius causing
him pain. He swallows anxiously as he plants a kiss to the side of Remus face, he watches as he
visibly relaxes and smiles softly. Remus turns and nuzzles his head into Reggie’s neck, Reg runs
his fingers through Remus’ soft brown curls and kisses him again.

He pulls Remus’ hair, forcing the boy to look up at him and surges forward to his mouth like a
bullet.Reg broke the kiss, looking at Remus with such want, he rolled his hips down toward
Remus and he let out small moan of pleasure. Remus grabbed hold of his arms, slamming him
down onto the bed and petering soft kisses down his neck and along his jaw. His eyes dark brown
with desire as he Reg rolls his hips beneath him. The full moon was the following day and despite
all the drama Remus was suddenly ravenous.

”You’re so pretty.” Remus murmurs, “So so pretty sweetheart.”

”Shut up.” Snorts Regulus blushing as Remus dips down kissing his face all over.
”I want to make you feel good.” Remus whispers, “Can I make you feel good?”

”You always do Remus.”

Remus let’s out a desperate moan, “No I want to.. I’m ready.”

Something dark flashes across Reggie’s face, a sly smirk spreading across his lips, he had been
waiting for this moment. He had never been more ready for anything in all his life. Remus removes
his shirt, Regulus strokes the scars across his chest mesmerised by the way they glint across his
chest. Reg moans as Remus grabs a hold of his hips to stop them from moving, his cock twitching
desperately in his trousers.

Reg sits up a little to tug his own shirt off, Remus’ tongue pokes out the corner of his mouth as his
eyes scan Reggie’s hot body. He starts kissing the Slytherin hungrily, his mind blinded with
arousal. Regulus reaches forward, unbuckling Remus’ belt as Remus hums in pleasure, his own
cock aching his trousers. Reggie’s hand disappears down his pants, tugging at Remus’ dick,
melting at the size of him against his palm.

”I’m going to take them off now, Sweetheart.” Remus warns, stepping back.

They lock eyes as Remus slowly removes his clothes, standing before Regulus in all his glory.
Regulus not so subtly checks him out, admiring Remus’ faint abs and the gigantic penis standing
before him. Reggie’s eyes widen a little, he’d seen Remus’ cock plenty of times. He had gagged
and choked on him plenty of times.. but how on earth was it going to fit elsewhere?

”Don’t be nervous sweetheart.”Remus whisper, towering back over him again, “I’ll take such good
care of you.”

“Fuck me,Remus.”

Sirius tosses the ring box between his hands, he had skived Gryffindor quidditch team tryouts, his
focus elsewhere. If he was going to be a Dad, he needed to be a good one. He had to get over him.
He had to forget all about Remus Lupin and this baby was a good place to start. He needed to be
needed and well, what would need him more than his son or daughter?

Within a few minutes, he’s made a decision. He puts the ring in his pocket and focuses on finding
Emmeline Vance.

Regulus moans loudly, his back arching in pleasure as Remus continues burying himself inside his
tight hole. It hurts and it burns but it feels so good. Remus holds Reggie’s hips as he buries himself
deep within, fucking him hard as he lets out all the frustration that had been building up. Reg cums
first with a wail of pleasure, Remus pushes in then out twice before following suit. Seeing stars
behind his closed eyes as they collapse together on to the bed, sweating and panting.

Remus wraps his arms around Reg, kissing the top of his curls as they both relax and come back
down from the high. Remus can hear Regulus’ heart thumping in his chest, nerves flipping in both
of their stomachs. They’d done it. Regulus had entered that room with his virginity and was leaving
without it.

Eventually, the two men know they have to go their separate ways. They steal long lingering
kisses, gently pulling their hands away as they head to their separate dormitories. Remus has a
spring in his step, his hair is stuck up in all directions from where Regulus had been pulling at it
and he has new lovebites, deep and painful from where Reg had lost his way a little.

As he enters the Gryffindor common room, he walks straight into the backs of Peter and James
who are stood idly in the entryway. Remus gives them both a small shove, James stepping aside
absently and Remus slips by, seeing the crowd of students and Sirius Black standing on the table
before Emmeline.

”What are you talking about?”Emma asks with confusion.

”I’m doing the right thing. I know we’re only seventeen but fuck it!” Sirius announces, he starts
lowering himself on one knee.

Remus’ heart drops as Sirius holds the engagement ring towards her, his engagement ring. The one
Sirius had made for specially for him. There’s collective gasps around the room. James drops his
broomstick with a loud clatter, his face white as he starts shaking his head horrified.

”Em I know we’re young and I know we were so bloody daft not doing the right protective spells
but I’m ready.” Sirius says holding the ring towards her, “We can be a family.” He looks pointedly
at her stomach, “The three of us.”

Emmeline lifts her hand, a loud slap echoing across the common room, “I am not pregnant you
stupid man.”

Sirius breathes out a sigh of relief then laughs hopelessly, standing to his feet, “Well that’s great
news. Congratulations on not being pregnant!”

Sirius jumps down off the table, bouncing up stairs to the dormitory as the fellow students in the
common room stare after him. James groans, collecting his broomstick up off the floor and looks
at the other two pointedly.

”We leave him alone for five minutes and he pops the question?” James sighs, “Honestly.”

Remus looks at James, “So you’ve both been spouting shit about a baby that doesn’t exist?”

”In my defence I don’t know how it all works!” James mutters as they start up the stairs, “He just
told me he hadn’t used pregnancy prevention and he freaked so I freaked..”

”Idiots.” Remus mutters, shaking his head and feeling awful for the relief that comes over him.

When they enter the dormitory, Sirius lay on his bed silently. James chucks his broom on his own
bed, before climbing onto Sirius’ and laying besides his best friend.

”That was embarrassing.” James smirks, giving him a nudge.

Sirius cringes, covering his face with his hands, “I will never live that down.”

”Nope.” Pete smirks, popping the ‘p’, “What were you thinking?”

”I wasn’t.” Sirius admits sheepishly, “I just.. the idea came to me and then..it seemed like a good
idea, so I just did it.”

Remus cocks his eyebrow, deciding he’s heard enough and disappears into the bathroom. He side
eyes Sirius in amusement as he and James talk about his disastrous proposal. Once the door clicks,
he looks in the mirror at his appearance. He feels quiet ill at the relief he felt for not having to
witness something else that would cause sadness in his heart.

”Did you see Moony?” Sirius whispers lowly, “He’s had sex.”

”Bloody hell Padfoot!” James groans, his tone picking up curiously, “How can you tell?”
”His hair, his lips, the flush of his skin..”Sirius mumbles, “You know when Emma slapped me?”

James snorts, “Yeah it was a great slap.”

”I was relieved.” Sirius admits ignoring James’ comment, “The first thing I thought was I can get
Moony back now.. but then I laid eyes on him and.. well it’s written all over his face-“

”You just keep trying to move on, Pads.” James whispers encouragingly, “You will get there
eventually.”

Remus presses his lips together as he listens carefully to their conversation. Sirius was still in love
with him and Remus still loved him too. It didn’t matter how much he liked Regulus or how much
he was starting to depend on him or love him.. he still had deep rooted love for the elder Black
brother.

On the day of the full moon, Remus felt as if he had been hit by the night bus. His head was
pounding and ears ringing as he struggled to sit up. James was helping him within a moment as
Sirius watched awkwardly from James’ bed (where he had spent the night being big spoon for a
change.). Peter was present but he carried on getting changed, giving Remus space. There was a
mutual understanding amongst the group that Sirius would help Remus and the other two wouldn’t
crowd or coddle him but since they split it became James. Naturally Sirius hung close by, always
watching protectively but Pete kept to his role and Remus was grateful. He hated feeling like a
charity case.

”What do you need?” James asks him supportively.

”Pomfrey.”

Sirius is on his feet once he hears that, with a quick spell he’s managed to dress all four of them.
Remus was extremely impressed with his ability to have done something like that. Sirius was a
master at charms and potions, even if he always felt the need to put himself down and not try in
class, things like this proved he was a very powerful wizard. He was motivated by love. Remus has
to stifle a nervous laugh at the impatience and worry in Sirius’ posture.

”It’s a good thing.” He says putting Sirius out of his misery, “She got aconite.”

”Aconite?” Sirius asks dumbfounded.

Peter lights up like firework, jumping excitedly, “Oh Merlin! This is great! Oh wow! Remus this
is- wow!”

”What? Can someone fill me in?” Sirius asks a hint of annoyance in his voice.

”Aconite, it’s wolfsbane.” Remus supplied with a sparkle in his eyes, “It should repel the wolf.”

Sirius mouth hangs open as James claps Remus on the back, “I’m happy for you mate!” James
beams.

It almost felt like before, the three of Remus’ best friends being there and supporting him. They all
flew to the hospital wing, the three marauders being forced to wait outside of where Madame
Pomfrey handed him the aconite. He took the flower gratefully, putting it in his mouth and chewed.

It was disgusting. It was by far the worst thing Remus had ever had in his mouth. The taste made
his eyes water, his throat drying in protest as he attempted not to heave. He grabbed an empty cup,
filling it with water as he forced himself to swallow. He coughed a little, Madame Pomfrey offering
him a small uncertain smile.

”Go time.” He manages to say, praying to god that some of the pain would subside for the
transformation later.

At the shrieking shack that night, Remus waited anxiously with James and Peter for the
transformation to begin. Sirius had respected Remus’ choice and stayed away, trying to keep
himself busy and trying not to think about Remus in the shack. Remus sort of regrets not inviting
Sirius along, it was still odd without him there. It always felt like something was missing and it
was, the presence without Sirius was just as loud as when he were there.

As Remus lays on the sofa, shuddering with pain, he makes a decision in his head that next full
moon Padfoot can come along. They had gotten on so well all day it seemed and Remus was
hopeful they would remain that way. Just two friends learning to trust one another again. Finally,
the full moon rises in the sky and Remus let’s out an earth shattering scream as his spine breaks to
accommodate his new posture.

James nervously glances at Peter, both transforming into their animal forms. If the aconite
worked.. then Remus should still be Remus once he transformed. A deafening howl rings out,
making Wormtail shake fearfully. Prongs bows his head, ready to fight the wolf if necessary but
Moony stands on his hind legs and looks at Prongs. Straightaway, Prongs can tell from the gentle
look in Moony’s eyes that it’s his friend. He starts skidding on the floors excitedly, the aconite had
worked. Moony howls with excitement. Remus felt so free.

Transforming back into himself, James unlocks the shack door and grins at Moony before turning
back into Prongs. Moony steps aside, sniffing the cool night air before they break out into a run
towards the forest. Wormtail tucked between Prongs’ antlers as the two bigger animals race to the
hidden lake deep within the trees.

Sirius looks out of the window, staring up at the full moon and feels a horrible sadness in his chest.
He had tried so hard to make friends with Remus, he tried to ignore his feelings and pretend as if
Remus wasn’t dating his brother. He thought if he tried hard enough then he could tag along and
make a night of it like they always used to do. He should have known that it would take a lot more
to earn that privilege back but he wasn’t sure what else he could do.

Except forgive Regulus..

But Sirius wasn’t willing to plaster on a false smile and watch the two of them together. It was bad
enough hearing about it or just even thinking about it, just knowing they were together was plenty
enough pain on it’s own. It knocked him sick. The idea of forgiving Reg, offering him an olive
branch and starting to mend their relationship just to have him sit with them at meals and snog
Remus before his eyes- no. He wouldn’t bloody do it. Reg knew how much Remus meant to him.
He knew Sirius was in love with Remus because Sirius had told him over the years.

Moony, Prongs and Wormtail make it to the lake, the three of them take a swim. Wormtail
climbing higher on Prongs’ antlers so he didn’t get wet. They splash around, drink and Prongs
chortles as Moony howls.. it was almost like last time. They were just missing a certain hyperactive
shaggy black dog to run circles around them.

Moony shakes his fur coat as he gets out of the water. Remus is feeling the loss of Padfoot more
than previous months, he blames the aconite and the werewolves need for his alpha. His ears pick
up as he hears a shuffling sound amongst the bushes, he notices a brown rabbit and sniffs. Just as
he’s about to run off and hunt, another scent catches him off guard. He turns his head in the
opposite direction, standing to his hind legs as he tries to place it. He knew the forest like the back
of his hand, he knew the smells of every being, every plant and flower- this was different.

It was another wolf.

Prongs stands a little away from Remus as the wolf sniffs the air, he can smell it too. The werewolf
from last time was lingering about somewhere and James could sense the danger. He freezes on
the spot, terrified of what is going through Remus’ mind- he had yet to meet another like him.

Moony turns to face Prongs, fear in his eyes and James knows they have to get back to the shack.
Remus clearly has the same idea as they break through the forest trees, speeding dangerously
through the dirt. They don’t make it far. A large grey and white wolf stood before them, his yellow
teeth bared as he growled towards Remus. Blood dripped down the wolf’s face, a dead headless
centaur laid just behind him in a pool of fresh blood.James’ heart raced nervously in his chest,
Moony was impressive as a wolf and very big but this one.. he was a murdering machine.

Prongs side eyes Remus nervously, he notices the way Moony starts shaking his head, his eyes
clenched shut as if he were fighting some invisible force within. When he opens them, Prongs
instinctively takes a step back- this was no longer Remus Lupin. He feels Peter scurrying down his
back, hidden by the dark and his small size- James notices when Peter manages to sneak past both
wolves and prays he isn’t running away but going for help. He prays that Peter knows to get Sirius,
knows that they need Padfoot.

Moony growls back at the wolf, his own teeth bared and his face screwed up. Then the other wolf
launches right at him, burying his claws into Moony’s stomach. He lets out a whimpering yell of
pain, as he reaches forward with his own claws and scratches the wolfs eye, making the larger wolf
stagger back. Despite the blood oozing down Moony’s stomach, he takes his chance to run back
through the forest and the grey wolf follows.

Logically James knows not to follow, he's food to them. A stag. But he can’t just leave Remus to
fight that thing alone, who knew how long Padfoot and Wormtail would be? He glances over his
shoulder at the castle looming up ahead, then starts running after the fighting werewolves.

Peter makes it to the common room, he quickly changes into his human form and rushes up the
stairs, clutching his side as he pants violently. He throws the bedroom door open, gasping for air,
“Padfoot! We need Padfoot!”

Sirius stands up in the nude his eyes wide with panic as he starts searching for clothes. Peter blinks
at him then notices Emmeline covering herself up with the blankets. They had obviously made up
then. Sirius throws on a pair of grey joggers and a random striped tshirt- that was definitely James’.
Sirius drags Peter out of the dorm by his arm, pulling his tshirt on over his head as they went down
the stairs.

”What is it? What happened?”

”The other wolf!” Peter stresses, “It’s huge! He’s going to kill them both!”

Sirius transforms into a dog on the spot, Peter as a rat on his back and they run through the school.
They bump into the caretakers mangy old cat, that hisses at the dog as he zooms past. He had more
energy as dog but knowing Remus and James were in danger had amplified it, determination set
through his bones and as they reached the forest. He could sense it. Something was terribly wrong.

Padfoot sniffs the air, getting a mixture of many scents at once. He focuses on the one he knows,
on Remus but the smell of metallic blood takes over his nostrils. He starts running through the
trees, he comes across several dead animals and feels ill. They hadn’t been hunted for food, they
 had just been killed for fun. He tries to focus on James’ stag scent instead but panic takes over him.
He should have been there.

It’s Peter who takes charge, he jumps off Padfoots head and rushes forward, turning to encourage
Sirius to follow. He does. The fear drowning all logic, he hadn’t even thought to get a teacher until
he saw them up ahead.

Prongs laid on the floor, Moony bleeding and stumbling as the other wolf swipes at him again,
making Remus collapse to the floor. The sun starts rising, the wolf turns to face the black dog and
seeing red, Padfoot runs right towards him. He growls as the wolf notices and starts running
towards him, Padfoot jumps into the air and sinks in teeth into the werewolf’s shoulder. The wolf
howls as he shakes the dog off of him, Padfoot his throw back across the floor. A sickening crunch
as he lands funny on his back paw, the grey wolf calmly walks towards him, an evil glint in his
eyes as he circles the pup.

Suddenly, the wolf looks up as sticks hit his back, Padfoot is able to stand and once again sink his
teeth into the large canine. Peter hurries forward, another stick in his hand and throws it at the grey
wolfs head.

”LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE!” He yells, grabbing his wand and pointing it towards him,
“STUPEFY!”

The spell sends the wolf flying backwards, smacking into a tree trunk. He growls at a shaking and
terrified Peter, as he’s about to attack he looks up and notices the sun. He quickly turns and runs
away, not wanting anyone to see his human identity. Padfoot transforms back into Sirius, his leg
bent the wrong way. Sirius grips a hold of it, biting down on James’ shirt and pops it back into
place with a disgusting crack.

Peter gags “Why did you do that?”

”Practice.” Sirius shrugs, he’d done it before when his parents and hurt him.

Peter then rushes to James, falling to his knees and trying to wake him as Sirius drags himself over
to Remus who had transformed in the sun.There’s so much blood, Sirius isn’t sure where to begin.

“Oh no!” Peter states, the colour draining from his face, “He’s been bitten.”

”What?” Remus asks as he comes back around, trying to sit up but collapsing back down with pain,
“What did I do? Sirius? Who did I bite?!”

But Sirius can’t speak.

Chapter End Notes

Peter showing he’s a true Gryffindor ❤️

Unrelated but I got a werewolf build a bear yesterday called Moony and now I have
the urge to collect all the marauders

Aiming to update on Sunday before 9pm UK Time

PS you’re gonna hate the next update bc it hurts already and I only just started writing
it lol
 Chapter 15
Chapter Notes

Trigger Warnings:
-mentions of depression/feeling low
-brief mention of suicidal thoughts

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Remus passes out again as his blood pools around his body. Sirius had seen many bad full moons
but the attack had left Remus in the worst state yet. James too. Sirius couldn’t bare to look at his
best friend, his brother. If he hadn’t fucked up, he would have been there and none of this would
have ever happened. Sirius isn’t sure how they got to the hospital wing, Peter supporting Sirius on
his messed up leg whilst using a hovering spell for their unconscious other two friends. Sirius can’t
bare to look at where James had been bitten. The guilt is too much.

The worst part is that they weren’t there when James got bit. They don’t know if it was Moony or
the other guy, it’s safe to assume it was the other wolf because he intended to cause harm. But
Remus had turned to Moony according to Pete, the aconite stopped working the minute he came
face to face with the other wolf. His wolfy instincts kicking in to protect his pack maybe, either
way he was not Remus and Moony was unpredictable. Sirius knew in his heart it was the other
wolf, but he couldn’t shake the fear of what if.

Madame Pomfrey gets to work right away, fussing over the injured boys. She uses a mixture of
charms and potions to take away pain and aches, she gives Remus a sleeping spell too. She gives
Sirius a potion for his leg, meaning he is able to stand an hour later and it doesn’t hurt at all. It’s as
if it had never happened but one look at James and Remus- it’s obvious that it did.

He isn’t sure who to sit by. Remus is his very injured ex boyfriend and James is his very injured
best friend. Peter seems to sense the turmoil, choosing to sit besides James. Peter can’t stop
looking at where the teeth marks are; they’re red and raised against James’ dark skin. Remus would
have to teach James everything he knew. That’s if James didn’t get expelled for being a werewolf,
it was pretty obvious that Remus was the exception. Sirius wonders if both of them will be expelled
now this happened.

After resting their eyes for what felt like a few short minutes, the hospital wing door flies open and
their headteacher walks in clearing his throat. He takes a long painful look towards Remus’
unconscious body, then glances sympathetically at James’ sleeping one. It was obvious James was
sleeping now due to the snores filling the wing, Sirius had missed when he woke up to be dozed
with healing and pain potions.

”Mr Black. Mr Pettigrew.” He says calmly, “Please follow me. I think we need have a chat and
perhaps a biscuit!”

”Oh yes please!” Peter delights at being offered snacks.

Sirius blinks at the old man, “Now?”

”No time better than the present,Mr Black.” He smiles, his eyes glinting behind his half-moon
spectacles.

Peter and Sirius walk timidly behind the headmaster, they hadn’t any time to prepare any elaborate
story or lie to explain how or why this had taken place. There was something shifty about Professor
Dumbledore, something that made Sirius feel incredibly uneasy. It was almost like he knew.

”Lemon Sherbet.” Dumbledore says to the giant gargoyle when they finally reach the seventh floor
of the castle.

The two friends follow behind Dumbledore as the gargoyle turns and unveils a hidden staircase.
They had been in here plenty of times over the last six years but nothing to the extent of
this..except the prank but Sirius had pushed the memory so far back that he couldn’t quite
remember how it went down.

“Biscuit boys?” Dumbledore offers holding out a small plate towering with ginger snaps as he
takes his seat.

Peter takes one eagerly as Sirius declines. He wishes the old man would get on with it so he could
return to his friends on the fourth floor.

Seeming to sense Sirius’ urgency, Dumbledore smiled at him, “What happened last night was a
tragic accident. What I am struggling to understand is how you found Mr Lupin and Mr Potter?
Especially so far away from Hogwarts grounds..”

Sirius stiffens, his grey eyes meeting his headteachers sparkling blue ones, “We knew they were in
danger, so we didn’t stop looking until we found them.”

”They?” Dumbledore asks with a tone of surprise, “I was under the impression Mr Lupin was
responsible for biting Mr Potter?”

”No sir.” Sirius says quickly, “There was another werewolf on the grounds.”

Dumbledore presses his lips together, “Ah. This is what I feared. The aconite didn’t work?”

”It did!” Peter says spraying biscuit crumbs across the desk, “It did! Until the other werewolf
turned up!”

”Ah.” Dumbledore stands to his feet and starts pacing, “The werewolf in question, I believe his
name is Fenrir Greyback. Is that name familiar to either of you?”

Sirius heart sinks as he slowly nods his head. Fenrir Greyback had been the one to change Remus
Lupin from boy to werewolf when he was just five years old. He seemed to target children, a way
to groom them and raise his army to be vicious but he left Remus alone. A revenge plot on Lyall
Lupin. Lyall had worked with the ministry in the regulation and control of magical creatures
department. He had met and insulted Fenrir Greyback who had been taken in for questioning about
murdering two children. Fenrir was the reason Remus was Moony and it was Lyall’s fault.

”The reason the aconite stopped working is because Fenrir Greyback is Remus Lupins alpha.”
Dumbledore explains grimly, “Remus will always listen to his alpha above any other.”

Sirius’ eyebrows furrow together, “B-but I thought other alphas could take over?”

He had thought that he was Moony’s alpha. He had good control of the wolf and was able to defeat
Moony once and get him to come back to Remus mentally. Surely that made him the alpha?

”Indeed. If they fight and defeat the original alpha.” Dumbledore says solemnly, “I feel this is a
time of great darkness, a time in which friends need their friends and.. family needs family.”

Dumbledore looks pointedly at Sirius as he says that last line. Sirius wondered why the old man
always spoke in riddles instead of getting straight to the point! All his riddle had left him was
concern for Remus and James.. admittedly a little concern for his ex brother too.

Once they are both dismissed, Peter helping himself to a few more biscuits with Dumbledores
permission, they go back to Gryffindor tower. Lingering outside of the fat lady’s portrait, stands
Regulus Black looking very out of place in his Slytherin robes. Reg glances up hopefully, the
excitement dying in his eyes as he sees his older brother and Peter Pettigrew. He steps forwards,
opening his mouth but closes it hesitantly, a lump forming in his throat as he tries to talk to his
older brother, a fear of rejection or an outburst buying his silence.

Sirius sees the way Reggie’s eyebrows furrow in concern, the way his fingers anxiously tug at his
sleeves and he can’t bare it. Sirius’ biggest weakness had always been protecting Reg from harm.
He tries to ignore the feeling as he follows Peter through the door, but he turns and stumbles back
out, standing before the brother he had disowned.

”You looking for Remus?” Sirius asks quietly, he had wanted to make a joke about Reg looking
for his boyfriend but backed out, not wanting to hurt his own feelings.

Reg shakes his head, “No.. I was looking for.. you.”

“Me?” Sirius asks with an arched brow, “Why me?”

”Umm don’t get mad at him but Remus let slip about the baby-“

”Oh fuck!” Sirius snorts through his nose, letting his laughter ring out, “No baby! Just a scare!”

Reg sighs in relief, “Fucking hell! Remus could have updated me! I’ve been going out of my mind
with worry.”

Sirius stares at his brother, who is just a few short inches taller than him so he has to look up a little
to catch his eyes. He can’t help but notice the way he is glowing at the mention of Remus’ name.
He knows time will keep moving forward whether he is ready to see his ex and his brother together
or not. Time will continue forward with or without his brother in his life. Time will always keep
moving, it doesn’t wait for anyone.

”I’m sorry.” Sirius says eventually filling the silence, “I’m sorry for how I treated you and I’m
sorry..” He swallows a lump in his throat, unable to look at his brother any longer, “For leaving
you..behind.”

Reg blinks in surprise, “Oh..well..thanks. I’m sorry for.. everything.” Reg rubs his lips together and
sighs, “Especially for falling in love with your ex. I never intended to.”

“You’re.. in love..with him?” Sirius asks, his voice cracking ever so slightly.

”Yeah.” Reggie nods, trying to hide the smile that flashes across his face, “Yeah..I think I am.”

Sirius thinks of Remus laid in the hospital bed all alone and injured. He thinks of the moment he
comes back around, looking for Sirius as he always did.. but this time, he wouldn’t be looking for
him at all. He wouldn’t want Sirius. He would want Regulus. Sirius could do one thing right by
Remus, he could make sure Reggie was there. Whatever made Moony happiest.

”He’s..he’s in the hospital wing.” Sirius mumbles, flexing his fingers nervously, “I don’t know
what you know about.. his..illness? But..yeah.”

“His chronic illness?” Reg asks with a raised brow, “We haven’t really talked about it.. I think he’s
embarrassed by it.”

”Yeah he is.. embarrassed by it I mean.”

Anger flickers across Reggie’s face but he does well to cool it before Sirius realises, “So you know
about it?”

Sirius nods, “Only because we were friends first.. he told us all together.”

”Lovely.” Reg says clicking his tongue, “I’m going to go see him.”

”They’re closed for the night.” Sirius explains hurriedly, “Madame Pomfrey won’t allow it.”

Reg snorts, “When have you ever been one for following the rules?” He starts walking away then
looks over his shoulder and smiles kindly, “Thanks for telling me.”

Sirius watches as Regulus disappears down the stairs a heavy feeling inside of his chest that hurts a
little then settles. Sirius wonders if that’s what healing feels like, if he’s finally taking steps in the
right direction to be happy again. If he’s actually capable of moving on from the man he’d always
believed was his soulmate.

Regulus sneaks into the hospital wing, he peers at the beds- noticing that James Potter is also in the
wing. He doesn’t know why nor does he care because in that moment, all he is concerned about is
his beautiful..not boyfriend. He approaches the other bed cautiously, he looks down at Remus’
unconscious pale body and frowns. He has new fresh scars across his already scarred face and Reg
doesn’t understand. What sort of illness caused something like that?

He leans forward, tenderly brushing the curls of Remus’ fringe out of his face and sighs. Why
wouldn’t Remus talk to him about whatever illness he had? Reg could try and make it better.
Instinctively he turns to the bedside table, noticing a variety of different potion vials and bottles.
He picked them up curiously, admiring their colours and the labels on the back.

One ingredient stuck out to him amongst the others- dittany. It was in the salve- presumably for his
scars. It was inside two of the other potions as well. Dittany was a very powerful healing plant- it
was used in potions and healing magic all the time. What made dittany so special was it’s ability to
heal magically induced wounds..which possibly meant whatever Remus was ill with was related to
magic. Potentially dark magic like a blood curse.

Remus starts stirring gently in his sleep, Reg places the potions down and reaches out his hand to
soothe the side of Remus’ pale clammy face. He relaxes at the touch, his face falling into Reggie’s
palm. His lips start moving silently, his forehead frowning as he tries to talk.

”It’s okay, Remus.” Regulus assures softly, “Don’t talk yet, just rest.”

Remus starts stirring again, his voice barely a whisper, “S-Sirius?”

Reg recoils slightly, keeping his hand on Remus soft cheek as his heart begins to quicken. He
notices the scatter of freckles on his skin, silently counting them in his head to calm the his heart
race as the panic sets in.
”Sirius?” Remus asks again weakly.

Regulus swallows as the air is snatched from his lungs, “Y-yeah. I-I’m right here Remus.”

”I love you.” Remus whispers as his voice strains, “I love you so much Padfoot.”

Reggie’s hand loosens a little as his heart cracks inside his chest. He sniffles as he tries to fight the
tears that build in his eyes. Of course Remus wanted his brother right now and not him. Of fucking
course he would. Everyone always wanted Sirius more than they ever wanted Regulus. He was so
sick of it, but he loved Remus, he really did. It was just like with his parents, the heir and the spare.
It wasn’t until Sirius left that his parents started paying attention to him properly.

Reg hears the door open behind him but ignores it, leaning down and kissing Remus’ forehead as
he sleeps- no longer whispering disoriented and asking for Reggie’s big brother. Tears softly fall
from Reggie’s eyes and landing on Remus’ sandy brown curls as he closes his eyes, feeling his
skin against his lips.

”I love you.” He mutters, stroking his hair.

”So you’re both..serious.. about each other then?” Sirius asks startling Reg.

He looks at his older brother, who’s lingering by the foot of James’ bed, his eyes looking around
between both of them. Reg sits back in the chair by Remus’ bed, still staring at Sirius, a million
questions running through his mind. Questions about Remus’ illness, about the extent of Sirius and
Remus’ relationship and then he saw the way Sirius reached for James, hesitant and fearful as he
brushed his sleeve up and stared at a bloodied bandaged on his arm.

”What happened to Potter?” Reg asks changing the subject subtly.

Sirius shrugs, “He got attacked in the forbidden forest.” He answers truthfully, “He..”

Regulus looks down at Remus’ injuries then turns to his brother again, “Remus was there wasn’t
he? His cuts.. they’re nothing to do with his illness.. are they?”

”He saved James’ life.”

”But?”

Sirius hesitates, taking his best friends hand and tightly squeezing it, “I think you need to speak to
Remus.. when he wakes.”

“I will.” Reg says somewhat defensively.

If Sirius notices he doesn’t say anything as he stares at his best friend. Now that Regulus was with
Remus, he had to face James and figure out how to fix it. How to help James through it, Remus
was already a werewolf when they met but James had always just been James. He was always
happy and joking around, he was the glue that held the friends together but this could be the thing
that breaks him. It scared Sirius because he had never seen James break before.

Sirius is at the hospital wing every single day waiting for James and Remus to awake. Across from
where he’s sat with James, Regulus is sat with Remus holding his hand and reading quietly to him.
Both of them unconscious but alive. Three days later when Sirius arrives, James is sat up and
awake. He instinctively looks across to Remus who is still sleeping with Reg by his side. Sirius
hides his frown, smiling widely as he turns back to James. He flings his arms around him tightly,
making him wince slightly.
”My sunshine!” Sirius grins, ruffling James’ greasy hair, he grimaces taking his hand away,
“Taking hygiene tips from Snivellus?”

James just stares at Sirius with a sad look upon his face, Sirius immediately stops smiling and sits
on the bed next to him.

”You’re okay, Prongsie.” Sirius says softly, “We will get you back to-“

”I’m one of them.. aren’t I?” James whispers, his eyes glistening with tears as he looks away from
his concerned friend.

Sirius’ shoulders sink lower, he twiddles his thumbs together nervously as he takes a sharp inhale,
“Y-yeah..I think so.”

“It wasn’t Remus.” James says hurriedly, realising that he’d been out for a few days and didn’t
want the blame to be pointed at the wrong person. He didn’t want anyone to ever blame Remus for
this. “It was the other guy..Remus saved me. I’d be dead if it wasn’t for him.” James pauses
momentarily taking a shuddering deep breath, “I think I’d have preferred that actually.”

“No.” Sirius states strongly, “No you wouldn’t because you’d be leaving us all behind.”

“I’m so scared, Sirius.”

“Me too.” He admits, “But if Moony can do it then so can you. I’ll be there.” He promises, “I
won’t leave. I don’t care what Remus says I’ll be there for you Jamsie. I won’t leave you, not
again.”

James’ head snaps up directly towards Sirius at the last words, “It isn’t your fault,Pads.”

Sirius finds that very hard to believe.

Remus awakens just one day after James in the middle of the night. Memories flash in his mind, all
of them getting muddled together as he tries to focus. He strains to his bedside table, trying to reach
the empty cup but it clatters to the floor as he knocks it. He swears under his breath, his mouth dry
and desperate for water.

”Moony? That you?”

James appears like an angel in the night, bending down and picking up the cup with a soft gasp of
pain. He uses his wand to fill the cup with water, helping a fragile Remus take slow needy sips.

”What are you doing in here?” Remus asks hoarsely, looking James up and down for any obvious
injuries.

James presses his lips together and looks down at his bare feet, avoiding Remus’ gaze. He didn’t
want to lie to him but he also didn’t want to tell Remus when he’d only just woken up. He needed
Padfoot to help him soften the blow because the only person who could possibly take this news
worse that James- was Remus himself. And even though Sirius was struggling to come to terms
with it, he was sure to crack jokes and try and lessen the heaviness of the topic. It wasn’t always
the best way and Remus might get pissed about it but it always worked in making difficult things
easier.

“James?” Remus bites his lip, his eyes scanning James’ for answers and he feels it in his chest,
something is wrong.
He notices a bandage hanging out from underneath his pyjama shirt. He reaches out his hand,
pulling James closer and lifts up the sleeve. His eyebrows shoot up, his jaw slack as panic starts
simmering within.

”I bit you?” Remus asks, his eyes wide and terrified.

”No! God no!” James splutters out, “You didn’t bite me.”

Remus exhales in relief, “Thank god! No one needs to become a fucking werewolf every month.”
He sighs with exhaustion, “I’m convinced they’re getting worse.. everything just goes to shit, I
don’t remember anything and I don’t even know how long I’ve been out for.”

James swallows harshly, pushing his glasses into place and whispers, “It’s been five days. You’ve
been out for five days.”

Remus notices the shift in James’ poise and mannerism, he seems nervous and on edge but Remus
can’t put his finger on why. He eyes James suspiciously, something was definitely wrong.

”Your boyfriend has been every single day.” James says to fill the silence, “He’s been really
worried actually..”

Remus blinks in surprise, “My boyfriend? You mean Reggie? He’s not..” Remus breaks off, “He’s
been here every day?”

James nods, “First thing in the morning, during breaks and after school, in the evenings.. he’s been
reading to you and waiting for you to awaken.” James smiles weakly, “He really loves you.”

”Yeah?” Remus asks swallowing, “You sure about that?”

”Yeah.” James whispers, “Pads has seen it too, he’s the one who told him you were in the hospital
wing, I think they’re finally getting along a little.”

Remus closes his eyes, a small smile tugging at his mouth. He was so happy that the two brothers
were speaking, both of them had expressed wanting to speak to the other several times. He was
relieved actually that his new relationship with Reg, hadn’t had a long lasting affect on the two
brothers. They both deserved closure from whatever storm laid inside the Black family home.

When Remus woke in the morning, it was to Reggie sat at his bedside and reading a book about
different magical beasts. Remus sat and stares at him, the sun creating a glow around him as he
read lowly, blinking and shaking his head whenever his curls fell in his eyes. He could sit and stare
all day, Reg was so beautiful to look at.

”Hi.” Remus says eventually with a croak.

Reggie’s head snaps up as he slams the book closed, he has his arms wrapped around Remus in
seconds.

”Hi.” He smiles buried into Remus’ hair.

Remus laughs as he wraps his arms around Reggie’s waist, pulling him down on top of him on the
bed. He showers kisses all over his face,smiling as he does. Remus’ smile falls when he catches
eyes with Sirius across the room as he enters. Peter dives on James but Sirius stands, his jaw tense
as he stares at Remus and Reg. He forces a smile then carries on towards James, he affectionately
hugs him and ruffles his head as Reg removes himself from Remus’ grasp.
 ”Hey!” Reg calls to his brother elatedly, “Remus is awake!”

”Yes, very good.” Sirius says keeping a forced smile etched on his face, “Hope you feel better
soon.”

Remus stares tensely, none of their conversations had ever been so..formal before and it felt weird
but he had to give Sirius credit for trying. Especially with his baby brother in the room, holding
Remus’ hand instead of him. If anyone else can sense the brewing tension, they’re polite enough
not to mention it. Sirius looks seconds away from a nervous breakdown as he fidgets and his eyes
dart around the room as if he’s trying to find something to bury his attention into- he settles on the
ceiling- wondering how it still hadn’t been cleaned since he was there last.

”Did you tell him?” Sirius whispers to James eventually.

James shakes his head, “Now really isn’t the time..”

”We should tell him soon.” Sirius mumbles sadly, “He will be able to advise you and stuff.. Moony
is good at that.”

”I don’t want to talk about that.” James says gloomily, glancing at his bitten arm which is hidden
beneath is sleeves.

”What do you want to talk about then? How about Quidditch? Your first game is next week!”
Sirius tries enthusiastically.

James just shakes his head numbly, “I think I’m going to quit.”

”What?” Sirius blinks, “But you can’t. You’re the captain. The team needs you, Potter.”

James shrugs, unable to hide the sadness and fear building inside of him. He can’t seem to shake it
off, the numb ache in his body consuming him like his soul has been ripped away by dementors.
He had felt sad before of course he had but he was always able to bury it and hide it away. This
time was different though, this time it was all consuming and there was no escape.

