The Illusion of Happiness: Why We Should Try Not to Be Unhappy

The modern capitalist world has ingrained in us a dangerous delusion (thanks, in part, to Thomas
Jefferson’s Declaration of Independence): the belief that happiness is a goal we must relentlessly
pursue, primarily through material achievements. Jefferson was, of course, a smart man—smart
enough to declare that the pursuit of happiness is a human right, but not its attainment. This
distinction is crucial, and in my view, stems from a place of cruelty. Allow me to explain.

The idea of chasing happiness is no different from the ancient religious pursuit of godliness, a
concept instilled in us for millennia by religious institutions. Just as religion persuades us to seek
salvation for pro t, modern governments and markets condition us to chase happiness—because it
fuels economic growth. We have become so obsessed with this pursuit that we no longer distinguish
between happiness and pleasure. I am highly skeptical that most people can draw a clear boundary
between the two in their personal lives. The more unhappy we remain, the more pleasure we seek,
creating a vicious cycle. Perhaps the best way to measure someone’s happiness is to observe their
reaction to instant grati cation—how eagerly they chase it, and how empty it leaves them.

The things we crave the most are often the very things that make us miserable. Everything we
assume will bring us happiness torments us until we attain it, only to lose its luster once we do. This
endless loop ensures that we remain in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction, fueling consumption,
ambition, and the illusion that true contentment is just out of reach.

Happiness as a Derivative, Not a Goal

Happiness should be a derivative of existence, not its purpose. The problem arises when we assign
happiness a role it was never meant to bear—when we expect it to carry the weight of our lives.
Under this pressure, happiness inevitably crumbles into misery. If I enjoy my work, I derive
happiness from it. But my work is not a pursuit of happiness—it exists for its own sake, and
happiness follows naturally as a byproduct.

Consider two individuals attending the same music concert. Their objective experience is identical,
yet their subjective realities differ drastically. One person is there to impress their social circle,
documenting every moment to showcase their “amazing life.” The other is immersed in the music,
marveling at the ambiance, connecting with fellow fans. Who do you think truly derives happiness
from the concert? The event is the same, but their approach to it changes everything.

This distinction is important: we cannot force happiness, but we can create conditions where it
arises naturally. And more importantly, while constant happiness is impossible, avoiding
unnecessary unhappiness is within our control.

The Fleeting Illusion of Others' Happiness

In school, I remember reading The Enchanted Shirt by John Hay—a story that suggests sometimes,
not having can be the very source of happiness. The more I re ect on life, the more I realize it has
no inherent meaning, rhythm, or structure. We are not destined to be anything—not happy, not
unhappy, not rich, not poor. We make choices, even when we think we aren’t. Indecision is a
decision. Inaction is an action. Every moment, we de ne ourselves.

We can sit on a park bench and feel miserable, assuming that everyone passing by is happier than
we are. Or, we can embrace the moment, simply observing life as it unfolds. When we see a group
of friends laughing, we assume they are genuinely happy, never considering that one of them may
be battling severe depression. We see couples and assume they are in love, without knowing if
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 in delity shadows their relationship. We compare our inner struggles to others' outward
appearances, forgetting that social media and eeting glimpses offer only the highlight reels of
people’s lives.

Schopenhauer once wrote, "If the immediate and direct purpose of our life is not suffering, then our
existence is the most ill-adapted to its purpose in the world." In simpler terms, reality is beautiful
and happy objectively but cruel and painful subjectively. This is why life is wonderful to
observe but dif cult to live.

The Market’s Role in Our Misery

If we want to feel happy, we must derive it from our actions, our everyday lives, even the most
mundane chores. What was that old adage again? It is so simple to be happy, yet so dif cult to be
simple. Happiness has always been simple; it is we who complicate things and, in doing so, lose the
ability to derive joy from them.

But one of the greatest objectives of the modern world—particularly the capitalist market—is to
overload human life with so many opportunities for instant grati cation that we forget what
happiness is. We are left only with the regret of not having it. After all, there is no money in
attaining happiness—only in chasing it.
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