Chapter End Notes

Yeah I genuinely don’t have a clue if it’s Wolfstar endgame or

Moonseeker/Moonwater endgame so we will find out together lmao

Also poor James idk why I did this but I feel bad okay bye
 Chapter 16
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Once Remus and James were both discharged from the hospital, it didn’t take long for Remus to
notice how wrong things were. James wasn’t his usual chipper self, he didn’t speak nearly as much
as they were all used to and even Sirius couldn’t seem to get James to break into one of his
infamous lopsided smiles. Whatever was wrong with James had however had one benefit, Sirius
and Remus were on talking terms- proper talking terms.

”I’m really worried about him.” Sirius says as they awaken to a James-less dorm room.

”Me too.” Remus furrows his brows, “Does anyone know what’s wrong with him?”

Peters eyes widen with panic as Sirius swears under his breath. They had intended to tell Remus at
some point but James was avoiding the conversation all together, the second anything remotely
linked was mentioned James was up and out. Sirius couldn’t be mad at James though, he got it.
Although he was madly in love with Remus Lupin, he doubts he could ever go through the
monthly torture of the transformations.

”You two do know!” Remus accuses with raised eyebrows, “Well? Spit it out!”

”He got bit!” Peter blurts, clapping his hands over his mouth.

Sirius glares at Peter as Remus’ mouth falls open, “He said I didn’t bite him!”

”You didn’t.” Sirius elaborates softly, “It was the other werewolf, do you remember?”

Remus furrows his eyebrows in concentration, the images of a larger werewolf standing before
him. He slowly nods, his jaw slack and body tense.

”I knew him.” Remus mumbles, “ I tried to fight it but once I saw him..Moony took over and there
was this moment..” Remus closes his eyes as the memory replays in his mind, “He had his teeth
sunk into James and I came back to myself just for that moment and I launched at him, I dug my
teeth into his throat but he threw me off and..” Remus’ eyes fill with tears, “I came back a few
times during the fight..I saw..Prongs..he was so still. I thought he was dead.”

”He’s..a werewolf now isn’t he?” Peter asks quietly, “He was bitten under the full moon and
survived the bite..”

Remus closes his eyes, “I am a complete dick.”

”What? This isn’t your fault!” Sirius protests.

”He..I think he was going to tell me and when he said I didn’t bite him I went on a tangent about
how no one wants to be a werewolf and how painful it is..”Remus swallows and exhales harshly,
“So yeah, I am a dick. No wonder he doesn’t want to talk about it all.”

James stays hidden in an alcove on the third floor, it’s a good spot as he can see people passing by
but he’s safely tucked away. He took the map to hide his location from the marauders because he
really didn’t want to talk. He lifts his sleeve up and looks at the deep marks imprinted on his skin,
it was still tender to touch.
He was due to speak to the headmaster about his arrangements that day. James had never been so
afraid in all his life. He didn’t want to lose his place at Hogwarts, it was his home away from
home. It’s where his friends were and Lily, he loved it and didn’t want to leave especially with it
being his second to last year. He wanted the grades to become an Auror - he’d be quite good at it
but he knew now he was like Remus- there was no future there.

There was a great many things James couldn’t do now. He might not be able to stay in school, he
couldn’t have a career, he’d have to register as a beast as soon as he turned 18, he was not allowed
to become a Father or anything really. His entire future was filled with rules, regulations and
misery. He didn’t really see the point in trying if he couldn’t have the life he had dreamt of.

James had always had a plan. He was going to play professional quidditch- he knew he was good
enough to do that. He had a change of heart when he got older and understood the war raging on
outside the castle walls more, he wanted to be one of the people who put an end to it. He wanted to
make a happier place for all to live- then he would be a professional quidditch star. Now, he
couldn’t do either. He always felt bad for Remus, although Remus hated being a charity case-
James couldn’t comprehend now more than ever how Remus was just so okay with it all. Life was
just completely fucking shit.

His peace was disrupted by someone shoving another person into the hidden alcove, they tripped
but laughed as the other person leant down and kissed them. James raises his eyebrow recognising
the two boys as Regulus’ best friends. He clears his throat, the two of them break apart, standing as
far away from each other as they can in such a tiny space.

”Please don’t say anything.” Barty pleads immediately rushing out of the space.

Evan stares after him biting his lip and sighing, “Shit.”

”Didn’t mean to interrupt. I couldn’t make my escape as you’d both blocked the way out and I
wasn’t sure how far it was going to go..” James explains quietly.

”Probably not much further than that.. it’s the first time we’ve ever..” Evan groans, settling himself
besides James, “I told him I loved him and.. it’s escalated. He definitely regrets it now.”

“Things don’t escalate like that unless you like someone.” James reasons, his voice monotone with
the sadness within.

Evan raises his brows, “On the contrary Potter, things escalate all the time based on many other
things like hormones. Barty hasn’t fucked anyone in over a month, he’s not stopped going on about
it. I was there and available so he..he’s never been with a bloke before so.. that’s how I know it
was just curiosity.”

James stares at Evan, “You’re gay?”

Evan nods, “You’re the third person I’ve admitted that to..please don’t-“

”I won’t say anything.” James smiles reassuringly, “So…what’s with the homophobic comments?
You know? Being a twat to Remus ?”

”You absolutely cannot tell Reg.” Evan warns, “Or his brother for that matter.”

”Go on.” James encourages.

”I had the biggest crush on him.” Evan snorts, “I want to say it was because he was the only openly
gay man at school but it really wasn’t. He’s just fucking fit ain’t he?”
James shrugs, “Never really thought about it.” He considers it for a moment, thinking about Remus
in that way and shrugs again, “I mean yeah.. I see why the girls and the gays fancy him.”

Evan stares at James with a small smirk tugging at his mouth, “Have you kissed anyone before
James?”

James nods, “Yeah.. a few girls, why?”

”What about men?”

”Nah.” James denies then quickly backtracks, “I’ve kissed Sirius on the forehead before.”

“Can I kiss you?” Evan asks lowly.

James blinks in surprise, a nervous laughter escaping from his mouth. He looks at Evan, his face
falling nervously as he realises the Slytherin boy isn’t joking. He stares at Evans piercing blue eyes
and swallows nervously, they’re so blue they’re practically shining out of his sockets. For some
reason, perhaps hypnotised by the eyes- James slowly nods.

Evan places his hand on James’ face gently, his touch calming James significantly before he leans
forward and presses his mouth on James’. The Gryffindor isn’t sure what he was expecting, but it’s
the same as kissing girls really- aside from the slight scratch from stubble. It feels nice and James
finds himself kissing back, his hands wandering through Evan’s dirty blonde hair. After a few
breathless moments, Evan pulls away and smiles at James.

”I knew it.” He snorts shaking his head, “You’re not as straight as you think, Potter.”

James touches his swollen lips, watching after Evan as he leaves the alcove and leaves James sat
feeling more confused than ever. In his head, along with all his other life plans- he was going to
marry a beautiful respectful and clever woman- preferably Lily Evans but now.. he was having a
proper full on gay crisis. A proper full on gay werewolf crisis- he couldn’t put it off any longer or
he might combust. He needed to talk to Remus Lupin and their other friends.

He approaches cautiously in the Great Hall, the three Marauders eating their breakfast as he sits
besides Sirius. His best friend side eyes him suspiciously as James slowly piles his plate with
sausages, egg and bacon. Remus nervously glances across at James from where he sits in front of
him, whilst Peter continues eating as if nothing is wrong in the world at all.

”We need to talk.” James says quietly, looking up and meeting Remus’ eyes.

”Yeah.” Remus breathes out, nodding in relief.

He had thought it was going to be much harder to get James to openly speak about the next full
moon. James glances around, his heart hammering in his chest as he leans in and prepares to lower
his voice. Remus, Sirius and even Peter follow suit, all four of them leaning across the table so
their heads meeting together in the middle.

James swallows the lump in his throat and sighs, “Howdidyouknowyouweregay?”

“Huh?” Sirius asks as Remus says “Eh?”

”How did you know you were gay?” James asks slower, cautiously checking that no one was
listening in.

“That’s what you wanted to speak about?” Sirius asks in disbelief, “What about the other thing?”
”Later.” James hisses, “This one is freaking me out more-“

”Being gay is freaking you out more than being a werewolf?” Peter questions his eyebrows
wriggling in confusion.

James blushes realising how ridiculous he sounded, “I..I just.. I kissed a bloke before coming here
and.. I don’t know what it means.”

”It means you kissed a man.” Sirius shrugs unhelpfully.

Remus rolls his eyes at Sirius, “Well.. have you ever had feelings for a man before?”

”I don’t know.” James shrugs, “I.. how would I know?”

”Say you’re in a busy room, your eyes automatically find that person right?” Sirius explains, “For
example no matter how busy, my eyes would always land on-“ Sirius swallows, “That special
person.”

James sighs, “So, Lily Evans then.”

“Well yeah but have you ever done that with a man before?”

“Or have you ever felt incredibly frustrated by someone existence and not understood why?”
Remus adds, “That’s how I figured it out.”

Sirius looks offended but doesn’t say anything, they were just friends now after all. He might not
have been referring to him, it could be anyone at all. Sirius knew deep down it was him that had
been Remus’ gay awakening as David Bowie had been Sirius’. James seems to look struck by the
question, as if someone had slapped him.

”Oh.” James breathes out as the reality sinks in, he takes a seat again and stares at his plate.

”Prongs?” Sirius asks with a hint of worry.

James nods, “Yeah.. I.. yeah. What Remus said.. I..yeah.”

”I’m assuming by your reaction it’s a boy?”

James nods but says nothing else as he continues staring at his plate, his eyes shifting around
nervously. He had two queer friends and never put it together, he felt so stupid that Evan Rosier
had clocked on after five minutes alone and James hadn’t noticed at all in all the time he had been
alive.

”Do you still fancy Evans?” Pete asks with confusion.

James nods again, “I think.. I fancy two people..” then he laughs at himself, “I can’t have either of
them.”

”Why? Who’s the boy?” Sirius asks, “He might fancy you back-“

”Definitely doesn’t.” James interrupts, “Besides I think I’m better off alone.”

“Because of the..wo-“

”Padfoot!” James snaps, “Not here!”

Sirius sucks air between his teeth and nods, “Fine. But just so you know people with that are more
than capable of love and being in love just look at Remus and me-my brother.”

Remus’ eyebrows disappear beneath his curls because Sirius was definitely about to say me. He
tried to recover but it was a bit late, Peter even looked at Sirius funny.

”Wait..”Sirius frowns staring at James, “Who the fuck did you kiss?”

James eyes widen, “Erm that’s for me to know and for you to never find out.”

“Is he ugly Prongs?” Sirius tuts disapprovingly, “Don’t worry we’ve all been there.”

Remus’ face unintentionally twists up in confusion, the only people Sirius had kissed were him and
hot girls. He was gay not blind, the girls Sirius had been with were beautiful but he wasn’t. He was
tall and covered in scars and freckles..he wasn’t good looking at all. His heart drops a little at the
thought of Sirius meaning him, but Sirius would never..he knew how much Remus hated himself.
He would never speak negatively about his body or his face even when they were friends-but that
was before Remus had started dating Regulus. He swallows his drink for something to do, trying to
fight off the insecurity spreading within.

James’ leans on his hand and shrugs, “He not ugly. Not my type but definitely not ugly.”

”Ooh he has a type!” Sirius mocks with a small laugh as he prods James’ side, “Am I your type?
Pfff I’m everyone’s type.”

James actually smiles sincerely and shakes his head, “You’re beautiful Padfoot but.. no.”

Remus notices Regulus standing on the other side of the hall, he smiles over at Remus and tilts his
head towards the door. Remus stands, offering awkward smiles to his friends as he gather his
belongings.

”YoucantellReghecansitwithus.” Sirius hurries out in one breath.

”You bloody what?” Remus asks tensely.

Sirius swallows nervously, “You can tell Reg he can sit with us…I mean..If he wants to. I..want
him to.”

Remus relaxes and nods, “I’ll let him know.”

As Remus leaves the Great Hall, an enormous smile on his freckled face as he sees Reg leaning
against the railings of the stairs waiting for him. He feels a warmth bubbling away inside his chest
as he thinks about the olive branch Sirius had offered. He knew how big of a deal it was to both of
them. How much it would mean to Reggie that Sirius had reached out like that..

But for some reason Remus couldn’t bring himself to say the words. Selfishly he didn’t like the
thought of his ex and his current not boyfriend sitting together, even if they weren’t brothers he still
wouldn’t like it.

He hadn’t forgiven Sirius still but was he willing to ruin Regulus’ chance at bonding with his big
brother like he so desperately wanted to? Remus wasn’t sure.

Remus follows Reg under the stairs with a warm smile, Reg pulls him in by his hands and pecks
him on the mouth, “I missed you.”
“Gods you’re so needy.” Remus teases kissing him back, “I missed you too.”

“Are you feeling alright?” Reg asks nervously, eyeing his not boyfriend suspiciously.

Remus nods, “Yeah, I’m good Reggie don’t worry.”

Reg bites his lip before sighing, “My brother said I should talk to you about your illness when you
woke up..I left it because you were still not well but I just..what is it Remus? What is it that you
have?” He sighs again, “How can I help you if I don’t know what’s up?”

”I..I can’t tell you, Reg.” Remus mumbles hopelessly, “I just can’t.”

”You don’t have to be embarrassed..it’s me.”

”Embarrassed?” Remus asks breathlessly, his heart twisting funnily inside, “I- Sirius said I was
embarrassed?”

Regulus runs his tongue across his top teeth as he thinks, “I’m sorry that came out wrong-“

”No it’s not your fault.” Remus interrupts heatedly, “Don’t apologise or make excuses for him. The
reason I am so ashamed and so embarrassed is because your brother made me feel that way-“

”Remus you don’t have to-“

”He used it against me. Told someone who had no right to know.” Remus runs his hand through
his hair as tears start forming in his eyes, “I trusted him with it and he used it against me and now I
can’t trust anyone.”

”You can trust me.” Regulus whispers softly, “I am not my brother.”

Remus winces at the reminder, of course Regulus wasn’t Sirius. Just because Sirius had betrayed
Remus it didn’t mean that Regulus would do the same but it wasn’t just that. It was opening up,
letting another person in on his biggest secret and his biggest fears. He could tell Reg and it could
scare him away. After all, how many people wanted to date a werewolf?

”I’m sorry.” Remus says his voice cracking, “I’m just not ready.”

That evening Remus barges into the dormitory room, Sirius is lounging on the bed next to James
with Peter sat on a build up chair, the three of them playing a card game on James’ bed. Without
warning, Remus grabs Sirius by the collar and drags him off the bed, throwing him up against the
nearby wall. Sirius splutters as the force knocks the wind out of him, James jumps up in alarm
staring at the murderous look in Remus’ eyes.

“Remus put him down!” James pleads panicked, “Moony!”

”You don’t have the fucking right to tell anyone about my fucking secret.” Remus hisses angrily in
Sirius’ face.

”H-he’s my brother.” Sirius chokes out as he struggles to breathe against Remus’ strong hands and
the pressure against his throat.

”He’s my fucking boyfriend.” Remus spits, dropping Sirius to the ground and storming into the
bathroom.

Sirius coughs as he stares at Remus with nothing but hurt in his eyes as the bathroom door slams
shut behind them. James helps Sirius to his feet checking his best friend over with a fuss.
 ”I’m fine Prongs.” Sirius says brushing him off, “It’s fine.”

“Did you really tell Reg about his furry little problem?”

Sirius shakes his head, “No.. Reggie was worried about him.. said he loves him..I can tell he loves
him..so I just said he should talk to Remus about it.” Sirius shrugs miserably, “It wasn’t my secret
to tell.”

Remus stares at his reflection in the mirror as he listens in on his friends conversation. Sirius hadn’t
tried to out his secret again, he had tried to protect it and tried to give Remus chance to do the right
thing and tell Reggie himself. Sirius had said that Reg loved him, that he can tell that Reg loves
him and Remus isn’t sure if that’s such a good thing.

Chapter End Notes

Okay just in case anyone is confused by the Evan X James kiss, the way I see it is that
Evan was hurt when Barty walked away and James was there. Now James is aware he
likes both genders, I ain’t sure if Jegulus will be a thing or not but now the path is
open if this fic does take that direction.

Also I’m co-writing a fanfic with @infinitewolfstar called Wedding Crashers! Please
read it

The Marauders are Wedding Crashers, one day they get the news that Sirius’ little
brother and James’ ex Regulus Black is getting married and they obviously haven’t
been invited. After years of not crashing weddings, they decide the highly anticipated
Black wedding is the perfect comeback. Everything is going to plan, until James takes
it a step further and stops the wedding entirely.
 Chapter 17
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Remus goes back to avoiding Sirius. Any progress towards friendship the two of them made had
evaporated. Remus just felt angry whenever he so much as felt Sirius’ presence in the same room.
James was acting odd too, desperately dodging any talks to do with his own furry little problem.
Sirius was still trying to figure out who James had shared a snog with and drawing up blanks, he
was adamant he knew all the bisexual and gay men in Hogwarts but none of them made sense.
Peter was the only one trying to get the marauders back to normal, he was attempting to engage all
three of them in conversations in the dorm every night but only Sirius would reply.

”Will you two shut up?” Remus requests rather harshly one night from his own bed.

Sirius grunts in disapproval, “Oh fuck off Moony. You’re so fucking miserable these days.”

”Wonder why that is.” Remus mutters under his breath as he continues staring at nothing.

”You would have thought my brother would be cheering you up a bit more.” Sirius snaps back with
a nasty scoff.

Remus’ jaw clenches angrily, he’s about to defend Regulus when James noisily clambers out of his
bed, roots through his trunk and grabs the invisibility cloak, slamming the lid of his trunk shut.
Sirius sits up in his own bed and blinks at James, “Where are you going?”

”Out.”

Sirius raises his brow, “You meeting that bloke?”

James shoots his a nasty glare before turning to Peter, “You coming with Wormtail?”

Sirius pulls a face and makes an undignified sound of protest, “What the fuck?”

”You two need to talk.” James says looking between Remus and Sirius, “I can’t talk about my..”
He swallows harshly, “Furry little problem if we’re not all..together.. I don’t want to face it without
everyone there.”

Sirius softens and nods gently, he’d do anything for James Potter. He watches as James and Peter
disappear under the cloak, his heart racing at the idea of being alone with Remus once again. He
turns nervously toward the other boy, chewing his bottom lip whilst he thinks on the best way to
approach. He knew mentioning Reggie wasn’t a good idea, he knew he couldn’t be the one to
bring up James’ request or mither Remus to allow him to attend at the end of the month. It had to
come from Remus.

”So..” Sirius eventually decides on, laying on his front and looking across at Remus’ bed.

”If James wants you there then be there, but don’t talk to me and don’t try to be my fucking alpha
when I turn.”

Sirius presses his lips together, “But..aren’t I your alpha regardless?”

“Who fucking knows?” Remus snaps, throwing the covers off himself and sitting up, “But I don’t
want you to be.”

”What’s the alternative? That Greyback bloke?!” Sirius raises his voice, his eyes wild with fury,
“He tried to kill you!”

”At least he never tried to get me to kill someone else!”

”Fuck.” Sirius says standing to his feet, “I knew you wouldn’t just-“

”Let it go? Ha! Is that what you were about to say!?” Remus snarls, getting up from his own bed,
“You betrayed me, Sirius! YOU!” He jabs his finger into Sirius’ chest hard, “I don’t think you can
comprehend just how much it hurts-“ Remus’ voice waivers a little, his voice strained with pain,
“You betrayed me. Not James, not Peter but you. The one person I thought I could trust. I trusted
you with everything Sirius. I trusted you with- I trusted you with my heart and you tore it from my
fucking chest and crushed it to pieces.”

Sirius scoffs and rolls his eyes, “You’re not the only one who got their fucking heart broken!
You’re not fucking special.”

”Oh my heart bleeds for you!” Remus responds bitterly, “Someone save Sirius Black because
someone broke his stupid fucking heart.”

Sirius’ breathing becomes heavy, his fist curling and uncurling by his side, “Its always been
broken. I don’t remember a damn time my heart wasn’t broken. It broke a little every single day in
that fucking house! You..mended it.” He inhales a sharp wobbly breath, “You mended it and I
broke it myself when I realised how I fucked up. Then it broke again when you left..but when I
found out and about you and Reg..” Sirius shakes his head in defeat and laughs, “I don’t think it
will ever be the same. It’s back to breaking every single day.”

”Sirius-“

”I deserve it.” Sirius shrugs sorrowfully, “Reg is a good kid. He deserves to be happy.. and so do
you.” Sirius starts crying, “Fuck. Sorry. I just.. I am sorry for everything. I’m sorry that I let both of
you down. I’m sorry that I do stuff without thinking, I don’t know why I do it but I always have,
even when I was a kid and I’d get in so much trouble for it but I never unlearn it. I’m stupid and
reckless and I fuck up every good thing that comes my way.”

Remus feels his heart clench at the sight of Sirius crying. It was rare to see him like this, he’d
grown up so used to being hurt that it didn’t bother him, he was desensitised to things but
occasionally this happened. He tries to pull himself together, wiping away his tears on his arm and
looking extremely embarrassed for his emotional outburst. Before Remus would’ve stepped closer
and wrapped his arms around him, pecked his face and held him until he stopped crying. It was
awkward the way Remus stood there watching Sirius breakdown, he wasn’t quite sure what to do
anymore. He only knew what he wanted to do but he couldn’t do that.Everything used to be so
simple but now he was the ex who stood by and watched someone’s heart physically breaking
before his eyes. That hurt too.

”You can fix things with Reggie.” Remus says softly after a few minutes, “He wants you back
more than anything else in the world.”

Sirius fakes a snort, his skin flushed red from crying, “Is that why he decided to date my ex?”

Remus purses his lips together and groans, “Well actually..”

”Wait..really?”
”Kind of..” Remus admits sheepishly, “I..err I wanted to fake date originally for revenge but things
got complicated and Reg freaked and told me he was only doing it so you would notice him..”

Sirius rubs his hand against his temple, “That idiot. I bloody watch out for him on a daily basis. I
defend him whenever James looses his cool with him- I mean I get why James is so..short with
him, frustrated with him I guess ..he’s just looking out for me but he’s still my fucking brother.”

Remus’ jaw drops as Sirius continues ranting about how much he loved his brother and James’
attitude towards Reg.

“Or have you ever felt incredibly frustrated by someone existence and not understood why?”
Remus asks, “That’s how I figured it out.”

”Oh.” James breathes out as the reality sinks in, he takes a seat again and stares at his plate.

”Moony? You alright?”

”Prongs?” Sirius asks with a hint of worry.

James nods, “Yeah.. I.. yeah. What Remus said.. I..yeah.”

”I’m assuming by your reaction it’s a boy?”

”Remus? Hello?”

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

James fancied Regulus.

Fuck.

Oh fuck.

Remus blinks back to reality as Sirius impatiently waves his hand in front of his face, “Sorry?
What were you saying?”

”Did you ask Reg about sitting with us?”

”Oh no.” Remus admits.

Sirius shrugs, “If it’s about me still loving you, I’ll get over it. I’m sure there’s plenty of hot people
out there I can marry and have a future with.” Remus notices the tone is off, Sirius clearly doesn’t
quite buy what he is saying but manages to convince Remus with one final line, “I’ve only got one
brother but I have many exes.”

”Yeah okay I’ll ask him.” Remus states, trying to hide the bitterness in his tone.

Many exes.

The reminder of who Sirius was before Remus stings; the years of watching him kiss whoever at
parties, the years of girls sitting on his lap and draping their arms around him whilst Remus
watched pathetically pining. He isn’t sure why it hurts so much. He is Sirius’ ex. It’s just fact.
They weren’t together anymore. He’s not allowed to feel like this anymore.
His heart sinks, the words ringing in his ears. Remus was just another ex now. Their entire future
was erased. He can’t help but wonder how many futures he planned with other people before him.
If they had felt as special as he did, laid in Sirius’ toned and tanned arms discussing their future
cottage and pets in depth.

Their eyes meet, everything in Remus screams at him to look away and break eye contact but he
can’t. He just stares into Sirius’ dark stormy eyes, wishing for the familiar calm to wash over him
like a soothing wave. It doesn’t come. Sirius’ eyes remain dark with sadness. Remus wants to reach
out, hold the side of his face in the palm of his hand and watch him burst back to life from his
touch. He doesn’t do that either.

Sirius searches Remus’ hazel eyes for answers he can’t find, he doesn’t know what this is but he
can feel himself so painfully drawn to the taller man. He has this horrible urge to move just one
step closer and kiss him. He just wants to prove to Remus that Reggie isn’t the one. It’s him and it’s
them. It’s Sirius and Remus forever.. but he doesn’t. Reggie is happy. Remus is happy. Sirius could
learn to live with the ache inside of him. He had done it before after all and this time he truly did
deserve to be hurting. He was the one who had caused harm, he deserved to be miserable for the
rest of his life.

The dormitory door opens, the sound of footsteps entering the room makes Sirius step away from
Remus. They were standing a bit too close and James would definitely jump to conclusions. James
takes the cloak off him and Peter, his eyes dart between the two friends and his eyebrow raises
accusingly.

”No Prongs.” Sirius denies immediately, shaking his head.

”He didn’t say anything!” Peter frowns as he climbs back into his own bed.

Sirius can’t help but laugh, “We’re soulmates me and Prongsie are, I can read his mind.”

Remus shuffles back over to his own bed, shutting the curtains around himself. He closes his eyes
tightly, forces himself to think of the lovely Regulus but he can feel Sirius in every single one of
his bones. He feels suffocated by Sirius’ existence. He tries to think of his not boyfriend, his tender
sweet touch and his dry sense of humour but memories of Sirius disrupts the thoughts like a
hurricane in peaceful land. After all, there’s no place like home. For years Sirius was all Remus
knew, home was with him.

Despite the confused feelings for both brothers, Remus does ask Reggie if he will sit with them in
the Great Hall. They’re on the fourth floor in the hidden room behind the mirror, chilling naked on
the sofa when he asks. Regulus laughs as if Remus had told the most hilarious joke in the world, he
registers the genuine expression and abruptly stops.

”Oh..” Reg breathes out, “Remus, I can’t.”

“Wh-“

”The Slytherins.” Reg whispers faintly.

Remus visibly deflates.

“It’s not that I don’t want too.” Reg asks quickly, “I’d love to sit with you but-“

”Sirius is the one asking.”

Reg let’s out a breath of air, “You didn’t mention that part.”
“Does it change your answer?” Remus asks hopefully.

Reg shakes his head, “I don’t know Rem..do we have to talk about this?”

”No course not.”

Reg smiles thankfully then leans over to close the space between them, “You’re the best.”

Their mouths meet, Remus is rigid but distracts Reg by tugging his hair and kisses back until he
eventually relaxes more. His lust taking over the initial anxiety he felt, the two boys keep kissing
until Remus places his thigh between Reggie’s legs and everything escalates from there once again.

Everything is gentle, soft touches and mellow sounds leaving their mouths. They take their time, a
mixture of nerves on fairly new territory and the looming feeling that this won’t last. Reggie knows
it won’t, he’s joining the Dark Lord soon and he will not drag Remus down with him when he
does, but for now, he wants to memorise every freckle and every scar. He wants to relish in the
way Remus rocks his hips and moans breathlessly against his mouth.

”I love you.” Reggie whispers once they’ve both chased that high and collapsed, “I love
you,Remus Lupin.”

Remus’ heart gets caught in his throat, his eyes widening slightly. Sirius had told him, Sirius knew
and yet somehow, Remus just never saw it coming. How could anyone possibly love him?

”I love you, Moony.” Sirius says softly, stroking the side of Remus’ face as he cry laughs, “I love
you so fucking much”

”You don’t have to say it back.” Reg says awkwardly, “I-I erm I just wanted you to know.”

”I love you too Sirius. I’ll always love you.”

”Why?” Remus asks his face twisted with confusion.

Reg blinks at him, “Why? Why what?”

”Why do you love me?” Remus half laughs, “I..I just don’t get it.”

”You really need to work on your self esteem Remus.” Reg sternly whispers, “I love you because
you’re you. You’re sweet, clever, funny and fucking hot..”

Remus smiles, “You..you think I’m hot?”

Reg tuts playfully, “Of course that’s what you pick up on. Remus you’re beautiful, truly truly
gorgeous.”

Remus doesn’t know why he’s started crying but he just does. Everything was such a mess. He felt
responsible for James mostly, werewolves had to stick together type of thing but James was
refusing to sit and talk. Peter was dodging his issues with his parents, he never spoke about them
anymore which was weird. Then there was obviously Regulus and Sirius, it was stressing him out.

But Regulus calling him beautiful, that was the thing that pushed him over the edge and now he
couldn’t stop crying.

”I didn’t mean to make you cry Rem.” Reggie says, holding the older boy closely to his chest, “I’m
sorry.”
”Don’t apologise.” Remus scolds through his tears, “You didn’t do anything wrong, I’m just a
mess.”

Reg rubs circles on Remus’ back, “You’re not a mess, baby.”

Remus stares tearfully, “You’re so perfect, sweetheart.”

”Remus.” Reg states dryly, “As beautiful as this moment was, I’m massively distracted by the fact
we’re both naked.”

Remus snorts, then the two men lean back in together and kiss delicately. Remus’ hands get
tangled in Reggie’s soft curls, as they’re kissing Remus’ mind spins- Regulus loved him. Despite
his scars, despite his previous relationship with his brother and his tendency to be hot and cold,
Reggie loved him.

His hands start wandering lower, grabbing Reggie’s ass firmly in his hands. With Reg everything
was easy, they didn’t fight or bicker, Reggie was mature and intelligent, they actually fucking
communicated. Reg knew when Remus needed his space and vice versa they worked. It worked.
Reggie made him so fucking happy, whenever he had difficult days- Reg managed to make him
smile and feel warm inside.He couldn’t really imagine his life without Regulus Black in it
anymore, he wasn’t just Sirius’ brother - he was someone that Remus had grown to care about.
Someone that he..loved.

”I love you.” Remus tells him between kisses, “I love you too, Reg.”

Regulus kisses harder, more desperately. He had worried so badly about Remus not reciprocating
the feelings, thought that maybe Remus still loved Sirius but he could hear the truth in his voice.
Remus meant every word. Remus loved Regulus.

Remus really did love him.

He returns to the dormitory way past midnight, a large smile and a spring in his step. He stops in
the door as his three roommates turn to look at him, Sirius pulls his gaze away first actively
looking anywhere but his ex. Remus consciously adjusts his jumper to hide the new marks on his
neck, grimacing uncomfortably at James and Peter. James shrugs as he climbs onto his bed that
Sirius is already sat upon.

”How come you’re all still up?”

”Prongs is ready to talk.” Peter explains sleepily.

”It can wait.” James insists shyly, “It’s late.”

Sirius sits up straighter, “I don’t care that Moony’s been fucking shagging my brother
alright?”Clear irritation and disgust in his voice, “Can we please just discuss this shit before it’s too
late? You’re far more important than sleep and sex, James.”

Remus’ cheeks flush pink, “I-if I knew you were ready I wouldn’t have gone-“

”It’s fine.” James nods, “I didn’t know I was ready until I was..does that make sense?”

”No…”Peter frowns, “So.. is everyone going to the shack this month?”

Sirius side eyes Remus nervously, he wanted to be there more than anything in the world. He had
wanted to be there all the months prior too, but ultimately it was Remus’ decision. However, Sirius
was willing to fight Remus about it, it wasn’t just about him anymore. It was about their terrified
best friend. It was about his terrified best friend.

”Yeah.” Remus says, “We all have to be there for James.”

James looks up with a wounded expression, “I’m so scared.”

”Prongs-“

”I’ve seen it every month.. I hear the cracking in your bones and the cry in your voice..I see the
pain in your eyes and I am so fucking afraid.” James mumbles quickly, “How do I do it? I-I’m
not..I’m not strong like you are.”

James buries his head in his hands, shaking and regretting every word that left his mouth. Remus
takes three large strides towards James and kneels before him, making James looks at him with his
big heartbroken eyes.

”Strength has nothing to do with it.” Remus explains as gently as he can, “We persevere. We carry
on. I know you’re capable of that Prongs because I’ve seen it.”

”But I’ve never-“

”Not in the same ways but I’ve seen you lose matches, it hurts you. I see the look in your eyes but
you carry on. You persevere. Many times, not just Quidditch but with Lily, potions essays and even
us.” Remus explains, trying to hold James’ stare, “You’re strong James Potter and there’s the
aconite. We have animagus, a pack and the wolfs..they have eachother.”

James swallows, “What if Moony doesn’t take to me kindly as a wolf?”

”Thats-“ Remus breaks off, it hadn’t really occurred to him, “Sirius will be there. The aconite
worked until Greyback showed up-”

”We should stay in the shack this month.” Sirius interrupts, “Incase that Greyback fella turns up
again.”

Remus nods in agreement, “Our priority is keeping you safe, James. We won’t let anything bad
happen to you.”

”That’s what Dumbledore said.” James admits quietly, “He said I can stay. He said I don’t have to
inform my parents yet.”

”You haven’t told Mum and Dad?” Sirius asks his face dropping with bewilderment.

James runs his fingers through his hair, a temperament he did whenever he was thinking or
stressed, “I.. I didn’t want to worry them..everything going on outside of school with the ministry
and the Dark Lord.. we decided it was for the best to keep it secret.”

”We?” Sirius demands, “Who is we?”

”Dumbledore and I. He is part of the Order, I think he’s owns it actually..he’s in charge. Their boss
almost and they had a bunch of important missions and stuff so we-“

”Bullshit,” Sirius snarls, “Your parents deserve to know James. Remus tell him!”

Remus goes quiet, all three pairs of eyes on him, burning into his flesh. He wished more than
anything he had a choice like this, he would chose not to let his parents know anything either. They
treated him like a disease and an inconvenience, if he had the choice his parents would be none the
wiser. He doesn’t respond but he doesn’t have to, the truth is written all over his face.

****

Regulus drags Evan with him to the Gryffindor table at breakfast three days later. It had taken a lot
of courage to take this first step. Barty had refused, insisted on sitting with Pandora but Reg wasn’t
surprised at all. Barty had been acting weird for weeks, especially toward Evan, any idiot could see
something had happened between them. Reg just couldn’t work out what they were fighting
about.m this time but whatever it was had apparently ruined the friendship enough that they
wouldn’t be around each other even for Reggie.

Time was running out, Regulus had received letters from his mother about the pending
recruitment. If Reg wanted Sirius to remember him more than a death-eater, he had to make
amends sooner rather than later.

He’s about to turn and make a run for it, getting cold feet the closer they get but Evan holds out his
arm to stop him. He makes an involuntary grunt as he gets winded quite violently by the sudden
force. The four marauders look up from their deep conversation, Sirius smiles uncertainly. Reg
could always just be there to take Remus away.

”Can we sit with you?” Evan asks, forcing Reg to turn and face them.

“Yeah! Yeah definitely.” Sirius says a little too excitedly.

Reg sits besides his not boyfriend, Remus offers him a tight supportive squeeze of his hand. Evan
hovers for a moment, as if fighting an internal battle before going round the table to the only other
available seat besides James.

James looks mortified when Evan slips onto the bench, his cheeks reddening. Remus notices the
way James anxiously side eyes Rosier, realising that he had been wrong. It wasn’t Reggie at all, it
was Evan.

”Alright Potter?” Evan asks grinning as he reaches for his juice.

James turns crimson, “Whh yeah I’m fine golden actually.” He sips his water as a distraction.

”Golden like the sun.” Evan winks making James splutter his water everywhere.

Sirius side eyes his best friend whilst lazily patting him on the back. He then glances over at Evan
who’s grinning to himself, proud of his little display of.. flirting.

”Oh fuck.” Sirius curses as the reality slaps him, “You and Rosier?”

“What? No!” James hisses sheepishly.

Evan snorts, “I just snogged him once is all.”

”You snogged James?” Regulus asks in surprise, “But what about B-“

”I’m not gay.” Evan lies, “Was just snog.”

Sirius shrugs, “I swear Hogwarts gets gayer and gayer every day.”

James steals little glances across the table at Reggie, noticing as Remus steals timid shy looks at
 Sirius as he laughs with Evan and Peter. He can’t understand why Remus is looking at his ex like
that with his boyfriend besides him. He feels awful for Reg, always second best to his big brother.

”Are you two together then?” James asks Reg.

Reggie just shrugs as Remus looks between James and Reg. Maybe he had got it right after all,
there was definitely something in the way James was looking at Regulus.

”Not yet.” Remus answers eventually.

Sirius laughs loudly and shakes his head, pretending to be busy with something else, acting as if he
was laughing at something else. The atmosphere shifts from comfortable to tense, Remus
nervously glancing between the brothers and James. Reg sinks lower into himself, watching his big
brother and knowing how bitter Sirius is feeling towards them.

”This was dumb.” Reg mumbles as he climbs out of his seat, “Let’s go Evan.”

Evan nods turning to James as he gets up, “Later Potter.”

Sirius presses his lips together and sighs in defeat, his eyes closing as he regathers himself. He
fucked up- again. No scenario ended with him being happy, he couldn’t have his brother without
watching him with Remus. He couldn’t have Remus back at all but if he could, he would only ever
see Reggie and this weird relationship between them.

Remus stand up, pulling Reggie’s arm and making the younger boy turn to face him. Sirius can’t
tear his eyes away from the scene unfolding before him, neither can James for that matter.

”Will you be my boyfriend?” Remus asks bravely, “We can be together properly..I’d like that a
lot.”

Reggie stares into Remus’ eyes, a smile breaking free as he nods, “Y-yeah I’d like that.”

Unexpectedly, Reg grabs Remus’ face with his hands and pulls him down so their lips meet. The
two of them kisses, Evan starts cheering supportively alongside Peter. James who was usually in
the centre of attention for things like this, claps supportively but can’t shake the heavy feeling in
his chest. Sirius struggles from his seat, before making a fast exit and ignoring the sound of
footsteps following him.

His heart hurts, it feels as if it’s going to stop beating as he tries to gasp for air. Remus Lupin had
wanted revenge and it worked. Sirius had never felt worse in his entire life. He would rather go
home to 12 Grimmauld place than deal with this level of pain. He would take the Cruciatus curse a
hundred times over just for this to end.

Chapter End Notes

Sirius confusing Remus every time they talk

Remus realising James has a crush on Reg like excuse me? That’s my man ?

Reggie dropped the L bomb fr We expected that but Remus too? Wow I didn’t see
that coming xoxoxo

Just so you know there’s a difference between the love he has for sirius and the love
he has for regulus and he isn’t lying about his feelings. Poor man is confused af x
 Chapter 18
Chapter Notes

TRIGGER WARNINGS
- anxiety attacks
-references to self harm
-brief nods to child abuse

French translations at the end notes

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Sirius leans against the closest wall, ripping his tie away from his throat as he tries to remember
how to breathe. Reggie was giving Remus everything he had ever wanted and everything he
deserved. Kissing him publicly like that in front of a hall full of homophobes, not caring about
future comments or hexes, just showing how much he loved Remus. Something Sirius was never
brave enough to do. Why wasn’t Regulus afraid of what their parents would do? Sirius had
escaped, he was living with the Potters but the fear was still greater than his love. Surely Reg was
at more risk with the bloody Slytherin spies and yet.. he has shown Remus off like boyfriends did
to their girlfriends. He didn’t care who knew they were together. Sirius wishes he was that brave.

The footsteps come to an abrupt halt behind Sirius as he continues gasping for air, his back rubbing
against the wall as he collapses to the floor, “It’s killing me, James.”

“Oh..sorry, James wanted to come but I..” Reg falters as he stares at Sirius’ dishevelled appearance,
“I’m sorry. j'aimerais ne pas tomber amoureuse de lui mais j'ai..”

Sirius laughs rolling his eyes at his sheer bad luck, “Il a cet effet sur les gens, la moitié de l'école
est amoureuse de lui.”

“Mais Sirius, je veux mon frère plus que je ne le veux. Si nous pouvons nous arranger, je le
quitterai. Je ferai n'importe quoi! Je veux juste que mon grand frère revienne.” Reg says
desperately, searching his brothers face for something.

“C'est trop tard. Tu l'as déjà baisé.” Sirius whispers, “I can’t forgive that Reg.”

“S'il te plaît Sirius, tu es mon frère!” Reg begs, “Please. Please.”

“J'allais l'épouser j'ai une bague tu sais? Juste pour lui. Remus était mon avenir.” Sirius’ voice
waivers as he suppressed his tears from falling, “You are dead to me. You are not my brother.”

Sirius looks away, staring pointedly at the wall opposite him. He hears Regulus turn on his heels
and hurry away, choking on his own tears. Sirius still doesn’t feel better. The ache in his chest
seems to consume him, pulling him under into the dark side. All hope, all happiness and all life
sucked from his mind as he leans back against the wall and fights the urge to harm himself.

He tries to ignore the voices in his head, whispering to him and telling him ways he could end it
all. He would finally do something his Mother would be happy about. It’s not like anyone would
even notice he was gone. Wet salty tears roll down his cheeks as he digs his nails into his thighs as
hard as he can.

Students bundle out of the Great Hall, many of them point and whisper as they watch the infamous
Sirius Black have a mental breakdown in the middle of the corridor. Someone puts their hand on
his back, helps him to his feet and ushers him through the crowd as his breathing becomes
laboured her again. Once in the quite of a crowdless hallway, the mystery person lets go and lets
Sirius catch his breath against the window.

“I’m sorry.”

Sirius abruptly turns coming face to face with his ex boyfriend of all people, Sirius starts to shake
again unable to stop the flooding emotions. Frustration builds up inside of him and he starts to
smack his head repeatedly against the castle bricks.

”James.” He manages to say to no one, just begging the universe for a fucking break, “Please I
need James.”

Blood trickles down his face, mixing with his tears as he falls back to the ground and sobs. He tries
his hardest to stop the feeling from consuming him but no matter how hard he thinks, he can’t
escape the overwhelming sadness. He can’t figure out how to stop his heart from racing, it’s
making him feel dizzy and numb all at once.

“Sirius? Are you okay?”

Sirius blinks his tears away, coming face to face with Lily Evans who kneels down in front of him.
She looks worried, she looks like she might even care. Then another girl sits besides him, taking
his hand in hers and squeezing it tightly.

”You’re having an anxiety attack, Sirius.” Emmeline explains gently, “Inhale through your nose
and hold it.”

Sirius stares at her as he listens, she inhales with him and nods, “That’s it. Now release, draw it out.
You’re okay. Do it again, inhale.”

Lily watches as Emmeline helps Sirius through his panic attack, her eyes drifting to the blood on
his head then the splatter on the bricks. She had seen Remus’ display of affection towards Regulus,
they all had but she didn’t expect Sirius to take it this badly. He always had a bit of a flirtatious
ladies man act but it had stopped the minute he started dating Remus. Even though they weren’t
public, he had stopped entertaining the girls and only had eyes for his man. Lily can only imagine
how it feels to love someone so deeply just to have them go with your sibling of all people.

Petunia and Lily didn’t get along much, they always squabbled and fought. Petunia hated that Lily
was a witch. They had been close before, inseparable really and despite how far apart they had
grown since, she couldn’t ever do what Regulus had done to Sirius. She would go as far as to say
Petunia would never do it either. Lily didn’t know what Sirius had done to piss Remus off so
badly, but it was evident it had gone much to far.

Emmeline helps Sirius to his feet, he’s still shaking as James rushes around the corner, followed
uncertainly by Remus who had gone to get Sirius’ best friend the moment he asked for him.

“Padfoot!” James says in relief, panting from running so fast, “Ran. From. Charms.”

”I’m okay.” Sirius says his voice scratchy from crying.

”You’re bleeding.” Remus’ voice comes quietly from behind them.

Lily shoots Remus a look, “We need to talk.”

Emmeline takes ahold of Sirius’ hand, “Lets get you cleaned up, hmm?”

Sirius nods numbly as Emma and James lead him out of the corridor. Remus watches them leave,
biting down on his lip fearfully. Lily clears her throat, rising her eyebrows at him with impatience.

“You’re my best friend, Remus..but you haven’t been honest with me have you?” Lily demands,
her hands on her hips, “What did Sirius do that was so bad to deserve this?”

Remus closes his eyes and tightens his jaw, he inhales and forces himself not to cry, “I..I didn’t
mean for all this to happen.”

”Remus, please talk to me.” Lily begs, her green eyes shining with desperation, “I can’t help you if
you don’t speak to me.”

Emma wets her lace handkerchief under the sink, before gently wiping the blood away and dabbing
the injured area on Sirius’ face. James watches as his best friend winces under the girls soft touch,
if Emma and Lily hadn’t gotten there first..James shakes his thoughts away. He refused to think of
what could have happened. Sirius Black was his best friend, he couldn’t imagine a world without
him. That hurt far too much.

Sirius was the reason James had buried his feelings for Regulus for so long. It wasn’t until he
realised he liked blokes that he realised his true feelings towards his best friends brother. It wasn’t
worth losing his best mate over, it was a shame really that Remus didn’t feel that way. The
marauders had always been the best of friends, now they were all on eggshells as two of them were
borderline enemies.

“Potter?” Emma says suddenly, dragging James from his thoughts.

”Hmm?”

”I was just wondering about Quidditch, you never put out a practice slot for this week and I
thought it would be a good idea is all because our match is on Sunday.”

James had truthfully forgotten, he hadn’t thought much about Quidditch. His mind was overrun
with nothing but the full moon and being a werewolf. He stares as Sirius, he had always been just
as passionate about Quidditch as James, maybe a game is what Sirius needed, but he wasn’t on the
team. He’d missed tryouts due to thinking Emma was pregnant. A wonderful idea flashes in his
mind and he has to stop himself from grinning stupidly.

”Funny you mention that.” He says, looking at Sirius, “I was going to ask Padfoot to run practices
for a bit and be a stand in captain.. because..well..I got diagnosed with something recently and
yeah.. I won’t be well enough.”

Emma blinks in surprise, “Oh merlin! James I’m so sorry.”

”Don’t be.” James grimaces, “It’s alright.”

Sirius looks at his best friend, “You want me to do the tryouts and step up as captain? I didn’t even
make the team.”

“You were too busy studying how to become a Dad. No one can blame you for prioritising that
over a game.” James smiles as Sirius turns bright red.
Emma looks from James back over to Sirius, “You did that? I thought Quidditch was your life?”

”I..well.. yeah but I wanted to prove myself I guess.” Sirius shrugs feeling very stupid and very
vulnerable all at once, “I..my parents were abusive growing up and when I thought you were
pregnant, I wanted to make sure I did everything right by them.”

”Oh..” Emma whispers offering a small smile, “I’m sorry I slapped you.”

” ‘Twas a great slap.” James smirks, noticing the way Sirius rolls his eyes at him.

Sirius looks at Emma and smiles, “It’s okay, Em, I get it. I wanted to slap me too when I realised.”

”Honestly, I thought you were being a dick and saying I looked fat or something.”

”What?” Sirius asks in disbelief, “No! Not at all. If anything I was wondering why you didn’t have
a bump yet.”

”And it didn’t occur to you that I wasn’t pregnant?”

Sirius buries his head in his hands with embarrassment as the other two laugh, “Well in my defence
once I get an idea in my head, it’s hard for me to.. walk away from it.”

In the library, Lily sits across from Remus with a strict expression on her face. Remus keeps his
head hanging down low as he attempts to avoid her piercing green eyes and disappointed look.
Remus wants to tell her everything but it’s so difficult when you’re a werewolf of all things. Most
people would not react the same way the marauders had done.

Remus knew he was lucky at eleven years old when the marauders had figured out where he
disappeared to each month. None of them treated him any different, they all loved him the same
and he knew that wasn’t a normal reaction, they just loved their friend enough as naive kids to trust
him.

”What do you know about werewolves?” Remus asks tentatively, his lip twitching nervously as he
looks into her eyes.

”Oh..”Lily says her shoulders sinking as she looks at Remus.

The scars was the first thing she focused on, remembering the amount of times he had returned
with new ones. The amount of classes he missed each month, all the trips to the hospital wing and
desperate attempts to catch up with homework despite the obvious pain is way in. She felt stupid
for having never realised before, but as a muggleborn werewolves were bad guys in childrens
nursery rhymes. They weren’t sweet teenagers in oversized woolly jumpers, who ran a study club
for the first years and fell in love.

“Oh Remus.” She sighs, standing to her feet and wrapping her arms tightly around him.

“You don’t think I’m a monster?”

Lily laughs through her tears, “You wear jumpers and hoard chocolate, sorry for not running away
screaming.”

Remus suddenly bursts into tears, “S-Sirius said something like that when he found out.”

”I’m assuming there’s more to it then?” Lily asks cautiously, “He didn’t fall out with you because
you’re a werewolf?”
”He’s known since we were eleven.” Remus clarifies, wiping his tears away on his sleeves, “But
last year, he sent someone to where I transform on the full moon.. I could’ve killed them. James
found out and came to rescue them but I could’ve killed James too. I trusted Sirius with my whole
life and he showed me exactly why I couldn’t. If I killed James..”

Lily looks horrified, she claps a hand over her mouth in disbelief. She didn’t understand why Sirius
would do something like that. It was obvious he loved Remus with all his heart, he wouldn’t
purposefully harm Remus in anyway. Unless he thought it wouldn’t hurt Remus somehow.

”Did he say why?”

Remus shrugs, “A load of shit excuses, no actual reason or logic. He’s nothing but a pretty face,
pretty thick in the head.”

”Remus.” Lily snaps, “He is not, you know for a fact he’s better in classes than he makes out.”

”Yeah.” Remus agrees solemnly, “I’m just so angry with him.”

”Is that why you’re dating his brother of all people?”

Remus pulls a face, “No actually. I like Reg a lot. I love him actually..”

”But you’re not in love with him, Remus.” Lily tells him straight, making him flinch with the force
of her words, “You love him like you love me or James or Pete, it isn’t the same kind of love you
have for Sirius.”

Remus shrugs.

Lily takes a deep breath, “Do you genuinely see Regulus in your future? Do you see yourself
marrying him? Being with him for the rest of your life?”

Remus tries to imagine it, truly he tries but his imagination gives him nothing but darkness. When
he was with Sirius, he could picture it and see his life. He could see the cottage, it’s blue door and
green shutters, the plants and flowers surrounding it. Remus would spend hours tending to the
garden, making it pretty. They had two kids running around, a dog bouncing after them barking
crazily and then Sirius would walk outside in one of Remus’ jumpers and the kids would dive on
him. He’d scoop them up in his arms, making them squeal delightedly before meeting Remus half
way and kissing his mouth.

He didn’t see a future at all anymore.

”No. I don’t see my future at all.” Remus sighs defensively, “I’m not a seer Lily.”

Lily places her hand over Remus’ own, “I think you need to talk to Sirius about why he did what he
did. It won’t be a good reason but it might help you understand a little better and maybe then you
can heal properly.”

”I won’t forgive him, Lily.”

“I know Remus, but you’re not yourself anymore.” Lily says softly, “You need to heal and move
on from what he did, so we can all have our Remus back.”

Sirius squirmed every time Emma came closer with the mascara wand, she tutted at him and
swotted his hands away. James had gone back to classes, leaving Emma and Sirius together. He
was hopeful something would happen between them to stop Sirius pining over Remus so much and
didn’t want to cockblock or third wheel.

Emma had helped Sirius put a practice announcement up on the notice board for the following day.
Now she was helping Sirius redo his makeup in the common room, after he cried it all off and she
discovered he never used mascara before.

”It’ll blind me!” Sirius insists, eyeing the wand suspiciously.

Emma rolls her eyes, then straddles him with her thighs as he falls back against the back of the red
sofa, “Hold still.”

He feels himself getting turned on, it’s not his fault he’s a simple man. Hot girls on his knee? Yeah
he’s fucked. Emma doesn’t seem to notice as she carefully coats his lashes with mascara whilst he
can’t move. When she’s done she holds her compact mirror up to his face so he can see the
difference.

”Wait! Holy shit!” Sirius says mesmerised by his own face, “That’s how girls have such fantastic
bloody eyelashes?!”

Emma nods smugly tossing the mascara tube at him, “Here you can have this.”

”Thanks.” Sirius beams as she gets off his lap, he grabs a cushion and hides the tent in his trousers.

He liked Emma a lot actually, she was cool but they didn’t have a spark. She was hot, a great kisser
and good in bed but more than that she was kind and helped him despite everything that had
happened between them. Sirius wanted to be friends with her. Actual friends. He didn’t want to ruin
it with his cock and high sex drive.

“So.. you and Remus Lupin?” Emma prompts with a raised eyebrow, “I thought you were straight.”

Sirius can’t help but laugh, “I wear makeup and you thought I was straight?”

”Well I mean.. you’ve been with a few girls but I’ve never seen you with a guy.”

”Yeah, I err I am bisexual.” Sirius whispers as if he’s ashamed, he avoids looking at her at he says
it, the familiar fear igniting within.

Emma smiles and rests her head on his shoulder, “There’s nothing wrong with that Sirius. You
don’t have to look so scared.”

”If my parents knew.. they’d probably kill me.” Sirius mumbles shamefully, “When I was dating
Remus, all I could think was they won’t kill me.. they will kill him just to hurt me as much as they
possibly can.”

Emma wraps her arms around him as he buried his face into her shoulder, he starts crying silently
as she does her best to just hold him and comfort him. She couldn’t imagine what it was like to live
in fear of your own parents, her parents were great and she realised just how lucky she was in that
moment. Not everyone had parents like hers

“I’m bisexual too.” She says eventually, coming out of the closet for the first time in her entire life.
There were worst people to come out to than a fellow bisexual who was currently crying in her
arms.

Sirius sits up and stares at her, his face breaking out into that infamous Sirius Black grin, “You
are?”
”You're the first person I’ve ever told.”

”Do you know what this means?” Sirius asks her, his eyes brightening, “We’re bisexual buddies!”

Emma groans, “I should have known you would come out with something like that.”

Sirius laughs at the disappointment on her face at his joke, then still smiling he takes her hand and
says, “Proud of you.”

”Proud of you too.”

Remus returns to the common room without Lily, the conversation he’d had with her, left him
feeling mentally drained. She was right, it was rare that Lily was wrong really. He knew he had to
talk to Sirius properly about everything that had happened. He didn’t like who he was becoming,
he didn’t like the constant anger sizzling away inside. He walks into the main area and sees Sirius
with Emmeline, his face flickers with something as he watches them laugh together.

She had managed to somehow get him out of that dark mindset he was lost in before. They were
here together instead of in classes and Remus’ heart dropped. He knew he didn’t have the right to
feel mad or hurt by them being together, Regulus was his boyfriend now. His actual fucking
boyfriend. Lily’s words ring in his head like bells in a tower, he steps closer and swallows
nervously.

The couple look over to see Remus standing there, Emma instinctively takes Sirius’ hand in
solidarity. She didn’t want Sirius to have to face anything alone, especially not something that
would send him into another panic attack. Sirius was already exhausted from the one he
experienced earlier, still feeling out of sorts.

”Can we talk?” Remus asks hesitantly, he watches as Sirius’ eyebrows furrow together as he thinks.

”No.” Sirius says calmly, despite his heart yearning to be close to his ex, “There’s nothing left for
us to say.”

Emmeline is relieved and ecstatic by Sirius’ strength to turn Remus away like that. She knows it
wasn’t easy. She knows Sirius is still madly in love with Remus, but they’re toxic and unhealthy.
Remus shacking up with Sirius’ brother was the worst thing he could have ever done to him. Sirius
was going to struggle letting that go,getting over the comparisons and insecurity that came with his
ex dating his brother. It was going to be difficult but this was a step in the right direction, the
strength of turning him away.

Remus tenses a little, “Please. I want to talk about that night properly.. I need to know-“

”I said no, Remus.” Sirius says, his hand holding Emma’s tightly for support, “I have nothing left
to say.”

Remus nods glumly and carries on walking straight past them. Sirius flinches at the sound of their
dormitory door slamming shut and wonders if he did the right thing. It should feel better than this,
turning down someone who has such a hold over you but it doesn’t. Sirius is still as miserable as
ever and his heart is still painfully reaching for the man upstairs.

”You’re amazing.” Emma whispers, kissing his shoulder affectionately, “That can’t have been
easy.”

”I want to run after him.” Sirius admits with a sad sigh.

Emma smiles sympathetically, “Do you want to talk about it? The relationship you had together?”

”Will it help?”

”Might do.” Emma shrugs, “Holding everything inside like that is bound to make you go crazy.”

”Have I gone crazy?” Sirius worries, biting the inside of his cheek.

Emma laughs, “No. You’re finally healing.”

So Sirius talks, he offloads and he tells Emmeline everything. He goes as far back as first year
when he first met Remus and became his friend. He talks about third year when he realised he had
a bit of a crush. He talks about fourth year when they kissed at a party and Sirius freaked. Then
fifth year when he got with him, how loved up they were behind closed door. He talked openly
about all their arguments and fights over stupid shit, bickering and unnecessary jabs toward one
another.

”Doesn’t sound like it was a nice relationship.” Emma admits, her eyes flickering with concern.

Sirius shrugs offhandedly, “We pissed each other off, but then when we made up the sex was
fucking incredible.” Sirius looks downcast as he sighs, “We really didn’t fight much but when we
did they lasted awhile. I think it’s because we’re both stubborn but I love him regardless. I think
this is the worst argument we have ever had.”

”That’s an understatement.” Emma mumbles, “He’s hooking up with your brother. I mean.. why
would he do that?”

”You are going to think I’m so naive and dumb but I really don’t think he meant for it to get this
far.” Sirius says, “I mean yeah he is pretty angry with me, like beyond repair but.. I don’t think he
intended to fall in love with Reggie. It just happened.”

”And you’re fine with that?”

”Obviously not.” Sirius mutters heatedly, “I hate it with every single fibre of my being. Nothing
makes me feel more sick to my stomach than that. I would rather be tortured to insanity by my
parents than feel this and have to witness them together. I feel so ill all the time.”

”What would you fight about?” Emma asks out of curiosity.

”My reputation, he always thought I was flirting when I wasn’t, we’d go days without speaking
whenever I was accused. Sometimes I’d flirt on purpose after that, just to show him what flirting
really was.” Sirius shrugs unhappily, “We fought about accidental PDA. One time Remus sat next
to me at dinner and kissed my cheek. I freaked. Anyone could have saw that.. so I yelled at him
about it. We hadn’t seen each other all day, it’s not like he did it on purpose but I lost it. I didn’t
speak to him for a week.”

Emma releases the breath she had been holding, “That really isn’t what relationships are meant to
be like. Not talking for days? Do you realise how unhinged that is? Couples communicate Sirius,
they don’t just ignore each other then fuck and everything is miraculously fine again.”

”Well it worked for us.” Sirius utters shyly, his cheeks burning red at the facts.

Of course Emma was right. He and Remus had been toxic and volatile, they were either on a high
and disgustingly loved up or they were on a low, screaming at each other and getting aggressive
towards one another. There was no in between, it was like a rollercoaster of fucking highs and
lows, no steady pace whatsoever. It didn’t stop him from being addicted to Remus. It didn’t stop
him from needing and wanting him. Sirius felt lost without him, he loved him and he was
dependent on Remus for that high.

“It’s time to be happy on your own.” Emma declares softly, “Find things you love and focus on
them, starting with that Quidditch practice tomorrow.”

Sirius nods in agreement, a faint smile on his face as his heart continues to hurt. They really
weren’t good together, were they? Sirius had only ever seen the relationship between his parents, it
was hostile and loveless..he just assumed what he had with Remus was normal. It never occurred to
him that it was wrong to ignore the people you love, after all that’s what his parents had done his
whole childhood.

Remus listened to every single word. He hated that Emmeline was right. He and Sirius had been
bad for each other but they were so in love that it didn’t matter how awful they were to one
another. The happiness and pleasure outweighed the sting of the fights. The high was worth riding
through the lows. He hated that Emma was the one to call them out like that. He can’t help but
wonder if they were a few years older when they met, would it still have been as toxic? Was it an
age thing as they learnt the trials and tribulations of relationships? Or was it just them?

Reggie and Remus only ever fought once, that was at the start when Reg discovered that Remus
had indeed dated his brother. Since then they hadn’t fought at all, they communicated their
insecurities and issues easily and Remus can’t help but think how simple it is. If Remus tried to
communicate with Sirius it would blow up into an argument but Reg listens. He doesn’t get
defensive and he always calmly explains his point.

He still wasn’t Sirius though.

Regulus lays on his front across his bed, flicking through his book about chronic illnesses.
Whatever was wrong with Remus had really been bothering him, he wasn’t intentionally trying to
snoop or betray his trust but he just wanted to understand it better. None of them matched up to
Remus’ symptoms though. It was pissing him off really that Sirius knew more about his own
boyfriend than he did. He got it, Sirius dated Remus first and Sirius would always have that one up
on him.

He looks up as the door to his dorm opens, expecting to see Evan, he is surprised to see Barty
instead. Barty had distanced himself significantly over the last few weeks, he seemed constantly
twitchy as if something had happened. Reg sits up, his heart racing in his chest as he stares at his
best friend.

”Did you get the mark?”

Barty freezes before turning to look at Reg with a frown, “What? No?”

”Oh. Good. Sorry. You’ve just been so.. weird recently.”

”More weird than usual?” Barty snorts as he starts rummaging through his trunk for something.

”Truthfully yeah.” Reg admits, “I’ve been worried about you.”

”How did you know you liked men?” Barty asks shyly, nervously glancing up and meeting
Reggie’s eyes.

Reg blinks in surprise, “Oh well, I just fancied them? I guess? I liked the look of them but didn’t
feel anything when I looked at girls.”
”Oh.” Barty sighs, sitting on the edge of his bed facing Reg, “I definitely fancy Potter and your
brother.”

”Eugh.” Reg mumbles with disgust, “Get better standards Bart.”

Barty looks down at his hands, “Me and Evan..we..kissed. I haven’t stopped thinking about it
since.”

”You kissed?!” Reggie’s eyes look as if they would fall from his face, “When? When the fuck?”

”A few weeks ago.”

”That’s why you’ve both been so off with each other..” Regulus realises, closing his eyes and
feeling very stupid that he hadn’t noticed sooner.

”He told me he loves me.” Barty continues with a bitter laugh, “Then told me he’s getting married
soon, but we kissed anyway. I took a bit of something that I can’t have.. because he’s getting
married.”

“Barty?” Reg hesitates for a moment, “Do you..?”

”Yeah.” Barty snorts, “I love him.”

James and Peter return from classes and join Emma and Sirius on the sofas. Sirius looks much
more relaxed, but James knows deep down it’s an act. Everything was always an act with Sirius.
He acted happy. He acted dumb. He acted childish. But beneath the surface he was the opposite.
To his great surprise, Lily Evans sits besides him and he stills himself with shock.

There were plenty of other available spots to sit but she willingly chose to sit besides him. Her
strawberry scented shampoo invaded his nostrils and he sneezed, making Lily jump besides him.

”Bless you.” She smiles kindly.

”Thanks..” James manages to say, widening his eyes towards his best friend.

Sirius grins happily for his friend then turns towards Lily to attempt his matchmaking, “Lily. What
do we owe the pleasure?”

”Oh I spoke to Remus.” She says, noticing the shift in the atmosphere, “He told me his secret..”

”He told you?” James asks, his eyebrows raised with concern.

Lily nods, “I know what happened to make you all fall out..”

James stands up and grabs Lily’s hand, pulling her away from the group. Emmeline didn’t know
about Remus’ furry little problem and he wasn’t about to let it slip out. She breaks free from his
hand and scowls at him.

”What the hell, Potter?”

”Emma doesn’t know.” James hisses, “The less people who know, the better! Why did he tell
you?”

”Because I’m his friend and he was sad. He needed to talk about it.”

”I don’t know if you noticed but Sirius is fucking sad too. He doesn’t need his ex boyfriend
 mentioned every five minutes.”

Lily groans, “I didn’t mean anything by it! I was just going to ask if he and Sirius had spoke yet.”

”No we haven’t.” Sirius says from behind them, “What do we possibly have left to talk about?”

”He wants to understand why..”Lily explains softly, glancing at James nervously sensing his
disapproval.

”Why? He wants to know why?” Sirius grumbles, “I’ve already tried telling him why and he didn’t
want to listen to me!”

Lily looks up at Sirius, noticing the sadness in his usually bright eyes and sighs, “He’s ready to
listen now.”

Sirius laughs, “Well that ship sailed now, Evans. I don’t want to anymore. Tell him I wish him and
Reggie the best of luck, I hope they make each other absolutely miserable.”

James stares after Sirius as he walks away and rejoins Emma and Peter. James knew better than
anyone, he didn’t mean what he said. He was putting on a brave face and trying to move on, he
couldn’t help but be proud of him for it. He was standing his ground and wasn’t letting people hurt
him any more, James was certain that Sirius couldn’t handle much more.

”Let it go, Lily.” James whispers, keeping his eyes on his best friend, “He can’t take much more
and if Remus ever loved him, then he would let him go.”

Chapter End Notes

French translations:

J’aimerais ne pas tomber amoureuse de lui..mais jai..- I wish I didn’t fall in love with
him..But I

Il a cet effet sur les gens, la moitiè de l’ècole est amoureuse de lui. - He has that effect
on people, half of the school are in love with him.

Mais Sirius, je veux mon frère plus que je ne le veux. Si nous pouvons nous arranger,
je le quitterai. Je ferai n'importe quoi! Je veux juste que mon grand frère revienne - But
Sirius, I want my brother more than I want him. If we can fix us, then I will leave him.
I will do anything! I just want my big brother back.

C'est trop tard. Tu l'as déjà baisé. - It’s too late. You already fucked him.

S'il te plaît Sirius, tu es mon frère!- Please Sirius, you’re my brother!

J'allais l'épouser j'ai une bague tu sais? Juste pour lui. Remus était mon avenir. - I was
going to marry him. I have a ring you know? Just for him. Remus was my future.

So much angst ahahaha I’m nervous I am sad idk what is happening but breathe.
 Chapter 19
Chapter Notes

TRIGGER WARNING
-homophobia and the use of a slur

Bit nervous about posting this update tbh, a few people have expressed their confusion
with all the ships even though it makes sense to me so I am sorry it doesn’t make
sense this is my first fic and admittedly got carried away with where it could go even
tho I know what happens and the conclusion it reaches so idk I’m just sorry

French translations at the end

See the end of the chapter for more notes

James wakes up drenched in sweat on the day of the full moon, he feels sick to his stomach. It had
crept up on him out of nowhere, he had no time to prepare for what was to come and now the day
has arrived. Sirius stirs beside him, then abruptly sits up and stares at his sweaty best friend. James
looked like utter shit. His hair was stuck up, he had bags under his eyes and was still panting from
whatever nightmare had disturbed his peace.

”You alright Prongs?”

James shakes his head, “I don’t feel well.”

Sirius wraps his arm around James, not minding the warm sweat one bit in James’ time of need.
James rests his head against Sirius’ chest as he shakes a little. He knew he should have asked
Remus more questions when he had chance but he was too distracted and too afraid to face it.

“Will you still be there tonight?” James asks quietly, daring to look into Sirius’ eyes.

”Of course James.” Sirius nods convincingly, “I won’t let you go without me.”

James sniffs, “I get it if you can’t do it, if you don’t want to be around Moony.”

Sirius scoffs, putting on the same act again, “I do not care for Remus Lupin.”

James doubts it very much, but Sirius had finally reached the end of his tether. He was really going
to move on this time, James could feel it in his bones. At that moment, Remus comes through the
dormitory doors, his eyes linger on Sirius for a moment, who purposefully looks away from him.
James sniffs again, grabbing Remus’ attention as he starts wiping his eyes on his pyjama sleeve.
Remus’ heart stills at the sight of James crying, he was so scared and there wasn’t anything Remus
could do to take that fear away. Remus steps a little closer then holds up a small pouch, he tosses it
to James who catches it easily with both hands and no warning.

”Quidditch reflexes still intact.” He jokes, frowning at the pouch, “What is this?”

”Aconite.” Remus mumbles, “Eat it. It should ease some of the pain.”
James opens it and sniffs it curiously, “Isn’t there a better way?”

”Its fairly new.” Remus shrugs sadly, “It’ll make you gag but the change will hurt less.”

”Nothing to make it not hurt at all?” James mumbles, eyeing the violet purple flowers.

”Sorry mate, if there was I’d get it for you. Aconite is all we have.”

Remus wanders into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. The sofa in the hidden room
wasn’t the most comfortable of places to sleep but it was better than making everyone in their
dormitory tense. Regulus had offered to sneak him into the old potion masters room, but Remus
was certain that Reg would stay with him and he didn’t feel like that right now. His body was
aching and tender all over and he couldn’t stop snapping at everyone, especially Reggie.

Remus was struggling badly, but he wouldn’t dare ask for help. His entire life he had been treated
like an outcast or an inconvenience, his Father was ashamed and wouldn’t talk to him when he
needed him. People always looked at him funny, even the marauders on the first day of school.
They might not remember that but he did. Everyone treated him as though he might break, as if he
were fragile and weak.His sanity was the only thing that made him appear strong, but he was
starting to crack.

Sirius takes the pouch from James and opens it up, he grabs some of the petals and holds them to
James, “Open up big boy.”

James snorts and rolls his eyes but does as he’s told. It’s immediate. The dryness in his mouth, the
way his throat seems to close up and force him to cough. He can’t swallow them, his body
attempting to reject the one thing that would help him today. He looks at Sirius desperately as he
tries to force them down. James splutters and struggles, the leaves falling out of his mouth and
leaving him struggling for air.

”Fuck.” James whinges, “I hate that.”

Sirius holds one of the flowers between his fingers, he twists and turns it admiring it closely and
hums to himself as his brain starts working away. James watches as Sirius gets out of bed, taking
with him the rest of the aconite. He starts rummaging around his trunk, doing a sniff test to find
somewhat decently smelling clothes to wear.

Remus walks out of the bathroom as Sirius stands in his trousers, his white shirt still undone as he
tries to find his tie. Remus’ eyes wander to Sirius’ abs and the trail of hairs below his belly button
leading to..James clears his throat. Remus looks at him, receiving a deadly glare and nods
awkwardly, keeping his head trained to the floor as he walks to his own bed.

”Prongs?” Sirius demands, “What are you doing? Get a move on! Dèpêchez-vous.”

Remus stills at the sound of Sirius talking French, he rarely did it but the sound of it was heavenly.
He hated being associated with his family in any way and the French was a big way to be known as
a Black- Toujours Pur. He zones the sound of shuffling feet and low mumbling as he carries on
rummaging for his essay. He was meeting Regulus at the library shortly but wanted to make sure
Sirius didn’t know. He was going to be late, he could see James struggling and maybe Reg would
understand, if he knew about the furry little problems.

When Sirius goes to the bathroom, Remus makes his great escape, hesitating by the door before
turning to look at James, “It’ll be okay. The more nervous you are, the more it hurts.I know it’s
impossible but try to relax, yeah?”
“Thanks Remus.” James whispers sincerely.

”I’ll see you all at the shack later?”

James nods, “Sirius too.”

”I know, it’ll be okay. We’re all here for you James. You’re the priority today, all the drama is
irrelevant.” Remus says truthfully.

”Exactly.” Sirius nods from the bathroom door, “You’re the most important. Now go brush your
teeth so we can get a move on.”

James glances between Remus and Sirius, he didn’t want to leave them alone for a fight to break
out. Sirius sternly raises his eyebrow at James, he didn’t want to be kept waiting. He was pretty
sure he could help with the aconite issue, he just needed to double check some things in the library
first. Remus leaves awkwardly, an obvious question on his tongue that he avoids asking. Sirius is
relieved when he leaves, the room feeling lighter without his ex around.

Remus slides into the seat besides Regulus and starts taking his things from his bag, setting them
on the table in front of him. Reg closes his book, looks at Remus for a moment. He really did care
about the older boy, but he could no longer avoid the nagging feeling in his head and in his heart.
Remus was keeping things from him, he wasn’t sure what but he was certain of it.

”We need to talk, Rem.” Reggie says, Remus stills then looks up to meet Regulus’ eyes, his eyes
searching for answers.

”What about? Are you alright?” Remus frowns, “Is it the Slytherins?”

Reg groans, Remus was unintentionally making this conversation harder than it needed to be. Why
did he have to care so much?

”I-“

He’s interrupted by the loud sound of Sirius and James chatting as they walk into the library. They
both receive a stern hushing from Madame Pince, both laughing as they walk away from her.
Sirius’ seems to freeze as he sees his brother and Remus sat together, he stares at them for a
moment then remembers why he’s here and carries on. James follows him closely, offering small
smiles to them both as he walks away.

”What were you going to say?” Remus asks after a beat of silence.

”Not here.” Reg mumbles, going back to his book.

Sirius and James return with a large stack of books each, they dump them onto the only available
table just two away from Remus and Regulus. Sirius gets stuck in straight away, flicking through
pages desperately as he tries to find some answers. James has a look through a different book at a
much slower pace, adjusting his glasses every few minutes.

Remus keeps looking over his paper towards the two friends, wondering what on Earth them two
were doing in the library. In all the years he had known them they had never come willingly,
especially to study. He wishes he knew what they were up to, it was probably an elaborate plan for
a prank or something, which was only further theorised by the late arrival of Peter.

Peter too starts flipping through a book, looking incredibly bored and put out by the entire thing.
Remus feels shut out, usually it would have been all four of them sat together planning the pranks.
He can feel Reggie watching him, so side eyes him and offers a small unconvincing smile.

“You miss how it was.” Reg whispers quietly, his eyes drifting towards Sirius, “I miss him too.”

”I am sorry that I made things worse between you both.”

Reg shakes his head, “Things were never going to improve between us. He thinks I’m too much
like our parents because I wouldn’t leave them behind when he asked. I mean..they’re my parents,
they must love us right? And if we just behaved and did things right then they wouldn’t have
punished us..”

”No.” Remus shakes his head, frowning with concern, “No it’s not-no. Your parents wouldn’t hurt
you if they loved you. Not in the way they do to you.”

”You’re wrong Remus.” Reg insists, “They do love me.”

”Reg-“

“You’re wrong!” He snaps, “If they don’t love me then who does? I have nobody Remus.”

”That’s not true.” Remus whispers, noticing Reggie’s voice getting louder, “You have me.”

”You don’t love me, Remus.” Reggie mumbles, shaking his head, “You don’t.”

“But I do.”

Reggie slams his book shut, “I am not Sirius.” he hisses.

”I know Reg, I do know that.”

”You don’t love me.” He repeats again, “You love the idea of me. You love the potential. You
love what could be, Remus. But you do not love me.”

”No I do!”

Regulus groans with annoyance, he stands to his feet slamming his hands down onto the table,
“YOU LOVE HIM.”

Regulus is shaking, pointing his finger directly towards his older brother. Everyone in the library is
silent, all eyes on them. Reg grabs his book, holding it tightly against his chest as he makes his
way out of the library, keeping his head down to avoid the onlookers stares. Remus scrambles up
after him, rushing down the corridor to try and catch up but that second of hesitation was enough.

Reggie was right.

Sirius keeps reading, he can feel James and Peter looking at him but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t
care. He doesn’t care. He wishes Emma was there right now, she would do and say the right thing
and keep his mind occupied with things other than Remus Lupin. He flips the page and bingo! He’s
finally found exactly what he’s after, the thoughts of Remus disappear and are replaced but the
excitement of aconite.

”Look!” He points to the page, showing James excitedly, “I fucking knew we could liquidise it.”

James glances at Sirius before nodding at the page, “It won’t be ready for two weeks though..”

”But we have something we can do next month.” Sirius offers optimistically, “You can choose
how you want it. You want it in your tea? Firewhiskey? I’ll make it happen.”

”Thanks Pads.” James smiles, then glances over at Remus’ abandoned stuff.

”Wonder what all that shouting was about..” Peter murmurs, “He was definitely pointing at you.”

James pulls a face at Peter, desperately trying to get his expression to translate shut up. Pete looks
confused as James’ face switches and his eyebrows wriggle aimlessly on his face.

”Trouble in paradise.” Sirius supplies with a lazy shrug, “It’s got fuck all to do with me.”

“You really don’t care anymore?” Pete asks dumbly.

Sirius snorts, “Only way I’ll ever step in again is if Remus ever hurts my brother.”

”What do you mean?”

”If they ever get physically violent.” Sirius explains, “Reggie needs me then and it’s the only time
I’ll ever..anyway.. they’ll be fine. It’s probably the first time they’ve ever even fought.”

Remus doesn’t manage to find Regulus, his legs hurt too much and his bones feel as if they’re
going to erupt into flames and burn to nothing but ash. The full moon always caused him crippling
agony and aches, it was bad on the days leading up to the moon but somehow the day after was
even worse. He hadn’t mentioned that to James, he just wanted to get James through his first night.

He sits on the broken springy couch in the shack, waiting for the others to arrive. He didn’t know
what their plan was but assumed they would all be arriving together as usual. Although
Dumbledore preferred Remus to go before dinner, maybe a different rule had been made for James
to avoid suspicion. He prayed Regulus was okay. He had never seen him react like that before, he
was genuinely concerned for him.

As more and more time passes, Remus starts to worry that they’re not coming. He feels sick with
nerves, the wolf growing restless within the closer and closer the moon came. At long last the trap
door opens, Sirius steps through. He brushes the dust off his clothes then closes the door, he
frowns at Remus then looks at the otherwise empty room.

It felt weird, almost invasive being back in the shack after so many weeks. He knew he was in
Remus’ territory here and didn’t want to overstep any boundaries or rules in place. He can’t help
but be over aware that they’re completely by themselves.

”Where are the others?”

”I thought they were coming with you?” Remus puzzles, looking extremely uncomfortable.

Sirius shakes his head, “No? I had Quidditch practice..”

”James wasn’t at Quidditch practice?” Remus asks with confusion, “He’s the captain?”

”I’m standing in for him so he can heal over this weekend.. the match is Sunday..”Sirius explains
nervously looking out of the window, “He’s really not here yet?”

Remus shakes his head, “He needs to come soon. I can feel it, the moon will be rising in the next
few minutes.”

Sirius presses his nose against the glass on the shack, his eyes widening at the sight of the moon in
the distance. Shit. James wasn’t here yet. James wasn’t here and it was his very first moon. Where
the fuck could James possibly be?

”Find him.” Remus says, the panic clear in his voice, “You need to find him.”

Sirius nods and rushes towards the trap door, at that moment it opens. Sirius falls back as the door
smacks his chin, then he crawls back over and sees James and Peter in his rat form. He lowers his
hand, pulling James through who sighs in relief as he falls onto the floor, resting his eyes.

”James!” Sirius scolds, “You bloody wanker! The moons almost up!”

”Sorry I got cornered by Lily, she wanted to know when I got a pet rat.” James smirks, nodding
towards Wormtail, “Said he’s called Primrose.”

Sirius can’t help but laugh, “Merlin! I’m glad you made it on time.”

”Sorry for leaving you alone together..”James mumbles awkwardly, “I..did you talk?”

”Just about where you were.” Remus shrugs, feeling exhausted.

James sighs, “I spoke to Lily again.. I think you two need to speak properly.”

”There’s nothing to say.” Sirius says immediately, “Nothing I say will change anything. What’s
already happened has happened and this is it now.”

”I want to know why.” Remus says, his voice barely a whisper.

Sirius runs his hand through his hair, “It doesn’t change anything.”

”It doesn’t change anything.” Remus agrees, “But I still want to know why.”

”I forgot.” Sirius breathes out shakily, the same guilty expression on his face from all those months
ago, “I forgot it was the full moon.”

Flashback to The Prank:

Sirius rounded the corner feeling flustered from crying, the letter from home officially disowning
him had hurt more than he ever imagined. He didn’t love his parents, they didn’t love him but it
hurt. He was only a child when he first realised and understood that he and his brother only had
each other but Reg had chosen them. For some reason Regulus thought he would be enough to
earn their love, but Walburga and Orion were incapable as proven so by the letter that burnt a
hole in his back pocket.

It was honestly just Sirius’ luck that he would bump straight into Severus Snape and his little
Slytherin friends of all people. Sirius instantly grabbed for his wand in his robes as Snape
snickered.

”He’s been crying boys.” Severus laughs, pointing his wand at him, “Maybe we should do some of
those hexes on him like we did to Remus. Only gay boys cry after all..Remus cried like a baby when
we carved words into his skin, you’d think he was used to it with all the ugly scars he has.”

”Shut up.” Sirius snarls rounding on Severus keeping his wand pointed.

”He’s defending his little boyfriend.. how cute!” Severus tilts his head back with laughter, “I
always thought it was you and Potter but nice to see you still carry the charitable aspect of your
family name.”
”I heard you got disowned. Regulus told me, poor little thing. He was so upset but now he had a
brother in me. The one you could never step up to be.” Snape continues to taunt, feeling an
increase of confidence as the boys behind him laugh.

“Stupefy!” Snape says lazily, waving his wand and making Sirius fly backwards against the wall.

Sirius stands to his feet shakily, his wand pointing at Snape. Somehow without a word, Snape
manages to hit Sirius with yet another spell. Sirius tumbles to the floor and looks at Snape, his face
twisted up in confusion- how on earth had he managed to do that? It was powerful magic. Stuff
beyond their years, it took a lifetime to perform such spells but Severus had managed it.

”Fight then.”Snape demands with a bored tone, “Get up and fight! Can’t fight without your little
boyfriends hmm? You little queer. No wonder Mummy and Daddy disowned you.”

”How did you-“

”Magic.” Snape says sarcastically, “Its my secret weapon. People like you will never be able to
compare to I. You will never compare to people as powerful as the Dark Lord.”

Sirius swallows at the mention of Voldemort, the reason he had run away to the Potters was
because they had attempted to make him join. They were willing to torture him, willing to force him
and if he didn’t leave, he would be marked right now.

”We have our own secret weapon.” Sirius smirks, meeting Severus’ eyes, “We have something
powerful too.”

”You’re full of shit.” Snape laughs, “Voldemort has thought of everything, including your little
brother.”

Sirius falters, his face paling, “What? Reggie?”

”As soon as he has proven worthy.”

”He’s a kid.” Sirius frowns, “He’s just a kid.”

Snape laughs, “And a very powerful kid at that.”

”Meet me at the shrieking shack alone tonight at 7pm.” Sirius says numbly, “I’ll show you how we
will defeat the Dark Lord, but you won’t be alive to tell the story.”

Snape laughs in amusement and walks away with his gang of crooks, Sirius feels a heavy anxiety
weighing in his chest. The letter continues burning in his pocket, making him more than aware of
its existence and he continues with his day. He laughs with his friends at lunch, he steals kisses in
an alcove with Remus between lessons and then he goes back to the common room after dinner.
Just like any other day.

“So you did send him to the shack to face the wolf then?” James points out with confusion.

”No.” Sirius shakes his head, “I sent him to the shack to meet me.”

Remus frowns, “I don’t get it.”

”I just wanted to scare him! I was going to go there and then turn into Padfoot and shit him up a
little bit! That’s all!” Sirius yells, tugging at his hair frustratedly, “I-I thought the full moon was the
next day! I didn’t know you were there until James and Peter found me.”
James staggers back into the wall, staring at Sirius in disbelief after all these months..

”You really weren’t using me as a weapon?” Remus asks quietly, his eyes unable to meet Sirius’
face.

”No. I’d never do that.” Sirius whispers his words catching in his throat, “I could never do that to
you.”

”Fuck.” James whispers horrified, “Why didn’t you tell me? When we made up? Why didn’t you
fucking say something?”

Sirius looks at James with sad eyes, “I wanted Remus to know the truth first.”

A deafening crack sounds from where Remus is sat hunched over, his spine starts snapping and his
arms stretch uncomfortably as the moon rises above them. James looks at Sirius with a panicked
expression.

”I can’t do that.” James whispers backing away as if he can escape what’s coming, “I can’t.”

”You can.” Sirius tells him sternly, “Because you’re James Potter and you can do anything.”

Remus is forced to his feet as he lets out a horrifying howl, James stares at Sirius who quickly
transforms into Padfoot. James swallows nervously and waits for the transformation, if Remus
Lupin could do it every month then so could he. If Remus had to go through it, why shouldn’t
James? He closes his eyes, bracing himself for the inevitable snap of his back…but nothing
happens.

He opens his eyes, stares down at his still human hands and looks straight at the fully formed wolf
of Remus. Padfoot starts barking crazily towards James, his eyes wide with fear and confusion.
James checks his arm where the teeth marks were still evident on his skin.

He had definitely been bitten… why wasn’t he changing?

Padfoot launches at Moony as he starts sniffing towards James, he growls down at the wolf as
Moony struggles to release himself. James still confused transforms into his stag, standing with his
rear against the wall in disbelief. He wasn’t a werewolf..

Regulus sits with Barty in the Slytherin common room, he’s trying to study for upcoming potions
but Barty is fidgeting. He keeps straining his head to look behind him at Evan Rosier, it’s quite
stupid really. Reg wishes they’d just sort it out so he didn’t have to split his time between his two
friends. Barty straightens up suddenly, then slouches down and leans on his hand in an attempt to
look casual as Evan comes over with Snape,Mulciber and Avery.

”It’s the full moon tonight.” Snape says as he sits down on the opposite sofa, rising his eyebrow
pointedly at Reg, “The Dark Lord is very interested in recruiting half breeds for the greater good.”

”Is he?” Reg asks not looking up from the sentence he is on.

Snape laughs dryly, “You mean you haven’t noticed? I thought you and Loopy Lupin were pretty
close..especially given that little display in the Great Hall the other day.”

Mulciber and Avery laugh childishly at the call out. Evan doesn’t react despite being stood with
them instead of on Reggie’s side. He nervously looks at Barty, he wishes he feels nothing but his
heart sinks when Barty looks away after a quick look into Evans piercing blue eyes.
”What?” Reg frowns, finally closing his book and giving Snape the attention he came for.

“He is your boyfriend is he not?”Mulciber hisses.

”Do you take it up the arse or does he?” Avery snickers, brushing shoulders with Mulciber as they
both laugh.

Regulus stiffens, his hand brushing over his wand in his pocket. He knew the Slytherins were
against gay people, they were all homophobic bigoted sexist idiots.He feels Barty moving besides
him, reaching for his own wand. He always had Reggie’s back, no matter what and Reg would be
eternally grateful to him to never have to face things alone. Snape gives his followers a pointed
look, they all grumble in disapproval as they disperse including Evan.

“Where is it you think he goes every month?” Snape asks lowering his voice, “Funny isn’t it? How
he always ends up in hospital the day after the full moon?”

”He is not a werewolf.” Reg boldly states, “You’re off your rocker Severus.”

”Am I?” Snape smirks leaning back in his seat, “Perhaps you need to have a nice little think about
it. If you introduce him to Voldemort, well.. I think you’ll be on your way joining us in no time and
perhaps they will even overlook your little illness..”

”Illness?”Reg blinks with innocent confusion.

”Being a faggot.”

With that Severus stands to his feet, rejoining his friends on the other side of the common room.
They talk in low whispers, let out obnoxious loud laughs as they obviously side eye Reg, making
him incredibly uncomfortable.After a few minutes, Regulus and Barty go to their dorm room
instead, he was scared of a fight breaking out. He knew the Slytherins would hex him for being gay
at some point but the longer he could avoid it, the better.

Barty stares at Regulus as he starts pacing. There was no way Severus was telling the truth,
Dumbledore would never allow a werewolf to roam the school. Hogwarts was the safest place in
the world, heavily x-rated beasts definitely would not be allowed. He continues pacing. He thinks
of his boyfriend and his mystery illness, last month when he was in the hospital wing with James-
that had been after a full moon. He had deep cuts, he had always had scars.. his moods changed as
the moon cycles did.

”Bloody hell.” Reg mutters, finally falling on to his bed.

Barty swallows, “Was he telling the truth?”

”I think so..”

Remus forces his eyes to remain closed, he can hear the chatter of his friends around his bed but he
can’t face them. Not after last night’s revelation.. if he had just listened to Sirius from the start ,
then he would have had the full story and it never would have reached this point. Sirius had said it
didn’t change anything but it did, it changed a lot. Sirius hadn’t intentionally tried to harm him, he
was just a little stupid and it was a mistake, an accident even. What Remus did was not a mistake
nor an accident, he went out of his way to hurt Sirius.

Remus still could have killed Snape or James though, maybe even both. If things had been even
slightly different..he would have done more than cut them a little. But Sirius not using him as
weapon in his fight against Snape? That made a huge difference to the overall turn of events.
He still didn’t understand why Sirius had chosen the Shrieking Shack of all places though. It
seemed logical to avoid attention to that place all together, he still made that decision didn’t he?

Remus didn’t just want to hurt Sirius, he was also just trying to make himself happier. He had been
so fucking unhappy, his anger towards Sirius was just to reflect away from the hurt. His boyfriend
had destroyed his trust, taken away his safe place and everything Remus had worked so hard to
achieve could have been taken away, all because Sirius was fucking reckless.

Remus just wanted to be happier. He was happy with Regulus, but happier? That was questionable,
Remus couldn’t really remember the last time he was happy. He was just existing and trying his
best, but wasn’t everyone? Sirius certainly wasn’t happy, nor was Regulus or their friends.
Everyone was miserable.

”Oh! Hey Reg.” Sirius greets awkwardly, Remus hears the scraping of his chair as he moves.

”No it’s fine.” Reg mutters, “I just want to know if it’s true.”

”Is what true?” James asks, his mind going elsewhere- thinking of more potential stolen moments
between his two friends.

”Is he a werewolf?” Reg asks somewhat angrily, “He is isn’t he?!”

Sirius pales as he tries to step forward, “Reg-“

”Reggie.” Remus calls out weakly as he opens his eyes, “Come here.”

Regulus hesitantly goes to Remus’ bedside, he admires a new scar across Remus’ cheek and
shudders, “You are.. aren’t you?”

”Yeah.” Remus whispers fearfully, “I am.”

”I don’t.. how are you here? Dumbledore-“

Remus pushes himself up, resting his head against the headboard of the hospital bed, “Dumbledore
made it happen..I’m not sure why. I was just a kid, dreaming of coming to school and for some
reason..Dumbledore helped.”

”Right.” Reg frowns for a minute, “Get well soon, Remus.”

”What? Where are you going?”

“I was disowned by my brother remember? I’m dead to him.” Reggie supplies with a bitter scoff,
“Glad you two are so friendly again though.”

Sirius groans as he watches his brother leave the hospital room, James nudges him and nods
towards the door. Sirius grumbles with annoyance before darting out of the hospital wing after him.
He catches Regulus in the corridor, grabbing onto his sleeve and forces him to turn around. Reg
shoves his brother in the chest, Sirius snorts as he doesn’t stumble at all from the impact.

”Merlin Reg.” Sirius mumbles, “What the fuck is going on? You just left your boyfriend-“

”He’s a fucking werewolf.”

Sirius looks taken aback, “He’s just Remus.”

”Yeah.. I know.” Reg looks guilty as he avoids Sirius’ eyes, “I..I’m supposed to be breaking up
 with him.”

”Breaking up with him?” Sirius looks disgusted, “Because of his condition?”

Reg shakes his head, “Fucking hell Sirius! Have a little fucking faith in me! I am not Maman et
Papa!”

“I know that Reggie! But what I don’t understand is why did you choose to stay with them? If
you’re not like them!”

“Pour que tu sois libre, Sirius. They never would have let us both go.”

Sirius exhales sharply, “Shit Reg..”

”When Remus was poorly last month, when you heard me tell him I love him.. he thought I was
you.” Reg admits quietly, noticing the way Sirius’ eyes flicker through different emotions, “He
was hurt and he was asking for you. I knew from that moment really.. but I just wanted..fuck.” Reg
laughs to fight the tears away, “I just wanted to be loved.”

”You are loved Reggie.” Sirius tells him without hesitation.

Reg scoffs and shakes his head, “Maman et Papa?”

”Non.” Sirius whispers, “Par moi.”

”You love me?” Reg asks like a little scared kid.

Sirius just nods and then envelopes his baby brother into his arms. He kisses the top of his curls
and holds him tightly, Reg clings onto him needily. He never felt safer anywhere than in his
brothers arms.

”I’m sorry I left you behind Regulus.” Sirius whispers into his ear.

”I’m sorry I dated Remus.” Reg says back, “I just wanted you to notice me and then-“

”You caught feelings? I know.” Sirius smiles gently, “It’s alright.”

Reg swallows and pulls away from his brothers arms, he looks Sirius in the eyes and chews his lips
as he puts his words in order. “He still loves you, Sirius. I think.. I think he loves me, but he’s in
love with you. I think.. you two are just.. you’re meant to be together, you know what I mean?”

”Yeah.” Sirius mutters, “I know what you mean, Reg but.. I can’t just.. you guys have had se-“

“Please.” Reg cringes, “I don’t want to talk about sex with you.”

Sirius laughs a little, “Okay. All you need to know is that I can’t just.. forgive him.”

”Will you at least try?” Reg asks quietly, “I just want both of you to be safe and happy.”

”I think we could be friends.” Sirius says after a long moment, “All of us can be mates. I want my
baby brother back too.”

Chapter End Notes

Dèpêchez-vous- hurry up
Maman et Papa- mum and dad
Pour que tu sos libre, Sirius- for you to be free, Sirius.
Non. Par moi. - No. By me.

Scream at me if you want I understand but in my defence, I think the Black brothers
becoming brothers again is important. Too many fics have them hating eachother
man the more I’ve written this fic the more I realise that Reg will always choose his
brother (just like Sirius will always choose James hehe) so it just makes sense to me
that despite his own feelings he would leave Remus bc he can see how painful it is for
Sirius and he can see that Remus ain’t over his brother at all.

Also Reg knows he’s going to be joining the death eaters so that’s just another reason
bc he refuses to introduce Remus to Voldemort. He loves Remus and sometimes when
you love people it’s about whatever makes them happiest xo

Anyways yay for James not having a furry little problem- this is explained next
chapter dw

Going to try and update at least once more this week but then taking a break as I’m
scared of what y’all are gonna say
 Chapter 20
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Remus forces himself to attend the Gryffindor VS Slytherin quidditch match on Sunday. He still
feels like utter crap, his entire body is tender and aching but refuses to let Peter sit alone in the
stands. Both James and Sirius were playing despite Sirius not actually being on the team, he was
filling in for Emmeline who had mysteriously fell ill after learning Sirius wouldn’t be playing at
all.

She was sat with Lily and Peter in the Gryffindor stands, looking as healthy as ever. Remus knew
she had been faking to appease Sirius and give him this one thing to look forward to. He gingerly
took his seat besides Peter who grinned at him happily, before turning back to Lily for a moment.
Once they had finished what they were in the middle of, Pete turns back to Remus.

“Who are you cheering for?” Pete asks rising his eyebrows, “Your boyfriends team or your
house?”

Remus pulls a face, “My house?”

”Oh good!” Peter nods, “Don’t have to banish you to the other-side now.”

Remus rolls his eyes playfully, then reaches into his bag for his book. He really didn’t care for
Quidditch nor did he understand even the most basic of the rules. He just knew that hot men wore
tight pants that accentuate their bum cheeks and as the castle gay, he had to keep his eyes firmly on
his book otherwise he would never hear the end of it. Everyone in the stand around him erupts into
deafening applause and screams, Peter whistles obnoxiously as the Gryffindor team emerges.

He chances a look, seeing James and Sirius leading the rest of the team out to the pitch with their
broomsticks in hand, waving them above their heads at the adoring crowds. Sirius has his hair tied
back, looking every bit the part of a fucking god. Girls squeal as he blows kisses at them,James
laughs and copies feeling smug as the girls cheer and fan themselves. Remus rolls his eyes fondly,
knowing both of them basked in the fame and glory. They both thrived off the attention they got
especially from the girls.

It makes him feel quite ill, he knows exactly what will happen if they win and how Sirius will
celebrate. In the past he had always celebrated with Remus but now they were broken up it would
be someone else. Remus side eyes Emma, his heart sinking a little bit. He knows it’s stupid, he
cant feel this way after everything that had happened recently but no one has control over their
feelings really do they? If it were up to Remus, he wouldn’t feel anything at all for anyone. It
would save a whole lot of trouble.

The Gryffindor stands quieten down as the Slytherins start emerging. The Slytherin supporters
bang their feet on the ground and cheer some stupid chant about Gryffindor loosing. Remus
watches as the team make their way across the pitch, the team captain Mulciber, stands in front of
James with a nasty snarl slapped across his face. Regulus stands at the very back behind the rest of
his team, his broomstick grasped tightly in both hands.

The new flying teacher, Madam Hooch forces the two team captains to shake hands. The two boys
hesitate before reaching across, James glares at Mulciber and says something arrogant under his
breath. Mulciber just laughs.
”Good luck Reggie!” Sirius calls over his shoulder as they split away from each other to mount
their brooms.

James shoots Sirius a look, “Oi! I’m all for you two getting on but wish him bad luck! We want to
win.”

Reg presses his lips together to hide his delight and amusement. Sirius rolls his eyes and snorts at
James’ competitiveness. James had always put Quidditch above everything else, it was as if
nothing else mattered on the pitch except the game. Sirius got it, truly he did because once he was
in the air- he was free. He could feel the wind in his hair and his quidditch robes, nothing could
harm him in the sky. All his problems stayed down below, flying left him feeling relaxed.James
however, was definitely just competitive.

The match starts off strongly, both teams manage to score within the first few minutes, making
them tie. Remus keeps reading his book, but his eyes unintentionally look up the moment the
audience gasps or shrieks. The idea of someone he cares about getting hurt is far more important
than seeing what happened in Of mice and men. He keeps his eyes glued to Sirius in the end,
watching as he dangerous speeds and dodges the Slytherins sending the ball into the hoop and
scoring again. Forever the show off, he whoops loudly and does a loop-de-loop then freezes as he
sees Remus’ eyes on him.

“PADFOOT!” James screams angrily, “Get your head in the game!”

”Aye aye captain!” Sirius salutes, rushing off towards the other side of the pitch.

Regulus notices Remus keeping his eye on Sirius and he knows he needs to call it off as soon as
possible. He keeps staring at Remus, watching as his eyes follow Sirius in the air. Oddly, he
doesn’t feel bitter or hurt from it, part of him always knew that they belonged together. He always
knew he was once again just second best to his big brother.

”REG! LOOK OUT!” Sirius screams horrified.

Reggie gets smacked in the chest by the bludger before he has chance to react, his grasp loosens
from the broomstick as the ball throws him off and he falls down to the ground. He feels his chest
bruising almost immediately as he tumbles in the air.

”ARRESTO MOMENTUM!” Professor Slughorn bellows, breaking Regulus’ fall.

Reg lays down on the grass below, his head hurting as he forces himself to sit up. James and Sirius
are by his side in seconds, Sirius pulling Regulus to his feet and giving him a quick once over.
Only Evan from his own team bothers to come down and check on him. He’s fine though.

“Shit Reg.” Sirius mutters, “You all good?”

”MR CROUCH?!” Bellows Madame Hooch.

Barty comes running over from where he’s been benched. With his broomstick in hand he glances
nervously between his friends and their flying teacher. He stares at Reg questionably, in all their
years of being on the team- Reg had never hurt himself. He was one of the best.

“You’re on.” She instructs, “Regulus go to the bench please, Madame Pomfrey will check you
over.”

Reg nods stiffly, dragging his broom across the grounds. Sirius watches him go, concern evident in
his eyes as James pulls him away. All Sirius wanted was for Reg to be safe, he knew it would be
stupid to ask him to quit quidditch when he did it himself but it really was such a dangerous sport to
participate in. Regulus was obviously distracted by something, he was a beast on his broom usually
and being thrown off was something that had never happened before.

Even James seems concerned but keeps his mind focused on winning. He didn’t have time for
distractions, even if it was Regulus being benched out of everyone. Sirius honestly would go as far
as saying Regulus was a better player than James. He was agile, fast and capable of doing things
that himself and James could only ever dream off. It was like the broom and Reg merged into one,
he was able to dodge things with ease (ordinarily) and once the snitch was seen by his eyes- no one
stood a chance because of the sheer speed Reg took.

The game continues with the sound of Madame Hooch’s whistle. Reg watches as his brother and
James team up to confuse the Slytherins, it’s something they had done their entire time of being on
the team and yet no one had figured out the trick. It was a true mind fuck, the way they just knew
to fly off and come back together at the right time, making Slytherins crash into each other. They
didn’t need to communicate it, they just did it like two of the same mind.

Remus hesitates before sitting down besides Reg, the younger boy stiffens knowingly and turns his
head to face him. He notices a new scar is healing along his jaw and it makes him feel so dumb for
never realising until Severus had told him. It was so obvious now he knew. All the signs,
symptoms and traits were there and Reg just hadn’t clocked on. He wouldn’t say the ministry’s
version of the werewolf was accurate though, nothing about Remus screamed terrible monster. He
was just a boy who had been handed a horrible fate to deal with and live with.

He was still just Remus Lupin though.

”That was terrifying.” Remus mumbles.

Reg nods, “Yeah.. if they didn’t do the spell I would have splattered to my death for sure.”

”Graphic.” Remus cringes, placing his unfinished book on the bench between them.

”Of mice and men?” Reg asks reading the title, “Have you reached the part where Lennie kills
Curley’s wife?”

Remus’ eyes widen, “He does what?!”

”Shit, sorry!” Reg blushes feeling bad, “That’s not the worst part..don’t worry.”

”Merlin.” Remus whispers, “So, they don’t get their happy ending then?”

Reg snorts, “Didn’t have you down for a sap.”

”I’m a gay bloke Reg, of course I have a bit of sap in me.” Remus furrows his eyebrows, “That
sounds so wrong.”

Regulus just laughs unable to hide his amusement and immaturity. Sirius looks down at the bench
and sees Remus and Reg laughing together, his heart hurting in his chest. James claps him on the
back supportively, making him turn and continue the game. He pushes the thoughts of Remus and
Reggie to the back of his mind.

Reg stops laughing and sighs, “Remus, I really do need to talk to you.”

”I think I know where this is going.” Remus admits with a small shrug, looking into Reggie’s eyes.
He had seen it coming for weeks but somehow they danced around it, they always ended up kissing
and having sex and continuing like there was no doubts between them whatsoever.

”I was already planning on it before I found out about your furry little problem.” He explains
firstly, he didn’t want him to ever think it was the werewolf that had put him off because it wasn’t.

“But Remus, I am not Sirius.” He continues gently, talking slowly and calmly, “I don’t doubt that
you love me, I can see it and I feel it but..you are in love with my brother. Sirius and I are getting
on you know? I can’t see that lasting if I’m still shagging his ex when you’re both clearly pining
after each other.”

Remus nods, diverting his gaze from Reggie’s harsh grey eyes, “Yeah, I get it.”

”Do you think you two will ever fix things?” Reg doesn’t hesitate to ask, wishing for his brother to
be happy.

”No.” answers Remus truthfully, a sadness in the pit his stomach. “We’re just too much together.
It’s hot and cold all the time and then there’s what we’ve done to each other..”

”At least you can both try at being friends now?” Reg smiles, “I won’t be in the way anymore.”

”What? No. Reg,we both want you around. You’re not in the way.” Remus rushes, “I can’t not
have you in my life.. you’re special Reg, truly.”

Reg hesitates, he doesn’t want Remus to be completely gone from his life either, “Let’s both fix
things with Sirius first.. then we can be friends too. I don’t want Sirius getting the wrong idea about
us.. I’m only just starting to get him back.”

Sirius is in a foul mood, he slams around the common room miserably having lost the match to the
Slytherins. James knows it’s really because he witnessed Reg and Remus laughing together on the
bench. Regulus had told Sirius he was going to break up with Remus, but it didn’t really look like
that had happened.

Gryffindor common room were known for their parties, so despite losing they still had a good turn
out and several Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaw were in attendance too. Marlene and Dorcas were in a
corner, finally getting to know one another and slowly getting closer and closer. Potentially to hear
each other over the sound of David Bowie on the record player or to look into each others eyes or
close the space between them for a snog.

Lily and Remus watch curiously as Sirius grabs a bottle of firewhiskey and storms upstairs to the
common room, his feet thundering up the steps. With how well he had been getting on with Reg,
they had assumed he would take the loss against the opposing team a little easier. He never usually
reacted like this to a loss, he wasn’t a sore loser most of the time.

James curses under his breath, “I’m going to get more firewhiskey. The bastard took the last
bottle.”

James stumbles out of the Gryffindor common room, slamming straight into Regulus Black who
was lingering outside the door. He steps back in surprise , swaying slightly as he tries to steady
himself. Reg laughs lowly in amusement as James grabs hold of the bannister in an attempt to keep
himself standing upright.

”I thought Gryffindor lost?”

”We did.” James confirms with a little hiccup, “But we like drinking.”
”I can see that.” Reg snorts, “Can you get Sirius please? I need to talk to him.”

”He’s in bed.” James shrugs, “I’m getting more firewhiskey.”

James trips and almost falls down the flight of stairs in front of him but Reggie’s strong hands grab
hold of him just in time. James looks alarmed, shaking Regulus’ hands off him as he slowly takes
the first step. He holds onto the bannister for dear life, praying that the staircase won’t randomly
move. It kinda feels like he has motion sick and he clings tighter, closing his eyes shut.

”It’s not fucking moving, Potter.” Reg points out as he starts descending the stairs.

James squints through his eyelashes and laughs nervously, “Yeah..”

He bravely takes the next step down, holding his breath and waiting for the stairs to shake him off
or something.

“Where are you getting firewhiskey from?” Reg asks curiously, “You’re absolutely fucked.”

”Fourth floor.” James mutters, “We have our own collection stored there.”

Reg groans, “I’ll get it. You just stay here before you die trying.”

James isn’t sure why he agrees or why he trusts Regulus to actually do it but he does. Reg had been
to their fourth floor hide out many times with Remus, so he knows exactly where it is. James sits
with his back resting against the banister, bracing himself for the sudden movement. The staircases
change twice, making James feel incredibly unwell and desperately trying to hold back his sick.
When Regulus returns it’s to find James exactly as he left him but slightly more sober and paler
too. He has four big bottles of firewhiskey in his arms and sits down besides James.

”Thanks.” James says, “But no thanks.”

”You asked me to fetch them!” Reg reminds him with an unimpressed tone, “I’m keeping one for
myself.”

James nods sleepily, “Yeah okay.”

He watches as Reggie unscrews the cap and takes his first sip, he pulls a disgusted face as the
firewhiskey burns the back of his throat and then his chest. He lets out a small cough, waiting for
the burning sensation to pass by. James snorts, taking the opened bottle from Regulus’ hands and
showing him how it’s done. Reg just rolls his eyes unamused and unimpressed as James gulps it
down like water. James hands it back, admiring Regulus‘ side profile as he takes another disgusted
sip.

”You’re so pretty.” James mumbles under his breath.

Reggie’s cheeks burn as he turns towards James, “What did you just say?”

”You are so pretty.” James repeats under the false confidence of alcohol, “So so pretty.”

James reaches forwards and brushes Regulus’ curls from out of his face and smiles sweetly. Reg
stiffens at the touch, his mind screams at him to pull away but he leans in toward James instead.
His heart rate quickens as James presses his lips against Reggie’s, his hand getting lost in his hair.
Reg keeps ahold of the firewhiskey bottle with both hands, as they kiss softly.
It’s different from the kissing he’d shared with Remus, it leaves his tummy tangled with nerves that
won’t disappear. He wants to reach out with his hand and cup James’ face, because before Remus-
it had been James Potter. He had fancied James Potter since he was eleven years old and first laid
eyes on him on the Hogwarts express.

The kiss deepens, both boys adjust themselves to kiss more accurately. Reg puts the bottle down
on one of the steps before standing and straddling James’ lap hungrily. The elder boy smiles,
feeling the swarming nerves and the heat pooling in his stomach. He had wanted to do this for
ages. He had spent hours wondering what it would feel like to have Reggie just like this.

Reggie moans against James’ lips, his hips moving involuntarily as he grinds himself against
James’ thighs. James curses under his breath, pulling Reg towards him desperate to snog him
again. Their tongues dance as they moan softly, James’ hands wander down to the small of
Reggie’s back and then down to squeeze his arse. Reg had one of the best butts he had ever laid
eyes on and it felt incredible too.

Reg suddenly pulls away, his face flushed and lips slightly plump. He stands unsteadily to his feet
staring down at a confused and hurt looking James. He had already dated his brothers ex, he did
not need to complicate it further by dating his brothers best friend. Without another word, Reg
speed walks down the stairs, knocking over the opened bottle of firewhiskey and out of sight, with
nothing but James Potter on his mind.

James presses his fingers against his flushed lips, staring absently down the stairs. He had thought
about this moment so many times but not like this. Reggie was off limits in more ways that one
now, he couldn’t act upon on his feelings. He was never supposed to. He didn’t want to betray
Sirius like this, or Remus for that matter.

Shit.

Remus and Regulus were still dating as far as he knew. That’s the whole reason Sirius was upset
and now James had gone and done this. He fucked up big time. He could keep it to himself though,
he wasn’t stupid. He knew how to keep the peace, he’d just avoid Regulus for the rest of his life. It
wouldn’t be that hard unlike his dick right now.

Shit.

Sirius downs the remaining drops of firewhiskey and involuntarily shudders, Reggie had lied to
him but it was fine. He wanted his baby brother back more than anything, well perhaps a little less
than he wanted Remus back but it was fine. It was all fine. He could have his brother at least. He
could get his brother out of 12 Grimmauld place and they could live happily ever after elsewhere,
both of them safe from any harm and danger.

He had thought about a lot since he and Reg shared their heart to heart and he was certain his plan
was flawless. All they had to do was go to France, find Uncle Alphard’s house and live there. It
shouldn’t be too hard, how big was France anyway? Their Uncle had also been disowned, though
Sirius didn’t know why for certain, he believed it was to do with his sexuality.

The dormitory door opens, Sirius sits up at lightning speed and proceeds to lose his balance and fall
off the bed. He sheepishly looks up at the culprit and deflates a little seeing Remus standing in the
door frame with a bottle to his lips and an amused expression forcing its way across his face.

”Shut up.” Sirius scowls, standing to his feet.

”Why are you drinking up here? The party is downstairs.” Remus looks around, “Where’s
Prongs?”

“Just me, sorry to disappoint.”

Remus offers the bottle to Sirius who declines with a simple wave of his hand. He purposefully
keeps his eyes to the floor, avoiding Remus’ handsome face and gentle eyes. He can’t deal with it
right now. They’re both drunk, they’re both not thinking straight and nothing could happen, not this
time.

”Are you alright?” Remus asks softly, noticing how off Sirius is again.

”Fine.” Sirius responds bluntly, “What do you want?”

Remus looks taken aback, “I..I miss you.”

”Fucks sake.” Sirius mutters under his breath, “You can’t go around saying things like that.”

”But it’s true, Sirius, I do miss you.”

Sirius turns his back to Remus, running his hand through his hair and sighing loudly, “You’re with
my brother, Remus. You can’t do this to us. He’s my brother.”

”Actually..” Remus’ voice breaks off, “We broke up.”

”Good.” Sirius responds, semi relieved and semi bitter, “Maybe we can be friends now that’s not
going on.”

”Friends?”

”Friends.” Sirius confirms with a defeated sigh, “You fucked my brother Remus. I can’t just forget
that. We can’t just go back to how it was, it wouldn’t work. We don’t work.”

”We don’t work..”Remus repeats slowly.

He continues nodding sadly in agreement because it’s true isn’t it? They just don’t work.
Ultimately, it didn’t matter how in love they were with each-other when all they did was clash and
fight. Neither of them would be able to forgive the other for the great betrayals, their best chance at
being anything was friends. Just friends.

Sirius doesn’t remember how he came to be standing right before Remus, taking the bottle from his
hand and placing it down on the side. He doesn’t know what possessed him to reach out and drag
his thumb along the new scar on Remus’ jaw but the spark is electric and it’s impossible to pull
away now. He had missed doing this, christening Remus’ new scars with a gentle touch and a
soft..kiss.

At that moment James stumbles into the dorm room looking incredibly flustered and on edge.
Sirius jumps away from Remus, offering him a sad and apologetic look. James glances suspiciously
at Remus and Sirius with tears streaming down his face before falling front first on to his bed with
a loud grunt.

“Prongs?” Sirius prompts with worry, James never got wasted like this.

He was not the kind of man to cry after a few drinks, dance and teasingly strip to Mamma Mia?
Yes almost every single time but crying? No. Never once.
 ”I kissed another man.” James cries, the sound muffled by his pillow, “I think I liked it this time
more than last.”

”Who did you kiss?”

James groans, “I am never telling you Pads.” He lets out a hiccup as he continues crying, “I think
I’m fully fucking gay.”

”There’s nothing wrong with that?” Sirius questions gesturing at Remus for help.

”But what about my plans? What about Lily Evans? Hmmm?”

Remus sighs, “You can still like Lily.”

”But I’ve never kissed Lily, this has gone to the next level.”

”With your little boy crush?” Sirius asks with a smug smirk, “Huh..guess it really isn’t me.”

Remus’ mouth falls open as he stares at James buried into his pillow sobbing. He and Regulus had
kissed..he wasn’t sure how to feel about it or if he was even allowed to feel some type of way
about it.

James had kissed his best friends brother.

James had kissed Remus’ ex.

James was crying about it.

”Was it that bad of a kiss?” Sirius asks, grabbing the firewhiskey bottle back of the side.

”No!” James wails, “That’s the problem! Because now I want to do it again and again and again
but I can’t!”

Sirius blinks, “Am I missing something?”

”He doesn’t like me back.” James sniffles, wiping his eyes on the pillow.

”Well, then it’s his loss.”Sirius decides with a confident nod.

Sirius climbs into bed besides James and starts to draw circles on his back in an attempt to comfort
his friend. He too was a little too tipsy to remember anything from tonight’s events and when he
woke up the next morning, he wouldn’t recall how close he had been to kissing his ex.

Remus would though.

Chapter End Notes

Haven’t forgotten about James furry problem explanation but it is mentioned in

chapter 21 so yeah for everyone who wanted jegulus here we are

James Potter and Troy Bolton: Get your head in the game xo
 Chapter 21
Chapter Notes

TRIGGER WARNINGS
-Sexual assault and rape (isn’t super graphic but still obvious what happens so skip if
you need!) HAPPENS AFTER SIRIUS TAKES DRUGS
Aftermath is also sad and a little tricky to read so make sure you look after yourselves
first

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Several months later:

“So…I have this friend.”

“No thanks.” Sirius says rolling his eyes as Emmeline pouts.

The duo continue linking arms and side stepping down the street as they trail far behind James,
Peter,Lily, Marlene and Dorcas in Diagon Alley. To outsiders they probably look like one
extremely attractive couple but their relationship is purely platonic. They even laugh about their
short lived ‘relationship’ because if it had gone any further, they definitely wouldn’t be such good
friends now. Such good friends in fact, that Sirius gave Emma his signature leather jacket earlier
when she complained about being cold. James was furious, stating that he never got jacket
privileges and Sirius argued that it’s because he just simply couldn’t pull it off.

”Well he’s meeting us either way.” Emma smiles sweetly, poking her tongue out as Sirius starts
stammering in protest.

“Why are you playing match maker for fucks sake?” Sirius groans, “I want my jacket back.”

Emma just laughs, “Because you’ve been single for nearly seven months now and you’re still
pathetically pining after a certain lanky giant.”

“Oi!” Sirius frowns, “He’s a very sexy lanky giant with a massive co-“

”Yes. You’ve mentioned before.” Emma snorts, “James has also complained about the amount of
times he’s walked in on you moaning Remus’ name-“

”In my defence-“

James whips around and yells across the now smaller distance between them, “We share a fucking
bedroom! There is no defence! I am traumatised.”

The group start howling with laughter at the sheer disgust on James’ face as he marches on rolling
his eyes. They were supposed to be shopping for school supplies but so far they’d been to Florean
Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour and taken a detour into muggle London, where Sirius got distracted
at the window of every single shop. Worst of all, they had to physically drag him away from the
tattoo shop and then listen to him talk about all the tattoos he was going to get once he was able.

Emmeline then revealed she already had one and despite it being a tiny moth behind her ear, Sirius
declared her an official badass.

“Ooh I’ve got to go!” Lily announces hurriedly, “I’m meeting Remus in Flourish and Blotts.”

James ponders for a minute eyeing Sirius expectantly, “We haven’t really seen him much this
Summer, we should go and say hi.”

”It’s me he’s avoiding.” Sirius shrugs sadly, “Go ahead. I’ll go with Ems and see who this mystery
friend is.”

Sirius forces a smile, no one needed to know how he was really feeling about the entire
thing.Emma beams smugly as she and Sirius break off from the rest of the group, continuing their
side stepping motions and laughing stupidly together. Remus comes racing down the cobbled path,
he’s running a little behind schedule and felt awful leaving Lily waiting. He suddenly comes to a
halt at the sight of his ex boyfriend. Sirius stills in alarm, staring across at Remus for the first time
in weeks. He looks good. Really fucking good.

Remus presses his lips together and waves awkwardly, “Hey.”

”Hi.” Sirius says quietly, “Umm..”

”It’s good to see you.”

”Yes.” Sirius blinks harshly as he brain catches up with his mouth, “I meant to say it’s good to see
you too.”

Remus laughs a little showing his teeth and the small gap that Sirius finds so fucking cute, “You
look good. You look healthy I mean.”

”Thanks.” Sirius mumbles turning bright red, “You look cu-good. I like your jumper a lot.”

Remus looks down at the thin cerulean blue jumper and smiles. It was one of his favourites
especially because he could wear it throughout Summer and keep his scars hidden as it wasn’t
thick.

”Lily got it me, speaking of I should really go and meet her but it was good seeing you both.”
Remus smiles waving to both of them as he walks away.

He considers turning back, inviting both Sirius and Emma along but they’re clearly off elsewhere
and he doesn’t want to interrupt their day. As much as he missed Sirius- the distance was a good
thing. He can almost feel Sirius’ eyes burning into the back of him and he fights the urge to turn
back around.

”That was fucking painful.” Emma comments under her breath, “Normally can’t shut you up but
that was like watching a slow motion car crash.”

”Oh shut it.” Sirius grumbles, “I just didn’t expect to see him until the train.”

Remus caves and looks over his shoulder and smiles to himself as he watches Sirius and Emma
continue side stepping whilst linking arms together. He really did look good and it was nice to see
him genuinely smiling. For a while Sirius was in a dark place even when they became civil he was
far too skinny and depressed but it seemed like mentally he was getting stronger and getting better.

Remus had been so grateful to James for interrupting them that night when they were drunk. Sirius
was definitely about to kiss him and Remus isn’t sure he would have had the strength to stop it.
They wouldn’t have made any progress individually if they had been left alone much longer,
they’d probably still be fighting on a daily basis. The time apart was good for them, even if Remus
was still heads over heels in love with him.

Over the last few months, Remus had discovered a lot about himself and forgiveness. He was no
longer actively blaming Sirius for what happened or hating himself every day for his furry little
problem. He hoped what he saw with Sirius wasn’t a lie, that Sirius had genuinely taken time to
learn who he was. Neither of them needed to depend on the other for happiness anymore, they
were happy by themselves and maybe when they returned to Hogwarts- they could finally have the
chat Remus had put off for so long.

He really did believe that he and Sirius were meant to be together and that they were soulmates in
every single lifetime, including this one. He prayed that it wouldn’t be too soon and they had both
matured enough to be a healthy couple. He wanted that more than he wanted anything else. He was
hopeful that Sirius had the same mindset, he didn’t dare to think about the what if he didn’t.

Arriving in Flourish and Blotts, Remus is almost floored as Lily jumps on him and gives him the
tightest hug she can. To his surprise some of their other friends had tagged along too, including
James who didn’t hesitate to do exactly what Lily did but actually knock them both to the ground.

“Mooony!” James smiles lopsidedly, “Guess what?” He whispers in Remus’ ear, “Definitely not a
wolf!”

Remus laughs, “Yeah I know? Dumbledore told me that the bite didn’t work because you’re an
animagus and were in animagus form at the time.”

”Isn't it cool that he’s letting me remain unregistered? Like out of everyone I would have thought
Dumbledore would be the one dragging me there.”

”Yeah so cool that he’s encouraging your life of crime.” Remus responds blunty, “Now get off me
you’re squishing my balls.”

James snorts with laughter as he stands to his feet and offers Remus a helping hand.

”Very amusing.” Regulus mutters, rising a judgemental eyebrow at them.

”You came!” Remus grins excitedly, “I have the book right here.”

He reaches into his bag, rummaging around for a second before handing Reg a battered brown
book. James furrows his eyebrows as he tries to take a look at what it was, Lily elbows him
playfully to get him to stop and he turns to face her with an offended look.

”Nosey.” She mutters, her green eyes glinting with humour.

”Yeah and?” He says turning around to see Remus and Regulus have disappeared down one of the
aisles.

Regulus stops every few seconds to take a closer look at books that interest him, whilst Remus
leans back and smiles at him. They had been writing all Summer, since both of them were getting
on with Sirius they had been able to stay in contact and be genuine friends. Regulus still wasn’t
sure about the rest of the marauders as they weren’t keen on him, due to his hard exterior but he
didn’t mind. Remus was one extra friend than he had before and he had brain cells unlike Barty
and Evan.

”How was Evans wedding?” Remus asks casually, making Reg stiffen.
”Oh.. it was fine.” He shrugs, “As fine as an arranged marriage can be..”

Remus can’t imagine what that is like, being forced to marry for money or status rather than love.
It wasn’t fair, everyone should be with whoever they want and for Evan, that was Barty.

”Did Barty end up going?”

Reg narrows his eyes at Remus, “What is this? Twenty questions? But no he didn’t and before you
ask, no, Evan isn’t returning to school in September.”

”Oh.” Remus says softly, “I’m sorry.”

Regulus shrugs trying to hide his own sadness as he starts flipping through a different book, “It is
what it is.”

Remus hears a shuffle of feet, looks up to see James linger around at the end and smiles knowingly.
He nudges Regulus who snaps his head up and goes bright red at the sight of James. Since they
kissed on the stairs a few months ago, Reg had a growing infatuation with his brothers best friend
and had told Remus in confidence during their letters that it was spiralling. He hates it. He hated
James and his stupid wonky face more than anything and anyone.

Reg glares at Remus as he starts walking down the opposite end of the aisle, whistling a tune to
himself as he goes. The thing is, Reg remembered the kiss but James was too drunk and had zero
recollection of the things he said or what they did. Regulus was also pretty sure he and Lily Evans
were getting together. Most importantly, he couldn’t make a move because he had already been
with his brothers ex boyfriend and absolutely could not be with his best friend now too. Unless he
was willing to actually be murdered by his big brother.

He and Sirius had been able to write too, they had been meaning to meet up but Reg had prior
business most of the time.. like the stupid wedding that he wanted to rescue Evan from but
couldn’t. He was unlikely to see his friend much until he joined the Death Eaters himself, which
for obvious reasons he was desperately trying to avoid. He could tell it was coming for him soon
though, he wasn’t lucky enough to escape like Sirius was.

James comes closer, putting Reg on alarm as he reaches directly above him to get a specific book.
He smiles lopsidedly at Reg, which makes the younger boy internally squeal. His crush on Potter
was dangerous and painfully tragic.

”Hey Reggie.”

”Um hi.”

James smirks, “How are you?”

”Fine.”

”Cat got your tongue?”

”No.”

James laughs and shakes his head, “Great conversation, Reggie.”

”Yeah..”

James stares at Reg for a moment, a warm smile etched across his face before he walks away. The
book he has zero interest in, still in his hands. Remus and James exchange knowing looks as James
groans in defeat. Remus knew that James had the hots for Sirius’ brother but was under strict oath
not to utter a word about it to anyone.

However, James never specified that Remus couldn’t leave them alone together or give them a
little nudge in the right direction. Frankly, Remus thought they’d be good together. Despite his
own history with Reg, it was clear to him that James and Reg would be better suited. Especially
considering they had feelings of some sort toward each other. Remus hated being sworn to secrecy
sometimes, he wanted both of his friends to be happy.

In muggle London, Emma returns Sirius’ leather jacket to him as they walk down the street to
where she had agreed to meet with her friend. Nick, her friend, was a queer man with a motorbike
and tattoos- basically a bleach blonde Sirius Black. Realistically they’d probably just be friends,
but if she could take Sirius’ mind off Remus Lupin for a few hours then it would be fun.

Sirius’ mouth falls open at the sight of a cherry red motorbike leaning against the brick wall by a
small cafe. He slowly edges closer, itching to touch the shiny surface with his hand.

“She’s a beauty isn’t she?” A man asks, Sirius nods without looking up.

”Hey Nick!” Emma grins wrapping her arms around him, “This is Sirius.”

Sirius looks up coming face to face with the tall, platinum blonde guy with tattoos and a nose ring.
He’s fit. Really fucking fit but he still isn’t Remus. He can see why Emma was trying to play
matchmaker but it just wouldn’t work, there was only one man for Sirius and it wasn’t the one
standing before him right now. It was the one he’d left behind on the cobbled streets of Diagon
Alley.

He looks back towards the motorbike awestruck, “This yours?”

”Yeah.” Nick says like a proud Dad, “Can take her for a spin later if you like?”

”Fuck yeah!” Sirius grins excitedly.

Emma cringes, “Count me out.”

”In all the time I’ve known you and you still don’t trust me with your life?” Nick teases, “I’m
offended.”

The trio sit at one of the tables outside, scanning the menus before placing their orders. Sirius
steals glances at the motorbike, which wasn’t what Emma had in mind but she understands. Sirius
had wanted a motorbike of his own for such a long time, apparently it fit his cool bad boy persona.
She did wish he would pay more attention to her and Nick though.

”Nick is a muggle.” Emma smiles, “His Mums a witch though.”

”Oh so you’re a squib?” Sirius asks not meaning to sound as rude as he did.

Nick doesn’t seem put off though and just nods, “Yeah unfortunately but hey! I turned out okay.”

“He is doing his tattoo training, he did my moth!” Emma grins sipping on her coffee eagerly.

”No way!” Sirius gapes, finally paying full attention to Nick, “You have to do me!”

Emma almost chokes on her drink, Nick pats her back as he laughs heartedly at Sirius’ wording,
“Yeah,I can do.”

At some point Emma slipped away, lying about going to the bathroom and never returning. It had
been her intention all along to get the two of them alone, she really did think they were a good
match as they had such a lot in common. She quite clearly hadn’t heard of the saying ‘opposites
attract’. Sirius could see quite clearly that Nick was attractive but he just couldn’t let go of Remus
in his mind. Nick had the potential to be a fantastic friend though, and when they offer came up for
him to ride the motorbike- well, naturally he just had to.

He held onto Nick tightly, both of them not wearing helmets as they sped through muggle London.
Sirius whooped with excitement as they rushed past the cars and drove recklessly through red
lights. It was exactly how Sirius imagined it would be, the wind in his hair and the adrenaline
pumping through his body. It was just like flying.

Eventually, Nick came to a stop parking up outside some dingy rundown flats. When he invited
Sirius in for drinks, he agreed as he had time to kill before he had to return to the Potters.

Sirius couldn’t help but nosey around the flat it was sort of filthy but he stopped judging once he
laid eyes on a tattooing gun. His heart leapt with excitement and he relentless goaded Nick into
giving him a few tattoos. Nick hesitantly agreed to tattooing Sirius, despite the unhygienic
standards in the flat. They spent hours going through Sirius’ requests turning him into a walking
scrapbook. He got antlers for James, the moon cycle for Remus, Reggie’s initials and star, a rat for
Wormtail, Lillies for Lily, Moth for Emma, a pride flag, David Bowies signature lightning bolt and
many more. They kind of looked like stickers the way they were placed on his arms. Nick called it
patchwork style tattoos, adding extra whenever Sirius found a design in Nicks sketchbook that he
liked.

Nick’s fridge was stocked with beers, which meant whilst they were tattooing Sirius drank a lot to
numb the sharp scratching of the dodgey needle. It didn’t hurt much though, it reminded Sirius of
the sensation he caused himself a few months prior. Then a few beers in,Sirius had the best idea of
his entire life.

”Ooh Nick! You should let me tattoo you!”

Nick pulls a face, “You’re bloody drunk, Sirius. I let you near me with this needle and you’ll kill
me.”

”Boring.” Sirius scoffs childishly, “I’ll just do an S for Sirius.”

For whatever reason, Nick agrees and downs three beers before letting Sirius poke him with the
needle. It doesn’t hurt at all though because Sirius isn’t applying enough pressure, but his tongue
sticks out in concentration and when he pulls back to admire his masterpiece, it’s the fanciest ‘S’
Nick has ever seen.

James rushes through to the dining room where his parents are sat waiting with dinner. The centre
of the table is has different dishes spread out, steamed veg, chicken, potatoes and a gravy pot. He is
panting and clutching his chest as he nervously waves to them, the delicious smells invading his
nose. Euphemia looks unimpressed by the late arrival and Monty peers over his copy of the Daily
Prophet, offering his son a silent prayer.

”And where is your brother?” Effie asks, her eyebrows raised.

James’ eyes widen, “He’s not home yet?”

“Is he not with you?” Effie stands to her feet with worry, “Where did he go?”

”He went with Emma-“

”Let’s not be too hasty Effie, we can contact the Vance family and see where they’re at okay?”
Fleamont reasons calmly, resting his hand over the top of hers.

Effie was always worrying about her boys, Sirius especially as she had this nightmarish fear that
Walburga and Orion would snatch him back and take him back to that god awful house. As far as
she and Monty were concerned Sirius was their son now, and they would fight tooth and nail
before Sirius ever stepped foot near them again.

Nick closes the space between himself and Sirius, bringing their mouths together and they kiss.
Both of them are drunk but aware of what they’re doing. Nick takes a small white pill out of his
pocket and holds it between his fingers for Sirius to see.

”What’s that?” Sirius asks curiously.

”Muggle drugs.” Nick grins wickedly, “Makes all your problems disappear, you ever done drugs
before?”

“Weed.”

Nick smiles, “This is better than weed.”

”Alright.” Sirius nods, opening his mouth as Nick pops the pill onto his tongue.

Sirius swallows it and waits for something to happen but he feels no different. The two men
continue snogging, Nick removes his shirt revealing a toned stomach and tattooed chest. He lifts
Sirius’ top over his head before leaning down and sucking on sensitive spot of Sirius’ neck. Sirius
arches his back in pleasure as he moans Remus’ name. His eyes are squeezed shut as he continues
gasping in pleasure and then his breathing starts to go funny like someone crushing his windpipe,
when he reopens his eyes everything seems as though it’s spinning.

It feels like he’s there and he’s not at the same time. He’s aware of things but time is blurring it all
together. One minute Nick is leaving hickies on his neck and collarbones, the next he’s on his
knees pulling Sirius’ pants down and then Sirius is face down on the couch being held in place and
he can feel Nick inside of him. He can feel the tears falling from his eyes but he can’t do anything
about it. He can’t make it stop.

When Sirius comes around, it’s to a silent and empty flat. He lays there, frozen in place and filled
with fear as memories from the previous night come creeping back. He sits up fully naked, his head
pounding and thoughts spinning as he searches the floor for his clothes. He finds them discarded all
over the room, breathing heavily as he gets dressed. He sees a note addressed to him on the coffee
table and wants to throw up.

Sirius, sorry to dash off had work. Thanks for last night- Nick

Had he really exaggerated everything? It definitely felt wrong but maybe Nick just didn’t know or
maybe Sirius just didn’t remember saying yes? Sirius knows deep down he never would have said
yes though because Nick wasn’t Remus. Kissing was one thing but he couldn’t physically be
intimate with anybody else, not even guys who looked like Nick did. It felt like cheating on Remus,
even though they weren’t together anymore.
He isn’t sure what time it is, but he knows it’s the day after. He knows he missed dinner last night
with Effie and Monty, he wonders if they noticed he was gone. Part of him prays they hadn’t
because he wasn’t sure how to explain where he had been.

”Anything?” James asks the group of friends as they gather back together near Gringotts.

”No.” Everyone says gloomily.

”We should try muggle London.” Emma insists, “That’s where I left him and Nick!”

Remus looks at her with surprise, “Nick?”

Remus feels his heart sink a little more, not only was Sirius missing but he had last been with some
random man. Regulus looks just as nervous as Remus felt.

When Reg heard his brother was missing earlier that day, he didn’t even try to come up with an
excuse- he just left. His house elf Kreacher, disapparated to Diagon Alley under the guise Reg was
meeting with friends for a school supplies trip. He had only just got his big brother back, and the
idea of him being lost someplace, was a fear Reggie didn’t even know he had.

James had immediately contacted Remus as his parents contacted the Vance family and learnt that
Emma was in fact home already and had been for hours. Emmeline had informed James that Sirius
was on a date with Nick, but didn’t know where they had gone after and James was furious. Then
the hours kept ticking by, Sirius still hadn’t reached out or come home and James’ anger was
swiftly replaced by genuine worry.

Unable to sleep due to the high anxiety, Remus turned up at the Potters just after midnight to wait it
out with James. Once they were able to, they all travelled by floo to Diagon alley to meet up with
the rest of the search party. Sirius Black had disappeared completely. Effie and Monty ended up
marching to the Ministry to ask for proper help once it hit midday, leaving the rest to search as
much as they could.

Sirius has no idea where about he is. He doesn’t know how far they travelled on Nick’s motorbike
but he’s lost. He wishes more than anything he knew the spell for directions, but he doesn’t and he
can’t think straight to come up with an alternative. All he knows for sure is that everything hurts
and every car on the road makes him jump in fear of it being Nick. That is what makes him realise
that what happened wasn’t normal. If it was just a drunken hookup, Sirius wouldn’t be so on edge
and so afraid.

Emma leads James, Remus and Regulus to the cafe. To her absolute delight, she spots Nicks
motorbike and heads inside to retrieve him. When they emerge, Remus can’t help but give Nick a
dirty look. It wasn’t because he was the man Sirius’ date was with, but because he just doesn’t get
a good vibe from him at all. Remus liked to think he was a good judge of character and he did not
like this Nick bloke. Okay, so partially it’s because Sirius when on a date with the man but when
he starts talking, Remus is positive there’s something dodgy about the man.

”Hey guys, yeah I mean he was asleep when I left for work this morning.” Nick explains with a
shrug, “I tried waking him but he told me to fuck off.”

”Sounds about right.” Mutters James, rolling his eyes, “Can we go and get him? We will take him
home and get him out of your flat.”

”Yeah sure, I left it open so he could leave.” Nick shrugs.

 Remus eyes Nick suspiciously, there was something wrong in the way he twitched and flexed his
fingers. It was like he didn’t want to be caught in a lie or something, Remus was good at spotting
liars, it was one of the perks of heightened senses. He could smell the nervousness of liars.

”Right c’mon then guys.” James says, “Remus? You coming?”

”Oh..you’re Remus?” Nick smirks, looking Remus up and down, “He was moaning your name last
night. I was a bit offended but now I see why.”

Remus’ fist clench by his sides, it takes a lot in him to just brush past Nick. He can tell that
something is wrong, he can feel it in his bones and he hates it. Nick had only said that so Remus
would know they had sex and it makes Remus so incomprehensibly angry that James has to
encourage him to keep moving. It’s not like it was his business who Sirius slept with anymore,
even if he was under the impression they’d be getting back together.

Once they’re out of view of muggles,Reggie takes out his wand. He mutters some sort of spell
under his breath and a light blue shimmering line seems to spill from the tip.

”You just did underage magic?” James points out with raised brows.

”None of you dipshits know the locating spell do you?” Reg responds as he starts following the
line.

Sirius is sweating and shaking, he’s pale and dizzy and he is so fucking lost. He really doesn’t
know where he is or what he’s doing, he prays he can find his way home. All he wants right now is
his Mum. A year ago, that wouldn’t have been the case but in this moment and after last night, he
just wants Euphemia. He feels safest when he’s in her arms and he is desperate to be near her. He
just needs to get home. He just needs to be at the Potters.

Remus is walking insanely fast, determination set in his brow as he takes long hurried strides in the
direction the locating charm is sending him. Every so often it switches positions, which means
wherever Sirius is, he’s on the move and it’s both a relief and incredibly frustrating. Remus can
feel it in his gut, something isn’t right and it makes him feel ill with worry.

Eventually, they spot him and the spell evaporates but as Remus gets closer his worries are
confirmed. He grabs old of a furious James and shakes his head in warning, letting James know
that something is really truly wrong. Sirius collapses with relief as the four of them reach him, he
starts crying and hyperventilating on the pavement. Regulus stares horrified at his protective older
brother suffering from an overwhelming bout of anxiety. James has to look away as vomit threatens
to creep up his throat.

It’s Remus who kneels besides him, “You’re safe now, Padfoot. We’re here now.”

”I want Mum.” Sirius whimpers, looking up at James desperately, “I want Mum.”

James nods immediately slapping on his brave face and charismatic smile, “Let’s go home yeah?
I’ll send for Mum.”

Chapter End Notes

For support : https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-

services/abuse/#SexualAbuseSupportOptions

I think it’s important to raise awareness of difficult topics. Unfortunately SA is

extremely common and sometimes people don’t even realise it’s happened. I try to
cover harder conversations in both my fanfics and my personal work as a writer
because if it helps just one person recognise it or reach to the above for help or even
just educate someone then it’s worth it.

IT WILL BE MENTIONED AGAIN BRIEFLY BUT I WILL ALWAYS BUT A

WARNING IN THE NOTES.

This fic is just going to keep going, it started out as just revenge, maybe a few chapters
but I can’t stop writing so sorry but it will come back to Remus getting revenge
again bc he’s the best at that
 Chapter 22
Chapter Notes

Trigger warnings
- mentions of abuse (Walburga and Orion)
-talks of sexual assault (brief and some is in French)
- aftermath of SA (Sirius having nightmares and in the shower- trying to “clean” the
feeling off himself)

French translations at the end notes

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Remus doesn’t know what Sirius had told everyone but in the days following, James wrote Remus
a letter telling him not to worry. He explained that Sirius was high which explains his odd
behaviour but Remus doesn’t believe that’s the only reason. He knows Sirius despite not dating
anymore, he knows him like the back of his hand. Sirius Black is his soulmate after all.

He actually wrote to Sirius himself but didn’t get a reply. He also wrote to Regulus and got no
reply there either. Both Black brothers meant so much to him, he couldn’t explain it but since
Reggie and Remus broke up, they’d formed a different relationship entirely. The bond between
them was unbreakable like brothers and Remus would go as far as to name his ex boyfriend his
bestest friend (alongside Lily Evans).It was only natural for him to be concerned for both brothers,
and as the last two weeks of Summer dragged on, Remus’ worry only grew stronger.

On September 1st, Remus dragged his trunk to his usual compartment where Peter Pettigrew was
already sat on his lonesome. He offered Remus a curt nod and continued waving to his parents who
were standing on platform 9 3/4. Remus sat by the window, keeping his eyes keenly peeled for any
sign of their other friends. It was unlike James and Sirius to be the last to arrive as they liked to
claim the window seats before the other two. Remus knew he’d give his up immediately for either
of the other men if they asked. Peter, however, would never. He’d been waiting seven years for his
turn to sit right where he was.

Someone cleared their throat from the doorway and Remus almost gave himself whiplash as he
turned. Unexpectedly, Regulus Black stood there and exchanged a worried look with the tall
Gryffindor. Even more unexpectedly, he sat besides him and sighed.

”Do you mind if I wait with you?” Reg asks in a small voice, “I just want to make sure he’s
alright.”

”Yeah course.” Remus nods, lowering his voice a little, “And you? Are you alright? You never
replied.”

“They found out I snuck out and they could tell when I lied about where.” Reg huffs a laugh, “Just
a little cruciatus for a few days, nothing major.”

”Nothing major? Shit Reg-“

”It’s tame compared to..other stuff.” Reg clarifies with a shrug, “I’m glad it were that and not the
imperio or worse.”

”Fuck.” Remus mutters, “Fuck.”

It sometimes surprised him the more he learnt about the Blacks as parents, although he had heard
many dark stories- they still caught him by surprise. Admittedly, Remus and his Father, Lyall did
not have the best of relationships but even then, Lyall would never do the shit that Walburga and
Orion did. Lyall just hating his son for who he was, gay and werewolf, was tame in comparison.

The boys sit silently in their compartment, it was scarily quiet without James and Sirius planning
their yearly schemes and pranks. It was unsettling and even Peter stopped acting as if all were well
after a minute. The 10 minute warning sound from the train rings out and sets the three of them on
edge, were they not coming? It was there final year before unpredictable adulthood, surely they’d
be returning to Hogwarts? Surely they wouldn’t miss out on their last hurrah?

The five minute warning. Were they really not here? Remus and Reg exchange nervous
expressions, both of them wondering where the hell Sirius and James were. Then at long last,
James Potter appears..alone.

He inhales sharply as his eyes meet Reggie’s, Peter jumps up and hugs him tightly then proceeds to
help James put his trunk away. James falls into the seat besides Peter, sighing loudly as the other
three patiently wait for an explanation.

“Where’s my brother?” Reggie asks not able to hold on a single beat longer.

”He’s on board somewhere..” James hesitates, “He’s not quite ready to face everyone yet.”

”He’s had two weeks!” Pete says frustratedly.

Remus shoots Peter a nasty glare before turning back to James, “What did he say happened?”

”He didn’t.” James mumbles not quite able to meet Remus’ eyes, “He’s talked to Mum loads but..
all he said to me is that he got wasted and did drugs and had sex but..”

”You don’t buy it.” Remus finishes for him, nodding, “I don’t either. I’m going to fucking kill-“

”Moony.” James says warningly, “He doesn’t want anyone to know. He’s ashamed and he’s
embarrassed and..” James sighs in defeat, “He’s struggling again.”

Regulus stares at James, his heart sinking quite low as he starts getting up to leave. Maybe Sirius
wasn’t ready to face people yet but Reggie was his brother and maybe just maybe Sirius would
make an exception. James watches without debate, he lets Reg go and Remus’ eyebrows shoot up
questioningly.

”The only other person he’s wanted other than my Mum is his brother.” James explains, feeling
incredibly guilty for some reason as he explains to Remus.

Reggie doesn’t have a plan for finding Sirius on the train but luckily his brother makes it easy.
Sirius is roaring with laughter, so he just follows the sound and finds Sirius sat with some girls
from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. They’re all twirling their hair between their fingers or batting their
long black eyelashes at him as he talks.Reg very obviously rolls his eyes as he opens the
compartment door, he didn’t understand why girls fancied his brother so much. They practically
fell over their own feet whenever he was around.

”Reggie!” Sirius says loudly clapping his hands together, “Ladies, this is my baby brother.”
“Ooh you both look so alike!” One of the girls comments giggling as if they hadn’t been in the
same school for the last six years. Reg was only one year below his brother and everyone knew
they were related.

Sirius nods, “Both devilishly handsome hmm?”

“Sirius? What the fuck are you doing?” Reg asks with a harsh tone.

”Just getting to know these pretty girls, why?”

”I need to talk to you.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, making the girls laugh as he dramatically stands to his feet, “Lead the way
little Prince.”

Reggie finds a quieter part of the train, keeping an eye out for Slytherins for obvious reasons and
the trolley lady because he was hungry and fancied a snack. Sirius follows silently, his hands in his
pockets and his head hanging low. His demeanour completely shifted now he was alone with Reg
and not with a group of people. Not in a bad way though Reg noticed, but in a way that expressed
trust like Sirius didn’t feel the need to hide the truth from his sibling. A year ago it would be an
entirely different scenario.

”Sorry for not writing. Maman et Papa ont dècouvert que j’avais menti à propos d’aller avec mes
amis to Diagon Alley.” Reggie explains quietly, “Don’t look at me like that. It’s fine. It was a tame
punishment for the-“

”They shouldn’t be punishing you at all.” Sirius mutters harshly, his eyes emotional with the build
up of tears.

Regulus shrugs, “et toi? Le truc avec Nic-“

”Please, ne dis pas son nom.” Sirius interrupts, his eyes wide and his throat tight, “Please.”

”Oh Sirius.” Reg breathes sharply, completely taken aback by the vulnerability, “Ce qui s’est passè
n ètait pas de ta faute.”

“Je me suis saoulè. J’ai volontairement pris les mèdicaments. J’ai couchè avec luis. C’est de ma
faulte.”

”Non.” Reg says shaking his head, “Il a profitè de vous.”

Sirius gulps, diverging his eyes to the floor, “Seuls toi et Effie le savez. S’il vous plâit, ne le dites á
personne.”

Reggie nods as Sirius lifts his gaze back towards his brother, “I won’t tell anyone, Sirius.. I really
am sorry it happened.”

”Me too.” Sirius mumbles, “Are you coming back to the compartment with me?”

”You want me to?” Reg asks somewhat surprised.

Sirius nods, “I haven’t seen you all Summer.”

”You haven’t see your friends either..”Reg points out, making Sirius rise his eyebrows,.

Remus watches the scenery out of the window, his chest feeling unbearably tight. It was far too
quite in their compartment without Sirius. If Remus ever saw Nick again, he was positive he was
going to kill him. He could feel anger inside of him building and building, it was the worst anger
he had ever felt. He can’t help but blame himself too, if he had just swallowed his pride and invited
Sirius to hang with him that day- surely Sirius would have said yes? And he never would have met
nasty Nick.

James stretches, yawning loudly and kicking his feet up to the empty seat across from him. He has
his feet there for just a minute, when the compartment door slides open. Regulus smiles at the other
three and steps aside, letting Sirius in front of him. Peter leaps out of his seat and hugs Sirius
tightly, Sirius visibly goes still with shock. He looks rigid, he looks as if he had no idea what to do
then he slowly lifts his hands and hugs Peter back. It’s brief and over just as quickly, Sirius ruffles
Pete’s hair affectionately before sitting next to Remus.

“Hi.” Sirius says oddly quiet as he smiles small at Remus.

Remus smiles back, the untold truth about what happened with Nick suffocating the air around
them. Regulus sits besides his big brother, Sirius shuffles so he’s sat closer to his brother more than
anyone else. Reg exchanges a concerned look with James, who then clears his throat to distract
from everyone’s extremely loud thoughts.

”Final year lads.” He grins, slapping his hands against his thighs, “We have to go all out on the
pranks..leave our legacy behind..”

”Poor McGonagall.” Remus snorts, “She’s going to have a damn heart attack.”

Sirius actually smiles, the first warm and genuine smile James had seen in a while, “We have to
make sure she never forgets us.”

”As if she could ever forget us!” Snorts James, “We’re the best damn thing that ever happened to
her.”

”Too damn right.” Sirius nods, squeezing Remus’ face playfully, “She’d never forget her top
student though.”

Reg groans, “Please don’t do anything to the Slytherin common room again, we were finding those
fucking Cornish pixies for weeks.”

”Shows how often your lot study in the common room if you ask me.” James laughs, “We only hid
about 10.”

”It was 36. I counted them myself.” Peter grins with a happy nod.

”Where did you even get them?” Reg asks genuinely curious.

James just smirks, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

”A marauder never reveals his sources.” Sirius adds, the familiar shine returning just a little.

Regulus leans over Sirius to Remus, “You will tell me later?”

”Of course.” Remus nods with a smirk.

”Wowww consorting with your ex boyfriend.” Sirius sighs dramatically, “You betraying us
Remus?”
Peter clears his throat awkwardly, “Sorry but are you lot just fine now?”

James shoots Peter a look, “Pete. They’re all friends.”

”I don’t understand.” Peter admits sheepishly with a sigh, he rests his head against the window,
then he says ever so quietly, “I don’t ever understand the things I should..”

Remus is the only one who hears the little admission and he wonders what that means exactly.
What didn’t Peter understand? Pete’s question had shifted the mood again, Sirius was a little tense
his eyes darting to his brother nervously. James was watching Sirius, like he was on guard for
something and Remus wished the ground would just swallow him whole.

At the welcome feast, Sirius was his usual charismatic and charming self, he caught up with
Emma,Lily, Marlene, Dorcas and Mary smiling and acting as if all was okay. If any of the girls
suspected a thing, no one pointed it out. Reg sat at his own table with Barty, but his eyes remain
glued to his big brother. He wondered how Sirius was ever going to move on from this. It might
not have been obvious to everyone, but it was obvious to him and to James and to Remus.

Sirius chats away his face bright with happiness as he cracks jokes and flirts with the girls. Remus
notices the way the happiness doesn’t quite reach his eyes though. The usually bright and
mischievous bright grey eyes look dark and lost with sadness.Remus exchanges a look with James,
a mutual fiery hatred brewing between them for the man who had done this.

Remus could lay low. He could just support Sirius in whatever way he could. He could try to
forget about nasty Nick and what he did, or he could do something about it. After all there was
nothing Remus did better than revenge.

It shouldn’t have been surprising that it was Regulus who reached out first. It was his big brother
who had been hurt and despite their previous differences, Regulus couldn’t just let it go. He
couldn’t stop tossing and turning as he replayed that fateful day, the moment they’d found Sirius
and the state he was in.

Years of abuse at the hands of their parents had never affected Sirius the way Nick had. What Nick
had done, what he did to Sirius- it was unspeakable. Sirius couldn’t talk about it. Perhaps the two
brothers were just that used to the physical pain of being beaten and tortured by their Mother’s
delicate hands or put down by their Fathers harsh words. As Reggie laid in bed, he couldn’t stop
his mind from working in overdrive.

Remus nabbed the invisibility cloak from James’ trunk, he watched Sirius’ chest fall and rise as he
slept, his head resting on James’ chest. James had an arm wrapped protectively around his best
friend, holding him like a sibling as he rested his own head on top of Sirius’.

Reg was already in the empty potions classroom sat upon one of the empty desks when Remus
arrived. His face was set like stone, his jaw clenched and his eyes murderous. Remus imagined he
looked no different, both men were thinking along the same lines..weren’t they?

”I want to kill him.” Reg hisses, his fist curling as he places them on his lap.

“Me too.” Remus admits, running his hand through his hair, “I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Regulus nods in agreement, his eyes closing as the anger starts resurfacing, “When we saw N-him
at the cafe, he was so unbothered..it makes me feel ill. Every time I close my eyes I can just see
Sirius’ face when we found him and I just-“

”I know.” Remus mumbles, leaning against the desk opposite to where Reg is sitting, “I can’t stop
thinking about it either.”

”Sirius always tried to protect me.” Reg says after a long beat of silence, “He would take the blame
for the things I did so Maman would punish him instead… but afterwards, she would always come
to me and punish me for allowing him to take the blame. Somehow she always knew when it was
me..she punished Sirius anyway..I think she just liked to hurt us both as much as possible..”

”And over the hol-“

”It was bad.” Reg nods shakily, “I..I don’t want to go back really.”

Remus looks up, his eyes wide, “We can sort that. We can get you out. We ca-“

”No. It’s either me or him.” Reg explains softly, “They don’t bother him because they have the
spare, if I left- they’d go straight back to making Sirius’ life a living hell and he has enough going
on.”

”Reg-“

”Remus.” Reg says sternly, “Focus. What are we going to do about Nick?”

The taller man stares at Regulus, his heart twisting painfully at the idea of not being able to save
both. He would do anything at all to keep both brothers safe. He loved them both. He thought he
always might, for he was the moon and they were both shining bright stars.

Sirius wakes up panting, sweat dripping down his temples as he shakes. He glances at a sleeping
James, feeling more relaxed and immediately safe. He chances a glance at Remus’ bed, his heart
dropping as he sees it empty, the covers discarded in a messy lump at the end of his bed. He stands
up as he grabs his wand and tiptoes to James’ bedside table where they kept the marauders map.

”I solemnly swear I am up to no good.” He says quietly, glancing nervously at his two sleeping
friends.

If Moony was downstairs, then he would go down and talk to him. Maybe about his nightmare,
maybe not. Remus was one of the people who he felt safe with alongside James, Reg and the
Potters. It didn’t seem fair to wake James if Remus was already up. Besides, before all the stuff
with Nick, he was positive he and Remus were getting on the right track again. That they could be
something again.

It takes him a minute to locate Remus’ name on the map, he’s not in the common room. He feels
his eyes begin to burn with familiar tears, his heart begins to crack open in his chest, Remus is in
an empty potions classroom with only one other person.

Remus Lupin and Regulus Black.

Sirius felt incredibly stupid. He shoves the map back into the drawer, it rustles louder than he
expected but he just ignores James as he sits up bewildered. He grabs a towel and stomps into the
bathroom, locking the door behind him. He thought their little affair was over. He thought it hadn’t
meant much, but they were already sneaking around again. Had it ever even stopped?

The hot water runs down his body, he tries to block everything out. He tries to bury every bad
feeling, thought and memory that attempts to consume him. He can’t lose his mind. He can’t lose
himself. He scrubs his skin red raw, trying to scrape the feeling of Nicks hands off his body. He
never feels clean. He keeps scrubbing furiously, desperately trying to rid himself of the lingering
touch.
 He tries to hold back the tears as he thinks of his brother dating the man he was in love with.
Eventually, his knees give way beneath him and he sits underneath the shower water, crying
hopelessly. Every drop of happiness disappearing down the drain.

James is standing anxiously outside the bathroom door when Remus arrives back. The two of them
have a silent conversation, James knocks at the door tenderly as both of them stand nearby. There’s
no answer.

“Padfoot?” James knocks again, “Mate, you’ve been in there for nearly an hour.”

”What happened?” Remus whispers, his heart racing in his chest, he already knows the answer. He
already knows Sirius is struggling.

“He had a nightmare.” James replies even quieter, “He has them all the time since-“

The bathroom door opens, Sirius is wearing his pyjamas. His wet hair drips onto the carpets as he
stares at James, his eyes red and face puffy from crying. Remus swallows a harsh lump in his
throat, Sirius looked so small and timid as he looked at James for guidance.

“I want to go to sleep.” Sirius whispers, looking at James, “I don’t want to talk.”

“Come on then, mate.” James says, gently clapping a hand on Sirius back, guiding him towards his
bed, “I’ll stay awake until you fall asleep, yeah?”

Sirius just nods, keeping his eyes firmly in any direction but his ex boyfriends. Remus felt his heart
drop and the anger swell dangerously, it wasn’t even close to a full moon yet, but he was
bloodthirsty.

Chapter End Notes

Been a minute since I updated as there’s been some dramas around this fic and my
anxiety got the better of me

So first of all, no I don’t care if people are “copying” the idea of Remus dating
Regulus as revenge I’m pretty sure I’m not the first one to do it so if you read this and
are inspired then defo do it and please let me know because I love reading other
peoples work!!I am mentioning this because I saw a tiktok that someone made about
their own fic with a similar storyline and title and someone mentioned my fic and how
they’d copied and I felt so so bad! Fanfics are supposed to be fun and about creativity,
sharing stories etc

Secondly, I had a general idea of the revenge plot and then when I was writing it my
wolfstar loving heart actually couldn’t handle putting moonseeker together. I am just a
sucker for wolfstar and it actually hurt my heart them not being together. Speaking of
writing, I don’t actually plan in advance what’s going to happen I just write as it comes
to me idk if that makes any sense but either way if the story took a direction you
weren’t expecting and you don’t like it that’s okay! You don’t have to read it and
there’s loads of other fanfics on here that are similar/have moonseeker endgame etc

Lastly, I just want to thank anyone who’s read this and taken time to leave feedback
good and bad! This is my first fic I’ve ever written so didn’t expect anyone to actually
read it Big thank you to all the nice comments especially! Really appreciate it!!!!!!❤️

PS @infinitewolfstar is also editing our joint fic atm as we wanted to make some
changes to details so won’t be updating that one for awhile. She is genuinely such a
genius idk how she does it

If you made it to the end, hi and thank you ❤️

FRENCH TRANSLATIONS:
Maman et Papa ont dècouvert que j’avais menti à propos d’aller avec mes amis to
Diagon Alley- Mum and Dad found out I lied about going with my friends to Diagon
Alley

et toi? Le truc avec Nic- and you? The thing with Nic-

Please, ne dis pas son nom- Please, don’t say his name.

Ce qui s’est passè n ètait pas de ta faute- What happened was not your fault.

Je me suis saoulè. J’ai volontairement pris les mèdicaments. J’ai couchè avec luis.
C’est de ma faulte. - I got drunk. I voluntarily took the drugs. I slept with him. It’s my
fault.

Non. Il a profitè de vous. - No. He took advantage of you.

Seuls toi et Effie le savez. S’il vous plâit, ne le dites á personne.- Only you and Effie
know. please don’t tell anyone.
 Chapter 23
Chapter Notes

Trigger warnings:
-Sirius dealing with the aftermath (nothing explicit or detailed)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Sirius is already gone when the other three boys wake up and get ready for breakfast. He’s not in
the Great Hall when they finally make it down. It takes everything in them not to check the map,
eventually though James caves. Remus is secretly grateful, he was going out of his mind with
worry. The anxiety is swiftly swept away as James points Sirius out on the map, he’s walking
towards the Great Hall with Lily, Emma and Marlene. James hides the map, but when the three
girls join the Gryffindor table- Sirius isn’t with them.

”Where did Sirius disappear to?” James asks frowning, his heart hammering against his chest.

”Oh, he was going to the owlery.” Lily supplies with a shrug, “Said he had a letter to send.”

Remus pulls a face, who was he writing to? He glances at James, who offers him a reassuring
smile, before mouthing ‘mum’. It made sense, James had said he spent a lot of time talking about
everything with Effie. Still, Remus couldn’t relax. He felt twitchy not knowing where Sirius was at
all times, not having his eyes on him made him feel all types of panicked. Hogwarts was the safest
place in the entire world though, nothing bad would happen to him at school. He was safe.

Reggie glances at the Gryffindor table, catching Remus’ eye. Their conversation hadn’t left his
mind and Reg was growing more and more determined to do something about it. Seeing Sirius
actively avoiding his friends made him feel so angry, a year ago he wouldn’t have cared, it would
have been none of his business but he had finally got his big brother back and he would be damned
if some filthy heartless squib was going to rob him of Sirius’ happiness and love.

Sirius watches as the owl he selected flies off in the distance, he doesn’t stop staring at the sky
even long after the bird has gone. He often wondered what it meant to be ‘free as a bird’ and he
hoped that he would feel it one day. He was tired. He was tired of always feeling trapped. Trapped
at home, trapped in the closest and trapped in his head, always unable to escape and just be free. It
wasn’t fair.

Regulus is the one who seeks Sirius out. He had hoped he would bump into his brother, but it was
sheer dumb luck that he had his own letter to send. Sirius didn’t notice as Reg entered, selecting an
owl whilst keeping a close eye on the way Sirius just stared blankly at the fluffy white clouds. He
was lost in thought and Reg hated the idea that he was thinking about everything that had
happened. It would take a special kind of fool to not be able to register how hard the last few
months had been. Sirius had fled home,leaving his brother behind, lost his boyfriend then
discovered that same man was dating his younger brother and then when he was finally getting
somewhere, he met the wrong person.

Sirius jumps in surprise when Reg stands besides him, releasing the owl out of the window. Reggie
turns to face him, offering a small uncertain smile that Sirius returns.
”Who are you writing to?” Sirius asks as he watches the owl soar through the open air.

“Evan.” Reg replies, twiddling his fingers, “He got married over the summer.”

Sirius presses his lips together, “Arranged?”

”How else?” Reg snorts bitterly, “I was going to try and apparate with him, he really didn’t want to
marry her but.. he had no other choice.”

”There’s always a choice.” Sirius says, it leaves a bitter taste on his tongue.

He knew now that there wasn’t always a choice at all, people were pressured, forced and coerced
into things every day. People are pressured into marriages just the same as with sex. Reg doesn’t
correct him he just shrugs and stares ahead. Sirius is grateful. Any and all avoidance of what
happened, is exactly what he needs.

”I‘ll be next.”

Sirius side eyes his brother and shakes his head, “You can come with me to the Potters, the offer
still stands. It always stands.”

Reg forces a smile, “I’ll bare that in mind.”

Of course he wanted a way out. He wanted nothing more than to be with Sirius, both of them safe
and hidden from harm, but Reg knew it could only be one. Only one of them could be free and it
was always going to be Sirius. After everything, it was the least Reg could do for him. Sirius
deserved more, he deserved better and Reg found himself so mad at the entire world for not
treating Sirius as such.

He wishes there was a way he could protect his brother from everything. There was still the
unspoken situation with Remus, it sat between them festering away. They’d touched on it briefly
but Sirius knew Reg had fallen in love with Remus, even if Remus hadn’t caught him. Reggie still
had some feelings there, even if Remus didn’t anymore. Sirius knew that, he sensed it and it was
only further proven by Remus’ late night rendezvous with Reggie.

Sirius hadn’t really expected they would go back to sneaking around, if they wanted to be together
the worse case scenario had already happened. His brother loved Remus. They had sex. They
should just be together. Sirius had believed he and Remus would get somewhere this year, he
falsely thought whatever was between them at Diagon Alley would continue on at school but he
had been wrong. He could have swore their was sparks flying between them, nervous butterflies
dancing in their stomachs like they were in third year again. Maybe he just imagined it because he
dared to want it so badly.

”When do you get married?” Sirius questions facing his little brother fully.

”Just after my eighteenth birthday.” Reggie says quietly, “A nice winter wedding.”

Sirius sighs in defeat, he had just over a year to convince Regulus to leave, “Does Remus know?”

”I think everyone does.” Reg deflects, “It was in the daily prophet.”

”What? When?”

”When you went to the Potters, they wanted to deflect from the situation so my engagement was
announced just after New Year.” Regulus mumbles, kicking the wall with his shoe scuffing it, “It
didn’t work. Your scandal was much bigger.” He smirks.

”I aim to please.” Sirius snorts, “I was quite famous wasn’t I?”

”You wish.” Reggie laughs, rolling his eyes at his big headed brother, “The daily prophet is the
only wizarding newspaper in Britain.”

”Yeah, but the Black family is known all over Europe. I can proudly say I was in the French,
German, Italian and Spanish papers too.” Sirius smiles genuinely, “Heard whispers that I had a
small section in The New York Ghost too. Face it Reg, your brother is an international star, an
inspiration to all family rebels-“

”You’re a pest is what you are.” Reg interrupts rolling his eyes sarcastically, “You outshone my
happy engagement announcement. I missed out on engagement gifts because everyone was so
occupied with your runaway scheme.”

Sirius eyes sparkle with delight as his brother plays along with their little joke, he had missed this
more than anything else. Regulus had always been dripping with sarcasm, both playful and harsh
and it made Sirius feel like they were definitely making progress. Maybe he could handle Remus
and Reg dating again, he would try his best anyway just for moments like this.

”Well you know what to do if you want to make the papers then eh?” Sirius says, no longer
smiling, “Take up my offer to join the Potters.”

Reg faces falls and his jaw tenses, “Sirius.”

”The offer-“

”Yes so you’ve said!” Reggie snaps, “The offer is there, I know! I heard you! Okay?!”

”Okay, Reggie.” Sirius mumbles leaning against the wall sadly, “I just want..it doesn’t matter. I’m
sorry.”

Regulus’ heart sinks as he looks at Sirius, he didn’t mean to snap. Remus had mentioned how
much Sirius seemed to jump and flinch at loud noises and raised voices, he had said it reminded
him of first year. Sirius had been so afraid of being punished or hurt that it took him awhile to
adjust and realise he was safe. It seemed as though history was repeating itself once again.

”I’ll think about it Sirius, okay?” Reg says soothingly, “But just.. please don’t bring it up every
five minutes. I need to think.”

”Think about what?” Sirius mutters angrily, “They can’t get to you at Hogwarts and the Potters
will protect you at home.”

Reg sighs, he couldn’t explain to Sirius what would happen. He knew exactly how Sirius would
react if he knew only one of them could be free. He would march home, hold out his arm and grit
his teeth. He would sink into himself, lose every characteristic and loveable trace of his
personality. He would cut his hair, ditch his stupid leather jacket and marry Lyra Greengrass
instead of Regulus. He would give up his entire life, his happiness and sanity for Regulus and
Regulus wouldn’t allow him to.

Sirius watches his brother as he stares out to the sky, something nagging away at him or maybe he
really was thinking about Sirius’ offer. He hoped he was. They could be brothers again, actual
brothers and maybe they wouldn’t need to sneak around and hide their friendship from other
Slytherins.
”Remus goes to the Potters a lot.” Sirius says carefully, “He has his own room there..he didn’t go
this Summer because of me I think..but maybe he would have if you were there too.”

Regulus frowns at Sirius, “What?”

”You know..because you and Remus..” Sirius swallows, unable to finish off his sentence as an
acidic bile rushes up his throat. The idea of them together still made him feel sick.

”We’re friends, Sirius.” Regulus says calmly, noticing the way his brother goes stiff, “We’re just
friends.”

Sirius closes his eyes in frustration, “Don’t lie to me Reg.”

”What?”

”I see how you look at eachother. I saw you both in the potions classroom last night.” Sirius snaps,
“You going to deny it?”

”Fucks sake.” Reg mutters running a hand through his curls, “I am not shagging Remus. Okay?!”

”You were a few months ago!” Sirius yells, his nostrils flaring angrily.

Regulus curses, looking at his brother and groans, “Yeah! And I fucking regret it alright?! I wish I
never fucking went there. He was my first Sirius and I hate myself for it every single fucking day.”

”Reg-“

”No! Alright! He was always yours. He was never mine.” Reg shouts, receiving a few hoots of
annoyance from resting owls, “He loves you, not me. He never loved me, Sirius. Not like that.”

”That’s not true.” Sirius mutters, “He did love you.”

”No, he loves me the same way he loves James and Peter.” Regulus continues heatedly, “He
wanted to talk after the holidays and see where you were both at but then Nic-“

”DON’T.” Sirius screams, shoving Reggie in the chest sending him stumbling back, “Don’t say his
name.”

Reggie’s fall is broken by someones body, his mystery saviour helps him up to his feet and when
Reg looks up he’s face to face with James Potter. He rolls his eyes with annoyance, he was hoping
to avoid James as much as possible after their snog but he was always running into him and frankly
it was pissing him off.

Remus steps around James, staring between the two brothers. Sirius’ chest is rising and falling, his
hands shaking and breathing unsteady. He hesitates as he moved closer, Sirius eyes him with fear
and he steps back again not wanting to upset him.

”Sirius?” James says gently, “You’re alright yeah?”

He nods stiffly, “Sorry.” He murmurs toward Reggie, the guilt consuming him.

”It’s fine.” Reg forces a smile, “I shouldn’t have said his name.”

”I need to shower.” Sirius mumbles as he rushes past his friends and brother as quickly as he can.

“I’ll go.” Remus says noticing James torment between the two siblings.
”Remus wait.” Reg says grabbing his arm, “He thinks we still love eachother. He thinks we’re still
shagging behind his back.”

”Oh.” Remus blinks in surprise, “Why the fuck would he think that?”

”He said he saw us together last night.”

”The map.” Remus groans, “Right okay thanks.”

Remus leaves the Reg alone with James, both of them stand awkwardly besides eachother. Both to
nervous to speak. James was hopeless when it came to flirting or stringing a sentence together in
front of someone he liked. Often he acted like an obnoxious prat, which was why Lily declared she
absolutely hated him and well, he didn’t want Reggie to hate him too.

”Barty fancies you.” Regulus smirks, relishing in the way James turns red and stammers with
confusion.

“Barty?”He splutters, “I thought he was straight?”

Reggie shrugs absently, “Not a clue, but it doesn’t really matter does it? He told me he fancies you
and Sirius.”

”Everyone fancies Sirius.” James supplies.

”I fucking don’t.” Regulus spits horrified, “Not everyone in my family is into keeping it in the
family you know?!” He glares at an embarrassed James for a moment, “Didn’t know you fancied
him.”

”I don’t!” James insists his eyes widening, “He’s like my brother!”

”So I’ve heard.” Regulus mumbles bitterly, “Inseparable.”

James notices and sighs, “Yeah but we’re never going to be real siblings. We don’t fight like
siblings are supposed to-“

”Yeah you get on better with my brother than I do, congratulations Potter.”

”That’s not what I meant.” James sighs, running his hands through his already messy hair.

”What did you mean then hmm?”

”I just meant you’re always going to be his brother, you’ll always be the one he cares about the
most-“

”Careful Potter, you sound jealous.” Reg snarls.

”I am.” James admits with a nod.

Reg stares at James in surprise, he hadn’t expected a confession or admission. He didn’t actually
think James was jealous, why would he be? He had everything Regulus could possibly ever want.
He loving parents, a future he could choose for himself, he had Sirius and was fantastic at
Quidditch.

”I always wanted siblings growing up.” James continues looking glum, “I met Sirius in first year on
the train and I thought yes! I finally have a brother! But then he started to talk about his brother
back at him. About you and I was so jealous.”
”That’s dumb.”

”Yeah.” James admits, “Then you joined us on your first year, I didn’t get the hype. You were so
miserable.”

“You have him now.” Reg shrugs sadly, “Is he as messy as he used to be?”

”The worst.” James says, “His trunk is overflowing with stuff. He rummages through it for his
school stuff, his clothes are always on the floor,rather than hanging them up-“

”That used to drive me insane”. Regulus mutters.

Even though he and Sirius never shared a bedroom, it used to stress him out how untidy and
unorganised Sirius’ own bedroom was. Regulus had everything neatly placed, his clothes hung in
colour order (mainly different shades of grey, black and dark green)and his books stacked
alphabetically. He liked the routine and neatness and entering Sirius’ room had been like entering
the pits of fucking hell.

“There’s a room waiting for you at mine.” James says breaking the silence, “I know you don’t
want to talk about it, but it’s there and Sirius made sure it was perfect for you.”

”He did?” Reg blinks, he hadn’t known a room was already waiting and ready for him.

”Yeah, we all did.” James explains gently, “We all want you out of that place where you’ll be safe.
You know Sirius spent all last Christmas begging to go back and get you?”

Regulus’ heart stops as he takes a deep breath, he hadn’t know that, he just assumed Sirius left him
behind without a second thought.

”We still don’t know how he managed to get through the floo in the state he was in.” James
continues, his eyes pouring into Reggie’s, “But you know don’t you?”

”What?” Regulus exhales, nervous by the way James is looking at him.

”You know how he got out of that place.” James steps closer, “It was you, wasn’t it?”

“I..uh..”

Reg shakes his head laughing to himself, how had James Potter figured it out? No one else had
ever suspected him but James? James was standing before him and asking him straight. He
wouldn’t dare admit it, anyone could be listening in and admitting it would be yet another memory
to hide away from his Mothers legilimency skills. No one could ever know he was the reason
Sirius had got away.

James takes Reggie’s silence as the answer he needs. He smiles to the younger boy, his brown eyes
bright with happiness.

”Thank you.”

”What?” Regulus asks snapping out of his trance.

”Thank you for getting him out.” James says sincerely, “He probably would have died if you-“

”I know.” Reg snaps glaring at James, “I saw it happen okay?”

James rolls his eyes, “Relax. I’m not your enemy.”

”Says who?” Reg asks defensively, “I definitely don’t like you.”

James cocks his eyebrow smugly as his tongue pokes out the side of his mouth, “Didn’t seem that
way outside the Gryffindor common room that night, but sure Reggie you absolutely hate me.”

Reg feels as if he’s been slapped, he stares at James his mouth hung open slightly as he tries to
recover. He assumed James didn’t remember anything, he had quite a bit to drink hadn’t he?

”I do.” Reg argues weakly, “I do hate you.”

James takes another step, his warm breath tickling the side of Reggie’s face as he whispers lowly
in his ear, “Are you sure about that?”

Regulus swallows harshly, watching as James pulls away from his ear. James looks into Reggie’s
stone cold grey eyes, his eyes wandering to his pink lips and longing to feel them against his own
again. Reg pushes James away, mortified by the tension growing between them. He goes to push
him again but James grabs hold of his wrist before he gets chance, he’s wearing an arrogant shit
eating grin and Reg wants to scream as his stomach starts doing flips.

James is growing more cocky by the second, it turned out that being confident and flirty with Lily
Evans didn’t work, but with Regulus? It did. Reg was flustered. He was swallowing nervously, his
eyes were staring at James unable to tear away and James knew it was working. His cool and
arrogant demeanour was snatched away by his sheer overwhelming excitement. He broke into a
massive smile and let Reggie’s wrist go, backing away from him whilst maintaining eye contact.

”What the fuck was that?” Regulus manages to splutter after a moment, shoving James away from
him again, “What the fuck?”

”That was nothing.” James shrugs as he starts walking towards the stairs, “I can show you more
some other time, but I got to go and check on your brother.”

Reggie stands dumbfounded in the owlery, staring at the spot James had just been standing. His
heart racing in his chest, his palms sweating as he tries to regather his composure. James had let
him believe he was too drunk to remember, yet he had remembered all this time? He furrows his
eyebrows as he tries to think logically. James was Sirius’ best friend. He had already dated Sirius’
soulmate. Sirius might actually murder him for even thinking James was hot. It wasn’t as if he was
the only person in school who thought that, a great many girls (and gays) thought James Potter was
a god. It didn’t matter if James was attractive though he was still an arrogant piece of shit. It didn’t
matter if Reggie had a small insignificant crush on James, there were plenty of other people around
the castle he had a crush on like..well, Remus.

Remus was hot, loads of people thought so and Reg was one of them. Having dated the man gave
him insight and made him crush even more, but he would have been a fool to stay. He hoped Sirius
and Remus could fix it for many reasons, one being that he would stop crushing on Remus if he
was his brothers boyfriend. It was just what made sense. The main being, that Remus made Sirius
happy and when he was fulfilling his duty as heir- he would know Sirius was safe.

James didn’t matter, Reg and James were not close. They shared one kiss and it had been nothing
but a mistake. A mistake that neither of them had forgotten about, but a mistake either way. It
doesn’t matter how soft and gentle James’ lips are, it doesn’t matter how it feels to.. nothing
matters, it doesn’t matter. He can’t get involved with someone else who matters to Sirius, he can’t
do it. He refuses to do it. He won’t betray his big brother again.

Reg doesn’t know how long he’s standing in the owlery, surrounded by literal bird shit but it’s
awhile. After the time he’s finished having yet another gay crisis, he goes straight to his class
arriving late and thinking of that stupid dorky arrogant tosser, James Potter.

That night in the quiet dorm room, Barty finally returns and glances at Reg who is lost in deep
thoughts. He jumps onto the bed, grinning at him like a Cheshire Cat as he waits for the latest
development in Reggie’s tragic life.

”Did you speak to Evan?” Is the first thing Barty asks.

Reg nods gloomily, “Sent a letter today, should get a reply within the week.”

“What’s up?” Barty asks, rising his brow as a challenge.

”Potter.”

Barty smirks knowingly, “Well,I did tell you crushes develop rapidly.”

“Yeah yeah.” Reg grunts in annoyance.

”I’m going to bed.” Barty states then shrugs, “If you fancy some good cock to get your mind off
things let me know.”

“Shut up.” Reg mutters, rolling his eyes.

Barty laughs, “I’m not joking.”

”I know you’re not.”

”Your loss, just ask Evan.”

Reg sits up at this news, “You and Evan?! You and Evan? When?”

”Before he got married.” Barty says smugly, “A few times.”

”Why am I only just hearing about this now?”

Barty shrugs as a flicker of sadness appears across his face and disappears just as fast, “I..It was
ours, you know? Something that was just for us.”

”Yeah..”Reg says, laying back on his pillow.

Something that was just for us.

Maybe he could have something just for him. Maybe he could have someone just for him. Their
little secret, something that Sirius never needed to know about. He would never be able to commit
to James the way he had done with Remus, it was too risky but maybe he could steal a few
moments just for himself.

Regulus let himself think about the what ifs and the maybes. He lets himself dream of James
Potter, but he knows he won’t act on anything. Sirius was his top priority. He wouldn’t do
something like that again, he couldn’t.

He shouldn’t.

He really really shouldn’t.

Chapter End Notes

I started writing a “spin off” about Rosekiller, you’re so welcome for all the pain and
angst that’s coming in that one lol. It’s only going to be a short story, and it ties in with
the timeline of this one. It won’t be Rosekiller endgame let me just start there, but if
you fancy a good cry maybe give it a go? I’m trying to make it really sad idk why

I’ll be posting the first chapter of that either today or tomorrow and be aiming for
weekly updates until it’s complete.

It’s called Twin Flame btw!

As for this fic there may be a few extra chapters than what is currently shown but
we’re definitely nearing the end now! Finally!
 Chapter 24
Chapter Notes

Trigger warnings:
- aftermath of SA
- talking about what happened (feelings, thoughts after what happened)
Only for the first bit after that it isn’t mentioned again in the story but I imagine they
work on it “behind the scenes” iygm
Talks of war

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Remus is wheezing when he finally reaches their dorm room, he hadn’t realised how fast Sirius
could be when he had his mind set on something. He almost collapses on the hardwood floors as
he struggles to breathe air into his lungs, at his age he should not be struggling this much with
stairs. His entire body is hurting and bones are clicking.He leans against the nearest bed post
(Peters) and takes long deep breaths as he listens to the running water in their en-suite. Sirius had
always taken ridiculously long showers, going through his entire intricate haircare and body
washing routine steadily. ‘It takes work to have hair this beautiful, not all of us can stomach having
hair as messy as James’’. Since Nick though, the showers had become more frequent and lasted
even longer as he never felt clean anymore.

There was absolutely no one in the world that Remus hated more than Nick. Seeing Sirius become
a broken version of himself, his face plastered with fake smiles and forced laughter hurt. He was
quieter than ever, he had never been so silent in all his life. Remus hated that too, he would do
anything to hear Sirius’ loud voice 24/7 again. It was horribly silent without it. Remus sits on the
edge of Peters bed, bracing himself for the moment Sirius emerged. Remus strains his ears,
listening past the sound of shower water and he can hear the faint muffled sobs of Sirius crying. He
stands to his feet and starts pacing, the horrible twisting stab in his chest hurting as he listens. He
can’t bare it.

He knocks on the bathroom door, he hears Sirius sniffle and hold his breath. He knocks again. He
listens as Sirius steps out, grabbing a towel then he steps back as he hears the door unlocking.
Sirius stands there, a towel wrapped around his hips, his skin blotchy pink from crying and he
blinks at Remus with tear filled eyes. Remus stares, his eyes looking at the unexpectedly tattooed
skin. Sirius self consciously attempts to cover his naked torso with his hand, trying to hide as many
of the inkings as he can.

”When did you-“

”Nick.” Sirius croaks, swallowing harshly as he locks eyes with Remus, “He..he’s a tattoo artist.”

Remus’ face softens, his own eyes glistening with the threat of tears. Sirius was walking around
with constant reminders of this man, his artwork covering his flesh.

Remus suddenly reaches for his wand he sees the way Sirius flinches at the unexpected movement
and carefully steps towards him.

“I can fix it.”

Sirius watches with confusion as Remus starts waving his wand against his skin, muttering an
enchantment to himself and then his eyes widen and his breath releases as the tattoos begin to
disappear under Remus’ spell.

”W-what?” Sirius blinks in surprise as the tattoos disappear.

Remus steps back when he’s done, “I can reverse it if you-“

”No.” Sirius says instantly shaking his head as he stares at his now blank skin, “Thank you.”

”I can try and magic some tattoos if you want..”

Sirius frowns, “You can do that?”

”Yeah.” Remus nods, “I’ll just look up the spell work for it and then..if you want I’ll tattoo you
instead, maybe James too. We can make them extra special that way-“

Sirius rushes forward and envelopes Remus in his arms, “Thank you. I love you so much Moony
and I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything I wish I never-I fucked everything up. I always fuck
everything up.”

”No you don’t.” Remus whispers against his ear, “You’re not a fuck up. You made a mistake and
I..I fucked up.I was so angry that I wanted to hurt you,I wouldn’t even listen to you because if I had
I would have known it was an accident. I never thought about anything but getting back at you
and..” Remus swallows, “It ruined everything. I..it’s all my fault.”

Sirius pulls back and shakes his head, “It’s not. I shouldn’t have gone back to his place. It was
dumb considering I didn’t even know him. I thought the distraction was a good idea.”

”I wanted to ask you to come with me..but you were with Emma and you were laughing with her
and.. I didn’t want to ruin your day.” Remus whispers his heart shattering in his chest, “I’ll forever
wish that I had just asked.”

”We were getting somewhere right?” Sirius asks quietly, “We..”

”Yeah.” Remus confirms, “I think so. I’m proud of you, for everything.”

”Yeah?” Sirius whispers, “Does that mean you noticed?”

”I did.” Remus smiles softly, “I never stopped noticing you.”

Sirius swallows and casts his eyes away, “and what about my brother?”

”We are friends.” Remus answers, placing his hand on Sirius face and gently turning it towards
him. Sirius locks eyes with him, his bottom lip trembling as Remus repeats, “We’re just friends.”

“What about the potions classroom that night?” Sirius asks, struggling to believe Remus.

Remus sighs, “We met up to talk about Nick. We want..well, we want to erm..hurt him.”

”Hurt him?”

”He hurt you.”

”I don’t want either of you to do that.” Sirius decides, “I don’t want you two to hurt anyone.
Please? Just..can’t you leave it alone? Can’t we just..”
Remus waits for Sirius to finish his sentence but the older boy just looks away again, fresh tears
start falling from his eyes as he starts crying frustratedly. Remus tentatively wraps his arms around
him and holds him for a moment, gently rocking them both and planting a soft loving kiss to the
top of Sirius’ head.

”Heal.” Sirius finally says after a long stretch of silent tears, “Can’t we just heal? Me and
you..can’t we just..I just.. I can’t do this without you, Moony.”

”I’m here.” Remus vows, “I’m right here, whatever you need.”

”I need you.” Sirius chokes, “I need us.”

Remus smiles weakly, pulling away slightly to look into Sirius’ grey eyes and nods, “Okay.”

”Yeah?”

”Yeah.”

”I don’t think I can do..I don’t think I can-“

”I love you.” Remus reassures, “I can live without sex Sirius. We don’t do anything you’re not
ready for and we work together to get through this, okay? We healed and matured away from each
other, but this thing with Nick, is not something you need to face alone.”

”Promise?”

”I promise.” Remus says, resting his forehead against Sirius’, “We’re all here for you, not just me
but your brother, James, Pete..we all want to help you. We’re all a team, yeah? And if you need
help, you get one of us. You don’t need to talk about it but if you just need someone there, then let
us be there.”

”Thank you.” Sirius starts to sob again, the feeling heavy in his chest. It doesn’t hurt, it’s almost as
if his heart is healing as he looks into Remus’ hazel eyes filled with so much love and genuine
care. He didn’t lose him. He’s right here.

”I love you, Sirius.” Remus confirms, his own eyes filling with tears, “I love you so much.”

”I love you too, Remus Lupin.” Sirius whispers, his breath getting caught in his throat.

Both of their knees seem to weaken, they end up on the floor just holding each other as they cry in
each other’s arms, foreheads resting against each other as they cry and smile softly. All Sirius
thinks as he sits on the floor of their dorm, in Moony’s arms is home. I am finally finally home. He
never felt more at ease or more safe and secure and loved than right in Remus’ arms, it was his
happy place. Remus was his person. Always had been and always would be.

The bedroom door swings open, both boys look up and see James Potter panting as he leans against
the door frame looking relieved. They hadn’t murdered each other after all. He smiles at them,
taking a deep breath, then dives right towards them and wraps his arms around them both.

”Group hug!!!” He announces happily, glancing over his shoulder as Pete appears at the door,
“Come here Wormy.”

Peter hesitates before being dragged into the pile up by James, all four of them laugh heartily as
Peter squirms hopelessly before giving up and wrapping his arms around his friends.
”I love you all so much.” James grins, “Marauders are back together!”

”You know what that means?” Sirius asks, the familiar glint of mischief in his voice.

James breaks into an even wider smile, “Sirius I could fucking snog you right now.”

”What are we going to do then?” Remus sighs, rolling his eyes a little with no real heat behind it.

He had to be the responsible friend but if anything he was happy this was happening and he was
glad the marauders were about to do something together. It had been far too long and he could feel
the room starting to fill with excitement and anticipation as they started planning their comeback
prank.

It was perfect. The Great Hall, time delay spells and somehow the Marauders knew the teachers
wouldn’t be mad. They all knew of all the awful things that had taken place, Professor McGonagall
in particular had been keeping an extra close eye on them. She seemed to be aging with worry.
When the four of them walked into the Great Hall, several students started to whisper and point.
Sirius stiffened slightly but was instantly reassured by a big warm hand taking his. Remus smiles
confidently as he gives Sirius’ hand a squeeze. James starts strutting towards Gryffindor table like
it’s a runway, several of the girls groan with annoyance- knowing that something is about to
happen.

”You ready?” Remus asks quietly.

Sirius nods, the two of them following Peter and James to their table. They sit next to each other
for the first time since January, Lily Evans looks close to tears as she watches them together.
Remus smiles at her, she grins excitedly as she waits for the prank to take place.

Regulus Black appears by his brothers side, panic clear across his face,“What have you done?”

”Nothing to the Slytherins.” Sirius smiles.

Reggie notices Remus’ hand holding his brothers and relaxes slightly, he inhales shakily and smiles
to himself. They had clearly fixed things and despite his own feelings, he was relieved it had been
sorted. A world without Sirius and Remus didn’t make sense, they were soulmates and they would
find each other in every single lifetime. They could be fucking fish in the Pacific Ocean and still
find their way to each other somehow. They were just meant to be.

“You can sit with us.” James says with a cocky expression on his face, “I highly suggest that you
do.”

Reggie furrows his eyebrows, ”I thought you said you didn’t do anything to Slytherin!”

”We didn’t.” James smirks, “We did it to all-“

”For fucks sake.” Regulus mutters, taking a seat besides his brother.

His best friend Barty, stands awkwardly behind them before Reg swears under his breath and drags
him into the empty seat next to him. Barty fiddles with his fingers as he awaits the prank, his
nerves in his throat. The marauders were notorious for doing the most extravagant and
extraordinary pranks but after a long hiatus, they always went that extra step further. Most of the
students were sat on the edge of their seats, just waiting for something to happen. Only the
confused first years continued to eat like nothing was amiss.
The meal passed and nothing happened.

“What the fuck?” Reg demands furiously, “You did this on purpose.”

”Is..this the prank?” Barty asks looking around at the undisturbed Great Hall.

”Don’t offend me.” Sirius scoffs, “We’re far too creative for that.”

James continues wearing his arrogant shit eating grin as students stare at the four of them
expectantly. Everything was going according to plan. Everyone heads to classes, nerves heightened
whenever they cast eyes on the marauders, they were definitely up to something but no one knew
what. Even some of the teachers took extra measures to keep a comfortable distance between
themselves and the pranksters.

Reggie grows impatient after a week. People were starting to move on and forget about the
pending prank but they were the marauders and frankly it was more fool them. The marauders
wouldn’t just let it go, they had something under their sleeves and Reg was determined to figure it
out. Sirius was so wrapped up in Remus, the two of them were rarely not together. As happy as
Regulus was for the couple, he figured it was safer for him to keep away for now. He was Remus’
ex boyfriend and Sirius’ little brother after all, and maybe that reminder isn’t one that was needed
at the moment.

He also wanted an excuse to talk to James.

He hadn’t stopped thinking about the time they kissed, he hadn’t stopped thinking about their
conversation in the owlery and he couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of something being
there between them. It didn’t matter how often he told himself that it was Sirius’ best friend. It
didn’t matter when he reminded himself that he had already betrayed his brother once. He couldn’t
get James Potter out of his fucking head.

He approaches James outside in the courtyard one day by pure chance. He was certain that the
older boy was avoiding him, but finally he had a window of opportunity and he wasn’t about to let
it pass him by. James was flirting with Lily Evans, she appeared to be laughing which was a new
reaction but Reg didn’t care. He knew exactly how to get Potters attention.

”I need to talk about Sirius.” Reg announces, ignoring Lily entirely, “It’s urgent.”

James’ smile disappears and Reg finds his heart sinking, he wanted James to smile. James nods
anxiously, waving briefly to Lily as he follows Reg to a hidden alcove in the castle. Reg stares at
James’ sullen expression, his wide panicked eyes as he waits impatiently for Reggie to start
speaking.

”Spit it out!” James demands.

Regulus starts smiling and steps forward, “He’s fine.”

”What the hell?!”

”You've been avoiding me, Potter.”

James blinks and recoils slightly, “Yeah..well..you..”

”You and Lily?” Reg guesses, his heart sinking a little more.

”No.” James snorts, “Shes been helping me with stuff that’s all.”
”Yeah sure.”

”Reg, I mean it. She’s just my friend, she’s been helping me understand who I am..my sexuality.”
James whispers, “I erm..I think I’m pan.”

Reg softens a little as he looks at the nervous expression on James’ face, “Thanks for telling me.”

”You and Lily are the only two who know, I thought I was bisexual but there’s so many different
sexualities and pansexual just..it fits better, you know?”

”Yeah.” Reg smiles, “Actually..do you think you could talk to Barty? I think..he’s struggling at the
moment with his sexuality and..if you could help then..”

”Yeah, I’ll try.” James nods, lost in Reggie’s face, his smile suddenly fades and he stares at Reg.
His face twisted in confusion, “Hang on. We’re you jealous of me and Lily?”

Reggie stammers and trips over his own words as he desperately tries to deny everything, James
just laughs and closes the space between them. Reggie’s back against the wall, their bodies pressed
together as he stares into James’ hungry eyes.

”I was talking to Lily about you.” James mumbles, his face burning with nerves, “I told her, how
much I like you and how badly I want to kiss you.”

”Do it.”

“Hmm?”

”Kiss me.”

James gasps slightly, “Are you su-“

”Shut up.” Reg says, pulling James’ face down towards him and kissing his mouth.

James stills for a moment, the feeling of Regulus’ lips on his causing internal panic before he
closes his eyes and starts kissing back. They were kissing and they were sober. They were sober
and they were kissing. It was better than he imagined it would be, the two of them hidden away
snogging like their lives depended on it. James’ hands grab ahold of Reggie’s hips as the kiss
deepens, he moans a little against Regulus’ mouth and Reg smirks to himself. James is panting, his
hips starting to thrust needily into Reggie.

”Not a word to Sirius.” Reg warns as he starts kissing James’ neck, “I mean it Potter.”

”Not a word.” James vows as he tilts his head back and Reg starts sucking his neck like a
bloodthirsty vampire.

”Good boy.” Reg praises him, his hands wandering lower and squeezing James’ hardening dick
between the fabric.

”Shit Reg.” James mutters, “Fuck.”

”Don’t avoid me again.” Reg says as he removes his hand, “and maybe next time I’ll get on my
knees for you.”

”Shit.”

Regulus smirks as he leaves the alcove, his heart hammering violently against his chest as he
leaves James behind. James rests his head against the wall, his own heart racing as he starts
thinking of other things to soften himself before class. Had that just happened? Had Reg really just
taken charge? Seeked him out? Sirius was absolutely going to kill him. Reggie was Sirius’ baby
brother and he would murder James for this. James was a dead man walking.

In his uncertain state, of course Reggie would bump into Sirius and Remus. The two of them were
holding hands, talking quietly to each other and Reg walked right into them, his mind spinning with
thoughts of James. Sirius broke into a wide smile at the sight of his brother but Remus stepped
back slightly, a raised eyebrow as he stared at Reggie’s flustered expression. Of course Remus
knew what he looked like after snogging. He’d spent months doing it with the tall boy last school
year.

”Where were you?” Sirius asks, “I’ve been searching for you.”

”Oh here and there..” Reg shrugs noncommittal, glaring at Remus as he huffs out a laugh.

Sirius head snaps towards his boyfriend then back towards his brother, obvious paranoia written
across his face. Remus steps back besides him, once again taking his hand and squeezing it
reassuringly.

”You two know something I don’t.” Sirius mutters, unhappy to be left out of the secret between the
former lovers.

”I was shagging Barty okay?” Reg hisses, rolling his eyes as Sirius starts gagging dramatically.

”You two can keep your secrets if it’s stuff like that, ugh.” Sirius groans miserably.

Reg snorts, “You’re the one who was about to spiral thinking we’d been fucking when Remus
hasn’t left your side in weeks.”

”Okay fuck off.”Sirius snaps, storming past his younger brother angrily, “Fuck off.”

”Oi Sirius will you just wait!?” Remus calls after him, muttering miserably under his breath as
Sirius continues storming down the stairs, “Fucks sake.”

“Maybe you should just propose to him already, it’s obvious he will never trust us together.” Reg
sighs, “I don’t want you Remus, I just want my brother back and everyone else gets him, but me.”

”You’ve got him.” Remus says hurriedly, “It will just take him a bit of time to..accept that
we happened but you’ve always got him.”

”I guess.”

Remus smiles as he looks over his shoulder at Reg, “Probably wouldn’t keep Potter a secret for
long, he will end up walking in on you both.”

”Speaking from experience are you?” Reg laughs, remembering the time Sirius quite literally
walked in on them in the library.

Remus tuts dismissively, “Just.. be careful. He will most likely kill James for this.”

”What? James is his best friend.” Reg frowns, “He will kill me, just like he wanted to when I was
shagging you.”

”Actually.. he would kill James because you’re his baby brother and James knows that his best
friends brother is off limits.”

”What about you then? You still went there.”

”Different circumstances. Also Sirius could never kill either of us, he loves us too much.”

”He loves James too much if you ask me.”

”Yeah, maybe but you will always be his baby brother.”

”REMUS! Are you fucking coming or are you flirting with my fucking brother again?!” Sirius
yells furiously from somewhere down the stairs.

Remus rolls his eyes, “Coming love!”

”Good luck.” Reg mutters, “Wait Remus! Don’t tell him.”

Remus laughs, “Yeah you’re on your own with that. I’m not telling him I don’t want to witness a
brutal murder.”

Sirius is leaning against the bannister, his eyebrow raised as Remus slowly walks down the stairs
and a massive smirk plastered on his pretty face. Remus’ eyebrows shoot up suspiciously as Sirius
takes a cig from behind his ear and lights it with a click of his fingers.

”I knew you’d come running if I said that.”

Remus clicks his tongue in annoyance, “You absolute bastard.”

”Not my fault I don’t want to share.”

”He wants his big brother, not me.” Remus defends sternly, “Stop being so hard on him yeah? You
can’t forgive me and not forgive him too.”

”He’s the one who didn’t learn his lesson, he’s sneaking behind my back with James now.” Sirius
states smoking his cig with a sly smirk.

”How could you possibly know that?”

”I have eyes everywhere.”

”The map.” Remus mutters, running his hand through his hair before snatching the cig from Sirius’
lips.

”The map.” Sirius nods with a small laugh.

Remus stares at Sirius for a long moment, his heart clenching in his chest as he admires the
beautiful man in front of him. He smokes the cig whilst looking at him and somehow falling even
deeper in love. He could move to another country, be separated by the ocean and he would still
manage to find his way back to Sirius again and again.

”You’re not mad?” He asks after a long moment of staring at his long eyelashes and feeling his
oxygen being stolen away.

Sirius shrugs, “No I’m not mad…I’m in love with you, not James.”

”It really doesn’t bother you that your best friend and your little brother are-“
”Doesn’t mean I want to talk or think about it Remus.” He grumbles miserably, “Just.. Prongs..he
could be good for Reg.”

“Wow..” Remus whispers in awe, “That’s really mature, Siri.”

”Shush.” Sirius blushes, burying his head into Remus’ shoulder, “I just want everyone to be
happy.”

James lays awake staring at the map, he wants to get Reg alone except he’s in the Slytherin
common room and hasn’t moved. He’s probably fell asleep there. Sirius is back in Remus’ bed,
holding onto Remus tightly as they both sleep and fill the room with light snores. In his own bed,
Peters much louder Earth shattering snores fill the room, followed by a few undignified squeaks-
one of the side affects of his animagus rat form. James smiles fondly at his three best friends, a few
months ago it was so tense in their room and now everything was back to the way it should be. He
finally had his own bed back to himself, no more Sirius digging his toes into the back of James
legs or trying to snuggle him too tightly. There was a time he thought it wouldn’t be possible. That
the group was torn to shreds for good, but they were okay and it was prove they could survive
anything.

His eyes wander aimlessly over the map, he notices Professor Dumbledore pacing in his office. He
did that an awful lot, especially recently. Everyone knew of the war raging on outside the safety of
the castle wars and Dumbledore was definitely involved. He was one of the most powerful wizards
in the world, it would be stupid to not have him on side.

He then notices Barty Crouch, sat alone in a hidden alcove. It takes James a moment but it’s the
same alcove he’d been sat in when Barty and Evan came stumbling in, snogging each other like
they needed it to live. Evan had been his sexual awakening that same day, he wonders if Barty
knows about it.

James isn’t close with Barty or Evan, but Reggie had mentioned Barty was struggling recently and
before he can talk himself out of it, James is on his way to Barty. There’s no one else awake to
keep either of them company, James’ own mind is spinning with thoughts of Reg and who knew
Reggie best? Barty Crouch. It was a win- win really.

He clears his throat upon arrival, startling Barty slightly as he lifts his head from his knees and
looks at James. His eyebrows furrow together in confusion as James settles down besides him, that
infamous James Potter grin slapped on his face. Barty subtly wipes his eyes with his sleeve, but
James has already seen him crying.

”Are you alright?” James asks stupidly, his face filled with concern.

Barty laughs and groans into his hands, “Fucking hell.”

”Didn’t think it would be me?” James smiles kindly, “Reggie asked me to talk to you.”

Barty’s head snaps up towards James, “He did?”

”Yeah, he’s worried and said I might be able to help better than he can.” James says gently with a
shrug, “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want but-“

”I love him.” Barty says quite suddenly, “I think I will love him forever.”

”Who? Regulus?” James frowns, his heart pounding in his chest.

”No.” Barty chuckles, his eyes glistening with fresh tears, “Evan.”

”He loved you too.” James says instantly, because it’s true and it’s factual because Evan had said
as much before they snogged that day.

”He left me behind.” Barty mumbles, “He got married to that witch and now…”His voice cracks
as he thrusts an abandoned letter from besides him into James’ hands.

James looks at the letter, he looks back at Barty who’s sobbing and he can feel Barty’s heart
breaking with every breath he takes. It’s painful to witness and he can only imagine how much it
hurts to feel actually feel it.

My dearest love,

How is Hogwarts? I never thought I would miss school the way I have, it always bored me to death
and I failed to appreciate the other aspects- sharing a dorm with my best friends, the food!!!! and
weekend trips to Hogsmede. I even miss some of the professors, I miss being able to get things
wrong without punishment and above all I miss you (and Reg if you’re reading needy boy!) every
single day I imagine what it would have been like if we simply had more time. If we hadn’t wasted
what little time we had avoiding each other. Out of all the love stories I know and all the ones I’ve
heard of, ours is our favourite- it’s so painful but merlin I can’t stop loving you.
Writing to you is such a massive risk, but I had to. I had to let you know that I still think of you
every day and I will for the rest of my life. I’d love to kiss you, even if it’s just one last time. I miss
feeling your lips against mine. I miss holding you in my arms and running my fingers through your
hair.
I am writing for a reason, I shouldn’t put it off but there’s so much I want to say. So much I wish
you could understand but I haven’t got long. Tomorrow the news will hit the daily prophet and
merlin knows I don’t want you to learn about it from a newspaper. I am so sorry my love, it’s
breaking my heart to have to write this. I’m going to be a Father, we found out two weeks ago and
I’ve been trying to find the best way to inform you and Regulus both because I know it’ll freak you
both out. I’m not old enough to be a Father. I know. I should still be at Hogwarts for fucks sake. I
wish it wasn’t happening, I’m so frightened. We all know the pure blood way of having children, I
swear to you I didn’t sleep with her- I couldn’t anyway. She isn’t you and I’m fucking gay for fucks
sake but the baby is mine. My parents know I’m in love with a man, they think it’s Regulus of all
people! I know he’s pretty but he’s not you is he? You’re beautiful baby. I’m glad they don’t know
it’s you, they won’t harm Reg but you..gods I don’t know what they would do to you. I love you so
much. I wish I could runaway, come to the castle and take you away but they’d find me easily. The
stupid mark is traceable.. honestly if you can get Reg out of it- please do. I know that means you
wouldn’t be able to come here and be with me but it means you would both be safe and I’d much
prefer knowing you were both safe. The dark lord is such an evil man, a lot of murders are being
kept a secret at the moment- going unreported or being disguised as muggle accidents. It’s all us. I
don’t want you to come here baby, I want you to find a nice quiet place to live and when it’s all
blown over I’ll come and find you after the war. Take Reggie too, they’re planning initiation for
him this Christmas. I overheard the Blacks talking about it with the Malfoy’s, I don’t want him to
go through that. It’s not a nice experience and Reggie is more vulnerable than he appears, we both
know he’s a massive softy at heart. He wouldn’t be able to handle it baby, you have to convince
him not to. Tell him to follow his big brother to safety, Potter will help him. We both know how
smitten Reg is with him. I have to go baby, my wife is starting to wake. When the war is over, when
it’s safe again can I please come back to you? I don’t want to live in a world where you’re not in
my life, it’s shit without you.

I love you. Forever yours, E.

 James rereads the letter over and over again, there’s so much to unpack from the tear stained, ink
run letter. Three people had read this and cried, James being one of them. He had always had an
idea in his head that the death eaters were willing participants in the war, Sirius had managed to get
away hadn’t he? He was tortured and almost killed, he took that over caving and taking the mark
but not everyone was like Sirius. Evan was afraid. Evan did what he had to do to survive. He had a
baby on the way when he should have been enjoying his last two years of Hogwarts, he was
seventeen. He was married to a woman when he was in love with a man.

He had asked Barty to save Regulus.

”I know, it’s a lot.” Barty admits shakily, “Is it bad that the one part I’m focusing on is the last
line?”

”No.” James says softly handing the letter back, “You’re in love with him, you’re allowed to want
him back.”

”I think after the war..” Barty swallows, “If we don’t die, then I’ll take him back. I’ll even take his
child in, Evan would never abandon his baby..”

James smiles, instinctively wrapping an arm around Barty’s shoulders. Barty stiffens at the touch,
feeling extremely uncomfortable at the gentle affection from James Potter of all people. He
struggles free, glaring at the idiot before laughing at the bizarreness of the entire situation.

”Fucking hell.” Barty mutters, “I still can’t believe you and Evan snogged.”

”Me neither.” James shrugs, his eyes filled with laughter.

”and Reggie too?” Barty asks, his voice changing slightly, “Do you think..Evan is right? We
should stop Reg from joining them..”

”Yeah.” James nods without hesitation, “Voldemort isn’t..it’s wrong and I know you want to be
with Evan, but it’s safer if you’re not there.”

Barty nods hopelessly, “I..we’ve been planning this since we first found out, all three of us would
get the marks and fight alongside each other and have each others backs, whatever it took to
survive we would do it. Now he’s there and we’re..not going to help him?”

“I know you feel guilty.. I feel guilty too. I’m selfish,” James admits, “I don’t want Reggie to go
into this.. even if it means Evan is the only one of you three on the wrong side.”

”He’s right.” Barty whispers, his voice hoarse, “Reggie wouldn’t be able to handle it but the
Blacks..if they lose Reg as an heir they’ll go back to get Sirius, they need one or the other- that’s
why Reggie refuses to leave the family.”

James stares at Barty, his mouth dry as he takes a sharp breath, “He wants to leave..”

”More than anything.”

Chapter End Notes

Sirius going back to being a little shit❤️

Barty and James becoming… friends?
And because everyone keeps asking, Regulus will be happy. He gets a happy
ending!!!!! because he’s my baby.

I think there’s going to be a handful of extra chapters added but the ending is finally
being reached to whatever the hell this story ended up being thanks to anyone who
stuck with it and sorry to those who wanted Remus and Reg I just couldn’t do it
wolfstar has my heart too much
 Chapter 25
Chapter Notes

French translations at the end!

Also fuck Dumbledore (not literally folks)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“HE WANTS OUT! HE WANTS OUT!” James yells as he barges through the closed door of his
dorm room, tripping over a discarded shoe in the middle of the room.

”James it’s..what time is it?” Peter grumbles, throwing the duvet over his head.

James ignores him and rushes straight to Remus’ bed, pulling back the curtains and jumping on top
of the sleeping couple. Sirius swears as he sits up, glaring at his best friend and presses a finger
against his lip to shush James.

”Do not wake Moony.” He warns with a raised eyebrow.

”Too late.” Remus mumbles as he stifles a yawn.

Sirius shoots James an annoyed look, “Well? What is it?”

“He wants out!” James breathes out hurriedly, still bouncing on the end of the bed, “Reg wants
out!”

Sirius rubs his sleepy eyes with the back of his hands before staring at James with utter confusion,
“Reg wants out?”

Remus sits up hurriedly, hitting heads with Sirius with a loud smack. The boyfriends
simultaneously rub their heads, cursing under their breath.

Remus blinks at James, “Reg wants out?”

“YES! HE WANTS OUT! How many more times have I got to say it?!” James stresses, pushing
his glasses up, “Reg wants to leave Grimmauld Place.”

”You’re wrong.” Sirius sighs, laying back on the pillows dramatically.

Remus rolls his eyes and looks at James hopefully, “What did he say exactly?”

”Oh..”James draws out a long breath of air, “Um..it wasn’t Reg who told me. It was Barty.”

“He told me he would think about.” Sirius supplies, “As in Reg himself not his..minion.”

James rolls his eyes, “Yeah because Reg is well known for asking for help isn’t he?”

Sirius sits up, “Shit..” He mumbles, something that looks a lot like hope flickering in his eyes,
“You really think? Do you think..we can get him out?”
”You already know there’s a room waiting for him!” James says eagerly, “We just have to
convince him to take that step.”

Sirius groans and let’s out a loud sigh of defeat, “I’ve tried and he won’t..he just won’t.”

”He’s afraid.” James supplies softly, “He’s probably scared of what they will do.”

No one had to ask who ‘they’ were. The Black brothers parents were notorious for their abuse,at
least amongst those who knew one of or both of the two siblings. James and Remus had seen it first
hand whenever Sirius would return to school after the holidays. He would leave looking healthy
and come back looking worse for wear. He would return with dark circles, bruises and deep welts
covering his skin. His body would be covered in newly healing scars from the laceration spell. He
would be mentally and emotionally drained until he got used to be safe again.

“They don’t do anything to him.” Sirius states with a small shrug, “He was the good kid. He
follows all of their rules so they had no reason to ever punish him.”

Remus stiffens besides him, holding his breath and closing his eyes as old memories resurface.
Sirius’ head snaps towards him, his eyes immediately begin to burn with tears as he looks at his
boyfriend.

“You’re wrong, Remus.” Sirius chokes out, “You have to be wrong.”

”I’m sorry my love.” Remus whispers softly, his big hand curling in his boyfriends hair as he leans
his forehead against the side of Sirius’ face, “I am sorry.”

”But..I..I stopped them? I took all the blame for his mistakes..I made sure..I made sure-“His voice
cuts off with a harsh sob, “I made sure he was safe..until I wasn’t there anymore..fuck.”

Remus softly kisses his boyfriends temple as he pulls away, his hand clasping around Sirius’ hand
supportively, “We’re going to get him out of there.”

Sirius nods and looks towards James, “What’s your plan Potter?”

The four marauders had admittedly forgotten about their time delay prank. They had been so
preoccupied with everything else that they simply forgot. Remus was busy regaining his boyfriends
trust whilst supporting him as he came to terms with what had happened to him. Sirius was trying
to be brave whilst struggling with the nightmares of everything going on. Peter was pointedly
ignoring his parents letters, each one fighting over him staying with them at Christmas. James was
trying to help all his best friends stay happy, whilst a horrible weight settled in his chest in regards
to Reggie. They were all focusing on plans to get Regulus out of the Black family home. It
preoccupied their every waking moment for weeks.

So yes..they had forgotten.

Until the Great Hall exploded in a sea of red and gold fireworks, enchanted lions sweeping from
the ceiling and roaring ferociously at the other houses before promptly coming together and
exploding into a big shower of Gryffindor coloured goo.

The four boys stared at each other shell shocked before promptly bursting into hysterical laughter
as the outraged screams echoed across the hall. Unable to eat the food any longer, Dorcas
approached the boys with her girlfriend Marlene and the both proceeded to throw their goo infested
dinners at the unsuspecting men. This made Sirius grin widely, his eyes sparkling with familiar
mischief as he grabbed a handful of goo covered mash and threw it at Marlene’s back.

James laughed before standing on the bench and loudly shouting, “FOOD FIGHT!!!”

The benches scraped against the hardwood floors, food was being thrown in every direction as
students laughed and screamed in delight. At the teachers table, their headmaster Albus
Dumbledore watched in amusement as the students had fun.

”Shouldn’t we stop them headmaster?” One of the Professors asked with a gentle nod of the head.

“Not yet.” He smiled sadly thinking of the war, “Allow them to be children for a little longer.”

Regulus storms over to his brother and his stupid friends with Barty close behind him. Barty was
managing to expertly dodge the flying food and goo as he waited for Reg to have his rant. James
looked down at Regulus, smirking at the pout plastered on his beautiful face. He looked gorgeous
covered in the colours of Gryffindor, the red and gold made him look regal and James felt himself
enchanted by the younger of the Black siblings one again.

It seemed to be a reoccurring thing, his eyes would find Reg in every single room and corridor. He
could feel himself drawn in whatever direction his best friends brother was and he wasn’t mad
about it. He heart seemed to stammer whenever he saw him around, a heat would simultaneously
creep up his neck and he’d smiled reflexively. Reg was occupying James’ mind in the way that
Lily Evans had once done and he was kind of relieved.

James had fancied Lily Evans for years but the feelings were never reciprocated. She never liked
him back, if anything she found James annoying and obnoxious, far too arrogant and far too loud.
Ever since his feelings switched, he and Lily had actually managed to become really good friends.
Ironically, it was Lily who had given him advice about Reg as she had once done for Remus-
James tried not to think about that finer detail too much.

”You look good in red.” James winks, making the younger boy blush wickedly.

Reg pretends not to hear James despite his body betraying him and looks pointedly at his older
brother, “Sirius?”

Its only then that James sees the letter in his hands. Sirius glances down, his smile quickly
disappearing from his face as he sees Reggie’s terrified eyes. He jumps down from the bench,
James copying him in solidarity and concern. Reg shakily hands out the letter to him.

”Please help me.”

Sirius disregards the letter completely, his arms wrapping around his baby brother tightly, “je t’ai
mon frère.”

“Je m’excuse. Je suis dèsolè.” Reg whimpers softly, “Ils viendront après nous. J’ai peur Sirius. J’ai
peur.”

“Moi aussi, mais tout ira bien et nous serons en sécurité.” Sirius whispers against his ear, “We will
both be safe at the Potters. Je promets.”

Reggie doesn’t understand how Sirius can make such a huge promise so easily. He doesn’t
understand why he trusts James and his parents so fiercely and without doubts. Regulus knew their
parents, he knew they would come after them. Least of all him, but they would drag Sirius back by
force if necessary. He knew he was being selfish, turning to his brother for help but he couldn’t do
it. He was too afraid to get the dark mark. He didn’t want the dark mark. He didn’t want to be on
that side of the war.

He really didn’t want to marry a girl either.

“What if..what if his parents don’t like me?” Reg whispers quietly, “What if they send me back?”

”They will love you.” James says confidently, “We can sort this.”

After talking with their old headmaster Albus Dumbledore, they just hit blank after blank. The
elderly man wouldn’t budge, Reg was under his families care and he could not leave until he was
18. Sirius royally kicked off. Remus and Peter could hear him yelling angrily, throwing things
from where they were sat waiting in the corridor near the old man’s office. A few minutes later,
Sirius emerged storming past murderously with clenched fist. Seconds later James and Reg came
down the steps, Reggie’s eyes filled with unshed tears.

”It’s not over, Reggie.” James assures, rubbing the younger boys back.

Regulus throws James’ arm off him as he looks to the floor, his voice quite as he says, “It’s fine.
Thank you for trying.”

The three of them watch as Reg slowly shuffles away, hanging his head lowly as he disappears
round the corner.

“It didn’t go well then?” Remus asks with a sigh.

“It’s not over just yet Moony.” James smiles his eyes sparkling, “I have an idea.”

Remus grimaces, James’ ideas were often a disaster waiting to happen but he wanted Reg out too.
He needed Regulus to be safe too. More importantly, he had to check on his devastated boyfriend
so he could not stick around to see James’ plan through or advise him or steer him. He just had to
trust that James knew what he was doing.

James wastes no time penning a letter to his parents, borrowing his friend Lily’s owl to send it. He
hadn’t thought about the waiting time for a response. He hadn’t thought about that part at all. It
wasn’t as though he could disapparate on school grounds or travel to them via the floo network-
Hogwarts was strict about who they let in and out of the castle. Apparently they were less strict
about the well-being of their students.

James flops himself into the common room sofa, impatiently tapping his fingers on the arm rest as
he waits for Lily’s owl to return. He knows that realistically it won’t be until late morning, but he
could not rest until he knew Regulus was safe. He realised with a heavy heart that really, Albus
Dumbledore should have done more in his position of headmaster. James was actually really
disappointed, a student was being abused and he had done nothing. James had kept potentially
being bitten by a werewolf from his parents- something that never should have taken place. Why
was Dumbledore so willing to jeopardise Reggie’s safety? Why was he so willing to let James
panic alone instead of telling his parents?

He had admired the headmaster for a long time. He had heard many great stories about the elderly
man and all he had done for the wizarding community, but James could feel the doubt creeping in.
He couldn’t feel the trust disappearing with each thought. Dumbledore knew Evan Rosier was to
be forced into an arranged underage marriage and done nothing to stop it. He did nothing to fight
for his students in emerald green and it made James feel sick to his stomach.

”He’s sleeping.” Remus’ voice comes from behind him.

James watches Remus with furrowed eyebrows as he sinks into the sofa besides him. Remus
looked distraught as he rested his head into the palms of his hands and sighed.

”Do you still love him?” James asks quietly, “Reg I mean..”

Remus head snaps up to look at James, he starts shaking his head and stammering, “No. No. Not in
that way at least..I just really care about him. In the time we were dating I got to see him for who
he really was, as friends too.. we used to think he was a sly evil snake but he’s so much more than
that. Honestly it scares me a little, thinking that…knowing that..” Remus takes a large inhale of air,
“I can’t standby and watch his life get destroyed.”

“I wrote to my parents, they’ll sort this just like they did with Padfoot.” James nods reassuringly, he
had complete faith in his parents ability to get Reg under their care.

Reg holds the letter tightly against his bare chest, tears streaming uncontrollably down his face. He
didn’t want to home. He didn’t want to take the dark mark, he didn’t want to lose his big brother
yet again or have to miss out on getting to know James Potter. He could feel his arm burning,
tingling as if it were reminding him of what was to come.

His bedroom curtain twitches open, Barty stands there, his face saying it all. He needed his friend.
Reg budges over to make room for his friend before turning on his side so they were face to face.
Barty takes a shaking breath, his eyes burning with tears as he gets a letter from his own pocket.
Reg reaches for it, suddenly incredibly nervous as he tries to get a read on Barty.

Barty seemed closed off, disassociating right before his eyes and Reg felt himself beginning to
panic before he ever knew why. He uncurled the crumpled up letter, his gaze dropping from Barty
to the smudged words in front of him.

My dearest love,

I am sorry.

I love you.

I will always love you.

Reg stared wordlessly at the letter, his throat tightening as he tried to wrap his head around it. He
didn’t need to ask. He already knew what it meant. He could feel it in his gut and in his heart. A
piece of him was gone. Evan was gone.

He wrapped his arms around Barty, letting him sob painfully into the crook of Reggie’s neck. He
could feel his best friends heart physically breaking. His painful gut wrenching cries filled the
otherwise silent dormitory, whilst Reggie’s own tears fell silently. His own heart cracking in his
chest as he realised he would never see Evan again. He took a deep shuddering breath, his panic
setting in once again when he realised selfishly..

they would move forward his initiation to join Voldemort now.

Lily’s owl furiously pecked at James hand as he continued snoring on the sofa, his head resting on
a deep sleeping Remus. Sirius crept down the stairs, rubbing his own eyes dozily before being
snapped awake by the loud indignant howl from the irritated bird. The owl started pecking at
James’ cheek, who just waved the bird away in his sleep.

Sirius noticed the way James slept on Remus’ chest, a flare of jealousy kicking in as he watched
James snuggle closer. He approached the owl, untying the letter from his talons and passing it a
random biscuit he found discarded on a nearby table. Then he smacked James round the back of
the head with the letter, a smug smile on his face as James shot up, smacking his head into Remus’
chin. Both boys were now wide awake, grumbling in pain.

”First my brother, now my best mate? Classy Moony.” Sirius joked, receiving a deadly glare from
both of the men in question.

James noticed the letter in Sirius hands and snatched it wordlessly, adjusting his askew glasses on
his nose. He tore it open, carelessly littering the envelope on the floor. His eyes widened, his face
breaking into a large unreadable grin.

”What? What is it?” Sirius demands impatiently.

”My parents are going to floo in today. They’re going to speak to Dumbledore about bringing
Reggie home with us.” James explains unable to contain his relief, “He’s going to be okay Pads!”

Sirius slumps into the nearby armchair looking absolutely defeated, “I erm I got a letter last
night..Evan Rosier is dead..he was one of Reggie’s best friends.”

”Dead?” James gapes, “But he’s only-“

”He was my cousin you know?” Sirius says quietly, “We grew up together.. well I suppose he isn’t
my cousin really..he’s my cousins uncle but the point is..we were related. He meant a lot to me
when we were kids and now..he’s just..gone. I didn’t get him out. It never occurred to me until
Andromeda wrote to me and let me know he was dead that..that maybe he didn’t want it either.
That maybe a lot of them don’t..”

”It’s not your fault Sirius.” Remus says sternly, reaching over to rest his hand over Sirius’ own,
“None of this is your fault.”

”I used to think I was brave for leaving, but Reg..Evan.. they’re just as brave for staying.” Sirius
admits, “Maybe even braver..”

Remus inhales sharply, “Listen to me. You’re brave, you’re so brave and yeah maybe they’re brave
too in different ways but it doesn’t take away from your own bravery Siri. It was hell for you to get
out and I for one am so glad you managed to get to the Potters.”

Sirius swallows, his grey eyes meeting Remus’ hazel ones, “I am not the brave one..I wasn’t even
conscious when I escaped.” He looks toward James meaningfully, “It was Reggie wasn’t it? He got
me out that night?”

James presses his lips together and gives a small nod.

”I never would have left him behind.” Sirius mumbles, “I never would have left that place without
him.”
”If..If Reggie didn’t get you to safety, you would be dead.” James reminds him, “I am grateful
every single day to him, for saving you.”

”Me too.” Sirius says quietly, “So I really hope I can return to favour and get him out. Get him to
safety too.”

”We will get him out.”James vows.

Sirius can’t help but believe him. There’s something in the way James face is set with
determination and his eyes are filled with promise and who is Sirius to doubt his best friend?
Sirius trusts James with his whole entire world and his entire world happens to be his baby brother.

Reg and Barty don’t move from the comfort of Reggie’s bed, Barty is resting on Reggie’s chest-
finally exhausted from hours of heartbreaking grief. Reggie had never really been affectionate but
right now he doesn’t mind. He knows Barty needs his reassurance and his soft words; he’s told
him that he’s with the rest of his family. Barty cried harder at that, it was supposed to be
comforting but the fact Evans son wasn’t even born yet had wrecked Barty.

“We we’re going to raise him together after the war. They were my future Reggie, they were my
life.”

Reggie stopped speaking all together, deciding to draw circles on Barty’s back as he sobbed. He
tried to keep himself together, but he had lost Evan too and it hurt. All the plans they had made
would never be more than plans, all because of some stupid war they had been dragged
unwillingly into the middle of. It wasn’t fair.

Every time he closed his eyes he was haunted by dirty blonde hair, bright blinding blue eyes and a
smug tight smile. Evans death marked the terrifying reality that Reg had spent months trying to
ignore, the war was coming and nothing anyone did would stop it. Maybe he could choose which
side to be on, maybe someone would give him a chance to fight for what was right. Perhaps he’d
manage to get the chance that Evan didn’t.

Just as Reg thinks he might finally sleep, his eyes closing heavily and welcoming the memories of
his friend, his bedroom door opens. His eyes snap open, some part of him hoping and expecting
Evan to be standing there. It wasn’t.

“Regulus, my boy, I need you to come with me to the headmasters office.” Professor Slughorn says
gruffly, his eyebrows raising at the two boys snuggling in bed.

”What? Why? I can’t just leave him.” Reg panics, his eyes pointedly staring down at his broken
friend.

Slughorn presses his lips together and puffs out his cheeks as he thinks, “Mr Crouch will be
perfectly okay.”

”His boyfriend is dead actually so I think you’ll find that he won’t be.” Reg snarls, making the old
man’s face fall, “What does Dumbledore want anyway?”

“I couldn’t tell you my boy, just been sent to fetch you.” He says calmly, “I will wait with Mr
Crouch..”

Regulus hesitates then nods, he gently adjusts Barty onto his pillow. Despite knowing he was
asleep, he whispers, “I’ll be right back.”
Reggie’s heart was caught in his throat as he made his way to the headmasters office. He tried to
not get his hopes up, all too often he had been let down by the expectations he set for people who
were meant to look after him. His entire life adults had hurt him, betrayed him and made him feel
insane for wanting to be a kid. He wouldn’t put it past Dumbledore to do the same, he already had.
He helped Sirius stay with the Potters but refused that same refuge for the Slytherin boy. Part of
him couldn’t help but pray and hope that the old man had changed his mind, it made him walk
quicker. Desperate for answers and freedom, he could almost imagine it, life at the Potters.

Dumbledore was sat at his desk, writing a letter when Regulus walked in. The first thing he notice
was the big red Phoenix, sleeping with her head tilted downwards. He couldn’t help but smile at
the animal in front of his eyes, he had always been fascinated by all animals, magical and non.

”Beautiful isn’t she?” Albus speaks in a low voice, addressing Regulus as he places his quill back
down and gestures for him to sit in the seat opposite.

Reg nods, not daring to speak as he takes the empty chair and stares down at his hands on his lap.
He nervously plays with his fingers, unable to meet the headmasters eye.

”I’ll bet you’re wondering why I called you to my office at this hour.” He says, his eyes gleaming,
“We missed you and Mr Crouch at meal times.”

”Evan Ro-“

Albus holds up his hand to silence him, “I am aware of the unfortunate passing of Mr Rosier. I
offer my sincerest condolences for your loss.” He clears his throat, “You will beg my pardon, but
this is not why I have called you here. I need a favour.”

Reggie feels his heart drop. He gulps as he looks up, Dumbledores blue eyes already settled on
Reggie.

“A favour?”

”I need a trustworthy spy, someone on the inside.” Dumbledore says with a forced smile, “I think
you would be most excellent at the job.”

Reg frowns and begins shaking his head, “But I don’t want to..I don’t want to work for him.”

”You wouldn’t be. Not really.” He continues, not put off by Reggie’s obvious hesitation and fear,
“You will be feeding the order valuable and necessary information, saving the lives of
many..including your brother.”

That catches Reggie’s attention.

”My brother?”

”Yes, Regulus. I will also in exchange for your services, guarantee your brothers life. I will ensure
that nothing happens to him during the war effort.”

Reg inhales sharply, his fingers tapping against his thighs as he tries to fight the oncoming panic
attack, “I..I..”

”Is there anyone else you want me to protect, Regulus? We can work together so that it is
beneficial to us both.”
 Reg can feel the tears begging to build, his heart dropping into the pit of his stomach. There was no
version of this where he got out. He was trapped, because who would decide to save themselves
over the ones they loved? Certainly not him.

”Remus Lupin.” Reg says quietly, “James Potter. Barty Crouch Junior.” Then as an afterthought,
“Peter Pettigrew.”

Sirius would need all his friends after all.

Chapter End Notes

Me adding the prank in now because I forgot about it the marauders forgot (not
bloody likely they were professionals ffs )

If you want the details of Evans passing read the “spin off” fic twin flame which is
Rosekiller centric based in this universe/the same timeline just a different POV.

FRENCH TRANSLATIONS:
je t’ai mon frère - I have you my brother

Je m’excuse. Je suis dèsolè- I apologise. i am sorry.

Ils viendront après nous. J’ai peur Sirius. J’ai peur- they will come after us. I’m scared
Sirius, I’m scared.

Moi aussi, mais tout ira bien et nous serons en sécurité- me too, but It’ll be fine and
we will be safe.

Je promets- I promise.

OKAY ONE CHAPTER LEFT THEN THE EPILOGUE AND THIS DRAGGED ON
FIC IS FINALLY OVER

Honestly once again sorry to all the people who wanted moonwater but honestly
wolfstar are soulmates and it felt WRONG
 Chapter 26
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

“I am aware of the unfortunate passing of Mr Rosier. I offer my sincerest condolences for your
loss.” Dumbledore says dismissively, clearing his throat, “You will beg my pardon, but this is not
why I have called you here. I need a favour.”

Sirius, James and Remus freeze, their backs against the wall watching as Reggie’s face flickers
with worry. Sirius can recognise the start of his little brothers anxiety attacks, he’s always been
able to see. He glances at his boyfriend, noticing that Remus too had spotted it. The shift between
them was palpable, the atmosphere had turned somewhat dark as they stayed hidden under the
cloak.

What was their headteacher up to? What did it have to do with Regulus?

“A favour?” Reggie asks quietly, his voice small in a way only Sirius knew.

His voice was eerily quiet, it was the same timid voice Reg used at home with Orion and
Walburga- he only used it when he was truly scared about something. Dumbledore scared him?
Sirius steps forward but is held back by James, who glares towards the fireplace pointedly. They
had to wait for the Potters, it was the only way of getting them all out.

”I need a trustworthy spy, someone on the inside.” Dumbledore says with a forced smile, “I think
you would be most excellent at the job.”

Sirius feels his blood run cold, he bites his lip to stop himself from speaking up. The anger slowly
beginning to build inside of him, that’s why Dumbledore didn’t want to help Regulus. He needed
him for a role in his war. In his game. It was never about saving Reg or protecting him, it was
always about what Dumbledore could gain.

Reg frowns and begins shaking his head, “But I don’t want to..I don’t want to work for him.”

Sirius exhales deeply, thankful that Dumbledore was to engrossed in his own games to notice.
Sirius had never felt so relieved in all his life, Regulus could easily have agreed but he stood up for
himself. He said no.

”You wouldn’t be. Not really.” He continues, not put off by Reggie’s obvious hesitation and fear,
“You will be feeding the order valuable and necessary information, saving the lives of
many..including your brother.”

That catches Reggie’s attention, his head snaps up towards Dumbledore. Once again James puts
his arm in front of Sirius, pleading with him to hold back.

”My brother?”

”Yes, Regulus. I will also in exchange for your services, guarantee your brothers life. I will ensure
that nothing happens to him during the war effort.”

That bastard. Sirius closes his eyes, willing Reg to sense his presence or something. Begging to
gods and goddesses alike to put a stop to this madness. Reggie is shaking, tapping his fingers
against his thighs as he tries to fight the oncoming panic once again.
“I..I..”

”Is there anyone else you want me to protect, Regulus? We can work together so that it is
beneficial to us both.”

”Remus Lupin.” Reg says quietly.

Sirius feels Remus stiffen besides him, he glances down and sees Remus’ own fist curled at his
side.

“James Potter.”

James makes a strained noise, his voice cracks a little as he continues staring at the fireplace
impatiently.

”Barty Crouch Junior.” Then as an afterthought, “Peter Pettigrew.”

James keeps his hand outstretched, clinging on to Sirius’ top as he keeps staring at the fireplace.
Perhaps he thinks by staring at it, his parents will show up quicker? James is so preoccupied with
Sirius, that he forgets one slight detail. Remus Lupin was just as protective of Reg as himself and
Sirius were. Remus had dated the younger Black brother and he knew him inside out, they were
friends and Remus would never stand back and let his friends fall.

He slips out from beneath the cloak before anyone can stop him, he walks forward making himself
known and folds his arms with an unimpressed expression. Sirius knows it isn’t the right time to
swoon, but Remus carries himself with such dignity and he looks hot quite honestly. From behind
he can’t see the look Remus is staring Dumbledore down with but it’s enough to make the old man
quiver slightly.

”Remus.” He says forcing a smile, “What a surprise.”

Reggie looks towards Remus with confusion, tears falling silently down his face.

”Still coercing students into your wizarding war, sir?” Remus asks, he sounds murderous.

”Remus-“

”I’ve been thinking actually.. I won’t help you anymore. Make me sign the register that is fine by
me, but I will not be gallivanting the forests with the wolves for you.”

”You fucking what?” Sirius tears the invisibility cloaks off himself and surges forward towards
Dumbledore, “You were going to kill him?!”

Dumbledore blinks at Sirius, “No. Sirius I can see that emotions are high right now, but this is war.
A war that Remus and Regulus can help win.”

”You’re not having them for your stupid war. They’re mine.” Sirius snaps possessively, “Remus
isn’t going near the werewolves and Reggie isn’t going near the Dark Lord! Understood?”

”Your loyalty to your loved ones is why you ended up in Gryffindor.” Dumbledore smiles,
“However, as Mr Lupin may recall, he already signed an agreement.”

Remus gapes at his headteacher, “I..I was a kid..I was scared and..”

”He knew exactly what he was doing.” Reggie swallows, his tear stained face twitching with
anger, “You let Remus go and I’ll do your spying.”

”Fuck no.” James finally emerges looking equally as murderous as the others, “No.”

His parents are scurrying behind him, the door to Dumbledores office swinging shut. They hadn’t
come through the fireplace, they hadn’t been able to but they got here another way, they figured it
out just to ensure their boys were safe. To make sure all of their boys were safe including Regulus.

With papers clutched in her hand Effie yells,“They are children!Albus! Children!”

”I mean..I wouldn’t say we’re children, I definitely don’t participate in child acti-“

”Sirius, shut up.” Remus says with gritted teeth, “Not the time.”

”We have the papers, Regulus is coming home with us.” Fleamont says, “No son of ours is joining
a war!”

”Maybe don’t refer to him as your son.” James mumbles blushing slightly, Sirius narrowing his
eyes towards him.

“Papers? How did you get papers?” Reg blinks in surprise

Effie smiles at him warmly, “We know people in high places my dear.”

”Very well.” Albus nods solemnly, “I will find another to help with the war efforts.”

Fleamont huffs his eyes brows raised, “Make sure it is not a child this time Eh Albus?”

Albus Dumbledore doesn’t respond. In the dungeons downstairs, Severus Snape lays staring at the
ceiling none the wiser of what is happening a few floors above. Peter Pettigrew lays on his back on
the common room sofa, waiting for his friends to return with news. None the wiser of what will
happen in the future, he’s just waiting and hoping the people he loves are all okay.

“I can’t believe I have two brothers.” Sirius grins at breakfast, “Two whole real brothers, we’re all
brothers together now.”

Remus stifles a laugh as James and Regulus glare at Sirius from across the table. Sirius knows what
he’s doing, he knows how the two men opposite feel about one another but that won’t stop his fun.
The headteachers chair is empty, which is odd but considering what took place last night it’s
unsurprising to the marauders. What is weird is Peter Pettigrew not being there. He wasn’t asleep
when they left their dorms either, he wasn’t there.

“Sirius.” Reg says sipping his juice, “I have every intention of fucking James in my new bedroom.
Just so you both know.”

Sirius chokes on his toast, coughing and spluttering as James’ cheeks turn red and his eyes widen
as he glances nervously between Reg, Sirius and lastly Remus.

“You don’t need my permission.” Remus shrugs at James, “but if you hurt him.. I might kill you.”

”Reassuring.” James mumbles, keeping his eyes glued to his food.

Sirius looks at Remus then between his best friend and brother, “Remus? Can I talk to you?”

Remus nods, pushing the seats backwards so they can both clamber out. It was a new thing they
were trying, communication. It didn’t matter how stupid it seemed, it was important otherwise they
would never succeed as a couple. It worked well for them, one of them would express needing to
talk and the other would agree. They’d got somewhere quiet and talk it out, it rarely ended in
arguments because both men were willing to try.

After a minute of silence James turns to look at Regulus, “Are you serious?”

Regulus smirks unable to help himself, “No, that’s my brother.”

”Reg, I’m not joking. I need to know.”

”Yeah.” Reg confirms, glancing around nervously, “I think..I always had a bit of a crush on you…
so.. I’m willing to sleep with you. It’s not like Sirius and Remus won’t be doing that every fucking
night.”

James inhales sharply, “Reg I’m not like that. I can’t do casual. I’m made to love loudly and I can’t
keep it in the dark like that-“

”I’m not asking you to.” Reg shrugs, “I just know I’m not ready for anything more than that right
now. I don’t want to hurt you or string you along, I do fancy you but I have got to take this slow.
What happened with Remus really fucked with my head, James and going from Sirius’ boyfriend to
his best friend..I mean, what the fuck does that say about me? I need time.”

”Okay.” James smiles, “I can give you time.”

”Thank you.”

”And sex.” James blurts out, “I can do that too. At the same time, casual sex whilst you figure it
out. I mean..if you want..I’d like to um..do that…with you.”

Reg snorts and shakes his head, “Okay.”

Sirius paces back and fourth, as he attempts to calm himself down before speaking. Remus knows
what is coming, Sirius asks the same thing constantly but he has to wait for Sirius to say it.
Otherwise this communication thing doesn’t work. Sirius stops, turning to face Remus and sighs.

”Do you still love Reggie? Do you want to be with him instead? I mean.. I get it if you do..I’m
broken..he’s..he’s okay.” Sirius manages to say, his voice cracking a little.

“Sirius. I love you. I want to be with you.” Remus whispers softly, reaching out and brushing a
loose strand of Sirius’ hair back, “You’re the only one for me. I can’t see a future with anyone else,
just you.”

Sirius tries to believe him and nods, giving his boyfriend a small smile. He didn’t want to lose
Remus but he was so insecure and paranoid, he was so afraid of the worst happening again. He
loves them both. He trusts them both, he just doesn’t trust them together. It sets his nerves on edge
the idea of the two of them ever being alone together. He clings to Remus like a parasite, fully
aware of how toxic it is but he can’t help it. If he can see Remus at all times, he knows that he’s
not with him.

“What do you see?” Sirius decides to ask, “In the future what do you see?”

”Us. We have a stone cottage away from all the noise, you have motorbikes that you build from
scratch and I have a study in the house, filled with books that you never enter. We cook together
but dance in the kitchen whilst it cooks and we burn it nearly every time. When the laws change,
because I know in my heart that they have to change eventually..we get married and we grow old
together, Mr and Mr Lupin.. somewhere down the line we have children-“

”CHILDREN?!” Sirius screeches horrified interrupting Remus’ otherwise lovely speech, “You
want children? Fucking hell Moons, you can’t just spring that on a guy. I’ve never thought about
that before, merlin. You want kids? I’d an awful Father, you’ve seen Orio-“

”You’re nothing like your parents, Sirius. You’re like Monty and Effie; you’re gentle and kind. The
kids will love you because you’re the fun parent who teaches them Quidditch and pranks and I’ll
be the boring old fart who tells them to do their studies and chores. We don’t have to have them,
I’m happy either way. It just feels right, having a family with you.”

Sirius’ fear seem to evaporate on the spot as he looks at Remus, his heart feeling quite full, “Yeah..
yeah I can see that. A gang of little Lupins..”He smiles breathlessly, “We’re going to have
children..we’re going to be a family.”

Remus laughs and pulls Sirius into a hug, “I love you, Sirius. No one else, just you forever.”

”I love you too.” Sirius grins, breaking free from the tender loving hug, “I have to go and tell
James and Reggie they’re going to be Uncle’s!”

”Maybe don’t word it like that!” Remus cringes, remembering the whole pregnancy scare last year.

”But it’ll be fun to shit them up a bit!” Sirius laughs as he runs towards the great hall.

*****

The day of Evans funeral comes around much quicker than anyone expected. None of them were
invited, not Barty or Regulus but that wasn’t going to stop Sirius and James from sneaking Reg and
Barty in the back entrance. They deserved to say goodbye to their friend, Sirius couldn’t bare the
thought of losing one of his Marauders. He knows Evan, Reg and Barty were best friends, the same
way he is best friends with James, Remus and Peter. It hurts to live without him, Sirius sees it
every single day in the way Reg hesitates sometimes in his walk for Evan to catch up. Sometimes
he lights up at something funny, turns to tell Evan just to realise he isn’t there.

Barty is numb. That’s how Sirius figured out it was more than friendship for him. Barty can’t
forget that Evan is gone the way Reg can, because a piece of Barty died with Evan too. His heart is
seven feet under the ground with the man he loves.

The four of them stand towards the back, dodging the Rosiers and the Blacks who are situated at
the front. Today was not the day for an unwanted family reunion. Almost all of the guests are
stony faced and dressed in all black, it’s a big turn out. Possibly because Evan is being buried with
his wife and unborn baby. As the vicar starts to speak, Barty squeezes past James and Sirius to
leave. Regulus goes to follow but Sirius shakes his head and goes after him instead. Reggie should
get to say bye to Evan.

He locates Barty outside of the church, a cigarette in his mouth as he struggles with the muggle
lighter. His hands can’t stop shaking and he drops the lighter to the floor, cursing at the sky above.
Sirius picks it up, reaching out to light Barty’s cig between his lips and drops the lighter back in
Barty’s hand.

”Thanks.” He mutters around the cig, closing his eyes as he breathes it in.
“I won’t lie and say I understand your pain, but when I think about losing Moony like that..what
I’m trying to say is that..” Sirius shuts his mouth, audibly groaning at his shitty attempt at comfort.

”You’re really suffering out here.” Barty smiles weakly flicking cigarette ashes to the floor, “Don’t
worry, just standing here is enough.”

Sirius smiles genuinely, somewhat relieved and also surprised by Bartys reaction, “Would it help
to talk about him a little?”

and so they talk. They share their memories, Sirius embarrasses his relative by recounting their
stolen childhoods and Barty speaks slowly and carefully about all the things that he loved about
Evan. They talk and talk until the funeral is over, Regulus and James walking over to them hand in
hand as Reg wipes away his tears.

”Are you ready to leave?” Reg asks quietly.

Barty nods with a smile, “Yes, let’s go and get drunk.”

In the evening, they let off fireworks with the help of Effie and Monty in the back garden of Potter
Manor. Regulus and Barty stand shoulder to shoulder, looking up at the night sky and Reg swears
the stars are shining just that little bit brighter. His eyes are glued on two in particular, one slightly
smaller than the other but they’re close together and Reg decides it has to be Evan and his child.
There’s no other explanation, he’d never seen those two in the sky before now.

He points them out to Barty who smiles and say, “I’ll join them up there one day.”

”Better not be any time soon, I need you.” Reg mumbles, his heart heavy in his chest.

”I won’t leave you Reg.”

”You’re one of us now, Crouch.” Sirius winks, patting him on the shoulder supportively.

Remus stands further back, watching his boyfriend and their friends. His eyes entranced on the two
brothers, he’s so grateful it all worked out in the end. For a moment he casts his mind back, he
knows it could have ended completely different. He knows he could have ruined Reggie’s and
Sirius’ relationship for good with how reckless and stupid he was. There’s still a long way to go,
there’s still things that have been left unspoken and there’s still the future to face. He sips on his
beer, watching as the two brothers and Barty cheer loudly for Evan and the bright fireworks.

”What are you thinking about?” James asks as he and Peter stand besides him.

”Nothing really.” Remus shrugs, “I’m just..it all worked out in the end, right? We’re all together
and Reg and Sirius have each other..”

James nods, “Yeah it’s crazy looking back on everything. Still can’t believe you fucked my future
husband and my brother in law, Moons.”

”Ugh. I’m never living that down.”

“Future husband?” Peter asks swinging his head towards James, “Blimey you move fast. I thought
you and Lily had worked things out.”

James presses his lips together and shrugs, “Yeah..she was just a bit too late. I have my eyes on
someone else now.”
 ”About time you stopped fawning over Lily.” Peter snorts, sipping his drink.

”Yeah you were proper endeared by her.” Remus snorts as James shoots him a glare.

Peter gasps, “It’s staggering how you like Reg now.”

”Nice one Pete.” Remus encourages softly.

”Really though, I thought you and Lily would be together eventually.”Peter says, “In divination I
swear I saw you two having a child together and Remus you...um actually it doesn’t matter.”

”Divination is made up.” James says, “None of it is real.”

”I want to know what your divination came up with for me.” Remus says curiosity getting the best
of him.

Peter turns pink, “Well..you weren’t actually there..you left us.”

James bursts out into loud laughter, “See what I mean? It’s such a pile of shit! Remus would never
leave us. He would never leave Sirius!”

”Never.” Remus agrees, staring up at the two brightest stars.

”Eugh! That’s fucking revolting!” Sirius yells, snatching Remus’ attention back towards them.

James has left his side and now has his tongue down Reggie’s throat, Barty is laughing and Sirius
looks ready to throw up. Reg wraps his arms around James neck, jumping up to wrap his legs
around James’ waist as he deepens the snog despite Sirius’ protest and disgust.

James breaks away, staring into Reggie’s eyes as he whispers, “I’m going to take care of you. I
won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Reggie smiles, his stomach doing back flips as he closes the space between them once again. He
somehow manages to ignore Barty’s laughter and Sirius’ gagging noises, and enjoy the moment.
He zones them out, focusing on the way kissing James makes him feel. Kissing James Potter
underneath the fireworks on a cold night, but feeling warm and safe. It feels right. There’s no tiny
voice telling him that James belongs to Sirius, the voice instead repeats just one word like a
mantra.

Mine. Mine. Mine.

And Regulus believes it.

Chapter End Notes

There’s only the epilogue left which is a big time jump but I have already started
writing random snippets for the war time period which so far consists of jegulus
being fuck buddies and falling in love with each other. Sirius working on his intimacy
problems and trust issues with Remus’ support. Remus going off with the wolves. I
already wrote the traitor fights between jegulus and wolfstar both so that’s angsty and
hurtful ngl but there’s no starting point or anything rn and I need to focus on Wedding
Crashers and twin flame before I start yet another fic

And for anyone who’s disappointed in the ending I’m sorry but I really couldn’t have
moonwater it just felt so wrong and sending Reg to voldy? Not on my watch he’s
my baby and he’s going to be safe with the Potter thank you very much

I also wanted to leave little trails just incase I do the war fic but I think I’ve ended it in
a place that has a conclusion/ending?
 Epilogue
Chapter Notes

QUICK NOTE: I understand some people probably wanted to see the war and see the
development of Jegulus’ relationship but this fic dragged on! It was only ever meant to
be a Remus revenge story at first and it kept on going. I’ll be honest and say I’ll
probably do another fic taking place during the war. I already have ideas for it but I
need to take a break from writing this AU and finish the Wedding Crashers fic with
Infinitewolfstar first.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Ten (ish) years later…

After war, there is finally peace.

“Remember when you and Moony fucked-“

or not.

”Really?!” Reg glares, throwing his arms around exasperatedly, “You’re really going to bring that
up on my wedding day, Siri?”

”Why not?”

”Because it’s my wedding day!”

“It’s funny though.” Sirius shrugs sipping on his beer as he watches his brother stress in front of
the mirror.

Reg looks toward his best friend for back up but Barty just snorts, “It is pretty funny.”

”I preferred it when you two loathed eachother.” Reg mutters angrily, running a brush through his
already perfect hair yet again, “God I feel sick.”

”Never too late to make a run for it.” Barty smirks.

Sirius throws a nearby cufflink at Barty’s head, “He is not leaving my best friend at the alter after
all that fucking drama. I just accepted them as a couple.”

“SIRIUS! That was MY cufflink!” Reg turns his eyes filled with panic, “Oh my god this wedding
is doomed! It’s doomed! It’s our ancestors Sirius, they’re fucking with my gay wedding.”

Sirius’ tries to hold back his laughter, he had never seen Reggie stress out so badly. Even when
they were fighting for their lives, even in the middle of a literal fucking war- Reg never lost his
composure this much. Apparently, all it took for him to lose it was his wedding to James Potter.
A knock at the door snatches their attention, Remus Lupin opens it and steps inside shutting it
behind him. Sirius smiles as he admires his own husband in a suit, he looked so handsome. So
perfect. So lovely.

“James is having a breakdown.” Remus says to Sirius.

”Ah right well, sorry Reggie but best man duties call.” Sirius grins, quickly kissing Remus on the
cheek as he passes by.

”Don’t get him drunk before the vows.” Reg warns heatedly, before aimlessly searching for his
cufflink.

Remus steps on something small and hard, he looks down and retrieves the missing cufflink. He
smiles at the initials engraved on it -J.F.P & R.A.P before handing it to frustrated and flustered
Reg.

“You feeling okay?” Remus asks as he leans against the wall, his arms folded against his chest.

”Yeah, I just…I can’t wait to be Mr Potter.” Reg grins, unable to contain his excitement.

“James is terrified you’re going to leave him at the altar.” Remus snorts, “He’s been watching too
many tv shows where that happens.”

”What an idiot.” Reg laughs affectionately, “Like I would ever leave him like that.”

”That’s what I said!” Remus muses, “He told me to leave because I was going to jinx it.”

Regulus rolls his eyes, “I supposed we better go and wait for him before he thinks I’ve genuinely
left him.”

James is pacing back and fourth as Harry sits scowling at his Dads eccentric behaviour. Sirius
raises his eyebrow, seeing how twitchy his best friend was. Sirius clears his throat, James stops
abruptly and sighs in relief.

”I’ve fucked up, Sirius.”

”Do I even want to know?”

James presses his lips together in a tight line, “I lost the rings.”

”You…you lost the rings?!” Sirius groans, running his hands over his face, “How?”

”I put them down for two minutes and then when I looked again- they were gone. Reggie is going
to murder me.”

Sirius hears a small -almost muted laugh and turns to look at Harry. He’s curled up on the sofa,
creasing his own blue suit that matches both of his Dads suits. He has his hands covering his
mouth, his deep green eyes widen a little as Sirius stares at him.

“Harry?”

Harry guiltily drops his gaze and reaches into his suit pocket and holds out the two gold wedding
bands.

”I was just doing a prank like you taught me Uncle Padfoot.” He admits sheepishly, readjusting his
slanted glasses.

Sirius lights up and ruffles Harry’s hair as he takes the rings back, a little sniffle as he says
sincerely, “Merlin I am so proud of you.”

James stares at his best friend, “Are you crying?”

”He’s a mini marauder Prongs!” Sirius smiles, “We did such a good job raising him.”

”We? Merlin Padfoot, I don’t know to tell you this one mate but it was Lily and I who had him.
Not me and you.”

Sirius gasps in mock offence, “I think you’ll find Prongslet here has three sets of parents.”

Harry rolls his eyes, didn’t he know it? He had more parents than he did friends at this rate
including Barty, Marlene and Dorcas. They all parented him, all of them had significance in his
upbringing but that’s what happens as a child born during war. Everyone helps out and raises you
and you end up with more family than you have fingers to count them on.

Speaking of, a knock at the door and his Aunties walk in carrying a crying and screaming toddler
in their arms. Marlene looks at the small child with something resembling disgust and fear as
Dorcas hands him over to Sirius looking extremely flustered.

”He’s been crying for his Dad for over an hour.” Dorcas informs Sirius, “I-“

”We.” Marlene interrupts, “Can’t take it anymore.” She affectionately rubs the toddlers back
before handing Sirius the stuffed blue dragon that Teddy can’t go anywhere without, “Thank you
Teddy, for reminding us why we’re the cool gay Aunties who babysit sometimes and not the
Mothers our parents wanted us to be.”

Sirius snorts as he holds Teddy in his arms, the toddler wrapping his tiny arms around Sirius’ neck
and burrowing his head against his chest as his sobs begin to subside. He begins gently rocking his
son, kissing the top of his head as the small child clings onto him. He smiles to himself, humming a
soft tune as Teddy’s eyelids begin to flutter shut.

He can’t believe there was ever a time he was afraid of this. Becoming Teddy’s Dad was by far the
best thing that had ever happened to him. He couldn’t believe he had gone so long without feeling
this much unconditional love for someone so small. He never thought he would be capable of
loving someone more than Remus Lupin, but it turns out having a child with that man? Yeah,
that’ll do it. Not only did he manage to love Remus even more somehow, his heart also tripled in
size the moment a newborn Teddy was placed in his arms. His heart hasn’t stopped growing since-
he’s sure it’ll explode one day.

”Dad?” Teddy says sleepily, “Smuffles.”

”Uhm. I can’t do that right now baby, Uncle Reggie and Uncle James are about to get married.”

”Smuffles.”

Sirius sighs, Teddy was his biggest weakness. He would do anything for his son, he would set the
whole world on fire for him..but his best friend and brother were about to get married.

”I promise after the wedding I’ll be snuffles- deal? For now, you have your dragon yes?” He asks
handing the blue dragon to his son.
The toddler nods, letting out a large yawn as he rests against his Dads shoulders, clinging tightly to
his toy. James smiles at his best friend and nephew, feeling somewhat emotional. He never saw
Sirius Black growing up to be this, he knew he’d be a fantastic Dad despite his own doubts but to
actually witness it? It was beautiful. Seeing Sirius and Remus so content and happy was
everything. They’d spent so many years fighting for peace and they finally found it. They all did.

Regulus stands at the bottom of the aisle, Remus and Barty standing off to the side speaking
quietly as Reg rocks back and fourth on his feet. He felt physically sick. He couldn’t bare to look
behind him, didn’t want to jinx everything. He was convinced James would stand him up, despite
dating for several years and James always turning up when asked- he was convinced that today
would be the day James decided to leave him stranded. The organ begins to play, their friends fall
quiet and Reg holds his breath. He hears people awwing and cooing so he turns his head to see his
big brother walking down the aisle with a sleeping Teddy.

Teddy was sleeping through his flower boy duties. Sirius takes matters into his own hands, with
one free hand he begins ruffling through his pocket and then starts dramatically throwing the
flower petals on the floor. He twirls, ensuring he has hold on his son and then blows petals off the
palm of his hand with his lips and smiles as he makes their friends laugh. Reg side eyes Remus, the
older man looking so pathetically fond that it makes Reg want to throw up.

Behind Sirius, marches in Harry who at ten years old had more attitude than Reg knew how to deal
with but as he hurries down the aisle he looks elated. He looks excited and he grins at Reggie so
widely that Reggie almost bursts into tears. He had secretly been worried that Harry didn’t want
them to get married, after all it was between Reg and Harry’s Mum, Lily and well..James chose,
well he chose Regulus didn’t he? But Regulus had been there from the start too. He had been there
for all of Harry’s firsts. His first steps, his first word, his first day of nursery etc just like Lily and
James had been. He loved Harry just the same way they did, even if Harry didn’t believe him.

“Here he comes.” Sirius grins, nudging his brother in the ribs.

Reg closes his eyes, takes a deep shaking breath and then watches as his future husband walks
down the aisle. It’s suddenly like tunnel vision, everything surrounding them goes silent and
blurry- all Regulus can see is James Potter. He showed up. He came to their wedding.

James takes Reggie by the hand when he reaches him and kisses his knuckles, “Hey.”

”You came.” Reggie smiles a little dazed from all the excitement and stress of the day.

James snorts, “Of course I did? I’m the one who asked aren’t I?”

”Ah.” Reg clicks his tongue, “So if I asked you wouldn’t have showed?”

”For you, I will always show up. Any where. Any place. Any time.” James whispers softly.

”Ugh that’s disgusting.” Harry mutters to himself, “I will always show up bleurgh.”

James laughs and ruffles Harry’s hair, “Wait until you fall in love Harry, then you will get it.”

”Ew I’m not ever falling in love!” He exclaims as the four men around him laugh.

“Are we ready to begin?” The vicar asks, looking between James and Regulus.

They exchange a small smile before turning towards the vicar and nodding. Regulus couldn’t wait
for the rest of his life with James. He could not wait to finally be Mr Potter.
 *******

Sirius jumps up and down as he struggles to put his ripped black jeans on. He notices his boyfriend
still laid in bed, he grabs the closest pillow and throws it at his head. Remus shoots up, rubbing his
sleepy eyes and glaring at Sirius.

”It is time!” Sirius stresses, “Hurry up! Hurry up!”

Remus blinks at him, “Time for what?”

”Baby girl is on her way!” Sirius responds unable to hide the bright smile, “Reg and James are
downstairs already.”

”Oh fuck!” Remus stumbles out of bed, aimlessly grabbing discarded clothes off the floor.

Sirius grabs a hair brush and starts messing with his appearance in the mirror as Remus throws a
jumper over himself.

”Sirius! We have not got time for this!” Remus insists, nodding towards the door.

”Oh but you have time for extra shut eye hmm?” Sirius teases, tossing the brush and darting out of
the room.

Remus hadn’t been sure about having a second child, it was one of those where Teddy was getting
a bit older and Sirius was incredibly broody. Every baby he saw made him ache inside with need.
After many talks over a few months, Remus finally agreed. They used the same surrogate as the
first time around, they used Remus’ sperm again. Sirius absolutely was not carrying on his shitty
bloodline thank you. Now at five years old, Teddy was about to become a big brother- although the
tot really wanted a pet dragon instead. Not a sister.

The two men said a quick goodbye to the couple downstairs before rushing off out of the door.
Sirius yelling with excitement and probably waking up half the street.

”What do you think they’ll name her?” James ponders, raising his eyebrow at his husband.

Regulus shrugs, “They have Edwa-“

”No one calls Teddy that.”

Reg glares at him, “As I was saying, it’ll be something similar if they have any sense. Something
like-“

”Wolfie.”

Reg looks appalled at the suggestion, “If they name my niece Wolfie, I’ll call child services on
them myself.”

”Rhino.”

”What the fuck James?”

”Short for Rhiannon.”

Reg turns to look at James perplexed, “Do I want to know what Wolfie is short for?”

”Nothing, but it’s an animal and homage to our wolf friend.”

”That’s shit. Wolfie Lupin. Poor kid.”

”Luna.”

”That’s taken by our goddaughter remember?”

James sighs, “What about something like Sirius?”

”I don’t want to know where you’re going with this.”

”Patience.” James smiles, “That’s not so bad.”

“Let me just say I’m relieved we’re one and done.” Regulus mutters turning his attention to his
phone, “Harry is a good name.”

James raises his eyebrow, “Ah..so you don’t want more kids?”

Reggie’s head snaps towards James in horror, “What?”

”Seems like the logical next step after marriage..”

“No no no James.” Reg shakes his head, “No. I thought we were on the same page.”

”I’m just fucking with you love.”

”That’s not funny.” Reg mutters, “I nearly asked for divorce.”

James mouth falls open, “Are you serious?”

”No…I’m Regulus.”

Sirius stares down at his daughter, his eyes filling with tears as he takes in her tiny features. Her
little hand holds on to Remus’ finger as they both admire the new addition. Remus looks at his
boyfriend, reaching forward with his free hand and wiping away the tears before they fall onto their
newborns head.

”Shes so beautiful Moony.” Sirius whispers, “So much like her Da.”

”Poor thing.”

Sirius frowns looking up into Remus’ eyes, “You better be joking. Both our babies look like their
beautiful Da.”

Remus kisses the side of Sirius’ head, “I love you.”

”I love you more Moony.”

“So..her name.” Remus smirks his eyes sparkling with mischief, “Are you absolutely sure?”

Sirius nods, “Yeah, I can’t wait to see James’ face when he realises. It’s going to be fucking
hilarious.”
”Don’t swear in front of our daughter Pads, she’s only three hours old.”

”Precisely. She doesn’t know what I’m saying!” Sirius winks but doesn’t swear again regardless.

In the middle of the afternoon, they receive their first visitors. Teddy is clinging to his Uncles
hands, his favourite stuffed dragon tucked under his arm as he peers nervously around the room.
His big hazel eyes look at his Dad and barrels towards him like a hurricane, Sirius laughs scooping
him into his arms and kisses his head.

”Where is Da?” Teddy asks looking over Sirius’ shoulders.

”Your sister needed changing.” He informs him gently, “Are you ready to meet her?”

”Don't wanna.” Teddy pouts, holding his dragon teddy by the shimmery wing.

Sirius sits down on the chair, adjusting Teddy on his lap so they’re face to face. He brushes his
fingers through Teddy’s hair and smiles, “Being a big brother is the best job in the world.” He says
truthfully, “You get to be best friends forever and ever.”

Teddy considers it for a moment then let’s out a exasperated sigh, “Does she like dragons?”

”I am sure she will.” Sirius nods, his head lifting up as he hears his boyfriend return, “Are you
ready Ted?”

Teddy takes a deep breath and nods shyly, “Ready.”

Remus kneels down besides the chair, the tiny baby in his arms. He lifts her up to show Teddy, his
face peers cautiously at her. He looks unsure, he nuzzles back into the safety of Sirius’ chest. The
baby lets out a small soft whimper and Teddy sits back up, staring at her intently. He looks down
at the stuffed dragon in his hands, then back at his new sister and without hesitation he places the
dragon on her chest. She falls back to sleep, without another sound. Teddy stares at her in
amazement.

”She does like dragons!”

”Well..what is her name?” James asks impatiently.

Remus stands up so James and Regulus can get a closer look at her. Reg feels a weird tugging in
his chest, his insides seem to burst at the sight of her. She is so dainty and small, the same way
Teddy and Harry had once been but it’s different this time. He doesn’t feel afraid as he looks at her.

“Marauder.”

James face falls and Reggie’s eyes widen in horror as they stare down at…Marauder.

“You’re taking the p-“ Reg cuts himself off glancing at Teddy, “You’re joking?”

”Mara for short.” Remus says convincingly, his eyes looking between the two Uncles for their
reaction.

James grimaces, “Mara isn’t that bad…”

”But it’s short for Marauder!” Reg points out incredulously, “At this point I would accept Rhino!”

”Rhino?” Sirius frowns.

 ”Long story.” James mutters, looking toward Remus (the more responsible adult), “Are you sure
about the name?”

”Its a nice nod to us.” Remus grins happily.

Reggie’s mouth just drops, he blinks looking at the poor unaware newborn, “Oh merlin. I am so
sorry.”

Sirius starts laughing, “Obviously we’re fucking with you.”

”Fucking with you!” Teddy repeats happily mirroring his Dad.

Remus glares at Sirius, “Really?!”

”Fucking with you!” Teddy laughs again, grinning as he stares at the four adults.

”Ahh no little dude you can’t say that.” Sirius says, “I can’t say that either. It’s a very bad word.”

”Nothing is as bad as naming your child Marauder.” Reg mumbles under his breath.

”So…what’s her real name then?” James asks, crossing his arms.

”Willow Hope Lupin.” Remus and Sirius say at the same time.

Reg can’t help but smile, Willow was pretty. It was far better than Marauder. It takes him a second
to realise that James has burst into tears besides him. When he does he just stares at his husband in
disbelief. It must be old age making James so sensitive all the time.

James just feels his heart leaping, it was still a small nod to them. She was named after the Willow
that protected Remus’ secret at Hogwarts. They spent so many moons together, travelling beneath
the tree to the shack. It was a subtle way of acknowledging all their history, their friendship and
their love. He can’t stop crying, judging by his best friends smug face he knew it was going to
happen. He knew James would fucking cry.

“Who wants to hold her?” Remus offers.

Before James can wipe his tears on his sleeve and volunteer, Reg has his hands held outward
surprising everyone. Reg was usually awkward around babies; especially newborns. He thought he
would drop them or something. When Willow is placed in his arms; he’s extra careful not to drop
Teddy’s dragon. The dragon he trusts no one else with but gave his little sister within seconds of
meeting her. Regulus stares down at the baby and feels his insides melting.

“James?” He says softly, rocking the sleeping baby in his arms.

”Yeah?”

He looks up meeting his wonderful husbands brown eyes, “I want one of these.”

James eyes widen comically as he breathlessly chokes out a small, “Yeah?”

”Yeah.”

Chapter End Notes

Chapter End Notes

Ummm okay so gay weddings weren’t legal in the UK until 2013?!?! What the hell?
For some reason I thought it was in 1990s maybe 2004 at the latest? Wow. Anyways
for the sake of this fic gay marriage was legal xxxx

I know weird place to end it, I guess it’s open to interpretation whether or not Reg and
James go on to have kids or not.

I will probably revisit this AU for the war years as I have ideas for that but the
wedding and the baby won’t be mentioned so this epilogue is based way after that? Idk
im making sense

Anyway thank you so much to everyone who read this fic! Thanks for all the love and
support! Every comment, kudos etc means a lot! This is the first time I ever wrote a fic
and I’m proud of it tbh even if it’s not to everyone’s liking.

No I won’t be writing a moonwater fic bc I tried and failed, wolfstar are just meant to
be.‘I know keep saying it but it actually doesn’t make sense to me for them to be with
anyone else but eachother.

Remember to read Evan and Barty’s POV in twin flame and keep your eyes out for the
war fic if that’s something you wanna read- it will be very jegulus and wolfstar
centred. With little nods to the past Aka this fic

I purposely left certain characters out of this epilogue due to the war fic. They might be
dead, they might not be- you’ll only know if you read the war fic I guess

Anyway thanks again! Love you ❤️

This fic is finally over

 Better than revenge

Hello!!!!

Just want to say a massive thank you for all the love and support on this fic! Personally I wasn’t
sure about it but I live for the drama!!! I keep seeing tiktoks about it, which is absolutely wild!

After weeks of stressing I finally posted the first chapter of the war years. I called it Better than
Revenge because of Taylor Swift…obviously. It’s under the Revenge series along with the
Rosekiller version Twin Flame.

I’ll be trying to update weekly but I have a new job and college so it’s going to be tricky! I have
lots of drama and angst written already and I’m sure more to come.

Anyway hope you enjoy ❤️

End Notes

I have never written a story before just done smutty one shots but I was inspired after
reading @infinitewolfstar About Last Night, Drugs and surgical scrubs @anauro and
pengiwens marauders fics (I’m on the last one now it’s really good) if anyone can
recommend me some more fics to read I’d be so happy thanks

Also let me know what you think about this! Idk if it will be wolfstar or moonwater
endgame (also idk what regulus and Remus ship name actually is?)

Works inspired by this Co-Conspirator

one by pseudohappiness

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